#and even though i'd never commented or posted anything there i read that people started talking about me

[yurucamp]

so glad you are a fan of shimeji simulation!! ❤❤🍄🍳 i hope to see you draw more someday

this is how i learned that the page on my website with my shimeji simulation art is very broken, i just fixed it! https://waxwing.neocities.org/tkmiz

will draw more for sure, i should reread it soon! any characters you'd particularly like to see? if i remember correctly, it was announced on my birthday, i followed girls last tour as it was being released so i remember the annoucement of shimeji simulation so vividlyy

[pomefioredove]

Hai hai! I wanted to request HCs for Riddle, Ace, Cater, Leona, Jamil, Azul, Floyd, Jade, Vil, and Malleus (apologies, that's a lot of characters-) with a reader that is normally awkward/easy to fluster but will randomly do or say something really bold. If that's already been done then please ignore!

Hope you have a nice day! Or night! Or secret third thing???? :3

I think this is rather similar to this, but I haven't done some of these characters with this prompt so I'll just write them here :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ the boys do a flirt (part 2)

type of post: headcanons characters: ace, cater, floyd, jade additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

we all know that Ace prides himself on his flirting skills

what can he say?

seeing you get all shy and giggly is a huge ego boost for him

he can't help himself!

even his corniest lines get a reaction out of you, it's too easy

(and giving Deuce secondhand embarrassment is a big bonus)

he starts to think that maybe he's overdone it when you start using his own lines against him

it catches him by surprise every time

and he can't even play it cool!

but, he'll admit, he's... kinda into it

turns out the taste of his own medicine is pretty sweet

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

not unlike Ace, Cater just really likes getting a reaction out of you

for one, it's good for his self-esteem

for another, you're the cutest thing he's even seen

and, finally, he knows just how to press your buttons

even his brain works on an algorithm

he figures out what you react to the most, and then uses that until you're reduced to a flustered mess

rinse and repeat

and when you start giving back the same energy, he's...

well, surprised, but also...

damn...

what's a friendship without a little tension that makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable, anyway?

^ Riddle hates you both

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I had to think about how Floyd would flirt for longer than I'd like to admit

like... he bites people, right? we agree that he bites?

generally just annoying on purpose

closing books while you're reading them, stealing your things (and then pretending he doesn't have them), holding your things above his head where you can't reach...

anything to get you all riled up

it's adorable!

he's more used to being yelled at than flirted back with, though

this is much better, in his opinion

let's hope you're more clever than he is, though

he adapts fast

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

flirting with Jade means a lot of subtle comments and subdued looks

let's hope you're good at reading subtext...

you're going to need all the help you can get with this one

one careless glance in your direction could be him checking you out, and you'd never know

being, perhaps, the most subtle of flirts in this post, your boldness almost makes him blush

it's as if you're not even afraid of him

how... interesting

if you hadn't caught his full attention before, you surely have now

[dunmeshistash]

Greetings, Mr. Meshi!

This is perhaps a bit of an unorthodox question, but one that has been bothering me for an unreasonable amount of time.

Now, here's the thing: I OBSESS over Marcille outliving everyone she holds dear. It's a theme very close to me, but even beyond that I just find it to be one of the most interesting elements of Dungeon Meshi's story for me personally. I've written an embarrassing amount of lengthy essays on it that will never see the light of day - that's how obsessed I am over this specific element of her character. But, there's something that bothers me...

A lot of poignant stories and artworks that tackle this topic get comments on 'em whenever Falin is the subject of aging, each one some variation of "Everything points to Falin having an extended lifespan after her revival!" which... Seems weird to me?

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but setting aside my personal annoyances, I don't remember anything pointing to this at all. At least, nothing concrete.

I don't know if this is a question you'd want to answer or not, but since your blog is a hub for all sorts of opinions and headcanons, I'd love to know where this line of thought could originate from.

I really wouldn't blame you if you didn't answer this question, though. Part of me feels I'm just asking this because I want to see if others share in my confusion or not.

Rrrregardless, though! Lemme take the opportunity to say that your blog is delighful. Love it! Also, that mushroom man with the funny face that sometimes responds to you with lengthy essays is also really cool. Everyone is cool. At least here on the northern hemisphere! It is smack dab in the middle of fall, after all! Coolness all around! Stay frosty! Or don't! Maybe warm up at a fireplace. I don't know!

Hi there! Thank you for the kind words, I love reading other's opinions on what I post so I also love the additions by the mushroom <3

It's quite hot over here in northeast Brazil, send some coolness my way please I'm dying.

Your question isn't strange at all! And I don't mind answering anything (unless it's rude or sounds like shipping war bait) so don't worry.

(Decided to put the rest under a readmore, TLDR: Kui said "maybe so, right?" about Falin having a longer lifespan but I have arguments why I don't think this actually confirms it. Anyway if you're someone who likes the headcanon you might want to skip this post)

To be honest those type of comments bother me too because I also LOVE Marcille's struggle with mortality and sometimes "Falin will live much longer!" feels undermining of the lesson she had to learn. I don't mind it in the headcanon sphere where everything is allowed and happy endings grow on trees but when it becomes intertwined with canon it starts to make me a little disappointed.

Just a reminder of the lesson she has to learn

She has to come to terms with the cycle of life and death, that something she wants (everyone to live longer) shouldn't be forced upon others just because it causes her grief. So, to me at least, Falin being made into something that will end up outliving other tallmen would undermine the message? In a canon sense ofc, if you're writing a wish fulfillment story then her living longer would have a different meaning, I just wanna be clear I have nothing against it in that sense, it all depends on what story you're trying to tell.

Anyway, actually answering your question that idea comes from the fact she was fused to a Red Dragon, and the fact her body has been affected by it, her sight was fixed and she grows feathers for example, so people theorize maybe her lifespan has been affected too. But we don't really know how long dragon's live so it's hard to say how much it would have been affected if at all.

It also comes from this answer Kui gave in a QnA

Q: Would Falin have an extended lifespan after the whole chimera thing? A: Maybe so, right?

To me this reads as the usual non-answers Kui gives, like, "I'll leave it up to your imagination" but for other people this read as a confirmation of the headcanon, in another questions she answers "I hope so" about Thistle leading a happy life after having his desires eaten and it's even debatable if Thistle survived at all so I don't think those comments indicate much of canon (I'm that way about most QnA answers tbh, unless it's something inconsequential like confirming Mithrun's Brother's name or stuff about very minor characters)

Another argument I have against her having a different lifespan is Izutsumi, Izu has been mixed with a monster but continues to age at the same rate a Tallmen would, even tho she also has different biology because of the Great Cat she's fused with (ears, reflexes, eyes etc etc) she is still a tallman

Falin isn't really the same thing as Izutsumi tho, I understand, but it's the closest example we have, if we believe the AB descriptions and demi-humans are really mixes between humans and monsters that's also another argument about it not affecting lifespan, since all of them are short lived and have an average lifespan of 55.

All of this *can* be dissmissed tho, the other demi-humans and beastmen are all mixed with mammal monsters and nothing nearly as powerful as a Dragon, so there is arguments to be made that Falin is different and that she *might* have an extended lifespan, all I'm saying is that there's no solid confirmation of it, it's fine to believe it but going around "correcting" other people saying it's a fact wouldn't be right I don't think, especially if you're saying that in a conversation about Marcille journey of death acceptance.

Death is a touchy subject and everyone is at different stages of their own journeys with it so I really don't want to judge those who would rather have Falin or even Laios live longer. I'm not really sure how to talk about this in the proper way, but I hope I didn't make anyone upset!

[mamawasatesttube]

Sorry, I know you don’t really like people bringing up Jason but I’m very curious. I read Straight on Till Morning several times before really joining Tumblr and I was surprised by how much you seem to dislike him compared to how nicely he was written in said fic. Is it cuz it’s a future fic so he can be more chilled out than in current comics or something?

Feel free to ignore me if you want. Curiosity does not owe me answers.

no worries, i don't mind polite questions! :P

so there's two things. a) sotm was written when the only real comics i'd read were sb94, yj98, tt03, batgirl (2000), and nightwing '96 (iirc - i might be forgetting one or two but the point is, when i was pretty new to comics). at this point wfa had tricked me into thinking jason actually had a consistent character arc that i simply hadn't read yet, and i assumed it would be weird to write a fic where dick, tim, and cass were all around as kon's friends + damian was there being jon's friend in the background, but jason didn't get mentioned, so i worked him in bc i thought that was like. gonna be weird if i didn't, even tho i didn't know what he was doing in postcrisis yet. i mostly just wanted to write about kon and did not yet have the strong "actually i do not care for 99% of post-rebirth comics" feelings i have today. if i were to do the sotm rewrite in my mind, jason would actually still be in his villain to antivillain era because that's my actual favorite era of him. i think it's fun when he's hanging around being like... a vengeful ghost who's just determined to make his problems Everyone's Problem. i'm not really interested in soft angsty daddy's boy jtodd or whatever sdkjfh and that seems to be the most popular version of him i see. it's either soft angsty daddy's boy jason or it's power fantasy cop-adjacent jason who has never done anything wrong in his life and is completely valid in every decision he's ever made. neither of these interests me.

which brings me to b) it's not so much that i dislike jason todd as a character so much as that his fans are so fucking annoying to me. that chapter of sotm? multiple people in the comments were there ONLY to talk about jason, even though the fic is literally about kon and not about jason and he just happens to appear for PART of one scene that chapter. it made me get sick of hearing about him. like theres soooo many jason todd fics out there can you go read those. i want to talk about kon! and i've had people bring him up on my completely unrelated fics too like he doesn't even get MENTIONED like one fic is about clark kon and tim, and someone was in the comments like "omg i bet clark was thinking about jason here" and i was so ... dude. read the room. or the fic even. it is not about him.

but even more than the way a lot of jason fans have this apparently compulsive need to make him the main character of the entire universe, i really can't stand how many of them i've seen spout literal straight up copaganda and/or defense of the death penalty. like they will bend over backwards so hard to defend why he was right to put 8 heads in a duffel bag or why it's morally correct to kill rapists that they start spewing right-wing talking points. and the constant need to make him the perfect imperfect victim ("he's angry and loud unlike GOOD victims--") and all of that just... it really turns me off of 99% of fan content about him that i've seen. it makes me genuinely kind of uncomfortable. like if you think there's a category of criminal that it's okay to execute (without a trial, even) i want nothing to do with you. can you guys just say it's sexy when a man is covered in blood after murdering a room full of people without having to be like "and he was right to do it too!!" because i promise he was not. and if you SAY any of this people will come up with a whole thing about how you must hate victims and/or poor people or some shit. its... really something.

all of that being said - i think there are interesting things you COULD do with his character. i think he can be a fascinating character! with stories worth telling! the family tragedy, the horror story, the vengeful ghost! but at this point with how rancid i find his fanbase i just really only want to see jason takes from people i know will not start spewing copaganda at me + people who i know appreciate tim kicking him in the balls (bc he kicked dick in the balls and tim is a bitch).

anyways. bring back tentatodd 2k25 who's with me

[puppetwoman17]

@ace-is-undead It’s nice to meet a new fan! I hope you make lots of friendships on here❤️

For anyone who’s curious, this person asked me:

as someone taking interest in Captain Marvel because of the movies (never heard of him before :/), I'd love to know why you think the movies ruined Billy's image! Bear in mind, I recently started reading some comics about Shazam

I knew I’d be making a hella long comment, so I thought, hell, let’s make a post!

Now, as a preface, I worded what I said a little too strong. The 2019 movie isn’t the worst piece of Shazam/CM media ever. There are definitely parts of it that I liked. The humor was 10/10 for me, and I did like the costumes. There are things about the story I don’t like, but for the purpose of all of us not sitting here for the next two hours, I will stick with just Billy’s personality.

This post will probably have stated everything more eloquently than me lol:

Many Golden Age heroes were created/used to combat war trauma. To the kids who read those comics, it made them feel safe. To read about these people with fantastical abilities, who regularly fought Nazis, supervillains, and entire armies.

Captain Marvel was a little different, though. It wasn’t an adult who was doing the protecting. Or, it wasn’t JUST an adult. It was also Billy Batson. A kid, like all of the other kids reading these comics. And it was different from kid heroes like Robin because he was the hero. The main hero.

Before the New52 reboot, basically from the 40s-2000s, but I could be wrong, Billy was a homeless kid. His uncle Ebenezer threw him out after his parents died and stole his inheritance. He got a job at Whiz Radio and became a reporter, giving him enough money to get his own apartment.

In one continuity, his friend Dudley becomes his guardian. In the most famous interpretation, the Power of Shazam series from the 90s, he is, after some time, adopted by his twin sister Mary’s adoptive family the Bromfields, and Nora Bromfield happens to be their mother’s cousin.

The important thing to grasp from this is that Billy was independent. Responsible. And when he got his powers, he was also responsible with them. He has a few fumbles, but he was always able to keep them and do good with them.

His Captain Marvel persona was also like that. He led the Squadron of Justice, a team of Fawcett heroes. There are also instances of heroes like Batman and Superman praising him as a trustworthy hero, even knowing about his identity.

It’s also important to note that, while in some times the Captain character is childish, he is never stupid. He makes mistakes, is a little goofy, but he never does anything outright cringe worthy.

A prime example of a good interpretation is the JLU episode Clash. The whole JL really likes him. For some reason my tumblr is acting up today so I can’t put any videos without it not allowing me to type afterwords. But the series is on Netflix. Like holy heck, Bruce says they all like him because he’s sunny. Bruce!

There’s also comic examples, like Action comics #768, which is in the POV of Superman. I’m just gonna put everything Clark thinks as text.

“And then it happens.”

“Armed with the wisdom of Solomon, the patience of Atlas, and the focus of Achilles, a teenage boy in the body of a man defends human kind to a frog goddess.”

“I can’t imagine anything more ludicrous. I can’t imagine anything more moving.”

“With unmatched eloquence, he explains humanity’s needs, our weaknesses, and our relationships with nature to a being as old as time.”

“She retorts. It’s not the act itself that enrages her, but the fact that her people are taken for granted.”

“Bred, butchered, wasted. Without appreciation for the contribution to the lifecycle.”

“He emphasizes. It is a horrible thing to be underestimated, unappreciated, forgotten.”

“His sincerity is a living thing. They speak for an eternity until Heqt has been heard and appeased.”

“Then, the war is over. Diplomacy and reason succeeds, where force…where I… simply would have failed.”

This is another example:

I mean the whole Captain Marvel-focused panel is Clark and Bruce arguing with Diana that Cap will be a great asset to the League, and how Bruce wants him on because he’s just GOOD. They all knew he was a kid, and they didn’t care because they trusted him that much!

Many 80s and 90s comic showed Cap as this beacon of hope, very akin to his Fawcett era, which is why so many of us liked it. He was still goofy at times, but it never overshadowed how much of a hero he was. Hell, the Fawcett heroes never gave a damn about him being a kid. All they saw was a person doing good, and they automatically began working with him.

He would get into friendly tussles with Superman, and him and Diana hugged one time, and she confided in him about how she might die. I can’t find the issue, but it’s drawn by Alex Ross, so that may narrow it for you.

Cap was genuinely respected. There are even some comics where Billy’s is interacting with the League as himself and they treat him like any other friend!

And Billy was chosen not because he was a last resort, but because the Wizard saw so much good and purity in him. He still made mistakes, but he was never not worthy.

Compare that with, not just the Shazam movies, but the DCAMU movies(JL War & Throne of Atlantis), and you get a whole other monster. I mean, he is just dumb, awful. He’s good when he’s Billy, a little snarky while also being a good person and comforting Cyborg(before taking his jersey, lol). But when he’s Shazam(his name in the DCAMU) every single thing that came out of his mouth was just… not it. If gets even worse in Throne of Atlantis. Literally almost everyone on the team hates him. The only reason Cyborg doesn’t is because he knows his identity.

In the 2019 Shazam movies, hes very similar. They made him a lot more jaded, which just ruined his character for me because Billy is the type of person who would rather die than talk down to other kids going through what he did. I’m cool with the rebelliousness, it’s just that that I’m worried about. It’s even worse in the 2013 shazam comic series because he’s actually way meaner there. Like jeez, why do you want me to hate this boy so much DC??

And as his Shazam self, he’s like ten times more goofy and irresponsible, which is such a backwards take it’s insane.

The character of Captain Marvel was beloved by so many children because it showed that they could be just like those other heroes. They could fight the monsters and get the job done, and no one would look down on them. They would be taken seriously. Seeing this kid bond with and interact with and be trusted by these seasoned adult heroes was EVERYTHING.

I may not have a grown up in the 40s/50s, but I did get introduced to him in JLU, and then Young Justice, and then obscure media, and then comics. And through that journey, the take I loved infinitely more was of Captain Marvel being this guy who made mistakes, but always tried to do the right thing.

Making him out to be this…immature dude who never knew what he was doing just stomped on all of us. It also really irks me because that is how some people will be introduced to him. As opposed to who he really is. And they won’t be interested because the face value is all they’ll see.

Heck, some people think he’s one of the weakest DC characters when he ranks in the top ten. He’s the Champion of Magic and guardian of the Rock of Eternity for Pete’s sake! He’s fought and almost won against the Specter himself! (Day of Vengeance comic series, it’s so good!)

It’s unclear why his character has been so diminished. Some people, including me, think DC is trying to lower his…everything in general so he can never measure up to the Man of Steel, which is so petty it’s ridiculous.

Hopefully he’ll get something in James Gunn’s new DCU, a movie or a show. Because I feel like there’s a chance to reintroduce the true Captain/Shazam to people.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my petty-fueled rant😅. Sorry for the angry spews. Anyway, there are some good reading lists for Shazam/Cap on tumblr. I really advise you to check those out. Though there are also a few articles on google listing all of his appearances, so if you wanna get detailed then those are where you should go.

We also have a Captain Marvel fan club! Go over to @im-not-buying-it-ether and ask for an invite for more content.

I hope you have a fulfilling journey!

[teoft]

It's like Tumblr has become almost a diary for me, thanks to no character limit and a read more button. This atmosphere of acceptance and understanding helps a lot too.

I'll get back to posting actual art, juggling with Twitter and Bluesky along with commissions is taking up a lot of my time.

Anyway, thoughts about art community and being social

For the longest time I've had this feeling of being an outsider in this vague community of artists that see as colleagues of sorts. Like I meet all the "criteria" of being in the group, and yet don't really feel like I'm part of it. Well, it seems I am right in some way, and the reason is that they interact with each other, while I sit here drawing alone.

Unfortunately I've always been prone to isolate myself from others. I grew up feeling like I should be ashamed of loving to draw, since it was always fanart monsters, creatures and cool guys instead of "proper art" like animals and portraits. Before social media, I only drew for myself and never showed anything to anybody. I hid my art from my family, from the world, so that I wouldn't be judged. I think it is one of the biggest reasons why I have trouble interacting with people in the context of art (tbh I'm shit at being social anyway but that's a whole another problem).

Even when I had a scanner and means to post my art online, I never did, due to the whole "if you put something online it'll be there forever" mindset. My first actual account anywhere online must've been Facebook in 2010ish, where I only had a few friends. It was the perfect place for me to finally post anything online, and so I did: I used to post pretty much everything I drew on there. Slowly gaining courage, I eventually made my original Tumblr account, then Deviantart, Twitter, etc.

Still, all I did was throw my art out there in hopes of somebody liking it. I didn't really know how to interact with the people who commented on my posts, so instead I mostly just... made more art. I did have some friend groups here and there, but either they ended up falling apart or my social battery drained in such a way that I slowly drifted away. I had gotten used to just being by myself and relying only on myself in the online art world.

During my design studies, I started putting more thought and work on promoting myself, so that it could be one career path for me to take. My mindset was that I'll work hard and become "big", even if it meant that one post gained me just one follower. In 2020 I ended up going viral with a meme and suddenly getting tens of thousands of followers. It was great and a welcome boost of morale, but unfortunately 2020 was otherwise one of the worst years in my life.

Throughout the years people have come and gone, so the only constant for me has been myself, and my drive to develop my skills. Thus it's been too easy for me to just isolate myself. In a way it has been my strength with regards to art, but sometimes I wish I knew how to make lasting connections. I think/know I might be autistic to some degree, which adds to the difficulty of being social. Though, to be honest, I don't know if I'd gotten this far without my autistic hyperfixations.

I guess the thing I need to do now to fix this problem of loneliness and isolation is to just... slowly try and be more social. To reply to comments and talk to people. All of which is easier said than done. Still, just gotta take that first step and then keep going.

Despite lacking the kind of community I yearn for, it seems I've made a name for myself, enough so that people seem to take pride in knowing me. Or at least that's the impression I've gotten a few times. But still, I am happy that I've had a positive effect on people. After all, my two main motivators in art are that I like doing it, and I like when people enjoy my art.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

person who is sooooo normal about ray talks about the end of episode 10, what it confirms, what it introduces, and what it may even promise:

"can you please forgive me?"

starting off with this line.... there is a specific brand of betrayal and hurt reserved for the people who feel like the only ones in the world that can make you feel loved. we've seen ray get angry and even lash out at the other characters before but we haven't seen him breakdown the way he did in the sandray apartment fight. i think i took ray saying that he finally was starting to understand his feelings more in episode 9 too lightly, because it seems he meant more then just "i think i like you too" kind of thing, i wouldn't be surprised if ray realized the love he felt as well, and not just romantic love but the "you've seen so much of the ugliness in me but still stayed" kind of love and, if im gonna be bold, acceptance.

"you can be angry or hate me all you want"

lines like this tell me two things, the first being the guilt ray feels over the way he treats people and the second being how much pain he thinks he deserves for it. though i will say this time it feels different then in episode 4 where ray asks sand to call him a burden, because before he wanted sand to hurt him back (a bit of retaliation a bit of self-harm even) but this time he is asking for sand's understanding and forgiveness. he still thinks he deserves it, but now its more then just asking for someone to hurt you in order to reconcile (we will get to the fact sand isn't really there don't worry) there is a sort of emotional growth is what im trying to say.

"i know now that you want nothing from me"

this is also such a huge line for me. we know ray views himself as worthless, he would rationalize why anyone would want him (this is why he was so hurt about sand accepting money from his dad but that's already been meta'd to death so i won't get into that), so him not only thinking but verbalizing that sand is someone who is kind to him without expecting anything in return is huge for ray's ability to see himself as more than a burden or his father's money. in fact, i'd say him admitting this here means he is already beginning to gain a sense of self-worth.

"though i've been nothing but an asshole to you, you are always there for me"

this is the part where we really see ray break. im not good at reading other people's emotions so im not gonna comment on what emotions the actor is trying to portray (tho he is portraying some big ones goddamn), from a text stand point, im interpereting this as pain. I talked before a bit about guilt but i'd say at this moment the realization that someone can care for him so deeply that the parts of himself he's sure are not only unlovable but hurtful won't drive them away, causes him a lot of pain. as someone who is bad feeling cared for or appreciated as a person and sometimes acts like a dick about it, i too would break apart at this moment.

"please understand me"

now this is the line that inspired this post in the first place. he struggles with the connections he has with others but you can see how lonely this man is. like he has been told he is a burden, he interperets his life events and the way other people treat him as proof he is fundamentally unlovable and bad luck for anyone he gets close to, and he is a self-fulfilling prophecy about it.

when he asks sand to understand him he's asking sand to look deeper then his self-sabotoging and attachment issues and see the love and care he has that he struggles to understand and feel and express. he is filled with so much pain how could it not start to infect everyone around him, but from what we see of him, he probably never wanted to hurt other people in this way to begin with.

i think the reason this line specifically broke my heart is that, so much of his behavior at times can be interpreted as a subconscious cry for help, help he won't except but help he needs anyway. i knew any arc involving ray addressing his addiction would destroy me because there is the pain experiencing the things i mentioned above, the pain in thinking you're helpless to them, and then the pain in doing what it takes to try to move forward from them, like this shit is hard. the clarity ray is able to adress imaginary sand with is so incredible even though its in his head, especially given how stubborn he'd been about admitting any issues in the first place.

"being with me requires some patience"

all that i said above and more... i don't think ray will get over that feeling of being a burden any time soon if he ever does because it becomes so ingrained in your worldview and the way you interpret other people's behavior. i like the way this line is phrased (i know its a translation but still) because it alludes to him feeling that he is capable of being loved, it'll be hard but not impossible.

"but if you don't want to put up with me anymore, that's alright. i get you"

remember how i just said i think he now believes he's lovable... well actually i still mean it. he's been constantly told and shown how his behaviour and mentality are hard to deal with, like he thinks his existence is so burdensome it killed his own mother BUT he now knows sand is different. he won't blame sand for not wanting to deal with him, he's always been aware of his shortcomings but can now honestly address the effect his actions have on others, and at the same time he knows that its possible to care for him.

this is why i think sand is his motivation for going to rehab, he's shown ray what is possible for him in ways no one else before sand has.

"but please know this"

there is something so special about the impact sand has had on ray that i think goes beyond their relationship. sand made ray see the value in having a future, in being loved, in being happy. in episode 8 ray tells sand that he's finally happy when they spend time together, and it may seem like he's repeating it here but again this sand is imaginary. he's not saying this to get sand to answer his texts or hang out with him. he's imagining his reason for wanting to recover from addiction. like the weight this scene carries at least triples for me everytime i remember sand isn't really there. this was such a beautiful choice to make imo like ray saying these things to sand would probably be good for their relationship but it wouldn't have the same impact on ray's character arc.

my conclusion is once again don't know why i rambled on besides, ray as character was manufactured in a lab to drive me insane. like i've triggered my mood disorder twice over the course of watching this show but i wouldn't take it back for even a second. i love ray, i love what we've seen of his mentality and backstory, i love that we're seeing him making the decision to address his addiction, i go numb with the thought of where his arc will go next, but i especially love seeing everyone come together to scream about this character that means so much to me (not at all subtle reference to the fact i've read hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone by @jgyapologism what three? times now) anyway hope we all continue to scream about him this week. 🫡🫡

[channieskies]

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖁𝕴𝕴: 𝕬𝖈𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖞

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader, Jeong(Jung) Jaehyun x Reader (Fem/AFAB/Curvy/Plus sized)

Genre: Smut (eventual), Angst, Supernatural Romance, Urban Fantasy

AU: Supernatural AU, Vampire Au, Werewolf AU, Witch AU

Word count: 7966 [Reading time: 32 Minutes]

Networks: @neverendingdreams-net & @mirohs-aurora-society

Synopsis: Christopher and his pack head out to handle the ones responsible for everything that happened with Jeongin and Seungmin. Jaehyun shows you a bit more of his past.

He couldn’t hear or see anything. His mind fogged over by blind rage. His body was growing tired though, he didn’t know why. He could feel this warm stickiness coating his hands and face, but didn’t have the slightest clue as to what it was. He didn’t have any clarity until he felt the arms of his brothers around him. The sound of their cries filled his ears, pulling him out of his disorientation. The color started to come back to the room, it was then that he was able to see what he had done.

CHAPTER INDEX

A.N: Please reblog and leave a comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. Special thanks to @palindrome969 for beta reading this for me. I could never thank you enough. Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Disclaimer: This story does not reflect the real lives or personalities of Stray Kids or NCT. I do not know them personally. This is purely a work of fiction.

Warnings: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost here or on other sites. This chapter contains use of explicit language.

All piled into Chris’s truck, the boys ventured into the bayou in search of Vaiden’s hideout. The trees were tall and thick with hanging moss, the roads were almost nonexistent in this part, too far to the left or right and his truck would be in the swampy water. There was an eerie fog that draped the surroundings, choking the  base of the trees. His headlight barely cut through the dense vapor. He understood why Vaiden picked this location, it was easy to keep unwanted people out. But, if he could infringe on Chris’s turf and fuck with his people, then the same could be done contrariwise. The atmosphere both in and out of the truck was tense. No one had said a thing since they left the house. Chris chewed on his lip, he wanted to call you, to ask you to be on standby for them. But what could he say to you right now? He was sure you hated his guts at the current moment. Even if you had a duty to perform, you would probably keep it at that and ignore his existence while doing so. He desperately needed to get you out of his mind. He had a task at hand, one that was life or death. One that might put his pack in jeopardy. He couldn’t risk that, no matter how much he regretted upsetting you.

“Hyung, kill the lights.” Minho spoke, bringing him out of his thoughts. He quickly killed the lights, pulling up on the cabin on the water. He parked his dark truck near a bunch of foliage, hoping it would mostly blend in.

“If it gets overwhelming, I want you to run to safety.”

“Hyung what the hell are you even saying?” Changbin griped.

“I just don’t want anything to happen to you guys.” His words were met with groans from his pack. He sighed. “Fine. This is our fight, and we fight to win. Stay in pairs and don’t let them separate you no matter what. What they have in numbers we have in strength and skill. Let’s go get them.” He managed to get it together, putting spirit into his pep talk. He could hear his heart beating fast in his ears, he was nervous. But the feeling wasn’t for him, it was for his brothers. Things started to move quickly as they snuck up onto the porch, some going around the side, while he, Changbin, Felix, and Hyunjin went in from the front. Chris kicked the door down and everything picked up from there. Fists were flying towards him at a fast pace, but he was quicker, much quicker. He had one objective, to find Vaiden and end his tyranny. 

He was amazed he could still think straight with the anger that was fueling his actions at the current moment. Room to room, he was going in looking for one person and that person only. He didn’t attack anyone who didn’t charge for him or his pack first. When Felix got pinned under a guy twice his size, Chris was there to pull him off, clocking the man in his jaw and knocking him out. “Hyung, take Bin-hyung and go, we can handle this.”Hyunjin yelled as he ran over to help Felix up. Chris looked at Felix for confirmation, Felix gave him a small nod before blocking a punch from a guy that came running in. This place wasn’t that big, Vaiden had to be somewhere around here. Chris grabbed Bin and then moved on. They passed a kitchen, dining hall, and a recreation area, but there was no sign of Vaiden anywhere. They got to the back stairs and as soon as they looked to the top of them, there he stood in all of his six foot glory.  Chris clenched his jaw, ready for whatever came next. 

“Well would you look at that. I guess my message wasn’t that well received.” Vaiden spoke with a gravelly tone, voice deep like it came from deep within his chest. “Maybe I should have killed one of them instead.” He cackled maniacally, tilted back. Chris’s blood began to boil at his antagonizing words. “Wonder what your face would look like then.” He almost didn’t get all the words out before Chris was up the stairs. 

“It’s a trap! Hyung!” Changbin called after him, but his words fell on deaf ears. All Chris saw was his enemy drenched in red. As soon as his foot landed on the last step, Vaidens leg was up, aiming center mass on Chris. With all his might, he kicked the boy, sending him flying back down the stairs. Changbin braced himself to catch his leader, taking most of the damage as they tumbled down the steps to the bottom. Both men groaned, hurt from the impact. “You can’t take him on by yourself.” Changbin pushed Chris off of him, but still reached his hand out to help the older male up. “Together.” Chris nodded, agreeing to the idea. They both bolted up the stairs, “High!” Changbin communicated with his leader telepathically. Chris went high and Changbin low, successfully tackling the tall, bulky man to the ground. A brawl ensued. Vaiden’s men came out of the woodworks, all of them trying to get in on the action. It was six on two, but Chris and Changbin were holding their own. 

“Can’t handle a bit of friendly competition huh, Chris? Just like you couldn’t handle me getting with your little human whore before you could huh? What was her name again?” His busted lip curled into a sick smile. “Ahh right. Y/n. Such a sweet name for such a sweet fucking cunt. I wonder if she could have taken all the dick I was going to give her like the good little slut she is.” He cackled, throwing wild punches in Chris’ direction. “I heard her sweet little cunt likes to be breed. I wonder if she can handle my pups.” He smirked. He knew he was getting under Chris’s skin by bringing you up. Chris saw red, every bit of his anger consumed him. With the loudest growl he’d ever done, he pounced. Scratching, clawing, pummeling, kicking, he turned Vaiden every which way but loose. He was so engrossed in ending Vaiden’s speech that he didn’t notice the rest of the guys coming up the stairs. He didn’t notice them yelling for him to stop, that Vaiden had had enough. He didn’t even budge when his strongest pack mates tried to pull him off of the man that was pinned under him. He just wanted the man to shut up for once and for all. He had hurt too many people close to him and he was honestly just tired of it all. Tired of the fights. Tired of having a target on his back. What was it all for? Territory? To be the alpha-ist alpha of them all? Bullshit. He didn’t want that. All Chris wanted was for his family, both chosen and biological, to be happy, healthy, and most of all, safe. 

He couldn’t hear or see anything. His mind fogged over by blind rage. His body was growing tired though, he didn’t know why. He could feel this warm stickiness coating his hands and face, but didn’t have the slightest clue as to what it was. He didn’t have any clarity until he felt the arms of his brothers around him. The sound of their cries filled his ears, pulling him out of his disorientation. The color started to come back to the room, it was then that he was able to see what he had done. Vaiden was laying in the middle of the floor, bruised, bloodied, and battered. Coughing and sputtering blood. He was unrecognizable. “Oh… no… what have I done?” Chris started to freak out, moving his hands to his face only to realize they were covered in the blood of his enemy. He wanted to scream, to cry out. But no sound would come out. What had he become? Minho grabbed him by his shoulders. 

“You are a leader, we need you to lead us. What do we do? What do you want us to do?” Chris blinked at him, gathering all of his strength to not break down right then and there. “Hyung! We need you to tell us what you need!” He shook him hard, successfully snapping the alpha right back into his senses.

“Gather the severely injured. We have to get them some help.”

His intentions were pure. He just wanted you to see what he saw when he first laid eyes on you. How you were the exact replica of the woman he loved so dearly. The woman who had his heart, even after her death, even after they parted ways. She was his everything, in both this life and his last. He was there when she took her last breaths, a doctor then just like he is now, lending his expertise, because it seemed that no amount of money could find her comfort or a cure. He was there when she said goodbye to her husband and daughter. There when she spared him one last look as the light drained from her eyes. It was right then and there that he swore that’d be the last time he would let his heart be broken. He didn’t care how many times the love of his life was reincarnated, he couldn’t deal with watching her fade away again. But here you were, standing in the ballroom of one of his homes, the one he shared with her. Where he spent his time loving and cherishing her. Standing in the exact spot they used to dance by the fire every date night. The very spot they had made love countless times. It was right here by this fireplace that she said her goodbyes to him. Saying that the two of them could never be. Right here in this spot is where she handed him his dead heart back after draining it of its last shred of humanity.

“What the actual fuck?” Your jaw dropped, and he was sure if it hadn’t hinged to your skull it would have fallen off. “Why- Why the fuck does she look like me?” He could hear your heartbeat quickening, your thoughts running a mile a minute. Grateful that he was able to hear them at this moment, because you were otherwise rendered speechless. 

“Reincarnation, is my guess.” He shrugged, hands deep in his pockets as he looked up at the photo as well. “Before she was reincarnated in spirit, but not likeness. Now, it’s likeness and not spirit, I guess you can say. You look like her, but you don’t act like either of them. Which- don’t take this the wrong way- makes things a little spicier? For lack of a better word.” He nodded. “You are sarcastic and cynical, even if most of it takes place in your mind. It just shows that you are a product of the times. But you are also a lot like your mother, even if you don’t realize it. Kind and compassionate. Who walks around the childrens ward of a hospital with a stranger's cat on a leash, just because her mother told her to?” You rolled your eyes, did he need to remind you of the first time you met? You were still trying to burn that memory from your brain.

“Someone who didn’t want to face the wrath of that woman, you do know she's a witch, right?” You pointed out in jest, “I mean all of that is well and good, but I’m really starting to judge your taste in women. Two had the same personality and two had the same face.” You quirked a brow, “Can’t tell me that isn’t a little weird. Reincarnation or not. If it didn’t work the first two times, you’d think you’d try something different, no?”

He chuckled, taking a few steps towards you, “I have a taste for the.. Finer things in life. Every part of her was the finést I’d ever had. Face to taste.” His words sunk into you as he passed by you, his arm brushing against yours ever so slightly. The contact sending your mind into one of those God forsaken flashbacks. 

It was in this very room. The fireplace had a roaring fire going, illuminating only part of the room. There was a storm brewing outside of the large picturesque windows, little flashes of lighting striking every once in a while. Unlike the burning flame, there was something that filled the room, constant moans. They bounced off the walls, leaving haunting echoes behind. A chair from the corner had been pulled hearthside for warmth. Her legs were spread wide and thrown over each armrest, her fingers in the tousled hair of the man between her legs. He stared up at her with passion in his eyes, dragging his fangs over the inside of her thigh, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps. “I need to taste you, my love.” She tried to move his face closer to her heat, but he didn’t budge. He was in control, even if she didn't want him to be. She let out a whine, poking out her bottom lip, begging without using a word. “Patience, beautiful. It’s a virtue, remember?”

He used his fingers to spread her lower lips, taking a tentative lick before diving in head first. The sensation had her throwing her head back in ecstasy. His tongue worked her in wonderful ways as his eyes stayed locked on hers. Swirls and flicks, countered by him fully wrapping his lips around her bud sucking on it gently. Long fingers teased her entrance before dipping in, just to be pulled out to tease again. He was playing with his food and she wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t enjoy it. “Please my beloved…” He smirked against her, settling on having teased her enough. He sunk his index and middle finger into her wetness, not meeting much resistance. He loved when she was this wet, it always delighted his senses. The sound, the smell, the feeling of it, all just drove him wild. Her eyes rolled back as his long fingers brushed against the spongy part inside of her. He knew her body better than she knew it herself. Her walls clenched around his fingers, making him groan. He couldn’t wait to fill her up like he knew she wanted. He needed her to squeeze him like she was doing his fingers right now. Needed to feel her warmth and wetness tightly wrapped around him. He needed her…

“Oh fuck off!” You pulled away from him having seen enough. He smirked, knowing exactly what x-rated scenes just played in your mind. “There is something wrong with you, you know that?” He shrugged, his smile still lingering on his lips. You crossed your arms over your chest defensively, just to let them drop to your side seconds later.

“Love how you’ve said everything but ‘I hated that.’ It's very telling.” You scoffed as he laughed, “Just admit it, you enjoyed it. You got your own little pornographic point of view of how I enjoy my meals, deliciously.” He reached out, gently grabbing your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of yours. “Remember I can hear your thoughts, Y/n.” You could feel the warmth creep to your face as he spoke. You were once again trapped in his bubble, far too close to this man for it to be considered friendly. His free hand reached up and caressed your jaw then moved to your cheek. “You are beautiful, did you know that?” You honestly couldn’t tell what type of spell this man had cast on you, but it was almost like you needed to be this close to him.

Your body was doing whatever the hell he commanded it to do, letting him invade your personal space. But good thing you still had control of your mind. “You dare say that in front of the portrait of the woman you loved? It's kind of convenient isn’t it? Saying I’m beautiful when I look an awful lot like her.” He smiled, thumb halting its movement.

His thumb moved from your cheek to trace over your lips, the simple action sending shivers through your body. “Maybe I just have a type.” He tugged your bottom lip down with his thumb, making you gasp. “Nothing wrong with that, right?” It felt like your heart was beating in your throat. What was this alluring aura he seemed to produce? What was with him always pulling you in without even trying? Was it his Jedi like vampire mind tricks? He laughed, “Ever consider that maybe you just want to be close to me? I don’t use my powers on unsuspecting people, darling, it’s impolite. I am a gentleman afterall.” Was that what it was? Did you just have this constant need to be close to this man? He was attractive, yes. But he most definitely wasn’t your normal type. You usually wouldn't consider anyone this pretty. The last time you did the guy slept with your highschool bestfriend in the bathroom during fourth period. But if you thought about it, taking away the fact that he was pretty, being ain’t shit was usually the common denominator between all of your exes. Maybe it was time for a change. You could try something different for once.

“Ah, so you like fuck boys.” He chuckled, there just seemed to be a constant smile on his face whenever you were around. “Baby,” He cooed, “You deserve better.” The way he uttered the word baby nearly made your knees weak. His thumb was still stroking your bottom lip, like he was prepping it for an open mouth kiss or to sink his thumb right in your mouth. Either option made you a little moist. Especially after that glimpse into his.. Mating rituals. 

“Are you saying I deserve someone like you?” The words came out as a whisper, like you didn’t want to get your hopes up. You looked back at the portrait, tearing your eyes away from him briefly. They looked so in love in that portrait. Even though it looked like it was from forever ago, the artist seemed to capture the pure unadulterated affection in their eyes. You looked back at him, his eyes looking at you keenly. He grabbed your other hand, both now interlocked with his own.

“No. Even better than me, or that stupid hair-brained pup that made you cry. You deserve to be loved wholly and unconditionally. Because even if I’ve only known you a few days, I can tell that you put your heart into love and you often don’t receive it back. How is that fair? Is the world so unjust that it just tosses a beautiful woman like you around with no regard? It can’t be. You deserve the best and if not that, then someone who will strive to be the best for you. You deserve a tender kind of love that warms you from the inside out. One that you never have to question, because the answer is always there. You are constantly being reminded that you are the love of their life and nothing will change that.” Emotions swelled in your throat. No one had ever told you that you deserved to be loved, especially not like that. You’d been told that you shouldn’t just take anything a man gives you, because you deserved better than that. But never that you deserved to be loved wholly and unconditionally.

“So, don’t settle for less, just because you don’t think you deserve better. You do. You deserve the world.” He lifted one of your hands and kissed the back of it. “Don’t settle for someone who will make you cry either, you do not deserve that.” He pressed another kiss in the same spot.

“Thank you.” You didn’t fully believe it yourself. But it did make you feel good to hear it. Maybe you would one day find that person that loved you like that, but you weren’t going to hold out hope.

“Now, how long has it been since you’ve eaten anything? I feel like I’m constantly asking you this question.” You pulled your hands away from his and touched your stomach. It had been more than a couple hours since you had any sustenance. You were probably way overdue for a meal.

“There is this late night burger place that I heard has some good food. Let me take you there.” A greasy burger sounded delightful, especially this late at night. You agreed with no hesitation, nodding your head. He chuckled at your enthusiasm, and nodded towards the hallway for you to follow him.

When he said burgers, you didn’t think he meant the most famous burgers in town. You hadn’t been in town long enough to know that they had extended hours now. It was a completely different demographic hanging around the last time you were here. Drunk from the club, needed some fatty grease to soak up some of that alcohol. That partially sounded like something you’d be down for, minus the while ‘out at the club’ part of it. Jaehyun had been telling you stories of his life here in New Orleans since you’d left his house- well- his other house. “I’ve learned not to rely on humans for sustenance, people are fickle. I’ve been living this way since the 70’s. I have a deal with a farmer, one where I pay him handsomely for discretion and for the parts I need.” You were grossed out by his confession, he needed to eat just like you did. You couldn’t blame him for how he did it, just as long as it wasn’t forcibly taken from humans.

You swallowed the thick bite of your double burger with cheese before speaking, “Okay, so I’m curious… are there any underground clubs where people offer themselves to be.. Feed off?” You whispered as best you could. It wasn’t like anyone was really paying attention to the both of you.

He chuckled, “Yeah, there are places like that. Some people are more than willing, but I’ve seen that go awry too many times for me to participate. When I lived in eastern Europe, I frequented a place like that.” He sighed, leaning in across the red grate table, he didn’t want anyone accidentally overhearing him. “I watched this vampire drain this young kid dry and I haven’t been back to a place like that. They aren’t regulated, so anything can happen in a place like that. Even if the person knows what can possibly happen to them, it doesn't mean that it should happen.” You almost felt bad for eating in front of a man who probably hadn’t had a decent meal in ages. Almost.

“So the last time you.. You know… was in the 70’s?” He nodded and took a fry off your plate, pretending to eat it. Your guess was that it was a show for anyone watching and wondering why you were stuffing your face and he was just sitting there looking. You hummed, wiping your face after taking your last bite. “Okay, I have another question.”

“Shoot.” He nodded for you to continue.

“How do you do that warm hand thing?” Everytime he touched you, his hand felt warm. He had been dead for over four hundred years, he shouldn’t have felt warm at all. 

“Ah- it’s a trick I learned from another doctor.” He extended his hand for you to take, you looked at it funny before taking his hand. “Feel how cold it is now?” You nodded. His hand felt like the meat you’d leave in the freezer that your mom told you to take out after school. Frozen. “And now…” You felt his hand rapidly warm up to a normal feeling of incalescence. The difference in temperature was alarming to you because of you feeling the difference, anyone else would assume he was just a normal guy. “I wouldn’t want to deal with kids and ice cold hands, I’m sure that would make an unpleasant situation even worse for them.” That was actually commendable. He did it to make the kids comfortable.

“That's actually really sweet.” You smiled at him, noticing how he’d been staring at you. You cleared your throat. “So what made you go into pediatric medicine?” He heaved a heavy sigh, finally looking away from you and out towards the waxing moon.

“It’s hard to watch people you love struggle with losing a child.” He swallowed hard, “Even if the child isn’t yours, to see the joy they had snuffed out of them because of that loss? It’s heartbreaking for anyone. So, I went into pediatric medicine to help save lives, at least to the best of my ability. I wanted to prevent these parents from losing their joy.”

“So, I take it you witnessed someone you loved lose their child?” He sighed and nodded.

“The woman in the portrait. She had a son first.” He looked down at his fingers, tearing his eye away from you, “He lived to the age of six and that nearly broke her.” He cleared his throat after it broke at the end of his sentence. “Let's talk about you, huh?” He forced a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Whats with you and this fuck boy obsession you have?” You scoffed.

You would hardly call it an obsession. “Obsession?” You huffed, “Why are you even asking me that?” His lips curled into a genuine smile, his deep dimples on full display.

“Because I’m trying to see how I should approach you. Should I come to you as the good doctor, or pull on my four hundred years of fuck boy knowledge.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Who says I’m even single? Or that I would consider you at all?” His smile morphed into a smirk.

He leaned forward like he was interested in the conversation being had. He rested his chin on his folded hands, elbows propped up on the grated tabletop.“You love to forget I can read your mind, don’t you? I know what you think of me. Plus, if you were that upset that that mutt didn’t finish what he started, you have to be single. Your dreams of what you want done to you after the fact ... I'd hope you wouldn’t think such naughty thoughts when you have a man waiting for you in the sleepy little town you stayed in.” He raised a brow. “There is no way you are a cheater, not when you’ve been cheated on. So, what's the truth, beautiful? Just admit you are into me too, then we can move forward.” He reached for your hand, grabbing it gently. You were so busy trying to empty your head of any thoughts that you just let him do it. You knew you couldn’t let him hear the lewd thoughts that were starting to cloud your mind. Especially after seeing that flashback of how he indulged himself in his lover.

“See, you’re thinking about me right now.” He pushed his fingers through his thick dark hair. “And it’s not anything decent, either. Tsk tsk tsk. Naughty girl-”He paused, noticing how your body tensed and eyes widened. He followed your eyes and they landed on the mutt you called your friend. He let out an exasperated sigh. Of course he found out where you were, he had been scenting you after all. “We can leave if you don’t want to talk to him.” He spoke softly, knowing that if the mutt wanted to hear he could still hear.

“Something is… wrong.” You frowned. You gave Jaehyun an apologetic smile, “I have to see what’s up.” You gathered your things, “Thanks so much for tonight. You know, this is the second time you’ve come to my rescue?” You tossed your trash in a nearby bin. “Thanks again, Jaehyun.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll see you around, okay?” 

He shook his head. A billion thoughts were swirling in his head. He really was beginning to hate this guy. “I’ll walk you over there.” The look on your face shifted into panic. “It will be fine. I promise to be nice, it’s him you have to worry about.” He stood, his hand immediately moving to the small of your back, ushering you forward. Thankfully it was late and there weren't too many cars to worry about as you crossed the street. He could hear your thoughts of worry and honestly it was a little overwhelming. He rubbed soothing  circles into your back, helping to sooth the worry just a bit.

Chris stood across the street like a brick wall, anger written all over his face. You could tell he was ticked off, just how he was clicking his jaw. “Where is your phone?” He spoke as you got closer to him. It was harsh but low, like he was fed up.

“It broke the other night. I-I haven’t gotten a new one yet.” Jaehyung rolled his eyes, hearing how you stuttered. You didn’t owe him or anyone else an apology. If you wanted to go out, you could do so and with whomever you pleased.

“We need you back at the house.” He finally acknowledged Jaehyun’s presence. “Only you.” He eyed him up and down, eyed dripping with contempt. You looked up at Jaehyun and gave him a smile and a nod, letting him know that you were fine. But that didn’t mean he wanted to let you go. Your night was just getting started when your mutt decided to ruin it. 

“I’ll get a new phone tomorrow and get your number from my mom, okay?” Jaehyun ripped his eyes from your wolf friend to let them settle on you. You were stunning under the moonlight, he’d been with you all night, how was he just noticing this? His eyes softened.

“Be safe.” He leaned in and kissed your cheek this time, letting his lips linger there for longer than Chris liked.

“We need to go, Y/n.” Chris spoke, that stern tone returning. You sighed and nodded, following him to his truck. You turned and waved to Jaehyun one more time as you got into the passenger side.

Anger was radiating through him. So the reason you weren’t at the house was because you were out with that blood sucker? As soon as he got close enough to your location, he could hear the way that man was lying it on thick. It made his stomach turn. It was obvious to him what his motives were, Chris knew that type of man. He was the type you always fell for. The type to get you in bed and entertain your thoughts of a relationship for a while, just to inevitably break your heart. He was not going to sit around and watch a fucking vamp ruin the woman he loved. 

“Y/n…” The car had been silent since he had pulled out of the parking lot of the burger joint. Usually when the two of you partook in a late night drive, when you weren’t chatting about any and everything, you were steeped in a comfortable silence. This late night drive was everything but that. He could cut the tension with a butterknife. You didn’t even bother looking his way when he called your name, you kept your eyes on the passing scenery outside of the window. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. H-he’s the type that will hurt you…” He trailed off, hoping you wouldn’t take his words the wrong way.

“Christopher, I sincerely hope you aren’t trying to tell me to stay away from him.” You finally looked his way, and honestly he wished you hadn’t. You’d never looked at him like that before. Like he was the enemy. “Because if you are, just know, I won’t. It's my choice as to whom I spend my time with. Just because you don’t like him, doesn’t mean I share the same feelings.” It was like you took a razor to his heart. Chris didn’t want you around Jaehyun, but that was to protect you, not to hurt some insignificant fanged freak. He couldn’t care less about that blood sucker and his feelings. You were the only one in this situation that he cared for. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Chris.”

He sighed. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get through to you, not while you were mad at him. If he hadn't upset you earlier, you probably wouldn’t have gone on a date with one of his enemies. No, you would have been at the house, waiting for his return. This was his fault and he took the blame for it. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, Y/n. I’m warning you.” His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “You do this all the time. You just go from one bad man to the next, not thinking of yourself as you do it. And every time you end up with your heart broken. I just… I just want you to be happy for once.” Happy with me, in my arms. He finished the rest in his head. There was this feeling deep inside his mind that if he told you how he felt in this moment, you wouldn’t believe him. That you would think that he was just saying that to deter you from dating another guy he didn’t like. While both things could be true at the same time, the primary reason would have been because he was deeply and madly in love with you. He’d always been.

“You just want me happy for once?” You laughed but it was completely devoid of any humor. “You don’t get to choose what will and won’t make me happy. You have no say in the matter. You haven’t even talked to the man, you are just angry at what ‘his kind’ has done. Maybe you should be concerned about what you’ve done. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the blood under your nails or the bits of it splattered over your skin. Should I even ask why you were looking for me this late at night?” You had crossed your arms over your chest. He chewed on his lip, trying to stay focused on driving. It was taking everything in him not to pull his truck over and pull you into a hug. He didn’t like to argue with you, nor did he want to at this moment. But he felt strongly about you setting yourself up again for another heartbreak.

“We.. found the guys who hurt Jeongin and Seungmin.” He swallowed so hard the sound settled in your ears in the passenger seat. “It was Vaiden.” He kept it short and sweet, waiting for your reaction.

“How the fuck is Vaiden back in the picture? He’s the one who attacked our boys?” He could see your fist ball up, you disliked Vaiden almost as much as Chris did. He didn’t acknowledge it, but it wasn’t missed by him how you referred to the kids. He loved that you loved them almost as fiercely as he did, despite only knowing them for a week. But he guessed that trauma bonding might be the quickest way to bond, you definitely received just as much trauma as the rest of them that night. “That fucking ass hat. I hope he got what he deserved, that cunt. He nearly killed Jeongin and I will never forgive him for that.” He pulled up in front of your moms house, but didn’t make a move to get out. 

He pulled the keys out of the ignition, fiddling with the little koala keychain on it that you’d given him years ago. “Y/n, you know I love you, right?” You were in the middle of taking your seatbelt off when he addressed you. You nodded, “No, I don’t think you understand.” He sighed. “My love for you knows no bounds. I love you more than anything on this earth. But I feel like you are the sun and I’m the moon. We share the same sky sometimes, but we rarely cross paths. It always seems like you are in one spot in your life while I'm in another. Like I’m always chasing the warmth of the sun, just to be alone in the cold of night.” He didn’t dare look up, he couldn’t look at you right now. Because if you showed no emotion to his words, that might kill him. “I’m in love with you. I-I have been since that day I saw you in the quad.” He smiled to himself. He could tell you everything about the way you looked, to the way you smelled, and even the words you’d said to him in the afternoon. He was completely taken by you from the moment he saw your face.

“Why now?” You asked just above a whisper. He looked up from his lap to you. There was sadness in your eyes, an unspeakable amount.

“It’s that I just-” He was cut off by a tap on his window. Minho nodded towards the house when Chris looked up.

“I need to help the people in need.” You didn’t spare him another look as you hopped out and followed Minho into the house. Chris continued to sit in the car, going over all he’d done wrong in the last twenty-four hours, especially the mistake of confessing his long time feelings for his best friend.

You were shaking. But it wasn’t from the massive amount of blood that they boys had tracked into your home. Nor was it from the large open wounds on Vaidens face that made him unrecognizable. No, it was from the car confession your best friend had just given you. He was in love with you? All of a sudden? He had the audacity to tell you not to date bad guys, but who was worse than he was at this point? It was like he was going out of his way to disappoint you. Did he think that his random confession would stop you from hanging around Jaehyun? You were beginning to question his motives for telling you all of that. Was it really because he was in love, or was it because he didn’t want you to end up with werewolf kind’s mortal enemy? Either way, it was awfully convenient, his timing. He’d left you hanging earlier today, without even the smallest explanation. Just that he didn’t want to do anything he’d regret, and now he’s telling you he loved you. 

You shook your head as you got the supplies to take care of Vaiden’s wounds. He really had the shit beat out of him this time. Good. Jeongin and Seungmin were innocent in whatever turf war was happening between Chris and Vaiden. But you hoped that whatever happened tonight ended it for once and for all. You’d hate to see your boys hurt again. That whole Jeongin incident was traumatizing enough. Hopefully Vaiden had learned his lesson to not mess with Chris’s people again. When you walked from the hidden hall apothecary and back into the dinning room, you immediately felt uncomfortable. There were a few of Vaiden’s guys hanging around, giving you the side eyes as if you were a part of this beef. While the boys stood around, ceasing their conversations as soon as you walked in. “Whatever the fuck you have to say, just say it. I’m not in the mood to be stared at and talked about in my own damn house. So, get whatever it is off your chest before I kick you all out.”

Someone sighed, you recognized the sound, it was Changbin. “Are you..” He looked around at the rest of the room to see if they were wondering the same thing as him, “Are you really dating a vampire?”

It felt a strange sensation in your stomach, something akin to butterflies, but not that at the same time. “I’m not dating anyone.” You said matter-of-factly. “That includes your leader.” You shook your head. Minho pushed himself off the wall, arms still crossed over his chest as if he didn’t believe you.

“You smell an awful lot like you’ve been hanging around a vampire. Disgustingly so. Like the two of you were very close for a significant amount of time. If I can smell it, I know Chris-hyung can.” What was this? An interrogation? You huffed, putting down the saline solution you were using to clean Vaiden’s wounds. 

“And? So what if you can smell a vampire on me? The fuck does that have to do with any of you?” You were slowly edging towards meeting the top of your fed up barometer. “My love life has absolute shit to do with any of you.” You could feel the seering judgment from every man in the room and you hated it. There were men in you who didn’t know you from Adam and they still decided to cast judgment on you. “When I finish patching this piece-of-shit  up, you all, and I mean all of you, can kindly fuck off.” The room became deadly silent, none of them bothered to speak after that. 

Vaiden had large cuts and gashes on his face, neck and chest, almost like he’d been clawed at. Like he was almost ripped to shreds. Who could do this? Your mind drifted to the blood splatter all over Chris when he came to get you. A chill went down your spin. How angry was he to be capable of this? There had been a change in him since you’d come back and you can’t say you liked it. Maybe your mom was right, maybe his changing was because of your departure from his life. Maybe he did have feelings for you like he said and all of these personality changes were in part because of that. “Fuck… it looks like an animal did this.” You spoke under your breath, forgetting how all the people in the room had enhanced hearing.

“An animal did do that… we are wolves, Noona.” Jeongin spoke up from the corner. “Hy-hyung was enraged. I’ve never seen him that upset.”

“It didn’t help that Vaiden decided to bring your name into things. Something snapped in him when he called you…”Hyunjin looked at you with worried eyes, afraid to continue what he was saying.

“You started, you might as well finish.” You shrugged, forcing the salve you made into Vaiden’s slowly healing wounds. Just because you had to heal him, didn’t mean you had to be gentle about it. If it wasn’t for the stupid curse, you would have let him bleed out on your dining room table.

“He uhm-” Hyunjin was still unsure if he should continue, so Seungmin stepped in.

“He called you hyung’s human whore. And said that you liked being bred and he wondered if you could handle his pups.” He kept his face neutral as he spoke, but his red ears gave away his emotional state of mind. He was embarrassed, maybe even a little disgusted by the words that he had to relay.

You hummed, still pressing the salve into his wounds harshly. “He’s said worse to me.” You shrugged it off. This wasn’t your first run in with the foul creature known as Vaiden. He tried to get you drunk and have his way with you at a college party. If it wasn’t for Chris, you don’t know what might have happened. “He told me I should be glad he was even looking my way. That no one in their right mind would want to sleep with someone like me. He got a little handsy then he forced a kiss on me. I-” You sighed, “I just kept praying over and over that someone would save me.” You smiled sadly, hands faltering. “Someone did. Chris came and pulled this flaming sack of shit off of me. That was my first time ever seeing him get mad. No one could pull him off of him, they fought in the middle of the middle of the Greek row cul de sac.” You went back to working on the unconscious man. “So it’s kind of understandable how he ended up in this state. They were once physical equals, but not anymore.” You placed gauze and tape over the exposed areas and nodded to his men. “Get him out of my sight.” You wiped your hands on a hand towel. “Next time he gets hurt, find someone else to fix him up, I’d rather burn into a pile of ash than to help your bitch ass alpha.” They nodded, seeming to understand your feelings. Both of them hurling apologies your way.

You took a minute to clean up all the blood and waste around your living room. Chris’s pack members were ever so kind to help, Minho even took the trash to the back alleyway. You were in the middle of bleaching down the table when Changbin quietly approached you. He stood there appraising you before you finally got a little fed up with him staring. “What is it Binnie?” He smiled, glad you were utilizing the nickname he told you to use the last time they were here.

“Minho-hyung says he overheard Chris-hyung confessing to you.” You didn’t respond, it wasn’t like he was asking you a question, he was trying to confirm things for himself. “I know Chris-hyung is hard to read a lot of the time, he puts a very convincing front when it comes to most things.” He picked up a rag and started cleaning with you. “Most things… that don’t involve you.” You froze, but quickly resumed what you were doing. “Did you know… that while you lived out of town, he’d visit to check up on you?” You swallowed hard, trying to process the information he was telling you without letting him know it was getting to you. “He even tried to visit your place a handful of times, but you were never there, your boyfriend on the other hand, was. Seeing that your stance looks a little on edge, I take it that he never told you that.” He nodded, “Understandable. You and Hyung’s bond is….. Special.” He looked at you like he wanted you to take whatever bate he had set up. “I think you might be his mate.” 

You slammed your fist down on the table. “Enough, Changbin. I don’t want to hear about Chris right now. I’m definitely not in the mood to hear about me being his mate.” You rolled your eyes so hard they could have fallen out the socket. “Can you just go, please? I need space. From all of this.” He nodded, giving you an apologetic smile. 

“I’m sorry if I upset you, Y/n. But just know, I’d never lie to you.” He hugged you, but you didn't reciprocate the action, you just stood there with your hands at your sides. You waited until all of the boys left the house to collapse. It felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders and you were slowly sinking into the earth.

“My love for you knows no bounds. I love you more than anything on this earth…..” His words kept echoing in your head. You leaned against the wall, pulling your legs to your chest. You loved him too, more than anything. But you wondered if it was in the same way he loved you.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER⇠☾⇢NEXT CHAPTER

© ✐Channieskies 『MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost here or on other sites. Please leave a like , comment, and reblog if you enjoyed this story.♥』

[niuniente]

Hi! I've been meaning to draft up a message to you about Death Head's Deal for a while now, but it never really felt like the right moment. Because I enjoyed it so much, I wanted my review of DHD to be really thorough--and so I was put off of saying anything until I had the time to re-read the whole comic again. But when you posted that you didn't realize you had an audience, I realized that my desire to be thorough had done the opposite of what my original intention was, which was just to express my appreciation for your art. Not saying anything was definitely worse than saying something less elaborate than what I hoped for. Well, luckily I have the power to change that!

Death Head's Deal captured my interest from the very first issue, so much so that I remember reading it during my shifts at the anarchist bookstore and while taking baths at home because I didn't want to put it down (my poor laptop...). The worldbuilding is so thorough and intriguing, the aesthetics are top-notch (the real-life photos add a fun dimension to the art--it reminds me a lot of a book I read as a kid that incorporated vintage photographs into the plot), and Alrick is just such an incredible sweetie that I can't help wanting to give him a hug even though I generally don't like touching people. Before I was even done reading the whole comic I had already told 3 people to start reading it. My twin brother and I had a few phone calls where we just discussed the plot together. Our favorite characters are Alrick and Grimm.

I still plan to review the comic in more detail sometime, but for now, I hope you get the picture that I really love DHD and I'd love to see it gain a bigger following.

Sincerely, your fan DJ

Thank you so much for taking your time to tell me this! I have gotten nice messages later and I'm not going to lie, it has boosted my inspiration and desire to draw DHD. Because I know there are people reading and interacting with the series. They wish to read more. They wish to have more time with these characters in this world. That's what I also want to provide but I felt like there really wasn't that many people out there. Or that people had already gotten bored. I used to get tens of asks and comments after every update to my inbox here and now, I'm lucky if I even get 1. So, like from 40 asks to 0 made me feel like "Oh. They're not interested any more. They don't want to read more".

To know that the series and the characters exist out there in wild outside of my comic - like in the phone call with your brother - is absolutely WILD! I'm only a small person making a small indie comic. Of course people are going to speak something big outside its frames, like LOTR or Star Wars, but my little thing? I'm super happy!

My wish is that DHD (or some other series in the future after DHD) would grow up big so that it can reach out many people. I wish that the world and the characters would inspire and most importantly COMFORT as many people as possible. I have received so much from existing series and characters, so I wish that I could offer the same to someone else.

I'm looking for your long feedback later, when you're ready, but THANK YOU SO MUCH for telling me already! It has boosted me and made me feel more like it is worth to draw the comic, people will be delighted from it.

[austinslounge]

I honestly tried to like Kaia, I truly did, but I can’t stand this shit anymore. Her desperate attempts to be popular, seem interesting and ”deep” are driving me insane at this point. I know it’s probably not her fault, but her parents’, they made her this cringy attention-seeker after all. I can’t understand what Austin sees in her other than her family’s connections or just a plain PR agreement. She has no personality, she always tries to gain popularity by copying her mother(or people she’s dating). It’s funny how she doesn’t even look that much like Cindy, sure, she’s beautiful, but Presley literally stole Cindy’s face. Her attempts to seem intelligent are also miserable. I’ve never seen any of her book club readings, because for me, most of her book recommendations are just airplane reads, but I’ve seen many people say that even when she’s talking about books, it seems scripted and staged. Like someone just gave her a summary and she retells what happened in the book, that’s it. I mean, what intelligence? She never even bothered to take basic acting classes. Her comments about nepotism speak volumes too. During the pandemic she bragged about having dinner reservations and partying with her friends. Her merch is awful. With all her money and resources, she could have made some really good stuff, but why would she?Her small insane fan base will pay 50$ for an ugly white shirt with a caption either way. She’s desperately clinging to anyone who can give her even the smallest amount of fame, her following people and then unfollowing them if they don’t follow back. The way she was clinging to Austin hardcore in July, dragging him away from his fans, when he wanted to interact with them. Her stupid cake for his birthday. Don’t even get me started on how she makes out with her female friends constantly or throws herself on her male costars or short SNL guys. I don’t know why I feel so annoyed and disgusted by her all the time. I swear, this girl spoils my excitement for Austin and his work every fucking time. Nepotism is not always a bad thing, there are talented nepo babies, but she’s like the epitome of everything I hate about nepotism. I don’t know how she can rub shoulders with people who actually have talent, get invited to all these awards and red carpets. Kaia had plenty of time to prove that she’s worth something, she’s been in the industry since she was a child, but no. Why would she prove anything? Her mother is Cindy Crawford, her father is a millionaire worth 400 million, her boyfriend is Austin Butler. I just wish she will go away finally. No matter how hard I try, I can’t warm up to her. Sadly, looking at the state she is now, you can clearly tell that the girl has issues, but sadly,having no brain,she can’t understand that she’s a tragedy about to happen.

💯

Girl! I wish I could give you an award for this post. You basically hit the nail squarely on the head with the many various reasons why a lot of us in Austin's fandom don't like this girl! I'd be saying the exact same thing if Austin were dating another woman just like this. I'm actually verrry surprised that people haven't called Kaia out on her very obvious clout-chasing by now.

I'll be honest, I never really cared for her even when she was dating Elordi. I don't hate her, she's just meh to me. Always has been. So my thoughts and feelings about her are not about Austin. It's more so about what I've observed about her over the years.

Her dating Austin just makes things even more unbearable though -- especially when you know that he could do so much better. 😩 But hey, it's his life, not mine!

When I realized they were dating however, I really did try to like her too, or at least give her a chance. I saw that Austin was with her, so I was trying to be a "good fan"and see what he may see in her. But last year, I started seeing more and more negative things that I just didn't like about her.

I really don't have much to add to this wonderful post, because you basically touched on the many various reasons why a lot of AB fans don't really care for her. I also think she makes Austin look cheap with her weird behavior and interests. 👀 She really cheapens his brand imo. But that's a topic for another day lol.

[prongsfish]

it took very little encouragement to convince me so as described in this post here is the fake aita post i wrote from barty's pov while writing call me fate, call me karma... this was all written in jest, i do not use reddit nor care at all to try make this realistic to anything ever <3 don't take anything too seriously.

tw // transphobic & homophobic slurs used by a hostile commenter who faces immediate backlash/punishment. slurs are both censored and target identities to which i as the author belong to.

WIBTA for questioning my GF's distant behaviour when she clearly doesn't want to talk about it? ESH, 1 Update, [THIS POST HAS BEEN LOCKED]

I (18M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for over 3 years now, and we'd been close friends for 4 years before that. We go to a boarding school, and due to the girls in our house and year being shitty, she moved into the boy's dorm with our friend and I before we even got together, and we're in our last year of school now before we graduate. We practically spend all our time together and our relationship is very strong, we've avoided talking too much about plans after graduation because we both come from very restrictive families (Without going into too much detail, we both face very specific expectations for what our adult lives will look like) and our relationship is a secret from everyone but our close friends, but I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. She's everything to me and I've always gotten the idea that she feels the same about me, and honestly, whatever she wants to do after we graduate, I'd follow her. I don't really care where I go/what I do as long as it means I'm with her. I can't imagine life without her.

Lately, she's been acting really strangely. I guess it started during exams, but that's normal for her. We're both pretty academic people but she especially devotes everything into her schoolwork, so it wasn't a surprise when she was distant in the lead-up to and in the midst of our final exams. She didn't talk much, and spent practically all of her waking time studying. (Side note, she did amazing on the exams. I'm super proud of her.)

After, though, she was still distant. She started receiving letters at breakfast which she'd quickly hide, and never read in front of anyone. Sometimes she'd excuse herself entirely from breakfast, assumedly to read them, and wouldn't eat at all. She's been antsy and visibly stressed more often than not. Like I mentioned before, she has a difficult family life, and I'm not surprised that she's nervous in the time leading up to graduation, but usually she'd talk to me at least a little about that sort of thing. Plus, I know what letters from her family look like, and these letters look nothing like anything she'd ever received before. She's been less physically affectionate than usual, and sometimes she shows up after disappearing randomly looking like she's just been crying. I'm really worried about her, but I know that if she wanted to talk to me about it, she would, and she's been insistently ignoring any indication of concern from our friends or I. Even the slightest questioning look, she completely shuts it down. I don't want to upset her by bringing it up, because that's not really the way we function as a couple, but I'm starting to feel hopeless. We don't really talk about our issues, and when we do "communicate" it's only ever when we argue about things. I'm also really worried that I've done something wrong, or that she doesn't want to stay with me. I don't want to admit it because it scares me too much, but I can't help the nagging fear in the back of my mind.

Basically, I'm trying to ask if I should mention it, or if I should wait for her to say something on her own? Something has to happen eventually, because we've both known at least with graduation that we do need to decide on what we're going to do with that, so maybe I should just wait for it all to come up. There's only a few more weeks until we're set to go home, so I could probably just hold on. It's just really worrying me and I don't know how much longer I can handle the uncertainty, and I don't want her to be struggling alone. Would I be TA for bringing it up?

(122 DOWN)

Sounds like you guys need to learn how to communicate, holy shit. (467 UP)

If you're just gonna be a dick I don't want to hear it. This is just how we function and we've been fine for years. (531 DOWN)

I don't think you'd be TA for bringing it up, but in general it sounds like your relationship is somewhat codependent. Your entire life shouldn't be reliant on what she wants to do, bro. Sounds like you need therapy. (271 UP)

Look, I just want to be with her, okay? I've never cared about what I do. I don't see the issue, you're all overreacting. (113 DOWN)

It sounds to me like she's cheating on you, dude. (364 UP)

Fuck you. You don't fucking know her. She wouldn't do that, and I don't like you suggesting that she would. I'd beat the shit out of you if I knew who you really were. (210 DOWN)

Looking through these replies, you're being super defensive. Maybe she has a perfectly innocent explanation, but the main theme here is that you both have some issues that you need to work through. This isn't a healthy way for either of you to live, I recommend individual and/or couples therapy for both if possible. (545 UP)

Whatever, man. Not the god damn point of this point. If I knew Reddit would be so useless I wouldn't have bothered posting here in the first place. (478 DOWN)

Update

Hahaaaaa!! Fuck you guys. Reddit is fucking useless, but I'm here because I want to shove it in the face of everyone who told me I was being cheated on. Fuck you!! You don't know shit about my relationship!! I don't need therapy, assholes!! Me and my boyfriend are perfectly okay the way we are!!! Yeah, that's right, boyfriend! He's just trans!! He realised it during exams and freaked out because he was worried about losing me but he didn't lose me because I don't give a fuck if he's a girl or a boy I wanna spend the rest of my life with him!! The letters were between him and his estranged brother (19M), who'd ran away a few years ago because he hated their family, but he's gay, and my boyfriend didn't know who else to reach out to. And he'd been crying all the time because he was dealing with fixing his relationship with his brother and he was scared of what would happen after he came out. I didn't even need to bring it up, he finally told me! He finally told his brother a few days ago after exchanging letters for a few weeks, and told me after getting a letter back from his brother accepting him. His parents wouldn't accept him, so we're discussing fucking off away from our families and moving in together. Like I told you guys, I'd do whatever as long as I could stay with him, so that's what we're doing! We might be moving in with his brother for a bit while we find somewhere to live, which will be interesting, because he doesn't know we're together, and he hates me, and i kinda hate him too still for abandoning my boyfriend, but I'm willing to give him another shot if my boyfriend is. Anyways we're doing better than ever and I gave him a haircut and he looks amazing, I love him so much.

(73 UP)

Happy for you and him both but that doesn't negate the fact that you both still need therapy. Especially if he has to cut his parents off because they wouldn't accept him. You didn't give many details, but if his brother ran away (assumedly as a minor) because of their parents, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that it was an abusive environment. Even if not, therapy is still good. (175 UP)

Why would he need therapy if he's literally cutting them off lol. They're gone now it doesn't even matter anymore. (313 DOWN)

I truly am glad that it worked out well between you guys but it's so crazy reading these and all your comments. I mean this in the best way possible, you are both mentally ill. Therapy is a good thing. Just try it. (231 UP)

Jfccc you guys worry too much. I shouldn't have even bothered with this update. (282 DOWN)

Got invested just to find out she's a delusional tr***y and you're a f****t, wow. (278 DOWN)

192.158.1.38, Mr. John Doe. 123 Maple Street. Anytown, PA 17101 (263 UP)

Thanks OP for doing the hard part of the work for me, a swat team is currently on route to his house. (182 UP)

Thanks, mate. I knew there had to be some decent people on this website. (101 UP)

[plusultraetc]

Fic Writer Interview

Thank you so much @starlightbelle for tagging me!! If there are any One Piece fans following this blog, I highly recommend Belle's fics!

-- How many works do you have on AO3?

Officially I have 18, but it's 19 if you include the Star Wars au (my beloved). I haven't taken it out of the anonymous collection yet because I promised myself I would only do so when I posted the second chapter, but I still count it in my head!

-- What's your total AO3 word count?

95,613 :') I know that's nothing compared to some writers, but I am unreasonably pleased with it. I'm wondering if I should do something fun when I break 100k, which should hopefully be soon with chapter 2 of 'now i'm glad i get forever' 🤞

-- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

there's no good tricks but old ones

i'll take what i can get, i'll take what i am given

you've got no fear of the underdog

write me a list of how it is

every battle, every day

-- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!! I'm a smidge behind on literally everything this month, but I eventually respond to them all <3 I really do appreciate every single comment, they literally make my entire week and sometimes it takes me so long to reply because I am editing my response four hundred times to take out all of the !!!s.

(I also love getting to talk to others in the fandom, even if it's just for a single exchange--MHA is actually the Most Involved I've ever been in a fandom, and I've met so many really cool people by commenting and replying to comments on fics!! Thank you ao3 comments section, I love you ao3 comments section.)

-- What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm this is tough bc I don't write a lot of angsty endings, and most of my fics are canon compliant anyway so the angst is relative? With this in mind, it's probably 'there's no good tricks but old ones'--it's one of my only fics where there isn't some kind of emotional breakthrough or connection reached (or even the start of one) and it's pre-Paranormal Liberation War arc so we all know Hawks is headed for A Really Bad Time 😬

-- What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

All of them,, but I did write about Shinsou finding out he'd been accepted into the hero course in 'every battle, every day' which might take the cake (Brian from TAZ voice I'm so proud of them etc)

-- Do you write crossovers?

Do crossovers have to include characters from another media? Bc I've written aus set in other universes, but none of the characters from them appear 🤔

-- Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully no! I did once receive a comment that was just like. A Statement with no tonal indicators, In All Caps, but I'm 99% sure it was meant to be taken positively. okay 98% sure.

-- Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope! (I also don't read E-rated fics even though I get so many interesting looking recommendations with that rating 😭 If you've ever recommended me an E-rated fic and I just never brought it up again I'M SORRY)

-- Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of?

-- Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also no!

-- Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I think it would be fun :D

-- What's your all-time favorite ship?

It feels like cheating to say erasermic on the MHA blog, but like. I'm going to say erasermic on the MHA blog. I don't think I'd ever written anything for a ship in my life before them. To be loved is to be changed but to have a ship is also to be changed.

-- What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Never say never but rip time travel fic lol.

-- What are your writing strengths?

IF I SAY SOMETHING YOU DISAGREE WITH LOOK AWAY. But. I think I write good dialogue, especially banter, and that I am occasionally funny. I also think I'm pretty good at describing places, but only if I have a clear mental image of them, so I feel like you can always tell when I'm not sure what a room looks like (which is most of the time).

-- What are your writing weaknesses?

Second-guessing and self-doubting myself into genuine writing paralysis. Also internal monologue/narration, like a character thinking about and articulating their feelings :')

-- What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm a little confused about this question?? But I also only speak one language fluently so I can't do this anyway 😭

-- What was the first fandom you wrote for?

When my sister and I were kids we used to pick our favorite characters from a bunch of different movies/books/shows and tell stories about them all going on some kind of gigantic crossover adventure, so it was probably something along the lines of 'Scooby-Doo, Batman, and Jedidiah from Night at the Museum vs Firelord Ozai'

-- What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I have a few Demon Slayer WIPs I'd love to figure out one day!

-- What's your favorite fic you've written?

This question is so hard bc like. Does it mean my favorite fic while I was working on it, or my favorite result? The fic that was easiest to write, or most difficult but most worth it?? The fic I've reread the most, or the fic I'm afraid to reread in case it doesn't live up to the memory I have of it??? Can I do a top 3????

This was so much fun!! (even though it did give me several small crises staring at my stats page--run 'i'll take what i can get, i'll take what i am given,' 'there's no good tricks but old ones' is right behind you!!) No-pressure tagging @machiroads @blinkeasy @kyurilin @karliahs @poppy5991 @ifyougoillfollow and anyone else who sees this & wants to participate!! I was scrolling through my following tab but omg it's a long list so I def missed some writers 😭

[bridgertonbabe]

Signing off.

I never really thought I'd ever write a post like this and to be perfectly honest I feel a bit cringe for even making a thing out of this but I felt it necessary to address those of you who follow me and my writings.

In the last month I have been suffering severely from anxiety, waking up to what feels like a ball of dread clutching at my heart and being unable to shift it for the better part of the day. It's all come to a head as of late because I've reached a crossroads in my life where I've realised just how unhappy and unfulfilled I am. Truth to be told I really don't have any aspect in my life that I am happy with and for years I've dismissed myself and my own desires for the sake of others to the point where I have no self worth, no self confidence, and I just feel like a shell of a person. Realising that I can't go on like this, that I can't live the life I aspire to without sorting my mental health out, I've taken the first steps in getting counselling and in going to the doctors to be put on anti-depressants.

While I'm already starting to feel better, I've decided it's in my best interests to take some other steps going ahead; which is I'm logging off this account.

Don't get me wrong, this account has brought me fulfillment in the last two and a half years and I've had so much fun interacting with so many of you but as of late I've become very disengaged with Bridgerton. It's one of several of my hyperfixations which I have become anxious with in the last few weeks, in part because they are what I used to immerse myself in as a means to distract myself from a dissatisfying existence, but now I've decided to make a change in my life for the better, everything that I once used to bury my head in the sand has now essentially given me the ick. Bridgerton is just now one of several things that I feel the need to distance myself from in order to fully focus and concentrate on bettering my mental health as well as getting what I want out of life.

As much as I've taken pride in writing because of Bridgerton, my dream has always to one day publish a book of my own and I need to refocus my energies on writing my own original stories to have the chance of maybe being able to make that dream a reality. I would have so dearly loved to have been able to complete a whole host of WIPs (would have also loved to have been able to just focus on one story at a time but c'est la vie) and I can only apologise to anyone who's been hoping for an update from any of them.

You will still be able to read all of my works on AO3 (plus I've restored a couple I had previously hidden from view), and I won't be deleting this tumblr so all of my drabbles and various posts will still be here for you to browse and read at your leisure.

Though I'm stepping away from this account, I don't necessarily know if this will be forever. I might well end up in a better place mentally at some point and return with a healthier state of mind where I can enjoy Bridgerton again, and I would never rule out contributing writings again - however as it stands, I don't want to promise anything and taking care of my mental health is my main priority for now and the foreseeable future.

I also just wanted to take the opportunity to thank every single person who has ever liked, reblogged, and interacted with me since I joined. I had never previously shared any of my creative writing online and thought it would be nice if even a single person somewhere vaguely liked anything I had to share - but over the last two and a half years I've been given such a boost from the amount of people who have reached out and commented on any one of my silly writings. I don't think you'll ever understand just how much it has meant to me and the love and appreciation will stay with me forever.

That about does it, so thank you all for everything. I wish you all a lifetime of health and happiness.

Signing off,

Shinnie

xxx

[specialgradefckr]

I really love your work. I've read all of them, more than once, and you've inspired me to make my own! I really like your profile, and if I'm not mistaken, you're the only one I know with a "search keywords" feature. I also think it's very clean to look at, easy to navigate for new users. I really hate the idea of bothering you, but I'd really appreciate it if you could give tips and advice for new users like me. I'm still new to tumblr, sorry and thank you in advance.

asdflkhjldfgh that's so sweet of you to say!!! i'm really glad you love my stuff, bc looking back, i'm super proud of almost all of it. like, i think i had a lot of bangers, and it's so validating to hear that you think so, too <3

and don't worry about bothering me. i won't lie, i've been getting a BUNCH of asks, but it's so, so encouraging to have all this engagement. it really motivates me to write bc i'm like,,, look,, all these friends in my inbox who want to read my work 🥺

i hope your inspiration goes well! i haven't been great about reblogging other people's work lately, but i do actually read a lot of stuff, particularly in the gojo/yandere gojo tags.

that's my number one piece of advice btw - tag the shit out of all your stuff. tumblr tags can be forgiving or a bit stiff depending on how a person is searching for fics.

literally search for an example of the kind of fic you're writing. take a top example with a whole bunch of notes. look at the tags on it. often it'll be something like:

fandom, fandom x reader, fandom x yn, fandom x you, char, character full name, char x reader, char x you, char smut, char x reader smut

and just go. slap on all the tags. make sure you don't include anything inaccurate though! i do also know some writers, particularly yandere ones, who write fics and then tag all the applicable characters, which is a great way to show up in a log of searches.

basically the fic won't contain a character's name - if it's for a male character, the character will just be "he/him" in the story. and then in the tags (or in the body of the fic) the writer will list character who they think fits the archetype.

@yanderenightmare does these really well (they also write fics with specific characters in them), and as fate would have it, they've also given out writing on tumblr advice:

https://www.tumblr.com/yanderenightmare/762144865228357632/heya-do-you-have-any-more-writing-tips-for?source=share

on search keywords - i've always found searching on tumblr to be spotty, so those tags are kind of my attempt to have some organization.

there are other blogs that do it (tumblr's huge, there's always someone doing something) but it's not necessarily common. #lemon as a smut tag and #answered asks and #BYHTD as filtering tags are kind of things that just came up when i was thinking "how will i find this if i want to look back on it later?".

i will also mention, i am by no means some particularly great tumblr power user or anything. i just started writing my silly little fics way back in june sjkfglhsg honestly i'm surprised by some of the attention i've been getting! i figured a lot of my stuff was kinda niche!

more advice. make a masterlist pretty early on and update it like... every few weeks or so. try to make a schedule to post and keep to it - for this blog i try to post a fic/content every wednesday, although i'm thinking about doing twice a week or an odd middle update every now and then.

do not be scared of other tumblrs. make friends. reblog their stuff! people really like it when you do that! if you see a fic you like, reblog it, and leave a comment in the tags or the reblog, even if it's just "my favorite part was X". they may never interact with you (such is the nature of online socialization), but you gotta be the change you wish to see in the world.

writer friends are a super valuable resource. they can help you come up with ideas, cheer you on, workshop stuff with you, and just generally make you feel good about writing when your juice is failing you.

i know MANY writers who go through periods of just thinking they're bad writers and all their work is bad, etc. it's a struggle and having other writers to tell you "i don't think it's bad" does a LOT.

in any case, from one writer to another writer (hopeful), good luck!

[calamitoustide]

Hey! I just went onto your ao3 account and noticed that all but one of your marauders fics were gone and ofc there’s no pressure to answer or anything or u might’ve answered this already in a previous post that I just haven’t seen yet but I was just wondering what happened if u feel comfortable answering. I hope all is well!

I've gotten a few of these but I figured I'd just answer one before ducking back into the hole I've put myself in. Yes, I've taken down all my marauders fics and I'm honestly not sure when I'll put them up again. I will though, eventually, when I feel better about this whole thing.

I've been being pushed out of the marauders fandom for a long time, and recently it's just gotten really bad. It didn't take until I started posting for arcane that I fully realized how bad it was. I turned off my email notification for comments on ao3 because I just couldn't be reminded of my marauders fics... which fucking sucks considering how much comments used to bring me joy. it was just sorta my final straw. so now everything is up in the air I'm not sure where I stand with this whole thing.

i took a few days off and I haven't been on here since Thursday I was actually feeling better and now I don't know I think I'm just back to feeling worse and I'm afraid it won't ever go away. I've only read arcane fics recently and I know it's a very popular fandom right now so things are different but going from that to looking at the fics in the jegulus tag and seeing pages of fics with almost no kudos is really killing me. it's not even my own fics. it's just this whole place is awful and really the marauders fandom is killing itself. it's been a slow process but it's happening, and I've just had to sit back and watch it.

i'll probably go and write for jeg again just because i love them so much and when i can actually get out of my head and stop thinking about this awful fandom i find love for them again, but i don't know where i stand with everything else. I've been here four years and I've never felt more alone here. I've never felt more isolated. I'm afraid I've been isolated this entire time. I just hate thinking that I've almost been here for four straight years and I'm being pushed out like this.

You didn't ask for all of this but this is where I am. I'm so fucking tired of this place and nothing has even happened to me. No one's coming after me. This is just the effect of the fandom. I want to leave everywhere. I want to disappear without a trace and never talk to anyone from here again and it's fucking awful.

I don't know how much longer I'll be on here tonight but I thought I'd say all of this to answer the questions before they get bad and people start asking me for PDFs again. Which no I am not giving out.

[uriekukistan]

Fanfic Writer Interview

thank you @alonelystargazer for tagging me!

no pressure tags @earthtodora @sunnyyflowerrs @kentuckyfriedmegumi and @kat-likes-writing !!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

counting the ones i moved to "anonymous" i have 36 for 3 fandoms

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Family is Embarrassing

Dancing With a Stranger

summer lovin'

koi no yokan

honey and lavender

all itafushi. i write other fandoms/ships sometimes but yeah im mostly known for itafushi. if i can even call myself known.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

okay so i DO but im just really slow right now because of uni. like i have 100+ comments stacked up im so sorry guys. uni is kicking my ass. but usually i try to bc i like to let readers know that i appreciate the support <3

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

....this is hard i have a few that are pretty bad. the one that hurts me the most is right where you left me (ghost au)....idk it's like sad and happy. they both sortaaa get what they need but also like they dont get to be together, and i think (hope) it was obvious from the start that a happy ending wasn't on the table for them

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

contrary to popular belief i write a lot of happy endings!!!!!! i want to say koi no yokan even though it's not out yet, not because it has the objectively happiest ending, but because the whole thing is so angsty and a lot of people have said they doubt that i'll actually give a happy ending. and i will! anyway, i'd say its the happiest because its like. relieving at the end. without giving too much away.

Do you write crossovers?

i don't think i'd write a crossover in the traditional sense where characters from two medias interact, but i've written au's where i put the characters from x show into the universe from y show. that's probably as close as i'll get to a crossover.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

four times...ngl i was a bit confused abt one bc it felt like they hadn't read the fic, one time they just hated the ship and took it out on the fic, and the other was recent......that once kinda upset me bc of the second ask they sent.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

uh. hm. i have. i'm very shy abt it so i would never post it in a way that'd tie back to me, and only a few ppl actually know abt the details.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i've seen.........but im also chronically offline these days

Have you ever had a fic translated?

also no, but i do frequently get comments in spanish which is cool

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

tbh i think it'd be fun, but i'm also so particular abt my process that i think it'd frustrate the other person. however....there would potentially be a few ppl i'd be interested in writing with. but once again, i'm shy

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

itafushi ofc. my number one forever, i don't think a singular ship has ever grabbed me by the throat like this before

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

sigh theres so many. i recently published a new fic and i'm like not even feeling motivated to write the next two chapters......i feel bad abt that bc i did already share it. this is why i need to write all if not most of the multichapter before i share it. most of the things i have rn are just ideas tho bc i havent had time to write much that's new

What are your writing strengths?

oh god......um i think i do a good job creating an emotional atmosphere and taking the reader inside the pov character's head

What are your writing weaknesses?

description for sure. i'm just not good with visual things, whether its art or descriptions in writing. i'm also not observant which doesn't help like i couldn't tell you anything about what's happening around me right now which is Not Good. either way it hinders my writing fs. also i think sometimes i struggle w pacing and characterization. and dialogue. um. honestly i think i have a lot of weaknesses, i'm not the fondest of my own writing unfortunately.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

hm. i think it has a place ig, but personally i would never do it, despite the fact that i'm trilingual and definitely have the capacity to.

also this is an unpopular opinion, and i think it comes from my time studying japanese in university, but when i see like "gojo-sensei," or "itadori-kun" type things, it does make me cringe a bit. like i know that is what they are saying but like if i did that in class it would be marked wrong so i've just been trained to read it as incorrect.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

ngl rn im only interested in writing for itafushi. i would like to write more for tokyo ghoul soon though

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

at this present moment.....right where you left me. there is also a budding au in my drive that i'm quite fond of but i'm waiting to share more details on that