#and everytime i look at this gifset for a long time

[fixitwithwhat]

Credit to sga-mcshep-4ever's beautiful gifset I love all you gif creators so much thank you for providing <3

I think about this scene a lot.

Like, a LOT.

It's the first episode after the pilot, they're not even a team yet and we get this. We get John and Rodney being like this. They had almost no interactions up to this point and then suddenly we get this scene and everytime on rewatch it hits me like a truck.

Up to this point, we have never seen Rodney like this. We have SG-1 McKay in 48 hours being unable to have even one decent conversation with a human being. We have a slightly less terrible Rodney in the recurring instances after.

Even Rodney's opening interaction with Carson in this very episode doesn't go without him insulting his medical degree and then, out of the blue, we get this.

And I always have to think about how did it come to this? How did it pan out? Why did he go to John of all people instead of heading back to Carson going "hey, btw, your gene therapy worked, check this out!" What did it look like? Did he just run up to this flyboy like kids do on the playground when they show off their toy and randomly decide to be friends? Just "MajOR, look what I fOunD" and John going "omg that's so C O oL"? And then they pause and John just goes "hey do you think it can handle it if I swung this metal rod at your face real hard", like. I THINK ABOUT THIS SCENE A LOT.

What prompts Rodney to have an instant connection with this man and trust him to shoot at him? "Oh, believe me, that's not the first thing we've tried." What else have you tried before John shot at you? How long have you two been at this?

It's messing me up how they're instantly on the same wavelength. It's messing me up how happy they both look. How we've NEVER seen Rodney so genuinely, boyishly excited before. How we've never seen him interacting with a person in such a genuine, positive way. How this is the first time we see him having fun with anyone.

Same for John, there's nothing of that sardonic attitude from the pilot, he just looks like a kid and his "Did you SEE that?"-voice when he storms down the stairs is just so heartfelt and giddy. Both of them look like they're having fun with a good friend and it's messing me up.

I think about this scene a lot.

[woodswallow]

What are the Paulchard kisses that makes you squeal the most? Mine are LA 23sep22, Mexico 4oct22 and Brussel 5aug23! 🤍

Ooh, thank you so much for this beautiful ask! :D *cracks knuckles* Great timing, because I just recently went through all their old kisses...

Also impossible to only name one, very hard to narrow it down to three as you did (excellent selection by the way ;) - so I'll cut it down to four :D

Definitely on the list is one of their very early kisses from 6th July 2019 (Milton Keynes, UK, GIFs by @mrsfitzgerald):

This is everything: Cute, funny, a bit clumsy - and it still makes me squeal. It looks so unusual how fast Richard approaches Paul, also - with his forhead first?! Like he wants to do a headboink and then decides last minute for a kiss?! Paul seems a bit confused as well. And then both of them bringing their chin forward to kiss, that movement looks so sensual. Aaand of course, THE huge bonus here - Schneider in the back *sigh* The light highlighting him, he's watching - and the the smile?! This made my fantasy run wild. I love all three so much and this was a gift from heaven.

Another very, very important kiss is this one from Belgium 3rd August 2022 (GIFset by mrsfitzgerald):

I knooow that it's slowed down, nevertheless all expressions we see here are real. And look at that 5th GIF. Look at it. How soft Richard places his hand on that beautiful neck. How Richards bright smile slowly fades and for a brief moment shows this expression of...bittersweet longing? Passion? How he averts his gaze from Pauls eyes to his lips is just so...is this even real? And Richards face afterwards - he's beaming with joy! Pure bliss. I've watched this so many times and still sigh heavily.

Then this one here (Bern, 17th June 2023):

My heart is overflowing with love everytime I see it - because I have the feeling that Pauls heart actually in that moment is overflowing with love. This was totally unscripted, and it shows. It was a spontaneous reaction from Paul, feeling that Richard needed some sort of support (the "well, it is what it is" - gesture or Richard after the kiss kind of confirms this to me). It's a consoling gesture to me, because Paul is also caressing his shoulder and even came back again to caress him again. This kiss is SO unexpected, so hinest and real - and special because Paul took both hands to cup Richards head. Such a warm, caring loving gesture. Also there are snippets that show Richards expression - and it's soo lovely to see his expression change from "I'm totally cool" to a blank "??!" to that heartmelting smile. Also this has such a special place in my heart because I saw it live from second row and I screamed SO loud that everyone around was probably deaf afterwards. The two concerts in Bern were an absolute blast, first row the next day - mindblowing. And that kiss made my heart burst and still does <3

And then: YES, I totally have to agree - that last kiss in Mexico 4th October 2022 will forever live rent-free in my head.

This is a real kiss. So full of emotions, it could be THE goodbye kiss in a romantic movie when the couple has to seperate.

First, there's fun, playing around. Then the kiss, full of passion - and suddenly...grief. Pain. Sadness. I once did a lengthy analysis of this kiss (#kiss analysis ... you guys know this by now maybe ^^;). Richard definitely fights for composure here and it's ...god, when I think about it, it makes me so weak. It's surely because he realizes the tour is over and not because he will lose Paul - he doesn't lose him of course, he's his bandmate. But seeing his expression and how tight he hugs Paul and how tight Paul hugs back - good god, this doesn't only pull my heartstrings, it shredds them.

Best kiss ever, I tell you. Can only be topped by a french kiss!

Little bonus (not Paulchard, but also makes me squeal :D

(Brussel, Day 3 2024)

[lheautontimoroumenos]

this was originally tags under a gifset of mine but I felt it was getting a bit too long so here we go.

I have so much to say about “oh is the sad little sidekick mad?” line in the jackieshauna argument in 110.

Jackie is so strongly taunting Shauna during the first part of the fight. She's poking and poking until Shauna answers and when she does she's fully gobsmacked.

"Is the sad little sidekick mad" is just so Shauna. Especially then but I think it's even true now. She's not quite the same sidekick anymore because Jackie's dead but she doesn't stand on her own either. She's a housewife, fills her days with her responsibilities to her family, she never fulfilled her teenage dreams of studying.

But she's also still Jackie's sidekick: she's married to Jeff, Jackie's mom compares them all the time, everytime someone speaks of Jackie they're speaking of Shauna. They are inseparable in the truest sense of the word.

And god is she mad. She's been mad for so long too. I think first of all she's angry at herself, deep down. For sleeping with Jeff, for lying to Jackie about it and Brown, for resenting Jackie and their friendship, for being the reason she died.

But then closer to the surface, she's angry at everyone else all the time. It's all Jeff's fault (the blackmail and the cheating), her daughter's a bitch and talks back, tai left her to join Lottie club and hired a journalist to look into her life, Nat became the leader and stile her hard-earned right, Lottie's the reason her baby's dead everyone's taking her for granted

She's a sidekick: she doesn't know how not to be codependent because the last time she let someone go Jackie died. She's mad: they actually go hand in hand, she holds onto people and things so tight that if anything moves in any unplanned way she has to kill it. Kill it before it kills itself, rather she decides when it leaves her than it leave her out of the blue when she's not prepared. Everything has to be under control, her control, or it's dangerous and will become the object of her anger.

[sillsif]

↳ 8 Shows To Get To Know Me

thank you @jyuubin for tagging me! sorry it took me a while to type this up.

i have decided to pick shows that i rewatch for comfort or keep me awake at night thinking about every little detail and emotion inside. here we go!

Bones (2005 - 2017) i grew up with this show and i just love temperance brennan with my entire life. i love the smithsonians i love booth and brennan i love i love i love and i rewatched s1-s3 sooooooo many times because iykyk it just kills me in the best way everytime.

Because This is My First Life (2017) my comfort feel good kdrama. i love how this drama focused on telling the stories of three women fighting for their dreams, and how every one of them had their own definition of happiness. oh i feel so much for the three of them and i love love love their love interests too. such a well-written show.

The Good Place (2016 - 2020) another comfort and feel good show. the good place is fun, intelligent, and most importantly, kind. it came out during a time when we all needed that reassurance: that things can be changed. things can be better. things SHOULD be better. WE should be better, and we CAN be. i'd even say it's another version of everything everywhere all at once's philosophy. it also has chidi anagonye, the love of my goddamn life.

First Kill (2022) if i were a zombie ♪ i'd never eat your brains ♪ a lesbian vampire x hunter show that got fucking cancelled by netflix bc netflix hates lesbians. i miss them sorely. this show was fun and intriguing, it has the right tone for teenage romance — dramatic and heart-wrenching. the cast is incredibly charming — gorgeous women from mothers to daughters and beautiful men too. talia burns you are everything.

Racket Boys (2021) coming-of-age sports kdrama. i had a visceral reaction to insol when he [redacted] and then i had a mini phase where i had intense brainrots over haesol ( haekang x insol ) which in retrospect is sorta like me with palmchopper. you get what i mean? i still love insol very much and i still have brainrots about them in fact i'm looking at my gifsets right now.

The Get Down (2016 - 2017) I WILL NEVER FORGIVE NETFLIX FOR CANCELLING THIS SHOW. the get down was about the bronx and the beginning of hip hop. ezekiel figuero and shaolin fantastic. mylene. dizzee kipling. i love them so much. so many iconic scenes and lines. justice smith has remained one of my fave actors since then.

Better Call Saul (2015 - 2022) i watched this show during the airing of its final season bc it was all on netflix and i did not expect how easily i grew attached. i watched breaking bad a long time ago and never thought too much of saul goodman the funny lawyer, so i didn't rush to watch bcs when it first aired. but damn how glad i am to have binged it when it delivered its finale too. incredibly tight-knit and immaculate in writing and filming. the details are so intricate it's almost impossible to pull off but they managed. it's quite heavy from time to time, and such a tragedy too. but that's the story. and it does get the ending it deserved. i can say it's the best written tv show i've seen with such a long run.

Scissor Seven (2018 - ) happy, feel good, comfort show. it's a chinese animated series with a lot of canto humour, which just hits home for a canto like me. it follows the regular shounen anime formula but with less self-importance. it's just about a guy who wants to live a good life with people he cares about on this island he calls home. well, with the past coming back for his life.

tagging anyone interested!

[artfuhly]

skam month // week four - tirsdag:

  favourite musical moment(s) 

[foolhearts]

☕ Seb and Lewis before Baku 2017?

WOW what an incredibly loaded ask!! you're right we don't talk about pre baku seb/lewis enough even though they have 10+ years of history before baku even happened... i wish i had a detailed timeline. we could dedicate an entire museum to their relationship.

i previously answered an ask about baku being the turning point on their relationship so i won't focus on that except to say the fact that seb says "we were not best friends" makes me crazy. ofc maybe he really means in that immediate post crash moment and it is very evident they're even closer now, but i would like to know how he defines their pre baku relationship bc let's consider the evidence shall we?

so they've been racing against each other since they were teenagers. which is not unusual in f1! but does everyone look at their rival like this? look at their smiles!! the way they look in each other's eyes like nobody else matters! they've been looking at each other this way for years. they have their way of walking together :)

should we talk about how lewis always says he has a terrible memory yet can remember all his battles his podiums his memories with seb no matter how long ago it was? like when they were babies in f3 at zandvoort in 2005?

in formula 1, their first shared podium was suzuka 2009. since then, they've shared a podium SO MANY TIMES and they always look so happy as they flirt and spray champagne. it's all about the delight on their faces at these dumb intricate rituals. and some of their celebrations... obscene. how much champagne have they poured on each other? how many times have their hands touched? can we even count the amount of times they've congratulated each other, celebrated with each other, shared in each other's important moments? thinking about it makes me insane. they should just kiss already.

speaking of podiums, i laugh everytime i think about the time they excluded nico from their photo. it kinda looks like lewis is the one who makes seb take the photo!!! and way nico walks off dejectedly... it's so good. i love all the b*tchy lewis and seb moments. like them mocking the hat throwing incident right in front of nico!!

and then there's the flirting... this exchange about seb's hands when they're doing the hand imprints for the 2014 japanese gp. excuse me seb??? "you know what they say about men with small hands"??? seems like seb is offering to show lewis the answer...

they have such a long history of making everyone feel like a third wheel during press conferences!!! like when they teased valtteri about the finnish word for excited but it was really just an excuse to flirt!! also how many selfies does lewis have? i'd die to see his seb album.

ok i need to wrap it up with a few key moments:

remember malaysia 2015? i honestly could cry thinking about it. them just sitting on the podium together, touching shoulders and feet. seb is overwhelmed with tears of joy after getting his first win with ferrari. and lewis stays there by his side. this whole gifset is so much but the bottom right kills me. lewis's content smile as he watches seb... sharing this huge moment TOGETHER!

then canada 2016... there is SO MUCH in this race. it's the flirting in the cooldown room and saying "i enjoyed chasing you down" and seb asking if lewis noticed his start. i cannot. they both have it SO BAD. and seb's praise kink is showing. and as noted this is the seagulls incident!! seb just leaves his own interview to come and tease lewis about not braking for seagulls. with a lot of touching.

inspector seb apparently touching lewis's car and then they joke about it!! again the flirting and the touching... truly deranged behavior

lastly let us not forget lewis defending seb's honor against jack whitehall. you tell him lewis!!! seb IS very funny!!!

ok i hope you enjoyed my thesis about seb and lewis pre baku 2017. in conclusion, they have SO MUCH HISTORY and evidence points to them being in love way before the baku incident even happened.

[shinymixedbag]

how do you manage avoiding fandoms? i often get caught up in them, and especially for given i sometimes see takes that i believe are so wrong and in general sometimes feel guilty for the way i view things bc the majority views it a different way.

I feel you. Feeling flabbergasted everytime I saw fans reacting to new chapters was routine. It always made me wonder if I read the same thing they did.

Everyone processes things differently and I understand that. They’re also entitled to their own opinions, but it becomes a problem when people feel the need to go and vomit it out on their social media page because others will see it and whether they agree with it or not, these things really start wearing down on you and plant seeds of doubt in your mind—Am I in the wrong? Is it wrong to like this one character? Am I being insensitive by defending the said character? Is there something wrong with me because I think people are blowing things out of proportion?

Trust me, I’ve been there. I believe it’s beyond tragic when a person grows to hate something love. Hate. Not grow indifferent or bored, but actually hate. It very nearly happened to me with Given. I knew that if i paid attention to all the bullshit—like anons telling me about the drama on twitter and tiktok and facebook everytime a new chapter released and having people contact me telling me to “post an apology” for making it seem like what happned between Akihiko and Haruki was sexual assault... Uh, yeah that happened.—I’d end up hating Given. It got so bad, I physically felt pain everytime I saw ppl talk about Given or post screencaps or GIFSets or cute lil edits. I couldn’t stand it. And I ran away, I even got off tumblr for a long time (even though Given fandom on Tumblr is very tame.)

I had to resort to drastic measures 😅 I stopped responding to anon asks that rub me the wrong way, I blocked anons, I kinda stopped logging in to tumblr for a long time. I hardly scroll through my tumblr feed anymore, I stay away from channels that discuss Given on various discord servers I am on. I don’t fangirl over Given with anyone except a handful of people. I don’t read comments about new releases except the ones the team receives on tumblr...And I’m not on twitter/FB/tiktok/youtube...So, yeah. That’s how I avoid the fandom. Like the plague.

Lastly, I know there are lots of people who understand this is just a story and deal with it in very healthy way. I’m not looking down on those lovely people just because they’re part of the fandom.

[wonwooridul]

🥰 every month of 2021 🥰

i was tagged by my best of the besties @soonwnu @coupsnim and @woozi to post my favorite or most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months).

thankyou you legends <3 i really look up to y’all.

i was very new to content creation in januaray since i started creation in nov of 2020!

January: This was supposed to be posted in jan but i accidently did in dec lol. I really like this boo vs dino gfx I made for svtsource tumblr awards. Then the Jackson missing hours set. i just started making content so there isnt much to show.

February: Starting of with one of my fave sets, seokshine is better than sunshine. Then this set of smiley dino. This adorable coupsie set that i made for dreamy <3 my first time trying sparkles and hoshi for elle looked amazing, gummy smile vernon. lastly, this ot13 birthday set for my birthday twin mirelle <3

March: i wasnt active in march and i only made like two sets that arent worth showing so skip!

April: A 9-gif set of gentle sexy. personally, this cracks me up everytime, the time members were ready to send hoshi to tigercage. And lastly, my chaotic bestfriends boogyu set.

May: the time i realised i am in l*ve with jeon wonwoo. i really liked these gifs of minghao , theyre clean and also the reds in them <3 this was around the time i started getting a hang of what colours i liked and didnt. XMH fave photoshoot gfx. And ofc my beloved svt 6th anniversary gifset which took me so long.

June: starting with best set,,, svt + animals which was made for n <3 Next, this sunshine seok for mirelle <3

July: This wonwoo + flowers gfx. i wasnt very active in july too but i made shit tons of stuff in august lol.

August: i made lot here that i actually like so im just gonna link <3 wisbee with mara (i’m sorry if u don’t have the humour, this is classic), ofc coups birthday set, masterpiece xu minghao for bias swap, hoshi is cora’s bias set for carat anon, hoshi allure recolour (from b&w), moonlight jun set for al <3, prince dk set (this is by far one of my fave gifsets, i love the colouring and the gifs were very clean, sharp and smooth), VU op2 shoot recolour, wonwoo + glasses (my beloved)

September: ehm, lighthearted people are not advised to open cause jarms set, jeonghan in fear mv (finally had the courage the recolour this cursed white jeonghan in fear mv and it turned out well), jeonghan 1st look and vernon pure as melody gfx.

October: i think i did all years worth in october. when i was looking though my stuff all i could find was stuff from october lmao and these are creations that i actually like quite alot. here they are: jeonghan + monet birthday set, jun vlog, danger hoshi, changer jun & nature wonwoo with al, attacca tracks as posters, ot13 RWY set (this set got the most notes this year), missing junhao for alicia, my top 9 moments series, Mingyu racing gazette gfx, soongyu cuddle buddies, s.coups allure recoloured (from blue)

November: prolly my fave gfx, Hao birthday set, woozi birthday set (i didnt like it much but it was still cute, i spend alot of time on it), GoSe Ego posters. i was busy cause i was moving for uni so i couldnt make anything in the second half of nov.

December: lover of mine dk gfx, we fell in love in oct shua gfx, my whole svt concepts as films series <3 currently working on one shua gfx and birthday set, hoping to complete before i go back home !

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

i would like to take this post to appreciate all my beloved mutuals and friends on this site. thankyou for supporting me and always making me smile this whole year. thankyou for leaving cute tags under my posts. y'all were one of the reasons i kept going this year <3 i would like to thank all the beautiful souls at my carat club discord server <3 y'all are my internet family <3

i hope all of you have a great holiday and eat delicious food and spend time without loved ones <3 happy holidays my lovelies <3

tagging: (i dont know who all have been tagged so ill tag a few<3) @soonkwans @seohoshi @dearmyfeb @dearkyeom @dkymm @scoups @aquynh @dokyom @kdongyoung @elfyuta @pdwoozi @yoonzinoswife @softhyungkyun @merry-kwanmas @kingleedo @kyeomblr @kveom @sannie-hannie @wonwoosjeon @awek-s @julyprince @soonshuas (im sorry if you have done already <3)

[coupsnim]

Here’s another ask game for caratblr! Assign your moots as seventeen comeback aesthetics (can include solos, OSTs, collabs, Japanese comebacks, etc) and say why you associate them with that aesthetic! Some can overlap too!

 this was harder and took me way more than expected ahah I decided to go through svt mvs and see if they reminded me of my mutuals, but there are a few songs that I couldn’t associate with anyone so I left them out 🙈

🌼 adore u ~ chey @soonhoonsol ↳ chey is one of the first people that I followed (and probably my first mutual) but this is not the only reason why I associate her with adore u. the song is fun and has a youthful vibe, which reminds me of her, but in the mv we also see a lot of scenes that are not linked to one another and that made me think of chey’s various interests and groups she likes ahah and of course adore u has a special place in every carat’s heart and so does chey (at least here on tumblr ahah)

🌼 mansae ~ cora @ohoshi ↳ I haven’t followed cora for a very long time, but as soon as I watched mansae I thought of her. mansae has the same youthful vibe as adore u but it’s also very energetic and when it hits the chorus it puts you automatically in a good mood, and this is what happens everytime I see cora’s tags under my posts. also her creations are always colourful just like the mv and the members’ hair for this comeback ahah

🌼 pretty u ~ lyns @kyeomshine ↳ I think lyns’ style fits pretty u the best. the mv is fun but it also has a romantic vibe, like one of those coming-of-age movies, which reminds me so much of her creations. moreover, they applied a sepia tone to the mv and whenever I think of sepia I think of lyns ahah

🌼 love letter ~ lee @uriboogyu ↳ love letter is a cute and fun mv, with bright and pastel colours, so when I watched it my mind went straight to the cutest person I follow. and that person is lee. she works so hard to bring new content and to engage with other people as well, her whole blog is like a love letter to svt.

🌼 very nice ~ yza @jonghan ↳ I think aju nice reflects a lot of my mutuals’ vibe, but when I watched the mv I immediately thought of yza. it’s just her and her 13 biases ahah (I know she says she has a bias line but no one actually believes her). the colours in the mv are bright and a bit more saturated compared to previous mvs, which reminds me of her gifs, and the song is fun and upbeat, just like her personality. I think yza fits perfectly with aju nice.

🌼 healing ~ mirelle @leechaerok ↳ to be honest, I don’t need to watch the mv to associate this song to mirelle. she is just such a nice presence on my dash, I’m happy to see her even when she doesn’t post about seventeen. what I like about her is her positivite attitude, her optimism, and the fact that she always has a nice word for everyone. every time I see one of her posts, I immediately feel at ease.

🌼 boomboom ~ emily @iiasha ↳ there are two main reasons why I thought of emily while watching boomboom: jun looks amazing and there’s a lot of technology involved ahah also the video starts out mysterious but then turns out to be funny and a bit silly (and super cool if we include the choreography) and I think this describes exactly how I see emily ahah

🌼 don’t wanna cry ~ carrie @art-hao ↳ don’t wanna cry is one of my favourite mv and I think it matches perfectly with carrie’s style. it’s simple but impactful, and the colour palette and colour grading are gorgeous and well thought in every scene, just like every single creation carrie has posted on tumblr.

🌼 change up ~ zai @icecreamscxups ↳ I don’t really know, maybe it’s because of her change up gifsets, but I immediately thought of zai as soon as I clicked on the mv. I just get change up vibes from her ahah

🌼 habit ~ oona @vernons ↳ oona is a quiet and peaceful but constant presence on my dashboard, she’s seems chill and I like when she shares her other interests outside seventeen. she’s that calm mutual who creates the perfect balance with the more chaotic ones, that’s why I associate her with habit.

🌼 clap ~ dasha @smallkore ↳ clap is a really creative and fun mv and I immediately associated it with all dasha’s gfx. she is one of my favourite content creator, all her ideas are so original and well executed, just like clap mv. I hope she’ll come back soon because I really miss her content!

🌼 thanks ~ kale @choibeomgyus ↳ thanks is another one of my favourite mv, I really love the storyline and the atmosphere. I actually don’t know why I thought of kale as I watched it, but I think her style (which I adore) fits with thanks general vibe.

🌼 just do it ~ isa @kwanies ↳ just do it doesn’t really have an official mv, but I still wanted to include it because I think the lyrics are perfect for isa! I can’t really explain further, as I don’t really know her, but that’s the vibe I get from her ahah

🌼 oh my ~ sofi @scoups ↳ the first thing I associate with oh my is summer, and that’s something that reminds me of sofi’s aesthetic as well. seeing her colourful and bright posts makes me as happy as listening to oh my!

🌼 holiday ~ sarah @dkymm ↳ another song that is perfect for summer (and one of my favourite song ever). I think that sarah fits holiday‘s concept the best, even though I can’t really explain why. maybe it’s because I associate dokyeom stan with bright songs, or maybe it’s just the vibe I get from her, laid back and funny without trying too hard.

🌼 home ~ genesis @shineesbag ↳ I don’t think home concept fits genesis, but she’s still the first person that I thought of when I watched the mv. she’s the only one out of all my mutuals that follows all my blogs (thank you!) and we like more or less the same groups/people, so I just feel really comfortable when I see her on my dash (although we never actually talked). she’s a reassuring presence on my dash and one of my favourite blogs, just like home is one of my favoutie songs.

🌼 hit ~ anna @haniehae ↳ the reason why I associate anna with hit is quite obvious: anna is a dancer and hit has probably the hardest choreography. at first I thought that she would fit don’t wanna cry as well, since the choreography for that song is amazing, but I also feel that hit reflects more her style. I have two left feet, so I admire people that can dance, and anna dances very well!

🌼 fallin’ flower ~ célia @delicatecy and mary @efflorescing-mary ↳ the first person I associate with my all time favourite svt concept is célia (who is the first person I followed on this blog). her style is so elegant, so classy, so (as her url says) delicate. I love it as much as I love fallin’ flower, she is one of my favourite content creator and although she’s not active, I sometimes go on her blog to have a look at all her masterpieces. ↳ the second person I associate with this concept is mary. fallin’ flower is pure poetry, so of course it reminds me of her and her poems!

🌼 snap shoot ~ rhys @heartgyus ↳ me and rhys have been mutuals for less than a month, so I can’t say that I really know her. but I often see her on my dash and I think her personality fits snap shoot, both the song and the mv. also since the video was made by mingyu, my mind probably made a link between the two ahah

🌼 my my ~ maddie @kyeomblr ↳ another personal favourite, my my is a cute and bright song with a cute and bright mv. as I said, I tend to associate dokyeom stan to this kind of songs and I think this concept fits maddie! (I saw it was your birthday yesterday, so happy belated birthday!)

🌼 left and right ~ dreamy @scoupsy ↳ as soon as I watched left and right, dreamy was the first person that came to my mind. not only the concept reminds me of her style, but the song reflects her personality too I think. also left and right is coups’ first comeback after hiatus, so it holds a special place in my heart.

🌼 24h ~ zay @dk-s ↳ zay’s style and her colouring in particular really remind me of 24h. it’s dark without being too dark (like fear, for instance) and it’s quite elegant. also black and red is a colour scheme I associate with zay in general, so the outfits svt wore in the dance scene instantly made me think of her.

🌼 side by side ~ alicia @myungho ↳ that’s cheating, I know, but there’s only one person I can associate to side by side and that’s alicia. not only because she’s the resident myungho stan on my dash, but also the mv reminds me of her witty personality!

🌼 not alone ~ belle @xuseokgyu and nele @seohoshi ↳ the first person I thought of while watching not alone is belle. she’s the most supportive mutual, she always showers me with compliments, even when I post the simplest gifset, and she always makes sure to reblog my content even if it gets 2 notes. she surely makes me feel less alone sometimes. ↳ and I associate this song to nele too for a similar reason, but it’s a more general feeling I get from her. we don’t interact much, but when I see her tags on other people’s posts as well, she’s always so supporting and she always catches the smallest details. she really makes you feel like the time you spent on your content is not wasted.

[nomattertheoceans]

GIF REQUEST MEME: Favorite season from The 100 - Season four

I love season four for a lot of reasons!! I think it’s the best season of the show and it should have been their last (despite my love for most of s5 ^^) I’m gonna ramble a lot but I don’t want it to take over the gifset so I’ll put it under a cut

Season four is the time of hard, impossible choices for everybody. The bomb at Farm Station, the List, the Nightblood tests, opening the bunker, the anti-radiation medicine…. Everybody is put through the ringer during this season and honestly, this is what I’m here for.

First great point for me personally: They can’t stop the radiations. When season 3 ended with the reveal of the radiations coming, I was legit disappointed with the show, I didn’t want them to spend the season “turning off” radiations miraculously, you know. So when ep 2 of the season aired and the first thing Raven said was “there’s no magic button to stop this” I WAS SO HAPPY!! It immediately got me much more hyped for the rest of the season because I was invested in “riding out 5 years of hell” much more than “let’s find a magic button”. So the season hooked me then ^^

The season is really good at re-using previous themes and twist them in just the right way

Clarke, who was so angry at the council for killing her dad, finds herself in the council’s position, and starts to understand that making such hard decisions is never easy. Making the list for instance, is so different from what she had to do before. The genocide of Mt Weather was an act of despair in the middle of a war, but making the list is a process, she has to truly chose who is “worth” more, which is what the council did when they sent the 100 to the Ground. She choses to hide the truth from everybody despite it going against what she wanted at the start of the show. It’s a really cool change for her character.

The Arkers and Grounders take the decision to test the Nightblood against Luna, the Rock Line thief, and Emori’s will. An obvious reminder of s2 but that I appreciate. I liked the Mt Weather story because of this: the mountain men were the antagonists but they also were the same as the rest of the show, they were doing whatever they had to do to survive, whatever it took, no matter how cruel it could be. We see in this season that when faced with the same decision, our protagonists reach the same result: sacrificing other people’s bodily autonomy to survive is worth it to them. It’s a really interesting theme to bring back because it muddies the waters of who’s right and wrong, and it highlights that in the end, there is no black and white answer.

This season gives us my personal favorite version of Clarke: she’s the closest she’ll get to a true antagonist (only comparable to s5 but s5 is a little bit of a mess so I still prefer her in s4). She has one conviction: saving her people. And to get it, she is ready to lie, to cheat, to kill, whatever it takes. It is interesting because I always saw Clarke in that light. She always believes that she has the right idea and she will do what it takes to get what she thinks is best. That’s where she is interesting to me (I’m not interested in her being an innocent victim forced to take decisions, that’s not how I see her at all and I find her a little dull in that interpretation haha but that’s for another post). Clarke stealing the bunker is a cruel act, but man, it’s incredibly smart. At that moment she knows she’s condeming many people (some of whom very close to her) to death, but she believes deep inside her that it’s the right thing to do so she’s willing to do it. And i really prefer her in those ruthless moments.

Octavia’s arc this season isn’t my favorite, but she is at her best during the last few episodes for me. The creation of Wonkru is one of my favorite scenes of the entire show, even though I saw it coming a mile away lmao (1200 spaces, 12 clans, it was easy to see where they were going!). I love the scene, I love the place it comes from (Octavia channeling Lincoln’s convictions was brilliant). I might not agree with her decisions (skaikru definitely deserved more spots than the other clans), but it makes perfect sense for her character to make this decision. The scene of her talking to Skaikru and telling them they’re no different from the others, and they have to choose or they all die, is also one of my favorites. Octavia received no mercy on the Ark, she had a terribly tragic childhood because of those people who are now begging her for their lives, and she doesn’t budge. The Ark, and the Ground, forced her to be that way, and she doesn’t back away. It’s also all a brilliant introduction to what Wonkru and Octavia will become in s5 (but again, that’s for another post lmao)

I love that we get the introduction of Spacekru because I love their little found family and the scene where they reach the Ring is so good!

Murphy’s speech to Clarke makes me tear up everytime I see it (it really was one of the strongest moments of acting of the entire show, Richard Harmon is amazing in it). Emori also blows me away in the previous episode, the way she’s shown to be ruthless, and cunning, and also how well she reads people. She knew they would come to test someone, and she did everything she had to for that someone to not be her. I love her ^^

I like the plot of the second dawn bunker well enough! (although I will never change my mind that Cadogan was a dumbass for putting it where it is instead of IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST WHERE THERE’S NO RISK OF BUILDINGS FALLING ON IT LIKE WHAT LITERALLY HAPPENED IN S5 OKAY anyway…..), it’s far from perfect but I like that it explains the people coming to greet Becca in s3, and I like that we expand a little on the origins of the Grounders culture (even though I wanted more about this). It’s kind of an “easy” solution, but at the same time it’s not. It was established early in the season before being abandoned, and even once it’s found, it’s not at all a perfect and easy solution. They have to fight for it, decide who lives there, it’s a pretty interesting development. What I mean is that it’s not discovered one episode before the end and it doesn’t solve everything. If anything, it creates more conflict. Which I appreciate alot.

ALSO ALSO Echo is a badass general in this season and I love it. She goes from being a spy in earlier seasons, to full-on commanding armies and being a strategic mastermind and I love it! She’s also ruthless and cunning and I lvoe that for her. It’s also such a good season for her and Bellamy!!! I lvoe all of it ^^

This season also has one of my favorite underrated quotes!!!! I’m gonna use a gif here cause I’m not at the limit yet lmao

“It’s unity day.” GODDDD it’s so good. It’s simple, but it conveys so much information and I love it:

Unity Day: the stations coming together to survive -> we’re virtually in the same situation here.

It’s a happy occasion, a day of survival and hope, just like the hope Octavia gave all the clans with her decisions

But it’s also a day of death and loss. She’s giving Kane a choice: join Wonkru with 100 members, or die in the flames.

It reminds us of the history of the Arkers, and I love when world-building does this thing where both characters are shown to have such a close cultural background that three little words are enough to convey such a strong message. It’s a detail but I love it and I wanted to ramble for a little bit ^^

Clarke’s sacrifice: This is when it gets to “meh” points for the seasons for me. Clarke deciding to stay behind to save Spacekru was a good moment. Yes, I know that if she hadn’t climbed the tower they all would have died anyway, but still. It’s a great moment for her character. She has hurt those people time and time again during this season, she was ready to let them die more than once, and I think she regrets it (although again, I like to see the extremes she’s willing to reach in this season). In that moment, she doesn’t decide that it’s too late to survive so she might as well give up. She knows she’s going to die, and she gives her last moments to save the lives of the people she hurt in the past. And I really love this. That is….. Until Clarke is revealed to not have died. I truly believe that she had reached the ending of her arc in the show, and it would have been a great ending to her character. But that’s also because I believe the show should have ended in s4 lmao. If it had ended, then maybe they could have left her death ambiguois, by showing her reaching the safety of the lab, but not showing her again afterwards. That way, we had no way of being sure she survived, but it was left ambiguous enough to make us decide her fate outselves.

The perfect ending: I didn’t choose the last gif randomly. That scene of Raven and Bellamy looking down on the Earth was in my opinion the perfect shot to end the show. At that point in time, we are left in a place that is very similar to where the show started: the Earth is destroyed by radiations, some people are waiting it out in space, some people are waiting it out on the ground. it mirrors the premise of the show (although in a much smaller scale), but this time, we’re left with hope of what might come in the future. Those two groups know (or hope) that they will reunite, especially with Octavia and Bellamy, the relationship at the core of the show, being separated. If the show ends here, we have come full circle from the pilot episode, and we can imagine how those two groups will reunite in the future. I find that ending the best possible for the show, so even though there’s so much I like about season 5, I wish the show had stopped at that moment, at that shot of Raven and Bellamy looking down on the Earth.

That got reaaaaally long, so…. sorry about that xD If you’ve reached this far, feel free to tell me what you think of this season (or the others haha) or send me asks, or request for other gifsets!!!

[magnificent-winged-beast]

Raven, due to the recent upsettingly hot gifset (he’s so hot im upset). Do u have Older!Cas Destiel fics which u like, would u like to share? :D

Thank u for giffing it for us. Good day, Raven. 🌼🌷☀️

First I'm sorry for the late response. I was having the longest month ever since Christmas at work. (yeah for me till today was a unified month since the last year with all the confinement)

Anyways, I promised you my list. As I said it's not a very long list but it's the best I can provide of my Bookmarks and general recommendations.

Ok, as I understand you want Older!Cas fics kinda the situation with Destiel, like 3000+ years of difference or Cockles +4 situation. Hmmm.

Well, I did my best to remember, because you see I oftenly download the fics. I recently acquired the habit of bookmark the ones I enjoyed for future references. So, having only the PDFS had me looking over AO3 again to find the link.

So here it is my very short and very SMUTY list:

FIRST

This ones are a clear age difference and written by @zationao3 that I love and devour everytime they publish something new. I read them last month (December 🤣)

The GAS N SIP verse.

Dean is a kinda lovesick teenager and Cas is an oblivious Gas-N-Sip employee.

Dean is 18 Cas is 30+ a joyride of porn direct to the feelings. ❤️

Counting Down

Castiel Novak is the Principal at Lawrence High School, well-respected amongst colleagues and fiercely protective of his students. Dean Winchester is a bit of an unfortunate troublemaker in his senior year of high school.

A+ Porn with feelings ❤️❤️

I recommend her very much her fics are fun and smuty, and can capture Cas /Dean personalities in modern settings. 👌🏼

SECOND

Even if the first author it's superb and she's an important part of the fandom. I have to mention "the classics" or the Uber recognized writers among our Destiel community. It's like your first and honest assessment of literature usually comes from the things you enjoyed recently. But sometimes you have to mention the classics to make a statement about being literated and of course I read Dostoevsky, Tolkien, and stuff. (of course 😬)

This aren't specifically Older!Cas but kinda are? It's my way to share this wonderful fics that I enjoyed very much the last year.

Russian to the Altar

@malmuses

“I need you to marry Castiel.”

They weren’t the words Dean expected to hear from his business partner’s mouth before their bakery-slash-chocolate shop opened for the day. He’d been quite happy being single—and who the fuck was Castiel, anyway?

It turned out that Castiel was a Russian erotic novelist in need of a ticket to America, and Dean… well, Dean was a last resort.

I'm not sure if is mentioned Cas age, but he very much has this vibe of current Misha age and Jackles too. I loved it. Has drama BDSM and feelings. What else can you ask? 👑

I Wanna Get Outside (Of Me)

By Emwebb17

Dean is a novice in the dom/sub world asked by his employer as a desperate last resort to be a sub for his recluse of a brother, Castiel. Castiel is a diagnosed OCD suffering from PTSD and agoraphobia, mysophobia, and dystychiphobia. Needless to say—he’s a mess who hasn’t stepped out of his home in literally seven years. The only times Gabriel can see traces of the way his brother used to be is when he feels in control—specifically when he has control over a sub. However, due to his idiosyncrasies and paranoia, keeping a sub around has been impossible. Enter Dean, who’s not a very traditional submissive, to try his hand at subbing for the hermit.

Same, but I think it's mentioned that Cas is slightly older or plus 10+. Excellent.

Addicted to You

@ltleflrt

Dean is a Warlock. A very very drunk Warlock. Oh, and a horny Warlock.

Hey, he knows how to summon a succubus!

He should totally do that. Hell yeah! Guaranteed hot sex!

Except that spellcasting while drunk is a Very Bad Idea. He's just too drunk to remember that.

Because Castiel is a Incubus, like Casdean situation they are probably 2000+ years difference. Very nice smuty feels Cas has a trueform, *chef's kiss*😘

Caged Flowers

@cas-lost-grace

When a bad decision has Dean facing a considerable sentence in prison, he fears the worst. His life has never been easy, but at least he could be there for his brother and had some sense of freedom. The reality behind bars, in the confines of his own cell of all things, seems to be even worse than he ever imagined, as his cellmate is one of the scariest people he’s ever met. Even though the Russian mobster starts out by living up to the reputation that precedes him, soon, a not entirely fear-based tension forms between them. What starts as a risky fling that has to be kept in secret grows into something Dean never expected to find behind the bars.

Yes, here as I recall there's a 10+ age difference, Cas is also Russian here so Wonderful! 😊

Subterranean

By InvictaAnimi

Dean knows better than to stay late at work, his commute home is dangerous any time, but especially after dark.

There's no age difference, vbut what a wonderful long piece to read. One of the longest fics I read so far. It was a delightful experience very novelesque and beautifully written by giving Cas and Dean the usual character features we watched on the show. I'm glad for once I can read about Dean being the privileged one and having a proper functional and loving father. Cas is my idol here, because it's me in every sense of the words, I too have touch issues with the general public. Lots of smut and much feels. Gorgeous 🥰

Carry On

A classic. The author deleted her Ao3 profile, so it’s no longer there, but apparently she’s fine with people still reading it. Sub Dean! Sex worker Dean. Full on BDSM, the second longest fic I ever read. The link leads to my drive if you want to download it. Same amount of smut and feelings like the others. It was a delight specially the ending. 🙂

And of course...

Four Letter Word For Intercourse

@bendingsignpost

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

Kind of the last two, not a significant age difference, but I read it before the plague and I had to read it again this year. One of the best I enjoy to read more than once, when the suggestion river runs dry. 👍🏼

I must now apologize if the BDSM subject it's not on your alley. Honestly I just realized that there's a theme here 😅. (Aka. everyone knows my kinks now 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Hope you can enjoy them as I did.

[galvanizedfriend]

Happy birthday, Yokieee! I'm so ksgsjsujs right now! I was expecting your bday for so long and we are finally here. Last year was such a crazy year but joining this fandom and meeting you was truly a blessing. Thanks for being YYYYOOOKKKAAANNN when I'm excited, Yokie when I want to give u hugs, Yokmom when I have responsibilities or when I don't know a english world, bnf when you amazes us with your nonstoping talent and for always being so sweet when I come up with different and random nicknames!

Yokan, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Yoo-kan: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Yoo. Kan. Jsgsjshjshs (I had to, sorry not sorry) 👁👄👁

I don't think I deserve all the love and support you give me, but I'm such a lucky girl to have you as my patootie friend! I still remember the first time I messaged you on fanfiction.net and you were so unbelievably kind with me. Also remember the beginning days of the union when I was so shy. The woman I met back them terrified me, I was intrigued, but I never felt save, or myself really... and now look at us (*cough cough*) akgsjshs (I did feel myself but I'm just adding random kc quotes lol) And now I tell you to shut up everytime. Wow, lovely!

You are such a good writer and your edits are in whole other level, I will never get tired of saying it, but you are also such an amazing patootie friend!! And we are so grateful to have you and to count with you! 😭

I hope you have a great birthday and that you'll enjoy all the surprises we prepared for youu.

I love you 5!! 💖🎉💐

Beena! 💖🦕 My beautiful Sebasaurus!

I'm sorry I'm only getting to this right now. 💖 DID YOU JUST QUOTE LOLITA TO ME USING MY NAME? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 And the Klaroquote sdgashdgsahjgdadhs 😭😭😭😭

Friend, your message put tears in my eyes, for real. 🥺 I don't know what I did to end up with such amazing friends like you gorlies, but I feel so lucky and blessed right now. I was in my second lockdown birthday, haven't seen any of my RL friends in a year and yesterday could've been such a crappy day. Instead, I had you guys showering me with love every 15 minutes, making me laugh my ass off with your amazing memes and killing me with your beautiful gifsets and fanart (I WANT TO LIVE IN THE YOKAHONTAS MOODBOARD FOREVER AND EVER). I cannot thank you enough for that. 💖 You are too precious for this world and I love you so much!

You are such a bright light and I you never cease to amaze me with your immense talente, even though you're a baby! 😭 I adore you and you kill me when you use all of those nicknames (and also that emoji face, deaded 🤣).

Thank you so, so much Beena! I LOVE YOU FIVE! 💖💖💖

[kiyomie]

When you get this, you must publicly post something nice about at least 5 different people you follow, then copy and paste this in each of their ask boxes :^) [in case you've got more people you want to shower with compliments~]

ooh i recieved two more of these from @alice-chan-chan and @qvalcuno i'll be posting them all here~ (this'll be pretty long but ily all so endure)

@dicennio i think everyone knows how utterly talented this human being is (i always shower u with compliments in each of your edits❤) not to mention i love your sense of humor and overall just a really c o o l person

@eijunes woah cat your gifs are on another level seriously your fkbu gifsets (which ive seen but havent reblogged bc spoilers i havent watched them) the different colors you use in each of them BRO WOAH MY EYES BLESSED also ur a kind person our interactions were fun and cute i'd like to talk more in the future❤

@kagehjna oooh ilaydaa we dont talk often anymore but i really love your presence around my dash sm❤ i never forget how much of a fun and kind person you are thank you for leaving all those kind messages in the tags ugh my heart melts everytime

@haru-kaas anto!! i think you know already how much i love your content (if u didnt know well now u do🤩) and i love our interactions too, you're also one of the people here who just make this site way better

@kuroushi aahh omg i love your blog and holy shit your sense of humor😶 pls how could i live without your shitposts and memes and not to mention quality👌 edits in short tumblr won't be the same without u and wow are u so kind to talk to, looking forward to more interactions!!

@jaegerists siri!! i think you're one of the first mutuals i have on this site?? i remember thinking woah- they followed back😶 do know that i treasure your presence here on this site and also those lovely tags u leave on my stuff! all the love❤

@yokamis liiiaaaaa oMg i just love how damb sweet you are to me, your asks and replies (basically our past interactions) just melt my heart with how kind you are, you are also again another person i'm glad to have met on this site, thank u for existing you sweet person❤ i hope your doing amazing!!

@kurootetsuros audreeyyy!! yet again another person i'm blessed to have met here omg tumblr made me meet so many wonderful people including you, you've been so kind, supportive and fun through and through i would really love to talk and interact more with you and your talented self (hav all my luv❤❤❤❤)

@reddoriot tsuki!! AGAIN another sweet presence on my dash, you spread so much positivity how can anyone not love you😭 gosh ur talented too your art and gfx?? gimme sum of that talent🤲 you're simply just a lovely person your kind messages make really me smile🥺 (do know that ily too mwa❤)

@todoya k e l l y YOU are just- UGH im so bad at words but omg ily?? you took my heart already and are taking good care of it uwu everytime i rb my edits and leave those messages i cRI because how can one person be this sweet?? my fcking heart, also not to mention, you're so approachable?? what?? I feel so comfy in interacting and talking with u and that means a lot all the love always (watch mp when u have time pls)

@runwiththewind gabi!! ahhh i think we've only been mutuals recently and what?? i hate that sm, why have i only discovered your amazing blog recently?? your talent is i m m e n s e are you kidding?? I get even more in awe everytime i look at your edits, they're fucking superior period accept it, just...the work that goes into them...also thank you for hyping me up everytime i post my heart melts so much with how supportive you are❤ i'm looking forward to more interactions!!

@todorokih angell!! is an angel herself actually, we dont talk very often anymore but still i treasure all our interactions and you've always been the best in all those times, you're also talented af i hope you know how much i love the signature coloring you have on all your creations, all the love❤

@alice-chan-chan alice!! ofc i'll tag you here too you've seriously always been so kind and supportive always, i'll always never forget to mention how i love the cuteness and vibrance of your edits, your style is so distinctive wish you all the bests ❤

@qvalcuno aahh yes i'll tag you here too honestly i think you don't know how much i appreciate all the support/likes/reblogs, i really hope we get to interact more and ALSO if i remember correctly your blog (yourself) has a special place in my heart here bc you're the first person to ever send me an ask complimenting my small works and edits not too long ago❤ all the love as well

@villainii aaaahh we don’t interact much but do know that i also treasure your presence a lot <3 i really love seeing you and your blog around you are a kind and talented gfx maker i’d love to see more content from you!!!

@kioymi hey mika!! i would like to let you know that you're also one of those people who make my tumblr experience better, cute and sweet people like you never fail to shower positivity everywhere seeing you around my dash sure does brighten my day a little❤ your edits get better and better each time omg!!

@kikisdeliveryservices jill!! we haven't interacted much but im so thankful to know someone like you here, thank you for your kind words always, i never forget anything like that, and thank you again for sending in that ask when i recieved anon hate that one time, i really want to interact more with you your blog itself is just cute ghibli heaven (but im one of those uncultured swines who've only watched 2 ghibli films rip) but i love all your beautiful gifs and content❤

@ohreigen hey mary!! we dont talk much too but just know that bruh...i admire your edits with all my damn heart, to me before you were one of those big blogs whose creations look up to you always never fail to deliver quality content, keep making them pls everyone on this site (esp myself) need it!!

[castiel-kline]

can we talk about the scene where jack meets his grandparents??? please?? it breaks my heart everytime and your kline family gifset didn't help. please ramble, kitkat!!

First of all anon I think you must be psychic because watching that scene is what gave me the idea to make that post and I saved the gifs under “kline family gifset” while I was editing them. Just wild to me that you phrased it exactly the same 😂

But I would absolutely LOVE to talk about this, yes. 

Under a cut because if you specifically ask for rambles, you’re gonna get some rambling 💕

Let’s start by talking about why he went in the first place. He had to sneak out of the Bunker to do so, which he knew full well was dangerous and going to get him in trouble. When he comes back (and gets in trouble) he tells Cas that “it wasn’t a risk” which, hmm. But then he goes on to say, “I heard what you were saying, Cas, about finding out where I came from. I never knew my mother. I thought the next best thing might be for me to meet the only real family that I have left.” Presumably he’s referring to earlier in the episode when Cas told him that “the past, where you came from, that’s important. But it’s not as important as the future and where you’re going.” 

And to be honest I feel like Jack did take a pretty good message out of that. It’s just so sad to me that at this point he still thinks family is defined by blood (big ouch for Cas there too), and I think maybe that’s because even though he was born thinking Cas was his father, everybody (the boys, angels, demons, etc) told him no. Everyone was telling him that Lucifer is his father, Lucifer is his dad because Lucifer is in his DNA, and that’s just how it is. So despite his connection with Cas being stronger than Lucifer’s influence even before Jack was born, he was forcibly taught that none of that mattered by everyone’s constant worrying that he’d turn out to be evil (which… I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure evil isn’t genetic. So the whole thing is a little wild anyway). 

Now, I’m convinced that Jack has always fully loved and trusted Cas, but I think the nature v. nurture mindset -of, you know, everyone- complicated things a bit at the start. Fortunately, though, nobody could take away or undermine his connection with Kelly in a similar way because they ARE biologically related, so a lot of the time in season 13 I feel like Jack was basing his actions on whether or not Kelly would approve. If I’m remembering correctly, the whole reason he gave Lucifer a chance in the first place (besides his natural curiosity) was because Kelly told him in the video she left for him that no one would blame him if he went looking for Lucifer one day. He’s CONSTANTLY thinking about Kelly. He loves her so much.

So here we are in the beginning of season 14, and Jack has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing. He feels useless, and because of that he’s doubting what his place is (unfortunately this is a very Castiel thing to do). So, as usual, he looks to his mother for guidance. But since he can’t ask her directly, and Cas was the only other person who actually knew Kelly (I feel like Jack’s the type of kid to avoid “bothering” dad when he’s busy), Jack somehow found his grandparents. Logical conclusion, not even gonna lie.

I really wonder how he even did that. How did he find out about them? Did Cas know they were still around? Where do they live? How did Jack get there, since he couldn’t drive yet and he couldn’t fly at the time? I guess those things aren’t that important in the long run. But he gets there, and UGH does this scene break me inside.

The simple fact that he sought them out hurts me and melts my heart simultaneously, but just… 

The look on his face when he opens the door is too much for me. It’s like this mix of refined fear (probably of rejection) and this open wonder because this woman is his grandmother. And he knows he can’t tell her that. And then when he introduces himself and Jack Sr. comes over like “My name is Jack too!” all excited, and Jack’s expression switches from something sad to more of that wonder and he just goes “I know.” AHHHH. I think he’s probably very proud to have something that connects him to Kelly and Kelly’s direct family even further.

The entire scene definitely gave off visiting the grandparents vibes, though. Jack Sr. is just a kindly old man, and I’m pretty sure Grandma Kline (wiki says her name is Helen?) actually handed him a glass of lemonade. And this lil exchange KILLS me:

“How did you know our Kelly? Through work?”

“She… basically gave me my start.” BABY. I’M EMOTIONAL.

And then he goes for the photo album and he’s so damn happy to see pictures of Kelly. The only ones he has is the video and the picture on his nightstand, right? Whatever Cas can tell him about her (admittedly not much, because they were the sweetest of friends but they didn’t know each other that long) really isn’t going to compare to actually seeing the things that make her real.

AND THEN the real punch of the scene comes when Mrs. Kline asks him about Kelly’s pregnancy. You can tell he wants to tell them SO BAD, but he doesn’t. He just says “she had the baby,” with the purest smile on his face. And he tells them it’s a boy, and they get so excited about having a grandson and Jack’s just sitting there, unable to tell them that HE is their grandson. And it breaks my heart.

“In the time I spent with her, she was an amazing mother. Her son loves her very much.” 

Cue ugly sobbing, yeah? And he just… keeps going. He talks about what he remembers about her before he was born, and he’s smiling but his expression changes to looking like he’s about to cry when he says “she made him feel safe and wanted.” And that is just too much for me because I’m sure he feels safe with Cas, and obviously he’s wanted and loved there. But Cas isn’t Kelly and can never fill that space. And Jack has spent so much of his life feeling like he’s an unwanted burden, and he hasn't had a lot of real bonding time with Cas yet. And sure, his relationship with Sam was good at this point, but sadly I think Jack never really feels like he’s fully accepted there because he doubts his place. He doesn’t with Cas, and he’s going to get opportunities to build on that. He doesn’t have to doubt it with Kelly either, but the memory of that feeling is literally all he has. And all the times he worried he wasn’t enough before this point, I’m sure he was holding on to that memory with everything that he had.

AND THEN Mrs. Kline says that Jack looks like Kelly… and this child gets so emotional. I feel like he’s honored. But he pulls himself together and says “I don’t know, but I hope someday to have a little of her courage and purpose.” And that hits HARD for many reasons, but knowing that Jack is constantly struggling to feel useful? I’m sobbing and screaming now.

He gets up to leave looking like he’s about to break down crying, and he’s just going “I didn’t mean to intrude” (because this is a boy with manners!!!) but it’s his little “I just had to meet you” that gets me. And then he gets to shake his grandpa’s hand and hug his grandma and say he misses Kelly too. It’s SUCH a fantastic scene.

And I think it really did help him a lot, too. He confirms that it did when Cas directly asks him about in the midst of his scolding about sneaking out. And then Cas confirms that Jack looks like Kelly, which melts my poor heart even further. What Jack says to Cas there, about how he wanted to tell them that he was their grandson… it hurts. It all hurts, actually, but it’s kind of a good hurt because spn actually managed to treat Kelly and Jack’s relationship with the respect and gravitas that it deserves. And the scene with his grandparents and his scenes with Cas, both the one building up to it and the one after, are the highlights of this episode in my opinion. 

I was not expecting this to become a scene breakdown, but I hope you enjoyed my ramblings! I am always happy to cry over Jack and Kelly in an overly verbose way.

[gojosattoru]

When you get this, publicly post something nice about at least 5 different people you follow, then copy and paste this in each of their ask boxes :)

Mayyyy!! Thank you for sending this message as well hehe :D The more I receive the more people I can praise!! >//U//< It’s such a awesome idea seriously!! We need more love to everyone on this website!! So here goes!!

@karura Starting with you heheh my precious my love you are May!! We’ve been following each other for soooo long and while the years had passed our friendship blooms even more! It’s something that I’m so happy and proud of May, being friends with you means my whole life! It gives me so much excitement in my days, whenever I see you online I smile so much, like a cheshire cat!! hahah XD That’s how much you make me happy!! You’re such a awesome, sweet and funny person, what did I do to deserve you my darling!! *hugs you real tight* You’re simply beautiful, inside and out!! Always so hard working on your creations and they look even more beautiful each day and I’m really proud of that too, seeing you develop your skills everytime!! ^^ We share a lot and we have a lot of fun! It makes me heart melt each time whenever I think about it! You give me so much and hope that I give you the same ; U ; Ilysm and always happy to see you on my dash May!! Never forget that you are wonderful oki? Ily!! ❤❤❤

@kmuiyato​ Diana my dearest!! You are my ray of sunshine that I follow for so much time!! We’ve been mutuals since... 4 years!! (I went to see i cause I was really curious to know hahah XD) It’s so awesome seriously and I couldn’t be more happier and proud to have you with me still >U< You’re so sweet and kind to everyone and your graphics are so beautiful just like you!! ❤❤❤❤ All the time we’ve spent all those years and the fun we had will always be on my heart Diana :’) Hope your life is being nice to you and that you’re doing well!! *hugs* I really thank you for the friendship and for being so caring towards me all this time ; U ; Ilysm!! Keep blessing us with your beautiful light and with your graphics!!

@sajou-rihito Anna is awesome ok? She is simply awesome and cool, has a awesome blog and her gif skills are simply amazing!! I’ve been running a bnha fan blog with Anna for some time and I seriously couldn’t be more happy to be part with it with her and with the other members! You’re so organized and amazing Anna, I simply adore talking with you, whenever we do I really feel so enthusiastic because our conversations are always so diversified and interesting heheh :D Whenever I need something you are always there to rise me up and saying that you’re always open for a talk, you don’t know how much that means to me and makes me so happy!! It’s sueeeper delightful Anna! Thank you for being such a marvelous friend and hope we can have more time together in the future! We have been busy now with our lifes but I bet we will have great times again hehe :D Keep on doing your gifs!! They are really lovely and adore seeing them on my dash!! *hugs you real tight* Ilysm bby!! Stay well!! ❤❤❤~

@rubydragon16 Amina is another angel it came to us too! Another beautiful soul that appeared in my life, she is simply amazing in all ways! First, her gif skills are so brilliant, they always look so smooth, lovely and cute! All the warm colors, aestethic pallete really is her mark that I immediatly recognize it’s hers, it’s really really awesome Amina!! You have so much talent, you really have hon and the way you make them it’s always so original, I love the way you compose your gifsets :D It’s super unique please keep on doing a amazing job and work on those magic skills to delight us with your gifs!! It’s always so enjoyable whenever I see them!! *hugs* And each day I can see that you bloom your skills even further *W* it’s amazing!! Second, you are a beautiful person who is always eager to put a smile on everyone’s face with your words, actions and love! It means so much to us, cause with these hard times were going throught... having people like you to skine on our lifes really makes a huge difference!! And I thank you for everything you have made for me, I cherish everything we’ve shared together!! Ilysm Amina!!! Never change and keep on doing such a awesome work darling!! You’re marvelous!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤~

I’ve received more of these messages (it’s awesome cause I can talk about more people heheh they deserve to be mentioned as well ^^) and I will be going to answer them as soon as I can darlings :D Thank you very much for this!! *hugs*

[dicennio]

I‘ll compliment you instead even tho you might have heard it 472626 times. Absolutely gorgeous graphics everytime you post, nice & good vibes bringer & have such a calming yet (lowkey) chaotic presence 🤍

Sel woke up today and chose murder me, I see. Thank u, I die everytime I read these kind of nice words and those coming from you means the world.

But since you come here it's my turn. You are talented as fuck, good at everything literally. You want some nice gifsets? Sel. Rad graphics? Sel (I'm very envious of how good you're at using colors bc you make everything work and look nice no matter how sick the color is) + I need to talk about your art bc yeah you're good at everything but you're specifically good at drawing, every piece of yours leaves me feeling bet it good, nostalgic, sad. Your pieces resonates with one's soul and trust me, that isn't easy.

I need to add you're such a cool girl, we talk sporadically but it's always nice to have a lil chat with you bc we understand each other (or that's how I feel) i may go and scream for 5 minutes and you'll get it, long story short: I'm very glad to having met you (= 🤍