#mentioned: fallenphxtxgrapher

[strawberista]

╭┈──── ◌ೄ◌ྀ ˊˎ “̳I̳f̳ ̳y̳o̳u̳ ̳t̳h̳i̳n̳k̳ ̳y̳o̳u̳ ̳c̳a̳n̳ ̳d̳o̳ ̳e̳v̳e̳r̳y̳t̳h̳i̳n̳g̳ ̳b̳y̳ ̳y̳o̳u̳r̳s̳e̳l̳f̳,̳ ̳y̳o̳u̳’̳r̳e̳ ̳i̳n̳ ̳f̳o̳r̳ ̳s̳o̳m̳e̳ ̳h̳a̳r̳d̳ ̳l̳e̳s̳s̳o̳n̳s̳.̳”̳_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

⚅— 𝕊𝔸ℕ𝔸𝔼 ℍ𝔸ℕ𝔼𝕂𝕆𝕄𝔸 𝕆𝔽 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕎𝕆ℝ𝕃𝔻 𝔼ℕ𝔻𝕊 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕐𝕆𝕌 —⚅ ⚅— ᵂʳⁱᵗᵗᵉⁿ ᵇʸ ᴷᵒʰⁱ —⚅ ⚅— ᴵⁿᵈⁱᵉ. | ᶜᵃⁿᵒⁿ⁻ᴰⁱᵛᵉʳᵍᵉⁿᵗ | ˢᵉᵐⁱ⁻ˢᵉˡᵉᶜᵗⁱᵛᵉ —⚅

•❅───✧❅ＲＵＬＥＳ|ＭＵＳＥ|ＭＵＮ|ＶＥＲＳＥＳ❅✧───❅•

[strawberista]

A diminutive answer, but that probably just meant that Natsume wasn't feeling particularly uncomfortable. Sometimes it could be difficult to read him without scanning. He turned on his heel and continued along the street, letting his eyes fall to his feet instead. The way they looked side by side, how little they fit together. But there was something beautiful in that, how different the two of them really were.

"Three boys and a girl. Hope is likely to love ya as soon as ya meet, and Joshua is likely to hate ya no matter what you do. Joel tends to be sorta scared'a people, and Sho is... Well, he's hardly around. Out on 'is own adventures. He doesn't really take to people, either, though. He's aggressive and pushy. Joshua is aggressive in a different way. He's haughty and venomous. But they've got good reasons for bein' that way. They got hurt a lot in their lifetimes, and so they gotta be guarded... Mmm... Not that I think it'll ever matter for you. I don't intend on ever lettin' you guys meet. I feel like it'd cause more problems than necessary, and you're RG anyway. There's not a lotta ways you guys could understand each other."

“ah I see....” Natsume said as he look over his shoulder 

[hopeful-hugz]

“Thanks you guys, that really means a lot. I just wanna... I dunno try it out and see if they fit at all? Finding identity and all that, y’know?”

[mystical-strawberry-sheep]

🍓Starter for @fallenphxtxgrapher🍓

🍓~🐑~🍓

Aku melted against the cool of the counter having touched the coffee made special for her very little. The shop's proprietor had taken off some time ago so she didn't feel a need to try to playact for the moment. She was cold and tired, but more than that she was just having a bad day. Usually coming into Wildkat helped that, but Hanekoma apparently had someone very important in the building and really didn't have time to talk to her.

She didn't really know who it was, but she was worried about him. Someone he'd been bent over since he'd come in, speaking to him in a low voice and petting his head all the while. He didn't really do the touching thing unless someone was really bad off, she'd noticed, so this poor guy had to be in a lot of pain.

Hanekoma finally finished cooing to him and turned away, speaking over his shoulder as he headed into the kitchen, "You just hold tight, Viewfinder. I'll getcha some pumpkin donuts."

Viewfinder. Must have been a friend. Aku watched Hanekoma as he disappeared behind the kitchen door and got to work, and the two of them were left alone in the lobby, though a few seats apart. Aku gazed at the cash register, which gave her just enough space to study the stranger in her periphery. And... She wasn't sure where it was sitting, exactly, but she could tell. That he was hurting. In pain somehow, maybe afraid. She probably couldn't do anything to help, after as much as she'd already screwed up that day, but if she couldn't feel good, she should at least try to help someone else feel a little better.

But she wasn't entirely sure how to go about that, so just lifting her head a little, she pushed herself to turn her eyes fully on the other and with every ounce of bravery she could muster asked: "Are you like... sad?"

[strawberista]

"I don't mind. I love small talk," Hanekoma hummed, not really looking up fro his work but acknowledging Uriah all the same. "Nor would I say you're exactly 'unusual'. Different would be a better word, in my opinion. Different to a lotta things I've seen, but not something I can't handle. I don't know enough about the world you originated from to really say for sure everything that's goin' on with ya, but I think I understand a little better why you think there's such a difference between darkness and light. You're made out of a light element, so it makes sense. But here... Well, things get a little more muddled than that. It really only applies to the afterlife, but certain items have what we like to call affinities, and light and darkness are only two of fourteen of these affinities. And these affinities don't really oppose each other as much as they oppose certain beings in the afterlife. It's not really something I should be talking about yet, though. We'll save that for when you've passed away."

He talked about death so casually, but that probably had something to do with the fact that he himself was already a ghost, as he'd called himself. A ghost with the ability to exist in the living world, and live in an apartment and cook food just like it were any other day. He stood there just pleased as punch, adding ingredients to the pot to heat before the chicken was added.

"And yeah," he continued, finally turning away to better address Uriah while he waited for him to finish with the chicken, "I do like to cook. It was something I really fell in love with once I started working in a cafe. And the care and love that gets put into a dish, I really couldn't ignore the poetry of that. I loved it. It makes me feel good to... To be able to cook for the ones I love."

That was a little bit of a sore spot. Even his children really didn't get to have a meal with him too often. Joshua was forced to keep a distance from him since they were so bad for each other, and Hope was busy traveling all over the multiverse to learn and grow and help those in need. Joel and Minamimoto had been silent, and even his attempts to reach out to them had gone largely unheeded. He was alone, most of the time, and the best he could do was send things off to be received at a later date, when he wouldn't be there to see them. It could be incredibly isolating of a feeling, if he thought about it too much, but he chose not to linger on it, to instead pour his pride for them and their growth into that hollow place instead. It was healthier for him that way.

Uriah had begun to season the chicken as he occasionally looked over at Sanae when he wasn't looking and kept looking him over before going back to continue what he was doing. "So.." He said as he sprinkled some pepper that he had in a small measuring cup on different parts of the chicken.

"You enjoy cooking. As do I. Although currently I'm trying to master certain Italian dishes. I mainly cooked for myself because I was alone for a very long time. It's a hobby of mine besides studying magic." He said before he began to put the other seasoning on the chicken. He then chuckled.

"You can probably tell I am an unusual being. Although I prefer the term different." He replied as he finished with the seasoning and turned towards Sanae. "I do hope you don't mind the chit chat as we cook."

[strawberista]

Kitties! He's just going to put out some fish dishes for his favorite kitty-cat boys. He knows they'll probably wander in at some point and get their fill.

[strawberista]

⚅— @the-grim-heaper asked: —⚅ ⚅— “$” —⚅

Text Prompts

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma took off the bandana around his neck and swiped it over his forehead as he crouched by the wall and opened up his text messages. He didn't even realize he'd smeared paint that had gotten on his face, but he didn't much care about it anyway. He was in a hurry with everything today, so he was a bit scrambled as he quickly navigated menus and typed up a text.

Rune: I'm putting in a request for your presence at Wildkat today. I understand your schedule keeps you relatively busy, so it's okay for it to wait until after your work, but if you can squeeze me in at any time today, I would appreciate the effort. It has come to my attention that Joel has cut contact not only from just myself, but most of everyone else as well. I'll be contacting Sho Minamimoto later today as well, so be sure not to bring Dove. I believe it is time the three of us devised an intervention for him. He needs help, and I know you can set up lines with STM before I the time of the intervention. We can discuss options at the meeting, which I will arrange as soon as I have word of your time of arrival, so please update me with that information as soon as you can. Thank you, Pops.

He backed out of the messenger app before he took notice of the fact he'd sent this message to Minamimoto himself on accident and tucked it in his pocket, rushing to collect his things and get out of dodge before anyone showed up.

[strawberista]

{Thinking about how Hanekoma views platonic and familial and romantic bonds, and how he expresses those, and the differences between them and those things. Because I feel like if someone were to look in just on a surface level and not really think about it too deeply, it might be a little hard to tell. That maybe the kind of intense feelings he has for Joshua or Hope or Joel might seem romantic to someone just passing by or someone who isn't really looking into it. And how Hanekoma's unorthodox methods of loving his family and his friends might look like romantic to the person who doesn't really know what's going on with him, or maybe even just the average person in general.}

{So I thought, maybe I should talk about that a little bit.}

⚅— Hanekoma and Love —⚅

⚀ For Hanekoma, intention is everything. And maybe that in itself might be enough to explain a lot of this. The way and the kind of love Hanekoma feels has almost everything to do with the feelings and intentions behind the act, the symbolism and the emotion of it all. He is a deeply emotional person, to the point that he cannot even enjoy physical acts of intimacy in any casual capacity. He has to have some sort of emotional tie into an act before he can be comfortable doing it.

⚀ This might also be a reason why he tries to lean into the route of scooping someone up into his family rather than just leaving it at casual friends. He can have just friends in his life, but the more attached he gets to a person and the more emotion he puts into their relationship, the more he will want to deepen that meaning of the relationship to some extent, and being family is simply his go-to for those situations. For people who reciprocate his feelings, that emotion is obviously going to grow tenfold, which is why he tends to lean so hard into loving someone that displays that they're okay with the way he provides affection to his loved ones.

⚀ Hanekoma's desire for physical affection to his family members can be really uncomfortable from an orthodox standpoint, especially if one believes in the principle of people becoming too old to accept forms of affection from their parental figures like cuddling, kissing, and being held. For those individuals, Hanekoma's acts of affection could easily come off as more romantic in nature, especially the way he talks about Joshua in particular in inner dialogue and how he views him as his soulmate. But for Hanekoma, soulmates are not a strictly romantic idea but more of a repeated pattern across parallel universes. Many Hanekomas he's met have been attached to Yoshiya Kiryu in some form or another, and so he believes Joshua is his soulmate. But it isn't a romantic love in any sense of the word. Joshua's love has a very specific imprint on his heart, and the trust and intention that they've built for each other over the years as firmly placed Joshua as his child, a familial bond. The things he does with Joshua are symbolically and emotionally very different from what he might do with a romantic partner, even if the actions themselves are similar or even identical in nature.

⚀ Much like art, Hanekoma's view of love and the types of relationships he forms with others is highly dependent on his interpretation of the situation, and the way that he feels when looking at a person can deeply alter the way he will feel doing certain actions with them. While I haven't explored the concept of a romantic partner on this blog, Hanekoma would take those same actions of holding and kissing and cuddling with a romantic partner and view them entirely differently from what he would were he with Joshua. This is once again the same reason why the term Kitten can get a completely different reaction out of him depending on who it's being said by and who it's being used on. While the base reason for being attached to the term is the same when used by Eanas verses when he uses it on Joel, because he has a completely different outlook on Eanas the term holds entirely different connotations.

{This is one of those things that I really struggle to properly display in my writing just because I'm not really sure how to write it in a way that is nuanced and clear enough to the reader, and even when trying to explain it here I don't feel like I'm not doing a very good job of it. But I think this is one of the more interesting aspects of my version of Hanekoma and one of those things that I think about a lot, so I wanted to talk about it. Thank you for taking the time to read this if you made it this far.}

[strawberista]

"So this is what we're doing tonight, huh?"

[strawberista]

He...! He called him "Dad"!

[strawberista]

⚅ — Anonymous asked: — ⚅

⚅ — You were right, no one wants to hear what you have to say. Why would they? You're useless. No one needs you, not even Joshua, now that he has Hope. Every single person you love feels unloved, unloveable, do you really think that's a coincidence? No. You make them feel that way.

You push a sense of closeness onto everyone around you to fuel your own ego, your own desires, and are unwilling to consider any other kinds of relationships. You miss the warmth and comfort of your own family, and you try to fill that hole with impressionable, troubled "kids" who you claim to adopt. But what kind of parent has a favorite child, Sanae? How do you think Joel felt when you told him that? How do you think it feels to always play second-fiddle to a whiny, entitled brat who has done nothing but hurt you, who won't even let you avenge your own daughter?

Oh, but he lets you hug him. And kiss him. And where would you be without that? That's why you cling so hard, why you let him mistreat you--you would be so cold and lonely without him, and you couldn't stand that. It doesn't matter how subpar you think his personality is, because he shuts right up when you're giving him affection, anyways, and don't you love it when he does that?

Ah, well, don't let me stop you from continuing to ruin the lives of everyone you decide to "adopt." I hope the next old man who bumps foreheads with you and calls you "Kitten" is somehow able to love you back. — ⚅

Insult the Muse!

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

It takes Hanekoma a moment to respond to this. There was so much vehemence in it, and it was almost hateful in its delivery. He wondered if he had done something to hurt this person in the past. Or maybe it was just the case of someone trying so hard it was coming off as desperate...

In any case, it wasn't entirely wrong. He had made terrible mistakes, and he had to acknowledge that. He couldn't act like nothing happened. It was the current that really had any sway on things, though. Not that he should forget these past transgressions, but that he should move forward anyway. That was the name of the game, wasn't it? Move forward anyway.

He pulled a grin at his customer and turned to pour them a coffee float, "In the midst of all that, you still found a way to wish me happiness in the future? That's sweet'a ya, boss~ Mm... In all seriousness, though, you gotta know all that stuff, that... Those bad memories? They're just that. I have to do what I can to atone for that... Ah, but... That's probably not a satisfying answer, is it?"

He glanced over his shoulder to spy his guest, judging the weight in their posture before returning to his work. This one was coming along nicely, and it has was sure the dollop of ice cream would soften them up a bit.

"Let me address everything you've talked about, one at a time... I am... Painfully aware of just how much no one needs me. It's one of my biggest... Ah... Hurdles, I guess. I'm not supposed to call 'em problems anymore. Negative language, ya know. But yeah. That's something I gotta work on. Well, I just see it this way, now: if I'm not needed, all the better. That means they're doin' good, or they're on the road to doin' good. I shouldn't want someone to need me. Emotionally, spiritually, or physically. I want everyone to be independent and happy with their lives. And I'm glad Joshua is finding help in others. I want him to make more friends and family. It's good for 'im. It's a good step. It doesn't bother me if that pulls him away from me. He's free to live his life with whoever he wants to. I'll always be here for him either way. Mm... I dunno if I would agree that I'm the reason they feel that way, though, boss. We've all got our own hurdles to get over."

He finished brewing the coffee and scooped out the ice cream, being sure to doll it up a bit before he spun around and carefully placed the glass before his guest. If there was no one else in the café at the time, he was happy to show off his skills and be flashy here.

"Now, when it comes to my trying to use them to replace my own family, you're... Kind of right. I'll give ya that. I've got this big old hole in my chest, boss, and I wanna fill it with all the warmth and love and happiness that I miss from 'em. And so I try to build a family with those people I get invested in. And yeah, maybe I could learn to chill a little about that. After all, not everyone wants that outta me. Haz, too, he didn't wanna be that close. So... I'm learning to step back and respect their boundaries. That's something I'm working on right now. The reason I told Joel about how I felt was because I didn't want him to feel blindsided by that information later, or suddenly understand it to then feel as if he wasn't important because of it. And I didn't want him to feel lied to in case he already knew. Lemme give ya a little secret, boss. Most parents have favorites. I bet even single kids have parents who play favorites among their friends. But that's not what this is. My connection to Joshua is on a whole other kinda level. We're soulmates, I truly believe that. Bound by countless universes. He's literally the one person I am destined to be tied to, no matter what. Of course I love him most. I can't help that. But when your heart's as big as mine, there's plenty'a room, and that's the important thing."

And finally he leaned forward, pressed his elbows against the counter and he lowered himself down and gazed over his glasses at the other, really sized them up. He couldn't help how his smile got just a little bigger, how proud he was of himself for holding these truths in his hands and being able to look them full force, dead in the eye.

"Aaaand, about your little comment? I can truly say that I wish that for myself, too, one'a these days. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that a part'a me still wishes it could be the obvious, but that's done and over. And I'm movin' on. I'm not holding out for anything, of course, but if I stumble into love, maybe I'll try a little harder next time, eh?"

[strawberista]

Hanekoma wrapped an arm around him and nuzzled against his head, quietly smiling despite the storm brewing in his head. He knew he was probably overthinking things, though, and if he attempted to overcompensate he'd just make things uncomfortable. Natsume was a quiet person, but he'd surely say something if he wanted something. He wouldn't keep anything to himself now that they were meant to be together.

He probably needed to learn to be honest himself, but pushing himself to talk about everything was still very dangerous, and he didn't want to pull Natsume into his work if he could avoid it. Besides, no one really knew about Natsume. Not Hope or Joshua. Not Joel. He worried it would be awkward to talk about or to talk to them about Natsume. How did he even bring this up? These were secrets that could potentially ruin everything, but it was all so complicated...

"You gonna stay the night here?" Hanekoma asked as he gazed across the room absently. "Should I get ya set up for the night?"

Natsume seat next to him with a soft smile as he lightly lean on him

[hopeful-hugz]

🥚 Keeping track of some of the loose “Storylines” going on and making tags for them. Also mentioning the blogs involved in the tags.

🌌 Moving the Story Along... (Main Plot) 🤍 Teyvat Travels (Hope || Quest to Make Joel a Custom Calayst) 🖤 The Heartless Archivist (Chamyle || Wonderworld Side Plot) 🖤 Truth, Lies and Parties (Chamyle || Mystic Messenger Side Plot*) 💜 The Too-Pure Spirit (Melody || Wonderworld Side Plot) 💙 Three’s Company (Teal || Pokemon Side Plot*) 🧡 Little Fires, Big Beginnings (Fir || Pokemon Side Plot)

* Ship potential

[hopeful-hugz]

@fallenphxtxgrapher​ asked: [ from: unknown number (Kokabiel) ] txt: um hello, this Cam? txt: m Koko, friend of Hope's txt: told me to shoot a text your way, not sure if i got the number right 

Oh, well this was a surprise. Hope had mentioned a friend of hers would be in contact but she didn’t think they would actually make contact.

[ Chamyle ] : Yes, you’ve reached Chamyle Raydeo. And you must be Koko. [ Chamyle ] : If Hope gave you my personal number, I’m guessing you need assistance with something rather important. [ Chamyle ] : What seems to be the issue?

[mystical-strawberry-sheep]

🍓 @fallenphxtxgrapher asked: 🍓

🍓 1. What is your favorite trope to rp?

2. Name 3 things you admire about OCs.

5. What is a character you love, but don’t think you can write?

6. Name 3 things you love most about your muse/muses. 🍓

RP Mun Meme

🍓~🐑~🍓

🍓 trope - I don't have any tropes I really love above the others, just some things that I would like to write and hadn't gotten the chance yet. But a safe bet for me is always hurt/comfort type tropes or general fluff types. And angst, but y'all knew that already. XD Trying not to do that as much.

🍓 OCs - One thing I really love about OCs are how uniquely they can fit into their worlds, be that a canon universe or one made by their muns. Another thing I love is how much care goes into their designs. It's professional work that people just do for fun for the sheer love of creativity. And one more is just how much people love their OCs. And how obsessed they are with them. It's beautiful, I think.

🍓 Impossible Muses - Oh man, there are so many? But at one point I considered writing some of the more prominent characters of the Twewy games and sticking them to @networkscrambled . Neku was once considered, and at another time I thought about trying for Hazuki. Not to mention the times I considered Fret and Nagi. But I realized these characters were probably just a little too big for me. I look at how completely off-canon Decaf has gotten and I really didn't want to do that to them because I really like staying close to canon and I need to wait until I can like, do that.

🍓 My Muses - This super depends on the muse but I'll try to be general about it. One thing I love about my muses is that some of them give me an outlet to find comfort in ways I can't at home. I haven't been able to achieve a lot of them yet, but you know. Another thing is that it's really fun to imagine what they would look like and how they would behave in different aus and other types of situations. And one more thing is that I find joy in watching my characters interact with other muns' characters. It's very fun.

[strawberista]

"Well, shit. I'm sorry, boss. I guess I really shoulda said something sooner. My kids are all grown, so you likely won't be meeting them anytime soon. Three of 'em are dead like me. The fourth is... Ah, she's a doctor. If ya want, next time we meet up I can tell you more about 'em. But I won't have much time today. It's been a while since we all got together like this, and I've been missin' 'em. When are you free next?"

“hm? I don’t remember you mention you have kids.” Natsume said a teasing tone in his voice. Natsume just finished taking a bath so he felt nice and clean.