#and having lots of fun with it too which is what really matters

[uncle-fruity]

I love the new year! It's my favorite holiday, and people who say that nothing changes or resolutions don't work or that everything is bad so there's no point in celebrating miss the point, imo. It's about getting through another year! It's about progressing and surviving and setting intentions for the new year. But too many people think of resolutions and new beginnings as things that have to be Big and Challenging for them to be meaningful, but that's really not how change works.

For the last several years, I've done what I call Resolution Bingo. I think of 24 things that range from Easily Doable to A Challenge and write them out on a bingo sheet. (Free space is always just Stay Alive.) The idea isn't to do all 24, but rather to try to get one or more bingos throughout the year.

I have never actually gotten a bingo (though I've come very close) but it doesn't matter. The point of Resolution Bingo is to put intention out there for the new year. I think of things I want to do or learn or get back into and I put them on my bingo sheet. Because of Resolution Bingo, I've gone to see more live shows than I used to. I've done more art projects & followed through with them. I've visited new places & had new adventures. I've learned new skills in cooking, needlework, and many other areas of interest. I have made both big and small positive steps for my life because of the resolutions I set at the beginning of the year.

So my advice is to think of resolutions as less of a major life change that you want to dive into -- take the stress off. You can make smaller resolutions that help with your bigger goals. I always tell people who decide they also want to do Resolution Bingo that they shouldn't put anything like, "Run daily/weekly," because as soon as you miss a day, it can demotivate you into stopping all together. Or, if you keep it going, you might feel guilty about marking it off on your bingo sheet at the end of the year, even if you still did a lot of work towards the goal. So, usually, I recommend setting realistic goals that get you going. Stuff like "run a 5k" or "run 3 different running trails" or you know... whatever is reasonable for you and has a tangible beginning & end. If you start working towards something fun or rewarding, you will still be doing the running you set out to do. Going for a daily run is good and all, but it's a slog if you don't know what you're working towards or if you don't allow yourself to rest on days that you really need rest.

My resolutions this year include things like getting a piercing, reading 50 academic papers, visiting all the libraries in my city, learning to place all the countries on a world map from memory, learning 3 new recipes, go somewhere new, complete 1 sewing project... Stuff that will take time and energy, but which will improve my life in ways I want to see it improve. If I don't set some goals -- even fun ones like going to a new museum -- I will just forget to do anything exciting or new & get lost in the depressing Grind of Life. And if you're lost in the depressing Grind of Life, remember to get outside and so anything at all that sounds appealing or productive or fun. It really helps to connect with the good things in life; makes you stronger and more stable in the long run.

I'm coming out as a new year's enjoyer. "Oh you will never stick to these goals" "nothing is really different between one day and the next" "why celebrate the bad years" because I want to!!! Because I love endings and beginnings and making lists!! I love the concept of starting the year by partying I love the drama of kissing someone at midnight I love the one time of the year when it is cold I love starting a new calendar and I love cheering for no reason

[jjkarmy091]

Second Best- Jungkook (part 8 )

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Wordcount: 5.781

Author's note: It took me a lot but here it is. Got so many blocks writting this and I'm not satified with it. It doesn't matter how many time I write and rewrite it, it feels like it's never good enough but I tried my best so please go easy on me. Hope you like it and let me know if you want a next chapter or not. Also: I'm sorry for any mistakes

Love you loads <3

When Y/n woke up the next morning she could swear her head was gonna fall off. It was one of those headaches it makes you wanna clung onto the bedsheets and never leave ‘till the next day. Flashbacks of the night before went through her brain but she brushed them off. She wanted to enjoy the few days she had taken, yet she’s still thinking about the same. She thought she was doing a good job but Taehyung’s words didn’t really help too, she definitely was going to face Sewoon with all these facts. Y/n always chose kindness over anything else but would all of that have gotten her anywhere? Looking back, she had serious doubts about that. 

Getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom she notices everything is still very quiet which means Lisa is still asleep. Y/n wants to do something nice for her so she decides to make a huge breakfast once she knows that food is Lisa's undoing and starts preparing things without making too much noise (or at least trying to). Everything’s almost ready when Y/n listens to steps aproaching the kitchen/living room area as she pours some orange juice in Lisa’s cup saying good morning. Lisa looks at her and smiles, answering her back and sitting down.  

“what’s all this?”  

“It’s just a way to thank you for being such a great person to me. I know I've been hard to handle these last days but I want you to know that I truly feel grateful for everything you’ve done for me so far. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know how things would’ve ended up for me, I’d probably be crying in my room, thinking how much I suck because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t love me back” 

“I told you Y/n, it’s completely fine. I always liked you. You bring such a positive vibe and you’re so kind and fun to be around. It’s good to be around you and if I can help you somehow I will.” A few minutes of silence passed until Lisa asked what she was dying to know. “Did you talk to him?” Y/n stops suddenly, swallows hard and shakes her head.  

“No” 

“care to explain why?” 

“I’ve been thinking about your words and you’re right! I have to stop being a pussy and be real with myself and my feelings, not for others but for me. All this mess started because I'm always comparing myself to others all the time. I was so scared that Sewoon and Jungkook would meet and I was the bridge for them to start something. I allowed this. If only I wasn't so afraid and had more confidence in myself maybe it would be me in Sewoon's place and that kills me inside Lisa. For once in my life it would have been simple and sincere and I'm the only one to blame for this."

"What makes you think he was never interested in you Y/n? Because from what you told me it seemed to me that he was quite into you” 

"He definitely wasn't Lisa, you're confusing things. He found my attitude towards him funny when we first met, I don't know. But he never showed any signs, he never said anything and I was afraid of destroying the friendship we were building by saying something. He even used to go on dates. At the end he would go to the coffee shop and we would talk about it and stuff.” 

Lisa frowned “So he went on dates but never hooked up with them afterwards? a boy in his prime, with basic needs and would always come to you afterwards? You never found anything weird?” 

“For what he told me he had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. I think he was more interested in meeting new people, go out for a bit, clear his head.” 

“and come back to you in the end” Lisa mocks while Y/n throws a piece of bread at her, hitting her in the forehead. “Don’t be annoying” 

“Y/n you may not understand much about boys but I do and that's not normal for someone who don't have feelings for you. At best, he would go home.” Y/n drank some of her juice. "stop it! if that was true he wouldn't have gone straight to my supposed best friend. Why would he do that if he was interested in me?  The way he looked at her, how he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would never be able to love anyone the way he loves her. Not to mention what he did for Sewoon. She told me some things and all I could think about was how I wish it was me instead. I hoped it was me but I'm a coward, that's why I'm still here, 23 years old and a virgin. Even in that regard, Sewoon was lucky.” Y/n looks at her plate, trying to avoid eye contact with Lisa, knowing that would be enough to make her start crying but kept talking

“How she described the way he touched her, grabbed her, how he -- in short, everything. There was this one time she couldn't stop talking about how and where they did it so I invented that I was super busy and couldn't talk so she could leave and I could cry in peace. I swore never again.” 

“After everything Tae told you do you still think things are as Sewoon says?” Y/n didn’t answer, instead she got up and started taking the dishes onto the table, washing them. Lisa got up too, leaving her plate in the sink "always listen to things with a hint of doubt but specially with your heart." Y/n decided to change the subject. 

“What are we doing today?” Lisa laughed “let’s introduce you to this place the right way. See something else than snowboards” With this they got ready for the day. Lisa already knew the place with the palm of her hands so she knew what and where to go with Y/n.  

Even tho her mind was still in another place she actually found herself enjoying their time there. She enjoyed it so much that she didn't even notice the days passing by until the day for them to leave had arrived. Although the first days were complicated now she didn't mind staying another day or two but there were things to fix that she was eager to mend and she wouldn't find the so needed peace she wanted until everything was cleared up.

On their last day there Lisa suggested to go for a hot chocolate where they found Tae and his friend once again. They saw each other a lot during their staying and ended up clearing everything up and agreed that Sewoon was a NO topic. That night they went to a club all together and Y/n remembers having so much fun and getting so drunk that she ended up on top of Tae's friend. (Not the way you guys are thinking, pervs ;)

Y/n already had too much to drink and once they were stepping out of the club she tripped and Tae's friend was there and tried to hold her only for Y/n to bring him down with her. All of them laughed and they even took a picture of them both on the floor in a suspicious position. She just hoped any of it would end up on social media, at least for now because she knew either Sewoon or Jungkook would see it, but of course things never go the way she wanted them too. On their way home Y/n got a notification on instagram saying Taehyung tagged her in a photo so she opened it and saw a set of pictures, the first being Y/n, Lisa, Tae and his friend with drinks on their hands and Tae's arm around Y/n's waist and the second just a photo of Y/n and Tae making a funny face among with other random pics with the caption “Glad to see an old flame again. Loved these days with the best people. Let's repeat it next year” Fuck

She still had two days before going back to work and a few hours' journey ahead of her and the last thing she wanted was to end these wonderful days in an anxiety attack at an airport far from home because of a set of pictures.

It was a peaceful trip, they both took the opportunity to sleep and rest during the flight since when they arrived they had a lot to do. Y/n agreed to move to Lisa's house just as she had proposed. One night before going to sleep she spoke with her landlord and canceled the lease so she had little time to organize her stuff and take them to Lisa's. As soon as the plane landed they looked at each other and smiled, grabbed their things and slowly walked out of the airport where Lisa's father was waiting for them. As soon as they got into the car, Lisa said 

“I'm sad it's over but I'm happy we're getting home. I honestly love traveling but the moment I get to my space and make myself comfortable at home is always the best of all. Speaking of it, we still have to get your things. How about we go to my house, unpack, have lunch and then pack the rest of your stuff? Unless you're tired”

“I agree with you Liz, nothing feels better than the comfort of home, and yes, I was thinking the same. I still have two days before going back to work so I have to make the most of it. Right now, i just really want to eat I’m starving and I can’t function without food” They both laugh. Lisa asked her father to turn on the radio and as soon as he did, Tate mcrae's new song started to play. Needless to say they started singing with all their power until they arrived at Lisa's house. Y/n didn't remember having that much fun, not even with Sewoon and she had known her for years.  

After arriving at the place, her father said goodbye to them and left their bags at the front door so they could unpack them. They decided to order Taco Bell and while they waited for food and for the washing machine to stop, they sat down on the sofa. Y/n was looking at her phone until she heard herself say 

“I don’t know what to do” Lisa gets confused and kept her silence in order for Y/n to say something else, getting comfy on the couch. It took her a while to speak again.

“I-  we got back to reality and I can't ignore the fact that I never spoke to Jungkook again ever since that day. It's making me nervous because my mind is racing 1000 percent, I mean, imagine he no longer wants to talk to me or listen to what I have to say.. In hindsight I should have said something to him but I was so hurt. Furthermore, I received a message from Sewoon asking what the hell I was doing with Tae without telling her. Let's just say it wasn’t a very nice message. What should I do Lisa?” 

“First of all breath Y/n. Being like this won't get you anywhere. Second: I honestly think you should send a text to Jungkook, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you know that ignoring him wasn't the right choice but that there are a lot of things he doesn't know and that it's difficult to explain. Ask him to meet, preferably in a place other than your work because it will draw a lot of attention on you. You still have time to get back to work, make the most of it before - " Before Lisa finished, the washing machine was heard making its characteristic sound and Lisa apologized and said she'd be right back while Y/n continued sitting on the sofa looking stupidly at her phone. Lisa was right, she couldn’t drag this anymore.

“Hi Jungkook, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I’m doing good. I know i probably kept you up at night, or maybe you didn’t even think of me but still I’m writting this to give you some heads up on why I disappeared the way I did. Truth is, I had a lot going on these last few months and I know that’s not an excuse and I was on the wrong for not replying to your texts but honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a real mess. I still am and the way I thought it was possible to get out of this chaos inside my mind was to escape my reality and move away. I'm sorry, I know I should have said something but I'm ready to explain everything to you now, if you still want to.  

I love you.” 

During the rest of the day Lisa helped Y/n move her things to her new place. The fact that she didn’t have a lot of things made it easier. After that, they went grocery shopping and ended up passing by Y/n’s work and decided to walk in being greeted for her co-worker Sana 

“Ohh well well well. Who do we have here? Good evening lady and welcome back! thought you’d never show your face around here again. I already miss you, how are you doing? And most importantly, when will you return? I'm so tired of putting up with the boss alone, everyday he gets more and more annoying” She says making Y/n and Lisa laugh. 

“It’s been wonderful having some days to actually rest, sad to see it end” Yn says with a smile. “How’s it going around here?” 

“Pretty much the same you know. Had your really hot friend coming over everyday at the same hour he used to come. I guess he didn’t believe me when I told him you took some days off. Weird you didn’t, you guys were so close and were together all the time I thought you’d end up together after he broke things off with Sewoon. The last time I saw him was two days ago with her actually. They came here together.” Y/n’s heart stopped for a second and she had a hard time breathing all of a sudden 

“Together how?”  

“Like I said they came in here together, sat at that table over there and chatted for a while. It was a very busy shift and I was alone here so I couldn’t see or hear a lot. When it calmed down I looked at them, Jungkook was holding her hand and saying something to her while she looked like she was crying or about to. Then I couldn't understand anything else because several customers came in at the same time. When I noticed, he was already coming to pay and Sewoon was at the entrance waiting for him. That day he didn't say anything, he looked somewhere behind me but didn't speak, he just smiled, paid and left but I couldn’t see if he went alone or with her. I’m sorry”  

Of course this was going to happen, all she had to do was disappear for a few days and they wouldn't waste time getting on top of each other. She was so stupid. Was she really worthless? Lisa looked at her worriedly but didn't say anything, simply ordered two drinks while Y/n thanked her and looked out the window. If she had known, she would have enjoyed the trip even more without thinking about those two. She felt bad about leaving Jungkook in a vacuum and he was very much entertained. She always had a tiny bit of hope but what for? Sana had left to prepare their order when Lisa spoke 

“Don't pay attention to it Y/n. It could be many things, you don't know. If he really was with her why was he always coming over and asking about you?” 

“Because that’s what friends are supposed to do Lisa! They worry about each other, which makes sense given how I left the club that night and the fact that I didn't say anything to him in the following days made him think that something bad had happened to me. Everything friendship based.. Maybe that's why he didn't answer me, because he's with her. Sewoon must have shown him the photos we took with Tae on vacation. He was sure I was okay so he moved on with her, again.  

Lisa didn't have the chance to say anything because their order was given to them and they said goodbye to Sana and made their way to the car. Lisa started driving and to get home they had to pass by Y/n's old house. As they approached the road Y/n saw someone she knew very well, Sewoon and next to her was Jungkook in front of her old appartment. As if they could see her, Y/n leaned as far back as she could against the seat.  

""Lisa, for all that is most sacred to you, please don't stop here, don't look, don't do anything other than move as quickly as possible. Don’t ask me anything just go!" 

Always the second, never the chosen, as always. 

-------------------------------------------------------------- 

As they get to their now shared apartment Y/n tells Lisa that she's not hungry and if she doesn't mind she's going to rest because it was a very long day and that tomorrow is the last day and she wants to take the opportunity to organize the rest of her things and relax. Lisa says she doesn't mind at all, that she also feels the same and is going to rest, specially because the next day she has a last minute meeting.

Y/n tried to make Lisa not notice it but she's not stupid. As she drove past Y/n's old building she saw the silhouettes that bothered her so much and all she had to do was put two and two together upon seeing her reaction. The only thing she wanted was to park and give Sewoon a good slap and tell her everything she had been holding back so far.  

After getting home both went to their rooms. Y/n couldn’t get any sleep. She tossed and turned but sleep was far away.  Y/n looked at her phone and still no text or call from Jungkook. Why was she stupid and sent him a text? Clearly he wasn't worried at all, not even an "ok" he had responded. Suddenly she felt her eyes blurry and that was when she realized the tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she was worth more, even if it was just in terms of friendship. After some time lost in her own thoughts, she decided to put on her headphones and try to get some sleep and managed to do so after a few hours. 

The next day, when she woke up it felt like she had been hit by a bus. Lisa had also gone out to deal with some matters at work, at least she remembered mentioning something about it. Once alone, Y/n had decided to stay in bed. Honestly she wasn't in the mood to do anything else and wanted to take to relax since she was going back to work the next day. Willingness? none. It was going to be hard but the way things were going neither Jungkook nor Sewoon were going to show up there or so she thought.

The next day her alarm went off and Y/n got ready for the day. She was going to do a double shift today since Sana was off, so she was on her own. For some reason she was nervous, it seemed like it was her first day again so her anxiety was on the roof. 

As incredible as it may seem, as soon as she arrived she saw her regular customers greeting her and telling her how much they missed her (most of them elderly people who used to frequent the shop even before she worked there and who had loved her since her first day) relaxed her immediately. Everything went very well. During her break Lisa went to see her and they chatted and drank coffee before going back to do the other part of the shift. Until then, everything was going perfectly. No sign of people she didn't want to see, she hadn't had any rude customers and her boss was in a very good mood. It was all too good to be true since luck is not something that goes on her side. 

Y/n was getting ready to close the shop and at that point she was usually alone. She was putting the chairs on the table when she heard the entrance bell signal that someone else was there with her. When she turned to inform the customer that they were closed, she came across someone she didn't want or even expeected to see.

In front of her was Jungkook with wet hair and helmet in hand. He seemed agitated, confused and angry. Very angry. Y/n couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. She stopped on the spot, what would she say or do? They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for almost a week and the atmosphere was tense and she just wanted to disappear. 

He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she had to turn away while saying "we are closed" and pretended to keep doing what she was doing. 

"Really? After days of complete silence while i was worried sick about you. After leaving without any kind of warning? After that stupid fight on the club and sudden departure with someone that neither Sewoon nor I knew, that's all you have to tell me? we are closed? Are you for real?” 

Y/n stopped doing what she was doing but kept her back to him. It’s a good thing he couldn't see her because her hands were like jelly, shaking so much that she thought she was going to faint right there, however continued to act tough and ignored him, took a deep breath and started walking to the counter until she felt a hand grab her arm.  

“Y/n please stop shitting me. I’ve been going crazy these last few days because of you and you act like you don't care. I don't know what's worse, your attitude or the fact that I don't recognize you at all" and with these words Y/n turned around and looked at him with tears threatening to fall. She released herself from Jungkook's hand and turned completely towards him. She was on the verge of bursting. 

“You. Out of all people YOU are the only one who can't say that. I did everything for you Jungkook. I was always there for you when you needed me, remember? I knew when you were good, when you were sad, when it wasn't the best time to talk and when you wanted to say something but didn't know how. You needed me and I was there but when it was the other way around, were you there for me? Did you care at all?” she sighed “All this because I didn't answer to some calls and texts from you? You were so worried about me that you were always tied to Sewoon, don't tell me you were also worried about me when you were inside her. Be honest Jungkook, you only remembered me when it suited you. Admit it, when it comes to me you don't think twice." 

Jungkook didn't say anything, he looked at her as if she had just stuck a knife into him. He expected everything but this version of Y/n. He had noticed for some time she was different but he never asked her because he didn't want to bring up the subject that was bothering her hoping she’d be the one to open up to him yet it seems like it was a bad decision to wait. Maybe he should have talked to her when he noticed it, he knows he was stupid but he wasn't going to give in now. He was about to speak again when Y/n continued her speech.

“Things weren't supposed to be like this but everything is already ruined so what I'm about to say won't make a difference and honestly I'm tired of staying silent so as not to hurt other people and try to please them. That's why I'm in this shit right now, so here it goes.” Y/n looks him straight in the eyes and more tears run down her face, it's now or never. 

“I’m in love with you Jungkook”

As soon as the words left her mouth, a sob came out as well. This is where it ends and she knows it. His expression changed from angry to pure shock. She knew him very well, but at this moment she couldn't read his thoughts, everything was so confusing, he seemed so confused and she didn't understand why. She was breaking and to avoid even more suffering said

“Please let's not talk about this anymore. Things are pretty obvious and we don't need to drag this out any further. I need to close this Jungkook, I'm tired and I need--" 

“How long Y/n? How long have you felt this way?” Jungkook's look was anything but disappointed. It was a look she couldn't decipher and she also didn't know if she wanted to. Y/n looked down and replied 

“ A few months after we met and started hanging out more” Jungkook turned around and placed his elbows on the counter and his hands resting on his head.  

“And you never thought to tell me? Don't you think that would be a good thing to do?” he sounded so mad. “All this time you had feelings for me and you never said anything, never showed any signs and now I'm the bad guy for moving on with my life? And why you’re talking about Sewoon? We broke things off a long time ago and you know it. You were there!” 

“Ohh please Jungkook, anything but that. I'm not blaming you for anything, in fact, I even supported you, remember ? it was ME who introduced you to Sewoon  because YOU wanted me to! Even if I told you earlier what would change? Every time you came to me it was either because you just had a dinner date or someone had asked for your number. You love to say I'm always on your mind, I guess that I wasn’t on it those nights. I'm just the girl you would share things with and ask for advice, you don't have to be very smart to see that.” 

“Is that why you left without saying anything?” Y/n looked at him and when he saw that he wasn't getting a response, he went to her and got so close that she could see all the moles on his face, some that she hadn't even realized he had.  

“Y/n answer me. It's the least I deserve.” Even though there was some distance between them, Y/n felt trapped so she decided to move away a little, hitting her back on the counter. 

“Yes. After our conversation at the club and the way I saw you look at Sewoon I realized that there was no chance for me, not that I didn't already know, but I got the confirmation that day and the way you were more interested in going to her than hearing me confirmed my guesses once again, yet it was when you went to her and you kissed in the middle of all those people that my heart was left in pieces. I looked at you and instead of being happy that my best friend was back with the girl he's in love with, I just wished it was me in her place. I had to get out of there before everyone saw me break." Y/n cleaned some tears that were running down

"In Sewoon's eyes I'm already pathetic, but in yours? I preferred to die than to know you had that image of me. I went to the bathroom and that's when I met a friend from school, we ended up talking and exchanging contacts. She asked me if I wanted a ride and I took the opportunity to leave, that's when you found me. That night I spent at her house and she made me an offer and invited me to go traveling with her. For my mental health I accepted and only God knows what it cost me not to have said anything to you and I'm really sorry for that, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but Jungkook you didn't care either because when I texted you back you never answered me. You can't judge my actions after having done the same thing.”

“You could never be pathetic y/n. I've always said how much I admire the way you are and I keep praising that, I would never get that impression of you. I know you went on a trip with Lisa and two other boys, Sewoon had shown me pictures of you, that's why I don't understand Y/n, none of this adds up. And I never received any text from you because unlike you, every day I checked if you had come to work, if you sent anything or if Sewoon knew anything about you. That's the reason I was with Sewoon a lot more these last few days. It's sad that I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday, I recognized her from those photos, so I went to her and asked her about you. She told me you were coming back to work today and to show up around this time because you'd be alone. I was crazy looking for you, wondering if you were in a dead end, that's when Sewoon called me saying you were okay, hanging with some guys you probably met there. She also sent me the pictures, that's when I calmed down.”

Y/n didn't know which part made her more shocked, if the fact that Lisa spoke to Jungkook or knowing Sewoon sent the photos to him and omitted the fact that they both know the boy in question.

"Oh my god. After all this time Sewoon is still keeping you in the dark. Well just so you know the guy who posted the pictures is Sewoons ex-boyfriend, the one she left you for. Remember when she broke up with you? Yeah it was because of him. There are definitely things you should clarify with her, as she changes everything that corresponds to reality. Things that don't concern me at all and to be honest I'm tired of this conversation, it doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and it's ove, so if you don't mind it was a complicated day --” She didn't expect Jungkook to get so close to her but the truth is that they were centimeters away from each other and that was making her even more nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to get around him but he put his arms on either side of Y/n's body, trapping her there.  

"Did it work? Did you forget about me there? Did any of those guys help you forget me?”  Y/n had no response, she was completely surrendered to looking between his eyes and lips. She wasn't brave enough to grab him and kiss him, specially since he was still fooling around with Sewoon or so she thought, even tho the denied it. Still she wouldn't feel good doing that even if Sewoon hadn't been the best friend, so she did what she does best, avoided the interaction.  

“"I had fun and regardless of things I don't owe you any kind of explanation. I finally learned my lesson and you're not the exception, Jungkook. You're the rule and I don't give second chances to get me hurt, not even to you. I don't want to continue in this agony every time I see you and ask myself why others and not me? It took me a long time to get there but I finally managed to understand that as long as I don't like and accept myself as I am, neither will others and for that reason I ask you not to come here again. This is a closed subject and one that I want to bury.”  

“We’re not done having this conversation Y/n, I have to tell you some-”  

“Yes we are Jungkook, don’t you get it? I just told you I’m in love with you. My best friend who’s in love with my other best friend, who's still into her ex boyfriend. Did you even hear what I said about Sewoon?"

" I don't care about Sewoon,Y/n. Don't you fucking get it? All this time the only person on my mind was you. I tried really hard not to call you because why would I need to know where you were or who you were with. In your eyes I dated your best friend but in my eyes the only thing that connected me to her was you."

"Lisa has been fixing something she didn’t break because of how weak I was to stand for myself. I’m tired of being this innocent and naive girl everyone can step on. I'm not blaming you Jungkook, you didn't know and things turned out this way and it's okay. It's over and I think it's the best for you and me. I’ll be here if you need something but right now I don’t want to be around you. I need to fix myself before being there for you or Sewoon again and if you really care about me you’ll respect that” 

“Y/n, you're not understanding I--"

“Please Jungkook, just go. Let me do this for me and maybe we can talk about this in the future and laugh about it.” He didn't say anything else, he swallowed hard, shook his head, picked up his helmet and left, slamming the door loudly and that's when y/n collapsed. 

"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much but I can't be your second option." Y/n said as she slid down the wall, succumbing to the pain of something she never had.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995

[yerions]

── jimin’s body. ( yjm ) 🔪

๑ A string of gruesome murders have been plaguing your small town with fear, there hasn’t been many leads on who this unnamed killer could be but never in a million years would you suspect that it was someone you were so close to…

pair/genre: popular!jimin ㅊ nerdy!f!reader, dead dove do not eat, college au, jennifer’s body au | warnings: horror, pwp, angst, smut, humor/dark jokes, set in the late 2000’s, jimin is your childhood best friend, yandere/succubus!jimin, mentions of depression/anxiety, childhood trauma, graphic descriptions of death and violence, gore, cheating, manipulation tactics, dub-con, virginity loss, d/s dynamics, g!p jimin, piv, fingering, oral, rough s.x, biting, slight knife play, unprotected s.x, breeding kink | words: 18.4k+

you can also read the jay ver of this fic here

**please heed ALL warnings before reading, i am not responsible for the content you consume !!

[ song inspo: mascara, do you believe, & cherry waves by deftones ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“you should come.” jimin’s figure hovered over your desk, her face so unbearably close to yours that one wrong move could lead to both of your lips accidentally colliding. “please y/n? it’ll be fun, i promise !” her former pout returns to guilt trip you even further.

you stood your ground and shook your head, leaning back into the chair for more breathing room. this wasn’t something out of the ordinary for her, jimin constantly invaded your personal space, never believing in boundaries when it came to you— and she’d get even more obnoxious by persistently asking to hang outside of classes.

“jiminie, i already told you before that i have homework to do..” you remind her yet again for the umpteenth thousand time, as if she didn’t already know that, not bothering to put much thought into considering her dumb little offer.

for the past hour or so she’s been bugging you about going to some dive bar downtown with her. it seems a lot of people were attending since a locally known indie boy band, ‘lucid dream’, is going to be performing there tonight. jimin would always rave about their music once she discovered them on myspace, growing quite the infatuation with the lead singer in particular. you really weren’t all that interested in going, you weren’t even a fan, plus you had way more important things to worry about. and besides, concerts weren’t your thing anyway, you’ve always hated large crowds— gives you an inducing amount of anxiety.

“ugh, why’re you so lamee, it’s like you’re allergic to fun..” she whines, dragging out her words which only made her sound even more immature. she’d never miss a beat to poke fun at you for being such a goody two shoes. “we’re not getting any younger y/n, keep going at this rate and you’re bound to end up an old, shriveled up cat lady who’s gonna die a miserable virgin !”

her snarky comments about your dry sex life didn’t phase you as much as they used to, but after a while you do get sick of hearing them all the time. to be frank, you aren’t even sure why you and jimin were still such close friends, maybe it’s because of the deep rooted history you two share, dating all the way back to when you were in kindergarten; or simply could be the fact that no matter what, jimin refused to never leave your side— ever.

you’ve had one too many disagreements and blown out of proportion arguments with her over the years, yet she’s never held any of those things against you, it’s practically a clean slate the next day. you’ll never understand why she’s so adamant on keeping this friendship alive when you’re just so vastly different from each other. she’s athletic, outgoing, extremely popular amongst her peers— and especially with men, of course.

jimin will never admit it out loud, but she’s always enjoyed being the center of attention, not to mention she was blessed with a well above average face that she used to her advantage quite a bit. she’d often came off as overly arrogant and crude to most people, she honestly had no filter when it came to voicing her own opinions; but that was the allure of her, made her charm even more magnetic to the dozens of guys (and girls) who’d fawn over her on a daily basis. she acted as though all eyes weren’t on her, yet she secretly relished it. if she wasn’t stroking her own ego, best believe there’d be someone who would.

you glare at her, wishing she’d just shut up already and go bother someone else for a change, but you know that’ll never happen in this lifetime. “i’m actually in a very loving and committed relationship.. so i rebuke that statement, thank you very much !” you quickly fire back, gathering your textbooks and other supplies, shoving them into the compartments of your black messenger bag.

“soo, i’m guessing anton’s dick isn’t really all that satisfying enough for you ? ‘cause you still act hella bitchy all the time… must not be that good,” jimin couldn’t help but giggle to herself, deciding to further agitate you. “oh, who am i kidding.. you probably haven’t even let that bastard kiss you yet.”

if you weren’t so mentally drained from the 6 hours you’ve just endured of back to back classes, you’d be beating her ass to a pulp right here and now. “we’re taking things slow !” you defend yourself once more, lifting from the chair as you’re about to head out the door, to which jimin follows behind to continue on her rampant taunting spree.

“it’s been 6 months y/n, how much more ‘slow’ can you take it ?” a group of guys wave at her as you walked through the corridor, but she ignores it and keeps walking like the pretentious snob she is. “bet the dude gets blue balls everytime he sees you.”

you stopped dead in your tracks for a second, turning around to face her only to be met with a smug grin settled on her glossy lips. the fact she gets such a kick out of constantly teasing you made it all the more aggravating, but eventually you caved in, as per usual.

“ugh, fine.. what time is it ?” you inquire, watching how she instantly lit up at your question. you knew she would’ve been moping and complaining for the rest of the day if you didn’t go with her. anything to get her to finally shut up..

“it starts at 9 but i’ll pick you up at 8:30 !” jimin caged her arm around your waist, pulling you into a half hug. “oh, and make sure to wear something good.” she quickly adds.

“um.. i always wear good clothes ??” a scoff leaves your lips, slightly offended by her critique of your clothing choices.

“really ?” she spoke sarcastically, eyeing the oversized crewneck sweatshirt you wore with cats printed all over, “this isn’t middle school anymore, it wouldn’t kill you to show a little bit of cleavage once in a while.”

you flat out ignore her comments. not even wanting to entertain her bullshit anymore, if anything it would only lead to a petty argument that’ll sour your mood for the whole day. you’ve learned the hard way that sometimes— well most of the time, letting jimin say whatever she wants was the best option, which is why she always gets away with it. she’s always been the more domineering one of the friendship, whilst you just sat back on the sidelines and let her menacing behavior go unchecked. you hated that you were such a pushover when it came to her but you’d rather just let it go than have a full blown argument that could potentially lead to her having an irrational outburst.

“i gotta go find anton, i’ll see ya later.” your mind shifts back to thinking about your boyfriend who was most likely waiting for you out in the courtyard.

“ew, whatever bye.” a look of faux disgust bestowed on jimin’s features, there was no inherent issue she had with anton— just didn’t really like the guy. she felt as though she was slowly being replaced by him, which is why she latched onto you even more than ever.

once you said your final goodbyes and parted ways, you head down a long flight of stairs to go search for your boyfriend. eventually catching him off in the distance as he’s sat on a bench outside, immediately going up to hug him.

“hey babe,” anton happily greets as you embraced him, embedding a kiss to your cheek, “missed you.”

“hey, sorry i showed up kinda late.. got a little sidetracked on my way to you,” you make up a quick lie as you don’t wanna fully admit that jimin was the reason for your semi-tardiness.

“got any plans tonight pretty lady ?” he asks with his arm looped around your shoulder as you sat beside him, he was hoping to spend more time with you since you’ve been so cooped up in the library studying for upcoming exams.

“well… yeah, kinda. i’m going to this concert thingy with jimin tonight.” there you go, not even a minute in of seeing your boyfriend you’re already bringing her up. it’s always jimin, jimin, jimin— this was really beginning to irritate him.

“oh..” he sighs, visibly tensing up every time he hears that dreaded name slip from your mouth. he knew this was how it usually went down, whenever he asks to spend time with you somehow jimin would always beat him to it. anton truly felt like your so called ‘best friend’ was the main perpetrator of sabotaging this relationship.

“we can still hang out for a bit before that !” you suggest, attempting to try and lighten the atmosphere, but anton still wasn’t too thrilled to hear that you were going to be with jimin for the whole night instead of him.

you know that anton never really liked jimin, and jimin also never really liked anton either. it was an odd, unspoken tension between the two but you couldn’t quite seem to put your finger on how or why it all started. anton was more adjacent to your personality, you’re both bookworms, lovers of all things pertaining to math and science, and you lived in the same honor’s apartment complex, which only housed the smartest students of the whole university. jimin however… she was a spitting image of everything you strived not to be. rebellious, put very minimal if at all any effort into her studies, was borderline narcissistic, and easily irritable around others. it was like a ticking time bomb with her, you never knew exactly when she’d go off.

“yeah only for like two hours..” anton sulked in discontent, sinking lower into the seat. “you always do whatever jimin tells you to do, it’s like you don’t have a mind of your own sometimes.. feels like you enjoy being with her more than me..”

“that’s not true !” you fire back, “she’s my best friend.. that’s it. you know you mean the world to me,” you anxiously express, fidgeting with the silver, heart-shaped friendship necklace that you and jimin both had since elementary school. “my roommate should be gone, i have the whole place to myself, come !” quickly, you grab his hand to lead the way back to your place.

“agh.. okay, better be lucky that you’re cute..” anton jokingly adds, letting you pull him away to the next destination.

๑ ๑ ๑

“so.. which one is she stalking online again ?” anton asks out of curiosity, comfortably sat on top of your bed, referring to jimin’s new obsession with this boy band.

“the lead singer of this band, she said he’s like ‘100% her type’ or something, i dunno.” you said nonchalantly, skimming through your wardrobe in hopes of finding an outfit that jimin would approve of, you couldn’t dress too revealing as it would only attract unwanted attention from random creeps, but you also didn’t want to present as too “modest” as you’ll only get teased even more than you already were by your best friend.

“huh.. interesting..” he slightly nods, reaching over to play with one of your stuffed bears that you’ve had since childhood. “i still don’t get why she couldn’t just go with someone else or by herself. she doesn’t need you there..”

you don’t answer, instead you were too preoccupied with trying on various tops, unsatisfied with most until you find a dark purple top that was a bit more form fitting. it showed your midriff just a little bit but it wasn’t too much that it would deem as “slutty”, at least in your humble book of opinions. checking yourself out in the vanity mirror to see how you look, you paired the top with some light wash flared jeans that you bought recently while out at the mall with jimin.

you weren’t too keen on buying them at first but she’d convinced you to get them anyway. standing in front of your reflection, you barely recognized yourself. you don’t normally wear these types of styles but according to jimin, you have to wear ‘good clothes’ so you kind of felt obligated to. finishing off the look, you took off your glasses, replacing them with contacts that you rarely wore, you’ve always hated that you struggled to put them in but it wasn’t so bad this time around.

“um, do you really have to wear such low rise jeans..? i can see your womb for pete’s sake !” anton sounded reminiscent of an overbearing dad the way he voiced his concerns, it was safe to say that he was definitely not a fan of this new look you were going for.

you playfully brushed him off, “quit being so dramatic, you’re just not used to seeing me like this is all !” you giggle at his overprotective nature, suddenly hearing a loud knock at your door from downstairs, “oh- that must be jimin !”

you hummed a soft tune as you make your way down the stairs, swinging the door open to your best friend who’s smiling ear to ear, throwing your arms around her shoulders to embrace her in a hug.

“i see you actually took my advice,” jimin says proudly, staring down your whole body as she examines your outfit, “are we good to go ?” she asks, looking effortlessly stunning in a denim mini skirt and a cropped tee that she bought from hot topic.

“yup, i think so !” you nod in content, quickly grabbing your high-top converse that laid on the floor, they were a little beat up and had doodles all over them all because jimin got bored one day and decided to scribble on the shoes without your knowledge. it added more character to them you suppose…

“i’d really appreciate if you stopped kidnapping my girlfriend all the time.” anton grumbles in annoyance, heading downstairs to kiss you goodbye. he possessively grabs ahold of your waist to show jimin that she wasn’t the only one in your life that you adored— he hated that this has now become an unfriendly competition of who could gain your attention more.

jimin scoffs, paying him little to no mind. “it isn’t kidnapping if she’s willingly going on her own accord, right ?” she shoots back in her usual condescending tone, anton was getting more agitated by the second, if this were an animation, steam would’ve definitely been blowing out of his ears right now.

“listen, i’ve had it with yo—”

“ok knock it off you two, enough !” you cut your boyfriend off before he could go any further, “you guys really need to stop, seriously..”

jimin’s demeanor softens the minute she hears your voice, as if you’ve snapped her out of a trance, “he’s just jelly ‘cause he’s not invited, let’s go.” she links arms with yours whilst heading out the door, faintly hearing the jingle of her car keys clashing together as she swung them around with her free hand.

a part of you feels like you’ve created this whole mess between them, you’ve noticed this mini rivalry ever since you began dating anton. jimin has never been one to give newcomers the warmest of welcomes, she’s constantly had this protective and territorial nature towards you, was just how she is. though sometimes, she’d take things a step too far. whenever she feels like you’re slowly drifting apart from her, she does everything in her power to drive a wedge between you and the other existing person. you and jimin have always been a tight knit duo— a packaged deal if you will; and she isn’t too fond of other’s being added into the mix, she’d try convincing you that all you needed was each other— no one else ever mattered.

that was until you met your boyfriend anton of course, jimin rarely ever conversed with him nor was she ever all that kind to him, but you managed to still work things out regardless of your best friend’s disapproval. in more blunt terms, you don’t think jimin would’ve approved of anyone you date, she was harder to please than your own parents and that in itself spoke volumes… on the contrary, you wouldn’t have much of an issue if jimin were to magically show up with a boyfriend/girlfriend one day, but within these past two decades of knowing her you’ve never seen her date a single soul, she could literally have anyone she wanted, hell, they were practically lining up to even be near her. yet she didn’t bother giving one of them the time of day, she preferred her own solitude; except when she’s around you, that is.

๑ ๑ ๑

you had no idea what to anticipate when arriving to this place, but soon as you and jimin walked into the establishment, you were invited with a completely different atmosphere than you expected. the way jimin kept talking about this place you’d assume it’d be more of a nightclub ambiance but it was more or less like your average, run-of-the-mill bar where everyone went to watch the sports game on the weekend. sure there were a lot of people here but it just wasn’t the overall kind of vibe you mesh with. from it’s dingy, beer stained walls, to the generic pop music that blared through the speakers, there was a pool table in the corner occupied by a bunch of sorority girls you recognized from school. your eyes landed on your past crush minjeong, who you never confessed to but still silently admired from afar to this day. you thought she was way out of your league, plus she was already dating someone else which made you harbor those secrets even deeper.

you sat at an empty booth, flipping open your phone to text anton who’s been asking nonstop if everything’s okay, though you’ve told him multiple times not to worry. there were a few guys who tried talking to jimin but she seemed quite unamused by them, her mission was to talk to this band that she’s been fangirling over, you’ve never seen her this excited over anything.

“come with me,” jimin suddenly pulls you out of your seat, making you go towards the front of the stage with her. she was smiling like an idiot, walking up to them confidently as she always did. there were a total of 5 men, all dressed in various types of leather and spikes, black filled their waterlines to look more edgy, their teased hair stayed in place with the shit ton of hairspray they used— pretty much your stereotypical rock band aesthetic. whether it was intentional or not, you didn’t know, but they definitely didn’t seem like the approachable type.

jimin makes the first move, introducing herself along with your presence. “hi, i’m jimin and this is my best friend y/n, i’m a huge fan of you guys ! i’m surprised you came out all the way here, aren’t you from the city ?” she sounded like such a groupie, you never took her as someone to kiss up to others, but there’s a first time for everything you suppose.

a man with fluorescent pink hair spoke, you assumed it was the lead singer of the band since he held a microphone in his hand, “nice to meet you, i’m skyler, but you can call me sky. yeah.. we’re a bit far out but we like to connect with fans all over, gotta start somewhere y’know?” jimin nods, looking at him as if he held the key to a world she’s never seen before.

“can i buy you a drink ? the options are pretty slim but there’s these red and blue drinks that i think are kinda good. gotta drink ‘em fast though or else they turn this weird brownish color…” jimin asks, hoping to give off the impression that she’s older than she actually is.

“sure, thanks.” he replied, winking at her as he prepares to set up for the performance.

“great, i’ll be back right !” she turns around in a flash, tagging you along with her for the journey.

“uh, jimin we aren’t over 21 yet..” you remind her, confused as how she was going to even pull this off, but she shuts down your doubtful attitude.

“i think you underestimate just how easily i can get anyone to do anything for me y/n.” she makes her way over to the bar with a confident stride, not even sweating the fact she may or may not be denied.

as jimin was busy getting the drinks you overheard the lead singer, skyler aka sky, talking to the bassist, you couldn’t help but get closer to eavesdrop on their conversation once you heard your best friend’s name being dropped mid convo.

“yeah that jimin girl’s definitely a virgin, she talks big game but i bet she wouldn’t even let anyone touch her..” he chuckles to his bandmates. your brows furrowed in slight confusion and anger, not only was she being overly friendly with them but they were taking her kindness as a sign of weakness.

“hey that’s my friend you’re talking about, asshole !” you intervened, quickly coming to her defense, “whether she is one or not, it’s none of your damn business and she’s sure as hell not going to sleep with some douchebags like you.” you couldn’t believe half those words even came out of your mouth, but when it came to jimin, you weren’t just going to sit back and let them talk about her like that.

“what’s going on ?” jimin interrupts, coming back with the drinks as she noticed a sudden shift in your behavior.

“they were just talking about you !” you point over to those shady men, still fuming with rage, “they said you were a virgin !”

“oh.. i mean does losing my anal virginity in the locker rooms count ??” she jokes, snickering to herself when she remembers that moment.

you face palm, “that’s not the point, jimin !” you were genuinely getting upset, why would it even matter if she was one or not ? why were they so hung up on knowing that to begin with ? were they planning on doing something to her ?

before you could say anything else or speculate any further, the lights suddenly dimmed, and the band introduces themselves to the crowd that was formed around you. sky went on a whole spiel about how they’re so grateful to be here and saying how they hope to bring more fans with this performance, they were promoting their new single, ‘dying roses’ which you thought was a pretty corny and cliché title but nonetheless you were only here in support of your friend.

as the band started playing their first song, everyone began head banging to the music, including jimin who was more than excited to be here. maybe it was because of the previous encounter you just had with them, but the music wasn’t necessarily hitting for you. it wasn’t the genre per se, you enjoyed bands such as hole, nirvana, and metallica, but they just seemed like complete rip offs of those said bands. it seemed like you were the only one who thought this way considering everyone else was vibing around you— especially jimin who was singing along to every lyric word for word. you seriously couldn’t wait for this night to be over with..

not even ten minutes later, you heard a blood curdling scream off in the distance. your body stilled with uncertainty, wondering what could’ve possibly triggered such harrowing emotions, yet that was soon dissolved once you saw the burst of flames invading your vision. a rush of panic kicks in as you finally register what exactly was going on and the only thing on your mind was to get the hell out of here. everyone else had the same idea as you, bodies scrambling left and right, hurriedly trying to find an entry to freedom. you checked to see if jimin was following behind you still but she wasn’t, she was gone. and so was the band.

you shouted her name as loud as you could, eyes becoming bleary whilst trying to find the nearest exit, pushing all the other attendees out of the way as the only thing you cared about in this moment was getting to safety and finding jimin. you remembered that the bathrooms had a small window so you made a mad dash to the stalls, praying to god that you’d be able to fit through.

surprisingly there was no one else there, grabbing a step stool from the corner to help you climb up and ease your way out. profusely coughing from the smoke that lingered underneath the door, you use all your strength to pry the window open, body running solely off adrenaline. relief washes over you when you’re able to successfully get it to crack just enough to squeeze your body through, gasping for oxygen once you’re finally met with the outside world again.

you looked back and see that the entire bar is now ablaze– with people still inside. you watched as parts of the building collapsed, crumbling to the ground as more people were coming out. you’ve never witnessed anything more horrifying, hearing the cries of others shouting for help as they were locked in with no way out. some were so badly burned that they looked unrecognizable, their scorched skin bubbling from the third degree burns. you couldn’t bear to see such chaos but you couldn’t look away. this sight was going to be engrained into your memory for the rest of your life..

anxiety struck through you when you realize jimin was still nowhere to be seen, you still had your cellphone in your pocket which you debated on calling 911, but you assumed they’d already be on the way with paramedics. you were surprised to have even made it out alive, but you hoped to god that jimin was also able to escape the inferno. when an arm reaches out to suddenly grab your wrist, your first reaction was to scream loudly. still suffering from the shock of what you just experienced.

“chill the fuck out, it’s just me y/n!” you instantly recognized jimin’s voice, turning around to face her. you couldn’t believe it was really her, completely unscathed just like you. you immediately wrap your arms around her, holding her tighter than ever before. you’d be able to rest easy now knowing that you two were perfectly okay.

“i was looking for you, had me worried sick !” your eyes brimmed with tears again, but it was more so tears of happiness. you wouldn’t know what you’d do if you didn’t have your best friend with you anymore.

“i’m sorry… we should’ve stuck together. i didn’t mean to abandon you..” she didn’t sound like her usual self, this time she was more frantic, just as much in shock as you were.

“oh thank god you two are alright !” sky, the singer of that shitty band runs up to the both of you, “you guy’s should come back to my van, it’s safer there.” he proposes, helping you back up on your feet as you were too weak to do so on your own.

you shook your head at that idea. “no way, i’m getting out of here, come on jimin !” you grab her hand but she doesn’t follow along.

“actually, i think i’m gonna go with them..” she says, letting go of your hand to head towards the van with the other guys.

“are you crazy ?!” you couldn’t believe she’d choose them over you, even if she was a huge fan, it still didn’t make sense for her to leave with them rather than her own damn best friend. you felt betrayed.

“look i’m in survival mode just as much as you right now, we gotta get going before anything else happens !” sky rushes to the driver’s side whilst the others hopped in the back along with jimin, who seemed perfectly fine with getting in a vehicle with a group of strange men that she just met.

you’re steady calling after her but she doesn’t listen nor budge, simply watching as the van speeds off. knowing deep down in your gut that something awful was going to ensue…

๑ ๑ ๑

it’s been two painstakingly long hours and still no call or text from jimin. the worry was only building up inside you. what if something bad really did happen ? what if she needed your help and you left her all alone to fend for herself ? the guilt was slowly starting to eat you up, consuming your already troubled mind. but then again, you thought you may be overthinking as you usually do. she was probably having the time of her life, probably even went to some after party with them. the betrayal of her leaving you still lingered in your thoughts. how could she have done this to you ? maybe she really was this self-centered, conniving woman that anton always painted her out to be. but maybe you were just as bad for letting her leave like that. you should’ve been more assertive, now you won’t be getting any sleep tonight until you know for sure that jimin will be fine.

you decide to call anton, needing to get all of this off your chest before you drove yourself anymore mentally insane than you already are. he picked up on the last ring, assuming that he was most likely asleep by now.

“hello ?” the sound of his sleepy voice gave you a sense of comfort, which is exactly what you needed at this time.

“hey..” you spoke softly, unsure of what to even say right now. you didn’t want to say anything straight away, you had to lean in towards that kind of conversation first.

“how was the concert ?” he asks, yawning as he kept talking.

you paused for a second, knowing that you’ll worry him the minute you finally express what happened hours ago. “there was a fire...”

“what ?!” there was absolutely nothing that could’ve prepared him for that, now he’s the one in full-blown panic mode.

“yeah..” was all you said in return, still trying to wrap your head around everything. the mental image of all those people still trapped inside, unknowing of their indefinite fate will forever stick with you.

“holy fuck.. you’re okay, right ?!” you could hear his body shifting under the sheets as he fully woke up from hearing this tragic news. he would’ve never been able to forgive himself had you not survived, he’d spend all of eternity blaming himself for it.

“yeah.. i’m fine. there was a stampede, you could hear their bones breaking and people running out the building as they were still on fire.. i don’t even wanna know how many didn’t make it out..” you felt sick to your stomach, you should’ve done more to help but all you thought about was saving yourself, how selfish…

“fuck.. i’m so sorry you had to see that y/n, i’m just really glad that you were able to get out of there…”

“jimin left with that band but i told her not to.. she hasn’t spoken to me since then and i’m really worried, we have to go save her !” you couldn’t shake this ominous feeling that something went horribly wrong, you had to trust your instincts on this one.

“who cares about jimin ! people died !” anton was baffled by how you were still only thinking about her when the main person you should be worrying about is yourself.

he then proceeded to go on an endless tirade about how horrible of a friend jimin is and that he knew he shouldn’t have let you go there with someone as untrustworthy as her. you just “okay” and “alright” your way out of everything he said, but you still had this deep inkling that you were right and you need to be there to rescue her. there was no real proof that she’d be in any danger, but something just seemed so off about that group as a whole..

that’s when you heard the sudden buzz of your doorbell, thinking it may just be your roommate who forgot her key, though it was quite late and you wouldn’t expect her to be coming back around at this time of night. you stilled in your bed, internally debating whether or not you should go down there to investigate; but you ultimately decide to do so anyway.

“shh, wait— ton, i think i hear someone at the door...” you tell him as you hesitantly get up, putting on your bunny slippers and slipping on a robe before slowly creaking the door open.

“who is it?” he asks, just as confused as you were.

“i-i don’t know.. that’s what i’m trying to find out..” you whisper, heading into the hallway, producing quiet footsteps as you held onto the railing that lead downstairs.

the air around you felt suffocating, only met with a grim silence whilst putting one foot in front of the other. each step you took became increasingly more cautious, you had no idea why you were such a nervous wreck or why you thought there’d be an imminent threat lurking your way, but the way your heart was thudding rapidly out of your chest made your flight or fight senses fly off the radar.

finally making it to the door, you suck in a bated breath, swallowing the thick lump that sat in the back of your throat. your hands shakily curled around the shiny knob but the minute you open it you’re left feeling even more uneasy as there wasn’t anything nor anyone at your doorstep. just pitch black darkness greeting you, along with the chilling sound of trees rustling through the wind. a heavy, lingering fog accompanied the atmosphere, sending an uncomfortable shiver down your spine.

you were puzzled, feeling as though someone was playing a sick joke on you. you could’ve sworn you heard it, unless you really were going crazy after all. you knew that you were a little loose around the edges, but there’s no way that you could’ve made that up— it was far too realistic. soon as you were about to brush this whole thing off and chalk it up as just a freak accident, your ears detected faint shuffling, movement coming from a far distance. this time coming from inside the confines of your own home.

…what in the actual fuck is going on right now ?

“i just heard something from the kitchen..” you made sure to keep your voice low, mind and body riddled with the fear of the unknown as you clutched onto the phone harder than ever. you couldn’t see much of anything, but you followed whatever the hell was making all that commotion.

“don’t go near it ? what the fuck, that’s horror movie 101 knowledge. never go to the noise !” anton warns but you don’t take his advice, instead you slowly crept into the living room, remaining vigilant of every move you take.

the noise only grew louder and since you knew that your roommate wasn’t here, this only made your panic heighten, afraid that there may be a possible intruder. carefully stepping into the kitchen without making a sound, your hands scramble to find the switch, turning on the light to reveal the cause of your worry. the noise stopped the minute you were able to see again, and an instant sigh of relief leaves you once you notice it was just a leaky faucet, screwing the handle to shut it back in place. but that relief would soon deem itself short lived when you hear that same cacophony of sounds from earlier, again.

you spun around to see your fridge wide open, and someone actively rummaging through it. your body froze in place, simply unable to move no matter how hard you tried to relax your muscles. it was as if something were controlling you, telling you not to move an inch; like it was protecting you from whatever may be on the other side. scraps of food met the tiled floors, containers and cartons being tossed and thrown in a rampage. as the refrigerator finally came to a close, you were more than shocked to see that it was none other than jimin, who’s covered in dried blood from head to toe.

“anton.. i’ll call you back i gotta go..” you muttered quickly to your boyfriend, feeling the need to tend to your friend who’s clearly not in the best of conditions right now.

“what?! no, don’t hang up y/n, please don-” you hang up on him before he could even finish. you were slowly able to regain your strength again, tiptoeing towards the girl who hasn’t even bothered to look up at you yet.

she looked more than unwell, as if she had just survived the most brutal attack of her life. her actions resembled nothing of a human, watching as she mindlessly consumed whatever she could find in her wake. she came across a pack of raw chicken that you’ve yet to open, savagely tearing through it, devouring the meat with her bare hands. you weren’t sure how to react to any of this, but you knew that she was exhibiting anything but normal behavior.

“what are you doing ?!” you finally broke the quietness that filled the room, but you were met with no response in return.

upon hearing your startled voice, she stopped eating and averts her gaze to you. her eyes were soulless, no emotion throughout her whatsoever, looking at you as if she’s never seen you before. instead of getting up she crawls over to you, still refusing to utter a single word. your lips part to speak again but you notice a shift in her odd aura, she began coughing in the most grotesque way possible, as if she were trying to get something to leave out of her body. that’s when she starts to profusely vomit, everywhere. it wasn’t just any normal vomit though, it was a black, spiny fluid, spread all over the tiles and even spilling onto your clothes.

“jimin, what the hell’s wrong with you ?!” you yell at her but it was no use. she was never going to answer you, it was like she was possessed by some kind of spirit.

she finally got up on her feet, never breaking eye contact with you; her dark pupils pierced through you like the sharp edge of a butcher knife. jimin could smell the fear you emitted, it only made her want to gravitate towards you more. the only sane option that ran through your mind was to call the police, taking several steps backward from her presence, but of course she doesn’t let you do that. she only moves faster, pushing you up against the wall with superhuman aggression. she grabs ahold of your wrist tightly, forcing you to drop your phone, a loud thud produced as it made contact with the ground. she remained silent throughout the whole ordeal, flashing you an eerie smile, only a hairs breadth away from meeting your plush lips.

you whimpered in fear, but she keeps shushing you, petting the crown of your head like you were a crying, wounded animal in need. “are you scared?” she whispers into you ear, already knowing the answer to that. she only continues to taunt you, licking a long, slow paced stripe along the base of your neck, coating her saliva onto your soft, shivering skin.

she wouldn’t go any further than that, simply letting go of you and backing away as if she just now was able to acknowledge what she’s done. her breathing grew heavier, unable to even look at you, it felt as though she couldn’t control her own body anymore. before you could do anything, she swiftly heads out of the back door, leaving without a trace.

“jimin !” you try to call after her, but to no avail, you were left all alone, traumatized for the second time of the night.

you’ve went through the five stages of grief all in under a minute, unsure of what to even do in this moment. you’re standing here, confused, overwhelmed, and mortified— but now there’s black vomit all over your kitchen floor and on yourself. you weeped again, hopelessly trying to piece together the fragments of what the fuck just happened moments ago.

๑ ๑ ๑

the next day everyone’s talking about the fire at school. many were mourning the losses of their precious loved ones, sobbing uncontrollably from the horrific events that occurred from the night before. you sat in physics class with jimin, who acted as if nothing even happened last night, carrying on as she normally did. your professor mr. choi, took a moment to speak about what happened, mentioning the saddening news that took place not even 24 hours ago. what was even more odd was that jimin was smirking the entire time, attempting to hold in her laughter as she heard the professor speak, you roughly nudged her arm with your elbow in response to her apathy.

“this isn’t funny..” you scold her for acting so insensitively, “people died, jimin ! it’s all over the news, we even made it internationally…”

she rolls her eyes, “yeah, so? people die everyday y/n, they’re not special. i’ll give it a week max and i bet you no one will be talking about it anymore.”

how could she even say something like that ? especially knowing that she knew some of the people who passed away, your beloved peers who fought for their lives at the very last seconds of being alive. it was more than insensitive, it was just plain cruel.

“what’s wrong with you ?!” you looked at her as if she’s gone mad, which she quite literally has considering what took place at your apartment last night. you haven’t mentioned it to her yet but you were reluctant on doing so, she’d probably deny everything anyway.

“what’s wrong with you ?? god.. are you on your period or something ?” she wasn’t even remotely phased by anything you were saying, if anything, she saw it as one big mockery.

you scoff in response, mumbling something under your breath as you listen to the professor continue on with his speech. you always knew jimin was the type to never wear her emotions on her sleeve, but it really rubbed you the wrong way at how she didn’t seem to shed an ounce of care about any of the people who lost their lives so abruptly.

“stop talking to yourself, makes you look even more like a weirdo,” jimin quickly comments, she was irritating you the more she kept talking. if you weren’t in this classroom right now, you’d be cursing her out and giving her hell to pay— but you simply kept your mouth shut for the time being. there’s a time and place for certain things..

your melancholy only worsened as the day went by, feeling this heavy, cinder block weight of depression carried on your shoulders. the more you thought of it, the more shitty you felt. anyone would have survivor’s guilt after what you’d gone through, but it only multiplied as it fully settled in, you felt guilty for even doing something as minuscule as breathing. you truly believed that you didn’t deserve to survive, that it should’ve be you in place of someone else… why didn’t you help anyone ?

once class was dismissed, you hurried up out of your seat to go meet up with your boyfriend. jimin followed behind you like a lapdog of course, but you didn’t want to speak to her. you debated on confronting her about yesterday, though you decided not to as you weren’t even sure where to begin.. you’d like to think that this was all just some intense fever dream you had but you know it wasn’t.

you physically remember being there, in your kitchen, sobbing to yourself while cleaning up the mess that jimin left. you couldn’t go back to sleep after that, not after the way she looked at you like that. vividly picturing the devil’s carved grin plastered on her face, like she was going to rip your heart out of your body and eat you alive. if you’re being completely honest, you were more fearful of your own life in that moment than you were at the bar.

even if you did tell her what happened, there’s a slim chance she’d take any responsibility for her own actions. her pride would never let her. you remember when you were kids she’d always make you get into so much trouble with her, but the minute you two got caught she’d simply deny everything and pin it all on you. jimin was always able to manipulate her way out of just about anything— sociopaths are quite charismatic. you’d often joke with her that she was one, to which she’d never deny or confirm. deep down you’d hope that your own best friend wasn’t, but those old memories gave you all the same reminiscing feelings you felt years ago. or maybe, you were just as demented as she is.. birds of a feather flock together, right ?

๑ ๑ ๑

jimin would only become increasingly possessive as time went on. she’s always exhibited quite clingy behaviors but things only snowballed from the night at the bar and onwards. she’d constantly be blowing up your phone, texting you the weirdest, most cryptic shit at 4 in the morning; or if you didn’t respond fast enough for her liking, she’d call you over twenty times until you finally answered, not caring at all if you were with anton. she only made you feel more guilty if you expressed needing space, simply threatening to harm herself or make it seem as if it’d be your fault if something bad were to happen and you didn’t pick up the phone. you don’t know what’s gotten into her lately, but she surely hasn’t been acting like herself ever since she interacted with that band.

a month has flown by and you notice jimin was starting to look paler than a ghost, the dark circles under her eyes made it seem as though she hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep in months. she looked like death. as if her own flesh was eating her from the inside out. you thought maybe it could be due to stress of some kind, but it wasn’t humanly possible for her to change this drastically. she resembled nothing short of a sickly patient lying on their deathbed, awaiting the grim reaper to come knocking at their doorstep at any minute. she lost a lot of weight as well, turning into a weaker, much more frail version of herself. it truly pained you to see her in such a state, how sunken in her face was, gaunt like a skeleton. an unbearable sight indeed..

“you look like shit..” you tried to say it the nicest way possible but there was no other way to express your concerns, “you okay.. ?”

“gee thanks, and yeah, never been better actually.” jimin replied, her tone laced with the utmost sarcasm.

obviously you don’t take her word for it. you know there’s something deeper going on but you didn’t impose any further. you didn’t want her to get upset or agitated with anymore of your prying, so you let it go for now.

the distressing environment around campus only thickens when a brutal murder was reported a few weeks ago. the sight of a decomposing body was found in the middle of the woods, right behind the football field. one of the professors discovered it as they took a walk along the trail— later identified to be sungchan, the hot and most beloved captain of the football team. his organs were scattered all over the perimeters, painting the greenery with a bold, crimson hue. some parts of his corpse weren’t able to be located, as most of his disemboweled body was eaten by the hungry animals, feasting on his rotting flesh like they just scored a full course meal.

this only caused an uproar of mass hysteria throughout the school, leaving everyone to believe that there may be something even more sinister going on. a vigil was held for him just as there was for the other victims who died in the fire; friends, family, and other town folk gathered around in memory of him. a police investigation was launched shortly after, but there haven’t been many updates on the case so far as no foul play was detected. the authorities simply assumed it to be an animal attack— albeit one of the most gruesome and barbaric attacks they’ve ever seen in their careers.

when you spoke to jimin about it one night, you discussed all possible theories you’ve been brainstorming in your head. you believed it very well could’ve been an animal that did it, possibly a wild bear that just enjoys munching on humans for dinner— but she told you that was far from likely. however, you thought maybe she was only saying that just to instill more fear in you, which secretly worked.

you didn’t completely dismiss the possibility of it being some bloodthirsty animal.. he was torn limb from limb with absolutely no sign of weapons being used, so the likeliness of a regular person being able to do something of that caliber with their own bare hands made it almost slim to none. you truly thought his death was one of the saddest ways to go out.. you never spoke to sungchan a day in your life but he was pretty popular and fairly well liked amongst everyone, you’d never guess him of all people would end up with a fate like this.

as you trudged through the halls, you bumped into one of your classmates wonbin, who’s been asking nonstop if you could set him up with jimin. you’ve known for a while that he’s always had a thing for her and was hoping you could play cupid and be the middle man for him. you’d been putting it off for a while since you highly doubted that she’d reciprocate those same feelings, but being the good sport you are, you end up telling him that you’ll talk to jimin, although you couldn’t make any promises.

upon meeting up with jimin later on in the day, you proposed the idea to her, but of course, she declined almost straight away saying she wasn’t interested. she referred to him as that ‘weird, stoner goth dude who tries too hard’ and wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole. you definitely expected her to be adverse to your idea, but maybe not to this extent. you just wanted to see your friend happy but of course jimin always has to ruin it…

however, not even an hour later, she ends up agreeing to it, as if a switch had flipped in her brain. you thought it was a bit strange how she’d simply gone from one extreme to the next but you didn’t question it as you had no reason to. ultimately, you were just happy for wonbin, at least he’d get to spend some alone time with his crush.

you on the other hand, had a multitude of worries of your own. you and anton were supposed to go see the new twilight movie in theaters, just to get your mind off everything— yet what you felt most anxious about was what’ll occur afterwards. you were planning on losing your virginity tonight, feeling as though you were ready to take the next step with him. well, at least you thought so.. but now you weren’t even feeling sure of that anymore. a part of you felt pressured to just lose it already and since you were dating anton, you may as well do it, right ? if only it were that simple..

๑ ๑ ๑

your nerves were at an all time high as you laid beneath his bare form. inhaling, exhaling, and repeating those same steps over and over. your mind was racing a million miles per minute, staring up at the ceiling as you rethink all of your life decisions.

everything seemed fine at first, until it wasn’t..

you couldn’t seem to put your finger on it, but all you knew was that this felt strange.. something doesn’t feel right.. all you could do was lay there, utterly detached from reality.

numbness.. that’s all you felt..

you wanted to crawl into your own skin and die, you shouldn’t be so repulsed by your own boyfriend being on top of you— but that was the only emotion you bore.

everything felt so foreign to you, his touch, the way he caressed you, it didn’t feel right. you couldn’t shake this odd sensation, it was something you didn’t want for yourself. you wanted to puke, absolutely sick to your stomach.

he kissed your neck, but you don’t feel a thing. completely stoic and emotionless. all you’re thinking about right now is jimin. you had this inclination that something went terribly wrong and you needed an escape.

“i-i can’t do this.. i’m sorry..” you finally say out loud, quickly pushing him off of you before anything else could continue.

“did i do something wrong ?” anton asks, confused by your sudden coldness.

you simply don’t answer, scrambling to put on your clothes and leaving his house in a hurry to go and run to your car. you began driving in the direction of jimin’s dorm, not knowing whether she’d be there or not. the limited amount of streetlights made it even more difficult to see, but you spot a shadowy figure heading towards you on the main road.

in a rush of panic you slammed onto the brakes hard, trying not to run over whatever’s coming towards the vehicle, thinking it was probably a deer or something—but you see that it’s jimin, her clothes stained in blood just like night she was in your kitchen. you immediately got out of the car to go help her but she was no longer there anymore, as if she’s vanished into thin air.

confusion doesn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling.. reluctantly heading back home, hoping that it was all some vivid hallucination that you were having— but the minute you went upstairs into your room, you see jimin sitting on your bed, not a single drop of blood detected anywhere on her anymore.

“what are you doing here ?” you ask, blankly staring down at her over the rim of your glasses.

“just wanted to drop by and see my favorite girl.” she smiles crookedly, looking much healthier than she did when you saw her earlier, “what’s wrong with that, hm?”

“why’re you in my bed ? just go back to your dorm jimin.” you didn’t have time for her little games right now, you just wanted to shut the whole world out.

“but i wanna stay… plus we always used to sleep together when we had sleep overs.” she pouts, proceeding to get even more comfortable as she had no plans on leaving anytime soon.

“is that my grateful dead t-shirt?” you get a bit closer to examine, growing irritated that she went through your stuff without even asking.

she doesn’t respond, at least not in the way you think she would. instead, jimin harshly pressed her lips against yours. stretching the neckline of your shirt to pull all your weight on top of hers. she managed to have some self control at first, but that didn’t last too long as she savored the taste of you. hesitantly, you kissed her back, whimpering at the feel of her tongue prodding at your lips, begging for entry. your mouth slightly parts, giving her just enough leeway for her to devour you in the sloppiest, most depraved way possible. she kissed you hard, hard enough to knock the wind out of you. nothing but raw passion and burning desire throughout.

her lips moved in perfect harmony with yours, tangling your hands into her messy, raven locks. jimin would only grow more unhinged, never letting you gasp for air for more than half a second. she explored the depths of you, every nook and cranny, like she wanted you down to the marrow, swallowing you whole. she felt this primal urge in wanting to bite you, to sign your death with her teeth— but she resisted, at least not yet anyway.

when her hands came up to find your hips, her touch felt scorching hot against your skin… lifting your skirt up inch by inch. then the realization of what you’re doing finally hits, that you have a goddamn boyfriend and this isn’t something you should ever be doing with your best friend. quickly getting off of her, shouting in protest.

“jimin, what the fuck ?!” you were horrified, not even wanting to look at her anymore.

“language y/n !” she giggles at your filthy vocabulary, licking her lips to capture your taste once more, “don’t act like you weren’t enjoying it either.”

“but i’ll admit, the reason i’m here exactly is.. i have a confession to make..” she takes a dramatically long pause before continuing, “i haven’t been completely honest with you, and you’re the only one i can trust.”

you look at her strangely, unsure of what she fully meant by that, “what is it..”

“i’m dead.”

now you’re staring at her as if she just said the most absurd shit you ever heard, which quite literally it was.

“huh ? what do you mean you’re dead?”

“what do you not understand y/n, it’s pretty self explanatory.” she casually says if she were simply talking about the weather.

“i’m not sure i follow..” you didn’t get where she was heading with any of this, hoping that it’s just some joke with a bad punchline.

“it means i’m dead— as in not alive.” she repeats nonchalantly.

“jimin, shut up. you’re not funny.” crossing your arms in annoyance, growing more impatient with her by the second.

“it’s true, i swear !”

“you’re ridiculous..” you’ve had enough of her little shenanigans, ready to walk away from her but she grabs you at the last minute, forcibly bringing you back to meet her gaze.

“just listen, it’ll all make sense soon,” she pleads, flashing you a sweet, puppy eyed look that could make anyone fold almost instantly.

“‘kay.. fine whatever.” you heave a sigh, sitting back down on your bed, still a bit reluctant on hearing her out.

“there’s something inside me… an evil entity,” she explains further, “ever since that night at the bar my body feels.. different.” she proceeds to tell you this dumb story that you weren’t buying for a second.

“c’mon, you really expect to believe tha-”

she cuts you off, proceeding to go on a whole tangent, “remember that band i told you about ? they drove me out to the creek, dragged me out of the van and offered me as a virgin sacrifice in exchange for fame and fortune. they kept telling me how hard it was to make it as an indie band so this was the only option they had left.. all i can remember afterwards was how much pain i was in… they each took turns stabbing me to death, singing some creepy chant as they did it, then they lit me on fire.. but the problem is that i’m not a virgin, so when sky and his little gang murdered me the ritual backfired and a demonic spirit took over my body. i was able to escape the forest but i left feeling so hungry.. so on my way back home, i saw some guy on the opposite side of the pavement, he looked quite edible so i ate him. and that’s how i started eating human flesh.”

you had no words. your only reaction was to blink rapidly at everything she just told you. there’s no way she could be telling you the truth, stuff like that only happens in movies, pure fiction. “that’s the craziest fucking story you’ve ever made up in your entire life, yu jimin.”

she seemingly grows frustrated at the fact you aren’t taking her words seriously, but she kept on talking anyway. “i’m being serious y/n, you’ve gotta believe me ! they’re basically agents of satan, they simply used me as a pawn. i was their gateway to the lifestyle they so desperately wanted to achieve..”

“so what you’re saying is that you’ve been reincarnated as a demonic spirit that feeds off of human flesh ? that’s what you’re trying to get at ??” you ask, confirming her very weird, but oddly specific narrative.

jimin nods, “yes, that’s precisely what i’m trying to say.”

“so.. you’re telling me you’re the one who killed sungchan ?” you question outrightly, hoping at the very least she had nothing to do with it, but if what she is saying was true that could very well be a possibility.

she nods again, “yep. and wonbin.”

your blood ran cold the minute upon hearing that, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets, “wait- what ?!”

“yeah, i only agreed to meet up with him just to eat him. so it’s practically your fault that he’s dead.” she shrugs, seeing it as if it was no big deal.

you couldn’t comprehend a single thing your ears were hearing right now.. your own classmate was dead and gone because of your best friend.

“you’re a fucking monster.. he had a whole life ahead of him. hopes and dreams just like the rest of us..”

“well, now he’s food for worms, sucks to suck,” jimin shrugs again, speaking so nonchalant about everything it made you want to scream at the top of your lungs.

disgusted didn’t even amount up to what you felt, sitting there in silence trying to process all of this.

“anyway, wanna see something cool?” she asks, not even bothering to await your response as you gave her the most questionable look of all mankind.

“i can withstand any injury without pain and i’m difficult to kill, see.” she takes one of your gel pens from your nightstand and stabs it straight into her own wrist, she was bleeding heavily at first but then the wounds start to close up within a few seconds, eventually fading away as if she didn’t just stab herself at all.

“see ! how cool is that ?? like some x-men type shit,” she says like a giddy school kid, bragging over her new abilities. “when i’m full, i’m practically invincible. i’m a fucking god.”

again, you were too stunned to speak. you genuinely thought you were losing your mind at this point, there’s no way any of this is real. it’s all a bad dream. you just need to pinch yourself and you’ll wake up, right ..?

“oh by the way, that night i snuck into your place, i was having all sorts of thoughts.. even thought about hurting you but i could never do that..” she finally admits to the night when she went into your kitchen, “i was just so hungry but nothing would satisfy my craving..” her eyes were a window to the truth, and by the looks of how empty they were, it was safe to assume you still had every right to frightened.

“jimin, i- i really think you should leave…” your whole body was practically shaking, you couldn’t bear to look but you were far more terrified of looking away— falling apart at the seams.

she doesn’t even budge a little upon hearing you, “oh c’monn y/n, let me stay the night; we can play boyfriend and girlfriend like we used to… good times am i right ?” she strokes your hand with hers, not even fully understanding the gravity of what she’s done or said this whole time.

“jimin you’re freaking me the fuck out !” you raise your voice louder, removing yourself away from her touch. how could you let a literal murderer touch you ?

“there’s no need for you to be. i already told you that i’m not gonna hurt you.. at least not in that way..” jimin clung onto you again, this time dragging you back down onto the bed as she forced herself on top of you.

you scrunch your eyes shut at the feel of her hands on you, idle fingers sneaking under the hem of your top. a surge of heat flushes down your thighs, blood rushing to your cheeks... and to your core. god, you were so embarrassed right now.

“w-what are you doing …?” you breathe out, opening your eyes once again, only to see her staring straight into your soul.

“don’t get all shy on me now.. we’re just havin’ a bit of fun,” she answers, “just messing around like the old days, right ?” she slid her index finger under the band of your skirt, pulling you closer, her lips only centimeters away from yours.

“jimin no, please-” you begin, but don’t have the time to finish your sentence.

“shh, it’s okay, i’ll take the lead. we can go slow… i promise i won’t bite. unless you want me to.” she darkly chuckles, tilting her head to the side, pressing a light kiss to your lips. surprisingly, you reciprocate it. she pulls her hand away from your skirt, enveloping it around your throat, not putting too much pressure around it just yet. “see, i knew you’d be into it, you’re my little freak, aren’t you ?”

you hated that you were getting aroused from this, the way she spoke to you in that husky tone. that same bubbling heat rushing to your core again.. you wanted to fight it, you truly did, but you couldn’t. your mind was telling you one thing but your body was reacting differently, as if you were under some spell that she casted.

you don’t know what to answer to that. is there even anything you can even say back to her ? you couldn’t speak even if you wanted to. and besides, what’s the point of lying when she has you trapped between her body and your mattress, her fingers gripping your neck, her lips brushing over your face, would you really be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying this ? she practically knows you better than your own self at times, of course she’d be able to tell…

she kisses you again, but this time much hungrier, her tongue dominating yours easily. she nudges your legs open with her knee, her other hand swiftly diving under the hem of your skirt, groping your soft flesh in a lewd way that keeps you out of breath— apart from the fact that her tongue is currently exploring your mouth.

she grazes the bump of your pussy covered by your lace panties with her fingers, making your knees buckle at the unexpected contact. you wanted to close your legs shut, but when she slowly rubs the pad of her middle finger over your clit, a desperate whine escapes your throat, muffled by her mouth on yours. the moment only brief until she dips her hand into your underwear.

you try to make her stop by grabbing ahold of her wrist, pulling away from her lips to pathetically whisper a ‘p-please’ that only makes her giggle in response.

“mm.. already begging for me, sweetheart ?” she softly laughs, smirking at you. “excited by the idea of my fingers in your little cunt instead of your boyfriend’s ? hm ?”

you frown because that wasn’t the reason why you begged her, but now that she said this... your thoughts are going into a completely different direction. what the hell’s wrong with you ?

“you wanna know how it feels, baby? what it’s like to have your pussy stuffed by someone else’s fingers…” her dirty talk only continues, you couldn’t fathom this was really jimin speaking to you in such a vulgar manner like this. your best friend who’s about to take your virginity whether you wanted it to happen or not, she was going to make sure that anton could never have you in such a way, wanted to ruin it for everyone else like she always does.

she’s not waiting for a response as she starts stroking your bundle of nerves in slow circular motions, applying some pressure to really make you feel it. you let out another whine, this time of genuine pleasure.

jimin then shifts down to your entrance, circling it with a lot of delicacy, but this gentleness of hers doesn’t go on for too long as she pushes a finger into you without warning. you bit down on your bottom lip harshly— the size of her fingers in no comparison to yours. your eyes swelled with water, faint little cries escaping your mouth when she adds a second digit.

“i know, i know,” she whispers, “must be uncomfortable, hm?” you nod your head, confirming her words. “it’ll feel good soon, i promise. you’re probably only used to the feel of your tiny fingers, it’s normal…”

when she says this, you have a hard time believing her. how could it feel good when you weren’t at all prepared for this— when it’s not what you wanted..

she begins moving her fingers in and out of you, slow and long strokes at first, circling your clit with her thumb at the same time. she’d curls her fingers every so often, making a little hook shape, patting your sweet spot. the intrusion was uncomfortable, but it progressively gets so much more pleasurable as she thrusts into you at a regular pace.

tears continued to flow, falling down to your cheeks, lashes all wet and sticky, but they weren’t the result of your pain…

“god.. look at you. so pretty when you cry,” jimin murmurs beside your ear, butterflies swirling in your stomach when she tells you this.

she unwraps her hand from your throat to instead grab your thigh, placing your leg around her shoulder. you now feel her fingers way deeper inside of you, gently and deliciously stimulating your g spot. you dare to look down where her left hand is operating between your thighs, sliding in until she’s knuckles deep into your pussy. this makes you breathless, head rolling back onto your pillows, having never experienced anything like this before.

“o-oh my god-!” you exclaim when jimin’s ministrations bring you so close to your orgasm. your legs couldn’t stop twitching, your body warning you of your approaching high.

you’d probably be more aware of how hard she was if it weren’t trapped in her loosely fitting jeans, but you literally cannot focus on anything else other than jimin fingering you, hitting your sensitive spots each time she thrusts in.

“that’s it, baby,” she coaxes, moving faster. “you feel it ? huh?” she asks and you’re able to croak out a weak ‘yes’. “tell me how it feels.”

you hate her questions— you hate them so damn much. she knows how you feel, but she wants you to say it, she wants you to say that you enjoy it, and… your body really does.

“g-good.”

“yeah?” she breathes out, fucking your cunt with her fingers, enthralled by the little moans and whimpers you let out.

“yes,” you confirm, closing your eyes and slowly nodding your head. “fuck !” you curse out when you finally reach your high, nails digging into her forearm as you ride out your orgasm, your entire body violently shaking.

jimin helps you by slowly rubbing your puffy dewy clit in circles, telling you more dirty words in your ear, all while said in the sweetest tone, as if what she’s doing can be described as anything sweet.

“good girl,” she praises, “see, i told you it’d feel great.”

she still has her head in the crook of your neck, and you frown at the feeling of sharp teeth against your skin. it’s barely there, just brushing over it, as if hesitating to act… but jimin retrieves back, looking into your reddened eyes.

she could simply stop there, but she won’t— not until she fully got what she wanted, she needs more…

she pulls her hand out of your panties, fingers glistening with your arousal. “open wide for me, baby,” she instructs.

you glance at her hand, a little repulsed. you’ve never thought about tasting yourself and it’s surely nothing you’d have ever done… if not for her.

you then reluctantly open your mouth and she enters her wet fingers in.

“suck,” she adds on, expecting you to blindly follow all of her orders, and you do so without a second thought.

she stares down at you while you lick her fingers clean and she slides them a bit deeper, pushing down on your tongue. the taste of yourself isn’t what you thought it’d be… it doesn’t taste like much of anything, in fact.

she removes her fingers from your mouth only to put them in her own after. “just as sweet as you are,” she grins. “stand up for me, wan’ you to suck me off.”

your wobbly legs do their best at balancing themselves, slowly getting up only to be told to get back down on your knees. you sink down to the ground, leaning over to eye her stiff erection through her pants, slowly rubbing your hand over it as you palm her in your grasp. she hisses at the feel, already loving how you obediently take orders, how you’ve become nothing but a mindless slut for her.

you didn’t know the first thing you were doing but you did what felt natural, so you free her cock from the confines of her pants and underwear, watching as it sprung out and slapped against her stomach. jimin was huge. her veiny, pink dick standing tall in front of you, gulping as you debate on how you’re going to take all of her in your tiny mouth.

her length throbbed in your small hand, tip already leaking out a pearly bead of precum, dribbling onto your fingers. you slowly press your mouth against the tip, keeping it there for a bit to get a little taste of her and to get used to the feel. then you swirled your tongue lightly around it, loving the salty tanginess of her precum against your tongue.

“fuck… feel so good around me already,” she bit her lip harshly, gripping the sheets as she groans with pleasure.

you wrap your mouth tighter around her length as you begin to slide your head down. bobbing it back and forth, keeping a tight suction on her cock, making sure not to use any teeth. you feel jimin’s hips jolt up from the feel as you drew more saliva from your mouth, making a mess all over yourself.

she let out a low moan when her length hits the back of your throat, accidentally gagging at how much you took. you couldn’t take all of her in your mouth completely, but you did the best with what you could, bobbing your head as your hand stroked the rest. the way you looked while taking her made her want to combust at the very sight, nothing could compare to having your mouth around her.

“atta girl, keep going— just like that baby— ahh….” she keeps encouraging you, giving you small praises here and there. she does her best not to keep her eyes off you but she wanted to shut her eyes from how good you were making her feel, you were such a natural at this. as you continued stroking her cock with your pretty, talented mouth, she elicits more moans and it only makes you want to make her cum faster.

jimin bit her lip even harder, trying so hard not to close her eyes, taking in shallow breaths. she could feel herself getting closer and her whole body tenses up like she’s got a volcano erupting inside her.

“shit— think ‘m gonna come… damn baby…”

you couldn’t say anything since her cock was buried deep down your throat. the only thing on your mind right now was getting her to finish inside your mouth. you lightly hum as you pick up your pace, she matches your movements with her hips, fucking your mouth aggressively. there was saliva everywhere, your face was flushed and you seriously looked such a mess. a beautiful mess, all for yu jimin.

you feel her thickness throbbing in your mouth and a warm sensation hits the back of your throat. white ropes of her cum releases into you and you swallow it immediately, to which you earn yourself a “good girl” as you look up at her, drinking up all her cum. surprisingly, she tasted really good, emptying every last drop of her, once you finally pulled away she orders for you to get back on the bed and to bend over for her. you only hesitated for a second, looking at her credulously before doing what she asked of you, trembling legs meeting with the soft sheets again.

“are you…?” you say under your breath, peering over your shoulder to see jimin stroking herself, looking at your glistening pussy that’s spread on perfect display for her.

“gonna put my cock inside you ?” she finishes your question for you. “yeah, i am.”

you stop breathing at her answer, sensing her deft fingers touching your thighs and hips, going under your skirt to drag your panties down. she gives a couple more pumps before aligning herself with your dripping wet entrance. her free hand keeping your skirt crumpled up over your ass, laying the other one on your hip.

“careful, sweetheart,” she says softly beside your ear, “this might sting a little bit more than two fingers.” she swipes the head of her cock through your sticky folds and all you can do is moan pathetically at the feeling, lewd, wet noises echoing throughout the room.

you can’t see her length even with the way you contort your head to look over your shoulder, but you’re still able to see her chest and hips moving as she pushes her cock into your pussy. the burning sensation of your cunt getting stretched out was enough to make you see stars, and she was right. this hurts way more than her fingers, the two feelings were not comparable at all.

“jimin-,” you cry out, holding onto the sheets below you for dear life until there’s no more blood circulating in your knuckles.

she hears you, loving the sounds you’re making because of her and the way you say her name with eyes full of tears. when she bottoms out inside of you, her pelvis flushed against your ass, she lets out a low grunt and throws her head back, closing her eyes to savour the pleasure entirely.

you bit onto your lip, compressing a moan that dared to slip from your mouth again. she deliberately pounded into you, like she wanted everyone near to know just how badly she was ruining you, wanting you to beg and cry out for mercy, like she wanted every bone in your body to bend and break.

you involuntarily clench around her, making her tighten her grip on your hip. she thrusts herself deeper into you, her cock sliding in and out of your pussy at an agonizingly harsh pace. each time she bottoms out, jimin makes sure the skin of her thighs slap against your ass, the sounds almost as loud as your little moans and whimpers.

your wetness allows her to fuck her cock into your pussy back and forth, welcoming her so perfectly without any restriction. it’s almost impossible for her to not hit your sweet spot, and she reaches so much deeper when she lifts up your thigh with the hand that was previously placed on your hip.

you don’t know how long you can stay in this position for, especially when jimin’s drilling her hard cock into you like nothing else matters. it’s like she needs it from you, and as the pleasure only builds up in you, you start thinking you need it desperately, too.

you’re breathing heavily, and so is she, feeling her hot breath fanning against your neck when she tilts her head down closer to yours. you can clearly hear her breathing now as well as her deep grunts that leave her mouth every time your gummy walls close tightly around her, literally sucking her right in.

“shit,” she curses out as she pushes lightly on your back, deepening the arch of it so your ass is flushed against her pelvis.

she kisses your neck pretty messily, but it only raises the temperature of your body, your skin boiling hot under her soft lips. she leaves a wet trail behind, going up to your ear, down to your shoulder. telling her to stop isn’t even possible anymore, it wouldn’t make any sense… would be absolutely stupid when you’re so close to your second orgasm. you shouldn’t be enjoying any of this but it’s honestly arousing you so much.. jimin lets go of your thigh to take a hold of your jaw, turning it around so she can look at your face.

your mouth gaped to let out big puffs of air, and it’s the same for her, her breathing being irregular and heavy. she didn’t think she would ever need something that badly, which is making you hers, surprisingly enough. making you hers in whatever way possible; whether it’s by fucking you to death or eating you— or both. jimin doesn’t care, she just wants it. it doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to pass through you, arms and legs shaking as the knot at the pit of your stomach snaps. jimin feels it very clearly, your walls hugging her cock terribly tightly, bringing her closer to her own orgasm as well.

“please.. jimin, so good..”

“gonna come in this tight little virgin pussy.” she captured your waist pulling you closer into her. “wanna put a baby in you, bet you’d like that, huh ?”

“holy fuck,” she hisses, her hip thrusts accelerating, literally burying her cock in your cunt until strings of white paints your insides. “oh, god…”

she stays in this position for a couple of seconds, catching her breath. she then slightly backs away, making sure to keep your skirt crumpled up over your butt, looking at the mess she made of you.

but she wasn’t done just yet, she wanted you to be completely, utterly, and thoroughly ruined by all parts of her. her fingers, her cock, and now her tongue.

“just need another taste..” jimin couldn’t get enough of you, practically blinded by lust, all she wants is to have you, only you, no one else was more perfect than you.

she bends down, toying with your clit and licking your opening until you turned into a yelping mess underneath her tongue, tugging onto the sheets, pillows, whatever you could grasp, feeling like you were about to die. she had a strong grip on your thighs, kept you in place while you came on her tongue like you were made for it, so pretty and ashamed that she’s lost all self-restraint, if ever had any to begin with.

she continued to lap at your cunt, kissing and sucking at your clit, moaning into your heat. hands caressing your thighs, fingernails piercing, spreading you open wider for her. you grind against her face and jimin couldn’t help but moan at the way you were so enthralled by the feel. her tongue never letting up against your clit, following your cunt with every movement you make, not letting you catch a break from the feeling of her against you.

her mouth domes around your clit, sucking you right in, teeth lightly grazing against your bud, momentarily making your back arch. mid arch, jimin slips two fingers into you. the slight sting makes you hiss as she stretches you out again, long digits buried to the knuckles inside of you upon initial thrust. she soon plants open mouthed kisses against your cunt, fingers working their way in and out of you at an obnoxious pace, curling naturally.

the combination of jimin’s tongue and fingers, along with her lips planting kisses against your cunt in between sloppy licks, is all too overwhelming. you couldn’t stop clenching around her fingers, pulling them in to beg for more, to which she gladly gives. fingers fucking into you faster, much deeper than ever before. the feeling of your impeding orgasm has you shaking, practically vibrating, unable to brace yourself for it.

tears pooling down the side of your face as you moan out for her. the tips of her fingers repeatedly hit the soft, gushy spot deep inside of you, biting her lip as she watches you come undone for her all over again. her thumb massaged your clit, slowly but surely dragging you further off the edge. you felt yourself relax into her touch, into the feeling of lust and desire fully engulfing your soul. that’s when it takes over… your vision blurs, almost going black, mouth agape as you let out broken moans. it’s all too much for you to handle, but you never want it to end..

your chest is getting hot and heavy, tightening as you cum, releasing all stress and tension, absolutely melting into this state that makes you feel like you’re floating. your body was on cloud nine as your cunt spills all over her fingers, wetness squirting all over jimin’s forearm and thighs.

“jimin…” you said her name on repeat, so low and barely audible, mind all foggy and hazy, as if she’d hypnotized you and the only word you can say was her name.

๑ ๑ ๑

a modus operandi. every killer has one, don’t they ?

some tend to prey on the young, weak, and most vulnerable. some may even go so far as devising a foolproof scenario that’ll get others to feel sorry for them, only to lure them right into their devious traps.

jimin was no exception to this rule. she knew exactly how to use her beauty and charisma to get anyone to fall for her tricks. she didn’t need to put in too much effort or seek anyone out because they’d always come to her. it was almost too easy, she had a whole line of men at her disposal on campus, all of which could soon become her next meal. and no one knew a goddamn thing besides you. which only made you want to scream internally. only you knew the real truth.

wonbin’s death was the next topic of discussion for this whole week as more terror spewed upon the town. no one saw it coming, he was the last person anyone would think could be a target. gossip spread around quickly, revealing more details about the scene of the crime.

some of his internal organs were missing and was cannibalized just like sungchan was. his body was so badly mutilated the authorities couldn’t even identify him at first. many were now believing it to be an act of some kind of satanic cult as there was a gigantic pentagram smeared in blood on his bedroom mirror. some were even saying that he looked like ‘lasagna with teeth’, to which you shuddered at that mental image being planted in your mind.

there was a campus curfew set in place to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the rest of the students. everyone’s worried they’ll be next, and since the killer hasn’t been caught this only made the entire town as a whole become on edge. the streets were barren, no sign of any activity past nine o’clock. no one felt safe, it was as if everything was on lockdown now. many were concerned that the upcoming spring formal would get canceled, but it’s been confirmed that it’ll still be held, although the times were changed from 7-10 PM to 6-8 PM to follow the curfew’s ‘no one out past nine o’clock rule’.

while studying in the library, you decided to do some of your own research about jimin’s strange condition, reading as many occult books as you could find. you later discovered that she’s a succubus; a female demon that has sexual activity with other men. she was at her weakest state whenever she’s hungry, needing to feed on human flesh in order to sustain her lifespan and overall appearance. you never believed in the supernatural before all of this, but now that you’ve seen it with your own two eyes, you don’t think you’ll be able to live a normal life again.

“this can’t be real… there’s no way any of this is a coincidence, first the fire now a cannibal psycho’s on the loose?” anton rants about the recent murders as you sat on the swings at the park together. you were jealous of how blissfully ignorant he was, how he had no idea how much deeper this all ran.

“i know… it seems like we can’t catch a break, now the whole words got a raging tragedy boner for us..” you sigh out heavily, still shocked by how much media coverage all of this was getting, and even more uncertain if you wanted to tell him everything.

“you alright ?” he suddenly asks, noticing the way your head hung low as you stared at your feet. it was as if he could read your mind.

you pause for a moment, battling with your own inner demons on whether or not it was a good time to tell him everything, but you decide to be honest. it was the least you could do after what happened the other day…

“actually no.. i’m not..” you couldn’t withhold this information all to yourself anymore, you had to tell anton. you needed to keep him from going to the spring formal; it wasn’t safe for him to go, even if you would be with him.

so you spill everything, starting off from the night of going to the bar with jimin, how she was brutally murdered and left for dead by that boy band who used her as a ‘virgin’ sacrifice, you told him about how she was there in your kitchen, and how she ended up slaughtering so many innocent people in her wake. you felt so sure of yourself that anton would believe you, but you were soon proven wrong the minute he opened his mouth.

“yeah you’ve officially lost it y/n, i hope you know that.” he looks at you as if you’ve gone crazy, mirroring the same actions as you from the night that jimin confessed to you.

“i’m telling the truth anton, you’ve gotta believe me. you have to promise me that you won’t go...” you practically beg, hoping that all of this won’t fall on deaf ears, but of course, he doesn’t listen.

“i’m sorry but i don’t believe anything you’re saying right now.” he chooses to remain stubborn, staying in his ignorant little bubble as if you were just making all of this up just to get a reaction out of him.

“anton, i love you and care about you so much, that’s why i’m asking you not to go.” you continue to try and reason with him, hoping that he’ll change his mind somehow, even if you sounded like a lunatic you didn’t care.

“she’s going to strike again that night, i can feel it. it’ll be like an all you can eat buffet for her !” you may not be the most morally correct person, but anton’s life was on the line. you just don’t want him getting turned into satan chow…

“look, i’m going and that’s final y/n. with or without you.” he wasn’t interested in hearing whatever else you had to say, he’s already made up his mind and there no use in changing it.

you huff out of frustration, unable to think of anything else so you do what you feel was best for him and the both of you. “i really didn’t wanna have to do this but it isn’t safe for us to be together. i think it’s best we break up..”

his eyes widened, feeling the pace of his heart quicken at your sudden words, “what ? you can’t be serious, y/n.”

“i bet jimin put you up to this, didn’t she ?” his jaw clenched, fuming at the thought of jimin conspiring a whole plan in getting you two to finally break up, it’s what she always would’ve wanted, and now anton feels like he’s just lost that seven month long, intensive battle against him.

you repeatedly shook your head, denying his accusation. but deep down you knew that you’ve already broken his trust anyway. maybe it was for the better that you were no longer together.

“are you really too blinded to see? she’s always been a bad influence on you..” anton was fed up at this point, feeling rightfully hurt by how easily you wanted to end this relationship all because of jimin. “if she told you to jump, i bet you’d ask ‘how high?’, she’s got you wrapped around her finger, controlling you like a damn puppet !”

you were now the one to get in defensive mode, visibly getting upset. but you couldn’t get too upset, you knew there was a small truth to that statement, you were willing to do a lot of things you normally wouldn’t for jimin, but you weren’t just going to let anton talk to you like that. your pride was too strong, plus you were already dealing with enough as it is. parting ways from each other was probably the best solution for you two.

“no.. i was only trying to protect you, but don’t say i didn’t warn you..” you gave him one last chance to rethink his decision but you knew he wouldn’t.

on that note, you end up heading back home. leaving anton all alone to go ponder in his own thoughts, feeling his eyes burning holes into the back of your head as he watched you walk away, fading into the void of obscurity.

๑ ๑ ๑

the night of the spring formal was finally here. the night you’ve been dreading since having that conversation with anton, forcing you to break up with him. the minute you got here you’ve been on high alert, scanning the area for any sign of suspicious activity, bringing a swiss knife with you as an added layer of protection. everyone was dressed in their best attire, bodies swaying to the music as they all tried to have a good time despite of everything that’s been happening. you didn’t see anton which you thought was a good sign, but surprisingly, you also don’t see jimin anywhere either.

you were engulfed in nostalgia once mr.bright side by the killers airs on the overhead speakers of the gymnasium; which used to be you and jimin’s favorite song in high school, but that fond memory only brought a wave of sadness to your soul now. looking back on those days, you specifically remember how much jimin’s presence gave you strength to keep going; to keep existing. you truly felt as though you had no reason to live, but she gave you one.

during your adolescent years, it was nothing but turbulence and chaos. your father would routinely come home at the crack of dawn, drunk as sin and belligerent, destroying everything he touched. your mother would do her best to shield you from seeing and hearing their daily arguments, telling you to go straight to your room and lock the door until she says it’s safe to come back out. but being the nosy, and curious child you were you’d push your ear up to the door and listen. hearing the most horrid, degrading words he’d spew, beating her black and blue until he physically grew tired and passed out on the couch. you’d run away from home a couple times, going to jimin for comfort, finding solace in one another.

jimin could easily relate to your struggles, how you both felt as though no one saw you as real, raw human beings. her father left before she was even born and her mother would dabble in sex work to keep the lights on. she despised every single one of those men who’d come into her home, sometimes her mom would be gone for several days on end, forcing her to grow up at such a young age and take care of herself. she wanted to seek revenge on all of those men who violated her, kill them with her own bare hands. maybe that’s why she’d act out so much, she was just a kid being a kid— but no one ever saw the cries for help, no one paid attention to the signs, or the scars. just labeled as a pretty face with ugly intentions. you never saw her that way though, you were the light at the end of the tunnel, her saving grace. yeah you may have been the awkward kid who didn’t talk much, but eventually she got you to open up. and ever since then, you’ve been conjoined at the hip.

a part of you still wants to believe that she’s that same naïve little girl you once knew, still so lost and so confused. but you couldn’t keep making excuses for her, even if she was a damaged soul, so were you. you truly brought out the best and the worst of each other, having seen each other at some of your lowest points in life. which is why you made a vow to never leave the other behind, but we change and evolve over time, it’s natural to grow distant. jimin simply couldn’t handle the fact that someone else made you smile, made you feel all those emotions she once made you feel— you were slipping right through her fingers. you were all she had left. and she wasn’t going to lose you, not now, not ever.

๑ ๑ ๑

an hour’s passed by already and there was still no sight of either of the two. your mild worries would soon fester into full blown anxiousness when you get this innate feeling that anton could be in danger. you weren’t exactly sure where he was, or if he’s had an encounter with jimin, but all you could think about right now was saving his life. even though you betrayed him in the end by sleeping with jimin, you couldn’t let him die, you’d never be able to live with yourself if you let that happen. so you hurried out of there and went looking for him, having zero idea exactly where you were headed, but your mind just kept telling you run, run, run.

you don’t know how long you’ve been running for, maybe around twenty, thirty minutes ? who even knows anymore. your legs grew tired, stopping midway to take a breather, until you ended up at an old abandoned pool house. you had an overwhelmingly bad feeling about the place the more you looked at it, but when you heard the gut wrenching screams coming from inside that only confirmed your suspicions, sounding a lot like someone you knew. you ran inside, following their cries for help as you try and locate which direction it was coming from, only to find jimin who seems to have found her next victim— your ex boyfriend.

“get away from him !” you demand while shouting from across the room. you can feel your heartbeat accelerate as you’re speed running towards them both, forcefully pushing her off of anton, tackling jimin onto the floor.

“why’re you doing this to innocent people ?!” you had held some hope that jimin wouldn’t harm him, but then again you should’ve known this was bound to happen..

“i’m killing boys, there’s a big difference,” she devilishly smirks, swiping the blood off her lower lip with the back of her hand.

jimin throws you off of her, causing you to wince in pain as your face made contact with the cold, tiled ground. you wouldn’t back down that easily though, getting right back up to finish what you started. sprinting towards her before she could get back to the work of her own brutality.

“y’know, now that i think of it. you were never a good friend to me,” you angrily spat, walking up to her with your head held high, refusing to let fear win this time. “you used to rip the head off my barbie dolls and pour spoiled milk all over my bed !”

jimin chuckles at your little speech, utterly amused by your resilience, even found it cute how you were still reminiscing about the past. “and now i’m eating your boyfriend, at least i’m consistent.” she shrugged.

“you make me fucking sick..” you grit through your teeth, grabbing ahold of her before she could take another bite out of anton’s shoulder.

using all your strength, you’d shoved her into the pool, submerging her into the water, attempting to drown her, but those efforts were futile when she regains control. she pulls you back, teeth becoming sharper, like tiny daggers, sinking them into the flesh of your neck. before you could react, you’re the one being lodged into the water; claw-like nails digging into your scalp, razor sharp, heavy against your skull.

it’s hard to keep your head above the water due to the forceful heaviness and before you know it, attempting to hold your breath renders itself useless due to large amounts of water infiltrating your lungs. you’re flailing, thrashing around, arms lifting— hands frantically attempting to grab ahold of anything, only to slash through the water, legs kicking mindlessly.

you had to get her off you real quick, or else you felt as though you were going to die. your body grew weaker and weaker, seeing your life flash before your very eyes as panic fully sets in. it felt as though this was going on for hours.. being edged by death over and over; feeling as if you were going to black out soon. your vision was blocked by the dark, murkiness of the water, ensuring to agitate you with fright, unsure of when it’s all going to come to an end.

and then it does… finally able to emerge from the coldness as you cough up all the water you inhaled. it took a few minutes for you to be able to learn how to breathe again, attempting to calm yourself down, only to turn around seeing both anton and jimin wailing in pain for two completely different reasons. anton was lying on the ground, putting pressure on his neck as jimin stood there frozen, holding onto the pool skimmer that was deliberately pierced through her stomach.

“you son of a fucking bitch…” she mutters, remaining still for a second, as if she was processing what just happened. a slew of more curses left her lips, sucking in air through her teeth to appease the pain as much as she can. she’d slowly but surely drop to her knees, and a few seconds later she’s collapsing to the ground in a pool of her own blood.

you go up to anton, staring down at his wounded figure, his neck and shoulder bleeding profusely. “i’m sorry i couldn’t save you..” you sniffled, unable to hold back tears you’ve shed, wishing you could’ve been just a few minutes earlier.

“it’s okay.. i love you y/n..” anton weakly spoke, coughing up red splatters of blood as he took his last few and final breathes.

you gave him one last kiss as his eyes closed, you checked for a pulse but there was no sign of life, officially pronouncing him dead. you turned around and jimin was gone. forcing you to run out of the place to go and looking for her. there was no other option you had left at this point, it was either you or her that was going to end up dead tonight.

eventually you’d caught up to her in the woods, finding her at a nearby tree, as if she were waiting for you to come searching for her.

“i have to kill you..” you cut straight to the point, grabbing the swiss knife that was at the bottom of your ankle boot, pointing it towards her.

“not if i spill your pretty little guts all over this ground first,” jimin laughs, barely moving an inch. still seeing this as all one big game to her, enjoying the thrill of it all.

“why’re you try to be the hero all of a sudden ? still feeling guilty you couldn’t save all those people who burned to death ? they were all a bunch of worthless scum anyway, if anything, i did them all a favor.” her head tilts as she asks so many questions, attempting to throw you off, knowing that it’d only agitate you further.

you backed away as she kept coming towards you, still pointing the sharp edge at her, “you’re wrong, jimin. they all deserved to live yet you took it all away like the sick, inhumane fuck you are.”

“is that really what you think of me ? then why’d you let me take your precious virginity, hm ? can’t you see ? i’m the only person who actually ever gave a shit about you.” the smile on her face was so uncanny, as if it came straight out of a cartoon. she was nothing but pure evil, and she knew it.

you couldn’t bear to listen to her speak anymore, it was giving you a headache, you had to end this quickly. you remember while doing your paranormal digging, that a blade to the heart can kill any demon, now it’s all up to you to finish the job.

“i don’t care how long it takes, you’re going to die by the end of this night.” you stated matter-of-factly, you weren’t going down without a fight, and jimin happily accepted your challenge with open arms.

she bursts out into more laughter, but it was anything but normal, it sounded maniacal, as if she were taunting you. “i’d love to see you try, sweetheart.”

she lunged forward to snatch the knife out of your hand, wrestling on the ground with her to try and get it back. you couldn’t let her win, not after all you’ve went through. all you had to do was plunge the weapon into her chest and you’d end this reign of terror once and for all. but once you obtained the knife, positioning it towards her chest, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“if you’re going to do it then just get it over with. just do it already.” she bitterly spoke, repeating her words over and over, egging you on in your already frenzied state. even if you wanted to, you couldn’t, it was like the minute you had your chance, every particle inside of you froze…

“shut up, shut up, shut up !” you couldn’t even think straight, just shaking your head nonstop while screaming at her to stop talking.

jimin could’ve easily overpowered you by now, but it was almost as if she wanted you to do it, willingly ready to die by the hands of you.

“and to think i used to truly believe you were my other half…” you looked at her in disgust, unable to see her as the same girl who you once knew for practically your whole life. you felt as though you wasted so many of your precious years befriending someone you don’t even know anymore.

“silly girl... don’t you remember ? i bit you, so you'll eventually obtain my supernatural powers.” she reminds you of what happened not even an hour before, “our souls are connected now.”

you shook your head in protest, refusing to even entertain that idea, “no… i could never be like you, i’d rather die than be like you..”

jimin didn’t seem to be bothered at all by your opposing comments or your lack of compliance. if anything, it only made her want you even more. sure, you may not be cooperating now, but she’ll soon condition you into believing that the only thing you’ll ever need is her.

she cracks a faint smile, “i’m afraid it’s already too late for that, my darling,” she spoke to you softly. not even realizing she’s took the knife from your hands, bringing it down to your thighs, letting the blade run across your delicate skin.

“jimin…” you say her name quietly, barely above a whisper. something inside you shifts the minute your gaze meets hers, a warm, fuzzy feeling tickling a certain spot within your brain chemistry. you don’t know how to describe it, but your body feels different, so inexplicably different. as if it doesn’t even belong to you anymore.

“you know i’ve always loved you y/n,” jimin sweetly coos into your ear, “i just have an awfully morbid way of showing it.”

her words flustered you to no end, feeling guilty for wanting to just give in, all the fight soon evaporating from your body. although you still had so much love for anton, your undying love for jimin over the years trumped all of those emotions. the primal desire for her only grew once she’d connect her lips with yours. kissing you tenderly under the glowing moonlight. just you and her. along with the faint coppery taste of blood on each other’s lips.

you know why you couldn’t kill her. because if you did, you know there’d be no one else in this world who could ever understand you in the same way she does. the two of you shared an eternal bond that could never be erased nor replicated. if you were the kerosene, then she was the match, slow dancing in each other’s flames gracefully.

a made match in heaven ? no, more like a match made in hell.

[timperleyworldofwater]

hey so this is something i covered throughout my degree so i'm somewhat qualified to talk about it, plus i lived in austria (the bit that's in the Alps at that) for like a year. but to spell it out as simply as i can: it's not the geology we have a problem with. you are also not being accused of being a white supremacist here, and if you believe that is something you're being accused of, have a think about that. it's a fucking pervasive ideology that is much, much more than white hoods and nazi rallies. hopefully what i'm gonna talk about will help you understand that.

the Alps were vital to the Nazi Aesthetic because they symbolised a ""simpler way of life"" rooted in ""German tradition"" (read: white supremacy). the Nazis didn't really care as much about the actual agricultural traditions of the region which spanned throughout German, Austrian, Italian and Swiss territories, instead they kinda garbled together an aesthetic not dissimilar to the tradwife/homesteading shit we're seeing online today. they're pretty closely interlinked in fact, but that'll take another post to get into. after Austria was annexed, a decent portion of the Alps became Nazi territory, i.e. it was now for the ""German People"" only. invoking the Alps unprompted rings these alarm bells immediately!

plus (only really speaking for Austria here) the alpine villages are not as Untouched and Remote as you want to think. the state of Tirol has a pretty robust transport system (i know this having lived in Innsbruck, which had really good links to surrounding towns and villages outside the city). you also kinda forget you're in the Alps the longer you live there because you only know the mountains by their local names, like the Nordkette or Patscherkofel. it only really matters that they're the alps for tourism or like. geography and geological studies. it's just not important to people living in the (especially German and Austrian) Alps that they're in the Alps because it gets weird pretty fucking quickly if they talk about it a lot beyond basic geographical information. this is one reason out of many why it wouldn't work with DE's main themes, because almost everyone you talk to has something to say about Martinaise, but if it were a fictional alpine village near a state capital, i doubt that would still be true.

like this is what would happen if it was set in the alps: the young witch finds her neighbour's lost cat within 20 minutes of gameplay after asking around and finding it on a farm not too far from her house. you learn nothing about the place, you feel nothing for the characters. you have gained nothing. you might as well have logged on to the latest mmo slop game and beaten a bunch of 12 year olds over the same amount of time.

so anyway i would love to have a game like stardew valley with its fun mechanics and easy gameplay... but it's about a young venture capitalist who moves to the peak district trying to get planning permission for an outdoor activity centre on some farmland. the locals use it as a route for dog walking and hikes and the farmer who owns it isn't fucking budging.

was talking to my girlfriend about this and i think it's the "in the alps" part that makes the tweet so vile. like it is such a lethal dose of ideology it's really the tipping point between an eyerolling but unremarkable tweet and something that expresses a repellent worldview

[olderthannetfic]

www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/771823370694213632

You need the say the bit about the way canon treats characters way louder because I really think that the way the character is... framed, I guess? accounts for huge chunks of it.

I remember when the Disk Horse was about Finn vs. Kylo Ren from the Star Wars sequel trilogy and I got called racist for trying to point out that Finn was always framed as the comic relief/unserious by the canon. He has a character arc in the first movie, but his emotions and his trauma and his personality are mostly played for laughs (ha! ha! Black janitor guy is scared because he's a coward! - and him being a janitor is a change that came pretty late, he was originally meant to be the top of his class). OTOH Kylo Ren has the camera linger on his anguished face while sad music plays and he monologues about the moral conflicts that he's facing.

The average viewer/reader - especially in the case of visual media - doesn't really stop watching to form non-prejudiced independent opinions on every character (and really shouldn't if your narrative is well-constructed!), that'd take up too much of their mental bandwidth! They let themselves be guided by how things and people are framed, so of course they'd see Ren as Serious and Tragic and Finn as the funny guy, which is inherently less sexy to most people!

Same thing with F/F: when canon treats its women with any degree of complexity and gives them the sort of character traits that are conductive to blorbofication people are all over it!

My dash's been drowning in Rhaenycent for a year now, and that's a show that arguably sorta botched its female characters in the attempt to make them complex! But it doesn't matter, because they set up all these juicy dynamics and the fans are all over it!

Fans LOVE Claudia from IWTV even though the tragedy of her canonical role is that the guys always sideline her for each other.

I went to the Anora tag after seeing the movie and saw a bunch of Anora x reader fic in between the gifs the same way I did for Feyd Rautha from Dune or any other feral unhinged character fans love imagining themselves having sex with (and then blocked it lol).

Like, my taste in women and men is exactly the same but the large majority of characters that fit it are men, because we just don't get a lot of women who are composed, charming rogues on the outside and crippled traumatized messes on the inside, with a narrative that gives this sufficient weight, and also lets them be feral and unhinged. And I actually prefer minority characters because where I'm from I'm from a minority group myself, but again, most of them don't fit the bill personality-wise or framing-wise.

Fandom's a hobby and it's meant to be fun - I'm not gonna be constantly swimming uphill from what the canon is trying to present to me just because a character shares a demographic category with me. I think this is the case for most people, really.

--

My read on a lot of this is that people are sad about the status quo (fair) and are lying to themselves that the culprits are nearby where they can reach them.

If we confront the fact that the real source is the director or the cinematographer or the studio head, it all feels so much more insurmountable.

Of course, one can opt for niche, indie media, but a lot of people don't want to do that, so they fall back on this shitty coping mechanism of pretending that they can yell at the people around them and effect meaningful change.

[asexualenjolras]

I have seen a lot of Enjolras and Grantaire pairings over the years, but none have ever seemed more like boyfriends than James D. Gish and Connor Jones on the Les Misérables Arena Spectacular tour, and I need to talk about it.

James' Enjolras is so confident and is so committed to the revolution, but he is also very human and very soft with Grantaire and Gavroche. Througout the show they are seen together like a little family unit, and you can see that Enjolras cares for them both. He's conflicted throughout the show, and is very protective over them both.

Connor's Grantaire (and I say this every time I see him) is another level - he is so brick accurate and he portrays Grantaire with so much care. He's the usual drunken R, but he is so gentle and he feels things so deeply. He's anxious, and emotive and cynical, but he wears a mask and pretends to be okay. He's so aware of everything going on and he cares about his friends. And he cares about Gavroche; he's like the little brother that he never had. And he is so enamoured with Enjolras - he doesn't take his eyes off him for more than 2 minutes the whole time they're on stage. Connor Jones Grantaire will always be my favourite.

During Look Down, James' Enjolras is so confident. You can see how much the cause matters to him, and you really believe in him. And he's so human in Red & Black - he's clearly a little bit nervous, but when he looks to Grantaire and sees that he is smiling at him, he gets a boost of confidence. It's really sweet, and I've never seen that before. When he sings "don't let the wine go to your brains", he's poking fun at Grantaire and offers him a cheeky smile, which makes Grantaire laugh too.

Connor's Grantaire holds his wine bottle up to the roof in reply, laughing, and is reprimanded by another student. He, playfully, stands to attention and listens to Enjolras again following that. He goes towards Enjolras once he finishes singing, but immediately stops when Marius walks in and takes to teasing him. Enjolras speaks to the other students and intervenes before they can tell Grantaire off and tells them he will sort it. But he can't help himself but laugh at him when he's teasing Marius. He pulls himself together and continues with the song, keeping his eyes on Grantaire to make sure he's listening and he looks so proud of himself when he realises he's getting through to him.

Until Grantaire and Marius start up again, and then he looks so defeated but, again, can't help but smile. He's rolling his eyes but he's laughing because he just can't help it when he's watching Grantaire. It was so sweet.

It really was as if he was torn between upsetting Grantaire, and upsetting the rest of the Amis. And it worked really well. He was so relieved at the end of the song when Grantaire stopped joking around. He verbally said "YES" when Grantaire said "give me brandy on my breath and I'll breathe them all to death".

THESE TWO. They are such boyfriends.

Grantaire looks so concerned when Gavroche tells the Amis that Lamarque has died, and he runs straight over to him to make sure he's safe as the students prepare. He takes such a big drink of his wine and forces a smile onto his face for Enjolras. Enjolras constantly looks at Grantaire during the song, and Grantaire is doing the same but with so much love and pride in his eyes. James' Enjolras is so confident in what he believes in, but he is so soft with Grantaire and I really love that choice. While Grantaire stands with Gavroche, Enjolras is constantly seen walking over to them both and they really do seem like a little family. 

As Grantaire sings "let's give them a screwing they'll never forget", Enjolras looked at him with so much pride and smiled so wide once the words processed in his mind. 

After Èponine died, Enjolras was looking behind himself like a lost puppy and Grantaire stumbled forward and offered him his hand with so much desperation to try and help the man he loves. But Enjolras pulled away from the hold when Valjean clambered onto the barricade, leaving Grantaire holding his arm out. Gavroche gave him a little nudge but R looked so broken and upset. He literally growled the "a volunteer like you" line through gritted teeth.

After Enjolras shoots down his "so the war is won" line, he shakes his head and rolls his eyes as he walks to the back of the stage. It's at this point that you can see that Grantaire is really understanding that they're all going to die. He drinks some more and sits with Gavroche as Valjean and Javert have their confrontation.

At the start of Drink With Me, Grantaire stumbles (again) to the front of the stage, looking around at his friends and taking in what they're saying. He holds his arms up and then a few of the Amis stand up and storm towards him as he sings his part (with such a broken voice). But before they can get to him, Enjolras pulls them back and pushes them away from Grantaire, and they both look at each other on the "will the world remember you when you fall?" line, with Enjolras placing a comforting hand on Grantaire's shoulder.

But Grantaire pushes him away in his hurt and frustration, and Enjolras looks so concerned and upset. He looks around at the other students to see whether they're all watching too before just staring at R with so much sadness. He tries again to comfort him, putting both of his hands on his shoulders and leading him away as Gavroche runs up to them and throws his arms around him.

AND THE LOOK ON ENJOLRAS' FACE. OH MY GOD. IT SAID SO MUCH.

He wanted so much to be the one to hug Grantaire, you could tell. He was trying so hard not to cry, and it was gut-wrenching. He looked so sad, and so broken, and let out such an exasperated breath (he looked like he was going to have a panic attack, I'm not exaggerating) before forcing a smile onto his face for the other students.

The death scene is staged a little differently in the Arena Spectacular, but Grantaire still holds Gavroche and he still looks around for Enjolras and Enjolras gives him a small nod before they're both killed (do you permit it? vibes).

During Empty Chairs at Empty Tables, Enjolras, Grantaire and Gavroche stand together at the top of the stage like the little family that they are, and are together at the end for the finale too.

In conclusion, I love them, your honour. James D. Gish and Connor Jones will go down in history for their ExR. I hope we get an official recording with this cast, or I hope they do a stint in London in the future.

They ARE Enjoltaire.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2024 Anime Overview: Acro Trip

Premise: Chizuko is a huge fan of her local  magical girl, Berry Blossom. The magical girl’s arch-nemesis is a villain named Chrome, but he’s…incredibly pathetic. He’s hardly a challenge for Berry Blossom, and Chizuko is disappointed because this means her hero doesn’t really get a chance to show her stuff. She has a lot of ideas on how Chrome could be a more effective villain, and he overhears her talking about some of them. Now he’s trying  to recruit her for his evil organization, saying that if she helps him, it will mean cooler fights for Berry Blossom that will make her rise in popularity. What’s a fangirl to do?

Acro Trip is a lot of fun, and I recommend it to any magical girl enjoyer. I also recommend it to anyone who loves pathetic failguys, because my man Chrome is the most hilariously pathetic of them all. You like bad boys? Well this man is literally bad at everything.

He’s incredibly endearing—his idea of  “evil” is flipping restaurant maps or littering, he trembles pitifully when a middle school girl hits him with an umbrella, he fucks up in every way possible. At the same time, he’s a sweetheart who clearly takes his responsibility to be a good “mentor” to Chizuko very seriously and cares about her a lot. The show loves him and so do I.

 But wait! Girl failures have their rep too!

Chizuko is incredibly relatable to all of us magical girl fangirls, and her matter-of-fact way of dealing with things bounces off Chrome's himbo antic well. She has her fair share of failgirl moments herself, usually caused by her…well, it definitely seems like it's her crush on Berry Blossom.

We’ve been there, girl. I do feel Chrome gets a little more of a spotlight than her, but we also get to see her actually develop, going from refusing to get involved with Chrome to embracing her power.

Meanwhile, one of my favorite running gags is Chizuko's sweet lil’ grandfather who just rolls with every weird thing that happens and is way too excited to engage in criminal activity.

Berry Blossom herself is actually almost as big a dummy as Chrome is, with her mascot being the one who has to keep her on task. The classic dynamic! I do wish there was more to her, but I’ll discuss that later.

I felt a little concerned when it was confirmed Berry Blossom was a teenager and that Chrome was…probably in his mid-to-late twenties, because in the first episode there was a part where Chizuko seemed to think he was in love with Berry Blossom, and he was also very clear he was a masochist who is, uh, blissful when he gets punched in the face by Berry. However, the show immediately drops this. The idea of Chrome being in love with Berry Blossom never comes up again, and in fact it’s made clear he isn’t, as he repeatedly is more focused on being a good surrogate big brother to his “apprentice” over her. The masochism is mostly dropped too. On the other hand, Berry Blossom does seem to be developing a crush on Chrome, which makes me wary, but thankfully it’s extremely one sided right now. He’s completely oblivious to this, clearly doesn’t think of her that way, and it’s built on her constantly misunderstanding him requesting gifts to cheer up Chizuko (like her autograph).

It's not exactly a perfect show though,. As fun as it is, not all the gags hit, some side characters kind of dull, and my enthusiasm waned a bit as the series went on. The animation is…pretty rough. This anime clearly did not have a lot of resources allocated to it.

There’s also a bit of missed potential. It takes Chizuko way too long to get in the action, Chrome’s backstory would probably be more effective if his “rival” was a little more complex and sympathetic, there’s an interesting part in the finale where Berry Blossom mentions she doesn’t really have interests or hobbies and her mascot gave her purpose and then that’s just…brushed aside. Like how is it she doesn’t have any interests? She lives alone too, is she like, depressed? It feels like a major thing for her to say, and something Chrome should acknowledge but it’s like. "Well fight for your fans! They love you”. Perhaps it gets addressed in the manga or an (unlikely) season 2, but it sort of felt like the show wasn’t putting any thought into this heavy, kind of sad character detail they introduced. Whenever the show attempts to give its characters some depth and pathos it always seems a little half hearted.

The finale also set up a really dramatic conflict where various truths come out, and then just. Undid it all immediately. One of my least favorite tropes. There was obviously more manga left, but it really felt like the season just came to a stop rather than ended in a satisfying way.

However, the show succeeds at it’s main purpose- it’s a cozy good time for those who enjoy goofy, incompetent villains and goofy, incompetent magical girls. It’s a very sweet, silly, and occasionally funny show. Don’t go into expecting anything deep, but you can certainly have fun with it.

I implore you to give it a shot, because it’s fantastic that the lazy dark and edgy Madoka ripoffs are finally dying off, and we’re getting more variety again. We’re finally getting magical girl shows with fun premises, ones that aren’t reboots or Precure! So if you care about the genre at all, it’s so important to support them!

[vonbabbitt]

Hi Von! Dropping in to say that you are absolutely incredible.

I could never imagine how hard it is to do a project of this scale basically completely yourself, save for the voice actors and people who help with editing. It takes a level of dedication, responsibility, and patience that many people do not have. Whenever I mention Tetro to my friends (which happens quite a lot), the moment I mention you and go on a spiel of everything you do, they're all stunned.

What I'm getting at is that you're so talented, strong, and just an all-around powerhouse. Tetro is such an amazing and interesting series, and I commend you for being able to finish it and start a second season. Not only me, but the entire community. The fact that you and your staff get treated with disrespect is so shocking to me. It has not only some of the best voice acting I've seen in a while, but also some of the best writing and representation of disabilities I've seen. You and your staff deserve as much love and appreciation as physically possible from the community that follows you. I do hope that the good outweighs the bad, because you already work so hard that the added stress of fans who harass you is something I don't even want to imagine. You also deserve as much rest as possible.

You don't have to answer this ask. Ever. But please let this serve as a reminder that the community appreciates everything you do for them. It's okay to take as many breaks as you need. You're an incredible writer, artist, voice actor, director and creator.

I wish you the absolute best going forward, and I hope you have a good rest of your day.

thank you very very much anon its really reassuring to hear

the positive response to tetro definitely outweighs the negative, which is something im definitely trying to get better with accepting instead of focusing way too hard on one or two people who arent enjoying it. im also learning to accept that just because someone doesnt like something doesnt mean that something is BAD, regardless of whether or not they say it is. just because people dont like my writing doesnt mean my writing is bad (not that it would matter if it was bad either way, as im only doing this for fun!)

im really really grateful for the level of support people have shown me and going forward into the new year im going to try and be better with letting criticism roll off my back - this is my passion project and at the end of the day, my opinion on it is the only one that matters. im the only person who knows my intentions in every line, im the only person who poured myself into writing it, im the only person who has any sort of obligation to tetro. if others like it, im glad! but its not the end of the world if they dont

thank you for the kind ask anon!

[itz-pammy-1996]

My ailen-ized Jonny design is finally here!

Thank you @gizm0-gadgetz for the ring hc! As I said, the stories/descriptions for each ring will be added below! I know this probably isn't the best design I could've made, but I still had a lot of fun making it so in the end that doesn't really matter:3

TS's ring

The ring TS made for Jonny is a beautiful handcrafted ring made of dark carefully polished wood, thin steel wire, and small rubies edged into the cracks to bring it all together. Nobody knows where it gat the tools to make it, and when later asked how it had made the ring is showed no interest or skillset in the art of jewelry making.

Ashes' ring

The ring Ashes commissioned for Jonny is made entirely from the most precious metal of a planet they had long since burned down together. It's plain from the outside, but the inside depicts carved images of playing cards, alcohol, and shot glasses.

Tim's ring

The "ring" that Tim had given Jonny shortly after becoming immortal is actually just barbed wire wrapped onto itself and bound together to make a ring like shape. Jonny shot him for it, but he still wore it. Besides, Tim made it too loose, so it's not like it it hurt too much. Tim has since given him an actual ring (a thin gold clamp bracelet, simple in design and not particularly expensive, still pretty though), though Jonny still keeps the old one in his room

:readmore:

Raph's ring

Was originally an experiment to see what Jonny would do with a more delicate piece of jewelry. It was a nice bead necklace, pinkish white with a ruby centerpiece.

She expected him to give it back saying it'll just break, to destroy it immediately, or to hide it somewhere in his room never to be seen again- what she did not expect, was for him to wear it along with the others, protect it from damage in battle, and to dispare when it finally started losing beads.

Brian's ring

Brian didn't have much materials going in, only the ones he uses for his own repairs. His ring is made out of fine wire and a scrap of metal positioned to hold it all together. He's still kinda disappointed with it, but it's hard to work with daunty big metal hands.

Marius's ring

Marius had absolutely no idea what to get Jonny, but he still wanted to partake in "decorating the cat" (in his own words) so he just tried his best to find something expensive and shiny! He ended up with a chunky silver bracelet that depicts inky black tentacles holding up the emeralds imbedded into it.

Nastya's ring

Was once the cuff of an old jacket she had, when the jacket itself fell apart, the took the cuffs and fashioned them into matching bracelets for her and Jonny. It's millions of years old now, tattered and moreso the strings holding it together than the bracelet itself, but he still wears it on top of all the others.

Ivy's ring

Once when they were planetside, she went into a ruined jewelry shop and calculated which one Jonny would like the most. She ended up with a simple gold chain bracelet with a smaller offshoot chain to attach charms on. She picked out a tiny book charm to represent herself, and a feather pen to represent his overdramatic monologues that he enjoys writing so much.

[nameuserlee]

Sylus — Night of Secrecy 💋❤️

❤️- Screenshots -❤️

❤️ - Kindled scene below the cut + my thoughts/rambling -❤️

.

.

.

Uhm. Wow. Just, wow. My sincere congratulations to Sylus and MC, the kiss card finally came and so did they, hallelujah.

I still can't believe this card is real, though. I'm genuinely dizzy, and I mean that in the best possible way. Because it’s sooo perfect. 10/10. No notes. Would swipe for again in a heartbeat.

I didn’t really know what I wanted their first kiss to look like. But I know that whatever I could’ve imagined wouldn’t have been nearly as good as this was. Now let me yap about this!

MC finally gets to bring Onychinus' leader to her place! After learning he needs a place to crash for 3 days before leaving for “business”, MC very generously offers her apartment as a safe house, both to keep him close and to figure out where he’ll be going since he won’t tell her (for her safety, of course).

And my god, these 3 days of them living together are the cutest, most domestic thing I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.

Shopping for groceries together, getting him his own pair of house slippers, him using (all of) her body wash. Sylus being in her space feels right, despite the smaller doorframes and treacherous bathroom cabinets.

(Grown ass man needs us to blow on his boo-boo. ADORABLE.)

But nevermind how cute this is, the situation is still unusual. Sylus and MC’s worlds kinda clash, despite how well they now get along and how much they care for each other. They are both aware of this, and no matter how fun this little play-pretend is, it’s going to have to end soon.

On their drive to the supermarket, Sylus prompts MC with a question: “When you’re in danger during a mission, do you think of anyone?” And the exchange that follows means a lot to me.

“But after my dirty work is done, I’ll wash my hands before going home.” I need this line tattooed across my forehead.

Sylus can’t leave his life back in the N109 zone, but he also doesn’t want to give up MC. And above all else, he wants to keep her safe. He tries to keep her away from his actual “business” as much as he can (which explains why he refuses to tell her where he’s going after their 3 days together).

If it weren’t for the N109 zone being risky for him to stay in right now and MC very conveniently proposing her place, he definitely would’ve found somewhere else to crash.

And so his best way to protect her while indulging their desire to see each other is to promise to “wash his hands before going home.” Whenever he gets to come back to her, he is not bringing his work to her. He will not allow himself to carelessly “taint” her life with his lifestyle. Very sweet, very thoughtful, very mindful (are we still saying mindful in 2025?) .

I’m gonna fast forward to their last night together/the kindled scene because I fear I could talk about every single line in this card.

Where to even begin.

BEST PROMPT IVE EVER SEEN ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

MC initating the kiss means everything to me. Thinking back to their first meeting, it’s him forcing her to resonate with her. Now, she’s pretty much the one who sets the pace in their relationship, which leads to this beautiful first kiss. It’s just too good.

“You really don’t want me to leave?” NO SIR SHE WANTS TO CLIMB YOU LIKE A TREE SHE WANTS YOU BAD and there’s no more denying it. She’s been worried sick throughout the whole card about him, trying to make the most out of their time together, and now that it’s down to the last hours, she wants it all.

And when things start to get heated, our consent king doesn’t only ask her once, but TWICE if she wants to do it.

And it’s soooo HOT!

In the kindled, he hopes MC hasn’t changed her mind, since she kinda nudges him away right after saying yes. He wants this to happen just as badly, but no matter what he’s always, always going to put her first, and so he checks in again with her.

Is this the bare minimum? Well yes! But I still think it’s worth noting. Especially if, again, we compare to how cold he was with her at the beginning of the relationship and how he was forcing her to go along with what he wanted.

Consent is sexy, asking for confirmation is hot as hell. 12/10 would smash again.

[plethomacademia]

I spent most of yesterday logged off and that took a lot of the energy out of my veilguard critical sails. It's fine. You can see all the places where they had to cut content. There are lots of ideas with little cohesion.

It reminds me of da2 in that way a lot, but I didn't care about it with that game. Sure people just appear out of crates to hit you and there's exactly one cave. There's something to be said for smaller scopes. I loved Kirkwall and I loved the people I got to know over years there.

Sure, this game cannot be a single city and the stakes are too high to take years, you're fighting at least one god no matter what due to the set up in inquisition. (Which ugh don't get me started on that after credits stinger and how they might have set themselves up for failure again.) But did we need six factions, especially when three of them feel half finished at best? Did there need to be a version of galactic readiness which forces you to engage with each faction to the point that you can see the gaps? Did there need to be so many boss fights that they didn't have time to design so they just threw in another dragon?

I like the characters but I feel the gaps there too. There's enough here for me to play with, but this need for everyone to be nice ... Ugh I really hope this isn't the future of this company. Remember when characters could disagree? Remember when you could literally hate fuck? Remember when Ashley shot Wrex in the head?

I guess since this is a whole thing, I'll get out the last part: the romances are really disappointing. I don't mean this in a where are the boobies way, who truly cares. Bioware was really onto something with their last two games and romances. Veilguard suffers from everyone having basically the same progression: empty flirts that feel weird -> a lock in that feels very late and gets you a kiss -> good job gamer here's the sex. This is the me1 and me2 model!

Their last two games had really started to play with allowing different characters to have different ways to engage in a relationship. Some people will never consummate, some want to fuck on the first date. The thing I remember the most from Andromeda is that it let me play my Ryder like the absolute messy nepo baby that I wanted, which included fucking her friend on the couch after playing scifi FIFA and then calling it what it was: blowing off steam, having fun. After that, she was able to have a long, slow build up romance with a pink alien who helped her stop and think for three seconds and become a better person.

This is good! To use phrases that I think Bioware might care about, this is representation! I have always been a fuck on the first date, catch feelings later person, so the whole building to sex always felt off to me. Let some people lead with their bodies. Let some people lead with the feelings. Let people be people! If nothing, it felt even more video gamey and empty changing it back to this and I have a feeling this is once again a victim of cuts in development.

Apparently my sails were still full. I do plan to play this game again, but with the difficulty turned down, enemy hp set to lowest, and free rein to skip cutscenes that made me roll my eyes the first time. I really hope this did well enough that they get to have another shot at mass effect, but I am also worried that this is their new standard and I am going to have found family everyone is nice in space whether I want it or not.

[aestariiwilderness]

Fun note: Christian husbands are not supposed to "just" die for their wives! Christian husbands have some serious standards they're held up to -- I'll go into this below -- and some even more serious weight of responsibility. Christian wives? All they're really asked to do is respect their husbands (something men tend to regard as a kind of "love" language in itself and women tend to neglect in favor of affection and "mushier" feelings) and *willingly* submit to ONLY their husbands (not any man). Even better; the English word "submit" with its own language's ugly connotations so famously used here is, I believe, better translated in the original language as something different -- as something specifically and ONLY an action and attitude that is given voluntarily. If it's forced in any way, it's not that word anymore. Like you can't force respect, you can't force this kind of trust, or it becomes something else entirely. With that in mind, Christian husbands are: 1. Supposed to be willing to die in excruciating fashion (the word itself literally derived from the famous torture and execution of Roman crucifixion) and/or live for them, which takes a lot longer (and may be only slightly less painful!).

2. Supposed to love their wives as they love their own selves -- unthinkingly, instinctively, unhesitatingly, unconditionally, no matter what. 3. Supposed to be responsible for their family and all the things that happen in it and to it. They are meant to provide for their household in all ways (Proverbs 31 shows a wonderful wife being a partner and the commander of all things domestic, economic and otherwise, with her husband in this regard -- so before anyone opens their mouth too fast here to cry sexism, the Bible's vision of marriage is so far from confining a woman to the kitchen or whatever that I have to laugh). Ultimately, all blame and accountability is at the husband's feet. And if they fail in this in any respect -- if they neglect their families, betray their promises, abuse their wives, abandon their responsibilities and their vows -- if they don't turn around and repent, they are considered worse than an unbeliever. The promises have failed, then; the vow is broken, the trust is gone, and the husband is not walking with Christ. It's no longer a Christian marriage. And I don't see any other conclusion to draw from that and other verses (1 Corinthians 7:14-16, for example) but that abuse of any kind -- abuse of that trust and respect and voluntary submission that the Christian wife freely gives her husband -- renders that marriage null and void, where the wife has no obligation or duty to stay. (So far from encouraging abuse or coercing women to stay in abusive situations, the Christian marriage protects women more than any other relationship out there. In what other prescription of marriage or religious view is the husband commanded to do this for his wife? To sacrifice himself daily, to die for her in excruciating pain, to love her in such a way, as he loves his very own self, that it precludes all possible willing harm? I can't think of any.) This is what marriage is supposed to look like. Mutual devotion, consent, trust, respect, obedience freely given, unconditional love and self-sacrifice and consideration; understanding the other spouse is a sinner just like you and will fail but that God, who is neither a sinner nor fails, is here in this marriage with you, if you invite Him, and if you trust and obey Him, He will work it out for the best.

Ephesians 5; 1 Timothy 5:8

People talk about how they want a wife like Ruth, yet they aren’t willing to be a husband like Boaz….

[bixels]

Be honest, what are your thoughts on appledash? Do you hate it or its more of not a big deal

Not a big deal to me. I like it, I see all the appeals, I just personally like Rarijack more.

[sieglinde-freud]

let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!

[puppppppppy]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[danielnelsen]

well that's just a lie