#and had solid songwriting

[maximura]

Can I make a really sad nostalgic post about IKON again? As some of you may or may not know, they used to be my bias group. The events of 2019 changed the entire fandom overnight. I was not a Hanbin solo stan but he was so important to the group that everything sort of imploded after he left. I call it the Long Death because that's what it feels like. I know the members are still active and working, which gives me a lot of comfort, but it will always have this bittersweet edge to it all.

I got so sad today when I realised just how many old ikon tumblrs simply stopped posting or the users made a conscious decision to leave both the fandom and tumblr. It's seriously so sad looking at the time stamps of their last posts.

Anyway, if you are/were an ikon fan, I hope you are having a good day today and it would be nice to reminisce with anyone who wants to cry about it, haha.

[wickymicky]

i hope weeekly comes back soon. it really does feel like IST completely threw their career away.

[felixbit]

songwriter

pairing: han jisung x gn!reader w. 0.7k genre: fluff summary: your boyfriend jisung's birthday is right around the corner and you have the brilliant idea to make him a song. you learn it's not easy, and you begin to worry it won't work out. warnings: reader overthinks and gets a bit insecure, jisung is of course there to reassure a/n: im so sorry this one is so short!! i promise i'll make up for it with a better hanji fic in the future. felix fic coming tomorrow!

Being a songwriter's partner has benefits.

Every new Stray Kids album that would come out would have some sappy love song written by your boyfriend, Han Jisung. He would send it to you after the album would drop, asking if you liked it. He would then reveal that it was about you, and you had to act surprised.

Of course you loved all his songs. They were beautifully crafted and every single thing made your heart go wild. He put words to feelings you didn't know you had. But, he was so painfully obvious.

His birthday was coming up, and you had a great idea: what if you wrote him a song?

As it turned out, it was a little harder than you expected.

Lines were so hard to piece together and it was near impossible to make proper rhyme schemes. Jisung's ability to write a song was quickly becoming even more impressive than it already was. Even when you started to get lyrics on paper, you had to figure out how it was supposed to be sung.

Whenever Jisung went to the studio, you took special care to see just how he put together melodies. You tried to ask inconspicuous questions, and so far hadn't risen suspicion. You'd settled on trying to figure out playing his guitar instead of doing anything fancy with production.

Learning guitar chords had your fingers aching and sore. Building up calluses and memorizing just where to place your fingers in a short amount of time was no small task. But, you had basic chord progressions down in a few weeks and were on your way to something.

You'd let Chan and Changbin in on the secret of the birthday song, and you were eternally grateful when Chan extended an invite to use their studio. He gave you a ride, showing you inside and some basic functions of how to record.

Even if you didn't end up recording the song, the space was perfect for sitting and conceptualizing music. You had the lyrics pretty much solid, even if you questioned their quality every time you read them.

Halfway through trying to run through the song, anxiety started to creep up on you. Jisung's birthday was tomorrow, and you couldn't decide if you liked the song enough to show him.

Another half an hour of brainstorming, and you were tempted to scrap the song entirely. Everything you had come up with in your head wasn't sounding right when you tried it aloud. How could it compare to his songs?

You heard the studio door open, turning and expecting to see Chan. Instead, standing in the doorway looking perplexed was Jisung himself.

"Jagi, what are you doing here?" Jisung looked at you suspiciously before approaching the couch you were sat on.

You pulled the guitar out of your lap and propped it up against the couch. Shit. "Oh, you know.. you come here often?"

Jisung let out a loud laugh, sitting down next to you and scooting closer. "Your one-liners won't distract me. Why are you here? I mean, I don't mind you being in the studio, but.."

"I.." You looked down at the lyrics still pulled up on your phone screen before handing it over to your boyfriend, "I was doing this."

His eyes scanned over the lyrics a few times with a perplexed look before they shifted back to you. "These are.. lyrics, did you write this?"

Fidgeting, you nodded. "Yeah.. I was thinking it'd be a good thing for your birthday. If I wrote you a song."

Jisung stopped for a moment and looked at you, stunned. "A song? For my birthday? Honey.."

"I know, it's not great, really nothing compared to yours, but-"

"I love it."

You looked up to him, taking your eyes off the floor. He was looking at you like you were the only thing in the world. "You do?"

"I mean, it's really sweet. These lyrics, they're... I don't even know how you put these words together in the way you did. The feeling is so real, I didn't think I could feel that through words on a screen like that."

You felt your heart swell in your chest, leg bouncing as your eyes drifted back to the floor. "I mean, it's not that good.."

Jisung wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. "Don't give me that! It's the best! I would say it's just as good of a birthday present if you'd let me work on actually recording this with you and making it a full song."

"Really?"

Pulling you into a kiss, Jisung smiled. "Yeah! Now, would you please play it for me?"

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

Partly for the prolific volume of projects artists release each year and partly for the fluid definition of an album (running anywhere from three to 13 tracks), an annual ranking of K-pop albums is never easy. As South Korea continues to extend its global musical influence, certain projects transcend hit-song compilations, presenting larger visions and conceptual narratives.

In 2023, stars like V, WOODZ and ONEW used their latest solo projects to share the music that inspires them at their core as artists and let listeners settle into sonic worlds they’ve developed.

[...]

First Place: Onew, Circle The First Album

While it’s somewhat criminal to think that 15 years after ONEW’s debut with SHINee in 2008 we only just received his first full Korean album, the singer-songwriter himself would say that now was the perfect time for Circle. A musical journey unlike anything released this year, ONEW shared that he had attempted to record the album’s title track before dropping his Dice EP in early 2022, but felt it wasn’t at the level of perfection it deserved and held onto the song. ONEW then involved himself in every aspect of Circle‘s production process, from meticulous mixing and mastering to tuning, beats, recording and mastering, attesting to the singer-songwriter’s dedication to artistic expression.

The single “O (Circle)” opens the album with an intriguing blend of electronica and strings, while its gospel-tinged chorus emphasizes lyrics about the circular nature of life and how memories, feelings and dreams are all fleeting. The 10 tracks on Circle develop unique transformations from start to finish: the breezy melodies in “Cough” are paired with loneliness-themed lyrics and a melancholy instrumental breakdown, while “Rain on Me” starts with aggressive acoustic guitar strumming before transitioning into an atmospheric, percussive ballad. Sweet surprises abound, too: ONEW scats on the jazz-rap hybrid “Caramel” and gives a glimpse into his indie-rock side on “Parachute.”

The album’s effortless flow is anchored by ONEW’s famously solid yet understated vocals. As Circle concludes with the tender piano ballad “Always” which addresses themes of loyalty and resilience, the listener wonders if it’s an allegory for ONEW’s public journey through health challenges, including vocal cord surgery. Even without any writing credits on Circle, ONEW’s presence is undeniably felt in this seamless collection that boasts an emotional depth brought on by 15 years in the game. That’s the kind of introspection you can’t rush or doctor through A&R but need to cycle through and arrive at when the moment is right. From scheduling this album’s release to the messages on the final track, time is definitely on ONEW’s side to deliver such a project. — J.B.

source

[eddiexmunsonlover]

Chapter 1

(Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Fem!Reader)

Follow my new blog for future chapters & fics @cherryxhaze

Series Masterlist

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Next Chapter ->

WC: 2.8k Warnings: MDNI. Explicit language used. Parental alcohol abuse, toxic family relationships, and bullying mentioned. Author's Note: This first chapter is on the shorter side as it is mainly set-up, and provides a lot of information on Reader's background and friendships with other main characters.

Sunday, September 15th, 1985

The warm September air engulfs your face, blowing through your hair as the familiar streets of Hawkins pass by. Sitting in the passenger seat, head leaning against the door frame, and Led Zeppelin playing on a cassette tape as your mom drives the route home. Your new, and old home. It still didn’t feel quite real that you were back here, not so soon, and not to stay. Though you weren’t born there, Hawkins has always been the place you think of when you hear ‘home’. It wasn’t just the town or the trailer you’d lived in, but the people here that you held the fondest memories of in your heart and formed the deepest bonds you’ve ever had with anyone.

You were born in Virginia, and lived there until you were 8 years old. Until Dad’s drinking led him to lose yet another job, leaving your mother at a loss for what to do. She was smart and skilled, but didn’t make nearly enough money to support the family at the time. Her sister, Aunt Patty, encouraged your family to move out to where she lived in Hawkins, Indiana. Maybe a big move and change of pace was just what your family needed, she suggested. So, the summer before the start of 4th grade in 1976, your family made the move to the Forest Hills Trailer Park in Hawkins, Indiana. Your uncle helped your dad get a job with him doing construction, while your mother managed to find a decent paying receptionist job. 

Your home life wasn’t great. Your parent’s relationship was tumultuous at best, largely due to your father’s drinking problems. You and your mother at times were the best of friends, other times she made you feel like you were never good enough to meet her standards, whether it was with your weight, your grades, or how you dressed. Your school life had never been great either, and that didn’t change in Hawkins. You occasionally dealt with bullies that liked to make fat jokes, but it wasn’t all bad, you also formed some good, solid friendships too. 

Meanwhile, the issues at home and with your parents’ marriage only intensified after the move. After 6 years in Hawkins, your mom had finally had enough of your dad’s bullshit, kicking him out and planning to divorce him. A couple days later, he landed in Jail for a DUI, his 3rd one to be specific. A week after that, 3 months into your 10th grade year in late 1982, a UHAUL was packed up with all your belongings, moving your mom and you back to Virginia to stay with family. 

While the events of your home and school life were sometimes painful, you were grateful that they led you to seek out music for comfort and coping. Music is the love of your life, and what you always turn to when life and your thoughts feel like it’s just too much to bear. It started with the classics that your family raised you on, from Patsy Cline to Jimi Hendrix to Lynyrd Skynyrd to Johnny Cash. You loved all kinds of music, expanding your taste and catalog to a huge variety throughout the years, even beginning to work odd jobs in your early teens to fund your musical exploration. Music wasn’t just a way for you to escape, but became a way to express yourself as well. You learned how to play guitar and bass, and began songwriting as well as a means of emotional release and self-expression. It was the only thing that kept you sane through your life transitions, especially during the years living in Hawkins when problems at home intensified. Music, and him… Eddie Munson.

*Oh, all of my love, all of my love

Oh, all of my love to you…*

Your chest tightened as your thoughts inevitably went to him, how could they not? You tried your best to steer your mind away from him during the move back to Hawkins, but it was pointless. Eddie had been your best friend all those years you lived here, some of the hardest years of your life. Honestly, he was the best friend you’ve ever had. You liked to think you were the same for him, at least then. Your trailer was right across the street from Eddie’s Uncle Wayne’s trailer, Eddie oftentimes staying with Wayne for weeks or months at a time whenever Al Munson disappeared on a bender, some crime scheme, or his stints in jail. Though, you didn’t end up meeting Eddie until a few months after you moved and started 4th grade at Hawkins Elementary. 

A soft smile creeps across your face as you remember 5th grade Eddie, coming to your rescue when you tripped in the hallway at school, other students standing around and laughing at you. Your 9 year old self was mortified, so embarrassed, until Eddie appeared and told them all where they could shove it, effectively clearing the halls of students and helping you up. From then on, anytime he was at Wayne’s you two would hang out; playing make believe in the woods next to the trailer park, Eddie teaching you how to play DnD, sharing books, music, and watching scary movies. You two bonded over your pain caused by your family and Hawkins’ residents who’d branded you as outcasts. You both harbored a lot of pain and anger, sharing a love for metal music as the perfect cathartic release for those emotions. You’d become so close over the years. You often missed him during the times you didn’t get to see him as much, like whenever his Dad returned home and he wasn’t at Wayne’s as much, or when he moved on to middle and high school, being a grade ahead of you. Your friendship remained strong during those times regardless. 

But all of that is in the past. He was your best friend… though in your heart he still is, and always will be.

*I get a little bit lonely, just a little, just a little

Just a little bit lonely, just a little bit lonely*

You sigh as the song comes to an end and the sign for Forest Hills Trailer Park came into view. You hold your breath as your mother turns onto your road, Uncle Wayne’s trailer and yours coming into view. You don’t know why you feel anxious, Eddie would have graduated in ‘84, and likely gotten the hell out of Hawkins as soon as he could. Probably out in LA trying to make a name for himself in the music industry. You shook the thoughts from your head, noting the unfamiliar van in Wayne’s driveway as your mother pulled into your own across the street.

She sighs as she puts the car into park next to yours, a black ‘81 Chevy C10 truck that your father so generously gifted you upon hearing of your return to Hawkins. It’s the LEAST he could do. Your mother looked at you with a small smile, “Home sweet home”. You return her smile before both exiting her station wagon and begin unloading the last of your belongings. Your mom and you had already been back in Hawkins for a few days, staying with your Aunt Patty while coming to the trailer everyday to deep clean before moving back in. You could only assume your Dad had hit a rough patch when you heard he was being evicted from the trailer, missing a few rent payments. Around the same time back in Virginia as you were starting your senior year, your mom got laid off from her job. An old coworker from Hawkins then just so happened to tell her about an open position at her new job in Indianapolis, one that paid more than either of your Mom’s old jobs in Hawkins or Virginia. When she heard about your dad, it was decided, circumstances aligning perfectly. Upend your life and move back to Hawkins, again. You can’t say you were really upset about it, Hawkins has been home for you since that fateful day in 4th grade.

~

Eddie groaned in frustration. Searching his vest pockets, under his blanket, on any flat surface in his room for his goddamn cigarettes, patience quickly wearing thin. He huffed, looking along the floor of his room, around dirty and clean clothes thrown about until he saw the familiar package peeking out from under his bed. “There you areeee” a cheeky smile adorning his face as he grabbed it from the floor, swiftly removing a cigarette and putting it between his lips. He sat down on a chair he had propped next to the open window in his room as he lit the cigarette, taking a puff before looking out his window. Eyes landing on what appeared to be new neighbors moving into the trailer across the street. Your trailer. Wayne had told him about your dad, a small voice of hope in the back of his head wondered if you’d come back. A voice he’d quickly squashed. It’s been nearly 3 years since you’d left, and though he knew better than to think the thoughts of you would ever stop popping into his head, that certainly didn’t stop him from trying to keep them at bay.

Taking another puff from his cigarette, his attention was captured by the girl he saw across the street. Her back to him as she looks into the trunk of the station wagon in the driveway. He unashamedly lets his eyes take her in. Short, thick, curvy. Black shorts, cropped tank top, hair up in a messy bun. She didn’t look like most of the girls in Hawkins or in the magazines… and he liked, no, loved that. He couldn’t help but notice how much her body resembled yours, or atleast how he’d imagined it’d look now after the few years. He watched as she started to squat to lift a tv console out of the trunk. Being the gentleman his Uncle Wayne raised him to be, he was about to sprint over; introduce himself and help her, knowing how damn heavy those fuckers could be. Just as the thought passed his mind, she lifts it almost effortlessly, his eyes practically bulging from his head. He wasn’t expecting that to turn him on so much, but goddamn. He admires the thick arms and legs exerting that strength, unable to not notice the pronounced curve of her ass as she climbed the steps into the trailer. 

Before he could pop a semi, a burning sensation on his thigh grabs his attention. The cherry from his cigarette falling into his lap as he drooled over his new neighbor like a virgin.

“Shit, Jesus H. Christ!” he grimaces, stomping out the cherry just as the telephone begins to ring. Groaning, he rose to his feet, nearly tripping over the clothes on his floor as he stomps down the hall. 

“Yeah, what?” he answered unceremoniously, greeted by Jeff’s voice reminding Eddie to pick him up on his way to band practice at Gareth’s. 

“Yeah yeah, I’m on my way” Eddie hung up the phone, dramatically exhaling as he turned back to his room to grab his sweetheart, and his van keys off the counter before leaving the trailer. He glanced across the street as he descended the porch steps, hoping to catch another glimpse of the new neighbor only to be disappointed as the trailer door was closed, with no one outside. 

~

You sigh, dropping the last box of your belongings on your stripped bed, glancing around at your bare bedroom, deciding on where to start. You rummage through one of your boxes, finding your radio and setting it on your dresser. You press play on the cassette you’d titled Chill Mix #3, smiling as All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix began playing. You decide to start on the biggest feat, unpacking and putting away all your clothes. You let your mind focus on your task and the sound of the music as you move, singing along to each passing song. It was only a matter of time before thoughts and images of him slipped through the barrier, being back in the exact place that held so many memories of him and your friendship. It made your stomach turn and a lump form in your throat. You attempt to cough it away, forcing yourself to think of your other friends here in Hawkins you were excited to see again. The toothy, goofy smile of one of your youngster friends, Dustin Henderson popped into your head, effectively putting a smile on your face.

You’d known Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Will for a couple years now. First meeting Will through his mother Joyce, who was good friends with your mom. It’d started sometime when you were in middle school, going over to Joyce’s to hang out with Jonathan and Will while your moms’ went out to shop and vent about their relationship issues. The other boys showing up a handful of those times turned into Dustin’s mom and Lucas’s parents asking you to babysit in the summer months, which often turned into babysitting all the boys at the same time.

The boys and Erica came to view you as an older sister figure, and them, your sometimes annoying but loveable younger siblings. The same quickly became true for the newer member of the party Max, over your visit to Hawkins this summer. Taking a liking to you as the ‘cool’ older girl the boys often spoke of and hung out with. Though you were flattered but dismissive of the ‘cool’ label, you learned quickly that like you, Max didn’t give a damn about societal ideals of ‘cool’ and what or who a young woman should be. They were freshman this year at Hawkins High, one of the few positives you looked forward to starting your senior year here.

As you move on to hanging up your posters and decorations, you think about your other, newer friends, Steve and Robin. To be fair, Robin wasn’t exactly a new friend, you’d met her in school when previously living in Hawkins, but were never more than casual, friendly acquaintances. Steve, on the other hand, you never expected to become friends with before this past summer. You’d visited Hawkins every summer since you’d moved back to Virginia; staying with your Aunt Patty, babysitting, spending time with the kids, your cousins and your Dad.

When you came to visit this summer in May, you’d picked up a job working at Scoops Ahoy with Robin and Steve. Your once casual friendship with Robin blossomed into a close one, both taking pleasure in teasing Steve day after day, watching him fail in his attempts to pick up girls after his break-up with Nancy and declining position in the social hierarchy of Hawkins. You were surprised to witness the change in Steve’s character from the Steve you knew of through middle and early high school, into someone actually likable. When Robin confessed her sexual identity to you two, it marked a milestone in you three’s friendship, along with the events of the mall fire that happened soon after. You three were nearly inseparable for the remainder of the summer after, until August rolled around and it was time for you to go back to Virginia. Robin was the first friend you called when you learned about your return back to Hawkins. Thrilled to go through her Senior year with you, considering Steve graduated this past May.

A few hours after you’d started and the sky now dark outside, you sigh loudly laying back on your bed as you finally finished putting away and organizing all your belongings. Looking around your room, you feel a wave of comfort hit you. Your room has always been your safe space, and it just feels… looks so right here in this room, compared to your room of the past 3 years in Virginia. Even with all the new decorations and posters you’d acquired since you last lived in this room years ago. You feel a sense of hope overtake your thoughts. Maybe this year things will finally work out and go right for you, feel right for you, for the first time in years. You let those thoughts linger as you walk out into the kitchen, deciding to make a sandwich for dinner. Feeling the exhaustion from the last week of moving weigh on your body, you kiss your mother goodnight, and take a relaxing shower before crawling into bed. You let the songs playing on the local ‘soft rock’ radio station lull you as exhaustion overtakes you. As you fall asleep, you cling onto that hopeful, comforting feeling before your first day back at Hawkins High tomorrow.

[space-matt]

More than just a joke

matt.sturniolo x fem.reader

summary: an accidental confession turns playful flirting into a genuine romance, who would have thought?

request: yes -> anon

author’s note: hii within this request I wanted to add my beloved Niall, but you can choose to put anyone!  hope you like it, let me know ♡

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

English is not my first language, if you see grammar and typing mistakes, I apologize in advance! I just ask you not to be rude to me ♡

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

As we filmed our regular videos with the triplets—Chris, Nick, and Matt—the bond between us had only grown stronger. The four of us shared a unique camaraderie, and our on-camera dynamic was always vibrant and filled with light banter and playful moments. 

However, during our filming sessions, I noticed that Matt had developed a habit of subtly flirting with me, often accompanied by a bashful grin and a barrage of cheesy, yet endearing lines. Unbeknownst to none, Chris and Nick would exchange sly glances, fully aware of Matt's infatuation with me and his shy, yet charming attempts at flirting. 

Each filming session became a delightful mix of playful interactions, including Matt's endearing, albeit slightly awkward, attempts at romantic overtures.

And, of course, you played along. His flirty comments always made you laugh, and you couldn’t help but flirt back, thinking it was all harmless and in good humor.

Today, you were filming another video, just like any other. The four of you were sitting together in the car, cameras rolling as you prepared to review some funny videos and react to them. But, as always, Matt found a way to start flirting with you.

“You know, this video would be a lot better if we were watching it on a date,” Matt quipped, flashing you that signature shy grin.

You laughed, shooting him a playful look. “Oh, really? You sure you could handle a date with me, Matt?”

Chris groaned loudly, tossing a pillow at Matt’s head. “Here we go again! Do you two ever take a break?”

Nick chimed in, shaking his head. “We should rename this video ‘Matt’s Flirting Hour.’ Honestly, it's getting hard to keep up with you two.”

But today, there was something different in the air. The banter between you and Matt felt more intense, and you noticed the way his smile lingered just a little longer than usual. It was like the whole flirting routine had become second nature, but neither of you seemed to want to stop.

Finally, after what felt like the hundredth cheesy line from Matt, Nick sat up with an exaggerated sigh. “Okay, that’s it. I can’t take it anymore! We need a distraction. New game, everyone. Let’s rate each other’s celebrity crushes.”

Chris, ever the instigator, grinned. “Oh, I like this idea. Let’s see where everyone’s head is at.”

You laughed, intrigued by the sudden change in topic. “Alright, I’m in. Let’s do this.”

Chris went first, of course. “Olivia Rodrigo. She’s iconic, gorgeous, and honestly, she can pull off any look. 10 out of 10.”

Nick nodded approvingly. “Solid choice. I’m going with Billie Eilish. She’s got that cool, mysterious vibe. I’m here for it.”

All eyes turned to you next. You smiled mischievously, knowing your answer might catch a few of them off guard. “Easy. Niall Horan.”

The reaction was immediate. Chris raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed. “Niall Horan? Nice. You into the whole ‘singer-songwriter’ thing, huh?”

Nick laughed. “Yeah, I see it. Niall’s a cool dude.”

But it was Matt’s reaction that caught your attention. The smile that had been plastered on his face suddenly vanished, replaced by a look of surprise and… something else. His jaw clenched slightly, and you could tell he was trying to play it cool, but his eyes gave him away.

Chris noticed too, nudging Matt with his elbow. “Yo, Matt, you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

Matt blinked, snapping out of whatever trance he had fallen into. “What? No, I’m fine, it’s just… Niall Horan? Really?”

You raised an eyebrow, a little taken aback by his tone. “Yeah, why? What’s wrong with Niall?”

Matt fumbled for words, his face turning red as he stammered out, “I mean, he’s fine, I guess… but… I don’t know, it’s just… you could do better.”

Chris and Nick both exchanged glances, sensing that something was up. Chris decided to poke the bear. “What’s the big deal, Matt? You jealous of Niall Horan or something?”

Matt looked visibly uncomfortable now, running a hand through his hair as he tried to laugh it off. “I’m not jealous, I just—”

And then, before he could stop himself, the words came tumbling out in a rush. “I just don’t like hearing you talk about some other guy when I’ve been trying to get your attention for months.”

The room fell into complete silence. Chris and Nick stared at Matt, wide-eyed, clearly not expecting that level of honesty to come out of their usually reserved brother. You, too, were caught off guard, blinking in surprise as Matt’s words sank in.

He looked mortified, immediately realizing what he had just blurted out. “I—uh, I didn’t mean—”

But there was no taking it back now. He’d said it. He’d admitted that all those cheesy lines, all that playful flirting, had meant something more to him. It wasn’t just a joke.

You didn’t know what to say at first. For months, you had assumed that Matt’s flirting was all in good fun, just part of the easy banter you shared. You never considered that there might be real feelings behind it. But now, seeing the vulnerability in his eyes, everything started to click into place.

“Matt,” you said softly, taking a step closer to him. “You’ve been serious this whole time?”

He shrugged awkwardly, his face still flushed. “I mean… yeah. I thought you’d just see it as a joke because… well, I’m me. But yeah, I guess I wasn’t joking.”

Chris and Nick, sensing that this was turning into something real, slowly backed away, giving you and Matt a bit of space.

You smiled, a little overwhelmed but touched by his honesty. “I had no idea, Matt. I thought we were just messing around.”

Matt gave a sheepish smile. “I was, but… I wasn’t, if that makes sense. I like you, and I guess I didn’t know how else to say it.”

For a moment, you just looked at him, realizing how much you enjoyed all those little flirty moments you had shared. Maybe you had brushed it off as a joke for so long because you were too afraid to admit that you liked him back.

“Well,” you said, your heart racing, “if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think Niall Horan stands a chance compared to you.” (I’m joking, Niall is perfect)

Matt’s eyes widened, his face lighting up with surprise. “Wait, really?”

You nodded, smiling warmly. “Yeah. I think I like you too, Matt.”

A huge grin spread across his face, and for once, Matt was completely speechless. Chris, from the other side of the room, couldn’t help but pipe up. “Wow. Didn’t see that one coming.”

Nick laughed, shaking his head. “Matt actually did it. Respect.”

Matt turned to you, still smiling but clearly embarrassed by his brothers. “So… can I take you on that date? For real this time?”

You laughed, feeling a wave of relief and excitement wash over you. “Yeah, Matt. I think I’d like that.”

As the camera kept rolling, you realized this video had taken a turn no one expected—but somehow, it felt like the perfect ending.

"Despite their initial teasing, Chris and Nick are genuinely happy for Matt and wholeheartedly give their approval. Following this, the playful flirting on camera continues, but now it is infused with a new genuine undertone that both you and Matt are excited to further explore."

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[prettyoddfever]

I used to think that Spencer had a specific vision for the cello part of IWSNT that was inspired by Eleanor Rigby. This was just my own random conspiracy theory back then btw so it doesn't hold any actual weight. But hear me out...

So a big part of AFYCSO was created in the studio in summer 2005. The band talked a lot about how they bounced ideas off of each other and the fact that they had such varied musical tastes helped the album become what it is. Ryan wrote most of the lyrics, but the whole band was involved in creating the songs & music.

Ryan told East Coast Rocker in spring 2006 that “We all had so many ideas, and we were so excited that the songs just came out. The first half of the record is comprised of the first set of songs we wrote as a band.

Brendon said in summer 2006 that "For the first half, we wrote the music first and then [Ryan] wrote lyrics to sort of fit the feel. For the second half, the songs, Ryan would write lyrics like this storytelling kind of picture. We would write music based around that."

Brendon told Hearts & Sleeves in early 2006: "The way it comes out I guess is just a product of everybody in the band having huge similarities in music but we also listen to a lot of different stuff.... A lot of that was Ryan would pop up and be like ‘I think it could do this’ and Iʼd be like ‘whoah’ and Iʼd add some pop to it. Itʼs just a mix of different combinations of where we come from."

Ryan told PlayMusic in August 2006: “Between us we had a lot of influences so we just thought, ‘let’s use them all!’”

Ryan talked to Helio at the end of the Fever era about the songwriting process for the first album: “when I had a little bit of the music and lyrics finished, I would bring it to Spencer and Brendon and we would all finish the songs together.”

The point is that they were all contributing to creating the songs (ok Brent not as much lol). Moving on...

The band said that they mostly worked on the songs in the order that they appeared on the album and that they tracked all of their music parts separately (ex: they said they started tracking drum parts in late June, the bass parts were done by early July, and then they moved onto guitar). The verses for IWSNT were written a few days before they finished recording around the third week of July, but they worked on other parts of IWSNT earlier that month too.

Brendon's livejournal post on July 3rd had the title "i look at all the lonely people…"

Ryan mentioned several times over the years that Spencer introduced him to The Beatles while the band was in the studio. Ryan specifically picked Eleanor Rigby as a "song that changed my life" for Kerrang Magazine and said “I started really getting into The Beatles when we were recording [AFYCSO]. Our drummer, Spencer, started playing me some of their stuff."

I used to like to think that Spencer played Eleanor Rigby to point out the cello and then that was where a tiny bit of the inspiration for the sound of IWSNT came from. Obviously Spencer could have played Eleanor Rigby for any number of reasons, sooo I guess the only actual solid takeaway is that that song *possibly* inspired the band while they were in the studio (and then they went on to cover it during the NRWC tour).

[azsazz]

Hiii 👋 just wanted to say I adore your writing ☺️ I always get so happy when I see you’ve written something new 😁

I was curious to ask, what are some of your favourite modern AU jobs/roles for the bat boys (whether you’ve written about them or not)? Or just any ACOTAR characters?

CEO Rhys has been done a lot, but for good reason, it’s so perfect. He almost has to be effortlessly rich and/or in some position of power, like a prince, or a mafia boss.💰 I also kinda like to imagine him as a nepo baby set to take over his father’s company, but he breaks away or gets cut off, so with his very little actual job experience (as he was all set to inherit), he gets a barista job at a lil coffee shop. ☕️

Cass would definitely suit something physical, like an ice hockey player, or a firefighter, or a personal trainer. I could so see him being a gym teacher as well, imagine him coaching a kids ice hockey team. 💪🏽 He would SO volunteer to be a nude model in life drawing classes in his free time 😆 Though I hadn’t considered it before I read your stuff, I think he really fits a small town rancher too. I can so picture him in jeans, boots, and a flannel shirt, driving around in an old rusty faded red truck 👨‍🌾

Az could easily be in the FBI or something, but choosing something further away from his canon role, I seriously think he’d be an awkward computer programmer / software engineer nerd, or a twitch gamer, 👨🏻‍💻 with a secret anonymous OnlyFans or erotic audio patreon on the side. 😏 And I reckon he’d ride a motorcycle and tinker with it in his spare time, so might also enjoy working at a garage. 🏍️ I really love him in Midnight Muse, and think he suits a shy amateur artist / tattoo artist as well.

I also love the bat boy band idea I’ve seen a lot recently, where Rhys is the charismatic lead singer and guitarist, Az is the quiet songwriting bassist, and Cass is the energetic drummer. 🎶

Sorry it’s so long, I just love thinking about this stuff 😄

Hiiii!! Thank you so so much! I saw this message this morning but wanted to wait until I could give it my full attention and have my computer around, so thank you for your patience! 💙

Okay, some of my favorite AUs for the batboys? This is a wonderful question!

Rhys: Normally, I just think of Rhys as always having some sort of money/job inherited. So CEO, mafia, anything that puts him in a position of power, really, but i think it's mostly because those just reflect the books.

I do, however, love love love art school rhys. painter rhys. working at the local art supply degenerate rhys who still has wealthy parents but is trying to stick it to the man rhys. steals erasers and petty things from the art supply rhys. love him so much.

There's also something to be said about young adult rhys who's messing around with his little sister's best friend rhys. he gets me going too.

also captain of the hockey team rhys is a solid choice for him as well.

Cass: LOVE ME SOME RANCHER/COWBOY/SMALL TOWN CASSIAN. but, these are all very different. small town cass doesn't trust women, heart broken at a young age with the girl he thought was his forever. doesn't want to leave town, likes the ranch because its safe and its what he knows. cowboy cass or bull rider cassian, famous for breaking horses and backs. grumpy, gruff rancher cassian always gets me going tbh he's fucking hot as shit

i also always see him in a blue collar role like a mechanic or welder are the two i mostly attribute to him.

def something physical as well, we love hockey cass, rugby cass, wrestler (wwe lol) cass, dang i had another on my mind for sports cass but i forgot. sad. OH surfer cassian. jock type tho i can see him as. love the firefighter vibe for him too, he'd fill out the tight fire department t-shirt WELL LADIES and also volunteers for wet t-shirt contests. omg gym teach cass would be adorable as hell! oof another thought, contractor cassian ffs that would be so yummy

Az: Az i agree fits the FBI (stalker) vibes. i also like to think of him in finance or computer science too. omfg the erotic audio that's iconic and i'd def subscribe to that. hmmm what else could i see azzy doing...maybe something with music or writing...i could see him being a ghost writer of some sort and then one day his song plays on the radio and he's like hey i wrote that and literally no one believes him. something behind the scenes or where he can go unnoticed is mostly where i place him, tbh. honestly maybe even something military because he takes comfort in having a set schedule and people telling him what to do at every minute of the day. he'd fare well i think. perfect. operative because if the mission goes south and he gets captured he's not telling a soul anything.

Eris: idk why this thought came to my head but i was thinking about architecture but i think eris would be a fantastic interior designer lol. like i could see it. maybe i was just thinking about him furnishing az's new place and having a lil sparky. i could also see him as a lawyer too or something like that, something where he can be the know-it-all, smirking at them and looking down his nose at them...

Lucien: Architecture for sure. or professor. I could see him doing either of these. maybe even lawyer tbh, he would be good at that too, though i know he's immaculate at twisting stories and words so you gotta be careful of that.

Tamlin: poet? lol. professional gaslighter? jk i love tammy. maybe he installs security systems? haha just kidding just kidding. he's a tough one tho. idk why i added him but i guess also a musician but low-key soothing music, instrumental for sure...prob has a podcast where he just bullshits all day

hopefully i didn't rant for too long about this 🤭💙 this was so much fun though thank you for asking!

[gravehags]

sundress season

Pairing: Mary Goore x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Warnings: Rough PinV sex, cum eating, general sweatiness, references to grave desecration

Words: 1,363

Summary: Mary Goore is not immune to the effects of sundress season

a/n: Mary said HOT NONBINARY SUMMER. Someone made a post theorizing that Mary Goore is the songwriter for Ghost and had to include it. If this was you lmk because I’m obsessed and would love to discuss it further. Fic based on a dream I had a couple nights ago which changed me as a person. If you see this and you know me, no you don’t. Tagging @anamelessfool because they encouraged this shit tbh.

divider by @ghuleh-recs!

Mary is silent when he comes up behind you. He’s eerie like that.

You’re leaning halfway over a table deep in the archives hard at work, droplets of sweat rolling down your back in the stifling heat of the underground room. When Mary slips their lean arms around your body you jump comically out of your skin and allow them to turn you to face them. A wolfish grin plays on their lips as Mary brings the back of their hand up to touch your cheek with the barest of knuckle-brushes.

“Mary what the fuck,” you push against his chest as his green eyes dance in the sickly archive lights. “I’m trying to work.”

“Mmm yeah I see that,” he runs a pale hand around the curve of your hip and bunches the fabric of your sundress in his fist. “You wear this for me?”

You roll your eyes. “I wore this because it’s fucking hot as hell down here in the summer.”

Mary has their lips ghosting over the pulse point in your neck, hand dropping low to inch the fabric up your thigh.

“Hotter than hell,” they muse, “and I would know.”

Your relationship with Mary was an interesting one. They had long been a presence at the Ministry, in charge of songwriting for the Ghost Project. But whispers followed them through the vaulted corridors - words of death, necromancy, and deals with the Old One himself. It was long rumored that Mary had in fact been to hell and back, found favor with the unholy father and given new life. You didn’t know Mary in their previous life but some people say they came back…well…different. Cold skin and colder eyes, always smelling of cemetery earth and leather. The siblings were repulsed by them stalking the halls in their bloody imitation of Papa paints, dark forelock masking most of their expressions. You, on the other hand, were fascinated. So much and so obviously so that upon seeing you one evening, alone in the Emeritus crypt, they pulled you into an alcove and pressed their cool lips to your mouth again and again. Their hands were frantic as they unfastened your habit and pushed into you, deep and rough, their breaths desperate as they fucked you against the frigid marble of the tomb. That was the first time you had desecrated a grave with Mary. 

It wasn’t the last.

But now they have you pinned to this solid wooden table, one hand gripping your waist the other teasing along the line of your underwear. You consider, very briefly, pushing them away and making them wait until this evening when you’re less sweaty, less exhausted from hauling around boxes of old Ministry documents, but there’s a pout lingering at the corners of their lips, simultaneously sickly sweet and dark, when they see your hesitation. 

“Wanna make you feel good, baby,” they purr into your ear, pressing their black denim clothed cock against you. “Wanna fill you up.”

Despite your earlier silent protestations, you feel the familiar wetness at the apex of your thighs ever-present when they would whisper filthy nothings to you in the dark of night, in the most silent of Ministry corridors. You reach up and curl your hand around their bicep, bringing them even closer and push your lips against their equally eager mouth. Mary groans, long and low, bringing their fingers to tangle in the hair at the base of your neck as you work your tongue against theirs. Their hand, gripping your bare thigh hard enough to leave delicious marks, moves to the waistband of your underwear and slides them down your legs until they rest around your ankles. You feel them smile against your mouth, both sets of your teeth briefly clacking together, as they spin you around and bend you over the table. They push the hem of your sundress over your hips and lean back to take in the view of you breathless, red-faced, and bare. 

“Fucking love watching you when you wear this,” he coos, hands massaging your ass, “the way your hips move when you walk…makes me wanna fuck you anywhere. Everywhere.”

You look back at him over your shoulder with a crooked smile and his head tilts back as he lets out a laugh before bringing a hand to smack harshly against your bare haunch. You jolt forward and allow yourself to rut slightly against the solid wood of the table beneath you. Mary notices and lets out a growl before reaching down viciously to the buckle and zipper of his pants to free himself. When he takes his cock in hand and brushes against your dripping cunt, you arch onto your tip-toes and let out a pornographic moan. You know he loves it when you’re loud, throwing caution to the wind with the full knowledge that anyone could walk into the archive at any minute and see you spread open for him. 

“Need you, Mary,” you breathe as they continue to tease you with their cockhead. “Please.”

When you beg, oh. It sends them.

They waste no time in sliding into you, deep and rough just like the first time, bringing their hips flush against your ass. You gasp at the sensation, the breath blowing from your lungs as they pull back and push in again. They set a harsh pace, ruthlessly fucking you into the table as they pant and moan into the overheated room. Satan, you adored it when they got like this - desperate and raw as they place a punishing grip on your hips and slam you backwards onto their cock even as they continue to thrust forward. When they bring a hand to your shoulder and cause you to arch your spine as you bow back towards them, you let out a broken moan at the new angle. 

“So fucking tight,” they rasp into your ear, breath hot. “So fucking wet and only for me.”

The hand on your shoulder snakes up to your throat as you nod desperately in agreement, unable to form words as they slam their cock into you over and over. You’re so close, you’re teetering on the edge when they squeeze the hand that until that point had been resting loosely around your neck and with a drawn out, breathy sigh you come undone, hips twitching between their body and the wood, sweaty and spent. Mary, however, was not done with you. A hand slid around to your cunt, slender fingers sliding against your clit. You keened in simultaneous delight and frustration as he worked you over, all the while continuously and noisily sliding his cock in and out of you. 

“Come on baby, I know you got one more in you. Be good for me.”

You could tell he himself was getting close from the sloppy pace of his thrusts even as he continued to rub your clit at a punishing rate. When the moans in your ear became torn and stunted, you let out a shaky exhale and clenched your cunt over and over until his shout echoed in the small room and he came inside of you as he harshly pinched your bud and you joined him, panting and swearing hoarsely. You could feel his sweat-soaked hair and forehead pressing against your shoulder as he eased out of you, making you whine at the loss. Easing your body around so you were once again facing him, he grinned as he registered your fucked-out expression.

“That good, huh?”

Satanas, you were hot and gross and drenched with sweat. And speaking of drenched, you could feel their spend sliding down the inside of your thigh - something Mary also noticed with visible delight. Tongue between their teeth, they reached down and dragged their finger up your leg, gathering their cum in the process. Not once breaking eye contact, they slipped their seed-covered finger into their mouth, lewdly wrapping their tongue around the digit as you watched breathlessly.

“Fuck me, Mary” you croaked while reeling backwards to rest your ass against the table.

“Again? Give me a minute and sure thing, babe.”

You might have laughed if you actually thought they were joking.

They never were.

[informalmajesty]

Jimin is not being sabotaged by his own label

This tag used to be (mostly) fun and now all I see are large text posts pitting Jimin and JK against each other and, look, it’s not as complicated as many of you are making it out to be, nor is there some grand conspiracy to *checks notes* pit JK and Jimin against each other or *keeps checking notes* a SPECIFIC vendetta against ONLY Jimin, their artist who *scrolls scrolls scrolls through notes* went number 1 on Billboard.

So here is a large text post on the woes of American capitalism (yes. Really).

Here’s the reality

Billboard DID Sabotage Jimin

Let’s get the big sabotage that did happen out of the way — BILLBOARD (and friends. Will circle back to this) ARE RACIST SNAKES AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

Billboard has a history of keeping Black artists off of the pop charts. One example, R&B was largely created as a separate chart to move a category of Black artists from the Hot 100 pop charts. It was a big deal—as (1) example—when Boyz II Men crossed over to the pop charts multiple times.

And then what happened? The American music industry caught up and started cranking out white boy bands that wrote and performed R&B but. Funny. Somehow it was now considered JUST pop on the H100 POP charts. They weren’t pushed immediately to R&B and had to work their way over.

This was considered R&B for the R&B charts that was a “crossover”

And this was considered mainstream pop that needed no crossover.

Yeah, Billboard have always been racist snakes.

So flash forward to 2023. We know they tried HARD to keep BTS from the H100. Going into Proof, BB limited digitals, reduced the weight on sales and upped weight on radio. Why? American music labels can control radio. They cannot control sales and it’s legally far more messy for them to do so.

But then. JIMIN happened.

ARMY got Jimin to H100 #1 with the rule change and the American music industry lost their collective shit.

Why do I say COLLECTIVE and not just Billboard? Well.

This is so essential to the punch line of this rant.

American capitalism only cares about its friends.

What does that mean?

I work in Silicon Valley. You want to know why there is a major diversity problem in Silicon Valley? Yes. There is explicit and obscene misogyny and racism, but the biggest problem is less explicit albeit just as systemic.

White men tend to hang out and befriend other white men already in their “circle.” When some rich person or VC firm’s buddy is like “hey I need money for this thing” they are like “yes, of course, buddy, here you go!!” And they get tons of cash without having to prove anything.

I will not say the startup I worked at but it’s valuation was in the billions and their funding was in the billions with NO product built yet. How they got those billions? A well known stunt performer was besties with the then CEO of a major major tech company and he said “hey bestie give my friend over here hundreds of millions of dollars.” And then this startup got hundreds of millions of dollars. Was there due diligence done? Absolutely. But would the CEO of a major tech company give a crap if his best dude didn’t vouch for the startup? No.

Humans are extremely relationally driven. Merit is basically bullshit. Merit is so so rarely considered in anything. Who are you friends with? That’s how most things are done.

So, Billboard has a lot of friends. Those friends are in major record labels. And those friends only care about making as much money as possible while retaining the status quo.

What goes against all of that? A group of non-white, non-American men that they make very little money from because their label is completely seated in a different country.

So when Like Crazy—a solo record by a Korean artist under a Korean label with a Korean songwriting team—comes in and dethrones FLOWERS, Columbia Records’ darling for the year (no hate to Miley or the song, it’s solid, love Miley), oh my god were they SEEING SOME RED.

The MONEY they PAID to see Flowers on top of radio, of playlisting, of cultural consciousness and a NON AMERICAN NON WHITE MAN just dethroned that.

My GUESS (I don’t know, also keep in mind BTS didn’t seem to have the friendliest exit from the Columbia distribution deal) is that Billboard’s BFFs at Columbia threw a fit. And Billboard responded by saying “of course, bestie, we’ll remove the problem.”

And there goes 100k sales in the next week. Deleted. Gone.

Who is going to call them on that? Hybe could propose an investigation, sure, but here’s the thing — it’s not illegal. Billboard didn’t break any law. It’s THEIR completely made up chart that they can change at any time depending on what labels want (this is how Wall Street works too, btw). Everything is made up to appease the same 50 white men. Bleak but true. Music industry is far from the exception.

Okay so moving forward — now we have Jungkook’s Seven coming out. And Billboard a week before release finally decides to tell us the rule they CREATED BECAUSE OF JIMIN (it’s a shitty rule of course but damn Jimin’s power)—D2C sales no longer count.

Jungkoook makes it to #1 anyway because ARMY is freaking amazing AND yes. Yes, Jungkook got more US promotion, help on Spotify, general promo, radio etc than Jimin.

BUT THIS DID NOT HAPPEN BECAUSE BIG HIT FAVORS JUNGKOOK AND SABOTAGED JIMIN

Remember — everything is determined by rich men in power and who they are friends with.

What did Jungkook do? He went to an American producer who is besties with Scooter Braun (Andrew Watt has worked with several of Scooter’s artists including Justin Bieber, namely on Peaches) who has power to contact his besties at Spotify and wherever else.

And what does going to an American producer unlock for Jungkook? A pop track highly likely to do well in America. So then what does Bang PD do? Recognize that because the dude is a billionaire and he likes money and he says (and we know he said this) “this is going to be a hit.” And there you go, you have the Seven marketing campaign that Like Crazy didn’t quite get.

This isn’t “oh my god BigHit / Hybe hates Jimin.” This is “Jungkoook took an easier, more commercial route.”

If Jimin wants to go get a song like Seven….he can go get a song from an American producer who is friends with the right people.

Instead he wanted to work on a personal project with Korean producers and it’s amazing and beautiful and also went number one and was also a huge success.

And Jungkook wanted this really great and incredibly commercial pop song.

Both are valid. Both are going to unlock different resources for the artist. And both Jimin and JK know this. They chose what they chose. That’s it. End of story.

As for Seven v LC album stock— stock is highly likely determined by basic predictive analytics models (exponential smoothing, maaybe a regression, maybe even something as simple as moving avg idk). LC was a sizable increase from Astronaut and other BTS singles. So then Seven likely adjusted to that increase. Again. That’s it guys. That’s literally it.

So can we please have the tag back and stop pitting JK and Jimin against each other and respect that Jimin chose to do a more artistic, personal project while JK (at least for now) did not?

If you want to be mad at something, be mad at American wealthy white men and their friends.

[midnightsslut]

The thing about Matty is that he’s desperate to become one of the Big Musical Heroes, à la Stevie Nicks or Bruce Springsteen, but given his status as a nepo baby and, well, as a somewhat talented, but not outstandingly so, songwriter, he will never make it happen just by releasing music. And so he’s grasping at straws, trying to find his way to immortality, whether by pulling his bland male loneliness edgelord performance or by trying associate himself with the red scare / dirt bag left crowd, but each attempt is doomed to fall flat, because he’s simply either not sincere about it or not intelligent enough to go about it the right way and all the way. His own manic episode with Taylor was just another symptom of this desperation: if the act and the music didn’t work, he probably thought he had the chance to be immortalized through this “wild, fated romance” of these two tortured artisteeees, and to attach himself to Taylor’s rock-solid musical legacy. Didn’t know what he was in for, though. Immortality comes with a price, which clearly was too heavy for his delicate little shoulders to handle.

yk this is actually a really interesting analysis. it’s spot on. a lot of the lines in tsmwel and down bad just wonder if this was all a project, another attempt at cultural analysis for him. were you doing experiments on me? were you writing a book? you pretended to be sincere and above the fray, but you were performing the whole time.

one of the most overlooked parts of the ttpd epilogue is that she calls it a mutual manic phase. he was just as self-destructive and reckless. he wanted a fated love, like you said, but likely because he thought it was his calling or whatever. taylor was doing it because her entire worldview had shattered, and she was clawing at the air to regain control of her love life.

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

don't you forget about me

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

๑ Summary : will you be true to your word that you won't forget about Eddie when both of you stood on your ground with your hopes and dreams succeeded?

๑ Word Count : idk if y'all like longer fics, but I'm just eyeballing it on the right amount, I'm so excited for this one hehe

๑ Warnings : 18+ Songwriter!Eddie Munson x Popstar!FEM!reader, cursing, use of y/n, highschool classmates, set in modern era (but with 80's aesthetics) Eddie is (21), reader is (20), Eddie is also very shy doesn't know how to express he feels but he cares, reader is jittery and rambles when she's nervous! VERY CUTE! I promise :))

๑ What to Expect : friends to lovers, unrequited feelings, FLUFF! this can be slightly awkward but I am a woman of my word it would be absolutely adorable!

๑ Note To Reader : I just had this idea that Eddie and reader while reunite after so many years later and they both can't handle that their friendship has never changed! it's still pretty rock solid! 😭🫶🏻✨

๑ Author Note : I worship John Hughes films, so, you know the drill! 😉 and um- sorry if I'm bringing myself some of my fics in this but the beginning happened to me in real life, so, yes, I miss that specific person (yeah the same guy that had a crush on for 10 fucking years 😃👍🏻) I haven't seen him since 2018 👀

"Stop- what are you doing?!" you said to him while having a breathy laugh

He smirks as he looks at you within his eyelashes as he tries to hold you still while writing something down on the back of your hand

"Eddie, this is ridiculous" you say to him as you shook your head sideways but a fond smile is sitting on your lips as you glanced at your back a bunch of students are hollering in excitement for the school year end because knowing damn well that whatever he is written down on your hand it will not stay, it would be easily removed once you took a bath when you get home

But, you don't mind it anyways, you smile at him as you watch him curiously as you can see his lips muttering different words under his breath as he writes

"You're the one who is being ridiculous" he says to you not looking at your eyes yet

You chuckle at his reply as you playfully roll your eyes at him

"There" he says as he brings back the cap of his blue ballpen, you heard it with a click

You bring your hand close to your face as you read what it says

"Don't let anyone else stop you for following your dream"

you lightly giggle when some of the words are not aligned as it goes wonky down on the back of your hand but still it's nice and you liked it

"Don't forget about me when you get famous with your singing career" he leans forward to get close to you, so, you could hear him clearly

The hallways are filled with whooping and screaming in excitement of students that are cheering for the school year end, Eddie chortled at the sight of it

You missed the way he looks at you

You raised your head as you flash him a sweet adoring smile as you nod

You shyly taken a back from his words of encouragement that really meant true as you judge by his tone

You snort "Okay, Eddie"

A smile tugs to his lips as he leans his back on the railing as he spoke again "I mean it, Y/N"

You look back at him and you directly look into his eyes

"Just don't ever forget about me, okay?"

It's very heartwarming to you that he is so kind "Of course, I will never forget about you, Eddie"

How would you ever forget Eddie Munson?

When he's the only one guy in your school campus who is so respectful towards you?

That was 2016, nine years ago

You've been classmates since 7th grade and even though you don't both have the same section from 8th grade and 9th grade

You still see each other and interacted a little

You kinda wish that he was still your classmates all those years

Sometimes, though, you winced at the memories when you're with him, you cringe at it at how you make things weird and awkward

You hate it when you get all so jumpy and nervous around him, I mean- it's just Eddie but the problem is that he doesn't know that you just realized it back in 8th grade that you finally figured it out that you developed feelings for him

You both weren't exactly close

Yeah, both of you tease each other and make fun and silly jokes sometimes

Yes, you both have a few conversations and slightly deeper talks about both of your families when your teacher on P.E class partnered the both of you together for the dance project

That's the only time that you ever both talked real to each other

That little moment, until now is still vivid to you

But still, you're not that close to him

He was just a good friend or maybe just a good classmate that you had

You encountered him again back in 2018 when both of your paths crossed while being on the escalators

You noticed him first but before you call out to him, you made sure that it was him because you moved on to another school after 9th grade, so, pretty much something's have changed but him?

He never did, he is still stylish as ever and so are you

But of course, both of you grew up

You're now already looking at him and you expect him to notice you, so, you didn't do anything at first and when you both finally met in the middle of the escalator and he is still doesn't saw you on the other side and he is mere inches close to you and you're too fucking shy to call his name out, you tried to tap on the handles to make a sound but no to avail, as you had no choice but to say his name

"Eddie!"

He whipped his head around the second you call him

He smiles and leans back forward as the both of you stare at each other

You shyly wave at him as you duck your head down to look at where you're going

From the corner of your eye, you saw him reached at the end of the escalator, his eyes still locked on you

But goddamn, it's 2024, you're 20 and he's 21

Both of you are college students now

Your feelings for him remained the same way and all of the crushes that you had from elementary to highschool

He's the only one ever to take over your heart this long

So long that sometimes, you wonder, if you try to confess it, so, it will be all over

But isn't that embarrassing? since well....

You haven't seen him since what?!? 2018???

2018 was the last time you ever saw him

You also haven't talked to him for years

Besides, seeing him on his Instagram profile but that doesn't count

But you did some risky stuff and you made such a big deal out of it because you're too overreacting with your giddy feelings for him

Like for instance

You complimented him on his Instagram stories in 2021 and he only heart reacted on it

You greeted him on his birthday for the first time ever in 2022 (you're wishing that he won't find it weird that you know his birthday and you hoped that he still remembers that he also wrote on your slambook back in 7th grade, that's why you knew) you also send your pictures with him from the field trip that you both had in 8th grade

And that right there, you received a message

A message that is so short but so endearing and it really means a lot to you

He says that he is sorry for not reaching out to you after all of those years passed and he is glad that you hadn't changed ever since then and he appreciates and he is so grateful for the highschool memories that you both had together

Even it's just a short amount of period at that time

2023, you greeted him again on his birthday but he only said thank you

You kinda hoped that he'll message you

But, girl- thank god that you aware of the term called "reality check" because why would he message you all of the sudden since that you both didn't knew very well

You sigh in hopelessly romantic manner wishing that he'll talk to you someday

Yeah, a smile grows on your lips all the time when you always receive a notification that he likes your posts

Damn, only a notification from him already lightens up your day

How fucking great, that's how pathetic it is

"5 minutes then you're good to go!"

Okay, fast forward from your train of thoughts, right- you got a show to run

You're a popstar now and you made it like you always wanted to be

Despite, everyone from your school bullies tries to pull you down

Eddie

Eddie is the only one who believed in you and supported you all the way even both of your lives are different now than before

While in the autograph signing table

"You're such an inspiration!" A young girl said as she beams up as she watches you sign up of your portraits photograph

"Thank you so much, sweetie! I'm very happy to hear that, did you had fun?"

She aggressively nods as she starts bopping up and down on her heels in excitement, you chuckled at that and you gave back the signed picture of yours to her as she gives you huge smile as she takes her leave

You didn't noticed the next person as you start signing

"As you walk on by, will you call my name?"

The sound of the person's voice is too unreal for you to hear and to register of what you just heard as you paused on what you're doing as you slowly raise your head up at the person who is standing in front of the table across from you as you gasp that you thought you're not going to see him again after 2018

But, now, here, he is finally once again

You've always dreamed about this

You've always wanted this to happen

It's unbelievable

You know that face and voice and that iconic smirk on him as you take him in

"Eddie?" You're still gasping in shock as you cupped your mouth in surprise as you look around you and your eyes are twinkling as he looks down on you in adoration and now the other fans that are waiting in line are getting curious and they flash you a smile as they relished and witness the reunion of the both of you

He grins as he nods as he shoved his hands onto his pockets "Ah- she remembers me!" You giggled to his classic antics

He hasn't changed

You could hear everyone who is asking, the buzzing "who is he?" "omg- they knew each other?!?" "wait- maybe he is the guy from her songs!"

You're too overwhelmed from all of this that you almost forget that you have to sign all of the pictures

You motion for him to lean down as you say "Can you wait for me backstage?"

He smiles "Yeah, sweetheart- I'll meet you there"

You sheepishly smile at him again as you gave him access that made everyone eyes goes wild, the crowd seems to go nuts over it

And by that the following question had been like this

"Who is the lucky guy?"

"Why is he getting the special treatment?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

You don't give them all the personal information from your life and all the details but you confirmed that he is the guy from your songs and you love how your fans squealed and get thrilled from this

After an hour, the show is over and you bid goodbye to your fans and thank them for attending, you stretch your arms out and massage your neck as you exhale as you headed into the backstage

"Y/N's a star now" he leans his back on the wall as he smiles at you

He says the moment you moved the curtains on the side as you snort at his comment

You went into the small comfort room as you change your clothes into much more relaxing attire

"Hey, Eddie, I hope you didn't get bored for waiting"

"Nah, I don't mind it- sweets"

Once you get dressed, you open the door, so, you can talk to each other as you start to remove your makeup with a cotton pad as you double cleanse with rinsing it thoroughly

He watches you put a tinted lip balm on your lips, he swallows as he hangs his head low for a while

You groan at the hairstyle that you had earlier but you absolutely loved it getting all glammed up but you're just so tired and wanting to get this everything off so you can get to rest

Both of you kept talking but you didn't notice how he looks at you and watches your every move from removing the pins and hair ties from your hair from brushing it and you let your hair down as you grab your shoulder bag

He is so entranced by you like as you do too

Only if he knew

And only if you knew

His daze has cut off the time when you're literally now in front of him, he snapped out of it when he tries to recall of what you just asked him

"Do you want to walk outside?"

"Y-Yeah sure, come on, let's go"

You told your crew that you'll be back and you look out for them and always saying thank you for getting the job done

The walk was.....pleasing....but too quiet for you

It seems like Eddie can read your thoughts as he finally spoke up

"How many years had passed?"

A knowing smile is showing onto your features as you glanced at him

"9 years"

He raises both of his eyebrows "Damn" as he chuckles in disbelief

"Yeah" the smile still lingers on your lips

"Did you get to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Your band? Corroded Coffin?"

There's a glint on his eyes as he stops to his tracks as he stares at you for a moment

"What?" You ask him in confusion

"Nothing, it's just- you still remember that?" He tilts his head at you as he squints his eyes

"Well, of course! you told me not to forget about you, right?"

"You're always true to your word, sweetheart, I like that for you"

You both sat down on the bench in front of the fountain as you watch random kids playing

He sighs but he notices that you're awaiting for his answer as you quirk an eyebrow at him as he snorts

"Uh, no- Jeff, Gareth and Me, played for 4 to 5 years, I think? We had a blast but I realized that being a rockstar, it's not for me permanently"

"But, I thought you always wanted to be rockstar"

"Yeah, well, we got a record deal for a while-"

"What?!? Really?!?"

He chuckles to your excitement as you turn your whole body facing to him

"Yup, and we- uh- did a little tour here and there but, it just felt like that's not what I was looking for" he shrugs as he looks down as he starts to fidget his rings

You notice that, you always do, it's his nervous habit, you smile at him sadly

"How about Jeff and Gareth?"

"They got all their own ambitions and all of us took the same thing and we agree to not totally disband but, maybe, someday I don't know in the future, we'll get back to where we started"

You nod at him in understanding "I still feel superior to be one of the very first audience" you smirk

He whips his around at you at that and he blinks slowly like he just had a flashback

Yeah, if he's supportive to you and so do you

"the most loud cheerier ever, I gotta say" he laughs as you facepalmed as you can remember all of it

"So, what do you do now?"

"Uh, I'm a songwriter"

You react in delightful way and he chuckles at your face that you make

Both of you reminiscence your highschool memories as both of you look back at it

"Y/N, you-"

"Yeah?"

He hesitates for a few seconds as he chuckles as he dismissive his hand at you

"It's getting late" he says as he clears his throat

Your smile slightly falls as you glanced on your watch

It's been 2 in half hours

"I guess, we better get going then"

You both stand up as he walk you through the parking lot

You dig your nails through your palms as you think twice if you should tell him right away how you really feel about him

You can't chicken out now

You're not a kid anymore, you can take the rejection and well....

At least you tried, so, it will bring you peace

You've been fighting for your whole life not to ask him before, it's plaguing every year passed

Only a few more steps, you can sight your van

You took a deep breath, you know you'll make a rambling mess out of a speech but you don't care

"Eddie" you say as you turn around to look at him

He raises his head the moment you call his name

You walked closer to him as he looks at you as he waits for you to speak

"I know this is going to sound so out of place but uh- I have feelings for you since we we're 7th grade, I didn't know that I had it since I just suddenly realized it when we we're in 8th grade and ever since then and now I still have it for almost 10 years and it's okay, you don't have to-"

"I know"

You're stunned, you can't function to speak anymore

"I-I'm sorry?"

"I know and I'm aware of it"

He can't just say that to you like it was nothing

You're definitely screaming inside to this mind-blowing revelation

Your cheeks starts to glowing red as you feel all bashful to his gaze

Your eyes suddenly can't manage the hold to look in his anymore

"Even before?" You whisper as you wrap your arms to yourself

He's now the one who moves towards you

You're appalled and you didn't even noticed that your mouth is hanging agape as you shut it and swallow

"How did you find out?" You ask without looking at his eyes

He runs his tongue over his lips "from Gareth, and you know him he's got a big mouth and all that"

You close your eyes in humiliation as you bite down your lip

Fuck

You shouldn't have been talking to him or giving a clue

But, sometimes though, you give hints when you're having a conversation with him

Gareth, somehow, finds the missing puzzles and figures it all out

Traitor

You couldn't stand here and you feel ashamed of what you just did, my god, what are you thinking?

"Listen, uh- it's good to see you, I gotta go" you say as your drag your heels to walk away from him as fast as your feet can take you

But, he reaches out and holds your wrist making you stop

"Y/N, don't go"

"Why?"

"Because-" he sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair

"I'm no expert in showcasing my feelings, okay? I-I'm shy"

Your entire discomfort of being flustered has completely washed away

You find it amusing, well, Eddie has always been shy but really???

There's nothing to be mousy about when he's with you

"You're shy?" You echoed what he just said as you pursed your lips together

He scratches the back of his neck as he clicks his tongue as he nods his head slowly

You exhale "Well, fuck- Eddie, I'm shy too! I can't even blurt it out loud of what I've been carrying for what?!? 10 years?!?"

You start pacing back and forth in front of him as he breathes through his nose

"See, Eddie, I've always liked you, okay? or maybe I took your kindness way out of line" you throw hands up

He gave you that doe eye look and you avoid looking at it as you continue rambling at him

"I can't even comprehend why? Why am I still clinging onto you for all these years? I hate that you still made me swoon over you and make me feel things!"

His mouth starts to slowly hanging open to your subtle confession

"You know what's unbelievable to me? Is that you don't know me and I don't know anything about you but still it feels like I knew you even though we don't talk a lot back then and it hurts, it hurts that you're so big-hearted and it pains me that you're just so mellow person" your voice cracks and that's where the time the water works starts to fill up in your eyes

You sniffle as you quickly wipe your tears from your cheeks "You're the only guy that has ever been so nice to me, the only who cared, the only one who hasn't changed towards me since highschool, I don't even know what's the reason why"

He is still remains silent, probably still processing every information that you just told him

His eyes softens and his heart is begging to leap forward outside of his chest

"Y/N" he holds your forearm softly as he runs his thumbs over it, you shivered from his touch

"Have you ever wondered why I still don't have a girl beside me?"

He is still single?!? What?!?

You gulped as you look at him with hopeful eyes and tear-stained cheeks

He smiles down at you as you scrunch up your face in a shameful way that you don't like him to see you crying like this

Oh

That's right

You haven't seen anyone with him since elementary or highschool

He had a couple of silly crushes that you heard from your classmates before but still

You don't saw anyone else with him

And that alone made you think a lot since Eddie is not an asshole, it's mind-boggling

You're still in denial that you might think he has the same feelings for you

As if

"Eddie- I think you're a great human being, anyone is lucky to have you"

He chuckles slightly as you dodged his point

"I didn't date because why?"

You take all the courage that's left inside of you as you look at him

"You already have my heart, darling"

Your eyes flutters to his admission, your heartbeats faster that it might burst any second

He likes you?!?

"A-Are you sure? I don't u-understand- why didn't you m-make a move before?" You stuttered, your voice sounds so small and it makes his heartache

"I was a coward" he pulls you closer to him your eyes widen but you melt to his touch

"W-What about the messages that I sent you? Does that mean anything to you?" A sprinkle of insecurity is showing through your tone and he catches it, he reassures you that it means a lot to him

He grins at the birthday wishes that you make before

"I appreciate them all, I-I just didn't know how to express it in there, so, when I found out that you're have a show in here, maybe it's time to take it to the next level, it feels it's the right thing to do in person"

He embraces you for the first time and the only time that you ever became this much closer to him, you feel his warmth enveloping you his arms surrounding you in the most cozy way possible, you sigh in content as you squeeze him

"Feel better?" He asks as he still holds you tightly

"Yes" you whisper softly as you smile against his chest inhaling on his scent, it's intoxicating

The moment you pushed yourself away from him, you slipped on the thin ice as his reflexes are fast enough to catch you before you can hit the icy cold ground

You gasp as your eyes goes everywhere to his face as you held on him to stabilize you to get back up on your feet

He's so mere inches close, his eyes sparkle as he stares at you

He slowly lifts you back on, both of you didn't break eye contact

He can't help himself as his hand crawls at your waist to flush your body against his, you fight for your breath for the idea that he's about to do

His eyes flits through your eyes and to your lips, he goes for it as you close your eyes as you kissed him back

"Is it too late?" The smugness is radiating off of him when you chase his lips to peck on it

"I think we both waited on the right time" you say as you kissed his cheek

His cheeks blooms red as he dramatically freaked out as you let out a fit of giggles

"I'm relieved that you're patient to finally let me get out of my shell"

"Oh, be thankful that I have a wide patience or else I'll fucking lose it"

He laughs as he rest his forehead against yours

"You're the most perfect girl ever"

You smile brightly "And you're the most perfect boy ever"

Your crew call out to you saying that you have interview tomorrow morning

"Be with me?"

"Forever?"

You snort as you elbowed him as he catches you off guard pressing another kiss to your lips

"I love you, Y/N- you have absolutely no idea"

彡★

[monstress]

favorite 2023 korean album releases

episode1: love — soyoon

i loved her first solo album and i have been ecstatic by how much love this album has received because her skills as a songwriter just grew exponentially. what a suave, confident and powerful album. 'till the sun goes up' and 'canada' - the duality of a woman...i'm in love.

dipuc — cacophony

if you're not up to cacophony discography, i would highly recommend this album. from the first track, it was like she's immediately tucking you into her coat - crooning you an intimate sonic odyssey. the run from 'Lean Your Body On Me' to 'End' had me screaminggg. for the season, the track 'Christmas' is gorgeous.

notwitzki — beenzino

dammit...he's still good. beenzino's technical prowess has not slipped since his last release and while i was ready to be punched in the gut, this was a surprisingly tranquil listen. truly just an album perfect for a relaxing night drive with the boys, the girls, and the theys. 'Travel Again' and 'Change' are standouts to me.

pat pat — risso

if you don't find one track you can't groove to on this, you may be entitled to legal compensation. a citypop album i can't get enough of during the summer. the disco track 'SPF' and smooth r&b 'daydreamer' should've hit them to the mainstream stratosphere. it's soooo unfair how they don't have a romance kdrama ost under their belt already.

love pt. 2 — colde

starting out with my number one spotify wrapped artist. what else is there to stay...impeccably engineered k-r&b album with solid bops, an underrated featuring track ('heartbreak club' is the best track of the year to me - the reggae influence, the smoothest beat switch of the album, chan hyuk's 2000s flare rap line delivery), and a surprise cover of a korean indie classic.

sichimi — sumin

a chill, downbeat album to wind down after a long day with an ending that makes you wanna go back to the start. listen to this album just for 'Closet' where sumin and uhm jung hwa are just trying to out queen each other. obsessed.

zip — zion.t

it's been 5 years since his last release that i actually yelled when i saw the notification he released a music video because i wasn't expecting it all. as a long time fan, i loved the evolution you can see from 'oo' with the detour at 'zzz' culminating on this album. witty, eccentric and earworms galore, it's so solid. the lil ditty 'stranger' and the sweeping 'the things i love' (kim hae sol, you don't give me both a jazz solo and a choir in a track and expect it not being my immediate favorite) are gorgeous.

machine boy — silica gel

amazingggg rock album - i was blown away by the first track alone. you know they'd go so hard at concerts. also shoutout to 'machineboygong' for being a nine minute masterpiece which i recommend for you to listen at least once. it'd be remissed not to mention their latest album 'power andre 99' is astonishingly excellent as well.

no one can hunt me — joonie

my favorite experimental album of the year. if you're into electronic, this is a great listen. moody, dystopian, warped tracks that only spiral downwards to isolating madness. it's only four tracks and my fave constantly changes.

____

honorable mentions: yukika's "time lapse", ashmute's 'this place no longer exists', suzanne's "new life, new mind", dpr ian's "dear insanity...", epik high's 'screen time', code kunst's 'archive 01', voyeur's 'same dream, huh yunjin's 'blessing in disguise', thmoon's 'dormant'

[nanowrimo]

5 Tips for NaNoWriMo First-Timers

Feeling nervous as a new Wrimo? NaNo Guest Demi Michelle Schwartz has advice for you! Read on for tips on how to make sure your first attempt at Camp NaNoWriMo is a great one.

Have you heard about the NaNoWriMo or Camp NaNoWriMo buzz? Are you on the fence about taking the challenge for the first time? If yes, I’ve been in your shoes.

Last year, I got a new novel idea I was eager to write. I love challenges, and NaNoWriMo looked like the perfect time to draft my story. Still, being a first-timer gave me nervous butterflies. Little did I know I’d win my first NaNoWriMo with a finished draft at 73,000 words.

Whether you’re planning on participating in Camp or thinking ahead to November, I have five tips for you.

1. Plot and Research in Advance

First, I can confidently say I wouldn’t have been successful if I didn’t plot and research. Having a solid story idea from the start gave my writing direction each day.

If you’re a pantser, this may contrast with your process. Rather than completely plotting the novel, see if you can at least plan major beats or turning point scenes. That way, you’ll have plot points to write towards.

Also, doing research in advance reduces the amount of times you’ll have to pause to look something up. You may have to google information here and there, but a head start will make these internet-surfing adventures minimal.

2. Plan a Writing Schedule

Planning a writing schedule is key. For me, I’m most productive when I first wake up before I’m swamped by the day’s tasks. Also, I write well before bed, as long as I’m not too tired. Knowing when you write best will allow you to plug in time to work on your story.

Also, look at your calendar and plan accordingly. Part of my NaNoWriMo goal was writing every day, but I had to work around other commitments. Last November was a busy month for me in my songwriting career. So, I had to adjust my writing schedule during busy release and press days.

Having a plan for when you’d like to write and being aware of days you can fit in more time with your story will give your journey structure.

3. Remain Flexible

I can’t stress enough how important it is to remain flexible. No amount of planning can prepare you for curve balls or days you’re not in a creative mood.

If you go into NaNoWriMo thinking all your plans are set in stone, you may find yourself feeling anxious when something veers off course. Remaining flexible gives you room to adapt while staying on track.

4. Interact with the Community

NaNoWriMo has a special community. Whether you’re connecting with other writers on the website or on social media, everyone is so supportive.

There’s nothing better than participating in an event where writers are cheering each other on and sharing experiences. You may make friends and connect with critique partners and beta readers. Most of all, you’ll realize you’re not alone as you take the NaNoWriMo challenge.

5. Celebrate All Your Wins

Finally, celebrate all your wins. Recognize when you draft your first chapter. Give yourself a pat on the back when you hit a certain word count. If you’re doing a streak, feel proud for writing several days in a row.

Sometimes, as writers, we only focus on our end goal. It’s important to remember the small wins along the way play a role in reaching the desired result.

There you have it. Those tips allowed me to succeed during my first NaNoWriMo. There’s an international community of writers ready to welcome you, so get out there and become a Wrimo!

Demi Michelle Schwartz is an author from Pittsburgh, PA. She writes young adult fiction and enjoys the mystery, thriller, and fantasy genres. After earning BAs in Creative Writing and Music from Seton Hill University, she went on to pursue her MFA in Writing Popular Fiction at Seton Hill and graduated with her degree in June of 2022. When Demi isn’t working on her manuscripts, she’s busy chasing her other dream as an award-nominated songwriter and recording artist. Check out her website, Twitter, and Instagram! Photo by cottonbro studio from Pexels

[mandu-17]

Always been you | Kim Minnie x reader

Part 2

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: Hiii could you do an exes to lovers!au with Minnie from (G)I-DLE please? thank you (:

Warnings: Drinking champagne, one vulgar word, cheating

Genre: ANGST lovedwritingittho!!

Wordcount: ~ 3,624

A/N: just so you know both Lisa and Rosé are NOT idols in this scenario, Rosé is reader’s current girlfriend. enjoy reading and have a beautiful week:)

To many, Nicha Yontararak was known as (G)-IDLE’s vocalist - Minnie. But truth be told, she was far more beyond that. To Minnie, learning languages was a piece of cake. She was even good at whistling. A great dancer, gifted songwriter, promising actress, passionate pianist.

And most importantly, your first love.

Long before Nicha even began dreaming of becoming an idol, the two of you were best friends. Well, more acurately, it was the three of you against the world. Lisa was your shared friend from school. She even helped Nicha and you get together since both of you were utterly clueless about your true feelings for each other. Those were the days, you thought with a melancholic look in your eyes. Careless and beautiful. Everything was way easier back in school. The three of you used to hang out daily after classes, do homework together, watch silly tv shows.

After Nicha left to Korea, nothing changed between Lisa and you. If possible, you got even closer in order to heal from losing a friend. Nicha was incredibly busy with trainee lifestyle and then soon after debuting it was a rarity when she’d have time to reach out to old friends. Lisa stayed in touch with her though. Despite everything, their bond was solid enough to last. You, however, weren’t that strong.

Long distance relationships never appealed to you. Nicha had to accept your point of view, she was aware that leaving Thailand would be equal to losing you. Obviously, the decision was probably the hardest one she ever had to make. It took her long weeks of overthinking and sleepless nights. Many difficult conversations had to be done before the two of you officially said your goodbyes. It was heartbreaking for both of you especially considering how young you were back then.

Nevertheless, it made you who you are today. Everything happens for a reason and breaking up with Nicha was necessary to make you stronger as a person. It led you to your position right now. With a stable job, new apartment and lovely people in your life you really got to forget all the pain you went through during that period of time.

“You ready?” Besides, you still had Lisa.

She never changed, you smiled at your reflection in the mirror. Still had that amusing habit of walking inside your home without knocking. Frankly speaking, she spent around half of her time at yours.

“Almost, yes.” You straightened your shirt as Lisa joined you in the bedroom grinning from ear to ear.

The reason behind that smile was the fact that Minnie and her band mates were currently on tour with few days off in Thailand which presented a perfect occasion for a ‘small get together’ as Lisa called it. She was so excited about Minnie visiting home, she drove in the pouring rain in the middle of the night straight to you so she could pass the message in person.

It had been an adorable sight, her eyes shining so brightly while her whole body was drenched from the rain. Although a part of you was very hesitant about going. You couldn’t remember the last time you actually saw Minnie, sure she was on numerous billboards all around the city, here and there on the tv. But being in the same room as her? Talking to her? And about what? What if it’d be weird? Would it be awkward? Probably.

Truthfully, you were afraid of facing her after all these years. Afraid of what you might feel while seeing her up close.

From what you saw, she’s gotten even more beautiful nowadays, more confident. She grew up to be this attractive celebrity - what if she changed? What if her feelings for you changed as well?

You could go on and on about what ifs, luckily Lisa was there to calm you down. She truly insisted on going. She promised that Minnie was the same sweet girl she used to be. You saw it in Lisa’s eyes. It was important to her that you’d go too. She announced that without you, she wouldn’t go either.

To ease your stress, Lisa even suggested you asking Rosé to go as your date.

Rosé was your new girlfriend, it’d been around three months since you became official. You met her at work as she was sent in delegation from Australia. It clicked immediately. Rosé asked you out. First it was coffee, then dinner, later she needed a guide around the city. Admirably, she was able to keep finding new things she might have needed your help with. Language barier was her most often used excuse. That’s how much she cherished your comapny. After many dates, she had the courage to let you know that she liked you more than a friend. She fell in love, she admitted.

Your relationship with Rosé truly made you see colors again. With no doubt she was a wife material, the sweetest soul you’ve got to known. Her family was also very fond of you. They kept thanking you for taking care of her in a foreign country. It was painfully clear to see how much they missed her. Rosé also never hid her homesickness from you. So when she told you about going back to Australia for her mom’s birthday, your heart jumped out of joy. With your relationship still fairly new, there was no pressure for you to go with her and meet everyone. There would for sure be many other opportunities for that. In fact you wanted Rosé to spend this time while fully enjoying her family’s presence. Only later did you realize that it’d be the exact same weekend that Minnie was organizing her get together.

So, now you were screwed.

Of course Rosé, being the wonderful woman she is, was ready to cancel the flight and stay with you. Sometimes she was impossible. You had to physically drag her to the airport to make sure the gifts she bought didn’t go wasted.

With Rosé away, Lisa became your only lifeboat.

“You look great! How are you feeling?”

“Very nervous, let’s just get this over with.” You sighed loudly.

“Relax, Y/N. An hour from now you’ll be tipsy and just having fun.” Lisa wiggled her eyebrows while dancing with her shoulders.

You did not have it in you to ruin her mood. She deserved to be happy, you wanted to see her this lively as often as possible.

“True, that’s a very realistic scenario.” You raised your index finger up to her while agreeing. “We should probably get going.”

With a giggle, Lisa helped you pack most important things to your bag before you were finally able to leave the apartment.

The contrast between your silhouettes was hilarious, anyone could put an imaginary line between Lisa and you. She walked in happy skips, her hair were bouncing up and down her shoulders - everything about her screamed ‘excited’ and ‘ready to party’. On the other side, you were walking very slowly, the feeling of your heart rapidly beating in your chest made you sigh heavily from time to time. Although, you had to admit with a ghost of a smile, a little part of you was looking forward to seeing Minnie again. A little ray of hope made its’ way to your mind trying to convince you that tonight was going to be eventful.

In the elevator with cozy music playing, Lisa and you were chatting freely about your days when your phone dinged announcing that you got a message.

Corners of your lips raised when you saw Rosé’s selfie - she wanted to show off her newest purchase which happened to be matching Minnie Mouse hoodies.

You gulped thickly. What a funny coincidence.

~

Nothing really changed in Nicha’s family house. It remained looking very classy and elegant. Now the living room full of wooden accents was crowded, especially around the piano that was busied with Nicha and her mom playing cheerful melodies. (G)-IDLE’s members were trying to sing along, other guests and Minnie’s family clapped to the rhythm.

Lisa and you arrived fashionably late, but seeing the heartwarming scene that welcomed you, you thought it was probably worth it.

“Lisa! Y/N! You’re finally here!” Minnie’s dad was the first one who saw you entering the room. His hair got far more grayer, you quickly noticed although you worried nothing after he sent you that same, warm smile of his.

His words made many heads turn to look at you curiously. By the corner of your eyes you spotted few people whispering between themselves, but for you time stopped the second Minnie looked at you.

“It’s been so long since I last saw you!” Her mom beamed before approaching the two of you with her arms widely opened. “Lisa, how are you doing?”

Firstly, she embraced Lisa which gave you a minute to clear your head. It certainly didn’t work when you noticed Minnie not taking her eyes off you on her way to greet you as well.

“Y/N! I missed you so much, how are you?” Minnie’s mom crushed you in a warm hug, she always treated you and Lisa like her own children. Heart of this woman for sure was made of gold.

Minnie’s dad didn’t even let you reply as his arms wrapped around you tightly, it seemed like he also missed you deeply.

“I’m good, it’s very nice to see everyone again.” You smiled at the parents while also addressing Minnie’s brothers. Long ago they all were your family. You forgot how much they cared for you and how easy it was to just be yourself in their company, in their home. For some reason, you fitted there incredibly. They were your people. Even after all this time, you were able to feel their warmth and kindness towards you.

“You grew up so fast. We’re very proud of you.” Minnie’s dad got you melting with his words and that friendly glint in his wife’s eyes had your knees go weak. You wished to keep talking to them for the whole evening, but it turned out you became one of the highlights of the event. Everybody who already knew you from times when Minnie and you were dating, was eager to catch up with you or at least say ‘hi’. It was quite enjoyable, a bit weird feeling overall, but at least you were able to ignore the reason of the whole get together for some more time.

You knew you’d have to face Minnie sooner or later, but the fact that you could delay it brought you some sense of comfort.

She knew what you were doing.

Not only did Lisa betray you and straight up exposed your discomfort to Minnie while texting on the way here, Minnie simply still remembered your habits when being nervous. And now it was hard not to notice the way your eyebrows kept furrowing from time to time or how much you gesticulated while speaking about non-complicated things. So when Minnie finally saw you getting yourself a glass of champagne alone, she immediately made up her mind.

“Long time no see, huh?” The way your whole body stiffed was so visible, she almost smirked.

“Minnie, hi. How does it feel to be back?” You turned around to look at her for the first time this closely. Divine, was the only word that could describe her evenly.

“I’m very happy to spend some time with friends and family.” Minnie stepped closer in order to also grab a glass of expensive drink. She then raised it up to make a small, intimate toast with you.

You gulped at the sudden proximity and how Minnie leaned in to nearly whisper in your ear. She was still using the same perfumes, you realized, feeling brave enough to eventually meet her eyes.

“I’m glad you came, Y/N.”

Nothing changed in the way she was looking at you. That precious glint that was in her eyes once ago, was still present. She smiled innocently, as if she had no idea about her impact on you.

You have a girlfriend, you idiot.

Rational voice came back. Although, it was unachievable to think about anything else while being this close to your first love.

~

It was a terrible mistake to come here.

Wherever you glanced there was a piece of old memories embracing you. Paintings on the wall, blankets, your favorite cups, even the sight of the garden itself was reminding you of your home dates with Minnie. When her parents worked late and she invited you over. Her brothers often spent time with you as well, all four of you playing cards and board games. There were also many times when Lisa joined for sleepovers or long movie marathons.

It was overwhelming. Slowly becoming too much. You felt trapped in your own nostalgic mind with nothing to ground yourself with. You tried so desperately to think about Rosé, praying that she was here with you to squeeze your hand. She was way too good for you. Your emotions that night proved that you did not deserve her.

Your arm was slightly shaking while getting the third glass of champagne and it certainly was not the alcohol intake. That’s when you heard it.

River flows in you.

The first song that Minnie played for you.

The song that Minnie used to ask you to be hers.

The last song she was listening to before leaving Thailand.

It was your song.

You turned to the piano, Minnie was playing it effortlessly. Delicate notes wandering around the room made everyone admire her talent yet again. There was this sad frown on her face. It was killing you. Physically, you couldn’t catch a breath. You felt like crying.

Then you suddenly felt someone wrap their arms around you from behind.

“Remember when we used to dance to this song?” Minnie’s mom smiled against your shoulder blade causing you to relax.

“Beautiful times.” Your hands joined hers on your waist, while she swayed you left and right.

It was often exactly like this. Minnie playing, her mom and you dancing or rather her teaching you how to dance properly. If Minnie’s dad was around he’d usually take photos of you three or took care of the fireplace. So simple yet so meaningful. Just like the embrace you were currently in. Warmth radiating from Minnie’s mom eased your anxiety while soothing you. She just knew what to do. She always did.

You turned around once the song came to an end in order to thank her for the dance. You bowed your head to her before exchanging small but important smiles.

“Y/N, you’re still my favorite.” She winked at you.

“Mom!”

Both of you glanced at Minnie who just approached you. She shot her mom a stern look, warning her not to make things worse. The older woman chuckled.

“We’re not together anymore.” Minnie clenched her jaw.

It hurt when she said it.

“I think I should go.” You saw Minnie’s mom open her mouth. “I’ll just go find Lisa first.”

Hurriedly, you walked over to the couch where, as you assumed correctly, Lisa was animatedly talking to one of Minnie’s members - Yuqi. This emotional rollercoaster had to end. This was enough. Far beyond to the point you already felt like a piece of shit laying in the pouring rain.

“Lisa, we’re going home. Come on.” Your friend eyed you oddly, she was in the middle of a certainly entertaining conversation with the Chinese woman. With her arm resting on Yuqi’s thigh, she was definitely comfortable and not ready to leave.

“The party’s still going, though. Look, Yuqi and I are having a lot of fun. You should join us-” You knew that tone perfectly. Lisa was way too drunk now to go home. She was at the peak of enjoying herself. Thankfully, you knew you didn’t have to worry about her safety that much because it was usually the point when she’d stop drinking and feel the alcohol taken in by now. “I’m so tired. What time is it?”

With a defeated sigh, you glanced at your lockscreen. Rosé’s smiley picture was staring back at you. You were disgusted with yourself.

1:53 AM.

“Almost two in the morning.”

“How about you two stay the night?” Yuqi chimed in with a nervous smile. When you made eye contact, it seemed like she could already feel your conflicted vibe and didn’t want to make the situation worse. As a matter of fact, Lisa and you were introduced to all of (G)-IDLE’s members earlier that night. Although, you weren’t sure if she knew about what your history with Minnie was. “It might be dangerous to go home with this sleepy cat.”

“Yes. Let’s sleep here, Y/N.” Lisa’s eyes shut the moment she put her head on Yuqi’s shoulder. “Minnie will cuddle with you.” She mumbled quietly, so it was only Yuqi who chuckled.

“They’re right.” Minnie spoke from behind you. “I think it’d be safer if you stayed.”

She gulped when you glanced her way. You looked exhausted with your lips pressed into a thin line and furrowed brows, on top of that your skin was very pale. To Minnie, you were perfect. She always admired your physics not mentioning how in love she felt with your personality. Even that quick eye contact with you had her heart racing.

If she could only turn back time.

The very first thing she’d do, would be not losing you. Not breaking up and surely not giving up on your relationship. She’d never let go. You deserved someone to fight tooth and nail for you - sadly, she realized it way too late. That Rosé girl better treat you right, Minnie suddenly thought remembering the name from her conversation with Lisa.

“Okay. Let me just get a breath of fresh air.” Tiredly, you dragged your feet to the garden.

Thailand’s hot breeze filled the surroundings making it easier to breathe in and out. You kept your head up to the night sky, the stars were outstanding. They competed for your attention with the lovely panorama of the whole city. Diving deeper into the garden, your nostrils were pleasantly taking everything around in. The flowers blossomed, they added a refreshing feeling. Finally, you sat down on a bench made of stone.

Your thoughts were getting clouded, you began wondering why on Earth did you get to this place. Not garden, specifically.

But this huge hole in your heart. You were shaken up at the idea of Minnie making you feel so many things despite not seeing her for so long. You had a girlfriend, after all. Rosé would be very disappointed.

A sudden loud thud followed by the sound of glass breaking made you jump in your spot. You quickly got up and found out what caused it.

“Great.” Minnie groaned annoyed with a box dropped on the floor. Champagne bottles flew out of it and two of them shattered into pieces. She was crouching down in order to put remaining complete bottles back to the box.

“Hey, be careful.” In a moment you were crouching in front of her, ready to help.

Minnie’s eyes were studying your features deeply before she sighed, aware of how the circumstances appeared to be. “I swear I’m not following you.”

You cracked a smile.

“I know. I’ll bring the broom, do you still keep it next to the trash containers?”

“Yeah, it’s still there.” Minnie would never dare to think that you’d remember such random thing about her house.

She chuckled to herself as she watched you round the corner. Her guts were telling her that it was like fate was screaming at her, laughing in her face.

'This is your person! Get them!'

Minnie wasn’t sure she’d be able to get over you again. It took her literal ages last time and as it seemed - she was still down bad for you. Why was it so complicated, she kept asking herself.

You came back with a broom only to immediately sweep the mess she caused. She was convinced you were her angel all along.

Unsurprisingly, no one noticed the accident. You were located in a part of the garden that provided a lot privacy, away from the windows and doors. Besides, everyone inside was still having fun, not really caring about anything outside the walls they were in.

“Y/N.” Minnie called, determined to let you know the truth. The whole, painful and uneasy truth.

You nodded for her to continue, while keeping your focus on the glass you were cleaning up. But it wasn’t enough for Minnie. Maybe you were afraid of meeting her eyes, you only did so a handful of times that night. And it frustrated her to no end. Slowly, she felt her self control decreasing.

So she stepped closer to you, craving your eyes on her.

You blinked at the sight of her shoes entering your field of view. With a gulp you raised your head meeting her puzzled expression. Minnie wanted to say something, but she had no idea where to even start. Distant chatter of the guests inside disappeared, you kind of forgot about the broom in your hands too.

It was a silent, long eye contact.

The tension in your body didn’t allow you to to move or inhale for that matter. You froze under Minnie’s incredibly intense gaze. Without any words, she managed to send you the message.

Her poor, fragile heart in palm of her hand.

Don’t do it.

Don’t you dare. You glanced at her lips.

Don’t even think about it. Her eyes already said yes.

Don’t do it.

You kissed her.

[gardenschedule]

i’d love to hear more of your thoughts on perceptions of paul as calculating and john’s paranoia. I mean by the various quotes, it seems john was pretty adamant on distrusting paul, so you would think he’d be done with him completely? yet he still thinks about him all the time and even called him when he found out yoko was pregnant with sean. and the fact that he kept asking everyone and their mothers whether or not he should play with paul again during the lost weekend. i mean, there was definitely mixed signals going on?

Unfortunately I do think the paranoia continued up until the end and was quite present in the househusband era, it just never got bad enough (or John could never convince himself) to fully cut Paul off. It might have gotten the best of him if not for a few mitigating factors:

Paul is a pretty persistent guy and continually tried to repair the friendship for most of the 70s. John needs to be pursued and reassured and Paul didn't mind doing that.

Most of the paranoia seemed to revolve around business issues, and they had the 'no talking about business' rule for their phone calls to prevent screaming matches. They also had the 'stop fighting in the media' rule which probably helped.

John was a mercurial personality, I imagine his feelings about Paul (and whether or not he saw him as a threat) changed a lot depending on his current mood, drug use, how things were going with his career/marriage/songwriting/finances, etc

I think John was self aware about his paranoia and insecurity, he seemed to have worked on it (like in his audio diaries where he talked about wanting to avoid feeling competitive with his peers, including Paul)

I don't think Paul ever actually did anything bad enough to warrant ending the relationship? The big betrayal was the lawsuit, and they got past that. If John & Yoko were on edge waiting for the other shoe to drop, to find out that Paul has done something really awful to screw them over, I'm not sure that day ever came.

But ultimately - they were close friends and partners for a very long time. There must have been a solid core of trust, love and respect for them to join their names and share their earnings and plan to work together until they were old. John never completely lost that bit of pride in what he and Paul did together, and pride in himself for choosing Paul.