#and family connections are clearing up
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thank god someone set up a little website with all the family trees for erdrich's justice trilogy, because its making keeping track of these characters families and bloodlines very easy
#the three books cover three small towns around a reservation and the generations of families that intersect#and are connected through horrible crimes (lynching. murder. rape) and wonders of life (babies. marriages. familial love and strength#the good parts of religion)#but also a lot of the bad parts of religion. because these characters are all native american and descended#from people forced to convert#the reason im confused is because i started the series with the middle book which i read for uni last august#so in the current one certain things are making sense that didnt in the next book#and family connections are clearing up#god erdrich is good at creating a complicated intertwining narrative though all of these characters are interesting and complex i love it#and the way it scapes many years from the late late 1800s to the 1980#its fantastic#i wanna visit minnesota just to go to her independent bookstore birchbark books. it looks gorgeous and the books they sell there#fiction + non-fiction#look fantastic. incredibly helpful as well
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im having an absolute unadulterated blast with the Ethersea prologue for many many reasons, it's beautiful and exceeds all my expectations.. but also. there's many moments here that genuinely make me go "oh god damn, these people are Americans." the Quiet Year system is a profoundly fascinating and revealing game - nothing tells you quite as much about how somebody sees the world than asking them to imagine a new one.
#customizable 'single family housing' the immediate adoption of a liberal economic system hierarchical gvt structures... and fish#especially when the whole set up is such a clear metaphor for climate change as the consequence of industrialization!#'single family housing' just rocked me so hard. that in the middle of an apocalypse we'd use resources towards that kind of individualism#and then they *do* kind of brush against that! with the idea of Community going down because of the inability to connect with neighbours!#the adventure zone#taz ethersea#mine#edit also not to understate that i do find the critique and allegory that is present to be really nice and genuinely exciting#the ending of prologue v goes SO HARD i was out of breath from the excited stimming#and i think my difficulty reading tone made me miss that the 'entrepeneur' thing was a joke? like theres still some#interesting biases at work here but maybe there's more insight than i gave it credit for. im curious about how ol' joshie's bs will develop#autistic anarchocommie netwon moments#also i wish theyd be less anxious about the brinear as a DID allegory i think it could be so interestinggg#we'll see. im really loving this show so far. taz has such a very special direct connection to my heart#i really like what theyre doing with this stuff even if sometimes i wish theyd do a lot more#the ending monologue of prologue v basically encapsulates most of the things about this that i find exciting and cool#i hope the transition to dnd will still allow them to bloom
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*crawls onto dash like an axolotl*
i- i am alone. back home. writing time.
#I got halfway through Authority and it's honestly pretty baller. I think the protagonist will connect less with most people but#It still has that juicy juicy deranged Annihilation flavor. Oh your family was fucked up and that's why you can understand The Horrors#I want to carry the author over the threshold bridal style or something.#Also I got halfway through 'Foundations' which was written by a physicist noble prize winner with grossly inflated sense of ego who#was trying to make a religion out of Abductive Reasoning while barely knowing how Abductive Reasoning works. All his social takes#were fascinatingly bad (not wrong to be clear; just bad examples no solid logic) and he also clearly gave the halflife of C14#and proceeded to say that we used it for figuring out Neanderthals were in Europe a few hundred thousand years ago.#I swear to god physicists should have emotional support geologists they can consult on the phone whenever they're feeling#a bit spicy about psychology and philosophy and it would save the world half a dozen bad takes.#His physics and 'layman' outline of how the physical world works though was really good. I quite liked that though. I would've#finished the book except it's my brother's and it's not good enough I would steal it. Except that fucker bought#THE ALTERATION OF ECONOMIC GEOLOGY and for HIMSELF not ME and that I might yoink lol.#Anyway COOL I AM BACK IN MY OWN BED I CAN RESPOND TO SOME EMAILS AND TRY TO AIM FOR CHAPT 34#I hope everyone had a really good Christmas! <3#ptxt
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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ranked choice voting but it's Subway:
#this is my favorite subway bc instead of me spending my drive time thinking ''what sandwich do i want today?''#i just drive and sing along to my driving tunes and then i get to subway and the sandwich i order is chosen for me :)#not pictured: the handwritten sign on the soda machine kindly informing me that there's no ice. there's no Hi-C. there's no water.#so i got some warm flat diet coke and a turkey sandwich minus a few veggies :)#(this specific subway is situated in the STUPIDEST shopping plaza in town-- there is ONE driveway to get in/out and it's so close to the#very large traffic intersection that you can spend up to 5 light cycles before traffic clears enough that you can get out. ALSO!#the driveway that goes around the back of the buildings is a really sharp right turn from the only exit/entrance so semi trucks like#Sysco food delivery-- and even the garbage truck-- have a really difficult time of 1. getting IN the parking lot and then 2. making#a really sharp right turn almost immediately after entering the plaza and then 3. if they want to get out... they have to BACK UP THE#ENTIRE WAY. that stupid driveway around the back of the plaza? it doesn't connect back to the parking lot and there's no turn-around space#so Sysco sometimes... just doesn't even bother delivering. if the truck can't get into the parking lot after X minutes then they just#drive on to their next place for delivery. and the other restaurants in the plaza are very local/family-owned places so some of their#supplies are purchased at the restaurant depot store by the owner who just gets it in their personal vehicles
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Ok I promise this is the last time I'm gonna vaguely talk about my de sade post wip before I just actually finish the thing, but I am actually so excited about the new chapter bringing up specifically that the whole family has a reputation for being bad tempered hedonists.
I've been struggling for a while to organize my thoughts on vnc's de sade references into a coherent post (and I have so many thoughts I want to share), and I feel like this is exactly the boost/touch point I needed to get the thing done.
#to be clear I'm talking about writing a post on the meaning of all the references to de sade the real guy#not limited to talking about the in-universe family#but the two topics are obviously extremely connected#and I know exactly what I want to say in that post#but I've been struggling a lot to write it bc there's SO much I have to say on the topic#it's hard to get things coherent and organized and not ten thousand words long#but this is a really good link :3#about andie#if anyone's curious this gets brought up in the hand holding panel#vnc spoilers
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All the Eds have issues in their home lives, but there is something about Edd’s family situation that I just find endlessly fascinating. Just really delving into the complicated baggage surrounding it, and how uniquely fucked up it is.
The fact that there is so much distance and lack of communication between Edd and his parents really brings up a lot of questions about WHAT their actual interactions are even like. I mean, while they are largely absent (even for a show whose whole premise does not include parents being visible), it is implied that they, or at least one of them comes home. Do they even talk to their son when they are there?
I think the thing that really gets me is that, while yes they do supply for their son’s physical needs: a comfortable home, food, etc. the emotional needs are completely neglected. Which speaks to a super specific, entitled suburban kind of disinterest that I find uniquely cruel.
#there are lots of different interpretations of edd's parents but in the context of the show this is kind of how I see them#like I don't personally see it as a form of regret or punishment#but I do think of edd's parents as being image focused I don't think they really wanted a kid at all#but didn't want the negative perception of not upholding a traditional familial structure#if we want to use fancy terms for this#and it is super clear that edd suffers because of this I mean him being a neurotic mess kind of speaks for itself#rather than acting out bad behavior for attention he tries to find ways to get their attention by impressing them#especially since they are implied to have high standards#I don't think they are much good at all with kids like they probably set strict rules#the kind of parents to not let their kid talk unless spoken to#I could see them attempt to have some kind of connection with dee when he is an adult which obviously does not go over well for him#like um you missed out on that opportunity years ago#ANYWAY that was long wow#guess which character is my favorite challenge#typical 2am shenanigans ig idk any excuse to talk about this kid's fucked up home life#eene#analysis#squack
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saw an absolutely beautiful ribbon skirt and now im hashtag sad again
#screaming crying etc#that could have been me!!#if my mother's family hadnt been so fucking awful and traumatized her to the point of separating herself from them entirely!#if she hadnt had racism and self loathing drilled into her!#my maternal grandmother was cree and ill never get to learn her history#i fucking hate that i never even got the choice#i never got to choose for myself if i wanted to keep the connection to my roots#i couldve learned to do beadwork before my hands got fucked#i couldve learned so fucking much#i couldve had community#and i dont blame her for running to be clear#she did what she had to to survive and it was the best choice she couldve made in those circumstances#but. fuck dude#i have no real hope of reconnecting at this point. i know i would look like a white bitch pretendian if i tried#and i dont want to take up space that isnt mine to take
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saw a post a while ago talking abt the for fun idea of samarie being related to caligura in some way (post was specifically abt her being his niece i think ?) and i didnt rlly think abt it much then but now its haunting me. could you imagine
#one samarie would have connections to the mob which is rlly funny but the REAL thing is the implications of her family situation then#rn im operating off the idea that she was an orphan that got handpicked by the ninth circle to sit in a dark room and wither away for her--#--entire short life but the idea that she has a family who GAVE her to that (and even more so if the family is the mob! then theres the--#--whole consolidation of power and its abuse by the religious going on even more in the vatican city) is NAUSEATING. caligura wouldnt--#--recognize her in this hypothetical bc shes been away her whole life + never rlly connected to any of his shit but could u imagine if he--#--did. the fuck is my weird ass niece who is supposed to be locked up channeling magic or whatever doing here ???????#devising the worst nonplayable team up possible. caligura samarie pavel and august. caligura constantly bristling under the other two mens--#--clear authority over the situation pavel and august eyeing each other like wary cats bc they do not know WHY the other is looking for--#--the kaiser and samarie sweating in the background like ummm. um. can we look for marina now. please .
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i wish i could participate in my culture without feeling like a big stupid idiot
#squeaking#half white + no sabo kid + raised away from my place of birth TRIPLE WHAMMY#<- i was born in arizona. to be clear but thats also where all the hispanic side of my family lives#and i grew up away from them#anyways i would like to connect with that side of the family more but i feel so dumb#having to research things from what feels like The Outside when i feel like. i should just Know#my mom raised me to think of myself as latine but never actually exposed me to much except for like listening to spanish music sometimes#at least dad took me to german festivals and tried to teach me some german and stuff#whateverr. ratman is insecure about his heritage again what else is new#mestizo
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oh.
#surprised that the lunter anti s haven't been using 'echoes of the past' as sblings propaganda#the clear cut parallel of luz offering her hand to king when it comes to revisiting the truth about his ancestry#a character she'll later come to call his little brother#like uhhh maybe the fact hunter and luz have no canon sibling bong is confirmation enough that it wasn't the point of it#when there's absolutely nothing set up for luz's connections with titan before WAD chose to take a gigantic shit on the show's themes#esp when hollow mind does the work to connect luz with belos with the whole you and i are very alike villain speech#and of course cannot forget the caleb/evelyn parallels. lunterinas no one will every take that away from you btw#they could've chosen to make evelyn and caleb have a familial bond but nope. caleb impregnated the shit out of her and You Will Know That.#maybe there's some canon evidence that the intention was to follow up on the siblings allegations#but like... then i look back at TTT and how luz calls hunter 'family' in the context of their connection to the hexsquad instead of nocedas#and how TOH commited hard to vee having a familial connection with camila despite how little time they had and it's implied in the-#-timeskip that luz and vee have grown up together as family#(by all means luz/vee shippers go ahead you guys are neat and canon is a mere suggestion)#but yeah like. uhhhhh i'm bery drunk rn can you tell heehee#anyways idk what i was getting here#echoes of the past is still like a 9/10 episode i love it will all my little heart#and maybe the writers had in mind that lunter could develop into a familial bond before they realized the implications of evelyn's existence#and then were like welp. this is awkward now is it. and neither committed to sibling bond or romantic bond#also let it be known that youtube user local has changed my entire outlook on media and you should watch his videos#and he's like a year younger than me. do you want to make out with me white boy. i am free every monday and wednesday#toh#oh wait i have another thought. amiter is a Good ship. way more potential than huntlow#amity has two hands :)#oh nooooooooooo i didn't censor the ship JDHKJFHSKJFHSFHDSKJFHDJKSHFKDSHFJKDSHFJKDSHFJKDSHFJKDSHJKFHDSJKFHDSJKFHDJKSHFJKDSHFJKDSHFJKDSHFJKDH
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if anyone has money to spare for donations, im forwarding more links for palestinian aid
CareforGaza is a nonprofit that provides direct aid to Palestine, and you can donate directly here
Operation Olive Branch is a document that lists evacuating families that need assistance, which gives information on the families, the urgency, and tracks the progress of their fundraisers
eSims for Gaza lists very clear instructions on how to purchase e-sims to keep them connected, they are urgently in demand
Here is a project that distributes feminine hygiene kits directly to Gaza
Mutual Aid Diabetes has channels set up for you to donate insulin and medication to diabetics in Gaza, as well as lists fundraisers for diabetics seeking to evacuate
please keep sharing and adding links on this site, please add more if i'd missed any, and please don't stop talking about Palestine.
#free palestine#palestine#gaza#<tags for boost let me know what boosts further? im seeing these more on twitter than tumblr so im trying to add to the traction here too
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Bisan is calling for another global strike!
I saw some posts just outlining Jan 21st, and wanted to clarify that Bisan has called for a full seven days of action.
What a global strike would look like is:
calling in sick to work
purchasing bare essentials ahead of the week so you can observe the general boycott of goods / buying as little as you genuinely can
putting in a concerted effort to elevate Palestinian voices and make it clear that this strike is in support of a permanent ceasefire!
For those who will have to purchase necessary goods during this time, please observe the brands that the BDS movement is asking us to boycott!
♢♢♢
Right now is also a good time to mention some better uses for your money during this week.
Available e-sims in Gaza are running low!!
Mirna El Helbawi and her team are working round the clock to continue to connect Palestinians as Israel does its best to cut them off from the rest of the world.
You can learn how to purchase and send e-sims here, and below you’ll find a list of what is currently needed (the areas in brackets indicate what region you should select to buy e-sims in).
--
CareforGaza is an organisation that does verifiably good work, distributing supplies directly to Palestinian families.
They have a Gofundme set up at the moment, but because of Gofundme’s poor track record regarding refusing to transfer funds to Palestinians, I’d recommend continuing to donate directly to their PayPal here.
Good luck to all of you. Don't turn away from Palestine!
#i know that for some people their first instinct will be to scoff. how can anyone just not buy things for a full week?#what about groceries? rent?#and personally. i wanna say yes. there are some things that we have to spend money on to survive.#but it is possible still to make a concerted effort in your life#to carve out seven days where you can minimise that amount of money#i know its a lot.#for some people who are living on a tight budget. i know its not possible and i dont fault you for that#but i know for a fact that so many of us would be able to take out a few daily purchases in observance of this strike#do your best#dont turn away from palestine#free palestine#palestine#from the river to the sea#call to action
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AO3 Etiquette -UPDATED
Based on both decent and not so decent replies, I have made some changes to my original post below.
It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:
As well as likes, kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished it, you liked it - so kudos.
If you really liked it, you should try to comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.
No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it (so use your notes to say if you want some constructive feedback). Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. No, posting it online is not an open invitation for that. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity and just want to share. Don't ruin that for them. I've seen so many authors just stop writing coz they can't handle the negative emotions the critism brings, and it's only meant to be a fun thing shared for free (pointing out tagging errors is not included in this).
Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.
There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.
For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.
The tag exception is if you don't want to tag a million things or spoil your story, you can rate it as "chose not to use warnings," and maybe tag the bare minimum.
Don't censor tags. How can someone exclude a tag if the word isn't typed out correctly? There are no content bans for terms so don't censor them.
If the tags are mostly content/trigger warnings, especially if they are things considered very fucked up or graphic, you might want to use "dead dove - do not eat" to ensure people know that you're not messing around with tags and what they get is exactly what you've warned them about.
Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLATONIC, like friendship or family.
Nothing is banned. This is an rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.
People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.
Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite or an exchange youve written for going public). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.
Instead of deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - consider making it anonymous or orphaning it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to your name anymore. If you still want to delete it, fair enough.
It's come to my attention that metaworks ARE allowed on AO3, which is something I wasn't aware of. So if you do post an essay or theory, please tag it as such so others can choose to search for it or exclude it. Art is also allowed.
The only reason this archive works is because NON ONE PROFITS. Do not link to your ko-fi or patreon or mention monetary gain in any way or you violate the terms and risk having your account removed. If anyone does link, it leaves the archive open to people claiming it's for profit and having the whole thing removed.
I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.
I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.
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"According to National Coalition for the Homeless, 40% of the country’s homeless youth population is comprised of LGTBQ+ teens.
When New York native Austin Rivers took up knitting during the COVID-19 pandemic, it was this staggering figure that drove him towards action.
“I don’t have the capacity to build a shelter, the network or the connections to help in that way, but what I can do is knit,” Rivers told NBC News.
“And I know that New York City is cold, so I decided I would start knitting and create this nonprofit.”
That’s when he founded Knit the Rainbow, an organization that distributes free handmade garments to those in need.
And nearly five years after it was first created, Rivers’ knitting collective isn’t just serving the queer community in New York City.
Their nationwide network links local yarn stores and local nonprofits with over 550 volunteers from 45 states.
As of 2024, they have collected and distributed over 25,000 winter garments — including sweaters, hats, gloves, scarves, and socks — throughout homeless communities in New Jersey, Chicago, Detroit, and beyond.
Once clothing items are shipped to Rivers’ apartment, he works with volunteers to unpack boxes, tag and sort donations, and pack and deliver them to local shelters that provide housing to LGBTQ+ and HIV+ homeless youth.
Although the organization’s impact is wider, and the piles of mail have grown higher, Rivers still has a hand in day-to-day deliveries.
“We’re going to do it whether it’s rain, or snow, or shine,” Rivers said in his NBC News interview, pulling a handcart topped with boxes.
Those clothes could be the difference between frostbite and hospitalization, especially in cities that often drop below freezing in the wintertime.
But Rivers also noted that every handmade item — knitted, crocheted, or stitched — has a dual impact, because every piece of clothing is made with love.
“A lot of the times, the reason that they’re unhoused is because they were kicked out by their families,” Rivers said.
“We’re not just providing warmth, but we’re also providing that love and that compassion that they so often don’t have.”
To the members of the community Knit The Rainbow served, he had a clear message.
“There are thousands of people out here that are constantly thinking of you and using their hands to make things for you,” Rivers emphasized. “So don’t give up. Keep going.”
To download free knitting [and crochet] patterns, donate a garment, or sign up to volunteer, you can visit the organization's website to get started."
-via GoodGoodGood, December 23, 2024
#winter#new york#nyc#new york city#chicago#detroit#united states#homelessness#unhoused#housing crisis#knitting#fiber crafts#fiber art#crochet#crocheting#fibre arts#nonprofit#volunteering#grassroots#knitblr#yarnblr#knitting pattern#knitters of tumblr#yarn crafts#crocheters of tumblr#crochet pattern#lgbtq#lgbtq youth#lgbtq community#lgbtq positivity
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Lust for love. // Aemond Targaryen x Wife!Reader.
Summary: Aemond's life has always been a bitter and sour one, the only sweet thing in his life was you, his wife, perhaps too sweet for his liking, yet he neglected you in the past but a series of events lead you both together into love.
WARNINGS: mdni, smut, unprotected p in v, cunnilingus, interrupted orgasm, horny aemond, martial duties, clit stimulation, tiddy succin, body worship(?), gentle and kind aemond but he gets rough during sex, + not proofread, lmk if I missed any!
WC: 2.9k
A/N: divider credits @cafekitsune
The cold breeze brushed against Aemond's face as he walked hastily towards your chamber, his boots clacking against the stone floor heavily while his heart banged in his ribcage.
He was feeling light headed, unable to form any thoughts and only the words of the maester rang inside his skull from earlier. ‘Your lady wife seems to be sick’ he had informed him and those mere words were enough to make Aemond spurt up from his chair in the meeting room and immediately rush towards you.
Aemond, frankly, did not know why he was feeling anxious at the information that you were sick, he did not even like you much and only merely married you for the connections and benefits your family provided.
You were just a mere duty to him, so when did he start caring about you?
He stood in front of your chamber door waiting anxiously as the guard gave him a bow before he opened the door, the mental hinges creaking as it slowly moved. He steps inside hurriedly and immediately lets out a sigh of relief when he sees you sitting up. You just stare at him confused.
“Husband? What are you doing here?” The tone of your voice indicated surprise, because Aemond had never visited your chambers even once since the beginning of your marriage and only called you to his chamber when he wanted to consummate.
“I had been informed by the maester that you were sick.” He replies nonchalantly, tone betraying the true feelings that were whirling on the inside. He wanted to get close to you, embrace you.
“I'm not with child.” You reluctantly tell him while looking down, suddenly feeling as though you are a disappointment. It felt humiliating to tell him that, especially when he came all the way to your chambers, he probably expected that you would be with a child.
Except that was not the case.
Aemond was confused on why you were bringing up that topic now, but then it clicked in his head and he cleared his throat, grabbing your attention before shaking his head, “Oh no, wife, I wasn't here because of that.. I was worried.” He admits and your eyes widen in shock.
Worried for you?
For as long as you can remember Aemond never seemed the type to show affection or concern for anyone, perhaps it was due to his past grievances, you had only heard about his eye through rumours, he never opened up to you about anything. You were a duty for him, someone he needs a legitimate heir from; because it is not as though he doesn’t have whores to seek pleasure from so what is the use of you? ; or at least that is what you had assumed and questioned.
But to Aemond, you were his sweet gentle wife, he was afraid of hurting you, in his vision, you were like a white swan, pure, elegant and graceful, he did not want to scare you lest you fly away from him. He did not know when he started perceiving you in this way, but as time went on, he had developed quite a soft spot for you.
“My apologies, Lord husband, I did not intend to worry you.” You apologised, he shook his head gently. “No need to apologise, how are you feeling now?” He questions and you simply blink at him, “I'm well, better than before.” You reply with a soft smile. Aemond's lip curved upwards slightly as he nodded, “Very well.” He says in a dismissive tone.
Awkward silence falls between you both as you look down, he clears his throat before speaking, “If you'll pardon me- I have to—”
“Would you like to take a walk with me?” The question leaves your mouth in a hurry before you could stop it, a desperate attempt at clinging onto this fleeting moment of affection. He seems slightly taken aback but he nods his head, “I'd love to.” He replies and you nod, stepping in his direction and standing next to him. “Shall we go?” You inquire, “Yes, wife.” He answers and you wait for him to take the first step, which he does; and soon you follow him out of the room.
You both stroll down the garden, admiring the scenery, the breeze was gentle today, and the weather seemed perfect, Aemond linked your arm in his, holding you close to him.
Your skin was soft to the touch and it drove him insane, he couldn't help but stare at the way your breasts pushed up against the material of your dress, he never really properly fucked you like you deserve.
Yet now, he just wants nothing to do but push you against the castle wall and fuck you relentlessly in the garden. Aemond realised that he never heard you moan, or show any type of reaction when he consummated with you.
He wondered how your soft voice would shriek in pleasure, calling out his name in pleasure, how you'd cling so tightly to him, he wished he could witness such a sight. He wished he hadn't gone to whores to receive pleasure while he left his wife dry. He missed out on a lot of things due to his decisions.
He mentally made a note to stop visiting brothels as it would taint your honour, he could simply seek the same pleasure from you. He became more bothered as his imagination went wild.
“... husband…? husband…!” He snaps out of his imagination, looking at your confused expression, “Y-Yes? Please excuse me, I was lost in thought.” He apologises and you give him a soft smile, “You were saying something?” He asks and you nod, “I was thinking about; well; if you excuse my rudeness, I realised we don't know much about each other.” You truthfully tell him.
Aemond furrows his brows in question, “What do you mean by that wife?”
“I want to get to know you, husband.” You stare at him in the eye and his eye widens slightly, and just then he recalls the memory of Aegon's words.
“That woman in the brothel knows more about you than your own wife, don't you find it amusing?” He was taunting Aemond, and at that time Aemond ignored those words, but now that you've openly admitted that you don't know him much made his heart shatter.
“Of course wife, what do you wanna know?” He decides to let his guard down, ready to tell you whatever you ask for. “Everything.” You reply, biting your lip anxiously, your hand travels up to his face, caressing his cheek before you trail your thumb down his scar. He knew what that implication meant and he smiles at you in a gentle manner, his own hand coming up to grab your wrist.
“Of course.”
Days pass by just like that, your marriage with Aemond had improved tremendously after your little effort to get to know him better, you felt bad for him when he began to reveal such vulnerable things, yet you never judged him.
He had shown you all of his vulnerability so openly, from the matter of his eye to everything else. You listened in silence, and he appreciated that.
As Aemond grew more comfortable, he began to show his emotional side, which included both his vulnerability and anger. He would utter treasonous things about his own brother.
This night was one of those cold nights, the cold breeze flew into the martial chambers you were waiting in, the maids prepared you for the consummation as they do, you and Aemond consummate according to your moon cycle since your only duty is to provide him with a heir.
And besides, he probably did not want to lay with you in an intimate manner, or for pleasure. You felt insecure because of that.
You were scared that after all this progress, everything would return to the same way it was before because of this night, you doubted that it would happen but your thoughts plagued you.
You winced when you felt the maid tug at a hair strand accidentally, “Sorry my lady.” She apologises to you, “It is alright.” You respond softly, you stare at your own reflection in the mirror, eyes trailing down your features.
The door to the chamber opens, and Aemond strides in hurriedly, the maids quickly finish fixing you up and leave the room immediately, you get up from your seat and turn around to see Aemond undoing his clothes.
“Let me help you.” You offered, usually he would decline and continue to undress himself, and you expected that again, but his actions shocked you.
He immediately dropped his hands to the side and turned to look at you, waiting for you to walk over to him and help him. You blinked rapidly before rushing over to where he stood before you stood in front of him.
Your hands immediately began to work on removing his vest, your fingers delicately undid the loops, you were too focused on the job that you failed to notice Aemond's piercing gaze. He watched with intent as you worked on removing his clothes, his eye taking in your form. His breeches felt tight.
You pushed his coat off his shoulders and peeled away the vest, revealing his tunic beneath the layers, his garments fell to the ground with a shuffle, you stepped back, leaving him in his undergarments.
He grabbed the hem of his tunic before he pulled it off and then began to undo his breeches, untying the strings. You took that as a gesture to lay down on the bed, facing up.
This is what you did when you both consummated before, you would lay down, he would spread your legs, insert himself, finish and leave.
You expected that to be the case, but you were surprised when climbed on top of you, his face right in front of yours, platinum locks curtaining around you. He stared at your lips for a moment before he leaned in, capturing your lips with his.
You were surprised, and didn't know what to do, so you stayed still, but he bit your lip, indicating his disappointment at your freezing up, and so you immediately tried to mimic his movements.
Your lips danced against his, yet it couldn't match the fervent passion he moved with, it was desperate, intimate and most importantly, filled with love and lust.
All your prior insecurities melted away under his warm lips which were filled with desire and want, he wanted you, he seeked you out.
You both pulled away to catch your breaths, his lips were glossy from your saliva and slightly swollen. Your heart was pounding loudly in your chest.
Aemond moved your night off your shoulder before ripping it apart, revealing your breasts which you immediately covered out of instinct. But he gently grabbed your wrists and pinned your hands to the side of your head.
He leaned down, tracing kissing down your jawline, to your neck and to the soft flesh of your chest. His hot breath against your bud made you shiver in delight.
He hooked his tongue on your hardened nipple before engulfing it with his mouth, you let out a squeal of surprise at his actions but you didn't stop him.
He suckled on it gently, using his teeth to trap the bud in between before licking it with his tongue, he grunted in delight, his grip loosening one of your hands, freeing it from his hold.
He grabbed your unoccupied breast with his now free hand, giving it soft squeezes and playing with the bud, rolling and pinching it. You were new to this, not having any understanding of what was happening, after all, you've only read about it, never experienced such intimate acts yourself.
You rubbed your thighs together, trying to ease the ache that was forming in between them, you realised how sticky the area felt, and how it made it difficult for the friction of rubbing to work.
He notices this, lets go of your breast with a pop, he smirks before he rises off from you and settles in between your legs, this was the position you were more used to.
He spreads your legs wide apart, pulling up your nightgown, revealing all of you. He pressed his thumb against your clit which made your breath, you stared at him confused until you felt him rub small circles upon it.
Your body felt pangs of delightful stimulation, you couldn't help but enjoy the feeling, all of this was foreign to you. Aemond takes a deep breath before he closes in on your cunt, before licking a stripe upwards to your clit. You jolt from the sudden pleasure.
Aemond wrapped his lips around it, sucking on the bud slowly, you whined, grabbing his head for support as his mouth worked wonders down there. You tasted absolutely divine to Aemond, your essence trailing down his cheek as your body produced so much of it. You whimpered, thrashing around lightly as his warm tongue flickered with your bud.
Aemond's tongue swirled around your clit before he captured it with his mouth once again; “Oh! Yes!” You moaned, throwing your head back in pleasure when you felt him nibble on your bud. An unfamiliar feeling of warmth rose in your lower abdomen, you felt as if there was a fire inside you, waiting to combust any moment.
Just when you feet the flames beginning to erupt, Aemond stops his manoeuvres, putting out the fire, you furrowed your brows in confusion, wondering why he stopped.
But when you looked at Aemond, he seemed like an entirely different being at that moment, he had risen up back to his haunches again taking deep breaths almost as if he was trying to contain himself.
He was.
He had never felt such an overwhelming of desire in his body, every time he touched you; his mind scrambled into pieces, he wanted to fuck you so badly.
“Aemond?” You call out softly, confused, wondering if he was disappointed by your behaviour but it seems to snap him out of his daze and he stares at you. “I apologise; I'm finding it hard to control myself.” He admits his thoughts.
“Then don't.”
Aemond swore he heard you wrong.
“What?” He questions you.
“Don't try to Aemond, Don't hold yourself back, I want this, I want you.” You admit shyly.
The atmosphere fell silent for a second and you could feel the awkwardness from your own words beginning to sink in, that was until Aemond moved suddenly.
You shrieked as he pulled your hips onto his lap, wasting no time in inserting himself, you gasped at the sudden stretch, feeling yourself become full of him. You grabbed onto his shoulders for support.
He held your waist tightly, grabbing onto your hips for leverage as he began to move, thrusting himself in and out.
This was a movement you were familiar with, yet somehow it still feels new because of the strange sensation, it felt more intimate and passionate, his thrusts held meaning and it was as if every time he pushed inside you; he was reaffirming his love and desire for you.
He pushed you into the mattress, grabbing your legs and shoving them to your chest as he thrusted hard, his skin slapped against yours loudly, the room echoing the noises.
You threw your head back at the sensation, and you felt the fire in your stomach rekindle and you couldn't help but desperately chase it. “Ah, right there.” You moaned, feeling him hit a sweet spot inside you that fueled the fire in you, you gasped for air as every thrust of his knocked it out of your lungs. “You feel so good, you're driving me insane, wife.” Aemond grunts, his thrusts never once faltering.
Everything about this night together was very different from the previous ones, Aemond had never felt this good and neither have you, he regrets not trying to get to know you earlier. He felt like he was in heaven with the way you clenched around him.
He felt his high approaching, and he desperately ran after it thrusting deeper inside as he groaned and moaned.
Your body jolted up and down the bed and you felt the fire beginning to spread out slowly, you closed your eyes, when you felt the fire suddenly go out, you were confused but as Aemond thrusted one more time it erupted in your body like volcano, coursing through your veins and to your mind.
You moaned loudly, grabbing the sheets and arching your back as your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the intensity, you have never felt this way before.
Your vision went completely white before you could see once again, you felt Aemond finish inside you, his cocking twitching as he spurted his seed deep inside you.
“Seven hells.” He groans, riding his orgasm off, you watch as he clenches his eye shut taking deep breaths.
He looked so ethereal.
He immediately falls down next to you, catching his breath, he pulls you close and kisses you on the forehead, “You did so well for me.” He praises you, and you blush shyly.
Neither of you moved from the bed, having no intention to.
Typically Aemond would leave the room right after.
Yet he didn't.
He was stroking your shoulder gently as you dozed off, head resting on his shoulder.
He looks at your closed eyelids and thinks you're asleep.
“I love you.” He confesses, realising his true feelings.
Your lips quirk up into a smile before you open your eyes slightly.
“I love you too.”
You then doze off into slumber immediately, Aemond's heart picks up its pace, embarrassed and shy that you had heard him, but your response made him smile.
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