#and get further ostracized

[wraithdance]

Good morning sexy ppl on my phone! I have so many damn papers due in the next few weeks so I'll be offline trying to catch up on that, I see all the DMs and the asks about the poc in fandom experience/questions about that damn fic. I will try to answer them when I can, I'm not ignoring.

I'm otherwise encouraging everyone else to just dead further conversation about the use of the slur in the fic of that writer and how it has a different meaning than the one in America. Because at this point, it's only being used to concern troll black and brown writers/have a defense ready to avoid holding anyone accountable. It's continuing to prevent real conversation about the big issue of how black/poc characters are written and how poc in this fandom struggle to feel safe here.

I already have a educational post about the word in question drafted that should hopefully explain better and we can move the fuck on! But please send @ungodlybre some love, she is an afrolatina who has been getting completely dog piled the last few days regarding this situation.

[thirdtimed]

thinking about the jimmy scar pearl venn diagram and absolutely just disintegrating over it

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"normal" meaning "unquestionable" & the embrace of that cropping up anywhere such as an aim to be on the unquestionable side of a Normal / Weird binary, thus surely being a comfortable effortless indelible version of Good that stems from "just be normal"

ppl out here like freud 2.0 where well they had the sufficiently normal Nuclear Household family(tm) experience so they're sufficiently normal for it, versus the weirdos who had the Questionable family times so as to end up with Issues, surely unlike all those who are Family Issue free, i.e. normal, no question. like how also Going To School is Normal, so of course there's that idea that anyone who didn't go to school normal style or did but Did That Wrong are the people made Weirder with Issues. & when what's Normal is what's Good is what's Unquestionable it's like why would i need to question it when it's so normal? why wouldn't some rando asshole nepo man be Meritous & Good at business when he's so Successful at it. speaks for itself, same as Your role of being treated entirely differently does, this can't be questioned, blame it on your own failures; again how the supposedly "questionable" experiences (unlike other ones, which need no Legitimate questioning) are pathologized like. people talking about disabled ppl's lacking "social skills" being this meaningful Driver of ableism just like poor people's lacking "financial literacy" being that darn cause of classism & resource extraction, the already Questioned vulnerable [you're just doing it wrong / failing] people are the cause of their own mistreatment, Normal people who are so socially & financially successful are helpless, this victim blaming (can't question it. Normal) sure totally doesn't speak to abuse being "normal" as well

which, good thing abuse totally isn't Normal i.e. in the territory of unquestionable things (with, obviously, the idea that Abuse (Real abuse, if you like) must be Exceptional in addition to, if not to Really be, "obviously" questionable) since if something can't be questioned then surely it's also How Things Were In The Beginning, Are Now, & Ever Shall Be (catholic prayer paraphasing re: god, for referential context) & there's just nothing to do but invest in & play into it For Success & resent / punish / try to eliminate disruption, like people just existing but doing it Weird, c'mon, be a better person please, obviously....meanwhile people out here approaching queerness in a way that accepts & acts according to the unquestionable normal of abuse of queerness, such that oh the "abnormality" of being queer (that is, "normal" people's abuse in the face of awareness of queerness) is unquestionable, such that Oh No, investment in that abuse now & forever world without end amen, & now punching down on the people who are just Being Weird & Disrupting this embrace of the norm: radfems invested in "all bodies will be classed as men & women & the former abuse the latter" & hate women who already disrupt this premise; pointing out ace exclusionism as terf logic just applied in the different context where queer vs nonqueer binary is neatly detected just as the gender binary is & people who already prove that & the way it's defined is not the case are the real problems, infiltrating Unquestionable (Normal) Queerness & delegitimizing it i.e. being The Cause of e.g. homophobic abuse, which will also unquestionably exist, so if we're gonna blame someone as Needing To Change it'll have to be uhhh already also affected Weird people who are ruining things, they're the Real causes of this abuse, so they're basically men, basically cis, basically straight. boooo to trans ace bi pan aro nonbinary gnc people....hardest to be binary gender "same sex" "romantic" "visible" Truly Queer couple currently holding hands in public or in front of family, & it's You Mfs who make it harder, not, yknow, the people who were already always embracing & perpetuating the abuse bolstering Normal(tm) Cishet Just Being Normal. and of course don't forget going after poly people & others disrupting / not accepting premises about Unquestionable Relationship Structures/Requirements. so not just being normal

also the beloved concept broken out that, of course, Being Normal = Being Good, b/c hello, unquestionable?? where it's like meaningless ideas that abuse is Abnormal like ":( hurt people hurt people" (inherently a framing to counter any response to [person is hurting me] that's not silent secret sympathy forever i guess. nobody's using this catchphrase to argue for Hey Quick let's all intervene to stop someone being hurt, lest they go on to hurt anyone themselves) like & yet everyone is hurt, yet not everyone is doing shit where these arguments are broken out after they're already getting away with nonsense & we're telling others to just stop complaining, while also not everyone isn't getting shit on for being "disruptive" & perchance the real hurtful problems for trying to Stop being shitted on, or just have a little more breathing room to day to day live while it happens. everyone's hurt bitch let's get you some "what's the actual patterns & context of supported power imbalance made emergently evident by whose choices & life are constrained & undermined & made smaller" like. or the expanded idea as that well all abuse comes from Being abused, i.e. the Cycle, never mind that abuse is everywhere as per its being Normal, & nobody's intervening every time it manifests despite its supposed exceptionality thus rareness & supposed indication that someone's Being abused to cause it. just gotta roll with it, wow. & pathologize being victim to it, abuser in the making, Vulnerable People are dangerous, those insulated & given more access to systemically backed power in an oh so Normal way are surely oh so Safe as well. the very rich families are all lovely havens. the abused people are treated so well & embraced & supported by all the more Normal people they encounter, certainly not Also isolated, bullied, victim blamed by these Normal friends family coworkers new partners randos in public randos who are "professionals"

but yknow uh literally just be normal lol. aaand post. and like "lol being Anti Being Normal? just like a weirdo" like yeah of course. and what, i'm gonna try to win the heart & mind of someone like "of course you have blue hair & pronouns" & convert them, as would definitely happen if only all transgenderists were Normal about it? and the perspective of "what Unquestionable Good is ever actually coming from striving to get to point at Others as Weird" involves going like "nooo i wanna see myself & be seen as Just Being Normal" instead of like having ideas / arguments about how to be considerate towards people which can be articulated in any other way & involve effort & said consideration (ft. anything able to be questioned)

[trashlie]

I've thought about that group member being Amy and what it would mean for Alyssa. Both girls were first introduced in the same flashback.

They were pressured to do other's homework, specifically English, in exchange for popularity. Neither girl seems confrontational and able to stand up for themselves. They also avoid being associated with Shinae when she tries to stop the bullies.

Imagine she recognizes Shinae and is friendly, grateful for her actions back then, all in front of Alyssa whom she ostracizes.

It would be an interesting foil, if the girls took a liking to Shinae over Alyssa. Just pouring more salt into the wound for her 😢

I never did take note that they were both pressured with English homework - that's a really interesting similarity, right?

To be fair, I don't think we're going to see a lot between Shinae and Alyssa's groupmates - especially with what we're seeing in ep 234 and what I think it means for Alyssa's future. But that said - the fact that Amy was given a name and her note said she'll never forget Shinae's help.... I can't help but wonder what role she'll have. Much like quimchee doesn't put a lot of detail into background characters, she definitely doesn't give them names if they don't have a reason, right? It's why I can't shake the similarity to how Amy looks to one of Alyssa's group mates.

But also.... it's difficult to guess what I think they'll have to do with Shinae, too, at this point. While we know the names of 2 out of 3 of Alyssa's group mates only one has been shown to us with face AND name AND details and it makes me wonder.... like they've got to reappear somewhere, right? Maybe????

I think we're going to see Alyssa follow a trajectory where she gets a solo career, whether she does it by leaving the group or still as a member of the group, so will we see more of her groupmates and how they react to that? AAAHHHHHH idk!

But if Amy IS a member of the group - a. what a wild coincidence lmao in a story where nothing is really a coincidence lmao and b. WHAT DO WE DO WITH THAT?

But you have an interesting point because something I've been talking with my friends about a lot is how we are very likely going to see Shinae becoming everything Alyssa wishes she could, similar to how we are probably going to watch Nol become everything Kousuke feared. To some degree, Alyssa has been spending her life trying to become Shinae, possibly without realizing it. She puts on a fake smile, much like Shinae's bright smile she wore when she told Alyssa how she deals with bullies. She tries to fake it, to emulate this long lost friend without remembering the rest of what Shinae told her. It's a lot like how Kousuke heard what Nol told him his mom said about Rand, but never really took in the part that Nol had never met that version of Rand. They're both so caught up on something about their foil and they never really get to grow because of it.

Shinae has a light that shines so bright, and it draws people to her. Her strong convictions, her sense of empathy, and her courage to do what she believes is right rather than what is easy attracts people to her. She has Nol's attention, Kousuke's attention, even Yui's attention. Shinae will continue to attract the attention of the people Alyssa is trying to attract, will continue to find a sense of self by being authentic in a way Alyssa is yet afraid to be. So while I'm unsure what kind of interactions Shinae might have with possibly-Amy-Alyssa's-group-member, you definitely bring up something that heavily relates to the dynamic I anticipate we'll be seeing: that even the group members Alyssa is unable to win over might be drawn to Shinae instead.

And god, that must feel SO bitter ;________;

[feralbnuuy]

sometimes you remember how you were harmed and the person who harmed you, who to be fair, was going thru some shit, got everyone looking out for them and helping them, meanwhile you had one conversation in the woods like "yeah I know you've been wronged and its antisemitic but she's really not doing well rn so we are trying to help her" and you just get ostracized and ignored for the rest of your time there

[separatismor]

.

[badolmen]

“You used to be so outgoing and made friends so easily! What happened?”

Well, among other things, my ability to participate in sports (and other physical activities I both excelled at and enjoyed) was restricted overnight and I wasn’t able to maintain friends through those familiar avenues of interaction, so I tried others such as chess and academic pursuits, which made my autism significantly more noticeable and therefore made other kids significantly less likely to engage with me even if they did so previously.

Also the horrors.

[princealberich]

HOW DO I COMPLAIN TO HOYOVERSE?

It's easy, and there are MULTIPLE things you can do! I recommend doing each item on this list.

1. SIGN & SHARE THE PETITION

The petition will be delivered to the appropriate cultural reps, in order to complain to the CCP about the negative impression this is leaving on Chinese companies. Genshin Impact is highly favoured by the government for the positive press it gives the country, and putting pressure on the 'big daddy' is FAR more likely to make Hoyoverse buckle.

As of right now, the petition has nearly 38k signatures.

2. EMAIL HOYOVERSE

Email them directly at genshin_cs@hoyoverse.com to state how this has affected your desire to continue playing their games.

3. USE THE IN-GAME SURVEY OR FEEDBACK

Genshin Impact has frequent update surveys, and there is a permanent option to give feedback at any time. You can find it in the Paimon Menu.

4. REVIEW BOMB

Rate Hoyoverse's games, particularly Genshin, with one star on the app store. This has already proven in the past to have an effect, when this caused the team to review the anniversary rewards.

Here is a guide on how to do this!

5. POST IN OFFICIAL HOYOVERSE ACCOUNTS' COMMENTS

Do not be silent! Speak up about your displeasure. It's important that these comments outweigh the rest! Show that we are the MAJORITY.

6. SPEAK UP

Use the tags!

#BoycottHYV #WhyAreTheyWhiteHoyo #GenshinImpact #FixNatlan

Be relentless.

FURTHER DETAILS UNDER THE CUT!

WHAT SHOULD I NOT DO?

The following actions should NOT be taken:

DO NOT spend money on Hoyoverse games.

DO NOT sent threats, to voice actors OR customer service staff.

DO NOT engage with trolls or racists. Block and report.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

It's easy to dismiss this in the face of 'more important' issues in the world at the moment, but Genshin Impact (And by extension, Hoyoverse) is a very influential game and company. It is extremely popular, and directly influences MANY other games and players through this popularity.

This isn't an issue of 'just stop playing'- This is not anger for a game's decisions, it's anger for a precedent. It's a demand that not only should Hoyoverse care about representation, but other, smaller, companies too. If Hoyoverse can get away with it, so can others- But if Hoyoverse is held accountable for their exploitation of culture, then it sets the precedent that other companies have no chance of doing the same.

Like it or not, Hoyoverse has a lot of influence, and the CCP itself values the company for giving China a positive image in other countries. This is bigger than just being mad at character design.

EDIT: It was also pointed out to me that if POC were to simply stop engaging with hostile content, they would have nothing left. 'Just stop playing' isn't fair, plain and simple. POC deserve to play the things that they enjoy WITHOUT being ostracized.

DOES HOYOVERSE LISTEN?

They listen if there's no money lining their pockets, they listen if their reputation is damaged, and they listen if the CCP gets involved. We have direct evidence of this.

Review bombing alone caused Hoyoverse to reconsider the first anniversary rewards.

The CCP forced Hoyoverse to reskin various characters to comply with their laws, which HYV did. (This isn't necessarily a good thing, however, it is still evidence that CCP has influence over them.)

This is by far the largest outcry the company has seen so far, and MANY of HYV's voice actors have spoken out in support for the movement as well. This is not just playerbase complaints, but staff, too.

I recommend following AvenOfStrats on X/Twitter for further updates on the petition's progress, and on other ways to contribute. They also share plenty of resources on why this is important, and guides on how to complain.

[johannestevans]

What I love about the laios/kabru dynamic is that like. Laios is more comfortable with and obsessed with animals and monsters, monsters being his Special Interest

And it's like. One thing feeds into the other - he's alienated so he relates to and studies monsters

And this in turn triggers everyone around him to alienate and ostracize him further

MEANWHILE like. Kabru has always been ostracised because of like, his own features, his light eyes contrasted with his skin, and his early exposure to the monsters of the dungeon nearby

For him BECAUSE of like, not his fear of monsters, but because of the political situation around how everyone there was killed, HIS focus and obsession and his own autistic Special Interest has become other people. Their thoughts, their machinations, the ways they lie and obscure

And because of people's obfuscations, as soon as he meets laios his obsession becomes laser-focused on laios himself, because this is a man with almost no machinations. He's been so focused on animals and now monsters his whole life, and SO autistic without learning to mask

Whereas kabru like. ALL he has is a mask. Esp BC of the implication of racism that he's experienced within the text like, even his face has been treated physically as more like a mask than a human face, and then its just lies on masking on obfuscation on repression

Whereas laios feels every single emotion immediately and painfully, and he expresses almost all of them openly - his love, his enthusiasm, his curiosity, his frustration, and to a limited extent, his rage and anger

Here you have laios, treated like a monster so he's become obsessed with monsters, to the extent that he almost fears people more despite craving to be with them, to be seen by them and loved by them, and to an extent being blind to the extent of their cruelties

And here you have Kabru, not treated like a monster, but treated effectively as less IMPORTANT than a monster, because of other people's politics and motivations, to the extent that he has become obsessed with appearing like The Right Person to every single person he meets

It's no wonder that Kabru should become so utterly obsessed with Laios, with studying him - and no surprise either that Laios should enthuse about this undivided and devoted attention that feels equivalent in EFFORT to love and friendship... And isn't that enough?

And at first, no, but I think. So rapidly it would and could become so. Because laios' loyalty is so fierce and devoted, and I think Kabru would be blindsided by how EAGER laios is to please him even though kabru remains, in his own eyes, distant and a bit apart from him

And kabru for like. Studying laios so fervently and focusedly, as intense and off-putting as that may be, he comes to and will come further to understand laios better and more intuitively than anyone else, and no one in the world but falin has ever BOTHERED to do that

And isn't that love? Kabru might not call it that, might be disdainful at the very idea, but if it walks like love and talks like love and feels like love and takes even more effort than love... That's enough, right? That's good, right? Laios is grateful

And the more grateful he is, the more frustrated Kabru will get. Doesn't he respect himself? Doesn't he want more? Doesn't he care enough to DEMAND more?But laios doesn't like to make demands - he likes to be grateful for what he's given. For kabru.

[rafry]

Euclydia, Cults and Need for Control

Disclaimer: this analysis raises sensitive topics. if you are/were a victim of a cult and the topic triggers you, please refrain from reading further(/seek help). Additionally, I am not a specialist on said topic, nor am I a clinician. But I am a survivor, so part of the narrative may or may not be just me projecting the trauma on a silly yellow triangle. That said, reader discretion is advised! :)

The take: Euclydia is likely to be a cult-like society and the reason Bill, after years of abuse, grows up to be as he is: a power-hungry monster. Let's analyze!

For the starters, The Start. Each state has its own anthem. How lucky that we were kindly provided with the Euclidian hymn (hidden under the code "FORGETTHEPAST")! Lets take a look:

"Two dimensions to and from, You always know which way to go If you're lost, don't be afraid, In Euclydia you've got it made! Run too far too right of frame, You'll appear on left again! Jump too high, don't fry or fret, You'll pop up from the ground, I bet! In this place there is no fear, Roles and rules, always clear, Euclydia, we hold you dear…"

That tells us way more than we could've asked for, really. The most important: Euclydia is a state of Clear Rules™. Everything works perfectly thanks to The Rules and The Roles, and the state is loved by it's citizens. It's might be a caricature 2D utopia, but how it reacts when the rules are questioned?

"Eye doctor of a different kind, who wants to make his patient blind The doctor says: 'three sips a day will make the visions go away' Fussy eater, baby Billy Wouldn't drink unless it's silly..."

If there's anything about cults and the way they make people behave, is that the "wrong" ones in the community are usually ostracized and/or heavily medicated to not cause any troubles. Those people are sometimes called 'heretics', but may as well just be called crazy or insane by their peers. Oh look completely unrelated picture:

"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane Starting fires with his brain"

Honestly, the other time it would be it. Euclydia, if not Is, then sure does Act like a cult in some way. I could've finished here, easily, but there's something missing, isn't?

"The hell do you mean by 'The Need to Control', OP?"

I mean that the BILLVILLE is important.

There's the thing about trauma survivors: some of us, after living a life with no control over ones societal position (ostracization/isolation), body (forcibly medicated) or even mind (feeling of inadequacy), crave for some form of control to be regained.

It can turn toxic very quickly when the only form of control one has ever seen in their life is being The Leader (cult leader/shitty parent/armageddon overlord/you get the idea, it's about becoming an authority figure).

And so, Bill becomes a cult leader! Very possibly covering up the need for control and admiration with what I call "The most inefficient way to build an Interdimentional Portal ever", since, well, he's got to lie to himself every now and then, that's his thing (trauma response).

As for the details:

He uses the dead mans body — the body that wouldn't cause any resistance, thus being perfect for taking under control.

He sees the position of the interviewer as more authoritative than the position of the interviewee — and he swaps the roles. That wasn't enough though, so he demands (politely) to be called "My Lord And Master" for a good measure.

He very possibly recreates some of Euclydia-like order in his own "Town" in terms of expressing individuality. They might've been pretty decent in following scripts, I think.

So, I don't think Euclydia has ever been religious in any way, since that would left some other scars on Bills psyche for sure. But highly authoritative, ignorant, strict in its rules to the point of self-damnation? That checks. That's the place that has formed Bill, after all.

That's the place that he wishes to rebuild.

Maybe not consciously, maybe distorted by his illness and broken memory of a loving-paradise-home that has never actually been that way, but he seeks the comfort of familiarity — most of us do. Familiar stings are better than an uncontrollable too-bright future, isn't?

I hope he does well on therapy.

[sintiva]

ARMINEEEE pt.2

pt.1 of church boy! armin

his dick practically leaked between the soft pillows of your thighs. the fluffy, burgundy comforter disappeared under the tight clasp of his fingers. it felt like you’ve been milking him for hours ‘n hours but it’s only been ten minutes and he’s came…. one, tw-, three times! “y/nnn, i’m gunnu cum, ughh godddu… again —“ the poor things overstimulated himself to the point where he can’t stop, he doesn’t want to. and you’re not doing much, but the casual stroking and warmth of your body has him hooked in between your thighs. it’s comforting, exponentially better than anything he’s experienced.

when you told him he could touch you however he liked: the first thing he reached for were your cocoa scented thighs and how they rose ‘n fell with each curious imprint he placed upon them. they fluffed and molded under his hands like a pillow. hands down the softest things he’d ever felt. he groped you so eagerly, jaw wide and eyes quivering in awe of how you felt. “their not going anywhere, i promise.” intentions for him to relax only continued his exploration like he was starved. “so you really are a goody two shoes? i figured.”

“no-no, i-i’ve done this kinda thing b-before.” he blushes; bound by his own lies you giggle and he feels his face grow hotter, embarrasment like this hasn’t coursed through his bones since the day his parents took his door “you’re lying to me? that’s no good armin, remember?” your fingers caress his face; he’s hot to the touch. “i-i have!” he’s beyond flustered at this point. he grabs onto your wrist and flashes those pretty, pleading, wet eyes, begging for you to stop teasing him so much. with each passing second they grew wetter just like his… yeah. “you just wasting your time at church huh?”

“so as i was saying…you haven’t there’s no need to lie to me, besides—” you straddle his lap, and he sinks further into the bed, his eyes widen in shock. “you’re getting this excited, wanna put it in me that bad? you wanna fill me up this bad thinkin’ about it?” armin swallows back a moan and bites down hard on his lips; flush from sheer force. you feel his thighs tremble and his grip on your skirt tighten, “why are you getting all wet, min?” your brown eyes flutter one too many times, and his heart sinks into his chest. all the breath in his lungs fans out between his lips. is he being ostracized he can’t tell, but when you glance down at him with that look… as you’re dragging your hips harder along the prominent tent in his pants, you’re making him moan so much louder, “didn’t mean to, i didn’t.” he whines and bucks up into you. this long into the night and he’s writhing,, sniffling uncontrollably and babbling on about how good you’re making him feel. “but i didn’t say you could cum, you have to control yourself armin.”

ouch:( it felt like you were upset with him-well, that came a little too late… and he came bit too early. those super ugly khakis that he wore every wednesday for bible study grew warm and wet right under where you sat. soothing, unpleasant, but more of the former, considering its spread. hot, scorching your skin, blue like the hottest flame—spreading in your stomach. you can’t blame him, you’ve been searching for something like this for a while. “didn’t your mama tell you good boys don’t make messes?” bite. this far into the night your skirts bunched up around your waist, and armin’s losing his mind. he’s tried so hard to apologize for enjoying all this — you letting him do everything he pleases. the same excuse tumbles between his lips, in that sime high pitched whiny voice while a deeper flare of red painted his skin. curiosity settles in your stomach, to think he’s acting like this — and it’s not even sex.

“i’ve….oh’y god - never felt anything like…this — like you—” you can hear the nervousness in his voice, see it in his face. avoiding, your gaze, his eyes shift back and fourth, uncertain of where he can look that won’t expose his innocence. that won’t expose how abundant his joy is. the delicacy in his voice, the slight tremble and strain in it. can’t you tell he’s working so hard to keep it in? but when you grind down so hard on his hips. bend forward to bite down on his lips, and lick them to lighten the sting, he’s cracking bit by bit. he can physically feel every part of his body throbbing and how his lust for you overflows. while your thighs envelop his length, working so hard to squeeze out every drip of cum. his chest falls and that high piles up on him, higher and higher, till it comes crashing down and he’s pumping out another sticky load.

“what are you blaming me for, you’re the one whose fuckin my thighs outta control like a pup.” his moves are sloppy, out of time, uncontrollable. “‘s too much.” bubbles out. his eyes roll to the back of his head, his fingers clamp down onto your thighs. “you don’t wanna keep using me ‘til you’re satisfied?” the hint of sadness embedded into your question deepens his feralness. it hurts so much to keep going; to keep getting consumed by your offers of induction. the ‘keep goings’ and ‘don’t stop, i want you to make yourself feel so good baby’.

“you’ve been hidin’ this big ole thing from me ‘cause of your dumb parents. you’re so mean armin.” words mean everything to this boy. there’s power in every syllable you cast from your mouth. they tug on his resolve, gratifying every action he’s taking. cursing his subordination, his inability to have something like this all the time. his parents fought so hard to “protect” him from all this corruption because, “that girl will land you in trouble, can’t you see we’re trying to do what’s best for you? as your parents? it’s like you don’t care about how you’ll end up, how that reflects on us…”

your words sound better, they don’t sound like you’re degrading him to make yourself feel better. affirmations encouraging all those uncertainties his parents made sure he’d be too inept to act upon. outlining all of his priorities: all the things he could and couldn’t do. truthfully he was tired of it, so letting you have your way with him; in his parents word “corrupting” him felt liberating. this newfound freedom, that his parents warned would leave a stain, felt otherworldly.

“minnn, i want you to put it inside me.” you lift up your legs by the underside of your knees. taken aback, he groans as you fall back onto the bed, thighs spread; your cream white panties were eaten up up by your pussy lips. you pull them to the side, innocently inviting him in. smearing all your mess over your pussy lips then spreading them to reveal your puffy clit. “if you put it inside it’ll feel good.” and he takes the bait. he crawls forward, and his cock twitches. outstretched, nervous; one hand takes place on your knees and the others follows in spreading the pretty girl’s legs who lay in his parents bed with arousal leaking between her ass cheeks. “wanna let you feel something better.”

"i'll teach you how to use it, but it can only be mine, k? he looks so cute and your hearts skipping beats, it's getting so loud that you can barely hear. but as he gets closer to you and begins to line it up, asking questions to make sure what he's doing is okay you hear something. "wait!" your stomach drops and your legs do the same, armin fusses so you plave your fingers against his lips. "there it is." it's faint but you can make out that sound, the eerie beeping of a key pad. the distant notification rings through the house, chime! — disarmed, ready to arm— muffled voices, keys, shoes removed, voices growing louder, creaky floor boards. "you're fucking parents."

the two of you jump up. "fuck, fuck, fuck. armin! you said they weren't coming back til tomorrow! why are they here?" the bed was a fucking mess and armin was frozen while you collected yourself. "i-i don't know." tears stream down his cheeks and he starts to panic, the realization kicks in and he's sobbing. the only thing running through his mind is punishment if his parents catch him, when they catch him and you. the girl, the only girl they've warned him about, together in their room. "they're gonna kill me and i'm never gonna see you again and they're gonna ship me away —you're gonna forget about me an-"

"armin, if you don't stop all that bull shit and listen to me." as you readjust your skirt, you instruct him on what to do in this situation. it hasn't been your first, but you're to old to be worrying about getting caught fucking by old hags "got it?" he's already started pulling the sheets off the bed, you duck into his room tossing things everywhere; pulling drawers open and scattering papers on the floor. he runs the sheets to the laundry and tosses the comforter in first as it was the scene of his crime. the sheets could wait. you dig through some of his drawers, adding to the mess; looking for nothing causing a distraction for him. you pop his window open, the alarm chimes and that tells him he needs to be in his room. it gives you time to hop out while his parents find there way to the back if the house yelling his name, but he'll get there first in enough time to...

"armin robert arlert, you better have good reason for opening your window this late at night, so help me god, before i bolt tha-" his mom's eyes twitch. the back of the house is a complete mess, and armin's jamming to the music filtered through his earbuds as he cleans your mess; the cool breeze of the night sweeping through his room. he's stripped to clean boxers and a white tank top. "what is this?" she wails, hysterical and bitchy as always. "just cleaning, my rooms a mess, ma."

"well fix it. quickly. and my sheets, i didn't tell you to take them off. but thank you." she huffs the last part out, turning on her heel stomping down the hall back to his father.

holy shit. under his breath a sigh that releases all the fear accumulated within the last 5 minutes. we pulled it off. it's hard to hear him, but the earbuds pick up enough his voice for you to decipher the static.

"i told you we would… robert."

"you're a fucking genius, but don't ever call me that again."

"you've got a filfthy mouth, maybe i should've let your momma see how her beloved robert gets down." he smacks his lips and yells a good night, embarrassed again. "who are you talking to?"

[unproduciblesmackdown]

something abt The Family Unit as this bordered site potentially of a little system of authoritarianism being that it's really this example plenty of people have of how like, You Would Think "oh if the people In Charge realize the structural integrity of what they're in charge of & say they're Supporting is being degraded then surely on a practical basis they'd change course? compromise?" & like the compromises Are continually made to shore things up a little longer but it's a pyramid scheme & it's continuously crumbling. & the Logic of the authority is what's held on to no matter what, not whatever else is claimed to be the goal (e.g. having a Good Family, workplace, corporation, country...) & that means having all the power, which is never actually the case or possible so since that goal's never met it's really just about having More power (what's next, constant profit growth), & everything's oriented around That, such that yeah strategic fleeting compromises may be made but as this structure inevitably deteriorates further, i.e. the control as successfully applied power is being lost, it's not about compromising more & more until eventually things are egalitarian, it's more about lashing out & doubling & tripling & quadrupling down on the exact same measures always taken anyways, because of how the entire like belief is in being the authority, expressed by forever only following the logics of authority/hierarchy & control/abuse

that is to lead into how like, the Failure of [ostensible alternate practical goal: the cohesion of the perfect family(tm)] can happen in more obvious ways / on shorter timeframes than, say, the agenda of propping up an empire, & so there's like all this evidence of how even when the theoretically inviolate borders of The Family are ruptured there's like "wouldn't the relevant family members change their approach in the face of this undeniable failure. wouldn't they question themselves." b/c like, surely? how could you not? but the experience being overwhelmingly "absolutely they do not" with instead the doubling down, perhaps the strategic compromises that are then only used to wear away the targeted parties & then (perhaps after an incremental transition) be back at it once that defense is seemingly breached, but the same logic seems to "work" even in situations where whatever Unit is destroyed, partnership, family, friendship, acquaintanceship, b/c the sense of [i am entitled to More] is just like. undisturbed or "supported" by the ruptures & lack of access to whomever, the Denial of what they feel they're already entitled to. the dehumanization of others / No Need to ever have to consider & contend with those ppl's real feelings if you control their life enough anyways is all still at play & there's no room for even Now considering if you were wrong about how someone felt, so the logic might also default to things like "it's a total mystery but what matters is i was / am wronged" &/or "well things would've been great if i had my total authority like i should have & imagine i could have, so basically some Other enemy authority must be at fault (e.g. guess my child was converted by the gay agenda, the devil, the evil outside world, communist spies, anarchists, [the pc police the virtue signalers the woke dei agents the "almost forgot abt 'critical race theorists'"]" that it just so happens that agendas of Autonomy & Equality are ones that seem to inherently insidiously threaten & undermine their own. like yeah you're not wrong about that but in also true [every accusation a projection] form of course the belief must be that They are fostering bliss & freedom & the jealous evil agents of The Other are always trying to stop them :(

like "don't they realize this is counterproductive to the wellbeing of [what they're in charge of]" like compromises may be temporarily made along the way but not Really, no, & when push comes to shove it'll be about the priorizing of asserting & holding on to Controlling Lives vs anything that'd serve anything else. & that again, with families like you might see the decided Failure of that, e.g. very limited or completely absent relationship with an adult child, and you see that like. the Authority guardian/s who are the reason with it don't change their approach. any adjustments are strategic & meant to Ultimately restore the status quo; the people who managed to extricate themselves have to rely on their own ability to actually manifest their own choices to, say, be able to remove themself from the presence of this person if they want. and that like even with that lifelong experience of dealing with that Authority & the system under them it can be so difficult to believe like do they really not even question themself on all this despite the actual external consequences manifested? b/c the Logics are so different. the child made effectively Responsible for the actions of an adult or two / the supposed Wellbeing of the family is so much more used to having to consider others' Feelings & what might make them act xyz way, b/c of that impossible but evident tasking with being harmed if there's any Problems there, versus that the person "in charge of" the wellbeing of the family & individuals therein (& certainly the young children) being concerned with their own entitlement & whether everything seems to reinforce their authority, flexing it if not, disinterest in so much else, resentment for the physical needs of children as a begrudged investment in then lifelong entitlement to kids as property to give deference / whatever support you want. & when these "supported" children are never "grateful" enough, i.e. not noticeably thwarting efforts to access whatever a parent feels entitled to (with, exactly in line with all of this, pretty invariably Issues With (denial of) Any Boundaries, e.g. not allowed to close that bedroom door this is my house, not allowed to not want to be touched i made that body, not allowed to be unsupervised what are you hiding, not allowed to say no, not allowed to have feelings/moods/preferences/opinions not in harmony with mine...) like it's supposedly only an extreme, all the more sympathetic (to the authority parent) escalation of this Ingratitude to, if possible, escape the realm of said authority. can't believe they'd do this to me

just that tl;dr of like "but at this point [authority] is sabotaging themselves i.e. the longevity of any system where they even have that position of authority? surely they realize that & change their approach b/c they Have To?" & beyond "no, not necessarily" like it's so almost Necessarily that "they definitely will not & will just try to 'invest' in their perpetual authority (which is always trying to be Increased b/c it's also never total or unbroken) by upping the violence & lashing out & ignoring w/e they have to ignore b/c they do Not have any actual alternate way to address it" like no the parents lose the entire relationship with children & don't have Realizations abt it, don't question themselves, don't make a real change, don't stop feeling as, & increasingly, entitled

[fumifooms]

Rin, smiling, and nagging

Rinsha Fana’s character is summarized in a couple facts thrown here and there. Because she worries for him, she follows Kabru to help his cause and protect him, and to nag him. She’s a grumpy angry tsundere, but it seems not only rooted in her attitude but on a deep rooted physical level, to the point where any intense emotion she feels will make her frown and scowl even if it’s genuine joy. Her childhood was half spent ostracized in the tallman community her family lived in and half with the elves, where she’s said to have been treated like an animal.

We don’t know how she was raised exactly or who it even was, but knowing she was "treated like an animal" by the elves taking care of her…

Elves are shown to have a highly hierarchical society, not only with their concern with status such as nobility and the purity of bloodlines but also reflected by its social culture imo. They have high society and etiquette, upmost devotion to the queen, very role-oriented, like cogs in a machine, and as such, it’s a bit skewed since most of what we see of the elves is in a military context with military people but they seem to value having emotions under lock and key to be efficient and not bring dishonor, Flamela is an interesting character on this. Don’t be a bother and do your job until you’re called on, fulfill your role, everything else is extra at best inconvenient at worst.

Personally I do think the canaries kept Rin, it’d make sense that whichever canaries got stuck with the job at the headquarters would be barebones with her and treat her like an ‘impounded article’, they couldn’t find another place for her and this way they can get her report on the events whenever she can speak again in however many years, and this way it makes sense that she could keep in touch with Kabru too. They’re used to prisoners, not kids. Being raised in a military context rather than at some orphanage would shape her further.

All of this to say…

She’d already seen the world’s harshness to those who don’t conform in her hometown, but with the elves? Her disdain for those who had formal education at a magic school?

Wouldn’t she become very concerned with proving she is not an animal, proving that she’s smart and skilled in her own right on her own merit, even without schooling. And to do this she nitpicks and nitpicks, because even being pristine isn’t enough to be respected, but at least it’s not giving others reasons to disrespect and dehumanize her. Learning to school her emotions, to scowl as a defense mechanism because anything else makes her vulnerable, because they don’t care about her as a person with feelings, because showing other expressions was dangerous or punished in some way: because it was fit in or don’t fit in and that’s the difference between having your house burnt down and being tolerated, between getting her food or having her questions answered and being yelled at to shut up… Because all her life she’s been surviving in hostile social environments and at the mercy of others, but unlike Kabru she doesn’t become a people pleaser but becomes very self-reliant and wary of socializing.

So she nitpicks and nitpicks and nags, because she’s worried. Because flaws are dangerous. So she has a hard time smiling and laughing, because it’s dangerous to allow yourself to feel safe in being authentic.

It would be nice…

Is my red, red enough? I'm waiting for your teeth at my throat. It’s only good manners. -Stephanie Valente 

[heartfullofleeches]

Rich Yan paying off the popular crowd and bullies initially to tease the quiet kid to further ostracize the quiet kid and be their only source of comfort when the harassment become to much for them to take, only for quiet darling to absolutely floor the first person that touches them. Cue "God, I wish that were me." energy in Yan and pushing more people into the fire to watch their darling walk home with bruised knuckles and someone else's blood on their sleeves

-

"Hey!- Freak!"

Quiet reader remains silent as the bully approaches, digging through the grass as their shadow towers over them. The bully grits their teeth.

Bully: Didn't you hear me call your name? Answer me when I talk to you -

The bully lifts reader up by the collar. As they're dragged to their feet, Reader tightens their grip on the jagged rock they picked up - driving their fist into the jaw of their attacker. The first hit knocks them off balance, the second on their back and the hard pavement. Reader stands over them, dismissive, as their plant their foot on their chest

"f...uck.. wait... I don't even....."

Reader completely ignores them and strikes them with the rock over and over - stopped only by a gentle hand pulling them back and a damp rag wiping at the specks of red sprinkling their face

"Hey there! Got a little something on your face. Might wanna stop now before things get outta hand, yea?

Reader shrugs them off and gets up, walking away as Rich Yan pulls out their wallet. They tuck a few bills in the bully's pocket and pat their cheek as they slowly come to.

"Little something extra for all your help.."

Yan clicks their tongue as the bully turns away.

"Oh, don't start crying now. We'll get those teeth fixed soon."

[hiiikiko]

𝕕𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣

ellie w. x reader | tlou m.list

tw: suggestive uhhhh idk

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

Ring, ring ring!!

You groaned and got up from your coach, you had just started a movie, when you got a call from your girlfriend. When you picked up the phone, Ellie immediately started rambling but all you could make out was, “society of champions.. something something.. hero.. something something something.. can you dye my hair?”

You were honestly stunned, although Ellie very much loved your dyed hair, always complimenting the various shades you had over the past year, you never thought she would want to try something like this, yet, here you were in her apartment.

Ellie was sitting on a stool, her hair divided into four sections, an old spiderman towel draped around her back, and you were mixing the bleach. Ellie said she wanted a reddish orange, to mimic some heroe form the society of champions thing she was really into.

“She can like shoot lasers and stuff! Her hair isn’t naturally that colour, her natural hair is blonde but after she was outcasted by society, she decided to dye it and, personally, I think she did this as a way to continue to ostracize herself so that,” Ellie was excitedly telling you the lore about this character, it was honestly so cute but she kept moving so that she could turn around to see your reaction.

Eventually, you pulled out a full length body mirror so she could look at you and talk, you were sitting on the ledge of the bathtub and she was in front of you, mindlessly running her hands on your legs while telling you about the significance of why the character decided to dye her hair.

You chuckled and put the bleach cap on her, “Okay, now let’s wait like twenty minutes or so then we’ll wash, ‘lay?”

“Yes maam,” Ellie inspected the bleach, scrunching her nose at the chemically smell.

After twenty minutes had past (Ellie kept checking her phone every two minutes, so it’s not like you would have been able to miss it) she pulled you into the restroom and you helped wash her hair, being careful as to not get any on her face.

Her hair lifted very nicely, given that it was virgin, so after drying it and mixing the dye, you started to slather it on.

Ellie was so excited, walking over to the mirror to inspect your work every time you went to dip your brush back.

When you went to rinse her hair, instead of washing it in the sink again Ellie suggests that she just take a shower, she says she needs one anyway. Before you could agree and leave the bathroom, you turn around to see Ellie taking off her shirt, revealing her sports bra and toned stomach, your face immediately erupts into a blush and you cover it with the spiderman towel as your hands blindly feel for the door.

Ellie chuckles and pulls you into her, “Take a shower with me, baby,” you can feel her breath against your ear, “You’re pretty dirty too,” suddenly you feel her hand on your inner thighs where you had gotten dye.

“Mmkay?” Ellie gently pulls your arms up so she can take off your shirt, then your bra, and help you step out of your shorts, before taking you into the shower with her.

The cold water splashes onto Ellie’s hair, making the water turn red and coat the both of your bodies. Your hands reach into her hair and you lather out the dye while Ellie’s hands rest on your waist, she softly whimpers at how good your hands feel on her scalp.

“I should repay you, hm?” She says as her hands trail from your waist further down, a devilish smirk playing on her face.

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

[a/n] i need to dye my hair again i hate this colour i have rn

[rrcraft-and-lore]

In addition to my Monkey Man post from earlier, the always kind & sweet Aparna Verma (author of The Phoenix King, check it out) asked that I do a thread on Hijras, & more of the history around them, South Asia, mythology (because that's my thing), & the positive inclusion of them in Monkey Man which I brought up in my gushing review.

Hijra: They are the transgender, eunuch, or intersex people in India who are officially recognized as the third sex throughout most countries in the Indian subcontinent. The trans community and history in India goes back a long way as being documented and officially recognized - far back as 12th century under the Delhi Sultanate in government records, and further back in our stories in Hinduism. The word itself is a Hindi word that's been roughly translated into English as "eunuch" commonly but it's not exactly accurate.

Hijras have been considered the third sex back in our ancient stories, and by 2014 got official recognition to identify as the third gender (neither male or female) legally. Pakistan, Nepal, Bangladesh, and India have accepted: eunuch, trans, intersex people & granted them the proper identification options on passports and other government official documents.

But let's get into some of the history surrounding the Hijra community (which for the longest time has been nomadic, and a part of India's long, rich, and sometimes, sadly, troubled history of nomadic tribes/people who have suffered a lot over the ages. Hijras and intersex people are mentioned as far back as in the Kama Sutra, as well as in the early writings of Manu Smriti in the 1st century CE (Common Era), specifically said that a third sex can exist if possessing equal male and female seed.

This concept of balancing male/female energies, seed, and halves is seen in two places in South Asian mythos/culture and connected to the Hijra history.

First, we have Aravan/Iravan (romanized) - who is also the patron deity of the transgender community. He is most commonly seen as a minor/village deity and is depicted in the Indian epic Mahabharata. Aravan is portrayed as having a heroic in the story and his self-sacrifice to the goddess Kali earns him a boon.

He requests to be married before his death. But because he is doomed to die so shortly after marriage, no one wants to marry him.

No one except Krishna, who adopts his female form Mohini (one of the legendary temptresses in mythology I've written about before) and marries him. It is through this union of male, and male presenting as female in the female form of Mohini that the seed of the Hijras is said to begun, and why the transgender community often worships Aravan and, another name for the community is Aravani - of/from Aravan.

But that's not the only place where a gender non conforming divine representation can be seen. Ardhanarishvara is the half female form of lord Shiva, the destroyer god.

Shiva combines with his consort Parvarti and creates a form that represents the balancing/union between male/female energies and physically as a perfectly split down the middle half-male half-female being. This duality in nature has long been part of South Asian culture, spiritual and philosophical beliefs, and it must be noted the sexuality/gender has often been displayed as fluid in South Asian epics and the stories. It's nothing new.

Many celestial or cosmic level beings have expressed this, and defied modern western limiting beliefs on the ideas of these themes/possibilities/forms of existence.

Ardhanarishvara signifies "totality that lies beyond duality", "bi-unity of male and female in God" and "the bisexuality and therefore the non-duality" of the Supreme Being.

Back to the Hijra community.

They have a complex and long history. Throughout time, and as commented on in the movie, Monkey Man, the Hijra community has faced ostracization, but also been incorporated into mainstream society there. During the time of the Dehli Sultanate and then later the Mughal Empire, Hijras actually served in the military and as military commanders in some records, they were also servants for wealthy households, manual laborers, political guardians, and it was seen as wise to put women under the protection of Hijras -- they often specifically served as the bodyguards and overseers of harems. A princess might be appointed a Hijra warrior to guard her.

But by the time of British colonialism, anti-Hijra laws began to come in place folded into laws against the many nomadic tribes of India (also shown in part in Monkey Man with Kid (portrayed by Dev Patel) and his family, who are possibly

one of those nomadic tribes that participated in early theater - sadly by caste often treated horribly and relegated to only the performing arts to make money (this is a guess based on the village play they were performing as no other details were given about his family).

Hijras were criminalized in 1861 by the Indian Penal Code enforced by the British and were labeled specifically as "The Hijra Problem" -- leading to an anti-Hijra campaign across the subcontinent with following laws being enacted: punishing the practices of the Hijra community, and outlawing castration (something many Hijra did to themselves). Though, it should be noted many of the laws were rarely enforced by local Indian officials/officers. But, the British made a point to further the laws against them by later adding the Criminal Tribes Act in 1871, which targeted the Hijra community along with the other nomadic Indian tribes - it subjected them to registration, tracking/monitoring, stripping them of children, and their ability to sequester themselves in their nomadic lifestyle away from the British Colonial Rule.

Today, things have changed and Hijras are being seen once again in a more positive light (though not always and this is something Monkey Man balances by what's happened to the community in a few scenes, and the heroic return/scene with Dev and his warriors). All-hijra communities exist and sort of mirror the western concept of "found families" where they are safe haven/welcoming place trans folks and those identifying as intersex.

These communities also have their own secret language known as Hijra Farsi, which is loosely based on Hindi, but consists of a unique vocabulary of at least 1,000 words.

As noted above, in 2014, the trans community received more legal rights.

Specifically: In April 2014, Justice K. S. Radhakrishnan declared transgender to be the third gender in Indian law in National Legal Services Authority v. Union of India.

Hijras, Eunuchs, apart from binary gender, be treated as "third gender" for the purpose of safeguarding their rights under Part III of our Constitution and the laws made by the Parliament and the State Legislature. Transgender persons' right to decide their self-identified gender is also upheld and the Centre and State Governments are directed to grant legal recognition of their gender identity such as male, female or as third gender.

I've included some screenshots of (some, not all, and certainly not the only/definitive reads) books people can check out about SOME of the history. Not all again. This goes back ages and even our celestial beings/creatures have/do display gender non conforming ways.

There are also films that touch on Hijra history and life. But in regards to Monkey Man, which is what started this thread particularly and being asked to comment - it is a film that positively portrayed India's third sex and normalized it in its depiction. Kid the protagonist encounters a found family of Hijras at one point in the story (no spoilers for plot) and his interactions/acceptance, living with them is just normal. There's no explaining, justifying, anything to/for the audience. It simply is. And, it's a beautiful arc of the story of Kid finding himself in their care/company.