Jon was definitely a terrible handwriting kid who would look at the other kids and wonder when his handwriting would magically be neat like theirs and Martin was a round neat little letters, first to get his pen license kid
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imagine: you get your memories back after years of amnesia to find out your whole species is dead and earth doesn’t exist anymore. that the only thing left of your culture is your weird ex and his busted honda civic that barely even works that he stole from the government when he was 13. And he’s been taking members of an alien species for trips in his honda civic and they’re all like “woah it’s so cool” and you get upset because it’s NOT COOL it’s a honda civic, the turn signals don’t even work “wow it can go up hills” yeah OF COURSE IT CAN GO UP HILLS EVERY CAR COULD DO THAT. but they’ve never seen a car before so everything it does is the coolest thing ever. And your ex’s only tool is a fucking screwdriver which is somehow also cool to this dumbass alien species even though it’s a fucking screwdriver so you just look like an idiot screaming about how none of this is even cool it’s actually really shitty but your whole planet is gone so you can’t even prove it but also you’ve had a constant drumming sounding in your head since you were 10 slowly driving you insane. I would become evil too.
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father’s day is funny in my family because my dad is so angry this holiday exists that it’s the one day of the year i am NOT allowed to call him. we are officially estranged for 24 hours a year. wishing him a happy father’s day is a declaration of hostilities.
and like he is a good dad with a good dad, there’s no traumatic backstory to this, he just hates The Man telling him what to do so much that it’s a personal affront that someone decided that anyone is supposed to feel a thing on a specific day or, god forbid, spend their hard earned dollars because shaving commercials tell them to. if a dad did his job right (be a good father who unconditionally loves his kids), his kids should love him 364 days a year but FUCK the 365th day to spite hallmark and gillette specifically and you know what. i respect it.
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it fucking breaks my heart hearing käärijä go "...but i wasn't the best :(" when he literally scored the second most points EVER in eurovision public vote, second only to ukraine in 2022, like sweetie NO LISTEN, you WERE the best actually
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I like to think that there is a tiny piece of Kevin that will always resent Neil for stealing his front seat privileges is Andrew’s car
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the og image this was based on was posted by the lovely @mollymaukcoffeebeans! go check them out :D
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Ok what if…
what if the demons thought that lbh’s a husband snatcher?
listen ok so I’m pretty sure the demons know that LBH’s keeping a dead body in his room BUT they also know that the war god is fighting for said body right?
now I find it funny if they think that LBH just took LQG’s dead husband and the war god is trying to get him back.
there are opposing sides to this one on LQG’s (‘he literally stole the dead body of his husband!) vs LBH’s (‘ maybe THE WAR GOD killed his husband how could you know?!’)
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Tim comes out to the world by posting a picture of Bernard on his insta tagged #boyfriend that immediately goes viral, but not because of the reasons Tim thought about, but because is such a good picture of Bernard every single comment is asking for his @
Tim regrets everything.
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