#and god DAMN i love this podcast

[cicadidae-tm9899]

Y'all when does arthur eat a guy???

[doofus-and-dragons]

It really is a constant cycle of "why would you kill so and so?" "You have to kill so and so!" And "youre a monster!" And "No you're a mosnter!" And then cycle back to "youre so human i love you so much" "No youre so human I love you so much!" Like someone lock these two in a room with a couples counselor please XD. Just decide if you're going on a moral grey path or not. Please, this constant round and round gives me a headache. Love you babes.

I still love them!

[feelixthecatboy]

There’s something about 9/11 and the war that followed being the thing that tipped Leif over the edge after his dad literally predicted a war coming in their last fight:

Dad: You think because it’s the year 2000 that we don’t go to war anymore?

Leif: Go to war with who?

Dad: Doesn’t matter, we’ll find somebody. Ask yourself if the thing you’re working on right now can be dropped on a village somewhere.

Leif’s dad was right, and not just about the war, he knew Leif was hiding something from him, knew he wasn’t where he said he was. Sure he wasn’t working for earth’s government but he did make a deal with the Teds. And the thing Leif was working on maybe wasn't dropped on a village in the literal sense, but it did destroy the economy of a moon, forcing its people into huge debt they won't ever recover from

Dad: A man has to live in accordance with his beliefs, kid. That's what I'm doing. What do you beleive?

[zabala0z]

S3 is once again killing me again with all the lore and I love it. School started up so I might be slower with my thoughts but I got episodes 92, 93, 94 and 95 to talk about!!!

MAG 92: Nothing Beside Remains

Elias makes me want to eat my phone, similar to that one guy from MAG 65 :) I was like screaming the whole time. Of course he can see everything, he literally called the police before Daisy came. I took that as "oh he has spies" but no he can see everything, I hate that. Is Jon eventually gonna get that ability or does The Eye give different gifts. Elias hasn't shown any "compellling" sort of power so I assume the latter. ALSO MORDECAI LUKAS?? I need to see a statement from a Lukas member cause what is up with that family, I'm dying.

Guess Basira is now working there. Hope Elias is paying her. the fact he won't tell Jon shit is so funny to me. So The Stranger is now, basically, the confirmed main villain. BBEG yknow? Mildly terrified, I hate circuses and mannequins so this season is gonna like body me

Not much to say on MAG 93 but whatever entity has the whole "gross shit" as its deal, I'm guessing this falls under it. Purple fungus, the obsessive cleaning, etc. Also yaaay Breekon and Hopes!! Again!11!! get out! Poor Georgie. Love her for being like "Do you even have qualifications??". Jons explanation helped me a lot because during Elias's explanations, I'm mostly just muttering curses to myself because I HATE Him. Avatars. Baller. So Jude Perry was the avatar of The Desolation (destruction, fire, etc) Michael Crew was the avatar of The Vast (sky??, emptiness, general loneliness) and then like Jon is an avatar and I'm guessing so is Elias. I think you can have more then one avatar but anyways.

MAG 94: Dead Woman Walking

Jon refereed to the entity as "The End" which, using my notes, was mentioned in Mary keys statement when gertrude asked where the book came from and Mary said "The End" and said she could never serve it, not finding death interesting. Wild that she can't feel fear anymore??? Like damn. This kinda read as someone in a depressive state in some form. Or like a nihilistic person. Cause like "everything ends, time, it has already ended". Wild.

Not much to say on MAG 95 but I did understand the context vaguely which is more then what I can say for the other war statements. Also Martin and Basira friendship??? Love it. She gets really engrossed in books. I dunno if she was like lying or this is something supernatural related but I love Basira

MAG 96: Return to Sender

Literally screeching oh my god. The fact these things just hijacked this mans business is almost funny. They also talked with a circus ringmaster. Nikola Orsinov? gregor Orsinov? A different one. the statement was given 1996 and Gregor was the leader around the 40's but Nikola, by her description I think, sounded young. So. Who was this ringmaster? Maybe Im getting the timeframe wrong. or they're like eternal. Maybe they like just shed skin and steal a new body, just going by the same last name- okay I don't know.

Also, SARAH BALDWIN???? Welcome back girl. The fact the gorilla skin was stolen by gertrude means she was trying to stop The Unknowing, and likely that's why its been this long for it to happen, because they need that skin. Ew. The Stranger loves skin a little too much. Also Sarah being filled with sawdust and cloves. Great. If Not Sasha was shot, would we have seen that? Or is it different with every one of those, NotThem.?

Anyways, I think that's everything. Every statement, I'm kinda thinking, "which entity does this fall under" now that I know the surrounding universe. Tough since I only know 6 by name and I think there's more. 6 too many entities for this world though

[imtoolazytoo]

So I finished Malevolent episode 12! And I got thoughts!

Spoilers under the little photo cause I… still can’t figure out how to make read more/keep reading links on tumblr mobile :,)

(Heheh I doodled them last night)

Jaune… John… God dammit

I had a feeling John might be The King In Yellow, but I didn’t wanna believe it! But he has humanity now. And… He doesn’t want to kill Arthur. He care him. I don’t care if it’s not canon I say homosexual activities are at play.

Arthur is really doing the Jonathan Sims speedrun any percent. (TMA S1 spoilers here!) I don’t know what’s worse: Being buried into by thousands of tiny worms or having a giant larvae (???) cling onto your stomach and suck the blood out of it! Either way: EEEEWWW

HE CARE HIM

The sounds of Arthur’s happiness and lil chuckles are giving me life

Happiness is stored in the Orthor

The implication that The King can’t fully take over Arthur’s mind not just because of John’s humanity, but because of the memory that Arthur has of his daughter… do not talk to me for 3 to 5 business days

WHAT HAPPENED TO HER, MAN?!?

Love how not listening to John about the lamp immediately screwed Arthur over. Listen to your husband more often, Arthur. Kiss his hand maybe why don’t you do that huh I’d say that’s a good apology oh my god I love them

My screams at Arthur have gone from screams of pure frustration to screams of pure frustration AND concern! Character growth!!! Good for you Arthur!

Oh yeah Kellin’s here. Hi Kellin :D

Fuck I hope I can finish writing this before I get to the bus stop

The dreamlands! WHOOHOO! But also! Oh no!

I didn’t think we’d get answers for what bound John and Arthur in the first season, but I’m not complaining!

…I’m sorry to give some of you older fans a heart attack… But in terms of homestuck classpecting I think John would be a Prince of Void. I’m so sorry.

JOHN. CARE. HIM!

So. That’s most of my thoughts. I LOOOOOVED THIS PODCAST!!! I never thought I’d be able to find anything that recreated what TMA meant to me, and while I still think that… DAMN, THIS IS CLOSE!!! And it’s its own little experience to seperate the two and make this so amazing and RAH RAH RAH I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU MALEVOLENT HARLAN GUTHRIE I APPLAUD YOU!!!

But I do have one big thought in my head. I’m assuming the goal of season 2 will be to kill or just defeat The King In Yellow in order to keep Arthur’s body safe and escape the Dreamlands. But here’s the thing. If John is a part of The King’s soul… wouldn’t killing The King kill John as well? What if we get given the choice of killing The King or sparing him to save John, and Arthur chooses mercy? Because as much as he wants his body back, he doesn’t want to lose John??? I WOULD SCREAM!

And I swear to The King himself if I get reblogs like “You sweet Summer child” “No one tell her” “Oh you poor soul” like I did on my Faroe post I will throw kitchen appliances out of windows

That’s not a metaphor I just think breaking wooden spoons would do the least financial damage to me

[hatchetmode]

Now that the bonus episode and postcard are out of the bag that means I can also share the alt thumbnails that I pitched!! It was such a delight to get to work on such a cool project 💜💜

[captainoftheussthagomizer]

“‘(Theatrically dramatic) Don’t you understand?! He’ll kill me if you do. No matter how fast your security is, he’s faster- just look at that eye!’

‘He’s rubbin’ it an awful lot - is that part of his strategy?’

‘(Breaking from his dramatic tone) No, that’s- just an eyelash.’”

-Peter Nureyev and Nova Zolotovna, The Penumbra Podcast, S3E2

[mossy-bonez]

I want to talk about this au. So let’s begin with the TMA characters that will be around.

Jonathan “Jon” Sims: look it’s the silly eye man our poor little meow meow. Anywho this wet cat of a man just became the pupil of the eye so his powers and connection to the eye are much greater now, I mean so long as he feeds himself properly and he’ll definitely do that, won’t he? No no he won’t, at least not at the beginning, what were you expecting Jon Sims to properly take care of himself? When has he ever done that without being forced too? Any way he still looks mostly human, I mean he has more eyes then most but he tends to keep those closed or hidden, and his eyes are such a bright green that they almost look like they are glowing(they actually are), and if you look at his skin too closely you might notice black lines that almost look like a web of shattered china, but that’s fine. Also small green eye symbol float around him, most can’t see them all the time but they may catch glimpses of them out of the corner of their eyes. Tape recorders still follow him about they feel different now though, less like they’re from someone else and more like they’re from him.he is very much the ceaseless watchers special little boy, and it fucking shows, so much favoritism.

Martin Kartin Blackwood: he is an avatar of the lonely, like he is fully an avatar now. It’s fine everything is fine, he’s just choosing not to think about it for now, that will make it go away. Any way he’s pretty much how he was at the end of season 5 bit less stressed given that he’s not currently going through the apocalypse, but he’s definitely not forcing himself to act small anymore, he is actively choosing to take up space and stop putting up pretenses. He’s here an a new universe with his boyfriend and come he’ll or high water he is going to make the most of it.

Helen: she is alive because I miss her, also I think distortion door shenaniganery would be fun. Any way he just didn’t kill Helen this time that’s all, and given how little of the distortion is human, or really ever was, she got whisked away to somewhere else as well

Monster Pig: he is my baby and he is here if I say he is, I would kill for him so he is alive and well and freed from his concrete tomb. Anyway depending on if I make this au pre or post weirdmageddon his situation is a bit different, either he replaces waddles and is babyfied, or Mable finds him in the woods and befriends him and now he is waddles’ brother. Either way new pig friend for Mable, and my boy is thriving and being lavished with love(and maybe he occasionally just eats whatever problem they are dealing with, because he is a good pig 🐖)

Simon Fairchild: I know that in canon he is left behind but you can’t tell me that this 600 year old sky grandpa was human enough to be left behind, also as a vast aligned person I can’t leave my evil grandpa behind. He is here and he is having a blast just vibing and slowly adopting any vast avatars that show up to rebuild his family.

If y’all have any other characters I can add and good reasons for them to be able to show up, I will maybe add them

Next up will be some stuff about the gravity falls side of things and a definitive decision on weather or not this is set pre or post weirdmageddon

[coconut530]

Another derp for the episode of violin(ce) ~ 🎵🎻🩸🎶

[captainofthetidesbreath]

absolutely obsessed with whenever they do this when talking about Spahr's state of mind

[batsplat]

every time i open jorge lorenzo’s instagram there is some new batshit crazy stuff he posted, it’s a joy every time, the man is a motogp legend, and he decided it wasn’t enough, he needed to defeat every other corny millennial man alive by exclusively following women and posting dude bro advice

this is so funny to me because honestly I have no clue what he posts on instagram beyond what gets reported on motogp news sites or (more commonly) what crosses the pond to reddit, but can't say I'm surprised... I don't use instagram myself so I have no clue what these men actually do on there lol. these days I am getting further updates on their activities via tumblr! quite glad not to be directly experiencing a lot of it!

anyway yeah that does all sound very... him. kinda reminds me of that 2013 controversy where monster energy did this thing where they made a video of him showing off his mansion filled with bikini-clad models. the video ended up being taken down, it was seen as tasteless both given spain's economic situation and... y'know, the gender of it all. and jorge does have an... interesting approach to social media in general. also definitely the most opinionated of the retired aliens these days! casey probably comes in second and he does have a lot of thoughts about many things, but generally speaking it's not QUITE as relentless as it is with jorge. he's really missing a bit of a filter lol, there's an entire career arc here where when he was younger he was all about finding himself and establishing a character and explaining to the world who he really was, before getting burned by the world and being way more closed off for quite a few years, before retiring and relaxing a bit and sharing everything that comes to his head. for better or for worse. he may be cringe but at least he's free

[boxoflooseteeth]

im relistening to the magnus archives, and i just finished season 1, and Holy Shit i know ive heard this before, but im literally foaming at the mouth

[intertexts]

<< so ive had these saved since u posted them because holy shit. hi. roswell apollo dodgeball momence. AS SOON as u made the rose lalonde post i was like. oh god oh fuck. how do i reblog this without giving them any hints. oh god. oh no. they dont even know . oh ashe winters youre so rose lalonde coded welcome to your grimdark mode! yippee!

also. smiles. full trickster art as well :) hi i am holding your shoulders so u dont tremble out of ur skin like a chihuahua. giving u one of those thunder jackets. how are u feeling. how was prime defenders season 1 was it fun. was it good. are you mentally preparing yourself for season 2. oh god

um. yeah. forever angry that they still put mark in jail after that. what did he do to deserve this (<< the crimes) . free my man his kid just got possessed by the same thing that killed his wife. ohhhhh i go fucking crazy thinking about between-season mark winters. he was unconscious for all of that. who tells him? he doesnt even know . he just wakes up in fucking prison apparently

im literally ill dude im gonna be fucking sick

[belowthetides]

I will be normal about highly popular podcasts made by shitty studios and I will not go on a rant about how everyone likes to talk a big game about workers rights until the point their favorite show gets a new season and then they’re right back on their bullshit because I get that these shows mean a lot to people and people don’t know or think about the issues of the production company but I know and I think about it and it makes me grind my fucking teeth to dust

[deadghosy]

Slytherins boys during 4th of July with their American! Reader

Warning: of course this is modern era‼️😋

Ft. The riddles, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, Lorenzo Berkshire

TOM RIDDLE

Your dark aesthetic of an English boyfriend is staying his ass inside 😭 he’s not coming out!!

He DOESNT fuck with them bugs or those loud fireworks…yes he moved to America for you. As much as he loves you. Hell no.

He’s in the shared room with you as he read a book, listening to crime documentary and podcasts. Or he’s just cuddling with you.

If you ever did drag him out to pop fireworks wit you, he may or may not pop them at his brother if mattheo comes to visit.

“Y/N!! GET YOUR MAN!!” Mattheo says running from Tom who had a evil grin on his face. Chasing after Mattheo with a sparkler.

you just stood there waving your sparkler around giggling.

at least he's having fun!

MATTHEO RIDDLE

Mattheo is popping fireworks like a god damn maniac…please control him…

Literally bought an illegal firework and lit it outside…PLEASE get your unhinged man or else people are gonna call the cops on him.

STOP CAUSE HE’S DEFINITELY THE TYPE TO THROW POPPERS AT THE NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS 😭😭

A MENCE TO THE STREETS AND YOU!! YOU ARE NOT SAFE!!

Chaotic just like his damn brother with that evil ass grin. He’s literally the king of being an asshole.

But if you don’t like fireworks, don’t worry…he’s got you bbg. He’s a softie for you anyways.

He’s literally probably buying noise canceling headphones so you can relax with him.

He’s a cutie patootie under all that gremlin energy he’s got 

DRACO MALFOY

This sassy ass man…this bbg dude..is probably staying his ass inside. I’m sorry, but he’s probably confused on why “American’s” celebrate such a day even if you educate him about it.

At least you grill him food and still love him.

That’s all it matters

BLAISE ZABINI

He’s already starting bullshit if you don’t like popping fireworks cause of how loud they are.

If you’re asleep, he’s literally like playing loud ass firework sounds or he is outside popping them loud ass works 😭😭

Honestly I do picture American! Reader just grilling while Blaise is getting ready to pop these babies.

But since I headcannon this Slytherin boy to be a romantic, he’s taking you to a firework show. He loves you like that.

Putting the blanket below you guys, cuddling you with that charming smile of his.

It’s just perfect!

Best 4th of July ever.

THEODORE NOTT

Get ready to wake to this man cooking at 4 am so you can eat.

He knows you love to eat you beautiful foodie, so he’s making you some food.

Watches the fireworks from inside and then goes out to pop his own

He’s a romantic as well, so he might just take you out for a firework show

He loves you like that.

And if you don’t like fireworks, don’t worry you two can just enjoy the fireworks inside

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

He’s the type of boyfriend to try and grill for you only to fail and need assistance. 😭😭

Literally though he will try again only to succeed with your help tactics and then he will be so proud!

Pops small fireworks with you. He doesn’t pop big ones as he did look into the holiday to see so much accidents with big fireworks.

“Enz, honey.. it’s okay…” you say holding up a pack of big fireworks. Lorenzo looked nervous as he took the fireworks from your hold. “Sorry love..but what if an explosion hits you?”

Please calm your man down before he packs it up makes you two just watch movies instead of popping fireworks.

End of the night and day, he loves the food a little bit.

[hatchetmode]

SCREAMS FOR A MILLION YEARS!!!!!!!! 

THE HOTEL IS BACK!

We're back starting this month on Patreon! our new bonus episode

THE CINEMA

is out RIGHT NOW for Patrons!

Our lovely postcard was done by @hatchetmode who's got a real great crispy liquid style style that pops off the screen and right into your heart. She brings a real NickelodeonGore to her work that clearly fits the show like a glove.

Look at the gore in the seats! The colors on the screen, the poses of the actors, OUR BOY IN A WEE LITTLE BASEBALL HAT oh my. 

Welcome to the collection, Hatch! Everyone make sure to check out the rest of their amazing Hotel art.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE

I can FINALLY share this big BIG BIG news: Lily '@manxmoss' Bensinger, Birdcage author and The Raven postcard artist, has joined production as an official writer!

Keeping with Hotel tradition of working with our amazing fans and watching Lily tirelessly write, illustrate, and promote Birdcage for almost a year I just HAD to break my 'don't read the fanfic' rule to see what the fuss was all about.

And wow. The hype was real. Birdcage is a fascinating and sometimes intense novel (at 370 pages it simply IS a novel) that oscillates between lining up perfectly with how I picture these characters and concepts as well as striking off into new unthought of territory with totally new perspectives and interpretations.  

After a few months of editing work and lots of conversations, well, just listen for yourself! We'll all be hearing much more from Lily as the new season unfolds and the show continues. 

As much as I try to continue as many Hotel goodies as I can I also always have my eye on how we can grow, change, and evolve into something fresh and interesting and different. Working with Lily has been wonderful and I'm thrilled to welcome her into the fold and I can't wait for all of you to hear what she's got!

This episode will be on the main feed in a few months, to listen now join the Patreon!