#and he just has one random molotov cocktail

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

I have no idea how I could inspire such majesty but @littlewitty​:

@incorrect-ikevamp-quotes for inspiring this

Original video is by LADBABY and edits are by me

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

im not usually one for time loop or fix-it-time-travel fics but like. an outsider pov where stobin are the only ones who went back to season one would be so good like imagine you go into school one day and the most popular dude in school has now surgically attached himself to this random fuckn band nerd sophomore and any time someone implies that's weird he's like why???? it's robin?????? and then one day you catch them in the parking lot going through his trunk and he pulls out a molotov cocktail and the weird band girl is like 'okay it's sweet that you remembered how much i like the molotovs but also i feel like you shouldn't have brought that to school' and he just goes like oh yeah fair and you're sitting there like IS IT???? IS IT FAIR??????

[major-comet]

took notes about last stand while i was watching, because that's just what I do these days to keep my thoughts in order. under the cut for Length

TLDR: I really liked it

erik's suit jesus lord

the music in this "not too distant future" scene sounds like star wars. like i had double check who composed this movie it sounds so much like star wars

logan using a random fire to light his cigar while everyone's under fucking attack,,,

"we work as a team, logan" bestie his Whole MO is that he always runs off alone.

goddamn these training fights are intense, ajsjs

"you're a guy your minds only on one thing" poor bobby he looks so upset

"department of mutant affairs" why do i feel that this will end poorly

oh that's why i feel it will end poorly

OH THE KID WHO WAS WATCHING TV LAST MOVIE IS OKAY thank god

when does pietro show up, by the way. I know he's in at least one of these movies

oh so this is Really the eugenics movie of the trilogy. like we've moved from just political eugenics and uh. cerebro eugenics into full on medical eugenics

THEY'RE RUNNING THEIR EUGENICS LAB OUT OF ALCATRAZ???? ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING???

oh rouge wants that cure

"there's nothing to cure" ororo you just manipulate the weather (very well, but still). rogue drains lifeforce through skin contact. i don't think your situations are at all comparable

the more xmen movies i watch, the more i realize that the mcu sucks. by having to work to fit in with a huge, sprawling cinematic universe, the individual stories get muddled. x-men gets to have a very cohesive trilogy, because you don't need to take a break to watch a bunch of other movies in order to understand what's happening.

hi jean

i love logan and ororo, they should team up more often

is this ceo guy angel's dad, i can't remember

oh yeah he totally is

they can't make x-men movies anymore because this shit is still so goddamn topical and disney's afraid of that

oh my god???

they have to have erik do a few things in every movie that reminds you that he's a bad guy, and i'm so upset that in this one abandoning mystique is one of them

is anyone gonna actually ask "hey guys. what the fuck happened to scott"

oh she ripped his belt off Fast

oh Now we ask where scott is. after you just made out with his girlfriend

ARE YOU SERIOUS???

what do you fucking mean,,,i didn't know,,,

erik's pained scream of charles' name,,,ororo and logan collapsing together,,,

okay i feel bad for rouge, but bobby taking kitty ice skating is Very Cute

i was about to say "where the fuck do you think you're going" but yeah no, she's pretty obvious about it

"you're not doing this for some boy, are you?" logan i love you

i think logan is my favorite of the gruff father figures i've come across in superhero movies. i started typing that literally as he said "i'm not your father, i'm your friend"

logan, guy who notably has metal covering his bones, loves to put himself in situations against the guy who controls metal

i'm sorry i know logan's giving his big dumb "we're X-Men" rallying speech, but god it's so funny how scott died just totally unceremoniously. it barely affected the narrative, and it happened So Fast.

bobby's the gay one in the comics, isn't he

i couldn't find an answer on google, but I wonder what game these kids are playing in the car (looks single player, funnily enough)

it totally just hit me that nightcrawler isn't in this movie. what'd they do with that little gay boy, i miss him

"oh my stars and garters" hi beast

oh my god not only do we have metal bones guy going against magneto, buy now they've brought Metal Skin Boy into the mix

okay i have to admit throwing flaming cars like molotov cocktails is sick as fuck

wow it's almost like the training fight at the beginning was setting something up

halle berry you're so hot the storm hair looks so pretty on you

oh my god the shot of eric sitting alone at the chessboard was what finally made me cry

yeah obviously the cure isn't a final end-all be all, that's Magneto baby you can't keep him down

that was really good! oh my god i've finally watched a trilogy of superhero movies and liked all three movies a Lot (and not in a "I know that sucked but I still loved it" kind of way, I never thought I'd see the day

[itsbrucey]

Okokkok so Janette. *claps hands togheter* Her full name is Janette Biswar but went as Jane B in highschool since she was embarrassed of her last name (nobody could pronounce it). Her mum was called Diana and she is the second person to ever run the cult which is called Children Of The Woods and its dedicated to the monsters in this world. Like seeing them as a gods or gods creatures. (Fun fact this world is like our own but with monsters living alongside people :]])

Soo Janette had to compete with her best friend Huan Lin who was the son of an important member of the cult, for the leadership. She ended up getting it by killing Huan :[ And she has nightmares to this day about it.

She adopted a kid named Oliver which she’s technically the aunt of but his parents died when he was younger so she took him in. Janette, this is now in the storyline of when the main story is set btw, meets Adele Beckett, who is Ryan’s mum.

And they kind of have a relationship? Not romantic in any sense cuz Janette is aromantic and Adele is cheating on her husband Josh. And their whole thing is that Janette had told Adele about her being aro and explaining how she didn’t want anything romantic over and over and Adele pretended to get it and later in the story Adele brings it up in an argument. Adele is very aro and transphobic which is like- girl nooo. And Janette constantly offers that the two have a friendship outside their relationship and Adele always denies it since she wants a romantic relationship (douchebag characters andbskjd)

And Janette dies twice in the story, which is first to a molotov cocktail fire (molotov cocktail is like a bomb made with alcohol) set by Adele and then she gets revived by Sprites, one of the monsters, and at the moment she has blue highlights in her eyes and every time her skin is cut, a new blue flower sprouts from the cut.

There will be more!! Kind of a overview of what happens in the two’s story heheh. Could go in more detail but I shall another time!! Hope this isn’t to long :D

I haven't responded to this bc I've been keeping it in here for storage but then I just screenshotted it!! I hit my head a lot so forgive me /hj

Ok this is toxic Yuri........WOW. MESSY!!!! IM INTO IT, THATS FUN AS HELL.

The cult worshipping monsters in the woods is so fucking cool.... And it's like. Tangible? Or like it's cool that the cult has very real benefits from BEING a cult and I think that also really helps with the violence of it. You can justify killing for something if you literally know it exists. Dope as hell.

Janette cannot catch a break. Damn. Killed her friend, adopted a kid, then winds up in a weird toxic situationship(?) with this random white woman?????

I DIDN'T KNOW ADELE WAS RYAN'S MOM!!!!!! it makes sense now but I'm curious to why Ryan has horns but she doesnt? Assuming he's part monster.

ADELE IS CHEATING. AROPHOBIC.... TRANSPHOBIC.......KILLED JANETTE??????? the ultimate white woman. /j

Also I LOVE LOVE LOVE the " revived but kinda fucked up now" trope with flowers and plants,,, flowers sprouting from the skin and blue highlights is so SLAY

I love them so much and IM SORRY I JUST NOW RESPONDED!!!!!!!! Feel free to drop more OC lore anytime you want bc I've read this over like 10 times

[somebodyssherlock-heterodyne]

HI i need ur bullet point ideas for the tattooed pete/cult priestess vespa/name reveal rabbit hole we’ve gone down on my desk in da morning (please the urge to write this is so trying i need the planning PLEASE)

OK so I don't have much other than what I already posted BUT

-Vespa became a cult leader when she was wasted between assassination jobs and saw a bunch of total randos basically lay siege to the local government building of the local shitty government with like, molotov cocktails and a riding lawnmower that had been modded into a tank. Vespa, who had until two hours ago worked for said shitty government and hated them even more as a result, helped them out, which counts as automatic inauguration into the cult of the Angel of Brahma. She lent her services as a medic to those injured, decided to also take a look at their sundry other sick/injured members, and realized that this cult not only overthrows local shitty governments, they also act as a safe haven slash underground railroad for anyone trying to get the hell out of dodge. She crashes on their couch and wakes up the next morning with a shit hangover, and a bunch of flowers on the coffee table next to her. The flowers are from a few refugees she'd helped out, who wouldn't have been able to leave the planet to reach the next outpost of the cult without her patching them up. Vespa is curious enough to ask, and discovers that the cult of revolutionaries who smuggle people out for only the price those people can actually afford to pay isn't, like, unified or anything. There's no central leadership, just the tenants of the Angel of Brahma as they were written by the cult's founder and the only known member to have met the Angel in person. Vespa is, on one hand, busy as shit, but also like. These branches of cult don't really have established communication or any centralized interplanetary leadership, or interplanetary members, and hey, she gets around, she can pass messages along. So Vespa ends up connecting the disparate groups together, and giving them some advice on how to establish good governments to replace the shitty ones, which turns into accidentally becoming the leader of a cult that spans several dozen solar systems and has a grudge against basically every government they've lived under. Vespa does some digging into the Angel, cause like, that's their beacon of hope, yknow? That's the symbol people turn to. She can do some research. She turns up fuck all, except that the Angel has to be a goddamn shape-shifter to have made it out of New Kinshasa and that they might actually straight up be a biblical angel cause she's struggling to come up with anything else that could've scared Brahma's whole government this shitless. There's also a lot of like. Prison breaks and thefts that happened right afterwards, that apparently were so ballsy and impossible that while the near destruction of New Kinshasa put the fear of God into the Brahmese government, this stuff is what cemented it. So she shares this with her fellows, not realizing she's written a sermon, and they ask for more so she digs up more and oops she's written the mythology of the Angel of Brahma.

Eventually the cultists formalize it and it's customary to have a faceless image of the Angel behind a little statue of their high priestess Vespa on your altar. Someone designs cult robes that double as riot gear for when you're toppling tyrants with molotov cocktails and modded riding lawnmowers, and puts some fancy embroidery on Vespa's, and then Vespa gets asked to lead a couple celebrations and that's when she realizes this is her life now.

-Peter’s tattoos coincide with him getting absolutely trashed in response to the first, second, and third anniversary of Mag's death, so he can't really make himself think about them long enough to book an appointment and get them removed. The cat whiskers were the first one, suggested by a random child he met on the street while wasted, who he allowed to draw cat whiskers and ears on him because they asked very politely if they could. Some jackass walked by and was like "that's so ugly I bet he'll wash it off as soon as you leave" and the child was visibly trying so hard not to cry so Peter, seventeen and wasted off his ass, said "bitch bet" and grabbed the kid's hand and they got to watch him get their drawing turned into a tattoo and they held his hand in case it hurt. This is the only tattoo Peter actually has a full memory of getting, and he doesn't remove it because 1 spite 2 that child was ADORABLE he can't betray them like that.

The mascara streaks he knows next to nothing about besides the fact that he wasn't wearing mascara when he went out to kill half the cells in his liver, so his best guess is that he decided he needed mascara tears for the vibes that night and his brain jumped to "get mascara tears tattooed on" instead of "apply mascara and continue crying".

The Aurinkay shipper one he is unfortunately perfectly able to extrapolate because it happened during the height of his fan boy phase when he was writing RPF about Vespa and Buddy and some BITCH had the audacity to tell him that nobody from Brahma could possibly ~understand them~ well enough for proper characterization (the worst thing they could have said to 19yo Peter Nureyev given that like five of his recent heists were in the name of finding out more details about their crimes so his fanfiction was as accurate as possible). Hence, well. Brahmese calligraphy. He went on to write his most popular fic to date afterwards though, to this day it's the standard by which all other Aurinkay RPF is judged.

-When Vespa asks them to make a stop so she can lead the high holy day of her cult, Peter registers nothing besides being glad for the amazing distraction from who's death day it is. They are halfway through the sermon, and Peter has been thinking 'wow this sounds a lot like that prison break I staged when I was eighteen' which turns into OH NO when Vespa finishes the introductory tale with 'today we praise the Angel of Brahma for freeing all those they have freed, from prisons of stone, prisons of law, prisons of fear, and prisons of oppression.' He spends the entire rest of Vespa's run through of myths/genuinely giving praise to this person who has inspired so many people convincing himself that hospitalizing himself so he can leave is not worth how pissed Vespa would be. Juno is holding his hand, face totally blank, trembling with what is absolutely repressed laughter. They get back to their room while Jet, Buddy, and Rita give Vespa all the compliments she can take, and Juno barely waits for the door to close before he's laughing too hard to stand. When he finds Peter’s folder of RPF fics he started working on after joining the Carte Blanche (a mix of rewrites now that he can be more on point with personalities and sequel fics that may or may not be slightly to the left accounts of their adventures on the Carte Blanche), Juno raises the very valid point that Peter has nothing to be ashamed of considering the sermons Vespa read last week.

-Vespa starts talking more openly about the Angel to the crew, both as "proofread this sermon" and, more rarely, as admiration for the symbol that she focused on during the darkest time of her life, one she might not have made it through that darkness without. Buddy starts looking into the Angel too, because she likes doing things for her wife. Rita's just curious about what kind of person you gotta be to make Vespa Illkay religious.

It's actually a job that has the crew finding out Peter’s from Brahma, given the necessity of someone who can read Brahmese calligraphy for this particular heist. Vespa asks if he wants to join the cult and he turns her down flat, immediately after the words are out of her mouth. Vespa, suspicious, asks him why not. Peter replies that it wouldn't feel right to do so, and the subject is dropped, though Vespa takes 'it wouldn't feel right' to mean 'I don't support what they stand for enough to fight for it' and she adds that as a point in favor of Peter’s origin being 'wealthy heir from the Outer Rim who got into crime for thrills, probably from New Kinshasa'.

This causes some tension, but no super major issues, until Rita's digging into the Angel turns up the name 'Peter Nureyev' and said Peter Nureyev has a fucking heart attack walking into the kitchen and hearing Rita say 'Mistah Nureyev', to which he unthinkingly responds 'when did Juno tell you my name?' And immediately drowns the whole kitchen in dead silence, because Juno is standing by the coffee maker about to ask where the hell Rita learned that cause it wasn't from him, Jet, Buddy, Vespa, and Rita were discussing the true name of the Angel of Brahma before those two walked in, and everyone is coming to several realizations in very quick succession.

When Peter can finally be coaxed out of where he's folded himself into the trunk of the Ruby 7, Buddy suggests they all sit down and talk, and that's when the call about the Brahmese government trying to hunt down Vespa's fellow cultists comes through.

Peter and Vespa, eerily enough, are operating on the exact same wavelength, that being 'you fucked around and now you're finding out' though Vespa is furious and Peter is mostly just bitter and tired and wishing he could've been done with this shit but NO the Brahmese government just HAD to be a dick again even after he'd gone through felony charges like a bucket list dissuading them from that. Fine. Fucking fine. They fucked around and now they're finding out.

So the Carte Blanche leads the Brahmese revolution to victory, with Juno being a BAMF to so public and epic a degree the cult names him the Sunlit Saintess, establishes a new government and a set of lovely houses that will await their retirement, huzzah the death laser system is dismantled even if the flight one is left intact, and hm. Resources are a problem.

Cue Carte Blanche stealing a truckload of crap from the nearest rich bastards, both necessities and not; art, fabric, food, supplies, jewelry, so on and so forth, both the stuff people need to survive and the stuff that helps people live. They make rather a lot of stops in that fashion- craft supplies, tools of various trades, the list is varied and longer than Peter is. With Brahma acting as a local haven for everyone fleeing a dictatorship, there's a big resurgence in culture and the Outer Rim finally has a planet with a solid government that weilds enough power and resources to actually have diplomatic relations with the Solar planets. Postwar diplomacy is actually going alright for the first time ever, basically.

Anyways at some point Juno buys Halloween costume angel wings for Peter to wear to their next stop on Brahma. He's still sleeping on the couch when they arrive. Rita asks Peter if he'll wear them with the halo she made and he can't fucking say no to her so he does, and now whenever they go to Brahma there are wings on the back of his outfit because Buddy does embroidery and is perfectly fine robbing the laundry basket.

The Jupeter wedding is hosted on Brahma, considered a wedding of their two major religious figures. It is lovely and epic. Vespa is basically the Brahmese Pope, which amuses her greatly. Please picture the Kanagawas/Valles Vicky/Alessandra Strong/Mick/Sasha reading the newspaper, oh Brahma's Angel and Saintess got married, huh- and then immediately spit out their coffee becuase IS THAT JUNO FUCKING STEEL. (Mick moves to Brahma and within the week he's everyone's favorite Solar boy who doesn't have a normal braincell in his skull. He starts designing churches for the cult. The worst part is that he's actually pretty good at it, so Juno just has to let him draw mosaics and frescoes and stained glass windows of him and Nureyev).

It is only after all of this that Buddy and Vespa find out about Peter’s face tattoos and the RPF folder. Vespa gleefully adds the RPF about the Carte Blanche crew to the mythology of the Angel and credits Peter in her sermon. He watches it from the living room of Chateau Blanche (the little secret port/fortress they park the Carte Blanche at when they stop by Brahma) and Juno snickers while Peter just buries his face in his hands and gives up. He's still in that position on the couch when Vespa comes home.

[lenorethequietbookkeeper]

(Screencapping the og post cause it's pretty long)

Ok so this is something I've wanted to do with my own old fucks, but I didn't know exactly how I wanted of go about doing it!!! Until my mate @prettyputrified sent in the ask that gave me an idea; polyvores!! So anyway, I made some more "What's in [x character]'s bag" type posts as a response to this!

(Shout-out to @/cuuno for the og concept btw! Png credit will be in reblogs)

(Read tws in tags before proceeding)

-----

Sylvain's Bag

Work Bag: The plain black bag Sylvain takes with him when he goes on jobs. It contains only what he needs, which are usually no more than his weapon of choice and his collection of burner phones. Oh, and a pack of cigarettes. Murder is pretty stressful after all.

Casual Bag: Sylvain's own personal purse and wallet. Despite his rough and violent demeanor, he loves self expression and indulging in the emo/pastel goth aesthetic.

- Pocket 1: Self defense pocket. The streets of Pythonel are a dangerous place, so Sylvain makes sure not to leave the house without a gun and/or knife. The weed is purely for sale by the way, not edglord enough I guess.

- Pocket 2: Self care pocket. Contains his own personal phone, which he decorates in cool stickers he finds while out and about. Also makeup and protection, in case he wants to doll up for someone he fancies.

-----

Aldin's Bag

Shopping Bag: Aldin just uses the same plastic shopping bag he got ten years ago to carry everything. Usually has empty cans and drug garbage in there with everything else. Phone is busted to hell, but you know Aldin's broke ass can't replace it. Get your shit together man what is this???

-----

Jeagar's Bag

Bag: Ann made it (and basically all his clothes) for him. She tries to include stuff she knows Jeagar likes on it. He never says it aloud, but his old ass appreciates it. Always has bugs inside it that he finds in dire circumstances.

- Pocket 1: Used to store weapons and cigarettes. Usually alternates between his collection of fancy weaponry when he goes out. Matchboxes are from Ann's thrift shopping. Never buys any of his cigarettes, instead he digs up used ones from the dump.

- Pocket 2: Leisure pocket. Contains whatever books he's reading at the moment. Carries around his favorite songs on cassette tapes because the radio people have bad taste. Phone is an old ass brick phone he's had for the last 20 years. How does that thing still work??

- Pocket 3: Emergency pocket. Always has at least one Molotov cocktail in his bag. Just in case.

-----

John's Bag

Backpack: Simple brown backpack John brings when he goes on trips. Has his keys and pins that he finds funny. Tomagachi is a gift from Ferris for when he's stressed out.

- Front Pocket: Sketch pocket. Has all his little sketchbooks and pencils for when he's bored. Also draws on pieces of loose paper like receipts and used envelopes.

- Inside (smaller part): Comfort pocket. Has porn and alcohol in it all the time, always. Keeps more hardcore drugs in a vintage tin case. Please don't ask about the wedding ring.

- Inside (larger part): All the random shit he's stolen. Purely does it to satiate his "tendencies", as he calls it. Usually takes valuables or vintage items, but will nab literally anything if need be.

-----

Charles' Bag

Backpack: Old backpack Charles covered in cool stickers and patches. Loves creepy stuff and clutter, which shows in how he decorates most of his belongings. Negative space who?

- Front Pocket: Fun shit pocket. Ready access to drugs, money, music, and most importantly, video games. Phone is some dinky bullshit covered in stickers. Actually has to replace it semi-regularly due to being a temperamental little bitch that destroys shit.

- Main Pocket: "Important" storage pocket. Where he puts his bong when he goes out to a buddy's. Pretty much always has a shitload of random snacks. Always contains at least two guns no matter what.

-----

Ferris' Bag

Handbag: Bag Ferris stole from a thrift store and covered in patches and pins. Decorates the same way Charles does, but has more vintage and kidcore-esc tastes. Oh and also sexy ladies.

- Pocket 1: Storage pocket. Always has drugs on him, either to sell or use. Keeps his wallet in there for business purposes. Mainly has weed, but will also carry other stuff too.

- Pocket 2: Fun pocket. Books and video games for when he's bored. A rough draft of whatever gross fic he's working on in case inspiration strikes him. Weapons used to make potential inspo. A camera to capture said inspo. Phone is nothing special, just a sticker-covered little flip phone he actually takes decent care of.

- Lunchbox: Usually carries this along with his bag. Keeps the bigger snacks and drinks he can't stick in his bag. Organization is important after all!

-----

Daniel's Bag

Handbag: Alternates between one of his many vintage-looking, designer handbags. Loves excessive gold and jewels in his accessories. Minimalism is so overrated. Daniel's cutesy pink and white flip phone is hardly anything special on the surface. Gets a bit strange when you realize it's the only bit of modern tech in Goldberg. Weird...

- Help Pocket: :)

[silly-jellyghoty]

I can totally imagine one of kids (probably Lucas while chatting with Mike) accidentally muttering something compromiting within Eddie's earshot, and Dustin being the smart guy he is, totally saves it by saying it's from a campaign he DMs. When Eddie asks what it is about, Dustin answers, that he was inspired to create a homebrew world after one class with their science teacher explained to class the concept of the multiverse and alternative dimensions. He also says, that since Steve is his babysitter and he has to sit through it all, eventually joined the party as well, along with Max, Erica, and Robin, with Nancy and Jonathan making a little guest appearance every now and then. (He did this to ensure that should anyone say anything stupid again, he covered all bases)

After that, he would talk with Eddie about how he reflavoured spells into guns and molotov's cocktails, how they have technically a flying carpet but it's really Steve's car, how Steve's nail bat actually has great sword stats, how demogorgon is a demogorgon but demodogs are reskinned wolves and demobats are giant eagles, and vines and particles are really just layer effects and difficult terrain.

Eddie totally eats it up, congratulating him for making a smart move of using the actual Hawkings as the setting, because that way everyone can imagine how the battle map looks like, then he turns the conversation into a pissing contest between Hellfire and Basketball tables.

Dustin was totally sweating the whole time, but he succesfully bullshited his way through, and while Eddie is distracted by hollering random insults at Jason, Lucas pats Dustin on the shoulder and whispers "thanks for that save, man".

What if Dustin told Eddie all about the Upside Down but said that it was a D&D campaign? He used it as an excuse to go on about Steve and all he's done to help out. And at first, Eddie doesn't believe him because no way would Steve Harrington play D&D with his sheep. But Dustin insists. He goes off about Steves bat and how he tried to sacrifice himself to save him and Erica...

and can you imagine the horror Eddie would feel when he realizes that it wasn't a campaign, that stuff actually happened. Can you imagine his horror when he realizes just how much shit Steve went through to keep the kids safe?

[mxbitters]

when you’re doing your cyberpunk thing and you see a hot intimidating punk guy and youre like well fuck now i gotta find a way to make my character hate him so we can push those emotions out of the way and your gm (conveniently also your best friend) decides to have the guy come over to your gay ass and suddenly oh by the way we know each other, were part of some weird johnny silverhand centered anarcho-punk gang (i mean vibes) but also hey guess what my character also apparently has some really weird commitment issues surrounding getting a cybernetic arm like literally everyone else and also they just have this quite fascinating dynamic that’s like confusing but in a hold on a second is this man a comrade or a lover or......perhaps...........both

[witchofthesouls]

More messing around with @rocksinmuffin’s Megahusband AU (seriously check it out):

You don’t know what happened; actually, you do. It was the usual Decepticon plan-of-the-week but it featured a patented Wheeljack-what-the-frag-is-that invention.

Of course, it ended up on fire because why not?! But between Starscream’s stray null-ray shot, the Constructicon’s random mixes, and the Sideswipe’s updated molotov cocktail, the last thing you remember was a beam of bright, Barbie pink hitting you so hard to fly off the table and right into Lalaland via concussion.

Wheeljack had managed to squirrel you away upon the Autobots’ retreat and you woke up to a new reality of being absolutely Tall and Metal.

You’ve been secluded inside the Autobot medbay getting prodded, poked, and scanned every inch of your new body.

You should have far more panic but a good chunk of your adult life has been composed of absolutely random events fit for a protagonist of a reverse isekai, scifi anime. Or maybe an action-comedy since you originally dated Megatron to gain an upper-hand for the Autobots, and married him out of absolute spite to ruin that smug look on his face when he proposed through the Jumbotron at the game.

Speaking of the devil, you and everyone else in a 50-mile radius can hear Megatron bellowing outside the thick, protective walls.

“We could use the fire hose.” Ironhide says, far too casual in that way where someone really wants to do it but just waiting for another person to vaguely agree to go ham on it.

“No. I got it.”

“Are you sure, Y/N? You could take a few more days off to get used to it.”

“I got the anti-gravs and the shrinking down pat down. Might as well get it over with.”

_________________

Starscream listens to his Trine-mates bicker with the rest of the Armada, scrapping like a few of the groundpounders. All of them bored and cowed by Megatron’s shortfuse as their glorious leader keeps howling your name.

Staracream can only admire all of those spiteful acts of pettiness that cumulatived into a sham marriage between you and Megatron. And after years and years of domestic, married life, the active warfare turning cold, and this farce of a semi-functioning family, Starscream could say that Megatron had developed a begrudging sense of affection towards you. Or at least some sort of feeling to trigger his posessiveness. 

Enough for the warlord to keep you on his shoulder whenever you’re at the base and actually recharge at that tiny dwelling where he needs to shift a ridiculous amount of mass into his subspace to fit through the door instead of his berth on base.

(During one of his snooping raids, Starscream had found a sparkling dollhouse, outfitted with the amenities for a human to stay as well as a bust of your scowling face.)

Unsurprisingly, a chunk of the Decepticon forces are outside the Ark as you haven’t left the orange monstrosity for a week and the Autobots stopped picking up their transmissions.

Finally, there’s movement. But it’s no human strolling out of the open hatch, it’s a new Cybertronian. One with a familiar walk and familiar expression of exasperation and they call out:

“Morning, my Titan sweetcheeks!”

It’s definitely you, and you’re annoyed.

Megatron’s sputtering, voice trailing off as you step in front in him, rivaling his height as a Seeker femme. All the mechs around stare unabashedly at your new frame. Games stop. Brawls still. His Trine-mates fall silent.

Everything. From digits to pedes to broad wings, all the armor and peeking protoform are a solid shade of Decepticon logo purple. The only exception is your newfound optics: a bright, searing shade of fuchsia. 

“Pits, Screamer,” Skywarp’s poor attempt of a whisper echoes out. “Your step-creator’s slaggen hawt!”

Skywarp’s squeak of terror from the simultaneous hums of his null-ray and a fusion canon is music to his audials.

[izusun]

Goblin anon here absolutely screeching over feral quirkless Midoriya, it's everything I wanted

I would like to also introduce a brand (my brand) of feral to Midoriya: pyromaniac.

Imagine Midoriya getting through the entrance exam by saving people, but also by bringing makeshift Molotov cocktails and wrecking almost as much shop as Bakugou.

Imagine the battle trials where Bakugou tries to blow up the building because "that's the only way to keep this little shit down" and in response Midoriya dodges and then sets the building on fire.

Imagine the USJ incident, which goes about the same, but his first instinct is to set the Noumu on fire. Yes he does so. He also nearly sets the stadium on fire at the sports festival so much that they had to evacuate sections of the stadium.

Midoriya (say it with me now) sets Stain on fire. When Tsukauchi meets with the murder trio after the Hosu incident, he just sighs and is like "Midoriya, really?" And this is when we learn that Midoriya has a history of coming across random villains and setting them on fire. When Inko arrives to pick him up she's just like "You're grounded."

There's theories about what Midoriya's quirk, everything from increased intelligence to extremely shitty luck to the ability to make anything he touches explodes (due to his inane ability to make a bomb/lighter out of the most insane things). When it comes out that he's quirkless, it just makes everyone even more afraid, as Midoriya can make a bomb out of some LSD and a rubber duck quirkless-

Pyromaniac quirkless Midoriya.

- Goblin anon

GOBLIN ANON IT’S BEEN AGES IM SORRY IM JUST RESPONDING NOW (ive been so bad at responding asks my god i struggle but thank u for ur au dumps, i love loVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!)

IM IN LOVE WITH THIS AU

feral quirkless gremlin midoriya going through shit by setting things on fire is just the way to go im duwldjwksk

i read midoriya with molotov cocktails and i have not stopped simping for and thinking about this midoriya

genuinely swooning at this ver of him

midoriya probably has a collection of lighters and basically does those hand tricks to calm him down or to take his mind off of things

bakugou and midoriya being more familiar with each other in their middle school days compared to canon and bakugou gifting midoriya with personalized all might lighter god that’s adorable

ok but they’re talking about their favourite heroes and bakugou goes, “shocking that you don’t like endeavour.”

and midoriya just shrugs, twisting his hand and fingers to orchestrate the fire’s dance from his lighter, his viridian eyes brighter and says, “his fire feels wrong.” and they leave it at that

midoriya being inspired by bakugou’s explosions and attempting to copy those so bad that bakugou thought midoriya’s trying out for support classes

OK BUT FIGHT WITH SLUDGE VILLAIN?

he yanks out makeshift molotov cocktails from his bag, lights them up and throws them at the bastard. the sludge villain screams and retreats slightly because not only was he facing the fires but also the exploded glass shards. it gave enough time for bakugou to explode the villain and escape enough to allow him to breathe. in the end, all might still defeats the sludge but he misses bakugou and midoriya who escaped. no ofa for firey green bean.

bakugou helping midoriya create more explosions.

“but kacchba i want fire, not explosions!”

“same difference you pyro asshole!”

midoriya learns them anyways and enjoys it.

THE EXAM!!

i have two ways:

one: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed support items and they allowed him and they watched in shock as this little boy explodes the arena worse than the explosion-quirked student. of course he passes and aizawa took him on as his student.

two: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed his support items but the staff did NOT allow him because they’re considered weapons (as if quirks are not genetic weapons but i DIGRESS) and so when the exam starts, he stays at the very back of the other examinees. this was so that when he arrives at the scene, there are already spare parts for him to scavenge so that he can build makeshift explosions (foregoing whatever shit he learned from katsuki because all that’s on his mind right now are molotov cocktails)

so that’s what happens. he scavenges parts and hides inside one of the buildings so that he can focus more on making explosions and be less worried about being attacked. when he was fully geared, he steps out and begins to retaliate.

he works fast as to not waste his time and the makeshift explosions. because of this, others (ahem-aoyama-ahem) had no opportunity to steal his score.

same thing happens: uraraka gets caught and midoriya explodes the zero pointer. this time, however, the robot is utterly destroyed.

aizawa and majima saw midoriya’s performance, adored it, and began fighting for midoriya.

“majima, he’s here for the hero classes.”

“great. now give him to me.”

nezu pretends that he’s not planning on splitting midoriya’s schedule anyways.

BATTLE TRIAL OH MY GOD rip all might i bet you keeled over so bad, you were one second from turning to small might there and then.

all might: ok so one explodey kid to look out for. that’s not bad.

all might, one minute later: this green kid looks familiar…

all might, ten minutes later: what the fuck.

NO BECAUSE bakugou and midoriya being excited to explode things (well, more like midoriya’s excited and bakugou just wants to fight midoriya) and having a blast when fighting each other.

1a’s probably thinking “oh no” followed by “they’re hot” (literally too because yk the building’s on fire.)

MIDORIYA EXPLODING THE NOUMU??? king shit

midoriya saw this monster running to aizawa and he just points a more eloquent looking flame thrower (thank u mei for working with midoriya with that) at this beast and sets it on fire.

it effectively slowed the noumu and gave the others an opportunity to pull aizawa from the hit zone. it also granted all might more freedom when fighting the noumu because it was slowed enough that all might didn’t have to worry about exceeding his time limit.

the fire damaged some of its nerve processes that the scientist and afo had not accounted for. of course this review is returned to them and many of the noumus become fireproof because of this incident.

OK BUT DURING THE SPORTS FEST

midoriya crushing on todoroki because fire.

he was actually very interested in todoroki prior to sports fest but something about todoroki’s fight against sero sparked something more in midoriya. midoriya saw the anger from his ice, now he wants to see the same intensity from his fire.

his spiel of “that’s your power, todoroki” goes differently. todoroki still pulls him aside and trauma dumps on him but this time he goes, without missing a beat, “that fire is a waste on you.”

todoroki full body pauses because that’s not something he’s ever, well, considered to hear after trauma dumping.

“what?” he croaks, confused at the bubbling feeling. it’s a miasma of anger and hurt, but to a scale so unfamiliar.

midoriya shrugs. “fire is unique, more so as an elemental quirk. you think it doesn’t make half of you—well, i mean you’re right. it doesn’t. you make it. you control it. fire is often uncontrollable and yet here you are, having it as your power. it’s yours to control, so control it. use it.”

todoroki’s ears are ringing.

“you have it as your power.”

“so control it.”

and so he did.

midoriya watched todoki’s fire; watched the way the flames lick up up up and leaves no air bathed in heat. midoriya sees the rawness of anger and determination and thinks, “this is how fire should always look like.”

unconsciously he also thinks how todoroki’s fire is far more beautiful than endeavour’s.

midoriya loses and he’s not as sad about it. losing to something sentient (fire, not todoroki), for him, is a blessing.

todoroki advances along with bakugou.

bakugou who is jealous of todoroki because he saw how midoriya eyed todoroki’s fire and knew todoroki’s a competition in other more ways.

bakugou wins again, this time less angry because todoroki used his fire against him.

STAIN THINKING MIDORIYA’S JUST THIS WEIRD HERO STUDENT WHO HAS NO SPECIFIC QUIRK UNTIL HE FEELS FLAME KISS HIS SKIN AND SCREAMS BECAUSE DAMN IT GREEN EYED KID JUST SET HIM ON FIRE

todoroki full on pausing because he thought he’s the one who set stain on fire unconsciously only to follow the fire’s trail and sees it’s from one of midoriya’s many support items.

“shoot i didn’t mean to burn him that fast!”

“that’s your issue!?”

midoriya gives them a “duh?” look and todoroki feels himself warming up (HAH another fire pun) at midoriya’s ease.

flying noumi still comes and picks him up but midoriya also sets this thing on fire. the difference between a winged noumu and a normal noumu is that the wings are far more flammable and midoriya had quite a bit of fun at setting it on fire and hearing the crackling of flames on rubbery wings.

endeavour casts him a glance that speaks of approval and midoriya doesn’t know if he hates it or not.

tsukauchi arrives and sees not only stain, but the noumu and heaves up a very big sigh. “midoriya, really?”

GOBLIN! PYROMANIAC QUIRKLESS MIDORIYA IZUKU IS A FAVE IM SCREAMING

[weresilver]

Ghost That We Know

AN: So, I had a random thought two days ago which spawned a whole ass scene in my head. So here is said scene. This is 994 words of something, don't ask me, I'm not sure either. I make no promises on follow-ups to this, but I have ~thoughts~. This is not a Halloween ficlet, btw, just good ol' canon compliance :) Title after Mumford & Sons of all things.

My first Stranger Things fic/ficlet!

——

It was a fucking nightmare. It took months for the monsters to start coming through the gate, but now there were just too damn many, which is truly not the way Robin expected to go, but it seems her life changed course back in '85 when—

Well, that didn't really matter now, what mattered were the Molotov cocktails she kept having to carry despite already tripping on the uneven asphalt twice.

At least Vickie agreed to stay with the kids...

"You guys there yet?" Dustin questioned through the walkie. At least he didn't sound as exasperated as Mike. "The radio has been silent for a while."

"Great," Steve muttered, holding the axe that Hopper had given him before they split with a white-knuckled grip.

"We're almost there," Nancy replied, walkie in one hand, shotgun in the other. "We'll probably be radio silent for a while too. We'll let you guys know when we're done."

With Will's shout to be careful, the three reached their destination: a smaller, already-closing gate. That meant whatever monster had been waiting was already through. Why the fuck didn't they use the big, seemingly permanent gates? It didn't make sense to Robin.

The area surrounding it was charred, but there were no vines. There was also no one and no sound other than the trio's own breathing and steps.

Nancy held the shotgun at the ready, and Steve handed Robin his lighter, on top of the other two she was given by Hopper and Dmitri plus the one she'd gotten for herself.

She didn't think she would go through four lighters for this, but she was glad to have them all when the first demodog came running around the corner, mouth already covered in blood.

The monster seemed to freeze for a moment before screeching and lunging at them. It was bigger than the last few they'd seen, probably close to being a proper demogorgon.

Nancy's shot pushed it back, but they'd already lost whatever element of surprise they had; other monsters wailed in reaction to the shot, the noise surrounding them.

Robin took one of the bottles in hand, the lighter mostly ready. It took, maybe, just a handful of seconds for the whole lot of Upside-Down creatures to come running from wherever the hell they'd been hiding — everywhere, really.

She lit the cloth up and tossed the first cocktail.

And It was chaos after that; the blast of Nancy's shotgun, Steve's grunts as he swung the axe at whatever didn't fall to fire and lead, the sound of glass breaking and fire igniting as Robin kept throwing the bottles.

"How many of these fuckers came through?!" Steve shouted over the squelch of hitting another demogorgon. The curse that Steve surely let out was covered by the shotgun as Nancy shot another demodog.

"Hey, guys," Robin called out, looking into the bag she had over her shoulder. "I only got two left, so you better hope this is it!"

Steve turned to face her, mouth open to say something, but the sound of breaking glass and the blur of something slamming onto him stopped him short. So much for that being it.

Nancy took a shot at the demogorgon on top of Steve, making it snarl at her, and Robin tossed her second-to-last molotov cocktail at the monster. It staggered off of him, growling, but once again it launched itself at them.

Robin quickly stepped back, just enough space between her and the demogorgon for Nancy to shoot and for a line of fire to appear between them.

She turned to the window the monster had come from, where the fire was also coming from, but the figure standing there was hard to make out.

"Keep shooting!" The man shouted, gesturing wildly toward Nancy. Something about the voice was vaguely familiar to Robin, but the creature's wail after being shot kept her from dwelling on it.

Jesus christ, this one was resilient.

Steve stood up, axe in hand once again, and he swung hard at its neck. With another wail, the monster swiped an arm at Steve, who barely avoided the claws of the still burning monster.

The man cursed loudly and creatively, dropping the flamethrower before running up to the demogorgon and reaching to take the axe in a gloved hand. He swung in the opposite direction, hitting the other side of its neck, and—

Thump.

In the ensuing, deafening silence, Robin and Nancy looked around, expecting something else to jump at them just like this one bastard of a demogorgon had. But it remained silent.

The man stared down at the monster head he'd just chopped off, and Steve stared at him, just a few feet to the side. Everyone just breathed for a moment, the remaining adrenaline fading from their systems.

"Jesus," the man chuckled, breathless, as he shook his head. Robin definitely recognized that voice now. "God, that felt good."

Now that she could actually take a look at him, she could see he was wearing all black; black jeans, black jacket, shoes, everything. He had a bandana covering most of his face, and... swimming goggles protecting his eyes, maybe. She thought it was kind of ridiculous, but it seemed effective against the Upside-Down gunk that the big gates were throwing out.

"You guys okay?" He asked, looking at each of them in turns and pausing at Nancy's still-held-high shotgun. "I promise you won't have to shoot me, Wheeler."

"Eddie?" Steve was the first to snap out of the post-adrenaline haze. He didn't take his eyes off of the man. "What the fuck?"

The man took off the bandana and goggles, and yep, that was Eddie fucking Munson, alright. His hair was shorter, there was a scar poking out from the left side of his jaw, and that excited grin looked a little feral, in Robin's opinion. But there was no mistaking it.

"Did you miss me, big boy?"

Eddie Munson was alive.

——

@benjaminrussell @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @evan-bumpkin-buckley @dijkstraspath @werelamburrito @swiftiebuckleys

[whatwouldmickeydo]

Random thoughts during my rewatch of BTVS season 2 that no one asked for:

-Head empty no thoughts just SPIKE 😍

- Did… did Xander kill kids on Halloween?

- Who built Ted?

- Also John Ritter as Ted is SO good at being a robot

- Cowboy vampires? Yes please 🤠

- Why did Kendra’s whole VILLAGE know about the calling but Buffy has no idea lol

- Did Angel just not have sex for like a hundred years? Did he masturbate?

- “Oz is a senior he’s too old for me.” “You think he’s too old? Please, my boyfriend had a bicentennial.” Ok but you realize that’s not a standard by which to date people right? Right?

- Angelus is the most evil, homicidal maniac I’ve ever seen and it makes for SUCH good television

- Subsequently, the aftermath of him losing his soul and the impact on Buffy is one of the most heartbreaking things to watch - like can you imagine being 17 and madly in love only for that person to revert into one of the most ruthless killers on the planet? Yikes 😬

- Xander is the worst 🙃

- Buffy in that tiny little trench coat tho 🥵🥵🥵🥵

- Giles and Buffy crying over Jennys death OOOFFFFF my whole heart breaks in two 💔

- Buffy faking sick to stay in the hospital another night, nice to know Joyce seemingly doesn’t have to worry about astronomical hospital bills

- I Only Have Eyes For You aka an episode with 8 billion warning flags on it 🚩🚩🚩🚩

- Did Willow get paid to basically be the computer teacher?

- Shane West was on Buffy??

- Wentworth Miller??

- That swim team coach may be the most vile teacher Sunnydale has ever had 🤢 “You’re just gonna feed me to ‘em?” “Oh they’ve already had their dinner. But boys have other needs 😏.” What the hell?!!

- Oz is nonbinary and I refuse to take comments on this

- Angel’s Irish accent is so horrible good lord lol

- Also, Angel and his little gang legit hang out in ONE location, why is Buffy not just throwing Molotov cocktails down there during the day until they’re forced to leave

- Drusilla’s backstory and descent into madness is one of the saddest things ever and I too would want to give her the world, Spike is very valid

- Ms Calendars lost files being on a floppy disk, do the kids even know what those are anymore

- Not me agreeing with Xander - Buffy DOES only want to give Angel his soul back so she can have her boyfriend again

- Buffy’s ‘I’m evading the cops’ outfit consists solely of a black ski hat and I love it

- Spike beating up a cop, mommy like 🥵

- Two people who are allowed to smoke because I said so and because they look hot doing so: Spike and Mickey Milkovich

- Spike and Angel have definitely fucked at some point

[mojave-pete]

Not one person has been charged with possessing or using a gun inside the Capitol. Further, no one even has been identified as carrying a gun inside the building.

Since the Justice Department launched its nationwide manhunt to track down and arrest anyone involved with the Capitol breach on January 6, hundreds of perpetrators have been arrested.

Most face misdemeanor charges for trespassing or disorderly conduct, but dozens are in jail and denied bond for the thoughtcrime of believing the 2020 presidential election wasn’t on the up-and-up. The acting U.S. attorney general overseeing the investigation promises to apprehend hundreds more, however, it’s been two weeks since authorities have arrested anyone in connection to the probe.

Almost as embarrassing as the bad behavior of a handful of Trump supporters that day is the conduct of the national news media and Washington lawmakers. The country has been subjected to a public group therapy session of sorts wherein grown adults—Republicans and Democrats alike, elected to defend the country at all costs—now recount their harrowing experiences on January 6, which include running away from no one in particular or insisting, without evidence, that they were on the verge of being “murdered.”

The media continue to promote any number of fabricated storylines intended to bolster the laughable narrative of an “insurrection” occurring at the Capitol. The concocted account of the death of Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick recently fell apart; the New York Times, after pressure from outlets including American Greatness, effectively retracted its January 8 article claiming Sicknick was killed by a fire extinguisher at the hands of Trump “loyalists.”

So now it’s time to straighten out another twisted tale animating the folklore of January 6: The idea the random chaos amounted to an “armed insurrection.” Hundreds of crazed Trumpists carrying deadly weapons, the public believes, stormed the Capitol to injure or kill senators, representatives, and even Vice President Mike Pence in order to avenge a “stolen” election.

Most news outlets—as they did with the coverage of Sicknick’s death—unflinchingly repeat the “armed insurrection” trope, which can be traced back to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s January 7 press conference. “[Y[esterday, the President of the United States incited an armed insurrection against America, the gleeful desecration of the US Capitol…and the violence targeting Congress are horrors that will forever stay in our nation’s history,” Pelosi ranted.

But like everything else that exits the mouth of the Speaker of the House, her description isn’t only flat wrong but also manufactured for wicked political purposes.

When a thinking person hears the word “armed,” he usually thinks of a firearm, or a gun. Yet here is how the Justice Department describes the trove of deadly weapons seen at the Capitol that day: “During the course of the violent protests, several violent protestors were armed with weapons including bats, pepper spray, sticks, zip ties, as well as bulletproof vests and anti-tear gas masks.” (The zip ties, it’s important to note, weren’t brought into the building by Trumpists but by law enforcement officials.)

I reviewed the charges filed against the more than 200 people arrested for criminal misconduct related to January 6 and found only 14 defendants face any sort of weapons charge. Offenses vary; indictments range from possession of a “deadly” weapon on “restricted�� grounds to assaulting a police officer.

But so far, just two people have been charged with unlawful possession of a firearm—and there’s no proof either man “breached” the Capitol let alone threatened lawmakers as part of a coordinated, armed insurrection.

Lonnie Coffman, 70, was indicted by a D.C. grand jury on January 11 with 17 firearms violations. Around 1 p.m. on January 6, Capitol Police, according to charging documents, noticed what appeared to be a gun on the front seat of a pickup truck parked near the Capitol. Cops searched the vehicle and found a handgun, a rifle, loaded magazines, and mason jars filled with material they believed were components to make Molotov cocktails. When Coffman arrived near his vehicle at around 6:30 p.m., he was questioned by police; they discovered two small handguns in his pockets.

Federal authorities threw the book at Coffman, a veteran with no criminal record.

But although he’s been charged with more than a dozen violations of D.C.’s strict gun possession laws, Coffman has not been charged with using his guns, ammunition, or the alleged Molotov cocktails. Further, it’s worth noting that aside from the two pistols found on his person, the other contraband was locked in his truck as the “insurrection” occurred.

The FBI isn’t finished with Coffman yet; agents raided his remote Alabama home on January 26. He’s currently being held in a D.C. jail without bail.

Christopher Alberts was arrested near the Capitol the evening of January 6 after police found a 9 mm handgun and ammunition in his possession. The Maryland resident has been charged with one count of unlawful possession of a firearm on Capitol grounds or building, one count of carrying a pistol without a license, one count of possession of ammunition, and one count of trespassing.

Again, although Alberts was detained near the Capitol, prosecutors do not allege he entered the building or attempted to use his weapon on January 6.

Here is a roundup of the non-firearm “dangerous and deadly” weapons charges:

Zachary Alam, nicknamed “Helmet Boy,” is charged with assaulting an officer with a deadly weapon although it’s unclear if the weapon used was the helmet he found on the ground or his body. (Documents allege Alam “pushed his body up against one of the Capitol Police officers guarding the door.”) Alam was near Ashli Babbitt when she was shot and killed by a still-unidentified police officer.

Richard Barnett, the man pictured behind Pelosi’s desk, faces two charges of unlawfully possessing a “dangerous or deadly weapon,” which, according to prosecutors, was a “ZAP Hike N Strike 950,000 Volt Stun Gun Walking Stick” he carried with him on January 6. He did not use it.

Scott Fairlamb faces a 12-count indictment including assaulting an officer and “entering and remaining in a restricted building or grounds with a deadly or dangerous weapon.” Fairlamb had a small collapsible baton; it’s unclear whether he entered the Capitol at any time.

Robert Gieswien, found with a baseball bat and pepper spray, is charged with “assaulting, resisting, or impeding certain officers using a dangerous weapon.”

Alex Harkrider and Ryan Nichols are being charged together; they face 13 counts, including four related to possession or use of “deadly or dangerous” weapons. Nichols is accused of using pepper spray on an officer—he allegedly sprayed the irritant on a crowd which included officers attempting to secure the building—and carrying a crowbar into the Capitol. Harkrider is charged with illegally possessing an axe on government property. Investigators gleaned most of their evidence from posts on the defendants’ social media accounts.

Emanuel Jackson is charged with striking police officers outside the Capitol with a baseball bat.

Edward Lamb, according to charging documents, “swung, thrusted, and/or jabbed the [baseball] bat at law enforcement officers multiple times” outside the Capitol. He faces 11 counts including three related to use of a deadly weapon.

Patrick McCaughey was directly behind Officer Daniel Hodges when he was crushed in a doorway by the mob. McCaughey faces three weapon-related charges; the weapon was a police riot shield he found on the scene.

Matthew Miller is charged with using a deadly weapon—a fire extinguisher—outside the Capitol. Miller allegedly sprayed the contents toward officers.

Jordan Mink is accused of using a “deadly weapon,” a baseball bat, on “unrestricted” grounds. (Mink is photographed smashing in a window.) In denying bond, a federal magistrate stated that January 6 was “a horrendous crime against our democracy that Mr. Mink not only participated in, but was a very active and violent participant.”

Robert Sanford, initially believed to be the suspect who injured Sicknick, is charged with throwing a fire extinguisher and striking three officers. (Investigators said the object “appeared” to be a fire extinguisher.) The retired Pennsylvania fireman also is being held without bond.

So, as Joe Biden likes to say, let’s be clear: Not one person has been charged with possessing or using a gun inside the Capitol. Further, no one has been identified as carrying a gun inside the building. Of the hundreds of photographs posted on the FBIs Most Wanted List for the Capitol breach investigation, not a single picture shows anyone with a firearm.

Only one defendant had a handgun on his person outside the building hours after the “insurrection” ended. The other defendant had two guns on his person but investigators don’t allege he was inside the Capitol on January 6.

At least 100,000 attended Trump’s speech that day; fewer than 1,000 “stormed” the Capitol. A few hundred have been arrested and only 14 face weapons charges. Those “deadly and dangerous” weapons include two baseball bats, a can of pepper spray, a walking stick/stun gun, an axe, a few fire extinguishers (one in question), a helmet, a riot shield, and a collapsible baton. And at no time did this random weaponry pose a lethal threat to lawmakers inside the Capitol.

Do the idiots who used any sort of weapon to harm an officer or damage property deserve to pay for their stupid and violent actions? Yes.

Was January 6, 2021 an “armed insurrection” or anything close?

No.

Another hoax is being built to take out Trump voters!

[gcnedark]

@alex-the-huntress212 @aaaaagaronia @mixedmediahmm @chaoscryptid-inc @gaysonlyocean hey guys :]

A Christmas with Abstrakt would include-

Dudes very festive, so every fucking inch of wherever you are is decorated in someway, and he is keeping a Santa hat on the entire day, he refuses to take it off.

Not leaving your side, its Christmas, and he wants to spend it with you!

Abstrakt is more than certainly going to play festive music throughout the day.

This day truly does hold a very good place in his heart, and if you don't think of it the same- you won't after spending one with him. At least, he hopes so.

Hes going to try to cook you something, keyword being TRY. Hes probably gonna burn his hands if he does.

Abstrakts gifts wouldn't be huge or extravagant, but he would try to make it perfect for whoever its being given to. He is going to be very nervous of getting the wrong thing, however.

Caleb! :]

Quite frankly, Caleb doesn't care much for Christmas. He acknowledges that it exists, but it simply doesn't interest him much. He never really celebrated it as a kid, and thats followed him into adulthood.

Of course he enjoys the lights and gifts, but not much else. He'll help decorate, he'll get people gifts but, he doesn't put too much effort into it.

You're gonna have to essentially drag him into doing more shit, of course he's not gonna be jumping for joy at it, but hey. Why not? Not like it can do much harm.

He does only enjoy Christmas if its with someone he really does care about, but don't expect him to get into that real festive mood. Its just not what he does.

Axel :]

Finally, a day where he doesn't commit mass genocide.. only arson. And you're riding with him as he does so.

He likes Christmas! The atmosphere is soothing to him, but hes also himself. So he's gonna drive around and huck molotov cocktails out of window while screaming "MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!"

After arson is over, your present is probably going to be a weapon of some kind. It'll vary depending on who you are, but still, a weapon.

Very, very affectionate. Probably hanging an arm around your shoulder the whole day, if you push him away hes gonna act like a dog who just got kicked.

Fucking hates Christmas music though, dont play it or whatever its playing from is getting shot. Unless you ask nicely.

Wolf :]

It's been so long since hes celebrated Christmas, hes honestly forgotten how it goes. But if its with you, its fine. Having you there is enough to make the day a good day.

Wolf really just follows along with whatever you're doing for the day, if you ask him what he plans on doing, you're simply getting a shrug in response.

"What, do you not know what to do?" Beat. "...uhh, am I supposed to?"

With his memory still being somewhat hazy, he can't remember the good memories he has from Christmas with his family. So he's gonna try to make new ones here, but again. No clue how to.

He probably forgot hes supposed to get a gift for you and then starts apologizing profusely when he's reminded.

"Fuck- fuck! I'm so sorry, hon. I- damnit, I didn't remember! Fuck!"

Vulture :]

Fucking loves Christmas but refuses to show it, but inside hes like a little kid with the shit.

"Aren't you excited, Vulture? Its Christmas!" "...am I supposed to be excited?"

The one (1) day hes going to take off his mask, but only for you. If anyone else shows up he's putting it back on and if you say a word about it he's leaving.

Definitely gonna set up a mistletoe above the bed, so when you wake up the first thing he says is "ohhh nooo, looks like we're under the mistletoe, sugar ;)"

Yes, you're allowed to punch him for that.

Jack :]

He truly doesn't give a shit whats happening that day, he's ignoring it to spend Christmas with you.

Hes one of the people who really doesn't care about gifts, you'll get a sweater, maybe a fuckin sword. With him its very random.

If you get him a gift though, hes going to insist you don't give it to him.

"Jack, take the gift." "No, just go take it back and get your money back, love." "Jack, TAKE THE GIFT."

Finally, a spouse who can cook. You're gonna have a good dinner if he's in the kitchen that night.

Christmas is neutral to him, hes not a big fan, but he doesn't dislike it.

Verge :]

Straight down the middle with Christmas, the only Christmas he remembers being a part of was with his platoon. Yeah, great Christmas, being in the middle of a gunfight.

He doesn't know what to really do for the holiday, so he's just standing around. He never grew up with it, its all very new to him. But, he could grow to like it very quickly. The lights, the music, the gifts. All of it would quickly make it his favorite holiday.

Gonna feel absolutely terrible if you get him something but he doesn't do the same for you, even though he genuinely never knew thats what you're supposed to do. It might not be his fault, but he'll certainly feel like it is.

If you ask nicely enough, he'll take off his mask and glasses for the day. Even if others come over, he'll just be extremely nervous about it.

Rusty :]

"ITS CHRISTMAS!!!"

Adores it, oh he fucking loves it so much! He's had things ready for weeks before this, and the day just fills him with such unmatched joy.

You're definitely going out with him to celebrate with others, just going through towns and "spreading some goddamn cheer! :D" as he says.

Gifts? Abundant. Affection? Given. Hotel? Trivago.

Refuses to drink during it, he wants to stay sober to remember the day. But as soon as the clock strikes midnight it only seems fair to him to start pounding liquor.

Fully decked out in the Santa Claus fit, except the beard.

[hewhofragments]

I live in a not so safe area, but my work is in an even more not so safe area.

This week, I went downstairs to chat on the phone with the boyfriend, and as soon as I opened the door I toppled over several bags of cans with the door and nearly ran into the homeless man standing right outside the door. I apologized but he didn't seem all there. . . Homeless tend not to be dangerous here (mostly) so all was fine.

The next day, I opened the door around the same time and ran straight into a shopping cart with a bunch of cans/other stuff in it. Mind you, this was the afternoon and none of it was there earlier in the day. So I stepped around the corner, and two large, wild dogs were chilling in the grass, and as soon as they saw me they started following me.

So I said NOPE, and I went back inside and just didn't call the boyfriend that day. None of this may sound particularly dangerous but. . . I've had my windshield shattered by a bullet, I've missed two drive-by shootings by a few minutes, I've had bullets fly into my office building, there's been armed robberies in broad daylight on multiple occasions at a convenience store across the street. . .

It just goes on and on. One dude attacked someone with a hammer at a sister location, another guy lobbed molotov cocktails through a window. . . Not to mention that of many shootings, one drive-by happened right next to my boyfriend's house just before I picked him up around midnight, and another happened about a block from my home during the day. . .

Not really going anywhere with all of this, just feel like complaining. I feel lucky that no one in my family has been the victim of random violence and we have enough to live on, and I feel sad that there's just so much fucking violence here. I wish we took care of our people instead of letting them eat each other alive.

[introvertguide]

Saving Private Ryan (1998); AFI #71

The next film on the list is one of the best films of any genre, Saving Private Ryan (1998). This is what I consider the best war film of all time despite how overwhelming it is to watch. Maybe it is because it is so difficult to watch, since the movie was nominated for 11 Academy Awards and received five trophies. Because of the ensemble cast and almost complete lack of women, the film was never going to garner much in the way of acting awards. Like the soldiers who they hoped to portray, these actors shouldn’t have expected much individual recognition. This movie affected me greatly, and I would like to delve into that after going through the story line.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!!! BECAUSE OF THE NATURE OF THE FILM, EVERYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE REVEALED AS FAR AS PLOT IS GIVEN AWAY BELOW!!! 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the present day, an elderly man visits the Normandy Cemetery with his family. At a tombstone, he falls to his knees in anguish. The establishing shots showing the mass of grave stones is overwhelming from the get-go. The movie transitions from the graveyard to a landing boat at the battle of Normandy. Be prepared because it is about to get rough.

On the morning of June 6, 1944, American soldiers land at Omaha Beach as part of the Normandy invasion. Everything goes bad immediately as machine guns and mortars literally tear the landing soldiers to shreds. Soldiers are screaming for their mothers as they die on the beach. There is no going back into the ocean so the soldiers have run into the machine gun fire. Captain John H. Miller (Tom Hanks) of the 2nd Ranger Battalion leads a breakout from the beach that makes it through to the German encampment. It is about 15 minutes of carnage and nobody will blame you if you want to forward through this until the action cools down. Elsewhere on the beach, a dead soldier lies face-down in the bloody surf; his pack is stenciled Ryan, S. It is at this point I would recommend taking a breather if you need one.

Continuing on, we are shifted to Washington, D.C., at the War Department (keep an eye out for Bryan Cranston with one arm), where General George C. Marshall learns that three of the four sons of the Ryan family were killed in action within a short time of one another. Daniel Ryan in New Guinea shortly before D-Day, Sean Ryan at Omaha Beach, and Peter Ryan at Utah Beach: all dead with letters arriving the same day for their mother. The fourth son, James Francis Ryan, is with the 101st Airborne Division somewhere in Normandy. After reading Abraham Lincoln's Bixby letter, which is meant to comfort grieving parents, aloud, Marshall orders Ryan found and brought home.

Three days after D-Day, Miller receives orders to find Ryan and bring him back. He chooses seven men from his company for the job—T/Sgt. Mike Horvath (Tom Sizemore), Privates First Class Richard Reiben (Edward Burns) and Adrian Caparzo (Vin Diesel), Privates Stanley Mellish (Adam Goldberg) and Daniel Jackson (Barry Pepper), T/4 medic Irwin Wade (Giovanni Ribisi) and T/5 Timothy Upham (Jeremy Davies), an interpreter from the 29th Infantry Division. The group moves out to Neuville where they meet a squad of the 101st engaged against the enemy and both Ted Danson and Paul Giamatti show up. THe group searching for Ryan bump into a stranded French family who try to give over their children but a German sniper breaks up the party. Caparzo is killed by a German sniper, who is then killed by Jackson (who makes the most amazing shot that legends are made of). They locate a Private James Ryan (Nathan Fillion), only to learn that he is James Frederick Ryan. On the point of giving up, the Captain starts asking random passing soldiers and learns that Ryan is defending an important bridge in Ramelle.

Near Ramelle, Miller decides to neutralize a German machine gun position at a derelict radar station, despite his men's misgivings. It does not go well and the medic, Wade, is killed in the process. They take a German soldier that they name Steamboat Willie (Joerg Stadler) who gives up willingly and pleads for his life. The men are angry and want to kill the soldier since they can’t take any extras, so, at Upham's urging, Miller frees the surviving German soldier. Losing confidence in Miller's leadership, Reiben declares his intention to desert, prompting a confrontation with Horvath, who threatens to shoot him. Miller defuses the standoff by disclosing his civilian career as a high school English teacher in a small Pennsylvania town.

At Ramelle, they find Ryan (Matt Damon) among a small group of paratroopers preparing to defend the key bridge against an imminent German attack. Miller tells Ryan that his brothers are dead, and that he was ordered to bring him home. Ryan is distressed about his brothers, but is unwilling to leave his post. Miller combines his unit with the paratroopers in defense of the bridge. He devises a plan to ambush the enemy with two .30-caliber machine guns, Molotov cocktails, anti-tank mines, and improvised satchel charges made from socks. It is basically suicide so the bridge is wired to explode in case it can’t be held. 

Now is a time to take a breather if you need one because it is about to get bad again. Elements of the 2nd SS Panzer Division arrive with two Tiger tanks and two Marder tank destroyers, all protected by infantry. The small American group holds off the force the best they can, Although they inflict heavy damage on the Germans, nearly all of the paratroopers, along with Jackson, Mellish and Horvath, are killed. It turns out that Steamboat Willie joined the group and he personally kills Mellish with a Nazi youth knife (it is horrible) and shoots Miller Captain Miller as he attempts to blow up the bridge. Miller crawls to retrieve the bridge detonator, and fires ineffectually but defiantly with his pistol at an oncoming tank. As the tank reaches the bridge, an American P-51 Mustang flies overhead and destroys the tank, after which American armored units arrive to rout the remaining Germans. With the Germans in full retreat, Upham emerges from hiding and shoots Steamboat Willie dead, having witnessed him shooting Miller, but allows his fellow soldiers to flee.

Miller tells Ryan to “earn this” before dying from his injuries. As the scene transitions to the present, Ryan is revealed to be the veteran from the beginning of the film, and is standing in front of Miller's grave expressing his gratitude for the sacrifices Miller and his unit made in the past. Ryan asks his wife if he was worthy of such sacrifice, to which she replies that he is. The final scene shows Ryan saluting Miller's grave and fades to the American flag gently waving in the breeze.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really have a hard time getting through this film without pausing and taking a breather. I saw the film in the theater when I was 18, so my friends and I were all around the age that these soldiers would have been that rushed that beach and retook France. It was truly terrifying. Now I am old and have back issues, so I wouldn’t be put on a front line, but the kids that I work with and care for would be the exact age to be caught in a draft and that scares me even more. The creative ways in which man finds to kill one another is the greatest threat to humanity. 

The first two times I saw the film, I did not realize that it was the same German soldier that the group had captured who eventually killed many of the group we were following. It really changes the message in the end. I had thought that Captain Miller had showed his humanity showing mercy, but it turns out that this mercy is misplaced. Now it seems like Spielberg is saying that neither humanity, nor religion, nor innocence, nor skill, nor even intelligence can save a man in the heat of battle. The only way to live is to watch the back of your group and protect each other like family.

There was a little bit of a travesty that occurred at the Academy in early 1999, because this film lost out in the Best Picture category to Shakespeare in Love. This is the same year that also saw Saving Private Ryan, The Truman Show, Life is Beautiful, Elizabeth, and The Thin Red Line. There had to be something behind that because I wouldn’t consider the winner even in the top 5. Shakespeare in Love is considered one of the worst Best Picture winners along with Crash and The Artist. Oscars are not everything and this movie is one of the best examples of this.

When I say that some of the scenes from this movie are difficult, I really do mean it. There was a hotline set up for people who have PTSD that was triggered by the film. One of the actual members of the 101st Airborne, Major Richard Winters, was consulted about the occurrences surrounding the attack. He said that it brought up many memories that he had worked hard to suppress because he had been taught that war veterans couldn’t express the psychological pain of battle. He also said that it was an important film that revealed what war was really like.

On Veteran’s Day in 2001 and 2004, ABC aired the film uncut with limited commercial interruptions. Living in California, I was able to watch the film on both of those occasions and remember getting my girlfriend at the time to watch in 2004. The film has become like a memorial to Americans lost in the European Campaign during WW2, so I treat viewing as a badge of honor and understanding, no matter how difficult it is to watch.

This film is a pretty easy answer when it comes to the standard questions for the most part. Does this film belong on the AFI top 100? Of course. It is the new benchmark for which all American war films will be judged. It is historically accurate, it is beautifully shot and directed, and it leaves a lasting impression far longer than just about any movie I have seen. Would I recommend it? This one has an age warning. It is not appropriate for young children because the first and last battle scenes are nightmare fuel. Even worse, they are apparently very realistic. It is hard to recommend something that is so scarring, but it will keep people for glorifying battle. It is horrific and should be avoided as much as possible. And that is a lesson that I believe this movie teaches better than any other. So please give this movie a watch and feel free to take a break if you need it.