#and here we see the perfect example of fuck around and find out

[astarless-fights]

A question I have always had: Do people care about the border because someone tells them they need to be concerned? Do they ever see proof? Or speak with someone who lives down there? Is it actually an issue or are people coming in and paying taxes, beefing up towns, and taking a part in the community? Is illegal immigration actually bad or is it a complex issue that is both good and bad and non local medias are just giving you a basic interpretation to have a talking point? Let’s dive deeper.

I have heard OP’s thoughts here before and it’s always come from border towns and border city limits. Which always tells me something else is going on.

Because here’s the thing, media reports and political agencies always misreport and misrepresent things that happen across the country. I have a couple examples as someone who comes from the East Coast but has had the pleasure of working in western states.

1. Remember when they introduced the wolves to Yellowstone in ‘95 and the media updated us back in 2016 “oh there’s wildflowers coming back! And the water is clean again”? I got that propaganda too on the East Coast. And sure, the good stuff probably happened. But wanna guess what I found out that year when I eventually shipped out to Idaho and spoke to wildlife biologists on the rivers?

They introduced the incorrect subspecies of wolf. Instead of using the historic Northern Rocky Mountain Wolves, they introduced a much larger, well traveling wolf called the Northwestern Wolf. The NRM wolves were small and tended to stick to a territory which would have been perfect for what they were trying to do for Yellowstone and the area surrounding. Instead they added a much hungrier wolf that follows its meals across the region, fucking up the ecosystems and wildlife patterns in surrounding states. Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana already had a pretty decent Rocky Mountain Wolf population that could no longer source its meals consistently due to wildlife patterns shifting dramatically, so they started going after the farms. Which if you are not someone who pays attention to wildlife laws and regulations, is the worst thing that could happen for them because farmers hold a lot of political power and often lobby local governments to increase population regulation (ehem, kill em).

2. When that kid died at Disney World… the one with the gator attack? Yeah, that was awful. I come from the southeast and growing up with gators nearby was a common experience for me. I was out in Idaho watching the news when it hit breaking news. The western media proceeded to push ideas that gators are controllable, it’s Disney World’s fault for not putting gates around the whole property to keep them out. It’s Florida’s fault for allowing this to happen.

Sure, should a gate have been placed around that beach? Totally. From working in tourism my whole life, the number one thing I have learned is that tourists are generally ignorant of local knowledge and common sense. I don’t mean this in a horrible way… but people forget they can die on vacation and tend to act as if it’s not possible so they disregard a lot of warnings. The gate would have been specific to people though. Gates don’t stop gators.

In fact they can climb. They can climb over a wooden gate, a chain link, climb up a tree, climb up the stairs… they are the largest vermin. They know no rules or boundaries. If there is water, they are there and they will find away to be there. It is common sense for those in southern coastal states to not go near the water at feeding times, watch the water, maybe keep your distance. If there are warning signs, then there’s definitely a gator that frequents the area but if there’s no sign, then there still is when no one’s watching. Western US media made it sound like they should have killed all the gators off and that just is so ignorant of the sensitive Floridian habitat. We need them there and in georgia, in south carolina, in Louisiana, and alabama. We need them in that ecosystem.

I remember listening to my boss at the time and my coworkers who had just listened to what I had were already shooting off the mislead comments of what the reporters had brought to light. Mostly because they didn’t know gators. They didn’t know Florida. None of them had ever been down there so when information is presented by a trusted source, why not trust that it’s correct?

Yes I explained to them before the topic left. But my observation still stands. Media that is not local to the topic will misconstrue the topic.

So when I see the LA fires and the east coast media telling everyone “the reason is due to them not taking control of their wilderness”, I want you to think of this post, what I have heard and seen with my own eyes, and search for a local reporter to the topic. Because I guarantee it is more complex than that.

Or when you see the border crisis and you aren’t from the border and neither is your favorite news channel… find a local news report to the topic.

If you see something being reported on from across the nation and you are not local, do yourself a favor and check out local to the topic reports. You’ll get more correct information instead of talking points used for political needs.

there is no border crisis. there is no immigration crisis. there never has been. it’s fear mongering, xenophobic, racist propaganda.

sincerely,

a life long borderland resident

[thisisyourdriverspeaking]

Callum watching Canapino & Juncos Hollinger finally get their karma after letting their fans send death threats to Theo

[hansoeii]

Hullo! I’ve been watching a bunch of your Timelapses and I was wondering how do you always come up with the colours for your pieces? They’re always so cohesive and pleasing to look at (I almost exclusively work in greyscale so if I’m using colour it’s always a lucky guess and it never looks quite right)

Hey there!

I have to be honest that most of the time I don't actually know what I'm doing and that I have no idea how most of my pieces are gonna turn out. My work process is usually based on "Fuck around and find out", haha. I'm happy to know that it apparently doesn't come across that way, though.

A lot of it comes very naturally to me simply because I've been drawing non-stop for so long, but I can give you some small tips that really help me:

1. Have as many references as possible!

Here's what my reference sheet looked like for the Jayvik piece:

It helped me a lot to understand the overall color scheme I wanted to convey. Lots of very cold tones, pinks and very light blues and greens. These colours sorround Jayce and Viktor throughout all of season 2 and I wanted to keep them, especially since in my piece they are lying in the glowing hexcore.

Don't shy away from using references, get as many as you possibly can! Look at other poeple's art too and try to understand how they work with colours.

2. Work with complementary colours!

Since I paint a lot of romantic illustrations I want them to look pleasing and comforting, which I can accomplish by using complementary colours! You see this a lot with couples that are blue and red coded, for example. And I wanted to do the same thing in the Jayvik piece! For that I used the highlights in their hair!

Viktor's highlights are a soft pink hue.

While Jayce's are a soft blue hue.

The colour wheel works perfect for figuring out if two colors compliment each other because they are literally right across from one another!

3. It doesn't have to be true to life.

Pretty self-explanatory, but I thought I'd add it in here anyways. It's important to understand how colour and light works, but you don't always have to follow the rules. Does the rim light look cool but it makes zero sense? Who cares! Keep the cool rim light! Just have fun and fuck around.

4. A little trick to make your life easier!

I'm not excatly the best at colour theory, I still struggle with it quite a bit, but here's a little trick I like to use from time to time:

If you want all your colours to look coherent, take one specific color as your flat colour. Choose a hue that you would like your piece to have. Like this:

Now you choose whatever colours your characters have and paint them in. For example, here are the skin colours I chose for Jayce and Viktor:

Looks off, right? These colours don't fit the overall piece at all. So what do we do?

Turn down the opacity! It's that easy, wahoo!

I went from 100 Opacity to 72 for this specific illustration. And look at that!

It's so much nicer already! Now you know what colours to use as your actual flats! Just repeat this with every other part of your illustration and you'll have a great starting point. :)

I really hope this was helpful! I'm not an actual teacher and I don't have a proper illustration degree, so some things might not be completely accurate, but I thought I'd try my hand at this anyways!

[ask-codeearasure]

So... About that shitty Cross take that one person made....

If you've been following certain creators, even this account, I'm sure you've spotted a specific idiot going around complaining about Cross being Trans-Coded and using Republican talking points to say that it's "forced" or "doesn't make sense" and whatever other bullshit that shouldn't even be looked at let alone acknowledged. HOWEVER, instead, we are gonna sit down and talk about how the Trans Experience is so versatile and why Cross (and similar characters) being Trans-Coded is actually extremely important.

Gender nonconformity is fucking terrifying to Republicans, this is why it's been one of this generation's favorite punching bags.

If you look at the women who are tied to the Republican Party, you see a lot of hyperfemininity, so much so it's easy to tell that Barbie is considering suing them for stealing all her plastic.

Jokes aside, gender affirming care is gender affirming care and they are using the same gender affirming care that trans people have been using for years. This isn't only about nail products and cosmetic surgery, but also breast reduction or implant surgeries.

Gender affirming care however, is demonized by the right because they don't get it nor do they acknowledge that there is a range to it.

I once read a story about how one person had realized they were trans because a friend of theirs pointed out that when they had the option of choosing the gender of their playable characters in gaming, they always went with the gender they were not assigned at a birth. Example being an AFAB person constantly choosing male characters.

Though I have not finished watching Underverse this is applicable of XFrisk and XChara shoving the name "Cross" onto... Cross. They are pointing out he is not Sans despite being assigned that name since creation. Their true intentions here had cruelty in mind, but Cross made the name his own.

He is in denial about it which is applicable to how a LOT of trans people are in denial about it sometimes. Hell I remember a Right Wing talking head on Twitter who had tried to transition, detransistioned due to pressure from their family and then stayed at their assigned gender because of it and falling for the Republican propaganda.

Denial isn't just a river. It never has been.

Some people are in denial about their gender identities and sexual orientation and with the coming presidency we are going to see a rampant uptick in that statistic. With that coming, characters like Cross are needed far more.

Cross's story, as far as I've seen, is rough and follows a lot of self-acceptance and self-advocating storylines. Even when it comes to the biggest things that anyone from the LGBTQIA+ has to face, one of these struggles being the fear of rejection and/or being rejected by one's peers.

From what I've seen when it comes to spoilers is that Cross does end up being rejected by those he was close to before meeting Ink, and thus has to come full circle and accept himself by saying "I am Cross". He has to deny the name he went by in the past. He has to because if he doesn't, he'd be giving in to living in denial of who he truly is and thus be living a life of suffering for no reason than to keep others comfortable, setting himself on fire to keep people who couldn't give a damn about him warm.

A lot of Trans people have to show their rejection of their past or even the acceptance of that past to come to terms with themselves. Each person is different when it comes down to finding who they are and accepting that. It depends on the individual.

Some treat their past and their deadname as though they're a completely different person or someone who died so they could live. Think of a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Others treat it like their past self was the caterpillar where their new and true self is the butterfly.

Is it perfect?

No.

Is Jakei a perfect writer?

No. Neither are a lot of my favorite writers and franchises (I'm looking at you Riot Games and your shitty centrist takes on the worst of human history's sins).

But some of the things that imperfect writers make are beautiful and Cross is one of them. He is one of the few characters that speaks for the writer when it comes to saying "I see you, I see your pain. I see your suffering. You are not alone. You deserve to live your life the way you want to. You are valid."

But there are a few questions that the more clueless of people are going to ask.

Why bring Politics into this? And why do Republicans like the media made by progressives?

The answers are FASCINATING.

I bring Politics into this because Republicans, specifically Cishet white people, have made everything political since the beginning of time. Everything they don't like, everything different from them, everything they don't understand, and everything that directly rebels against their patriarchal idea of "paradise" is now considered "Political".

I remember a Republican had argued the dumbest thing once, and I was so dumbfounded I had to take a step back because holy shit.

Their argument was that black people enslaved each other which made their enslavement by white people their own fault.

Now if your jaw is on the floor, you already know where the problem is. If you don't get where the problem, is let me ask you something.

If that is the case, who was the one who made it all about skin color?

I'll tell you.

It was the white people (who were Democrats before the massive party switch, which makes them modern day Republicans).

Who were the ones who made having jobs all about gender? It was the Cishet white men (99% of whom are Republicans).

Who constantly demonized the LGBTQIA+ community during the Stonewall Riots? Mostly Cishet White Republicans.

Who are demonizing Trans people right the fuck now? Republicans and Pick-Me Gay people who vote for Republicans and side with Republicans thinking that the Republicans will finally accept them when they know Republicans won't fucking do it.

Being LGBTQIA+, making non-white characters, making a character a woman, it makes that character "Political", and "Political" characters are always the ones put on the spot for accusations of "forced diversity" and "perversion" where anyone with a working sense of conscience will understand this is a talking point butthurt Republicans or those warped by Republicans pulled out of their assholes looking for a problem where there isn't one.

All art, be it animation, digital art, traditional art, singing, writing, is political. They've always been political.

Do you want to know why Republicans are always bitching about coffee orders? It's because the Enlightenment era thus leading to the Romantic Era of literature was started because of coffee shops it was where all the best writers hung out. The moment they met each other and started talking to each other, the Enlightenment and Romantic Eras started taking off in full force.

It is because of the Enlightenment and Romantic Era writers we don't have Child Labor anymore. A lot of their writing brought talks of nature and the horrors of Child Labor into question. You can't talk about the history of Child Labor without talking about William Blake's Chimney Sweeper and Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Cry of the Children. You fucking can't. Without Blake and Browning we'd still have children in mines and on rooftops risking their lives to clean your fucking chimney.

And here is where we get to the why. Why Republicans LOVE progressive media.

Here is a little secret.

All shows and media made by Republicans are shit because it is all Propaganda.

I know. Shocker.

Look around.

Mr. Birchum, New Norm, Leo and Layla, it's all propaganda. It's all the same Republican talking points that they never shut up about and even then they don't know what they're talking about.

Ask a Republican what "intersex" means. Do it, I dare you.

They won't fucking know but they'll tell you that it's Satanic and shouldn't be allowed near children.

They'd never guess that it's a spectrum of natural gender nonconformity and mixed sexual/hormonal characteristics such as having PCOS or being AMAB and still having a functioning uterus. They don't care that their delusions about there only being "male" and "female" for reproductive sex options has led to medical malpractice, social abuse, murder, and erasure of intersex individuals, and the ones that do know about intersexuality diagnose it as a "Differential Sexual Development Disorder" as if just being born intersex makes someone's existence inherently wrong with an inherent need for surgical and hormonal "correcting".

Republicans like progressive media because it knows how to say something and still be well written. This is why Republicans LOVE Star Trek, Star Wars, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, and Arcane.

It's all progressive media but it all knows how to build a world and say something. Good writers are progressive and know how to write.

Don't get me wrong there is a LOT of fucking garbage that tries to be progressive but that is a small outlier that Republicans LOVE to bring out and bash on to say that we're the ones who ruin media. They make false equivalences to try to make you stop thinking. They need stop-thinking clichés and talking points because it's all they have. But they are so fucking terrified of anything different from what is in their stupid bubble that saying "Oh yeah the champion Taliya is trans" will send them screaming and crying.

Yeah, Riot Games danced around the fact that one of their characters is Trans because they knew she'd scare off the entirety of the Republican player base. They had to hide it and use her magical girl skin to gently hint at it with "Yeah when I'm in this outfit I feel more like myself!" and the entire multi hour long Star Guardian album animation having the Trans Flag being the main pallet on everything.

I honestly wonder how many Republicans ran off when they saw THAT CaitVi scene in Arcane.

Republicans just hate anything that isn't Cis, isn't Hetero, isn't a man, and isn't white. This is why it's not uncommon to find that cishet white men are always found at Klan rallies or the modern Klan rallies which are called "Trump Rallies" these days.

This is why a lot of exhausted Democrats, Liberals, and BIPOC, Feminists, and LGBTQIA+ people have been laughing their asses off at the Pick-Mes who are getting fucked over now that they realize that surprise surprise, Project 2025 was the plan! We fucking told you so, dipshit!

This is what you asked for dumbass! We tried to warn you. You didn't listen. LESSON FUCKIN LEARNT!

Republicans like progressive shit because we make good media.

Republicans HATE anything that isn't CISHET and WHITE.

Now, am I saying all this to claim the person who made that anti-trans Cross post is a Republican, an abuser, or anything else that contributed to this systematic nonsense? Absolutely fucking not. That's an extreme statement to make and they're most likely just a very mislead kid who may or may not have been influenced by a couple of these problems, and them acting out the way they did is perhaps a reflection of how important it is to acknowledge these things even if our community is just fandom and the point is to have fun, to have a distraction from all the bad powers at play.

Either way, their actions pissed me off. Hope they learn.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Get the fuck out.

-- Ouija

[libraryofgage]

Addams Family B-Side (6)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually

Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six (you're here!) Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One | Two 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One | Two Queen Clarisse Renaldi One | Two | Three Leverage Crew One

Hi it's been a fucking minute since I updated this one orz thank you so much for your patience, y'all

Anyway, this fic was line-jumped, and it's one of two jumps I received on kofi. If you'd like to learn more about line-jumping your favorite series, you can read this post

There are three memes at the end for you <3

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't :^)

---

The first time Steve got expelled, his father picked him up from school while his mother stayed to chat with the principal. He was twelve at the time, confused about what he'd done wrong, and feeling validated by his father's ecstatic praise of his initiative.

He'd wound up in Grandmama's kitchen, sitting cross-legged on the island while Wednesday added spider legs to a mixing bowl. Fester had gone off the find Gomez after telling Wednesday to keep an eye on Steve. She'd immediately turned away after Fester left the room.

"So," she said, idly stirring, "you've been expelled. What for?"

"I brought rattlesnakes to class."

"Why?"

"We were learning about snakes. I thought the teacher would appreciate live examples."

"How many?"

"Twenty seven. One for each student."

"Did they bite anyone?"

"No," Steve said, frowning and not bothering to conceal his disappointment at the fact.

"That's a shame."

Steve nodded, watching Wednesday for a few minutes before asking, "What are you making?"

"A cake for Joel."

"Why?"

"He insists on celebrating our anniversary."

"What kind is it?"

"Cinnamon with walnuts."

Steve thought for a moment, trying to figure out why that specific combination sounded familiar. Finally, he said, "I thought Joel was allergic to those."

"He is allergic to many things," Wednesday said, looking over her shoulder to smirk at Steve. "But especially cinnamon and walnuts."

"How come you're making it then?"

"To make sure he remembers how breathless I made him when we first met."

Steve thought that might be one of the most romantic things he's ever heard. He carefully filed the idea away in the back of his mind, hoping he'd one day find someone with an allergy severe enough to use it.

-------------------------

Eddie can't stop looking at Steve's parents, his gaze moving between the two as he tries to figure out how the fuck they ended up together. He feels like someone is about to jump out and tell him he's on a prank show. What else could describe the sheer polar opposite natures of Steve's parents?

Debbie looks exactly like the kind of woman who'd live in a Barbie Dream House: blonde, perfect makeup, pastel dress, the refined air that just hovers around her. Fester, however, looks like he belongs next door. Eddie had noticed how pale he was the first time they met, but he's positively corpse-like now that Steve and Debbie are around for comparison.

He'd almost believe Steve wasn't their child if not for the fact that Eddie can see every way he is. Steve might look like Debbie on the outside, but he's undoubtedly an Addams on the inside. He has Debbie's fashion sense and air of elegance. his eyes get the same crazed light sometimes that Fester's do when Debbie speaks, and the words they speak are similar.

"Eddie," Debbie says, snapping him out of his thoughts. At some point, he'd started staring at Steve, and he feels his cheeks flush at getting caught. "Steve tells me you play guitar. Did you recently learn?"

Oh. Eddie feels his shoulders relax some at the familiar topic. "My mom taught me when I was younger. She used to play for me whenever I had nightmares."

"She doesn't play for you anymore?" Debbie asks, spearing a piece of chicken with her fork.

"Oh, uh, she died a few years ago," Eddie says, smiling apologetically for such a downer of a topic. "Cancer, you know."

"That must have been excruciating," Steve says, a soft sigh accompanying his words, and Eddie isn't sure if he's sympathetic or jealous.

Debbie nods as she inspects her chicken closely before putting it in her mouth, her eyes narrowing slightly as she chews. "I said no poisoning the food, dear," she says, looking at Fester with a somewhat strained smile.

"Aww, it's just a nightshade reduction, Mother. We didn't even put any on Eddie's plate," Steve says.

Now that Eddie is actually paying attention, he realizes the dark sauce drizzled across their chicken is missing from his own. "Why don't I have any?" he asks, figuring it can't really be a nightshade sauce.

"You haven't worked your way up to nightshade yet," Fester explains, his eyes lighting up as he adds, "But don't worry! We're getting you started with just a dash of chalk in your rice."

Eddie blinks, glancing down at the half-eaten rice on his plate. He didn't notice anything weird about it, so maybe they're joking. But then he hears Debbie's put-upon sigh. "Fester, dear?"

"Yes, Pumpkin?"

"I'd make you sleep in the doghouse, but you'd just enjoy it."

"Eddie doesn't mind, I'm sure," Steve says, looking at Eddie with a smile that makes his heart speed up and his palms sweat. "It's okay if you do, though. Just be honest."

"I don't mind," Eddie replies, wondering where the words come from. If he'd been anywhere else, with anyone else, he'd definitely be losing his mind over a light poisoning. Somehow, though, he can't bring himself to be that upset about it. Maybe, if he tries hard enough, he'll even build enough of an immunity to kiss Steve when he's wearing that raspberry lip gloss.

The blinding smile he gets in return eases any lingering doubts he might have. Steve leans close enough for their shoulders to brush, Eddie's skin tingling through the fabric of his sleeve. "We Addams are experts at acclimating people to poisons. You'll be enjoying nightshade in no time," he says, his voice light and reassuring like Eddie was somehow impatient.

And then, without thinking, Eddie's eyes glance down at Steve's lips. They have a suspicious sheen to them, and Eddie's only half-certain he's not imagining the artificial raspberry scent. "What, uh, what about raspberries?" he asks, the words tumbling out before he can stop them.

If anything, Steve's smile just gets wider. "I'm sure we can figure something out," he replies, his tongue briefly swiping across his bottom lip.

Eddie looks away and grabs his glass, gulping down half the water inside before he says anything monumentally stupid in front of Steve's parents.

"Steve, stop torturing Eddie. You know that's dessert conversation," Debbie says, her voice light and breezy.

Steve sighs and pulls away. "Sorry," he says, not looking the least bit apologetic at all. In fact, he even glances at Eddie again and smiles, eyebrows raised slightly, and Eddie thinks he's about to die of thirst.

"Eddie," Fester says, mercifully giving him a reason to look away from Steve and try to gain some semblance of chill. "What are your interests?" Fester glances at Debbie, practically preening when she smiles and offers him a subtle, approving nod.

"Well, uh, music. I like heavy metal and play in a band. Dungeons and Dragons, too. I play that with my friends."

"Dungeons, you say?" Fester asks, suddenly looking more invested in the conversation. "What's your favorite kind? I'm partial to the French Revolution era dungeons myself."

"You just like the guillotines, Father," Steve says.

"Now that's an instrument of death. Nothing inspires fear like the glint of the blade in the sun, don't you think, Pumpkin?"

"Yes, dear, but you know I'm partial to electric chairs myself."

Steve leans closer again and says, "Mother nearly killed Father's family with electric chairs, you know."

"A splendid attempt it was," Fester adds, looking over with a bright smile.

Eddie glances between all of them, taking in their expressions and trying to figure out if they're being serious. He watches Debbie drag a carrot through dark sauce on her plate; he briefly looks into Fester's eyes and sees the manic joy lying in them; his heart speeds up at Steve's soft and contented smile. Eddie then glances around the dining room. He notes the shotgun placed on the wall with a little plaque beneath that reads "Attempt 12" in flourishing cursive. He looks at the window and sees the black, molded wood of the house next door. He thinks of Nox the spider and Kas the taxidermy rat and the ornate dagger and everything else he's found in his locker.

And he realizes something.

They're serious. They're all completely serious about everything. Steve and Fester weren't joking that first time he came over and they talked about the oven being big enough to fit him and a roast. Steve really has fought all of his siblings and was gifted a trident at his bar mitzvah. Pubert doesn't protect his kidneys.

Okay that last one maybe isn't as important, but it's one Eddie savors nonetheless.

He has two options here. One, he gets the hell out of dodge, makes some strained excuse to leave after dinner and avoids Steve in the hallways and hopes he doesn't wake up buried alive. Two, he embraces it, starts eating a little chalk with every meal, and lets Steve introduce him to whatever freaky shit will earn him another blinding smile.

"So, how did you two meet?" Eddie asks, looking at Fester and Debbie with a smile as he shovels more rice onto his fork.

-------------------------

"I approve."

Steve blinks, and then his mother's words process, and he stands a little straighter. "That's good. Though, I would've been happy to follow in Romeo and Juliet's footsteps if you hadn't."

"You wouldn't even need poison," Fester says, his voice ringing from the kitchen as Steve helps his mother gather up dessert plates. "Just wear the raspberry stuff."

"No star-crossed suicides for you, mister," Debbie says, playfully tapping her finger against Steve's forehead. "Anyway, he's a very nice young man, and he adapted rather quick, don't you think?"

"He thought it was a joke before, but he doesn't think that now. And he didn't run away screaming!"

"Not that you would've minded, I suspect."

"Well, no," Steve agrees, flashing a grin as he puts the plates on the counter next to his father. He then pulls down Tupperware, ready to pack up the leftover chicken and rice.

"He seems like a tough nut to crack, but he's nearly there," Debbie says, leaning against the island with a thoughtful look. "I mean, he seemed ready to do whatever you said at the dinner table."

"Then why hasn't he done anything? Am I being too obvious? Should I play hot and cold?"

"No, I don't think that would work here."

"Just tell him," Fester suddenly says, looking at Steve as he washes a plate. "Wouldn't that be best?"

"Would it?" Steve asks.

Before Debbie can do more than snort derisively, Fester nods. "Just think about it, son. You tell him, but leave it all up to Eddie after that. He'll torture himself trying to build up the courage to even hold your hand, especially if you catch him when he's midway."

Steve can't help the way he lights up at the thought. "That's a great idea! Thanks, Father. I'm gonna go plan my confession right now," he says, disappearing from the kitchen not a moment later.

"When did you get so good at this?" Debbie asks, a little pride tinging her words. When Fester lights up, she decides to reward him that night with an extra ten minutes of cuddling before bed.

----------

Tag List (there's no more room on the list, so please follow the addams family b-side tag to see updates!)

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@jinx-nanami, @solene1324, @nailbatwielder, @y4r3luv, @happylittletrees3, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @itcanbepalped,

And now, some memes:

[perseidlion]

The Interview With the Vampire TV show is a perfect example of how adaptations do not have to follow the source material closely to be an excellent adaptation.

(This is a spoiler-free commentary, but it does discuss the dynamics of the characters in general.)

I read the books back in the day, and of course, saw the original movie. Despite a laundry list of big changes, the series still feels extremely true to the books because it captures the spirit. It gets the characters and their fucked-up dynamics right. It doesn't shy away from them being melodramatic monsters. It keeps to the rules established in the source material. The show also makes sure to preserve key moments and key scenes, but always with a twist.

Since they did that, they were free to shift things in time, amp up and adapt certain dynamics, and change the race of characters in a way that deepens the story and complicates already extremely complicated power dynamics.

The original movie stuck more closely to the era and the appearance of the characters as described by Anne Rice, but I don't think the story loses anything by changing those two elements. In fact, it gives it modern relevance and room for political and social commentary.

I have never ascribed to the idea that an adaptation has to be slavishly accurate to the source material to be a good adaptation. It just has to be smart enough to identify what to keep and what can change. An adaptation adapts. Honestly, I find it boring when I see exactly what was in a book up on screen with no surprises. Where's the fun in that?

The difference between a good adaptation and a bad one is not how accurate it is to the source material, but how well the adaptation respects what made the story compelling to begin with.

What's important here?

Lestat is dramatic and powerful and a monster who is deeply charismatic, but also manipulative.

Louis is overdramatic and self-hating, but oddly drawn to Lestat.

Claudia is fierce, but bitter about her eternal childhood.

Their relationship is deeply toxic but with true affection. They are monsters, but monsters capable of intense love and devotion - to the point where it has the power to destroy them.

THAT is at the core of this story. THAT is what they keep intact. This frees up all sorts of avenues for play around a few key plot beats.

This room for play also gives opportunities to expand on thinner characters or rewrite them entirely. It's been a long time since I read the books, but I don't recall Daniel standing out as more than a framing device, especially in earlier books. But in the show, he's one of the best parts. Not only does he take a much more active role in the story, he delivers some of the most hilarious and cutting lines of the entire series. If the show had stuck closely to the source material, we wouldn't have this Daniel.

It was also smart of them to make Claudia a few years older. The eternal child element is preserved, but the layer of arrested teenaged hormones and womanhood that will never blossom adds an extra layer of angst and sadness. She is stuck forever in a state of rebellion, never allowed to settle and come into her own.

Having her be a young Black woman also deepens her attachment to Louis, visually, socially and symbolically. They are different from Lestat and they understand each other in a way he never can. She's still very much the Claudia from the book but with layers added to deepen her character and add new, fresh dynamics and complications.

It's also delightful to see the show take the homoeroticism that was subtextual in the early books with Louis and Lestat (and in the original film) and making it unapologetically text. Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles have always been incredibly queer and subversive, but it's amazing to see that side of it fully embraced and stated plainly with no ambiguity or qualifiers or hints. It's queer and that queerness is woven into the fabric of the entire narrative. Louis and Lestat are the toxic beating heart of the Vampire Chronicles.

It's also important because we need messy, dark, fucked-up queer narratives. Sweet, coming-of-age stories and romances are of course, important - especially for younger queer people. But us older queer folk not only want to see ourselves in multiple genres, we want permission to see imperfect, messy, and yes, even evil characters. It's a way of reclaiming the monstrous queer that was villainized for so long and making it our own. We want to find something beautiful in the dark.

If we all thought about it, we could probably think of dozens of examples where a show or movie went far off-script from the source material and was still an excellent adaptation.

Interview With the Vampire is just the most recent and one of the best examples of a stellar adaptation that respects the source material but also builds and expands on it.

I look forward to seeing how they surprise me next season.

[yanderenightmare]

any more writing advice? the last one was so helpful!

Writing Advice, Part Two

oh yeah, for sure!

I covered improving language and wording in the last post.

In this post, I'll first focus on constructing balanced sentences and text and then move on to more fundamentals of story writing, mainly the power of persuasion.

Alternate the length of your sentences. Here’s an example from an old post of mine: “He’s bad. He doesn’t try to be, but he’s lost count of how many times he’s promised to be better, only to break someone's heart. He’s controlling and possessive, prone to jealousy and harsh words. He can’t handle seeing something that’s supposed to be his with someone else—be it a friend, a coworker, or even the fucking cashier at the supermarket. He just can’t accept it. In his rational, he knows it’s beyond stupid, but his gut still fizzles with rage, and his heart twists and hardens up like a fist—he just can’t help it. His emotions are stronger than his reason.”  Notice how the sentences alternate from short to long, then longer and short again? This gives it that rhythm that makes it smoother to read. If all the sentences were long, it would be tedious and tiring to read, and if all the sentences were short, it would feel bumpy, like someone was constantly hitting the breaks.

Additionally, if we take the same example and you’re like me and enjoy running sentences, you’ll want to create this rhythm with pauses such as em dashes and commas to help the reader slow down. Em dashes are also perfect for introducing a character's thoughts, like this: “Manicured hands tussled in his pretty white locks, pulling on him while sucking each other’s faces, leeching off the feeling of his hands grabbing your waist—oh god, it feels good to be wanted again.”

Another standard piece of advice is to avoid starting your sentences with the same word. Especially when you’re writing actions, it’s easy to fall into the habit of “He did this. He did that. He said this. You reacted like this. You responded like that. You then did this.” but as you’re getting annoyed reading this, it’s safe to say it’s not a very good habit. Example:  “C’mon—you’re angry, aren’t you?” he asks with a quirked brow. He pauses for a moment, then states, “What better way to stick it to him than fucking the hottest guy around?” You’re stunted by this. You suppose that had been exactly what your objectives were tonight, unknowingly and much to your shame. You can at least find some mediocre solace in your next words. “I’m not that kinda girl,” you confess. It’s kind of awkward to read, right? Here it is again, fixed: “C’mon—you’re angry, aren’t you?” he asks with a quirked brow. “What better way to stick it to him than fucking the hottest guy around?” It stunts you. Suppose that had been your exact objectives tonight, unknowingly and much to your shame. At least you can find some mediocre solace in your next confession, for as it turns out, “I’m not that kinda girl.” It’s smoother, isn’t it? It’s essentially the same sentences relaying the same actions and inner thoughts, but with rearranged words making it just the right amount of different.

Also, trust your reader! In the same example, you can see that unnecessary sentences and words have been scrapped as they’re already implied by context. Let your readers read between the lines! Too much explanation becomes tedious, especially when that information isn’t all that important.

Additionally, in the same spirit, you need to be careful where you put your details. Of course, you can approach a scene by vividly explaining everything, from character A’s freckles to the tiny scar they have on their chin or the fact that they have pierced ears but aren’t wearing any earrings. All of that detail is nice, and there are times to get into it, but if it serves no purpose to the current scene then it shouldn’t be brought up. If said character A is being observed by character B, then those descriptive details serve a purpose. But if character A is at home, then those details become redundant. Your reader is always looking for clues, so when the writer throws in details and descriptions that serve no value, it’s only going to confuse the reader—worst case, even pull them out of the story. “Character A is as kind as she is beautiful—everybody who knows her loves her. Oh, and she has a dog.” Unless that dog serves a purpose in the story, it’s an unnecessary detail. The same goes for giving your characters specific outfits and such. Facts without further value should be taken away. They only serve to distract the reader and distort the writing.

This next tip is kind of complex, but it pertains to a story’s power of persuasion. It goes without saying that any story’s main goal is to convince the reader of its characters and plot integrity and credibility. In layman's terms, shit has to make sense. For example, you can’t introduce character A as a bully without reason, nor can you suddenly give them an unexplained or inconsistent soft side. Even though we enjoy bullies with a soft side. You need to sell us the narrative and answer our curiosities. Why is he a bully? Why is he nicer to character B? What makes character B special? Try to fill as many plotholes as you can, and if not, then address their absurdity or try to avoid making them in the first place. Examples of this: Filling the plothole—A bullies because of his inferiority complex caused by his obvious lack of academic skill, but B is A’s childhood friend and is therefor the only one spared. (Here, everything is given a reason behind it.) Addressing the plothole—B doesn’t know why A bullies the way he does nor why he’s different with them… he’s just always been that way. (Here, things are still shrouded in mystery, but since we’re seeing it from B’s perspective, it makes sense that we wouldn’t know the whole story.) Avoiding the plothole—A’s a born bully. Growing up the way he did, it would be surprising if he ended up any different. A doesn’t treat B any different—they’re just another loser making themselves an easy target. However, unexpectedly, B fights back. A is flabbergasted by this new development. An interest in B blossoms in A. (This one is similar to filling the plothole, but instead of providing backstory, it makes a plot out of what would have been a pothole.)

I tend to see plotholes like this in a lot of character-x-reader fanfics. They usually stem from a writer's decision to treat the reader as someone special without giving them any characteristics or extraness that would make them special in that universe. “Character A was captivated by readers beauty in a single glance,” isn’t very convincing or satisfying or any amount of original. Of course, it depends! Though there are exceptions, usually, banking the entirety of character A’s obsession with reader on their looks is relatively boring and questionable. Again, in laymen’s terms, it just doesn’t make much sense—after all, there are a million other fish in the sea. What makes the reader's beauty any different from any other person on the street? This is the unanswered question readers will be left with. Even though it would be nice to believe my beauty trumps everyone else's—it isn't very believable. As such, the story loses it's power of persuasion. So! Make the reader special in ways that would make them different in the universe you’re writing—and not something so superficial or unconvincing such as their unmatched looks. That being said, it doesn’t need to be anything groundbreaking and nor should it, as that as well can break the fragile element of believability we’re trying to maintain. Don’t make reader the most special person in the world—that’s cringe and otherwise unconvincing. Avoid this by lowering the bar and making them special to character A specifically, not the entire universe.

Here are some examples of this with characters from fandoms:

BNHA To Bakugou, Deku, and Overhaul, a quirkless reader would be special. To Shinso and Aizawa, a reader with a cat quirk would be special. To Shigaraki, a reader with a nullification quirk would be special. To Hawks, a reader with a bird quirk would be special. To any of the characters, a reader with a quirk that compliments, contrasts, or is similar would be special.

JJK To Gojo, Sukuna, and Mahito, for different reasons, a reader with a nullification technique would be special. To Geto, a reader without cursed energy (monkey) would be special. To any of the characters, a curse reader would be special. Especially if you make them compliment the characters. Example text here.

Here are some other classic examples:

Childhood friends Rivals Roommates Neighbors Brother or sister's friend Classmates Coworkers B works at a place A frequents Assignment partners Arranged marriage

Also, dynamic contrasts work well:

Royalty x commoner Jock x nerd Boss x secretary Beauty x beast

More examples of tropes here

Now, I’m not saying a reader has to be made special. Character A can like them for any dull reason, such as accidentally bumping into them on the street. But! If you’re going to preach about how special the reader is, then there had better be a better reason than “they’re prettier and kinder than everyone else,” as that feels superficial, boring, and most importantly, unbelievable.

I suppose, especially when it pertains to this, believability is a lot related to what's relatable. If your reader-character is the kindest, most beautiful person in the world, then your readers' relatability to that character is most likely drastically stretched. And maintaining the power of persuasion becomes hard.

Again, there are exceptions to this! Sometimes it works! Sometimes, that's the fantasy, and it's done perfectly!

But! Just food for thought, you can always ask yourself, “Is this convincing? Do the characters and their actions make sense? Are there any details that are there just for fun? Do they serve a purpose? Does anything feel out of place, awkward, or cringe?”

Asking these questions and altering your story depending on the answers will help you maintain your story's power of persuasion, which tends to separate good writing from unfinished writing riddled with plotholes and tedious information.

[lurkingshan]

Dead Friend Forever is a Marvel of Mystery Writing

I haven’t been watching Dead Friend Forever live, because I am not always that into the slasher genre and I figured I would wait to hear whether it holds up before jumping in. I admit, I was a bit dubious about a drama sustaining a slasher narrative for 12 entire weeks and didn’t want to spend time on something that might be too shallow to sustain and would end up falling apart. I basically told bestie @wen-kexing-apologist to vet it for me and holler if I needed to start paying attention. And a few weeks ago, they started poking me with increasing intensity, along with a few other friends, because the writing was holding up better than they could believe. I started asking questions, and once @ginnymoonbeam mentioned that Sammon was the writer, it all started to click and I dove into a binge to catch up.

And they were right! This show is excellent, and its strength is sourced in an incredibly strong script from a writer who knows how to construct a longform mystery. Because it turns out, that’s what this show actually is. How do you sustain a slasher for 12 weeks? By embedding a deeper mystery within the slasher framework and pacing your story so that the entire middle delivers a backstory narrative that is even more compelling than the current events. This show is expertly structured to grab your attention and then get you deeply emotionally invested in the coming bloodbath, which is crucial for a slasher to feel like it has any stakes. Let me also note that the excellent writing here is supported by extremely smart direction and editing and some standout performances from young actors. I am going to focus on the writing here because that’s what I do, but it should be said that this whole production is all around excellent. 

So let’s talk about why the writing in Dead Friend Forever works so well! Great drama mysteries should support two kinds of engagement from the viewer: 

no thoughts head empty engagement from the people who just want to be pulled along for the ride and be constantly surprised

red string board theory engagement for the people who enjoy finding clues and trying to solve the mystery in advance. 

It’s actually really fucking hard to thread this needle as a writer, because it requires seeding strong enough clues that attentive viewers could reasonably guess some of the big reveals, but not giving away so much that you are unable to surprise them. A reveal in a good mystery should have you saying “oh my god WHAT” and “of course, that makes perfect sense” at the same time. And the best mysteries support the viewer being able to go back and rewatch, find new meaning they missed the first time, and realize every single thing that happened adds up. A tight mystery has no loose ends and no false steps; it never lies to the viewer, it only works to draw your attention where it wants it at any given point in the story.

Dead Friend Forever does this masterfully with several of its reveals, but I will highlight the biggest example: the reveal of Phee and Non’s relationship in episode 7. In the first four episodes of the show, the story lets us in on a few crucial facts: Phee is newer to this friend group (along with Tan and White), he was not present for whatever went down with Non three years ago, he has some kind of fucked up not!friends with benefits relationship with Jin that involves lots of sexual tension and dick biting, and he seems interested in figuring out what the hell happened once all these dudes start acting crazy about the videos. The string board theorists had enough to go on there to reasonably guess that he was intentionally trying to uncover the truth—but not why—and the no thoughts head empty crowd could just vibe, enjoying his scenes with Jin and wondering how exactly he ended up hooking up with him and getting involved with this group of people he doesn’t even seem to like.

Once we get to the backstory and see Non’s narrative, additional clues emerge, like the existence of both an older brother and a mysterious sweetheart that is only saved as [heart emoji] in Non’s phone. No thoughts head empty is over here going huh I wonder who they’re gonna be and hey when are the rest of the characters going to show up; string board theorists now have two clear options for how Phee could tie in to Non’s story and why he might care enough to investigate, but no one knows for sure. So when the show ended episode 6 with Phee running into Non’s room and began episode 7 with The Most Effective Five Minute BL Of All Time, everything clicked into place. No thoughts head empty got to experience a very pleasant shock moment, the string board theorists got to feel satisfied that they figured out at least part of the reveal, everyone got to enjoy an unexpected shot of romance in the middle of this stressful narrative, and there were still parts of Phee’s motives and involvement with this group that we didn’t understand and would require additional reveals. That is great mystery writing in a nutshell.

And it’s not only the mystery construction that makes the writing here so smart. It’s also the way Sammon is weaving in tons of social commentary, embedding Thai cultural and religious values, incorporating complicated crimes with lots of players in the mix that somehow don’t get confusing, and drawing complex and nuanced characters whose choices and behavior you understand even if you find them abhorrent. It’s not easy to make a viewer both despise a character and still care what happens to them; when you write a story about despicable people you run the risk of inspiring apathy in the audience, which is a death knell for a mystery. We have to be invested for this story to work. We have to feel deep empathy for Non to the point that we fully support axe murdering his bullies, but we also have to be interested enough in the bullies and why they behave the way they do to watch 12 weeks of them running around being awful to each other and harming everyone in their paths. And Non, too, gets to have real complexity. He is not a perfect little Mary Sue who never does anything wrong. He makes big impulsive mistakes, and seeks attention and affection from the wrong people, and lies to the ones he loves, and doesn’t always ask for help when he needs it. He is a flawed human being and that’s so important, because he is the center of this story and we need him to feel real.

In conclusion: holy shit. I tip my hat to you, Dr. Sammon, and I am very excited to be on this ride for the final four episodes. 

[sunnyie-eve]

1 | Red

Series: Eventually

Paring: (Chris Sturniolo x OFC!) (Matt Sturniolo x OFC!)

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

When you have a crush on someone you notice every single detail about them. No matter how small it may be. For example, the way they frown unintentionally while looking at things when conflicted.

"Which one should I get for Nick?" Gabby turns to face Chris holding two different shades of red hair dye. "I feel like he's more this red but..." She starts to think more about it.

Chris shakes his head to focus on what she asked, "Why don't you just ask him when he finds us over here? Him and Matt just went to get chips."

She huffs giving him a look, "I'm trying to help out here. Plus we're the ones helping him dye his hair tonight."

"I know we are but just wait for him."

"I know we are but just wait for him." She mocks him so he wraps his arms around her to shake her around.

"Don't be a little shit." He makes her laugh.

"But that's my job." She turns herself around to face him and wraps her arms around his waist, "It's a full time one at that too." She looks up at him. There wasn't a huge height difference between them. It was only like a three or four inch difference. Which Chris thought was perfect for him. 

"You aren't getting paid though." 

"Wanna bet? Anytime one of you calls your mom or talks to her to complain about me, she gives me a dollar. Many ones added together make a lot over the years." Gabby lets him know.

"You're fucking with me." He didn't believe her.

"Ask her and then you'll know I'm not." She moves her arms to pinch his cheeks then squishes hs face, "Little baby."

Chris slaps her hands away to do the same to her, "No, that's you. You were born a few hours after us."

"Chris you know she hates that." Matt tells him as him and Nick find the two.

While Gabby and Nick try to figure out which red to go with, Chris watches how Matt stands so close to Gabby even though he wasn't part of the conversation. He turns his back towards the three to roll his eyes about it before facing them again.

"Okay, this one it is!" Gabby and Nick settle on which one, "Now let's go." She walks off first just wanted to get this over with.

Back at Gabby's house they don't automatically start on Nick's hair because they had to help her mom clean up a bit with boxes all around the house. They just recently moved into a new place and still haven't finished unboxing. 

"Chris go." Nick lets him know he was recording.

"Alright, it's recycle time." Chris puts his phone away then rushes over to an empty cardboard box jumping onto it which causes it to slide and him fall to the floor.

Gabby gasps covering her mouth with her hands quickly, "Oh my god! Are you okay?" She asks as he groans on the floor.

"Oww." He whines before getting up to stomp on another box.

"Not that..." Gabby tried to stop him but it was too late, "One." She sighs.

"Why is there con-," Nick starts.

"What the fuck?!" Chris shouts.

"I should've spoken sooner." Gabby shakes her head at herself.

"Now we have to clean that."

"I'll clean it so you move." Gabby goes over telling Chris to move so he goes to jump onto another box.

As she cleans up Matt comes back seeing all the chaos Chris was doing, "That's how you know he's the youngest out of us three." He goes to help Gabby.

"There's lots of signs." She laughs, "You're the only one actually really helping why?" She gives Matt a look.

"Because I want to keep being your mom's favorite obviously."

Gabby rolls her eyes while smiling a bit, "You've been her favorite son since we were ten. Before that it was Chris."

Still crushing empty boxes, Chris looks over at the two before picking up a box throwing it at Matt, "Here's another for you." He gives him a smile.

An hour passes before they all start on Nick's hair, "This is so bonding of me and you Chris." Nick says as Chris shaves the back of his neck so they could dye his hair.

"I know right." Chris agrees with him.

"Oh my God." Matt laughs at Nick as he holds his hair back for Chris to put the Vaseline around his hairline.

"I look like a wet alien."

"You look like you're sweating balls." Gabby adds so they all laugh.

"A grandpa hairline." Matt laughs so Nick snaps his head towards him with a straight face.

"Matt."

"You have to cover it all." Gabby tells Chris as he reads the hair dye bottle.

"Leave it for 30 minutes." He reads then looks at her not thinking that was right.

"Yeah, do you not know that?" She asks him.

"What's first?"

She laughs at him a bit, "Just follow the instructions."

"I am."

"Sure about that?" She laughs more.

"Should we really be letting Chris help out?" Matt asks the other two.

"I'm starting to second guess it." Nick tells him so Chris rolls his eyes saying he can do it.

"It will wash off." Gabby tells Nick, who was worried about the dye getting on his skin. "You're okay."

"It's just cause there's not a lot of hair back there." Matt moves to film the back of his head.

"There's just not a lot of hair back here to dye." Chris repeats to confirm Matt was telling the truth, "So. So it just looks messy in the back."

"Turn your head." Gabby tells Nick so he does as he goes on to tell the story of water coming out of his ear in the morning. "Take your time, dude." She tells Chris as she holds Nick's ear out of his way. "Is it an infection?" She then asks Nick about his ear.

"I was scared, I didn't know." He tells her before they move around to finish up. "Chris, be careful." Nick tells him as he works on the front now. "Be so careful, please." He tells him as Matt goes to grab Chris's ass.

"Matt." Chris says his name.

"Matt don't poke Chris's ass." Nick tells him as well.

"You and asses, dude. Mainly his ass." Gabby laughs shaking her head at him getting the bag ready to put on Nick's head.

"Look how goofy you look." Matt tells Nick, once the bag is on his head. "Gabs, are you setting your timer?"He asks her.

"I am." She lets him know.

"Okay."

Once the timer was over Gabby lets Nick know not to wash his hair. "Just rise with cold water." Matt adds.

"Ugh, I don't wanna take a cold shower." Nick groans before going towards the shower and the other three leave the bathroom.

Since it shouldn't take him super long, the three just wait outside the door. Chris jokes he'll look like a clown so Gabby tells him no since the base hair color was dark and not light. He of course starts to play bicker with her and Matt just watches the two not planning on jumping in.

"You know, Gabs bathroom is probably blood red now." Matt jokes about the dye being everywhere.

"Let's hope not." She backhandes his chest.

"It's really red." Nick says on the other side of the door.

"Just open the door." Chris tells him so Nick finally opens the door to show them and viewers.

"The back of my head is still brown." Nick turns around for them to see.

"It's not brown at all, dude." Gabby looks, "The sides are a bit tho." She sees.

"Look, my roots are still brown. You guys did awful." Nick shows them more.

"Hey, Chris did the front." Gabby didn't want any blame on her.

"Hold on." Nick opens the door to the shower and toilet, "I had to use this to clean the wall while I was in the shower." He shows them a once white rag that is now pink. "I-I was trying to be smart about it." Nick walks back to them so Gabby backs into Matt.

"Sorry." She apologizes as his places his hand on her hip for a second to apologize too before he steps back to make more room.

"I was hopeful I wouldn't make the entire bathroom red." Nick laughs telling Gabby.

Way later in the night they four go to a store since they were bored at the house, "Hey guys what's up I brought the kids to Walgreens." Nick starts vlogging in the store, "So we could pick out some fidget toys."

"I'm gonna put a down payment in on how many I just got." Matt holds all of his.

As Chris plays with one pulling it open, Gabby likes the sound of it, "Ooo, I liked that. I need a small one of those." She looks for one, "And Matt you don't need all of those." She looks back at him.

"I know but I still am." He says before they all head to checkout then head back to the house.

"Oh, you get the bed tonight." Gabby tells Nick as they all hangout in the kitchen getting snacks, "Also my mom said..." She gets cut off mid sentence.

"What about me?" Matt turns to look at her and Nick while closing the fridge.

"You lost that right a year ago." Nick tells him so Gabby and Chris laugh, "Right it's been a year?" Nick asks not remembering.

"Almost two." Gabby thinks back.

[a-certain-romance]

house wife reader with yae miko and ei

for example

your such a cute wife cooking and cleaning for the obvious lesbian pair, Hell your their 3rd lover always making sure their safe and alright. But sometimes even their poor wife can get desperate when their not home grinding away on yaes pillow while gripping onto something to hold you down. You cant handle it sometimes you want you wife’s to come help. Ei finds you in this state and is the first one to plunge her long and slender fingers down your throat as her hand moves down to your chest playing with the soft skin on your mound.

Yae finally arrives staring at the mess ei made leaving small bite marks and markings on you so you can think of her while you grinded against any one of the pairs pillows. Yae smirks laughing in the door way but finally walking over holding two strap ons one purple and one pink.

“My my should both do it or should the owner of the pillow our cute wife here humped be the one to fuck her senseless? Come now dear dont keep us waiting, choose between thoose options” Yae mikos iconic giggle followed along looking at small tears. in your perfect eyes she sits on the bedside and whipes them

They really do hate seeing their wife cry and the two pepper your cute face with kisses “Do you wish to choose or should we choose it for you dear?”

you can imagine the rest lmao 🫶

HOLY SHIT

Warnings: Smut written by a minor, strap-ons, double penetration, fingering, gagging (fingers)

Link to pt 2, Pt3 & Pt4

In the end they don’t even let you choose.

Miko sits behind you with you in her lap, her strap plunged deep into your backside and making long, deep strokes. The pillow is long forgotten, her legs holding yours open as Ei continues her merciless attack on your tits, still unsatisfied and needy after the foreplay.

Miko teases your hole, swirling around her finger as she presses light kisses to your neck. Ei finally angles her strap into you, not waisting a single moment before she’s pounding at a ruthless pace.

Every time Ei pulls back, Miko pushes in. There isn’t a single moment when your holes aren’t filled with them. All the while Miko has took to teasing you, fingers pinching and pulling on your hardened buds as she slides her own fingers into your mouth. The force of them both tightens the coil in your stomach and has you begging to cry out, moaning uncontrollably against Miko’s fingers

Ei kisses away the tears that once again fall from your eyes and gingerly pulls out Miko’s fingers. “We love you so much dear, now cum for us”

Once you’re satisfied, Miko and Ei pull out which has you gasping at the loss. You shudder, curl and twist around into Miko’s chest. The vibrations of her laugh ring into you ear as her arms loosely enclose your body, “Aren’t we so much more better than that pillow, darling?“. You nod into her as your eyes flutter close. You’re still awake long enough to feel Ei’s arms lazily wrap around you and Miko. You start to drift off as Miko and Ei talk of planning more free time in the future

[jellyfishsthings]

Warnings: um smut... wrap it before you tap it, piv, fem!reader, academical rivals to lovers, probably the filthiest thing I have ever written... if you know me, no you don't

Part 1 , Part 3

Things since last week haven't changed much. Remus and I still had our rivalry going stronger than ever. Especially after the hallway incident, which ended up with him having a large red handprint on his cheek, indicating a really strong slap. In my defense, he was getting close. Ever since we haven't stopped arguing with each other, until…

"I can't work with her."

"It's impossible to work with him."

As quickly as the words left our mouths, we sharply turned to glare at each other. Completely missing Professor's McGonagall proud look.

"You are working together on this project. And you will present to me the best project in the class because you are both Perfects and have to give the right example. I don't care about whether you like each other or not."

Seething I exit the room with a newfound speed, and Remus closely follows behind my heels.

"Can you just slow down a bit?" He asks, and I instantly stop walking, turning towards him, waiting impatiently to hear what he has to say. "She's right, you know. We have to make this fucking project as perfect as possible. So I think we should call a truce." He slowly proposes as if this will simply fix our problems. I stare at him blankly, and I see his nostrils flaring. "Look. I don't like this either, ok? But I need the grade, and if it were someone else, I would just make the project myself. But since it's you … if we work together we could… We are at the top of every class for a reason. Just…." His voice eventually gives up.

"Fine," I say, "meet me at the library at 7. We have a lot of research to do"

This was how I found myself meeting with my all-time rival every day in the library for two months. The insults never stopped flying from one to the other, but surprisingly, we made a good team, and the project was almost finished. We are now accustomed to each other and our habits. Like Remus… when he read something for a really long time, he would remove his glasses and rub his eyes and his nose, smoothing it out after being scrunched up. Or when we got tired, he would share his chocolates to boost our morals and energies.

Many comments have been floating around the halls."How long until they fuck it out?", "God, he could eat her alive, for what she said to him.","He must be really smitten with her for putting up with her." ... Well, you got the gist of it.

Now, as I was getting ready for bed, a thought occurred. We never looked in the secluded area for any useful information. So, I put on my slippers and headed towards the library once again.

I slowly walk down the hallways, trying to get past Flinch. The great mahogany walls of the library greet me with a loud groan. I grab one of the oil lanterns that rest on the librarian's desk and head towards the restricted section. I find books related to the project and start reading them. Keeping notes under the candlelit room.

I could be reading for hours or mere minutes when I hear footsteps. I quickly blow out the flame and hide in the darkest spot I can find between the bookcases. As the sound of footsteps comes closer my breathing turns faster and more panicky. Good God I am going to get caught? Am I going to get detention? What am I going to do?

That's when I feel a hand close around my mouth. Silencing me. Wait …what? Silencing me? A familiar scent fills my nostrils.

"Stay quiet or else we are going to get caught." He whispers in my ear. His Welsh accent dripped like honey, his voice raspy and almost deathly quiet. Heat pools in my core as a dream resurfaces in my brain. "Stay quiet or else we are going to get caught." He says as he pounds into me while he has my hips in a tight grip, guiding back and forth.

As I snap out of my trance, I push his hand harshly off me. "What the hell are you doing here?", I whisper-yell at him.

"What the hell are you doing here?", he fires back. We stare at each other with our eyes slitted as we both breath heavily.

"How did you even know I was here?", I ask him accusingly, even though I have been caught in the act.

"The marauders map." He answers back easily as if that answer would ring a bell and not cause more questions.

"The what ?"

"I think he is gone."

"Oh really?"

"Why do you like to test me, woman?"

"Possibly because of your super nice personality or better yet because you're a prick."

He just returned the favor with a wolfish grin, notice the irony.

"Why are you smiling?" I snap at him.

"Oh because you are so nicely close to me and you haven't uttered a word about that." Just as the words leave his mouth I feel my cheeks heat. Jesus why am I blushing? At least he can't see it. "And yes I can see you blushing"

How did he…? Is he a mind reader?

"Also I am no mind reader, i just know you that well." His face is dangerously close now. The empty, now, library is ominously quiet and I can almost feel our breaths echo in the room. There is no escape, is there? His mouth is almost atop of mine, his breath fanning my face.

"Gosh why are you like this? Why must you test me until I snap? Why do I love it so much?" He says as his lips crush into mine in a bruising kiss that steals my breath away. He manhandles me so that our chests are pressed together and I am promptly sitting in his lap, feeling a long hard cock press against my clad yet soaking wet pussy. Insults fly out of our mouths in-between every heated kiss.

"Punk"

"Jerk"

"Dickhead"

"Oh you are going to feel that soon."

"Bite me, Lupin."

"If you insist."

We discard our clothes as fast as possible until he grabs hold of my thighs and he slams me on the flat surface of the bookcase.

Right opposite the window, it's so dark outside that our reflections fill my eyesight. His scarred, white freckled back in contrast with my tanned legs, due to all the sun exposure, that are wrapped around his waist and my arms in his shoulders. One of my hands is buried deep in his brown curled hair that is now buried in my neck leaving bites and hickeys as he bites, laps and sucks, leaving permanent marks behind his trail. While the other scratches his back, as my legs draw back and my back arches.

Horrified gasps sound in the room, mixing with my moans and his groans. My eyes open immediately, leaving their half hooded state, searching the room for intruders but not finding anyone until…. Of course, the portraits. Great I am about to get royally fucked by Remus Lupin and not only will I have to live with the memory of it but now the portraits saw what we were doing, I was catastrophically doomed, I laugh at the thought.

And Remus leaves his task and draws slightly back, enough for him to keep impossibly close but still be able to see my face.

"I love your laugh. And I absolutely hate the fact that I am not the one causing it. But that is going to change. Everything is going to change from now on, you bellend." The breath is being knocked out of my lungs. "And now I am going to fuck you. I reckon you are wet enough so as not to hurt." He says as his fingers play with my clit. "I would say you are quite drenched actually. You know I have been thinking of this, dreaming it even. Fucking you hard and deep, until you are nothing more that a brainless brat." Gasps and moans are his only answers.

"Thank God you seem to like that because I don't think I can hold back any more." He seals these words with a kiss as he enters me in one fluid motion until he is balls deep. Our mouths are open now as we try to catch our breaths and I stare at his eyes, trying to find the familiar mischievous dark green that haunted my every thought. His forehead dropped to mine as he started to move inside me at an insane pace. His balls are slapping against my clit as he hits all the right spots.

My back arches and my head falls back as my eyes close. I feel one of his hands slide up my back and rest somewhere between my ribs, commanding me to stay in place as I feel…. No this can't be right. My gaze moves to the window and what I see almost brings me right over the edge right there and then. His head is buried in my chest hiding all the toying he is doing at my breasts, paying extra attention to my nipples. Marking them up too.

"God I wish I could mark up our thighs and pussy too but that will have to wait."

"Remus, you prick, how dare you…" I say in a breathless voice my insult is lost in all the pleasure I am feeling.

"Yes, how dare I make you feel all this pleasure. Huh?" He mouths in my chest as he has his lips wrapped around one of my tits.

"I am close" I whimper

"I know, sweetheart. Let go for me. I've gotcha."

I don't know what actually sent me over the edge. The nickname, the command, reassurance, a mixture of all of them? Well whatever it was it rocked my world. I never thought an orgasm could last that long or be so powerful. It was literally dripping down my thighs to his and then falling to the ground. Embarrassingly so. He had finished too. His face was buried in my chest trying to catch our breaths.

He turns to look at me, smirking. Oh no. I already know what he is going to say. And I won't be able to say no.

"Ready for round two?"

words: 1.741

[artofhazbinhotel]

Staticmoth playlist

Thrill of First Love (Falsettos)

Some lyrics as an example:

Leave me, love me, ha, don't be a fool

Want me, feed me, no one so cruel and cheap

What I love I devour, what you love you devour

What I covet I keep

The Chess Game (Falsettos)

Some lyrics as an example:

Life's a shame and every move is wrong

We've examined every move as we move along

Winning is everything to me

Nothing is everything to me

Winning is everything to me

Nothing is everything to me, except sex

Temporary Bliss (The Cab)

Some lyrics as an example:

I can't keep sleeping in your bed

If you keep messing with my head

Before I slip under your sheets,

Can you give me something please?

I can't keep touching you like this

If it's just temporary bliss, just temporary bliss

Fuck Away The Pain (Divide The Day)

It's such a shitty thing he did,

The way he said goodbye

You can take it out on me if you like

Fuck away the pain, erase him from your brain

Fake it like you love me, come on baby touch me

Show me where it hurts, this dirty little curse

You don't have to be ashamed

If you wanna scream my name

While I fuck away the pain

Take it Out on Me (Thousand Foot Crutch)

Some lyrics as an example:

It's not working, it's not worth it

You wanted it to be picture perfect

It's not over, you don't have to throw it away

So scream if you wanna, shout if you need

Just let it go, take it out on me

Fight if you need to, smash if it helps you,

Take control, take it out on me

Here we go Again (Demi Lovato)

Some lyrics as an example:

So how do you get here under my skin?

Swore that I'd never let you back in

Should've known better than trying to let you go

Cause here we go go again

Hard as I try I know I can't quit

Something about you is so addictive

You think that by now I'd know

Cause here we go go again

Your Love is my Drug (Ke$ha)

Some lyrics as an example:

What you got boy is hard to find

I think about it all the time

I'm all strung out my heart is fried

I just can't get you off my mind

Because your love, your love, your love is my drug

Your love, your love, your love

Disgusting (Ke$ha)

Some lyrics as an example:

It's disgusting how I love you

God I hate me, I could kill you

Because you're messing up my name

Gotta walk my talk my fame

But I just wanna touch your face

It's disgusting how you've changed me

From a bandit to ew, a baby

Thinking I gotta change my name

If I'm gonna walk this walk of shame

Look at what you do to me, it's disgusting

Boy Like You (Ke$ha, Ashley Tisdale)

Some lyrics as an example:

I know you know I'm wrapped around your finger

You're so, you're so beautiful and dangerous

Hot and cold, don't you see the light, boy?

I could blow your mind, boy

Let me be your new toy

I do want and I get what I want when I want it

But I'm not gonna stop until I get what you got,

Til I got it

Paparazzi (Lady Gaga)

Some lyrics as an example:

I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me

Papa-Paparazzi, baby there's no other superstar

You know that I'll be your papa-paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind,

But I won't stop until that boy is mine

Baby you'll be famous,

Chase you down until you love me, papa-Paparazzi

Love Game (Lady Gaga)

Some lyrics as an example:

Hold me and love me,

Just wanna touch you for a minute

Maybe three seconds is enough

For my heart to quit it

Let's have some fun, this best is sick

I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

Don't think too much, just bust that kick

I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

Let's play a love game, play a love game

Do you want love? Do you want fame?

Are you in the game? Dans le love game

Super Psycho Love (Simon Curtis)

Some lyrics as an example:

Flirt with you, you're all about it

Tell me why I feel unwanted

If you didn't want me back

Why'd you have to act like that?

It's confusing to the core when I know you want it

And if you don't wanna be,

Something substantial with me

Why do you give me more? Babe I like you want it

Say that you want me everyday that you want me

Every way that you want me

Every way that you need me got me tripping

Super psycho love

Toxic Valentine (All Time Low)

Some lyrics as an example:

I live a lifestyle full of first impressions

I've got my hands full of unhealthy obsessions

He bites my lip, I'm sure to follow

We take a drink til we're guilty and then hollow

Sex and white lies, handcuffs and alibis

He lays his halo the pillow when he sleeps

His heart beats red wine, my toxic valentine

Bipolar Baby (Forever The Sickest Kids)

Some lyrics as an example:

He's kind at times,

He's the first to pick a fight

And convinced that he's always right

He's up and down and in and out of this world

He's always out of line, always out of line

He drives me crazy all of the time

Bipolar baby, one of a kind

She's so Mean (Matchbox 20)

Some lyrics as an example:

He's a hardcore candystore give me some, boy, boy

He'll make you take him to the club

And then he leaves with his friends

He likes to stay late at the party

Cause the fun never ends

And all his clothes are on the floor

And all your records are scratched

He's like a one way ticket

Cause you can't come back

Saying yeah you want him, but he's so mean

You'll never let him go, why won't you let him go?

Push (Matchbox 20)

Some lyrics as an example:

And I'm a little bit angry

Well, this ain't over, no, not here

Not while I still need you around

You don't owe me, we might change it

Yeah, we just might feel good

I wanna push you around

Well I will, well I will

I wanna push you down

Well I will, well I will

I wanna take you for granted

I wanna take you for granted

I will, I will

Self Inflicted (Katy Perry)

Some lyrics as an example:

I can't stop, don't care care if I lose

Baby, you are the weapon I choose

These wounds are self Inflicted

I'm going down in flames for you

Baby, you are the weapon I choose

These wounds are self Inflicted

One more thing I'm addicted to

[callmearcturus]

a bunch of Mission Impossible fic recs

hi, i'm sorry for conning so many people into this fandom. here's some reading material.

Easy Open, by helenish

“So you and Hunt are a package deal these days,” Bryson says. “Uh,” Benji says, jerking his head up from his computer, ballpoint in his mouth.

Ethan/Benji. Definitely the first thing you should read after watching the movies. This is my favorite kind of one-shot, the kind that manages to convey the weight of history like a 60k fic in such a compressed space. When I talk about using sex scenes to convey something about the characters, perfect example is the set dressing around the one here where the title drop happens. Way to say so fucking much about the characters through sheer implication.

in the details, by helenish

Ethan: We have an even bigger problem. Ilsa. Benji: Ilsa. Our Ilsa? —Mission: Impossible — Fallout (Paramount Pictures, 2018)

Ethan/Benji/Ilsa. This one is so fucking dense and amazing. I love the way Ethan is just so fucking in love with both of these people and keeps imagining them fucking and feels terrible about it, you just want Benji and Ilsa to put Ethan out of his misery, but ALSO this is hardcore physicality porn. The scene with Ilsa on Benji's shoulders is better than any sex scene I've read this year.

I'm With You, by fictionallemons

Luther's getting married again at a private resort on a tropical island. Only there's a mixup with the rooms and Benji and Ethan have to share. No big deal, right? One bed. Two friends. No problem. Ha.

Ethan/Benji. I keep rereading this one because it just has such intense longing and familiarity in it. The way it portrays Ethan and Benji as a unit, a foregone conclusion even they themselves haven't quite figured that out, is perfect. Also I love the way Ethan handles the bed situation, the low grade annoyance he has at the repeated question. Benji, get a clue, my man.

Someone New, by fictionallemons

After Fallout, Benji thinks Ethan and Ilsa are together and he only wants to be happy for them, even it kills him to see Ethan with someone else. He's got to try to get over Ethan. But some things are just impossible. Mutual jealousy, mutual pining, cute texting, and a happy ending, of course.

Ethan/Benji. LOOK, THE WAY TO MY HEART IS ETHAN BEING JEALOUS AND NOT HANDLING IT WELL. Also the fact this fic acknowledges Ethan's emotional growth from Fallout, chef's kiss. But really the moment when Ilsa's like "Seems we missed the show" and Ethan says "I wish we had" ETHAN OH MY GOD. Also the subtle way Benji is needling Ethan a little, subconsciously at least-- it's good!

it takes a lot (to know a man), by thistableforone

"So I just… want to remind myself that we're alright." He says it like that, with a general we that sounds more like a specific you. And because Ethan does know what it feels like, he doesn't question him any further. If Benji needs to spend time with him to feel better, he won't deny him. Takes place after Fallout. Ethan is recovering and Benji goes to live with him to help

Ethan/Benji. A longer one, hell yeah. This one truly wallows in the aftermath of Fallout, which is where my brain lives 90% of the time, so I appreciate it. Also Ilsa pointing out why the fuck did Luther give her that speech but not Benji-- finally someone said it. But really this fic is about Benji and it breaks my heart.

magnetic field being a little too strong, by oopshidaisy

“This is strictly recon,” Ethan says. It’s maybe the seventeenth time he’s said words to this effect since they arrived at the party. “We can’t do anything that’ll raise suspicion. Understand?” Post-Rogue Nation. Benji and Ethan go undercover and find themselves in one of those spy jams that only surprise kissing can solve.

Ethan/Benji. This is the one with the INCREDIBLE passage about Benji realizing why Ethan's never been slapped for pulling the fake kissing thing on missions. Also I love how... this feels like a date. To Ethan, this is a fun mission with his Benji, and it feels like it. Benji's voice here is pitch perfect, feels like its right out of Rogue Nation.

The Missionary Position, by matchsticks

Ethan and Benji have to pretend to be a married couple for a mission. Well, Ethan and Benji are already a married couple, but now they have to pretend to be pretending to be a married couple for a mission, and the rest of the team has to help them keep their secret. It'll definitely all work out fine. Probably. Hopefully.

Ethan/Benji. Listen. This one is hilarious.

THERE, there's some stuff to get you started, folks! and you can always hit up mine. I have periphery (in which everyone Benji works with is a little in love with him and Ethan just doesn't deal well), all i need is a certain trigger (in which Ilsa and Benji are in the Syndicate and Ethan trips into romancing them both), and the big AU you'll need a new name to survive this (in which Benji is Ethan's physical therapist and a lot of things start to change)

Looking over all this, it seems my favorite thing is when Ethan is just unhinged and Benji is unfortunately into that.

[lucabyte]

Your gender thought type essays have made me curious about what your oc creation/development process is like! It seems to be something you put a lot of thought into and that’s very interesting (especially cause my circles don’t often go into detail in that area)

I'm delighted to hear you're curious!! I'll give as thorough an answer as I can manage, though it'll likely be a bit disorganised. Okay, so... I'm gonna use a couple examples for this, and since you specified gender stuff I'm gonna go for some where gender/sexuality are integral, even if in seemingly counterproducive ways (but that'll be the last few...)

So. The first character that comes to mind here for me in terms of like... A lot of thought going into their gender is Lavender.

So going all the way back... Lavender was made in 2015.

Spreadsheet puts her at the 13th character in the setting, creation-date ways! So she's Been around a while.

Part 1: A Core Idea

Now, why was Lavender made? This is the first step of character creation. Well, she was made to tick a bit of a box. I realised my only girls at the time were all tomboyish so I needed a cute girl. And this was 2015, so she arose in the form of a Waifu Joke. She was intended to be a side-character with no real plot ties, so I just designed a character as cute as possible, named her simply (Lavender Wafeu == literally Colour and Waifu) and was basically done? 7 months later I would make Mafioso to slightly further the joke, in that giving Lavender a girlfriend makes her unpursuable* as a waifu. This also gave me a stark butch/femme pair, and I recall around this era there was a joke going around on tumblr of 'Indestructable Lesbians' as opposed to buried gays. This kinda became their thing. Two lesbians the plot wouldn't touch and they wouldn't be endangered.

.... And then that was kinda it. She was a cute girl who was fun to draw, shy, and reserved in nature. An opposition to Mafioso's brash (but secretly a little nervous) demeanor. I would literally just liken this to flutterdash outright. I was basically just doing flutterdash in terms of their personalities.

SO: This is the first step to all my characters. Find a core concept, or more likely, a core joke. Lavender's core joke is a very rough and (frankly unfunny) "your waifu isn't going to fuck you" joke. But you can see how she was built out of it. And we'll get to how that building happened next.

(^ Weird 2015 era lavender with her total lack of emotive range and flat characterisation)

Part 2: Dormancy

Lavender stayed unchanged for quite a while, in this flat state. She picked up a few things, mostly little 'twists' to her character. ie. she could hold her own in a fight, is surprisingly quick to jump to (cartoonish) violence, and likes a good steak. All very basic little things, obvious "oh bet you didn't expect That" contradictions.

She didn't recieve much attention during this time despite me really liking her design still. Mafioso languished even worse in this era, with her mother Omerta picking up most of the development instead. Overall, these two were very, very boring. No amount of little superficial additions could save them from this.

But it... hints at something, right? It hints that maybe there's a facade somewhere, that maybe the perfect-cute-girl thing might actually take a little bit of effort to upkeep...? Hrm...

Part 3: A Fresh Perspective

So, sometime in 2020, I was finally remaking my 2016-era spreadsheet of all my characters from the ground up, since I needed to remove a lot of ms excel specific formatting it had in it.

And while going through, I was being helped by @samhainian, who I had befriended in the years between. And they remarked that I didn't have enough directly trans characters in the cast, to which I agreed. I had a handful of tokens at the time (Adder and Angel spring to mind?) but not many more, so we literally just went down the list with suggestions. And when Sam suggested Lavender, I reacted with confusion. Because... Wait. Is she not trans? But she's so feminine? All of my characters lean extremely gender-neutral in presentation unless they're trying to do gender on purpose...?

And this just, unlocked her whole character like a skeleton key.

I was making her do her gender on purpose. The reason she had those contradictions is because she's putting in the effort to appear like this perfect, girl-next-door, waifu type. Something that doesn't really work if she doesn't have girlhood to prove.

From here, her coy 'maybe she has more to her than cute girl' hints were instantly recontextualised as a thing She was Doing. And instead of being random superficial tidbits, they were Depth. And her cartoonish 'extremely mild-mannered and polite persona' suddenly became a very human facade.

So, she had a new core to build around. And her lack of anything going on before in terms of backstory suddenly felt contextual? She's clearly fresh new to this. She had already had the backstory of being a very young (about 19~21) person who had moved to a new town to live on her own-- Suddenly that makes sense. She's forging a whole new identity. Her polite 'never really talking about herself because she's an object for the audience to desire' quietness becomes intentional evasion. She doesn't have a backstory, because she doesn't want it to be any of your business.

And ironically, this immediately Gave Her the backstory she had been missing. Her wiles and hidden 'smarter than she looks' becomes so relevant as to be real character traits...

I already somewhat went over this (and a number of other gender thoughts, including my thoughts on my myriad 'cis but not' or 'nb in a specific direction') in a thing I wrote, woof, 2 years ago: (LINK) which was a ramble about a lot of my character's genders... In that I summarised Lavender's gender as such:

Part 4: In practice

Okay so it's all well and good that I realised Lavender is Trans Gemder. But that's not where it ends, because she finally became refined and polished to the point of um. Quadrupling her image count on toyhouse. because of Purrgatorio.

See, the other reason I was getting my spreadsheets in order was for Purrgatorio (the original flavour of it, the visual novel) and I needed to just do some general housekeeping.

Lavender, Mafioso and Ess shared a route in VN!Purrgatorio, being that I saw them as a triad of characters. While this characterisation of her basically did nothing interesting, aside from showing her fiery side, this would later become the basis for her being one of the first characters met in actual purrgatorio, where she, being polite and nice, and established back in 2016ish to be one of the few characters Chrome isn't a total asshole to--- She gets to meet Ali.

Now this is where I would say a lot of the real development happened. Right there, in action, in putting her to the test of real writing. All of her characterisation stops being hypothetical, and instead something I have to portray. And I found as I wrote, she grew more deep simply by giving her such an odd situation to be in. And of note, by having Ali be intimidated by talking to cute girls, it gave her the upper hand in the dynamic-- Really allowing me to show off her ability to lead a conversation, and her quiet confidence in herself-- as well as hinting at the thing she isn't quite so confident with.

It's also allowed me to start thinking about her sexuality, too. This is another thing that goes back to her flimsy core concept. The Waifu is generally a sexless being in their own right, having sexuality projected onto them by the narrative or audience. In fact, a lot of shounen girls don't get to be romantically forward-- both because it risks alienating the intended selfshipper-audience, and also because showing too much confidence and autonomy in their sexuality can be too threatening for the chuunibyo audience, who aren't yet comfortable with their own sexuality and-- wait! Look at that! Another part of the core concept I can toy with! Wouldn't it make sense, if she's meant to be a deconstruction of The Waifu Archetype, for her to have that confidence and autonomy? This is what 2015-me was clumsily trying to grasp with the whole lesbian thing... So why not just re-angle that into her being confident and forward. It fits with her new personality, so it works!

*oh hey there's that asterisk. I also realised she had chemistry with Ali! Given the way she is level-headed and rather logical deep down, her curiosity drives this. She's not going to pass up a chance to know a literal Alien... But it also further illustrates how badly Mafioso has been left in the dust by her. (She's been quietly tinkered with behind the scenes ready for her reintrodcution, but for a while, I was really struggling!! Like, considering overhauling her character levels of struggling!! But, we managed, I think. She's yet to be introduced and put into practice yet, but it's upcoming.) To the point where I've broken them up! At least for now. Mafioso needs to prove herself I think, since now she can't rely on Lavender being waifish and easily won over.

TO SUMMARISE THE MAJOR POINTS THERE:

Any joke/idea can be a suitable core, even if flimsy, you just need to find which parts are interesting to either double down on or deconstruct

It's okay for characters to take a long time to form! If you don't feel connected to a character they might need a shake up, but also YOU might need a shake up. Lavender needed a new perspective from someone with a different approach to gender as me, and for I myself to become more comfortable with Real Sexuality (ive literally just aged nearly 10 years itll happen) before she could really shine.

Following on from the above you basically never need to throw a character out completely. You should try and find what it is you like about them, or consider core, and perhaps try and reframe or refract those elements. A character might get demoted to non-main status sometimes, but why throw away that depth? They can hang out on the sidelines if that's better for them.

Sometimes a character won't feel done until you write them! You can do this with RP if you have the ability, but I wrote Purrgatorio instead, which is intentionally low-stakes and non-canon so I don't get too freaked out about writing it. It's a playground for testing characterisaton, and putting characters in weird pairings they otherwise wouldn't to see if something interesting arises.

SOME OTHER EXAMPLES FROM MY BACK CATALOGUE:

Lavender is a bit of a daunting pick, given that she's spent nearly 10 years slowly rotating in my brain, only to finally become realised in the last 3-4 or so. But I do have some more recent quick examples, as well as another giant thing you can read if you want to.

GIANT THING TO READ IF YOU WANT IT: I've posted abt this before way ages ago but I wrote up a whole gigantic thing on my probably 2 most in depth characters. It can be found here (LINK) and also has a longass diatribe about their genders, sexualities, and the core thing they were originally riffing on. (Which was like. a specific type of anime boy ship i was a sucker for, that I eventually realised I was making way more interesting than most anime i was into was bothered to do)

It's a very thorough look into my thought process, including ANOTHER diatribe on purrgatorio granting me some good boons of character.

OTHER EXAMPLE 1: ALI

Okay Ali is too complicated to get into thoroughly here, but they're another good example of a core idea spiralling out.

Core idea: Blank slate visual novel protagonist, so gender neutral and a bit of a flimsy everyman. No real name, only a default name if you left the entry blank. (Ali, a shortening of the canon surname). #FFFFFF skin to keep the jokey ambiguity and pink hair to reference Dante's silly red hat.

Twists: Canon assigned surname of Alighieri, implying them to be some descendent of The Real Dante. And they're in a VN so there's a spooky easter egg where you can roll a death screen that shows them as an ominous demonic Thing instead of a regular human.

The, VN!Purrgatorio got shelved, and because they were human instead of a furry they got shuffled into other projects. A furry version of them showed up in a different project riffing on the demon thing, making them a child-friendly antichrist with 2 siblings based on the tragicomedy masks. Then that furry version's stuff got shoved onto the human version who was just a half-demon kid in Creature Feature. THEN we decided they'd be half-succubus to keep the ability to shift between the sexes (referencing the blank slate gender ambiguity of the VN). THEN that became 'nerd who is freaked out by being a sex demon and doesn't like the ethical implications of their existance but is still kinda miffed that they arent Getting Any' who STILL HAD the antichrist stuff from the furry version....

(^ technically a completely seperate ali ive not done anything with in years lol)

Like you get it. It's a giant katamari of STUFF from all different settings. This is what I mean by 'you never really need to scrap a character'. Because after all this shoving them around into different projects and them accruing things (the 'guy who is really concerned with informed consent is a succubus/incubus' angle really informed them here, as well as deciding that they're apathetic about the magic sex characteristic changes.) we threw them right back into the original setting of Purrgatorio and it went WAY BETTER once they actually had some character traits!

But that core idea still stands a little. Not in them being an everyman, but in prompting them to become an altersex character when fleshed out, and in the way that they're distinctly still tied to that second-person-narration that VNs have, and the eventual 4th wall break they got in the VN informed their powerset as 'narrative manipulator'.

also as a note here: DON'T BE AFRAID TO PLAY WHILE YOUR SETTING ISN'T DONE!

VN!Purrgatorio got shelved because I redid a bunch of MYMK's setting when I was finishing it up. But It was worth it even unfinished.

Ali themselves when in Current!Purrgatorio has spent, up until very recently, their whole time with their home setting (Creature Feature) in a state of being deeply unfinished and in need of a reshake. It's finally getting that now, but it was still fine for me to reference what I knew likely wouldn't be changing! They were able to function just fine without their home setting being solid for upwards of 2-3 years. Obviously this shouldn't be done for *finished* works, but when you're just playing, like I am with Purrgatorio, it's okay to keep things fluid and effectively quietly retcon things later.

OTHER EXAMPLE 2: PEACH TRACY

Peach tracy is an actually recent character, and is under @samhainian's purview, as with the rest of Moraine. Now, she was made with a very distinct gender/sexuality in mind, unlike a lot of my characters who stumble ass-backwards into one.

Peach is the 'token girl' of her group (the other two being Red, a closeted and unaware transfem, and Toyon a he/him butch.) and well, her gender is basically "tik tok girlie", as is her core concept. She only works if she's a pampered cisgender straight girl from a rich background. She's nice! But she's privileged.

Her twist however, is that she is wracked by the guilt of her and her group letting a friend take the fall for an Illegal Youtube Prank to save their own skin, and as such her entire character unravels from there.

Because she has all this guilt, it stands that her Girliepop Persona must be somewhat constructed. She's leaning in to the femininity as a shield and a deflector. She's, y'know, a white girl.

So her gender ends up being overperformed, and she's petrified of expressing her sexuality due to it being tied up in this image of purity. She's the exact type of person to psyche herself out into believing those 'having a crush on your friend is problematic' tumblr posts.

But none of this would really work if she did not start as a (white) girl, able to use that shield. If she were a dude or nonwhite-coded she would not have the ability to react to her situation that way. Ergo, she is actually built out of her identity this way.

(As for her sexuality, she is unhealthily self-flagellating about it, so it ends up just being unpleasant. This was a genuine surprise to myself and @samhainian when we were discussing it. We hadn't thought about it prior to starting some lighthearted riffing about assigning characters kinks literally bc we were bored when we had the horrifying realisation that Peach would not be safe about this shit AT ALL due to a lack of self preservation and way more ambient suicidality than we realised she had until we dug here. We quickly resurfaced from the joke conversation into an actual deconstruction of how she's internalised a lot of blame and decided to go distinctly carceral with it for herself. so there's another tip: Even if you aren't making nsfw content, poking around a character's sexuality will sometimes reveal raw truths that come from sexuality being very vulnerable by default.)

Peach is overall an interesting contrast to Lavender, since they're both Girls Being Feminine On Purpose, but one is transfem and one is. Well god idk what peach will end up but she'll need to unpack it.

(I note that peach is white also, since while I rarely intentionally racially code my characters, sometimes i SUPER do.)

OTHER EXAMPLE 3: VIRGIL MALACODA

Okay because I've talked about a number of girls so far lets be brief about a fuckin Dude.

Virgil is like, some real toxic masculinity shit. He would probably be fucked up in some different way if he were born a girl, but he's distinctly falling into a lot of traps due to his upbringing as "A dude who was promised he'd get power when he grew up".

His dude-ness is a very flat fact to me in that way, and he's similar to Tabitha in that regard since it's one of the ways they're meant to reflect each other. Dudes who's place as patriarch-to-be saved them from being pawned off as a wife, but is still responsible for a lot of their misery. Certainly the better of the two options, but could still be better!

Virgil's themes of masculinity being a simultaneous shield and blinder is a simple one but I go back to it a lot because it can be true a lot of the time in antiquated social situations like, say, the upper class. So, being a villain, he does end up being a condemnation of the structures that disincentivise healthy masculinity. He's necessarily amab because he is the result of how particularly regressive views of masculinity can shape a child into a repressed and miserable adult.

Whether or not virgil stays a dude or not if he ever figures out his way of viewing power structures was Fucked Up and Bad is anybody's guess. It's not really Masculinity that was hurting him, so much as a rich asshole's narrow view of it. So there's no real reason for him to reject a healthier version of it outright, it's just whether he'll ever get there...

CLOSING REMARKS:

Okay writing in the tumblr post editor is starting to scare me with errors so I should probably close this out. But yeah this is a little bit of a run down of where my head is usually at when making characters. A lot of it is just batting jokes back and forth until they become something more solid, which I don't know that I really got across here.

Like, a lot a lot of my characters are built around a core joke. Usually what-ifs like.

"What if a shounen-type card game anime protagonist was just as brash and head-full-of-air as the rest of the, but a girl"

"What if Ed Sheeran had a cheating scandal with two tboys and it made the radio fucking horrible to listen to"

"What if a wrestler was really, really wide and also clearly into rubber"

"What if somebody took the 'blonde anime boy who barely shows emotion' trope seriously because that kind of repression can't be good"

"What if a guy was specifically interested in becoming a Soil Scientist from like, age 4, and never gave up that dream"

^ If you can figure out who's who then you win a prize (a kiss)

But yeah. Jokes upon jokes upon jokes. Assign them classpects and pokemon and put them into speed/power/fly formation and just joke for as long as you possibly can until you hit on something. And if a joke feels really right, or completely off the mark, try and dig in and find why.

Like. I joke about the sexuality thing but it does help since it's so disarming and immediately a bit childishly funny often. Sometimes you'll end up with say, something as serious as "Despite being friends with The Fence, Selene probably shouldn't be left unsupurvised in kink spaces because she ABSOLUTELY does not have the ability to restrain herself and not take her anger issues out on strangers" and sometimes its as silly as "even outside of being asexual, ess is never jackin that shit because if he got caught in any kind of mildly embarrasing scenario it'd ruin his whole year so the cost/benefit analysis of that really doesn't work out"

Because like. both tell you about the characters, and you can also read them more broadly now. Selene ruins relationships by letting anger at unrelated things get in the way, Ess keeps himself from doing even utterly harmless things out of deep social anxiety.

Like yeah, i got to them via goofing about sex but it's still character analysis at the end of the day so long as you put The Reading first*

*DISCLAIMER: im asexual im only ever doing stuff for the read lol . it might be more difficult if youre allosexual . or maybe itll be easier. i dont know just dont get too lost in the sauce. think with ur brain not ur other parts

ALSO gender and sexualty often end up linked so it makes sense to end up at one from the other a lot of the time. It happens.

And as an addendum if you wonder where i tend to literally Design characters? Like visually? It's usually at some point between the first few jokes and before naming them. Though sometimes names come first.

OVERALL: A character should have a core concept to them to start with. This core concept CAN SUCK and be flimsy, or a joke, or even a joke you no longer find funny. But you can always refer back to it when building a character up. If you want to capture the concept, work toward it, if you want to deconstruct or mock the concept, then do that instead. If you sour on a joke, maybe find a way to satirise or deconstruct what you're no longer finding funny.

Sometimes this core concept is steeped in a specific cultural thing, be it race, gender, sexuality, ect, and those necessitate thinking about. Sometimes it's not and those things can practically be an afterthought, but once you lock it in it's likely to begin informing the later choices as it becomes part of the scaffolding.

(To hop back to why you even asked this Q: I so thoroughly read Siffrin as amab BECAUSE they had so many themes about Not Having Changed and clinging to what they knew, and so working backwards from that it only made sense to me that they mustn't've done a big overhaul YET or made any big decisions about that YET by the time we see them in game, because that's what gels best with their themes of being Too Afraid To Change and being a contrast to Isa who has changed a bunch, and a comfort to Mira who hasn't changed at all in their gender. Then it was a case of looking through the game for more evidence either for or against this reading, and I found a lot of evidence for it, in my opinion. But I did so Because I noticed that the themes were Stronger if read this way, and because I conceptualise characters as themes and concepts FIRST it made sense to try and work back to those themes.)

But yeah. TL;DR:

Ground yourself with a Hook for the character, sometimes making it sillier makes it easier to think about.

Try and think about how they would be formed by the world around them, or what their behaviour says about how they must've been formed

Don't worry about things taking a long time. Sometimes a character needs someone else to make a suggestion, or for you to grow and change a little before they click

Putting it into action helps a lot, even if its just roleplay or short snippets. If you can't 'feel out' what a character would do in a situation, that's when it's time to think about their goals for how they want to be seen as a person (including, if they don't want to be seen at all...!) and what hard boundaries they have say, morally.

I am by no means a like. Expert on any of this. I'm fumbling through it all just as much as the next guy (AND... I'M ACTUALLY SOMEWHAT OF A HYPOCRITE. I THINK CHARACTERS ARE BEST SEEN AS 'NARRATIVE CONSTRUCTS' RATHER THAN 'PEOPLE', SO ALL THIS ADVICE BEING SO CHARACTER FOCUSED RATHER THAN NARRATIVE FOCUSED IS MISSING THE FOREST FOR THE TREES LOL....) but apparently people do Like my characters? So, what do I know i suppose LMAO

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

kenjaku is genuinely so creepy and i think that’s one of the reason why i love him SOOO much !! ive always had a liking towards characters who are insanely messed up and grotesque and kenny is like the perfect example of that. hes gross like — actually. i think hes a good example of how genuinely fucked up jjk is, and as much as people hate him i think he’s such an amazing character. gege’s dark writing when it comes to him and sukuna is so IWHSHSBSHEWJW !! sukuna being a cannibal and his entire thing revolving around cooking is so cool to me. like his entire character circles around things like that. he can use fire which.. cooking! when you cook you can eat! sukuna eats ppl.. his malevolent shrine is just a bunch of slashes which cut you to death and when you cook you’re usually cutting and chopping things.. with kenjaku and the whole pregnancy thing as well.. the womb.. it’s like disturbing and honestly it makes ppl a little sick but i find it so interesting because that kind of writing i LOVELOVEEE SMM!! kenjaku was willing to do the most nasty things just to get his plan to work. he’s such a scum of the earth guy sigh.. that’s why im so SOO happy i found this blog because you also like kenjaku and i can safely talk about my love for him without getting jumped 💔 im really sorry this is so long!! im just really happy it’s a safe spot to talk about these things! i love horror :3

i love kenny 🐑

THIS THIS THIS THIS . GOD. THIS.

i literally love you so much lambnon you worded this perfectly….. i loveeeee horror elements in fiction and i agree that jjk does it so so SO well!!!! sukuna & kenjaku are such great examples because not only are they morally reprehensible in really disgusting ways, they also … feel literally no shame over it. they never try to justify it . morality doesn’t even exist to them, and i think villains like that are sooo fun <33

sukuna’s cannibalism and general thematic ties to food & eating is SO tasty especially since it all goes back to him eating his twin in the womb … it’s like eating is a curse that follows him around but he’s made it into a point of pride. you know? he’s so unabashedly awful and i loveeee that about him…..

AND KENJAKU. i agree on all points!!!! everything!!!!!! he’s soooooo creepy and so eerie and so gross. i find it really funny and fitting that even sukuna thinks of kenjaku as a freak LMAO. which is . extra interesting when you remember that the womb is a special place even to sukuna… and kenny sort of… perverts it. he makes it into his own science lab. it’s so twisted and sickening and tasty because kenjaku doesn’t just impregnate that woman from the kamo clan, he impregnates himself!!!! and i can only imagine that he did it partially just out of worldly curiosity which is….. sooo . him? he’s so insane? 😭

literally nothing is off limits to kenjaku, and that makes him such a fun villain….

^ i think he says it best himself :3c

the womb motif in general is also so . Good… the motherism of it all….. i’m forever bitter that we never got to see his domain in action because the fact that it’s basically a manifestation of a womb realm is soooooo fucking sick oh my god. body horror is so scary to me but also so insanely tasty and the fact that kenjaku’s whole character revolves around it just!!! scratches my brain. no pun intended.

anyway …. this ask made me a little insane. i’m so happy to have you here lambnon!!!! :’3 this blog will always be a safe space for lovers of the grotesque / of kenjaku in general <333 our beloved scum!!!

[wandabear]

EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY [CH 4] - WANDA MAXIMOFF X F!READER

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Summary:   Y/N proposes to Wanda and she says… no. That’s when things get complicated, too much.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x f!reader | Natasha Romanoff x oc

ㅤㅤㅤ    CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO  CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX - finale

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Warning:  Somewhat graphic MCU violence, ANGST and FLUFF. As you know me: Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. This mcu style is my own, Natasha Romanoff will not die here. You're warned. She deserves to be happy.

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Songs you've need to listen reading this:

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The Great War Fade into you - Mash up ㅤㅤㅤ   

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER FOUR ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I: THE GREAT WAR

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“Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff are in violation of the Sokovia Accords. They assaulted the king of Wakanda and now they're helping two of the most dangerous fugitives, Y/N Y/L/N and Julia Hale. Make an example out of them.” General Ross ordered his soldiers, who after taking courage entered the building surrounding it.

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It wasn’t an easy mission to find themselves against three enhanced and the fucking Black Widow.

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Ross's phone started ringing a few seconds later, unaware that a certain redhead was watching him through the cameras around the place.

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“Yeah?”

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“Don't do this.” Natasha left the phone on speaker and looked at herself in the mirror.  “Come after me... I mean, you're embarrassing yourself. It looks desperate.”

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“Thought maybe you'd be calling me to cut a deal. 'Cause from my vantage point, it's the federal fugitive who's desperate.” Ross's voice showed how proud he felt, he had captured the elusive Black Widow.

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Natasha sighed, changing her blouse for a nice grey hoodie. “From my vantage point, you look like you could use some bed rest. What is this, your second triple bypass? You look like shit.”

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“I wouldn't worry about me.” Ross scoffed. “We got your sister, she's fiery! We got Barton, we got the Bishop girl, Sam Wilson...”

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Natasha clenched her jaw when she heard her sister's name, he knew how to press those weak points. Or at least try.

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“Everyone will recognize you all, Rogers is on the run too. You got no friends. Where you gonna go?”

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“I've lived a lot of lives before I met you, Ross.” Nat smiled and took her phone. “You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. I'm done.”

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She ended the call and left that bathroom. As she walked to the bow of that boat, Ross right now was breaking into a long ago abandoned apartment.

Nat played him a trick again, he took the bite perfectly.

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“All good?” Y/N asked as she watched the redhead approach breaking that disposable phone.

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“The asshole swallowed it all.” Natasha threw the phone into the water. There was no one but them and some people sleeping, it was barely five in the morning.

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The breeze and the mist from the Norwegian fjords in front of them showed them one of the most beautiful landscapes they had ever seen.

Y/N handed her a cup of coffee and they both shared a moment together while Wanda and Jules rested before they reached Sæbø.

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“Perfect. Now we just... let's try to keep up.” Y/N sighed and looked around.  Sæbø was a fairly quiet town, and living on the outskirts would give them a great advantage in staying unnoticed.

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“We need to draw less attention.” Nat licked her lips and leaned against the ship's rail, watching that beautiful place. “I never came to Norway, you know?”

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"It's beautiful." The brunette smiled. “Thank you for doing this, you didn't have to. You could have stayed on Stark's side, you know he would have supported you."

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“I know.” Nat sighed and turned to see her friend. “But I wouldn't leave my friends behind, Yelena wouldn't forgive me either.”

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Just remembering her sister and the conditions in which they surely kept her broke everything inside the spy.

Nat struggled a lot to find Yelena again and gain her trust, leaving her on the raft for a while longer was painful but necessary.

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“We can do this, and soon we will rescue Yelena. We just need time to put together everything we need.” Y/N placed her hand on the redhead's shoulder. Nat's teary green eyes broke her heart.

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“You promise me?”

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“I swear, Nat. We'll go get her.”

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“We've got a generator outside. It's petrol-powered. And the septic tank will need a flush in a couple of weeks, but, you know, I've got a guy coming for that.” Richard got out of that trailer and turned to see Nat, who was perched against the door smirking. “You okay? I hear things. You know, something about the Avengers getting divorced...”

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“Ugh. It's fine.” Natasha shrugged.  “I'm actually better on my own.”

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The man arched an eyebrow, at least she was still looking really hot like always. “Are you sure?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Yeah.” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Because you can tell me, you know.” Richard smiled flirtatiously at her. “That's the way the whole friends thing works.” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “I know. I have friends.” Nat smiled and nodded toward the girls arriving at the trailer.  “They’re there… and I don't pay you to worry.” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Ouch.” The man teasingly touched his chest and then walked to his car. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

At that time, Y/N parked the small Lada Niva jeep in front of the campsite. They all started to unload all the supplies they had brought from three markets in the town. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N wore her hair in two braids, a huge plaid shirt and a cute beanie. Jules now had a wild ‘bisexual-bob’ cut with a few streaks of blonde, quite different from her typical dark hair. Wanda was the one who had made the makeover and according to the girls: she did an excellent job. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ And Wanda kept her brown hair but with bangs, making her look adorable and different. No one had recognized them until now, and if they did, they just smiled kindly and kept the secret to support them. They saved the world so many times, people saw that and cared for them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Did you get rejected again?” Y/N joked at Richard and he just shrugged. Wanda smiled - she knew Richard didn't stand a chance with Nat- and Jules just rolled her eyes. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “She is hard to catch.” Richard got in his car and drove off. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ The three arrived at the first trailer, while the other was a little further away, near the river. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Richard stopped by for some smooch or what?” Y/N joked, but Natasha just completely ignored it. Wanda just said a soft 'ew'. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Very funny… but seriously speaking, it's all done.” Nat showed them all the place, both trailers had a cozy bedroom, a bathroom, a nice sofa and TV, as well as a small kitchen. Everything was pretty cozy and good. “The idea would be that we live two in each trailers.” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ They all agreed. Wanda walked through the trailer snooping around the kitchen area and the bedroom. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “The story, if the police come close - which I highly doubt - is that we are Aussies backpacking the world.” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It sounds pretty good.” Y/N nodded. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Looks good.” Wanda added. “Better than that small room in Budapest.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Good. Here are some important items, passports, weapons, some personal stuff you may need.” Nat took two of the bags and gave one to Y/N. “Wanda you coming with me, Jules and Y/N together.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Y/N raised a brow. “That doesn’t sound safe, if they find us, you’re two Avengers with their faces on the magazines. They would recognize you instantly.” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Y/N and me, you and Jules.” Wanda tried, trying to hide her intentions to spend more time with Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Yeah, nice try.” Nat rolled her eyes. “Y/N and me, Wanda and Jules.” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They all looked at each other and then nodded, it didn't sound so bad.

“All that bloodshed, crimson clover. Uh huh, sweet dream was over. My hand was the one you reached for… All throughout the Great War...” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Her friend's voice made Y/N  smile, Jules had a beautiful voice, so deep and so beautiful that she could send chills down your spine when she sang. Though she didn't do it much. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, you can do it.” The currently blonde cheered her up. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and tried to think of some nice memory. Losing herself in that melancholic sensation and not letting be carried away by sadness, Y/N raised her hand and felt how the breeze hit her face. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The leaves of the trees on the ground began to swirl around them, nothing violent, like a slow dance. In perfect sync. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Y/N smiled when she noticed how the leaves danced, some clouds formed over them but the inhuman dissipated them carefully. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “How does it feel?” Jules asked. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s… it’s different. I feel everything, it’s like… when I’m angry the thunder-clouds talk to me, they beg me to let them rain. The power of the storm flows through my veins, my mind, it's part of me.” Y/N shrugged, few seconds later everything calmed down and the leaves fell to the ground. “That was good, right?”

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“Good? It was amazing! You are improving a lot... I’m proud of you!” Jules smiled proudly but couldn't help feeling a little sad, which her friend noticed.

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“You okay?” Y/N approached her.

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“I’m just… I used to be an agent, you know? I was good at it.” Jules swallowed, lowering her gaze somewhat sadly.  “Now I'm afraid of... of not knowing what I am.”

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Feeling that you are different and starting to know yourself was something incredible, scary but incredible. But what happens when you don't know what you are? Or rather: what you can do.

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“What happens if I explode? What happens if... something catches fire because of me? What would happen if...? I don't know.” Jules panicked but Y/N rushed to hug her. “What if I hurt you all? Maybe I should go, be alone...”

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“That will not happen, everything will be fine. You won't hurt us, okay?” Y/N smiled tenderly and took her hand, squeezing it gently.  “Soon you’ll know, when it is time, we will discover it together…”

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Jules didn't say anything, just seemed lost in fear and thoughts.

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“You with me?”

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“All the way.” The blonde smiled.

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Y/N nodded and took her arm so they could walk together down that path in the woods, coming back to the trailers.

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“So… You haven't talked to Wanda?” Jules smiles mischievously, biting her bottom lip.

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“Jules…”

ㅤㅤㅤ “What? You can tell me, I'm her roomie, remember?” She cocked her head to see Y/N. “I have to say: she has not stopped talking about you all this time. You two need to talk...”ㅤ

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“I don’t know how to do it.” Y/N sighed, she felt too lost and confused. It was so much easier when Wanda was acting like a jerk, it made 'ignoring' her so much easier. “She wants to try or something, I don't know. Last time she told me that she was very sorry for everything she did.”

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The blonde sighed and shrugged.  “Maybe…you should give it to her.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You think so?” Y/N couldn't believe it, she had to stop to see her friend face to face. “You're the one who was mad at her the most. You wanted to kick her as soon as you found out.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Well we all have our moments, don't we? Forgive and forget and all that shit.” Jules rolled her eyes.  “Besides, I heard how every day she came to talk to you while we were locked up… Y/N, she loves you and she’s sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But-”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And you know what?” Jules stopped, being serious this time. What she wanted most in the world was for her best friend and sister to be happy. “We’re running across the world, as if we were the worst criminals on this planet. Don't you think you deserve a little rest? We can end up locked up in the middle of the ocean, it's time for you to live. Be with her.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m scared.” Y/N shrugged and put her hands in the pockets of the hoodie. “What if she hurts me again? What if she walks away again and broke me again with her absence?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What if it doesn't happen?” Jules arched an eyebrow, winning this battle.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed in defeat. “Maybe…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Besides that a little sex wouldn't hurt.”  Jules teased and they both started walking, reaching the campsite soon.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Shut up.” Y/N giggled and pushed her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Go, talk to her… she was in our trailer doing some stuff when I left. Meanwhile, I'll go to... to town to buy something, or the river. Just try not to blow the roof off my trailer when you reach an orgasm.” Jules teased one more time and moved away from her, patting Y/N’s shoulder.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Now?” Y/N panicked when she saw the trailer door open and heard how Wanda hummed a beautiful lullaby.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Now it sounds on time.” Jules turned to see her but kept walking backwards.  “Remember that we do not have much life expectancy in this job.”

Y/N entered the trailer and watched as the brunette was humming and cooking something. She couldn't help but smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ “Hey, Wands.” ㅤㅤㅤ Wanda turned around quickly when she heard her, smiling as soon as she saw Y/N. That day got so much better. ㅤㅤㅤ “Hi! You came back, I thought you both got lost in the woods.” Wanda joked while drying her hands. Apparently she was baking some bread.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed. “We just went for a walk for a while, to clear our minds.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That sounds good, sometimes it's necessary when this is… too much...” Wanda sighed, looking around her.ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Today I was able to move the treetops a bit. Very slowly, without causing any trouble. No thunderstorms, no tornadoes, no hail. Just everything under control.” For the first time, she was glad to have some kind of control over her powers. It felt so good, she felt happy.

ㅤㅤㅤ

 “Really?” Wanda smiled widely.  “Wow, Y/N, that’s so good.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Y/N blushed and keep their hands in their pockets. Hoped Wanda wouldn't be able to hear her heart pound with her being so close.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“At least this time I didn't make it rain when I'm feeling a little sad.” Y/N joked but recalled one of their most interesting moments there. “That would draw too much attention to us again, especially when the forecast says it will be just cloudy all week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda giggled. “Yeah, I'm sure Ross must have a whole team googling ‘weird weather stuff’ around the world.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Maybe I should even be guilty of global warming!I bet you he'll tell that to the President!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

They both laughed and it felt so warm, so good and familiar. They could finally share a personal moment together after so much.

Y/N stayed for a moment watching as Wanda cut some vegetables and dropped them into the pot, stirring it slowly. Making a delicious sauce for spaghetti.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I like how the bangs looks on you. It takes my breath away.” Y/N sighed. Wanda looked up quickly, the hope inside growing exponentially upon hearing that.

ㅤㅤ

“Do you think so?” Those hopeful green eyes sparkled.ㅤ

ㅤㅤ

“I love it, and your brown hair is... lovely.”  Y/N walked over to her and stood by her side, tucking a strand of hair behind the ear.

ㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” The sokovian murmured, biting her lower lip. “I like how you look too.”

ㅤㅤ

“I did nothing.” Y/N looked at herself.

ㅤㅤ

“I know.”

ㅤㅤ

They both looked at each other without saying anything, just the exquisite tension that they missed so much.

Since they had been together, everything was so beautiful and different. So exciting and romantic enough to scare Wanda away completely and to hurt Y/N and keep distance from her.

ㅤㅤ

 “Wanda?” Y/N whispered.

ㅤㅤ

Wanda swallowed, without breaking the connection between their gazes.  “Yes, detka?”

ㅤㅤ

“I missed you.”

ㅤㅤ

Wanda smiled tenderly and happily.  “I missed you too.”

ㅤㅤ

“You hurted me so bad.”

ㅤㅤ

Well, that had been as long as she could take. Wanda felt she couldn't climb too high as she was soon plummeting back down.

ㅤㅤ

“I know.” Wanda looked down.

ㅤㅤ

“No, no like that.” Y/N pursed her lips, it was time to drop everything once and for all to heal. “You said I wasn't THAT person you saw a future with, you didn't even know you'd be with me that long.”

ㅤㅤ

“I've said a lot of things, I know that! I was so scared, Y/N.” The brunette hugged herself. “You have no idea how scared it was to love you that way and... to feel that you loved me as much or more than I loved you. Cause I love you, so much you can't even imagine. But I felt… I felt small and scared of losing everything, that it was more than what I deserve. I was afraid that I wouldn't be enough for you, that I didn’t deserve you.”

ㅤㅤ

“We know that. And I forgive you...” Y/N sighed, she settled next to the redhead. “But if we want to move forward, we have to let go of everything that hurts us.”

ㅤㅤ

“Move forward…?” Wanda looked at her without understanding, and without wanting to get too excited for nothing.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm sorry I asked you to marry me, maybe it was too soon.”

ㅤㅤ

“No! No… It wasn't... I was just afraid, I lost everything, my family, my country, and then I have you and... I was terrified of losing you. Watching you die like everyone around me.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N took her hand to gently caress Wanda's cheek. “You won't lose me.”

ㅤㅤ

Wanda blinked in disbelief, this was what she expected. “Is… Is this a… are we?”

ㅤㅤ

“I don’t know yet…” The taller woman narrowed her eyes playfully. “Let's go slowly, if that's alright with you.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N was encouraged to go further and hugged Wanda’s waist who, instantly upon feeling her touch, clung to her. It didn't take long for them to kiss again, to join once more in a caress that they had been waiting for so long.

ㅤㅤ

Wanda was lost in Y/N's soft lips, in that familiar and pleasant warmth. Her belly was so warm, screaming that she was completely in love with Y/N.

There was no case, no matter how long she refused to accept it, she was in love. Wanda Maximoff is in love.

ㅤㅤ

“How about we... have a date.” She sighed once they broke away from the kiss, smiling so excited.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N chuckled, she didn’t allow herself to let go of her waist. “Oh, Wands... I think we've been through more than one date, don't you?”

ㅤㅤ

“I know, but... now we're getting to know each other again, and everything has changed so much.” Wanda took courage, defeating all the nerves she felt. “Would you come on a date with me?”

ㅤㅤ

Waiting for a while, enjoying that, Y/N nodded before pecking those lips.  “Of course.”

ㅤㅤ

And while they tried to make their first date special, it didn't take long for them to end up in the huge bed in Wanda's room. Naked bodies finding each other under the soft sheets.

Y/N's lips ran down the back of her beloved, so slowly, little by little, discovering her once again. Making each other their own, complementing each other perfectly.

ㅤㅤ

The smiles were not lacking, the words of love and eternal promises. Wanda kissed Y/N’s hand when they intertwined their fingers, after making love all night.

Of course this was going to work, this time, nothing was going to stop them.

ㅤㅤ

“We still have to go on a second date, okay?” Y/N laughed when Wanda bit her naked shoulder and kept kissing her arm and chest.

ㅤㅤ

“All the dates you want… as long as they don't find out about us.”

ㅤㅤ

“Do you know something? Maybe I’m selfish but… I like this moment, together. Just us.” Wanda snuggled up against her girlfriend. “Without a huge noisy city and problems to solve like Avengers…. Is that selfish?”

ㅤㅤ

“No, it’s not, my love. And if it was…”  She took a moment to admire her body.  “It's not bad to be selfish sometimes, you know? It makes us human.

ㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I had to go inside because it's late and so fucking cold outside.” Jules got into the trailer trying to warm her hands, rubbing them together.  “In my trailer there are two lovebirds loving each other non-stop.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha -who was eating something on the sofa in front of the tv- looked at her in confusion, not sure if it was because of what she said or because Jules had walked in.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh.” Nat nodded. “I'm glad they fixed it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah.” Jules walked over and sat in one of the chairs, taking off her coat. The place was much warmer than outside. Natasha took one of her beer bottles and held it out to her.   “Oh, you watching Bond? Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yep.” Nat didn't take her eyes off the TV, lost in the dialogues she knew by heart.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Moonraker? Do you like Moonraker?” Jules smiled curiously, but Natasha quickly turned a bit annoyed.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, why? Will you also tell me that it is crap and that others are better?” The redhead raised an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I like it too. Besides to 'The spy who loved me'.” Jules shrugged and settled back to keep watching the movie, not realizing that the russian's gaze was still on her. “I didn't know you liked James Bond movies, guess it's something between spies...”

ㅤㅤㅤ

 “Kinda.” Natasha's serious face softened, perhaps she was too tough at times to let anyone else into her life. Yelena did it since they were kids, but Clint had given her the chance to be friends, something impossible for her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

When she joined the Avengers, her heart opened up a little more to that complex 'family'. But after that, she hadn't allowed herself to love or accept anyone else.

ㅤㅤㅤ

‘You're not a sportsman, Mr. Bond. Why did you break up the encounter with my pet python?’

‘Because I discovered he had a crush on me.’

‘Moonraker 1 on preset launch program...’

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I like how your hair looks on you.” The redhead said without further ado, almost like a whisper. She remembered the time where Jules and Y/N had been locked up, how guilt devoured painfully her all those weeks.

Natasha had broken many hearts in her life, but she had never been so sorry for one of them before.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, imagine if I were bald!” Jules teased.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I mean it. The blonde…”  She swallowed, leaving a small door open in that gesture. And Jules took it, putting the film aside for a moment to watch Nat. ㅤㅤㅤ “Thank you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Green and light brown met. Again, this one looks different.

It wasn't at a Stark party where flirting was normal, or somewhere in hiding to make out and then pretend nothing happened.

This was sharing.

ㅤㅤㅤ “What's that? jam?” Jules took that little jar and spoon from Nat’s hand, taking a good taste of that delicious jelly or whatever she thought it was. It was so salty, clearly it wasn't jam, Jules made a disgusted face and dropped the jar in the trash.  “Natasha, what the fuck?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey!” Nat complained, looking at the trash can.  “That’s a good caviar!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Jeez, couldn't you buy some chips or something?” She tried to wipe the taste from her mouth and wrinkled her nose. “Ugh…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, because I thought I was going to watch my fucking movie alone. Eating my caviar.” Natasha huffed. “And don't pretend, you know it didn't taste so bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N always buy chips.” Jules whispered mischievously, noticing how Nat turned to see her somewhat interested in that information. “And I don't think she'll come back, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha smirked. “I don't think so.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules chuckled and got up to grab some chips from Y/N's cabinet. She tossed one to Nat who quickly caught it. Both were lost in the movie for a while until one of the two broke the silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Nat whispered. “I know we haven't talked much since you… you know.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Since I called you heartless bitch?”  The blonde muttered as she ate some nachos.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Nat smiled a little amused.  “In fact you called me ‘The bitch with a selective heart’.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, yeah, I remember.” Jules smiled proudly, taking a sip of the beer.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You and I were never able to talk about everything that happened, Julia.” The spy knew the effect it had when she called her by that name.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“One, don’t call me Julia. Two, kind of hard when you spend time locked in a rock and then run around hiding from some governments.” The brown-eyed woman teased but never took her eyes off the tv.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You loved me.” Nat finally said, swallowing, saying it out loud was very different. “That night you said that you loved me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It's in the past.” Jules avoided looking at her, opening another bag of chips.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The russian tilted her head.  “Is it?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What do you want me to say, Natasha?” Jules snapped, staring at her now. “That I HAD feelings for you? That I cried like a fucking teenager and that turns my stomach just remembering it? Want me to say that I fall in love with you?  That I loved you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules let out a sad giggle.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, I did. I never felt so humiliated when you slept with another agent after that.” Jules stared into Natasha's green eyes, losing herself in them but not in the same way as before.  “and every time I remember… Every time I remember what I told you, and how you humiliated me for that, makes me want to hit myself so bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” Natasha genuinely apologized, feeling so much guilt inside. She didn't understand what was the desire to cry that she felt lately, a loneliness that she appreciated before and now drowned her. “I know I was harsh…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That wasn’t being harsh, that was being an asshole. Punishing me in front of my teammates to make a point.” Jules swallowed, feeling the bitterness.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't ready. I was taught that love is for children.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The blonde sighed and shook her head, completely defeated.  “Well, there's no point in debating that anymore, is there, honey?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Those words made Nat swallow, what was that feeling of sadness? Rejection perhaps?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We are no longer the same.” Jules drank some beer before keep going, licking her lips. “We're two... ex-agents on the run. Besides that now I am a freak with powers that I still don't know, and I don't know how to control.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Nat watched her with tenderness and perhaps some concern. “You’re not a freak.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyway...” Jules sighed. “At least I can say that I fell in love once. And with the amazing ‘Black Widow’, at least I won't be the only one.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The girl smiled and brought her beer closer to clink it against Nat's.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I don't feel very amazing right now.” Natasha bit her bottom lip.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules saw a certain sadness in those green eyes, knew instantly what she meant.  “It's not your fault. We'll go get Yelena and everybody, soon.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She took the spy's hand and squeezed it. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We just have to wait to get everything, the Quinjet and... we can go, I know.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

They both smiled tenderly, it was time to support each other.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why did you stop loving me?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules dropped her head back on the sofa, here we go again. “There's no point in talking about it, Romanoff.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Maybe I do want to talk about it now.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, now is a good time to talk about it?” Jules perhaps said something sarcastic and harsh, but hearing herself that way made her feel bad, she sighed and tried to calm down.  “It's pointless now, Nat.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why not?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Because there's no point in loving someone who can't love you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Because I'm a heartless bitch, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, because I'm not enough for you!” Jules exploded and then got up from the couch. “I am not enough and I never will be, you told me that. And I don't understand why you make me relive it now! Again!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha looked at her worriedly, noticing the girl's eyes fill with tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm fine, trying to move on. Maybe one day I'll meet a pretty girl, I don't know, who loves me as I am and for what I am. And I will stop being in love with an impossible crush like you.” She inhaled deeply trying not to cry this time. “We can be friends.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha frowned and stood up to face her.  “I don't want that.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Okay, teammates at least.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Nat was a little nervous for not knowing how to express herself.  “No, I don’t mean that. I mean, I want to be something else.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules frowned, trying to see the catch.  “Why now?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why not?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Is it because I'm your only option since we're running away?” ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha chuckled wryly.  “Do you think that would stop me? I lived as a spy, I had many lives before I was Natasha Romanoff."

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh cool, the woman of many lives.” Jules rolled her eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You've been spellbound with me for months, looking for an opportunity. You have it now, why don't you want it?” Nat couldn't understand what had changed in Jules’s heart this time.  “Why don’t you want me?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Because I'm better than this.” Jules said those words as if trying to believe it for the first time in her life.  “I'm better than ‘something to settle for and that's it’.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But I like you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She sighed. “I know, Nat, we fucked many times.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, you moron.” Nat smiled and shook her head. “I think I'm falling in love with you, for a long time.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

"And I don't know how to do it, I was never in love. I've always been in control of myself and my feelings, and now… I don't know how to do it when you're here."

ㅤㅤㅤ

Those words made Natasha sigh deeply, finally releasing one of the most powerful sentences of her life. And it felt good, pretty good. Finally.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Unlike Jules, who looked like a huge bucket of cold water had been dropped on her. Completely shocked.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh no.” The blonde mumbled. “Really?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Aren't you happy with that? I thought you would be.” Natasha frowned in amusement, stretching out her hand to take the girl's and they both sat down on the sofa again, sharing the blanket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I know, it's just… I-I never thought that would happen.” Jules swallowed, feeling her heart start beating faster than ever. “What are we going to do?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can go slow too.” Natasha offered, trying to look sure and confident, but inside her an endless number of flying things stirring anxiously. It felt so strange and charming for the first time.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can watch the movie.” Jules said barely, with a small smile on her lips and a special sparkle in her eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can do that.” Nat smiled one more time.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They both stayed together, watching the movie. Without realizing it, Jules laid her head on the redhead's shoulder and everything felt good, for both of them.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Both hearts beat fast, this time not because of sex but because of the closeness. And without realizing it, around that place some beautiful daisies grew quickly, under the moonlight. Something magic.

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ

But unlike the other two, going slow was not the idea at all. Since that night, Wanda and Y/N hadn’t separated again.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Of course, although Y/N spent a lot of time in Wanda's trailer, sometimes Jules kicked her out so she could rest one night on her own bed.

After sharing a delicious stew and a last dinner in that place they considered their home for a while, they were ready to move on with their plans.

ㅤㅤㅤ

In the distance, over the mountains, one of the most beautiful northern lights could be seen. An incredibly unique event.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What do we have?” Nat asked as she drank some of her beer, the four of them were around a nice bonfire under the moonlight.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Underwater prison, prisoners have no contact with the outside world, and they never return to it.” Y/N stroked the bridge of her nose.  “I spoke with a former S.H.I.E.L.D. The place is guarded by US Marshasls. It's not impossible but not easy either.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That place is for maniacs, it's a place for…” Natasha seemed quite worried.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Criminals.” Wanda finished the sentence, looking at the fire. The reflection from the campfire making her eyes look even more beautiful.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Our source said that Clint and Ant-dude made a deal, as long as they both retire.” Jules took a sip of the beer.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha nodded, at least Clint was safe. He had a family, he couldn't lose everything.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Steve will join us in Dublin.” Nat watched the three of them, handing them new long range earpieces. “You'll take out the Marshall's while we entertain Ross with a show of 'Rogers gives himself up'.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And then?” Wanda asked what everyone was thinking at that moment. “After that, what are we going to do?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Flee, possibly continue to live as nomads.” Y/N grimaced, pushing some wood towards the fire.  “They will come back to look for us, maybe more than before.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So…” Jules sighed and raised her beer, toasting. “Let's get them out of there.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“To them.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

"To family."

ㅤㅤㅤ

They all toasted their friends and enjoyed that drink of beer. It was their last night there, and they had to be strong because the next day, everything was going to change. Forever.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And things changed, quite a lot. Together with Steve, they all managed to get all their friends out of the Raft alive.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They began to live as nomads, from one place to another without finding a home. By carrying out the missions and taking care of things that the governments didn't do, they took justice into their own hands.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Because even though S.H.I.E.L.D fell and the Avengers were done, it didn't mean the cause was lost.

Things with Wanda improved a lot, although sometimes being together was difficult when you were hiding. Romantic getaways are rare, but at least they were together.

ㅤㅤㅤ

For example, the time they visited Rome momentarily, they took the opportunity to escape together.

Wanda took advantage of every moment to make Y/N fall in love again, even though Y/N was afraid. And Y/N took advantage to make each moment unique. Also that sex was so much more interesting when you are one of the most wanted women in the world.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N was controlling her powers so much better, understanding them more instead of repressing them. Wanda taught her a lot about it, reminding that fear was only going to make everything worse.

ㅤㅤㅤ When the day was sunny, she felt an enormous peace and a warmth that filled her with vigor.

When the day was rainy, she would rejoiced into the comfort and happiness. Feeling how the rain wrapped her in a fresh embrace, renewing her.

When there was a storm, she felt her blood pumping hard and her heart pounding fast. Feeling this unique adrenaline rush, Y/N felt complete and powerful. Lightning streaking across the sky, thunder making the earth tremble.

ㅤㅤㅤ

A wide smile formed on her lips. She felt complete.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And Wanda felt enormous happiness to see Y/N accept and understand herself.

Since she left Y/N that time, Wanda hadn't been the same, but now that they given themselves a chance together, Wanda felt like she was living again. A new opportunity that she wasn’t going to waste, ever again.

And they all saw it, they all saw again how in love they were. Not just Y/N this time, both.

Until one night, everything drastically changed. New York had been attacked again, and Earth just lost her best defenders.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda and Y/N were on a little romantic getaway on Scotland when they found out about this, while Natasha, Steve, Jules, and Sam watched the whole thing on tv.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Without hesitation, they all jumped into the quinjet as fast as they could to head to the Compound, where they were greeted by James Rhodes and Bruce Banner.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The world's on fire.” Those were the exact words of Y/N when she saw the videos on the screens, over and over again. The attack on New York, the day Tony and Spider-man were gone.

Thanos's ships were outside the stratosphere awaiting orders.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She reached for Wanda's hand to intertwine their fingers, sharing the same look of concern. This could be the end of everything, but they would be together until the end. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can do this.” Wanda whispered and leaned her head on Y/N's shoulder, as they waited for the Quinjet to land in wakanda. If a battle did take place, it would be ideal to do it where they  the local advantage.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can do this.” Y/N nodded, taking a deep breath.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you, detka... This is forever.” ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you, Wands.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

"When we get back… do you think…" Wanda bit her lower lip, a little nervous. “Do you think we could do…?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned blankly. “What?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Marry me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ That left Y/N speechless, she tried to search Wanda's gaze for some sign that it was a joke or that it was just part of the despair of the moment, but she could only see love on her girlfriend's look. Just that, just love. Right time, the right place.

ㅤㅤㅤ “Wands…”

ㅤㅤㅤ "Please, detka." Wanda sighed, wishing with all her heart that Y/N would say yes. "Marry me."

ㅤㅤㅤ

The sokovian took her girlfriend's hand. “This time is different… Y/N, I can't see a life without you. Let's get married."

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just stays silent for a moment, looking at her. And a smile begins to slowly appear on her lips.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda smiled feeling the tears forming in her eyes. "Is it a yes?"

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s a hell yeah! Let's get married, girl.”

ㅤㅤㅤ They both giggled and hugged each other tightly, before sealing that pact with a deep, passionate and needy kiss of love. Now all they need to do was survive the great war. ㅤㅤㅤ

Meanwhile, in the control cabin of the quinjet were those two women about to land in Wakanda, they only needed the coordinates that Steve was giving them and they would go through the shield that protected that sacred place. ㅤㅤㅤ

“Always remember we’re burned for better. I vowed I would always be yours… If we survived the Great War.” Jules sang to herself, remembering that beautiful song.

ㅤㅤㅤ Nat cocked her head to look at her with tenderness.  “Jules?”

ㅤㅤㅤ “Yeah?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Of endless words that she wanted to say, after being together for some time, the spy just tried her best:  “You’re a good co-pilot.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules chuckled, pressing a few buttons on the panel.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thanks, I worked my ass off on the S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy just to hear that.” The blonde joked, while making sure everything was alright. She turned to see Nat for a moment. “You okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“t's funny...” Nat cleared her throat. “My whole life, I didn't think I had any family. Turns out I got two, so... one of them's a bit of a mess right now.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It'll all work out, Nat.”  Jules sighed and reached out to squeeze her hand gently. “We will do it together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Smiling and nodding solemnly, Natasha trusted her girl's words.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Of course they hadn't given her any official name to this ‘thing’ yet, not even a relationship, they hadn't even told each other how much they loved each other.  But everyone knew it, even Yelena who saw them from afar and couldn't help but say "ew", making everyone laugh. But of course, inside was so happy for her big sister.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And although they tried to be brave, they gave everything of themselves in that battle. They fought against huge hordes of aliens, a genetically engineered race of extraterrestrial creatures, so awful and agressive.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“This is it, right?” Jules said feeling like she was out of breath when she saw how those creatures charged against them.  “The great war.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Whatever happens, please, stay with me.” Y/N whispered, looking at Natasha, Yelena and Jules. They gave themselves the strength to start with this. Wanda was taking care that Vision was safe, that the universe was safe depended on. Although all she could think about was y/n, hoping she was safe.

ㅤㅤㅤ

There wasn't much to say other than that it was one of the toughest battles of their lives. All the defenders of that Earth, fighting to make it survive another day.

Y/N took advantage of her powers to kill all the aliens she could, of course not too much because could get out of control and hurt everybody. She rose up, flying and smashed as many as she could with lightning and hurricanes. Fury and storm.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules did the same although she still tried her best being a simple agent with weapons and shield making a wonderful team with Natasha.

She hadn't discovered her abilities yet, but one day, she would.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Fall back! Fall back, now!” Y/N exclaimed trying to make the Wakandans in front of her move away, watching as those huge bladed wheel-like were heading towards her and the Wakandans. “Guys, we got a situation here. I can’t stop-”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“On my way.” Wanda spoke through the earpiece and got ready to go to help her, when something hit her with enormous strength. ㅤㅤㅤ

“She'll die alone.” Proxima threatened her, hitting Wanda with the grip of the sword hard enough to leave the sokovian crawling on the ground. "As will you."

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She's not alone.” Natasha's sassy voice made Proxima turn to look at her. Natasha was on one side and Yelena on the other, raising her Widow's batons, ready to start the battle.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everything seemed to go on their side, the battle was favorable for the Avengers until a portal opened, letting that fearsome villain through.

And as they could, each one of them faced the mad titan in the way they could to prevent him from reaching Wanda and Vision. And each one of them was defeated, since he wore the gauntlet.

Steve. Bucky. Sam. T'Challa. The Hulk. Each and every one of them fell.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N stepped in the way and caused one of the most powerful thunders to strike on him, but the titan used the reality stone to prevent her from doing it again. Y/N was punched badly, her nose was broken and blood dripped from it and her lips.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tried again but Thanos threw her against some rocks.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules tried to get in the way too, gritting teeth and trying her best, drawing a strength that she didn't know where it came from, she managed to make the earth shake, huge roots come out of the ground and catch him. But the Titan was stronger than that. He broke free and got rid of her too, as well as Yelena and Natasha.

They all fell and when he got the gem, that terrifying snap made everything change.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Where'd he go?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Steve?” Bucky muttered before falling apart and turning to ashes. Desperate, everyone looked around them to see if their friends were okay.

ㅤㅤ

“Wanda?” Y/N murmured and ran towards her beloved, who was on the ground crying.  “My love, come on.”

ㅤㅤ

She knelt down beside the sokovian to help her up, but seconds after taking Wanda’s hand, it began to disappear. “Wanda, no,no, no, no.”

ㅤㅤ

Wanda looked up to see the love of her life one more time, those huge green eyes full of pain, sadness and love saw looked at her for the last time. “I love you, detka.”

ㅤㅤ And she disappeared, just like that, in her arms. Y/N she burst into tears, shocked, terrified to see how the love of her life left her forever.

Y/N searched around as if trying to find her but everything was ashes, just ashes, and anguish everywhere. Crying impossible to contain, uncertainty and pain.

ㅤㅤ “Nat?” Jules whimpered reaching out her hand to hold Natasha's, who looked at her with a tender look. Natasha Romanoff turned to ashes along with everyone else.  “NATASHA!”  she yelled.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sestra?! SESTRA, WHERE ARE YOU?” Yelena also screamed through the forest, looking for the redhead, trying that whistle but never received an answer.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They got up to help those who were left, completely devastated by the loss.

Today the universe lost its greatest protectors, and half of its population.

Sighing heavily, Y/N stared at the screen once the meeting ended. She had been in contact with the remaining Avengers, who were at least trying to keep this world upright.

Steve was on an important mission, so it was their turn to take care of the Compound.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Where are you?” Y/N asked Rhodey, who had stayed on the line after everyone hung up.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Mexico.” Rhodes sighed tiredly.  “The Federales found a room full of bodies… Looks like a bunch of cartel guys, never even had a chance to get their guns off.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The inhuman leaned back in her chair, exhausted. “It's probably a rival gang.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Except it isn't.” Rhodes shook his head, knowing that Y/N would have a hard time accepting the truth but she had to.  “It's definitely Julia.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed, feeling her eyes fill with tears but she couldn't show weakness.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What she's done here... Y/N, what she's been doing for the last few years…” Rhodey felt enormous sadness for them, but Y/N had to understand what Jules had become. “She calls herself an 'eco-terrorist'. I mean, the scene that she left…” ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Call me when you have more information and please…” Y/N was blunt. “Do not engage, just call me. I'm the only one who can stop her.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Rhodey nodded and his hologram disappeared. Y/N breathed shakily, tried to stay calm. A cool breeze made the treetops move slightly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Easy, today's forecast does not say that there will be storms.” Her friend's hoarse voice brought her back to reality, Yelena approached her with two bowls of mac & cheese.

Sadness was reflected in those gloomy eyes, but the widow kept standing.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Eat, please.” The blonde told her with that thick accent, putting the bowl in front of her and sitting next to Y/N, putting some hot sauce on hers.  “That is my favorite.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Y/N sniffled.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you okay, Y/N/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm just worried about her.” Y/N swallowed and wiped the tears from her eyes. “She's taking a rocky path to come back from.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Yelena sighed and took her hand, trying to support her in this. They had spent years side by side, trying to get over the loss and the pain. “You know it could have been me, If it weren't for you, I would be with her.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“But you didn’t.” ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

"I decided to go back, she decided to stay."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt hurt by Jules, but above all, she felt her absence. Y/N understood her more than anyone, but it hurts. “I feel like I have failed her.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“She lost everything, Y/N/N.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“But not us.” Y/N cleared her throat, eating some mac and cheese.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Touché. That was true.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“And we'll let her know she won't lose us when she decides to come back.” The widow sighed, changing the subject to a less sad and more interesting one. For example: what was it like to receive e-mails from a raccoon?

ㅤㅤPart II is going to be the finale...

So you sure want to kill me. But I'll tell you: don't do it, you need to know how it ends, right? This is not the same as the movies, so... pretty much wild. Thank you for reading me and for waiting for me with this story, it means a lot that you have come this far. 🌼🐻

here goes some amazing and lovely people tags   ✨  : @wandsmxmff​,  lonewalker17,  tsmeanobody,  dark-hunter16,  lattayhottay16,  natashaswifeu,  silverockmusic,  kacka84,  emeraldevan! @sunsol-22 @dparker0 Thank you for reading me and leaving your beautiful and quite empowering comments!