#and fuck it. indirectly but still
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So there is a Dear Evan Hansen reunion happening at Goodspeed Summer Stock tonight… pic.twitter.com/Dq696hd0Nz
— Dylan (@DudeSkipper) August 24, 2023
#=']#all i recognize is the front row furthest to our left striped shirt is alex boniello. then [person in purple] then andrew barth feldman#here as connoisseurs of the stage and ah jeez. oh lord looks who's in the damn thing#(saw a tweet from someone who i guess lived around there b/c they just spontaneously saw the show & were surprised corbin bleu was there)#summer stock#and i'll tag it as#deh#and fuck it. indirectly but still#will roland#representation of [show program studiers] in the back row there
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weird day to have been an rt fan several years ago
#waveridden.txt#so many of my friends today are people i know because of rtah. either directly or indirectly#the people i met in that fic scene... like 8-10 years ago at this point are still some of my best friends and my mutuals#this is like. so fucked. i am sad and vindictive and outraged and feeling lots more stuff i'm not getting into outside of group chats lmao
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“you’re quiet today”
it’s because Ody already decided what to do
#Eurylochus feeling guilt and wanting to check on his captain/friend#Ody has probably been quiet a lot (but never like this)#and Eurylochus still love him and wants to help (he always wants to help. maybe that was the problem all along)#but Ody cannot find it in himself to speak and pretend like what he will do of his own free will won’t happen#hear how he refused to sing man-made monster at the end of Different Beasts#then hear how he harmonizes with Scylla bc he has accept it now. killing his men tho indirectly. he gave them the torches.#he created the monster within. something he was running from since Troy#but solidifies in his silence as Eurylochus reaches out to help and comfort#‘Not much to say’ bc he knows what he plans to do#god fucking man#help me#epic thunder saga#epic the musical
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Oh fuck OFF Gender Is No Object is not zigzagged it's just fucking not true!!!! The fact that there are female cultivators and we hear about a female clan leader one time does not somehow mean that they dgaf about gender in the jianghu when
There is a deeply plot relevant fucking arranged marriage
Mianmian is constantly facing direct onscreen misogyny including misogyny used to delegitimize her
Wei Wuxian (and others, but her most notably given how much time we spend with her) is constantly saying internalized and externalized gender essentialist stuff
Mo Xuanyu/"Mo Xuanyu" is constantly specifically degraded for being a cutsleeve
Internalized homophobia central with WWX and LWJ
Not one but THREE characters (arguably 4 if you found Wang Lingjiao for this!) are wives of sect leaders whose decisions and motivations are informed by the fact that that's a position of power yes but one with extremely restrictive expectations and one that is directly and unquestionably subordinate to their husband
One of the primary antagonists is a serial rapist And his systemic power over women (especially poor women and sex workers) is literally a central defining factor of one of the main character's motives
THIS IS ALL DIRECTLY FUCKING RELEVANT AND ESSENTIAL TO THE PLOT AND THEMES
NEXT BITCH WHO TRIES TO SAY THERE'S NO GENDER POLITICS IN MDZS GETS THE BLENDER. INTO THE BLENDER YOU GO.
#YES MXTX HAS SOME MAJOR PROBLEMS WITH WRITING AND CHARACTRRIZING WOMEN#BUT LITERALLY IF YOU LOOK AT ANY. ANY!!! OF THE WOMEN IN THIS BOOK AND THE PLOT RELEVANCE THEY HAVE#MISOGYNY INC. VIOLENT MISOGYNY IS DIRECTLY!!! RELEVANT TO THAT PLOT RELEVANCE#AND NOT JUST THE PPL THE NOVEL RECOGNIZES AS WOMEN EITHER#JGY. THE MAIN COUPLE. MXY#LWJ MORE INDIRECTLY BUT STILL HIM#JGS FROM THE OTHER SIDE#JL!!!!#WQ IS MAYBE THE ONLY FEMALE CHARACTER TO WHOSE PLOT RELEVANCE THIS ISN'T CENTRAL? AQ AS WELL MAYBE?#SO FUCKING FRANKLY IF YOU SAY THAT THE WORLD OF MDZS DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GENDER#YOU ARE SHOWING YOUR ASS ABOUT FUCKING IGNORING THE PLOT RELEVANCE OF ALMOST EVERY FUCKING NAMED FEMALE CHARACTER#AND THAT'S MISOGYNIST! THAT'S FUCKING MISOGYNIST!
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AC Mirage ramblings and big emotion™️ because im tipsy
Do you ever think that every once in a while Basim will hear Nehals laugh or catch a glimpse of her in the corner of his eye? Do you ever think he smiles to himself but doesn’t chase for another glimpse and doesn’t try to listen harder because he knows he will find nothing? Do you think how after a bad nightmare he can feel her gently waking him up only to wake up to an empty promise and an empty bed that has always and will always be empty? Do you think some nights he replays that night in his head over and over trying to believe that she is always there never leaving him alone only to realize he was alone the entire time? Do you think that what remains of basim that isnt Loki craves the companionship that never existed? Do you think that sometimes he mourns for someone he has never met? Do you think that he grieves the real people in his life especially the children that he blames himself for their deaths? Do you think it destroys him when in the end it was him. It was always him. He is alone. And always has been. Because all it was,
Was a Mirage.
#sry#im a stupid drunken wannabe poet#DO YOU THINK HE STILL THINKS ABOUT HER AND SOMETIMES HIS BRAIN PLAYS TRICKS ON HIM#this game is killing me#clawing at me from the inside out#i love basim#and nehal#also why do we never talk about the kids#they loved him#and looked up to him#and his willingness to impress the hidden ones caused their death indirectly#i feel so bad for him#it fucked me up big time#the way i looked at each of their bodies#fuck man this game rly fucked me up#ac mirage#assassins creed#assassin's creed#assassins creed mirage#basim ibn ishaq#nehal
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i absolutely hate thinking about how trish winterman's attacker (the younger one) was among daisy hardy's friend group. like, the group that probably shared her pictures. meaning she could've very well been vulnerable to him
#like she was probably ALSO a victim of him#likely indirectly just through the photos being shared#we dont know if he himself shared them#but that whole group is suspicious as fuck and we know what they're like#so he was PROBABLY involved in it#i know the other guy (leo) is the real culprit because he groomed the kid but still#tw sa#broadchurch#daisy hardy#alec hardy
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I know Lars has been casted in the role of "The Good Mishima" so deep in my heart I know he's gonna stick with Jin to the end and theyre gonna Save The World from big bad evil Kaz together and theyre gonna be such good family without aknowledging that theyre family at any point and I know tekken HATES subtlety
But MAN what I wouldnt give for a scenario where, in the possibility that Jin DOES take out Kaz, Kaz's warning to Lars that "All Mishimas eventually turn on one another" realizes itself, with Jin seeing yet another family member turn on him bc "the devil gene is too dangerous to be left alive" and with Kaz gone, Jin is the only host of the devil gene. Mannn imagine Lars pulling a gun on Jin the very same way Heihachi did on him in tekken 3, which awoken the devil gene in Jin in the first place, and Lars having the same "Getting the world rid of the devil gene" excuse as Heihachi but meaning it this time and being overall more noble, but still. Lars accidentally looking like Heihachi.
#DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY VISION#DO YOU SEE THE POETIC IRONY AND HOW KAZUYA'S WORDS TO LARS COME BACK INTO THIS?#THE TRAGEDY OF THE DEVIL GENE'S HOLDERS WHERE THEY KEEP GETTING FUCKED OVER BY FAMILY MEMBERS#HOW UNJUST IT WOULD BE TO SEE HEIHACHI INDIRECTLY WINNING THRU HIS DEVIL GENE-FREE SON#it would never happen but still. a poetic end it would be#tagging later#tekken
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PASS THE YAOI!!!
#pass the yaoi#I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TAG THIS AS I’M JUST FUCKING AROUND#this was indirectly inspired by something else i saw on here#like there was an art piece of these little creatures chilling in what looked like an apartment#and i was like oh cool these little guys!#but i had no fucking idea what they were called still so i searched for an answer#they’re sea pigs#then i realised that they’re one of the fish in the pass the yaoi meme#not sure what the one on the right is i just wanted to draw more sea pigs#they’re so shaped
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i got invited into @skies-seas space headworld a while back and offered my beloved immortal space captain from spore 2008. and then it took me several months to finalize a design for them/their species
Captain Sondetten was once just a guy, but is now a spaceship puppeting around a clone of their old body. This is because they made the mistake of captaining the first expedition beyond their home star, and the first to encounter sapient alien life. Now they are not a person to the empire, they’re a living symbol progress and expansion and conquest and they can’t be allowed to die. So when they did, solutions were found. [more under readmore]
Several centuries later, Sondetten is still kicking. The same mind, more or less. They’ve accumulated so many memories that after a certain point, it was easier to transfer their mind into servers aboard their ship. Easier for the empire to maintain digital backups for when the ship is destroyed and needs to be rebuilt. Easier to filter out extraneous data that would only take up valuable space.
Son’s none too thrilled with their lot in life. Everything they do has political consequences that can make or break an alliance. Despite their influence they can’t do anything to change their situation. They don’t recognize the world they were born on. They can’t remember the names or faces of their countless dead friends. They’ve mostly stopped making friends, as no one else can understand fully what they’ve experienced. They’re a ghost haunting their own ship, which is more their true self now than the flesh they wear for the sake of being presentable.
In this shared setting, Son finally snapped and went rogue. They broke into a memory bank to hastily download a big file of that old ‘extraneous data’ (not a clean install, it’s not totally coherent or chronological but they’re glad to have the chance to invite old ghosts back in), then they made their exit and wrecked some shit on the way out, vanishing off to the other side of the galaxy. Son may have been a pacifist once but they’ve long since grown desensitized to violence.
There’s nothing stopping the empire from making another Sondetten, and becoming even more selective with what memories are returned to them to prevent this from happening again. But that’s a problem for that Sondetten, not this one. This Sondetten finally got away, and is for the first time in a long time somewhat mortal. They can make another body clone given enough time if the current one is killed, but if their ship is destroyed there will be no one to rebuild it and restore these memories. This Son will end if the ship dies, which is a novel experience.
In the meantime they’re trying to figure out how life works now in a place where they’re not being strangled by their own legacy. They arrive into the plot as just the ship with severe hull damage and some very atypical technology. They find themself put up as a grand prize to be won in some competition, which is not exactly what they were hoping for. They decide to play along for a time in hopes of getting free repairs, and only reveal themself as a sapient being when some folks try snooping into their memory servers or cloning process.
~ Anyway i made this species in spore in like 2012 or something? they were one of my main playthroughs and Sondetten is my go to when i’m playing the space stage :]
the original Maaydes + Sondie in game
i’ve been trying to draw/design the species but it took me sooooooo long to settle on what i wanted! the initial concept was marsupial + bird but it evolved past that. there’s plenty of thylacine in the jaw range of motion & general posture/body anatomy, but also some rodent proportions and upright posture. head cones from great crested grebe and austroraptor. wing anatomy and proportions are pterosaur, a single long digit supporting a membrane. with a wing covering of moth like scales. also a bit of pangolin but it’s more obvious on some subspecies than on Sond here
the idea is that the predecessors of this species had some kind of fur like covering, which over time changed into fused structures somewhere between a scale and a feather? they’re primarily equipped for insulation and ornamentation (colourful) but the wing scales help to provide lift, and there are larger variations that provide effective armour. stomach ‘plumage’ is more similar to the original ‘fur’
#spore#spore 2008#image#my art#my characters#char: sondetten#set: space placeholder#needed to take a break from art fight stuff which i won’t get finished before the end of the month but that’s ok#most of the revenges i have left are people i can reach on other social medias so i should be able to get them their art#anyway self indulgent oc hours for now :] sky and i are having fun#sonny my boy#they’re soooooo fucked up#dude was the paragon of their imperialist capitalist society and was forcibly molded into that role#theyre still not keen on war so they became a cutthroat businessman to get the empire what it wants with less blood shed#they also have still killed a lot of people though. directly and indirectly
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once again sorry to everyone for bringing this to your dashboards. but some of you are like, genuinely delirious. not even in a funny way. & i hope you die. i hope we both die. hand in unlovable hand etc etc
#Just so fucking bizarre to me how people can be Like This. there has to be something so wrong with your brain on a fundamental level#i can’t even laugh about this or anything because i genuinely feel pity for these people. it’s so sad to me how you’re gonna be like 20#and then go in a niche tumblr community and create drama over Nothing. over Thin Fucking Air#like do you not have a life? do you not have college? or a job? doesn’t it get tiring? don’t you ever feel ashamed about all this#and the fact that they go and complain about the shipping and the ‘fandombrained’ people as well…. oh my god#how are you going to be TWENTY. and DO THAT. are you seriously sick. ? do you need help#just say you are homophobic and that you hate kids and go. it’ll save everyone a bunch of time for sure#anyways. as someone who has been a rain world fan since 2018. i love you embracing canon. i love you changing canon. i love you disregarding#canon entirely. i love you ships that make sense in canon & that make absolutely zero sense at all. i love you fancharacters that don’t#follow canon rules. i love you ‘cringe’ fancharacters and self inserts. i love you self shipping. i love you oc x canon shipping.#and i love you taking inspiration from designs. i love you community & i love you artists & i love you art#i love you borrowing elements and being inspired and referencing something because you liked it.#are fandoms perfect? GOOD GOD no. is every Fan perfect? no. am i also sometimes annoyed or irrationally pissed off over a ship that#i think is stupid and is illogical. Yes! i’m only human! but i can still love and appreciate the whole CREATIVITY of it all. and the whole#Fun that people are having. i love you having fun. if i don’t like it or if anyone else doesn’t like it they can just Cope#instead of hateposting about it on main and indirectly bullying people who are most likely children. or lgbt. or both#anyways. please continue doing whatever you want. The world is your oyster and you only live on earth once#everyone else can fuck off
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Womp fucking Womp get off my fucking dashboard you cave dwelling troglodyte.
Kindly edited for the comfort of the public <3
#what’s even worse is the description said ‘its so sad I hope they still talk :(‘#LIKE HELL NO TOMMY HAS INDIRECTLY SAID THAT HE WAS A HORRIBLE PERSON AND HE DOESNT SUPPORT HIM#LIKE FUCK OFF#wss dni#fuck wilbur soot
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Nah, if yer pals with blackflimmakers/afrophunk or their friends like stephanos-spaceopera or neechees don't follow me.
Block me actually.
I don't give a shit what they're posting about, do not interact with me if you interact with them. Blackfilmmakers/afrophunk is an abusive asshole who likes to harass anyone who doesn't agree with them about fucking anything and their friends gleefully participate.
#nix meows#blocklist#still fucking wild she decided to harass me into a mini mental breakdown and didn't stop till other people got involved#b/c she was pissed off about me *indirectly* venting about her and stephanos repetedly refusing to respect a simple#fucking boundry and tryong to gaslight me every time reiterated that fucking boundry#and then decided to paint herself as the victim b/c I directly insulted her when she and her friends continued to talk shit about and mock#me for days after b.c her pals were watching my blog for her after blocking
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I've had a stupid merlin au idea stuck in my head for days now and I know I'll never get around to writing it the way I want it written but I kinda wanna try anyway even though I am 100% of the target audience
#it's an f1 au btw#so I feel like a merlin x f1 crossovee is very niche#but I just have this idea in my head pf arthur as a driver and merlin as an aerodynamics engineer#and arthur starts off as an ass (as per usual) and thinks that he's god's gift to motorsports and all his good results are because of his#skill and bad results are because the engineers fucked up bad#and lowkey people don't like working with him BUT uther is giving red bull absolute mega bucks to keep him and he is actually a fantastic#driver in his own right. deep down he's not super satisfied though because people keep saying he's only winning because of his car#and his dad's money which is why he's a grumpy ass to most people and tries to claim good races as his and blame engineers for bad ones#also because uther probably taught him that attitude#in this au I think either Newey didn't exist but rb dominance still did or this is far enough after Newey that I haven't got arthur blaming#him for a bad car because y'all I can't do that it's too unrealistic no one would believe it#(yes I am aware that max and checo are currently complaining about a car newey made but shh)#anyway he secretly goes to sign for like. williams or something who currently suck so he can prove to himself and everyone else that he IS#a good driver and can drive a shit car well. he's admittedly doing fairly well in a tractor when merlin joins the team as the new head#of aerodynamics and arthur is giving him shit because he's so young and how could he possibly fix this shitbox#then Merlin's first big upgrade packages comes and makes a pretty big difference and arthur has to rethink a bit#the next season is the first car that merlin was actually mostly in charge of and it's a massive difference and suddenly it's competitive#meanwhile merlin's pov is that arthur sucks ass and he hates him but he keeps being told that arthur is his destiny#he refuses to believe this though and even though he has magic he point blank refuses to use it on anything that would help arthur even#somewhat indirectly like using it to help design the car. his official reasoning to people who know about his magic is that the fia wouldn't#allow it but personally he also just wants to say a fuck you to fate because he doesn't like arthur. but then they get to know each other#more and he realises that maybe arthur isn't that bad and they become friends like in the show#arthur is leading the championship (pendragon dominance could bore fans) but then he has a big crash and is out for a couple of races#by all accounts it's a miracle he's even alive (it's the only time merlin has used his magic for arthur). when he comes back he still has a#chance at wdc but it's way tighter than it was. maybe there's only a few races to go. he gets some podiums and his competition has some bad#luck (genuine not merlin) or something but then at like the second last race he can guarantee wdc if he wins regardless of where anyone else#places. he does it and merlin is the one to go on the podium with him on behalf of the team (maybe not for winning wdc but just his first#win after the crash idk) and it's this big emptional moment#also morgana was as good as arthur as kids but uther only supported arthur so now she works for sky or someone in a role like nico rosberg
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siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
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"i just dont understand how a sane person could think of this" in response to a perfectly cute little piece based on a silly little image. i am attacking people with hammers
#shit like that sorta hits close to home i literally got called mentally unwell for similar stuff like having anthro cat ocs#bc ''if you were normal you wouldn't think of that stuff you'd think of normal kid stuff''#its soul sucking. i know thats a lot but its genuinely crushing.#its such an anti art attitude. only ever create things that are comfortable to the masses and fit within every single norm#never think outside of the box. even for silly things like a dog ponyo reference. thats Too Much. kill it. no human could do it.#it reminds me of when my aunt sought out my fanfic . net profile when i was in middle school with my pokemon and wc fics#and she made sure to loudly make fun of it at a party and talk about how it ''made her want to vomit'' bc it was so weird#and i needed to be checked out bc no normal kid would act like me. and that indirectly led to me deleting the entire account#bc i felt like a genuine fucking freak. it made me feel so insecure abt my art it made me so anxious to create#to this day i struggle with posting my writing specifically beyond stray ideas bc im worried itll pick up and people will say im a freak#and basically prove them all right#its a mindset im still trying to break down and its something my moms at least apologized for and im STILL affected by it so deeply#so it pisses me off so bad to see it repeated online even as a joke. especially when its used to harass people.#i feel like i need to tone myself down and make palatable art. but to some people that means the tamest shit ever like no anthro dogs#the only art allowed to exist to these people are those fucking eye doodles you make in math class and even thats a stretch
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man it Sucks to constantly be grieving for the child/person you could've been, but will never be
#trauma vent#like. there WAS no me before the trauma. i was four.#csa vent#indirectly but still relevant#it Also sucks to constantly grieve for the scared hurting child you were too. grieving the fact that i didnt tell.#i dont blame myself for it but fuck man. it probably wouldve ended way sooner.#actuallyabused#actuallytraumatized
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