#and here i was feeling bad bc i accidentally ignored him when he asked me to sit with him

[no-one-hears-me]

felt bad for rejecting a friend of a friend i met a couple weeks ago. sike! hes had a gf 🥰🥰🥰

[rainbow-nerdss]

AITA for accidentally traumatising a 13 year old kid by pretending to be his dead mom?

So basically a couple of weeks back i (33F) was at work and I noticed this guy (30sM) staring at me. Now, this isn’t totally unheard of, I'm kind of used to it because I've done some acting in the past and sometimes people sort of stare while they try to figure out where they know me from. Usually I ignore it, but this guy was like crazy hot so I figured, fuck it, I’ll go talk to him, maybe make a sale out of it. We sort of talked a bit while I served him, and found out he’s a single dad. He had sort of sad vibes and I was kind of into it so when he asked me out I said sure, why not and we agreed to go for dinner.

So everything was going well for a while, we went on a few dates but mostly we facetimed bc he works 24 hour long shifts and scheduling dates around that and a kid is tough, which i totally understood and I was happy to be patient with him.  I should also say we still haven’t kissed at this point, even when he took me out on a boat on a lake, which was probably in my top 5 dates of all time? Anyway, I got the vibe he was holding back a bit but I figured I could wait bc he seemed like he was working through some stuff and dating in LA is fucking hard. 

What happened next was where the real shit started to hit the fan, though.

Basically, I decided to bring him some brownies at work, but I mistimed it and he’d already gone home so I gave them to his coworker who looked at me like I was a ghost or something. I should have recognised something was off then but I brush it off and the next day I get a call from the guy, and he asks me to come over to his place which hasn’t happened before. I figure this is a good sign, that maybe he’s ready to start moving things forward, but when I get to the house, there’s all these pictures on the coffee table and they all look EXACTLY like me. My first thought was: holy shit, this guy’s a stalker. Great. Then I looked closer, though, and the pictures weren’t even of me. Turns out, I look exactly like this guy’s dead wife???

Anyway, that was wild and obviously I left after hearing him out a little bc I just needed to wrap my head around it.

Now this next bit might be where i’m the AH, bc i haven’t had a chance to do any acting in a while and I genuinely felt bad for the guy, he just wanted a chance at closure with his wife and I couldn’t really fault him for that. 

So long story short, I cut my bangs (they looked cute in the pictures of his wife so I figured they’d work on me) and I went to his house in character as his wife and encouraged him to say what he needed to say to her. Things got pretty heated and he shared some really intimate thoughts and feelings so I was getting into it, you know? We embraced and I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I thought it really helped him until the door opened and in walks his kid with a woman who is apparently his girlfriend? So i guess the single part of “single dad” wasn’t totally accurate either.

Also, the kid called me mom, which kind of broke my heart, and I feel like maybe I might have fucked up somewhere here.

So reddit, I have to ask AITA for pretending to be a dead woman and accidentally being the other woman while simultaneously traumatising a thirteen year old kid?

[disneyprincemuke]

in another life * fem!driver au

"if not in this universe, do you think we're at least together in another?" "there has to be at least one where we're happy."

i HAVE SUCCUMBEDDD TO THE VOICEESSSSSS THE VOICESSSSSSS AHHHHHH

and my demons bc here we are :/

this is more smaus and shorter blurbs just because i don't wanna get too attached to logan and my literal fictional character being together huhuhuhu

could've been -> in which logan decided to make a move on her after her confession instead of ignoring his feelings and eventually getting over it

everything at 18, but nothing at 22 -> in which the drastic difference in their performance in their career seems to finally be catching up to them

they ask, “do you have a man?” -> in which everyone is curious why the grid princess is still single despite instagram posts from them seem to be giving out another narrative

is it just platonic? -> in which she and logan can’t help but flirt with each other in public, but it’s always disregarded as them being mega best friends

everybody talks too much -> in which he accidentally slips up during an interview and calls her his ‘girlfriend’ sending everyone into a frenzy

in the late night, in a disguise -> in which logan has to dress entirely differently to run some late-night errands with her in the uk

the grid princess x everyone -> in which everyone seems to ship her with everyone but her actual secret boyfriend

kiss all your tears away -> in which she and logan don't walk into the paddocks together for the first time all season and sends everyone speculating about the status of their relationship friendship

is it killing you like it's killing me? -> in which she and logan try to navigate the worst part about dating your literal coworker

tis the season for mistletoasters -> in which they invite a select few of their friends over for the holidays and a particular holiday decoration catches them off guard

there doesn't seem to be anyone around -> in which they're simply not discreet enough about sneaking around in the paddocks

the summer seemed to last forever -> in which they didn't want summer break to end because that meant having to sneak around again

baby, it's cold outside -> in which she always get seasonal depression at the same time of the year and he tries to make her feel better about it

i don't want you like a best friend -> in which their trip to the bahamas two years ago suddenly becomes a push and pull game that neither of them knew the rules to

the kind of book you can't put down -> in which the thought of settling down and being with her scares him more than anything in the world, but he can’t seem to steer away from the thought of ‘them’

you make everyday feel like it's christmas -> in which logan surprises her in the morning with a throughtful second present

in sickness and in health -> in which she's down with the flu and while she's locked herself away to contain the virus, her boyfriend simply refuses to stay away for too long

bad sushi and bad stomachs -> in which she completely overanalyses the situation when she wakes up puking from bad sushi, forcing her to have a conversation about potentially having kids

it's when we're in a crowded room -> in which they’ve got their own little ways to communicate their feelings for one another while they’re under watch of the crowd that’s not supposed to know of their relationship

god bless america -> in which it's everyone's favourite american's birthday and they can't help but take the piss out of him

i'm a monster on the hill -> in which insecurities suddenly strike up when she sees her boyfriend parading with williams’ star guest for the race weekend

[valentinelocks]

If Peter + Jason, Dick and Tim went out on a boys trip

To Japan. As detailed through timestamps:

5pm - pregame

Tim has been day drinking at previous event and comes to the pregame mildly tipsy

On the contrary Jason forgot to skip his meds that evening (for the first time?!!) and is consequently suffering stone sober

(He’s tried to leave three times already and plans to perform an Irish goodbye)

Dick is a little tipsy but he’s saving it for the main event

Peter has accidentally had too many Shirley temples (unaware that they weren’t clean) and upon discovering so, has begun adamantly repeating that he’s ’not even drunk yet’. This will only worsen with time.

6pm - The drive

Tim ordered the Uber - he sent a venmo request to Jason and to no one else

“You scamming little freak that ride was not $60.”

“Oh yeah I added $40. For GST.”

“That’s not how GST works! You kno-YOU KNOW THIS! How the HELL are you running a conglomerate-“

Peter “I will listen to just about anything”Parker was on aux earlier but got muted when his megaplaylist wouldn’t stop playing brown noise

“why don’t you sort this shit by vibe? why is there a Rihanna song next to minecraft ambience? What is going on -?you know what- stop. GIVE IT HERE-”

Dick has been suspiciously quiet throughout the ride and it’s because he’s wearing earplugs. He and Peter have been sharing a packet of trail mix through the gap between the front and back seat since the trip began.

6:30 - Dessert stop

The first bar they go to is super dead so they ditch without buying a round (Peter grabs a sparkling water bc he feels bad 💔)

They stop at a dessert spot across the street that Tim insists they visit

Jason ditches halfway to go god knows where because the line is LONG

Dick starts chatting up the people in front of them to pass time (social anxiety fears him)

They end up getting invited to a street festival which they spontaneously decide to go to.

But then they’re walking and guess who they find near the Sanrio pop up entrance with bags fucking galore

And Jason refuses to elaborate aside from claiming “it’s a write off” but??

“you don’t even pay taxes??”

7:45

They’re in the centre of the street stalls line up and everyone has split off to explore the stall on their own

8:00

Tim is FaceTiming Steph obnoxiously loudly by the trinket stalls

Dick is taking selfies with his sakura shaped ice treat, ignoring the small gaggle of girls gearing up to approach him (he’s been asked about the club he Hosts at…three times already)

9:50

Overstimulated, Jason went into an alley for a mandatory shut up and smoke break.

Peter’s joined him but those spiked jelly shots from earlier are WORKING and the jet lag is making him sleepy so he’s crouching

But now they lowkey look like shady criminals from afar

Local authorities have circled the area twice to check on the gangsters in the shadows practically scaring the hoes

They end up having to go home early bc if it

——

This was just a silly idea that came to me while working on my Peter in Gotham fanfic so hope yall enjoyed :)

[ventismacchiato]

THE SCRMN LORE DUMP WAS SO GOOD now listen kai gave us the general headcanons..... I'll take one for the team and ask how they both were like in bed and if mona was scara's first time idk (i can't believe my life has come to this, asking about fictional characters love lives like a gossip monger)

also also for the angst hcs I think about that one anon's hc like how scara would die a little when yn purposefully ignores him and pretends whatever they had wasn't real, and I wanted to know exactly what might make yn ignore him in the future so I'm thinking that it's probably BC of ei (SHES SUCH A BITCH IN THIS AU AT LEAST JPTP EI WAS CIVIL) and how she might've told scara to give up his relationship with yn to be more successful and probably try to set him up with mona idk but ofc scara doesn't like her

or or scara just distances himself from them bc again, he doesn't think yn deserves them but he can't stand seeing them not in his arms (fake idgafer) so i just see him constantly trying to make contact with yn but yn can surprisingly be cold so they shut him out (kinda like btl scara!! i like how swy accidentally or purposefully parallels scarayn fr)

I'm so excited for the jealousy arc I dont even care who gets jealous I just love when characters (scara) want that cookie (us) so bad but feels as though they don't deserve them so they're forced to seethe and yearn in silence (Scaramouche is a yearner i mean you mentioned it in the prev asks how he bleeds out his feelings to songs instead of verbally expressing them that's like peak yearnism ugh i love him so much)

-🌅 anon !!

PS do you have any general hcs for the other delusion & windblume ......... kazuxiao.... kazuxiao crumbs........ very cottagecore coded i can see them being the designated therapists of the groups aside from the twins

gossip monger is taking me OUT 😭 i love when you guys ask me for head canons cus sometimes it’s things i’ve thought about and other times it’s like matter a fact what WOULD scaras tip color be 🤔

i’m gonna say scara was mona’s first time! so he was probably also gentle with her at first. it can also be the other way around (as in mona was his first) BUT! lowk i headcanon scara being a whore amongst the other trainees (like excluding windblume and delusion group) and he probably just lost his v card to some random other trainee under sakura? like do we fuck with that LMAO

like to get rid of the tension of his growing rivalry with you and his mother he probably fucked around with trainees 😭 i think that’s kinda hot lmfao walk with me here experienced scara. i feel like when he’s 18 he’s the type to just wanna get it over with and picks a random trainee HELP

i’m not gonna spoil anything HAHA but come back once i do give out the reason for why yn ignores scara LMFAOO (cus spoiler it will happen 😝) and omg ur so right it is kinda parallel btl

SCARAMOUCHE YEARNER ARC YOU GET IT he wud be standing in the corner seething silently and then write a diss track

I DO!!! i have a kazuxiao headcanon that will be in the next chapter interview i think? so if u want a spoiler rq it’s that kazuha and xiao have been dating this whole time in secret

so with that in mind i hc kazuha asked xiao out first, maybe after kazuha debuted and xiao was still a trainee so they were able to get away with secret dates. and during their trainee days they’d go “train together” but it was just an excuse to be alone. i can also see kazuha being the therapist of delusion cus he’s calm and even calmer when he’s high. he gives me the mom of the group vibes. i also hc the twins are therapists but they probably spill SO much tea to each other

also kazuha tells xiao EVERYTHING going on with delusion which is why he’s so gossipy when windblume is gossiping and has all the tea. i hc lumine will give tea about yn and aether will give tea about scara and they’ll try to set them up whenever they can (never works)

a few years into their careers it gets a little harder to hide their relationship and see each other so xiao will always say he’s buying weed from kazuha just to go on dates. they never intended it to be a secret but they also just assumed everyone could tell (they couldn’t, both of them don’t like pda) so it became a running joke to see how long they could hide it (so far two years, i hc kazuha asked xiao to be his bf after two years of subtle flirting) xiao is that one meme of wait were u flirting with me? and kazuhas like i have been for the past two years but ty for noticing

[la-rougo]

*SFW*-

Beelzebub x Chaotic Diety! GN Reader

I need to see how my boy will handle with this one

A/n: I am in LOVE with him, (bc he shares the same name w my big orange demon himbo main— and shares the same va with anasui!!!!) and fear not my friends, this is pure-

-FLUFF (maybe angst but mainly fluff idk)

You’re not really a new diety, more like you’re new to him

When he first met you he just ignores you

But with your silliness and no self awareness, you follow him and tries to be ‘friends’ with him

He didn’t care so he just let you be, when you ask him anything he just answers bluntly or ignores you

But you couldn’t stop leaving him alone, not only that but you also cause troubles around him (but not to him)

He started to feel annoyed but once he completely gives you full attention, he feels warmer

Even how much stupid stuffs you have done (including accidentally ruins his experiment which he almost kills you for that) he couldn’t help but likes your company

He starts to talk to you a little bit more everyday which already makes you head over heels

He feels admired by you and it makes him feels strange, he isn’t supposed to feel any kind of affection. At least that’s what he always thought

Of course you take notice about his oddly behavior so you question him about it

He panicked slightly when he realized that his weird feelings are starting to become obvious, so he starts to avoid from you as much as possible

It’s absolutely impossible for him to run away from you since you’re his biggest fan ig/hj

He knows the consequences if he doesn’t stop his feelings, but it’s hard for him. He can barely do anything without having you around him

You decided to maybe give him a little space, or hang out with him less. Once everything is settled, you asked him a question

“Why are you keep running away from me? Did i do anything wrong?”

You asked him and he stopped mid way through his walk

Beelzebub sighed, he turned slightly at you with the same empty expression

“Here’s a better question. Why do you keep following me?”

You gulped, it feels slightly suffocating, his question makes you turn your head away from him slightly. You’re not prepared for this question, not at all. You never really thought that he would ask this and just let you follow him but here they are.

“Because I like you?”

He look at you with a *pardon?* kind of face, you turn away completely. You’re sweating like hell

“What?”

“What?”

He sighs again, turning to walk away from you

“Wait- aren’t you going to answer me? Boi! Don’t turn your back on me!!”

You catch up on him with a little pout

“Now that you got your answer, it’s my question for you to answer now”

Beelzebub rolls his eyes and fastened his walk

“Nope”

And he’s running

“Beeellll!!!!!!”

Andddd you’re chasing him, you quickly catch up to him again and grab his arm gently

“Cmon, the question is not that hard to answer ya pussycat!”

“Will you just shut up”

“I will if you answer my question emo boy”

He sighs defeat, he doesn’t even want to talk to you about the harm that’s coming to you, he feels bad, he feels sick inside, he feels scared.

“I don’t want to hurt you”

You tilted your head slightly

“What?”

Then, beelzebub became curious. Can you help him out of his hellhole? he wonders if you might be the one

“Never mind, just ignore whatever had happened earlier”

You look at him with a very confused face, but shrugs it off when beelzebub continues his walk again

The more time has pass, more affection you give him. With also, the more his feelings had grown

He feels bad deeply, he knows one day he— no, satan will kill you if he can’t stop himself so he have to stay away from you as much as he can, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so

If you actually manage to survive or break satan’s curse though

My boy ain’t gonna hold back☹️

Saying beel is shocked is an understatement, bro is absolutely flabbergasted

You somehow managed to break his satan curse and he’s shitting tears fr

After that, he didn’t immediately shows affection. He just take his time to understand affections and loves more clearly after being free, but of course you help him with that

“Now that I’m free…”

Beelzebub place his hands on both sides of your shoulders to stare at you… intensely

“Uh… beel?” It’s kinda awkward and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him so you just look away

“I hate how you make me feel”

You looked back at him and make a confused face

“What do you mean?”

Bros kinda frustrated ngl but he takes a deep breath and thinks abt what to say

“I… how do i say this. Hm… I uhh

— I love you”

Beel is dying inside how he managed to actually said that

“I love everything about you, i love how you make me feel loved, i love how you make me feel happy. Even if you never listen to me but that’s what i also love about you”

And he continues so on, you on the other hand is dying by his words. I absolutely think that beelzebub is not good with words but he’s trying

“I love you too beelz..”

You’re on the verge of crying out tears of happiness, after you two confessed beel hugs you tightly and you felt him crying in your shoulder

“Are you crying?”

“No.”

Beelzebub feel like the happiest man ngl, he finally got to love freely like other people do. Nothing can describe how happy he is

He doesn’t change much after the curse broke but he smiles a lot more when he’s with you and become slightly clingy

Once beel is used to being free he’ll just bomb you with affections, mainly actions cause we found lovely dovely words to be awkward for him

Of course you wouldn’t mind that, he’ll thought endlessly that he doesn’t deserve you but you shut him up

“You’re too kind… I don’t deserve you to have as a lover, I can’t have you… you deserve someone else better than me”

Beel said while burying his face in your shoulder from behind

“Oh shut up! You’re the best lover I could ever ask for, I love you with my whole heart and I won’t stop loving you even after death. So stop thinking like that and enjoy every moment of us, of course without thinking about that”

Beel lift his head up to stare at you with a deep sigh, you turn slightly to him and peck his cheeks. Beel can’t help but feel the corner of his lips lifted

He overthinks a lot even after his curse had disappeared, but you kept comforting him saying that there’s nothing to worry about and he should relax more, he used to think that he has fallen into the pit of despair, with nothing to lift him up. But once he’s with you, he feels the opposite of what he used to feel, he feels like he’s the happiest man ever

He loves you dearly and so do you

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

hiii I'm wondering, what issues do you have with Countdown, if you don't mind me asking?

Ooh i dont mind at all! I love talking! And potentially hearing more perspectives

Pleasee note that ive been reading all the Jason comics in order of release (started at flying todds jaybin currently at rhato), I've only read countdown once, my memory issues are a bitch, and everything is subject to change for forever 👍

I'm like, basing this whole ramble off my memory of events, and no rereading means no potential updating of feelings on it

To start on positives, I love many concepts and characters it brings to the table and all the different earths traveling they do, I think Donna, Jason, and Kyle are a fun trio as well, and their adventures are delightful. The different earths are all very interesting and i dearly wish we got to have more focus on them. I may not like it being so long but ehhh I've considered rereading it on occasion. The issues counting down are also a fun gimmick as well.

One of my problems is the like. Main story. It feels pretty messy just to like, read though. The extra issues onto the main 52 don't help. Not being familiar with that many dc characters in general doesn't help (was more of a marvel kid). Don't really remember how many character stories we were following in there anymore, it just felt like alot and I genuinely can't remember where half of them led

I ALSO. Skimmed it a bit. Especially later. That's on me. But to be fair to me it's 50 issues and I just don't think I'm big on long comic stories like that. in general. So it was always doomed to fail in the test of my personal opinion

(My favorite crossover comic so far has been legends, just to hammer that above point in)

I dont like the ending where they all hang out in a bunker on the good earth and the virus they have is spreading to just. kill that entire world. And they just go home after that. That's like, that felt weird. I'm just not big on heros accidentally slowly killing an entire universe. That just like. Hhhhng. Um. You know when the stakes get so big and bad they just kinda suck? If that's what I mean??

While I do like looking into Superboy Prime and Jason's resurrection. Don't like his dialogue here. Don't know if that's normal for him or not though

I felt a teensy bit validated when I looked it up after reading and saw many others not liking it I fear

But ignoring at all that. (Because while important to acknowledge when talking about my problems with it, most of what I just had to say is unfair to it)

My knowledge is on Jason. Let's focus on Jason

Jason just kinda. Sucks? He sucks in this. Do not get me wrong Jason is absolutely allowed to be an asshole, I won't ignore those edges. But he was more like,,, a generic asshole? He didn't feel like Jason to me, just more like, a template character or something. There are fun interactions and moments he has but just. Bwah. And it feels like a very strange turn too because for the first few issues I was actually really enjoying the Jason here. I'm not sure what happened

(Fun fact this is the first comic I felt showed Jason as angry. Actual "wow that guy is angry". the angry i was expecting when i started reading him. It was when Dick and Tim interrogated him, I actually think about this moment alot in some of my vague rambling thoughts on Jason, his anger, and how the controlled narrative after his death effects how people expect him to react and thus treat him. Its neat. I thought his interaction with Jimmy was fun and it's a neat contrast bc Jimmy and Dick n Tim were asking the same questions. I enjoyed the early issues of countdown alot, which I think made it have a harder fall for me)

But back to the bad. He's also. Consistently looking down on female heros? Excluding Donna but like. I can't remember it all exactly. but I do remember, that I felt very very very nervous when they said they were going to the genderswap dimension next (he didn't say anything here tho, actually)

Jason also just sorta,, very consistently gets beat up and knocked down? Felt very 'wow look at this guy he sucks don't you think he sucks. Do you want to see him get beat up constantly and not win any fight.' And there's no payoff to this at all. Nothing changes, nothing gets better, he immediately throws the red robin costume in the trash and we never talk about any of this ever again. He's just sorta an asshole punching bag the whole time and it's not something I enjoy. He gets into fights and gets put down and no one likes him. He doesn't even get to have fun while he's here, iirc he's basically just miserable and trying to get this over with the whole time. Kinda distantly wanted him to not leave the victorian era gotham, just a little bit, just a tad, to be real

And there's just a bit of whiplash to his whole character. We go from silly and carefully planning and competent to. Gestures vaguely. There is NO DOUBT very fun analysis about Jason you could do with this and the whiplash. But its not something I personally want to do with countdown

[bonnielunkas]

Are you still doing that ask game? 👉👈 If you are, can you do 11, 13, 32 for uhhh whoever you want and 28 for honeymoon? (Melody and Baylee) b. because I miss them....... If not just ignore this LMAO

11!! - whatever talking abt my insane pierre headcanons i have nowhere else to put these atm and I Like Pierre :D uhhh obviously!! surfing is a big hobby for him. i think pierre is also big into video games. more specifically stuff that gets you active tho. guy is the biggest fucking menace when it comes to wii sports ( i think he would accidentally launch a wii remote into a tv ) AND he likes partying!! party animal to me <33 he throws the most INSANE house parties man. he loves the ocean ( again kinda an obvious one ) and kinda has a passing interest in marine biology but it's moreso just him knowing bit and pieces here and there about certain species over him KNOWING things. idk i just think he's neat :]

13!! - struggling to pick someone for this one uhhhh. whoops - -'

32!! - with andy bc i think it's interesting to talk abt his less positive sides. TOXIC POSITIVITY ANDY FTW i think they try SO FUCKING HARD to keep a smile no matter WHAT even when it's!! absolutely detrimental to!! and he doesn't get like. MEAN about it but he's sometimes stubborn as HELL something that he shares in common with thomas lol and can't be persuaded easily when he's being like that. and like also!! very bad!! at taking care of himself sometimes!! it was worse when they were younger and there were less people in the farm but even now andy sometimes struggles to take care of themself.

28!! - AT FIRST MELODY IS SO AWKWARD AROUND BAYLEE LMAOOOO... i think it's really obvious she's got a crush on baylee and baylee like, KNOWS right. it's like SO obvious but she's still like nice to them and patient cuz yk. ummm i think when melody and baylee get closer they absolutely start doing EVERYTHING together. like they'll stay up late on phonecalls just talking about whatever, and they LOVE going out to like concerts and stuff. they interact a LOT after melody decides to be a bit more forward with her feelings and it's always so clear how much they just like. adore each other right. i think melody's kinda a thrillseeker and it's 100% bc of baylee, baylee gets her out of her shell!! and like they mess up sometimes, right?? they're not perfect but like they're both young and they can come back from it stronger.

[can-i-get-a-yippee]

I like to think of Shannon lives AUs bc she deserved better and I think it could’ve had some great storylines that paralleled/contrasted to Athena and Michael’s divorce storyline.

Like, imagine her and Eddie divorcing and her finding a new partner.

Because Shannon and Eddie loved each other but they were both too passionate, too hot tempered, too stubborn—too alike.

They burned bright together, but they also burned hot. It’s not a sustainable relationship, especially when Chris is involved.

So they divorce, and they co-parent, and it’s fine. It’s not ideal, not by a long shot, but it’s fine — good even. Shannon gets an apartment 20 minutes from Eddie, and a temp job at some finance firm downtown. Eddie still has Chris most of the time, but Shannon negotiated him up to her getting Chris while he works shifts and every second weekend of the month with Carla helping fill in some gaps. He doesn’t love being separated from his son, but he would be lying if he said it isn’t nice to do adult activities with Buck and his 118 coworkers on the weekends Shannon has custody. (Though Buck gripes that he misses getting to see Christopher every weekend, and Eddie can’t help but agree) He and Shannon still argue, bicker, about everything from pick-up schedules to parent teacher conferences. After all, being divorced doesn’t fix their communication issues, but Chris seems happy, and they’re leagues better than when they were married.

Until Shannon announces she met someone.

Well, met isn’t the most accurate word because when she tells Eddie on the front steps of his house after her weekend with Chris, she admits they’ve been seeing each other for almost 4 months.

His name is Jack. He’s a salary man— a financial analyst at some firm that Eddie doesn’t care to remember the name of— and Shannon accidentally spilled a cup of coffee on him when she ran into him at the coffee shop beside her office. He was kind and gracious and offered to buy her a new cup, despite it not being his error. She hadn’t wanted it to happen, hadn’t been looking for it, but something between them had just clicked. It’s going on 4 months and she wants to introduce Chris to him soon, but only if Eddie approves.

She and Eddie might be divorced, but she is determined to make this co-parent thing work, and if he says no, she’ll respect his decision and not bring it up again.

And Eddie, he wants to be angry. He can feel the venom boiling in his throat before she even finishes her sentence. She had divorced him. She had said that she wanted to focus on being a mother and not a wife. He wanted to make it work, and she had given up. Now, barely a year later, she’s asking him to introduce their son to her new boyfriend?

It’s an ugly and unfair feeling that he swallows down when he strains out, “Let me think about it.”

And he tries to ignore the hole in his chest when Shannon gives an apology as her goodbye.

He complains the next day to his coworkers with a mixed response. Bobby tries to offer insight based on his relationship with Athena’s kids and Michael, and Hen and Chimney chime in with their own opinions and personal anecdotes. However, it’s when he’s complaining to Buck in the locker room that he feels his stomach twist

“I just didn’t expect her to move on that fast,” Eddie repeats the sentiment that he had been repeating all shift as he slams the locker door. “We’ve barely been divorced for a year, and she’s already wanting to introduce this guy to our kid? Everything online says to wait at least 6 months, but she’s over here doing it at four months. And she wants me to agree to it, says she won’t introduce him if I’m not ready, making me look like the bad guy if I say no.”

He huffs and turns to look at Buck who has been attentively listening from the bench.

“Eddie,” Buck says it slowly. He’s giving Eddie that earnest, doe-eyed look that he gives when he’s about to say something that he knows Eddie doesn’t like. “Not that I don’t agree with you about Chris here because four months does seem a little early, but it doesn’t feel like that’s what you’re mad at her for.”

Eddie turns away then, unwilling to hold Buck’s stare any longer. The truth is stuck in his throat, and Buck has a way of making it spill out of him.

Because the truth is, Buck is right. He’s irritated about how early in the relationship Shannon wants to introduce their kid to this new guy, but he’s angry that she’s making things change, that she’s moving on from them.

Sure, their relationship wasn’t the best. They had been forced to speed their relationship up from its natural progression when Shannon got pregnant. He’s not even sure if they would’ve lasted the year had it not happened, but then it did and then they were married and then there was army and the fighting and the leaving.

But despite everything, they had always been tied to one another.

And now, she was moving on, building a new life, and Eddie was stuck in place, mourning a life that he never had in the first place.

And what if she wants everything to change? What if she wants to get actually serious with this guy? What if she wants to take Chris more than just every second weekend and try to build a family with him without at all the baggage Eddie had brought? What if this other guy comes in marries his (ex)wife and tries to take his kid and shatters the house of cards Eddie had assembled here?

God, his parents already tried to take Chris. If Shannon tries, he’ll —

“Hey, Eddie, you okay, man?” Buck had stood up and moved beside him. He’s look at him with that stupidly earnest and open expression on his face, and his hand stutters at his side, like it wants to reach out and touch him (and a part of Eddie wishes it would). “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just— you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Eddie scrubs a hand over his face. “It’s just— Shannon, we’re just getting a handle on the divorce co-parent thing, and we’re getting okay at it, and now she wants to change everything. We’re finally at a semi stable place, and now she wants to throw a wrench in it because of some guy she just met.”

Buck is quiet for a moment before he questions carefully, “Did you …expect that she would never date again?”

“No!” The response comes too quickly, and then he sighs. “Yes… I don’t know. I just thought we were at a good place, and doing this coparenting thing right, and now she wants to add this new guy into the equation. She wants it to change. “

The ‘I don’t want it to change’ goes unspoken.

Because things are going good right now.

Eddie loves his job. He loves his team.

He and Buck spend almost every moment outside of work together, grabbing beers when Chris is away and going to the zoo when he’s not. Dinners at Bobby and Athena’s are common and so are play dates at Hen and Karen’s. Chris loves Denny and Harry, and Eddie loves that he has a support system here.

Chris is the happiest Eddie’s ever seen him. He’s getting good grades and making friends. His teachers gush about how happy he is— telling Eddie about all Chris’ stories about what he does when he visits his mom or the weekend adventures with Buck. He’s thriving for a kid whose parents just got divorced.

And Eddie’s communication is the best it’s ever been with Shannon. When you take the sex and the relationship baggage, they make a good co-parenting team. Not perfect, not by any means, but they both love their son and centering him seems to have made them more agreeable.

If his life could stay like this, he wouldn’t complain. He doesn’t need anything else, anyone else. He’s happy.

And Shannon wants to mess that all up by starting a relationship that she made clear she didn’t want with Eddie.

“Hey, no matter what happens with Shannon, you know you’re the best father Chris could ask for. Shannon dating this new guy, it doesn’t take that away,” Buck says it with a grin and knocks their shoulders together. “And it’s not like you’re alone in this. Everyone here has your back. I’ve got your back.”

And Eddie— Eddie can’t help but grin at that as he knocks his shoulder back against Buck’s. “Does that mean you’re still down for dinner tonight? I told Chris we could order pizza since we’re getting home late.”

“Only if I get to pick the place,” Buck responds easily as he slings his bag over his shoulder. “The last plan you ordered from skimped on the cheese.”

It’s hard not to think, as they walk out chatting about weekend plans and Chris’ science project, that maybe there’s one thing he wouldn’t mind staying the same forever.

[stabknives]

When Monroe met Redd,

TWs: murder, stalking, body mutilation.

He hires Redd in a panic after accidentally killing a young man. See, Monroe has been stalking an aspiring lady actress named Farrah. Her abusive boyfriend gets too handsy with her, and Monroe confronts the man. It turns heated, and after a few sneered insults to Monroe and Farrah, Monroe kills the guy. Idk. We'll call him Jimmy.

Monroe panics. Because he always panics after he does this. Stupid, stupid. Not again! He drags the body back to his place and dices it up. Puts the parts in the freezer and drives off to look for an alibi. He passes by a strip joint, nearly crashes his car through the front door, and rushes in.

Charlie works there. Sees a kid floundering near the front, trying to hire a dozen or so workers. He doesn't care what they do. Dance on the pole or spit in his face. Whoever you have available. Please. Please? He's got money. He's got a lot of money.

Monroe has a look about him. I don't think it's entirely racism, especially since they're in a big city, and most folks are more Liberal there usually. I think it's more like. The scars on his hands and throat and arms and his dark eyes that don't reflect any light 👍 he's intimidating. Despite being kind of a weenie.

Redd says hey I'll take him. Let me have him, he seems funny. She takes Monroe out of the club, because she was about to get off work. They get up to some grade A tomfoolery. Monroe seems pent up, after all. So Redd takes him to a bar, to a late night rave, a 24 hour Build-A-Bear. All kinds of places, since Monroe insisted they stay in public. Which is the opposite of Redd's usual clientele but some people are into public stuff. Redd isn't judging.

A bit before the sun starts to rise, Monroe is positively hammered. He's not a big drinker (HE CAN'T EVEN BUY HIS OWN BOOZE!!!) and he had too much. Redd ignores his mumbled pleas to leave him on a park bench and checks his wallet for an address. She steals a few twenties bc. Well. She does that sort of thing, but she pays a cab to take them both to Monroe's apartment.

It's not the worst place Redd has ever been to, but it's certainly not high end. Which is odd, because Monroe had a shit load of money in his wallet. But whatever. They go inside, and Redd helps him flop down on the couch.

Then she goes to the fridge.

She just wanted to grab a bottle of water, and leave him a seltzer tablet. There's a body in there, though. She sees it. Acknowledges it for maybe half a second before she's pushing aside a severed arm to grab a Dasani.

Redd literally only screams when she turns around and Monroe is hovering in the kitchen doorway, about two feet away. HOW are you so quiet. Go back and lie down.

Monroe asks in a cold sweat of Redd saw. Redd says yes you have a rather impressive collection of flavored waters... Oh and there's a body in there. Anyway. Here's a bottle and a few tablets. Have a good night, man.

Monroe says WAIT WAIT WAIT! DON'T TELL. PLEASE DON'T TELL. Monroe... Doesn't wanna kill this funny red lady, but Monroe remembers that his mother always taught him not to leave a mess behind. He doesn't want to go to jail, he can't. He's got family back home.

Redd asks why the body is in there at all. Did Monroe just get hungry or... (Monroe is perplexed by that suggestion.) Monroe explains. Rather, he over explains. Redd takes a seat at the kitchen table, and Monroe does the same.

At the end of it all, Redd pats Monroe on the shoulder. You're a nice young man. Chivalrous. That's rare these days. Don't feel so bad. People die all the time. Better this guy did before Farrah.

Redd suggests they dump the body parts before the sun rises. They've still got another hour. If they hurry, they can make it to the river. Monroe is flabbergasted, but hastily goes along with it, because. Redd has a big personality, and Monroe is a better follower thn a leader.

They dispose of poor Jimmy. Redd stands on her tiptoes and ruffles Monroe's hair. Tells him to stay out of trouble. Says if anybody spills the beans about this it won't be Redd, but you know where she works, right Manny? You can pay her a visit if she tattles. Hahaha!

Monroe does visit after that. But not to kill Redd for snitching. He's utterly smitten. Stalks Redd, now. Takes pictures through the window and leaves flowers and little cassette tapes with romantic music. He's never had someone help him out like that before outside of his family, and he's certainly never had anyone tell him he's chivalrous!

It is Redd's turn to be puzzled.

[engagemythrusters]

okay here's my fave BDG3 companions, ranked. nobody asked but i was considering my ranking in the shower so I might as well post it.

Gale Listen. He's so fucking useless to me based on how I fight unless I use Shatter, Fireball, Magic Missile, or some form of lightning (not Witchbolt. Fuck you Witchbolt.) BUT HES THE BEST CHARACTER TO ROMANCE. HE IS SO NICE AND LOVING AND SILLY AND DEVOTED AND HE MAKES ME GIGGLE ON BEHALF OF MY TAVS. Ahem. anyway.

Karlach She's funny, she's kind, she's enjoyable... she's just overall cool. Also I love giving her a heavy ass weapon and letting her go to town on gnolls. 100000/10 she's like. the perfect character overall. Gale literally only beats her by a hair. Karlach is perfect <3 I love you Karlach

Astarion I HATE HIM but he's so fucking funny. He's so fucking funny and I LOVE stealing so. Yknow. He's a permanent fixture. Also sometimes I feel bad for him... but only sometimes. Other times I'm ready to hurl him off a cliff and leave him a while before resurrecting him.

Wyll He's genuinely kind. Just like Karlach. And I'm such a fucking sucker for kind people. Also he's the one that I actually consider doing Origin for because I think his plot would be the most interesting to follow in-character. Again beaten only by a hair simply bc Astarion fuels my stealing urges. I'm sorry Wyll <3

Jaheira Idk. I just enjoyed having her on my team. I haven't even played BDG1/2 so it's not even nostalgia. I just like having a druid on my team and I liked how she interacted with my favourite Tav. I hadn't even planned on using her but I used her to recruit Minsc and then I just. didn't wanna swap her back out to... whoever I swapped out in the first place (idk who it was oops) and kept Jaheira the entire rest of the game. honestly contemplating putting her higher on the list but nah i do like the others where they are.

Minsc I'm also a sucker for his type of character, and he can be really fucking funny. I love that about him. It's just that the others have him beat.

Halsin WELL ACTUALLY I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I WOULD ENJOY PLAYING HIM BECAUSE ORIN KEEPS STEALING HIM. EVERY TIME. But I think he's interesting so WHENEVER I GET TO PLAY HIM WILL BE INTERESTING. Fuck you Orin.

Shadowheart Look. I enjoy her. I do. But my fave Tav romanced her my first time and now its just awkward. Tav and I both politely ignore her now. (except this last time. I accidentally killed her? :( sorry bbgorl)

Lae'zel ... she is very useful when most of your party is based in magic. That is all I have to say.

Minthara Only saved her the once. Wasn't interested in playing her.

[markets]

hi markets how is life going for u bc basically the guy who was my best friend for years well we stopped talkign last spring completely bc long story short he was Very in love with me and i could not get myself to feel the same even though i TRIED girl i genuinely tried sohard but that just ended up with him feelinbg led on and hurt and asked to never speak to me again hahalol well yeah he just texted me out of the blue bc he got a leaked frank ocean song and sent it me. because he knows i love frank ocean and knew i wouldg love it and whAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT DOESNT HE REALIZE THAT NOW THIS SONG WILL BE FOREVER ATTACHED TO THE FEELING OF GUILT AND HEARTBREAK AND ILL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT A SONG THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE RELEASED AND WILL ONLY EVER EXIST AS AN ATTACHMENT IN OUR MESSAGES????? anyway yeah. the song wasgood

ANON. anon listen to me because i literally had this exaxt same situation with my (now ex) best friend SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL almost two years ago. i also tried and i also accidentally led on and hurt them and they didnt ask me to never speak to them again and actually jsut ignored me all summer instead and likely got all our shared friends (aka most of my friends lol) to do the same so i just didnt bother trying to reconnect once school started again. im also currently on the other end of this kind of as the best friend who took that old best friends place (though we probably wouldve ended up becoming best friends even without that whole mess i hope) broke up with me after a few very good months of dating and a few very bad ones and i asked him not to speak to me for a while but then decided to reconnect with (which judging by the fact that im active on tumblr could be going better).

so yeah now that ive given you my credentials heres what you do you thank him if you havent already and tell him you hope hes doing well and then you put your phone down and go on a walk far far away from it and think about the whole thing. that isnt the best advice because there realyl is no good advice for this situation its one of those things that tears you apart and then points at you and says haha oh YOURE torn apart you say wow what a selfish asshole haha!! but honestly its so clear to me just from this one ask that you care about him so much and im sure he can see that too. if hes texting you he can at least see it a little, and if you would like to do so im sure your friendship is salvagable. the person who put me as the heartbreak emoji in their "people i had feelings for this year" tik tok last december invited me to their house last month and we laughed and joked even though last time i had been there i had been pretending to feel something i could only wish i truly felt. and i dont think theirs an effort more admirable and beautiful than trying to save something like that, than looking the world straight in the eyes and saying "you want me to leave this for dead but i wont because i CARE and that means something." i mean if he wants too of course. which if he sent the text he might thats kind of how i wnet about it when i tried to reconnect too. maybe take this with a grain of salt because im in a highly emotional time in my life but all im going to say is im sorry anon. i know how awful it is to lose a best friend. and im hoping everything goes well for both of you

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

VERY sorry i sent the other request too early. this is the matchup for the 5’2 asexual trans guy 😭 so sorry please ignore that one i finished it here

hili could i have a demon slayer matchup??

i'm a 5’2, asexual transmale with a pref for men

i'm a little shy with new people but once i'm comfortable i'm really talkative n like to playfully pester all the time n try n make ppl have a fun time n laugh (in my words i'm a shy extrovert)

i get really easily excited at things i like a lot and will get super hyper when excited (i also tend to stay excited for a bit even after the event or situation died down)

i'm really caring and observative, i care a lot for ppl and have a big empathy for ppl (double to people i know), i'm also pretty protective of ppl i care for

i try to see the good in everyone i can, try to be optimistic when things get serious

i'm easy to get frustrated or agitated especially when don't understand things, i also have anxiety that fuels this (i'm scared of ppl being mad or disappointed in me)

despite this i’m actually pretty confident in myself and what i do, how i look, etc

i tend to be overdramatic in an ironic way, i know im being overdramatic i just find it fun

my love languages r gift giving mainly, also quality time and partially physical touch

i'm easily distracted n have super bad procrastination and forgetfulness

(IT’S OKAY DON’T WORRY, I remember one time I accidentally posted I ask before I finished writing it bc I thought it was already saved in my drafts. So don’t worry you’re fine!!)

I match you with..

🔥Kyojuro Rengoku🔥

- He really loves that you try and make people happy and that you’re optimistic, very empathetic and caring. He also likes to make you laugh a lot because your laugh is like music to his ears.

- When you pester him in a playful way majority of the time he will reciprocate.

- Whenever it’s one of those days where you are staying up really late, he’ll have a talk with you about how important sleep is for your mental health.

- He likes seeing you so happy and excited, he doesn’t mind one bit that you get really hyper.

- He tries to find new ways to help you calm down whenever you’re feeling agitated or frustrated. He’s always so patient with you and will always be there to help calm your anxiety.

- He enjoys and cherishes all of your gifts and will make a mental note to reciprocate the kind gesture.

- He holds your hand firmly whenever you two walk together.

- Sometimes you both like to lay in bed and talk to each other about what happened during the day.

Masterlist

[blockedbykei]

Hiii, I hope you’re doing well and if u don’t like this request u don’t have to do it at all. But I just read ALL of ur fics and reallyyyy liked all of them but esp reap what you sow so I wanted to ask you if u could do either a more detailed version like why the reader was w the guys and watching them practice in the first place or like what her role was etc or like a continuation if u don’t mind 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 I’d like the more detailed version better but whatever u want ofc

hi! unfortunately i can't write a detailed fic as of now im so sorry bc i'm in a cab and i wanted to answer this immediately bc i know i'll be busy but here i'll explain!

so the reader was good friends with kageyama, so maybe like childhood friends. and one day he decided to invite her watch him play (and that one day being the first time kageyama was able to practice as a team with karasuno) and that was where she saw kei.

and you realized that this was the guy in your class, the one that sat next to you. so when everyone was taking a water break, you decided to like approach him and ask "hey you're in my class right" and he was like "yes" and you tell him "youre good" and he's like "i know."

and at that point, you've already gone through a lot of bad conversations with him, like when he laughed at your low scores (the backstory) and such, so that encounter kind of like almost reached the peak hatred for you.

anyway then at that same day, you accidentally got hit by a ball and obv everyone came to check up on you buy kei was at the back just tutting and shaking his head and muttering something about "you shouldn't be here" so that's what pissed you off the most

so you only came to practices whenever kageyama invited you. at that point you didn't bother to talk to kei, just ignoring him and laughing at his mistakes during practice to, yknow, give him a taste of his own medicine.

so that scene in the fic was probably the seventh time kageyama has invited you. and you agreed bc like "i can make fun of him again and make him feel small and embarrassed the same way he made me feel" that kind of stuff like u just wanted to get him back

so her role was to watch and support her friend, kageyama (even though there was only one scene of them in the fic lol)

anyway thank you so much for reading all my fics and liking "reap what you sow" the most (bc i also do). i hope you're well! 🧡

[satans-codpiece]

Okay so I proved myself wrong, about me saying I'm dropping everything I'm doing to read your stuff. I found out about Eleven Years Chpt. 5 in the morning and had to go to work RIP. Needless to say I was very distracted and as soon as I got home I got ON IT-

Bit of a shame for my wireplay obsessed ass you didn't go a bit harder on that but GOd it was still hell of a ride. Reader getting handsy after the fucking and Ram not handling it well™ was.... oooooof. I'm so normal-

I guess since I got on the EY hype train, mind if I just, go nuts a little more??? I could be biased here cuz Ramram, but HOW did you actually, genuinely make me feel sad for the captor in a Stockholm syndrome scenario????? HELLO???? What wizardry did you pull to do that??????? Like yeah Ram kidnapped reader and is lowkey torturing them without fully realizing it, but he's so awfully genuine with everything else????????????

And just. Okay slightly late to the party but in chpt. 4, the conversation about Ram being afraid of touch both to not accidentally harm reader AND the reputation of his model is just....... When I read that, my reaction could only be described as going absolutely fucking feral. Bro do not EVER worry about characterization again because jeSUS CHRIST-

I actually ended up showing that set of paragraphs to a friend that isn't in this fandom much (likes a different hero a whole lot and is loosely aware of everyone else, kind of like me actually lol) aaaaand their reaction was pretty much the same as mine-

And to not ignore what you replied with my last anon ask bc lordy I'd feel bad: ... I mean.... if you wanna build up to a big piv scene.... *glosses over your WIP list* I can see Hanakaki going there pretty easily, without all the painful emotional mindfuckery that comes with kidnapping...

LMAO I feel like Blizz employees (the creative art-related team, to be more accurate) are not really allowed to interact with fandom so their ideas don't get influenced by fanon and therefore the company does not get accused of stealing ideas or whatever. BUT, here's a funny idea... since these people write fanfiction that is actually canon... Can you imagine someone writing out their dirtiest fantasies and said writing having to be actually archived at Blizz because intellectual property LOOOOOL-

soBBING THAN K YOU this was such a delight to open my inbox to!!!

hehehe for what it's worth, if I do end up writing the prequel there will be a bigger focus on wireplay (given that it's before he's made any modifications to himself) :3c

but ah I'm so glad you sympathized with Ramattra because that's exactly what I wanted!! He's done something awful- is doing something awful- but he's doing it because he loves you so much. Everything he's done, he's done because he's had a hard life and you were one of so few good things he's had. I really wanted the reader (ie the real people not the stand in character) to have... complicated feelings about this version of Ramattra.

and ;_; thank you... being OOC is truly just my nightmare of writing, I need my blorbos to be perfectly canon-aligned (or explicitly AU'd) or I'll die.

but in particular fjdshg yes! When Ramattra was actually striving for peace, he had to work against such heavy biases against him simply because of his model (both the vendor in Nepal and Nameless make comments on him being an r-7000 as soon as he meets them), so he must be acutely aware that he is treated differently than other omnics.

HAHAHA it's SO funny of all my WIPs you mention hanahaki... because 1) Hanahaki is actually like 4 paragraphs from being done and 2) there isn't a shred of nsfw in it! I wrote it just to write some angsty pre-relationship stuff, but ultimately just is emotional porn, nothing physical.

Ah that's probably to some degree true! I'd love to see someone working w Blizz just. sit on all their nsfw fics and works until they quit and be like. 'haha yeah i JUST made all these. definitely not under contract w Blizz dont worry about it :>' [piles of concept Ramattra porn fall out of their jacket]

[evilkitten3]

#not but seriously if he was spying then. he was really fucking bad at it. like what info did he pass on. no one knew shit about fuck#maybe he really DID pass on info but his communication skills were so bad he accidentally made people know less about the akatsuki

#itachi: btw i was gonna brainwash u. kluvubaiiiiiii#sasuke: welp. not dealing with that anytime soon

#tobi tells them about itachi afterwards and sasuke is the only one who cares#naruto: holy shit#sasuke: my brother...#sakura: damn glad we killed him what a loser#sasuke: sakura. my brother#sakura: YOUR COMRADES COME BEFORE THE GOVERNMENT SASUKE WE KNOW THIS#sasuke: MY BROTHER SAKURA#naruto is too focused on keeping them from killing each other to really think about it#kisame and suigetsu are fighting with swords some more. karin and juugo are watching with popcorn#zetsu is wondering if anyone will notice if he nibbles on itachi's corpse while they argue#they still decide to avenge the uchiha clan tho. sakura is just very vocally doing it for everyone who isn't itachi#naruto thinks she should get over it. like sasuke loves him again so it's fine right#then itachi gets edo tensei'd and naruto immediately tries to kill him again#he stops after itachi brainwashes himself free but only bc it would make sasuke sad#sasuke: we're team taka now. also i love my brother again and miss him and we're killing the government#karin suigetsu and juugo: okie-dokie boss#naruto and sakura: *still firmly members of the itachi hate club*#itachi asks naruto to keep the truth of the massacre hidden and naruto punches him again#then supports sasuke making him a hero out of spite#itachi in the afterlife: this is not what i asked for#the entire uchiha clan: oh gosh we feel soooo bad for you tell us more#(for the record. i love itachi. this will not stop me from dangling him off a cliff by the ankle for dumbass bitch crimes)

#crispin freeman get out of my bedroom

#kinda nuts to me that people try to act like itachi was a good person when even itachi never tried to do that#at no point did itachi go ''and this is why i'm winning the world's best brother award. sasuke are you listening''

#i can tell what she's thinking here...#''man itachi is really bad at getting rid of people. i'm fine kabuto's fine sasuke-kun is doing wonderful...''#''maybe itachi peaked at sixteen''

#dammit itachi people had questions

#orochimaru: i'm in sasuke's body!#sasuke: gross#orochimaru: not sexually. don't worry i'm only sexually attracted to the amount of problems i can cause for other people#sasuke: oh that's fine then#itachi: no the fuck it isn't how dare you put something strange and horrible in my little brother's body#orochimaru: wow you're right it's really fucked up of me to completely ignore his autonomy and expect him to follow my personal agenda#itachi:#orochimaru:#itachi: NIGHTMARE JAIL FOR ONE THOUSAND YEARS!!!!!!!#sasuke: what just happened#itachi: don't worry about it. help me kill myself#sasuke: what#itachi: i said gimme ur eyeballs

#look i may not have been the best big brother. but i'm not itachi#that's something#i love him so much

#itachi: what do u mean sasuke went crazy. how could it have come to this#naruto: you murdered his whole family in front of him. and tortured him. more than once#itachi: oh yeah. but it's ok i have a backup plan. i secretly shoved a crow down your throat to brainwash him with#naruto: hey what the hell is wrong with you#itachi: i make excellent decisions

#i love itachi he's so fucking stupid#love how so many naruto characters are introduced as ''he's.... a GENIUS'' and then we find out they're dumb as shit

#he subjected himself to this. on purpose#itachi: the akatsuki is like my family#tobi: awwww#itachi: in that i one day hope to slaughter you all#tobi: hey bitch i did like 90% of ur job for u

#i mean. yeah#remember that moment when we learned the truth about the uchiha massacre and we were like idk twelve so we thought itachi was awesome#and then we grew up and went ''ohhhhh yeah no he's still a piece of shit he's just also sad''#itachi is so stupid i love him

#itachi has unlocked: self-awareness

i'm so mean to him. and for what

gonna make a compilation of all the times i've bullied itachi for no reason in the tags of my blog. see what i find