#and honestly all aspecs. where there is one of us there is all of us

[theartsyhognose]

Happy ace week!!

[mossy-aro]

ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.

when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!

that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.

but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!

joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.

and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.

tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking people in my GSA to cool it with the PDA?

so i (17f) am aroace and sex repulsed. i'm the only aspec person in my school's GSA. at meetings couples will hold hands, kiss, sit on each other's laps, make out, etc. it grosses me out and makes me really uncomfortable to see PDA, especially with people i'm not close to. i had been trying to ignore/look away when people would get all lovey dovey bc i know it's the one safe space for gay kids to be themselves since it's a rural area in a famously homophobic state, but it still makes me really uncomfortable. the problem happened when we were all sitting in a circle talking about fundraising ideas and a girl (i'll call her jen) started talking, so i looked at her, and she finished by saying "it was actually abby's (her gf) idea!" and kissed her cheek. i reflexively made a face and looked away but jen saw and got offended and said "what? i can't kiss my girlfriend? are you a puritan or something?" other kids started saying stuff like "yeah she got all weird when she saw me and my bf holding hands". they all KNOW i'm aroace and sex repulsed so it's not like it was a surprise. i said "well PDA makes me really uncomfortable and honestly you guys can be kind of gross sometimes" to which abby said "oh my god it's not like we were having sex in front of you! get over it!" at this point the teacher overseeing everything told us to "stop bickering" and finish the agenda for the day. at the end of every meeting we have a wrap-up where we talk about plans for the next meeting and stuff so i asked if everyone could lay off the PDA, at least during the actual meeting (not counting before/after/breaks since i can just go in the hall). everyone got really pissy and started calling me a puritan and prude and i started crying. after the meeting when i was waiting for my mom to pick me up the teacher pulled me aside and said that i shouldn't ask the other kids to "hide their affection" just bc i didn't like it especially since it's the only safe place for them to do it. i started crying again and asked wasn't this supposed to be a safe place for me too? she said she sympathized with me but i was asking a lot of the other kids. some of my ace mutuals i talked to said the other kids and teacher were being rude and i'm just as queer as they are, so they should respect my boundaries too. but i'm second guessing myself after the teacher told me i was asking them to hide their affection. i really don't want to leave the GSA bc i do love it and except for the last meeting i've gotten along really well with everyone there. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[llilyrose]

llilyrose spends her time analyzing aroace stuff. yay.

isat spoilers afoot

what i especially like about the way adrienne wrote mira's orientation is the lack of room for interpretation. yes they snuck aroace talk into fantasy france, but just stop and think for a minute. what would happen if mira just said "i'm aroace" or "i don't feel love the same way" instead of all the nuance we got to her character in the friend quest convo?

we know she's sex repulsed, we know she's romance repulsed. we know she loves fiction that has those things in it, loves interpreting fictional characters that way, but can't bare to see herself in that situation. it makes a lot of sense with regards to her location (vaugarde, a very sex-positive and romance-adamant country) and also with regards to herself (the way she feels about her environment). Of course she wouldn't blame other folk around her for engaging with their religion the "correct" way, of course she'd internalize all her feelings of being outcast and turn it back on herself.

The fandom respects this! Nobody ships her romantically, or sexually, because we know she's not into that. We know she would never and i know a bunch of people who would punch you for even thinking it!

Now what if Adrienne hadn't put this in the game? What if they had just said on their tumblr one day, "mira's aroace," or something. where would we be now? aspec shipping discourse would definitely take the reins. we'd have people shipping her in all kinds of different ways, bending the aroace character to the best of their ability because they could still be into sex, or romance, or whatever. this is TRUE, it's POSSIBLE, but there's no nuance. We wouldn't know the way Mira really feels about these things unless Adrienne told us, so a lot of people would either ignore/"work around" her identity or just wouldn't even know about it to begin with!

Introducing mira's orientation in the way adrienne did leaves no room for discourse. we know if she's sex-positive, sex-negative, how she reacted to finding out she was, etc. It provides so much more representation than a simple "I'm aroace" ever could. It's such a wide label, so finally having CONCRETE information about a canonical aroace's experiences with their orientation is so, so freeing and honestly quite refreshing. and it's worked into the story seamlessly!!!

She's not an emotionless carcass with no capacity for love, she's not outwardly detesting sex or romance at every possible moment, she's simply a well-rounded character who happens to be aroace. You have time to warm up to her before ever even finding out about her orientation! Or having any clue at all (barring maybe the suspicious sketches)!!!!! Aroace people are real!!! We're so real!!!!

Speaking of the suspicious sketches! We know siffrin's alloace (from, like, one line of dialogue), but we don't know if he's sex-repulsed. Adrienne's gone on record to say "aces can still have sex" in reference to siffrin, so I'm inclined to believe he has at least some sort of libido.

When looking at the sketches, both him and mira have a repulsed reaction. I think there are three possible reasons for Siffrin here!

Siffrin is sex-repulsed and has a visceral reaction to them because he thinks it's gross.

Siffrin has no libido because the stress overrides everything in his system. That combined with his ace identity would probably lead to a distaste for the papers.

Some people would NOT GET THE MEMO from the act 3 friendquest. Sometimes when you're writing you have to account for the gamers being really really dense. Some people didn't even understand the Isa friendquest was him coming out as trans basically. Since Ace characters are hard to "prove" unless they explicitly state they dislike sex, this line of dialogue might've just been there to drill it in that Siffrin is ace because the only other place we see that implication is one line in the friendquest. It could even have no tie to his relationship with sex, who knows?

one of these options is not like the others! /silly

I couldn't tell you which one of those it is, but i think at least one of them had to have hit the mark. It's a lot harder to decode siffrin's sexuality when we only get like 5 lines of dialogue total that vaguely even reference it

With this we come back to the issue from earlier: He could be demi, he could be ace, he could be sex-repulsed, he could not! Most people write them sex-repulsed and I'm personally on that bandwagon, but interpreting them a different way isn't any less correct unless you completely ignore the fact they're ace in the first place.

Even sex-positive aces have complicated relationships with sex. Some do it for the gratification, some simply have higher libido and can't think of a different way to get it out, and others only do it to please their partner.

I think writing an ace character as sex-positive should be seen as a character study instead of an excuse to ship two characters together. Is this character the type to even enjoy it in the first place? How often? How do they interact with it? Etc. Which I think is what Adrienne was talking about when she said "aces can still have sex." We don't know about siffrin's identity, we don't have a grasp on the nuance, but we do know he's ace and that he experiences love differently from the way mirabelle does, and the way isabeau does, and the way odile does, and what have you.

I love love love the representation we get in isat. An aroace, an alloace, and someone that a lot of fans headcanon as aroallo though it's unconfirmed. Even if Odile's not aro, we still get that line of dialogue about not finding romance suitable for her at the moment, which speaks true to a different experience altogether. No two characters experience love, experience life the same in isat. That's why i get to make a tumblr text post that's a bit too long exploring the different avenues adrienne took when writing the characters lol :')

[nekropsii]

Atomic Ask Bomb 3!!

We got a shorter one this time around! I hope everyone's evening is going well!

Content Warning: Long-ish, Discussions of Ableism + Queerphobia, Weird Cronus Moment™.

Same. I'd read a fanventure about that, I think.

Like, I don't personally believe WV would be allergic to being a mentor or something of a father figure, but I do have to wonder the level to which he was wigged out by the way that Dave and Karkat treat him, because Dave in particular imprints on him in a way that is... Kind of strange.

The later portions of Homestuck really baby WV. It's upsetting.

------

Easy. The actual things wrong with them.

A lot of the discourse surrounding them is fabricated, or has such poor priorities it might as well be fabricated. Most critical conversations about them surrounds things people just made up over the course of years of mythologizing their #Problematicness.

For Example: Most of the discourse surrounding why Horuss had problematic writing had to do with how he was "Bad Otherkin Representation", when the real issue was the fact that Hussie was conflating Being Otherkin with having a Dissociative Disorder, and in turn saying both of them are the exact same level of Fake And Gay for the exact same reason, because to Hussie they were the same thing. To this day, people get startled every time I point out that Horuss is canonically a System despite him bringing it up just as regularly as he does being Therian. Those are totally wack priorities.

------

...That's scary... I don't even have words...

------

LOL. The Lost Weeaboos was a Grade A bit. Thank you Aranea, very cool.

Honestly, I don't even count Cronus as a "facade character", because it's not like he's making any efforts to hide jack shit. It's been... Interesting, watching several people refer to "his facade" lately, when, like... What are they talking about, honestly? He's pretty bold-faced about his whole deal. This isn't really a Dave situation where you could be capable of falling for it when you're younger, because Cronus couldn't be doing a worse job at "hiding" how awful he is. He's not even trying, because he knows he can get away with it. What are the other Alphas gonna do? Leave?

Hope you're having a good time!! The Alpha Trolls may be a Trash Heap, but they are my Trash Heap.

------

There comes a point where it's almost comedic how unaware people are of it... Like, what do you mean you know he's a Horse Therian but not that he's a System? He literally calls himself the Host of a System and talks about Switching. IN THOSE TERMS. He's not even obfuscating it by using some esoteric Troll terminology, he is LITERALLY using the words "Host", "System", and "Switching".

It's painful. I know this is a moment befitting of an XKCD comic, but... Jeez. You'd think these things would both be on the same level of common knowledge, considering how they're traits that are directly related to each other and given equal amounts of screen time, but nope!

Unfortunately, it is a situation where this is relevant. Sad!

------

All characters will become AroSpec and/or ASpec with the help of my Beam Attack.

... Except for Cronus. It's just not funny when it's him. Due to The Themes. It's not fun to headcanon a character as any minority when a huge part of their character is that they pretend to be minorities for Pity Points to eventually cash in for Sex. Ew. Making him literally anything other than Just Cronus plays directly into so many vile Queer stereotypes it's insane. Those are stereotypes that have gotten people actually genuinely killed. Just... Ew. Gross.

------

[aroace-ventplace]

Being in fandom spaces is honestly so exhausting. Because there'll be a character who explicitly expresses disinterest in sex and romance, and most of the fandom will headcanon them as gay/lesbian. Any aspec headcanon will get called homophobic or assumed to be coming from a place of "Christian purity culture" (no I'm not a Christian, wasn't raised Christian and am not from a Christian majority country. Your assumption is racist and xenophobic actually).

Then there'll be characters who are confirmed to be aro/ace. These characters are always shipped with literally every other character and shippers would be like "but aros can still date! And aces can still have sex!" But then you headcanon a character who used to be in a relationship as angled or oriented aroace, and the entire fandom will be like "but this character has been in a relationship before, so they can't be aspec!" These aphobic double standards are infuriating.

YEAH, i've seen all of this so many times i've lost count. i understand that the people who say these things want to see themselves reflected in characters they like, but... so do aspecs. why are our headcanons and interpretations of relationships always treated as less legitimate? why is canonical aspec representation and coding so universally ignored? why does existing as aspec in fandom spaces always have to feel like an uphill battle?

(...and sometimes we get to see new and exciting variations of aspec erasure when certain (allo) creators explicitly say it's totally fine to romantically/sexually ship their aroace characters. that's been a fun one to see play out.)

i stopped interacting with fandoms a long time ago - finding other individual people who don't just tolerate but are actually EXCITED to discuss aspec readings of series has been far better than any fandom experience i've ever had. still, it sucks that larger fandom culture is so hostile to anything outside of the norm (basically: shipping two cis allo white men) that so many people have had to splinter off into their own small groups. i don't have much hope, but maybe one day we'll get to a point where aspec perspectives won't be entirely erased in mainstream fandom. maybe.

[prototypesteve]

hi! I just came across your acc and read some of your posts and you seem a really inspiring individual. im a 18yo demisexual person who's really close to their queerness (both in the sexuality and gender aspects) as its a fundamental part of my individuality. and i dunno, both my being acespec and genderqueer are a tricky... thing to get into when i want to get into relationships. im trying to be happy by myself. and this was very random and all, but as you're an adult aroace (i see very very few of them) its inspiring to me knowing I can still have a good, normal life? while living in full authenticity. idk. sorry if this is random. you dont have to reply. your account was nice to come across. have a wonderful day

Thank you for this. This is why I’m here. Honestly this is most of why I came out. Seriously.

Being Different and “New”.

The world is catching up with you, so you’ll have to be patient sometimes. Language often outpaces feelings. People know how to address genderqueer (they know all the words) but they’re still learning how to process genderqueer (they’re deconstructing all the old gender “archetypes” and stereotypes they were taught by parents and teachers who didn’t address or process genderqueer in their day). They will figure it out, because they can see it’s real. But it’s frustrating, in the meantime.

Even our own community of LGBTQIA+ (in Canada we use 2SLGBTQIA+, leading with 2S for two-spirit) is catching up with us in a lot of ways. The queer community has largely thought of queer as for/about genderqueer, and so when they see aros and aces and demisexuals and demiromantics, they have to either accept or reject that there’s a whole other layer of queer called relationship queer who intersect and overlap with genderqueer inside the bigger (and for some “newly bigger”) queer category/world/thing.

Being alone.

Alone is a complicated word for us. Aspec people experience a few kinds of alone-ness. There’s completion, which allos sometimes don’t get. We’re complete inasmuch as aspec people don’t have as many spaces in their lives where they need an “other half,” even though many of us spend a lot of our lives being told we have that space and we need to fill it. I wrote about that, here.

Then there’s the way we can can feel isolated from the bigger queer world because of the ways some people refuse to accept asexuality and aromanticism as queer, because they see it as a cishet thing, somehow.

We can feel isolated from traditional communities built around faith, politics, ethnicity, national identity, or even generational identity (GenX was wiiiiildly amatonormative), all because our defining differences are falsely interpreted as “new”. People misread our orientation as a phase, or a “made up internet thing” even though we’ve always been here. For ages, the world didn’t want to talk about all the asexual, aromantic, demisexual, and demiromantic people they could see everywhere—unlabelled, but plain as day—and now that we want to talk about ourselves, they’re going to say “you’re making that up”.

Then there’s the alone-ness of trying to explain how we do love, but differently. That one’s hard. I think that’s the one I’m going through the most, this year.

“See Also”:

Anyway, here’s a poorly-sorted and always growing “library” of links to my most popular social media posts, and stuff I’ve learned as an older ace. The recurring theme is that it really is going to be okay.

I’m still me, but now I know why. (How I explain my “thing” to straight friends who knew me from before I came out.)

Phase (You don’t outgrow it. I’m proof.)

Complete (Our complex relationship with “Alone”)

1994 (The counsellor story)

When I realized (Slow origin story)

Lifeline (Something bad happened to me when I was young, and believe it or not, Spider-Man rescued me.)

Recipe for Disaster (When life happens BEFORE you figure out your orientations)

Sexual Induction rather than a sexual awakening. (Things won’t always follow the romance novel playbook.)

Complicated. (Being queer AND Christian.)

Din Djarin Aroace Rep (We love. We just mostly do all the other kinds of love)

Treasure (a note to my trans friends)

Happy Ace Week (yes we’re here)

Masked (About not being out to everyone)

Negotiating (About gaining “acceptance” from the bigger queer community.

[aro-bird]

I've been thinking about how to phrase this post for months but honestly it's been a bit of a struggle but I'll try anyway.

Considering I made a post before about shipping aroace characters and how allos tend to use the lived experiences of aros and aces in order to justify shipping a (typically repulsed or uninterested) non-partnering aspec character I do think this discourse genuinely has way more nuance especially considering other aspecs and shipping and a wider discussion about the community.

As much as I do want to agree here that some aroaces do use media to explore their sexualities and romantic orientation and they often project it on to established or widely regarded aspec characters, as well as non-partnering aspecs have a right to feel upset when a non-partnering character gets partnered in media, it feels like there's a defensiveness from both sides about the issue and it definitely reflects a larger discussion on romance and sexuality in the community.

It's true, for example, that we don't get much aroace representation in media and the ones we get are often limited or very stereotypically non-partnering romance-repulsed ace characters, but even with these stereotypes there are very much real aroaces who fit them who shouldn't have to beg people to have a character's identity be respected especially from other members of the aspec.

It's also true that non-partnering romance-repulsed characters in media do need to be seen and respected as these characters often have an impact and helping the aspec community be recognized without being treated as some strange other, but being treated as some strange other is also something that other aspecs have to deal with especially if people have a very narrow view of what aromanticism and asexuality could be.

People seem extremely defensive on both sides and honestly it's not surprising. A lot of the people in the community deal with erasure, not just in media but even in their own social circles and it could be exhausting trying to prove your existence to other people, especially in spaces where you would expect to be more respected than others like a fandom that has a prominent aspec character for example. It doesn't seem to be just silly fandom drama at times but an extension of the other issues in the community too.

How we treat romance and sexuality for example as a topic reflects that with aroaces discoursing on whether or not we should discuss more of these topics with the amount of posts either saying that "aspecs can do [insert romantic/sexual activity] too and should not be infantilized or treated as all repulsed about this thing besides being a narrow view of aromanticism/asexuality which can invalidate and hurt other members of the community" or "we should be more careful with discussing sexual/romantic discussions because it feels like a lot of them are veering into shaming repulsed people territory which is what this community was trying to set out not to do like other communities had done to hurt us in the past". There's definitely a nuance there that should be recognized when diving deep into this and especially with regards to the effect of allonormativity and amatonormativity that often gets ignored in some of these discussions.

I don't know where I'm going with this but I guess I understand why some aroaces may want to ship the (typically repulsed or uninterested) non-partnering aroace character and I also get why others are defensive about shipping them.

I do feel like the solution isn't gonna be that simple except maybe stop harassing each other over this but otherwise the discourse will continue even if we get more aspec characters in the future from what I'm seeing. We genuinely have a lot more aspec characters than we ever did before and a lot more queer characters in general, and the discourse is still there as it was ten years ago.

[luce-speaks]

the car scene

written for @fe-aspec-week 2024! this is set in echoes dnd au (created by me and @good-beanswrites), in which the plot of Echoes is the plot of the group’s d&d game. scenes in italics take place in-game.

—

Lukas sighs. “Honestly, Python? I'm not sure if I love her or not. Since being parted from her, I feel no particular longing to see her again.”

(He stops briefly, glancing around the table, trying to gauge if he’s doing okay. It doesn’t seem right to spend too much session time on his character’s personal issues, but everyone seems content enough. He decides to continue.)

“I sometimes wonder if a vital part of me is broken. I look at Clive and Mathilda and see... Well, you used the word "fire". But whatever it is that they have, I seem to lack it.”

Python punches him on the shoulder. “Aw, don't you worry. The ‘one true love’ thing isn't for everyone. Certainly not for me. And I dare anyone to tell me that I’m broken.”

Lukas blinks. “So you think such a lack of feelings is… normal?”

This time, when Python leans in, he throws his arm around him, for a sort of half-hug that Lukas politely tolerates. “Perfectly.”

—

The session ends soon after, with cheerful goodbyes exchanged as they all filter out of Mila’s fancy apartment. Lukas joins the other two in Forsyth’s beater of a car, and they begin the thirty-minute trip back to their apartment complex.

It’s silent in the car for a few minutes, interrupted only by the staticky hum of the radio that refuses to turn all the way off and the ever-concerning rumble of the engine. And then—

“Y’know,” Python says abruptly, “it’s pretty cool that you made your character aro.”

Forsyth nods. “It is! You never see that in fantasy stories. It’s pretty sad.”

“…What?”

The car goes dead quiet again. The rumbling engine sounds louder than ever.

“Luke…”

“That was on purpose, right?” Forsyth says, craning around to peer at Lukas in the backseat.

Python elbows him. “Eyes on the road, Fors.”

“Yeah, but he—”

Lukas sighs. “Can one of you explain what you’re talking about?”

Now it’s Python’s turn to lean across the center console (and Lukas’s turn to wonder how these two haven’t gotten themselves into a car accident yet.) “So, that stuff you were saying in the last scene. How he wasn’t in love with that backstory character, and maybe not with anyone else, either? And he feels like he’s broken because of it?”

He nods, unsure where this is going. “I… thought it made sense for the character.”

“It does,” Forsyth says. “And it also sounds a lot like he might be aromantic.”

“Aro, for short,” Python adds. “It means you’re not interested in anyone like that—romantically, I mean. Like me.”

“You’re… not?” Lukas frowns. “But I thought—at the game cafe—”

“Hey, aromantic and asexual are two different things. Which I only happen to be one of.” Python grins. “So, y’know, if you ever—”

“PYTHON!” Forsyth turns away from the wheel again, this time grabbing his friend by the shoulder. “Can you at least save it until we’re out of the car?”

“Hey, eyes on the road!”

“I know! If you hadn’t started—“

Lukas tunes out the arguing in the front seat, too preoccupied with his own thoughts to keep track of what they’re talking about. He feels a bit guilty for (accidentally) tricking his new friends into thinking he made his character like this on purpose. For making something that spoke to them, made them feel seen, only to have to explain that it was all happenstance. It feels like a betrayal of some sort, even if he didn’t intend it.

But, then again, there’s something else bothering him. Memories resurfacing, of his parents asking him when he’ll get married, of school dances and college parties, of a thousand little moments that each left a bad taste in his mouth. He always figured it would change when he got older, or when he got away from his parents—but he’s done both, hasn’t he? He’s almost thirty, and he’s living alone, and he’s never once wished for someone else to share that bed with him. He’s never thought too hard about it, but…

“Python,” he says nervously. “How exactly do you know you’re aro?”

“Uh—”

“The general ‘you’, I mean, not you specifically,” he adds quickly. “Just… how do you figure it out? How do you know you’re not just…” He trails off, unsure how to finish that sentence.

Python glances at Forsyth. Forsyth, for once, stays focused on the road, where he’s trying to merge into the left lane of the highway. Python turns back to Lukas.

“Uh,” he says again. “Usually, I think, you just get tired of waiting. S’what I did. Got bored of waiting for something to change and decided to go my own way. There’s not really a process to it. You just… make up your mind.”

“And it’s okay if you change it later!” Forsyth adds. “Using a label isn’t something you have to commit to forever. If it stops being helpful to you, you stop using it.”

“Oh.” They make it sound so simple, he thinks. “I… I need some time to think about all this. It… makes sense, I just…”

“Hey, there’s no rush,” Python says.

Forsyth nods. “Take your time. We’ll be here if you need anything.”

“And for what it’s worth—” Python turns toward the backseat again, looking Lukas directly in the eye. “You’re not broken, Luke. No matter what anyone told you. Okay?”

Lukas nods, still lost for words, before choking out a “Thank you.” The path ahead of him is treacherous, but in this moment—in the back of Forsyth’s shitty car, surrounded by people who support him, wrapped in the hum of the engine—he feels like he can take it all.

(When he officially comes out at another D&D session a few weeks later, he receives a hearty round of hugs and congratulations, none more enthusiastic than Python and Forsyth’s. It’s the happiest he’s felt in a long, long time.)

[dootznbootz]

Hi!! I love your blog and I’m enjoying your Odypen headcanons and theories very much! I recently started reading the Iliad so I’m new to all this and I just want to know your opinion on smth. In song 1, lines 135-140 Agamemnon mentions the bride prizes of several Achaean leaders, including Odysseus. Obviously nothing else is mentioned, no name, just that he has one, too. What’s your take on that? Any headcanons? I honestly hate the whole cheating discourse around him and I don’t want to add more fuel to the fire because in the Odyssey he was clearly a victim!! I would just love to know what you think about this particular thing in the Iliad. Considering the historical and cultural context, having a bride prize was normal in war (albeit awful from our modern standpoint). But Odysseus is a very interesting and complicated character so this could go in many different ways with him, and in any case it doesn’t really change my opinion on his love for Penelope. Thank you! :)

Thank you so much!!! That's so kind! And I'm so happy you're reading the Iliad! I hope you enjoy it! I'm so happy you're enjoying my silly and I DO have many thoughts about it! :D

And very good that either way, it doesn't change your opinion on his love for Penelope. My opinion/interpretation regardless of those lines, that should ALWAYS be the interpretation that people have of Odysseus.

So idk if you've seen my Aspec OdyPen silliness yet and/or my "Odysseus is a half-eunich from the boar". BUT those are my headcanons. (which I can delve into further later)

but I'll go over the canon evidence now. :P

(disclaimer: Slavery is a fucked up thing regardless of the circumstances. this is in no way excusing any of it)

So IDK which translation you're reading, but as someone who's read multiple versions...Some just say "Prize", and with the "it" and "something". I...didn't really see it as a woman and/or specifically a concubine.

Let Achaeans give me another prize, equal in value, something I’ll enjoy. If not, then I’ll take a prize myself by force,                                   something from you or Ajax or Odysseus.

(Book 1, Johnston)

Let the Achaeans find me a prize in fair exchange to my liking, or I will come and take your own, or that of Ajax or of Ulysses; and he to whomsoever I may come shall rue my coming.

(Book 1, Butler)

But if they do not give me such a gift, then I will seize your own prize or Ajax’s or Odysseus’ and carry it away, angering whomever I visit.

(Book 1, Heumann)

So to ME, (I do not know what the actual words said mean) I take "Prize" of "something of equal value" and/or just a slave.

As yeah...My Odysseus is aspec (basically Pen-romantic/Pen-sexual), I kind of plan to WRITE it personally as a bit of a thing with "Grab one of Odysseus' slaves, he doesn't use them as concubines."

And with Odysseus being the one to transport Chryseis, I have it where it's a bit of "I'll go bring her to her father. Take any slave you wish from my tent if you must. I don't care."

Agamemnon dragged a swift ship down the shore, chose twenty sailors, loaded on the oxen, offerings for the god, and led on fair-cheeked Chryseis.          Shrewd Odysseus shipped on as leader. All aboard, they set off, carving a pathway through the sea.

(Book 1, Johnston)

(Also with Ajax and his girlfriend/bride prize, I think this kind of made him extremely worried. My Odysseus and Ajax have "special beef" even BEFORE the war but they are fine about it by the war. Odysseus not only doesn't have a concubine or slave woman he's attached to but he also was helping a bro out in a way lol.)

And Odysseus is a king and a piece of shit. It's horrible but it feels in character for my lil asshole to basically use pretty slaves in trading. "Hey, you like lighthaired girls, yeah? Well, you have that really pretty silver-studded sword...I want it. Would you like to exchange?"

I want to make it clear that I'm not writing like this or interpreting this in the way of "UwU Odysseus is too of a good boy for that." as that feels icky to try and "make everyone else shitty to make him 'better'". It's literally because Odysseus is just simply LIKE this. He has basically no libido/sex drive if Penelope isn't around. (I'm keeping this as safe for wormlings as I can so I'll leave it at that.)

An old wip post explains it more but I'll also put the wip itself here to kind of explain lol

Like... Love and Lust only exist in Penelope for Odysseus and vice versa. But he's still an asshole.

Not only do they just give SUCH ace vibes to me but also like, ngl, this is really nice to write and "let out some frustrations" with vent writing. I relate to Odysseus in a lot of ways and the whole "People/goddesses won't leave you alone despite wishing to be left alone" and the "pretty asexual" is really nice to vent through him. :')

I can't bitch someone out for trying to "change my mind" but Odysseus can. It's another reason why my Odysseus is a "pretty boy" as he is in canon as well :P

BUT these are just MY headcanons and/or what I plan to write, while I just don't really vibe with Odysseus being with folks willingly other than Penelope I have big gay for her. I live vicariously through Odysseus I can't stop others and other people COULD find evidence of Odysseus being with others if they truly wanted.

[our-aroace-experience]

Hi! I was on the asexual tag saw this blog and just wanted to see if anyone else who is aspec can relate to my ramblings. Rambling tldr: not claiming a label despite that label actually relating to my experiences because it just doesn't fit perfect enough and because it doesn't fit perfect enough in my mind I don't think I want to use it.

Now, back in 2020 I claimed being 'asexual' by name and then a couple of months later claimed being aroflux which eventually changed to 'greyaro' over a year later. And those two terms fit me the best, grey aro ace is me. However, because I'm greyaro I still feel romantic attraction though it is rare but its still present enough in my mind to continually be wondering about what label to put it as. For the most part, I don't have a label even when the attraction - romantic/sensual/alterous/aesthetic - arises. Which again doesn't rise often, but I daydream about it a lot or reminisce about old crushes - particularly the one about a girl way back in high school days. (Let me tell you that was a wild time in my mind). Back then I was thinking I was bisexual only to cancel it out because I didn't want to have sex with her. However I never questioned if I wanted to have sex with boys (I just assumed I would, thanks heteroallonormativity). But the romantic feelings I had for her were the same like the boy crushes (which came up every few years). And for a timeline purposes, before her my last crush (boy) was in the 7th grade, she was the 11th grade, and my last crush currently was senior year of undergrad college (the best one honestly I could actually talk to him and not be overly ridden with anxiety and embarrassment). And despite so many years passing I always wonder - does the bi label fit? Was that with her an bi experience? I know its whatever I feel like it was but also I'm wondering if my hesitation is because deep down having that bi label attached makes the 'im not straight' thought more permanent? If that makes sense? Like 'im not straight' in any way, not even hetero aro/ace? And maybe that thought just makes my head spin a little. I thought about the pan label too; but when I read the definition to see the differences between bi and pan I realized that pan definition doesn't connect the closest but bi does. However I still can't always make it fit. It's like when I was going by aroflux despite the fact it did not fit for me, it was clunky in my brain calling myself that. But then I read about grey-aromantic and it fit perfect! But not my romantic orientation is still in murky waters; I ID as a girl so for the most part of my life boys have been what I've been romantically attracted to, however hetero isn't me. I usually just go as fluid for all my attraction titles which I do like but that opens up more discussion of "okay, but who, what gender?" So in that case I guess bi would be the correct answer...despite the fact gender doesn't play a part (hence fluid label I go with and or queer) but it isn't all genders I fall for, I lean in some directions more than others. So it kind of does, doesn't it? But again I'm like "....meh it just doesn't fit/doesn't fit the way I want." And I am one of those people who agree that you don't have to use every label or any label including micro (for example, aegosexual I can relate to but I don't feel the need to have two microlabels) however, once I start thinking in depth I start to question myself as I do because I'm a thinker. And I think a lot because in real life I'm not in the space where I can speak about this openly with the people in my life.

Wonder if anyone else has had something like this on and off throughout their life too?

Thanks for listening~

you can be bi and greyromantic at the same time, if that helps! but not wanting labels is totally valid and if that feels best then go for it!

[qfzeeph]

I'm tired of just saying "straight" because it's easier, because truth is, it's not. I'm tired of pretending I experience attraciton "normally," because I truly cannot relate to the norm. And I've always been this way. There was a brief period of time where I, a person who had used the label all through high school because it felt right, was groomed and coerced by abusers that asexuality wasn't a real thing, and there was no way I could be since after beginning treatment for my previously undiagnosed anxiety and depression I began to feel strong attraction towards fictional characters exclusively. Both of these abusers fully understood that sexual attraction was not something I had a grasp on and used it to get themselves quick satisfaction. In turn, it's pushed me even farther on the ace spectrum, and here I am today with an identiy and feelings I can't even name because of how situational and mangled they've become. An asexual identiy shaped both by feelings that have always been part of who I am and traumatic experiences that made it even more complex and confusing. I can't even say that Gray Ace is something that fits 100%, it's like a shoe that's a half size too big. But, it's the closest thing. While I still prefer to not give a name to the mess-I've-come-to-love that is my aspec identity, I'm decided far more comfortable saying "Gray Ace" when asked. I've heard words like Demi and Ficto thrown around, and to be honest both of those feel the same "half a size too big" to me, so just a general Gray is fine with me. To this day, there's one real person I can say I truly felt attracted to, and five fictional people who have also invoked these emotions in me, all of which have been within the past 5 years (the real life person being a friend who I had gotten closer with last year. I did shoot my shot but he wasn't interested, which is perfectly fine.) So here I am. I'm a yume shipper who's somewhere in the gray area. And honestly, that's okay with me. 🖤🩶🤍💜 (Semi-related Side note for Kaito: I headcanon him as pan because vocaloids are a blank slate and can/will show love to you no matter who you are if you so choose. So I felt like Pansexual was the best way to convey that.)

[lunar-rcp]

Shipping thingy, go ig? (Also kinda ranting about my ships)

(Romantic and idk of sexual can be applied here (points to my aspec headcanons)

Now I may or may not be the one behind the term "poliamroy", now known to show Poli, Roy and Amber in a polyamorous relationshio, but I just adore these gals.

Although I do like Polroy, whatever ship name will Mark × Bucky have, and Sandber, although Sanber is so far the only one not canon in most of my AUs so far (maybe in (In)Security? And yes, that parenthesis is important)

My crack ships, however, are Carry/Keaton, Truck X/C4L4M17Y (aka a psychopatic and monstrous vehicle...thing...she'll be seen soon on WTPB/P.O.L.I.), and Poli/Amnesia (WTPB/P.O.L.I. is not the only AU of mine that have that ship...shhhh)

For kiddos (mostly Daily Life, but I'm comin' to get the ones shown in the main show like Annie and Jessie...I'm coming to yeet angst and lore at Mach 88 at those who I find >:) /j) I got something going on for the Modfall versions. But so far, the only thing I can tell you is Jenny/Mary because it's both obvious in my designs of them and any interaction I'll show about the AU. Don't worry, none of the ships are sexual, just crushes that can work it out, and the Modfall kids are also teens.

(Platonic)

Now don't get me started on this one, especially for Helly. Bro will get all the bitches because of his personality but instead of starting a harem, he just starts a breakfast club that may or may not be plotting the end of the world. /hj

Mostly, it's just gotta be Jin&that gas station girl (using the & and / system of AO3 identifying ships, &=familial/platonic and /=romantic/sexual), the rest of the Rescue Teams unmentioned, also Helly & anyone from outside of RCP, most of the Daily Life kids, and I haven't got into this part well yet.

(Familial)

Oh boy, this is where the lore fuck-ups happen. Depending on AU, it varies A FUCKING LOT, but what is consistent are 1) Helly treating the older RTs as his parents, 2) Poli getting uncle status on any young RT member, 3) and Roy always vibing with any Jin AU's mother.

For WTPB/P.O.L.I., there are a lot of adoptions, and even there will be a future plot point surrounding it. This one is highly confidential, but as I can say here...Jin knows Poli more than Poli knows himself, Helly still have connections to someone in the military he calls bro, and Roy is adopted by a WW2 veteran when he was a juvenile.

For (In)Security, Amber is Helly's foster mother, Helly's bro is...dead, Poli/Price's parents are fucking homophobic cray-cray, and Roy/Rhode got a bad relationship with his father. Jin has a similar role to Tessa, but her parent is still Steve Harrison (also WTPB!Jin's dad).

As for Modfall...shh......

And for that new AU, "Poli"/Mr. Robinson is Harley/Helly's godfather.

That is all...Dave away from this bullshit!

*screams in ace*

woah, thats a LOT of relationship hcs you have there!

youre so creative!! to think you can make so many relationships and write so much amazes me, love your aus! they're great

rooting for your aus honestly!!

[finniestoncrane]

Y’know, there’s one thing I don’t get about Arkham Rids. And it’s the whole bit about him being aro or ace or both. Lots of people say he’s aro/ace because ‘the base nature of (Catwoman’s attachment to Batman) disgusts’ him. And that’s fine. Honestly, I’m disgusted by it too sometimes. And so are some people who aren’t into BatCat in general. The thing that gets me is that people use this one line as evidence or something, and then leave no room for discussion, which I think is a bit stubborn. Yes, their overtly sexual relationship grossed me out too. Yes, I myself am arospec and aspec. But that’s the thing, it’s a spectrum. So while I understand that people get frustrated that he may very well be one of the few characters in media who is aro/ace, people have to understand that 1. It’s a spectrum. Attraction is a very complicated thing. 2. One line, does not a confirmed aro/ace make. And 3. I’m sure lots of allo peeps can be disgusted by a ‘base nature attachment’ as well. Lots of people, regardless of orientation don’t like hearing about what I can only assume Riddler interprets as an extremely sexual relationship that somehow breeded feelings. Which, to me at least, sound more like a demisexual sentiment that a flat out asexual one. It’s fine either way in my opinion. It’s just frustrating to me how some people aren’t open for discussion or nuance. Especially when I myself fall into said nuance.

hello lil beloved! i am not qualified in the slightest to discuss aro/ace spectrum stuff because i am a monogamous slut who loves romantic things

but as for the eddie, i think it's probably coming from two places:

wally wingert said in a cameo i saw once that he can't see the riddler flirting, he doesn't see him being romantic or anything like that. i think he might also have mentioned it in a behind the scenes interview or something? that plus i guess some people think that if he had a woman captive and didn't shoot his shot, then he's not into that? but that's a stretch and a little bit weird lmao

here's the thing though, there's so much eddie does say and doesn't say, and it's all down to how you interpret a character or their tone. some people go MAD for arkham!verse riddlecat, they see sexual tension between them and the way they talk. some people see eddie as canonically bisexual because he's depicted as such in other canon sources. some people see him being repulsed by catwoman or batman or sex in general. which brings me to the second point:

canon doesn't matter a tiny bit when people have their favourites. you can do what you want, you can think what you want. i headcanon arkham!eddie as bisexual, monogamous and autistic, because i can. and because the source material doesn't say that he isn't. and even if it did, it wouldn't stop me lmao which i think is where the big thing with eddie (and a lot of riddlers actually!) comes from. there's that little bit of a suggestion, a lil bit of hope and like you said, people cling to it, because the representation isn't anywhere else for them!

but ultimately people can do whatever they want for whatever reason forever and ever 💚 i know it's maybe annoying when some people won't hear you out about it, but also, they don't have to. which sucks for you, but they're entitled to be stubborn bub!

all that matters is that he's fictional and that people can do what they want with him u-u 💚

[xenonsdoodles]

Dimimi!

DIMIMI!

(first of all I have to note that this was sent approximately one second after I reblogged the post. incredible. thanks so much)

    First impression:

I was obliquely aware of throuses long before I actually played it, so on my first actual playthrough it was something like “oh right it’s this guy. people are weird about this guy. surely I won’t be weird about this guy.”

    Impression now:

I cannot overstate how weird I am about this guy.

    Favorite moment:

So the thing is that if I try to pick anything that’s a major part of the plot I am just going to end up picking like. half the scenes in the entire route. Instead of doing that I’m going to say I liked the support where he tricked Ashe into telling him which sweets to buy him. That was cute.

Honorable mention: in my VW run when he killed my (comically over-leveled) Byleth in one hit and I had to go back in time and do some Actual Strategical Thinking to keep him from doing it again. I was yelling in real life.

    Idea for a story:

I have simultaneously a lot and not enough :)

One of them is a potentially multi-chapter mess in which he and Felix gradually repair their friendship using Byleth as a go-between, which might end up being good. Or I might never get it to a point where I like it enough to post. idk. explodes in a silly way

    Unpopular opinion:

I love curating my fandom experience so that I barely ever see bad takes about him and I don’t have to engage if I do :)

Uhhhh unpopular opinion: I love him so much (it’s unpopular because my irl friends keep bullying me for it) (I use the word “bullying” lightheartedly here ofc, we all love mimi in this house)

    Favorite relationship:

I mean do I really need to. do I really need to say what it is. I think we are all well aware of my favorite relationship for Dimitri, by this point,

…ok honestly though I am actually pretty picky about what variety of dimileth I actually like. The deeply weird version of their dynamic that exists in my head Compels Me and I am doing my absolute best to communicate through my art and fic what the hell that actually means. So far I don’t know if I’ve been successful but I sure am going to keep trying.

ALSO. I am not exclusively a dimileth enjoyer, and I LOVE so many of his relationships that aren’t necessarily romantic. Dimitri’s arc is about, among other things, learning to recognize that people love him and that it’s okay to lean on them if he needs to, and god do his friends really love him so fucking much. I got his paired ending with Dedue in my og run, and they are. So important to me. I can see them as platonic or romantic and it doesn’t matter because either way they love each other and they save each other’s lives all over again every single day and I am Definitely Not Crying About It.

    Favorite headcanon:

I have a lot of small and mostly unspoken headcanons in mind when I write and draw him, but it’s hard to articulate any one of them on its own. I’m gonna serve my own All Of You Are Weird Aspecs character agenda and say I think he’s grey-aro, grey-ace, bi, and Not Normal About It and no I’m not projecting in any way who said that

obligatory Him

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

Hi what about 1 and 12 for the fic ask?

Hi winnie!!! Thank you for the ask 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

1. Which three fics occupy your top posts? Tell me a bit about the inspiration behind them!

I’m going to assume this means my most popular posts, so I’m going to go by hits

#3 - It Had To Be You: this is the first fic I ever posted so I’m not surprised it has some of the highest ratings on my profile. Sakuatsu was HUGE back when I wrote this and I think people were ready to consume any media about them at the time because this is not my finest work lol. The inspiration came from watching When Harry Met Sally (my fav romcom of all time, I rewatch it like 10 times a year) and I realized that the personalities of the main pairing fell in line well with sakuatsu.

#2 - you’ll always know me: my baby. My piece de resistance. I’m not surprised it didn’t blow up the way aibtntfi has as hq has a shit ton of extremely good fics so you’re never really lacking for good content, but I’m very pleased this is my second most read! The basic inspiration for this was that I was listening to Taylor Swift’s evermore album (tis the damn season/dorothea in particular) and those two songs reminded me a lot of iwaoi in the time skip. A childhood friends to enemies to friends to lovers was perfectly in the cards for it and I think I planned out the entire fic in like three days.

#1 - and i’ve been tryin’ not to feel it: no one is shocked except for me lol. I never expected for this fic to do as well as it has but now this fic is basically the reason I have a following at all! The inspiration behind this was seeing a lot of jjk tiktokers doing ooc skits and it made me so irritated that I had to write a Megumi and itafushi that I felt was in character for a modern au. It was originally supposed to be a short oneshot but here we are 12 chapters later lol

12. Pick three fics that feature the same trope. What do you like the most about writing that trope and/or how did you do that trope differently in each story?

Friends 👏🏻 to 👏🏻 lovers 👏🏻 slow 👏🏻 burn 👏🏻 Slow burns are my favorite romance trope. I’m aspec so it’s RARE that I’m ever convinced by an insta-love story and I think slow burns where the couple truly gets to know and understand each other are the most romantic sort. Honestly, the only fics of mine that really feature this and can be considered a slow burn are my only three multi-chapter fics lol

• you’ll always know me: This one was the most fun to write, hands down. The angst, the yearning, the passion, this fic had everything that I love I truly wrote it for myself. I think it has the most believable romance out of all of my fics and my use of memories/flashbacks at the beginning or end of each chapter really made the story and relationship feel so much deeper. I can’t rave enough about how much I love it.

• and i’ve been tryin’ not to feel it: This fic is a slow burn in the sense that they like each other the entire time but are both idiots. I did include instant attraction in this one, but it’s not insta-love. Megumi is immediately intrigued and attracted to Yuuji but he refuses to let himself get drawn in by him (he folds almost immediately). Their relationship has been very fun to write and seeing them grow together and slowly understand themselves and each other has been wonderful to write out.

• It Had To Be You: this one isn’t unique at all in the sense that I didn’t realize I didn’t have to copy When Harry Met Sally plot point by plot point. I waited way too late to start changing things up and adding my own personal flair to the storyline, but it’s still a fun time. This fic has the most standard annoyances to friends to lovers plot but I still think it’s quite believable.