#and hidden iskall and cub | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hanahaki-disease · 2 years ago

Text

Haven't I Given Enough?

A Hermit! Tommy HC x DSMP Crossover

Chapter 11 | Paranoia is All I've Got Left

Summary: When left with the unknown, and kept from important information, Wels and the others had to come to their own conclusions somehow.

Words: 3206

Notes: Song Title is from "Papercut" by Linkin Park

*******************************************************************

Wels hadn’t seen the glitched person himself since Cubfan told him about it, nor had he seen any form of corruption begin its tyranny over his home. And while he was glad about that, it also scared him because it could come at any moment. Somewhere in the world, creatures and villagers were disappearing from the world and he would never know. It certainly kept him awake at night. Reminded him of his old world, and he didn’t want to think about it anymore, nothing good ever came from thinking of the past.

There was a team, just a small group of hermits, who investigated Iskall’s base–and by extension Stress’s. Nothing was out of the ordinary in terms of blocks, everything was how it should be. Cub, who was a part of the small search party, used his vex magic to detect any interference from a side Wels could never know.

“Wels!” The armored man looked up from the map of the shopping district. He had been studying the map to find any place the player could’ve hidden, but he was finding it difficult. There were many places they could use, a lot of shops that had empty spaces that could be their hidden base. “I saw the kid!”

“Where?” He asked, setting aside his plans for the next search.

“He was with Scar,” Tango answered. “They were in the nether but I couldn’t see where they were going, but he wasn’t glitched.”

“What do you mean?” Wels said. The entire reason for the search parties and rallying hermits to find them was because the player was that he was glitched. He had shown up randomly in the server without a message in chat, no evidence of hacking in the server’s code (Joe had checked for them), and magic was proven false. “He has to be glitched! How else did he get into the server?”

“I don’t know, but I know what I saw,” Tango stepped closer to the knight. “His body wasn’t doing anything crazy and everything around him was normal. Even Scar! Which is saying something because you know that the vex in him would’ve done something if anything was wrong.”

“Cub said he didn’t find any magic around Iskall’s base, though.”

“I think it’s because his mind is biased,” Tango sat in the chair across from Wels. His blue hair illuminated the room more than the few bits of candles Wels had around his base. “Magic is funky like that.”

“So then what do you want me to do Tango? Just leave the kid be and say I told you so when we're facing watchers at our demise?” Wels snapped. He had faced the watchers once, the coldness the one in white had when they saw his world perish, and the fear of the watchers that slaughtered his people. He refused to let the hermits experience that again. “I’m sorry Tango, but I just can’t take the chance that whoever that kid is, isn’t glitched. I’ve already watched my home die because of a glitch. I don’t want– I can’t watch it again. ”

Tango stayed quiet. The blaze hybrid couldn’t meet Wels’ eyes, knowing he was right, and imagined the world around him disappearing into nothingness. Wels had told him the story of what happened to his home server, the chaos that was infused into its code because of the mercy one person had on a contagious virus. All it took was one person after all. He remembered being told that the signs hadn’t been seen for weeks, that the infection began underground and in the far reaches of the world, giving the people a false sense of hope that they could help–cure the cursed player.

But it was always futile. The world would crumble and fade away; men, women, and children all slaughtered by the deadly, yet merciful blades of the watchers above them. Because once one saw that angel of hope, it was over, and there was nothing you could do.

“I’m sorry,” Tango said. “I…I just thought that maybe the kid wasn’t so bad, y’know? Maybe it was just a false emergency or something.”

Wels sighed. He hadn’t meant to snap at his friend. He knew the reasoning behind his thoughts, a part of himself also wanted to believe in the blinded hope that the kid wasn’t some harbinger of disaster, but someone had to think clearly and sensibly here. If not him, then who? Keralis? No; as much as the server loves him, it was hard for him to stay focused and serious for too long. Cub? He was the one to seek out a person with authority in the first place, and maybe it was because the vex have a hard time staying in a leadership position, Cub just wasn’t the type to take control like that. Doc? Possibly, the cyber-creeper-hybrid had all the qualities for being a leader, having taken the lead in Area 77 a few years back, in the gigacorp shops last season, and the perimeter this time. But he had plainly turned down Wels’ offer to join the hermits against the kid, “not wanting to get worked up over nothing '' he had said.

“No, I’m sorry too,” Wels apologized. “I hadn’t seen this from an outsider's perspective before and was just focused on eliminating a threat.” Tango sat up in his chair and looked over the map Wels was looking at. The knight had spent the last four hours staring at it that he fully believed his tired eyes had missed more than they saw. “And, I thank you for helping. I know that these are big accusations and I could get in trouble for causing mass hysteria and all that jazz, but I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen with that mystery kid and I just don’t want you guys to get hurt.”

“Hey man, I get it, trust me, you don’t have to explain it to me all the time,” Tango chuckled as he read the map details. “Also, how current is the map?”

“I got it, like, a month ago, why?”

“Oh, okay.”

“Why, Tango?”

Tango placed the map back on the desk, the colorful buildings were quickly covered by another map. The edges were sharper and freshly made and the black ink for labels was still somewhat fresh. “Because, if the kid had built anything in the shopping district or changed any of the shops, you wouldn’t see it on an old map. Especially if it dates to before the kid first started to pop up.” Tango willed his hair to burn a little brighter, the blue flames rising higher over his head and providing more light around the room. “See, look.” Beneath the magnifying glass, Wels could see the faintest marks of a trail beneath the dark oak trees at Iskall’s base. Paved dirt and gravel dotted the sea of green before it stopped at the side of the mountain. “That's probably where the kid built a little base of operations or something, we could have a search party scope it out and report anything important.”

“Has anyone told you that you’re a genius?”

“Not today, no,” Tango smiled at the praise.

“Well, you’re a genius.”

–

The search party didn’t consist of a lot of people. There weren’t many people in the rallied group to begin with, but the small cluster of hermits–consisting of xB, Cleo, and Jevin–met up in front of False’s copper shop before heading to the newest addition to the server. They had done a thorough search of the shopping district a few days ago, nothing had become out of the ordinary since, but it didn’t put their minds at ease.

Everything was exactly how it should be, not a block or grass out of place, no strange-looking mob, nothing, and it left a foul taste in their mouth. How? They thought. If the world around them was vanishing because of the glitch, then shouldn’t there be something wrong? And yet, as they walked the deepslate roads towards the semi-conjoined bases of Stress and Iskall, they found nothing that could be used as evidence against the possibility of a glitched player.

Slowly, the deepslate turned to grass beneath their feet. Leaves crunched with every step and the tall blades of grass swept across their ankles the further into the dark oak trees they ventured. The temperature dropped a few degrees when they reached the denser part of the forest as the canopy of dark green above them shielded the late summer sun. Somewhere to the left of them, the rattling sounds of a skeleton encouraged the trio to hurry their steps, lest they want to meet the business end of their weapon.

“Okay, according to the map Tango gave us,” xB unraveled the piece of parchment, moving so that one of the few rays of light that breached through the leaves illuminated the map. “The path starts over there somewhere.” He pointed to his right. “And Stress’s base is just on the other side of this creek. I think we should split up, one person goes and asks Stress if she’s seen anything weird, and the other two go and check out the thing.”

“You just don’t want to visit the thing just in case it’s dangerous, huh?” Cleo crossed her arms, a smug expression on her face the longer it took xB to answer. “How about we ask Stress first and then go check out the thing because what if she has information we could use if there’s any kind of hostile thing over there?”

xB and Jevin looked at each other, they were right to volunteer Cleo to come with them.

“That’s what I thought,” Cleo leaped over the small creek and made her way to the fairy base Stress was building. It had been a while since the zombie had seen her friend, even more so since there had been a girls' day with all the resident women of hermitcraft, and Cleo was slightly disappointed that this was the reason for her visitation with her. “Stress! Hello!”

Atop her castle, dressed in her signature magenta cardigan and flower crown, Stress waived at them with a smile on her face. Her hands were dirty, they noticed, as the smaller woman greeted them. She had been planting flowers and other types of foliage on the castle roof to give it more life. “Hi, everyone! What brings you all ‘ere?”

“We, uhm,” xB fumbled, clearly they hadn’t thought of a good excuse in the short time it took for them to walk from the portal to her base.

“J-Joe has been messing around with magic again–” Jevin interjected, saving xB from his mess of stuttering.

“Again?” Stress asked.

“Yeah, and we were just going around to see if one of the spells he was doing messed up anything over here.” The slime hybrid stuffed his hands back into the pocket of his hoodie. He felt bad for lying to Stress and for shoving Joe under the bus, but for the safety of the server, Jevin supposed the anomaly that was Joe Hills wouldn’t mind. After all, Joe was the one to suggest search parties in the first place.

Stress tapped her chin, “No, I don’t think there was anything weird going on…Oh, no, wait, there is one thing.”

The trio followed her to the bubbling pond Stress had built a while ago. Moss had taken hold on the rocks that lined the edge, some had been shoved aside they saw, and some of the lily pads had flowers budding beside them. “A bit ago, my pond was throwing up weird items, stuff like dirt, flowers, and arrows. I thought it was just mobs dying in there, but I still felt uneasy about it, so I told Xisuma. He was supposed to be doing an investigation on it but…”

“But what?” Cleo asked. There were footprints in the mud, she noticed, three to be exact. One was clearly Stress’s shoes, only her shoes had flowers on the bottom and the solidified mud beneath the still water proved it. Another pair of shoes was a good distance away from Stress’s, far enough that they weren’t right next to each other, but too far to look normal. Whose it was, Cleo couldn’t tell. Most of the hermits wore similar styles of shoes because they were both comfortable and affordable in the world hub. But it was the third pair of footprints that left Cleo confused. There were no prints of their shoes standing like the others, it was as if they spawned in the pond, and Stress and the mystery hermit dragged them to solid ground (which would explain why some of the rocks had been moved.)

But, why? How? It seemed like Cleo was getting more questions and answers during this expedition for answers.

“He and Grian had a lover's-quarrel so this isn’t exactly a priority for him right now,” Stress answered. “He said he’d do it, but I haven’t seen him for a bit. I just hope he’s okay.”

“We’ll talk to Keralis, maybe he could cheer him up,” xB smiled. “Thanks for telling us, Stress.”

“No problem.”

“Oh,” Jevin said. “Do you know if Iskall is in his base? We need to ask him too ‘cause he’s in the area.” Stress shrugged, she explained to them that she hadn’t seen him for a few days, chalking it up to him working on a farm or in one of the lower levels in his base. “No worries, just asking. Anyway, thanks Stress!”

Having decided that that was as much information they could get from Stress without being too pushy, they walked back the way they came until they found the dirt path that started their search. Cleo told them what she saw in the pond as Stress talked, feeling weird about the footprints in the mud and how Stress didn’t comment on it. Jevin had spoken up about the additions of structures around her base that weren’t exactly her style. A cobblestone tower just barely peaked over the tallest spire of Stress’s castle in the far back, with hardly any texturization or foliage on it. It was just the tower. A stark contrast to the woodland-fairy theme she had going.

“I sent a message to Wels about what Stress said and what you two saw,” xB closed his communicator and walked in the direction the map was taking them. “Hopefully it can be of use.”

“Of course, it’ll be of use,” Cleo said. “The pond thing doesn’t make sense! Stress and one other person walked into the pond to save someone–”

“Or something.”

“Thank you, Jevin.” The slime hybrid gave her a smile. “Or something and dragged it out because it was drowning or whatever.” Cleo sighed. “Whatever we find at the end of this path better give us answers because we’re finding nothing here.”

The tree line faded the closer they got to the mountain side and they had to squint as their eyes got used to the brightness of the sun again. Iskall’s base was just up ahead, the entrance carved into the mountain and stood out against the expanse of green leaves and gray stone, but just a few blocks away was the most inconspicuous entrance they had ever seen.

It was as if they had gotten Scar to do a hidden base beneath perfect terraforming, or Mumbo to do the most hidden redstone door. That is what they would’ve said if there wasn’t a birch sign with glowing red ink that read “Big Man Tommy’s Badass Secret Shrine.”

Jevin was the first to enter the hidden alcove. By being a slime hybrid, Jevin could deform himself and squeeze through any hole to escape any scenario, though he’d have no clothes or bones. xB would follow shortly after Jevin, he wasn’t the best fighter nor was he as good at escapism, but he was the one to relay the information they had gathered back to Wels, and the sooner he began investigating, the sooner they could leave. Cleo was the last to enter the area, making sure that no one was behind them or saw them go in, and if they did, she’d act as a distraction while the other two carried on their secret mission.

“Woah,” She said when the room opened up. It was humble, she thought. It wasn’t grand or shabby, the moss felt cool and the glow berries and candles gave the room a warm feeling. Small fountains pooled in the corners of the room and flowed toward the statue that greeted them in the back. “This is quite…pretty.”

“For sure,” Jevin sat on one of the benches in the room. He thumbed through one of the books that lay on the seat, it was handwritten and spoke about Prime and how to pray. “But who built it?”

“I think ‘Big Man Tommy,’” xB joked as he walked around.

“Whoever they were prayed to Lady Irene, that’s for sure,” Cleo read the book Jevin had. “Joe has so many books about deities and other cosmic figures like that. None of them say anything about a ‘Prime’ but there are a few about Irene, and this sounds like her. Albeit slightly different, but that’s expected.” She handed the book back to Jevin. “The same story doesn’t get told twice the same way.”

“Who is Irene, I’ve never heard of them,” Jevin cocked his head to the side as he stared at the quartz statue. “Are they, like, a server-only god or universe god?”

“She’s the goddess of life and fate, Jev,” Cleo answered. “At least that’s the most consensus, though many believe she also controls time, but…” She shrugged to say ‘I don’t know.’

“Why would people pray to her then? If she’s the goddess of life,” Jevin said. “Wouldn’t that be, like, wrong? Wouldn’t you pray to Lady Death or something?”

“You see, that’s what I thought at first, but Lady Death isn’t the one people should pray to,” Cleo answered. She sat on the bench beside Jevin, her gaze on the amateur sculpture of the goddess. “It’s Irene. Lady Death just takes you away to the afterlife, where you’re at peace, eternally, why wouldn’t you go? Irene’s the one who writes your fate, she’s the one who cuts someone’s life short and tells Death who to collect. Think about it.” She sat up on the bench, hands outstretched to help express her thoughts. “If someone you care for was dying, right, why ask the person that’s going to keep them happy for them to stay? You should ask the person that made them die in the first place, the person who wrote how, when, and why they should die.”

“Oh,” xB realized. “So, people would pray to her in the hopes that she’d change their fate, right?”

“Exactly,” Cleo said. “But judging by the prayers in the books, whoever this ‘Tommy’ is, has already accepted his fate and is just thanking Irene for putting the good in his life, the little amount there is.” She stood up and walked back to the entrance. “I think we got enough information, let’s head back and tell them what we found.”

**********************************************************************

This one was fun to write. I had been writing from the pro-Tommy side that writing the alternative perspective was like a breath of fresh air.

(it also let me fully flesh out Wel's motivation and all that jazz)

I hope you guys liked the chapter, feedback is greatly appreciated!!

Masterlist | Previous | Next

#hermit!tommy au #hermitcraft #dsmp fic #hc x dsmp #grian #watcher! grian #watcher!pearlescentmoon #hc xisuma #stressmonster101 #zombiecleo #xbcrafted #ijevin #hermitcraft tango #tangotek #welsknight

5 notes · View notes

salemoleander · 2 years ago

Text

This was inspired ages ago by a post from @briseise about rebel leader Impulse gifting Bdubs a clock, and rather than edit it for the 15th time I'm just going to post it + beg forgiveness on the rougher bits.

(This also spawned fics from Ren and Scar's perspective, which I'll be adding to this post bc they're concurrent.)

‐-----------------------------------------------------

Ren lounges at the head of the Square Table, having just read the Perimeter Empire’s Declaration of Independence aloud. His laughter booms, and he thumbs through the booklet as one clawed foot taps a nervous tempo under the table.

“Well, my noble dudes, it looks like the goatman has finally made his move.”

To Ren's right, Bdubs shifts in his seat. He has nodded emphatically and smiled along with every rambling word the king has said throughout the meeting.

He has absolutely not heard a word of it.

Under the table and inside a mossy pocket and clutched in his hand, so very safe and hidden, is a clock.

Earlier, Bdubs had walked into his quarters in the Crastle, and discovered a present boxed up and sitting on his bedside table. A small shulker box, dyed a beautiful mossy green and tied shut with golden wire. There hadn’t been a note, but a scrawled signature on the top of the box left no doubt that it was from Impulse.

When he’d opened it at first Bdubs had been… surprised? Not disappointed, not disappointed! That wouldn’t make sense at all, when his not-disappointment was that this clock was too beautiful, too delicate. It wouldn’t survive-

He’s not sure what it wouldn’t survive. (He knows exactly what it wouldn’t survive.)

Its gold shines and it ticks perfectly, and he feels terrible keeping it hidden from light in his cloak. He holds it like a fragile creature in his palm, mechanical pulse keeping time with his own.

A lull in the conversation draws his attention momentarily away from the barely-there feeling of each second ticking. Still, Bdubs doesn’t look up until someone kicks him under the table.

“Hey!” Bdubs yells, indignant.

He looks up, and his outburst is immediately doused as he realizes that almost everyone was already looking at him. Ah, a helpful kick, then.

Bdubs quickly appraises the table: Ren stares at him with an eyebrow raised. Cleo’s mouth is twitching in amusement, while Joe takes notes and draws geometric designs on his arm in the gaps of his lime green gloves. Scar, seated as far from the King as the table allows, is checking his communicator. (Bdubs tries not to be smug about that, then tries to decide which direction of that situation to even be smug about, and fails at both.) Iskall and Cub seem to be running a heavily modified version of Tic-Tac-Toe on a scrap of paper hidden from the King’s sight by the massive dragons-head hat.

Circling back to Cleo, Bdubs assumes that’s where the helpful kick came from. Probably. (Scar has long legs, and Bdubs is never sure when he’s really distracted, or pretend-distracted. And Cleo and Joe are both prone to dubiously helpful shin kicking.)

Skin prickling at all the direct attention, Bdubs sighs loudly and sweeps one hand up in a half-hearted gesture of surrender. “Alright, you caught ol’ Bdubs sleeping with my eyes open! So what! I’ve been up late working on- on Royal builds, and quests, and I’ve been missing my Zs.”

Cub and Scar laugh, and Cleo smiles, and he relaxes his grip slightly on the clock.

He turns to his left, waggling his eyebrows at the King. Normally the flattery came quick and easy, but that was because it was real. Sure, he likes to play up his obsequiousness, earn some laughs, but at the end of the day he’s loyal. He’s loyal, except that loyal hands of the king don’t hide gifts from their number one enemy under the table.

He sucks a breath between his teeth and tries to mimic his usual enthusiasm.

“Your Majesty, o illustrious King Ren… What was the question?” And Bdubs thinks he’s done a pretty good job, until-

“I asked, actually,” Cleo says from their spot across the table. She’s toying with half of a broken arrow, spinning and idly twirling it between her green-tinged fingers. Bdubs has a sense of vertigo watching her do this, adoration and fear welling up in concert with each turn of the arrow. He feels like he’s falling, breath coming shorter as some internal process hits an unexpected barrier and goes flying in a new direction.

Cleo is terrifying. She’s immediately the most important person in the room.

“Ah, of course, classic Bdubs mistake. What do you need?” He pauses for a moment, can’t resist tacking on- “Anything.” His heart sings, blood eager and ready to fall. Anything for the Crastle.

“Careful, Bdubs, wouldn’t want to seem overeager.” Her voice holds a note of warning, honesty cleverly wrapped in mocking. Cleo was a master of saying exactly what they meant, but using such a sardonic tone about it that everyone assumed they were joking.

Bdubs nods, frantic, but it must come off as comedic because Cub chuckles. He knows it doesn't fool Cleo, though.

Cleo’s eyes stay on him, one eyebrow imperiously raised and one chilly ankle knocking against his in reassurance, well-hidden under the table. That ankle stays throughout her request, and his response, and a good half the meeting after that.

He doesn’t know when he stopped, but Bdubs isn’t holding the clock anymore. It’s still there, tucked into a pocket, but the idea of holding it right now makes him nauseous.

#bdubs #impdubs #cledubs #hermitcraft fic #s9 #trafficshipping #hermitshipping #implied at least #altho im more interested in everyone being weird neurotic messes i will leave proper ship writing to the professionals #ren the king #3lsmp #salem tag #idk this is very rough but im so tired of it sitting in my edit stack

278 notes · View notes

ethtyn · 2 years ago

Text

i really enjoyed the hermit-inspired artifacts in tango's latest episode so i wanted to enshrine the clip on my blog 💖

a list of artifacts, their item descriptions, and the hermit they reference are under the cut!

[transcript] Tango: and now with the help of a little bit of music, i present to you: the artifacts of Decked Out 2! [end transcript]

[BDUBS] Pocket Watch of Shreeping: perfect sleeping every time.

[CUB] CF-135: let's GO!

[DOC] horn of the G.O.A.T.: grants untold knowledge of ancient, wondrous technologies.

[ETHO] The Slab: the one that started it all. accept no substitutes.

[FALSE] Goggles of Symmetry: grants deceptively overpowering combat prowess. also quite fashionable.

[GEM] Gem of Greatness: this gem truly is great.

[GRIAN] Multi-Grain Waffle: often misspelled. never duplicated.

[HYPNO] Hypnotic Bandana: gaze in wonder. it seems to look back at you.

[IMPULSE] Golden Eye: iMazing "i" iNscribed iNside.

[ISKALL] Bionic Eye of Doom: also omega. probably mega as well.

[JEVIN] Jar of Speedy Slime: drink to become an unkillable* speedster! *infinite totems not included.

[JOE] Tome of the Hills: an infinite source of transparent wisdom.

[KERALIS] Papa's Slippers: sweet faces to take you sweet places.

[MUMBO] The Hidden Stache: hidden inside you'll find an assortment of spoons and dapper upper lip hair.

[PEARL] Pearl of Cleansing: infused with strange alien powers, this pearl can keep anything clean.

[REN] Shades of the Dog: eye protection worthy of a king.

[TFC] An Old Friend's Pickaxe: worn down through years of use, this artifact will never be forgotten.

[SCAR] Death Loop: causes a neverending stream of comical deaths.

[STRESS] Wand of Gorgeousness: makes everything gorgeous. of course.

[TANGO] Mug of the Dungeon Master: drinking from this enlarged chalice is said to cause confusion, stuttering, and loss of perception.

[TANGO] The Skadoodler: a unique device capable of creating unlimited -ificators. most won't work.

[TANGO] The Master's Key: what could it possibly open?

[VINTAGEBEEF] Butcher's Apron: a bloody apron for the venerable gentleman.

[WELS] Knight's Helm: yep. it's knightly. well and good.

[XB] Hood of Aw'Yah: wearing this hood may cause uncontrollable giggling.

[XISUMA] Axe of the Screamin' Void: a legendary axe that never stops shredding.

[ZEDAPH] Staff of the Pink Shepherd: honestly...nobody really knows what this thing does.

[ZOMBIECLEO] Chisel of the Undead Sculptress: this macabre device bestows unlimited creativity and sarcasm to its wielder. mostly sarcasm.

#tangotek #tango tek #hermitblr #hermitcraft spoilers #.mp4 #vonswayenthusiast.mp4 #transcribed #i teared up so abruptly at tfc's artifact hooWEE #ik someone already did a photo post version of this but that's okay i just wanted the clip :]#popular? i know about popular.

185 notes · View notes

dying-acc-idk-man · 2 years ago

Note

dunno if this has been asked before but did Cub and Ariana tell anyone they were getting married/after they got married or did scar one day just see a ring on cub's hand while they were discussing rent

Grian, Scar, Mumbo, and Iskall found out in S8 that they were dating, while in S9 is when they found out they were married when she visited again, because Cub and Ariana weren't wearing their rings, but is hidden with their necklace :] They became aware when she kept calling him "Hubby Cubby"

#hermitshipping #cubriande #anonymous #ask

84 notes · View notes

cobblestoneore · 2 years ago

Text

Decked Out 2 Artifacts

So I made a list of all the artifacts for my own benefit to figure out who was who, and decided to add the descriptions and post them here. Let me know if I got any wrong, and also help on the two I don't know would be appreciated.

Edited: based off of people's replies I think I got the two I missed

Read more cause its long and so any wandering hermits don’t see them.

Artifacts:

Pocket Watch of Shreeping (Perfect sleeping every time.): Bdubs

CF-135 (Let's GO!): Cub

Horn of the G.O.A.T. (Grants untold knowledge of ancient, wondrous technologies): Doc

The Slab (The one that started it all. Accept no substitutes): Etho

Goggles of Symmetry (Grants deceptively overpowering combat prowess. Also quite fashionable.): False

Gem of Greatness (This gem truly is great.): Gem

Multi-Grain Waffle (Often misspelled. Never duplicated.): Grian

Hypnotic Bandana (Gaze in Wonder. It seems to look back at you.): Hypno

Golden Eye (iMazing "I" iNscribed iNside): Impulse

Bionic Eye of Doom (Also Omega. Probably Mega as well.): Iskall

Jar of Speedy Slime (Drink to become an unkillable speedster! *Infinite totems not included): Jevin

Tome of the Hills (An infinite source of transparent wisdom.): Joe hills

Papa's Slippers (Sweet faces to take you sweet places): Keralis

The Hidden Stache (Hidden inside you'll find an assortment of spoons and dapper upper lip hair.): Mumbo

Pearl of Cleansing (Infused with strange alien powers, this pearl can keep anything clean.): Pearl

Shades of the Dog (Eye protection worthy of a king.): Ren

An Old Friend's Pickaxe (Worn down through years of use, this artifact will never be forgotten.): TFC

Death Loop (Causes an neverending stream of comical deaths.): Scar

Wand of Gorgeousness (Makes everything gorgeous. Of course.): Stress

Mug of the Dungeon Master (Drinking from this enlarged chalice is said to cause confusion, stuttering, and loss of perception.): Tango

The Skadoodler (A unique device capable of creating unlimited -ificators. Most won't work.): Tango

The Master's Key (What could it possibly open?): Tango

Butcher's Apron (A bloody apron for the venerable gentleman.): Beef

Knight's Helm (Yep. It's knightly. Well and good.): Wels

Hood of Aw'Yah (Wearing this hood may cause uncontrollable giggling.): Xb

Axe of the Screamin' Void (A legendary axe that never stops shredding.): Xisuma

Staff of the Pink Shepherd (Honestly...Nobody really knows what this thing does.): Zedaph

Chisel of the Undead Sculptress (This macabre devise bestows unlimited creativity and sarcasm to its wielder. Mostly sarcasm.): Cleo

#hermitcraft #hermitcraft season 9 #decked out 2 #tangotek #decked out artifacts

57 notes · View notes

hermitcraftheadcanons · 3 years ago

Note

The hermits have a community kitchen, with more advanced appliances one can't just craft and instead have to be brought in from off-world. Several hermits half the whitelist has been banned from this kitchen for various reasons.

Impulse, in the vain hope he'll stop drinking so much coffee (it doesn't work).

Cleo, who mostly eats raw meat, and therefore either undercooks everything to the point it's a health hazard, or she'll forget it's there and you wind up with charcoal in the vague shape of your average steak (she never used it much anyway so she doesn't really care).

Iskall, for putting dangerous materials in the oven and causing toxic fumes (Iskallium).

Jevin, for putting dangerous materials in the oven and causing toxic fumes (in his defence it was unintentional).

Evil Xisuma, because every time he goes within a five-mile radius something explodes. Last time it was the blender. The time before that was the toaster (he got cursed by some demented minor kitchen god).

Bdubs, for stabbing Etho with a kitchen knife ("SHUT UP, I'M AVERAGE HEIGHT").

Jellie, for getting cat fur everywhere (she still gets in there, because she's a cat).

Doc, for using the refrigerator to break the laws of reality again (when mysterious colours unlike any seen on earth start showing up in your kitchen, it's time to remove the deranged scientist).

Mumbo, for accidentally blowing up a potato in the microwave (several times).

Tango, for intentionally blowing up a potato in the microwave (he nearly burned down the kitchen).

Hels, because he managed to set a salad on fire (he tried to fight said fire by setting it on fire because his default panic response is arson).

Cub, for somehow blowing up the oven so spectacularly the door managed to get lodged in the ceiling (nobody's sure how he did it. The hole is still there).

Etho, because he apparently knows how Cub did it and as such has been banned preemptively (Xisuma doesn't want to take any chances).

Zedaph, because he keeps thinking about if he could make bizarre recipes but never stops to consider whether or not he should (the popping candy mixed into the lasagne mince was the last straw).

There are so few people left on the allowed list at this point that the kitchen is a lot less crowded, at least. This can be a good thing or a bad thing, since it means that Hermits are often left alone or in pairs with a lot more space for shenanigans. For example, xB and Hypno are not banned from the kitchen! Their behaviour is exceptional! Every time Xisuma walks in there, the place is absolutely spotless, with the two of them standing facing the door with perfectly neutral expressions, definitely not exchanging any kind of glance that might indicate that something living or non-living (or post-living) is hidden under any one of the counters. Nothing whatsoever.

Although it drives him absolutely up the wall, X can't exactly ban someone for a not-glance, but one of these days...one of these days he's going to figure it out... hopefully before any more of their poor appliances takes another explosion.

- Mod Shade

#Hermitcraft #mod shade #I'm not tagging all of these fools

844 notes · View notes

ok-ish-hermitcraft-headcanons · 3 years ago

Note

Grian- Human(?), it’s debatable but until the other hermits can prove otherwise grian’s human

Mumbo Jumbo- Human, and the other hermits can actually confirm that this is the case

Doc- Creeper-Goat-Cyborg or is it Goat-Creeper-Cyborg?? nobody knows what came first, they just know that doc becoming a cyborg was last, is myotonic goat specifically

Bdubs- Moss-Phantom, ironically hates the night despite it being the only time he can’t get burned by the sun, doesn’t mind cause he or his friends carry around fire resistance potions

Xisuma- Human, just fuckin massive but not like that, he’s just a 7’6 dude who’s built like dooms guy, just some guy if u will

Wels- Sliverfish, the amount of times someone woke him up by trying to move the block he’s sleeping in or tried to move him thinking that he’s a block is outstanding

Zed- Jacob’s sheep hybrid, has 4 horns and none of them are the same size due to a birth defect, doesn’t mind cause he thinks it’s cool to have 4 horns <33

Tango- Angora goat hybrid, got curls for days, short as fuck tho and needs a step stool for a lot of things

TFC- Statue, what type of statue is still unknown

Cleo- Zombie ofc, possibly had a spell that made her unable to decay casted on her

Stress- Human, was later turned into an ice spirit and stayed as that

Xb- Pocket dimension, has so much stuff in him it’s insane

Ren- Newfoundland dog hybrid, furry fuck and is tall as shit, well maybe tall for the shorter ppl on the server—

False- Falcon avian, got v big wings but hates preening them

Iskall- Cyborg, can’t see out of his robotic eye all that much tho <<//33

Scar- Cat hybrid, cat ears are usually hidden under the hat but he doesn’t bother trying to hide his tail

Cub- Bear hybrid, has paws for hands :]]

Hypno- Rabbit hybrid, has a dewlap due to being FtM trans

Etho- Spider hybrid, some eyes are under the mask maybe :eyes:

Pearl- Black-Waved flannel moth, fluffy :]]

Beef- Ox, Big and Strong and good for hugs

Gem- Pudu deer, small, she’s even smaller than Bdubs and Tango

Jevin- Slime ofc, sticky :((

Joe- Human(?), debatable once again

Impulse- Saint bernard, Big and Fluffy and Lovable

Keralis- Peacock, pretty feathers :)), likes to show them off to close friends

pretty sure ive done all of the hermits ?? idk i can’t count

Why do I feel like I’ve gotten this exact ask before?

138 notes · View notes

impy96 · 3 years ago

Text

Secret Fools has been absolutely amazing and I’ve watched almost every perspective because it has brought me so much joy. And I have also made a list of all the pranks and who did what, below the cut for spoilers!!

Iskall ~~> Doc : Built a giant goat head (Garry) in the mountain beside his village which will dispense TNT every time Doc gets the favourite food riddle incorrect.

Doc ~~> Grian : Built a Ghast cannon hidden behind the copper wall around Mumbo’s base that was released after the press of a button.

Grian ~~> Impulse : Built matrix-style infinity quiz room where Impulse answered three questions correctly and then got blown up when he tried to mine his “winning” diamonds.

Impulse ~~> Cub : Built a miniature Ravager’s Run puzzle game where Cub has to hunt down GIGAPies(tm) and place them in item frames to escape, while being chased by a Ravager.

Cub ~~> Joe: Built the ghosts of Wordle’s past floating all around Joe’s base and left a creeper behind glass in the wordle wall underneath Joe’s base for him to face next time he tried to update it.

Joe ~~> Iskall : Rickrolled him by singing the pre-chorus and chorus of the hit song Never Gonna Give You Up but in Sweedish. (Prank assited by Keralis and Beef)

Cleo ~~> Stress : Built a “Hermitshire Tea” box in front of her teapot shop and filled dispensers with kelp renamed as tea leaves which shot out at the pull of a lever.

Stress ~~> Scar : Built a Cookie Monster with elf ears on top of his starter tree with a chest inside that was filled with cookies.

Scar ~~> Tango : Built Locked Out a Ravager’s Revenge as an homage to Tango’s Decked Out from Season 7, where Tango had to find three Scar heads and place them on item frames to escape.

Tango ~~> False : Stole her copper shop (False’s Beans) and moved it to the new shoping district, replacing it with lil Coppy, a copper golem who left a secret trail of copper behind for her to follow to discover what happened.

False ~~> Pearl : Built a UFO above her base with glass rings beaming down to abduct the creature. Also accidentally made it not spawnproof anymore lmao.

Pearl ~~> Jevin : (Not yet shown in Pearl’s video) Update Pearl was in fact the culprit! Built a big slimy pig above Jevin’s starter base with chickens dangling from it that were all named Dinnerbone.

Jevin ~~> Cleo : Built a noise machine under Cleo’s ruins to bait her into flipping a lever, which released a charged creeper to kill her.

xBCrafted ~~> Keralis : Redesigned his house to look like Keralis’ face and made a treasure room in the mouth. When Keralis opened the chest the walls behind him closed and some harmless TNT went off below his feet to scare him.

Keralis ~~> xB : Built a giant octopus on top of his starter base and a ring falling challenge from world height, which led to a trapped bullseye that blew xB up upon landing.

#hermitcraft #hermitcraft season 9 #hc s9 #hermitblr #secret fools #masterlist #what an absolute joy #i really hope they make this an annual tradition

72 notes · View notes

shadeswift99 · 4 years ago

Text

Ranking Hermits based on how much I want to fight them

Because it's 1:08am and I've consumed enough sugar to fear neither man nor god

(this is all in good fun and all in the context of Minecraft of course, I do not want to go to anybody's real life house and punch them that's illegal)

Zedaph: Yes I could probably easily beat him but emotionally? Think of the cost. Devastating. 4/10

Tango: Outcome unclear. I think I could take him in an organized duel but otherwise he seems like he would use his environment to his advantage too well and also fight dirty. 6/10 I'm probably going to end up in lava but at least I can say I tried

Impulse: He doesn't want to fight me but if I choose to start something he could probably mess me up. The pain of getting my ass handed to me would only be surpassed by the pain of knowing it's entirely my fault. 2/10 I don't want to hear the Disappointed Voice he would use to tell me off

Grian: No. NO. Not in any setting under any circumstances. The last time I underestimated a short kid with nothing to lose in a fight I wholeheartedly regretted it, -100/10 short people are to be feared and respected

Iskall: Hm. He is obviously going to beat me up, no question, but I might be able to earn his respect by putting up a good enough fight beforehand. He'll certainly end up laughing at me but 6/10 I'll give it my best shot

Mumbo: I am going to snap this British suit dork in half like a goddamn twig, I am so ready, let me at him I'm going to crack him like a glowstick. 100/10

Cleo: Regardless of whether she could beat me, I have no motivation to fight her. She is already dead so there's not much point. I'll give her 5/10 though because I feel like she might bring a cutlass and being killed by a zombie with a pirate sword would absolutely slap

Joe: I could probably kill Joe but by god he is going to make me feel so bad about my decision to do so. Before he takes his last breath I will probably be having at least seventeen philosophical and moral crises at once. 2/10 I could fight him if I had to but I'd probably end up with him as my therapist afterwards

Jevin: The gloop and the splorch and the squelch would be phenomenal, 11/10 all my stress would be relieved by punching Jev

Wels: Very hard shell. -2/10

Xisuma: I have no real motivation to fight Xisuma, except that it would probably be very fun. Also if I could land a real hit on the guy who wears body armour 24/7 that would be an achievement I could be proud of. 6/10

Bdubs: Call an ambulance now. "But not for me?" you ask? No, it is for me. This man is filled with barely suppressed rage and hidden knives, he would shred me like a cat playing will a roll of toilet paper. -11/10, at least it would be funny though.

Doc: I would not want to fight Doc at all, except that I know the act of not fighting him would cause him to be smug about it, which would light in me a burning need to knock his lights right the fuck out. 11/10 I'm probably going to get clotheslined by a metal arm but I'm going down swinging

Cub: His initial non-fightability makes me nervous. Why is he like that. Why doesn't he want me to fight him. What is he trying to hide. 5/10 I'm not sure if I'm supposed to fight him or not but whichever one I choose it feels wrong

Scar: Hmm... I do not want to fight Scar but I do want to beat up a member of government. 8/10 but only if he's wearing the Mayor outfit and I get to break the monocle

Stress: I would like to fight Stress just to see what she does. There's a 4/5 chance she'll run away but a 1/5 chance she'll do something absolutely unhinged and ruthless (probably involving dogs or potions), and I want to roll the dice and see what I get. 4/10 because I don't think I could actually hurt her if it came to that

False: She is going to take me to pieces in less than five seconds and I will thank her. 10/10 I would be grateful for the privilege

Ren: If I try to fight him he will probably change into his wrestling suit and I do not want to be anywhere near that, 2/10

Etho: Makes me very nervous, too unpredictable. However if I do make the mistake of fighting him he will probably kill me in a fun and creative way. 3/10

Keralis: They always say to go for the eyes, and there's just so much eyes to go for! Endless opportunities, 10/10

#i can't remember any other Hermits and it is now 1:47 am so o/#take whatever the hell this post is and go be entertained or something idk #edit: i woke up to find this in my drafts and I only vaguely remember writing it #amazing #hermitcraft #shade rambles #tw violence #long post

759 notes · View notes

glitchedmagic · 1 year ago

Text

Decked Out Egg Update 9/27/23

Bdubs - Haybale - Found by Cub - Level 1 north wing behind powdered snow

Cub - ??

Doc - Smoker - Found by Pearl* - Level 2 hidden passage by the lake

False - ??

Golden Egg - ??

Scar - ??

Grian - ??

Hypno - Block of Bamboo - Found by Hypno - Level 2 underwater passage from the lake

Jevin - Ancient Debris - Found by Hypno - Level 2 dripstone cave

Impulse - ??

Iskall - Endstone - Found by Pearl - Level 1 north wing secret button passage

Joe - Blackstone - Found by Hypno - Level 2 above wither rose parkour

Pearl - ??

Stress - Pink Glazed Terracotta - Found by Scar - Level 1 south wing tunnels behind powdered snow

Beef - Nether Quartz Ore - Found by Pearl* - Level 2 passage off the lake by dripleaf parkour

Wels - ??

xB - ??

Xisuma - ??

Zedaph - Pink Wool - Found by Hypno - Level 1 in ice crack room behind powdered snow

Cleo - ??

Total: 9/20

Names link to the video in which the egg was found

* Indicates egg was found on stream and not released on YouTube as of posting

There are 3 confirmed eggs still hidden on level 1

#thanks to impulse's stream for the egg update #i normally watch pearl's runs on youtube when she posts it so im glad i was updated about the egg situation #also tango update: as of monday the level 4 redstone has not been started #but considering there are eggs hidden on level 3 #i think we still have a few weeks before they're all found #hermitcraft #decked out #decked out egg update #its really hard to describe where these eggs are.... especially the ones around the lake

4 notes · View notes

redorich · 4 years ago

Note

Hey what if the Hermits got to see Tommy’s version of war. Someone mentions going to war but it’s the friendly hermit kind of war. Tommy while he seems calm is internally panicking. He grinds just like Techno in the neather. No one sees him for three days and then he grabs a few people on his side and says, “It’s finally done come on- well not totally done but good enough to show.” And he leads them to a far off hidden base with chests of top tier armor, golden apples, over a dozen full stacks of tnt and one full stack of wither skulls. Tommy even shoves a sharpness 3, burning, looting, and unbreaking sword into Grain’s arms while talking battle plans -🐍

The thing is, Impulse thinks, none of this is impressive to him. Well, relatively. Tommy's eyes shine at the elaborate secret base he's built, but he doesn't even have a redstone door. It's just a block in the ground that he mines up and replaces every time he wants to get in and out. There's enchanted netherite armor for everyone, and yeah, the stuff's not easy to get, but Cub has a whole room in his pyramid made of ancient debris. Impulse knows that Iskall has an insane gold farm, so golden apples come cheap. The very specific eleven and one half stacks of TNT are pocket change to Impulse, who regularly steals from Tango’s creeper farm. The damn thing’s so efficient that Tango doesn’t even notice. Impulse himself has a wither skeleton farm so efficient that he sells beacons for dirt cheap.

But here’s the thing.

Tommy doesn’t have a wither skeleton farm. He has no creeper farm, no gold farm, nothing. Every farm he has is small scale, so early game that most of the hermits barely bother with them: a wheat farm, a pit with some cows in it, an afk fish farm. (Tommy doesn’t even know that fish farms are out of fashion, now that 1.16 has nerfed them.)

For Tommy, what he has is the pinnacle of grinding. He’s spent days preparing for war. He comes from a poor server, everyone is aware but is too nice to say. He hoards shulker boxes like they’re 12 bamboo, hides anything he doesn’t want stolen in his ender chest even though he trusts the hermits now. How long has it taken him to accumulate this much? How much time did he spend mining away in the Nether, all alone save for his determination? How many times did he die to a creeper trying to collect its gunpowder? How long has he spent underground, mining away at gold ore?

It scares Impulse. Tommy’s a motivated person, yes, but this level of material preparation? It makes Impulse think that Tommy doesn’t quite understand what the hermits mean by war. Impulse looks at the young man, really looks at him. His coat is even more raggedy, meticulously stitched back together. His body language betrays the exuberance in his voice; the boy is dead on his feet. If Impulse were to remove Tommy’s smiley mask, he knows he’d see deep-set bags under Tommy’s eyes. Impulse thinks that Tommy is so tired he might just let Impulse do it.

Tommy understands war a little too well. He is familiar with it, has personally danced with the devil in a way that few hermits have. Impulse puts his hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Tommy,” he says softly, “I don’t think we have the same idea of what war is.”

Tommy tilts his head in silent confusion.

“Don’t get me wrong, this is all very impressive,” Impulse sighs, gesturing to all the accumulated weaponry, “but Hermitcraft doesn’t do war like that. No one’s going to be in danger.”

“But it’s a war?? Danger’s kinda-- it’s kind of a requirement, innit?”

Impulse tries a different tactic. “Remember when you were new here, and you explained to us what a ‘canon death’ is? And how Xisuma told you that you’re always allowed to respawn?”

Tommy nods warily, so Impulse continues. “So if we’re always allowed to respawn, why would we kill each other?”

“Is... Is Hermitcraft war about suffering, then? If you can’t kill your opponent, then you make them suffer while they’re alive, right?”

Impulse is horrified. As soon as he’s done with Tommy, he’s going straight to Zedaph’s base for a hug and possibly booze. What the actual fuck, Tommy is so young! And he genuinely believes that the hermits would... Tommy must have been a child during whatever war he’d seen, participated in! Is he even an adult now? Is he still a kid?

Impulse has been silent for too long; Tommy can sense he’s said something wrong. He doesn’t correct it, though. Xisuma rolled back the server to give him his compass back once, after he died in lava. Xisuma will do it again if Impulse kills him.

“Hermitcraft war isn’t real war, Tommy,” Impulse says softly. “It’s not about hurting other people. It’s about winning. It’s about having fun. We solve our wars through minigames, and PvP matches, and pranks, and IOUs. We’re all friends here.”

“I don’t understand.” Tommy’s reverting back to the quiet, contemplative young man that he was when he first showed up, the man they know now that he is not. Impulse has to stop this before it gets worse.

“We call it war, but it’s just a competition. I appreciate the amount of effort you put into trying to protect us, but we were never in danger.”

The masked young man says nothing, but sits down on the floor heavily. Impulse sits down with him.

“Hey, it’s okay. Let me tell you a funny story from the Hermitcraft Civil War of season six...”

It’ll be okay. It has to be.

#mcyt #hc x dsmp #hermit!tommy au #hermit!tommyinnit #tommyinnit #impulsesv #tango tek #iskall #iskall85 #xisumavoid #xisuma #cubfan135 #me.cpp

1K notes · View notes