#and he came in and pretty much went .......... yep. keep going.

[bewitched-hours]

Why is it always Yan!( Character) Or Yan!( Ship)

NO I wanna be Yandere!

Therefore I request Yan! Ghost Reader x Noob( yep I'm building off of my request)

But is it alright if it's not too dark, like there are traits and some features of a Yandere but it's not like reader's down right toxic and not good for noob. Idk man I love Yan fics but when it's too much it puts me off.

Noob get your ghost wife she's about to strangle two time for the nth time-

OH???? A LITTLE SWITCH UP???? FOR LIL' OLD ME??? Is it christmas-? Also, yeah, I get it. I try to make my version of yanderes more watered down in a sense where it's a bit dark but not off-putting, ya know?

Reader gets She/Her again~

How long has been been now? You didn't care.

You were head over heels for your favourite little survivor and as if sensing your desperation, the Spectre allowed you a deal.

A physical form for all the memories of your life before its realm. You accepted it without thinking and now waited for your beloved in a form that resembled the one you had as a ghost but with a lot more colour to you and no more transparency.

To say Noob was surprised would be an understatement... Especially with how you practically jumped at him.

But how could he blame you when you're head over heels for his cute face? Not that he'd know.

You were even given the abilities and title of a sentinel soon after, surprising the other survivors as you proudly declared yourself to be the ghost that's been haunting them.

Although... You did assure them that they had Noob to thank for your friendliness. He wasn't too happy about being the center of attention but he didn't protest after you shut him up with a quick kiss. It was simply adorable just like him!

You weren't even trying to hide your favouritism everyone pretty much accepted you were just warped by Spectre knows how many years of being stuck in this hell and Noob just so happened to be the unfortunate soul to become the target of your affection.

Sure, you grew to warm up to the other survivors and help them out but even so you spent most of your time by Noob's side like a lost puppy. It was honestly kinda adorable, if not for the way your obsession with him grew deeper and deeper.

He noticed it of course, but he wasn't sure how to bring it up. He loved you back, that much was clear, but he also knew he had to put a line in the sand to make sure you kept a grip on your... Tendencies...

To start off, he had to give you a gentle kiss to make sure you were fully fixated on him. It also acted as a confession of sorts which threw you off and you didn't really know what to do.

"Listen, it's- it's not that I don't like you too but... I just want to make sure this new side of yours doesn't ruin it." You were a little surprised but made sure to listen and didn't interrupt him. You could tell this was important and it was touching that he cared enough to discuss a way for the relationship to work. How does he always find ways to make you love him more...?

"I need to be sure that you have whatever this is under control so I want to find ways to help you stay sane. If you feel jealous or any urges to feel negative because of me or the others, come to me and we can talk about it. If you feel like you need to steal anything of mine, we can talk about it." It went on like that for a bit, though you never even dared to think about not taking him seriously.

Despite what he appeared usually, you knew Noob was someone who delivered on promises and he made sure you knew that while he loved you a lot, he is not staying in a relationship that'll isolate him or creep him out. And you were determined to not force that on him.

True to your mutual promise, you'd go to him whenever that darker part of your brain began whispering those tempting thoughts of what you could do to keep him to yourself. He eventually came to learn how to tell your obsessive moods from your regular negative ones through subtle cues and even when you wouldn't even realize it, Noob would take you aside and reassure you that no one could take him away from you.

You were his... He was yours...

Even if the Spectre wasn't all too happy but it wasn't like your memories hadn't tasted good enough for it to allow this.

You can put your worries to rest... Home is here...

Anything you'd like to request/ask? Check out my pinned post first and I'll be happy to write up whatever you want!

[hag-o-hags]

hold the fuckin phone here lads

i had a consult with rheumatology/immunology re: long tall short fat covid, and i went to a PA who was .... let's call it distracted? by the fact that I have prediabetes markers

which, frankly, duh, my mom's entire family are diabetic or prediabetic, my father's (v small) family was Skinny Diabetics -- my genes mean it's a matter of if not when (ETA: "not if BUT when" and/or "when not if". cripes. it took three goes to get this right. see below re: 65% rate of braining good.)

(and like sidebar if everyone in my family got breast cancer nobody would be sitting there like ooooooohhh make sure you're getting enough CARDIO whilst RECOVERING FROM A LIFE ALTERING FATIGUE DISORDER)

anyway there were a couple ..... blood orange flags? things that I wouldn't appreciate from my PCP, but from a specialist? sure whatever, maybe you have really solid evidence that this particular supplement is worth a try. I was coping with Robitussin for a while there.

but!!!!!!

she also gave me some studies to look through, which, hah, thank you, my brain works 65% of the time, but hey, sure, the musculoskeletal effects of diabetes mellitus might be helpful.

Bitch it's chiropractic!!!!!

the principle author is from the TEXAS CHIROPRACTIC COLLEGE

it's published by the JOURNAL OF THE CANADIAN CHIROPRACTIC ASSOCIATION

putting aside the teeny tiny minor issue that I do not at present actually have diabetes mellitus whY are you giving me chiropractic advice

when I took some of what she said back to my pcp (who remains, as ever, the fucking best), she was like "Um. No. No that doesn't track." At the time I was willing to accept that okay, we've taken a rheum/immun tactic off our list, we can go back to Neuro. But now I'm sort of thinking that hi. Hello. Maybe we really didn't spend enough time on the Immediate Family History of Bonkers Rheumatological Issues.

I'm tired. And my hands won't stop being tingly.

[anisespice]

“ the fuck-it list ” || hq! pt. 5

one || two || three || four

synopsis: there’s a list going around consisting of hot guys on campus that are deemed “fuckable” with theories as to what they’d be like in bed. it’s all fun and games until somehow your boyfriend ends up on this list. 

pairing: various x gn!reader [ suna, aran, kita ]

warnings: mature content. MDI. cursing, suggestive language, mild objectification, atsumu slander/bulling (mostly from suna lol), mentions of soft dom/brat-taming, breeding-kink kita supremacy, not proofread so there may be some errors here and there, and I think that's it :]

notes: NO ONE LOOK AT ME THIS TOOK SO FREAKING LONG THAT WE'RE IN A WHOLE NEW YEAR SINCE THE LAST ONE WAS POSTED LOL But, I wanted to make sure I portrayed the characters as accurately as possible, and I've once again been hit with the burnout stick :'))) so thank you so so so so much for your patience, hope you enjoy!

tagged: @daedaep69 , @ahahadumbo , @viktoryn , @mdsb , @ourgoddessathena , @ushygushybaby , @hyori2 , @lumpywolf , @fantasycantasy, @captaincyberqueen, @tsukiran

SUNA's messy as hell, you bet your ass he knows about the list.

Most definitely clowned Atsumu when the whole mix-up between him and Osamu went down a couple weeks ago. He'd poke that dead horse out of pure boredom or just to document his reactions for a laugh later, resulting in some of the most unflattering, yet entertaining footage of your mutual friend that you were certain he'd keep for blackmail.

“You didn’t need the poor guy’s misery in every possible angle you could think of.” You shook your head at him, fighting the grin on your face. Sitting across from him at a booth in the canteen, you pass the time in between classes by letting him show you photo after photo, video after video of Atsumu’s latest performance.

How his storage managed to survive was beyond you.

Suna shrugged, taking a sip from his drink. “Sure I did. Need to have variety for when I make merch and sell it at his games. ‘m thinking tshirts, buttons, stickers, y’know. The whole nine yards.”

“You’re terrible.” You shook your head again as you sifted through blurry photo after blurry photo.

“Terribly smart.”

“Mm. Debatable.”

“Tsk,” he reached over to flick your forehead, “keep hating and you won’t get a cut of the profit.” Despite him softly glaring at you, he grinned at the giggle you graced him with in response, flicking his forehead back. “Anyway, wanna see the one of him throwing a chair at ‘samu for calling him the mid-twin?”

You paused, eyes widening. “He did not.” 

Suna lifted his arm to give you room to lean against his side. Despite your better judgment, and a smidge of pity for the blonde, you couldn’t deny he had some pretty priceless reactions that never failed to get a laugh out of you. Plus, it was all in good fun at the end of the day—No harm, no foul, right?

Immediately snuggling up to his side, he took the phone back to scroll right to said video, angling it so you could watch it together. You chortled at the sound of your boyfriend behind the camera, panting and laughing as he attempted to hold the camera steady while sprinting away from Atsumu before inevitably getting caught right before the recording abruptly stopped. You blinked in shock, mouth agape as you slowly connected the dots with the last few milliseconds you had. “Did he..Did he tackle you??” 

“Yep. Like a big, blonde buffalo. Life flashed before my eyes.”

“Oh my god,” you replied, hand coming over your mouth as you fought back your giggles. Suna squinted at you, arm that was curled over your shoulder coming down so he could lightly pinch your ear.

“You’re ‘posed to laugh at his expense, not mine.”

This only made giggling harder to contain, eventually morphing into cackles as the last few moments of the video replayed in your mind over and over. Suna pursed his lips, placing the phone on the table to free his other hand as it came to pinch your other ear. He tugged on them, not so hard to hurt but enough to get his point across as he pouted at you. “Quit it.”

More laughs bubbled out of you, now at his ridiculous retaliation as he pulled your ears far enough to resemble a monkey’s. You raised a brow, reaching up to grab at his wrists. “You quit it.”

“No, you.”

You squinted. “No, you.”

“You.”

“Rin-Ow! Stop it, you ass!”

This little back and forth went on for a few minutes, up until it eventually ends with you in a small headlock, biting his forearm in retaliation. It didn’t hurt at all, except maybe your pride, especially when you heard the familiar sound of his phone snapping pictures—When did he even grab it? You pulled back in shock, looking up and meeting your own gaze on the screen as he rapidly snapped away, even having the nerve to give a peace sign in some of them with the very arm you were latched onto.

You gaped in horror, “No you didn't! Delete those!”

He hummed in feigned thought, keeping his phone just out of reach as you struggled to snatch it from him. Rin smirked, “No way, now we both can laugh, babe. We'll call it even.”

With a glare, you opened your mouth to retort but he immediately shut you up by leaning down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss, lazily so, and swallowing any protest you tried to voice until you eventually melted into it. You could just feel his smug grin, and you were tempted to bite his bottom lip, but he pulled away before you could commit. He snorted as you still glared at him, although it softened more and more with every kiss he placed on your face to placate your sourness toward him.

Gradually, the kisses started to grow wet, making you squirm away with an annoyed whine, but he merely tightened his hold on you keeping you from getting far. Despite your struggle you couldn't help but laugh, "Ew! Ugh! You're so fucking gross!"

"Mm, gross for you." He placed another to your lips before releasing you. You gently pinched him in retaliation, muttering a small threat to his kneecaps if those photos of you ever saw the light of day.

After the two of you settled back down in a comfortable silence, your mind started to wander back to the discussion from earlier. With the abundance of guys who've been placed on said list so far, Atsumu of all people one of them, you couldn't help but wonder... Looking over at him as he played with his straw, you asked, "Hey...do you think you're on the list?"

Rin paused, then gave a small shrug, "Dunno. Never checked."

You scoffed, "I find that hard to believe. You weren't ever curious?"

"Not really, always thought it was kinda dumb. I only grew mildly interested after 'tsumu threw a tantrum about it, saw it as another way to get on his nerves. Other than that, it's never crossed my mind. Besides, as if I'd give him the satisfaction of knowing I'm on it, too." He blinked, then looked at you. "On second thought, yeah, check and see so I can dox whoever posted it before that knucklehead catches wind."

"Rin." You slapped his arm, knowing he was half-serious. "We can just report it."

He merely shrugged again, internally debating, but didn't say anything as you did some digging on the account to see if anything came up. It helped that the admins of the account started alphabetizing after posting so many entries, it made it easier to navigate through the endless sea of thirst and shameless threads. When you finally made it to the 'R's and noticed how short the section was, you had high hopes. Until, right there plain on your screen, paired with an off-guard photo of him you posted once on your story in past, was his entry.

‘Rintarō Suna. 6’1ft of malicious intent. A straight up walking red flag, but it’s okay—Red’s a sexy color. Definitely the kind of guy who’d call you “Bro” as a term of endearment, then make out with you while using your ass as a stress ball. He can’t keep his hands to himself to save his LIFE yet swears on it that he’s not clingy lol. But don’t let the cuddly side of him distract from the fact that he can be such a little SHIT ♡. He’d edge you for hours, rearrange your insides like furniture, then have the NERVE to tease you for walking funny. You’ll let it slide though…his mouth’s good at other things than just being smart. MASTER at giving head, treats it like an art form, would rather eat a pair of jeans that ever go a day without you on his tongue. 8.5/10. And he for sure takes pictures/videos of you for his viewing pleasure later. Say cheese!’

As you both stared blankly at your screen, him with furrowed brows and you struggling to hold down a smile. Rin eventually kissed his teeth. "Can't even be mad, read me like a damn book. Was this weirdo in the room with us taking notes, or something?"

You chortled, "Don't even joke like that."

"I'm just saying, tweak a few things here and there, you'd think I ghost-wrote this."

"Sooo, I take it you're no longer worried about Atsumu seeing this?"

Suna smirked, "Hell no, at least mine's accurate. Send him the link."

“Your bitch-ass ex is about to piss me off, bro.”

Upon your unannounced arrival into his dorm, courteous of the spar key he gave you for emergencies, you figured now was a good time to exercise that privilege because this was a borderline catastrophe. Granted, you could’ve approached it more delicately, but you were already upset from the nonsense you witnessed on your timeline during your doom-scrolling session.

ARAN gave you a look of disapproval, but decided to address one issue at a time. “First of all, we’ve kissed. Many times. I am well aways from being a ‘bro’. Second, language. Thirdly, when ain’t they pissin’ ya off?”

“Whatever, you better get’em before I do. You know I’m not above drastic solutions, I’ll steal their dog and hold him for ransom, I’m being so forreal.”

He snorted, shaking his head. Closing his laptop to give you his full attention, nodding at the chair across from him for you to take. “How ‘bout we talk first before riskin’ jail.”

You sat down and handed him your phone, “Read that and I bet you’ll be on board in seconds.”

Aran squinted at the screen in confusion, scanning over the contents before his eyes widened to the size of volleyballs and jaw dropping to the table. You nodded in triumph having predicted this reaction, smugly crossing your arms as you said, “Uh-huh. Bet dog-napping sounds pretty good right about now.”

“No.” He deadpanned, but still overtly shook. “What even is this?”

“It’s called ‘The Fu—” a small glare from Aran. You rolled your eyes, correcting yourself, “The Eff-It List’.”

“Ok, I can see that. But, what is it?”

You scoffed, “Basically a perverted forum that talks about strangers and their kinks or whatever. Purely speculative for the most part, but recently they started letting people send in their own entries. And yours came straight from the horse’s mouth.” You reached over to point at an all too familiar username, well aware of it being his ex’s burner account in their hopes to remain anonymous.

'Aran Ojiro. 6’0ft of tall, dark, and handsome. If you’re searching for a Service Dom with a heart of gold, then you’ve come to the right man. When it comes down to the dirty and flirty, this hunk would be an Olympic level threat to the bums in your timeline. Not only plowing a hole straight into your vertebrae but cooking you a bomb-ass meal afterwards that will have you wanting his pants around his ankles for a round who-knows-what. Truly a gentleman, won’t finish until you do at least twice. And aftercare of a God, we’re talking rose petal baths, oil massages, honeyed affirmations, and finishing off with warm cuddles in those beefy arms of his. Yum. Aran’s big on communication; tell him what you like, what you don’t like, whatever you say, goes. Will make you feel like royalty but rearrange your insides like a common concubine. This absolute King gets a 100/10 from us.'

The way his face was scrunched up, you would think he ate something sour. You’ve only ever seen him make such a stank face at the twins whenever their bickering escalated to physical violence. He was silent for a long moment as he analyzed the post, re-reading it again and again only to grow more perturbed. He exhaled deeply through his nose before handing you back the phone, reaching into his pocket to grab his own. Aran began to type while you were in the midst of conjuring up your revenge plan.

“So, I was thinking, they normally walk their dog in the morning before class, like ass-crack of dawn early-“

“Language.”

“-and they’ll most likely have their guard down, right? So I’m thinking you’ll hide in the bushes, ready to release the squirrel we’ll use as bait, and while they’re distracted I’ll sneak from behind with a shovel and-“

“There. It’s been taken care of.”

The words died in your throat, stunned to silence. You blinked a few times in bewilderment, and watching as Aran set his phone down to open his laptop back up and resume working on his assignment. Mentally floundering, you leaned forward with raised eyebrows, “Come again?”

“They’re gonna get the post deleted.”

“Wha—Who?” You squawked.

“My ex. I sent a DM statin’ that we know they’re involved and that I’m not comfortable with this being spread, so unless they want student affairs involved for sexual harassment, they better work on gettin’ that post taken down. Give it a minute, bet it’ll be gone.”

You blinked once more. Then, after a few minutes later of more stunned silence, you refreshed the page. Sure enough…his post wasn’t there anymore. Not a trace of it anywhere, as if it never existed. With a disbelieved chortle, you dropped your phone on the table and slumped back in your chair, staring into space. Aran grinned, eyes trained on his laptop screen as he cheekily said, “Ya did say get’em before you do.”

With a playful huff, you crossed your arms. “Damn killjoy.”

“Language.”

You slowly grinned, mischievously. “…Shit.”

“Oi.”

You raised your hands in mock surrender, relenting as you giggled. Aran shook his head at your antics, resuming his work. However, you leaned forward to push his laptop screen down a little so that his attention was on you once more, pausing his typing fingers. He raised an expectant brow, waiting for you to speak. You gave him a pointed look, “You blocked them after sending that DM, right?”

He snorted, reaching over to gently pat your head. “And reported their account.”

You beamed with satisfaction, leaning back in your chair. “Good. Fuck ‘em—Oop!Waitwait, hang on, it was a slip of the tongue, I forgot, I’m sorry!”

Aran immediately closed his laptop and began to stand, rounding the table to approach you menacingly, although fear wouldn’t be the emotion you’d describe as he closed in on you like prey. You didn’t even attempt to make an escape as he scooped you up in his aforementioned beefy arms, squeals following after your giggles as he carried you into the next room, ready to give you what he deemed a suitable punishment for your potty-mouth.

The king hath spoken.

You fought to contain your laughter at the sight of your boyfriend’s gears visibly turning in his head as he stared at your phone screen, brows furrowed and hands on his hips like a dad judging someone’s front lawn. KITA was at a loss for words, to say the least. Like Aran, it merely confused him upon the first read, and re-reading it over and over aided nothing. You could no longer hold it in when Kita eventually looked at you with a blank face and said, “Not true.”

Tickled, you decided to tease him by feigning ignorance. “Hm? You think so? It sounds pretty accurate to me.”

Kita frowned, leaning over your shoulder to re-read it again, just in case he was missing something you were seeing.

'Shinsuke Kita. 5’9ft of calm before the storm. At first, we chalked Kita up as a boring vanilla, someone that doesn’t like to step outside of the norm, and blends in with the mundane. However, what would appear to be a dreary missionary nightmare can easily be disputed when you take a deeper look into those carmel hues of his. As we’ve mentioned in a previous post, it’s always the quiet ones you need to be cautious of. Sure, he’ll invite you over to show off his beautiful garden, innocent enough. Well…needless to say, his garden won’t be the only place he plants his seed. With the right person, and the right amount of pressure, we believe Kita to be a closeted pervert with a RAGING breeding kink. Whether you can or cannot conceive, it doesn’t matter to him–Mating press, full nelson, prone-bone, you name it, he’s doing it. Then, he’ll tell you about what produce is in season as if you aren’t fighting for your life right after, continuing his day like he didn’t take his time molding your insides to the shape of him. Scary. 10/10'

He shook his head, opinion standing firm. “’s too vulgar. Have I ever been vulgar to ya?”

You pursed your lips, shrugging coyly. “Well…there have been a couple times.”

Kita blinked, then took a minute to think about it. And he thought hard. Slowly, he started to become concerned, contemplating the last time you were intimate in case this were a possibility. Surely you would’ve told him if he was acting out of line…

The act doesn’t last long, especially when he looked back at you and plainly said, “Yer teasin’ me.”

With a small chuckle, you gave up. “Fine, you got me. You have been nothing but a gentleman during sex, I won’t argue that. But, you have to admit, there were a few things in here that were spot on.”

“Like what?” He crouched down, continuing his task.

You gestured around, “Well…you did invite me over to look at your garden.”

Kita paused his pruning, looking around at your pointed observation. He hummed, then gave a small shrug. “Not to jus’ sleep with ya afterward. My intentions were strictly pure.”

“Ok, fair. But, you do want a family.”

“‘s a normal goal to have, and in due time, we’ll accomplish it. Once I’ve married ya, of course. That don’t make me a ‘closeted pervert’.”

You grinned, crossing your arms. “You didn’t deny the ‘raging breeding kink’ part-”

“Look at how well yer favorite sprout’s doin’, love.” He was quick to change the subject, beckoning you to come see for yourself. You humored him, crouching down next to him in the dirt, and happily gazing over his shoulder to watch him delicately handle your leafy little guy.

But, if you squint, you could see a little tinge of pink in Kita’s ears.

© 2025-2026 anisespice ッ all rights reserved. likes, comments & reblogs much appreciated!

[clockwayswrites]

The bitties must cuddle. ""Birdtritch"" Part 5

masterpost

“Nightwing!” Tim shouted, leaning forward on his perch.

Nothing.

Then a black and blue stripped hand poked out of the green feathers in a thumbs up. “I’m okay!”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Nightwing,” Hood grumbled as he stalked forward. “Hey bird brain! Let go of my brother.”

“Aww, he called me brother,” Nightwing cooed over the line.

“…maybe you can keep him after all,” Hood said to the bird thing that had leaned down to peer at him.

The green glint of the bird thing’s eyes reflected off of Hood’s helmet. Then it blinked and in that moment dozens of abstracted cyan eyes blinked into existence around Hood.

Hood reached out to poke at one with the muzzle of his gun. It went right through the ‘eye’. “What the fuck…?”

The bird thing trilled back at Hood.

Tim tapped his comm to open the all channels line. “Um, so, we have… an eldritch bird creature that has been exposed to cuddle pollen. It’s is already cuddling Nightwing and… yep, yeah, now it has Red Hood. Don’t shoot it, Hood! It’s friendly!”

“It’s a fucking menace!”

“A bird?” Robin’s voice piped up.

“Don’t get too excited, baby bat, eldritch bird. It’s the size of an SUV and has too many arms. And eyes. Sorta eyes? And yep, there goes Hood, absorbed by the fluff. Oh great, it’s looking at me now.”

“Avoid the entity, Red Robin,” Batman said across the comms, tone clipped and worried.

“Sorta hard to do, big B. It has a lot of legs right now and all eyes on me. There so many eyes.”

“Avoid the entity!” Batman barked again.

Yeah, like that was going to go well.

-

“Father! Make this creature unhand me at once!” Robin shouted.

“Calm the fuck down, it’s not hurting us,” Red Hood grumbled. “Not that it’s letting us go…”

“Actually pretty comfortable,” Red Robin said in a voice tinged with the edges of sleep. Bruce couldn’t even see a part of Red Robin in the mess of feathers.

Bruce just sighed and pinched his nose. “Boys.”

“Did you just ‘boys’ us?” Nightwing asked, though he sounded like he was enjoying the whole circumstance.

“Yes. Black Bat isn’t involved in this at all,” Bruce said. “So, boys.”

Black Bat’s soft laugh over the line was mostly drowned out by the warble that the bird entity made. Bruce absently started comparing the creature to the types of birds that roosted in Gotham as the surprisingly long neck unfolded and reached out towards him.

He regarded the bird entity steadily.

It warbled again, tilted its head, and then started preening the ears of the cowl.

Bruce sighed heavily.

“Likes you.” Cass’ lyrical words came over the line. Bruce knew that tone. She was taking pictures for blackmail.

(And everyone said girls were easier.)

“I really don’t think it’s going to let us go, B. It might not even be able to with the cuddle pollen,” Nightwing said. Bruce could see the blue tips of the boots now but nothing else.

Bruce hummed. “Gotham doesn’t have the facilities to humanely keep such a creature.”

Robin hit the ground in a crouch and started forward. “Father—”

The bird entity reached out again for Robin with one of its too many limbs. Robin parried with his sheathed blade. The coo that the entity made in response was heart wrenching. Almost instantly Robin deflated at the sound.

He crossed his arms and looked away with a huff. “Fine.”

With a much happier sound, Robin was grabbed carefully around the waist and placed on the bird entity’s back, right behind its next.

“Get off,” Red Robin grumbled from wherever he was in the mass of plumage. Some shifting along the back feathers followed the sleepy words. Then a yawn. “The Cave is the only choice.”

“You can’t be serious,” Red Hood said.

(Bruce thought Red Hood might be clasped firmly under a wing.)

Red Robin yawned again. “Large, secure, safe for us…”

“Yeah, and how the fuck do we get this thing to the Cave?” Red Hood snapped back.

After a considering silence, Black Bat pipped up with that same mischievous lilt. “Idea.”

[o0sleepingdead0o]

Prepared for Anything

Part 2, MasterPost

Danny stared at the ceiling, bored, as the creepy clown laughed manically at a camera. Danny hadn’t been in this dimension for two minutes, (he’d portalled directly into Joker’s hideout) before he was promptly tied to a chair. He could get out of it easily.

Thing was, there were others here, restrained more thoroughly than Danny. They wore colourful, armoured suits and were obviously the vigilantes/heroes of this. . .place—Gotham? Danny’d heard the name mentioned a few times now—This Freakshow wannabe was obviously one of their villains. 

Danny had been hoping someone would show up without having to draw attention to himself. What was this dimension’s stance on halfas? Or ghosts?

But no one had come yet, it had been an hour, and he was getting stiff from sitting here so long without being able to move his limbs.

Danny heaved a loud, exasperated sigh-groan at the ceiling. The guy, face-painted like a toddler who’d gotten into their parent’s make-up, suddenly stopped monologuing. 

Good. It was getting annoying.

“Are you done yet?” Danny complained much like the impatient teenager he was. “I’ve got crap to do, wrap it up, would you?”

Danny came here to explore. He was not exploring. He should be exploring and it was all this dude’s fault.

Danny supposed he could go all ghost on him and bounce, but he came all this way. It wasn’t much of hassle, but still. Danny was stubborn. He knew this.

The warehouse was silent. The creepo wasn’t talking, anymore, he wasn’t doing anything, and Danny deigned to lift his head from where it’d been thrown back on the chair.

The costumed people were looking at him in horror.

Danny wasn’t sure why.

The walking fashion disaster began to cackle with condescending amusement.

Yeah, okay, whatever.

Danny ignored the man’s delve into something about Danny’s impending doom, or threatening him with pain, and something, something, something. Something about broken this, burning that, yada, yada yada, when Danny got an idea.

Behind the chair where his hands were bound, knowing no one was behind him, he quietly broke the ropes on his wrists. The vigilantes—a red one with bandoliers crossing over his chest and one who wore a largely grey and black suit with an R emblem on the left side of his chest—were valiantly trying to dissuade the psycho to leave Danny alone, who now realized the said psycho was coming towards him, carrying a crowbar.

How original.

The Joker, as Danny heard someone call him at some point, he’s not sure when, leaned in close. His breath stank. 

Danny made a disgusted face. “Do you not brush your teeth at all? Gross, dude.”

“You won’t be mak—“

Danny punched him in the jaw. The guy went down pretty easily. 

Danny made an annoyed noise as he bent down to untie his ankles from the chair legs. He muttered to himself. “Stupid villains, always gotta get in the way, why can’t I just have one nice vacation, huh?”

“How did you do that?” 

Danny looked up at the red one. “Do what?” He asked, standing and stretching with satisfying pops.

“Get free.”

“Oh. . .” Danny reached into his hoodie sleeve and pulled out a small hand saw. He guessed he coulda used a knife, but it was the first thing he'd thought of.

The guy spluttered. “You just keep a saw in your sleeve?”

“Yep.” Danny popped the P. No need for them to know he can make portals. As tiny as needed. “You guys want help out of those, or what?” Danny gestured to the chains keeping the two bound on the floor.

“No, Joker’s goons outside probably has the keys, we have back-up. . . .coming. . . .where did you get that?”

Danny didn’t miss a beat as he crouched to get a grip on the chain with the large pair of bolt cutters. “Ah, ya know, never leave home without a good pair of bolt cutters.” He offered. The room they were in was pretty bare, saying he found it “lying around” wouldn’t work. It’d be pretty obvious.

“That is absurd.” The younger one said. “Where did they come from?”

Danny snapped the red one free and moved onto the angry eyebrows one. How did they still emote so well through those masks? “Just had it on hand.”

“But wh—“

“Oh look! There ya go! I gotta go, nice being held hostage with y'all.” Danny ignored their calls for him, climbing out of the nearest window and disappearing.

[namelessgakusei]

EP. 4.2 Faith and Inhibition

Devil May Cry x Reader Insert

Warnings: It's DMC. Based on the New Netflix Series. Spoiler warnings for the actual how. Not proofread. Slightly canon divergent.

EP. 4.1 Belief and Perception (prev.)

EXTRA EP. 4.3 Rabbiting (cont.)

Synopsis: The demons decided to torture Dante one last time before they blow up the plane. Someone "dies" before you all fall to your death and you gain something out of it.

No. Impossible. You're all going to die.

Despite Enzo's confidence that Dante will save you all, no, you're going to die. The plane will explode and everyone will either perish from the blast or fall to their deaths. Yep, this is it, this is how it ends. Surrounded by hostages in a hijacked plane, you'll die at the ripe age of 18. On the bright side, at least you won't die alone???

So much for having faith that it will all work out in the end.

"Wow, my good buddy and protégé, the son of Sparda." Enzo chuckles to himself, leaning closer and squishing you between the two men, looking expectantly at Dante while the other hostages whimpered in fear for their imminent deaths. Dante gapes at the older man, sighing loudly in response. "Come on, even if my dad might have been demon, Sparda isn't real."

"He's their version of the boogeyman."

"Your necklace is real." Your muffled voice cuts in, making Dante turn to your with a frown. "Not helping." He retorts.

The blue demon steps forward, agreeing that his father is indeed the demon knight. "Take it from us who've been living with the fallout of his betrayal for the last two millennia." Dante scoffs at the mention of the amount of years it has been, insisting that it couldn't be possible after all. You sighed, he's being in denial again, gaslighting himself just like what the White Rabbit said.

"You really think my dad is a demon from 2000 years ago?"

"Dante."

"How old do I look?"

"Dante."

You meet his eyes, it's shaking. He knows what he's doing, yet he still doesn't want to accept things as they are.

Dante’s scared.

Who wouldn't if you found out that the blood of the monsters who killed your family runs inside you?

You don't know what to say. You're not prepared. You're scared too! But Dante is... He's the one that's going through something worse in the room right now. You're thankful for your chatterbox of an adoptive father for filling the silence, making you lean to Dante as Enzo scoots closer, tattling on about how he had an inkling that the boy was part demon. "I just couldn't figure how, but you being Sparda's son explains everything."

"He's the good demon."

Dante's expression relaxed at that.

Enzo continues, proud even, as he convinces Dante that he's good regardless of his heritage. "That's what's in your blood. You get it?" Well, what do you know. Enzo's pretty good at lifting people up. If he was more shrewd, you'll understand how he's still a broker after all these years. Dante smirks at his words, fear creeping off of him.

"Let's see if he's right." The warm atmosphere went as it came due to Agni walking towards Dante, scraping his sword at the floor, releasing a grating sound as the demon grins. He stops a bit short from the half-demon, pointing his sword at the hostages before it turns to Dante. "You heard Rabbit. Either you stop us, or we blow them out of the sky."

Perhaps invigorated by Enzo's words, Dante returned to his usual cocky persona, smirking at the two demons with an insult. "What are you gonna do? Form half a Captain Planet?" He'll just keep bringing trouble, won't he? You shook your head, slightly amused at his brazenness. Rudra wasn't on the same page, however, as he leaned closer to where you sat. "I wouldn't be so cocky, mate."

"After all, you failed at saving your own mom and brother."

"And you led your own family to their deaths."

Both of you froze as flashbacks of those memories came back. Dante remembers the closet, the fire, Eva's body and Vergil's screams; while you remembered the bloody house you went home to.

"Oh yeah. Rabbit knows all about what happened to them too."

"How you two just stood as they died."

Dante shuts his eyes, willing himself to get past the sickening feeling in his stomach. The memory of his mother's corpse and the smell of something burning is still fresh in his mind. You weren't any better, nearly hyperventilating at the memory of your brother, barely breathing, as he spoke his last words to you. It's your fault that it happened. It's all your fault, you weren't thinking, and now you're forced to remember that event once again—

"We were helpless kids when those demons attacked us."

You flinched at Dante's voice, only able to look up at him as he stood up to face the two demons, eyes watering from the emotional pressure. How can he still stand strong like that? Your fates are uncertain at the moment, but he remains steadfast, confident that everything will work out.

Have faith that everything will work out.

Damn it.

"We're not one anymore." He grunts as he rips off his restraints despite how it was draining his energy. So you could brute force it? The hell?? You squirmed in yours and felt it draining your will already, but looking at how it broke off from Dante's weakened strength, you may have a chance if you time it right.

"Well, let's see if we could make you a little nostalgic." Rudra smirks, and so, the fight begins.

Fists flew in the air as the two demons ganged up on Dante, with him barely managing to go toe on toe due to his strength still being weak, courtesy of the appendage-like restraints from earlier. With your wardens distracted, you got to work, the restraints get a little loose if you stretch it as big as you can, but still not giving you a way out. That little leeway is enough for you. You might not have the strength to break this off, you're confident in your own flexibility.

You only need a little space to get your arms out of your coat.

Agni conjures a fireball and blasts it towards Dante, who froze upon seeing the fire due to its association for that night, making his reaction time a bit late as he dodged the attack. "Poor little half-breed. Gets hit with one measly fireball and turns into a whimpering baby." Dante's breathing started to get heavy as he tried to compose himself, rushing towards Rudra to deliver a punch, only to get slammed to the wall by the demon's ability. The impact damaged the plane so much that alarms started going off, with the pilot struggling to keep the aircraft flying properly.

"Seems like that strength Sparda gave you won't be much use up here." Agni mocks the hyperventilating Dante, who is getting haunted by the memories of his mother's death at the moment. "As useless as the man himself." Rudra grabbed Dante by his coat and threw him on the ground before levitating him off of it, restricting his airflow at the same time.

"The way we heard it, he didn't even bother showing up to protect you—"

The fireball from the red demon quickly disappeared as Agni chokes, his neck ensnared with your restraints as you clung to his back, his own energy quickly seeping out the more he struggled out of it. You were quickly pried off the red demon by his brother, and was slammed towards Dante with such force that it nearly knocked you out, with the other not being any better as he coughed out blood.

Everything was ringing, your body hurts like hell, you don't even have the energy to move— Someone's approaching... Agni's about to land a strike...! Your vision cleared almost immediately as you screamed. "Jump!"

The demon's fist landed on the luggage that you two landed on, scattering the litter of items across the plane, with Dante going to the left and behind Agni as you jumped up to avoid the attack, using the demon’s head as a leverage to perform a somersault to get around him. What you didn’t account for is that Rudra’s waiting behind his brother, grabbing hold of your torso, trapping your right arm with it, and slamming you to the wall before you could land on your feet. Dante screams your name before Agni punches him. “I’m disappointed in you, mate.”

“And here I thought you’ll understand us the most, given how you helped us out before.” Rudra’s words brought back the memories from the warehouse, the faces of the demons locked up and used as shooting targets for DARKCOM soldiers, and the cages you unlocked. His smirk made your head throb, adding to the psychological stress, as tears started to threaten to fall from your eyes. ”Look on the bright side.” Agni taunts Dante as the young man fights off the two demons, desperately kicking and punching Rudra to free you while avoiding Agni’s Agnited punches. "After watching your families die,"

"Watching these people die should be easy for you." Your body slowly starts to get crushed from the demon’s grip, restricting your airflow as black spots appear in your vision; meanwhile, Dante’s fighting off with his own trauma as Agni purposely sets himself on fire when the former catches his fists. "Aw. The one time you're fighting for something other than yourself, and this is how you do it?" The demon mocks him before delivering a clean headbutt that sends the agitated Dante to the other side of the plane, reducing him to his knees, as Agni procures Rebellion from behind. "Rabbit was right about you."

You’re going to die. You’re going to die…! I don’t want to die! A turbulence slightly shook the plane, and a metal clanged near your foot. Even in your blurry vision, an idea crossed over your mind. You don’t know what will happen, this is just a reckless action, born from desperation.

The sword glints, reflecting the hyperventilating Dante, before he gets slashed by his own sword at the chest. “Dante…!” You wheezed as he collapsed, with Agni cackling at his expense. "You're just like your dad." 

You stomped at a fire extinguisher, one that had already lost its pin from the chaos from earlier, making it spin violently across the plane while discharging smoke everywhere, rendering visibility to little to none. You hoped that this would at least help Dante as your eyes started to roll back, with a cry being the last thing you hear as you slip to unconsciousness.

…

He can hear your heartbeat.

Dante lies on the ground, with blood spurting out of his chest wound, one that is already healing due to his abilities. Agni laughs over his body, but he cannot hear the demon. The hostages are crying, but he can’t hear them either. His head is ringing. He can’t breathe. It’s only you that he can sense right now.

You’re dying.

Dante could only watch as your life is being squeezed out of your body.  

Will he be forced to see a loved one die again? Will he be just like before, a helpless boy? He promised to protect you, yet he couldn’t even face some demons who reminded him of his past.

Rudra is mocking you as he crushes you to your death. Those demons are trying to take everything from him again! He heard your bones cracking, the sharp inhale and the way you wheezed for air. At this rate, you won’t last! No! Not you. Please, not you…! He wasn’t able to do anything back then, but right now it’s different! He’s stronger now! He can protect those that matter to him! 

Yet he can’t do anything.

Was it true, after all? That he’s a hellblood? That he’s the son of Sparda? That he’s just like his dad?

“Your dad was a brave warrior.”

Eva’s voice echoes in his head. The memory of his mother that night flashes in his eyes as it starts to water from helplessness.

“The bravest who ever lived.”

He remembers her smile, how gentle it is, as she describes his father, her husband, with such affection. He wanted to meet him. To know the man that his mother speaks so highly of, to be reunited with the father he never knew.

“He fought against all the bad things so we could be free.”

Something snapped within him.

White smoke filled the room as a fire extinguisher hit Agni on the head, exploding upon contact with his flames just as he was about to deliver the finishing blow on Dante. A flash of red lunged at him, snatching Rebellion and sending the demon flying towards his brother in a split second. Before you could fall to the floor, an arm catches you, relatively human compared to the other that your savior has.

You woke up with a cough, heaving for breath while groaning in pain. Everything hurts, except for your left arm. But at least you can breathe now—

"Dante?" You croaked, looking up at the young man who now has a part of his face painted in red, with golden cracks crawling across it. His irises are sharp while his sclera looks far worse than just being bloodshot. His other arm holds Rebellion, but unlike what a human limb should look like, Dante's right arm transformed into something else. It's bigger, larger, with skin that looks tougher than an animal's and nails sharp enough to cut through anything.

The hostages panicked at the development, fear creeping in due to the uncertainty of the situation. Enzo on the other hand, looked at Dante in awe. The vice president mirrors his expression, but with the glint of something else as he marvels at Dante's current transformation. "Truly... remarkable...!"

Despite his appearance, with red electricity crackling around the two of you, the way he looked at you is of obvious worry and concern.

"I got you." He smiles, and he doesn't know if the relief is because he got to you in time or if you're still alive. Both, he thinks, as he repeats his words, exhaling as he closes his eyes. He got to you in time...

"He's ready. Blow the charges." Rudra stood up from the ground, reaching for the switch that was entrusted to him, only for his brother to cut in. "Yeah..." Agni raises a hand, eyes focused on the two of you, before glowering. "Just give me a second to kill him first." With a snap of his fingers, he gets enveloped with fire that soon morphes into a scimitar. "We could say he died in the blast." The red demon smirks before lunging towards you.

"Can you stand?" Dante whispers before supporting you up. The second you winced however, he hoisted you up his arms and proceeded to dodge every swing of Agni's weapon with you in tow.

The moment the red demon missed was when he retaliated, throwing you up in the air as he slashes Agni's arm off, with it flying upwards. "Getting killed with your own sword?" You grinned at Dante's words and grabbed the hilt of the scimitar, twisting your body for momentum due to how heavy it is and grotesquely beheading Agni using the serrated side of his weapon. "That'll be pretty embarrassing."

You fall back to the ground, heaving from the weight of his sword, confused that Agni's body just stood there as his head rolls off. Dante's body starts to go back to normal as the sparks went down and everyone went quiet from what just happened, before the red demon laughed from the floor, dispersing in a bright red light alongside his body and getting absorbed by his weapon. The scimitar became relatively lighter in your hands, where you could easily wield it on your own. "What—"

"I've been waiting a long time for this!" Agni's voice echoed from the scimitar, dripping with pride and confidence as he guffaws. Rudra doesn't seem to share his sentiment, however.

The blue demon looked distraught at the current situation. "Brother!" He cries, frantically looking for the detonator he had, only to find nothing and remembering the way you snuck behind the two of them to immobilize Agni. "Looking for this?" You grinned like a maniac after revealing the now-damaged detonator, courtesy of how the demon nearly crushed you to death.

"You're not worthy of him..." Rudra calms down and readies his own sword, one that matches the one in your hands, glaring at you as wind picks up in the plane. "Give me back my brother!"

Your eyes widened. While there might not be bombs, there are other ways to take the plane down. Dante moved faster than you, rushing towards Rudra to stop his attack.

But it was too late.

Everyone screamed after it happened.

The air sliced the plane in pieces, sending everyone on board to fall to the city below.

taglist!: @mischiefmanaged71 @tamashithe2nd @im-just-a-simp-le-whore @96jnie @flwerie @deathrye @that-dumb-bitch @sleepykittycx @sidewalkenforcer @devil-might-sob @sophrickingfunny

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Hello my dear! So excited for Kinkfest! Could I please request praise kink & size kink with Mr. Sex-On-Legs himself, Billy Russo? 😍

Thank you so much for requesting, everyone seems to like size kink with this man!

Masterlist

A soft touch

Contains: Protective Billy, violence, oral sex (f receiving) fingering, P in V, fluff.

1.3K words

Billy is very gentle and sweet, at least with you he is.

Billy was so proud, the charity auction you had put on for Curt's group had raked in more than enough to keep the doors open and butts in seats for months to come. To make matters even better, he got to stick to the rich assholes who acted like donating a few bucks on their out of the Anvil office was saving humanity.

He walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulders as he whispered into your ear. "You did good tonight gorgeous."

You craned your head and kissed him, and his fingertips grazed your cheek as he spun around to pull you close. "You wanna get out of here?"

Billy grinned. "Fuck yeah."

He took her hand and led you outside, but before he could open the car a shout stopped you both in your tracks. "Hey, baby why don't you leave the pretty boy and have some fun with me?"

Billy went stiff as a board, placing you behind him so he could stand between you and the yelling man. "Billy, let's just go."

You didn't have time, the man was already swagging over, his drunk gate wobbling as he walked. You wrapped your hand around his upper arm and tried to pull him, but it made no difference. "You should listen to your girl buddy, you wouldn't want to embarrass yourself getting into a fight you can't win."

You tended to forget how tall Billy really was, how imposing his height could be with just a change in his mood because he never gave you a reason to notice it. "Go the fuck home, I won't ask again."

Damn alcohol and its effects because all the man did was laugh and rear his fist back. Billy didn't even need to think to stop it, he just dropped the man with one punch. He watched the man get up and hobble away, ignoring the string of obscenities that came from his mouth. He placed his hand on your lower back as he opened the car door and helped you inside. "Sorry about that gorgeous."

You reached out and grabbed his hand, looking over his bruised knuckles as he smiled down at you. "Are you alright?"

He nodded. "Yep, that guy was nothing."

He pushed your door closed and climbed into the driver's seat, kicking the car over as his hand found your tight. "Let's go home."

****

Billy placed his folded suit jacket over the chair back and cleaned his bruised hand in the sink before walking behind you and unzipping your dress. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?"

You nodded. "Twice."

He kissed a path from shoulder to shoulder across your upper back, ending up kissing a line from shoulder dome to neck until his lips were at your ear. "Then let me tell you again, you look beautiful."

Your dress fell to the floor, and he walked in front of you, stretching his hand out for you to take so you could step out of the pile. He walked you to the edge of the bed and paused, his eyes moving up and down your body to take in the lacy set of lingerie. "I'm am the luckiest man on the planet."

You unbuttoned his dress shirt as he slid the straps of your bra off your shoulders, licking his lips at the newly revealed skin when it hit the floor. He stilled for a moment, his fingers drifting down your chest until his thumb was circling a nipple with the softness of freshly fallen snow, and then the air caught, and his lips slammed into yours. There was a rush to shed the rest of your clothes, and then you were scurrying up the bed with Billy hovering over you.

He was rock hard, his long, thick cock standing attention as the tip leaked with his arousal. His lips were on yours again, all lust and heat and his massive hands grabbed at whatever flesh he could reach. It was hard to know where to touch, there was just so much of him that it left you spoiled for choice. His back rippled under your hands as you dug your nails into his skin when his lips sealed around a nipple, your head falling back into the pillows as heat filled you.

The other one got the same treatment and soon enough, he was pressing kissing all over your abdomen on his way further down. He lifted your legs over his shoulder and kissed every inch of your thighs that he could reach before looking up at you through his long eyelashes. "Can I?"

"Yes please."

You loved the way he held you when he did this, his forearm thrown over your hips, keeping you still while he licked at you like he wanted to win some prize and the other holding your thigh, his fingers pressing into the skin in indistinct patterns like he was typing out a code. A gasp caught in your throat as the hand on your thigh moved towards your centre, his fingers slipping under his lips as he slid them inside you.

His thumb replaced his mouth, and he looked up at you with a soft smile. "Does that feel good, Sweetheart?"

"Yes." His lips were back on you as he stroked your G-spot with his calloused fingertips as you wove your hands into his hair. Pleasure zipped up your spine with each pass of his tongue and curl of his fingers and you yanked his hair as he moaned against you. "Billy.." He groaned an affirmative, and you held him to you as you came, him riding the wave with you until your hips stilled against the bed.

He pulled away, wiping his face with the back of his hand before kissing a line up your body to your lips. He took your face in his face, resting his forehead against yours and smiled. "You're so good for me." You spread your legs and he settled between them, gripping his cock and rubbing it up and down your slit. "Can I?"

"Yes please." He didn't leave you waiting, sliding home with a grunt as he hiked your legs over his waist with one hand.

He buried his face in your neck as he started to rock his hips, his voice tight with pleasure as he spoke. "My good girl, I love you so much."

He shifted angles to hit your G-spot as he picked up sped, and you tilted your head to the side to give him more room to suck at your neck as he ran one hand downwards, between your bodies to rub your clit. His lips broke away from your flesh so he could gaze into your eyes, his face filled with affection as he watched your expression fill with pleasure. "Can you give me another one?"

You gasped and nodded with each hitch of his lips, and he smiled. "I know you can." Your nails dug into his back as the edge approached and he kissed you again, nibbling your lower lip as he pushed you into a spine snapping orgasm. "Good girl."

He shifted again, putting his weight onto his hands as he chased his high. With one last thrust, he collapsed on top of you, his chest heaving as he kissed you softly. He rolled off you, moving onto his back to take you with him so your head rested on his chest. "Thank you gorgeous girl."

You sighed. "I should be thanking you."

He smirked and pressed his lips to your temple. "No, you have no idea how much I love you."

You turned your head and pressed a kiss to his firm chest. "I do, and I love you too."

He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your hair. "I'll run you a bath in a bit, I just want to hold you a little longer."

You laid your face on his cheek, and his eye fluttered closed. "I like the sound of that."

Fin

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Idia Shroud - Room Relaxation Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Idia: …Hrrm, I can't find the 15th Anniversary special Star Rogue diorama.

Idia: I told Sam-shi I'd look for it myself, so I wouldn't have to deal with him talking to me, but… There's way too much stuff here to look through!

Idia: And I came all this way 'cause I wasn't fast enough to get it online.

Idia: I can't go back empty-handed after telling Ortho that there's no way I wouldn't get my hands on one as a number one fanboy!

Idia: Oho? This shelf over here has a ton of specialty figures and other hobby stuff… EEHHHH!?

[products fall of shelf]

Idia: OUCH! OW OW OW!!

Jack: Woah!? That was close! Some of the falling goods almost scraped by my nose…

Idia: I-I-I didn't do anything! They just fell off on their own since they were thrown haphazardly onto the shelf!!

[Idia runs away]

Jack: Huh? No one said it was your fault or nothin'…

Jack: …What the, he's already gone! Idia-senpai… He looks slow and frail, but is he secretly actually pretty nimble?

Jack: Oh, man, and he just left everything on the ground. Ugh, I guess I'll have to…

Jack: …Hm? Isn't this box the one Ortho mentioned today…?

[Ignihyde Dorm – Idia's Room]

Idia: …Haah. And in the end, I just ran away… Without a Star Rogue diorama…

Idia: It's all because they sold it first-come-first-serve, instead of pre-order... Not my fault what happened earlier…

Idia: If I went back now, that terrifying beast of a man from Savanaclaw might still be there. I'll try again tomorrow…

Idia: K. Now that I've decide that, time to get all the annoying dorm work stuff done!

Idia: Uhhh, so, the notices I have to give the other dorm students are… Oh, right, the equipment replacement schedule, and the AC inspection time.

Idia: Just in case, I'll add "Important", "Good News", "Response Required", and "Read Immediately" to the subject… K, sent.

Idia: It sure is hard work bein' a Housewarden. Thought it's not that bad since I implemented a chat app once I became Housewarden.

Idia: Efficiency above all! No face-to-face meetings! Conserving my own energy is the best way to do things!

Idia: Finished all my Housewarden tasks, and even took a shower, as annoying as it is. I'm awesome. I'd give myself 100,000,000 points out of 100.

Idia: Nice, so… It's finally me time!

[Ignihyde Dorm – Idia's Room]

Idia: Ah, I got a message from Ortho… He's spending the night in the first year rooms, huh.

Idia: Then, I guess I can just game all night by myself! Fheeheehee!

 [beep, beep!]

Idia: Hm…? What's with this reminder…? Man, right when I was getting into things.

「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」

Idia: Ugh.. Right, that was a thing. You don't really see paper surveys anymore. Let me think, it should be around… Yep, here it is.

Idia: Uhhh, so what, they want to know what I'd like improved? I mean, kinda late to ask a third-year, isn't it? I can't really think of anything.

Idia: Sides, there were stuff I used to not like about the dorm, but I already made upgrades to all that stuff.

Idia: We soundproofed the walls and floors, installed commercial-grade AC, and the dorm-wide servers are of my own technical specs.

Idia: To live the perfect shut-in life, we can't not have walls that can't take loud shouting, or ACs that can't keep overclocked PCs cool, so～

Idia: …Ah, wait a mo'. I just thought of one issue I got. "There's not enough electrical outlets"!!

Idia: This kinda stuff needed specialized qualifications to do, so it's not like I coulda bought the parts and DIY it.

Idia: I'm using a power strip for now 'cause I have to, but I hate how the wiring just looks like spaghetti. Even a master wiring tech like myself can't stand a sight like that!

Idia: Oh, I just thought of one more thing. "I want to have the low-capacity breaker replaced"!

Idia: It's so weak that the breaker flips just 'cause I try to have 4 computers, the server, a 3D printer, microwave, and electric kettle all plugged in at once!

Idia: I mean, I'd set up a UPS (uninterruptible power supply) system in case of emergencies, so my computers and server was fine, but...

Idia: Because of that, my plan to add an AC unit and a refrigerator in my room went out the window. That was a nightmare. Oh, and…

Idia: …Dyehehe. I said I couldn't really think of any, but it's hilarious how the ideas keep flowin' out.

Idia: I'll attach some of the numbers we have on the cost of estimated damages by having Ignihyde students continue to use those useless breakers.

Idia: The Headmage is pretty much influenced by profits, so. If I explain how it's necessary to get better equipment, then he might listen to improvement suggestions.

Idia: Nice, mission clear. Time to watch some new anime episodes while grinding levels in my gams.

Idia: See, nothing beats watching anime while mindlessly leveling… Ooh, I pulled a rare one!

Idia: I thought I'd be bored of this anime 3 episodes in, too, but it's actually starting to get interesting!

Idia: Well, now that the mood's getting good, I just gotta let loose! TIME FOR A SNACK PARTY!!

Idia: …Huh? I'm out of my favorite snack. Ugh, I completely forgot to re-order some more when I ate all of it last time.

Idia: If only the Mystery Shop had 24-hour delivery service… Maybe I should add that to the survey?

Idia: Nah, nevermind, I should just focus on the anime. NOTHING'S GONNA BRING ME DOWN!

Idia: Woah, the animation's clean…! They're all movin' so smoothly… Maybe the production team changed this week?

Idia: I'm getting pretty into the main theme song, too! Heehee, fheeheehee…!

[Ignihyde Dorm – Idia's Room]

Idia: Urrghnn… Aaarghh…

[～♪]

Idia: Gah! Urgh, what's that noise…? What time is it right now…?

Idia: Urk! Everything's so bright, I can't see anything… How's it morning already…? Wait, before that, where'd that noise come from…!?

Idia: Huh…? Ortho…? Weren't you spending the night with the other first years…? Oh wait, is this just a message…?

Idia: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"…? Oh, right, today's my birthday! I completely forgot, since there wasn't anything to look forward to…

Idia: I'll just write back… Thanks, Ortho.

Idia: Urp…! But now I feel a bit sick…! And my whole body hurts…!

Idia: I fell asleep running my games, and I'm just stiff all over. Can't I just go move to my bed and go back to sleep?

Idia: Nah, if I end up crashing and forget to login and get all the birthday login voice lines, I'll never recover. Gotta wash my face or something…

Idia: Woah, I can see how crazy my bedhead is reflected in the monitor! I think this every time, but why does my hair end up this bad whenever I fall asleep at my desk?

Idia: Kinda looks punk, but that's totally a different vibe from my usual, lawl.

Idia: Meh, my hair can be whatever. Not like anyone looks at me, anyway.

Idia: It's a pain to go all the way to the washroom… I'll just use magic like I normally do. I'll chill the water, then.

[splash!]

Idia: WHEEEEW, THAT COLD WATER HITS JUST RIGHT!!

Idia: Normally, I'd just leave it here, but… My face feels so dry after pulling that all-nighter.

Idia: But I'm all good. I'm a functioning nerd, so I know how to fix it.

Idia: Ta-da～ I don't really get it, but here I go with the number one most popular all-in-one cream～

Idia: Putting on lotion and moisturizer one at a time is a waste of time. Just plap it on, and ta-da, done. Next is my clothes…

Idia: Nah, nevermind, I'm not gonna change. Now all I have to do is to jump into all my games and collect the birthday login voice lines. Fheeheehee.

Idia: Perf, I've gotten them all for now. …Huh? There's another message from Ortho…

Idia: …HUH!? HE GOT THE 15TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL STAR ROGUE DIORAMA!? SERIOUSLY!?

Idia: "I was planning on picking it up in the Mystery Shop after classes, but if you can't wait, you can go pick it up whenever"…?

Idia: Well, I gotta go right now, then! That means I have to finish getting ready.

Idia: I don't really wanna go outside, but… I can't keep my poor Star Rogue waiting! Hyah!

[Idia magics hair and clothes]

Idia: K, bedhead fixed. And now, onwards, to the Mystery Shop!!

[Main Street]

Idia: Fheeheehee…! Look at this craftsmanship…! It looks just like the scene I imagined as a kid!

Idia: Ortho… Did you look for this Star Rogue diorama because you knew I was sad I didn't get it?

Idia: Wheew～ The best thing in the world is a little brother who thinks the world of his older brother, and is really good at search functions～!

Jack: Hm? Is that… Idia-senpai? Good morning.

Idia: GYAAAAAA!? J-Jack-shi…? Why are we making contact two days in a row…?

Jack: I mean, it's not really anything, but… I heard from Ortho yesterday that today was your birthday, is all.

[Idia runs away]

Jack: Happy Birthday. So, uh, did you get what you were looking…

Jack: Huh, he's already gone! Ugh, I don't get him at all.

Requested by @farfalla049.

[the--blackdahlia]

Wild Horses (Beetlejuice x Reader)

Title: Wild Horses

Summary: Lydia keeps summoning Beetlejuice away from (Y/n) right when they get to the good part. He wants to know why.

Warning: Hinted sexual content, body image issues

“Mmm babes, you smell delicious,” Beetlejuice started kissing behind (y/n)’s ear, smirking at the reaction he was getting from her. They were both on her bed, where they had been listening to music and talking, but now, Beetlejuice had other things in mind.

“Beej, the door’s open,” (Y/n) was trying to find an excuse to get him to stop. She wanted to go on, she really liked him, but insecurities had a tendency to get the best of her. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and the door shut, the loud creaking of the hinges echoing down the hall.

“There, that’s taken care of,” He went back to kissing (Y/n)’s neck.

“Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!” He heard Lydia summon him. With a loud groan, he left (Y/n)’s side and appeared in the dining room, where Lydia, Barbara, and Adam were set around the table.

“What is so fucking important?!” He snapped.

“We need a fourth for cards. Matilda’s at work.” Beetlejuice stood there for a second, just staring at her. She swore she could see the red spreading across his ashy skin.

“YOU FUCKING SUMMONED ME TO PLAY CARDS?!” He exploded, and the Maitlands could practically see smoke coming out of his ears.

“Yes I did. Now come sit,” Lydia was calm, used to Beetlejuice’s tantrums. She had even set up a little corner in a couple of the rooms for him to throw tantrums in. Matilda had even made signs for them during craft night at the library. Beetlejuice grumbled but took a seat across from Lydia.

“Five card stud? Texas Hold ‘Em? Stripping?” Beetlejuice wiggled his eyebrows.

“We’re playing Spades,” Barbara smiled at him, and Beetlejuice groaned.

“You pulled me away from a fucking sexy woman…to play Spades?”

“Yep. Adam’s dealer first,” Lydia gave Beetlejuice a shit-eating grin. Beetlejuice let out the most annoyed groan before picking up his cards to play the game.

****

That’s how things went over the next few weeks. Every time Beetlejuice started to get intimate, Matilda or Lydia would summon him away from (Y/n). It was really starting to annoy him, especially when he would go back to pick up where he left off and (Y/n) would be asleep or otherwise preoccupied.

Finally, after Lydia pulled him away to go have lunch with Matilda, he just about had enough.

“Why do you keep doing this shit to me Lyds?” He grumbled as the three sat in the parking lot of the Subway close to their house.

“Can’t I just spend time with my friend?” She sounded so innocent, but he knew there was something deeper behind her words.

“You never wanted to do that all the time until I got with (Y/n). So what’s up?” Matilda and Lydia looked at each other.

“Maybe we should tell him,” Matilda took a bite of her Miss Vickie’s.

“Okay, okay,” Lydia took a drink before turning to look at Beetlejuice. “(Y/n) hates the way her body looks. And she’s worried that you’ll find her repulsive.”

“...She does realize I’m a dead guy, right?” Beetlejuice looked at Lydia and Matilda like they had two heads. “I mean, she would legit be fucking a zombie pretty much.”

“Gross,” Matilda commented, making Beetlejuice roll his eyes.

“That’s it. I’ve got to fix this,” Beetlejuice had a look in his eye as ideas came pouring in. He knew what he needed to do.

****

“I’m home!” (Y/n) called out, carrying groceries in. “Hello?” The house was eerily silent. (Y/n) looked at the fridge and saw a note from Lydia.

‘Date night with Matilda. Be back late. -Lydia’

“Hmmm, okay,” She worked on putting groceries away. “Beej, you home?” She called out but didn’t hear him. She sighed and grabbed the drink she had bought herself and headed up the stairs to her room to read and relax.

Upon approaching her door, she could hear what sounded to be the Rolling Stones playing. Pushing open the door, she saw Beetlejuice sitting on her bed, guitar in hand, with dead flowers surrounding him. He was singing, but it sounded more like Mick Jagger than him.

“Wild horses. Couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses. Couldn't drag me away,” Beetlejuice sang to (Y/n). She sat her drink on her desk and walked towards him. He stopped playing when she saw by him.

“What’s all this about?” She picked up one of the dying daises and slipped it on top of her ear.

“I thought it’d be…romantic?” He couldn’t stop staring at her. “You’re beautiful.”

“Beej…”

“Nope. No arguing with me. I mean,” The guitar disappeared as he stood up. “I’m literally a dead guy. And you are the most beautiful breather I’ve ever seen.”

“Guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one,” (Y/n) was suddenly taken aback when Beetlejuice took her face in his hands.

“We’re not leaving this room until I prove to you that you are beautiful,” He got a wicked smile on his face. “And babe, I can go all night.”

[creepycranberry]

Big Black Car-

Rafe Cameron X Maybank!reader

2

Warnings: slow burn, L*ke, topper is very much noncanon compliant (he’s like a mix of topper and Austin’s character in IDDI), alcohol, abuse, parental death, not proofread, kook/pogue bullshit, swearing, w*rd, let me know about anything else.

________

Party music blares from the speakers over near the bonfire, making the headache you’re doing your best to ignore all the more apparent. The air is slightly crisp, October coming in hot, blowing away the last bit of summer heat.

You take a sip of your cold Shirley Temple, unlike your little brother you don’t drink alcohol. Your brother, JJ, is shitfaced on the other side of the beach, laughing with John B and Pope.

You really just came to make sure they don’t do anything stupid while Kie is away on a family vacation.

“‘You here alone?”

Topper walks up behind you, ruffling your hair and taking your drink from your hands, taking a sip to see what it is.

“Mhm.” You hum.

“You still on that no alcohol bullshit?” Topper asks as he hands you back your drink, slurring his words ever so slightly.

“Yep. You oughta go get yourself a water before you drink anymore, otherwise you’ll have a fucking relentless headache in the morning.” You say, standing on your tiptoes to hold the cold cup against his neck, “where’re the other two?”

“Uh, I don’t know where Kelce went but Rafe had a previous engagement.”

You hum in response, “so I’m guessing that’s where Sarah is as well?”

“Yep.”

“Well I’d hate to leave you all alone but I’m about to leave, I have a couple things to do at home.”

Topper makes a pouty face at you and you laugh, “Topper, I would love to stay to keep you company, and I’ll make it up to you, we can hang out another time. But for right now I’ve gotta find my brother and tell him I’m leaving and-“

JJ isn’t where you left him.

“Is that shithead here?”

You roll your eyes and nod, “of course. Would I be here otherwise?”

“Fair.” Topper exhales.

You knew Topper fairly well, his family knew your late father pretty well, you’re in the same class, have been since grade school. He's alright, a bit hotheaded and small minded but nothing you can’t deal with.

He’s better than rafe at least.

“Wait, where is he?” You say, looking around a bit more frantically.

“Where’d you see him last?” Topper asks.

“He was just over there.” You say, making your way over to the other side of the beach, “JJ!”

“Yes?” A voice calls and you see an odd shape in the shallow water, where the wet sand meets the salty ocean.

“ fuckwad.” You mumble, “I’m about to head home. Are you staying at John B’s?” You Ask, sitting next to where he’s laying on the beach.

“What do you think?” He sighs and you exhale through your nose.

“Alright then. Stay safe, don’t start any fights cause I won’t be here to help you out of them.” You Play with the blond strands nearest to his face as he nods.

“Alrighty.”

You Get up and dust the sand off of your butt, walking to where your old car sits on the lawn.

You open the car door and sit in the drivers seat, starting the car and flipping through radio stations for a little bit before settling on driving in silence.

You drive for an hour or two, avoiding going home for as long as possible and hoping your dad is passed out on the sofa by the time you get there.

But luck just can’t give you a break.

“Where’ve you been?”

Your father is sitting on the couch with what is most likely his seventh beer of the evening.

“I went to the beach, and then for a drive.”

“That was a hell of a long drive. Where’s your baby brother?” He asks.

You want to argue that he’s not exactly a baby anymore but you don’t say anything, “he’s at John B’s. You know, like every other summer.”

Your father just nods, taking a sip of his beer and looking away from you, which means you’re dismissed for the evening.

You sneak out the back door after packing a bag.

Kie’s parents let you house sit while they were away, that way you can make a little extra money. You’re pretty sure they just let you do it because they don’t want the money they give you to feel like a handout.

They’ve let you work at the wreck since you were thirteen and JJ was eleven. JJ would be wherever with Kie and the boys, and you would be in the back washing dishes for about five dollars an hour.

It was enough to get something for you and JJ to eat.

Back then Luke still didn’t mind paying rent.

You get in your car and drive to the other side of the island, making sure to lock the car as you get out.

You unlock the front door with the spare key they gave you, leaving your bag in the guest room and then going down to the kitchen to make yourself a small salad and head up to the guest room, turning on the tv and eating your dinner.

~•~•~•~•~•~

You wake up to a car horn and some yelling.

You look at the clock by the bed, 9:00.

You groan and get up, looking out the blinds.

Topper is sitting in a truck bed, hooting and hollering, whoever is in the front seat is laying on the horn.

You groan again and open the window.

“Maybank! Get down here kid!” Topper yells to you and whoever was leaning on the horn stops.

“People are sleeping, asshole!” You yell back to him.

“Aw come on, please.”

You grumble and close the window, putting on shorts as you stumble out of the guest room. you grab your purse and hoodie and go down the stairs, making sure to turn the security alarm on before leaving the house.

You lock the front door and go down the walk to where topper is now leaning on the truck door.

“Topper, what the hell are we doing?” An unfortunately familiar voice shouts from the front of the truck, “why are we picking up this fucking pogue?”

“Are you guys still on with all that kook and pogue bullshit?” You ask, moving your bangs out of your eyes.

“Whatever.” Rafe mumbles.

“Will you two get along for like two seconds?” Topper says.

“I’ll be glad to pretend he just doesn’t exist.” You shrug.

“Why do you even hang out with her dude? What is it like charity or something?” Rafe asks topper, ignoring you.

“She’s cool, dude. You would like her if you just got to know her.” Topper insists.

“Rafe doesn’t like anybody.” You shrug, getting in the truck.

Topper gets in the passenger seat and shakes his head, “she’s not like her brother dude, she doesn’t cause problems like he does.”

“Watch it.” You warn.

“I’m just saying, your brother is a bit problematic.” Topper says, defending himself.

“Yeah well you guys cause issues just as much if not more.” You retort.

“What the he-” rafe starts but Topper puts a hand up to tell home to calm down.

“Rafe, man, just be cool. She’s defending her brother, she’s loyal like that. Honestly, don’t act like you wouldn’t defend Sarah the same way.”

Rafe stays quiet, driving to wherever.

“May I ask why you decided to wake me up at nine in the morning?” You ask Topper.

“I just thought that you would enjoy a bit of a break from work for the day-“

“Oh shit work, I can’t-“

“Dude, calm down. I got one of the other girls to take your shift today.”

“I need that money Topper! If I don’t get rent paid this month the landlords gonna contact my dad about the payment and then it’s gonna be on me that-” you start to rant.

“Maybank, I’ve got it. Whatever you were gonna be paid today I’ll double it and-“

“I don’t need your handouts. I can make the money myself. I just need to get to work.”

“It’s not a handout. Just think of it as compensation for us derailing your day.”

“For you derailing her day.” Rafe corrects.

“I don’t need your charity, Topper. I can make the money on my own. I just need you to drop me off at the wreck- and pick me up later because I don’t have my car to get back to the Carrera’s.”

“Why are you there anyways?”

“I’m house sitting for extra money, JJ needs some new shirts and socks, as well as a haircut because he’s starting to look like a stray mutt and I need to get someone to clean out our gutters because dads sure as hell not gonna do it and JJ’s not around enough to do it, and I work too much to do it so I gotta pay someone else.” You stop talking abruptly, realizing you’ve overshared.

You notice Rafe looking at you through the rearview mirror, looking away when he’s seen that you’ve noticed.

“Anyways I just needed some extra money.” You shrug.

“Okay, well you work too hard anyways. Come on, have fun! Take a break.”

“Fine.” You give in and decide to just go along with it.

A little fun for one day couldn’t hurt too much.

Topper cheers and Rafe just huffs, looking to the side.

Rafe drives you to a giant house. Like thirteen of your houses could fit in this house.

“What the fuck…” you trail off as you stare up at the mansion, “this place is huge!” You exclaim.

“Not really.” Rafe scratches the back of his neck and slams his car door, heading up to the front door of the house.

“You like pool, Maybank?” Topper asks you.

“Like the game?” Topper chuckles and nods, “yeah, I’ve played a couple times, I’m not horrible.”

“Oh yeah?” He asks and you nod absentmindedly, looking at the ceiling in the room and admiring the light fixture above the staircase.

“Your house is really pretty.” You say to Rafe, sparing him a glance before peeking into the rooms off to the sides of the entryway.

“It’s uh- it’s nothing special really. A lot of the houses around here look like this.” He clears his throat. He suddenly feels awkward about his privilege. Which is strange, because if you were any other mangy ass pogue he would have owned it.

“Well I haven’t really been around here much so you’ll have to excuse my amazement.” You retort and Rafe nods.

When you get to the game room Topper heads for a small fridge in the corner of the room, “you want anything to drink, Maybank?”

You shake your head, admiring the room and Rafe busies himself with setting up the pool table.

Topper grabs a pool cue off the rack on the wall and shares to chalk the end. He goes to hand it to you and Rafe grabs it from him.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Topper scoffs.

“That one’s too big.” Rafe says noncommittally, grabbing a shorter one off the wall and handing it to you, along with a cube of chalk.

“Thank you.” You say in an effort to be polite but he barely acknowledges it.

“You want to start?” Topper asks you and you shake your head.

“I’ve really only played a couple times and I don’t really know the rules that well.”

Rafe notes your uncomfortability and walks around the table, quickly taking the break shot before Topper can insist you do, “solids or stripes?” He asks and you quirk up your eyebrows in confusion, “the balls? Solids or stripes?”

He points to the two different types of balls respectively and you nod, “uh, solids? Cause you pocketed a striped one right?”

Rafe nods, “good.” He goes around the table, focused on a purple striped ball and takes the shot, pocketing the ball with ease. He’s able to get one more shot after before he misses.

Topper leans his pool cue against the wall and gestures for you to take the shot. You shake your head at him but he seemingly insists and you turn, leaning over the table and focusing on a yellow solid ball. The cue slips off your hand as you try to take the shot and you step back.

“Try that again.” Rafe finds himself saying and you shake your head, “just get in the position to take the shot.” You do as he says and he walks over, fixing your hand on the wall of the table so the cue sits between your middle and pointer finger, “now try.”

You try and put too much force behind it, causing the ball to hop over the wall and the white ball falls into the pocket.

“You don’t have to put that much force behind it.” Top says, grabbing the yellow ball off the floor and setting it where it was on the table, handing Rafe the cue ball from the pocket.

Rafe takes another shot and gets it, he misses the next one and then steps back for you to take your turn.

You lean in to take the shot and you hear topper over your shoulder reminding you to relax. You aim for the orange ball and take the shot. It bounces off the wall of the table and lands in the pocket. You look at Rafe expectantly and he gestures for you to go again.

You get two more shots before you miss.

“Beginner's luck.” Rafe says to topper as he makes his way around the table.

“Sure.” Top smiles at you.

You find yourself becoming more comfortable as the game progresses, laughing when you screw something up instead of shrinking into yourself. Rafe finds himself looking at you as you laugh. He wins every game you play against him and you take it in stride, smiling and offering a compliment on his win each time. He doesn’t say much to you over the first few games, eventually he lets Topper step in and play. He starts giving you subtle tips, muttering under his breath as he passes you while you’re trying to figure out which shot to make next.

Topper notices but doesn’t say anything. He knows you guys won’t be friends or get close, he’s just thinking it would be nice if y’all didn’t hate each other.

“She’s kicking your ass, Top.” Rafe says nonchalantly and you hide your smirk with your hair.

“I’ll make a comeback.” Topper shrugs.

He did not make a comeback. Not in this game or the next or the last one he was willing to lose.

“Okay, I’m done.” He says, putting his cue back in its slot. Rafe agrees and takes your cue from you, putting it back with his.

You begin to collect the pool balls from each pocket, setting them in the rack and centering it for whoever plays the next game.

“You don’t have to do that.” Rafe informs you and you shrug.

“I don’t want anyone cleaning up my mess.”

He nods and crushes the soda can in his hand, tossing it in the trash and looking at Topper expectantly.

“What do you wanna do?” Rafe asks him and topper shrugs.

“Beach?” He suggests and Rafe sighs.

“I guess.”

He leaves the room and you look at Topper, “beach?”

“Yeah, swim, surf, whatever.” He shrugs and you sigh heavily.

“I don’t really want to swim.” You kind of mutter and Toppers eyebrows lift.

“What about surfing?”

“Don’t know how.” You shrug and he nods.

“It’ll be fun.” He assures you and you shake your head.

“I don’t really like the beach, Topper.”

“Yeah you do. You go with me and my family every now and then, you hang out in our pool.” He argues.

“Yeah and I watch you surf and I play with your little cousins. Or I sit on the steps. I don’t swim.”

“Why are you so against swimming?”

“I’m not against swimming I just-“ you begin to argue.

“Do you not know how?” He teases and your face turns red, realization falls on his features, “you don’t know how to swim?”

“I can like- keep myself up in a pool or something but I’m not big on the ocean.” You clarify.

“Is it because your dad-“

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” He stops talking for a minute, “I mean it’s kind of important to know how to swim around here.”

“I know.”

“Could I try and teach you?” He asks.

“I don’t think-“

Rafe walks into the room in swim trunks, swinging his key ring around his finger, “ready to go?”

You nod and quickly exit the room, leaving Rafe confused and Topper feeling somewhat guilty.

When you get to the truck there are two surfboards in the truck bed, plus a tote bag. You get in the backseat and the boys follow, Rafe looking at you for a moment through the rear view mirror.

The drive up to the beach is quiet, you learn that Rafe has atrocious music taste and try to tune out whatever shit he’s playing on the radio.

When you get to the beach you grab the tote bag out of the truck bed and head down the beach without a word. The boys catch up as you’re laying a towel down on the sand. You sit on it and rummage through the bag until you find sunscreen.

Rafe heads down to the water as you spray some onto your arms and legs, “Cameron! What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting in the water?”

“Get the fuck over here and put on some sunscreen.” You call after him and he groans.

“I don’t need sunscreen, Maybank.” He retorts.

“So you’re fine with contracting skin cancer, aging prematurely and damaging your immune system?” You ask holding the sunscreen out in his direction.

“I’ll be fine, mom.” He mouths off, walking further down to the water and you roll your eyes.

Topper attempts to follow him but you grab him by his ear at the last second.

“Ow.” He pouts and you hand him the sunscreen and give him a stern look, “fine.”

You walk to the shore line, letting your feet sit in the cool water as you watch Rafe and Topper surf. You sit in the sand, drawing in it with your finger and letting the tide erase it each time.

A shadow looms over you and you look up to see Rafe. His hair is wet and water drips off of it and onto his shoulders that are beginning to turn a pinky color.

“Need some sunscreen?” You smile.

“Why aren’t you swimming or anything?” He asks, ignoring your question and shaking the water out of his hair as it drips into his face.

“I don’t wanna.” You shrug.

He’s quiet for a minute, “do you know how to surf?”

“No. I mean I did when I was little, kind of, but I don’t really remember.” You squint your eyes against the sun as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

“Doesn’t your brother surf a lot?”

“I’m surprised you’re aware of what my brother does or does not do.”

“I’m surprised he hasn’t taught you.” Rafe remarks and you wrinkle your nose.

“Im not really all that interested in it.”

“And you just don’t like swimming?” He clarifies and you nod.

“Pretty much. Don’t even have a bathing suit.” You had one that topper got for you that stayed at his house mainly but the last time you wore it was last summer and it was stained a pinkish color from an accidental spill. You’ve been avoiding letting topper get you another one for a while.

“Hm.” He nods. He stands there for a minute before clearing his throat, “so uh, sunscreen?”

“In the pocket of the bag.” You smile and he nods. You can’t tell if he’s blushing from embarrassment or if his face is just sunburnt.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA For telling my partner I'd like to bring my ex into our relationship?

I'm copying this over from r/relationship_advice, because the responses are giving me the impression they don't really get what polyamory is & I'm hoping tumblr does. For reference: there's me (29M), my ex (28, Trans Man), and my partner (30M).

My ex and I were best friends in high school, went to the same college, & dated through the tail end of undergrad, for about a year and change. We ended things on very good terms, the only reason we broke up was a difference in life paths: I stayed in the city to get my Master's, he traveled constantly for his work (he's a sculptor who makes these huge custom multimedia pieces, they're genuinely some of the most beautiful things I've seen). We fell out of touch for the most part, but I'd see him popping up on social media occasionally, or he'd text me when he was in town and we'd hang out, along with some other school friends.

The last time I saw him before our present situation was about 3 1/2 years ago today. We went out for drinks, he came back to my place after, and we ended up hooking up. He stayed in town for about a week, and we hooked up a few more times, and then he left again. He sort of dropped off the face of the earth after that, but he'd always been pretty sporadic, especially when he had a big project, so I didn't think much about it.

Not long after that, I met my current partner. He's truly one of my favorite people in the whole world; he's incredibly thoughtful, and earnest, and passionate about his morals & principles (he's an environmental lawyer), and more than anything, he's someone I never feel like I have to pretend with. He asked for my number, we had our first date a few days later, and ended up staying awake the entire night just talking about anything and everything, so we went ahead and got 5am pancakes and called it our second date. We've been together for a little over 3 years now, we've been moved in together for about 2, and while we've had the occasional fight or rough patch I can definitely say I love this man, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him.

So, the big change.

About a year ago (~2 years since seeing my ex, my partner and I have lived together for about a year at this point), my partner and I are having a night in, and there's a knock at the door. It's my ex, looking absolutely ragged, holding a 15 month old baby. As in, a baby who was conceived 24 months before then. Yep, it's pretty much what you're guessing. I let them both in, we had a sit down in the kitchen, and he told me everything he'd been doing in the past 2 years in between me cussing him out for keeping it all from me in the first place. I really do want to keep this as short as possible, so to give you the super condensed version:

She's my daughter, he's completely sure about that, there's no one else he's been with the math is even close to correct for

The second he found out he was pregnant, he more or less panicked. He's got a whole Thing about feeling like he's irresponsible/not a "real" adult, and this really set him off, so telling me felt like "admitting to fucking both our lives up" at the time. His OB/GYN said some pretty awful shit to him about not being more careful as a trans man too, which just made it all even worse

Because of all that, he'd genuinely planned to just never tell me I have a daughter & raise her completely on his own, but a few things compounded to force his hand:

The birth was really rough on him, and his recovery was slow enough he was having trouble going back to work, to the point where money was getting tight

On top of that, our daughter has celiac disease, and between paying out of pocket for blood tests & spending more on baby food she's safe to eat, things got desperate enough he went and took out a really dodgy loan from a scummy payday company

He was at our door because all of this had finally spiraled to a point where he'd lost his apartment, they'd been sleeping in his car for about a week, and he couldn't think of anything else to do

I think I was probably feeling every human emotion in existence at the same time through all of this, but the thing I remember most from the whole conversation was the way my partner kept drifting right back to the baby, and the soft way he looked at her. We put my ex & daughter up in a hotel room for the night and told him we needed to talk, and we'd discuss our options in the morning, but I think even then I kind of knew what our answer was going to be.

Sure enough, for the last year and a half we've been co-parenting our little girl, all three of us. We didn't want to juggle who's got her, or force my ex to find a place to stay, so we've turned my partner's home office into our daughter's room, and redid most of the downstairs layout so my ex could move into an actual bedroom, rather than just sleep on our pullout couch in perpetuity. We finally succeeded in convincing him that rest and recovery was more important than trying to contribute to the house finances right away, and it's been magical watching all that stress and terror slowly fall off him. It's like he's a little more alive again every time I look.

Which is where my question comes in.

I'd like to restate, I love my partner 100%. None of this changes that whatsoever. If I ask, and he says no, that will be the end of the discussion for me completely. But I have eyes. My ex is, objectively, a very attractive man. I know we work well together, and I have to admit I'm very curious to see where that same chemistry could lead now that he's not on the other side of the country half the time. I've also been noticing these little moments between him and my partner. Nothing I'd consider crossing a line, but I've caught my partner checking my ex out several times, as well as vice versa, and they get along remarkably well. Sometimes I'll go to enter a room, and see them both sitting there laughing and chatting and playing with our baby, and I'll just hang back to watch because it makes me so happy.

Add to all that, we're pretty deeply ingrained in each other's lives now. My partner and I don't often go out on dates alone anymore, but the last few times we did it felt as if my ex was missing from the table. We watched a movie together last night, and my ex sat in the middle of us with his feet in my partner's lap and his head on my chest, and it felt just as natural as my arm on my partner's shoulder. It's not about just having sex with him, and it's not that I'd want to invite any old person into our relationship. I know we already all love each other, and I think there's potential for that to become romantic between the two of us and my ex.

It just feels as though we're all holding our breath, waiting for someone else to say it first. My ex certainly isn't going to bring it up when he's living rent free in "our" home (it's his home too, but he doesn't seem to see it like that yet). My partner grew up sheltered enough that I'm not sure he's ever heard of polyamory at all, so he's not going to bring it up. That just leaves me.

My problem is, if I'm wrong about what I think I'm seeing, or if I bring it up the wrong way, I can't take it back. I don't want my partner to feel insecure or betrayed, I don't want my ex to feel pressured or put on the spot, and I definitely don't want my daughter to lose any of us, which I know could happen if we aren't all on the same page. Or worse, if we do all date and it goes badly.

Should I just keep this whole thing secret? Is that even worse? Would I be the asshole for opening this can of worms on everyone else?

Help!

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Ranmaru Main Story Chapter 2

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

Rush translation = Not proofread

Ranmaru: "Lady Mai. Are you still awake?"

The same warm voice I remembered came from beyond the door.

(That voice…)

Mai: "Yeah, I'm awake."

Ranmaru opened the door and sat beside me.

Ranmaru: "Sorry for coming by so late. I figured you might still be up."

Mai: "It's okay. Did you need something?"

Ranmaru: "Yeah. I wanted to thank you."

(Thank me?)

I tilted my head in confusion, and Ranmaru gave a wry smile.

Ranmaru: "During the discussion earlier, you stepped in to defend me without hesitation."

Ranmaru: "My position was already pretty shaky as it was, but I made it through thanks to you. I really appreciate it."

His sweet smile carried a genuine sense of relief.

Mai: "It's nothing."

(I did step in, but in the end, what Nobunaga really valued wasn't my words—it was Ranmaru's actions.)

Mai: "If anything, I should be the one thanking you."

I straightened my posture and turned to face him.

Mai: "I went to the battlefield, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even move."

Mai: "You saved me, so thank you."

Ranmaru: "Lady Mai..."

His eyes softened with concern as he looked at me.

Ranmaru: "You were unarmed, and more importantly, you're not a warrior. Anyone would freeze up if something like that suddenly happened to them."

Ranmaru: "By the way, why did you decide to go to the battlefield instead of running away?"

(I knew he'd be curious about that.)

Mai: "It started when you told me about the orphaned children."

I told Ranmaru everything I'd thought about since we parted ways at the teahouse, along with what I'd felt during my conversation with Nobunaga.

Mai: "Just because I went to the battlefield doesn't mean anything's going to change right away."

Mai: "And of course, I didn't expect to actually accomplish anything out there either, but…"

Ranmaru: "You didn't want to run away?"

(That's exactly it, but...)

(Wow, I really was thinking like some kind of hero, huh?)

Mai: "Maybe."

Feeling a little embarrassed for saying it out loud, I gave him a vague answer.

Ranmaru: "Mm. I see."

Even so, he smiled warmly.

Ranmaru: "By the way, I heard from the maids that you're a princess of the Oda clan."

Ranmaru: "And yet here you are, joining battles and helping out with the Oda army. You're not like most princesses."

(Huh? I thought being a princess was just for appearances' sake.)

(Did no one tell Ranmaru that?)

I suddenly remembered what Nobunaga had said in the great hall.

(He did say he'd decide later whether he'd believe Ranmaru or not.)

(If there's a reason he hasn't told Ranmaru yet, maybe I should just play along for now.)

Mai: "Um, well, you know… I just thought it'd be good to have more life experiences."

Ranmaru: "Haha, you really are an unusual princess."

Mai: "But honestly, I'm still getting used to doing this kind of support work."

Mai: "Azuchi Castle is huge, too, and there's just so much to learn."

Ranmaru: "Yeah, I can imagine."

After a moment of thought, his face suddenly lit up.

Ranmaru: "Oh! Hey, Lady Mai—how about helping me with my duties as a page tomorrow?"

Ranmaru: "The roles of a chatelaine and a page are kind of similar, so I might be able to teach you a thing or two."

(Huh!?)

Mai: "Are you sure? I mean, I hate to admit it, but I really don't know anything."

Mai: "I'm totally clueless about the world."

(I mean, I'm basically a beginner when it comes to the whole Sengoku period thing.)

Ranmaru: "Haha, don't worry about it. Everyone starts out like that, right?"

Ranmaru: "Besides, I have another reason for asking."

Mai: "Another reason?"

Ranmaru: "Yep. I want to get closer to you. ♪"

Mai: "What!?"

Ranmaru leaned in close, beaming innocently as I stared at him, stunned.

Ranmaru: "You're kind and brave, and somehow, we just keep crossing paths."

Ranmaru: "I'm actually pretty useful, you know? Or do you not want to get closer?"

(Ugh…)

He looked up at me with puppy-dog eyes.

Mai: "O-Of course I do! I'd love that!"

Ranmaru: "You mean it?"

Mai: "Y-Yeah, of course!"

Ranmaru: "Hmm. Well, alright then."

Ranmaru: "You're not backing away even with me this close, so at the very least, I know you don't dislike me."

Ranmaru: "Then it's settled. I'll see you tomorrow, Lady Mai. ♪"

He flashed a bright smile, then stood up to leave the room.

(Oh—right!)

Something about his light, graceful movements reminded me of something.

Mai: "Hey, this might sound weird, but did you already know about me before we met in the castle town?"

Ranmaru: "Huh?"

Mai: "I hadn't told you that I was working for the Oda army back then, but when we met again on the battlefield, you didn't seem surprised at all."

(It was like you already expected me to be there.)

Ranmaru: "Nope, I didn't know."

Ranmaru: "Before I could even be surprised, I just felt like I had to protect you—for making such a brave choice."

Mai: "Ranmaru..."

Ranmaru: "Didn't I say we've got a strange connection? Coincidences really are amazing, huh?"

With a playful wink, he finally left the room.

(Coincidence, huh?)

By sheer coincidence, I got caught in a wormhole.

By coincidence, I landed on the night of the Honnō-ji Incident.

By coincidence, I saved Nobunaga and altered the course of history.

And by coincidence, I met someone who always comes to my aid—someone I know I can rely on.

(It feels like time flows at a speed I don't fully understand in this era.)

(Everything moves so fast, and peace always seems just out of reach.)

(And yet, right now, I feel like maybe—just maybe—things will be okay.)

I closed my eyes, remembering Ranmaru's smile.

The blinding glint of the sword once raised against me quietly faded from my mind.

As Mai finally drifted off to sleep, Ranmaru—standing just outside the room—let out a sigh.

Ranmaru: "Yeah. I think that went perfectly."

Ranmaru: "Now that I'm back, I have to fulfill my duty."

His face was hidden in shadow, making it impossible to tell what he was thinking.

Turning his back to the gently flickering light, Ranmaru walked away without a sound.

The next morning.

(Got all my things—check. Dressed and ready—check!)

(Ranmaru's taking the time to teach me, so I need to give it my all, too!)

I placed my hand on the door that led to the hallway and slid it open in one swift motion.

Ranmaru: "Ah."

Mai: "Huh?"

(Why is he standing right outside my room?)

Seeing my dumbfounded expression, Ranmaru let out a laugh.

Ranmaru: "Oops, sorry! Didn't mean to startle you."

Ranmaru: "After last night, I realized I never told you where my room is."

Ranmaru: "Azuchi Castle is huge, and I didn't want you to get lost, so I came to pick you up."

Mai: "I see. Thanks."

Ranmaru: "You're welcome! So, about today's work—first, I'd like you to come with me and get you familiar with everything."

Ranmaru: "I'll guide you through the castle and explain things as we go."

Mai: "Got it!"

Ranmaru: "Hehe, you're really motivated."

He handed me a sheet of paper and a brush.

(This looks like a map of the castle. Wait—)

There were several blank spots scattered across the map.

Ranmaru: "Noticed that? Those blank spots are places you'll likely be visiting often."

Ranmaru: "I'll guide you to each of them, and I want you to check what's there and fill them in yourself."

Ranmaru: "It's easier to remember when you write things down with your own hand, right?"

Mai: "That makes sense."

(Still, I can't believe he put all this together in one night.)

(I'd heard he was talented, but this is on another level.)

And so, with that quiet admiration in my heart, my work with him began.

After I finished filling in all the blank spots on the map, I waited for Ranmaru at the place he mentioned.

(Still…)

Mai: "He really is amazing."

Right after Ranmaru returned to the castle, I saw him immediately surrounded by a crowd of people—though apparently, that was just a normal day for him.

------------Flashback-----------

Ranmaru: "Lady Mai, next up is—"

Maid 1: "Ah! Ranmaru!"

Maid 2: "Your smile is just as charming today!"

Ranmaru: "Thanks! When you say things like that, it makes me want to smile even more ♪"

Maid 3: "Ranmaru!"

Maid 4: "Good luck with your work today!"

Ranmaru: "Hehe, you too!"

Ranmaru: "Anyway—sorry to keep you waiting, Lady Mai. Let's head to the next spot ☆"

---------Flashback Ends--------

(At that level, it's pretty much a talent.)

(A talent of being loved by everyone.)

I thought about how he flawlessly guided me through the castle while kindly responding to every excited greeting he received along the way.

Ranmaru: "Sorry to keep you waiting, Lady Mai."

He returned, this time carrying a rather large bundle in his arms.

Mai: "That's a lot! Are we doing deliveries next?"

Ranmaru: "Hmm, well, I caused a bit of trouble for everyone, so I want to bring them some apology gifts—but honestly, it's kind of hard to go alone."

Ranmaru: "It's not really part of a page's duties, but would you come with me?"

Hugging the bundle close, Ranmaru furrowed his brows.

(I see. He's back in the Oda army now, but he did leave once.)

(Even someone as sociable as him must still feel a little awkward about it.)

Mai: "Alright, I'll go with you."

Mai: "I'm not that close to everyone yet either, but is that okay?"

Ranmaru: "Of course! Thank you!"

Ranmaru: "You're so kind. I really love people like you!"

Mai: "----!"

His open and honest words caught me completely off guard.

Ranmaru: "Alright, let's go!"

Mai: "Y-Yeah."

The one who had just so casually declared his "love" seemed completely at ease.

(That surprised me. I didn't think he'd say it so naturally.)

(Maybe that kind of honesty is part of why everyone likes him.)

Feeling once again impressed by his straightforward nature, we headed out of Azuchi Castle.

Our first stop was Mitsunari's room.

Ranmaru: "Lord Mitsunari? Huh? I heard he'd be here."

Mai: "Doesn't look like he's around. Still, wow, that's a lot of books."

As I glanced around the rather messy room—

(Hm?)

One of the piles of books rustled loudly and collapsed.

Ranmaru: "Ah—there he is."

Just as Ranmaru spoke, someone emerged from the mountain of books.

Mitsunari: "Ranmaru, Lady Mai. What brings you here?"

(Mitsunari!)

Mai: "Are you okay?"

I hurried over, but Mitsunari simply smiled, completely unfazed.

Mitsunari: "Yes, I'm perfectly fine."

Mitsunari: "I had just reached a stopping point in my research and must have fallen asleep without realizing it."

(W-Wait. He fell asleep, buried in books on the floor!?)

Ranmaru: "Ugh, I knew it would be like this."

While picking up the fallen books, Ranmaru puffed his cheeks out in frustration.

Ranmaru: "When we saw you in the hall the other day, you had huge dark circles under your eyes."

Ranmaru: "I bet you've been buried in research nonstop since coming back from the battlefield."

Mitsunari: "Yes. Even though it was a surprise attack, we still allowed the enemy to reach our main camp."

Mitsunari: "That clearly indicates there was a flaw in our strategy."

Mitsunari: "To make sure it never happens again, I wanted to come up with improvements while the battle was still fresh in my mind."

(Wait—does that mean he's been researching nonstop since then, without even sleeping!?)

(Most people would've collapsed from exhaustion after returning from war.)

From the moment I met him, Mitsunari had always shown me a kindness that stood out among the other warlords.

(But this level of obsession with military strategy goes beyond normal.)

(He's a true tactician, through and through.)

As I looked at him with newfound respect, something occurred to me.

Mai: "By the way, did you eat anything while you were researching?"

(He looks a bit more worn out than before.)

Mitsunari: "Food… now that you mention it, I haven't eaten."

Mai: "Wait—since when!? How many days has it been since you last ate?"

Mitsunari: "Days?"

Mitsunari tilted his head, genuinely puzzled.

Ranmaru: "I bet you didn't even notice if the sun rose or set."

(What? Seriously?!)

Ranmaru: "You always lose sight of everything around you the moment you get absorbed in something."

Mitsunari: "This is embarrassing."

Scratching his cheek shyly, Mitsunari admitted that, surprisingly, he was the type to forget sleep and meals when he was really focused.

Ranmaru: "I actually brought you a new tactics book, but I guess food comes first."

Mai: "True. Mitsunari, is it okay if I borrow the kitchen?"

Mitsunari: "Yeah—no, don't worry. I have this."

With a cheerful expression, he pulled out a small bundle from inside his robes and unwrapped it for us to see.

(What is that brown lump of rice? It's all dry and crusty!)

Mai: "Um, what is that?"

Mitsunari: "It's hoshii-meshi—dried rice. It's a very convenient food, you know."

Ranmaru: "Most people rehydrate it before eating. Only someone like you would gnaw on it as-is."

Mai: "Alright, I'm borrowing the kitchen!"

Mitsunari's expression softened gently.

Mitsunari: "You're really kind, Lady Mai."

(Oh wow…)

I almost got lost in his smile.

(He's kind, passionate about tactics, and a bit absentminded.)

(Mitsunari's the kind of person you just can't leave alone.)

With a smile like an angel, he stood beside Ranmaru, who flashed a dazzling idol smile of his own.

Ranmaru: "Well then, I'll leave the food prep to you, Lady Mai."

Ranmaru: "I'll stay here and tidy up this book pile."

Mai: "Alright, got it."

Smiling back at the two of them, I left the room.

I asked a nearby maid where the kitchen was and headed deeper into the palace.

(Mitsunari and Ranmaru... those two, somehow—)

Mai: "They could totally form an idol group."

???: "Idol group?"

(Huh?)

I turned around—and found Hideyoshi standing there, looking at me with a puzzled expression.

Hideyoshi: "Where are you going?"

Mai: "To the kitchen..."

His gaze pierced through me as I faltered.

(Hideyoshi is...)

------------Flashback-----------

Nobunaga: "Very well. Then I'll appoint you as chatelaine of the Oda army."

Mitsunari: "That is a wise decision. I'll assist Lady Mai as well."

Ieyasu: "She looks so weak, I doubt she'll be of any help."

Hideyoshi: "Don't question Lord Nobunaga's decision, Ieyasu."

Hideyoshi: "Still, I don't trust some random woman from who-knows-where either."

---------Flashback Ends--------

(Hideyoshi's been suspicious of me from the start—and honestly, he probably still is.)

Hideyoshi: "........."

I stood frozen under the weight of his silence as his brow furrowed even deeper.

Hideyoshi: "I was wrong."

(Huh?)

[rexisan]

jaytim prompt: Tim buys/ builds Jay his own personal library with all his favorite books. Yes basically that scene from beauty and the beast.

Okay so. I kinda went off for one. For two, your second ask? That might become a fullblown THING. So I'mma wait. But here you go, have Tim being a bowerbird.

Hiding what he was doing had been a pain in the fucking ass. In more ways than one but in some of the others he wasn't complaining. But keeping Jason away from the Nest long enough to get it done was, annoying.

But it was done. And Tim… Tim totally wasn't putting it off. No, course not. Not like he poured his heart and soul and maybe lowkey learned how to wood carve just for this specific purpose. He's Tim Drake he's not afraid. No he's petrified. He's made Jason a sanctuary in his own home. He carved and picked out the glass for the one bookshelf where he knew Jason would want to keep his rarest most loved books. He only wished he could get natural light in here but this is Gotham and if the sun ever shown Tim is pretty sure most of them would catch fire. Himself first and probably worst.

He figured out Jason's favorite leather and favorite fabrics, he found, read paid an artisan the asking price doubled, a chair with Jason's measurements in mind because he's built like a masculine monolithic linebacker that Tim doesn't ever want to look away from, so he got the chair big enough for him to curl up in. And blankets with his favorite colors with his favorite textures. And lights that simulate the sun so he can attempt to get the natural light he knows Jason likes to read by. With carpets that absorb the noise and everything feels warm and cozy and is HYPOTHETICALLY perfect.

Tim wasn't putting it off at all. Because this isn't basically a marriage proposal. His thumbnail has made its way back into his mouth, he needs to stop that. But he's staring at the innocuous door and spiraling. He knows each bookshelf, each book, where is it, the only ones that are missing are Jason's personal ones. He began to pace, thumbnail in his mouth again, seriously he needs to stop that's blood dammit, he froze as his eyes landed on the cameras seeing fucking Jason in the upstairs on his way down. His wonderful, awful, oft praised brain fucking freezes. Why the FUCK is he here?

Tim stands in front of the door staring at the cameras, mind going everywhere and nowhere as Jason comes into the room.

"There you are prettybird," Jason cooed. "Been looking for you for a minute. Had to ask Babs where you'd gone."

Tim looked over at Jason and slowly blinked trying to come to terms that Jason was here, the library was done, and Jason was HERE.

"Babybird?" Jason squinted as he came over. "You alright?"

Tim jumped and pulled his thumbnail from his mouth, yep that's bleeding, he hid his thumb in his fist, "Uhm, I have, something for you?"

Jason raised an eyebrow leaning down to kiss his forehead, oh there's the butterflies, he loved this man more than anything in the world.

"And what would that be my birdie?" Jason pulled back and saw the door. The door that was very much not there the last time he was here. "You didn't make a sex dungeon did you?"

"What? No, no uhm," Tim stepped aside and motioned to it. "Just, ah, open it."

He gave him a look and Tim's eyes were resolutely not looking at him, but Jay shrugged it off and opened the door. And his heart stuttered.

A library, nothing massive, but the walls were lined with shelves, the carpeted floors were a rich burgundy, the lights bright enough to see but dim enough to feel warm and cozy, the far back wall had the most gorgeous inlaid case, cherry wood hand carved, glass glittering in the light, and in front of it the biggest chair and footrest he'd ever seen. A blanket was draped across the back and it looked like the softest thing he'd ever touch. And best of all? The shelves, minus the ones behind the glass, were full of books, some more worn than others. He went inside and stared, almost afraid to touch. Tim trailed behind silently. There was aside table with a fucking old CD and tape playing radio because Tim knew how much he'd like to listen to his CD's and tapes while reading.

"You… you did this?" Jason asked awe in his voice as he reached out to pick up Paradise Lost.

"Yeah, uhm, surprise?" Tim said weakly, trying not to stick his fucking thumbnail back in his mouth.

"It's beautiful, it's perfect?" Jason looked at him. "You did this for me?"

Tim cocked his head, "Of course? You… you deserve this Jason. More really, but I couldn't get some of the things and I've redone that damn cabinet five times and if I do it a sixth I think I will dismantle the tools I used to carve it."

Jason slowly put the book back moving quickly while Tim was glaring at the cabinet like he was picking out all the flaws even though it was perfect and Tim was the one that made it, taking his birdies face in his hands he kissed him so tenderly.

"I love you," Jason sighed against his lips. "Even if you're a bower-bird, I do feel very wooed."

Tim blushed deeply and his his face in his hands, "Please shut up."

"Nah, you like my mouth too much," Jason chuckled and kissed his head. "Can't wait to read with you in here."

"I did make sure the chair was big enough for both of us," Tim mumbled.

"Good bird."

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s)

Part 1/? Read on AO3

Omegaverse modern au where steddie are both teachers. Eddie is teaching single omega Steve's son.

Eddie let out a satisfied sigh as the latest parent left his classroom. Parent/teacher conferences were always a tad stressful, even if there was no tangible reason to be. Most of his kids were doing well in all their subjects. There were only a couple behavioral outliers but Eddie knew that those parents rarely showed up but from professional and personal experience.

The main reason he didn't look forward to these was how selective kids could be with the information they shared. More than once in his years, a parent would arrive with a bone to pick about a problem that was apparently happening in the classroom that Eddie had no idea was occurring. These kids came up to him ten times a day to tell him what their little sister had for lunch two days ago but god forbid they admit when they have a problem with another student.

Today's appointments had mostly been smooth, though. It typically wasn't the quote unquote problem children whose parents showed up anyway. He just had one more person to go and then he could run out the clock fixing up his room until he was allowed to go.

He double checked the name. Shawn Harrington. Good kid. Bright, active, and it sounded like their parent had arrived.

"Mr. Munson? Hi, I'm Shawn's dad."

Eddie looked up to see a total smoke show.

"Hi", he cleared his throat when it squeaked out. "Nice to meet you, come in, have a seat." Eddie had Shawn's folder ready, like the other kids to show any work that should be highlighted, as well as his grades up on his laptop. "So did you have any concerns or worries about Shawn?"

Eddie quickly went in autopilot. It was the only way he was going to get through this. He was going to keep his eyes from drifting to that smooth sweep of this man's hair. He wasn't going to hyperfocus on his pretty lips. He wasn't going to gaze deeply into those chocolate brown eyes. He wasn't going to flare his nostrils to take in more of his scent. And he definitely wasn't going to check his fingers for any rings.

Bare hands.

Very nice hands.

They had a nice, brief conversation about the student's progress, and Eddie couldn't help but give him a glowing review. Even if Mr. Harrington wasn't totally hot, his kid was a wonder at times.

"He listens and pays attention well, always raising his hand to answer questions. If you don't mind me saying so, he just seems really prepared for school."

Which was saying something when many of the other first graders were still asking things like 'do we have to do math?' or 'are we going home today?' Eddie remembered being little and having pretty much no control over his life, so he could relate to the tiny ones still getting the hang of school. But kids like Shawn were a breath of fresh air.

"He did pretty well in kindergarten and I put him in daycare pretty early", Mr. Harrington said. "He gets really excited for school and I can tell he really likes you so far."

His smile could have blinded Eddie. He wanted to gush on just to keep seeing that smile.

"That means a lot, thank you." It wasn't a strong stigma but sometimes people got iffy over an alpha teaching children so young. It was thought they needed the 'gentler' hand of an omega. His eyes drifted back down to Mr. Harrington's hands. Yep, there was no ring there.

Now Eddie would never ask out or even flirt with a parent. That was off limits. But you know, if he got a little creative with his fantasies... well, you can't go to jail for thought crimes.

They said their parting words and Eddie was definitely not watching that ass in those khaki slacks. God, was there anything more cliche than him being a teacher and having the hots for a parent? He tried to keep his mind off it as he fixed up his classroom. He wouldn't even be seeing the guy that much. Not unless something came up with Shawn. And that kid was kind of an angel.

It was Friday, so once he was done, he went home to enjoy his weekend. Come Monday, there was a cacophony of voices. Half talking to each other and the other half trying to both greet him good morning and get right into another conversation. Eddie took it all with a smile.

"Mr. Munson, did you tell my mom about my butterfly!?", Theresa exclaimed, pointing to their bulletin board where their work hung.

"Mr. Munson, I got cheez-its in my lunch today", Victoria said, opening up said lunch box.

"Did you really talk to our parents?", Walker asked, arms crossed.

"Most of them", Eddie answered once they gave him a breath to speak.

"He talked to my dad", Shawn said. "And he said you said I was good."

"That I did", Eddie nodded, watching them as they put their coats and bookbags away. Theresa and Walker were known to fight over hooks.

"Mr. Munson, did you know my dad is a teacher too?", Shawn asked.

"I did not know that. Explains why you're so ready for school."

"Yeah, we practiced", Shawn said as he sat down to get started on the warm up.

Eddie raised a brow, wanting to ask what he meant by that, but his attention was grabbed when there was a shriek and a cry from Yasmin. He steeled his nerves for the day. He would need the fortitude.

-------------------------

When Steve walked into the classroom to meet Mr. Munson, he didn't know what to expect. He regretted missing Back to School Night, but his had been on the same evening and as a teacher, he couldn't miss it. But Shawn had nothing but good things. So he went in with optimism.

And was met with a gorgeous, gorgeous man sitting at the teacher's desk. For a second, Steve was sure he had the wrong room.

"Mr. Munson? Hi, I'm Shawn's dad."

His hair was pulled back in a bun and Steve's first thought was how it must look when it was down. Honestly, Steve couldn't tell you exactly what he had said. His tongue felt twisted the whole time as did his stomach. But Mr. Munson was smiling through it all and hadn't brought up anything bad about Shawn, so Steve must really be selling it.

He wanted to say that Mr. Munson's praise meant the world to him. That it wasn't always easy to bring up a kid as a single omega parent. But that felt too personal for a first meeting. And mentioning he was single would probably be too forward. When it ended, they shook hands, allowing Steve to get just a little close. He caught a whiff of his scent and instantly wanted more. At least enough to pinpoint what it reminded him off.

But he had to let go just as quickly and then leave without lingering. He was NOT going to be the type of parent that made goo-goo eyes at his child's teacher. It wasn't like Shawn needed the leg up and Steve was done with his slut era. So even thought Mr. Munson could definitely get it, he was absolutely off limits.

And if Steve went home and immediately put the rest of the school year's events in his own calendar, that was simply because he was an amazing dad and for no other reason.

Part 2

[nomatterwhatnomatterwhere]

What a (Not so) Strange World XVI

A.N: Soo, uhm, will you believe me if I told you that I thought I had already updated this chapter? Because that's exactly what happened. I feel stupid. Like, a lot. I was soo sure I had done it - and I thought nobody actually read it or like it - so when I went to update the next part ( what a spoiler wow) I was flabbergasted. I would really like to blame it on my adhd but honestly, I've had a lot of things going on and I simply forgot.

All this to say I'm sorry for being late? yep, but also because I like to be dramatic - difficult to notice I know -

Anyway... uhm... I'm not really sure on how I feel about this chapter, there are things I really like and others there are just ...meh, could be better, so let me know what do you think

You'll (Never Stop to) Learn things

PartXV PartXVII

Pomfiore Dorm was really beautiful, architecturally speaking, giving you a sense of calm and order that you haven't felt in a while. Maybe to some people it might have come across as a little tacky or snobby, but not to you.

Whoever had decorated the place had good taste: everything was perfect, not one thing too many. Everything in the right place

It made sense Vil was part of this dormitory, at least on a purely aesthetic level.

( After all, you knew firsthand that despite Vil's perhaps somewhat brusque manner, he was not just a beautiful face) .

Finding Rook had not been difficult, although you suspected that when he wanted to he knew very well how to go unnoticed-he had the air of a hunter after all.

Hearing that the people of this world also thought him a peculiar individual made you smile.

An odd duck, Riddle had said, and you knew it was a figure of speech, but remembering your first encounter with the older boy, that was not the animal that came to mind.

It reminded you more of a hunting feline

“Whoa. That dude's like a glitter bomb in human form.”

You did not venture to bring up the subject, but following Ace's statement you found yourself wondering if he was talking about Rook, Vil, or the lovely boy who was with them.

To your eyes they all shone. They were almost blinding if you looked at them too much.

In fact, however, everyone in this dormitory was incredibly beautiful.

You were distant from the trio, so you didn't understand what they were talking about, but you were pretty sure Rook had noticed you.

You were also sure from what you knew about him that he was the person you needed for your plan to begin.

When the others nodded at the idea that he probably would not be the target and that it was best to keep looking you took a step back, announcing that you would stay there a little longer and join them as soon as you finished.

You also warned them to let you know their location, the last time you had split up you had found them again by sheer luck .

They didn't ask why you wanted to stay behind, just a few uncertain glances, but Riddle asked you in turn to let them know when you were finished doing what you had to do.

Rook's smile had widened slightly when he had seen you approach them; you were about to speak, but his Roi de Poison anticipated you

“Has anyone ever told you that it's rude to show up uninvited?”

You tilted your head, and smiled faintly

“I am aware of that, but I have a very good reason for doing so, so I hope you will excuse my rudeness.”

A few minutes of silence had passed in which you and Vil simply stared at each other, as if you were having a conversation behind closed doors before the Housewarden sighed and you took a seat in one of the lounge chairs.

“I'll only take a few minutes of your time” you took a sigh “In the first place I have to apologize, I may have made some of your housemates uncomfortable, but you should let them know that not all wrongs are dealt with at Duel, also … I may have told them that we are friends and implied to them that if they really tried to duel with me you might be offended…I apologize for bringing you into that conversation…but that's not why I'm disturbing your…tea time” you turned your gaze straight to Rook ” Could you help me find someone? ”

You did not doubt Cater's ability to find information, the info he had retrieved about the Spelldrive players was plenty and well curated, but you needed something else.

From what little you knew about him, Rook always seemed to know what was going on, and the words he told you later were just confirmation of that

“Am I to assume it's about the recent incidents of Spelldrive players?”

He had squinted his eyes and smiled, like a cat who found a funny game in another situation his actions would have made you hugely uncomfortable, but in that case, that was the answer you wanted.

With Rook's help it was very easy to find the information you needed, you were so happy you almost bounced on the spot.

You thanked Rook and apologized again to the other two for interrupting their tea time - or whatever they were doing

Vil excused you, reminding you about your previous appointment which you smiled about because there was no way you would forget something like that

( He didn't need to know that you had mentioned it to Yuu only a few hours earlier).

He also let you know that he would inform Jack to be careful-thus letting you know that he too was a Spelldrive player for Savana Claw-if that was okay with you, which you thanked him for, since you had not yet had a chance to meet your childhood friend.

Back in the Hall of Mirror you were elated, you wanted to stay grounded but it was really hard to do that.

You had asked Rook who he thought might have the most interest in winning even by playing dirty. He had given you a few names, some even from his own dormitory, but he also pointed out that many of them didn't have the skills to not get caught if they tried to cheat

When you asked if there were any really difficult players to beat it was Vil who replied

“Diasomnia Housewarden. The Headmaster even proposed to induct him into the hall of fame, so that the gamefield would be even. We rejected it.”

That was important information, crucial in a way, and you were grateful Vil shared it.

If this Malleus was that good you had no doubt he would be a likely target, but it wasn't just that.

“Who suffered most from his presence on the field?”

It was the little boy who answered you, although maybe he really wasn't? He had whispered a “Savana Claw” that you had had trouble understanding, and you were sitting next to him.

Both Vil and Rook, however, had heard it, you knew it from the rising edges of Rook's lips and Vil's side-eye, but neither of them denied the statement

“Roi de Leon has really been terribly unlucky. The last few years Savana Claw has always been matched against Diasomnia, and they have always lost” he had shaken his head, almost sighing ” A real shame.”

“Leona though is the one who first opposed the Headmaster idea” nodded to the information.

Now that you had a somewhat broader picture of the situation you needed only to ascertain a couple more things: the components of the Spelldrive teams , with a focus on Savana Claw, and their Unique Magic.

Vil had told you that the teams' rosters had been delivered to Octavinelle's Housewarden -- Trein and Crewel had also mentioned his name to you that morning actually -- but that you needed to be very careful about what you told him

That had scared you a little bit. If you had to pay attention to the words you used did it mean that this student was a fae? Because otherwise you couldn't explain all the attention you had to pay to what you were saying.

But from what you understood the Fae attended Diasomnia Dorm, which made sense if that was the Maleficent-inspired Dorm.

Octavinelle was the Sea Witch's Dorm, you didn't see the connection between the two

( It had completely escaped your mind how famous the Sea Witch was for her pacts and her way of bending the rules.)

Just before you passed through the portal to that dormitory a message from Cay alerted you to how Riddle was returning to do his 'Housewarden duties' while the rest of them headed to the Savana Claw Dorm

You replied that you were almost finished and would meet them there.

You were really relieved there was Cater with the others, at least that way you avoided worrying about the possible trouble the whole early years gang could get into,

It was a given that Octavinelle Dorm was underwater, but you hadn't given it a second thought.

As you passed through the portal you felt yourself run out of air for a few moments and your body stiffen for a few moments before you realized that you were back to breathing normally.

You asked where you could find the Housewarden, and despite a few odd looks, worried perhaps, some students directed you to what was the Mostro Lounge

It looked like a nice place, but the lights were off so you assumed it was closed.

Too bad you couldn't wait until opening time :you knocked a couple of times before a guy who didn't look much older than you came to open the door.

He was…particularly elegant, and definitely exuded a certain aura, but it was nowhere near the aura of Mister Fae or that of Maleficent ( or even that of Frau Grimihilde or Madame Tremaine)

Perhaps, if you hadn't had so much contact with the Fae, the person in front of you might have intimidated you, after all, he seemed like someone who always knew what to say- knew what he wanted-but unfortunately for him you were used to being around people who gave off a certain aura so his presence didn't intimidate you as much as it might have.

In fact, he didn't even intimidate you, but he definitely seemed like someone who demanded a certain amount of respect

“I regret to inform you that the Monster Lounge is not yet open. I must inv-”

“It doesn't matter. I'm looking for Azul…I was told to come here…?”

He had looked at you, scrutinized you, before letting you in, with a smile you could only describe as polite.

The lights were dim, but they gave off enough light to admire the place: the Mostro Lounge really looked like a classy place, you would have loved to come here-if it wasn't underwater of course.

“Allow me to introduce myself,” his voice was faux-sweet, faux-gentle, as if he wanted to set a tone and at the same time appear a certain way ”I am Azul Ashengrotto. I am Octavinelle's Housewarden and the head of the Mostro Lounge.”

You passed the Lounge to cross the threshold of what used to be the V.I.P. Room-that's what the plaque on the door said-but you were convinced it was Azul's study.

The Lounge was elegant, but this room did not even look like it was part of the school (it looked more like the presidency than the presidency).

He sat down on one of the sofas, inviting you to do the same.

“How can I help you? Do you needs help with the upcoming final exams because….”

“Oh, nothing like that” You didn't know why he thought you needed help with exams, but perhaps it was a request he was often asked "My grades are pretty good, but thanks for the offer."

“Then how can I help you? I'll make sure to be as helpful as I can.” His smile was friendly and you could read a glimmer of interest in his gaze.

It was the first real thing you sensed about him.

“I've been told you have the roaster of the Spelldrive team” you mirrored his smile, tilting your head slightly as he nodded slowly ” I need them.”

Auzul seemed taken aback for a few seconds, before coming back to hi senses

“May I know why do you need them?”

“You may not” Vil's warnings had not left your mind for a moment ”So? Can I have them?”

He looked at you, adjusting his glasses, before replying

“You have to understand” the friendly tone had slipped slightly, giving way to a more serious tone ” They're my responsibility, I can't just give them to you just because you need them. Furthermore I don't even know what you're going to do once you have them. What if you cast a spell on them?”

Oh sure, who knows you might have decided to set them on fire. What a great loss

“Let's say it's confidential information.” You saw his smile sharpen,you had captured his interest .

Now you had to hope that was enough

Omake Vil had had to modify his skin routine that evening. He was absolutely irritated. Not only had you not looked him in the eye as you informed him of the unbecoming behavior engaged in by his dorm mates, but you also seemed extremely embarrassed at having him--you thought--indirectly involved.

Why? He didn't understand. It was his job to intervene in such cases; you had done well.

You thought he did not want to be associated with you. That was the only solution.

And it irritated him.

Taglist: @jessiegerl, @mewchiili

( As always, let me know if you wanna be tagged )

Diveders by @sweetmelodygraphics

[idontknowreallywhy]

Estera Ch 38 - Pace

Story so far

(From 34 for the story of this particular meeting)

Previous chapter 37 - Warmup

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They took the long route - the path across the fields and the slow climb skirting the cliff edge. Scott let Estera set an easy pace, meaning they could chat about this and that as topics came to mind. Estera pointed out the latticework of metal supports, disguised as similar native plant life, that had been installed as a community project to slow the rate at which the hillside was crumbling into the sea. Bez took great delight in bringing him drool-soaked samples of local plant life to admire.

Scott, in turn, pointed out one of the new high capacity low emission passenger planes flying so far above it appeared to Estera to be little more than a tiny cross in the sky. Apparently it was all about the angle of the wings - he’d been midway through a more detailed explanation when he suddenly put on a burst of speed to race a seagull which had overtaken him while riding the warm air currents rising from the sun-blasted cliff face. Bez, sensing a real challenge at last had dashed after him barking with joy.

She’d been well aware that a steady hilly-10k pace for her was likely to be barely more than a stroll for him, but still couldn’t help a quiet exclamation at the demonstration of just how much ground those long legs could cover in a few seconds when he really went for it.

The seagull still won though, with Bez a close second. Scott looped back round with an expression that dared her to make a point of it and Estera merely smiled and asked if he knew gulls could exceed 30mph. He did not, but proceeded to tell her a great deal about falcons, and the peregrine in particular as that was the fastest. She made a mental note to find out whether the local raptor breeding programme was accepting visitors.

Together they circled the field at the top and threw themselves back down the hill to double back and take the woodland trail. This was her secret weapon, the part where being lighter with a lower centre of gravity and shorter legs would be an advantage - the slope exceeding 30 degrees in places and the irregular steps exactly the wrong distance apart to take two at a time, or get any kind of real rhythm going.

Of course the point was not to run it - the route carved through the trees was aimed at those who wished to wander slowly through the fragrant sea of native bluebells without trampling the protected plants. But Estera found that they could be appreciated perfectly well at a slightly more vigorous pace. She called Bez over and he obediently lolloped up the slope just ahead, resisting the temptation to scamper about in the undergrowth.

The incline made it trickier to talk but they managed a brief slightly breathless debate about whether the flowers were in fact blue or purple. It transpired Scott’s definition of blue was rather more restrictive. Nevertheless he seemed impressed by the view.

They reached the top of the slope and emerged blinking into a more open area. Here the path flattened and broadened out into a meandering grass-lined trail under a much thinner canopy. They paused to catch their breath and turned to allow themselves to be a little impressed at the height they had climbed in such a short time. The waterfall of blue, unmoved by such achievements, continued to flow down the hill beneath their feet as it had done for centuries before.

“Well I confess you handled the hill better than I expected for someone who usually runs on a tropical island.”

Scott chuckled.

“What?”

“It’s a volcano.”

“Your island?”

“Yep. The house is built into the side and the lava tubes and caverns were converted into, uh…” he looked around furtively “… spaces… for the other things we keep there. So all of the running tracks are pretty steep in places.”

“Unbelievable.”

“What do you mean?”

“You actually have a volcano lair! Like proper supervillains. Do you fling your enemies into pits of molten rock?”

Scott responded with a wild stare and a deeply disturbing evil laugh, in such contrast to his usual light chuckle, and so very out of character that Estera couldn’t stop her jaw dropping in shock as she stopped in her tracks.

There was a beat of silence then he winked and both of them began gigging for real. Which, as Bez crept out from the bushes, confusion written all over his muddy face, quickly escalated into full-blown hysteria.

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Estera staggered to a grassy patch at the side of the path and sagged to the ground, leaning back on her hands and gasping for breath as tears ran down her face. Scott grinned fondly as he dropped down beside her, hiccuping slightly as he tried to gain control of his own breathing.

He might well be becoming just a little addicted to the rush that making her laugh provided.

“So how long have you been practising that one?”

“What are you suggesting? That evil glee doesn’t come naturally to me?”

She raised an eyebrow and he rolled his eyes in response.

“Fine. John and I blitzed all the Matrix movies in our teens. He was so taken by all the layers of meaning in that scene whereas I just wanted to nail Agent Smith’s maniacal laugh… took me months of eyeballing my reflection in the mirror to get the expression right but was worth it for the reaction I’d get from the girls at school.”

“Oh really?” Both eyebrows were raised this time and he suddenly found himself blushing.

“I was an awkward, clueless, hormone-ridden teenager… I had to use whatever underhand tactics I could to impress.”

“I find that very difficult to believe, Mr leaves-a-trail-of-starry-eyed-drooling-zombies-in-his-wake”

“I do not!” Scott shifted seamlessly from mild embarrassment to slightly grumpy. Why did people think this? The way his brothers talked sometimes made him sound like some deranged hypnotist who ran around breaking hearts without a second thought.

“Oh come on, did you not see that woman run straight into a tree moments after you smiled at her?”

Scott couldn’t even remember smiling at anyone. He looked back the way they had come, suddenly worried “Was she hurt? We should have stopped!”

“She was fine. She bounced off and kept running.”

“Oh, good.” Scott pondered for a minute and absently plucked at the grass, suddenly unsure of himself.

“I don’t do it deliberately you know… distract people? I just try to be polite and friendly. It’s how I was raised.”

“Sure sure… you have zero control over the power of the dimples…”

“That’s just my face! It’s the only one I have!”

“Oh indeed, the dashing good looks must be a terrible burden.”

He was about to launch into a defensive rant when he caught her eye and realised, belatedly, she was winding him up… he swallowed the rant. Then with superhuman strength held back the incredibly witty retort that came to mind about how lucky it was she was obviously immune to his powers… because he wasn’t sure if it wouldn’t make it sound like he was bothered by that. Which he wasn’t. It was a relief actually.

Instead, he tutted dismissively and threw the handful of grass at her. While she spluttered and scraped greenery from her tongue he shifted the conversation back to more comfortable ground.

“ANYWAY nowadays I just use the laugh to surprise the Tinies when they think they can sneak up on me. Have derailed a few pranks that way. Occasionally I just do it down the comm to freak Johnny out.”

“Maybe I should try it at school…”

“I didn’t have you down as the “terrify the tiny kids into obedience” kind of a teacher.”

“Oh not with the children! I meant in the staff room. The social politics are… quite something.”

“Oh! I’d have thought teachers would always be mature, pleasant people.”

“Wow, no. No no no. There are some absolute vipers. The malicious gossip, the looks, the not-so-subtle exclusion… well. The rest of us try not to give them any mind. I just hope they don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour in their classrooms.”

“Hmm. And if they are all wondering if you’re about to snap and feed them to your rabid alligators that might improve things?”

“Might be worth a try…”

“It might.” He nodded wisely, then smirked. “Maybe I should consider using it at board meetings…”

“You mean you haven’t before now?”

“Funnily enough, no. I’ve been going for the benevolent but all-seeing figurehead vibe rather than dangerously insane megalomaniac.”

“How’s that working out for you?”

Scott lay back and peered up at where the cloudless sky was visible through the leaves overhead. Green and blue swirled together for a moment as a bird landed in the canopy and the branches swayed violently.

He sighed and closed his eyes. “The Board think benevolence is weakness and fight me at every turn. The all-seeing bit is exhausting and if I’m honest with myself probably impossible. It all moves so fast… and you know I like fast but… this is different. As soon as I catch up more happens and I’m just waiting for something I miss to turn out to be incredibly important.”

Estera made a sympathetic noise and there was quiet for a moment but for the sound of the sea birds and mildly disconcerting sound of the dog gnawing on a lump of wood a few metres away. He suspected she was watching him but refused to open his eyes until he’d got the rush of sickening overwhelm under control.

Then she poked him in the side of the head.

“Don’t you have rather well-paid people to do the all-seeing bit for you?”

He grimaced “Eh, they might miss something.”

“Like what?”

He opened an eye to see her sat cross-legged with her head tilted to one side, her expression somewhere between curious but patient and… encouraging? Kind of maternal… he suddenly realised. Huh, you can take the teacher out of kindergarten but…

“Well I get these “executive briefings”” he paused to add the air quotes and then as if a stopper had suddenly been removed he continued in an unmeasured tumble of words: “And they are fine… good? Well, fine. But short? And it’s hard to trust that everything is there, you know? What if they are just telling me what they think I want to hear? Y’know? Or some small thing they don’t think is important turns out to be vital. It’s just… I get copied in on all these emails y’know? So I figure that means people expect me to know what was in them. But I can’t remember all that so I have to make notes and then, well then I have to double check my notes haven’t missed something and…” he petered off with an embarrassed half smile and a small wave of a hand. “You get the idea.”

“Have you got any reason not to trust your staff?”

“No! They are excellent! Couldn’t ask for better!”

“So…”

“I know… I know. I’m making it harder than it should be.”

“You? Surely not…” another gentle prod to the head. He poked his tongue out in response. Then propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her seriously.

“The thing is… what worries me is… I can’t waiver for a second.” He looked around, suddenly paranoid again. “If someone overheard this conversation, if the market got even a hint… if some stock broker guessed I wasn’t 100% confident… the share price would go through the floor and everything would fall apart! Everything! We couldn’t run IR for long without the income from the business. And so many employees and their families depend… not to mention everyone who needs the tech we’re making. That’s why I have to know it all! If a question comes in a press conference and I don’t have the answer…”

“Then you smile charmingly and you fudge it, Scott, like every other CEO on the planet.”

“I… wish I could.”

“You really can. Listen…” she reached over and placed her hand on top of his, and he slightly relaxed his vice grip on the grass beneath him and looked up at her warily. “It’s not actually all about the dimples, Blue…”

“I am not flirting with the Board” he interrupted. Suddenly feeling grouchy and exposed, he averted his eyes back to the treetops and tried to pull his hand away. She laced her fingers between his and held on firmly.

“Let me finish, Scott.”

“Sorry” he mumbled hurriedly. He wasn’t oblivious to the fact he was ridiculously susceptible to the Teacher Voice and felt slightly guilty that he had provoked her to use it. And he did value her opinion even if he was already convinced he would disagree with it should it be complementary. He inclined his head, inviting her to continue.

“The reason you are good with people is because you give a damn about them. It shines out of your every interaction - I see it on tv when you answer questions from journalists, when you talk to a barista, when poor Gary was having a meltdown… it’s not a common enough trait and it gives you such influence. If people feel valued they want to please you. I don’t know what it’s like in your meetings but if the Board went up against you in the court of public opinion they wouldn’t stand a chance and if they are business people of any sense they will all know that.” Perhaps the desperation to believe this was showing on his face as she squeezed his hand again. He swallowed and made a non-commital grunt

“The reason your business is doing so well is a lot to do with you, but that doesn’t mean you have to be in control of every tiny aspect of it. You’re going to crash and burn if you keep trying to do it all, Scott. You can’t keep up this pace forever. Even if you can you shouldn’t, it’s terrible for you.”

“What if they find out I’m faking it?”

“Everyone is, Scott. You’re no more a fraud than anyone else.”

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