#and here i thought *i* would be the hater. every post is either ‘i hate this song’ ‘i love this song f the haters’ ‘i’m indifferent’

[aturnoftheearth]

the lord huron subreddit in shambles over this song lol

[diggity-didge]

Reassigning the Main Six Ninja Weapons Because I Lowkey Hate Them

The more I watch Ninjago, the more I realize one thing: I hate the weapons assigned to the ninja. Like, LOATHE them.

So, to fix that, here's me reassigning the ninja weapons that fit their element/fighting style/overall vibes more!

Before I start, I will acknowledge that: a) Ninjago is meant to sell toy sets. I get it. The weapons were probably chosen off of what stereotypical ninja weapon looks coolest, and b) that being a Lego restricts what can be made (it’s hard to make Lego gauntlets the size of a minifigure. I get it.), and c) I’m insane and really enjoy the different types of premodern combat weapons the world has to offer and they probably thought people over the age of 11 wouldn’t get quite as invested into Ninjago as I would.

Anyways. Me being a hater outweighs all those disclaimers. This post is a little bit of an essay, so I put everything under the cut.

Cole: I'm starting with Cole because he is, by far, the WORST. He's the reason I made this post.

What screams "rocks, dirt, earth and superstrength" more than a scythe? Just about every other option! In the show, Cole barely even uses his scythe, opting to instead throw hands, which makes so much more sense for someone with SUPERSTRENGTH. Scythes are notoriously not actually weapons and are not good at being a viable weapon. They are hard to inflict damage with due to their limited range and shape of the blade, and the blade can be snapped off with enough force (which Cole has in spades). Piercing an enemy is difficult as the point of a scythe is curved and flat and very small, and very far away from the user so accuracy is also difficult. Big sweeping strikes are not optimal as they are easy to block or evade. If he was the elemental ninja of nature or plants or whatever, he'd get a pass for aesthetics because farmers use scythes.

The solution is to lean into Cole’s strength: strength. Give him gauntlets, like Vi from Arcane or Generator Rex. He's a close range brick shithouse, might as well make him even more of one. Other options for the “boxer on steroids” theme include push daggers (small knives designed for in-between the fingers) or, to really push home the "ninja" bit, give him Chinese deer horn knives.

But, gauntlets aren’t the only weapon associated with feats of strength. To keep with the original scythe having a handle, he could also be given a large hammer or axe, like Amy Rose or Hilda from Fire Emblem: 3 Houses. He’s big and strong and needs something that can handle-and dish out- that same power.

Jay: the second worst offender. He, to me, is the opposite of Cole- the unstoppable force to Cole's immovable object. He is based around speed and long range, and NUNCHAKU ARE ONLY ONE OF THOSE THINGS. It's also very difficult to conduct electricity with such a short weapon, when chain lightning is basically thee lightning attack.

Give him a chain whip (metal is a conductor, after all) or a rope dart. Something that can be thrown far and whipped around (WHIP? LIKE HIT SONG AND NINJAGO THEME WEEKEND WHI-). It’s also a very flashy and eye catching weapon that needs quite a bit of movement and precision to use, and I think it suits Jay’s personality well! He’s a very intelligent character and something that needs precision and maybe even calculations would fit him. Rope darts in particular are, well, as quick as lightning. Speed is his greatest ally, and the wide range and high flexibility allotted to him serves to only make his job easier.

Zane: Shuriken aren’t the worst thing, but they also don’t fit Zane. He's a versatile fighter when it comes to range and never uses his shuriken close-up since they’re typically used as throwing weapons and are too small to really be good at defensive maneuvers.

I would give him either a polearm or chakrams- both weapons that can be either short or long range and take skill to master. (Chakrams are circular blades that originate from India and Southeast Asia that can be thrown or used as hand to hand weapons.) I could also see Zane using throwing knives- once again, they are both long- and short-range weapons that a user can have multiple at a time. In fan art, I usually see him drawn with a bow and arrow (I’m only on season five so I don’t know if he does switch to a bow as his go to weapon), but unless he’s Legolas, if an enemy gets close, he’s cooked.

Lloyd: Lloyd suffers from Specialest Character Syndrome, where the Specialest Character gets the most boring weapon because that’s the most easily identifiable one. He has a katana, which, yeah, cool, he’s a ninja…BORING!! I think he should get Jay’s nunchaku. One of the biggest themes around Lloyd is duality. He’s the green ninja, he’s the golden ninja. He’s so young, but also old after being forcefully aged. He’s a human…but half oni. He’s the son of Garmadon, but the protector of Ninjago, etc. Having a double-grip weapon symbolizes that and allows for enough speed and enough brute strength for him to use effectively. And it’s very ninja.

Kai: Specialest Character Syndrome #2. He’s the Main Guy, and as the Main Guy of a Team, he gets to be red. And have a sword. And have fire powers. It’s just how these things work. It’s cliched, yes, but fire is an interesting element. It’s quick, but devastating. Strong and painful, but not solid.

A sword allows for quick, successive strikes, but also allows for heavy and powerful swings. It’s a good balance, and very unassuming. For someone like Kai, who thought he was the Green Ninja and likes being the center of attention, having such a simple and basic weapon and being forced to learn it’s actually a good choice with a lot of versatility would work. (I can practically hear him complaining: “but, Sensei, even Jay’s weapon is cooler than mine!”) I think he should stick with the sword! There are lots of types depending on the area of the world and time period, so this allows a lot of flexibility.

Nya: I'm not that far into the series so I actually haven't seen her become a ninja and am going off of vibes alone.

Make her spear a trident. Guys. C’mon. It's RIGHT THERE. I think a spear fits the elegant and fluid nature of water, and trident goes with the theme! Yeah, it’s a little obvious, but sometimes you just gotta commit to the bit.

[pablitogavii]

could you write smth where at like an event, people are saying that the reader isn’t rich enough or good enough to be dating pablo and she doesn’t tell him but he finds out and gets mad but the ending is sweet and cute <3

True Treasure

You attended one of the Barça events with Pablo after you finally went public about your relationship after five months of being together in secret.

Most of his fans were very kind to you especially since you weren't trying to use his fame for yourself but lived a normal life even when everyone found out you were his girlfriend.

You were very nervous about the event as it is because you get anxious in large crowds of people you don't know. And to make things worse some haters online really got you self conscious on your way there.

y.n.bebe

Barcelona, Spain

Ready for the dinner. Gracias amor por un foto <;3 @pablogavi

comments:

pablogavi: que guapa <3

hater123: that dress is literally so cheap!!

hatersclub: she looks so simple :/

besthater: nahh gavi buy her some clothes cause she poor!!

You were glad that Pablo put his phone on silent when he drove so that he didn't read any of those comments cause he would go crazy if he knew.

You didn't really care much abut branded clothes or shiny jewelry but when you arrived to the party, that's all you saw.

All the guys were in expensive suits, just like Pablo was and it looked so freaking good on him! All the women were either wearing Dior, Channel, Versace or some other brand I didn't even know about.

"You okay?" he asked snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you close and you just nodded faking a smile not wanting him to worry about this.

You were next to take photos and you never felt more uncomfortable. Everybody was looking at you smiling but all you thought was that they thought your dress was cheap and that you didn't belong here.

"Um..I'm sorry Pablo..I need some air" you said after the photos walking out to get some fresh air suddenly the whole room feeling stuffy and heavy. Pablo of course followed after you worried what happened.

"You feeling anxious princesa??" he said kissing your head and you just nodded your head looking at how beautiful Barcelona looked a t night from the balcony you were at.

"I'm sorry Pablo.." you said tears spilling down your cheek obviously not because you were anxious but because you felt like you didn't deserve him, like you were embarrassing him.

"Amor..que pasa? Tell your Pablito what's wrong please?" he pulled you in closer raising your chin and drying a tear from your face.

"I..don't belong here. I'm not rich enough..and I shouldn't have came" you said unable to keep quiet any longer really wanting to go home right now.

"Amor..where is this coming from huh? Of course you belong here! You're my girl and the most beautiful woman tonight" he spoke kissing your lips afterwards and you sniffled.

"But..but I'm not wearing expensive clothes like everyone here" you said and Pablo giggled pulling you closer into him and kissing the top of your head.

"And why do you think I chose you? Out of all those influencers flashing Versace in my face wanting me just because they want to be Barcelona Wags... I chose you because even in a simple white dress, you look breathtaking to me princesa.." Pablo spoke with his hands on your hips and you smiled blushing a little.

"R..really??" you say looking up and he smiled nodding his head and holding your face and kissing your lips lovingly.

"Mhm..now come with me and let's enjoy the party princesa!" he said and you nodded walking back inside spending truly a magical night together.

pablogavi

Love isn't about expensive clothes and jewelry...love is about connection, laughs, silly arguments and LOTS of cuddles! I can't believe there are people who can hate on such an angel who makes me so happy every day. My favorite thing she wears is my hoodie <3 Te amo princesa!! @y.n.bebe

comments:

gavifan: I read the comments underneath her latest post. some people are so hateful that it's unimaginable! just because somebody's not rich doesn't mean they are worthless. this girl is such a sweet soul and deserves all love that Pablo knows how to give <3

gavirafanclub: i love y.n because she is not one of those fake plastic influencers trying to get famous by being with gavi! she is the real one!!

y.n.fangirl: made me so angry to see them comment how her dress is "cheap" when it looked absolutely stunning on her! she's an 18 year olf girl and is dressing according to her age!

gavi_y.n_lovestory: this picture is soo cute!! she's so precious pablo! protect her at all cost <33

Pablo's post really meant a lot to you and it inspired all of your friends to stand in your corner as well which wasn't what you expected at all to happen.

mikkykiemeney story: people hating on this angel is unacceptable! true value is in your heart! <3 love you hermanita mia!

pedri story: amiga mia! you are more than amazing and we all love you very much! stop hating on good people!!

aurorapaezg story: hermanita mia preciosa! I love you so much and don't let any haters get you down! you're the best thing that happened to my hermano and we love you so much!!! <33

siramartinez story: I'm in complete disbelief that this girl is receiving hate! she's the sweetest human and always there to support her boyfriend! ps. pls let me borrow that dress cause it's bomb girl!!!

[pinkblahaj]

rick riordan's female characters pt 1: annabeth

this year i reread pjo and hoo for the first time since finishing the series five years ago, and i now understand the (somewhat?) common opinion that the way he wrote female characters was definitely flawed in some ways. although, i don't completely agree with all the criticisms, and i still love the majority of his characters. because i have so many thoughts on annabeth, i'll make this post just about her and discuss other characters later.

i'm certainly not one of those avid annabeth haters, but i do think there are valid reasons to not like her- I think there are valid reasons to not like any character. for me, there are moments where she is a bit too arrogant or mean. but i don't think she should have been written with an entirely different personality either- it makes sense why she is the way she is, and all the characters are flawed in their own ways, which is what makes them relatable. i just don't relate to annabeth like i do to the characters i like more.

i see how some ppl dislike the dynamic between percy and annabeth, but i feel like a lot of those issues are just a product of their time. the judo-flipping scene in mark of athena has been made to be way bigger of a deal than it is. it was not annabeth "abusing" percy- it's more akin to play wrestling. but... i do agree that moments like this would be clearly unacceptable if annabeth were a boy (which, i know, those "if the roles were reversed" type discussions sometimes are used to weaponize the suffering of men in order to diminsh women's issues, and i am not trying to do that here). it unfortunately does make sense when you think about the whole anti-femininity trend that used to be so common, and existed in rick's books as well (ex: aphrodite's children). annabeth is supposed to be tough and scary, not soft and weak. but we should also keep in mind that every relationship's boundaries our different- annabeth might joke about percy being dumb, but it's obvious that doesn't bother him and he likes the nickname "seaweed brain".

annabeth's treatment of rachel in botl seems to be a dividing topic, and i can see both sides. i honestly was quite bothered by it when i reread botl, and i find it strange that some ppl will hate on percy on this book while not criticizing annabeth. but honestly that's probably because i'm a sensitive person. some ppl find it funny, which is probably how it was supposed to come across. it was probably just as obvious to rachel as it was to us readers that annabeth was only being mean out of her fear of losing percy... and rachel did indeed like percy. but i do wish that we would've seen someone call her out or see her apologize, and while her abandonment issues are an explanation for her behavior, they are not an excuse. but again, it's safe to assume that rachel was not that affected by it, and being a teenager who is rude to someone bc they like the same guy as you is not the worst thing a person can do. (i do think it's interesting how this situation is brought up more frequently than leo bullying frank, which actually did hurt frank.)

contrary to what i've seen other ppl say, i actually really liked annabeth in heroes of olympus. i thought her povs were great, and i loved to see her interact with the new characters, especially piper. i also found her more likable (ik some think she was too perfect, but i loved seeing her as a competent leader). the scene with frank and the finger trap was so cute and because i love and relate to frank, i will forever appreciate her for that. however she was def underutilized- outsmarting arachne by attacking her pride made sense because of arachne's backstory, but that strategy became overused (the way she defeated nyx was kind of ridiculous). and of course, who doesn't love the percabeth scenes- sure they were obsessed with each other, but that makes sense. they just met the rest of the seven, ofc they're not going to care about their new friends to the extend that they do for each other (side note: i don't disagree that seven felt like "co-workers", but i don't see a problem with it either).

leah was a perfect choice for the tv show adaptation. i honestly could not care less that she's not blonde and white. yes, the acting could be a bit better, but they're young and i've seen worse acting from older actors. what i do have an issue with is how annabeth was written in the show. i feel like the writers read that she's the brains of the group and she's serious and forgot that she's also a twelve year old girl. annabeth is a great character because she is strong, smart and skilled, but still flawed, realistic and relatable. i wish the show delved into other parts of her character, such as her love for architecture, the scene with the spiders, and her relationship with luke- this last one especially is such an important part they missed out on, because it's a huge source of her vulnerability in the books. i'm completely fine with them cutting out her crush on him, but the fact that she looks up to him and sees him as family is so central to why she can't accept that he's betrayed her. her believing that there is still good left in luke is also key to how they defeat kronos with luke's help. show luke says that annabeth is like his little sister, but without us actually seeing this relationship, it's going to be hard to understand in later seasons why annabeth defends him.

overall, annabeth is a great character and deserving of her popularity, but i don't think that if you dislike her you hate complex female characters. while she's not my favorite, i see her as a testament to both rick's ability to write good female characters and some of his shortcomings in this area.

[leadfort]

Random Quith lore dump ish

Will anyone read this I don't know but I feel like sharing anyway cause his claws are deep into my psyché and he demands I share him with the world. Kith'rak Quith is a current antagonist in my homebrew D&D setting called Galac. Which I will probably post more about at some point cause it is like most of my life right now. Being homebrew the giths are also a bit different from Forgotten Realms but I'll prolly get into that in their own post. For the sake of this, well, one just has to know that in this setting/AU the gith are united under the Sha'sal Empire, founded by Zetch'r'r. There's no red dragons, and there is no astral sea. There IS space and there ARE ships and boats (like spelljammers) that travel in space. But time flows as normal. There is only one plane of existence. Where do I even start He's bad. Like Bad bad. CW for toxic, manipulator, groomer, eating people, sadist, dubcon... ------------- Quith is a man who basically had everything he wanted deliviered on a silver platter. He's intelligent and always had a strong affinity for weilding magic and psionics, making him excel as a powerful gish at an early age. A prodigy you might say. He was given the command of a fleet of his own when he was in the early twenties and everything were just smooth sailing. During some stays at youth training grounds he caught eyes for a very promising young guy, Kar'i'nass who he decided to personally tutor... and slowly molded into his personal lap and attack dog. He was respected for most, hated by some. As it seemed that he always carried a haughty attitude and always thought he could throw his weight around to get whatever he wanted. But most of the time he would be a good soldier. .... And then FUCKING SOMETHING happened. (Which I cannot go into more details into right now because, as aforementioned, he is a villain in an ongoing D&D campaign and HOO BOY my players are still trying to figure that out and. They are also. On here. Hello I see you there Quith fucker #1 and Quith hater #1) The most important part of what happened is that. Whatever happened. It sorta. Fundamentally. Changed him. Quith had never been a good guy, but all of his dark desires had been sealed under a lot of mental discipline. Now that was all thrown out of the window and he became rather unhinged. Still, somewhat presentable to his own kin, but takes it out to an insane degree on istiks. He knows he changed and he knows that he is a derranged man living on the fucking verge, and he is struggling every day to keep himself together. At first when one meets him, he is seemingly easily amused, soft spoken, curious and patient. It seems like he absolutely loves socializing with people and it is not uncommon for him to shower people with flattery. His true intent is to learn more about other people to start digging into their psyche in whatever manner he can. Preferably with words, but he will use psionics or violence if he has to. He feels like he has 'unlocked' the truest part of himself as he went mad, and he revels in the thought of seeing other people joining him in the deepest pits of madness. He is a thrill seeker who cannot stand being bored even for one second, though his idea of fun is causing chaos wherever he can ('can' being the most important word here. He is still incredibly intelligent, and will not risk his own safety for amusement). The thrill seeking extends to a sort of exhibitionism, where he sort of gets off on seeing people appaled by his actions. He uses his status to get away with murder and absolutely loves when he can see that people cannot do anything about him, often because of fear for their own lives. Quith does not take 'No' for an answer, and will either provoke, manipulate, gaslight, threaten, or force the answer to change. When confronted himself, depending on the person, he will either respond with threats of violence, or throw a whole 'woe is me' schtick to guilt trip and gaslight the other person to change their mind about him.

------- His appearances in the game. The players met Quith in a cold place called Snowport. Which was not a gith place, but a lot of them had decided to show up there for currently unknown reasons. Quith and his soldiers were shaking down ships, though were not given access to the players ship. Next they saw him, he telekenetically held a ratfolk man in the air and slashed through his arm for supposedly stealing, kissed the man on the cheek, and handed the arm back before letting him go. The players were appaled by this, but mostly one character called Vaughn. Vaughn confronts a man who is simply amused by the fact that this tiefling even has the balls to confront him in the first place. In turn, Quith showed no respect for boundries which unfortunately Vaughn mostly took as a form of flirting. Which.. later led to him seeking out Quith at a bar. at night. and quith getting vaughn proceededly more drunk until they got to a private place... Long story short, Quith proceeded to pressure Vaughn to decedrate a corpse for his own amusement, and he proceeded to manhandle the guy, ending with more manipulation and dubcon at best. Vaughn left this with a confusion as he is very much in pain after the ordeal, but also left with the memories of being severely love bombed. ... Later, other crewmembers found out that one of their crewmates, a bugbear, has been working with quith and brought him an alive dragonborn woman, which Quith proceeded to hastily eat various organs from. Eating people is something he seems to do on the regular, though the players still do not know why. This lead to the bugbear being fired from the crew, as the captain didn't want to be associated with all that. Unfortunate. As they were leaving port, Quith teleported onto their ship with said bugbear and demanded they take him back or else he will blow the ship up. They gritted their teeth, took him back, and he's been sitting in a jail cell ever since.

Vaughn secretly kept in contact with Quith through Sending spells, and over time Quith has been wispering to Vaughn about paths to power and immortality, which Vaughn has been very receptive to. Next they met, Waaaaaaaaaaay later. The players were dealing with a town suffering from a curse laid by a coven of hags. Quith showed up and lended the party a hand, only so that he could get Vaughns attention quicker... which led to yet another wonderful date <3 This was the last they truly met in person. For now.

(im not going into the Slumber Party right now)

If you red this far uhh. Thank you! I hate his ass roflmao I can add more to this later right? Thats a thing I can do? We'll see!

[demadogs]

what dynamics are you most excited about seeing in s5? 2. what's your ideal way for byler to play out?

im most excited for nancy and mikes dynamic!! theyve been so long overdue for a heart to heart and i really hope that shot we saw in this s5 video is mike coming out to her. potentially a hot take, but id so much rather mike come out to nancy than karen. i also think itd just make more sense because of all the stancy parallels to mlvn and just the fact that karens not as big of a character. honestly id rather mike come out to JOYCE than to karen. i feel nothing about the concept of him coming out to karen im sorry dont cancel me.

i have written a LONG ass post about how i want byler to play out. i just reread it and most of what i wrote still holds true. i have a few updates and changes and i definitely want him to come out to nancy. i posted it in 2023 and i think im gonna rb it with an updated version. i was going to answer how i want byler to playout here in a concise way but i cannot be concise about byler to save my life. every time i tried to answer, it was long as hell so i think im gonna save the hella long answer for when i rb the original post with my updated s5 vision cuz itll take me weeks.

that being said, i dont wanna leave you with nothing so im gonna tell you what is most important to me with how byler plays out.

mike and el's breakup being the same scene as mikes first time coming out to someone. it should be a BEAUTIFUL scene. ive said it before and i'll say it again, i HATE when people brush off the breakup and hope it'll be a quick meaningless scene in the first episode just to skip right to byler. its important and it has the potential to be one of the best scenes in the entire show. i want it to make me cry. it should be heartwarming and show that they do care about each other and love each other so much, just not romantically. i want el to tell him that she also didn't love him, she just thought she did. they both were just trying to be normal instead of doing what they wanted.

i want the painting lie to be a symbol of HOPE for mike!!! not something that triggers a massive fight. i want mike to ask about the painting once el admits she never loved him either and once she asks "what painting" mike realizes everything will said in the van was a lie, and INSTEAD OF BEING MAD ABOUT THAT IT GIVES HIM HOPE THAT HE MAY FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!!!!!! I AM A PAINTING-INDUCED FIGHT HATER!!!!!!! I WANT IT TO BE A SYMBOL OF HIS LOVE BECAUSE IT LITERALLY IS!!!!!

i want mike to accidentally see robin and vickie together as a happy queer couple and this completely rocks his world (inspired by the book i'll give you the sun, my beloved). i imagine this happening after his first kiss with will. i think it happened in the upsidedown and once they were back in hawkins he started shutting him out again. he still has so much shame and internalized homophobia. and then he happens to look through the window of a room and sees robin and vickie kissing and smiling and laughing. i see a lot of people talking about what can be done with robin and vickies characters in regards to byler. robin clocking mikes feelings, mike asking robin about vickie, stuff like that but honestly this is what i want the most. i want mike to just see queer happiness right in front of him. i want him to start crying and not be able to look away from them. i want this to completely change everything inside him that hates himself. i want this alone to be enough for him to allow himself to be who he really is. or at least start to try. i really really hope this scene happens it would probably be my favorite scene in the whole show.

[delliebre]

what the f i just stumbled upon ur profile today and i have to say its the most gorgeous art ive ever seen im being serious i am in absolute awe.. i need to have it hanged on my wall omg you are so talented!! if you dont mind could you share a little bit about your art journey/how long youve been actively practising and how you found your style?

Hiii wow thank you!! I had made an art journey post a few months ago but deleted it I think.. but basically I started like how most artists do with paper and stuff. I began as a small child, inspired by my father, wanting to impress him and to overall create things.

I have been actively practicing digital art since 2018 that is when I got a drawing tablet and wanted to seriously improve.

See my instagram acc: nonnydoge. Most of my old works from when I was...12 to now? Idk but I kept some up despite embarrassment. The first ones I did on my phone I loved using Ibispaintx but I started digital art with the sony sketch app.

I have always loved thick-like brushwork in art. But I thought I should not pursue it because I was not very good and pursuing a style before finding footing in fundamentals, I knew, was not how I wanted to stump myself. So I did not focus much on style for years as means to improve. But I felt really bad each time I made high detail, rendered work... despite how silly and stupid that sounds. It was not the look I wanted to create with.

I look up to some artists with high quality, super detailed work, but I do not want to create like that. My favorite painting I have done, it is an acrylic painting I did in like 10 minutes... it is simple.

I am a nerd lol I get emotional looking at some paintings of trees simply because they are painted so well.

I just really love looking at paintings that do not do all the work for me. I love finding it. I love mess.

And yet when I create work that is like that, I still feel really bad. I think others will then think I do not even know how to "render" or detail. But I can... I have done it for years.. and it is my own self-doubts and insecurity that stop me often from just leaving paintings that are messier, that I enjoy the look of... so I end up rendering them further, pushing them into a style that, when it is done and I step back from, I hate.

It is stupid. I feel bad when I create high-detail, sharp work, and I feel bad when I create messier, painterly work... I think then you can understand my hatred for my art every day lol....

It does not help with the things I have been told, either, since creating looser work :/

But anyway. It took maybe 3 years for me to feel a bit happier since starting with ps in 2018 with my improvement. I think my most popular work is from 2021? It is detailed. I do not think it is bad, I just do not, and I know at the time did not, want to draw like that and was upset with myself at the end of it.

2018 - 2021 so 13-16 here

but this is also a 2018 😂:

In checking the profile, you can determine when I started to make "decent" work lol.

In recent years, I have not been "grinding" learning art any much more.. I am just coasting ig even tho ik I shoulddd be practicing more. My friends, like, everyday practice for HOURS in a discord call and wow I don't even like drawing for more than 30 mins☠️ Sometimes I join them but they are just my podcast lol I love them and their art <3

anyway.. I am SO happy that when i was 17 I made this blog because it allowed me to draw and post humans more!

Thank you again!!

I am very thankful for all who have been so kind to me and my art!! I never would have imagined!! I also never would have imagined my absolute favorite digital painters, those who I have looked up to since beginning my journey saw my art and followed me!!!

It is crazy.

Yeah I feel like an absolute shit artist every day LOL but still I do appreciate everyone who is kind to me I am just my biggest hater and doubter.

[mistress-of-vos]

// Long post:

The fact that the Ra's al Ghul tag is always filled with anything but Ra's al Ghul content drives me nuts.

I get into the tag, hoping to see someone else who enjoys Ra's. I hope to see discussions of his lore, comic panels, fun facts, or at the very least ship posts about him and someone else.

Instead, and somehow, it's always Ra's' hate OR hate towards Bruce's love interests and/or children.

I can't freaking believe the Ra's al Ghul tag is filled with Selina Kyle hate. This is exhausting. Ra's is NOT his children and even less his children ships. I don't care how annoyed you're that your ship hasn't gotten content or whatever, it literally has NOTHING to do with Ra's so why the hell would you tag him!?

Ra's is his own character. He's a wonderful character with a complex history of loss, mourning and love for mother earth. He has felt the pain of death too many times and yet stays decided to save mother nature. He's not some puppet in the background you can always pull as some "point" regarding ships that don't involve him!

Ra's has so many love interests on his own and a handful more given to him by fandom. People could get invested on that rather than constantly reducing Ra's to some old guy with a ship shirt that doesn't even add or lessen anything. How is his support a reason for a ship to be canon anyway? Bruce literally DOESN'T care and never will, and if you want to be angry at Bruce always marrying the same woman then... Idk, write fanfic?

It's just so tiring. 9 out of 10 posts in the Ra's' tag have nothing to do with him. I actually smile when I see stuff such as Danny Phantom crossovers because at least in those Ra's gets to be a villain of his own. I smile at Miraculous LB prompts because it's nice to see Ra's being on his own as a villain. I very much prefer those posts in the tag rather than posts that have NOTHING to do with him.

And this even isn't ship hate because I'm a non canon shipper and couldn't care less what people ship. But it does annoy me to have a character's tag spammed with content that doesn't involve the character in any sense. Imagine if I kept tagging Cassie in KonTim posts! It would be very annoying, wouldn't it? Well, that's what this fandom does and I don't understand why! The lack of manners here and in Twitter it's crazy, it's like people are trying to be annoying rather than appeal to the public. And then people wonder why fandoms are so violent.

And it's not only a problem here I swear every DC character and ship tag I follow is taken over by haters. Constant spam that either doesn't involve the character at all or straight up hate towards the character/ship. Everyday I block at least ten accounts. Everyday.

I just... I just wished there were genuine Ra's' enjoyers out there and not fake fans who are only using Ra's to prop up some of his children and their ships. I wished I would meet someone who was like "Hey I'm a big fan of Slade Wilson/Ra's al Ghul!" because I would love to hear their thoughts on an actual Ra's' ship and what it means. I want to see more of Ra's, not his children!

And I know this post won't change anything. I know fandom very well and I'm aware Ra's is cursed to always be used as a puppet, hell, DC actually killed him just to give all his elements to one of his children (and make said child ooc anyway). Ra's will never escape from this, not in canon nor in fandom, and it saddens me because he's so much more than people think he is! Ra's could be as big as Lex Luthor, Joker, or Slade Wilson yet no one will let him.

In the end, nothing will change. Ra's is a forgotten, used character condemned to be torn apart to prop up his children. Never a man of his own, never allowed to be free, never happy. And yet I'm still here, hoping and waiting for the day he will fly again.

[rain-dom]

[Girl to Femboy Transformation] Coming Out Of His Cocoon.

“Goddammit! No service, still!”

Stacey was holding up her phone into the air, desperately trying to get some sort of connection to the outside world.

Stuck in the middle of the A Thousand Eyes Forest, with no connection to the internet, no way to call anyone, and no way home, this would be a nightmare for the average person. But this was pure hell for Stacey, a popular social media star, who was used to her millions of adoring fans - and haters - watching her every move, either judging and mocking her, or cheering her on and defend her her at every turn. That was company.

Not that she cared about any of them that much, anyway. Blind hate or love was all the same, as long as she kept up her good-girl schtick online and kept growing her audience, it didn’t matter what people online thought. Even her shallow fellow-influencer “friends” only tolerated her so that they could get numbers off of her and vice-versa. Purely transactional. She didn’t need true friends or companions, all she needed were the increasing views and followers, which made her more money, which made her Mom and Manager happy, and that’s all that mattered.

Well, until recently. Stacey wanted to stop being online all of the time for the sake of her mom’s praise, and wanted to go out and find herself. Get a hobby that she liked, go on dates with cute boys - stuff any nineteen-year-old would do.

Let’s just say… her mom wasn’t too happy with her daughter’s newfound sense of self, with her kicking her out of the house indefinitely. So, Stacey would, after joining her “friends” on this camping trip, she would leave her campsite and never come back.

In any case, she didn’t even have them to comfort her. And making matters worse, her phone died, due to the lack of battery.

In the middle of the night.

“Ugh, well isn’t this just terrific!” she yelled as she kicked a rock, which bumped off of a large, nearby tree, scattering a few animals - birds, rabbits, raccoons, and squirrels. Unknown to her, however, her careless actions made this old tree spirit unhappy with her.

“I’m stuck here alone with little food and water, in the middle of some…disgusting forest, walking in circles in the dark. And I can’t see shit! Who even names a forest A Thousand Eyes, anyway?? So creepy…” she said as she ate the last of her chocolate bar, which she then tossed onto the lush, green grass. “And my boots are all dirty, too!” she pouted, gesturing to her $5,000 pink glittery boots, covered in thick, brown mud.

“Know those bitches are gonna have a blast with me out of the picture. They’re probably already making their sad little videos about ‘HoW muCH tHeY mIsS StAcEy’, then a week later they’ll post some expose about me or whatever.” She laughed.

She sat down at the bottom of a large, ancient tree, and sighed. It was starting to rain, and she started to cry with the sky above.

“I guess this is what I get for not getting you enough views, huh, mom? You got what you wanted. Now, you don’t even have to face me! God, you’re so…arghh!! I HATE you!!” She yelled, breaking down in tears.

“I wish I could have seen you for who you were before! But it’s too late for that now. Maybe this is just what I deserve. Not like I’m a saint, or whatever.”

She closed her eyes and decided to at least get herself some shut eye.

Stacey awoke to a voice, one that was deep and ancient sounding.

“Stacey Steinberg. You and your companions have desecrated our home, the Forest of A Thousand Eyes.”

It was morning now, and the rain had long since subsided. “Is the tree… talking to me? Through my head? God, I must be going crazy…”

She knew what this tree was talking about, though. Her and her friends did make a mess at their campsite, leaving all sorts of junk - wrappers, water bottles, and even food.

“So that’s why it’s called the Forest of A Thousand Eyes.” Stacey thought, feeling both embarrassed and fearful of this forest that watched her every move.

She turned to face the tree, and crossed her arms over her chest. “Y-you know, being stuck in the middle of this stupid forest is punishment enough, so if you think-“

“We were thinking of a punishment, yes. But sensing your pain, your frustration, and your anger against your fellow humans who have wronged you - and us - we thought it would be best if you could join us in our great battle against your kind.”

She sighed. “I have literally nothing else better to do so, what do you want me to do, hive-mind?”

“Let yourself be renewed by the vines, and let us mold you into the Protector of the Forest of A Thousand Eyes.”

“Protector?? Of this forest? I hate this forest, but…not gonna lie, I like the title though. Protector. You know…I don’t dislike the sound of that”, she said with smirk.

“So be it.”

The clouds parted, and light beamed down onto the spot Stacey was sitting. The green tree she was sitting on glowed green, its layers in its bark shining brightly. Stacey took a step back, closed her eyes, and turned her head away from the tree, shielding them from the light by holding her hands out.

“Our vines will mold your body to your liking. You will have all the powers of the forest, and will protect all life within it, with your life. Now, remove your clothing and lay on the Home Tree. You will be gagged with the vines as well. This is done so that you can be as connected to nature as possible. But, you will be able to communicate with your voice and your thoughts if you want us to terminate the modifications at any time.”

“…you guys are bunch of perverts.” She said with a disgusting look on her face, opening her eyes as the light dimmed. “But hey, I’ve got nothing more to lose. And…hm, it would be nice to exist in a different body.”

She did as they said. First, she took off her pink and purple backpack. She then took off her clothes - a pink leather jacket, her pink boots, white sweater crop top, her light blue skirt.

Then, she took off her pink panties and bra, and her white socks, and laid on the tree trunk.

Then, the tree glowed again.

“Ugh…I feel so warm-agh!”

She saw as she was being covered in vines, as they one by one started to wrap around her hands, arms, legs, neck, and torso. The vines restrained her arms and legs, pinning her to the tree.

“Eww!” Stacey said, disgusted as more of the vines wrapped around her body. The vines covered up her eyes and shoved themselves into her mouth, gagging her, and squeezed and wriggled around her head and throat, making her face change somewhat, although she didn’t know in what way, but it felt…good, nonetheless. Her straight, neck-length blonde hair felt longer and free.

Meanwhile, she heard her voice deepen, sounding more boyish.

“Mmm..ohh..” she said with her new voice as her muscles began to relax.

“Oh! hah….” The vines squeezed around her chest, pushing down on her breasts, as if they were massaging them. Her shoulder and arms felt like they were pushing out of her body, as if like bubbles of stress were popping out of them.

She felt the vines tighten around her waist and hips, massaging them as well.

“Are you enjoying the changes so far?” Home Tree asked.

”I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…yeah, the feels so good!” She thought, while also nodding in between her muffled moans.

“We have one more change we need to address - would like us to give you a beautiful gift?”

”Mm-hmgh!” Stacey agreed.

With that, she felt the vines quickly spread her legs, as something warm and slimy ran down her thighs from her crotch. Something started to tickle her clit, making Stacey’s body tremble and moan with great pleasure.

After thirty seconds, the teasing stopped.

”H-hey, what’s the hold up—AH!”

After the teasing, it felt like two large vines were inserting themselves into her pussy and her anus, each one taking turns fucking her.

”Oh, fuck yes!” Casey thought, her moans getting loader and loader, the penetrations becoming faster and faster, harder and harder until she finally felt herself squirt.

”Wow…I’d never thought my first time would be with a tree, but…fuck! I don’t care anymore! This feels great!”

Then, she felt the vines, tugging, pulling…something in her vagina.

”Oh god, what’s happening nOwW?!?”

As the vines kept pulling whatever was inside of her out of her, she felt it growing, expanding…twitching. She also felt two other, smaller things being pulled after it, growing size as well.

The vines then wrapped around those unidentified things, then pulled them even harder.

”Gagh!! Ooh!!” Casey groaned. ”What is that thing??”

As the vines kept pulling, the faster those things grew. Faster and faster, bigger and bigger did they grow, until they were…pulled outside of her?

The vines tugged on them three more times, with more and more of them wrapping around it, until they seemed to reach a large enough size.

The largest of them, already feeling like it was about to burst.

Long and hard, twitching and throbbing, Casey didn’t care what it was, as the sensations coming from it were too much for her to bare!

”Oh god! Whatever that thing is, it feels like it gonna explode! Please, do something!” she begged.

The vines answered by rubbing it, the feelings almost pulsating from her crotch, Casey’s body shook as she moaned loudly, her head throwing itself back, reacting to the new feelings down there, as the vines also started to penetrate her ass again.

”It-it feels like lightning…exploding all over my body!”

As the vines kept rubbing it faster and faster, penetrating harder and harder, she could feel the sensations increase, higher and higher, faster and faster, until suddenly-

”Aahmngh!!” she moaned, feeling whatever that was welling up inside of her finally released themselves, as warm, thick liquid shot out of her and onto the vines, and dripped down onto her.

She hadn’t even begun collecting herself, when she felt the vines moving across her body, shuffling and flexing, wrapping tightly around her torso, and getting looser at her thighs and legs. Some of them didn’t even feel like vines anymore, most of them felt like…leaves? And a few twigs?

Afterwards, she felt the leaves release from her body, as they returned to the tree.

“Ack! Hack!” She gasped as she felt the vines leaving her mouth. She pushed her long, brown hair out of her eyes as the vines over her eyes lifted. “Hah, hah...wait cough, cough, is my hair…long again? And why is it- my voice? It sounds so weird now! What the fuck happened to me—oh, my god!!”

She looked down, as her eyes revealed to her her new body: She was wearing nothing but a almost skintight, shoulder-less, and sleeveless green dress, which was made up mostly of leaves and a few brown twigs, the lower parts being shades of a darker green, the edges of which shaped into cute triangles. A few pink and white flowers sprouted on the dress, too. Save for her nipples poking out of dress, her boobs were gone, her shoulders were slightly wider, her arms a little longer, and her hands were bigger. Complete with soft, pale skin, it replaced her fake tanned skin. Her curves smoothed out, and her butt was slightly bigger. And there was something, something hard and leaky poking out under her tight, green dress, between her soft, thick thighs-

“I’m…I’m a boy?? You…you turned me into a…a femboy??"

“This isn’t our doing. While we might have assisted in giving you this body, this is the body you wanted, is it not?”

“A-a mirror! Where the fuck did I put my mirror?!” She looked around for her backpack, but it was gone.

“You wanted to leave your old, filthy life behind, so we removed all of your material possessions that reminded you of it. But, if you want a ‘mirror’, we suppose we do have those here. Go to the nearest lake and see, yourself.”

After she ran to the lake, she bent over to see how much she had changed.

“My…my face…” she said as she touched her more androgynous face, its edges more defined.

She looked at the rest of her newly minted body, and blushed.

It had tiny freckles that danced across her nose and under her eyes. She saw how her nail polish now alternated between green and brown on each nail. She touched her hair, which was finally in its natural color again, brown, something that her mother never liked.

But he did.

Tears started welling up in his eyes.

“H-holy shit…I’ve never really considered being a boy, or any of this ever happening, but now I…think I can totally get used to this.” He smiled, wiping a tear from his face. “God this is…so weird, so confusing, but I also feel…amazing. Thank you, so much!”

“It pleases us that you enjoyed the changes. Now, the real work must be done.”

The animals - deer, birds, rabbits, raccoons, squirrels, butterflies, ants - all moved in around him. He stood back, scared that they might attack him.

“What, what’s happening now??”

“There is no need to fear. These are your fellow members in the animal kingdom. They are the ones you are going to protect.”

He looked at them, now seeing the little details he had never seen before. The way the ants moved together, they way the birds protected their nests, and the way the caterpillar hatched from its cocoon, turning into a butterfly.

That butterfly landed on his hand, softening his tense stance as he recognized himself in its transformation.

“Wow…you are all actually beautiful, in your own…weird way. Like, I-I’m still not completely sold on the dirt and the elements, but…maybe I was a little too quick to judge you guys.” He said, almost about to tear up again.

Casey turned to the tree once again, which seemed teleport wherever he went. He smiled and put his hands on his hips. “I think I’m definitely ready to be the protector of this forest. Now, where do we begin?”

[cookieandbread]

SPOILER FOR TUA S4

because I'm French (a hater at heart) here's everything I disliked about tua s4

it felt like half a season. and yeah there was half as much episode as there is usually, but even in the storytelling it felt like half of the story was missing (notably the EXPLANATIONS on so many things)

Klaus being sidelined. AGAIN. just kill him at this point if you have no idea what to do with him (I mean they did kill him so....)

since we're on Klaus, every season I feel like I'm rewatching him doing the EXACT. SAME. THING. but in a different outfit + hair. there's a commentary that could be made about being stuck in the vicious circle of addiction, which, fair. but while s2 shows that vicious circle, s3 and s4 are just a repeat of s1 because the writers were lazy.

I HATED the Lila x Five thing. it's not so much about the ship (that I don't like anyway) but I feel like it's an insult to both characters (but particularly Five) to make it happen. Lila loves Diego, and even through the hard parts of their marriage she tried her best to make it work. and Five? Five "I waited 45 years in the apocalypse and became a time assassin just to get back to my family" Hargreeves? you're going to tell me that THAT Five would dare to do something that would shatter his brother's entire world? PLEASE.

the ending is lazy. I'm all for tragic endings that make people cry until they drown in their own tears, but only when they're WELL DONE. this just felt like "oh idk what to do anymore with them so let's kill everyone". and I saw it coming since the beginning of the season so...

is it me or was there more gore and swears than all the other seasons? like I get they finally had the right to swear and all that, but I feel like it was a little overdone? idk maybe that's just me

most characters felt like caricature of themselves, notably Luther. (tbh for Luther it has felt like that for a few seasons now, but the issue extended to other characters this season). either that or it felt like they had no reasons to be here, like Viktor.

why did Ben make everyone drink the marigold? he could've just took some himself and that's all. why did they even need to vote on that considering the fact that, even if one of them took marigold, not all of them would get their powers back?

s3 post-credit scene wasn't explained AT ALL???? all the season I was waiting for Umbrella!Ben to pop up in the tube station with Five & Lila but nope. nothing. did they even rewatch the previous seasons before making this one?

WHERE IS THE INCREDIBLE SOUNDTRACK???? THE ONLY THING I THOUGHT WOULDN'T FAIL ME FAILED ME?????

WHERE WAS THE DANCE SEQUENCE????

probably forgot some things but idc anymore at this point (which is probably more care than Steve Blackman put into this season)

[badaceattorney-deactivated206942]

-Extremely long pinned post! Everyone’s favorite!-

Welcome to Bad Ace Attorney. I post ideas related to Ace Attorney every day at noon, and I also post other ace attorney related stuff here. My main account is @hotsinglesmusic, and I also post warframe stuff now as @cephalonsugma.

You can (and should) submit your own ideas or just send me whatever you want by using my submission box or by sending me an ask.

Read below for guidelines on idea submissions, my FAQ, a list of tags I use in case you want to search/block them, and literally everything else you could think of.

Idea Categories

I sort all my ideas into formatted categories so that they have consistency.

A Case Idea is for:

The premise, theme, or murder of a case (50s Sci-fi themed case, The victim died eating a sandwich, All the witnesses seem to be ghosts)

Any sort of gameplay/story gimmick (you play as a prosecutor, you have to time your objections using a quick time event, Percieve but for speech patterns)

Any other specific event that could happen during a case (“Athena suddenly begins speaking in tongues” works, but “the judge can cast spells” would be a Character Idea)

A Character Idea is for:

An original character idea (Insert your OC. No really, feel free to send me your OCs. Just prepare for me to maybe roast them a little if I find a way to make it funny, unless you say you don’t want me to do that)

Any sort of name pun idea (a barber named Harry Styles, Minimalist named Leslie Moore, Lesbian catgirl named Kitty De Famme)

A variation/deviation from an existing character (The judge but with hair, Franziska but her whip is a charging cable, Pearl fey if she became a lawyer)

A Plot Twist is an occasional repost adding additional info.

Submission/Ask Guidelines

All idea submissions have to start with "Case Idea:" or "Character Idea:" and fit in that category. This only applies to idea submissions.

I might make fun of your submission/ask a tiny bit if I think of a funny way to do it, especially if you’re being hostile. If you don’t want me to do this let me know, but I wouldn't post your submission if I actually thought it was bad. This is just me joking around.*

Please don't send suicide jokes, rape jokes, racism jokes, or fat shaming jokes.** (Gay jokes and trans jokes are fine because I generally assume that if you're in this fandom and on tumblr you probably know enough about gay and trans people.)

If you think I’m hot/smart/funny/etc you have to tell me (sorry man, it’s the rules)

I will immediately delete any ask or submission that has nothing even remotely to do with ace attorney, my blog, my posts, or me.***

Any ask or submission that doesn’t follow the guidelines above will be answered/addressed privately if possible.

FAQ

Q: Why does your screenshot look weird?

A: Because I’m taking a picture of my monitor/screen and cropping it. I play on my Switch and moving photos/videos from there takes way too much effort. The only time I ever do it is when I really need to post a video.

Q: Why didn't you post my submission?

A: Either I’m extremely busy, in which case I can’t post it right now anyways, or it didn’t follow the guidelines.

Q: Can I make fanart of your posts/characters?

A: YES. DO IT. I will repost it and credit you because other people liking what I made brings me great joy.

Q: Why do you hate narumitsu/wrightworth?

A: I don’t, actually, even though I like Gumworth and Gumwright a bit more. I joke about being the number one narumitsu hater, but it’s grown on me after playing through the Apollo Justice trilogy. However, I sometimes have a problem with the way people talk about it.****

Q: Are you joking about thinking that (insert character) is hot?

A: I am always completely sincere about that specific thing. I do like to make jokes about it but that’s because romance/sex is inherently comedic and I know that my taste in men is slightly unconventional, at least for an Ace Attorney fan.

Tags that I use sometimes

#not a case idea:***** I usually add this tag to any post that isn’t a case/character idea, in case people aren’t interested in anything else from this blog, but I’m not really consistent with it.

#tgaa liveblogging: Me liveblogging my way through The Great Ace Attorney 2: Resolve. I didn’t liveblog the first game. I will use #aaic liveblogging when I get to that game.

#rants about ace attorney shipping: I’ve started using this tag for when I rant about ace attorney ships, as I often do. Earlier rants don’t have this tag.

#fangame stuff/#magnus cloue spirit attorney: Posts about my fangame, magnus cloue spirit attorney

#music: Music I made, usually for the fangame. I also make other music but this is only the ace attorney music.

#art: visual art, probably made by someone else in response to a post

#poll: Self explanatory

#___ my love: pure simping

Magnus Cloue: Spirit Attorney

I'm making an ace attorney fangame called Magnus Cloue: Spirit Attorney, using some of the ideas from this blog along with my own separate writing.

If you want to learn more, you can browse my #fangame stuff and #magnus cloue spirit attorney tags or send me an ask about it. I would love to include any OCs you have as part of the game if I can find a place to put them.

I’m currently looking for feedback on the writing/plot/characters as I make the outlines for the game’s script, but I also could use some help from writers/artists/2d animators/programmers who know how to use RenPy/musicians who can help me out with making the soundtrack.

Join the server below if you want to be a part of it, or even if you just want to hang out and talk.

—————

*Please try not to take anything I say here too personally unless I say I'm not joking. If you need clarification on if I'm joking, ask me and I will provide it.

**Unless they're actually funny, clever, and respectful, which sometimes they are. You don't need to censor yourself, but understand that after a certain point you aren't making parody, you're just doing the thing.

***If your charity/fundraiser/blog is actually related to ace attorney, me, or my blog I will consider it, but I will be extremely cautious. I’m not going to unknowingly be part of a tumblr scam.

****I think that sometimes the characterization people apply to is very unusual/makes the story worse, and I especially take issue with the way some narumitsu shippers treat ships like Gumworth/nokomitsu or Feeniris as completely invalid or even harass the people who ship them. Also, I think that sometimes people are way too quick to defend any valid criticism of narumitsu (even if it’s only perceived as criticism) rather than admit the ship is anything other than the most perfect ship ever.

*****the tag is called “not a case idea” because at the time I made the tag I had started this blog and there were only Case Ideas, no Character Ideas. I’m not going to go through every post on this blog just to change it to “not an idea”

[just-jordie-things]

not been here in a hot while BUT IM BACK WITH MORE AUTHOR RAPID FIREEEE or challenge whatever you call it!

what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

what made you choose your username?

what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Self ship hcs please

you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

Rizzlord anon is back follkkksssss

OH MY GOD THIS IS NUTS and why won't tumblr let me put in a keep reading link ??? so sorry for this length of post alkshdgalksjdfn-

what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

hm not much? all that comes to mind is certain vocab being used... like i'm a hater of 'orbs'

2. tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

@delzinrowe and i'd tag her a million times over!! tumblr bff/wife :) she's so kind and creative and chill and supportive even when my writer's block takes me away from this app for like... months... she's inspired SO MUCH of my content with her thoughts and brainrots, i can't give her enough credit <3 she makes me believe in the power of internet friendships LOL i adore her so whole heartedly <3 <3 luv u stef <3 <3

3. what made you choose your username?

jordie was a nickname i had in middle/high school (it's not even close to me real name lol) and i guess i thought it was cute to replace "just girly things" with jordie

4. what's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i LOVE reaction images !!!!

5. what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

slow burn enemies to tolerant friends to lovers with extra slowburn on the side pretty PLEASE all of my favs would write this so well and honestly?? i want everyone to write their own extra long version of it so i can read all their takes even if the plot is the same i don't care i'm devouring nom nom nom nom

6. what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

7. what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

ppl can straight up ask!! i'm good with it as long as ur 18+ !! so prolly that! but also if u write for my favs i'm in :3

8. share a headcanon from one of your favorite ships or pairings

itadori is extremely ticklish and freaks out upon being tickled. megumi isn't the least bit ticklish, despie itadori's best efforts to find a spot that makes him giggle. this always ends up in a near-wrestling match as megumi retaliates by tickling him until eventually it gets out of hand

9. self ship hcs

AHHHH ino would keep up with all my work drama!! he knows every colleague by name and actively listen to all the tea and complaints of the day <3

10. you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

my wife, obvi!!

11. on a scale of 1-10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

perfect 5. i either love it when i'm proud of a fic or hate it when i know it's not my best work (and therefore don't do it HA)

[theheirofthesharingan]

Hi, so I've sent quite a... bunch of questions as an anon to you by now and I absolutely love your answers every time. Also the ones towards other anons. It's really great that you are spending that extra time answering questions and discussing characters on your blog!

I wanted to know if this entire question-asking is ever boring you or tiring you? Are there any particular types of questions you love more than others? Some you don't necessarily like receiving but don't mind answering anyway? Or even some you'd rather not answer at all?

Hello! Thank you. This message means so much. :)

No, answering questions is probably the most fun part of Tumblr for me. Though it has made me quite lazy because until a few months ago I would make a separate post on what I had to say, and now I end up waiting for someone to send an ask so I can answer. And it happened a couple of times. So, it's good, I guess. haha.

I like to answer almost all sort of questions (i.e. mostly character analysis), but have a hard time answering the ones that involve character × Reader because the characters that don't exist in canon are just not of my interest. I received a couple of them in the past and answered them. That was a lot of work from my regular posts because I have to care about the 'Reader' enough to write about them, which was hard to do.

The only ones I never liked receiving and never published were hate/rude asks (except for one instance because that anon had sent 3-4 rude asks in a row). In the past, they were either personal attacks or just people being upset on why I liked Itachi who did xyz thing. There was a time there used to be a lot of rude asks, I don't know from whom. They'd read my posts and send something insulting. Not sure it was the same person or different ones. It was draining back then. I blocked many of those anons and it's all fine now.

Over all, I love discussing the characters and answering the asks here. Sometimes, it's different from what I believe and thought about the characters, and sometimes I have to reread the chapters/pages to answer them. It's much better than being on Reddit or Quora or Facebook where people just want to hate and argue all the time. And you can't say anything about your favourite characters without inviting a barrage of haters to your posts.

[ev1llesb1an]

Documentation of my comphet throughout the years 🧍‍♀️

Okay so I thought it’d be funny to talk abt my most intense male fixation eras as a lesbian (idk i’m just shitposting into the void again) judge me all u want (it is probably needed) but i need ppl to understand the real me 🙏

IT CROPPED HALF HIS FACE OUT but i just realised if you aren’t british ur gonna have no idea who he is anyone (he’s lachlan white from emmerdale) omg this was an ERA everyone around me thought i was going insane (i was) but like they just didn’t get it he slayed so hard at a level that will never be reached (literally) also tom atkinson on sex education was like a full circle moment for me omg but anyways i was like 11-12 here these were literally my formative years this changed me FOREVER don’t judge he slayed omg

THIS okay so u can’t even blame me for this one it’s just correct. yes he’s like walking masculinity stereotype BUT he also had depth and was interesting 😌 the fanfics were SO GOOD this is when i really got into fanfiction and accidentally read smut where someone get pregnant in the hunger games 🧍‍♀️i read this one fic that was like x reader AND THEY STRAIGHT UP BOTH DIED but anyways. i read fanfics abt literally everyone thg character (read abt women and convinced myself i was still straight lmfao) but he was the stand out for me. i recently revisited this era and the fics ppl write on ao3 r INSANE omg like what is wrong with u ppl ( i say this lovingly but also wtf )

OMGOMGOMG BEST ERA OF MY LIFE u actually don’t understand u just had to be there. a solid percentage of my brain even to this day is made up of this man. this is like the stupidest thing ever but when i was like 14 i would just mirror his personality (and tone down the arsehole part obvs) so that i could get more talkative AND IT ACTUALLY WORKED nobody in the whole world will ever understand how much he means to me (i don’t rly understand it myself tbh) and ik ppl literally fuckinf despise him but i will not tolerate the dandy mott slander bc he is literally part of my core identity atp i revisit him every few months just to fully reconnect with my inner being. did anyone read Companion? that shit was crazy also i wrote a fic abt him on wattpad and people actually READ IT so anyways best era of my life it truly never got better i rly hit me peak (i had 0 friends) the few friends i had literally told me i talked abt him too much and it made them like me less 💀

this was arguably my most chill era like yea i was pretty obsessive but with marvel it’s so normalised to be so intense abt everything i kinda just fit right in. there’s too much professor fanfiction r u ppl okay 🧍‍♀️ also more actor fanfiction than i have ever seen for any other man in my LIFE but the capitalism went hard during this era the fluff was so good. arguably my most comforting era? idk i can’t rly explain that one

okay so these two r kinda completely different but also (for obvious reasons) the exact same. gotham was my most openly gay era and for that i will forever be grateful HOWEVER the kristen kringle haters were doing WAY TOO MUCH like she’s already dead why u doing her like that constantly (u will see this sentiment echoed later abt someone else hmmm i wonder who) but yea and then YES i was a paul dano lesbian (literally wasn’t out as lesbian at this point lmao) honestly this is probably the era my friends hated the most they would either awkwardly pretend to agree/care abt the shit i was saying or straight up tell me i was delusional 💀 my friends even now still call it my worst era but i LOVED IT kinda solidified my position at the bottom of the hellish secondary school hierarchy but i still had a good time. the paul dani riddler fanfics r next level tho the way ppl would just post STALKER fics constantly with like zero warnings and it was never labelled as yandere 🧍‍♀️i also got in an argument with a writer on wattpad bc they made the riddler and the oc have like a 6 year age gap and they met when she was 10 and he was like 16 💀 other than that good vibes all round

tbh this era was pretty brief i can’t fully explain what happened here like the vibes were immaculate but also insane WHY IS THERE SM YANDERE FANFIC peter parker is so nice but then in fanfics it’s like 👹 but i rly like spider-man HOWEVER this then led me to my final destination on the comphet journey…

omg were finally at the final stop the peak of comphet ( i came out as lesbian within this era ) arguably not my finest hour bc i swore i would never watch criminal minds bc the number of seasons is WAY TOO MUCH but here we are i watched it bc i read too much fanfic abt this man. i have lots of criticism for the fandom but he in himself is acc a rly good character. this was supposed to be like my ethical era but he’s acc killed like a bunch of ppl and thomas gibson is MESSY (don’t cancel me pls i say that lovingly 🫶) the haley hotchner misogyny nearly killed me off i don’t think i’ve ever been so miserable in a fandom and the fanfics kinda take feminism back a few hundred years but pretty good besides that

anyways there is my brainrot i hope the two (at most) ppl who will read this enjoyed 🫶 LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO im gonna say i posted this in honour of international lesbian day even tho that was several days ago

[thesinglesjukebox]

KOE WETZEL FT. JESSIE MURPH - HIGH ROAD"

Surely someone in the Auntie Anne's dynasty is also an aspiring musician...

[4.80]

Grace Robins-Somerville: It’s getting hard for me to keep track of the bearded Top 40 country singer guys—your Lukes and Zachs and Bryans and such. It wasn’t familiar with either of these artists before hearing this song, so the first thing I thought was that they’re just making up people, and the second was a half-assed attempt to come up with a joke about how Koe Wetzel is a nepo baby because he must be the heir to the Wetzel’s Pretzels fortune. As for Jessie Murph, the fried, spindly baby-voice thing has been unbearable for years. But maybe in a month or two I’ll hear this song on the radio at Cook Out while I’m stoned on a weeknight and be charmed by it, who knows.  [4]

Katherine St. Asaph: This seemingly innocuous song has produced a serious contender for stupidest beef of the year (and yet somehow not the stupidest beef in Koe Wetzel's career). Wetzel, a Texan country artist, released a duet with Murph, a TikTok-grown pop artist and Wetzel's labelmate on Columbia Records. For this, the two artists (but mostly Murph) received an amount of online hate that was startling even by easily offended country music fan standards. Why this song, and not, say, Florida Georgia Line collaborating with Bebe Rexha or Morgan Wallen collaborating with Post Malone or Koe Wetzel collaborating with Diplo and Kodak Black (o what a nexus of awfulness)? These cancellable sins, apparently: the duet wasn't supposed to be a duet (source: trust me bro), the duet is too pop (you don't write a song with Amy Allen if you're not making pop), Murph's voice is too scratchy (I actually like how she blows "indie girl voice" out into the red), or that old classic, "there's just something I don't like about her." The sheer whininess of it all makes me like this more. Good news for shit people, though: there's a solo version out. This release, a standard tactic that record labels use to juice their streaming playcounts and pander to radio programmers who're terrified of pop or rap verses in their rotation, is being taken as a capitulation by the haters and even by the artists. "I don’t have to deal with Koe Wetzel fans calling me a rat anymore," Murph said. When fans go low, they go high, I guess. [6]

Nortey Dowuona: amy allen miss challenge - failed [7]

Ian Mathers: I'm sorry, I'm just too hung up on the way that none of the songwriters here appear to have any idea what "the high road" means, idiomatically. Or if it's supposed to be ironic/sarcastic, someone forgot to tell the performers. [3]

Will Adams: I enjoy the joke: dude claims to be taking the high road but is in fact just drowning his sorrows in bourbon. But neither Wetzel nor Murph lean into the humor enough, playing it dead serious and dead boring. There's really nothing else besides those distracting flat notes. [5]

Alfred Soto: The rake at my karaoke bar who brings a different young woman every visit loves singing "Drinkin' Problem" and other solid contemporary country. I can see him singing the male part here, down to the self-effacing manner in which he'll run his fingers through his wan mullet. "I don't need a ticket to your shit show" is not a thing the gentlemen he poses as would say, though. [7]

Jonathan Bradley: Whatever his outlaw inclinations, Koe Wetzel has a whole lotta nothing to say and no good way to say it. I don't mind country mining alt rock for inspiration, because alt rock has soundtracked the boonies for the past couple decades; there's no point pretending this is an artificial -- or novel -- intrusion. But if a country artist is going to sell me Staind crossed with Daughtry, I'd like some narrative, some feeling, something more than weed references to tell me why their particular story is worth heeding. Jessie Murph, to her credit, has some vocal fry and she extracts a lot of personality from that creaky voice. She doesn't have any more material to work with than Wetzel, so all that personality is left to sit and stew but, for the duration of her verse, "High Road" finds an extra dimension. [4]

Taylor Alatorre: That watery early 2000s guitar tone as homing beacon for the kind of subterranean post-industrial sickness that can only be properly transcribed at a 6th-grade level -- otherwise known as the key signature of Madden NFL 2003 -- still has its disciples. Koe Wetzel uses it here only as a garnish, not wanting to disturb his staid country duet in which, surprise, both sides are at fault and the title infrastructure doesn't actually exist. I wish he had gone with his instincts and let the post-grunge infection spread a little more, at least to give Jessie Murph a stronger platform for her acidic put-downs. [5]

Kristen S. Hé: Wetzel's warm baritone and Murph's Bhad Bhabie-Taryn Manning squawk: oil and water, but probably more memorable for it? [4]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Post Malone and Morgan Wallen have more chemistry than this. These two have taken a perfectly good emo revival guitar tone and done some slam poetry bullshit over it, junking the track up with mixed metaphors and remedial melodrama.  [3]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[floralkittygambler]

Coming and Going - Some More Vivzie Shit

Before you start, this is an extremely LONG read covering this account, my views of Viv, my content and my relationships within this Godforsaken fandom. This is my most up to date thoughts in 2023 on everything. This is something I feel necessary for me to do.

Contents (in no particular order):

Current Situation

Relationships in the fandom

Why I started this Blog

Thoughts on Viv/co and how they've changed since m previous posts

the fans

future thoughts and moving on

accountability

If any of this interests you, read ahead. Titles will be provided for easier following.

Why I started this blog

Originally this was a blog like any other; art, reblogs n shit. As I grew more into a Viv fan, I started posting fanart and follow blogs on her work. The more I learned the more I hated, and thus I began to become a critic. I was pissed off at viv wasting her potential, and eventually I became just as toxic and shitty as both her hardcore haters and majority of her fans. Some takes were good, some bad, either way I got too involved, too absorbed and let it consume me. Stupidly getting into conflicts, stuff like that. And I became a hardcore hater. I vocalised it. My initial aims long lost. Then I disappeared.

Vivzie, co, all that

I went from adoration to disgust of this lot. Now though, whilst I deeply dislike Viv and her crew, deeply dislike majority of the fans, I just feel... Gross. Hollow. Exhausted. I have a lot to say on Viv and my previous takes but truthfully I am too lazy and too tired and ultimately have better shit to do than go through every little thing right *now*. But I do want to at least cover a few here to do some justice, I guess.

So to skim through a few. Lets go.

Viv tracing. Honestly, tracing is a useful skill but it's bad when you trace another's work, don't credit and claim it as your own. This includes modified tracing (starting with a trace then stylising over it to make it more your style). Having nazi, nonce, etc characters I think people take extreme. These sorts make excellent "love to hate them" villains. Owning such characters isn't a crime. It's how theyre portrayed and the purpose. The nuance - something to constantly keep in mind. Her romanticism sausage party art is yikes. With her age, maturity, humour, I believe she saw this as some kind of fucked up humour, having enough awareness to understand the taboo to hide this stuff yet I do feel this was a stupid kid doing stupid edgy shit. Does that make it right? No. But I definitely dont think Viv is some nonce or nazi supporter. Later finding out how this profile was discovered makes me equally question morality on all sides. Vivs beastiality nonce artwork with the snake tub, Ive seen private dms to solidify that viv admitted to both owning this piece and that it was supposed to be a joke. Once again, I genuinely dont think shes a nonce BUT she needs to realise that if that character was below 18, she has drawn child prawn (censorship whooo) as well as distributed it via sharing online. That's still something really serious and gross. I get her humour is immature and dark, but theres lines you dont cross. And I dont find that art funny in any ways, it genuinely looks like a perverts wank bank rather than funny. Idk if the lad was one of them shapeshifting animals either but being in a human form in this instance does make the portrayal a beastiality one, due to human presenting. That's not cool. As much as I loathe those who would abuse kids or animals, I dont think this is Viv necessarily. Though I believe in this sense, Viv needs to understand and work with her cats more. She's done a lot of wrong shit but false accusations derail from solid proven issues that need addressing. At the least, Im glad the animal pervs and nonce stuff is gone. Heartbreaking that shit is so often heard of. This is the sort of thing Id laugh at as a kid but now Im grown and look after little ones, it fills me with nothing but sickening horror. Whilst vile vile vile, I havent seen anything concrete to prove or imply Viv supporting/participating in such depravity. And I fucking pray it stays that way.

You have apologised in the past. But the way you did so, the way you spoke about it afterwards and the way you are now proves it was insincere. Something to shut 'haters' up.

Viv, with all your shit, neurodiversity and late maturity, you're still yet to change for the better. The people you hang with are some of the most vile, toxic, narcissistic and shitty people. Yes men. You hire fans who'll do anything to please you, which can open the path to abuse (note: CAN, not a definitive, though in this case...). You equally are still a shitty person still. You're coming apart at the seams. Critique and hate aren't the same, and unfortunately you'll need adaptability and tough skin in this world as people can be very cruel. You lie. You twist like a constrictor. Charm the more susceptible. A very well known kissarse of yours on twitter who was quite the bully was followed by yourself, liked tweets then hired. They arent the only one either. Whilst you cannot be responsible for every single fans every single action, their are responsibilities you hold. Dont like tweets that encourage hate, dont reward negative behaviours, check your own public actions and how they may influence (act like a prick and those who admire you will mimic). Behind the scenes, treat people right. Dont play favourites. Always have integrity. Learn to incorporate critiques as well as filter out legitimate hate. I know it's not easy, but it's necessary to survive.

Viv, I can wholeheartedly empathise with receiving harsh hate early on in life and online. I know how that can taint and stunt the mind. But the thing is, you have to eventually break from that. BE responsible. Grow. Ive been toxic before. That's partially why I fixate on some of this. Equally Im angry. You ARE a VERY talented artist with potential. A shitty writer, do work on that (as well as diverse stories to tell - gain those experiences or listen to those who've been there - esp as you're doing this as a living) but when you're passionate about a piece, you're talented. And when you're not, you do what we all do and dole shite out (btw people thought I was bullying Viv when I said her P5 Alastor piece was bad in comparison to her other works. The proportions were awful, you could tell she just wanted it out the way. A startling lack of soul.) From what I've seen, you crave approval and admiration to compensate from the past cruelty. I can empathise. But that shit isnt healthy. And you block yourself from growth. You cultivate a tainted crop. You poison yourself. You sacrifice integrity and the gruelling work of improvement for the instant gratification of worship from fans by bending to their desires and your own at the cost of quality. What couldve been groundbreaking storytelling and visuals is nothing more than a glorified low-level fanfic. Wasted potential. Something I cant stand. I have been harsh as that same method helped me. In doing so, I disregarded your own humanity. I wish I conducted myself better and though I never encouraged abuse, I'm sorry that my words may have contributed to this shit cycle.

Your staff and many of your fans have... Concerning attributes, such as the fetishing of toxic relationships, blurred boundaries, disregard of boundaries, etc. The stark numbers of such unpleasant people flocking you is extremely worrying.

I do deeply dislike you. I do feel you have ultimately caused your own shit - been there - but I do pity you as well. I wish you'd go the effort to be you. To be less try hard. To allow growth and change, diversity, stop petting hatred. Get a better crowd, esp one willing to actually help you to be better by pointing shit out. To stop mass abusing others. I do dislike you greatly. I wish you would do better but all you've been doing is doubling down on shit. I feel Icarus needs to fly closer to the Sun for change to happen. It feels like the only way you may actually ground yourself and smell the roses. I just wish folk could be better as a whole. Sick of shit like this. Whilst no one is perfect, there's still standards to uphold. Growth to be had. Breach stereotypes and fetishes that dehumanise, work on yourself and your relationships with others. Careful on your humour and learn how to execute humour properly. Glad you're not doing beastiality art though. You cant please everyone and shouldnt have to in order to be admired and popular. Just be better. Also hating kids isnt a personality. I get not everyone cares about them but dont take shit too far. They can be gross and annoying but in the end they're just... Children. Theyre learning and growing. You can only hope they bloom into decent people. Admittedly a kid tripping is pretty funny but there's a limit. If you want to portray a creep, don't do anything that endorses their behaviours. Theyre vile, remember. No kid deserves that. Work on financing too. Medicating via shopping is a dangerous road. Dont bend to social pressures (such as getting wasted because friends do if you dont want to). Vet your staff. Better ethics.

Fandom

And the fans are just... A minority are lovely. I had a HuskerDust fan be respectful of our differences and hope the best for them. But the majority I've encountered or witnessed have been off their fucking heads. Often encouraged by Viv or staff. The staff and fans are now claiming that critics are homophobic racists falsely (which implies certain races, sexualities, identities, etc are absolved of criticism - which is both favouritism and it's own form of bigotry. Hell, it's spitting on the real victims of such crimes over mediocre cartoons and digital lunacy). These same people then insult people for... being cis and straight. Firstly, that's also bigotry and a dick move on identity and invalidation, it's also false in some cases (proving folks just spew shit), it demands special treatment for identities when we're all equal and deserve to be treated with equity, it's also just... Weak. Bigots can fuck off BUT many critiques have been about inconsistency in plots, writing and design issues, etc. Nothing pertaining identity.

Fans have been hypocritical like their idol. We're all hypocritical to an extent. But the madness... Ok, Blitzo uses retard (note: neurodivergant and have right to say that word, even then it also means delay "fire retardant" as well as where I live it's not nearly as bad as another term used yet is still fine in the US.) I think this isn't an issue as it can show things or speech patterns of the character. Then fans have falsely accused critics of ableism who either havent used the word, quoting this or even have right to say it yet coddle this fictional character. This was referenced in a recent episode with Blitzo about to call another character (rumours are this nurse is autistic but I do NOT have full confirmation. Pinch of salt!) retard before retracting it as it being unacceptable to say. Blitzo really wouldnt give a shit. Likewise I feel this is one of those permanant grey areas in fiction; is it? Isnt it? in terms of using terms. Of Mice and Men used slurs against black folk, that was to reflect that time and the character's mentalities. Not an author's mirror. Likewise, it wasn't used as humour either. Coming from ONE ND, I couldn't care. I feel this is hyperfocused on over more glaring issues, as well as a benefit of the doubt (being character mindset and possibly not author projection). Feel free to have your own opinions, and I only speak for myself there. I can empathise with those who may feel more sensitive to the word (which is why Im more careful in it's use) but as someone who is also technically affected, I just... Personally dont feel too bothered. Likewise, I'm learning to hold more human compassion and flexibility to error and human flaws rather than perfect standards (again, this wont justify or absolve. And more serious things like an assault doesnt apply. It's daft this needs clarifying, it should be the bare minimal). Not everyone will agree on everything, but there's just some lines that should be a standard. I think the staff and fans overall conduct themselves immaturely, cruelly, and cause harm.

I regret in engaging in some arguments. Not worth it. I think I shouldve been more compassionate to difference yet equally not been so volatile with harassment. HunterGirl's HD discord hate on me is... Something I shouldn't have fed. Hate me, that's fine. But the fact someone so close to Viv allowed the harassment is disappointing and shitty. Bitch behind the scenes but dont go out at people. Likewise behind the scenes talk, dont threaten folk either *Viv* (at one of your ex-staff). Call someone the biggest wanker you know but there are limits you dont cross. As with Viv and co, I once hoped for improvement but I just lack faith in that now and I'd just rather stay away from it all. Too much toxicity I've allowed myself to bathe in and hatred and venom only burns. Only burns more of the same product. It's not worth it. Don't even have the skills or assets to do any good from this either. If I can't help, itd be best to support those who can help whilst staying away from the vitriol. Stick to the facts and my own integrity. It's tiring to be involved in all... this. Again, I can only speak on myself hence why I'm only saying me shit. Any vents can be done to friends but otherwise none of this has resulted in any good. And I contributed to cruelty as well. It aint right.

Friendships

Bit more personal and past. Ive made many nice friends. Friends Im still friends with now, and I thank them. With certain issues arising, theyve been the anchors to ground and account me. Real friends. Friends that deserve to be shown more how appreciated they really are. Thank you. They have guided me into better awareness and accountability. We have our own little group now for art, gaming and hopefully any other group activities. Friend stuff. We'll rant, we'll vent, but we're actually doing friend shit now. Ive hyperfixated enough on negatives. Dragged others into an abyss with me. Its not fair for them.

There is a friend here, I think they dont see my stuff anymore idk. I was warned about them. Through all Ive seen and my experiences, I wish you to get help. Get off tumblr. Get off twitter. Both can be extremely toxic as well as cultivate toxicity. Be accountable. Get help. And focus on you. I still worry for you, though I am disgusted on some of your actions. Treat the living with respect. Learn that people will try to bait you. Let go of paranoia (not easy), confront your past and grow. And please... Dont lie. Dont lie about events that occur as you're creating your own misery. Learn to step back and not be so forceful and preachy. Been there, it's not a good place. Experience a diverse crowd on a human level. And please spend some time away from the internet. People really can be pricks sometimes. Even ourselves. You're also pretty hair trigger and tempered. A bit like me sometimes LOL. Learn to balance that. Trust me.

To mates on here who Ive only spoken to here, if you'd still like to be mates, I can link you our group if you're up for group art and gaming or activities, or to another social media account to chat.

To unanswered asks, I'll try but not promise to address them. Those which ended up deleted, I can only remember the one question sorry. And the answer is Sitri. Sitri would be a good HB replacement for Stolas, he's quite the love/lust expert and a focus on men. Fun chap! I had more for this answer but again, cant be arsed with this shit anymore. Sorry.

I joined a spindle critique group. What I learned is the union from bitterness isnt solid grounds for friendship. I wont go into details as it's a private and resolved matter. I shared the full log to current friends to have a neutral and raw take. These are friends I can trust will yank my chain if Im in the wrong. And they did. They spoke of the wrongs on both sides. These are folks who are guiding me to better. Folks I have trusted with the full log, full transparency. I appreciate you both and take your words into stride daily. To old friends, I would rather friends make their own choices. I never hated you, but was hurt on this other side of you. Likewise Im sorry to make you feel that way. Im sorry to have trauma dumped (recently discovered this term, and using it to manage myself better.) There was only one individual that I was given uneasy vibes on and made that clear from the start. I tried with them. For awhile, I even started to see them as a genuine friend. In the end, we were too clashing. We didn't mesh well. My initial feeling on the situation ultimately felt true. But when I open up about home issues and emotions, I dont want them weaponised. Especially as Ive been doing some irl work to find many holes in my perspective as well as others hard work in being involved with me. Things are different now. Never felt it needed in convo, I was too fixed on my own hurt. Home was self preservation at those times. I regret opening up over some personal issues. None of this absolves me of poorly handling situations and anger issues. Near the end, I felt more wary to be more open on certain things. But I shouldve been a better friend. I never liked how catty things got. Trolled. We all just became knobs in one way or another.

My ask to remove my triggers was me hoping to do good for you. Remove a trigger that would inevitably end up being a large part of the group sooner or later, maybe this summer. Especially as I 'lacked empathy'. I thought I was doing good. I never lied about it, and feel bitter that was twisted. If I explained something, I was wrong. Kept it brief, I was bitchy. I was willing to endure a trigger if it made things easier in the group, and the situation was more than a stupid ship. Ive had triggers Ive adapted to handle better now. And public, you are not entitled to my medical history however we're in an age where youre both valid and entitled to privacy yet must breach privacy to have a voice. I have an ED. A certain word wasn't even allowed in my presence without panic and flashbacks. I was a little girl then. And I managed to slowly ease the trigger word via gradual exposure - a replacement word, spelling the word, and eventually hearing the word. It - and what it has done to me - will always scar me. But I learned to handle it better in my own time. I dont need lecturing on how triggers work. Especially when each case is unique, each 'cure' is personalised. If you want to believe Im full of shit then... Do that. Im sorry for being a shitty friend at times and Im working on that, but outside opinions (note: these are done in private spaces so all parties are anon) have noted flaw on your end too. We all fucked up. The two things below the belt were the trigger claims (hence my example of my own experiences with another trigger) and my private issues shared in confidant are the two things I remain disgusted by. That doesnt justify my frustrations, dumping or behaviour. And my example is not a pity ploy either. We're separate now, and it's best that way.

Overall, being here, in this community and fandom, has done nothing but shit. Fuelled the worst in me and others (from what ive seen in public fandom spaces). I may do art and other creative endevours on spindle, but otherwise good riddance. Even if the purge is painful.

Another friend. Im in their group too. One to improve some creative skills. Appreciate being let in there, though I'll probably mainly lurk for tips. Thank you for allowing me to do so. Wording is honestly growing harder for me each day. It's helping me start the path of better expression.

Current and future

I word shit less. Not here, as this is long overdue. But trying to sum up more efficiently. Spending more time irl to improve myself and my life. Welcoming friends who we both can hold each other accountable and support. Focusing more on stuff to improve as well as enjoy. The world is so dismal. So I spend time doing other stuff. Im already mopey enough. Sorting things to refine and focus on enjoyments. Gaining skills to help others. Experienced some personal griefs/losses. And Im learning that people arent entitled to everything. Not quite there yet but Im learning. Im often in deep pain, so cant always do what I want to get done in a day.

Most likely, I will discontinue this. Besides others have been doing a brilliant job. Dont absorb yourself. You can control much of what you get exposed to, so what you can control, make it good! Have integrity, work on yourselves. Try not to be a dickhead but acknowledge where you are a dickhead and work on that. Balance is key to a healthy mind, take the good with the not so good. Take the time to simply sit outside and observe. Appreciate life. Similarities and differences. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. But have your standards. Learn. Grow.

Im in a lot of pain and have shit to do. Take care. I feel Viv, co, fans will only learn with drastics, haters need to learn empathy (haters as in stalker level folk), old friends Im sorry to hurt and equally feel hurt by. Best we've gone separate ways and moving on. Current friends I appreciate. That one person, please... PLEASE get help. Youre young, man- This shit is going to poison your very core. Make you into something shitty and cruel. And please treat animals with care. Me, still a twat but trying. Embrace truth, compassion and fairness with a firm angle. Or just avoid nasty shit.

Well, cya. Stay well. We're not going to be here forever.