#and get surgery later on also bc of that

[butchcable]

thinking about how ive medically transitioned twice because of being intersex (forced to take hormones at puberty onset bc i was going through the “wrong” puberty) and no one told me what I was being made to take were hormones that would physically change me in a way that i didn’t consent to

[wantbytaemin]

okay just one more little thing. and then sleepy time

[short666bread]

[marc--chilton]

Can't stop thinking about the mgv au, specifically about how it would have been when Stacy left House after the infarction and Wilson came to pick the pieces up... 👀

IT WAS SO BAAAAAD. so awful. wilson had already been helping stacy a bit via medical advice (little things she'd worry about that weren't discussed at the hospital regarding home care) so the transition from stacy's caretaking to wilson's was smooth, all things considered. stacy had called wilson to take over because her decision on house's surgery led to house snapping at her constantly, and between her own guilt (she doesn't regret the decision she just hates that it gave house so much grief) and house's abuse afterward, she couldn't take it.

an alpha leaving their ailing omega.... wilson's hindbrain hated stacy for that for a long time. he understood her point of view, but the hindbrain is not ruled by logic. wilson's protectiveness of house started here with a ferocity; he left his own wife home alone to stay with house while he was healing and only left the apartment if truly necessary. if house hadn't been so actively miserable -- not only is he still in pain, but now he has to grapple with the fact he's now disabled, AND stacy's bond to him is withering (in my mgv bonds fading is an uncomfortable process that can have pain in the gland where the mark is located, mood swings, depression, etc) -- it would have driven him crazy how bad wilson's hovering was. as it was though, it really what started twisting their friendship in a strange direction.

house's hindbrain is affected by all this, too. he's bitter and depressed and pissed off but the omega in him is crushed his bondmate abandoned him. if it had its own voice it would be wailing because that's what it felt like inside his head. not good enough/broken omega/alpha decided i'm not worth it

but!! wilson is there and he's an alpha.... and in his time of need? the omega part of house LATCHES onto him as though he imprinted on him. when he would whine and stacy came in to check on him, he would bite her if she came close. not a corrective little nip, but a bite so strong he could feel the bones in her hand grind. but when wilson runs in (yes, RUNS in) house is more receptive to his form of comfort, even when wilson makes it more intimate than strictly necessary (rumbling coos, petting his hair and wiping away pained tears, even calling him honey so tenderly it makes him ache)

wilson doesn't even call bonnie the entire time he's there. he doesn't even think about her until she calls HIM. it's the beginning of the end for them and wilson knows it but house needs him right now so for the time being, he really doesn't care. when he does finally come home to try to spend a night with her and give her some attention, she's so put off by house's scent on him she pushes him away (so wilson just goes back to house's place. because at least there he can sleep on the couch and not have a panic attack worrying that house will fall and hurt himself while wilson's away)

[lycankeyy]

I don't post about him as much but since it is explicit that Funkycule and Cyborg BF are counterparts like. "Same BF who went through different things" as opposed to being distant timelines like Funkycule and Roleswap. I hope it's obvious that the Penilians "fixing" BF's disability isn't supposed to be a good thing. The Penilians are violent eugenicist fascists. The fact that he (and other impacted cyborgs) are children is not accidental. Invasive procedures and treatments are very often forced onto disabled children without their consent, usually without any discussion on whether or not it's necessary because from the doctor's perspective of Course it's necessary why would you want to be disabled?? And then the kid isn't allowed to dislike it or want it to stop because if they want to be "normal" then they just have to tough it out

Fc!BF is aware of the negative impact of his disability but he still finds pride in it. It's part of him. Cyborg!BF never got to take that journey. He never got to decide for himself what he wanted. And even if he did decide he wanted to be able to speak more clearly, he didn't get to decide how that happened. That journey and experience of coming into himself was ripped away from him by someone who didn't care about his feelings or consent, who didn't care if it wasn't necessary, who saw a disabled child and said "we can fix that", who told him to be grateful afterwards. Which is a cruel reality many children have to deal with.

[dogbunni]

Irrelevant picture but, anyone who is here from AO3, I am going on hiatus for a while. 2025 has not been kind to my family and it's taking a toll. There has already been one death this year, and I now have two family members with terminal cancer. There's more going on and it's just all piled up. I need time to focus on my family and grieve the losses I've already felt this year.

I will be back and I will finish You're (Not) My Neighbour. I love that fic so much and I want to be in the right place emotionally to write the funny, dramatic, lovingly stupid ending I have for it in my head. I'll see you all at the ending, when I'm ready to get there. In the meantime though, I'll probably still be shitposting through my grief here. Lol

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[gregmarriage]

can’t decide what to do tonight, barely feel like watching a show or a movie, or playing a game or anything

[guinevereslancelot]

being moved to a different classroom for my last week while the head of the program pretends she's doing me a favor but she's really doing my supervisor a favor 🙃

[perilegs]

ive been either working and going to school at the same time or doing the other when im not doing one for so long i'm going to start my first summer vacation in five years after tomorrow! yay!

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

i was talking to my mum and i was like “yea i’m really struggling to connect to my peers and even some of my friends” and she was like “well you have kinda been through the wringer and had to mature super fast in a way that you can’t relate to them about” and. yeah.

[hanscapons]

okay but im so sad cause i see all those t timeline videos and by like 4-6 months those guys look and sound so different and im almost 6 months on t and its barely changed anything. my voice is a bit deeper and im a bit hairier and ive got a tdick but nothing else has changed at all and im so sad about it

[what-even-is-sleep]

We KNOW I’m on break from college cause ya bish is reading for fun again!!!!! (Atm: The Martian by Andy Weir— VERY GOOD!!!)

[chaoswillcalmusdown]

my middle cousin (age 13) was struggling to open a soda bottle and handed it to me rather than to her dad (my uncle) and i've never felt better tbqh 💪🏽

[meo-eiru]

https://www.tumblr.com/meo-eiru/757680642898182144/what-would-elias-be-like-with-a-darling-who-pushes?source=share

Omg im so sorry but isnt elias the given name for pretty boy jealous bf? This ask was abt him bc i thought that was his name but ty for the extra yummy silas lore 🥵

Oh my god lmao I’m sorry I’ve been answering Silas asks like a machine gun I thought you also said Silas😭

The reason Elias fell for you was never because of your appearance. He just loves and craves for your attention and validation. He is pretty but that’s pretty much the only quality he has. Surprisingly enough he was born into a pretty normal family with a pretty normal name which he changed to Elias later on because he thought his old name wouldn’t impress you.

He doesn’t exactly have hobbies or special skills so he’s a little self conscious. If you insulted his appearance he’d quickly break because he believes that’s his only good quality. If that quality is also worthless then why does he exist?

That’s one of the reasons his jealousy temper tantrums are so bad, he’s convinced you could leave someone boring like him easily so his guard is up 24/7

Similarly to Silas he would try to change his appearance to fit to your liking but would be more extreme at it. If you don’t stop him he might even end up getting multiple plastic surgeries.

He lives to be validated by you, you’re the prettiest existence in his eyes and he wants to be like that for you too

[vaspider]

Last year I wrote about what happened at Pride when a couple of kids didn't understand why us older folx were so bitter about Reagan.

This year, I have something a little softer.

Someone who looked a little older than me came up to the booth wearing a pink t-shirt proclaiming him one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, San Francisco chapter. As I was ringing him up, I asked if he'd been involved for a while.

"Yes," he said, "for a bit," in that way us middle-aged people do when we're sort of wincing and feeling old.

"Okay, well," I said, sitting at my register in my queer booth full of queer clothes and patches and pins, topless in public for the first time. (I had pasties on for my own comfort bc I was working, but I live in the city of the Naked Bike Ride, and I took full advantage). My baby brother and both of my partners ran around behind me, my brother wearing a loose tank top that makes his scars visible.

"I need to tell you that you all helped keep me alive."

He blinked at me as I continued, "I was a kid in high school in the early 90s. I lived in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania, and what you all were doing was so loud and so out there that even I heard about your work. It was one of the things that kept me alive. So thank you, and please thank the rest of the Sisters."

I heard about them through people in my parents' church complaining about them, and then I sought more information through the beginning of the internet, through newspapers, through anything I could find. I found the cover of Newsweek that one of the Sisters was on. I read about their "exorcism" of fundamentalist preachers whose books sat on the shelf in my parents' basement and probably still do. I saw how loud and colorful and unapologetically queer they were.

The knowledge that someone was out there, so full of defiant joy, refusing the shame that people kept trying to put on them? Oh, that kept me alive. I saw them, and I knew I could make it through. I wrapped my hands around that knowledge, and I held on so tight.

It took me a long time - a long, long time - to unwind most of it for myself and get to the point where my fat butch ass was sitting bare-chested in the July breeze, looking up at him as he held out his arms and said "you're actually giving me chills." I answered, "I mean every word. You helped keep me alive. So thank you."

I never know what to say when people come up to me in public and tell me that I helped them or changed their life in some way. I appreciate it, and I genuinely love the people who apologized for "fanpersoning" at me last weekend, I just never know what to say. I'm incredibly grateful that the Sister I spoke to was incredibly gracious, saying "usually we give blessings, but I feel like you blessed me." Another member of the party let me pet their tiny dog, who was not very interested in me, and that's okay. It was an overwhelming day. Then, they moved on.

Me? I'm still sitting with the fact that I looked last weekend into the faces of people who didn't know they were holding my head above water, and that I got to tell them the work they do matters. It's a rare thing to get to tell someone, "You saved me," and I'm treasuring it.

Last weekend, I wore my new battle vest with nothing underneath it, unless it was too hot, and then I just sat in my chair, chatting and ringing ppl out with my skin free to the air. I decided last year that top surgery isn't for me, but that also I'm going to love this body unapologetically, and it's no less a transmasculine body because the soft new dark hair on my belly isn't accompanied by pink scars along my ribs.

I didn't get here on my own. I got here because someone else cut through the undergrowth ahead of me so I could take another step forward. Here I am, decades later, still taking step after step, one at a time, and trying to lay paving stones behind me.

Last weekend was another step along that way, another step through unwinding the fear and shame and sadness that my parents and their church built into me. Another step out of hating myself for hiding parts of myself for so long, for acting out in other ways to distract people from my queerness, for feeling so much guilt when other people tell me I'm brave, because I know how much of myself I hid for how long because I was a coward, because I was afraid.

Another step into expiating stigmatic guilt.