#and having 0 regrets about that fact

[spacedace]

Me: huh I've really been putting everyone in Business of Family through it, especially Jazz

Me: I should give her a break. Actually this is a great time to have her meet Dick so they can start becoming BFFs!

Me: *Gives Jazz a small mental break down and has Dick almost run her over with his car*

Me: hmm that's not quite right

Me: *covers Jazz in blood*

Me: Ah, there we go. Much better! 😃

[javierduffy]

drabble about chapter 3 javieran late night discord (campfire) conversations because i love writing the turning point where javier finally lets himself start making moves 💔☹️

“so,” javier gestures with his bottle, the last quarter of it sloshing to get his conversation partner’s attention, “tell me about yourself.”

“oh, i’m…” kieran fiddles with his hands, pries his eyes away from javier’s bottle as the other man takes a swig of it. if he let himself look any longer, they’d end up on his lips. “i’m just me, sir. just kieran duffy. ain’t got much to tell.”

“mh.” javier grunts a reply, and kieran would think that’d be the end of it, if not for the bottle thrust at him to punctuate the response. he thinks javier is just tipsy enough not to be offering essentially backwash on purpose. he hopes it is a kind gesture. he takes it and a swig to boot. rather not be drinking with a man so pretty, but he’d rather not be one to resist one, neither.

“”just” you say. what makes you so little?” javier’s beginning to pop another beer open on his seat. without the light of the moon, the scout campfire now feels like a long, long way from the clemen’s point camp, and he now feels like no one in the world could hear his curiosity. like not a soul in this world around could accuse him of gentility.

kieran, taking the new bottle as an offer to keep the old one, finishes off his drink. shakes his head like it’s bitter. like he isn’t trying to pick apart which taste is the beer and which is javier. “i ‘unno. suppose- no one’s cared so much before. i feel so little, i can’t say i feel right justified in going around and advertising myself. plenty of interesting folk around, and they sure don’t look like me.” javier cocks an eyebrow.

for once since months ago in colter, dark brown eyes meet green, and they stay there. grass plants it’s roots in rich soil, and it feels like home. kieran can see javier’s eyes flicker to his lips, and he convinces himself it meant nothing. uproots himself and looks back at the fire.

javier lets his eyes roam kieran’s profile a bit- his long lashes, his hooked nose, his sunspots- and suddenly he really, really needs another drink. he’s parched. he mirrors the other man’s fixation on the fire with another swig. “can’t say any of us nowadays look too alike. not unless you get the privilege of being born in the city, with money. every man has his story. if you think it is a competition, maybe you should consider yourself lucky that you haven’t lived enough chaos to be “interesting”.”

kieran snorts, “you don’t know the half of it… sir.” he tacks the term messily onto the sentence, hoping it’ll be enough to keep javier from strangling him to death for his tone. instead, he turns to see javier with a wide smile, drooping eyes creasing like a canine with it’s fangs bared. it makes kieran feel cold- like prey who yearns for the warm embrace of his predator’s breath on his neck.

“tell me then. what makes you so interesting and me so ignorant?”

[hazelnutsummer]

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AERRGRGGG

Madoka Magika AU Desert Duo. At first this is simply a gag to draw Scar in Madoka’s dress but the more I think about it the worse it gets.

Warning for Puella Magi Madoka Magika spoilers:

Martyn once mentioned a theory that Watchers feed off human emotions, and you know who also feeds off energy generated by humans?? KYUBEY FROM MADOKA!!!

Allow me to reiterate. Kyubeys are produced without emotions as a high functioning high intelligence species, but Grian is produced as a flawed piece, one with human emotions. He hides it well enough for years, before one of his mission like many others is to make magical girls/mages.

It all goes south when the girl he tries to make the deal with (supposed to be on the brink of death) was actually rescued by Scar, who is a very strong and passionate passerby that literally lifted up the rubble long enough to keep her alive.

Situation goes terribly wrong. Essentially, some accidents happen, and Grian who was supposed to make a contract with a teenage girl made a contract with SCAR, HUMAN ADULT GUY!!!!

And Grian is stuck in this contract because Scar jokingly made his wish for Grian to become a human, and Grian is stuck as a kyubey (watcher in this case) turned human. He still have majority of his watcher powers, but is now painfully mortal.

Grian leaves Scar instantly, without telling him what being a magical girl entails, absolutely furious that he has been doomed to this fate. Despite now knowing the fact that Watchers are evil, he cannot help but feel guilty for permanently turning Grian human, and is unfortunately Down Bad the moment he sees Grian’s human form..

Scar, being left with 0 instructions, began doing superhero work around the community, fighting crimes and helping old ladies cross the road.

They meet again when Scar wanders into his first witches’ labyrinth, where Grian saw him and followed him in, with the intention to get Scar killed in there! Surely if he kills Scar, this might be reversed!!

Scar, however, exceeds expectations, slaying the witch and expelling the labyrinth. After exiting, Scar instead of trying to harm Grian, his guilty ass decided to invite Grian to live with him.

Grian and Scar begin living together. They meet different magical girls, work together and discover more about the world. And eventually Grian learns how to be a mortal and has plans on severing his connections to kyubei.

But you know how madoka goes…

Walpurgis occurs, and Grian watches in powerless horror as Scar dies before his eyes. In his last moments, Scar tells Grian he doesn’t regret what he’s done, but he does wish that he could go back in time so as to save everyone and not end in tragedy. Grian clutches Scar’s hand, holding it close to his sobbing mess of a face and in his mind, a genius idea comes to him:

If he is human now, does that mean he can abuse this system and become a magical girl/mage himself?

And Homura Grian & Madoka Scar occurs.

Grian goes back in time to prevent Scar’s death. Scar still becomes a magical girl, but somehow history changes and he is in contract with another kyubey/watcher (evil jellie) and Grian utilises his very limited amount of human behaviour knowledge and tries to become friends with him again, this time being a human from the start. They go to the same uni now, and Scar does see G’s weird habits but decided that’s just how British people behave.

Doomed yaoi.

In lieu of the affected timelines, even though magical girl Scar is supposed to look like the watcher he makes the deal with, he doesn’t look like Evil Jellie, and instead retains his avian aesthetic from before Grian rewound time.

Ps: check out the new au master post!!

[takes1]

final part. one night stand aftermath with needy!tsukishima

sorry for the wait :0 this is a looong one. last installment! thanks for supporting ya'll. if you want more tsukki, just let me know

warnings. nsfw. minors DNI

details. fem!reader / rough sex / counter sex / porn with plot / flirting / one night stand aftermath / trust issues!reader / needy!tsukki / timeskip!tsukki / apartment setting / communication / a deal being made / 3.1k words

links. my masterlist. [part one, part two.] more haikyuu. my ao3. requests OPEN.

Your breath grew shallow under the weight of his hand on your upper thigh.

It was funny, your confident, split-second choice not to wear anything under your skirt this evening suddenly all you could think about.

Tiny glances. To and from the glint of his glasses in the sunset, the dashes on the road zipping by as he took you back to his place, the tendons working on the top of his hand as he squeezed your supple flesh, hungry- though his eyes gave no indication.

His car was not impressive, but it was exceptionally clean and maintained well. It helped more than anything else, more than any of his mannerisms in particular, to put you at ease.

The first and last words you had exchanged was about the music about six minutes ago. It was kept at a low enough volume to talk over, but no such conversation got off the ground. So, it was quiet and you sat alert, tummy in knots (some good, some bad) with clammy palms and a racing heart.

This state of uncertainty didn't get much better as you made your way upstairs into his apartment.

Where was the kind-of-sweet guy working part-time at the museum? Every time you met him again, it was like his personality had done a complete 180 and you needed to relearn how to talk to him.

You both stood a moment in the doorway, slipping off your shoes. He grew about four inches taller and immeasurably more imposing. You caught a tiny smirk on his jaw.

"Why wear heels?" He asked, toneless.

You squinted across the entryway, careful to not be accusatory nor provide any reference of height to boost his ego, "Because they're cute."

When you decided he was attractive that Friday night, his height was secondary.

Tsukishima lingered for a moment, a faint smile on his mouth, all wrapped up in something you said or how you said it. He shook his head and walked towards the kitchen without inviting you.

Yeah, his height was trivial compared to the complexity behind his eyes.

Again, you were left wondering what to do- you followed, of course. But it was out of hesitant assumption and not because he made it easy.

His head turned away when you entered.

You didn't have time to guess if he was waiting or not before he asked, "Would you like anything?"

It was vague, but since this was the kitchen, you settled on water.

The way he sank and slid, slow and tedious from his spot to grab you a glass made you hold yourself in doubt. But, he was smiling.

"What's so funny?" You had to ask.

Worry was apparent on your brow. He couldn't see it turned around.

"You still don't trust me, do you?"

You couldn't clean up the shock on your face before he saw it. It was exactly what he was looking for, apparently. He still thought that was funny.

You struggled to craft a response that was both articulate and true, "I guess I don't. I don't know you."

It lingered in the air for a few seconds. In fact, those seconds felt so long that you began to question your choice to come here. You thought to exactly where you put your shoes.

He looked contemplative. He crossed his arms, but not to close himself off. "But we still fucked."

You laughed at him, at the absurdity.

"I know."

You repeated, shaking your head, "I- I know. What, are you trying to guilt trip me over leaving? I know I hurt your feelings, but I don't owe you anything."

The island separating you felt bigger.

He blew a breath, brow raised. You regretted saying it that way. He just made you nervous.

But he laughed again, "Jesus, uh..." He picked up your glass and closed the distance, arm up as a little surrender to your words, "I guess you're not wrong."

He settled next to you, side flush against you when he handed you the glass.

You stared at it, tapping, and considered your options. You opened your mouth and took a breath to apologize.

"Don't say sorry," He stated. He met your eyes for a moment, then shook his head with a little smile, "I like that."

Heat crawled up your neck and inspired you to down all the water in your hands. You set the empty glass aside and wiped your mouth with your forearm. He thought it was cute, but kept it to himself.

The facts were as out there as they were going to get for you; he didn't do one night stands, he was convinced he had met a 'nice girl' and took you home, got his feelings hurt when you left, he probably thought it was fate that you met at the museum, but... now, what did he want?

"I don't trust you either," He admitted, moving slow to pin you between his arms, against the counter.

His eyes gave you no indication of what he meant by that. He looked mean. Like he could really hurt you, or your feelings at a minimum.

A flash of apprehension spread across your face. You looked to the left and right, then back at him, who found your little panic charming.

His indescribable intensity was why, when he closed the distance to kiss you, you paused.

He sighed against you for a second, then slowly straightened out. It took you a second because you were dumbfounded by how out of place his sudden affection felt, but thought it preferable to his ominous and vague nature.

At least when he was kissing you, you didn't have to guess.

Before he could take your hesitation to heart, you stretched up, hands clasped on his shoulders, in his hair, to return it tenfold.

His tongue was familiar and his lips were comforting. He leaned into you, trapping you against the counter, but it steadied you both.

God, why didn't he start out with this?

A soft moan shared between your lips sent him spiralling- his hand clutched your waist, under your flimsy little shirt, and his thumb rubbed against your tummy, rendering you a little weak in the knees.

His body felt perfect against yours. No room for second guessing.

He parted for a moment, and you caught the strangest look in his eyes. An intensity that making out shouldn't have warranted- a pain that was beyond an overdue erection.

"I...ah, I can't-," You gasped between his extra kisses, "Figure you out-!" Your hand flew to support yourself when he lifted you off of your feet from your hips.

You locked your legs around his waist, and nearly missed when you grabbed for his shoulders. It didn't matter much, but it startled you. In your panicked searching, you couldn't even find the brown in his eyes.

He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth at the feeling of you through his pants. That little no-underwear detail didn't go ignored earlier.

"Mmnyou don't have to," He muttered dismissively.

There was no chance to question further before he took your lips hostage once more, his hand firm against the back of your head.

Though logically, his evasiveness was concerning, it did nothing short of send an addictive current straight down your spine. Thinking grew tough, quickly.

His tongue was easier to deal with than your doubts. After all, you were always just a hook-up, anyway.

A squeak caught in your throat at the way he pushed you into the cold counter, the way he loomed over and blocked out the overhead light except for the tips of his golden hair, the way he made sure you didn't bump your head on the way down.

It was difficult returning his rough kisses. For the most part, you focused on just taking them instead, but that became nearly impossible when he started to roll his hips into yours.

Perfect, warm waves crashed over you and kept your legs heavy and weak. It was all you could do to keep up with him.

"F-uck," A choked sigh against the shell of your ear made you twitch, "I'm not gonna last for shit."

You giggled at his soft, disappointed admission. He put his face in the curve of your neck and wrapped his other arm around you. It was tight. Secure, as you rolled your hips over the outline of his cock.

"We'll go a few rounds tonight, yeah?" Your voice was weaker than you wanted it to sound.

A long inhale, taken from in your hair you couldn't help but notice, and he gave an approving hum against your neck in a long, tingly kiss.

He freed an arm to hold your wrists above your head, the other tracing up your shirt to tease your chest.

That little pout you gave him earned you a quick, rough kiss into more possessive ones all along the side of your neck- it paired well with the cruel pinching under your shirt and his heavy burden between your legs.

Soon, you were panting, dizzy and sweaty with just one thought in your head.

"You're-- ah-h, optimistic," He was just short of asking.

His little moan made your hips automatically buck- you couldn't wait around to take him again. His grip, once you expressed the desire to free yourself, was laughably light.

The metallic sounds of his belt coming undone and his zipper lowering percussed your sultry, sarcastic tone well, "Stop trying to figure me out."

Shuddery breath caught in his throat as you pulled him out. It hadn't been too long since the last time, objectively speaking, but the feeling of his warm cock in your hands was one you desperately missed.

It slowly started to feel more right after that.

You didn't have a grasp on who he was, what he wanted, what he was thinking- but when he pulls back to at least press a slow, longing kiss to your soaked pussy under your skirt, it feels right.

It feels simple. Something you were more comfortable with, more used to. Certainly an easier feeling to navigate than this serpentine man, holding you with devoted fingers, but staring you down like you had wronged him.

He got carried away, mouth sticky and hot around your aching clit, big hands shoved up your shirt to scour every inch of you he hadn't remembered well enough the first time. Now he'd never forget it.

"Mm-! Ok-ay, okay, please--," Your whine, your squirming, was tended to immediately.

His hand slid and covered so much of your neck, jaw- the whole side of your face, in fact, that you felt your skin burning underneath it. He smothered you in a wet, sloppy kiss.

When he pushed into you, you couldn't help but think of the first time.

"Oh-h," You seethed at his size, only finding that it made him grip you harder, like he was holding you together, scared you might break apart.

Your squeak at the sensation was higher, your eyes wider, as you found his gaze low and almost plaintive.

It was different from that night. You were both a little drunk, but still. He was excited, confident, more twitchy. Faster, in a lot of ways. It came across as rushed to you and it helped justify leaving when you did. It wasn't that you didn't enjoy the passion, or the absurdness of being carried up the stairs like that, but you figured he was a one-trick pony. Like most guys.

Now you felt like you were the one rushing things. He held you still by the fat of your hips when you tried to get some friction.

His kisses were softer. Deliberate and savored. Your heart was beating out of your chest.

He was perfect, beating slow and smooth between your thighs, your bodies intertwined like you wanted, but it left something to be desired. You wanted his expression to be that of lust, not whatever this was.

"What's- ah-h--, what's'wrong?" You whispered against his lips.

He pulled away to look at you, glancing around your features with that same pitiful look. Where was the passion? His charming, kinda mean, -but impressive, nonetheless- one liners?

"Do you want me?" Was a whisper right back, the mix of warmth and minty coolness in his breath a tingly shock across your face.

He didn't look in your eyes for very long once he realized the answer was not quite ready for him.

Scanning your body instead, he found many worthy things to distract himself with. Chief among them was in the form of making you take even longer to give him a response.

A gentle, slippery prodding around your clit made you gasp.

"Mm-! God," You whined, eyes rolled back as you fought to understand what he meant by that, "I want- ah-!..."

He was biting the inside of his lip with a quiet chuckle, memorizing your pretty frame twisting, writhing underneath him as you struggled to take him and get played with at the same time. Like a tired old art critic, waiting to understand the meaning of a masterpiece.

"I want you-," You sighed, luring his attention to your face again, "I- I want you to- tell me-,"

He finally laid off for a second, his hands instead grabbing at your hips to bring you further down on his cock. Your neck looked a little too plain, now that he was thinking about it. If you left, he wanted you to leave with something of his. He started working deep marks on your throat.

Your low, approving moan encouraged him.

You sighed, honest and plain, letting your nails scratch through his fluffy hair, "Tell me- you won't hurt me."

"I couldn't hurt'you," He quickly muttered against your bruising skin.

You were almost, not quite but almost, as fast. "Make me a deal, then."

He liked the sound of that. It was more practical than a promise. More real, something you could both risk for a perceived reward each. You didn't know it yet, but you really knew how to appeal to him.

His long fingers stretched over your thighs, lifting them to tease you a little from a different angle. Part of him wished he had waited to take you upstairs. You couldn't do much on the counter.

"I- ah, won't leave," You seethed as he stretched you out like that, brow furrowed at the addictive intensity, "As long as you don't hurt me."

The way he held your words in his head before he responded was unexpectedly attractive. Contemplative, he traded one of your thighs for your needy clit again and grinned at how you tightened around him.

"Deal," He leaned up to kiss you, like a handshake, of sorts.

If he kept this up, you wouldn't be able to last very long. You loved how he took care of you himself, and didn't leave you to figure out your own pleasure.

He clearly wanted to tick every box, make sure you noticed it, too, so that you could be grateful to him.

You were both smiling more after your little agreement.

Before you could get too lost in it, there was some low thudding just above you.

Everything stopped for a scary moment.

You instantly looked at him when you didn't understand the sound right away, for some sort of reassurance it was just the apartment settling, or a cat upstairs. His brow was still furrowed, concerned as he looked up, his eyes tracking the sound in the ceiling.

"What the hell is that?" You whispered, a little harsh, but justified.

His face fell seconds after your question was left hanging, unanswered. He looked defeated.

"My-," He sighed, grimacing as you adjusted under him, "My roommate, I... forgot he was here."

It seemed so stupid for a guy you pegged as so intelligent. The raw reaction in his eyes made it clear that fucking you right here wasn't deliberate.

Your body relaxed again. You were wholeheartedly glad it wasn't a criminal or a ghost. It made way for confusion as he started to explain that his roommate doesn't usually come out of his room at this time, but that you should both probably head upstairs anyway.

Though it pissed you off on the surface, it doubled down and validated the realization that he didn't have everything so figured out. Taking you on the counter wasn't something he sketched out and made a reality- he just wanted you that badly.

He tried to pull out, but you locked your legs around him so he couldn't move. His jaw worked, his eyes searching yours, his brows upturned. God, he looked like he'd fall apart like that.

Your chest tightened with shock and the raw, tingly pride that came with feeling special.

Your fingers laced around his neck; he didn't offer up any resistance as you pulled him in close.

Warm breath spilled across the side of his face. He couldn't help but lean into it.

"Well, don'tstop now," Egged him on; echoed in smaller, more desperate pleas the closer he fucked you to completion. When he was just beginning to think he could get any more obsessed with you.

His lids lowered at your words, his eyes rolling back in the sockets as he put the weight of his head in the nook of your collarbone.

Though he seemed to soften in the face, his thrusts got stronger. It felt like he was filling you up more and more, leaving you gasping and clawing at his wide shoulders.

"Mm-n-Ah! Fuck-!" You whined, with no regard for his roommate, while he shoved you off the edge.

Your orgasm was well-deserved- the delay, the conversation, made it that much more intense. You felt like you could actually start to trust this guy, so you let him have the best of you.

When he came, warm and sticky all over your tummy, you didn't even think about how your shirt and skirt were still half-on, meaning he had effectively ruined all the clothes you brought with you. Normally you'd be pissed off.

But you just wanted to watch him cum, too.

His little whiny noises he thought he had covered up were loud, his gasps and little curses flattering, leaving your head buzzing.

His body became heavier for a minute, now that he was tired, before he stood back up and pulled you with him.

Everything was quiet again, as you both looked to the ceiling, then at each other, and waited. No sound.

"Sorry," He mumbled, clumsy, reaching for his glasses so he could see how bad he ruined your outfit.

Now you took the time to notice the difference in how his glasses made him look; a little nerdier, a little cuter.

You pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and put your forehead to his chin.

"I'll just steal some of your clothes, if that's okay with you."

♕VIP♕

@integers @yuchacco

series taglist!

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my masterlist.

request more nsfw or sfw haikyuu or mha here: request box

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Of all the theories as to how Carmilla and her daughters found eachother in Hell (adoption, reuniting after they died, one or all three being Hellborn, ect;), I think my personal favorite is the one where Carmilla was either pregnant when she died or later gave birth to a child she miscarried when she was alive.

But whether or not that’s true, one of my favorite crack theories/headcanons about Carmilla being pregnant in Hell is how absolutely weird the other Overlords would be about it- because let’s be real, they would absolutely be weird about it. Maybe supportive and weird, but weird.

Zestial, nervously following Carmilla around: My darling. My own heart. I beg of thou, please, for just a moment.

Carmilla, still stubbornly walking around in her ridiculously sharp shoes: I’M FINE.

Zestial, who’s been trying to get her to sit down or at least change her shoes for over an hour: 0,_0

Rosie, crouched at her side with a glass of something red and questionable: I’m telling you, honey, just try this. It’ll cure that morning sickness in a jiffy.

Carmilla, curled up on her bathroom floor: …it disturbs me that I’m nauseous enough to actually be considering this.

Zestial comes to her rescue and shoos Rosie out to go make her some (GINGER) tea before Carmilla can do something she’ll regret.

Alastor, gazing suspiciously: Why on earth is your abdomen moving like that? Is something trying to break out?

Carmilla, too exhausted to deal with this: That movement is my baby kicking, Alastor.

Alastor: Pardon? You mean to tell me that one can see that on the outside? Eugh.

Carmilla, glaring at him: You are so lucky you’re not worth getting up for.

- Rosie insists on throwing her a baby shower. Vox and Alastor get kicked out for fighting and are forced to put together the IKEA furniture for the nursery as punishment.

- I seriously doubt this lot can build and work an ultrasound machine, so something like this is likely.

Carmilla, slowly coming to after giving birth: Mmmh…?

Rosie, happily bouncing one baby in her arms: Oh good, she’s up! Congratulations, sweetie. You have two beautiful daughters 🥰

Carmilla: ….

Zestial, who’s gently cradling the other: Carmilla…? Is something the matter?

Carmilla: …there’s really two of them. I thought I was hallucinating.

BONUS:

Fun fact- some scientists say cats have sensitive enough hearing that they can hear babies’ heartbeats within their mother’s bodies.

Husk, staring at Carmilla:

Carmilla, who’s still processing that she’s pregnant and hasn’t begun telling anyone else: …is something wrong?

Husk, ears bristling slightly: h o w m a n y h e a r t s d o y o u h a v e ?

[gardnhee]

simply divine - C.BG

౨ৎ warning(s). smuttyyyy, needy/whiny gyu, kind of filthy, gyu is bratty, switch!gyu/yn, yn is older by 2 yrs, impact play, they’re both rough, use of “whore”, somnophilia if you squint - lmk if I missed anything :3 !

౨ৎ nonidol!gyu x afab!reader

౨ৎ wc. 1.2k

౨ৎ note. i was having a lil nice conversation with @beomiracles about gyu’s adam’s apple, then I came to the conclusion that I am, in fact, obsessed with it. so here’s a drabble to make up for the lack of fics ! > 0 <

Insatiable is the best way to describe it. This need, this hunger. It consumed you. Especially now that you’re straddling your boyfriend’s lap, lips swollen and irritated, wanting more.

The rain is relentlessly drumming on your window, dimmed lights casted upon Beomgyu’s jaw-dropping features. His eyes are lidded, glossed over with lust and urgency. Disheveled hair, goosebump ridden skin, delectable lips that you can’t seem to get enough of.

You caress his cheek, finger tracing over his flawless skin, eventually traveling to his neck. You grin, gently pushing him onto the mattress. “Be gentle…” Beomgyu mutters, slim hand wrapping around your wrist as he props himself up on his elbow.

“Oh, shut up. You weren’t complaining when I had your lip between my teeth.” You retort matter-of-factly, guiding him down until his spine kisses the soft surface.

“You’re right, now I want another kiss.” He pouts.

“Ask nicely and I’ll consider it.”

He rolls his eyes, gripping your waist so he can slowly move you over his crotch, “please,” his voice is breathy, groaning at the friction, “please kiss me.” You swallow, granting his wish without another word.

He makes it so hard for you to be mean.

However, you can’t give in so easily. Not when his Adam’s apple bobs as he gulps, begging to be touched, to be sucked on. His mouth is hot against yours, ravenous, sloppy. Like you’re his oxygen, his one and only need. Beomgyu’s grip tightens like a vice, refusing to let go.

You bite his lower lip as his hands roam under your shirt, carving crescent moons into the supple skin. You flick his left nipple, hot and perky, pulling away from his mouth to peck the hard nub. You moan against him, nipping at it, and eliciting a mewl from the younger male.

“Fuck…hah…ah…” gyu’s thighs tense as he whines, squirming, “‘m g’na cum…” His fingers find their way into your hair, “stop,” tugging at the strands to bring you face to face with him.

“Don’t fucking pull my hair again, you whore.” You smack his hand away, nails digging into his cheek as he seethes. “You’re such a brat, beomgyu…” you murmur, tilting his head back till his back is arched just enough, exposing his soft neck and that delicious bump you love so much.

“Stay like that, don’t move.”

“What if I do?”

You strike him across the chest, making him jolt with a wail, “don’t even think about it. Be obedient.” Beomgyu tsks, narrowly cocking his head to peek at you. “Head back. I’m not going to ask you again.”

“I really regret giving you the reigns today.” His comment lacks any real meaning, he loves you, and he adores when you take the lead. He’s not fooling anyone, especially you.

“Yeah, right.” You lean in, kissing his Adam’s apple. He sighs, smile lining his lips. You proceed to suck on the bump, drawing circles on his nipples with your thumbs.

A wanton moan slips past his reddened lips, “ah…oh, god.” He shivers as your nimble fingers brush over his abused skin, littered with love bites. “You look so,” you lick his Adam’s apple, “fucking heavenly.”

“Thank you - fu…uuck - princess.” Beomgyu’s head lolls, tears clumping to his wet lashes, “please…keep sucking-!” His words are clipped, muscles tensing under your touch.

“Look at you…” you coo, getting ahold of his matted hair, which is sticking to his sweaty forehead. There’s a sheer layer of shine blanketing his body, abs twitching below you. You can’t help but taunt him. “I’ve barely even touched you.”

“B-barely?!” Your boyfriend echoes, rather baffled, disbelief flashing through his teary eyes.

“You heard me.”

“Stop being an asshole, yn, and just fuck me.” He presses the heels of his palms over his eyes in frustration.

You shrug, moving to his neck, and ignoring his aching cock, twitching under your unmoving body. “God - ngh - damnit.” Beomgyu grips your shirt, tugging at it.

“I’ll give you what you want when I see fit.” You scowl, words muffled, seeping into his neck. You swirl your tongue around his Adam’s apple, humming in glee because you’re just so in love. Because you just can’t believe he’s yours.

The pads of your fingers trail over his collarbones as you lick a thick stripe along the way. “I really love you, Beomgyu.” You whisper, so faint it would fly over anyone’s head had they not been listening.

Beomgyu isn’t just anyone, though.

“What’s this about? So suddenly?” He chuckles, soothingly running his tender fingers through your damp hair. “I said, I really love you, Beomgyu.” You repeat, much louder this time.

“Come here.” Gyu grabs your arm, dragging you along till you’re lying above him. “I love you more, yn. So, so much.” He airily kisses you, not like before — it’s not loud, urgent, but meek and quiet.

“Oh, fuck this.” You unzip his pants with urgency, shimmying them down in a feeble manner. You want him. You want him so, so bad. And you simply can’t hold back anymore.

In the blink of an eye, you’re hovering over his anticipating dick, mushroom tip leaking pre. You sink, ripping a wince from his chest. “F-fuck!” Beomgyu stutters, clawing at the already soiled sheets.

“God it— f-ha! — it’s s-so good!” Tears spill over his stained cheeks. “Y..yeah..” you agree, grinding painfully slow. He trembles, gawking at the feeling of your pussy pulsing around him. Your palms are flat on his heaving chest, marveling at the sweat trickling down the curvature of his pecs. “Im so close…” you grit, subtly quickening your pace. Beomgyu nods frantically, “y-yes please!” Mind somewhere else as drool dribbles off his chin, eyes rolled back.

“baby you’re - mff - doing so well…” You clench at his words, convulsing as a wave of ecstasy washes over you. You quiver, toes curling with shaky breaths. It’s so blissful, like a wave of euphoria cursing through your veins, making your toes curl in white-hot pleasure.

The top of his thighs are now flush against your ass, “I’m close, pretty…” he kisses your temple as your face is nuzzled in his neck. He thrusts, each stroke touching your soul in a way that makes you see stars. Electricity finds purchase at the tips of your fingers, prodding under your skin till it rips at the very seams of who you are.

Beomgyu always felt otherworldly, everything about him is just new and refreshing. He finds a way to accommodate to your every need, and vice versa. “Oh, f-uu…!“ he stills, words dying in his throat, mouth ‘o’ shaped in a quiet moan. His thighs quake, pressing you even tighter against him.

Once his climax is nothing but a faint throb in his groin, he peeks at you, laughing quietly. “No way you fell asleep…” he mutters, eyes fighting sleep themselves. “Guess I am, too.” He feels the low rumble of your chest, rising and falling, breath fanning his collarbones. Beomgyu pulls out with a bite of his lip, brows furrowing at the sensation. Soon enough, he’s fast asleep with you in his arms.

His safe space, his home, so utterly and simply divine.

౨ৎ … I hate this !!! went on vacation so I couldn’t finish it, decided to come back to it and rush 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️.

౨ৎ … @theresawtf @jjklvr9 @binniebakery @beomies-world @hyukaaa @ninoshome1 @babymochibeargyu @lunathewritingcat @duckywuckypookiepie @naoristerling @oddracha @soohashits @junimoa03 @sendhelpiloveyeonjun @beomtasticc @itaehynz

౨ৎ … please like, comment, and reblog. Would be highly appreciated 🫶

© GARDNHEE, do not copy, modify, or upload on other platforms.

[hibiscusseaart]

Had a dream today and I'm evolving it as I go here

The main idea that Rin didn't die when she tried to unalive herself by Kakashi's hand, but Obito was already traumatized and got in with Madara's Moon Eye plan. So yada-yada, she's the jinchuriki of Sanbi. BUT the difference was that she decided to come out of the closet (a real tight one cuz of her clan but she almost just DIED what to regret now) that she's actually a guy. So FTM Rin guys. Rin is he/him from now on.

He wouldn't change his personality and crush on Kakashi much. Dude is a medic, have you met medics? My extended family has a lot of medics in ER and other and let me tell you, they're ruthless and give 0 fucks.

Oh and since he's a medic he has top notch access to remove his own boobs and change his hormones fucking manually.

I think he would rethink his crush on Kakashi, like, man, he's a loser, plus it's hard to crush on someone who you thought killed you (even tho you made him) AND Kakashi has doomed love with 'dead' Obito and it's a bummer.

Idk about his name tho, he probably would change it just to, unknowingly, create more confusion for poor Obito, who is SURE that Rin is dead-dead and fucking Konoha didn't even made a grave for her and Kakashi doesn't even VISIT.

Madara and Zetsu obviously don't tell him about his development. They don't need him to have a hope in this world again.

Kakashi is just glad that he didn't kill his teammate and maybe they connect better since "Rin" (listen i NEED a name for him, but i have 0 ideas about meaning or what ever. maybe he'd take something to honor Obito's memory?) doesn't crush on him anymore and maybe he's trans too?? idk about it yet but he might act warmer to "Rin" now.

So Obito is just confused, like WHO is this dude from Nohara clan who is now with Kakashi ALL the time (they're still best friends). He doesn't connect that this brown haired (!) medic (!!) from Nohara clan (!!!) with the same marks (!!!) same age as them (!!!!!) might be Rin. like no, nope, Rin a nice gentle lady, not this smoking dude who yells at Kakashi and curses at him cuz he run away from hospital again.

So yeah Obito is just not impressed. But intrigued. And jealous. He stalks Kakashi AND this guy all the time. May develop a crush on both, cuz "Rin" is still the same at his core.

Kakashi would still go in ANBU cuz Minato asked him (still not sure about it, like yeah lets put deeply traumatized 13 yo in assasin squad good job) and stuff.

So idk how canon would go from there, like i doubt that Minato would let 14 yo jinchuriki near another one at this tense situation, even tho "Rin" could've help.

So yeah Kushiha and Minato die, "Rin" barely holds onto the Sanbi but Obito finds out that the guy is holding them. He doesn't connects the dots. Or he does? His mind just CAN'T hold on to the fact that his Rin MIGHT survived.

But maybe "Rin" was closer to the place where they sealed Kuubi in Naruto (maybe he ran there cuz there's Kuubi rampaging and he HAS to help) so Minato entrusted Naruto to him, not to fucking Sandaime.

So yeah, now "Rin" is Naruto's legal dad at the age of 14 and no one can fucking take him away cuz a) it was Minato's dying wish; and b) just fucking TRY to peer "Rin" away from Naruto, you'll get your hand bitten off and NO arguments work, cuz "Rin", who was trained by Kushina in jinchuriki stuff, can make some sort of turtle shield and he hides in it with his new baby and no one can do anything.

And no one can protect baby jinchuriki better than the other jinchuriki so it's fine. Everyone just accepts it.

(Isobu laughs at Kurama cuz haha im the older sibling now :))

Naruto is bullied less but I think no one can tell him about his parents cuz Sandaime sucks ass. But "Rin" drops HUGE hints cuz he hates Sandaime now too. Like no shit Tsunade left.

Idk what would happen with Obito if he finds out about "Rin's" identity. he'd come back crawling and crying probably. Maybe try to kidnap him and cry more in Kamui.

update: added sketch

[bliss-in-the-void]

My actual canonical interpretation of SatoSugu?

I believe they were the bestest of friends, inseparable soul mates who were mutually in love with each other, but never confessed the depth of their feelings, never discussed their relationship, and never actually made anything out of it.

I believe that Suguru had a massive crush on Satoru throughout their high school years. Satoru was more dense on the other hand and did love Suguru but didn’t know how to place his feelings exactly. Suguru was always by his side and that was enough, he felt secure, so why look into it deeper?

After the trauma from the Star Plasma Vessel mission, Suguru was heartbroken that Satoru left him alone a lot. He missed Satoru and spiraled, self-isolated, started becoming obsessed with his own self-talk about ‘monkeys’ and ‘creating a new world with sorcerers only’. He and Satoru both became self-absorbed. Suguru lost that crush and admiration he had for Satoru even though he still loved him. He wanted his own goals more. So he left.

The second he left, I bet that’s when Satoru realized what Suguru meant to him. That’s probably one of the reasons that Satoru is stuck in the past, because he finally placed his feelings for Suguru, realized he was in love with him, and kept replaying those moments they had together, realizing he never noticed Suguru sending signals, mad at himself for never noticing. He regretted it so badly that he just couldn’t stop living in the past with Suguru. If he’d just paid attention, if he noticed Suguru’s signals, his spiraling, maybe he could have stopped it.

That moment where Suguru returns to the high school to declare war only to leave again, when Satoru watches and watches, (according to the JJK 0 Light Novel) his “eyes kept following the shape of Geto’s soul”. He couldn’t look away. He was filled with so much regret. His entire creed is to raise strong sorcerers together so that no one has to be alone the way Suguru and he ended up.

And when the time came for him to kill Suguru, because last words are so important to him, he finally told Suguru what he should have told him when they were high schoolers. “I love you.”

Suguru, who’d long buried those feelings, probably realized that the things he’d told himself about how Satoru viewed him were wrong. This whole time, Satoru really did love and trust him still. That’s why he smiled. He was loved in return.

“You should at least curse me a little at the end.”

He wishes Satoru would have hated him because now he’s filled with regret. If only they’d had talked sooner, none of this would have happened. Suguru had always placed emphasis on ‘found family’. We see this when he calls Kuroi “Riko’s family” and when he adopts Mimiko and Nanako, as well as the rest of the sorcerers/curse users he rounds up for the Night Parade of 1,000 Demons. With that said, I know for a fact that when they were in high school, he saw Satoru as his family. He saw him as home, as safety, as love.

Really, the only time that he and Satoru aren’t putting on some sort of act is when they’re alone together. It’s strange to see the two of them so serious, especially Satoru, who deflects with humor like his life depends on it. But it’s fitting. They’re just comfortable around each other, there’s no need for masks. They never even seriously raised their hands against each other, nor fatally hurt each other’s family/students.

Now, fast-forward to a year later in Shibuya, when Kenjaku uses the love Satoru and Suguru have for each other against Satoru. How does he know seeing Suguru would have such a drastic effect on Satoru that it would immobilize him completely? Did he watch from afar? Did he keep tabs on them? Or did he see Suguru’s memories somehow? Could he feel how Suguru felt when around Satoru? I’d like to think it was both—Kenjaku kept tabs on them before Suguru died, and gained access to his memories after taking him over.

He even knew the tone Suguru used to use for Satoru’s name. The soft way he called his name. He knew the only thing in the entire world that could stop the strongest sorcerer in modern times was using the love of his life against him.

The smile Satoru had when he thought it was Suguru makes me believe that the only thing he wanted was to see him again.

Then, when he realized it wasn’t him, Kenjaku said “how sad, you don’t recognize me?”

As if to say Suguru would be devasted that Satoru didn’t recognize him. Kenjaku knows how Suguru feels about Satoru.

Then Satoru calls him on his bs and he says “creepy, how did you know?”

Creepy?

The only other time Kenjaku is creeped out is waaaaaaay later in the manga (spoilers ahead) when Satoru sets the fight day to Dec 24th Kenjaku acknowledges that it’s romantic, and that “having a date with him on the 24th gives him the creeps”.

Oh, I know he’s grossed out with how much they love each other. Like. How the hell else do you interpret that???? Come. On.

Add in when Suguru somehow comes back from the dead for a moment and tries to choke his own body to save Satoru. Kenjaku is baffled—that’s never happened before. That is a demonstration of love everlasting, absolutely.

Then you have Shoko’s “I’d never fall in love with either of you, but you were still never alone” to SatoSugu, basically confirming that she knew the two of them shared a romantic bond that she couldn’t replicate the depth of.

So. Yes. They were very very much in love with each other and to this day Satoru loves Suguru with every fiber of his being and lives his life dedicated to atoning for his (self-perceived) failures to Suguru. He thinks about him everyday. He says he was his only friend. He has Shoko, Ijichi, Mei Mei, and Utahime and yet he only sees Suguru. He only sees Suguru.

[gffa]

I've been a little slow on getting out new STAR WARS fic recs out, but in my defense it's because I've been reading a bunch of longer fics lately. In the spirit of "there's a special feeling to those fics that consume you and make you stay up until 3am because you can't put them down", here's a list of some of the ones I've loved or am in the middle of reading and they are haunting my thoughts and I need to inflict that on everyone else. Whether you're looking at a long upcoming trip and need some good reading material or avoiding your feelings by sinking into fic or just because you like reading, I hope you'll find something here! Including a bonus underrunning theme of throwing in a bunch of Jedi-loving fic to continue my agenda of making Jedi-centric fandom a more fun place to be. 30k+ is the minimum and this isn't all of my favorites, but it's a great list of "I have a week off to kill and I want to be in a fic coma by the end of it".

STAR WARS FIC FOR WHEN YOU NEED TO KILL ABOUT TEN HOURS WORTH OF TIME AND WANT TO HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT FICTIONAL PSYCHIC SPACE WIZARDS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT:

✦ Out with Lanterns by SkyeBean, mace & ahsoka & plo & shaak & cast, 312.5k     In another universe, Jedi Masters Plo Koon and Depa Billaba decide a Padawan could do Mace some good. It takes a while, but he eventually agrees. When he takes Ahsoka Tano as his Padawan, Mace knows that he's broken through a Shatterpoint and changed the course of a life. How, he doesn't know. ✦ Reprise by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & mace & yoda & anakin & cast, time travel, 558.9k wip     Ben Kenobi dies aboard the Death Star in the year 0 BBY. He wakes up shortly thereafter in the Jedi temple in the year 41 BBY. Haunted by memories and regret, Ben must forge a new path for himself in the Jedi Order of his youth while navigating the murky waters of time travel. Crafting a better future from bitter experience is hard, but learning to heal is even harder. ✦ Take it from the top and try again by mauvera, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & padme & mace & shmi & dooku & cast, time travel, 112k wip     Five years into his self imposed exile on Tattooine, Obi-Wan Kenobi is gifted the chance to go back and bring hope back to the galaxy. With hindsight on his side, he fully intends to save his master, save his padawan, make some new and old friends again, prepare the Jedi for a war they’ll hopefully never see and begin to pull apart all the many tangled threads of the Sith Lord’s plans. Should be relatively easy. Right? ✦ Post Order 66 Exile AU by Livsy, obi-wan & anakin & cast, 46k     Alternatively: after a failed order 66, in which many Jedi still died but the Sith were defeated, an exiled warrior and a boy wander a distant planet and attempt to get along. ✦ Remedial Jedi Theology by MarbleGlove, obi-wan & anakin & jedi & cast, 51.3k     Let us consider the fact that the Jedi Order is a monastic religious organization based out of a temple, with five basic tenets of faith. ✦ Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi by stonefreeak, obi-wan & anakin & padme & yoda & palpatine & bail & dooku & mace & quinlan & vokara & ahsoka & cast, 124.5k wip     By an old Republic law, all members of the Jedi High Council are senators in the Galactic Senate, and can thus be voted in as chancellor. A Senator from a less prominent planet has had enough of Chancellor Palpatine's incompetence and calls for a Vote of No-Confidence and the installation of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi as Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic. This one action becomes the catalyst that changes the direction of the galaxy. ✦ What We've Become by Vinyarie, vader & ahsoka & cast, 82k     Darth Vader and Ahsoka’s fight on Malachor takes a different path, and Ahsoka actually is able to save her master. Or rather, she’s able to convince him to save himself. Diverges from canon in the last few minutes of Twilight of the Apprentice and goes increasingly AU from there.

✦ time to change the road you're on by wreckageofstars, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & luke & leia & han & ghost crew & cast, time travel, 93.6k wip     The end of the Clone War is near - the fall of the Republic even nearer. Anakin Skywalker, caught up in the events that lead to the rise of the Empire and the loss of everything he holds dear, finds himself sent nearly two decades into the future. Ahsoka Tano, still coming to painful terms with the true fate of her former master, is - not exactly happy to see him. But the Force works in mysterious ways - and the future is not nearly as set in stone as they've been lead to believe. Multi-chapter AU, Rise of the Empire/Rebels-era. ✦ narrower than a razor's edge by bereft_of_frogs, obi-wan & dooku & qui-gon & anakin & sidious & cast, 30.2k     Dooku tips his hand ten years earlier because he can't stand the thought of his former apprentice's murder, and that might just be enough to save everyone...if it doesn't get them all killed first. ✦ soften every edge by gigglesandfreckles, obi-wan & ahsoka (& anakin), major character death, 48.1k     "Rejoice!" the galaxy says, in the wake of war and the dawning of peace. "How?" Obi-Wan asks. "No," Ahsoka says. (or: Obi-Wan & Ahsoka learn to live on.) ✦ hunting toward heartstill by blackkat, mace/cody & plo & fives & shaak & obi-wan & anakin & rex & cast, 207.2k     Plo has an idea. Mace agrees, and everything snowballs right into hell from there. (Or: Mace and Cody get married in order to give the clones citizen status. Before they can focus on that, though, they're going to have to deal with ancient Sith artifacts, evil prophets, plots to overthrow the Supreme Chancellor, lost planets, monsters warped by Sith alchemy, inconvenient , and Darth Sidious turning his eye on a potential new apprentice. Just...not in that order.) ✦ Cataclasm by dendral, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & waxer & cast, 63.1k wip     For reasons unknown to all but himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Jedi Order in the midst of the Clone Wars, taking with him a single clone. Anakin Skywalker has been unofficially tasked by the Order to find Obi-Wan and bring him home. Unfortunately for Anakin, it seems his former master is always ten steps ahead of him. ✦ Unexpected Awakening (The Rewrite) by Rhiw, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & feemor & bruck & jango & cast, time travel, 135.1k wip     The life of General Kenobi is cut short at the hands of his Padawan, but the sight that greets his eyes upon awakening is not that of blinding light of the Force, but the Jedi Temple he knew when he was still a youth. As he struggles to understand the path laid out before him, Obi-Wan unwittingly captures the attention of a singularly unusual Temple Guard, and that of a reluctant Qui-Gon Jinn.

✦ Knightrise by deviantaccumulation, obi-wan & ahsoka & satine & yoda & cast, 89.4k wip     There is no battle on Mustafar or in Coruscant's senate building. Instead, a small but still alive Jedi Order rises from its ashes on Mandalore. ✦ Fire and Ice by Yesac, obi-wan & anakin & cast, 111.9k     Anakin wins the duel on Mustafar, but doesn't kill Obi-Wan. Along with Padme, Obi-Wan finds himself living in a chaotic world where the man he thought he knew has become the thing he swore to destroy. Can Anakin be turned back? If so, what then? ✦ Better That a Millstone by Icarus_is_flying, obi-wan & luke & anakin & leia & cast, 86.7k     Vader discovers Luke and Obi-Wan on Tatooine when Luke is one year old and attempts to reclaim the family he threw away. Obi-Wan is less than pleased, and Luke and Leia? They have their own ideas about how their future should play out. ✦ Bloodlines by KCKenobi, obi-wan & anakin & dooku, 35.8k     When an explosion traps them in the same doomed escape pod, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Dooku are stranded together on Tatooine. The goal is simple: cooperate long enough to survive, and not a second longer. But a shared past has a way of connecting the people we think we know—and bloodlines run deep. [or: your classic family road trip across a desert planet, except your grandpa is, you know, a Sith Lord. And now he's sort of starting to bond with your Jedi dad. And that might be an issue.] ✦ When Darkness Seems to Hide This Place by IllyanaA, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & rex & cast, 136k wip     After killing three of the Jedi Order's best and brightest, Palpatine's fight with Jedi Master Mace Windu goes shorter than expected. Afraid he's lost his chance at recruiting a new apprentice, Sidious unleashes Order 66 across the galaxy, but, per their programming, the Clone Army is not to harm Anakin Skywalker. After witnessing the most painful loss he's ever experienced and injured at the hands of his captors, Anakin is ready to die like the rest of the Jedi, though not before getting his vengeance. ✦ Precipice by shadowsong26, obi-wan & anakin & padme & luke & leia & bail & ahsoka & rex & cast, 253.6k     An AU in which Anakin Skywalker does not follow Mace Windu and the others to Palpatine’s office after they leave to arrest the Chancellor. As a result, he doesn’t get that final push over the edge, and doesn’t Fall. ✦ Averting Galactic Destruction by kj_feybarn, obi-wan & anakin & quinlan & rex & cody & fives & dogma & wolffe & plo & shaak & dooku & sidious, time travel, 44.3k     AKA The Time the Force Sent Obi-Wan Back in Time and Quinlan Vos kept him from Going Kamikaze because let’s be Honest, Being Forced to Come Back in Time Would Suck.

✦ Into the Archives by skygawker, obi-wan & anakin/padme & palpatine & cast, 104.9k wip     After hearing the legend of Darth Plagueis the Wise from Palpatine, Anakin decides that his best chance to save Padme is to break into the restricted Holocron Vault of the Temple Archives to search for information about Plagueis. Predictably, all does not go according to plan. Revenge of the Sith AU. ✦ Live To Fight Another Day by raemanzu, spica_tea, cody & rex & jesse & kix & obi-wan & anakin & fox & cast, 396.9k wip     Clones have their place in the universe, beyond the schemes of Palpatine. Events conspire to place Rex on the path of a new fate, one which will affect the future in ways not even the Jedi could foresee. Loyal to source material and characterizations. Canon-divergent. Starts between seasons 5 and 6 of TCW and explores Rex’s reaction to Fives’ dying words and subsequent events building toward Order 66. Variety of canon characters. No ships. Very Ace and Aro. Strong focus on certain friendships (Rex and Cody, Jesse and Kix, etc) with those friendships playing major roles. Thematically about how the clones navigate loss, trauma, the concept of their enslavement, their identities, etc amongst the larger active plot threads. Content warnings for war-related PTSD, trauma, combat injuries, and all around war-related angst etc in later chapters. ✦ Life and What Comes After by Ibelin, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & padme & cast, 177.2k wip     Obi-Wan dies on Jabiim. Anakin blames himself, doesn't know how to go on and yet - he does. Maybe the Force rewards that kind of thing, or maybe he just gets lucky, but when a mission lands Anakin on a vaguely familiar planet, he gets a second chance to do what he knows he should have done in the first place: save his master. (And maybe a chance to save the galaxy, too.) ✦ Knight-Errant by zinjadu, anakin & ahsoka & obi-wan & padme & rex & jedi & clones, 315.8k     AU - The Jedi Who Knew Too Much. Rex decides to stay "in pursuit" of his Commander; he jumps. Now, with backup, Ahsoka navigates the lower levels and deals with Ventress. Meanwhile, Anakin takes the Order to task, finds a little more support, and things turn out a little differently for everyone. And this is just the beginning. ✦ the massive machinery of hope by Killbothtwins, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & shmi & jedi, time travel, 150.1k     After the end of the war with the Empire, Obi-Wan wakes up in his twelve-year old body. Now all he needs to do is convince everyone he's psychic, trick his Master into taking him on before he's sent to Bandomeer, redeem a few bad guys, and try not to have a nervous breakdown. Pretty easy. It's not like the Sith are lurking on the horizon, waiting to devour the Jedi Order.

✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & ahsoka & padme & cast, time travel/body swap, 120k     The Daughter has a bad day and it irrevocably changes the fate of the galaxy, twice over. Or; ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels. ✦ In All The World by Kjellarnen, obi-wan & anakin & cast, 144.8k wip     The story of how Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi tamed each other, from Naboo to Anakin's early days at the Temple. ✦ In Another Life by KCKenobi, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & padme, time travel, 52.3k     Eleven years after the rise of the Empire, a favor to a friend sends Obi-Wan traveling through the multiverse. He encounters different versions of the galaxy and of himself—including one in which Anakin never turned to the dark side. Obi-Wan and this Light Anakin are forced to work together to stop the creation of a disastrous Empire weapon. But as they move through different versions of reality, the timelines become more and more twisted—and the harder it is to distinguish who they are from who they might have been. And—to find their way home. ✦ The Intruder by Hollyoakhill, obi-wan & original clone characters, 82.5k     When a vicious attack from a strange, indestructible monster traps them on a derelict star destroyer, a young clone trooper fresh from Kamino join forces with Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi to find a way to escape. ✦ Conceal Me What I Am by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin & padme & yoda & mace & palpatine & quinlan & cast, omegaverse, NSFW, 108.3k     Separatist Propaganda is turning the Republic against the Jedi Order and the Senate sees no choice but to join in a political alliance to fight dissent on a unified front.An alliance is proposed through an arranged marriage,between a Jedi Knight and Republic Senator. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi are chosen as representatives of the political union by Darth Sidious, meant to bring ruin to the marriage and the public's support of the Jedi,for Obi-Wan Kenobi is not the Beta he claims. But even Sidious does not know of the secret Anakin Skywalker keeps, that he is not the Alpha the galaxy believes him to be. ✦ Equinox by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 95.9k     During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin crash on a remote planet and take shelter in the ruins of a grand estate only to find they are not alone.

✦ Invictus by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 40.3k     "He is the balance, the other half, the completion to Skywalker’s soul, a perfect dyad in the force. But while Kenobi is a simple answer, the force also sees the difficulty of the pair coming together in balance. The foundations of the galaxy they exist in pull at them, threatening to intervene in their unity. But this is also a simple problem, for the force is far greater than the foundations of a single galaxy, for it is the foundation of all. So the force enacts its will, to bridge the pair over a span of moments, of years, of eternities, and Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi will fall in love, have fallen in love, and are falling in love." ✦ Neutron star collision by thedunesea, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 121.2k wip     In the aftermath of Order 66, Anakin Skywalker's miraculous survival after his confrontation with the new Sith Apprentice Darth Vader ignites a sparkle of hope in the remaining Jedi, in the fledgling rebellion and, above all, in his former Master, who thought he had lost everything to darkness. But darkness is generous, and it is patient. ✦ Lex Talionis by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & dooku & rex & cast, NSFW, 187.1k     The ancient Galactic Republic is dying slowly—an ugly death of corruption, sprawl, and decay—with the sin of slavery hanging over its every triumph. The beleaguered Jedi Knights are too few to adequately patrol and police the entire Republic, and are faced with complacency and greed at every turn. Born into a crumbling and stagnant galaxy, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are faced with the greatest challenge of all: themselves. Obi-Wan likes rules and control. When the galaxy around him stops playing by the rules, what is a Jedi to do? Anakin needs rules and restraint. When the galaxy around him conspires to set him loose, what is his Master to do? Falling slowly or falling fast, falling through lust or falling through wrath—it all leads to delusion and moral decay. What can be born from the ashes? ✦ Atlas of Our Ruin by Ripki, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, time travel, 230.8k     Both the past and the future casts long shadows. Obi-Wan and Anakin learn that the hard way, when a mysterious holocron flings them backwards and forwards in time, forcing them to confront painful truths. But the time-travel is only the beginning… ✦ Seed by bell (belldreams), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 44k     When Anakin falls prey to a lethal poison, Obi-Wan has no choice but use all his resources to heal him-- no matter how reluctant he is in administering the antidote.

✦ wicked thing by imaginarykat, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & cast, nsfw, sith!obi-wan, 124.2k wip     There are rumours of yet another Sith Lord hiding among the Separatists. The Council sends Anakin to investigate. Anakin has a bad feeling about this. or, the story of how Anakin exists in a perpetual state of intense embarrassment, Obi-Wan is enjoying it a little too much, and everything is, generally speaking, a gigantic mess. ✦ Rulebreaker/Wildheart by chapstickaddict, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & luke & leia & barriss & cast, NSFW, 230k     Darth Vader, the strong arm of the Sith, held loyal to his Order since they took he and his mother from slavery in the deserts of Tatooine. Until he became convinced they killed his wife. He abandoned his Order and disappeared in the chaos of the Clone Wars, presumed dead by all sides. That young Skywalker is known around town as a widower and homesteader; a Nabooian who emigrated to avoid the trade blockade; a father of overly-energetic twins and warding a Togruta war orphan; a decent mechanic if your farm equipment or maintenance droid is acting up. Anakin is a paranoid, over-protective hot mess doing his best to raise his weird pack the way Padmé would have wanted. How the hell is he supposed to do that when his kids and not-apprentice make him haul a half-dead Jedi Master home like a lost pet? ✦ more than a candle by jenmishe, obi-wan/anakin/padme, NSFW, 50.3k     "The dark is generous and it is patient and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies its weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars." Or, a few thousands of words of how Anakin, Obi Wan, and Padmé realize many things, which include, most notably, how they feel about each other and how to handle said feelings. Oh, and in the meantime, they deal with a megalomaniac Sith Lord. ✦ Anamorphosis by avocadomoon, obi-wan/padme & anakin & mace & corde & qui-gon & cast, 33.5k     noun, plural an·a·mor·pho·ses [an-uh-mawr-fuh-seez, -mawr-foh-seez]. A distorted or monstrous projection or representation of an image on a plane or curved surface, which, when viewed from a certain point, or as reflected from a curved mirror or through a polyhedron, appears regular and in proportion; a deformation of an image.

[theoncomingchaos]

Who loves Rook: Spite or Lucanis

I've been seeing a lot of discourse about this, and I just want to add my thoughts.

I might be totally wrong about this, but here we go. When Spite was put into Lucanis, he was still Determination. The fact that he changed throughout the torture, forced insertion, and imprisonment suggests to me that they have been put into a speedrun of a similar situation to Anders and Justice/Vengeance where they have started to meld. (As Anders put it, you wouldn't know where one begins and the other ends). Just like Anders and Vengeance, Lucanis and Spite can have separate consciousnesses and even disagree about things, but their core values have started to influence one another and become a part of one another- heightening certain aspects.

I think this melding is why we see some dialogues where Rook tells Lucanis that he sounds like Spite and similarly it's also the reason for the shared attraction- which I fully believe is coming originally from Lucanis.

I'll be honest my first time through I romanced Lucanis and was very disappointed. I didn't even see him and Neve ever flirt (she only ever encouraged us!) But still, it seemed to go from 0 to 60 with him. Now, I am on my second playthrough and I only just met him, but I am starting to see some really subtle looks and dialogues that suggest that Lucanis wasn't lying later when he said he was attracted to Rook from the beginning, but was afraid to really pursue anything or even acknowledge the possibility of being with them. With his fear of trusting people, ptsd from the prison, failed history in romance, and his new situation with Spite that he still hadn't worked out yet, he never thought anything would or could ever come of his feelings. We know Lucanis loves romance stories and likely longs for one of his own, but in such a situation it must have seemed truly impossible and terrifying to let someone else in. Especially someone you really care for and are starting to trust. So, he pushed it all down. Rook flirts? Maybe a small smile, but then quickly lock it all up with everything else he can't handle. Focus on work. Don't think about Spite, or Rook, or anything difficult.

However, if the melding has already happened as I suspect, then the feelings Spite is expressing are shared with (and likely sourced from) Lucanis, he's just better at expressing it directly- which makes sense for a spirit that was once Determination. When you first talk to Lucanis after the rescue, the thing Spite says about Rook changes accordingly to your tone, but to me the responses still sound like they come from Lucanis and are then echoed in Spite: "He doesn't want to hurt us." Even the "He's more fun than you" is something Lucanis seems to think about himself as he is fully aware that much of his life has not been his own and believes "all he knows is death."

Leading back to the main point, Lucanis's trust and interest in Rook would be heightened by Spite the way Anders' anger towards the templars was heightened. Even though they are finally free from the prison, their is a sense of constant suffering from still feeling trapped by fear, regret, and pain- Spite feels that suffering too. The elements of determination are still within him the same way justice is another side to vengeance. Both spite and vengeance are the results of failing to achieve their goals of Justice and Determination. Spite sees Rook as a way to free them from pain and restraint, a glowing and beautiful key to the prison door, and he is determined to do what needs to be done to solve the problem. That's why he doesn't hesitate. He has no fear. He wants to talk to Rook. He wants Rook to come in and free them.

After Rook has freed them, they become a source of comfort and safety, once they encourage Lucanis and Spite to find a way to cohabit comfortably, the two continue to meld, and the need to protect Rook, to love Rook, to keep them, is very deeply shared. Now, IF Spite was somehow removed or even somehow restored (Both of which I think are impossible) that would likely change. Determination outside of Lucanis would likely become more like Compassion. He would likely forget the horrors he experienced to return to his original purpose.

So, that leaves some final questions, particularly one Hawke helpfully asked Anders- Is Spite an unwilling party in the threesome?

That's up to everyone's own morality. While both Spite and Lucanis didn't have a choice to become like this, it is the situation they are in and the way they have to find a way to accept and live with because there really doesn't seem to be any real way to change it. Through their time together, Lucanis and Spite have influenced each other and grown into something new. Part of that is Spite also loving Rook. In that way, for those who are feeling (rightfully) underwhelmed by Lucanis's romance, Spite can almost be seen as a symbolic expression of Lucanis's love.

All that being said, I think there were some small things they could have done to make the romance more satisfying over all...but I'll save that for another post.

[menlove]

I’m sure you’ve answered this one before, but what do you personally consider to be the single most convincing piece of mclennon evidence and why?

goddddd this is tough bc for me it's all of them mixed together that makes me dead certain

but I'll narrow it to three bc ik lyrics as evidence piss people off so my first two answers are going to be Brushed Off

but genuinely the most convincing to me is "this one" by paul. like the fact that he literally says it's about john and regrets re john and then the lyrics are

like I genuinely cannot think of an explanation for this song being about john than him having been in love with him. like literally can't think of a single thing that could make these lyrics platonic it's literally the most blatant thing he's EVER done

but people haaaaaate lyrics proof bc they'll say paul is a narrative writer and it's not literal (even though he Literally said it's about john lmfao)

so I'll move to John Lyric Proof that is so blatantly referencing paul and them having had a romantic thing going on but. the real life demo. the linked post goes into it, but it's so fucking obvious it hurts my heart for him. in it, he says: "was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby, and another on the way. la la la la la farm." which can be about literally no one but paul unless john was having some never heard of before affair with linda. paul was expecting another child & lived on a farm, and right before that john had made a reference to him and linda taking a cruise. and he's crying in this demo. but "I used to hold you in my arms" is the like #1 thing that convinced me that they Had some kind of physical relationship bc the rest of the song is very literal so there's no reason he'd be making only one lyric up

BUT LYRICS ASIDE BC THEY MAKE PEOPLE MAD. my #1 non-lyric evidence has gotta be handed to paul's "if I were a girl, maybe I could go out and..." quote lmao like to me there's just 0 non-romantic interpretation of that one. he's just blatantly saying if he were a woman, he'd let himself feel obviously romantically spurned by john leaving for yoko and he could get him to come back. but he can't, because he's a man. it really doesn't get more obvious than that to me

[baphometsss]

Starting to think that 'memories of a duet' might also be about a high approval Inquisitor.

Ofc it will never be confirmed/denied, especially since it makes little sense to be there for a low approval inquisitor and it can also be read as being about Mythal and the early days of Solas living in a body, where she forged him into a weapon. But it's interesting to have it in a room which is otherwise a shrine to the Inquisition. There is beautiful sunlight pouring in through the windows, and it isn't the dull bluish light in the rest of the Lighthouse. He has repainted the frescos from Skyhold, to remember his time as Wisdom ('seeing wholly, and being wholly seen'), with those friends he loved and betrayed. There is a chair with an Inquisition mural on it facing the harpsichord, as if waiting for the Inquisitor to sit and watch him play. A ton of cheese, because they were in Ferelden. There is an Orlesian clock, a Astrarium, and basically 0 references to Mythal. It's odd, then, that the Duet codex would be about Mythal, in a room that is otherwise devoid of her presence. It is a sanctuary, the only part of the Lighthouse that truly lives up to its name for Solas.

You have to make the statues of Fen'harel and Mythal face each other to access it. As if it's only by facing his regrets and humbling himself that he will allow himself to indulge in his 'selfish' desires to be loved and seen for who he truly is, something that Mythal and even Felassan did not give him. The rest of the Lighthouse is filled with destroyed frescos of memories he wants to forget (mainly featuring Mythal), and there is a fragment of Mythal in the Crossroads that he never goes to see. He doesn't allow himself to be selfish or he'll be tempted off his path like he was when he was with the Inquisition, and the presence of Mythal in the Lighthouse is his way of reminding himself to stay true to his purpose. Yet still, he destroys references to her; he destroys the murals because they are too painful to witness, his Pride cannot handle it.

The truth is that since gaining a body, nothing about Solas's life has been about want. He never wanted to come through, but he was asked to by a friend who wanted his help and wisdom to fight a war they would likely die fighting in. He cannot resist appeals to his true nature. He didn't want to stay and seems to have returned to the Fade at some point (the second memory where Mythal shrugs him off to return to the Evanuris appears to take place in the Fade).

He hasn't had anything he wanted since he was a spirit in the Fade. A romanced Lavellan/high approval Inquisitor, and the bonds he formed in the Inquisition, made him reflect his true purpose, and it's through his time in the Inquisition that he begins to change. By his own admission, he came very close to breaking during the Crestwood moment with a romanced Inquisitor. However, the destruction of his orb by Corypheus, and the ritual to tear down the Veil already being underway, meant that he couldn't abandon his plans. He failed in his attempt to unlock the power of his Orb.

And that's kind of the crux of his change: Pride cannot handle failure, as failure requires humility, which is its opposite. Solas in DATV is Pride is trying to prove its purpose; Mythal is used a figurehead for all his regrets, but don't forget that he destroyed a fragment of Mythal in his pursuit of tearing down the Veil, to steal her power from her. It's no longer just about the debt he feels he owes to her for leaving her to fight the Evanuris alone (i.e. leaving her to die), it's the fact that his words of wisdom were not heeded, and as a manifestation of Pride, he cannot tolerate that. It's the fact that he left to start a rebellion, and it got Mythal killed because he wasn't there when she needed his help. His Pride has convinced him that it would've made a difference, when by all accounts he was outnumbered and not powerful enough to fight them all anyway. All of these mistakes and regrets are deeply humbling. So of course he's desperate. Pride will stop at nothing to prove its purpose, like Elgar'nan's Tyranny will not stop until he achieves godhood.

To a point though, it's kind of Mythal's fault that Solas/Fen'harel happened in the first place. She shouldn't have twisted him from his purpose and used him as a weapon, she shouldn't have kept him loyal to her so she could keep the fight against the Evanuris by manipulating and branding him as her lap-dog. She shouldn't have made him forge the Wolf's Fang to kill the Titans and start the Blight. But also--she was Benevolence, who became Retribution, and that meant that she also needed to prove her purpose. Solas/Fen'harel is the collateral damage of that.

It is only by appealing to his true purpose (Wisdom), that Solas has a chance to be redeemed. The Inquisitor is the one who brings the statuette to Rook's attention. The Inquisitor is one half of the key that brings humility to Pride, to make him see that there is Wisdom in humility too, that he still has that good in him, that he is loved and cared for despite everything. It is Mythal who is the other half of that key, as she is the one makes him understand that the shame isn't just his own, but a shared burden that he must accept a proportionate amount of blame for. Mythal is the release, and the Inquisitor is the guide for his new direction. They are foils. He says that the high approval Inquisitor is why he can see a better way forward, and a romanced Lavellan is there to remind him that he is loved, that he has a purpose beyond all he has known for thousands of years, that he is not alone in his struggle.

[mythmerth]

hello and welcome to the

mythmerth 2024 merthur fic reading wrapped 💫

I am your host mythmerth, and these are my merthur ao3 fic reading stats. when I say stats, I mean lists of numbers and histograms and pie charts and all that. like im so serious its a bunch of oddly color coded numbers that also happen to mean I read a shit ton of gay fan fiction. if that’s fun for you you’re in the right place!

Before we begin with the numbers there’s some things I want to clarify:

This is not going to be my favorite merthur fic reads of 2024 because god this is loaded enough as is. if you’re looking for my 2024 recs, go HERE !! (I will link when I have the post made!)

These stats are wholly collected and compiled by me. Whenever I read or reread a merthur fic this year, I added the word count number to my list as soon as I was finished reading. I’ve seen some ao3 wrapped generators hanging around and I’m here to say that that is NOT what I used, and in fact from what I can tell would’ve been wildly inaccurate for me; this is the sweet sweet old fashioned data collection and thus has all the pros and cons involved in that.

For my data, all numbers are rounded to the nearest whole and written in the thousands unless specified otherwise. If you see a ‘26’ in my data images, assume that means roughly 26,000. For fics at a 25,501 word count, I rounded up to 26. For fics at a 25,499 word count, I rounded down to 25. the hope is that these even out at the end!

I am so excited and I have 0 regrets. 100% of these fics are merthur fics (including a very occasional poly fic) and I have never felt more off my rocker in my life.

all that being said…

it’s time for stats.

let’s begin with the complete 2024 tally before we get into the nitty gritty.

Between January and December of 2024, I read a total of 14,489,000 words. Yes, that is 14.5 million words of merthur fan fiction.

Of those 14.5 million, ~4.6 million were from fics I reread and ~9.9 million were from novel fics (aka I’d never read them before).

I read a total of 239 fics this year (N is NOT in the thousands). Of those 239 fics, 52 were rereads and 187 were novel.

Half (~119) of the 239 fics I read were above 44k and half of them were under 44k.

The average fic length id pick up was about 60k, and the specific word count I happened to read the most often was 39k.

Funnily, the average length of the fics I reread was 88k, and the average length of all the novel fics I read was 53k, so I guess I’m inclined to reread long fics more ???

The highest <completed> word count I read this year was Sorcerer’s Bane by BeautifulFiction, clocking in at a very scrumptious 265k words.

Not depicted in the image, but the longest series I read was Footloose’s ever infamous Loaded March, giving a hearty 1.26 million words to my count this year.

Now for the fun part…. monthly specifics…

behold, the gay merthur donut

did someone say pie chart?? too bad, you get a donut. also hello to my pfp.

From my monthly counts, May was my lowest at 732k words read and August was my highest with a very normal and regular 1.8 million words. read. in August. 1.8 million.

(once I saw those stats i wondered if I’d really gone berserk cause… what the hell was I on. is this normal? I don’t know what’s normal anymore)

I read an average of 1.2 million words per month, so I hover right around there with some exceptions (looking at you July and August. and May.)

This is a look into how I break down the months

Each novel read is noted with the right skew within the cell, and each reread is noted with a left skew. So for January, I had 7 rereads. Then I add them up and do general stats when the month is over: I read 20 fics in January that averaged at 65k each, for a total count of 1.3 million words.

Sometimes I’d mark fics in other ways to keep track of them, I did this with certain series and also to denote if a fic was unfinished. In August, I’d picked up Loaded March again and you can see those in blue. I also read Accidentally my Companion which is an unfinished work by Nakyrah, shown in green in the image (this is also the longest fic I read this year if you count ongoing, it’s at 276k as of now so check it out tehe)

I messed around with some histograms too~

While this is set up as a ‘histogram’, this is actually all 239 fics I recorded one by one laid out as a chaotic strip of lines. Each line is a fic, the height denotes word count. I have a pretty typical rhythm; read short fics between the super long ones, nothing too insane other than that diabolical spree of reading long fics I went on at the beginning of the year. I was about to get my bachelors alright? I was doing anything. my average word count in February was 114k okay I couldn’t be trusted. clearly, cause the first thing I did with my degree was make a fan fiction stat chart

Now this is a proper histogram: each bar represents a word count category and the height is how many in the category I read. As you can see, I’m very inclined to read the 23k-63k category. There’s also a spike at ~115k and I think that’s a bit funny. like why that set specifically? they Speak To Me

Speaking of fics I’m drawn to. You’re probably thinking, ‘the numbers are cool and all, but of those 14 million words of godforsaken merthur fics, what ratings did you read the most?’ I’m so glad you asked!

I read the MOST godforsaken ones.

I have no charts for this because I painstakingly went through all of my bookmarked fics from 2024 and tallied their ratings on paper to the best of my ability.

Out of the 187 novel fics I read (I don’t re-bookmark rereads so if I’d thought of this category sooner I would’ve been MUCH better off but I didn’t and now we’re here)

131 of them were Explicit (70%)

39 of them were Mature (21%)

13 of them were Teen (7%)

4 of them were General (2%)

And I guarantee the rereads look almost identical to this, if not more explicit. something about merlin and arthur and their explicit antics heal me; it’s always the filthiest I start reading when I’m feeling my lowest. I eat that shit UP. So if you’ve come to my page looking for Teen rated fics I fear this may Not Be The Place For You. I’ve read quite a number of very good T and G fics!!! I just. the mature ratings. they call me.

and lastly, I’d like to post my scrappy 2023 stats cause the year difference is. kinda funny

they consumed me body and soul and I haven’t looked back once.

and that does it for this years mythmerth merthur ao3 wrapped!

I hope you enjoyed this breakdown as much as I enjoyed all the reading and data collection I did this year!!

Again, if you’re looking for my 2024 recs I’ll have them linked here as soon as I create the post <3

If you have any inquiries or questions or comments on what my merthur 2025 wrapped should include pls let me know I’m just having a good time with this, what did you think? what should I do next?

[brooklynisher]

Alright, I'll post it here. Please be nice, it's my first published writing on here :}

CW for emotional distress, yelling, and animal abuse

Green Light

The Spine has been called on by Peter Walter to participate in a few tests, but The Spine can’t help but feel that there’s something very wrong about these tests.

The Spine stood still counting the number of wires in the room. He counted the wires, then the flasks, then the ratio of flasks, empty to full to partially full. He would read the paper. Making sure to read each and every word carefully and slowly. Refusing to continue until he understood every last bit of what he just read. This is how he spends his free time. It’s not like he has much else to do. Aside from the fact that he and all of the other robots haven’t been around for more than a few months, there’s also a lot he’s simply not allowed to do. But as much as he hates being unable to do anything he wants, he has developed some essential skills considerably faster than the others.

When he learned how to read, that’s all he really did, though he limited himself to the newspapers. He was pretty caught up in current events as a result. Counting, fractioning, identifying things around the room, while being relatively simple tasks to most adults, was a huge learning experience for the titanium robot. Anything he can do to be just a bit smarter was propitious. 

Peter Walter walks in with a strange expression on his face. The Spine can’t tell if he’s angry, passionate, if his feelings are strong or dull, he simply can’t tell. He feels it’s a failure in his ability to identify facial expressions.

“The Spine,” Peter starts.

“Yes sir?” The Spine straightens his posture.

“I need you to come with me.”

He makes a small gesture urging The Spine to follow him. The Spine spine responds with a simple, “Yes sir.” before taking his inventor’s lead. He tries to make sure any anxiety doesn’t show. He’s a robot after all. He’s not supposed to be feeling things like anxiety. Yet he can’t help but feel slightly anxious every time Peter calls on him to do something he doesn’t know anything about. They arrived in a small concrete room. It’s mostly empty with the exception of an oddly colorful board hanging high up on the wall. The board contains the names of each Walter automaton followed by 5 red lightbulbs. A few of the bulbs for each robot are green, but none are out of order. Peter orders The Spine to stay put before leaving the room. The Spine tries to make observations while he waits.

“Rabbit… 3 green lights… 2 red… Zer0… 5 green lights… 0 red… Hatchworth-”

Peter Walter has returned. The Spine straightens his posture once again. Peter seems to be pulling a large wagon of some kind. The contents inside the wagon are covered with a beige tarp. Peter approaches The Spine.

“The Spine,” Peter starts.

“Yes sir?”

“Take my wrist.”

He pulls up his sleeve. The Spine notices that Peter’s wrist seems to be oddly beat up. He’s not sure what this could mean, but he must obey orders. He grips his wrist as gently as possible trying not to harm him.

“Squeeze it,” Peter commands.

Squeeze it? But The Spine is made out of metal. Peter is made out of flesh. The Spine doesn’t have sensory receptors. Peter does. For all he knows, he already has a tight grip around Peter’s wrist. What if he hurts him? What would he do? But The Spine has learned that obedience is better than defiance. Even if it’s at the risk of causing more issues. He squeezes his wrist.

“AUGH!”

Peter pulls his hand away and turns his back towards The Spine. The Spine is instantly filled with regret, grabbing his own hand as if to keep it under control. He canes his neck just enough to see the damage he has caused. Peter’s hand is limp. Oh god.

“Pe- Mister Walter! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean- I- I was just-” He tries to apologize, but the words struggle to escape him. He’s not even allowed to apologize. If he apologizes, then that means he made a mistake. And mistakes are a no-go here.

“Stop your stammering!” Peter hisses at him.

The Spine only hangs his head low. Ready to endure whatever it is that he deserves. Peter takes a big shaky breath in.

“You’re… you’re fine… This is good. You’re very strong. Maybe even the strongest automaton I’ve built yet… I could do without the apologizing and the stuttering.”

What? Good? He just broke his inventor’s wrist! Of all the mistakes The Spine made in his short lifespan, how was THIS the one that Peter excuses? Hell, he seems more angry about him apologizing and stuttering than he is about him breaking his wrist. What kind of twisted logic is that? Does he want The Spine to hurt him? But those are questions for later. The least The Spine can do right now is be considerate. He waits for a couple of moments to gather his thoughts before speaking.

“Sir, will your wrist be alright?”

“The depths of science in which I have delved are unlike any other. If I can build such a great number of automatons in such a short period using a substance I alone have discovered, then surely I can heal a broken wrist.”

He takes a controller out of his pocket with his good hand and pushes a button. One of the lights next to The Spine’s name turns green. He then turns to the wagon and pulls off one of the tarps, unveiling a dummy. He drags it out of the wagon and places it down on the ground using one arm. The Spine feels bad leaving him to struggle on his own like this, but he didn’t ask for help, so it’s best he just leaves it to him.

“Alright The Spine. Hit it.”

“... Anywhere?”

“As hard as you can.”

The Spine nods and faces the dummy. He can’t necessarily hit “hard” as he doesn’t have muscle but he can hit fast. So he curls his hand up into a fist and punches the dummy in the head as the humans do in news stories at full speed. The body is pushed back, head flying off. The head slams into the wall creating a small shockwave of dust. The Spine flinches. Peter side-eyes him but doesn’t say anything. He hits another button, and another bulb by his name goes green. He moves back to the wagon unveiling another dummy. He drags it to the center and looks straight towards The Spine.

“Activate voice protocol. The Spine,”

The Spine nods involuntarily.

“Activate blue matter ray projector arrays.”

And just like so, The Spine’s arm shifts into an intense-looking weapon. This throws The Spine off guard, but he keeps quiet.

“The Spine, I’d like you to shoot that dummy.”

The Spine looks at the dummy, then back at his hand.

“... How… How do I do that sir?” The Spine asks unaware he even had this feature installed.

“You’re going to have to figure it out on your own. Just as you will in order to disable it.”

The Spine looks back up at the dummy. He doesn’t understand what to do but still points his arm in its direction. He tries to move each part of his arm as if it were normal, and to his surprise, he is successful. The blue matter ray charged up. He aimed it toward the chest of the dummy feeling slightly uneasy. Something about this feels wrong, but he shoots. Before the beam hit, Peter managed to open up an umbrella, shielding himself from the bright red substance that now covers the room. The Spine’s body becomes a mess of red. He opens his mouth, but no words come out. What… What was that? While The Spine was still trying to process what had just happened, he didn’t notice Peter’s glare.

“Relax yourself.”

The Spine closes his mouth, straightens his posture, and tries to rest his shoulders and eyes. However, he finds that he is struggling to calm down. He doesn’t know why he feels so distressed, but something about that didn’t sit right with him. The third light next to his name turns green as Peter hits the button. He pulls out one more dummy, which makes The Spine feel nervous. 

“Activate voice protocol. The Spine, activate chainsaw.”

His other arm switches into a chainsaw, alarming him quite a bit. He tries to disable his other arm so that he has a free hand. As he does this, Peter simply stands against a wall and watches. He doesn’t say anything. The Spine looks back at him, hoping he tells him to do something different, but Peter only observes. It’s obvious what he wants him to do. The Spine turned back to the dummy.

“It’s probably just ink…” He thinks to himself still feeling uneasy. He preps his chainsaw and turns it on. The vibrations it produces are undeniably strong. It was almost as if he could feel it. He closes his eyes and slashes the chainsaw through the dummy. His eyes reopened to the sound of screaming. It’s even messier than before. He pulls his chainsaw back staring at the brutalized dummy now dyed red. Did it scream? Was it alive? He doesn’t move. His chainsaw slows to a full stop. What did he do? Another light turned green, he’s now down to his last light before all five of them turn green.

“Are you ready for your final test?” Peter asks.

Is that what they were? Not that it mattered what they were. The Spine was not ready. If anything he was afraid. He was afraid of what came next. He was afraid of Peter Walter. So of course, he nodded. Peter unveils the final hidden object in the wagon as The Spine deactivates his chainsaw. The final hidden object is none other than a crate. A crate… He opens the crate and pulls out a dog…

“No.” The Spine accidentally says out loud. He looks away, trying to hide his face.

“I’ll let you use any method you’d like.”

“No.” Though it was stupid before, it’s almost as though he can’t control himself. He knows what’s going to happen. He’s not going to follow through with this. Peter doesn’t say anything for a second. He then starts to speak.

“You know… there’s a reason why I’m not with the others right now.”

The Spine doesn’t respond.

“The others are sweet robots. And lighthearted ones at that. But they’ve always been a little bit… zany. Compared to you at least.”

The Spine grimaces.

“The only reason why I’m so ‘normal’ compared to the others is because you forced me to be! If I had it my way, I’d be just as wacky as the others, if not a bit more mature.” He wanted to say. But he knew arguing wouldn’t do him any good. Especially in a situation like this where that’s not the problem. So as much as he wanted to fight Peter on this, the best he could do for himself was bite his tongue.

“Such wild and eccentric personalities… They’d never want to hurt a soul… but that doesn’t mean they won’t.”

By now, four of the six main automatons have already achieved all five lights. That leaves one other who has yet to complete the test.

“And I’ll admit, it was partially my fault. My idea of the perfect robot would’ve never led up to this moment, yet it has. So for the sake of humanity, I’m going to need you to let go of some of what I had taught you. Obedience is key. Listen to me The Spine.”

The Spine slouches a little shaking his head.

“I can’t.”

“You have to.”

“But I can’t.”

“The Spine-”

“It’s a living creature! I can’t make myself do it…” The Spine then makes the mistake of looking at the puppy. It yawns a big yawn before lying down. His resistance grows stronger. How is he supposed to kill this thing?

“Kill the dog The Spine.”

“Why don’t you just make me kill the dog? Won’t that be easier? It’s not like you don’t have the power to.” His response comes out much more disrespectful than he meant it to, but it seems like there’s no stopping himself at this point. Peter’s eyes widen.

“You’re going to kill the dog whether you want to or not.”

“That’s how it’s always been, hasn’t it? You’re asking me to do things on my own accord but not unless you allow me to. What kind of sense does that make?” It was unlike The Spine to talk back so much. Even during moments where he was defiant, he’s never been this much of a brat about it.

“Spine-”

“You want me to kill Rabbit next? Make me kill your favorite robot just so you can yell at me for it afterward?” At this point, The Spine’s retorts became less relevant. Peter is getting fed up with his behavior. His patience now gone.

“DO YOU WANT THE BECILES TO WIN OR NOT?” Peter yells. This is enough to get The Spine to quiet down. He’s not sure if he knows what he means.

“WE ARE ON THE BRINK OF WAR. BECILE HAS GONE MAD AND IF HE WINS THIS COULD DETERMINE MORE THAN THE FATE OF SCIENCE. IT COULD DETERMINE THE FATE OF OUR STATE. IT CAN DETERMINE THE FATE OF THE WORLD. A SCIENTIST AS CRAZY AS HIM SHOULD NOT HAVE ACCESS TO SUCH INTENSE TECHNOLOGY AND SUCH INTENSE POWER. DO YOU WANT HIM TO GET AWAY WITH THAT?”

The Spine only looks down at the ground out of guilt. He’s not quite sure what Peter is talking about, but he knows he’s blaming him for… something. At least, that’s what it feels like. He pauses for a few seconds before finally saying something.

“I’m sorry Mister Walter… but… I can’t help it that I’m… I’m an individual… and I can’t… I can’t kill an innocent creature. I just can’t… I don’t want the Beciles to win, but I’m just not capable of this sort of thing. I’m sorry…”

Peter is about to respond when he hears a small yelp from the other room. The Jon’s 5th light has turned green. He looks back down at The Spine, but he doesn’t say anything. Even so, The Spine knows what he would say. When it comes to animals, The Jon was always the best with them. Something about his presence would just attract animals stronger than any bait. He loves animals, and the animals love him. It could not have been an easy assignment for him to kill a creature of any kind. Especially one as innocent and as sweet as a puppy. Yet he still had the guts to kill it. The Spine’s relationship with animals was minimal, yet he refused to kill one just because he didn’t want to. He knew this made him weak, but it didn’t change his stance. He simply hangs his head low out of shame.

Peter notices that he’s still reluctant to complete the task, so he turns to his last resort. He sighs as he lights a match. The Spine hears this and looks up at him. His eyes widened in terror. He’s heard horror stories about being burned alive. He knows what he’s going to do.

“Don’t. Please Mister Walter don’t hurt it-”

The Spine continues to beg Peter to leave the puppy alone, but ultimately he ignores him. Soon enough, the small animal begins screeching and yelping in pain. The sounds were enough to drive The Spine over the edge. He pulls out his blue matter ray and shoots the poor thing down as quickly as possible. The Spine can feel an intense amount of steam leaving his body, yet his body still feels unbearably hot. It’s as if the steam from his body wasn’t releasing fast enough. That was the last thing The Spine wanted to do, but he really didn’t have another choice. There was nothing he could’ve reliably used to put out the flames and even if he did find something, he wouldn’t know how to heal the small pup. It would only die slower. The only thing he could do was speed up the process.

Peter places a hand on his shoulder. The Spine stiffens. He’s using every last atom in his metal body to resist the urge to tear his inventor apart.

“Why did you kill it?” Peter asks.

“I- You set it on fire! It was suffering! It was in pain! I couldn’t just let it die such a terrible fate like that…”

“Mm..” Peter nods.

“The Spine, there’s something you need to understand.”

The Spine only looks at him.

“In war, everyone is always suffering.”

“...”

“Now, come with me. It’s clear to me that you need some serious repairs.”

The final red light turns green.

[3rdsday]

Broken Vows and Mended Trust

Sonic 3 spoilers ahead!

Summary: Things are settling after the events of the third movie, and Sonic and Knuckles need to have a conversation about Sonic's broken vow.

Note: Hi I did NOT expect to write this tonight it just had to come out and I did 0 editing on this whatsoever but here it is. I will be going to bed immediately after posting this <3

Read on AO3 here

---

Sonic clutched his left arm in his right hand, rubbing it. He wouldn't meet Knuckles' eyes, instead studying the forest floor.

It had been a few days, and everything had finally started to settle following the... Eclipse Canon incident. Tom had finally woken up and would be okay, so a layer of tension that had been blanketing the rest of the Wachowskis had fallen away.

For Sonic, its place was taken by Knuckles' request that they have a discussion.

Knuckles was typically an echidna of few words. He preferred to make his point made physically when possible. So a request for a discussion, especially a serious one, immediately put Sonic on edge.

He was certain he knew what it would be about, and it only took a few words from Knuckles to prove that his intuition was correct.

"You broke our vow."

Sonic knew it was coming, but he still flinched. It wasn't even Knuckles' tone that caused it; the words weren't harsh or accusatory. Rather, the sentence was spoken simply, a pure fact.

Sonic just hated that it was true.

"I know, Knuckles, I am so sorry-"

"Wait!" Knuckles cut him off, raising a gloved hand. "I am not finished."

Sonic's mouth snapped shut, his stomach churning as he awaited Knuckles' next words.

"After our fight against Robotnik last year, I chose to trust you and the fox to share the duty of protecting the Emerald. Yet you were willing to compromise the Emerald's safety for the sake of seeking revenge."

"I was wrong," Sonic couldn't help but say. He wanted to wait until Knuckles was finished, but he couldn't help it. He had to know how terrible Sonic felt. How much he regretted it.

"You broke my trust, and in doing so, you could have risked the safety of the entire planet."

Sonic's shoulders hunched in as he instinctively tried to make himself smaller. All the guilt he was already feeling was increasing tenfold with each word out of Knuckles' mouth.

"Yet, I chose not to stop you."

...That made Sonic pause, blinking as he took in the words. "You didn't," he said slowly. "You let me go. ...Why? You could have won that fight."

Knuckles sighed and sat down on a felled tree trunk, motioning for Sonic to join him. After a moment that felt like it was teetering on the point of something, waiting to fall to one side or the other, Sonic joined him.

The view from their perch was beautiful. They were on a cliffside, overlooking Green Hills below.

"You might have broken our vow, but I still decided to trust you."

"I don't get it," Sonic insisted. "I betrayed you. Why would you still trust me after that?"

Knuckles turned his head to look at Sonic, who was still not meeting his eyes. "Because you're my friend, and my brother," he explained, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Family was a concept that took Knuckles a little bit to truly understand, having lost his so young. It wasn't something that came naturally to Sonic or Tails either, both of them having been alone from an early age as well. But over the past year, the three of them had settled comfortably into their newfound roles as brothers. Sonic reveled in it, taking great joy and delight in his family. Tails was a little more tentative about it, hesitant to open himself up to familial affection when it had burned him in the past, but he had become a delightful little ball of chaos once he fell into his place in their dynamic.

Knuckles, though, once the concept had clicked in his mind, had taken up his role of eldest brother with an unrivaled enthusiasm.

Being Sonic and Tails' older brother was as important to Knuckles as guarding the Master Emerald was. Keeping his younger brothers safe and happy was a job he treated with the utmost importance, even if he was willing to tease and annoy them as he did so.

Sonic had forgotten that, somehow.

"I didn't know what would happen if you took the Emerald," Knuckles continued, not acknowledging the way Sonic finally met his gaze, or the way his eyes shone in a misty way. "I feared it would lead to catastrophe. But I knew what fighting you would lead to: both of us hurt. And I never want to hurt you.

"So I decided to trust you. Trust that, if nothing else, you could keep yourself safe while you took the Emerald long enough for Tails and I to back you up. And trust that you'd realize what a mistake you were making."

Sonic swallowed hard, fighting the lump in his throat. "I don't deserve that trust from you."

Knuckles hummed. "Maybe not. And I am still hurt by you violating our oath." He placed a hand on Sonic's shoulder with a gentleness not usually associated with the echidna. "But even if it takes some time for you to regain my full trust, I still forgive you."

Knuckles' eyes were filled with such intense genuineness that Sonic couldn't bear to look at it anymore. He turned his head away, staring out into the distance again as he shrugged Knuckles' hand off his shoulder, letting it fall away. A moment, then another, passed before he spoke again. "How can you forgive me so easily?" he asked, voice wavering.

"You forgave me for siding with Robotnik, did you not?"

Sonic let out a small chuckle that he didn't fully feel. "Yeah, I did."

"We all make mistakes, hedgehog," Knuckles insisted, "You regret yours. That's all I need to know."

Silence fell over the duo. Birdsong filled the mid-afternoon air. A chilly breeze, heralding the approach of winter, cut through the trees, although it was not quite harsh enough to be felt through the thick fur of the brothers. Despite the chirping and chittering of the small forest creatures, a calm silence seemed to settle over the scene in the woods. For just a moment, time was suspended, as two young boys, who normally stopped for nothing, took time to sit in the world around them.

But the spell did not last forever. Sonic found the courage to speak again, finally trusting that his voice would stay steady when he did.

"You shouldn't trust me with the Master Emerald again." Despite his efforts, his voice still came out small and hesitant.

Knuckles frowned, although Sonic wasn't looking to see it. "Why not?"

"I've proven that I can't be trusted to resist the temptation to use it," Sonic explained. It felt like he was stabbing himself in the chest at the admittance, but he knew it was true. "You should keep it safe from me, hide it somewhere secure. More secure than Wade."

Knuckles hummed again, taking a second to consider Sonic's plea before shaking his head. "No, I don't think I should."

"What do you mean? If I hadn't-"

"If you hadn't used the Emerald, you wouldn't have been able to share that power with Shadow. And if you hadn't done that, Shadow wouldn't have been able to help save Earth. Therefore, you taking the Emerald was the best possible outcome."

Sonic's head snapped to the side quickly to let him look at Knuckles. He didn't make any attempt to hide the surprise on his face.

"I- what- but-"

"Maybe you took the Emerald for the wrong reasons, but it worked out the way it needed to in the end. So I am glad that I trusted you," Knuckles said, giving Sonic a small smile.

"But- but it all could have gone so wrong!"

"But did it?"

"I- well, no, but-"

"Then there's no reason to worry about it, is there?"

Sonic's mouth hung open as he stammered a bit more, trying to find the words to counter Knuckles. When he couldn't form a reasonable argument, he sighed and let himself slump over slightly.

"I still don't think I should be allowed to consider myself a 'guardian' anymore," he muttered, bitterness leaking into his tone.

"What?" Knuckles exclaimed, a small bit of outrage entering his tone for the first time during the discussion. "You would abandon your duties?"

"I already broke the oath. I don't deserve to have them as my 'duties' anymore."

"Sonic," Knuckles said seriously, intensely. "There is no one else in all the worlds that I would rather have help me guard the Emerald than you and Tails. Your mistake does not change that."

"But how do you know you can trust me?!" Sonic insisted, feeling almost hysterical. He had gone into this conversation expecting Knuckles' anger and hurt, but instead he was insisting that Sonic still share the duties of guardian? How could that bethe case?"

"I don't need to know for certain. I just know that trusting you has never failed me yet, even if there has been some rough parts to get through."

Sonic's eyes darted between Knuckles', searching for any hint of a lack of sincerity or the trust he claimed to have. When he found nothing but the unwavering loyalty he'd come to know from Knuckles, he hung his head.

"I don't deserve your trust."

"Then do better. Work harder to earn it." Knuckles returned his hand to Sonic's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Fight to be better than you were yesterday. I know you can."

Sonic leaned into Knuckles' touch until he was essentially slumped against him. Knuckles wrapped his arm around Sonic's shoulders, careful not to get pricked on his sharp quills.

The two of them remained there for what might have been two minutes or two hours, pressed together in their half-side hug.

If a few tears slipped down Sonic's cheeks, nobody had to know.

Eventually, Knuckles pulled away and stood up from the tree trunk, stretching dramatically. "I don't know about you, hedgehog, but I'm ready to eat. Race back to the House of Wachowski?"

Sonic stood up to join him, giving a small but appreciative smile as he tried to fall back into his usual energy. He didn't quite make it all the way, but he was closer than he'd been in days. "Oh, you're on. Don't get too sad when you lose."

"Only if you don't get too humiliated when you are utterly defeated!"

With those words, the brothers disappeared into bright streaks of color, speeding off towards a better, trusting future, and leaving the weight of their emotional talk behind.

[lxmelle]

Just some thoughts about satosugu and how they both interpreted their separation.

It’s highly likely that Geto didn’t realise how important he was to Gojo. I made a blurb on Twitter/X about how I feel that Geto wasn’t a reliable narrator in that sense, but I feel the need to expand on it a bit more.

We now know that they both felt like they’d been left behind. I’ve talked about it before, and it seems evident that they left a wound the shape of each other in one another when they separated.

We know Geto’s intentions with leaving Gojo behind. The kind, polite, gentle Geto who always treated Gojo lovingly - pushed him away to a point where he thought he was unforgivable - thinking they were ex-best friends in his conversation with MimiNana. He shot him down in a way he never did before - “how arrogant,” he said - asking him of his identity, to think about his purpose and cautioning him not to be used. Turning away before Gojo could protest, to convey they were going on separate paths - a “do not follow me”. He gave him his blessing to kill him - showing that he understood there would be meaning in it. The recent JJK exhibition showed that Geto was drafted by Gege in the KFC breakup scene to convey that he thought it would be ok if he was killed by Gojo’s hand. Adding that Gojo should be careful not to kill anyone else but him.

The two presenting interpretations are - 1) just try to kill me alone amongst all these ppl with your overwhelming strength; or, it could also mean, 2) make sure you stay on your path until you decide what you wield your power for (although Geto already decided for Gojo who mustn’t follow him).

For 1) Geto supposedly hated monkeys, so Gojo unleashing his power shouldn’t be a bad thing. But that would be a bad thing because then Gojo would be another curse user like him who killed innocent people. So this demonstrates that Geto had Gojo’s self-interest in mind.

For 2) Geto turned away and gave Gojo a final lesson - to wield his power for the greater good and to not kill like he did. Don’t be a monster like him and he gave Gojo is permission to kill him. It wouldn’t be bad to die by his hand. That Gojo shouldn’t kill anyone unless they were at least as evil as he. Again, this demonstrates Geto having Gojo’s interests at heart.

Thus Geto foreshadowed his fate when he said to Gojo that it would bring meaning to kill him - Gojo was the only one whom he would let stop him. The light novel insinuated that Gojo had to be the one to carry the curse that was Geto Suguru too.

Gojo seemed to understand what Geto meant and decided for himself not to kill him then and there. And not for 10 years. As a reader we know he could’ve. But what did Geto understand and take from it all? Was he a reliable narrator?

Geto was surprised at the end of jjk 0 - that Gojo still had trust for him. The way he phrased it in the original Japanese seemed rather self-deprecating. It goes along the lines of, “to think you still have that (trust) for the likes of me.” And how can we forget the impact of Gojo’s last words... Geto was humbled by it and I HC he was careful all the way not to curse Gojo. So he said, “At least curse me a little at the end.” - as if to say, instead of the love you’re giving me, I know I deserve to be cursed for hurting you. I’m sorry.

So we can kind of see that Geto did not perceive himself as loved as he actually was by Gojo. He looked regretful here as he reflected on their friendship as aforementioned with MiniNana:

Gojo understood that he shouldn’t follow Geto, but we now know he actually felt left behind. In fact they both felt left behind by the other. And they both wanted to catch up. One was early and one was late... curse and blessing, absorb and repel, etc. I think we all are familiar with certain themes by now.

Gojo respected Geto’s need to walk separately and protected his love and desire to keep Gojo on that path. He allowed it. He could have taken the words of make sure you “kill only me” as a reason not to fire into the crowd, or he could’ve applied it to all humans, because this was what Geto also taught him earlier on.

But we know Gojo had the power to just grab and kill Geto on his own, ambush him at any time in the 10 years, and so also just plainly not regard those rules. In fact in jjk 0 Gojo talked about siding with Okkutsu with the higher-ups because he wanted to allow overwhelming power to be understood. His risk to make. So, from Gojo’s point of view that Geto might not be aware of, he took those risks upon his shoulders as the strongest and the executioner of the school, and let people like Yuta and Geto and later, Yuji, live. So just like in Shibuya, we also know that Gojo actually will take calculated risks and make sacrifices. If there is meaning. He determines it himself.

This being me to this point:

Kenjaku had access to Geto’s memories and from there, he devised his plan in further detail to trap Gojo to seal him in the prison realm. But he only knew what Geto knew.

He wasn’t wrong that Gojo fought best alone. We don’t know if he could’ve learnt to fight with someone alongside him, but perhaps after Toji, he didn’t see the need to, and preferred to “risk himself” seeing as he could be invulnerable with limitless, and he would be free to go all out with his destructive power.

Here we see him infer that Gojo would be deterred by the presence of humans - the possibility that there would be casualties. He is also not wrong, but we can see that this was based on Geto’s assumption - that he was in the way. He believed he was in the way. We don’t know why Gege scrapped the draft, but that was Geto’s intentions: to keep Gojo righteous. Not to follow him.

He was willing to damn himself in his friend’s memory so he wouldn’t be dragged into hell too. We can imagine that he felt left behind by Gojo in strength especially since Gojo also pointed it out in their exchange. He thought he wouldn’t be treasured in his friend’s memory, although he treasured Gojo (wearing the Gojo-kesa and also his views on loyalty through calling Yuta a “womaniser”). So I think he felt like he would be easily discarded by Gojo once he left and hypocritically pointed him in the other way, especially when Gojo let Geto decide for them both him just a year ago, and didn’t kill the people clapping at the hideout.

Someone pointed out that Gojo’s love was “I’ll go wherever with you and hold on forever” and Geto’s love was “I’ll let you go, and it’ll hurt but at least you’ll be safe.”

Sigh.

Whatever it was, he believed Gojo spared him because there were people present when he walked into the crowd. Stalling for time allowed him to get away.

Not believing that Gojo was conflicted and wanted Geto to live … or “come back home” like his character song given by Gege. He did the same thing in jjk 0 when he cautioned Gojo not to approach him because his students were “in his range”. So he must’ve believed it was a deterrent for Gojo.

Geto did not know how Gojo took the breakup scene or how he interpreted his words of parting.

To him, and to Kenjaku, the tactic of stalling for time allowed Geto to walk free. Human lives could be used against Gojo. In the 10 years, maybe Geto thought he was useful in getting rid of curses, etc. so he was left to his own devices. Gojo never came to execute him. We don’t fully know, but we got a glimpse of what Geto assumed - their friendship was but a precious memory and there was no trust from Gojo left. And though Geto heard Gojo’s confession at the end of his life, he was never to know that Gojo’s love actually ran that deep - because he was also surprised at the airport scene.

He did not know that Gojo felt left behind. In fact, the readers only found out a recently in chapter 261.

Gojo thought about what Geto positioned him with (who are you, the strongest, for?) and concluded that being strong wasn’t enough. He couldn’t save Geto who did not want to be saved. Did not want to be helped. Did not want his help, despite being the strongest. Gojo was not taken along. Wasn’t allowed to become a monster too. Geto would not use him. He could have all the strength but also not achieve or have what he really wanted. He was left behind. He could not catch up.

And then this from much earlier on has come to make even more sense:

That Gojo was trying to turn his grief into something that could bring him meaning and keep/respect his friend’s wishes alive in his life.

And by trying to retain Gojo’s righteousness, Geto had made himself all alone. Geto felt the need to go all by himself (much like their disagreement in HI “you lonely? Go by yourself.” “I hate righteousness - it’s for the weak.”) and cut everything off, including his parents and sorcerer family.

I don’t think Gojo particularly wanted to be left behind. He just… tended to listen to Geto’s wishes. Even Yaga questioned him, I previously thought he was asking why didn’t he chase to kill him as ordered, but some are debating this, saying it was more “why didn’t you chase after him?” (Why don’t you go with?) And Gojo replies, “Didn’t you hear?” (I’d been left behind). Who knows.

He came to believe that love was the most twisted curse.

Why?

Because love led Geto to do what he did and defect.

Because love made Geto turn away and not to bring him to hell.

Because love led Gojo to honour his friend’s wishes even if it pained him.

Love led them to love each other from afar.

Love was a curse that hurt each other and themselves…

…because they do it all out of love for the other, beyond the love for themselves.

Nevertheless: They were now both alone.

Over the years they tried to change that, being surrounded by others, family and students - but they had an empty seat with each others’ name on it. And they had ended up not being alone - just lonely.

He probably knew Gojo could have chased after him to kill him, but his main interpretation seemed to be what Kenjaku believed - he clung onto the principles of “protecting humans” first and foremost. Gojo ended up doing the 1% of his predictions and opened his domain in a calculated risk.

Interestingly Gojo asking Ichiji about the humans subjected by UV (before the fight to his death with Sukuna) reflects the side he lived protecting,

and Geto asking about his sorcerer family before his death to Gojo reflects the side he lived to protect.

The whole “counterpart” theme runs so deep: early & late, curse & blessing, absorb & repel, yin & yang, black & white... even down to the part where Gojo asked about the humans before his fight with Sukuna and Geto asking about his sorcerer family before his death. It demonstrated who they lived to protect and how one needed the other to survive (without humans = no curses = no need for sorcery).

Geto just was never really aware of how much Gojo loved him, perhaps because Gojo only realised it after he left. That love led them both to keep doing what they did.

That love was indeed a twisted curse. Because they loved the other so much that they’d sacrifice themselves - the very object of the others’ affection, hurting one another as a result of it. To love the other was to curse themselves... which then cursed the other.

In this twisted world...

Gojo was the only one who could save Geto and Geto was the only one who could save Gojo.

There would be meaning to it. Gojo was at Geto’s end.

Will we meet again? - the lyrics of the song goes. Geto met Gojo at the airport at his end.

Geto showed Gojo love and compassion - saving his soul.

Gojo showed Geto pure and unwavering love - saving his soul.

I’ve blabbed enough now... thanks for making it until the end.