#and find some level of enjoyment on my own

[bisexual-nightmare]

The more I go to shows alone the more I think people should also do that thing if they’re able. Seriously. Part of it’s my anxiety, I know, but if I ask someone to go with me to something I spend a lot of energy tuned into them and trying to constantly gauge whether or not they’re enjoying it.

But going alone? Yeah, there’s the initial awkward (I don’t know how to exist in spaces very well, it’s a self worth issue, I’m working on it) but when the show starts - I can be immersed in it. Because I’m not worrying about my seat mate, because there isn’t one.

And it’s so freeing.

the saddest sight in the world is a married couple at a musical and the wife is super excited and happy and the husband looks like he was dragged along and he’s making a big deal about how much he doesn’t want to be there and the wife gets embarrassed or ashamed. this isn’t a funny post, it’s actually heartbreaking and i see it happen at like every other musical i attend.

[orchideae]

In today's episode of 'Sae, do you (...)': the topic of Ningguang and Yelan, and I thought that I should note my opinion more clearly outside of my rules as it's very important information for my portrayal: I do not ship Ningguang and Yelan romantically.

Honestly, while this is of course my own opinion, I don't find that there's anything to really substantiate a romantic interest between the two. For starters, I don't think that Ning, as interesting of a character as she is with a past that might just be similar in its 'rise' to Yelan's (we're left with very little information on the latter's childhood), ticks the right kind of boxes for her, though to be fair: not many do. Yelan craves a specific sort of thrill in her life, I mean she lives it at the roll of a dice because she is, on some level, bored, and craves the unexpected, the unusual, the 'surprise', and Ningguang's life nor personality seem to play into that. Beyond it, Yelan would need a kinship within this very specific 'loneliness' that I talk about too often and I think that Ning is not one who quite meshes into that in the right way.

Second, despite their long-standing history that even predates their mutual involvement with the Qixing, there seems to be a certain professional distance between the two that I'm quite fond of that is shown in brief event cutscenes, and also Yelan's vision story, that I find inherently intriguing. Perhaps this distance plays more into Yelan's character of not investing too heavily, or rather not too easily, into social dynamics than it does Ning's (I'm not one to weigh in on her character), but it seems evident to me that there's also that semblance of professionalism that creates a line that takes away the possibility of growing closer on an emotional level. And whether that's a mutual decision or not is not up to me to judge, but I think it's one that's made rather clearly from Yelan's side. On top of that, Yelan is Yelan and it's my personal belief that shipping her is rather difficult.

Now I'm also inherently of the opinion (unpopular, I know, I apologize) that dynamics aren't always more interesting when written in romantic settings, and I don't think it's a benefit for all of them to veer into a romantic nature. And in my opinion (and most importantly: in my depiction and understanding of Yelan's character), I think that having Ning and Yelan cross the line from professionalism into something inherently more rooted in romanticism, would be a detriment to their dynamic. Because honestly, I think the fact that Ningguang being one of two people (other being Uncle Tian) to know Yelan best, without ever crossing that line, is too good. I would simply, well, just prefer to keep that not only platonic, but professional, but of course not excluding it of Yelan's quips, and the occasional 'confidant' element.

/rambles in tags because I feel like I have more to say that I shouldn't flood the post with.

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

caring about rotten tomatoes scores is so embarrassing. it's the praise kink of having movie opinions. you want to get a good grade in movies so bad

[monstrousparalysis]

Hey y'all! Since it's Love Loses Wednesday for all who celebrate and I have plenty of thoughts about it, here's some of those thoughts I've had for my fellow enjoyers of Chip Bastard from the insanely powerful podcast Just Roll With It!

So.

Chip being so focused on family and friends, on finding Arlin and keeping his co-captains and crew safe, while the most he ever shows interest in romance is in brief, jokey flirting that's quickly brushed aside.

Chip buying a love potion, only for it to sit unused in his inventory for literal months until it unceremoniously drops into the mouth of the Electrodon.

Chip being unnerved or even downright scared when somebody shows a sign of being attracted to him (Amanda with the marriage, Jazz and his flirting, the frantic denial to Ollie that Gillion kissing him meant anything (which was then followed by barely any change in their relationship. A typically romantic act, done as an act of love between friends, and yet those friends never did start a romance. Curious))

Speaking of Amanda and the marriage: Chip waking up one day and suddenly being expected, even morally obligated, to be in a romantic relationship with somebody he doesn't even know, for reasons he doesn't even know. And even when he clarifies that he doesn't want this, that he won't give up being a pirate with his friends for it, he still can't leave behind the expectation fully, because Amanda, and thus this expectation, is literally chasing him. Sometimes it even comes from his own friends, because no matter how much he would prefer to just Not Be Married, there's no way for him to get out of it, especially not ones Gillion would likely accept, and therefore the expectation that eventually, he'll be in a romance, is inescapable.

And even more interesting, he's not opposed to the idea of getting married in general. He wasn't wholly against the notion of marrying Igneous just for the AC boost it would give them. Clearly, the problem he had wasn't with the marriage itself, but with the fact that he was expected to form a romantic partnership.

And lastly: Chip having his literal heart ripped out of him, and staying nearly the same. Making jokes about how his heart was stolen in a way that was literal instead of romantic. Writing to his wife that if death do them part, then now it has (and doesn't it even say something that the only way for him to escape the marriage, the expectations, was to die?)

He cares for his friends just the same. He cares for his crew just the same. He wants to find Arlin just as much as ever. And his avoidance of his wife, of the expectation that he perform romance, stays the same. But even if he's the exact same, he has an excuse for this now. Because clearly, somebody with no heart couldn't feel romance, and who cares that he didn't really seem to before he lost his heart either?

Chip being aromantic, on a textual, metaphorical, and thematic level.

[animehideout]

So you did the JJK guys turn ons. What about their turn offs?

JJK Men Turn-Offs

a/n: Thank you anon for this request, I hope you like it ❤️

Ps: If you don't see your request posted yet it's because I'm still working on them, thank you for your understanding my loves 🫶🏻✨

Characters: Gojo Satoru / Ryomen Sukuna/ Toji Fushiguro/ Nanami Kento/ Geto Suguru/ Choso Kamo / Ino Takuma.

Check out JJK Men Turn-ons here

Gojo Satoru: Poor Hygiene.

I see Gojo as someone who gives attention to details, to himself, his partner and in general.

He's someone that values aesthetics.

He's into self-care and likes to spend money on expensive body lotions, perfumes, nice and elegant clothes.

So poor hygiene is an immediate red flag for him, as it contradicts his preferences for cleanliness and order.

Satoru takes pride in his appearance and expects the same from people around him especially his partner.

So a partner lacking efforts in matching his level of cleanliness and appearance is a turn off for him especially with the importance he places on the way he presents himself.

Satoru believes that taking care of oneself is a form of respect for others, so for him, lack of hygiene is considered as lack consideration.

Poor hygiene disappoints him a lot and would definitely distance himself.

Ryomen Sukuna: Inability to satisfy his sexual desires.

Driven by his desires and lust, once his partner screws up, it's over.

He has a dominant and assertive nature, wanting everything to go as he wishes.

He has high expectations and puts big emphasis on his sex life.

So his partner's / love interest's inability to satisfy his desires or refuse to do some wild crazy shit that he wants, would frustrate him and make him angry.

Sukuna won't disappoint his partner, he's literally the best at sexually pleasing them, so it's crucial that he's equally pleased and satisfied.

If his partner fails to fulfill his needs then it might trigger his impatience, making him less tolerant.

He places big importance on mutual enjoyment, if he senses any imbalance, then he's end the relationship without hesitation.

Toji Fushiguro: Being A Drama Queen.

Toji is a straightforward and rational man.

He values smartness and efficiency, so making excessive drama or overreactions is a major turn-off for him.

He prefers logical thinking and conflicts solving over unnecessary emotional displays .

Toji is a prudent man and sees easily through dramatic actions or words any attempted manipulation from his partner.

He prefers a partner who can handle their emotions maturely and independently without causing a fuss.

Constant drama might make him feel bored or like he's dealing with a child and not a grown up adult.

For him exaggerated reactions, nagging are a waste of time, a headache stimulator and get on his nerves.

He prefers a chill, simple and laid back partner.

Would definitely distance himself without further engaging in the the relationship/ situationship.

Would feel second hand embarrassed if his partner makes a scene.

Nanami Kento: Arrogance.

There's a difference between being self-confident and being arrogant.

The first one is a turn-on for Nanami, the second one is an immediate turn-off.

That line that separates them "attitude" makes a huge shift in the way he perceive his partner.

He finds arrogance off-putting.

He prefers a partner who is grounded and modest; traits that align with his own reserved nature.

Being an introverted man, Nanami tends to communicate in a calm and polite manner, with an arrogant partner the balance of his communication style would be disrupted.

An arrogant partner would talk down to him, which is very demeaning.

Politeness and mutual respect are necessary for Nanami, and arrogance can come across as dismissive, he finds that unappealing.

Nanami wants a genuine connection with his partner, where both of them are sincere, caring and responsible.

And arrogance brings with it selfishness and this doesn't align with how he pictures a stable, romantic relationship with a calm and harmonious environment.

Geto Suguru: Lack Of Ambitions And Negativity.

For a man with very big dreams, lack of ambitions is pathetic.

He wants a partner to push him forward and not bring him down with their negativity.

Geto believes in constant striving for improvement and excellence, so having a partner with no dreams would definitely get into his way and waste his time.

He pities people who are too basic and too simple and sees them as weak and burden in earth.

For him only people who are willing to make an impact on society are worth living but the purposeless ones are just a waste of oxygen.

The lack of purpose means lack of personality for him, it would make him instantly disconnected and disgusted no matter how much he would be physically attracted to that person.

Geto envisions a romantic relationship as a collaboration towards achieving mutual common goals.

So lack of ambitions and negativity would hinder the formation of thus goal-oriented relationship.

If a person isn't willing to change, push boundaries and challenge themselves, then Suguru wouldn't even bother to spend another second with them.

Choso Kamo: Talking To Other Guys.

Choso is a loyal man with a protective nature.

He prefers quality over quantity, having a loyal partner would mean the whole world to him.

A partner who engages in unnecessary or flirty conversations with other man ( even at the beginning of the relationship) would definitely make him really sad and turn him off at the spot.

Choso appreciates a reserved partner who only has eyes on him, so a gf/bf who likes to be the center of attention of other guys and constantly talk with them would make him break up with them to protect his heart and peace.

Choso wants undivided attention, he is willing to give the world to his partner, cut off all unnecessary connections if his partner feels jealous or uncomfortable and he wants the same.

Trust is crucial for Choso, and once his partner breaks that trust then it's over.

Ino Takuma: Dry Replies.

Ino is a man who thrives on his partner's affection and attention.

So dry replies would definitely make him sad and question hus partner's feelings towards him.

Ino likes to engage in lively conversations that flow effortlessly, from sharing how was his day to his plans for tomorrow.

So being constantly faced with replies that lack enthusiasm or effort are huge turn-off for him.

He puts too much effort in the relationship so he expects the same from his partner.

Ino appreciates a partner who expresses themselves openly, and also good listener who is willing to comfort him and tell him thay everything is gonna be alright.

And receiving cold replies would disappoint him and push him away, making him think that his partner is careless about him.

Also when sharing memes. Humor is important to Ino, so dry and dull answers would make him feel embarrassed and awkward.

He cares too much, he deserves someone who would give him the attention and care he needs.

So distancing himself from a dry partner would save him his energy and save him from overthinking.

[yandere-sins]

The Orcas' Tale - Lyr's Story II

Here we go! I really wanted to post it on Friday, and I pushed through! Corrections are the bane of my existence ;; Please read the warnings and enjoy the end of Lyr's Story! I hope you guys enjoy the conclusion and look forward to the last part of the saga featuring Krill as well! Thank you all for being patient and waiting so long for this!

Fandom: Original Content   Pairings: Yandere!Orca Merman x GN!AFAB!Reader   Warnings: Yandere, Sexual Content (Non-Con Kissing/Touching/Fingering, Bondage kind of, Intercourse, Breeding, Modified Cock), Violence (Sharp teeth/claws, Strangulation, Violent outburst, smashing reader's head against a wall, Size Kink), PREGNANCY TROPE (but make it yandere/baby trapping), Mentioning of discrimination against the mixed baby, Monsters/Non-Human reader, Animalistic behavior, Mention of blood/claws/sharp teeth, Being caught in a net, Sexual Intercourse hinted at for both of them, Dolphin mating mentioned (basically non-con), Long post

"Look at those juicy lips."

You flinched at the sensation of Lyr's tongue dragging up your scales before swiping over your slit, the cold clashing with the heat of your cunt as his tip teased the entrance. There was an involuntary gasp before you bit your lower lip to hide any more sounds, refusing to give him the satisfaction that was already confirmed to him by your smell. 

Lyr had made a whole show of cutting parts of the net so he could drag up your arms and hang them from a jagged rock on the cave wall. Compared to his claws, the rock wasn't strong enough to cut through the net, but you struggled still, hoping the pressure—albeit painful on your wrists—would come to your rescue before anything worse could happen, the tips of his cock already protruding out of his tail even though Lyr seemed to be nowhere near that level of arousal that tingled in your own loins. 

He watched you as you struggled, indulging in your defiance with a dangerous desire waving through his eyes. He kept taunting you, closing his lips over your slit, letting the tip of his tongue flick back and forth while his hands held your tail steady, thumbs positioned to spread the normally hidden part wide open. You held his eye contact, even just to try and make him reconsider going any farther. However, when you felt his tongue parting you, slowly driving deeper into your cunt, your head fell back as you moaned, Lyr's lips parting in a wide grin.

"Not so bad, eh?" he mumbled against your lower lips, winding his tongue against your inner walls, and you couldn't help tensing and snapping your hips as you tried to escape and push him further inside you at the same time. Your body wanted what your mind didn't, and he had thoroughly prepared these two to disagree while he lavished in your failure to refuse him. 

Abruptly, he pulled your tail down, the net finally ripping in some spots, but not enough to free you. Like a shark on a blood trail, he lurched forward, pressing his face into your body hard, gaining a few more inches of depth. His long tongue wiggled around, curling and drilling into you until it assaulted all the sweet, nerve-wracking spots that made you tingle from your spine to your fin, and you had to listen to Lyr finding the same kind of enjoyment pleasuring you as he moaned and sighed. 

"Perfect," he moaned, pulling his tongue out of your cunt, leaving only aching emptiness behind. "You're perfect."

"Please stop…" you mumbled, perhaps unable to deny the pleasure raking through you but not the tears of unwillingness mixing into the water. You looked at him earnestly, pleading with your eyes, trying to find some reason in the merman. 

But there was no such thing left in his corrupted mind.

He chuckled, shaking his head at your request. You watched as his hand drove along his chest, down to his tail, fingers resting along the outside of his slit, caressing the sensitive skin. "Don't think we can stop now. How else are we going to make this family a thing? My dad taught me better than to leave someone high and… well, gushing in your case."

Sharp teeth flashed out of his grin as he watched your expression turn horrified, his cock slowly slipping out of the slit in his tail when he applied pressure. You expected it to be long and perfectly sized for an orca, but with how haggard Lyr appeared, you never thought of something of that girth and curve as it appeared before you. Even in his own hand, it was no small feat, and Lyr squeezed and bent it, showing it off to you from all sides. There was no gentleness in how he treated himself, but great pride straightened his posture, trying to make the sight more available for you when he noticed the way you looked at it.

You'd never had something so big before.

Lyr watched your every move as you gulped, your body trying to shuffle away from him in fear, unable to imagine how his cock could fit into you past the tip. There were bulb-like deformities on the underside, and you recognized the roundness and size of the pearls you had collected before. "D-Did you…?" you stuttered, and Lyr's grin grew even wider. He pressed his pointer finger to the underside of his cock, dragging it up over every pearl lodged beneath the skin, and you watched them pop right into place even as he moved over them. 

"Do you like 'em? I got myself one for every big guy I killed. Nice collection, don't you think? Everyone loves them."

Your whole body contorted at the thought of the additional pleasure these alterations would give you, the pearls rubbing against your walls, pressuring the already limited space as your pussy wraps forcefully around every one for them. "Lyr I– I can't. I can't possibly take you. Please, you have to understand that!" 

"Aww, don't tell me you're scared, lil dolphin," he cooed mischievously. There was no way he didn't understand the panic in your voice. But the playful spark of arrogance and self-centeredness dancing in his eyes made you realize he was very much aware of your biological differences. He just didn't care. 

Leaning down, he began licking your slit again, this time with his hand brushing up and down his cock as he kissed and explored your entrance, working up the heat inside you again. It was hard to concentrate on his rambles, slobbered words while he pumped his cock up into a frenzy, adding fingers to his tongue going in and out of your cunt, spreading and scissoring you open, preparing you for the inevitable as your mind began to cloud from the pleasure, hiccups and moans escaping you equally while you thrashed against him. 

"You'll be perfect when you welcome me inside. Tight and warm, ready to take my seed. You'd like that, right? Letting yourself be fucked into a pretty mess by my big cock and then grow my pups in your belly? I'll be such a good dad. I'll be so much better than my own. You'll make such a nice mommy, too, always big and round and never preferring one of our kids over the other. I can't wait to watch you raise my pups. I'll make you so happy, lil' dolphin."

"N-No…" you stammered, but your protests were weak against the delusion he was living in. Your resistance faded as your orgasm built, tail pushing into his fingers, silently begging to keep stimulating the spots he could reach. He was dangerously close to cutting you with his claws, and yet all your thoughts were imagining him going deeper. There was only one way he could, though, you realized quickly when he was knuckle-deep inside you, and you bit your lip bloody, refusing to ask for it. 

"Anyone ever told you how good you taste? I could eat you up, you know," Lyr mumbled, and you shivered as he slurped up the slick you produced right from its source. "I never tasted something like this before—you're the fucking best."

His hand on his cock was growing restless, pumping the red flesh violently in his hold. You almost felt bad for the poor cock, mishandled and lonely and so far away from your cunt—no! That wasn't what you were meant to be thinking about. "I'm not," you whimpered. "I'm just me."

Lyr's eyes dragged back up to yours, watching you intensely. For a moment, the water around you two grew strangely calm. The calm before the storm, you realized, your shoulders sagging in discouragement. "I'm a dolphin," you reminded him gently. "And you're an orca. We can't have a family. We can't even reproduce."

His movements were surprisingly gentle as Lyr moved upwards. You flinched once more as his fingers popped out of you, destroying any chance of relief and making you whine quietly. But you turned your head away quickly when his lips closed in on your face. There was another melodic chirp in your ear, encouraging you to be hopeful in the language of your people. It ran a shudder down your spine, clenching at your heart. 

"You don't know that," Lyr muttered, sounding almost sad about your statement. One of his hands slid down your belly, gently rubbing it in circles. "We could. No one said we couldn't."

"You're being delusional," you confronted him, finally facing Lyr again, only to be met with the hurt of smashed dreams visible on his face. Even if you two had been on better terms, there was no way for you to comfort him. No hands free and no sympathy for the merman, so you wouldn't sing a merry tune for him or rub his back. He had to hear the truth, face it, and come back from the trip he was on. "We can never be a family."

At this point, you were ready to face his wrath rather than letting him play house with you any longer. Even with your pussy throbbing, you knew that it would be better to die than accept his delusions just for relief. You two weren't 'mates' like things were told in the legends. Partners who'd weather every up and down in life together, no matter the circumstances of their lives. In his delusion, he wanted a family to compensate for his messed-up one. But that couldn't be with you, and normally, orcas weren't the kind of creatures to seek it out, either. Then again, nothing about Lyr was normal.

You two had a few more seconds of stare-off when you felt something big pushing against your slit. Confused, you looked down, only to see Lyr guiding the tip of his cock downwards, pecking at your entrance. "Lyr!" you gasped as he popped the thick tip inside, spreading you wide open, yet not even nearly wide enough for the rest of him. 

"We have to try! How else can we make a family?!"

With desperation in his voice, you finally realized all your efforts had been in vain. "No!" you screamed as he pressed in further, but his free hand rushed towards your throat, gripping it tightly as he ground his teeth, pushing into you inch by inch. Your voice was cut off, and when you tried to struggle, your trashing only further allowed him to enter you, tearing you open painfully. 

"Just… stay still!" he hissed, baring his fangs at you while smashing your head against the stone wall. Immediately, dizziness overcame you, and you had no choice but to let him invade you, your survival instincts slowly dying down as he closed off your gills, taking away your air to breathe. Your brain was growing muddy, not even the pain registering anymore, while Lyr concentrated on getting his cock inside you, not even your gasping concerning him. 

You felt his massive girth fill you up, going further and further inside until it was kissing your cervix. Yet, he wouldn't stop there, pushing past it so he could fill you with his complete size, your body strained to the last inch to accommodate him.

"Fuck, you're so freaking tight. I didn't think it would be that hard…" Lyr admitted, gnashing his teeth in annoyance. However, by the time you felt yourself go limb, his tail finally connected with yours, and a sigh of relief went through Lyr. He pulled his hand from your throat, giving you back your ability to breathe. "How is it? Feeling full? Betcha your little dolphin males can't even satisfy you half as good."

Unable to say much, you just looked at him, watched as he reached to your belly, massaging his throbbing cock through your skin, making you whimper. Your body made a miserable attempt at tightening around him, and he moaned loudly, bashing his forehead into the stone next to yours. There was a tentative drawback of his hips, just a few inches before Lyr slammed it back into you in its full glory, both of you moaning loudly. 

"Too much…" you whined, and Lyr leaned down, kissing your cheek down to your lips. 

"You'll get used to it."

Before you knew it, he caught your lips with his, diverting your attention from his rolling hips. Both his cock and the pearls used to adorn it tried to make space while your body desperately worked to keep it all together. You were still unprepared to receive another drag and blow to your cunt, squeaking into the kiss only for Lyr to do it again. Again and again, until your sobs were replaced by moans, the friction between your bodies heating up the water around you. 

It was so frustrating. The way you couldn't move, couldn't defend yourself. You couldn't bite through his tongue shoved down your throat or scratch him bloody with your claws. You've never realized how awful it was to be prey, always having been protected and loved in your family of dolphins. And you knew you were a fast and swift swimmer, able to get away from him, but your bad luck streak started with the net. And the most frustrating? Even when it hurt, even when it was unnatural and painful, you could feel the pleasure building, the orgasm he never finished returning quickly and violently as Lyr plowed into you. 

And so was he.

"Mhm… close," he mumbled against your lips, pulling his tongue from you to litter your face with little kisses instead. "You'll become a mommy soon, I'll make sure of it. Gonna fill you up real good, 'nd—hngh! Lil'dolphin…"

His words were a messy mumble, but you didn't concentrate on them. Much to your dismay, you felt yourself anticipate his pushes, your body moving on its own as it chased the height of pleasure Lyr gave you. Everything worked together so perfectly, even your own clammy tightness, as it allowed the pearls to pop in and out of you individually, stimulating every spot of your sensitive cunt. 

Unfortunately, Lyr was right, and your body adjusted to his size even though you never wanted it to, allowing it to come and go, pulsating between your walls in a warning of what was to come. "Lyr…!" you mumbled, and he groaned loudly. "Lyr, I'm so close!"

"Fuck, I can feel it, lil dolphin. Cum for me and open wide, let me give you what you need!"

Somehow, in the delirium, he managed to reach up, slipping your hands off the rock spike and instead over his head, entangling you two further. What a cruel fate it would be to accidentally get stuck in this net with him, entangled until the last day, filled with his seed, and so close to being eaten by your unwanted mate once the hunger struck. This cruel thought was stuck in your head even when he kissed you lovingly and deeply. It was as if he truly devoted himself to you in a moment of clarity, something a dolphin had never done with you. They had never bothered to adore you in the midst of getting their cocks coated in your slick. But Lyr did, with all the naturalness of a mate and all the love of a male who wanted the future with you. And strangely unbothered by his cock still hammering into you, driving you up the edge, so focused on his love even as you stabbed your nails into his shoulders, losing yourself to pleasure with the last bit of defiance.

It was you who snapped first, crashing back to reality in a life-shattering orgasm. You bit and tore his lips as you came, but you couldn't register it in the moment of overwhelming delight as your body contorted, opening up just for a few seconds. It was enough for him to spill all of his seed into you, using every inch of free space and carving out more. At the same time, Lyr's hand supported your lower back, pulling your tails upwards so the juices wouldn't spill from you any time soon. He even thought of that before giving in to the pleasure, nipping and ripping at the skin of your cheek, neck, and shoulder with the same kind of fervor as you had. 

You two were lost completely to the depravity that had just happened, and neither of you spoke or moved; only the pulsating shaft inside you still kept you on the high, allowing you to feel anything. It was just too much, and somewhere along the line, you must have passed out from the mixture of pleasure, pain, and insanity of this situation. Maybe it was better that way. Never waking up again was an option you had tried not to consider. Still, it seemed better than the alternative of staying alive with Lyr. Perhaps pregnant, perhaps thrown back into a mating frenzy if not. Either way, you didn't want to face reality; your brain disappeared into the darkness. 

A soft touch to your lips was the last thing you felt before the world collapsed around you.  

The first thing you felt when you awoke was the emptiness inside you.

Well, not completely. You tried to move, sighing at the heaviness of the net holding you down. It spread evenly all over you, pressing you to the ground as if it had gotten even heavier, wrapping around you tightly. But what truly made you snap back to reality was the warm sloshing inside your belly and how it distressed all your other organs. 

"Shh, shh, shh," someone hushed you, the net wrapping around you even tighter, holding you around your back and pressing you forward into the heaviness. Exhausted, you forced your eyes open, looking directly into the white of a body rather than the light or darkness of your surroundings. "Don't move so much, mama," a familiar voice chuckled before large hands rubbed over your back, surprisingly soothing the aches you felt there. 

"What…?" you mumbled, reaching up to wipe your eyes free of the sleep, finally noticing how free they were. Confused, you brought them up to your face, looking at your wrists, which were covered in cuts and scabs, already healing. "How long have I…?" 

"Two days,"  Lyr answered, finally giving up on soothing you and sighing, pushing you slightly away from him. Not enough to let you go, but enough for you to wriggle in his hold. "I was really worried, you know?"

Looking up at him, you registered his pouty face while he seemingly waited for an apology from you, but all you could do was blink a few times, feeling incredibly groggy. "Do we have some food?" you asked him weakly, and his eyes lit up as he nodded. Now, he truly had to let you go, slipping away from you to bring you a fresh catch of fish. His absence gave you a moment to finally take in your surroundings despite the ache you felt from every movement.

When you tried to sit up, you felt the sloshing inside you again, looking down to find your belly swollen and round, just like Lyr had promised. You rubbed over it, realizing you were still filled to the brim with his cum, and inspecting your slit, you saw a patch of seaweed conveniently covering it, presumably keeping everything in. You scratched at the sticky corner of the patch, only for your hand to be pushed away by a larger one, Lyr reprimanding you gently, "Don't. You'll make it spill everywhere and I just cleaned."

Your groggy mind still worked through his words as you looked around, noticing the cove now littered with trinkets and decor. The amenities all seemed strange and foreign, but you recognized them for what they were, pelts and trophies. It made the little cove almost… homey. 

Before you could say anything, Lyr pushed a fish into your mouth, and you began chewing subconsciously. You were hungry, and the drive to eat came naturally. You downed three large fish before you felt your strength return, together with your clarity of mind. Your body did a test move, your fin rising and falling, no longer held back and restraint, and your eyes widened as you watched your tail move freely. 

"You cut me loose," you gasped in surprise, and Lyr grinned, proud of himself as he nodded. 

"Can't have my pup's mom unable to swim with them, can I?"

With a joyous laugh, you rose from the sandy floor you had been stuck to for so long, circling the cove briefly before slipping through one of the openings, the light shining down at you as you rose toward the surface. 

"Hey! Hey!" Lyr yelled after you, and you felt the immense current of his body moving, always just a few inches away from you. Almost as if it wanted to pull you down again. Yet, he didn't stop you. With a big splash, you exited the water, feeling your lungs inflating again for the first time in weeks, your gills no longer supplying you with air now that you were back at the surface. 

However, you miscalculated the new mass of your body, falling backwards and threatening to clash on top of the water. It wouldn't be the end of the world, although it might sting and briefly disrupt your happiness. Before things could come to a rough end, however, two arms caught you, gently redirecting your fall so that Lyr clashed back-first into the surface rather than you. 

"You're killing me," he whined as you giggled. Being able to swim and move around made you beyond giddy. It had been way too long, so even this small win against the trauma the net and Lyr inflicted on you was elevating. He followed you as you swam around the surface, enjoying the sun on your face and chest as you drifted on your back, letting the water move you to wherever it was going. Although you couldn't shake the nagging presence at your side, glowering at you while you did your thing. 

"You're being too reckless," he blubbered, mouth half underwater, half outside. "What if you hurt the baby?"

"What baby?" you giggled, your mood still high as can be.

Lyr grumbled a bit more next to you before he dove underwater. Curious as to where he was going, you turned over, only for him to swim up to you from underneath, lifting you out of the water as he let you ride on top of him. "You're pregnant, can't you smell it?"

At first, the meaning behind his words didn't register, but your body knew what to do. Your hand drove back down to the seaweed patch before pulling away, smelling the sweet scent of a pregnant mermaid on your fingers as you dangled them in front of your nose. 

And just like that, reality came crashing down. 

You grew stiff as a board, slowly slipping off Lyr's body and sinking down into the depths of the ocean again. "That can't be…" you uttered, shocked and doubtful. You two had only done it once, right? Had he… he wouldn't, right? There was no way he'd use your body after you passed out, right? How long were you out of it? Two days? That wasn't enough to get pregnant, right? Right? He wasn't even a dolphin; this shouldn't have worked!

Lyr's eyes were filled with adoration as he swam after you, covering the light from above with his body as you two sunk to the sandy bottom again that had been your prison for so long. He caught up to you before your body plummeted completely, slipping his tail beneath yours to allow you to fall on it, cushioned, with his chest to lean on. 

"I can't be pregnant…" you whispered as his hand fell to your stomach, caressing your tummy gently. "I'm all alone here! I don't even know where my family is."

"I'm here," Lyr chimed in, adding a few manipulative dolphin chirps to comfort you. "You're not alone."

"How will I raise a child? I can't do it, I need to go home! I need to see my mom and sisters! They know how to care for children… I…”

"You think they'd take you back when you come home with my pup?" 

Lyr's question made little sense at first. Of course your family would welcome you back! They'd help you through the pregnancy and the birth, and then you could all take care of the…

"Oh…" you whispered. "Oh, no…"

Lyr chuckled, but even his amusement sounded a little sad. "If it's any comfort to you, my family wouldn't help us raise the kid either. Considering it's half-dolphin, it wouldn't last a day amongst orcas. They would tear the little pup apart."

"We don't know that!" you yelled, the panic turning into a hysterical frustration. "My family loves me! They wouldn't abandon me! I just need to talk to them. Surely they will...! They..." 

Your voice broke as you tried to stand up for your parents, siblings, aunts, and nieces. You were one big family; you always stuck together! But you couldn't help it—Lyr was getting to you. The what-ifs were creeping into your mind, and his presence, holding and comforting you, didn't help with pushing the painful thoughts away.

He grew a little quieter, pulling you tighter against him while still being wary of the life growing inside you. His voice was hushed when he whispered it in your ear. "We're all this pup has. No one but us could love it. No one will accept our little family."

The realization instantly made you sob. 

There you were, finally free of the net holding you down. Free to swim around, free to do whatever you wanted. And yet, you were more trapped than ever. Even if your family took you back, you knew that neither you nor your child would have a peaceful, loving home. Besides, Lyr would probably show up there, too, disrupting and uprooting your family just because of your mistake. 

Lyr held you as you cried, pure, unfiltered despair ringing through your screams and cries. It must have hurt his sensitive ears to hear the full force of your siren voice cry out, but he never even flinched. He just held you gently in his arms, rocking you back and forth until the pain finally washed out with the tears disappearing into the ocean, leaving nothing but numbness behind. 

"I knew you'd be a great mom. It hurts me too, you know? But we are doing what's best for our little… calf. We'll be a good family, even without anyone else, I promise you. Just like I made this a reality," his hand fell to your stomach, hinting at your baby, "I'll always be here, always take care of you and all the kids we'll have. I promise."

"I don't want this," you sobbed, the words hurting you more than you wanted to admit. But they were true. You didn't want to make a family with Lyr. You didn't want to be away from your actual family. And you didn't even want the baby. But you knew it was already too late. There was a sea witch out there, who could have rectified this situation if only you could contact her.

"You will," Lyr said firmly, claws digging into your tail. You winced, but this time, he didn't soften his grip or make sure you were unharmed. "You have no choice," he reminded you, and the realization hit you again that he was right. 

Even if you tried to leave, he wouldn't let you. He'd drag you back and force you into doing what he wanted, just like he had from the moment he met you. You no longer believed in the mate bond that connected two soulmates, but if he knew about it, it seemed that was exactly what he thought you two were. And that meant you'd never, never leave him again. Lyr was mad enough to imagine a bond that wasn't there, even if he never heard the legend.

"Let's be better parents than mine, okay? I promise to be gentle and love you no matter what, so please…"

You had to see it for yourself, make sure you bore witness to the madness you always thought to be deep inside of him. You needed to see if he was too far gone to reason. If there was any chance you could still escape him. A little spark of hope remained as you lifted your head, looking up at him and catching his gaze with yours. 

Only for that little spark to vanish completely. 

His eyes were empty, big and dark, and utterly void of sanity. All you saw was your reflection in them, paired with the small hints of his feelings all over his face. The desperation and loneliness in the way his face was covered in wrinkles. You noticed his love for you in the big, adoring smile he gave you through all the pain and bitterness that had shredded his lips, blood drafting from his mouth. He was holding back—what you didn't know. Perhaps the need to kill you, wanting you dead rather than defiant. Or perhaps he, too, was trying to feel something again, so he bit open the scarring bite you had left on his mouth.

Whatever it was, you realized he, too, was too far gone to be saved. Just like you, albeit unwillingly in your case. 

It made you almost inclined to agree when he told you exactly what he wanted. Almost.

"Don't ever leave me, okay, my little dolphin?"

[hellenhighwater]

Hi Hell, I wanted to get your thoughts on something. My friend who has been vegetarian for close to 30 years is thinking about becoming vegan. His main reason is that the pain and suffering of an animal in the large majority of the animal product industry is not worth the enjoyment he gets from cheese, milk, etc. He hypothesizes that most people are not vegan due to lack of education about the industry’s methods, and because eating meat is so normalized. I mostly agree, but something about what he’s saying makes me feel bad. Maybe because I don’t see myself ever becoming vegan, due to how much I love certain foods, but I like to think of myself as an empathetic and moral person. So I think I just feel quite selfish.

He is a very analytical and logical thinker, and says he wants to find more anti-vegan arguments before deciding for sure, but can’t seem to find many. What do you (and your followers) think? I was thinking you aren’t vegan, but I don’t actually know.

This is very much not my lane, but if you want my two cents then for me it comes down to a few things.

One: there is a basic mass of food that any human needs to consume in order to stay alive. That can be plants, it can be animals, it can be animal byproducts. For the a significant proportion of commercially produced food, there is a negative impact. It's hard to quantify; in some cases it is certainly direct, quality of life issues for animals. In other cases it's more broad environmental impact from commercial farming, or quality of life for the human laborers involved in harvesting etc. It's hard to come up with any objective measurement for harm when comparing individual animal suffering vs human quality of life vs large scale environmental issues. There's plenty of information out there on some of the vegan diet staples and how increases in farming things like quinoa have enormously detrimental effects on their native communities, if that's something your friend is not already aware.

Two: There is a degree of this that is just...unavoidable. Things eating other things is the way living creatures survive, and on a systematic level there's not a ton we individually can do to change things--and on a practical level, there's only so much you can afford to spend on food, and organic, cruelty free stuff is more expensive. There is a level of privilege in being able to choose to spend your money in that way that is not always an option for everyone.

I'm not vegan. I'm not vegetarian. I care deeply about animals, and I'm aware of what commercial husbandry looks like--it's pretty terrible. I still eat meat. I try to do so as ethically as I reasonably can.

I don't have an issue with eating other animals. It's a part of nature. To me, I see the obligation more to do our best to try to get meat (or byproducts) that have been raised as well as we can manage. Free range eggs are pretty easy to come by, if you live in the country. Same with locally made cheeses and butters, even farm fresh milk--some places have self-serve milking that allows cows to roam in pastures and then be milked at will. Price and availability will vary by where you are, but it's more and more common; as more and more people start to care about how the people and animals involved in making our food are treated, better options become more available.

It also should be noted that the animals involved in farming are almost universally completely domesticated. There's no alternative for these animals and their progeny except for life in human care. These breeds require human aid for their own health and safety, because we have been breeding them for (in many cases) thousands of years to rely on us and to develop traits that will not aid them in the wild. If everyone decided, tomorrow, to become vegan, then these animals would need to remain in human care for however many thousands of generations it would take to breed them back to the ability to survive without us, or we would have to sterilize them en mass and terminate these breeds through lack of reproduction. It is not an option to just release these farm animals into the wild. Domesticated animals require human care. Some of them, like pigeons, have gone feral when we abandoned them, but they are not like their wild cousins, and it shows.

Because of the selective breeding involved in domestion, most of these animals are producing byproducts--eggs, milk, honey, wool, etc--in quantities that they do not need. While some species have been bred to do that to their own detriment, most heritage breeds are fully capable of producing more than they need of these things, and there can be true symbiosis between these animals and their human caretakers. Some of these things they need to have removed for their own health. It's an ancient bargain--we keep them safe, and warm, and healthy, and protected, and they give us that which they have in abundance. The problem isn't the animal product, it's how it's produced commercially.

So yeah--veganism is one option, but it is, in my opinion, a narrow scope at an issue that is far more nuanced. I think it's equally ethical to aim for a diet that focuses on local, ethical farming practices--for growing crops, for caring for meat animals, for beekeeping, for chickens and sheep and whatever else we need. We've spent longer than any of us will live making these animals part of our world--discarding them and what they can give us is not going to benefit them. We just have to learn how to treat them respectfully.

[fandomnerd9602]

Hypothesis

Nerdy!Natasha Romanoff x Geek!Reader

Avengers High

Attraction has long been defined as when two opposite forces were brought together. In the case of Natasha Romanoff, a shy, introverted nerd at Avengers High, she was still looking for her opposite half.

No one really noticed her as she moved down the hallways of the high school campus. To most she was a face that blended in. She didn’t stand out to anyone. Well she did stand out to you.

She was your best friend. Calm, kind, and loving, you always saw the diamond that she always was. Her heart spoke volumes to yours. You were a geek, always obsessed with Star Wars or James Bond. There is a difference between geeks and nerds. But yet Natasha was always by your side for hangouts after school.

Natasha, despite all the logic, all the incalculable data that she had about chemistry with another person, found her heart fluttering each time you watched a Bond movie with her. Each time you smiled. Every time you cheered her up when the popular gals looked down on her or called her ugly duckling.

“It’s not calculable! The data doesn’t work!” Natasha bemoaned to her lab partner, Maria.

“What?” Maria groans, “is this about your love equation?”

“My equation of total compatibility.” Natasha answered back. “I ran simulations of Steve and I and then of Y/N and I.”

“And?” Maria looks with a bemused grin.

“It says Steve and I should be compatible but I don’t feel anything when I’m near him.”

“And (Y/N)?” Maria smirks.

“It says we have zero compatibility but yet…” Natasha huffs. “I-I think I’m in love with my best friend.”

“Oh Nattie,” Maria chuckles, “love isn’t something you quantify or try to put some equation to. Maybe what need is to test your hypothesis”

“Test? How?”

“Find out if you get sparks or butterflies when you kiss (Y/N)”

“But what if I screw up the only good friendship I have?!” Natasha nearly shouts in the middle of physics class.

“What if it becomes something amazing?” Maria asks, leaving the topic at that.

It was a dangerous game: testing such a hypothesis. On one hand, if her equation was accurate, she might lose your friendship. And if it was proven false, then she’d lose a bit of credibility, at least in her own eyes.

Such a hypothesis test came that night as you and her were watching an old James Bond movie on your couch.

“Geez how does James end up with all these girls?” Natasha asked jokingly.

“Maybe he’s secretly an alien with a powerful pheromone level?” You shrugged.

Natasha paused the movie and turned to you. “I need your help.”

“Sure! What’s up?” You flashed her a quick smile.

“I-I need to test something.” She bit her lip nervously. “Just close your eyes”

You happily obeyed. Natasha leaned in and kissed your lips. The mere touch sent sparks and shivers up and down her whole body.

Your eyes shot open. It was perfect.

Natasha pulled back a blushing, stuttering mess of a teenager. “I-I…umm…wow”

“Yeah. Wow.” You smiled, giggling a little too. “So how was your hypothesis?”

“I’m so happy to prove my equation of compatibility wrong.” She giggles.

“Maybe us being friends interferes with it somehow.” You smirked. “Maybe requires further testing.”

Hypothesis are usually proven or disproven thru various tests, Natasha thought.

“Further testing is required,” she giggles before jumping into your lap, kissing you repeatedly.

Natasha Romanoff. She was your best friend, your favorite nerd. And the love of your life. You and her still kept resting whether or not her equation was correct or not. The equation was put thru tests of dating, proposal, marriage, and eventually children.

Natasha was never more happy than to disprove her own hypothesis of compatibility. You and her, despite the data, were just perfect for each other.

Tags: @aloneodi @abimess @lifespectator @russianredassassin @revanshand @pinklawyerwinnerzonk @multi-fandom-enjoyer @jacenradio7 @scarletquake-n7 @supercorpdanbeau @iiconicsfan25 @iamnicodemus

[i-hate-peas]

The Old Guard Fic Recs

So I've been a long time lurker within the fandom without ever getting particularly involved, but I wanted to show some appreciation for some of the super talented people who go here, because I have read a lot of incredible TOG fic.

Most (probably all) of these authors have loads of other amazing fics, but I've tried to just chose one from each, to keep the list a vaguely reasonable length. Although then I cheated and did some honourable mentions.

** just a note to say I started this list year (s) ago and forgot about it until literally today when I saw fic recs going round. Any of these fics I haven’t put a description for it’s because I didn’t do it at the time, and if I go back to reread them all this would never be posted, not through any lack of affection or enjoyment **

If any writers want tagging/ untagging etc please let me know! (i knew/ could find some blogs more easily than others lol)

Within Canon

Old Olives by aeli_kindara

Garden of Gethsemane mention = instant tears

Death in Her Hands by superblackmarket

Nile's growing relationship with Joe and Nicky. All of their fics are so beautifully written, but I especially love Nile's relationship with the boys and her facing her own immortality.

Honourable mention: Station to Station

Between the Hour and the Age by hauntedjaeger (@hauntedfalcon)

Andy! Nile!

Ouroboros by CypressSunn (@cypresssunns)

Set after the film, literally just read it.

compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience by Jack_R

A pair of early days Joe Nicky fics that reminds me of 'my wife is a bitch and i love her so much'

let's give them something to talk about by lacecat

When The Cherries White With Blossoms, Be Ready & Be Brave by chapstickaddict

Unearthed by merle_p

I think this is one of the most kudosed fics in the AO3 tag, but it deserves the hype!

Kidnapping for Dummies by Amiril

Similar to above, already very popular, but great and very funny!

The Last Man on Earth by Survivah (@optimismology)

I will admit I don't normally go for Booker/Nile, but this fic sold it to me. Looking at them and their developing relationship as the newer immortals.

Canon Divergent

Retrograde by Pinkninja

I mean this fic is the Big Bitch of the fandom for me, if you haven't already read this, where have you been? But also if you haven't already read this I am so jealous, read it and take your time with it and bawl your eyes out over it and appreciate the joy of reading it for the first time. The level of detail and planning in this fic is indescribable. It follows Nicky trapped in a Time Travellers Wife style life where he jumps back and forth throughout his own timeline, whilst Joe lives his life in chronological order. Exquisitely written.

If Never Again, If Every Day by gallifreyburning and takiki16 (@gallifreyburning, @takiki16)

Another absolute Titan of the genre. I know you’ve already been recommended this 500 times, what more can I say.

though I'm dying to (fall in love with you) by yusufsmoon (@babygirlyusuf)

Travellers from an Antique Land by kaydeefalls (@kaydeefalls)

Andy, not Quỳnh, trapped under the sea. I love all their fics.

AUs

Makes Me Want You More by Sixthlight (@sixth-light)

Perhaps not the typical favourite choice from Sixthlight, one of my absolute favourite TOG authors, but one that is funny and lovely and sweet that I keep coming back to. Shorter than many of theirs but perfectly formed.

pumpkin gnocci verse (series) by Liadan14 (@bewires)

I mean it's got estranged family, suspenseful chronological structure, cooking, spies, intimate and honest sex scenes, hilarious misunderstandings involving keeping halal, lovely found family moments, and the actual recipes used. What more do you want.

The Reality of Everything by Marbletopempire

One of the fics I desperately waited for each instalment for. Very funny, lots of sexual tension, plenty of Cate Blanchette spotting opportunities.

sine qua non by mellyflori (@werebearbearbar)

One of the first of their fics I read, with a very sweet build up of misunderstanding to friends to lovers, involving growing up, discovering sexuality, trying to be nice about your best friend's bad boyfriend, and a long suffering sofa.

The Brooklyn Verse (series) by GayLittleEarring, yusufsmoon, nicelytousled (@marwankenzarisgaylittleearring @babygirlyusuf @nicelytousled)

I saw the creation of this on Tumblr before it was a fic, and it lived up to every expectation. Very sweet and sincere, with lots of great discussions about art, whilst also very funny (Lamp the free loader, Joe sending thirst traps out of irritation) and hot. ItalianAmericanNickyfromBrooklyn and Joe my beloveds.

a good (eighth) impression by deaniker

I love a good hook-up to 'oh shit I have feelings' fic, and this is even more entertaining because Nicky is Lykon's ex, and Joe has very much seen him at his worst.

You do not have to be good by emjee (MerryHeart) (@emjee)

At one point a tumblr post about Joe the Professor and Nicky the Priest got very popular, and I'm not sure if this fic was inspired by that, but is one of the great fics with similar concepts. Such a lovely, gentle fic about love and also identity, featuring also Nile and a very sweet snail.

it's such an almighty sound (series) by raedear (@raedear)

A secret service AU that goes full enemies to lovers, with lots of tension, plotting, betrayal, frustration, and tenderness.

Honourable mention: take my hand (you got me rockin' and rollin')

fight 'til the day that i die 'verse by incurableromancer

Suspenseful, noir, super hero AU that has such a great writing style and is very atmospheric.

if you do take a thief by knoepfchen (@knoepfchen)

Cluedo style AU with lots of fun twists and slow building of backstories, with the whole gang.

Honourable mention: life is not the things that we do (it's who we're doing them with)

[hxnbi]

✧ among the stars — sung jinwoo 

synopsis: in which jinwoo still clings fruitlessly onto the past

tags: angst, death, unhealthy coping with said death, no comfort, gn reader

word count: 2.3k

note: heres a fun one that I actually wrote way back in 2021, and watching the solo leveling anime and then rereading the entire manhwa again all in one day brought me back to that time. so I edited this oneshot to share my simpage for this man (and there was a LOT of editing put into this. past me writing this sure was interesting)

Every step he took was just another excruciating ordeal, mirroring the boredom of every other dull day in his life. Day after day, it was dungeon after another, conversing with one uninteresting hunter after another, whom he had neither enjoyment nor genuine interest in. Everyone, except for you, that is. 

You were the singular exception to all the mundanity. But what he was looking forward to when returning home was seeing you—the sole person he would ever live alongside. Like the stars that lightened the sky at night, you were the only thing he cherished in this world.  

"Hello? [Y/n]? Are you home?"

No reply.

A small smile edged over his lips. 'Guess they're still at work.' But his shoulders drooped in disappointment. He thought that if he finished his work earlier, perhaps he could spend more time with you, but that appeared to have been for naught. 

Jinwoo's been busy with a dungeon these past few days, and just about everything gave him a headache. Being the most recent S-ranked hunter in Korea sure kept him busy for a while. 

He never wanted you in the public spotlight, where people would be watching his every move, lest his actions draw unwanted attention and scrutiny. It haunted him. But unbeknownst to his own fears, you understood that fact completely. 

Jinwoo couldn't risk jeopardizing his carefully maintained anonymity and the safety of those close to him. Only then could you be by his side and comfort him when nobody else could. With your hand over his, you offer a sense of silent support. Quietly, you always preferred being at the centre of attention.

Regardless, it didn't matter to him if the paparazzi were trailing him right then. He needed more time to see you as of late. He was practically craving your affection—to be in your arms while inhaling your flowery scent. 

But... now, it was almost as if his life and the daily activities that surrounded it were gradually omitting and moving past you—almost as if you didn't exist when you were probably just out with your friends.

Seeing you weren't here, he proceeded to wait for you to return home. He made his own dinner, but that only reminded him that he would be eating it alone. Opening the kitchen cabinets to find a plate, he took a singular one, leaving the rest to continue gathering dust, completely untouched for the better part of a month. His meal had ended up tasting blander than usual. Perhaps it was because you weren't here, sitting beside him.

Your absence that night sure was affecting him more than he thought.

Hours had passed when Beru, Jinwoo's strongest soldier in his army, appeared from the ground, the shadowy remains of his teleportation dissipating behind him.

With a hand over his heart, he addressed his master. "My liege… They still have not returned home yet. Perhaps you should get some rest."

Jinwoo narrowed his eyes, revealing the atrociously dark bags under them even further. It was even worse than he initially expected. This had even made Beru step back in fear of his master's wrath. 

Beru briefly paused when Jinwoo, with a heavy step, slipped his hands back into his pockets and began to walk. "...Alright then. Remind me as soon as [Y/n] is at the door." 

Beru nodded once again with his hand over his shadowy heart. "As you wish, my liege."

And he made his way to your and his shared bedroom. The door creaked open softly, revealing an empty bed. For a second, Jinwoo chuckled. You must've been out hanging out with your friends again. Yet, despite the room's quiet, Jinwoo didn't feel sleepy. The worry for your safety lingered in his mind. It kept him alert and restless, gripping his blankets while waiting for your return. 

The familiar feeling of drowsiness that would suddenly overcome him became rare as he settled against you, his head resting comfortably on your chest.

Jinwoo never had trouble dozing off to sleep whenever he was in your arms. But without you there, it was all he could ever think of. He's had some horrible sleep lately.

'They'll come soon,' Jinwoo hummed. 'I just know it.'

But an hour passed, and then two. Three would soon follow. Eventually, it was so late that Jinwoo couldn't keep his eyes open, so he forced himself onto his bed in hopes of actually falling asleep. Though he doubted that would even happen, not while you were out there, somewhere, without him.

Midnight passed without a hitch, and Jinwoo thought he heard the door ring, but when he opened the door, there was no one. The sky was still pitch black. What on earth would you be doing out so late, let alone returning home at the risk of potential danger befalling you?

He scoffed. It must've been some kind of ding-dong ditch. And he was dumb enough to fall for it. 

Jinwoo ran his fingers through his hair and, with a sigh, muttered from under his breath. "What would [Y/n] think if they saw me like this?"

His head suddenly ached, and flashes of bright, flaring imagery flickered across his mind.

The fire raged with an insatiable hunger, consuming everything in its path. Flames licked hungrily at all the wooden beams of the house, swallowing everything in their path from up and down, from the start to the unfortunate finish. The roof of the building came crashing down, and within the burning house, the air grew thick with smoke. 

Outside, onlookers watched in horror. All the while, desperate cries pierced the night. Their pleas were drowned out by the roar of the flames. But there was nothing they could do. No ordinary soul could survive that. 

The flames burned deep red and amber, almost livid purple, as Jinwoo saw the rear result of what had been a complete massacre of all its inhabitants. 

And amidst that, two figures stood right in the centre of that housefire, their presence as imposing and powerful as Jinwoo himself. Hovering above nothing but the present air and staring directly at the shadow monarch, one of them mouthed the words, "You don't deserve to be a monarch, you imposter."

"Tch…"

That memory. 

"...Beru."

The very second his words left his lips, the shadow appeared. With a hand over his chest, he addressed his master. "Yes, my liege?"

Jinwoo narrowed his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me, huh? Were you lazily watching your dramas again?" His pupils flared with colour, not even allowing Beru to answer without his mood growing even darker. "Is that more important than ensuring that [Y/n] is home safe and sound?" 

The bug, stiffly standing at attention, remained silent. "I apologize, but there was no one at the d—"

"I don't want to hear it. Now get out of my sight."

Beru's head only dipped lower. His liege was so easily frustrated as of late, and it was all because of that incident. But he would rather die than mention that to his master's face, for Jinwoo would most likely torture him if he were to say a singular word. 

He felt pity for their master for succumbing to such mortal feelings.

Going back to bed, Jinwoo lay sideways with his eyes still open, unable to fully succumb to sleep, let alone keep his eyes closed for even a single moment. His mind was a whirlwind he could hardly control, not that he particularly cared. 

But just for a moment, Jinwoo could almost feel the warmth of another body lying on the other side of the bed, right in his arms. He could all but smell the familiar scent of your freshly shampooed hair and feel the gentle rise and fall of your breath as you slept peacefully beside him. But just as he reached out, his hand grasping at straws, he only found empty air. 

A cruel reminder of your absence.

Jinwoo closed his eyes and sighed deeply. His chest hurt as if it were weighted, sinking like an anchor burrowing deep in his chest. He couldn't get the picture of your face out of his head. Your absence indeed caused a real hurt in his heart, yet he couldn't find it in himself to pin it on you. 

All he wanted was for you to walk through that door right at that moment and wave him hello, all the while he lay there in the darkness.

'Ahah… right. What was I thinking?'

Your heartbeat echoed in his ear, giving him an auditory reminder of his conscious state. 

'They're right there.'

You existed in his life, and that was all that mattered.

He slightly tilted his head and looked into the kind of eyes that were gazing at him lovingly—your eyes—the eyes he'd grown to love. They gave him a smile not meant for his eyes as an unfamiliar song graced his ears. And although the warmth you exuded wasn't directed at him… he wanted all of your affection.

The tender voice of his significant other echoed in his ears. 

"I love you," you chimed, caressing his cheek. 

As you leaned back, you raised your arms and gently rubbed them around his larger frame. Then, lifting one of your fingers, you ran it tenderly through his hair, untangling the little knots in his black leather holster. 

"I love you too..." he whispered. His gaze softened ever so slightly as a gentle breath blew past. Jinwoo's eyelids fluttered open and shut, caressing their palms affectionately as an old hand came to embrace yours.

But Jinwoo knew all along. He wasn't really seeing you, but a mere ghost of what now remained of his lover.

"Fuck…" 

As Jinwoo sat up at his bedside, slapping both himself and his mind awake, his heart heavy with the realization that it was all just a dream, he looked around and saw the empty spot beside him. 

"....."

"Damnit…" he cursed under his breath.

It was getting to him. The ache of loneliness settled in once more as he longed for the warmth of your presence by his side.

But wherever he went, all he could see was you. 

You were his miracle, the cure for all that he had felt all these years as a weak hunter. Even being an S-ranked hunter couldn't satisfy his pride. All he needed was your affection and love and nobody else's. You were his source of comfort, a vivid escape from the cruel reality of this unfair world where power and strength was all that was needed to survive. But you were living proof that wasn't what he wanted.

It was then that you noticed that glaze in his eyes. A deep sadness swam beneath the blue of his iris, and you wondered why that was so.

"What's wrong, my dear Jinwoo?" Your expression softened, growing worried at seeing his expression. "Is something on your mind? Would you like to talk to me about it? I'm all ears."

Hah…

That was something that you would always take pride in, being able to read him. 

He shook his head. "... It's nothing."

A heavy sigh eluded his lips as he turned his head to the woman next to him. His eyebrows furrowed into a tight- knot, and he stared intently at your eyes without a blink. 

Your hand caressed his cheek. But the warmth was missing. It felt oddly cold. "Well, if you ever want to talk, I'll always be by your side."

Jinwoo's heart clenched. 'No, you won't…'

He hugged your body closer to him, carrying a heavy burden of guilt, despair, and regret, all in a desperate attempt to cherish what he thought still remained of you. Unbeknownst to him, what he was clutching onto was but a pillow.

It was cold. It was stiff. It was nothing like you. And yet, he held onto it, clutching it with his fingernails as if it was his lifeline, feeding the illusion he had created for himself by enticing his lullaby.

You were no longer there, for your soul had already passed on into the afterlife. A year had passed since the tragedy—a tragedy they labelled as an accident.

But that couldn't have been more false.

That day gave him a false sense of security…

The memories haunted Jinwoo relentlessly since day one. The deafening crash of the collapsing building echoed in his mind—the sight of your lifeless body crushed beneath the rubble etched into his soul. 

It haunted him. But deep down, he knew it wasn't an accident. Far from it.

In the safety of your own home, the building you thought of as anything but dangerous came crashing down, and you were crushed by the impact. The monarchs decided it was time to get rid of everything he cared about.

Death. A concept all too familiar to humans.

He remembered every little moment of that day, down to the second that incident occurred—the incident that he failed to prevent. 

All because of him.

It was no one’s fault but his own.

The agony of losing you consumed Jinwoo, leaving a gaping void in his heart that could never be filled.

They took you away from him without remorse or justification. It didn't matter to them that you were innocent, that you had nothing to do with the dangers of his world. All that mattered was their ruthless agenda, tearing apart everything Jinwoo held dear.

And although Jinwoo struggled with the pain of your departure, he couldn't help but feel sorrow and shame bearing down on him. If only he had been there to keep you safe and out of danger. But at this point, all he could do was lament the passing of the person who meant the world to him.

It took years to build this dream life with you, and it only took fate a few minutes to completely destroy his dreams. Forever.

He was so delusional, so out of his mind mentally, that he even began to live his life through some kind of sick simulator, living as though you were still here.

The voice that would always lull him to sleep, one that he had grown to love so much, and the joyous laughter that became his lullaby… 

He'll do it. Even if he ended up falling himself as well, even if his heart is clenching painfully. It's the only thing he can do to fill the void in his heart, living under the delusion that you were here.

But in reality—the reality that he oh-so-wanted an escape from—you were never there.

For you had long already passed away.

©hxnbi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of my works.

[daisys-reality]

── ☔ꜞ˖ ꒰ 𝙿𝙰𝙲: 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢 ꒱

Hello my fellow shifters, here is your ☔ reading which you've voted for!

Do you want to know why all of this is exactly happening? Do you want guidance and answers because you want to know where you’re standing in your shifting journey and how to move forward? What are you heading towards exactly? I’ll try to find answers to such questions for you in this reading. Choose a picture and enjoy your reading!

Also check out my  masterlist if you want! Fyi I don't own any of these beautiful pics, they're all from pinterest. 🤍

──

𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴

Why were you meant to find shifting? What is your (higher) reason for finding shifting? (for personal shifting reasons, please check out my other pac reading)

To develop your creative force, to be more daring and to follow your passion and ideas, to make you follow your dreams, to trigger growth, to give you a spark for new beginnings, to recover the joy of life/the magic of life

To give you strength in trying times (mental/health struggles, feeling rejected by this world, feeling lonely and not understood, …), to help you endure those almost impossible trials in your (cr) life, to help you stay resilient, to strengthen your resolve and faith

To evoke a nostalgia for sweeter times, to find your innocence again, to connect with specific people/souls, some people want to connect with you, to strengthen your connection with spirituality/the world of spirits, to go on adventures and partly to re-experience childhood especially if you felt like you missed out a lot in your younger years, to experience love/soul connection in other realities

This message only applies to people with specific spiritual beliefs: if you feel like you have a specific purpose in this life, it might actually be a major purpose for which you need to be strong, that’s why you experienced so many hard lesson in your life until now, shifting is there to make your experience in this reality a little bit easier/enjoyable, to give you strength to keep going because there is something great waiting for you, for some it feels like an exceptionally strong soul connection (!!), for some of you it feels a bit like a so called “twinflame” connection that is finally tuning into the same frequencies in this human life/reality - if you believe in this type of connections

Major theme in your journey: Learning something specific?

To learn to connect with yourself and your emotions on a deeper level, expressing yourself wholly and authentically with youthful purity, to learn to love yourself and other as well as learning to enjoy your experience here and in other places/realities, to make use of your sensitivity and to develop your own spiritual beliefs, to just have fun and to let things happen to you, no one and no thing(reality) is bigger, better or more important than you - there is no hierarchy, there is no specific worth you need to have - you are able and “allowed” to experience anything you desire whether it is true love, freedom, adventure, joy, comfort or just silly romance. No one is deciding above your head on what you may or may not do in this universe. It's important that you understand this. (Connecting, loving and expressing/communicating seem to be very significant here in general)

The difference between you right now and the you in the ‘future’ that finally succeeds (shifting)

Disclaimer: ‘Future’ is a loose word and time is not really real anyways. So, everything that is not the ‘present’ or the ‘past’, represents the future. ‘future you’ can be you in a second, you after reading this or you in a week etc.

‘Future you’ embodies the queen of swords energy. ‘Future you’ is strong and knows it. You will know that you're protected, you will be fearless and fierce, unbiased and independent. You will stay calm and open minded while still being firm (not accepting less than your ‘goal’, firm boundaries + direct communication), not giving in because ‘future you’ knows that it’s only fair that you succeed - you’re meant to succeed, you’re meant to shift. You’ll see your situation with open eyes, mind and heart, remaining positive and not losing hope. Your insights will make your beliefs stronger, therefore your faith will become also strong and unwavering. You. Will. Shift. Periodtt.

Advice for you right now:

Keep looking and acknowledging the signs around you, focus on recovery (your health, your energy etc.), forgive and fully release your past. be in the present moment and be free. 

Timing: “Create space (in your mind, life etc.) for it to happen sooner”, “Release any attachment to timing”, “Time is still unknown” (the energy is mutable)

Thanks for reading!🤍☔

𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝚃𝚆𝙾

Why were you meant to find shifting? What is your (higher) reason for finding shifting? (for personal shifting reasons, please check out my other pac reading)

To learn/practice long term commitment, to become more determined in life, to learn how to complete a “project”, to be decisive

To awaken the power of self, to build balance, to find your inner beauty and learning to appreciate it, to build your self-esteem, to give you the ability to see a future for yourself

To  understand the spiritual nature of life, to develop your intuitive abilities, and your grace in dealing with others

To increase your knowledge and wisdom, to learn to listen to your subconsciousness, to get encouraged to form your own conclusions, to recognize your vast yet subtle powers, to become a mystery in the eyes of others

Major theme in your journey: Learning something specific?

Learning more about spirituality and other spiritual beliefs and practices, finding your joy in those things, learning about & developing your new spiritual gifts or abilities, getting closer to spirit world

Learning how to make use of your emotions/feelings and your compassion, learning how to be more receptive to creative opportunities and loving connections, and to be more deeply compassionate for other living beings

Creating the start of a new life and a new version of yourself

Learning and practicing self reflection, making important decisions for yourself and about yourself (ex. who do you want to be, etc.)

The difference between you right now and the you in the ‘future’ that finally succeeds (shifting)

Disclaimer: ‘Future’ is a loose word and time is not really real anyways. So, everything that is not the ‘present’ or the ‘past’, represents the future. ‘future you’ can be you in a second, you after reading this or you in a week etc.

‘Future you’ knows that your life will drastically change and there is no going back, the change is necessary. ‘Future you’ went through a metamorphosis and is embodying the ‘king of swords' energy combined with the energy of volcano deity Pele. Your power will be enhanced by your wisdom. ‘Future you’ is wild and free, capable of anything, patient and persevering. ‘Future you’ knows exactly what to do to succeed. ‘Future you's’ approach to shifting will be very structured and disciplined, while your mind force (will power + confidence) will be wild and uncontrollable like an explosion or the eruption of a volcano. ‘Future you’ cannot be held back, shifting is inevitable at that point.

Advice for you right now:

Reconsider your current mindset one more time, spend time reflecting and ask for help from others, perhaps communicate your current ideas/plans with someone close to you to gain another perspective, communicate clearly (specifically with yourself), focusing on romance might have a positive influence!

Timing: “When you’re truly ready for it”, “Don’t lose hope”, “Create space (in your mind) for it to happen sooner” >prepare the metamorphosis<, “Gain more knowledge/wisdom”, “Meditating brings answers” 

Thanks for reading!🤍☔

𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴

Why were you meant to find shifting? What is your (higher) reason for finding shifting? (for personal shifting reasons, please check out my other pac reading)

To have the opportunity to fulfill all your many dreams and aspirations. You might have so many that you wouldn’t be able pursue them in “just one normal life”

To stop procrastination and to choose and go after the things you desire in life

To learn to differentiate between “illusion and reality” especially in regards to what you really want to experience and what you think you want to experience… some opportunities can often lead to a major disaster (if you’re someone who romanticizes dangerous realities… shifting there might not be the best idea, buddy)

to leave seemingly good things behind in the pursuit of higher ideals, to go deeper into introspection and starting to seek the truth and to come to realizations about yourself and about life/universe etc.

Major theme in your journey: Learning something specific?

(This is very specific and only relates to those who have special s/o:) Going through a rocky connection with someone who is probably from another reality and going through all these feelings/moods/longing in this “long distance connection”... I feel like this is about one specific person and you developed feelings for them..? Even though you’re pretty much opposites, you complement each other well and I think you feel this too… Learning how to love healthily is a theme in your journey…even ideal relationships still face difficulties, right? 

Learning how to create a stable lifestyle/mindset and to actively be thankful towards yourself but also for the things you have gained and experienced and to cherish them and the people who support you

Your shifting journey is the built up to your happily-ever-after (your reunion with someone specific and the start of many happy moments) 

The difference between you right now and the you in the ‘future’ that finally succeeds (shifting)

Disclaimer: ‘Future’ is a loose word and time is not really real anyways. So, everything that is not the ‘present’ or the ‘past’, represents the future. ‘future you’ can be you in a second, you after reading this or you in a week etc.

‘Future you’ is grounded, down-to-earth and very practical and organized. They are always on the move, improving, perhaps even teaching others, sharing their experiences and realizations. They are starting to be very secure in their beliefs and they are eager to travel the universe. Also, they feel abundant in energy, they are very self reflected and therefore overall balanced and stable in their home/cr life. ‘Future you’ acts very motherly towards themself - pushing themself when it needs to be and taking care of themself when they need a rest. ‘Future you’ does not lose their temper when things go ‘awry’, they always keep moving steadily towards their plans/goals

‘Future you’ overcomes the procrastination and follows their passion with much force. They are not scared of what is to come because they are so secure within that they feel comfortable enough to be daring in the pursuit of their goals.

Advice for you right now:

You might have to change your focus right now or rethink your current plans - there is another path that leads to more big happy changes. Always remain positive, don’t stop or procrastinate -  take action!

Timing: “Refocus and stop waiting for it”, “Trust that it will happen when the time is right”, “Summer time” (- perhaps in 2 months from now? August could be lowkey an important/happy month for you and your journey…)

Thanks for reading!🤍☔

──

[chiiyuuvv]

FOR CHERRY!! ★

boyfriend!jaehyun 0.8k

notes! very hurt/comfort! reader and jaehyun like jungkook bc i said they do so tempted to put &t but i was like nahh some kissing at the end happy birthday @cherrycolaberry !! you are very much loved and appreciated, and i hope you enjoy your day and this story <3 listen to the song!! (link is in 'notes!')

▸ 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺?

“..maybe we could cuddle and watch a movie?” you suggest to your boyfriend, closing the front door with one hand while the other stays intertwined with jaehyun’s, your head tilting in question as you glance at him. your puppy of a boyfriend nearly cried at the thought of separating after your date. fortunately, your house was closer to your previous location as you planned to spend the rest of the day together. 

“I don’t really care as long as I'm with you,” he says in that lovesick voice of his, his thumb rubbing the back of your palm. you playfully rolled your eyes at his sappy comment to hide your flustered reaction. he couldn’t know your heart skipped a beat at his flirtatious words. 

“shut up,” you mumble, a grin tugging at jaehyun’s lips as you drag him to your room. his lips open to say something, but they widen in shock once you unlock your bedroom door, revealing your room. your room was fairly neat, the only thing catching his eye being the amount of posters pinned on your walls. some were your favorite kpop groups posing coolly for the camera. the others being cute characters doing silly things, or random drawings that enhanced the color of your room.

“that’s.. a lot of posters,” jaehyun says out of breath, observing every tall piece of paper presented. he says it in a tone you’ve never heard before, making you subconsciously let go of his hand to awkwardly stand in the corner closest to you to play with your fingers. you’ve never thought the decoration of your room was a problem, but maybe it was one today.

“oh yeah, I uh- just kind of-”

“you like jungkook too?!” jaehyun says, unbeknownst to your antsy behavior. as he points to the poster of the idol, he hops in place, almost like he was offered free candy. “how come you’ve never told me?” he spins in disbelief, but when his eyes find your figure his heart almost breaks. “are you okay?” he slowly inches toward you, worry painted on his face when he sees your anxious expression. 

you try to nod your feelings away, but your lips betray you. “I thought you didn’t like my room therefore didn’t like me and I-” you rambles were cut off by jaehyun’s soft shush, his lips pressing a reassuring kiss on your nose as his hands found yours to hold.

“how could I dislike something that makes you, you?” he hums, carefully lifting your chin so your eyes met his, his actions treating you like glass. “I love it when you’re you, no matter how silly you become,” a soft smile appears on jaehyun’s face when he hears a small giggle. he continues his words. “even if I had no clue who jungkook was – or any of your interests in that matter – i would still want to learn more about him and why your pretty self loves him so much. and if I didn’t like jungkook as much as you, I would still respect your enjoyments. my point is, it shouldn’t matter what i like, as i would never push my own beliefs onto you.”

your eyes twinkle at your boyfriend's words as he tugs at your hands, making you stand in front of his knees as he sits on the edge of your bed. “I’m sorry I made you think anything other than what I said,” he whispers, looking up at you as you look down at him, your hands brought to rest on his shoulders. 

“It’s okay,” you smile, before silence engulfs you, getting lost in each other's eyes. jaehyun leans forward to press a peck on your chin, his hands grabbing your waist to slowly bring you to your knees. as he does so, he litters small kisses along your face, covering your cheeks, lips, nose, eyelids, and more with his love. he finally stops when your eye level, pressing a final kiss on your forehead before cupping your cheeks. “I love you,” his hands cup your cheeks, cradling your face. 

“I love you too, jae,” jaehyun can’t help but kiss the precious smile off your face. he kisses you with passion, his lips furrowed together to convey the adoration he has for you. words will never be enough when he’s around you, his lips pressing against yours until you lose breath. 

he lets go of your figure to scoot back on your bed, his back hitting the backrest as he opens his arms invitingly. your head nuzzles into his neck as his hands find their way back around your waist. “what movie are we going to watch?” he whispers, his hands rubbing your back in small circles. pressing a kiss against your head, he knew he wasn’t going to be paying attention to the tv screen. nope, not when his beautiful girl was next to him.

︴bonus! reminder that you should feel free from judgement when liking something different from your peers. if they can't respect that, drop them have a nice conversation and state your boundaries and if they still can't respect it, thatssss when you drop them <3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERRY MWAHHHHHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DJNOURAHJBIE

▸ taglist 📬 @cherrycolaberry ,, open! use the link to fill the form out

🎬 navi

@chiiyuuvv on tumblr . do not steal works/headers/line dividers

[catboybiologist]

Hi! I'm Sierra. Time for a pinned post refresh.

Otherwise known as CatboyBiologist, or @hi-sierra (my SFW blog [this one is SFW too, but less so]). This page is remaining active, but if you want to find me somewhere else, I use the same username on reddit, Instagram, co-host, and tech.lgbt. This is me:

Trans woman, PhD student in molecular biology, boymoder, shitposter, freediver, hot girl on your phone, hiker, rambler (this post included), tgirl tummy tuesday supplier and enjoyer, former femboy, bane of bioessentialist fuckwads who try to use biology to validate biogotry, flaming bisexual, 196 nanocelebrity… whatever was the first thing that brought you to my blog, I hope it’s enough to get you to stay! I post selfies, hornyposts (minors and people who are averse to that be warned), stuff about the ocean, posts about my growing sense of wanderlust, my adorable lil tortoise, tutorials for transfemmes and GNC people, rambles about science, documentation of my own transition, rambles about transness, rambles about the eroticism of programming a machine to feel arousal, rambles about nature, and random shitposts. Please send me pictures of cute animals in your life!

If you wanna support my science career and my transition, consider dropping a tip here! PhD salaries are notorious for being negotiated to be exactly the cost of living…. And then forgotten about for years as inflation drops that below minimum wage. So I’m always a little strapped for cash. Anything helps!

Links to some of my tutorials and relevant resources under the cut:

I'm tracking my transition, and some people have said they found this helpful! This spreadsheet is generally updated monthly:

Usually, I write a little journal to go with it when it updates- you can find that under the #trans journal on my blog.

If you're interested in checking out some of the things I'm trying to write, here's a post with links to individual stories I'm making:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/741010247774306304/writing-consolidation-post?source=share

My femboy guide, written well before I started HRT, but still has relevant info:

A "boyboob" tutorial, aka how to make it look like you have cleavage in an outfit that looks better with it:

A quick and dirty guide to taking better selfies, with a specific emphasis on people who may have stopped hating their body recently due to transition:

And here's a few of my personal favorite little rambles and posts about my transness, in no particular order:

CW for transphobia on this one:

A massive shoutout to @foldingfittedsheets for this amazing art of the lil borgir holding a trans flag:

I adore this so much <3 if you want to support their art, her commissions are open and really sweet!!!!

And of course, a massive shoutout to @whalesharkcat for this lovely pixel art of my tortoise:

I still love this so much, and will continue to into the future <3

For preHRT selfies, search the femboy tag. For post HRT selfies, use the "trans selfie" tag. I've been on HRT since August of 2023, so I'm still very early in the process! Day to day, I present male, but I plan to change that around the 1 year mark.

I guess that's about it! One final note is that I've been alluding to video/podcast style things for a while now. With my aderrall prescription, I've actually put in a lot of research work that might lead to 1-4 of those, so that might actually happen in the near future! No promises of course, life always catches up to you.

And if you liked my previous pinned post better, here it is:

Anyways, if you read this far, thanks for sticking around and bbyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[kaiser1ns]

KIKI'S CHARACTER ANALYSIS ON TAKIISHI CHIKA

BEFORE PROCEEDING TO READ i want to clarify that this is my opinion and my take on his character before we get to know more about him in the manga. i know that the way i write about him is not what he really is, and that can cause conflicts but i am trying my best! contains small spoilers ahead! anyway hope you will enjoy!

Written on August 9th 2024. Posted on August 10th 2024. Edited on

Takiishi Chika is expressive only when he wants to be, but most of the time he is with that bored expression making it look like he is some kind of robot or haunted doll. As already known his face changes when he feels anger or when he fights with someone at his level or higher, it's when he gets happy and excited, because there is someone who will not bore him and keep up with the adrenaline.

He will not listen to anyone in whom he finds no interest. People can talk to him, but he will pay no attention to them. He will listen, catch a sentence here and there, and when someone mentions something that intrudes on him, he will listen without hesitation wanting to know more.

Strikes me as a type who is also very observant. Not only in a fight but when around people in a calm setting. Also intelligent, may not show it because he acts on impulse but everything is calculated.

Likes to light up fireworks when there's nothing better to do or people to fight. It's nice and something he can do on his own.

He likes to sit on the rooftop of buildings and look down on everything and everyone, either enjoying the view or the feeling of power. We again don't know why. But in Chapter 134: The Moment Longed For, when Endo Yamato receives a punch to his face because he stopped Chika's sudden charge at Umeniya, the conversation goes as such "But hey, Umemiya told us to go to the roof with him. It's been ages since we have been there. You like the roof don't you?" and then Chika freezes agreeing with what Edno said "Right. That's true." Then he walks past Umemiya telling him to go there, leaving everyone behind.

The question here is why Chika likes roofs so much, and what exactly does Furin's rooftop that Umemiya wants to show him? My mind directly goes to the garden. Is it to see one's growth despite its roots? What if Chika used to take care of the garden too? I know, it's a laughable idea and seems impossible but what if? So many questions, but not many answers. This is normal, seeing as how their battle is just beginning and the characters' internal and external conflicts are yet to emerge.

As stated, he is violent and short-tempered, he would never let anyone or anything block him from doing what he wants, it doesn't matter if it was a friend or an enemy. He is capable of destroying everything in his path. But personally, I think he won't hit someone if there's no reason to or if he isn't provoked in some way.

He doesn't care about the others, he only cares for himself and his enjoyment.

Of course, he knows many people and many people know him. But he isn't close with anyone besides Endo Yamato, even if they are childhood friends and their friendship is weird, Chika just lets Endo do whatever he wants — buy him clothes, paint his nails, find him opponents. He probably never asked for him to do such things but Chika knows how devoted the tattooed fool is to him, and so he played along. That leads me to a theory that he was spoiled as a child, that's why he doesn't question Endo, because he is used to getting what he wants and if something goes in his way, he will eliminate it.

Endo stated that Takiishi "began to fizzle out when he left Furin" meaning he was slowly losing his spark and maybe fighting out of boredom and not excitement. Chika is "The Strongest Man in Furin History". Probably in his first year, there wasn't anyone worthy enough to keep up with his pace and cause that fervor to ignite his flames.

Two years later when he dropped out of Furin Highschool he became a shadow and it was a few in the school who knew the truth about him, including Umemiya, the person Chika probably wanted to fight from the start.

In Chapter 142: Revelation, we see Takiishi in Endo's memories, and he has always been so aggressive towards the world, but unfortunately, we still don't know the reason why — perhaps a family conflict that indicates him being abused as a child; himself being bullied and then turning into a bully, or he was a prodigy too doing everything before other kids his age making him develop faster and he took advantage of that. So many theories. Hope we know in the future! [this part will be edited once his backstory is out]

God complex which may also be associated with mania or a superiority complex. Someone with a god complex may exhibit no regard for the conventions and demands of society and may request special consideration or privileges. GD is linked to Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) with a diminished ability to empathize with other people's feelings. Even tho we don't see Takiishi being 'in love' with himself, he only cares about himself, and thus I will say he is probably narcissistic but not to such an extent.

But here I think the right word which should be used is Egoist — a self-centered, selfish person or arrogantly conceited person. Egoism comes in different forms as there are several reasons as to why someone may act in their own self-interest, such as ethics or rationality. The three main types of egoism are physical egoism, ethical egoism and rational egoism.

1. Physical Egoism

This type of egoism refers to the basic, instinctual drive for self-preservation and personal survival. It is often associated with natural instincts and physical needs, such as hunger, thirst, and the avoidance of pain. Physical egoism emphasizes the inherent tendency of living beings to prioritize their own physical well-being and survival above all else. In this view, self-interest is rooted in biological imperatives.

2. Ethical Egoism

Ethical egoism is a normative theory that suggests some individuals act in their own self-interest. It is a prescriptive approach, meaning it provides guidance on how people should behave. Ethical egoism posits that morally right actions are those that maximize one's own welfare. Unlike physical egoism, which is based on natural instincts, ethical egoism is a philosophical stance arguing that self-interest should be the guiding principle of moral decision-making.

3. Rational Egoism

Rational egoism posits that it is rational for individuals to act in their own self-interest because doing so leads to the best outcomes for themselves. This form of egoism is based on the idea that reason, rather than mere instinct or moral obligation, should guide self-interested behavior. Rational egoism suggests that acting in one's own long-term interest is not only logical but also the most reasonable course of action for achieving happiness and success. It often involves considering the consequences of actions and making choices that best serve one's goals in a rational, calculated manner.

In conclusion:

Takiishi Chika is impulsive, violent, and primarily concerned with his own physical needs and desires, aligning most closely with physical egoism. He doesn't seem to consider the long-term consequences of his actions, nor does he follow a moral code that dictates acting in his self-interest in a socially constructive way, which would be characteristic of ethical or rational egoism.

The behavior could be indicative of several potential mental health conditions or personality disorders, but it's important to note that diagnosing someone, especially when a real person requires a qualified mental health professional. However, I am not a professional and I am doing this only for my entertainment in the fictional world. There are a few possibilities that might align with the characteristics of Takiishi Chika.

1. Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD):

Individuals with ASPD often exhibit a disregard for the rights of others, lack of empathy, and can be prone to aggressive, violent behavior. They may engage in fights, show little concern for the safety or feelings of others, and may be manipulative or deceitful.

2. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):

While not always violent, people with BPD may experience intense emotional reactions, including anger and aggression. They can also have a pattern of unstable relationships, self-harming behaviors, and fear of abandonment, which might be linked to masochistic tendencies.

3. Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED):

This disorder is characterized by sudden, explosive outbursts of anger or violence that are disproportionate to the situation. The person might feel a sense of relief after the outburst but may also feel remorse or regret later.

4. Sadistic Personality Disorder:

Although not recognized in the DSM-5, some traits could align with what was previously considered Sadistic Personality Disorder. This involves deriving pleasure from the suffering of others, which could explain sadistic tendencies.

Chika's behaviour is explosive or volatile sadism. This type of sadism is characterized by sudden outbursts of aggression and violence, often triggered by frustration or when the person feels someone is in their way. Individuals with this type of sadism tend to lack empathy, and their violent behavior can be unpredictable and intense.

In addition, his potential sadomasochistic tendencies suggest he might derive some pleasure from both inflicting pain on others (sadism) and experiencing pain themselves (masochism). This combination can make his behavior particularly volatile, as he may be drawn to situations that allows him to express both these desires.

5. Conduct Disorder (in younger individuals):

If the individual is younger, this could be a sign of Conduct Disorder, characterized by aggressive behavior, a lack of empathy, and a disregard for rules or the rights of others. This condition in youth can sometimes progress to Antisocial Personality Disorder in adulthood.

6. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD):

While not typically associated with overt physical violence, individuals with NPD can display aggression when their ego is threatened. They may lack empathy and be manipulative or exploitative in relationships, only caring about others when it benefits them.

7. Psychopathy:

A more severe form of ASPD, psychopathy involves a profound lack of empathy, superficial charm, and often a tendency toward manipulative and violent behavior. Sadistic tendencies may also be present.

8. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):

Individuals with PTSD may experience anger as a response to trauma reminders or as part of the hyperarousal symptoms. Irritability and angry outbursts. Feeling constantly on edge or easily startled.

PTSD develops after exposure to a traumatic event, and anger can be a coping mechanism or reaction to perceived threats.

9. Trauma and Childhood Experiences:

Anger issues can also stem from unresolved trauma, especially if it occurred during childhood. People who have experienced abuse, neglect, or abandonment may develop anger as a defense mechanism. Difficulty trusting others, leading to anger in relationships. Feeling easily threatened or provoked. Chronic irritability or anger without a clear cause.

This is all I can think of when I did my research. Chika definitely has something traumatic happened to him or he was someone's trauma.

But there can be a scenario with him just being born like that even if love and kindness were shown to him. We will know more once Satoru Nii drops his full backstory like he did with Endo and Umemiya.

TAKIISHI CHIKA'S CHARACTER IN MY WRITING STYLE

I don't want to make him too out of character for the sake of the people who like or will like him, as I want them to have the best experience while reading any of my works that includes him.

In many of my drabbles readers will get to see him being more soft towards the female character or his girlfriend as stated in the most scenarios. He is being vulnerable towards you. It is simply the way I imagine him when he gets to like someone who catches his attention: he wants to know everything, is being possessive, is more expressive, making space in his heart only for you, though his ego and pride would no go down but instead they will go up because he has something the others don't.

As I stated earlier, he will not listen or look at anyone in whom he finds no interest. That being said, and as a cliché as it sounds, you are different, he wants to have you to either a) play with you until you break or b) learn about the way you are making him feel, because his heartbeat only rises when he fights.

When Takiishi Chika learns to love, or at least tries, he realizes that he can tolerate people who get in his way, meaning he tolerates you and is extremely important for him to see you everyday. And if his nonchalant behaviour is due to a trauma, you are his free therapy.

I saw people who think he doesn't talk much, again he does, he chose to who, how and when. Even if it's one word, sentence or a punch, he will talk.

In my opinion the way he loves is unique, everyone has their own way to express their longing for the other. He doesn't know what love is, its a new term in his vocabulary, and you teach him the ways of being soft and tender.

He is protective of you, very fond by the way you show him how to do things and he acts on instinct. If he wants a kiss, he will get one no matter what. If he wants get intimate or just to initiate a physical touch, he without thinking twice would. Takiishi Chika is not a person who waits, unless necessary, because when he wants something he will make sure to have it. If he wants you he will get you. He is the living prime of "If he wanted, he would."

But then again he has another dark, manipulative and toxic side. Again he is not good or used to expressing his emotions that well, if he wanted to hurt you, unintentionally or not, he would. I know I'm repeating myself a lot with words, but it's true. Was it with a real or non-existent person, if they wanted to, they would do anything to or for you.

This is mostly what I have to say about him, in hopes of your understanding and if you got to the end of this long post, thank you! Takiishi Chika is not that complex of a character, he is pretty easy to understand in my opinion, as long you want to do it.

But it's my profile, my own way to express myself amd how i view a certain character. I would be happy if someone wants to discuss further issues with our blazing inferno Chika <3

And as the manga will continue and more will be understood, I will give it my best to describe and write not only about Chika, but also about all the other characters. I hope this was a hopeful guide to answer questions if you even had one.

Thank you Chika nation for the support, and thank you for reading and following through my writing journey! More is yet to come (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

[cochart]

Some SMT5 Characters in P5T style because it’s cute

I’ve been enjoying P5T during my little self-assigned winter break. I haven’t cleared the game yet, but it’s been a nice distraction.

Below is some of my thoughts on P5T if you’re interested or if you’re trying to decide whether or not to buy.

Overall, the game has been pretty enjoyable. It’s nice to see the characters you’re familiar with again and the story is decent. The art style is cute and the battles are enjoyable. The game is definitely more on the casual side and might be a tad bit disappointing for people who want a proper SRPG. On the flip side, even if you hate SRPG, you’d be able to pick this game up easily. I’d definitely recommend the game for P5 fans.

On the other hand, compared to P5S, the game does feel a little short for the price. I don’t regret preordering the game at all, but if your finances aren’t doing so well at the moment, I’d say wait till it goes on a sale.

1. As a Persona 5 spinoff

As a spinoff, I think it’s a pretty nice game. It’s nice to see the characters you love again in a different context, and the new characters are fun and likable. I’m actually quite impressed by the new characters as it can sometimes be difficult to insert new characters into a well-established franchise without making them overpowered or otherwise upsetting to the existing fans. Both Toshiro and Elle are likable, fun characters with decent stories of their own.

It’s also nice to see your favorite Phantom Thieves again. Overall, the tone of the game is more playful, so you can’t expect an in-depth character exploration you get in P5R, but it still feels like a treat.

2. As an SRPG

I think the game translated the elements of Persona franchise well into an SRPG genre. With 1 MORE and Tribangle system, you really do feel like you’re playing a Persona game. While it might be a tad bit disappointing that you can only use three characters per battle, trying to find the most efficient way to exterminate the enemies with Tribangle is pretty fun.

That said, for people coming from a more traditional SRPG like Final Fantasy Tactics or the Fire Emblem series, P5T can be a little lacking. Part of the fun in an SRPG is customizing units and building your army. In P5T, you level up the Phantom Thieves as a whole instead of individually. I think this was necessary to prevent users having to grind to level up different units, but it also makes it harder for you as a player to customize each unit meaningfully. In FE3H, for example, you can decide whether you want Felix to be a sword master or a wyvern lord. You can also decide whether you’d want your army to be sturdier with a lot of armored units or whether you’d take your chances by raising your units’ agility and hoping that they’d dodge enemy attacks. That you can’t do such customization can be a huge disappointment for people who enjoy SRPG.

On the other hand, adopting such traditional job/class system might have turned P5T into a poor man’s FE. I feel like the developers had to choose between a traditional approach at the risk of making the game look like a FE ripoff and trying to make use of Persona-typical systems at the expense of being a solid SRPG.

Overall, the game plays more like a fun puzzle game than an SRPG. If I were to compare P5T to any game, I’d actually compare it to some of the puzzle maps in FEH. My advice is if you’re looking for a solid SRPG like Fire Emblem, you should pick up a Fire Emblem game.

3. Others

While the game doesn’t feel unfinished—like Crimson Flower route in FE3H in which you feel cheated out of Edel’s story—it does feel a little short. I haven’t gotten to the final boss, but I can look at the level and guess where I am. I’ve been playing this game in bits and pieces, but I’m already 60% finished with the game. I think at this rate, I’d finish at about 35~40ish hours. Keep in mind that when I play games, I eat and drink, so it takes a little longer than it would if I were to focus completely on the game.

One thing that shortens the game is that there isn’t anything to do aside from battling. I know some people hate it when games involve little side activity like walking around and talking to characters—though you can technically talk to characters in P5T when there’s a Talk event—or farming, but I do wish there was something to do. The quests are fun, but there aren’t that many of them.

On the other hand, because you don’t have anything to work for besides getting on with the story, I’m not sure if the developers could have made the game longer without making the battles feel too repetitive. If there were job/class systems or any unit customization available, there would be something to work for, but there isn’t.

I do think there is more potential to the premise of the game though. The Kingdoms of P5T is sort of set up like Silent Hill in that the bosses are incarnations of one’s fear. I think the developers could definitely have expanded on that.

I’ve also seen some complaints that the game is too easy. The game is definitely easier than some SRPG I played. But then, I don’t think this game was made with hardcore SRPG players in mind. Also, despite the game being a bit more casual, I didn’t feel bored playing the battles. So I think the difficulty level might actually be more suitable for the general public. Aside from something like Dark Souls, games of all genres have been getting easier over the years. I know it might be disappointing to people who want more challenging games, but I don’t see the trend reversing soon. I think the best course of action if you want more challenge is to try looking into some indie games.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Must you, Japan? has become Thank You, Japan

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

BL OLYMPICS! Week 3

This is my last week of passing out metals in various sporting events, as part of the weekly updates.

Aug 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Century of Love (Weds Gaga) eps 9-10fin - There were a lot more unnecessary dramatic speeches than there was practical medical aid being administered. Very extra, boys. I wonder how long it took them to get that "birds meet hug" shot? Meanwhile, great grandpa‘s attitude that he knows best in every way is thoroughly annoying, and yet absolutely appropriate to his age. My great gramps (RIP), had he had the body of a 20-year-old, would behave in exactly the same self-righteous know-it-all way. The doctor is great. I would like him to get his own romance please? What happens when you are the villain in someone else's reincarnation story? There's a whole fanfic there. And yes I cried. I am a sap for this kinda thing.

Final thoughts:

This is a great little show about a young man who fell in love with a pretty girl 100 years ago, and when she died in his arms, he was cursed to live until he could meet her reborn self. Only this time around, she’s reborn into the body of a man. I love it when Thailand gets all up in its own historical business and reincarnation and shizz. I like this pair (it’s not DaouOffroad’s fault I didn’t enjoy most of their first series.) Daou’s wushu is pretty snazzy and we got a fun meet cute. (Erm... Remeet cute? Meet cute 2.0?) Plus this is a very PRETTY show. Despite some ham handed comedy moments, this ultimately has more in common with something like I Feel You Linger in the Air meets First Love Again, then (as one might expect) Until We Meet Again or The Director Who Buys Me Dinner. The leads turned in great performances, although Daou outclassed everybody else on that screen. It’s a good story and a great BL. I’m not sure this is going in my rewatch rotation, but I can’t find any major faults with it beyond a certain level of camp that is sadly endemic to lackorns. Also I’m going to give it credit as the kind of BL that one could safely recommend to lovers of melodrama and historical romance, without having to qualify it as “good for a BL.” It was, to put it succinctly, simply a VERY ENJOYABLE show. 

Under those auspices I really can’t give it anything less than a 9/10. 

Bronze in Fencing

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 10 of 12 - It’s cute. They were cute. I enjoyed it a lot. I talk quite a bit about why they're using nai as a you pronoun here:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - Honestly the side couple is truly stellar in this show. I wasn’t sure about them at first but now I absolutely love them. Not sure how they are going to resolve such intense dislike (from JJ) by the end of the series. But I’m interested to see them try.

Meanwhile, there isn’t anything else airing right now that makes me laugh as much as the behind-the-scenes from this show. Highly recommended.

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 1-2 of 12 - Oh it is so much fun. I’m particularly delighted that our musician is a drummer and I don’t have to listen to him sing... I hope. I’ve been waiting for Big to lead a BL forever. I’m disposed to enjoy this. We can all be confident in one thing, the kisses are going to be great. I like the side couple too, very indulgent daddy. While I am disturbed by the tortoise in the tiny tank, I love the extrovert friendship group. They remind me of my own college crew. It is a cute premise, but I will need them to actually be together in the same room, looking longingly at each other a smooching within the next couple of episodes.

YouTube served me both episodes 1 & 2, and I don’t think it was meant to. So this may be next week's review as well.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 6 of 12 - I wasn’t wild about this ep or where this show is going. But I enjoyed the language play. 

Gold in Linguistic Gymnastics

(my new favorite sport)

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - Wow. Sam admitted it just out loud like that! Right after a betrayal? Balls on that boy. Worked on Yo tho. Too well, actually. I wish Yo had made him suffer and dragged him over the coals for a while. But I guess Yo really really likes him back. Meanwhile, the GL side plot also moved quite rapidly. A lot happened in this episode.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - Them ALL jumping into the water was totally ridiculous. It’s still a little slow, because it is a pulp, but I’m rather enjoying it.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 12fin - Almond and Latte were cute. The breakfast with the four of them was funny. I did laugh a lot. Almond getting "first time" advice from his two resident gay dads (or at least trying to) was super sweet. Also I got a lot of smiley kisses. Nice final ep.

Ultimately how do I feel about this show?

A story about 4 boys of differing personalities who end up living together and pair up, falling in love. Slow moving and waffling, with some artificially generated family drama makes this a classic Thai pulp except that in general it's a smiley kiss of a show. It had plenty of good qualities like great communication and sexual rep (including toys, first time, safe sex, and sexual identities). The heat levels were on point and well executed, and the performances were good. It’s just that the script and the directing were lackluster, rendering it ultimately forgettable. Still, fine on a rainy afternoon with some camomile tea or whatever. 7/10 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 9 of 10 - I’m getting some sort of PTSD from this show, It is making me feel like I’m the problem. Trash watch

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 1-2 of 8 - Anyone surprised by this jump in the standings? Yeah, probubly not. Anygay... this show is GREAT. Warped af but great. Lemme try to explain.

I actually said out loud during ep 1, "Well this is boundary pushing." By which I mean mine and everybody elses. But it’s Japan, *checks watch* it’s about time they turned out something edging into unpalatable and kinky. And because it’s Japan, I’m more forgiving than I would be were this show nested in the clumsy hands of say... Thailand. So actually this being me, and me being of questionable taste, I’m enjoying this show a lot.

You want me to list the ways? Sure.

Younger seme with grabby hands.

The younger one identified the elder gay as his personal property and it’s now: single motivation, on target, against all odds.

Uke cares about his work and not much else.

Seme cares about the uke and not much else.

Uke is gonna make this boy WORK for it.

That one particularly Japanese style of obsession that I actually adore.

Passes the sniff test!

I’m being reminded of that KBL Love Mate. Which I believe I enjoyed but no one else did. For exactly this set of tropes. Only Japan is better suited to handle them. For me this is a case of:

Must you,Japan? = Oh yes? Well, thank you very much, Japan.  

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - enter the evil girl character. Yawn.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - It is what it is. 

It's airing but...

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 2 of 12 - I did not catch ep 2 before they took it down from USA YT. I don’t know why it’s down. Either they got a deal for distribution off YouTube or there’s some sort of scandal. Frankly, I wasn't particularly impressed with ep 1 so I’m not rabid to find wherever it’s gone or why. Still, perhaps someone will let us know the sitch in a comment? It's a me problem. I'm figuring it out.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - OMG a uni student who looks too young and a... COP. GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. Why can't I find it? Do I have to go grey?

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me if it's safe.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - it's your funeral (or, more likely, one of the main characters'). You can argue but... statistics. You know my feelings on this matter. MY BLOG, remember?

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!! (Yeah this is gonna sit here until then)

Next Week Looks Like This:

Ooo, nice spread.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming This Month!

8/12 First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) 12 eps - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan stars Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn tean. I can't wait. With thier powers combined!

8/13 Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues YT) 10 eps - supposedly Jinlo with air this on their YT channel. Stars August (Love Sick) so I'm excited despite Jinlo's poor reputation. From the trailer it looks like it's following the original pretty closely... just Thai style. GIMMEEEEE!!!!

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something.

8/22 The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) 12 eps - announced in 2023 this one has a high school set stepbrothers trope and is reputed to be high heat. From Taiwan! It's made for me. Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, so it could go dark. Still, I'm very excited.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Linguistic flirting trope! One of my all time favorites. FANTASTIC. (I did keep hearing Gun yelling Papiiiiiii! in my head tho.)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.