#and everyone else's stuff gets to play second fiddle

[mantisgodsdomain]

When we say "sex is a comedy" we mean it. And we also mean that tacking "sexy" onto any random activity makes it funnier. People will assign sex and romance to anything and when you start arbitratily assigning Sexy and Romantic to activities you will understand why. Lighting romantic candles. Sexily draping into bed to write hot, steamy romance (maiming people). Hot boygirl power outage.

[kingofthe-egirls]

SITTING PRETTY: LUFFY x Y/N

(cw: alcohol, kitsune, east blue crew, yes i was imagining the opla cast but so were you, kissing, sitting in someone’s lap)

(a/n: this was so fun. smut maybe coming soon? we’ll see)

Songs: “Hotel” by Claire Rosinkranz

words: 1.2k

Luffy is staring at you.

He’s sitting across the campfire from you, sipping a glass of milk through a straw. You have your own moscow mule in hand, the copper mug sweating with cold condensation.

The air smells like smoke.

“So!” Luffy speaks, twirling his straw around in his drink. He slurps it loudly before continuing, “Let’s play a game!”

He smiles around at the rest of the crew, who are all in their own various states of intoxication. It’s been a long night, after several days at sea with no islands in sight. Everyone is a little bored, a little stressed, and more than a little in need of blowing off some steam. Nami shrugs.

“Sure, captain. What’s up?”

Luffy leans forward, wicked smirk painting his charming features. You stare down into your melted ice and muddled mint leaves.

“Let’s play truth or dare!”

Zoro sighs, but leans forward too. Sanji and Usopp also perk up. The Merry creaks in the waves as she sails. The ocean laps at her sides, soothing and peaceful in the summer night air. The campfire sparks up with a flare.

Luffy slurps his milk.

“What are the stakes?” Nami asks, adjusting in her seat, her boots slung over one another as she leans back. Usopp is fiddling with his slingshot.

Zoro shrugs, “Drink if you won’t take a dare, drink twice if you won’t take a truth.”

“So, we’re trying to outmatch each other? Get stuff we won’t wanna do?”

“Sorta,” Zoro says, “S’alright with everyone?”

“Sounds fun,” you admit, downing your glass before handing it off to Sanji. He’s a sucker for your sparkly eyes and fluffy tails. Your ears flick back and forth, excited. Nervous.

Sanji hurries back with a refill.

He straightens his suit jacket before sitting back down. The indigo night washes over him with a flattering, velvet softness. You wonder what shade of blue his eyes are, up close.

Luffy clears his throat.

“Sooo, who wants to go first?” His shining eyes scan the crew, and you flick up a tail (or two). He smiles, and takes a sip of his kid’s drink.

You sigh. “Truth,” you say, staring at Nami. You figure she’s gonna strike the worst, so might as well get it over with first. She stares at you, flicking her eyes up and down your scrappy frame. She arches an auburn brow.

“So, Kitty,” she sips her cider, and Sanji shifts in his seat. “Have you ever had sex before?”

She’s smiling, devilish, as you snort through your drink. She laughs as you cough, orange hair swaying in the soft breeze. Everyone else stutters and laughs, and Zoro mutters something about “starting off strong.” You swallow, sucking your teeth as you swirl melted ice around your drink.

“Yes.”

Everyone sighs out in relief, tension removed for a second of release.

Your eyes flick up to hers.

“Your turn.”

She stares back at you: a challenge.

“Dare.”

You shrug, mouth turned down, “I dare you to say when the last time you had sex was.” You stare at her glare, as she clocks you basically just gave her a truth anyway. She sniffs.

“Last week.”

“Liar!” You say, and she giggles. You shove the bottle of tequila closer to her, and she swallows what is certainly more than just one shot.

“Your turn,” she says to Zoro, who glances at Luffy for his prompt.

Luffy stares at the floor, now-empty glass held loosely in slender fingers. “What…is your favorite color?”

“I didn’t say truth, captain,” Zoro snorts, “Truth or dare, Luffy.”

“Dare?”

Sanji sighs, and Usopp says “we might as well go with it,” so Zoro sighs and starts to think of something to dare his already-reckless captain with. He settles on something silly, and tame.

“I dare you to slingshot back and forth across the ship five times.”

Happy to be moving, your hyperactive friend shoots up and starts gum-gum rocketing across the ship with no small amount of shouting. You swirl the mint leaves in your drink. “Your turn,” you murmur to Usopp, who gives Sanji a glance.

“Truth or dare?” The chef asks, his own glass of wine clutched in his delicate fist. It’s as dark as the sea.

“Truth.”

“What do Kaya’s lips taste like?”

The group ooo’s in scandalous delight, all eyes on the sniper as he stares down into his drink. “Pass,” he says, and takes a huge slurp. It dribbles down his chin. “Who’s turn is next?”

“Sanji,” you say, turning to him with a smile, “Truth or dare, handsome?”

He blushes at your pet name, and someone coughs. The blond boy licks his lips. His eyes meet yours, reflecting the fire’s red heat.

“Dare.”

“Kiss my cheek,” you preen, tails flicking around you. You bare the side of your face to him, sitting pretty by the campfire. Your scrappy jeans have stitched-on patches, and your crop top hangs loose around your frame. A single pendant hangs around your neck, and your hair is twisted into messy braids. You knock your steel-toed boots together.

Sanji hums, peaceful, as he delicately scoots toward you. He’s already sitting next to you, tall legs and broad shoulders bumping into yours as he settles closer in. His hand is slightly cool as it graces the side of your neck. “Be still, pretty,” he whispers, just for you, as he presses a slow smooch against your cheek. He bites it, playfully, and you swat him away with a fearsome blush.

Usopp giggles, and Nami snorts into her cider again. Zoro and Luffy are both silent. You swallow, and cast about the crew for someone else’s turn. “Is it me again?” You ask, and Zoro nods.

“Truth or dare?” He says, sake almost drained from his bottle. The air stills, sudden breeze gone quiet as you sit together. You curl two tails around yourself, petting the soft, arctic fur in your lap. It scratches against the striped patch on the side of your left hip.

“Truth.”

“Nope,” Zoro says, swigging his sake, “Truth is boring. You’re doing a dare. Sit in the lap of the person you’d most like to have sex with.”

Everyone gasps, except for you.

Your eyes burn with smoke, staring down the swordsman across the crackling flames. Sparks shoot up between you, orange and hazy in the moonlight. Something thumps against the ship; a fish or a shark that swims away silently.

You stand.

Sanji shifts, still close to you from his kiss. He scratches the fabric of his slacks above his left knee. His shoes are shiny and black beneath the stars. You step over them, carefully.

And you make your way across the circle, slowly as a shark circling prey.

“Sorry,” you whisper, standing in front of the captain who saved you, “Is this seat taken?”

He stares at you.

His breath comes ragged and hazy, as he sets his glass down to make room. His hands are sweaty, so he wipes them off on his shorts as you stand beside his hip. He leans back, slightly, to let you sit side-saddle across his legs. He shifts on the deck so he’s cross-legged, and you take your seat with a searing blush. Your ass fits neatly into the space between his crisscrossed legs, his heat spilling into your body as he wraps his arms around your waist.

He nuzzles into your cheek, his soft hair tickling your jaw. “Sleeping in my hammock tonight,” he whispers, his lips in your hair, “Captain’s orders.”

****

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 23 ⤍ left 4 dead

​​you switched the screen from the "starting soon" animation to your face cam, flashing a quick smile before going  into your introduction.

"i honestly have no idea what i'm doing today," you confessed to the stream, leaning back in your chair. "so it would be really great if one of my friends watching could hop on and play games with me." 

almost instantly, a message popped up in chat.

jenaissante am i one of your friends 👉🏼👈🏼

"i would assume so. would you like to play games with me, yunjin?"

jenaissante yes pls jenaissante i'm getting food rn jenaissante inv me though

you only saw the first message and didn't invite her, instead scrolling through the chat, searching for someone else.

_chaechae_1 can i play?

"yeah, of course, chaewon," you replied casually.

jenaissante how dare u say yes to chaewon when i asked u first

you squinted at the screen, confused. "wait, did you say something? i didn't see it."

jenaissante fake —permanently banned

your eyes widened. "wait, shit! i didn't mean to ban you, i was trying to check the logs!" you broke into a laugh as you quickly unbanned her.

jenaissante just say u don't fk with me

"i swear i didn't see it! you said you were getting food, then 'invite me' a second later. how was i supposed to know?"

jenaissante can't believe you hate me

"just get your food and join us," you said.

jenaissante okay

you hopped on a call with chaewon, brainstorming what games to play. the two of you tossed out random suggestions, but each idea was quickly shot down due to the number of players needed or a lack of interest in the game. finally, yunjin joined the call—still eating, so not much help in the decision-making process.

"let's play left 4 dead 2," you suggested, scrolling through your steam library.

"isn't that for four players?" chaewon asked.

"yeah, but how hard can it be to find one more?" you shrugged. with everyone in agreement, you immediately started looking for a fourth.

"i've got a fourth!" you announced.

"who?" yunjin asked, curious.

"just a girl i know," you said cryptically.

"what girl?" yunjin pressed.

"you'll find out when she gets here"

"wait... is it kazuha?" chaewon guessed.

"uh, no, she's busy today," you replied.

"oh, right," chaewon nodded in understanding.

suddenly, yujin joined the call with a loud ping, interrupting the conversation.

"oh, it's just yujin," chaewon said casually.

"just yujin?" yujin echoed, clearly offended.

"not like that!" chaewon chuckled. "y/n was talking about you like you were some random girl we'd never met."

"i literally said she's a girl i know, which isn't a lie," you defended.

you booted up the game and invited chaewon, yunjin, and yujin to your lobby. everyone picked their characters as you fiddled with the settings.

"what difficulty should i pick?" you asked the group.

"maybe advanced?" yujin suggested.

"or, you know, maybe normal?" chaewon said, her voice laced with caution.

"we can handle expert. we've got this," yunjin declared confidently.

"can we, though?" you asked, skeptical.

"of course! we're pro gamers," yunjin insisted.

"you know what? you're right. expert it is," yujin agreed, backing her up.

"i don't agree with this at all, but sure," chaewon muttered.

sighing, you set the difficulty to expert, not trusting yunjin or yujin at all but just wanting to see what happens.

user2 we'll see how long that lasts user3 "they're not even lasting a minute" is winning the polls by a landside rn user4 betting all my points on them losing rn

the game loaded in, and as usual, you all messed with the controls to get comfortable. scanning the ground, you grabbed a weapon and glanced at everyone else's characters.

"wait... why is chaewon's character kinda hot?" you remarked suddenly.

"huhhhh?" yunjin blurted, totally caught off guard.

"y/n, you can't just say stuff like that," yujin laughed, trying to hold it in.

"i'm serious!" you continued. "her character just backed it up on me. y'all need to see this from my point of view."

as the first wave of zombies swarmed in, everything fell apart in record time. chaewon screamed as she died almost immediately, yujin calmly took out a few zombies, while yunjin panicked because of chaewon's freakout—only to die herself. you were just trying to help, but it was too late. you all died in less than a minute.

you quickly went to adjust the difficulty. "normal or advanced?" you asked, trying not to laugh.

"we died so fast!" yunjin laughed, still in disbelief.

"we can handle advanced," yujin suggested.

"no, we cannot," chaewon said, her voice sounding genuinely scared.

you set the difficulty to normal for the sake of chaewon, who seemed like she was actually traumatized from the previous events.

"no, we cannot," chaewon said, her voice sounding genuinely scared.

"everyone on the roller coaster," yunjin instructed, already making her way up the tracks.

you followed, but when yunjin turned around, she noticed chaewon still struggling at the bottom. "she's down there alone. she's not gonna make it."

"i am!" chaewon yelled, her voice laced with panic as she fought off the swarm of zombies below, while the rest of you were already perched at the top of the roller coaster tracks, watching her struggle.

"you gotta get up here!" yujin called out, her tone urgent.

"i'm trying!" chaewon replied, breathless.

"she's actually not gonna make it," you observed dryly.

before long, zombies started appearing at the top of the tracks, forcing all of you to engage in a fight. yujin was downed causing yunjin to freak out and looked to see chaewon stuck below, trying to fend off zombies and ultimately getting downed herself.

without hesitation, yunjin leapt down to save her. "i'll save you, chaewon!" she shouted, helping her back to her feet.

as soon as chaewon was revived, she announced, "i have a defibrillator! i can save yujin!"

meanwhile, yunjin called out, "i'm about to die!" as she sprinted up the roller coaster tracks.

"please don't," you muttered as you yourself were downed.

"y/n!" yunjin screamed from the other side of the tracks, panic evident in her voice.

yunjin and chaewon fought desperately to fend off the incoming horde, trying to revive at least one of you. but in the end, yunjin got downed too, leaving only chaewon to fight.

"teamwork did not make the dream work, yikes," you commented, leaning back in your chair.

"that's toxic, y/n," yunjin groaned.

"i'm coming back!" yunjin exclaimed as chaewon managed to help her back up.

"please don't," you deadpanned.

they finally revived yujin, but the zombie horde was relentless. despite your best efforts, it wasn't enough, and you were all taken down by the overwhelming hoard. the level had to be restarted, but at least you managed to beat it on the second try.

now that you all were in a safe room, the group decided it was time for a quick break before the next round. you took this time to turn your attention to chat, seeing a chat from kazuha causing you to smile at it.

k_a_z_u_h_a__ ain't no way ur playing with my roommates & not me rn

"are you jealous?" you asked in a teasing tone.

k_a_z_u_h_a__ and if i was?

"i would have invited you, but you were busy," you replied with a grin.

k_a_z_u_h_a__ :( k_a_z_u_h_a__ still messed up

user2 should we leave 🤨

"i'll play games with you next time then."

k_a_z_u_h_a__ :) k_a_z_u_h_a__ that works k_a_z_u_h_a__ gotta film now... k_a_z_u_h_a__ i'll miss u

"bye, kazuha. go do your job," you said, waving at the camera with a smile.

once kazuha logged off, you responded to a few more questions about the game and joked with your chat before the break ended. then it was time to lock back in for the next round.

"chaewon, behind you!" yunjin shouted, swinging a baseball bat wildly at the zombie chasing after chaewon's character. "this thing's so fast!"

chaewon let out a scream once she finally noticed, firing her gun with her eyes squeezed shut. somehow, she managed to kill the zombie.

"i got it, chae!" yunjin said triumphantly, smacking the now-dead zombie one last time for good measure.

"oh wow, thanks a lot," chaewon replied sarcastically. "really saved my life there."

before yunjin could respond, a spitter grabbed her character. "wait, huh? chae, help!" she called out, struggling.

chaewon just burst out laughing, watching yunjin's character get dragged away.

"why are you laughing? help me!" yunjin begged, "my character's gonna die! do something!"

chaewon kept laughing, only stepping in after yunjin's health hit was completely down.

"i was actually dying, and you just stood there laughing like a maniac," yunjin grumbled. "even after i saved you."

"oh, that was funny," chaewon said, still catching her breath.

a little later, yujin came up to you, wielding a chainsaw as you took down the last zombie in sight only for yujin to swing the chainsaw at you.

"what the fuck!" you yelped.

"oh, sorry! thought you were a zombie," yujin said with fake innocence.

"no, you didn't. don't lie to me," you laughed.

"i'm serious, i couldn't tell the difference!" yujin insisted.

"yeah, sure," you replied, shaking your head.

eventually, you all reached the safe room, the mid-level stats appeared on screen, detailing the damage each of you had dealt. once your characters were back in view, everyone reloaded their weapons, patched up any wounds, and stocked up on ammo and supplies, prepping for the next onslaught.

"alright, last level. let's go," yunjin said with determination prompting you to open the door.

"yippee! last level!" chaewon cheered, her voice full of excitement.

"we're professionals now," yunjin boasted confidently, with chaewon echoing, "professional gamers!"

"seasoned at this point," yunjin added.

the mood was light as you ventured out, shooting the few zombies that outside near the safe room. things were manageable until chaewon's panicked scream rang out.

"behind us! oh god, they're behind us!"

user5 instant chaos 😭

you whipped around, guns blazing as yujin tossed a boomer bile into the horde, and you got out of there following behind chaewon who was now heading up some bleachers. as you were a prompt came up to start the stage lighting.

"do i start this?" yunjin asked, eyeing a prompt to activate the stage lights. before anyone could answer, she hit it.

"oh—we have to survive here," yujin noted, already scanning for a place to take cover.

"there's some medkits up here!" chaewon called out.

the notification flashed across the screen: rescue is coming! defend yourselves.

"alright! where are we holding out?" yunjin asked.

"under the main stage," yujin suggested, and both you and chaewon agreed.

with that, the fight began. molotovs flew, bullets sprayed, and zombies kept pouring in, all while the stage lights burst like fireworks overhead.

"yujin, behind you!" yunjin yelled, saving her from a sneak attack.

"thank you," yujin replied, barely catching her breath.

"i got the right side!" chaewon called out, steady in her role.

"i got all the sides... except for the ones i don't," yunjin quipped.

"we're literally destroying them," yujin remarked confidently. "this is easy."

"too easy," yunjin agreed.

just as the lights flickered out and the zombies seemed to stop coming, you were about to relax.

"that's... it?" you muttered.

"i knew we would end them," yujin said proudly.

you were about to reply when chaewon's voice cut through. "guys..."

"it's just one. we'll mow it down," yunjin said dismissively.

"yeah," chaewon echoed.

as you focused on the tank approaching, chaos struck again—a jockey rode yujin, dragging her health down fast. you quickly intervened, freeing her before returning your attention to the tank.

"wait... it's not dying," yunjin exclaimed in disbelief, continuing to unload bullets.

"he's so big," chaewon groaned.

"oh, wait, it is now!" yunjin cried as the tank finally fell, everyone cheering as victory seemed close.

but then, another swarm appeared. zombies flooded the bleachers, and yujin was slammed to the ground by a charger. chaewon, wielding an axe, rushed in to save her, only to face yet another tank. the group barely managed to set it on fire and take it down as the rescue helicopter appeared overhead.

another notification flashed across the screen: rescue has arrived! get aboard

you and chaewon scrambled up the bleachers while yujin held her own on stage, fighting off the remaining zombies. but just as she made it to you, chaewon was downed. yunjin ran to help but got downed herself.

yujin threw a molotov to clear the area but ended up setting both you and chaewon on fire in the process. "both chaewon and yunjin are down! we can't go without them," yujin said urgently.

"i'm coming, give me a sec!" you yelled as you fought through the flames to revive yunjin.

"just run to the helicopter!" you shouted once yunjin was back on her feet.

as you made your escape, yunjin got downed again. yujin, torn between survival and saving her friend, paused. "i can't leave without her!" she cried, fighting off zombies. but eventually, she gave in. "actually, i might have to leave her," yujin said, backing away.

"yujin! what the fuck!" yunjin shouted as yujin left her behind.

"sorry, i gotta put me first," yujin quipped as she headed to the helicopter with you and chaewon.

"wait, we can't leave without chaewon," you said.

"you right, we can't leave her, and by we i mean you two" yujin agreed staying near the helicopter, far from the danger.

"i have a defibrillator!" you said, rushing to revive yunjin.

"alright, i'll cover you," chaewon promised, while yujin hung back in her safe zone.

you called for help, taking damage while trying to get yunjin up. "wait, help me!"

chaewon hesitated but eventually stepped forward, just as yujin climbed into the helicopter. "pilot, you can leave now."

"what do you mean, leave?" you snapped.

before you knew it, the helicopter left with only yujin aboard. the sound of her triumphant laughter echoed in your headset.

"yujin, you left?!" chaewon's disbelief was palpable.

"ain't no way," yunjin muttered.

in memory of:

chaechae jenaissante gameryn

"i went to get a medkit for chaewon, and they killed me for it," yunjin said.

"in memory of us minus yujin's bitch ass" you said.

"don't worry, you'll be going in the autobiography for sure," yujin reassured like that meant anything.

"it's so on brand. yujin would leave us in a zombie apocalypse," chaewon sighed.

yujin just laughed in response.

"wow. you're not even gonna try and defend yourself?" you asked, incredulous.

"y'all wouldn't believe me anyway," yujin said casually.

"damn right! you left us!" yunjin exclaimed.

"if we ever end up in this situation for real, i'm sacrificing you first," you said firmly.

"fair," yujin responded, still laughing.

after the game, the group spent a few minutes laughing and recapping the best moments, mentioning yujin's betrayal and the chaos that ensued. once everyone said their goodbyes and left the call, you sighed in relief, finally able to settle in for some one-on-one time with your chat to debrief without the noise of the rest of the group. 

user6 yujin really said "every man for himself" lmao

user7 ofc yujin would be the one to leave

user8 yujin's betrayal arc, wow...

user9 left 4 dead (literally)

user0 no mercy, no loyalty, just vibes

user1 yujin's so real for that

“never inviting yujin to another lobby again,” you declared, shaking your head. you spent a few moments catching up on donations and responding to messages you missed during the game before wrapping up the stream with your usual outro.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[yanderepuck]

Hi! Can I get an angst/comfort fic of Arthur with a female s/o who is depressed and suicidal? Like he walks in on his s/o c*tting while having a mental breakdown? Or he just notices the cuts/scars? Or he walks in on his s/o bl33ding out?? Idk you can get creative with it I’ve just been having an extremely rough couple months. If this makes you uncomfortable then you can just ignore this request, but thanks anyways! I hope you have a great day/night!! <3

SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG. I was so focused on Charles that I couldn't work on anything else.

BUT I LOVE WRITING THIS KINDS OF STUFF BC ITD ALSO MINI THERAPY FOR ME

THAT BEING SAID!!!!! READER!!! YOU READ THE ASK!! YOU ARE AWAY OF THE TRIGGERS IN THIS FIC!!!

I highly appreciate when you guys interact and reblog my fics. But I also completely understand why not everyone can read this kind of material.

He notices everything. Everything but the important parts. But to be honest. You aren't quite sure if you want him to notice.

You have mini arguments with yourself about wanting him to know wanting anyone to know. You just want someone to know how much pain you are in. But then there's the side that says that no one can know. No one can find out.

Even if he were to bring it up you would probably just deny it.

You keep your sleeves down. You make sure you are the only one in the thermae. You're just glad it isn't summer. You can get away with saying it's a bit chilly in the mansion.

Every morning you slap a smile on your face, and the moment you get to your room the whole act drops.

You just recently relapsed. Under your sleeves your forearms are covered in bandages. Arthur keeps getting close and wrapping his arms around you, telling you how the two of you should go back to his room.

You tell him that it's that time of the month and even though he's a vampire, you say that you aren't comfortable with it, and would rather sleep alone.

Without much of a care you go to your room. You gave him a peck on the cheek and that was it. Needless to say it wasn't a very convincing excuse.

You loved him, you really did. But right now you wanted to be alone. No. That's a lie. You don't want to be alone, but you feel like you should be alone, like you deserve to be alone.

You take your shirt off and unravel the bandages around your arm. They still look fresh.

You grab the razor blade you hide in your nightstand drawer along with a towel that is so very bloody. You sit on your bed and fiddle with the blade while you look down at your arm.

Where to do it? You don't want to cross over cuts. You aren't trying to kill yourself just yet so you don't want to get too close to the vein.

There's not much room left. But then you look beyond your arm. Your thighs.

You get your skirt off and start poking at your thigh with the edge of the blade wondering how hard you should press. Would any area be more pleasurable than another?

One way to find out.

The first cut is small and fairly shallow. Just a test.

The second cut is the same length but a little deeper. Now there's some blood.

The third cut got it just right.

The fourth. The fifth. The tenth. The eighteenth.

You realize you might have gone overboard. You didn't mean for this many, but it's a fresh spot. It needs to be covered.

Blood is dripping down your leg.

You are just about to wipe yourself with the towel when there's a knock at the door. Panic sets in.

Did you lock it? The scene of you walking in quickly plays through your head and you don't think you did.

"Give me a mo-"

You don't get a chance to finish and the door is being pushed open. You're just in your bra and underwear. You can't even cover yourself. You're stuck.

"I made you some tea and brought some-"

Arthur cut you off, and the sight in front of him got him speechless. Imagine. Arthur speechless.

The blade is in one hand, the bloody rag in the other, and tears in your eyes. This isn't how he should have found out. You aren't ready.

Arthur drops the tray he was holding and the tea and sweets make a mess on the floor. He rushes over to you and takes the blade from your hand.

You're frozen. You don't even realize he's talking to you, or that he's even touching you. You only snap out when he has his hands on your cheeks and he kisses you.

Tears rolling down his face. "Love....w..why didn't you tell me."

He's panicking with you, but for very different reasons.

"I... I..."

You don't have an answer. You don't have one. What are you supposed to tell him? That it feels good? That it makes you feel alive? That this is better than being a numb empty shell? This is your boyfriend in front of you.

Arthur gets some of his senses back and takes your shirt from the floor and presses it against your thigh to soak up and to stop the blood. The last few got deep. You started to get used to the new flesh.

He kisses you again. "Please say something," he keeps one hand on your cheek so you would look at him.

Your head was in his direction, but your eyes weren't. They were down. Not looking at anything in particular.

"I... I'm sorry," your voice cracks and the tears start. It's like a damn broke.

"Shhh. I'm here now," he lifts the shirt to see how the bleeding is, but then puts the shirt right back over the cuts.

"Everything is going to be okay now," he brushes the hair out of your face and behind your ear. He is now noticing the cuts on your forearm. He doesn't point them out but you can feel his eyes on them.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry," the tears come out harder. Using the back of your hand you try wiping them away.

"Here," h takes your hands and puts them on the shirt. "Keep those there while I go get some things, okay?"

Arthur's hands are stained red. He doesn't want to leave you but he wants to clean your wounds. He leaves and gathers the items he needs as quickly as he can. Paying no attention to anyone he might pass.

He wasn't gone long, and this time he closed the door when he came in.

You still have your hands on the shirt, sobbing. The scene didn't change. He slowly removes your hands and the shirt. With a clean damp towel he gently wipes your thigh to get rid of the extra blood.

"It's going to be okay," he talks softly and he isn't sure if it's for him or for you. "I'll make it all better."

He cleans up your thigh and pats it dry before putting an ointment on it. He isn't sure how well it will stay but he wraps a bandage around it as well. Kissing it once it's wrapped.

Then he looks at your arm and repeats the process. He never once asks why. That's not the right question right now.

By the end of it, he is covered in your blood but it doesn't phase him at all. He goes through your clothes and finds that one big comfy shirt that you like.

"Let's get this on," he puts it over your head and then realizes you will probably be comfier without the bra. He reaches around and unhooks it, helping you slip your arms out of the straps and though the arm holes of the shirt.

He can tell you're exhausted. Mentally and physically. He was going to do everything for you that he possibly could. He tosses your bra to the side and pulls the shirt all the way down.

"Let's lay down," he helps you down. You just about stopped crying, and now you feel even emptier than before. There's almost no life in your eyes.

"I love you," he tells you softly. His heart is still racing. His face is still wet. But he was going to do everything for you.

You reach out and grab his hand, holding it tightly, not wanting to be alone.

"Please... Please don't leave."

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," he kisses the back of your hand. "Let me clean up and I will lay with you, alright love?"

You don't want to let his hand go, but you trust him. You trust him more than anyone else that he wouldn't leave you like this.

He gives a weak smile and starts to clean up the floor, gathering your clothes, and cleaning up the tray he dropped. He just sets everything to the side.

He takes his own shirt off and adds it to the bloody pile before turning the lights off and crawling in bed with you.

He stays close, but enough to give you space. You weren't in the right headspace to have the talk right now, and he knew that. He would leave it for the morning.

"I love you more than anything," he kisses your cheek and holds your hand. "I would do anything for you."

"I... I'm..."

"Shh... We don't need to talk about it now. I just need you to rest. Doctors orders."

You simply nod your head. With all the crying, and panicking, you felt yourself getting exhausted.. you closed your eyes and tried to think of absolutely anything else to fall asleep.

[in-need-of-gally-content]

|Chapter•Thirty•Seven|

•|Masterlist|•

A heavy sigh escaped past (M/n)'s lips as he sat down on the small balcony of his treehouse, his feet dangling off the edge as he hadn't put the ladder down yet.

After finally falling asleep, a nightmare woke him up. He wasn't sure what it was about, all he could gather from it was the way his body felt. He was shivering, covered in goosebumps, sweating and with an intense feeling of fright.

Even if he wanted to, he couldn't go back to sleep, not after that. So he decided to simply wait until everyone else started waking up, there was stuff bothering him and he wanted to think about it. Besides, Gally and he still had a pending conversation from the day before.

Time passed as he remained sat on the balcony, staring off into the distance, and maybe an hour or two went by when he heard his name being called.

"(M/n)," he looked down and saw Gally standing there, looking up at him with a concerned look in his eyes, "Are you alright?"

There was no point in denying it, Gally wasn't blind, he could see he wasn't alright but he was still asking, just to make sure he wasn't being too invasive. (M/n) shook his head and stood up, "I had a nightmare."

"Again?" (M/n) grabbed the ladder and started lowering it to the ground, thanking Gally for helping him.

"Yeah... But I don't remember what it was," he signalled with his head at Gally to come up the stairs, which he did. (M/n) waited until they were both up on the balcony before sitting on the floor again, leaving space for Gally to sit next to him.

Neither of them said anything, and the silence had become slightly tense, but not uncomfortable, they were both thinking about what they should say during this situation.

"So..." (M/n) started, mumbling as he fiddled with his fingers, "That's Thomas, eh?"

Gally turned to look at him, and slowly nodded, "Seems like it, bean."

(M/n) let out a humourless chuckle as he shook his head in disbelief, almost finding the situation comical, "Well, that only makes things more confusing, and makes no shucking sense."

"Certainly does."

Everything went quiet again, the faint sound of the rest of the guys waking up was the only thing they could hear, well, that, and Bark's quiet snores, but it worked to get (M/n) lost in thought again.

"What do you... Remember about him?" Gally asked him after some time of debating, there was a possibility that (M/n) just remembered his name and nothing else about the greenie, but he wanted to know.

(M/n) thought about the question for a moment, before turning to look at the blond, he was playing with his fingers the same way he had just a little bit ago, his head tilted down and his jaw clenching every couple of seconds.

"He was... Determined to hurt you, and I don't know why, big guy," Gally scoffed with a grin that didn't reach his eyes.

"Then we have the same memories of him," (M/n) reached his hand out and slowly rubbed Gally's shoulder, "I always wondered what some of my scars were from, I simply figured I was an active kid, once upon a time..."

For a moment, he wondered which scars Gally was referring to as he hadn't really noticed that many on him anyway, and the ones that he noticed were from working as a Builder. However, he wasn't sure if he should ask.

"So... What do we do now?" He slouched over, placing his elbows on his legs and interlocking his hands together, wearing a subtle frown as he looked at Gally.

"We keep him in check, it's the only thing we can do," Gally said as he looked up and held eye contact with (M/n).

He nodded in agreement, even though he felt like there was something he could do besides watching over Thomas and his behaviour, he just didn't know what they could do about everything, even less in a situation like the one they were in.

"Well... I'm starving," Gally announced as he began making his way down the ladder, and (M/n) chuckled as he followed after.

"I could definitely use a cup of coffee this morning."

Breakfast was spent at the same table as always, talking and joking around with their friends while (M/n) sipped on his coffee.

At some point, just a few minutes after sitting down, (M/n) spotted the greenie when he walked into the dining area with his bowl of food, looking around like a lost puppy trying to find a place to sit and in the end, he sat down in a table with Newt, Alby, Chuck and a couple of other guys.

(M/n) continued talking with his friends the entire time he was there, but he could feel this heavy stare on him at all times, and the one time he looked around to try and figure out who the shuck was staring at him so intensely, he found out... It was Thomas.

//////

It was a while after lunch when Thomas spotted (M/n) in the distance. He saw him talking with Chuck, helping him with hanging the laundry and folding the dry and washed clothes.

Thomas glanced back at Newt and Zart while he continued working the gardens with them. He fidgeted in place as he continued staring off into the distance, at (M/n), watching how he smiled brightly and laughed, even though he couldn't exactly hear him, it was like... He had heard it many, many times before.

He felt the skin of his arms get covered in goosebumps as the feeling of emptiness inside him began to fade away, and something in his mind kept bothering him, telling him to go talk to (M/n).

Shifting his weight from one leg to another, he took a step forward, "Be right back..." He muttered before walking away.

"Greenie-!" Newt tried to call him over and probably go after him, but the sudden movement as he stood up, made a sharp pain shoot through his leg, causing him to hiss and catching Zart's attention.

"You okay, Newt?" He simply nodded with a frown and went back to work, "You sure? Maybe you should rest."

"Zart," he spoke rather sharply, and the Keeper stared at him, slightly caught off guard, "I'm fine, alright? Let's get back to work."

Zart nodded and did as told while Newt kept staring at Thomas' back, shaking his head before turning back to continue working.

"Hey," (M/n) stopped walking and turned around, coming face to face with the greenie- Thomas. He stopped right in front of him, maybe just too close, making (M/n) take a half-step back, which didn't go unnoticed by the brunet male, "Do we know each other?"

The start of their conversation was pretty straight forward and his stoic expression didn't waver, so (M/n) tried his best to remain composed and unaffected by his question.

"I don't think so, greenie," with his short and cold answer, (M/n) began turning around to leave, but Thomas didn't like that answer, his answer didn't feel honest, it was more like a lie, even though he had no way to prove it other than his gut feeling.

"Can you not call me 'greenie'?" He hoped that his words would work as a way to let (M/n) he didn't mean harm, which he didn't, actually.

"Shuckface then," even if he had no idea what that word even meant, he had a hunch of what it was and that made him sigh at (M/n)'s immediate answer, lifting his arms in defeat.

"You don't like me, do you?" Thomas noticed the subtle smug grin appear on (M/n)'s face.

"How perceptive," he replied mockingly and Thomas frowned, fidgeting in place and briefly glancing down at the ground.

"Have I done something to you?" (M/n) held his breath as he inhaled and bit the tip of his tongue before slowly releasing the air.

You've done plenty... To Gally...

He managed to not mutter those words out loud since it would only bring more problems around, mentioning his dreams to the greenie probably wouldn't be the wisest choice, it would freak him out and make himself look stupid or crazy.

So maybe this was the time to just leave and go back to work, "Why don't you just mind your business, shank? You have a job to do," he tilted his head back and signalled toward the gardens, where Newt kept sparing glances at them.

He took a step back, eager to be done with their conversation, or more like interrogation really, and stay away from Thomas.

"Hey, I just wanna be your friend," Thomas held his wrist, making (M/n) stop and lean away from him, clenching his jaw as he contemplated pushing him away, "Maybe you should get to know before deciding you hate me, (M/n)."

Oh... He did not like the way Thomas said his name... It made shivers run down as his spine and his whole body tense, but he didn't let himself show just how affected he was by something so insignificant as his name being said.

"I don't need to know anything about you, Thomas," and with that, he pulled himself away from the greenie's hold and turned around, walking back to his friends.

///////

A while after spending time with the Builders, roughly ten minutes later (M/n) went in the Deadheads. He didn't really have a reason for it, he just wanted to walk around for a bit, mostly to think about things, specifically to think about Thomas, and that's what he was doing.

He walked for a short while, when he heard a stick cracking under someone's weight, and judging by the distance, it wasn't under his boot, so he looked up toward the sound.

It was a Runner, judging by his vest gear, tall and blond, short hair...

"Ben?" He called out his name, slightly unsure if it was actually him, and (M/n) watched as he moved his head to the side, slowly looking over his shoulder, directly into his (e/c) eyes.

Something felt wrong about him and he realized how sickly his complexion looked the moment the Runner turned around and took a step toward him, the sunlight coming through the leaves landing on him, giving (M/n) more visual detail of what was going with him.

His skin was pale, really pale, he almost looked dead with how grey his skin seemed to have turned. His lips were a mix of purple and black, he was shaking aggressively and sweating profusely.

Even if his state scared him just a little bit, Ben was a Glader, a brother, and he needed help, so taking him to Clint and Jeff was the logical thing to do in this situation.

"Are you okay?" He tried to take a step toward the blond, worried about him, but Ben, without uttering a single word, ran at him. (M/n) was startled and caught off guard, but Ben's arms were wrapped around his shoulders before he could run away.

He struggled against his hold for a moment, scared out of his mind and not really registering Ben's incoherent babbling, however, he kept repeating words, eventually making more sense as he said them over and over again.

"You found us- you did- you're finally here-," (M/n) frowned as his struggling came to a stop, trying to understand what Ben was saying, "Why are you here?- we'll leave- you shouldn't be here-" and repeat, putting bits and pieces together but not really understanding what he wanted to say, as if he couldn't stay focus on one sentence at a time.

"(M/n)?" He looked over Ben's shoulder, and spotted the greenie, and at the sound of his voice, the blond male completely froze in place for a second before slowly starting to turn around, his demeanour drastically changing as he stared at Thomas, who didn't seem to notice dangerous aura around the Runner, "Oh! You're Ben, right? I don't know if we've-" Thomas took a step forward, and Ben's breathing started to pick up as it got more laboured and quiet growls could be heard coming from him, "Hey, are you okay?"

"Greenie, I don't think-," Before (M/n) could get more than a few words out, Ben ran at Thomas and threw himself on him as he had caught them off guard, "Ben!"

(M/n) rushed to help the greenie as he struggled to get Ben off of him, which didn't really work. He tried pulling the blond off of Thomas, which wasn't really working either.

"Is your fault, you did this, I saw you," his voice was rather quiet, hard for them to hear, "I saw you!" His grip around Thomas' wrists tightened, as his fingernails dug into the skin of his arms, making him scream out in pain.

"Ben...!" (M/n) called out his name as he tried to hold him down, but he seemed to have unnatural strength, and when (M/n) saw him holding his hands around Thomas' throat, he knew he had to help the greenie now, "For shuck's sake..."

He wrapped his arm around Ben's neck, his bicep pressing against the blond's throat and he pulled back, successfully making Ben release Thomas as his grip weakened because of the lack of airflow, and the greenie stumbled out from under them and tripped a couple of times as he began running away.

Ben continued struggling against the hold around his neck, the lack of oxygen made it hard to break free as he wasn't strong enough to pry (M/n)'s arm off of him, and piercing his skin open like he had done with Thomas wasn't working, if anything, he was holding him tighter.

So he had no other option.

"Sorry, (M/n)..." He muttered a second before swinging his head back, and hitting (M/n) as hard as he could, finally making the (h/c) haired male release him and stumble back.

Ben took his chance and started running after Thomas, knowing he was fast enough to catch up to him.

(M/n) fell back on the dirt but managed to hold himself up with his hands, sitting on the ground as his vision moved around and turned blurry. That hit was definitely a hard one. He was disoriented and slightly nauseous as everything spun around without his consent.

He crawled forward for a short while, trying to make his brain understand that he was okay, and that the world wasn't spinning this fast, just enough for him to be able to stand up back on his feet.

He knew just how fast Ben was and while the greenie did seem pretty fast, he probably had low stamina, so he really had to get up and run after them, just to make sure that Ben wouldn't kill Thomas in less than twenty-four hours since his arrival.

Groaning and struggling, (M/n) pulled himself back up on his feet and closed his eyes tight for a moment before he decided to run after them.

"Shuck..." He cursed to the air as he placed one foot in front of the other, picking up the pace until he was running, the cool air hitting his face really helped with his dizziness so he continued and finally, he caught sight of them down a small hill. He slid down and chased after them.

"Help!" Thomas screamed for his life and Ben tackled him to the ground. He picked up the pace and threw himself onto Ben, rolling on the grass a few times before ending up on top of him, fighting to hold his arms down.

"Look at me...!" He tried telling him but the Runner refused to look his way, focused on Thomas who was still on the ground, coughing, "Ben, look at me!" His loud scream finally worked to catch his attention, and Ben's blue eyes landed on him, staring into his (e/c) eyes.

"(M/n), you're here- why are you- no, you shouldn't-," his babbling came back but he didn't get a chance to pay attention to any of it, he heard some of the guys running toward them and continuously asking 'what happened', which Thomas responded to.

"He just attacked me!"

(M/n) sighed and blinked slowly, feeling a headache making its way inside his skull, and when his eyes opened he noticed something.

There were... Blue, purple and black veins showed through Ben's pale skin on his neck, just barely peeking through the collar of his shirt.

"Gally, hold him down," he said without tearing his eyes away from Ben, and he released his arms as soon as Gally held them down by his head.

Without wasting time, (M/n) reached Ben's shirt and pulled it up, exposing a hole on his right side, his skin purple and surrounded by protruding black veins, growing more and more as they extended all across his body. Everyone around who had a clear vision gasped at what they were seeing.

"He's been stung... In the middle of the day?" Gally asked, looking up at Alby.

(M/n) did the same, wanting to ask if there was anything they could do to help Ben, and with that single movement, he showed everyone how blood dripped from his nose down his chin and neck, something he himself hadn't even noticed at all.

"Bean...!" Gally let go of Ben's arms to move closer to (M/n), and thankfully, Newt had quick enough reflexes to hold the Runner down instead.

"I'm fine, big guy," (M/n) mumbled at Gally as the Keeper tried to hold his face to check the damage done to his nose and if there was anything else.

"At least let the Med-jacks stop the bleeding, okay?" (M/n) stared at Gally, and sighed as he nodded, unable to refuse his petition, "Alright, come on," Gally proceeded to hold his hands and slowly helped him back up on his feet.

He stumbled a step back as he did and he closed his eyes as the dizziness came back, thankfully, he was able to hold himself onto Gally as the blond kept a secure hold on him.

"Okay, let's find you a place to sit," Gally helped him walk closer to the treeline, where the Med-jacks were already taking Thomas to treat his injuries, "Alby," he called the Leader, who stood in place with his arms crossed, a serious expression on his face as he watched the Gladers fight to hold Ben still.

"Take him to the pit," Ben started violently trashing around to fight everyone off of him, "Gally, help them," he wanted to refuse Alby's words, he didn't want to leave (M/n)'s side as he clearly wasn't alright, "I'll take care of (M/n). I promise."

(M/n) looked at Gally and showed him a small smile, "Go, I'll be fine," and with that, Gally nodded and waited until Alby got a hold of (M/n) before turning around to pick Ben off the ground.

"Med-jacks!" Newt called them over as they rushed to help.

"To the pit!" Gally exclaimed as they picked him up and began making their way to the Slammer.

"Here, let's sit down," Alby guided (M/n) to the log that worked as a bench, "They'll be back as soon as they make sure Ben won't hurt himself."

(M/n) sat down next to Thomas and spotted Chuck walking closer to them, sitting somewhere behind them and the familiar sound of wood carving reached his ears.

"I'll be back in a bit," Alby patted (M/n)'s shoulder and reached for something inside the pocket of his pants, "Here, use this."

(M/n) got handed a piece of fabric that probably worked as a handkerchief, "Thanks," he nodded and grabbed it, wiping away some of the fresh blood dripping down his face.

"Um... Thank you for... Helping me," (M/n) turned to look at Thomas and released a humourless chuckle.

"I wasn't gonna let him kill you, greenie."

//////

A while after, Jeff stopped by and began treating Thomas' injuries while Clint took care of (M/n), he cleaned the blood, made sure the scratches on his arm weren't too bad and brought him some frozen peas in a sealed package to help with the swelling of his nose, and thankfully, Clint assured him that there didn't seem to be signs of a commotion, which he was glad about.

"Thanks, C," the Keeper nodded and stood up, making his way to be on Thomas' left side while Jeff applied aloe vera to his wounds.

"That looks nasty," (M/n) smiled at Chuck's words and glanced toward Thomas, who had four open wounds on his wrist and forearm, caused by Ben's nails. He hadn't realized just how strong he held the greenie until now, those wounds were deeper than he expected.

"May have to amputate," Thomas turned to look at Clint, obviously having an internal panic at his words, but he simply laughed it off, and Jeff looked up at him with an unamused expression on his face.

"Hand me the bandage," Clint did as told and gave Jeff the bandage, "Don't worry, he always wants to amputate," he reassured the greenie as he covered the wounds with the bandage.

Clint noticed Alby approaching so he stood up and stepped aside, waiting for Jeff to be done, "How they're holding up, guys?"

"They're good, Alby," Jeff stood up as he finished and tapped Thomas' shoulder, "You'll be fine, just don't let it get infected."

Thomas nodded and they looked at (M/n), "And you, tell us if you feel anything change, alright? That was a hard hit."

"I will, guys." They nodded and left without saying anything else.

"You two okay?" Both of them nodded at different times and different velocities, but they did it anyway, "Yeah, it's a lot to take in, in your first week no less."

(M/n) closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, keeping the frozen peas pressed to his face, "So what happened to him?" He figured they were talking about Ben and his behaviour.

"It's called the Changing, it's what happens when you get stung," (M/n)'s eyes opened as he remembered the hole that made a scar on his leg. He got stung by a Griever and given the serum, that's how he got better so... Why hasn't Ben yet?

Maybe he should ask Alby later.

"What did he say to you?" (M/n) decided to pay attention to Thomas but closed his eyes once again. He does remember Ben mumbling something to Thomas before screaming out and turning more aggressive, and he wanted to know if the greenie had been able to understand what he had said to him.

Which apparently he did.

"He said he saw me... And that this is all my fault," wait... How did Ben...?

Could it be that Ben got his memories back after being stung? Like I did? Or... Was he really just not making sense?

"How can this be my fault?" For a second, he had to bite his tongue to hold himself back from saying anything he shouldn't, that would only cause more questions than give answers.

His reaction seemed to have caught Alby's attention, "Get some rest," he said and stood up.

"Alby," the Leader looked back at the greenie, "What's gonna happen to him?"

(M/n) saw Alby taking a deep breath in and sighing, "He'll be Banished at sundown," he turned back to continue on his way, and spoke up without even glancing back, "(M/n), come with me."

"On it," he muttered and found his way back on his feet, soon following after Alby in complete silence.

They walked for a short while and stopped by his treehouse, "Go change, you're covered in blood."

With a small chuckle, he nodded and made his way up the ladder, stopping by the balcony and looking down at Alby, "You wanna talk about Ben, don't you?"

He nodded once with his arms crossed over his chest, and (M/n) nodded back before heading inside.

//////

"He seemed happy to see me, as if... He hadn't seen me in forever, and..." He took a deep breath and fidgeted with his fingers, "He kept saying that now you could leave and that I shouldn't be here, and that I was finally here," he shrugged at Alby, Newt and Minho as they stared at him, "Everything was kind of contradictory, sorry guys."

"No it's okay, he got stung and you hit your head, things might be confusing for a while," Minho reassured him which actually worked and (M/n) watched as they remained quiet for a few seconds.

"We have to find out how Ben got stung," Newt added to the silence, breaking it and making everyone fidget in place.

"The only way he could've gotten stung was in the Maze," Alby replied as a frown appeared on his brow.

"I can go check it out tomorrow morning," Minho said after a few seconds went by.

"I can go with him, he shouldn't be going to the Maze alone," (M/n)'s words made the three of them look at him, and show a small smile on their faces.

"It's okay, (M/n)," Alby uttered with a sigh, "I was planning on going with Minho, I'm the Leader and it's my responsibility to find out what happened to Ben while he was in the Maze."

[waynes-multiverse]

Plastic Hearts – Part 1

Pairing: Director!Dean Winchester x Actress!Reader

Series Summary: Los Angeles, 1985. Y/N’s a young actress without any success, hopping from one failed audition to the next until one desperate mistake brings her to her breaking point. Dean Winchester, on the other hand, is a grade A asshole and washed-up director at the end of his career, known for his godawful slasher movies in the 70s and his love for blow, booze, and women. Lost in the toxic Hollywood life, their paths cross when one hopeless little wrestling show changes their trajectory.

Chapter Warnings: +18, GLOW AU, self-worth issues, implied smut (reader x unknown dude 🤷‍♀️), cheating, Sam and Dean are not related in this story (--> check the series masterlist for overall warnings!)

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Truthfully, I wasn’t gonna share it because it was just a fun, silly project to get over some writer’s block (which I did!). Netflix never gave me an ending to this amazing show, so I wanted to write my own, y’know? But hey, it’s already written, so why not share it with the class, right? As my awesome cheerleader on this project @panicking-outside-the-disco said, the dilaogue screams Dean AU 🖤 (Thank you so much for your encouragement, bestie!) Fellow fans of the show, you’ll be happy to know I kept all the good stuff in there, from Steel Horse to pink, frosted donuts. Everyone else will make sense of those words soon enough. So, hopefully, you’ll enjoy this nostalgic love tribute, and let’s give ourselves a decent ending, shall we? 🤩

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

1. Holding Out For A Hero

Another failed audition.

Moving from Nebraska to Los Angeles at the sweet age of eighteen, Y/N has played the Hollywood game for quite some time. Now, at the ripe age of twenty-seven by La-La Land standards, she only has little to show for herself, though. She’s had a few background roles and starred in a handful of low-budget plays, but her big breakthrough, the role that changes everything, still remains a hopeless and seemingly unreachable daydream.

Worst of all, she is sick and tired of the simple and reduced roles Hollywood forces upon its actresses. She wants more than the shitty role of the secretary who tells a powerful man his wife is on the phone. Y/N wants a real part instead of playing second fiddle to yet another pompous dick.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

After her latest failure, she even became so desperate she hid in a bathroom stall for three hours before ambushing her casting director Josie while the poor woman was fucking peeing. But instead of the customary, unexplained rejection, Y/N wanted to hear reasons this time. She wanted to find out why she always gets pushed over for someone else, wanted to know if she could do something better, for crying out loud.

Usually, it’s the agent’s job to tell an actor all the reasons why they were wrong for the role, but she doesn’t even have an agent anymore because, as it bitterly turns out, everyone stops fucking caring about you if you haven’t worked in over two years. For once, though, she wanted some goddamn feedback.

The casting director’s response?

“Look Y/N, every director I work with says, ‘Get me someone I don’t know. Someone I haven’t seen. I want a girl who’s real.’ That’s when I bring you in, so they can see that they don’t actually want the thing they think they want. It’s 1985. Everyone wants Jane fucking Fonda. I’m sorry, honey… But listen, I have some experimental projects in the Valley, if you’re interested. Would you consider doing erotica?”

So, fucking porn. That’s where she’s at with her life.

Defeatedly, Y/N leaves the casting office in West Hollywood once more and gets swallowed by the city’s filth, lost between hellfire and demons. No matter what she does, she never feels like it’s enough. Each audition, you throw yourself against the wall and hope, this time, it’ll stick. It’s an endless game, a gamble of hope – hope isn’t an infinite resource, though, and hers is running out.

Y/N likes getting tortured. That’s the conclusion she’s come to. And because she seems to thrive on torment, she joins her best friend Joanna for a Jazzercise class – aka a room full of toned women in leotards, sweatbands, and leg warmers. The two friends have known each other since middle school and have done everything together since then, including their move to the big city. Joanna is a blonde bombshell who immediately got a role on a popular soap until she quit acting and had a baby a couple of months ago. Now, she’s a housewife and mother in Pasadena while her husband brings home the money.

Y/N loves Joanna, but admittedly, the blonde sometimes makes her feel small and insecure. She doesn’t have the big tits, the perfect curves, or the shiny hair. Jo has always been more successful than her in every aspect of their respective lives, the friendly competition leaving Y/N, more often than not, with a bad aftertaste in her mouth. She constantly tries to keep her envy in check, though, even when the blonde’s boobs exploded during their freshman year of high school. Simply put: Joanna is a sparkling diamond, while Y/N feels like a dirty lump of coal next to her.

The cheer captain versus the theater geek.

“You know, I’d actually do porn if it had a good story. Like, Shakespeare porn,” Y/N half-heartedly jokes as the women change in the locker room after their class.

Jo arches an eyebrow at her, the smile on her lips a bit condescending. “C’mon, Y/N, would you actually do porn, though? You hate being naked in front of people.”

“Things have changed since you disappeared,” Y/N shrugs her shoulders, her voice laced with rebellion, and purposely changes out of her leotard in front of her friend to drive the point home. She also tries not to sound too bitter about the fact that the blonde basically abandoned her after getting married and pushing a human out of her vagina. She knows her jealousy is silly. It’s just part of life. That’s how it goes. It wasn’t always going to be them vs. the world forever.

“I didn’t disappear. I had a baby,” Jo retorts on cue before her face lights up with an insane amount of excitement. “Which you could too! Then we’d both have babies.”

“Great idea,” Y/N snorts sarcastically and slips into her sneakers, playfully musing, “Who of the guys I randomly fuck would make a good baby daddy, huh? The alcoholic I met at the farmer’s market or the depressed stand-up with a heroin addiction?”

Jo sits down on the bench next to her and conspiratorially leans closer. “Can I tell you something that I realized recently?”

Y/N gives her a raised look that borders on amused. “What?”

The blonde has been a bit of a postpartum mess these days. It’s the lack of sleep and the fact that her boobs won’t stop leaking. Also, her kid is a biter.

“When I first was cast on Paradise Bay, I was thrilled, okay? I mean, it was so exciting, remember? And then they put me in that year-long coma, and I was just lying there in this hospital bed, feeling powerless. And then when season three came, and they graduated me to that wheelchair with that blanket–”

“I’m sorry… Is this going somewhere?” Y/N interrupts her because the last thing she needs to hear today is another one of Joanna’s success stories.

“I’m getting there,” Jo frowns and continues straightaway, “Anyways, I was so relieved when Sam asked me to marry him and told me to stop working. He was right. It was completely ridiculous. Why would I do this to myself, you know? I swear to God getting pregnant and written off that show was the best decision I ever made,” she tells her enthusiastically.

Y/N just twitches her shoulders and ignores the guilt that’s bubbling in her gut. “Well, we’re different people. I choose work. I can have a baby once I win an Oscar.”

Jo lets out a deep sigh, “But you’re not even working, Y/N. Don’t you wanna be happy and have a family?”

“Of course I do.” Y/N’s not sure that answer is the whole truth. She knows she’s supposed to want the supportive husband, the cute kids, and the white picket fence, but all those things come with the end of your career. She’s not ready to give up and pay that price yet. She wants to make it on her own first, not needing a hero to save her like some damsel in distress. “‘Sides, don’t I need a boyfriend for starters? Isn’t that how it works?”

“Oh, it’s not that complicated,” Jo huffs and rolls her eyes dismissively. “Just pick the first nice guy with money you find. It’s what I did. I mean, Sam is a complete idiot and so out of my league, but it works,” she shrugs. “Why don’t you come visit me in Pasadena sometimes if you miss me so much? I called you like a million times in the last few weeks.”

“I know,” Y/N groans in response and finishes buttoning her blouse, swallowing the giant lump of shame in her throat. “It’s so far away,” she excuses, even though it’s another white lie. A big one, this time.

Jo tilts her head at her, but Y/N knows the wrinkles on the blonde’s brow are not out of concern. It’s pity. She’s seen that look all her life. “Y/N, are you okay? ‘Cause you look sad and fucking depressing, honestly.”

“Thanks. But I’m fine,” she brushes her friend off with a bitter smile. “Just the usual, you know? I have $28 left to pay my bills, including rent, which is why I’ve been waitressing at that awful diner in Downey all week… Oh, and, uhm, I’ve eaten Honey Nut Cheerios for my last eight meals,” she lists off her miserable life and grabs her duffel bag, feigning the brightest grin, “But hey, I’m gonna do porn. Things are looking up.”

It’s late at night when Y/N returns to her rundown shoebox apartment. Her decorations include one dead plant and two ripped posters of Angela Lansbury and Barbra Streisand, respectively. It’s a sad affair, really.

Completely beat, she checks her fridge, which resembles an empty ice cave, except for that half-full box of cheap wine. Yeah, she can’t even afford to get drunk properly. The old mattress squeaks as she falls face-down on the bed and exhaustively snatches the rotary dial phone from her nightstand, only reaching her parents’ answering machine.

“Hey, Mom. It’s Y/N. I didn’t get the audition today either, but I’ll get another one soon. So, fingers crossed… again. But I was just wondering if you and Dad could maybe wire me some money? You know, just so I can pay my electricity bill and… eat food. I’m really sorry… I know I can’t keep asking you guys for money because I’m a grown-up now… but I swear it’s the last time, okay? And I’m aware I said that the last time, too… Anyways, love you. Call me back, please? Okay, thanks… Bye.”

Slamming the receiver onto the phone, she groans loudly and is close to screaming into her goddamn pillow. When did she become such a pathetic fucking loser?

Needless to say, she imagined her life would go a lot differently.

In the midst of her nervous breakdown, her ears then perk up at a strange noise, eyes darting warily to the window. There’s an audible jam of the lock, followed by the rustling of the yellowed blinds before a large hand pops through the crack.

Shit. Someone’s trying to break in.

Anxiously, she grabs the phone and holds it up like a weapon, her heart thrashing wildly in her ribcage, the sound ringing in her ears. Then, she bravely yells with a shaky voice, “Whoever you are, I have a knife in my hand and already called the cops!”

“Whoa, whoa… Y/N, it’s just me.” A young man’s head pokes through the window, raising his large palms with a chuckle.

Her shoulders slump, the tension of fear replaced with one of annoyance as she sighs half-heartedly in relief, recognizing the intruder. Y/N lowers her makeshift weapon, tossing it on the bed. “Oh my God! What the fuck are you doing here? Why are you climbing through my window? You can’t be here! Climb back out – now!”

“You said the last time that no one can find out about us, so I took that seriously,” he explains as he gaspingly pushes his tall body through the small opening. “Can’t you just be happy to see me, Y/N? It took some effort to come here and climb through that window, you know?” A charming laugh bounces off the thin, bare walls once he’s made it into her apartment and towers over her.

Y/N folds her arms over her chest and cocks an eyebrow, “You want credit for cheating on your wife?”

He sighs and rolls his eyes back a little, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can we please not call it that?”

“What would you like me to call it? You’re married to someone and had sex with me,” she counters sternly. She absolutely doesn’t want him here. That man is only trouble and part of the reason why her life is so fucking shitty these days.

“Look, this isn’t normal behavior for me,” he shrugs innocently as if the madness can’t be helped and adds the softest puppy dog look. “I just-, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“So?! It was a huge fucking mistake!” There’s a sharp inhale of breath as she tries to gulp down the anger, guilt, and shame inside of her. “It happened weeks ago! You shouldn’t be here… It was a party. The drinks were free… I-I was feeling sorry for myself, and you took advantage of that.”

Quietly clearing his throat, he mumbles under his breath, “I think we both took advantage of that.” As he meets her gaze, his whiskey-colored orbs mirror the same guilt she feels.

Y/N places her hands on her hips with a deep exhale, her head bobbing as the words sink in and her head begins to spin. She knows he’s right. They’re both equally to blame, but it doesn’t change anything about her regrets. “Please leave. Go home to your family,” she begs him softly, too soft, not enough strength left to fight.

“You can’t just pull the plug on this. You and me. This is real,” he tells her, his hazel eyes boring into hers. “I think you’re the one, Y/N.”

“No, I’m not,” she stresses with a heavy shake of her head, fighting against the tears that prick her eyes and cloud her mind. “I’m nothing special.”

Pensively, he nods and licks his lips, a humorless chuckle escaping between them as he rubs his mouth and ponders, “I keep thinking about what you said to me that night… You know, how there are shiny people who have everything? And then there are people like us who have to go to parties with those people and watch them get their pictures taken. And it’s not fair... ‘Cause we deserve good things, too. We deserve attention and love and… sex.”

Silently staring at him for what feels like an eternity, her mind races a mile a minute as her heart shatters into a thousand sharp daggers that pierce through her skin and leave deep scars in their wake. And then, Y/N foolishly crashes her lips against his just to stop the goddamn pain in her chest.

What is there to say that even justifies any of this? She’s fucking weak.

The harsh sunbeams that fall on her face and blind her eyes announce another dreadful morning as she wakes with a pessimistic groan. The bed is cold and empty; the married guy is long gone, leaving right after the fuck.

Y/N is alone again – with nowhere to go.

Why did she do what she did? In all honesty, she can’t quite understand it herself, the truth too cruel and pathetic to accept it. The only positive thing she can find about her situation is that at least she can’t sink any lower than rock bottom. She’s certain she’s reached the depths of Hell at this point. Los Angeles mistakenly gets called the city of angels. Truthfully, though, it’s filled with devils who lure you to the dark side until you can’t even look in the mirror anymore without seeing a white line instead of your own goddamn reflection.

The funny thing, though? She’s never even been into drugs or booze or whatever bad habit you can catch in this city, like an STD. She has always worked her ass off and walked the straight and narrow. And for fucking what?

Y/N is definitely at her lowest of lows, but that also means there’s nowhere to go but up, right? And when the red light on her answering machine keeps blinking, her hope and good spirit return as she eagerly presses the button, restarting the endless cycle once more.  

“Y/N, this is Josie. I have an audition for you tomorrow. I’m not running it, but I thought of you. It’s in Watts. And it’s not porn... They’re looking for unconventional women, whatever the fuck that means… Oh, and uhm, if you ever ambush me in the restroom again, I’ll make sure you’re gonna be blacklisted on every casting call in Los Angeles. Are we clear? Anyways, good luck, honey!”

A loud scream echoes through the tiny apartment. Y/N can’t believe her fucking ears and jumps excitedly up and down when Josie’s message ends, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks.

The game is back on – and it’s not fucking porn.

2. Livin’ On A Prayer

Yikes! I think it’s fairly easy to guess who this mystery guy is, but let me know all your suspicions and gasps, anyways! 😉 And don’t worry. You’re getting plenty of Dean tomorrow (some would say too much Dean) 😎😈

Everything Jensen (1st part tag only): @extraterrestriali @this-is-me19 @writercole @awkward-and-indecisive @eevvvaa @imherefordeanandbones @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @jassackles @maggiegirl17 @perpetualabsurdity @deandreamernp @roseblue373 @lyarr24 @deanwanddamons @deanwithscissors @flamencodiva @chriszgirl92 @lhymer1995 @wittyboldsoul @djs8891 @snowlovespie​ @b3autyfuldisast3r​ @recoveringpastaaddict​ @muhahaha303​

Plastic Hearts Series: @spnexploration @jessjad @siospins2 @mrsjenniferwinchester @akshi8278 @xlynnbbyx @wayward-dreamer @foxyjwls007 @smellingofpoetry @justrealizedimmascifygurl @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @4getfulimaginator2022 @globetrotter28​

[spacenintendogs]

Sorry for the ask. My brain craves HTTYD-based interaction and the shadowban on my sideblog won’t be lifted for at least a month.

I think the first movie is so special in comparison to everything else. Not only because of Hiccup and Toothless, but because of the dragon riders. They all act so different — like Snotlout is sort of like the leader, Astrid gets along with the twins over the idea of getting a scar in training.

They all just seem to be pretending to be something to all fit in with one another (except, maybe, the twins? Maybe?) and I think one of the main reasons they reject Hiccup is not only because he’s a complete clutz (two left feet, that’s why he lost one) but also because he, too, is pretending… just not well enough. (This mostly goes for Astrid and Snotlout and a bit for the twins, arguably the only one nice to Hiccup is Fishlegs but he’s also pretending to hate dragons, so… I guess this also applies to him.) (I suppose the only one who ever never really dropped the act was Snotlout, which would be why he’s suddenly put in the underdog’s position in the group, even if it’s mostly just seen in the TV shows.)

(Plus, it’s the only one I haven’t got on DVD and I only rewatched it today when it was on TV exclusively for that minute long scene of Snotlout taming Hookfang because I couldn’t find a clip of it on YouTube. Really says a lot about me.)

Yeah. I just think the group dynamics in the first movie are very special. It (from dynamics and atmosphere) just feels so different to the rest of the franchise, including the other two films.

hi! sorry for taking so long! i'm not used to being asked for questions abt this kind of stuff!! i'm usually the one doing the asking or i lurk a bit akdjsjdks

but no u have points abt the dynamics between the gang in the first movie. smth i noticed while rewatching it with some friends is in the beginning when snotlout is making fun of hiccup for messing up the raid through his wrecklessness (tee hee), snotlout after he gets shoved down by gobber, gets back up, and laughs, and looks to astrid. she was also smiling at him, as was fishlegs, as he & the twins made fun of & laughed at hiccup. and then they all just. move on & snotlout deflates

this tiny little smile says SOOOOOO much <3

smth tho i noticed u said is that snotlout is kind of the leader, however the film has astrid be at the center & front of the gang or them all looking to her or making sure she is the one they listen to bc she is the leader of the gang. she's THE ideal model viking bc she has to be. snotlout is the most vocal & the second best by far in training, & similar to how he is in the shows & other films he's pushing himself towards the front when he can to get the attention of others & be taken seriously or to be seen as another model viking (like impressing astrid)

there's an intimacy abt astrid & the gang in the first movie that just hasn't fully shown in the other two films or even the shows with tiny details of them fiddling in the background or even the foreground of a scene when someone else is talking & u see them interact. the great hall when tuffnut is playing with his knife before saying "wait? you mean READ?" astrid is amused by him playing with the knife.

but what you said abt them all pretending: they are. fishlegs is still seen as weird but he's friends & in with the gang. he loves dragon knowledge & knowing abt them, but it's for the art of the kill instead of simply knowing them as creatures. the twins love destruction but with all the talk of being on a team & working together with other vikings they bicker more with each other & end up not getting as far bc they get focused on their own shenanigans. snotlout is trying to show astrid he's the model viking & be a flirty teenage boy at the same time lmao. astrid is the one who changes first when everyone saw her as the most steadfast in her ways. The Viking Way™️.

snotlout in the shows becoming the "underdog" is bc he's not astrid, who learned & changed herself but now is such a tryhard she applies herself to the fullest extent in the opposite direction (i love her). fishlegs can actually enjoy dragons & learn abt them without having to fight them (he's the most skittish of the gang), the twins now have direct ways to blow things up & do their shenanigans (after also having learned to work in a team!!!) without worry of there being a war against the dragons (now just other ppl but ppl can't breathe fire... right? lmao). hiccup is the newest edition of the group, the circle, & now he's just?? the leader. they look to him now after snotlout did everything to get astrid & others attention. astrid is by hiccup's side 100% now & bites back at snotlout when she didn't before. snotlout has changed & loves hookfang, he loves dragons, but he doesn't want to change the Viking Way™️ he's known & tries to force the Old Ways™️ and New Ways™️ together in a way that moreso clashes. he wants to still be at the top but forces instead of working to his advantage. his jealousy of hiccup grows to a point where he's basically self destructing in acting out & causes (unintentional) harm to others but then brushes off the consequences of his actions. & then he learns. he's slower to the take, similar to the adults, but he's also got it more quickly than they ever could. he just hasn't stopped pretending like the other kids.

smth i love abt the first film is the explanation as to why the gang all have american/canadian accents (bc of jay baruchel lmao) vs the scottish accents of the adults. to show the generational difference. they are different from the adults & a very clear distinction is made by the accents of their voices. you can almost say hiccup having the most jarring of everyone's voice (so nasally & distinct) ties in with hiccup being the leader. he commands attention but not in the way that's expected. even "the more viking-like teens" (as gobber refers to them) have distinct voices & even if they're acting how the village expects.

it's not rlly them, is it? not fully at least.

guess sometimes you need a little guidance, & it can come from the most unexpected places. maybe someone who's been in a leader position can give you a little extra push

& even if you're afraid & don't adjust to the change 100%, you can start coming out of your shell & stop pretending. some stop pretending easier than others, & some ppl are stuck in a lot of their ways. but they still feel they can relax abt smth & stop pretending abt that.

it makes everyone happier, right? :)

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

sorry to message but i just wanted to yell because I saw a post and yOU’RE THE AUTHOR OF FALLOUT FROM THE FADE ???? oh my goodness it’s my favourite fic ive read it SO many times.

i left a comment on ao3 last night because i finished reading it again and i just genuinely hope one day you finish it (i understand you have much going on i am just greedy).

but yes thank you so much for creating it, fenris and hawke are everything to me and this fic is my canon no matter what happens in veilguard. 💜

hahaha HELLO yes that is indeed I... I guess i do owe a little bit of an explanation here since its been uh... like 4 years since I last updated, yeah :| But it still makes me so happy that even after so long people still enjoy my little pile of suffering and yearning!

I don't know how many people who used to follow it are still on tumblr (I think a lot of people i used to write with/who would comment have deleted their tumblrs and AO3 accounts in the intervening years alas) but i do I owe anyone remaining a little context I guess lol. Long story made short is like very shortly after my last update i got broken up with unexpectedly from my 4 year relationship, and went into a bit of a spiral about it. I didn't fully stop writing at this point (though I think nothing I wrote in that like... year or more ended up posted anywhere), but I did realize that when I went to work on my ongoing stuff I was in a place where I was like... only wanting to write about anger/losing relationships rather than healing ones. And that part of me wanted to change some of the things I had planned for the following parts and ending of Fallout From the Fade. And so I decided to take a step back from it for a while to see if I actually wanted to make those changes when I was less bitter or if I wanted to follow my original plan.

And that took me about a year, emotionally. However by then I had actually left my prior job (where I spent a lot of time hiking/camping in the wilderness of Utah with no internet, and I used that time for writing), and started graduate school courses. Aaaannnd grad school has been slowly eating my life since. I've only posted I think one other fanfic since then, and it was a very short prose-poem one shot. Another contributing factor was my gaming tech was too old to actually play Trespasser when it came out, and by the time I got a laptop that could handle it, I had to replay the whole game but I was working full time, etc... and i felt really disconnected from the DA fandom since I couldn't read all the new fic/understand all the lore deep dive posts/experience it with everyone else simultaneously. Oh yeah and I work a second job as a professional mermaid in varying degrees of intensity depending on the season/oportunties available haha.

All that being said. I actually have written more of FFtF in the last 2 years. But like I said in the other post I made kinda recently, the long gaps between my later updates (vs the ones I was doing way more regularly in 2016-2018) had me rethink the approach I was using to write and post it, which was a chapter at a time. It felt like stringing people along in kind of a mean way to dump a chapter and then vanish for another year, and I knew I couldn't promise consistency while doing a masters/PhD program. So I've been kind of fiddling away at it slowly still, both actual writing of following chapters, and some substantial firming up/drafting sections in my outline to get to the eventual ending and ensure it's more cohesive than a lot of my slapdash chapters. But! Idk! I do also def work slower without the fun of having an audience, and miss that. and I never actually asked of the people who are left and still wanna read more of it, if they'd rather just get a chapter every 6 months or so as I scrounge it out. If you are one of those people and have an opinion def let me know.

I will say, the imminent presence of Veilguard does have me more inspired and creative again, and some of that has been going to Fallout. Especially since I'm no longer watching the videos/gameplay bioware is putting out since they have SOOO many spoilers and I wanna go into the game at least semi blind, so my creative energy has to go towards my personal stuff rather than joining everyone else in speculation and hype now. I'm definitely not promising I will have it close to finished by October when Veilguard releases, because I'm still in grad school and the next months are busy for me in terms of mermaid work too, but I am hoping I can make some good chunks of progress between now and then. But then if I say that and can't follow through after all I also don't wanna let people down.

Anyway yeah, it's sort of a lot of conflicting thoughts. But I'm still rotating Hawke and Fenris and this fic in my mind even these years later... which for me is honestly pretty normal. I mean I have whole original novels/worldbuilding ideas/etc that I've worked on for 10-15 years in my own time haha, I've been writing fiction for fun since I was like 10, so I think I also just think of stories/writing across a bigger timeline than people who start writing with fanfiction (which is MUCH faster paced) than original fiction. The difference of course is no one sees my original stuff so there's no one to care if i take 2 years between chunks of progress. SO I guess what I am trying to say is, yes definitely it is not abandoned, I am plodding away at it bit by bit, I also hope I can finish it one day!!!! that is within this decade i hope! whether or not anyone else is left to read it but me haha

[thesmpisonfire]

VOTE FOR FUNDY IN THE CRINGEFAIL POLL

---

When Fundy moved out, he meant to go away from everything.

Everything, everyone, anything that would bring him back to that hell of a country. Countries, if he was being more specific. Only him, Yogurt, and the cats they adopted while in Dry Waters.

So, it was a very big surprise when he found out he hadn’t gone far away to the point mail wouldn’t get to him. Who the fuck even used mail these days, when communicators were practically a part of everyone’s body these days and-

Oh, yeah. Fundy had blocked basically everyone who he had ever talked to after his last ‘chat’ with Wilbur. So, mail was probably the only way people had to communicate with him now.

Which brought the new, even more worrying question: ‘Who the fuck had their address?’

Fundy was quick to tear the envelope open, just aware that he was the person that letter was addressed to. He expected anything, a sob letter from Wilbur, a threat from Quackity, some spam mail…

Anything but “Congrats on winning your second round!” and a silly little trophy image attached underneath it. Fundy stared at the letter for a moment, noticing there were more than one paper attached and at least 3 more pages with probably other info about whatever competition this was. He checked and rechecked both the envelope and the greetings, but no, Fundy’s name was right there, without error. Fun Dy Soot, apparently running in some contest based on popular votes.

Soon, he heard a quick “tip-tap-tip-tap” as his son rushed to the door, fur still messy from his sleep. “Sorry papa, this is Yogi’s!” Yogurt said, before yanking the mail from Fundy’s hands and skittering back to his room.

It still took Fundy a couple of seconds to react, following right behind the sneaky kit. “Yogurt Dy, come back here!” He just tiredly demanded, hearing Yogurt’s giggle as he managed to get into his room. Fundy put his foot right before the kit managed to close the door, feeling a sharp pain going up his leg when Yogurt put all his strength to close it before Fundy got in there.

“Okay, little man, what have you been up to?” Fundy asked when Yogurt let out a defeated cry and let him enter, giving Fundy space to sit on his bed while they chatted. The kit fiddled with the paper, trying to look sorry but being betrayed by his own wagging tail and excited ears twitching.

“Soooooo… My dearest, very loving Papa…” Yogurt smiled, like the little shit he was, and Fundy couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “Yogi put Papa in a competition.”

Okay, one explanation done.

“And how did you do this?”

“Your old communicator. The one half melted. I poked some stuff, twisted some wires, and it worked!” Yogurt grinned, very proud of himself as he showed Fundy’s discarded communicator, dated from the Independance War era. Fundy couldn’t help but feel as much pride.

“What kind of competition is it-”

“Most cringefail” Yogurt cut him before he finished speaking, not waiting for Fundy’s reaction before resume talking. “Yogi put Papa in a lot of competitions! But Papa immediately lost a bunch of them. Including one for the sexyman category!” Yogurt calmly explained, rambling and playing with the envelope, poking it with his claws. “But Papa has been a star in the cringefail one!”

Fundy properly let his head fall into his hands. Not even believing in what he had heard. He was winning. In a cringefail competition. Wow. New low had been hit. He should pat himself on the back.

Fundy could feel Yogurt shifting on the bed, so he laughed it off, raising his head and looking at his son. The day seemed even lighter when Yogurt smiled as well, happy that his Papa seemed to enjoy his idea just as much. “It’s pretty funny, isn’t it?” Fundy chuckled again, because that’s what he always did, and then hugged Yogurt and nibbled his arm while the kit giggled and shrieked to escape. “Lemme see who else is in.”

Fundy’s gaze was quick to scan the page of the Round 3 participants, ignoring a bunch of names and not even recognizing the others. Until…

He grinned, a bit mischievous.

“I’ll be right back, little man.”

Fundy got out from under Yogurt’s small weight, grabbing his communicator as he left their house and opening the contact list.

It took him a moment, breathing in deep to calm himself as he unblocked the contact, calling immediately before losing courage. It rang 3 times before it was picked up.

“Heyyyy!” Fundy started, not awkward at all. “Soooo- Wait wait wait! Don’t hang up! That’s rude!” He cried out, panicking for a minute and just relaxing when he got reassured the call would still keep going. His grin was back, ready to, just maybe, make fun of someone as bad as he was. “Soo, Niki… Have you checked your mail?”

–

EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO AME FOR SUBMITTING AN EMPTY POST SO I CAN EDIT AND POST MY FANFIC. IM IN POST LIMIT JAIL

Anyway keep voting for fundy and I'll write more mwah i love y'all

[what-even-is-sleep]

REACTIONS to the latest PJO TV episode (5. A God Buys Us Cheeseburgers)!!

First half is positive/hype reactions, second half is negative/critiques.

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨spoilers!! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

POSITIVE/HYPE:

I liked that they showed the irl reactions of media/first responders to the arch.

Love love loved the aunties/Fates. Perfect characterization

THE PERCABETH HUG. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

hype continued under readmore

OHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODDDDSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Percy jumping over the railing felt like hardcore parallels to how I imagined the dock scenes in HOO

THE FKCN PERCABETH HUG. IT WENT ON SO LONG. LOVED IT

Loved the physical comedy of the trio being behind that concrete highway block lmao.

ARES WITH THE DRAMATIC-ASS LEATHER CAPE I FKCN LOVE IT

The physical comedy with the trio popping up behind the concrete highway divider!!!!

Ares starting flame wars/fights on twitter lmfaoooo. Such a good addition to his character

Gabe was so pathetic. I don’t love the comedic turn of his characterization, but the pathetic wormy-ness was good to see

YES GROVER MY BOY!! PLAYING ARES LIKE A MF FIDDLE

The amusement park was interesting! Not how I imagined it, but v cool effects.

THE TRAP WAS SO COOL!!

LOVED ANNABETH GEEKING OUT ABT THE TRAP

Ok falling more in love with the amusement park designs

Percy’s reaction to Ares/Aphrodite affair lmfao yes boy drag those fools

The way the “What is Love” section ended was great lol. Very Harry Potter rollercoastery vibes

JUST. ALL THE PERCABETH MOMENTS. PERCY KNEELING BEFORE THE CHAIR. AHHHHHHHH!!!!

The fact that Ares just blatantly says that he hates kids and his own kids OUGH! Makes Clarisse’s storyline hit so much harder.

YES GROVER GET HIM. MANIPULATE THAT $&*%£+

SEAWEEDBRAIN

SEAWEED BRAJN

GRAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! IM GOING INSANE 🫨🤯🤩🥳🥹

Their whole convo fr 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OIYAGHHHHHHHHHHHH ANNABETH KNOWING THAT PERCY NEEDS HIS MOM AND LOVES HER SM AND- AND- AND- 😭😭❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AND HIM BEING LIKE ALSO UHH CAN U GET ME OUT OF THIS SOME DAY TOO LMAO

I can’t even analyze all the stuff in this convo, in this scene, in that exchange yet bc I’m IMPLODING!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️

LEAH AND WALKER’s ACTING WAS SO GOOD DURING THIS SCENE OMFG

AND THE SPECIAL EFFECTS GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Stunning, magnificent, no notes

“Percy stand up I mean it!” “I’m ok, I’m ok, I’m-”

IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE

AOUGH. I cannot keep reacting in all caps this is unsustainable. But like. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Annabeth immediately going to reverse the chair mechanisms <333333333

The way the ladder goes up is so cool fr :0

HEPHAESTUS!!! One of my fav gods ngl <3. Bro is more dramatic than I thought with the whole “baby don’t hurt me, no more” 💀 😅

ANNABETH DEFENDING PERCY WITH HER WHOLE HEART. AND HER GROWTH AHHHHHHHHHH

Maybe it’s just bc I’m a music nerd but OUGH I just adore how music is mechanical and a key for Hephaestus n everything. Idk just, very cool.

OUGH the way Percy comes out of the chair. So dramatic <3

Annabeth holding the shield and the way she drops it in front of Ares is badass asf and I fucking love it.

OUP THE BACKPACK!!!

YES GROVER U DROPPED UR CROWN KING 👑

Lin Manuel Miranda jumpscare at the end there again lmao. Looking forward to the next episode 👀

The negatives/media-critical:

🚨🚨🚨🚨warning: I’m v critical. 🚨🚨🚨🚨

“Short version, we need to go to Santa Monica.” Okok im pretty sure that’s almost exactly what he says in the books, but it felt poorly set up in the show. Part of the pacing issues perhaps, but grahh it pulled me out of the story.

Where’s Percy’s backpack? Doesn’t he have one before Ares gives him one? Honest question bc I don’t remember for sure lol. Not assuming it’d stay with him thru the arch-falling shenanigans but like,,, what abt everyone else’s stuff? They aren’t walking around with NO water n stuff, right?????

Where is Annabeth’s necklace half the time? They keep forgetting it T-T. Sometimes it seems plausible that it’s under her shirt, but most of the time it’s very clearly not. + when they showed her dads ring on it last ep, that thing was Chunky-the outline of the ring would be showing under any shirt collar!!

The conversation behind the concrete highway thing felt kinda stilted. 1) when annabeth mentioned only one of the Fate’s names and 2) partially bc there was no background music the whole time…. Whenever the background instrumentals come in the quality of the show jumps so much!!!

Some of the Ares expressions/first convo/delivery felt hellla cheesy at points. In general when the gods characters say stuff like “young one” at the end of their sentences it feels kinda like a throwaway. Like the actors are embarrassed abt the line or smth… idk. Just doesn’t feel in-character enough the way those lines are delivered.

Ares says he’ll help them, then says they’re going to fail, then says he’d kill them so he can eat in peace when he offered them food in the first place…. makes them help him, then helps them anyways… idk the motivation portrayal in the show felt way more wishy washy and weak than in the books

The trap was really cool but it didnt read well until Annabeth went thru.

Different food on the table with Ares when they cut back to him and Grover at night. Super understandable that they could go thru multiple meals, but there’s no visuals of either character eating or calling the waitress over to get more food or like ANY storytelling cue to have the changing food make sense/have a reason to change. It just becomes another thing that kinda takes me out of the story.

Why is the Tunnel of Love where the shield “must” be?? There’s no indication that Percy and Annabeth have a demigod intuition towards the place, or that they’ve looked elsewhere. It’s stated like a fact that the audience is just supposed to accept and go along with. Where’s the reasoning???

Didn’t love the sound design when “What is Love” came in. Is it supposed to be playing in a tunnel loudly or not? The song kept getting louder and softer at diff points in a way that really took me out of the ‘realism’ of the moment.

What in the H2O water powers hard-to-read special effects was that 😭😂

The scene cuts between the Percy/Annabeth to Grover/Ares feels so choppy… :(

THE SWITCH TO THE FISHBOWL/OVERHEAD CAMERA POV… laughing so hard mfg. just Why.

Hwhat is the reasoning behind automatically assuming that the chair and shield are connected. 😭😭😭. Ik the books have way more context and internal dialogue. Pls show, just have them try and reach the shield or pull it down or say SOME sort of reasoning for why they’re connected instead of just spouting another fact that we’re supposed to go along with.

Ok I love Hephaestus’s character in the books and in mythology. For some reason this actor didn’t conjure him for me. My Hephaestus is hunched, buff, more noticeably physically disabled, more dramatic and eccentric and kind and gruff. Idk this actor just fell flat for me.

Just small things with the scene cuts. Like how the camera stays on someone’s face for a second or two too long… all the fckn time. Small, consistently annoying thing for me. ¯\_(:/)_/¯

“Thank you for the emotional abuse and the cheeseburgers.” … what? Isn’t the whole point that Grover was buttering him up? What is the point of the emotional abuse comment to Ares’s face if Grover was playing him up the whole time. It feels like something that was written for kitschy woke-ism points instead of a genuine callout/dialogue that fits more smoothly with what’s happening before, during and after that moment. Cause then Grover asks for paper towels immediately after… 😅 bruh what.

[annakie]

Baldur's Gate 3 Stuff Below (mild romance spoilers for stuff you see before the end of Act 1)

I am absolutely sure I want to romance Gale and have been turning everyone else down left and right but oh boy I just did the dance scene with Wyll and THAT was the first time I doubted my choice.

My character is a Noble Lore Bard and so the Lore Bard jives very much with Gale, and so does his general politeness and eloquence, but dancing with Wyll in a courtly dance like that really, REALLY tugged on the heartstrings. Turning my face away at the end was a hard decision and I may need to load the save just to see what happens if you DON'T. >.> (and then keep going with a save where I did. Sigh.)

This is the first actual hard choice I've had for who to romance in a game in a very long time. Come on you guys, let's just Throuple this, yes? You get along great with each other!

Also Haslin seems great, I really like him and he hasn't officially joined the party yet, but I have been very careful to try and not pick any flirty dialog with him and he's still... shall we say, very complimentary to me. Is that just what he's like? I haven't even had a chance to do any "Hey, thanks but no thanks" dialog back at him. But he's made it clear his sleeping bag could use company and I'm still saying no.

Seen a lot of other people saying they've seen similar issues with Gale and Wyll when not romancing them, a lot of people think the romance flags are still very bugged. So, idk.

I am trying to be kind to Astarion, my boi you are all manner of fucked up and I get it. How can I help you without encouraging your darker side? I think he's the only member of the party who may end up leaving me. I also don't bring him out much since I can handle all the rogue stuff myself. Very interested in him and his story, but no romance this time around.

The ladies are also all so amazing. Shadowheart also has that "I'm evil and I don't want you to fix me!" thing going on, but I hope I can still fix (un-evil) her. This playthrough at least. Let's be best friends, Shadowheart, but I'm not turning to the darkside for you.

Absolutely loving Lae'zel having to come to grips with the flaws of her own people and goddess. Also her adoration of Karlach is :3. I bring her out with me so much.

and KARLACH. Oh my goodness I didn't expect to love her so much but I do. I ADORE her. How can you not? I want her and my bard to be cuddlemates forever.

Anyway, the party with the tieflings was terribly awkward when I had to tell basically everyone in my party no thank you, except Astarion who told me no thank you, and Gale who said I really want to but I am legit worried my heart might explode. Fair.

Since then, we've had a serious flirt discussing reading about stimulation in books, and that's precisely the kind of flirting my bard is into.

I hope we do have a serious conversation at some point where it can be made clear that I don't play second fiddle to anyone, even the goddess of magic, so I hope that's all behind him.

I turned down a handsome nobleman who knows how to dance, Gale. Don't disappoint!

-----

I could go on about a thousand other things I am loving about this game (basically everything) but now I need to get back to playing it so maybe I can finish act 2 in less than 100 hours.

[funkymbtifiction]

Hey, what would you say the significance of wings is? Do you struggle to tell if you’re a 6 or a 7 sometimes? Personally I’ve been torn between 8 and 9 since as long as I can remember discovering enneagram. I’ve got many friends who studied enneagram for years and also struggle(d) to tell between their core and their wing… they are certain it’s one or the other but flip flop between saying which is core and which is wing. This indecision happens most often when one of the types ppl are torn between is Attachment… but I have seen it happen to 7-8 liners and 1-2 liners too. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Wings flavor your core, but ultimately are "ruled" by your core. You are doing it "in service of" your core desires. For example, I do relate to some of the 7 stuff because of being a 6w7 (re-framing, skipping past my feelings, hating negativity, not wanting to dwell on upsetting things, always needing things to look forward to, feeling like there's so much I want to do and not enough time)...

But.

I am a super-ego type through and through, and ruled by "should." My 7 gets ruled over by my 6, who sets the agenda and is much stronger. How 7 shows up primarily on a daily basis for me is to mix a little of itself into my decisions/agenda and also cause confusion.

Like Goblins of Discord said in their 7w6 description, the 7w6 knows there's stuff they "should" be doing -- but that's boring, so I won't do it. The 6w7 knows they should do it, and they usually do it, because the guilt trip becomes too great. 7s are not afraid to self-reward, 6s feel they need to earn rewards (justify it to themselves and others).

When in doubt, strip away the externals and look at the core. 9w8s are withdrawn types who are only assertive to defend their right to be unbothered by everyone else (failing to establish boundaries, then being angry about their lack of boundaries and asserting them too late). 8w9s are assertive types who are only withdrawn in their desire to get what they want (going for it hard, and not wanting others to try to stop them, so they assert boundaries early and in many instances, too soon and too severely, then backtrack later).

The only way to prove your type to yourself is to read deeply enough about the type (in actual books that go in-depth, not YouTube "gurus" or internet forums or brief online descriptions) to identify its mechanisms and introspect long enough to see yourself using your lines not only under stress and growth, but ALL THE TIME. If you are an 8, you will have 5 in your back pocket and a pull towards 2 (paranoia moving toward tenderness and filling needs). If you are a 9, you will see 6 and 3 in yourself (6 second-guessing during stress and 3 determination once you decide what you want). If you are a 7, you will see 1 and 5. And so on.

I don't doubt I'm a 6, because I am super-ego through and through (ruled by should and attentive to other people's needs), assertiveness and gluttony plays second fiddle to my inner guilt-trips and need to be responsible, and I routinely fall into 3/9 behaviors. So I'm sure. :)

If you are still torn between to types three years into your typing journey, you are either mistyped and working on the wrong things or looking for the wrong type patterns or not introspecting enough to see your type playing out in your thought patterns. Once you land on your type, you will feel a deep sense of shame as you unearth the unconscious patterns that have ruled your life. There is an enormous ego resistance toward accepting the most shameful aspects of your core number; often, people either truly do not identify with those things and assume they are at a high health level (nope) or their pride will not allow them to admit to it and they adamantly deny it as being a problem for them, while doing that exact thing all the time (a fact that is highly visible to others).

Sometimes you will find your type and own this shameful behavior but not that one, but if you commit to introspection and working on yourself, you wear down your ego enough to accept later on that yes, this other shameful thing... I also do this. But by the time that happens and you are willing to face it, it no longer feels as devastating to admit to it.

When torn, ask yourself -- which one am I avoiding and which one am I idolizing more? Which one would bare me in a way that feels deeply uncomfortable? By continuing to feel torn between types and see them as equal, are you refusing to admit to a core weakness?

[java-dragon]

Bookbinding for Beginners by a Beginner Part 3

*braces self on a door frame* Right there's a lot of information I still need to cover so lets get into it.

I don't recall if I told everyone to set up the document to be booklet type or not but here's how to do that (I'm not re-reading what I wrote my brain stopped working at some point)

But Layout Tab, Page Layout, hit the little arrow pointing towards the document:

I have the sheets per booklet set to 32, but this site is helpful for helping you get the exact number of signatures (a portion of the fic you are printing it is one section of the book, whereas a text block is the whole thing together)

That's if you want to print through the program you're type facing (the text within the pages all of the formatting and indents and everything we started covering in part 2 is type facing). I have totally done printing through the word processor but there is a different option that I will cover later down this post.

For now I'm going to try and remember all of the extra stuff I need to cover. A lot of this is trial an error and fiddling, farting, and sometimes sobbing your way through this.

OH! Right if the fic you're type facing has a fake email. Like.... I don't know "lighthousekeeper@email.com" Word will sensor it automatically when you paste it onto the document. The only work around I have is to have the OG link to the fic you're working on, and try your best to locate the email copy it, and find it within the text of the document using the headers to skip to the chapter in question and scan for the brackets with [Email redacted] or some such, it's usually blue text with "[ ]" going on.

I can't truly think of anything else at this time pertaining to my tips and tricks for Word. There is more I may know but my mind is fizzling out I may circle back to this but I think I'll move on towards downloading and uploading fonts to use in your bookbinding adventures and some Canva stuff.

DaFont and 1001 Free Fonts work

Dafont:

1001:

I'll be using these two Fonts as my examples cause... well I actually quite like them.

Hit "Download"

This will pop up on your screen hit "OK"

Go to your Downloads or where you put your downloads,

Right click on the file in question and hit "Extract All"

Hit Extract.

Click on the folder post extraction. The file type you're looking for is "Open Type Font File" Right Click, "Install" or "Install for all Users" works as well and the font will be available to anyone that has a User key for the computer you're on.

Sometimes the file will look like this:

The Greyed out one? That's the type file.

There will be a pop up that says "Installing Font" give it a few seconds and it will disappear.

You will now be able to open up your word processor and go to the font section and be able to find your newly downloaded font

Enjoy your new found power in getting fancy pants fonts on your word documents!

Now... Canva...

You can download it for free like I said. I have it on my phone and on my computer as a software application:

So I don't accidentally doxx myself this is all you really need to see- you can do much much more than bookcovers, I've done bookmarks, and logos and a few other things.

but for our purposes we'll open up a document and make a few pages:

At the very tippy top that I did not show there's "create Design" I usually hit either "Bookcover" or "ebook cover".

There will be a document with some template examples and you can scroll and see if you like any of those. OR You can just go down to "Elements" and start playing and toying around with that.

You can also grab screen captures of decorative lines to replace the "***" on your document.

How to do this- in elements there should be a search bar type in "decorative lines" and you can refine it "Decorative Rainbow" "brush stroke" "ornate" then open up the application on your computer that allows for screen shots Snip and Sketch for Windows, I don't know for Mac. Sorry.

Select something you like and when it appears on the document click outside of it.

open up your screen grab and grab the line in question

Here's my example.

Now in your word document feel free to go into the Pages tab of the Navigation bar and find whatever the author has used to break up the text. Highlight, right click, hit "search" There will be a pop up on the right hand of word hit the tab that says "Search this document/file" you can see how many times "***" or the equivalent has been used. I would suggest opening this link and reading all of the other tips and tricks since they break it down better than I ever could.

Edit as of November 18th 2023: But the root gist of it all is to highlight the "***" or equivalent divider on the document. Right click, "Search" there will be a prompt that opens on the right hand side of Word hit the "In this Document" and it will bring up every instance of what you have highlighted.

Have the image you intend to replace "***" with right click "Copy". Back in Word, hit "Replace" there will be a box that pops up with "Replace with" Type: ^C . What this does is take the image you've just copied and will override the highlighted "***" Hit "Replace all". You may have to scrub through the document to center it properly but thankfully it's easier to find especially with the Navigation Bar on the "Pages" tab open.

End Edit

Though you can just scroll and find the breaks highlight and drag and drop the image to break up the text if you so choose. Do what works for you.

Now you can also do the same thing with decorative chapter headers, just choose or fiddle and make something that works for the fic in question. Remember when I made you do all of those "Next Page" breaks for the fic? Well on the top of that page with the chapter, double click the header insert an image and "warp image" to "Behind text" and you are free to resize and move the image around.

Just so you know whatever is next to the image will repeat with this example it's the author's name, it will appear no matter the page number odd or even. I don't know the work around and it doesn't bother me much at the end of the day. At this point I'm just trying to pull all of the tips and tricks I've learned over time out of my ass to help people out.

Back to Canva. You can make your Covers if you'd like in this and you can do decorative cover pages. Just go to the page that you want the title page on, insert an image, and warp image to "In front of text" You will be free to stretch and fill the page as much as you please. I do the same thing with my logo placement for the logo page.

Now... if you're still with me... Congratulations I'm not sure I'm still with me or not.

So I'll move on to the "OK I like how this all looks and I've saved everything I've done"

GREAT you can calculate the right number of signatures and print from here OR you can take a few extra steps.

Hit File, Export, hit Create PDF/XPS. I hope you have at least a free Acrobat or PDF reader. Wait. Don't panic if it looks like the processor is freezing up on you. there should be a pop up of a PDF after that minor heart attack.

Now. With your new PDF you're going to go to Bookbinder JS

Upload the pdf file you've created and I'll walk you through the steps.

Letter 612 x 792 is your standard 8.5 x 11 paper.

Printer type- Duplex I hope you have a duplex printer. You'll need it or else you will be manually flipping the pages to make this book bind.

Folio- That is just 8.5 x 11 paper folded in half to make 8.5 x 5.5 booklets. Keep these numbers in mind.

Signature format- there you can select "Perfect bound" AKA Paperback. Or Standard signature. Here I select 20 page signatures. Keep in mind that there will be four pages per one sheet of paper.

Preview output ALWAYS preview output because it will tell you how many signatures will be with the upload. For example:

What this means: Total pages of the file uploaded, since the fic I'm type facing is 300+k words I divided the chapters up.

so you know what a 100+k word fic looks like printed folded and the air compressed (I will cover this as well) Keep this in mind this was Celestial Navigation now add similarly stacked pages atop of what's here. 100+k fics it's wisest and best to split this in half. Keep in mind your wrists. 500-600 pages is comfortable holding. You can get to around 800 pages but if it's 900+ pages I would think about dividing the document up.

After you are happy with the number of everything. Hit "Generate Output" wait for the popup for the save file to appear and hit "Save" this will be in a zip file as well. Head over to your Downloads and hit extract, open up the file and some terminology that will help with this:

Aggregate book means "the whole damn thing" Signature 0 is the first signature.

To spare the wrath and protest of my printer- I print one signature at a time and fold it since I don't have to worry about getting the page numbers to line up.

Take however much time you please. Next post. Folding signatures, pressing signatures, stitching, gluing end bands and ribbons.

aka- welcome to the world little fic. We hope you enjoy your stay. You're going to be a real book soon.

If I wasn't running out of steam I would cover Quartos. But if you wanted to print a smaller fic know this- increase the text size through out the whole document, these things are SMALL. 4.5x5.5 all said and done. I would go to TikTok and Youtube and look up "Quarto Book bind" if you want to see the smallest, cutest most pain in your ass book you've ever wanted to try and make.

I've done those as experiments as well... they can be fun but my god I'm bad at mathing at times.

[styleslistic]

How it Turned Out - Harry Styles Fic Part 9

Y/N and Harry have a couple of stolen conversations during TPWK filming

Masterlist

Taglist: @theekyliepage @sleutherclaw @b-reads-things @mxltifxnd0m @lovurryy golden-hoax @spinningoutwaiting4ya @gothmingguk (just reply or send an ask to be added)

Y/N and Harry had gotten through their final day of rehearsals without anyone catching on to the fact that they had ended up spending the night in the studio.

But then Y/N had been flown off to play a massive show in Mexico, while the beginning of filming got underway. She wasn’t needed for all the scenes. So, once again, they were left wanting more, with only the question of when they’d be able to steal a moment together.

That said, when Y/N made it back to set several days later, it felt like they’d not been apart. Dancing felt easy alongside Harry. The two of them found it near impossible not to grin at one another when they caught each others’ eyes, even mid-way through a take. But luckily, the director seemed to absolutely lap this up, mistaking it for acting. So they took the opportunity to really ham up their interactions on camera, relishing the fact that although everyone else thought their playfulness was just for show, it was the realest thing going on in the room.

In a spare moment, when the crew was fiddling with the lighting, they found themselves sat alone at one of the tables on the set. Well, not alone, there were people all around them, but there was a degree of privacy to be found in the chaos surrounding them. 

“I’ve been thinking, over the past few days,” said Harry. “I really think we can make this work.” His voice was quietly determined. “And I well, I don’t know much about what seeing other people or sleeping with other people but being together would look like, but I really like the idea of it. I think it’ll make the distance a bit less terrifying.”

“It is pretty terrifying isn’t it. If stuff does happen with someone else, do you want us to tell each other about it?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so. It’s better out in the open, and that way we’re already talking about it so if one of us feels weird about anything it’ll be easy to let the other know.”

“Smart, sexy and talented,” Y/N chuckled. “You’ve really got it all Harry.”

“Well, that’s why this is gonna work, right? Birds of a feather,” he winked.

“Smooth.”

“It’s kind of hilarious how right our fans were about us isn’t it?” Harry said.

“It is, imagine the field day they’d have if they knew.” 

“Oh for real,” Harry said. “We would never hear the end of it.”

___

At the end of the day, the whole cast and crew celebrated the end of filming with a quick glass of prosecco. Harry and Y/N were trapped in separate conversations with excited crew members for the duration. Both lovely conversations, sure, but it meant precious minutes they could be talking to one another were lost. 

Instead, it was only as Y/N was outside, waiting for her car, that they got a final moment to talk. 

“Guess this is bye for now, then,” Harry said.

“Yeah, guess so. But we’ve got plans to make plans,” she chuckled lightly. “We’re gonna write a song, and I’m gonna come see one of your shows, I’ll make sure of it.”

“You wanna see my show?” Harry said, looking excited and a little hopeful.

“What a ridiculous question, of course I do,” Y/N said. “Top of my to do list. I wanna see you in your element. And it’s not fair that you’ve seen my show but I’ve not got to see you.”

“Okay,” Harry smiled. “Come see my show, and if you’re lucky I might let you come backstage afterwards.” 

“Don’t start playing hard to get now, I think I might have already figured out you’re into me.”

Harry tutted comically. “Damnit, I thought I was playing it so cool.” They laughed together for a few seconds. When silence fell between them, the mood shifted. They both knew it was time to leave. 

Harry stepped forward and pulled Y/N into a hug. She threw her arms around him, and buried her face in his chest, inhaling his scent for a last moment. 

A throat cleared behind them: Y/N’s assistant. 

“Car’s here,” they said simply.

Y/N gave Harry a final squeeze, then separated from him. 

“Bye, see you soon yeah?” Harry said. His eyes looked a little glossy.

“Soon,” Y/N nodded. 

She got into the car and shoved her headphones into her ears, staring stubbornly out of the opposite window as they pulled away so that she’d didn’t have to watch Harry fade into the distance. 

___

SORRY I know this was a short one but it is what it is! 

[elmaxlys]

2 parts dream

First dream was about Tokyo Ghoul, and specifically about Roma and Uta, both of them being mid severe depressive episodes. Even killing and stuff wasn't fun anymore and they just. Couldn't laugh. Couldn't even cry. Could barely move. Roma screamed in the void at some point but that didn't change anything. Uta just sat in his studio, fiddling with his tools and staring at nothing. Someone (Itori possibly) jokingly lamented that the problem when you don't exist for the law is that you can't get a therapist when the one who usually plays that role is thrown in jail (referring to Donato, and I remember thinking oh yeah because he's very similar to Dr Lecter)

Second part was about yours truly being stuck on a fucking plane for 2 days and a half. There's a before and I woke up before the after but yeah. Mainly the plane. We all had des dossards with numbers on them. In the airport, people were playing with that, going like we have to "capture" everyone with their number starting with zero (my number was 356 but some kids still went after me despite THEIR number starting with zero. anyway.) I don't remember much else apart that it was stressful and annoying

For the stats: 1st part- I just. wasn't there. my thoughts intervened once but I wasn't in that dream. 2nd part- regular me, legal name

[strawberry-barista]

⚅ — Anonymous asked: — ⚅

⚅ — You were right, no one wants to hear what you have to say. Why would they? You're useless. No one needs you, not even Joshua, now that he has Hope. Every single person you love feels unloved, unloveable, do you really think that's a coincidence? No. You make them feel that way.

You push a sense of closeness onto everyone around you to fuel your own ego, your own desires, and are unwilling to consider any other kinds of relationships. You miss the warmth and comfort of your own family, and you try to fill that hole with impressionable, troubled "kids" who you claim to adopt. But what kind of parent has a favorite child, Sanae? How do you think Joel felt when you told him that? How do you think it feels to always play second-fiddle to a whiny, entitled brat who has done nothing but hurt you, who won't even let you avenge your own daughter?

Oh, but he lets you hug him. And kiss him. And where would you be without that? That's why you cling so hard, why you let him mistreat you--you would be so cold and lonely without him, and you couldn't stand that. It doesn't matter how subpar you think his personality is, because he shuts right up when you're giving him affection, anyways, and don't you love it when he does that?

Ah, well, don't let me stop you from continuing to ruin the lives of everyone you decide to "adopt." I hope the next old man who bumps foreheads with you and calls you "Kitten" is somehow able to love you back. — ⚅

Insult the Muse!

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

It takes Hanekoma a moment to respond to this. There was so much vehemence in it, and it was almost hateful in its delivery. He wondered if he had done something to hurt this person in the past. Or maybe it was just the case of someone trying so hard it was coming off as desperate...

In any case, it wasn't entirely wrong. He had made terrible mistakes, and he had to acknowledge that. He couldn't act like nothing happened. It was the current that really had any sway on things, though. Not that he should forget these past transgressions, but that he should move forward anyway. That was the name of the game, wasn't it? Move forward anyway.

He pulled a grin at his customer and turned to pour them a coffee float, "In the midst of all that, you still found a way to wish me happiness in the future? That's sweet'a ya, boss~ Mm... In all seriousness, though, you gotta know all that stuff, that... Those bad memories? They're just that. I have to do what I can to atone for that... Ah, but... That's probably not a satisfying answer, is it?"

He glanced over his shoulder to spy his guest, judging the weight in their posture before returning to his work. This one was coming along nicely, and it has was sure the dollop of ice cream would soften them up a bit.

"Let me address everything you've talked about, one at a time... I am... Painfully aware of just how much no one needs me. It's one of my biggest... Ah... Hurdles, I guess. I'm not supposed to call 'em problems anymore. Negative language, ya know. But yeah. That's something I gotta work on. Well, I just see it this way, now: if I'm not needed, all the better. That means they're doin' good, or they're on the road to doin' good. I shouldn't want someone to need me. Emotionally, spiritually, or physically. I want everyone to be independent and happy with their lives. And I'm glad Joshua is finding help in others. I want him to make more friends and family. It's good for 'im. It's a good step. It doesn't bother me if that pulls him away from me. He's free to live his life with whoever he wants to. I'll always be here for him either way. Mm... I dunno if I would agree that I'm the reason they feel that way, though, boss. We've all got our own hurdles to get over."

He finished brewing the coffee and scooped out the ice cream, being sure to doll it up a bit before he spun around and carefully placed the glass before his guest. If there was no one else in the café at the time, he was happy to show off his skills and be flashy here.

"Now, when it comes to my trying to use them to replace my own family, you're... Kind of right. I'll give ya that. I've got this big old hole in my chest, boss, and I wanna fill it with all the warmth and love and happiness that I miss from 'em. And so I try to build a family with those people I get invested in. And yeah, maybe I could learn to chill a little about that. After all, not everyone wants that outta me. Haz, too, he didn't wanna be that close. So... I'm learning to step back and respect their boundaries. That's something I'm working on right now. The reason I told Joel about how I felt was because I didn't want him to feel blindsided by that information later, or suddenly understand it to then feel as if he wasn't important because of it. And I didn't want him to feel lied to in case he already knew. Lemme give ya a little secret, boss. Most parents have favorites. I bet even single kids have parents who play favorites among their friends. But that's not what this is. My connection to Joshua is on a whole other kinda level. We're soulmates, I truly believe that. Bound by countless universes. He's literally the one person I am destined to be tied to, no matter what. Of course I love him most. I can't help that. But when your heart's as big as mine, there's plenty'a room, and that's the important thing."

And finally he leaned forward, pressed his elbows against the counter and he lowered himself down and gazed over his glasses at the other, really sized them up. He couldn't help how his smile got just a little bigger, how proud he was of himself for holding these truths in his hands and being able to look them full force, dead in the eye.

"Aaaand, about your little comment? I can truly say that I wish that for myself, too, one'a these days. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that a part'a me still wishes it could be the obvious, but that's done and over. And I'm movin' on. I'm not holding out for anything, of course, but if I stumble into love, maybe I'll try a little harder next time, eh?"