#and he is regarded as HOT and COMPETENT except with regards to his dating life

[shih-coulda-had-it]

One for All Band AU! Generation 1. Banjo's talking about fight night (code for "We are vigilantes disguising ourselves, but really effectively, as a rock band") which Toshinori enthusiastically wants to participate in. Torino and Bruce are gossiping.

[goblinmatriarch]

Drarry 2022 Roundup!

Just some drarry I loved in 2022.

Love to do year round-ups weeks after the year ended and with zero system or approach except scrolling back through my bookmarks and being like "aw yeah, that one! Nice!". Anyway, here are 16 drarry fics that got me through 2022.

Contretemps by @moonflower-rose (8.5k)

This was my erised gift and it's perfect! Some really fun magical lore, a perfectly fumbling bumbling Harry with a crush, and the rare oblivious Draco. It's quick and witty and sparklingly awkward.

The Unknown Door by waterwings (70k)

This fic was in a class by itself! The house magic was eerie and Draco's post-war fate was bleak, and then there is a slow, glorious healing of everyone through a community of misfits. Really imaginative magic and a lot of finding of lost ways.

The Stuff of Clouds and Skies by @myrtlefics (7.5k)

Harry with an obvious crush and ANOTHER oblivious Draco, truly 2022 was my year in that regard! And then there are the 17th century ghost bros, and Draco helplessly finding himself having to do things he thought he'd never do again to save Harry. And THEN Draco has to spend a bunch of time stumbling through an Auror investigation with a competent Ron and it's all just.....unf, so good.

Romp and Circumstance by @wolfpants (35k)

Like drinking champagne while horny. Such a sexy, fun fic, which makes sense as it's from Bodice Ripper Fest. Draco as the virginal ingenue meeting Harry's rake seduction head-on was delicious and overwhelming and full of 'technically' not crossing any sexy sexy lines, which, if you're into that, is hot as all get-out. (Spoiler: I am into that)

Eager for the Sky by @oknowkiss (35k)

Hogwarts AU that puts Harry and Draco on the same team and also makes quidditch have some level of strategy, a feat in and of itself! Harry is a confused, bumbling seducer who is so bad at it that Draco has no idea, which means......another oblivious!Draco! It's funny and insightful and poignant and well worth a read.

In Free Fall by @kbrick (81k)

Harry is an adrenaline junkie doing stunts all over the world. Draco is a big old nerd. They grow to understand each other and make space in one another's lives. This was really thoughtful and insightful about like....mm, maybe what it's like wanting things different from the standard, and I was enthralled by the way Harry shaped and reshaped his life. Honestly don't think I'm doing this one justice, just read it.

Yours Truly by @skeptiquewrites (14.5k)

Ahhh this one is so much fun! Fake dating! Fake dating! And then a furious but handsome Draco, a community of friends, some very cool magical jobs, and Drunk Hermione my love.

The Truth about Love by waterwings (52k)

Pureblood magic and rituals being dismantled! All the fun of learning about ancient, complicated snobby binding rituals AND the joy of Draco's personal growth being in dismantling them. Lots of great friendship stuff, with Pansy and Hermione especially as affectionately mocking allies.

I have not yet forgot myself to stone by @elskanellis (3k)

Absolutely haunting Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind LCDrarry crossover. It's ambiguously tragic and lovely and fragile and beautiful. It takes the trope of them finding each other over and over no matter what and turns Harry's utter faith into a tragic flaw.

Welcome! Everything is Fine! by @melociraptor (12k)

A smart and funny Good Place @lcdrarry fic with pitch-perfect character voices. Truly worth a read for drarry encountering Jason Mendoza alone, and then there is EVEN MORE to love beyond that! It's sort of picaresque scenes from a year, varying between hilariously silly to startlingly poignant, and it's worth a read even if you're unfamiliar with the original work.

Our Time by @mosrael (40k)

Another fic with astonishing world-building and deeply cool magical lore. I've never seen the work it's based on (Arrival), and I did not care. The driving magical mystery was exciting, and the drarry relationship develops naturally and joyously alongside it.

Silverpoint by @tackytigerfic (8k)

I could have linked p much any tackytiger fic I've read this year buuuut this one is most recent in my bookmarks so it gets the shout-out 😂. It's a lovely, short, second-person look at Harry's observations of Draco over the years. Read it and then also the rest of tacky's fics.

Tis a Far Better Thing by @the-sinking-ship (37k)

This Clueless AU sent me on a tear through all of Sinking Ship's fics, and I stand by that choice. Draco's voice blends beautifully with Cher's, and Draco as the lost, confused fashion plate socialite discovering himself is absolutely perfect. This reclist could maybe double as an oblivious!Draco one because guess what he's here, too, and I love it.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them by @dustmouth-blog (96k)

Comfort read that feels like taking a long hot bath then crawling into clean sheets for almost 100k words! Harry has some mh stuff to grapple with, and there are some gentle negotiations around sex and relationship stuff, and it's all so careful and soft and soothing.

Exposure by @margeurite (6k)

Suuuuch a hot fic omg. Draco accidentally discovers Harry's exhibitionist streak alongside Harry himself awkwardly realising oh no he is into this and it's just. Hoo boy. It's steamy.

Come as you Are by @peachpety (3.5k)

Peach is a master of texting/social media in fics, and this was the one that made me fall in love! Sweet little high school AU with awkward sexuality and a lot of fun online gossip

Potential Gravity by zeitgeistic (32k)

This one stands on its own; I can't really compare it to any other fic. Harry's lack of care for his own life is in full effect, and Draco is so angry at him for it. Some cool looks at magic and magical govt outside of England (in Beirut!) And also there is a baby manticore.

Knead, then let rise by @softlystarstruck (7k)

I guess another theme of my year is soft, gentle, soothing fics of healing. Real mystery, that, cannot even guess why that might have been 😅. Anyway, it's lovely and domestic and sweet.

And that's all, folks! Read em, don't read em, but those were my favourite fics that I read in 2022! Thanks to all the authors for making me laugh, cry, or soothe myself to sleep!

[mybeautifulreina]

Snap

Author note: Hey guys! I know it's been a long time since my last post due to my responsibility for my study. Since my blog anniversary is around the corner, I will open the request, and I will try to post as fast as I could as thanks to all my followers that support me since this blog exist. This a quick question and answer that no one asks for. Did this scenario happen in my real life? Unfortunately yes. Did I do this kind of behaviour in the introduction? Almost do it, except for the argument. Why? Law did not allow me to do immoral things to my problematic teammate. Did I do this post as my coping mechanism? Yes, I did. This post will focus a bit on how my Mc handle their problematic teammates and how the brothers react to their snapped things, and no law can stop them from doing immoral things (You know how hell work, right?). D/N is the Demon's Name! Anyway, enjoy my misery post.

TRIGGERED WARNING: Violence(?) and swearing

Mc needs to complete their group work assignment, and they feel so freaking pressured when the due date is just around the corner, especially when one of their teammates did not do anything. The problematic teammates are one of the student council member bureaucracy and sit with Mc and the brothers after the meeting is done. "Hey D/N, when do you want to complete your part in the assignment work since the due date is just around the corner?" Mc asks the problematic member while working on their assignment. "Just chill, Mc. The due date is still a long way to go. I will do it later," D/N stated in a steady voice. "Ohh… Then perhaps can you do your part at least before the next two days so that we can go through our work before submitting it to the professor," Mc sounded annoyed. "Damnnn, that's too early, Mc," Mc disconnected the mouse from their laptop and then throw it at their problematic teammate. "What the hell? That shit almost hit my face you, mere human!" "WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? THE DUE DATE IS JUST FUCKING AROUND THE CORNER AND THE FUCKING AUDACITY FOR YOU TO SAY THAT IT IS STILL EARLY TO COMPLETE THIS FUCKING WORK. WHAT IS THE REAL DEFINITION OF LAST MINUTE TO YOU? A WEEK AFTER THE DUE DATE? YOU KNOW THAT YOUR PART IS THE EASIEST TO DO, BUT YOU DID NOT EVEN BOTHER TO DO IT. I GIVE YOU TWO FUCKING OPTIONS, EITHER I KICK YOUR ASS OUT OF MY GROUP, OR YOU STAY IN MY GROUP, BUT YOU DID NOT GET ANY CREDIT, AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU GET THE FUCKING LOWEST MARK AMONG MY TEAMMATES," Mc snapped at their problematic teammate and leaves the student council office.

Lucifer -Did you just do that? -Kinda shock that his human has the strength to crash down the mouse -Get it why you snap -He watches you struggle to complete the assignment -Your eyebags could compete with his, and maybe yours are more obvious than him -Stress is not good for human -So, your patient has a limit? -Do a mental note to talk to the professor regarding free riders in your group -Maybe will use you as an excuse to discipline his brothers

Mammon -Will argue with the demon after you leave -Almost fistfight the demon, but Lucifer stop it before it happens -He can't stand looking at you suffer about the assignment -Because of that demon your time spent with him became less and lesser -Make a mental note to buy yourself a new mouse and your comfort food to calm yourself down

Leviathan -Looking at your facial expression when you snap is kinda hot -Feels shiver down in his spine when you glare at the demon -No Leviathan -It's not time for simping you for more -Hope that you look down at him like that -Down bad for that -He can feel his knees shaking up -Please knock this masochist demon head

Satan -Ooohhhh damn -He can feel the sin since before the meeting but kinda fade -He can feel your sin, but for a while, your wrath has gone just like that, but then it came back when you review the work -The sin became stronger when you became annoyed after the meeting -Before he can do anything, you already snapped -He never feels this much sin from you even though his brother has done a lot of things -Your wrath is still controllable after everything you went through with the brother's shenanigan -So that's what makes you angry? -Amuse -Even though you leave the place, he can still feel your sin radiate from you -Will chase after you to calm you down -Before that, he will shoot some glare to the D/N as a warning

Asmodeus -Want to take a record of you snapping -But feel wrong -He notices that besides your snap and frustration, there are some tears form in the corner eye, but they do not fall -When you feel a bit better he will slowly approach you -He does not want to trigger you more -Taking care of your face -"You know that we need to take care of our beauty even though we are depressed? As they say, depressed but still pretty all the time," Asmo cradle your face -You giggle when he tries to cheer you up -Cuddle, spa, say everything, he will do everything to relax you -He does not like your wrath because that does not look good on you

Beelzebub -Stop chewing -Look at his twin -So that's why you ignore your health especially eat -Says nothing to the demon, but his glare and body language say everything

Belphegor -Wake up from the crash sound -Hear that you snapping and shouting -Look at his twin -So that demon is the reason why you're restless? -Being prepared for the nightmare of that demon

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if you were sent back and ended up in the orphanage with Tom Riddle—and say you also had magic?

Oh boy.

Well, there's a lot to question here. Judging by the... spirit of this ask, I presume I'm... pretty much reincarnated. I'm in the orphanage, I'm much younger than I am now and a child, I'm pre-Hogwarts age, and I retain my current knowledge.

For the purpose of this ask I suppose I also retain my current mental faculties. Despite being in the body of an eight-year-old, I'm not The Carnivorous Muffin at eight.

Welp, there's a lot to consider here.

First, I probably don't realize I'm in Harry Potter for quite some time and instead assume I've been reincarnated to some parallel universe. It's the 1930's, I'm in England in the depression, WWI has occurred and the vast majority of major historical events I know about seem to have happened in the right order, and this Earth is eerily similar to the Earth I left behind.

Strange that I appear to remember everything of my past life with my adult mental abilities, but alright universe, I guess that's how we're going to play this.

What I do know is that I'm dirt poor, presumably still a woman which does not bode well for my career prospects, and if I want any prospects in life period I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail for it. It'd be great if I got adopted to help with this, and might be nice to have people in my life who love me, but there's a lot of orphans in the world and a lot of orphans who are much less weird than I am.

The orphanage is the orphanage and not great, Mrs. Cole is overworked, the orphanage is chronically understaffed, and the kids are running wild beating the shit out of each other.

Being a girl, I probably don't have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of me quite as much, but I still probably try to keep my head down and don't aggravate the particularly beefy looking orphans.

Yes, there's some very angry gremlin named Tom Riddle around who will shove you down the stairs in retribution, but that's just a weird coincidence. And then supernatural shit starts happening. Billy's rabbit hangs itself, people get injuries when Tom is nowhere near them, and I start wondering if this is really the Tom Riddle.

I'm in Wool's Orphanage, my matron is Mrs. Cole, Tom Riddle is running around lighting things on fire. It's possible, though it could all be a strange coincidence.

Now, how things go from here depends on how controlled my own magic is. Since accidental magic typically does manifest at least once or twice, it probably does manifest for me for.. something. If Tom Riddle's there to witness it then...

Well, I imagine he's very offended. Here he was, special, different, better than everyone else, and then some girl in the orphanage (who dares to get very good grades on her assignments in school) has it too.

And I just stand there, smiling, going "Tee hee".

He probably confronts me to prove that he's better at it than I am, and he probably is unless the universe hates both him and me, but having someone else with the Shining around probably prompts him to take me as his protégé (in part so he can show off and in part because he's genuinely excited to be able to share this super cool talent).

I am now apprentice to eight-year-old Tom Riddle. Whoop de doo.

Well, I don't remember this part of Harry Potter, so now I'm probably confused as to where I am again. Regardless, I try to advise Tom on how to tone it down and not, say, traumatize Amy and Dennis for life and antagonize all the other orphans forever. He probably doesn't take me seriously. What do I know, I can't even light that patch of grass on fire?

Hanging around Tom Riddle gets me a reputation to, given the difference in genders, probably a fairly nasty one at that. When Dumbledore arrives he's undoubtedly told hot gossip about how eleven-year-old Tom and I have had sex in a ritual to summon Satan. Dumbledore takes this seriously.

Dumbledore probably meets us both at the same time and it's a disaster. I tried my best to prep Tom without revealing I'm a prophet, Tom first doesn't believe there might not be others, then doesn't believe they would be antagonist/anything but amazed by how awesome he is.

Well, Dumbledore lights his wardrobe on fire while I sit there. Dying inside. Dumbledore probably also does something to me too, to teach me some kind of lesson about something.

I imagine he temporarily disfigures me/makes me appear very ugly, then sticks a mirror to the wall, that way I realize that looks aren’t everything/being a whore is wrong. Tom, still traumatized over the wardrobe, is no help and my magic’s probably not controlled enough to do a thing about it.

I spend a day looking like a pig, Tom and I are given just enough money to buy new wands and second hand/barely functioning everything else and given the world’s worst directions to Diagon Alley. Thanks, Albus.

Well, months pass, we get our wands, Tom gets excited for Hogwarts and I... start seriously considering the future. WWII is coming, the Blitz is coming, Tom and I live in east London and must be able to evacuate during the bombing of London (which went on well past the Blitz to the end of the war). I also start considering my future in the wizarding world. Do I now actually have career prospects?

Probably not because I’m muggle born and a woman. My best bet is doing very well in useful subjects and finding employment with the goblins, I can’t imagine they have the same hang ups as the wizarding world.

Tom wants to go to Slytherin, of course, I tell him this is a bad idea. “Gee Tom,” I say, “Not sure how I know this but I have this feeling that Slytherin is filled with people who loathe our very existence and will shank us. Why don’t we pick Ravenclaw or Gryffindor instead?”

No one shanks Tom Riddle! Tom says. Tom is still eleven and while he admits that sometimes I may, in retrospect, have been right about certain things that doesn’t mean he wants to go to the house known for hard work. That’s code word for everyone there being a moron and having no other redeeming features than tenacity. As for the other two, Ravenclaws sound like smug, elitist, nerds and Gryffindors like dumb jocks.

Better to be known for ambition, cunning, and actually being competent.

Well, there’s no talking him out of this one, and goddamn it we’re all each other has.

I’m the closest thing Tom Riddle has ever had to a friend in all these years and in the orphanage the only one who could hold a decent conversation with him. And while it’s not my moral obligation to keep Tom from becoming a domestic terrorist, and there’s no guarantee I even can, dumping him for one of the other houses and drifting apart won’t help.

Not to mention that, after all these years, I’m undoubtedly lonely, I’m in this foreign land, and he’s now the closest thing to a friend I have.

Looks like I’m going to Slytherin, YOOOOOLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! I shout as a battle cry as tears run down my face. I may have to convince the hat to put me in Slytherin, but like all human beings I am a mixture of many qualities. I’m not cunning in the least, mind games exhaust me unutterably, but I’m full of ambition. 

This confirms every bad opinion Dumbledore had regarding me and Tom.

For the next several months, Tom probably beats the shit out of dormmates who steal his things/harass him. He beats up mine too because feminism (TM) means that he should treat all people equally when guilty of the same crime. I... am not sure I can win that fight so I just resign myself to having to adopt some of Tom’s tactics to make sure I’m not shoved in lockers, have tampons thrown at me, or pig’s blood dumped on me at the prom.

Once again, everyone thinks Tom Riddle and I are dating. I don’t even know if they’re wrong at this point.

Well, being in class with eleven year olds who seem to have had little to no prior education, Tom and I are undoubtedly blazing through class. I imagine I’m bored out of my mind (the Hogwarts curriculum sounds unbelievably boring) and Tom is... well, probably devouring the library but probably also bored. I decide to try and see if I can find some real history texts on this world (there are probably none, the wizarding world seems to only have two historians and both... have a different approach to history than current modern thought as I know it) and discover what magic even is. That shit is fascinating: wingardium leviosa is not.

Dumbledore likely gives neither me nor Tom points in class, I think the house cup is stupid, so I really don’t care. I have no interest in playing quidditch, neither does Tom, so that doesn’t happen.

The second world war starts up, Tom, me, and the muggle borns are the only ones who give a flying fuck. I work harder on figuring out how to get lodging during the Blitz/the bombing of London. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole hates me too for being the Bride of Satan, so that’s a no go. Third year, 1939, I probably write her in earnest anyway telling her to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, send Tom and I instructions for the summer/where the orphans are staying/how they’ve been dispersed to the countryside. As a back up plan, I try desperately to shmooze shopkeepers in Hogsmeade during every Hogsmeade weekend to get myself and Tom part time jobs and lodging over the summer. As a back up back up plan, I spend my time badgering Tom to become very good at survivalist wandless magic and if the Lord has pity on me gain some ability in it myself.

Hopefully, either Mrs. Cole or one of the Hogsmeade shop owners take pity on us. If not, then Tom and I are going extreme camping. Given Mrs. Cole (and the brain damage brought on by Dumbledore erasing memories left and right) and the likelihood of Hogsmeade shop owners just not getting it, Tom and I probably go extreme camping.

(Tom, meanwhile, asks Dippet and Dumbledore if we can stay in Hogwarts over the summer. He’s told no exceptions. London’s being bombed, you say? No exceptions. Toodles. Tom is never the same.)

Me, Tom Riddle, a tent we made ourselves, several rabbits we had to catch and skin ourselves, and the pitiful fire that we can keep going through pure will alone because if we try to use real people spells then we’ll get arrested. It has the benefit of making Tom feel very manly and impressive, catching his own food, but both of us are well aware that this sucks.

But hey, we aren’t dead.

Well, I’m sure Tom doesn’t appreciate that and this is where I imagine he seriously starts talking about violent revolution. I imagine much of my time is spent discussing the merits of not violently overthrowing our ant overlords. I imagine a thirteen-year-old Tom isn’t impressed by my pacifism, but he’s not married to Voldemort yet (probably).

Then I imagine the horcrux thing comes up and... Well, I will argue hard against it. Humans die, it is a truth of the universe, and simply something we have to accept. Horcruxes are not a measure against that, they can be destroyed, given infinite time they will be, and the sacrifice they require is too high: human life as well as the very essence of who you are.

What is a soul? I’m not sure, we never really learn in HP canon, but whatever it is, it is in some way the essence of yourself. If you take half of it and throw it somewhere else, you will cease to be you, someone or something else is walking around in your body while the other half of you exists in endless agony.

If you must chase immortality, create a philosopher’s stone (as I darkly wonder why it was that couldn’t be replicated and what Flamel had to do to make it in the first place). On second thought, maybe we should search for the Holy Grail.

Whether I can talk Tom out of this or not is... unclear. I’m going to say that I can, in part because I imagine he’ll want to show the chamber off to me, tell me when he realizes he’s Heir of Slytherin, and in doing so I can prevent the basilisk incident from occurring. Without that, there’s no dead Myrtle, which means no first victim. That summer, when he goes to the Gaunts, I’ll go with him and convince him that it’s not worth it. He can just turn around and leave these people alone, I hopefully can talk him down. Which means no second victim.

I start writing Flamel to see if Tom or I can get an apprenticeship (Dumbledore probably beats us to the chase and poisons him against us, but it’s worth a shot).

Then, should all go well, I can convince Tom to find employment with the goblins rather than shady antique dealers on the bad side of town. Hopefully, I can convince him to never become Voldemort, and instead we travel the world together looking for the origins of magic or something.

Dumbledore goes around taking people’s memories of us in preparation for when Tom becomes a dark lord and I his lady of the night darkness.

TL;DR Apparently my life would become an SI/Tom Riddle fic. So, thanks anon.

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: and sings the tune without the words, ch. 3

Relationship: Jiāng Yànlí & Jīn Zǐxuān, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

Characters: Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan, Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian

Additional Tags: Epistolary, Food, Music

Summary: An epistolary follow-up to “the thing with feathers.” Exchanged letters.

Notes: See end.

Previous fic in the series: “the thing with feathers”

Chapters: 1 | 2

AO3 link

--------------

To Jin-gongzi,

I sincerely apologize for the delay in writing back. A-Xian had an episode, like the one you saw, but he was unconscious for two days and very frightened and confused after he woke. I had a letter started before that occurred but am writing a new one now. 

I am glad you like Zihuang’s design. When a-die took me to the luthier, we discussed the various options available for both sound and decoration. Since my practice instrument was a shoo konghou, they recommended I choose the same, but the fong shou design called to me. 

I decided on the mother of pearl instead of a precious metal or jade because I liked the shine of it, but also for another reason. Before A-Xian fell ill, he and A-Cheng always brought me lovely shells they found while swimming in the river. They used to compete with each other to see who could find the most diving. So the nacre reminds me of them. I don’t know if A-Xian remembers this—perhaps I should mention it to him. 

I confess I am still a little distressed over A-Xian’s episode, so I apologize if I go off on tangents.

As a result of my childhood illness, I sometimes have dizzy spells. Largely it is under control, but Healer Kang said that improving my core might also improve my health. I’m happy that I can find a way to contribute to Yunmeng Jiang even with a weak body. I agree that there should be more avenues available to young cultivators who may not be able to fight monsters—if the sects encouraged such disciples to utilize their cultivation to heal or engage in other activities that would enrich the sect, it would only strengthen the sects!

Cooking is an activity I quite enjoy, and I would be happy to serve lotus root and pork rib soup sometime when you visit. My soup was the very first thing he remembered, actually. When A-Xian first came to us, he was scared and so malnourished, and I always cook it for him and A-Cheng, especially when they’re sick or troubled. I’m happy cooking it for him meant so much to him that it broke through his amnesia. 

Your suggestion about handstands was something I tried. It was very difficult, and I was so involved in trying to do one that I forgot Lan-xiansheng was coming to give me a music lesson. It was so embarrassing to be caught, as I was a little disheveled. But he smiled—I think he almost laughed, even, especially after I explained. 

He said your idea is sound, but I will need to work my way up to an actual handstand. For now, he showed me several exercises I can do to work on my muscles, and recommended I do the arm motions of sword forms with a light practice wooden one. I can move to heavier ones as my strength increases, and eventually I will be ready for handstands. Thank you for the suggestion. I am glad I can speak of this with you. 

I was unable to find a konghou score in our library, but I can write to Lan-xiansheng to ask if there is one in theirs. I, too, enjoy that song, though there’s a sadness to it, since it’s a farewell song. I may not be at the level where I can play it yet, but it is good to know what music you like. 

One of our cooks is from Lanling, but not near the capitol. I asked her about those dishes, and she knows them and will be happy to prepare them next time you visit. She’s also willing to teach me how to cook them! She cooked up basi pinggou for dessert once A-Xian recovered, even, and we all very much enjoyed it. It’s so sweet, and the texture is very pleasant. A-Xian and A-Cheng competed to make the longest thread of sugar.

Yunmeng cuisine is indeed known for its spice—but never take food from A-Xian, since he goes overboard with the spices. He dumps chili oil on everything, except my soup which he insists is perfect. 

I am very fond of re gan mian (hot dry noodles), and I like pianpiya (Hubei duck) which you might enjoy since one of the dishes you mentioned is a duck dish. As a dessert, I am very fond of sweet doufunao (tofu brains/pudding). 

A-Lian was a gift from the lotuses, our beautiful lotus meimei. A-Xian’s illness changed quite a bit for us. A-Niang became protective of him, and she started talking to a-die more. She also decided that we should seek orphans and street children and educate them so they may become cultivators, if they have the capacity, or take on a trade. She’s also made it her personal mission to rescue women enslaved at brothels so they might also be able to be educated and learn trades. Our family has grown, as has our sect, and we’re all very happy. 

I think a-niang is happy to have found more purpose, and to have reconciled with a-die. They had deep misunderstandings, I think. A-Xian’s illness forced them to talk, and things are much better now. 

I am including some of the rose petal candy you enjoyed with this letter. I hope it finds you and your family well.

Jiang Yanli

  To Jiang-guniang,

Your gift of rose petal candy is much appreciated. 

I am sorry to hear of your brother’s illness; you obviously care deeply for all of your siblings, so I have no doubt it was distressing for you. When I was there, he passed out for no more than a ke, which seemed from the reaction of everyone to be more typical. Yu-furen mentioned he was attacked and fell into a coma for weeks. It is quite understandable that you are distracted. Is he recovered?

The choices behind your konghou are interesting. I have not engaged in music beyond a rudimentary grasp of the suona as a pursuit of the six arts, but perhaps I should refine my skills and consider music more carefully. As you stated, we need not limit ourselves to the sword as cultivators. 

As such, I agree with you on pursuing cultivation for healing and perhaps the arts. I wonder if cultivation could be utilized in the visual arts, as well. I tried to speak of it with fuqin but he seemed disinterested and called the idea “quaint.” I believe it is a good idea—no one thinks the Lan quaint for pursuing musical cultivation, and I have heard a branch of the Wen sect is known for its healing cultivation. In fact, you might look into them, though I don’t know what branch it is. 

It sounds very much like you have used cooking almost as a healing art for the benefit of your brother. I wonder if, like with medicine, qi can be infused in food somehow. Maybe not for healing, but for other things like comfort. I have never considered this before, and I am enjoying this discussion. I may research it in the library here, but I would like to know what you find if you look into it as well. Regardless, your cooking sounds powerful on its own. 

I had not considered the status of your body, which you mentioned was weakened by your childhood illness, and I am relieved you did not injure yourself in the attempt. That is a very real consideration if you push your body too much; I once tried one of the more advanced Jin sword techniques before I was ready to and wound up hurting my shoulder. I’m glad Lan-xiansheng prevented any harm from coming to you. 

I will see if there is a konghou score for it in the Jin library, but it could probably be adapted for the konghou by a musician, perhaps with different levels so you can start with a simpler version and then progress as you improve. That’s usually how I learn footwork and sword technique. I’m not sure if your sect trains the same way. 

Your description of your brothers eating basi pinggou made me smile, as I do the same thing. It’s part of the fun of eating it when it’s hot. I’m happy to hear you enjoyed it, and I hope you also enjoy the other dishes when you get to try them. 

Some of our cuisine is spicy, but I can scarcely imagine eating something spicier than Yunmeng dishes—your brother must like strong flavors. 

I have been living in Koi Tower my entire life, but somehow had never gone to the kitchens before. The cooks were very startled to see me. I asked about the dishes you mentioned, and one of the cooks was familiar with Yunmeng cuisine. She cautioned me that the spice can be quite strong but can be adjusted to taste. In Lanling, our doufunao is salty, so I was surprised it could be a sweet dish. 

The cook kindly made a small bowl of it and allowed me to watch the preparation. She used ginger in the syrup. It was a little strange at first, since I’m used to it being a savory dish, but it was quite good. I asked if the kitchen would consider occasionally serving it for dessert with dinner and making it when you and your family come to visit, and they were amenable. 

I don’t quite understand what you mean by “a gift from the lotuses,” but it is not my place to pry. Yu-furen stated she was Jiang Wuxian’s adopted sister, so it makes sense that she would also become your sister upon his adoption. 

Yu-furen’s idea about orphans and street children seems sensible, especially given your brother’s past. Some gentry may be concerned about elevating the status of such children, though. She may face criticism for this, and for the other. I know a-niang hates prostitutes, but I don’t think it’s their fault if they’re slaves. What else can slaves do but obey? Rescuing them seems just. 

Your parents’ relationship has turned quite positive, and it seems good for you and your siblings. 

I am including some of my favorite malt candies in several flavors, and enough that your family can try them as well. My favorite is the date walnut candy. I hope you enjoy them. 

With best regards,

Jin Zixuan

---------------

Jin Zixuan is a little jealous that Jiang Yanli’s family is so happy and his, well, isn’t. He’s also tentatively fascinated by their discussion of cultivation, and a little mad that his shitty father won’t discuss it with him. He’s also aware of why his mother hates prostitutes but is not willing to say so. 

From fan-created maps, it seems Lotus Pier is in Hubei province, so I used several dishes from there as Jiang Yanli’s favorites. Doufunao is called tofu brains but is a kind of soft pudding tofu. In Shandong province it would be made with savory flavors, but in Hubei it’s made with sugar. Cantonese cooking apparently uses ginger with it, and the recipe I found also does. I also found a recipe for date walnut candy that looks divine. 

Also, apparently the suona is popular in Shandong province, but also kind of sounds like the mating call of a peacock and I just couldn’t help myself. Music is one of the six arts young gentlemen would be expected to have some proficiency in, so it makes sense that he has at least rudimentary competence. 

Jiang Yanli upped the ante by sending him the candy he noted enjoying. And Jin Zixuan is not one to be outdone, so of course he sent some back, and enough for her siblings to boot! This is a matter of pride!

[obxlife]

In Need of Help (Pope x Reader)

A/N: Okay, so I had this idea for Pope and I knew I had to write it! I just feel like it’s very sweet and soft and idk. Plus, it has an enemy to lovers trope, which I personally love. Also, the valedictorian and salutatorian at my school are also dating and I just got that idea from them lol.

Word Count: 3,513

Request: -

Summary: Pope finds himself with some trouble regarding his scholarship work, and he knows he can’t turn to his friends for this. Instead, he sucks up his pride and turns to you, the runner up for the Lucas T Vanderhorst Merit Scholarship. Oh, and his enemy regarding academics. 

Warnings: Mild swearing.

IN NEED OF HELP

Pope was in trouble. Not serious trouble like JJ regarding his dad or John B in relation to the DCS and basically being homeless. No, Pope was in trouble in a way that may almost seem absurd. 

He was struggling with his goddamn scholarship essay. And the worst part of it all was that he had technically already won the scholarship. 

See, this was just a follow-up essay he had to do to ensure he was not going to be ripped apart from the opportunity of actually getting the scholarship. And it had been the hardest essay he had to write. Mainly because it asked for more of a story instead of focusing on a scientific topic, and Pope had always struggled with that. 

The paper he was writing his draft on was filled with eraser marks and little doodles around the edges. Most of the doodles were of things he could see. His eraser, his pinky finger, his cup of water on his desk. There was only one he wasn’t really sure why he had drawn. It was the one object that was not in the room with him at that instant, and the worst part of it all was that he truly hated it. What had he drawn? You. 

For some reason, Pope had drawn you onto the edge of his paper. He didn’t really understand why he had because, as mentioned before, he hated you with a passion that ran so deep in his veins it was a part of who he was. Pope could not be himself if he didn’t hate you, and it was just the same for you. You couldn’t be yourself if you didn’t hate Pope.

Pope began to rub his pencil over the small drawing of your face, wanting nothing more than to get you out of his head. He hated that he had drawn you of al people, and he hated how stuck he was on this stupid essay.

Pope hadn’t realized how much force he was using to press his pencil into the paper until he ripped it. Throwing his pencil down, Pope sighed and pressed his hands to his head, stretching in his seat. 

“That’s it,” he said to himself before grabbing the papers from his desk, his pencil, his eraser, and his pencil sharpener into his backpack. He then grabbed the folder that had arrived through the mail and gently took it into his hands. Pope turned outside of his room and headed towards the shop in front of his house.

His father was behind the counter, checking an old lady out.

“Dad,” Pope called out to him from the door. “I’m heading out.”

The older man froze. He thought he had told his son to work on his scholarship. “I thought I told you to work on your scholarship. Now you know I don’t want you slacking around -”

“I know, I know,” Pope told him. “I just need to clear my head. I’m going over to John B to see if my friends can help.”

“Look here, boy,” Heyward called out to his son while pointing his finger out. Pope stood at the door, on hand already pushing it open. “What are your friends going to help with? They’re all a bunch of good-for-nothings.”

Pope sighed, only shaking his head and turning towards the outside, throwing a “Later, Pops” over his shoulder. The hot afternoon air made Pope’s body break into a sweat, but Pope didn’t mind as he headed deeper into the Cut towards John B’s fishing shack. 

The Chateau stood mighty and tall before the marsh and surrounding it were Pope’s friends. JJ was laying across the hammock sipping on a beer and a joint in his hand while Kie lay opposite of him, playing the ukelele. John B was nowhere to be seen, which meant he was probably inside.

“Hey, guys,” the dark-haired boy called out to the pair. He smiled as he saluted them with their usual handshake before taking a seat in one of the broken-down chairs. Pope set his backpack on the ground, careful not to fold the papers in his hands.

“What you got there, Pope?” JJ asked curiously. Pope knew what he held in his hands would not interest JJ, so he told the boy straight out what it was.

“Scholarship stuff.”

Indeed, JJ shrugged and turned around, bringing the joint back to his lips to take another drag of it. Kie, instead, showed interest in the papers held between Pope’s fingers.

“What do you have to do this time? Another essay about something science-y?” she wondered. 

Pope nodded but then shook his head. “Sort of. It’s an essay but they want a story. But I don’t know what to write about. Like, most of the stuff we do is illegal.”

Kie laughed at this before saying, “Then lie. Just take the illegal parts out.”

“Hard to do when they’re essential to the story,” Pope replied. 

Now JJ laughed, smiling at Pope and diving into one of the many illegal memories they had made together.

While this helped Pope clear his head, it was not guiding him as to what to write for his essay. After about an hour or two hanging out, Pope sighed, knowing he would now have to work on the essay.

“Okay guys, I need y’all to be serious right now. I really need to get this essay done. Any ideas?”

Kie and JJ stared at him blankly, not really knowing how to help. Pope groaned at their reaction, but then groaned even louder when Kie said:

“Why don’t you ask Y/N Y/L/N? Wasn’t she second place for the scholarship?”

“Kie, I literally hate her. We’ve been competing over the top spot in our grade for our whole lives.”

Kie shrugged. “Yeah, but now the scholarship is yours anyway. And besides, didn’t you say the only thing she was better at than you is story writing?”

“I said that when I was drunk,” Pope deadpanned.

“Doesn’t mean it wasn’t true,” JJ said quickly before taking another sip of beer. 

Pope really didn’t want to go see you. He had way too much pride to do so. But his options were wearing thin and he had to send this essay in a week, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do so himself. 

“Well, even if I went to Y/N, I doubt she would be willing to help.”

Kie gave him a hard look. “You don’t know that.”

“Neither do you, Kie,” Pope sighed. “Look, I’ll go to her but she probably hates my guts. I did take the scholarship from her.”

“Hey!” JJ scolded. “Don’t say that, man. We know you won it fair and square. You deserve it.”

“I know I did. But that doesn’t mean she won’t hate me for it. We all know she needs that scholarship just as much as I do to get into college.”

It was true. You had lived your life down in the Cut, working just as much as Pope did with his father. Your mother was the owner of a small boat repair shop which she had received after your father’s death. Because she couldn’t and didn’t know how to work on boats and because your father had taught you everything you know, you were the head repair woman there. Everyone on the island knew how much time you dedicated to the shop, almost as much time as you dedicated to school. 

“Look, man. Let’s be real. Everyone born on the Cut knows they’re probably going to be stuck here forever. You and Y/N were just lucky to have the opportunity to might have not been stuck here, but in the end, you got it. I’m sure she won’t be bitter towards you because she probably still expected her life to be spent on the Cut either way.”

Pope sighed. He knew what JJ was saying was probably true but he hated to think of that. 

“Just go to her, Pope,” Kie told him. 

With that, Pope collected his belongings and headed out towards your shop. It wasn’t far from the Chateau, maybe a five-minute walk, but Pope managed to get there in thirty minutes. He was trying to push back the inevitable. 

Once he arrived he stood outside for another good ten minutes, building up his courage to go in. Breathing in deeply, he told himself that he was going to be fine and that your hate for him had probably dissipated a bit since the end of the school year. He opened the door to the shop and found it was empty except for two men looking down at the bottom of a boat. 

They didn’t turn around when Pope had entered, too concentrated on the person Pope just now saw that was under the boat. 

“What you thinkin’?” one of the men asked as you pushed yourself from out under the boat. The skateboard you were laying upon was uncomfortable and your muscles sighed in relief as you stood up next to them. 

“We’re gonna need two orders of plugs from Guffy and then we can start working on this bad boy,” you told them before wiping your forehead. “Well, I’m off, boys.”

And just as you spun around your eyes fell upon the boy at the door.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Pope could only smile innocently, hoping you would spare him some time of day. 

“What do you want, Heyward?” you asked rudely while heading towards the back of the shop. Pope began to follow you around, sparing a glance at the two men you stared at him dirtily. 

Pope was sure you hated him now.

“Look, I-I need your help, Y/N. And I know you hate me but I really need it.”

Anger and pain were laced in your eyes as you spun around to face the dark-skinned boy. “Yes, I do hate you. And I don’t want to help you. You took the scholarship from me, Pope.”

“Well, technically I didn’t. I won it. But,” he raised his hands in defense when you gave him another murderous look, “I seriously need your help. They gave me a task I know you’re better at than me and I don’t know what to do.” 

You began to tie your hair into a ponytail as you felt your skin grow hot with anger. “So what? You thought you would just strut in here and I’d be willing to help?”

“N-no, but I thought -”

“You thought what? That out of the kindness of my heart I would actually help you? Need I remind you that you took the scholarship from me?”

“I didn’t take the scholarship from you! I won it, fair and square and you know that!”

Your eyes fell to the ground, defeated. You knew what Pope was saying was true, but the denial had helped you cope with the fact that you weren’t enough for the scholarship. You weren’t enough to get out of the Cut.

“Look, Y/N,” Pope began awkwardly. He was scratching the back of his neck, not sure if he was going to be able to get you to help him. “I know you wanted the scholarship - hell, you probably wanted it more than me. And I’m sorry you didn’t get it because you truly deserve it, but I’m not sorry that I got it. And I know that’s selfish, but let’s be real here. We both want to get off the Cut, and we always knew that only one of us was going to make it. So please, please, please help me get out of this place.”

You thought about it. Really hard. And Pope stood before you fidgeting with his fingers and doubting if what he said was the best thing he could have said. He opened his mouth, a rant about to burst through his lips.

“Fine,” you stated. You were going against your instinct, but at least you would get him to shut up. “I’ll help you. But I get free groceries for a month.”

Pope stuttered before answering. “What - you - I - you know I can’t do that! My dad would kill me!”

“Well then, you’ll have to pay with your own money.”

“Okay, fine! But only because I’m really desperate.”

****************************************************************

And so you and Pope began to work together every day for the following week. It only took two hours for you to drop your grudge against him and laugh at his stories and jokes. He would smile at your reactions and feel his previous hate for you to slip into something more similar to love. He began to notice how pretty your eyes were when they seemed to sparkle in the afternoon light and how your skin reminded him of warm summer days. You began to notice how your stupid hatred for him began to transform into a crush. His chocolate brown eyes reminding you of coffees on chilly, winter mornings and his soft smile reminding you of innocence.

Between your hours spent working together, you would talk about other things. You told him about your mother and her disease (which didn’t let her work at the shop with you) and how your friends at school were all out of town because of a road trip they had planned which you couldn’t go on. He told you about the Pogues and the pressure he felt sometimes from his dad. You both told each other a lot more than you had ever expected to share, but the feeling of comfort and understanding that followed these confessions was enough to maintain the both of you stuck together.

Exactly a week after Pope had approached you at your boat shop, you both headed together to the post office that was near the police station. Together you sealed the envelope containing the finished essay and placed the post stamps onto it. You watched Pope pay for the dispatch of the letter and then you walked out together. 

You felt dread in your stomach, not wanting to have to turn your back on your new friendship. You didn’t know if Pope felt the same way as you did, but you felt like you had come to the end of your short relationship. You felt as if, years from now, you would look back and remember Pope as the boy you only helped write an essay and nothing more, which made you afraid to no end. You didn’t want Pope to be only that.

Unbeknownst to you, Pope felt the same way. He was expecting you to turn towards him and say goodbye, followed by a snarky remark. He expected you to go back to hating him and not thinking about him. All he wanted was you to prove him wrong.

“Do you want to grab something to eat?” you both asked at the same time. Then, your eyes widened at the same time, both of you shocked that you wanted to carry on with your friendship.

“Wait, you still want to hang out?” you asked him. Pope nodded vigorously.

“Yeah. Did you really think I wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore?” he asked, a little hurt.

“Shut up, you thought that about me as well!”

With smiles on both of your faces, you turned around towards the Wreck, where you knew Kie would give Pope a discount.

**********************************************

The Pogues hadn’t seen their smart friend for a month. Ever since JJ and Kie had convinced him of reaching out to you for help, he had disappeared.

“Pope pulling a Houdini,” JJ remarked as he arrived at the Chateau to find that, once again, Pope was not there.

“Have you guys even heard from him?” John B asked. 

JJ shrugged but Kie bit her lip. “I see him at the Wreck every once in a while. He’s been hanging around with Y/N.”

“Y/N?” John B said almost laughing. “Okay, we both know they hate each other and that’s a lie.”

“I’m not lying, JB,” Kie rolled her eyes. “I literally saw them there yesterday.”

“No way! Pope has to be dating her!” JJ exclaimed. “It only makes sense! Future valedictorian and salutatorian.”

“That would make a cute couple,” John B muttered while thinking about it.

Kie coughed, trying to bring the boys’ attention back to the main issue they had. “Look, guys, we need to get Pope to hang out with us again. He’s been blowing us off and I do not have enough patience to keep you two from doing dumb shit.”

“Mama’s mad,” JJ whispered. This earned him a smack on the head of the girl.

“Let’s just head over to her shop and see if they’re there.”

*********************************************

“Wait, so JJ stole some boat plugs?”

Pope nodded, perched upon the edge of the boat you were working on. He was leaning back, a book in his lap, as he told you one of his many crazy stories about his friends.

“I don’t know why you asked for my help for the essay when you have so many stories to tell.”

Pope sighed. “As I’ve said before, most of them are illegal.”

You nod your head at what he was saying, agreeing with him. You continued to work on the boat as you felt his eyes upon you.

Pope was looking at your eyes at first. He was counting how many flecks of color they held. Then, he moved onto your skin, noticing how smooth it looked. He wondered if it would feel smooth against his fingers, or if your mouth would feel smoother. He then noticed how plump your lips looked, and Pope could feel himself leaning closer to you.

“Y/N?” he called out so softly you almost didn’t hear him.

You spun your head to look at him, suddenly noticing how small the distance between the both of you had become. You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach and you wondered if he felt them too. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you could only wait until his lips were pressed to yours.

Feeling nervous, Pope began to speak. “I d-don’t want this to be awkward but I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while.”

You nodded your head, inching even closer to him. His lips looked a little chapped, but you were sure that it wouldn’t matter once you kissed him. 

“And I don’t know if you feel the same or if you -”

“Shut up, Pope,” you giggled before plunging forwards. You pressed your lips to his own, moving them and giving him a few seconds to respond. When he did you smiled a little before continuing what you were doing. Your arms reached up to hold his face while his arms brought you closer to him and positioned you between his legs. Pope’s thumb was drawing circles right at your waist, and you finally broke apart from him when the door of the shop opened.

You didn’t break eye contact with Pope, but a sudden loud whoop made you stumble away from each other. Spinning around you found JJ, John B, and a girl you recognized as a Kook standing before you. You were frozen in place as Pope headed over to them to cover up JJ’s lips. 

“Pope boy finally getting some action!” John B hollered while you felt your cheeks go red. The girl rolled her eyes at his friend before sending you an apologetic look.

It only took Pope three seconds to round them up and take them outside. You got back to working on the boat, trying to distract yourself from what had happened. You felt embarrassment rise up inside of you at being caught kissing the boy you liked.

Soon enough, Pope returned inside and stood next to you. You didn’t turn to look at him in shame and fear at what he might say.

“They wanted to see me since, you know, I haven’t been hanging around them recently.”

“Oh.” This was the moment Pope was going to tell you he didn’t want to be friends with you anymore and that he had now noticed how you were all too time-consuming. However, the boy surprised you.

“They invited us to hang out tomorrow. They said they want to meet you.”

You smiled and turned to look at him. “Really?”

“U-um, yeah. They kind of think you’re my girlfriend so…”

You blushed at that thought. Being Pope’s girlfriend was something that made your insides swell and feel light and soft and good. 

“Okay.”

“Okay as in ‘yes, I want to hang out with them’ or as in ‘yes, I want to be your girlfriend’?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”

Pope awkwardly nodded before looking at you. The smile on your face seemed to be glued on and Pope copied your facial expression. You leaned in again, kissing him softly.

“Take your guess, Pope,” you teased him while smiling. 

“I really hope it’s the second one.”

[teddystrap]

Drama CD: [幽幻ロマンチカ・真骨頂] ≁Karasutengu Hifumi・Baku Utashiro≁

Ok I know this is out of order (I skipped over the previous Hatenkou discs, which I will do later), but I reallllly adore the Shinkocchou concept. This came at the end of a HECTIC week, so to myself and any readers out there, I say a well-deserved: お疲（憑か）れ様でした！

In this disc - the first in this subtitle - Crow-Heavenly-Dog Hifumi and Dream-Eating Animal-Thing Utashiro team up to fight crime and save the Universe... of Nanagiri High School. 

Before I say anything else, first look at the hidden msgs (x2) in the tracklist: 

１．壱、都市伝説『すきま』 ２．弐、スイーツに囲<ま>れて ３．参、湧き出た<も>のは ４．四、陰<り>から立ちはだかる ５．伍、穏やかな夜だっ<た> ６．六、戦うなら<い>っしょに ７．七、都市伝説『すきま』看破 ８．キャストトーク

Hifumi: bold⋆ spells 「すきだから」 (’Because I like you...’)

Utashiro: <⋆> spells 「まもりたい」 (’...I want to protect you.’)

...

(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡ ) ｽﾍﾟｼｬﾙｳﾝｳﾝ

We also find out bits about each character's past - like how Hifumi had been cold and uncaring when he first mixed with the human world, and how he developed a taste for sweet foods because that's what people used to give him as offerings. AND how hilariously angry U-kun gets when people try to point out that deep down he's really just a softie/sweetie.

NB. The audio track is a bonus bit at the end of the final cast commentary track where the two of them do a hilarious 'Free Talk' in character.

*

[The First Rumour: Urban Legend ‘Sukima’]

Something's lurking in the cracks and corners of Nanagiri High School. So far five students have disappeared, starting with a girl in 1st year. Everyone is freaking the fuck out, and even the police have got involved, but this being a paranormal case ofc they are not going to find anything.

On the orders of Toilet Flower Dude (abbreviated TFD), Hifumi and Utashiro are investigating the urban legends to prevent them from destabilising the forces of the Supernatural Seven. And they have come to you for help - after all, youkai get their powers from the goodwill of humans. TFD has even coined a team name for the three of you: DARK DESTINY FAN CLUB. And ofc you are the leader, because vagina power.

As part of the investigation, first you all go to... the nearby cafe and eat cake. Because Marie Antoinette said so. Because apparently a couple from your school was attacked when they went on a date there.

Hifumi decides that you have to act like a couple to bait the monster into attacking you. (Except this is more like a 3P scenario and for some reason nobody finds that just a little bit odd...?) The two of them start feeding you and wiping extra cream off your face, and ofc you become all shy and resistant. So then both of them possess your body and start putting their lips on you to 'make you understand how the cake feels'. #mfw = (*>艸<)ｷｬｧｯ. (Not even kidding, I actually made this face when I was listening to this.)

You finally cannot put up with this treatment anymore, and when they stop, you pick up a chair and start hurling it at them. Damn girl u so hot when u maddd. So much for Battle Plan RaiseBloodSugar1. XD

Plan #2: Ya'll patrol the empty classrooms after school to look for clues. Eventually you find a ...fluffy/slimy-looking... monster consuming a 1st-year boy. When the three of you approach, the monster devours him whole and disappears.

You suggest using yourself as bait, with the both of them possessing your body to fight the monster in invisible mode. Sounds all fine and dandy... except their demon powers totally don't even work against this mochi-mochi monster!! After some failed attacks, Utashiro forms a protective shield to fend off the monster and allow Hifumi to fly you off to safety. (Such beautiful teamwork I could cry...)

Later Utashiro catches up to the two of you. It seems that the monster is so 'impenetrable' because it is feeding off the energy of some human somewhere, whose vulnerabilities it is exploiting. At this point you are still reeling from the narrow escape, so your two manservants boyfriends manservants decide to call it a day and escort you home.

Back home, you refuse to sleep, so the two of them dogpile you on your bed (is it just me or does that sound kinda dirty, sports fans? ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)). You request that they both change into their chibi forms and hug them to sleep. Hifumi doesn't mind at all but Utashiro hates it!! XD

Turns out you can't sleep because you are still terrified from the episode earlier. So they change back into their hot-guy forms and possess your body (because your bed is too small XD) and hold your hand and caress your head. After you finally fall asleep, the two of them commence the BL action pillow talk:

Utashiro is feeling down and blaming himself for not noticing your fear sooner. Hifumi is all like ‘I KNEW U WERE A SOFTIE U SEXY TSUNDERE’, but Utashiro tells him that all the other baku perished because they were forgotten by humans, and this is why he can't forgive and embrace humanity the way that Hifumi does.

As Hifumi correctly figures out, Utashiro is/was the Chief of the baku, even though he was not the most powerful nor the eldest. But Hifumi thinks it's enough that Utashiro did his best for his companions, just like *you* always do, you useless piece of sh... person!! I mean person!!. Hifumi trusts you even though you are a human, but Utashiro is unconvinced, since you never risked your life for him (the way you did for Hifumi)...

...Aaaand you wake up to the kinako-mochi monster in your room!!! Hifumi flies both of you out the window, but it's too heavy for him and he and he drops you both. Orz (well U-kun cushions your fall ofc b/c what are manservants for, amirite?). Meanwhile the monster has followed you out here and multiplied, so you all escape to the school grounds.

In the school gym, the monster and its spawns appear again, and Hifumi tries to fight them off, maxing out his energy much to Utashiro's alarm. Hifumi explains to Utashiro that he was born out of people's wishes,... and just when he was about to be forgotten, *you* appeared and gave him a new meaning to life. So he can't help but be fond of humanity and want to do his best for them.

You stop Hifumi from over-exerting himself, and volunteer to be swallowed alive by the monster so that ya'll can fight it from inside its stomach. Hifumi is all like ‘LET'S DO THIS LEADER >:)’, but Utashiro FREAKS THE FUCK OUT X( and offers to come with you, forming a protective shield to protect you. At some point he finally admits that it would be 'troubling' if something happened to you... This is about as much of a love confession as you’re ever gonna get here, so I'm savouring the fuck out of this line indefinitely <3.

Inside the monster's belly, you find... a girl that was eaten, and pull her into the safety of Utashiro's protective shield. The monster grows weak, and Hifumi uses this opportunity to blow it up into smithereens. All its spawns become inactive as well.

The girl turns out to be the aforementioned 1st-year who was the monster's first victim. She appears to be asleep, so Utashiro takes a peek into her dream: she is infatuated with a senpai, but too shy to talk to him, and can only watch him from afar. The pain of her unrequited love bore cracks in her heart, which the kinako mochi monster has exploited and subsisted on.

You ask Utashiro to change the contents of her dream from #badend to #goodend. As he does this, the cracks in her heart start to mend, and the monsters disappear. But ofc, changing her dream doesn't do much irl; she still needs to make her own happy ending.

Thus, peace is restored to Nanagiri High School!! >:D The five missing students are all found safely and soundly asleep in the school gym, and the first girl finally found the courage to speak to her senpai.

Hifumi teases Utashiro for risking his own life to protect you during Battle Plan MonsterBelly1, but Utashiro claims he only 'changed his mind a little bit about humans'.

But then Hifumi readily admits that he got to see both cool and uncool sides of you during this adventure, and it makes him like you more <3. Upon hearing this, Utashiro is all like ‘GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER’ and instructs you to stick with him so that he shall protect you from the Crow-Dog-Whatever that is *even more dangerous than any urban legend ever*! <333333

*

[Thoughts] OH WOW I got so used to the DiaLovers twisted personalities that I figured this was going to be like a Versus disc where they compete and fight with each other over you. But like I said, the teamwork/bromance is so beautiful it brings a tear to my eye :').

First of all, as KENN observes in his part of the Free Talk, this disc is kind of a parallel world where you are not strictly *romantic* with either of them. But at the same time both of them seem ok with some 曖昧さ (e.g. light touches/kisses) here and there. I guess it's less like a FB "it's complicated" situation, and more of youkai having some harmless fun with a human.

[cf. Remember how all the vampires stripped Yui down to her undergarments and bit her in all the embarrassing places, and she STILL thinks: 'They only see me as food T_T.' Yes that's totally non-suggestive, yes yes, carry on.]

Secondly, like Kimura-san notes, the two personalities make a striking contrast, and Utashiro seems *even more* tsundere than usual compared to Hifumi. But because Hifumi has one more disc than Utashiro, I think he's had more opportunities for character growth, so I'm optimistic about U-kun :)

I think between the two of them, Utashiro is the more mature and sensitive one - as shown by their hidden msgs, Hifumi's feelings lean more towards 'I like you'/displays of affection, whereas Utashiro is more about protecting you & supporting you emotionally.

Hifumi has a more impulsive/careless personality; sometimes he misses little details, and he's ready to take risks if you are. In that regard I think they counterbalance each other quite well, Utashiro talks sense and 'anchors' the situation; Hifumi brings the positivity and the momentum.

Using the two roles of the manzai (traditional Japanese standup-comedy) for analogy, U-kun is the 'straight man' who provides the tsukkomi, and Hifumi is the boke or the one with all the gags.

...Also it just occurred to me how most of the time the tsundere role is either like a younger/spoiled brat type, or a kichiku megane (à la Sakamaki Reiji). Utashiro is kind of like a... tsundere-oniisan? XD Not sure if that's a type, but in any case it’s kinda refreshing, plus he's precious and I love him :3

NB1. KENN's chibi voice is THE BEST. X3

NB2. I wonder what trousers (「なっちゃうパンツ」) Kimura-san was wearing in the recording studio on his dates with 'Dummyko-chan' - which is what he calls the dummy-head mic XD. Now, I'm not sure about this, but there is a good chance that he's the one who came up with the worst nickname in the entire universe 'M-neko-chan'...  

[eau-duresistance]

BNHA Headcanons bc I’m bored: teachers edition

General:

Every year, the teachers have an end of the year party. It’s kinda like a holiday party in that it’s formal, but it’s still wild. They also have an awards ceremony hosted by Mic, with all of the awards made up by him

Midnight has won “Horniest Teacher” 3 years in a row. It would have been 4, but Washer got a significant other last year and they have NOT shut up about it

Aizawa is a shoe-in for “Most Students Expelled” but during the year of Class 1-A, he wins “Best Class Dad”

All Might wins “Most and Also Simultaneously Least Improved”

Mic awards himself “Best Commentator Because I Do What I Want”

There’s also a Secret Santa amongst the teachers. The task of running it changes from person to person, but whomever it is, they always make sure Mic or Midnight buys Aizawa’s gift. He never complains, but no one knows what to buy him, and they usually end up buying it anyways

The teachers DEFINITELY shit-talk the students

Also, most of them LIVE for the drama. Especially Midnight and Mic. Snipe is oddly involved, and always has random details.

Since they’re also pro heroes, the teachers like to jokingly compare their stats. Because of their status as inactive, they’re not actually on the hero stat list, y’know, since they’re teachers, but they still do it. 

Except All Might. He doesn’t like bragging and so when they were playing the game he just kinda witnessed. Someone asked him jokingly after the Kamino incident and he replied with “Well it was #1 for like, ten years running. But now it’s zero. Not too shabby.”

Aizawa and Mic got married shortly after they both became teachers (about 5 or so years before canon proper). The entire staff was invited and so everyone knows, but they’re really private about it. They don’t really wear their rings at school bc Aizawa does NOT want people poking into his personal life, and Mic respects that.

Also: Tensei Iida was in their class and he was in the wedding party, so he brought Tenya along. He’s the only one outside of the staff at UA that knows, but he doesn’t know this, and just assumes everyone else is aware of their marriage

Also also: Miss Joke is actually good friends with Mic and Aizawa so she was also at the wedding and is very well aware of Aizawa’s privacy, which is exactly why she continuously asks to marry him – he wants to reply with “you know I have a husband, you were at the wedding” but he can’t

All Might:

He’s not an amazing teacher because he doesn’t have a quirk anymore, nor does he have a very helpful expereince because he’s a powerhouse, but he’s very well-liked by the students

He acts as the guidance counselor, mostly. He’s very emotionally competent and helpful

He also becomes head of the Media department – he and Midnight are the go-tos for any media related classes. 

He’s also AMAZING at coming up with hero names. Like, he just shoots them off like it’s nothing and they’re all gold

it’s because he pays attention

He gives every student a personalized card on their birthday. Every. Single. Student

He’s seen as the Face of UA, even tho he’s no longer in active duty.

Before Kamino, since it’s canon that All Might and Toshinori Yagi were publicly regarded as different people, he would do his own thing in his weakened form between classes

many students saw him like this and thought he was just another staff worker, because everyone else was really chill around him. They realized after Kamino

Toshinori Yagi and All Might are more or less seen as different people by the students – All Might is the larger than life hero, but Toshinori Yagi is their dorky teacher

Drinks a ton of tea

All Dad jokes all the time

Loves buying snacks for students and will 100% let them eat in class

Aizawa:

Lets you eat in class, but only if you have a good reason, and if it’s not distracting

He loves assigning opinion papers because he enjoys seeing the logic behind it. You can actually get a really good mark in his class bc he’s willing to agree to anything if there’s decent logic backing your argument up

Aizawa is very close with Shinshou and doesn’t really like to admit it because it’s technically favouritism and also illogical. But he sees a lot of himself in Shinshou and he’s just reminded of how hard hero classes were for him.

It’s actually canon that Aizawa has a frequent visitor’s card to a cat café. Mic is actually allergic to cats (like, badly) so they can’t have any at the apartment, but Aizawa takes Eri to the café a lot

Also yes, Eri is living with Aizawa and Mic. When she turns 10, they legally adopt her

So much coffee all the time

He’s a hypersomniac – basically he sleeps all the time and he can never get enough sleep. He’s not like, depressed or anything, he just really likes sleep.

He can’t drive. This is actually the main reason why Mic and Aizawa finally moved in together after dating for years – so Mic could drive Aizawa to work every day. When he doesn’t, Midnight drives

Present Mic

Lets you eat whatever the hell you want in class. The students have an ongoing contest to see what they can bring in without him getting mad

kaminari holds the record with a panini maker

If he thinks it’s funny, he’ll let you get away with it

He’s that super chill English teacher that always cuts you slack and offers extra credit, but he’s a CRAZY hard marker

Speaks four languages: Japanese, English, Inuktitut (language of the Inuit), and Cantonese

Present Mic actually travels a TON, the only person who has him beat for travelling is All Might. He goes on a vacation at least once a year, and he has a map in his house that’s marked to every place he’s been

Aizawa sometimes comes, it depends on the trip. He’s fine staying home

Will grade papers while doing his radio show. He has a segment called “Why the Hell Did I Decide To Be An English Teacher” where he reads absolutely butchered essays and cries about it.

He’s a night owl and never has enough sleep

Regularly mixes coffee and energy drinks

Mic’s sister married an Inuit woman who just did not like him. In an effort to impress her, he learned her native language. Now they shit-talk in Inuktitut

100% the teacher that makes songs up about grammar

Actually has a really nice singing voice, but he’s more about radio biz

KILLER at karaoke

Midnight

Lets you eat in class if you bring her something

She has a very strong stance on hero costumes – they should be practical and comfortable. She loves her hero costume (while she wishes it was a tad more exposing for ease, she’s happy with it) and is a strong advocate for practical but appealing costumes

Momo comes to her one day to talk about how she’s embarrassed when her clothes get torn off in public by her quirk, and if she should just accept it

Midnight immediately gets her a different designer. Same with Hagakure – you cannot have someone running around naked or close to it in battle. It’s not safe.

Very energetic, people love her classes

She’s understanding of problems like social anxiety and body issues, so she offers private sessions to work on public image

Strangely intuitive. Like she’ll make a choice for the student that seems insane but works out swimmingly

Hot chocolate kinda gal

Secretly loves girly things, but she’s a little embarrassed about it because of her mature image

She and Mt. Lady are actually friends. They tend to butt heads, specially in interviews, but they work weirdly well together

Easy marker

ok I’ll come up with more later lmao hmu if you want something specific. I wanna do ships later

[angelavengedinspo-blog]

Any of the Shadowhunters he knew back in New York would have dealt with the situation without blinking an eye. He was sure Isabelle would have cut off the possum’s head with a sword. But now he was surrounded by people who panicked and screamed and stood on stools, flailing disasters of human beings who could not cope with a single rodent, and Simon was one of them. They were all just normal kids. It was such a relief, Simon felt dizzy with it. Or maybe that was because he’d hit his head. 

-----------

But he did think he remembered Isabelle, Jace, and Alec saying some sketchy things about mundanes, now and then. Isabelle, Jace, and Alec weren’t so bad. It was just the way they were brought up: They didn’t mean what it seemed like they meant. Simon was pretty sure. 

------------

And he remembered Isabelle, her dark hair flowing over his pillow, her throat bared to him, her toenails scratching his leg, like a sexy vampire movie aside from the bit about the toenails. The other Simon had been not only a hero but a lady-killer. Well, more of a lady-killer than Simon was now. Isabelle. Simon’s mouth moved to form the shape of her name, pressing it into his pillow. He’d told himself he wasn’t going to think about her, not until he was really getting somewhere in the Academy. Not until he was on his way to being better, being the person she wanted him to be.

-------------------

“No!” said Simon. “I can’t stress that enough. I’ve bitten several Shadowhunters. I bit Isabelle Lightwood and Alec Lightwood; biting Jace was not a tender and unique moment!” “You bit Isabelle and Alec Lightwood?!” asked Julie, who was starting to sound freaked-out. “What did the Lightwoods ever do to you?” “Wow,” said George. “I imagined the demon realms were fearsome and terrifying, but seems like it was pretty much nonstop nom nom nom.” “That is not how it was!” Simon said.

---------------

“—despite her tender years, a Shadowhunter of some renown and noted expertise with less-used weapons such as the whip. May I welcome to Shadowhunter Academy our first guest lecturer: Isabelle Lightwood!” Isabelle turned, sleek black hair flaring around her shoulders and black skirt flaring around her pale legs. She was wearing glittery plum lipstick, so dark it looked almost black. Her eyes did look black, but another small knife of memory pierced Simon, of course at the worst time possible: He remembered the colors of her eyes from close up, very dark brown, like brown velvet, so close to black as to make no difference, but with paler rings of color. . . . He stumbled over to his desk, and folded into his chair with a thump.

...

When the dean left, Isabelle turned and regarded her class with absolute contempt. “I am not actually here to instruct any of you idiots,” she told them, walking up and down the rows of desks. “If you want to use a whip, train with one, and if you lose an ear, don’t be a big whiny baby.” Several of the boys nodded, as if hypnotized. Almost all the boys were watching Isabelle as if they were a nest of snakes intent on being charmed. Some of the girls were watching her that way too. “I am here,” Isabelle announced, finishing her prowl of the perimeter and turning to face them all again with snapping eyes, “to determine my relationship.” Simon goggled. She couldn’t be talking about him. Could she?

“Do you see that man?” Isabelle asked, pointing at Simon. Apparently she was talking about him. “That’s Simon Lewis, and he is my boyfriend. So if any of you think about trying to hurt him because he’s a mundie or—may the Angel have mercy on your soul—pursuing him romantically, I will come after you, I will hunt you down, and I will crush you to powder.”

“We’re just bros,” said George hastily. Beatriz edged her desk away from Simon’s. Isabelle lowered her hand. The flush of excitement was receding from her face as well, as though she had come to say what she had said, and now that she was out of adrenaline she was actually processing what had come out of her mouth. “I am going to go now,” Isabelle announced. “Thank you for your attention. Class dismissed.” She turned and walked out of the room. “I have to—” Simon began, rising from his desk on legs that felt a little unsteady. “I have to go.” “Yeah, you do,” George said. Simon went out the door, and ran down the stone corridors of the Academy. He knew Isabelle was fast, so he ran, faster than he’d ever run on the training grounds, and he caught up to her in the hall. She stopped in the dim light of the stained-glass window as he called her name. “Isabelle!” She stood waiting for him. Her lips parted and gleamed, like plums under a winter frost, ready to be tasted. Simon could see himself running up to her, catching her in his arms, and kissing her mouth, knowing what it had taken for her to do that—his brave, brilliant Isabelle—and carried away in a whirl of love and joy, but he saw it as if through a pane of glass, as if looking into another dimension, one he could see but not quite touch. Simon felt a hot pang of grief through his whole body, not just through his chest, as if he had been struck by lightning. But he had to say it. “I’m not your boyfriend, Isabelle,” he called out. She went white. Simon was horrified by how badly his words had come out. “I mean, I can’t be your boyfriend, Isabelle,” he said. “I’m not him—that guy who was your boyfriend. That guy you want.” He almost said: I wish I could be. He had wished he could be. That was why he had come to the Academy, to learn how to be that guy they all wanted back. He’d wanted to be that way, be an awesome hero like in a game or a movie. He’d been so sure, at first, that was what he wanted. Except wishing he could be that guy was like wishing to obliterate the guy he was now: the normal, happy guy in a band, who could still love his mother, who did not wake up in the coldest, darkest hour of the night weeping for dead friends. And he did not know if he could be that guy she wanted, whether he wished it or not. “You remember everything, and I—I don’t remember enough,” Simon went on. “I hurt you when I don’t mean to, and I thought I could come to the Academy and come back better, but it’s not looking good. The whole game has changed. My skill level has decreased and the difficulty level has been jacked up to impossible—” “Simon,” Isabelle interrupted, “you’re talking like a nerd.” She said it almost fondly, but it freaked Simon out more. “And I don’t know how to be smooth, sexy vampire Simon for you, either!” Isabelle’s perfect mouth curved, like a dark half-moon in her pale face. “You were never that smooth, Simon.” “Oh,” said Simon. “Oh, thank God. I know you’ve had a lot of boyfriends. I remember there was a faerie, and”—another flash of memory, this time most unwelcome—“a . . . Lord Montgomery? You dated a member of the nobility? How am I ever going to compete with that?” Isabelle still looked fond, but it was diluted with a good deal of impatience. “You’re Lord Montgomery, Simon!” “I don’t understand,” said Simon. “When you’re made a vampire, are you also given a title?” Maybe that made sense. Vampires were aristocratic. Isabelle put her fingers up to touch her brow. It was a gesture that seemed like disdainful weariness, like Isabelle was tired of all this, but Simon saw the way her eyes closed, as if she could not look at him when she spoke. “It was just a joke between you and me, Simon.” Simon was tired of all this: of knowing pieces of her so well and others not at all, of knowing he was not what she wanted. “No,” he said. “It was a joke between you and him.” “You are him, Simon!” “I’m not,” Simon told her. “I don’t—I don’t know how to be, that’s what I’ve been realizing all this time. I thought I could learn to be him, but since I got to the Academy I learned that I can’t. I can’t experience everything we did over again. I’m never going to be the guy who did all that. I’m going to do different things. I’m going to be a different guy.” “Once you Ascend, you’ll get all your memories back!” Isabelle shouted at him. “If I Ascend, it will be in two years. I’m not going to be the same guy in two years, even if I do get all the memories back, because there will be so many other memories. You’re not going to be the same girl. I know you believed in me, Isabelle, I know you believed because you—you cared about him. That means more than I can tell you. But, Isabelle, Isabelle, it isn’t fair of me to take advantage of your belief. It isn’t fair to keep you waiting for him, when he isn’t ever coming back.”

Isabelle had her arms crossed, fingers curled into the dark plum velvet of her own jacket as if she was offering herself comfort. “None of this is fair. It isn’t fair that part of your life was ripped from you. It’s not fair that you were ripped away from me. I’m so angry, Simon.”

Simon took a step toward her and took one of her hands, uncurling her fingers from her jacket. He did not take her in his arms but he stood a little distance away from her, their hands linked across the distance. Her trembling mouth sparkled, and so did her eyelashes. He did not know if this was indomitable Isabelle crying, or whether it was sparkly mascara. All he knew was that she shone, like a constellation in the shape of a girl. “Isabelle,” he said. “Isabelle.” She was so much herself, and he had scarcely any idea who he was. “Do you know why you’re here?” she demanded. He just looked at her. There were so many things that question could mean, and so many ways to answer. “I mean at the Academy,” she said. “Do you know why you want to be a Shadowhunter?” He hesitated. “I wanted to be that guy again,” he said. “That hero that you all remember . . . and this seems like a training school for heroes.” “It’s not,” Isabelle said flatly. “It’s a training school for Shadowhunters. And yeah, I think that’s a pretty cool thing, and yeah, I think protecting the world is pretty heroic. But there are cowardly Shadowhunters and evil Shadowhunters and hopeless Shadowhunters. If you’re going to get through the Academy, you have to figure out why you want to be a Shadowhunter and what that means to you, Simon. Not just why you want to be special.” He winced, but it was true. “You’re right. I don’t know. I know that I want to be here. I know I need to be here. Believe me, if you’d seen the bathrooms, you’d know I didn’t make this decision lightly.” She gave him a withering look. “But,” he said, “I don’t know why. I don’t know myself well enough yet. I know what I said to you, at first, and I know what you hoped. That I could turn back into who I was before. I was really wrong and I am really sorry.”

“Sorry?” Isabelle demanded. “Do you know what a big deal it was for me to come here, to make a fool of myself in front of all these people? Do you know—of course you don’t. You don’t want me to believe in you? You don’t want me to choose you?”

Isabelle pulled her hands away from him, turned her face away as she had in the garden of the Institute that was her home. This time Simon knew it was absolutely his fault. She was already leaving as she said: “Have it your way, Simon Lewis. I won’t.” 

[genewolf]

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[bughead-is-riverdale]

Riverdale Imagine: The Playbook (Jason x Reader)

Requested by @pottersnitch : Could you please write something about Jason Blossom? Like he and the reader are dating and then she finds out about the playbook and have a huge fight but make up because of Cheryl.

 A/N: I had to type this up on my phone so there may be some spelling errors and I couldn't put anything in bold/italics so I'll edit it on my computer and add it to my masterlist when I get home from holiday. 

Approx. 2200 words 

As you rolled over in bed, the nausea you had been experiencing throughout the day threatened to resurface. You groaned and clutched at your empty stomach, it churned as if it was filled with a nest of slimy eels. You were drenched in sweat from fever, you knew that your bedroom was cold because it was the middle of winter and you could see the cloud of your breath escaping from your chapped lips as you exhaled, but the sickness-bug had trapped you in a permanent humidity. At some point during the day, you had even opened your bedroom window, and frost was beginning to creep onto the window sill. Hearing a gentle knock on your door, you forced yourself into a sitting-position, resting on a mountain of cushions. 

"Come in" you called weakly. 

"How's the patient?" you heard your favourite voice tease. You felt a smile spread across your face as a familiar red-haired boy peered around your door, his brown eyes regarding you with concern, making your heart flutter involuntarily. The few months that you and Jason had been together had felt like a dream. You had been pining after him for the majority of your high-school life, and you still couldn't quite believe that he was yours. As he almost glided into your room and cautiously sat down on the edge of your bed, a lock of his silky hair fell onto his forehead and you couldn't help but think that he was beautiful. He didn't have Archie's muscular frame, or Reggie's charming smile, but somehow he was much more attractive than any of the other boys at school. He looked delicate, like a porcelain doll with his pale complexion and angular features, and his muscle was lean and wiry, clinging to his lanky frame. He was just as strong as any other boy on the football team though, he would always carry you around at any opportunity, gathering you up like a princess in his arms. You watched in fascination as his long white fingers danced over the skin of your arm, the sensation of his touch sending what felt like an electric current through your body. You wondered if you would ever get used to this, or would his touch always make your heart lurch. Suddenly, his concerned expression turned into one of disapproval as his attention was caught by the open window, he frowned. 

"Y/N! No wonder you're ill, it's like Narnia in here!" Jason groaned, hastily closing your window. 

"No JJ!" you wined, "I'm too hot!" He sighed and opened the window again, but only slightly. 

"I brought you some ginger tea" he said proudly, pulling an enormous flask from his school bag, smiling like a child who had received a gold star. "It's supposed to help with nausea." You groaned internally. Your mum had practically been force-feeding you ginger tea for two days and you weren't sure how much more you could take. You smiled graciously at Jason though, it's the though that counts after all, you could always pour it down the sink later. 

"Thanks babe, that's so sweet of you" you enthused. "Also, could I possibly borrow your English book so I can catch up on today's notes?" He quickly dug through his bag and handed you the typical dark-green notebook that everyone used for English, before checking the time and muttering something about extra football practice. He leant towards you and kissed you sweetly on the cheek, his long lashes brushed your temple and his warm breath on your skin made your cheeks blush pink. He smelled like pine-wood and maple syrup and you wondered if you would ever stop loving this boy, you thought it was unlikely.

Later that evening, after you had subtly got rid of the abundance of ginger tea and successfully kept down some plain pasta, you unwillingly sat down at your desk and opened Jason's English book. Except, it wasn't his English book. The inside cover was entitled 'The Playbook' and the names of all the boy on the football team were written in block capitals, including Jason's. Assuming that it was a notebook that the team used to keep track of points scored during games, or fitness progress, you turned a few of the pages curiously. As you scanned a couple of pages however, a cold feeling began to spread through your body, it was as of the temperature in the room had suddenly plummeted. The boys weren't keeping track of their football progress at all, they were recording their sexual 'conquests'. Your heart began to thump forcefully in your chest as you flipped through the pages with shaking hands, anxious to discover if Jason's 'conquests' had also been recorded, and if you were among them. As you turned the next page, the paper slipping through your frozen fingers, you wanted to throw up at what you saw. 'JASON BLOSSOM' was written across the top of the page in typical untidy boyish scrawl, that wasn't what horrified you though. Under the names of Jason's ex-girlfriends and hook-ups read: 

Y/N Y/L/N - 8/10 points for appearance, 10 points for being a virgin (extra 10 points when you take her virginity), but lose 5 points for feelings

You could have sworn that you felt your heart crack. The boy you had been in love with for years was only dating you so he could record you in some stupid playbook, so he could compete with his friends. Had he been planning to just dump you once he had taken your virginity? To collect his points and move onto the next girl? Your eyes stung with tears and you gritted your teeth in anger, you would not cry over this, you promised yourself. Instead, you took careful photos of each page in 'The Playbook' and texted them to both your best-friends, Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge, with a quick explanation as to what you had discovered. 

BC: What the fuck is this? Xx 

VL: Chuck is going down if he ever thought he could 'score' me in some fucking book!! Xx  

A cold smile spread across your features as you were suddenly hit with how to expose the football team and break up with Jason at exactly the same time. 

Y/N: Alright girls, we're going to put on a little show xx

"I can't believe how many times I've been recorded in this stupid book" Veronica seethed, her perfectly manicured nails digging into the book's dark-green cover. "Half of these have just been made up, I never made out with Reggie at the Christmas party." 

"It's irrelevant whether it's true or not, Ronnie" Betty cautioned, "the book just shouldn't exist." 

"As for Jason" Veronica continued in an alarmingly threatening voice, "I'm going to rip his balls out from under him with -" 

"Talk of the devil" you muttered, watching your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend saunter down the hall with at least half of the football team. Perfect. His chocolate-brown eyes lit up when he saw you and he jogged over to where you were standing by the lockers, his red hair ruffled slightly. Normally, the sight of him made your heart warm, but right now all you wanted to do was punch his beautiful face. 

"Hey babe, are you feeling better?" Jason asked sweetly, his head cocking to one side like an adorable puppy, a strand of his ginger hair fell over his eyes. You resisted the urge to push it out of his face, clenching your hands by your sides and staring at him coldly instead. 

"Yes, last night I began to feel a lot better" you began, he frowned slightly at the monotonous tone you were using. "But then I read this." Veronica handed you 'The Playbook' and you waved it accusingly in Jason's face. You watched as his expression faltered, his cheeks drained of colour and his eyes widened. "I suppose you know what this is?" 

"Y/N, I can explain -" he stammered. 

"Actually" you interrupted, "I think the book is pretty self-explanatory don't you think?" 

You were beginning to attract people's attention now. Teenagers who were previously engrossed in their phones, or engaged in conversation, were suddenly drawn into the confrontation by the lockers. 

"Hey Josie!" You called out to the lead singer of 'The Pussycats', "did you know that Reggie won a whole ten points for kissing you at a party? You're quite a catch, huh? And Val" you continued, turning to the curly-haired girl, "Archie got five points for cheating on you with Cheryl. Didn't you know that? Because it's all recorded in this book." You smiled sweetly at Archie, who was standing just behind Jason, he appeared to be turning a slight green colour and he flashed a guilty look at Val before she stalked down the corridor. 

"For anyone who wants to read 'The Playbook'" Betty chimed in, "I've published a copy in the Blue and Gold, there is a stack of papers in every classroom." There was a moment of silence, and then the room exploded. Students ran towards the closest classroom in order to snatch up a copy of the football team's crime. Jason didn't move though, he was still staring at you with the same pained expression. 

"Y/N, please can we talk about this?" he begged, clearly sensing the unforgiving anger that was radiating off you in waves. 

"There is nothing to talk about" you hissed, trying to hide the hurt in your voice. 

"Please, I'm sorry -" 

"I don't want your meaningless apologies. All I ever was to you was some casual hook-up, a method in which to win a game with your friends" you were almost shouting now. 

"That's not true! I didn't write you into that book!" he answered back, his voice rising too. 

"No, but you told them about us! You let them turn me into a fucking points-system!" 

"I'm sorry, I'll make this up to you. How do I make this better between us? I'll do anything." his voice had dropped to a whisper. 

"You can't do anything except leave me alone. Don't ever speak to me again." The tears you had been holding back spilled from your eyes as you watched Jason's lip quiver, he was shaking his head. Before he had the chance to say anything else, you turned and ran down the corridor, Veronica and Betty following close behind. 

The air was filled with exited chatter, and the scent of sweat and perfume was overwhelming. Music blared, colourful lights flashed, and people huddled in groups, gossiping and dancing. The Blossoms' annual end-of-school party was always one of the most anticipated events in Riverdale, you couldn't quite believe that you had received an invitation after what had happened between you an Jason six months ago. As your anger about 'The Playbook' situation had faded, you couldn't help but feel slightly hollow inside, like something was missing. Despite the fact that several guys had asked you out since the break-up, you didn't feel as though you could accept. As much as you hated to admit it, you were still hung up on Jason. Although Betty understood - she had been in love with Archie for years before Jughead came along and swept her off her feet - Veronica was much less forgiving, encouraging you to 'play the field, assuring you that Jason had probably hooked up with multiple girls since. Although, you hadn't seen any evidence of it. 

"Y/N! Oh my God you came!" You spun around, wobbling slightly on your heels, and widened your eyes at the sight of Cheryl Blossom beaming at you. You had spoken to Cheryl a few times when you had been dating Jason, but definitely not since. You narrowed your eyes slightly in suspicion as Cheryl brought you in for a tight hug. 

"Uh, hi Cheryl. Nice party" you mumbled, still in shock. 

"Of course!" she chimed, then her voice dropped to a whisper. "I really need to talk to you, come with me." Before you could object, she was dragging you upstairs. "JJ is still really messed up about your break-up, he won't even come down for the party!" She pouted, clearly disapproving of her brother's stubbornness. 

"I seriously doubt that" you muttered. 

"You two ended things really badly and he didn't get the chance to properly apologise" she scolded, making you feel as though everything was your fault. "Besides, you have been ignoring his calls." You scowled at her, you had every right to ignore him. You were so busy glaring at Cheryl that you didn't notice where she was taking you. She pushed you gently into one of the numerous rooms that Thornhill consisted of and closed the door behind you with a click. You realised that she had led, or rather trapped, you into Jason's room. Although you had never been there, you recognised the posters of his favourite football team on the walls. As you turned around, your heart began to flutter and your cheeks reddened at the sight of Jason, standing awkwardly next to his bed, fidgeting with his bedcovers. He didn't look surprised to see you, only nervous. 

"Hi" he whispered softly. 

"Hi" you breathed. 

TAGLIST: @kelly27crickett @cjhorseback @rory-is-in-ravenclaw @littlefearsdoodles @happyyjensen @dr-tardis-who

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Sixteen

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!

***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***

Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (FYI this is total fiction, as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. Because of this, for this work of fiction, they don’t exist. Jeffrey’s been a typical actor playboy dating fellow stars etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Aria St. James is a busy woman with a thriving restaurant. She thought she had everything she needed until a few famous faces visit her dining room. A tall, dark and handsome actor decides Aria’s just what he’s been looking for.

Rating: Mature : NSFW

"Okay so I have a confession." Aria stated, her finger swirling a pattern-less trail on his chest. Jeffrey hummed deeply, his hooded eyes meeting hers while sliding a hand up her nude back. "Is this gonna be your veto story?" He asked with a crooked grin. 

Smacking his chest, she giggled and shushed him. "Noooo. Do you want to hear it or what?" "Fine, fine. Don't mind me, I'm all ears my dear." Snorting, Aria commented, "smartass." Wrinkling his nose adorably, he urged. "Tell me." "I've seen some of your movies and you freaked me the fuck out in the Resident and I hated your guts after the pool table scene in Watchmen." Jeffrey couldn't contain the bark of laughter as he clutched her tighter. "Doll, that both hurts and flatters me." Laughing with him, she continued, "And I cried like a fucking baby when you died in Grey’s." Cupping her face, he pulled her up and kissed her softly, his lips pulling at hers. "I'm sorry I upset you, baby.” "Shush." She smirked, her cheeks heating. "Is it weird being with me?" Rolling her eyes she replied, "No. I mean when I first met you, I thought of those roles but I detached them from you after speaking for that little bit." "That's good. I don't want you thinking I'm some psychopath." Giggling, she replied, "Oh I do, I just don't mind. The sex is too good to walk away from." Chuckling deeply, Jeffrey cupped her head and kissed her forehead. His voice was gruff and deep, the sound vibrating under her. "Happy to please darlin'. Happy to please." They were quiet, both reveling in the softness of the bed and each other. Aria nuzzled into his side and stretched out along his body, enjoying the warm he generated. “You fit good.” Jeffrey muttered, his arm wrapping her waist and cupping her head. “Your little curves fillin’ every space.” Smiling, she tilted her head up to see him smiling down at her. Kissing his palm, she replied, “happy to please.”

Jeffrey had a huge favor to ask Aria and he wasn't sure how she would take it. He'd been invited to be on the cooking show similar to iron chef. Two competing chefs cooking to win money for different charities, each chef had a few stars putting up money for the charities. One chef dropped out last minute leaving the show hanging and close to being put on hiatus. It wouldn't have been such a big deal but a group of Walking Dead fans had been invited to watch, all of which were make a wish kids. Jeffrey did not want them to be disappointed so he told the producer to give him the afternoon to butter up a close personal friend who happened to be a chef. He wasn't too sure how Aria felt about being on television but with her reaction to just a press release regarding their relationship weeks ago, he wasn’t too hopeful she’d agree. Jeffrey did know she was a giving person who often donated to local shelters and homeless youth programs. He hoped she would be just as generous to some sick kids. Walking into the restaurant he received a wave from Cheryl who pointed to the back of the dining area to see Aria sitting with a man in a sharp suit. Narrowing his eyes slightly, Jeffrey sauntered towards them. Jealousy wasn't something he ever felt, maybe he had a big ego but he didn't often feel envious of others. The man chatting up Aria however, had a gleam in his eye and a smirk on his lips which had Jeffrey's jaw tightening and eyes hardening. Sliding his sunglasses on top of his head, he cleared his throat softly and caught Aria's attention while throwing her a wink. 

"Jeff." She spoke with a bright grin, standing up to greet him. Kissing him chastely, she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a pleasant hug. All feelings of unease melted away as she was so openly affectionate in front of the stranger. "Hey sweetpea." He rasped, kissing the crown of her head while wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "This is Kevin, he's an investor and developer. We were just talking about a few opportunities in the near future. Kevin this is my boyfriend, Jeff." "Nice to meet you." Jeffrey stuck his hand out and flashed him a knowing smile, the polished blonde covering his distaste for the change in the situation. "Yeah, you too. I recognize you from a few of your movies. You're very talented Mr. Morgan." "Just call me Jeff and thanks, man. Always appreciate a fan." He replied with a wink, his dimples deepening as the man's cheek twitched in irritation. "So what're you doing here, I thought you were starting to film that show?" "Well I'm actually here to talk to you about an opportunity also. You have some time?" "Of course, yeah. Kevin if you're okay calling it a day. I'm glad you came by, let me go over all the numbers, see if it's a fit for us." "Just remember what I told you Ari. We've known each other a long time and you know I won't lead you wrong." Jeffrey smirked at the man's prods towards him, his eyes twinkling. Placing a hand on Aria's lower back, he slid his fingers along her waist to hold her hip. He knew he was being an alpha male fuck but he couldn't help himself. The look of indignation on the slick suited creep was far too enjoyable to stop the cocky gesture. "Of course," Aria spoke as though oblivious to the men flashing their tail feathers. "I'll get back to you by Monday." Rising from the booth, Kevin shook Aria’s hand and gave Jeffrey a nod. "Good to meet you." "Likewise Kenneth." Jeffrey drawled, mistaking his name on purpose with a smirk. "Kevin." "Right, Kevin. Thanks for comin' in to visit." Watching him leave, Jeffrey felt Aria looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "You done pissing all over my dining room?” Barking out a laugh, Jeffrey shrugged his wide shoulders lazily. "What? I couldn't help myself. That needle dick fuck wants in your teeny, tiny panties and no one and I mean no one, goes near those cock teasing things except me." Aria smirked at him as they took a seat in the booth, Jeffrey sitting right next to her instead of Kevin's spot. "You have no reason to be jealous." "I'm not jealous." "Yes you were." "Maybe a little but I'm not now. He is not your type at all." "What's my type?" Rolling his eyes, he peered down at her and rasped, "you like tall, sexy older men. Successful, devastatingly charming and dimples. You need dimples." Biting her lip, Aria murmured, "you forgot foul mouthed and exceptional in bed." Slowly smiling at her, Jeffrey leaned in close and kissed her neck. "I wanna fucking bend you over one of these tables and take that kitten in front of all these people." "Fuck, Jeff." She whined under her breath, "don't start something we can't finish." "Oh I can finish you doll." "Stop." She laughed, smacking his chest. Jeffrey grinned at her, licking his lip and saying, "I can't help it. You're so damn beautiful." "Okay player. What're you doing here? What opportunity?" "Alright doll, keep an open mind." "Oh god. This sounds terrible already." "Easy baby. Easy." He laughed, tucking hair behind her ear. "The show I was supposed to film hit some snags." "It's the cooking one right?" "Yeah. One of the chefs dropped out." At that, Aria narrowed her eyes and seemed to figure out where the conversation was going. Placing a finger on her lips to hold back her words, Jeffrey explained. "Hear me out. The proceeds go to charity and there's a group of kids from Make a Wish coming, their fans of the show. Norman's on the other team and I can't let the little fuck win. He's rooting for a Julio Santiago from El Perez." Pulling his hand away, Aria exclaimed, "Fuck, I'd cook against Santiago? You'll lose your money." "One, if I do, it goes to charity. Two, you won't lose, you're amazing." Sighing, Aria scrubbed her eyes and asked, "When?" "Filming can be pushed back a few days but.." "Jesus. That's no time to prepare!" Aria exclaimed, her eyes wide.  "I can't just go on with no plan." "I have faith in you." "Fucking hell." She sighed, looking towards the kitchen in thought. "Have whoever is doing this call me. I need to know everything, the rules or whatever. Now I gotta go talk Javie into it because he is my only hope at pulling this off." "I ever tell you how amazing you are?" "Suck up." "Is it working?" "Obviously. I just agreed to do something I would never do because of a guy I lo- like." She stuttered over the word which had Jeffrey's eyebrows raised and a knowing smirk curling his lips. "You lo-like huh?" Her cheeks turned a delicious shade of pink which had his dick twitching and eyes darkening. It was so similar to the shade that would paint her chest while cumming below him. Jeffrey now knew she felt the same way he did, there was no need to hesitate telling her any longer. "Stop." She whispered, her nervous eyes flicking away. Leaning closer, Jeffrey dipped his head into the curve of her neck and kissed her sweetly. Dragging his whisker covered face up her neck to kiss behind her ear, Jeffrey murmured, "I love you to sweetpea." Pulling back she peered up at him, her caramel colored eyes widening slightly at his expression. Cocking his head to the side, he bite his lip and smirked at her. "Don't look so surprised." Curling her hand in his t-shirt she pulled his lips to hers, breathing the words into his mouth. "I love you, Jeff." "So this mean you're gonna do it?" "Yeah I suppose I've got too now." "I didn't tell you to grease the wheels." "I know." She replied, her lips quirking to the side. "Me neither." Snorting he asked, "what do you need from me?" "Megan is getting married, her man child finally popped the question." Chuckling, Jeffrey cocked an eyebrow. "And?" "There's an engagement party at her parents place in Vermont. It'll be hoity toity bullshit and I need you to keep me from losing my mind while her mother talks about how I'm basically hired help because I cook for a living." "Seriously?" He scoffed, his brow furrowed. "Yeah it's pretty fucking awesome, so maybe if I bring a successful man with me, she'll stop shitting on me and calling it "motherly advise." Jeffrey scowled at that and grumbled, "you don't need some fucking man to make you successful." "No shit but in her eyes I do. I don't really care, it's just exhausting to stop myself from saying something horribly inappropriate. I need a buffer." "Well say no more, I'll buff you baby." "I bet you will." Wrinkling his nose, Jeffrey smiled at her, his hand gripping her thigh. "When are you done tonight? I gotta thank you proper for doing me a huge favor." "You're doing me a favor too." "Still, mines bigger, you'll be on tv. There's gonna be cameras in your face while you cook, they’ll probably do interviews and take shots of your restaurant. Then there’s the factor of them possibly finding out about us and outing us completely….” "You're talking me outta doing it." "I just want to prepare you. It's a huge favor and I don't want you to do it if you really don't want too. No pressure at all." "I can't say it's anything I would've seen myself doing but it's for a good cause and well, I'm pretty sure you could ask me to do just about anything and I'd do it." Jeffrey's grin couldn't get larger at her confession. "Oh yeah?" "Yeah but don't take advantage of it." "Never doll, never." He rasped, brushing a thumb across her jaw. "Just so you know, you've got me wrapped around your adorable little pinkie finger also." “Yeah?” “Oh fuckin yeah.” Leaning down he kissed her softly and murmured, ���I really do love you sweetheart. Have for awhile now.” “Me too Jeff.” She replied, a smile curling her lips. “Very much.”

Find Chapter Seventeen here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/162922595086/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-seventeen

I started posting this fic over on AO3 also. I will probably post in both places since I’m still figuring out AO3 formatting etc.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for updates. I’ll try my best to remember!

@magikat409 @cadeviolet @aforrester77422 @bethcarli @thamberlina @star017 @bec-brained-blarg @blackmother77 @lascitateognesperanza @adriannawiggins @jdm-negan-mcnaughty @negans-network @negansmutweek @cltex84 @audreychaz @wolfhart18 @ruggedasfuck @warriorqueen1991 @yellatthetopofyourlungs @hotfornegan @jml509 @ladyynegan @ibelongtonegan @uhh-dope @brandi-sykestw @negandarylsatisfaction @londoncapsule @jeffreynegan @morganstopbeinghotkthx @booliemaud @sicksadtired @wolfgirl1074 @sophisti-kate-ed @jdmsgal @sasquaatch68 @spideygeek @arkhamasylumpatient-blog1 @cupcake5365 @jackythemoo @soft-spokenangel @beegnc @mandilion76 @prettyepiic @beautifuldizasterfics @kitcat44 @mayuketchupytostones @ibelongtonegan @azanoni

[megans-project-blog1]

Love Online, and The Single Woman & The Fairytale Prince – Jean-Claude Kaufmann

I have read two separate books by Jean-Claude Kaufmann; I have chosen to talk about both of these in one blog post as they both related closely.

‘The Single Woman & The Fairytale Prince’ was the book first released by Kaufmann in 1998, and ‘Love Online’ was later published in 2010 as an updated sequel to ‘The Single Woman’. Originally, I was focusing purely on the more up-to-date ‘Love Online’, however it frequently referenced his previous book and so I chose to read both.

Kaufmann mainly talks about the comparisons of the past against the present, to find the main reasons as to why love has evolved in to what it is in the modern day. There is a section in ‘Love Online’ called ‘Who pays the bill’ that says “Chivalry suggests that the man should pay [for dinner]. But after several decades of feminism, that might look like an affront to the woman’s independence” (Kaufmann, 2010, Love Online, pg. 40).  If you were to look in to what the modern version would be, whilst it still is sometimes expected for the man to pay, it is much more common to split the bill 50/50. The feminist movement has had a big part to play in the evolution of love and relationships; women rely less on men.

Through the feminist movement, it can be seen that far more women are choosing to be single rather than being in a relationship. Some women are preferring to sleep around whilst others just like the company of themselves. Jean-Claude Kaufmann has a theory about the stages that a single woman will experience in her life; the supportive stage that occurs whilst she is younger, in which her friends will encourage her to be independent and single,  then the expectation stage that occurs around the age of 30, when all of her friends will start to expect her to settle down with someone and will make her feel guilty for not doing so; “And suddenly the finger is being pointed. It is as though the sky had fallen in and values had been inverted. Being single then comes to seem weird, and something to be slightly ashamed of. At this point, they begin to torture themselves: what have I one with my life, and what decisions should I take now?” (Kaufmann, 1998, The Single Woman & The Fairytale Prince, pg. 41). Finally comes the relaxed stage, in which a finger is no longer pointed and as the social pressures ease a woman can relax in to being single; except in order to have this relaxed environment they must choose to give up being centre stage and learn to be more reserved. I believe that this theory is definitely outdated 21 years later; Kaufmann has not mentioned it in ‘Love Online’ so perhaps he too decided that the stages became outdated. Women can certainly be centre stage, single, and middle-aged these days without too much accusation; it has become a lot more normalised.

However despite women being more openly single, Kaufmann did debate whether there has always been a large portion of people choosing to be single that perhaps was never recorded; “Celibacy had not been unusual but, because single people were scattered across the countryside and hidden within their families, they succeeded in disappearing into ‘the grey background’ (Farge and Klapisch Zuber 1984)” (Kaufmann, 1998, The Single Woman & The Fairytale Prince, pg. 11).

Looking at the fact that women are now free to act as men (live as a single person and sleep with whomever they like and however many people they like), Kaufmann has described our modern world to be “not as virtual as it is sometimes said to be, but it is ‘liquid’ because it has been freed from the constraints that bind us to territories, groups, and established conventions” (Kaufmann, 2010, Love Online, pg. 87). Our world is constantly changing, including what is considered to be a social norm. By the end of our lives, society could be completely different once more, and relationships seen in a new light regarding both genders. This also links to “Liquid Modernity” by Bauman, 2000, and the consumerist life that is spoken about.

The theory from Kaufmann that interests me most is that relationships and love in the modern day have started to become viewed with consumerist intentions. He talks about this idea in both books regarding online dating; “Welcome to the consumerist illusion, which suggests that we can choose a man (or woman) in the same way that we choose a yoghurt in the supermarket” (Kaufmann, 1998, The Single Woman & The Fairytale Prince, pg. 117). Looking at the way tinder is set out – swiping someone left to show that you’re uninterested and right if you are interested – it acts like an online shopping system, or ever like the shelves in a supermarket. Similarly, with a supermarket making returns is easily done; with online dating you can resort to blocking or ignoring the person without feeling too guilty because of how detached you can feel from the other person; interaction online in comparison to in reality feels very detached and almost like none of it is actually happening until you choose to bring it into real life. This looks at the idea of ‘ghosting’, which I previously looked at in the documentary ‘Hot Girls wanted’. The realistic equivalent of that would be disappearing half way through the date and not coming back, leaving the other individual to wonder where you are and if they will ever hear from you again.

Other things that Kaufmann talks about comparing the past and the present include the sexualisation and interpretations of certain actions and how they are seen now. Years ago, a kiss would have mean a lot; it was displayed as extravagant and iconic within Hollywood movies, and scandalous in times before that. These days some people see kisses as nothing, just something to do with someone else. They don’t necessarily associate it with love and it is very common for most people to do so with strangers when intoxicated on a night out. Furthermore, sex is no longer seen to be such a big deal; sex on a first date has become a hot-topic in our modern day, with people debating whether it’s right or wrong. Previously, this never would even have been considered in the past. Jean-Claude Kaufmann also mentions that the significance of dancing; in the past people would participate in the waltz, tango, salsa etc. The close physical contact in these were seen to be very serious and loving. These days it is rare for these dances to be performed, they certainly are not as normalised as they used to be.

All of these debates could be considered pointless; it could all depend on the relationship between two people, the chemistry, the people involved. It can also be linked to social norms. If a boy were to have sex with someone on a first date, he would be praised, yet if a girl were to do so, she would potentially face being called names such as ‘slag’.

One of the main focuses of online dating is the profile picture that someone chooses to put up. The image chosen will be put through the judgement of everyone else viewing it; the viewers will make a decision of whether it fits their standardised view of beauty. Kaufmann claims that “Image are the real, absolute enemy” (Kaufmann, 2010, Love Online, pg. 30). Using statistics found by others, he announced the shocking fact that “Some 23% of the men who visit dating sites are married (Madden and Lenhart 2006), and they are looking for sex, not a soulmate” (Kaufmann, 2010, Love Online, pg. 18). These figures are based on America, but it is likely that the figures will be similar across the Western world. It was noted in ‘Love Online’ that these cheating husbands would almost never have a profile photo, for fear of being caught.

Finally, section 7 of ‘Love Online’ explores the idea of ‘The Game’. “Some men view sex in terms that have more to do with ‘game playing’ in a much stricter sense. We have already seen the way in which they use seduction techniques to get to a fuck close as quickly as possible, [Kaufmann explained earlier that a ‘Fuck Close’ is when someone has sex with someone and then leaves, never speaking or acknowledging them again]. There is a long tradition of male rivalry when it comes to female conquests… they compete to conquer as many women as possible in order to prove something to themselves and to have something to boast about to their friends and rivals” (Kaufmann, 2010, Love Online, Pg. 103). This can almost be compared to a competitive sport and a game, which has become much easier to play now that we have the internet. Jean-Claude Kaufmann explains that the main idea of the game is to not be tied down by one particular girl. If a game like this were to be played by a young male, it is almost no wonder that such a high percentage of husbands later use online dating to cheat; if society had not encouraged these boys to be this way then would the outcome be the same?

Kaufmann explores quite a few sociologists within his books. I will make a separate post looking at a few of these sociologists and their theories of modern love and relationships. This will include Emile Durkheim, Pascal Lardellier, and Bryn and Lenton.

Kaufmann, K 1998, The Single Woman & The Fairytale Prince, Armand Colin, France

Kaufmann, K 2010, Love Online, Armand Colin, France

[spinneryesteryear]

Spinner plays FFXIV Stormblood

Finished FFXIV 4.0 MSQ over the weekend (DRK to 70, WHM to 77), hoo boy. I know I've got the 4.x patches to go but I did wind up liking Stormblood more than I thought. Spoilers ahoy!

Highlights:

- started the SB questline right about the same time as everyone else started ShB *sobs* It did mean I landed in the midst of some good FATE-grinding parties, however, at little as that matters

- I liked the Baelsar’s Wall but those last twin bosses can go die in a fire

- couldn’t get really sad over Papalymo because he barely contributed anything to the story except to snark at Yda. I like him better in DFFOO, where he is an excellent black mage. So, like, the exact opposite of my feelings regarding Thancred.

- Shinryu, Omega, and Cid all disappeared for the majority of the Stormblood questline and tbh it suffered for their absences. At least Estinien, of all people, was tracking the first two down.

- thankfully the WHM quests were all in the first zone I got access to and I already had it at 70 so I just zipped through them

----- me: *fails repeatedly at WHM lvl 70 quest*

----- me: *returns w/gear 10 lvls higher* Time for my vengeance.

----- (Yes, I know I should always keep my gear up to date and to be fair I always keep it at the appropriate level or better when other people are involved. This, however, was single-player duty and my lack of better gear didn’t matter since I didn’t even have the lvl 61 dungeon unlocked yet.)

- never cared at all for Zenos. Nope. Not at all. He and his golf club bag of swords can go fall off Shinryu's platforms. (I also had 0% trouble w/his solo fights on DRK? Maybe it was the new flat damage reduction baked into all tanks, idk, or maybe it was having Aug Shire/at lvl gear for each instance. I kept my health up just fine and had to be wiped out via his insta-kill move for the duty to end. But honestly it felt like good DRK job fantasy, taking on this insurmountable foe and clawing my way past death to defend my fallen comrades.) Also my character literally viewed him as a troubled teen taking out his issues on everyone around him via murder and wasn't impressed w/him in the least. But anyway.

- I came to tolerate Lyse but that's it. Hot-blooded people who rush off and act w/o thinking irritate me greatly IRL and it's no different in virtual life. Plus, she's almost literally an anime version of me who traded book smarts for punching ability. Even her name is a mere one letter from mine. It's kinda weird. She’s my mirror universe self. Ugh.

- it’s really disappointing Square Enix gives me so few options in killing myself. Let me jump off cliffs to my messy death already, dang it. Skyrim let me do it within the first 2 minutes of ever playing, haha.

- the sharks fly. the bears fly. the goobues fly. why not.

- ah, yes, gyuki. Skyrim prepared me for unreasonably bloodthirsty walruses. And for the unreasonably powerful and murderous mammoths.

- I liked M'naago, wished she had been the lead instead

- genuinely loved Gosetsu (Conrad who?) and was upset at his 'death'. I'm at once glad he survived and annoyed at another death fake-out. *Drak voice* Kill more! Kill 'em all!

- Hien is an adorable badass and I wish to adopt him and take him home with me. Doma 4 lyfe

---- me: *interiorly grumbles every time I hear the words ‘Ala Mhigo’

---- also me: *cheers for Doma & the Steppes*

- I just... really don’t understand why Highlanders live in a desert nation and have geographic and cultural neighbors based off of India and yet they have Old English/OHG names. Why???

- also why is Lyse blindingly white (and Minfilia, for that matter) in stark contrast to other Highlanders???

---- me: So, Lyse, if you’re from Gyr Abania then why are you white?

---- Alphinaud: Oh my god, Spinner, you can’t just ask someone why they’re white.

- once again, I'm probably the only person who loved the WHM quests (all SB job quests seem to return to their 1 - 30 [or 30 - 50?] roots and I don't mind). Did lots of screaming over DRK 60 - 70. I saved them all up and did them right away when I hit 70; they flow much better w/no interruptions

- explored/quested/ground FATE's on DRK but ran new dungeons on WHM as that's my comfort job. Failed twice on the mechanics of Bardam's Mettle 2nd boss but no wipes so we're good. So many overconfident gunbreaker tanks, though. T__T *I* did a better job tanking/killing a pack of like 12 mobs as WHM in Sirensong Sea than one bunbreaker, smh.

- I found Magnai to be entirely too amusing. I also want his moves on WAR. 

- somehow missed Shisui entirely? Still haven't got all aether currents in the Ruby Sea RIP me

------ (2 month later addendum: finally unlocked it and got my aether currents. Now, to never return to that area ever again.)

- no underwater mobs is so disappointing. Let me throw fireballs and Holys and swing a greatsword underwater already. Let me tell you, nothing is as exciting as going diving in Morrowind with only a 22% chance to successfully cast Waterbreathing and this Kojin blessing is such an OP cheat.

- enjoying my Grani mount tbh. I have no idea if it's lore-relevant for ShB; I just saw the name lifted straight from Norse myth and was like, "Want." It's more of a horse-shaped reptile, however, with 'paws' that become increasingly creepy the more you stare at them. I wonder if it eats meat like the thestrals in HP.

- shooting minigames? Okay. Platforming minigames? AW HECK NO I THOUGHT I WAS DONE W/THIS WHEN I LEFT LEGO GAMES TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME PLATFORMING IS MY GREATEST ENEMY

- I was derping around in Kugane and accidentally started doing the tower jumping puzzle. As soon as I figured out what I was doing I had to run away immediately to save my sanity.

- throwing on tank stance and rushing in to save someone from a mob or a FATE is still as heady a feeling as ever (except when they then run off and leave you to die, like, no why please). Or raising people out in the wild. I particularly love that cyclops boss FATE near Whitebrim bc I can go stand on the edges as a powerful WHM and raise people 10x as the bodies keep hitting the floor. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s still so great.

- I do enjoy the Morrowind feel of walking through a new zone and taking in the scenery but I'd like it more if all the wildlife wasn't super powerful and aggro'ing on me every 10 ft. It feels less like an ecosystem and more like generic monster land when there are no longer any non-aggressive mobs like there were in ARR. The Gyr Abanian landscapes are slowly growing on me, however.

- me, flying through Porta Praetoria/Lochs: Those wooden bonfires must be awfully expensive, if wood is as scarce in Gyr Abania as I think....

- loved the Azim Steppe - atmosphere, music, lore, everything. Waiting for someone to call me out on this bc I just really love Xaela (and may make a male Xaela alt one day).

- had minor moral qualms over fighting in the Naadam for the Mol bc I wanted to claim victory for the Orl

- I do really like those moments in Heavensward and Stormblood when the game recreates the epic moments from the trailers (the WoL walking through the soldiers to fight the dragon; the WoL and Lyse sparring, etc.). 

- I was singing, “I don’t care, I don’t care,” to the tune of Let It Go during the Ala Mhigo cutscenes but the resistance singing their anthem really got to me nevertheless. Many voices united and uplifted and song always hits me hard emotionally.

- my character still looking at Zenos with 0% thirst (negative amounts of thirst, tbh) like, “Who is this sassy lost child?”

- then again my character is like 31 yrs old here with a backstory summed up as ‘angry single mom goes to check on friend, ends up killing a god and getting recruited to save the world’

- Pipin is best Lalafell; I will defend him with my life but he has Tizona now and doesn't need me. The absolute shortest guy around is calling the shots in this military campaign and I love it. At least his dad gave him a box to stand on so he could see over the table during the important strategic military discussions.

- the siege of Ala Mhigo taught us that thaumaturges/black mages are the living equivalent of heavy artillery, nice nice nice

- got lucky and had a competent crew in DF to fight Shinryu

- tbh my character would probably kick Asahi’s dad while he was down and cave in his ribs, just finishing him off. It’s no wonder Asahi turned out as bad as he did, with parents as horrifically self-centered as THAT.

- I humbly submit ‘Higwit’ as a fan-name for that elezen following Asahi around - an acronym for ‘Hien Is Great - Who Is That?!’ based on an old LOTR fan meme. Who else here remembers Figwit before he became Lindir?

- I liked the Tsukuyomi fight but I can’t remember anything specific about it now, not even the mechs. 

- I did spend a lot of time screenshotting Hien because he is an awesome bro and I would endure Ala Mhigo all over again for him

[jvmmitch0888-blog]

What Can I Become If I Study Industrial Style?

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[cihvateotl]

who’s more dominant:

Ophelia. At first glance, she comes off as the more docile of the relationship, but it quickly becomes apparent that she’s more in control of the relationship than Dominic. Even if he does carry his fair share of the weight in it, Ophelia’s always going to be the dominant one.

who’s the cuddler:

Dominic. Ophelia loves to cuddle as much as the next person, but she doesn’t crave physical affection nearly as deeply as Dominic. He’s always the one that’ll initiate the contact, and the one that’ll bring her towards him if they’re sitting especially further apart than usual. Plus, Ophelia is so compact in size that she always fits comfortably against him.

who’s the big spoon/little spoon:

Dominic is the big spoon. Ophelia is the little spoon. Both for comfort and because of necessity, as Dominic tends to wake up much earlier than she does in the mornings, and with their positions reversed, she’d be woken up every single time -- a bad idea, if there ever was one. Only stupid people wake Ophelia up when she doesn’t want to be up.

what’s their favorite non-sexual activity:

Dominic loves to read, and when Ophelia’s in the same room as him when he’s doing so, she usually tends to find a way to sit down next to/across from him while on her phone or laptop. It’s something he finds extremely soothing, because in those moments they’re just at peace with each other. Ophelia prefers when they’re sparring, or he’s teaching her a new method of self-defense, because she prefers physical activities.

who uses all the hot water:

Dominic can never seem to really get warm, so he takes his showers almost scalding hot. Ophelia wouldn’t mind, except for the fact that she severely hates anything cold, and that’s what it always ends up being for her. 

most trivial thing they fight over: 

They have a long standing feud over who really is Caspian’s biological father, in private. Of course. Dominic swears that it has to be Ed, though Ophelia’s convinced that it was really Vincent that is the guy’s dad. They’ve both gathered enough data for their position, and though it doesn’t really relate to them -- they don’t even like Cas, after all -- it’s still a matter of discontent with them when it comes up again.

who does most of the cleaning: 

Mr. Neat Freak, himself. Ophelia could live in a dumpster and have it not really bother her, but god forbid that she leave one measly thing out of place in their shared quarters and he’s going to probably flip his shit and make her make it tidy again, or do it himself while he scolds her and she mimes stabbing motions behind her back.

who controls the netflix queue: 

Considering Dominic could watch paint dry and not have to divert his attention, Ophelia has complete control of what they watch. Whether it be documentaries on UFO Hoaxes or a Chick Flick, Ophelia gets to pick unless she’s feeling very generous.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: 

These things are left to Dominic, who can and will level with anyone without causing an international incident and/or winding up with someone getting hurt. Unlike Ophelia, who could start a fight with a nun in only a matter of seconds. 

who leaves their stuff around:

See ‘Mr Neat Freak vs Ms Trash Bucket’.

who remembers to buy the milk: 

Dominic has the better memory. To be honest, Ophelia’s so scatterbrained she wouldn’t remember even if she was really trying her hardest. 

who remembers anniversaries:  

Again, Dominic. Though Ophelia has never, and will never forget Dominic’s birthday.

who cooks normally: 

Neither of them are particularly good cooks, nor do they have the time to actually sit down and get something done. That being said, Ophelia’s got more time on her hands than Dominic and would probably try to take on the task, then give up and order some take-out.

how often do they fight:

Quite often. Ophelia has strong opinions and a big mouth, and Dominic doesn’t agree with a lot of the ways that she handles certain things. It’s hard, but a necessary evil for them to both get their opinions across.

what do they do when they’re away from each other: 

They go on about their normal lives, as they do tend to spend a lot of time away from each other. Dominic will always call Ophelia when he thinks of something that he think she needs to hear, and Ophelia has a habit of sending him hand-written letters every few days with her thoughts and dreams. They’re cheesy and ridiculous. 

nicknames for each other: 

Ophelia calls him Dom, though she’s also been known to refer to him as Galahad, due to his always protecting her as a child, and his chivalry. Dom calls her Felli, because she hates that nickname and he loves to make her suffer, allegedly.

who is more likely to pay for dinner: 

Dominic, of course. Ophelia might try to get things to swing her way, but he’s always going to end up winning her over with his charms. 

who steals the covers at night: 

Dominic tries not to, but he never really succeeds. He’s never not cold, so Ophelia has made it her life’s mission to stack their bed full of blankets so they can both have enough covering for their nights. 

what would they get each other for gifts:

Ophelia would get Dominic a suit and a nice tie, or a box of paperclips. She’s an asshole, as previously stated. Dominic would get Ophelia a butterfly broach to add to her collection of the bitches, because he’s a total softie.

who kissed who first:

Ophelia kissed Dominic after he taught her to defend herself so she wouldn’t have to rely on him anymore, because she didn’t want him to think she was doing him because he needed her, and he didn’t do it first for the very same reason.

who made the first move:

Dominic, technically. Though Ophelia made the much more obvious first move.

who remembers things: 

Dominic. Dominic. Domiiiiinnnnnniiiic.

who started the relationship:

Ophelia was the one that straight up told him ‘I think we gotta start dating, okay? Thanks.’

who cusses more: 

Is this even a question? The one that gets into fights on a daily basis, can’t keep her mouth shut, has two parents that have zero filter regarding profanity, and loves to show people that she’s not the stereotype that everyone perceives her to be. 

what would they do if the other one was hurt:

Ophelia would flip shit, immediately go into action and make sure that no one was at rest until she was 100% sure he was safe and sound. Would piss off a lot of people with her incessant worrying. Dominic would worry, but understand that there were people around much more capable of helping her than himself in that moment, and would let them do their job.

who is the dirty talker:

It would come as a shock to everyone, but Dominic. 

a head canon:

On their first anniversary, Dominic was really busy and forgot and Ophelia spent the next two weeks ignoring him until Dominic made it up to her by agreeing to go out with her on a week-long trip into No Man’s Land. That was the first time Ophelia saw him shoot a gun, and it was the first time she really figured out just how competent at his job he really was. It was also the first time she found herself scared of him.