#and feels so nice to not have to panic about it for five business days beforehand

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ 31

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,250ish

Summary: You and Logan continue to mend your relationship.

Warnings: mentions of sex, anxiety, panic attacks

Notes: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I enjoyed writing it! This is also the start of The Wolverine (2013) movie!

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks! 

You were awake before Logan, allowing you to stare at his beautiful body. The two of you had had a wonderful week, just focusing on the two of you. You only left the house to go into town and get supplies. It was nice in town. No one knew who you were, as it had been a long time. Logan didn’t hate going to town either. He constantly had an arm around you or his hand in yours. And if someone looked at you a way he didn’t like, he made sure they knew you belonged to him by pulling you in for a kiss.

Logan started work today. You didn’t want him to work, finding out that Charles had set you both up with a nice chunk of money. But Logan insisted that it would allow him to get his needed anger out on the trees and that the two of you would do better if you weren’t around each other constantly. You hated to admit that he had a point.

“Stop starin’,” Logan muttered, slowly waking up.

“Can’t help it,” you smirked, kissing his shoulder. 

“Yeah, well,” he opened his eyes and turned to face you. “Two can play at this game.”

You laughed. “It’s not a game, Logan.”

“It could be.” He pulled you into him, kissing your forehead. “I need to get up.”

“No… stay.”

He chuckled. “We’ve talked about this, sweetheart. I’m only working part-time, a few hours five days a week.”

“Still… I…”

“I know you’re nervous. I am, too… the last time we had a morning like this, in this house—“

“Victor basically killed me.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not gonna happen. I promise.” He kissed your lips softly, like he could seal the promise. “We have a plan. You’re not leaving the house. You’ll call me if anything goes wrong.”

“Okay.”

“Hey.” Logan could tell that you were growing nervous. “It’s alright. I won’t be long.”

“Mhm,” you nodded.

“Come on,” He flipped the covers off of the two of you and pulled you off of the bed with him. “Help me get ready.”

~~~

“Before you go, I need you to take these,” you said, pulling the dog tags from around your neck and placing them around his. “I’ll keep yours still, but I need others to understand that you’re mine.”

“Marking your territory?” He smirked.

“Something like that.” You pulled him in for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Logan kissed you again before driving off. You stood at the door, watching as he disappeared down the mountain. Taking a few deep breaths, you tried to calm the anxiousness that began to build inside of you.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you whispered to yourself.

You slipped back into the house and tried to busy yourself with unpacking more. With each minute that passed, you grew shakier, and your skin grew hotter. You had to stop touching anything due to the fact that you had started setting everything on fire. Eventually, you ended up standing in the middle of the house, staring at the phone on the counter. You knew that you could call Logan, and he would drop everything to come running, but you didn’t want to ruin his first day. A few tears sizzled down your cheeks as you came to the conclusion to just handle it yourself. You’d be fine. This was just a one-time thing, right?

~~~

Logan actually enjoyed his first day of work. It was nice to feel normal once again, and chopping wood allowed him to clear his mind. Logan did feel bad for leaving you, though, so he swung by a flower shop in town before heading home. He was excited to get home to you and spend the rest of the day holding you. As soon as he entered the house, Logan could sense that something was off.

“Y/N?” He called, taking off his boots and jacket. “Sweetheart?’

“In here!” You called.

He followed your voice and found you curled up in the corner of the couch,, book in your lap. His lips lifted into a smile as he came up behind you and leaned over, going in for a kiss. You laughed into the kiss. Logan broke from your lips and began peppering kisses over your face.

“I take it the first day was good?” You laughed.

“Mhm,” he hummed, giving the top of your head a kiss before jumping over the couch to sit beside you. He pulled you into his lap, nuzzling his nose into your face. “I brought you flowers.”

“You did?”

“Mhm.” He handed them to you.

“They’re beautiful.”

“Glad you like them,” he kissed your temple. “How was your day, sweetheart?”

“It was… good.”

His brows furrowed as he pulled back to see you better. “Why don't I believe you?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. You pushed the book open and tried to read it.

“Nu-uh.” Logan grabbed the book and tossed it onto the coffee table nearby. “Don’t ignore this… don’t ignore me.”

“Seriously, Logan, it was fine. I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

“Logan…” You moved to push yourself off of Logan, but he quickly held tighter.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” He kissed behind your ear. “I believe you.” 

You nodded. “What do you want for dinner?” 

“Whatever you want.”

“Okay.” You kissed his cheek. “I’m going to get something started. Go clean up and meet me in the kitchen.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

He pulled you in for a quick peck before the two of you stood up together. You smiled at him before slipping into the nearby kitchen. Logan watched knowingly. Something was going on with you, but you weren’t willing to admit it yet. The two of you had moved here to work on your communication skills and other aspects of your relationship, though it was clear it would still be a long road.

Logan was quick to clean up and join you in the kitchen. He could tell that you were relaxing the more he was near you. The two of you teased each other as you worked together to cook dinner. After dinner, the two of you cuddled on the couch, reading until Logan began distracting you. The two of you ended up in bed, ravishing each other’s bodies.

~~~

That became a repeat for the next few weeks. Logan would go to work, and you would panic alone. Logan would come home, knowing that something was wrong, but swiftly distract you with something he got you from town. It was annoying you that you couldn’t fight off the anxiousness of being alone, especially as the weeks wore on. You knew that no one would take you away or kill you. No one knew where you were or who you were. But the old memories haunted you. You’d barely been near the cliff where Logan had buried you, and Stryker had dug you up. It was all so much, though you truly wanted to be there.

“I have a long shift today, remember?” Logan said as the two of you walked to the door. “I won’t be home until late.”

“Right,” you murmured, looking down.

“Hey.” Logan hooked a finger under your chin and guided your head to look at him. “I can stay home if you need me.”

“No, I’m fine.” You shook your head and gave his lips a peck. “I’ll have dinner ready for whenever you arrive tonight.”

“Love you.” He captured your lips for another kiss before heading to the truck.

“Love you.”

You watched until Logan had completely disappeared before heading back into the house. Today, the anxiety seemed to hit you worse for no good reason. As soon as the door was shut, your hands were trembling, and sparks were shooting from your fingertips. Your legs buckled beneath you as you began to gasp for breath. 

You needed Logan. You need to fess up and tell him the truth. You just had to get to the phone and hopefully not burn it when you did. Your trembling body wouldn’t allow you to stand, so you were forced to crawl, burning a path in the wood. With a shaky hand, you reached up onto the counter and knocked down the phone. As quickly as you could, you typed in Logan’s number. It rang once before Logan answered.

“Miss me already?” Logan joked but quickly stopped when he picked up on your labored breaths. “Sweetheart? What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” you cried. You could hear the truck's tires as Logan turned it around. “I should have told you… I should have been honest…”

“I’m on my way back, baby. Stay with me.” It’s like he could see that you were going to lose consciousness. “Breathe, Y/N.”

“I’m—I’m… trying…”

“I know you are. I’ll be right there. Okay?” Your body gave into the darkness. “Y/N?! Shit!”

Logan drove speedily up the mountain, trying to get back to you. As soon as he could, Logan was out of the truck and racing inside. The air smelt of your smoke and Logan noticed the burnt trail into the wood. He followed it to where your body lay near the kitchen. There were small flames littered around you. 

Despite the heat of your body, Logan grabbed you from the floor and hurried you to the bathroom. He needed to wake you and cool you down. Flipping the shower on, Logan stepped inside, not caring that the two of you still had clothes on.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he muttered, trying to cool you down. “Wake up.”

You groaned, slowly coming back to. “Lo… Logan?”

“I’m here.”

“Are… are we in the shower? Oh no! Did I set something on fire?”

“It’s fine. You stopped.”

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I should have told you from the beginning.”

“Yes, you should have. But I’m not mad at you. I’m just glad you finally told me.”

You nodded, wincing as some harsh water hit your eyes. “Do you think we could continue this conversation out of the shower?”

Logan chuckled. “Okay.”

~~~

After that day, you and Logan tried to never keep a secret that important from each other. Logan slowly helped you with your anxiety, making sure you had a routine to follow when he wasn’t home. When he was home, he made sure to be fully home with you. The two of you shared the chores, though most of the time Logan was trying to get you to rest and not worry about it.

Both you and Logan continued to have the occasional nightmares, but neither of you was bothered by the other’s nightmares. The two of you did what needed to be done to comfort the other.

Your relationship still had its hardships, but you and Logan worked hard on your relationship. Life became nice, almost easy in a way. There was a steady routine throughout your life that you learned to enjoy.

One day, years after you left the mansion, Logan came home late from work. He quietly entered the house and found you working away on dinner in the kitchen. A small smile took over his features as he came over and slipped his arms around you. You jumped slightly, letting out a squeak of surprise as Logan held a kiss to the side of your head.

“Hey, you,” you greeted with a smile, relaxing into him.

“Hey, you,” he repeated. The two of you moved your heads to meet for a kiss. 

“How was work?”

“Good.”

“Good.” 

You pecked his lips again before focusing back on dinner. Logan sighed, resting his head against yours as he remained wrapped around you while you worked. Logan was simply amazed with you and felt like he was the luckiest man in the world.

“Marry me.” 

It was a soft statement, not a question. It had you freezing in your spot. Logan gently guided you around to face him.

“Marry me,” he repeated.

You looked at him. All you could see was his seriousness and his unconditional love for you.

“Okay,” you breathed out.

“Okay?” He repeated, trying to make sure that you were sure.

“I’ll marry you.”

“Yeah?”

“You gonna question all my responses?” You laughed. “Or are you going to kiss me already?”

Logan’s lips attacked yours before you could tease him again. He quickly pulled you into him and away from the stove. His hands snaked down your hips to your legs and gripped onto your thighs. Without breaking from your lips, Logan lifted you up and turned around, setting you on the island.

“Logan,” you breathed out as he began to trail kisses down your neck. “I’m making dinner…”

With quick movements, Logan shut off the stove. “Dinner can wait.”

~~~

The two of you cuddled naked in bed after showing each other how much you love each other. Logan’s hands gently moved up your neck and slipped his dog tags off.

“What are you doing?” You asked quietly.

“Gettin’ your ring,” he mumbled, focusing on opening the chain.

You watched as Logan carefully took the ring off of the chain before he placed it back around your neck. Then Logan took your left hand and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand. Slowly, he slipped the ring onto your finger.

“You still good with this ring?” He asked, genuinely worried.

“Logan,” you moved your hand to caress his cheek. “This ring will always be perfect.”

“You sure? I can always—“

“James.” You pecked his lips. “I love it… I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You two shared another kiss.

“Logan, I…”

“What, sweetheart?”

“I don’t really want to deal with planning a wedding… I don’t want to worry about anyone coming or decorations. We should just go to the courthouse.”

“Mhm,” he hummed. “What about private vows right here, right now?”

“But I don’t have a ring for you.”

Logan chuckled. “Baby, I can’t wear a ring. My claws won’t allow it.”

“Oh, yeah…”

“Your dog tags will be my ring.”

“Alright… what should we promise each other?”

“Well, I know what I’d promise you… Been thinking about it a lot, actually.”

“Tell me.”

Logan turned to the side and opened the drawer of the bedside table. He pulled out a piece of paper before helping you sit up with him against the headboard. You felt like you could cry as the paper trembled slightly in Logan’s hands. He had written his thoughts—his feelings down. That wasn’t like him at all.

“Okay,” he breathed out, eyes focused on the paper before him. “Y/N… I never thought I’d experience something like this in my long lifetime. Let alone twice with the same person… I’m not good with words, but I made a list of promises that I intend to keep… I promise to be your partner in all things. I promise to protect you with my life. I promise to be by your side. I promise to love you with a fierceness that rivals me on the battlefield. I promise to embrace every moment with you, cherish our shared experiences, and find joy together. I promise to be your Logan, your James, your Wolverine until the end of my days. But I promise that the title I will wear the post proudly is that of your husband.” Logan looked up at you, eyes shining with love and tears. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”

You responded by leaning in and kissing him, trying to pour your feelings into the kiss. He eagerly kissed back.

“I love you so much, Logan,” you whispered against his lips. “And I wish I was more prepared—“

“You don’t need to be, sweetheart. As long as you’re here, that’s all I need.”

~~~

You and Logan didn’t care if your marriage was official or not. In your minds you were now husband and wife, which apparently led to more attraction to each other than before. Everything Logan did seemed to turn you on. 

It was a Saturday in the fall, and Logan was chopping down a few nearby trees, wanting to make sure you had enough wood for the winter. You stood in the doorway of the house, leaning against it, nibbling away at your bottom lip. You couldn’t help but check Logan out. The way his muscles moved as he swung the ax. The way his white tank top was just a bit too tight, so it allowed you to see his abs through it. Logan’s skin glistened with sweat as he worked. You were sure that he could feel you staring, purposefully moving in certain directions to keep your attention.

Suddenly, you came up with an idea. You slipped into the house and put on a new set of lingerie you had bought recently and then put on one of Logan’s flannels, buttoning a few of the middle buttons up. As quietly as you could, you came up behind Logan.

“Hey, handsome,” you flirted.

“Hey, sweethe—“ Logan’s voice stopped as he took a second look to actually look at you. “What are you wearing?”

You shrugged, coming closer. “Looked comfy.”

He eyed the lace peeking out of the flannel as he set the ax down. “That’s not what I meant.”

You came up and ran a hand down his muscular arm. “You know… you’re a real good-looking lumberjack.”

“Yeah?” He smirked, brow raising. 

Your hands slowly grazed up his arms until you could clasp them around his neck. “Oh yeah… like the hottest lumberjack around.”

Logan couldn’t help but chuckle as his arms came around to the small of your back. “Is that why you couldn’t take your eyes off me?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, biting your lip as he pulled you impossibly closer.

“Did my wife enjoy the show?” You whined at him calling you his wife. It always got to you, and he knew that. “Do you want me to continue?”

“No,” you rasped, shaking your head.

“Then tell your husband what you want.”

“I want to go to our bedroom.”

“And?”

“I want to have sex. Ah! Logan!” You were suddenly thrown over his shoulder.

“Took ya long enough, sweetheart. Do you think I was chopping wood for fun?”

~~~

It had been almost ten years since the two of you left the mansion and never looked back. Life had been a wonderful, amazing bubble. Full of love and laughter. And you knew, deep down, that sooner or later, someone would come around to pop that bubble. 

Logan was at work, meaning that you were alone at the house. You were cleaning up the kitchen when a knock sounded at the door. You were immediately on edge. You quickly grabbed the phone and called Logan.

“Sweetheart?” He answered almost immediately, already knowing that something was wrong.

“Someone just knocked at the door,” you whispered.

“What?” You could hear rustling on his end. “I’m on my way back now.” 

The knock sounded again. “Should I answer it?”

“No. Get to a place where they can’t see you. I’ll deal with it when I get there.”

“Okay, I—“ You spun around at the sound of your glass doors sliding open. A young woman waltzed in, sword on her back.

“Y/N?!” Logan began panicking over the phone. “Sweetheart?!”

“Who are you?” You asked the young woman as you slowly lowered the phone, and a fireball began forming in your free hand. “And what are you doing breaking into my house?”

“My name is Yukio, and I’m looking for the Wolverine.”

next chapter >

[feralattentionwhore]

They really should drug me because I'm their property and I don't get to choose what goes on. Things just happen and I have to be a good girl and take it.

Just hand me something to eat or drink randomly without any instructions other than to be obedient and take it. Not knowing what's happening but doing what I'm told, obviously

Why should a toy have any options to begin with anyway?

[zephyrchama]

Living together in a big house with one (main) (shared) bathroom means that mornings can be tough.

When you first arrived at the House of Lamentation, it was hard to fit in. It was really hard to get into the bathroom in the mornings and fight six demons for use of the sink. If more than two others were in there at the same time, they practically formed a living wall that blocked you out, forcing you to wake up extremely early or risk being late for school.

That got better over time though. You gradually managed to fit into the house's morning routine.

---

Lucifer has his morning routine down to an exact science. Usually he's fully dressed and has his hair brushed before leaving the bedroom. He might be running on pure muscle memory though - one time you handed him a warm washcloth for his face and he just stared at it in confusion for several seconds with a furrowed brow. He has no problems getting it himself, but this break in routine gave him pause. It took Lucifer a moment to realize what it was and to thank you.

If you get the chance to eat breakfast together, Lucifer likes to ask about your day. "What do you have planned? Remember, we have that meeting at five. Did you prepare for the ancient hex exam?" He might slide a bit of his food onto your plate before he goes, a way of returning the pleasant energy boost you always provide for him.

---

Mammon can hustle. Which means that Mammon can get up early if it benefits him in some way. A part time job, an early bird discount, a chance to slip past Lucifer's defenses and borrow some cash.

That doesn't mean it's easy. Waking up takes some serious effort. Mammon will stumble into the bathroom to do his business first thing in the morning, yawning with his eyes half closed and tugging up whatever pants he just tossed on for modesty.

The tsundere part of his brain takes a few minutes to kick in if he's just woken up. If he spots you, Mammon will demand a good morning hug and wrap his arms around you, deaf to your cries of "Mammon! Go wash your hands before you touch me!"

---

Leviathan is always groaning in the morning. He's probably not aware of it. He's probably muttering complaints but is too tired to actually speak the words properly. His blankets are always a tangled mess, wrapped unevenly around his feet and contorted around his body, but Leviathan can easily Houdini his way out of them when it's time to get up. If there's no event or livestream to wake up early for, he'll sleep in for as long as he can before starting the day with a nice shower.

He finds warm running water to feel so pleasant and you can often find Leviathan spacing out next to the faucet. He'll greet you with a sleepy "ah, morning," and accidentally splash you in an attempt to wave his hand. The embarrassment and slight panic from getting you a towel to dry off with is usually enough to properly wake him up, and he sheepishly exits the bathroom and guards the door until you've finished changing into dry clothes.

---

Satan can hardly even put his shirt on properly when fully awake.

The man's a sleepy mess when he tries to get dressed in the morning. He'll stay up all night to finish a book he's invested in, then stumble out of his room "ready to go" when it's time for breakfast. His pants are unzipped and the button is coming undone. He's only got one sleeve on and it's on the wrong arm, or the buttons on his shirt are all misaligned and half have been skipped over.

He doesn't protest anymore when you tidy him up. Some mornings he'll doze off while you straighten his tie and fall forward into you, then try to play it off as a hug. Satan doesn't want to let go though, you feel so much warmer on a chilly morning.

---

Asmodeus is a rare morning riser. Too much sleep is bad for the skin, he claims. If he has trouble getting up, he'll either go soak in his private tub for energy or seek you out.

"You have to hear what happened last night," he'll say, strolling into your room while there's still ten minutes left on your alarm. He sits on the edge of your bed, and if you try falling back asleep he pulls you up into a sitting position. "Listen to this, you won't believe it!"

Asmodeus isn't afraid to get touchy if it means you'll wake up faster and he gets your attention. He'll sit you in his lap, or press you against his side, or run his hands down your face and squish your cheeks with a mischievous smile.

When the main bathroom is too crowded to use you're free to borrow his, with the caveat he gets to style you for the day and you might be late when he gets overzealous.

---

Beelzebub can also be found awake in the mornings. The quiet hours before everyone else wakes up are best for stretching, taking jogs, and grabbing a pre-breakfast appetizer. He'll get spooked if he hears footsteps approach the kitchen and slam the fridge door shut in a hurry, but all is well when he sees you enter the room instead of Lucifer.

Beelzebub is a big guy who takes up a lot of space. When you run into each other in the bathroom and are rushing to get ready, it's easy to bump into him. On days he's still pretty tired, he might not even notice you bonk your head against his arm. That's fine though - you don't want him to notice you until he's brushed his teeth. After all, Beelzebub's morning breath is a potent magical weapon.

If you need the bathroom sink while he occupies it, Beelzebub is kind enough to nudge you in front of him (once you've confirmed his mouth is minty fresh). You both get to use the mirror this way, and you can both see each other's smiling faces.

---

Belphegor is the king of oversleeping. The powers of you and his twin combined are hardly enough on some days, but mostly the responsibility of waking him falls to you. You quickly learned it's best to wake him from behind his head, if you can manage to maneuver your way into a suitable spot to do so. Anywhere his limbs can easily grab you will result in being pulled into bed. He's like a sleeping kraken.

You suspect that Belphegor wakes up easier than he lets on, but he feigns ignorance. He insists he was totally fast asleep when you struggled to physically drag him down the hallway towards the bathroom, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso with all your strength. And when he clung on to your waist and nuzzled his head into your stomach. And when Beel came to help free you from Belphegor's clutches, but he rolled you under him and muttered "mine now."

Definitely fast asleep, doesn't remember a single thing.

[scarlethexelove]

Hiiiiii Growing A Family was so soooo good!!! You’re such a great writer!!

Any chance we’ll get a part two in which Reader finds out she’s pregnant and how Natasha takes care of her throughout the pregnancy please please pleaseeeeeeee🥹🥹🥹

And Then There Were Five

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 2721

Warnings: Cute and fluffy, Smut, Natasha has a Penis, Pregnant sex, Hint of breeding, Beefy!Nat (She is a warning in herself), Mama Nat, P in V, Horny reader, I think that is it.

Pt 1, Pt 3, Pt 4

A/n: I loved writing this one. Starts all nice and cute and then some smut at the end. Though I wasn't expecting it to get this long

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

“Mommy?” You can hear your daughter's voice making you turn around to her. “Aww sweetheart don’t you look adorable.” You beam at the 4 year old. She adorns a t-shirt that has ‘Best Big Sister’ written across the front. She giggles and runs up to you, giving you grabby hands as you pick her up and put her on your hip. You tickle her stomach making her giggle and squirm in your hold which only causes you to laugh. “Mommy stop it.” You smile. “Alright, alright.” You laugh. 

Just then you can hear the front door being opened. You put your daughter down and bend over to her height. “You remember what to do baby girl?” She nods her head quickly before running off. You stand up fully once again and start to busy yourself as you hear keys jingling, which signals you that your wife is growing near. 

You have your back turned to Nat as she enters the kitchen. Strong arms wrap around your waist as a body presses against yours. “Hi detka.” Nat mumbles as she kisses your shoulder. You can’t help the loving smile that spreads across your face. “Hi Natty.” You turn around in her hold giving her a peck on the lips. She smiles when you pull back and look into her eyes. She pulls you impossibly close to her. “How was your day?” You ask Nat. “It was good but I missed my girls.” Nat looks around for a moment. “Speaking of girls, where's Lizzie?” You give her a soft smile. “She’s in her room playing.” You lie to your wife as you see her little head popping out from the corner. 

Nat had noticed the present on the counter when she entered the room. Her eyes fell back to it. “What’s with the gift detka? Did I forget about a party?” You shake your head. “No sweetheart. It’s for you.” You smile. “Me? Did I forget our anniversary?” You can see the look of panic cross her face. Your hands move to cup her cheeks. “No Natty you didn’t forget anything. I just wanted to give you something special.” You let her face go as you see the relief wash over her. “Open it.” You usher her towards the box. Her arms drop from around you as she moves towards the box. Nat reaches out for the box and gently removes the bow. Your eyes twinkle with excitement as you watch your wife slowly open the gift. 

Pulling off the lid slowly you watch Nat’s face grow curious as she spots the shirt in the box. Written on the front says ‘Best Mama Ever’. You can hear little feet running towards you. “Mama! Mama! Mama!” Nat’s head quickly snaps towards your daughter. Running at her happily. Nat doesn’t even notice what her shirt says at first as she picks up Elizabeth and places her on her hip, but as she straightens out her shirt she reads it out loud. “Best big sister.” As she reads that you pull the pregnancy test out of your pants pocket holding it up. Her head snaps towards you and her eyes land on the clearly positive pregnancy test. Excitement takes over. “You’re pregnant?” You nod as tears come to your eyes. Words escape you as Nat takes her free arm and wraps you in a hug, squishing your Lizzie in between the both of you. “We’re going to have a baby!” Nat’s excitement is evident. 

You feel as little arms push at you. “Mama, Mommy squishing me.” You both laugh as Nat pulls away. Nat’s hand cups your cheek and you lightly nuzzle into her hand. Her thumb brushes your cheek, wiping away the happy tears that have fallen. She leans in kissing you deeply, pouring all the love she has for you in this one kiss. Her dreams of growing a family with you finally coming to forwishen. 

Nat has been absolutely amazing so far, being the most attentive wife as your pregnancy progresses. No matter what craving you are having or what time of day it is she will always get it. No matter how weird or hard it is to find she has gotten you everything you have ever wanted or needed. Even often at night before bed she lays with her head on your belly talking about anything and everything. 

Today is a day that you drop Elizabeth off the preschool and you decide to join Nat at the compound as she helps train new shield recruits. It’s a way you can catch up with the Avengers and you get to watch your wife workout which is always a win. 

You're standing off to the side gazing out among the many people, your hand placed on the side of your swollen stomach. You hadn’t noticed anyone had joined you until you felt your shoulder being nudged. As you look to your side you spot a familiar smiling face. “Wanda.” Wanda gives you a side hug with a big smile. “Hey Y/n/n. May I?” She gestures down to your stomach. You nod and chuckle. She gently places her hand on your stomach. “Wow, growing so fast.” You can’t help but chuckle at her words. “Yeah they are.” Wanda’s eyes shoot to yours as she catches onto your words. “They?” You break out into a wide smile. “Twins.” Wanda can’t help but pull you into an awkward hug with your belly in the way. “Oh my god I’m so excited for you. I bet Nat was ecstatic.” You hug Wanda back. “She is absolutely thrilled and so am I. Lizzie keeps asking when the babies will be here.” You can’t help but smile as Wanda pulls back, keeping her hands on your shoulders. “You two deserve all the happiness. If you ever need a babysitter for the cuties you know who to call.” You tilt your head a little. “The Ghostbusters.” Wanda gasps and playfully slaps your arm. “No silly. I need me some baby time.” You laugh and nod. “You’ll be the first person I call.” 

The two of you go back to a comfortable silence. You look back out into the gym scanning the room for your wife. When you spot her she is sparring with a recruit. Even from afar you can see how her body glistens with sweat. Her hair is put back in a french braid as she wears just a sports bra and some sweatpants. You subconsciously bite your lip as your eyes rake over her body. How her abs shine in the light; how you can see the outline of her bulge when she moves just right. Your underwear is becoming damp the longer you stare at her. All you want to do is rip all her clothes off and take her right there in the middle of the gym, not even caring who sees. 

You are so spaced out that you don’t notice Wanda trying to get your attention. She shakes you a little, snapping you back to reality. “Huh, what?” You turn to look at Wanda, her eyebrow raised in suspicion. “What’s got you so distracted?” Your eyes flick to Nat before flicking back to Wanda. She had a knowing glint in her eyes and a smirk on her lips. You can’t help as your cheeks heat up slightly. “Fuck, the pregnancy has made me so horny. Anything that Nat does has me wanting her more.” You turn to look back at your wife. “Look at her she is so fuckign hot Wanda, I can’t.” You groan. “Y/n I do not look at your wife like that.” She chuckles. “I give you full permission to look at her right now.” Wanda turns to look at Nat. “She does look pretty hot.” You can’t help but let out another groan. “I know right.” 

Nat slams the recruit into the ground as you watch on. You can see her pause for a second as a smile spreads across her face. You watch a little perplexed by the sudden change. She helps the recruit off the ground and says something to them before she starts making her way over to you and Wanda. It doesn’t take her long to reach you. “Hi detka, hi Wanda.” Nat greets you both. “Detka are you feeling a little needy?” Heat rises to your cheeks as your mouth hangs open in shock. Wanda laughs which makes you look over to her. You watch as the swirling red dissipates from her eyes. “You’re welcome.” Wanda laughs as she turns to walk away. “I love you but I hate you at the same time.” You call after her. She just laughs and waves her arms at you. “See you two later.” 

Hands grip your waist and bring you back to Nat who now stands closer to you looking down at you with a smirk. “You know all you have to do is ask baby girl.” Your mouth opens and closes a few times looking up to your wife. “You’re working baby. I-I didn’t want to disrupt you.” Nat shakes her head. “You’re my priority. Anyways I’m done now anyways.” Nat lifts you into her strong arms, you squeak as you cling onto her. She doesn’t care who is looking as she carries you out of the gym. 

“Where are you taking me?” You question Nat. “I still have a room here at the compound so I’m taking my beautiful wife to that bedroom and fucking her full of my cum. We still have a few hours before we have to pick up Lizzie from preschool.” Nat gives you a lopsided grin and you can’t help but let out a small moan at her words. Your wetness is already seeping through your pants. Hearing your moan and feeling how your wetness is seeping through Nat hastily makes her way into her old bedroom. 

As the door shuts behind you Nat locks the door and sets you down. Nat’s lips quickly press against yours. A hungry need for you takes her over as she quickly strips your clothes off your body. She only pulls away long enough to pull your shirt over your head. “Fuck I love you so much.” Nat mumbles against your lips. She starts kicking off her sweatpants and boxers. Her cock springing out, and her hands finding their place gripping your hips tightly. “I love you too.” You mumble back. Nat starts to walk the both of you towards the bed. 

Once you reach the bed Nat pulls away before climbing on the bed. She pulls you into her lap and you can feel her cock rubbing through your soaked folds. She rocks her hips a bit letting your wetness spread across her throbbing cock. Both of you moan at the feeling as her tip nudges against your clit. “Please Natty. I need you.” Your whine is needy but you don’t care all you want is to feel her, have her stretching you out. 

Nat’s hand moves down to her cock and you raise your hips. She lines her cock up with your dripping hole. As you feel it press against you you slowly start to lower yourself down. Impaling yourself on your wifes cock. Your walls stretch to accommodate your wife's size. As you're sinking down Nat’s hands go back to your hips and she lays back a bit onto the pillows. Your hips finally meeting hers as her cock fills you to the brim. Nat groans as your warm wet walls hug her cock. She can’t help but grind her hips up slightly. 

You start to raise up before lowering yourself back down. Starting to slowly bounce yourself on Nat’s cock. With her grip on your hips she helps you bounce on her. Your moans grow louder the longer you bounce. You can’t get enough of your wifes cock filling your tight little hole. “So good.” You slur your words as you grow fuzzy. 

Nat is enamored as she watches your breast bounce. “Fuck you look so beautiful. God these fucking tits.” Nat lets her hands drift up your body, both hands taking one of your breasts into them as she squeezes. Your head falls back and as your mouth opens in a silent moan. “Maybe I’ll keep breeding your perfect pussy hmm. Keep you pregnant and needy for me all the time. You’re just so beautiful carrying my babies.” You nod your head. “Please.” 

As you bounce and both of your orgasms grow the longer you go. Nat sits herself up moving to wrap her arms around her waist. Your belly slightly in the way of her getting as close to you but still loving the closeness. She plants her feet on the bed and starts to thrust up into you. This elicits a loud moan from the back of your throat which just spurs Nat on more. Her thrust are faster and harder as she pulls you down on her. She watches your face as it contorts in pleasure. 

Nat’s hips continue to drive into you and your moans become whiny the closer you grow to your orgasm. Your walls desperately sucking her further in as she pounds up into you. Nat moves her lips, starting to nip and suck at the skin of your neck. She leaves dark purple marks in her wake. The more desperate you are to cum the more desperate Nat becomes wanting to see you fall apart. 

“You’re squeezing me so tight Malyshka. I bet you want to cum all over my cock. Want me to fill up your needy little hole?” Nat mumbles against your skin. You moan and nod your head. “Please Natty need you so bad.” Your walls clamp tighter around her length as she thrust up into you. You can feel as her thrust become sloppier. She is getting close to the edge just the same as you are. 

You grind your hips as she pulls you onto her cock so desperate for her to finish with you. You're teetering on the edge as your walls clamp around her tightly. Your head falls forward and you do your best to nuzzle into her neck. Slightly whining when you can only get so closer with your belly in the way. “P-Please.” You whimper. Nat smiles. “Cum.” She says in a sultry voice. That’s all it takes for you to fall over the edge. You cum hard,  your walls spasming around her length as you coat her cock in your juices. You bite her shoulder muffling your moans as she continues to drive her hips up. 

Feeling your walls spasm around her and grip her cock tightly has Nat falling over the edge right after you. She holds you tightly against her as her cock twitches inside of you. Thick ropes of cum painting your walls white. She desperately ruts up into you prolonging both of your orgasms. “So fucking good.” Nat pants against the skin of your shoulder. You hum an agreement with your wife as you slump into her. Her thrust comes to a stop as she holds your grounding you and just letting you feel her. Letting you feel so full of her. 

You both calm down as your breathing goes back to normal. Holding onto one another in a closeness that you always crave. Nat’s cock still buried deep inside you and it doesn’t take long for you to start feeling needy again. Just the feeling of her cock in you has your brain becoming even more fuzzy. You grind your hips and you can feel Nat hardening again inside of you causing her to groan.

Nat looks at the clock and sees that you still have time before you have to pick up your daughter. So she flips your bodies, laying you down on the bed as she looms over you. Slowly starting to thrust into you again. “Let me take care of you detka.” 

So that is what Nat does through your whole pregnancy. She takes care of you and even after the twins are born she is there by your side. Sticking by you and being the best Mama to your little girl and now to your little twin boys. You couldn’t ask for a better wife or mother to your children.

[sleepiexx]

The Sad Expression on the Face I Love So Much

Remus Lupin x fem!Reader

Note: one bad week and suddenly I’m a fic writing god again. Had a Sirius oneshot planned out and mostly written but I pumped this one out before I could think of an ending to that one so you’re getting this first!

Summary: Your boyfriend patiently awaits your arrival home after a day out with your friends, only to be met with your saddened form.

Warnings: describes what i would refer to as a panic attack, but it’s never expressed to be one

Word count: 1310

Remus was a good man, it was such a shame you couldn’t match his upbeat energy when you entered the door to your shared apartment.

He had heard the front door click open, which sparked a smile on his face. He never wanted to stop your outings with friends, as he knew having relationships with people other than your partner was important— his own friends the truest testament to that statement— yet he couldn’t help but miss you when the house was left without your presence. Which is why he was pleasantly surprised by your early arrival home, no waiting up late for his nightly cuddle tonight, no, rather a nice long cuddle with a movie in the background.

He called out to you as he stood from the couch, scrambling to make his way to the foyer, “you’re home early, darling, how was your day out?”

He stopped in his tracks when he saw you. Your frame stiff, eyes glued to the floor, clearly shined over with tears that have yet to be shed, keys still clutched in your hand, likely because you’d been too distraught to even reach up to put them on the key hook.

“Oh, sweet dear, what’s wrong? What’s happened?” His worried words and the safe environment he had provided made the tears finally fall. In an instant, he was in front of you, wrapping you in his arms. A pained sob ripped its way through your chest, you’d been holding it in far too long.

“My friends…” you began, having a hard time composing yourself to even say what was wrong.

Remus had a hunch what the problem was. He didn’t like your friends for a very specific reason, but he had always stayed firm in the fact that you were the judge in who you were friends with and it was really none of his business who you did and didn’t hang around. He knows he would not listen if you had said you didn’t want him spending time with his friends.

“I- I just… I’ve been really anxious this week,” You started to talk with the shakiest of voices. Remus could tell from the way your breaths started cutting you off that you were beginning to hyperventilate. He didn’t want to stop you from talking it out, though, so he led you to come and sit down beside him where he’d been on the couch before allowing you to continue.

“And irritable— and- and- and you know how I- how I spiral when I’m irritable, because- because I just think such mean thoughts, and- and I just hate myself,” your stutter only got worse the more you revealed, because speaking about it made you think about it, and thinking about it made breathing harder. Not to mention the sniffling you had to do every five seconds so you wouldn’t cover your upper lip in snot.

Remus held your hand, rubbing soothing circles overtop your knuckles and keeping his own breathing as steady as possible in hopes that you would eventually sync up. His free hand moved its way to your back, rubbing up and down.

“I just thought,” you sniffled, futility wiping your face with your sleeve as you continued to cry, “that maybe I’d f-feel- feel better if I went out with- with my friends but..” your lungs seized and your voice came out strained and cracked, “but no.”

You wanted to keep your breathing steady for Remus, but it proved impossible. Your diaphragm seemed to have a mind of its own as it contacted with no care whatsoever of your say so.

“They just kept- kept making that stupid joke,” your voice was drowned in a visceral sadness and a defeated anger, making evident to Remus how you’d held off on sharing your feelings for far too long.

He knew well what joke you were talking about. It never sat right with him, made him clench his fists every time he heard it. It took everything in him not to blow up on your poor excuse of a friend group. He’d played the diplomat with your friends as long as he possibly could.

“Where they-“ sniff. “Pretend that-“ sniff. “They hate me- but- but-“ sniff. “But they get away- get away with it because-“ sniff. “Because I’m such a pushover and- and I never call them ou- out on it.”

Another sob wracked your whole body, Remus pulled you into him, your cheek pressed to his chest as he made a valiant effort to calm you down with his soothing touches.

“I know- I know that I’m a lot-“ sob. “But I- I’m kind. I- I treat th-them good so- so why d-don’t I deserve the same?”

Remus felt his heart drop, holding you steady through what felt like, to you, endless sobbing. He had always thought that you deserved so much more than the friends you made, but he just thought you had a really thick skin towards the subject. Everyone has a breaking point, he supposed, and for his sweet girl, this seemed to be it.

“Oh dove,” he cooed, “of course you deserve better. You are not ‘a lot,’ you are true to yourself, if they don’t understand that then that is their problem. You do so much just for them to be so ungrateful.”

You buried yourself further into him, holding onto him tightly as though he were a buoy in a storm. You sat for a while like that, until you could speak without stuttering as much— still, your quiet voice hardly carried and the heartbroken rasp in it was a sound unlike any heartache Remus had ever experienced “I wish I could control myself sometimes. Just- just make myself shut up once in a while.”

Remus scoffed, “I don’t.”

You looked up at him through heavy lashes, “really?”

You looked as if even a small gust of wind would make you shatter, yet Remus would guard you from it all, wind, or storm, or even shitty friends who don’t appreciate you.

“Of course not, sweetheart, I love how genuine you are. It’s what made me fall for you. That, and how hard you love. I’ve never doubted myself for a second when I’ve been around you.” He brushed some stray hairs from your face, “I have never been able to stand your friends, they aren’t as kind to you as you are to them.”

You nodded. He knew that it would take a while before you fully believed it, but he was willing to shower you in love every day until you believed it. In fact, he was already planning on integrating you into his own friend group, James and Sirius adored you and he had no doubt they’d love the idea. Lily, Marlene, and Mary would all love you too, he knew for a fact that girls nights with them had to be more fun than with your old friends.

For now, though, he’d settle for the calm you’d finally achieved after talking your way through such an intense wave of emotions, he was proud.

“What do you say we go back to our room, have a cuddle, and watch your favorite movie?”

“Yeah,” you mumble.

“Yeah?”

You nod and repeat yourself as he cracks a grin.

You walk hip to hip to your bedroom until you’re finally able to sink into your bed. Remus hands you the tv remote before disappearing into the bathroom, returning with a soft, wet rag covered in makeup remover. Your cheeks seem to tingle as you remember the mess of mascara that must currently paint them, Remus doesn’t hesitate to come wipe you clean. When he’s done, he tosses the rag and leaves a chaste kiss on your nose.

“There,” he mutters, lying beside you and pulling you into his arms, “this is much better, isn’t it?”

[niallhorxns]

Niall Horan x Reader: Panicked

Prompt: You have a panic attack while you're on tour with him, he helps you through it.

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: anxiety, panic attack

A/N: hello!!! i recently discovered there's a painfully limited amount of niall x reader fics out there, so i'm adding to the pot. feel free to send requests / prompts if anyone has ideas they want me to write :) (i especially love angst, so give it to me).

Niall’s laugh fills the air as he leans forward and chats back and forth with the driver. If you weren’t so busy gazing at the views around you, you would’ve held onto the sound of it longer– reminded yourself it’s still your favorite sound in the entire world. 

Tonight is night… forty five? No, forty six. Hell, you can’t remember. All you know is that as far as cities go, this one is small– but it has a certain charm to it that you’ve been admiring the entire ride to and from breakfast.

“Oh, take a look at that,” Niall says, reaching over your lap to point out the window. He’s motioning towards the river, sparkling blue underneath the clear sky, and lined with a cobblestone walkway. “That’s gorgeous.”

He says it longingly– like he wishes he could get out of the car and walk along the path. But of course he doesn’t suggest that. In fact, Niall rarely suggests outings when you’re with him on tour– because he knows how anxious it makes you. Not the outing itself, but the likelihood of him being spotted. You could handle a walk along the river, but you’d have a hard time handling a swarm of people bombarding you on a walk along the river. 

It must drive him crazy– the way you always prefer sticking to the venue or hotel. And while he always claims to understand each and every time you say no to a public dinner, or whatever adventure is planned for the day, you can’t help but wonder if there will come a time that he gets sick of you always anxiously hanging back. 

Your anxiety has ruined so much for you. It’s ruined school events and trips, it’s ruined friendships and opportunities. You don’t want it to ruin your relationship with Niall, too.

For the last year and a half, you’ve been attending therapy consistently– learning breathing techniques and grounding skills to cope with anxiety. 

You wonder if now was a good time to test if it was working. 

“Do we have time before soundcheck?” You ask.  

Niall checks his watch. “It’s only eleven thirty. We don’t have to be back at the venue until one. You want to walk around?” He asks, a hint of surprise in his tone. 

“Yeah, let’s do it,” you agree. 

Niall grins before asking the driver to pull over. 

Hand in hand, the pair of you stroll along the river casually, admiring the views around you. Summer is in full bloom– all the trees a brilliant shade of green, the sky stunningly blue. 

“Look there–” Niall uses his free hand to gesture at a family of ducks swimming along the rivershore. You both stop in your tracks and watch for a moment, a smile spreading widely across your face. 

“This is so nice,” you say. It’s so rare that you actually got quality time with Niall when he was on tour. Sure, you accompanied him to most shows, but you rarely got any shred of privacy. 

This is what life might look like if Niall wasn’t… well, if he wasn’t Niall. You could take quiet walks in the morning along a riverbend. You could sit on park benches and drink your coffee without being swarmed. You’d be free to live your lives– unbothered, undisturbed. 

But that wasn’t reality. And through the years, you learned that the only thing about your situation that you had control over changing was yourself. You couldn’t change the fact that Niall was adored and loved by people wherever you went. But you could try to change how anxious that made you.

You’d accepted the fact that you would always be introverted. People, present company aside, were draining. You’d never get energized from crowds like Niall did, and you’d never like being the center of attention. All you wanted was to be able to handle yourself when Niall inevitably was surrounded by crowds– that way you weren’t always restricted to what you could and couldn’t do whenever he was on tour. 

“It is nice,” Niall agrees. 

“And to think I’d never even heard of this town before,” you add. 

Niall chuckles while you lean further into his side. “I think we’re actually really close to the venue, too,” he says, tilting his head towards the direction of the road. 

The road, which is parallel to the path, curled around a corner and sure enough, in the distance, you could see the faint outline of the venue Niall would perform in tonight. 

“Oh wow, I didn’t realize–” you begin. But before you can finish your sentence, your heart clenches in your chest. Because as soon as you’re far enough along the path to see the road leading to the entrance of the venue, the line of fans waiting to get in appears. 

They’re across the street from the two of you, less than a football field away. Hundreds of fans sit– in their pretty clothes and outfits on the concrete, waiting in the hot sun for your boyfriend’s show. You are simultaneously proud that he is so adored, and terrified that you’ll be spotted. 

“Shit,” Niall mutters under his breath. “Let’s turn back.”

“We can keep going,” you say, trying desperately to prove to him that you really are getting better– that you don’t have to be coddled all the time. 

“We don’t have to–”

“The venue’s closer than the car,” you reply. “It’s fine, let’s just go.” 

“You’re right. Maybe we can just sneak by. Go in the side gate there,” he suggests, nodding towards a side entrance to the venue. “I’m pretty covered up today. You up for that?” 

You nod slowly, although you aren’t sure how true that really was. But at least Niall looked pleased– maybe even a little impressed. 

Following his lead, you keep your head down and just focus on taking one step after another. Your gaze remains fixated on the stone beneath your feet, hoping to evade detection. You breathe in, forcing the air to your stomach– just like your therapist taught you, hold it, and out. 

And slowly, the two of you get closer and closer to the venue, just enough so that you actually start to feel hopeful that maybe you’ll pull it off. 

Until the screaming starts. 

It starts off slow– one person shrieks. 

And then it becomes hysterical– the kind of screams you let out when there’s a snake in the pool or a spider in the shower. Except you know these girls aren’t screaming because of snakes or spiders. They’re screaming because of your boyfriend– who is currently pressed to your side. 

“Oh shit,” he says quietly. “Here they come.”

“Ni–” you whisper, already feeling the panic creeping up your throat. And suddenly, everything you’ve been taught– all the breathing techniques and grounding skills, go out the window. Your mind is blank– frozen. 

“It’s okay,” he encourages you, giving your hand a tight squeeze. “Stand on this side of me.”

He shuffles you so that you’re on his other side– furthest from the group of fans currently running your way while you continue walking towards the venue. You aren’t going to make it in time, you realize– they’re going to catch you first. 

“It’ll be okay,” he repeats to you. “We’re close to the venue, it’ll be okay.”

All you can manage is a weak nod. 

As soon as the group approaches, the warmth from their bodies engulf you like a blanket– slow and suffocating. Niall, of course, handles everything beautifully. “Hello, hello,” he says kindly, remaining so calm. “Afraid we can’t do photos this morning, I’m late for soundcheck… Gotta get inside.”

There are bodies in front of you– there are bodies pressing behind you, bodies around you… everywhere. You lean into Niall’s touch, your clammy hand clinging to his like your life depends on it. In the vague distance, you feel him squeeze back, but it doesn’t feel real. 

“Move please!” A firm voice suddenly shouts above the noise. Instantly, you recognize the voice as one from Niall’s security teaam. Relief floods through you as he makes his way through the group to collect the pair of you. He grabs Niall’s shoulders firmly and guides him forward. In the haste to try and keep up, your sweaty palm slips from his. Desperately, you try to latch back on, but as soon as it parts, bodies slip between you. In an instant, you’re separated from the one person in the entire world that can make you feel safe. 

“Niall—” you try to say, but of course your meek voice is drowned out by the crowd. 

You think you saw a flash of his hair ahead of you, but then a body slams into yours and you stumble, losing track of where it goes. People are pushing forward– to get closer to him. And then suddenly, you can’t breathe at all. Hot bodies all around you, the beating sun above– skin and clothing touching your bare arms. You can’t take it– you’re going to suffocate in here. 

And all you can do is continue to push forward– closer to the gate, hoping that eventually, the crowd will break. 

Everything is simultaneously moving too fast and too slow as the edges of your vision blur, like you’re getting sucked deeper and deeper into a dark tunnel. Chest tightening, you struggle to inhale. 

Until suddenly, someone grabs your elbow, tugging you to your left. You don’t even have the energy to fight it. Instead, you let them pull you sideways until you’re out of the thickest part of the crowd. 

Another one of Niall’s security team that you recognize gave you a concerned look. “You alright?”

You can’t get the words out, so instead you just nod. It’s a lie, though. 

With that, he helps you the rest of the way to the venue. “Move aside!” The security guard yells, his grip on your shoulders tightening as he tries to maneuver his way through. “Move!” 

Using his arm, he sweeps the remainder of the mob from your way and ushers you through the gate. Except, even once you’re inside– separated from the crowd, you’re too far gone to even appreciate it. Instead, you feel the familiar sensation of panic creeping across every inch of your skin, like it has already taken over your entire body. You know you have to get somewhere private, and fast– before you completely fall apart. 

Without even realizing it, your feet start moving. Luckily the attention shifts to the mob of people outside, so no one even notices your attempt to slip away. Or maybe you’re just too engrossed in your own panic to notice anyone noticing you. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting somewhere quiet– somewhere safe. 

You’ve never been to this venue before– but throughout the tour, you’ve learned that most of the layouts are the same. This was an amphitheater– outdoors, minimal options for private breakdowns. Your best bet is going to be the backstage room where you and Niall left your stuff earlier in the day. If you could remember how to get there…

Even though you have no idea where you are going, your body continues to move. It leads you around a couple of corners, past the merch booth and concessions and towards the stage… You’re going to lose it if you don't get somewhere safe fast.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grip your shoulders, causing your entire body to seize. 

“It’s me,” a gentle voice murmurs. "I got you."

Through your foggy haze, you recognize Niall’s touch– except you still can’t breathe. 

One look– that’s all it takes for him to know what was going on. Because he’s the one person on this planet that you’d willingly ever let get close to you during a panic attack. 

“One to five?” he asks, indicating the rating scale the two of you had created for moments like this– so you could communicate just how bad you were feeling. One meant you could stay where you were, maybe take some breaths. Two meant he’d guide you through the grounding skills he knew about, maybe rub your back. Three was on the cusp, probably needed to go to a quiet corner to take some space. Four meant getting somewhere quiet and safe– and fast. Five meant you were probably dying. 

You hold up four fingers. It feels bad– scary. Maybe you’re dying… but you also don’t want to be dramatic. 

“Tell me what you need,” he says. 

You try– honestly, you do. You open your mouth, but all that comes out is a gasp– a plea for help. 

“Okay, it’s okay– c’mon,” he grips your shoulders and begins walking. You have no idea where– honestly you don’t have the capacity to care. All of your energy is focused on not passing out. 

Niall flashes his badge to an employee who lets you backstage. You vaguely recognize the halls he leads you down as the ones where you dropped your stuff earlier. He’s bringing you to his dressing room… because of course he knows exactly what you need.  

Once you’re inside, Niall shuts the door behind you as you stagger inside. Then, he spins around, his hands cupping the sides of your face. 

“Look at me, baby,” he says. “It’s okay– you’re okay.” 

“I– can’t–” you gasp, your own hands flying up to grip his forearms for some sort of lifeline to reality. “I can’t– breathe–” 

“Okay, okay, okay,” he says. He’s trying to stay calm, but you can hear the uneasiness in his voice. “With me.” 

He gives a deep, methodical inhale before letting out a slow, intentional exhale. “Just do it with me. Slow, like this.” 

He continues, and you try to match his pace– to breathe with him, but it feels like someone is gripping your windpipe– squeezing so hard you just can’t get enough air– 

“Niall–” you beg, your voice hoarse. “I can’t–” 

“C’mon, with me,” he repeats earnestly. He’s looking at you with terror in his eyes, but you find comfort in their familiarity just the same. “We’ve done this a hundred times before, you know how to do this.”

“I– I–” you stammer, but the words won’t form. 

“Shh, with me. Everything’s okay. I’m here. We’re both okay,” he assures you. His gaze is just so tender and soft and careful while his thumb grazes your cheek. 

“I- I can’t-” you choke again, “Please-”

“Shh-” he soothes. “Look at me, nothing else, just me.”

Your wide, desperate eyes meet his. You don’t say anything, just shudder and gasp frantically.  

“With me,” he repeats.

Niall produces loud and deliberate, slow and calming, in and out breathes. After a few seconds, you latch onto the sound, mimicking it, and then finally follow along. 

“There you go,” he whispers.

Your facial features slowly start to relax as you’re able to breathe properly.  Without your loud, choking sobs, you’re able to hear your heartbeat pounding in your chest frantically.  

“Good job,” Niall sighs. “Look, it’s just you and me, we’re okay–”

But he can’t even finish his sentence before you lean forward and wind your arms around his neck– desperate and longing for some sort of comfort. Strong, sturdy arms wrap around you as you burrow your face into the nape of his neck. You breathe him in, letting his familiar scent wash over you. 

“It’s okay,” Niall soothes. Upon feeling your shaky body pressed against his, he squeezes tighter. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here, I got you.”

You melt against him in response, bunching the fabric of his shirt into your fist, trying to communicate just how badly you need him to hold you right now. 

And that’s exactly what he does— until you can finally breathe on your own again. 

And then the wave of guilt comes.

Suddenly the realization of everything hit you– what a basketcase you’d been, running off like that, having a meltdown– you probably scared the shit out of him, or at the very least made a fool of yourself in front of the entire venue. Slowly, you pull back. 

“Are you okay?” Niall says before you can even open your mouth. 

You exhale a deep, shuddering breath that you can feel down your entire body. “I’m okay,” you say, your voice raw. “I’m so sorry– I didn’t mean to freak out.”

“Shh. Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay,” Niall says. His hands grip the outside of your shoulders gently. “Don’t apologize– I’m the sorry one, making you go through a crowd like that. That was a horrible idea.”

“It wasn’t even your idea– and I should be able to go through a crowd like that. I don’t know why I always freak out–” you stammer, feeling so upset with yourself. “It’s so stupid.”

“We talked about this, love. Remember? Anxiety doesn’t always make sense. Right? It’s not rational.” 

“I just—” you start, but you stop when you notice how choked up your voice sounds. You take a slow breath. “I wanted to prove to you that I was doing better– that I wasn’t going to freak out every time we went out. But I guess I haven’t made progress, after all.” 

As soon as you feel the tears burning behind your eyes, you dig the heels of your palms into them frustratedly, like you were physically trying to push them away. 

“It’s getting so much better though, baby,” Niall says encouragingly. “This is the first panic attack you’ve had all tour. Unless you’ve been hiding them from me,” he says with a hint of playfulness to his tone. “First one in forty-five shows. That’s incredible. Last tour you were havin’ em every other night it seemed. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but that’s huge.”

You lower your arms and nod pathetically, gaze fixated on the floor. 

“What is it?” he whispers gently. “Talk to me.”

“I’m so scared,” you choke out, “that one day you’re going to get sick of me–”

“Baby,” Niall interrupts. 

“Maybe not me, but all of this,” you say instead. “I mean, you realize you could have anyone, right? But you could especially have someone who didn’t have a meltdown every time they had to face a crowd– Or someone who could actually handle going out in public with you once and a while.” 

“Please look at me,” Niall says, voice gently serious. Pathetically, you do– your lip quivering as tears threaten to spill. “I need you to listen to me when I tell you this, okay?” 

Slowly, you nod. 

“I don’t want anyone else. Not in a million years, okay? I don’t want someone who loves crowds or going out, because they wouldn’t be you. Baby, honestly, I don’t like getting swarmed or photographed, either. If it bothered me that we didn’t go out much– I’d tell you. But it doesn’t. What does bother me is you changin’ things about yourself because you think it’ll make me happy. You make me happy. You. As you are, no changin’ things.”

You let his words sink in and try to believe them. “I’m just sorry you have to deal with me all the time. You have enough on your plate,” you groan, rubbing your tired eyes. 

Niall sighs. “Baby, I sing and play the guitar– do a little dance or two if I’m really feelin’ it. I think I can handle being there for my girlfriend on top of that,” he says. “I love you. And I want you to be okay, always. That’s all I’ll ever want.”

With all your energy seemingly zapped, you lean forward and rest your forehead on Niall’s shoulder. His arms wrap around you again, anchoring you to him. 

“I love you,” you murmur into his shirt. It’s muffled by the fabric, but it's there just the same. 

You feel his hand cradle the back of your neck while he chuckles softly. “Good, because we still have about forty more shows to go.”

[piratefishmama]

Forgiven not Forgotten | Prompt

Steve Harrington was eleven years old when he learned what Homophobia was. It wasn’t through other people making jokes, it wasn’t his parents, who actually found Steve’s little crushes cute as all hell, his mother joking around about how he’d make the perfect little housewife someday as she had him helping with dinner, Steve wearing his own adorable little ‘head chef’ apron as he struggled with the garlic press, her comments made much to his father’s exasperated amusement.

Nobody ever made him feel bad about it. The crushes. Nobody ever put him down or made him feel like it was wrong. Kids didn’t care until close minded grown ups made it a thing. Kids minds were wide open ready to be shaped. It wasn’t a bad thing...

Until Eddie.

Eddie was one of the bigger kids on the playground. Quiet and mysterious, he came to Hawkins halfway through the year from places unknown, his hair buzzed close to his scalp, now growing back thick, brown, and soft enough for Steve to crave touching it. He’d never seen Eddie up close, they didn’t share any classes but… from a distance he was clearly very pretty. With big dark eyes, soft cheeks, and a cute nose, he was perfect.

Steve was sure he’d caught sight of dimples once. DIMPLES.

Lynda Harrington was about five minutes away from being done with dimples, Steve talked about them that much.

Eddie didn’t talk much, he had no friends to speak of, kept to himself in the playground, either reading an impossibly thick book with a pretty picture on the front that Steve couldn’t quite make out, sat under the jungle gym, or laid under the jungle gym scribbling things into a black notebook covered in stickers and scribbled paint marker marks.

He carried a big guitar case sometimes, and Steve occasionally caught him coming from the music rooms, but he’d never heard him play. He wanted too, but hadn’t quite worked out how to make that happen without being forced to talk to him.

And that. That was just far too scary.

He was an older kid from seventh grade, and from what little he’d heard him speak, he had a nice southern twang to his accent that made Steve’s hands all clammy and his chest feel so full of butterflies that he feared he’d float away.

Too scary basically. But he could watch from afar! Afar was safe. Afar was—

“Hey trailer park FREAK!” Oh boy. The biggest kids. Eighth graders. Eddie was just going to the jungle gym, notebook in hand to get a little light doodling in, when they descended upon him. The sporty kids that dominated in dodgeball, the mean ones that picked on the nerds, the popular ones his parents had told him to steer clear of.

“They’re bad influences” his father would say. “Just focus on your classes and keep your distance from those troublemakers.” Steve was happy to do just that. He had a couple of friends but… he kept to his studies and steered clear.

Eddie was quiet, he had no friends, he hung out in the same place every day doing the same thing, he was an easy target. Steve looked for the teachers, any teachers, any grown-ups, but they were all busy elsewhere, Eddie didn’t have any friends to stand up for him, anyone to back him up as the big kids descended, shoving him against the jungle gym’s climbing net, he barely even complained, just told them to leave him alone, which obviously they weren’t going to do, leaving Steve with a choice to make.

He could stay there, where he was, and keep watch from a far as his crushes notebook was stolen, the panic kicking up a notch from Eddie as he rushed forward to try and get it back, demanding “Not my notebook!! Give it back! Please give it back!” To no avail, the two flanking the main bully just shoving him back against the netting while the main bully roughly ransacked through the pages, uncaring as to the damage he was doing despite Eddie’s continued cries for him to stop, he looked again, any adult, any adult would do.

How had no adult noticed yet?!

Steve found himself crossing the distance before he could even think about it, just in time to watch Eddie be thumped in the gut by the biggest of the three, “trailer trash nerd” spat down at him, his torn notebook thrown to the floor, papers torn free from the seam falling out across the woodchip floor, Steve was too late to stop the worse of it but— he could do something.

“Hey!” All three eyes were on him, Eddies not included, he was too busy clutching his gut and trying to reach for his book at the same time “U-uh… uhm” Steve turned his head and holy shit hallelujah “teachers coming! Better scram before she catches you!” She wasn’t even coming, she was just there, close enough that it made a difference.

The boys got out of there, each one pushing the other to move faster to get out of dodge before the teacher came. At least Steve hadn’t had to stand up to them, just… make them leave. They were probably about to go anyway, given they’d already done enough damage to put their point across.

Eddie was right there, nursing his wounds, trying to gather his papers up, so close, Steve could feel his palms clam up, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute. He pushed through, bending down to pick up a scrunched up ball of paper, he gently began unfolding it. It was nerve wracking, every second he spent in Eddies presence, the boy watching him hesitantly, big dark eyes rimmed red with unshed tears, brown. His eyes were brown. Steve gulped down his own saliva.

“You should uh… you should ignore those guys.” WORDS! He managed words. Okay. He could do this.

“Yeah? What’s it to you?” Eddie was upset, he probably didn’t mean the bite to his tone, it was okay, it’d be okay.

“I just… I mean, it’s not bad, y’know. To be like… nerdy and stuff, you shouldn’t listen to them. They’re just jealous cause you’re… y’know, creative and uhm… an smart, an really talented at drawing and—and people really like that.” He offered the creased paper back as Eddie rose to his feet, wrecked notebook tightly clutched in his arms, he took it back, not quite snatched but… it wasn’t taken gently.

“Yeah, what people? So far things ain’t exactly been makin me feel welcome here.” He shoved the paper full of… god Steve didn’t even know, but Steve knew they were doodles of some kind, winged things, and skeleton monsters, they were cool! Eddie could draw! Steve couldn’t draw, he could barely make stickmen work, the legs were always mismatched lengths, and the arms were never coming from the same point of the stickman’s stick body.

“I mean…” Steve fumbled with his own fingers, warmth decorating his cheeks, pinking the tips of his ears this was it! He could do it, he could tell him, and it’d be fine, and maybe they could hold hands or something, that’d be neat “people… people like me… I—I like you, I mean… I like you a lot and—and I just… I was just wondering if—if maybe—”

“Ew” Steve stopped dead, eyes snapping to the other boy, the other boy who looked at him with an icy disgust that wrapped its frozen claws around Steve’s heart and clenched “that’s gross. Boys can’t like other boys, that’s so fuckin weird!” Weird? It was weird? Steve looked around him, panic filling his very being, from his head to his toes every inch of him felt wrong all of a sudden, his heart beating faster and faster only this time it wasn’t good “and they call me a freak, freak.”

His small fist connected with Eddie’s face without thought, right in the nose. Instinct to fight rearing its head for the first time in his life, panic replaced so swiftly by an anger so unlike him he was consumed by it, and the resulting pained cries filled him with a sick sense of satisfaction that he enjoyed far more than the panic, than the sense of wrong in himself at Eddie’s words.

He didn’t say anything else to Eddie, he just, left him there by the jungle gym, crying in pain holding a bleeding nose. His book dropped to the floor, ruined papers strewn across the woodchip.

And his dimples?

Never to be thought of again.

—Until the boathouse in '86 when everything went to shit for the fourth time in a row.

Part 2

[kaihuntrr]

one-year anniversary!

HI. oh my goodness can you believe its been a WHOLE YEAR (and a day, im posting this a day later OOPS-) since i started working on this au? i dont think i started working on the chapters until... the -ber months? but the general brainstorming started now and oh my GOD the amount of changes that has happened while working on this au is insane! im absolutely floored with how much people enjoy this au, and while im too busy to be posting art (im doing some personal work!) i have all the time in the world to talk about how much this means to me.

i've written things in the past, but i havent for the LIFE of me worked on such a long project such as this (we're only halfway through act one of FIVE!) and learning and growing with such wonderful betas and partner (ehehe @mewhoismyself hello there) is just so wonderful <3

SO! in order to make this anniversary special, i've decided to post a little cut/practice scene from act two! this couldnt make the cut with what the plot has in mind, but i figured itd be best to have some nice moments with scott and martyn, eh?

OH! and before i go, the next chapter will be posted a day earlier! <3 im going abroad the day after the original chapter posting date, so i need to rest. i think this back half of the fic is gonna be really something <3

anyway, i wont keep you here for longer. i hope you have a fun time reading this, just as much as my partner and i had fun writing this so many months ago <33

Martyn tried to listen as Scott rambled on about what he’d been up to, how nice it had been to see his friends again. He even tried to let the small twist of jealousy at Scott being so happy over seeing someone else wrench his attention back into the moment, but it didn’t work. The face of Pearl kept flashing in the forefront of his mind, her eyes and jagged scar glowing unnaturally under the moonlight. 

“Oh, and…,” Scott continued to ramble on, but Martyn still couldn’t focus. It seemed that Scott had noticed as his voice trailed off and he looked at the blonde with a tilted head. “Martyn…?”

Martyn gave a grumbled response. His mind blocked out the world around him as he pictured brief flashes of the island, the hollow and desolate stares of the people, the wicked laugh coming from Pearl….

Scott sighed. “Martyn….”

Martyn could still feel a slight buzz in his head from where he was hit. How much blood did he lose back there? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he was glad to be alive. Glad that he was here, still breathing, like everyone else. Glad that he was–

“Martyn!”

Martyn jerked as Scott’s face was suddenly inches from his own. Scott’s lips were twisted into a pout and his eyebrows were drawn into a scowl. “Huh- sorry, what?”

Scott sighed, letting his head fall forward, “So you weren’t listening to me….”

“No!” Martyn said quickly, throwing his hands up. Panic leapt in his chest, making his heart beat faster. He didn’t want Scott to think he was ignoring him…! “No, I- I’m… I’m sorry…,” he hung his head. “I’m trying to listen- I’m not meaning to ignore you, I just….” Martyn looked down at the sand beneath him. Guilt welled up in his throat. He’d been so eager to see Scott while he was away, and before he’d gotten back, and now that he was actually here… Martyn was ignoring him. He was making Scott feel ignored.

Martyn shook his head, forcing a huge smile onto his face. “So, you said you saw your friends, right? Did you have fun-? Oh, what am I saying, you just said you had fun- haha…,” Martyn scrubbed the back of his head, then straightened up, rolling to his feet. “Hey, do you wanna go see if we can find your bird friend? I bet it’s missed you too!” He pointed towards a path leading up to the forest, “Bet he lives in there somewhere…!”

“Um- Martyn…,” Scott trailed off looking after him.

Martyn took a few steps backwards, away from Scott, and spread his arms, hoping he’d follow. “Or we can go down to the beach! It’s a nice day, it’ll feel great to splash in the water a little.”

“Martyn.”

“Or- oh, we can go see the decorations they’re setting up for the festival down in the center of town. You said you were excited right, so we can-!”

“Martyn!” Scott snapped. 

Martyn stopped.

Scott took the few steps to close the distance between them, laying his hand on Martyn’s arm, then sliding it down to take his hand. He tilted his head, giving Martyn big sad eyes. “Martyn, talk to me…. What’s wrong?”

It was hard for Martyn to not crack under Scott’s gaze. “It’s just…,” he trailed off, trying to put his thoughts into words. He was just engrossed in them a second ago, but now, trying to tell Scott, he couldn’t think of what to say. “I… uh….”

“You’re alright, Martyn,” Scott rubbed his thumb over Martyn’s hand in a small, circular motion. “Take your time.”

A small pause fell over him. Martyn could hear the slow ebbs of the waves before he managed to speak. “I can’t get her out of my mind,” his voice spat with venom. Pearl’s sadistic glee, her manic grin, her ever-looming presence burned in his head. Martyn’s grip unknowingly tightened around Scott until he looked the other in the eye. His grip on Scott lessened as he looked away. “What good can I be to protect you, when I can’t defend myself from one person?”

“Who said I needed protecting?” Scott raised an eyebrow, his tone still soft but with a hint of skepticism as he leaned to the side to catch Martyn’s gaze again. He let out a weak chuckle and moved his other hand to rest on Martyn’s cheek. “Besides, you can’t protect me from everything.”

Martyn leaned into the touch, not caring how warm his cheeks felt as Scott’s delicate hand pressed into his skin, lightly grazing over the scar Pearl caused. He closed his eyes as he let out a sigh and drooped his shoulders. “But I want to…,” he muttered. He looked at Scott, his face scrunched with worry. “I don’t want you getting hurt at all, Scott.”

“There’s going to be times where I get hurt, Martyn,” Scott narrowed his eyes and withdrew his hand from Martyn’s cheek. Martyn was wide-eyed, only for Scott to hold the hunter’s other hand. “When that happens, all I’d ask is for you to help me get back on my feet.”

Martyn could feel his nerves freeze up at Scott’s warm hold. His gentle stare and concern on his face nearly caused Martyn’s heart to explode. A million things swirled in his mind as the breeze wafted over. “I can’t help it,” he lowered his head, biting his lip. “You should be protected, with all the chaos going around–”

“What chaos?” Scott cracked a smile and shook his head. He shrugged, letting go of one of Martyn’s hands as he gestured around. “All there is to see is you, me, and the beach. Nothing to worry about, right?”

Nothing to worry about for now, but so many things could happen in the blink of an eye. Martyn could practically hear the sound of the sea princes’ ringing in his ears, the one from his dreams laughing as its mouth opened wide to swallow Scott as he screamed-.... 

No. Martyn needed to be prepared for anything, so nothing bad could ever happen to the people he cared for. Nothing. Never again. 

“I still want to fight for you,” his voice was barely a whisper in the wind, cracking a bit from the emotions that crawled up the back of his throat. But seeing Scott’s attentive look, with the slight tilt of his head, Martyn knew he could hear him. “Can I at least do that?” he pleaded. He needed to-. He needed to. 

“You may,” Scott nodded, giving him a small smile. Then his eyes narrowed as a smirk crept onto his lips. “So- I’d like to see how you fight.”

Martyn opened his mouth to respond- just in time for a woosh of breath to leave him as his back hit the ground. Martyn gasped, blinking for several seconds as he tried to figure out he’d gotten laid flat out on his back… with a certain ginger pinning his shoulders to the sand.

“Yikes…,” Scott teased, his eyebrows rising, complimenting the wide grin on his face.

Martyn sputtered, his face immediately flushing beat red. “I wasn’t ready! Sneak- sneak attack…!”

Scott laid one arm across his chest, propping his other elbow on top of it and laying his cheek in his hand. “Most things will take an opportunity for a sneak attack, when presented with one.” He kicked his feet in the air, as if he was lounging on a couch reading a book. 

Martyn flushed all the way to his ears. “Redo!”

Scott leaned his head down, smiling at Martyn in a way that was almost sickeningly sweet. “Are you waiting for a written invitation?” 

Martyn grabbed Scott by the shoulders and surged upwards, knocking the ginger off of him. Scott laughed as he slipped his grip, ducking under one of Martyn’s arms to wrap his arms around Martyn’s torso. 

Before Martyn’s brain could fully process that, Scott had rolled Martyn over top of him and planted him flat on his back again. 

Working on instinct more than pre-thought, Martyn wrapped his arms around Scott’s shoulders and kicked off the sand. He knocked his thigh against Scott’s hip, bumping him off balance just enough to send them rolling over again.

But Scott didn’t end up on his back underneath Martyn. 

Somehow, mid flip, he’d slithered around Martyn’s torso, ducking his arm again and getting outside of his hold. Martyn ended up with his face in the sand and a knee pressed between his shoulders, shoving him down further.

Martyn was about to push himself up with his arms, using his strength advantage to throw Scott off of him, but Martyn froze when he felt something sharp curl around his throat. 

He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even swallow. He could barely even breathe. 

Suddenly the sharp points of crescent bladed scythes were touched against his neck so delicately. Suddenly the sharp claws of a hungry beast wrapped around his throat, pricking the skin above his jugular. One wrong move and she’d slid his throat. One wrong breath and the beast would tear him to ribbons.

A figure above him bent down to whisper in his ear. 

“I win!” Scott chirped brightly. He laughed as he withdrew his fingernails from where he’d curled them around Martyn’s throat. “You really do need more practice. Though I’d be happy to oblige…,” his voice turned sing-songy as he plopped back on the sand, his arms holding him up.

Martyn slowly pushed himself upwards, staring down at the sand where his face had been in utter bafflement. Why had that felt-? Why was he-? Why was his heart beating so fast? Why… did he feel like he’d just been hunted…?

“That- that uh…,” Martyn stammered, not really sure what he wanted to say. “You’re a lot better fighter than I thought you’d be.” He turned his head to look at Scott, pushing himself up so he was sitting on his knees.

“I know,” Scott smiled widely, tipping his head back and forth, “Do I impress you, Martyn?” He smiled and hummed teasingly, his eyes narrowed in a joyful satisfaction. 

“Always,” he breathed, a lot more genuine and heartfelt than he’d meant to. Scott’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Martyn felt his face flush and he looked down at the sand. Well, he was in this far. “I think you’re amazing.” 

“Thank you…,” Scott said with a shy little smile. A light hint of red dusted his cheeks. He looked… really nice like that.

Martyn shook his head, roughly clearing his throat. “Well um, as- as fun as this was… I was actually referring to- to my gun combat more than my hand-to-hand.”

“Uh huh,” Scott answered with a small smirk, not sounding like he believed him. “Well, maybe I could help you with that as well.” 

“You know how to use a gun?” Martyn asked, more than a little shocked. How… how much did he really know about Scott?

Scott opened his mouth, then closed it. He looked to the side, then looked back at Martyn. “Noooo…?” he admitted, grinning sheepishly. He sighed, rolling his eyes a bit, “To be honest I thought you were still flirting, not that that was a serious question. And now, well… I’m just embarrassed.”

“Oh.” Martyn tried to hide his sigh of relief. It was one thing to just not know that Scott was a capable fighter -he was a tavern keeper who dealt with rowdy drunks all the time, Martyn honestly should have expected it- but it was another thing to not know that Scott was a trained gunman. For some reason they felt different. Martyn felt a grin split his face. “Would-... would you like me to teach you…?”

“Teach me what?” Scott’s eyebrows pinched together for a brief moment, then shot up towards his hairline, “How to use a gun?”

“Yeah,” Martyn grinned, “It’ll be like the time I was taught!”

“When were you taught?” Scott tilted his head.

“I think I was… seven? My parents knew I wanted to be a hunter, so they taught me,” Martyn hummed, looking out at the beach. He could remember the eagerness in his voice when he asked his parents to teach him. He only knew of the dangers through them and the people he lived around, but he knew his heart was calling out to the sea more than anything else.  “I needed practice, like everyone else, but I’m a natural. A crack shot, they’d told me!” He laughed. Shooting a target from far away was much easier than fighting with swords or his bare hands. 

Scott blinked, processing Martyn’s words. He slowly turned his head to Martyn, eyes widening in shock as all sense of his playfulness dropped. “You were a child when you learned how to use those?”

“Yeah…? I wanted to be a hunter, Scott, so I learned early.” Martyn looked at Scott and shrugged, feeling the ginger’s gaze on his skin felt… different. Martyn learned how to use guns to be a hunter, not to– oh. Was Scott thinking Martyn would…? Martyn shook his head and raised his hands up. “But I can’t shoot a person. A sea monster is easy because they’re big and stupid, but a person…?”

Scott had a judgemental look on his face as it scrunched up. He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, resting his head on it as he sighed. “Ending a person’s life is hard, and I’m happy you haven’t shot anyone, but…,” he trailed off. Martyn leaned closer to Scott as he raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you think it’s a little concerning?”

“What’s concerning?”

“You learned how to shoot things, how to kill things, as a kid,” Scott looked away, gripping his arms tighter as he watched the waves flow in and out. “Every life has a purpose; from you, to me, and even the beasts in the ocean.”

Martyn narrowed his eyes. Exactly what purpose could those monsters serve? Being ocean terrors? An effective way to kill humans and destroy ships? To bring fear in the hearts of children? To kill Ren- Jimmy? Why were there monsters in the ocean? Why should there be? 

“They’re monsters, Scott.” Martyn hissed, anger rising in his voice.

“They’re animals,” Scott hissed back, his face pinching into an expression that was almost pained. “They’re just animals….” 

“They’re heartless, cruel, and always starving.” Martyn huffed, pulling out his gun to examine it under the sunlight. Horrible beasts. Disgusting monsters. Murderers. “They’re such horrible, unnatural beasts that every mechanic in the world works to develop better guns and weapons to kill them all.” 

He didn’t fully notice the way Scott shied away from the gun in his hand. “You’re lucky you don’t need to leave the kingdom to see those ugly things,” Martyn spat.

“Ugly…,” Scott grumbled, turning his head away, like he was offended by the notion. “Well, I’m sure most of them would think the same about you.”

Martyn blinked, giving Scott a double take. Ugly…? 

Scott let out a sigh as he stretched and uncurled his legs and arms to stretch out in front of him. He picked up a small handful of sand and watched it fall through his fingers. “Every life is precious, every life is running on limited time. I’m not an idiot. I know things die. But there’s no reason to cut it shorter than it needs to be. ” He smiled wistfully, tossing the rest of the sand forward. “The sea is… scary, but maybe if you had an open mind, you’d see there’s more to it than monsters.”

Martyn followed Scott’s gaze and stared. Was there anything more to them? Surely not. The fondness in Scott’s voice was hard to believe- but the man has never even seen any beast to Martyn’s knowledge. The fond tone that Scott spoke about those- those monsters with… it honestly made Martyn angry. Those monsters took away the people he cared about. The people he loved. People he cherished. Jimmy, Ren… and so many other innocent people lost their lives to the sea, Lizzie’s parents…. The ocean took all of them, and there was nothing to blame but the monsters that infested it.

“They’re monsters, nothing more than that,” he spat, emotions in his chest wrenching into a tight knot that made it hard to breathe. He swung his arm out to the side, bringing his gun up in front of his chest as he rose to his knees, almost looming over Scott. “I know what they are, Scott, and I know I’m doing all that I can to protect you and the rest of the kingdom from the beasts that would just as quickly swallow you whole as they would crush you into pieces!”

“There’s no need for you to be so hostile about it,” Scott snapped at Martyn, his eyes narrowing into a cold glare that felt like icy daggers stabbing into Martyn’s face. Scott stood up and brushed all the sand from his clothes with a sigh. “I understand.” He walked closer to the water, just enough for the waves to lap against his shoes and tightened his fist, as if preventing to lash out.

Martyn blinked. “Was I-?” he muttered to himself. 

He looked out at Scott standing in the surf. He looked… sad. The guilty feeling in his chest built up once more. 

All of a sudden, Martyn remembered just how happy Scott looked with his birds fluttering around him, with the canary nuzzling his palm. Oh-. Scott was an animal lover…. No wonder he-.

Martyn was messing everything up. First he’d ignored him, and he was pushing Scott away by getting angry. Martyn quickly stood up and ran across the beach towards Scott, “Oh, Scott, I’m sorry–”

Scott turned to look at him, a flat expression on his face.

Martyn felt his heart twist, “I- I’m sorry. I- I didn’t mean to make you feel….”

“Upset?” Scott supplied.

“Yeah…,” Martyn bowed his head. His hand twitched out, reaching for Scott’s but giving up and retreating before he could take it. Martyn turned his head away and bit his lip. “I-... I made you-....”

Scott stepped closer and held out his hand. “No need for that, silly hunter,” he smiled sweetly. Martyn took it almost immediately, surprising them both. Scott let out a chuckle and bumped his shoulder next to Martyn’s. “I’m not mad,” Scott said softly. Martyn believed him. He looked… sad instead. 

“I don’t want you to–”

“You’re just fine.” Scott assured him with a smirk. “It takes a lot more than a simple disagreement to make me actually upset. We’re okay, right?” 

Martyn bashfully nodded, resulting in a wide smile from Scott. Was he… really okay? Or was he just hiding how he felt? For Martyn’s sake? Martyn hoped it was the former. 

Scott put a hand on his chest, giving Martyn’s hand a small squeeze. “Just… try to keep an open mind, alright? The world can be… stranger than you might think.” He smiled a little bashfully, “I might have- a surprise or two… to share, eventually.”

“Like how you can kick my butt in hand to hand?”

Scott’s face split into a wide grin, his eyes lighting up with laughter. “Just like that.”

Martyn felt himself smiling, a laugh escaping him as he squeezed Scott’s hand. Yeah, they were okay.

[afictionaladventure16]

Could you do meeting stepdad! Pedro for the first time? Please and thank you!😭💗

To Build a Home (Pedro Pascal x Teen!Reader)

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

A/N: I feel like this one was too short but I've been having writers block and this is the best I could do! I hope you enjoy it!! <3

Word Count: 2,880

Summary: Your mother decides it is time for you to meet her boyfriend of six months, you are defensive at first, but you think you could get used to the idea of having this one around more often.

This is fine. 

Everything about this situation is okay. 

No need to panic. You thought to yourself. Watching your mother frantically cook in the kitchen as if her life depended on it. You have never seen your mother this frantic since the day your grandmother decided to do a surprise visit. 

“Mom?” you quietly said, walking around the counter. 

“Honey, can you grab me some garlic, it should be next to the bananas… bananas… shit! I forgot to make dessert!” She groaned to herself as she handled the hot pan in front of her. 

You sighed, grabbing the garlic and setting it down on the counter beside her, “Mom,” you said a little louder. 

“What, honey?” She quickly gave you a glance before taking notice of the garlic you had placed on the counter. She grabbed it, taking it over to the cutting board. 

“Can you look at me for a moment?” You asked desperately. 

She sighed, putting down everything before turning to give you her full attention. “Si, Cariño?” 

“I don’t know if I want to do this anymore.” You regretted the words as soon as they had left your mother, seeing the reaction on your mother's face. How her eyes watered and her mouth frowned. 

“But, Cariño, you told me you were ready. We had a whole discussion– I don’t understand.” 

You sighed, “I know, I–I think I’m nervous ‘s all.” 

“Nervous? Sweetie, how do you think we feel?” You shrugged, “Pedro has been messaging me all week about how he wants to cancel because he’s nervous.” She sighed, “Honey, you’re not the only one that is feeling this way.” 

“So, we should cancel?” 

She shook her head, “It’s time for you to meet Pedro.” You feared that she would say that. It only meant one thing. One thing you truly feared, she was deeply in love with him. That what they had was something serious and it could lead to them becoming more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. It meant that you would now have to share your mother with someone and you weren’t sure how you felt about that. 

Especially with how the last time ended. You still had nightmares from when your father was around, images in your head that never left. What if Pedro turned out to be just like your father? 

“Okay,” you felt defeated. Your mother was a person who didn’t budge. Once she had made a decision it was final. 

“Now you either help me cook or you get out of my kitchen,” she stated, turning her body to face the counter once more to busy herself with the garlic in front of her. 

For the longest, it had always been you and your mother. Your father had no visitation rights since you were eight, so for the past five years, you and your mother picked up the pieces and started a new life. A better life. 

Your mother focused mainly on work in the filming industry and eventually, she was able to afford a nice house for the two of you. That’s what it was, just the two of you. You never imagined that one day, it could potentially be three of you. That your mother would one day want to find love again. 

“Do you love him?” You hesitantly asked. 

Your mother stopped everything, letting out a deep sigh, “I’m afraid to answer that question,” she admitted. 

You were afraid she would dodge that question, but also you were sad that she had. You had hoped that your mother wouldn’t tip-toe around the subject with you. Maybe she could be honest with you about a topic that wasn’t common in this household. 

“Be honest with me,” you reassured. “Do you love him?” 

“Love is a strong word,” she whispered. 

“And your daughter meeting him is a big step.” 

“Yes,” she admitted. “I do love him.” 

You gave her a small nod, “Then that’s enough for me.” 

She gave you a smile before walking around the counter to pull you in for a hug, “Thank you.” 

“But this doesn’t mean that I’m not going to give him a hard time, I still don’t trust the man.” You grabbed one of the potatoes that were on the counter, grabbed the peeler, and made your way over to the trash can. “Don’t expect me to call him dad,” you said jokingly, referencing to the movie Stepbrothers. 

Your mother giggled, “I don’t expect that at all from you, amor,” she smiled. 

The hour quickly passed, and you anxiously sat on the couch, your eyes not peeling away from the clock on the wall. Your foot bounced against the wooden floors, creating a gentle but persistent thud. The sound echoed throughout the room and for a moment you were glad your mother was busy in the kitchen, distracting herself with the neatness of the dining room and kitchen and if she had enough time to whip up something quick for dessert. You could hear her muttering to herself about whether Pedro would enjoy a bar of chocolate for dessert or if that was stupid. 

It was any second that Pedro would walk through those doors and your life would change for either the worst or the best. You didn’t know which and you were afraid to find out. 

“Sweetie, are you going to wear that?” Your mom asked as she walked into the living room.

You looked down to see what you were wearing, it was what you had worn to school, a plain tee, flannel, and some jeans. It was casual wear for you, “Um, yes?” She raised her eyebrows, “would you like for me to change?” 

She sighed, “Would it be fucked up for me to say yes?” 

“Kind of, I mean, if he really liked me he wouldn’t care what I wore right? But, on the other hand, I can change to make you feel less anxious.” 

Your mother stood there for a second, thinking about what you had just said. Giving you a small nod, “Don’t change,” she stated. 

You smiled, knowing you had won, “Alright.” 

Your mother's head whipped towards the door at the sound of the doorbell, “Oh my god, that’s him.” She let out a deep breath before looking over at you, “is it too late to cancel?” 

“Hey, I tried earlier but you said it was too late.” 

“Fuck,” she muttered under her breath, “What the fuck am I doing? I mean, are we even ready for something like this?” 

You sighed, getting up from the couch, “Ama, I think you’ve been ready for a while, you’ve just been scared, but I’m no longer a little girl, Mom. You deserve happiness.” 

She gave you a soft smile, placing a hand on your cheek, “Cuando creciste?” (When did you grow up)

“Cuando no estabas mirando,” you smiled. (When you weren’t looking) 

“Alright, let’s do this,” she whispered. You trailed behind her as she walked towards the door. You stood back, watching as your mother opened the door. She deserved happiness, no matter what. Even at the cost of yours. She deserved it. 

After everything she had been through to protect you, it was the least you could give her. You saw the way she had been these past few months, the after-dates smile, and how she grinned from ear to ear the day after. He made her happy and it scared you, but you couldn’t tell your mother that. You couldn’t ruin it because somehow seeing her so happy made you happy, even if you were weary about the man who was causing it. 

Your mother's voice was muffled as she greeted Pedro on the other side of the door. Meeting him meant a lot of things, it meant that it was no longer the two of you on adventures, that he would more than likely tag along. It meant that eventually, you would have to get used to your mom always being with him. He could be here for breakfast some days and you know what that meant. He could be here for dinners on other days and it also meant expressing boundaries. 

She deserved this happiness. 

“Y/N,” your mother called for you as she stepped aside to let Pedro in. There he was, with a nervous smile playing on his lips and a bouquet of flowers in his hands that you knew was for your mother. “I’d like for you to meet my daughter, Pedro.” 

He let out a nervous laugh, “It’s so nice to finally meet you, your mother speaks so much about you.” He held out his free hand for you to shake, and you gently shook his hand. 

“Nice to meet you too,” you gave him a hesitant smile. 

“Oh! I got you these, your mother said you loved sunflowers and well,” he nervously chuckled, “I hope you like ‘em.” 

You gave him a surprised look, glancing at your mom who grinned from ear to ear, “For me?” He gave you a nod, “T–thank you, I–I don’t know what to say!” Pedro handed you the bouquet that was beautifully displayed sunflowers with a few purple flowers here and there and baby’s breath surrounding them. “They’re beautiful, thank you, Pedro!” 

Pedro grinned from ear to ear, he relaxed a little. He had been nervous all day about handing you the flowers, afraid that you’d reject them. Maybe this dinner wouldn’t be so bad and maybe he could bond with you after all. He knew some things about you from what your mother had said, but it was only some things. He did know the struggles you and your mother had gone through, knowing very well that this transition wasn’t going to be easy for you. Pedro is determined to try his best to get you to trust him because all he wants is to be a positive influence in your life, it was the way he was. His heart broke to hear what you had been through at such a young age and he wished there was something he could do. Something he could do for you and your mother. 

“Well, dinner is ready,” your mother states, “let me show you to the dining room.” 

“I-I’m gonna put these away,” you say as you walk towards the kitchen. You set the flowers on the counter, staring at them for a second. This was the first time anyone had gotten you flowers. Your first time getting flowers were supposed to be meaningful. A moment you’d remember forever and for a second you were afraid he had just ruined that. For just a second and it was gone, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the bouquet. “Don’t,” you whispered to yourself. The sound of your mother's laughter coming from the other room. This all felt too good, it would all soon come tumbling down and you knew that, but you did not know if you could handle it. 

You took in a deep breath before joining your mother and Pedro in the dining room. You sat across from Pedro at the table, “smells good,” you commented as you began piling food on your plate. 

“Thanks, mija,” your mom smiled. 

“So, Y/N, your mother tells me you are in the drama club at school?” You gave him a nod. 

“She’s thinking about starting auditions for actual films soon, right, mija?” 

You shrugged, “It’s still a big maybe.” 

“For film? I mean, it doesn’t hurt to try.” 

“Maybe Pedro could give you some pointers,” your mother suggested. 

You cleared your throat, “So, how many siblings do you have?” 

“Y/N,” your mother warned. 

Pedro chuckled, “It’s okay, Yesenia.” For a moment you forgot your mother had a first name, you were so used to just calling her mom. “I have three siblings.” 

“Pedro, you don’t have to answer her questions, she does thi-” 

“How many sisters and how many brothers?” You asked. 

“Two sisters, one brother.” 

You nod, “Please stop interrogating him,” your mother pleaded. 

You gave her a small glare before looking over at Pedro, “Where are you from?” 

“Chile,” Pedro smiled. He found this amusing and cute. You were protective over your mother and he loved that you were. “Next question?” 

“When did you move here?” 

“That’s a long story.” 

“I have all night, it’s a weekend.” 

“Y/N,” your mother warned. 

Pedro chuckled, “It’s okay.” He looked back over at you, “Long story short, my family moved here when I was very little but we had to go back when I was a little older when I was old enough I moved back on my own to pursue acting.” He gave you the cliff notes of his life, leaving out the personal details that were still hard for him to talk about, but enough to keep you satisfied. Your mother gave Pedro a sincere smile and he smiled back. She knew the longer version of the story and she was grateful he was answering your questions to his best ability. “Next question?” he asked. 

“Do you want more kids?” 

Your mother rolled her eyes, “No,” he chuckled.

“No?” 

“Yes, he said no and I don’t want more kids either, Y/N,” your mother stated.

“Why not?” you directed the question towards Pedro.

“Because of my schedule mostly, but I also never saw myself having kids. I’m already almost fifty and I don’t think it’s fair on the kid to have a parent that old, you know?” 

“Plus, your mother can’t have any more kids and if she could she wouldn’t because childbirth is no joke.” 

You rolled your eyes this time, “Alright, last question.” 

“Hit me with it,” Pedro stated. 

“What are your intentions with my mother?” 

“Y/N!” your mother warned.

Pedro chuckled, “I love your mother and I love spending time with her and right now I would like to get to know you because I know you mean the world to her. I know you both have…” Pedro hesitated, “I don’t intend on hurting your mother in any way. I see myself spending a lot more time with her and hopefully, one day, growing old with her.” 

You watched as his eyes never left your mother, the way they idolized her as if she were the only thing that mattered. He really loved her and you could see it in him, but could you trust him? You didn’t know. It was hard to know. You barely had any trust, to begin with. 

You remained quiet the rest of the dinner, listening to the two of them laugh as they joked around and told stories about some of their dates or their time together on set. He was an actor, he’d be on the road a lot and your mother knew that yet she was okay with it. She was okay with everything about him. 

Your mother got up to answer a phone call, leaving the two of you alone. 

You pushed your food around with your fork, “You okay?” 

You glanced up at Pedro, his eyes showing concern, how you hated that they did that. “Yeah.” 

He sighed, placing his fork down, “You don’t have to like me.” 

“You got me flowers,” you whispered. 

“Your mother kept mentioning how you loved sunflowers, and it felt like the right thing to do.” 

“No one has ever gotten me flowers,” you stated. 

Pedro sighed, “I’m sorry if I stepped over the line or–” 

“No, you didn’t… just taken back ‘s all.” 

He gave you a small nod, “Do you like them?” 

“Love them,” you corrected. Giving him a small smile, he smiled back. “I just… I always kind of dreamt that my dad would be the first person to get me flowers, you know?” 

He nodded, “I’m sorry, I probably should’ve–” 

“It’s okay,” you reassured. 

He sighed, “I’m not him, you know.” You stayed quiet. “I know, you don’t trust me because of him, but I am not him and I’m willing to give you all the time you need in order for you to allow me in your life. I love your mother, Y/N and I hope that if you get to know me and I get to know you… we could develop a sort of bond… would that be okay?” 

There was a little voice inside your head that was screaming yes, she was shouting it so loud that it gave you a headache. Yet, your mouth never moved, seconds passed and you sat there wondering if it would be okay. The little voice argued with the bigger one. One was more naive than the other and one was more hurt than the other. 

Your mother stepped back into the dining room, “I was thinking while on the call, maybe the two of you should hang out together sometime soon? Without me there, get to know each other you know?” 

Pedro smiled, “Sounds good to me, what do you think, Y/N?”

You shrugged before giving your mother a nod. 

She clapped in excitement, “I’ll plan it out for you guys! It’ll be great!” Would that be okay? His voice trailed inside yours for the remainder of the dinner. You wanted it to be okay, but you couldn’t give him an answer, not just yet anyway.

Pedro Pascal Taglist: @Sophieelizabeth01  @tracysnook  @cilliansangel  @change-the-world-someday  @graciegoeskrazy @oggystine93 @t-stark35 @twkobii @picklehat3r @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @white-wolf-buckaroo @steadydragongalaxy @rooting4theantihero @soupinasock @Ilovehotdadsandshit @dzaga890 @marantha @emmasauger @marysucks-blog @pcotato @scrappybear89 @dlwrish @what-ever-man213 @boiohboii @drowning-in-paragraphs @stoneredsworld @xmurph7 @sleepylunarwolf @glossy01 @aot-task141-lover @uwiuwi

[her-acts-of-cruelty]

HIII i love eddie so much i have this scenario bouncing around my poor little brain about like him sitting out in the rain because he doesn’t want to be in the house and the reader who’s the neighbor that moved in after eddie went to jail and they like invite him inside and give him some soup and tea :-) give that man a nice cozy time. he deserves it

HI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I HAVE BEEN A BUSY LITTLE BOY!

I really liked the idea, I've done a little spin on how I thought Eddie deserved at least one friend who tried to help him. Am I exploring the concept of him being gay and leaving his wife for me? That's for me to know. I'm hoping this reaches the right audience, because I love men and men should love me too.

Also if you have more ideas you should send them. For chatacter ai bots or fics.

Synopsis: bringing an old friend in for a cuppa after seeing him get caught in the rain. Pre established friendship and !???

Cw: some language, mention of beer, but overall its tame

-------------------

You'd never really had a significant reputation in Chadder. You drifted outside the community, maybe it was your age, but you never really felt close with the village.

Aside from Eddie that is.

You used to work next door to his garage, in the little shop. Passing each other each frosty morning turned into combining your routes. Your radiating presence most certainly a stark contrast from the long and dull day he had alone. So walking to work with each other soon turned into going for a pint together to celebrate the day.

You'd exchange stories, little artifacts from each others day. Sometimes there'd be gossip, things You'd over heard in the shop with the things his loose lipped customers would mumble as he worked on their cars. Other times he'd tell you about his kids, what they'd been up to at school and how proud he was of his growing girls. You two made it work.

That was, until he disappeared.

His incarceration was much to your surprise and it seemed you were the only one who had your doubts. You chalked that up to why the residents went a little quiet when you walked by.

Things became a lot slower without Eddie. Your routine had suddenly been lost, your source of the news gone- it seemed as though you were well and truly alone.

By whatever sick twist of luck though, five years had passed and Eddie was out.

Your stomach churned when you first lay eyes on him, your body unsure of how to react- so you did the one logical thing. You stayed away from him.

You avoided him like the plague, worried about all the stewing feelings that had blossomed in his absence. It ate up at you quickly though, the way his face dropped when you turned around and marched off made you wish you could choke up your insides and never dream again.

It went on like this for a couple weeks. Now that spring was approaching, the rainy season was in full swing. You hid in your house most of the time anyway, but hearing the sudden large rain drops on the windows made your expression drop. You bolted outside to grab your drying washing off the line that'd been put up in your front garden. As you cursed yourself, something out the corner of your eye stuck out.

Eddie.

Alone.

You bit your lip and brought your things inside, tossing them carelessly into a basket by the washing machine. The rain wasn't slowing down, its aggressive downpour had you praying Eddie had left that spot and rushed home.

When you checked out the window though, he was still slumped against one of the black metal fences- trying his best to smoke a drooping cigarette.

Your stomach did another backflip as you decided what to do. You couldn't just leave him there to freeze, could you? You got a few more curses out of your system before kicking off some shoes and marching into the rain.

"Eddie?"  You called out as you approached him, the look of panic across his face told you all you needed to hear.

"(Name)- I didn't know you uh- it's raining why are you out 'ere?" He scrambled up off the floor, feeling sorry for himself as he came to his full height.

"Could ask you the same, what's going on? Shouldn't you be with the wife?"

He winced, "ah- its just a bit right now"

You nodded, watching him slowly get more soaked, "you should come back for a cuppa yknow, you're gonna catch your death out here like that"

He wanted to fight you, wanted you to know he belonged to be out here, fighting for warmth like the animal he is.

But also he wanted a warm cup of tea.

So he picked himself off the ground and looked down at you, expecting you to lead. You sigh once more and gesture for him to follow you back inside your house.

He kicks his boots off at the door and let  his eyes wander the walls. It's almost like he'd left his troubles outside, the way a childlike wonder filled him. You hadn't changed much since he'd left, and he liked that.

You'd already made it to the kitchen, working on tea, "Eddie? I might have a few things of yours in my wardrobe soon if you want something a hit warmer to slip into?" His gaze left the walls and met yours, nodding softly, "Yeah that'd uhm-" "Where they usually are, help yourself," You gestured for him for him head upstairs.

A light must have turned on, maybe this was the first sense of familiarity he'd been allowed to chase

. Gentle footsteps made their way down the floor and the hulking man now standing before you in some grey joggers and tee.

"Thank you- you don't know how much it-" "I heard about what happened, I didn't know how to approach it," you blurted, your body clearly wanting to rid the words from  it's festering wound.

He furrowed his brows a little, "is that why you've you've avoiding me like everyone else?"

"It's not like everyone else, you know it never has been-"

"Then what is it?"

"Eddie your tea is going cold-" you tried to shrug him off.

That wasn't the answer he was looking for, you saw it in the way his expression slowly sunk, "do you think I'm a monster too?"

"No! It's just- fucking hell Eddie, I just haven't been well without you." He slowly sat down onnthe couch at that.

Silence choked the room as you took the note to sit beside him. He pulled you close, fingertips caressing your side as he grabbed you. His head rested on yours and for a moment you felt... at peace? You're not sure what it was, but you sighed and got closer.

"You know I didn't uhm-" he tried to break the silence, an attempt to reassure you.

"Yeah I do, tried to get you proven innocent."

He didn't seem to surprised by the notion, "thank you."

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Five (Part 3)

It’s so nice to sit there as the sun goes down and the bonfire roars beside us. Kasper finishes cooking our food, and everyone grabs what they can from the plate he serves. I squirt a ton of mustard onto a burger and tuck in hungrily. I think about how it is the perfect day. I’m sitting with my closest friends on a beautiful beach watching a beautiful sunset, and I have a boy! I finally have a boy that I like and who likes me back, and we’re here together and it actually doesn’t feel weird. I turn to admire him and see that he has a blob of ketchup on his face, and I wipe it off for him. 

“You two are so cute.” Kelly says. “Two little love birds.” She sounds somehow more drunk than before, but I hope that after she eats something she might sober up a bit. “I knew you’d be right for each other. When I was thinking of finding a boy for Evie to kiss this summer I thought, wow, wouldn’t little Liam be perfect for her.”

Liam laughs awkwardly. “Little Liam?”

“No no, seriously, take it as a compliment, she doesn’t let any boys near her. I always feel like I have to force her.” I feel my face get warm, and I glance around at everyone and to my horror realise that they’re all listening to our conversation.

“That’s not really true…” I say defensively.

“Oh my god! It is! But it’s fine, we accept you for it. Evie’s such a good girl, and most boys are too ugly and boring for her, I’d be flattered if I was Liam. I really would.” She is laughing and smiling through it all like it’s a joke, but I know that she means what she’s saying. She really does think I’m stuck up and prudish. I resent her for it. I thought best friends were supposed to understand each other. 

“Haha, okay.” He says, glancing at me, and I wonder if he’s thinking those things about me too, about how wooden I was on our walk last night, and how it took us so long to kiss. I bet he thought I was bad at it too, I just have a feeling that I’m never doing it right.

Kelly barrels on. “She’s going for it this time. We’re proud of her, no really, we are. She got there in the end. Better late than never, I always say.”

Claire stands up and grabs Kelly’s hand. “Hey, will you come to the bathroom with me?” Kelly looks up at her surprised, and then is pulled up – no, hauled up out of her chair by our friend. She is quickly ushered away from me and into the house, and there is a long pause when she’s gone. My heart is thumping in my chest so loudly that I’m sure everyone can hear it. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I stare down at my feet, humiliated. Now everyone, even this cool, older crowd that I just met knows I’m a loser. And a virgin, but I guess those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. 

I feel a cool, steady hand on my shoulder then, and I look up and see that Jen has come over to be next to me. “Hey, do you want to take a little walk with me?” I don’t think I can speak without risking bursting into tears, and I know that if I stay where I am I will have some sort of panic attack or something, so I nod. She takes my hand and we walk up into the dunes away from everyone’s eyes. 

“I didn’t want to say anything bad in front of her brother,” She says once we’re out of earshot “But Kelly sounds really insecure to me. I know she’s obviously pissed drunk, but she said all of that stuff in front of everybody on purpose.”

I start crying as soon as I try to talk, but I wobble through it. “I’m so embarrassed. Not everybody needed to know all about me and my business.”

She gives me a hug, and I sink my head into her shoulder as we sit down onto the sand. I’m getting tears all over her top but she doesn’t seem to care. “Aw, chicken, the things she said, they weren’t about you. They were about her. She’s just jealous of you, it’s so obvious.”

“She’s not jealous of me.”

“Are you serious? Of course she is. Nobody would try to embarrass their friend in front of a crowd of strangers unless they were jealous.”

“Kelly has nothing to be jealous of.” I wipe my nose on my sleeve. “She’s got so much more than me. She’s funnier and more confident, prettier, more experienced… She’s got it all. Everyone loves her.”

“Well I think that if she believed that herself she wouldn’t be lashing out at you. If that girl was truly happy in herself then she would have been kinder to you in that moment. She knew that everyone could hear her and she said it anyway.” She wipes my tear stained face with both her thumbs. “Look at you, girl, you’re stunning. Anybody would be jealous of you, and you know what I think? Those things she said about boys… I think you’re right to be picky. Most of them are rats.”

I laugh through my sobs. There’s something so soft and comforting about her, she’s motherly. I feel like I can be vulnerable. “I get scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Scared of falling behind everybody.”

“What everyone else is doing and when they’re doing it is their business.”

“I know but… I feel like there’s things I should know by the time I’m seventeen. Like I’m scared that I’m bad at kissing because I haven’t had enough kisses, and then when it comes to… other stuff, I’ll be expected to know what to do, but I won’t, because I keep running scared from all romantic possibilities. It’s a cycle that keeps getting worse.”

“Evie, I promise that nobody cares about that, and if they do they’re a dickhead. The right person will treat you like a human being and be understanding of where you’re at. There’s no age limit on any of this, you do you.”

I sniff. I wonder how Jen is so wise about all of this stuff, and she’s only a year older than I am. She must know everything about love. I ask her: “Have you found the right guy yet?”

She cackles then, shattering the serious tone. “God, no. I don’t like men. I’m gay.”

“Oh!” I laugh. “Oh okay!”

“I kissed enough boys in the teenage discos of my youth to be sure that they’re not for me.” She says. “It’s brutal out there, don’t ever settle for less than what’s right for you. That’s my advice”

“Thank you.” I say, and I tear up again. “Oh, sorry, I don’t know why I keep crying.”

“It’s alright. Cry it out girl. I’ll sit with you until you’re ready to go back to the party.” And she does. And we sit in the sand and talk until all my tears have dried up and I’m ready to face the world again.

Prev // Next

[vodika-vibes]

some Jaster x Reader with a passionate kiss after one almost died please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I‘m starving for more of this man 🫠

I'm Still Here

Summary: After a series of assassination attempts against you, Jaster welcomes you home.

Pairing: Jaster Mereel x Reader

Word Count: 1238

Warnings: Mentions of child slavery, mentions of assassination attempts

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I actually love this AU that I'm slowly crafting, and baby Jango is the most adorable baby. And this is technically a sort of sequel to the most recent Jaster fic I posted. Well, it is in my head, at least, lol.

Jaster’s going to be furious. You know this. Your astromech knows this. The medical droid charging in the cargo hold knows this. In your defense, the mission was supposed to be a lot simpler than it turned out.

Your job was to protect a business man from his competitor. You’ve done it a million times. Normally all you have to do is stand there and look intimidating, and you get a nice little paycheck at the end. 

Normally, the mention of having a Mandalorian bounty hunter is enough to keep things peaceful.

That’s not what happened this time.

Turns out the competitor was actually a slaver who had kidnapped the client’s daughter and sold her into slavery to try and force him to sign a legal document. A fact that you only found out five minutes before walking into the meeting with said competitor. 

Which meant that your simple mission turned into a much longer, much harder fiasco. The client had been near tears, distraught over his missing child, distraught over the contract he had to sign to save her, and just distraught overall.

Luckily, you’re pretty good at thinking on your feet. A simple aerosol drug left the client in an altered enough state that he wasn’t allowed to sign the contract, and a simple explanation on your part that he caught a fever from a planet he visited recently, was enough to buy you two weeks to rescue the kid.

Which you did! It took you ten days, total, and at the same time you managed to completely dismantle the slave ring. It wasn’t your intention, but, well, it was the easiest way to ensure that the little girl made it to safety and back to her parents.

And though it’s annoying, it’s not the first time a mission became more difficult halfway through. It happens, people lie. Though you got the feeling that the client didn’t lie so much as completely panic.

No. The problem came later, after you had been paid. The client and his family had been thrilled, giving you a 150% bonus, which would go towards a very nice nameday present for Jango, and probably Jaster too, and they insisted on you spending the night while they celebrated the return of their child.

And when you finally returned to your ship, which was a wedding present from Jaster, it proceeded to blow up on you. If you had left when you were supposed to, the night before, you would have been in the middle of hyperspace, and killed instantly.

As it happens, aside from several very painful bruises covering your entire body, the explosion did nothing more than give you a bad start to the day. And then the Death Watch assassin showed up. Because your day couldn’t possibly get any worse at that point.

Luckily the Port security team was on point, and they immediately came to your aid, and the assassin was put down with extreme prejudice (they were not happy about the destruction of one of their docks), and you were given the option to go to the hospital.

You refused them, and just asked to borrow a ship so you can return home.

“Borrow” of course, turned into “Here, have this ship, we certainly don’t need it! Also it comes with a medical droid and an astromech!”

And of course you couldn’t say no. 

So here you are. On a ship that’s probably more expensive than every single ship that belongs to the Haat, covered in bruises, and wondering just how annoyed Jaster is going to be.

Of course he’s going to know what happened. Your former client said that he would “message the Mand’alor to reassure him that you’re alright” and really, you were kind of hoping that Jaster just wouldn’t find out about this.

Oh well. Nothing you can do about it now.

You grimace in pain as you lean forward to start your descent onto Mandalore, following the instructions to your personal landing pad. Your new ship is about the same size as your old one, so you’re not all that worried about it fitting. 

You set the ship down, and power it down. And then you lower the ramp and watch as the pair of droids leave the ship, following your instructions as to making themselves at home in your home. 

And then you limp down the ramp, and Jaster is there, waiting for you.

He looks deeply worried, with dark circles under his eyes and his hair is sticking up in every direction, indicating to you that he’s been running his hands through his hair. 

“Jaster, I’m home.”

His gaze snaps to your face, and he crosses over to you in several large steps. “Cyare,” he reaches out and lightly cups your cheek, “Blown up? Nearly assassinated?”

You lean into his touch, “I was lucky.”

“Lucky!?”

“I wasn’t in hyperspace when my ship blew up.” You clarify, “Which is where I was supposed to be.”

Jaster goes gray at the thought, “Don’t say that,” He says hoarsely, “I can’t even think about that.”

You reach up and gently cup his face with both of your hands, “I’m okay, riduur. A bit bruised, but nothing serious.”

Jaster releases a slow breath, “You’re sure?”

“Very sure.”

He closes his eyes and leans into your touch, and he just breathes for a moment, “When I heard the news that your ship had been blown up, and someone tried to assassinate you…I feared the worst. I was sure that something was going to happen before you got home-”

“Shh, you’re borrowing trouble, love.” You whisper.

He opens his eyes, “Do you have any idea how much it would kill me to lose you?” Jaster asks.

You smooth your thumbs over his cheeks, “If it’s anything close to how I would feel if I lost you, then I have a pretty good idea.”

He’s quiet for a moment, “I love you so much,” Jaster whispers after a moment. And then his lips are against yours as he pulls you into a deep, passionate kiss.

And then there’s a disgusted noise, and he breaks the kiss as he presses his forehead against yours, “I thought you were supposed to be in lessons, Jango.” Jaster asks.

“I was! But I got bored and I saw that buir is home!” You peek to the side and see Jango has his hands over his eyes, “Are you done being gross?”

You grin at Jaster, and press a quick kiss to his lips, “I love you too,” You whisper to him. 

He lightly traces a circle against the side of your neck, “We’ll pick this up later tonight.” Jaster promises in a low voice, and then he raises his voice, “Yes, ad, we’re done being gross.”

“Ugh, finally!” Jango runs over to you and takes one of your hands, “Jas’buir said that you were blown up! Are you okay?”

You grin at your ad, and you smooth a hand through his curly hair, “You didn’t think something as silly as a little bomb could hurt me, did you?”

And a delighted grin crosses his face, “Of course not! I told Jas’buir that you’re too strong to get hurt like that! I made you something, come see it!”

“Okay, okay. I’m coming.” You flash a small smile at Jaster, and he shakes his head with a laugh as he trails after you and Jango.

[yourtouchismidas]

I’m seriously missing all the ruins chat!!! Idk if you were still writing little bit for it but if so then I had a thought. Imagine matty having to deal with Gigi when she gets her period, maybe for the first time or just in general. I feel like he’d panic but he’d try so hard to help her out🫠

awww me too ruins was such an era!!

i think when she gets her first period, maybe ruins girl is away, and gigi locks herself in the bathroom. matty knocks on the door like, "baby what's wrong?" and she wont tell him but he wont let it go, he keeps knocking, and then eventually she yells to him, "i got my period okay dad, leave me alone."

matty is silent for a second. as he takes this in. it's his baby and she is growing up. he is so happy and yet so sad at the same time.

"i think mum has tampons in the cupboard" he yells through the door, unsure what else to say.

"i'm thirteen years old, matthew," gigi says, "i'm not putting anything... inside me."

matty laughs. puts his hands over his mouth to muffle it so he doesnt upset her.

"that's fair enough, baba," he says, "what do you need?"

"pads. please. not fucking huge scary ones."

"language!" matty says.

"oh fuck off, matty, i'm bleeding!!! i should be allowed to swear."

he muffles a laugh again. "fair enough." he says again.

"get me nice ones please. i'm fragile," gigi says.

"nice.... pads?" matty asks, confused. he should have read more about teenage girls. paid attention more in sex ed instead of sling-shotting condoms at hann's face.

"you know," gigi says, her voice breaking a bit, "the ones that smell like flowers or something."

she starts crying half way through the sentence and matty knocks gently.

"baby, what you crying for?" he says softly.

"i dont know!" she sobs, but she is also laughing. he laughs too. until they are both in peels of laughter. gigi still sobbing too.

"are you in pain?"

"no," gigi says, "but i'm worried i might be later. i've heard cramps can be awful."

"well we will take it easy today, okay? watch movies?"

"can you just hurry up and get my pads please. i'm stuck on the fucking loo."

matty laughs again. "course baby sit tight."

he runs to tesco. he gets a basket and puts in ibuprofen and paracetamol and then some actual period pain relief with a picture of a women with what looks like a burning uterus on the front. he buys a microwave hot water bottle that smells like lavender. dropping one his basket for gigi then going back and getting another one. you know. for his own comfort. for his own self care day. he gets a bunch of chocolate and sweets and crisps. then he goes to the pads. he stares at them. there is loads. she asked for nice ones. ones that smell like flowers? what the fuck? he thinks. do those even exist. he rings you but you don't pick up. busy at work. he thinks about ringing again but he doesnt want to bother you. he wants to do this on his own too. he's a dad. it's his responsibility. he tries to google it but the ones that come up aren't on the shelves.

"are you alright?" a woman says next to him. she's around his age. it looks like. she's wearing a big coat even though its warm out.

"my daughter wants pads that smell like flowers," he tells her helplessly.

the woman laughs. she reaches up to the shelf and grabs some.

"how old is she?" she asks.

"thirteen," he says.

the woman reaches up and grabs a few more boxes.

"get her these too. and these," she says, "for options."

"thank you!" he says. he wants to reach out and hug her.

he takes them all back to gigi, who emerges from the toilet five minutes later with a frown on her face so deep it makes matty laugh again.

"dad!" she whines.

"sorry," he says, "i love how much you are growing up. i love who you are now. and who you were and who you will be."

she rolls her eyes. "shut up," she says. but she hugs him and asks to watch movies.

"of course baby, whatever you want."

[excessive-vampires]

Dealing With Demons Chapter 1: Good Girls Don't Summon Demons Part 1: Cee

So I decided to serialize my novel!

Masterlist with CW

I couldn't move. Nothing happened as I tried to close my eyes, to move my arm over to the bedside table and turn off the blaring alarm. Panic overwhelmed me for just a second, like every morning, but then I reminded myself of my situation. The panic withdrew, leaving behind only annoyance in its wake.

Avi shut off the alarm, sat up, and stretched. This elicited an internal groan from me.

Stupid demon.

A laugh erupted from my, no, Avi's throat. It had been theirs for five years. Wow, it had been half a decade now since the night I got possessed.

I just wanted to go back to sleep. Why did I have to get dragged along to a murder instead of spending my morning relaxing in a nice warm soft bed?

That train of thought got derailed as the demon turned on the light.

Avi! The sudden brightness burned their regrettably open eyes as they adjusted. Immediately I missed the darkness. Avi ignored my protest and got up to start their day.

I thought very hard about pouting, but I could feel that the demon wore an amused grin.

"You know I have business to take care of," they said around a toothbrush.

Whatever. Why do you have to "take care of business" so early?

"There is a time limit here, if I wait too long it'll be a lot more difficult to kill him, and he'll keep drawing attention to himself and, by extension, me."

I know. But I don't have to be happy about it.

"I'll stop by that bakery you like for breakfast," Avi offered in an enticing tone. To further their attempt at a bribe an image of biting into a fresh blueberry muffin appeared in my thoughts. I could almost taste it already, the soft texture, the sharp juiciness of the blueberries, the heavenly sweetness.

I accept your appeasement.

A smirk pulled at their lips as they plucked the gold button-up shirt that matched their hair and eye color from the closet after a moment of deliberation. None of my clothes were in that closet. What little I had was all tucked away in the bottom of dresser drawers, they only wore them when no one was going to see them that day. Style was more of a priority to Avi than comfort. Still, this shirt was one of the demon's most formal.

Fancy clothes day then. You'd look more intimidating if my tattoos were visible.

"I want to look professional and organized, that means sleeves."

Fair enough. You'll have to be careful not to get blood on them though.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Soon they were wearing a perfectly tailored suit. The fabric was stiff and uncomfortable, I pictured frowning in my mind but otherwise endured the annoyance. It did look pretty great on them. Then they slicked back their short hair, which I hated. It only looked good when it was fluffy. But I wasn't going to argue about something that small. In my situation, I had to know how to compromise and pick my battles.

"Ready to go kill someone, Cee?"

I guess. Lead the way, Avi.

[petri808]

14 for twiyor! Imagine this is how they first met would be sweet as heck 😆

“They cover the small amount of change you are short on for a purchase.”

The morning is a blustery one, not yet snowing, though it sure could’ve been considering how cold the air is. Mornings like these make it hard to crawl out of bed, but for Yor Briar, not getting up and going to work meant a day’s loss in wages. All bundled up, she hurries the block over to her favorite cafe to grab a coffee. If she times it right, she’ll get to work with some time to spare before clocking in, and thankfully the line at the cafe is short.  

“So, that’s one caffè hazelnut mocha with an extra shot of espresso and whipped instead of froth on top,” the male barista behind the counter repeats. “That’ll be 5 dollars and 27 cents.”

Yor pulls out her wallet and counts out the dollar bills she prepared the night before. One, two, three, four, five, perfect… until she checks the coin pocket and finds it empty. “Um…” she switches her shoulder purse to the counter and starts digging inside looking for loose change, panic and embarrassment mounting each second that ticks by. ‘Why did I not have enough, I always have enough… oh, right, the extra shot,’ Yor’s brows furrow in exasperation. “I’m so sorry,” she begins, putting her wallet back into her purse. “It seems I’m—”

“Excuse me, ma’am?”  

There’s a tap on Yor’s shoulder and a man’s voice asking for attention. She turns partially to see who this person is, no doubt the customer waiting behind. Maybe he’s getting annoyed? The man is a foot taller than her so she must look up to see his face, and a handsome one at that. He doesn’t look annoyed, with his piercing blue eyes crinkled in a friendly smile. “Oh, I’m sorry mister that I’m taking too long.” 

“Not at all,” the man reaches for and takes Yor’s hand, placing twenty-seven cents onto her palm. “It’s cold out today, so it would be unchivalrous not to offer a pretty lady assistance with her coffee.”

Heat swells along Yor’s cheeks no doubt taking on a strawberry sheen. “T-Thank you, so much!” She quickly hands it to the barista along with the five-dollar bills so they can move the ordering line along. 

After giving the barista her name, she steps aside to allow the nice gentleman his turn to order, and as he does so, Yor can’t help but give the man another once-over. So, tall, blue eyes, blonde hair trimmed neatly, and wearing a business suit. What kind of business could this man be in? He kind of looks like a lawyer or maybe just an office worker? Nah, a business suit is a bit much for an office worker. CEO maybe? Yor thinks she’s seen him here before, but since mornings are a rush of get in and out, she’s never stopped to get a good look. 

As soon as he finishes paying for his order and steps away, Yor makes a move to speak to the man again. “Sir?” She taps on his back shoulder to gain his attention. He stops and turns around to face her. “Sir, I just wanted to say thank you again.”

He raises a hand in a friendly gesture. “Really, it’s fine—”

“No,” she cuts him off, “but, please,” Yor takes his hand and begs, “let me return the money to you later. It’s only right.”

“Ma’am.” He places his other hand over hers to stop her. “It’s just twenty-seven cents. There’s no need—”

Again, Yor cuts him off insistently. “It’s not about the amount, it’s only right to return a nice gesture.”

“Okay, okay,” The man chuckles. “If you feel that strongly, how about meeting me here for lunch tomorrow?” 

Eh? Yor freezes from the surprising turn around. This handsome man is asking her out to lunch and as her mind processes his request, the heat is returning to her skin and her eyes are wide. Growing up, people have told her how pretty she is, but when it comes to this love stuff, she’s completely inexperienced because she’s always shied away from it. What do people do on lunch dates? Does it count as a real date? If it is a real date, she has no idea how to act! “I-I…” Yor is so nervous, she doesn’t know how to respond.

But luckily, the man takes the hint and leads. He squeezes her hand he still holds. “My name is Loid Forger, a detective with the Berlint PD, and you are?” He gently coaxes in a soothing voice.

“Y-Yor… Yor Briar. I work at city hall in the records department.”

Loid smiles. “It’s nice to meet you Ms. Briar.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Yor smiles back.

“Ms. Briar, would you be so kind and meet me here for lunch tomorrow?” Loid’s blue gaze piercing Yor’s bewildered ruby stare. “I’d love to see you again.”

Oh My! Her cheeks are cherry red and it’s not from any windchill. “J-Just lunch?” She nervously mimics the short-circuiting in her head. “If it’s just lunch, that should be fine.”

“Then here’s to tomorrow.” Loid lifts her hand to his lips and places a lingering kiss to its back with a smile. “Noon?”

“Noon…” Yor unconsciously nods in stary-eyed haze. 

“I’ll see you then,” he smiles, tips his head, and takes his leave, grabbing his coffee before heading back into the winter air.

Yor watches the man walk out the door, too awestruck to move. What… just… happened? 

“Ma’am? Excuse me, ma’am? Your coffee.”

Coffee? Oh, right! Yor turns to the barista. “S-Sorry!” She grabs her cup and hurries out the door. 

So much for getting to work early, but oh well. Yor cups her hands around the warm cup and holds it to her chest, cheeks still a rosy warm and eyes shining in a giddy light. She takes a sip, and the instant zing of the espresso hits. She grins to herself. Who knew a simple change in her routine would be so welcomed…

[silverspleen]

I am so thankful that you do! All of my friends are so tolerant of this. I like it too! I just leave people gifts. You don't have to talk to me about it. I know you're busy. I am one of those people who doesn't need to maintain a friendship. Unless we had a nasty breakup we're friends forever. Whether we talking yesterday or three months ago!

This person has some mad social anxiety, so like, I get it, I must fucking suck to be friends with. But I literally prefaced the beginning of this new friendship with "if you expect [me constantly being available by text or phone] in this friendship you are going to find friendship with me disappointing and stressful because I have a hard boundary on communication/availability rules. You can be friends with me. I welcome it! But this is a hard rule I have and you have to understand that."

And like. I'm even stricter when it come to people who have said issues because I have to be crystal clear about what I can handle, mentally. I am telling you. Right now. That you will sometimes receive texts from me two to three business days after you sent it to me and sometimes you will never receive messages back, and I have literally no plans to change this about myself and you can take that or leave it, but if you take it you have to be aware I am not changing it for you. You cannot friendship me into changing my Most Important Hard Boundary. I will try and shift some stuff around to be more helpful and make you comfortable but you have to deal with it because if you text me every day expecting me to text you back within fifteen minutes I will become Overtaxed and we WILL have issues. If you get sassy and mad at me because I didn't reply to something random you texted me that is a you problem because I told you it would be like this.

My friends who already don't message me when I message them back already get it. I can text my D&D buddy and he replies three days later. We are cool. He can call me on the phone and I can refuse to pick up and he doesn't have a panic attack. He can call me, I can pick up, tell him to fuck off, and he will leave me alone, no hard feelings. If he is in a bad place mentally he will text me like "hey, I'm having a rough time right now. Are you cool to hang out?" He will understand if I'm not but he's totally clear when he needs more attention. We have a very good communication agreement.

People get tricked into thinking that I want to talk to everyone all the time since I pull that social powerhouse extrovert shit when I'm in public surrounded by people and at my high socialization job and stuff, but if you don't let me retreat into the void and put down my phone for five hours and go dark and not talk to anyone while I'm watching youtube videos and making my stupid art I will fucking explode. Being peppy and nice takes EFFORT and I need to recharge the battery!

Anyway. I do feel bad they're very nice and as stated I kind of came down really hard but firm but like. I am old. I know myself enough to know that this is one of my things. I told you like. Day 1.