#and everyone lives and theyre just one big happy silly family

[thekingofspin]

When the found family is 2 psychopaths who are actually one psychopath and their tragic lover who is also their enemy and his grandchild who is also his student and the babysitter who trys to stop them from getting into trouble but sucks at his job.

[penaltyboxboxbox]

any genderbend headcanons you would like to share 👀????

YEAH....YEAH I DO....theyre all pretty random and non specific but if you want to hear me ramble about my girl drivers here u go

Charles: she's a non conventional fashion girlie...........she likes to dress quite femininely and and gets a lot of fashion based brand deals so she is often pairing skirts and such with her sportswear and it sometimes looks a bit silly. a lot of her fits are like...is it a fit or is she just really pretty and wearing designer lol. the skirt i drew her in is what I THINK would be her version of the quali pants, it's this knit skirt from gucci 💁‍♂️

Carlos: she is like two steps away from being a high bun lesbian. still keeps her FEM VIBES mostly because of family pressure. but the second she gets put in a dress its all a little . hm. youre a masc arent you.

Pierre: happy to be the paddock baddie like....she embraces it fully. she got a boob job and doesnt care if people know. constantly hints at being bisexual on instagram but will never confirm.

Esteban: the girl who had the most major glow up............and who has also had a bob her whole gd life. literally lives in a lulu jacket and yoga pants like its her uniform. she and pierre had the most toxic codependent girl friendship of all time. she's soooo so so tall and always got mad growing up because none of the boys liked her cause she was taller than them and got teased about it....still tall as fuck

Lance: my tall and beautiful wife...every few months she chops her bangs too short and everyone cries until they grow out again. she hates having hair in her eyes.... hates dresses and heels since she always sits with her legs out...gotta be comfy duh..

Fernando: milflonso............she was an it girl in her youth and then got divorced and came out as a lesbian and became an irresistible masc

George: the preppiest girl you can imagine she will never cut her hair AND she will wear a skort. extreme complex about being a tall girl.

Lewis: ultimate fashionista like she gets it....changes her hair a lot more than boy lewis....extremely in denial lesbian who dates the gayest men imaginable

Yuki: shes a hey mamas lesbian. she flirts so hard with pierre from like eye level with her huge boobs. kind of a fuckboy she swears she'll treat you rightttt come on babyyyy

Daniel: used to be such a hotgirl such a coolgirl like in her younger days she had long long hair and dressed sexy and was all about pushing this like....im a hot girl but im also so cool and just like the boys 😜 (she was overcompensating for something) but after she leaves redbull she like cuts off all her hair and slowly starts mascing the fuck out as she gets older.....now shes just straight up soft butch and everyone knows she kisses girls

Max: grew up forced to have the worst bowlcut in the world and never got to be very girly or anything so when she grew up she finally let her hair grow long and never cuts it. has barely any personal style and still cannot walk in heels tho.

Checo: arguably the one who cleans up the best like shes the one with the makeover montage everyone is so used to seeing her in red bull gear and a ponytail every damn day the second she puts on an outfit everyones like HELLO?????

Valtteri: used to be permanently in the low pony tail and attempting to dress acceptably business casual woman enough for things but after she left merc just embraced being a butch. has the same mullet as guy val. hallelujah

Guanyu: suuuuuch a fashion girl and absolutely rules instagram and weibo..........always doing photoshoots and stuff. experiments with cute hairstyles a lot, but always keeps her bangs ☝️

Alex: used to be super plain like wore big hoodies and just left her hair long and straight and hanging there until one day she got the chop+undercut going on.......now shes well aware shes everyones ideal boyfriend if he were a girlfriend.

Logan: my florida girl......my natural blonde with her little ponytail.....when she was growing up her parents definitely put her shirts like this

Lando: she is a racing driver as much as she is an influencer.............people discourse about if shes fanservicing like every 2 seconds. girl gamer and proud.

Oscar: she lives in gym clothes. nike pros or leggings every day with the most boring shirt. never does her hair or wears makeup

KMag: best mom everrrrrrr 🫶

Nico: she talks openly about how men are very intimidated by her. she is indeed kind of scary.

[hearts401]

Could you list all of your Au’s and what each acronym stands for

YEAHYEAHYEAH!!! I HOPE I GET EM ALL LMAO THIS GOES SOOOO FAR BACK

this includes aus without tags but i'll tag the ones that have tags lol

EAPS au. Evan afton's pizzeria simulator: evan survives the bite and goes on to be scooped, later reuniting with an alive and healthy michael in ffps. shenanigans ensue

N? au. Normal? Aftons au: The afton kids survive and evan and michael, along with a ton of other characters, have to work to stop william elizabeth and a mystery killer

normal aftons au: just ur run of the mill happy au. everyones normal and silly

mm au. Murder Mystery au: Afton kids live and liz calls them to solve the mystery of their father's disappearance while they uncover certain... concerning things

Pitdad au: william gets springlocked before he can kill any kids and becomes springbonnie early on. springbonnie also becomes sentient and the two of them have to mend the family william has neglected for so long

dysfunctionally functioning au: Nobody dies but the afton kids have to learn to deal with their abusive household dynamic (important note! the abbreviation for the fic of this au is gbwwwg and stands for getting by with what we've got.)

Wizard's Quest au: Springtrap and William team up in ucn to escape while its in a fantasy type landscape

Michael's robots au: William, Henry, and Michael build the robots together following the deaths of michaels siblings. however not only does william has a lot of dark secrets, mcihael is learning a whole lot about his robot friends (like how. yk. theyre possessed)

Swap au: Exactly what it sounds like. Elizabeth is michael, michael is the puppet, evan is circus baby, charlie and sammy are golden duo, and theres other thigns im not getting into rn

fnaf x tadc au: just the fnaf characters getting put in the digital circus world

fnaf x ut au: fnaf/undertale crossover but i changed so much its unrecognizable at some points

Werewolf will au: william is a werewolf adn kills people and manipulates his friends while keeping his kids hidden for evil nefarious reasons

Employee trio au: William drags vanessa and henry into killing people and everything goes to shit

kill ur dad au: Michael kills william and drags evan in to help him cover it up. unfortunately, william always comes back

Traveling circus au: the funtimes, as humans, run a circus and meet elizabeth who got lost when her father had a springlock accident. while htye take care of her, william gets help from a shady wizard and things dont go well

Fnaf theatre au: where the fnaf game characters are a highschool theatre class and end up making a huuuge broadway show that retells the fnaf movie

anthro au: everyones a furry and the aftons are searching for william who disappeared many years ago

Golden memories au: Evan and Cassidy fail to keep william in ucn and end up losing their memories of everything past being killed (which includes meeting each other officiall) and help cassie throughout ruin

this isnt rlly important but good ending tfc au: novel elizabeth goes home with charlie instead of dying and they become friends

scrap baby's pizzeria: scrap baby (not liz), lefty (charlie), and molten freddy run a pizzeria in ucn and have to watch william while cassidy is away on torture vacation

Foxymike au: Michael is a robot william built years ago. he looks like foxy and ev n liz dig him up and decide to adopt him as their new big brother while william has a more special, evil plan for him

Lizzie time travel au: Elizabeth travels back in time after fnaf 6 and has to fix everything

the immortal and the restless au: Evan survives the bite and both him and mike work to fix everything, but they dont meet again until fnaf 6. evan burns down fnaf 3, and mike still gets scooped and all.

Fredbear sb plush au: Evan follows greg around as a possessed discontinued golden freddy plushy and they become besties

glitched mike au: au where michael goes looking for his missing sister and gets wrapped up in the remains of glitchtrap, whos clawing his way back to life

Zombiegolf au: Michael works at the pizzaplex and is bestfriends with monty and theres other lore but william is glitchtrap, evan and liz r there, and gregory is there lolz

Zombie apocolypse au: William accidently makes a zombie virus and everything goes to shit while his kids search for him and he finds his ex wife again

time travel crack au: Michael goes back in time but hes like. nine. and hes pissed as fuck and is trying to kill his dad wiht cassidy

fnaf wcm au: Ellis goes to the pizzaplex and meets the ghosts of the people who died there (most notably tony, gregory, and cassie) but somethings wrong. gregorys still alive...

Monster Island au: (the fic for this is deep end!) au where the animatronics are giant monsters on an island where a bunch of kids get stranded (afton kids, mci kids, sb kids, ect)

mer cbby au: circus baby is a mermaid that michael befriends (not liz!!!)

Michaels plush shop: michaels family gets cursed as plushies and he realizes any plushy he makes comes to life so he just has a funny little plushy family

flashlight frights au: flashlight duo are springbon and golden freddy and they r besties while william runs fazbear frights and jeremy, michael, and vanessa are security guards there

fredbears pizza mania au: glitchtrap remakes the afton family in a video game and they become sentient

little nightmares au: au based on the LN games. full of angst and horror adn afton brothers

Cityscape au: Au where its all futuristic shenanigans centered around glitchtrap vanny and the sb kids

afton house of horrors au: au where the afton kids meet the very kind hearted robots fredbear, springbonnie, circus baby, and ennard. unfortunately for htem, williams testing his nightmare gas in that house

ucn mike au: post fnaf 4 mike gets stuck in ucn bc cassidy fucked up the timeline and hes stuck with william

warrior cats au: jsut fnaf retold with kitties

Elliz sb protag au: Ellis is the sb protagonist and befriends monty

Williams apprentice au: Elizabeth lives and becomes williams helper

Williams successor au: an au based on a post by @/puhpandas (go follow him!!!! NEOW!!!) where william tries to make evan his successor and evan flips him the bird

Afton family business au: a murder family au catered to me

the sun sets in utah au: Elizabeth, grown by now, returns home after college to find both it and the people in it have changed so much. Especially her family

Glamrock baby au: Elizabeth in the pizzaplex what will she do

marionette emily au: charlie is accidently killed possesses the puppet. henry takes her as his daughter still. what could go wrong? (a lot)

the puppet and the carver: Charlie is trying to get her father to move on, but he has work to do. So much work. A lot of charlie and henry angst n stuff

summer camp au: Michael dies and is a ghost and his family + cassidy investigate

those are the ones of note i can think offff they dont all have tags like i said. I'll link this on my pinned post btw so anyone can find it

[babysizedfics]

hihi im back with another ask i send a lot of these now huh. anyway!! what would they all dress up as for halloween/how do they celebrate halloween when vee and ro are little compared to when they are big? do nana janus and chaotic cousin remus also join in? im super excited 'cause its halloween now and also i remembered my second ask from last night so m gonna send that now! 🐝

bee anon i know its been literal weeks since you sent this but i have been thinking about it loads and rlly hope that its worth the wait!!

i think this might be my longest headcanon post yet!

Halloween headcanon for the family

the timeline of labd took place in summer of this year so this halloween is their first one as a little family! patton was eager to suggest to the others that they make it a family halloween party where both boys are little and they can have some more childish fun!

virgil is nervous about it, he really loves halloween but he is easily frightened by horror and jumpscares and its a lot worse when hes regressed. and even though he trusts his family a ton hes worried they'll accidentally put on a scary movie or have spooky decorations that will scare baby him, so he's worried he will ruin the party by being a crybaby

however patton and roman are both so so so excited about having a child friendly halloween party and logan has been researching family halloween activities that are toddler friendly and vee is also a bit excited despite his anxiety so they all agree to it !!

costumes:

originally they all wanted to have a family group costume theme!! but roman and vee's interests are so different when they're little

whatever roman suggested was either too scary or it was from a show that was too old for baby vee

and any of pattons suggestions that baby vee liked roman complained of them being too babyish or simple

so instead they decide each little will go as a matching costume with one of the CGs! so everyone gets to match with someone and the littles arent upset

Logan and Vee go as rilakkuma (big brown bear) and korilakkuma (littol white bear) respectively

their costumes are basically just onesies they got from online, just standard onesie but with bear tail and bear ears on the hood and the tummy patch!

As a surprise though roman sews vee a pair of matching mittens for his costume! theyre fluffy on the inside and theyre white and have pink toe beans sewed on!! so they're like paws! and roman made them detachable so vee can have them attached to the onesie but can also wear the mittens without it

SIDE NOTE: this concept post is about how vee loves the mittens so much he starts wearing them a lot of the time when he's lil!

Roman and Patton go as Kuzco and Pacha

roman makes both of their costumes from scratch!! even fake jewellery for kuzco!! he's REALLY proud of himself and so is everyone else!!

quick link to the posts for what their pumpkins look like and the shenanigans that ensued when they carved them!

During the set-up:

during the day patton and roman bake sugar cookies! and roman does a great job decorating them like pumpkins and black cats! theyre really cute baby friendly designs

meanwhile logan and baby vee decorate the house! logan sticks up paper pumpkin faces and bats while vee sits on the floor in a little play area rattling his giraffe rattle and logan is like talking to him "where should i put this pumpkin sweetheart?" and vee just babbles cluelessly and sucks the ear of the giraffe and logan is like "what a marvellous idea" and hangs the pumpkin exactly where he planned

also they make tissue ghosts!

basically vee's job is to scrunch up a tissue into a ball! so logan gives him a tissue and shows him how to scrunch it and vee does a littol scrunch and giggles and logan takes it (scrunches it a bit more into a ball) and covers it in another tissue and rubber band! then he asks the baby if this ghost should be happy or sad (vee ALWAYS says happy) and logan draws happy little face on it!

when they have enough logan hangs them from the ceiling fan!! and he turns the fan on slow and the ghosts float around slowly and he goes 'vee look at that!'

and baby vee on the carpet is staring at them and then he whines and holds his arms up to mama - he wants to be picked up

lo was concerned that baby found the ghosts scary but!! vee giggles and reaches up to the ghosts and he bats them! like a little kitten! he loves it because its like a baby mobile!!

During the actual party:

lots of fun! logan cut out pumpkin shapes out of orange craft paper earlier and the boys get to draw faces on them!! and then they get blu tacked up on the walls!

and they nibble their cookies of course! very nummy well done roman and patton

but while ro is busy drawing and while vee is busy suckling his cookie and cuddling papa lo sneaks off to set up the main event...

trick or treat scavenger hunt:

there are bags of candy and little party favours (like little badges and bubbles and stuff) hidden around the house!

patton suddenly pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket and gasps! then he announces that the boys got an invitation to go trick or treating around the house by some special guests! at this vee gets a bit nervous and buries his face in papa's shoulder but patton rocks him and roman is really excited!!

so patton hands the invitation to roman and its a riddle! roman has to figure out which room the riddle wants them to go to! roman is a very clever little boy, just ask his mom and dad, so he figures it out and leads them to the dining room! roman runs ahead and paatton carries baby vee on his hip

and in the dining room is logan - but he's not really supposed to be logan - he is still wearing his bear onesie but also now is wearing a big black blanket around his shoulders (its meant to be a cape) and has those really cheap uncomfortable plastic vampire fangs

'welcah to i cashel' he lisps

roman giggles because its very silly and he LOVES silly, especially mom being silly

but baby vee grips his papa tighter. he doesnt know why mama is talking weird or why his mouth looks different and pointy but it scares him and he starts whimpering

papa bounces him a little and whispers that its just mama being silly

logan hates to see ve scared of him so he tries to rectify it 'ish ohay bee ish okay wook ish mama!'

vee looks over because papa and his brother are giggling so it cant be that scary right?

but as logan tries to talk again the teeth fall straight out his mouth with a trail of drool and roman bursts out laughing and so does patton and so baby starts giggling too!! because its just mama!

anyway the game is to convince the vampire to let you have his candy. the vampire says he will only give them the treats if they can name all of the characters in peppa pig

and they do it!! vee immediately bounces and squeaks 'pepepepepa!' and then roman names mummy pig and daddy pig and george and then they get treats AND another riddle!

logan sprints out of the room to shove the next costume on and get to the next room

then roman takes them to the laundry room where the wolf man (logan with dog ears made of socks) will only give them bubbles and the next riddle if they both pet his head VERY softly!

and then they find a mummy in the kitchen and have to unwrap him! roman tears off the toilet paper from logans body and hands it to vee and vee scrunches it up like he did earlier and holds a little bit to his chest and decides its his now - the mummy gives them more candy and another riddle!

the hunt goes on until they find mama in the living room lying on the couch - and he's asleep! (he's not really)

theres a note on his chest that says that mama is under a spell!! and he can only be waken up by a kisses from all his family!! roman giggles and goes first and kisses logans cheek really loudly and sloppy and logan winces in his "sleep" at the wetnes on his cheek and roman thinks its funny

vee is really nervous that mama is under a spell :( so papa says he will show vee how to wake mama up. and patton leans down to kiss logan - logan's eyes open when he's just above him and leans up to meet him in a quick soft kiss on the lips

then its baby vee's turn and he wriggles in papa's arms so patton puts him down onto logan's lap on the couch and vee does his signature baby kiss - he leans forward, gently presses his forehead against his mamas and whispers 'mwah' behind his paci!

and then logan wakes up and says 'oh you saved me!!' and wraps a smiley baby vee in a very tight cuddle!

and when logan gets up he says he is SO grateful to his boys for saving him that he's gonna give them presents!!

For being so creative and clever by solving all the riddles and finding ways to trick the monsters into giving them treats, roman gets a rainbow etch a sketch!

and for being such a brave baby and for being so gentle with the monsters and with mama, little vee gets a squishmallow bat who will always protect him and give him cuddles!

the rest of the night is pretty much jsut roman being really excited and proud of how well he did in leadinf his family to victory and he draws all of the events that happened on his new etch a sketch!

and baby vee is just so relieved that mama is back that he doesnt leave mama's lap and snuggles with his new squishy friend al evening! he falls aslee pretty quickly because it was a busy day for just a little baby!!

the end :3

[skyphile]

prime numbers! ((emberoops))

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

THIS IS SO SAD BUT NO...... he would DIE for a sibling, and his parents dont have siblings either so he doesnt even have cousins,,, he longs for that kind of relationship so much??

he ended up projecting being a big brother to many people over the course of his life instead, and it embarrasses him so much when he notices it happening, it makes him feel so silly

i would say the biggest tugs of that kind of dynamic rn are maybe with colin especially with all the dumb fake animosity, while adrien is almost a legit Parental/mother hen feeling of being protective of him

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

ive talked about this a bit before, but graham was the product of an arranged marriage. his grandfather made his dad marry a woman from a prestigious family so they could keep their popularity and prestige and important connections themselves, especially as immigrants in a very racist country

his parents ended up caring deeply for one another, but not in a romantic way, and his mother was extremely depressed and anxious throughout her pregnancy, and after graham was born. she was nearly suicidal and grahams grandfather was only making things worse, so it was grahams dad who basically. decided to say fuck it to his father, bring grahams mother somewhere safe, give her all the money and resources and protection she needed to get better and pursue her own life, and he was super attached to baby graham and wanted to raise him all by himself

this early turmoil traumatized graham and when he grew up it was something that made him feel othered in relation to his peers, in addition to his race, his culture, his budding gender identity and sexual & romantic orientations. it made him feel deeply unloveable, broken, and incapable of love himself, it was one of the things that made him grow up very wary of the concept of marriage, and it took a lot of vulnerability, respect and genuine care and hard work between him and his dad to understand that the circumstances of his birth were not his fault, and that this was the best solution for everyone to be able to experience their love for each other the best way possible

graham has met her several times, writes to her regularly, and he treats her like a dear friend rather than a parent. hes happy for her, her art degrees, her girlfriend, and in turn shes expressed a lot of pride and joy in getting to meet this boy she helped bring to the world

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

graham loves his dad to fucking pieces

hes such a humble, emotionally intelligent and caring man, who from early on caught onto all the outdated and damaging aspects of the traditions of his family and fought against it time after time after time

he is completely different from his own father, who had very specific plans for him, and he just foiled them all!

with grahams birth, he did the best he could raising him by himself, thwarting his fathers enduring influence, and making sure this kid had all the tools to be true to himself and follow his heart no matter what. he isnt perfect and of course he made many mistakes, but he is always humble enough to admit when hes wrong, apologize to his child, communicate his feelings and figure out solutions together. graham has always had an amazing role model in him

the circumstances of grahams disappearance and then return after the trials of his own jumanji esque adventure are still difficult for him to understand, but he still believed graham, and he was the biggest force in bringing his son back from his damaging self isolation and motivate him to cook, to live, to carry on

he still remains ever supporting and adoring of his child, adoring of his new child in law, and just an all around amazing dude

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

what pockets....

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

if theyre not horror movie or game induced, then theyre related to his period of isolation, to being trapped in an endlessly dark, silent, quiet cold place

he may see himself as he was when that happened too, close to starvation, hollow and alone

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

during the time they were in their own jumanji esque adventure, completely by himself, unaided, trapped in some reality away from his own so he could put it together and slowly solve this lock puzzle until he got to come home again

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

hes usually ok with handling himself with crises, even when theres a lot of blood

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

bunnies! lots of sweet stuffies, including rabbits, pokemon and marine creatures

his gameboy and his tamagotchi too

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

i would say his biiiiiiig repulsion/aversion to dating culture in general? this is related to his family history but is also a big consequence of his aromanticism

he has huge trouble understanding all the rituals of people jumping into commitments and weird expectations and fleeting obsessions when most of the time they dont even have a solid foundation of time, vulnerability and trust to even call themselves a good friendship, especially in people who he sees jump into the same pitfalls over and over?

ultimately he understands that his own circumstances are important differences in how people shape their relationships, but it still makes him extremely secondhand anxious, especially because in his experience as an observer rushed things and pushed expectations make for very volatile and intense disappointments that end up hurting him a lot too, and hes kinda very tired of that

nonetheless, this has made him grow distant of friends in the past, and while he regrets some of it and wishes it was easier to compromise and be more comfortable about it, he also knows that he was right about many situations and ultimately it was a better idea not to get involved and trust his gut

What does your character dislike in other people?

nonsensical violence, general assholery, unwillingness to listen, lack of consideration for others, being treated as someone useful for stuff he knows or tools he has or things he can give and then being discarded, he also feels very peeved when people sexualize him when hes talked about his nudity before and how it relates with growing comfort with his self image

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

i would say so, yes!! working on video games, pro cuddling and cooking for others are definitely pinnacles of things hes always thought would bring others joy

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

home... close to kes, taking a deep breath in their little home, with their little family, and feeling wholly, intrinsically belonging...

similar locations are for example when his dad throws a party and graham gets to invite all his best friends and everyone just has a lovely time laughing and eating together. game streams are a similar venture too!!

but at the end of the day, coming home, kicking off shoes and clothes, snuggling up to his starlight and their babies? pure bliss

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

i still dont understand what this means,,,,

he does not have honor OR status SOBS

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

oh it is a constant cycle of tremendous happiness and having to pinch himself bc hes so scared hes still in the silent cold dark alone... hes always trying to do better to keep earning this. hes a bit better about it now, he understand ppl are here bc they want to, but yknow. brain trauma still does things sometimes.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

nope! but his dad moods are soooo big now. he just wants to protect kids and be a good influence...

[pact-ideas]

 Your home is the beautiful hidden city of Leira a haven for the wood elves to hide away from the cruelty of the outside world, each house was made from the wood of a different tree and the city was warded away from the rest of the world by a magical forest that never let anyone through its majestic depths, life in Leira was peaceful as it had been for a thousand years

you fucking hate it

ok maybe not the peace, the peace was nice everyone can agree that peace was if a little boring generally a good thing but.... well.... ok first of all that magical forest thing works two way no one can leave. ever. this didnt stop you trying when you were little you used to take off into the forest determined to see what was at the other side but no matter how hard you tried or how you navigated or how long you were walking or anything you always ended up back in Leira it was always the same you would end up right back at home and your mother would brush the twigs out of your hair and say how “silly” you were to get lost in the forest it made you indescribably angry but you didnt even understand why

growing up in this place was a nightmare, Leira was created by melora the goddess of nature so as you can imagine the culture of leira was pretty heavily dedicated to sucking her metaphysical dick, everyone’s a vegetarian and natures roams free throughout the city which is nice and all but when your late for school and you get stuck behind a 20 ton bear it easy to loose your fucking patience and it not like you want to kill an animal or anything but your desperately curious to know what meat tastes like. one night there was a big wild fire and a bunch of birds got roasted in the flames and yeah it was sad and all that but my god the SMELL! it was amazing and theres no way you can ever get any kind of meat since theres no privacy anywhere in the god damn city, you live with your family and streets are ALWAYS busy with people and even in the rare moment when theres no other elves around theres always some kind of nature around and since most of the elves if the city can speak to animals your pretty sure if you did anything too sacrilegious it would be reported before you could say “barbecue”. and the people ugh the FUCKING PEOPLE you mother keeps nagging you and telling you off for regecting all your sutiors but in fairness your not really regecting 8 or 9 suitors your regecting one because EVERYONE HERE IS THE FUCKING SAME THEYVE GOT LONG FLOWING HAIR THEYRE SLIM AND DELICATE LOOKING THEY WRITE POTRY ABOUT NATURE AND THEY PROBABLY PLAY THE FUCKING PAN FLUTE.

ok what the fuck is up with pan flutes theyre anoying to play and they dont even sound good why cant we just bang some fucking sticks together and make some real noise!

and the worst thing about it is that everyone you have ever met god damn loves it here if you go to a town elder to ask about if people can get through the forest he just pats you on the head and says some shit like “dont worry little one no outsiders will ever get in” and you have to fight back the urge to scream beacause NO LORENCE YOU DONT GET IT but you just nod and smile because if you say anything than you get branded as even more of a fucking outsider than when you decided to tie up your hair for the first time.I mean by the GODS what is wrong with tying up your hair? ugh you know whats wrong with it in Leria elves belive that hair should flow out beautifuly and naturally its common for full adults to have hair that reaches the floor and some elders employ neighbourhood kids to pick up their hair after them when they walk so it doesn't trail behind them on the ground but whoever decided that elvish hair was contantly elegant never seemed to be able to get your hair to obey. your hair constantly got caught on buttons and jackets and even door handles! your hair is only down to your waist and its already the biggest nuisance in your life you cant imagine it reaching the floor and always getting stepped on so one day you had had enough, you got some twine and tied up your hair you thought it looked pretty good but when your mother saw it for the first time my god it was like you were dying she asked what was wrong if you needed some kind of help and after she hear that your hair was getting in the way she decided to spend three hour THREE FUCKING HOURS brushing it which is not only fucking painfull but its the kind of stupid bullshit you were trying to avoid when you tied it up in the fucking first place. eventually people got a little more used to you tying up your hair there was always a limit there was always a “oh honey grannies coming round for dinner so dont you think you should take down your hair?” and its like ..... why? but becuase theyre your family you dont question it and let your hair down but secretly you think that maybe granny wouldnt mind it if you could eat without accidentally getting stray hairs in your mouth every....single...time you took a bite to eat.

buuuuuut theres some hope theres a legend of a warrior with a great connection to nature who must leave the safty of the city and defeat a great evil in the outside world and your determined that that person will be you you got to the libary at noght and read books on the outside world and FUCK it sounds so fucking interesting so different  so god damn DIFFERENT you read about beings who live between dimensions and every single member of there race is completly different to each other every single one is entirly unique some are good some are evil some have physical forms some are made of gas and some of them are just a mad pile of limbs I mean can you imagine? the very idea of beings like that sets you mind ablaze and your determined to meet one but the fucking problem with that is the the legendary hero is suppose to be able to connect with nature and you... struggle with that. you call out to the trees to obey your commands you try to connect with the animals and you appeal to the elements but nothing ever works its so fucking frustrating this is your only chance of leaving the city and you can even begin to make progress everyone in the city at least has SOME connection to nature there are toddlers that can make flowers bloom and you cant even bend a branch. everyone teacher youve ever had tells you not to give up and to keep trying and that you just need to look deep down withing yourslef and find the connection you dont know is there but that just bullshit the reason you can connect with the trees is because deep down you dont WANT to connect with the trees you know it and the trees know it why cant anyone see?everyone in the world from your teacher to your parents tyo the town elders to the fucking animals seemed to think that your just one attitude adjustment away from being a perfect happy elf “keep trying” they say “you’ll get it eventually” all your fucking life youve been hearing that but you know what? you dont want to be a perfect elf with long hair and a dozy smile you dont want to be the hero who connects with nature and is celebrated as the perfect figure you dont want to be here anymore! you want to eat meat and wear clothes that dont make me look like a plant obsessed ballet dancer and fight people with your bare hands and play the drums and do whatever you want with my hair and be FUCKING FREE

you sneak into the library the books your looking for is old and worn but within it is the ritual that you need. The great one Uthuctarr is surprised to be contacted by an elf but you get along like a house on fire. soon the terms of the pact are agreed you have the pentagram scrawled onto the library floor in chalk all you need to seal the pact is a part of your self, most people use blood but you have a better idea, you take out the dagger you stole, its carved out of bone it was used by ancient elves to hunt in the days when the world was new, functionally the bone dagger is everything the elves of Leira stand against but they couldnt destroy it without discrediting their precious history. its perfect, you undo the twine holding your hair and let the blond mass fall forward over your face. with your left and you grab a clump of long blond hair near the base and with your right you take the blunt bone dagger and cut. you hand is not steady and your hair is thick but that doesnt stop you and soon a huge chunk of blond mess falls away into the centre of the pentagram. you pause for a moment thinking about what youve just dont and you realise you can feel the night hair against your ears and in all you life youve never felt anything more divine you begin to laugh, truly laugh. not at a joke or out of politeness but out of pure unfiltered joy. quickly you grab another clump and get back to work. after a few more minutes of frenzied cutting your finally free of you long messy STUPID hair, you gather the hair into the centre of the pentagram and step back. suddenly all on its own the hair bursts into dark blue flames, the small is awful, you love it, from the fire a tiny thread of blue flame pushes out of the flame and begins to weave its way out of the library though the city and into the forest the locals are mystified but you know whats happening after all these years you are finally being shown the path out of Leira.

[vicsep7250]

@ren-amamiyaa and their (he/she?) Golden Heist, Thief Nanako and Cryptid Chaser aus flooded my brain and now Im making this post bc I cant fit all of this in asks!!!

All right, so, idea. Cryptid Chasers, Thief Nanako and Golden Heist are all connected righr???

CC acts as a prequel, TN becomes the inbetween starring Nanako and Akechi, and GH stars a broken and older IT and slightly jaded PT.

So far CC has Yosuke and Naoto forming the brotp that fanon wanted through silly Saturday Night Ghost Chasers Shenanigans, Akiren is bein' a lil shit at midnight bc he needs an outlet and exercise to Phantom Thief. While this goes on, Akechi's ghost/spirit/rement/heart/whatever pulls pranks and shenans along with Joker (hiwever that happens).

As the Cryptid Chasers keep going out of their way to confront Joker about Arsene (bc even he likes to mess around) the other IT in Inaba start to try and stop them from disrupting the peace (read : harassing a known criminal) and this somehow leads to a falling out. Mayhaps Naoto and Yosuke break a few laws and Chie busts them, Kanji wants to know why theyre stalking his student/protege, and Yukiko just wants to keep the rumors about the inn in check bc jfc Yosuke STOP SCREECHING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN THE LOBBY THERE IS NO GHOST ON THE TV!

Maybe eventually they call it quits or dont bc Naoto dug this hole too deep to climb out themself and Yosuke is having the time of his life since Partner isnt around and hasn't come back to visit yet (Not sayin' souyo is canon and there but-). And the Cryptid Chasers arc probably ends here with there being some animosity towards their shenanigans , but the IT are all still friends.

Now fast forward to like, uhhh (*flings dart at wall of calendars*) 2014 during winter and Akiren's cryptid acts are now fully accepted and maybe exposed, who knows. Nanako is like 10 ~ 12 (P5 is maybe three/five years post P4 I believe) and is just going through the motions of public education. I.E. go to class, do work, get good grades. Dojima is still the same as he was before Yu came but is at least doing better at being a dad, not much but better. Yosuke and Ted aren't around as much bc Junes, Chie is transferred to Tokyo, Yukiko is busy managing the Inn, and Kanji is busy with work (as a teacher and crafts business owner). Rise unfortunately cant come visit and Big Bro now visits every other year.

Nanako starts to look back and wonder how things started to fall apart amongst the group and recalls that "delinquent" who came back at the same time the Cryptid^tm showed up and ruined the group. So now she starts to remember the good times when Big Bro came by and starts to notice some blanks around winter... Why was she in the hospital when she got kidnapled? Why does she remember these weird flashes of Big Bro and his friends and some monster?? And how come she tried to ask them anything about it they brushed her off each time???

The TV in her room flashes and soon she starts hearing things. She starts to move closer to the tv, as if she was in some sort of trance, as the sounds start to become voices to her. When she's directly infront of the screen she sees something... someone on it...

Nanako doesnt show up for breakast, or to school, and nobody seems to have seen her.

A full year passes on after that day. It starts off with a big search party of the IT and Social Links for the first two months, then after ankther three something stange happens... are people forgetting that Nanako existed or something? Everybody's starting to act like completely different peoplw than who they are too, some even end up hospitalozed due to severe headaches and such, and start claiming that Nanako was never around when she vanished or that she left Inaba or was already deamed dead or missing. This rings alarms in the IT's mimds as they search for answers, eventually all fully reuniting for the first time in years/months.

Naoto and Yosuke blame themselves bc they piece together her disappearance with the Cryptid + Ghost case and immediately get scolded for trying to pin their stupid kids game on a missing person's case - especially now with Nanako missing and possibly in danger again! Afterwards the IT are a bit on edge and a bit broken with the whole thing. Meanwhile Akechi can hear the tale ends of "missing person" and "literal disappearnace" and starts looking into this weird limbo metaverse he's in bc some shit is kinda fucked in here now for some reason. They're pretty much only together as a team to rescue Nanako.

GH in the PTs POV starts when Akiren invites the group to the Amagi Inn thanks to licrative money grin- I mean training. He comes clean into having seen something weird on the tv one late night and wants to let the gang know.

Midnight rolls around and Akechi shows up on the screen and the Thieves losing their shit is an understatement - numerous noise complaints were filed that night. Anyways Akechi decides to just play the role of "hey moron, some shits fucked come help fix it" and ends up informing them of a missing girl and this weird TV Mementos world he is in.

I would like to note that Akechi is not at all bitter or confused at everyone's circumstances in life, no of course not Joker stop crying I know its been a while but shutup theres a kid in trouble rn and youre the only ones who can possibly help her.

When the PT figure out a plan to reach this other world Goro is in (Arsene : THOUARTTHEESTICKYOURHANDINTHETVDOITDOITDOITDOIT) the IT eventually come to the very sad conclusion that Nanako moght be in the TV world and that opens a whole can of worms and burnable bridges to cross.

While in the TV world, I'd like to imagine that due to Akechi having been there for a good while it has been shaped to reflect his heart and be the new overall theme of that world. It all still looks like Inaba, but it all holds themes to Akechi and his no good terrible life. However due to Nanako having been in that world as a kid, and now for an uncertain amount of time, the world now holds motifs to the Heaven area from P4, but it's all sorta ruined and kinda darker.

When both teams get together and enter the weird Tele-Mentos world (IT in a Junes storage and PT at either Ren's pad [bc he moved out obvi] (OR bith teams enter from seperate TVs at the Inn so SHENANS!)) Yu and the IT go through Akechi's influenced world/TV Palace, finding out about his tragic backstory and involvement with the PT, but anything that can and could reveal their true identities is blurred and staticy or missing bc Akechi aint gonna snitch out who ruined his sperm donors life (also I guess saved the world too yeah). While going through the Palace the Team starts to think that finding Goro will just be an "if it happens" sort of deal bc he's been missing for years already, what if we just leave him here bc M U R D E R E R.

Cue a sudden appearance by someone in some sort of fallen angel garb who starts whipping out a full on Metal Gear Villain monologue about how hypocritical the IT are when they find the truth about Akechi's life and disappearance - they claimed to want to live in a world where no one hides in the fig, was that all a lie? Are they going back on their word, and hiding behind a shriud of lies and falsehoods once more? "You've gone and lied and hidden the truth already, what's to say you won't continue?"

Meanwhile Akiren and the Thieves enter at the very top of the Heaven TV Set and have to climb all the way down. As they do so they start seeing little murals or epitaphs about memories and people in this girls life. They see all of these memories of a happy girl who had such a loving family - both found and by blood. As they go further and further down the ruins start to look like an actual Heaven, and the scenary becomes more bright and colorful. Eventually they might run into Crow in his Black Mask clothes and give the bastard a slug on the arm and a group hug or two, bc man he doesn't deserve to suffer anymore like this.

Now that the Phantom Thieves have been reunited (Akechi : I can't leave this world The PT : FUCK, MORE PLOT) they end up thinking up ways to get Akechi out until this weird angel priest looking dude shows up and starts babling about how they are criminals and how they've done more bad than good and blah blah blah. Everyone is just all "We're the good guys, we do the right thing even if its morally grey/ambiguous!" and oh look! Another crazed maniac wants to kill us for our "injustice" *Crow has the decency to look away and not say anything* annnnnnd Heaven is locked off. Perfect.

Now maybe the Phantom Thieves and Investigation Team run into each other somewhere in Akechi's Palace and "You have Personas?!?!" "The hell is a Palace?" "YOU'RE THE CRYPTID OF INABA!!?!?" "And Im the 'Ghost' that follows him." "Wait you followed me as a ghost?" "WAIT WHY ARE THERE TWO AKECHIS??!??!!"

Oh yeah, Shadows... Akechi is still kinda in denial about the whole friends and justice thing...

And now the Dark Priest is back great ("Good name Skull" "Well I've got my moments right?").

Annnnnnnd now I have no idea what happens next and Im all burned out but AAAAAAAAA this entire AU crossover thing is so GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!

[andmynewlymeltedheart]

Have a hodge podge of questions cuz I couldn't pick just one haha (but you don't have to answer all of them!): What's your favorite taz balance moment? Amnesty moment? Top 5 ships (from anything!). If you could have any job in the world, what would you do?

Giving you five moments from the Balance arc bc I’m cry I love it so much (they’re not even top 5 they’re just ones I’m thinking about right now I HAVE NO FAVORITES I LOVE IT ALL)

BIG SPOILERS Y’ALL FOR TAZ, VERONICA MARS, A BUNCH O SHIT IDK

5. Barry Returns

STURDY. DENIM. BLUE. FUCK ME RUNNING.

No really tho the first time I heard that I was running on the treadmill and all of my surpressed weird girl energy from when I was 10 and didn’t want to get bullied JUMPED out and I screamed. I also turned up my speed very high.

4. The Lunar Interlude Music

I know it’s not a specific moment but every time it comes on I feel instantly at peace.

3. Taako and Kravitz’s pottery class at the ole Chug and Squeeze

Okay first of all Justin said “Chug and Squeeze” and I nearly pissed myself but like. That. Taako making a vase bc he could give a shit what they want him to make bc HE WILL NOT CHAIN HIS MUSE. The spell charging out of the umbrastaff (MY LOVELY GAL). These two fucking idiots falling in love with each other after like 20 minutes of knowing each other and all of us being like FUCK YEAH THEYRE IN LOVE

2. Barry and Lup’s duet

Their love. The way it builds over a half century. How in tune with each other they are, how much they understand each other and trust each other and challenge each other. And how they stay so PASSIONATELY in love after about fifty years. They are what I hope for some day.

1. Magnus and the Chalice/ Magnus’ Death

Magnus sees Julia after her death twice. The first time, with the chalice, is gut wrenching. This person that our sweet goofy and loveable Magnus loved with more of himself than should have been possible stands before him, just out of reach, and the opportunity to save her presents itself to him. And he doesn’t take it. Because even though his life has been hard without her, she wouldn’t want him to bring her back. And that’s why his ending is so beautiful. Major character deaths are often used to motivate a living character, to take something dear from them, or to cheaply tie up things because a writer doesn’t want to take the time to give the proper ending (ahem VMARS). But Magnus’ death is filled with love and happiness from a long and full life that he never expected to live out. There was a period of time where a lot of his risky behaviors could be called suicidal, and the fact that he not only lives but lives happily is so good. And he passes happily, too. And he’s taken to the love of his life, she’s the first person he sees. And I was crying throughout the whole scene, but as soon as Reeder’s waltz for “Julia” began to play, I was inconsolable. I cried about it on and off for days. I had never had the pleasure of such a beautiful ending for anyone in anything I had ever read, seen, or heard before.

NOTE: in all seriousness the balance arc is one of the most beautiful, gut wrenching, cathartic, and satisfying pieces I’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing. Remembering my first listen through feels like a fond memory with an old friend. Those boys don’t know what they did for me, but Balance helped me when I was in a really bad spot in my life, worse than right now. Maybe Balance is what I could use again. I don’t know.

AMNESTY

3. “I love you all dearly, very much, as my family. I would bury a bowie knife in any of your chests to eat French Onion soup this exact second.” FUCKEN SAME JUSTIN

2. Duck the Mundane

DUCK BECOMJGN THE MUNDANE AND JUST HAVING ONE MULTIMONTH PANIC ATTACK WAS SUCH A BIG FUCKEN MOOD FUCK ME

1. Ned’s secret

The fact that his secret that he kept from Aubrey destroyed him and redeemed him. That’s such a testament to how Clint played Ned’s character. It’s such a nuanced situation. Ned wants Aubrey’s trust so badly. He realizes he has it. And then he realizes how quickly he’s losing it because it’s all build on the faulty foundation of a massive secret about what happened to Aubrey’s mother. And that when Aubrey tells him to leave, he only stays a little longer to save everyone else. And he has his moment of redemption in the heroism of his biggest sacrifice. And he sees the stars...and they’re beautiful. And he’s at peace in some way.

That’s why his death felt meaningful.

5. Veronica and Logan, Veronica Mars

I am sad and angry right now and am pretending season 4 ended 5 minutes before it actually did

4. Elizabeth and Darcy, Pride & Prejudice

I know it’s a ship from a book that is hundreds of years old do you THINK I CARE no they’re everything

3. Natasha Rostova And Pierre Bezukhov, War & Peace

Again I KNOW OLD BOOK DONT YELL AT ME they’re just VERY GOOD TOGETHER

2. Juliet Ashton and Dawsey Adams, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Two lonely people who have been through some SHIT quietly find love and a home in each other? Hell YEAH (also the book is a billion times better than the movie)

1. Barry and Lup

Gonna probs restate some shit from earlier BUT

Goodness me the quiet but palpable build of their love. How they respect each other. How they make each other laugh. How they understand each other. How they trust each other. How they CHALLENGE each other. And then with all of that they remain desperately in love, no matter how much time has passed. Their story is everything I dream of. I love them.

If I could have a dream job, I’m sure it sounds silly and cliche but I’ve just so badly, and for so long wanted to be a musical theatre actress. But I don’t know that I’m good enough or pretty enough or whatever. I feel very lost re: my career right now.

[last-flight-of-fancy]

okay im going to scream about kingdom hearts now.

under the cut.

because there’s gonna be a lot

-REPLIKU?? MY SON???? DESERVED BETTER?????? WHAT THE FUCK????????

-yes i cried at the sea salt trio reuniting i cried goddam hard and i am not ashamed of it

-still no answers on why and how ventus got from the keyblade war to the current storyline. 

-still no answers on a lot of shit tbh

-he did recognize his chirithy tho!!! this makes me very happy!!!!

-you know whats fucked?

-i remember saying

-”man that guys movements are a lot like xigbars, but that would be silly” when i first watched Back Cover

-well

-he may not be the Master

-but i’m calling that shit CLOSE ENOUGH

-we still dont know whats in the fucking box

-where the fuck is ava

-apparently ava got hit with the memory stick and is the girl lea and isa were trying to rescue???? (i only put this one together after reading the secret reports)

-speaking of

-lea??????

-god man stop it with your faces you kill me every time youre on screen

-LETS TALK ABOUT ALL THOSE NEW OUTFITS AT THE END

-BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE THEM

-THEYRE ALL SO GOOD

-LEAS VEST SHIRT THING

-XIONS LITTLE SHOULDER RUFFLES

-ISA’S GROWNUP CALLBACK TO HIS GARDEN OUTFIT

-AUGH

-PERFECT

-I AM SAD WE DIDNT GET TO SEE THEM MORE

-BUT WE PROBABLY WILL BECAUSE THERE IS DEFINATELY MORE GAMES COMING

-LIKE DID YOU SEE THAT SECRET ENDING????

-TEN FUCKING FOUR BABY

-WE GOIN TO SHIBUYA

-oof okay

-so sora disapearing at the end hit me like a punch to the gut

-like you cant make it look fine and then take it away man not cool

-my one sincere disapointment with this game is it did fuck all with kairi as a character

-basically reduced to a plot device. again.

-even the parts where she could have been doing things! like the big heartless battle! she took like one halfhearted swipe and that was it

-its not kairi’s fault i still love her its the writers fault for not letting their female leads fucking Do Anything

-like the lead in to her arc had a lot of potential! “i’ll protect you this time! we’ll do it together!” and then she does.... nothing.

-the whole ‘you need motivation bla bla’ okay. look. bad trope, but i might, might have been able to roll with it if she’d had literally anything to do during this whole fight. her emotional arc was apparently completed in 2 and that’s all she gets i guess.

-oh yeah and then she fucking dies

-

-bleh

-BUT

-everything else was amazing

-aqua??? my wife?????? got her family back??????? and im emotional about it??????????

-xion???? my child????????? got to be with their friends again?????????? and im fckng emotional about it???????????????

-and lea

-trash fire husband

-oof my heart

-look there’s reasons i cried at the reunion and it’s because i am very attached to all three of them

-namine gets to live!!!!

-she deserves it so much

-i hope she beleives that now

-look i know the game was like ‘here’s riku and namine now ship it!’ but

-no

-look

-that was repliku

-my son whO DESERVED BETTER

-riku cannot replace him i dont care what the game canon says

-and i know the game was basically about Sora’s Relationships with everyone around him, but there were a few moments where. idk. riku underreacted to basically everything concerning kairi? and vise versa (or at least so much as kairi got any emotional screentime at all)

-like did they speak even once?????

-im still in with the ot3(s) but apparently the writers were not

-its fine i still have fanfiction

-its fine

-seriously though kairi has so much potential as a character and not only is it being squandered im pretty sure it’s being actively murdered at this point

-speaking of, the disney worlds were much better done, and indeed made me think of some fanfic i’d read that actually incorporated the worlds more fully and heartfeltedly into the plot. it was a beautiful change of pace

-kinda disapointed no rescue arc for vanitas? not surprised, just sad. it would’ve been cool to have more anti-heroes

-then again, considering everything, he might be back. we’ll see how it goes i guess.

-also the union cross names????? holy shit!!!!

-i didnt get my name but there are like... thousands of those so XD

-what a great way to incorporate khux tho

-and EPHEMER!!!

-i gasped. there he was!! my son!!!

-still dont know where they are now though. unclear

-i feel like demyx has a subplot going that we didnt get to see? i hope it gets extrapolated on in the future/he gets a bigger role in the future, but it’s hard to say

-marluxia and larxene definately hinted at some backstory that will come up in the future. also the strelitzia plot we still havent seen the conclusion of so that’s got to come up at some point.

im sure there’s more im forgetting but damn guys i binged it in like three days im still processing XDDD

[tumblunni]

MORE UPDATES ON THINGS WHAT HAPPEN

The half week milestone of the hospital house thingie time! I think the term they use for it is "a residential stay"? Cos like its not a hospital its a shared housing block thats just full of doctors. I get to sleep in a real bed and there's a nice community room and board game nights and stuff. But its still really scary how intense the supervision can be! Like they have a window to look into your room once per hour every hour constantly. And they have to go through your undies and catalog them as part of the possessions check. I was not warned about that and it was mega embarassing trying to explain a binder to a bunch of old lady doctors! Oh and i had yo do a urine test today which was possibly the most fuckin embarassing thing in the actual universe. And you're not even allowed to take your own pills! They keep them locked in a big ominous wall of lockers and you have to come into the office and swallow the pill while theyre watching. I guess maybe because some people might be faking their illness and selling their pills on the black market or whatever? But that literally doesnt happen with antidepressants, they have no 'high' or even any effect at all on non-sick people. So it just makes no sense to me and its real embarassing cos like i said i suck at taking pills with plain water and without a straw. The ones i take are real damn chunky things the size of my thumbnail! I think i'l get better at not (literally) choking under pressure over time, tho. Hopefully.

Anyway that's all the bad out of the way! Now the good and the neutral and the just miscellaneous!

Its still nervewracking having to shower in a shared house but they have a cool walk-in shower and ive never tried one of those so it was vaguely interesting. And im allowed to take my showers early at 6am to minimize the chance of anyone else trying to use the door, lol. My biggest fear is having some staff member walk in on me when im naked like back in that homeless hostel. Oh or that time in the homeless hostel where the teenage boys filled the entire bathroom with inflated condoms wall to wall. Like wow so much damn effort to prank the stupid nervous bunni who probably would have been embarassed by literally anything else. Man this place is bringing so many memories of that homeless hostel but at least this time its a place specifically for sick people and they know i'm anxious doing shared cooking and board games and whatever so they dont make fun of me for it. But in a lot of ways that hostel had more freedoms too.. *shrug*

Anyway! A good! I get to have cooking lesson!! I know literally nothing about cooking and now i get to know several thing!! This nice doctor called Josie taught me how to make an omelette and i tasted ham for the first time! That is just how limited my life experiences are, lol. Oh and they want me to say that she's a 'mental health worker' not a doctor, but its all real confusing?? Like they have the staff that look after you and then the only ones we're supposed to call doctors are the ones who actually have the authority to prescribe pills and diagnosies. But like if youre in a hospital you'd call them all doctors, not just the actual surgeon? Or i guess theyre kinda like nursing home staff?? But they cant be support workers cos support workers are specific government assigned inspector type guys like Richard who only meet with you once a week.and i have to remember to not call him a social worker either cos social workers only work with family and custody related stuff. I dunno?? Basically the medical industry has a lot of names that dont really describe what the actual thing is, lol. Anyway the ham omelette was great and now im gonna try and remember so i can try and make it myself next time! HAM ACCOMPLISHED

Also i played bingo with a few other patients and it was fun but funny that i lost 6 times in a row when there were only 3 of us. I got a consolation prize of a pack of neon highlighter pens so hell yeah!!

I'm getting booked in to try some additional classes starting next week on monday and tuesday morning. The computer programming one was sadly unavailable, but i managed tp snag a place in "confidence building group therapy" and "basic how to use power tools". I wasnt really all that interested in that one but i thought it would be a useful skill even if its less fun. And maybe you get to actyally make something to take home at the end? A lil shelf to help organize this awkward lil room better, maybe?

And an unexpected bonus of being semi-hospitalized is that i get a free bus pass! And cos im here cos of my social anxiety theyre gonna help me get outside more and actually use this thing to the fullest! The first thing we did was the trip to actually get the bus pass itself. It was like "bus, take my money to take me to the place where i can never give you money again!" XD Ive been really stupidly nervous about going on tne bus in my old neighbourhood cos MAN it was really isolated there and everything just amplified my mental illness. An almost two hour bus ride to get to ANY SHOPS AT ALL, with only one bus for the whole town so it was always crowded and full of screaming kids and gossipy everyones. Social anxiety: maximum level proud mode!

So yeah i feel BIG ACCONPLISHED! I was able to take this bus for the first time with a doctor coming with me. Power Grandpa The Strong. His actual name is Paul and he has awesome sleeve tattoos of like anchors and dragons and sports teams and stuff! And he likes thrift stores and wearing silly hats too! Its like he's powerful enough to wrestle away everyone's anxieties! I was able to be a bit reckless too and i went out wearing my fave shirt thats like trans pride coloured plaid. A POWERFUL SHIRT IS REQUIRED FOR THIS QUEST! so we went to the office to register this bus pass and i panicked a bit cos apparantky we brought the wrong form and i wrote my name in the wrong box and then my passport photo looked terrible and aaa! But it all worked out and i was kinda freaking out for nothing. And he took me for a lil tour of the place and showed me this cool shop that does spray paint tye dye t shirts with spiderman on them?? Why does this incredibly specific shop exist and how have i never heard of it before?? There was also a new harry potter shop next to the disney shop, and the old used book store i used to visit as a kid was still there, complete with rickety spiral staircase and ominous basement trap door. I'm still not brave enough to go down there, but apparantly its just the history books section so meh. Then we actually went to a fancy coffee shop and i had this brain freeze mango ice frappucchino thing! Im trying all the new foods!!

And i was TOO HIGH ON DECADENCE and made a RECKLESS CHOICE! i blame power gramp's amazing tattoos, they were totally whispering to me that i shoukd screw the rules and ride off into the sunset on a metaphorical harley davidsen of mental health

So i was like Hey Paul I Am Totally Fine Getting Home On My Own, and it was like i was floating off in the distance somewhere begging my body to not speaketh these words. But it ended up working out okay! The excitement of it all and the sense of accomplishmebt from getting there all okay allowed me to mostly not freak out as i spent the day in town and looked at some shops and stuff. Basic Living Skills: Completed! I chilled out in the library (tho i dont have a card yet, alas!) and visited like five comic and anime stores, and got lost but found a Pizza Hut and that was SO NOSTALGIC FOR MY CHILDHOOD and it didnt taste quite as good as i remembered but the waiter guy was super nice and had a similar shirt and it was All Good! Oh and i gave all my money to a homeless person and that's why i'm broke now. And i bought a plastic slug! I just saw it from across the room and was like OH NO I AM BEING MAGNETISED TOWARDS IT OH NO IT HAS ALREADY BEEN BOUGHT. I need to think of a name for this new friend!!

So yeh i got home okay and i felt really acconplished and that was the furthest trip away that i've taken in ages! Man my mental illness makes me feel pathetic, but it also brings ridiculously big joys from the smallest of silly acconplishys!

Oh and thank you so much to the people who sent me emails! It really helped so much to keep me from giving up during the first few days before i made a bit of progress and felt like i could really do this, yknow? Especially big thanks tp the friend who sent me that mysterious super happy song that they found on a mystery disc in a german market?? Im still not sure whether its in greek or hasidic jewish but it sounds AMAZING and i hope someday i can figure out the band so i can hear their other singles!

Ok this is bunni out! BIG HUGS FOR THE EVERYONE AAAA

[estherroberts]

esther roberts!

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​ , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today though, it’s @estherroberts especially. (that’s me!)

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

this is one of many individualized advanced PLACEMENT works, for the stories of each character involved. we each picked three kids to write about, and this is the first one of mine! without further ado, here’s esther! 

esther roberts is tiny but she is not delicate- which is to say, she looks fragile but she will kick your ass. she is feminine but she is unyielding. and she will beat you to the chair and pull it out her damn self.

pencil skirts, fancy blouses, necklaces with tiny charms, and three rings with varying sizes of stones are like a uniform for esther.

she has honey blonde hair in the sunlight and mousy brown in dark and her hair wiggles just past her shoulders. also, she has bangs. they're cute but they don't help her look any older.

she has brown eyes and sometimes they're warm and welcoming but mostly they're analyzing and looking and curious and questioning

she doesn't want any more piercings than the basic ear ones and she likes to wear long chained dangly earrings because they feel nice

she wears heels for the click clack and the height and ballet flats for the comfort 

she’s an aquarius

she has a cat named johanna and when she was younger she had fish but she was a horrible fish mother and gave them to jack’s sisters

esther’s father died when she was four years old

the only things she has left of him are

a) a deck of cards

b) all kinds of russian swear words

c) an ability to withstand incredibly cold weather

d) an ability to withstand her mother

technically the occupants of her house are just her and her mom, anita

anita is from new york and certainly sounds like it

she is loud and affectionate and even though she is grieving her husband, does her best to raise her daughter

there are aunts, uncles, and cousins living across the street and on either side, and her mother’s parents are less than a block away

and there are always people over

most of her cousins are a lot older than she is, some of them have children by the time she’s a junior and so she is both the baby and the babysitter

also always over is jack wyatt

they grew up together, and jack talked to esther’s cousins as much, if not more, than esther did

they did ballroom lessons together, they cooked together, they have embarrassing photos of each other when they were babies, they even are very close to having their own language (there’s more on that in the jack post)

if you asked esther at five, at seven, at fifteen, at seventeen, who her favorite person in the world was? she would say jack. (she might throw bridget in there too, but we’re not there yet)

she loves him a LOT

esther figured out she was gay in 5th grade bc she watched glee and wanted to kiss quinn (later she realized how GARBAGE FIRE the show was but she’s glad it got her this, at least)

she’s maybe 11 and she’s freaking out. she thinks about it before she falls asleep and sometimes she looks stuff up online but she feels like it’s Extra so she stopped doing that. and it’s her secret, it’s a Big Secret.

sometimes she asks jack if they would still be friends if she was gay and he looks at her funny and tells her that she’s an idiot and he would still be her friend if she was green and came from the moon

“actually it’d be so cool if you were green and from the moon,”

and one time she held hands with a girl who was like, a study buddy or something as they were walking down the hallway and her heart hurt because she wished it could be real, really real

lots more under the readmore! 

when she is 12 her and jack meet anthony in detention, and through him, they also meet quentin

the four of them have lunch together every day and talk about advanced math and sciences, comparing notes and theories and arguing constantly

sometimes anthony does her nails

she really likes light solid colors like white, beige, pink

but one time he brings gold flecks to put on top of her pink

and he’s a little unsure about how she’ll react but she agrees

and is UTTERLY DELIGHTED with the final result

in 7th grade, tiny practical esther still doesn't understand most social interactions very well

she doesn't see the value in communication so spends no time learning how to do it

but toward the end of the year she starts to actually worry about this

their school is a middle and high school combined but

anthony has been complaining that all his friends are younger than him, that by high school he STILL won’t know anyone his age, that making friends is SO HARD

and so esther starts spending a lot of time interrogating her mom about how to initiate conversations and when you should ask someone about their day and what you do if someone doesn't like you

and her mom thinks it's great that she's finally expressing interest in people, for the love of god, so she gives her practice assignments to try to get to know the people around her better and get more friends

over summer she meets sally this way, by complimenting her star trek shirt and then dragging her to lunch with The Boys

of course, sally ends up becoming best friends with anthony, but her and esther are close too

anyway this is how esther becomes a CHARMER. teachers, when they aren't telling off her for talking to jack, LOVE HER. store clerks and waiters feel a little bit better about themselves after she leaves them (and internally she still has a script running because she needs it, but she gets better at improvising and she learns to smile a little bit more, because people like that)

it’s not that she’s being fake? because she genuinely does care, it’s just that she’s cracked the code of being like a Great People person

esther invited four non family members to her bat mitzvah:

jack, anthony, quentin, and sally.

they’re all super impressed with her confidence and jack actually cries a little

the party half of it isn’t so much of a party as it is a smorgasbord of incredible food

anita tells the kids they can just the tiniest sips of wine and they all get so excited about it she changes her mind

her freshman year there’s a GSA club and she’s rly scared but she signs up and asks jack if he’ll come with her to a meeting and he’s like, absolutely

and she passes him a note in the middle of it and it just says “i’m gay?????????” and he passes it back with “probably, also, same” and she nods and he smiles and for a while he’s the only one who knows

sophomore year she’s in science and math with sally bc she’s Smart for a little one

and they’re doing group work together and she’s texting instead of talking to sally

and sally’s like “are we gonna work now?” and esther’s like “yeah sorry, uh"

“i was in an argument with jack over who gets to marry hayley atwell"

and sally’s like, “is she, like, your woman crush wednesday whatever”

and esther’s like “oh no, i’m a giant lesbian”

makes a face, mumbles, “woman crush wednesday, god”

and sally’s just like, bubbly, happy, excited (but it takes her a minute to process)

“oh. OH! :D i hope you win the argument!!”

and esther grins wickedly and is like, “i will"

this eventually leads to a Bond they share over queer stuff, which leads to regular talks down at the garden shed, which eventually winds up at detention

but that’s another story 

later in the year she tells june and helen, who are in orchestra with her, and theyre so sweet about it and it’s the only time (until, of course, Chuck E Cheese Night) that june smiles at her

she doesn’t say it to anyone unless it comes up, but she doesn’t say silent on her opinions in class discussions and she figures everyone’s figured it out by now

telling her mother, on the other hand, scares the SHIT out of her

like, she knows anita will be chill about it she knows this but it’s so so scary for some reason? like what if she’s wrong and what if her mom is disappointed or doesn’t believe her?

her and bridget start dating the summer between sophomore year and junior year

that summer, before they get together, they text constantly

and esther, like is absolutely flirting, she’s doing her best

she thinks very highly of bridget as an academic but the selfies bridget sends... oh god, the selfies are so breathtakingly beautiful 

even the silly ones

like, wow

WOW

esther has never had a girlfriend, she doesn’t know how to flirt, but being smooth is like, in her dna

(jack makes fun of her all the time and tells her she’s being cheesy)

(but it appears to be working, so she tells him to fuck off)

eventually her efforts do pay off and bridget officially asks her out while they’re eating ice cream

their relationship is so healthy like, they talk about everything and they’re super honest with each other

and when they have miscommunications they talk about what they feel and try to say what they mean

her whole life esther has always been “the cute one”

it comes from being smol and from being the youngest in her family and bc, well, she is pretty cute

but bridget calls her beautiful one day and she nearly cries

because she’s never gotten to feel beautiful before

also, bridget’s the only one who calls her ettie and very quickly becomes the only one who’s allowed to call her ettie

esther loves her so much, she would do anything for bridget and anything to keep her

and she knows, she knows she needs to tell her mom soon, but one month passes and then three and then six and it’s hanukkah?

and her mom tells her she can invite as many people she wants on the third night, that they won’t have any cousins and it can just be esther’s friends

because of orchestra, and The Gay, and the poly chain and other couples, the gang has taken shape, and esther, for the first time, has more than four friends. she has eight now, eight people she loves and (mostly) get along with

trying to explain all of it to anita is a literal nightmare, but she can’t quite speak bridget’s name

“mom, again, you know jack, and his girlfriend penny, and then sally and her not-not? or is it not? boyfriend anthony and his girlfriend helen and her girlfriend june and her boyfriend quentin and-”

anita is patient and is really doing her best to understand the tangled relationship web but she does notice that esther said eight and only gave her seven names

“who’s the eighth person, esther?"

“aaaaaaaaaaa she’s uhhhh she’s ummmmmmmmmm aaaaaaa……..her name is bridget. she’s my age. she’s beautiful. she’s like. really good at english. she makes a mean apple pie. she’s a libra. she volunteers at the library. she’s like, an actual angel and she makes me smile every day and also she’s kind of my girlfriend?????????????”

anita:    :O

“i’m so sorry i didnt say sooner, i just. i got scared. i really don’t want to lose her. and i didn’t know how you would react, if you knew and i didnt- i didnt… i didn’t want to lie but i didnt know what to SAY and i waited too long and i’m sorry and-”

god bless esther’s mother, because although she is absolutely freaking out internally, just says, “i cannot wait to meet her"

needless to say they all have a BLAST and esther’s mom really does her best to get all the pronouns and relationships right and she appreciates how captive of an audience she has when she tells stories esther’s heard hundreds of times

and bridget is so polite and she offers to help clean the kitchen after

and esthers mom keeps making faces at esther like “SHES A KEEPER” and esther is ready to Die of happiness and embarrassment

up until her junior year, homework was incredibly easy. all she had to do was hyperfocus and she could work on it all night. but the more work she got, the more overwhelming it was, the more pressure she put on herself, and the harder it got to do

her grades didn’t really drop but ?

it took her a lot longer to get her homework done

she got distracted more easily

and then get mad at herself for getting distracted

being diagnosed for adhd helped a lot

she’s not on meds (she’s thinking about it though) but knowing that this is something to manage and take care of is really helping her

she’s learning to be okay with that part of herself? jack doesn’t stim the same way she does but he helps her figure out what she likes

and eventually she’s even a little proud of her neurodivergence, the way she’s proud of her sexuality and proud to be jewish

i’m not gonna pretend i know the rules of dilemma. but esther does, anita does, jack does, and sally….? sort of does?

just like in canon, her and jack play all the time

she’s better than he is but only SLIGHTLY, he’s been playing just as long as she has

she just gets a little more practice

esther’s dedication to STEM is sort of a mix of a lot of things

she has a genuine natural interest in math and science

she likes that things make sense and that there are universal rules (this doesn’t mean she won’t try to break them, she just likes knowing that they’re there)

(it’s a bit like a finish line, except you get to keep going)

(esther takes statistics really early in her hs career and just, LOVES it. like if she didn’t want to save the world, she’d probably be a data analyst

testing things to discern their significance is 300% her jam

and she loves hand drawing graphs

she has enough graph paper in her backpack to fill up a large dictionary)

also designing projects is a really big strong suit of hers

she’s an incredible planner/diagrammer

which works SUPER well with jack’s buildy skills

she comes up with the shit, and he makes it

also her handwriting is incred so whenever they write up things with the scientific method she’s the one who has to do it

she doesn’t know what she wants to do in the field but she knows she LOVES it 

overall she’s a pretty happy gay

she loves her friends and she loves her school and she loves her mom and she can put up with her cousins

she’s not afraid of the future, she’s ready for it.

[landofwordsandfrogs]

FUCK IT ITS ALMOST ELEVEN PM AND IM GOING TO ASNWER THIS SHIT

i love oc stuff and have no idea how to change this bold back to normal. anyway

LETS ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT AGNES CARDOSO, FROM AUDAZ !

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

naw, but she is v close w her cousing armando. she basically raised him. <3

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

her mom and dad died when she was seven. her father was a v bland, calm person, and mostly she slept on him and watched silly tv together. her mother was louder, more excited and demanding. agnes had a lot of live up to, was demanded a lot from her mom, but overall felt like she could do it and wanted to do it and shed make her proud!

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

when she was seven, agnes was Hanging Out with aunt gabi when they got a call and aunt gabi, who never knew how to act with children, just took agnes with her. when they arrived at the place and agnes got out of the car, she saw both her parents dead and bloody in the street, along with another woman and two boys, while a crying vampire sat in the middle of all this. he begged her aunt to kill him, and she did.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

hmmmm. her cellphone would be in her pocket, cept its perpetually GLUED to her hand instead. pack of cigarettes and lighter. wallet, keys to her bike.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

agnes has like crazy insomnia, doesnt rly remember dreams and stuff. mostly about vampires, and blood, and killing vampires, and not being able to wash the blood off her hands.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

oh boy. yes agnes has about a million guns and shoots them a lot, bc shes a vampire hunter. first target was a feral vampire.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

naw. being part of an olden Hunting Family that basically runs an entire town gives a person TREMENDUOUS financial security.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

more clothing. agnes’ jacket is her armor.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

well, when she was seven, and she saw her parents dead on the hot alphalt. nothing would ever get to her while mommy and daddy were with her, except something did.

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

well. agnes state of being is Stress, so. when she was < 7 yo ?? rofl

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

not rly. its just that she cant get it out of her hands. its everywhere. she tries to wash it away, she does.

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

both? neither? agnes is perpetually surrounded by a bunch of people from the family and the city and her subordinates and the visiting Families and the neighboring Nest of vampires, so sheS GOTTA remember people.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

naw, see financial security above. mostly agnes has her jacket and her boots and her bike. shes got an entire wing inside the House but its very spartan. mostly empty. she doesnt have time to go out and buy things, much less decoration, doesnt have time for hobbies. in the beginning and middle of the story anyway

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

iddealize? happiness. success is her middle name; shes the second of the cardoso hunting family and extremely competent; if the position werent by blood, she’d become head in the future anyway. but happiness?

agnes is unhappy. its something that she knows she wont achieve.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

aw man idk. doesnt strike me as much of a “carries plushie around” child or anything

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

hm. wisdom? ambition is cool, but mostly she feels like people can do what they want if they put enough effort in it. but shes extremely aggravated by slow or non-practical people, so i guess. wisdom ? so

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

ah. ags is like. Extremely Practical. will argue incessantly forever when she thinks shes right, of course this is the right thing to do. also, she tends to take responsability for everything. everything. if the sun explodes agnes will be out in the backyard watching the explosion thikning, but i could have done something i should have noticed the sun was shining differently i should have tried to evacuate people etc etc etc

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

compare? agnes doesnt compare herself to much, cept maybe her aunt, who she thinks is too dramatic and should be more practical like her so things would run more smoothly

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

takes responsabilty for everything even things that were literally impossibe for her to be at fault or know about at all.

What does your character like in other people?

she lieks people who understand her quielty and dont crowd her. she likes people who dont dance around stuff. she likes people who make things seem a little simpler, life a little less heavy.

What does your character dislike in other people?

being too dramatic. being prejudiced pricks. being too violent.

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

shell trust people with what theyve proven to her they can be trusted, no less no more.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

everyone is kinda sketchy until they prove themselves somehow. id say shes loyal to people who prove themselves to her, but honestly people are more loyal to her than she to them.

How does your character behave around children?

is never really around them? is friendly, tries to be nice? ultimately doesnt much know what to do. 

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

shes the boss and youll do what shes fucking telling you to do.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

they get a warning that a punch is coming, and then a punch will come.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

nothing, really. agnes grew knowig that she’d be head after her mother, and then after her mom died she knew shed be the head after her aunt.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

huh. ok, one thing i dont know.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

its evening and shes in beatrices house. theres sunlight, and a breeze, and bia is planting flowers or collecting her berries or pulling out weeds. agnes is sitting by the big tree. their dogs are around them. theres nothing too pressing demanding that they go out and do things for a moment.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

uncomfortable? hm. having to pretend to be Hetero

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

defensive and willing to improve. she did the right thing and youre wrong and now shes going to do an even better thing and youll be even wronger.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

you move on. you move on and on and on until something works, because something will have to work, and we’ll have to deal until we get there.

How does your character behave around people they like?

nicknames. dry humor. smokes in their faces. being quiet in the same room.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

depends. if its some subordinate or something like that, she wont hide. be better. she wants more from you, and youre an asshole. if it someone more “Important”, shell be polite, but mostly monosyllabic.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

uh, neither? as i said, status is kinda garanteed. kinda. and honor? she knows shes a black sheep. shes got too different beliefs from everyone around her. all she can do is what she can do, and it will have to be enough.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

The problem will leave because she has no time for this shit.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

do feral vampires count. shes been bitten by them several times. many scars

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

politely. theyre doing their jobs, which is something she respects. everyones got a job to do.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

you must earn it, and even then you might not get it, and you have to live with this.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

well, theres her uncle-by-marriage uncle al? so i gues him. he and her aunt took care of her after her parents died.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

SPOILER ALERT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yep in epilogue she kinda adopts two teens, a 15 yo and a 16 yo. kinda. mostly they live w her and bia and theyre more or less reponsible fo them.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

she doest say it without meaning it bc whats the point? doesnt feel the need to say it all that much, isnt a very touchy or romantic person. shell say if the person asks, or is the person says that they’d like to hear it more or smth.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

life starts and ends and that is that, and we have to do what we can while we are here.

[allorganichome]

An Old Fashioned Christmas

An Electronics-Free Christmas? We Did (And We Survived)

Around here, we’re an organic, granola-crunchy, natural bedding-sleeping, plastic-free (okay, plastic-reduced…this keyboard I’m typing on has outed me there all by itself) family.

And honestly, I’m proud of us for this. It has taken a long time, a lot of research, and tons of substitutions (and trial and error) to get to the point where I can legitimately say my family lives as natural a lifestyle as possible, within the limits that the modern world imposes.

Through the years, when it comes to the natural life, Christmas has been our final frontier. What can be more glittery, more plastic-y, more brightly lit and more deliciously, deck-the-hallsy faux than Christmas? Not in spirit, of course. (That’s a personal matter, and can be a very meaningful and deep one.) Rather, I’m talking about its materialistic practicalities.

Because yes, “natural” or no, like so many other families, we absolutely love all the trimmings of the season, right down to tinsel (yikes!), non-LED lights (come on, we HAVE to buy new lights?), plastic-wrapped candy canes, DVDs (and “24 Hours of a Christmas Story, of course”), made in who-knows-where Elf on the Shelf…the list goes on.

You can see how such a schism was bound to make me, Granola Mommy, feel a bit, well, hypocritical. So last year, I decided we would have a true old-fashioned Christmas…with NO electronics.

(Pausing for a moment of silence here. I know, I know. Hang in there, it’s not all bad, I swear.)

Granted, depending upon just where you go with “old-fashioned,” one could be talking about lead tinsel, non-child-friendly paints and plastic everything…even when one goes quite some way back in time. So we went way-er back than that (is way-er a word?) and decided to shoot for a Victorian (or even pre-) holiday.

Want to know how we did it…and laughed about it (and in the end, decided to make it an annual tradition)? Curious about trying it yourself? Here’s how to have your very own old-fashioned, au naturel Yuletide. Hint: it’s not all twigs and berries (though they’re there too ) and it definitely won’t be perfect, but it WILL be fun. That much I promise you…and it’s my gift to you.

1. Douse the Lights

That’s right. All of them. Just for the day and night, mind you. Yes, you CAN live without electronics. We did it, and we only considered Xanax a few times. (Maybe a few dozen?) You can do it too!

Christmas is all about candlelight…especially a Victorian or heck, a Renaissance Christmas. Of course, if you’re concerned about fire, you can cheat and get battery-operated flameless candles. (I’ll give you a pass on that one.) We went halfsies: for candles closer to small(ish) hands (our littlest was five), we used the battery type, and for the rest, we used the real deal – beeswax, in fire-safe dishes and well away from décor.

I know, I know…it’s sad to see an unlit Christmas tree. One thing I will NOT recommend to you is a traditional Swedish tree decked with, literally, candles. This is intended to be an old-fashioned Christmas, not a fire department one. Emergency response personnel have families too…spare everyone and skip the (literally) lit tree, just for this one night.

2. Bake Up a Storm

I’m a scary baker. I’ll admit it. (Hey…weren’t we just talking about the fire department a minute ago? Hashtag coincidence.)

But because I have taken us back to basics, I’ve had to learn to cook. For our traditional, unplugged Christmas, I didn’t use any ingredients I couldn’t spell.

It’s easy to make anything delicious without adding anything weird to the mix. Trust me. A little organic cane sugar, something flour-ish (we used rice, tapioca and potato flours as we’re gluten-free) and you can make anything taste good…well, except the turkey.

I forced my kids to help, but despite themselves, they loved it. Pull your little ones in, and any friends you can gather. If you have an electronic stove, okay, that’s a cheat too…so do your “big baking” the day before, and be set with wonderful cookies, pies and other goodies on the Big Day.

3. Make Your Own Décor

You may not be the Pinterest queen (goodness knows I’m not), but you CAN make adorable Christmas décor.

Ever seen a movie or read a book that described the family making tree garland out of popcorn and cranberries? Yes, that can really be done. Take my advice, though, and use thimbles. Just…trust me on this one. Then sit everyone in a row with a heavy thread, needle and lots of popcorn…and start threadin’.

This takes forever. For. Ev. Er. But wow, is it fun to think of things to talk and laugh about…and get back to family basics with.

More do-it-yourself décor: pine cones and berries on the table; cardboard cutouts of reindeer, stars, trees, gifts and Santa; snowflakes cut out of organic coffee filters (fold the filter four times and cut small semi-circles and triangles, then open back up); and grapevine wreaths stuffed with bits of pine twigs, dried fruit, and dried flowers.

4. Learn to Sing

I love to sing, and I’m not terrible. But how many families sit around and sing for their entertainment nowadays? We did, and after a few uncomfortable glares at Mom’s tremolo (don’t judge), my children, wife, in-laws and I were trilling up a storm in no time.

What do you do without electronics? Well, what did people do BEFORE electronics? Putting aside more unsavory possibilities, like competitive rock-throwing or stall-mucking, I’m going with: they sang. Remember Pa from Little House on the Prairie, getting his family to sing and toe-tap to his fiddle playing? Yeah, it’s like that. And yes. It IS fun. Try it.

5. Play a Game

There are all sorts of non-electronic games you can play to make the evening fun (or, as my 13-year-old said, “Less skull-crushingly boring.” Isn’t he great? I just love that little dude…hyperbole for the win).

Remember charades? Jokes? Twenty Questions? Those and more are all games that would have been played in days of old. You don’t have to play a Victorian game…just play a game. One that doesn’t involve any buttons, except the ones of Dad’s you’ll push by making a bald joke or slipping a swear word into your turn at charades.

It’s amazing how close a family can get from playing a silly game and laughing about it…and being competitive about it…and losing but not caring because the win was just so darned clever. Depending on your age, you probably played games with your family. Remember the fun? It’s still there…bring it back. Don’t remember the fun? (Oh you Millennials…) Start fun of your own. Make up your own game and make it a tradition.

However you celebrate Christmas, enjoy…and have a happy (and natural!) New Year!

Your Home.Your Life. All Organic.

Source URL: An Old Fashioned Christmas

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I wish I could hug y'all!

In fact I think I will make it A LIFE GOAL I really really wanna someday be able to visit all my friends who live in different countries! Its something good to save up for, even if it'll probably take years. So.. lets randomly ramble in a journal about Plans!! IDEA THE FIRST TRIP THE FIRST FIRST THE FIRST: THE SEQUEL I think it'd probably make sense to go to america first, since i have a lot of close friends living there and I don't need to learn another language. (I am notoriously dumb...) But then afterwards I could set another goal to save up and visit another friend in another country! IT WILL NEVER ENDDDDD, THATS WHY ITS CALLED FRIENNNNDDDDD So far all I have confirmed is that two of my friends would be happy to see me if I was able to visit america, @darkeiya and @summon-daze But its not like I've exactly asked everyone else, so I dunno really how many people I might be able to visit. And it depends on time constraints too, i might only be able to spend a full day or two with the closest friends and maybe then if there's more than three of us we could all meet up together and hang out en masse? Depends on how tricky it'd be for everyone to get to the same place! SO! PLANS AND THINGS I NEED TO PREPARE! workin to figure out a precise money goal im gonna save for * Become Fab * no but srsly i wanna look my best if im meeting friends in person for the first ever time. need to acquire Cool T-Shirts * figure out what exactly you can and cannot take on an aeroplane, and how to deal with anxiety if i cant take electronics. Nothing's as distracting as videogames when you're freakin out! * DO NOT SCHEDULE ANYTHING ON THE 11th-14th OF THE MONTH. i have a bad history of my period landing on these days ONLY when i have to do something important. Or when its my birthday :P I dont need even more reason to feel nauseous on a plane! * figure out how many days the stay will be, and how many clothes etc I need to bring. probably a basic thing, but this is my first time going on a holiday alone so i need to write stuff down to make sure i remember! * figure out how long exactly I want to spend with each friend, and how long I can afford in hotel fees. And does a plane ticket cos more if you're staying for longer? * find out what kind of luggages are easiest to carry and how to carry three luggages when i have two hands. Can you tie them together and make a luggages train??? * Find some sort of secure way to carry large amounts of money. I'm gonna have to do that since I need to get all my currency converted before I go. I was thinking maybe a little matchbox tin chained to the inside of my coat or around my neck? Something where you couldnt get it without roughhousing with me, and it'd still be hard to pull it off the chain. Gives me a precious few extra minutes to yell for help/possibly bludgeon a guy with a suitcase * Figure out hotel(s) in different areas of america, depending on how far I'll have to travel. And figure out affordable ways to travel the difference if its not a situation where the friend can pick me up. And make sure they are cool hotels, not just the absolute minimum! i wanna make a fun tourist experience of the hotels!! I havent been in a hotel since I was a kid! * Possibly schedule it like a 'safehouse' thing? Returning to home base! I need to make sure I schedule around the potential anxiety of doing so much travel in a new place. So maybe schedule it out so I have a period of me-time in between visiting each friend? Itd probably cost too much to rent a hotel room for an entire day in between so maybe just schedule it out so I have half a day at least. I dunno if hotels allow you to sleep in all day tho, are there rules about what time you need to be up and out? * I'm kinda looking forward to using hotel beds and showers cos theyre like luxury compared to my house XD man, I wonder if I could get a place with a hot tub?? or the fabled mini-bar?? (which i would drink nothing of, but it would be fun to take photos!) And it'd be so cool to see what american breakfasts are like! And lol all my friends have just been like 'YOU NEED TO SEE OUR LOCAL RESTAURANTS' and im like... dude, i dont need to get fatter XD lets limit it to ONE! * I dunno if my friends would just wanna hang out in their local mall or something, or if I could visit their house and say hi to their family? that might be going too far. i'll still bring gifts they can give to their family tho, i wanna show my appreciation to everyone!! * are you allowed to bring extra empty suitcases onto the plane with you? I'm anticipating that knowing myself im probably gonna buy enough souveniers to need one. I'm planning to basically have half the money be for travel and then half again is just for buying NOVELTY HATS! * need to make sure to finally get a passport, and also consult heavily with my support worker and friends to make sure i have every form of travel documentation in order. I know stuff is... not good, in america right now. Thats probably why it'd be good that it'd take me years to save up for a visit, hopefully i'd be there after the next election. But I need to prepare anyway, in case border control is even more stringent. * Prepare the 'ol misgendering, because getting strip searched and treated as a suspicious threat is a very big reality for trans people. Having the wrong gender marker on your birth certificate is treated as 'this passport must be a forgery' rather than.. yknow.. transgender people exist. And then you need to be invasively handled by the guards to make sure you aren't packing explosives down your goddamn pants, they have to inspect the parts of you that you're most self concious about. *shudder* I've heard a lot of horror stories. I dunno if america is any better about it. But yeah I'm probably gonna have to just pass as female during boarding and hotels and stuff, and not wear my binder til i get to meet my friends. Saves trouble... Man, I might have to even go buy some more cliche feminine outfits or something, to make sure. Itd be fun burning them afterwards, I guess... * BRING GIFTS FOR FRIENDS N FAMILY! Figure out what is and isnt allowed to be transferred between countries. As far as I know I cant bring any form of food or drink right? I'm only allowed to eat the in-flight meals? Thats a shame cos I wanted to bring welsh cakes, theyre the only one of our local delicacies that's not a super acquired taste. (I tried bara bryth for the first time and DIED) And I dunno if anyone would be interested in silly souveniers of my country but I could get a pile of em if you are! Want an eight foot tall lovespoon? Want a giant inflatable daffodil? Want a bazillion ceramic dragons? * I am determined to bring at least one personalized super awesome gift for each person! It might just be an expensive merchandise of their fave show, it might be some form of handmade handicraft of one of their ocs! whatever I'm able to do! ^_^ * BRING SKETCHBOOKS SO WE CAN DRAW TOGETHER. LEARN THE WAYS OF THE AMERICAN MASTERS. * hey does anyone wanna trade trading cards yo. They'd be like the single easiest thing to bring with me, but I only have a handful of pokemon ones and i only really have one friend that I know likes yugioh. (And she's in england) * WE CAN FOOL AROUND LIKE DOOFS. God willing, if anyone wants to join me I will play water balloon tennis or jalapeno roulette or any sort of insane friend activity you can think of!! Gotta make up for the fact im a boring teetotaler. Tho lol I probably already act more drunk than the real drunks at a party XD * TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS!! And possibly try and acquire a portable video camera? I'd only photo/video anyone if they gave me permission, and I wouldnt post it online unless I also had permission for that. I just wanna make a lot of memories and record them forever! Whenever I feel down, I can remember this amazing trip!!! * remember to get one of those plug adaptor thingies cos american plugs have one less prong. Gotta trade the pokeymons!! I know I can already do that easily online but BATTLING IN PERSON WOULD BE EPIC * ...bring an Ash cosplay? XD * no but seriously if i could schedule this right to coincide with an american convention or something that'd be awesome! EVEN MORE SOUVENIERS! And I could actually try cosplaying!! I'd have to find a character that suits me tho, I dont wanna get laughed at like everyone always does with fat people cosplaying thin characters. (Like... almost every character is thin, yo. let people do what they want) * possible idea: magma admin tabitha from pokemon? he's like the only fave I have who's chubby but not like... inherantly a comic relief ugly guy or a seventy year old grandpa. I wanted to do quina quen from final fantasy 9 but I dont think I have the charisma to pull it off. I'd get paranoid if people just treated the character how they treat the character, my brain would twist everything into an insult on my costume or myself XD also I kinda already look like tabitha, tho I'd either have to go without hairdye or like... wear a wig in my natural hair colour. Also his costume is super heavy and sweaty in a convention setting, according to what I;ve heard from other team magma cosplayers. (Makes you wonder how on earth they all wore it on a volcano!) * WHAT IS AN AMERICAN BISCUIT. They look like savoury welshcakes??? Learn about all the language differences! Man I wish I could bring food souveniers back with me, I'd never be able to try every single different foodstuff in america in one day without DYING. AND DYING AGAIN. * Collect product wrappers and advertisements! Its always really interesting to me to see the differences between countries! A friend mailed me an american cola once and the bottle was a whole different shape??? (he also mailed me a bunch of spent shotgun shells, which was kinda terrifying cos I was currently in a christian homeless shelter and I didnt exactly wanna cause trouble XD Apparantly it is totally legal to own unuseable bullets tho, as long as you dont have a gun.) * I dunno if any of my friends would be equally interested in similar things? i could take requests for weird british stuff to bring with me! * for summon-daze specifically: since we are both cuddly honest goofballs of childlike joy, maybe bring some of my plushie collection to show her? I'd usually just bring one as an emergency anti-anxiety measure. Tho the embarassment from having a full on meltdown in public and having to be seen hugging a plush toy to keep from crying means its not 100% effective. Only works good when I'm with people who arent judgmental. Secret pocket gengar plush is good for other times! (I've been squeezing that thing during doctors appointments and nobody noticed!) * extra reason why I'd love to visit my friends: visiting my friends's pets. I have been absolutely blessed by images of dazy's pet cat Pam, and apparantly her family has a few other cats and a dog! O_O WHAT AN AMAZING LIFE YOU LIVE. I always tell her to give pam a hug from me, and I know pam probably wouldnt like me very much when we first meet cos she's shy, but still I'd love to at least see her. I wish cats could somehow know that they give joy to people through the internet! * ...are you allowed to bring medications across the border? is there a procedure I need to go through to be allowed to bring my antidepressants? Would painkillers be allowed too? If not, is there anywhere I could buy plane-bring-onnable headache meds in the lobby or something? Just anticipating that I might get a stress migraine on the plane, cos it'd be my first time ever flying. * are you allowed to take photos out the plane window, if you use a non electronic camera? i know you cant really see anything but panning landscapes but it still sounds awesome!

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Mannnnn I just cannot get over how many great well-developed relationships there are within the Rune Factory 4 cast! Its just great how much all the different love interests interact with each other outside of their romance route, and how all the non-romanceable characters are still an equally big presence by being family/mentors/employers/best friends/etc to the love interests and to each other and everyone has a job role in the town and they have so many great interactions and just GAHHHH its so great!! Its like one big family made of families made of families then you marry into the family and the family and also the family perhaps. THEN YOU HAVE A CUTE CHILD. aaaaaa

Anyway.. umm.. lol... Yeah THIS IS BUNNI JUST FLAILING AT HOW GREAT THE GAME IS

ALL THE FAMS:

Ventuswill the mentor lady best friend/team mum/LITERALLY THE GOD OF THIS COUNTRY AND A GIANT DRAGON man i just cry forever for her aaaa Everybody’s own unique love for her, and how she kinda unites us all as a family aaaa The butler family coworker trio who met each other because of her! I really like to see it as clorica and vishnal having a brother sister relationship, they dont get any particular big scenes together but they just seem to be such cute friends who never have any of the rivalry you’d expect when theyre both competing as volkanon’s students. VOLKANON IS LIKE YOUR GRANDPA AND HE IS THE BEST CHARACTER The whole restaurant fam! You get to see it expand as the story goes on! And aaaa its just so heartwarming that porcoline adopts all these random homeless people and aaaa!!! DYLAS LEARNED TO COOK. THEY ALL LOVE THEIR STUPID TWIRLY GOOFBALL DAD. And its so nice that these very different personalities end up coming together and being like siblings when they probably wouldnt have befriended each other if not for this random stroke of chance. Its just so cute seeing margaret looking out for her new brothers, and dylas being so polite and formal to arthur, and arthur just being all ‘haha i dont know anything about having a loving family what a rare novelty’ *constantly crying inside* And they bicker sometimes and when they team up theyre a super powerful force, and theyre all like the parents to porcoline’s childishness and aaaaa super talented restaurant fam, super colourful quartet of hugs aaaa THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE OKAY And Forte + Kiel adorable siblings with the unique plot and semi tragic aspect of living alone together at a young age and each trying to take the place of their deceased parents and protect each other And then Bado is like their weird adoptive uncle who’s lived next door since back when their parents were alive, and promised to keep them safe. but he’s kind of a wreck of a man who’s perpetually messing up his silly get rich quick schemes but DEEP AT HEART HE CAAAAARES! but still he is kind of a mess and would probably turn up drunk on their couch half the time. i love him he reminds me of sirius black if he ate del boy from Only Fools And Horses to absorb his strength And then there’s Illuminata who’s like Bado’s evil twin kinda?? They should have more interactions, theyre the bad influence grownups duo XD And I just love the underrated relationship between her and her ‘sidekick’ amber, and how she’s kinda like a big sister who doesnt wanna be called one. I totally only have you here to serve my nefarious purposes! Umm, I mean, my purposes of justice!! And then she’s often playing the cool big sis to all the various female characters in the town, even though at the same time she’s also part of the ‘adults who need a mom friend’ group XD I think margaret and forte actually win the crowd of the true mom friends even though theyre not the oldest (I also like that they have an unlikelu friendship together, though i wish if margaret is allowed to have a canonical gay crush then why isnt she allowed to be a gay marriage option...) And then Lin Fa and Xiao Mei kinda dont stand out as much cos theyre more of a very normal mother and daughter, beyond Lin Fa just being this spacey super nice but super clumsy person. She’s not quite the funny parent-child like porco and co, but she’s funny in her own way cos of how cheerful and positive she is about all her failures. Xiao Mei got all the common sense! Its also nice and cute how Xiao Mei is physically clumsy but super competant and mature, while her mum is perfectly elegant yet completely scatterbrained. And they’re both totally huggable, Xiao Mei dont be jealous that everyone has crushes on your mum! I feel so bad when she’s all ‘i’ll never succeed cos i cant be cute in the same way as her’, as if there’s only one definition of feminine beauty or whatever. CAN YOU NOT SEE YOUR MUM HAS FLAWS TOO. you are powerful togetherrrrrr! i am just so envious seeing these characters with supportive mums that’re like their best friend and they can talk about everything together ^_^ And then there’s the doctor family with the super lovey dovey married couple of funnyness and mushy mush, and they adopt some orphans too~! EVERYONE ADOPTS EVERYBODY: THE GAME. I love seeing the cold and distant Dolce warm up to them and regain her faith that she wont be hurt if she loves someone again. Also Pico is very cute and hilarious! Even if again I get very annoyed at this game having so much queerbaiting, lol. I kinda laughed at the wiki saying dolce and pico were ‘like sister’, i mean seriously?? Pico is like your typical ‘looks like a child but is really 100′ love interest and dolce is the poor harem show protagonist who never asked for this XD I do like though that even if it seems dolce very much doesnt requite pico’s feelings, theyre still best friends either way. Pico’s super comedic flirting attempts seem to come off like she’s completely aware that dolce doesnt love her back, and she just wants to make some humour out of the situation to let dolce know she still cares about her even if they’re never gonna date. Its nice, we dont often see relationships like that in fiction, a childhood friend who confess a crush, gets turned down, and it actually ends positively and they remain friends. Its just a shame it had to be like... one of the few openly LGBTQ characters in the game, and nobody is ever allowed to date anybody or have a happy ending or be a romance route or even mention the word gay, even as theyre constantly being incredibly vocal about how its canon these characters have crushes on each other. gahhhhh. I mean we literally have doug and dylas proposing to each other and confessing their love but LOL HA its just a ~wacky misunderstanding~ but btw lets just rub it in that they are VERY MUCH intended to be seen as gay by the audience but theyre not ~really~ gay even when we say they are and GAHHH okay sorry im getting offtopic now :P Anyway its really sad that Pico is stuck as the same unchanging ghost child while her best friend grows up and marries someone else. And man, she had to spend all those years guarding monster form dolce until someone was able to free her, and we dont even know how pico died so her life could have even more tragedy in it. After all that I guess its a relief that she can be this comic relief jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold manzai duo partner to dolce and also like the freeloading friend on her metahphorical ghost couch. And its nice how much the doctor couple completely accept ‘dolce’s friend’ and are some of the few people who never remotely worry about her haunting the town. And then AAAAA there’s the four guardians themselves who’re like a family cos they were all people who were like family to ventuswill in different time periods, and then met each other for the first time when they were purified from their monster forms and bonded over how much they all love the same friend. And theyre such a badass quartet of cool monsterfolks!! And I like that they have lil relationships inside the quartet, like how dolce and amber are polar opposite sunshine and grumpiness but dolce secretly likes her a lot more than she lets on, and how leon likes to tease dylas but also kinda be his wingman. And I like how leon takes this role to a lot of the other batchelors too, he’s this totally shameless frat boy big brother figure XD “HEY PROTAGONIST DO YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT DOUG’S SEX LIFE” And then aaaa doug and granny blossom AAAAAA granny blossom is probably the character who gets the least scenes, backstory, and general focus, but I still love her a lot. And they have a good dynamic together! I like that it starts off seeming like just a completely normal grandma granson relationship, but then you learn later that he’s adopted, and that he actually began as a spy for the evil empire who realized the error of his ways after infiltrating the town and finding so much love inside it. And then he’s just so scared cos blossom’s illness might bring her to an early grave, and he’s always being disobedient and rebellious because he wants to do anything to protect her even if she tells him not to put himself at risk and AAAAAA

why are there so many amazing fams and theres even so many small hints of characters who maybe only interact once or twice and then there’s room to headcanon even more fams and AAAAAA and the protagonist’s place in the complex web of fams is up to you to decide!! ITS LIKE EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED IN A GAME

oh and randomly I liked that xiao mei’s father isnt a major character in the game, but there’s not any tragic reason or anything. he’s just a travelling merchant and lin fa is very accepting of her husband being gone off on trips for long periods of time, she has every confidence he will never stray away from her and she supports him pursuing his travelling dreams! and also it was funny how his one brief appearance has him with the generic traveller 3d model, to point out how much he isnt a main character compared to his wife XD and it was just really cute how happy everyone was when he visited, and how the player accidentally helps improve their family business! and aaa the backstory story about arthur’s mother is SO DAMN SAD, and dolce’s biological parents who she left behind when she sacrificed her life, and just AAAAA even the tiny one-line-only minor fams are such quality fams FAMS GAME REVENGE OF THE FAMS

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Huh! An Idea!

Hey I just heard about a very cool-seeming anime called (I think?) Rehibilitaion Of An MMO Junkie! It seems really nice cos its one of those stories about hikkomori (I think thats the japanese word for it?)- depressed people who stay at home all day and are socially anxious about going out in public. LOL RELATEABLE, AMIRITE? no but seriously beyond just Jokes, this is a very sad modern manifestation of a timeless mental illness, and i know these feelings well and i wish people could have less stigma about this and instead just give these people the help they need. And that’s why i love this anime concept, cos its a sympathetic take on one of these people as a protagonist, and how videogames as escapism can be A Good Thing and how long distance relationships Are Also Good. Like wtf, subverting all the cliches at once?? Its a really cute looking romance story of her meeting a guy online via vidjagaems, and their love being absolutely real and pure, and it rekindling her will to live and helping her find the courage to take more risks in real life and start the road to recovery. And then they work thru all their various issues as a couple and meet up in real life and have a happily ever after! :D

Now okay, that sounds really cool and I ABSOLUTELY want to watch this show and I will make more posts about it when I do! But also it gave me a bit of a story idea so i’m gonna ramble!!!!!

Okay so kind of a wasted potential thing here is how it has a plot about the two halves of the couple playing as the opposite gender online and like.. nothing is done with it? Nothing really creative or relevant to like.. gender. It just seems like a weird way they could invoke LGBT imagery but technically not be LGBT I guess? Like neither character is trans or has any deep reason for playing that character except ‘my fave colour is pink and people would make fun of me if they knew i was a dude’ and ‘i wanna play a hot guy cos i was kinda lonely and drunk when i saw this MMO’. But then a lot of stuff about it kinda feels like the writers were.. not predjudiced against LGBT or anything?? like the lady protag has NO angst about getting a crush on a seemingly female player, it seems perfectly acceptable in-universe and nobody even mentions homophobia. And there’s a pair of characters that for all extents and purposes looks like a gay couple for half of the game its just like a footnote that one of them is female in real life. So like I don’t know if this was someone being overly careful to censor stuff while still hinting at it, or like if it was never intended to look LGBT and it was all a weird accident?? But anyway thats why it made me go WTF THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH POTENTIAL IN AN LGBT MMO ROMANCE and hey here we go!

THE IDEA TIME what if there was an anime about someone who plays a (presumed) cis dude in an mmo who is actually a trans dude irl? so you could have the same plots about keeping a secret and having a big difference between real and internet personas, but also it could be a wish fullfillment persona and the plot could be less about ‘i’m lying about myself’ and more about ‘the only place i can be the real me is online’. And how sad that is and then how triumphant it could be at the end to be able to be himself in the real world too! and also like... its already coincidental enough that two people would fall in love in an mmo and then end up to be living in the same neighbourhood in real life. so if this anime has me have to believe that silliness, its not too silly to say that two trans people could bump into each other in an mmo! have a trans man and a trans woman who meet as their online personas without knowing either of them is trans, and then their adventures online forming their relationship, learning about each othr, and like meeting a bunch of other LGBT players and forming a guild to fight discrimination in the mmo community?

Also it could be interesting to maybe combine this with the ‘trapped in an mmo world’ genre? Like it’d be extra cool to be a trans dude who’s like.. one of the only people who doesnt want to escape the MMO world. And people could think he’s just a childish jerk who’s addicted to the fantasy life, not knowing about his secret reason he loves this new life. So maybe his personality could be a very ordinary and cute looking dude whose personality is like.. absolutely fearless monster battle man! Like everyone else’s mmo avatars are all super idealized cliche buff and hot people and his is just as close as he could get to his real self but post transition. So he’s five foot tall and chubby and has big ol soulful dragon ball Z krillin eyes and then his job class is something unfitting like gladiator or barbarian with an axe twice his body size! And then in retrospect that’s the most cliche masculine class so maybe the female lead could be a not cliche feminine class, so it doesnt seem like I’m making any statement? cos ‘youre not trans if you dont act stereotypically your gender’ is a real issue within the community, sadly. Oh! Maybe! Maybe theyre both buff classes! But like he could be a tank type that protects his allies and she’s just a regular warrior with no extra functionality. Or another DPS class like thief or black mage? But I like the idea of two very shy and adorable people who both prefer buffness, and then having kind of a badass hero role amoungst their guild and the plot itself. Like, winning the actual battles against bosses is less of a challenge than conquering their various real life worries and being emotionally ready to return home at the end of the journey. Its like a slice of life hiding as an action show! Except you still do see action, its just all comparatively effortless like one punch man. Oh and maybe while male lead made his avatar look just like himself but post transition, female lead’s avatar is kind of an exaggerated ideal stereotypical female thing? Because she’s self concious about being very tall and not very curvy and stuff, even post transition. And like she’s angsting about being forced into further cosmetic plastic surgery that she doesn’t really want, to get a body that she doesn’t really want, but feels like she HAS to have. Like maybe she has some sort of friend in real life who’s like a Fedora Wearing Fake Nice Guy who keeps trying to get her to give in and date him like ‘you’ll never get anyone else’, and trying to make her change herself. Negging champion of utter hateability!

And then female lead could be kind of a mentor role to male lead because she’s post transition, and motivates him to believe that someday he’ll be able to transition too and he doesn’t need to stay trapped forever in a fake world in order to be himself. And he could also be the same mentor role to her because he’s like... happy? Well, obviously he isn’t 100% happy because that’s his whole problem, but he doesn’t have the same social anxiety issues and he’s more confident in his anxiety without worrying that he’s wrong and he really is a girl, etc etc. Like he’s at peace with being trans and his obstacle is just feeling like he’ll never pass successfully without surgery, and never be able to get that surgery. It took him ages to even get on HRT, possibly because of something like being trapped in an abusive family that didnt aknowledge his gender? or possibly just because of being in a country where he’d need a lot of money to get the treatment he needs, or because of struggling to find a good doctor? So anyway now he’s just started HRT and he expected everything to be okay now, but he’s getting frustrated how long it’s taking to have the amount of visual change he needs to be respected by his coworkers and stuff, and now he’s had some sort of other money emergency and he may not be able to get top surgery in the end. So at the time of starting this MMO he was really un-optimistic about his future and looking for an escape. And she was looking for a similar escape because she didnt have any support group while transitioning, and had got trapped into an abusive relationship with this other dude that was making her feel like a fake woman who’d never be loved by anyone except him. So she was considering giving in and falling into his trap, and that’s her reason to be terrified of going back to the real world... And so they both are all OH MY GOD YOURE SO AMAZING I’M SO TRASH about each other, and they help teach each other two different aspects of self love that they were missing, and they make a bunch of other friends in the LGBT community, and generally find the love and support they always needed! And then in the end they could go back to the real world and move in together and slap negging man in the face, and keep in touch with all the other guildmates and create a better community for all queer folks playing this game! Woo! And also maybe the final scene could be like ‘wow we havent seen you guys for ages’ ‘yeah we were so busy with the wedding, we couldnt play!’ and then the guild’s wedding gift to them was saving up for a rare ingame item that lets you re-customize your character, and female lead makes one that looks closer to her real life appearance cos now she’s happy with herself! and then we pan out and see that male lead now also looks totally identical to his ingame self, and he did manage to transition in the end! ...and then i dunno, cliche anime everyone looks at the camera and jumps and the theme tune plays, lol