#and have characters say exactly what they mean in no uncertain terms

[kissingwookiees]

'the problem with a lot of game writing today is that characters don't talk like real people' 100% agree with this sentiment but also thats most writing in general right now

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Man 9

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Lloyd Hansen

Summary: a demanding customer complicates more than your work life.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

“Mr. Hansen,” you eke out as you pad after Lloyd. 

“Did I tell you to speak?” He grumbles. 

You walk with an arm across your chest and your other hand hiding your vee, “no, but I forgot my phone in the car--” 

“You don’t need it,” he tosses over his shoulder as he leads you to the staircase, the steps wide and polished. 

“Hm, guess I wouldn’t have pockets for it anyhow,” you comment as you follow him up, uncertain what else to do. 

He growls and says nothing else. You see the tension in his shoulders and clutching in his hand, balling and unballing at his side. He tilts his head slightly as if talking to himself, gesturing slightly in his unspoken monologue. He seems stressed. You might be too if you had a hostage. Hostage may be a generous term; you’re not worth much of a bargain. 

He pushes through a door so hard it nearly thwacks the wall behind it, stopped only by the resistance of the hinges. You stop in the doorway as he crosses the spacious office and nears the sleek glass top desk. You take in the decor, all of it shiny and modern. He’s got a good eye. Or hired somebody with one. 

He sits in the white leather chair and puffs, his feet set wide as he scowls. His arms drape over your sides and he narrows his sights at you. You try to make yourself smaller as your nakedness sets you on fire. 

“What the hell are you waiting for?” He snarls. 

You smile sheepishly and step inside slowly, “er, I’m wondering that too--” 

“Get over here,” he points between his knees. 

“Oh, okay,” you giggle nervously and cross to the desk, coming around stand beside him. 

“What the hell are you doing? Get underneath,” he flicks your arm and you wince with a hiss. “Gotta train that mouth right so let’s get going.” 

You furrow your brow and the corners of your mouth tug down. He’s so gross. He lifts his chin and stares up at your defiantly. 

“Got something to say, cause what I want you to do with that mouth has nothing to do with chatting, sweet lips,” he reaches up and drags a finger across your lips and pokes between them.

You turn away, swatting him as you back up.

“Hey,” snaps and points in your face, “watch yourself. The hard my dick gets, the thinner my patience.” 

You curl your lip and repress a shudder. You can still taste him. Gross. He didn’t even let you wash your mouth out. 

You reluctantly back up and tread around the other side of the desk. He leans back and undoes his fly. You hold your breath as you try to repress every comment that flits across your mind. It will all be easier if you just be quiet. Just get it over with. And it wasn’t that bad, the end was just a bit icky. 

You close your eyes and lower yourself with a tortured strain in your cheek. Stop thinking about it. If you don’t think and just do, then it won’t be so weird. You open your eyes to dip under the desk and crawl beneath the glass. 

He pumps himself with his hand and you grimace. You get closer, staring down his... little monster. Little... you suppose it’s a good size. I mean, he could be in one of those videos you’ve seen on the internet. And yet, some of the men you’ve seen in those aren’t exactly hunks. 

You gulp and snort through your nose. Stop. It’s not funny. It’s just weirdly flesh and the veins that stick out are distracting.  

He brings his other hand down to grab your chin and forces you closer with a growl. You nearly smack your head off the edge of the desk’s frame. 

“Laugh one more time,” he warns. 

You seal your lips as he aims his tip at your mouth. You make yourself open up and stretch around him. The sensation of his smooth, slightly ridged skin presses to your tongue, and he pushes you deeper. He hits your reflex and you twitch, letting out a gag. He holds you there and you kick your feet, clawing at his pants. 

He lets you up and shoves you back down. He drags you along his length as slobber smears around your mouth and you puff through your nose. The motion makes you dizzy and your throat burns as he forces his way in. 

Your hand drifts further up beneath his shirt and you feel the hard muscle of his stomach. A fleeting thought flickers in your mind as you spread your fingers wide across his middle. You try to slow him down but he’s relentless. 

You swirl your tongue around his tip as he eases you back and he flinches, letting out a whine. You do it again. It must feel good as his grip loosens on you. You drag your hand down and graze along a wrinkle in the top of his slack pants. He groans. 

Slowly you feel him relaxing. That’s better. The pressure in your neck lessens and you flutter your fingers along his hand. He lets go of his base and you brush along his sack. He grunts again, clutching the arms of the chair. You tickle as he squirms and grip his tightly. You’ve seen lots of videos. 

You stroke him in time with your mouth. You feel his control dissolving as you take over. For once in your life, you feel powerful. It’s like a joystick and you can make him do whatever you want. 

“Toots, hold on,” he breathes, “you’re gonna--- not again--” 

You stop and pop your lips off him abruptly. You angle your head to look at him through the desk and see how his cheek ticks and he furrows his nose. He sucks in air and holds it in. He lets out a drone. 

“Shit, you almost—almost got me,” he utters, “you gotta slow your roll, cheeks.” 

You slant your mouth and arch your brows. Suck my dick. Don’t suck my dick. Just like one minute, he hates you and the next he’s snatching you up. He’s as whimsical as a rainstorm.  

���Don’t give me that look,” he sighs and sits back again, “just--” he shows a palm, “slow. I wanna savour it, sweet lips. You should too.” 

[dubiousculturalartifact]

Obviously I’ve been queerbaited before, like, a genuinely incalculable number of times, and maybe thinking Buddie might actually go canon is a ‘fool me sixteen times, shame on me’ scenario, but I think one big thing that’s keeping my hope alive is this thought: If you genuinely believe that Buddie isn’t going to go canon, 100% zero possibility and absolutely no intention of trying... Then you also have to believe the people who create the show we’re all fans of are purposefully cruel dicks. 

Because we have SEEN what it looks like when the showrunner of 911 knows there is no possibility of it happening, has no plans of it, and is generally trying to avoid accusations of queerbaiting.

It looks like S5 & S6. Little bits here and there, the odd important scene to throw breadcrumbs… but a lot of keeping the two characters apart, being circumspect in interviews, PR shut downs on the actors, etc. The show has proven they are capable and willing to exactly that!

So indulge me, and imagine for a second. They had the conversation with the new network, and the execs told them they wanted to continue with the status quo, to write as if Buddie is never going to go canon, BUT were willing to bend so far as to make one of them queer, to keep the fans happy.

What would that look like?

I don't know, call me foolish.... But I think it would look like keeping the same dynamic from The Drought Seasons. Having them be friends and important to each other but still fairly disconnected, not having as much screen-time, etc, It would look like having Buck’s coming out arc be a SEPARATE, individual narrative. If they just wanted to write Tommy and Buck, and that's it, they could have done things differently.

There are just so many conceivable ways they could have written Buck’s coming out arc, to almost completely separate it from Eddie and have it be made clear, in no uncertain terms, that Buck is bi but that doesn’t mean he cares about Eddie like that, that Eddie is a hetero McHetero.

Buck’s coming out arc could have included him being jealous because he’s suddenly faced with Tommy in the flesh and is insecure about how he was technically ‘Tommy’s replacement’ at the 911, with Eddie not relevant to it at all, or have Maddie and Chimney be the ones to interrupt The Date, or literally any other scenario that didn’t make it all about Eddie. 

They could have had one short scene where Eddie and Buck talk about it, and then the rest would be like, Buck talking to Hen about being queer, Buck interacting just with Tommy and getting to know him, Buck doing a research binge about bisexuality and info-dumping at an inappropriate time during a call, etc etc etc.

That’s how you tell that story and only be writing it for the proverbial ‘general audience’.

But they didn't. They purposefully reversed direction. They chose for Buck’s coming out arc to... highlight his nigh-feral jealousy over Eddie forming a homosocial bond with another guy, having said guy repeat with genuine surprise and shock that it was him and not Eddie that Buck was interested in, have Eddie interrupt their date, have Buck be more worried about lying to Eddie than the fact that he’s queer at all, have Maddie say what she did to Buck about telling Eddie in specifically ambiguous terms…

In a season that also included the Fire Extinguisher Incident, and Buck saying he ‘wishes he could help’ with Eddie’s sexual frustration, and a big increase in social media engagement, and having Buck being Eddie’s rock in the last few episodes while he had a bizarrely platonic affair with his dead wife's doppleganger…

If they did that while KNOWING the plan was actually for Buck/Tommy endgame and Eddie riding off in the sunset with a hot female firefighter who has a cool motorcycle or whatever the fuck, or them both dying in a freak car-washing accident, or….

If they GENUINELY planned that? If the entire Buck jealousy plotline was intended to be nothing more than a deliberate queerbait-and-switch? Then they’re fucking assholes, sorry. They would have to know full well exactly what they were doing, how many people’s hopes and emotional investment they were toying with... If they were actually planning to keep dragging it along for seasons more of baiting and dangling things in front of us, while knowing categorically that they had no plans to deliver? That would be genuinely GOD TIER levels of specific, intentional queerbaiting.

Which could be the case! I won't deny that. Shows have done it before, plenty of times. Tim et al could be callous bastards deliberately instructing the actors to wink it up in interviews and share suggestive Tiktoks, and writing Buck’s coming out arc as being entirely focused around Eddie and throwing out hints... All while laughing behind Buddie fans' backs about our gullibility, how we’re keeping the show trending on the force of our delusions, etc. Maybe that's it! Maybe they just genuinely enjoying fucking with people. Or maybe they were just shitty enough writers that they didn't know what they were doing, and it was all a total accident, somehow, the proverbial monkeys pounding at keyboards and accidentally spelling out B U D D I...

But you know what? Call it naive, but I prefer to think they’re not huge assholes, or hugely incompetent.

That there might actually be a point to all this, somewhere down the line.

I guess we'll find out.

[glowingbadger]

YES A FELLOW GALE LOVER! i can't resist those big brown eyes.

F, K, W for Mr. Gale bg3?

I love our beautiful dork of a mage!!! Also I got another request for Gale but the only difference in letters was that they requested D as well, so I'll just put all of those in this post.

Also, writing for BG3 characters is so weird because there's like... actual, canon information about their sex lives? Like, I'm so used to taking what's in canon and extrapolating what sex with a character might be like in a purely hypothetical sense, but with BG3 it's like... I have actually fucked Gale. I was there, it was awesome.

Alphabet prompts - Gale (BG3)

D (dirty secret), F (favorite position), K (kink), W (wild card)

NSFW 18+

Dirty secret: Over the years, Gale has maintained something of a preoccupation with envisioning all of the erotic potential in magic, to the point that he has a mental (maybe physical too) list of spells he wants to experiment with sexually. From the more obvious, like utilizing illusions to create more stimulating visuals, or Mage Hand to add to how he's able to touch you, to the somewhat creative, like the myriad uses of Alter Self, all the way to more eclectic options, like utilizing Web or Shape Stone for bondage purposes, or... with a HUGE amount of focus applied to doing so safely without harming you... some experimentation with Evard's Black Tentacles. With time and trust, he may even be willing to delve into mind affects like Dominate Person, if you request it. Needless to say, he's imagined it all.

Favorite position: Leaving aside whatever position one would consider "melding consciousnesses in the weave," to be- even while being intimate in a more traditionally "physical" way, Gale prefers to feel as much of your body against his as possible. He wants to be positively tangled in you, immersed in your touch, your scent, every amount of you he can feel and cherish. This means he's happy with missionary, with spooning you, with fucking you deep and steady from behind while pressing his body against yours on the bed- anything so long as he can hold you close and feel as intimately connected to you as possible.

Kink: I suppose we've already discussed extensively what might be considered a "magic kink" of sorts- but other than this, it absolutely has to be a praise kink. Telling Gale in no uncertain terms exactly how good he makes you feel and how dearly you adore him will have his cock throbbing hard and his pulse pounding, desperate to truly earn such praise and show you how eager he is to live up to it. That said, he will absolutely give as much as he receives; Gale can't tell you enough how breathtaking you are and how he'd give anything to hear you cry out his name each and every night. His silver tongue will never get tired- no matter how it's put to use.

Wild card: Listen. Maybe this isn't much of a headcanon, since his "flirting by asking you if you've ever read books where the heat of battle makes people horny" moment in act 2 basically implies this as canon- but Gale is a regular smut connoisseur. He's the type to get extremely invested and rather snobbish about it as well- my guy has got some hot takes. He's picky about the tone, quality and realism (for the sake of immersion, of course, he's not so boorish as to insist on realism at the detriment of artistry), but when it lands, he'll read with rapt attention, finding himself incredibly attached to the characters, their dynamic, the romance of it all. It only makes him long for you more desperately; yours is a love that would shame any prose or poetry, after all.

[electric-friend]

listen i know the whole “ed did nothing wrong”/“killing and maiming his his coping mechanism uwu” thing is a super silly joke lol and even i found it funny but it’s kinda just pissing me off.

i just hate that they never really properly resolved ed resorting to violence when he’s upset and that he never really takes accountability for his actions onscreen. and when the side of the fandom that takes no issue at all with the way seeason two was presented makes jokes that show they’re like aware of the vibes they just don’t care bc they hold characters they don’t like and characters they do like to entirely different standards. it’s just annoying lol.

like listen. yeah. ed’s my special little babygirl princess haha i love him. but like. i feel like it’s also ignoring the fact that the violence is actually bad for ed’s mental health and we know this and it’s canonically established.

the same people who make “ed did nothing wrong” jokes literally call people who do the same to izzy bad people. not all of them but like the people aligned with that Side of the fandom.

like first of all we know that canonically though ed’s capable of violence it’s not good for him. that’s a huge part of his character, that he doesn’t want to be Blackbeard. so the jokes ur making leave your favourite character unhappy anyway? and if you’re going to talk like that about ed then why is it a CRIME to do the same about izzy?

i think i’m just kinda annoyed bc people act like if you’re critical of the way the writing failed to give ed a great redemption arc it’s because you’re a racist idiot blind with love for izzy, but in fact, you can remove izzy from the equation entirely and it still sucks because it sucks for ed’s character that his arc was so confusing and we left him in such an uncertain place as a character.

listen, i don’t exactly advertise this bc i feel like people won’t understand, but i’ve been through a lot of trauma, and at times in my life when that’s been a lot fresher for me, i’ve had really serious issues with anger and aggression and lashing out. i think that’s why i connected with izzy and i think it’s why i connected with ed so strongly but also found it so hard to watch the first couple episodes of the second season.

and coming from that place, with that perspective, when i talk about ed being abusive towards izzy and the narrative not being resolved, i am NOT hating on ed and cancelling ed and saying ed is an evil person. what i’m saying is that ofmd s2 took on a really, really complex and serious and intense subject matter, and then the writing failed to carry the weight of that. i love ed, and i feel like his character was let down by us not seeing him clearly express that he’s holding himself accountable for his actions on-screen, or even seeing him healing in relation to his violent impulses that come from his trauma. his killing spree in the finale was really odd in terms of his overall arc and is honestly what threw it all off the most for me. like it’s obvious that scenes regarding ed’s apologies and forgiveness from the crew are supposed to have happened and we maybe just didn’t see all of it, because the season was rushed due to the screen time. but a lot of it is also just poor decisions in the writing and the way ed’s storyline is laid out in the final cut.

to me, saying that ed’s arc was beautiful and perfect and it’s wrong to criticise it or to acknowledge the severity of his mistakes and actions isn’t a form of loving ed. it’s a way of saying you’d rather ed actually not take steps towards healing, just because you want to pretend he didn’t do anything wrong in the first place so you can feel like the better person in the conversation. to me, the people who say ed did no wrong are expressing that they actually don’t love ed.

i mean it’s not that deep, it’s all fictional, but i wish people would look beyond their predisposition to condemning criticism of something they like, and see that there’s a lot of heart, and a lot of really personal experience and real-world context behind the arguments people are making, and that other opinions about the writing in s2 are worth listening to even if they make you uncomfortable at first.

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E4 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

My character/place cheat sheet

Lady Lihua - the sick concubine

Crystal Pavilion - Lady Lihua's abode

Jade Pavilion - Lady Gyokuyou's abode

Xiaolan - a servant friend of Maomao's

Oh snap. So that person who visited at the end of the last episode was THE EMPEROR. I don't like that Maomao is on his radar. I'm going to go ahead and blame Jinshi for this.

Lady Lihua is unwell and since Maomao is now a famous apothecary she is tasked with healing her. It's not something she can refuse or afford to fail at, though Lady Lihua's own ladies are making it challenging.

They don't trust Maomao, and so they prevent her from treating Lady Lihua, however shortsighted that may be. First of all they prevent their lady from getting better by denying her Maomao's care, second, they undermine the emperor's will. Maomao is going to be forced to deal with palace politics before she can treat her patient.

It is weird how the emperor approached Maomao. He could have summoned her to meet him anywhere, or simply passed down a command. He chose to go to the Jade Pavilion and meet Maomao face-to-face and in front of Lady Gyokuyou. It's as if he doesn't know or doesn't care about harem politics. I'm guessing that he does though. I bet he knows exactly what he's doing, even if Maomao and I don't.

I do not like his interest in Maomao.

Jinshi has come to help Maomao gain access to Lady Lihua so she can diagnose and treat her. He is so unnerving sometimes. When he notices the other ladies watching he rushes up on Maomao (is he trying to start rumors?) and whispers the following:

If it helps, I can come inside.

Which sounds... I mean, it's probably just the way it translated... I'm sure it's just me...

But Maomao looks like she nearly barfed on him! Which is probably the highlight of Jinshi's day.

The ladies comply when faced with the full power of Jinshi's smile (one lady literally fainted). Maomao comments:

Scary how women can change so quickly.

Jinshi knows the effect he has on women, but looks to Maomao after she says it, maybe wondering for the hundredth time how to get his charm to work on Maomao.

Side bar. This show is ALL about what is happening between Maomao and Jinshi. This is where the tension is, and it's where the story is happening. What happens between these two characters will have an effect on every other plotline and supporting character. If it seems like I spend too much time watching and analyzing this relationship, it's because I believe it to be the heart of the show.

Maomao! Holy shit Maomao! Goddamn if that wasn't the most lady boss thing I've ever seen!

Shall I even try to describe this scene? I'll never do this badassery justice, but its worth reviewing anyway.

She solves the mystery immediately, which, of course, and she's so far passed pissed off. When she realizes what's happened she growls in anger. She contains her rage only long enough to confirm who is responsible before slapping the lady across the face!

Lady: What is wrong with you!

Maomao: Me? Just punishing an idiot, clearly.

Friends. I am breathless. I think I gasped and then held it to the end of the scene.

Maomao dumps the poisonous powder on the lady's head. She then lays out in no uncertain terms what the poison does to one's body. Maomao is grappling to accept just how stupid this lady is, nearly shaking as she is incandescent with rage.

She slaps the woman again this time smearing the poisonous powder on her face while she screams:

You think she wants to be adorned in the poison that killed her son?!

The woman finally breaks down crying and Maomao is done with her. She takes charge and starts barking orders to the other ladies who are so terrified that they don't even think about disobeying.

Jinshi looks like he's just had a religious experience, but manages to pull out the perfect callback:

Scary how women can change so quickly.

God I love this character.

Facing Jinshi, Maomao comes back to herself. The ramifications of what she has done start to set in. I don't know if there will be fallout from the Crystal Pavilion from her bossing around Lady Lihua's ladies. I suspect they aren't going to broadcast what happened because they are criminally liable for poisoning their the concubine and also because this story makes them lose all face. Plus, Maomao is saving Lady Lihua's life. Regardless, I am confident that having Jinshi there to witness it all, will have consequences.

Dutiful Maomao then fully assumes control of Lady Lihua's care and commands the ladies with an iron fist. She can hardly tolerate the incompetency that has been standard in this pavilion. It really is a curse to be the smartest person in the room.

Jinshi: You're looking tired.

Maomao: Thanks. Unlike someone, I have been busy.

This is now what passes for a casual greeting between these two.

Jinshi, playfully, but probably sincerely, acknowledging Maomao's hard work; offering her validation, and implied appreciation. Maomao coming back with sarcasm and a playful barb. And they are both are getting exactly what they want from the other. Maomao appreciates that her hard work and skills are being acknowledged and Jinshi loves that someone is casual enough with him to tease him. I suspect he gets none of that any where else. She's may be the only one in his life who treats him like a regular person instead of a prince palace manager.

You can see each of them becoming more comfortable with each other as they learn where the lines lie. They are leaning how to give and take and discovering the ways the other prefers to be treated. Furthermore, instead of using those discoveries to push the other away or discourage them, they are giving the other what they want and inviting them to come closer.

Friends! These two are flirting!

And if that ain't proof enough, Jinshi Gaoshun gives Maomao some steamed buns and she thinks the following:

He knows the way to a girl's heart! It's the considerate guys like him who become good husbands. Too bad he's a eunuch.

So food is Maomao's love language. Same Maomao, same. But maybe don't try to be quite so transparent in front of Jinshi, he will use this against you.

Maomao is thinking of Gaoshun here but for what it's worth, it is Jinshi who knows the way to a girl's heart. He's been figuring out Maomao for a few episodes already, hence why she is receiving steamed buns from Gaoshun. He knows the food will cheer her up, but not if it come from him. Which is why Gaoshun is the one handing it over, even though he said the gift is from both of them.

Maomao interprets the gift in the way that lets her best enjoy the buns. And though she isn't admitting it, she is aware who the gift is really from, and might want to do some introspection on what she just thought about the gift giver.

Jinshi is offering to help Maomao. Whatever she wants. And he's turned the charm all the way up. Like, with all the sparkles ✨. I don't know if Maomao is totally immune to it, but it's not as effective as Jinshi would like. He hasn't abandoned the sultry look method yet. I wonder if he will just keep trying to see if anything shifts. In the meantime, it's far from his only tool of seduction.

His offer of help is good. Maomao of course won't take advantage of this for her own means, but if she can use Jinshi's help to treat her patient? Sold. Jinshi is happy to comply and win points with Maomao in return. I don't think Maomao totally trusts his altruism though. She tries to justify herself by saying:

We have to use whatever we have in this life.

And Maomao's efforts do pay off. Lady Lihua begins to recover. Eventually, Maomao is able to depart from the Crystal Pavilion. But not before collapsing in exhaustion, and having Lady Lihua gently stroke her head. Perhaps Lady Lihua is grateful and will become a support to Maomao in the future? Or at least give her some consideration while engaging in palace politics. Maybe try to mitigate the danger that could fall to Maomao. We shall see.

Maomao has so far had a positive impact on the people she interacts with. She saved Lady Gyokuyou and her baby, supports the ladies in the Jade Pavilion, assists the palace doctor, has solved multiple mysteries for Jinshi, not mention just generally brightens his day, and now has saved the life of Lady Lihua. She's too good at what she does, and too lovable not to charm everyone around her. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Surely there are some in the palace who feel very differently about Maomao. For now she's still gaining allies.

And nice. Maomao is offering courtesan tricks to the emperor's concubine. Maomao is helping break down class lines one sex technique at a time!

I like what she told Lady Lihua:

There are hundreds, if not thousands of flowers in the world. Comparing a peony to a bellflower is pointless. Who has the right to judge which is more beautiful.

After which, she immediately compares her own body to Lady Lihua's, recognizing Lady Lihua's "magnificent" "assets." I wonder which of her own assets Maomao acknowledges. Does she consider herself to be a beautiful flower too?

Maomao returns to the Jade Pavilion and is warmly welcomed by the ladies in waiting who instantly worry over her. Which, as I've said before, I love. Maomao is always willing to sacrifice herself for others. She did it this time for Lady Lihua, by working herself to exhaustion. The ladies at Jade Pavilion notice that she's lost weight while she's been gone, and acknowledge how hard it must have been to be at the other pavilion. Maomao is so good at caring for others and absolute shit at caring for herself. Luckily, now she has people who look out for her, and care about her well-being.

Jinshi is privately very proud of Maomao. He credits her with completing the emperor's mission all on her own, which... she did not. Lady Lihua would have died if Jinshi hadn't stepped in to help Maomao gain access to her patient. Still good on him for recognizing her hard work and skill. Now tell it to her face.

I guess the point in showing him thinking of it here rather than saying it, is to let us, the viewers, know that he is sincere. When he compliments Maomao he does it a little playfully, and she can never be too sure if he is just messing with her or if he is in earnest.

Also, Gaoshun sees exactly what is happening between Jinshi and Maomao, even if the two of them don't recognize it yet.

And the set up for next episode's mystery of the week is cursed hands. Cool.

If you like this kind of thing, let me know! For some reason I've committed myself to blogging this whole show. It's a little hard because, while I enjoy this and I get a whole lot more out of the story this way, I am also deeply intrigued at this point and tempted to just binge the rest.

If you want to start from the beginning of these reviews:

Episode 1

Next episode

Episode 5

[aihoshiino]

chapter 134 thoughts!

My immediate first thought going into this chapter and seeing how it picks up from last week's cliffhanger is that while I thought last week that this conflict served as an excellent character beat for both Ruby and Kana, I feel less positively about it as the catalyst for long term RubyKana conflict. Maybe that's hypocritical because I like the similar AquKana conflict back during the LoveNow aftermath and this is basically just a roided up version of that but… IDK, I guess it helped that the AquKana conflict is very clearly a romcom style miscommunication and it ends up leading to one of my all time favourite and funniest character moments for Aqua, this… isn't that. In general I really hate the old tried conflict trope of "Character A betrays or is otherwise cruel to Character B For Their Own Good and refuses to communicate about it" so this was kind of irritating to see…

It also really doesn't help that Kana is going SO above and beyond in being cruel to Ruby here in comparison to the AquKana conflict where her short-sighted lashing out was being mostly played for laughs but still came back to bite her. There's just something a bit excessive in how deliberately and pointedly cold and mean to Ruby Kana is shown being here and I guess it just feels a bit icky to me though I obviously can't make a proper call on all this til we see its conclusion.

I also have to question like… why is everyone around them just letting this happen lol. Memcho not intervening I can at least make sense of because she's been shown to be feeling off her game and a bit out of her element so I could see all that combining to make her uncertain of what to do but… uh, is Miyako not paying any attention? Admittedly the timeframe here is a little vague so we don't know exactly how long this has been going on but it's been happening at least long enough for Ruby to be going to school and fretting about it to her friends. So the idea of Miyako either being unaware of this or not intervening in this is really baffling to me??? Especially off the back of chapters 124 and 126 making a point of how badly Miyako wants to reach out to Aqua and Ruby and support them as their mother - the only way I can justify this to myself is if Miyako somehow doesn't know this was going on but how would she not know??? Like, we see Gotanda and his assistants fretting over Ruby crying after her scenes! If they're well aware something is wrong, why not Miyako? She's Aqua and Ruby's manager! This is a Strawberry Productions produced movie! We've seen her on set before! Is she just… not here now that it would be inconvenient for the plot?

(The answer to that is 'yes')

Uh all that up there does make it sound like I disliked either this or last chapter but I actually really loved them both for reasons we'll get into soon! I think they're both strong individual chapters and as points in RubyKana's shared arc I actually do really like this conflict, what it says about them both and where it seems to be taking them. There are just a lot of small, piled up contrivances pushing this conflict along and I think they annoyed me so much BECAUSE I otherwise think this is some really tasty character work for both girls and I'm otherwise enjoying it.

My bitching aside, I do really like the talk that follows this. I've been revisiting a lot of the earlier material recently via friends re-reading or giving the series a try for the first time so I've been back in that space of Ruby being particularly starstruck with Frill. It's sweet to see their present day dynamic where Ruby is fully comfortable with Frill just as her friend and trusts her enough to share her worries with her.

aw hey minami we thought you were dead

This entire scene really got my brain gears whirring and I can't help but speculate a little about its placement. At first I was just nodding along, thinking this was just Industry Exposition as usual but… isn't this odd? We don't see how Ruby phrases this question so maybe she was vague but from an authorial standpoint, why is Akasaka having Frill talk about love instead of dislike or hostility, which is what is actually going on between Ruby and Kana? Reading over that scene again and again, I can't help but wonder… is this supposed to be taken as some commentary on what's going on between Ruby and Aqua? Is Ruby developing confusedly romantic feelings for him purely because of their 'playing the roles', so to speak, of Sarina and Gorou? After all, the only other similar 'showmances', so to speak, that this could be referring to are AquKana and AquAka, neither of which quite fit the bill, especially when Frill talks about immediately snapping out of those feelings once the show is over — which didn't happen in the least for either pairing. Is this a hint of something to do with Ruby's feelings? Am I reading too much into this??? I mean, I almost definitely am, but I do that every week so…

Hopping over to Kana, the scene between her and Memcho itches my brain less mostly just because it's reiterating things communicated last week. I've said all I'll say about it feeling weird to me that Mem isn't making a move to intervene here but I do like the talk she and Kana have about their human jealousy towards Ruby. Honestly, I have a lot of respect for their being able to push it aside for so long because… honestly, none of what Kana said is wrong!

The second generation of B-Komachi exists for Ruby. Strawberry Productions got back into the idol business entirely so Ruby would have a group to be part of. Kana and Mem were recruited so Ruby would have unitmates to perform with. It doesn't revolve around her to the extent the previous generation did Ai, but in a very real sense Kana is correct when she identifies herself and Memcho as 'extras' for B-Komachi, who exist for Ruby's sake. Not only that but Ruby honestly treated them really badly while she was in black hoshigan mode! Yes, we as readers know what was going on in her head and why but think about how all that probably seemed to Kana and Mem who had no idea: From their POV, what happened was that they broke into mainstream success at last and Ruby immediately left them in the dust, prioritizing her own growth and success in a way that had a very real impact on the fan response the two of them got while they were busting their asses and trying their best to keep B-Komachi going in her absence. I don't think they would be wrong to feel honestly kind of used and hurt!

Obviously this isn't me saying that Ruby is a bad person or that she deserves to have Kana snap at her like that or whatever but… I dunno! It just feels good to have Mem and Kana finally address those feelings and admit to them without it compromising their genuine love and care for Ruby, which is one one of the main ways that the current gen of B-Komachi has surpassed the previous one. Kana especially touches on something I discussed last week in that I think her half of this shared RubyKana arc is going to be about confronting and besting her 'inner Nino', so to speak. Like Nino, she has those same tangled up feelings of admiration and envy, but Kana is capable of confronting them and identifying them. Most importantly, she loves Ruby enough to not let them take her over completely.

ANYWAY FORGET ALL THE REST OF THIS STUFF BECAUSE THIS WAS SECRETLY AN AI POST THIS WHOLE TIME MFS!!!!!!!! oh god this chapter review is already so long and now it's about to get even longer.

Anyone who's read any of my OnK meta before will probably know that I have always stood by one thing that I won't compromise on: Hoshino Ai was just a normal girl. She was a normal girl who suffered abuse and neglect and hated herself as a result, who was exploited by the entertainment industry because she was pretty and vulnerable, who didn't understand people but spent every waking moment of her too-short life reaching out so she could try and love them. The idea of Ai being fundamentally mysterious or unknowable, that the so called 'real Ai' had some horrible dark secret or that the supposedly 'true' Ai really was as horrible as Ai thought herself to be have never resonated with me. The 'real me' that is so horrible that Ai can only speak of her with black stars is nothing more than the flawed, hurting, abused human behind Ai of B-Komachi. I've said this all along and yet there's always been a little part of me worried that Akasaka was going to pull a fast one and betray that idea and rupture the heart of this character I've come to love so much.

To that end — I cannot tell you how insanely fucking cathartic the ending of this chapter was. To have Ruby at last come face to face with her mother as a human being and recognize her for who she really is. That this key final puzzle piece of the real Ai is centered on her pain and her loneliness and her raw humanity, that Ruby describes her as just a normal girl who was always crying and in pain… I genuinely don't have words to say how incredible it felt to finally, FINALLY have someone recognize Ai's suffering. And not just anyone, but one of Ai's children, one of the people she loved more than anything else in the world.

The imagery and framing here is so insanely powerful. Ai taking the place of Ruby's reflection, the look of weary, resigned pain on her face. How small Ai is when Ruby sees her. The barrier of the glass between them; even now in this moment of understanding, the unbreechable barrier of Ai's death keeps Ruby from truly reaching her. It almost feels skeuomorphic in how literal the visualization of this moment of connection and empathy is. Ruby literally sees herself in Ai — she sees Ai in herself. It's pure empathy made as real and tangible as it gets. At long, long last, someone has squinted past the blinding light cast by Ai of B-Komachi and seen Hoshino Ai alone in the shadows where she's been this whole time.

Break next week…! That was to be expected — Jump Festa 2024 will be taking place next weekend and there will be a OnK panel with the seiyuu for Ai, Aqua, Kana and Akane in attendance. We're confirmed to be getting some season 2 news as well, so there's that to look forward to!

[alto-tenure]

Do the ends justify the means?: A Zero Escape analysis

I'm not here to answer a nuanced philosophical question, sorry. At least not in any way beyond "it depends on the ends, and it depends on the means". If you'd like to leave your own opinion, as of the time this post was made, I have a poll open for that. A while ago, somewhere on Tumblr, I read a post criticizing the moral framework of Virtue's Last Reward, saying that the game (and especially the formatting of the AB Game), right down to its title, says "morals are for suckers" in comparison to 999 being driven by compassion. I don't agree with this premise (and if you're OP of that post, I apologize for making an example of you), but nonetheless I wish to take a closer look at the moral framework driving all three Zero Escape games, and ask: what exactly does Zero Escape as a franchise believe about the ends and the means?

DELTA: Don't be mistaken. If we do nothing now and let time pass, an even worse future awaits. A religious fanatic will trigger a nuclear war with a terrorist attack. Eight billion... All of mankind will perish. Unfortunately, the fanatic's identity is unknown. Therefore I decided to kill six billion people.

AKANE: Why...

DELTA: By doing so, I will have a 75% chance that they are among the virus's casualties. To tell the truth, history has proven me right.

JUNPEI: So...to kill one person, you'll sacrifice six billion...?!

DELTA: It is to save two billion people.

AKANE: And that's how you used Radical-6...

DELTA: You don't believe that's the ethical choice?

AKANE: What?! Of course I don't!

JUNPEI: Is that all you think human lives are worth?! Do you feel nothing as you kill off a whole bunch of innocent people?!

I'm opening with this because Zero II, aka Delta, is the most extreme of the Zeroes in terms of how far their means go to justify their desired end. Delta's desired end, as textually expressed (or at least one of them), is to assemble a group of SHIFTers capable of creating a timeline where Radical-6 is unnecessary and the world doesn't end.

Zero is, generally, painted as this somewhat mysterious shadowy villain, an intimidating presence that looms over the game Zero runs, even as the characters figure out that someone among them must be Zero themself. At first the player's not sure why Zero set up the Game -- for entertainment? For some kind of fucked up experiment?

But with the reveal of Zero's identity also comes the reveal of Zero's motives.

I get everything now... At last, I finally understand what all of this means. I know why the Nonary Game was held today. I know why we were kidnapped and brought here. It was all for this moment. All of this was planned out to lead to this one moment. Oh my God... This is...this is insane! I...I can't believe it, but there's only one possible answer... June is--Zero is--Akane Kurashiki. She recreated the history of the future that she had a glimpse of, 9 years ago. She tried to save herself that way 9 years ago-- No! She's trying to save herself right now! That means that there's only one thing for me to do. Even if this is all some sort of insane plan... I will save her... I will save...Akane Kurashiki. I must save her, no matter what!

(minor edits made to game's script here for readability)

Nothing about Zero's motivations is ever simple, regardless of the game -- Delta is not alone with his complex motives. In 999, it's left uncertain what exactly Zero's motivations are for a while. It's only once you start to learn about the first Nonary Game and the experiments conducted there that you start to get a picture of what's really going on, and even then, it's not truly an accurate picture. You start to see the outlines of a possible revenge plot, of the men at its center, of the targets placed on the backs of Cradle Pharmaceutical's executives. But ultimately, it's not really about revenge, though that's kind of a component. It's about saving a girl trapped in a paradox. The Cradle Pharmaceutical executives could have gotten out alive -- and for that matter, the game was designed so that the door was left open. Revenge wasn't the true goal, though perhaps it was optimistic to believe in a timeline where Ace wouldn't kill the others, all things considered. Is Akane's life worth the lives of the Cradle Pharmaceutical executives? Is Akane's life worth the trauma she inflicted on the others and re-inflicted on Clover and Light? The game hardly leaves any time for an answer from anyone besides Junpei. And Junpei won't let Akane die.

We never see Akane, so we don't get too much more rumination on this. Do the ends justify the means? Someone needed to save Akane's life, and danger is required for the morphogenetic field to work. And I don't think there's anyone who would want to let 12-year-old Akane burn in the incinerator (besides the person who put her there), regardless of what she has to do in order to avoid being burned.

Virtue's Last Reward and Zero Time Dilemma both massively up the stakes from 999. What hangs in the balance isn't the fate of a single girl, but the fate of the whole world.

Virtue's Last Reward places an emphasis on predestination -- not that 999 didn't have those aspects, but that the future was much less certain in 999 in comparison. Akane is both dead and alive, but in Virtue's Last Reward, the apocalypse has already happened, and the world has already died. What matters, then, is not the timeline that we are present in, but the timelines that could be. In End or Beginning, you're left with that hope for a better timeline -- hope that the Sigma that jumped to December 2028 can create a better timeline. But in the meantime, this Sigma is stuck in this timeline, and that won't change for another forty-five years.

Would I...would we really be able to change the course of history? No...that was the wrong way to look at it. It couldn't be a question. I had to change history. We could save the world. I'm going to change history. I stared at the darkening skies above us, and steeled myself. I would succeed.

Sigma comes to the same conclusion as Junpei in 999: someone needs saving, and so the past must be changed. Becoming Zero is necessary because he already has before. "What you are, I was; what I am, you will become." Sigma is the one caught in the paradox this time, because if he runs from the fate in front of him, then there isn't even a semblance of hope that things could change.

But that's not where the game ends, thanks to natural disasters in Japan.

TENMYOUJI: But what would rewriting their history mean? The nine [bikers] who survived lived full lives. How can it be right to just erase all that? The survivors overcame their own misery and loss, and made the best they could of the hand they'd been dealt. Isn't that worth something? Isn't that the best thing that humans can aspire to? Is there really any point to a world where everything is happy? Are people who struggle for a better world just idiots? Being human is about fighting even when it seems hopeless, and finding happiness even in a world that hates it. Are you saying that's worthless?

Another Time may not have ultimately been taken into account for Zero Time Dilemma, but it is one of the few times when Zero's mindset -- and the player's mindset, due to experience with 999 and other multi-route visual novels -- is directly addressed and challenged. Life goes on in those abandoned timelines, despite it all.

Zero is always going to be dubiously moral. Putting people in a death game is never going to be something good, no matter how just a cause it is. But Another Time is one of the few times the first two games question directly whether it really is right -- whether all those cross-timeline casualties are really worth it for the ideal nice happy ending.

...of course, Zero Time Dilemma, as with the title, only adds to the moral balance.

Going back to the lines of dialogue we started with here: Akane and Junpei are a group of people who, generally, believe that the ends justify the means. Akane couldn't have been Zero in 999 without that belief, and she undoubtedly has come to fully accept it by the ending of Virtue's Last Reward:

SIGMA: Do you really think I can keep the virus from getting out?

AKANE: You have to. If you don't, billions of people will die. Only you and Phi can save them.

The AB Project, for Akane, is a necessity. She'll do whatever is necessary for a world without Radical-6.

...and this brings us back once more to Delta. How far do the ends have to go to justify the means? ZTD bends over backwards to explain how Delta can still have a somewhat sympathetic motivation by stating that he's fighting fire with fire -- asking the player if they'd rather kill six billion or eight billion people. And the answer, according to the writers, is "fuck that, we're finding a third option"...which is also what Delta wanted, in the end. Delta also gets his motivations challenged a fair bit -- not just wanting to secure his own existence in the form he is currently in, but also everything apocalypse-related.

Zero Time Dilemma never quite settles the question of whether the ends justify Delta's means of getting there. In my opinion, what you make of Carlos's final decision and resolving the ambiguity says a lot about your thoughts on how Delta's means work towards the ends he sought.

But in the end...the characters still accept Delta's premise. The characters are still working to find the person who Delta claims doomed the human race to either nukes or Radical-6 and the annihilation reactors. Zero Escape as a series has firmly lodged itself into believing the ends justify the means, even if that means it has to justify brutal deaths and an apocalypse-causing virus. That isn't to say that it's incapable of questioning the premise altogether, but Zero as a figure is one that cannot exist without the philosophy of a good outcome mattering more than any bad outcomes along the way.

[mothfables]

Modern Day Chain Work at a Christmas Market

so i work at a seasonal christmas market and had this idea today while we were doing set-up. time to induce my misery (lighthearted) on my favourite characters lmao

under the cut so it doesn’t take up your dash haha

Time is the closest thing they have to a manager. he does not like this. Warriors is a close second

Twilight + Four are in charge of physically setting up the tent/stall

Legend, Wild, and Four are in charge of displays (well, when Four isn’t fed up from setting up the tent)

Wild works in the back/warehouse, Time the register with regular breaks on the floor, Legend on the floor (he refuses to even touch the register), Hyrule the floor, Twilight on the floor and occasionally register, Sky’s the greeter and occasionally works the floor or other things, Warriors is mostly on the register, and Four does a bit of everything. Wind is technically, on paper, on greeter duty (cause, yknow, child labour) but he sticks his nose into everything, much to literally everyone else’s chagrin

Time tends to put Sky on greeter duty because he knows the other man tends to tire easily, but he does surprisingly well at whatever he’s assigned. that being said, whatever he does, he passes out immediately upon getting home

they tried the ‘My Name is Link’ nametag thing exactly once. they lasted two days before everyone was sick of it

Hyrule is still shy + uncomfortable around crowds, despite working there for four years. Time has tried putting him on the floor to try to boost his confidence, but he still escapes to the back at every opportunity

Legend flat-out refuses to work their busiest weekends. he told Time they’d have to drag him kicking and screaming into the store if they absolutely want him there. Time has yet to test this

Time + Twilight are physically intimidating, which tends to be a deterrent for most shoplifters + Karens. when that doesn’t work, though, they have a secret weapon: Hyrule

shy he may be, put him in front of a Karen and you’re in for a show. more than one of them have stopped what they’re doing to watch things go down. Time has berated them for it but they don’t pay him any mind considering he’s guilty of the exact same thing

also, Hyrule has a sixth sense for potential shoplifters, no matter where in the store he is. Four + Legend have been trying to figure it out but after four years they still don’t have an explanation

Time asked Mallon once if she wanted to work at the market with them. she laughed and told him she’d rather stay on the ranch. there are many days where Time regrets not doing the same thing

Wild does not work the floor. he has stated in no uncertain terms that if he’s put out there he will bite someone. to this day Time doesn’t know if he means a customer or one of them

everyone has their own organizational system that directly contradicts everyone else’s. they all hate it

Wind works the least hours out of all of them (considering he’s fourteen). he’s pouted about this many times, but the rest of them agree he should save his back + knees while he still can

Ravio is perfectly happy with his own shop. he does pop in sometimes to say hello, though, and on occasion brings treats for everyone

[fandoomrants]

Okay, so I'm fully into my HP obsession again (honestly, I don't care what anyone says or how much the world tries to cancel this fandom. This is my childhood, it's a part of me that's always there and I eventually go back to between the other things) and therefore, the Marauders era's obsession.

And like, I've always loved them for some reason. Honestly, when I found fandoms and stuff and saw they're actually almost a fandom on it's own, I was so happy and relieved that I'm not the only one. (I realised at one point that I love HP yet I've never read a fic that's not about them from this fandom...)

But I've been thinking about some things and also came across some random videos summarizing what we know about them (because there are so many hcs that most people accept as common that it's easy to forget the real facts) and now I have so many thoughts I need to share because they haunt me.

-They were like... Big jerks. Especially James and Sirius. Mostly them, tbh. Like, not only because we see them from Snape's perspective in memories and he hates them but because, well, they were mean. Especially Sirius (he's my absolutely favourite character but still), he's done pretty shitty things. I think James mostly had beef with Snape but they were overall kinda bullies.

-Even though I love Wolfstar just as much as 90% of this fandom (I mean the Marauders era), I think they're a famous ship just because we get to see interactions between them while alive and not just flashbacks but I don't think they were really close back in the days. James and Sirius were the ones extremely close and maybe if we had seen extended Marauders' interactions or they were eventually all alive, then most likely Wolfstar wouldn't have been that popular.

-I'm 99% sure that the great friendship between Lily and Remus is completely fan-made. I believe Remus was the most reasonable (but nobody can convince me he wasn't the mastermind behind 99% of their pranks at the same time) and wasn't into being mean with anyone so it's possible that they were interacting on much better terms than her and James (I mean, until they got together) but I don't think they could have ever been called friends.

-In fact, canonly, Sirius was taller than Remus. (What a shock, right?)

-Lots of people say stuff like "Who was the fifth guy in their dorm?" and there are many theories about it but do we even have a proof that the four of them were in the same dorm at all? Nope.

-Now that's my personal opinion but... I absolutely believe they were really good friends and while at school at least, nobody was left out intentionally but... Maybe Peter betrays them in the end because of some build up stuff throughout the years. We know James and Sirius meet on Hogwarts Express and immediately become best friends. We don't know when Remus and Peter join exactly but it must have been shortly after, I think Peter is pretty much the last who joins. Seeing how some of the people are very good friends, it's a bit hard to truly feel a part of a friend group and might make you feel a bit left out at times (but that's basically a rule in every friend group, tbh. There are the two best friends and well... the other, still close friends).There's also the fact that Peter canonly wears the Sorting hat for over five minutes so here you have another episode of feeling kind of left out. Then later they learn about Remus and they all decide to support him and even learn how to transform and Peter is the last to learn how to do it too. Then even later, James and his family take Sirius in. What I'm trying to say is, we have no canon information of any of them doing anything for Peter and I'm not saying that they weren't good friends, it's just that he was exposed to them doing stuff for each other, and like, really big stuff too (granted, it was really all about helping a friend in a big need) but he was never the center of it + some occasions that might have left him feel kind of uncertain and uneasy about himself like not being sorted for a longer time or needing help to transform. And the result might be feeling emotionally distant from the group and with desire to prove himself worthy of something. So, that's maybe why he finally turns to Voldemort.

-They canonly don't trust Remus much by the end and even suspect he might be Voldemort's spy.

-There is a big chance that Harry and Remus really meet when Harry is 13, meaning that he never saw him as a baby.

-Speaking of feeling left out earlier... I think Remus might have also felt so more often than not. I think they were all into innocent pranks but he wasn't into actively being a jerk, especially considering that he was someone who would have gotten lots of hate if people knew about the werewolf thing. The stupid prank in 5th year must have been a real punch in the gut too. The fact that he gets to stop interacting with them and they even start mistrusting him. Lots of things, really. AND HE STILL NEVER BETRAYED THEM, WAS NEVER A JERK TO ANY OF THEM, AND GOT TO LIVE FOR 12 YEARS BELIEVING THAT ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS KILLED THE OTHER TWO!!!

Okay. I made myself enough sad for one evening. Might add more to this.

[balanceoflightanddark]

Read your fic and I have to say you make a pretty good morally gray Godzilla, like it's a tough concept to nail down and you managed to hit it right on the head

Thanks for enjoying my fic. And sorry if updates have been a little slow. I was just on vacation in Michigan and I've been busy with work. Hopefully I can get back in the flow of things in the days to come.

Anyways, when it comes to a morally grey Godzilla, you have to understand that he's been around for decades. Naturally that means that as different writers and directors come and go, naturally they're going to have different interpretations of the character. That includes morality. Hell, just this year we've had one of the most malevolent Godzillas in Godzilla: Minus One, and the more heroic character from Godzilla X Kong: A New Empire. Trying to write a version of Godzilla that pays tribute to all his outings AND fits within the narrative of Avatar: The Last Airbender is naturally going to be a daunting challenge.

What made it a bit easier for me is that Godzilla, at his core, isn't exactly a character you can hate. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still a destructive monster that can kill millions. But he didn't exactly ask to be a giant radioactive monster to begin with. Hell, it's right there in the first movie. While Godzilla goes on deliberate rampages, we also see him resting peacefully in Tokyo Bay. And his death isn't exactly treated as triumphant either. I think even the cast cried a little at his death scene if I remember correctly.

It helps that even at his worst, it's still kind of difficult to hate Godzilla. It's implied in GMK that he's being possessed by a million souls who are rightfully angry at being forgotten by the Japanese who killed them in World War II. Shin Godzilla was essentially one big walking cancer who's whole existence was hell. Even Godzilla from Minus One was a territorial dinosaur initially, and we do see a brief shot of his very painful transformation into the kaiju we all know.

At the same time though, he's still a giant monster that repeatedly attacks people. Like it or not, there has to be some kind of response lest he continues to go on a rampage. So at his core, we do have that grey morality going on. Which is highlighted in later films that I'll discuss in a minute.

For my portrayal of Godzilla, I wanted to find that sweet spot between heroic and villainous. Not entirely evil, but not entirely good either. More like a force of nature who'd rather be left alone than anything else. While I am aiming for a more heroic take on him as the story goes on, I don't want to stray away from this either.

Besides, I felt a morally gray Godzilla would work for a post-war canon like I have here. Basically one big consequence of the Fire Nation's rampant warmongering that's going to cause problems for them again and again if they continue to be imperialistic. He works as a foil for Aang in that way. Aang advocates for peace and understanding, working on reforming the Fire Nation. Godzilla works as a big reminder for why the Fire Nation must give up their ways lest they basically self-destruct. Considering that one of Godzilla's core themes is the unintended consequence of rampant warfare and disregard for life, this does fit in nicely with the anti-war and anti-imperialistic tones of ATLA.

There's two films in this regard I want to highlight. The first being Godzilla vs King Ghidorah, which is essentially Godzilla's origin story for the Hesei series. The film makes it clear under no uncertain terms that Godzilla was initially peaceful and merely territorial before Imperial Japan brought war to his island and left him mortally wounded. Not only that, but the local Japanese Commander left him for dead (not out of malice mind you) and he later got mutated by nuclear weapon usage. Leaving him a hate filled monster. Even still, there is a moment of poignance where Godzilla encounters the Japanese Commander again in the present day (who is now a successful businessman) where he remembers that painful day and roars in agony right before killing the one who turned him into what he is. Even if he's the bad guy, it's really difficult to blame him for being what he is since he didn't have a choice in the matter.

The other film is Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla II. Again, Godzilla is an antagonistic force who goes on a rampage. This time though, it's because humans had unknowingly taken a young member of his species. And interestingly, he backs off when he senses his "son" is in danger from his rampage. The problem comes more from the humans in the second half, when they intentionally use the infant as bait for them to lure Godzilla into a trap. Aside from being reckless enough to risk another rampaging Godzilla just to get a shot at him (even though the chosen area is an uninhabited island), they're trying to kill him even when he's not an immediate threat. He wasn't even making his way towards Japan BEFORE they risked his "son's" life. So again, hard to blame him for wrecking Super MechaGodzilla.

These are the films I based a lot of Godzilla's morality on for my fic. He's certainly a threat, but often it's because of a consequence of somebody else's machinations. And while he's going to be in a more "heroic" light in the coming arcs, the damage and danger he causes just by showing up isn't going to go away.

[ladygwyndolin]

my constant hot take on Sora vs School Destruction is that its like genuinely just down to people treating Kuroko as an anti-hero instead of the straight up villian that she is, or I suppose more aptly, not being able to realize that Kuroko being the protag doesnt inherently mean you should be on her side//that shes just as bad if not worse than the people she kills.

also a bit of fandom flanderization and boiling her down to her funny haha moments.

EXACTLY RIGHT!!!! They've sadly toned it down lately (but I have faith it'll come back) but Kuroko is very explicitly A BAD PERSON and a MONSTER and she literally says that in no uncertain terms. She is the definition of morally bankrupt and is guilty of pretty much every horrible thing under the sun and the fact that she feels love for her friends/gf doesn't take away from the fact that she is a monster who doesn't care about human life. I can't stand when fans of anything try to pretend a character isn't as bad as they are because it's like, why even engage with the series at that point?

Sora is disturbing because of what we see, specifically brutal depictions of child murder etc. and School Destruction just doesn't have anything as hard to look at as Sora does. Sure Kuroko is a bit more brutal than usual but it's never OOC because she's a villain protagonist like!!!!! That's what makes her fun to watch! She sucks! And loving Murcielago means fully recognizing that she sucks and is awful and loving her as the villain she is imo

[fakeosirian]

anatomy of a scene - house of anubis s2x85

joy and fabian's fight during the senet game makes me feel INSANE. i'd elaborate more above the cut but that'd defeat the purpose of the cut. so. long story short: this is one of, if not the best scene in the show in regards to character writing in the moment and as a fulcrum in the story at large (in my opinion). transcript + meta as follows:

JOY: What's the point in asking for my help if you're not going to listen to me?

FABIAN: I got it wrong. Okay.

JOY: Wrong? Fabian, this isn't chess; if we make a mistake, someone falls through the floor!

FABIAN: Don't you think I know that? I feel bad enough as it is!

JOY: So you should.

JOY: None of them have signed up for this. Even Victor chickened out when he knew what the stakes were!

(one of the top 10 funniest cuts of the series)

FABIAN: No- Anyway, who knows what would have happened if we had done your move!

JOY: Worst case scenario? We'd have lost Amber. But I would have had two players playing this game instead of one.

FABIAN: You always have to be right and rub everyone else's noses in it, don't you? And do you know why? It's because you're a bully and a control freak.

(screenshots can't do it justice -- the way her face changes is SO subtle, but her eyes get flat and her whole face tenses up. it's eerie)

JOY: Yeah? Well, you're a geek and a coward.

FABIAN: You're a witch.

JOY: Doormat.

They stare in opposite directions. Long beat.

JOY: So what do we do now?

FABIAN: I don't really think we have much of a choice, do we?

Another beat -- still not looking at each other.

FABIAN: Joy...I'm sorry.

Joy nods ever so slightly. She takes a short breath in.

JOY: Okay. Let's do this.

She only makes eye contact in the brief moment before she turns to sit back down.

not gonna transcribe the whole next scene but key point is instead of being irritated on her own behalf or shutting down completely, joy is acting more similarly to before patricia/amber fell through -- then she was visibly nervous, but now she's bordering on tears and openly expressing her doubts about her abilities. she says that she's worried about the "victor" guard because his movements are "unpredictable," but we know she feels that way because she couldn't get a good angle recording him before to study him like the others. throughout the scenes, she's gone from more plainly stating she's frustrated she couldn't get a solid reference on him to making him out to be almost sentient, something beyond her ability to predict despite the mundane reason for it. (could be that he's genuinely moving at random, but i'm choosing to interpret it the interesting character motivation way, especially considering her reasons for naming that guard "victor." girlie is projecting and i don't blame her)

fabian's also done a complete 180 in his demeanor since the fight, gently reassuring her, looking at her with the most fondness we've seen towards her this entire season tbh, and explicitly stating his confidence in her abilities in no uncertain terms. then, he does something really interesting: he lies. he says that he wants her to tell him what her next move would be, promising that he won't do it (with a tone of voice that implies he thinks it'd be ridiculous to do so and he just wants to "review"); once she does, he IMMEDIATELY does them and is totally fine. even when the guard almost whacks him in the head, he looks more defiant than anything.

the neat thing here is there's LAYERS to this fight and what each insult they throw at each other means re: the past, the present, and the future. the future's the easiest because it appears surface level -- they're both doing the opposite of what they were accused of before. joy's not looking to control anything and refuses to cause harm to him; while he's doing exactly as he's told, it's not as a doormat or a coward would. he's making a gamble by not only doing the opposite of what she wanted for him (despite it being her strategy), but even abandoning his own perception of the game (so not even being a "geek" either).

there's more implications for further in the future, but that's on like, level 4 of subtlety and narrative complexity so let's do the past first.

now, my feelings on the nina/fabian/joy love triangle are WAY too extensive to fit in this post, but i'll do my best to condense how i feel about the jabian side of things. joy overstepped repeatedly to a critical degree and was aware she was overstepping. fabian didn't trust himself to communicate his discomfort in a way that wouldn't hurt her feelings (he clearly doesn't think highly of his own interpersonal skills and defaults to other people's advice, even if he thinks it's not very good. that's how little he trusts himself), so he was caught in a bind: he's not to blame for freezing up around someone whose opinion of him he took very seriously, but despite the fact that she acted beyond inappropriately, i can see why joy would feel led on.

joy sidebar: the main things i think of here are the kiss-under-false-pretenses and the movie date. that's definitely material better left for another meta but tl;dr on my thoughts: her behavior was inherently self-destructive at its core, but that doesn't change the fact that when she sets herself up to either experience the best thing or worst thing ever because she can't stand the uncomfortable grey area between, she's setting up everyone around her for the same, which is Appropriately Selfish for a teenager, especially one fresh off of a uniquely horrific traumatic event! i love joy because she's chronically wrong!

fabian sidebar: i think he would have had a far easier time talking to joy if nina wasn't an intervening variable, despite his feelings for her in theory making it easier to turn someone down. that's all i'll say here

SO. the insults, interpreted with that context. "bully" is definitely referencing "ninagate," and while my first instinct was "control freak" referencing the exhibition/ball/how she drags fabian around in general (and i think that's what he thinks he's getting at), the more i think about it, the more i'm convinced it's projection on his part. more on that in the present section.

she reacts by shutting down because that's...kinda what everyone's been calling her already this entire season. and not without reason -- the scenes where patricia confronts her about her behavior (and they start to grow apart as a result) are well placed throughout the narrative, each triggered by something very specific and with a general trend towards distance, but it's not a straight line. joy's felt she's gotten some "redemption" lately being let in on the senet game, so having it "snatched away" kicks her right back to self-preservation instincts: fighting back, even if it means she's "living up to the reputation" that feeds the vicious cycle of her behavior.

"geek" is deliberately impersonal as an insult because her pulling back and not only seeing him so one-dimensionally, but pulling out an insult he'd hear from someone who isn't close to him (doesn't understand/appreciate his intelligence and interests) tells him she doesn't give a shit about him. she obviously does, but she can't let him think that him thinking so lowly of her would hurt her as much as it does. he'd "win." (gee, i wonder why someone betrayed by adult figures in their life, those who as a child you'd previously rely on as your foundational source of and model of trust, would make someone react that way...)

"witch" is fabian's default insult towards bullies. it's what he called patricia when she was picking on nina early season 1 despite their existing friendship, indicating it's an insult designed to set him apart from "being on your side" -- a counterattack to her doubling-down on the "bully" persona he set up for her in this conversation (though in the context of ninagate, it's not an unfair assessment, and she definitely chose to embody it (hello self-destruction) before he called it out directly).

i didn't talk about coward with geek because it's wrapped up in "doormat." she held back before he said witch -- despite the fact that she was the first to feign a lack of closeness with "geek," him seeming to confirm this sentiment tips her over the edge into stating something...particularly twisted coming from her. if anyone has taken advantage of the fact that he's a doormat when it comes to social interactions, it's her. "coward" can be localized to the senet game more easily -- she had a point earlier! why ask her for help if you're going to be bossy anyway? makes it seem like he's just trying to divest responsibility without the power and make her feel like a scapegoat! (uncharitable read, but understandable in this tense environment!) but doormat? he's not being a doormat now. he's been a doormat in the past (notably only in regards to social/relationship stuff -- he's generally a decision-maker and even "insubordinate" when it comes to mystery stuff. he defers to nina a lot, but only if he doesn't think he knows better -- see: getting patricia and alfie involved behind her back). joy knows reminding him of a big insecurity like that will get under his skin. get under his skin, and maybe he'll stop. (and he does. note that her automatic logic here doesn't consider just...demanding he stop in plain language. he probably would, but once again: fundamental lack of trust triggered! it's not "personal" to him in that he caused that issue, but it hit the button.)

does she like that he's a doormat, though? honestly, i don't think she does. she likes when he goes along with what she wants to do, but not because she told him to -- she just wants to do things with him, and she thinks she has to find the "right thing" that will "make him realize he does." when talking to patricia, she implies she truly believes fabian wants to go along with whatever thing she's pressuring him into at that given moment, despite patricia trying to tell her that he's...well, a doormat who can't say no to her. she wants him to want her out of persuasion, not intimidation. her calling him a doormat wasn't just an insult; it's a resignation. it's her giving up hope on not only a romantic connection but maybe friendship, especially since that revelation had to be dragged out of her by him finally not being a doormat and overcorrecting (as he's prone to do. see: the poem recitation to nina disaster).

speaking of...the present.

the irony of the present is that they're not in a romance plotline scene. they're in a mystery plotline scene, where fabian expresses VERY different character traits re: what i was saying before about the doormat comment. joy arguably does too -- it's harder to get a read on her because she's only one level above a human macguffin in s1 and hasn't interacted with the plot directly until This Arc, but with the small sample we have, we can see she's far more inclined to caution, knowing full well the consequences of making mistakes but without the regular exposure to desensitize her. when she asks what they're supposed to do next and fabian tells her they have One Option, he doesn't need to say what that option is, and it's not important. what he's communicating is far subtler than that; his more haphazard approach to strategy -- deliberating/mitigating but actively taking risks regardless of previous failure -- isn't borne of pure recklessness. she's optimistic you can sit out and still survive but cynical you could survive by trying; he's cynical (and correct, in this case) about nonparticipation, knowing it's Not An Option, but optimistic that if they just take one more risk they can win back and surpass their losses. they have before, and the consequences of opting out are beyond taking an automatic failure.

it ties back into his social doormatism; he wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing he abandoned nina because he can't deny her anything, even if it's her breaking up with him or her asking him to throw himself in a hole. calling that "being a doormat" is really, really uncharitable of course, but for the sake of the parallel, he has to RESIST being a doormat to joy (and has no problem doing so -- he overrides her MULTIPLE times in this plotline after telling her she's in charge) to do so, which while the "only option" for him, is obviously difficult because of the habits he's developed on the social side of things. the fabina relationship has always been part of the "plot" side of the show to me, with s2 muddying the waters/making it straddle the line with the "slice of life" stuff more by involving joy and giving them romance scenes that aren't entirely related to the mystery. this scene does the reverse for jabian -- it's officially plot because fabian finally used character traits he only has access to in a plot context to impart consequences to the "slice of life" plot, officially ending it. there's a reason no jabian turning down/closure scene before this really felt "real" -- it had to be broken down here, like this.

i think it's also for that reason that she doesn't return his apology. some of it is her still having shit on her end to work through, but i have a hunch that you could attribute the source of some of that shit to her realizing that Exact Thing. he's putting nina over her. it doesn't have to be through every hoop i jumped through up there -- it's as simple as the unspoken gut feeling of "you'd never say that to nina."

to tie up the rest of the insults re: the present, most of them are equally contradictory to their current situation/the immediate reason the fight started. (she wasn't bullying anyone/being especially "witchy" beyond being a little harsh towards him. he wasn't being a coward. him being "a geek" could be in reference to him needing to be involved in the "brains" part of the operation here, but that's a bit of a reach.)

but the most interesting one is "control freak," which i mentioned i'd be circling back to later. now is later! joy's not being a "control freak" -- he literally asked her to help and won't let her do her job. that's the projection, by the way. he's the one overstepping, and while i at least can tell it's coming from...not an intentionally bad place per se (mix of guilt running amok/being the usual "ideas guy" and doesn't know how else to deal with feeling stressed out despite it Not Helping/Genuine Concern And Fear), it's certainly super obnoxious of him to take it out on joy, and i wouldn't discount the interpretation of him being arrogant/a bit of a chauvinist here, lmao. chauvinism doesn't feature much, if at all, in his characterization as a pattern, but arrogance certainly can.

i say can because this is the 4th layer of future, LOL. the senet game serves as great foreshadowing (and in some ways, a better version of, in my opinion) fabian succumbing to the sin of pride -- to RFS himself, no less, who designed this game as a hubris trap. it's notable that sinner-fabian targets joy to insult directly, ESPECIALLY after she's had such a successful growth period while so many other people in the house became the worst versions of themselves, and i like to think that was written with this in mind.

i'm going to be saving any s3 thoughts past that for another day because they're...complicated, and i'm not sure how to best express them yet and REALLY don't want to contribute to tired-out discourse or come off like a hater, lmfao. the only reason i even Mention it is because i don't have any of the...usual? issues with it? i have no gripes with screen time balance and like that it really delves into the logical-conclusion consequences of previous seasons. if anything, it has a lot of my favorite shit (KT, joy's "redemption arc," fabian being allowed by the story to be as unreliable as other characters, eddie's maturation). my issue is more in the very-pretentious-narrative-theory zone (specifically craft stuff like tone and the specific mechanics of how character development functions on screen, not necessarily what the characters develop into), so i'll leave that for the "The Only Two (2) Functional Changes I Would Make To Season Three That Leave It Both Essentially The Same, And Yet Different Enough To Solve What I Believe Are Critical Audience Engagement Complications" post? i guess?

if you made it this far, i'll buy you some eyedrops because i know MY eyes are dry after typing this beast up in one sitting. i am terminally verbose :3 but fr, thank you! let me know what you think, ESPECIALLY if you disagree. i promise i won't call you a geek or a bully <3

[eldritchaccident]

Timing: Current Location: A Couples Resort somewhere in Wicked's Rest Feat: @mortemoppetere & @eldritchaccident Warnings: Medical Blood Tw (brief brief mention in a prose way), Unsanitary tw (section marked) Summary: While undercover on a mission, Teddy and Emilio have to “pretend” to be a “couple” 

---

“So what’s my character?” 

After an uncharacteristic bout of silence on the way to the secret upscale resort somewhere in Wicked's Rest, Teddy finally spoke up. They’d spent most of the drive from World’s End Isle staring out the window of the passenger side of their own car. Emilio insisted on driving, and the sight of the detective all cleaned up and in a nice almost-tux driving a goddamn goldenrod yellow Volkswagen beetle was more than their carefully constructed mask could handle. 

The man looked… 

Well he looked very good. 

Very. 

Very. 

Very very.

Very very very very.

V. e. r. y. 

VERY good. 

Teddy felt like a blushing schoolgirl, trying not to look at her crush. Their cheeks flushed with heat, their heart fluttered like a giddy butterfly. When the man first came out of his room after Teddy had shoved him in with the choices of clothes, well, they didn’t expect him to come out like he was in a goddamn dream. Teds clammed up and gave the world’s worst compliment then shut up until they finally figured a good way to slip back into conversation super duper casually. 

“Like, are we a new couple, have we been together forever? Am I your darling partner? Your side piece? What’s my name?” 

—

It was a stupid idea. Emilio knew that. Undercover work wasn’t exactly something he was built for to begin with — he didn’t have the patience or the temperament for it. He always ended up speaking without thinking, saying something he didn’t mean to say. 

Case in point: when his current missing persons case had stalled at some ‘couples only’ resort in town because he was one person and not a pair, he’d made the bold claim that he had a partner. It had worked in his favor… for about a day. He was allowed in the resort, but not for long enough to gain anything of value. And when he mentioned a desire to come back later that week? He’d been told, in no uncertain terms, that he wouldn’t be granted entry unless his partner was with him. 

So, that was mistake number one. Speaking without thought, digging himself a hole without a rope to pull himself out of it. Classic Cortez slip, but not entirely unmanageable. No, the bad part, the big problem… that came with mistake number two.

He should have asked Jade. Or Xó, or Arden, or just about anyone else on the goddamn planet. Asking your roommate, who you had stupid, useless feelings for, to be your fake partner at a couples’ resort was a bad idea even when you weren’t trying to get rid of said feelings for everyone’s own good. But when you were? And when your stupid roommate was incapable of not dressing for the occasion in a way that made it just about impossible to keep your stupid eyes on the stupid road? 

Emilio didn’t think bigger mistakes existed.

He was gripping the steering wheel a little too tight. He knew that. It was creaking a little, uncomfortable under the force of his enhanced strength. He’d been half hoping that Teddy would just be quiet the entire drive, make things easier on him, but he knew Teddy well enough to know it was a far-fetched hope even before the ex-demon started speaking. 

Glancing over out of the corner of his eye and ignoring the way his mouth went dry at the sight of them all done up, Emilio shrugged. “I wear a wedding ring,” he replied, “so we’re married. Had it on when I was here before, so easier to go with it. I, uh — Hold on.” He removed one hand from the wheel, digging in the pocket of his jeans for a moment before producing a silvery blue band. He held it towards Teddy, keeping his eyes locked on the road. “Friend at the pawn shop owed me one. Think it should fit you, I don’t know. It’s not silver or gold, but not the cheap shit that’ll make your skin itch or anything. And you only have to wear it while we’re here. Or we come up with a story why you don’t wear one, if you don’t want to wear it. Or… whatever.” He shrugged, dropping the ring in their palm and pretending his chest didn’t ache. 

His hand lingered for a moment before returning to the wheel, white-knuckle grip returning. “Do you want a fake name? I was just going to call you Teddy. Easier that way. Or I use a nickname, if you don’t want them knowing your real name? Cariño, corazón, amor. What do you like?”

—

“Ahh, a Mx Teddy Cortez then? Well in that case, I do.” The words eked out through a shaggy pink haired bobble, playfully smiling over at the driver before Teddy could actually register them. Had they realized the gravitas of the words said while donning a wedding ring, it surely wouldn’t have come out like a half-sung melody. Wouldn’t have carried the weight of ‘I would’. Or maybe it would have. Had the ex-demon realized at all, they would have gotten choked up with the lump that chased the phrase into Ted’s throat, not allowing any clarification or follow up. 

Well… back to the window.

The ring felt heavy on their hand. Cool to the touch but burning all the same. When had he gone out and got this? How did he know their size? He said he didn't know, but the thing slipped on like it was made for them. That old inconsolable flicker of hope rose up in their chest, banging against their rib cage as Teddy recalled the way Jade had assured them that Emilio did care and it wasn't just– ah but it was though, wasn't it? Friendship. Just and only, friendship. 

Emilio was an incredible detective, had probably done shit like this a thousand times. He probably knew it would be easy to fake a relationship when half the team had a big dumb obvious crush on the other. That way Teddy could keep their cover, and Emilio could get some work done. It was smart. He was smart in a way Teds wished everyone could see. Em deserved some fucking recognition from time to time. It pissed them off. Royally. The kind of anger that made them want to find a necromancer just to bring back Mama Cortez and shove it in her righteous face. 

The thought was a little easier to sit with than the ring. They fiddled with it, rubbing the smooth metal this way and that. Twisting it around their finger. Trying actively to push down any giddy sparks it tried to rile. It was just an object. A simple loop of a mystery metal. It shouldn't have had the power to render them into a muddled mess that couldn’t even look his way without their heart raging out a ruckus. There was a riot going on in Teddy’s chest, and this was only adding fuel to the fire.

But Emilio asked a question, and they had to answer. The silence could only stretch so long. They were bound to get to the resort soon enough. “Y’know–” They croaked, then coughed to cover it. “Whatever’s most comfortable, right? Gotta sell it.”   

—

“Unless you want me to take your last name,” Emilio replied dryly. He thought of the mechanic at the body shop he’d investigated, the one with the haunted car. He’d given her Jones as a last name, largely because it was the first one to pop into his head. He half wondered if he ought to start building it up as an alias, but… well. There were certain implications that came with that, weren’t there? Implications Teddy definitely wouldn’t miss. Emilio’s grip on the steering wheel threatened to tighten; he had to remind himself not to let it. If he broke Teddy’s steering wheel, they’d probably notice and realize that something was up. He couldn’t risk them picking up on the way his heart stuttered in his chest when they said I do like it was a simple thing. Nothing about this was simple. He doubted it ever would be.

Still, Teddy was uncharacteristically quiet as Emilio drove, and he couldn’t help but wonder if they’d picked up on something in spite of his best efforts. Maybe they knew about the feelings swirling in his chest. Xóchitl’s message might have given him away just a little, might have revealed more than he’d hoped for. Or maybe Teddy knew everything long before then, the way they’d known about Flora without Emilio ever saying the words. They were observant, after all, when they wanted to be. They’d make a good detective. In situations like this one, it didn’t feel much like a good thing.

He saw them out of the corner of his eye fiddling with the ring. His thumb went absently to the one on his finger, pressing against the metal the way it tended to do when he was nervous or anxious or uneasy. It was the kind of thing that happened more and more often these days, especially after all the shit with Lucio. He didn’t think he’d ever shake the intensified paranoia that had come with his uncle’s return.

It fit, at least. He’d made a guess on their ring size, but… He knew their hands pretty well. He knew what they felt like in his own, knew their weight. He was good at sizing things. Juliana made a joke about it once, but he couldn’t remember the punchline now. The thought of her pulled his eyes back to the road, away from Teddy. He’d torn enough things to shreds already. He didn’t want to add more to the goddamn list.

“Right,” he agreed. He wanted to say querido — he’d used it with Teddy before, after all, so it did feel natural — but it felt more telling than he wanted. It felt like a confession he wasn’t sure he wanted to make, so he said nothing for a moment, stared out the windshield. “Mi amor,” he decided. It was more formal than what he’d normally go with. It felt less real as a result. That was a good thing, he thought. He was probably going to need the reminder. 

The resort stretched out in front of them, and he pulled into a parking spot near the door. “Got the ring on?” He was already getting out of the car as he asked it, circling around to Teddy’s side. When they stepped out, he reached down and took their hand, intertwining their fingers together. “This okay? Need to sell it. They think… uh… I told them we were recién casado, so maybe a lot of touching, if it’s okay. But only if it’s okay. If it’s not, we don’t. Okay?”

—

Teddy’s lips unceremoniously parted, a half-balked shuddered exhale of held breath that fogged up the window in front of them. “Mr. Emilio Jones then.” That time, the words had barely any inflection. For fear of letting the man see the way Ted’s heart conducted the rest of their body. Accelerando! Forte! The ex-demon could imagine the little impish bastard waving around its bloody baton. Bidding their lungs to contract with every breath, their stomach to churn and guts to practically knit themselves into a sign that even fucking aliens could read from outerspace. Shouting to the stars that this game of pretend was too much to bear. 

Twirling the ring wasn’t enough to curb the energy inside. Mindless fingers moved, began to drum along the dashboard. An aimless beat that echoed the symphony inside. Da-ta da-dah, da-ta da-dah. Repeat, repeat. Increasing tempo until he spoke again. Offering another trial for their all too human heart. 

The demon could have survived this. The demon wouldn’t have had to worry about the actual physical effects of being so close, and yet so fucking far away. Teddy wasn’t so sure the human would. They highly doubted this was among the wounds Levi's gift could salve by siphoning off to someone else. 

“Lots of touching, mmn?” Too interested. Too piqued. Almost squeaky. Another cough. “Ah– don’t know how I’m gonna manage that one Cortez, all your knives everywhere, I might get stabbed.” A bit too much in the opposite direction, and yet somehow still sounding as desperate as a sailor on shore leave. 

As if Teddy didn’t like the slight danger that came with Emilio’s hidden arsenal. As if they didn’t know where each one was. As if they weren’t keenly aware of each blade as much as they were keenly aware of just about every inch of the slayer's body. (Nearly all, but not quite.) The subtle bumps and lumps, each detracting from the smooth silhouette, even under the rough leather jacket he normally always wore Teddy could see them as if they weren’t hidden behind layers of fabric. 

Even now, even in the almost-complete suit (though Emilio insisted on his jeans, and honestly Teds wasn’t in a place to argue considering how nice even just the top half all cleaned up was) there were plenty of hidden weapons. With a slip of their finger they could unlodge two or three at a time. 

The idea of playing hopscotch along the man’s skin to avoid those quick releases? Well that had the ex-demon reeling in its own way. Still, they’d do anything for him. They knew that. And maybe, just maybe, tonight that meant acting like they wanted to, instead of how they were supposed to. 

“Well, I guess I can manage it.” It was the after that would break them. “How far away are we now? Gotta be getting close.” 

—

Was that their way of politely declining physical contact? Emilio didn’t want Teddy to feel any kind of obligation here. It was enough that they were helping him out, he didn’t want to make them uncomfortable. In fact, that was just about the last thing he wanted to do. He watched the ex-demon carefully out of the corner of his eye, trying to assure himself that if they were uncomfortable, they’d say so. He wasn’t sure he believed it. Teddy had a tendency to sacrifice their own comfort the moment it meant helping someone else out. All Emilio could do was hope they understood that they didn’t need to do that with him, that he didn’t want things that way. 

He sighed, shifting in his seat a little. “Well, if you cut yourself on one of my knives, we’ll be touching, anyway. Is instant karma, right?” A faint smile, a teasing lilt, and something underneath it that he felt but couldn’t say. There was a lot of that lately. Every interaction since that cabin felt like a minefield, a dance that Emilio wasn’t particularly good at. He’d never had feelings for someone that he hid before. With Juliana, he’d put things out in the open pretty quickly because there’d been no reason not to. She’d been a pretty hunter from a good family, and he’d known his mother would approve, known that loving her would be seen as something done right. 

Of course, there was no one to seek approval from now. Teddy wouldn’t have earned it from Elena Cortez, for a lot of reasons, but they’d hardly be the most disappointing aspect of Emilio’s life in Wicked’s Rest to her. She’d be angry about most of Emilio’s new life. He knew that. He wished he didn’t, sometimes, wished he could pretend that she’d be happy that he was okay, but… The things Lucio told him still weighed heavy on his mind. The truth usually did that.

“We’re here,” Emilio said. “Just follow my lead, okay?” He squeezed their hand, then guided them in the door and to the front desk. The smile he forced onto his face felt unnatural, and he wondered if Teddy could feel his pounding pulse through their connected hands. Could he sell it as being nervous about the case? He wasn’t sure they’d buy it. He’d never been nervous about a case before, after all, and they knew it. He tried to calm his heartbeat, but it was easier said than done.

There was a woman behind the front desk. Young, maybe in her mid-twenties, but the buzz on the back of Emilio’s neck told him that she could very well be much older. He tensed a little, trying not to let it show. The woman behind the front desk was undead, but that wasn’t unexpected. He schooled his features.

“How can I help you?” Her smile was sharp as she glanced between them.

“My partner and I have una reservación. I was here alone a few days ago, and they were feeling a little left out. Right, mi amor?” He nudged Teddy a little. They were better at acting than he was; if he wasn’t able to convince, Teddy certainly would be.

—

Emilio’s words sparked an avalanche of laughter. Starting at first with just a few breathy huffs of air until Teddy’s face was all wrinkled up in a display of pure joy they hadn’t felt since before that damn cabin. Since before the night before they almost died. Since before they realized something had changed and started pretending they didn’t have those deep all consuming feelings for the man. Extending well beyond the fascination of the start. The obsession that pissed Emilio off and made Teddy all the more enticed. All this time they’d been holding themself back, trying so hard to just seem like a good roommate, a decent friend, trying to be respectful, they had forgotten the damn reasons why Emilio was their friend in the first place. 

The joke disarmed them. Caught them off guard. Struck them as far funnier than perhaps it actually was. But the absurdity of the whole situation played a big part in the rolling giggle that even got a slight snort out of them. Of course he had a retort and of course the ‘instant karma’ wasn’t something that Teddy would ever want, but the slayer would always offer. The man had a way of throwing himself on the fire so no one else would ever have to face the flames. Always calling himself a knife when he was more often than not a shield. A blanket. A coat. A hand to lift you up even when it could barely hold itself out of the forge. 

It was Teddy’s turn to give back. 

To be whatever the detective needed. And right now, it was a date. Newly married, infatuated, touchy feely, and happy. They could do that. Could do it half asleep. But they were wide awake now, ready to stop pining and whining about an unrequited lie, and enjoy the company of their deceptively charming, overly caring, funny, wonderful, best, friend. 

With their hands intertwined, Teddy could take on the world. 

The rest was easy. Ted followed suit with every gesture, every whim they had in the past. Playing up the doting partner role very well. “Oh that’s an understatement, zoi mou.” Pet names, they could keep up with that. Hard to remember not to slip in the word they'd used before, but Teds was a linguist after all. A thousand watt smile brightened up the ex-demon’s face, eyes sparkling as they looked upon Emilio’s face with an (only slightly) over exaggerated adoration. Their attention turned to the pretty little thing behind the counter for a moment though, flashing them a wink and a more suggestive smile. “He was telling me all about your amazing amenities, and I got a little jealous. You know?” 

Their lips then found Emilio’s shoulder, laying a quick peck to the fabric there before resting their chin atop, practically draping the rest of themself over him in a swaying side-hug. “What can we expect tonight? Hope there’s dancing.”  

—

Teddy laughed, and it was like the sound of it chased all the tension from the small space of the car. Like there was no room for anything but the breathless sound of their hysteria, the way they were cracking up at a joke that no one else would have found half as funny. It was impossible for Emilio not to smile, not to roll his eyes and shove at their shoulder a little to entice them into settling down before they went inside. His pulse was still pounding, his heart still beating harder than it should have been, but he felt a little more at ease now.

There was no reason to be nervous; Teddy was just as good at this as Emilio suspected they would be. They flashed a smile, they batted their eyes, they called him a name in a language he didn’t understand that made his heart pick up its pace anyway. They were good at selling it. The way they were looking at him now was so convincing, it almost had him fooled. The woman behind the counter didn’t stand a chance, and it was clear that she’d fallen for the scam by the way her face lit up at the sight of Teddy draped around him. 

“Oh,” she cooed, “aren’t the two of you just adorable? Newlyweds, right? I peeked at the file.”

“Yes, that’s right,” Emilio confirmed, looking over at Teddy with a small smile that wasn’t as fake as he wished it were. “Known each other a while. Friends first, but… Hard not to fall for someone like this.” There was too much truth to the statement, too much honesty in the soft expression that skirted across his face. He tore his eyes away, looking back to the woman. “I, uh — I talked to the person on the phone about the deluxe package, I think.” 

This was going to be an odd expense report, but he’d discussed it with the client and they understood the need for it. In order to understand the disappearances, he needed to understand what had led up to them. The best way to find a destination was to go on the journey that led you there, after all.

“Well, lucky for you,” the woman smiled again, looking at Teddy, “the deluxe package does include dancing. But it starts with a spa treatment. Follow me, I’ll lead you to the room!” She took off down the hall, and Emilio moved to follow, Teddy’s hand still tucked away in his. They had to sell the cover, after all.

—

“A spa treatment?” Teddy’s voice rose with an excited inflection while they looked over to Emilio, silently asking if he knew. Their hand wiggled in his, fingers tapping along his knuckles instead of verbally making a joke at the detective’s expense. Or, his clients, apparently. Ted was no stranger to a day of relaxing, of course. Self care (in the most common sense of the term, all pampering, no big emotional talks, obviously) was pretty big in the Jones household. Like lizards basking in the sun, it was just part of their nature. 

Emilio on the other hand? 

Somehow, someway, Theodore Jones came to the logical conclusion that perhaps, just maybe, it was conceivable that Emilio Cortez had never even been to a spa before. “Oh that’s just what we need.” They cooed. Only a little dripping with a sarcasm that was likely to be missed by anyone who didn’t really know the ex-demon. “My hubby here works so hard every day. I keep tellin’ him we need to take some time off. He even worked on our honeymoon, didn’t you love?” 

Okay, so, maybe this was teetering a teensy bit into the teasing category. But hey, that’s how Teds showed their affection, and it wasn’t that uncommon amongst people their age. Plus, it was nice. Getting to sorta… speak their own private language right in front of others. Like with the movie code in the terrible excuse for a torture chamber. 

— 

Emilio knew Teddy well enough to know that their excitement here wasn’t entirely feigned. They were probably delighted at the idea of Emilio having to sit still long enough for a spa treatment, and the detective couldn’t help but huff a little laugh. He had no plans to actually endure the spa treatment, but Teddy would find that out later. For now, he’d let them have their little joke. He gave their hand a squeeze as if to silently reprimand them for it, though it was clear he wasn’t actually annoyed as he followed the woman down the hall.

“And I keep telling them that work doesn’t get done if no one’s doing it,” he added with a roll of his eyes. “Someone has to keep things moving.” It wasn’t really far off from legitimate arguments they’d had in the past; Emilio did a lot of hunting, insisted that it was necessary, that it was his duty to someday die in the line of fire while Teddy argued that it wasn’t, that he was allowed to treat himself with grace sometimes as if he was a thing that deserved that. It felt so much simpler when rearranged to be a pair of newlyweds talking about work.

“Well, no one’s going to be working in here,” the woman teased, opening the door to a treatment room and leading them both inside. “You two get situated. Someone will be back here in fifteen minutes or so.” She put a hand to the side of her face, as if whispering conspiratorially. “A lot of people do this part naked.” With a wink, she ducked out of the room.

The moment the door closed, Emilio was crossing the room to the other side, inspecting the second door. “Come on,” he said, waving Teddy over. “Think this one leads out to the employee area. That’s where we want to do our snooping.” 

—

“And here I was just about to launch into an explanation of the amazing work you did while we were visiting Mykonos. It was a really good story, you know.” Teddy grinned, far too pleased with the sudden twist to be at all bummed about not seeing Emilio’s… bum. Probably for the better anyway. Much too easy to… get into character with those kinds of distractions. 

“Are you sure it’s better for both of us to go?” They had crossed the room, but their attention lingered on the door opposite. With no one here, what if someone came back early? What if they found an empty room with no explanations? What if they opened the door and on the other side an employee was right there? Then again, there were a few good excuses Teddy could think of as to why they’d gone off. “Wait a sec, before we go.” 

The ex-demon pulled their jacket off and unbuttoned their shirt a bit before going over and starting to remove Emilio’s as well. One of their hands found the back of the man’s head, rustling his hair as they worked their palm up from the base of his neck to the very top of his crown. 

Fucking hells. They were close again. Too close. Teddy only realized what they were doing, what the implications were after a beat. Somehow. Despite being the instigator. (At first their mind just went to undressing for the bit. For the massage.) But there was something more to that, wasn’t there? With a hand on the back of his head, images of a passionate kiss flitted through their mind. Their mouth dried at the thought. Wasn’t anyone to put a show on for here, wasn’t something they could do. 

“Can’t– Can’t look like we didn’t try to listen to their rules. Obviously we got… a bit too excited and went to find somewhere private… newlyweds and all.” 

— 

“I’m sure it was,” Emilio replied in a tone full of dry amusement. “But we’re not here to tell stories or get treatments, are we?” They were here to do a job. He had to remind himself of that. They were here to do a job, and anything either of them said or did in the interest of completing that job wasn’t something he ought to read into too much. 

He was already starting on the lock on the door as Teddy spoke, the lockpick kit slipping from his pocket and into his hand as he made quick work of it. It was a cheap lock; for all the illegal activity he suspected went on here, no one was overly concerned with keeping people away. He figured the staff assumed that people wouldn’t think to look. After all, they weren’t exactly pulling in naturally distrustful people, and there was nothing outwardly sketchy about the business model. “I don’t want to split up. We don’t know where people are…”

He trailed off as Teddy came close, faltering a little. Their hands were unbuttoning his shirt, moving in his hair. Emilio’s mouth felt dry, eyes blinking as they darted down to Teddy’s chest, exposed thanks to their own unbuttoned shirt. It was only when they spoke that he understood what they were doing. If they got caught, they could pretend they’d started to undress as instructed, only to grow distracted enough to find the need to sneak off to…

Emilio cleared his throat. “Good thinking,” he said with a nod, pushing the door open. “Probably wouldn’t be the first. Uh, we should…” He trailed off again, ducking off into the hall and grabbing Teddy’s hand to pull them along. It wasn’t necessary without an audience and he knew it, but he could make up an excuse if he had to. He was good at that. “This way,” he mumbled, taking off down the hall. “Look for doors on the other side of the wall. Those won’t go to treatment rooms, I think.”

—

Composure. Calm. Laser like focus. These were things that no one had ever accused Teddy of being particularly adept with. Observant, sure. But only because their eyes never stopped wandering. That observancy caught the cough, the uncomfortable shift, but the air head behind the detection assumed it was because they had done something wrong. That they'd stepped a bit too far without asking first. They'd like to say it was for time, that they didn't know when the employees would be back. Simple. Obvious. Teddy didn't have time to stop and explain before they started unbuttoning the slayer's shirt. But they knew it was that other thing. He probably knew it too. The impulsive whirl that dragged the ex-demon along by their heart. 

The same heart that leapt to the most insidious of emotions, hope, when the detective grabbed their hand again. Pulling them through the door, clearly trying his best to make sure their cover was safe if someone else was just beyond the threshold. Thorough, Cortez. The thought swam amongst the million fantasies, grounding Teddy to the reality that this was a job. It was a job. It was a job.

A few of the doors only led to closets. Plenty of towels, lotions, and massage tools, not a whole lot of missing couples. The pair worked well together, taking on the space in tandem. Making quick work of every possible hiding spot, crossing them off the list then heading to the next one. “So far, so good.” It hushed out of Teddy's mouth in  Spanish. A pretty dangerous thing to say, as it were. Dramatic irony had a way of rearing its ugly head wherever someone dare speak its favored phrase. 

Footsteps. As if on cue.

Teddy caught the subtle click of one of the doors farther behind them and grabbed Emilio by the shoulder, whisking him around and through the closest door to the right. Another closet, probably, only it was slightly bigger than the others. Good. Better to hide in. Less towels. Less light, too. Teddy couldn't even see what was actually in the room. The other non-closets had windows, but Ted couldn't tell if this one was too small for them, or if they were somehow blacked out. They were only barely able to make out the shape of Emilio, who they had pulled in close… again. Their breath stopped. They'd blame it on the fear of being caught, but hells knew it wasn't that. They were chest to chest, their arm still coiled around his. Teddy could feel his jaw resting against their cheek. 

They were pretty sure their heart stopped too. 

Completely frozen. Well. Except for their one free hand. Feeling for anything along the wall that would explain something about the room. Literally anything to get their mind somewhere safer. Somewhere where the flood of unwanted feelings wouldn't crowd out logic, wouldn't stop them from thinking. This was a job. It was a job. It was a goddamn job. 

A conversation was happening outside, whoever had walked into the hallway was evidently chatting with someone else, and while Teddy couldn't quite hear every word, there was something about the bosses, and something else about ‘special candidates’. Didn't sound… particularly spa related. But it offered a nice distraction until Ted found something solid. But that only offered another mystery. Smooth wood. Some kind of metal handle. It almost felt like an oddly ornate refrigerator, but that hardly made sense at all. Hopefully the slayer's senses would give them some more clarity as the talking outside persisted. 

—

Of course the second Teddy said things were running more smoothly, someone would come along to challenge that. It was like some unspoken rule of the world that applied especially thoroughly to Emilio’s life — things never stayed good for long. It wasn’t Teddy’s fault, of course. They probably weren’t familiar with the universe’s hobby of shitting on Emilio Cortez. None of the irritation he felt was directed towards the ex-demon, even as they pulled him into the nearest door to avoid being caught. But when that door shut between the two of them and the hallway, when Emilio found himself closed into a small, dark space…

His heart was pounding in his chest, his mouth dry for reasons that, this time, had nothing to do with Teddy’s proximity. The fact that his senses were screaming about the presence of nearby undead didn’t help. If anything, it made the situation all the worse. Emilio was six years old, was shoved into a tiny shed with a hungry ghoul, was sitting with his kneed to his chest for hours or days or weeks just waiting for someone to come let him out. There were voices outside getting closer, there was something smooth against his hand. 

He turned to look at it, sharp eyes cutting through the darkness with ease. Smooth, shiny, tall. A casket? Were it not for the panic of the claustrophobia tightening its hands around his throat, he would have figured it out sooner. As it was, he realized what sort of room they were in just a heartbeat before those voices got closer, just a moment before there was a hand on the doorknob outside. Emilio’s eyes found Teddy’s, wide and uncertain. “I’m sorry about this,” he mumbled. “You can punch me later, if you want.”

It was the only warning he had time to give before he was pulling them in closer, shifting the angle and twisting around to press their back against the coffin and press his lips against theirs. He kissed them hungrily, desperately, one hand in their hair and the other twisting in the fabric of their shirt. He pushed himself against them, pinning them in place and letting out a small sound from the back of his throat. 

He didn’t know how much of it was an act. He didn’t know if any of it was.

Behind him, the door to the room opened, bathing them in light.

—

The line between fantasy and reality shattered in a second. There was no time for shock, there was barely any time at all. It could have been just a blink, it could have been hours. Emilio was kissing them. Electric shivers ran down from the point of contact. Emilio was kissing them. Setting Teddy’s skin ablaze with goosebumps. Emilio was kissing them. Their chest rose to meet his and in an instant he was pinning them against the smooth surface behind them. Emilio was kissing them. A yelp of surprise and sudden elation rose from their throat. Emilio was kissing them.

Fuck.

The only place for their legs to go was between and around his, their arms acted on their own. One frantically, desperately searching for the bottom of Emilio's shirt. Tearing, not tugging, at the fabric. Not wanting anything at all between them. The other, roughly cupping his face as they returned the kiss in kind. 

Their fingers hungrily pressed into whatever skin they could find, almost like they were trying to somehow bring him closer, keep him there. Anchored. Smooth cheeks ran into rough stubble, the skin on his lower back was warm and already damp with sweat. Teddy's was likely the same. Their left hand found his hip, and with their thumb pressing into the front of the bone and the rest of their fingers curled behind, they pulled him in closer, closer, closer. 

They were starving, and he was a feast.

There was no space for thought. There was nothing rational about this. Teddy was lost to the sensation, to the dream. When it faded, when they woke, doubt would worm its way through each and every memory. Tainting the scene with something far less glorious. Something imperfect. This wasn't– for him, it wasn't anything. 

But it consumed Teddy. 

Everything, just everything this whole year had been leading to. A haggard climax of obsession and passion, untethered. Their head tilted, leaned into his hand, into his lips. There was a faint whimper at the back of their throat, entirely unintentional as they struggled for breath but were completely unwilling to let go. Even when the door opened, even when the voices came. Muffled and blurred, Teddy couldn't hear them. Not over the sound of their own heart beat. Not over the blood pumping through their ears, through their hands struggling and shaking, through… other things that Emilio would surely have felt. Teddy paid no mind to the strangers until a hand reached in to separate them. 

They almost growled at it. 

—

Somehow, the kiss felt both neverending and far too brief. Emilio practically melted into Teddy, desperate to feel their hands on him as he pressed against them as much as he possibly could. Their fingers touched the bare skin of his back as they found their way under his shirt, tearing at the fabric there. He heard something rip, but he couldn’t figure out if it was Teddy’s clothing or his own. He wasn’t really sure how much it mattered.

Teddy was as good at this as they had been at the display at the front desk. Their hands explored Emilio’s body with the same ease as the pet name slipped between their lips to fool the woman who’d checked them in, and he wondered if he ought to come up with some excuse as to why he was so convincing. Wouldn’t Teddy wonder? Emilio wasn’t much of an actor, after all. Undercover work wasn’t something he did often, and when he tried it it was always clunky and uncomfortable. But there was nothing forced about this, and wouldn’t Teddy be suspicious about that? Wouldn’t they figure it all out? 

He didn’t have long to spiral. There were other hands on him now, hands that didn’t belong to Teddy. They were cold, they made his skin crawl. That sensation on the back of his neck, the one he’d listened to all his life when he needed to know if something undead was near, was screaming at him now. He’d somehow forgotten about it during the kiss, like it wasn’t there at all. Those hands yanked him away from Teddy, and he let himself be pulled up for air, positive that he looked just like he was supposed to look to sell this lie — flushed, desperate, disappointed. He was panting a little, and it wasn’t feigned. None of it was. 

A man looked between the two of them with wide eyes. “What are you two doing in here?”

“What do you think?” Emilio replied, glancing back to Teddy. “We were getting undressed for our spa treatment, but… We wanted to find someplace we wouldn’t be, ah… Disturbed. We thought…” He looked around, let his eyes widen at the sight of the coffin as if this was the first he was seeing of it. “Whoa, what is this room?”

The man followed his gaze before scrambling to yank the pair of them out of the small room and into the hall. The door to the room slammed shut, closing the casket away. “Come with me,” the man ordered, grabbing Emilio by the shoulder any forcing him forward. “Both of you. I’m taking you to meet Roland.”

Finally. Someone with authority would know more, and they wouldn’t be suspecting anything if pressed. Emilio shot a glance back to Teddy.

—

This was not a sweet release. It was violent despite how little hurt they intended by separating the pair. Teddy was left breathless, shuddering, hands still clinging to the slayer like he was the only thing keeping them attached to the earth. He had to notice. He had to have known this was more than just acting. That something in Teddy burned for him. In the past they had compared him to the sun, if that was still true, they wanted nothing more than to be his moon. An eternal dance, round and round through the cosmos. Reflecting the light back so that he might see how he makes others shine. How he makes the people around him better. 

This was where their acting faltered. When you were caught, you were supposed to be embarrassed. Right? You were supposed to be something other than desperate for more. Maybe. Teddy wasn’t exactly sure. Never been caught in the back of a couples club that had a fucking casket in a breakroom before. They’d never really been one to shy away from shit, either. They’d been caught making out with plenty of folks during their teen years. One on each continent at least. 

(The Arctics were the hardest, but a surprising number of supernatural families make their homes that far away from human civilizations, and a young demon with a distaste for the cold and an endless need for fun found just that. A way to be warm, and entertained.) Still, for the life of them they couldn’t remember the emotions you were supposed to have in that moment of shock.

Instead they just stood there, dumbstruck. Like Emilio had sucked the very last brain cell from their noggin, like they weren’t hearing the employees at all. Didn’t care that they were being carted off to meet some… Roland. Whoever that was. A decidedly un-sexy name. Roland. Ugh. Couldn’t the staff just have waited a second more before breaking it up? 

Teddy’s tongue poked out and ran along their lips, savoring whatever taste was left. Wasn’t likely to happen again, and the giddy adrenaline was starting to sour, to shift back into focus as a fleeting thing. Remembering what was at stake, remembering why it had happened. The sparks around their heads were one sided. The way their heart jumped was a solo dance. One Teddy might remember for the rest of their damn life. 

One they wished he’d do again. 

“Sooo–” Their throat was hoarse, froggy. Couldn’t quite make out the word without croaking at least once. “Does this mean no dancing, or..?” 

— 

It was a good thing. It was a good thing that they’d been broken apart, that they were being led to a conversation with someone who might be useful. Emilio repeated this to himself like a mantra, trying to make himself believe it, but it was difficult. As much as he’d hated the tight space of the ‘break room,’ he missed the feeling of Teddy’s lips against his, of their hands on his bare skin. And he hated himself a little for missing it, for not remembering the importance of maintaining a safe distance. All a knife was good for was slicing, and hadn’t Teddy bled enough already? 

He snorted as Teddy spoke, an involuntary thing. The man gripping his shoulder shot a glare between the two of them, though it looked more like the kind of expression a nonhunter parent might give two misbehaving teenagers than it did something a criminal might give someone who’d learned too much. That probably meant their cover hadn’t yet been blown. “We’ll leave that for Roland to decide.”

He marched them down the hallway to a heavy wooden door, the warning bells of nearby undead never leaving Emilio’s head. At the door, the man knocked three times before opening it, revealing an office with a large desk and a man behind it. The man looked decidedly unamused, elbows resting on the table with his chin settled atop his clasped hands. “Leave us,” he said in a deep rumble. The man who’d led Emilio and Teddy to the room nodded and fluttered away. It was only when the door shut behind him that Emilio noticed the presence of another person in the corner. Their eyes stayed locked on the man he assumed was Roland, even with the presence of two strangers in the room. Emilio took note of it.

“My staff tells me the two of you have a hard time… keeping your hands to yourself,” Roland commented, pushing himself from his chair. He crossed the room, and Emilio tried to keep himself from tensing too noticeably even as the paranoia began to claw at his chest. “You’re not in any trouble. In fact, I think it makes you good candidates for… the next level of package we offer here.”

“Oh, the package we got was pretty pricey,” Emilio piped up. “I’m not sure we could afford the next level.”

“It’s complementary,” Roland assured him, reaching out to grip the slayer’s face in his hand. He tilted Emilio’s head to the side, inspecting him for… something. Emilio couldn’t pretend to know what, but he knew he didn’t like it. Still… he was familiar enough with this sort of thing to remain stock-still and let it happen, even as discomfort raged like an animal in his gut.

—

Everything past the door was all a bit culty. Not the same as the folks back at Moosehead or whatever Wynne's hometown was called. More…….. MLM style cult. Modern. What Teddy didn't understand was how someone named Roland of all things could possibly be a charismatic central figure. Roland. Ugh. Ted realized as they entered the room at the end of the long twisting hallway that they might always hold a grudge against that name now. Didn't even matter if they were the CEO of missing couples or not. There would always be just a mountain of ick. 

All the while, Teddy was glad for the hand holding theirs. If they hadn't been gripeing about the terribly named boss, and pining over the loss of another chance to…act… Teddy might have actually found some time to be scared. It was still such a foreign thing, fear. They had grown up being the apex of apex predators. Their father had literally outlived every species on earth, and they were a part of it. The Leviathan's ward, who was meant to spend forever with it. Why would it teach them fear? 

No, that emotion usually only came knocking for other people. But Emilio could hold his own in any fight, they'd seen it. They loved watching it. Still, there was something making the man tense in a way that Teddy didn't think had anything at all to do with getting caught, or being angry that someone would name their child Roland. A different kind of instinct, one they had seen only once or twice. The first of which was meeting Rhonda’s wife. Because she was undead. 

Teddy may have been in a bit of a foggy blissful haze, but even they saw the caskets. Didn't take much to put two and two together. Vampires. Great. 

Roland was already on Ted's nerves before they got to the remote room, but once he started to speak it got a little harder to play the woeful partner who just wanted a bit more time with their new husband. The man was looking at Emilio like he was a meal. It was hard to tear their eyes away, harder to keep the spiking rage quelled underneath their mask. “Hey!” Still, there was a limit to what normal people would let happen too. Teddy reminded themself that jealousy was something many young couples fought with. “Why are you touching my husband like that?!” There was a petulance to their performance, like a toddler angry that someone else had the toy they wanted. It was meant to provoke ire, and it did. 

Roland (ugh) shot a calculating glare over at Teddy. Something that had all the components of a smile gracing those hungry lips. “Why don't you go take a seat over there, Mr…?” The vampire grinned, waiting for his answer. It was clear the strange man wanted Teddy to be scared. And they played the part perfectly. Wide eyed, scrambling, sputtering words of protest before Roland (gross) insisted and Ted complied. Not without showing Emilio that this was a good thing though. The desk (where the boss man had just motioned for them to sit at) had some documents scattered about. Some of them were even open. Didn't particularly look country club related. They tapped their foot twice against the side of Emilio's before cowering over to the other chair. Still begging for the man to just let them go. 

—

As much as he disliked the way Roland was gripping his jaw, Emilio found he hated the man turning his sights on Teddy just a little more. He let out a quiet hum as Teddy spoke up, something he hoped the ex-demon would understand to mean that it was fine, that this was the plan. He still played the part of the nervous husband, of course, of a man worried that he’d gone a little too far in his quest to enjoy his new marriage in a public space. He didn’t think Roland — or the other figure in the room — suspected anything, but he also wasn’t sure that this would save them from whatever it was that was building here. None of the missing couples who’d disappeared within these walls were hunters, as far as he knew. It hadn’t stopped them from vanishing. 

Teddy moved to follow Roland’s instructions and, instinctively, Emilio tried to follow. Stumbling feet started towards the desk only to be stopped short by the tight grip on his jaw growing tighter and a leg moving out to block his path. “Not you,” Roland hummed. “I think we need to put a little bit of space between you and your partner. You both seem to have a hard time paying attention when the other is near, don’t you? I can’t say I don’t relate. My love and I are the same.” He looked up to the figure across the room, who slipped out from the shadows. 

She was tall. Taller than Emilio, and taller than Roland, too. The heels clicking on the tile seemed to offer a reason as to why, though Emilio suspected she’d still be towering without them. They crossed over to meet Roland — and, by extension, Emilio — where he stood, and the two leaned in to one another for a quick peck on the lips. Emilio’s eyes darted to Teddy in the chair, to the documents spread out on the desk in front of them. Right. There had to be something useful there. Emilio just needed to make sure Teddy had time to find it.

(And it was better, he thought, that Teddy was the one looking. Emilio wasn’t a very strong reader; it often took him hours to comprehend a single document, especially if it was written in English.)

Letting his eyes settle on Roland and his partner, Emilio shifted his weight and did his best to look uncomfortable. With the ever-present sensation of the undead hand gripping his jaw, it wasn’t particularly hard. “You mentioned… a level up on our package. For free. What exactly does this include? I think we’ll need to know before we decide if we want it.”

—

“But the decision has already been made, love.” The woman spoke up, a strange accent clinging to her words. A bit unplaceable. Maybe Eastern European? Teddy wasn't sure. “You already got our attention with your passion. Cannot squander such a rare gem. Don't you think so, darling? We just wish to see if it will last.” Mrs. Roland wasn't shedding any of the culty allegations with that kind of talk. What did she think this was? Some late night thriller? 

Now wasn't the time for critiquing someone's villain monologue. 

Teddy would have plenty of time to make fun of these assholes when they were safe, sound, and not being propositioned for something awful. Then again, looks weren't everything. Teddy of all people should know that, when they met Emilio, they looked about as bad and cheesy as Mr. and Mrs. Teeth over there. Maybe they were just about to tell them they liked their vibe and wanted to know if Emilio and Teddy wanted to swing. 

If only his name wasn't Roland. 

The documents on the table started painting a much different story though. Quiet as a rat, Teddy scanned through them. Didn't take long to find some of the names they were looking for. There were columns. Like the vampires had been studying the couples. Like they'd been experimenting with something. Teddy wasn't quite sure what until they found the first “success” listing. One Mrs. and Mrs. Patel, two women barely in their thirties. The first was listed as Nina, marked under the resisted category for a full week. The other, Masha, listed as unbroken. Until they were both put into the turned category. 

Fucking hell, what were they doing here? 

Seeing the documents wasn't enough. They couldn't quite parse the story completely on their own. But it didn't take much to understand that whatever it was they had planned was vile. While the pair of (decidedly not swinger) vampires (though… turning others didn't necessarily rule that out, just sort of added a much more complicated and fucked up layer and power dynamic to it that was even more gross.) appraised Emilio, Teddy's eyes ran over the table and they started silently grabbing everything they could. Shoving it in their pockets for later use. Thankfully, the pockets were deep. One part excellent tailoring, another, much more important part, enchanted thanks to one of Teddy's owed favors. Thank you, Magical Michael. Big enough to hide papers in, and pull a whole wooden stake out of. 

Eyes were still on Emilio, good. But Teddy was by no means a hunter. They'd only get one shot at one of them. Hopefully Em would give enough of a distraction that they could get close. And the dusting of one would give the slayer plentiful opportunity to get the other. 

—

He was careful not to look directly at Teddy. He didn’t want to draw any attention to the way they were rifling through the material on the desk, didn’t want to give them away even if it meant standing stiller than he’d like and closer to the pair of vampires than he was comfortable with. Nothing about what Roland or his partner was saying felt right. Nothing about it was doing anything for the knot in Emilio’s stomach or the paranoia itching for a release. He reminded himself, again, that this was what they were here for. That they’d needed to get the attention of the people in charge in order to figure out what, exactly, they were in charge of. It wasn’t doing much for his discomfort, but Teddy looked to be making some progress, in any case.

“I don’t see it going away any time soon,” Emilio replied, unable to keep his eyes from sliding to Teddy as he said it. Thankfully, the vampires didn’t seem to have any interest in following his gaze. They expected him to look to his ‘partner’ in moments like this, after all; their ‘passion’ was what had landed them here. “I feel the way I feel about them now. I’ll feel it tomorrow, too. Every day after, I think, until they put me in the ground. And maybe then, too.” It was truer than he’d care to admit. 

When Emilio latched on to someone, he never really let go. Juliana’s name was still carved into his heart, even years after she was gone. He’d still kill for Rhett, even on the days when it felt like his brother hated him. The way Teddy’s hand had felt in his had sent his heart into an overdrive he doubted would ever fully leave him. Love, for Emilio, was something that only ever existed in the present tense. It didn’t fade, didn’t go anywhere even if the object of it was gone. Even if it wasn’t returned. 

He forced his eyes back to Roland, who was smiling with too many teeth. Like a shark, like a bear, like something that was just looking for the best place to take a bite. “I really think you mean that,” he said earnestly, looking to his partner. “You have honest eyes. I can feel your dedication. Do you think they feel the same?”

As he said it, his partner shot across the room towards Teddy. It looked like they’d finished up at the desk, at least, though Emilio hadn’t seen what all they’d accomplished. He saw the stake in their hand, but he didn’t think either of the vampires did; they were both far too busy with other things. “Do you think they love you enough to resist making a meal of you?” Roland hummed, turning to position himself so that he was looking at Teddy and his partner while maintaining his grip on Emilio. “It would be a challenge. You look like quite the tasty little morsel, you know. All rugged and hardened. I find it’s people like you whose blood sings the most. I’m having a hard time not having a taste myself, and I’ve been at this a while. But them… How long do you think they’ll be able to hold themself back?” 

Roland’s partner moved towards Teddy, eyes red and fangs at the ready. Emilio tried again to dart forward, but the position he was held in made it difficult. Roland tightened his grip, the hand not holding Emilio’s jaw in place moving to wrap around Emilio’s throat instead. Not enough pressure to cut off airflow, but if he thrashed the way he wanted to, that would clearly change. “Just watch,” Roland said in his ear. “This is the easy part.”

—

“Fuck you.” Teddy practically screamed at them, the vitriol burning acidic in their mouth. Neither vampire seemed to notice the missing papers, or the fact that their stance left everything in their right hand squarely out of view. “I don't know what the hell is going on here–” they lied, “but I– I'd never hurt him, How fucking dare you.” then told the truth. Their stomach was in actual knots. That wasn't pretend. Emilio’s speech had brought back a wave of that insidious hope then dashed it across the razor shoals. It was acting, it was still just acting. Playing the part until the right moment. “He's the best thing that ever happened to me. He makes me better. I'm– I'm lost without him–” They continued. Somehow unable to stop the truth tumbling out. “Just let us go. Please.” 

“Ah, well, you better be good at holding back then. If you are, then you'll get a treat, isn't that right Angela?” Roland stood behind Emilio, looking fondly over at his partner, still stalking Teddy like this wasn't a twenty by fifteen room at most. 

Every goddamn thing out of the vampires’ mouths had a perfect retort, only Teddy couldn't sling them without giving themself away. No, they still had to act terrified. That's what a human would be in this situation, right? Their mind turned to the pages and pages of people, couples that they clearly did this exact song and dance with. They thought of how scared they must have been. How confusing this mess would be if you had no idea that vampires were real. Was it some kind of fucked up test? A deadly newlyweds game, where one would be turned and the other devoured if they couldn't resist? What happened to the ones who had turned to hunger, to instinct? What happened to the ones who didn't? The anticipation welling up in their chest churned further into fury. One that started to seep through the cracks of their frightful facade. 

The tall woman was drawing closer, clearly getting her kicks from the assumed theatrics of it all. Teddy knew how fast vampires could move if they wanted to. But this was a creeping crawl comparatively. 

“Don't worry dear, we believe you.” Her voice was a smooth velvet, a stark contrast to the burning red eyes and sharpened fangs she bared. Angela was excited about this. Which only made Teddy hate her more. “You're in love, not just passion. We know what it looks like. You'll pass the test with flying colors, yes?” She grinned.

“It will only hurt a moment. Then you shall have forever, together. Isn't that lovely?” She was looming over them now. Close enough that Teddy's rapid breath bounced back at them, but she still hadn't seen the stake. Well hidden just behind their back. Just out of view. “Well, if you can overcome that pesky hunger, sweetie. Though I know you will.” 

It was her turn to coo as she appraised her next victim. Strong hands held Teddy in place, but then one moved to tilt their head, to expose their neck. Their eyes widened, a shuddering quakey whimper escaped their throat. Playing the part, playing the part. Teeth pierced skin, blood was drawn, and so was the stake. 

Immediately the vampire realized something was wrong. She grasped at her own neck, weeping now from the wound Teddy’s power had reflected back onto her. Angela found it quite hard to remove herself, to stop the damage she was doing to her own body. Frantically she clawed, only to have those marks appear on her as well. Roland screamed, howling in shock as the tide turned so fervently it was hard to tell what was going on. 

It was Teddy who was grinning now. The shark toothed maw under blackened eyes. In one quick thrust, the stake plunged deep into Angela's chest and she burst into a cloud of dust. Good fucking riddance. 

—

It hurt a little. Listening to Teddy say what they were saying, knowing that it was all an act… Emilio should have thought this through a little better. Would it have hurt less if he’d brought Jade instead? Or someone else, someone whose part in the game would have required Emilio to do a bit more acting? He didn’t think he would have gotten this far with someone he saw only as a friend, didn’t think he could have kept up the lie if it were more of a lie. Teddy was an actor. He knew that. They rearranged parts of themself whenever it became necessary, shed some pieces and picked up others. He’d seen it in action more than once. Teddy was an actor, but Emilio wasn’t. It was like Roland had said — he had honest eyes. He always ended up giving away a little more than he meant to. 

“Let go of me,” he seethed, struggling to hold on to the illusion as Roland’s partner — Angela, apparently — made her way towards Teddy. “We don’t want any part of this. Let us go, we won’t tell anyone anything.” It wasn’t a total lie; they probably wouldn’t tell anyone what happened here, but they wouldn’t leave anyone alive, either.

“You may not want a place here,” Roland said, “but you’ve earned one. You should be proud. We only bring on the best of the best, you know. The strongest couples, the ones who last. Eternity after a divorce is awkward, you know.” The intentions, if they’d been unclear before, were pretty obvious now. They were going to turn Teddy, and starve them, then lock them in a room with Emilio. And… what? Wait to see if they’d let their hunger win out over their love? Try to turn Emilio after? They’d be in for a harsh surprise there, of course, but he’d given them no reason to suspect that he was a slayer. 

Angela moved in, teeth sinking into the side of Teddy’s neck, and Emilio let out an angry cry. He knew, of course, that Teddy would be fine. Their healing had gotten them out of tougher situations than this one, and they still had the stake. But seeing them hurt, even knowing the pain wouldn’t last long, sent Emilio into a state all the same. He twisted in Roland’s grip, not pausing when the hand on his throat tightened enough to cut off airflow. He could hold his breath; he was good at that.

The tides turned quickly. Angela felt the effects of Teddy’s healing, then felt the effects of their stake. Roland seemed to have some interest in revenge, removing his hand from Emilio’s throat to throw him to the ground and position himself on top of the slayer, teeth replacing fingers at Emilio’s neck. Emilio let it happen, let the fangs slide into the skin, let his toxic blood hit the vampire’s tongue. The moment it did, Roland hissed and tore himself away, stumbling backwards as the blood burned him, and Emilio pushed himself up. 

“A slayer?” The vampire had the gall to sound outraged, as if he’d been betrayed. Emilio managed to get his feet beneath him again, ignoring the flare of protest from his knee.

“A good one,” he replied. “Don’t worry. It will only hurt for a moment. Then you and your partner will have forever together.” With the vampire’s own words settling into place as a reflection, Emilio surged forward and allowed his stake to land in Roland’s chest as the punctuation. He twisted it cruelly, eyes meeting Roland’s until the moment the vampire’s face collapsed into dust.

The dust collapsed, the slack holding the stake in place disappeared. Emilio let his hand drop, skillfully tucking the stake back into his jacket where he’d retrieved it from before stepping over the pile of dust to Teddy. He put a hand on the side of their neck, tilting their head to inspect the already-gone wound left by Angela’s teeth. Clicking his tongue, he tapped a finger against their skin before pulling back. “I don’t think there will be any dancing,” he commented. “Or spa treatments. Sad. What did the files say? The missing couples…” He trailed off. He had some suspicion of what had happened here. The rapport between Angela and Roland had been too practiced for Teddy and Emilio to have been its first audience. Which probably meant…

Emilio sighed. “Where do you think they put them?”

—

Everything happened so quickly Teddy didn't stop to think until it was over. Until Emilio had turned the vampires’ words back around. Full circle. Until he'd dispatched Roland and crossed the distance between. Emilio's hands were on them now, they could feel the very last dregs of pain ebb away into his touch. They almost pulled away, but– but when would they get this close again? Selfishly, Teddy leaned into the touch. There were no eyes to watch them anymore, no reason to keep up the ruse, and maybe Emilio would remind them of that, but until he did… well they wouldn't have forever, now would they? 

“Well you can always take me dancing to repay me. Or give me a massage, you got strong enough fingers.” A little smile sat at the corners of their mouth. A hand came up to join his, covering it and curling their fingers into his palm. I meant what I said. They wanted to say. They wanted to explain everything. They wanted to kiss him. Wanted to ignore the rest of this mission for just a little bit longer and just be in the moment with him but–

But he had a stronger resolve. He still cared about the people, some of whom might be in danger. He was a better man than them. Teddy nodded to his question, fishing the papers from their pockets before going back to the desk and displaying them all out. “Didn't know how much of a getaway we'd have, so I just grabbed them. Let's take a closer look though.” Their voice was hoarse now. A bit gravely as their power went back to resting. As they tried to put a cap on the emotions still flooding their brain. 

“Though, one of the names… Penny, wasn't that the woman at the front desk?” Her partner was listed as deceased, and Teddy had seen the way Emilio tensed when they first arrived. How the fuck had they kept her around after doing something like that to her? Their brows knit upwards. “That was a while back though… don't know where the… freshly turned ones are.” Teddy paused for a moment until a new expression dawned on them. “Am I gonna turn into a vampire?”

—

“I don’t think dancing with me is much of a reward. What is it they say? Two wrong feet?” He was a little too selfish to pull away as their hand found his again, even if there was no one left to fool. Part of him wanted to make up some excuse — that there might be more people who would need to be convinced, that they should keep up the act — but he knew there was no way to make any of it sound true. It would be obvious to anyone who found Angela and Roland missing or saw the piles of dust in the office what had happened here. If there was anyone left who was a part of this, the charade would be a useless shield to maintain. Emilio knew that. Still, the desire was there.

The remaining victims would make for a good distraction. He looked down at the paper Teddy pulled from their pocket, absently wiping the blood away from the side of his neck as he stared down at the page. He forced the letters to come together, translated the words in his head into things he better understood. It seemed his suspicion was a good one. He and Teddy hadn’t been the first recruited to play into the couple’s ‘game.’ They were, however, luckier than the other pairs. It looked like at least a few of them had been turned, and — Christ. There were words beside some of the names that indicated the ‘test’ had been failed. Some of these people had come here for a romantic weekend and eaten their partners instead. Emilio couldn’t imagine how it must have felt. 

Absently, he nodded. “She’s a vampire,” he confirmed. “Could have been compelling her to do what they want. Or just… made her think there was no place else to go.” If she’d killed her partner, it wouldn’t have been hard, he thought. Manipulation wasn’t hard when someone felt they had few options available. Emilio thought of Zane, grimacing. “Maybe she’ll have more information, or maybe she’ll kill us for turning her bosses to dust. Not sure I want to risk it. I think we look ourselves at first, see if we can find anything that doesn’t belong.” He looked up from the papers, noting the odd look on Teddy’s face. At their question, he let out a small huff of a laugh. “No. Takes a lot more than one bite to do that, querido. You’ll be just fine. So will these people, if we can find them. I think I have somewhere they can go.”

If anyone would understand the struggle these people were bound to be dealing with, it would be Zane. And he’d said he wanted a chance to help, so… Emilio would give him that. Maybe having a few fledgling vampires to babysit would keep him from nagging Emilio so often, too. “Come on.” He pulled away from Teddy reluctantly to head towards the door. “Let’s start looking.”

—

“Right– yeah, let's– let's look.” Teddy sighed and hoped it would just come across as a tired bit of relief, rather than reality coming back and hitting hard. Their eyes drifted downward until their mind replayed the phrasing Emilio had used. Including the same term he'd used before. It didn't…quite add up. Each instance had been when he was a little out of it, or didn't realize Teddy knew Spanish. But– but this shit? This was Emilio’s bread and butter. Being a detective, snooping around, this was where he was at the top of his game. Maybe his mind slipped it in because of the rush of things, maybe he didn't. They couldn't possibly know. But those big brown eyes found his for just a second before they followed him through the door. 

Ask. 

They wanted to. Hells knew they fucking wanted to. What was worse, sitting there, writhing in their skin, cursed to bare the bliss of the memory of his lips? Or to be bluntly rejected. Told the cold hard truth. Teddy knew most people found them to be too much. Teddy knew that almost everyone went away in the end. But the wound was starting to seep outward. It had to be obvious. It was so obvious. Jade noticed, Nora noticed, hell even that kid Van noticed. So Emilio must have, right? Right?!

Just ask.

The ex-demon’s mind was clearly elsewhere as they went about their search. The records kept were the thorough, and after a little more investigation, they found a much more secure section of the resort. Much more isolated, and much darker. Almost as if it were made for creatures of the night. Teddy stuck close to Emilio. Once again pretending it was the circumstances that led them there and not selfishness. Not greed. Clumsily, their hand fished around for his. Human eyes and a lack of undead sensing abilities made them practically useless here. Unfortunately. 

“Anything..?”

—

He tried to keep his mind on the case as they moved through the building. It was something easier said than done. He kept going back to that room with the coffin, to their lips on his and their hands on his back. Or to Roland’s hand locked around his throat and Teddy’s words cutting through, their utter offense at the idea that they’d ever hurt Emilio, that they’d ever make a meal out of someone they loved. It had been a good act. A convincing one. Even now, the slayer found himself questioning things. He knew Teddy found him attractive, of course; they’d made no secret of that. He even knew Teddy had a habit of flirting with him from time to time, but it was like he’d told Jade — Teddy flirted with everyone. And even if they did feel a certain kind of way about him, even if they were beginning to return the feelings Emilio kept locked down deep… how selfish would he have to be to allow it? How monstrous, how unforgivable? If Emilio was anything, he was a bomb. He was shrapnel and explosives just waiting to tear to shreds anyone or anything close enough to the blast to get caught up in it. Even the best case scenario would inevitably see Teddy burying him one day. Emilio didn’t want that for them.

But he wanted… he wanted. He ached with how much he wanted. Distraction was better, he thought. Distraction was what he needed. 

So he focused on the walls around them, the way the building changed from pleasant resort to something that looked a lot more like a serial killer’s basement. Doors went from wood to harsher metal in a way that seemed promising; a wooden door would never hold back a new vampire for long, especially not a hungry one. He hummed as Teddy spoke, focusing his attention on that feeling he got. Right now, it was absent. “Not yet,” he said. “But I think we’re going in the right…” 

There. 

Emilio stopped abruptly, holding out an arm to motion for Teddy to do the same. It was faint, still, so he took a few steps forward, let it pull him. Down the hall a few more steps and… a door. He stopped in front of it, leaning towards the metal. He put an ear to it, listened inside, then turned back to Teddy. “Stay behind me,” he said quietly. “There’s something in there, but I don’t know what. And… We don’t know if they’ve been fed, if they are one of our missing people. They can’t drain me, but they could hurt you. They might not even mean to. So… Back. Yes?”

When Teddy confirmed, Emilio pulled the lockpick kit from his pocket again and began working on the lock. It was more complex than the one in their spa room had been, but he’d gotten good at this. He moved carefully, but quickly, until… click. With another wary glance back at Teddy, he pulled open the door.

[UNSANITARY DESCRIPTION START]

The man inside looked to be in his late thirties. He sat in the far corner of the room; Emilio’s sharp eyes cut through the shadows to find bags of blood piled in the opposite corner, some full, some empty. There was more blood in the center of the room, and marks as if something had been dragged through it. Bad sign, Emilio thought, though at least the blood bags meant the man wasn’t starving. Emilio looked back to Teddy with a nod, then stepped into the room. “It’s okay,” he said quietly. “We are going to get you away from here. What’s your name?”

[UNSANITARY DESCRIPTION END]

“Nathaniel,” the man said hoarsely. “Nate. Nate Benson.” 

Emilio recognized the name. “Ah. Your sister-in-law will be happy to hear this.”

“Not when she hears what happened to her sister,” Nate whimpered, burying his head in his knees. “I didn’t mean to. I swear, I didn’t mean to.”

This was the part Emilio wasn’t good at. Comforting people wasn’t a thing he’d learned; he looked to Teddy for help, expression lost.

—

Teddy stayed behind until they didn't. Until they saw a scared and horrifically traumatized man curling into himself. Brows knit close together again, as they took a cautious step forward. Never straying too far from the slayer's hand, but not exactly listening the way they were supposed to. Their heart ached for the man. This was an impossible test. Sure, some passed but that couldn't have only been based on the love the two vampires talked about. There was so much more to it, they were sure of that. 

“Nate. We're gonna get you somewhere safer. Gonna find you someone to talk to, someone who's not gonna mess with your head the way those assholes did, okay?” Teddy couldn't absolve them of their guilt. They knew that. It would probably stick with the young vampire as long as his unnaturally extended second life allowed. The pain might slow it's appearances, only tearing into him from time to time, but it would never actually hurt any less than it did right now. With her blood still around him. With everything so fresh, so raw.

“They did this to you.” They assured. “To both of you.” They continued. “It was their decisions, their dumb beliefs that they hurt you for. I know you didn't mean to hurt her, I can see that. It doesn't mean you didn't love her enough. They just– they took the choice from you. They took away your ability to think.” Teddy kneeled, getting on level with the man not much younger than them. Tentatively, they put a hand out, trusting the blood bags to have quenched his thirst enough that rational thought would pull through. “You aren't who you were at your lowest. You're whoever you decide to be now, okay?” 

— 

Teddy came forward, just as good at this as Emilio had known they’d be. They said what Nate needed to hear, but they didn’t lie to him, either. And they made it look easy. As if being a good person was as simple as breathing because, to Teddy? It was. They were decent and kind and empathetic in ways Emilio had never learned to be. And considering they’d been raised by a literal demon, it was difficult to claim they found this easy because of their upbringing. This was just… who Teddy was. Deep in their soul, to their very core. They were good. Emilio wondered how he’d ever thought anything different. 

Nate seemed to relax a little, though Emilio knew from experience that the grief would never fully leave him. It would make itself a home in his chest and it would live there for as long as there was a chest to live inside. “We killed them,” he said, the words tumbling out in a way he hoped was comforting. “The people who did this to you. We killed them. So… They won’t do it to anyone else.” Did that help? Was it a comfort to people other than ones like Emilio to know that the people who’d hurt you were dead? Nate didn’t seem upset by it, but Emilio wasn’t sure he seemed better, either. In any case, he peeled himself from the floor and came forward, let the two of them pull him from his cell, followed them as they moved down the hall.

There were more doors, more cells. Some, like Nate, had but one person inside, bloodied and traumatized. Others had pairs. Some still human, their heartbeats offering little comfort to offset the sheer magnitude of that sensation of undead crawling across the slayer’s skin, others turned just as their partners had been. In one, they found a fledgling and a spawn; the fledgling screamed when Emilio disposed of the spawn and he ached for them both in a way he hadn’t before.

Finally, they seemed to have gathered all the victims of the scheme that had been locked away. About a dozen in total, plus Penny and a few staff members who seemed more relieved than upset to learn that their bosses were gone. There must have been more, at one point. There were names in the files Teddy had found that didn’t match anyone they’d come across. Emilio tried not to think about those, about what must have become of them. The fact that it was dark by the time they stepped outside worked in their favor, given the amount of new vampires they had now. Emilio turned to them all hesitantly, glancing to Teddy for support. 

“Uh…” They were all looking at him. Him and Teddy both, with their eyes wide and terrified. The ones they’d rescued in pairs clung to one another, while the ones they’d pulled from their single-occupant cells still curled in on themselves. “I’ll give you an address. A place to go. The guy there can… at least tell you what to expect. Look at you if you’re hurt. But… Some of it’s up to you. None of you chose this. I know that. What you do with it something you do pick. You hurt people, you’ll see me again. I won’t be as nice. You don’t hurt anyone, and this will be the last time we talk.” He paused for a moment. “You don’t want to see me again,” he clarified, in case it hadn’t been clear. “So just… Don’t be like the things that made you this way.”

—

Each new cell offered a new hurt. Some that had been festering longer than others, some that had been stitched only because two survived, instead of one. Teddy wanted to hold them. Wanted to comfort them more than they could, more than words could offer. No one should have to endure something this awful alone. Their gaze swept along the faces, they tried their best to remember all the names. Then fell on Emilio as he spoke up. A pride stirred behind their ribs, striking up their heartbeat again as they looked on with admiration. 

Emilio was a man of action. He showed the care he held for the world in the ways he protected it. He didn't judge them for being turned, for… the things that some had been forced into. He offered a stern warning, but also a strong comfort. If he was the thing they'd face for doing something wrong with the new chance they'd been given, then he was the metric by which they'd judge their new lives. While the ex-demon saw it as a good thing, a noble knight who was more than his duty, Teddy just didn't know if everyone would see it that way. So they offered their own perspective alongside his. To work in tandem. Together. 

“Don't lose sight of each other though. I know most of you probably just want to forget this all ever happened, and I get that. But all of you have this in common, which means there's no one else in the world who is going to understand the pain you're in as much as the people around you.” Some of the fledglings looked to the others, some kept their eyes on Teddy or Emilio. “Everything is going to be different now. But you get to decide how the story goes from here. Lean on each other for support. Remember–” Despite their attempts to seem calm and collected, the heartache of the day must have finally broken through. Teddy's voice cracked, welling up over the people they didn't get to save. Knowing full well how much worse it was for each of them. And how little words were going to help. Still, they thought it prudent to try. 

“Remember that you can still find strength in people. In love. Even when you've lost everything. You all have each other. Keep the ones you lost alive by telling their stories. By being the person they'd want you to be.” In the same way families were tied together by circumstance and fate, this little group was too. And while love was something that many of them would likely curse because of what it brought upon them, Teddy knew that without it the world was just ash and gray. 

For these folks to go on, for them to live even somewhat normal lives, they needed new connections to go along with their new undeath. Zane would be good. He was a wonderful caretaker. And if he was overwhelmed, Teddy knew a handful of vampires who had made a good name for themselves too. They'd pass along the info to the nurse when they got the chance.

“I'm sorry this happened to you.” The ex-demon offered a sympathetic smile, even if it was laced with pain, they didn't want the last thing these people saw before going off to reinvent themselves to be a scowl. It was necessary, they thought, to show both sides. Compassion and structure. Teddy nodded, and they dispersed. Leaving just the slayer and his fake partner alone in a dark parking lot. 

“Do you think they'll be okay?” 

—

Teddy’s advice was good. These people had been through something unimaginable… but they were right here with other people who’d been through the same thing. There was value in having someone who understood you. Emilio had learned that, had seen it for himself. It didn’t make the ache of grief go anywhere, but at least it made it easier to swallow. It didn’t pull you out of the ocean, but it gave you a liferaft to cling to long enough to catch your breath. Teddy had been helping him catch his breath for a while now. It only made sense that they’d do the same for these strangers. 

Emilio wasn’t good at advice. He’d been through what he’d been through, but he had no idea how to offer anyone else guidance to overcoming their own tragedies. He could only give them Zane’s information, could only text the vampire with a warning as to what was coming his way, could only hope it made some kind of a difference. 

There was guilt in the way he found relief when they’d all dispersed, guilt in the way he felt better without that feeling of undead making his senses go haywire. When it was just him and Teddy, Emilio found himself able to relax in a way that had been impossible since the moment they’d stepped up to that front desk. He sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck and shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I guess that’s up to them.” Shivering a little, he nodded towards the car. “Come on.”

—

[crossdressingdeath]

Actually one thing that really bothers me with the whole "No one hated you for being the son of Hades, you just pushed everyone away" thing is that... well, first off as I've said before we know it isn't true because every single POV character we've had since Titan's Curse who's interacted with Nico except Hazel comments on how creepy Nico is for being the son of Hades so it doesn't work even slightly, but also. I mean. Nico spends so much time being told "This thing that you are and cannot stop being is wrong and evil. It's wrong and evil because we've decided it is. Your father, the one adult in your life you can even sort of depend on? He's bad because he's the god of the dead. No, no, it's nothing he's done exactly, in fact when we accused him of a crime before it turned out he was actually a victim in said crime, he didn't do anything; it's what he is and how that's caused him to distance himself from the people who vocally hate him and don't want him around that makes him untrustworthy, and you should also know better than to trust him. He's Hades after all. That makes him bad," with the subtext that Nico very clearly picks up on being "and you're bad because you're like him". Now, if you think about that, you may pick up on a little bit of applicability in there for the story of a kid struggling with internalized homophobia! Just a teensy bit! It was a perfect way of getting into how awful it is to have people you like and care about openly think something about you that you can't change makes you wrong even if they don't realize they're doing it and even if they really do love you (and in fact how in a lot of ways it's worse when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they do love you aside from That Part) without having to make any characters actually homophobic (thinking the Underworld's creepy is significantly more sympathetic and easier to justify and get characters to work through in a fictional setting than them being real-world bigots would be, after all), and Rick fumbled the ball at the finish line!

If you're reading the whole "Hades and Underworld stuff is Bad And Creepy so Nico is Bad And Creepy" thing as being a metaphor for homophobia (or honestly any other kind of bigotry, but given Nico's problems homophobia fits best) as is really easy to do even before he's revealed to be gay the way that plot point gets dropped in favour of "Well actually it was fine the whole time and Nico just decided that everyone hated him with no evidence other than every POV character except his sister openly thinking he's creepy and at least one person telling him to his face that he shouldn't have trusted his own father who up to that point as far as we know had never lied to him solely because his father is the god of the dead but never mind that, it was all in his head!" kind of feels like Rick's going "Oh, it's not that serious" when uh. incorrect. Which I'm sure wasn't his intention, Rick does try to be sensitive about these things, but it is very much a thing that insisting that a character (whose arc features a huge aspect of overcoming internalized homophobia developed by growing up in the 1930s) saying in no uncertain terms that he's been made to feel unwelcome because of who his father is when we know from the other POV characters' views of him and responses to him that his view of it is correct doesn't need to be taken seriously because "Oh it's all in his head" is... a little uncomfortable! And made worse by the fact that while Will learning to see that the Underworld isn't an inherently awful place is an excellent subplot and we love to see the character growth (and I still firmly believe that Will is infinitely better about it than basically any other character for the primary reason that at least he has a specific reason for thinking the way he does, being in the Underworld is literally killing him and also he's the only character who does learn he was wrong to think that way, so no one start shit about it on this post) he hasn't had that character development at the end of HoO, and the fact that we hear this "You pushed yourself away" viewpoint from someone who also has issues with the Underworld and it's still allowed to stand without argument makes it so much worse. Rick, there's an entire subplot in TSatS about how Nico does in fact still hear even people who genuinely and deeply love him and hate the thought of doing anything to harm him talk shit about his home and how that hurts him and they need to learn to do better. Why are you still trying to say it's all in Nico's head when you keep hammering home that it isn't?

[sgt-mark-smith]

And now I get to write about my devout baby, my strange fish, and the current love of my life. Big time spoilers under the cut!

So obviously the first thing we need is a little eye candy!

All right, meta time, here we go!

By far my favorite character, and tied with his sister for the most interesting, Manaaki Kokiri was made in a blender to be my kryptonite. He’s got the religious conviction, the layers of guilt, the war trauma, the sincerity, the dumbassery, the ‘oddness,’ the sad eyes, he’s got it all and I love him. I’m not the only one either; he seems to have a way of winning the hearts of the white people around him without even trying.

(Unless they’re clearly being framed by the text as Bad News like Miss Violet here, of course!)

Of course I have to talk about the religiosity first, because where else would I start, right? Characters with religious convictions, especially male characters with religious convictions, are irresistible to me, and here comes Bible-totin’, Scripture-quotin’ Manaaki, on an errand from his Prophet (I’ll talk a lot more about Manaaki vis-a-vis the Prophet when I get to the speculation at the end). Like I said, I don’t know exactly where under the Christendom umbrella his religious beliefs are, but he’s got them!

And even when his life upends and he clearly can’t go back to the home where his religious self was born and nurtured, he still holds onto that religiosity because I think it’s the closest thing to ‘home’ he has left - though the pitch of that religiosity shifts, has much more gravitas by the end.

(I can’t do gifs, screengrabs are the best you’re going to get.)

And I don’t know how much of this is actually in the script and how much of it is the acting, but he’s just. he’s so. I know I can’t keep just slapping the autism label on every character I come across, but look at him! He normally takes care to be polite (when he’s not furiously trying to shame his sister) but seems to need minor social nudges - Charlie has to tell him to take off his hat inside the hotel, and both Cissy and Will Chambers call him ‘odd.’ He also has a very sincere manner - whether as a result of writing, direction, acting choices, or all three - but I find it very sweet.

And he’s a dumbass! Awa told him in no uncertain terms that she didn’t want to go back to the compound, that she didn’t want to be tied down as some man’s broodmare, and yet the moment she showed up all wide-eyed claiming that ‘oh I said I was leaving my director and he frightened me 🥺” he totally believed her!

Also, stereotypes about violent brown men are bad and harmful, but at the same time, brown men should get to be a little feral sometimes as a treat. Awa obviously knew Manaaki had it in him, what with the way she turned him loose against Alonso, even if it did end up majorly backfiring on her. And of course that feral side came allll the way out on the war front. Such are the things that happen when we go to war, you know.

(We’ll come back to No Man’s Land, don’t you worry.)

He’s as sexist as any other of the other dudes around him, of course, to the point that he has no problem being a judgy bitch to the sister who literally raised him. He obviously thinks the best treatment you can give a woman is to lock her down into marriage and see that she’s materially provided for. He clearly doesn’t get what Bea means when she says ‘women aren’t horses,’ and even refers to Cissy as a ‘pretty mare.’ (I’m gonna say more about Manaaki and Cissy in another meta, because boy do I have a lot to say about that pairing!)

We’ve gotta talk about Harry. Oh boy have we got to talk about Harry! I’ve already made this clear in the screengrab posts, but to me Manaaki and Harry are the show’s real gay soldier ship, so much so that one of them even dies - in combat, no less! (This in contrast to the canonically gay twinks that, to the show’s credit, do both make it out of the war alive and back into each other’s arms. Like, this show purposely avoided the bury-your-gays with its actual gays ... only for Harry’s death to feel like a bury-your-gays!)

Let me just give you a few screengrabs.

Please watch the show, you really do just have to see them together. The chemistry is. Wow.

And of course a major part of the appeal is that they’re so opposite, character-wise. Harry, a gamblin’ good-for-nothing shit-stirring contrarian scalawag, and church boy Manaaki (wink at @vintonharper​). And even in the field, it’s Harry who’s running a little black market on his own while Manaaki’s out here Scripture-checking the chaplain and disobeying orders (technically) to avoid using a gun, at least the one time. And Harry gets Manaaki to drink, to accept black market ... onions, I guess, little things. You’ll never convince me they didn’t explore each other’s bodies at least once offscreen.

And I’m not going into detail about That Moment, or about what Manaaki did, because I have nothing to say. Nothing. It wrecked me, okay?

But the larger effects of the war on Manaaki are actually why I would argue that WWGTW is really his story. This is where the arc really takes shape. “Does the Bible not say it is a sin to kill?” he asks at the Smiths’ dinner table with all the certainty in the world. Then comes the death of Alonso, and the text really leaves it up to the viewer as to how much responsibility Manaaki actually bears for it, and it shakes him up; he initially goes to war desperately trying not to actively shoot anyone ... and then this moment.

There’s a breath, after the gun goes off for the first time, and then the switch happens, and he’s a sniper now. Later when the detective first comes by and he runs to Awa in distress, he calls himself a murderer - “I’ve killed many men!” - and tells Cissy that he feels like a corrupting influence. And when Detective Blaine asks him directly if he would kill again? He nods. And later he goes back to the war front.

(Now this is where the show is handicapped by how short it is, because there isn’t time for Manaaki’s church boy half and traumatized killer half to really integrate so that he can become a whole person. It feels a little rushed, watching Ghost-Harry vanish into the night during the evacuation; it doesn’t feel quite right, watching him read Cissy’s letter and smile while the framing implies that he’s going to go home and start co-parenting his son soon.)

And the way he essentially falls into the arms of the Smith family after Harry’s death can be read as slightly unhealthy, their glomming onto him as a repalcement son/brother when he’s at his most vulnerable, and yet.

That traditional greeting/farewell that Manaaki gives Bea especially, with the warm glow of the sun over their shoulders, absolutely wrecked me and I love it with all my heart. God, the feels it gave me! That ‘smith family loving manaaki for 1000 minutes’ tag exists on my blog for a reason, and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. Awa might prefer (or just have gotten accustomed to) a life of emotional reticence, but Manaaki doesn’t seem built for that.

(That there autism, see. Contrary to popular belief, we’re usually deeply social, we just need people in our lives who are kind to us when we’re not masking.)

Okay, time for some speculation!

I have a theory that the Prophet was a major father figure to Manaaki after the departure of the elder Mr. Kokiri. The bright-eyed reverence with which Manaaki refers to ‘my Prophet,’ the fact that the Prophet clearly knows he can deploy Manaaki to bring Awa back, the way Awa talks about how the Prophet intends to reward him - there’s a relationship there, and it didn’t happen overnight.

This relates to what I theorized about Awa and why she fled, because it sounds to me like the Prophet seized on the opportunity to groom two orphans, and Manaaki was young enough to be successfully molded where Awa wasn’t. Which also suggests that Manaaki’s growing closeness to the Prophet was a big wedge between them, and that the Prophet perhaps leveraged that closeness to get at Awa. Thus her (likely) cutting off direct contact with Manaaki after she left (“You found me, you clever bugger.”).

I don’t know how big a role the Prophet plays in Manaaki’s spirituality, though. He continues to be actively religious even after he’s lost the chance to go home. Clearly the Prophet gives himself leave to all the sex he wants, but Manaaki is pure as the driven snow when he meets Cissy, which is hardly the norm for young men who grow up with that kind of religious entitlement.

Because the Prophet clearly shaped how he views women and sexuality, Awa included; he reacts to the loss of his virginity with guilt, and yet he doesn’t seem to think less of Cissy for her clear desire for him. (Although I could be giving him too much credit, and the lack of conflict around Manaaki losing respect for Cissy could just be another result of the absurdly short runtime.)

Well, there’s more I could say and will say about Manaaki, but I think I’ve hit a lot of the highlights. He’s an amazingly layered and complex character, performed to perfection by Alex Tarrant.