#and he was just shaking his head vicariously to the point that i had to turn to Eddie for him to explain it to me

[lover-of-mine]

I think it's funny when I'm writing for buddie that the tiny Eddie in my head likes to tell me feelings and the tiny Buck in my head likes to tell me situations. Sometimes tiny Eddie won't give a single line of dialogue. Or even setting. Sometimes he's just floating in a void because he won't even tell me where he is. Buck on the other hand, hates to tell me how he's feeling. I had to switch povs before because he won't tell me and I need the scene so I needed to ask tiny Eddie. But sometimes tiny Buck won't shut up, I don't know how we got here, what triggered this confession, or revelation, all I know is that he's in front of tiny Eddie and he wants to say things. I have no control over them. They just do what they want and I'm along for the ride.

[loveinhawkins]

Steve heads outside at about 10pm, hoping that the frigid night air will wake him up a bit. He’s conscious of the fact that he’s hardly been in the party spirit, trying and failing to stifle a yawn behind the lone bottle of beer he’d sipped at before abandoning it on Robin’s kitchen counter.

It’s less a New Year’s Eve party, he thinks, and more a relieved exhale. An I’m glad we’re all here kind of party.

There’s a swing bench out on the porch, and once he sits down, he kicks the whole thing back with his feet, the movement sending more fresh air his way. It turns his forearms to gooseflesh but does little to banish the drowsiness, as if it’s somehow been waiting all year to be felt…

“Hey,” comes a voice, and Steve startles back to awareness; Eddie is suddenly sitting down beside him. “Thought you’d absconded, Harrington.”

Steve smiles at the word—“You talk like you’re in a book, dude,” he’d teased earlier that evening, when Eddie and Robin were taking exaggerated swills of boxed wine, pretending to be sommeliers. Eddie had adopted a plummy accent, went on about “heady aromas” and “full bodied complexity” until Robin snorted wine out of her nose.

“Ah, Steve, Steve, Steve,” Eddie had said in delight, “that’s part of the fun, darling.”

And it was still delivered in that stupid accent, all part of the game, but it didn’t stop Steve from feeling a glow in his chest that had little to do with the wine they ‘sampled.’

Now Eddie’s voice is back to normal, if a little softer than usual, like he doesn’t want to disturb the stillness out here. “Thought I was gonna have to look for a glass slipper or something,” he goes on, and it takes a moment for Steve, lulled by the gentle cadence of Eddie’s words, to get the reference.

When he does, he snorts. “Bit early for that. But at this rate…” And he yawns again as he speaks, aiming for a self-deprecating shrug. “At this rate, I’m sorta doubting I’ll make it ‘til midnight.”

He’s expecting Eddie to lean into the teasing, call him ancient. But instead he just looks over with a fond smile and says, “I’m not surprised, man.”

Steve scoffs. “It’s not like I’ve really done anything.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Steve gives another shrug. “It’s the holidays, dude, not exactly taxing.”

“Nah, that’s not…” Eddie shakes his head slightly. “You can’t see it, huh?”

“Can’t see what?”

There’s a moment where Eddie just considers him. “Steve Harrington,” he drawls, almost like it’s a little song, like Steve is the one who’s a character in a book. Like he’s someone admirable. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you, like, stop even once. And at first I thought…” He tilts a little closer on the swing, making it creak. “Like, ‘oh, that’s just how he is when the world’s ending’, right? But no. You’re like that all the damn time.”

Steve is far too tired to work out what ‘like that’ even means. He chuckles quietly, rubs at one of his eyes. “And, what, I can’t even keep going to see in the new year?”

“Eh, time’s a construct.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Steve says with absolutely no bite to it. “Midnight countdown is the one time when it matters.”

“Well.” Eddie nods his head as if to say fair point. “We could time travel.”

Steve smirks. “Oh, yeah? You park the DeLorean somewhere?”

Eddie grins. “Nope. It’s—” He stops, smile fading just at the corners, like he’s suddenly a little shy. “Okay, it’s kinda stupid. Like a family thing, I guess.”

“Lucky for you that I like stupid,” Steve says lightly—doesn’t really know how to say that he secretly loves hearing about quirky family traditions, sometimes feels like he can live vicariously through them.

(The last New Year’s Eve he’d spent with his parents had been in New York, and when they were getting a cab back to the hotel, his mom had said that he couldn’t fall asleep because they were sharing the ride with some business partners; it would be embarrassing. He’d spent the journey pressing his forehead against the cold condensation on the car window, fighting sleep.)

“So,” Eddie says, “every year since I was, like,” he gestures with his hand comically low, nearly touching the ground, “Wayne always let me stay up for New Year’s, and it blew my tiny mind ‘cause I was never tired. At all. And then, I think I was, what, ten…? Something like that. And I figured it out.”

“What?”

Eddie leans forward conspiratorially. “Sneaky bastard wound all the clocks forward.”

Steve laughs and laughs. “I love your uncle.”

Eddie rolls his eyes but he’s smiling. “Yeah, yeah, he’s something else.” Then he softens. “We did it tonight, before I came here. Early midnight countdown.”

And there’s a weight to that, like Eddie can hardly believe that he got to be there, to see the tradition continue.

Then Eddie blinks, and the heaviness is gone. “How about it, Harrington?” He pushes back his shirt to reveal his wristwatch. “Wanna try it?”

Steve smiles. “Sure.”

And he watches as Eddie fiddles with the watch until it reads as being a minute before midnight; and it’s silly, he knows they're not really time travelling, but he can’t help feeling that there’s some magic involved anyway. Like there’s suddenly a little pocket of the world that’s just their own.

They count down from 10, and then Eddie does a hushed imitation of fireworks going off, which makes Steve laugh again.

“Hey, Eddie,” he says. “Happy New Year.”

And suddenly it sounds like more than that—sounds like we made it and we’re safe.

Maybe Eddie hears all that, too, because there’s a sheen to his eyes that can’t entirely be blamed on the Christmas lights. “Yeah. Happy New Year, Steve.”

They stay put in comfortable silence. Eddie starts to rock the swing slowly with one foot, back and forth, and Steve knows that he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it—probably is hearing a song in his head that he can’t help but follow the rhythm.

And at some point Steve finds that he’s catching himself on the brink of dozing, then pulling back. His eyelids keep…

The softest laugh, somewhere very close. “Oh, Steve,” Eddie sighs, and Steve can hear him smiling, can hear the fondness shining through. “There you go, big guy.”

And his head is tilting down, down onto Eddie’s warm shoulder.

“Glad you’re here,” Steve just about manages to say.

Through a dreamy haze, he feels a hand brush across his forehead; an arm around him, so he doesn’t fall. “Ah, sweetheart. So glad you’re here, too, you’ve got no idea.”

And then he’s melting into sleep, right through the gentlest turning of the page from one year into the next.

[britney-rosberg06]

I need like cuddle related headcanons of the Williams fam bc I am living vicariously through them rn

cuddle headcanons coming right up

most of these feature Logan cause he yearns for physical contact

The most common place to find Logan and Alex on long flights are layed down next to each other on the couch

^ this is very much the vibe

simply do to height difference Logan is always the one who’s head rests on the shoulder/chest

Something Alex will not hesitate to complain about

Apparently Logan’s head is “bony” and not comfortable

A large part of James camera roll is the two sprawled on top of each other sound asleep

It takes a while for Logan to feel comfortable enough around James to cuddle with him

But of course, after Qatar, all that went out the window

He had lacked parental affection for so long that once the seal broke there was no going back

When he and Alex have meetings with James, he’ll lay down James’s office couch with his head on his lap.

James’ll card his fingers through his hair throughout the meeting, though sometimes he has to shake him to wake him up

Alex and James don’t really have a very cuddly relationship, but if he is up to late trust Alex is curling into a ball and leaning into James until he puts an arm around him so he can relax

Not really cuddle hc but Casual Touch is something that is So Important to them

Whether is Logan slinging his arm across Alex’s shoulder and walking through the paddock

Or James resting his hand on Logan’s cheek they are very rarely far from a loving touch

James will something kiss the top of their head just very quickly

Especially whenever they hug

It would be weird, for James not to kiss their forehead of head after giving them a hug at this point.

Logan is Very Sleepy all the time and this results in a Sleeping Logan that Alex and James must deal with.

Most of the time they’ll pull him off his sleeping spot and take him to the hotel

After which Alex will crawl into bed with him, and take advantage of his sleepy teammate by being the one to lean into him rather than the other way around.

James will hold them both, especially if they’re not feeling well and rub their backs while whispering soothing words.

Theyre just so

Ugh i love them

[mikiafina]

“VICARIOUS EMBARRASSMENT”

Message:

I do not own the characters mentioned in story below, I had this idea earlier and thought that it might be fun to imagine if it would really happen.

The reader's pronouns in this oneshot are not mentioned, but female reader is on mind while writing. Do point out my typos if you ever noticed one!

My apologies if this was too short, ‘m not really fan of writing in a long amount of time.

P.S: Read the mentioned stories made by kunichigo first before reading this.

Note:

CRITICISM ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED! IF YOU NOTICED ANY ERRORS IN MY WORK, FEEL FREE TO POINT IT OUT SO I COULD FIX IT!

——————————

I DO NOT POST IN ANY OTHER PLATFORMS EXCEPT HERE ON TUMBLR!

Trigger Warning:

Ooc, grammatical errors, misspellings, typos, possibly curse words, suggestive content (sort of), mature-ish content (is that even a word?), Informal use of language

SUGGESTIVE THEMES ARE GONNA BE MENTIONED SO BE WARNED!

Synopsis:

After reading a oneshot-series of Genshin SAGAU made by one of your adored author, you felt a sudden desire to see your babies, husbandos and waifus. As soon as you logged in, you arrived at the entrance of mondstadt as you greeted your beloved babies and husbandos.

While doing your daily commissions, the topic that your sister were talking about went from another game named ‘Roblox’ to the story that you have previously read. And without your knowledge, my oh my. Your beloved acolytes are seemed to be listening with your conversation, oh sheeshhh.

What a disaster.

Genshin Characters x Reader

Dedicated to & Inspired by:

My favourite and underrated author, Kunichigo!

“[N/n] let's play roblox, I'll let you borrow mama's phone later for you to be able to read, for now play roblox with me.” Your sister tries to persuade you, even going to the lengths of letting your borrow the phone later as a bargain just to quote o' quote, play with her.

"Hm.. Alright, but make sure to let me borrow mama's phone. Or else.." You reluctantly opened the second computer as you placed your mother's phone on the side, while waiting for the desktop to load, you engaged in a conversation with your sister on what games to play.

"We can play Evade or Shoot out if you want, we can also play the games you play, uhh.. Arsenal? Was it?" Your sister habitually tilt her head in an insure manner, you hummed in confirmation at her question.

Despite the talk that you and your sister had made, you both weren't able to play roblox because you noticed the time and remembered that you have yet to finish your commissions and quests. So after setting up your recording software and opening up your preferred browser (Opera GX y'all), you launched Genshin and waited for it to finish loading.

"Oh by the way, have you read kunichigo's latest post? It was so good and underrated, like damn." Your sister squealed in delights as she proceeds on controlling her chosen character, Zhongli.

"Ah, you mean 'Cherry Red Lips?' and 'Terrible, Terrible.' if you mean those two, I did. But on the 'Cherry Red Lips?', she said she's inexperienced with those types but she narrated it sooo good! Like the way Kaeya shamelessly raised his voice to let everyone outside their beloved creator's chamber know that he's being pleasured by her is soooo— Aghhhh! It's so juicy! Like imagine if Aether really is withering and shaking underneath us while we suck on their blood? DAMN! I'd kill to see such sight under me! And don't get me started about Kaeya, that man is a walking menace! But that's one of his hot traits! Like— like just imagineee!" You fangirled while controlling Razor, running and teleporting around mondstadt doing commisions.

"Right?! It's just ashame that the author didn't make a detailed scene about Diluc withering and panting under his beloved creator's touch! But Lisa's scene was so lit, despite being written so short. But man, Aether's really well narrated, the author made it clear that he's a babygirl." Your sister added, fangirling as much as you do. The both of you continued on squealing as you played Genshin together, having fun and making it clear that whatever is the "story" you two were talking about, is what made your day better.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, the oh so said characters are listening to your conversations. My oh my, what in teyvat did they just listen on to?

In the land of teyvat, Zhongli cannot believe what just reached his ears. Did he hear it right, are their ears working right? Did they hear it correct?

Much to Diluc's dismay, the conversation about the story that you both read did not end with just Kaeya and Aether being mentioned cause it seems like he was too, in the story. The mentioned characters can't help but feel blood rushing to their face, ears and neck due to either embarrassment or whatever human emotion you are supposed to feel in such situation, even those who weren't mentioned were flustered at the topic of their creators, despite this, they aren't sure whether to pity the others or to get jealous cause they're the topics of the beloved creators, nonetheless, they still feel the second-hand embarrassment for the others.

Meanwhile back in the Serenitea Pot, Xiao, Tighnari and Ayato looked at Diluc who's face is crimson as his hair, attempting to have the floor of the abode swallow him alive. He doesn't know whether to be thankful for kuni- or whoever the author of the story is for not writing a detailed scenario of him or he'll probably ask the Geo Archon to have the floor swallow him on the spot.

Kaeya who's sitting just right beside Diluc, laughed at his semi-miserable state, and honestly speaking, Kaeya is tad bit embarrassed but he'd be lying if he said that he denied that he's proud of how the author wrote him. Chongyun who has been silent for the whole time, almost choked on his ice cream if it weren't for Heizou and Thoma helping him unclog the small piece of popsicle on his esophagus.

Zhongli, who's being possessed by one of the creator and who's listening on the conversation from the very beginning, did not know how to react. Razor, who's beside the Geo Archon is quite confuse and worried, was the traveler, cavalry captain and librarian of knights of favonius sick or in pain? Poor boy doesn't really understand his creator and their sister is talking about, if the said people are sick then why are his beloved creator, squealing? Is there something he's missing?

Needless to say, it was an eventful day for both the vision holders and the creators. The boys are just thanking the archons that the girls aren't in presence and are having a peaceful picnic somewhere in Sumeru, or else they wouldn't be able to handle the embarrassment, much less, face nor confront them.

® mikiafina

[rainbow-femme]

So obviously I love just how much LGBTQ+ media exists now, and how much media has LGBTQ+ characters in it, but something Gen Z and later generations will never experience is being so desperate for anything that you end up finding the weirdest gay indie movies imaginable, watching them once at 2 am and then never seeing them again, and being haunted by the half remembered plots because you cannot for the life of you track them down again

So I would like to give you that experience vicariously through two of the ones I watched over a decade ago. If you recognize these please let me know I would love to track them down

The first was about this French gay dude in America who was marrying a lesbian friend to get a green card, and his boyfriend is like

“Hey babe my sibling is coming to town and going to stay with us.”

And the French guy goes “That seems like a bad idea, on account of you telling me that every time they come into town they become super toxic and make you the worst version of yourself and ruin your life.”

And the boyfriend is like “Ok but what are the odds that would happen again.”

The sibling I’m going to use they/them for because in an example of wonderful handling of trans characters, this person continually changes their mind about their gender, which is fine, except they keep managing to get full sex change surgeries every time it happens which is absolutely wild to me because it’s implied they have fully transitioned multiple times. They come into town having had a full MTF transition to the point of both top and bottom surgery and hormones but they’ve decided they’re a man again so they want a place to crash while they have a full FTM transition and I feel like I vividly remember them saying something about finding a doctor who can make them a pair of testicles. Like, specifically testicles was what they brought up, no other bits, this doctor apparently only made and attached artificial testicles and this character decided to start there

So naturally they start isolating the boyfriend from everyone by convincing him that everyone is out to get him and his French boyfriend sucks and is holding him back to the point that the boyfriend I’m pretty sure starts physically abusing the French guy along with other emotional abuse

And the story culminates in the two of them tipping off immigration about the green card marriage and literally get this dude deported, like he is handcuffed and put into a car and taken away, and also probably screwing over the lesbian friend who had agreed to marry him after the boyfriend had asked her to do it to help them

And as the car is driving away the boyfriend looks at the sibling and gives a “Nuh uh, I’m done with you” head shake and starts chasing after the car the French dude is in only to be hit by a different car and presumably killed

And that’s it, that’s the movie

The second is probably my favorite half remembered middle of the night gay movie

It’s about two lesbian friends who seem to be trying out dating each other to see if the relationship would work, and they end up meeting a group of BDSM lesbians who go ��Uh, didn’t anyone tell you that lesbians don’t do monogamy anymore? We’re all polyamorous and have BDSM subculture personalities that we live in 24/7, that’s the only way to be a lesbian”

(Side note I don’t think this movie is actually bad about BDSM or polyamory stuff, it’s more about how people just coming out can easily get sucked into doing what they think they should and end up unhappy and over their heads in order to fit what a “real [X] person” looks or acts like. The characters who legitimately enjoy the lifestyle seem to be written in a good way based off my 10+ year old memory of my single viewing)

So the two lesbians decide that one is going to full time be a Daddy personality and the other will be a Little Girl personality, and they can sleep with whoever they want except the Daddy one can’t sleep with a different Little Girl or vice versa because that’s cheating

And this movie was so good because these two had 100% no knowledge of what they were actually supposed to do in BDSM situations and just kept acting like they did and the people in the scenes were like “… Ok, I guess I’ll trust you’re going somewhere with this?” and they never were, they were always just stalling for time

The best example is when the Little Girl one met a butch sub who was a Little Boy, I guess, and she wanted to do a three way with the Little Boy and the Daddy, and again they take things pretty literally so in the scene they’re like “ok you’re my dad and this is my son so that means you’re his grandpa.” And the Daddy one again has no idea what to do when genuinely faced with an experienced sub so she goes “Um, let’s make him sit in a box?” so they get a comically small box and make the sub squat down in it but again they have no idea what to do next and it culminates in the Little Girl saying she’s being drawn between the Daddy one she had been into before all of this and the Little Boy one she just met which pisses off the Daddy one so she leaves, fully confusing the Little Boy sub who thought that was all part of the scene

And then the Daddy one decides if the other is gonna have a new person she will too and she finds a super experienced femme domme and tries to flirt by pretending to be a dog and bringing her something in her mouth and the femme domme is just like “Ok A. I know you’re not actually into this so I’m not going to do anything to you because you wouldn’t like it, but also B. Even if you were I am so far above your experience level you would not be able to take it. So WTF is your problem cut it out.”

And there’s like a BDSM spin the bottle where you kiss or smack or lick the boot of whoever you land on and the Daddy one kisses a different Little Girl which pisses of the original Little Girl so she storms off so the Daddy One fully sleeps with the second one, and then gets in a fight with the original one over how one cheated because she got with the same archetype as the other but the other also cheated because she actually got feelings for someone else

And somehow they resolve everything and the story ends with them turning this into a performance art piece. You don’t see the actual performance art, probably because the writers wanted them to get wild applause but couldn’t think of a performance art piece based on this that would actually earn wild applause so you just see them being applauded while wearing a bunch of ties and jackets and scarves and stuff to I guess symbolize them trying to be things they weren’t

And then you see the butch sub getting whipped or spanked or something by the femme domme to show that everyone got their happily ever after

Heartstopper is great and all but they just don’t make ‘em like that anymore

[littleliquor]

When Daylight Fades (pt. 3)

Note: Wednesday’s coming in part 5 (posting later so stay tuned)! I figured out how to head into her story over my lunch break. This chapter is going to be a bit of a bonding time. A little lighthearted (or not?) Feel free to leave me a message if you want more :)

Summary: Witch!Reader receives an unexpected visit from her “Coven family” who delivered a word of wisdom that upset her. Tyler opened up about his anger towards his mother’s passing and outcasts. The two bonded over the treatment towards Hydes from the outcasts. 

Warning: 

Part 1   Part 2   Part 4   Part 5  Part 6  Part 7

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No one ever told me what to do when your sunshine in life became darkness. No one ever told me how addictive and how much I’d want it more as the darkness crept over him. Tyler was the light in this life to guide me through the clouds and shadows. But the more the darkness of Hyde became him, somehow I wanted more. I wanted more darkness, more shadows, on him and finally onto me. It felt as if a lifetime of bloodlust that lurked within me had finally gained its vicarious outlet.  

It started off as vengeance, when normies stormed into my village with flaming torches and pitchforks, killing my kins like lambs to their slaughter. So I hunted them down, one by one, until I was strong enough. Then I took their entire village same way they took mine, sparing no souls behind. At one point, I grew weary and fearful of what I had become. But then I began to enjoy it. Each life I took, I took joyously. The scream of the dying made my heart race and my blood boil. 

Until I met Tyler. For the first time in many lives, I remembered the smaller things that brought me so much happiness. Playing make believes in treehouse, skipping rocks by the river side… For once, I wanted to be normal, without the burden and the sickly urge to harm. 

Chatters in the quad were usual in the morning. What was unusual was the unsettling and worrisome atmosphere surrounding it. 

“Y/N!” Bianca waved at me to the fountain. “Where have you been last night?” Her clear blue eyes had concern written all over them. 

“I spent the night at Tyler’s. What’s wrong? Wait, you didn’t tell anyone I wasn’t here, right?” I lowered my voice. 

“Of course not! What kind of friend do you think I am? Haven’t you heard? Some kids were murdered in the woods last night. I thought you were one of them.” She showed me the news on her phone. 

“Can’t say I have heard.” I denied swiftly, frowning at the news content. 

Gruesome Murder of Four Teenagers Found in The Woods. 

“Speaking of, judging from your constant sleepovers, it’s safe to assume that your dates’ been going well?” Bianca’s lips curled up into a sly smirk. “I didn’t even know when you guys started!” 

“It was, dramatic.” I laughed dryly. Whatever happened in the cave wasn’t something you could just share to everyone. 

“Not the type I’d imagined you’d like but I’m happy for you.” Bianca shrugged, giving me a cheeky wink before walking to her class. 

At our herbology class, I couldn’t help but noticed that Thornhill’s eyes kept flowing to my direction, colder and colder with each glare. If I was an innocent teenage girl, her looks could send some proper chills down my spine. Luckily, I was not. 

“I heard you got closer to the sheriff’s son.” Xavier turned around to my desk, whispering in a tone which I could only identified as disappointment. 

“The rumour’s true.” I spun my pen in between my fingers with a carefree attitude, though deep down, I felt apologetic for dating the person who ran with his bullies. “I’m sorry what he and his friends did to you…” 

“No, it’s cool. I just want to… warn you. He’s bad news.” Xavier sighed, shaking his head with a bitter smile. 

“You do realize the more you tell me not to do something, the more I want to do that right?” I joked lightheartedly, hoping to lighten up the atmosphere. 

“I sure do. Just be careful.” He scoffed quietly. 

I went to the Weathervane after the fencing practice. Seemingly it had become a part of my daily routine to sneak off to see Tyler. Weathervane at the late night hour was about as quiet as a graveyard. As I walked through the door, his eyes shot from behind the counter. A big, stupid grin crept onto his face. 

“You’re late today!” Tyler leaned against the counter, beaming with my usual order in his hand. 

“Do you say that to every customer?” I gawked, brushing his hand while picking up the coffee. 

“Only reserved for my special VIP.” 

As I turned around, I noticed a certain familiar figure sitting at my usual booth, one I could never forget, as much as I wished. Draped in her tightly fitted leather jacket and six-inch killer stiletto heels. A wide grin pulled her red lips ear to ear as I reciprocated to her anticipating gaze. I let out a long, somber sigh, sitting down across her. 

“Joy, what are you doing here?” I pursed my lips together in an unconcealed annoyance. 

“Y/N, I’m doing fine. Thanks a lot for asking.” Joy didn’t not find my aloofness to be strange. I didn’t want to see her and she was well-acquainted with my disdain towards most members of the Coven. The idea of “big family” didn’t quite sit well with me. 

“You didn’t come all the way from Europe for small talks, did you?” I crossed my arms in front of my chest, leaning back to the chair. 

“I believe it would be even more torturous to you if my answer was yes. Luckily, no.” Joy swept her hair behind her shoulder, speaking in a volume only we could hear. “I’m here to warn you. I’m worried. I’d seen how hard you’ve tried to steer away from your history. I just don’t want you to repeat it. Being close to a creature of violence and darkness will only derail you from the path you’ve been building.” 

“I already told you, I know what I’m doing. I don’t need your lecture.” I said, stirring my coffe in a swift, clockwise motion. 

“Think about it. Centuries ago, you wouldn’t let yourself be in a crowd of normies without killing at least a few. Right now, you have the power to wipe out this entire town or turn them against one another in the blink of an eye and yet you didn’t. That was more self-control and determination than I’ve ever seen in a lot of witches. I don’t want you to let that all go to waste. I know you don’t believe you need any of us but…” Joy propped her elbows on the table, looking into eyes with a candidness that I didn’t believe. 

“Where were you when I needed saving? When they burnt me on the stake, I called for you. No one came. Now you expect me to believe a word that came out of your snake’s tongue? You have no rights to come up here in the first place.” I narrowed my eyes. In front of her, I could barely hold the rage that burned from the depth of my stomach. A rage that I’d been repressing for longer than I remembered. 

Joy opened her lips for a moment, but then decided against it. She sighed in dejection as she stood up from the seat. 

“Say what you want. If you need me, us, in anyway, you know how to find me.” That was the last words she left before the clacking sound of her heels headed out of Weathervane. 

I placed my palms over my face and took a deep breath to regain my poise. I knew Joy cared about me truly but I would give up the world before I give up on Tyler. I wondered if the path of darkness was the only path I could walk with him by my side, or could things be different. 

The moment my father found out about my abilities, I noticed the way he looked at me changed. I wasn’t the innocent little girl he nurtured, but a creature that sends chills down his spine the more I stayed under his roof. He didn’t desert his responsibilities, of course, no. He merely avoided anything more than that. 

I was left on my own for a very long time, until the Coven recovered me. They took me in like one of their own. Yet, none of their pretentious kindness could repent for their indifference when I called for their help at my demise, last demise. 

As I placed my hands back on the coffee, my eyes were met by a pair of turquoise ones. I jumped slightly out of shock. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I thought I saw you guys arguing over something. You look pretty upset there.” Tyler placed a freshly baked scone in front of me. Even the plate was lukewarm. The chocolate scent was enough to make anyone’s day. 

“It’s just some… family business. She means no harm.” I smiled dryly, poking the pastry with a fork. Tyler’s look softened when I mentioned “no harm”. Part of me was relieved that I didn’t accidentally murdered the Supreme of my own Coven. “Joy is the leader of my Coven. She just dropped by to see if I was doing alright in Nevermore.” 

“Not much of a happy kind of family reunion?” Tyler asked, fingers twitching lightly in a quiet, nervous disposition. 

“In case you haven’t noticed by now, I’m kind of the rebel in the family. Surely even my dad has talked to yours about just how much of a headache I am.” I shrugged. It didn’t bother me much that my troubling nature had been found rather unbecoming by many more around me. Not that I cared enough to change. 

“I might have overheard. Not to me though, you aren’t.” He gleamed comfortingly.

“Then you clearly don’t know me well enough.” I bit down on my lower lip. There were many secrets to a person that should never be uncovered. Some past were too grim to be heard of on this earth again. Tyler’s look lingered on me, searching for a non-existing sign that I was joking around. 

“I don’t want to pressure you. I think, when you’re willing to let me in, you’d be surprised.” He was reluctant to give up on pursuing for the skeletons I kept behind my closet, but my silence and unsettling did seem to worry him. 

“I could say the same about you. You know, therapist aren’t your only outlet. I’m always here if you need me.” My fingers danced along the veins on the back of his hand, expecting him to become defensive and withdrawing just as the first time I visited him after his mother’s wake. The image of him slamming the door with a stone-cold look was burnt in the back of my mind. At time, I stopped talking to him altogether to avoid agitating him further, in hopes that he would be in good hand with his father. However, it didn’t seem to be the case at all. 

Tyler didn’t shy away from my touch or my attempt to opening him up about his mother this time. He turned his wrist up, smoothing over my pulse point.

“I’m angry, had been since she was gone. He… uh, doesn’t want to talk about her at all. And you, you stopped talking to me for some reasons. Somehow, I’ve never felt more… alone.” 

“I thought you needed your peace when I visited after the wake. I’m sorry I didn’t come check up on you sooner.” 

“I did slammed the door… You have every right to keep the distance from me. I should be saying sorry to you. But that’s not what I was angry about.” Tyler shook his head. He was smiling but tears were glistening in his eyes. 

“Then what is it?” 

“You see, a while after she passed. Your teacher came to me, claiming that she knew the true reason why Mom made that decision. Mom used to go to Nevermore, but when she needed their help, they never gave her any help nor guidance. They were all too scared. Ironic, isn’t? Outcasts fearing another outcast. It’s their rejection and isolation that pushed her off the cliff. All her life, she thought that was a place where she belonged and it betrayed her when she needed them most.” As Tyler explained, his expression darkened with a ghastly shadow, cold, angry, almost sadistic. It was a look that I’d never seen on him before, except for the time when he looked at my bullies outside of Weathervane. 

“Fear makes people do things. As far as I know, several Hydes were accepted in Nevermore throughout its long history, until they were banned for being too violent, unpredictable and uncontrollable.” I pursed my lips in disapproval, having known far too well how fear makes the worst in people magnify in the most catastrophic way. “That’s a crock of shit. People fear things that they don’t understand, but they don’t seek ways to understand it.” 

I had gone through some readings about the school’s history for leisure entertainment. The accepting and inspection on the species stopped after a terrible incident inside the school. A whole hall student population was wiped out overnight as a Hyde lost control. They did nothing to help, simply keeping all Hydes out as if they never existed. I’d seen it far too many times. A fate like this often happens between human and outcasts. Luckily, outcasts built themselves a safety haven that was Nevermore. Casted out by outcasts? That was the true tragedy. 

“You think there’s a way to control… it?” Tyler’s eyes shot up to mine, gazing into mine with disbelief. 

“There has to.” I rested my face on my palm, reaffirming with a seething determination.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Vicarious (Part 6)

She has a whole list of rules for him to follow that will make his life in hers as easy as possible while simultaneously adding much more stress. And all that he can give her are a few dietary notes and some blush inducing tips on how to care for a masculine body. Her own feminine care tips aren’t any less awkward. But they certainly needed to get that out of the way, lest they find out on their own.

He skims the parchment again. The lettering is so neat and delicate. So dainty and pretty.

Bathe every day; remember to use my special soap–it smells like coconut and has bamboo leaves in it. If you use the wrong soap and get a rash, talk to Qi-Xing, she has an ointment.

Comb my hair every day; be gentle with it, no snagging.

For the sake of simplicity sea foods are off limits. I can eat some sea foods but am allergic to most. 

Change out of your sleep attire before going out.

Some of it is perfectly reasonable and plenty helpful. He is going to miss seafood, but at least that rule has fair reasoning to back it. Perhaps under ordinary circumstances the rest would be just as fair too. But even before finding his soul trapped in her body he could tell that her death preparations had been her first time bathing in quite some time. Her hair is at least some degree of unkempt. And now she expects him to do the things that she couldn’t be bothered with? 

He tries to be understanding. He knows how hard it can be sometimes. But it is hard when she is placing expectations on him that she couldn’t uphold herself. Things that go against his own nature. 

Don’t laugh or talk too loudly.

Mind your table manners; no loud chewing, no talking with your mouth full, feet don’t belong on the table, wait your turn to take food and seasonings, etc.

Don’t overdo the mochi.

I have a firebending routine once in the morning and once before bed; I have placed some scrolls in my training room that will walk you through my katas. If it is beyond your skills find a suitable substitute. Do not let my body get out of shape.

I require at least eight hours of sleep. 

Frankly he doesn’t know if this is fair either. It feels as though she is demanding that he take better care of her body than she has been lately. And she can’t tell him that she has been taking care of herself, not with the gashes–the one he knew about already and the smaller ones that he has noticed on her arms. She can’t tell him that she has been taking care of herself, not when her body is so fatigued and hard to navigate in. Everything feels so sluggish and weighted. Her limbs feel so tight–cramped with disuse.

How can she demand things of him that she isn’t willing to do herself?

Don’t say anything ridiculous. No stupid jokes. No terrible political opinions.

Do not issue any apologies that I wouldn’t give.

Do not try to arrange any romantic partnerships on my behalf.

And don’t let any know that we have switched. 

She closes the list with those awkward feminine care tips. “Because I know that you’ll probably forget and these are important.” And now he feels bad for not offering her the same. He probably should write up a little something in case he isn’t around to answer questions. She is always so neat, tedious, and organized. He likes to think himself a smart man but the levels and layers she thinks in are nearly incomprehensible. He enjoys logic and reasoning, enjoys figuring out how things work. But he is a forward thinker–simple and to the point while remaining smart and creative. Azula…

She works in layers and complexities. In traps and tricks that he is hard pressed to figure out. 

And now he is supposed to emulate that. He is supposed to become that.

“Any questions?” Azula asks. 

Sokka shakes his head. Other than, “do you really expect me to be able to do all of this.” But he doesn’t dare put that question past his lips. 

“Well then. Where is your list?” 

“I—I didn’t make one.”

To his surprise she only shrugs. “Then you can’t hold me responsible for anything that goes wrong. I requested a written list. If you can’t be bothered with that then…”

“You get to make my life as shitty as yours?” The words erupt from him before he can suppress them. “It’s not enough to sabotage yourself, you have to ruin me too?” The tickle of rage in his belly shifts promptly into a tickle of dread. She can make very easy work of destroying all of his friendships, just the way she had expertly set her own friendships up to fail.

He watches his own face go deadpan. “Just write me a list.” He hadn’t realized just how cold his voice could be. 

“I-I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said that.” 

“List.” 

One word. 

Just one word and he finds himself shuddering. 

He is alone in her room. Alone in a way that he had never been before and with the sense that he is only going to grow lonelier.

.oOo.

She had been hoping that he would have the list ready for her by dinner time. Even a few base rules would have been nice. 

She shouldn’t be so anxious, the humiliation and mistakes will be Sokka’s to face soon enough. It isn’t her own life and reputation on the line so why should she care? Why does she care? Why does it bother her so much that she is so woefully underprepared for this?

Everything is already perfectly in place for her. They already like her. All she has to do is not make a mess of that. It shouldn’t be so hard. 

It shouldn't have been so hard to become the Fire Lord either. Her life had been so perfectly laid out for her then too and she had still ruined that. 

“Hey, Sokka!” Toph greets.

She gives the girl a quick wave and takes her seat. 

“I said hello, Sokka!”

“Oh right. Blind.” She mutters to herself. “I waved to you.”

“You really need to stop forgetting about that.” Toph grumbles.

Azula breathes a soft sigh of relief. At least that sort of carelessness is typical of Sokka but she can’t afford to make any more hiccups like this. They will all pile up eventually.

Eventually but also nowhere near as quickly as something like watching herself emerge from the hallway.  

She grits her teeth. How could he have forgotten that it isn’t at all typical for her to make an appearance at dinner? It is simple, she realizes–she had given him instructions on table manners. She had all but told him that she expected him to join the others for dinner. How had she forgotten to put that on her list of things not to do? It would have been as simple as adding, “keep your head low and don’t draw attention to yourself; I eat breakfast very early, lunch is taken directly to my room, I have dinner an hour after everyone else.”

“Azula?” Zuko’s brows scrunch.

Instinctively she opens her mouth. Mercifully, Sokka speaks first. It is a stiff and simple, “hello, Zuzu.”

She supposes that that isn’t something that she wouldn’t say, although it also wouldn’t be her first choice of greeting. 

“You decided to join us for dinner?”

“Is that a problem?” It is spoken too much like a question for her liking. She would have made it flatter, more pointed. Almost a hiss even. The expression Sokka puts on her face isn’t nearly dark enough. 

“We just didn’t expect you, that’s all.” Aang cuts in with a smile.

And that’s just the thing. She very well shouldn’t be there. Had she had her way they would have had no reason at all to think that she would ever be joining them again. Yet here she is both already seated and taking a seat.

“You should be resting.” Katara says lightly. “Waterbending can fix a lot but you still need to take it easy.”

“Why do you care?” Azula asks as nonchalantly as she possibly can with her mind buzzing and humming with anticipation. Anticipation to get the confirmation she needs; that nobody wants her. Nobody cares what happens to her.

“Sokka!” Katara exclaims. 

“What?” Azula shrugs. “We weren’t talking to her before, why get friendly now? Last I checked, we weren’t supposed to trust her.” 

.oOo.

Sokka’s stomach drops. He had anticipated that Azula wouldn’t do anything to help him shoulder her burdens but he certainly hadn’t expected her to actively partake in making life harder. He supposes that he probably should have guessed as much given the circumstances. 

“He has a point.” Mai shrugs. “I always did hate it when people suddenly started talking really nicely about a horrible person after they died.” 

Sokka takes a breath. She isn’t talking about him. She isn’t talking about him…he just has to keep repeating that and maybe he’ll get through this dinner. Maybe he should retreat back to Azula’s room. But Azula wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t run.  “I’m not dead.”  He replies simply. 

Across the table the real Azula tilts her head. 

Tilts it as if to say that she practically is. 

“We don’t have to get along with her to be civil.” Katara says. “You can sit next to…” She grimaces. The only open seat is the one taken by his body. “Be nice to her, Sokka.” She hears Katara hiss. 

“Yeah, Sokka!” Toph agrees. “I like my food hot, but it doesn’t need to be on fire.” 

Sokka slips into his chair, his head spinning at the sound of his own laughter. He doesn’t know what is more unsettling; that tearing Azula apart sounds so natural on his lips or that she can so easily laugh at a joke made at her expense.

He has plenty of time to think it over and decide. 

They don’t talk to him for the rest of dinner. 

Katara doesn’t talk to Azula either. It is strange, Mai and Zuko aside, Katara had always been the least comfortable with Azula being back at the palace. Back at the palace and mostly free to do as she pleases. Mai and Zuko aside, Sokka was under the impression that Katara hated Azula the most. 

.oOo.

Azula hadn’t been particularly hard pressed to flee the dinner table but she hadn’t exactly wanted to linger. Certainly not long enough for Sokka to catch her alone in the hallway. “Why? Why would you do that!?”

Azula quirks a brow. “Elaborate please.” The words aren’t so dainty and pseudo-sweet coming from Sokka’s lungs.

“You put me on the spot like that? I was trying to help you…I don’t know…” He falters. “Make a connection with all of them.”

“Just trying to stay in character.” She shrugs. 

Fury mixes with astonishment. Azula’s heart catches, it is like watching herself address Mai at the Boiling Rock. Her voice is just as incredulous when Sokka uses it to sputter, “I wouldn’t— Is that the kind of person you think I am? I wouldn’t treat you like that.”

Azula sniffs. “I know that you’re lying.” 

“No you don’t!” He throws his hands up. “Just because you have my body it doesn’t mean that you have my mind too. I wouldn’t treat you like that.” 

“You keep telling yourself that.” She sighs. “That’s the funny thing about you and your friends. You all think that you’re such nice people. That you’re so merciful and good. You pat yourselves on the back for letting the poor crazy princess come back to the palace unbound. The truth is, you did treat me like that.” She pauses. “Think about it, they didn’t suspect a thing.” 

“That’s not true. You’re messing with me again. You’re trying to get into my head and manipulate me. I wouldn’t treat you like that.”

“If you say so.” Azula shrugs. “We’ll see how confident you are in that within a few days.”

[funkyeahdangelo]

an okayplayer review from questlove ca. 2001-2?

D'angelo      Voodoo       (Virgin)                           [five afro pics; described as "- "Mommy Mommy!! That big-ass bear said that he will decapitate the whole family if we don't purchase ten copies of this record for each family member!!!!!!!!" via "Matter in His Own Hand.Welcome, players, to ?uestlove's Record Review Section (where I actually listen to the records more than once!) "]:     ( ok. i know that it's really a conflict of interest for me to review this        record cause this ain't a record where i'm a guest. sure to d, this is        "voodoo". to me? this is called "vicarious fantasy", because if i was        a singer this would be the record i'd make. hands down          . but that doesn't mean this is for everybody. music lovers come under        2 umbrellas. number one: those who use it for growth and spiritual fulfillment        and number two: those who use it for mere background music. the thing        is, this record is too extreme to play the middle of the fence. this record        is the litmus test that will reveal the most for your personality. cats        who live for music and all the new directions it can show you have cried        when i played this record (i don't wanna embarrass no one but i assure        you at least 7 of your favorite artists were on their knees BAWLING because        of this astounding document of music. this is what we need today...this        is no miseducation ....this is the blueprint right here!) for them.         i know for a fact that tribe inspired slum, slum inspired d, and d inspired        "things fall apart". i assure you, the only reason that "things..." was        the way it was is because of the endless education i got from moonlighting        on this record. the intro? and all that dialogue floating around? (came        from russ' (elevado, engineer)3-d like mixing). the volume floating up        and down on "the realm"? that from all the endless info that chief hendrix        engineer eddie kramer bestowed on us when talking of jimi's endless ideas        when recording at the studio jimi built for us. "double trouble"? inspired        by "great day in the morning" i was not gonna let no r and b cat out dirty        the drums i created. and "love of my life"? d and i always talked about        having an "electric relaxation". meaning that smoove ass song that starts        side two that's so lush and beautiful that you wanna just.......die!!!        slum's "electric" was "fall in love". d called me 4am screaming that he        finally had a "relaxation". ("the root") shieeeet, if i didn't feel left        out in the cold, side two of "tfa" would've started with "100% dundee".                  just being around these cats made me want to better my shit. i can't recall        the times we would have listening sessions and primo would come down and        play us shit from the unreleased "moment of truth", or pete rock would        play his "treats of the week" (pete makes 20 tracks a week, rides around        nyc and gets feedback from cats) and i don't even gotta talk about slum        village. i was the only cat not pulling my weight. i just wanted to pop        a tape in and watch niggas scream as they jumped with envy while listening        to my shit. they all got inspired by each other and dagnabbit i wasn't        going down without a fight. so just know the next time you listen to "tfa"     know that's a record with a man who was trying to excel from just being        a "great drummer" to an artist that inspires his fellow artists. and sure        enough in time "tfa" got revamped to fit my tastes to the point that cats        was happy to hear my shit and i wasn't embarrassed to play em shit, cause        i guarantee you, if d doesn't jump 6 feet in the air, and tip don't shake        his head like he don't believe it, and jay don't do his patented "whoooohoooo!"        it ain't bangin. so in short this record made "tfa" and fantastic vol        2 possible. this is a track by track guide to how "voodoo" got made. "player        player"                we started this in august '96. d's manager dominique treneir was one the        executive producers of space jam and d was making a contribution. before        this our history was limited to illadelph's "hypnotic" and a song that        didn't make the "set it off" soundtrack ("bitch"). so already "bitch"        with it's drunk ass meter, and the new kid on tribe's block, jay dee,        were steering us in this new direction, of soul for 2000.                bad boy was just about to eclipse and rule the sound that was then "death        row". the drums on "dreamin eyes of mine" (from brown sugar) were always        my favorite and showed me endless possibilities of funk. i just combined        all those influences and gave d some nasty ass funk. i was rim shottin        the snare hard as hell, and making my meter sloppy as hell. but not so        sloppy that you couldn't feel it. as for the icing on the cake. i showed        d some tricks on how to make his shit sound spacey. so we reversed the        2 inch tape, and i did my patented trick with the rhodes that i've done        with countless roots songs. soon after we just had fun.                you can still hear us laughin our ass off while applying hand claps and        snaps to the track. pretty soon this would become a recording highlight        to the point on all our songs we would have clapping sessions. that was        our bonding moments. ("hello?" what's up nigga? yo where you at? "in philly"        yo, can you get here in 3 hours? "yeah why?" we doin claps "oh cool lemme        get dressed"...)no matter how late, or how inconvenient, clapping session        were the equivalent of sunday dinner on "soul food" and soon we initiated        other cats into the family (common, james poyseur, roy hardgrove, raphael        saadiq, q-tip, pete rock, and even erykah). that's where we would get        crazy, crack jokes, fart, play the dozens and gave each track the good        time feel it deserved) the folks at warner brothers got freaked when they        heard the final product and instead took a brown sugar reject. ("i found        my smile again"). this was just a peek of what was to come. soon 3 years        would follow of funk, unhappy record execs, bonding, rumors of drug abuse,        education from the masters (playing with prince), uneasiness with the        state of black music, divorce, child birth, and the one element that glued        this whole shit together.....love.                it was a love for the dead state of black music, a love to show our idols        how much they taught us. this was the love movement. and this was the        beginning.                "l and r"        by 1998, the ridiculously long delay in this record began to even irk        me, vowing that i wouldn't listen to another lick of this record until        i picked it up in the stores, i trashed my instrumental tapes (well......not        really).i stopped coming by the studio in order to concentrate on my fourth        record. this was a concoction between q-tip and d. yes i'm drumming. but        i'm not drumming (he looped 4 bars of me playing).                d sorely wanted a party song that didn't compromise his future funk vision.        he wanted something sexy for the ladies, but he wanted heads to feel him        as well. the latter wish was too important to him. i remember being in        richmond (his crib) the week "life after death" came out (biggie). he        said he never seen anything like this since ll's sophomore effort "bigger        and deffer". he was right. after our show, the parking lot was a virtual        biggie heaven. this car rocked "player hater", this car had "i've got        a story to tell", this jeep kept "what's beef" on repeat.....and our ride        played "10 crack commandments" til the cops told us to turn it down. the        last conflict was which hip-hop artist would carry d into the jeeps and        backpacks of the heads. to go commercial would ruin the premise of this        whole record. of course tariq and com wouldn't pass the corporate test        (and yes folks we tried). and he didn't want the flavor of the minute        mc. it had to be someone who rode the thin line with ease. so in this        corner.....(love movement era) q-tip. and in that corner the blunt brothers        (meth and red).                general opinion was that the song was cool but nobody was feeling tip's        verse. often times we would try to brainstorm and see if we could come        up with a better song to save us the embarrassment of telling tip we didn't        like his performance. meanwhile manager dom felt that we needed a "hard        nigga" to get the streets to feel this. so we got double the package.        meth and d had been cool since d sang on "break up to make up" for meth.        and of course redman rocked the shit outta "dreamin eyes of mine's remix.        so when the hard knock life came to denver, d packed his bags and headed        west. the results? mixed at best. no one will ever contest that meth and        red are stellar artists, it's just that they didn't fit here. i mean the        appeal to d is partly based on this rebel danger thing......but the misogynistic        verses cut like a knife. d felt it too. after talking to lauryn for an        extended period i'm happy to say that q-tip was reinstated.                "the line"        we did the line in early 98. the working title back then was called "bullet".        sorta like the way way wu tang calls their lyrics "darts". it's a curious        song. it tells me that no matter how confident we seem, to be there's        always a tinge of doubt lurking in the background. it's here that d addresses        the controversy. "i know the pressure is on, from every angle it's coming,        will i hang? or get left hangin? will i fall off? or is it bangin?......                        one of our main gripes was...well his, was that he wanted the soul/loverman        marvin/ al green shit to stop here. but that doesn't mean that he can't        show influence while building his own personality. at close listen one        can hear his voice morph into every style of black music from 20's gospel        quartet to prince. this is also a debut of a style that i started using        called "mother's son" style. i jacked it from curtis mayfeild's drummer.        he used this ill style in which he would hit the edge of the snare and        rim shot at the same time on a song called "mother's son" (well what do        you know?!!) only bobby z. from prince and the revolution used this style        on "under the cherry moon". since this song d makes me use this style        on all his jams. matter of fact, i think i play the snare all of 3 times        on this record. the rest is rim shot funk                "send it on"        here we took a classic melody (from kool and the gang) and turned it into        a classic love song. this is a departure from today's slow jams. but this        is not the typical retro-time machine travel fodder. this is some love        shit for 2000. very polite and sweet. not at all like the monster "untitled"        will be.                "chicken grease"        by mid 99 the soulquarians were in full swing (d, me, jaydee, james poyser)        and we were working on common's "like water for chocolate" when we came        up with this lethal jam. it was so good that d pulled me to the side and        said "i ain't no indian giver....but i ain't lettin Com walk off with        this song.."                he called me 3 times that morning begging to ask com for that track. com        agreed, and we named it "chicken grease" after a phrase that prince uses        when he wants his guitarist to play a 9th minor chord while playing 16th        notes. feelwise we were paying tribute to george clinton. there's the        greek chorus thing going on. very loose. reminiscent of "flashlight".                        "one mo gin"        this is the song of catching up with lost loves and such. real mello.        and smooth.                "the root" "spanish joint", and "great day inna morning"        ok this is the virtuoso part of the record. so intricate that i can't        even describe all the technical stuff to you. this features guitar god        charlie hunter. charles' gift is a unique one. this mofo plays the guitar        and bass at the same time!! no joke!!!! ok well he made the last 2 strings        on his guitar bass strings. but know that this song contained no overdubbing.        so when you hear the solo's and the bass playing at the same time know        that this happened at the same time!!!!!!!!! -                "untitled"        called by most as the best song on the album "untitled" (aka "how does        it feel") is our homage to (the "controversy" era) prince. (not the artist).        this is done quite tactfully. always finding the line between parody and        honesty. plus in an era of "the cover song" redoing a prince song was        taboo. this is the second best thing. -                "africa"        ok. now you're gonna know where i jacked that bell sound from "return        to innocence lost". matter of fact i also jacked my favorite prince jam        ("i wonder u") for the drumming. i also have to say that this is my favorite        song on the record. i had to beg d to do this joint. he didn't see this        at first because we had already did a song about his son. but i told him        the music here fit the mood better.                it's like a bunch of toy boxes playing at once (we took the cover off        the rhodes and mic'd 'em) it gives you that sad feeling that "higher"        gave you on brown sugar a dope song that you don't want to hear because        you know that this is the last song you're gonna hear (never fear folks,        we got about 30 songs that didn't come out yet) in some time. i know d        wanted to do a song that spoke of history. not just to his son. but to        god, to africa and the world.                i could go on but you have to hear this to believe it. in closing i just        have to say that i'd like to thank d for making this opportunity available        to me. by the way "devil's pie" just got added. and the lauryn song isn't        quite done yet. primo did "devil's pie" a song about the money hungry        jiggafied state of the world we're in. which you can't eat without "dough"        "cream" "ice" "cheddar" and "bread" (the key ingredients) and how the        devil will destroy those who will sell their souls to him.                jaydee did the lauryn track. and it has an al green feel to it mixed with        a little "got til it's gone" (jaydee did that too...). there's also some        interludes from our endless jam sessions as well, most notably the ahmad        jamal/ pete rock jam we recreated from the last interlude from pete's        main ingredient. we used those interludes to help the masters speak. on        one marvin gaye talks about the songwriting process, and the intro is        jimi hendrix begging his audience to just "forget everything that happened        yesterday, or today.....we are just making our own little place just give        us that.." we have others but i don't know if they'll get used or not.        anyway. this is the in depth "voodoo" report from the inside. i hope you        enjoy it. just have an open mind to new shit. just give us that...........        

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Cold as Ice - Chapter 53 - Part 5

*Warning - Adult Content*

Landon Reilly

When I walked into my father's view, his wild eyes landed on me, practically piercing through my skin.

The bruise from what I assumed was Wren's punch was still visible but fading.

"Why am I not surprised," he sarcastically remarked.

"I knew you must be involved with this."

"We are not your kids," I said to him in a low tone as I walked closer.

"We are not your anything."

"You might not be but your sister is."

"My sister wants to leave and you're going to let her," I said, trying to keep my voice even and strong.

My father stepped into the house, pushing past Matthew as Matthew tried to hold him back.

It was no use.

He walked right through Matthew and stood toe to toe with me.

"You have struck my last nerve," he spat.

"I thought we had been over this but clearly our last encounter wasn't enough to get it through your head that you are to cease all contact with your sister."

"I don't care what you have to say," I replied, squaring my shoulders.

"I care about Olivia."

I wasn't going to let him intimidate me.

This time I wasn't going to be blindsided. I was ready for whatever he threw at me.

"She doesn't need you to care about her," he replied with a sinister smile.

"You are nothing to her. There is nothing you can do for her."

He was wrong and he was beginning to see it.

He was only acting so crazy because he knew Olivia couldn't stand him, that she wanted to be rid of him and Mom just as much as they wanted to be rid of me.

He couldn't stand that his perfect children didn't turn out the exact way he wanted them and he was beginning to realize Olivia wasn't his perfect little princess anymore.

"You're only angry because you've finally realized you've failed both of your kids," I snapped at him.

"Olivia and I need each other, more than we ever needed you."

His eyes bugged out of his head so he looked nearly unrecognizable.

"You are the one who failed me," he screamed, pointing his finger at me and then at his chest.

"I gave you everything. I set you up for success and you failed. If you had just done what I asked of you, if you had gone to the therapy instead of fighting it things would be different. You would still have a home. I would still love you"

I scoffed, shaking my head.

"You never loved me or Olivia. You love what ever version of us you have conjured in your head."

He stepped closer to me, clearly letting his anger fuel his body.

He was where I got my anger problems from and I hated him and myself for it.

"You don't like to hear it but you're not the father that you think you are," I continued before he could get another word in.

"You wanted to live vicariously through me more than you loved me. It was never that you wanted me to succeed. It was that any success I had felt like success for you and you know what? I'm so glad that I don't have to have anything to do with you anymore. You made my life miserable. Now I get to be the real me. Not just some version of you."

"You sound ridiculous," he snarled at me.

"And another thing, I never felt any love from you but I sure as hell feel it from my boyfriend and knowing how much you would hate the fact that your perfect Christian son is in love with a man, makes it even better."

That had struck a nerve with my father.

He reached for me, trying to pull me toward him but somebody grabbed my shoulders and pulled me away from him.

I turned slightly and saw Wren out of the corner of my eye.

If I thought my father was angry to see me, he was downright livid to see Wren standing beside me.

"Where have you taken my daughter?" my father snapped at Wren, all his fury now directed at him.

I moved forward, putting Wren slightly behind me.

"She's safe from you because of him," I said, pointing a finger at him.

"This is it, huh? You had your little boyfriend come to the house and kidnap your sister?"

My father moved fast toward Wren, his hand outstretched like was going to grab him but I moved faster.

I put myself in front of Wren and lunged at my father, bringing my fist back and hitting him hard.

Wren came to stand beside me just as the police pulled up to the house.

We all turned to stare as the officer made his way up to the open front door.

Anne came forward and spoke to the officer, pointing at my father.

"Sir, you're being asked to leave the property," the officer said to him.

My father was seething.

Steam was practically coming out of his ears he was so angry but he walked out of the house and the officer walked him to his car.

He looked at me from his car, his face like a declaration of war.

He wasn't going to let Olivia ago without a fight but for her, it was a fight I was willing to have.

Wren pulled me close to him and turned as around, shielding me from the dark stare of my father.

"I called because I knew things were going to end badly if we didn't get him out of here," Anne said to us.

She stepped forward and pulled me into a hug.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said, my voice like gravel. I was sweating, still feeling anxious.

"I need to call Olivia."

Anne and Wren let go of me and I went into another room to call my sister.

She picked up on the fourth ring, laughing at something someone said to her.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Where are you right now?" I asked.

"Dad just came to the Hanson's house raging because I guess the police went to the house this morning and questioned him. He thinks Matthew or me called them. He's furious right now."

"I'm at Fawn's and I called the police," she said.

"So wait, what?" I asked.

"You called them?"

"Yeah, I called them and dropped off some evidence I had."

"Evidence? What evidence?"

"I had some recordings of conversations, my diet plan and calorie tracker, text messages," she listed.

"I just really don't want anyone making me go back there, so I thought I'd be thorough."

"Yeah, that's probably a good thing."

I was stunned and a little guilty, that Olivia had gone and done this on her own but mostly I was proud that she was advocating for herself.

She was a lot braver than I ever was.

"I'll talk to you later, okay? We're about to go to the mall," Olivia said after a few moments.

"Alright, have fun," I said.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I walked back into the room, staring at my cell-phone with a stunned expression.

"What's wrong?" Wren asked, immediately at my side.

"It was Olivia," I said quietly, still staring at my phone.

"Olivia called the police. That's why they questioned him this morning."

Wren didn't look surprised.

"Did you know?" I wondered, training my eyes on him.

He shook his head.

"No but I'm not surprised. Your sister is smart."

I nodded in agreement, looking down at my cell-phone again before putting it in my pocket.

Wren stared at me for a moment before reaching his hand out for mine.

"Come on," he said.

"Let's go for a drive."

[behaneul]

DISAPPOINTMENT in which haneul gets a call from his mother post-next gen finale

cw: haneul being absolutely torn apart by a single phone call aka parental disappointment used as a weapon

tw: suicidal thoughts/idealization

     “did you really think you had a chance?”

     it’s definitely his fault for becoming careless. he had been so used to all of his phone calls recently being from seojun or other friends, or work, that he had forgotten that he had never gotten around to blocking his mom’s phone number. she hadn’t contacted him at all, aside from once after the first episode of next gen (which he had ignored) and he really should’ve known better than to think that she wouldn’t have watched the finale. 

     she probably had been hoping for him to fail too, if he knew her at all. he knew she tried to live vicariously through him and since she wasn’t a dancer, she was probably upset that he had done so well while claiming he was a dancer instead of using his vocals.

     either way, he had absentmindedly picked up the phone in the middle of prepping to cook dinner, assuming seojun was calling him to let him know if he could come drop over some of the boxes, considering they were mid-moving. or someone else. not her. 

     he almost drops his phone when he hears her voice.

     “mom,” he greets, trying to pretend he hadn’t heard the way she hadn’t even bothered to greet him before going straight for the jugular. he puts down the knife so he wouldn’t be tempted to miss the tomato he was cutting and hit his own arm instead or something. he momentarily entertains the idea, shaking his head as he goes to wash his hands. “how nice of you to call.”

     “what did you think was going to happen on that show? did you think you would woo the judges with your silly little dance and get signed for it? don’t make me laugh.”

     he closes his eyes, breathing in slowly through his nose as he grips the counter, his grip so tight that his knuckles have paled. he’s not sure why she’s so good at saying the exact words that will dig right into his heart and twist and he’s always so helpless to stop them from taking root in his brain for him to overthink for the rest of his life. 

     “not even a hi?” haneul responds through gritted teeth, trying to sound civil. he knows from experience that he can’t talk back or she cracks down harder, and he suddenly wishes that he had moved into seojun’s place earlier, instead of waiting for next gen to end. he doesn’t know if he’ll be okay to be alone after this without wanting to off himself immediately. he’s not sure when his relationship with his mother had gotten so toxic since she had originally been his number one fan, but he knows they’ll never get back to those days.

     “you’re absolutely worthless as an idol. can’t dance, can barely sing after all the money i invested in singing lessons but you spent all your time doing that worthless dancing. what a waste of resources and time. you should give up and come home, maybe we can get you a job at a bar or something and you can sing there at least.”

     her voice is just a buzz in his ear at this point, his heartbeat thudding so loudly in his head that that’s all he can hear. 

     thud.

     thud.

     thud.

     “you can’t even sing right. why did you even try to rap? you can’t do anything right, can you? can’t even pick the right major in school, either. anything for your little dancing right? where did that get you? at the bottom, right? what an absolute joke.”

     “stop.”

     “what?”

     he can feel his heart thudding harder in his chest, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. his palms are sweaty and he wipes his free hand on his sweats. he’s never talked back to her before, and he never thought that the day would come when he would.

     he’s actually not sure if he can say anything else.

     “stop talking,” is all haneul manages to say next, his voice shaking and he hates it. he hates how she can make him feel so small without even being anywhere near him. she doesn’t even have his address and he wonders if it’s time for him to change his phone number finally. 

     “what did you just say? cho haneul, how dare you speak to me this way?”

     “please,” he whispers, unable to move from the position he’s in, gripping the phone with both hands. 

     “please stop.”

     “you—”

     he hangs up and puts his phone down, staring at his home screen’s wallpaper for a long moment before locking it. it starts buzzing immediately with his mom’s contact showing up and he ends up throwing his phone across the room onto his bed, watching as it rolls and hits the wall. it continues to buzz as he stares at it, waiting for it to stop. it stops after a while, before it starts again. it stops after a while, before it starts again.

     and again.

     and again.

     and again.

     “stop,” he whispers, having ended up on the floor of his studio at some point, the buzzing not fading into the back of his mind like he had hoped but instead feeling like an alarm screeching in his brain.

     “please stop.”

     he’s not sure how long he sits there, arms wrapped around his knees as he listens to his phone vibrate on his bed. it feels like forever. the buzzes go on and on and on in the silence of his apartment. 

     eventually it stops. whether it’s because she’s given up or his phone’s died, he’s not sure. he’s also not sure about whether he feels relief or dread at the sudden silence after the incessant buzzing.

     he’s not really sure how to come back from this either. because, as much as he hates what she had said, he won’t deny that that’s what he was thinking too. when he had dropped from first rank to almost last. from being the team that had been ‘almost good enough to debut tomorrow’ to not being wanted enough by any company to even get a contract.

     no one wanted someone else’s sloppy leftovers, right? he had done well on the show but not well enough. 

     maybe his chance had passed.

     maybe he should give up while he’s ahead and accept that he’s just not meant to be on stage, as much as he wished he could be.

     maybe he should give up while he’s ahead.

     he just doesn’t know how to pick himself up from here.

[mothwingwritings]

There’s Just No One Like You Pt. 2

F!ReaderXTaiju Shiba

PART ONE PART THREE

Yoooo who’s ready for part two of your Taiju adventures?

I am sorry this took so long, and thank you all for your patience! I rewrote the ending like, three times because it was pissing me off lul. Also adult life is lame and you have to do dumb shit that gets in the way of smut writing. And then after years of not getting sick I got a cold that knocked my ass out for 3 solid days. So it goes. L

Anyway, this part revolves around your reunion with Taiju (hence the name Reunion har har). It’s set during highschool, after he became the leader of the Black Dragons but before Mikey beat his ass. I imagine here he is not quite yet at his most powerful, but he’s well on his way there. Also, I just kinda assumed he lives alone with Hakkai and Yuzuha, so that’s how it is in this fic.

Though there isn’t intense explicit sex, there is definitely heavy petting and NSFW themes, mentions, and moments. So please 18+ only for this one gang.

I had a lot of fun writing this one! There will definitely be a part three and most likely a part four. I haven’t yet decided if I want to split up the final part, but that is what I am leaning towards. Like this one, it probs won’t be out for a while, so please be advised. I have some Baki fics in the work I want to get out too, so those will most likely come first.

Thank you for reading!!! (I hope the editing is OK I did most of that while under the weather lul)

Warnings: NSFW, unhealthy relationships, ducob/noncon, yandere themes, extremely heavy petting (but no actual penetration), cry baby reader, virgin reader, obsession, abuse, language, gas lighting, bullying, choking, slight dacryphilia, Taiju just generally being a scary mf.

Tags: @serenity-loves-red​ @caramelcandescence​ @mochiswifey​ @skyoumi​

Part 2. Reunion

“I’m telling you, you need to see this guy!”

“Uh huh,” Your response was lackluster in hopes that the friend beside you would finally pick up on your disinterest. You loved her, but her incessant chirping in your ear about this new guy while you were trying to focus on finishing an assignment was driving you to the point of insanity. He was all she had talked about since you had seen her today, and with the way she was going, there was no end in sight to the scandalous rumors she wanted to dump upon you.

“What do you mean ‘uh huh’,” Tomoko pouted, “(Name) this guy is like, the talk of the school right now! Haven’t you been listening to me? Rumor has it he’s been held back a year for failing the year prior because he was in and out of juvey AND he’s the head of some kind of local gang or something. So not only is he a mysterious transfer student, but he’s also like, a total badass!”

“Sounds like a great person,” you mumbled sarcastically, shuffling through various papers, “really top tier crush you got there Tomo.”

“It’s not a crush,” she bumped her shoulder against you. “I’m just intrigued, is all. I mean, our school is so boring normally. Barely anything happens! This rebellious transfer student may just turn all that on its head.” She hummed, shooting you a coy look, “But maybe something is forming in my heart, when I caught a glimpse of him earlier I couldn’t help but think he IS rather cute~”

You playfully rolled your eyes at your friend, shaking your head. Tomoko and you were nearly opposites, where she liked to have a foot in everything and keep up with all the latest happenings, you much preferred keeping a low profile and stayed in your lane.  You did your best to avoid the gossip traps Tomoko so loved to fling herself into, finding yourself perfectly content living those scandals out vicariously through your friend.

You laughed, “You are something else you know that? What would you even do with a bad boy boyfriend miss ‘I always go to bed by 9pm and can barely say a curse word without getting flustered’?”

She snorted, “Oh, you’re one to talk! You can hardly look a handsome guy in the face without wanting to run and hide!”

“Look, I’m not the one who is-“

“QUIET,” your teacher’s voice boomed, effectively ending your playful banter, “Everyone, eyes up here! We have a new face to introduce to the crowd.”

The class’s attentions were brought to the front of the room, your jovial demeanor instantly curtailed as you took in the boy who stood beside your teacher. Honestly, man may have been a better word for him, as he dwarfed your teacher in both stature and mass. His height alone was enough to quiet the rambunctious crowd before him, the overwhelming presence he exuded commanding everyone’s instant respect. Oozing ‘tall dark and handsome’, it was impossible not to take note of how attractive he was. His unruly hair cascaded around his face, the varying shades of blue reminding you of waves crashing against a craggy beach. The tendrils framed his severe, scowling countenance, his judgmental stare boring down on the people around him made him appear as if he were searching them for something and was disappointed by what he found. His hands were stuffed in his uniform pockets, head tilted back to amplify the feeling that you were all beneath him.

The stranger’s eyes languidly swept over the class, angular face looking even sharper in the harsh fluorescent lights of the classroom.  As you watched his steady inspection of your classmates, you couldn’t help the small shiver that traveled down your spine. In every regard, this man was menacing. (But you had to admit, you were impressed that someone could look so utterly bored and pissed off at the same time, at a class introduction no less.)

“This is Taiju Shiba,” your teacher proceeded. You noticed he stood a bit further from Taiju than he normally did when introducing someone, his eyes shooting the taller boy a quick, leery glance. What did it say for this new face that even your teacher was weary of his presence? “Please make sure to welcome him and assist him if he needs any help.”

A murmur of unenthused recognition spread through your class. The welcome seemed to amuse Taiju, a hint of a smirk ghosting his lips at his reception.

“Oh my god, that’s him!” Tomoko’s voice chimed in, slapping at your arm repeatedly in her excitement. Her floundering went barely acknowledged however, as you found yourself unable to focus on anything but Taiju.

Where had you heard that name before? It sounded so familiar, but you were sure you had never interacted with this man previously. Why would you of? Just one glance and you could clearly see he was a poster child for the delinquents of the world, a group of people you tried at all costs to avoid. The bullying you suffered at their hands in your childhood enough to give you lifelong PTSD. From the looks of him, this person was definitely not anyone you would have any kind of pleasant history with, or even any history at all.

Taiju must have caught Tomoko’s voice over the sound of the crowd, as his eyes were soon to hone in and lock onto yours. Pure ice ran through your veins as he took you in, silted yellow eyes reminiscent of a cat that had just cornered a mouse. He held your gaze with an intensity he spared the rest of the class, a pointed look of surprise flashing across his features that caused his dramatic brow to loosen. You hated that you felt a warmth spread across your cheeks, instant embarrassment hitting you like a ton of bricks as other classmates caught on to his interest in you, shooting you questioning looks of their own.

His lips curled, baring his teeth in what you assumed was his attempt at a smile. You shuddered as his eyes flicked you up and down, openly ogling you in front of the rest of the class. Maybe your mind was playing tricks, but you swore you heard growl come from his direction.

As if being broken from a curse, you finally found the strength to avert your gaze, suddenly becoming very interested in editing the assignment on the desk before you.

“Why don’t you take a seat over there in the corner, there’s an open spot behind (Name)-san.”

Your breath hitched. If there was ever a moment you wanted the earth to eat you alive, this may be it.

“(Name) raise your hand please so Taiju knows where to go.”

Weakly, you raised your arm above your head. Briefly you made eye contact, but were quick to glance away when noting his unnerving smile had grown. You snuck a peek at your friend, who reciprocated with the same dismayed expression you were donning. It made sense he would sit behind you, it was the only seat that was unoccupied, but that didn’t mean you had to be thrilled about it.

Without further interruption, the man sauntered towards his awaiting desk. Your heart pounded as he made a brief stop next to you. Ignoring his stately figure the best you could, you bore holes into the desk before you. If you tried hard enough, maybe you could convince him that you were just some boring school girl overly focused on her studies, not someone worthy of directing any ire or attention. If you were lucky, it would work (however you knew you wouldn’t be so lucky with Tomoko, who most assuredly was sucking up this moment like a sponge to tease you later).

A sudden tap on your desk made you jerk. His knuckles grazed the wooden surface, coming suspiciously close to brushing against your arm. You sat like a statue, a cold sweat pooling on the back of your neck at the proximity of his body. You prayed to every god imaginable that he would get bored of your lack of response and take his seat, hopefully finding you just boring enough that he would leave you alone indefinitely. Your eyes darted to his hand as it crept closer and closer, debating if he would actually go so far as to touch you or not, and if he did, how you should respond.

“Is there a problem, Shiba-san?”

You released the breath you were holding when Taiju withdrew his hand, turning his body in the slightest to glance at the teacher.

“No teach,” His voice drawled. He turned back around, taking the last few strides to his awaiting desk, “Not at all.”

With an exasperated sigh, your teacher shot you a look that almost seemed apologetic before they continued. “Well, now that we are all settled, let’s proceed with class.”

Focusing on learning turned out being easier said than done, what with the feeling of his eyes drilling a hole into the back of your skull. Tomoko nudged your foot a few times to get your attention, shooting questioning glances from Taiju to you. You did your best to nonverbally communicate you had no idea why he was picking on you either, but for your sanity you hoped it would not be a recurring ordeal.

The rest of class dragged by with it being next to impossible to focus on anything the teacher was saying. With Taiju’s stifling presence looming behind you, you felt suffocated. Wriggling in your seat, finding a moment of comfort under his scrutiny was simply out of the question. You could practically feel the burn of his eyes on every move you made, but you were far too unnerved by him to confront him about it. All you had to do was make it through this class and then maybe you could meet up with the teacher later and see if they could put you and Tomoko somewhere else, preferably on the other side of the room.

After what felt like a century, class ended. You had long since bundled up your belongings, ready to bolt as soon as you were able. This was the last class of the day, and the sooner you could get out and away from the constricting aura that was smothering you from behind, the better.

However, fate never seemed to have your best interests in mind. Before you could even entertain the thought of a speedy escape, you heard a deep voice call out behind you.

“(Name).”

‘Great, he’s already remembered my name.’ You flinched, considering your options. Should you just pretend you didn’t hear him? That seemed like a plausible excuse, it was pretty noisy now that class had let up.

“Hey,” he spoke again, this time kicking the leg of your chair enough to jostle you, “(Name), you suddenly deaf or something?”

You gritted your teeth, slowly pivoting around until you were looking at Taiju. He was sprawled out in his chair, obviously in no real hurry to leave for the day like the rest of the class. His feet were encroaching into your personal space, one foot still firmly planted on your chair keeping you from too much movement. His golden eyes, though still intense, had softened considerably as he stared back at you. His wolfish grin had faded too, his face relaxing into a much calmer state. This threw you off. If this man was preparing to verbally assault you, why did he seem so collected now?

“Can I help you?” Your voice came out far less assured than you wanted it to. You frowned as his jaw tightened after the question, displeasure once more twisting his face into a look of cruelty. Your first time speaking to him and somehow you already managed to piss him off.

He snorted, lips curling in a sneer. “Really? That’s all you have to say after so many years apart?”

“What???” Tomoko beat you to the punch, drawing both your and Taiju’s attention. A pink tinge came to her cheeks after her exclamation, and she cleared her throat before continuing, “I’m sorry it’s just… (Name), you know Taiju-san?” Face agog and expression borderline hurt, she eagerly waited for you to spill the details.

The truth was you were just as shocked at his words as she was.

Your gaze shifted back to Taiju, who had since turned his focus back to you. You wracked your brain for any recollection but came up blank, his expectant gaze causing anxiety to mount within you. Just what was he looking for here? Of course you didn’t know him! You come from two completely different walks of life.

“I’m very sorry,” you finally spoke, flicking your gaze between the two, “I think you have the wrong person. I don’t think I’ve ever met you before…?”

Your voice trailed off, growing considerably meeker under Taiju’s study. His frown had become so deeply etched into his face you were concerned it may become stuck that way. His eyebrow twitched, a prominent vein in his forehead bulging in vexation.

“Really, you don’t remember when we were kids? We went to school together, I found you on that playground? None of that rings any bells?”

There was a definite edge to his voice, but you also detected a hint of wistfulness. It was accompanied by a waver in his eyes that if you weren’t mistaken, seemed almost pained. You nibbled at your bottom lip, feeling even worse than you had previously.

“I-I don’t… I’m really sorry, I honestly think you are mistaken-“

“I’m NOT,” abruptly he stood, rattling the furniture around him as his body shoved it askew. “How can you not remember me? Is this some sort of fucking joke, are you tryin’ to piss me off?”

You winced at his words. Feeling cornered, you pushed yourself as far into your desk as you could. At his full height, he stared down at you in your chair, indignation radiating off of him in waves. Remaining plastered to your seat, you found yourself unable to look away from the angered man behind you. Your sweaty, trembling hands gripped the back of your chair so tightly you were losing circulation, and despite still being seated, you felt like you may topple over any second. How did you get in this position? What exactly did you do to set this man off?

Alerted by the commotion, your teacher approached the three of you. His voice had vibrato, but his stance seemed hesitant.

“Shiba-san, what seems to be the issue here?”

Taiju shot your hapless teacher a glare that would make anyone falter, and guilt started to overtake you as the scene escalated. You hated being targeted, but felt even worse dragging people into your messes. You knew you should say something to calm everyone down, maybe even lie and remark that you did remember Taiju just to chill him out, but you hesitated. You had always been a horrible actor, and something told you that messing up now would just make things much worse.

Feeling a hand wrap around your wrist, your eyes trailed the reassuring grasp back to Tomoko. As you made eye contact, her head bobbed towards you in comforting affirmation.

“We’re sorry,” she laughed, bowing lightly to your teacher as she pulled you to your feet, “(Name) and I were joking around and we happened to bump into his desk on accident, I think it messed up something he was writing? It was completely our bad.”

Once you were standing beside her, she gave you a small nudge to help back up her statement.

“S-she’s right,” you bowed deeply in Taiju’s direction, “I’m very sorry Taiju-san. We’ll be more mindful next time.”

“Yeah,” you heard Taiju’s gruff voice reply despondently, “you SHOULD be more mindful next time.”

Tomoko tugged at you forcibly, momentarily throwing you off balance. “Again, sorry for the trouble, but we are running a bit behind now to meet up with some friends. We won’t have any problems in the future, promise!”

You were more or less out the door when you heard your teacher letting out a disgruntled sigh.

“As long as everyone is keeping the peace, I suppose.”

~

“What the hell was that about?!”

Tomoko wheezed out in between panted breaths. After you had left the classroom, she dragged you behind her in a mad sprint to leave the school premises, neither of you completely stopping until you were at least two blocks away. Exhausted, you both slumped yourselves down against some beat-up vending machines that stood on the outskirts of a small park.

“No idea,” you panted, sweaty head knocking against the cool glass of the drink machine, “but despite my best efforts, I am most definitely a target now.”

Your friend sidled up next to you, “You really don’t know him? Cause he sure as hell seems to know you,” Tomoko laughed, “Who’s the one with the bad boy boyfriend now, huh?”

You nudged her with your knee, shooting her an unamused expression. “I seriously have no clue what that was all about,” you sighed heavily, “I’m pretty sure I would remember if that guy was ever in my life or not.”

Tomoko hummed in contemplation, “True, he does seem pretty memorable… But with the way he was speaking it sounded like he might have known you from when you were kids, so maybe it’s just been so long that you forgot? I know I personally have the memory of a goldfish, so maybe being stuck with ME for so longs has rubbed off on you in the worst ways.”

You turned to your friend, “If both our memories go, does that mean we’ll forget about each other and I will be free of the shackles of this relationship?”

Tomoko threw her head back in a laugh, “HAH! You wish! You are stuck with me till the end, memories or not! It was in the fine print of our friendship agreement we signed, remember?”

“Hmm, don’t recall. Must be because my memories have become so cloudy…” You replied as seriously as you could, fighting the grin that threatened engulfing your face.

“How convenient,” Tomoko laughed again, turning her focus back towards the scenery ahead of you. “All joking aside, there may be a possibility you just forgot him. People are weird. Someone could be the most important person in your life one day and then completely gone by the next. When that happens, no matter how sad it may seem, it’s only natural for the memory of them to fade along with them, right?”

You sighed, slumping deeper against the vending machine. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

For the first time since you arrived here, you truly took in your surroundings for the first time. Though not terribly far from the school, you and Tomoko had gone a surprising distance and ended up in an area you had not ventured to in quite some time, and for obvious reasons.

Even years later, glancing at that dilapidated, sun worn little play house in the corner of this old park sent chills through you. The years had not been kind to it, and you wondered why of all the play equipment in the park that was the one they decided to keep. The entire place had been renovated in recent years and nearly everything besides the plant life had been replaced with something newer and nicer. Yet the playhouse of your nightmares still stood, taunting you to recall the memories you buried deepest within yourself.

You suppressed a shudder. In the darkest corner of your mind you could still hear your pursuer’s sneers through its thin walls, recalling the paralyzing fear you felt as they gained on you, clutching your body so hard your bones ached.

It had been a long time since you let your mind wander to that moment, so long it felt like an entire lifetime had passed. You are by no means a fighter now, but back then you really were a sitting duck, weren’t you? As your mind was further consumed by the ghosts of the past you cringed for your younger self. There were what, three or four boys gaining on you at that point? All of them were in your grade school class and none of them had any qualms over beating on the little new girl, even enjoying your torment. You recalled the leader of their posse was especially vile. He was relentless, refusing to stop until fat tears flooded down your ruddy cheeks. When he was successful in this, he would fling all manner of curses at you in his horrible, grating voice, just to add insult to injury. And then, he would laugh and laugh and laugh, finding your pain and misery absolutely hilarious, until he finally got bored and granted you reprieve for the day.

The day you ended up in this park was a particularly unlucky moment, one little miscalculation and you ended up with the whole herd after you. You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry replaying the fuzzy memory of the slap-stick chase scene in your brain, remembering how ungracefully you skittered into that little house made you shake your head slightly in shame.

The more you mused on it, the more your suppressed memories came to light. It was such a jarring moment from your childhood, but how did it end? You did eventually get out of there unharmed, but how? You sure as hell didn’t fight off those kids on your own…

Surging up from the deepest corners of your mind, it came to you in such a brilliant, violent onslaught that you were left momentarily breathless. Your body perked up as a memory surfaced to the forefront of your brain, one that had long since been buried.

The door being kicked open and the boy that followed. His messy hair, sharp eyes, tall stature, all now displayed in crystal clarity through the visions of your past. Even in his youth his strength was unparalleled, made evident by how easily he beat back your pursuers, returning to your company covered in their blood and grime. At that time, who would have imagined he would become your most cherished friend and trusted companion throughout those childhood days? After he saved you that day, he cemented himself as your own personal hero. How could you forget him?

How could you ever forget Taiju Shiba?

“Oh my god,” the words tumbled from your lips in a hoarse whisper. Dragging yourself to your feet, you were overcome by your realization. You wavered where you stood, mind and body fuzzy from a mixture of sudden movement and the clarity of remembrance.

“What? What is it?” Tomoko was by your side in an instant, grabbing your arm to steady you. There was concern in her voice as she continued, “Are you OK, you look a little wobbly?”

Your eyes darted to Tomoko, snapping you back to reality. Taking a few seconds to compose yourself, you shot her the most convincing smile you could muster.

“Oh um, I just realized I left all my stuff back in the classroom,” you responded sheepishly, not wanting Tomoko to catch on to your realization quite yet. It wasn’t as if you were lying, you did leave so quickly all your belongings had been abandoned back at school, but you also knew how Tomoko could be. As much as you loved her, you needed the time to process this actualization on your own without being hounded by the incessant questioning you were sure would follow your revelation.

“All my homework is still back in the classroom, including a project I really need to finish tonight,” you straightened yourself out, breaking from Tomoko’s hold. Brushing your skirt off, you looked back her way, “I need to go get it before they lock up for the night.”

Tomoko frowned, lightly slapping her palm against her forehead, “Ah, I am so sorry! That was totally my fault! I dragged you away without even thinking about that!” She picked up her own school bag, adjusting it on her shoulder as she took a step your way.

“I’ll come with you.”

“No,” you grimaced at how firm and fast you replied, noting the confusion in your friend’s eyes. “Sorry, it’s just you were telling me earlier that you were really behind on that book report, the one that’s due in two days? If you want to hang out later you better go get working on that.”

You were relieved when her face softened. She sighed dramatically, “As usual, you are right. I guess it’s time to face the music.”

She began her departure towards her home, waving at you over her shoulder as she walked. “I really do feel bad though, so next time we go out it’s my treat!”

You smiled, returning the wave, “I’ll hold you to that.”

~

You took your time on the trek back to the school, losing yourself in your thoughts along the way. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that the fierce man in your class was once your number one companion, but the more you compared the past and present in your head the more you wanted to kick yourself for not recognizing him sooner. He looked nearly the same, just much bigger and more mature. In your years apart he had definitely grown from that surly little boy you held so dear to a man who was not to be trifled with. He seemed so adult now that thinking back on the way his eyes bore into you in the classroom, the weight of his presence as he stood so closely beside you, it made your face burn. Had you changed as much as he had? Sure you were also bigger now, but compared to him, you couldn’t imagine yourself as being anything but a silly little school girl, weak and nervous.

What else had changed, you wondered? Tomoko had filled you in on the rumors surrounding Taiju, but they weren’t something that you wanted to believe. However now that you had seen him currently, you couldn’t deny he had the swagger of someone who was up to no good, or could even be considered dangerous. Typical people your age didn’t show up to school buff as hell, covered in tattoos, and with a slew of rumors over previous violent exploits following in their wake.

You shook your head to dispel those thoughts. It had been years since you interacted with him, coming to conclusions about his character before even getting the chance to properly speak with him was not something you would allow yourself to do.

That is, if he even wanted to speak with you after you dipped out on him so quickly. Did you even have the courage within you to face him after forgetting your past with him and making such an ass of yourself?

You sighed, stopping to inspect the school yard as you approached the opening gates. A few people still milled about, most finishing up club activities or just getting done with some project or another. You were happy the building wasn’t completely abandoned, but also pleased by the desolation. The last thing you wanted was to run into a classmate who wanted to strike up a conversation while your mind felt like mush.

Still in your fog, you had made it to your classroom. Through the window on the entryway door you could tell the lights had been turned off, the only illumination coming from the rapidly setting sun streaming through widows along the back wall. It was quiet inside, and you breathed a sigh of relief when the handle pushed down, granting you access into the abandoned room.

At least, you thought it was abandoned.

“What do we have here,” a taunting voice startled you, “You lost, sweetheart?”

Before you sat Taiju Shiba, leaning back nonchalantly with his feet propped against your desk. Flanking him stood two equally imposing figures, neither of which you had ever seen before. One was to the right of Taiju, farthest from where you stood. He was the one who addressed you. His body swiveled your way as he gave you a once over, his amusement expressed with a low chuckle. Instinctively you took a small step back as he fully turned your way, which he was quick to take note of with a devious twinkle sparking in his eye. The stranger’s curled black hair cast shadows that obscured his face, but not enough to hide the sly grin that sat upon his lips.

“What the fuck are you doing here,” the blonde to the left of him spoke, his voice sounding much more aggressive than his impassive stare let on. His droopy, cold eyes held firm to you, causing you immense discomfort. You weren’t sure if it was the way the light fell on him or if his face was actually scarred, but based on his general disposition, you were leaning towards the latter. “We’re busy, leave.”

The darker haired boy gave another small laugh, “Damn Inupi, you certainly have a way with people, don’t you? The school is public domain and she’s wearing its uniform, which makes her a student. She has a right to be here,” he shot you a mischievous smile, “It’s just a bit unfortunate that she had to stumble in to this room while we were having an important meeting. Who knows what she could have heard through that door?”

You stiffened, goosebumps peppering your flesh as you now had the two strangers complete attention. The one addressed as Inupi was quick to speak after his cohort. “When you put it that way, maybe she should stay a bit? We’ll make sure she fully understand the importance of whatever she eavesdropped on not leaving this room.”

Before they could continue, Taiju’s firm voice halted them.

“Koko, Inupi,” he commanded. The two boys flinched as their names were spoken, turning a hesitant eye to the man who lounged behind them, “She’s here to see me, you can both leave now.”

A confused moment of silence hung in the air as the two boys looked from each other, to you, back to Taiju. The dark haired boy (or Koko as you had ascertained by process of elimination) was the first to respond.

“Here to see you,” he questioned, staring at you with far more interest now, “During the middle of our meeting? Boss, who is she?”

“My special guest,” Taiju shot back curtly, “Now fuck off.”

So concerned with the new faces, you momentarily forgot that Taiju was even present. However you were grateful when the two boys backed off, immediately deferring to the one who sat ominously behind them.

The boys shot each other one more glance before bowing to Taiju. They made their way to the exit, going around you on either side. You remained still, afraid to so much as breath until they were out of the room. Your eyes trained on the ground as they brushed against you. A small chuckle came from Koko, a shiver passing down your spine at the proximity of his voice.

“Go easy on her boss,” he joked, one foot out the door, “She looks delicate.”

The door clicked softly closed behind them, and you listened as their footsteps and murmured speech faded with their hasty exit.

Now you were alone with Taiju.

He removed his feet from your desk, placing them firmly on the floor. The movement caught your eye, your heart rate quickening as he leaned forward, back hunched as he rested his elbows on his knees. Even crouched he looked big, his solid, unflinching form making you feel a mix of comforted and uneasy. A heady feeling of nostalgia overcame you as his gaze stayed trained on yours, his expression difficult to read. You felt pinned down, unable to move or speak under the crushing weight of his stare and your own emotions.

Before you could stop them, you felt tears pool in your eyes. Suddenly you were seven years old again, standing in that desolate parking lot, staring at the boy who left such a gaping hole in your heart.  

“… Taiju,” Your voice cracked when you finally found the will to speak. You took an uncertain step forward, sweaty hand clamped tightly to your side, “I remember. The playground, that day… Those kids were chasing me and you found me in the playhouse. I remember all of it.” Your mind whirred as you contemplated what to say next, the end result coming out in a blubbering jumble.  “How could I have… it was awful of me to… I am so sorry-“

You were cut off by your own sobbing, unable to utter another word without a rush of tears. You buried your face in your hands in a poor attempt to mask the intense reaction. You felt ridiculous and confused, wanting to embrace him but knowing it was not your place to. You were more or less strangers now, and after forgetting him, you were sure he was hurt enough that he probably wanted it to remain that way.

Unsure of what else to say, you turned your face away from the man. Your surroundings had become obscured by your tears, the desks and chair encircling you little more than blurred brown blots. You sniffled, rubbing the back of your hand against your tear swelled eyes in a poor attempt to dispel them.

Nearly a decade had passed since you last spoke to him, and it was clear from his overall presentation that things had changed. He had changed. And to be fair, you had too. The reasonable side of you knew that this encounter may as well be considered the first time meeting Taiju, and the differences in your personalities at this point in life may be far too different to reconcile. So on top of making a continual fool of yourself in front of him, from what you saw and experienced thus far, you weren’t even entirely sure you would like the person he became.

It was that realization that made you hurt the most.

But that didn’t stop the desperate feeling that was clawing through your chest, wanting what you once had. Those rose hued days of childhood spent with your best friend, your protector, YOUR Taiju. The admiration and love that you had buried so deep had bubbled up, wracking your body with nervous energy as you stood before him. You wrapped your arms around yourself to quell your quivering, but it did little to get your emotions in check.

You were so caught up in your own thoughts you neglected to hear Taiju move, only becoming aware of his presence as his feet came into view. Your eyes darted up, a sharp intake of breath passing your lips in surprise of how close he had become. This definitely constituted as invading your personal space, his body so close that if you leaned forward even the slightest you were sure to make contact with him. You considered taking a step back to give yourself room to breathe, but the glint his eyes held instantly made you reconsider.

His demeanor was expectant, eyes hungry. There was potency to his stare that made your knees feel weak, his presence domineering as he inspected you. You flinched when he raised a hand, stilling as he gently placed it atop your head.

“You’re still so small,” a taunting smirk tugged at his lips, “How’d you protect yourself while I was away?”

“You scared them enough that they left me alone after you moved away,” you hiccuped, still uncomfortable with his proximity, “I’ve been staying out of trouble since then.”

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, his hand languidly petting down your head till it fell to your cheek. His palm was rough as it cradled you, but you were surprised by how delicate his hold was. His fingers barely ghosted your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“Such a good girl,” his low voice created an eruption of butterflies in your stomach, “You always have been, haven’t you?”

He paused for a moment, his eye taking on a contemplative look.

“But even good girls can fuck up.”

Your brow furrowed in concern as his grip on you tightened, his hand coming just short of pinching you. Your heart hammered in your chest as he slowly bent down, only stopping once you were eye to eye. His jaw was set and his glare was cold, any hint of amiability far removed.

“You haven’t cheated on me, have you?” The words were sharp as he spoke them. His grip tight on your cheek, keeping your full attention trained his way.

“… Cheated?” Your confusion was palpable, frantic eyes scouring his face for any sign that he may be messing around.

He slammed his free hand behind you, making you jump. His body was now leaned into yours, caging you in between the wall and his broad form.

“Don’t play dumb with me,” he spoke through clenched teeth, “Did you forget about me because you were too busy fucking around with someone else? Is that it?”

The surrealistic nature of the situation astounded you. “I don’t have a boyfriend?” It wasn’t a lie. You had had your share of crushes, sure. You had even had your first kiss, as lackluster as it may have been. But the closest thing you ever had to a true boyfriend was probably Taiju.

Your response only agitated him further, a strained laugh leaving his down turned lips, “Real funny babe, but I don’t remember ever fucking breaking up with you. In fact, I even recall you thanking me for being your boyfriend, or did you forget that too?”

You were dumbfounded by his words, staring at him blankly for a few moments before his eyes began to narrow, denoting that he was awaiting a response.

“I thought…” Your voice trailed off, the ‘you didn’t want me anymore?’ going unsaid. Whatever this situation was turning into, you realized directing any fault back at Taiju was not a good move.

“You thought what?” He spat back. You could feel his patience diminishing by the second.

“You’re right,” your voice came out as little more than a squeak, “we never did end things.” Fear was beginning to course through you when Taiju didn’t back down at your confirmation. If anything, he seemed to grow more heated by the moment. Your mind wandered back to the first time you met, how easily he was able to viciously tear down those other kids, the way he came back to you marked with their blood. If he was capable of that as a child, what damage could he inflict now?

He hummed, “So that makes you my mine,” his hand continued traveling downwards, stopping once it was secured around your neck, “And good girls don’t mess around on their boyfriends, right? My good girl certainly wouldn’t do that to me, would she?”

A feeling of trepidation welled up inside of you. Taiju was wrong. He had no right to threaten you over an agreement made in your youth, and he was the one who ultimately left you in the dust, not the other way around. Whatever twisted narrative he had running though his mind was no fault of your own. However, feeling the gentle press of his fingers on your neck, staring into the manic gleam reflected in his eyes, all you could do was nod your head what little his grip would allow you, hoping the reassurance, no matter how forced, would grant you enough leeway to have him trust you.

“You haven’t left my mind for day,” his voice was deceptively gentle, clashing with the strain your body felt in his grasp, “When I sleep I have dreams about you. When I am around other women I fantasize about you, envisioning the person you had become. My little (name), never once was I not thinking of you.”

With a sharp squeeze, his strong fingers cinched your airway.

“So how the fuck could you forget about me?”

You sputtered in his grasp. Your hands quickly latched to his arm, tugging him in a vain effort to loosen his hold. He studied you for a moment, his expression tumultuous. You couldn’t quite tell if he looked saddened, furious, or just a mixture of the two. Heavy tears rolled down your cheeks as you attempted to croak out his name, your struggle growing more desperate as the second ticked by.

A rogue tear had snaked its way down your cheek before coming to its final resting place atop Taiju’s hand. The barely noticeable sensation seemed to pull him to his senses. He relinquished his grip, a sharp, painful gasp tearing through your lungs with the new found freedom.  With little time to recover, his went to grab your chin, forcing his face so close to yours the tips of your noses were brushing.                  

“Explain it to me baby,” his voice was softer, but it didn’t lose its malicious edge, “because I’m having a real hard time understanding on my own.”

You were shaking so hard you were afraid you were going to collapse. Light headed from the lack of oxygen, your words were punctuated by shaky breaths as you responded. “I didn’t know what to do with myself when you left. When I watched you drive off that last time I felt like a part of me had gone away and was never going to come back.”

Despite the precarious situation, your cheeks burned red at your admission. You were quick to continue, “I-I guess my brain forcing you out was my response to be able to move on.” You looked up at him through teary eyes, “Taiju why didn’t you talk to me? I know you saw me. You were looking right at me and you still just left me behind. I can’t tell you how many nights I stayed up wondering what I did wrong.”

The tail end of sentence came out in little more than a breathy sob as you came to the realization that any blossoming hope for fixing your relationship was down the drain. The boy you used to know had abandoned you, and the man before you was clearly not the same person. Nauseous and embarrassed to be bearing your soul so openly, you squeezed your eyes closed, no longer wanting to face the truth that lay before you.

There were many moves Taiju could have made in this situation. You figured if anything, seeing you blubbering and frightened would just piss him off more, maybe even disgust him. Needless to say you were not expecting the feel of his lips on yours. Your eyes shot open, bewildered by the feel of his supple skin covering your mouth. Uncharacteristically soft at first, it took your brain a few seconds to catch up to what was actually going on. When there was no resistance on you end, Taiju took that as a sign to continue. The gentle caress became needy, eager. His hand released your chin to wrap firmly around the base of your skull, keeping you from any attempts of pulling away. His other arm snaked around your waist, jerking your body flush against his own. His thick arm kept you plastered to him, his hand flipping up your skirt to shamelessly grope your ass.

That broke you from your daze, the severity of the situation you were in hitting you full force. You squirmed in his grasp, but that only made his hold tighter, constricting you to a point of pain. You whimpered when he forced his tongue past your lips, his mouth feverishly working yours until your jaw ached. A groan of approval rumbling from his chest when you, unsure of how else to proceed, weakly began to reciprocate. You were afraid of what he might do if you didn’t.

It was all so invasive, uncomfortable. You felt like you were being devoured.

After some time Taiju broke away, but made no move to distance himself. Panting with eyes blazing, his voice came out husky as he spoke to you.

“I never wanted to leave you behind. Don’t for a second think that was my own choice.” He straightened himself out, pushing your head against his chest. The sound of his rapidly beating heart thrummed in your ear as he cradled you. “I never forgave my father for that. But at that time I was just a kid, powerless to make any moves without his intervention. But know this, no one holds power over me now.”

Silence hung heavy in the air, your neck hurting from a mix of his previous choke hold and the awkward angle he held you in. You remained frozen against him, not wanting to upset the delicate peace that had come over Taiju. He released a breath, his arms loosening their grip on you. When he stepped back, you took the chance to also create some space as well, quickly tidying your uniform and hair to revert back to some semblance of normalcy, pretending that none of this had just occurred.

“You’re forgiven this time, but playing dumb again will award you no favors,” a devilish smirk lit his face, “You’re lucky I love you. That and that you look so fucking hot crying for me like that.”

Any flushing your body experienced increased tenfold with his words. You wanted to run and hide, and this desire must have shown on your face, as it elicited another snicker from Taiju. You made due with folding your arms across your chest, taking in steady breathes to calm your rampant nerves.

This entire evening felt so unreal that there wasn’t a single moment your brain wasn’t plagued with questions. Profoundly concerned with how openly he grabbed you, how quickly he told you he loves you, and how easily he forced himself on you as if he had the right to, you had no idea where to even begin unraveling this moment. You weren’t the same person you once were, how could he so boldly declare these affections to you so soon after seeing you again?

There were voices screaming in the back of your head to run, he wasn’t safe, you should be angry, you should stand up for yourself, none of this is normal, you need to leave now and tell someone what happened.

But the way his eyes held you, a serene sort of affection in them as he smirked down at your flustered form, you couldn’t deny the way it made your stomach flip into a knot of giddiness. Taiju was back. Were you really going to let him slip away again without a proper chance?

He began making his way to the exit door. Propping it open with his foot, he turned back to you and extended his hand.

“Come on,” he called, “We have catching up to do.”

Despite all your reservations you nodded, grabbing on to his outstretched hand.

~

Today was all about being pushed outside your comfort zone.

It was nearing night time now. You had sent a quick call to your parents to let them know you would be home late, concocting a lie that you had gone to Tomo’s house to study and her parents had invited you to stay for dinner. You didn’t’ always see eye to eye with your parents, and you definitely had your disagreements with them, but they loved you and always had your best interests in mind. There was an unpleasant lump in your throat as the fib spilled so easily from your lips, knowing they had no reason not to trust you. You were riddled with guilt as your dad’s pleasant voice told you to have fun and not get up to too much mischief, telling you he loved you before hanging up the call.

If he knew the house you were really headed to was Taiju’s, would he still be so understanding?

At the time of departure, you weren’t sure where Taiju was taking you. You had asked him of course, but only got a snipped ‘don’t worry about it’ in response. The danger of the situation was not lost on you, but you calmed yourself down by reassuring yourself that people had watched you leave the building with Taiju, you had spoken to your family and they were expecting you home tonight, and above all, Taiju himself wouldn’t do anything to truly jeopardize your safety, right?

You had departed with him on the back of his motorcycle, which was a first for you. Apprehensive to even board the bike, you swore Taiju made a point to drive extra recklessly if for no other reason than to feel your arms squeeze him tighter as you held on for dear life. Woozy from the sharp turns and sudden accelerations, by the time you had parked and got off the bike your legs were so unsteady you were concerned you couldn’t make it inside without stumbling.

If there was a word you would attribute to Taiju’s current home it would be ‘affluent’. Your jaw nearly dropped when he walked you to the front of the towering building, its pristine modern walls glistening in the light of the street lamps. Seeing your expression Taiju smirked, assuring you the whole thing wasn’t theirs. The building itself was a condominium of sorts and housed many families, only about a floor of it belonged to the Shiba’s.

“Oh, so only a floor of the fanciest complex in the neighborhood belongs to your family,” you joked nervously, standing behind him as he keyed in the code to unlock the front gate. “How silly of me. Should I expect a butler greeting me at the door?”

Taiju snorted, glancing back at you as he stepped through the now open gateway. “Get your head out of the clouds and come on. I didn’t bring you here to gawk at the architecture.”

You nodded, blushing a bit in embarrassment. Following closely behind Taiju, you couldn’t’ help but marvel the sleek feel of the place. The spotless welcome desk manned by an equally put together looking hostess, a small waiting area off the lobby housing the plushest furniture you had ever seen, the lustrous hallway housing the stairs and elevator. Even the inside of the elevator itself seemed ornate as you traveled up to his floor.

The elevator stopped at its destined floor, dinging as the doors unfolded. You followed after Taiju who walked a few steps further down the hallway.

“Joke aside, this place really is beautiful Taiju,” you spoke as he slid his key in the door, “It makes me happy knowing you and your family can live in such a nice place.” You didn’t want to come off as judgmental, but based on Taiju’s rough exterior and what you remembered of his situation, you were more than a little concerned with what his life at home may be like.

You couldn’t see what expression he wore as he opened the door, but his voice rang clear as he responded to you.

“I know how to take care of my people.”

You only had a moment to muse on the strangeness of his statement, confused as to why he made it seem like he was the main bread winner in their family. Sure, he may have a part time job of some kind, but surely their father was who ran the household and paid the expenses, right? He may even be remarried at this point, this home certainly seemed like a shared expenses kind of deal.

“You’re home early,” an irritated, feminine voice broke your concentration, “I thought you said you’d be out late tonight?”

Taiju grunted, “Plans changed. (Name), come here.”

You followed his order, stepping into the entryway beside him. The interior was just as nice as the rest of the place, smartly furnished and without a thing out of place. The only disturbance in the décor was a rogue bowl with a spoon inside that sat atop the coffee table beside the couch. The cushions of said couch were in bit of disarray as well, obscured by the girl seated on top of them.

She looked about your age, and despite the fact that her face was scrunched into an unamused scowl, you were taken with how lovely she was. Her copper hair was thrown up in a messy bun, and from the look of her comfy attire, she had already donned her sleep wear for the night. Her eyes were impassive as they bore into Taiju, but you noticed she was giving him her undivided attention, posture rigid as she waited for Taiju to continue.

“Introduce yourself to (Name).” He commanded, placing his hand on the small of your back to usher you in front of him.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Her manners seemed forced, her address to you distant as she gave a brief bow. “I’m Yuzuha Shiba, Taiju’s sister.”

Recognition once again flooded your brain. She had grown, but those clear defiant eyes were unmistakable. You bowed back to her, a smile on your lips.

“I’m (First) (Last),” you righted yourself, “um, it’s nice seeing you again…”

She shot you a quizzical look. It made sense that she wouldn’t recognize you. You certainly would have had no recollection of her if not for Taiju sparking your memory. Regardless, it was nice to see her. You always felt bad for how you left things that day, maybe now you could make amends.

“Are you still having trouble getting doll clothes on?���

The look of confusion that knotted her brow eased with the realization.

“Oh my God,” she spoke, getting to her feet, “You’re the girl who helped me on that play date you had at our house! You said (Name), right?”

You laughed softly, slightly ashamed that she was able to remember you so quickly when you had to struggle to remember her family. “Yeah, that’s me! It’s been a long time. I’m surprised you remember me at all.”

Yuzuha returned your laugh, but you noticed there was a hint of melancholy to it. “Well it’s kinda hard to forget someone when they remain a source of conversation in your household for years.” Her eyes shot to Taiju, her expression instantly falling, “I guess he ended up finding you again, huh?”

Before you had the chance to dig deeper into Yuzuha’s reply, you felt Taiju step up beside you. Looking up at his face, you noted he was giving Yuzuha a pointed look, fists starting to form at his side.

Realizing her brother’s discontent, she cleared her throat, “But yeah, it’s good to see you too.” She shifted her weight on her feet, tucking a strand of rogue hair behind her ear. She was doing her best to ignore Taiju’s steady surveillance of her, the intense monitoring making even you uneasy. It seemed the sibling’s relationship hadn’t gotten any better in the past few years.

“So how did you guys meet up anyway,” she sounded mellow, but her nervous ticks continued, “did you bump into each other out on the street or…?”

“We’re in the same class,” you responded cheerily, attempting to alleviate the uncomfortable gloom that had overtaken your arrival, “I feel horrible, I didn’t recognize Taiju at first, even though he recognized me right away. We had a whole conversation and everything before I realized who he was, if you can believe that. ” You smiled at the man in question shyly, before looking back to Yuzuha, “I’m excited to make up lost time with you guys.”

It was your turn to feel uncomfortable as Taiju inched up closer to you, intertwining his long, lithe fingers with your own. Still unused to such blatant physical contact your stomach flipped as he gave your hand a tight squeeze. Yuzuha’s eyes darted to where you connected with her brother, a dismal look displaying on her girlish face.

It would be easy to mistake her look for one of distaste. In the brief time you had seen them interact, Taiju and Yuzuha certainly seemed like oil and water, but maybe you were wrong about their relationship? It was possible she and Taiju had actually grown tightknit and the thought of some random girl coming in to throw off the balance was nothing but an annoyance to her. Perhaps to her you were an eyesore, and those weird comments earlier about you being a point of discussion were jabs at you that went right over your head.

If it weren’t for the fact that her eyes were filled with so much regret, peering over at you as if she were in mourning for you, that you would be inclined to believe that that were the case.

“Where’s Hakkai?”

Taiju’s question perked Yuzuha up. Her fidgeting ended, her body becoming fixed in place.

“He went out for a little bit, said he was gonna grab some dinner with a friend or something.”

She sounded disinterested, almost emotionless in her response. But partnered with her quick change in posture you got the feeling she was covering for him, and with how trained her response came, it was not the first time she had done it either.

Taiju scoffed, “Well isn’t it a shame that we’ll have to end that little pow-wow early? Call him right now and tell him to come home. It’s rude to leave when guests are over.”

His barked words garnered Yuzuha’s glare, “How could he have known (name) was coming over? You didn’t even know she was coming over! Please Taiju, he won’t be much later, can’t we just-“

“That doesn’t fucking matter,” Taiju growled, releasing his hold on you as he took a step towards his sister, “You both come when I call, no questions asked. Now pick up the damn phone, or I’ll-”

Before you could fully think out a response, you lurched forward and gripped his arm to stop him. His head jerked your way, annoyance in his eyes as words began to rush from your mouth.

“It’s OK Taiju, really,” your voice shook, intimidated as you felt the muscles of his arm flex in your grasp, “I came over here to spend time with you, right? It would be nice to have Hakkai here, but you’re the one I really want to be catching up right now with, you know? I’m sure I’ll see Hakkai some other time when I come over to visit you again.”

His ego was stroked just enough by your words that his demeanor calmed. He was pleased by your response, a slight smile displayed on his lips. Seeing him calm soothed you as well. At least for now Yuzuha and Hakkai were out of the hot seat. You were learning very quickly the best way to handle Taiju’s mood swings.

After a moment’s contemplation, Taiju sighed. “Fine, leave him be. But next time, he better be here to show some respect or there will be problems.”

Without further interruption, he locked your hand in his. Tugging you towards him with a huff, he meandered off deeper into their home, pulling you along in tow.

“Don’t fucking bother us.” He called over his shoulder to his sister, who had once more seated herself on the couch. She shot you one last look, one that conveyed equal parts gratitude and apology.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

~

Taiju’s room, though technically an entirely different room now, was a lot like how you recalled it.

It was much larger than his childhood room, comfortably housing a number of furniture pieces and a sizable bed with room to spare. Everything inside were neat and orderly, save for a few misplaced and tussled items here and there. As soon as you both had entered he made a quick pass through, straightening something here, concealing something there. He told you to sit at a small, low table that sat square in the center of the room. You complied, and as you situated yourself he remarked that he would be right back with something to drink.

You were grateful for a moment to yourself as he slipped out of the door, closing it securely behind him. You released a deep sigh, dropping your head till it was resting flat against the table’s smooth surface. Now that it was just you and your thoughts, worry began to rear its ugly head. Was it really a good idea to be here, or were you just letting fuzzy memories of bygone days cloud your better judgement? The way Taiju had treated you since your reunion… It wasn’t healthy and it certainly wasn’t right. You placed your hand gingerly on your neck, cringing at the sting left by his fingers. He had forced himself on you and took advantage of you in a state of vulnerability. Even his own sister was treated like some kind of foot solider he could order around. If he could treat people he says he loves like that, you’d hate to see how he handles the people he hates.

Your heavy eyes fell closed as your mind continued its contemplation's. For him to push his built up affections on you, feelings that had long since lost the innocence of your childhood day, right after seeing him again after years apart… it was too much too soon. He was already demanding so much of you and was treating you as if you belonged to him. The longer you dwelled on these thoughts, the more despondent you became. You missed your old Taiju, you wanted him back. But was any trace of him left inside that man at all?

You steeled your resolve. If Taiju kept treating you this way, you decided you wouldn’t let it go farther than this.  The fate of your relationship hinged on this conversation. You clenched the wrinkled fabric of your skirt in your fist, heart pounding in your tight chest. If you knew it was going to be this hard, you almost wished he had stayed a forgotten memory.

“You didn’t fall asleep on me, did you?”

Bolting upright, your cheeks flushed in embarrassment. He scoffed as he sat down a mug of steaming tea before you.

“Damn baby, if you’re bored just say it. I can liven things up whenever you like.”

You shook your head, choosing to ignore the underlying connotations of his comment, “I’m sorry, I was just taking a moment to breathe. It’s been quite the day.”

You laughed nervously, hoping he wouldn’t misconstrue your words. To your relief, he simply nodded, plopping down across from you at the other end of the table. He let out a long sigh, leaning back on one arm while resting the other on his knee. You noticed he seemed much more relaxed in the comfort of his own room. With no one else around, the air of animosity that enveloped him at all times broke, making Taiju much more approachable. Though never truly loosing its edge, his face had calmed too, placidity over taking it that you wouldn’t think was previously possible with Taiju.

“I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad it’s just us.” Your heart fluttered at how soft his voice sounded as he spoke. Momentarily lost in the adoring look he had captured you in, you found yourself smiling back.

Hope began to bloom in your chest. Maybe Taiju wasn’t a lost cause.

“Me too,” you beamed, blowing lightly on your tea before taking a small sip. It was (fav. flavor), your favorite, though you were pretty sure he wouldn’t have known that. Tea was a gross adult drink the last time you two had interacted, soda and sugary juices reigning supreme. Maybe his choice was a lucky guess, or maybe his penchant for reading you hadn’t changed.

“Maybe I should go say hello to your father,” the thought donned as you as you put down your cup. Your arrival was rather abrupt and you didn’t feel right barging into someone’s home so unannounced. “If he’s home, that is. If you guys were planning dinner or something it would be rude to show up unannounced, you know?”

Taiju laughed, “Always so polite, huh? Don’t worry though, dads gone so much that he has his own place. It’s just me, Hakkai, and Yuzuha here.” Taiju took a drink of his own beverage, “I want you to know you can come over whenever and treat this place as your home. You don’t have to be on edge.”

You waved your hand, “Easier said than done, I’d hate to be a bother to you guys,” you smiled, “But I’ll try. Thank you for the warm welcome.”

A beat of time passed before the rest of his words sunk into your brain. “Wait a minute, you guys live here alone?” The incredulity slipped out in your tone, “Are you guys okay? You aren’t… struggling, are you?”

He closed his eyes in consideration. “If you’re worried we can’t afford it, we wouldn’t be here if that were the case. I told you, I take care of my people.”

You gave a hesitant nod, happy he didn’t take offense to your concern, but still surprised by this revelation. Was Mr. Shiba so wealthy he could afford this place for his children, as well as a place on his own? Or were Taiju, Yuzuha, and Hakkai footing the bill on their own? Regardless, it certainly was not a typical family situation.

“How about you,” Taiju spoke up, “You still living in the same place with your family?”

“Yes, I am. Same house not too far from here, actually.”

You were surprised at how fluidly the conversation progressed from there, with no uncomfortable gaps, weird moments of silence, or forced pleasantries. You found it easy to open up to Taiju again as he listened intently to every story you regaled him with. He was an active participant, throwing you questions left and right, taking every answer to heart. It was refreshing, speaking so freely with him without him snapping in response. He seemed content just to be basking in your presence, reveling in the tales you shared of your life from past to current. The only time his face ticked to irritation would be when you would mention any male friends, so to keep the peace you made sure to keep those stories to a minimum.

You, of course, wanted to hear more about Taiju as well. He reciprocated, answering your questions with an aloof attitude, playing himself up whenever you seemed to take a particular interest in something he said.  It would get frustrating at points, especially when you found out Taiju was a master of redirection. Any time he mentioned something concerning from his past he was quick to change the subject, directing new questions your way in hopes you would forget. Even if you tried to come back to a previous subject, he’d shoot you a look letting you know it was best to drop it and move on, to which you complied. You were certain he was omitting certain details from you on purpose, probably because he could see how leery you grew when he spoke too much in a certain direction.

One thing was for sure, you were smart enough to piece together that his ‘well-paying and rewarding job’ was probably something you wanted as little information about as possible, and that his two ‘friends’ you met previously probably weren’t just shooting the breeze earlier when you interrupted their meeting.

Despite your concerns for Taiju and his current lifestyle, you spent the conversation in a state of elation. Now that you knew you could freely communicate with him, the future didn’t seem so uncertain. You could continue to grow together, learn about each other, and he would listen to what you had to say and (hopefully) take it to heart.

After some time had passed, your eyes happened to fall upon a clock Taiju had in his room. You heart dropped when you saw the vibrant 12:32AM glaring back at you.

“Oh no,” you mumbled, pointing to the clock in question, “That isn’t right is it?”

He lazily looked back, “Sure is. God, we are really gossiping like old ladies, aren’t we?”

Without responding to him, you grabbed your school bag that was leaning against the table leg. Rummaging through, it took a moment to find your phone at the bottom of all your belongings. Your anxiety spiked when you saw the numerous missed calls and texts from your parents. The most recent text was from Tomoko, and you instinctively pulled it up to read what she had to say.

(12:17pm) From Tomz:

Hey, can u message me when u get this? Ur parents have been blowing me up asking when u r gonna be home. I figured u had a reason for sayin u would be here so I vouched and said time got away from us and u would be home soon. But now I am just worried bcause ur mom text me again saying u aren’t back yet. L Plz let me know u r OK, I’m worried!!!

As you read her words, you gave a lopsided grin. Good ‘ol Tomo, she was always someone you could count on to have your back. You were lucky to have her in your life.

Your fingers flew as you typed out your reply.

(12:37am) From Me:

Thx so much!!! I am soooo srry I’ll call them right away. I’m fine! It’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it later. I owe u something good for this. <3

Directly after you had hit send, Taiju placed his hand over your phone, enveloping the screen.

“Hey,” you said, attempting to pull your phone away from his iron clad grasp, “Come on Taiju, I have to call my parents! I didn’t realize it had gotten this late. They are worried sick.”

“Tell them you’re spending the night.”

You felt as if all your blood had drained from your body when you heard the provocative tone of his voice. You searched his face for any hint of joking, and when you found no hint of play, a shiver shook your body.

He shifted himself around the table, scooting himself until he was directly at your side. In this apprehensive state, you loosened the grip on your phone. Quick to take note of this, he took it entirely in his hand, tossing it off in the corner of the room. Your body trembled harder as you felt him over you. Not quite touching you, yet close enough to feel his heat, his breath fanned against your hair.

“If they come and try to get you, you can tell your mom my kick has become a lot stronger since the last time she met me.”

“Don’t say stuff like that,” you muttered out, “I told them I would be home later, it makes sense they would be upset. I haven’t messaged them since I left the school.”

“They can get over it,” he countered, “Whoever tries to take you from me now is asking to get their ass beat.”

You scoffed, “Taiju, don’t you think that may be a little unreasonable?”

“I don’t. I prayed for this moment nightly, and my prayers were answered today.” His eyes took on a predatory sheen. “God gifted you back into my life. I’m not letting anyone else take you away ever again.”

You gasped when he hooked an arm around you, hoisting the two of you to your feet. He shoved you upright, the sudden action making you unsteady. Using this to his advantage he stalked closer to you, herding you back in the process. It all happened so quickly you had no time for resistance, the back of your legs hitting the side of his bed caused your knees to give way. You tumbled, your back landing against his plush comforter with a soft swoosh. He was quick to crawl over you, loosening his tie in the process.

“Last time you were on my bed we were too little for me to realize the opportunity I had before me,” his lips hovered over your own, expectant and ravenous eyes scouring your face as he savored the moment. “I’m not going to let it slip by me again.”

He crashed into you, lips furiously working yours as he forced his tongue inside. Finding his power too hard to combat, you accepted his kiss, whimpering when his teeth tugged roughly on your bottom lip. He made quick work of his shirt, nearly ripping it from his torso so that his hands could once again find purchase on your body. You squirmed in his feverish touch, whining as his hands groped up your sides, shamelessly kneading and pawing at your thighs, hips, stomach, and breasts in slow succession. He began to unbutton your top as he forced the lower half of his body in between your legs, sinking you down even deeper into his bed. You jolted as he pressed himself against your core, the unmistakable hardness you felt causing you to tremble beneath him.

Your arms flew to his chest, pushing on him in a futile attempt to shove him off of you. You were already distressed by the situation as is, but feeling him grind against you made you realize things were about to get so much worse.

He growled into your throat, knocking your hands aside to prevent what little resistance you displayed. He shimmied out of his pants before impatiently tearing through the last remaining buttons your shirt, your bra the only article now protecting your modesty. Wasting no time, his lips blazed over you, leaving a scorching trail down your neck and chest that left a pleasant burn on your flesh. His hands continued their ministrations, eliciting small gasps with every valley they traveled. Your nerves were slowly waning, trembles of fear turning into quivers of excitement. Though still scared, you couldn’t deny the pleasant pulse that Taiju was coaxing from within you.

His tongue laved over the skin the spilled from the top of your bra, nibbling and sucking his mark into the supple flesh. He flipped up your skirt so that he could press into your further. You whimpered as he rocked against you, getting a feeling for the magnitude of his length and girth. Wetness seeped from you, mingling with the precum that stained through his boxers.

“Do you feel that,” his voice was throaty, “Do you feel how much I want you? Do you know how much I fantasized about making this pretty pussy mine?”

He pulled himself up, needy mouth returning to your swollen lips in a quick kiss. Momentarily parting himself, he looked you square in the eye. His hair fell around his face, curtaining him off from the rest of the world. Only you could see the state he was in. Draped over you, his chest was rapidly rising and falling with ragged breaths. His golden eyes were blown wide, the perfect accent to his flushed face. He darted his tongue out to pass over his bottom lip, giving your disheveled form a drawn out once over. As he simpered down at you, he wore a look of utter intoxication. Caged in, he had you right where he wanted.

“I hate that you were taken from me.” He leaned in closer, “I hate that in that time some dickhead could have touched you, hurt you. I hate that I had to spend years of my fucking life without you by my side.”

“Taiju…” Your voice came out breathy as you stared into his face. You were taken with how handsome he looked in the moment, wild and passionate, ready to snap any moment and devour you whole. Your panic ebbed, leaning into the large hand that made its way to your cheek. He used his thumb to gently skim under your eye, wiping away rogue tears you hadn’t realized that you had shed.

“You’re mine to protect, mine to love, mine to have, and in turn, I’m yours. Do you understand, (name)? You understand that this is where you belong?”

Without awaiting an answer, his lips once more sought your own. The desperation in his voice and in his touches made your previous resolution of standing up to him fly out the window. Your body melted as he held you, kissed you, loved you. You were both drowning in him and being resuscitated by him at the same time. Your brain was no longer making any sense at it warred and screamed about the situation you had caught yourself in. A nagging voice at the back of your mind was blaring that things were moving too fast, that you need to think this through. But right now you didn’t really care about the finer details, choosing instead listen to your heart as it pumped mercilessly in your chest, struggling violently to reach out to Taiju. It wanted him, needed him, and that was the only thing that currently made any sense to you in this heady moment.

“Yes,” you whispered in between kisses, finally working up the courage to truly kiss him back. No one ever made you feel this way like this before, his touches an experience you wanted to carve so deeply into yourself that you would never forget them. “I’m yours.”

“That’s my baby girl,” Taiju purred. He trailed his coarse palm up your thigh, fingers teasing their way up under your skirt. He stopped once he had hooked a finger through the elastic of your panties.

“You think you feel good now,” his voice was shaking with excitement as he started to tug, “Wait until I fill you up. It’s time to make up for all that lost time together.”

Feeling yourself become slowly exposed broke you from your daze. You felt good right now, better than you ever felt with another boy, and you would be lying if you said there wasn’t a large part of you that yearned to continue. But the truth was that this was your first time, and you were incredibly unprepared. You had barely even made it past first base in the past, and while this was all new and exciting, the thought of giving in and the repercussions that could cause was enough to make you feel sick. Even in a lust filled haze, the cons of where this all could lead was enough to clear up your mind.

“Wait,” your hand latched to his, halting his motions, “I-I don’t think I’m ready for that quite yet.”

“What do you mean,” Taiju responded, attempting to coerce you with soft kisses littered on your shoulder and chest, “Of course you are. I’m going to make you feel good baby, trust me. Haven’t you missed me?”

You fought him as he continued to tug, your grip staying firm, “I did miss you, but you’ve already made me feel good and I’m not ready to go that far. Please, stop.”

In response to your plea, Taiju released a deep sigh.  

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

In a fluid motion, he yanked his hand from your grasp, relocating it to your sopping folds. You mewled when he roughly shoved his fingers against your entrance, taking his time in trailing them up and down the length of you, giving special attention to when he would pass over your bud. More tears sprang to your eyes as you writhed beneath him, doing your best to create distance between the two of you. He had none of it, laughing darkly at your weak escape attempt. A toothy grin overtook his face as he watched your expressions contort under his forced pleasure.

Though you were fighting it, your body nonetheless began to relax under his touch, the slow, sensual glide of his fingers causing a mounting pleasant ache to electrify your body. Once he was satisfied with his work, he removed his hand. He clucked his tongue condescendingly as you bucked your hips up at him, missing the sensation. With his free hand, he latched onto your chin, forcing your lips apart to plunge his digits into your mouth. Your tongue rolled across his fingers, the bitter taste of your own slick assaulting your senses. After he felt you adequately licked them clean, he ripped his hand from your mouth.

“Taste that? That’s your body begging me to fuck your brains out,” he snarled. Gripping your hair he pulled your head up so that you were eye to eye. His other hand, still wet with your saliva, rested itself in a tight hold around your neck.

“So what now? You feel like being a bitch and lying to me again, or are you going to let me have my way? Either way this is ending the same sweetheart, but I can’t say you’ll much enjoy it if you decide to keep being a lying brat.”

Your mind was whirring, overwhelmed with the stimulus and terror. Were you going to be raped? Is that really how your night with Taiju was about to end? Your head was throbbing, your neck was sore, and your heart once again felt as if it were being shattered into a million pieces.

“Please Taiju,” you begged, “I’m not ready for this!” Your cries continued falling on deaf ears, and you were growing more desperate when his hand left your neck, making the descent back to your skirt.

“Please… I love you, I just… I just want my first time with you to be perfect! I want myself to be perfect for you, please… I want you so bad, but I don’t want to rush our time together!”

Your mind had become such a hazy mess that you weren’t quite sure what words you were babbling anymore. Your body that moments prior was vibrating in ecstasy, was now shaking with sobs. You felt disgusting and betrayed lying on Taiju’s bed, half naked and covered in all manner of bodily discharge. You wanted to ball yourself up so tight no one would ever be able to get to you again, but you remained splayed out, open and vulnerable to the man above you. You sniffled, biting down so hard on your bottom lip it split, the tang of blood spilling across your tongue. It was ironic, you thought. In all the ways you had been hurt today you had yet to bleed until you inflicted it upon yourself.

Being so caught up in your emotions, you didn’t realize that Taiju had stopped his assault. It wasn’t until you felt your body being scooped up, arms wrapped around you protectively as he rested your head in the crook of his neck, that you began to quiet yourself. He pressed his cheek to the crown of your head, running his fingers absentmindedly through your hair. You stared at the curving tattoos that ran along his chest, momentarily stunned by what was occurring.

“Idiot,” he spoke, placing a chaste kiss to the top of your head, “You already are perfect for me, that’s why I want you so damn bad. But when you say cute shit like that I can’t help but listen to you.” He grumbled something unintelligible under his breath, releasing another irritated sigh.

“Only you can turn me into fucking sap, you know that?”

You buried yourself deeper against his body to ground yourself, hoping to hide how rattled you were. This was such a close call. He was more than ready to have his way with you whether you wanted to or not, and the whole time you were powerless to stop him.

So why was he being so sweet now?

Why did you feel so comforted in his arms?

You didn’t understand any of this.

“Can I go home?” You choked.

“Yeah, but I’m going to take you,” he remarked, sounding the slightest bit defeated, “Clean yourself up first. I’m sure your parents are already going to bitch at you for this, let’s try not to make it worse.”

You gave a curt nod, and he released you. Scooting from the bed, you wanted nothing more than to get home and get a scalding shower. Maybe if you scrubbed enough, you’d be able to forget the whole night ever happened. The rest of the messy situation could wait till later to sort out.

You had made it to your feet, but before you could take a step forward Taiju’s thick arm draped itself across your shoulder. You stilled, tension gripping your body. He hadn’t changed his mind about letting you go home, had he?

“You better start working on a convincing story now,” his voice was husky in your ear, dripping with barely concealed lust that was enough to reignite your panic. He brushed your hair to one side, placing a lingering open mouthed kiss in the dip of your neck. A shiver rocked you as his lips languidly sucked at your sensitive skin, intent on leaving one final mark.

“Tomorrow I’m not letting you leave. You’re staying the whole night with me.”

His hold was not so tight that you couldn’t pull away, yet you found yourself unable to move. One part of you was begging you to run, get out of this place and sprint down the street without looking back. Once you were in the safety of your own home, he couldn’t get you. Just like with the bullies of your childhood, once you passed the threshold of your house, you were invincible.

But a bigger, bitterer part of you laughed at that naivety. You understood now why Yuzuha had looked at you so forlornly. She knew better than anyone once you were in Taiju’s possession that there was no escaping.

“Yeah,” you were quick to wipe a tear from your eye, taking a steadying breath before you continued.

“I look forward to it.”

[chrisevansredbelt]

The Snow Maiden: Two

read chapter 1 here!

pairing: bucky x reader, bucky x hydraexperiment!reader , bucky x enhanced!reader

warnings: not that much here i don’t think. maybe like mention of missing persons. kidnapping… uhhh hmm i think that’s it.

i’m sorry this chapter feels very short but i promise it’s juicy and a lot to unpack inside 🫣

summary: one very big step closer to finding out who the girl is? perhaps…

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After a moment of confused stares and glances between Steve and Tony, Steve speaks cautiously in a manner not to scare Bucky into thinking they don’t believe him or anything like that.

“How do you know?”

“The dream.” Is all he mutters out in response, a far off look in his eyes as he recounts the events in his dreams that turn up foggy in his mind. Squinting a little in frustration at how little he remembers even though he’d woken up less then 2 minutes ago, “I think- maybe, they tried to wipe my memories of her when they took her away.”

“They took her away?” Tony interjects, raised brows as he tries to piece out the puzzle.

“I don’t know-“ Bucky shakes his head, “In the dream, she was yelling for me… Like she was being taken.”

Tony just nods, taking note of the name before prompting Bucky to add more, “Anything else?”

Bucky thought for a second that he might mention the warm feeling he felt, her hands. But figured there wasn’t much they could probably do with that and they already knew about her hands. And maybe the warm feeling was just the thought of her… He doesn’t exactly know what he means by that. So he just shakes his head ‘no’.

Tony just nods, closing up the thick file in his hands that contained all the documents Steve had given him, plus the small scribble of the name ‘Y/N’, “I’ll let Fury know.”

And with that, Tony pulls out his phone and exits the lab.

It’s comfortably silent as Steve and Bucky sit across from each other now. Bucky deep in thought while Steve just waits patiently for Bucky to speak. After a while, Steve starts to notice the furrow in Bucky’s eyebrow deepen to a point where he grows a little concerned.

“Are you okay?” He breaks the silence in the room, making Bucky inhale quickly and come back down to earth.

“Yeah, yeah-“ He shakes his head, smiling shortly at Steve before sighing, “It’s not the worst dream I’ve had.”

He would’ve added a sly comment on how it was probably one of the better ones he’s had but that wasn’t exactly the mood at the moment.

Steve knew he was refraining from telling him what was really going on in his head. But that was okay, Steve was sure he was probably just overthinking.

Steve just offers a small smile in response before speaking, “I think- with what you’ve given us- we’ll be sure to find her in no time.”

Bucky had gone back to bed that night but it was no use. He tried to dream of her again, hoping to gather more information about her vicariously through his dreams but also because… something about the dream just made him feel warm.

It was so difficult to explain, but he just longed for that warmth so bad. The second he closed his eyes and felt the coldness of a nightmare start to build, he shot awake.

After a few more tries of dreaming that both led to one nightmare after the other, Bucky eventually gave up and found that it would soon be morning anyway.

-

When it was a more decent time of the morning, Bucky had made his way down to the compound gym before showering and making himself breakfast.

Halfway through eating, Steve had clapped him on the shoulder with a hopeful look on his face and signalled for Bucky to follow him.

Bucky had followed almost instantly, trailing behind Steve as he guided him through the compound on an all too familiar route to Tony’s lab.

Entering through the open door, Bucky eyed Tony and Banner momentarily before his eyes flew to the screen in front of him. Many pictures of a young girls face blown up on the screen, a missing child poster and a rendition of one of the photos made to look like what said girl would look like if she was older.

“Y/F/N. Missing since she was 10 years old, kidnapped on her way to school in Voronezh, Russia. Presumed dead. No father, mother died of pneumonia a year after the loss of the child.” Tony reads off his computer, looking cautiously at Bucky before pursing his lips and finalising, “No remaining family.”

Well, they at least had their motive as to why she was specifically kidnapped. No remaining family to mourn for her loss and maintain her case.

All three men watch as Bucky scans the projector a mile a minute. Steve is the first to speak to him, “Recognise her?”

Bucky just nods quickly, eyes never leaving the screen- as if scared she won’t be there if he takes his eyes away, “That’s her.” He confirms. He remembered. Well, he still didn’t know exactly who she was, but he knew it was her, “I-Is there anything else?” He asks Tony, a hint of desperation in his voice that only Steve caught on.

“Nothing on her whereabouts now.” Tony shakes his head, “But with a name and a face, shouldn’t be too hard.”

Whether that meant to infiltrate hundreds of abandoned bases to find information, to travel to Sokovia or Russia and conduct a man hunt by his lonesome, Bucky didn’t care. He didn’t know why, but something inside him ached for him to find her.

To find you.

-

Bucky had since gone off with Steve to do some more intense research on current data they had on Hydra bases they’d raided previously. They didn’t exactly know what they were looking for, anything really though. Anything that hinted to her whereabouts, maybe where she was held, any missions reports she’d been on, testings conducted. Anything.

In the meantime, Tony had continued sifting through the police reports and the missing persons case that had long been closed. There wasn’t much evidence aside from a few statements, possible connections to other missing child’s cases and a few conspiracies but that was it.

So Tony had a bit of work ahead of him. He would have to look through hundreds more reports of missing children’s, then all their evidences, then the timeline, then possible sightings, then location points. It was a lot.

And considering his area of research was Russia, who better to help him than the Russian herself?

She would translate a lot for him, most documents he needed being in Russian and all.

So now, as Natasha sits and scribbles the translation of a document in front of her, Tony stares aimlessly at the projection in front of him still showing the pictures he had shown Bucky early this morning.

“You don’t recognise her at all, do you?” He suddenly asks Natasha, the thought popping into his head intrusively. He figured not otherwise he’s sure she would’ve said something, but just to be safe he thought he’d ask anyway.

Natasha just looks up at him before darting her eyes briefly to the screen, “No.” She shakes her head, glancing up at Tony every so often as she reverts her eyes back to the paper in front of her, “Why?”

Tony just shrugs, “It’s just so strange how similar you too are.” He begins to search on his computer, entering different files before opening up the security footage from the convenience store- replaying and slowing down the clips of the girl fighting. He watches the same extraction about 7 times before turning to Natasha, “You would think, if they’d only had her captive in Hydra that she’d fight more like Bucky.”

Natasha can only blink dumbly and shrug, “I-I don’t know.”

Her weak answer falls on deaf ears as Tony continues to watch the video, focusing on a different part now. It’s silent once again for a while before he speaks, “Maybe when Bucky went down and trained you, she went along too.” He concludes thoughtfully, seemingly proud of his answer.

“Maybe.” Natasha nods.

Tony looks directly at her now, only just noticing her strangely short responses to all of his questions. But as she continues to translate the document in front of her for him, he just shrugs it off, figuring he probably pulled her out of her focus.

Yep. That was definitely the reason.

-

Steve and Bucky hadn’t come up with much. Only one document that had briefly mentioned a female as part of a possible serum test run but said female was only referred to as ‘The Girl’ and other than that had little to no physical descriptors on her appearance or identity.

They did however find other things of particular concern that they would maybe create seperate, unrelated missions for in the near future, so it’s not like their search was completely useless by the end of the night.

But after so many hours of reading what felt like the same group of words over and over, Bucky was glad to be finished for the night. He wasn’t sure where they would go on from there, what Tony had found (if he had found anything), but right now, all he hoped for was to sleep… and hopefully dream about the girl.

And luckily tonight, that’s exactly what he did.

“What’s the first thing you would do if you got out of here?” He asks her, paying no mind to the way her thumb comes up to rest in the indent of his chin. Warmth.

Were they cuddling?

“Burn the place down with everyone inside.” She says simply, softly biting her lip to refrain from smiling as Bucky softly laughs.

He didn’t know he was capable of such emotion… not in there.

He squeezes her shoulder tighter, whispering, “Then what?”

She thinks seriously now, a cute thinking face blessing his vision- again, he didn’t think anything so beautiful was possible to be seen in here.

“Maybe…” She hums quietly, music to his ears. “Maybe touch the grass.”

He just nods softly. Understandable. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen, let alone touch, grass- or any kind of nature for that matter. Unless, of course, concrete and metal counts.

But it’s not the exact answer he’s looking for.

“And then what?” He continues, “Where would you go? If you could go anywhere?”

“Home.” She answers, without a moments hesitation, “But considering they probably blew up my house, then…” She thinks to herself again, smiling softly as a memory fills her mind- one of very few that she’s managed to keep very close to her heart, “My mother took me to Romania a lot, we always stayed at NF Palace in Old City… I would go there. I’d ask to live there.” She explains, looking up at the miserable ceiling above their heads before resting her head back against his chest, “What about you?”

“Home.” He repeats her same answer, “America.”

“How would you get there?”

“Any way I can.” Flashes of Steve, the Commando’s, Rebecca flashed his mind and for a second, Bucky’s conscious mind worried this would turn into some sinister nightmare.

“Take me with you?” She asks softly, voice so small.

Bucky can’t help the heat that he feels upon his cheeks,“What about Romania?”

“Romania wouldn’t have you.” She just shrugs simply, before flashing a familiar smile up at him.

Warm.

Bucky wanted to die the moment he woke up at whatever ungodly hour he didn’t care to check. It was 4am.

He rubbed his eyes so hard he saw stars, almost trying to engrave the dream into his brain somehow. It all felt so real. Her touch, her laugh.

Sliding his hands down his face, he eyed the charging laptop on his bedside table before reaching for it and opening it up on his lap.

Immediate regret shot him in the face as the brightness of his screen blinded him. But he just squinted and carried on. Hurried fingers typed frantically into google, scared if he wasted even a second that he’d forget.

Google Search: NF Palace, Old City Bucharest

He had typed into the search bar, eyes scanning the result that Google had given him.

A 3.6 star hotel in Romania… ‘Permanently Closed.’

Bucky didn’t go back to sleep after his discovery. Surprise, surprise.

No, he’d stayed awake and paced all around his room before doing some more digging on the hotel. Permanently closed yet still standing. Abandoned. Still fully furnished.

He hardly waited for everyone to get settled into their day once it had hit a reasonable time for everyone to wake up. No, he had practically stood at Steve’s door until he came out of the shower and asked if he could call an emergency meeting with Tony.

Which, surprisingly, led to now. A disgruntled Tony and a worried Steve staring at Bucky as he holds his laptop.

“I think I know where she is.” He finally exhales, seemingly releasing a breath he had been bottling up ever since he woke up at 4am.

“What?” Tony yawns, rubbing his eyes as Bucky shoves the laptop in his unsuspecting hands.

“I think she’s here.”

Tony squints and blinks his eyes, adjusting to intrusion of blinding light before coming to his senses. Steve leans over to look as well.

“Romania?” He asks, looking up at Bucky.

Before he can respond, Tony asks tiredly and thoroughly confused, “How would she have gotten out of Sokovia?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky shrugs, “I just feel like she’s there.”

“How-“

“Another dream.” He quickly answers, a little frightened at the possibility that they don’t believe him, “I know it sounds crazy-“

“Okay.” Steve interrupts him, nodding, making Tony turn to him even more confused… it’s too early for this shit, “Okay, we’ll head out tomorrow morning.”

Though Tony was still very confused and… half asleep, he took Steve’s word for it. Anything to get back to bed.

Steve saw the desperation in his best friends eyes. He knew this was obviously important to him, saw how much it was eating away at him despite only being presented with the case two days ago.

Though he didn’t know why this was so important, what the girl had meant to him, or what he remembered, he knew he had to trust Bucky on this one.

-

True to Steve’s word, they had left first thing the next morning. The mission was labeled an emergency and Sam, Natasha and Clint were all called to join Steve, Tony and Bucky on the mission.

No one really complained at the sudden mission, it was nice to get out and travel once in a while and it’s not like they were entering dangerous and violent territory. If all goes to plan, this should be pretty easy. Get in, find the girl, get out.

The flight to Romania was pretty long but nothing they hadn’t dealt with before and it wasn’t long before they were landing in a safe house out in the open fields of countryside Romania.

It was night time when they’d landed so they had all unanimously agreed to begin the search first thing in the morning.

-

The rain was what awoke the team up from their deep slumbers- the jet lag quickly kicking in as their bodies and minds confused each other at the sudden change in time difference and temperature.

It was definitely much colder in Romania.

Doing their best not to look like a threat to the community, they had dressed in usual, winter attire with vests and weapons underneath.

The car that Tony hired coming in handy as they made their 40 minute drive into the city of Bucharest.

Despite the drowsy weather, the city still looked so beautiful.

Bucky had barely taken his eyes off from out the window, somewhat hoping he would miraculously spot the girl walking along the street.

It wasn’t until Tony had pulled up to the destination that Bucky felt the adrenaline kick in.

The front door of the abandoned hotel was dead bolted and chained up, boarded with wooden plans and rusty nails. So they opted for a back entrance.

Slowly and carefully, they each made their way inside the seemingly fragile building. Even from the inside they still felt the strong winds making its way from the outside and there were points in the ceiling where the rain slipped through.

Bucky’s heart picked up when he saw a bucket placed underneath a leak. Sign of life. Inhabitance.

“God, look at this place.” Tony whispered, eyeing the luxurious furniture that still inhabited the building despite its abandonment.

Golds and velvet reds, Persian rugs and chandeliers, painted ceilings of renaissance artwork.

Natasha’s sharp gasp made everyone whip around and reach for their guns, eyes following to where her gaze followed a small group of mice that scurried past her feet.

“Guests are a rowdy bunch.” Tony joked before moving forward.

Every further step they took without so much as a creak in the wood and the squeak of another mouse, Bucky lost an ounce of hope.

“Seems pretty empty.” Tony sighs, “If she was here, she would’ve heard us by now.” Voicing nearly everyone’s thoughts.

A soft, barely audible intake of breath was heard from behind them yet again and they all stopped and turned expectantly to Natasha… who only looked up at them all confused as she hadn’t said or done anything.

Steve flashed his torch behind them, momentarily lighting up the stunned face of a (seemingly) deer in the headlights.

It was Bucky’s turn to gasp now as his eyes landed upon a very familiar face.

Y/N.

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OMGGGGGGG dramaaaaaaaa eeee i’m so glad you guys enjoyed the first part of this and i’m so excited to continue writing the rest of this story!!

requested taglist: @catleen9 @impoeticbeauty

[traumxrei-archive]

【 chapter 2 - snow day (mis)adventures ! 】

author's note: snow day ! snow day !! fun fact, i've only ever seen real snow like. twice in my life. so this chapter is me vicariously living through yuu n cheka playing in the snow together jsdkfsjf (slight warning: non-graphic depictions of injuries + blood in the latter half of the chapter + omake)

word count: 4.5k

tags: leona hates the snow, yuu best babysitter in the entirety of twisted wonderland, grim is a gremlin...a grim-lin, if you will, cheka and his A+ naming skills, some whump bc i wanted whump-

[ baby it's cold outside series | read it on ao3 ]

“Thank you for letting us play in the snow Ojitan!” Cheka said cheerily as Yuu grabbed another jacket from the princeling’s neatly packed suitcase. “It’s gonna be so fun, playing with Yuu-tan and Ojitan, ehehe~”

"Uhm...does this jacket just....go over the shirt?" Yuu glanced up at Leona, who was already all bundled up on his own, looking as haughty as ever from under his scarf.

"How the fuck would I know?" He said, clearly annoyed. "Just search it up online."

And Yuu felt this close to having a mental breakdown because they had been dressing Cheka for close to thirty minutes now. And Leona had been watching them struggle for thirty minutes with no signs of budging from his spot on the couch.

Okay, this was fine.

This was fine. They went through overblots multiple times before, so dressing a kid shouldn't be that hard. Except it was that hard, because they didn't want Cheka freezing over as soon as they stepped out the mirror. So bundling him up in two layers of shirts and two jackets was the best compromise they could do.

"Which hat would you like, little one?" Yuu held up the identical hats in different colors before handing Cheka the neon yellow one he was pointing to. He looked like a little highlighter with it on.

Even Leona snorted at it, "You look like a warning signal, brat."

"I like it!" Cheka pulled his ears through the little slits at the top of the hat and they moved slightly as they adjusted. "Papa gave me this one. Mama kinda hates it, but Papa thought it was cool."

"Of course Falena would pick that ugly ass hat."

"Language."

"My bad, that really ugly hat," Leona emphasized as he picked Cheka up by the hood. "Let's go already."

"I'll join you guys at the sports fields in a bit," Yuu said, tugging Vargas' hat onto their head as they got out of Savanaclaw mirror.

"Hah? Where the fuck are you going?" Leona looked like he didn't like the idea of being left alone with Cheka for any amount of time, no matter how little.

"I'm also in charge of keeping the fire lit at school," Yuu patted Leona on the shoulder. "I'll be gone for ten minutes, it won't be that bad."

"Mhm! I'll keep you company!" Cheka said cheerily, still swinging his legs in the air. Thank the Seven Cheka couldn't see Leona's expression because he looked downright murderous.

"Unless you want to trek all the way to the school building in this weather?" Yuu raised an eyebrow in challenge. Leona's ears flicked in annoyance, but he silently walked towards the sports fields with Cheka in hand.

Yuu started the chilly walk all the way to the main building. Everything felt a little too quiet without the sounds of students bustling around. Even Sam's shop was dark for once. After shaking off the snow, they walked into the school to find Grim already dragging firewood to the fireplace.

"Henchman! You're finally here," Grim cheered in relief. "I thought that you got killed by that lion guy, y’know!" They helped carry half of the logs Grim was carrying.

"Nah, I didn't. I just got turned into a babysitter for his nephew," Yuu patted Grim on the head before plopping the hat onto his head. "You wanna come play in the snow with us? You could invite the ghosts too if they're bored enough."

"Playing...in the snow?" Grim's eyes sparkled, akin to jewels. "Henchman! That's the best idea you've had in ages, y'know!"

"Make sure to go back and grab your jacket, I have a scarf for you and you can borrow my hat," Yuu instructed, before catching themself. Maybe taking care of Cheka had made them more...parent-like..? Though it wasn't such a bad feeling.

"Alright, alright, the Great Grim wouldn't forget about that stuff," Grim grumbled.

"Oh, and bring over any toys you find," Yuu said as they dragged the rest of the wood over to the fireplace. The fairies greeted them yet again, and they hovered around them, melting the snow that still clung to their clothes.

"Alright! The Great Grim will come to the fields with the ghosts in no time!" Grim waved at them excitedly. "Don't go anywhere, henchman!"

"Don't rush!" Yuu called after him, but it didn't seem like the monster was listening anymore. Well. They just hoped he wouldn't get lost in the snow or anything along the way.

Making their way to the sports fields, they were met with one annoyed Leona Kingscholar sitting inside of some sort of...snow trench while Cheka was busy digging out the snow around him. Yuu had to stifle a laugh at the sight because Leona's tail was stiff behind him as he sat and tried to remain composed.

"Don't laugh, servant," Leona hissed, probably having heard them coming. "This is your fault for leaving."

"My apologies, master of mine," Yuu sat down on the edge of the bank. "What are you building, little lion?"

"Oh, this is to protect Ojitan from the wind," Cheka said seriously as he kept digging with his little gloved hands.

"See, he was doing it for a good reason."

Leona growled, "I don't care. Get. Me. Out." Yuu held out a hand and Leona grabbed it as he got out of the hole.

Cheka whined, "But Ojitan, it's cold out there!"

"It's winter, it's cold everywhere," He grumbled before sighing. "I'm gonna sit over by the trees by the building." He squinted over at Yuu for a second, "Where the hell is your hat?"

"Hmm? Oh, I gave it to Grim," Yuu successfully tugged Cheka out of the hole and onto the snow. "He'll be joining us to play with the snow."

"Ugh, not another nuisance..."

"Who's Grim?"

Yuu gave a lopsided grin, "Well Grim is-"

"The most amazing wizard in this world!" Something pounced on their back, sending them face-first into the snow. "Nyehehe~ Henchman! I have arrived!"

Yuu brushed off the coldness of the snow, ignoring how their nose ached, "You. What did I tell you about jumping on people?"

"The Great Grim doesn't have to listen to a lowly human like you!"

"Well, I guess that means no tuna for you..."

"Funyah! That's evil, y'know! That's a violation of my righ- mmphhH-" Yuu wrapped Sam’s mini-scarf over the angry creature's mouth as they looked over at Cheka.

He sniffed at the air, "A kitty? But it doesn't smell like a kitty."

"Grim the Great is not a kitty! I am a- Funyah! S-stop p-petting me-"

Yuu let the mini petting zoo happen as they greeted the ghosts, "Hey guys, you doing okay?"

"Oh, so you didn't get eaten by a lion," The rotund ghost said before snickering.

"I can hear that," Leona suddenly complained from a few meters away. “And I wouldn’t eat them, they look like they’d taste bad.”

“Thanks, I guess..?” Yuu said, shrugging at the ghosts.

"We brought over a ball to play with," The wispy ghost brandished a round red ball.

There's a tug at their sleeve, "Yuu-tan! Your magic cat is so cool, it can breathe fire!"

"Grim, do not torch the future monarch please," Yuu strained to say, watching the defiant glare in the monster’s eyes. "How about we do a snowball fight instead? Please?"

There's a short silence before they all agree, some more begrudgingly than others, cough, Grim, cough. Then they were peacefully making snowballs, with Cheka and Yuu, and one ghost on one team and the remaining ghosts and Grim on the other.

"Just you wait, puny lion. I'm gonna hit you with the Grim Special snowball and you won't be able to dodge!" Ah, Grim and his one-sided rivalries with people. Yuu hoped he would never change.

On the other hand, the so-called puny lion was making some sort of weirdly shaped snowball. When Yuu had asked he whispered, "I'm making a heart snowball for Ojitan." The little whisper probably didn't go unnoticed by Leona, who was sitting a few feet away. But the older didn’t show any signs that he heard anything.

"That's really nice," Yuu gave the little lion some pats, which caused his tail to start flicking back and forth. "After this let's make a snow man so your Ojitan won't be lonely."

"Mm!" When Cheka handed over the heart snowball, Leona didn't even destroy it, placing it beside him next to the tree as he kept dozing. Which Yuu took to be a success on Cheka's part. They knew the older probably had a soft spot for his nephew somewhere inside that prickly heart of his.

The snowball fight commenced a few minutes after, with Leona being the reluctant referee, "Ugh, okay I'll count you off. If someone hits me, I'll hit them back twice as hard. So don't. Hit me." Yuu gulped at the venom in Leona's voice and Grim looked pale as he started counting off.

"Three..."

"Two..."

"One..."

"...Start."

Snowballs filled the air and Yuu was belatedly realizing that being on a team with more ghosts was advantageous because, well, they were ghosts. They couldn't get hit. Meanwhile, they were the biggest moving target in this whole playing field, since Cheka and Grim were smaller and harder to hit. (Plus, who would hit the two children? That was just mean.)

Yuu was being pummeled by a barrage of snowballs, the icy coldness seeping into their skin. But instead of feeling unpleasant, it made them feel alive.  Yuu let out a laugh when one of their snowballs hit Grim square in his fluffy face before choking on a snowball that one of the ghosts threw. Cheka was having a field day throwing snowballs, though more often than not it didn't really hit anyone. Even the ghosts made fake pained noises whenever Cheka would “hit” them. This had to be the most fun they've had in ages.

"Okay, okay! I call a truce!" Yuu shouted after a particular snowball slipped into the space between their neck and their jacket. "Great Seven my gloves are soaked through-" There was a last snowball pitched at their face and they stiffen, turning to the culprit.

"I-I-I didn't throw that! That wasn't me!"

Grim was slowly backing up when Cheka shouted, "It was definitely Grim-tan!!"

And Yuu ran at him as fast as they could with the snow weighing them down, hellbent on chasing the pseudo-cat. No way they would let him get away with something like that.

They caught him after a short while, plunging his face deep into the snow before smiling smugly, "That's what you get."

"Okay, maybe the snowball slipped out of my hand-" – Yuu flicked another piece of ice at the monster– "Funyah, f-fine I threw it. I'm s-sorry."

"It's okay Grim-tan," Cheka patted the monster. "My parents say that if you apologize right away then nothing bad will happen."

"Something bad already did happen, y'know," Grim mumbled, still shaking the snow from his fur. "Then? What will we do now?"

"Snowman! Snowman!" Cheka tugged at Yuu's hood, choking them slightly. "I wanna make one that looks like Ojitan!"

"Okay, okay, ow, alright let's make it over there," Yuu got up before Cheka could completely cut off the air circulation in their neck.

"Hmph, what is this snowman thing?" Grim said, eyeing the snowball in Yuu's hand curiously.

"It's when you build a snow person," Yuu started to pile together some snow. "You can decorate it with your scarf or hat, and you can make anything you'd like, basically."

"I'm gonna make one of myself," Grim said excitedly. The ghosts looked content to watch them work, so Yuu didn't bother them again.

"C'mon, let's make Ojitan!"

Yuu ended up becoming Cheka's personal shoveler as they built their Leona-inspired snowman; lovingly dubbed, Le-snow-na. Terrible name, they knew, but Cheka had the proudest smile on his face as he said it that Yuu and the ghosts couldn't do anything but nod and agree.

In the end, Le-snow-na looked more like a big blob of ice than Leona, but Yuu appreciated all the hard work that went into it. Cheka managed to shape two ears on the top of the head, with Yuu’s assistance. He wrapped a scarf around its neck, similar to what Leona was wearing. The little lion had a lot of attention to detail, with how he made strokes in the snow to mimic Leona’s wild mane.

"It's done! Let's go show him! Leona-oji-"

“Wait, wait!” Yuu apologetically shushed at him, "Uhm, I think he's asleep. Should we wait and show him when he's awake?"

"Oh, okay," Cheka smiled, and Yuu was once again reminded of what an angel he was. They still didn't understand why Leona quote-unquote hated the little guy so much. Maybe it was just because of how energetic the little guy was.

Grim was now preoccupied with the ball that the ghosts brought earlier after he had torched his Snow-Grim trying to give it fire ears. "Oi, henchman! Look at this shot!" And the ball sailed right above their head in a perfect arc, landing in the snow behind them.

"Nyehehe~ I call it the Great Grim Shot! I've been practicing for our next Spelldrive tournament!" Grim puffed out his chest proudly. "I don't wanna lose to that stinky lion bastard." They glanced over at Leona for a second before breathing a sigh of relief. He really was asleep. If he was awake then Grim would’ve been six feet deep in a snowy grave by now.

"I bet that was a one-off," Yuu teased, lobbing the ball back. "Do it again." Cheka also seemed excited to watch as Grim charged another Grim Shot.

This time luck wasn’t on Grim’s side. The ball went wild, flying a high arc right into the woods, which had Yuu snorting, "Guess you need more practice on that Grim Shot."

"I'll go get it!" Cheka said, bounding over to the woods.

"Hey, Cheka- And there he goes," Yuu brushed the snow from their jacket. "I'll go after him. You guys stay here."

It wasn't a long trek into the woods before they find a clearing where Cheka is.

"Yuu-tan! What's this fence?" Cheka was holding on to the ball in one arm, the fence with the other.

"Oh, that's the college's main fencing," Yuu surveyed the treeline that stretched out far on both sides. "I guess following this fence would lead to the front of the school."

"You mean that gate with the crow on the top?" Cheka frowned slightly, leaning against the bars of it. "That looked kinda scary. I saw it last time."

"Mhm. We should go back, Grim might be waiting for u-"

Yuu didn't get to finish before there was a loud cracking noise. Startled, Cheka backed away from the fence, just in time for Yuu to see the crack running down to the fence's base.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck they had to move, or else the kid would get hurt.

Yuu grabbed Cheka, pushing him as far as they could away from the fence. There was a sickening snap before the fence fell.

Right onto them.

They managed to dodge far enough that it didn't get them in their head, but they couldn't help the sharp yelp they released as it trapped their leg against the snow. The explosive bout of pain almost made them scream, but they bit their lip instead.

Shit. What kind of bad luck was this?

"Y-Yuu-tan..." Cheka's face looked pale.

Yuu opened their arms, letting him cling onto them, "It's okay, I'm alright, it's just my leg that's trapped."

"Uwah!! Yuu-tan got hurt because of me-!" The child's shoulders shook as he started to cry. Yuu bit their lip, stroking at his hair. They really had to commend Crowley and the college for not doing regular maintenance on the fence this far out. If they had then maybe all of this wouldn’t have happened.

"Don't cry," Yuu tried. Comforting wasn’t their strongest suit, so they hoped that was enough. "I'll be okay, we just need some help." It seemed some of their prayers were answered when Grim and the ghosts came soon after.

Grim's brow was furrowed as he headed towards them, "W-what happened? Oi, henchman! Answer me now!"

"Uh...the fence fell?"

"I CAN SEE THAT!" Grim yelled, stomping a foot on the ground. "How'd you get caught up in it!"

"Shh! Just...help me get out of here, please," Yuu pleaded. "Cheka, go to the ghosts, I'll be out of here in no time." The little lion nodded, going over to where the ghosts were, tears still tracking down his face.

"I know your self-preservation skills are practically non-existent at this point," Grim deadpanned. "But ya really wanna die because of a fence of all things?" The comment only served to make Cheka sob even louder.

Yuu glared at Grim because why would he even say that in front of a crying child– before going back to trying to wiggle their leg out from under the fence. They definitely sprained something and at worst, they broke something. But that was to be expected with how heavy it was. They managed to get most of their thigh out, while Grim was melting the snow with his fire magic to make the slide easier.

"C'mon I have to get out of here before Leona notices-"

"Before Leona notices what? " Yuu froze, turning to see Leona walking through the bushes. "Seriously, what the hell are you herbivores yapping on abo-" Green eyes narrowed, immediately surveying the scene and Yuu knew deep inside that they were fucked.

A crying, inconsolable Cheka? Check. Grim melting the snow with his fire magic? Check. And Yuu with their leg stuck under a fence? Also, check. Everything that would point to irritating, no, angering Leona was present at that moment.

Leona's nostrils flared as he walked over to where they were, "What the hell happened here, huh? You gonna answer me, servant? "

"Well-"

"I-It's all my fault!" Cheka wailed. "I-I didn't mean to. I touched the fence, it fell, and Yuu-tan...Yuu-tan, waaaahhh!!" Thankfully that was enough for Leona to piece together what happened. Yuu just gave him an awkward smile as he removed his glove.

"Kneel before me. King's Roar," He pressed a hand against the fence, and it immediately turned into sand. They breathed a sigh of relief, checking on their leg. Thank the Seven for Leona and his unique magic.

"Y-your leg is bleeding, y'know!" Grim exclaimed and huh, he was right. There was a scratch where the sharpness of the fencing tore through their pants.

"At least nothing's too broken...?"

"That's the worst excuse I've ever heard," There was an arm beneath their shoulders and they were hoisted up effortlessly. "Come, brat, we're going home." And there was a sting of envy and admiration at how strong Leona Kingscholar was as he let Cheka crawl up into his arms. He was carrying one whole person and a kid, in the snow, all without batting an eye.

"What stupid things are you thinking now, herbivore?" Leone gave them the side eye. Yuu pressed their lips together, opting not to say anything. He definitely would not appreciate them practically ogling his strength in this kind of situation.

"Y-you better treat them well," Grim called out. "I'll be checking on them tomorrow!!"

Leona kept walking, unfazed by the threat, "I don't think you should be doubting my magic powers, cat."

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I am not -"

The ghosts had the foresight to clamp down on Grim's mouth, "We'll get going too. Hope it gets better soon, Yuu."

"Thanks," They said, still awkwardly clutching at Leona's shoulder. Now to make it through the night without Leona metaphorically and physically murdering them in cold blood...

[ omake : you broke rule number two ]

See, this was why he never liked herbivores. They were weak. They couldn't even protect themselves. They were also troublesome to watch over. He could spend the time he spent watching them sleeping instead. And this herbivore, in particular, had quite the streak with danger for someone who had no magic of their own.

It was silent save for the brat's sniffling. It seemed he got really scared, and can Leona blame him? No. He had to fight not to let his worry show when he saw them with their leg trapped underneath a fence that big. A crackle of magic seared at his finger tips when his worry made way for anger. How dare they get injured in the short time he fell asleep? Were they really that eager for him to get angry?

"Yuu-tan...I'm sorry," Leona looked down at Cheka's snot-filled face. It was getting all over his jacket, but he couldn't quite bring himself to be annoyed by it. Not when he had something else to direct his annoyances onto.

"It's okay, the fence is probably hundreds of years old so it's not your fault," Their voice was still effortlessly kind even after almost being turned flat by a fence.

"The one whose leg might be broken should shut up," Leona said as they finally made it to Savanaclaw. "You're not off the hook yet, herbivore." He could hear loud and clear the way their heart rate spiked at his warning.

As soon as they got to his room, Cheka jumped off and went into a corner on his own. "Don't forget to change out of your clothes, brat," Leona called after him. "You're big enough to do it on your own, yeah?"

There was a muffled sound of agreement as he took the herbivore to the bathroom. He sat them down on the toilet as well as he could before he sighed.

"C'mon. Strip," Leona tugged at their pants. "I can't see the wound if your pants are on. And you're sopping wet."

"What? You-"

Leona sighed, irritated, "Quickly, or else I'll let you sleep with that injury." That got them scrambling. He wasn't being serious, but he needed to examine the wound as fast as possible.

"C-could you at least turn around?" They squeaked out and Leona just turned; exasperated. It wasn't worth arguing right now. There was rattling and he fought the urge to turn around and see if maybe they had found a way to endanger themself from the toilet of all places.

"I'm done." He turned only to be met with the sight of their battered-looking leg. There was a large darkening bruise on their calf, and coupled with the sizable scratch, it looked like a really bad injury. That had Leona frowning.

His hand hovered over the bruised part, "I'm gonna check if it's broken. If it hurts too much you say something." He pressed down as firm as he could and his ears twitched at the sound of a sharp inhale.

"Ow, okay, it hurts there," There's a hand squeezing at his shoulder. "Leo‐ ah—!" He looked up in time to see them stifling a cry. There was something uncomfortable in his chest when he saw them in pain. He...disliked it. He disliked it a lot.

He tried to keep his expression straight as he spoke, "It might be fractured. Which is fine, I know how to fix that."

He pulled out his magic pen, placing a gentler touch against their leg. The spells of healing rested gently at the tip of his tongue, cascading from his lips in a hushed murmur. He had used them countless of times on himself— for spelldrive accidents and scrapes, or even for the aftermaths of fights he got dragged into. But it was a new experience to use it on someone else. And not one he ever wanted to repeat, especially not with the prefect.

"Oi, you're done," Leona pulled his hand away. "Tomorrow you should be fine. But don't walk around too much tonight."

"Thank you," They said meekly and it sent another shot of irrational anger into his system. He was mad, sure, but not at them. He was angrier at himself for being unable to keep them from getting hurt more than anything else. It might seem like an overreaction to anyone else, but if he couldn't even protect one herbivore, how could he protect everything else he cared about?

"You've got quite the nerve," Leona said quietly. "You broke rule number two on the second day you've been my servant."

Their brows furrowed, "But Cheka didn't get hurt. I did." He almost wanted to laugh at how unaware they were. Did they really think he thought that little of their value? Of course. Of course they would, with that naïveté of theirs.

"Didn't I tell you I don't like dealing with hurt people?" He ruffled their hair, vexed that someone as smart as them didn't get it. "That includes you, dumbass herbivore."

And before they could protest he cut them off, "I'll get you clothes. Wait."

He left the room to see the kid sitting at the foot of the bed, messily changed. His ears perked up, "I-Is Yuu-tan okay? They're okay, right?" Little hands clung to his pants as he grabbed the clothes thought would fit.

"Here," He turned to Cheka, placing the clothes in his arms. "Give it to them and wait for them to change. After they're done you can apologize again.

"And I know it's not your fault," Leona paused, placing a hand on the kid's head. "I'm sure they think the same." Cheka trotted into the bathroom, tail high in the air. Kids and herbivores really were tiring…

A couple of minutes later, the kid walked out, crashing into his bed looking pleased. Then the herbivore followed, significantly less soaked and in the clothes he chose. Which may or may not have elicited a pleased noise in the back of his throat; one he played off into a yawn.

"Yuu-tan said the same thing you said, ojitan," Cheka declared loudly as the herbivore sat down as well. He grunted noncommittally as the little brat leaned against his back, continuing to look over his work.

"Oi, you two," Leona's gaze slid over the two, and there was a shift in the air. "No more getting hurt. Or else I'll eat you for dinner, alright?" He thought maybe the brat would get scared but instead, Cheka jumped to clamber on his shoulders.

"Leona-ojitan is so nice," He giggled as Leona picked him up by the shirt, placing him back down on the bed. How did the brat think he was nice after he threatened to eat him? Leona just couldn't understand him at all.

"He's my warm-hearted master," The herbivore added and Leona felt a headache growing. "Of course he would care for you, little master." And ah, maybe he should've put them to sleep earlier with a spell while he was at it. Now Cheka was in a talkative mood, and— look at that. The herbivore was smiling. Smiling, of all things. He would be lying if he said it didn't make him feel better seeing that after what happened, but he still smacked them both with his tail in retaliation. It was only right that he showed them who the boss was around here.

thanks for reading their snow day shenanigans (i love me some whump) ! comments and rbs are always appreciated <3 if you'd like to read more, check out my ao3 + masterlist !

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[yunoysl]

Wanna be yours | jjh

Summary: having an attractive roommate is one thing, but being friends with benefits with them is something that is bound to go wrong.

Pairing: roommate!jaehyun x fem!reader

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: masterbation, sexual tension, voyeurism?, unprotected sex, bulge kink, creampie, not completely proofread!

When you first asked your friend group if there was anyone they knew that needed a place to stay, you didn’t expect for him to be insanely attractive, and you also didn’t expect to become friends with benefits with him. You’re not complaining—he’s AMAZING in bed. Not just is the foreplay good and have you riled up and wet within a few minutes, but the degrading and aftercare have you wanting more.

“Y/N, are you going to workout with me today?”

“No, I’m too tired today” you tell him as you pick up a popsicle from the freezer. “I’ll just watch you workout and do it vicariously through you”

“Well alright, you won’t get the results you want but whatever suits you” he tells you as he sets his exercise mat in the living room.

“Aren’t you gonna take off your shirt?”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you” you would slap that smirk off his face if you could.

“Jaehyun!”

“I’m joking calm down, and no, I do that later on when I start getting really sweaty”

“Oh, well then carry on”

You decide to go on your phone so you don’t have to watching him and inflating his ego by having him reaping with something obnoxious like “take a picture so you can use it for later”

You were so preoccupied, scrolling through your social media and texting back and fourth with your friends. When you looked up you didn’t expect to see the imprint of his cock in his grey sweats. Yes, Jaehyun was big, very very big, but you never thought it was to the point where you could very clearly see the imprint of him in his sweats—and his sweats are nowhere near being tight fitting, so it’s definitely taking you by surprise.

You were in a trance—watching him lift weights, the way the veins in his hands popped out had you swallowing. He could easily manhandle you however he wanted. You couldn’t stop staring at his crotch.

Jaehyun’s grunts are what bring you back to earth.

You decide to get up and leave before you do something stupid.

You weren’t aware, but Jaehyun knew you were staring. And yes, it did inflate his ego, which is not what you wanted.

You left Jaehyun alone to help your best friend with her wedding. You didn’t think you would enjoy it at first—expecting it to be boring and drag on a long time and praying for it to end, but you were actually having a really fun time. You liked helping her pick out what kind of flowers to have, what kind of dress she would like to have for the braidsmaids, and you were especially excited for the cake tasting.

“So Y/N, how have you and Jaehyun been doing?”

Her question took you by big surprise. She obviously is aware about what you have going on with your so called hot roommate Jaehyun who you now have a friends with benefits relationship with—she’s the one who suggested him be your roommate.

“We’re good, still living together”

“Still fucking?”

“Umm, not as much anymore”

“Not as much? What? Were you doing it every day”

“Not everyday, don’t be insane. Three times a week at the most” you would definitely do it everyday with him, heck even he has suggested to do it everyday, but you don’t have the kind of stamina that he has.

“Have you made a move?”

“I don’t like him”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him, it’s very obvious there’s some feelings there. I’m your best friend you can’t hide things from me” Of course you should’ve known that you can’t keep anything from her. The amount of times she has figured things out without you even telling her.

“Well if nothings going on, is he seeing someone?”

“Why would he be seeing someone?”

“Because you two aren’t dating? If you don’t make a move on him someone else will” you hate that the thought of him seeing someone had you not only upset but also jealous, wanting to fight whoever she is—wait she doesn’t even exist. You’re going crazy, he’s making you crazy.

“Can we talk about something else besides my lack of a love life” she smiles teasingly at you, almost in an evil way, knowing she hit a nerve with the question of him being with someone that’s not you.

“It wouldn’t be lacking if you stopped being stubborn, but fine. So, did you like the marble cake or the chocolate champagne more?”

You’re currently in the kitchen doing dishes. Today is your turn to do the dishes but you actually don’t mind it, you find it calming and relaxing. The room is very quiet considering Jaehyun isn’t there to bother you every 5 minutes by poking your cheeks to tell you he’s bored and to pay attention to him. Of course peace and quiet doesn’t last long living with Jung Jaehyun, as he soon steps into the kitchen wearing just a towel- wait, he’s wearing just a towel!

“Why are you wearing just a towel?!” You squeak as you cover your eyes with the lose towel hanging off a chair.

“I just took a shower” you felt Jaehyun’s presence, assuring you that he’s now behind you. “And why are you covering your eyes, you’ve seen me naked already”

“Jaehyun, that gross”

“That’s not what you usually say when I’m plowing you into my bed”

“Jaehyun I will kill you”

“Okay I’ll stop teasing you, for now. Do we still have the ice cream cake from Jeno’s birthday”

“That was over a month ago”

“Food is food” he’s staring at you wanting for you to answer his question.

“Gross, it’s in the freezer”

He hurries to the freezer, eager to have something sweet in his mouth. Of course he would prefer if it was you, but he’ll take what he can get.

“Are you sure you should be eating it?”

“Mind your business” he playfully snaps at you.

“If you need to go to the doctor because of it I’m not taking you” rolling his eyes in fake annoyance, he dives right into the last bit of cake there’s left.

You go back to washing the last few dishes there are left, not sparing Jaehyun a glance.

When you finally finish you’re relieved, excited to have one thing from your to do list done.

You notice Jaehyun in his own world, living his best life with the Oreo ice cream cake.

He licks the frosting off from his fingers, the veins in his hand popping out and having you feeling a type of way. You swallow, the sexual frustration getting the best of you as you imagine what his fingers could be doing. And it doesn’t help that he’s still in just a towel. You swear he’s doing it on purpose.

“Enjoying the show?” Jaehyun’s voice bring you back, seeing the way his eyes have darkened with lust now.

“N-No I’m fine” your voice shakes. Damn it.

“I don’t think you are” he walks towards you until he’s towering over you.

“You don’t know anything”

“No, but I do know you would love it if my fingers were licking someone sweeter that isn’t frosting, is that right? Or would you prefer is they were somewhere else? Somewhere that’s probably soaking wet?” He pulls your bottom lip with his thumb, making you suck on him. The way your tongue circles around him has him getting instantly hard. The eye contact you two told has your legs almost shaking.

You finally come to your senses, taking his fingers out of you mouth and running to your bedroom, painfully horny.

When you lay on your bed, you don’t waste much time you shove your fingers inside of you, wishing and imagination that it was Jaehyun’s fingers instead of yours. You quickly pump your fingers in and out, closing your eyes and picturing Jaehyun on top of you, enjoying the sight of your moans escaping your lips as he gets you off with just his fingers. Your trying your best to keep your moans low, feeling your climax about to wash over you. A few more pumps is all it takes to have your body shaking, your climax hitting you like a waterfall.

You didn’t check to make sure the door was all the way shut, making Jaehyun see and hear everything.

The sight of you getting yourself off with your fingers has him painfully hard. Jaehyun has to shower again, but this time not because he’s dirty or anything.

Jaehyun wraps his hand around his hard and angry cock, pumping up and down rapidly to reach his high. Is he ashamed to be getting off to the sight of his incredibly hot roommate? No, and it’s also not the first time, nor does he think it will be the last. He twists his hand to get off quickly, not wanting you to find out he showered again after already taking one not even two hours ago and questioning him.

You’re so fucking hot it makes him horny.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” he gasps as the cold water hits his body. He pumps faster, his vision getting blurry as he releases onto the shower floor, the water washing it away and down the drain. He’s breathing heavily, acting like he actually just had sex. Now he actually does have to clean himself.

“Noooo” you whine to Jaehyun as he’s in the middle of picking out a movie to watch for movie night. “I don’t wanna watch a horror movie.”

“Why not? We watched one last week and you weren’t whining about it then”

“The ones you pick out are disturbing”

“Fine” he decides to play an action movie instead. “You’re such a baby”

“I hate you”

“Not what you were saying a few weeks ago”

“Just pick a movie” you leave him to make a bag of popcorn. When you come back he’s already sat on the couch, sitting there looking so cute and comfortable with his big grey hoodie and cheeks looking a lot like soft bread.

You remember the conversation you had with your best friend.

“What are you doing?” Jaehyun asks you when you sit on the other side of the couch away from him instead of making yourself comfortable in his arms like you usually do.

“I’m sitting down?”

“Nooo” he does grabby hands at you. “Come cuddle with me like you always do”

“And I’m the baby?”

“Just shut up and cuddle me” he pulls you into his side, laying his head on your shoulder and wrapping his hands around you.

You both really enjoyed the movie, Jaehyun occasionally making snarks remarks at the screen, but it’s not something new to you.

The movie finally ends, the ending credits rolling when he gets a call. He excuses himself to go to his room.

You figure you should clean up so you can head to bed and sleep. You’re walking past Jaehyun’s bedroom heading to yours when you pause, you don’t know what possessed you to listen in on his conversation, but you did.

“Are you going to make a move on her” you hear Johnny’s voice through the small gap in the door.

“I don’t know, I don’t even think she feels the same way” Jaehyun is sitting on his bed, rubbing his face in frustration. Whoever this girl is she must be special for him to be doing that. He’s usually someone who is good at hiding when he’s upset or frustrated.

“You’ll never know unless you tell her”

“Okay I will, soon”

Johnny’s loud sigh can be heard.

“I give up on you”

“How the hell are you sexually frustrated?” You’re on a video call with Mark. You all tell him everything, and when you first told him about the friends with benefits thing you started with Jaehyun, he wasn’t too happy about it, as you’re someone who easily catches feelings—remembering all the times you had fallen for someone new. It would be at the simplest gesture, like holding the door open for you or picking up your pen that fell on the floor.

“I just am. I haven’t done it with anyone in two weeks”

“Oh poor you” he’s mocking you, and you want to smack him in the face. “also, don’t you and Jaehyun have a thing going on?”

“Yeah- well we did”

“You did?”

“I overheard him talking with Johnny about having a crush and having feelings for this girl”

“Oh damn”

“Yeah, I just don’t wanna get in the way of that”

Mark isn’t able get anything out before you hear a knock at your door.

“Can we talk” Jaehyun’s voice is heard through the closed door.

“Oh, sure” you yell out to Jaehyun while hurrying to fix your hair. “Bye Mark”

“You’re hanging up on me? What happened to bros before hoe-“ you don’t let Mark finish his sentence.

“Come in” Jaehyun opens your door, and sits next to you on the bed.

“I wanted to walk to you about our relationship”

“I want to talk to you about that too. We should stop”

“What? Why?” He scared at you confused, wondering why you would want to stop something that was going so well—or so he thought.

“I know you like someone”

“You found out”

“Yeah. It was good while it lasted, but I don’t wanna get in the way of you and this girl-“

“Wait you really don’t know? You’re not just acting dumb to tease me?”

“Know what?”

“You’re the girl I like”

“Oh-OH!” You’re taken by complete shock. You never thought that someone like Jaehyun, who is so attractive and popular, would like someone like you. You thought the most you would have with him is sleeping together.

You both stare at each other before leaning in, your lips colliding. Your lips tangle with each other, tongues exploring each other’s mouths.

Jaehyun pulls away to kiss your neck, sucking and leaving mark’s on your skin.

“I’m going to make you feel like the most precious thing in the world” He starts kissing you again, pushing you down onto the bed and crawling on top of you. It doesn’t take long you you both to be naked. His gaze was dark and filled with lust. He rubs his tip up and down your slit before sinking into you. He gives you time to adjust before thrusting his hips repeatedly into you. The feeling this time is very different from all the others—usually it’s loveless and fast, eager to get each other to finish. But this time it’s full of love. He watches his cock go in and out of your pussy, the sight of you taking him making him even harder.

He thrusts into you harshly, sexually frustrated from you both not doing it for two weeks.

“Such a good girl for me” You clench around him as he ruts his cock into you. Jaehyun is smug, fueled by the fact that only he can make you feel this way. Quiet moans leave his lips while laying kisses on your neck.

“Fuck, you fill me up so well” You moan into his ear as he continuously sinks into you. You feel so full as his cock hits you in all the right places. His cock leaves a bulge in your lower tummy, having him almost passing out from the pleasure. Every moan you let out got him closer and closer to his high.

You both feel each other about to finish, making you wrap your hands around his neck for support as his pace starts to get sloppy.

“You’re going to take everything I give you, okay? Come all over my cock” Your whimpers have both of you finishing at the same time, his load filling you to the brim.

His warm cum coats your walls as you come down from your high. He pulls out once he’s done, starting at himself leaking out out of you. He puts up his shirt from the floor to clean you up, your pussy still sensitive from the penetration he just gave you.

Once he’s done he pulls you into his side, smiling at you and having his dimples pop out. You both get comfortable into bed, happy and excited for the new life you have together.

[trexrambling]

Hi! I’d like to request a drabble with the prompt “ you’re not a burden.”

It really resonates with me at the moment.

Thank you in advance ❤️

You'd never been able to contribute all that much. You knew you weren't as strong as Dean and Sam, as skilled with a weapon, as fast or as smart or as intuitive. But recently, it felt like all you'd been doing was dragging them down.

You wince as you dab at the cut on Dean's temple with a washcloth, and his hand catches your wrist.

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" He brings your arm down, meticulously scanning you for an injury he missed.

You blush in embarrassment and shake your head. "No, I'm good. This just looks so painful, I think my reflexes were living vicariously through you."

You can feel the creases in your face as you pull away from his grip and resume the task at hand. You can also feel Dean's heavy gaze on you, but you make a point to not look him in the eye.

"Is something wrong?" he pushes.

You force a smile. "No, I'm good. Seriously."

"Y/N."

The amount of gentleness he wraps around your name makes your chest constrict.

"I just... You got this because of me," you whisper, wiping one last spot of blood from his face and then clutching the cloth in your hand, eyes downcast.

"Wait, what?"

"I couldn't stop that vamp, and you had to swoop in and save my ass. Again. And you...you got hurt." You swallow, stand up and go place the rag in the motel's bathroom sink. "You're always having to make up for all my inefficiencies. I don't know why the hell you still bring me along." You lean against the laminate countertop, head hung low, not even wanting to look at your own reflection. "I'm just... I'm dead weight, Dean."

A silence follows your words, creating an open invitation for tears to well up in your eyes, the lack of his contradiction an affirmation to the burden you've always felt yourself to be.

"Hey, will you come here for a second?"

You look over your shoulder, see him pat the bedspread beside him, and it takes all of your effort to move your feet back across the small space. You settle gingerly on the edge of the bed, hands clasped tightly in your lap, and try to shut out the whirlwind of voices in your head without any success.

You're not good enough. You'll never be good enough. Do you really think Dean wants your help? That he needs your help? You're pathetic, a liability, the boys get hurt because of you. They don't really want you around. Do you really think that-

Dean's hand on your chin cuts the incessant stream off as he turns your head, catches your eyes with his. "I bring you along because I want you with me, Y/N."

"I'm just a burden, Dean-"

"You're not a burden," he says, his voice adamant. "Don't you think that for one second." His hand leaves your chin to brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear, then trails down your neck before settling on your shoulder. "You're learning more every day, getting better every day. "

"It's still not enough. You're always having to rescue me when I screw things up."

"You're being too hard on yourself. You're a lot better at this than you give yourself credit for." He squeezes your shoulder. "And I'll gladly rescue you. Any time, any day."

You're crying now, but not for the same reasons you would have a few moments ago. "I feel like that's too much to ask of you, of Sam."

"It's really not." He draws you into his side in a firm hug, kisses the top of your head. "Because you're worth it, okay? You're worth every second of it."

You will your heart to believe it, to believe him. To change the narrative you always play about yourself to reflect what Dean sees in you.

"You might have to remind me of that a few more times," you say quietly, leaning further into him.

He tightens his arm around you. "I can definitely do that."

-------------

If anyone has a wee Drabble request, I’m very much feeling this list of prompts right now and would love to do some writing! xo

[auroracalisto]

for the first time

summary: the reader finally sees her life in a new point of view, thanks to carlisle, who has helped her with her abusive husband, her baby girl luna, and her life in general.  

pairing: carlisle x female! married/widowed! abused! reader

word count: 1.6k words

warnings: female reader, married and eventually widowed reader, reader is abused by her husband, reader has the surname Wolf in this bc comedic reasons, reader has a child named Luna by said husband, mentions of murder, no depictions but carlisle definitely did the stabby stab (at least if that’s what you wanna assume he did), uhhh reader got them widow benefits by the end but that’s a story for another time, ALSO for some reason i put this in the year 2005 and it goes on to 2006/2007?  so this would technically be the same timeline as bella and edward meeting.  so first movie.  yes.  i love the technicalities of everything.  honestly didn’t mean for it to happen but it did so 

a/n: i have no words

Carlisle first had the honor of meeting you at your then-husband’s Christmas party.  It was December 20th, 2005.  Your child was most definitely due by the end of January.  You were quite literally glowing, and Carlisle believed you were the most beautiful thing he had seen in some time.  However, most of the beauty was because of your skill with makeup.  Without it, bruises galore would be revealed to the outside world, and your husband would not be too happy to find out that you showed off the newest shiner he gave to you. 

Even while pregnant, he did not care for your wellbeing.  Hell, he made it quite obvious that he would never care for the little girl growing in your midsection.  But even if he was a terrible prick, you decided to have this child.  Of course, maybe it would have been better for you to end the pregnancy early on.  However, a part of you didn’t want that.  A part of you wanted to have the baby and leave your husband.  Whichever order it came in would be fine.  But knowing now that it would be the latter made you nervous.  

The second time Carlisle saw you was in the middle of a grocery store, calming down your newborn baby.  Your husband had sent you out in the middle of February, just a month after giving birth.  You were alone, and everything was upsetting.  Your baby’s little cries caused your own tears to well up in your eyes.  

When the two of you made eye contact, you finally broke.  You didn’t want anyone to see you like that, and yet, here you were with your husband’s co-worker, crying in the middle of the bread aisle.  

“Mrs. Wolf, please.  Let me help you,” Carlisle softly said, leaving his buggy on the other side of you.  He came over, looking at your baby.  “I’ll get her to calm down.”

You took his word for it, allowing Carlisle to comfort your crying child.  “Please.  Don’t call me that.  [Your name] is fine.”

He watched you with soft eyes and nodded.  “And who is this?” he softly asked, looking down at the fussing infant.  Her eyes were shut and she never once had actual tears—one thing that never sat right with him was how babies couldn’t form tears until they were about two months old (sometimes even longer).  

“Luna,” you softly spoke, watching as your little girl started to calm down in his arms.  You sniffled softly, wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeve.  You should have been more careful, but you didn’t care at this point.  It was getting harder and harder to do this; if someone saw a bruise, someone saw a bruise.  

“That’s a beautiful name,” Carlisle spoke, looking back at you.  “She is very lucky to have you as a mother.”

By the third time Carlisle had properly talked to you, your husband had died.  Under mysterious circumstances, but he was gone.  And you couldn’t have been happier.  You had an idea of what had happened.  Especially when you once opened your eyes in the middle of the night to see a flash of blond hair.  But you drifted off back to sleep, not thinking anymore of it until the morning after when your husband was missing.  However, you never once said anything.  

Weeks after he had passed, you had hired a babysitter for the evening.  Carlisle’s two girls.  

And for once, you did not have to worry about the makeup covering your bruises.  In fact, you wore your makeup how you liked it instead of having to wear it to protect your dead husband.  You found yourself sitting in your car, in front of the hospital.  Alice had informed you that her adoptive father was currently at work—that he was constantly working, and he never once took a break.  

Maybe you should have just turned around.  Maybe you should have just left Washington, altogether.  But your legs started moving before you could stop them.  And once you saw Carlisle, you knew that you had to speak with him.  

You didn’t even have to say hello to him for the man to walk in your direction.  He smiled kindly at you, and you wanted to say something.  You desperately wanted to thank him for saving you, even if he never admitted it.  

But the words never found your tongue.  Your arms wrapped around the doctor, your face buried deep in his blue dress shirt and his white lab coat.  Carlisle had never been more grateful for not carrying his clipboard around.  He wrapped his arms around your body, holding you close.  

Although the two of you never said anything, one thing was clear; you were both grateful for each other’s existence.  Even if you lived vicariously through passing glances and thoughtful actions.  

Luna was nearly one by the time you decided enough was enough.  You were a widow, now.  You did not have to worry about what your husband would say.  And one thing was certain; the blond-haired doctor had your heart in more ways than one.  

He was so kind to you, always offering help and joyful smiles.  His conversations carried you through your long days and kept you awake at night as you thought of how you could tell him how you truly felt.  

But now, you knew enough was enough—you knew that you were not getting any younger, and neither was Carlisle (of course, because he was human—of course, you wouldn’t learn that until later).  You needed to talk to him.  You needed to take a course of action.  

You grabbed your keys, walking to your door.  Luna was babbling in her car seat.  You sat it down to get the door open, nearly jumping out of your skin when you saw Carlisle standing there, prepared to knock.  

He had a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a rather awkward smile.  

“My apologies... are you going somewhere?”

Your cheeks began to burn.  You sat your keys on the table beside your door, shaking your head.  “I was going to see you, actually.”

Luna giggled up at the man when he came into her line of vision.  She adored Carlisle.  

“Oh, that makes this easier then,” he let out a soft laugh, hesitantly holding out the flowers to you.  “These are for you.  I... I had asked Alice what your favorites were.  I hope you don’t mind.”

You smiled.  “No...  No, I don’t,” you said, clearing your throat.  You moved out of the doorway so that he could come into your house.  “I was hoping that.. well, I am hoping this now.  I’ve needed to talk to you.  For a while now.  I really, really need to just get this off my chest, you know?  I just—”

“—could I be of any assistance?” he chuckled softly.  “Perhaps I can find the words that you are searching for.”

You rolled your eyes, unable to keep your smile from forming.  “Carlisle, I’ve... loved you since before my husband died.  I know that for a fact, now.  And I... hope that you feel the same way.  About myself.  And Luna.  We’re a package deal, you know.”

He chuckled softly and nodded.  “I know that you are a package deal.  I... am very glad you feel that way, too.”

“Too?”

“Yes,” Carlisle smiled at you.  “I have loved you since the first time I have set eyes on you.”

You snorted out a laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.  “That long, huh?”

He just smiled, watching you with kind, golden eyes.  “There are many things I need to tell you, [Your name],” he said, finally shutting the front door behind of him.  He looked down at Luna and got her out of the carrier, especially when she happily reached for the man.  “Perhaps we can take this evening to talk?”

You smiled, nodding.  “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but yeah.  I’d like that.”

All of you made Carlisle’s beatless heart skip.  He could only hope that it was the opposite for you (he could definitely hear how fast your heart began to beat the closer he got to you).  Luna entertained herself with the buttons on Carlisle’s shirt while the two of you talked until she fell asleep against him.  

Perhaps it was that moment that you truly knew that you were in love with Carlisle.  No—that action only fortified your love for the man.  You knew you had loved him just as long as he had claimed to love you.  And for once, you were not afraid of what love could do. 

Because you believed you loved your deceased husband, you married him.  You slowly watched him become a horrible person.  And then you had Luna with him.  Of course, that was the one good thing that came out of him.  Perhaps the chance of meeting Carlisle as well.  

But you knew that now, the love you felt for Carlisle was as real as the infant in Carlisle’s arms.  And it would never burn like your last loveless love.  

For the first time, it felt like you were seeing yourself in a new light.  You were seeing everything from a different perspective.  And Carlisle allowed that.  Carlisle helped you find that.  

Even if he hadn’t have been there, you would have still found it.  However, you knew that he made it so much easier than it would have been.  

For the first time, you knew real love.  With Luna, and now with Carlisle.  

Despite everything that had happened to you, it seemed as though the universe was finally connecting the dots.  And you couldn’t wait to see what she was going to give you, next.