#and even though i'd never commented or posted anything there i read that people started talking about me

[pomefioredove]

Hai hai! I wanted to request HCs for Riddle, Ace, Cater, Leona, Jamil, Azul, Floyd, Jade, Vil, and Malleus (apologies, that's a lot of characters-) with a reader that is normally awkward/easy to fluster but will randomly do or say something really bold. If that's already been done then please ignore!

Hope you have a nice day! Or night! Or secret third thing???? :3

I think this is rather similar to this, but I haven't done some of these characters with this prompt so I'll just write them here :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ the boys do a flirt (part 2)

type of post: headcanons characters: ace, cater, floyd, jade additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

we all know that Ace prides himself on his flirting skills

what can he say?

seeing you get all shy and giggly is a huge ego boost for him

he can't help himself!

even his corniest lines get a reaction out of you, it's too easy

(and giving Deuce secondhand embarrassment is a big bonus)

he starts to think that maybe he's overdone it when you start using his own lines against him

it catches him by surprise every time

and he can't even play it cool!

but, he'll admit, he's... kinda into it

turns out the taste of his own medicine is pretty sweet

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

not unlike Ace, Cater just really likes getting a reaction out of you

for one, it's good for his self-esteem

for another, you're the cutest thing he's even seen

and, finally, he knows just how to press your buttons

even his brain works on an algorithm

he figures out what you react to the most, and then uses that until you're reduced to a flustered mess

rinse and repeat

and when you start giving back the same energy, he's...

well, surprised, but also...

damn...

what's a friendship without a little tension that makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable, anyway?

^ Riddle hates you both

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I had to think about how Floyd would flirt for longer than I'd like to admit

like... he bites people, right? we agree that he bites?

generally just annoying on purpose

closing books while you're reading them, stealing your things (and then pretending he doesn't have them), holding your things above his head where you can't reach...

anything to get you all riled up

it's adorable!

he's more used to being yelled at than flirted back with, though

this is much better, in his opinion

let's hope you're more clever than he is, though

he adapts fast

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

flirting with Jade means a lot of subtle comments and subdued looks

let's hope you're good at reading subtext...

you're going to need all the help you can get with this one

one careless glance in your direction could be him checking you out, and you'd never know

being, perhaps, the most subtle of flirts in this post, your boldness almost makes him blush

it's as if you're not even afraid of him

how... interesting

if you hadn't caught his full attention before, you surely have now

[lunebulous]

Author Recommendations

This post will be updated as I remember more people - I never saved anything about what I read.

If you want yourself removed from this list - let me know! No problem! But keep in mind this list was made for me to keep track of my favourites and as acknowledgment of people that I look up to, as I strive to be as good as them. Also, if I did, I interacted with you using my main blog, not this one. DM me if you need anything.

Thank you, all!

@plutotheplum

Has amazing chemistry while writing any character. She brings out genuine interactions without feeling too unrealistic, you'll read without realizing how into it you are, like in a trance. Everytime I read something that takes me out instantly, I know it's hers.

@rose-tinted-kalopsia

Is a very sweet person with a very obvious Xavier preference, her blog is beautiful - she makes it very impressive how much effort she puts into it - and everything she writes is in-character and cherry-picked to tug at your heart. Also, she's constantly panicking and that's very cute. Take a look!

@comatosebunny09

Currently on semi-hiatus, they only write for Sylus - keep that in mind. Their blog is amazing, very organized! Everything they write leaves you wanting more, so even though they have a lot of available stories, you'll read it all in no time.

@monster-effer

I really hope she starts writing more. The way she does it is very unique, in a way that everything is well-described, but nothing is too much to read. It is all very natural - you'll know what i'm talking about when you take a look at her blog!

@peachylynnie

Well. One day I decided to binge on her blog and accidentally left too many comments - sorry guys I'm addicted to supporting talented people - and her work makes me squeal EVERYTIME for a reason or another. God, it's all so good! (╥﹏╥)

@h4venpha

We have another Sylus fan here, and they write him extremely in-character. I like all of their works with no exception, always making me turn off my phone to recollect myself. I'd read everything they write even if they were a worm. (writing in wormish).

[dunmeshistash]

Greetings, Mr. Meshi!

This is perhaps a bit of an unorthodox question, but one that has been bothering me for an unreasonable amount of time.

Now, here's the thing: I OBSESS over Marcille outliving everyone she holds dear. It's a theme very close to me, but even beyond that I just find it to be one of the most interesting elements of Dungeon Meshi's story for me personally. I've written an embarrassing amount of lengthy essays on it that will never see the light of day - that's how obsessed I am over this specific element of her character. But, there's something that bothers me...

A lot of poignant stories and artworks that tackle this topic get comments on 'em whenever Falin is the subject of aging, each one some variation of "Everything points to Falin having an extended lifespan after her revival!" which... Seems weird to me?

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but setting aside my personal annoyances, I don't remember anything pointing to this at all. At least, nothing concrete.

I don't know if this is a question you'd want to answer or not, but since your blog is a hub for all sorts of opinions and headcanons, I'd love to know where this line of thought could originate from.

I really wouldn't blame you if you didn't answer this question, though. Part of me feels I'm just asking this because I want to see if others share in my confusion or not.

Rrrregardless, though! Lemme take the opportunity to say that your blog is delighful. Love it! Also, that mushroom man with the funny face that sometimes responds to you with lengthy essays is also really cool. Everyone is cool. At least here on the northern hemisphere! It is smack dab in the middle of fall, after all! Coolness all around! Stay frosty! Or don't! Maybe warm up at a fireplace. I don't know!

Hi there! Thank you for the kind words, I love reading other's opinions on what I post so I also love the additions by the mushroom <3

It's quite hot over here in northeast Brazil, send some coolness my way please I'm dying.

Your question isn't strange at all! And I don't mind answering anything (unless it's rude or sounds like shipping war bait) so don't worry.

(Decided to put the rest under a readmore, TLDR: Kui said "maybe so, right?" about Falin having a longer lifespan but I have arguments why I don't think this actually confirms it. Anyway if you're someone who likes the headcanon you might want to skip this post)

To be honest those type of comments bother me too because I also LOVE Marcille's struggle with mortality and sometimes "Falin will live much longer!" feels undermining of the lesson she had to learn. I don't mind it in the headcanon sphere where everything is allowed and happy endings grow on trees but when it becomes intertwined with canon it starts to make me a little disappointed.

Just a reminder of the lesson she has to learn

She has to come to terms with the cycle of life and death, that something she wants (everyone to live longer) shouldn't be forced upon others just because it causes her grief. So, to me at least, Falin being made into something that will end up outliving other tallmen would undermine the message? In a canon sense ofc, if you're writing a wish fulfillment story then her living longer would have a different meaning, I just wanna be clear I have nothing against it in that sense, it all depends on what story you're trying to tell.

Anyway, actually answering your question that idea comes from the fact she was fused to a Red Dragon, and the fact her body has been affected by it, her sight was fixed and she grows feathers for example, so people theorize maybe her lifespan has been affected too. But we don't really know how long dragon's live so it's hard to say how much it would have been affected if at all.

It also comes from this answer Kui gave in a QnA

Q: Would Falin have an extended lifespan after the whole chimera thing? A: Maybe so, right?

To me this reads as the usual non-answers Kui gives, like, "I'll leave it up to your imagination" but for other people this read as a confirmation of the headcanon, in another questions she answers "I hope so" about Thistle leading a happy life after having his desires eaten and it's even debatable if Thistle survived at all so I don't think those comments indicate much of canon (I'm that way about most QnA answers tbh, unless it's something inconsequential like confirming Mithrun's Brother's name or stuff about very minor characters)

Another argument I have against her having a different lifespan is Izutsumi, Izu has been mixed with a monster but continues to age at the same rate a Tallmen would, even tho she also has different biology because of the Great Cat she's fused with (ears, reflexes, eyes etc etc) she is still a tallman

Falin isn't really the same thing as Izutsumi tho, I understand, but it's the closest example we have, if we believe the AB descriptions and demi-humans are really mixes between humans and monsters that's also another argument about it not affecting lifespan, since all of them are short lived and have an average lifespan of 55.

All of this *can* be dissmissed tho, the other demi-humans and beastmen are all mixed with mammal monsters and nothing nearly as powerful as a Dragon, so there is arguments to be made that Falin is different and that she *might* have an extended lifespan, all I'm saying is that there's no solid confirmation of it, it's fine to believe it but going around "correcting" other people saying it's a fact wouldn't be right I don't think, especially if you're saying that in a conversation about Marcille journey of death acceptance.

Death is a touchy subject and everyone is at different stages of their own journeys with it so I really don't want to judge those who would rather have Falin or even Laios live longer. I'm not really sure how to talk about this in the proper way, but I hope I didn't make anyone upset!

[drippingmoon]

Remains of a Night | Aberration of Sunlight: Beta stage!

Hello to everyone! I'm super happy and excited to announce that another one of my wips has reached beta stage. It's a series of two books: with Remains of a Night being the first, and Aberration of Sunlight wrapping up the story. Like before, if anyone would like to give a wee fellow writer a hand, I'd beam in gratitude☺ If not -- if you could at least boost this post, that'd be delightfully kindly of you. ❤

Sign-up period: till April 10

Genre: sci-fi horror, taking place on either an icy planet, or in the dead of cosmic space, as we're on the runnnn

Long story long (both books' blurb):

In purple fields of forget-me-nots, a broken helmet rests. It's the Fourth Dive of Procyon.

The Beast of the Deep Night has long turned into a cataclysm. Now it vies to extinguish humanity. The stars are slowly being tugged its way, and one day they will all Dive inside its void maw. This is the current outlook, in the planets' neon nights of bleakness and numbness. Alexander Madigan, police Superintendent of his planet, is definitely not where he should be. But with the world at an end, and a distress call breaking the silence of his office, he decides to investigate the truth behind the cataclysm. Even if that may draw its lambent eye his way.

He doesn't think his life matters more than the young marine's on the other end, who he wishes he could bring home.

Ages before their reality, the crew of another ship does its best to preserve their own lives. Things have become complicated though: with the addition of a new recruit, and while the Beast is merely a cautionary tale in their time, their impression is that it might have just come to their ship. Nor does it bode well that they have the most selfish human on the journey with them.

Word count: 120k, 123k respectively (RoaN and AoS)

Warnings: gore, body horror, suicidal thoughts, ableism (intentional and unintentional)

This all started out of my love for Halo, (if you share it, I salute you!💞) and for the idea of a creature that could hear the whisperings of the universe to it. Boy, were they bloodthirsty.

What am I looking for?

It's an advanced draft, I went ham on the editing!🥳🤣 so if any typos have dodged my attention... (they always do, the little fuckers), I will be super grateful if you found them. Otherwise, the standard; characters, plot, odd phrasing (this isn't 'quiv, so the writing is standardly clear. Still, if there's anything that makes you squint, I want to know). I do have lists of questions for each chapter, but you can opt out of it and comment free style.

Honestly, I just want your direct thoughts, and if there happens to be someone who's an expert on people who have had one arm devoured... that's a sensitivity beta I could use!🤩

Inconsistencies! Orrrr... if something just so feels like it used to have 5 more chapters on it and now it looks like a visitor from another timeline. Whoops.

Your emotions! Let me eat them! What moments stayed with you, and which had you feel particularly meh! More than everything else on this list, this is the most important one to me.🥹

Very preferably, that you read both books. However, it's purely optional.

What can you expect?

Two pretty word documents! We can talk as much or as little as you want. I do enjoy making friends, though🤭

No deadlines. Having been a beta reader myself more than a handful of times, I know how hard it is. Nevertheless, please do make sure you actually want to do this, and genuinely like the sound of this series.🧐 I will expect you to keep me updated about your progress (nothing fancy; once per month), so I know I'm not being ghosted. It goes without saying you can drop it whenever you want! Just inform me. That way, I'm not waiting, and I can move ahead with my baby. And you've something off your conscience. Win-win.

!! Since I've never shared snippets here, you can absolutely ask for a sample two chapters and decide.

That's it! Thanks for eyeballing this post, and I hope to see some of you! I am genuinely curious and excited about your thoughts, and hopefully someone will have the time🤩💞 for the sign-ups, you can contact me in my DMs, or comment here, and I'll reach out to you! Ta-ta, I'm out! Have a great day!

[mamawasatesttube]

Sorry, I know you don’t really like people bringing up Jason but I’m very curious. I read Straight on Till Morning several times before really joining Tumblr and I was surprised by how much you seem to dislike him compared to how nicely he was written in said fic. Is it cuz it’s a future fic so he can be more chilled out than in current comics or something?

Feel free to ignore me if you want. Curiosity does not owe me answers.

no worries, i don't mind polite questions! :P

so there's two things. a) sotm was written when the only real comics i'd read were sb94, yj98, tt03, batgirl (2000), and nightwing '96 (iirc - i might be forgetting one or two but the point is, when i was pretty new to comics). at this point wfa had tricked me into thinking jason actually had a consistent character arc that i simply hadn't read yet, and i assumed it would be weird to write a fic where dick, tim, and cass were all around as kon's friends + damian was there being jon's friend in the background, but jason didn't get mentioned, so i worked him in bc i thought that was like. gonna be weird if i didn't, even tho i didn't know what he was doing in postcrisis yet. i mostly just wanted to write about kon and did not yet have the strong "actually i do not care for 99% of post-rebirth comics" feelings i have today. if i were to do the sotm rewrite in my mind, jason would actually still be in his villain to antivillain era because that's my actual favorite era of him. i think it's fun when he's hanging around being like... a vengeful ghost who's just determined to make his problems Everyone's Problem. i'm not really interested in soft angsty daddy's boy jtodd or whatever sdkjfh and that seems to be the most popular version of him i see. it's either soft angsty daddy's boy jason or it's power fantasy cop-adjacent jason who has never done anything wrong in his life and is completely valid in every decision he's ever made. neither of these interests me.

which brings me to b) it's not so much that i dislike jason todd as a character so much as that his fans are so fucking annoying to me. that chapter of sotm? multiple people in the comments were there ONLY to talk about jason, even though the fic is literally about kon and not about jason and he just happens to appear for PART of one scene that chapter. it made me get sick of hearing about him. like theres soooo many jason todd fics out there can you go read those. i want to talk about kon! and i've had people bring him up on my completely unrelated fics too like he doesn't even get MENTIONED like one fic is about clark kon and tim, and someone was in the comments like "omg i bet clark was thinking about jason here" and i was so ... dude. read the room. or the fic even. it is not about him.

but even more than the way a lot of jason fans have this apparently compulsive need to make him the main character of the entire universe, i really can't stand how many of them i've seen spout literal straight up copaganda and/or defense of the death penalty. like they will bend over backwards so hard to defend why he was right to put 8 heads in a duffel bag or why it's morally correct to kill rapists that they start spewing right-wing talking points. and the constant need to make him the perfect imperfect victim ("he's angry and loud unlike GOOD victims--") and all of that just... it really turns me off of 99% of fan content about him that i've seen. it makes me genuinely kind of uncomfortable. like if you think there's a category of criminal that it's okay to execute (without a trial, even) i want nothing to do with you. can you guys just say it's sexy when a man is covered in blood after murdering a room full of people without having to be like "and he was right to do it too!!" because i promise he was not. and if you SAY any of this people will come up with a whole thing about how you must hate victims and/or poor people or some shit. its... really something.

all of that being said - i think there are interesting things you COULD do with his character. i think he can be a fascinating character! with stories worth telling! the family tragedy, the horror story, the vengeful ghost! but at this point with how rancid i find his fanbase i just really only want to see jason takes from people i know will not start spewing copaganda at me + people who i know appreciate tim kicking him in the balls (bc he kicked dick in the balls and tim is a bitch).

anyways. bring back tentatodd 2k25 who's with me

[puppetwoman17]

@ace-is-undead It’s nice to meet a new fan! I hope you make lots of friendships on here❤️

For anyone who’s curious, this person asked me:

as someone taking interest in Captain Marvel because of the movies (never heard of him before :/), I'd love to know why you think the movies ruined Billy's image! Bear in mind, I recently started reading some comics about Shazam

I knew I’d be making a hella long comment, so I thought, hell, let’s make a post!

Now, as a preface, I worded what I said a little too strong. The 2019 movie isn’t the worst piece of Shazam/CM media ever. There are definitely parts of it that I liked. The humor was 10/10 for me, and I did like the costumes. There are things about the story I don’t like, but for the purpose of all of us not sitting here for the next two hours, I will stick with just Billy’s personality.

This post will probably have stated everything more eloquently than me lol:

Many Golden Age heroes were created/used to combat war trauma. To the kids who read those comics, it made them feel safe. To read about these people with fantastical abilities, who regularly fought Nazis, supervillains, and entire armies.

Captain Marvel was a little different, though. It wasn’t an adult who was doing the protecting. Or, it wasn’t JUST an adult. It was also Billy Batson. A kid, like all of the other kids reading these comics. And it was different from kid heroes like Robin because he was the hero. The main hero.

Before the New52 reboot, basically from the 40s-2000s, but I could be wrong, Billy was a homeless kid. His uncle Ebenezer threw him out after his parents died and stole his inheritance. He got a job at Whiz Radio and became a reporter, giving him enough money to get his own apartment.

In one continuity, his friend Dudley becomes his guardian. In the most famous interpretation, the Power of Shazam series from the 90s, he is, after some time, adopted by his twin sister Mary’s adoptive family the Bromfields, and Nora Bromfield happens to be their mother’s cousin.

The important thing to grasp from this is that Billy was independent. Responsible. And when he got his powers, he was also responsible with them. He has a few fumbles, but he was always able to keep them and do good with them.

His Captain Marvel persona was also like that. He led the Squadron of Justice, a team of Fawcett heroes. There are also instances of heroes like Batman and Superman praising him as a trustworthy hero, even knowing about his identity.

It’s also important to note that, while in some times the Captain character is childish, he is never stupid. He makes mistakes, is a little goofy, but he never does anything outright cringe worthy.

A prime example of a good interpretation is the JLU episode Clash. The whole JL really likes him. For some reason my tumblr is acting up today so I can’t put any videos without it not allowing me to type afterwords. But the series is on Netflix. Like holy heck, Bruce says they all like him because he’s sunny. Bruce!

There’s also comic examples, like Action comics #768, which is in the POV of Superman. I’m just gonna put everything Clark thinks as text.

“And then it happens.”

“Armed with the wisdom of Solomon, the patience of Atlas, and the focus of Achilles, a teenage boy in the body of a man defends human kind to a frog goddess.”

“I can’t imagine anything more ludicrous. I can’t imagine anything more moving.”

“With unmatched eloquence, he explains humanity’s needs, our weaknesses, and our relationships with nature to a being as old as time.”

“She retorts. It’s not the act itself that enrages her, but the fact that her people are taken for granted.”

“Bred, butchered, wasted. Without appreciation for the contribution to the lifecycle.”

“He emphasizes. It is a horrible thing to be underestimated, unappreciated, forgotten.”

“His sincerity is a living thing. They speak for an eternity until Heqt has been heard and appeased.”

“Then, the war is over. Diplomacy and reason succeeds, where force…where I… simply would have failed.”

This is another example:

I mean the whole Captain Marvel-focused panel is Clark and Bruce arguing with Diana that Cap will be a great asset to the League, and how Bruce wants him on because he’s just GOOD. They all knew he was a kid, and they didn’t care because they trusted him that much!

Many 80s and 90s comic showed Cap as this beacon of hope, very akin to his Fawcett era, which is why so many of us liked it. He was still goofy at times, but it never overshadowed how much of a hero he was. Hell, the Fawcett heroes never gave a damn about him being a kid. All they saw was a person doing good, and they automatically began working with him.

He would get into friendly tussles with Superman, and him and Diana hugged one time, and she confided in him about how she might die. I can’t find the issue, but it’s drawn by Alex Ross, so that may narrow it for you.

Cap was genuinely respected. There are even some comics where Billy’s is interacting with the League as himself and they treat him like any other friend!

And Billy was chosen not because he was a last resort, but because the Wizard saw so much good and purity in him. He still made mistakes, but he was never not worthy.

Compare that with, not just the Shazam movies, but the DCAMU movies(JL War & Throne of Atlantis), and you get a whole other monster. I mean, he is just dumb, awful. He’s good when he’s Billy, a little snarky while also being a good person and comforting Cyborg(before taking his jersey, lol). But when he’s Shazam(his name in the DCAMU) every single thing that came out of his mouth was just… not it. If gets even worse in Throne of Atlantis. Literally almost everyone on the team hates him. The only reason Cyborg doesn’t is because he knows his identity.

In the 2019 Shazam movies, hes very similar. They made him a lot more jaded, which just ruined his character for me because Billy is the type of person who would rather die than talk down to other kids going through what he did. I’m cool with the rebelliousness, it’s just that that I’m worried about. It’s even worse in the 2013 shazam comic series because he’s actually way meaner there. Like jeez, why do you want me to hate this boy so much DC??

And as his Shazam self, he’s like ten times more goofy and irresponsible, which is such a backwards take it’s insane.

The character of Captain Marvel was beloved by so many children because it showed that they could be just like those other heroes. They could fight the monsters and get the job done, and no one would look down on them. They would be taken seriously. Seeing this kid bond with and interact with and be trusted by these seasoned adult heroes was EVERYTHING.

I may not have a grown up in the 40s/50s, but I did get introduced to him in JLU, and then Young Justice, and then obscure media, and then comics. And through that journey, the take I loved infinitely more was of Captain Marvel being this guy who made mistakes, but always tried to do the right thing.

Making him out to be this…immature dude who never knew what he was doing just stomped on all of us. It also really irks me because that is how some people will be introduced to him. As opposed to who he really is. And they won’t be interested because the face value is all they’ll see.

Heck, some people think he’s one of the weakest DC characters when he ranks in the top ten. He’s the Champion of Magic and guardian of the Rock of Eternity for Pete’s sake! He’s fought and almost won against the Specter himself! (Day of Vengeance comic series, it’s so good!)

It’s unclear why his character has been so diminished. Some people, including me, think DC is trying to lower his…everything in general so he can never measure up to the Man of Steel, which is so petty it’s ridiculous.

Hopefully he’ll get something in James Gunn’s new DCU, a movie or a show. Because I feel like there’s a chance to reintroduce the true Captain/Shazam to people.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my petty-fueled rant😅. Sorry for the angry spews. Anyway, there are some good reading lists for Shazam/Cap on tumblr. I really advise you to check those out. Though there are also a few articles on google listing all of his appearances, so if you wanna get detailed then those are where you should go.

We also have a Captain Marvel fan club! Go over to @im-not-buying-it-ether and ask for an invite for more content.

I hope you have a fulfilling journey!

[fgumi]

nana's speech: as you must know (and if you don't, i'm here to remind you), i love you guys a whole lot. i thought i'd show you guys that i see your comments and reblogs even if i don't always interact with them. i deliberated a lot because some people may take this the wrong way, but this is only an opportunity to tell you guys: i see you, i love you, and i appreciate you. this is not a competition. this is not encouragement to spam my works. this should 100% be regarded as my genuine love and thanks.

today's very very lovely readers are...

this week will be highlighting readers from the beginning of my journey as a writer. i'd be remiss if i didn't mention the people that helped me believe i was a decent writer.

@en-dream 𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ one of my very first interactive readers that supported all my works. you were a very big catalyst for me to write more. thank you.

@heeheesang @jiiyen 𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ you guys make me so excited to post. your comments bring me a lot of joy because i can tell you're into it.

@httpenhoon @vveebee 𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ my reblog warriors... thank you for sharing my work on your own page. you guys are also incredibly quick to read my stuff and show it love.

@petralovesbonedo 𓂃 𓈒𓏸 you are so so sweet for messaging me about myif and then sharing a piece of your life with me. your reactions are also funny. never change.

@imjinvolved 𓂃 𓈒𓏸 i hope it's no surprise that you're on here. i was very anxious about switching my writing style and you squashed that so fast. thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me and helping me start 2025 on a good note.

@hoonieyun 𓂃 𓈒𓏸 okay, this is less of a reader appreciation (even though you do read my stuff and shower it with so much love) and more of a public declaration of love. my kiki, you have been the biggest blessing this damn site has given me.

@hollyoongs 𓂃 𓈒𓏸 same with this one, just a moment for me to share my pretty pretty girl love. your memes are so funny and you're so supportive. never never change.

if i didn't mention you, it wasn't anything other than this post would be far too long. everyone on my perm taglist, i'm kissing you through my screen. you guys made the conscious decision to be notified of all my works and that's huge. thank you for loving me and i hope you understand how much i love you.

again, thank you to all my readers. let's have the best year and years together. i love you all so much.

[incorrectcats]

Nobody asked for it, but since I'm one of the many people who was affected by this situation (and I very much need to talk about it because I'm still sad), I wanted to give my five cents about the Madrid ritual getting cancelled with just 4 days' notice.

I want to first start saying that I don't blame the band for what happened, even though I felt very disappointed. Spain has gotten its share of rituals in the past, it's just that I had never been able to attend a previous one. On top of this, the Spanish concert industry is rotten quite to its very core. These last years have been absolute chaos when it comes to anything related to live music (ticket prices, venues, management, resales...). So, no, I don't trust them to fucking do their jobs and guarantee that the concerts will actually take place as planned. Furthermore, I've been to concerts in the same venue where the ritual was supposed to take place and my experience has been far from pleasant (the heat was unbearable, people in the pit was fainting and the freaking band had to ask management to give us water bottles so we wouldn't have a heatstroke).

This being said, was I heartbroken by the cancellation announcement? Fuck, yes. Did I feel some sort of resentment towards the band when I first saw the post? I'd be lying if I said no, even though it didn't cross my mind to leave some sort of heated comment (like the band's ig was Tobias' personal mailbox...... lol). So, of course I don't condone the behaviour of a part of the fandom that only blamed the band for what happened, but I do understand the anger and the frustration. Most of us are working people and we put our money and vacation days to be able to attend the concert. Again, I don't think the band is to blame and I want to believe that they really tried to find every solution possible, even adapting the show (and a show of such magnitude can't be adapted overnight, I'm sure), but I still felt somehow abandoned and, as I've said, heartbroken. And to see people both on ig and tw getting all holier-than-thou telling us basically to shut up about it... guys, we can criticise and be angry at someone or something and still be respectful and admire it. I promise.

Anyways, I needed to vent a little bit, because I've been waiting for years to attend a ritual and getting cancelled when it was within arms reach...... it hurt. But, nevertheless, I still love Ghost and I'm very excited about the new album (can't wait to yap about it). I hope everyone attending the Skeletour gets to have the time of their lives and, if there's any fellow Spanish ghestie reading this (is there any on tumblr?), be patient! I'm sure we'll get our ritual and it'll be the best fucking concert ever 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[teoft]

It's like Tumblr has become almost a diary for me, thanks to no character limit and a read more button. This atmosphere of acceptance and understanding helps a lot too.

I'll get back to posting actual art, juggling with Twitter and Bluesky along with commissions is taking up a lot of my time.

Anyway, thoughts about art community and being social

For the longest time I've had this feeling of being an outsider in this vague community of artists that see as colleagues of sorts. Like I meet all the "criteria" of being in the group, and yet don't really feel like I'm part of it. Well, it seems I am right in some way, and the reason is that they interact with each other, while I sit here drawing alone.

Unfortunately I've always been prone to isolate myself from others. I grew up feeling like I should be ashamed of loving to draw, since it was always fanart monsters, creatures and cool guys instead of "proper art" like animals and portraits. Before social media, I only drew for myself and never showed anything to anybody. I hid my art from my family, from the world, so that I wouldn't be judged. I think it is one of the biggest reasons why I have trouble interacting with people in the context of art (tbh I'm shit at being social anyway but that's a whole another problem).

Even when I had a scanner and means to post my art online, I never did, due to the whole "if you put something online it'll be there forever" mindset. My first actual account anywhere online must've been Facebook in 2010ish, where I only had a few friends. It was the perfect place for me to finally post anything online, and so I did: I used to post pretty much everything I drew on there. Slowly gaining courage, I eventually made my original Tumblr account, then Deviantart, Twitter, etc.

Still, all I did was throw my art out there in hopes of somebody liking it. I didn't really know how to interact with the people who commented on my posts, so instead I mostly just... made more art. I did have some friend groups here and there, but either they ended up falling apart or my social battery drained in such a way that I slowly drifted away. I had gotten used to just being by myself and relying only on myself in the online art world.

During my design studies, I started putting more thought and work on promoting myself, so that it could be one career path for me to take. My mindset was that I'll work hard and become "big", even if it meant that one post gained me just one follower. In 2020 I ended up going viral with a meme and suddenly getting tens of thousands of followers. It was great and a welcome boost of morale, but unfortunately 2020 was otherwise one of the worst years in my life.

Throughout the years people have come and gone, so the only constant for me has been myself, and my drive to develop my skills. Thus it's been too easy for me to just isolate myself. In a way it has been my strength with regards to art, but sometimes I wish I knew how to make lasting connections. I think/know I might be autistic to some degree, which adds to the difficulty of being social. Though, to be honest, I don't know if I'd gotten this far without my autistic hyperfixations.

I guess the thing I need to do now to fix this problem of loneliness and isolation is to just... slowly try and be more social. To reply to comments and talk to people. All of which is easier said than done. Still, just gotta take that first step and then keep going.

Despite lacking the kind of community I yearn for, it seems I've made a name for myself, enough so that people seem to take pride in knowing me. Or at least that's the impression I've gotten a few times. But still, I am happy that I've had a positive effect on people. After all, my two main motivators in art are that I like doing it, and I like when people enjoy my art.

[channieskies]

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖁𝕴𝕴: 𝕬𝖈𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖞

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader, Jeong(Jung) Jaehyun x Reader (Fem/AFAB/Curvy/Plus sized)

Genre: Smut (eventual), Angst, Supernatural Romance, Urban Fantasy

AU: Supernatural AU, Vampire Au, Werewolf AU, Witch AU

Word count: 7966 [Reading time: 32 Minutes]

Networks: @neverendingdreams-net & @mirohs-aurora-society

Synopsis: Christopher and his pack head out to handle the ones responsible for everything that happened with Jeongin and Seungmin. Jaehyun shows you a bit more of his past.

He couldn’t hear or see anything. His mind fogged over by blind rage. His body was growing tired though, he didn’t know why. He could feel this warm stickiness coating his hands and face, but didn’t have the slightest clue as to what it was. He didn’t have any clarity until he felt the arms of his brothers around him. The sound of their cries filled his ears, pulling him out of his disorientation. The color started to come back to the room, it was then that he was able to see what he had done.

CHAPTER INDEX

A.N: Please reblog and leave a comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. Special thanks to @palindrome969 for beta reading this for me. I could never thank you enough. Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Disclaimer: This story does not reflect the real lives or personalities of Stray Kids or NCT. I do not know them personally. This is purely a work of fiction.

Warnings: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost here or on other sites. This chapter contains use of explicit language.

All piled into Chris’s truck, the boys ventured into the bayou in search of Vaiden’s hideout. The trees were tall and thick with hanging moss, the roads were almost nonexistent in this part, too far to the left or right and his truck would be in the swampy water. There was an eerie fog that draped the surroundings, choking the  base of the trees. His headlight barely cut through the dense vapor. He understood why Vaiden picked this location, it was easy to keep unwanted people out. But, if he could infringe on Chris’s turf and fuck with his people, then the same could be done contrariwise. The atmosphere both in and out of the truck was tense. No one had said a thing since they left the house. Chris chewed on his lip, he wanted to call you, to ask you to be on standby for them. But what could he say to you right now? He was sure you hated his guts at the current moment. Even if you had a duty to perform, you would probably keep it at that and ignore his existence while doing so. He desperately needed to get you out of his mind. He had a task at hand, one that was life or death. One that might put his pack in jeopardy. He couldn’t risk that, no matter how much he regretted upsetting you.

“Hyung, kill the lights.” Minho spoke, bringing him out of his thoughts. He quickly killed the lights, pulling up on the cabin on the water. He parked his dark truck near a bunch of foliage, hoping it would mostly blend in.

“If it gets overwhelming, I want you to run to safety.”

“Hyung what the hell are you even saying?” Changbin griped.

“I just don’t want anything to happen to you guys.” His words were met with groans from his pack. He sighed. “Fine. This is our fight, and we fight to win. Stay in pairs and don’t let them separate you no matter what. What they have in numbers we have in strength and skill. Let’s go get them.” He managed to get it together, putting spirit into his pep talk. He could hear his heart beating fast in his ears, he was nervous. But the feeling wasn’t for him, it was for his brothers. Things started to move quickly as they snuck up onto the porch, some going around the side, while he, Changbin, Felix, and Hyunjin went in from the front. Chris kicked the door down and everything picked up from there. Fists were flying towards him at a fast pace, but he was quicker, much quicker. He had one objective, to find Vaiden and end his tyranny. 

He was amazed he could still think straight with the anger that was fueling his actions at the current moment. Room to room, he was going in looking for one person and that person only. He didn’t attack anyone who didn’t charge for him or his pack first. When Felix got pinned under a guy twice his size, Chris was there to pull him off, clocking the man in his jaw and knocking him out. “Hyung, take Bin-hyung and go, we can handle this.”Hyunjin yelled as he ran over to help Felix up. Chris looked at Felix for confirmation, Felix gave him a small nod before blocking a punch from a guy that came running in. This place wasn’t that big, Vaiden had to be somewhere around here. Chris grabbed Bin and then moved on. They passed a kitchen, dining hall, and a recreation area, but there was no sign of Vaiden anywhere. They got to the back stairs and as soon as they looked to the top of them, there he stood in all of his six foot glory.  Chris clenched his jaw, ready for whatever came next. 

“Well would you look at that. I guess my message wasn’t that well received.” Vaiden spoke with a gravelly tone, voice deep like it came from deep within his chest. “Maybe I should have killed one of them instead.” He cackled maniacally, tilted back. Chris’s blood began to boil at his antagonizing words. “Wonder what your face would look like then.” He almost didn’t get all the words out before Chris was up the stairs. 

“It’s a trap! Hyung!” Changbin called after him, but his words fell on deaf ears. All Chris saw was his enemy drenched in red. As soon as his foot landed on the last step, Vaidens leg was up, aiming center mass on Chris. With all his might, he kicked the boy, sending him flying back down the stairs. Changbin braced himself to catch his leader, taking most of the damage as they tumbled down the steps to the bottom. Both men groaned, hurt from the impact. “You can’t take him on by yourself.” Changbin pushed Chris off of him, but still reached his hand out to help the older male up. “Together.” Chris nodded, agreeing to the idea. They both bolted up the stairs, “High!” Changbin communicated with his leader telepathically. Chris went high and Changbin low, successfully tackling the tall, bulky man to the ground. A brawl ensued. Vaiden’s men came out of the woodworks, all of them trying to get in on the action. It was six on two, but Chris and Changbin were holding their own. 

“Can’t handle a bit of friendly competition huh, Chris? Just like you couldn’t handle me getting with your little human whore before you could huh? What was her name again?” His busted lip curled into a sick smile. “Ahh right. Y/n. Such a sweet name for such a sweet fucking cunt. I wonder if she could have taken all the dick I was going to give her like the good little slut she is.” He cackled, throwing wild punches in Chris’ direction. “I heard her sweet little cunt likes to be breed. I wonder if she can handle my pups.” He smirked. He knew he was getting under Chris’s skin by bringing you up. Chris saw red, every bit of his anger consumed him. With the loudest growl he’d ever done, he pounced. Scratching, clawing, pummeling, kicking, he turned Vaiden every which way but loose. He was so engrossed in ending Vaiden’s speech that he didn’t notice the rest of the guys coming up the stairs. He didn’t notice them yelling for him to stop, that Vaiden had had enough. He didn’t even budge when his strongest pack mates tried to pull him off of the man that was pinned under him. He just wanted the man to shut up for once and for all. He had hurt too many people close to him and he was honestly just tired of it all. Tired of the fights. Tired of having a target on his back. What was it all for? Territory? To be the alpha-ist alpha of them all? Bullshit. He didn’t want that. All Chris wanted was for his family, both chosen and biological, to be happy, healthy, and most of all, safe. 

He couldn’t hear or see anything. His mind fogged over by blind rage. His body was growing tired though, he didn’t know why. He could feel this warm stickiness coating his hands and face, but didn’t have the slightest clue as to what it was. He didn’t have any clarity until he felt the arms of his brothers around him. The sound of their cries filled his ears, pulling him out of his disorientation. The color started to come back to the room, it was then that he was able to see what he had done. Vaiden was laying in the middle of the floor, bruised, bloodied, and battered. Coughing and sputtering blood. He was unrecognizable. “Oh… no… what have I done?” Chris started to freak out, moving his hands to his face only to realize they were covered in the blood of his enemy. He wanted to scream, to cry out. But no sound would come out. What had he become? Minho grabbed him by his shoulders. 

“You are a leader, we need you to lead us. What do we do? What do you want us to do?” Chris blinked at him, gathering all of his strength to not break down right then and there. “Hyung! We need you to tell us what you need!” He shook him hard, successfully snapping the alpha right back into his senses.

“Gather the severely injured. We have to get them some help.”

His intentions were pure. He just wanted you to see what he saw when he first laid eyes on you. How you were the exact replica of the woman he loved so dearly. The woman who had his heart, even after her death, even after they parted ways. She was his everything, in both this life and his last. He was there when she took her last breaths, a doctor then just like he is now, lending his expertise, because it seemed that no amount of money could find her comfort or a cure. He was there when she said goodbye to her husband and daughter. There when she spared him one last look as the light drained from her eyes. It was right then and there that he swore that’d be the last time he would let his heart be broken. He didn’t care how many times the love of his life was reincarnated, he couldn’t deal with watching her fade away again. But here you were, standing in the ballroom of one of his homes, the one he shared with her. Where he spent his time loving and cherishing her. Standing in the exact spot they used to dance by the fire every date night. The very spot they had made love countless times. It was right here by this fireplace that she said her goodbyes to him. Saying that the two of them could never be. Right here in this spot is where she handed him his dead heart back after draining it of its last shred of humanity.

“What the actual fuck?” Your jaw dropped, and he was sure if it hadn’t hinged to your skull it would have fallen off. “Why- Why the fuck does she look like me?” He could hear your heartbeat quickening, your thoughts running a mile a minute. Grateful that he was able to hear them at this moment, because you were otherwise rendered speechless. 

“Reincarnation, is my guess.” He shrugged, hands deep in his pockets as he looked up at the photo as well. “Before she was reincarnated in spirit, but not likeness. Now, it’s likeness and not spirit, I guess you can say. You look like her, but you don’t act like either of them. Which- don’t take this the wrong way- makes things a little spicier? For lack of a better word.” He nodded. “You are sarcastic and cynical, even if most of it takes place in your mind. It just shows that you are a product of the times. But you are also a lot like your mother, even if you don’t realize it. Kind and compassionate. Who walks around the childrens ward of a hospital with a stranger's cat on a leash, just because her mother told her to?” You rolled your eyes, did he need to remind you of the first time you met? You were still trying to burn that memory from your brain.

“Someone who didn’t want to face the wrath of that woman, you do know she's a witch, right?” You pointed out in jest, “I mean all of that is well and good, but I’m really starting to judge your taste in women. Two had the same personality and two had the same face.” You quirked a brow, “Can’t tell me that isn’t a little weird. Reincarnation or not. If it didn’t work the first two times, you’d think you’d try something different, no?”

He chuckled, taking a few steps towards you, “I have a taste for the.. Finer things in life. Every part of her was the finést I’d ever had. Face to taste.” His words sunk into you as he passed by you, his arm brushing against yours ever so slightly. The contact sending your mind into one of those God forsaken flashbacks. 

It was in this very room. The fireplace had a roaring fire going, illuminating only part of the room. There was a storm brewing outside of the large picturesque windows, little flashes of lighting striking every once in a while. Unlike the burning flame, there was something that filled the room, constant moans. They bounced off the walls, leaving haunting echoes behind. A chair from the corner had been pulled hearthside for warmth. Her legs were spread wide and thrown over each armrest, her fingers in the tousled hair of the man between her legs. He stared up at her with passion in his eyes, dragging his fangs over the inside of her thigh, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps. “I need to taste you, my love.” She tried to move his face closer to her heat, but he didn’t budge. He was in control, even if she didn't want him to be. She let out a whine, poking out her bottom lip, begging without using a word. “Patience, beautiful. It’s a virtue, remember?”

He used his fingers to spread her lower lips, taking a tentative lick before diving in head first. The sensation had her throwing her head back in ecstasy. His tongue worked her in wonderful ways as his eyes stayed locked on hers. Swirls and flicks, countered by him fully wrapping his lips around her bud sucking on it gently. Long fingers teased her entrance before dipping in, just to be pulled out to tease again. He was playing with his food and she wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t enjoy it. “Please my beloved…” He smirked against her, settling on having teased her enough. He sunk his index and middle finger into her wetness, not meeting much resistance. He loved when she was this wet, it always delighted his senses. The sound, the smell, the feeling of it, all just drove him wild. Her eyes rolled back as his long fingers brushed against the spongy part inside of her. He knew her body better than she knew it herself. Her walls clenched around his fingers, making him groan. He couldn’t wait to fill her up like he knew she wanted. He needed her to squeeze him like she was doing his fingers right now. Needed to feel her warmth and wetness tightly wrapped around him. He needed her…

“Oh fuck off!” You pulled away from him having seen enough. He smirked, knowing exactly what x-rated scenes just played in your mind. “There is something wrong with you, you know that?” He shrugged, his smile still lingering on his lips. You crossed your arms over your chest defensively, just to let them drop to your side seconds later.

“Love how you’ve said everything but ‘I hated that.’ It's very telling.” You scoffed as he laughed, “Just admit it, you enjoyed it. You got your own little pornographic point of view of how I enjoy my meals, deliciously.” He reached out, gently grabbing your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of yours. “Remember I can hear your thoughts, Y/n.” You could feel the warmth creep to your face as he spoke. You were once again trapped in his bubble, far too close to this man for it to be considered friendly. His free hand reached up and caressed your jaw then moved to your cheek. “You are beautiful, did you know that?” You honestly couldn’t tell what type of spell this man had cast on you, but it was almost like you needed to be this close to him.

Your body was doing whatever the hell he commanded it to do, letting him invade your personal space. But good thing you still had control of your mind. “You dare say that in front of the portrait of the woman you loved? It's kind of convenient isn’t it? Saying I’m beautiful when I look an awful lot like her.” He smiled, thumb halting its movement.

His thumb moved from your cheek to trace over your lips, the simple action sending shivers through your body. “Maybe I just have a type.” He tugged your bottom lip down with his thumb, making you gasp. “Nothing wrong with that, right?” It felt like your heart was beating in your throat. What was this alluring aura he seemed to produce? What was with him always pulling you in without even trying? Was it his Jedi like vampire mind tricks? He laughed, “Ever consider that maybe you just want to be close to me? I don’t use my powers on unsuspecting people, darling, it’s impolite. I am a gentleman afterall.” Was that what it was? Did you just have this constant need to be close to this man? He was attractive, yes. But he most definitely wasn’t your normal type. You usually wouldn't consider anyone this pretty. The last time you did the guy slept with your highschool bestfriend in the bathroom during fourth period. But if you thought about it, taking away the fact that he was pretty, being ain’t shit was usually the common denominator between all of your exes. Maybe it was time for a change. You could try something different for once.

“Ah, so you like fuck boys.” He chuckled, there just seemed to be a constant smile on his face whenever you were around. “Baby,” He cooed, “You deserve better.” The way he uttered the word baby nearly made your knees weak. His thumb was still stroking your bottom lip, like he was prepping it for an open mouth kiss or to sink his thumb right in your mouth. Either option made you a little moist. Especially after that glimpse into his.. Mating rituals. 

“Are you saying I deserve someone like you?” The words came out as a whisper, like you didn’t want to get your hopes up. You looked back at the portrait, tearing your eyes away from him briefly. They looked so in love in that portrait. Even though it looked like it was from forever ago, the artist seemed to capture the pure unadulterated affection in their eyes. You looked back at him, his eyes looking at you keenly. He grabbed your other hand, both now interlocked with his own.

“No. Even better than me, or that stupid hair-brained pup that made you cry. You deserve to be loved wholly and unconditionally. Because even if I’ve only known you a few days, I can tell that you put your heart into love and you often don’t receive it back. How is that fair? Is the world so unjust that it just tosses a beautiful woman like you around with no regard? It can’t be. You deserve the best and if not that, then someone who will strive to be the best for you. You deserve a tender kind of love that warms you from the inside out. One that you never have to question, because the answer is always there. You are constantly being reminded that you are the love of their life and nothing will change that.” Emotions swelled in your throat. No one had ever told you that you deserved to be loved, especially not like that. You’d been told that you shouldn’t just take anything a man gives you, because you deserved better than that. But never that you deserved to be loved wholly and unconditionally.

“So, don’t settle for less, just because you don’t think you deserve better. You do. You deserve the world.” He lifted one of your hands and kissed the back of it. “Don’t settle for someone who will make you cry either, you do not deserve that.” He pressed another kiss in the same spot.

“Thank you.” You didn’t fully believe it yourself. But it did make you feel good to hear it. Maybe you would one day find that person that loved you like that, but you weren’t going to hold out hope.

“Now, how long has it been since you’ve eaten anything? I feel like I’m constantly asking you this question.” You pulled your hands away from his and touched your stomach. It had been more than a couple hours since you had any sustenance. You were probably way overdue for a meal.

“There is this late night burger place that I heard has some good food. Let me take you there.” A greasy burger sounded delightful, especially this late at night. You agreed with no hesitation, nodding your head. He chuckled at your enthusiasm, and nodded towards the hallway for you to follow him.

When he said burgers, you didn’t think he meant the most famous burgers in town. You hadn’t been in town long enough to know that they had extended hours now. It was a completely different demographic hanging around the last time you were here. Drunk from the club, needed some fatty grease to soak up some of that alcohol. That partially sounded like something you’d be down for, minus the while ‘out at the club’ part of it. Jaehyun had been telling you stories of his life here in New Orleans since you’d left his house- well- his other house. “I’ve learned not to rely on humans for sustenance, people are fickle. I’ve been living this way since the 70’s. I have a deal with a farmer, one where I pay him handsomely for discretion and for the parts I need.” You were grossed out by his confession, he needed to eat just like you did. You couldn’t blame him for how he did it, just as long as it wasn’t forcibly taken from humans.

You swallowed the thick bite of your double burger with cheese before speaking, “Okay, so I’m curious… are there any underground clubs where people offer themselves to be.. Feed off?” You whispered as best you could. It wasn’t like anyone was really paying attention to the both of you.

He chuckled, “Yeah, there are places like that. Some people are more than willing, but I’ve seen that go awry too many times for me to participate. When I lived in eastern Europe, I frequented a place like that.” He sighed, leaning in across the red grate table, he didn’t want anyone accidentally overhearing him. “I watched this vampire drain this young kid dry and I haven’t been back to a place like that. They aren’t regulated, so anything can happen in a place like that. Even if the person knows what can possibly happen to them, it doesn't mean that it should happen.” You almost felt bad for eating in front of a man who probably hadn’t had a decent meal in ages. Almost.

“So the last time you.. You know… was in the 70’s?” He nodded and took a fry off your plate, pretending to eat it. Your guess was that it was a show for anyone watching and wondering why you were stuffing your face and he was just sitting there looking. You hummed, wiping your face after taking your last bite. “Okay, I have another question.”

“Shoot.” He nodded for you to continue.

“How do you do that warm hand thing?” Everytime he touched you, his hand felt warm. He had been dead for over four hundred years, he shouldn’t have felt warm at all. 

“Ah- it’s a trick I learned from another doctor.” He extended his hand for you to take, you looked at it funny before taking his hand. “Feel how cold it is now?” You nodded. His hand felt like the meat you’d leave in the freezer that your mom told you to take out after school. Frozen. “And now…” You felt his hand rapidly warm up to a normal feeling of incalescence. The difference in temperature was alarming to you because of you feeling the difference, anyone else would assume he was just a normal guy. “I wouldn’t want to deal with kids and ice cold hands, I’m sure that would make an unpleasant situation even worse for them.” That was actually commendable. He did it to make the kids comfortable.

“That's actually really sweet.” You smiled at him, noticing how he’d been staring at you. You cleared your throat. “So what made you go into pediatric medicine?” He heaved a heavy sigh, finally looking away from you and out towards the waxing moon.

“It’s hard to watch people you love struggle with losing a child.” He swallowed hard, “Even if the child isn’t yours, to see the joy they had snuffed out of them because of that loss? It’s heartbreaking for anyone. So, I went into pediatric medicine to help save lives, at least to the best of my ability. I wanted to prevent these parents from losing their joy.”

“So, I take it you witnessed someone you loved lose their child?” He sighed and nodded.

“The woman in the portrait. She had a son first.” He looked down at his fingers, tearing his eye away from you, “He lived to the age of six and that nearly broke her.” He cleared his throat after it broke at the end of his sentence. “Let's talk about you, huh?” He forced a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Whats with you and this fuck boy obsession you have?” You scoffed.

You would hardly call it an obsession. “Obsession?” You huffed, “Why are you even asking me that?” His lips curled into a genuine smile, his deep dimples on full display.

“Because I’m trying to see how I should approach you. Should I come to you as the good doctor, or pull on my four hundred years of fuck boy knowledge.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Who says I’m even single? Or that I would consider you at all?” His smile morphed into a smirk.

He leaned forward like he was interested in the conversation being had. He rested his chin on his folded hands, elbows propped up on the grated tabletop.“You love to forget I can read your mind, don’t you? I know what you think of me. Plus, if you were that upset that that mutt didn’t finish what he started, you have to be single. Your dreams of what you want done to you after the fact ... I'd hope you wouldn’t think such naughty thoughts when you have a man waiting for you in the sleepy little town you stayed in.” He raised a brow. “There is no way you are a cheater, not when you’ve been cheated on. So, what's the truth, beautiful? Just admit you are into me too, then we can move forward.” He reached for your hand, grabbing it gently. You were so busy trying to empty your head of any thoughts that you just let him do it. You knew you couldn’t let him hear the lewd thoughts that were starting to cloud your mind. Especially after seeing that flashback of how he indulged himself in his lover.

“See, you’re thinking about me right now.” He pushed his fingers through his thick dark hair. “And it’s not anything decent, either. Tsk tsk tsk. Naughty girl-”He paused, noticing how your body tensed and eyes widened. He followed your eyes and they landed on the mutt you called your friend. He let out an exasperated sigh. Of course he found out where you were, he had been scenting you after all. “We can leave if you don’t want to talk to him.” He spoke softly, knowing that if the mutt wanted to hear he could still hear.

“Something is… wrong.” You frowned. You gave Jaehyun an apologetic smile, “I have to see what’s up.” You gathered your things, “Thanks so much for tonight. You know, this is the second time you’ve come to my rescue?” You tossed your trash in a nearby bin. “Thanks again, Jaehyun.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll see you around, okay?” 

He shook his head. A billion thoughts were swirling in his head. He really was beginning to hate this guy. “I’ll walk you over there.” The look on your face shifted into panic. “It will be fine. I promise to be nice, it’s him you have to worry about.” He stood, his hand immediately moving to the small of your back, ushering you forward. Thankfully it was late and there weren't too many cars to worry about as you crossed the street. He could hear your thoughts of worry and honestly it was a little overwhelming. He rubbed soothing  circles into your back, helping to sooth the worry just a bit.

Chris stood across the street like a brick wall, anger written all over his face. You could tell he was ticked off, just how he was clicking his jaw. “Where is your phone?” He spoke as you got closer to him. It was harsh but low, like he was fed up.

“It broke the other night. I-I haven’t gotten a new one yet.” Jaehyung rolled his eyes, hearing how you stuttered. You didn’t owe him or anyone else an apology. If you wanted to go out, you could do so and with whomever you pleased.

“We need you back at the house.” He finally acknowledged Jaehyun’s presence. “Only you.” He eyed him up and down, eyed dripping with contempt. You looked up at Jaehyun and gave him a smile and a nod, letting him know that you were fine. But that didn’t mean he wanted to let you go. Your night was just getting started when your mutt decided to ruin it. 

“I’ll get a new phone tomorrow and get your number from my mom, okay?” Jaehyun ripped his eyes from your wolf friend to let them settle on you. You were stunning under the moonlight, he’d been with you all night, how was he just noticing this? His eyes softened.

“Be safe.” He leaned in and kissed your cheek this time, letting his lips linger there for longer than Chris liked.

“We need to go, Y/n.” Chris spoke, that stern tone returning. You sighed and nodded, following him to his truck. You turned and waved to Jaehyun one more time as you got into the passenger side.

Anger was radiating through him. So the reason you weren’t at the house was because you were out with that blood sucker? As soon as he got close enough to your location, he could hear the way that man was lying it on thick. It made his stomach turn. It was obvious to him what his motives were, Chris knew that type of man. He was the type you always fell for. The type to get you in bed and entertain your thoughts of a relationship for a while, just to inevitably break your heart. He was not going to sit around and watch a fucking vamp ruin the woman he loved. 

“Y/n…” The car had been silent since he had pulled out of the parking lot of the burger joint. Usually when the two of you partook in a late night drive, when you weren’t chatting about any and everything, you were steeped in a comfortable silence. This late night drive was everything but that. He could cut the tension with a butterknife. You didn’t even bother looking his way when he called your name, you kept your eyes on the passing scenery outside of the window. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. H-he’s the type that will hurt you…” He trailed off, hoping you wouldn’t take his words the wrong way.

“Christopher, I sincerely hope you aren’t trying to tell me to stay away from him.” You finally looked his way, and honestly he wished you hadn’t. You’d never looked at him like that before. Like he was the enemy. “Because if you are, just know, I won’t. It's my choice as to whom I spend my time with. Just because you don’t like him, doesn’t mean I share the same feelings.” It was like you took a razor to his heart. Chris didn’t want you around Jaehyun, but that was to protect you, not to hurt some insignificant fanged freak. He couldn’t care less about that blood sucker and his feelings. You were the only one in this situation that he cared for. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Chris.”

He sighed. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get through to you, not while you were mad at him. If he hadn't upset you earlier, you probably wouldn’t have gone on a date with one of his enemies. No, you would have been at the house, waiting for his return. This was his fault and he took the blame for it. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, Y/n. I’m warning you.” His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “You do this all the time. You just go from one bad man to the next, not thinking of yourself as you do it. And every time you end up with your heart broken. I just… I just want you to be happy for once.” Happy with me, in my arms. He finished the rest in his head. There was this feeling deep inside his mind that if he told you how he felt in this moment, you wouldn’t believe him. That you would think that he was just saying that to deter you from dating another guy he didn’t like. While both things could be true at the same time, the primary reason would have been because he was deeply and madly in love with you. He’d always been.

“You just want me happy for once?” You laughed but it was completely devoid of any humor. “You don’t get to choose what will and won’t make me happy. You have no say in the matter. You haven’t even talked to the man, you are just angry at what ‘his kind’ has done. Maybe you should be concerned about what you’ve done. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the blood under your nails or the bits of it splattered over your skin. Should I even ask why you were looking for me this late at night?” You had crossed your arms over your chest. He chewed on his lip, trying to stay focused on driving. It was taking everything in him not to pull his truck over and pull you into a hug. He didn’t like to argue with you, nor did he want to at this moment. But he felt strongly about you setting yourself up again for another heartbreak.

“We.. found the guys who hurt Jeongin and Seungmin.” He swallowed so hard the sound settled in your ears in the passenger seat. “It was Vaiden.” He kept it short and sweet, waiting for your reaction.

“How the fuck is Vaiden back in the picture? He’s the one who attacked our boys?” He could see your fist ball up, you disliked Vaiden almost as much as Chris did. He didn’t acknowledge it, but it wasn’t missed by him how you referred to the kids. He loved that you loved them almost as fiercely as he did, despite only knowing them for a week. But he guessed that trauma bonding might be the quickest way to bond, you definitely received just as much trauma as the rest of them that night. “That fucking ass hat. I hope he got what he deserved, that cunt. He nearly killed Jeongin and I will never forgive him for that.” He pulled up in front of your moms house, but didn’t make a move to get out. 

He pulled the keys out of the ignition, fiddling with the little koala keychain on it that you’d given him years ago. “Y/n, you know I love you, right?” You were in the middle of taking your seatbelt off when he addressed you. You nodded, “No, I don’t think you understand.” He sighed. “My love for you knows no bounds. I love you more than anything on this earth. But I feel like you are the sun and I’m the moon. We share the same sky sometimes, but we rarely cross paths. It always seems like you are in one spot in your life while I'm in another. Like I’m always chasing the warmth of the sun, just to be alone in the cold of night.” He didn’t dare look up, he couldn’t look at you right now. Because if you showed no emotion to his words, that might kill him. “I’m in love with you. I-I have been since that day I saw you in the quad.” He smiled to himself. He could tell you everything about the way you looked, to the way you smelled, and even the words you’d said to him in the afternoon. He was completely taken by you from the moment he saw your face.

“Why now?” You asked just above a whisper. He looked up from his lap to you. There was sadness in your eyes, an unspeakable amount.

“It’s that I just-” He was cut off by a tap on his window. Minho nodded towards the house when Chris looked up.

“I need to help the people in need.” You didn’t spare him another look as you hopped out and followed Minho into the house. Chris continued to sit in the car, going over all he’d done wrong in the last twenty-four hours, especially the mistake of confessing his long time feelings for his best friend.

You were shaking. But it wasn’t from the massive amount of blood that they boys had tracked into your home. Nor was it from the large open wounds on Vaidens face that made him unrecognizable. No, it was from the car confession your best friend had just given you. He was in love with you? All of a sudden? He had the audacity to tell you not to date bad guys, but who was worse than he was at this point? It was like he was going out of his way to disappoint you. Did he think that his random confession would stop you from hanging around Jaehyun? You were beginning to question his motives for telling you all of that. Was it really because he was in love, or was it because he didn’t want you to end up with werewolf kind’s mortal enemy? Either way, it was awfully convenient, his timing. He’d left you hanging earlier today, without even the smallest explanation. Just that he didn’t want to do anything he’d regret, and now he’s telling you he loved you. 

You shook your head as you got the supplies to take care of Vaiden’s wounds. He really had the shit beat out of him this time. Good. Jeongin and Seungmin were innocent in whatever turf war was happening between Chris and Vaiden. But you hoped that whatever happened tonight ended it for once and for all. You’d hate to see your boys hurt again. That whole Jeongin incident was traumatizing enough. Hopefully Vaiden had learned his lesson to not mess with Chris’s people again. When you walked from the hidden hall apothecary and back into the dinning room, you immediately felt uncomfortable. There were a few of Vaiden’s guys hanging around, giving you the side eyes as if you were a part of this beef. While the boys stood around, ceasing their conversations as soon as you walked in. “Whatever the fuck you have to say, just say it. I’m not in the mood to be stared at and talked about in my own damn house. So, get whatever it is off your chest before I kick you all out.”

Someone sighed, you recognized the sound, it was Changbin. “Are you..” He looked around at the rest of the room to see if they were wondering the same thing as him, “Are you really dating a vampire?”

It felt a strange sensation in your stomach, something akin to butterflies, but not that at the same time. “I’m not dating anyone.” You said matter-of-factly. “That includes your leader.” You shook your head. Minho pushed himself off the wall, arms still crossed over his chest as if he didn’t believe you.

“You smell an awful lot like you’ve been hanging around a vampire. Disgustingly so. Like the two of you were very close for a significant amount of time. If I can smell it, I know Chris-hyung can.” What was this? An interrogation? You huffed, putting down the saline solution you were using to clean Vaiden’s wounds. 

“And? So what if you can smell a vampire on me? The fuck does that have to do with any of you?” You were slowly edging towards meeting the top of your fed up barometer. “My love life has absolute shit to do with any of you.” You could feel the seering judgment from every man in the room and you hated it. There were men in you who didn’t know you from Adam and they still decided to cast judgment on you. “When I finish patching this piece-of-shit  up, you all, and I mean all of you, can kindly fuck off.” The room became deadly silent, none of them bothered to speak after that. 

Vaiden had large cuts and gashes on his face, neck and chest, almost like he’d been clawed at. Like he was almost ripped to shreds. Who could do this? Your mind drifted to the blood splatter all over Chris when he came to get you. A chill went down your spin. How angry was he to be capable of this? There had been a change in him since you’d come back and you can’t say you liked it. Maybe your mom was right, maybe his changing was because of your departure from his life. Maybe he did have feelings for you like he said and all of these personality changes were in part because of that. “Fuck… it looks like an animal did this.” You spoke under your breath, forgetting how all the people in the room had enhanced hearing.

“An animal did do that… we are wolves, Noona.” Jeongin spoke up from the corner. “Hy-hyung was enraged. I’ve never seen him that upset.”

“It didn’t help that Vaiden decided to bring your name into things. Something snapped in him when he called you…”Hyunjin looked at you with worried eyes, afraid to continue what he was saying.

“You started, you might as well finish.” You shrugged, forcing the salve you made into Vaiden’s slowly healing wounds. Just because you had to heal him, didn’t mean you had to be gentle about it. If it wasn’t for the stupid curse, you would have let him bleed out on your dining room table.

“He uhm-” Hyunjin was still unsure if he should continue, so Seungmin stepped in.

“He called you hyung’s human whore. And said that you liked being bred and he wondered if you could handle his pups.” He kept his face neutral as he spoke, but his red ears gave away his emotional state of mind. He was embarrassed, maybe even a little disgusted by the words that he had to relay.

You hummed, still pressing the salve into his wounds harshly. “He’s said worse to me.” You shrugged it off. This wasn’t your first run in with the foul creature known as Vaiden. He tried to get you drunk and have his way with you at a college party. If it wasn’t for Chris, you don’t know what might have happened. “He told me I should be glad he was even looking my way. That no one in their right mind would want to sleep with someone like me. He got a little handsy then he forced a kiss on me. I-” You sighed, “I just kept praying over and over that someone would save me.” You smiled sadly, hands faltering. “Someone did. Chris came and pulled this flaming sack of shit off of me. That was my first time ever seeing him get mad. No one could pull him off of him, they fought in the middle of the middle of the Greek row cul de sac.” You went back to working on the unconscious man. “So it’s kind of understandable how he ended up in this state. They were once physical equals, but not anymore.” You placed gauze and tape over the exposed areas and nodded to his men. “Get him out of my sight.” You wiped your hands on a hand towel. “Next time he gets hurt, find someone else to fix him up, I’d rather burn into a pile of ash than to help your bitch ass alpha.” They nodded, seeming to understand your feelings. Both of them hurling apologies your way.

You took a minute to clean up all the blood and waste around your living room. Chris’s pack members were ever so kind to help, Minho even took the trash to the back alleyway. You were in the middle of bleaching down the table when Changbin quietly approached you. He stood there appraising you before you finally got a little fed up with him staring. “What is it Binnie?” He smiled, glad you were utilizing the nickname he told you to use the last time they were here.

“Minho-hyung says he overheard Chris-hyung confessing to you.” You didn’t respond, it wasn’t like he was asking you a question, he was trying to confirm things for himself. “I know Chris-hyung is hard to read a lot of the time, he puts a very convincing front when it comes to most things.” He picked up a rag and started cleaning with you. “Most things… that don’t involve you.” You froze, but quickly resumed what you were doing. “Did you know… that while you lived out of town, he’d visit to check up on you?” You swallowed hard, trying to process the information he was telling you without letting him know it was getting to you. “He even tried to visit your place a handful of times, but you were never there, your boyfriend on the other hand, was. Seeing that your stance looks a little on edge, I take it that he never told you that.” He nodded, “Understandable. You and Hyung’s bond is….. Special.” He looked at you like he wanted you to take whatever bate he had set up. “I think you might be his mate.” 

You slammed your fist down on the table. “Enough, Changbin. I don’t want to hear about Chris right now. I’m definitely not in the mood to hear about me being his mate.” You rolled your eyes so hard they could have fallen out the socket. “Can you just go, please? I need space. From all of this.” He nodded, giving you an apologetic smile. 

“I’m sorry if I upset you, Y/n. But just know, I’d never lie to you.” He hugged you, but you didn't reciprocate the action, you just stood there with your hands at your sides. You waited until all of the boys left the house to collapse. It felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders and you were slowly sinking into the earth.

“My love for you knows no bounds. I love you more than anything on this earth…..” His words kept echoing in your head. You leaned against the wall, pulling your legs to your chest. You loved him too, more than anything. But you wondered if it was in the same way he loved you.

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© ✐Channieskies 『MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost here or on other sites. Please leave a like , comment, and reblog if you enjoyed this story.♥』

[inkedinshadows]

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

Thank you so much @velarisdusk for the tag! 🫶🏻

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

I don't have anything published on AO3 simply because I still don't know how to use it even though I do have an account. But here on tumblr, it's 92.878

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

49! I've never counted them before and never realized just how many they were omg

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Ongoing only Bound By Secrets. In progress apparently 10? I thought I had 3 WIPs. I completely forgot about the other 7 lol

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

UGH how do I choose one? A Helping Hand has a special place in my heart because it's the first fic I wrote and posted. Night and Days is one of my favorites because I love the banter between Azriel and reader, and I also have to mention Say My Name because omg I loved writing that one and I know I might be biased but I was giggling and kicking my feet while writing.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I'd say the first few things I wrote rather than one in particular for the simple reason that in Italian I tend to write very long sentences because it's normal, but in English sentences are usually shorter so it took a bit to get into that mindset. As for experimental, I'm trying to write a fic from two povs at the same time, sort of like an omniscient narrator. We'll see how it turns out.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Many fics surprise me while writing because I don't plan them out that much other than a few things I want to happen and then I see where the story leads me. As for reception, Bound by Secrets. I didn't expect so many people asking for a part 2! (I'll write it, I promise)

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

The Path To Healing and on a happier (and smutty) note Alcohol and Giggles. I cried writing the first one and laughed writing the second one.

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

I love every single fanart by madschofield and elizianna.the.one!

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

@writingcroissant was the first author I found on here, the literal reason I created an account was to read her fics, and @illyrianbitch was the second. I love everything they write and it made me want to write again.

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

@shedoessoshedoes and @duskandcobalt! I'm going to read all of your fics so don't be surprised if you see me in your notifications for the next few weeks 🥰

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start

Nope, no collaborations.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Kinktober! I decided to do it two weeks before it started and didn't think I'd be able to write all 31 one fics but I did it!

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

When I started posting, I kept opening tumblr every five minutes to see if there were any new notes/comments/etc. Now I don't do that anymore. I still care about people enjoying my content of course and any kind of feedback is always super appreciated, but I don't need to continuously check to know that my writing is valid and good even if I get only a few likes.

14. What is your advice?

I'm the wrong person to ask this to, but I guess write what you like and what you want to read. I know it's basic, but never before I realized just how true it is. Feedback and appreciation for your work is awesome, but you have to be the first one to like it or it's probably going to turn out bland if you push yourself to write something you don't like or are not interested in.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

Finish working on all those WIPs apparently lol. And I have an idea for a series that I want to work on as well.

No pressure of course, but if you'd like to @azrielslittleslut @anarchiii @shedoessoshedoes or anyone else who wants to do it!

[stickyspeckledlight]

HAPPY ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO THIS BLOG (and oooo follower appreciation event too and giveaway/raffle; below in the read me bc I'm gonna force y'all to deal with my sappy sappy words first <3)

(don't bully me my art is shit)

Like. Wow. I can't believe this blog is ALREADY ONE YEAR OLD (well, 1 year and one day old, tho technically it's even older since it's just a reblog ACC converted into my writing blog---but I'VE ONLY BEEN WRITING FOR IT FOR A YEAR AND ONE DAY, SO THERE), and how many ppl have gathered here

But seriously, I can't believe how many people actually enjoy my fun lil drabbles (wdym 30k is a drabble---) like fr ppl tysm for enjoying the shit i cook like *blushes* I'm so happy we can all be fucked up freaks together UwU. others may look at us an think we're pineapple pizza, but they're ignorant. in reality they are the pineapple pizza. and yes anon who keeps sending me pineapple pizzas to my house (fabricated) i will come for you, I'm just very busy baking pineapple pizzas to stuff you with when your time comes. the grim reaper thinks it's a bit excessive, but i don't, so that means i am a perfectly reasonable and sane person.

I'd been wanting to write yandere fic for awhile, but never really did anything until last year on the good ol' march 23rd when aventurine made me simp so hard that i finally wrote yan fics. and since then tbh its a bit silly to say but life kinda feels a lot better knowing that I've a community to share these lil drabbles (stop calling them drabbles oml) with, yknow. its the small things <3

seriously, im so awed at how many cool ppl I've met since starting this blog. from the anon who sent me pineapple pizza, the anon who sent me banger comments abt destroyed onset, the anons who give me cardiac arrest, the anon who asked me how my corpse was doing, and literally every single anon who plays along with my bullshit (anon who sent sunday outfit ask I promise I'm getting to answer it but ngl everytime i try to i just end up cuddling into my own blankets thinking about how cozy sunday's outfit is---look if i read abt cozy things then i gravitate towards cozy things ok)---tysm for giving me a giggle! all of your comments and the things you send into my inbox are the absolute highlights of my day.

So, to show my appreciation, instead of working on Destroyed Onset 4 and 5, i will instead be doing.

COMMISSION RAFFLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (3/24/25 - 3/28/25)

it's quite simple. just follow my blog (new followers are welcomed ofc) and reblog this post, preferably with something stupid so i can laugh at it and maybe make a meme out of it. in fact you know what if you do then I'll double draw you into the raffle. see. I've given y'all an incentive now. REBLOG WITH STUPID SHIT IF YOU WANT TO BE ENTERED TWICE INTO THE RAFFLE. IS THIS FAIR? IS THIS JUST? IDK BUT IT SEEMS FUNNY SO IMA DO IT LMAO. what are you going to do, stop me? ha, puny mortal. there is no stopping me now. because I'm having a good time, having a good ti---

once you're entered into the raffle, i'll draw some names and reward the following:

ONE person gets a full-length fic (somewhere between ~2-5k words)

ONE person get a shortfic (so up to ~1-2k words)

TWO people get a drabble (~200 - 500 words)

(but tbh knowing me all of these might end up way longer then i intend them to be---we'll see lmao)

This will run from TODAY, March 24th, to FRIDAY March 28th. One Friday passes, the names will be locked in and I'll DM the winners to discuss commission details.

As for requesting/commission rules, they're on my main page under 'Other Stuff' (alongside the tag guide). But since these are commissions, I'll add that I'm perfectly willing to write OC or Self-Inserts. I will not write non-yan fics though, just because tbh I have a really hard time writing pure fluff; like, it's not that i can't write fluff, but after a bit it's hard to resist the urge to insert something that's at least A LITTLE dark or angsty, lmao. But also just cuz this is a yandere blog, I'd like to keep my writing focused on yandere

Note: Commissions will be private, unless the commissioner gives me permission to post

With that, thank you!

Oh, and for the people who end up getting the above prizes, I might give y'all some participation memes. Just like. Compensary. You don't get fic but you get a lame semi-mass produced speckled meme

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

person who is sooooo normal about ray talks about the end of episode 10, what it confirms, what it introduces, and what it may even promise:

"can you please forgive me?"

starting off with this line.... there is a specific brand of betrayal and hurt reserved for the people who feel like the only ones in the world that can make you feel loved. we've seen ray get angry and even lash out at the other characters before but we haven't seen him breakdown the way he did in the sandray apartment fight. i think i took ray saying that he finally was starting to understand his feelings more in episode 9 too lightly, because it seems he meant more then just "i think i like you too" kind of thing, i wouldn't be surprised if ray realized the love he felt as well, and not just romantic love but the "you've seen so much of the ugliness in me but still stayed" kind of love and, if im gonna be bold, acceptance.

"you can be angry or hate me all you want"

lines like this tell me two things, the first being the guilt ray feels over the way he treats people and the second being how much pain he thinks he deserves for it. though i will say this time it feels different then in episode 4 where ray asks sand to call him a burden, because before he wanted sand to hurt him back (a bit of retaliation a bit of self-harm even) but this time he is asking for sand's understanding and forgiveness. he still thinks he deserves it, but now its more then just asking for someone to hurt you in order to reconcile (we will get to the fact sand isn't really there don't worry) there is a sort of emotional growth is what im trying to say.

"i know now that you want nothing from me"

this is also such a huge line for me. we know ray views himself as worthless, he would rationalize why anyone would want him (this is why he was so hurt about sand accepting money from his dad but that's already been meta'd to death so i won't get into that), so him not only thinking but verbalizing that sand is someone who is kind to him without expecting anything in return is huge for ray's ability to see himself as more than a burden or his father's money. in fact, i'd say him admitting this here means he is already beginning to gain a sense of self-worth.

"though i've been nothing but an asshole to you, you are always there for me"

this is the part where we really see ray break. im not good at reading other people's emotions so im not gonna comment on what emotions the actor is trying to portray (tho he is portraying some big ones goddamn), from a text stand point, im interpereting this as pain. I talked before a bit about guilt but i'd say at this moment the realization that someone can care for him so deeply that the parts of himself he's sure are not only unlovable but hurtful won't drive them away, causes him a lot of pain. as someone who is bad feeling cared for or appreciated as a person and sometimes acts like a dick about it, i too would break apart at this moment.

"please understand me"

now this is the line that inspired this post in the first place. he struggles with the connections he has with others but you can see how lonely this man is. like he has been told he is a burden, he interperets his life events and the way other people treat him as proof he is fundamentally unlovable and bad luck for anyone he gets close to, and he is a self-fulfilling prophecy about it.

when he asks sand to understand him he's asking sand to look deeper then his self-sabotoging and attachment issues and see the love and care he has that he struggles to understand and feel and express. he is filled with so much pain how could it not start to infect everyone around him, but from what we see of him, he probably never wanted to hurt other people in this way to begin with.

i think the reason this line specifically broke my heart is that, so much of his behavior at times can be interpreted as a subconscious cry for help, help he won't except but help he needs anyway. i knew any arc involving ray addressing his addiction would destroy me because there is the pain experiencing the things i mentioned above, the pain in thinking you're helpless to them, and then the pain in doing what it takes to try to move forward from them, like this shit is hard. the clarity ray is able to adress imaginary sand with is so incredible even though its in his head, especially given how stubborn he'd been about admitting any issues in the first place.

"being with me requires some patience"

all that i said above and more... i don't think ray will get over that feeling of being a burden any time soon if he ever does because it becomes so ingrained in your worldview and the way you interpret other people's behavior. i like the way this line is phrased (i know its a translation but still) because it alludes to him feeling that he is capable of being loved, it'll be hard but not impossible.

"but if you don't want to put up with me anymore, that's alright. i get you"

remember how i just said i think he now believes he's lovable... well actually i still mean it. he's been constantly told and shown how his behaviour and mentality are hard to deal with, like he thinks his existence is so burdensome it killed his own mother BUT he now knows sand is different. he won't blame sand for not wanting to deal with him, he's always been aware of his shortcomings but can now honestly address the effect his actions have on others, and at the same time he knows that its possible to care for him.

this is why i think sand is his motivation for going to rehab, he's shown ray what is possible for him in ways no one else before sand has.

"but please know this"

there is something so special about the impact sand has had on ray that i think goes beyond their relationship. sand made ray see the value in having a future, in being loved, in being happy. in episode 8 ray tells sand that he's finally happy when they spend time together, and it may seem like he's repeating it here but again this sand is imaginary. he's not saying this to get sand to answer his texts or hang out with him. he's imagining his reason for wanting to recover from addiction. like the weight this scene carries at least triples for me everytime i remember sand isn't really there. this was such a beautiful choice to make imo like ray saying these things to sand would probably be good for their relationship but it wouldn't have the same impact on ray's character arc.

my conclusion is once again don't know why i rambled on besides, ray as character was manufactured in a lab to drive me insane. like i've triggered my mood disorder twice over the course of watching this show but i wouldn't take it back for even a second. i love ray, i love what we've seen of his mentality and backstory, i love that we're seeing him making the decision to address his addiction, i go numb with the thought of where his arc will go next, but i especially love seeing everyone come together to scream about this character that means so much to me (not at all subtle reference to the fact i've read hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone by @jgyapologism what three? times now) anyway hope we all continue to scream about him this week. 🫡🫡

[dearestcaterpillar]

This is my story of what this person did to me. Please comment after you read the whole post. I've been through enough cyberbullying and I don't want any more. I just want to point out how this person has threatened me, robbed me of money and caused me huge psychological problems

It all started because I wanted to buy a commision. I wanted Belos in a men's corset and Magpie gave me my choice of free backgrounds. For fun, I wrote down I'd take the one with dead Caleb. The problem was, I'm not from an English-speaking country. I can read and speak, but I can't write in English, so I use a translator, which unfortunately made my joke into something disgusting, for which I wanted to apologize.

I started spamming because my brain went into induced trauma mode. I was always being punished for my mistakes and I was terrified of losing this person. He was my idol, a great hero in silver armor whose work supported me in times of trouble.

He blocked me and in a big panic I texted him on his Co-Fi when I had a subscription. My mind was in a total panic. I know he was asking me to leave him, but I couldn't. I cared so much about him as a person. We weren't friends, we were more like acquaintances. He sent me his projects, scripts and everything for his big project.

That's where the threats began, which sent me into a major panic attack and caused me to self-harm and slit my wrists.

After a couple of days I contacted him on Etsy because I had bent one of his products - a necklace - out of stress and I needed to know what the material was, because I was afraid I would break it during the repair. He translated that into me stalking him, accusing me of ruining his life. It's a pretty big problem with him that he doesn't put important information in the description of the product he's selling. I deleted the message, but before that I copied it for a guy who was helping me with the whole situation.

I know he asked me to leave him, but I was just fighting not to lose someone I cared about.

About the Ko-fi thing. I had a subscription to it. He sent me the link himself, asking if I wanted to support him. I said yes, of course. I was a big fan. I tried to contact him there to work things out. There he started threatening me sa blocked me there too. Unfortunately he chose the option that involved not returning my money. So after a couple of weeks I contacted him about it because I wanted my money back. Not all of it. I'm a fair person and only wanted to refund what was left of my total subscription from the day I was blocked. He never wrote me back and never sent the money back despite knowing my paypal because I sent him money through it several times.

I wanted to apologize to him for everything. When I texted him about the etsy, I had an apology ready.

I've tried to call out this behavior in the past, but all I've gotten is cyberbullying and death threats

Meanwhile, Magpie made me a stalker even though I only contacted him on platforms where we had previous contact and I just didn't do anything to make me a stalker. I was just trying to work things out.

Magpie then dragged more people into the whole issue. My ex-girlfriend who was just trying to buy stuff from him and xx other people. He lied to my girlfriend about the email saying he couldn't send her a package because of it. When she told him he was lying he blocked her and reported her.

And that's my story. I don't want to throw hate at Magpie. I don't want to sink to his level. I just want to point out what he did to me and that I'm now carrying new traumas from both his threats and cyberbullying from his fans.

[austinslounge]

I honestly tried to like Kaia, I truly did, but I can’t stand this shit anymore. Her desperate attempts to be popular, seem interesting and ”deep” are driving me insane at this point. I know it’s probably not her fault, but her parents’, they made her this cringy attention-seeker after all. I can’t understand what Austin sees in her other than her family’s connections or just a plain PR agreement. She has no personality, she always tries to gain popularity by copying her mother(or people she’s dating). It’s funny how she doesn’t even look that much like Cindy, sure, she’s beautiful, but Presley literally stole Cindy’s face. Her attempts to seem intelligent are also miserable. I’ve never seen any of her book club readings, because for me, most of her book recommendations are just airplane reads, but I’ve seen many people say that even when she’s talking about books, it seems scripted and staged. Like someone just gave her a summary and she retells what happened in the book, that’s it. I mean, what intelligence? She never even bothered to take basic acting classes. Her comments about nepotism speak volumes too. During the pandemic she bragged about having dinner reservations and partying with her friends. Her merch is awful. With all her money and resources, she could have made some really good stuff, but why would she?Her small insane fan base will pay 50$ for an ugly white shirt with a caption either way. She’s desperately clinging to anyone who can give her even the smallest amount of fame, her following people and then unfollowing them if they don’t follow back. The way she was clinging to Austin hardcore in July, dragging him away from his fans, when he wanted to interact with them. Her stupid cake for his birthday. Don’t even get me started on how she makes out with her female friends constantly or throws herself on her male costars or short SNL guys. I don’t know why I feel so annoyed and disgusted by her all the time. I swear, this girl spoils my excitement for Austin and his work every fucking time. Nepotism is not always a bad thing, there are talented nepo babies, but she’s like the epitome of everything I hate about nepotism. I don’t know how she can rub shoulders with people who actually have talent, get invited to all these awards and red carpets. Kaia had plenty of time to prove that she’s worth something, she’s been in the industry since she was a child, but no. Why would she prove anything? Her mother is Cindy Crawford, her father is a millionaire worth 400 million, her boyfriend is Austin Butler. I just wish she will go away finally. No matter how hard I try, I can’t warm up to her. Sadly, looking at the state she is now, you can clearly tell that the girl has issues, but sadly,having no brain,she can’t understand that she’s a tragedy about to happen.

💯

Girl! I wish I could give you an award for this post. You basically hit the nail squarely on the head with the many various reasons why a lot of us in Austin's fandom don't like this girl! I'd be saying the exact same thing if Austin were dating another woman just like this. I'm actually verrry surprised that people haven't called Kaia out on her very obvious clout-chasing by now.

I'll be honest, I never really cared for her even when she was dating Elordi. I don't hate her, she's just meh to me. Always has been. So my thoughts and feelings about her are not about Austin. It's more so about what I've observed about her over the years.

Her dating Austin just makes things even more unbearable though -- especially when you know that he could do so much better. 😩 But hey, it's his life, not mine!

When I realized they were dating however, I really did try to like her too, or at least give her a chance. I saw that Austin was with her, so I was trying to be a "good fan"and see what he may see in her. But last year, I started seeing more and more negative things that I just didn't like about her.

I really don't have much to add to this wonderful post, because you basically touched on the many various reasons why a lot of AB fans don't really care for her. I also think she makes Austin look cheap with her weird behavior and interests. 👀 She really cheapens his brand imo. But that's a topic for another day lol.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Do you have other social medias where you publish Cobra Kai content ?

Hi!!! I do have some other accounts, like my AO3! My two main fanfics I have going right now are Awakening, a werewolf!Demetri AU set in Barcelona during the Sekai Taikai, and You Never Called It What It Was, a YasMoon backstory fic set before and during Season 1. There's also the binary boyfriends gay little road trip to find Miguel after S4 AU series, which I DO have lots more chapters planned for, but it's currently on pause until I finish some of my other fics. Hopefully I'll dive right back into this one after the show ends, since there will no longer be new canon material tO GIVE ME MORE IDEAS THAN I HAVE TIME TO WRITE, GOD DAMN IT >______< (I wanna try writing Samguel too at some point, but I'm worried I'd be bad at it ;_____; And I love them very much, so I want to do them justice!!! Here's to someday, though, lol.)

I also have some playlists on my spotify!!! Right now I've got: Elimetri, Elimetri except it's all TSwift (she fits them exceptionally well, don't judge!), YasMoon, general Yasmine playlist, Samguel, and the homoerotic road trip fic!

As far as other socials go...welp. Funny story: I DID make an instagram to post moodboards a while back, and someone uh. Reported it??? I'm like 95% sure some homophobic assholes took issue with the fact that I ship Elimetri and YasMoon and I do it pretty loudly and unapologetically. I think I commented on some Demetri & Eli and/or Yasmine & Moon posts saying that I loved the ship, and yeah, um...I guess The Straights™️start screeching and clutching their pearls over people ever interpreting same-gender friendships having romantic undertones. Or something. I can't even remember exactly what I said, but it wasn't anything stronger than like "I ship this so much" or what have you. But I guess that alone is an atrocity in some people's ass-backwards brains :/ This day in age, queer hate is making enough of a resurgence that I shouldn't even be surprised it's alive and thriving outside tumblr. Anyways, I ended up just taking the L and letting insta ban my account because I'm ngl, it's pretty rancid there and not worth the trouble. All this to say I would advise staying off the CK instagram fandom if you primarily like queer ships. It's fucking chock full of h*wkm**n and yas/metri shippers, and as a queer and a woman I do not trust or feel safe around that at all :/ (Like yeah, please tell me more about how cool it is when women lose their agency and personality to revolve their life around boyfriends who view them as coolness prizes and don't care about them as people at all??? How does this brand of blatant misogyny still exist in 20fucking25??? Anyways) There's just generally a lot of homophobia and misogyny that I think would make trying to participate in the fandom there really depressing. I've heard TikTok is pretty rampant with homophobes too, tbh, So I'm not planning on getting on there, either. I feel like it's just hard to seek out the people I'd actually vibe with among a sea of toxic waste XD And, y'know. All the content made by people who have no issue with my gender being portrayed as braindead props to make men look better ^^; (If any of my followers are already on CK Instagram/TikTok, don't worry--this does not apply to you!!! If you're reading this, it means you're one of the gay little posse I actually respect and you are some of the few on those sites who DON'T suck XD)

Random aside, but I've been lowkey craving to make some video edits/music videos of my ships, so I might get back on youtube one of these days. Unfortunately, I don't have the means right now D: I used to have Sony Vegas, but then my computer broke it when I was forced to upgrade to windows 10 ;_____; I think there's a way to fix it somehow, but it's...super complicated??? Eventually I'll crack down and do it, probably, when the yen is eating me from the inside out. But for now, I'm too lazy XD