#and get a binder asap
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sleepdeprivedsurgeon · 10 months ago
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being a visibly trans person in childcare might be taking years off my life but tbh having a bunch of 6 year olds use she/her pronouns for me but still call me "mr. jack" and correct each other whenever someone calls me a girl is the closest i'll ever get to having cis people understand my gender
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annavictoriachristine · 5 months ago
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I am tired of my chest
I am tired of my chest
I am tired of my chest
I am tired of my chest
I am tired of my chest
I am tired of my chest
I AM TIRED OF MY CHEST
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prettycottagequeer · 1 year ago
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ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)
SO these I should start on asap:
50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make
100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week
150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)
200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)
these can wait longer:
300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect
500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)
1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks
2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.
Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese
here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)
How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks
I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.
that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.
the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.
On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started
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aceday · 7 months ago
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Agatha Harkness x Reader and Rio Vidal x Reader
summary: you’re but an innocent young actor slightly in over your head filming a movie opposite rio vidal, directed by milf extraordinaire agatha harkness. what could possibly go wrong and what could possibly go right?
warnings: age gap, slight dub/non!con themes, fingering, oral, slight exhibitionist themes, public sex
*afab gender neutral reader
@covenofagatha @d-z20
i guess i straight fucking lied when i said i don’t do this last time bc here we are again whoop de fucking doo
The Director’s Cut
With a satisfying pop, Rio Vidal’s fingers slip out of your mouth. The fingers of her other hand tighten around your throat, wrangling a strangled moan from your lips, and she pushes you back onto the mattress. Your fingertips scratch desperately at her forearm, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as you fight for breath, and Rio’s knee shoves your legs open.
“Got something to say now, hmm?”
You shake your head fervently, a plea in your eyes. Rio releases your throat and you gasp, only for her mouth to be on yours immediately, smothering you, her hands greedily grabbing at your hips, sides, ribs. Her mouth detaches from yours only to find itself immediately at your neck, her hands now attempting to tear your shirt off of you.
“Professor,” you gasp out, voice strained with blissed pain, with velvet panic. With some frantic struggle the shirt is wrenched off of you and the air nips at your skin. The hair on the back of your neck lifts. Rio finally stills for one cold, heavy moment, to stare at you under her, her face contorted in a cool sort of snarl, her eyes sharp.
“You act up, you play by my rules.” Her hand grabs your face, squeezing your jaw painfully. “Understood?”
“I-”
“CUT.”
A scatter of voices and murmurs arise immediately. Rio lets you go and heaves a barely-restrained sigh.
“Cut!” The voice of the director demands again, and both you and your co-star sit up on the mattress. You scratch awkwardly at your throat and look around for your costume shirt somewhere in the sheets.
“It’s wrong, really. Wrong. Fuck.” Agatha Harkness steps onto the set. You squint against the spotlights, feeling your face burn. You and Rio exchange a glance. “The energy, the dynamics. We’re going to have to totally rework this.” She paces furiously. Rio stands from the bed and grabs your shirt, which had apparently been tossed off in the heat of the scene. She hands it to you and you nod gratefully, pulling it back over your head. Agatha has been in an awful mood all day. “We’re going to take twenty. I want everybody to go splash cold water on themselves and get their heads out of their asses.”
You can’t conceal your exhausted sigh as you wriggle awkwardly off the bed. You’re about to go get some water when Agatha snaps her fingers at you, freezing you in your place. With an inward groan and your heart going a million miles a minute, you turn dejectedly to your director.
“Not you. You’re going to meet me in my trailer, asap.” You stare at her for a moment with bald-faced shock, but she’s already turned to her assistant director and is complaining her ear off. You swallow your… so many things, your pride, shame, embarrassment, fury, and stomp off set to the trailer lot.
You don’t bother waiting for Agatha to catch up to throw open the door and walk inside, toeing off your shoes. You’ve never been in her trailer before. It’s not as sterile as you would have imagined; there’s stacks of books and papers and binders and folders and a whole bunch of other boring shit on every flat surface, along with more than a few half-full mugs of what seems to be black coffee.
You slouch doggedly onto her couch, rubbing your eyes. It hasn’t been your best work, you know, but you’re certain you haven’t been bad enough to quite warrant getting chewed out in private. You stare out the small square window. It could be worse, you suppose, she could be chewing you out in public. This is easier to manage, even though you hate the thought of your director being unimpressed with you, but you might as well cut your losses now and move on.
As you sit and stew, the door flies open. Agatha marches in, doused in all black, the sleeves of her button up pushed up to her elbows and her hair tied up into a messy ponytail. She seems to have calmed down a little, a very little amount, well, maybe not at all, actually, maybe she looks angrier than she did before-
The door slams shut and knocks you out of your thoughts. There’s a sizzling silence. A huge knot forms in your throat.
“What was that back there, hmm?”
You don’t know what to say. You cried that take. “I cried that take.” It’s impossible to hide the desperate edge to your voice.
Agatha holds out a finger and your mouth snaps shut. “No excuses,” she hisses, “your face is fine, more than fine, but you act like you’ve never been fucked before.” A huge, violent, and deep blush spreads immediately from your collarbones up. You look away quickly. “You’re simultaneously stiff as a board and loose like a slinky. You wanna look like a slinky out there?”
Agatha has such a way with words. You shake your head. “No, I do not want to look like a slinky out there.”
Agatha doesn’t seem to notice nor care that you’ve spoken. The heat in your face burns brighter as she paces exasperatedly in front of you. Your fingers begin to scratch anxiously at your jeans. “Rio Vidal is a hot young woman. I can’t imagine that she’s not your type. And yet- hours of intimacy coordination later and we’re still at square one.” That’s firstly not true and secondly a bewilderingly unfair thing to say. The rejection stings. Tears well in your eyes and you blink them away furiously, adamant on keeping a tough front for your director. She paces furiously, dizzyingly, back and forth and back and forth. “Seriously, kid. Hours of intimacy coordination and talking and talking and going over the movements step by step. I could do your part in my sleep by now. And maybe I will!” She whirls on you, then pauses. You can’t imagine what you look like right now, your body unnaturally still to keep your leg from bouncing, feeling neon you’re blushing so hard, your jaw clenched, your eyes narrowed and wet.
Agatha has always had a way of being four steps ahead of you, always in the know before there’s even anything to know, so you shouldn’t be surprised when she takes one look at you and suddenly declares, “You’re a virgin,” as if it is the most obvious truth in the world. You look away, trying hard, desperately hard, to maintain your composure. But what can you do? She’s right, for the most part.
Agatha’s eyes narrow when you don’t reply. The manic air about her stills, and you’re suddenly wishing for her fiery temper instead of the cold, calculating dread that suddenly sits heavy between you two. She crosses her arms and continues pacing, but slowly this time, less like she’s being whipped around by her own anger and more like she’s a shark circling something tender and bloody.
“Well,” she says, gesturing lazily in the air, “do you have anything to say for yourself?”
“It’s not a bad thing.” You sound defensive. It’s because you are.
Agatha appears to be lost in thought, “No, no,” she hums. “Nothing bad about a little prude ruining my film, hmm?”
Well. That shuts you up. Your mouth is closed, your eyes are a little wide in disbelief, you’re pretty sure this kind of talk violates some sort of workers rights something, and upon seeing your speechless state, the ghost of a smirk tugs at Agatha’s lips. A shiver runs down your spine.
In stunned silence you flounder, opening and closing your mouth like a fish, while Agatha waits, leveling you with her knowing stare, sizing you up, her eyes tracing up and down your frigid form, for you to say something.
“I’m sorry?”
Are you apologizing or asking “Excuse me?” - you hardly know. Agatha steps in closer to you, your knees almost touching her legs, what is she thinking? Really, what could she possibly be thinking?
“Are you?” Maybe? Agatha sighs and sits next to you on the couch, an arm slung behind you. “How about I propose something for you, for us, hmm?” She turns to look at you, and you’re suddenly caught in the narrowed ice of her eyes as if under a blinding spotlight. She’s always had one of those absolutely shriveling stares that you can’t tear away from. You nod for her to continue, and a smile crawls on her lips. Something brushes your arm and you flinch, only to realize that her fingertips are floating lightly up and down your bicep.
“Tell you what, kid. I’m having a shit day, I’m definitely making it your shit day, and you’re a little prig that needs to loosen up.” She leans in closer to you, far enough away, but you can feel the heat of her breath, can see each delicate flick of her eyes around your face. Her voice drops to a whisper. “Why don’t I fuck you silly here in my trailer, blow a little steam, and teach you what it looks like to feel so, so, impossibly good?”
You blanch. A terrifying expanse of heat sears down your stomach, not out of embarrassment this time. “E-Excuse me?”
“Tell me, kid. What do you think about when you touch yourself?”
“Agatha, I-”
“And don’t pretend like you don’t sneak glances down my shirt every chance you get. I see the way you look at me. The way you’ve been looking at me.”
“No, no, I-”
“Then I’m wrong?”
She’s so close to you now, her mouth hovering just above yours, eyes drifting lazily across your face. The worst part, the worst part about it, is that she’s not wrong, she’s not, you do stare, you do imagine, and even now you can feel sharp tendrils of lust unfurling inside of you, dampening your underwear.
“Come on, kid,” a low whisper, her voice like the trembling string dangling the carrot of her offer in front of your face. “Tell me what you want.”
Breathless: “I…” you shake your head, “I want-” to your infinite surprise, you cut yourself off, pushing your mouth against Agatha’s, your body propelling forward almost as if of its own accord. Agatha hums in delight. She wastes no time.
She climbs on top of you, pushing you back down onto the couch and straddling your hips. Her tongue slides between your lips and, hesitant, your mouth opens, and the kiss grows sloppy, wet, Agatha’s tongue and teeth and lips on and against and in you. You whimper, your hands finding her ribs, your hips bucking involuntarily as her knee slides between your thighs. Your muted breaths melt into a high pitched moan as her knee presses against your cunt.
“I knew it,” Agatha whispers when her mouth breaks from yours, and her head dips down to the soft space between your neck and shoulder. She bites, hard and fast, not enough to leave a mark but enough to send a pained spasm through your body. You tense and dig your fingertips into her sides, and Agatha chuckles.
“Come on, kid,” Agatha says, pushing up on her palms to look down at you. Your lips sting, your chest rising and falling heavily, your breathing audible, not quite gasping, but stuttering. “Pay attention, okay?”
You nod, and Agatha pushes your shirt to your collarbones. She kisses down your naval, down your stomach, her thumbs brushing your nipples and mouth hot beneath your belly button. She looks up at you, eyelashes dark, eyes pale and sharp.
“Are you watching?”
“Yes,” you breathe, and Agatha’s fingers undo your jeans. Your heart clenches at the soft snap of the button being released from its denim hold, a cold sweat at the back of your neck as you hear the zipper being pulled down. Agatha looks slowly up and down, between your eyes and each new inch of skin revealed underneath your clothes.
She tugs your jeans off of you, your underwear going with it, the bits of your costume being shed from your body. Agatha sighs, relieved, the way a dog does curling up in a warm patch of sunlight, and your skin dances at the gust of breath crawling up your body.
“I needed this, kid. Let me tell you.” She leans close to your cunt, you already know you’re dripping, you’ve been dripping, but Agatha doesn’t remark on your pathetic state. Instead she hovers close and inhales deeply. “Fuck,” she whispers, barely audible, and your head falls back, a whimper dislodging from your throat.
Her tensed tongue licks slowly through your folds, the tip circling carefully around your clit, and the shudder you release grips your entire body. Your hands, which had, up until this point, been white knuckling the cushions of the couch, fly to your mouth, and Agatha is suddenly on you, lips and tongue breathing pleasure into you like a gust of wind, like fire from a dragon’s belly, and it’s intense, intense. You’ve been fingered a few lackluster times by lackluster people, but Agatha runs hot, runs feverish, and everything feels scalding, your pleasure, your — Agatha scratches down your sides — your pain, and you want more and more and more.
“Agatha,” you mutter. Your voice sounds like it’s being forcefully pulled from your throat. “Agatha.”
Agatha’s fingers play against your folds, joined with her tongue, and your hands thread through her hair. She lifts her head to look at you, and you can see the glisten of yourself on her chin. Her fingers work you, slowly, in tidal beckoning motions. Your pleasure, vague, dazzling waves, suddenly straightens, taut and defined, and you can feel your orgasm inching into you. Your breath becomes shallow.
“Let’s see,” Agatha murmurs, “how did the coordinator do this? Rio has you pinned, she’s being a little violent, there are tears in your eyes, and when she fucks you, she fucks you rough.” Agatha stuffs three fingers into you, setting a brutally slow and violently deep pace. Your yelp sounds more like a cry and Agatha narrows a cold glare at you. “Shut it, kid, I don’t want to have to do it myself.” You bring a hand to your mouth, stifling each staccato whimper to the tune of Agatha’s thrusts. “And I’m sure you don’t want that either.”
Strung with pain, your skin shivering, your heels digging into the cushions, Agatha’s pace finally relents, slows, and she studies you maliciously. “In the next sex scene, our Professor acquiesces, takes pity on her disobedient but young student,” she pulls your thighs over her shoulders. Her fingers slip out of you, and though your body aches with relief, the wavering string of your pleasure keens for more. Agatha chuckles. “This is my favorite part.” She licks a broad stripe against you. You shiver. “You should see the way Rio looks at you when we film this part. It’s perfect every time.”
Agatha crawls up, your knees still hooked around her shoulders, and you whimper, feeling impossibly small as two of her fingers bury gently into you, stroking gently against your walls, her thumb brushing a light touch against your clit. The beaten, puppeted orgasm you’ve been chasing swells once more against you, rearing, an animal about to pounce.
Agatha kisses you, and you’re ready, your lips parted and waiting for her tongue, which slips eagerly between your teeth. You taste yourself. You think of Rio, stripping you on that damn bed, all hard touches and stinging words and dark, velvet eyes, and Agatha behind the camera, in her all black outfit, blending into the shadows behind the key light like a predator, biting the knuckle of her pointer finger, watching and watching. Fuck. It’s hot. It’s so hot. Agatha’s fingertips curl against what you can only imagine is your g-spot and you gasp against her mouth, earning a quick nip of your bottom lip in response.
“You gonna come for me, kid? It’s about time. Just like you do for Rio right about now, hmm?” Your body teeters slowly, achingly slowly, into an orgasm, its golden edges fizzing like a pot about to boil over. You thrash against Agatha, your hands clawing desperately at her back but your body still trapped in the curled contortion she has you pinned in. “Good, good. Much better, right? You’ll be perfect in front of that camera. Just like that, kid. Perfect.”
The thread snaps. Your orgasm douses you. You throw your head back, the cry in your throat wrangled out of you, unbidden, until Agatha slaps a hand over your mouth. “Don’t ruin your pretty voice, kid,” she purrs wickedly, “Save it for the camera.”
Agatha holds you while you shudder through your orgasm, your vision blurred at the edges, eyes unfocused, and she gently frees your legs from her shoulders, kissing you softly. Your hard panting mellows, evening out steadily. Agatha checks her watch and clucks her tongue.
“You made good time, kid. Are you going to remember this?” You nod, running your fingers through your hair. Agatha rights your jeans and helps straighten your shirt, pressing a kiss to your head as you wriggle into your costume.
“Good, because we’re getting right in it. Be ready to run the scene in ten.” A knot of shock flashes through you. Director Agatha is still director Agatha.
“But don’t I…”
“Don’t you what? Smell like sex? Still sensitive in your cunt and legs? That’s the goal, kid. Now get out of my trailer.” She waves you off. You gulp, cursing silently in your head but undeniably relishing in the hot flush at your cheeks. You stuff your feet into your shoes and let the door swing shut loudly behind you.
The team is in motion, cameras adjusting, the boom guy talking with Rio, who has her arms crossed. She casts her gaze briefly to the side and catches sight of you. She pauses. Her eyes narrow. Your stomach flips, but before you can think of what that look could possibly mean, someone grabs your arm. You whip around and face your makeup designer.
“I’ve been looking all over for you! I-” she cuts herself off. You must look a little like a mess, flushed, wet-eyed. If you had to guess, you probably look like Agatha spent the entire break chewing you out. Chewing, no. Eating, on the other hand…
You chuckle dryly, and your designer takes a step back. “Nevermind,” she says, waving a hand dismissively. “You look perfect. Break a leg.”
“Alright everybody. Places.” Agatha’s voice cuts like a knife over the noisy bustle. There’s immediate quiet as everyone hustles to their designated spots. “We’re starting from ‘Got something to say now’.”
You situate yourself on the bed. Rio climbs on top of you. A shudder runs unprompted down your spine. With horror, you realize that you are still sensitive. Violently sensitive. Above you, Rio’s eyes narrow. She inhales deeply. You think she’s sighing, but a treacherous thought flickers through your mind that maybe she smells you, smells Agatha, smells you on Agatha on you. Rio’s eyes trace down your body, seeming to clock every unfortunate and incriminating detail. Your messed up hair, your hot skin, your shaking legs.
You’re not sure if it’s to your relief or distress, but Rio chuckles lowly. “Extra lesson, hmm?”
You swallow. “S-Sorry?”
She leans down close to your ear. Her hands wrap slowly around your wrists, pressing them above your head. This wasn’t in the intimacy coordination. “That’s fine. If you’re going to get a little extra help, maybe we can have a little fun, right?”
A knot forms in your throat. Your ears feel hot. “I think-”
Agatha’s voice, booming, as if from heaven. “Scene 30. Take 7. And… action!”
Rio grabs quickly at your throat. You feel dazed, but vaguely remember your blocking and shakily hold onto her forearm. Rio flashes you a toothy smile, a creepy, toothy smile that hollows out your chest. “Got something to say now, hmm?”
You shake your head quickly, and to your surprise, instead of releasing your throat, Rio shoves a knee between your legs, knocking against your clit. You gasp out your next line, “Professor-” and Rio’s fingertips dig harder into the sides of your throat. Her other hand finds your wrist, slamming it above your head, her grip tight. “Professor,” you choke out again, finding Rio’s gaze, the wild, manic look in her eyes shooting guilty sparks of pleasure down your spine. “Please,” you beg, off-script, and this time, Rio relents.
She releases your neck. Your hand flies up to it, your breath scraping down your throat, heavy, but Rio catches your other wrist and shoves it down with the other. “You act up,” she hisses, “you play by my rules.” She gathers both wrists with one hand and strokes a manicured nail down your jaw. You strain your face away, breath light and fluttering.
“Understood?”
At the word, she grabs your jaw sharply, forcing you to meet her eyes. There’s something of a challenge in her gaze. You’d probably break if you weren’t so fucking turned on, but your own arousal dampens your underwear. You feel hot everywhere.
“I understand, Professor,” you whisper. A well timed tear traces from the corner of your eye down your temple. “Please, don’t go too hard.” You blink pathetically up at her. “I didn’t mean to.”
The double meaning is more than received. Rio laughs loudly. “Didn’t mean to? Yeah right.” Her knee pushes up into your hot cunt and you whimper loudly, your eyes rolling back. The hand squeezing your jaw drops down between your legs. You whine and buck your hips. Rio scoffs, shaking her head. It’s miserably clear to her that you’re not acting anymore.
“Pathetic,” she sneers. Her hand quickly unbuttons your jeans and sinks beneath your waistband. Usually, she doesn’t come close to touching you. The jeans are low-rise and loose, but this time, Rio has no qualms about pressing her fingertips against your underwear, no doubt feeling the hot, soaked cloth. She groans and curses.
“Professor,” you gasp, choked. Your tears flow freely now. Her fingertips dig blindly against your cunt, feeling through the fabric your folds, your clit, warm and sensitive. You feel raw from the orgasm you just had, so violently raw, and even the lightest touch sends a dark pleasure scattering through you. You jerk uncontrollably, writhing beneath Rio, feeling an orgasm, a fucking orgasm, climbing panicked below your stomach.
Rio’s mouth crashes down onto yours, as if trying, and failing, to mute each desperate noise that crawls from your throat. The result is you moaning wildly into the kiss, choking around her tongue, her fingers kneading into the cloth and sending you sputtering into a lingering orgasm that you’re not sure ever fully evaporated - a fact Rio seems to be well aware of.
Your body tenses and you careen through the waves of pleasure splashing in you, swallowing you whole. Rio pulls her mouth off of yours to watch the bliss bloom across your face and the cry that erupts from your throat is somehow both a whimper and a howl.
“Much better,” Rio whispers, pulling her hand from your jeans, kissing down your neck and stroking your cheek with her thumb. You can smell yourself on her fingers. You lay there dumbly, shivering through the dregs of your orgasm, sighing into an exhaustion you’ve never known. “That was good, that was really good,” Rio hums, pleased.
When your eyes meet, there’s a bit of tentativeness. This got out of hand. The smile you give her is, you hope, both wayward and reassuring.
“Did I-” you’ve started your line while still out of breath, and interrupt yourself to take a deep breath, “Did I do okay, Professor?” A phrase carrying a triple meaning, at this point. You’d give anything to look at Agatha right now, but manage to stay in character, keep your gaze trained on Rio’s glazed eyes.
“You were amazing,” she whispers, kissing you softly.
“Cut!”
Both Rio and you jolt in surprise. She peels off of you, lightly intertwining your fingers with hers, and you sit up, looking towards Agatha. You only see the camera, and in the darkness, her dark form slides from behind it. Her outline becomes slowly visible as she takes a few steps closer towards you two, though shadows still cut across her. You can see a smile stretch across her face.
“Now that,” she says. “Was perfect.” Agatha turns to face the crew. “On that note, that’s a wrap for today. Everybody go take a cold shower.” Agatha then steps fully into the light. The look on her face is indescribably malicious, a smile that could be angry or just evil, pale eyes glinting. You exchange a glance with Rio and notice a soft heat on her cheeks. “You two, meet me in my trailer first.” Agatha’s eyes narrow. “I want to discuss some notes with you.”
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meiyokbf · 1 month ago
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headcannon | megan x transmasc!reader
author’s note: so so so excited to finally be writing for the katz! lemme know what you guys think of this, and please excuse my poor grammar, lol.
warnings: pre transition!reader at the beginning, transmasc!reader, obvi. it kinda goes for both non-binary readers and transmen, too. hrt therapy & top surgery mentioned. nsfw at the end, MDNI.
🏷️: katseye x reader, megan x reader, katseye smut, katseye, megan skiendiel, transmasc reader.
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megan had absolutely NO CLUE that you were having these kinds of thoughts about your gender identity.
which is why she got a little bit surprised when you came out to her as transmasc.
poor girl couldn’t get the clues. 😭
but needless to say she was the most supportive girlfriend ever since the very first day.
“look at me, my love…” she held your hands while you looked at her, a couple of tears streaming down your face as you let yourself feel vulnerable in front of her. “tell me your name, hm?”
“(y/n)…” she smiled like a child when she heard it for the first time, kissing your cheek right on top of one of the tears.
“your name is so beautiful, baby.”
you KNOW that she would act like the proudest girlfriend ever.
even though she knew little to nothing about transitioning.
but even though she struggled to understand a few things at first, she never deadnamed you; or used the incorrect pronouns with you.
and god helped the poor soul who did it in front of her.
megan driving you to your first hrt consult!!!!
and of course, getting a speed ticket because of how fast she wanted to get there.
megan writing the day down so she can remember the first day you got your very first t-shot.
and girlie would 100% make you do the “hi my name is (y/n) and i’m one day on testosterone” trend.
megan would absolutely be thrilled when you told her you wanted to tell the katz.
pookie would have to hold her tongue because she was so excited about it that she wanted to share with her sisters asap!!!
and obviously she held your hand tight when you told the girls, even though you knew it’d be alright.
“guys i have a BOYFRIEND NOW!!”
she LOVES LOVES LOVES calling you “my boy” by the way.
unironically changed your contract to “my favorite guy in the world.”
was THRILLED when the T changes started to show.
and pookie would be like “baby look at your BEARD.”
would definitely learn how to help you when you were feeling extra dysphoric.
and would put an alarm on her phone every time you wore a binder to remind both of you that you shouldn’t wear it for more than 6 hours.
obviously would take you to the courthouse to finally kill off your dead name.
and i just KNOW girlie would throw a death-themed party afterwards with a tombstone cake.
megan would take you (and all of the katz) to the trans pride parade in los angeles.
she wouldn’t care if fans noticed her and asked her for pictures, she just wanted to be with you.
and she wanted you to know that she loved you no matter what.
pookie would remind you every day that she was proud of you for doing this. 🥺
megan would leave post-its (exclusively with the colors of your flag) on your kitchen before going to practice.
“don’t forget to eat lunch today, sweet boy!”
“have a nice day, my prince!”
but every now and then she would write the most awful jokes.
“do you speak english or do i need to TRANS-late?”
getting so so so so excited when you finally got cleared for top surgery!!!
almost DEMANDING hybe to give her some weeks off so she could take care of you 24/7.
which, obviously, she did.
girlie wouldn’t let you do ANYTHING when you were post-op.
“megan you don’t have to come to the bathroom with me…”
“but what if you need help to take a shit”
once you got the bandages and the drains off, and you finally got to see your new chest, megan cried more than you did.
and she obviously took 300 pictures so she could look at your chest whenever she wanted.
once you got comfortable with it, she showed them to the katz too.
“it must suck that i have the hottest boyfriend ever and you guys don’t.”
overall she would be the sweetest person in the world ugh.
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now here’s where it gets funny.
megan was SO scared to have sex with you at first.
not because she didn’t know what to do, because she surely did.
but she was terrified of crossing a boundary with you or doing something that triggered your dysphoria.
so you guys had a long, long conversation about this before she could actually relax and feel a little less anxious about fucking you.
babes, let’s face it. that girl is a bottom.
even when she tops, she subs.
she just wants to make you feel good all of the time.
megan would absolutely take advantage of the fact that you had significant bottom growth.
and girlie would put her legs on your lap while you were talking to the katz or doing something that required your attention, just so she could rub her legs on your dick as hard as she could.
would absolutely make you buy the biggest packer available too.
“you know how well i can take you, baby.”
is a sucker for missionary.
it’s when she can feel you the most.
and pookie LOVES dirty talking, too.
with a tiny bit of a daddy kink.
“fuck, daddy… your dick is filling me up so nice, ugh…”
and obviously *cough cough* breeding kink *cough*.
everything that was slightly gender-affirming to you turned the shit out of her.
she wanted you to know that right now, she needed her man to fuck the life out of her.
and also. blowjobs. all. the. time.
she would DIE whenever you came in her mouth.
the feeling of having your t-dick pulsing between her lips made her feel insane.
and every time you’d put her hair up in a ponytail she would melt.
obviously would top you the only way she knows how.
would have her way with you while looking the puppiest she’s ever looked.
“is this good enough, my boy?” “am i being good?”
she wants you to know you’re in charge here.
and she just wants to be good for you.
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palepersonacoffee · 10 months ago
Note
💜for the ask game?
💜 What is your favourite fantasy involving detrans/misgen?
My doctor decides I'd be be better off as a girl. Of course, if I knew that that's what they thought, I would switch doctors, so they don't tell me. Instead, they trick me into detransitioning- They tell me that my T levels are abnormally high, so I need to take a lower dose to get me back on track. After all, extra testosterone in the body turns into estradiol or something right? We don't want that. So they halve my dose indefinitely, and send me to a therapist that's in on the game. I think the therapist is kind of weird, but I don't want my mental health to take a turn because I'm sad about my lower dose.
The next appointment I go in to see the doctor, they tell me to take my shirt off. I ask why, and they gaslight me into thinking it's so they can check my health somehow- but they don't do it right away. I sit there on the table covering my chest up while they talk about the new drugs they're prescribing me. I don't think about anything but how humiliated I am- Whats Flibanserin? What's domperidone? What's Metoclopramide? What's topamax and why is the dose on that so high? I don't know and I'm not paying attention. I'm just desperately wishing I could put my shirt back on. When theyre finished listing off all the new medications I need to take, the brush my hands put of the way where I was covering up like it's the most normal thing in the world. They start squeezing my tits, massaging them, pinching and pulling and jiggling. I'm squeezing my eyes shut wishing it was over.
My next appointment, I'm really confused for some reason. Dizzy and stupid and dim. The therapist has been having me undress to talk about my trauma because somehow that's going to help me, so it's not weird that the doctor is having me undress now. They finger my sloppy cunt while they tell me that I need to stop taking testosterone entirely, it's very dangerous for me. I try to ask why but I'm so out of it, they just brush right over me. They put me on estrogen and I don't even notice. They tell me that to keep myself healthy, I need to start pumping my breasts. There's yucky stuff in there and I need to get it all out every night before I can start taking T again. They up my dose on everything. They tell me I can go ahead and leave my boxers and jeans and binder with them, I don't need them, they need to make sure I'm not using them to hurt myself. Oh, here's the breast pump I need btw. Start immediately.
My next appointment, I'm basically brainless. The therapist had to drop me off. Why was the therapist driving me around places again? What happened to all my boy clothes? Why are my tits so big? I can't remember. I don't have the brainpower to think about it for very long. The doctor doesn't even bother talking to me other than to tell me to strip. They press something big into my wet vagina, so big it's uncomfortable and I can't close my legs around it. Somehow, maybe using a medical glue, they make sure it stays inside me. Then they start fingerings my ass open, and do the same there. They tell me it's unsafe for me to be alone, but luckily there's a clinic near here that can help me. I need to be admitted ASAP. I look ridiculous when they finally let me stand up from where I was bent over the examination table, I can't even walk right. I waddle around, crab walking because I can't close my legs around the things inside me. They don't say anything when they pry my mouth open to stuff something inside there, either- I don't realize it, but it's my old boxers. They expect me to just stupidly take it without any explanation, and I do. They tell me to step into the closet over there and they shut the door behind me, locking me in until the end of their shift. I can hear them starting the same thing with another confused girl, but I cant make any noise to warn them. I wouldn't know what was even happening anyways. I can barely articulate my own name. When their shift is finally over, they take me to the clinic- It's just their house.
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unsuperingyournatural · 3 months ago
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this is home
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Jensen Ackles x Actress!Reader / Pedro Pascal x Actress!Reader <platonic>
not saying anything about anyone. this idea materialized and went with it.
dividers by @saradika-graphics
Jensen had barely stepped into the terminal before the chaos began.
Flashes. Voices. Pens. Phones.
“Jensen! Over here!”
“Jensen! Just one shot, man!”
“Can you sign this, Jensen?”
He gave his trademark half-grin, the one that made crowds light up, and started signing with an ease that only came from years of practice. Photos, posters, a few weird objects. He didn't ask questions. Just kept it moving, just like always.
TMZ was in the mix, too, and so were a few of those guys with binders full of photos they’d resell online. Jensen didn’t love it, but he handled them the same way he handled everything else in public — smooth and unbothered. Or at least, looking that way.
“Where’s Y/N today?” someone called.
He didn’t look up, just said, “She’s across the country shooting right now.”
“Oh, that’s with Pedro Pascal, right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jensen chuckled as he handed back a marker. “Lucky bastard gets to hang with her all day.”
Laughter rippled around him. He leaned into the joke, let it deflect any of the sting. He was cool with Pedro. Friendly, even. It wasn’t weird.
Mostly.
Then someone from the crowd — guy with a beard, phone out — pushed closer.
“Hey Jensen, you seen the new photos from set?”
Still signing, Jensen blinked. “What photos?”
The guy turned his phone around.
Three photos.
The first: you and Pedro laughing with the director, looking like a couple of kids in the best kind of trouble.
The second: Pedro saying something that had you smiling so wide Jensen could practically hear the laugh that went with it.
The third one hit a little lower. You, tucked under Pedro’s arm, head resting comfortably on his shoulder, the two of you watching something off-screen like you’d done it a hundred times before. Like it was natural. Like it belonged.
Jensen’s jaw ticked.
Barely.
He gave the phone back.
The guy raised an eyebrow. “What’s up with that, man?”
“Uh, nothing, man.” Jensen shrugged, light as air. “That’s common on set when two lead actors are playing each other’s love interest and they’re close friends like they are.”
Another signature. Another fake smile.
“You just have fun with it all and enjoy the ride. I know how much she likes working with the guy and how much fun she’s having on set. And that’s important, you know? Because other than the director, they’re the leaders on set — they set the tone for the rest of the cast and crew.”
He was answering without thinking now, defaulting to PR mode as the weight of the third photo stuck with him. How natural it looked. How comfortable you were in Pedro’s arms. How Jensen had never seen that particular smile when you were with him.
He wrapped things up quickly after that, making excuses about catching his flight, shaking hands, thanking the fans. Cool. Calm. Collected.
He stayed that way all the way to the gate.
All the way to his seat in first class.
All the way until the plane door sealed shut and he finally exhaled, jaw unclenching as he pulled out his phone.
He typed, erased, typed again.
Finally, he sent the message:
Need you to call me ASAP. Saw the new set pics.
He stared out the window.
Trying — and failing — not to replay the way your head rested on Pedro’s shoulder like it had every right to be there.
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You were sitting in your trailer with your makeup half-done and your feet kicked up on the little sofa when your phone buzzed.
Jensen 💚: Need you to call me ASAP. Saw the new set pics.
Your stomach dropped.
You stared at the message for a second too long, rereading it like the words might change if you blinked hard enough.
You pulled up Instagram. Nothing on your feed yet. No tags. Then you checked Twitter — and there it was. A trending post. Your name. Pedro's. Someone had zoomed in on a few candid shots from set.
First one: You and Pedro laughing your asses off as the director waved her hands around. You remembered that moment — she’d made a joke about Pedro's "hero stance" being too dramatic, and Pedro had played it up even more. You’d doubled over laughing.
Second one: Pedro standing in front of you, making faces while the hair stylist adjusted your wig. You were grinning, wide and unfiltered.
Third one: …oh.
Oh.
You were leaning into him. Your head on his shoulder, his arms loose around you, like it was the most normal thing in the world. You looked calm. At peace. Comfortable. Too comfortable.
You swallowed hard.
Because yeah, it was normal on set. You’d spent weeks rehearsing together, shooting long days, figuring out the chemistry of your characters. You and Pedro got along — scarily well. He made you laugh when you needed it, offered you his coat between takes, always remembered to bring your favorite snack from the craft table.
But that photo. It didn’t look like friends. Not in the context of a trending topic. Not in the context of—
You clicked back to your messages.
No follow-up text.
You dialed him immediately, chewing at your thumbnail as it rang.
Once. Twice. Voicemail.
You hung up and called again.
No answer.
You hated this feeling — this wedge that had dropped between you from one image, one that wasn’t even about anything. But to him… it probably looked like something else. Something intimate.
Your trailer door creaked open and Pedro popped his head in. “Hey, we’re being called back in like, five—”
You must’ve looked pale or something, because he stopped short. “You okay?”
You nodded too quickly. “Yeah. Just… give me a minute?”
He hesitated. “Alright.” He lingered. “If this is about the photo stuff—”
You looked up sharply.
Pedro sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “Someone showed me on set. I didn’t think it’d blow up like this. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” you said quietly.
He gave you a small smile. “If he saw that third one, I get it. He’s probably just—y’know. Human.”
You nodded. “Yeah. He is.”
Pedro gave you one last look before closing the door behind him.
You stared at your phone again. The silence from Jensen felt louder than anything else.
You hated that one still frame — one unintentional, unguarded moment — could undo so much. Or make someone you love doubt what’s real.
You tried calling again.
Voicemail.
This time, you left one.
“Hey, babe. I just saw the photos. I know how that last one must’ve looked, and I’m sorry if it hurt you. It wasn’t anything, I swear. Pedro and I were waiting to shoot a scene, and I was freezing — I didn’t even realize someone took a picture. I should’ve texted you more from set, I know things have been hectic. But please don’t think for one second that you have anything to worry about. Okay? You’re it for me.”
You hesitated before hanging up.
Then, softer: “I miss you.”
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Jensen had just leveled out in the air when he finally put his headphones in.
He didn’t open a movie. Didn’t scroll through music.
He played your voicemail.
It was quiet at first — your voice hushed, gentle. He closed his eyes.
“Hey, babe. I just saw the photos. I know how that last one must’ve looked, and I’m sorry if it hurt you…”
His jaw clenched. It didn’t hurt. I’m fine, he told himself, which was the first lie of the day.
It had hurt. Not in a full-on betrayal way — he trusted you. Of course he did. But that photo had snagged something in his chest and refused to let go. The way you looked with Pedro... relaxed, safe, like he was your home.
It was his shoulder you were supposed to lean on like that. Not someone else's.
“Pedro and I were waiting to shoot a scene, and I was freezing — I didn’t even realize someone took a picture…”
He knew. He knew. He’d been in this industry long enough to recognize what was real and what was camera bait. But still — your head on Pedro’s shoulder, his arms around you — it was too real-looking. It felt like something private, even if it wasn’t.
“I should’ve texted you more from set…”
Yeah, maybe. But he hadn’t exactly been blowing up your phone either. You’d both been busy, missing each other in that quiet, painful way people do when life gets loud.
“Please don’t think for one second that you have anything to worry about. Okay? You’re it for me.”
His throat tightened.
God, he missed you. Missed your laugh, your late-night ramblings, the way your hand always found his knee when you were curled up next to him. Missed your presence, like something about the world clicked into place when you were near.
“I miss you.”
He pulled out one earbud, let the quiet hum of the plane fill the silence. His eyes stayed on the seat in front of him, unfocused. He didn’t replay the message again — didn’t need to. Your voice was already echoing in his head.
He tapped out a reply before he could overthink it:
I miss you too. Let’s talk when I land, okay? We’ll talk.
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He picked up the call on the first ring.
“Hey,” your voice came through, soft but steady.
“Hey,” he said back, eyes shut as he leaned against the seat. His voice was lower than usual, gravelly from holding too much in.
“I didn't want to wait.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.”
A pause.
“You okay?” you asked.
He let out a quiet breath, one hand scrubbing down his face. “Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t. But I’m better now.”
“That photo—”
“I know,” he cut in gently. “I know it’s nothing. I know how sets work. Hell, I’ve probably looked that cozy with co-stars more times than I can count.”
“Still… I hate that you saw it that way.”
“I didn’t want to,” he admitted, voice raw around the edges. “Didn’t want to feel that flash of… I don’t even know what it was. Just hit me out of nowhere.”
“It was cold. Pedro offered his jacket. I leaned. That was it.”
Jensen gave a humorless huff. “Pedro’s a good guy. I know that. I like him.”
“I know you do.”
“But seeing you in his arms like that—” he stopped, forcing his words to even out. “It looked like I’d been replaced.”
“You haven’t been,” you said, firm now. “Not even close.”
He stayed quiet, letting the weight of that truth settle between you.
“I’m sorry I didn’t check in more,” you continued. “We’ve both been running non-stop. And I know how much that messes with things.”
“I should’ve called too,” he said. “Should’ve made time. We’re both guilty.”
“You didn’t ask for pictures like that to be taken.”
“You didn’t ask to go viral for existing on a film set.”
That made you laugh — just a little — and he felt something in his chest loosen.
“I meant what I said in the voicemail,” you added. “You’re it for me, Jensen. Okay? Even when it’s cold. Even when I’m tired. Even when I’m a thousand miles away.”
He swallowed the lump forming in his throat.
“I needed to hear that,” he said quietly. “Because when I saw that photo… I didn’t feel like ‘it.’ I felt like the guy who got left behind.”
“You didn’t. You won’t be.”
He leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees, voice almost a whisper now. “Can we be better about this? You and me. Even when it’s crazy. Even when the press starts making shit up. Just… keep each other close?”
“I want that,” you said instantly. “I want us solid, no matter where we are.”
“Okay,” he said. Then softer: “Then we’ll do it.”
Another pause. A gentler one this time.
“Are you headed to the hotel?” you asked.
“Yeah. I’ll call you when I get there. Maybe FaceTime. I wanna see your face.”
“You’re not gonna make me show you I’m not cuddled up to Pedro again, are you?” you teased lightly.
He chuckled, finally — a real one. “Nah. But I’ll make you prove you still smile bigger when you see me.”
“You better believe I do.”
He leaned back in his seat again, a quiet smile on his lips as the overhead chime announced arrival.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too,” you answered.
This time, it didn’t just feel like words.
It felt like coming home.
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The hotel room was dim, lit mostly by the warm amber glow of the bedside lamp. Jensen tossed his duffel on the floor, kicked off his boots, and let out a groan as he flopped back onto the mattress.
He didn’t even bother with the TV. All he wanted to do was see your face.
He hit FaceTime, thumb hovering for just a second before he pressed “Call.”
It rang once. Twice.
Then you answered.
“Hi,” you said, appearing on his screen, wrapped in a hoodie — his hoodie, he realized — hair pulled back, eyes tired but warm.
He exhaled, a sound like something uncoiling inside him.
“There you are,” he murmured.
You smiled. A real one this time. “Here I am.”
He angled the phone so you could see him too, stretched out on the bed, shirt wrinkled from travel, hair a little messy from the flight.
“You look good,” you said quietly.
He huffed a small laugh. “I look like I just went twelve rounds with airport security.”
“Still,” you said. “You look like home.”
That did something to him. His chest ached in that gentle way it always did when you cut straight through his walls without even trying.
“I hated that we fought without actually fighting,” you said, voice softer now.
“We didn’t fight,” he replied. “We… stumbled.”
You nodded. “Well. Let’s not do that again.”
“Agreed.”
You were quiet for a moment, studying him through the screen like you were trying to memorize every detail. He could see the exhaustion in your eyes — long day, long week, maybe just missing him more than you’d let yourself admit until now.
“Hey,” he said gently. “You okay?”
“I am now.”
He swallowed. “I know that photo caught me off guard. But I trust you. Even when it stings. Even when I hate sharing you with the world.”
“You’re not sharing me,” you said. “Not really. The world gets pieces. You get all of me.”
His throat tightened. “That better not just be the sleep talking.”
“It’s not,” you whispered.
You just watched each other for a moment — no talking, no pressure. Just two people staring through a screen and wishing it were a window.
“You wanna stay on the call while you crash?” he asked eventually. “I’ll just leave you propped up. We don’t have to talk.”
You blinked. “Like fall asleep on FaceTime?”
“Yeah. Old school teen romance style.”
You smiled, curling deeper under your blanket. “That sounds perfect.”
He angled his phone against a pillow so you had a good view — just his face and that soft, sleepy look in his eyes. You did the same.
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he said quietly.
“Goodnight, baby.”
He didn’t care how cheesy it was. Didn’t care about time zones or bad lighting or how far away you were.
Right now, he could see your face.
And for the first time in days, Jensen felt like everything might just be okay.
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The soundstage was quiet for a rare moment — reset lights buzzing, crew shuffling softly, the buzz of production dulled under the weight of fatigue and late-afternoon haze. You stood near video village, holding a paper cup of now-cold coffee, eyes skimming the script pages you already knew by heart.
But your mind was somewhere else.
Back in that hotel room with Jensen’s face on your phone. Back in his voice, low and tired, but honest. Back in the look in his eyes when you told him, You’re not sharing me. The world gets pieces. You get all of me.
You knew what that had meant to him — how much it had taken for him to believe it. And still… how hard he was working to keep believing it.
Because Jensen had been burned. One too many times.
People didn’t always love him. They loved the version of him that opened doors. The famous name. The charming face. The connections. The spotlight. The screaming fans. His impeccable good looks.
But when the lights dimmed? When the camera stopped? That’s when the cracks formed. That’s when the sniping started. The cold shoulders. The slow unraveling of something that had never been sewn with kindness in the first place.
He’d told you about it one night, half a bottle of whiskey deep, voice rough and eyes downcast. How he stayed too long. How he kept trying to fix things, even when the only thing breaking was himself.
She made him feel small. Over time, piece by piece. Until he forgot what it was like to be seen with softness.
He didn’t realize it at the time — how much damage that kind of love could do. How deeply it could root itself in the way he saw the world.
He still caught himself, sometimes. When you fought — which wasn’t often — he’d sometimes shoot too fast. A sharp word. A subtle jab. His shoulders would go rigid like he was bracing for a war that wasn’t coming.
And you’d told him. Calm, clear, unmoving.
I love you, but I won’t let you treat me like that. That’s not love. That’s defense. And if you want to be in this with me, then that pattern ends now.
He’d listened. He’d heard you.
And he was trying. You saw it every time he paused to rethink his words. Every time he caught himself and took a breath instead of a verbal swing. Every time he looked at you like he was scared — not of you, but of losing you — and chose to trust instead.
You knew he was trying to be the kind of man who didn’t carry the weight of his past into the room with him.
You knew that meant more than any trending photo or paparazzi buzz ever could.
“Hey,” a familiar voice said gently.
You blinked out of your thoughts to see Pedro beside you, his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets, expression warm and easy.
“Hey,” you replied, offering a small smile.
He gave you a look. That subtle, careful kind — the kind only good friends know how to give.
“Everything good?” he asked, keeping his voice low. “After… y’know. All the TMZ drama?”
You let out a breath. “Yeah. We talked. He’s good. We’re good.”
Pedro nodded once. “I figured. He seemed like the type to pull it together once he had the facts.”
You glanced at him. “He’s trying. It’s not always easy for him.”
Pedro gave a soft, understanding smile. “No, I get that. People don’t always realize how much shit someone’s carrying until it spills out all over the place.”
You nodded slowly. “He’s been through a lot. Stuff he doesn’t always talk about. And when he does, it’s… heavy.”
Pedro leaned against the edge of the cart beside you, casual but attentive. “He’s lucky to have you.”
You tilted your head. “You think so?”
“I know so,” he said, with a small grin. “Because you love him in a way that makes him want to be better. I see it in the way you talk about him — and in the way you look over your shoulder every time your phone buzzes.”
You laughed under your breath, cheeks warming.
Pedro bumped your shoulder lightly. “He’s not the only lucky one, though. You’ve got someone who’s trying to unlearn the shit that broke him. That’s not nothing.”
You swallowed. “Yeah. It’s not.”
He nodded once more, then added, “And hey — for what it’s worth, if he ever forgets what he’s got in you… I’m right here with a very long speech about how dumb he’d be to mess it up.”
You grinned. “Thanks, Pascal. I’ll keep you on standby.”
“Always,” he said with a wink.
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You didn’t hear the knock so much as feel it — a jolt of electricity straight through your chest.
You crossed the hotel room in three seconds flat, yanking open the door like something in you had been waiting for this moment all week.
And there he was.
Jensen.
Ball cap, hoodie, boots. Tired eyes and soft smile. You didn’t even say hello — just grabbed the front of his sweatshirt and pulled him in.
He dropped his bag somewhere behind him as the door closed, his hands already finding your waist, your back, your face. His touch was everywhere at once — not desperate, just sure.
You kissed him like you hadn’t seen him in years. Like this was the only language you remembered.
He kissed you back just the same.
When you finally pulled apart, breathless and slightly dizzy, Jensen rested his forehead against yours, voice low and rough.
“God, I missed you.”
You nodded, eyes still closed. “You feel like home.”
He huffed a soft laugh. “I feel like hell. That flight was brutal.”
“You still smell like your cologne,” you whispered, pressing your nose to his collar. “And a little like airplane.”
“You always this affectionate with guys who smell like recycled air?”
“Only the ones I love.”
He smiled into your hair, arms tightening around you. “That’s good. ‘Cause I was planning on staying.”
You tilted your head back to look at him. “For the night or for the week?”
He met your gaze. “As long as you’ll let me.”
The answer settled into your chest like sunlight.
You led him toward the bed, fingers laced with his, neither of you needing words to know what this meant. It wasn’t about sex. It was about presence. About closeness. About curling into each other like the answer to a question that’s lingered too long.
Later, after the clothes had been shed and the lights dimmed and the room had gone quiet except for the slow, even rhythm of breath, he pressed a kiss to your shoulder.
“I hate being apart from you,” he murmured.
You turned slightly, meeting his eyes in the dark. “Me too.”
“I don’t care where you are, what time it is — I just want you close.”
“You’ve got me,” you whispered, tracing your fingers along his jaw. “You always do.”
And when he kissed you again, it wasn’t just to prove a point. It was a promise.
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The sun was starting to dip behind the soundstage, casting long shadows over the parking lot where the crew trucks sat humming, their sides splattered with dust and sunlight.
Pedro was leaning against one of them, sipping a bottle of water, still in costume — the desert wind teasing the edges of his scarf. He looked calm, unbothered. But his eyes tracked everything. They always did.
Jensen saw him before he said a word.
“Hey,” he called, jogging up the last few steps from the studio lot.
Pedro lifted his brows, amused. “Well look who actually exists in daylight.”
Jensen smirked. “Thought I’d swing by before you wrap up. Figured I owed you a face-to-face.”
Pedro nodded, uncapping his water again. “For what? You’re not about to punch me over a publicity still, are you?”
Jensen chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Nah. We got past all that. She and I talked. It’s good now.”
Pedro gave him a look — not skeptical, just curious. “You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
There was a beat. One of those heavy, unspoken pauses that says we’re about to get real, aren’t we?
Jensen crossed his arms and leaned against the truck beside Pedro, letting the silence settle before breaking it.
“I know you and she got close,” he said, not accusing — just honest. “I know how this kind of set brings people together. Long hours. Long scenes. Shared trailers and inside jokes.”
Pedro stayed quiet. Letting him talk.
“And I know,” Jensen continued, voice quieter now, “that you’ve never given me a reason not to trust you.”
Pedro tilted his head. “But?”
“No ‘but.’” Jensen looked at him. “Just wanted you to know I appreciate that. That line you never crossed? It means something.”
Pedro nodded once. “She made it easy. She never gave me a reason to question it either.”
“I know.”
Another quiet beat.
Then Pedro glanced over at him, tone lighter but sincere. “She’s good at making people feel like they matter. It’s… kinda her superpower.”
Jensen exhaled a small laugh. “Yeah. Tell me about it.”
Pedro took another sip, then added, “You’re good for her, too. I see it. She’s been lighter since you got here. Softer.”
“She softens me too,” Jensen admitted.
They stood like that for a moment — two men connected by proximity, friendship, and the same fierce care for one extraordinary woman.
Pedro gave a small smile. “No offense, but I’m glad it’s you.”
Jensen raised a brow. “Yeah?”
“I’ve seen her look at you,” Pedro said. “You’re her safe place. That’s rare. Don’t fuck it up.”
Jensen laughed, low and dry. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, man.”
Pedro shrugged with a grin. “Anytime.”
Jensen reached out, clapped his shoulder. “You ever need a beer and someone to complain to about LA traffic, I’m your guy.”
“Deal,” Pedro said, and the smile he gave was real.
They didn’t hug — neither of them were quite built for that level of mutual sentimentality — but something settled between them all the same. A kind of unspoken pact.
The woman they both cared about was safe. Loved. Understood.
And that was enough.
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The car was warm and still.
Just highway lights flickering past, casting gold across the dash, the soft hum of tires on asphalt, and Jensen’s hand resting against your thigh — thumb brushing back and forth like it was muscle memory now.
You leaned your head against the window, eyes half-lidded from exhaustion, your body finally starting to unclench from the weeks of long shoots, late nights, and emotional tightropes. There wasn’t much left to say.
And you didn’t need there to be.
Jensen glanced over at you, his hat tipped back, the corner of his mouth tugging upward in that soft, private smile he only ever gave you when he thought no one else was looking.
“You falling asleep on me?”
“Mm. Just resting my eyes.”
He squeezed your thigh gently, his hand warm and grounding. “You’ve earned it.”
You smiled, tilting your head toward him. “So have you.”
He gave a low hum of agreement but kept his eyes on the road. “You good? Really?”
“I’m good,” you said, voice quiet. “Feels like everything’s settled. For now.”
Jensen nodded once. “I like ‘for now.’ ‘For now’ got me here with you.”
You reached over, letting your fingers thread with his. “You were always gonna end up here with me.”
He brought your joined hands to his lips, kissed the back of yours without breaking focus on the road.
Silence fell again — but the good kind. The kind filled with weightless comfort. With the sound of trust. Of belonging. Of us.
You watched him drive, your heart soft and slow in your chest.
His shoulders had relaxed since he got to set. His voice, less guarded. You could tell he’d let go of something. Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was doubt. Maybe it was just that quiet ache of missing someone and finally getting to reach for them again.
Whatever it was, he was here now.
And so were you.
Home wasn’t a place. Not tonight. Home was this drive. His hand in yours. The hush between songs on the radio. The weight of his love, steady and sure, in the space between your heartbeats.
You turned your face toward the windshield, eyes slipping shut.
And you let him carry you the rest of the way home.
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The sun was already too bright when you shuffled into the kitchen, hair a mess, wearing nothing but one of Jensen’s ancient shirts from a tour he couldn’t even remember doing. You found him exactly where you expected — leaned over the counter with a mug in one hand, and a suspiciously crumb-covered phone in the other.
“Is that my cinnamon muffin?” you asked, eyeing the demolished pastry on the plate beside him.
He didn’t look up. “Define yours.”
You blinked. “The one I wrote my name on. In Sharpie. With hearts.”
“Oh,” he said, finally glancing up. “That muffin.”
“Yeah, that muffin.”
Jensen took a very slow, very exaggerated bite. “Never saw it.”
You narrowed your eyes, crossing your arms. “You’re lucky I like you.”
He grinned, unapologetic. “You love me. It’s different.”
You stalked over and plucked the last bite out of his hand, popping it into your mouth before he could protest. His jaw dropped in playful betrayal.
“Hey!”
You smirked. “Shared property. That’s how love works, right?”
“Not when it comes to pastries,” he muttered, but he was smiling again — that crooked grin that made your stomach flutter even now.
You moved in closer, sliding your arms around his waist, pressing your forehead to his chest. “We’re really home.”
His hands settled on your hips, warm and steady. “Yeah. Finally.”
You looked up at him. “Do I have to go back to work next week?”
He leaned down, nose brushing yours. “I can call in a fake scandal if you want. Something juicy. Keep you off the hook for a while.”
You laughed. “What, like you broke up with me because I ate your muffin?”
“Or I’m cheating with the craft services girl,” he said dramatically. “We bonded over croissants. It’s been very emotional.”
“Tragic,” you said, fake-pouting. “Guess I’ll have to make you jealous by flirting with Pedro again.”
Jensen raised an eyebrow. “That man could charm a potted plant. You wouldn’t even have to try.”
You grinned. “Might make you appreciate my Sharpie muffins more.”
He shook his head, pulling you closer. “You could eat all my muffins and I’d still pick you every time.”
“Even the blueberry ones?”
He leaned down and kissed you slow. “Especially the blueberry ones.”
You melted into it, laughter catching between your lips.
Home wasn’t always quiet. Sometimes it was teasing and crumbs and half-drunk coffee.
Sometimes it was just this — his arms, your laughter, and a life you’d built one stolen muffin at a time.
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coffins-and-marbles · 6 months ago
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Hey OP what are your trans Wilson headcanons? I want them from everyone ever
i love trans wilson forever so this might be a bit long!
wilson hates that he is trans, hates mentioning it or thinking about it and never brings it up if there's literally any other option
he realised he was trans super young (like 12?) but didn't know the terminology and was too scared of being further ostracized (autistic wilson, my no1 headcanon) so he just kept to himself and thought of himself as a butch lesbian in order to feel less guilty (this was a secret too, but he felt like being attracted to girls since he knew he was a guy deep down was better and more Straight...)
coming out to his parents was an absolute mess, we never see them in the show so i make them terrible in my mind for angst opportunities! and i agree that only Danny understood immediately -he already knows what it's like not to fit in. it's a big part of why he never sees his family (they tried some conversion stuff, he feels too guilty to be angry) it all plays into his constant attempts to be this Perfect Guy
as a child he always wanted to wear a suit and work a 9-5 (it was his heavily gender stereotyped idea of masculinity)
i personally think he's he/him exclusively because it makes him feel more Normal
he got top surgery and phallo ASAP because his dysphoria was terrible, he cried and had panic attacks whenever he had to shower etc (he also abused his binder to hell and back as well as trying to diy it as a kid by layering sports bras and guys DONT DO THAT)
there was a small complication with the phallo and although it was fixable it set him back like three months and he hardly left the house and cried just all day
he just literally makes every effort to appear like he was born AMAB and genuinely felt too ashamed to like blow dry his hair for years in case he was seen as feminine
house immediately clocks it because of some stupidly obscure house reason but it's not interesting enough for him to care.
house is the only one at PTTH who knows
when hilson happens house watches wilson do his t shots a couple times and just is unreasonably horny about the whole thing then they both discover forcemasc and...lets just say they have fun with it...
wilson and house feel more confident to undress at the beach with eachother because hey they both have scars
wilson still gets randomly dysphoric about the stupidest things ("house do you think my left eyebrow looks too feminine") and house uses the power of his usual sarcasm to dispel any doubts ("wilson that is the stupidest thing anybody's said ever")
okay ill stop now but when i say i could go on for pages i mean it!!!! i wrote this quickly in the morning because i dont have set headcanons usually i just go with the vibes but uhm...enjoy!!
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cryptidcorners · 2 years ago
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Hey! I saw your requests were open! Could we have some cute Mike fluff of taking Abby back to school shopping and struggling to help choose outfits for her? Probably would include being silently discouraged by the prices of the nice clothes but trying to get her something nice anyway? This can either be just Mike and Abby, or include a y/n girlfriend, I’m not picky. Thanks!
~ Mike Schmidt x Reader ~
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= Title: $49.99
= Character: Mike Schmidt
= Media: Movie!Five Nights at Freddy's
= A.N: I'm loving your requests ! This is too cute, had to write it ASAP! Hope you like it.
= Prompt: N/A
= Description: Just a fluffy one-shot of Mike & his girlfriend going "back to school" shopping with Abby !
= Request: "Hey! I saw your requests were open! Could we have some cute Mike fluff of taking Abby back to school shopping and struggling to help choose outfits for her? Probably would include being silently discouraged by the prices of the nice clothes but trying to get her something nice anyway? This can either be just Mike and Abby, or include a y/n girlfriend, I'm not picky. Thanks!"
= Tags: Fluff ! Slice of Life, Sweet Talk + Moments, Abby being Adorable, Back to School Shopping, Established Relationship, Some Comfort, Romantic, Found Family + Reader is !Fem
= Warnings: Slight Doubt + Worry from Mike, but it's Subtle !
= Please read my INTRO before interacting !
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"How about this one?" Abby pointed, eyes fixed on a colorful binder paired up with a neat pack of coloring supplies. Before Mike could open his mouth, she was already tailing it forward. An exhausted breath left his lips instead, but he couldn't help but chuckle softly at her enthusiasm. He missed when he was that way. It brought him closure to see Abby running around all excited, and he was going to nurture it as much as he could.
Mike gasped quietly when you lightly nudged his shoulder playfully. "Earth to Michael," you joked. Mike eased, folding his arms and shyly looking away. "Sorry, just thinking." Mike's eyes promptly shifted towards Abby, who was stirring about like she was in a candy store. Your voice softened, "About her?"
"Yeah. It's just nice to see her so happy. Especially after, well," he trailed off. "I'm just glad she's doing okay."
You caressed his face with a smile, and he quickly placed a hand on yours, obviously savoring the moment. His eyes closed in comfort.
"Mike, can I get this?" Abby asked. His eyes flickered open. "Oh?" He lowered himself down to get to her level. Something you had always found cute.
She extended her hand on a sparkly-colorful outfit, its lower half dragging against the floor. Mike hummed and pulled out the tag, and frowned. Which caught into you as well.
"Mike?"
"Hey, how about you keep looking for some more supplies. That way, when I get the cart, we can just pile everything up and get out of here quicker." He continued, "And you'll be able to use your color pencils quicker too."
Abby smiled, "Really?" Mike nodded quietly and ruffled her hair a bit. She turned back and disappeared down the aisle. Mike's eyes were following her the entire way, he wouldn't let her out of his sight.
Mike stood up, face low with defeat. "Nearly fifty bucks. I don't think I can afford it, but-"
You finished, "You don't want to tell her?" And he nodded.
"Look, I can put in a few bucks, Mike. I shouldn't let you pay for everything." You told him, arms wrapped around his shoulders. Mike weakly protested, "I can't let you do that. You've done so much, I don't want to take your money."
"Mike, I want to. I love the kid, and you've been working hard." You kissed his cheek lightly. Which made him bashful in record pace, "Are you sure?"
"Definitely."
Once Abby returned, you had decided to spend more of what you intended. As much as Mike protested, you insisted that it was all for Abby. Besides, it brought him incredible joy to see Abby trying on new sweaters and accessories she adored. That was convincing enough to let you gather a few more pieces of her new wardrobe and leave the store with a heartfelt attitude.
Abby had been holding your hand the whole time. She was definitely giddy, but she was quiet too. Which brought Mike to gently remind her, "Don't you have something to say, Abbs?"
"Oh, right! Thank you so, so, so much!" Abby said childishly. "I'm going to try all of these when I get home. My friends will love this."
"I'm sure they will." You replied with a grin. Which made you turn to Mike with a softened expression, silently mouthing an: "I love you" before driving home to spend time with Abby one last time before her new year of school.
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macgyvermedical · 8 months ago
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Hello Ross!
Came across your post reblogged by @msbarrows. Sorry if you've been asked this before, but what are some good steps to take now before the new regime comes into effect in January?/RFK Jr brain worm antivaxxer BS.
Thank you in advance.
I know just about every post on the subject says this, but- get your vaccines up to date. Buy yourself a nice TDaP from the CVS for Christmas. The Department of Health and Human Services (of which RFK Jr will have control) oversees the CDC and the FDA. While it would be unlikely he would go for an all-out ban on vaccines, he could make vaccines a hell of a lot more optional and refuse to approve new ones. Considering another goal of the administration is to repeal the ACA, that would mean childhood vaccinations would no longer be covered by private insurance (I was a child prior to the ACA and my mom paid $750 to get (fully insured) me vaccinated (about $1,638 in today's dollars). Meaning people will likely not be able to afford vaccines even if they wanted them. And a combination of expense + lack of mandate would mean a drastic reduction in the number of people who get vaccinated. While vaccines are less effective without community (herd) immunity, they are still great at keeping you from dying. So get them while they're available and covered.
Get your records. Download or request as many of your own medical records (and those of your children!) as you can. You can get most of your records through MyChart or other online portals. If you received medical care before electronic charting, you'll have to directly contact your hospital or clinic's records department to see if they can send you copies. Save them in hard copies in a binder or at least on a flash drive or disc you have the ability to read from a computer. This makes your medical care portable if you have to see a new doctor without a lot of time to plan.
If you're on more than one medication, have a "medication reconciliation" appointment with your doctor. Learn what meds you are on and know what each of them do. Call your pharmacy and learn how much they cost without insurance. Ask your doctor if there are any cheaper alternatives that treat the same things. In the case of an ACA repeal and loss of drug coverage, you're going to want to know so you can make an informed decision about which drugs you buy.
Get your mental health straightened out as much as possible. RFK Jr. has said things against antidepressants and other psych medications. While again, he's probably not going to ban them (Think of the lost productivity! Think of the pharmaceutical companies losing revenue!) he may make it hella difficult for new antidepressant meds to be approved.
Get on long-term birth control of you can get pregnant and don't want to be. The copper IUD is the longest lasting form of birth control and can prevent pregnancy for more than 10 years, but hormonal IUDs can last 7 or more. Each has their own side effects and benefits. You can always get it removed later if you change your mind, but getting access to birth control might become difficult.
Have any semi-elective procedures done ASAP. At least get them scheduled. If the ACA is repealed you may not qualify for health insurance and you really don't want to have to pay for a surgery out of pocket. Plus, if the FDA becomes less reliable, you're going to want any tools or implants used in that surgery to still be safe.
Get new glasses. If you have vision insurance, get a new pair of glasses (not contacts) now with your most up-to-date prescription.
Get any dental work you've been putting off done if you currently have dental insurance. Get a cleaning and any preventative care done you need too.
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xzaddyzanakinx · 1 year ago
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So like i'm chronically ill and i suffer a lot from pain and fatigue and it can get really disheartening and demotivating at times.
How do you think Anakin would act with a chronically ill partner?
I’m not too well versed on any chronic illnesses other than POTS (family member has it)
But thinking of her/her symptoms/issues here’s what I came up with:
You wake up stiff and and your joints just don’t seem to work properly? Anakin will be late to work just so he can get your heating pad, your coffee and breakfast, along with some snacks for later. He’ll be so sweet and give extra cuddles before he puts on some bio-freeze for you (he hates the smell but he loves you so it’s worth it)
You’ve had a great day, a productive day, so good that you made plans… and now you have to cancel them. He understands, he likes being home and cozy on the couch with you better than being out in public anyway. He’s secretly happy that he gets to skip out on drinks at the bar with your friends, that means he has you all to himself.
You promised you’d fold the laundry and do the dishes before he got home from work, but you only got halfway through before you had to take a break… that small break turned into four hours. Anakin doesn’t mind, he’s just happy you are taking care of yourself and letting yourself rest when you need to. He hates it when you push yourself too hard and you end up worse off.
He takes you to all of your doctors appointments, he takes off work the full day if he can. He knows appointments are stressful for you (they stress him out too). Anakin will make a full day out of it. Coffee and donuts for breakfast, lunch at your favorite place after. If it’s a long distance appointment he packs you a bag for the car ride full of: snacks, water (no soda or juice bc he has to force feed you water; he knows you don’t drink enough when he’s not home!!!), a book, your headphones, chargers, fidget toys, and most importantly Hot Hands bc you can’t have your heated blanket in the truck😕
Your pain is 10/10 and you can’t even pick up the phone to call him like you do every day on his lunch break. He’s immediately on his way home, if he’s not there already. Anakin has anxiety through the roof when you don’t respond to texts so you miss three? He’s coming home asap. You don’t answer a call? You best believe he’s leaving work without a second thought, he’s not wasting a moment to even tell his superiors he’s leaving.
He manages all your meds for you.
He makes all your appointments and keeps them neatly on the fridge calendar.
He surprises you with little treats as much as possible.
Anakin’s a homebody, he enjoys the comforts of your shared space, so even your hospital stays are treated like nights at home. He brings all your favorite things, doesn’t matter if it’s a one night stay. He’s bringing your pillow, your blanket, stuffies…
He knows more about your illness than the doctors at this point. He’s basically a specialist. Countless hours of research and learning not only to understand it better, but also to help you cope.
He keeps a record of all your appointments in a binder to track your medical progresses/declines.
He helps you get a service dog, he’s so good at redirecting/educating people in public when they get too close or try to pet them.
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icycoldninja · 1 year ago
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Okay so I have an idea so hear me out:
Do you know Casper the dog who faced off 11 coyotes and killed 8 of them. He went missing for 2 days because he set out to find the rest, and finish the job. He was obviously injured, with one eye turned white after said confrontation but he was alive and well
Can you write something like this with the DMC men with a reader whose family member (let’s say her sister or mom) gets killed/heavily injured by the Devils. She herself is pretty chill but the moment she found out, she’s seething and brewing with rage so she grabbed her sword and started slashing them down (imo characters who are the angry quiet type are scarier than the average loud kind of angry)
Afterwards, she’s on the hunt for the rest of them and went missing for days, just when the boys are slowly losing hope of finding her again, she returned back, with more injuries, bruised lips, claw marks and a blind eye covered in blood with a mysterious bag in her hand. Only when they ask her did she open the bag, revealing a bunch of the Devils’ heads
Basically the epitome of: “Idc whatever you do to me, touch the people I love and I’ll reign hell upon your existence”
P/S: I’m a sucker for women in binder wearing only Hakama pants so if you can have the reader wearing that, It’ll be delightful. Have a nice day
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Even though I have no idea who Casper is, you've given me plenty of information to work with. Hope I did it well enough. Enjoy!
Sparda boys + V x Casper the dog-like!Reader headcannons
¤ Dante ¤
-Dante was used to you being calm, quiet, and generally relaxed with everything, going with the flow and hardly ever getting angry.
-When you and Dante were visiting one day, a bunch of demons showed up out of literally nowhere and seriously injured her before either of you could even react. This was the first time Dante got to see your silent rage.
-In the blink of an eye, you reduced one of the demons to bloody ribbons, your entire body trembling with cold anger. Dante reached out to grab your hands but you pulled away and took off into the woods, chasing after the demons that had run off.
-Dante tried to follow you, but he lost you amongst the trees. The poor man was so worried for your safety, he searched for 24 straight hours but couldn't find a trace of you. It was like you'd vanished off the face of the earth, which wasn't good. What if you had been kidnapped by the very demons you were trying to eliminate? Worse, what if they'd killed you?
-Dante was forced to return to Devil May Cry after an additional 5 hours of searching because his weary body just couldn't go on. He sank into his favorite chair and sat there, staring tiredly at the floor, too exhausted to do much of anything.
-The next few weeks were hell for him. He couldn't sleep, could hardly eat, but didn't want to be awake. Not having you around made him worry, and worry kept him from functioning properly.
-Then all of a sudden, you arrive on the doorstep wearing nothing but your chest binder and hakama, injuries marring nearly every visible square inch of your skin, a gouged out eye and a strange bloody bag in your hands.
-Dante couldn't believe what he was seeing, and though his instincts instincts were telling him to get you to a hospital ASAP, he was also curious about the bag you had there.
-After he asked you, you graciously opened the bag to reveal the heads of all the devils that had hurt you and your mom, perfectly mutilated and rotting in their own blood.
-Dante would have whooped and congratulated you on your victory, but he was way too concerned about your injuries. Getting you patched up came first, celebrations could wait.
■ Vergil ■
-Vergil was accustomed to you being as calm and aloof as he was. It was comforting to him, in a way; it showed he wasn't alone in the world, as there was someone almost just like him in terms of personality right next to him.
-When you brought him with you to visit your mom, he never expected you'd be ambushed by a group of powerful demons. They must have anticipated your arrival, somehow, and set out to destroy you while your guards were down.
-Thankfully and unfortunately at the same time, the only person they succeeded in injuring was your mother. This action understandably pissed you off beyond belief. Vergil had never seen you like this, but truth be told, he rather admired this side of you.
-What he didn't admire was the recklessness you displayed in mindlessly chasing after the other demons after you'd already tore apart the one who actually inflicted the injuries.
-Vergil would have gone after you, but he was a practical man and focused on the important things, such as getting your mother to safety. Once she was in the hospital, he set out to look for you, but try as he might, you were nowhere to be found.
-He was worried sick, his stressed, exhausted mind overcome with emotions and crazy theories about what could possibly be happening to you. He was terrified, and this fear fueled him to continue his search until he nearly collapsed of exhaustion.
-He couldn't sleep, though, his concern for you acted like a boost to his insomnia, keeping him up all through the night. The next few weeks were all like this, a seemingly endless cycle of searching throughout the daylight and crawling back home at night.
-Then, completely out of nowhere, you showed up on the doorstep wearing naught but your binder, hakama, innumerable injuries, a blind, bloody eye, and a bag of something that seemed to be dripping blood, just like the rest of you.
-Vergil immediately pulled you into the bathroom to clean you up, scolding you about how foolish you were for running off like that and how he was so worried about you. He continued lecturing you like a frustrated mom as he cleaned and bound your wounds.
-After you were somewhat patched up, he questioned you about the bag in your hand. You gladly showed him the severed heads of all the demons you had taken in revenge. It is safe to say that Vergil had never been prouder of you.
□ Nero □
-Nero always thought your reserved nature made you awesome. He thought you were the kind of person who never got mad.
-Then, as you and him were visiting your mother, a group of demons appeared out of nowhere and attacked your mother, critically injuring her.
-Your silent rage was something Nero never thought he'd see. He'd never had the displeasure of witnessing your rage, and now that he had, he was terrified.
-He watched in horror as you tore apart one of the demons like paper, scattering bits of it all over the grass. Before he could say a word, you'd charged after the others, your expression that of cold stone.
-Nero panicked at first, but quickly gathered himself and took your mother to the hospital. He wanted to go after you, but he knew that you were undergoing some serious emotional trauma and he knew better than to interfere.
-He was sure you'd come back at some point, but was still tense and on edge. A couple times he set out to look for you, with no luck. He repeated this cycle for a few months, his hopes slowly draining more and more with every day that passed.
-Right at the apex of his misery, he heard a knock on the door. He rushed to answer it, and to his surprise, there you were. Sure, you were bloodied, injured, missing an eye, and only wearing your pants and chest binder, but you were there, and that's all he needed.
-He ignored the fact that you were dripping with your own blood and hugged you, mumbling frantically about how much he missed you.
-Then he asked what was the lumpy sack you were holding was, and why it seemed to be bleeding as well.
-You eagerly showed him all the lovely heads you'd ripped off, and though it was an admirable feat, Nero was now a little bit scared of you.
● V ●
-V knows that behind every stoic, expressionless face, there lies an inner heat; an inner darkness that burns brighter than the sun, should it ever be set free.
-When you took him to visit your mother, he never thought he'd find himself in the middle of a sudden and unexpected demon ambush.
-He fought hard, he really did, but the demons got to your mother before he could. They critically injured her, which caused your inner hatred to finally be released.
-You tore into those beasts with more enthusiasm than you ever had in your life. It honestly scared V to see how powerful you really were--he never thought he'd witness something like this.
-After dealing with one, you raced off to kill the others, and V, of course, tried to follow you.
-Sadly, he couldn't keep up. His weak bones gave out and he crumpled to the ground, feeling more useless than ever. He tried so hard to go after you, but he just couldn't.
-He was then taken back to Devil May Cry by the others who had found him, and remained there, feeling more depressed and lifeless than usual for several weeks.
-He was about to set out to search for you one more time, when you suddenly appeared on the doorstep, bloodied, bruised, missing an eye, and only wearing your undergarments plus your hakama.
-V was beyond shocked, he was absolutely flabbergasted, and also overcome with joy. So overcome in fact, that he started crying tears of joy. He first dragged you into the house and started cleaning your wounds, then he hugged you so tight, a few bones popped, and begged you not to do that again.
-Next, he asked about the strange bag you were holding that had gone largely unnoticed until now, and in response, you showed him the heads you'd literally torn off the demons' bodies. It was shocking, stunning, and also extremely frightening. V decided you two could talk about it after he got you to a hospital so you could get your eye treated.
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pastelalleycat · 4 months ago
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cute cat photos for reach (his name is buddy):
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howdy! i'm liz (they/she), a queer, neurodivergent person who lives smack dab in the middle of the bible belt.
my immediate family is maga, queerphobic, and evangelical christian to an extremely uncompromising degree. i have tried over and over to get them to understand how terrified i am for my rights and safety, to get them to use my preferred nickname and pronouns. after watching the state of the union with them the other night, i'm convinced they'll never change.
my mom has outed me to her siblings without my permission. my sister has outed me to one of her best friends. my dad is a pastor, and i don't know if he's outed me to anyone or not. my extended family on all sides are 98% conservative, and i don't have any irl friends, so i'm stuck at my parents' house with nowhere else to go.
due to the pandemic and social anxiety, i have neither a driver's license (though i have a permit) nor a job. i hope to get a job very soon; still, my transportation is extremely limited and will likely continue to be for a while.
i'm not in danger of being physically hurt or kicked out. but long story short, i NEED to move out asap and get to an safer place. i struggle often with thoughts of ending my own life and harming myself. i don't have a therapist and my mom is only willing to sign me to a christian one. i have literally nowhere else to turn but online. if you can donate anything to my ko-fi, please, i need help. i also have selfship art comms open if you want one.
for full transparency: right now, the majority of donations will be used as savings while i work on getting a job, while some will go to more immediate concerns such as gender affirming and self-care items (like a chest binder).
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chewbokachoi · 8 months ago
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ew real life
I have more or less tackled the final box from my ex. It was just a fuckton of the tea that got left behind, the cast iron skillet (I can make pizza again hooray), and my binder full of what remains of my writing notes from like....8th grade~a little after high school.
I don't think what would have been our 14th anniversary really phased me. It was a date that was busy with work things and then getting told "Yup you be bendy" by a specialist.
But maybe it is hitting me just in different, dumber ways.
Honestly, it was the beginning of the end when I was in NYC visiting family because while chatting with my sister, she commented on somebody she worked with who was in a situation of "found the perfect person and both really liked each other but it was the worst time." Thus, my sister's coworker never got to be with the woman who he was a perfect match for and vice versa.
The fact fact that I was like "HAH people being in love what a concept" was when I realized (but denied like a fucking moron) Oh my god I need out of this "relationship" ASAP.
Anyway, salty lemon juice in the wounds--and maybe it's just the stupid mood swings we're trying to track and calibrate--guess who found somebody that seems to actually be the most compatible? 🙃
I'm doing the smart thing, don't worry. 5 months is not enough time, and I'm still actually enjoying being on my own and being me again.
It's just rather annoying, and a part of me is hoping this can just be used as more data for figuring out the mood swings. It would not surprise me in the least if what's going on is just some stupid "up" state. If I sit and be logical about it for 5mins, that seems to help realign me. Mostly. Admittedly, the best way to deal with it is to probably just go "Yup. I see you feelings. Run along now--I'd like to write about sad angsty ninjas, please." Accept and acknowledge the feelings are there but not hit them with a shovel and bury them.
And quite frankly, he is so mild-mannered and nice he should be with somebody who isn't a firecracker on a "calm" day.
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t4tfitpac · 1 year ago
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I was interested in knowing what you think the preferred binding method of the two are? Or was the preferred if you think they had too surgery. As a nonbinary individual I’ve reached the point in my art where I’m experimenting with drawing characters adapting their chests so I’m curious. Hope that’s not to weird thank you!
OMG FIRST OF ALL ! I AM SO SORRY I DID NOT SEE THIS AT ALL ! wow, this was asked when the QSMP was still in business (i am so normal i prommy)
Ok so second of all thank you so much for your ask ! I have so many thoughts on this :D (so many thoughts in fact that they're below the cut now whoops)
I do like reading and writing all different kinds of trans Fit & Pac - whether they're pre-op, post-op, don't want surgery, anything goes. But I do have a special affinity for a few details.
Regarding Fit: I definitely think he did not have the ability to get anything done surgery wise in 2b2t, and his hormones were DIY at best. By using what he has available, I think layers of clothing have been key to him hiding his chest for all those years, as well as bandages when he's had access to them. His reputation would also help him along in not being outed, as people will flee from him from far away, and the ones he does see up close are either too distracted by the explosions of combat, too afraid to accuse him of anything, or people that he's close enough with to the point of them respecting the secret (because they have secrets too and it's a mutually assured destruction type thing).
When Fit first gets to Quesadilla Island, I think he sticks with his tried and true method of binding, even though it's not the healthiest, because it's what he knows. But, eventually he reveals that part of his identity to a few people. Phil definitely knows, and he would possibly sew Fit a binder, or share with him a sewing pattern for one. When Pac finds out, of course Fit gets a Tazercraft branded binder. But honestly, I think that the more comfortable Fit gets on Quesadilla Island, the less he has to compensate for his gender identity being recognized. It's just a given to everyone there that he's a guy, so he lets them hang loose, or even wears a bikini on occasion when going to the beach. I don't know if Fit would get any kind of top surgery for quite a while.
Regarding Pac: Oh he got those chopped off as early as possible. In prison (Fuga), he would be binding using bandages he sweet-talked Felps into getting for him, and he would have back issues from binding them way too tightly. I even think it would be kinda beautiful if Cell were to adjust his bandages for him at some point during the refuge because while he's a crazed maniac cannibal, he at least knows how to not crack a rib while binding !
When Pac gets to Quesadilla Island, he's either had top surgery already or is gonna be getting it soon. I think at first he wears some regular tank tops w/o sideboob, maybe some more loose fitting ones later, but Mike would help him out with surgery asap and that would be that. I could definitely see Pac keeping the compression vest post surgery though, for the grounding pressure it provides. and he'd wanna have a little fat left, I think, just enough to be kinda big pecs but not enough to be full on boobs.
Thank you so much again for your ask and I'm so so sorry it took months to respond ! I hope the many words help :D
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roycekeaner · 4 months ago
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rant about physical / visible traits me and my friends had in source because we didn't look exactly like canon mbav :P | note - there is talk about self harm scars for rory and erica, if that bothers you, please scroll !
ethan -
has hip dips and wears baggy low rise jeans with belts to try and hide it. he has pretty faint freckles all over his face and a few moles. for some reason his pupils are just always blown and dilated, no clue why—it's not a substance thing, his eyes are just like that. very dark brown eyes. his features are just generally very soft ! his hair is literally always messed up but it looks good anyways. no matter how much he brushes it it won't be neat. very white and straight teeth but he did have braces as a kid and wore a retainer for a couple years in like middle school and then just kind of stopped. weirdly clear vision ! i've seen people say they think his vision would be foggy due to visions but it's actually really good. whenever he smiles / laughs, his nose scrunches up, but he's embarrassed about it so he covers his face with his hand / sleeve when he's happy a lot. he used to borrow a lot of benny's shirts when he first came out as trans and couldn't get a binder, but benny always wanted them back asap, so whenever he can't find / wear his binder he takes one of rory's oversized shirts. he kind of dresses in this like midwest emo style, and he likes the music a lot.
sarah -
kind of chubby. she has stretch marks on her lower stomach and thighs. her hair is also kind of flowy ? some acne but not very much. she has lateral incisor fangs. fairly dark brown eyes. other than that she looks pretty close to season one canon. very nice teeth and hasn't had to get any kind of dental stuff. she basically always has some kind of baggy jacket on over a tight shirt, and she wears tighter jeans but very flowy skirts. she does also borrow clothes from erica on the off chance they kind of fit. she has tons of different earrings and wears different ones every day. she also lets rory pierce her bellybutton at some point.
erica -
she has dirty blonde hair but frequently dyes it to be platinum, and she takes good care of it. very clear skin because she watches her diet very closely. erica also has lateral incisor fangs like sarah does. very blue / almost teal eyes. very faint sh scars on her arms / wrists from when she was human. pretty sure she had braces when she was younger but i'm not 100% on that, she has pretty nice teeth. she swapped out her glasses for contacts when she got bit because she thought it looked better. she steals jackets from rory sometimes just so that random guys don't hit on her, but she always hides them in her locker when she finds a meal or a guy she actually likes. most of her own clothes are very tight / form fitting but she does layer them a lot.
rory ( me ) -
so much acne; so fucking much, also a bunch of moles everywhere but no freckles. actually has canine fangs instead of incisors because of the whole were / vamp thing, he's actually made for eating instead of drinking—most of his teeth are slightly sharper than normal. very bright green eyes. also has sh scars but they're keloid scars and higher up on his arms. also covered in normal scars from doing stupid shit as a kid—one of his arms gets achy sometimes because he broke it when he was like 10. basically has a mullet and heavy sideburns. wore braces up until halfway through freshman year when he tore them off himself because they made it harder to feed. never stopped wearing glasses and has had them since he was a little kid. typically wears very baggy clothes because he dresses very scenemo—also he layers his clothes a lot like erica does, including belts. he has a bunch of facial piercings but he did them all himself.
benny -
not skinny but not chubby or athletic, some inbetween. he has central heterochromia ( brown on the outside and green closer to the pupil ) but when you aren't up close it just looks like his eyes are hazel. slightly longer hair than he has in season one but it's barely enough to be noticeable, and he uses like a million hair products and has to get more / restock constantly. weirdly perfectly clear skin despite constantly eating the grossest food, like, no acne, no scars, also no freckles or moles. kind of messed up but fairly white teeth, and has never had to have braces. cares a LOT about keeping his clothes in perfect condition and gets upset whenever he loses a shirt or something. he thinks any alternative style is automatically emo and he hates it and thinks it's very cringey, refuses to dress any way that he doesn't deem 'normal'. he would probably get his ears pierced but not before bitching about how weird it is that people just have a bunch of them.
uh anyway if you like random things like this feel free to ask other specific questions ( big or small )
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