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ten-thousand-paper-wasps · 6 years ago

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“Have faith,” the old man said, “and you can never be broken.”

It sounded weirdly specific and more than a little cheesy, but since the old priest was letting them stay the night in his church and wasn’t asking questions, Falk wasn’t about to complain.

Falk and their traveling companions had shown up the night before, on the verge of collapse, covered in blood and glowing runes. Their skin tingled with the wild, electric magic and the blood was burning in, stinking up the room. Nells sat in the corner, cleaning his whip and humming, while Morrin and Zakurr worked on a meal.

Owlsby had been left behind in the forest. He was getting big enough now that they couldn’t take him into town, not if they wanted to get out alive. He could fend for himself, and they’d pick him up in the morning. It was hardly his fault he was the size of a dog and quicker than a shadow. Regular spiders didn’t get that big. It was too clear he was a beastling from the Deep. People didn’t like those things. Falk didn’t like those things. Owlsby was terrifying and if they brought him into town they’d all be burned as witches.

And he was only going to get bigger. Nells was going to have to figure out how to feed his pet monster before he started getting ideas of his own.

“Have faith,” they chuckled to themselves. Morrin was the one who believed that nonsense. Faith was a pretty thought. But it didn’t fill bellies or keep you warm in winter, and Falk knew where their priorities lay.

“Have faith,” laughed Nells in the hot zeal of battle. “You think we cannot survive this?”

“Ha!” barked Zakurr. “Perhaps it is the faith that you will survive that causes Falk such distress!”

Nells danced away from a trio of blades, whirling, twirling, catching the goblin’s wrist in his whip and dragging it close. Zakurr took the opening and swung his axe-hammer down, crushing its skull. It was pure glee on his lips to fight righteously with his comrades, to protect the people that were his. His faith was in the strength of his body and the quickness of his friends. It was unshakable.

“Have faith in us, dear heart,” said Morrin, when they stood at the edge of the cliffs, looking out. “We won’t let that demon be the end of you. We won’t, I swear it.”

Falk let Morrin take their hand in hers, turning it over and squeezing it. Have faith. “I’m scared,” they admitted. “I feel it consuming me, taking me apart and shredding my soul. You’ll have to put me down.” There were hot tears in their eyes that threatened to spill over. Falk let them.

“We won’t do that,” Morrin shushed. “We’re a family, you and us, and we won’t let you die. Have you faith?”

Falk had no faith, but they didn’t say it.

Zakurr cleaved through goblin after goblin, hurling his axe-hammer with abandon. Arms as big as mead barrels and legs like tree trunks made the orc a more than formidable opponent. He was deadly. He was family and he was theirs.

“Have faith, sweetling,” he grunted. There was no need; if Falk had faith in anything, it was Zakurr’s tenacity and might. He would get them through this mountain in safety. Falk could trust him to do so.

The goblin war king let loose his battle cry, and the hordes fell on them like jackals. Zakurr fought with all his strength, be he was one against thousands. Nells and Owlsby were liquid, weaving around eachother, slaying goblins left and right. Morrin was throwing spells as fast as she could. It wasn’t enough. It would be minutes, at best, before the goblins killed them all. Falk had to do something. The didn’t have enough magic to keep everyone alive.

But they could get enough magic. Their little family didn’t like when Falk did it, but saving them was saving them, no matter the cost.

“Do I have your faith?” Falk asked of them. They pulled Zakurr down and claimed his lips, just a moment, a breath, a beat, and felt the magic respond. Zakurr’s strength sung in their body, his stamina, his pride. Falk would need all of it to survive this.

“Have faith!” shouted Nells, and brought their mouths crashing together. On him, Falk tasted boundless energy, wily as the sea, quick as lightning. Falk tasted Owlsby’s relentless hunger just behind it, a dark lust to see every goblin under the mountain dead and butchered. They felt their teeth get just a bite sharper.

They turned to Morrin, their closest friend. The one that swore to follow them to the end of the earth, the end of everything, because home wasn’t worth going back to if Falk wasn’t beside her.

“Morrin,” they begged, voice heavy with need, fingers sparking and crackling with unspent power. “I crave a boon of you.”

Morrin looked back, sad and tired, knowing what Falk was asking, knowing she would give it but loathing that Falk would kiss her for power, for sex, but never love, never sentiment, never softness. She fixed them with a scowl. “I give it freely,” she said, broken and desperate and alone.

When they kissed, Morrin gave them love. She gave love and gentleness and the ruthlessness to do what churned their insides but had to be done. She gave hope and power and magic. She gave faith.

Falk gathered all of it within themselves, balling it up and shaping it. They let it surge through their fingertips into a spell devastating enough to end twenty thousand goblins. To save four people and an unnecessarily large spider. To protect this family.

They felt the power dancing through them. With Zakurr’s might and pride and strength, they called lightning and fire and brought it before them. With Owlsby’s hunger and Nells’ fierceness and the cunning of the two together, Falk brought a heavy psionic weight to flatten and crush all who would threaten the people they called home. They took Morrin’s love, her hope and her softness, and drew a circle of protection to keep them safe. They felt the demon welling up inside them and grabbed it by the throat and channeled its power into the spell.

Falk held it inside for a beat longer, and then let it out. A wave of roiling, crackling heat shot out, burning and electrocuting every goblin it touched. They slammed their hands on the stone floor and crushed them into pulpy, fetid liquid. The war king and his forces were dead. Falk took Morrin’s faith, her greatest strength, and brought the mountain down.

Falk poured everything they had into keeping their family alive, keeping them safe, keeping them from getting crushed by the mountain. Falk gave until they had nothing left to hold them up, nothing to keep back the demon inside. Falk gave until there was nothing left but the faith in their family, and then Falk knew no more.

They woke to darkness, to the underside of a great beast. Owlsby. Nells gripped their hands in his sleep. Zakurr kept watch. Morrin was nowhere to be found. They shifted their leg, startling the elf awake.

“Falk?”

Falk tried to speak, but could only manage a wet gurgle. How long had they been out? Was Morrin dead? When did Owlsby get so huge?

“BABE!” he shouted, and Zakurr hurtled to his side.

“You’ve come back to us, sweetling,” he murmured. “Are you thirsty?” he asked, offering his waterskin. Falk took it, making small, slow sips.

“What happened after we killed all those goblins?” they asked.

“The mountain crumbled,” said Zakurr. “We all survived,” he said, at Falk’s look of panic. “Morrin and I ran to the closest town for medicine, while Nells and that ungainly monster stayed in the forests and kept you safe.”

“You didn’t take me to town with you?”

“Falk, look at yourself,” Nells said, sternly. “You used too much power. Your glamours fell. You know what humans are like, when they see something they don’t understand.”

Falk looked down. Sallow, ridged, grey-green skin. Claws on their fingers. They felt their face and found long ears and sharp, curved horns. Their gold eyes went wide and without thinking they flicked a long, narrow tongue into the air, tasting it for predators.

Humans would have gutted them in an instant. “You saw me,” they said, instead of dwelling. “You saw this. You weren’t. Weren’t supposed to.”

Zakurr picked up on the naked fear in Falk’s eyes. “We did,” he said. “We saw that our sweetling brought down a mountain to keep us safe. And you put so much into it that you exhausted yourself. There was nothing left. Even your demon burned away. You did that to keep your family safe.”

“And family stays together,” Nells finished. “It’s been two years, we’ve had time to get used to how ugly you are. Get over it. Have some soup.”

Two years was a long time. Owlsby was unreasonably huge. The jagged cut in Nells’ back was an old scar. Zakurr had broken his nose again. “Where’s Morrin?”

Zakurr looked uncomfortable. “She needed time. To think. Be by herself a while, you know. We passed an old church in a swamp up north, I reckon she hasn’t left.”

“Can we see her?”

“Sure,” said Nells. “We can ride over on Owlsby. I’ll plan the route in the morning.”

And Falk had faith. And if faith could move mountains, it could do anything. Families stayed together.

Faith can move mountains. And truly she does, mostly to confuse humans though.

#the beastmaster series #my writing #the wasp writes #falk lives au #i actually only saw half the prompt before i started writing and that was enough #so it's not totally on prompt #but i like how it turned out anyway #the found family trope is my life #and hey would you look at that i wrote something uplifting for once #i've expanded #i did this in three hours while i had a window installed #no betas we die like men

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enhyupn · 4 years ago

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⧉ enhypen as your classmate that has a crush on you! ᝢ ∷

pairings: ot7 enhypen members x gn!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of violence in jay’s one

genre: pure fluff + high school!au

a/n this also. Was in my drafts 💭 i was contemplating if i should post this or not but here i am 😫 i Post too much sorry everyone iJust have no life outside of school 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

⌗ heeseung

heeseung is definitely the type of person that tries to talk to the person he sits beside all the time

he nudges you all the time and whispers your name whenever he wants your attention

and the fact he had a huge crush on you also added to it

enhypen always have to listen to him since he never ever stops talking about you. like ever.

“oh my god you will never know what y/n told me when i—” and suddenly he’s cut off by the rest of them yelling “we know!”

you never snap at him because you kinda... enjoy the attention

maybe thats how you knew you kinda liked him too, since you could never let sunoo get away with this if he ever called for your name in class

your relationship only stopped there for a while, since the two of you lowkey scared of each other

“no i feel like y/n’s gonna snap at you one day, like completely just punch you in the face” jay once told him and ever since, he’s never looked at you the same

you think heeseung’s just intimidating, the amount of times you’ve jumped in your seat whenever he’s called your name is numerous

although, one day you fell asleep in class due to the fact you left your english essay last minute the night before

heeseung, noticing you drooling on the table, wrote down the notes for you

he handed them to you after class and you were so touched that you couldn’t stop telling sunoo about it

“his hand writing’s so neat and—” “i get it, you can shut up now!”

you even told heeseung his hand writing was the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen for a week straight

he was happy of course, but honestly unsure how he was supposed to reply to the compliment

he figured out by himself that all he needed to do was ask you if you wanted him to write your name

“heeseung, i mean it! i can’t get over how you write ‘the’, it’s just so— so neat!” “oh really? let me write your name out”

being the smooth guy that he was, wrote down his number instead of your name

and you being the oblivious person you were, ended up being utterly confused

“heeseung i think—” “I WROTE MY NUMBER ON PURPOSE”

you never really got over the shock, nonetheless still took his number and texted him that night

you ended that night by kicking your feet in the air with your face feeling like it was on fire

oh, you also ended up planning a date with heeseung on saturday, not a big deal

it was actually the biggest deal ever

the rest of the head canons are under the cut!

⌗ jay

jay was 100% the type to tease someone when he had a crush to get their attention

he wanted all your attention and the way he got that was through telling you your portrait of a dog looked stupid

well yeah, it did but he didn’t need to point it out

everyone in your art class knew jay had a raging crush on you

he just didn’t know how to express it

his friend jake told him the way into your heart was talking about a mutual interest

jake was, sort of, right about his advice. well, until you and jay started bickering about a character you loved but he oh so hated

“mabel in gravity falls was annoying and weird” “jay if you say that one more time i will shove this paint brush down your throat”

jake, who was trying to play cupid, could not understand why he was so bad at this

i mean jay had no problem getting girls to like him but you? did you genuinely hate jay or something?

“no jake i don’t hate jay” well that answered his question

“he’s just weird” “weird? i’m weird?” “yeah do i need to repeat it again? park jay is weird” you two were a match made in heaven

jay didn’t know when but he had a revelation, maybe this wasn’t the approach he should take to get your attention

after that, he started to be extremely nice to you

it definitely scared you

“d-did i do anything?” “what no? i’m just saying your painting looks beautiful y/n” “oh no something’s definitely going to happen”

he was finally tired of trying so hard while ending up with nothing achieved

jake, being the one out of the two who had the most realistic ideas, decided to give him one more tip

“do you think it’ll work?” “it’s fool proof”

the tip was simply him asking you out to the movies, something that was a little too forward for jay

“no i don’t think it’ll work jake” “jay i swear to god you are going to end up single For the Rest of your Life”

it took... many attempts... and many insults towards you for him to even get the first line out

“Y/NPLEASEGOTOTHEMOVIESWITHME” “the movies? sure” “wait, really? i meant it in a romantic way by the way” “oh? sure i’m free on friday”

turns out you were into him too i mean it was kinda obvious from the way you dealt with those insults

even when you started dating after that date, the insults never stopped

it just now targeted jake, who really is just asking for it at this point from the amount of times he’s asked for credit for ‘getting both of you together’

he was never getting that credit

⌗ jake

jake would leave secret love letters in your locker every time he walked past it

i mean the action wasn’t as secret as he thought it was due to the fact you knew he was the one leaving those letters

for god’s sake the boy was literally in almost all your classes, you were walking the same way as him when he slipped those letters in???

you still were very grateful for them

without them, i think you would of not coped with school

they were all incredibly detailed and even had little doodles drawn around them

you once had remembered he mentioned that he wrote these in the morning before school started during first period

he also told you he was really really shy you found it incredibly cute

the only way he could speak to you without melting was through these letters

somehow you decided that the best thing to do was put replies in his lockers too

his first reaction was complete embarrassment, the fact you knew who he was had his face heating up like nothing else

but he soon realised you didn’t think it was weird or creepy, you actually looked forward to his letters every school day

he mustered up so much courage after that to talk to you in person, to personally thank you

“THANK YOU Y/N!” “NO IT’S FINE JAKE YOU DON’T HAVE TO BOW”

he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck before pulling something out from his back pocket

the final letter in his series of love letters showing up in his hands

“open it” his shy smile making your brain Melt in endearment

the letter contained the usual, the hello y/n! and the usual chatter about his day

what you didn’t expect was the fact he had asked you out at the bottom of the letter

“y/n i’ve liked you for a while now, will you go out with me?” you read out loud before realising what you had just read. “OH MY GOD YOU ASKED ME OUT?”

you pull him into a tight hug, something that jake heated up at

“is this a yes?” “are you seriously asking that right now? of course we are”

you two became the most sickly sweet couple ever

plus the fact you still placed letters in each other’s lockers made enhypen gag (in an affectionate way)

they were just jealous nobody was putting letters in their lockers

⌗ sunghoon

sunghoon always seemed to be there whenever you needed help

especially since you two helped out at the library together every wednesday

he looked forward to it every week, you could tell from the fact ever tuesday he’d remind his friends that the next day he was seeing you again

“tomorrow’s wednesday you know what that means” “yes sunghoon we know, you’re seeing y/n tomorrow”

whenever he’s finished his work (which he does at an incredibly fast pace) he always seems to end up trailing you

constantly asking if you need help, desperate to do something

you find it endearing, always ending up chuckling at his whiney words

“y/n! do you need any help i’m finished” “not at the moment but if you wanna chat i can!”

out of all the enhypen members i feel like sunghoon would have the softest feelings for his crush

like even outside of your assigned library work, he’d constantly check up on you during lunch

“here y/n! it’s a packet of those gummies you like” “how sweet that you remembered! thanks for them”

you, even with sunghoon’s constant affection, couldn’t realise he had a crush on you

you thought that he was like that with everyone, you didn’t think that you were particularly special to get any type of unique treatment from park sunghoon

it wasn’t until your classmate asked you if you and sunghoon were dating

“hey are you and sunghoon dating?” “ummmm no why” “oh my friend wanted to know, they like him that’s why”

that didn’t sit well with you.

you thought long and hard about it but there was literally no reason for you to be bothered about it

i mean? you didn’t like him like that right

wrong

you decided to ask his dearest friend heeseung for help

“heeseung what do i do why do i feel like this” “i don’t know ask sunghoon” “...you aren’t helping”

heeseung being the big blabber mouth he is, told sunghoon all of this

“y/n won’t shut up about you” “really? you’re telling me the truth right? please don’t lie to me”

from many many uplifting comments from his friends, sunghoon was able to talk to you without mentioning the library

“so... what did you do in art class today?” “oh? i don’t do art” i mean at least he tried

after a few attempts he finally hit the nail on the head, securing his place as one of your friend... not the position he was aiming for but at least it was something

that’s when he prepared himself for the final boss (that’s what heeseung called the plan)

interrupting the conversation you both had on what disney show was the best, he popped the big question

“no but mulan was pretty good too also do you wanna go on a date with me” “oh sure! that was really random though”

i mean his timing was incredibly terrible but you were over the moon

even with the calm messages the both of you had sent, the two of you were screaming at your screen, unable to contain any composure

i mean it’s sunghoon... even if he handed you a piece of trash to as his way of asking you out you’d still say yes

⌗ sunoo

no but sunoo definitely asks your friend what your favourite song is and puts it on his story so you can slide up and be like “omg!! i love this song”

OH he also texts you randomly at 11:11 and 22:22 so you think it’s a sign

he so so so desperately wants your attention all the time

he goes up to you at lunch even when you’re with all your friends and makes conversation with you making you forget all about your friends

he sits in front of you in maths! so he knows how bad you are at the subject, he can hear your muttering about how you got a question wrong every morning but don’t Worry! he finds it adorable for some reason

at first he started to pretend he wouldn’t understand a question so he could find a way to talk to you

“hey y/n! what’s six times five again” “are you serious?”

he’s actually kinda good at maths so you’re always confused on how he doesn’t understand basic multiplication but can get 90% on the algebra test

he loves, and i mean loves, talking to you during class

even if the teacher scolds him he doesn’t care, it’s simply the highlight of his day

he gets so pouty and jealous when you excuse him in the middle of a conversation to talk to someone else

he gets jealous especially whenever you talk to his friends instead of him

“hey ni-ki! what did you get for number five?” “oh i got—” “I GOT TWELVE FOR THAT ONE Y/N!”

you kinda adore it not gonna lie

at one point your teacher got incredibly fed up with you two talking class

so! sunoo resorted to passing notes to you

‘y/n did you hear? oh my god, jihan from the maths class beside us told me that yeojin from the year above us got suspended because she started fighting the teacher over her phone. can you believe that? i mean i would of done the same thing’

it was quite clear sunoo talked a lot even through notes too

i mean as if you didn’t reply with the same energy

‘I HEARD THAT TOO!! gowon from her class told me, plus! intak said he saw the whole thing too... omg honestly i think yeojin’s so cool for doing that. maybe i should fight our maths teacher if they try and yell at us for talking again?’

they were one of the many things sunoo loves you for <3

one day ni-ki, being the number one shipper of you two, decides to play Cupid on the two of you

he drew out a note that looked too similarly to a middle school confession text and placed it on sunoo’s desk

“do you like me y/n... tick one. yes. no.” “do you like it?” “what the fuck is this”

i mean sunoo Took it anyways, he knew you’d find it funny too

as usual, you prepared yourself for a long class of sliding notes to each other

you looked forward to it, you found it as a source of entertainment and you liked talking to sunoo anyways

“pssst, y/n!” “thanks— wait did you give me the right one?”

after many whisper shouts and glares from your teacher, he finally convinced you that they were the real deal

obviously. You chose yes

that’s how you landed a date with sunoo to a picnic at han river

sunoo and you were. Kinda.... thankful for ni-ki

you two just never wanted to admit his stupid cupid-ry worked

⌗ jungwon

definitely the type to ask you “what homework did we get?” so he can start a conversation with you

replies to your private story with like “omg that’s so funny” or like “PLSSSSS me too”

you do exactly the same with his ps honestly

he always talks to you before class and you have heated discussions about the homework the night before

YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS end up sitting beside him in every class you have together

like it’s not even on purpose anymore (it’s actually fate)

always lends you pens and pencils when you forget them

he also never Asks for them back so you Have like a stash of them at home beside your bed because you always forget to give them back to him

you and jungwon are the kids in pe class that walk around the track gossiping

“jake told me that half of the soccer team aren’t getting along these days because they all like the same person” “no way really? what about their team work, isn’t there some sort of huge match next week?”

the gossip only stays between you two but only ever during pe

you two talk about more, interesting things outside of pe

since you two are in basically every class together, you walk with him everywhere

once when you were about to trip over, jungwon caught you and when you realised you were in his arms, you just blankly stared at him for a good five seconds

once you got off of him your face started to heat up so fast jungwon’s too

every time you have homework due and you didn’t do it he lends you his word

“y/n take this! it’s the french homework from last class” “thanks so much jungwon!”

the real story starts with when you and him were practicing speaking french in the library

you, being terrible at french, needed some sort of help with this

jungwon decided that, even though he completely sucks at french, he should tutor you!

and there you were, ten reasons why i hate you style, in the library struggling on how to pronounce beaucoup

“bow-cewp” “good job y/n!” “jungwon i know for a fact that you don’t know if i’m saying this right”

you stuck up with it because, well because he’s jungwon

“je t'aime you”

i mean you were Terrible. at french but even the stupidest person in the world could figure that out

“i like you too jungwon, now help me with question six” “YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THAT?” “i had a paris phase when i was younger of course i did”

turns out the Parisian style bakery across the street is the perfect date on an afternoon after school

what was even more perfect was that you got 85% on your test with the help of your boyfriend

⌗ ni-ki

he was your partner in cookery class, the both of you had no cooking skills in your bones but you still made it work

you were in the class since your family constantly nagged at you for being terrible in the kitchen

while ni-ki enrolled because he needed the something to show his friends after school

ni-ki thinks he fell for you at first sight

you were baking cookies as your first task and you basically saved him by reminding him to put on oven gloves before getting the cookies out

“that’s the bare minimum” jay tells him. “i don’t care... you wouldn’t know what love feels like”

he looks forward to cooking class because if you every week

he even has it scheduled on his calendar

honestly it’s kind of a miracle the food you two make is some sort of eatable

he always asks you for help even if it’s the simplest thing ever

“y/n? which one is a cup?” “the one that literally says one cup?”

you don’t care though since you think it’s cute

you always end up doing most of the cooking and chopping whil ni-ki just washes the dishes and watches the pot boil which eagerly waits for the food to finish

you’ve met all of enhypen before since ni-ki likes them to gather around your creations and take pictures of them together

when enhypen first collected him from cookery class, they asked him which one of your classmates were you

he literally shyly pointed at you as he hid his face with his hair

“them” “huh? ni-ki who are you pointing at” “them, beside the fridge”

your final exam was to decorate and bake a cake

it’s safe to say from the many burnt cakes you and ni-ki have done, you two were in trouble

you both wanted that passing grade so you practiced almost everyday after classes the week before

he was in charge of the icing, apparently according to him it was his specialty

“look y/n!” “how cute! a little unreadable but very cute”

finally. the Day of the exam came

you both had to prepare and bake the cake together under two hours

you were lucky that you both weighed the ingredients before you arrived

it was definitely. The most stressful two hours you two had ever felt

it also didn’t help that ni-ki shooed you away when he was icing the cake

by the end of it, your face was Dusted with flour while ni-ki’s apron had butter and frosting stains all over it

you were instructed by ni-ki and even your teacher, to stand where the fridge was, out of your sight to see what he was doing to the cake

you were hazily scrolling through your phone when jungwon snapped you back into reality

turns out jungwon was outside the room the whole exam because ni-ki told him he needed support and having him there comforted him

almost instantly after your jungwon interaction, ni-ki called you from your table, excitedly waving his arms in the air

“y/n! y/n! i’m finished!” “perfect! let me—”

your eyes widened realising his cake didn’t say anything like ‘happy birthday’ like you two had planned

instead the icing spelt out a prettily written out ‘y/n, will you go on a date with me?’

your eyes seemed to water at the gesture, unsure why you got so emotional at icing

“n-ni-ki... that’s so c-cute” “why are you crying? oh my god you hate me don’t you?”

it took you ten minutes to stop sobbing (happy tears) and you gladly accepted his proposal

so now you got a Good grade and an amazing boyfriend that can... sort of! Cook

while eating the cake you were reminded with something, remembering some words from earlier

wait did mr lee know about this?

#enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen timestamps #enhypen drabbles #enhypen x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop x reader

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onlyfreds · 4 years ago

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I Told You to Behave | F.W.

Title: I Told You to Behave

Requested: Yes/No

Summary: We all know that Fred has trouble behaving

A/N: A huge thank you to Holly for sending me the prompt that inspired this fic! I had so much fun writing this and I hope that I did this justice.

As soon as I wrote down the concluding sentence of my essay, I threw my quill on the table as I leaned back on my chair, breathing a sigh of relief.

I then heard a small knock on the dorm room door, thinking it was one of my roommates I immediately answered, “Come in!”

But, instead of Angelina or Katie or Alicia, the person who came in was none other than my handsome, lovable, sweet, caring (and did I mention handsome?) boyfriend, Frederick Gideon Weasley.

I smiled, my mood immediately being uplifted, while I lazily pushed my chair away from the table, standing up and walking over to him as I wrapped my arms around his torso and breathed in his scent.

“Hey darling.” He cooed with a small smile, combing his fingers through my hair.

“What have you been up to?” He asked.

I looked up at him, “Just finished that 12-foot essay for Transfiguration.”

“How about you?” I then asked, “What brings you here?”

He raised a brow, “What brings you here? She asks. I missed you. Isn’t that obvious? Why else would I be here?”

I shrugged, giving him a small smile, “Dunno, maybe you need something from me?”

Fred gasped as he placed a hand over his heart, feigning offence, “How could accuse me of such a deed?! Honestly woman, you call yourself my girlfriend.”

I laughed, pressing a small kiss on his lips, “I’m just joking love. Besides, I know how clingy you could be.”

“Hey!” He protested, “You’re clingier.”

I stuck his tongue out at him, “Am not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“Am not.”

Fred rolled his eyes, knowing that I wouldn’t back down because of how stubborn I could get. He crashed our lips together, causing me to stumble back slightly from the force of the kiss.

He sunk his teeth on my bottom lip, nibbling it gently, causing me to moan softly against his mouth.

He placed a hand at the back of my head while I rested my hands on his chest. While he deepened the kiss we slowly walked backwards until my back hit the wall.

The two of us pulled apart, breathless and the temperature of the room rising up by a few degrees.

I looked up at him, feeling my cheeks being painted a tint of pink, “Is that your way of telling me to shut up?”

He grinned sheepishly, “Maybe?”

I giggled, “Then maybe you should shut me up more often.”

Fred smirked, leaning closer that I could practically feel his breath fanning over my face, “What if I shut you up now?”

I bit my lip, feigning innocence, “What’s stopping you?”

My boyfriend was about to reconnect our lips, when a knock on the door caused him to jump slightly.

“Oi Fred!” The familiar voice of his twin could be heard from the other side of the door, “Are you in there?”

Fred muttered something about wrong timing as he answered, “I’m kinda busy at the moment.”

“Well, now’s not the time to be making babies.” His twin retorted, “This product needs your immediate attention. Emphasis on immediate.”

“Why don’t attend to it?” Fred asked, rolling his eyes.

“I have a date with Angelina you oaf! Now, stop your baby-making, get your arse here and fix this.”

“Fine.” Fred huffed as he opened the door and took the box from George.

I sat down on the edge of my bed while Fred sat down on the floor and starting to figure out what was wrong.

“So much for the mood.” I said with a small laugh, moving to sit down in front of him.

“This fever fudge has been on trial for weeks.” He groaned, looking over the ingredients of the product again.

“What’s wrong with it?” I asked, resting my chin on the open palm of my hand.

He frustratingly ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier, “It malfunctions. Once you eat it, your temperature will rise up to 40 degrees. Then within mere minutes it’ll go back down to your normal temperature even without the cure.”

I reached out my hand, “Can I see the list?”

He nodded, handing me the piece of parchment as I read over the messy, but thankfully eligible, handwriting.

“That’s why.” I muttered once I’ve finished reading the whole list.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Fred asked as I handed it back to him.

“You’re missing an ingredient.” I explained, “That’s why it malfunctions.”

“What ingredient?” He asked.

I shrugged, “Just a mandrake leaf. Though, I’ve run out of stock. I’ll go ask Hermione if she has some.”

We then started making the potion again, now all we needed was the mandrake leaf.

I walked towards the door and before leaving to Hermione’s dorm, I warned my boyfriend, “Whatever you do. Don’t add anything else to the potion. You behave until I get back with the mandrake leaf.”

Fred nodded, giving a mock salute, “Yes Ma’am!”

I playfully rolled my eyes at him before shutting the door behind me.

(Fred’s POV)

As soon as the door closed, I looked back down at the parchment in my hand, double checking the whole process to make sure that we did it right.

I took a glance at the bubbling potion that was sitting in the cauldron, that’s strange. If I wasn’t mistaken the potion had to be orange, not purple.

I went over the list again and thought that we’ve must’ve added a little less unicorn horn powder than required

Unscrewing the jar, I was about to add a dash of the powder when I stopped in my tracks remembered what my girlfriend told me.

“Whatever you do. Don’t add anything else to the potion. You behave until I get back with the mandrake leaf.”

I hesitated, the ladle hovering above the cauldron.

She did say that I should wait for her, but I’m pretty sure that nothing will go wrong if I just add a dash, right?

Right?

I sighed, quickly tipping over the ladle, watching the powder drop into the potion.

I waited a minute, but nothing seemed to happen.

At that moment, I realized that I should’ve listened.

Fireworks started to explode from the potion, bouncing off the walls and knocking stuff over.

Once the fireworks disappeared, the room was a mess. I mean a literal mess.

Before I could think of a solution to make it look like that nothing happened, I saw the door knob turn.

She was back. I was dead.

(Reader’s POV)

“Thanks Hermione!” I called after the girl as she headed down to Ron and Harry.

I then opened the door to my dorm, only to see a wreck in front of me and my boyfriend with the look of a guilty puppy.

“What in the name of Godric Gryffindor happened here Freddie?” I asked, staring at him agape.

He gave a shy smile, “I may have added a dash of unicorn horn powder to the potion.”

I glared at him as I took out my wand and waved it, the room cleaning itself up, “What did I say?”

He seemed to cower a bit, “You told me to behave.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, “And what did you do?”

Fred gave a small, innocent smile, “The exact opposite.”

I sighed, suddenly remembering my Transfiguration essay and rushing immediately towards the table. I let out a sigh of relief, seeing that the essay was perfectly fine. I tucked it away in my bag before any damage could be made.

I was aware of Fred staring at me with big doe eyes, silently begging me to forgive him.

I gave him the silent treatment, fixing up the rest of the stuff until the room was back to its natural glory.

I suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist, breathing in Fred’s scent as he rested his cheek on my shoulder, his hair tickling my ear.

I looked at him, once again seeing those big doe eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He said, almost in a whisper, “I should’ve listened to you.”

I licked my lips, “You’re lucky the essay I worked on for three hours didn’t get ruined.”

Fred’s eyes lighted up, “Do you forgive me?”

I playfully rolled my eyes at him, “I’m talking to you now, aren’t I?”

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to my cheek, “See? You can’t stay mad at me for long?”

I raised a brow at him, “You want to test that theory out?”

His eyes widened, shaking his head vigorously, “No thanks.”

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝:

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kyber-queen · 4 years ago

Text

of silver and steel (wolffe x f!reader regency AU)

Summary: Reader is a mercenary hired to protect Duke!Wolffe without his knowledge. Shenanigans ensue.

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: One (1) innuendo, mentions of weapons, an exorbitant amount of pride and prejudice-esque Female Gaze

Author’s Note: Hey guys! I wrote this MONTHS ago and found it sitting in my files and thought I'd just post it so I don't forget about it again. Lmk if you'd be interested in me writing any more of this!

***

Your reflection stared back at you from your vanity mirror. Your face was painted in the fashion of the time—cheeks flushed coral and lips stained a Persian rose-red. You smiled to yourself, smoothing your hands over your bodice—it was a deep forest green, with a bold golden line down the center. It was your personal favorite, and it would serve your purposes well that evening. One gloved hand lifted elegantly from your form to hover over the objects adorning your vanity. You settled over an elaborate golden-hilted dagger. You tested its weight in your hand before guiding its tip to the rim of your bodice, sliding the weapon into the pre-stitched gap in the fabric. Only the hilt remained visible, but against the golden embroidery, it appeared altogether unrecognizable as a dagger, taking the form of an ornate golden cross emblazoned across your chest. You hummed in approval.

You were to be attending a gala tonight, with the proceeds benefitting the construction of a second dormitory within the orphanage in the capitol, Coruscant. It was sure to be a rather raucous event—the more rambunctious of the younger nobility had accepted the invitation—but your mind was far from drinking and gallivanting. You were there for one explicit purpose: to protect the Duke. The Duke did not know this, of course. From what you had heard, Duke Wolffe Fett was a rather imposing figure, and this combined with his military service made him rather vehemently opposed to the notion that he was unable to protect himself. His brothers had solicited your services as a mercenary in secret after the Duke had experienced three separate attempts on his life, all of which he had managed to fend off on his own.

Your mission was quite straightforward—make the Duke’s acquaintance, and remain nearby should trouble arise. Nerves prickled at the tips of your fingers. While quite comfortable with a blade in your hand, you were much less well-versed in these hierarchical social scenarios. Your eyes flicked back up to your reflection in the mirror, your gaze centering in on the cross adorning your bodice. Your gloved fingertips dragged across the textured surface of the dagger hilt. You looked the part of the elaborately dressed nobility; all you needed to do now was match their mannerisms.

***

The ballroom hummed with energy. Conversation and music flowed freely through the air, the Ladies in their best gowns and the Lords in their sharply pressed suits intermingling in small groups. Wolffe strolled from cluster to cluster, making his necessary introductions but never remaining in one group too long. He preferred to remain on the fringes—he was here for the benefit of the orphanage only. The hedonistic tendencies of his contemporaries at these supposedly charitable gatherings often disagreed with his more refined sensibilities. Wolffe had hoped he could escape the evening without engaging in the drunken small talk he so despised, but an old family ally beckoning him forward was a clear indication otherwise.

Wolffe now stood stiffly amongst a small circle of aristocrats, his features set firmly as he made tense conversation. The socialites were already quite inebriated, and the donation ledger had long been forgotten in favor of partaking of the complimentary spirits.

Wolffe cleared his throat.

“Sir Roger, have you yet had the opportunity to tour the orphans’ asylum in Coruscant?”

The man looked at Wolffe incredulously.

“Why in the blazes would I do that?”

Wolffe’s eyes narrowed. The man, obviously too taken by liquor to remember his station, placed a casual hand on Wolffe’s shoulder.

“You must have learned by now, my good man, that events like these,” The man gestured to the throngs of aristocrats conversing in clusters about the ballroom, “Are merely a justification for drinking and merriment,”. The man punctuated his sentence with a particularly loud hiccup.

Repulsed by the man’s uncouth behavor, Wolffe took a step back. The man’s hand fell from his shoulder. Wolffe opened his mouth to respond, but the smooth lilt of your voice drew his attention.

“Perhaps, Sir, were you not so unfeeling toward the plight of the needy you would see the larger purpose of events like these,” you quoted. The man stepped back, stunned, effectively making room for your presence.

Wolffe turned to you, his eyes catching yours for a moment before turning back to the aristocrat.

“I find myself in agreement with the Lady. This ‘justification for drinking and merriment’ will provide the funds to house at least a hundred needy children,” Wolffe’s lip wrinkled slightly in disgust, and the man fell entirely silent. “Good day, Sir,”.

The man turned to make his exit, leaving you alone with the Duke. He watched the drunkard stumble away, shaking his head slightly before fixing his intense gaze on you. Before he could say a word, you extended a snifter of brandy in his direction. He accepted the drink, tilting his head slightly at the gesture.

“I’m glad we can agree, Sir…” You trailed off your sentence, waiting for the Duke to fill in the blank.

“Duke Wolffe Fett,” He offered.

You widened your eyes in feigned surprise.

“Your Grace,” You murmured, dropping into a curtsy.

You rose, and when you met his eyes you noticed his eyebrow was raised slightly. He was one of the highest-ranking noblemen in Coruscant—had you presented yourself as too oblivious?

The Duke sipped his drink as you reeled for something to say.

“It’s unusual for a man of your status to have such high regard for personal involvement in charitable contribution,”.

Wolffe glanced up from his drink, pausing to look you over.

“Is there a question in there or are you merely observing?”

His tone was difficult to read—you assumed this was an invitation to inquire more directly.

“Why exactly does a young Duke such as yourself harbor so much respect for the common people?”

Wolffe hummed.

“It is my duty as a ruler to defend and uplift my people. There is no honor in wasting away your days indulging in mindless drink and frivolity,”.

You nodded in assent, falling into what you hoped was a pleasant silence.

The Duke seemed content to stand wordlessly at your side, and you understood that the less you spoke the less of an opportunity you had to make a faux pas. Your eyes darted about the room—having made your introduction your mind now focused entirely on detecting any plausible threats. You glanced over to his brothers, Boost and Sinker. They appeared engaged in conversation, and you quickly turned your attention elsewhere. A man stepped in front of the string quartet, clinking his glass. You feigned attention, scanning the crowd as pieces of the man’s speech filtered in and out of audibility.

“…And with that, let the dancing begin!”

Wolffe rolled his eyes, taking another swig of his drink

You watched as several ladies scurried to the floor, eager to partner with the gentlemen that had made their way to the open space in the center of the room. You watched closely as the many pairs began to twirl in rhythm with the string quartet. It was more crowded on the dance floor—here, on the fringes, the Duke was exposed. Keeping him hidden and occupied among the many dancers would complicate the efforts of any potential assassins. Was it within a lady’s right to ask the Duke to dance?

“Sir, would you grant me the pleasure of accompanying me on the dance floor?”

Wolffe’s head whipped to your direction—he seemed tense. You glanced over your shoulder, wondering whether he had spotted someone behind you. Neglecting to observe the presence of any potential assailant, you turned back to the Duke and affixed him with your most charming smile.

“As you wish, my Lady,”.

He offered his elbow, and you placed your gloved hand over his lightly. You strolled in tandem to the dance floor, and at the next pause in music, you each took your place across from each other in the line of dancers. Your eyes locked on his. One of his eyes was golden-brown, gleaming in the candlelit ballroom. The other seemed to be tinted white, with a long vertical scar reaching from just above his brow to the apple of his cheek. He was quite handsome, you noted. His gaze was intense, never seeming to leave your face, even as you pressed your gloved palm against his to begin the dance. His hand was quite large, and you felt its heat through the thin silk of your glove. Your breath stuttered as he brought his other hand to your waist. He gripped you firmly, each individual fingertip making its presence known as they pressed into your bodice. You inhaled, bringing your attention back to the task at hand.

You placed your other hand at his upper arm. He wordlessly lifted your hand to his shoulder, his eyebrow quirking slightly as he began to lead you through the dance. You felt your cheeks grow warm.

The music grew livelier, and the Duke shifted both his hands to your waist. His thumb pressed against the dagger concealed in your bodice as he lifted you into the air. The metal pressed, cool and foreboding, into your stomach. You masked your shocked gasp with a breathless giggle as your feet once again contacted the ground.

You stumbled, stepping to the right instead of the left. The Duke’s hand dug into your waist, pulling you sharply to the correct direction, and by coincidence, closer into his chest. He was warm. You offered a quiet ‘thank you’ at his correction, and he nodded stiffly. You felt the flexion and tension of his shoulder muscles under your palm. He was strong, you noted. This combined with his previous corrections caused your cheeks to heat even more than you thought possible. Focus on the mission. The music ceased, and before you could speak, his hand was gripping your forearm and he was dragging you off the dance floor.

You made eye contact with Sinker and Boost, the latter giving you an inquisitive look as Wolffe led you away from the ballroom. You turned your wild gaze back to the Duke. His fingers tightened around your forearm, gripping you hard enough to leave a bruise. He led you down a hallway, flinging open the first door he saw and roughly pulling you inside.

“Sir, I—”

He yanked you around so your back flattened against his chest. One hand gripped your upper arm while the other splayed across your midriff, pressing down uncomfortably. Pressing the flat edge of your dagger into your stomach. He knew.

His voice rumbled from deep within his chest, his breath hot against the junction between your shoulder and your neck.

“I value candor quite highly—why exactly are you here?”

Your breath hitched, and the pressure on your abdomen increased. You remembered Boost and Sinker’s words—he mustn’t know of your arrangement.

“I don’t know what you mean, Sir, I—” You squirmed against his iron grasp as he cut you off.

“You are no actress, my Lady,”.

You cursed yourself silently. You had been so focused on securing the Duke’s safety you had forgotten to ensure your own. Your hand flew to the hilt of the dagger against your chest, but the Duke’s hand on your upper arm caught your wrist with almost inhuman speed.

“What are you here for? To kill me?” His voice was a snarl.

Adrenaline flooded through your veins, your heart racing.

You drove your heel into his insole, using his shock to wrench yourself from his grasp. You drew your dagger from your bodice with your free hand, your other wrist still encircled within his grip. You gasped for breath, instinctively preparing for a fight. As your mind caught up with your body, you recognized your position and lowered your dagger. Your agreement to secrecy wasn’t worth a life.

“To protect you,” you panted.

Wolffe scoffed, his intense glare centered on your face.

“Your brothers hired me—Sinker and Boost. Said there had been attempts on your life, that they wanted me to look after you,”.

Your eyes searched his, praying that he would believe you. The Duke was a fearsome opponent—if this escalated further, you couldn’t guarantee either of you would walk away injury-free.

The door flew open, Boost and Sinker stumbling into the room.

“Are you both alright? What happened?”

Wolffe’s shoulders fell, and his grip on your wrist loosened. Your hand dropped from his grasp. Recognizing that the situation had been diffused, you reinserted the dagger into your bodice.

“A slight misunderstanding on my part,” Wolffe offered to his brothers before turning to you, “I apologize, my Lady,”. He bowed slightly before offering you his arm.

His gaze rose from the floor to your eyes and he looked at you expectantly. You cocked your head, content to let him stew for a moment. The man did drag you by the wrist across the entire ballroom, after all. His eyes narrowed. You returned his intense gaze before smiling slightly when an unrecognizable emotion flashed across his features, pleased that you had managed to get under his skin.

You took his arm tentatively, and he led you back out to the ballroom.

***

Two weeks had passed since your attendance at the charity gala. Boost and Sinker, though initially concerned by the events of the evening, had maintained that you remain in the area should they require your services once more. Your payment from that night would cover your stay at the local inn twelve times over. The town was quaint—its center held a tavern, a church, a few scattered shops, as well as the inn at which you were staying. You had inquired as to where the Duke’s residence was on your second day in town, finding out from the barkeep that his estate lay a few miles from the town outskirts.

The barkeep had said it was a lovely piece of property. He himself had not had the pleasure of visiting, but he had heard tales of its rolling green hills, lush forests, and the clear brook that bubbled just on the edge of the terrain. While you acknowledged the appeal of the property, your mind was much more entranced by its rather solemn proprietor. Your admittedly dull days were spent deep in thought, poring over your final interactions before the evening had ended.

Wolffe led you back into the ballroom, back to the deserted corner in which you two had been conversing before you had suggested some dancing to lighten the mood.

He motioned to a table with his head, pulling out a chair for you to sit in before taking a seat himself.

His eyes, intense and intoxicating, seemed to bore right through your soul. It was unsettling, yet something about his gaze resonated deep within your chest. Your cheeks flushed, against your will. You took another cursory glance about the room, ensuring that no suspicious figures had made themselves known.

“So, you’re a mercenary?”

Your eyes flashed back to the Duke, a slight smile creeping across your face. You nodded.

“I trained with a well-respected swordsman for quite a few years. Took a few odd jobs here and there as a sellsword, but my ‘unusual’ position made me much more suited for espionage. People rarely notice an extra woman in the household—makes it easier to slip in, do what needs to be done, and slip out,”.

Wolffe’s gaze lingered on your face.

“I find it hard to believe that no one would notice you,”

You snorted, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair. The Duke raised an eyebrow in response. Your behavior could hardly be described as refined—despite your earlier attempts—yet something about your casual air drew Wolffe in more than he’d like to admit.

“Tonight was a one-off. Typically, I’m much more discreet,”.

Wolffe shook his head with a barely-there smile.

“Oh, I’m sure,”.

A knock at the door of your room drew you from your recollections. You grabbed the handle of your dagger from the nightstand before peeking into the door’s spyhole. A courier stood, impatiently shifting from foot to foot, with a letter in hand. You opened the door.

“From Duke Fett,” the courier spoke, before darting off to deliver his next letter. Ensuring that no one had followed the boy to the inn, you closed the door behind you and tore open the letter.

It had been closed by an elaborate red wax seal, and you rolled your eyes before dropping the envelope to the ground. Typical nobility.

You scanned the letter quickly, noting the elegant handwriting marking the page while pacing the floor. It was a dinner invitation. You gulped.

Your experience with the nation’s nobility was admittedly quite limited, and you dreaded making yet another grave social error. Still, the Duke intrigued you, and anything was better than holing up in this godforsaken inn for yet another evening. You searched for your quill to pen a reply, but on a second reading of the letter, you noticed that the author had made no mention of an RSVP. The Duke had simply stated his wish for your presence at dinner. You assumed that he was not a man used to the denial of such wishes. You placed your quill back into its case, and readied a gown for the evening ahead.

***

A carriage was at your door three hours later. You took one last glance in the mirror—your gown was a deep blue, with a concealed pocket hidden within its skirt. Your dagger rested comfortably against your hip. You turned away from your reflection to meet the footman at the door. He helped you into the carriage before taking his seat at its front. You watched as the town slowly faded from view, little buildings being replaced by the moor surrounding the town. Low-lying shrubbery and taller grasses swayed in the wind, flashes of purple and green arraying the tawny scenery. You spotted a swatch of trees in the distance. The barkeep had mentioned something about a forest, right? That must be the edge of the Duke’s estate.

The carriage rumbled along the road, until the well-kept path grew over with the same grasses blanketing the moor. You furrowed your brow. Were you in the right place? Your hand travelled to the dagger at your hip. One could never be too careful, you reasoned.

The carriage stopped abruptly, nearly shaking you from your seat. Before you stood a large iron gate, flanked on both sides by tall evergreens. The footman stepped off the carriage to open the gate, its doors swinging open to reveal a wide cobblestone path. The horses’ hooves clacked rhythmically against the stone. Your eyes traced the path, following it to where it met its end and widening at what you saw.

Fett Manor was, quite simply, breathtaking. Dark grey stone, blanketed in ivy, rose up tall from the well-maintained gardens. Candles flickered in the many windows, giving the manor a gentle glow as it imposed upon the dusk-reddened sky. The carriage stopped at the crest of the U-shaped drive. You looked out at the tall oak doors, tentatively stepping out of the carriage and refusing the footman’s aid.

You marched up the front steps, tapping your knuckles gently at the door. You glanced over your shoulder at the footman, and to your surprise, he was already gone. The clacking of the horses’ hooves was still audible—the footman must have headed back to the livery stable.

The large doors swung open smoothly, and you were greeted by the sight of a kind-faced elderly woman. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun, and her simple dress indicated that she was part of the staff. You offered a gentle smile.

You introduced yourself, dropping into a deep curtsy. The woman gave a small chuckle.

“There’s no need for that, dearie. I’m just the housekeeper,”.

Your cheeks heated as you rose from your curtsy.

The woman motioned for you to enter. You stepped inside tentatively, observing the high ceiling and grand staircase. The floors and stairs were solid and wooden, and the décor was elegant if not a bit dated. The manor seemed to walk the line between homey and formal. In your time as a mercenary, you had learned that a person’s surroundings could tell you much about their character. What did this tell you about the Duke?

“This way,” the woman spoke, leading you through the great room and into the dining room.

Boost and Sinker were already seated at the long oaken able, grinning when they saw you enter.

“Good evening, gentlemen,”.

The formality seemed to drip from your tone. Were you alone, you might have laughed at the pretense.

They offered you a greeting in response, before diving into the meat of the conversation.

“My lady, before our brother arrives, we have to ask you something,” Boost stated.

“Ask away,” you smiled.

“I’m sure the inn is quite nice, but would you consider staying at the estate? Just last week, the gardener spotted someone attempting to enter the premises through the back gate. Wolffe dealt with em’, but he’s been on edge, lately. Might do him good to know he’s not the only one on the lookout all the time,”.

Sinker exchanged a look with his brother.

Fett’s estate was certainly preferable to your rather cramped room at the inn, and if nothing else, you could spend your days wandering the moors instead of your one-room apartment.

“I accept,”.

“Accept what?”

You spun in your seat to face the Duke. He rolled his overcoat off his shoulders and took a seat at the head of the table, directly opposite you.

“We have a new houseguest, Wolffe,” Sinker grinned.

Wolffe glanced incredulously at Boost, as if to check whether or not he had heard his brother correctly. Boost shrugged as Wolffe settled into his seat at the head of the table.

“She’s gonna stay in one of the spare rooms so she can keep an eye out for you—maybe you can get some real sleep for once,” Boost said with a grin.

Wolffe nodded slowly.

“Alright,” he turned to address the housekeeper, who stood patiently in the doorway. “Mrs. Nu, would you mind preparing a room for our guest?”

The woman nodded swiftly before exiting the room with a twirl of her skirt, leaving you alone with the Duke and his two brothers.

“So you’re an assassin, right? Does that mean you always carry a weapon—”

The Duke cleared his throat rather loudly, interrupting Sinker’s stream of questions.

“Was your stay in town pleasant, my lady?”

You nodded.

“Very much so, your grace. I’d like to thank you for your invitation to dinner this evening, as well,”.

A sommelier materialized from behind you, filling your glass half-full with a dark red liquid.

“Mulberry wine,” Boost clarified. “The cook makes it himself in the summertime,”.

You uttered a quiet ‘thank you’ to the sommelier before taking a sip. It was sweet, the flavor of summer-ripened berries fresh and warm on your tongue. You set the glass back down on the sturdy oak table, taking a moment to admire its fine craftsmanship. Your eyes flicked back up to the Duke, whose gaze met yours as he raised his own glass to his lips. His accented voice cut the silence.

“Did you find time to visit the bookseller while in town? I’m told he has a new translation of The Odyssey in stock,”.

You shook your head.

“I’m afraid I didn’t. Are you quite partial to Homer’s works, sir?”

“I am, my lady,”.

You grinned.

“I myself prefer Virgil, but I cannot cast blame on your respect for the Blind Poet,”.

Wolffe hummed in approval as your eyes darted over to his brothers, who had been watching your exchange with increasing interest. Sinker cleared his throat.

“Are you fond of riding, my lady? I’m sure the Duke would be pleased to have you accompany him," Sinker paused, blinked, and in an instant turned as red as the Manor's garden roses. "--on his journey into town, that is. You could collect your belongings from the inn, as well,”.

Boost snorted as Wolffe choked on his drink. Your eyes widened as you absorbed what you hoped was an accidental innuendo. Your face rivaled Sinker’s in redness. Your mind reeled for a response, hoping to smooth over the embarrassment.

“I—I do have some experience on horseback. I’d like to visit the bookseller—if the Duke doesn’t mind the company, of course,”.

Your gaze traveled back to the Duke’s face.

“I’d be much delighted, my lady,”.

You smiled lightly. It was settled.

***

Your first night spent in Fett Manor was nothing if not memorable. After a rich dinner rife with conversation, you had been lead by Mrs. Nu to one of the most luxurious rooms you had seen in your life. A silk nightdress rested across the fine linen bedspread.

“I figured it would be more comfortable to sleep in than your corset, dearie,” Mrs. Nu had said.

Comfortable had been an understatement. You woke up late in the morning feeling more well-rested than you had been in years.

You tugged the down comforter up to your chin and extended your legs under the covers with a sigh. Light filtered in through the window, covering the room in a golden haze. You needed to get up.

You flipped back the covers with an exaggerated sigh, your bare feet meeting the cold wooden floor. You scooped up your gown, which you had rested carefully on a rather stately chair in the corner of the room. Your fingers coasted over the hem of your nightdress—you made a mental note to thank Mrs. Nu for lending it to you.

Once you had redonned your significantly less comfortable gown, you opened the door to your room and strolled down the spiral staircase to the great room.

The house felt surprisingly empty—a glance at the clock told you it was later than you had previously thought. Still, unease prickled at your spine. You peeked around the corner into the kitchen—it was empty, save for a plate of scones that had been left out from breakfast. You took one in your hand, biting into it as you continued your search.

A clang from outside the manor caught your attention. You hastily made your way to the side door, flinging it open with one hand as your other curled around the dagger in your dress. Your scone fell to the floor, forgotten.

Your lips parted in astonishment. The door had opened to reveal the Duke, with an elaborate silver spear in hand. His broad chest rose up and down as he spun the weapon with surprising speed and grace for a man of his size. Your eyes traced the strong lines of his arms, following all the way down to where his hands wrapped tightly around the spear. You drew in a sharp breath.

The Duke turned abruptly, lowering the weapon as recognition crossed his features.

“I apologize for the interruption, your grace,” you stuttered out, sheathing your dagger back into your skirt.

“It’s alright, my lady,” Wolffe assured. He rested the spear against the garden wall. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you,”. Your eyes danced back over to the spear. “An unconventional choice of weapon,” you noted.

The Duke’s eyes followed your gaze over to the spear before locking back on your face.

“I am a man of unconventional tastes,” he replied.

You nodded politely. He intrigued you––his skill with a weapon was undeniable. You had assumed you’d be able to hold your own against him in a fight before, but his use of the spear certainly changed the game. You made up your mind to review defensive tactics against spears once you returned from the bookseller. Wolffe posed no iminent danger to you, but he did present himself as a rather attractive sparring partner. You grinned slightly.

Wolffe turned back around to his spear, wiping off the point and grip with a silk cloth before making his way to the door. You followed, nearly tripping over a rosebush as your skirt caught on its thorns. His hand came to your shoulder instinctively. You inhaled sharply.

“I—I’ll have the stable boy ready the horses,” he murmured. He left your side in a swirl of disturbed air, the slam of the door to his study cutting through the morning silence. You huffed. You supposed his abruptness was typical for his demeanor and not a reaction to some perceived slight against him. At least you’d have time to eat.

You plucked another scone from the kitchen counter. You strolled over to the window near the wash basin, looking out the window to examine the property. Just behind the glass lay the garden where the Duke had practiced his spear-wielding. Further on, you saw a well-manicured lawn, and even further––at the base of the hill––trees sprung up at the lawn’s border. The forest stretched as far as you could see, though in between the thick evergreen branches you were certain you spied a glimpse of running water. That must have been the brook the barkeep had talked about.

Satisfied with your cursory examination of the terrain, you turned back around to face the kitchen, leaning comfortably against the countertop. To your left was an array of fine china, and to your right sat a full shelf of exotic spices. You meandered over to the spice rack, selecting a small jar of saffron and allowing the weight of the glass to roll across your palm. That small jar was worth as much as three weeks of your income. Despite the luxury he lived in, you knew the Duke was far from selfish. After the charity gala, you had examined the donor breakdown. Wolffe had contributed enough to singlehandedly sustain the orphanage for at least a year. Your brows furrowed. Typically, you were quick to figure out these old-money types, but the Duke seemed to be a conundrum. He was quiet, but made use of the words he spoke. Intelligent, with a military background—you suspected that was how he obtained his scar. He was wealthy, but if he didn’t give so much to charity, he’d surely be one of the richest men in Coruscant—aside from the king, of course. As you returned the saffron to the spice rack, your fingers caught on a small leather-bound notebook. You pried it out from between the thyme and oregano, flipping back the cover to reveal pages of recipes in neat, structured print. You noticed Wolffe’s name under one of the more recent ones. You chucked to yourself—he seemed to be full of surprises.

Another glance out the window revealed two horses–��one black and one white––stationed just outside the garden walls. You darted out of the kitchen to the front door, almost startled when the Duke emerged silently from his study to walk at your side.

“Do you ride side-saddle, my lady?”

“I do,” you offered, curtsying slightly as he opened the heavy oak door and motioned for you to exit.

The white horse had already been fitted with an elaborate leather saddle, nicer than anything you had ridden on in your life. Hell, you rode bareback most of the time. You turned to Wolffe, whose lips curved into the beginnings of a grin. You smiled in return.

“Can I—” you motioned to the horse.

“Be my guest,” he replied.

***

Taglist: @peacefulwizardfox @nelba @marvel-starwars-nerd @a-lil-perspective

#commander wolffe x you #commander wolffe #commander wolffe x reader #clone trooper boost #clone trooper sinker #clone trooper x reader

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aomine-ryo · 4 years ago

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Ahhhh I accidentally deleted your first ask @tilli-chan bc I’m a big dummy. I remembered the request though and I wrote it. I hope you like it!!

Scenario: Akashi’s s/o talking to his maids about him and his childhood

You were over at Akashi’s house one afternoon because you wanted him to help you prepare for an upcoming test. It was your first time visiting his house, even though you’ve been dating him for a few months. That was mainly because his father was usually home and Akashi didn’t want him to know about you. He knew that his father would only see you as a distraction and it would only make it harder for Akashi to be with you. However, his father was abroad on a business trip for a few days so you were finally able to visit the place Akashi grew up in.

You knew Akashi’s house would be big, but you were still taken aback when you actually saw it. As you walked past the well kept front lawn, you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of a small Akashi Seijuro running around on it without a care in the world. After ringing the doorbell, you patiently waited at the front door, looking around and admiring how lush your surroundings were. The door was soon opened by a kind eyed woman that wore a maid uniform, “You must be Mr Akashi’s guest,” she said with a smile as she opened the door wider to allow you some space, “please come in.”

You thanked her and you began to take your shoes off. As you set them aside, you noticed someone approaching you out of the corner of your eye. Looking up, you saw Akashi standing a few feet away from you with a gentle smile on his face. “Oh hey Seijuro,” you greeted.

“Hello my love,” he replied, placing a small kiss on your cheek as he walked with you into the lavish living room, equipped with high ceilings and a gorgeous fireplace.

“This is such a nice place,” you said, as Akashi led you into a separate room, which seemed to be a study. The room had two large bookshelves, filled with books from top to bottom. If you stared at it long enough, you’d think you were in a library.

Akashi pulled out one of the two chairs that were tucked into the large desk that stood in front of the window and looked at you, “Here take a seat, let’s get to work,” he said.

“But Seijuro, this is the first time I’ve ever come over. I thought I’d get to see your bedroom and maybe some baby photos,” you pouted, though you still sat down.

“I was planning on showing you that stuff after we were done.”

“You were planning on showing me your baby photos?” you questioned. You were expecting him to put up more of a fight about the photos, rather than suggest it himself.

“Well, no. But you seem to be interested in it, so so I don’t see why not,” he shrugged before taking his seat on the chair next to you.

You began to study with Akashi, though all you could think about was what his bedroom would look like and you couldn’t help but get excited. A few minutes into studying, Akashi excused himself to use the washroom, and you were left alone in the study. You heard a knock on the door, and when you turned around you saw a lady that wore the same uniform as the one who answered the door earlier. However, she seemed to look a bit older. “Hi, I have some tea for you. Where’s Mr Akashi?” she said, approaching the desk with a tray in hand.

“Oh he went to the washroom,” you informed.

She set the tray down on the desk and poured the tea into one of the cups before handing it to you. “I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you’re a very pretty girl,” she smiled at you. “Mr Akashi sometimes talks to us about you, you know? He really likes you.”

Hearing that made you get flustered as colour began to rise to your cheeks at the compliment, “Thank you! What’s Seijuro like at home?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“He isn’t home that much because he usually has basketball practice and he sometimes goes to ride his horse on his days off,” she told you, “but when he is home, he’s usually cooped up in his bedroom, practicing the violin or studying.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” you giggled, “how long have you been working here?”

“I’ve been here since little Seijuro was born.”

“That must mean you have some good stories about him!” you said, unable to contain your excitement.

“Of course I do,” she said, her mind seemingly beginning to reminisce about the past. “But you’re busy, I shouldn’t distract you.”

“No, it’s fine. Tell me the funniest story you have,” you requested, looking at her with the widest eyes ever.

She took a minute to pick a story to tell you before finally deciding on one that brought a smile to her face. “Mr Akashi used to cling onto his mother a lot as a child and he always used to cry whenever she’d head off to work. So one day, he managed to sneak himself into her car and his mother didn’t even realise he was there until she took a wrong turn and he suddenly said, ‘mummy, isn’t your office the other way?’ His mother was so startled that she screamed and she had to pull over. He was still about 5 years old back then, so it was hilarious to his mother and I,” she explained, letting out a few small chuckles when you began to laugh.

“What was his mother like?” you asked her, wondering if she was any different from Akashi’s father.

“She was such a lovely woman,” the maid said to you, her expressions softening into something more sentimental, “I’m sure you know that his father is a strict man. However, his mother was quite the opposite; she brought warmth into every room she was in. She was such a kind spirit.”

Your heart began to ache for Akashi. It must have been so difficult to lose someone that was so uplifting and kind-hearted. “I wish I could’ve met her,” you said, your smile faltering as you took a sip of the tea.

“Well, I should get going,” she said softly.

“Actually, do you mind telling me a few more stories about Seijuro?” you said quickly.

“I don’t know—”

“What’s going on here?” Akashi’s voice suddenly cut her off, startling both of you as you looked over and saw him standing by the door frame.

“I was just asking her about what you were like as a child. I can’t believe you snuck into your mother’s car when you were five,” you said to him, noticing how he began to get a bit embarrassed.

“I was a child, you can’t blame me,” he said as he got back to his seat. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

“Oh, I’m done with these questions,” you said looking down at your completed work before enthusiastically turning back to the maid, “I want to hear more stories about Seijuro.”

The maid continued to tell you stories about his childhood. Like how once, he had to do a worksheet in kindergarten that involved getting a cat to a bowl of milk by solving the maze in between. However, he simply just drew a line around the maze, connecting the picture of the cat to the bowl. The teacher still ended up giving him a gold star for it. He also tried to teach basketball to his horse once, which you thought was the funniest thing you’ve heard in a while.

Despite the slight embarrassment from his end, Akashi didn’t stop her from telling you about his childhood. He thought it was sweet that you were so intrigued about him. Furthermore, he absolutely adored watching how your face lit up and listening to your giggles as the conversation continued.

Eventually, he had to intervene and stop the sharing because he wanted to get back to studying. At that point, you were well informed of dozens of stories that you didn’t object to getting back to your studies. You thanked the maid and turned back to your books.

“You were a very interesting child,” you chuckled as you began to write down some notes.

“Is that a good thing?”

“Of course!” You said almost immediately before looking at him with a cheeky grin on your face. “I bet those baby photos are adorable. I can’t wait to see them.”

“What’s adorable is how happy you are over these things,” he said, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he looked at your beaming expression.

“I just want to know more about the person I love, that’s all,” you said simply, getting slightly surprised when Akashi suddenly pressed his soft lips against yours. “What was that for?” you asked when he pulled away.

“Just for being so cute,” he said smoothly.

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #akashi seijuro x reader #knb akashi #akashi x reader #akashi seijuro #akashi seijūrō #akashi seijuurou x reader #kuroko no basket x reader

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talkfastromance4 · 4 years ago

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not going anywhere--ashton irwin oneshot

Copyright talkfastromance4 © All works is intellectual property of the author. All rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction or any part or all contents in any form is prohibited. You may not, without written expression and consent from the author, distribute works amongst other social media platforms

a/n: hey ya’ll, still taking a break but wrote this little fluff piece. mind you it is very self-indulgent. third person but female reader

donate to my ko-fi here :)

Masterlist

• • • •

Ashton could see the storm in her eyes immediately when she came on their video call. Her eyes were tired and clouded with an emotion he couldn’t quite place but she hasn’t been sleeping all that well. That worries him. He hasn’t been sleeping well either, being away from her and all, but her sleep is more important than his. When together, they both sleep the best, the feeling of her arm over his waist with her nose buried in his back always soothed him.

“Hi angel,” he tries to make his voice uplifting and she returns with a half-smile.

“Hi,” she responds softly and tuckers her chin on her knees. He notices she’s in one of his long sleeves.

“What’s goin’ on?” his brows come together in concern, his face inching closer to the screen. If he were actually with her he would duck his face to her neck, stamping soft kisses to her skin while he held her in his arms.

“It’s nothing,” she shakes her head. “How’s the trip?”

“Y/N, it’s not nothing,” he frowns.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?” her voice cracked at the end and her lip trembled.

“Why not? Maybe I can help.”

“You can’t help because you aren’t physically here and I don’t really feel like crying on FaceTime right now, okay?” her voice shook as her emotions betrayed her and slipped out, giving away her hurt.

Ashton sighs and he ruffles his hair with his fingers, a sign of distress and aggravation that he can’t be there to help her with whatever’s happening.

“Okay, okay,” he huffs, “I hate being away from you.”

“I do too,” she sighs. “How is the trip, anyway?”

They transition to normal conversation relating to his current trip across the country with the band to do some interviews and late revelations about their fourth album. It’s strenuous and he didn’t realize how hard it would be getting back into the swing of things. Seven months off—seven glorious months of being alone with her—went by too fast and filled him with a new routine.

He’s missing making dinner with her while Friends plays in the background. He misses helping her with the yoga poses he teaches her and the way she grunts when her breathing gets off from his. Yoga isn’t her favorite thing but it’s something he enjoys and she’s told him she likes doing it with him. That bit of information made his heart soar.

He misses having morning coffee with her, in bed, on the patio, in the kitchen. He misses showering late at night only to have her join him moments later, her fingers running down his back, over his shoulders, then into his hair as she shampoos it for him. He misses laying in bed taking funny photos from filters and giggling into kisses that lead to his fingers lifting up her shirt.

He misses their nightly rituals, their skincare routine combined together made a powerful new one and searching up new music artists on his phone that they inevitably end up loving. He misses the featherlight touch of her fingertips tracing over the grooves of his palm, up his arm and over the red and black ink of his moons.

“Trip’s fine,” he shrugs, “it’s hard getting back into it after having all this time off of rest. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, baby,” she smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “When will you be home?”

“Two nights’ time, around eight o’clock I think.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she grins.

Ashton’s heart flips at the sentiment. For so long, he’s left an empty house and came back to it even emptier. Now, knowing she’ll be there is making him feel homesick, something he hasn’t felt for a long time. She’s made his house into a home just by filling it with her presence.

“I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

◦○◦●◦○◦

The next forty-eight hours went by gruelingly slow. At the end of it all, Ashton is left exhausted and all he wants is to go home to her, back in his secular bubble of comfort. His muscles are tensed and his mind is on hyperdrive from the overstimulation of the other part of his life returning full throttle.

When the familiar lights at the end of his driveway come in his vision he’s itching in anticipation of being in her presence again. He gathers his bags quickly, the straps dig into his arms but he doesn’t want to make another trip to retrieve them. If he left something he’d get it in the morning.

He lets his things collapse to the floor in a giant heap and he’s half-expecting to see her on the couch waiting for him but she’s not there. Faintly, he hears noises traveling downstairs and he takes them two at a time until he sees her in bed. She’s sprawled across it on her stomach, her face buried into her arms as her body shakes with sobs.

Panicking, he rushes to her side, touching the back of her head carefully so as not to scare her, but she jumps anyway. She’s gasping for air, eyes clamped shut as tears flood down her cheeks. Ashton shifts her into his lap, he holds her close and hears how long she holds her breath as she sobs.

“Hey, hey, hey, breathe, baby… breathe,” he hushes rubbing large circles on her back.

She tries to exhale and ends up coughing, the lack of air and sudden rush of it caught her lungs off guard. Her cries still fall as she tries to find her breath and Ashton rocks her from side to side, his lips pressing to her temple.

“I’m right here…you’re all right, I’ve got you…” he hums repeatedly in her ear until her sobs start to subside.

After a few more moments, she lifts her head from his chest—leaving a dark spot of her tears on his shirt—and she gazes up at him with puffy eyes and a splotchy face. Ashton rubs away the excess tears from her cheeks.

“What’s happened?”

“Why doesn’t he love me?” her voice is a whispered crack.

Ashton’s confused, he does love her how could she…? Then realization hits, the ‘he’ in question is her father.

“He loves you, angel,” he tries to soothe by caressing her cheek. She shakes her head adamantly and pushes herself in a sitting position.

“No, he doesn’t. I was never first…he was never around because he was always with friends. Drinking and having a fun time with them. They need help and he goes running, but when I need help it’s the biggest inconvenience for him,” she sniffs. She uses the back of her hand to swipe away at fresh tears. “What did I do, Ashton? Why can’t I…how do I change?”

“No, no,” Ashton shakes his head then scoots closer so she’s trapped between his legs. He holds her cheeks in his hands, making her look at him. “You did nothing. You don’t have to change one bit of you.”

“I don’t know what else to do. I’m tired of vying for his love when it was never there in the first place but I can’t stop…I want to but it’s hard when I want….”

“I know baby, I know,” he kisses her forehead. “You have done nothing wrong, it’s not your fault he doesn’t know how to love you the way that he should.”

“My heart hurts.”

“I know,” he nods slowly then cocks his head until she’s staring into his eyes, “But I’m here and I’m not going anywhere because I love you so damn much. You’ll always be my number one and if there was a number before that, you’d be that as well.”

She sniffs the same time she blinks, and two tears fall freely into her lap then she bites her lip. Ashton smooths his thumb over her lip, pulling it free from her teeth. She lifts her chin a fraction so she’s looking into his eyes.

“You don’t need to change, for anyone. Especially not for someone who can’t see how pretty damn perfect you already are,” he smiles impishly, and it makes her giggle gently. “Okay?”

“Okay,” she nods then holds her hand over his that’s resting on her cheek. “Thank you…for listening and helping.”

He leans forward to give her a soft kiss, once, twice, then before the third he says, “Like I said I’m not going anywhere, angel. I love you.”

She laces her fingers with his on the third kiss, it’s sealed with a promise and filled with love.

• • • •

Taglist: @galcalirwin @cashtonasff5sos @thecurlsofgod @myloverboyash @rotten-kandy @tea4sykes @jannimoeller3 @loveroflrh @iovehemmings @cxddlyash @princesslrh @here-for-the-uproars @katiaw2 @g-l-pierce @fairyintheglass @gosh-im-short @banditocth @dezzym17 @koalacal @lukeisbaby @spicycal @mysticalhood @notinthesameguey @wastedheartcth @atlcalm @itjustkindahappenedreally @calumance @babylon-corgis @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @lanternlover2 @istaywithmyjonas @calteahood @sarcastically-defensive17 @another-lonely-heart @devilatmydoor @frontmanash @philthepegacorn @mantlereid @lukedorkyhemmings @addietagglikesbands @kikixfandoms @sanrioluke @mayve-hems @morguelth @haikucal @thatscooibaby @meghanrose05 @idontneedanyone @dinosaursandsocks @cassie-sos @suchalonelysunflower @burstintocolor @zhangyixingxing1 @dead-and-golden @mymindwide @everyscarisahealingplace @stardust-galaxies @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @lovelybonesetc @karajaynetoday @quasighost @i-like-5sos

#ashton irwin angst #ashton irwin oneshot #ashton irwin #ashton writing #ashton 5sos #ashton 5sos writing #ashton fluff #ashton angst #5sos writing

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stevie-kd · 4 years ago

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“Feral”

Part 4

Read part 1 here

Read part 2 here

Read part 3 here

::in which Bakugou makes a mistake, Kirishima pays the price, but it all works out and the quirk is gone for good... right?::

+++++++++++++

Kirishima couldn’t help staring at the empty desk across the room. It was Monday, and Bakugou still hadn’t returned.

Over the weekend, Kirishima had periodically visited his best friend after meal times. That was when he seemed to be on his best behavior, but the quirk still sent him into frenzies at pretty random times. He’d been able to feel most of them coming. Most.

It appeared he was making some real progress. The claws, fangs and cat-like eyes hadn’t gone away yet, but he was acting more like himself each day, and the fits of rage grew less and less frequent. Until this morning, when Kirishima had decided to bring him breakfast.

Kirishima was already in his school uniform, having woken up a half hour early to go see the blond before class. He’d grabbed a protein bar on his way through the kitchen for himself, but for Bakugou he’d prepared a quick meal of home cooked eggs and vegetables. He was no chef like Bakugou, but after all the meals the blond had prepared for him, he figured he’d try to return the favor. He made sure to grab some of the spiciest seasonings and a bottle of sriracha sauce before heading out though.

Cementoss was the one stationed outside of Bakugou’s room today. He let Kirishima in without hassle, and Bakugou was simply lying on his bed, staring up at the white ceiling.

“Hey, hey, Katsuki!” he greeted him cheerily. Bakugou gave no response, no acknowledgement. “I’ve got breakfast, dude.”

It wasn’t until Kirishima was standing beside the cot and set the tray down on the bedside table with a small clink! that Bakugou stirred.

Before Kirishima could even register what was happening, Bakugou was on him, pinning him to the ground, claws at his throat. Kirishima hadn’t hardened fast enough, and he could feel the hot, sticky blood on the back of his head where it'd collided with the ground. The claws were already dug into the flesh of his neck. He struggled to get out a choked yelp in an attempt to alert Cementoss.

It must have worked, because the Pro Hero came bursting into the room. He surged forward and lifted Bakugou off of Kirishima like he was nothing more than a rabid puppy. Bakugou struggled against the hero’s grip, but he would’ve had better luck fighting a brick wall. Cementoss was sturdy and unyielding.

“Get out of here, Kirishima!” his teacher demanded of him.

Kirishima managed to climb to his feet and stumble out. He put pressure on his neck where it hurt worst, but blood almost immediately seeped through his fingers. He was horrified at how much poured down his arms after hardly a few moments. He could only stare at all the red that stained his shirt and sleeves.

“Kirishima?” asked Cementoss as he emerged from Bakugou’s room. “What are you still doing here? You need to get to Recovery Girl.”

Kirishima couldn’t seem to move. His feet were glued in place, his eyes trained through the window to stare at Bakugou as he curled in on himself. His entire frame was shaking, and he buried his face into his pillow to hide it.

“Kirishima, can you hear me?” Cementoss was asking, but the teenager wasn’t listening. His brain was too busy screaming at him to get back to Bakugou, to tell him it’s okay, to beg him not to cry.

He stepped up to the door, trying to pry it open but unable to without the keycard to grant him access inside. Cementoss put a hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from the door as gently as he could, but he had to use more force when Kirishima fought against his hold.

“Please! Please, I—fuck! Katsuki!”

Everything became a blur after that. He remembered Cementoss delivering him to Recovery Girl, who looked panicked at the sight of all the blood. She was quick to heal him and wrap up his wounds. She’d wrapped bandaging all around his neck and some around his head. She decided he had a mild concussion and needed four staples where he’d bashed his head open. Bakugou’s claws had gone deep enough into his throat to have cut his larynx, so she said to avoid speaking as much as possible at least for the rest of the day. After all said and done, she told him he wasn’t allowed to leave until he’d gotten some rest.

But he couldn’t sleep. He had so much going on in his mind, his brain wouldn’t allow such a foreign concept as sleep. After a couple hours she let him go, but she made it known she preferred he didn’t go back to school until tomorrow due to the concussion.

But he couldn’t just sit in his room and dwell on his thoughts. He knew the teachers wouldn’t let him back in to see Bakugou so soon, and he needed something to distract him. So he went back to the dorms and showered, changed into a fresh uniform, and headed to class.

Everyone was obviously surprised to see him, Aizawa included. Kirishima took notice of the way their eyes caught on the bandaging around his neck that peeked out of the collar of his uniform, but no one said anything as he made his way to his seat.

And he spent the whole hour staring at Bakugou’s empty seat, not a word of Aizawa’s lecture reaching his ears.

Once the bell eventually rang, signaling lunch, the Bakusquad was surrounding him faster than he could even close his textbook.

“Kiri, babe, I don’t want to sound like that person, but you look like shit,” Ashido offered. “What happened?”

“We heard you went to visit Bakugou this morning and he attacked you again,” Kaminari explained.

Sero’s expression was full of pity. “Yeah, man, are you seriously okay?”

Kirishima gave them an O-K, then signaled to his throat with a shake of his head. He grabbed his notebook and wrote out Can’t talk yet. Nicked my vocal chords.

Ashido looked horrified. “He tried to rip your throat out? Seriously?!”

“Dude, that’s so messed up.” Sero shook his head and folded his arms. “Even under a quirk, you’d think he’d have enough self control not to nearly slit his best friend’s throat.”

Kirishima choked. It hurt, but he couldn’t help it. Hot tears leaked down his cheeks, and he could only bury his face in his sleeve to keep his friends from seeing him crying. He felt so unmanly.

“K-Kirishima?” Kaminari gasped. “Whoa! Are you alright?”

“Shit, Kirishima, I’m sorry!” Sero apologized. “That was really insensitive of me to say. I’m sorry, man.”

“It’s okay,” he tried to say, but his voice was horrifically gravelly and much too quiet for anyone else to understand. On top of the pain his throat was in, he could feel a marble forming in it, threatening to choke him. He had to get himself under control.

Ashido pulled him into a hug then. The effect was almost immediate. He relaxed in her grip, leaning into her and turning his head into her shoulder.

“Kirishima,” came Aizawa’s voice then. The redhead turned to see his teacher standing a few rows of desks ahead of the group, hands in his pockets and face expressionless. “A word in private, please.”

Kirishima slumped. He was about to get chewed out. Ashido tightened her embrace reassuringly before slipping away. “We’ll wait for you in the hallway so we can head to lunch together.”

He nodded his thanks, and the group retreated. Aizawa sighed once the door was closed behind them. “I just spoke to Recovery Girl. You shouldn’t be here.”

Kirishima looked down at the floor. He wasn’t sure how to reply, considering he couldn’t verbally answer anyway.

“Listen,” Aizawa continued, lowering himself onto his haunches to be level with Kirishima, “I can’t say I know what you’re feeling right now. But I can tell you I know what Bakugou is feeling. I spoke with him this morning after the incident. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was taking it really hard. He was pretty devastated, actually. I’m sure he’d like to see you and know that you’re okay. Would you like to see him?”

Kirishima stared up at Aizawa with big eyes. He nodded vigorously, and Aizawa chuckled softly at that.

“Alright, kid. Not until after you’re fully healed though. Seeing you like this would only make him feel worse.”

He stood again, stretching his back and Kirishima heard a few quiet pops of his joints. He pointed to the door with his thumb as he folded his arms. “Get out. You’re excused from classes for the day. If you’d like, I can give you your homework now, but I want you resting. Don’t come to classes until tomorrow.”

Kirishima nodded. He’d take the leave of absence if it meant he could visit Bakugou again. He stuffed his books in his bag and headed for the door, giving Aizawa a nod of thanks before dipping out.

Ashido, Sero, and Kaminari were waiting for him like they’d promised, but they looked caught off guard by his sudden change in attitude.

“Whoa, uh, you okay, man?” Sero asked.

He gave a thumbs up and flashed one of his toothy smiles.

“What did Aizawa do to you?” Ashido questioned, a lop-sided smile growing on her lips.

Kaminari cocked his head. “Yeah, Aizawa isn’t the type of guy to strike me as ‘uplifting’. Usually people leave his presence feeling worse.”

Kirishima shook his head with a smile meant to put them at ease. He tried his best to signal he was heading back to the dorms, but he was sure he just looked like an idiot waving his arms around. When the others only scrunched their eyebrows, he just pointed in the direction of the dorms.

Ashido’s mouth formed an ‘O’ and she nodded her approval. “Get some rest, Kiri. We’ll stop by and visit later! ‘Kay?”

He gave another thumbs up, then waved goodbye as he sauntered off.

Once in his dorm and changed into jogging pants and a tee shirt, he truly did try to fall asleep, thinking maybe it would help time go by faster. He ended up just staring at the ceiling for two hours. He attempted to get some of the homework done, but without Bakugou’s usual help, he was hopeless.

Finally, he decided to head into the common area and crash on one of the sofas, playing some cheesy American action film on the TV. He snuggled up under a layer of blankets with a bowl of ice cream and watched as two burley men duked it out on the small screen.

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew he was blinking awake at the sight of a few of his classmates above him.

“Hello, Kirishima,” said Yaoyorozu, a sheepish smile on her soft face. “Sorry to wake you. We wanted to make sure you were alright. We let you sleep for a while, but it’s dinner time.”

He wiped some drool off his chin. Ugh, how embarrassing. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes, then noticed Iida standing beside her with a tray in his hands.

“We thought you might be hungry,” Iida said with a kind smile. “Aizawa informed us you weren’t quite eating solid foods just yet, so we have some miso soup, and chocolate pudding for dessert.”

Yaoyorozu produced a small table from beneath her shirt and helped him prop it up over his lap. Iida set the tray down, and Kirishima felt his mouth water at the smell of the soup. His stomach growled almost comically loud. He winced, but the two only laughed.

“Glad to help, Kirishima,” Yaoyorozu smiled pleasantly. “Also, I made you some chamomile tea with honey. That’s always best for a sore throat.”

He grabbed the tea cup off his tray and took a small sip. It was delicious! It tasted just like his moms always made it whenever he was sick.

He cleared his throat and voiced a hoarse reply. “Thank you, guys.”

“No need to thank us,” said Iida. “Aspiring heroes should always be there for one another when they’re in need of a little help. Please, if you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask. Yaoyorozu and I would be pleased to help.”

He nodded his gratitude, and they left him to eat his meal in peace. The quiet didn’t last once his band of juveniles were passing through and saw him up and awake. Ashido squealed, and Sero and Kaminari were hot on her heels.

“Kiri, you’re up!” she squeaked, plopping down on the couch beside him. “Feeling better?”

“Much,” he answered. His voice was rough, like he’d just finished a long night of screaming at a heavy metal concert. He was just thankful to be able to speak at all and with almost no pain. At this rate, Aizawa might let him in to see Bakugou tonight!

“So, are you mad at Bakugou about what happened?” Sero asked then.

Kirishima shook his head. He didn’t want to strain his voice more than he had to.

“Good. I’d hate to see you guys stop being best friends over an accident that happened because of a quirk. And I’m really sorry about what I said earlier. It wasn’t true, and I know Bakugou would never hurt you on purpose.”

“It’s okay, Sero,” Kirishima said through a mouthful of pudding. “You were mad. I say things I don’t mean when I’m mad too.”

“How much longer do you think this quirk will last?” Kaminari asked. “I’m actually starting to miss all of Bakubro’s yelling and screaming. Especially his cooking.”

“What I wouldn’t give for a bowl of his curry right now,” Ashido said dreamily.

“I’m going to see if I can visit him again after dinner,” Kirishima explained, “but I need to see Recovery Girl first to get the OK.”

“Ooh! Please tell Baku we miss him.”

He laughed at her pouty lips and puppy dog eyes. “I’ll make sure he knows.”

The three chattered for a while about school and quirk training and all kinds of gossip as Kirishima finished his soup and listened in. He wished Bakugou was there more than ever. Sometimes when they hung out in the common room, he’d let Kirishima lean on him, and once even allowed the redhead to use his lap as a pillow. Kirishima was always a very touchy kind of guy—it was a part of his love language and how he showed affection. Bakugou would never admit he appreciated it too, but Kirishima could read him like an open book. Underneath his hard exterior, Bakugou was human like everyone else.

A little later into the evening, Recover Girl was happy to see his wounds had nearly healed over the course of the day, just little pink scars left that should disappear by morning and a scratchy throat that wasn’t giving him enough pain to bother him. She removed the staples in his head, checked his pupillary responses again, then planted another kiss on his forehead for good measure, but she said with Aizawa’s supervision she’d allow Kirishima to go see Bakugou tonight.

He just about ran all the way to the holding cells. Aizawa looked him over and must have deemed the teenager worthy, because with a sigh he swiped his keycard without saying a word.

Kirishima stepped into the room with a smile plastered to his face. After this morning and spending his whole day worrying about how Bakugou must be feeling, it was a massive weight off his chest to finally be here.

Bakugou was lying on his side in his bed overtop of the sheets. He had his back to Kirishima and didn’t make any efforts to look and see who it was entering his room. For a second, Kirishima wondered if he was sleeping.

“Katsuki,” he said, taking a couple steps forward.

That got him moving. He shot up and spun on Kirishima, shock clear across his face. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Kirishima shrugged. “I’m here to see my best bud. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Me? You wanted to make sure I’m okay? Are you a fucking moron?”

The redhead only took another step forward. “That had to be scary for you this morning.”

“Tch. Kirishima, I almost fucking killed you.”

“Eijirou.”

Bakugou glared at him. “What?”

“Call me Eijirou. This morning hasn’t changed anything.”

Bakugou clenched his fists tight enough that his knuckles were white. He bared his teeth, and it was in that moment Kirishima noticed two things.

“Your fangs are gone! And your claws!”

All the tension in his body seemed to drain at once. Bakugou blinked a few times, then held his open palms in front of him. He looked up at Kirishima, his eyes no longer slit like that of a cat’s.

“Your eyes too! Katsuki, I think the quirk has worn off!”

Bakugou stood, his expression sinking. His head drooped and he held his face in his hands. Kirishima surged forward when he noticed his shoulders begin to tremble.

He wrapped his arms around Bakugou, holding him close as he cried. Bakugou burrowed his face into the crook of Kirishima’s neck and returned the hug.

“What’s wrong, Katsuki?” Kirishima asked in a gentle voice. “I thought you would’ve been happy?”

“I am,” Bakugou answered with a choked sob. “I’m just—relieved.”

Kirishima traced soothing circles into his back. “It’s okay, man. Let it out.”

He took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry I’m so fucking weak.”

“What? You’re not weak. You’re the manliest guy I know, Katsuki. The bravest, strongest, most heroic man I’ve ever known.”

“I-I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

Kirishima shushed him. “It’s alright. You don’t have to be embarrassed. This is what friends are for.”

“Friends,” Bakugou echoed. There was a strange undertone in his voice that Kirishima couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“Best friends.”

Kirishima tightened his embrace, wishing Bakugou saw him as something a little bit more.

<><><><><><><><><>

Soooo hope y’all liked part 4 (and a big fat sorry for how long it took me to get the damn thing posted). I’ve started part 5 and should have it up ASAP bc I’m HELLA excited to get my one-shots posted.

Anywho, thanks for the read!! You guys are the best, and I really appreciate all the love you’ve given me and my writing💕

Read part 5 here

Read part 6 here

8/24/2020

#bakugou is hit by a quirk #katsuki bakugou #bakugou whump #bakugou angst #kirishima angst #kirishima eijirou #kirishima whump #bakugou x kirishima #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakusquad #whump #angst #fluff #kiribaku fluff #bakushima

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sapphic-writing · 4 years ago

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Screw boys

VENT FIC **** I wrote it for me but maybe you can enjoy it

Mentions of alcohol and bad language

Edit and beta reading are for pussies, we die like women.

Modern AU with Ulla, Donella and Ulf (or in the mid 90's). OOC.

What happens when a college student passes his exams and that the parents of said student own a field on the side of the town, that isn’t rally occupied yet? Well first he thinks he could invite the people of his promo to celebrate their results on a hot summer night. Then he thinks he might as well invite people he knew in high school. A few people ask if they can bring some of their friends with them, nothing crazy. More and more people are invited and inviting. Before you know it, the upcoming party have the reputation of the most crazy party thrown in town for the upcoming decade. And the starter of it isn’t sure he could stop it even if he wanted to.

Ulla, being Ulla, counts herself in the first wave of guests. Mark, a close friend from high school had gotten her into it. And she herself, had gotten her brother and Donella on the guest list, alongside with other pears. The only thing that kept her two acolytes from bailing on this party as they witnessed it growing with horror, was the idea of leaving Ulla alone at a huge event like that, without backup. Ulf especially, being the designated driver.

And they couldn’t have greater regrets, when they found themselves sitting anxiously in the grass. Observing the other teenagers drinking like it was the end of the world.

Ulla had wandered off with Mark, glad to catch up with him, but most of all, she needed to get one thing straight ass there was one thing that had been bugging her for a while.

“Hey, dude. Can I talk to you for a sec?” She asked, now merry. “C’mon, let’s go where there’s less noise. We can’t hear shit here.”

It wasn’t really out of the party, not even outside of the land that the parents of the holder of the event actually owned, because of course people had taken the party well pass it. But they found a tree and it was a good enough thing to lay against.

“Okay, alright. So you remember how you told me about having regrets and stuff, and you wanted to ask me one thing but in the end you didn’t? I wanna know, man. I know it has something to do with me. I need, I need to know what it is. Like, if I want to trust you again.”

“Hmmmm okay, you wanna know?” He asks with a smile, rolling against the trunk to face her. “Do you have regrets about that time we both had a crush on eachother but none of us made a moove?”

“What if I did?”

He detached himself from the tree to stand in front of the girl. “I don’t know. But I mean, it’s never too late.”

“Aren’t you dating Millie?” Ulla asked playfully as he approached her.

“I think she could be okay with this.”

Ulla got closer to him, her breath brushing his lips as she spoke.

“So, now that, out of high school, I take more care of myself, put make up on and make efforts to wear nice clothes, I become interesting to you? Because you find me just so pretty. Better than the girl in high school?”

“You know you’re so god damn pretty now, doll.” And as he was playing with her hair, slowly closing his eyes as as he was opening his lips and getting closer, she spat right in his mouth.

He backed up with a sound of disgust and Ulla took the opportunity to get away from the tree and him.

“Won’t be seeing you again, Mark. But since you were so eager to put your tong in my mouth, I’m leaving you a souvenir. Bon soir.” she finished with a terrible accent and a reverence. Getting out of his sight before he got mad or violent.

Wandering through the many faces of wrecked students, she eventually found her brother at the exact same place he was when she left.

“Where’s Donnie?” She asked. He gestured to somewhere to her left, and she saw her with what was definitely not her first cup in hand.

“I don’t like you.” She told a guy, straight up to his face. The girls around them laughed hysterically as he started crying.

Ulla turned away from the scene and dropped her forehead on Ulf’s shoulder. “I wanna go home.”

“You okay, Ul’?” He asked, putting a hand on her back. She groaned and threw her head backward.

“The second I become fuckable, one of the guys I consider one of my best friends starts to want to do me like I take care of myself only for his pleasur or something.” She look at him in the eyes and tries to play it less hurt than she was. “He ignored my strong personality and one, it doesn’t work. Second, I don’t appreciate.” She continued mumbling a third, fourth and more reasons of ways it had offended her. Ulf nodded without trying to understand more and called the other mess he was in charge of. “Don, we’re going home!” Once she registered the information, she went in their direction without a protest. The girls behind started booing and asking her to stay because she made them laugh.

“Men are shit.” Ulla declared as she threw an arm around the shoulders of an already legless Donella.

“Tell me about it.” She responded as Ulf was helping her not to fall. They started walking to Donella’s parents car.

“Also, we’re not talking to Mark no more.” and before any of the two others could answer, Ulla’s name was screamed not far from where they were. “Ah, shit.”

“God, Ulla. You pissed him off!”

“Like it’s a surprise.”

The scream had made a few heads turn for a second before going back to the madness. The redhead girl let go of her arm around Donella and turned around.

“You want to complain because I didn’t let you screw me? Big, big dick move since your girlfriend’s around.” Indeed, Millie was looking at the scene with confusions. “Better, you want to pretend that nothing happened and keep dating her. So you can cheat more or something.”

He didn’t answer. Ulf’s guess was that he was expecting to find her alone and not with two other people who would completely be on her side. Millie came closer and looked at him, waiting for a reaction from her boyfriend. He looked at her in the eyes.

“C’mon, babe. You can’t believe her. She’s just drunk and jealous and…”

“Tell me the truth.” She calmly said with a determined stair. And suddenly he wasn’t able to hold on her look and he fell silent.

Ulla advanced to be at the poor girl’s side. “It’s okay, Mil. We can take you home if you want.” Ulf wasn’t certain their parents would be okay with a surprise guest, but he wasn’t about to open his mouth right now.

He took the three girls to the car. Ulla on the backseat, against the window, with Ulla next to her to take care of her in case there was a puking accident. And Millie on the sit next to him as the conductor. First they trash talked about Mark. Then uplifted each-other in that way that girls do. Donella did have an accident and they managed to keep the damages in the car minimal.

The next day, Ulla and Millie were dealing with a hangover while Ulf and Donella, who never had had a bad hangover in her life despite being the one drinking the most in the trio, were explaining to the Rusf parents why there was another girl in their flat. Not that they took it as badly as Ulf’s anxious mind had anticipated.

Bonus I wanted to include but couldn’t :

(After Mark called after Ulla, she is talking)

“And what’s with you and red heads? Do you have a fetish or something? You’re gonna try and fuck Ulf next time?” Mark makes a disgusted face. “What? Oooooooh, but that’s gay! You can’t say that to a manly man like me!” She says in a high pitched voice, pretending to look offended. “Well look, I’ll be fucking your girlfriend before you. She is ways more fuckable than you are.”

#fuck men #i hate men #all women are queens #this kinda sucks #vent fic #i'm mad #tangled ulla #ulla seven kingdoms #ulla vat7k #tangled donella #donella vat7k #donella seven kingdoms #ulf seven kingdoms #fanfic #out of character #varian and the 7 kingdoms #seven kingdoms au #modern au

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cherishedkids · 5 years ago

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hashibira inosuke with a self-conscious s/o || hcs

A/N: thank you to @lavender-zone for requesting this!! i hope that this was alright ! i dont know if i wrote inosuke properly,,, but i did my best 🙏 i hope you enjoy it!! thank you ! 💕💕

when hashibira inosuke was born, it was like the heavens decided to take pity on him.

his fate was sealed, and they knew the unfortunate ending that he and his mother would face.

maybe because of that, he grew up very handsome and pretty.

this was the only restitution that was given to him.

his dark locks shined, even though he had no care for it.

his eyelashes curled upward, and his green eyes shimmered under them.

due to years of living in the wild, he had built muscles that were worthy of praise.

he had flexibility, and was in tune with nature, having been raised there.

if anything, his only flaw was his personality.

his loud and proud way of addressing everyone was sure to get him in hot water soon.

he had a problem communicating with others, as he was only surrounded by boars as a baby.

even if he did have a problem like this, he was able to find someone he loved.

of course, it took awhile for him to realize that he actually didn’t want to fight you.

but once he figured that he wanted you to always be there for him, it was smooth sailing from there.

being with inosuke all the time made you cherish him so much.

he starts to notice your own problems when you ask him a question about a simple thing.

“does this look good on me?”

you were talking about the color of the haori you picked out.

inosuke never had a problem with clothes, as he walked around half-naked.

“of course, ___! it looks great!”

even with his constant praise, you still looked sad in his eyes.

but he didn’t know how to address it.

the next time, as you both lay on a futon that you forced him to sleep on, you praise him.

he had always loved being praised, and felt good when you complimented him.

“i really love your hair, i wish mine was that healthy,”

well, he didn’t really do anything special, but he loved hearing about it!

“your eyes are pretty and your eyelashes…! mine are just dull and short,”

hmm, for some reason, that didn’t feel as nice as it should.

“i wish i had motivation to work out like you do...”

he had to stop this.

after talking and seeking out advice from tanjiro, he finally knew the words to say.

you were nestled against his stomach, so he pushed you up.

now that you were eye-to-eye, he hoped that you could see the truth in his eyes.

“___, don’t compare yourself to me,”

he could see that you were dealing with it yourself.

but unlike his problem that affected those around him, yours quietly affected you.

you only nod to make him happy.

but he sees right through it.

“tell me, what’s been bothering you?” he asks you.

you hesitate, but you have to be honest to him.

“are you proud of me as a significant other?”

it seems stupid as the sentence escapes your lips, but inosuke doesn’t laugh or dismisses it.

he takes your hands in his.

“of course, i am.”

it’s the most gentle tone you’ve heard him speak in.

“it’s just that… no matter how hard i think that i’m good looking or whatever, i still feel so insignificant,”

he thinks about it, and gathers his thoughts up.

your whole relationship, he never once thought about your physical appearance, only if he was comfortable with you or not.

and he was comfortable comfortable with you.

in fact, he saw you as a great person!

extremely affable and kind, the complete opposite of his personality.

but the problem was, he didn’t know how to put it into words.

he pulls you closer to him.

“you don’t know how proud i am to know you, ___. i love you no matter what,”

he learned that from tanjiro.

once tanjiro explained what the words meant, and why you always said that to him, he knew that he wanted to say that to you.

it doesn’t cure your problem, but it does make it easier for you to carry it.

while strolling around, the both of you meet tanjiro and nezuko

they both haven’t met you, but heard about you through inosuke.

before you could introduce yourself, inosuke holds your hand.

“hey gonpachiro, this is my significant other, ___!”

then he laughs maniacally.

you think back to the night before, and you blush that he took your words to heart.

“i bet you don’t have someone who loves you like they do!”

you smile at his words.

tanjiro just nods. “yes, i do hope that i meet someone soon like them soon,”

inosuke rebukes him. “too bad! they’re the only person in the world who’s important!”

tanjiro and nezuko bow towards you and you do the same.

the both of them say goodbye as you carry on your way.

the words get stuck in your throat.

but inosuke speaks first.

“i’ll be showing you off from now on, if that’s alright,”

tears fall from your eyes.

he doesn’t understand at first.

he thinks he did something wrong!

“___! i’m sorry, i won’t do it again!”

as he fusses over you, you just laugh.

then he stops.

“you big dummy. i’m just happy,”

he wipes away your tears.

was this the tears of happiness tanjiro was talking about?

he stands there dumbfounded, but aware that he has done something right.

he did.

it’ll take a lot of time and effort, and definitely won’t happen overnight, but with him by your side, it definitely would speed it up.

one day at a time.

there are days where you feel worse than ever, but he’d offer you support and space when you need it.

on the days that you feel confident, he uplifts you and brings out more of your happiness.

after all, in his eyes, you were perfect.

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jalapeno-princess · 4 years ago

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Before You Go

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst

Warning: Mentions about mental illness, depression, anxiety, insecurities

Word Count: 3.5K

Summary: When Got7 has a break during their world tour, Mark rushes back to Korea in order to return home to you. However, when he comes home to an empty apartment, he isn’t too surprised. Although he didn’t know about your condition, you were no longer acting like yourself a couple of weeks before. After reading the letter you left him, he realizes that you were suffering and he never hated himself more for not doing anything about it sooner.

A/N: Hey guys, I got inspired to rush this very sad imagine after listening to the song “Before you go” by Lewis Capaldi and I could not stop listening to it. It’s such a heartbreaking song and I remember seeing a tiktok about Got7 with that song and I actually cried. Hearing that he wrote this song about his aunt who committed suicide made my heart hurt. I’ve suffered from both depression and anxiety for quite some time and at one of the lowest points of my life, I just so happened to stumble across of the 7 most wonderful human beings and my life changed for the better. I’d be lying if I said I don’t have my bad days, but watching their videos or listening to their songs really helps uplift my spirits. I’m so sorry if you have any sort of mental disorder but I hope you know that you are so beautiful and so loved. The pain doesn’t last forever and if you ever need someone to talk to, my messages are always open! And please, don’t make someone the main source of your happiness. It isn’t someone’s responsibility to make you happy. Everyone suffers something we don’t know and the minute that person does something to upset you, it never once leaves your mind and they no longer make you happy. With that being said, read with caution and enjoy.

I fell by the wayside like everyone else I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself Our every moment, I start to replace 'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say

When you hurt under the surface Like troubled water running cold Well, time can heal, but this won'tSo, before you go Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather So, before you go

Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless So, before you go

He knew it was coming whether he liked it or not. Your smile no longer reached your eyes whenever the two of you would FaceTime, your contagious laughter than he loved so much didn’t sound genuine like it used to, you would always respond with short answers to each and every one of your messages.

Mark didn’t have to see you in person to know that you weren’t yourself anymore; that you weren’t happy anymore and he hated that he didn’t realize something was wrong until it was too late. When he first walked in to your shared apartment, he didn’t think that anything was out of the ordinary. It was natural for you to not be at home.

Being a full-time college student with a full-time job took up most of your time and you’ve told him being occupied with all these responsibilities helped take your mind off of his absence. As soon as he walked in to the bedroom, he was quick to notice how empty the room was. Your vanity was cleared of all your makeup and jewelry, the table that your books and laptop occupied was empty and when he went to open your side of the closet, it was empty.

Mark didn’t know if he wasn’t responding to the fact that you were gone because he was in disbelief, because he thought this was a terrible nightmare that he was soon to wake up from or because he didn’t want to accept the fact that you actually left. It took him a few minutes to recollect his thoughts, but once he accepted that this was actually happening and that you took all of your things and moved out, he found himself sinking to his knees and let out the most heartbreaking, gut wrenching sob.

Being a KPOP idol wasn’t the most easiest job out there, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love traveling the world and getting to perform in stadiums and arenas alongside of his six best friends. Other than the rumors made about him, the mistreatment he and the rest of Got7 experienced from their company and the unnecessary hate he’d receive on a daily basis, the only other thing he hated about being an idol was having to go months without being with you; his soulmate, the love of his life, his person.

If Mark had the choice, he’d take you on tour with him. He was happiest whenever he was with you and each time he had to go on tour or travel around Asia for all the different photo shoots or reality tv shows he’d star in, he couldn’t find it in himself to completely enjoy the opportunity in its entirety. The love Mark had for you was stronger and deeper than anything in the entire world including his career.

He’d tell you time and time again that he would give up all the fame and success if it meant getting to spend every possible moment with you. You were his safe haven; his home. Every time something went wrong in his life or he felt like things weren’t going his way, he’d always run to you in search of comfort and salvation. Sure, he’d find confidants in his members and some of his family members, but nobody understood him the way you did.

Nobody knew what to say to make him feel better like you did. Nobody’s embrace and the sound of their heartbeat against his chest made him feel calm and at ease like yours did. It was in that moment of self pity that he realized, he was the reason why you left. When the two of you first met over four years ago, you were suffering from both anxiety and depression at the time.

There were days where you would get sad and even cry for no reason and sometimes you’d end up hyperventilating or feel like you weren’t able to breathe and not know the reason. From the time you were younger, you had a tendency of shutting people out of your life completely before they even got to really know you. Your parents never understood why you hardly ever had any friends, up until the day they got a call from your 8th grade counselor suggesting that you go see a therapist.

Although you hardly ever talked to anybody unless you really had to, it was hard not to hear about the countless rumors about you being mysterious and weird on top of receiving the nickname “ghost girl” because it was as if you didn’t even exist. On the fateful day you were introduced to the devastatingly handsome idol, your life changed entirely for the better.

You were interning at a hospital as a receptionist when he came storming in to the emergency room trying his best alongside of BamBam to help carry Yugyeom inside. It was in that moment that you learned the youngest boy sprained his ankle while practicing some choreography and you were quick to register him in the system and luckily the emergency room wasn’t all too crowded when the three of them arrived.

Both BamBam and Mark stayed in the waiting room for a couple of hours until BamBam decided to get some food for the two of them. When he left, Mark found himself walking over to you with the intention of getting to know you. He was too busy focusing on trying to get Yugyeom medical attention to really talk to you, but once the nurses took over, he got to admire your beauty and took the chance to see if you were interested in going on a date with him. You were extremely beautiful; there was no doubt about it.

Mark had a hard time keeping his eyes off of you and snuck some looks here and there to prevent BamBam catching on to his attraction to you, but once the younger boy was gone, he planned on making it aware that he admired how well you worked under pressure and how you did whatever you could to make sure Yugyeom was in the right hands and that he was going to be okay. In the hour that BamBam was away, Mark learned that you were currently in the process of becoming a registered nurse.

Not only were you going to school full time, but you were also a resident assistant and worked as a receptionist to help pay for medical school. You also got to learn that Mark was a KPOP idol and that he and the rest of Got7 were in your hometown for two weeks for a concert. The two of you immediately hit it off; you fell for his charm, his gentle personality and his gorgeous looks. He fell for your passion, determination, strength and your beauty was just a bonus. In both his free time and yours, you both went on multiple dates.

Since it was his first time in your hometown, you took him to places that you loved visiting and hoped that he would end up loving each and every location just as much as you did. There were a few kisses shared, whispers of interest and adoration for one another, a couple of hugs and many cuddles. You knew you should’ve told him about your mental state, but you were afraid of scaring him away before you really got to knew him.

With everyone who tried to befriend you and actually wanted to be apart of your life, you let them know right off the bat that you weren’t normal. You didn’t want to make friends with someone only for them to judge you for your mental disorders but for some reason, Mark was different. He made you laugh and smile so effortlessly. His smile sent your body in flames. For the first time in a very long time, you were genuinely happy.

A few days before they went to fly to the next country, Mark asked you to be his girlfriend. He told you that he was falling for you faster than he’d like to admit and that he’s never felt this way about anyone before. Deep down, you knew you should’ve said no. He already had so much on his plate; dealing with someone with so much baggage was not what he needed. The last thing Mark needed in his life was to become a babysitter and personal therapist to a grown women suffering from both anxiety and depression. But you couldn’t.

You were selfish. You wanted Mark just as much as he claimed to have wanted you; which is why you weren’t surprised when you found yourself saying yes while immediately smashing your lips against his. Mark informed you that dating an idol wouldn’t be easy, especially since the two of you would be in a long distance relationship; but he promised you that he would try his best to contact you as much as he could and that the two of you would plan to visit each other when time permitted you to do so.

Since Mark was the first boyfriend you’ve had, you weren’t used to the idea of a long distance relationship. You didn’t know what to expect. The idea both worried you as much as the thought of dating him excited you. There were millions of girls who adored him and he was surrounded by so many beautiful idols, actresses, models and singers. What if he realized that he could do so much better than you and that you were a mistake; a brief lapse of judgement he made because he was lonely and you were one of the only girls that weren’t throwing themselves at him?

Your conscience always tried to make you feel bad, no matter how happy you were or how good things were going in your life. Right now, Mark was the only thing keeping you going and you tried your best to push the negative thoughts to the back of your mind, but it was only natural for you to thing negatively. Mark in more or less words was the perfect boyfriend. Even if he was extremely busy, he made it a point to contact you twice a day; once he woke up and right before he went to bed.

If he had more time, he spent all of it talking to you. As much as you would prefer to see him on a daily basis, you could still feel so much love from him through computer and phone screens. When he didn’t have any schedules or when you went on vacation, you’d fly up to Korea or he’d fly down to spend time with you. The more you got to spend time and physically get to see your boyfriend, everything seemed to be okay.

You were so focused on being in the moment with Mark that you didn’t have time to be sad. However, when he would leave, or when you’d have to return back home, you could physically feel your chest get heavy. It was your fault; you made him the only reason for your happiness. You and Mark hardly ever got in to arguments but when you did, it got really bad for you mentally.

Each and every time you’d fight, you would always blame yourself even if it wasn’t even your fault. Mark had a tendency to get jealous and in the first few months of your relationship, you became aware that Mark was extremely protective over you. You didn’t understand where his insecurities came from; if anything you were the one who should be envious and insecure.

You’d see the way he flirted with other idols every now and then. He was also very flirtatious with his fans and you knew it was all apart of the idol image, but that didn’t make you feel any better. As much as you wanted to voice how you felt, you were afraid that it would spiral in to a conversation you weren’t ready for. You were afraid that he would find out about your illness and look at you in a different light. You were afraid that he would finally come to the realization that he deserved so much better than you.

You were afraid of losing him.

Dating Mark had its ups and downs, but you loved him with every fiber of your being. He was your safe haven; your favorite hiding place; an escape from the real world and you knew you’d be okay as long as you had him in your life. Things were going very good for the two of you for the last few years. After graduating from college over two years ago, you applied for a working visa in order to move to Korea and be able to see Mark more often.

He asked you to move in with him before you could even arrive and you were honestly over the moon. Time and time again, you’d find yourself daydreaming about getting to go to sleep in his arms and waking up next to him. He was the definition of a gentleman and made sure to remind you just how much he loved you and thought the world of you on a daily basis. On multiple occasions, Mark would bring up marriage and how he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you.

There was nothing more you wanted in this world than to marry Mark; the only person that meant anything to you; the only source of your happiness, but you were afraid that you’d ruin your relationship somewhere down the line like you ruined everything else. During your entire relationship, you did your best in hiding your mental illnesses; you’d suffer alone and cry whenever he wasn’t around. You would go and see a therapist while he was working; you really wanted your relationship with Mark to last and in order to do so, you had to change yourself to be someone Mark would be proud to date.

Unfortunately, there was nothing that could help you. When Got7 went on tour again, this time it would be for an entire year. You didn’t think you would be able to live without him for an entire year. Sure, he’d have some breaks and return back to Korea every now and then and you could visit whatever country they were in, but it just wasn’t enough. While he was away, the voices only grew louder and so did your insecurities and negative thoughts.

You’re too fucked up to be loved.

You’re crazy for thinking a guy like Mark could ever like you.

He can do so much better than you.

He’s probably cheating on you.

You’re only holding him back from so many things.

If he knew how insane you really were, he’d leave in an instant.

You tried your best to ignore the voices; tried to pretend as if there was nothing wrong with you. Tried to pretend that you could maybe one day actually become normal and be able to live without a care in the world, but that kind of life could never be yours. Mark was a blessing; an angel on earth; a beautiful distraction and you would be selfish if you allowed to let this relationship continue.

The thought of no longer having Mark in your life felt like a stab in the chest. A life without Mark was not one worth living, but you couldn’t keep doing this. You were only hurting him the longer you dated him for. While he was gone, you decided you would pack your bags and leave him completely. It took a few weeks to come to that decision, you were so stubborn and you knew you’d regret it one day, but you wanted to leave him before he could leave you.

Since you were still so in love with him and would probably always be in love with him, you kept in contact with him and did your best to make sure that he didn’t sense that something was wrong. He would call you and tell you all about his day, how much fun the concert was and that he missed you, but he never asked you how you were doing. He always sent you pictures, but he no longer asked for any. You felt as if he was slowly falling out of love with you. He didn’t have to say it and even if he was great with reaching out to you, it felt like you were more like a friend to him rather than his girlfriend.

When you moved out completely and made your way back home, you cried for what felt like hours. If being away from him was already so upsetting, what more now that you were running away from your relationship; from him? You thought it was what was best for him; but it was slowly killing you. There were so many times where you wanted to tell him the truth.

For all you knew, he could be extremely understanding and would want to do whatever he could to help you; yet the chance of him laughing in your face were even higher. Mark had problems of his own and was very vocal about anything that was bothering him. Shouldn’t he have felt as if something was wrong since you never complained once about anything?

You were a licensed nurse, studying to get your bachelor’s degree in a country you weren’t familiar with. You were all alone when Mark was in and out of the country. Wouldn’t he think that there was a chance you were struggling and having a hard time? Even if you didn’t say anything, did he not have the smallest amount of common sense to put two and two together? As the days went by, you no longer felt butterflies swarm in your tummy when you looked at him.

The thought of him no longer made you smile like an idiot. He wasn’t the same man who told you silly hospital puns to get your attention all those years ago. He no longer made you happy and that’s how you knew it was the end. When the only source of your happiness no longer made you happy, there was no point in staying with him anymore. Mark was in a fetal position, crying on the floor for almost the entire day.

Where did you go? Why did you leave? You were just talking to him a few days ago, how long were you planning on leaving for? He wanted to call you to get the answers of his many questions. Did you no longer love him? Did you grow tired of the distance? Were you okay?

When his sobs slowly settled down, he stood up with the tiny amount of energy in his body and went on a search for his phone. He didn’t know what he was going to say to you; but he just needed to hear your voice. He wanted you to tell him something happened with your family and you had to go be with them but that you’d come back later. In that moment of self pity, your last phone call came back like a slap in the face. At the time, Mark didn’t think your words meant anything but now that you were gone, they made so much sense and he hated it. Hated himself.

“You know if one day, we’re no longer together, I want you to know that I will always love and support you. You will always be my person Mark, even if you find someone else and I’m no longer yours.”

Why didn’t he realize the distance earlier? There was obviously something different about the way you would talk and the tone of your voice. It no longer had that sweet, bubbly intonation it used to have. You also never contacted him as much as you used to. Whenever he told you he loved you and he missed you, he felt as if you said it just to say it. Before he could continue searching for his phone, it was then that he saw the tiny little post-it note on his pillow and once he finished reading it, he released an ear piercing scream of frustration.

“Dear Mark,

I’m sorry, but I just can’t do this anymore. I’m not happy, I haven’t been for a long time. I don’t thing I ever was genuinely happy once in my life until I met you and honestly the only moments I experienced happiness were when I was with you. Unfortunately, nothing made me happy anymore; including you. I felt as if I was preventing you from reaching your fullest potential. I wish you nothing but health and success. I’m going to miss you so much Mark. Thank you for showing me so much love and happiness for the time being. You’re an amazing person Mark and I meant what I said when I told you I’d love you forever. Please don’t come looking for me. It’s for the best.

Sincerely, y/n.”

Would we be better off by now If I'd have let my walls come down? Maybe, I guess we'll never know You know, you know

Before you go Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather So, before you go Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless So, before you go

#got7 imagines #got7 #got7 mark #mark tuan #mark tuan imagines #got7 angst

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katierosefun · 3 years ago

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andddd july flew by, and i’m here to give everyone an unasked for report of...things...i watched / read / listened to this month because why not

kdramas:

miss hammurabi

aaaah oh my god the way i told myself that i won’t be watching any more legal kdramas because your honor stressed me out so much--but god. i wound up watching this and fell in love with it so fast? miss hammurabi is about a rookie judge (the gal on the right) disrupting the judicial system with her strong sense of justice. i really wasn’t too sure if i’d like her, but oh god. i fell in love with her so fast, with her desire to make the world a better place and her ability to smile even though she’s had a horrific life of her own.

honestly, i really just loved this show, mostly for how it covers so many issues in the courthouse, from working overtime to the emotional fatigue to the frustrations with those brought to court to the actual cases themselves, which are all civil court things (so we get some stuff about sexual harassment, child custody, medical malpractice, etc). this show really demonstrated that each of these cases were important--and also...really hard-hitting. i think i cried at least once per episode just because...yeah. i’m reminded that no one goes to the courthouse because they’re happy or because they’re having a good time, and it really is the job of judges and lawyers to keep a cool head and execute justice the best they can.

so basically: i loved this show. i loved it a lot more than i thought i would, and that’s always a good thing. there’s also not a whole ton of romance here either, if you’re looking for a show that’s not really too deep into that. it’s def. more focused on depicting the legal field, as well as all of the complications that come with that. as a result, there’s a lot of heartbreaking moments in the show, but there’s also many, many, many uplifting ones that reminded me a lot of why i personally want to enter the legal field. so if you’re looking for a show that might restore your faith in humanity, then i def. recommend this kdrama!

beyond evil

so.....it’s no secret that i’ve been mildly obsessed with this show. i binge-watched it in the span of...i think four (4) days, so that’s averaging about four episodes (4 hours) a day. let me just say...i was kind of on the fence about watching this, but now i’m really glad that i did because whooo boy, i was in for a ride. basically, this show is about lee dong sik, who was accused of murdering his sister (amongst others) 20 years ago...and han ju won, the young detective / inspector who’s trying to track down the murderer (who he believes is lee dong sik).

lots of other things happen, but that’s the least spoiler-y summary i can give of this show because....whooooo boy, there’s just so many twists and turns in this show? as soon as you start thinking you have everything figured out, this show tosses in another thing that reminds you of just how clueless you actually are. that said though, none of the twists felt out of place--they all felt very planned and very smart, so kudos to the writers for that!

overall, i hella enjoyed this show--the plot, the characters (who all want to do the right thing, but they’re all very jaded in their own ways which makes being a 100% good person basically impossible in this monster of a town), and, of course, the relationship between dong sik and ju won. there was just an absolutely fascinating push and pull between their relationship, lots of distrust and mocking each other in the beginning...only to slowly but steadily grow into trust and respect for each other (and in my head, def. something more....but lol i’ll let you guys decide on that for yourself ;))

i.....genuinely loved this show. i found this show just incredibly smartly written, and all the characters were incredibly intriguing? and the relationships were all fascinating to me? just. god. this show ripped me apart so many times, and i loved it all the more for it. like. guys. i wrote or started writing about six fics for this show in the span of 48 hours because i love it that much.

movies:

the handmaiden

ohohoho this movie has been on my to watch list for the LONGEST TIME, and i was glad that i gave myself some time to watch this movie at the start of the month, because...whoooo boy, it was so good. this movie is inspired by the book the fingersmith by sarah waters, only whereas i think the book took place in victorian england, this movie takes place in japan-occupied-korea. sook hee, a pickpocket, is hired by a conman to persuade the secluded lady hideko to marry him. the conman plans to later inherit hideko’s wealth and send hideko off to the madhouse.

many things happen over the course of this movie, and i’m not going to spoil anything, but oh boy...oh boy. i mean, this movie is pretty well-known for the main relationship between the two protagonists, sook hee and hideko. the romance was such a ride, and i thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of it. this movie really said “be gay, do crime” in the best way possible.

as a quick warning though, this movie definitely is erotic. i kinda knew that heading into the movie, and i was still a little caught off-guard. so maybe if you’re a little squicked out by sex/erotica in general, i’d maybe skip over this movie. that said, this movie was beautifully filmed, with beautiful writing, and the cast was just perfect. i don’t think i’ve seen a movie so beautifully or smartly crafted like this before, and i’m very glad i watched this film.

the meg

let me caveat by saying....i watched this because my brother wanted to watch it, so i sat through this movie and...y’know? it wasn’t awful. kinda predictable as far as shark movies go, but it wasn’t bad! i found myself enjoying it a little more than i thought i would...? but basically, this movie is about, you guessed it, an underwater research facility that was just looking into a deeper part of the ocean and etc. surprise, they found! a megalodon. multiple megalodons! cue the chaos.

so...there were definitely some more suspenseful moments. i shouted “these people just KEEP FALLING OFF THE BOAT” a few times. there was one character who i was like “oh man he’s gonna be the villain isn’t he :( darn :(” to “oh hey he has a heart” to “oh never mind” to “ooph”. there were some more slightly emotional moments, but?? not particularly thought-provoking or impactful. so like? overall? it was one of those movies where like....it’s not bad, it’s not really good, but! hey, not all movies need to be incredibly deep to be even somewhat enjoyable! (and like, i mostly just enjoyed watching this movie because my brother and i cracked commentary all throughout it, much to my father’s chagrin.)

music:

so, apparently my music taste changes when i’m thinking about something that’s not star wars related, and i saw a bit of that when i was making this playlist for lee dong sik and han joo won from beyond evil. as spotify works, it wound up with me adding a few of my songs that i thought fit them, and then i wound up going into the radio part of my playlist and listening to a lot of new songs, and i just have to list some of my new faves here:

let me follow by son lux: you know when you hear a song that just feels so...strangely cinematic? like, you get all kinds of vivid images in your head and stuff? this was def. one of those songs. it’s quiet, and there’s something weirdly...ephemeral about it? that’s the only way i can describe it. and mildly haunting. and mildly tragic. idk why, but i think big fans of tragedy & the patroclus/achilles kind of feel might like this song. it’s just. god. i spent 2 hours sitting in my bed just listening to this song on loop.

not in the same way by 5 seconds of summer: this is a public scolding @ 15 year old me who thought it was lame to like 5sos just because they were getting popular. boo, 15 year old caroline and her “i’m a weirdo, i’m not like other girls or other people my age” phase! because 5sos actually slaps, and this was one of my fave songs? idk. another weirdly cinematic song. the refrain is just chef’s kiss, in the kind of rambly way that leads to a shout. i love that kind of stuff.

start of time by gabrielle aplin. bro...the way gabrielle aplin’s voice brought me straight back to 2014-2016 era caroline...but weirdly, i haven’t heard this song from her before? and bro. bro....i’ve never wanted to run to the top of a hill and watch the sunrise with a loved one so bad in my whole life. god. idk. if you need a song that makes you feel like. things just might get better. this one’s for you.

sedated by hozier: okay, so i’ve only ever listened to a handful of hozier songs in my whole life (i know, i know, how can i bicon like myself not listen to hozier 24/7? le sigh), but bro.....bro. i get it now. i get why people screech about hozier. i already liked his music before, but...ah. idk. something very powerful about this song. i now understand why people want to lie down in the middle of the woods when they listen to his music.

#caroline recs #i didn't watch or read a whole ton of things because....super deep into lsat prep now #but yee here we are

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lightningbugqueen · 4 years ago

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Hey, to all my creators, especially writers, here’s a little uplifting story I wrote. Enjoy.

Lillian fiddled with her hands nervously as she put one foot in front of the other, forcing herself into the lobby. The large, clean building was filled to the brim with young adults and the occasional older person. The room echoed with shrieks of excitement, friends calling out for one another, and people selling their wares. It was like an enormous medieval market, with blacksmiths, cobblers, and jousting knights except for one thing: this place was for the nerds.

Lillian was not one to lie to herself; she was a major nerd. From a young age, comic books and fantasy epics had been her thing, and it never went away with age. Now, at 22 years old, Lillian Bailey was a published fantasy novelist who wore a shirt with the Gallifreyan word for Kryptonite on it and was over the moon to be invited to a comic con. She had been to tons of these conventions and hadn’t felt this nervous since her very first one. However, she supposed, this was her first one in a way. It was her first one coming as an author, rather than a reader.

So, this enormous room chock full of comic book and movie crazed people should have been home. Unfortunately, today was a very special day.

She tugged on her lucky gray sweater and looked around the room again. Seeing no one she knew, and feeling the panic rise up inside of her, Lillian pulled her phone out of her brown messenger bag and called her publisher, Maeve Collins.

“Yeah?” Maeve said on the first ring, her trademark gum snapping in her jaws over the phone.

“I have no clue where I’m supposed to be right now,” Lillian said, her voice speeding up like it always did when she was nervous, “And there are like, five bajillion people here right now when I’d really rather it be five. Or none, now that I think about it.”

“Right uh, where are you?” Maeve asked, and Lillian could hear keyboards clacking on the publisher’s side.

“ I just walked in the entrance, I’m standing inside the door.”

“Ok, look to your… left,” Lillian hummed her agreement, “Now, do you see a door with a yellow sign on it?”

“Yeah,” Lillian caught sight of a flash of yellow and headed that way.

“Ok, that sign should say ‘author entrance.’ Go in there, there’ll some like, techies, or whatever to get to ready for the panel. Just, hang out back there if you want to, but I’m pretty sure you can look around too. Who knows, you might find some fans.”

Lillian scoffed at this. She had told Maeve countless times since she was invited to the con that there wouldn’t be any actual fans of hers here.

She hung up and found the door, where she flashed her ID at the guard who let her slip past him.

Inside was what appeared to be some sort of green room. She didn’t recognize any of the dozen people there, which meant this must be the place for the lesser-known authors. As Maeve had said, some teenagers in mostly black clothing ran up to her and handed her a packet about where she was supposed to be and when. They explained that while she was required to show up in an hour to get ready for the panel, until then she could go anywhere in the building her badge gave her access to. She was not allowed to sign anything until after the panel, although she could take selfies. As if anyone would want to do either of those with her.

Lillian grabbed a coffee to settle her nerves (not the smartest choice) and a muffin. She ate her food and drank her coffee, which only gave her the jitters, before giving in to the urge to move around. Despite her fear of the hordes of fangirls outside, the nervous silence inside the green room and the knowledge that at least she had once been one of the fans urged her back out the door.

People were everywhere. The place was crawling with teenagers especially, and Lillian couldn’t remember when this had felt like fun to her. Sure, she still liked the same stuff, but it was all so overwhelming. She couldn’t see over anyone’s headed, there were stands and crowds everywhere, and it was all so much more hectic than she remembered.

Eventually, she settled on heading over to a stand holding all of the newest comic books, hoping to get the latest Harly Quinn she missed.

Suddenly, Lillian heard the telltale high pitched screeches and “OMG!”s that came with a famous person showing their face. She spun around towards the ruckus, hear braid accidentally slapping her face, and saw three girls pointing right behind her. She searched over her shoulder, but couldn’t see anything but confused faces just like hers. As she continued looking for the supposed celebrity, Lillian felt a tap on her shoulder. It was one of the previously screaming girls, all of whom had come up and crowded behind her.

“Hi, uh, are you Lillian Bailey?” one of the girls asked.

“Um, yeah. How do you know me?” Lillian was very confused, especially considering these girls had been freaking out over a still unidentified celebrity only moments before.

“You wrote ‘Out of the Ashes,’ right?”

“You’ve read my book?” Could these girls be excited over… her?

“OMG, it was you! Didn’t I tell you, Kristy? Yes, I’ve read your book, it’s just my favorite book ever! It’s got adventure, magic, war, and finally some good representation of an LGBTQ character!”

“Holy cow!” Lillian exclaimed. She was overwhelmed, but this time in a good way, “I’m so happy you liked it! That was exactly the way I wanted people to perceive it! Also, you really think it was good? I tried not to make Alex too stereotypical, but also make it accurate.”

“Are you kidding me?” the same girl asked, “It was amazing! I also can’t believe you were so young when you wrote it! Oh, right, uh, manners. I’m Courtney, this is Kristy,” she gestured to the girl on her left, “and that’s Lyla,” she pointed to the girl on the other side of Kristy, “and we’re all super huge fans of yours. We started this book club in our school reading your book, and one of the main reasons we came today is because we heard you were speaking. Wait, is that weird? It feels a little weird to tell you that.” Courtney blushed when she finished, but Lillian was so flattered she barely noticed. And, if there was one thing she knew how to do, it was to fangirl.

“Thank you so much, that means so much to me!” she said, “And no, it’s not weird. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve been in your shoes countless times. Meeting someone who wrote a book that important to you, wow, by the way, is always crazy. It always feels like you really know the author already, because we pour our hearts and souls into our books. Listen, I can’t sign anything right now, but I would love to talk a selfie with you. Maybe I could hold up the book in the picture? I’ve got a copy here.” she pulled her copy, the second one ever made (the first didn’t leave her house) out of her messenger bag.

The girls squealed and nodded their heads. Courtney pulled out her phone and they all crowded around Lillian. Courtney took what must have been a hundred photos before they all thanked her profusely and rushed off, leaving Lillian in their dust.

She found an empty corner of the room and slumped against the wall, putting a hand to her forehead.

People, actual people, liked her writing. Liked it as much as she had liked Harry Potter or the Lord of the Rings. How in the world was that possible? Three years ago she had been Courtney, rushing around with her friends, looking for their favorite writers, but now she was the writer. This had always been her goal, not even to be known, just for people to find something in her writing.

Lillian had always acted like she believed in herself, convinced others that she did, but she never quite thought she would get right here, right now. And she did it. She finally, finally did it. Lillian Bailey, once a teenage girl who loved Doctor Who and The Hobbit, was a published author with people who like her writing. Loved it, actually.

If there was anything more incredible than getting right where she was today, shaking with caffeine and nerves, face flushed and brow sweating, heart beating like the drums of the monsters in her story, Lillian had no clue what it was.

@deano-cas @gender-snatched @queven @themoosegoes-deanicandothis

#writing #story #fic #I wrote this for a class #But it made me smile #and gave me some hope #So I thought I'd share #I hope this makes you smile

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alovevigilante · 4 years ago

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Me: Ok. I’ve made an executive decision on behalf of all of us...

Me also: are you an executive?

Me: yes.

Me also: at what company?

Me: ours. Yours and mine.

Me 3: and mine too!

Me: yes, at threes company, ok? Will you just listen to me? (The other me’s sit, silent) thank you. Now, we have all come to terms with the fact that we’re 46 and still not sure where the hell we fit in in society, let alone a career to help aid it, right?

Other me’s: yes, Agreed, (hub hub etc...)

Me: ok, good. Well, not good, but yes, we all concur. Now, we, collectively, are a fucking mess, so I propose this: we start from scratch. At zero point, ok? Ok! Great!

Me also: um, question?

Me: yes?

Me also: I don’t mean to be a contrarian or anything, but we’ve been here on earth now for 46 years, and we’ve experienced a butt ton. So, how do you just scrap it all, and have that be something that’s widely accepted by society as a whole?

Me 3: yeah! Cause I saw this one “I love Lucy” where she couldn’t even audition for a tv show without having some experience.

Me: yeah, but we’re completely walking away from the entertainment industry...

Me also: yeah, but what are we going to do? Walk into a different profession, let’s say, being an astrophysicist, and they say, “hey lady, where are your degrees and your on the job training, & oh, I see here on your non resume that you have never even taken a physics class. Were you in a coma for 50 years or something?” And then we’ll look like an asshole.

Me: good point. So, since we can’t start at a zero point, how do we make life ok from where we’re at if we’re feeling lost and confused about what to do next?

Me 3: I dunno.

Me also: well, maybe we can mediate.

Me: eh. You feel like that?

Me 3: not particularly. Me also?

Me also: I was hoping one of you would do it for me...

Me: no.

Me 3: no.

Me also: fine. Any other ideas?

Me: well... how about thinking about shit.

Me also: that’s what got us in this mess to begin with!

George Carlin: hello ladies! May I be of some assistance here?

Me 3: why not? We’re plum out of ideas...

George: ok, well, let’s simplify a bit, Kari, singular, let’s chat.

Kari: hey George.

George: love the pic you choose to rep me.

Kari: yeah. You’re being a lil Italian when you talk with the garlic clove shaped hand you got going there. 🤌 🧄 🇮🇹

George: Yeah. I’m diggin it. But you know, in your mind, I’m one of the reasons you’re here in this ass place.

Kari: you are? how do you figure?

George: people don’t like the fact that you write on behalf of the deceased.

Kari: well, Tim burton did it in beetle juice and a lot of folks love him..

George: ok Kari, can I be Frank... Sinatra-like with you?

Kari: I dunno, can you?

George: yeah. Just pretend I’m sporting a fedora, a cigarette in one hand, and throwing my jacket back over my shoulder with the other looking at you coyly.

Kari: ok... if you want to... but is the cigarette in his pocket? Cause if it’s lit, that shits gonna hurt his Netherlands eventually....

George: (like Sinatra) no. Now listen up, baby, it’s not normal to write on behalf of a dead person that was not a character, and that whom was once alive. People get touchy about it. We have friends still alive that knew us and probably don’t dig it.

Kari: I see.

George: so it seems like we’re at a crossroads here. What do you want to do about it?

Kari: do about what?

George: your writing! It’s freakin everyone out! Kari, look, you know how normal Hollywood is, ok? They are all normal, non creative, in the box gladly thinker kinda people...

Kari: they are?

George: yes!!! Come on, keillor, get with the program! You are too far fetched for these folks! They want normalcy, and sameness, and only all the shit that’s ever been shat!

Kari: George, are we talking about Hollywood California, here? Or Hollywood podunk nah? Because Hollywood California is where all the creatives go to create!

George: right! And guess what, Kari Keillor! You are not welcomed in Hollywood, California! They have a sign up with your picture on it at the airport that says, “beware! No to this woman! Too much with the weirdness! She writes dead people!”

Kari: I write live people too... hey, do I have a cowboy hat and a mustache on for my mugshot on that sign?

George: nice one Cookie Monster! Well, Keillor why not?! You may as well, because this story has as much validity as any other story you make up and make worse in your head cause you’re sensitive about of your writing...

Kari: you’re the one that said all that shit! You planted it in my head!!!

George: so I did, but remember, I’m a facet of you. So, decide. Is there any validity to what I/you said?

Kari: how the hell should I know?! I haven’t been in lax recently...

George: right! So you never know until you try talking to some people.

Kari: I’ll call the airport... Listen, George, I’ll be perfectly Frank Sinatra with you now, ok.?

Don rickles: no mere woman can be like ole blue eyes...

Kari: Shut your misogynistic, ass-kissing pie hole, Pickles.

Pickles rickles: oh fuck... she does it to me every time...

Frank Sinatra:, you tell him, baby!

Kari: I’m 46. (Back to George Carlin) Anyway, look George, I have had a few successful people from my entertainment past either shun or block me for no apparent reason, so I’m pretty sure that I’m not well received again, for whatever reason... probably because I wrote the truth about a second city class I took when I was 16, about the current state of snl which I am completely unfamiliar with because I do not watch it, and the way comedy has changed or not over the last many years. Come to think of it, maybe it was because I love frank oz, and frank was mad cause I wrote that belushi John was teasing him and calling him an asshole, another ironic statement because clearly frank oz, NOT an asshole, was many of the muppets for years, and Frank is one of my idols! (Not a true central religious figure to me, but someone I admire a lot...)

Frank Sinatra: who loves ya, baby??

Kari: (to Frank) kojak. (Back to herself) Or it could be because i called bill murray, the beloved patron saint of comedy, an asshole like me, yes, I said like ME, out of jest and irony, because yes, he cared about the kid in meatballs making friends, ok?! That’s probably it. & yes, i was kinda stoned when I wrote it, and also yes, I still can’t figure out why the movie was ducking named “meatballs”, cause there wasn’t an Italian to be seen in it! Ok?! And come to think of it bill as Peter venkman in ghostbusters 2, written in part, by him I think but let’s just say yes cause it supports my point, called all of New York City and it’s tri state area, all 3 million people, miserable assholes, and they took a head count, & they still (probably mostly) all love him! & that shit was good (I love that movie so much) and it was made in 1989, and that was a long ass time ago, ok? And some of those people, have procreated since then, and again, they all love bill Murray and now those “miserable asshole’s” kids, ALSO love Bill now! Double the miserable assholes! Why?! Because he’s funny, and much like me when I’m being tongue and cheek, he didn’t mean for people to take the shit he says seriously! See for yourself! https://youtu.be/t1gkRAWvxOs (1:15 on)

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So yes!!! I just think people are not into that kind of talk from me and me alone, even though it wasn’t coming from a mean or spiteful place. It was coming from a place of love for my craft, and of both frank oz, and bill Murray. The rest, as I say once again... I dunno....

George: Kari, frank just told you he loves you, and you blatantly ignored him...

Kari: no, he asked who loved me. He didn’t say he loved me.

George: Keillor, stop being so mean to the dead crooners, ok?

Kari: pickles isn’t a crooner! He’s a ye olde well paid curmudgeon who made fun of everyone like a jerk fach.

George: um, Kari...

Kari: no, ok? No! The difference between me and pickles, besides everything under the sun other than the fact we’re both human, is the fact that I am pointing out the obvious hypocrisy of the way we are set up as society, and wanting to heal it within myself to make it a more palatable world for me and my family and friends and acquaintances to live in. And pickles thought making fun of people was ok. What royal lineage did pickles come from that he’s able to rip on everyone the way he did? And even if he was of a royal bloodline so fucking what?! And dude got paid to be mean! And normal people made him rich and famous! And how did that become prevalent, let alone celebrated in this world?! Roast em! Yes! Hilarious.

Dean Martin: oh noooo... hey, listen pally...

Kari: dean, don’t get me started, ok? Cause I like you, I really do, but you know how I feel about that shit... Listen, Dean, you left a legacy here that was mostly great, but in my opinion needs a lil tweaking. Instead of “roasts” which people do to this day, and I can’t see how it can make the honoree feel anything other than like major ass, we should have “toasts” (copyright Kari keillor 3/19/21 actually before this date but I never published publicly...)

Pickles rickles: toasts?!? What is THAT supposed to mean?!

Kari: it means, my curious lil ornery pickles, that instead of roasting someone and being a mean rotter egg to them, you can “toast” them. Cheers to you, honoree, we salute you, in a hilarious way, by being honest about you but not vicious, viper like, and cruel. It’s where everyone laughs together cause it’s not a character assassination, instead of ripping on someone. It’s being funny, and yes, in a KIND and uplifting way. Where you actually celebrate the person being honored. Now, will that take a lil more brain power then the go-to usual jerk fach? Yes. But, it’s a challenge I hope everyone will accept for the good of all of us. Cause I guarantee that no one walks out of a roast feeling great. And if they do, cause they thought they killed or whatever, they probably did. And not in a good way. And that, again, is ass. No one wins. It’s a short lived feeling, the feeling of “one upping” a person. It never makes you feel better about you in the long run.

Dean: I see. I think I’ll go work on my volare now...

Kari: see?!? Now THAT I like! It’s not at anyone’s expense!

George: oh shit.... kari.... Why do you give a fuck about all this?

Kari: you know why George? Cause this has become our accepted collective energy! The haves and the have nots! Take away your money and what have you got?! Who are you, without the people who have made you who you are?! People, make other people in the 3D reality we live in. So take away everyone’s cash money, homes, clothes, and all the cars, and all the shit, and what do ya got? A bunch of naked humans starring at our different body bits, ok?! We’re All the f’n same. So think about it. What are we each individually contributing energetically to the whole of us? What message are we sending the next generations In our every day lives? I’ll tell you what message. Whatever we feel about ourselves individually both good and bad. THAT’S what energy we all give, and receive from one another. That’s what we’re teaching the kids. They model themselves after how we feel, and how we choose to think, and how we decide to act toward others. So let’s all collectively recognize that, and how we treat other human beings and wake up first inside ourselves then beyond ourselves so we can all make the whole, better.

I am not an asshole or a human joke or any other kind of joke. I’m not going to cry over the fact that I’m not accepted by people who’s energies don’t match mine. And by the by, no one is a joke, no matter who they are, or what their socioeconomic standing is. So I don’t wear an ascot and a smoking jacket, and a neck full of gold chains and chest hair, holding a whiskey on the rocks with an umbrella in it saying “see that?! be somebody!” ok?! I’m not Steve Martin in the jerk, ok? https://youtu.be/tBfXTyzaUfQ

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I’m not even close to Hollywood! I live in the Midwest! I’m Kariwood, ok? And I’m not even kari wood, I’m no woods, ok? cause I’m pretty much never in the woods or the outdoors for that matter, so much so that I just purchased a sweatshirt that says, “indoorsy” on it, ok? True story! So yeah. Cause one time I was in Wisconsin in the woods, and I was thinking, “look at me! I’m in the woods! Weird, no?!” (Cause never in the woods, but I thought, I’ll give it a shot! What’s the worst that can happen?) And guess what? Despite my shower the night before, I felt something on the base of my skull the next morning, and I picked out a really nasty, creepy and scary tick. And it was alive, and disgusting, and wiggly. And I started screaming. And I am still freaked out to this day about it. And that happened at least 17 years ago. And I didn’t like it. So that’s how “non woods-y” I am... I’m not even a fan of woodsy the owl, ok?

So I don’t know how I feel about all that. All this to say that I am definitely not Hollywood, but yes, I am included, as a “somebody”. I may not be an award winning, keillor, but I am still somebody, and I may not be rich and famous, but yes, I am somebody, and I may have been on one trajectory and now I do t know what the heck I am now, ok? It’s true, and yes, I’ve posted this before and I’ll keep posting it until everyone in me gets on board with it, yes! I am still somebody because yes, dear me, we are all this: somebody! : https://youtu.be/tu0lNcrZjG8

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George: hard to argue with that.

Kari: eh. You know what I am, George?

George: yes, Kari. I know what you are. But do you?

Kari: well, I feel, like I’m one of those kids on Sesame Street sometimes, looking up at and intently listening to Jesse Jackson, wondering how to get from small to big, and from where I am, to the success that he reps, you know? The importance of being admired by many. Having a big platform to play on. A huge soapbox to stand on, you know?

George: yes. I get it, Kari, I really do. And we’ve all been there. But everyone’s story about themselves, is different. How we all got to where we are, was our own personal trajectory that we designed with our beliefs. And our thoughts. There’s no set pattern or manual to follow. The only energy you must follow, is your passion and your joy, aka the love. That’s it. So, if you want to be, and decide to be, you ARE Hollywood,. Because Hollywood isn’t a specific person or group of people, it’s a place, and an energy. Hollywood is what you make it to be with how you view it. You don’t have to “be” Hollywood to be in Hollywood...

Kari: you said I wasn’t allowed in Hollywood..

George: you may not be. All I’m saying, is that you are whatever you decide you are. The end.

Kari: well, am I or not? Cause I don’t want to go and be turned away. Besides, I love visiting olvera st.

George: Its a fine street, it is. Great margaritas... listen Kari, you cannot achieve anything in this life that you don’t truly believe is in the realm of your possibility. So yes! You can be, and pretty much are are Hollywood keillor, even if it’s in the Midwest in your own home.. You are creative, and love the arts, and are nutsy, and ballsy, and you may hold the title as being the first person to ever separate the two, and bring them back together in a scote sack, ok? So keep writing, and be yourself.

Kari: I dunno. But what I do know is this: I did it again...

George: did what?

Kari: reactivated all the shit memories and feelings from the past that I’ve felt about my career, allowing myself to relive all those fun feels of inadequacy and upset alllll over again.

George: aww, it’s happened to the best of us. Listen Kari, you are, in my humble not so humble opinion, since I’m still you, a loving person. So you reflect that way; with humor, and yes, absurdist, surreal comedy.

Kari: well, I’ll try.

George: You already do. Your credentials are superfluous. Your love and support of you no matter what you do moving forward is what you’ll feel when you choose to, and it’s available anytime you want to feel it. And when you feel that, it really doesn’t matter what you do.

Kari: ok, well, thanks George. It’s nice to know I have you around.

George: Kari, you were once told that you are golden, no?

Kari: well, I was told that I’ll be golden at some point moving forward doing whatever it is I choose to do.

George: right. So, when are you going to decide to experience that?

Kari: hopefully soon.

George: Kari, why do you chop to talk to and write about us “passed over folk”?

Kari: I dunno. I guess it’s cause I love and miss you guys in theory, even though I didn’t know you personally. And I like to re-experience your energy, as I appreciated and admired it. It helps me feel better.

George: you’re now golden.

Scene.

Appendices: if you choose to perform this scene, good luck. I’d like you to do it all in one breath, if you are a more advanced, and professional actor. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💕💕💕💕

#choose love #love matters #love manifestation #self reflection #self love #self care #self esteem #selfworth #self development #self improvement #self definition #self image #love yourself #george carlin #a love vigilante

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nightwingshero · 5 years ago

Text

All I Wanted

So...I did a thing. @sapphicvalhallas maybe I wasn’t as innocent as I claimed. Anyway, so I’m gonna be honest, I just wrote this out because I got inspired by a few songs. Mainly Misguided Ghosts and All I Wanted by Paramore. Hence the name. But...yeah.

“Do you think he’ll be happy?” I whispered, glancing up at Rowan as insecurity ate at my insides. She met me with a glowing smile as she stuffed the little booties in the gift bag with the paper.

“I know he will be. Having a miniature version of himself running around? He’s going to be ecstatic.”

I smiled, feeling reassured as I finished tying the bow around the plastic stick and setting in the bag. I was about two months, or at least, that’s what one of the doctors in the Project had said. Luckily, she still stuck with the doctor/patient confidentiality. The idea that the family was growing elated them, and I was curious if she had been more excited than I was. But that was what led us here, Rowan and I, away from her cabin in the woods with Jacob, and getting out of the ranch from John’s watchful eye.

If I was being honest, deep down I was terrified. So fucking terrified. The absolute joy the woman expressed, forced me to put a smile on my face, but I didn’t feel it. I went home, vomited up all the anxieties, fears, and trauma that went along with news like this for someone like me. Not that I was alone. No, many women have had to deal with stuff like I had, and I reminded myself of that. But to me? That defining moment haunted me enough that even the bliss twisted my nightmares into reality. Something that was supposed to be uplifting, showed me just how much my heart still bled.

But this was a new beginning, the real fresh start of my life, unlike what had happened when I first moved here. The blotched arrest, the constant fighting…falling in love with the enemy, and the ultimate betrayal. It was like I had free fallen into absolute chaos and it wasn’t until I realized what made me happy, that I was able to breathe.

“Wren?”

My eyes snapped back up to Rowan’s dark brown ones, a bit startled. “Hmm?”

Rowan frowned, leaning forward to squeeze my hand. “Hey, are you doing alright?”

“I’m fine! I was just deep in thought. Did you say something?”

She opened herself, but there was a sharp knock on the door, drawing both of our attention. Without waiting to be called in, Jane burst through the door. I smiled at the presence of my favorite redhead, something smart on the tip of my tongue, but I stop as her frantic eyes meet mine.

“Sister Wren, we need to leave. Now.”

Rowan glanced at me as my frown deepened. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

She swallowed, closing her eyes briefly. “The ranch. It was attacked. The alarm had been triggered.”

“When?” Rowan demanded. I couldn’t move, let alone speak, as I went cold.

“About 20-30 minutes ago—”

“That long?!” I shriek, shooting up. “How the hell am I just now hearing about this?” I stormed out of the room, heading outside with both women on my heel.

“I just found out—”

I yanked open the driver side door and climbed in. Jane looked at me in shock, but I didn’t care. I didn’t need my Chosen driving me around, I only relented sometimes for John’s sake. I didn’t trust Jane to throw caution to the wind. I glared at her through the window. “Get in the fucking car.”

She pursed her lips before climbing into the passenger side, Rowan climbing in the back. I didn’t think about seatbelts, I had barely given Rowan enough time to close the door. Gravel flies as I slaw on the gas, Jane looking at me like a crazed woman, and in this moment, I was.

“John is still at the bunker, right? Has he been informed?” I asked. “Fuck, Randy is at the house. Was he the one that called? I hope he’s okay.” Jane hesitated, not saying a word. I looked at her, but the second our eyes met, she looked away. “Is he at the bunker, Jane?” I breathed out, panic rising in my chest from her silence.

“Wren—”

“Damn it, Jane, where the hell is my husband?” I snapped. “He went to the bunker like he had planned, right? He told me this morning that that’s what—”

“He never left.” She whispered, but it was as if she screamed it straight in my ear, a ring beginning to sound. “He stayed home, he wanted to make sure he was home so he would have time to surprise you with a date night. He…he insisted that he wouldn’t beat you home from the bunker.”

The sound that escapes my throat is strangled as I grip the steering wheel tighter, my foot pressing down a little more. Rowan clutches my shoulder. “John is surrounded by Chosen all the time, there are guards stationed at your home 24/7, Wren. I’m sure he’s fine.”

I tried the best I could, but I began to panic, on the verge of hyperventilating as my mind ran wild with the possibilities. Finally, I turned on our drive with Jane insisting I slowed down. I paid her no mind as I left a trail of dust behind us. My heart sank as we passed the YES sign, bullet holes and blood stains tainting the white paint. Jane squeezed the door handle as we came around the corner, slamming on the brakes and coming to a skid.

Jumping out, the breath escaped from my lungs completely. Blood, bodies, and chaos covered the lawn of my very home. I staggered, my hand over my mouth as I saw faces of my own loyal followers and people I had once helped, lifeless. A few more of our people milled around, trying to do what they could to clean up the devastation, but their faces were grim, heartbroken and mournful for the family members they had lost. I looked crazed as some newer members spoke to our Chosen, shaken and a bit hysterical, as they eyed me.

“Is that--”

“The Judge, his wife. You know Sister Wren, don’t you?”

“Does she know?”

There words barely register, and I rushed to the house, not caring for a second if Rowan and Jane were with me. The hairs on the back of my neck had stood on end as I ran. Randy was with John, John was safe. I repeated it tom myself over and over as I made it through the threshold. My legs push harder to get me up the stairs faster, and I stumble to a stop as I come to the top.

The door is barely open, just ajar enough for me to see the sunlight coming through. My heart hammers against my chest as I take a step forward. Normally, he would either keep it shut or decide to keep it open wide. I shouldn’t be this scared of a door, but I’m shaking. Suddenly I’m a heroine in one of those horror movies I force John to watch. We’ll both laugh at my comparison to Laurie from Halloween, and that’s the only comfort I can cling to in this moment.

“John?” I called, taking another step. “Baby, are you okay?” Nothing, but silence. My breath quickens even more. “This isn’t funny, you stubborn ass. Just please tell me you’re okay.”

I picked up the pace when I got no reply, a panicked sob choking me. “Please be okay. For the love of God, baby, be okay.” I shove the door open, looking and seeing nothing at first. But then I take it in, the messy desk, papers scattered, his laptop on the floor, and that’s when I finally find him.

I’m on my knees in seconds, my hands on his chest, as the tears pour. His eyes are closed, a tint to his cool skin that doesn’t settle well with me. He’s blue. He’s too fucking blue. “Baby, I’m here. I got you.” I cry harder when he doesn’t move. I barely notice the blood soaking through my jeans. I’m too busy shaking him. “John, wake up, I’m here. It’s okay.” I pull at his hand to place it against my face, but its cold and it won’t stay. My eyes squeeze shut as a painful wail finally escapes, all my feelings refusing to be bottled any longer.

I grab him, pulling him on my lap as I cradle his head, my lips pressed against his forehead as I cry. I rock back and forth, because I don’t know what else to do. The movement disturbed something in his other hand, drawing my attention. The frame was broken and the glass shattered, but our wedding picture was still in decent condition. My rocking increases as I sob harder. “No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!”

I squeeze him harder, willing him to open his eyes. To cough, and scoff, only to make a stupid remark that would only make me smack him on the arm. To snap at me to stop because I’m making him dizzy. But none of that comes and I hear a distant shrieking as my hand fists his hair, placing my forehead awkwardly against his. I hadn’t had the chance to tell him, he would never know that I was carrying our child. And I was alone. I would have to do this all alone, without my partner, my anchor. It was crushing, I could barely breathe. As the soreness in my throat builds, I realize that I had been the one shrieking. “You promised! You swore to me that you would never leave me!”

Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me back, but I only held on to my husband tighter. I couldn’t, wouldn’t, let go. But the person was stronger. And I turned as they ripped me away and swung blindly. Jacob dodged it with ease as I tried to pull away, only to slam my fists against his chest. He pulled me forward, engulfing me in a hug as I collapsed against him. “He’s gone, Jacob. He’s gone.”

“I know.” Jacob replied, his voice gruff. He didn’t say anything else, didn’t offer condolences, just stood there as I fell apart. I pulled away, glancing to see Rowan and Joseph there in the doorway, both silently crying. “Get her out of here, Ro.”

Rowan nodded, gently pulling on my arm. I followed, allowing her to pull me along. I was too numb, too out of it to protest. This wasn’t real. This didn’t feel real. I wanted nothing more than to just go back to this morning, laying in bed with him laying on top of me and snoring lightly. I would give anything to go back to two nights ago, to relive the fight we had. The way that he had slipped down the stairs to carry me up from the stairs because I was too stubborn to sleep in our room. I wanted his arms around me.

“I’ll get you some tea.” Rowan whispered as she helped me to couch. I say nothing in response, and she leaves.

I had been sitting there what felt like hours, a mug full of cold tea in my hands. I had only been sipping it here and there. They had already carried him out, plans on what to do next being thrown around. I couldn’t believe it, even as I sat covered in his blood. The sound of someone clearing their throat drew my attention to see Joseph standing next to the now lit fireplace. I couldn’t remember when that had happened.

“May I join you?” he asked softly. I just nodded aboundingly in response, still struggling with finding words. So, it’s silent for a while, until he decides to break the silence. “I’m sorry for your loss, Wren. This is hard on all of us.”

I sniffed, glancing down at my cup. “I wasn’t expecting this. I didn’t think for a second that they would attack here, because…”

“Because of you?”

I looked at him, his soft eyes meeting mine. “I still have some friends…they didn’t exactly understand, but they love me. I thought that they wouldn’t attack either of us because of me. It was so stupid, because I lived in my own world where I believed that we were untouchable because I was an ally at one point. But I was wrong. I was so wrong. And John paid the price for my pride.” My voice broke as my shoulders sagged.

“That wasn’t pride, Wren. You wanted, and wished, for a happy future for the both of you. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“I can’t do this without him, Joseph. I just can’t.” I sobbed.

He placed his hand on my shoulder. “It will hurt for a long time, I know. But you can—"

“I’m pregnant…I’m pregnant and John’s dead, Joseph. He’s gone, and I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Joseph hesitated, a bit shocked at the reveal, but brushed it off. “He left you everything, Wren. You and the child are well taken care of. It’s in his will—”

“I don’t give a fuck about his will or his money!” I shrieked, my eyes squeezed shut as a broken sob wracked my body. I want my husband!” I began to shake, my breath quick. “Who am I without him? What am I if I don’t have him? How the hell am I supposed to do this without my other half? I can’t do this alone!”

“You are not alone.” He replied softly with passion. “I know you’re not religious, and you don’t believe in what I preach. But you hold a pivotal role in our community, an example of strong faith and leadership that people follow. This community is your family, Wren. We are your family.” Joseph whispered, his voice softly giving way to that Georgia drawl he could sometimes hide.

“False faith? I’m pretty sure that’s a sin, Joseph.” I sound hollow, a shell of myself as the words tumble out. Words that was meant to be something like a joke coming across robotically and empty. All I could do was stare at my blood covered hands numbly.

“You had faith in John.” His name cuts deeply and its enough for my eyes to meet Joseph’s. Despite the fact that they were technically the same color, they were so different than John’s. A serene calm vs the playful mischief that my husband always portrayed. “The trust you had in him, the love you had for him, created a loyalty that spread and touched those he was loyal to, bringing you into a family that welcomed you with open arms, that still accepts and loves you. Your faith in him was enough for that. And he…he loved you more than he loved himself.” My face contorted, fresh tears following the trails of old ones as the pain throbbed. “That was something John struggled with every day. He would take, because he loved himself more than he loved others. And you saw that, didn’t you? The night you first met him.”

“The Cleansing.” I replied lowly and Joseph gave a single nod.

“That’s right. And it was your fear of him not being able to love you in return, not as you did him, that drove you two apart before. My brother John was loved by few and feared by many. He wasn’t always like that. When we were young, he was full of joy, easily preyed upon. He wanted to watch the world burn. And after he met you, after this started, John would have done it all for you if he had to. Because he finally understood what I meant. He loved you more than he loved anything.”

“Except you.”

Joseph hummed, closing his eyes momentarily. “Do you have any siblings, Wren?”

I knew he already knew the answer, but I appreciated that he was giving me the courtesy and respect to offer me the chance to tell him myself. “No.”

“Well, when you have siblings, there’s this…feeling. This bond that is interwoven in your very nature to protect and love them. Jacob knows that better than all of us. But it isn’t a bond or a love you choose.” Joseph placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “You are the bond, the love, he had chosen. You’re what kept him in the light. At the end, it wasn’t Eden’s Gate that gave him the redemption he longed for…it was you.”

My face contorted as my heart twisted painfully. “He didn’t always do good, but he loved me. He loved this family and his people. He learned to love, Joseph. And for this to happen to him…?”

“We can’t explain the bad that happens. Only fight it with love and faith.”

I scoff lightly, but Joseph doesn’t say anything. “How did it happen?” I whispered. “Nobody has told me.”

Joseph shifted, removing his hand as he looked down at his book. “Jacob believes it was a sniper. Someone came in, and John fought, but it was a sniper that…”

I swallowed, clenching my teeth as I glared tearfully at the flames. “Grace.” I hissed. He glanced back at me as I dug my nails into the meat of my thigh.

“What do you plan to do?”

I looked at him, the fire in my eyes burning as my mouth twisted in a sneer. “What I’m meant to do. I’m the Judge, Joseph. So that’s what I will do. I will Judge their actions accordingly. All their sins, their transgressions.”

“And then?”

“And then I will release every once of Wrath that I have left for what they’ve taken from me.” My voice is icy and dark, but I don’t care. “They will not be given forgiveness. They aren’t worthy of it. And they’re going to realize just what John’s death has cost them. And I will show no amount of mercy.”

#deputy wren blake #the judge #john seed #rowan palmer #jane williams #jacob seed #joseph seed #Far Cry 5 #far cry oc #far cry fic #my writing

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theshy1sout · 5 years ago

Text

Poppy’s extraordinary playlist

You know, it will be a bit longer chapter. I told myself to use three songs per chapter. It definitely won’t be a rule - sometimes there will be more songs than three, sometimes less. I planned this fanfic to be 20 chapters long, but I feel like it can change XD

I also lost my inspiration for writing on the final of this chapter... heh... I hope you won't burn this crap.

Enjoy.

_________________________

Chapter 3

- I'm glad you finally came back - Doctor said, looking at Poppy suggestively.

She tried to smile widely and look like she's really sorry.

- I made many decisions in the heat of the moment and I really regret most of it - Poppy said honestly. - I'm sorry...

- Ok, ok, I get it - Doctor interrupted her. - We really need to talk about the results of your research.

Poppy's smile dropped on the floor with a crash.

- It's not bad - She said and Poppy breathed a sigh of the relief. - You have a little embryo of the tumor in your brain. We can easily cut it in operation. No problem. You'll take some medicines after that for a month and You'll forget about the tumor.

The doctor almost smiled being happy for that easy way to problem-solution. But Poppy was really nervous about the operation. She gulped so loud thinking about it.

- Is it... Hurt? - Poppy asked shyly.

- No, we'll fall you asleep and desensitize you - She said dispassionately, doing something on her computer.

Poppy took a deep breath. She knew she shouldn't have run of her problems and she mustn't have delayed the operation. But she was really scared. She decided to ask Creek if he could company her.

And then she realized that she left Creek yesterday without a word of explanation and didn't see him for a long while. A really long while. She had to find him and apologize.

- So... - Poppy tried to calm herself down during asking this question. - How fast should I go to the operation?

The doctor looked at her thinking.

- Can you go today?

- Today?? - Poppy asked nervously.

- Yes, I think we can do it today evening or only next Saturday - She said splitting her hands. - The sooner the better I think.

Poppy took another big deep breath, preparing herself for this decision.

- Ok - She forced herself to say that. - Let's do it tonight.

The doctor smiled and wrote something on the computer.

- Should I... - Poppy was afraid of answer on this question. - Should I stay in the hospital till the operation?

- No, I think it's not necessary - Doctor said and Poppy was relieved once again. - You have to come here two hours before, we have to prepare you for the operation, but until that you can leave the hospital. You can also bring with you some company to make your spirit up before cutting the tumor.

Poppy was really uplifted. She put her hand on her heart feeling big relief.

- Thank you so much - She said gratefulness.

- Eh, just leave my cabinet right now. There are so many patients sitting on the hall - She answered still looking at the computer and waving a hand toward Poppy.

Poppy laughed and thanked once again leaving the cabinet. She had to find Creek until the operation, but first, she wanted to visit her dad. From yesterday she felt like she wanted to visit him every day. They needed it.

She went into his room. Cause if he was retired King he got his own hospital room, but it made him more lonely. Poppy didn't want to tell the whole Village that their lovely King Peppy was dying in the hospital but maybe if she'd do, he would be less forlorn. Trolls would want to visit him every day, so... Why not? But it'd make him more tired, maybe he really needed rest right now.

Poppy decided to ask him.

- Hi, dad - She greeted him with a tender smile and hugged him as tight as she could.

- Hello, sweetie - Peppy said smiling widely. - How's you going?

- Em, daddy... I've got a tumor too - Poppy said nervously.

Peppy's smile melted.

- No no no, but it's ok - She tried to comfort him. - I have an operation tonight. It's the only embryo so they'll cut it off easily. Don't worry about me. I’m only a bit nervous... about the operation - She added, rubbing her arm.

- Hey, you are the bravest woman in the village - Peppy said squeezing her hang and smiling comfortably. - It will be ok.

Poppy smiled at him a bit sadly.

- There’s something more in your mind - Peppy said trying to catch her look.

- I’m just thinking about... - She hesitated a bit. - Should I tell trolls that you’re in the hospital? Maybe they would visit you and you wouldn’t be so alone.

Peppy stared at her narrowly.

- You know I don’t need it - He answered after a while. - I like peace and silence.

- Are you sure? - She asked uncertainly.

He answered something, but she didn’t hear it. She felt like room filled by slow music. Poppy looked around and then came back her look to her daddy. He started singing:

Say what's on your mind 'Cause I can't read you now My hands can't figure out How to hold you like they don't know you

She felt as he held her hand a bit tighter. She couldn’t hold his sight. She looked down feeling guilty for some reason.

Wanna dream crazy dreams, be a team like we used to Share a drink, sleeping bag, anything like we used to Wish I could share all doubts with you like I used to, like I used to do

- Okay, there is something on my mind! - Poppy interrupted him sharply, closing her eyes so tight.

Peppy blinked like he didn’t expect she could react that suddenly.

- But please don’t think I’m crazy - She went on. - Perhaps... I am crazy... Dad, I’m... I’m hearing trolls thoughts - Poppy finally looked into his eyes. - I hear them singing their thoughts. To me. Out loud. Trolls sing to me their thoughts. - She gulped. - I feel like a nut.

Peppy stared at her shocked. She hoped he didn’t get her as she was joking. She found her eyes wet as she thought it would be possible. She stayed silent on the edge of her seat.

- I heard the doctor singing a depressing song - She continued trembling. - I heard the whole village singing to me about they need help. My best friend sang that she’s blue and then... I argued with her. - She looked down ones again. - And this gray troll in the forest... Named Branch... - She rubbed her eyes. - Have you ever heard about him?

- Yes - Peppy said, calmly. - I have a memory of him from our escaping from BergensTown. He was the saddest kid I’ve ever met. He wasn’t happy about freedom, he didn’t dance, didn’t sing, didn’t...

- I’ve already heard him singing - Poppy interrupted him once again. - Even twice. And I talked with him. He advised me that maybe you’re the only person who can help me.

Peppy was silent, staring at some point on the blanket and thinking.

- And then, I mean, like minutes ago, I heard you singing - She was finishing the story, feeling a bit better as she saw dad listening to her without interrupting. - You sang about that you couldn’t read my mind like you used to. And it was because I haven’t told you about those things until now.

- I don’t really know what to say to you - He said after a while of silence. - How long is it happening?

- From the MRI - Poppy answered. - I didn’t want to talk about it with anybody, especially the doctor, because it sounds really ridiculous.

- Yes, it does - He agreed with a worried tone. - And... How does it make you feel?

- Firstly, I was terrified and confused - Poppy said. - But then I thought that I could help trolls with that sort of... power. But then again, it’s so overwhelming - She took a deep breath. - I have to hide it so it makes me feel affected and... alone. The good side of it is I don’t feel physically any difference - She tried to joke, but her smile was just crooked.

- You can tell me about anything if it makes you feel better - Peppy said concerned, holding her hand as tight as he could. She felt it and smiled more nervelessly.

- Thanks, Dad - She said, sighing calmly. - To be honest, It makes me feel much better.

Peppy smiled back. He lifted up his other hand.

- Come here - He said and she got down to hug him tightly. - I love you, sweetie

- I love you, Dad - Poppy whispered, hiding nose into his arms.

- I wish I could be with you anytime you need help - He added sadly. She smiled wider as she heard that. But he pushed her away and looked at her seriously. - I was scared to talk to you about it finding this topic really embarrassed, but now I see that I can’t delay a talk about it with you.

Poppy looked at him curiously, feeling his stronghold her arms.

- Poppy, you can’t be alone as a queen, and especially now, when you have this overwhelming power - He spoke really seriously. - I know you’ve got a friend, many of them, but I know you and I know what means to be a leader so I think... I think you need a one really close and trustworthy person in your life, who will company you anywhere you’ll go. Someone who would die for you or our kingdom. You need a King.

Poppy smiled as she heard that word.

- I’ve already got Creek - She answered without hesitation.

Peppy gulped, his holding on her arms tightened.

- That’s why I was scared to talk and with you - He said, looking down. - Poppy... I feel like Creek isn’t that person...

- What - She stood up really shocked. - Why do you think that?

- Poppy...

- He’s a lovely man and caring boyfriend, why he could be wrong?

- Poppy, listen...

- But, why could he fail me? He IS trustful and loyal and

- Poppy!

She finally fell silent.

- Calm down - Peppy said softly. - Come here - He added giving her his hand.

Poppy came to him with a little hesitation. She let him hold her hand one again.

- Look at me, sweetie - He tried to comfort her. He spoke so slowly - It’s only your decision and it’s only my feels. I am not infallible, yes?

- Yes - She said still a bit outraged.

- I just want you to know it’s really important. Not only for you but for our kingdom too. Am I right?

Poppy sighed heavily.

- Yes

- I want you just to think about it. Make yourself certain. Could I ask you about it?

She took a deep breath again before answer.

- Yes, dad...

- I’m sorry if I make you upset - He finished.

- It’s okay - She said, putting a hand on her forehead and closing her eyes slowly recover. - I’m sorry that I zoomed out.

Peppy smiled at her affectionately.

- It’s a week filled by emotions, am I right?

Poppy chuckled suddenly feeling really tired.

- Yea, It is

- Go rest, you have operation tonight - He reminded her.

- Oh. Yes... Operation - Poppy felt exhausted. Dad was right, she really needed some rest before it. She smiled at him gratefulness thinking how much he cared about her. She got down and hugged him once again before saying goodbye and leaving the room.

Now she felt like she really needed to find Creek and talk with him. Maybe she could just go to her pod with him and rest, it would be nice too.

She went outside the hospital and felt fresh air. She took a one deep breath till she started walking around to find her boyfriend. She wasn’t thinking, just walking onward, feeling emotionally tired. Trolls were greeting her, but she couldn’t force herself to more than only slightly nodding. She wasn’t in the mood to smile at all. But she told herself that she wasn’t sad or blue like Suki, she was just weary. Not more than that. Just weary.

When she finally found Creek, she felt like her mouth formed in the mildly smile.

- Hi, honey - Creek said, kissing her on her cheek. - I didn’t see ya for a while. Are you okay? You look really tired.

- Yea, I’m fine - Poppy sighed, hugging him. - I’m just... Thinking too much... Feeling too much...

Creek put his chin on the top of her head, hugging her back.

- And how is your dad?

- Good... - She answered, but this question reminded her of the talk with her dad. She sighed heavily and pushed Creek away, but only a bit. - Creek? - She asked grudgingly.

He smiled at her calmly.

- Yes, sweetie?

- Can I ask you a question?

Creek looked at her worriedly.

- I was just thinking... - She started, looking down. - If I’m... dying in the hospital like my dad, would you...

- Shh - He put his finger on her lips. And then he started slowly and calmly: - Stop thinking like that. You’re not dying, even better, your father isn’t dying right now. - He smiled at her so sweetly, moving a strand of hair from her eyes. - You just worry too much right now.

Poppy sighed tiredly once again.

- Maybe you’re right... - She looked at him, smiling back. - You’re right.

He smiled a bit wider and then she heard music started playing. She frowned. “Creek will be singing? - she thought. - Maybe something like “don’t worry, be happy” or some sweetie love song. That would be nice!” But music sounded a bit unsettlingly. Creek stepped back from her and sang:

I put a spell on you

Poppy blinked. She didn’t expect those words.

Because you're mine.

Words echoed through her head when she looked at his ambiguous sight.

You better stop the things you do. I tell you, I ain't lyin', I ain’t lyin’. No.

- Creek? - She tried to stop him, this song was unbearable. But he didn’t react, he came closer making her feeling uncomfortable for some reason. She gulped.

You know I can't stand you're foolin' around. I don't care if you don't want me. 'Cause I'm yours, yours, yours anyhow.

It was super weird! Poppy didn’t know what to say or do. She wanted just escape from him singing. And then she heard another song, a bit muffed by Creek’s. She pushed him away from her and looked around to find Suki.

I put spell on You

She ran through her without thinking. She just didn’t want to hear Creek even one second more

I put spell on you....

When she left him alone, she felt like she ran squarely into another song. Much more depressed, much more overwhelming. Poppy slowed down to hear what Suki was singing.

I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's only me, and I walk alone

It didn’t feel right, but Poppy joined Suki and started walking by her side and listen to her sad song, trying not to turn around to look at Creek.

I walk this empty street On the boulevard of broken dreams Where the city sleeps And I'm the only one, and I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk alone I walk alone and I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me Till then I walk alone

DJ Suki fell silent. They walked in silence for a while. But Poppy just couldn’t stand seeing her best friend sad.

- Suki...

Suki jumped, screaming. She covered her head by her arms.

- What?? You?? Here?? How! - DJ was really shocked. Poppy just forgot that when she heard someone’s singing, they didn’t know about it. It was embarrassing...

- Sorry! I didn’t want to scare you! - Poppy showed her open hands in the calming gesture.

They both froze like that. And then they started chuckling awkwardly, seeing each other’s face.

- You really terrified me, Pops! - DJ smiled, but not so widely.

Poppy giggled briefly rubbing her neck.

- Suki, I... - She tried to start, but the DJ interrupted her.

- Yea, I know. You apologize for yesterday - Suki waved one hand.

- No, Suki! - Poppy tried to be serious. - I really need to talk with you.

Suki sighed briefly.

- I agree that I don’t spend time with you like I used to - Poppy confessed. - ... Because of Creek. And I’m not that good friend like I thought about myself. There were many things in my life, that changed in the last time and... I lost them. But now I’m sorry. If you forgive me, I promise that I never leave you alone anymore - She held her elbow shyly. smiling. - Can you give me a chance to upturn?

Suki smiled dorkly at her. She rolled her eyes.

- Of course, your Silver Tongue - She said, bowing for a giggle. Poppy laughed. And their hugtimers lighted on. They both laughed and hugged each other.

- I missed you so much, Pops - Suki said. holding her really tightly.

- You’ll burke me! - Poppy shouted, chuckling. They pushed themselves away. - You know, I also miss Snack Pack. You think we can meet them?

Suki’s smile faded.

- Like.. right now?

- Yes! - Poppy beamed excitedly.

- Oh... You see... - Suki looked down. - I don’t know if there is Snack Pack...

Poppy straightened up and flew right.

- What?

- You see.. - Suki started grudgingly. - When you stopped going to our meetings...Guy Diamond started be busy... Satin and Chenille too... And also I stopped going to the meetings...

- But why??

- I dunno... I just didn’t feel like I wanted to... - Suki twisted her face.

- Well, then... We have to meet tomorrow! - Poppy ordered.

- ....you’ll come to the Snack Pack meeting?

- Oh, yes, I will! - Poppy threw her hands up.

- Oh, gosh... So will I - Suki laughed. But Poppy got a little serious once again.

- Suki... There is one more thing you have to know...

- What’s that? - She asked curiously.

- I’m having an operation tonight... Could you... come there with me? - She asked shyly.

Suki was shocked. She just stood in awe.

- Why are you having an operation? - Suki finally asked.

- You know... - Poppy looked down. She realized that she didn’t tell her anything at all. - Wanna walk?

_________________________________________________________

I have to mention that sometimes I change the lyrics of songs a bit. But just a bit.

And also thank you @livinginithilien-blog once again for editing this crap.

King Peppy - Used to

Creek - I put a spell on you

Suki - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

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#poppy's extraordinary playlist #zoey's extraordinary playlist #dreamworks trolls #trolls #creek #Branch #king peppy #Poppy #queen poppy #poppy trolls #dj suki #fanfiction #zep #cooper #smidge #guy diamond #creek trolls #branch trolls

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