#and he wanted to right it / save what he couldnt. he doesnt NEED to be enchanted to believe in it.

[s0fter-sin]

sometimes i think about how much of a waste it was to just have cas ignoring sam’s prayers in s6 instead of him actually not being able to hear him bc he was soulless and his prayers didn’t work

[mobiues]

i have so many things to say about the confrontational pie scene but to surmise: while i may somewhat understand s1lvie's frustration over mobius' overall seemingly flippant attitude, i do not actually think mobius deserves to be framed as though he did not care abt the state of things simply because he chose not to seek how his life was like on the timeline. mobius' interest to not see how his life was like is well within his right, something he gave viable reason not to pursue, and, most importantly, will not have swayed him either way to fight for the life he has now and/or what the tva could stand for when the multiverse war is on its way. s1lvie's undermining his efforts was not okay when mobius opened season two with him wanting to safely monitor and defend new branches against strong, unsure voices like dox

[mxdotpng]

we. as a community. are severally lacking in anything about richard and asbel trying to kill each other.

EDIT: these tags have become less and less about asbel and richard killing each other. i am so sorry. do not ask me to speak about anything ever this is exactly what happens every time.

[enigmaris]

Reading a lot of DPxDC fics lately, heres my take on the Danny is Damian's twin AU:

Danny was injured to near death and left for dead by the League as a young boy. Ra's only wanted one heir and Danny was less bloodthirsty than Damian, so it was decided that Danny had to go.

Danny is found and taken to a hospital in Illinois, barely alive. He is saved and wakes up with basically no memories of where he was from and speaking a rare dialect of arabic that none of the cops investigating his case can identify. What words Danny does know in english are concerning so the cops figure Danny was being held by some sort of murder, death cult.

The investigation runs cold and Danny is sent to foster care once his injuries heal. He is then adopted by the fentons and moves to Amity Park. As he grows the only clear memories he has of his past is another boy his age who he felt safe with. He knows the other boy is important to him but not why. He cant even really remember his face, certainly not his name. Danny always felt shitty that he couldnt remember the other boy because if he did, then the cops would have rescued him from the murder death cult too. Instead the other boy is presumably there and getting hurt all the time like Danny was.

Danny gets his powers like normal at 14 and decides that now that he has superpowers he absolutely has to save that other boy. Sam and Tucker help him gather clues, he starts to remember a bit more. He remembers the word ahki and realizes that the other boy is his brother!! Which just really enhances Dannys need to save him from the murder death cult. Eventually Tucker finds a picture of Damian Wayne and Danny is like thats him. Thats my brother.

Wait.

Bruce Wayne is his brothers dad???

Bruce Wayne is a rich fruitloop like Vlad obviously, so he is probably a member of the murder cult. Danny has to rescue his brother from the illuminati.

Cue Sam going to a socialite dinner in gotham much to her parents delight. Getting close to Damian by talking about animal rights, slipping him some sleeping pills in his vegan food. Tucker hacking into the gala and causing a commotion. Danny lugging an unconscious Damian out of the Gala and into the GAV ( no, his parents dont know why he borrowed the car or where he is).

Damian wakes up and immediately tries to attack Danny thinking hes a clone. Danny is like woah shit no its me! Its your brother. Damian is like Danyal is dead. Danny is like obviously not. Now chill out im rescuing you from the cult.

Damian, who has been secrectly mourning his twin for years, has never heard anyone call the League of Assassins a cult. He has to reevaluate a lot of things while Danny drives the GAV out of Gotham as fast as he can. Danny explains his whole backstory and how he is sorry he didnt come to save Damian earlier, his memories were gone but he had never forgotten how important Damian was to him. Damian doesnt do emotions on a good day and is unable to handle that like a normal person.

"Father isnt part of the cult, Danyal."

"Hes a billionaire from Gotham, of course he is!"

Damian who has fought many rich people from gotham, all of whom were evil, tries to find an explanation that isnt 'our dad is batman'. Danny isnt listening to any of it, promising Damian that he will be safe from the murder cult in Amity.

Damian eventually gets out that their mother was in the cult and their father didn't know about them. Danny pulls the GAV over and looks at Damian.

"Did i just kidnap you for no reason?"

"It was a kind gesture at least Danyal."

"Fuck. I just kidnapped bruce wayne's kid in the middle of a gala, am i super villain now?"

"Not if you take me home. Father will understand Danyal."

"I dont want to go to jail!"

Damian gives Danny the address to Wayne Manor and Danny drives to Bristol.

When they walk inside Damian now has to explain the whole 'had a dead brother i never told you about' thing to a less than amused batfam.

Danny introduces himself to Bruce and says that he has an adopted family back in illinois, but that he would be happy to get to know Bruce, also sorry about the kidnapping i dont normally do that i thought you were part of the illumimati and i had to rescue my brother.

Bruce just hopes this kid is normal.

(Hint: he's not)

[gamblersdoll]

nsfw, cnc mention, rough sex, spit, spanking, degrading, deku using blackwhip, manipulation. lmk if i didnt tag it. attempted kidnapping, stalker themes implied.

an: its been edited for more… fantasy.

the city was clear skied at night, civilly looking and dressed by the way. no villains were out, crime was semi dying downing and only left to maybe crimes that occurred twice a month. even then, it wasnt like it was eliminated.

maybe the universe was trying to give you and izuku, the number two pro here, after todoroki, a chance at happiness. maybe a saving grace, it could be. it only started after you and izukus marriage, it was a good thing. the media went crazy about you and izuku marrying , screaming how it wasnt meant to be.

thats the only reason it brought izukus rating down, because of a damn relationship. it wasn’t supposed to be you and izuku, it was just supposed to be ochako and izuku. yet, izuku always assured you that you were his true love.

and maybe that saving grace after the marriage was short lived, since crime spiked back up, immediately too.

and it was one that was very, destructive. which only meant a specific person that unfortunately fell into the hands of crime when he was attempting to be a hero.

dynamight.

izuku often did search for him, attempting to find his childhood best friend who desperately wanted to be a hero. but would always come up empty handed..

this time was different.

“izuku!” you screamed, keeping the door open and just staring at the horrifying box in front of you. he comes stumbling down the stairs, hand on your hip and bug eyed at the box.

someone has it out for you, bad. and they have your address, presumably pretending to be usps. or it was someone who worked at the delivery company, sending you body parts for and as an act of love.

it didnt make sense to you.

“are you going to be okay when im gone, love?” izuku says, tightening up his hero boots and looking to you. you nod, feeling his hand caressing your cheek and kissing your lips. “good. i love you.”

“i love you.” you say back, watching him depart from you in a instant. he had to go to the americas for a mission, supposedly. there was a big problem over there and they needed as many heroes as possible.

thats what heroes do, right?

thats what you at least remind yourself, since you were on active leave because of a big mission you did. you were forced to take a break, since your arm and shoulder were damaged. you were only discharged a couple months ago—

“grab the girl!” a rando shouted, a hand over your mouth and a knife to your throat. you were fucked, dropping your phone in a scramble and you damn sure couldnt use your fucking quirk. “what a lucky day! just my damn luck–!”

and you heard him gargle, was he that fucked in his mind he had gone rabid? his hands drop, his heavy weight pushing into you and you.. move away? you look to see what had happened, only to see his head had became scrambled.

you feel a cold sweat, your stomach churning and it feels like you could vomit. sure, youre a pro now— that doesnt mean you cant feel a little sick from the gore of the scene. you look to the wall, reading it.

‘youre welcome.’

someone had saved you? it was that quick? you look around the area, top and bottom. there wasnt a gunman, nor was there any traces. you scramble to find your device, calling izuku.

please, pick the fuck up.

“baby?” he asks, sounding concern.

“i almost got kidnapped—“ you start, but you think that izuku would freak out. but.. hes more calm. “but, the weirdest shit happened, the perp just.. died behind me! his head.. its like halfway gone, and i guess whoever the ‘hero’ of the night is, basically said i was fucken welcomed.”

“youre okay though, right?” izuku asks. no, youre not fucking okay, you just almost got abducted and someone blew someones head off behind you! you grunt a response, “okay, get home safe, okay bunny?”

yeah, right.

yet, something felt.. off about him when he came back. he said he would be back by the twentieth of july, and it was the fucking first of august.

“where have you been?” you ask, worried, scared, nervous, angry, confused all hit you at the same time. it felt like hell, you didn’t want to be that insecure wife that questioned her husband each day.

“something came up, im sorry baby.” he apologized, coming over to hold you and kiss your cheek. “you have nothing to worry about, sweetheart.”

“i..” you try and start, but the words just got stuck into your throat.

“you?” izuku tries to help, but it looks like he didnt want to hear it. feigning confusion and worry on his face, not like you could tell.

you were too in love and worried to even pay attention.

“i.. i forgive you.” you say, shaking those negative feelings and thoughts away from your body. it was good that you did that, you never did well with it.

good, according to plan.

you both went to sleep peacefully that night, you did at least…

until you didnt, you were a light sleeper. and of course, you heard something. something wasnt right, no, it was too hot. izuku mustve changed the temperature in the house.

your feet move , still groggy and looking at the thermostat.

seventy-nine degrees?! did he want both of you to fucking boil!? you curse under your breath, changing it back to the original temperature, at least sixty degrees. yet, something still didnt feel right—

creak!

you think its izuku, so you go back upstairs. that boy was still asleep—

creeakk!

someone or something was in the house, and you shake him. “izuku, somethings in the house.” you silent shout, knowing he wasnt that heavy of a sleeper. was he really that tired to where he wouldnt wake to do a check in the house?

fine, be that fucking way, deku.

you go on your own, and you tiptoe in your own fucking house.. how comical. but there is a lingering smell, it wasnt a familiar smell.

or at least, not yours or izukus.

you check each room, there wasnt anything.. and then back downstairs. maybe you were paranoid—

no, the fuck you werent. or maybe you just see a big ass shadow man sitting in the corner of the living room. you stop in your tracks, you have to be making eye contact with this.. thing.

he clears his throat, tapping his foot, and goes to stand up–

“midori—mff!” you try to shout for him, but a hand comes around your mouth and you can smell it, chloroform.

you wake up finally, groggy and trying to remember what had happened, but you see him, bakugou. you remember his suit, his hair, those mean, red eyes that you had first fallen in love with.

“nothin’ to say?” he starts, pulling his hands out of his gloves and crouching in front of you. “welcome home, beauts.”

“zuku!” you try, but bakugou just laughs.

“he’s probably still asleep, he was always a heavy sleeper.” bakugou started again, “izuku?” he mocks, looking around and back to you. “still asleep.”

“you—“

“yeah yeah, im a villain, this that ‘n the third.” he mumbles, kissing your cheek then getting close to your ear. “but i saved you, didnt i?” he whispers, “youre welcome.”

and it clicks, he was the one that blew the guys’ brains out.

you hear a door open, and a tuff of green hair. izuku walks in, standing in the doorway and dynamight just looks at him. “izuku! please..” you say, knowing he would save you.

“oh, hey kacchan.” he simply says, walking over and dapping him up. it confused the fuck out of you, and he just looks at you like there isnt a fucking villain in front of you. “hi, baby.”

“midoriya, what the fuck are you doing?!” you shout, “do you not see him?” you question, feeling bakugou get behind you and release you.

“oh, i do.” he replies, kissing your cheek and releasing blackwhip to restrain you. “guess we should talk about it.”

talk about what?! that he allowed a villain inside?

you glare at him, and katsuki laughs. “oh, thats a mean ass look. could make me fold in a minute.”

“izuku.” you repeat, staring at him. “did.. you plan this?” you ask, hoping and praying to whatever god there was that you were wrong, like this was a bad dream and you were stuck.

“yeah, ive been wanting to tell you that.” he starts, seeing how your heart drops to your ass. “before you get all worried, its also technically your fault.”

now how in the mother fuck.

“how?” you ask, growing paranoid, angry, scared.

“did you not realize that the usps label was slightly ripped?” he asks, showing the box with the finger and the tongue inside of it. it makes you gag, and katsuki shushes you in consolation. “did you not realize that the perp who wanted to ‘kidnap’ you was our priest from our wedding?”

thinking back on it now.. maybe it was. no, it was our priest.

“but.. why kill the pre—??”

“he knew what was going on, and was trying to save you. as if you needed to be saved.” katsuki interrupted, brushing your hair back.

“and to be honest, all three of us were technically married. it was meant to be.” katsuki adds, showing the marriage license.

the three were.. married? meant to be?

riiipp!

you feel your sleep shorts be ripped off, looking to izuku for some sort of reasoning. he gets closer, kissing your lips and then looking back to katsuki. “be careful with her, you havent fucked her, ever.” he says, tightening blackwhip and smiling. “he’s going to be gentle this time, okay?”

you feel warmth around your slit, moaning out and you hate how you sound, the fact this was even arousing pissed you off.

why was it arousing?

“fuck, shes so sweet..” katsuki groans, licking at your clit and suckling. his heavy cock gets heavier, pulling you close and slipping into your walls.

“zuku!—“

“wrong name, baby.” katsuki rasps, pulling your hips back and thrusting into you. “ha..haaah!” he pants out, tongue lolled out and drooling onto your ass. “oh, ive wanted this, ive wanted thiss!”

“its okay, bunny, see how hes being so sweet with you?” izuku speaks, kissing you cheek. he looks at your crossed eyes, fists balled up and he rubs your knuckles.

this feels wrong, but it doesnt feel so bad.

or was it you being corrupted that manipulated you into thinking that?

it was definitely the corruption of your walls that shot to your mind, your ass burned from the constant slam of his hips into them. “fuck, wanted you since the day i saw you!” he growls, spitting onto your back and wrapping a arm around your neck.

and this fucker izuku just watches.

“going to make you mine, mine!” katsuki says, feeling your corrupt walls squeezes around him in ecstasy, which causes him to break you. he slaps your ass, digging his nails into the tender flesh as he holds onto you for support. “gunna’ cum in you, fuck ive wanted this so bad!”

it makes izuku hard.. really.

“wanted to watch you slut yourself out to deku.. wanted to watch you get cock drunk of’fa me!” he babbles, turns out he was getting pussy drunk off of you. he licks up your back, biting into your shoulder and whispers into you. “do you feel it? do you feel how much of a slut you are? huuhh?”

he whines his hips slow, laughing all mean and slapping your backend again. “oh, god, youre so much sexier in person!” he says, eyes dilating and he licks his canines. “fuck, just like that, going to fuckin cum!—“

he creams inside of you, feeling his seed spilling out of your walls. izuku only chuckles, lifting your head up to see your eyes.

your eyes were low and heavy, you had been in and out of consciousness. “see? we can all be a big happy married couple.”

—

“aand, cut!” the director says, katsuki just laughs and picks you up, blackwhip releasing you.

“you okay, mama?” he asks, squishing your cheeks and looking at your eyes. “shit, grab her water, idiot!” katsuki yells to the backstage, them rushing to the fridge.

“sugar, you okay?” izuku asks, tapping each part of your skin to bring your back down to earth. you nod, both men sighing in relief as katsuki helps you drink the cold water. “we didnt go to hard, did we?”

“mm, mm..” you respond, lazily looking up to them. “did me dirty though, having me in damn near eighty degree house.”

katsuki boisterously laughs, “that was my fault, forgot to turn it down, mama.” he says in a kiss.

[chosove]

*tw!!! daddy kink!!! + a lotttt of size kink stuff!!! fem bodied reader*

I know he gets such a like…almost ‘selfish lover’ rep but in my humble daddy issue biased opinion, toji would 100% talk you through it like…

Everyone already finds him so intimidating, if not from his stature and general appearance, its his gruff voice and combative personality. He doesnt even mean to do it, he just always has that trademark scowl on his face that makes people afraid to say excuse me in grocery stores :(

Not you though, you still served him with your bright smile as he checked out of the store. You asked how he was and giggled at his flirty response of ‘why, ya wanna make my day better?’. I mean…other than his kids he never had people willingly make small talk with him, let alone laugh at his old man jokes.

Godddd he just gets so flustered when you look at him with your big doe eyes and say have a fantastic day :(

Thats why when he sees you on the dating app megumi downloaded for him (against his will), he feels his heart skip a beat. I just know he’s all nervous, thinking how dirty he is as a self proclaimed ‘old man’ finding such a pretty young thing attractive- i mean you could literally be his daughter. All these worried thoughts flitted through his head while he tried to decide, not realizing his thumb was just a littttttlllleeeee too close to the screen as he accidentally matched with you.

Oh.

Oh.

I mean it was an accident for him, but was it an accident for you? It couldnt be if you were texting him already, a message reading “hey there stranger :)” popping up on his phone.

And when you liked his simple response of “Hello.”, responding with “anything i can do to make your night better, toji?”, that couldnt just be a typo or misclick, right?

You made him feel like a teenager again, the butterflies he felt only becoming more intense when you asked him to come over n’ tell you in person :( he nearly jumped out of his skin trying to get ready, hands fumbling with that pinstripe button-up he’d been saving for something special (gumi’s grad or….i guess his first date in forever). It was only at times like this he wished he had someone to call to help him chill out.

Maybe after tonight that’d be you though? He hoped so at least, and even when you pulled him into your apartment, pushing him on the couch while he stuttered about getting to know each other first, he knew you were the girl for him.

It did take a while for him to actually get up to your speed- he didnt wanna break you or anything. You were just so, so desperate for him, tugging at his shirt while you grinded your clothed cunt against his beefy thighs, filthy words coming out of your mouth only making it harder for toji to take it slow with you.

“God you’re so big toji, feel like even jus’ your fingers can split me in half.”

“Couldn’t stop thinking about you, knew you’d treat me better than all the guys my age. Ya gonna fuck me right toji? Please?”

“C’mon toji…know you wanna breed me, bet it’ll only take one time for me to give you a baby. D’you want that daddy?”

It was no later you said that word that he was picking you up, throwing you onto the tiny mattress your studio apartment held. Yeah, he definitely wasnt getting out of this alive- but neither were you judging by the way his big hands began to unbuckle his belt, unzipping the pants you so graciously left a giant wet stain on, the outline of his cock in his boxers making your mouth water.

“See what ya do to me, pretty?” His deep voice spoke, one hand giving his throbbing dick a few much-needed strokes while he stared down at you like a wolf. “Nothin’ to say anymore, hm? C’mon, i liked hearing it all.”

He hadnt even pressed himself against you before you let out a whine, his hands resting themselves on your sides already being enough to make your hips jump. If it weren’t for the fact he was now intent on hearing more of those pretty sounds from you, he’d have let out a whine himself from how soft your skin felt against his worked hands. And when he slowly pulled your panties down your thighs, clenching his jaw at the sight of strands of wetness sticking to your pussy, he nearly came in his pants.

“Poor girl, bet this sweet pussy hasnt been treated right in forever hm?” The question nearly brought tears to your eyes, both from the truth of it and from the fact he began to thumb at your glistening cunt, the rough pad of his finger being the exact pressure you needed on your pulsing bundle of nerves. “T-toji i might cum alr-”you began, but you werent able to get your sentence out before his hand came down to slap against your cunt.

“What happened to my good girl from earlier? Y’know not to call me toji, little bird. Whats my name?” He whispered against the shell of your ear, fingers covered in your wetness now coming to play with your hard nipples.

Clinging to his shaggy hair like it was your lifeline, you nearly cried out as you came undone for him, the desperate moan of ‘thank you daddy’ falling from your lips. He smiled as you writhed below him, your body convulsing while he let you ride what would be the first of many orgasms that night.

[sillyandquiteawkward]

arghgh your latest comic... CONSTANTLY thinking about swansea's relationship to alcohol... relapsing after 15 years of sobriety without adjusting for his lost tolerance... drinking at a passively suicidal level and expecting daisuke to keep up with him... and the way he and his apprentice react in opposite ways to the mouthwash? when swansea's drunk he's energized, aggressive - he stops caring about his dignity or even if he'll make it through the night. he accepts his own death the minute they open the cargo. daisuke, meanwhile, is exhausted and miserable and deeply, deeply ashamed of himself.... he starts worrying what his parents would think. he thinks he's going to see them again.... this game hurts....

swanseas split second acceptance of his death once they find out its all mouthwash makes my fucking heart sink and ache sorely. it hurts so much because before that i think he was holding out hope theyd get saved, that they wouldnt need to use that single cryopod. he didnt want to open cargo because their pay would be on the line, the one last thing tethering the crew to stability. once that was severed so was swanseas hope and desire to be a model man, and to go back to chase his selfish indulgent self destructive desires as an alcoholic.

and how his last effort to show daisuke the same happiness that he enjoyed, he tries to bond with daisuke through his one true passion in life. and that only brings daisuke down, as hes not the happy drunk like swansea is like you said. when drunk, daisuke acknowledges his situation for the first time since boarding the tulpar, the first time he lets his brave face falter. drinking together would never bring swansea and daisuke closer, only serve as another way for daisuke to understand swansea the best out of all of the crew, something he was already doing.

it really does have such a tragic paternal bond between the two of them. not only do we just have the mentor/mentee, but it reminds me of a dad who would try to bond with his son in the only way he knows how, thru his own hobbies. in this case, drinking. and he tries to instill this habit onto daisuke, because he knows this is hopeless and that if it makes him happy, maybe itll make daisuke happy. but its not the right way to bond with him, its trying to build a relationship on shaky ground.

it reminds me of how swanseas harsh words are always underlined by swanseas frustration that daisuke is in this situation. he lashes out at daisuke when really hes mad at their situation and the company. luckily, daisuke seems to notice this and doesnt take a lot of what he says at face value, but you know it really does dig at him under the surface, as daisuke is only motivated by external pressures acting on him. swansea finally realizes that they fundamentally arent the same people right before daisuke dies, he mentions that daisuke could never become like him, miserable, old, jaded, a happy drunk. that he couldnt bond with daisuke like he would with someone like him, they are fundamentally too much of different people, that daisuke is a better man than him.

i have to agree: this game hurts.

[vividraft]

it's always been you

⇢ ˗ˏˋ fem!reader x alhaitham

⇢ ˗ˏˋ summary: even though it seemed like the universe did not want you and alhaitham together, he came to save you in the last second

⇢ ˗ˏˋ important notes: this is a repost from my old account (@/rainstops)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ a/n: ooc alhaitham... i think

old post masterlist tba !

you and alhaitham always got along really great. some people would say that youre the only one who he ever really got a long with. always kind and respectful to you.

kaveh was the first one to notice alhaithams blatant favoritism towards you. whenever he tried to bring it up, alhaitham quickly shut him down. but this time he wasnt going to let that happen.

"so? when are you going to ask [name] out?", he immediately asked when alhaitham walked through the door of their shared apartment. 

"ask her out? why would i do that?", alhaitham was quick to answer. 

"come on dude, everyone knows that you like her. 

"like her? sure i like her as a friend", alhaitham hung up his coat.

a moment of silence followed.

"oh so you wouldnt mind if i asked her out?", kaveh asked. alhaithams head shot into his direction. no words needed. the expression on alhaithams face was far more than enough for kaveh. 

"Ha, see you do like her!"

"whatever im going to sleep"

kaveh was right though. alhaitham did hold feelings in his heart that he didnt understand very well.

you on the other hand also just arrived at home. you took off your shoes and were immediately confronted with a "[name] we have to talk", of course from no one less than your mother. you tried to avoid her as much as you could, but with how controlling she is, that was more than just hard.

you both sat down at the kitchen table, and your mother immediately started talking. and you wished you wouldnt have come home that night.

"so you know that the fact that our family keeps on living, and keeping up our status is important, right?", your mother started. she had been giving you the same talk lately over and over again. she kept reminding you about how you had to get a boyfriend soon and get married soon. for archons sake, you were 19!

your family had a fairly high status in sumeru, and your mother lived for continuing the family. she had an early marriage and an early pregnancy, just to ensure that the family reproduces.

"mom get to the point", you sighed. you couldnt hear the same talk over and over again. she would just tell you how its important that you have children and its for the family and-

"i've arranged a marriage for you"

what?

she what?

"you did WHAT?", you slammed your hands on the table and stood up from your chair. 

"[name] you know its just so-"

"i dont CARE what its about!"

"now how about you sit back down and listen to me. ive found you a lovely guy whos just a year older-"

"no, how about you listen to ME for this first time in your life? all the time you were trying to control my life and manipulate me and you kept telling me over and over again how its 'for the family'!, well in all honesty fuck this family!", all your pent up anger from your nineteen years of living was now let out at the person who caused it all.

"young lady that is no way to talk to your mother, and especially no way to talk about your family!", your mother stood up from her chair as well. 

"youre not fucking listening to me! i am not getting married!", you screamed while putting your shoes back on.

you stormed out the door, although you were very aware that she was going to get whatever she wants one way or another.

it doesnt matter. she never even mattered. you needed to go somewhere, somewhere else than that place you lived in. and you knew exactly where.

kaveh opened the door for you. 

"alhaitham theres someone here for you!" he shouted through the whole apartment. its not like you were never here for you. whenever your mother got too much, you slept at alhaithams place. kaveh also told you a million times already that youre the only one who alhaitham allows to sleep in his room.

"same fights as always?", kaveh asked. you shook your head. 

"worse"

"worse? what did she do?", alhaitham was suddenly standing right in the hallway. it took you everything you had to stop you from ugly crying right then and there.

you were still mad. you were always gonna be mad, but the fact that you almost sprinted all the way to the shared apartment, took away a little of the rage.

"its kind of really hard to say", you really didnt want to say it. it for some reason felt even more wrong to tell alhaitham, but you didnt know why. 

"i dont think theres really anything that we dont expect from your mother by now", alhaitham said looking at kaveh, and then back at you. your eyes started watering. not at the thought of having to say it out loud, but at the thought of having to spend most of your life with someone you didnt even know.

"she arranged a marriage for me", you said. your words were followed by a long silence.

alhaitham looked irrated at you. or maybe he was angry. who knows. kaveh on the other hand was shocked. his eyes wide, and lips slightly apart. never of them knew what to say.

"youre kidding", alhaitham said, more wishing than actually asking. his voice was barely above a whisper. 

you could only shake your head.

a shaky, long sigh escaped your lips, and even though you didnt want it, the tears started falling. your body tensed up, and you could feel alhaithams arms wrap right around you. all you could do was lay your head onto his chest, and kaveh went to grab some water for you.

the rest, you dont remember.

you woke up, in alhaithams bed. the apartment sounded empty. what time was it? you honestly couldnt care less about going to school today. you didnt want to go anywhere today. but you also couldnt stay here another night, that was decided. one way or another you had to confront your mother, and who knows, maybe you could also convince her to stray from her plan.

but you knew, you could not convince her.

you discussed and fought with her for quite a long time.

"youre getting married to that man, and if i have to drag you to that wedding. besides everything is already paid for"

"wait- already paid for? when is the wedding anyways?",

"next month"

without another word, you stood up from the kitchen table and went to your room. you threw yourself onto your bed.

your body felt so heavy, and especially your heart. your eyes felt as if they were going to close any second, but you didnt feel like you could sleep. you were angry, but you were also disappointed and sad. disappointed in your mother, that she saw you as nothing else other than an a way to extend the family. 

and disappointed in yourself, for not being able to convince her.

well at least you still had alhaitham. he was the best friend you could ever ask for, although you ever wondered if you felt more towards him than just friendship.

your question was answered pretty quickly. you had no idea what had caused it. if it was the upcoming marriage, or just because he was always there for you. but recently you wanted to be closer to him than before. you wanted to always stay by his side, but maybe you just wanted to avoid being home.

but alhaitham... was it just an illusion or was he getting more and more distant by the minute? he used to always make time for you. if you were struggling with something, he stopped what he was doing just to help you. he wanted to talk to you over all of the people he knew. he talked to you daily, but now the days you two talked were moving apart further and further.

what was happening?

"alhaitham can we talk?", you carefully asked, not wanting to disturb him. this was one of the first time you felt like you were walking on eggshells around him. 

"not right now [name], im busy", he replied, not even bothering to take his eyes off the paper he was working on.

"but its kind of important...", you tried again. 

suddenly he slapped his paper down onto the table. 

"what is it?", he finally looked at you for once.

you sat down right across from him. 

"well... how do i start this"

"just say it, i have important things to do"

...

were you not important to him anymore?

"alhaitham, i feel like we are drifting apart", those were the best words you could find to describe what you were feeling.

"so what? its not like we're a couple or anything"

"so i dont matter to you at all"

a moment of silence. 

thats not true, is what alhaitham wanted to say.

"alhaitham dont ignore me"

"im not ignoring you"

"then answer me"

"fuck [name] just- JUST FUCKING FINALLY LEAVE ME ALONE"

huh

wait what? 

did he just say that?

"did i just say that...?", he mumbled to himself, kind off hoping you would hear it, but you were already out of the room, heading home. 

your mind was blank. where did you go wrong? what did you do that couldve possibly made him act this way?

alhaitham got home, closed the door, and sunk into the couch. his hands were traveling through his hair, and he was rubbing his face as if he was trying to rub away the words he said.

"woah what happened to you", kaveh asked as he walked past him, just wanting to get a glass of water.

"nothing", alhaitham mumbled, his hands still in his face. 

"doesnt look like nothing to me", kaveh replied. honestly he shouldve just dropped it right then and there.

"kaveh what do you think gives you the right to nag me like theres no tomorrow?"

kaveh just stared. 

"seriously man what is up with you recently? is it because of... you know, [name] getting married?", it almost felt hard to say. 

his heart dropped to his stomach and a shudder went down his spine, hearing kavehs words.

the reminder that you were getting married takes him right back to the day when you told him whats happening. he couldnt help his heart feeling like it was getting ripped apart, like its nothing more than just a piece of paper. 

from that day on he couldnt concentrate on anything. everything felt like a reminder of you, everything reminded him of the daggers that were send through his heart of the mere sight of you.

so he did the only thinkable thing, which was to distance himself. maybe his heart and mind would go back to the way things used to be. but everyday where he would be spending less time with you, felt like someone was taking half his soul away. he was even less focused on things, and was living in a trance, like a depressed man. 

but in no way was he trying to hurt you. no that was even worse than anything he could think off.

everything felt like it circled around you. it almost felt like...

"it feels a little like youre living for [name], doesnt it?", kaveh suggested. 

yeah exactly that.

kaveh sat down next to him. 

"alhaitham, do you remember the exact date [name]'s wedding is?"

alhaitham looked at kaveh. 

"its tomorrow, alhaitham"

wait

wait, no, when did time pass so fast? you cant get married. no way.

you were standing there, in your white dress. it wasnt really yours. it was your mothers old dress, meaning you did not choose your own dress. but maybe it was better like that, since you didnt want to get married anyway. the reception wasnt very pretty, it almost looked like a church. but maybe only you felt this way. you didnt want to be here. you didnt want to be anywhere. well there was one place that couldve been nice. you wanted to be wherever alhaitham is right now, but he didnt seem to want you arround.

you were staring at the bouquet you were holding. everything felt so surreal. you looked up at the guy you were marrying. he looked absolutely happy to be where he was. it almost made you uncomfortable to look at the wide grin on his face.

you looked at your mother, who seemed to be crying. everyone seemed so happy, except for you.

you were not picking up any words, until the question was asked.

"do you take [name], as your wife, your partner, for all eternity?", the sentence almost made you throw up. 

"yes", the guy so quickly replied. he smiled at you. and you felt the urge to slap him. and maybe your mother while you were at it.

"now, do you take [guys name], to be your husband, your partner, for all eternity?"

"I.. uh", you wanted to say no so bad, but it seems you didnt have to.

you looked up from the floor you were staring at to avoid any gazes, when suddenly the doors to the reception slammed open. 

"stop... the fucking wedding", alhaitham stood there, out of breath, his hair messier than ever, and he looked like he had been... crying?

he walked up to you and took your hand. 

"you dont want to marry this guy right? forget this, forget everything, and just come with me"

he looked at you like he had never seen anything he loved more. and in that moment, you indeed forgot everything. like nothing was important, nothing other than the happiness of you and the one who was holding your hand.

you dropped your bouquet right there and ran. your mother shouted something, and the guy was standing there all confused.

as soon as the both of you had left the reception, you started stumbling. 

"alhaitham im wearing heels!", without hesitation, alhaitham picked you up like you weighed nothing.

a few more steps and you both hid in an allyway. 

to some people this might looked weird, but they dont know what was happening. to you you couldnt be happier than this.

but yet, tears were streaming down your face. and you arms wrapped themselves around alhaitham, quicker than he could react. your head was already pressed into his chest. and he hugged you back.

"im so sorry, im sorry for shouting at you and im sorry for not helping you earlier. i love you, [name]", his voice was wavering, but it had an odd certainty in it. without someone having to tell you, you knew from this day on everything was going to be okay.

[lovebunnie]

“so are we just not gonna talk about it?”

spy looks over the edge of his cigarette to the scout, leaning against a wall in feigned nonchalance. he looks agitated with fingers curled into white knuckled fists. he looks ready to hit someone, spy thinks. ever the violent little thing.

“you will have to be more specific.”

scout scoffs. “thats’a no then.”

“say what you want, boy.” the spy exhales his smoke out of the corner of his mouth.

scout's nose crinkles as he steels himself as though preparing to weather a storm. the tension between them feels thick as the spy's already charred lungs feel even more strained. faint redness tinges the boy's cheeks and the spy knows that scout is trying not to cry.

"what good is it if you wont freakin' listen? whats the point in trying to say anything when every one of ya jerks look at me like im not in on it, like im the last to know. i have eyes." scout's frame shakes, turning to face the spy. "im not that stupid, i can connect the dots.”

“you are talking in circles. this game you are playing had no place among coworkers-“

“youre my father, you asshole.”

spy slowly takes his cigarette from his mouth. he lets the silence take hold of the room to mask the feeling of cold dread washing over him. it was never supposed to be this way. “ah, i see,” he mutters.

“yea,” scout spits, “been searching for the bastard my whole life and it freakin’ figures id meet him here, at the end of the world.”

“life is surely funny that way.”

“doesnt feel very funny.”

the spy watches scout shuffle his feet. “you were never supposed to find out like this.”

“dont give me that.” the scout hisses the words and the red raising in his cheeks disguises his smattering of freckles. the spy thinks he looks older like this, settled into his rage. “i wasnt never supposed to know, was i?”

he could lie. he has been lying his whole life and it came to him far easier. there was already a story at the tip of his tongue about waiting for the right time and place, about waiting for when all the bloodshed was over to finally embrace his role as a father. really, he should lie to save his own sanity and peace of mind in the workplace if nothing else.

“no, you were not.” however, the truth sneaks out of spy like an exhale.

the scout jerks a nod and looks away. his throat clicks with the swallowing of tears and the little boy from another lifetime ago is standing right in front of spy all of a sudden. the small hands that grabbed his fingers when he was a newborn now clench onto nothing. wide eyes once full of wonder were now unable to meet his own.

“you were just gonna, what, keep going here until one of us died? everyone was just going to keep this to themselves and let me rot with it?” the scout takes a deep breath. “my ma knows too, doesnt she? has known about it the whole freakin’ time i bet.” he deflates a bit at the mention of his mother.

“she wanted me to keep an eye on you,” the spy says.

at once, something gripes scout and suddenly the rage is back, sparking and sputtering with righteous fury. “jesus christ, again with the lies? you were gonna keep an eye on me, oh, like back when i was a kid and getting my lunch money taken? back when i had to earn my place in the neighborhood just to keep from getting pummeled?” he points a finger. “you never did anything even close to protect me. when ma couldnt pick me up from practice because she was home with the flu, it was benny who came to get me, not you. when i needed field trip permission slips signed, matty taught me how to forge a signature.” one finger becomes two and counts up in time with his words. “randy taught me how to tie my shoes. eddie knew where id always forget my backpack. sammy let me pick any candy i wanted when we went to the grocery store.”

the spy stays silent. no words come to him.

“and when i got here, who showed me where to put my things? it wasnt you spy, it was demo. when i had to ask about my shots getting delivered here, did you go out of your way to make it happen? no, medic did that too. did you ask me what i wanted for breakfast or was that heavy? did my father ever offer to upgrade my weapons or did engie do that?”

the scout, during his scolding, had involuntarily stepped closer and closer to the spy until they were in each other’s faces. the air felt thick, and spy wanted to cloak right now more than anything on earth.

scout steps back. “i didnt need a father then and i sure as hell dont need one now,” he says.

if the world was right and just, spy would apologize right now and say he regretted leaving his son as he did all those years ago. he would promise that the lies ended here. he would promise to start being the father scout deserved, better late then never.

but unfortunately, the world was how it was. “are you quite done?”

scout stares at him for a moment with his jaw somewhat dropped, and the spy feels his heart break at the realization that the scout had had hope in a different outcome.

“youre a real piece of work,” scout grumbles. “lets both forget this happened, okay? dont even bother trying to pretend to care, either. we should both just forget about each other like this, im too tired to deal with any more.” the scout takes a step back before a smirk tugs at his lips and he gives a watery snort. “ya know, life is funny that way. this time, i get to be the one to walk away.”

before spy can try to respond, the scout turns on his heel and walks away, as was his birth right, as was his nature.

like father, like son.

[goomyloid]

the chara comic you posted is awesome! i really love the way you color things!

personally, i think chara would not be okay with seeing the monsters be killed, even to "see everything about them because they love them". if i interpreted the comic correctly, and you were suggesting that they would think it's worth it to "see everything", i'd like to ask: why do you think that?

i'm not trying to be confrontational or anything, i'm just curious about your interpretation of their character

hiii firstly thank you for enjoying my comic!! i worked pretty hard on it so im really glad people like it!

i had to think about this question for a while, and i guess this is my answer:

i think that while chara was alive, they weren’t okay with seeing monsters around them die, and wouldnt kill them themself, but that doesn’t mean they were ‘pure’ and against killing altogether; they did want to kill the humans from their village, and getting the chance to do so was presumably one of the reasons they were willing to commit suicide. after all, it seemed to me like their plan was just as much of a revenge plan as it was a plan to save monsterkind, and i think it’s a common interpretation that they were stewing on those negative feelings after death for a loooong time.

though i suppose that’s just my reasoning for their capacity to kill. in terms of them wanting to “see everything,” i intended for there to be a few different meanings/implications for this:

1. the more literal comparison to the player, relating to how we do the no mercy route not because we hate the characters, but because we love them; we want to see everything they have to say, even if it means hurting them, because we’re too attached to the world undertale has to offer (though this feeling depends on your personal experience with the game)

2. the less literal, more diegetic comparison to flowey, who has cycled through numerous timelines, “reading every book” and “burning every book” so to speak, i.e. seeing everything the world has to offer — not out of love, but in a desperate attempt for entertainment, since he couldnt feel love himself. hence the line, “you need more and more and more love, but it’s never enough. so you stretch everything thin until it breaks.”

3. a nod to chara’s tendency to push things to its limit in general. things like them filling water glasses all the way to the top, or 9 being their favorite number. but their desire for extremes (such as their plan, which was pretty extreme if you ask me) doesnt always end in success; sometimes it ends in dire failure.

this, along with the fact that no matter what interpretation of chara you may hold, they generally might not have been the greatest person. which makes sense, right? no one is gonna be entirely good or bad. if anything, people tend to portray more of the ‘bad’ side of chara we see in the no mercy route. and while chara interpretations historically DO tend to be overwhelmingly (and inaccurately) negative (insane killer facemelty evil demon and all that), it still feels wrong to me to do a complete 180 and say chara was completely good and normal and hated dying and death and everything related to it. (not that this was your interpretation ofc, just using hyperbole to describe other interpretations ive seen in passing)

before this gets wildly too long, the point ive been trying to get to is that there’s Nuance. i dont think chara is “okay” with killing monsters so much as them seeing it as a means to an end, in a sense; the person doing it is trying to achieve something outside of just Piles of Asriel's Monster Dust. to “love something so much you want to destroy it” isn’t usually a conclusion most normal people come to, but these three entities in question — the player, flowey, and chara — are definitely Not Normal, each in their own respective ways. all of this is to say that chara doesn't necessarily condone the player annihilating monsterkind or flowey toying with people's lives, they can understand the sentiment behind it and Why we do it.

i could go on but the TLDR is that: while i think chara has the capacity to wish death on others in general, the main idea is less about what they think is morally right or wrong and more about their reaction to OUR (and by extension, flowey's) decisions; it's less so chara "being okay" with monsters dying (in fact, i tried to convey that they're not all that happy about it, with how they look down at flowey rather Menacingly on that one page) and more of them analyzing the situation as a whole and reflecting on their life and sentiments.

DEEPLY SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT but it was fun to get my thoughts out more clearly! usually i like to leave comics like this more up to the reader's interpretation, so if others saw it differently than me, that's totally okay, these are just my personal thoughts ^^

[little-forest-goblin]

⚠️ Possible spoilers ahead For umbrella academy season four. i needed to rant I couldnt stay away i need to get this off my chest.

Why is there absolutely no closure. We just don’t get any form of closure? We just see them get wiped from existence and that’s it? There has to be a season 5 they are not talking about right? i mean how can you end a show like that with them just ceasing to exist and have the fucking audacity to show everyone from the handler to herb living some weird normal life! then lets not get started on the shit left unsaid. what about sloane? why was jennifer in the weird barrel thing in the first place? how did she get there? Do we just not get to see that maybe just maybe in this original timeline that their all maybe living with there actual moms? We just get ceasing to exist?

Can we also talk about the relationship of lila and five. THAT SHOULD’VE NEVER HAPPENED!! there was a sibling dynamic it was never romantic. also he would’ve never suggested lila and him to stay in that strawberry garden house thing cause he worked to hard to get his family back and to save them and make sure they where safe and now suddenly he wants ti abandon them to live with lila? hell no! he took delores with him into the doomed to fail world and even though she was a mannequin and not real she was as real to five as his siblings standing in front of him were. I will admit It was nice seeing what five is like in a relationship and to see him more emotional cause all we had to play off that was the delores hallucinations and bits and pieces of the interactions between the mannequin and him and basing it off platonic relationships like siblings.

Back to them never getting peace. It’s a bullshit ending. in the end yeah they said there is love you’s and there bits and pieces of love for each other as they face total annihilation but thats it? What we get is a broken family again? We started with a broken family knowing no peace we watched a broken family with no peace and then we end with a broken family with no peace. Diego and lila have a messy marriage and we dont get to see that maybe in the end it turns out alright. viktor never gets to actually find love after missy and is a supposed cheater also he doesn’t get to fully heal from his trauma’s. Luther doesnt get sloane back or ever hears from her and he doesnt get to fully heal from the fact reginald was a piece of shit to him. We dont get to see klaus getting the respect from the family he deserves or needed and we dont get to see him see dave again. we have to live with the fact allison will never get a happy marriage, a good career or her daughter back and staying back. Then of course with five we dont get to see him be able to live his life normally maybe fall in love again with another woman and marry. But no what we got is a wrecked home, families being split, a still broken family but worse.

This season was great but also ass in the end. They should’ve just stuck with season 3 being the end if this is what they were gonna do with it.

[bestygogirl]

BEST YGO GIRL: FINAL ROUND

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Isis Ishtar

gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm

anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive

she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists

as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything

speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny

shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.

also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.

kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy

anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit

Yuzu Hiragi

The entire show would not work if the cast wasn't obsessed with her, and they're all right to stan her, literally gets Sora and Serena to defect from Academia with her sheer charisma, beat Masumi at their gay little rivalry, Yugo spends a few days with her and is ready to die for her, Yuya is simply just the loudest about adoring her And why not? She is so clever and determined, doing the most work out of anyone to figure out the myth plot. Actively trains to keep up with the rest of cast. Even when the universe is conspiring against her and trying to keep her down, she fucking headbutts Roger and tells him off or manifests to help save the world in the ultimate girlboss team-up that was the Arc V finale. Truly any dimension without her is worth upending.

The mysterious magical bracelet that isekai's her to different worlds, the Can-Do attitude, the cool poses (fusion summoning), the ADORABLE character design, AND she was 1/4 of a world-saving hero in the past?? If it weren't for the meddling writers, she would have been the main character

yuzu is everything. literally the plot of arc v hinges on the fact everyone who meets her become just as obsessed with her. and they are totally right to do so

[gettinshiggywithit]

「ᴋɪꜱꜱ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪꜱᴛʟᴇᴛᴏᴇ」

Summary: a mistletoe mishaps at the ADA

Pairing: dazai x gn!reader (platonic with a little unrequited love~)

Genre:fluff

A/N: Sorry Im Late Guys!Hope You Like It!!

“THIS” said dazai, “This will be my masterpiece!”

You couldnt help but roll your eyes at the brunette’s eagerness.

What was he doing,you ask?

Hanging up bunches of mistletoe of course!

Over each doorway and window too.

In fact, if he could reach it,he’d stuck some mistletoe onto it!

This was his way of bringing in, as he said ‘his share of the Christmas spirit’

“Well! That looks like the last of it” dazai said as he got down from the rickety old ladder you’d been holding upright so he wouldn’t crash and fall,although heaven knows he’d have loooved to have fallen🙄.

As he got off the ladder with a little hop! You couldn’t help but let out a breath you didnt know you’d been holding in. He always kept you on your toes that was for sure~

“Dazai…are you sure Kunikida won’t kill you for this?” You said glancing at the mistletoe stuck all over the place with a mix of duct tape, blu tack and even wads of tape made out of frustration.

“Of courseee how could he! Ive only helped bring some much needed ✨Christmas spirit✨ into the ada!”

“And besides,” he paused before continuing, “Kunikida askedd me to help with the decorations! So im just following his orders~” he finished his statement off with a smirk.

“I know..but i dont think this was what h-“

And at that very moment a familiar shout echoes through the ada office,

“DAZAIIIIIII”

Kunikinda practically marched through the door towards your bandaged best friend,who now looked slightly less confident than he had literally five seconds ago.

“Why Kunikida! It’s lovely to-“

“DONT PLAY DUMB WITH ME DAZAI,WHAT THE HELL IS ALL OF THIS?!” The blonde said,motioning to all the mistletoe.

Dazai nonchalantly looked around the room and calmly answered, “wellll when you said ,’help with the decorations’ i thought-“

Kunikida’s frustrated groan cut dazai off for the second time in a row.

“I know what i said,you bandaged bafoon! Ughhh i didnt think you’d,” Kunikida paused and looked to you.

“Y/n please take these down… i think i need to lie down….”

And with that he stormed off to what you could only guess was his apartment.

You glared at dazai who wanted to say something before shushing him with a finger over his lips and a, “not another word. You put them up, you’re gonna take them down yourself.”

You expected cries of outrage and retaliation, but were only met with a reluctant “FINEEEEEE”

And after about an hour, all the mistletoe was gone and you were both on your break.

“You sure you got it all?” You asked as you took a bite out of your sandwich, “yeah…” replied the brunette looking at his crab legs when a glimmer suddenly returned to his eyes.

“But… i saved one for the prettiest girl (handomest boy) i know” he said before pulling out a single stem of mistletoe and dangling it between the two of you.

He looked at you expectantly and you looked at him before rolling your eyes and kissing him on the cheek.

“Awww no kiss on the lips??”

“In your dreams~” you said as you wrapped up your sandwich and headed to your locker.

But little did you know he was looking at your receding form like you’d hung the stars. “Hmm in my dreams…doesnt sound so bad…maybe next year then” he said smiling to himself.

Maybe next year indeed…

Tag list(open):- @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit. Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

[nyxi-pixie]

me when im supposed to be studying but instead im thinking abt mori and dazai again

let me go absolutely insane for a second (not a second. this is so long. i just checked mfer its over 2000 words. i need to be sedated. imprisoned. restrained. examined. smthn)

'a young man with a death wish once came to me and i wanted to rescue him but i couldnt' and like yeah. beast mori couldnt rescue him. but to a certain extent, canon mori sort of has (touch wood for long term but as it is, dazai is so much less intent on dying than he was in dark era).

and it just. i always wonder about the actual intentions of the mimic situation. because on the surface, it looks like what dazai calls it, then deeper than that, it looks like a very calculated long term strategy, and deeper than that, its just. kinda sad.

i just think its interesting that he plans the mimic thing the way he does knowing dazai will leave despite the fact that he doesnt want him to. and dazai himself reasons this as mori being afraid of him, that mori doesnt want dazai to kill him the way mori killed the old boss. but thats? not true? mori seems unbothered at worst and downright proud at best when he tells oda that dazai will probably kill him one day.

so. Why. did he do it knowing dazai would leave? it wasnt his only option; he could have set skk on mimic. like 5 second future vision isnt gonna do much when the danger is alr there (as oda says). and in the face of a massive black hole coming right at u or a building being dropped on you, five seconds really isnt gonna do much. so mimic cld have been removed without a casualty and the mafia could still have got the permit, and not lost dazai. (who is Objectively an asset to the organisation.) But thats not how it happens. Mori plans it exactly as he does knowing oda will die and dazai will leave. he also then makes it continually obvious that dazai would be welcomed back.

and ive been trying to think of other reasons for it, but across canon and insight from beast mori the only thing i can think of comes back to the fact that mori wants dazai alive. alive and aware that the pm is the best place for him, but alive more than anything else.

i think he wants dazai as his heir bc he knows dazai is enough like him to manage it, but i wonder if it also comes back to the fact that mori is trying to rescue him, and i imagine his own reason to live (and lord knows he suggests he needs a strong one in fifteen) is probably tied down to legacy and responsibility for the city. mori devotes his life to the mafia because he wants peace and appreciates that control (rather than eradication) of the worst of yokohama is the way to keep that peace. and thats enough of a reason to live for him. but it isnt for dazai.

dazai doesnt give a fuck about the mafia as a concept bc his motivations dont rest on ideals the way moris do. dazai only ever does anything because of the people he cares about. everything we see him do, EVEN in pm era where people claim he was some emotionless rockman, come back to his friends.

its why hes never at the centre of the plot. he cant be, because he never does anything for himself. fifteen, in which he is a titular character, is a plot that rests vastly on chuuyas back story. dazais original motivation prior to meeting him is just to khs, and only upon meeting chuuya and them having their whole weird Thing and dazai deciding to be an obsessive freak, does he actually have personal stakes in the job. then in stormbringer, its all abt chuuya again, and dazai is only involved bc he cares about him (whatever he actually says aside). tdipud is driven by odas storyline, and so is dark era. dazai is only active in them bc he cares abt oda.

even when he has more idealistic motivations come canon era, they come back to the fact that hes doing it for oda. anything Above And Beyond that promise is bc hes acting to save the agency, who are his Friends. his motivations are deeply personal in complete contrast to moris, and it is perhaps the only place they really differ.

now ironically, it seems to be that the only decisions mori makes influenced by personal feelings are because of dazai. which takes me to the fact that i think he let dazai leave because he recognises thats whats best for him (at least in the short term - and we'll get to That in a second). and its not really a loss for the organisation because dazais too practical to ever dismiss the mafia, and he still gut responds with their methods. so its an easy sacrifice, a justifiable one.

then theres the contrast with the kouyou&kyouka thing. kouyou doesnt want kyouka to taste the light only to have it sour on her tongue when she realises she cant actually have it because of what she is. because kouyou believes anyone tainted by darkness the way they are can never be free of it. (because she couldnt get out herself).

i wouldnt be surprised if mori thinks the same way, certainly in regards to someone like dazai who Is naturally built for the mafia in a way kyouka really isnt. mori at least believes dazais blood is mafia black and whether or not this is true is irrelevant. he Does have to actively fight his impulses in order to do the Right Thing even now. And even doing that, he still falls into their methods when its practical, or when he's paranoid or unsettled enough to need the comfort of habit, hence the way he treats aku even four years removed from the mafia. hence the way he treats atsushi immediately after Q appears (the way he so instantly latches onto his older self literally slapping the self pity he detests in himself and in his former kouhai out of his current one). hence the way the parallels to mori spring up most when dazai has just been shaken by something.

so i wonder if mori let dazai walk into the light knowing (or believing) he wouldnt fit there, and would come back with a stronger commitment to the mafia as a whole because it may be a concept of sorts, but its one that embraces him in a way the light doesnt, and while dazai does things for the people He cares about, its a mutual thing - he feels responsibility for the people that care about Him too (which probably ties in to the desire for a quiet suicide without bothering anyone, and also to the disgust he has w the sheep - because it Isnt a mutual exchange there).

i think it was always intended as a temporary thing (five years away from the mafia maybe. the 'five years' right before dazai comes to take moris place). give him a taste of the light and let him come to his own conclusion that he doesnt belong there, and eventually turn back to the mafia where he does belong.

(despite suggestions that dazai Doesnt really belong there - smthn smthn cat/dog symbolism - though people suggest this implies he belongs w the ada and i dont think thats true either esp given the way hes omitted from the group so often. i think the cat symbolism w dazai likens him more to natsume than atsushi&fukuzawa esp given the way theyre shown tgthr so often. dazai doesnt belong to any organisation or rigid group, he just fits in line w whoever he cares abt and wherever he decides hes content to stay. v much like a cat actually.).

anyway, moris idea seems to be that dazai wld realise the mafia is somewhere he is cared for, and he cares for the people within it in return. though it doesnt seem to have really turned out that way (maybe mori j underestimated the power of the ada's one specialty: forced integration into its found family. lmao)

so you could see it from a practical perspective: mori sending dazai out to show him he really belongs w the mafia and shld come back to them when the time is right, thus mori secures his legacy by leaving the pm to dazai and the mafia is led forward by someone who could handle it the way mori has.

but. hes never pushy abt dazai coming back. hes downright polite abt it (contrasting to the way he treats yosano), and he puts an awful lot of effort into saving dazais life. (kinda funny that he sends chuuya to pick dazais ass up every five seconds with no reward for either of them - chuuya post dead apple literally asks and moris just like ? uh the safety of the city?? bragging rights😁👍? - but when he sends chuuya to save the agency as a whole the price is Heavy like. exchange of a member is crazyyy.)

dazai is always very much considered One Of Their Own. his seat is still empty waiting for him to come back, he and mori post guild are Always cooperating (despite the kinda petty way dazai talks to him during the reunion - the whole 'i burnt the coat' thing - its almost childish, spiteful in a way that speaks to personal hurt that undermines any control he might have had of their kind of distant passive aggressive exchange. but. im too insane abt that interaction that my interpretation cld be entirely bs.)

they communicate through this ridiculous game of chess, and rely on each other to keep both their organisations afloat. when anyone else from the ada tries to pull the same thing, mori pulls out contracts for their damn souls but when its dazai hes just like ? oh ur bf needs to save you again? of course i can spare him to go pick you up from european prison yeah not a problem! ill even glue his vampire cosplay teeth in!!

in connection with that, even with dazais commitment to Doing The Right Thing, he does not do it in the right way. hes perfectly content to use mori-typical underhanded methods to get the ada to the right place. he sends aku To His Death Knowingly for the sake of saving atsushi and by extension the rest of the agency (and he may have known that the vampirism wld sorta bring him back?? but he still sends him to die), and its sorta similar to mori sending aku out to deal with hawthorne and mitchell while hes in rlly bad shape.

anyway dazais methods always make me think of that cunty exchange sskk have in dead apple 'thats not the way we do things in the detective agency' 'was that a bad joke😘 ur too much weretiger🌈✨💖'. but like. dazai Doesnt work the way the ada does. at least not when things get tense enough to drive him back to habit.

i think people like to interpret dazai as being a better person now, and i think in some ways he is. because hes always influenced by the people hes around most. but also, his motivations havent really changed from pm era. he still does what he does for his friends, they just happen to be on the right side now.

anyway. mori puts more work into keeping dazai alive than any other character (bar perhaps chuuya - but thats because mori saving dazai runs hand in hand with chuuya doing it given hes the one sending him) which is. aurgh.

mori and the wish to save people is just interesting in general. the fact that he became a doctor in the first place is telling on its own plus the unhinged way he deals with yosano - of course someone obsessed with saving people would want a cheat card for sending Death packing - but maybe i could believe it was just a power thing, more to his sense of control. playing with life and death so that he can play god. and i think that probably is just a little bit part of it, esp during the war.

but theres also the way he treats doctors within the pm (sb calls it respect for his former position but it may also be knowledge that the better treated they are the more people they will save). And the only reason he works w the tripartite agreement is bc he loves yokohama, wants its people, including its underground, alive and all that (honestly it probably links back to war stuff - hes really intent on peace).

so hes already someone that is intent on saving people (and beast mori makes this obvious w the way he treats atsushi) but theres a personal edge to it w dazai, possibly bc dazai is so much like him, and asgr is kind of obsessed w the saving your mirrors bc you cldnt save yourself thing (sskk. atsushi&lucy. chuuya with his clone. beast akutagawa siblings. beast atsushi&kyouka. i could continue).

im frothing at the mouth but basically, mori does everything for practical reasons in line with his ideals, his grand vision for the PM, but that doesnt mean he isnt making any emotionally charged decisions. its just that theyre always justified by their practical outcomes. (Especially where dazai is concerned). so he can pretend that theyre not driven by personal feelings but IM WATCHING U MORI U CANT HIDE FROM ME.

yk i sometimes wonder if i see him too sympathetically for a guy thats as so sucks as he is but someone has to counterbalance the 75% of the fandom that thinks hes pure evil for no reason and has no thoughts outside of Being Terrible so. here you go have this from the depths of my brain.

[c0rvidfagg0try]

My thoughts on Chimney Punching Buck:

Okay so I’ve seen a lot of Chimney hatred becuz of this scene in particular and it upsets me becuz Chimney was right. I said it.

Now do i think him punching buck was right? No. Do i think he had his reasons and took them out it the wrong fashion? Yes.

Everyone seems to think that Chimney was being irrational in this situation and Buck was a holy saint who did nothing wrong. No. Buck was wrong this time.

Let’s look at Maddie. Maddie has been alone for years. Her parents abandoned her for their grief and she had to raise Buck alone, and then she entered an abusive relationship where she couldn’t get help for years. She was never wanted or desired. And yes Buck loved her but he was a child and couldnt provide the love she deserved.

Maddie running away from Chim and Jee was becuz she felt like she didnt deserve them. She didn’t feel like she was worth saving.

She NEEDED someone to run after her. To show her that she IS wanted, she IS needed.

Buck kept her location a secret from Chim becuz he still looks up to her like a child would to a parent in some ways. He has a bit of a hero worship for her in some ways and doesnt really understand the extent to which she needs help becuz shes been such a strong figure for him their entire life and hasnt really let him see her be weak.

Chimney on the other hand HAS seen her at her worst and knows her intimately. He knows she needs someone to love her with their entire being and thats what he did by running after her. She needed to know she wasn’t alone and Chim did that for her.

And Chim punching Buck was when he was at the height of his emotional breakdown. He was terrified, upset, probably running on very little sleep, of course he was going to snap. I don’t think he should’ve punched Buck but i don’t that makes him the devil.

And neither does him ignoring Buck. He’s obviously frustrated becuz thats his everything right there and he cant find her. She could be dead for all he knows and Buck kept it from him.

Both of them have their flaws in this situation but Chim knew what Maddie needed and Buck didn’t. And Buck’s not in the wrong for not seeing that, he just didn’t know and needed to learn that.

[gamblersdoll]

𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓵𝔂!- 2

the words with the question stuck out more than anything. ‘are you in a relationship?’ rung through his head for weeks at a time. he could have just said no, but then, couldnt it be disrespectful to you?

shit, now he sounds delusional since you aren’t dating him.

he sat in his office most of the day, just pondering on the question and the fact that he couldnt even respond right. he also fucked himself bad when he clicks on your ‘Instagram’ and sees you in your pretty bikini top.

only just the fact you had your arm around some other man, who just so happened to be a classmate. no biggie right? couldnt be.

yet, he kept staring at you. he stares at the birthmark right on your sternum, the small birth mark in your arm and throat. he’s seen them before, but its so much different now.

shit, he was off the deep end for you. and the whole thought process of how youre only a little bit younger than him, and the scandal he could put you in since you were in a mentorship with him. he needs to save people, he wants to. yet, he’s debating on if they mean that much like you.

he also hated how hot it can get in japan, weather sitting at a ninety nine degree temperature at night. both you and him were patrolling since tokoyami was underage and couldnt be out.

thank god that he brought water though, the good kind at that.

“so uh, how was the beach, little one?” hawks mindlessly asked, looking around while you did the same.

“it was fine, it was just somewhat crowded and hot. i dont even know why i went.” you say, you reminded everyone that depending on what temperature it was outside, you could go. heat wasnt one, you hated it.

“ah, well, it is a beach.” he replied back, gathering himself back next to you. “any fun this weekend?”

“i dont know yet. probably not.” you say, shrugging it off and walking beside him. the cool breeze goes through your hair, you sighing in relief that you could at least feel it through your clothes as well.

shit, she’s free this weekend? he thought to himself, ever so occasionally side eyeing you to see if you were looking at him, were you looking at him? no. damnit.

his hands get sweaty in his gloves, him feeling like some highschool kid in love with the popular pretty girl who just so happened to give him a chance. he clears his throat and looks away from you to see anything else.

fuck, you were actually shorter than him, so you were actually a little one… which only turns him on more. he wasnt a big build, but he was still somewhat bigger than you.

“you wanna.. grab something to eat?” he asked, pointing to the ramen shop up the street and smiled. “its on me this time since you basically saved my ass yesterday.”

but you practically saved him in general.

“yeah, sure!” you say, cheerful that they’ll have so much air conditioning inside the shop. plus, youre craving a good ramen.

he also gathers that you do a little ‘happy dance’ when you finally get food. you wiggle side to side in your seat, a relaxed sigh in your throat and, your mood increases. do you even know you do this? probably not. shit, you probably do, you do this just so he can say something about you.

the fuck is wrong with me? he questions that daily, and he can only think about that one question until your body spray wafts into his nose, causing a dopamine rush to his brain and he has to stop himself from his eyes rolling back into his head.

fuck, was he some damn addict?

there’s hints of some fruit, he doesnt get what though. he also smells coconut and now hes only curious, pausing on eating his food. hes gotta know what it is, he had to. he cant just ask you because thatll seem weird. it seem creepy for your mentor asking what body spray you use.

was he actually going to find a time to sneak in and find out for himself later?