#and he has no idea

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

Thinking about it, it’s actually crazy how much Felix and Amelie have done to ensure Adrien’s autonomy

Issue thinly veiled threats? Done.

Steal jewelry from an unstable, very powerful man? No problem.

Potentially ruin Adrien’s reputation and his longstanding relationships? Not sure how this one fits in, but sure.

Aid an international terrorist? Easy.

Harbor a fugitive and lie to literal superheroes. Got it.

Murder nearly the entire world population? All in a days work.

I’m not saying that these actions are necessary or at all proportionate with what they were trying to accomplish… but man, they get stuff done

[they-reap-what-we-sow]

Tim Drake annnnnd Tools and People

zitaaaaaa my favorite guy bringing me my favorite blorbo!!

Okay, so it's Tim, so we hurt him, OBVIOUSLY. in this edition, I think I'd go with something more subtle though. Bruce and Tim post the return from the time stream, and they're in the cave. Bruce is slowly settling back into the family, and by that I mean disrupting all the routines and patterns everyone had finally relaxed into. Tim is still on edge with Dick after their arguments before he left for the desert, but they're okay now.

Except when Bruce goes on patrol, and Tim hands him a grapple gun, and Bruce stops before he puts it in his belt. Bruce steps back, as if Tim won't see him check the hook, the trigger, the line. As if he doesn't trust the grapple that Tim handed him, because he didn't check the batarangs Damian stuck in his belt, or the smoke bombs Dick threw at him.

After everything. It's Tim that Bruce doesn't trust.

[curious-shadow-cat]

Every villain just falls for Luigi and he doesn’t have to do anything.

Villain:”Ahh, Mario, at last we meet, now--”

Luigi:*Is just standing there next to Mario.

Villain:”....WATCH AS I TAKE AWAY YOUR ONLY BROTHER!!”

Luigi:”EVERY. TIME.”

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Didn't have the energy to make it look nicer, nevertheless...

From this excellent collection.

This is not funny unless you know who that is and why he (or a close friend of his) would do that. Like, five people on this planet will chuckle and maybe three of them will see it. Oh, well.

He'll do a double take and say, WTF? That wasn't like that.

She'll say, I just wasn't paying attention.

He'll say, huh. Then he'll go home and wonder how in the hell he got blue paint on his hand.

[redheadarcher]

the funniest thing I’ve learned today is that when my granddad was my age he looked exactly like norman osborn lol

[wishfulsketching]

Girl dad Silco is a source of endless entertainment for me

Extra doodles:

Someone save Sevika, she is in hell

[the-moon-loves-the-sea]

Shared here today by Matthew Boroson on Facebook. (ETA: Gaining inspiration from other authors is great. Lifting passages and avoiding giving credit isn’t.)

Tanith Lee was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award for best novel, for the second book of the Flat Earth series. She died in 2015. You can buy Tales From the Flat Earth here and here .

[idcaboutart]

all that remained were fields of dreamless solitude

only you can show me this

[jasontoddsguns]

“Boromir apologist” he doesn’t have anything to apologize for????? He fell victim to evil ringTM like once. and then immediately redeemed himself. Guys come on.

[sylusbitch]

my favorite hc is that penelope was told by the ladies in waiting to go and stay in her room and not to come out for anyone

and she hears screams and whatnot and is like oh fuck now theyve done it, the suitors are gonna destroy the place

only to hear the screams lessen in volume and being like ? are they killing each other?

but then she hears a scream clear as day "THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE" and she's like🧍‍♀️no fuckin shot my husband is down there on a murder spree

and she immediately starts pacing back and forth like "LADIES HELP ME PREPARE I NEED TO LOOK DIVINE" and it's a full makeover sequence

and they're posing her and being like "hold on, tilt your chin up a little bit, turn to the side like 12 degrees- BOOM my lady you are serving such cunt"

and then they hear odysseus' loud ass steps going up the stairs and all the ladies scatter while penelope tries to look nonchalant like "AHEM....😳 is it you? have my prayers been answered?"

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[prlssprfctn]

Dick is kind of a big brother who knows what effect he has on his siblings's friends, and he never misses an opportunity to make himself look even cooler in their eyes. But Jason? Oh, Jason has no idea that people even consider him pretty and interesting.

It pisses his siblings even more.

Jason, on his bike, with the most insane face card: Hey, Replacement, hop on. We have work to do.

Kon, twirling his hair: Is your brother, like... free?

Bernard: Yeah, on Friday

Tim, with his eye twitching: I will kill you.

Jason, absolutely unaware of what is going on: ??? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

***

Jon, waving enthusiastically at Jason, who passes by kitchen: Jason is so cool!

Damian: ...

Jon: And kind!

Damian: Calling Todd kind is definitely a choice.

Jon: But he read me a bedtime story the last time I was staying here 😕

Damian, frowning: ...

(Damian, later that day: Why did you read bedtime story to Jon and not me.)

***

Jason: Why Tim's and Damian's friends keep fucking glaring at me? Or stumble when I am around? What tf am I doing wrong?

Dick, trying to hide his laughter: Eh, no idea

Bruce, absentmindedly: I, actually, have the same problem when I am around other people

Alfred, amused: No DNA test required, that's for sure

[gooseworx]

Roblox OC because I've lost all control of my life.

[is-not-a-bell]

Sleepy King

The Justice League Dark caught wind of a cult trying to summon the Ghost King. A being with power so terrible and great, that all of the chaotic Infinite Realms feared him. A true tyrant. Long ago it took the effort of ghosts equal to gods to seal him away into a permeant slumber.

And now this cult wishes to wake him and bring him to the living realm. It was a race against the clock to find the ritual site and all members were called on board, magic or not. Even Constantine looked stressed.

They did find the site.

But it was too late, the ritual was completed. The entire inner circle of runes glowed before being swallowed in a column of green light. The air filled with static and a ringing that made Supergirl crumble to the ground.

The light dissipated, but there was no great figure or being of pure evil. Instead there was a boy, a teenager. He laid on the ground curled up in his sleep. He was a ghost no doubt, dressed in regal clothing.

Despite this when he stirred, everyone froze. It seemed the cold hard ground woke him up. He got up slowly and yawned, revealing his sharp fangs. Once sat up he opened his bleary eyes to look around. He looked confused and tired, really tired.

"Where am I?" He mumbled. "I was trying to get some sleep." Constantine internally screaming, latches onto that last sentence. He glances over to Batman. He caught that last part too. Batman approaches calmly and crouches down in front of the boy king. Hardening his resolve, Batman takes on a gentle tone.

"Hey kiddo, sorry we woke you. Lets get you back to bed yeah?" The boy nodded in agreement. He pulled himself to his feet before looking around in a circle. "Where did my blanket go?" He asked rather sadly. Batman is quick to shed his own cape and drape it over him. "You can borrow my cape until we get you a new one." He nodded again, pulling the black fabric around himself.

John quickly summoned a portal door, while Batman led the King through it. John threw looks around at everyone. Everyone could tell he was mouthing the words. 'Find me a fucking blanket now'

Running on the logic of getting the king away from Earth, away from graves and the undead, that could give him power. The portal led to the Watch Tower.

Batman took advantage of the King's bleary state to send a base wide alert for all noncritical members to evacuate immediately. With a priority that death adjacent members leave first. "The stars are pretty." Bruce looked at the boy staring out the window in wonder. He almost looked like a normal kid, almost.

"Yeah they are, it's pretty late so we should get you back to bed." He nodded, going along with Batman's gentle coaxing.

He takes the boy to an unused bedroom. Making sure the room isn't dusty and that lights are dimmed. He glances back to see about a dozen different leaguers all holding blankets, one thought to bring extra pillows. The bed was pretty barren with only a single pillow and a thin bedsheet. So Bruce took a thick duvet, one of the fluffier blankets and a second pillow from his team before shooing them away.

The boy ended up keeping his cape, mumbling how it was warm. He tucked the boy in, before quietly exiting the room and turning off the light. He was pretty sure the King fell back to sleep before he even reached the light switch.

After the door shut, he made direct eye contact with John. "Constantine." They needed to figure out what the hell was going on.

[sunderwight]

Obsessed with the idea of Mobei Jun going through most of his life thinking that he's the only one smart enough to pick up on Shang Qinghua's worth and try to court him, only to walk into a room one day (prior to his ascension) and see Luo Binghe's husband beating up his man in what is clearly a non-serious and recreational fashion.

Just how long has this been going on for? Is this why Qinghua has never formally accepted any of his proposals? How is he supposed to retaliate when Junshang will kill him on the spot for any perceived attack on his husband? The one guy he probably can't challenge to a duel, and he's clearly trying to seduce Mobei's man out from under him!

But what can he do? More violence? Sluttier outfits? Longer attempts at meaningful eye-contact? He was already pulling out all the stops, what does this stupid scholar have that he doesn't, huh?

[deadpoolsmom]

as far as one piece antagonists go Crocodile truly gets absolutely scooby-doo’d at unmatched levels

He immediately falls for a phone scam and from basically little garden to rainbase he doesn’t even know the strawhats are alive (and clowning towards him at incredible speed). As soon as he does, they’re in his house tearing at his walls and bringing marines into his villain lair.

He uses a literal floor trap door over a gator pit to catch them, gets phone scammed again, full scooby-doo chase scenes after Chopper through the streets while still missing him, and suddenly his prisoners have escaped his impossible cage, and his giant bananagators are dead. and Nico Robin saw it all happen.

He then spends rest of the arc complaining about those meddling kids and their dog “strawhat pirates and their weird pet” and at no point does he even know how many strawhats there are.

Like yeah he keeps having plans on top of plans to stop everything Vivi can do but also she keeps coming up with a new thing to do (Tom and Jerry ass dynamic).

Part of it is that he’s underestimating them and keeps grandstanding villain monologuing but also teens keep killing hundreds of his grand line bounty hunters and he straight up does not know what is happening.

Cause he IS trying to kill them he’s sending top assassins after them and ripping out luffy’s organs, the whole time he’s yelling HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?? DIE. as whack-a-mole Luffy keeps inventing new ways to hit him.