#and for some unknown reason eddie still said yes

[hoperays-song]

Pros and Cons

Buster, trying to convince Eddie to go out with him in Uni: Pros and cons of dating me.

Buster: Pros: you'll be the cute one!

Buster, pulling out a list: Cons: holy shit, where do I begin—

[werepuppy-steve]

i keep thinking about that one bachelor au post so here's my take on it (i've never watched the bachelor or bachelorette so bear with me)

the bachelor au where steve's the bachelor and eddie is a contestant, but not because he actually wants to be, he's just in it for the paycheck. robin is also a contestant but only because her parents sent in her application without her knowing and she isn't out to them yet.

they both think that steve is overrated and definitely over hyped. typical rich kid with enough money to buy people's love, yada yada.

until they both start going on dates with him and then realize that it isn't exactly true. yes, he's rich, but he's also kind and funny and actually genuine once you get past the mask he puts on for everybody. eventually, eddie and robin find themselves looking forward to their dates.

only robin doesn't want to date him. he's slowly moving his way up the ranks to becoming her best friend, sure, but this is still tv. she's still expected to kiss him and confess her feelings for him. and when the time comes for her to do that, she can't.

they're in venice. steve is leaning in and robin is very aware of the cameras filming them. the back of her neck goes cold and her stomach churns and suddenly she's running in the opposite direction. her italian is passable so she ends up getting a taxi back to the hotel production put them in.

she locks herself in her en suite and presses her forehead against the cold porcelain. she doesn't know how long she sits there until her phone buzzes and she checks the notification. the nausea rises up her throat again. she forgot she gave steve her number.

there's a knock on her room door and another text.

r u ok? can i come in?

robin debates it but figures she owes him and explanation. she lets him in and they sit on the bathroom floor. robin tells him why she's on the show in the first place, about how she didn't know her parents signed her up until she got the phone call from the casting director. tells him that even if she gets kicked off, she can still use the money for her student loans.

she stares at the water in the toilet bowl when she comes out to him.

steve is quiet, processing, before he laughs. he's not laughing at her, he promises, but "robin. you're on a show with more than a handful of other queers, you know that, right? i'm bisexual."

and yeah, robin knew that, but it's different when you're not into the guy you're supposed to be romancing at all.

steve reassures her that it's okay, and that he still hopes they can be friends and keep in touch after the show ends.

robin would like that.

she apologizes to the production crew the next day and they're understanding and steve and robin get a re-do of their date. it's much more genuine this time, filled with laughs and digs as they eat gelato along the river and people watch and gossip.

it's the best robin's ever been on.

eddie, on the other hand. he's absolutely head over heels for steve, which is surprising even for him. he's trailer park trash, he's got absolutely nothing on steve harrington. not the name, not the money.

hell, the very first day, he insulted the guy's food choices right to his face without knowing it.

eddie wants the earth to give way underneath him and swallow him whole.

he plays it up on their first date, all fake niceties and empty smiles, until steve tells him point blank, "the guy that said the buffet was shit that first night? i want to get to know him."

eddie's flabbergasted.

steve opens up about all the fake people in his life, the ones who just take advantage of them and use him for their own gains. the ones who don't even bother to get to know the real him. the one that likes to play guitar and hang out with the gaggle of teenagers that follow him around all the time for some unknown reason.

he tells eddie about what he wants to do with his life, not what someone else has planned for him and eddie falls deeper and deeper.

this time, when steve leans in for a kiss, eddie doesn't shy away. their lips press together and it's the best goddamn kiss either one of them have ever had.

the show has a deadline, of course, and steve can't just spend all his time with eddie and robin. there are other contestants. robin knows her rose is strictly platonic and steve has already called her multiple times freaking out about his growing crush on eddie. she knows eddie has this in the bag.

the final night comes and the contestants have dwindled. there's only a small group of them left: eddie, robin, and another guy and girl they didn't bother learning the names of.

when steve chooses eddie after a moment of dramatic silence that kind of puts his own dm dramatics to shame, eddie doesn't hesitate to jump in steve's arms, wrap his legs around his waist, and plant a sloppy one on him right in front of the cameras.

[puppy-stevee]

i keep thinking about that one bachelor au post so here's my take on it (i've never watched the bachelor or bachelorette so bear with me)

the bachelor au where steve's the bachelor and eddie is a contestant, but not because he actually wants to be, he's just in it for the paycheck. robin is also a contestant but only because her parents sent in her application without her knowing and she isn't out to them yet.

they both think that steve is overrated and definitely over hyped. typical rich kid with enough money to buy people's love, yada yada.

until they both start going on dates with them and then realize that it isn't exactly true. yes, he's rich, but he's also kind and funny and actually genuine once you get past the mask he puts on for everybody. eventually, eddie and robin find themselves looking forward to their dates.

only robin doesn't want to date him. he's slowly moving his way up the ranks to becoming her best friend, sure, but this is still tv. she's still expected to kiss him and confess her feelings for him. and when the time comes for her to do that, she can't.

they're in venice. steve is leaning in and robin is very aware of the cameras filming them. the back of her neck goes cold and her stomach churns and suddenly she's running in the opposite direction. her italian is passable so she ends up getting a taxi back to the hotel production put them in.

she locks herself in her en suite and presses her forehead against the cold porcelain. she doesn't know how long she sits there until her phone buzzes and she checks the notification. the nausea rises up her throat again. she forgot she gave steve her number.

there's a knock on her room door and another text.

r u ok? can i come in?

robin debates it but figures she owes him and explanation. she lets him in and they sit on the bathroom floor. robin tells him why she's on the show in the first place, about how she didn't know her parents signed her up until she got the phone call from the casting director. tells him that even if she gets kicked off, she can still use the money for her student loans.

she stares at the water in the toilet bowl when she comes out to him.

steve is quiet, processing, before he laughs. he's not laughing at her, he promises, but "robin. you're on a show with more than a handful of other queers, you know that, right? i'm bisexual."

and yeah, robin knew that, but it's different when you're not into the guy you're supposed to be romancing at all.

steve reassures her that it's okay, and that he still hopes they can be friends and keep in touch after the show ends.

robin would like that.

she apologizes to the production crew the next day and they're understanding and steve and robin get a re-do of their date. it's much more genuine this time, filled with laughs and digs as they eat gelato along the river and people watch and gossip.

it's the best robin's ever been on.

eddie, on the other hand. he's absolutely head over heels for steve, which is surprising even for him. he's trailer park trash, he's got absolutely nothing on steve harrington. not the name, not the money.

hell, the very first day, he insulted the guy's food choices right to his face without knowing it.

eddie wants the earth to give way underneath him and swallow him whole.

he plays it up on their first date, all fake niceties and empty smiles, until steve tells him point blank, "the guy that said the buffet was shit that first night? i want to get to know him."

eddie's flabbergasted.

steve opens up about all the fake people in his life, the ones who just take advantage of them and use him for their own gains. the ones who don't even bother to get to know the real him. the one that likes to play guitar and hang out with the gaggle of teenagers that follow him around all the time for some unknown reason.

he tells eddie about what he wants to do with his life, not what someone else has planned for him and eddie falls deeper and deeper.

this time, when steve leans in for a kiss, eddie doesn't shy away. their lips press together and it's the best goddamn kiss either one of them have ever had.

the show has a deadline, of course, and steve can't just spend all his time with eddie and robin. there are other contestants. robin knows her rose is strictly platonic and steve has already called her multiple times freaking out about his growing crush on eddie. she knows eddie has this in the bag.

the final night comes and the contestants have dwindled. there's only a small group of them left: eddie, robin, and another guy and girl they didn't bother learning the names of.

when steve chooses eddie after a moment of dramatic silence that kind of puts his own dm dramatics to shame, eddie doesn't hesitate to jump in steve's arms, wrap his legs around his waist, and plant a sloppy one on him right in front of the cameras.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

honestly maybe it's just me but buck is literally repeating the same steps as with natalia and taylor as with tommy. they meet, he has a crush, go on a date, it's awful and the date leaves, they then come back, then try for real. Like it sounds like even though Buck is off the hamster wheel in regards to his sexuality he very much is still on the hamster wheel when it comes to repetitive mistakes when it comes to his relationships.

Hey Nonnie

I woudn't say that at all. Yes of course there are some similarities - there always will be - between Buck dating Tommy and the Buck who dated Taylor or Natalia. But the reality is they are worlds apart.

For starters Tommy didn't leave because the date was awful, he left to give Buck some space to do a bit more figuring out - he said so himself that his what he was doing. He chose to leave the ball in Bucks court, understanding this was a big new thing for him and that it wouldn't be right to continue anything until Buck was ready. Buck then contacted him when he was and they met up and decided mutually to give things ago.

This is very different to both Taylor and Natalia - both of whom left after something big had happened in Bucks life (Eddie being shot and Kameron popping up out of seemingly nowhere) and then they were the ones to come back - to chase after Buck.

Look we can have whole conversations about the chasing being chased aspect of things but the long and short of it is That both Taylor and (to a lesser extent) Natalia, Ali and Abby chased Buck in one way or another and when it suited them. Tommy has never chased Buck - he shot his shot, sure, made his interest known, but he hasn't once chased Buck. Buck has always mistaken things for him doing the chasing (he is an very unreliable narrator) becuse he gets invested fast and so pursues things. His mistake is moving to fast - falling to quickly for people.

This is the major fundamental difference with Tommy, who is older and wiser and settled with who he is and what he wants. He also has the understanding of being queer and coming out later in life - of discovering that part of yourself that has been hidden and the fact it might take Buck a minute to figure out things.

The other big thing for me is the level of honest Buck is being here - this isn't something we've seen before in this way. He has been completely up front with Tommy when it has been important for him to be so (I would argue he did do the same for Natalia but that he was more forced into it by circumstance). That coffee they had was a very very clear example of that, he sat down, appologised and laid his cards out on the table. He's told the two most important people in his life that he's bi and interested in Tommy and yes maybe going to a wedding is a bit fast, but he also knows most of the people there so he's not walking in to a big unknown in t hat respect and he has a lot of goodwill with the firefam at this moment after flying them to the curise ship so they could rescue Athena and Bobby.

In all honesty I'm far more circumspect about Natalias behaviour as well - far more than a large portion of fandom was towards her. Did I like her as a character or for Buck, No I didn't, but she also didn't do all that much wrong in my eyes, her wanting to take a minute when presented with all that Bucks life is, to think things through before jumping into something is perfectly acceptable and healthy behaviour. The reality is that she was more interested in Bucks death than she was in his life and thats probably what brought her back - that itching need to know more about his death and what it was like.

But she came into his life when he was in a rough place mentally and it was never going to go well for that reason alone. All of Bucks girlfriends have that in common - they met him on the job and then come inot his life when he is having some form of internal crisis. Abby when he had just lost his first person on the job - making him emotionally vulnerable. Ali when he's accepted his relationship with Abby wasn't going anywhere a new guy had just started at work (yes they were getting on by this point but it is still new and an unknown) and his sister had just come back into his life after having had no contact for several years - and he knows she's in a fragile place. Taylor messes hm around but when she comes back into his life and wants to date him - Eddie has just been shot and he's looking after Christopher - he's massively emotionally compromised. None of these are good times to start a romantic relationship.

That isn't the case with Tommy - Bucks actually in a pretty decent place - yes the whole discovering he's queer could be argued as making him emotionally compromised, but he's being given the grace to do things at his own pace - in a healthy way - Tommy is letting Buck dictate the pace they go at.

We also have to remember that we are in a tv show - every single character who isn't a main (or to a certain extent a recurring) is there to act as a storytelling vehicle for one of the mains - their character traits are always going to be those which help get a main character from A to B, to move the story along and to make sure our mains learn something about themselves and their fellow mains along the way.

Abby was about getting Buck from being a bit of a clueless player into a long term (ish) relationship - about growing him out of his jock ways and getting him (and us) to recognise that he isn't a player that he wants real love and a long term relationship. Ali was about him getting over his first big disappointment - about getting hm to move on and about getting him his own place to exist. Taylor was about learning what love didn't look like, about how to treat others and showing him what he wasn't looking for and teaching him not to compromise on his morals. Natalia was all about Buck reconciling himself with his death and rebirth and as soon as he had done that, she was gone.

Tommy is about Buck discovering his queer identity, having a safe space to explore that and about getting him ready for Eddie - its why Tommy is soooo similar to Eddie - Buck will come out of this relationship (whatever form it takes) understanding who he is, and recognising what he wants is what he already almost has - Eddie.

Tommy is also about helping manoeuvre Eddie into questioning himself - another reason why he is so similar to Eddie - Eddie needed to see a gay version of himself - and with Buck to actually start thinking about himself and who he is and what he wants.

So all this to say that Nonnie - Buck has very much got off that hamster wheel and he is very much not making the same mistakes over again. I'm very excited to see how it continues to play out and I'm overjoyed with how the show is handling telling this story.

[katyawriteswhump]

the freak in the penthouse part 9

E-rated (for sexual content), accidental millionaire eddie/sex-worker steve. Sorry I haven't updated this here in forever...

On tumblr: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3.1 Part 3.2 Part 4.1 Part 4.2 Part 5.1 Part 5.2 Part 6.1 Part 6.2 Part 7 Part 8 or search #thefreakinthepenthouse :)

On AO3

Preview: “Stevie?” spluttered Eddie, mildly winded.  “Eddie-babes!” Steve hung with his arms looped around Eddie’s neck. He was in full-on hooker mode—hot-pants, mesh vest, eyeliner wonky, and mascara everywhere. There was a faint pinkish bruise across his left cheekbone, and his breath reeked of booze. “What the heck happened?” asked Eddie. “Nothing bad… good… whatever. Oh man! You’re really bailing on me, huh?” Peeping over Eddie’s shoulder, Steve had noticed the packed cases and bulging garbage sacks. His dopey lopsided smirk was ridiculously cute, though it didn’t reach his glazed eyes. “Okay. One for the road. Fuck meeeeeeee.”

....

Chapter 9: promotion (trigger warnings for past abuse, trauma.)

“You shifty punk-ass son-of-a-bitch.” Kline blocked Steve’s path along the narrow backstairs corridor. “I knew you were playing me.”

Steve queued his answer behind a yawn. “Yeah, my breakfast shift was a bust. I’m sorry, and yeah, you’re not gonna pay me for today, but… Jesus, I wasn’t playing hooky for no reason. You wanted me to puke all over the waffles?”

Steve had, in fact, been slinking off somewhere quiet to get over the general yuck of being unwell. He should’ve tried harder to avoid Kline. He was simply too through with it all to think that far ahead, let alone conjure any ninja skills.

It grew obvious Kline wasn’t gonna let him pass without a shoving match.

“You want something else?” 

“Let me think,” drawled Kline. “That’ll be a big fat YES.” Steve couldn’t stopper his groan. Godchester had wasted little time putting his ‘order’ in. “A word in your shell-like ear?”

“Say wha—"

Kline grabbed Steve’s arm. Steve was still so shaky that he let himself be dragged into a walk-in cleaner’s closet. Kline kicked the door shut, releasing Steve with a shove.

“You dirty little hustler.” Kline switched on a buzzing strip-light. “One call to the police precinct and I can have your ass tossed in jail.”

Yeah, it’s always the ass. I guess the rest of me goes straight in the dumpster.

“So, I’m fired?” Steve balled his fists. His limbs felt as liquidy as a Robin Buckley fondue disaster, but if this douchebag was gonna try something… “Say it! I’m fired, right?”

“Hell, no. You keep your lousy job—I mean, who are we trying to fool here? You’re the most popular bellhop we ever had. Let’s call this a promotion, Casanova.” Kline beamed, flicked his dumb floppy fringe. “You got a date tonight. 8pm. I’ll confirm the room number later.”

“Oh.” The dull inevitability of it all trickled through Steve. He addressed a mop. “How much you getting for me?”

“That’s for me to know, and you to peddle your sweet butt for.”

Steve forced his chin up and glared with everything he’d got left. He knew roughly what he’d been ‘worth’—up to five hundred dollars a night. Perhaps more. Kline would’ve demanded top whack out of Godchester.

“If it’s a promotion, don’t I get a pay-rise? A cut?”

“Hah! Not likely. I know you’ve been whoring for that freak in the penthouse.” He jabbed Steve’s chest with his forefinger. “You owe me a cut, son.”

“Or what? Jesus, I… I…” Steve swatted Kline’s hand away, his glare fading and his panic ratcheting up. Kline was breaking the law, too, pimping Steve out like this. He broke the law regularly, sending Deirdre’s girls up on room service. Still, it would be Steve’s word again his, and Steve’s voice would be as lost as a fart in a tornado…

…but this wasn’t Eddie that he was expected to spread his legs for. It wasn’t even some unknown John.

It was Godchester.

Steve swallowed fresh bile. “Go to hell. I’m not doing it.”

“You playing hardball, Harrington? I mean, it’s a cute look, but–”

“I said NO.” Kline grinned harder than ever, teeth gleaming yellow. Then he struck Steve. “Ow! Jesus!”

It’d been a wet-fish slap, but it stung, and the shock of it set Steve reeling. Kline grabbed him by the collar, slammed him back against the shelves. If he hadn’t felt so goddamn peaky, Steve would’ve handed the slick sucker his ass. Today, Steve’s dizziness alone started robbing him of his breath.

Oh God, oh God.

“See my aforesaid statement about throwing your ass in jail.” Kline’s breath stank of Irish coffee and something really gross. “Pretty boy like you—that’s gonna be a jolly few months. Oh, and I don’t think the sob stories about your wretched asthma are gonna wash there. Like with me, they just won’t care.” 

Steve curled his lip. ONE TIME he’d shown this lowlife his inhaler, claiming he’d lost it, and only to cover for why he was really outside Eddie’s suite. Other than that, he’d never spun Kline, or anybody, a sob story.

“That sicko Brit wants you in uniform,” Kline was saying. “Fancies you as some poncy, overgrown schoolboy. Oh, and…”

He whipped out a pair of handcuffs and dangled them so close that Steve’s eyes crossed. They sure weren’t the furry ‘fun’ kind. In fact, they resembled proper police ones. The sort that bruised when you struggled.

Like I didn’t already know how tonight was gonna go down.

“One of Deirdre’s girls left them.” Kline hooked them in Steve’s pocket. “Gotta get one of the receptionists to source a wicker cane for your hot date, too. Lordy, the things I do in the line of duty.”

He released Steve’s shirt and was gone.

Steve bumped down the shelves onto his haunches. The strip-light hummed through his veins, and it felt like something sharp caught in his throat. His brain refused to have a coherent thought, let alone make any kind of decision. Eventually, he thudded the side of his fist to his thigh. The cuffs fell out of his pocket with a clatter, as did his inhaler.

He stared down at them both.

Eddie. He’d planned to go and see Eddie. What if Eddie was really through with him? 

God, I can’t… I won’t… I can’t think about it right now. But I can’t go to jail. I can’t… I won’t… I can’t.

He used his inhaler, pocketed it with the handcuffs. Feeling calmer, he slowly got up and brushed his crumpled uniform down. Then he went back to the restroom to rinse the chalky taste of his overused meds from his mouth.

After that, he kept doing… stuff. He simply couldn’t keep his scattered mind on what any of it was.

…

Eddie paced around the penthouse, pep-talking himself to the verge of frenzy. “You can do this. C’mon, Munson. Grow a pair already.”

1pm passed. 2pm passed.

He had to be out by 4 o’clock. Another guest wanted to check in that evening. At this point, he was randomly dumping his stuff into garbage sacks. There was no way he was fitting all his hoarded crap into his sticker-covered suitcases.

He wasted twenty minutes searching for Jimi Hendrix’s probably-fake guitar case, which he randomly located beneath the baby grand. Then he sat down on the stool. He dumped his arms then his face onto the keys with a truly un-metal plink.

Joke was, he really did hate this dump. 

Everything he’d said to Steve about it was true—it stood for all the ex-frat-boy-corporate-forced-conformity he despised. Henderson was sending a ride over to whisk him straight to the apartment he shared with Suzie in Pasadena. Eddie wanted out.

He still had no clue how he was gonna get to that ride.

It involved walking through a busy hotel lobby, trying not to go completely cuckoo, stepping into the street, and…

…oh God, Steve! He owed Steve at least six-hundred dollars, and he’d no longer gotten a dime to his name. Steve needed that cash for meds. To goddamn live. Eddie got that. For that reason alone, he would’ve forgiven Steve even if he had faked everything between them.

Yet, deep down, he honestly couldn’t accept that Steve didn’t feel… Heck, at least some the goddamn feels which were currently gouging Eddie’s heart out with a spoon. The thought of everything ending in such a car-wreck fashion, let alone of never seeing Steve again?

It hurt so bad that a keening sound leaked from Eddie’s clenched teeth.

He had to find him.

Eddie sniffled, de-hunched his back, and then his jaw dropped . On top of the piano, he spied some rolling papers and some Gamja.

“Obi-waccy-baccy kenobi,” he said to the plastic pouch, “yoooooou are my only hope.”

He’d gotten the reefer between his lips and the lighter poised in his hands, when he hesitated. Memories gushed back of Steve sitting at the piano, serenading him:

“I don't have much money, but boy if I did

I'd buy a big house where we both could live—"

Oh, the kickass irony. Eddie might’ve pulled that one off, before he’d pissed his fortune away. And Steve had been a goddamn revolution for Eddie. When he arrived, Eddie couldn’t even listen to music he loved without ripping his hair out. Last night, thanks to Steve, Eddie had teetered on the brink of packing his trunks and leaving this dump on his own terms. It’d been Steve who’d been triggered by that Queen song, something to do with his parents, and then…

Eddie placed his joint down on his lap.

Okay, Munson. Showtime. Do what you were gonna do before Henderson blasted you with a double six. You blaze out into that hotel, clear-headed, and you find him. No need to be a hero. Baby steps. Just tell him… tell him…

Tell him what exactly?

Eddie heard a distant banging. In an adjoining part of the suite, somebody thudded on the main doors.

Eddie jumped up. His joint unravelled and his weed scattered everywhere. While he’d resolved not to smoke the damn thing, he sobbed a little. Plus, it was still only 2.23 pm, and surely hotels this snazzy didn’t send bailiffs? Besides, Dustin had settled the bill.

The bashing got louder. “Eddieeeee!”

Steve!

Eddie’s every trouble—even his terror of the big bad world—was briefly forgotten. He sprinted to the doors, yanked them wide. Steve’s fist was raised for another thump, and he tumbled forward into Eddie with a thud.

“Stevie?” spluttered Eddie, mildly winded. 

“Eddie-babes!” Steve hung with his arms looped around Eddie’s neck. He was in full-on hooker mode—hot-pants, mesh vest, eyeliner wonky, and mascara everywhere. There was a faint pinkish bruise across his left cheekbone, and his breath reeked of booze.

“What the heck happened?” asked Eddie.

“Nothing bad… good… whatever. Oh man! You’re really bailing on me, huh?” Peeping over Eddie’s shoulder, Steve had noticed the packed cases and bulging garbage sacks. His dopey lopsided smirk was ridiculously cute, though it didn’t reach his glazed eyes. “Okay. One for the road. Fuck meeeeeeee.”

“Tempting. Let’s put that on a backburner.” Eddie awkwardly manoeuvred Steve farther into the suite, grunting at the effort. Steve giggled. “I wanna grovel a bit, honey.”

“What the fuuuuuck for?” Steve unwound himself from Eddie, flinging his arms about dramatically. “I lied to you, Eddie, and I’m NOT SORRY. I’m a bad, baaaaaad boy.” He pirouetted about then crashed to his bare knees, landing among Eddie’s sketches. Which Eddie had still not tidied away. Fortunately, the chambermaid had picked up the broken pieces of vase—doubtless, it had been added to Dustin’s list of charges.

“Hey, this is new.” Steve picked up one of Eddie’s flesh-eating plant monsters. “Blood and violence? You dig that, huh? You wanna punish me? Bring it on, oh Skeletor Dungeon Lord!”

“Oh God! Yesterday, I was being an idiot, okay? You know I’m not into nasty shit.” Eddie offered Steve a hand to help him up. Steve ignored it and levered himself up unsteadily.  “Look, it was a crit hit when I found you in the restroom like that, a lot to take in. I don’t want us to take a break. I still wanna help you, if you’ll let me, but I gotta ’fess up—”

“Oh, that’s how it is, is it?” announced Steve. He didn’t seem to have listened to a word of Eddie’s attempts to make nice. He had, however, spied an overturned trash can. And the half-dozen scrunched-up approximations of himself, one of which he now grabbed and pitched furiously across the room. “You’re throwing me away? Screw you. SCREW YOU!”

“Honestly. I’m not. It was a shitty likeness, that’s all, and… Christ, you’re totally wasted. Please calm down. Please?”

As Eddie tented his hands in prayer, Steve hurled another curveball. He looped his arms around the fake marble pillar and cuffed his wrists together with what looked like true-blue police-issue handcuffs.

“Gimme your worst!” screamed Steve. “Blood and violence, huh? I can take it. Hurt me, big boy, come on. Fuck me raw. Hurt me… hurt me… hurt me.”

“Stevie, I—” Very gently, he placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve twitched him off then started whispering again:

“Don’t… D-don’t touch me… Don’t. Go away… go away. Please… please… please.”

“I will never hurt you. I promise.” Eddie hurried around the pillar. Steve stared straight through him like he wasn’t there, his breaths shuddering unevenly. Eddie didn’t think he was having an asthma attack. It seemed more like some kind of panic attack. Jesus, Eddie knew about those, though right now, he was dead set on keeping his head together. He still had no clue what to do. He couldn’t even comfort Steve through fear of triggering something worse.

“Uuuuuh, where’s the keys to the handcuffs?”

No response. Not a flicker.

“Steve? Just to be super-safe. Where’s your inhaler?” Tears trickled from Steve’s unseeing eyes. The last remaining color syphoned from his cheeks. Eddie clawed his hair: “Inhaler, Steve. Did you bring it? Do you need it?”

Steve’s knees buckled and he slithered floorward, still loosely hugging the pillar.

“Holy shit! Okay, try and look at me. Steve?” Eddie crouched in front of Steve, waved his hand near Steve’s nose. “I don’t like this, Stevie. Do you need a doctor? I’ll pay, you don’t need to worry about a thing, okay? I’ll take care of everything.”

I’ll pay with the strips Henderson’s gonna tear off my ass.

When somebody else knocked loudly on the doors, Eddie jumped to his feet. Steve didn’t blink.

“Steve? STEVE!” yelled a female voice from outside. Then, “Let me in, you loaded bastard! I got a rolling pin here, and I swear to God—I’m gonna batter this door in and your face is gonna be next.”

...

Part 10 on tumblr

Part 10 on AO3 (tumblr link coming soon)

Thank you for reading. Likes, reblogs and comments much appreciated and will feed the bunnies🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕

On tumblr: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3.1 Part 3.2 Part 4.1 Part 4.2 Part 5.1 Part 5.2 Part 6.1 Part 6.2 Part 7 or search #thefreakinthepenthouse :)

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[scarecrowdrugs]

Shivers Scarecrow Lore

Backstory mostly takes cues from Year One, along with Masters of Fear. He’s got trust issues cause of it, to say the least.

Roughly mid to late 40s by the time Damian’s been established as Robin

Semi-closeted bisexual. He’s someone who went to school in the Deep South in the 80s/90s and he was raised by a great grandmother who would absolutely have killed him if he ever outed himself. Jonathan knows how dangerous it was to be a bisexual man back in the day. It’s mostly unknown to the regular public, but somewhat known to some of the Rogues.

Grew up with a fairly thick Georgia accent, but he started training it out once he moved to Gotham, mostly due to a combo of people making assumptions about him due to it and because he really doesn’t want people digging into his history in Arlen. It’s mostly undetectable nowadays, but it will slip out if you get him flustered or annoyed enough.

He’s never gotten a formal diagnosis, but he’s been fairly certain since college that he’s autistic. Some of his stims include leg tapping, finger snapping, pen clicking, and hand flapping (usually only if he gets really excited). Some of his special interests include old medical journals, antique medical equipment, and book collecting.

Former psychology professor at Gotham University, with a healthy amount of published work. The question of whether or not citing his work is actually ethical is a common safety concern.

He’s not an actual licensed therapist, but he occasionally poses as one for the research opportunity. He’s actually managed to recruit at least two people as his henchmen this way.

He’s (sort of) a dad! I mean, murdering your mom and her husband and then impulsively stealing your half-sister counts, right? In his defense, he actually made an effort with Clarice. Kinda.

For all his many, many faults as a person, he’s genuinely grown to love Clarice. Yes, he killed her mother. Yes, she’s stabbed him in the gut once. All that being said, going after her is an absolute guarantee that you’re going to get butchered by the Scarecrow. As far as he’s concerned, that’s his little girl.

Absolute epitome of violent devotion. Unconditional love is something that he didn’t realize he was capable of or being shown. He’s a man who’s just learnt the concept of having actual human attachments and it’s resulted in him leaving claw marks in everyone he loves. Having Jonathan Crane in your life comes with the knowledge that he will kill anyone just to keep you safe.

That being said, he’s still one of the more dangerous Rogues for a reason. He doesn’t have that many hard limits with who he targets, and he’s definitely going to go out of his way to ruin your life if he feels like he’s been slighted.

Jonathan is a fairly okay cook if he actually wants to make an effort, but he’s usually too busy with research to remember to feed himself. He’s usually at his healthiest when he has someone else to feed. The man does make a pretty damn good potato soup.

Completely unironic enjoyer of shitty gas station coffee; we’re talking the absolute worst, most burnt coffee you can find. If it doesn’t come in a shitty Styrofoam cup, he ain’t interested.

He’s usually on fairly good terms with Riddler, Mad Hatter, and Harley, with the former being the one he’s on the best terms with. Eddie’s his usual go-to in case for a place to stay during emergencies. In Jervis’s case, it’s more of case of wanting to study him like an insect. In Harley’s case, he gets along with her due to briefly having her in his class for a semester back in the Gotham University days.

Scriddler is sort of canon here, albeit not as a romantic relationship. It’s more like a friends with benefits situation, not to mention the fact that Jonathan’s seen how messy Eddie can get when dating someone.

Very tall, we’re talking around 6′6″ tall and he wears lifts in his costume to give himself an extra inch or two in height. it’s all about the Looming, baby!

He enjoys a fairly wide range of musical genres, including bluegrass, outlaw country, swing, gothic rock, and new wave. He’s also a huge David Byrne fan, along with Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. 

Despite his height and general lankiness, he’s way more flexible than most people think. He’s made at least one escape attempt by crawling through an air vent. Not to mention the fact that he’s able to do some Alien: Isolation shit!

Scarecrow isn’t really a separate personality, but he does actively cultivate a different vibe when he’s Full Scarecrow Mode, somewhat similar to the concept of method acting. Everything from the way he talks to the way he walks is a performed action that he’s put intensive work into. He has a very particular gait he uses when actively stalking a person; he tends to start walking on the balls of his feet, really making his footsteps as loud as possible. He’ll also make certain vocalizations, mostly a mixture of soft hisses and a particular Predator-esque click. If he really wants to fuck with someone, he’s bringing out the Blixa Bargeld screams.

Jonathan’s really going for the idea that Scarecrow is something that isn’t quite human, and he’s very proud of the effect this has on people.

[sweet-villain]

Silence~14~ Eddie Munson

Summary : The gang hears what Eddie said, wanting to knock some sense into him before you leave

Tags : @reidstea @sadbitchfangirl @pagesfalling @noayuusukki

@fvcking-gxddess @ruinedbythehobbit @eddiemuns0nl0ver @haylaansmi @yourdailymemedelivery @xxhospital-for-soulsxx @m-rae23 @h-o-m-e-w-a-r-d @heyhowareyaxd @rockautumnviking

Author's Note : One more chapter left!

Previous Part

It's been a day since the whole thing with Eddie, he had made his choice to walk away from you and any future you both might have. He didn't want you. You were convinced by that and more reason to leave.

You were helping Steve and Robin at Family Video watching them bicker together, you loved their friendship.

" That doesn't go there, dingus!" Robin grumbled, smacking him in the back of his head. Steve winced, rubbing the back of his head.

" Y/N" he wines catching your attention. " hm?" you haven't really paid attention to what was going on but looked over to him, you were in the horror section but haven't chosen anything.

" Robin is being mean to me"he pouts, his bottom lips is out as he stomps his feet.

" Stop acting like a child, and listen to her and maybe she won't" Steve gaped hearing you were on her side then his.

" You don't love me anymore" he grumbles turning around with his arms across his chest. " You need to stop being a baby, that's what you need to do" Robin smacked him at his head again, he glares at here before he looks at you seeing the distant look in your eyes.

" Y/N?" he calls out to you but you are too busy thinking on what Eddie has said to you. He just walked away from you like you were nothing.

" Do I look happy? Do I still look the same Y/N? You know, before you know?" you wave both your hands around, shrugging. Steve frowns as does Robin.

" What do you mean? Did someone say something?" Robin asks. You shrug again, " Eddie did" both their eyes go wide.

" You and Eddie talked" you nodded looking down at your worn out shoes instead of them. You were nervous on what they would say.

" when?" Robin makes her way over to you and pulls you into a hug seeing you starting to shake. You can't control it but you let a few tears shed. " yesterday, he didn't bother to tell me to stay, he spat bullshit and left"

Steve is gritting his teeth as his fist are by his side. No one hurts his best friend like that and spats bullshit. You two didn't even hear Steve leave.

" Where is Harrington?" you pull away from Robin as she turns, but then hears the BMW reverse as he speeds off. You look at Robin with an unknown look on your face but you had a feeling knowing where he was going.

-

The door to the trailer flies open scaring Eddie as he was rolling a joint and his eyes go wide seeing a fuming Steve Harrington staring daggers at him.

He raises his hands up as Steve stands there.

" Whatever this is man, I didn't do it"

" Oh yes you did" Steve spats. " Are you an idiot?" Eddie's eyebrow scrunched up together as he stares at his friend. " You're really going to let her leave? Just like that? You just got her back, do you not love her? That girl saved you, you are alive because of her!" Steve slammed his fist against the trailer door as it swings again.

Eddie has a blank look on his face not knowing what to say but glances down at the table. He is a coward for letting you go, but it's what you wanted, no?

" it's what she wants" Steve laughs, running a hand through his luscious locks. " I don't even know you, man. She hasn't changed at all, I think you lost your mind, pal. She is the best thing that has happened to each and everyone one of us. Do you not realize how much she put her trust in us? She came from an abusive home to a home she trusted to people she trust, she talks now. Mainly because of you, you moron. You're letting her get away through your fingers and you've shoved that joint so far up your ass because that's the only thing that's going to even love you from now on and pleasure you"

Eddie is gaping at him, shocked watching him leave out the door. Maybe Steve is right.

-

" hey kid" you sat up in bed watching as Hopper walks into your room, laying his head on the table next to your bed. " hey dad" you smile at him, putting your book down. He takes a chair and sit in front of you.

" I just want you to know that you're the best thing that has happened here, after everything. Your friends may say it to you a lot but coming from me, I want you to hear it. Since you became like a daughter to me"

" ahem" you both hear and there was El with Mike watching. " Get over here, you two" both of them run to your bed and sit on top of the covers.

" You both" he takes a hold of your hand and El's. " Have became my daughters and it's the best thing I can wish for, after everything you have both done for Hawkins"

" Dad-" you start but he shakes his head, " After El brought you here to the cabin, my heart sank to my stomach seeing the damage done to you. You were weak, you were so-" his eyes become glossy as El finishes for him.

" broken" she squeezes your hand. " I wanted to do everything in my power to protect you, I know what you have been through Y/N. I know the damage you have been through but you are strong girl, and I admire you for it"

" You're getting mushy, dad" he laughs wiping his tears. " I just want to say I love you, kiddo" he takes his hat and places on top of of your head.

" I love you too dad, more than you know"he smiles as you get out of bed and hug him, kissing his cheek. El gets up from the bed and coming from the other side, doing the same as he holds you both close.

Your heart is hanging on strings thinking of leaving them.

" You're all mushy" Mike says, you forgot he was there.

-

You stood looking down at your grave seeing the flowers, and small gifts but your eyes catches the ring, it was ring that Eddie wore on his finger. He had been visiting you when you weren't " alive."

It brought you to tears seeing it, you pick it up in your hands and slide it onto your finger looking at it as this was a piece of Eddie that you would hold onto.

He was your first love.

" Hey" you turn to see Max standing there, with a glum look on her face.

" What are you doing here?" you ask. She motioned to the grave stones ahead of yours. " Visiting Billy" you nod looking to where his grave stone is.

" How are you doing?" she asks.

" As best I can" she nods walking over to you and wrapping her arms around you. " I wish you didn't leave" she softly says before adding, " you keep us together"

You ran your fingers through her red hair not knowing what else to say but hug her. She pulls away, " Eddie is stupid for letting you go like that"

She was there when Eddie yelled and walked away from you. She saw it.

" He doesn't love me anymore" the way you said it made her own heart break for you. She wants you to stay, " Please stay" she begs grabbing your hand in hers. You glance down at her hand, " We could always braid each others hair, talk about boys, annoy them, go shopping with El, do each other nails, please Y/N"

" I can't. It hurts too much" she nods blaming the metal head boyfriend of yours as she rushes out of the graveyard leaving you confused.

-

The door slams to Family Video and Max makes her way inside, anger seeping through her.

" Okay Max, please don't break the door otherwise you'd have to pay for it" her eyes can the store and lands on the metal head. A little birds told her where he might be. She stomps up to him and grabs his jacket. He turns around, confused at her.

" You're the biggest idiot I know" Eddie rolls his eyes hearing it the second time this week. " I already told him, Max" Steve says. She puts a finger up to silence him.

" Are you really going to let her leave just like that?" Eddie looks down at his own shoes not bothering to answer her. " I'm talking to you!" He looks at her, and shrugs.

" You're a coward, the girl you love is going to leave Hawkins for good and all you can do is push her away and tell her the best of luck? Are you serious, dude?" Eddie blinks his eyes. He knows what he is doing is wrong but he is doing it for you.

" It's best for her" he finally answer's Max. She laughs crossing her arms across her chest. "You need to open your eyes, she loves you. She died to protect you, she wanted you to live, to finish school, she wanted you to feel like you mattered! She is like a big sister to me and when she came back, it was like everything was going to be okay. But she is leaving again, and you" she pokes him in the chest with her pointy finger, " you are letting her go. You love her, what's the problem?"

" I'm not good enough for her" Max scoffs.

" Tell some other bullshit, go on"

" He doesn't have any. He's a coward, remember?" he hears Robins voice and he shoots her a glare, but she is right.

" She doesn't deserve me"

" Damn right! But you dingus don't realize how much she loves you! The girl sacrifices her life for yours. Does that mean shit to you?"

He shakes his head.

" Yet you're still here" Robin says glaring at him and goes to the back, she covers her face as she sobs. She doesn't want you to go, you helped her with Vicky.

-

Eddie sits on his throne as he looks over at Dustin, Mike, Lucus and the rest who stare daggers at him.

" What?"

" You should be running after her, begging her to forgive you" Mike says. " She is really leaving, her bags are packed in Jonathan car. Her dad said goodbye to her, today is the last night she is is here and you are playing coward"

Dustin is really quite and Eddie notices it.

" Henderson" he starts to say.

" Shut up" Dustin says as he glares at the Dungeon Master at the head of the table. " You're really running away from my sister that loves you. She came into my home, after what she has been through. She put her trust in me, in my mom and then Steve, then you and you broke it all. She didn't have to sacrifices her life for you, but she did because she loves you, Eddie."

" There is no shame in running" he says leaning back on his throne.

" We aren't playing this anymore, you need to figure it out" Lucus says s he stands up, Mike follow him as the rest do and Dustin stops before he leaves, " I really thought you'd be my brother in law some day. Eddie, she is really going to be gone. We told her that she can visit, but she's not. I know her. She is leaving and not coming back, get it through your head. You're losing something good"

Eddie is looking at his lap, his eyes are tearing up. You weren't coming back? His heart broke and it's all his fault that you were leaving. He shouldn't off left you that day he walked away.

He packs his things but not before the door opens and you step in. You make your way over to him, Dustin told you were Eddie was hoping things would be okay.

" This is yours" you give him his Hellfire shirt back, he brings it up to his nose and it smells like you. You watch him as his eyes get glossy again and he holds it to his chest.

" Right, I need to go. I'm leaving tomorrow and I should get some rest" you nod looking at him like it would be the last time you look at him.

" Eddie?" you call out his name, he is already looking at you. " I just want you to remember, I really did love you and I did it for you. Thank you for giving me a chance to let me love you, pretty boy" you go up to him and stand on your toes to kiss his cheek. He glances down at you, looking to see if there isn't any lie behind your eyes and when there isn't, when he tried to reach out to you. He can't, you are walking away from him but something catches his eye. It's his ring. On your finger.

A wide smile spreads his lips. You took it from your grave and now you have a piece of him. He takes the box from his jacket and opens it. The ring shimmers in the light. It's your engagement ring.

He was going to give it to you after graduation.

" I have to get her back" he mumbles to himself, grabbing everything off the table from Hellfire and his jacket that contain the ring he plans to give to you in hopes you won't leave.

[la-duvalin]

omg here it is my first ever request: edward nashton x reader where reader lives next door to ed with her mom and stepdad and he can hear them fighting all the time. at first, he tries to mind his business until he runs into her in the stairwell while her parents are fighting again. maybe she even has a bruise and that triggers something inside him… maybe they grow mutually infatuated with each other? maybe she helps him with his riddler schemes? idk feel free to change it up how you see fit, i cant wait to see where you go with this!

Oh my! Hell yes dear bestie, and thanks for such an interesting, juicy ask!!♡ I'll do my best for your 1st request! This one is also a couple of firsts for me!I hope you enjoy this as much as I loved making it <3 Also thank you for your patience!!

Happy birthday my dearest friend ♡♡

Summary: Your life is living hell from time to time, until you start getting to know your peculiar neighbour who looks like a cute floruga, who kinda happens to not be one completely, but it seems like he makes your life heaven, or...doesn't he?

Warnings: Eddie with a god complex, descriptions of violence, angst, mature language, descriptions of murder, domestic violence, smut,dub con, masturbation, humilliation in sex, forced masturbation, non con fingering, manipulation, reader forced into submission and obedience, gaslighting, incel thinking and behaviour, misoginy.

Little FYI, in the parts were I narrate things from our dear Eddie's point of view, is how I think he would express and think things, not mine!! It counts for the reader as well.

AFAB reader with she/her pronouns!!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! This is a dark fic, please be wise and prudent.

Word count: 13k

Hell Also Has a Spectrum

You noticed how the sound of his footsteps stopped suddenly, your curiosity got the best of you, so you stared at him only to notice how he was already staring at you. This of course confused you, why would your neighbor just stand only to look at you? Until you remembered, the new bruise on your cheekbone was probably more evident than before. Then the memory of how it got there attacked your mind, how your parents were fighting, as usual, and how even though you were minding your own business they still managed to drag you into their fight again. Just that this time you decided not to stay quiet, not to let them drag you even more into their misery, toxicity and drama. You tried almost everything, from asking them calmly to let you out of all that, to begging them, to stupidly trying to make them calm themselves and reason, nothing worked and it only made things worse, so in your desperation you just screamed at both of them to stop all their crap and to get a fucking divorce instead of being assholes and making their lives and your own a living hell, that's more or less how it came out of your mouth. So of course your stepdad punched you on the face so hard that it threw you to the floor, dazed and pained crawling trying to make sense of what just happened, to later on literally kick you out of the house and yell you to come back only if you beg for their forgiveness as he calls you an insufrible miserable little brat while your mother allowed it and said that you deserved it, her words coming out like the poison they are and hurting you like so. The mere fast flashback almost made you throw up from the anxiety and anguish it brought. He had never done anything like this, he had threatened before, but never laid a finger on you.

You didn't give them the joy of knowing how bad this affected you, making you cry in silence, sitting on the edge of the stairwell that led to other floors, your calves and feet hanging, comforting yourself while doing your best to bring yourself to a calm state, something you've been good at for many years, and it took you some minutes, but unknown to how many there were. Then one of your coping mechanisims started acting, disassociating, daydreaming. But these happy dreams were interrupted not long after by the moment that brought you back to reality, your neighbour staring at you almost in well hidden shock.

He was planning on just walking off to his apartment, and to never think of your lovely face with such a horrible bruise marking it, but something in him just couldn't allow him to do that. He barely knew you, the only interactions you both had were kind and polite greetings whenever you bumped into each other, something you started, just being nice, but it was also something almost no one did ever.

—May I help you, sir?— you decide to ask, a bit weirded out by his intense stare, but curious at the same time

He got embarrassed once he realized of this little accident, then he looked at the door of your "home", the screams of your parents still so loud as usual, and then stared back at you again, he seemed nervous.

—Would you like some pumpkin pie?— he says softly with a shy smile

—Huh?—

—I just got some yesterday and it's really good...I'd like to share a slice or two with you— he explained, in a more normal volume for your to hear him.

—Sure...I'd like that too— you answered, a huge smile on your face now. He really is as nice and kind as he seems, you thought.

As you stood up, he was already on his door and looking for his keys in his pocket, oh he definitely was nervous and wasn't that good at hiding it.

His apartment was a bit of a mess but also a bit empty, like if he barely lived there.

He pulled you a chair and dragged it to the little table near his kitchen and offered you to sit to then later get into his kitchen so fast you couldn't even thank him properly for the seat, he already had disappeared from your view, so you just decided not to care much, and just sat, looking around his flat discretely while you waited. You did notice how even in the mess things were in "order" even though it all looked weird, probably it was ordered in his mind in a certain way «An organized mess, huh...» you thought to yourself, knowing you tend to to that from time to time as well.

Meanwhile your kind neighbour, was hiding and stalling in his kitchen, he just couldn't believe he had actually invited you over into his trashy apartment, and now it was expected that he'd talk to you, at least it's what he thought you expected, he doesn't have anything prepared in regards of what to say in these situations, specially in such a complicated and specific as this one. As he got the already cut in half pie he bought the day before, and prepared a plate, he was overthinking in what to say, how to start a casual conversation, he really sucked at this.

He finally came out after a while, with a plate with a slice of pie on it on one hand, and a cloth with ice inside it in his other hand, and left them both on the table

—Thanks— you say softly with a little smile on your face while looking at him as he sat on the other end of the table

—What's your name?— he asked a bit dryly due to his nervousnes.

He already knew it, it had been screamed numerous times by your infuriated mother and your crazy stepfather, but he wanted to pretend things weren't like that, to make you feel a bit normal and safe. So he smiled once you pronounced it, specially since he always thought it was a beautiful name.

—Well I hope you like it...the pie— stumbling a bit on his words while speaking, he started fidgeting with his fingers, a habit he's had since he was a child.

You cut a piece with the fork as you put the improvised ice pack against your cheekbone, and proceded to ear the desert. —It's delicious...thank you— you replied, a tear threatening to leave your eye, you needed this company and kindness more than you thought, realizing it almost tore you apart, it was nice for someone to finally take care of you somehow.

—What is your name?— you finally ask after a couple of minutes of pure silence.

—Edward...Edward Nashton—

—Edward...that's a cute name— your words coming out as whispered, almost as if talking to yourself, but there was the intention of him hearing you say the honest compliment.

The moment those words left your lips, dear Eddie almost choked on his own saliba, though he had the funniest and cutest expression of embarrassment on his now bright pink, almost fully red face. Against your want, you decided it was best not to tease the poor flustered man who looks like he's going to explode from the surprise your compliment gave him, so instead you just kept eating the delicious pumpkin pie, with a cheeky but really shy smile.

Edward's POV

What was that? Did you just make fun of him? Did you just give him a fake compliment?

«But why?! How could she make fun of my name?! I have been nothing but kind towards her!»

—Cute?— the bitterness he felt was expressed perfectly by his voice and tone.

His head turned and it made obvious that his stare we completely on you, and the more he looked at that beautiful face of yours, the more he convinced himself that that little "compliment" was a joke and a mock. You flattering him? HA! Yeah right, he wasn't falling for it.

—Well yeah...—you begin, your tone was relaxed and as if you were saying something obvious, but your eyes showed that hint of panic and nervousness. —I personally like your name, how it's pronounced, I like the sound of it— you finish explaining with a confused brow.

—It's just a name, and a common one— he replied, almost attacking you.

—Yeah, so? Gee man, whoever hurt you must be the scum of the Earth no doubt of that, but come on, take my honest compliment, you deserve it—

Now that is weird, he's in shock. What did you just say? He didn't know if he should be enraged or just stay confused, what could he even say to respond to such words?

What a strange and peculiar female you are. Almost like if you were a riddle yourself, now, that seems more interesting for him.

•••

He really is as weird as you thought, but you also understand life might not have been kind to him, judging by the reaction to your flattery.

—Dam, this pie really is good!— you say, knowing it would make it uncomfortable not to say anything after the state he now is in. —Where did you get it?—

—Huh?...Oh! From the store across the street— he sounded like if he was forced to come back to reality.

From there the conversation went smoothly and nicely, even though both of you weren't that good at socializing, there was something about him that made you do your very best to try. You figured how small talk didn't work on him, which was more than perfect for you as well.

Your mom and stepdad are long forgotten to you now, even with their still constant screaming with a couple of breaks. When Mr.Nashton accidentally started to rant why puzzles are good for the brain and what types of thinking they help to develop, you couldn't help but feel truly fascinated for the passion with which he spoke, how much he knows about the topic, and just how happy he looked, until he stopped to apologized for talking much, and even though you tried your best to reassure him that it was okay, he just kept quiet, but you decided to still ask him about one specific conondrum that you didn't quite understand. Your neighbour knew what you were doing, but no one had asked him to continue talking about his fixations or interests, and he couldn't say no to the cute face you put up for him.

A couple of months passed and he had adopted you somehow, since your mom and stepdad fought almost every single day, you ended at Edward's door every time, to the point that his apartment became more of a home for you than where you live at, your neighbour himself felt like a home to you. Yes he was a weirdo, filled with red flags and rare habits, and there was just something about him that didn't feel right, and as much as you tried to figure it out, you just couldn't, there were a lot of pieces missing, but you decided not to really care. It was nice to be with someone who listens to you and somehow and in his way cares. Also, it didn't take you long to aknowledge and admit to yourself that there was something strangely attractive in him and not only phisically speaking, at some point you found yourself wanting to make him laugh just so you could listen to his funny sweet giggles and see that cute smile. To add that after constantly talking to him and spending time together, even if he was doing things for his work or just couldn't pay much attention to you, he was opening more, bit by bit, taking his time and being extra careful with what he shares and says, that is obvious, but you don't mind it. Another thing you've noticed is how lately in the past two weeks you've seen him less and less, him giving you the excuse he's been working overtime, but honestly you just can't believe it, because he's also changed, like if he was slightly more confident of himself and more detached to reality than usual, dwelling too much on his thoughts to the point his body is almost the only thing left of him.

—Riddle me this...!— he started enthusiastically.

—No, Eddie! You always come up with the weirdest and most difficult riddles ever, don't torture me!— you "begged" playfully, but he did actually give you some pretty challenging riddles from time to time.

—Riddle me this...— he repeated —What does a liar do when he' dead?— he finally asked, though there was something in his voice that gave away that he really wanted you to answer this one, like if it was important somehow.

—Okay, first of all, that's a bit creepy...— you replied, and then hummed a bit as you think your answer, looking at the floor of his living room like if it had the answer. —Dam I don't know...—

—Come on, at least think—

—Hey, I am! Don't be mean!— you scolded with a cute pout. —He...lies still?— you answered with doubt after really thinking it through and remembering more or less how your friend's riddles were. You admit you ain't the best at these games, but therw is just something enjoyable about Eddie's puzzles and conondrums.

—Good...here's your reward— he praised, a bit proud of your answer. He hands you half a paper sheet as he stared at your face, as if studying and analyzing each and everyone of your expressions and facial movements.

—What's this?— Investigating and reading your reward you see how it has the same question but it had a couple of strange symbols bellow the question, and in the bottom of the page those symbols were there again, only in diffetent positions and there were more, different from the others. —What kind of reward is this, Eddie?—

Sweet and playful giggles come out of him —You tell me—

You are now truly and obviously confused.

—Just observe well, dear — he explains like if it was weird that you didn't get it, and then he just sat in front of his computer and started working on it, leaving you on purpose to solve yet another puzzle of his.

The symbols were cutious yet interesting to look at «Did he create these by himself? If he did...then he really might be a true genius...» you said to yourself, and then it suddenly came, the way some symbols were repeated on the bottom of the riddle, you connected them to your answer «So...it's his own alphabet?! Gee this guy really is something huh»

Grabbing the notebook Edward gave you for his games and challenges, you copied the symbols, all of them, and separated the letters you already had, immediately relating this to the hangman game, having only a few letters and guessing the rest until it gave you the answer, or at least an answer as closest as possible to the true message, though there were ten letters out of the twenty three «Well I guess it's enough...I mean I think it should be, if it weren't then Eddie would've put more, right? There is almost nothing he does withoutbreally thinking it through until it's perfect in his point of view».

At first you took a picture of the strange letters only, and searched them up in google images to see if you could be in luck and find something alike it, or even better, the strange alphabet itself, but unfortunately no matter how well taken the picture was, no resuslts were found, he really had created this. «Apparently there's no cheating in this one...again...a-fucking-gain!».

Since there was no other choice and you really wanted to solve this, you started by decoding the most common letters in the phrase, and you did quite a few variations until it all made sense, and from there, there was only the last step, completing it and writing it down on your friend's paper sheet.

"You are as smart as I thought"

Those words sounded in your head with his voice, making you blush. He thought of you that way before you solved this little puzzle, and he had enough faith in you to know you would solve it perfectly, he includes you into his little games and you beat him. This last fact made you feel chills running though your body, the sense of accomplishment it gave you had this effect.

Sooner than later you already found yourself standing up and going to Eddie's desk to show him your achievement. Bending over to hug him from behind while he was still sitting, working on his computer, slightly hiding the paper from him, you felt him tense a little under your touch. You raised your hand from his shoulder and showed him the paper, immediately taking it from your grasp, "accidentally" caressing your hand on the process.

—It did take you some time— he says sarcastically while looking at the paper sheet, just teasing you , but kind of not so much.—Well done! You really are as smart as I thought, dear— he finally said in a genuinely proud tone.

That little pet name he gave you, didn't come out as much, but whenever it did you knew it was special, making your heart skip a beat every time it came out of him.

—And you are a lot more creative than I thought, Eddie! This is truly amazing!— you replied honestly, hugging him a little tighter, squeezing your cheek against his. —Creating your own alphabet! It's amazing!—

—Wait, how do you know I made it?— he asked, suspecting that you tried cheating.

—Well...I guess, it's you we're talking about! Of course you had to have your own alphabet! You're all about being original and doing things your own way, and all of those things of the sort, you even create your own riddles! Plus, I do think you're smart enough to create your own alphabet, darling!— it was true, but still of course you weren't going to guve yourself away and admiting to your little and poor attempt at cheating.

Once you finished he turned his head to look at you, with his eyes almost completely closed, making very obvious he was suspicious of you. Though he was also doing his very best for his face not to end like a tomato in color, both your visages were so so close, the temptation and consuming desire of his to just get even closer to kiss your precious lips, the only ones he desires.

—What? Don't you believe me, Eddie darling?— you faked a sad tone and made a little pout, exactly what you knew could make oh dear Eddie melt and fold.

—Fine...you didn't cheat, how could you?— he said again sarcastically, and ended with a deep sigh.

Suddently and interrupting the moment, your phone's alarm went off, you grabbed it from your pocket, but still holding Edward with one of your arms, and deactivated the alarm. —Shit...It's already late. I'm sorry Eddie, but I have to go, I don't wanna beg to get into my own home yet again, to that asshole, so I'll just get going— you told him, just as you do every time when it's the hour to go. —Thanks for having me today and for letting me play another one of your games!— that honest acknowledgment ended with a deep kiss on his cheek, but was crudely cut by you releasing him from your hug and finally leaving with a —See you tomorrow!—.

Once you left completely and shut the door right behind you, Edward was still in his seat, staring blankly at his computer but without paying attention to whatever there was on it, in shock by what you just did, you've never kissed him before, there were barely hugs and that only because he wasn't that used to physical touch and it was just so rare and strange for him, it took time for him to really allow you to do so every once in a while. But this kiss, quick but sweet, it felt like heaven to him, the moment just replayed in his head, almost like if he wss figuring out if it had really happened or if it was just another one of his vivid daydreams, another one of his fantasies, but his logical mind kept telling him that it wasn't, this was real, just as real as the pain he's felt through all his life, and the struggles that have always had accompanied him.

His stare went to the little game on paper he had given you, he took it and admired it with a little smirk on his face, now his mind was somewhere else.

—Yes...she could be...— he agreed with himself outloud, his thoughts were making dangerous connections and plans, but he, in his mind, contemplated they were good and could be taken into action.

You were sitting on your couch, in your home, looking desperately for something. Your parents left to go on a date with each other to make up for whatever fight they had about last night. So after finally being able to clean your house peaceably you invited your dear friend over, and he accepted, which was a miracle since he's been so busy and absent lately you don't see him as much anymore.

—Where the fuck is that thing?— you couldn't help thinking outloud due to your frustation.

—What are you looking for?— Eddie sounds almost amused by your present state.

—The dam remote! I seriously don't understand how my sorry excuse of a stepdad leaves the tv on and with that crap channel all the dam time!—

Edward found the control remote before you and turned the tv off

—Thank you!— you exclaim relieved and end with a deep sigh.

—Why do you hate it so much, darling?—

He was getting more and more confident with the pet names, and of course you're not complaining .

—Are you kidding? The oh so goodie goodie Gotham mayor and politicians talking crap and lies all the dam time and selling them like truths, and the worst part is that people actually believe their bs, like for example my pathetic and sorry excuse of a living being that is my stepdad!—

—How...how do you know all they talk are lies? Do you know the truths behind those?— he asks, his tonw suddenly serious and difficukt to decipher the emotions and hints of thought behind them.

—Well...It's obvious, how many journalists have been disappeared or threatened with their and their families life and safety? How many tv shows and channels and entire newspapers, and comedians have been suddenly canceled and just gone for telling the truth? Why do so many news channels present scandals and "news" of the entertainment world are shown instead of the real crisis and the truly worrying things happening around the globe and even our own cities? Just to cover up that they're criminals themselves and that they protect and are of service to other criminals! Jesus! They're the guys that Batman should be taking care off the most!— there was obvious anger in your voice, not being able to hold these strong opinions any longer just made you explode, you were always forced to keep your mouth shut toward this topic since you knew it's problematic to not do so, specially surrounded by people who believed the lies media gave.

He stood next to you and looked down, staring at your face as if analyizing it, something you've become used to by now.

—Do you sometimes feel like if there was something you could do about it?— he was serious, but also maskong whatever other feelings or hints of thought there were behind his question.

—Well yeah...I mean I wish I could do something, but I have family and people I care about, and, surprisingly, I do wanna keep living and with no problems—

His hand went towards your face to stoke your cheek softly while studying your eyes, like if searching the most minimal lie in these, but he didn't find any. Your heart beat rising and your face blushing as concequence of his most recent actions.

—There is always a way to get things done, dear—

—What do you mean?—

—Exactly what I just said...—

His hand left your face and then he proceded to stare at the window, like if nothing had happened

«WHAT THE HELL DUDE?! First he does that little stunt on me and he says that weird shit and then he acts this way! And he didn't even kiss me nor did he at least explain what he really meant?! The fuck!» you thought again frustrated, it's impossible to express how much you've longed for his sweet lips for various things.

—Hey your mom needs you to go to the store— he said simply as he passed you your phone after it recieving a note.

—Huh? What?— you say as if coming back to Earth from your thoughts. —Oh...okay, I'll go now, it'll be quick, if you want you can stay here, I won't be long!— you say checking your phone and standing up.

—Sure, I'll stay—

You give him a quick kiss on his cheek for the first time after the other one you gave him in his flat, and left.

Edward's POV

As soon as your frame walked past the door, he started to roam around your place, even after all these months of knowing you, it's his first time here. He always imagined this place as an absolute mess, even worse than his in the flat next to yours, but just because of your parents, and it kinda was, but you did a very good job cleaning it. As you should like a good girl.

Once he located your room, which wasn't that difficult, he let himself in without thinking twice. It was a bit messy not even your bed was made, but it wasn't that bad, he touched some of the things while looking, and leaving then in the exact position as they were before. He finally layed on your bed, stomach down, as he smelled your pillows and moaning at your scent, no fragances nor perfumes, just your smell and your shampoo's. He inhaled as much as he could of it, like a drug, and it was for him. He sighed while calling out your name in a whisper, feeling a slight uncomfort within his pants, like if they were tighter, his breathing became uneasy and his mind was suddenly being attacked by those fantasies he had every night after a long day. He couldn't think straight anymore, he just acted, quickly going through your dirty clothes and finding a pair of your panties, and bringing it to his face, inhaling deeply again, as he stroked his clothed hard on, gaining another moan from him, laying now on his back but his head turned so he could never stop inhaling your scent from your pillows. He regreted not breaking into your room before wishing he hadn't been so busy with his life and the secret one.

The recent memory of you sitting on your couch while he stroke your cheek as you looked up to him, opening your eyes wide in surprise, and your slightly parted lips, judging by the natural movements of your chest your breathing was uneasy, it all repeated in his mind like if it was happening now. He unbuckels his belt and pants, freeing his deviously strained cock, spitting on his hand and putting the wet spot on the tip of his dick, letting his saliba slide slowly through his length. Fantasizing about how instead of turning around and looking through the window, he'd forced you to make him hard through his clothes with your hands, or by rubbing your cheeks and lips against him, to later then make you choke on his length, with tears running through your cheeks unitl they met your chin.

He really wanted to enjoy this time he had in your room with your things with your smell and escence, so he started teasing himself, slowly to the point it was painful and made him desperate, whimpering and panting pathetically, grunting once he allowed himself to fuck his fist properly.

So close to his high, with drops of precum mixed with his spit, moving his hips slowly, he heard steps coming from were the main door area and the sound of keys. Adrenaline and panic filled his veins making him stand up faster than he's ever done, hiding his hard on in his clothes and buckling his belt, accomodating your sheets and pillows as best as possible as how he more or less remembered they were before he did anything, then he ran quietly to the living room where you left him, putting your dirty panties on his jacket's pocket and pulled out his phone to pretend he was doing something normal.

You opened the door with a bit of the struggle, with all the things on your arms and battling with your keys —Hey man, I'm back!— you announced as if it wasn't obvious.

He went immediately to help you with the grocieries. —Wow...that really was fast!— he said trying to hide his persistent panic.

—Yup, I told you!— you say while closing and locking your door. —Hey, Ed, you okay?—

—Uh...sure, why do you ask?— he answers nervously, afraid that he was being more obvious than he thought.

—Well...you just look a bit spoked or something, you sure you're fine?— the concern in your voice was genuine.

—Yeah, it's just that I got a message from work that my most recent paperwork had an error, and I'll have to go in later to check it— he has always been good at giving believable excuses and lies, so this time wasn't an exception.

—Oh I see...so, do you have to go now or will I have you for a little more time?—

—It's better I go now, or else I'll come back home a lot later— he said with regret, as much as he would like to spend more time with you, he does have a lot to work on and hiding his little "accident" is becoming more difficult.

—Aw that's not fair! You barely got here!— you complain but not in a completely serious manner. You proceded to wrap your arms around his nape and gave him another kiss on his cheek. —You have a good day and I hope things turn out well for you, Eddie dear!—

—Yeah...thank you— he says with a small voice, struggling to look at your eyes, but slowly hugging you back and stopping once he realized this would be a horrible mistake, so his hands just held your waist. —I really have to go— his voice sounded like if he was choking, like if air was barely going through his lungs. Finally he just released you from his grasp, as you had to do the same since he was already moving towards the door to leave.

•••

«I really messed up this time right?...Did I go to far? No! How can that be, it's not the first time I've kissed or hugged him like this. But then, what was it? Maybe he just didn't like the combination...gosh I was so stupid! How could I ever even dare to something like that!! How could I be so impulsive? No, no, NO!! I cannot lose him! But how am I gonna fix this shitty mess I just created?!» you scold yourself, in regret. You feel a void in your chest, the worry the thought of you making him feel weird or uncomfortable is a weight you never thought you'd have. He was the only person that really cared for you, the only one that listened to you, you couldn't just allow yourself to just let him go for anything.

Later that day, after your mother arrived with her dearest, both of them finally happy for a change, you decided to wait outside, sitting on the edge of the stairwell, with your calves and feet hanging, making you remember this is how you first truly met Edward, this is how everything started, the day he saved you, redeemed you from your reality of pure misery, from the pits of hell you were stuck in like the angel he is.

You can't tell with certainty how long you waited, specially since you didn't dare to look at least once at your phone's clock in order to not help your anxiety increase even more. There aren't any windows on any of the hallways of the floors in your building, except for the first one, you could watch as the reddish orange light of the setting sun disappear slowly on the bottom of the staircase for then to be replaced by the artificial and depressing white light that did it's best to accomplish the purpose of the sun. Your surroundings were peaceful enough that you could've fallen asleep if it weren't for your persisting fear and anticipation.

A shadow darkens as much as it can the floor, the 1st floor, it moves towards the stairs until the figure that creates it is visible, tall, brown hair, blue jacket, with just these characteristics you are able to recognize who it is. Your heart skips a beat at the realization and acceptance that indeed, he really is here and you just stand up, your body just reacting at the adrenaline your emotional state is helping to produce. «What the hell am I supposed to do know?!» this is the only thought going throug your mind, and it repeats itself in panic over and over as you pace without direction like a headless chicken, not deciding if to stay, sit again, get inside your flat or wait at his door. His footsteps sound closer than they really are, so they force you to make a decision and you end up locking yourself in your apartment as silent and stealthy as you possibly can, allowing yourself to breathe only until you heard him get inside his home, which made you feel impressed about how long you were able to hold your breath, specially since time felt like if it went ten times slower. «Oh great! What now?! What's the next plan of your wonderful and brilliant plan, huh genius?!» oh yeah, your old friend Anxiety was screaming at you again using the voice of your conscience.

Exactly thirty minutes later you gained a fifth part of the courage you needed for what is necessary to do. «Come on girl, what else do you got to lose, huh? Just go on and knock it ain't gonna kill you, it might as well even help and make things better with Eddie! You know the guy can be patient and understanding, if you explain he might actually forgive your stupidity!» those are the most positive words you've told yourself all day, and it kind of helped you give those three quick consecutive knocks at his door. Not even a minute passed when that same door was opened, being greeted by Edward's face, with a happy smile and even happier eyes, you couldn't help but think to yourself how cute and adorable he looked like that.

—Hi Eddie, can I come in? There's something I wanna talk about with you— you ask almost in a whisper.

—Sure! I also want to talk with you— he answers with a hint of excitment in his voice, moving over and behind his door as he opens it more letting you inside his apartment, and closing the door behind you.

—Oh...what do you want to talk about?—

—I'll tell you after you tell me what you want to discuss first!—

—Oh no, please you go first—

—You know I'm never going to say a thing unless you go first— he was more than serious, not to mention he has proven his words before.

—Okay okay fine! It's just that...look, I just wanted to apologize— you words came out shaking, almost whispered. Feeling your heart in your throat, you look like a scared dog avoiding it's owners stare after they messed up the living room and destroyed the sofa.

—What for, darling?—

—For earlier, I made you uncomfortable by just, y'know, touching and hugging you like I did earlier before you left...I'm sorry, I really am—

—What? Why would you think that?— you could say he even sounded offended by that

—Well...you seemed so nervous and acted so weird I thought you were mad at me— tears threatening to escape your eyes.

—Oh that...well then I'm sorry for leaving you with those ideas, I was just in a hurry, but I wasn't mad at you— he says with a little smile, his stare made you think he was remembering or imagining something. He got closer to you and lifted your chin softly with his thumb and index. —Now come with me, I got something to show you.— he continues with a little smile, that smirk that even though he had a hard time admiting it, he knows you like so much.

Without even waiting for your answer he took your wrist with his hand and almost dragged you outside, you asked where were you going but he just gave you a confident wink, something he did for the first time. Now that you recall, he's never been this "cocky" before, at least not with you, it feels as if he was showing another part of him, something unkown he locks within just for himself. As you walked beside him he had his head up and his back straightened up, another first. These constant surprises, adding with the anticipation and growimg curiosity of where he was taking you just removed the inmense sadness and anguish you provoked yourself all day long, making yoy realize just how important and special he really is, how the moment he started talking to you, everything just went better, he really was a home to you, your heaven.

During the walk, your wrist was never released from his gentle but firm wrip.

«The fuck are we doing around the Iceberg Lounge? He a party boy or something? Nah I mean look at the guy!! Well...to be fair he's been full of surprises lately» you monologued in your head, confused as you recognized the area and it's little fame. But instead you went into this not so known building, unknown enough that you didn't ever bothered to know it's name nor what it's purpose was. It was a rather tacky place, yet better than going into the Iceberg Lounge.

After going up the million stairs since the elevator seemed and sounded too crappy to be considered safe to be in, you found yourselves walking down an aisle, but your mind started to wonder, since this seemed like it was an aparment building or at least a very shitty hotel, which were common in certain areas, but the one idea that came into your mind and started to worry you was that maybe he was going to introduce you to someone, what else could it be?

—We're here— he said in a very difficult to decipher tone, he seemed nervous, even slightly regretful, but at the same happy and anxious in a good way. He called your name in a sweet and soft voice, he wanted to say so many things, but none managed to come out of his lips, not even as whispers. Embarrassed by this he just scoffed a little —Nevermind— and proceded to open the door, the last one in the corridor, letting you go inside first. There were just dim lights in the room, like lamps, but they were bright enough to allow you to see the whole room, to that the city lights that came from the street illuminating the room as well through the windows.

The more you walk inside the more worried and distressed you get, it looked similar to John Doe's room in that movie Se7en, just smaller and with the lack of religious figures, and that was basically about it. In all the madness this place was something in particular caught your attention, a wall with a desk against it, the wall filled with pictures and newspaper clips and titles from front pages, a lot of famous faces but with a title writen by hand stood out "THE TRUTH ABOUT GOTHAM". You felt your heart in your throat, a pit in your stomach with worry and your instinct telling you to get out of there as you looked closely how the peoples eyes were crossed from every picture, and how the smell and disaster of the room was just repulsive but bereable. The hints of dirt and bleach in the air made you feel sick. You felt so scared that you just turned around and aimed to the door expecting to get out, run out of there but instead Edward caught you the moment your whole body made that 180° turn, hugging you from your waist with your arms trapped as well.

—Where do you think you're going little dove?— it was that same sweet voice and tone he used to call your name a minute ago, but this time it didn't make you blush nor feel buterflies in your stomach, no, this time it made you panic, the fear making every limb in your body tingle with the adrenaline it needed to run as fast as humanly possible for kilometers and not get tired no matter in what physical condition, unfortunately you entered in a state of tonic immobilty, you could barely find yourself talking

—What's all this?— your voice barely coming out

—I cracked the code darling, I did find a way of giving all of those people what they deserve without anything bad happening to the one love— he replies finishing with a little giggle, that sound he made that you would've loved and provoked in other circumstances.

—What have you done?—

—Oh nothing yet, but we are going to do huge things that will change many important things in Gotham—

—What things?— you whispered, a tear running down your cheek

—Oh don't be scared my dear, we will only be unmasking the truth and let the people of Gotham see it all, make them see what really happens here— he answers in the most calming tone, licking thentear that had already found it's way on your chin, about to fall. —You did say you would do something as long as it didn't get yourself nor your family or loved ones hurt, right?—

—I did—

—Then there you go! You can do something, be the very change the city needs. Imagine it! The two of us working my plan out, the only and necessary plan to make things better, to really make a change— the passion and enthusiasm flooding his senses so much that his voice was the worst in hiding it, not that he had intended to do so anyways. —My sweetest, my love, please, I wouldn't ask this of you if I didn't love you the way I do, please join me, be part of this with me— his hold only becomes tighter. His eyes express it all, his madness, his sickness, his delusion as well as his obsession, admiration and his twisted form of love towards you.

—Oh Eddie I-...I would love to, but I don't think I could be capable of doing things as well as you do, and...and— you trip over your own words, finding it difficult to even chose which ones to use, you love him so much, but this seems very dangerous, and his obsession terrifies you so.

—No, no my darling, you are exactly who I need, you are smart and intelligent, creative, ingenious, and you have so much potential waiting to be set free, to have a mission. Please, do this with me, I wouldn't ask you if I didn't deemed you capable—

You really don't want you, but you are in the position were you don't see that denying him is a good possibility, or one at all, you love him and are scared to be left behind by someone as important as him, he crawled into your heart and earned your appreciation, respect and love like no one else has, he showed you that you are worthy of affection and attention, that you deserve honesty and so many marvelous things from people. And right now he's proving you exactly the contrary from what your insecurities made you belive, he does love you, and so much that he's even showing you this side of him, what he managed to hide from everyone.

—Fine...I will, I'll do it, just for you Eddie— you say giving in and against your gut and logical thinking, you felt as if you just betrayed yourself.

He couldn't help himself and just kissed you without any warning that he'd do so, taking you by surprise, it was sloppy and you could feel his nervousness by the way he kissed, no matter your fear you still managed to reciprocrate it, after all is what you have wanted for a while, and still desire, right?

As the time passed everything seemed normal, even in the abnormal situation you are stuck in, you did fairly easy things, you sometimes had to check out the window and look for certain people and write down the patterns you found in what they usually did, if they stayed for long and how much time they spent, if they were stoned or drunk or both, if they called a cab or drove, who they were accompanied by, eventually after Edward figuerd where they lived it was up to you to search for the building plans of their houses, which by the way, were almost impossible to find to the point you both had to search for them. You also passed his code/alphabet to a digital format so they could be printed. But something just felt wrong when he started buying rats and cages, and he started crafting weird boxes conected by plastic tubes, making them so they could fit into a manikin of his, but specially when you helped him make this sort of weird metal collar that seemed more like a cage to hold something within. It gave you chills from just imagining what they were most likely for. Whenever you asked what their purpose was, he just gave a quick giggle followed by a —You'll see my little dove, just wait and you'll see—, this of course only scared you more.

You cannot deny yourself that even though it still terrifies you the fact that you don't know much about the whole plan he has nor what he's capable of doing, you have been happy enough, specially when you are together in his other place, crafting whatever he wants to make, since it also makes him so happy and loves watching you work.

Yes it was all nice and loving usually, but things started to be more and more obvious of what he was truly planning and it was a constant fight between what your brain was telling you was going on and your heart crying out that he just couldn't be that type of person, your theory was just too much to bear, but you had enough with the uncertanties, you needed real proof instead of just hypothesis, so one night, as you were leaving, closing the windows you decided to leave the one next to the fire escape unlocked and lied to Edward's face that you did close everything right. And went back to your respective flats, after all Eddie did have work later. Meanwhile you had to do some chores but much later, after all you mother believes that you go out so night to work at a convenience store far from home, so you don't really have to go to work at least yet.

<?>

Later that day, late in the afternoon, once you finished everything in your task list you went back to your "HQ", going up through the fire escape staircase and entering through the window you left unlocked earlier, he has the only set of keys so this was necessary.

You go towards his desk and open one of his diaries the one he was using currently, something you had strictly forbidden, he never even let you touch them, and since you know how he would notice if you touched anything, you made sure that the little notebook didn't move a single millimeter in any direction, and you didn't touch it directly with yiur hands you used the tweezers you work with when you help him and you cover your other hand with the hem of your shirt so you can make presure and it doesn't move while opening it. Looking through it without really reading it, until you found a particular page with drawings of a face with a box on it, or faces with tubes all around it, some "intructions" written over and over again to the point some words piled up against others, but you did read them, it explained how the rats are supposed to be inside the tubes while the person is wearing that thing. And as you advanced in his little diary you only confirmed the theories you had, but not only that, you saw that his plan was far beyond more horrible what you could imagine a human being capable of doing to someone else, this is the masterpiece of a monster, a real and extremely dangerous threat to everyone.

—How could I be so stupid?— you say in a soft sob. You were destroyed, you've been helping someone become one of the biggest murderers ever, you were helping him plan and commit terrorism in the future. You really should have listened to your gut for the first time and let the obvious clues he left give you the answer before really getting into trouble.

—Indeed my darling, how could you be so stupid? Doing exactly the one thing you are not allowed to do— a deep voice came from behind you, a muffeled but close voice.

You scream once the voice's owner is in your sight when you turn around, your legs become weak and can barely keep you standing. It was a man multiple green jackets on, black pants and boots, but what made him scarier was that green military mask against extrene cold but those familiar glasses on top of it, and white question mark painted on the jacket.

—Eddie?—

—Oh little dove, please do explain what were you doing— his voice only gets more intimidating by how he modifies it naturally.

—N-no! You explain!— you were already keen to play tough in situations were you are scared the most as you have proven yourself previously with your steo fathee, so this isn't an exception and it might save you from him if you keep him taking about something else.

He only tilts his head slightly as if wondering what you're talking about.

—Yes you explain why you have been using me so you can play terrorist, huh! Why you lied about spreading justice to Gotham and showing it's true colors to the people and expose the rich fuckers! When this is clearly more than all of that! You could've just told me you wanted revenge for whatever reason you might have with them, because this ain't justice from knowhere! Don't you bullshit me!— your voice breaking, trying your best not to scream at him, though your tone was challenging and firm enough.

—What are you talking about?— anger rises in him, and the breathing through his mask becomes more agitated and heavy.

—Oh what am I talking about? Oh let me catch you up in your own crap! You wanting to flood Gotham by bombing it, blowing the head off of the DA if he doesn't answer your riddles on time while live streaming, letting the comisioner get his face eaten by your fucking rats, killing the mayor with the final piece for you adored Batman to use it to discover what we carved on the floor beneath the carpet! Killing Bruce Wayne for something his father did, not him, his father! Are you joking?! Where the hell is justice in there, yeah maybe killing Falcone might be it, and a big maybe, but the rest is terrorism that's just plain obvious!— panic was making your mouth move faster than your brain, something that never ended well, but you couldn't help it, right now you're doing everything to avoid the fact that you were lurking into his diaries without his consent, but also, you need to confront him about this, what he did and is planning to do is much worse than what you did.

—What is wrong with you? How is it that you became so blind?— he sounds almost heart broken

—I don't think I'm the blind here! You wanna play terrorist and be the big man when we both know that deep inside you are just a scared little child in the body of a man pretending to be a hero instead of putting his shit together, go to therapy and make himself a nice and happy normal life or something!— you are screaming now but lauging at the same time as you speak, laughing to avoud crying, but he doesn't percive it as such.

Not a second passes after you finish pronouncing that last word when he slaps you across the face so hard that you even lost your balance, taking advantage of this he pushes you with such force that your body lies flat on the floor, back against it. It all happened so quickly that you weren't able to process it, it felt like even though it was all very obvious you didn't have a clue of what was happening. Before you know it he's straddling you, sitting on your hips, his hands surrounding your throat and squeezing it tight, choking you, you fight and kick and try to scratch him or at least hurt him but it was all useless.

—I saved you, I gave you a better life, I gave you everything, and this is what I get from you? Ungrateful little slut, you owe me your life and your devotion!—

Eventually you stop fighting, you pass out due to the lack of oxygen but it doesn't kill you.

<?>

Something wakes you up, a cold and chilling breeze against your skin and a white light pointing directly at your face, you moan weakly for the light is too bright and it hurts your eyes.

—Wake up darling, it's very late already sleepyhead!— a soft voice speaks with a loving tone.

—What?— you mumble in response, a pain in your neck and face make presence, reminding you of what happened before you blacked out. But it makes no sense, that pain, but that sweet voice you recognize so well, was it all just a bad dream?.

You try to move your arms but you can't much, as if something was holding your wrists together, something that was also pulling the little hairs of your skin. This made you open your eyes finally, only to look at yourself lying on the cold floor, your wrists tied together with gray duct tape in front of your half naked body, resting on your bare abdomen. When you lift your face to look at him, he's still dressed like before when he caught you, the fear his little outfit provoked in you woke you up fully.

You tried getting away from him, but you found out how your ankles were also tied up but not together, in fact they were separated from each other and attatched to the floor but by the angle you're in you can't really know with what.

—Now where do you think you're going? Well...nowhere really— he says mockingly between giggles as he caresses your head softly with his gloved hand.

—What do you want from me you monster?— you scream sobbing, tears running down your cheeks.

—Nothing, however I do want to give you something. An opportunity—

—For what?—

—For you to repent for your actions and mindless words from earlier today—

—No! You betrayed, manipulated and lied to me!—

—I'm giving you a chance, no one ever gave me a chance, it would be such a shame if you had to learn your lesson the hard way— he says almost amused. His hand now makes way through your shoulders and your chest, groping your breasts and squeezing them without being too rough.

—Get your filthy hands off of me!—

—No! You don't give orders here! You have to be corrected after what you did! I will make you regret talikg to me like that, you are only receiving what you deserve— he screams at you while his fingers manage to pinch one of your nipples through your bra.

You try to shove his hands off with your forearm but the only thing you win from your struggle is another slap from him. He's quick and puts your tied wrists right on top of your head and against the floor, dragging the stool where he usually sits when he's working on his desk and positions one of it's legs in the space inside your arms, finally he puts one of the boxes filled with heavy material on the stool making it impossible to escape.

—Everything was going perfectly, exactly how it was supposed to, why did you have to ruin things?— he sounds heartbroken again, betrayed even. —You are making me do all this, just look at you, all I needed so you could stay put, putting up a fight like if you were strong and tough, and for a moment I almost believed it, but I know you women are all the same, when in reality you will just let your slutty self be, won't you?—

—No! Just let me go! You don't know what you're doing and there's no reason at all for you to do this so stop it!— you say almost begging.

—Oh but I do! And yes, there is a reason for all this, you see...apparently you don't know your place and you don't know how to follow simple rules, so I am going to correct it, make you learn these things so well that you will never want to commit those mistakes again, it's all for your good, darling— he explains simply, and though it's not visible, his smile can be heard forming within his mask. Both of his hands run through your torso, caressing and enjoying everything he can touch. —Stop squirming, you're only making things harder for yourself— he scolds though he can't deny that the sight of you still trying to fight, squirming, is enjoyable, it makes him want to force you so succumb to him, to have complete power over you once again, but this time he won't lose it. The more you beg him to stop and how you try to negociate with him and give false promises is so pathetic that it only arouses him, specially since he has fantasized about this type of scenario with you multiple times and every single time he has fucked his fist to the thought while smelling the underwear he stole from your bedroom.

Two of his fingers rub against your clothed cunt making slightly more pressure in the area where your clit is and the whimper it provokes from you is better than anything he had ever imagined.

—No please stop it! I'm so sorry for all the trouble I did and all the things I said, I really am so sorry, please forgive me!— you beg in a soft sob, trying to put aside the sensations your body is feeling.

—Oh you are sorry? After all of that fight now you say sorry? I don't think you mean it darling, you are too late— he makes aside the part of your panties covering your slit and slides a finger along your pussy, you are just wet enough to make it easy for him. His stare is centered just in your privates, paying close attention to what he sees and what he does and how he does it.

He knows where to touch, but he is sloppy with his movements, making circles around your clit and touching it a few times on accident, unfortunately for you, those little accidents made you wail with pleasure, feeling guitly on how your body betrayed you.

He likes it when you mewl due to the pelasure he gives you, he loves even more how you try so hard to not make them, maybe for his own pleasure he could force more of those beautiful sounds out of you, so he ends up giving your body what it feels it needs, he moves his gloved finger up and down through your cunt rubbing your clit directly, variating on the speed every now and then, and just when he notives how your thighs tense and your toes curl he stops. The moan of disappointment you try to contain is bloss to his ears.

—Look at you, you really are such a pathetic little slut! But here the best part is...that you're mine, my own slut.— his laughs only embarrass you more, your humilliation increasing to the sincere disappointment you felt when he stopped.

—Now say it...say what you are—

—No...— you reply weakly

—No?— there is anger in his voice, he thought you were finally getting somewhere. He slaps your clit with three of his fingers, it wasn't a hard slap since he didn't want to really hurt you but it certaintly sounded like it. —Are you sure?— he says a bit satisfied by the groan you let out.

—I said no!—

He slaps your clit enough times until you stop trying to contain your moans, until you can't control them anymore. He stops only to slide two of his fingers inside you, hurting you in the process and if it weren't because of how wet you are, it would've been even more painful. His fingertips touching and pushing your cervix lightly once his fingers were completely inside you. He doesn't want to hurt you really, on the contrary, he wants you to feel good against your will, so instead of pulling them out, he curls them inside you until he finds that sweet spot of yours. He's still sloppy but he's also a fast learner, making him miss a couple of times, but making your body feel incredible, and making you, your conscious self feel worse but more willing to do and say anything for him to stop this torture.

—Please! I'm sorry I really am, please forgive me, please stop! I am your pathetic little slut! There I said it now please leave me alone!—

—Hmmm I'm not so convinced...— he says in a little giggle.

—I am a pathetic little slut just for you because I'm yours and...and I'm so sorry I said all those horrible things and spied on you! I am very sorry and I regret it! Please! I promise to be good! Please Eddie! Please!— you beg almost screaming yet finding it hard to form the words in your mouth and pronounce them correctly. But instead of stopping he only increased the speed at which his fingers moved, hitting your sweet spot, forcing you to repeat your "speach" but a bit different or with other words each time, but he continued until you came undone, arching your back and your thighs almost cramping for how intense the orgasm is, groaning a little —Please— as you squirted accidentally his hand. You were so lost in your sadness and emotional pain, and the pleasure that you couldn't control it nor did you know it would happen.

You try to catch your breath as your body relaxes, his fingers finally pulling away, your eyes shut tight like if it would make the world disappear. He looks at his glove fascinated and surprised, he didn't expect you to squirt, but he couldn't be happier about it. His hard on is hurting him now, he desperately needs to relieve himself, but not now, not when he's not done with you yet.

After really figuring it out, he gave you one orgasm after another in multiple ways, just fascinated by the way your body reacted to different stimulus, it was almost like if he was experimenting with you, until you really couldn't anymore, until your body was shivering, until you softly whispered asking him to stop and your eyes closed, passing out. He panicked for a moment until he confirmed you were still alive, he just didn't know that could happen.

<?>

You are waken up by a light again, but this time it's the soft light of dawn shining through all the room yet not hitting you directly. It's not your room nor Edward's "HQ", it's his appartment, his room. The memories of everything that happened to you attack your mind and wake you up completely, feeling the adrenaline run through your veins, sitting up in the bed in alert and your breathing shaky and irregular but heavy.

—Woah! What's wrong?— he asks amused

You immediately turn your head to search where he's at and you find him standing near the corner of the bed. The memories of yesterday advice you to stay still and not say a word, your eyes start crying but your face stays expressionless, and your heart racing faster when he walks around the bed until he's on your side right next to you and his index and thumb caress your chin and lift your face softly.

—What's wrong? Why do you cry darling?— he continues with a little grin on his face. —Please tell me—

—I...I remember what you did to me...I remember it all— your voice is raspy from all the screaming you did yesterday, making it hurtful to speak.

—Good! You'll need to remember it in case you plan on commiting certain mistakes again, but...it seems like you did learn your lesson, didn't you, darling?— he hisses the pet name menacingly.

—I did...— you whisper in order to keeo your voice from more damage. —I accepted your punishment...but you still need to explain why you're going to murder those people— the moment you say it you regret it but you don't back down.

He sighs and seats in front of you, taking your hands and resting them on his palms.

He spent a really long while explaining things to you, repeating himself over and over again but telling things in such way that they made sense after repeating them long enough, he also explained how much they all damaged him and how, everything they've done and how much they poison Gotham with their mere existance, that there is no other way for these people to learn and act otherwise, the only way to take their power away is by killing them and getting rid of everything from the roots, like a poisonous plant that becomes a plague and invasive species that kills other plants, trees, and animals. Work by word, and every point he proved, the more he managed to convince you until you were sure that his way was THE way to get things done. He was willing to truly change the city, to do what Batman doesn't dare to do, the reason why he's failed so far in making a difference.

He did it, he changed your point of view on things, your morals, he changed you.

It was mid october, soon the plan you've been working on will be taken into action, everything was already prepared and finished, four hands work faster than just two. But your part in this is over, he made it clear he didn't want you to get involved in the crime scenes nor anything thst gets public, and he wants nothing to link you to him nor his Riddler persona. It wasn't safe and it would take so many things from you, you still have a whole future ahead of you, an opportunity, a chance in life, something that was ripped away from him, something that he will not take from you. All the times the topic came up you ended up saddened by the thought of him locked up in Blackgate, or well...most likely in Arkham Asylum, scared by what might happen to him or what inmates or patients could do to him, but he always asured you he'd be fine, and joked how you could at least give him a visit once a week, to which you agreed seriously every time.

As the days pass, the more time you spend with him to the point you even wait for him near where he works once he's done, and the more and more excuses you tell your mother so she believes you're doing something productive and allows you to go out without curfews nor problems.

In these weeks you finally have normal dates with him, it was almost like if you were a normal couple instead of lovers partners in crime. Such sweet moments you shared that they almost made you forget how what he did to you months ago made you feel.

<?>

It's October 30th, the last day he'd allow for you to see eachother, he didn't want to risk anything and all the evidence that you were ever in his Riddler HQ was finally erased completely.

It was already pretty late at night and you were about to go to sleep, he did want to rest earlier to make sure he'd be at his best for tomorrow. You were looking for a jacket of your you'd forgot days ago and finally remembered it even existed when you came across a coat of his, it had a black question mark painted on the same side as his Riddler jacket and almost as big.

—Hey Eddie what's this?— you ask as you get it out with it's hook still holding it.

—What? Oh...that!— he looked a bit scared and sounded nervous. —It's the first piece of clothing I personalized for my outfit. I completely forgot it was there, how could I?!— he answes panicked. —I should get rid of it—

—Or...I could wear it and be with you and help you! Except for when it's time for the give-yourself-in part of the plan!— you add expectant, hugging the coat tightly.

—Ha ha very funny— he replies sarcastically.

—I mean it could work. I'll use the same safety measures you'll use to avoid leaving evidence behind at the scene of the crime! Just think about it, please?—

He walks toward you until there's almost no space between your bodies, grabbing both sides of ypur face with his hands, lifting it slightly and staring into your eyes. —No...you already helped enough, you did everything I asked of you perfectly. This is the one thing I will do on my own, it's me the one who's really willing to take a life in cold blood, it's what they owe me, not you, remember that.—

—Alright I get it, you're right— you sigh in defeat. —But can I at least keep it? The police won't have a reason to even steo foot inside my apartment!—

—Sure, but of they do you throw it right away, understood?—

—Yes sir!— you say jokingly but you reach to give him a short kiss to reasure him that you would.

However you did have it all planned out, if the police ever found out about your relationship with him you both already predicted what you'd say and what to answer to all the possible questions they'd ask, Eddie even taught you how to cheat the polygraph test just in case, so yeah you were all good.

—Well can I see it on you?—

He scofs in response but does take his blue jacket to put the coat on anyways. It looked really good on him yet you could understand why he chose the second one, it wasn't scary enough nor that practical. He looks checks himself out without using a mirror and then looks at you waiting for an answer.

—Well it looks really good on you but y'know, it's not "Riddler" enough and it surely you don't look as comfortable as you do in your other outfit.—

He smiled at your comment and proceded to sit on the edge of the bed.

—However you still look very handsome in it—

He blushes and looks away, trying to hide the huge smile that forms in his face. «Is this the man that's going to commit such crimes? Is this who did that to me?» it's what you asked yourself, failing to give yourself an accurate answer.

You sit next to him and lie on your side, resting your head on his lap, sad that this isnmost likely to be the last time you can be like this with him, in a safe space and him having you all to himself.

He separates his legs to slide an arm under you and pick you up to carry your torso, his other arm surrounding your waist and supporting you as well.

—I will miss this...— he says sincerely.

—I will too...maybe so much it'll drive me crazy— you admit.

—I don't think so, you'll be alright darling—

—You don't know that, I was so alone without you and I've become used to you, you are part of me Eddie! Don't you see how much you mean to me?—

He's astonished by your words and doesn't find himself word for you.

—Just remember how imprtant you are to me...okay?—

He nods silently, hugs you tighter as of you were to disappear if he didn't, and kisses you like it was the last time he'd ever see you. You caress the back of his head, pulling him closee to you, tears forming in your eyes. He stops for a second and his mouth find your neck and start kissing there instead, tickling you.

—Hey! What are you doing?— you ask between giggles.

He remains silent, you feel how he starts sucking the skin of your neck, the slight pain makes you nervous and he can notice your uneseaness but it doesn't stop him, he keeps going and makes little stops only to go to another piece of your skin around the same area, he's definitely marking you.

As you started to feel aroused by this you also start to feel more nervous and even scared, the last time you felt like this around him was when he "corrected you", since then he didn't even try a thing. He knew how you'd feel if he did, but since today's your last day together he hopes you let him do it.

When he's "done" he stares at your face, your expression says it all. After this your mind shuts down somehow, you perceive everything that happens but you can't really move, it's like when he let you into his other place for the first time, how you wanted to run and escape him but you just couldn't no matter how hard you tried and barely being able to talk.

He smiles, pleased. He knows you're completely his and that there's nothing to stop him from what he'll do.

—Don't be scared my darling, I don't want to hurt you, I just want to have a good last moment with you, will you let me?— he asks while stroking your cheek.

You're fighting against yourself but those words put you in the position where you feel the need to push the memories he made in you and what it made you feel and the defense mechanisms he created thanks to what he did away and do everything to make you spill out the one word he wants to hear —Yes—.

<?>

It all happened so slowly, the whole moment was like if you were never going to get out of it, all the sensations he provoked and the reactions your body had felt pleasurable, but scary at the same time, guilt taking away the emotional and mental pleasure from the act, even though now he was treating you with true and "romantic" passion and, we could even say, with love and affection, he was considerate and cared about your pleasure yet you just can't enjoy it completely.

It was early in the morning and the sun is comign up, you couldn't sleep all night and watched the sun come up, your mind blank but repeating one of your favourite songs over and over again until you heard him wake up. You look at him and still don't believe what happened last night, you feel it's all on you after all he was so nice and caring with you. You turn to hug him from behind and kiss the back of his neck, asking for his forgiveness in your head.

After he woke up completely which didn't takenlong, you had a little breakfast and pretended to be happier than ever, and as if you didn't feel uncomfortable on your own skin. You did enjoy these very last moments with him but contrary to last night it all passed so quickly and before you knew it you were both in the hall, near the stairwell were you first met, giving each other one last and truly beautiful kiss

—You say hi to Batman for me, okay?— you say with a little smile.

—Sure thing!— he smiles back, it was that smile that made you fall in love with him time ago, genuine and almost like a little kids.

—Good luck and you give them what they deserve, okay?—

—Of course...but you do come and visit me!—

—You know I will...you know I will always go back to you—

[newtonsheffield]

Sorry it was the Met and it’s currently London Fashion Week and all I can see is Supportive boyfriend Goose winning the hearts of High Fashion twitter by being their for Eddie. like holding the train of her dress on the steps or smth . Can you imagine the adorableness? Just Kate, Anthony and Goose sat in the front row while Ed walks down.

Ohhhh Supportive Boyfriend Goose is his natural form tbh.

And I feel like London Fashion week would be Edwina's big event of the year, and the world kind of knows that Edwina Sheffield is dating a normalo but he's never appeared at any of her public events really and what no one knows is Matthew Goose Bagwell, put a ring on it a few days before the biggest week of Edwina's year!

"You really, really don't have to come with me." Edwina had said gently, her fingers pushing his hair back from his eyes as they lay in bed together, the New York skyline stretched out through the window behind him.

"Mmmm Yes, I do." He hummed, his heart hammering away just like it always did in her presence. "Because if I don't who, pray tell, is going to make sure you can move around in that dress."

Edwina rolled her eyes, though her smile was still so beautiful it made his chest ache, "It's actually kind of my job to move around in ridiculous outfits would you believe?"

Matthew let out a faux gasp, "It never is!" He could feel the cool metal of her engagement ring on the side of his face, still a little odd after only a few days, still a little odd to imagine this woman would have said yes in the first place. Would have let him place the sapphire ring on her hand at all.

"I have to start getting ready." Edwina groaned, rolling away from him, slipping into the robe. "My entire team will be here soon."

"What can I get for you?"

She rolled her eyes again, "You don't have to do that, I hate to say it, because it sounds like some rich white nonsense but I have people for that."

"I want to take care of you." He couldn't stop staring at her, in the late morning sunlight, streaming through the window, and she always looked so beautiful, everyone knew that, but right here, in these moments, with her hair tangled, and no make up on she's really at her most beautiful. And she was his to look after, to care for. His father running off with another woman had taught him one thing: A real man looked after his family and Edwina Sheffield was his family now.

So he spent all day, giving her sips of water while her make up team fussed around her, then the hair stylist, who also saw fit to attack his hair with a round brush at the very last second as Edwina kissed his cheek.

"I definitely have the most handsome date tonight." Edwina hummed as he buttoned himself into the oddest tux he'd ever worn in his life, the armour plates stiff on his shoulders.

He scoffed, "Well, I doubt that, Michael and Frankie are here."

"Oh, but then in your opinion I won't even be the prettiest girl here." She hummed amusedly as a team of women buttoned her into her gown.

"I don't have a crush on Francesca Bridgerton!" Matt felt his cheeks flush as the team of women chuckle. "I just respect her acting!"

And then the women stopped back from his fiancée and really, as if he could ever think about anyone else when she looked like that. The gold armour of her dress was glinting in the light, the long train swept behind her, shining in silver, her dramatic make up making her look so different from the woman he'd fallen in love with, but it was still her. Just a different part of her, and for the rest of his life he'd love them all.

He was sweating by the time their car was at the front of the queue, anxiety rolling in his stomach as their car rolled slowly forward, Edwina's hand squeezing his reassuringly.

"Just smile. That's all you have to do, you'll finally see how easy my job is." And then the door was opened.

Matthew forced his feet forward, racing around the car ignoring the flashing cameras, waving off the people who had stepped forward to help Edwina from the car, leaning into her lips as she kissed his cheek, unable to help the smile that came to his face.

"There's that smile." She took his arm as they walked the short distance, pausing for pictures, and then she started ascending the steps and Matt couldn't help himself. He, a little reluctantly released her arm, waving her forward as she frowned, stooping to catch the train of her dress, laying it out perfectly as the cameras flashed all around him, and all he could do was stare in wonder at this beautiful woman, who for some unknown reason had picked him to spend the rest of her life with.

"Matt, come here." Her hand was held out towards him, beckoning him forward, and he couldn't help but stumble just a little in his hurry to get to her, the assembled media chuckling a little.

"You'll have to excuse him, he's a little new at this." Edwina called out, another chuckle as she wrapped her arm around his waist and then in front of everyone, she tugged him down until their lips met, and goddamn it, he was the luckiest bastard alive.

Apparently, everyone else agreed with him, if the tweets and headlines he snuck a peek at the next morning were anything to go by.

I'm sorry who is this handsome little nerd Edwina Sheffield has brought with her?!

He's helping her out of the car, oh that's sweet.

As Always Edwina Sheffield is BOG

Oh he's holding her dress for her!!!!!! Edwina Sheffield's boyfriend is the SWEETEST I can't I actually can't

Why are they so fucking CUTE?! ENOUGH!

WAIT IS THAT A RING ON HER HAND?! MA'AM!

Buzzfeed: Edwina Sheffield's boyfriend has a name and no, it's not just Daddy.

*Previous versions of this article referred to Matthew Bagwell as Sheffield's Boyfriend, However it has been confirmed through her publicist and an announcement made in the paper by Sheffield's mother and Sister, that he is in fact engaged to the model as of last week.

For fuck's sake! I just learned of Matthew Bagwell's existence and he's already off the market!

[ninjawarrior100]

Luna’s achieved goal and the aftermath with Tanner? (Fiction Theory)

Luna got the file with the information about the Blueblood Killer from Tanner who seemed to be very impressed with her hard work and determination. 

It’s a bit pity that we don’t know what happens after Tanner injected her again. All in all, there’s a cliffhanger with an open end of “Scrutinized”.

I’m really asking myself if there could be any DLC or a concrete sequel where we would know the real ending of Luna’s tale in the WTTG universe.Though this might be answered in “Welcome to the Game: Online” where everyone is included besides Luna and Tanner like Clint, the Doll Maker, the Noir or (for sure) Adam himself aswell. 

It would be interesting to know who the BBK is and also how Luna will find him and if there would be any dialogue between Luna and him about his victims and her cousin. 

Nevertheless, at some point it was said it’s a remained mystery if the BBK is a man or a woman because no one know his or her face. I personally think it would be somehow unsettling and suprising at once if it would be a female and also to know if there is a proper background story or another explanation of his or her motives.

Tanner is also someone who wouldn’t leave Luna on her own because in the very end his last words were:  “Until next time ... Luna.” which contain surely an aftermath in the future between these both important characters. 

This now may sound like a fanfiction-theory but what if Luna and Tanner must cooperate with each other because of an more important win-win situation?

At first, I thought that Luna and Tanner would work together to find the BBK like Katara and Zuko did to find the murderer of her mother. Somehow this might be interesting but I’m not fully convinced that Tanner would change his whole attitude because of Luna and become somehow really caring instead always being ... just Tanner from “Scrutinized”.

We don’t know if Adam really cared that much achieving the information of the BBK or not but if he might care a lot and asks Tanner about his task to find the information which he might denies or tries to explain that Luna was quicker than him. A much worser scenario would be if Adam finds out that Tanner was the one who gave Luna the file and didn’t fulfill his task and that could Adam judge as a betrayal and because of that Tanner could be kicked out of Adam’s organisation.

After all, Tanner stated to Luna that he has indebted himself to Adam which means he did (maybe never) want to work for him voluntarly. Like I’ve assumed in my previous theory post about Tanner role he might have indebted himself to him because he might had one single victim and Adam was the help he needed to escape, although the police is looking out for him. 

Because of the betrayal conspiracy Adam will want to punish Tanner and there could be different options such as sending the whole information about Tanner to the police so he might get caught. 

An another thought might be that Adam wants to see Tanner’s anxiety and slow process of self-control if he set a bounty on him, so every antagonist would hunt him. Yes, this might remind you of “John Wick: Chapters 2 & 3″. 

Anyways, Tanner could easily become the quarry himself among his former colleagues and even if he always seems so cheerful, this might change him into a serious and strained person aka his other characteristic side.

What role would Luna take in this whole situation which is basically about him and his former decision to help her?

I personally think that they both have nothing in common in a romantic way (if the developers confirm so, it would be a bit strange but I’m neither against this). There could be a new win-win situation or better to say “a deal”.

I don’t know if Luna would find out about the bounty of Tanner or he would tell her personally again within a tensed atmosphere (like kidnapping her again if his hideout is still save or he might get in her house again). This might lead to an intensive talk between the pro- and antagonist of the previous plot. 

Luna might be also a target for the hunters if Adam would find out about her or he would know that there is a person who got the information from Tanner. 

So both,Luna and Tanner, would become the hunted.

There, my second thought was a “deal” which they could arrange. Luna must help Tanner but I’m not sure in which way (to beat Adam and his whole squad or to find a save place for him with her computer skills). In return, Tanner might promise to somehow distract Adam and the hunters ... But that’s a point which I can’t tell for sure. 

I think we all are interested to find more about the characters of this universe which we might will in the future game or never will, but Tanner is somehow a vibing and a very popular anatgonist like Eddie Gluskin from “Outlast Whistleblower” in 2014 was. It would be great if the developers would some day release his personal information beside his surname “Grayton” like age, height, the truth about the asumption if he’s a cannibal or not  and the most important: his background story. 

Tanner is a young man who is in his late 20′s or in his 30′s and beside his good looking appearance, it remains unknown if he’s an actual doctor or chemist because of his former quote “I’m no master chemist”. 

It’s also somehow funny and unsettling at once how fast Tanner is. If you look closer, Tanner isn’t running ordinary but doing jump steps and he seems to have a great stamina although he’s smoking. This might mean he was in the army or he’s just good sports man. And we might (never) know his motives or reasons for his psycho character (he might have been like that since his birth or some event changed him dramatically which I assume is not the case). And we might (never) know his feelings towards Luna besides high respect. 

It would be ineteresting to see Tanner and Luna cooperate and becoming closer and develop a (small) friendship. They might travel through the country to find more evidences or trying to hide. Sometimes there were car sounds and plane sounds aswell during the game. I assume that the kidnapper did use the plan and Tranner the car ... So he might have one.

Adam might could have the idea to get Luna to let her decide ... like Clint from WTTG 2 had to ...

 A decision which is all about deciding if she wants to save her life by telling where Tanner is or worser taking the decision in front of Tanner to sacrafice him. The other decision might be that she must pass so Tanner would be free and he would be out of his debt and Adam might use her like Amelia. Somehow, Tanner would want that Luna should decide against him because “he likes her that much”, but Luna might also feel for him pity because of  the developed “friendship” or “sympathy” because of his former aware decision to risk his work for her giving her the BBK file. 

Well, this is only my theory which is more fictional, yes I know, but I do hope that the future game would have answers about the BBK, not only Tanner’s but about the other’s lores and a clear ending (if it’ll be the last game of this universe).

[anxiousnerdwritings]

what's up everybody it's the biggest dumbass known to man, knull anon. heres how knull got you from carnage. also apparently knull is almost 9 feet which is like bitch why cant I be that tall anyway here it is

________

“Carnage strikes once again to kill at least 47 people in today's burglary, where he yelled that he tried to ‘stop’ the criminals but they were getting annoying and instead, he caused a powerline explosion that thankfully only affected the surrounding area, ending in 47 terrible deaths. Monica is at the street where the bank was, with more info at what happened.”

“Thank you Jeff, yes, here today, the villain known as “Carnage” went through the streets and killed those 47 people, 4 children included. Police are actively trying to figure out where he has went, but to no luck-”

You almost didn’ hear it, but you were able to hear the steps up to the two story apartment creek and immediately you looked at the time. 12:57. Fuck. 

Quickly getting up from your position on the floor, you made your way back to your room as quietly as possible. Right as you jumped into the covers, you were able to hear the door open and slam. You tried to get comfortable, and you heard Cletus stom his way through the tiny apartment and go over to the kitchen for some reason. Strange. Usually he would go to your room whenever it was this late to make sure you were in bed. You heard the sink running lightly and some heavy breathing. Also unusual for him.

You felt him stomp around some more, opening different things and ripping open boxes. You wondered what he did. You tried not to think about it so you could go to sleep easier and not have to deal with him, but unfortunately, he seemed to finally decide to go to your room. 

Opening your door, he didn't even try to greet you. He only gave you a quick glance before he walked over to your dresser and pulled out a duffle bag and started to shove your clothes inside. Forgetting about sleeping, you shot up and sat on your hands while staring at him. “What are you doing?” 

Cletus only said, “We gotta go before he shows up.” 

“Who?”

Cletus didn’t respond, he only shoved more clothes into the duffle bag. He stopped for a moment and motioned to the duffle bag, as to say, “well?” You got out of bed in your pajamas and he handed you a random pair of clothes. “Get dressed, quick.”

You didn’t ask why since this was a strange move for him to play. He was never this worried about something, and you were almost never able to tell that he was worried since he was really good at hiding what he was feeling. However, you ignored it and instead you just went to the bathroom to change and look better then when you just woke up. 

~~~~

You never really thought Cletus could drive. To be fair, you never thought he had a car. But to be honest, he probably stole this one too.

Right now, you were driving in a truck, one with a little space in the backseats for your things, but for the most part it was empty. The empty highway you were driving on wasnt that much of a sight either. Wondering where you were going, you asked, 

“Cletus, where are we going?”

He gave you a look before you saw Carnage take ahole of the wheel by controlling his hands. Then he turned to you. “You were watching the news before I got home, right?”

You sunk into your seat a little, knowing he was talking about when he had just walked up the steps, but you nodded. “After I had my lunch,” Gross, “Carnage wanted to have a little fun downtown. Unfortunately we decided to hit up the unknown part of town and kill some people there. Which was a bad idea.”

He looked back at the road and Carnage retreated back into his skin. “... I haven’t told you about Knull, have I?” You shook your head. “He's the guy who created symbiotes, apparently, and he really wants control of them as well. He did a while back. But they got free of his rule or something. Anyway, now he's back and he wants to destroy the world or something.”

Oh. Well that was... interesting. You were about to ask more questions, when he suddenly said, “You should probably get some sleep. Were gonna be driving for a while longer.” 

~~~~

It was about 4 am when you woke up. You were able to see some lights that had been bloodied a bit. You sat up from your seat to see that you were at a gas station. It was still dark out. You also saw that there were a few bodies around the place. You unbuckled your seatbelt and opened the car door, and only then did you notice how bad you had to piss. You looked around and saw from inside the store the cashier was dead too. Turning around, you saw Cletus filling up the car. He saw you out of the car, and before he could say anything, you yelled out, “Can I go to the bathroom?” 

He gave a nod, and as you walked into the store, he yelled out to you, “Make sure to get some food, we’re gonna be on the road for a while.”

Walking into the store, you headed straight to the bathroom, and afterward you gathered a bunch of food around the store, mostly just small snacks, along with a few drinks, including water. You then walked up to the cash register.

“Hi, I just have- oh. I forgot he killed you.” You stood there awkwardly, not meeting eyes with the corpse in front of you. You saw that there were a couple plastic bags on the other side of the counter, so you reached over and grabbed some and shoved your items in it. You gave one final look at the bag to make sure you didn't forget anything before you went to the door. 

This gas station had its gas pumps away from the store itself, probably for parking reasons, probably for something else, and you were starting to regret getting so many items and having to carry them back to the car. However, you pushed on for your chips. Opening the door for the shop, you weren't even able to get outside before Carnage was thrown right in front of you, flying to your right, taking the door with him. He landed a few meters away from you, while angrily cursing. You took a step back from the shattered glass in front of you, and then you looked to your left. 

Standing there was an almost 9 foot tall person, with white hair and red eyes. He looked like he just got out of a hot topic, but damn he was able to give off murderous vibes. He seemed to walk right past you and head straight for Carnage. You saw them get up and jump back from whoever they were fighting. Carnage jumped straight for them, before he just motioned for you to get into the truck. You had already abandoned the bags and you hopped into the car, before you noticed that the pump was already back in its original place, and the car keys were already in. 

You looked out of your right window to see the two beings fight each other to the death, and without thinking, you hopped in the driver's seat and turned the car on. Right as the car turned on, you realized that you had no idea how to drive. You looked at the symbols, before remembering Cletus driving. Every time he wanted to go forward, he went to the D symbol. Everytime he wanted to go backwards, he went to the R symbol. You looked at the handle and put it in drive. Then you moved the car forward. 

You would be happy at yourself for teaching yourself on how to start a car if it hadn't been for someone ripping off your car door and dragging you out. A lot more gently then you would’ve thought, but it was better than being manhandled. You came face to face with that strange 9 foot tall bitch, the one who was a scary hot topic person. 

He had you by the back of your sweater you had lazily put on when you had to leave in a rush at 12. When he stood up you were at least 4 feet off the ground.

“Who are you?”

You didn’t say anything. You looked over to where Carnage was and saw that they were healing themselves. 

Whoever this was, they were extremely powerful to make Carnage heal Cletus. However, you did not pay any attention to the tall man in front of you. “I asked, who are you?” This time you did respond. 

“_________”

“I did not know Cletus had a daughter.”

“I’m not his daughter.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

To be fair, you didn’t know what you were doing here. You first met Eddie way back when, when you were trying to get some food for your siblings for dinner, and then you got mugged. Eddie and Venom had saved you, but then they took you for some reason. They treated you as a daughter, before you were able to escape. Then Cletus found you. You don’t know how long you’ve been with him, but more than a month. You’ve been trying to ask that question to them for a while. You really don’t know. So you told him.

“I was trying to get a burger and then I got illegally adopted by some guy named Venom and then I got illegally adopted by this guy.” You gestured to Carnage before your arm went limp. 

The tall man looked over to Carnage, who was starting to stumble up, before looking back at you. He gave a look that you had seen before, the one when Cletus and Carnage gave you when they took you off the streets.

“Venom, you say?”

You gulp before continuing. “Yes, the one whos always hungry and his, um, ‘host’ has him on a leash.”

The tall man seemed to scratch his chin in understanding, “Yes, yes I know who you speak of.”

Carnage came in again trying to land a hit on the tall man, before he got back handed into the store wall, and seemingly needed to heal again. The tall man looked back to you, and said, “My name is Knull. It seems that I am also plagued with the desire to, how did you say it, ‘illegally adopt’ you.”

“Oh are you fucking kidding me-” You heard Cletus say, and when you looked over, he was grabbing onto the wall for support. 

How long were they fighting before you got out?

Knull was starting to drag you away, to which your fight or flight instinct started to kick in and you tried to claw at his hand that held you at your hoodie. When that didn't work, you tried to climb up his arm and bite him but that also did not work. Looking back at Carnage, you saw them stumble towards you, but you were still fighting with the hand that kept you in place.

You were suddenly held up by your neck, somehow not choking you, but just enough so you could still breathe. You felt something at your temple before you started to fade. The last thing you saw was Cletus running towards you, his hand stretched out towards you and Knull seemingly grinning at something.

_____

this one was kinda fun to write ngl but anyways thank u for letting me write here lmao I want to create a new blog for this stuff but at the same time it's like my brain says no and it's just a big mess but ye thank you for letting me write here 💖💖💖💖. lots of love,

- knull anon

That was really awesome! I’m glad you got me into Knull, Knull anon! You’re always welcomed to write and send in whatever you want. I’m glad my blog can be a place for you to put your creativity to use. I gotta thank you for sharing and gracing us with your work💖🥰💕!

[365days365movies]

Horror October I: The Texas Chain Saw Massare (1974) - Recap: Part One

A bit of a disclaimer: this month might be rough.

There are a few reasons for that, but mostly because of the fact that there’s going to be a lot of gore, blood, and death in this spooky month. And I’m not planning on skimping out on any of it! So, through GIFs and through words, be prepared to expect some less than pleasant material. OK. Got that? Good! Then, let’s jump in headfirst!

Edward Theodore Gein was born on August 27, 2016.

Oh, yeah, we’re starting BIG. Any true-crime people out there cut their teeth on Ed Gein and others of his ilk. One of the most famous killers in American history, the Wisconsin man was born to George and Augusta Gein. While his relationship to George wasn’t much of note, Ed was the textbook definition of a mama’s boy. He was frighteningly devoted to his mother, who was a controlling, sanctimonious, overly-religious sociopath. She was fiercely protective of her sons, and thought of any and all women as whores and jezebels who could take her sons away from her.

Sound familiar, movie buffs?

We’ll get there, don’t worry.

Gein was, it could be charitably said, an absolute weirdo. He was likeable enough, but he wasn’t the most sociable person. That’ll happen when you’re raised on a meat farm with an overly-controlling Bible-thumping mother away from any outside human contact. What I’m saying is, Eddie was a little fucked up from the start. And it wouldn’t get any better from there.

Ed’s brother, Henry, realized that things were a little fucked up with them and their mom, especially after Dad died. So, he got the fuck out of there. And then, he was found dead in a fire, under somewhat mysterious circumstances. Did Ed kill his brother? We’ll never truly know, but it’s a huge point of suspicion amongst serial killer historians. With Henry and George gone, it was just Ed and his sainted mother now. But, after that, well...

Augusta wouldn’t last very long, and she died of a stroke in 1945 after screaming at a woman that she accused of being a homewrecking whore. Not kidding, that’s ACTUALLY how Augusta Gein died. Now Ed, without his precious, perfect, definitely-not-a-sociopath mother was gone, Ed was alone. And, uh...Ed was a complicated guy, it turns out.

Ed lasted for 12 years, all the while building his secret desires. See, Ed didn’t simply miss his mother. No, no, he wanted to BE his mother. In fact, more than that, Ed Gein might have wanted to be a woman. And yes, I say MIGHT. To be specific, Ed wanted to be his mother. And yeah, again, that most certainly sounds familiar.

But, uh, Ed went further than he should’ve. In the time since his mother died, Ed had been busy, robbing local graveyards and stealing the bodies and body parts of various women. He used their bodies to make furniture, decorations, and clothing. He made a nipple belt, a few skull cups, some skin curtains, and a face lampshade, amongst a bevy of other things. Earth-3 Ed Gein was the male Martha Stewart of his day, lemme tell ya.

In stealing the skins of these women, he also constructed a suit...a very special suit. This was Gein’s “woman suit”, and this may also sound familiar to you movie buffs out there.

You seeing a pattern here?

And you’d think this would be enough, but Gein went a bit further than that. In 1957, Ed killed hardware store owner Bernice Worden, mutilating and decapitating the corpse for reasons unknown. He also killed tavern owner Mary Hogan, skinning her and taking her face, which he fashioned into...a mask.

NOW you get the picture. 

Ed was arrested and sent to an insane asylum, where he died in 1984 of cancer. And, despite the heinous crimes and mutilation he performed, Gein’s story is to be pitied, more than feared. He really was a symptom of a horribly dysfunctional family, and probably would’ve turned out differently if not for that. Not to ecuse his actions, as he’s still a monster. But, of all the serial killers in American history, Gein is one of the more tragic of them all.

But once this was all discovered in 1957, the country was enraptured by the story. A British director named Alfred Hitchcock was so inspired by the story, he turned the story of a killer who wanted to become his mother into the famous horror film Psycho. Later on, Gein was combined with another killer to become the woman-suit making Bufflo Bill in Jonathan Demme’s The Silence of the Lambs. And, lastly, the twisted family and skin mask were turned into another famous slasher. He was combined with another famous killer from Texas to become Leatherface. And he, of course, debuted in the 1974 film The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. And with that...

SPOILERS AHEAD!!! And, uh...trigger warning.

Recap: Part One

The movie gives us an opening narration, pretending that this is an accurate recounting of a true story. This is just before we see glimpses of a rotting corpse, preceded by a radio broadcast of recent grave robberies in Texas, as well as a view of an elaborately posed set of corpses in a cemetery. Which, uh...definitely sets the mood, lemme tell you.

Apparently, Texas is having a hell of a time here in the 1970s, as the news continues to recount chaos unravelling in multiple different ways. Disease, serial killers, grave robbery, suicide; you name it, you got it in 1974 Texas, apparently. And amongst this chaos, a green van parks on the side of the road, so as to allow a young man in a wheelchair to relieve himself.

This is Franklin Hardesty (Paul A. Partain), the “invalid referenced in the opening. Which, yeah, not a great thing to say, but it’s 1974. Franklin is startled out of his wheelchair by a truck that looks like G1 Optimus Prime, much to the worry of his sister and Transformers-hater Sally Hardesty (Marilyn Burns). They, along with some of their friends, make their way to see the gruesome sculpture in the graveyard, and to make sure that one of the statues isn’t their grandfather.

After leaving the graveyard, the group decides to pick up a hitchhiker just outside of a slaughterhouse. The hitchhiker (Edwin Neal) is...ridiculously creepy. He recounts how he would work at the slaughterhouse, making head cheese and scraping away the entrails from the inside of the skulls of cattle. It’s, uh...it’s extremely creepy, and I’m a meat-eater. It’s not helped by the fact that dude takes Edwin’s knife and starts to slice into his own palm with it. Um...drop him off. Drop him off, guys. Please drop him off.

The creepy-ass hitchhiker (who reminds me A LOT of real-life serial killer Richard Trenton Chase) invites the group to dinner for some headcheese, while playing with a Polaroid camera like he’s never seen one before, despite the fact that he owns it. Jesus Christ, this whole movie could be avoided if you DROP. HIM. OFF. He continues to prove my point after they refuse to pay him for the photograph. He burns it up in the car, then uses his straight razor to slice up Franklin’s arm. And yeah, that’s when they kick him out of the van. A LITTLE TOO LATE, GUYS!

Shaken, the group decides to fill up the vehicle at a local gas station, where they tell the owner of their plans: to visit the Hardesty family homestead. The owner tells them two things: they have no gas, and you don’t wanna go to that old house. And, uh, yeah..LISTEN TO THE LOCAL AND RUN THE FUCK AWAY. Oh, God, am I that racist stereotype? Am I literally the black guy who yells at the screen so they run away? Well, fuck it, I’ll lean into the curve, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE, YOU DUMB KIDS

But no, they just keep going, despite the OBVIOUS BAD OMENS they’ve encountered so far. You’d think the one girl who’s into astrology, Pam (Teri McMinn) would sense this bullshit, but she’s too busy reading her natal charts to realize that SHIT IS FUCKED RIGHT NOW. But OK, whatever, they head on out to the Hardesty homestead, unabated and unafraid. Like blind idiots. What, have they never seen a horror movie before?

Apparently, they have, because Jerry (Allen Danziger) notes that this place looks like “the birthplace of Bela Lugosi, AKA the original Dracula. And that’s not fair. Lugosi was born in Lugos, Romania, which looks like a lovely city. As opposed to the OBVIOUS HELL-MOUNT THAT IS THIS MANSION

These kids decide to take a break and relax, with Pam and Kirk (William Vail) heading out to go swimming in a nearby watering hole, and probably have sex. Well, if horror movies have taught me anything, it’s that these two are gonna be the first to die, probably. Also, none of them help wheelchair-bound Franklin int the house, like proper assholes. And as he gets understandably upset about this, he also notices a windchime...made of bones.

This is my Nope Point.

Yeah, for every movie this month, I’m gonna identify a “Nope” point. That is when I, in this situation, would say “NOPE” and get the FUCK OUT OF THERE AS FAST AS I COULD MUSTER. And just as I think that, Pam and Kirk find a seemingly empty house Pam’s weirded out, especially when Kirk finds a FUCKING HUMAN TOOTH on the porch. But Kirk, like the inevitable first death that he is, just waltzes on in, the FUCKING NUMPTY. 

So, he waltzes into the house, and 

WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU

After a...genuinely harrowing and gorgeously shot scene, Kirk is, like...SUPER dead. And Pam, naturally, runs away to get help when Kirk doesn’t come out of the strange house. Right, Pam?

OH GODDAMIT PAM DON’T GO IN THE FUCKING HOUSE

Well, of course, Pam goes into the Ed Gein hellspace that is this house, and finds...a chicken. Yeah, it’s a bone-filled nightmare of a house, and they also keep chickens. And yeah, just as she’s trying to get out of there..

By the way, can we appreciate that my man is wearing business casual for this job? Like, he’s got the little tie, the button-up shirt. He takes his work seriously. And he continues to do so when he HANGS UP PAM ON A MEATHOOK, FUCK ME!!! THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD’VE LISTENED, PAM!

So...that happened. And Pam’s probably extraordinarily fucked. But, then again, we kind of knew that already. Franklin’s still worried about the hitchhiker, because he’s not caught up on current events, and Jerry heads out to find Pam and Kirk...alone. Fantastic. And of course Jerry finds the house, only to hear noises from behind the screen door that sound like Blue from Blue’s Clues. And AGAIN, I gotta say:

Second Nope Point of the film right there.

But, no, OF COURSE Jerry goes into the goddamn house. He sees the skins and skulls, and continues to waltz on in and trespass into this dude’s home. He finds Pam in an ice cooler, somehow STILL ALIVE, and OF FUCKING COURSE, Leatherface finds and kills him, with a SINGLE BLOW with an ax. Goddamn, dude is POWERFUL and TERRIFYING.

And honestly, the tide is turning, and I’m almost rooting for Leatherface here. This dude is just trying to do his job, and these STUPID FUCKING KIDS keep trespassing on his goddamn property. Dude’s trying to figure out what’s going on, licking his creepy-ass teeth and trying to figure out why all of these teenagers keep intruding on his private business.

We’ll pick up on Leatherface’s plight in Part Two!

[burnsopale]

So back in August I ensconced myself in a cabin on a mountain to do some writing, and I decided to do a take on the classic “Volkov returns from prison”-scenario.

I got five chapters and 35 000 words in and I will never ever finish it because I have no dicipline. So I figured I could at least share some of the readable bits with you.

Working title: Ashen Characters in this clip: BBA, Russian boys, PPB, mention of the Euro-team Setting: 7 years after season one, Russia, a beyblade park in the evening Summary: Volkov has escaped from prison, attacked PPB headquarters and taken back Black Dranzer. The Russian boys have been living with the PPB, and were used and hurt in the attack. Yuriy left with Volkov for unknown reasons. Daitenji Kogoro has gathered the troops and sent them to Russia to find out what Volkov is up to. Meanwhile, Kai’s grandfather is on his deathbed, and Kai is struggling to deal with it.

The crowd swelled, until there was no way that Takao was going to get any kind of private conversation with his friends. He gave up on the notion for the present, and threw himself into matches. He played the kids who wanted to, holding back as much as he could and leaving Seiryuu simmering in the blade, but eventually they called for a match between Takao and Kai.

Takao loved blading against Kai; somehow, he could never do less than his best against Dranzer, but when Kai now took his place on the other side of the small, grounded dish, something felt off to Takao. Kai looked dull, like he was going to the dentist and just had to get it over with. He fitted Dranzer into the shooter with a look like he was miles away.

“Hey,” Takao said, having to raise his voice a little to get past the crowd. “Are you there?”

 Kai looked up, a little surprised. “What sort of trash talk is that? Are you there?”

 “Just checking. I’ll be in your care.”

 “You’ll be under my heel,” Kai said darkly, and now Takao knew something was wrong, but a beybattle had always been Takao’s way to get through to people, so he just bent his knees and raised Dragoon in front of him.

 “Tri, dva, odin! Idi strelyay!”

 Out of the corner of his eye, Takao saw Emily startle, but he’d have to wonder about that some other time because Seiryuu would not be contained any longer and came out roaring.

Dranzer took Dragoon’s attack head on. Seiryuu bent over it like he was confused as to why Suzaku wasn’t joining him. For the longest moment, Kai just stood there, while Takao watched in disbelief.

 Then, as if he was lifting a great weight, Kai breathed in and cried, “Suzaku!”

 Even the vermillion bird herself didn’t so much soar out of the bit chip as climb laboriously out. Seiryuu hissed, offended by this poor showing, and the battle was over in less than a minute.

 Kai picked up Dranzer and went to stand next to Boris and Kyouju without even commenting on the results. The audience was, thankfully, satisfied, but Takao was not.

 He played Eddie and got a much better match out of him; Trypio was one of those tricky blades that you needed strategy and forward thinking to beat.

 Afterwards he got a chance to say two words to Emily about Kai.

 “He is going through a tough time,” she said.

 “Yeah, but he doesn’t usually let it hurt his blading.”

 “He can’t still be grumpy about the finals?” she wondered.

 Takao shook his head. “Nah, he agreed Ralf deserved that one.”

 Emily nodded, biting her lip in pleasure as she thought back. “Ralf was incredible. It was a team win, but he had the best individual result. The data output was like a laden buffet table.”

 “Ooh, buffet! ... Did he lose at all?” Takao didn’t think he had, but he hadn’t been able to catch every battle.

 “Hmm. Rai came close; lightning is good against such massive holy beasts, and it was close for Kai too of course, but no one can quite top the sheer mastery Ralf has over Griffolyon.”

 “It’s not mastery; it’s teamwork,” Takao insisted, frowning.

 “Call it synergy, then,” she said, shrugging. “Ralf knows his business, that’s all I’m saying. They all do, those European bladers.” She chuckled. “You know, Ivan calls them Earthquaker, Wingshaker and Heartbreaker, from back before he learned their names.”

 Takao matched the nicknames to their right bladers in his head. “... What does he call Johnny?”

 “The hedgehog.”

 “What about you?” he asked, nodding to the dish where Max was getting ready to battle Steve. “Are you going to play?”

 She shook her head, a look of pain crossing her sharp features. “Trygator is ... missing. He was taken in the attack. Volkov has it.”

 For a moment, Takao found nothing to say. Inside he was boiling. “We’ll get him back, Emily,” he vowed, clenching his fist. “I swear it.”

 She smiled a dangerous smile, not unlike a crocodile’s. “Yes, we will.”

 Eventually the group detangled themselves from the crowd and began to journey home. The world was growing dark, but the sky was still pale above. Long stretched of road lay without light, which came in handy when they had to escape from a few fans who apparently wanted to know where they were staying.

 They stopped on the lawn outside the hotel where Emily and company were staying, and Takao finally got to ask his question.

 “What happened?”

 The others looked at each other, except Boris who looked down, and Kai, who now said a brief goodnight, reminded them where to meet in the morning, and walked away. Max made a soft sound, but didn’t try to stop him. Kyouju seemed torn between not wanting to pry and dying to know.

 Emily made it easier by briefly telling them of her encounter with Peter Trotty. “Turns out his real name is Trotsky. He’s one of three Borg spies that have been undercover in the PPB for years. Or rather, one of the three we’ve found so far.”

 “What did he mean by that thing he said? Baba who?”

 The Russian boys shifted their feet. Sergei’s lips pulled back from his teeth in a silent snarl.

 Kyouju could, as usual, not help doing a bit of teaching. “Baba Yaga is the name of a witch in Russian fairy tales. She is an old woman who rides through the woods on a mortar, and lives in a house that stands on four chicken legs.”

 “Chicken legs?” Max echoed doubtfully.

 “She is sometimes an enemy, but can also help the hero or heroine, if they do the tasks she sets them.”

 “In this case,” Sergei said, “she is a real woman. She was in the abbey. She trained us, Ivan and me, and sometimes Yuriy.”

 “Don’t ask about her,” Ivan said, putting his hands over his ears. “I hear the creaking in my head all the time. I thought I was rid of it. I thought it was over!”

 “She is dead,” Sergei said with conviction. It sounded like something he needed to believe. “She was old when I came to the abbey; she must be dead. But they had her voice on a tape recorder and ... it’s hard to disobey.”

 “Fuck her!” Ivan exclaimed, and then grew suddenly pale as if he had said something dangerous. “No more,” he said, more lowly. “She’s a fairy tale now. Only fit for scaring children.”

 For a while they stood in silence, and then Kyouju asked the other question, the one that had been hanging over them all day. “Why did Yuriy go?”

 “Because he’s an idiot!” Boris said, holding up clawed hands like he would like to wrap them around Yuriy’s throat. He turned away and roared behind his teeth up at the darkening sky. “He’s a stupid mudak! Fuck!” He kicked a turf of grass so dirt sprayed up. “Fuck, fuck fuck!”

 They watched him stomp repeatedly on the uprooted bit of turf, and then move on to a flower that was unlucky enough to stand nearby.

 “What Borya said,” Sergei agreed.

 “But we’re to blame too,” Eddie added, pulling his jeans jacket around himself like he was cold. “We thought we were doing a good job making them feel at home.”

 “We thought Michael was taking care of Yuriy,” Steve said, stern with himself. “But Michael and Yuriy are nothing alike. It didn’t work out.”

 “And we didn’t notice,” Eddie finished.

 “Don’t talk like that,” Ivan hissed. “Like we were your homework!”

 “But you were,” Emily said in her factual, merciless way. “At first. Then you became our friends. Now you are ours, whether you like it or not. You won’t rest until Yuriy is liberated, but neither will we. He’s coming back home with us.”

 “We’re with you too,” Max said quickly.

 Takao and Kyouju nodded determinedly.

 “The first step is to figure out where Volkov is and what he is planning,” Kyouju said.

 “And that means getting to bed, so we are ready for tomorrow,” Emily added. “Come on, boys. I promised Judy I’d tuck you all in by ... well not this hour, but she doesn’t need to know that.”

 Takao, Max and Kyouju watched them go, Sergei grabbing Boris by the lapel and pulling him away from the flowers he was chewing up. Then they turned and headed for their own hotel and their beds.

 “What do you think we’ll find tomorrow?” Max wondered.

 “We’re going back to the abbey,” Takao answered. “We could find anything.” A feeling of foreboding was growing in his stomach.

 Takao surprised everyone by being the first to get up that morning. He was too keyed up to sleep any longer. He was digging into his second round of breakfast when the others arrived, but politely stuck around to keep them company until they too were finished. It gave him time for round three anyway.

 “You’d think I don’t feed you,” Dad said as he brought his plate to the table.

 “You’d think Grandpa doesn’t feed you,” Takao retorted, looking at the mountain of food on his dad’s plate.

 Kyouju sipped his tea, two slices of toast with honey lying neatly on a plate in front of him. “Like father like son, I suppose.”

 “They snore like father and son too,” Max said, yawning as he took a seat between Kyouju and Kai.

 Kai smiled. He had his own room.

 Their friends arrived from the other hotel a little before ten o’clock, and at ten precisely, two large black cars came to a halt in front of the hotel doors. A huge man stepped out of the first car. He had bushy moustaches and bushy eyebrows, and a great big belly, and he wore shorts, sneakers and a yellow Hawaii shirt that looked deeply out of place in the middle of the city. He shook hands with Takao’s dad, and with Kai and Emily.

 “Hello hello, everywan,” he said, sounding exactly as jolly as you’d expect, like a big Russian santa. “My name is Gregor Gregorovitsj. You can call me Gregor. I will be your guide today. I understand that some of you will be coming with me to look at the papers and other inventory that we cleared out of the abbey, while some others of you,” He looked to Takao’s dad. “Want to go see the abbey for yourself.”

 He looked at them expectantly. Then his eyes alighted on Sergei, and travelled to Boris, and down to Ivan.

 “Oh.” He said. He scratched his head. “... They didn’t tell me why you wanted to go there. Why would you want to?”

 “You haven’t heard about Vladimir Volkov escaping from prison?” Emily asked.

 Gregor looked surprised, and then a little embarrassed. “To be honest, nobody tells me anything. I am only archivist, but I speak English, so they sent me. I have never been guide before.” He frowned. “But if that man has escaped ... hmm ... that explains some things. I may not be told anything, but I do hear things.” He frowned a little more. Kai cleared his throat, startling him out of his thoughts. “But we should get going! Okay, those who want to go to abbey go in the first car; the driver knows way, and someone will meet you there to show you around. Everyone else, in second car with me.”

 “Who is going where?” Takao wondered. “I’m coming with you, Dad.”

 “As am I,” Kai said.

 “And me.” Boris took a step away from his own group towards theirs. “You won’t find anything without one of us going with you.”

 Kai turned to him. “Then it should be Ivan or Sergei.”

 “No,” Boris said simply. “It will be me.”

 Emily pushed her glasses up and surveyed her troops. “Sergei is taking point on the textual evidence, and Steve and I read enough Russian to aid him. Daitenji Kogoro mentioned a warehouse with inventory, so Eddie and Ivan are going there.”

 Kai rolled his eyes in disgust. “And how do we know you won’t have another episode?” he asked Boris bluntly. “You think going back to that place won’t trigger any memories?”

 Boris lifted his head stubbornly. “There will not be an episode. I am going.”

 “You are not safe,” Kai growled.

 “Stop it!” Takao placed himself between them, facing Kai. “If Boris says he will be fine, then he will be.”

 “Why?” Kai sneered. “Because you believe in him?”

 “Because I trust him,” Takao answered.

 Dad put a hand on Kai’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Kai; we’ll be together the whole time. If anything should happen, we can handle it, but I think Boris knows best if he will be alright or not.”

 Kai shrugged off the hand. “I agree,” he spat. “I just also think he would lie about it.”

 Emily, Eddie and Steve were looking on in confusion and shock, while Ivan and Sergei’s faces were growing dark.

 Boris said something in Russian that was clearly an offer to throw hands, and Kai turned back to him like he absolutely meant to take that offer and go through Takao if he had to, until Max suddenly stepped in front of Kai and drove him backwards.

 “That’s enough, Kai!”

 Takao exhaled in relief as he saw Kai’s attention snap to Max with the irresistible awareness that Max always commanded of him.

 “This isn’t about Boris,” Max said, putting his hands on his hips and leaning forward like he was at work and lecturing one of his kindergardeners. “It’s about you. If you don’t want to go to the abbey, then you don’t have to! But don’t take it out on Boris!”

 Kai’s face got all red and pinched.

 Max straightened up and exhaled. “Kai.” He shook his head. “I’ll come too, and like Kinomiya-san says, we’ll go together, and if you’re scared I can hold your hand and then it will be fine-”

 “Just get in the car,” Kai said in a strangled voice and immediately followed his own advice.

 “Guess I’m coming with you,” Max said, nodding to himself like he thought he had done a good job, and Takao thought so too.

 Max had a way of diffusing – or confusing – Kai that sometimes came in handy.

 Takao just wished they could get to the heart of the problem. This was not about the abbey, he didn’t think so, though it was about going together, and about being lonely even when you were surrounded by friends.

 “Well,” Gregor said, swinging his hands back and forth by his sides. “That was awkward. Would you like to go now?”

 Kyouju decided to go with Ivan and Eddie to the warehouse, and so the teams were agreed upon.

 Takao didn’t know what Daitenji-san wanted them to find in that black stone labyrinth, but as they left the city centre and began to near the desolate edges where Volkov had picked up so many of Moscow’s orphaned and abandoned boys, his feeling of foreboding grew stronger. Something was waiting for them. Something they were not prepared for.

[asteriismos]

hey jude - richie tozier

warning(s) : eighteen! richie tozier, rough smut, degrading terms like slut and bitch, choking, a daddy kink, oral ( male recieving )

authors note : im not saying listen to ‘da ya think im sexy?’ by rod stewart while listening to this but thats exactly what im saying

words : 3.8k

request :

Hey , I was wondering if you could do a smut with 2017 Richie being In an alt couple , with a girl who’s brittish with degrading , rough smut , choking and the almighty daddy kink ❤️

ever since you moved to derry, things have been different for richie. 

the first time you stepped into his math classroom after winter break, teacher claiming that you were the new transfer student, he couldn’t get his mind off of you. you were gorgeous, not like anyone else in the small little town of derry that he’s been living in all his life. if there were anyone there that was half as cool as you seemed, richie would be interested in them. but there wasn’t. you were the breath of fresh air in his life that he didn’t know he needed, and you had only been in the classroom for 3 minutes.

then you spoke. and richie was even more interested in you. 

you had an accent, clearly from the uk, which was explained while you talked a little bit in front of the class as the teacher awkwardly tried to get you to tell them about yourself. your dad was a businessman who was seeing some type of potential in bangor, and fell in love with derry when he drove through it a few months ago. 

now you were here, finishing up your senior year here and going to college in the states. you seemed a little bitter about that to richie, but who was he to judge. he really didn’t like derry himself, he was glad that you only had to stay here for half a year instead of eighteen fucking years. 

the rest of the day he thought of you, though his thoughts skewed a little bit towards lunch, worried about the history pop quiz that people were talking about. history was his eighth period, which led to much anxiety about the end of the day. but after school ended, richie was going to meet up with the rest of the losers outside of the school near the entrance so that they could all go get hot chocolate at stan’s place. early january in derry was so cold that it was almost impossible not to drink a warm beverage every single day. 

he sat outside on the hoods of stanley’s car lighting a cigarette when he looked up, seeing you walking over to the car right beside beverly. bevvie said that she met you in gym class and you two apparently hit it off. 

and the rest was history. you became an official unofficial member of the losers club. bev adored you, the two of you became some kind of punk rock loving duo, and that’s all it took for you to get introduced to the rest of the group.

as said before, it was customary for the entire losers club to go to someones house after school ended and to get some hot drink. winter was soon coming to an end, derry launching further into the cusp of spring every day. the snow was beginning to melt on the ground, trees starting to produce their green leaves, and the sun was shining more and more each day.

“richie, can you come and help with the coffee? jesus, it’s your house!” eddie yelled from the kitchen of the tozier residence. richie was seated on the couch next to you, spewing some nonsense about this girl in your shared math class together and how she apparently bit down on this football players dick the other day trying to give him head.

you laughed, leaning into the couch enough to where the fluffy built in cusions almost enveloped you. “you’re such a liar, tozier,” you said through your laughs, hitting him lightly on the side of the head. richie shook his head, stifling out a chuckle of his own. in his own awful posh british voice impression, he exclaimed, “you are SUCH a liar, tozier.”

“fuck off,” you said to him. “go help eddie.” you reached over and pushed him off the couch, watching richie as he walked into the kitchen out of earshot.

you sat at the couch, a smile still on your face thinking about the trashmouth. you hadn’t told anyone about your impending interest in richie for fear of them telling him because this group was not good at keeping secrets from each other at all. the only person that you vaguely told was beverly, saying that you had an interest in someone in your math class. that left like 10 boys, including richie, in the mix. but the more you hung out with the group, the more you floated towards richie tozier. it wasn’t that hard to tell whom you had feelings for when you two were together.

beverly was starting to notice your feelings for richie and you knew it. 

“so y/n,” beverly asked from across the room. you turned to face her, snapping out of your thoughts about richie. “what are the guys like where you’re from?”

stanley gave beverly a look, laughing a little bit to himself at the question. bill put his face into the palm of his hands and looked at you, interested in your answer. you shrugged your shoulders, looking up to the left in thought. “guys are the same, I guess?”

beverly hummed to herself and gave you that devious little smirk of hers, “what about sex? what are they like?” the other guys laughed a little bit, shaking their heads while still listening for what you had to say. you shook your head, deciding that you weren’t going to answer the question. but that wasn’t enough for beverly, she raised her hands up in the air and slapped her thighs to get your attention again. “come on, y/n! we all wanna know what the boys get up to in england.”

you laughed at your friend. “okay, okay,” you said in defeat, putting your hands up in a ‘I surrender’ motion. “i don’t know. they’re okay i guess. but they’re so caring, they keep asking me if I'm okay, you know? it’s like ‘yes I am now stop asking’.” you laughed to yourself, thinking back to the boys that you’ve been with that all do that. they talk the big talk, then when it comes to actually fucking them, they’re afraid to do anything to do you. they go slow and sensual when sometimes you want it hard and rough. it was exhausting and you were so tired of it. you were also so tired of riding guys to try and get an ounce of the fast rhythm that you wanted. 

richie and eddie walked back into the room right as beverly was about to ask another question, eddie going on and on about how richie wasn’t helpful at all and just watched as eds did all the work. you laughed at your two friends and grabbed the coffee mug richie had gotten for you and made room for him on the couch beside you again. he sat down and wrapped his arm loosely around your shoulder, making you smile into your mug as you took a sip. you leaned into his side, savoring the feeling of being in his arms. 

since it was senior year, the losers were trying to go to as many parties as they could. courtesy of bill being on the baseball team, he got a free ride to all of the good ones and invited all of you guys along. you were getting ready for the party in your room, wearing a short black skirt and some tank top to compensate for the heat that would be at the party. 

richie was planning on picking you up, but you told him he could just come inside because your parents weren’t around to yell at you for having a guy in the house. they were really strict about that sort of thing, which pissed you off because a majority of your new friend group was guys. 

a soft knock on your door was heard and you opened it, smiling at richie who stood idly in the hallway. he looked out of place in your home dressed in his dark blue jeans and black smiths t shirt against the yellow wallpaper of your home. “come in, I'm almost done,” you said to him, beckoning him into your room and pointing to the chair he could sit on next to your desk. 

richie took a look at you when you turned away from him, watching your hair that bounced with every step you took and how the edge of your skirt rode up just a little bit with the sway of your hips. realizing that he was definitely staring more than he should, richie shook his head to himself and made his way to the chair to sit. he watched as you looked at the jewelry that was hanging up on a storage rack. you pulled out a gold chain necklace and gave him a look, “could you help me with this?”

he cleared his throat, nodding in response and walking over. he stood behind you, at least a half a head taller than you. richie grabbed the two ends of your necklace, and with his nimble fingers he easily latched it on, watching it fall perfectly on your skin that glowed in the sunlight that shined through your window. you gave him a smile, which he could see from the mirror in front of you. richie looked at you in the mirror and sighed to himself, for some reason feeling jealous of anyone seeing you in such a short skirt. what if there was another guy there that caught your attention? what if you liked the other guy so much that you let him feel up your skirt or even worse, let him fuck you? 

“are you sure you want to wear that?” richie blurted out before even registering it. you gave him a look in the mirror, eyes landing on his own that were staring at you already. 

you gave a slight laugh, though suddenly felt a little strange feeling in your stomach. “what? are you my dad now or something?” you turned around to face him, your faces only inches apart from each other. you could smell his cologne along with the faint smell of cigarette smoke that you always felt yourself getting lost in when you were in class with him. he was looking down at you with dark eyes that made you clench your thighs together. richie walked forward, prompting you to walk backwards until you were pressed against your dresser. the cold surface made you shiver even through your clothing.

richie was kissing you. 

richie was kissing you. 

richie was kissing you.

with his hands placed firmly on the curve of your waist, body pressing against your own, richie kissed you with an unknown desire he didn’t realize that he had until seeing you in that pretty little skirt of yours. it was an almost animalistic urge and desire to show you that you were his, that he wanted you more than anything in this world. 

your lips moved against his own, eyes fluttering shut after the initial shock wore off. his tongue slipped into your mouth with ease and explored it, hands squeezing your sides with his warm hands. you moaned a little in his mouth, trying to keep up with the pace that was hard and rough. your hands flew to his face right below his glasses, fingers splaying along his soft cheekbones that made him shiver. you never thought that this moment would ever be happening, and the more his hips pressed onto your own, you hoped that even your wildest fantasies about richie tozier would be coming true. 

he grabbed you and turned you around so you were walking backwards to the edge of your bed, and with one languid push you were falling back onto your sheets. you pulled away from the kiss with richie to push yourself backwards all the way onto the bed, pulling him by his shoulders back on top of you and in between your legs, which you wrapped around his waist. richie kissed down your neck, biting a large hickey right in the crook of your neck where your shoulder and neck met. your fingers laced themselves into his black curly hair, reveling in how soft it felt. 

“richie,” you moaned out softly with his hips pushing against your own. you could feel the growing hard on of his against your inner thigh, making you even more wet at the thought of him fucking you with it. “I need you so bad.” you said in a soft tone.

richie came up to meet your gaze, giving you a devilish smirk. “I think you need to beg for it a little better, princess.” his hands went under your tank top, cupping your breasts with each of his hands. his fingers came and pinched your nipples, making you arch your back up into his touch. you needed more, you needed so much more from richie right now. “and don’t call me richie, call me daddy.” 

you threw your head back into the pillows, huffing a little bit while your cheeks burned red with embarrassment. “please daddy, fuck me with your cock,” you whined out, giving him an innocent look while batting your eyelashes at him. richie shook his head, making you frown a little bit at him. what else could he possibly want you to say? richie pushed himself off of you, standing at the edge of the bed while you still laid down, a little bit too clothed for his liking. 

“get undressed,” richie ordered. “then get on your knees.” you did what he asked, standing up from the bed, pulling off your tank top and pushing your skirt down. from there you unclipped your bra and slipped your panties down, throwing your discarded clothes elsewhere in your room. the look that richie was giving you was enough to make you moan out quietly, heat getting wetter and wetter with each passing second. you keeled down to your knees in front of him, watching as he worked to take off his belt and push his pants down. “I think you need to prove how much you want daddy’s cock,” he said to you. 

his hands reached to push down his boxers, taking himself into his hands and giving a few good pumps. you waited there for him, mouth open with your tongue laying out right for him to place his dick onto it. soon enough he was pushing into your mouth, making you sputter a small bit around his cock, hollowing out as much as you could. he was thick and long, and you didn’t know if you could even take him all in your mouth. the thought of it being thrust in and out with no remorse made you feel wild. 

you looked up at him, dick in your mouth, waiting for him to make a move. richie tutted, “such a good little slut aren't you? so ready to suck on my cock.” you shivered at the degrading, feeling that fire pool into your abdomen. his hands wrapped into your hair making a makeshift ponytail and pulling you off of his cock, then pushing it back into your mouth. he continued this motion, getting a little faster. you had to breath through your nose, spit drooling down out of your lips and down your chin. 

richie groaned from above you, bottom lip in between his white teeth. you reached to grab the back of his thighs to steady yourself while he used your mouth mercilessly. you gag around him, dick pulling out to give you a moment to breathe. while you breathe, your hands come to pump his cock that was slick with your spit. he didn’t waste another second pushing in, leading you by only your hair. your eyes are starting to water while you try and swallow around him. 

with one last thrust and push all the way to the back of your throat, richie pulls you off of him and says, “now what do you say?” it takes you a moment to find your words. your throat feels raw and fucked out and you don’t trust your voice but you say, “thank you daddy. thank you for letting me taste your cock.” 

“good girl, such a good girl,” richie praises, reaching to pull you up to your feet. your knees feel raw from kneeling before him, but instead of feeling hurt by it you just feel more aroused, anticipating what he would make you do next. “lay on the bed princess, legs spread out for me like a good bitch.”

you nodded your head, whining a little bit from the loss of contact from him, knowing that you would get it soon though. in between your thighs ached at the thought of him going to be inside you, stretching you out and fucking into you until you were a ruined mess. the eye makeup that you had put on for the party was slightly smeared already from the tears welled up in your eyes as he fucked your mouth. he didn’t fit all the way in your mouth . . . you wondered if he would even fit inside of your aching pussy. 

you laid down at the edge of the bed, spreading your legs out to show yourself to him as much as you could. richie smiled at you, a real genuine smile while his eyes raked over your body. you were so wet, he could easily see how much you wanted him, how much you needed him. richie put his hands on your thighs, thumbs running up and down your inner thighs purposely neglecting the place you needed him most. you watched him with needy eyes, breath hitching in your throat once two fingers finally slid along your slicked folds. his fingers caught your arousal, instantly getting wet enough to push into you. they stretched you out, quickening the pace while his other hand kept your hips from squirming around. 

he pulled his fingers out and pushed them into his mouth, moaning at the taste. you tasted so good that richie thought he was going to die right then and there. he pushed off his t shirt and settled in between your legs, letting his hands come right up to your hips. “now take daddy’s cock like the good slut you are, okay princess?” he said to you, giving you no time to answer when he pushed into you with no warnings. there was a little restraint from you around him, he was so big that it took him a moment to bottom out. you took every single inch of him, eyes closing and head throwing back onto the pillow. 

“you’re so big daddy,” you moaned out, hearing him groan your name after you said it. your eyes were still closed so you didn’t see his hand come and reach around your throat until you felt his long fingers wrap around your throat and squeeze. your clit throbbed at the feeling, loving the feeling of his hand around your throat while he pushed slowly in and out. “fuck me daddy, please, I need you so bad daddy,” you begged him, needing something more to push you to finish. 

“well, since you asked so nicely,” richie said to you, pushing down on your throat and fucking into you nice and hard. your tits bounced with every harsh thrust, your hands gripped the sheets beside you while you took every single rut of his hips. you were so desperate and wet for him that the sound that was made every time he pushed in and out was sinful and you loved every second of it. 

he fucked you into the mattress so hard that you were moaning and screaming, feeling hotter and hotter as he took you to that brink. “I think I'm close daddy please let me cum,” you begged him, eyes opening to meet his own that were looking intensely along your body. he gave you a serious smile and nodded his head, “you can cum then baby, let it out, since you asked so nicely.” and that’s all it took for you to clench around him, feeling your whole body spasm. your legs were begging you to close but you couldn’t, because richie’s hips were in the way, keeping you spread out. 

richie still hadn’t came yet, and you could see the determined look on his face while he picked up the pace, harsh and rough ruts against your hips left you moaning again. his hand clenched around your throat and you breathed out shakily as best as you could, his other hand pushed your leg up. this exposed a new angle and made him push even deeper into you. his thick cock stretched you out more and more with every thrust, your aching pussy so sensitive from your first orgasm. the base of his cock pressed against your clit and you knew you were going to cum again. 

right as his thrusts started to get more erratic and out of rhythm from his previous ones, you were cumming and clenching again, making him spill inside you with a moan of your name. “you took my cock so well,” richie muttered out, groaning while his hot spurts stayed inside you, only a few drops spilling out while he pulled out of you. his hand left your throat and he left you, coming back into your line of vision with a towel in hand. richie wiped away all the cum he could that was slick in between your thighs, mixing with the sweat and your own arousal.  each of you were breathing so heavily, it was as if neither of you had decided to breath during that entire time. 

too enticed by the idea of fucking each other. 

he grabbed your panties and tank top, giving you them and helping you get into them. he pulled up his boxers and gave you a look, wondering if you wanted him to stay or not. you looked up at him and grabbed his arm, not letting him leave your room for the time being. 

“if you’re going to fuck me that hard, you need to give me cuddles afterwards.” you giggled, making room for him to lay beside you. you cuddled into his side, pulling the covers over each of you. 

“I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to get into the complicated stuff,” richie said. 

you cocked your head to the side. “the complicated stuff?”

“yeah. like the fact that I have feelings for you. a lot of them.”

you smiled, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek. “then I'll spare you the explanation, yeah? I like you too, richie. a lot.” 

you liked him too. richie felt his heart start to beat more rapidly inside of his chest. he turned and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head, humming contently.

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

Can you do a reddie secret admirer one shot? I’ve been starved for one and I love your work

“Gimme, let me see that,” Bev moved forward and ripped the note out of Eddie’s hands, bringing it up to her face to read what it said. “This is some adorable stuff, Eddie. Do you have any idea who it might be?” She passed the note back to him before leaning against Ben. All of the Losers were gathered in the clubhouse, hanging out post school to regenerate.

Eddie shook his head, “I really have no idea. I don’t know anyone who might be able to write nice notes like this and I also have no clue who would...put this much effort into something like this for me.” He shrugged, slipping the note back and forth between his fingers. “It’s probably a joke, anyway. One day they’ll reveal themselves and it’ll be this huge joke.”

It was that sentence that made Richie perk up from the hammock, the comic he was reading falling into his lap, “Woah, Eds. You don’t know that. This person might genuinely be into you. We can also collectively agree that it’s a guy? No girl would be able to write shit like that.”

“Exactly, that’s exactly why I know this whole thing is a huge joke!” Eddie snapped, whipping his head around to Richie. “The last thing I need is for you to start...making fun of me for this. Sometimes your jokes are well timed and appreciated and other times, like now, everyone would just prefer it if you kept your mouth shut.” Around him, the loser's jaws dropped but none of them said anything as Eddie grabbed his stuff and left the clubhouse, the note scrunched up in his hand.

He was halfway home when Eddie heard the familiar crunching of Richie’s shoes following behind him. Thanks to his long legs, Richie was able to catch up to Eddie quite quickly, which was annoying when he wanted nothing more than to get away from his friend. “Eds, hey, wait up!” He sounded out of breath, as though he had been running and that made Eddie turn around, his eyes narrow. “Thank you, jeez!”

“What do you want Richie? Can’t you take a hint that I want to be alone?” Eddie snapped, crossing his arms across his chest. “Go back to the clubhouse, I’m fine. I just want to be alone okay?” He hoped that would be enough to satisfy Richie and he’d turn around to head back, but he wasn’t in luck as Richie stayed put. “Look, I’m sorry I snapped at you, I’m just...I know this is a joke, but is it really stupid of me to want it to be real?”

Richie’s jaw dropped just a little and he ran his hand through his hair, “Eds, of course it’s not. I wasn’t making fun of you back there when I suggested it might not be a joke. I was serious. We’re not in middle school anymore, we’re High School seniors, people have grown up and you...you’re a catch Eds. Any guy would be lucky to have you on their arm.”

Eddie bit his lip, looking from the ground and back to Richie, who was still staring at him. “You really think whoever sent these could be...actually into me?” He asked, voice quiet and Richie was quick to nod his head in agreement. “Why wouldn’t they tell me who they are though?”

At that, Richie chuckled a little, “Uh, well there’s loads of reasons Eds. Maybe he’s a little scared that you won’t feel the same once you find out who it is? Maybe you guys are friends already and he doesn’t want to ruin anything. I mean, you are friends with more than just the losers now. You have all the guys on the track team, and the student council.”

“You think it might be someone on the track team?” Eddie asked, suddenly feeling a lot more nervous about the whole situation. The guys on the track team, minus Ben, were all somewhat popular at their High School. “I mean...wow,” he ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks, Richie, you really made me feel a whole lot better about this thing.”

Richie smiled and if Eddie was paying attention, he would have realised it wasn’t a proper Richie smile. “No problem Eds,” he winked. “Anything for my favourite Loser.” He turned to look back towards the clubhouse. “I left my bag and everything back there, so I’m going to go get it. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, taking a few steps back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Richie.” He turned to head back, when he heard Richie call his name. He turned back around, a questioning expression on his face. “Yeah?”

Instead of saying anything, Richie just shook his head and waved Eddie away, “Nothing, see you later Eds.” He turned around and walked away. As he did, Eddie smiled at him, before he turned around, heading home.

* * * * *

“You gotta tell him, Rich,” Stan spoke from next to Richie as he rummaged through his locker. He had been putting secret admirer notes through Eddie’s locker for three months now, and every day he told Stan he would tell Eddie it was him. He never did, he always chickened out when he got even a little close. “If you don’t tell him, he’s really going to think it’s a game and you’ll lose your chance.”

Richie slammed his locker shut and rested his head against the metal, banging his head, “I know, fuck, I know. I just- what if he freaks out and I lose him? What if he laughs at me...or worse screams at me for making a joke out of him. It’s not a joke Stan, I love him!”

Stan raised an eyebrow and looked down to the note that was in Richie’s hand, “Don’t tell me you love him, you need to tell him that.” He looked up and over to where Eddie’s locker was, where he was talking to one of the guys on the track team. “I’d also be quick about it because to me, it looks like Danny is going to ask Eddie to prom.”

Eyes wide in panic, Richie whipped his head around to see that Danny was, in fact, talking to Eddie close and intimately. A feeling of jealousy, not that Richie would admit that, took over him and he grabbed his back, striding over to where his best friend was and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Morning Eds, what a beautiful day it is right?” He asked, before looking up at Danny who was looking awkward. “Oh, hey Danny.”

“Hey Richie,” Danny muttered. “Uh, sorry but Eddie and I were having a conversation, could we have a little privacy?” He asked and Richie scoffed, tightening his arm around Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie seemed to notice, as he looked up at him, frowning slightly.

“Anything you have to say to Eddie you can say to me, right Eds?” Richie asked, looking down at him to meet his curious gaze. Eddie frowned once more but nodded and turned back to Danny to hear what he had to say. “See? So ask away.”

Eddie sighed, “I’m sorry about him, you were about to say something, Danny? What’s up?” He was smiling now, as though he was waiting for Danny to say something life changing and the green eyed monster flared up in his stomach.

Danny glanced at Richie before he turned back to Eddie, “So I heard that you’ve been receiving notes in your locker from a secret admirer?” Richie froze up a little, but neither of them noticed as Eddie perked up. “Well, it’s me. I’m the one sending the notes and I was hoping I’d be able to take you out on Friday and if it all goes well, take you to Prom next week?”

The students in the hallway all stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to the three of them. Eddie’s eyes were wide and his cheeks red as he looked from his locker, to the note in his hand and then back to Danny. Richie, on the other hand, was frozen in shock. For the first time, he was lost for words. “I-” Eddie mumbled. “I guess?”

“Great, pick you up at seven?” Danny asked and Eddie weakly nodded his head, the happy look that was on his face now gone.

Just as Danny started to walk away, Eddie pulled out of Richie’s grasp to head to class and Richie finally found his words. “Wait, wait stop!” Richie yelled, making everyone turn their heads back to Richie; including Eddie and Danny. “No, no this is all wrong. Danny- you’re an asshole because you’re not the one sending Eddie those notes and the fact that you’d claim you were makes you even more of a douchebag.” A few whispers broke out in the hallway, but Richie wasn’t done. “Eds, Eddie. This- this isn’t how I wanted you to find out. I had a plan, I swear I did and it involved a lot more romance and a picnic and maybe roses.” He chuckled nervously and took a step closer to Eddie.

“What- what are you saying, Richie?” Eddie whispered, his eyes filled with tears. All Richie wanted to do was pull him into his arms and make everything okay again. God he wanted to punch Danny for being such a prick.

He took another step closer to Eddie, “It’s me,” he whispered. He pulled out the fresh note from his pocket and walked right up to Eddie with it, holding it out for the taking. “I’m your secret admirer. I’m the one who’s been sending you the notes and putting little gifts in your locker because, because I am so in love with you and I have done so for so long. I was just...scared to tell you because I didn’t want to lose you as my friend.”

Eddie’s eyes widened and he took the note from Richie, opening it up to read over the words; the words that Richie had been too scared to say out loud. Unknown to Stan and everyone else, Richie had in fact written his identity in that letter, finally believing it was time to come clean to Eddie.

Eds,

Fuck, you probably know it’s me now and this is letter number 15, I’m running out of paper so let’s just run with it. I love you. I love the way you laugh at all my jokes, I love the way you help me with the pranks without question. I love how much you just get me and I get you. I don’t know if you feel the same about me but god I hope you do. You’re amazing and you deserve the world, even if it isn’t with me.

If it is with me though, and you do feel the same, would you meet me on the field after school? I planned a little date for us, yes a date, so we can talk about all of this. It’s not a joke, I would never joke about this, not with you. I hope to see you there, Eddie Spaghetti.

Love, Richie

Letting out a breath, Eddie looked up from the letter with tears trailing down his cheeks. Richie was sure that Eddie was about to turn around and leave him, and his heart, in the dust. Yet, instead of walking away, Eddie pocketed the letter and took a step forward, pushing up on his toes as he wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck to bring their lips together.

The kiss wasn’t deep or dirty or anything like that. No, it was soft, sweet and absolutely perfect. Eddie’s lips tasted like the cherry chapstick his mother made him use and they were both smiling into it so much they couldn’t really deepen the kiss. Slowly, Eddie pulled back and sat back down on his heels. “I’ll see you on the field afterschool. Don’t be late.”

Richie grinned, running hand through his hair as he nodded his head, “See you after school. I definitely won’t be late.” As Eddie walked away, Richie broke into a wide grin, punching the air just a little before clearing his throat and heading to class. He had finally scored the guy.

* * * * * 

@bi-bi-richie @bovaque @derrylosers @eds-trashmouth @eduardoandale @girasol-eddie @halfway-happy353 @inthebreadbinwrites @isaacslaheys @its-stranger-than-you-think @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @lifesucksheres20bucks @loserslibrary @losers-gotta-stick-together @madidraw @mars-14 @marsisaplanetyall @moonlightrichie @njess04 @oldguybones @pink-psychic @purplepoisonedgem @rebecca-the-queen  @reddie-to-cryy @reddiesetandgo @richietoaster @richietoizer @roobarrtrashmouth @rreddies @s-onora @s-s-georgie @sedanleystanley @sloppybitchreddie @spirited-marvel @stellarbisexual @studpuffin @that-weird-girls-blog @thegoshdiddlydangdoor @thejadeazalea @thorn-harvester-ven @tinyarmedtrex @tozier-boy @tozierking @toziesque @trashmouthtozierr @twoidiotsinl0ve @violetreddie @wilding-throught-thehallways @xandertheundead 

[lobanri]

i wrote a -shitty, tbh, but it wouldn’t stop haunting my shower time- richie tozier’s stand up post-canon thing, on a everyone lives au. i lost the thread a bit near the end, so i’m putting it up here and maybe i’ll post it on ao3 at some point. enjoy.

-

So I’m guessing- and I’m probably right, which is decidedly not how my guesses tend to go- that a lot of you came here to see if I could offer a better explanation than the tabloids about what happened last show, because (voice changes to a higher pitched, mocking voice): ‘Richie, what the genuine fuck was that’, (voice switches back.) right?

Well gee! Am I ever here to answer. And also maybe to give a stand-up performance whose entire script I threw out in favour of, like, maybe four jokes I scraped together with what’s left of my brain.

But! Explanation first. 

Okay. (short pause.) So. Imagine you’re me, the fantastic -that’s a joke in itself, right there- Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier. You’re about to go out and perform in front of, okay, maybe not that many people, but still a good number, and you’re like, only a bit nervous. And then.

You get a phone call. 

It’s an unknown number. It says so, right there on the screen of your phone that’s all smudged and disgusting and maybe a little bit cracked ‘cause you keep dropping it doing dumb shit.

(again, his voice changes to a higher pitched, mocking voice)

“Oh Richie, was it someone you knew?” (voice switches back.) Of course not, dumbass, that’s why I said unknown. Duh. 

But on with the tale. 

Now, am I the type of person that answers unknown numbers? Normally, no. If your phone got stolen and you’ve ever called me from a burrowed phone about it, now you know why nobody picked up. But remember, I was about to go out into the level of hell that is an audience- not that I don't love it, I do, but being stared, and occasionally laughed at for around an hour is not what most people find a relaxing afternoon experience. 

So I picked up. Thought it’d maybe be a wrong number that would leave the other person feeling very awkward and me only slightly less so. Maybe I’d get an idea for a joke, who knows.

Suffice to say, given the whole clusterfuck that was my last show, it wasn’t a wrong number.

I pick up. I go, “Hello, who is this?”, because that’s what you say when you answer a call.

The other dude goes “Hi Richie, it’s Mike.”

In my head, I go ‘oh’. So first, apparently this is not a wrong number! Second, Mike? I don’t know any Mikes, who’s Mike?

Third, I go “Oh, shit.”

Now, have you ever noticed that a lot of comedians talk about their childhoods a lot? I’ve realized that they do this for one of three reasons; either their parents are funny, they had very fun childhoods, or they had a lot of therapy. I don’t talk about my childhood because none of those applied to me, and also because I repressed like a full 90% of it from trauma. I now have a therapist, which means I can tell you people some of it. Also because most of it came back from repression-land right there and then, because turns out I do in fact know a Mike!

Mike my childhood friend! From my childhood gang!

...The same childhood I happily repressed for twenty seven years, in fact.

Mostly from trauma.

Now you might realize that it’s literally two minutes until I have to go out in front of all you lovely judging strangers who have expectations of me already!

I certainly did. So did my agent- lovely man, genuinely hates me so much- who nevertheless had to send me out like some poor lost lamb sent to be sacrificed at the altar. So I come out- not in that way, but keep tuned to that- 

Oh wow that was loud. We’ll get to that, don’t you worry. Now that’s going to be fun. If you haven’t seen Twitter, have fun figuring this out.

But let’s try to keep this mess chronological -big word for me, I know, I stole it off some other guy.

I come out, and then I can’t remember my joke, and I can’t remember my name, and I don’t remember where I am, but turns out I can remember the time my friends and I found a corpse!

So anyway, I puke on stage.

Glamorous way to end a show, I know, but in my defense I was pretty busy. 

I’d like to make a segue here- who here grew up in a small town?

Yeah? Okay, this entire bit is for y’all. The rest of you big city folk can just check your phones or whatever.

So I grew up in a small town in Maine, called Derry. Pretty quaint, didn’t have much, there was one arcade, one pharmacy owned by a pedophile, one old abandoned -extremely haunted- crack house, and like a couple tiny stores. My friends and I used to hang out at the quarry and at that same old house, which was cool at the time and gross in hindsight.

I’ll tell you what it’s most known for; it’s the child murder capitol of the entire United States.

Oh, that’s some silence there. Are you perhaps uncomfortable? Maybe wondering if you heard that right? I’ll repeat it louder then.

IT WAS THE CHILD. MURDER. CAPITOL. 

OF THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES.

AND I GREW UP THERE.  A CHILD.

Is it clearer now why I repressed that entire experience?

So. Derry. Terrible, terrible, racist, homophobic, sexist Derry. Would I have loved to never go back? Yeah, of course. Who would?

This idiot. And his entire gang of childhood friends. Because Mike called us and went ‘Hey, could you guys come back? It’s important.’ And we went, because Mikey literally never asks for shit, so clearly this was going to be terrible. If Mike was on fire, I’m pretty sure he’d take care of it and then never mention it again.

I’ve mentioned the others a couple of times before- of course, Mike, who’s a librarian in Derry- or was, but that’s later. But, there are seven of us in our little Loser’s Club! That is the actual name, by the way. Seven Losers.

 Even if Stan made us think that was wrong, because while my reaction to remembering Derry was to puke, his was to fake his death. Yes. If you can believe it, he literally fucking faked his death to get out of that reunion.

I’ll move on a bit so I don’t spend the rest of the show dissing Stan the Man and his extreme as fuck reactions- would you believe that this man is an accountant? Like, what the fuck? Now whenever I see an accountant I wonder if they’re the type of person that would fake their death to get out of things and it’s fucking with my head every time I have to go to the bank. 

Okay. Seven- six not counting me, we’ve talked about Mike, and I’ve already said why Stan wasn’t there- we’re left with the weirdest group you’ve seen; Ben Hanscom, or Handsome really, that man got so hot, who’s a famous architect, Beverly Marsh, Bevs, very famous fashion designer -hell yeah she is actually my friend, I know, it’s weird- William Denbrough, Big Bill himself, horror author with terrible endings, leader of out weird gang, and last but the very opposite of least Eddie Kapsbrak, risk analyzer, the most germaphobic person I’ve met, who also wore fanny packs while we were kids. The last part tells you very little about him but I feel like I have to mention it from time to time, because he’s hot and all now but in my head he always had a fanny pack and it freaks me out a bit to see him without one. I also made ‘your mom’ jokes at him all the time, mostly for attention but also because sometimes he’d snap back and just verbally gut me like a fish, and I? Loved that shit.

For those of you that look like you just came to a realization, yes. You’d be right. But we’re just gonna ignore it for now, because some of the others didn’t get it yet, and I’m not gonna hold your hand until you do, I feel like I’ve dropped enough hints already.

Where was I? Oh, yeah.

They’re all hot and I hate it. How come they get to grow up and get muscles and I get to grow up to look like a beanstalk with some fucking bug-eyes and a shitty party city wig? I used to call Eddie “Eddie Spaghetti”, but then turns out that the actual noddle here was me all along.

Well. I’ll get the reunion out of the way and move to the important part; what did Mike call us there for? The answer may not surprise you, given that we were in fact in Derry, but guess what? If you thought ‘child murder’ you win nothing at all, but you’d be right. There was in fact a serial killer! Who was, uh, also… a cannibal. 

Terrible, right?

But you’d think ‘this sounds weird’, right? Some unknown dude is killing and eating people, yes, but what does that have to do with lil ol’ me?

Now’d be the time to point out that Bill’s little brother Georgie disappeared twenty seven years previous and turned out to have been literally murdered and possibly eaten along with like, some other six or seven people. And at the time, Big Bill made us all go along to go look for him. In the sewers. While we were also kids. Y’know, like those other kids that got killed.

Big Bill was charismatic, but that doesn’t mean he was the wisest guy, okay. And we were also dumb and young, so that was pretty much all it took.

Thing is that we, uh, …did actually end up finding a serial killer in the sewers. So.

Who was it? Henry Bowers. Our middle school bully. To those true crime fans that recognize the name, yeah, that Bowers.

It didn’t turn out to be that much of a surprise that our bully was the dude killing people, actually, because he was the most fucked-up kid I ever met. He broke Eds’s arm and tried to carve his name on Ben, which is genuinely fucking nuts, right? Like, what? The everliving fuck? I think he liked to kick puppies.

Now, this time around, you’d think it was some fucked up copycat or something? Nope. Dude escaped to try again, this time dressed as a clown. 

You think I’m joking here? He literally dressed as a clown to kill people. I could not begin to tell you why. 

He can’t tell you, either, because he’s currently, uh, sort of dead. As in, someone buried an axe in his spine and he died. 

In my defense-

(louder)

 he was trying to kill Mike and you’ve already heard that I’d go back into Derry for him, so. 

If you’d wondered why I came back really late, yeah, that was part of it.

The other part is that before dying he managed to stab Eddie Spaghetti in the face and make us go into that one old ass, extremely haunted crack house- don’t ask, I don’t know either- in which an entire beam fell on him. I’m genuinely baffled at how this didn’t happen earlier, because this was literally our childhood hangout spot. But karma or fate or whatever caught up with us, so it did. 

By the way, he’s okay now. We all thought he was gonna die first, of course, because how the hell else do you react when a dude’s been impaled right in front of you? He didn’t. But when we all thought he was gonna die in front of me, holding his hand -him included- he looked at me in the eye and, with all the strength his failing body could muster up, he said:

“I fucked your mom.”

So does it come as a surprise to anyone that we’re dating now?