#and he knows he can hold out longer.
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looking through the quote photos I took last time I read Rilke's Book of Hours, and now I need to reread Rilke's Book of Hours.
#¶#You many assaulted cities:#Have you never yearned for the enemy?#Yearned that he might besiege you#for long irresolute years‚ until#in hopelessness and hunger you receive him?#He extends like the land beyond your walls‚#and he knows he can hold out longer.#Look from your balconies:#there he camps. He does not tire#or diminish in size or strength.#He sends no messengers to threaten#or to promise or persuade.#He who will overcome you#is working in silence.
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thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life
bonus:
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiguro megumi#yuji itadori#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itadori yuuji#megumi#yuuji#middle one FOUGHT oh my god#angle/arm position/watering can/expression NONE of it wld go right#took 2 hours to get the lines only to realize upon laying down flats that it was still Completely off#so i took a break to bake an entire cake came back n finally it started cooperating#tbh idk if im still shaking off ytd's weird funk or what but this took ages longer than it should have#but its ok bc florist/botanist/general plant nerd megu is free serotonin 2 me#i could not decide on one apron 2 give him#but then i remembered he is th type 2 take his hobby Very seriously of course he would own multiple#looks at the hydrangeas listen . listen I Know i ws bemoaning having 2 draw so many cursing their name etc etc#but u dont understand he had to be holding one he just had to. he told me so. he held a gun 2 my head and said U Know What To Do#and i said ok ok ok ok#there r only 2 i survived#and i wld do anything fr him as we well know . cuffs his jeans puts leaves in his hair <3#jjk may have given me trust issues depression anxiety etc but it Also gave me flowerboy megu and i think that balances it out :)#edit added the bonus here bc reblogs dont show up in the main tags enjoy itfs gross flirting mwah <3
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Got a new idea cooking in my head.
Another DPxDC idea.
A reborn into DCverse Toddler!Danny but also Dad!Dick and Talons.
Danny is reborn into the DCverse (either he's a clone of Dick, a created test tube baby, OR a kid Dick unknowingly had during his amnesia year) and wakes up in the Court of Owls who finally have their Gray Son and will turn him into the greatest Talon ever.
Thing is, Danny still has his ghost powers (King Danny? Idk leaving it open, either that or just able to control clean ectoplasm) and knows whatever fruitloops have him, this will not be fun. So, when none of the Owls are watching him, he uses his abilities to influence a few Talons and they all book it out of the place.
Danny later finds himself walking the dirty Gotham streets with a few Talons, one holding his hand while the others hide in the shadows in case they need to protect the baby Talon they all care for.
Of course, the sighting of a Talon holding a toddler's hand catches the camera's and Oracles attention very very fast.
One of the Batboys is sent out, not Dick he's on a space mission right now, and whoever it is, is shocked to see a toddler that has a LOT of similarities to Dick.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Dick is a reborn Danny's dad in this AU#He wont know until he returns from space though#also Batman isn't in Gotham right now either#hence why one of the Batboys was sent out#Danny leaves the court of Owls like that one peace out meme#with a bunch of Talons in tow#they're his now#he is the prophesied Gray Son#cause he can influence the Talons#BUT he doesn't wanna be under the thumbs of fruitloops#he also isn't gonna leave those poor liminals either#Do I have the image of tiny toddler Danny holding the hands of a Talon while other Talons watch from the shadows as a Bat finds them. YES#Do I also want Dick and Bruce to return to Gotham and find tiny Danny playing with an army of Talons in mansion. Also yes#Dick decides to no longer take Space mission btw#THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN HES OUT IN SPACE. NO MORE!#also he has to come to terms hes a dad now#and keep the Court of Owls AWAY from his son#toddler!danny
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Okay but Tommy drops out of high school — he told his father he was gay and he told him he could either be homeless or go to military school. He goes to military school and joins the army and he likes flying the helicopters because it means he doesn’t have to do any of the killing himself. And he makes some friends.
There's one guy who's like the squad leader who's a few years old and built like a Greek god and Tommy's young and a little bit in love. And they're friends maybe even family because this whole group of people spend every waking (and sleeping) moment together. And they all talk like a family and they all say they love each other and tease each other and it's nice. And one night it's just the two of them trading a flask of some sort of alcohol that Tommy doesn't know the name of and the man asks Tommy why he joined the army and where he wants to be in five years and Tommy trusts this man. He's half way in love with him so he doesn't even think twice before he tells the story about the time he came out to his family and his father nearly beat him to death before sending him here. And the conversation tapers off after that and he doesn’t register the change in the air but when he wakes up the next morning he’s being dishonourably discharged because he poses “unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability”. He knows what that means.
Tommy joins the fire department because he doesn’t know what else to do. He represses anything regarding his sexuality because he knows now that it’s wrong. He almost feels like he has a family again because his captain seems to like him and some of the guys are cool even if they say things he doesn’t agree with. And then he starts agreeing because maybe they’re right and he’s wrong and he’s just inherently wrong. So he follows their leads and is just straight racist because that’s how he can fit in.
And then a black lesbian woman joins and says she’s a black lesbian woman and Tommy doesn’t understand that either because you can’t be queer you just can’t be because it’s wrong.
But he nearly dies and and an Asian man saves his life and a black lesbian woman comes up with a better idea than any of them had and she tells them she’s no different and she is just as capable. So he improves himself he does and he tries to be better but he still can’t be who he is because the last 2 times he was honest about that he was betrayed.
Tommy leaves the 118 and “don’t ask, don’t tell” is lifted and he meets this guy he likes who likes him back and the 217 don’t seem to have a problem with the gender neutral pronouns and he slowly but surely lets himself open up again and be who he is and when the thing with that guy doesn’t work out because he’s moving to New York and Tommy’s not sure he’s ready to leave, it’s okay because his crew is there and they support him and he can still be himself.
#years later he flies a helicopter into a hurricane for the same people who stopped him from going too deep#into something he didn’t even believe in#and there’s this guy with a birthmark above his left eye and the widest smile there is#and he’s saying absolute nonsense and Tommy can’t help but smile#and there’s this other man too also gorgeous but not his type#who has all the same interests as him and he thinks if anything he’s made a new friend#and then the cute dorky guy calls the next day stumbling over his words saying his name is evan - from the rescue mission#and he asks for a tour of the 217 and Tommy agrees because how could he say no#and then he’s asking to go out but he already has plans but rain check? because there’s something about this guy that maybe…#and Tommy thinks that’s it but then evan turns up everywhere#and then things get a bit funny and Tommy feels like it’s his fault and he has to apologise#so he goes to Evan’s house not expecting anything just to say sorry#and Evans there looking absolutely amazing as always and he’s saying things that Tommy can’t help but read into#and he’s getting closer and closer and Tommy can’t help it#he kisses him and keeps his eyes shut just a moment longer just in case#he doesn’t want to open his eyes and see a disgusted look across Evan’s face so he stays closed just a little longer#but evan just looks like his brain has restarted and he’s nodding and joking when Tommy asks if that was okay#and they’re going on a date#and it hurts when evan says those worlds because tommy has spent long enough in a closet being someone he’s not and hurting people#and he can’t go back there he just can’t and he doesn’t want to be the one to force evan into anything so he leaves#and then he gets a call a stuttered invitation to meet at a cafe and of course Tommy says yes#he doesn’t know what he expects but it’s not this#Evans beaming at him with the brightest smile asking him to be his date to his sisters wedding#how can he say no when he looks like that (as long as he never buys coffee again)#and evan holds his hand even though everyone is around and ok that’s good#he’s late to the wedding and practically dead on his feet but he said he’d be there so he comes and the moment evan sees him#hes kissing him and he’s ok that’s great he could get used to this#bucktommy#911 abc#tommy kinard
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Flashback, warm nights.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#Poorly Drawn MDZS#MDZS#Season 1#wei wuxian#lan wanji#jiang cheng#should I have a teen tag? for all the flashbacks? Maybe I'll add it later#Linking the song for its 80's vibes + flashback melancholy + I think its fun#We have finally arrived at the cloud recess flashback! Dramatic first meetings under the moonlight! A sword fight! acknowledgement of skill#Its like everything you see in a 'No Homo' martial arts story that makes you go 'hold on that's a little...'#except we rejoice; for these bitches do be nurturing plot relevant homoromantic tension#I have to give a shout out to 15 year old wwx for in all honesty he had no way of knowing who he was facing#on day *one* of cultivation Christian summer camp! talk about bad luck#ok some other notes: I wanted to give non mxy!wwx distinct features while still looking somewhat consistant#and i think im happy with it! Softer bangs + mole + different hair tie ain't much but it works for me#they'll soon all be in white with small accents so I gotta do what I can#What im not happy about is my paneling B*/ theres no excuse for why I went back to the bad 3 square format other than I was lazy#Sadly I do these in batches so my bad habits stick around for a little longer
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i can't stop thinking how funny it would be if gareth's brothers did in fact recognise him and were just like 'well clearly he has his reasons so let's all be good big bros and pretend we don't know him' and then spend the next few weeks before he goes off on his quest pretending extremely badly that they have never ever met this kitchen boy before nope not at all even while other knights are looking at them and looking at gareth and going 'hmmm'
#gawain can't resist giving weird brotherly pep talks every time he passes him like 'keep up the good work kid! we're all rooting for you!'#and then turns to ragnelle to whisper loudly 'that was ok that was normal and convincing right' while she rolls her eyes#gaheris bumps into him in a corridor and startles like a deer and is like 'hahaha random kitchen boy i certainly have never met before what#fine weather we are having in these parts hahaha i shall be leaving now through the door over there good bye' and then#walks into a broom cupboard and has to awkwardly back out again while gareth stands there#holding a broom that he was just about to put back in the broom cupboard#agravaine nearly manages to pass by without incident while gareth is scrubbing floors but at the last second brotherly instinct takes over#and he kicks the bucket of suds over yelling 'you missed a spot dickwad!' before sprinting away#gareth is just 'wow my brothers are bigger freaks and weirdos than i remember i don't want to be associated with these losers'#meanwhile arthur is like 'kay can you please just tell them all that you know who he is because i cannot take this farce much longer'#kay: ... oh so now im not allowed to have fun am i? fucking tyrant
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"The Knight Of Dawn being a near exact copy of Silver is lazy!" You absolutely think the curtains are just blue, don't you?
#Y'all are free to call me crazy BUT#If Yana went out of her way to design KoD to be an exact replica of his son when that isn't the case for ANY OTHER Parent-Child Pair#Don't you think that was intentional?#If they are the only odd pair out don't you think that means something? Or are the curtain's just blue to you?#TKoD is an antithesis to Silver. He is everything Silver could/would have been had he not been put to sleep and adopted by Lilia#THAT is why TKoD is Silver but with longer blonder hair. Because he's supposed to be an undesirable outcome for Silver#A dog forever chained to his master's side without the courage to act on his own sense of what's right and wrong#Only when he isn't under the eyes of those he owes his life to and hold that above his head the does TKoD do what he knows is right#He lets Lilia escape with Malleus during his fight with Meleanor. In the middle of battle he gives the innocence a chance for life#And he's only allowed to do so because Henrik isn't there to interfere. Because for once he can act on his own morals and help someone#So when we see the Knight of Dawn next to Silver we aren't supposed to see a father and his son#We're supposed to see what Silver COULD have been had he not been raised by Lilia. Had he been raised to be a tool instead of an individual#A right his biological father was never able to obtain for himself#I guess this is the hill I'm dying on now. Yippee#TWST Knight of Dawn#The Knight of Dawn#TWST Silver#Silver Vanrouge#Twisted Wonderland Spoilers#TWST Spoilers#TWST Book 7 Spoilers#Twisted Wonderland Book 7 Spoilers#Twisted Wonderland
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horror having crazy irrational thoughts about food,,,,, like bro thinks there's poison in the cupcakes. someone snuck razor blades into the bread and once he takes a bit it'll cut him up. somehow there's mold growing inside the bananas and when he eats it the mold colony is gonna start growing on HIM and then he'll become a moldy skeleton and oh god and oh god and he is paranoid but hes so hungry.... BUT WHAY ABOUT BUGS IN THR FOOD,,,, BUT HES HUNGRY.... a struggle it truly is
probably doesnt help that dust and killer could feed into it. killer could make off hand remarks on how he snuck razor blades into the meat horror's attempting to eat (to fuck around with horror. just some eeeever so slight psychological anguish. and also because killer would just be the type of casually carry those around. what for you may ask well decide for yourself) and then immediately horror's mood drops and he storms out of the dining room. dust and horror go on a sweet little picnic in a beautiful field and its all beautiful and inconspicuous but dust made the food and horror knows that look in his eyes. horror knows dust was muttering something about chemicals a day or 2 ago. the food is poisoned isnt it??? and dust just smiles and motions for horror to eat it
#imagine being starved and then you hang out with two guys who make food dangerous#imagine the dread. the rational part of his mind telling him not to eat it but his instincts are so so so hungry#horror eats the food because it genuinely looks so good but he knows he just fucked up#they make eachother so SO worse........ they are SO bad for eachother its amazing#and horror probably can't cook all that well too so he definitely needs to learn which is a whole other struggle with his eating issues#MAKE THEM BREAK UP ALREADY THEY CAUSE TOO MUCH SUFFERING FOR EACH OTHER 💔💔💔#sorry triglycercule but no 🧡 they deserve to suffer together as retribution for everything they did#sometimes i feel like this angry torturous mtt that all hate eachother is a bit too ooc#but then again..... god is it so fun to come up with ideas for the mtt to hurt eachother#its so delicious 🧡 like dust's poisoned food! horror eats more because it tastes so good#but he can feel the poison kicking in. he can feel his body slowly start to ache and his movements slow as he eats more and more#and soon he can't move. he's paralyzed and in pain in this flower field with dust#and as he starts to pass out he reaches his hand out a bit for dust. just for the smallest bit of comfort#horror's absolutely furious at him for poisoning him but dust still holds his hand back#dust holds horror in his arms with a smile as they lay in the flower field enjoying the moment#as if you didn't just fucking poison the fuck but whatever that's horrordust for you!#dont worry horror gets him back by stealing papyrus's scarf and ripping some of it off to wear in front of dust#he sews a little patch of the scarf onto his jacket and dust is staring at that shit. that is a TAUNT#yeah this is papyrus's scarf. what are you gonna do about me ripping some of it huh? poison me AGAIN???#theyve all grown tolerances for different poisons because the mtt genuinely cannot stop trying to kill eachother#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#god i struggle to differentiate because hc and rant so much because i swap around and change hcs so frequently that there isnt consistency#ive now decided that rants MUST be substantially longer and less put together to be a rant and not a hc. and that shall be DECREED#utmv#sans au
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the atypical family is everything so far. they better do the father-daughter relationship justice.
#star stumbles#the atypical family#kdrama#i want ina to fight it out with her dad already just say what's on your mind !!! let's communicate!#i'm hurting for her. they're so distant and you want gwiju to do better#like man. you need to be there for you daughter. but also depression is a serious illness#and i'm not 100% convinced the show is actually going to do that portrayal justice either#but you know i'll hold out hope#it looks like she did have some sort of power and it caused the accident? or her mom did? not sure#but yea.. he keeps giving her a rabbit every year very caught in the past but also#like 'i could not protect you/i can no longer protect you' so i'll give you this rabbit instead#year after year as an apology for not being your father
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whatever you do, don't imagine a young J Corvin waiting every day at the end of their drive, hoping today is the day the mail carrier finally brings a letter from their very best friend
#i'm personally about to start sobbing#how many letters do they try sending#how long does that sweet gentle soul wait - I actually don't want to know#little too close to home frankly lmao#grandpa i don't CARE that something evil lives in fernweh and wants to eat me or control me or whatever - that's my bestie!!#I just did James's route and this part hurt so much worse#fernweh saga#like J is SO scared to ask MC if they can write this time & they're trying to be SO supportive--#--of the fact that the last time they tried MC was going through an incredibly difficult time in their life#but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt so badly#and like it's obviously not MC's fault bc they never even got the letters in the first place#but now I want to cry thinking about how my MC hugs James at the police station when they meet again and how he's probably like ???#my MC missed him and James is like 'weird reaction for someone who couldn't be bothered to write back'#'and shattered my little fifteen year old heart into pieces'#i'm making wild assumptions about the inner workings of J's mind here but anyway#j corvin#all i'm saying is if my best friend was ripped out of my life and I tried writing them I would be religiously checking the mailbox#probably far longer than I should but still trying to hold out hope
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We could make Sqq a transformer in his past life. Like optimus prime sorta transformer. Cybertronian.
He'd be the only surviving seeker (winged guy) on the autobots side (I don't know all the canons but I don't think they have, like, any). Pretty young when the war started - unfathomably ancient for humans, the kiddie of the group to them.
And he arrives on earth. Discovers the Internet. Immediately gets hooked on critiquing stupid Web novels in every language, which being a sentient machine he can do at great speed without forgetting anything. Decides to read the final chapter during a battle because he's so close to the end and airplane had better pull SOMETHING good. Is so infuriated (distracted) by the ending he messes up and immediately gets killed by some low level decepticon. After FIVE MILLION years of war he gets offed by some loser over a stupid human story that wasn't even very good. He dies SO furious.
And then he gets reborn a human.
He is, as the kids say, big mad.
How by Primus do they do anything??
#I can't decide if back on earth it's post reveal or not because the revelation that a cybernetic alien soldier was the one being catty in#the comment section of his harem story would break sqh. It'd be so funny if he didn't believe him tho#Sqq trying so hard to blend in when he knows basically nothing about even modern human norms outside of stories and memes#No one can decide if Sqq just has hallucinations or has been possessed by an eldritch monster#Sqq: *under his breath because his thoughts are so hard to hold on to now* I MISS being able to fly myself#Sqq: *drops important items like xiuya because he keeps forgetting he doesn't have hammer space anymore* *heavy sigh*#Sqq: *does a weird twist of his limbs because he can no longer turn into a vehicle* *mortified*#Mqf: shixiong... Is everything alright?#Sqq; who's been trying to air drop his medical information to his hard drive because he's too squeamish to say it out loud: yeah - Yes.#Sqq with great feeling: humans... Are so SOGGY. You're all so SQUISHY and full of all sorts of nasty FUILDS. I have to consume SO much#And all I get is SMELLY#No wonder your species started global warming#Sqh: bro can you not??#He adores lbhs cooking tho.#svsss#shen qingqiu#transformers#scum villain's self saving system#the scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#He's an idiot but he's an incomprehensibly ancient battle hardened 7m tall metal warrior squished into mortal form idiot#He is not picking up the signs lbh is putting down#At least once he figures out human limitations he can be a good strategist again
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hard work being a single Motha
#nina speaks#keep my boys on me at all times#like a GLOCK#sorry guys hard work raising two beautiful boys#and this hideous tumor in my head#slay!#god i love when the pinterest is updated tho#i lied no the fuck it’s not nina lmao#but that shit takes me hours so im taking a break#when im depressed i just sit in the jk and rs boards#and sigh deeply and twirl my hair#kings truly also mechanic stan wheeeew#love u rural colorado normie lumberjacked probably autistic KING#whoever asked me abt ikes friend group#hold on boss i gotta get my NOTES out#yes i am insane#also i do look kind of insane#but tfw so much happened to ur body#and face that u can…no longer look at urself in the mirror#i had a stannic attack and had to do my makeup out of the corner of my eye#but u know self care jump scare same difference yeah#i hate being ILL i want to answer october spooky time asks#here’s to hoping#here’s to coping#also the college moodboards don’t talk to me like THEYRE HAPPY???#JK WEARING COLORS?? FOR THE CHILDREN??? ;-;;#RAVENSTANS LIL READING GLASSES#tfw u clown ur sbf everyday and call him cuatros ojos and he realizes uve never been to an optometrist#and u keep squinting at things when u read them but not in a dyslexic way#in a those letters are blurry and idk what they are but that’s normal right everyone’s letters look like that HUH??? HUUUH NO BABY
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.
#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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happy birthday to me i celebrated by looking at my favourite sequence of images in the world and crying over it at half past midnight.
#im. 24 now.#appleyaps#gonna be honest with you guys idk where the fuck my life is heading atm.#but if this manga taught me anything its that i have to keep making choices in order to achieve my own happiness.#ive been making strides... im now exclusively using the men's toilets wherever i go.#and im working on getting a professional diagnosis so i can go on hrt... but the waiting lists are so long.#i took the transfer but now it turns out i still have to wait longer... even though i was promised help quickly.#i dont know how much longer i can take this though. being uncomfortable with myself. im sick of it. i just wanna live.#theres so many things id like to do. but my body and my voice are holding me back from it.#my mom and her boyfriend know now. but my mom doesnt understand and has never referred to me as a woman as much as she does now.#at least everyone at school uses he/him for me now. i was finally assertive about it in my new class#and everyone there calls me teddie. though i'd like people to use tom for me as well. my friends do.#i just need to be even more assertive from now on. im working on it. im doing my best. i wanna live.#at least i have lots to look forward too. thats whats keeping me going honestly. and my friends.#the hope that one day i get to look in the mirror and finally see myself. i want to believe that it can happen. i need it to happen.
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So, Mr. Jenn's grandma is in her 90s, and has been in the early stages of dementia for a while now. She's still coherent, and still able to take care of herself and live independently so far, so there's been no move to put her in an assisted living facility. But this does mean we hear some kind of wild stuff. She has a lot of paranoia and has been complaining about people in her attic (she lives in a one-story apartment), and recently she told my MIL (her daughter) that the people who were out to get her are also after MIL and FIL's new Labrador puppy. The people in her attic have also attacked her with some kind of ray gun? (Not actually sure if that's what she called it, but her descriptions of it basically sound like some kind of sci-fi weapon that they're apparently using to knock her down.)
Anyway, the latest now is that my FIL and I have back-to-back birthdays (me on Monday, him on Tuesday), and we always celebrate together with a dinner on whatever the closest Saturday is when our birthdays fall on weekdays. He called Mr. Jenn today (they talk every day when Mr. Jenn gets off work) and tells him that grandma will not be at the birthday dinner tomorrow, because 'no one loves her.' As a specific example of this, she said 'Jenn hasn't spoken to me in two years.'
We have a family get-together at his parents' (grandma included) for every major holiday, plus every birthday (hers included). She's seen me multiple times in the last few months. She just saw me two weeks ago, for Mr. Jenn's birthday. I remember talking to her at his birthday. My FIL told Mr. Jenn he specifically remembers me talking to her at his birthday.
No idea why she has decided that I specifically have not spoken to her in years (we get on well because she was a bit eccentric even before the dementia, and I go down enough weird rabbit holes that I can hold a conversation on lots of things without judgement because when you've sought out the parts of the internet I've sought out, you can't judge), but dementia is really a bitch if it makes you turn down a free dinner.
#personal#i've been wondering for a while how much longer she'll be able to hold out#i'm hoping she passes before it gets to a point that she has to go into care#because i know the loss of her independence would be a huge blow to her#but i'm wondering if this is indicative of it worsening#does she think she hasn't seen me in two years?#or just that i've ignored her at every family get-together for the last two years?#either one is not great in terms of what it says about her cognitive function#she can be a bit tantrum-y dementia aside#so i'm not surprised she's throwing a fit#just at what's prompting it#i'm not offended#it's not her fault#just kind of baffled at the various ways cognitive decline presents#my grandpa in the last few years of his life didn't recognise any of us#grandkids or kids#and thought he was still on a navy ship in ww2#she doesn't seem to be slipping in that way#it's more these delusions about people out to get her and now me snubbing her
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holy moly guys I found a really cool az and volo encounter comic on Twitter (tweet is by original artist)…
EDIT: Updated with rough translation below!!
1st page: Togepi: Wow, so many flowers! Hmm?
2 page: You there, you seem like a strange person. You’re larger than Volo. Do you like flowers? Oh, Volo!
3rd page: Volo: so you’re looking for a Pokémon?
Az. …Yes, i’m in a journey.
Volo: You come from a faraway region, I imagine?
Az: from here, to the west…what is it. (Gonna split this into multiple parts lol)
4th page continued
Volo: oh no, it’s just…your belongings, and clothings are something not commonly seen in this areas. Yet you seem to have make great use of them for a long time. Is your journey a long one?
Az:…. Volo: my apologies! To verify such a rare person, thing, event is of a merchant’s nature! It was a rather ill-mannered question, please do forget-
Az: 3000 years. Nearly 3000 years I have been travelling.
Volo: You are kidding me! You hold some distinctive conversation techniques! You are very amusing! What sort of a Pokémon that a person like you seek to find is it even if it would take 3000 years?
Az: ‘so he asks many questions in the end….’ “…floette. A Pokémon said to appear with a flower. In my region it is not rare. It is one of them.”
5th page: Togepi: 3000 years? I don’t understand at all but he has traveling for a long time? Torkoal: you would believe such a tale, young lady?
Togepi: he doesn’t seem to be the type of person to lie.
Torkoal: ohoho, you are astute, young lady.
Togepi: and about floette? She likes flowers? I would like to meet her!
Torkoal: ohoho
Volo: ‘his way of speaking…seeking a Pokémon doesn’t seem to be a lie…’ “To say it is uncommon, yet for you it is the most special one, isn’t it? Spending eternal time traversing landmarks you in seeking the special one…that is a very dreamy story! Az:….
Volo: I myself will be supporting you! I too would…
AZ: don’t do it. The unending pain of not knowing when it will all end…it cannot be called life. It’s hell.
6th page: Volo: I apologize if I offended you. I cannot comprehend 3000 years but I just thought taking time to pursue your dreams is a fabulous thing… I mean, what is 3000 years? Is it in the form of a jest?
Az…I’m tired. I will rest.
Volo; oh my, is that so. Well then have a good rest.
Togepi: that person, did he get mad?
Torkoal: cohoho, no…..perhaps he was reminded of the past.
7th page: Togepi to az: you like flowers, don’t you?
8th page: oh, are you already departing?
Az: yes. You wanted to hear my story. To live a life longer than an average person chasing a dream means you would suffer longer than any other person. It means you are the only one cut off from this world. This body of mine…from the dream I sought…must be punishment. You must not overstep.
Volo: punishment I see… yet if I were to be able to live long…ha ha…yes..
Az: you don’t understand, do you?
9th page:
Volo: "even if 100 years pass, I would like meet you and hear your traveling stories again! It’ a matter of perspective, isn’t it ? After all, I wish to take time to know the world better! I want to chase my dreams!! If the world were to punish me for this curiosity then I wouldn’t want to live in such a ridiculous one. And if I am able to fulfill my dreams…even the world…! I can live for a long time so I can…!
Az: I don’t know what kind of dreams you have but it is impossible to expand lifespan! Volo: Well then, how did you became the way you are now? …wait please, I would like to talk little bit more… (Le epic Pokémon appears)
Togepi: hey, this isn’t fair/right! Torkoal: I’m sorry young lady, this cannot be known.
10th page: im amazed! I didn’t know how much Pokémon were hidden until now. It’s like trained soldiers, or a weapon. You yourself beyond a glance appear to be honest and complicated individual… (So many unknown Pokémon…should I used THAT to rout them? No we need to know this man’s secret by revealing mine.)
Az: if we were to meet again hundred years later, I will tell you.
Volo: understood! For that we’ll have to work on that! (An interesting method to expand lifespan …a thinking that sounds like an insurance policy!) now it is the best time for me to carry out my plan successfully!
Torkoal: farewell young lady and thank you. It was fun.
Togepi: I hope you meet floette again soon. Give my regards to floette! Torkoal: kohoho…thank you young lady, thank you: I pray that after a hundred years or so later…we don’t meet again…”
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