#and even though i am femme it still doesn’t

[keepmovinjunior]

when i was a little girl i went to my cousins birthday party, which was a dress up, and every other little girl there had to get up on a stage and say what they wanted to be when they grew up. i had all of these things in my head ready to say like, astronaut, zookeeper, teacher. but then every single other little girl that went before me was saying princess. and i was like, wait, is that what i’m supposed to want to do / say?? and i got all shy and then when i finally got up there i said like 5 other random jobs and then added “and princess.” quietly on the end so i could fit in with the other girls. basically i’ve been playing meg since day one lmao

[gatheringbones]

[“It was only after I came out as a dyke that, for the first time in my life, I felt ready to celebrate being a girl, and I did. Actually, I overdid. Armed with Esther Newton’s Mother Camp, Judith Butler’s Gender Trouble, and Joan Nestle’s A Restricted Country, I embraced femme. I dressed up in short flowery dresses, pushup bras, satin panties, and lacy stockings. I paid great attention to my long, curly, perfectly-coiffed hair, my glamorous makeup, and especially my pouty lips. I spritzed Lola’s smell on my skin—Estee Lauder’s Private Collection—and painted my nails. I wore all of it with black combat boots and a brilliant sense of irony. I reveled in my girliness, went over the top, learned how to tweeze my eyebrows and line my lips with a lip pencil.

My gender presentation was unmistakable: blatant female sexuality. I was a proud, in-your-face, take-no-prisoners, uppity, don’t-assume-I’m-straight-because-I-wear-lipstick-and-dresses femme dyke. Because femmes are always assumed to be straight or sleeping with men, and I do sleep with men, I made sure to always have a butch on my arm so I’d be read as femme. Even though I was sure I’d be mistaken for straight, the boys took one look at me and steered clear. It was as if I was too much of a woman for them to handle, like I was a handful, and I was. But butch girls love a handful—a handful of tits, a handful of ass, a girl who needs to be handled, a girl who can handle herself.

How I figured out I was a femme had a lot to do with the women I was attracted to and the dynamic between us. When I was in junior high, I used to mess around with a friend of mine named Angela. Angela was one of those girls who developed early; I remember she had big breasts in like sixth grade. We mostly kissed and touched over clothes, and we played out various boy-girl scenarios. I was always the girl—my early femme roots. My favorite of all our little scenes was the one where she was my male boss and I was the secretary. The boss made me have sex with him and told me if I didn’t I would get fired. Now this was all before Clarence Thomas, Anita Hill and the media awareness/obsession with sexual harassment. I remember she’d tell me to suck her dick and push my face unmercifully into her crotch, which smelled amazing,. The drama of it all—the force, the degradation, the power games—really got me off. After that, there was no going back to simplicity. I was hooked on the power.

Jen really epitomized all the girls I was attracted to then and still am. Being with a butch girl, I was valued for my combination of strength and vulnerability, for dressing up, for wanting an arm to hold onto, hips to wrap my legs around, being able to give my body over to her and say, I trust you, I’m yours. My butch loved me in low-cut dresses, appreciated my sexual voraciousness, worshipped my inner slut. I reveled in the fact that I could be strong and submissive all at once. Surrender and still be a feminist. Being a dyke is not just about who I fuck and love, it’s about being a girl who doesn’t play by the rules.

Butch girls don’t play by the rules either, and I love butch girls. Girls with hair so short you can barely slide it between two fingers to hold on. Girls with slick, shiny, barbershop haircuts and shirts that button the other way. Girls that swagger. Girls who have dicks made of flesh and silicone and latex and magic. Girls who get stared at in the ladies room, girls who shop in the boy’s department, girls who live every moment looking like they weren’t supposed to. Girls with hands that touch me like they have been touching my body their entire lives. Girls who have big cocks, love blow-jobs, and like to fuck girls hard. Every day, it is the girls that get called Sir that make me catch my breath, the girls with strong jaws that buckle my knees, the girls who are a different gender that make me want to lie down for them.

Someone else said it about me recently and it’s right on target: “She gets off on all different sorts of people sexually, but she falls for butches.” Like the poet who bought her first strap-on with me and then wanted to sleep with it on. The shrink-in-training who got harassed every time she drove down South. She did look so much like a fifteen-year-old boy: blue button-down shirts, neatly-combed blond hair. The ad exec who had names for her dildos and used to love for me to spit-shine her wingtips. The photographer whose face was so mannish she could pass almost anywhere. The writer who wanted a body like Loren Cameron’s. The telephone repairwoman who drove a truck. The cook who had a boy’s name. The academic who got cruised by gay men on Castro Street. The cornfed farmboy from the Heartland with arms so hard and strong you swear they’ve been working the land, not the iron at the gym.

And there’s the one who’s got the James Dean stare down, and dresses like a clean-cut fag, and looks at me like she could look at me forever and never blink or grow tired or move from the spot she’s in. She’s a girl who loves girls like me—girls in velvet bras, girls who want to surrender to her mouth. She’s a girl who isn’t afraid to throw a femme down on the bed and fuck her. Possess her. My kind of girl. This girl is different.”]

tristan taormino, from this girl is different, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000

[crippleprophet]

i don’t understand how people can be so fucking cruel about people who can’t read much (including people who aren’t literate, though this post is from my experience with chronic illness). like, one of my main motivations behind posting excerpts of butch+femme writing on my main (@campgender ; it’s fine to go through my bookshelf tag but please only followers age 18+ on that blog!) is that it is fucking hard to read a full book!!

my reading comprehension & stamina decreased drastically when i developed worse chronic fatigue, & while i’m overjoyed that i’ve recently regained a lot of that particular ability since getting blackout curtains, there are absolutely still texts i can’t even begin to parse that i once would’ve loved digging into — texts that it would be actively dangerous for me to attempt to struggle through because it would break pacing.

idk i’m not trying to be self-congratulatory here or whatever but like. the second i could access information through this means again, the focus of my (very fucking limited!!) energy has been giving it back to my people. my life has been unquestionably, deeply shaped by tumblr users who share excerpts of theory & memoir & poetry because they were providing labor of which i was in need & incapable.

finding, selecting, transcribing, formatting, & at times contextualizing passages takes a lot of fucking time & energy, but in order for me to encounter certain concepts, experiences, & histories, it’s work somebody else had to do, because i couldn’t read 200 pages of research or anthology in order to encounter the 10 that would change my life — but posted 2 or 3 pages at a time, i could save that in my drafts to get through on a good day, & quotes that were only a couple lines i could usually read right when i encountered them.

so, in memory of the years i spent unable to access theory through anything other than excerpts & secondhand summaries,

and in anticipation of the years to come where i will live the same,

and in acceptance that the brain is a muscle, in love of we the exercise-intolerant,

to you, dear reader — whatever form & frequency & duration that reading may take, even if it’s no further than this post — i make my motherfucking covenant: the issues i discuss around pulling quotes will be about the political act of the ellipse and the ethics of transcription, not shaming people for the methods of accessing information that are available to them. as often & as long as i am able, people can ask me to explain something or summarize in plain language and i will meet them with respect, interest, & effort. if someone’s looking for information on a particular topic, identity, experience & doesn’t have the energy to find it, i’m gonna give what i have towards filtering through the bullshit for the gems.

according to our abilities. according to our needs.

and the next time somebody tells you it’s not ableist to say everyone has to read [whatever work], tell them to go put their precious ability to better use in making it more accessible.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Can I ask, why do you love BL romance better than het romance? What makes them better? I did not mean anything negative, and I know everyone have their own like and dislike but I want to know your thoughts....

Also what do you think that made Asian MLM (BL manga/manhwa/manhua/tv series/movies) romances better than western MLM romances?

Hello! Yes you are more than welcome to ask :) I truly, truly love getting asks in my inbox and have been having so much fun with the fact I’ve actually been getting some recently! Warning this is long (but i have TL;DRs for everything)

___

I think the fastest answer for me is that I am queer, and therefore I find I have a lot more enjoyment and interest in watching queer stories compared to heterosexual ones.

Also, I find a lot of heterosexual romances to be steeped in misogyny, and have low-key or high-key abusive dynamics. And again, do not get me wrong, there are plenty of queer shows where there are abusive dynamics in play, but it is much harder for misogyny to be committed between two men than it is for misogyny to be placed on a male/female pairing. (I love GLs cause, you know…women, but there are a lot more complex dynamics going in to stories written about two women and those can get much trickier for me, and unfortunately many narratives love punishing lesbains with death so.... Anyway, I’m trying to stick mostly to BLs since that is primarily what this ask is about.)

Additionally, I love BLs more than heterosexual romances because of how BLs treat men. Men in heterosexual romances, especially in the West are extremely masculine, often unable to be in touch with their emotions, jaded, misogynistic, they have to be extremely muscular, and we almost never see femme boys or men.

BLs have such a vast range of men, they have twinks, they have femmes, they have gym bros. They have the clowns, and the super masculine boys. There are shows that let boys be boys, be stupid, and stinky, and fucking gross (hey Pat from Bad Buddy), they let boys be angry and aggressive and express their emotions that way (Sean and Yok’s fight in Not Me, Han Baram and Im Hantae’s conversation in the boxing ring in Sing My Crush, Lom and Nuea in The Wedding Plan, Patts in La Pluie), they let boys fight and wrestle and play (Bad Buddy, My School President, Moonlight Chicken, Only Friends). I love queer stories that let men be gay and ensure through the story that that never undermines their masculinity. I love that there are shows that focus on the progress older men can make in their relationships (What Did You Eat Yesterday?) THEY ARE ALSO ALLOWED TO CRY!!!!

And though it is still kind of rare, Asian BLs actually do have femme boys, and while I am sure femme boys exist in Western shows, I think Pose and fucking Glee are like…the only two shows with queer people that I have seen in the last decade that have an femme boy representation at all. On the flip side, I love how often GMMTV puts their boys in drag and that doesn’t even have to be in a queer show. I also generally love the fact that most of the male actors in Asian BLs, and again, especially in Thailand embrace their femme sides in photoshoots and whatnot, that they wear earrings, and jewelry, and makeup and they look hot as fuck, because it helps me with my own gender identity. I feel and see myself much more masculine (and have less dysphoria) when I have an earring or a necklace or makeup on, now that I have seen so many boys do the same. 

TL;DR: I am queer, and heterosexual romances are frequently misogynistic, and men are extremely masculine and rarely allowed to be soft. Asian BLs give us a very broad range of masculinity, but often let boys be boys while also kissing boys. And actors embracing their femme sides helps me feel more masculine when I lean in to my femme side.

___

As for Asian MLM romances compared to Western MLM romances, obviously this is not a cut and dry thing, not all Asian BLs are going to be better than Western BLs but I find I have a tendency to enjoy Asian BLs/queer media more for a few reasons, generally in order of most to least important for me:

Reason One- Family

This may seem somewhat surprising because the first, and honestly biggest reason I tend to like Asian BLs more than Western BLs has much less to do with the queer aspect. It's actually the family dynamics. I think Western media very frequently has a tendency to be very binary in their portrayal of family dynamics, if family is at all included in Western narratives the relationships that characters have to their family is either almost wholly good, or almost wholly bad. You either have a very abusive household that a character is trying to avoid or flee, or you have a traditional, happy, nuclear family, and when characters have a strained relationship to their family, I have noticed a lot more narrative support for leaving that family behind. But for the most part, family does not play a huge role in most Western shows (and, wild concept to me, it’s part of why I think shows like Succession are so successful, because that is all about complex, fucked up, and loving relationships within a family). 

Whereas, in Asian media, far more frequently family and family dynamics play a huge role in the character’s lives, behaviors, and can influence the story. And because filial piety is such an important aspect to many Asian cultures, you get a lot more interesting parent/child relationships out of Asian media than you do with Western content. And I am a white Westerner, but I am fundamentally, culturally a Southerner and despite no longer being a woman, I will never shed the mantle of Eldest Daughter. And that has resulted in a sense of family responsibility and piety that ends up making it very very easy for me to understand the motivations of the characters that remain loyal to their family even when their family is asking for things from them that run counter to their own desires or happiness (I’ve actually had this conversation a lot with @waitmyturtles about the intersections of Southern culture and Asian culture).

And similarly, I find that a lot of Western media with queer characters at least in the time frame that I have been able to find content with queer characters is either wholly homophobic, or wholly accepting. And do not get me wrong, we get family dynamics like that in Asian BLs too, but we also get parents who are upset about their child’s queerness, and will voice that, and yet who still take care of their children. I’m thinking of the film I watched just the other day called Margarita with a Straw where the main character’s mother can barely look or talk to her daughter when she comes out, but because she is disabled, her mother is still there preparing food for her, bathing her, etc. because even if she is upset about her child’s queerness she can’t stop taking care of her. And those aren’t dynamics I often see in Western media. 

I don’t see relationships like Sawismol and Wang in Western media, where a mother can look at her child and say, out loud that she is disappointed, and to be upset, and to still, despite everything, be the person that her son goes to for comfort when he is absolutely devastated, and I don’t see Western parents sitting there and performing that comfort even when they are disappointed in their children’s queerness.

TL;DR: Family dynamics feel a lot more built out, realistic, and complex in many Asian BLs/media that I’ve seen, than they do in many Western shows. Until I started watching Asian media, I had not seen the dynamics I have with my mother or my father played out on screen. 

Reason Two- Casual Trans Inclusion 

And, as a trans person myself, part of what makes Asian BL shows, Thai shows much more specifically, so important, interesting, and influential to me when compared to Western BLs is the casual inclusion of trans people. Like, that is just something Western media is barely ready for. It’s not non-existent. We have and have had shows like The Fosters, Sense8, Pose, The Owl House, and Heartstopper that have some trans rep. But a lot of those shows have a hefty component to them that shows the struggles of being trans.

In The Fosters we have to watch Cole nearly die trying to get his hands on testosterone, in Sense8 we have to watch Nomi be kept as a medical prisoner and stripped of her autonomy and almost lobotomized, in Pose we are constantly exposed to the very real dangers that trans women of color experience including murder, in Heartstopper we are spared from having to witness the transphobia Elle went through, but it is mentioned. I think the only one of these shows that doesn’t have some element of struggle because a character is trans is The Owl House and let us not forget that Raine Whispers goes through fucking hell in that show. And these conversations, and the demonstrations of struggle to just survive and thrive despite that is vitally important in a society that is pushing closer and closer towards genocide against trans people. Stories that show the struggles of trans people exist for the sake of realism but also serve as an attempt to try to garner empathy towards trans people by cisgender viewers. 

Thailand does have stories where a trans character experiences transphobia (3 Will Be Free, The Warp Effect, Secret Crush on You), but they also have so many stories where trans people are literally just vibing. Do you know how revolutionary it was for me when I watched KinnPorsche and saw Yok, and she was happy, and beautiful, and fun, and her entire plot centered around her running that bar, flirting with boys, and playing surrogate mother to Porsche? Or just to see trans women existing, who aren’t even central to the plot, but are just there? (Payu’s secretary at the auto shop is a trans woman, Golf Tanwarin was at the inclusive cafe in The Eclipse, Golf Kittipat had an illustrious career as a music producer in My School President). Like that shit is SO important to me, and I never, never see it in Western media. 

TL;DR: There are many Thai shows especially where trans people just exist, and they have plots that aren’t always centered around them being trans. Which is revolutionary, coming in as a trans Western viewer where the majority of trans rep in Western shows makes me eventually have to watch trans people suffer. 

Reason Three- Passion Projects

The film industry is huge and pervasive in Western culture, and in the US especially, and with that comes big budget projects that stretch out as long as they can squeeze a cent out of a fan base. As a result you get shows that are too long, you get shows that ruin their premise in the last season after five to fifteen years of dragging the shambling corpse of a story along. And again, do not get me wrong, there are plenty plenty of Asian BLs that are cash grabs, that are terrible, where the actors aren’t really in it. But, most BLs in Asia are one season, they get in, they get out, and you forget it if it’s bad, or you hate it forever if it’s objectively bigoted. But the time commitment to terrible pieces is a lot shorter. 

That said, when you have a low budget, and a story you want to tell, it makes my love so much more. Because it means the crew, the writers, the director, and often time the actors are there because they want to be there, because they like the story they are telling, because they have a story they want to tell. It’s part of why I love shows like The Eclipse so much, because that show was made with a budget mainly comprised of pocket lint and hope, because Golf Tanwarin had something they wanted to say.�� Most if not all of Aof Nopparnach’s shows give genuinely, inherently queer stories that speak to queer people. Jojo Tichakorn makes pieces that are so full of queer lenses you could never deny the inherent queerness in his shows, even if the story is primarily focused on a straight person/relationship (Mama Gogo). There are so many shows in the Asian BL world where you can just tell that everyone is having fun. LIsten, Fish Upon the Sky is an extremely problematic show, but for me it felt like everyone had a great time goofing off on that set. You can tell EV-ER-Y-BOD-Y in the cast of Mama Gogo  was having the time of their motherfucking lives. 

I also think the West is very self-congratulatory and tends to hold themselves as the standard of televisions and acting, when I am over here watching Asian BLs with some of the strongest acting from young people I have ever seen, and having it be written off because its a) low budget b) gay and c) in another language. Like, when I try to get people in to BL I start with shows like KinnPorsche (which I know drives @bnegiyo mad) cause it has a much higher production value than many other Asian BLs without being prestige and therefore can’t radically alter the perception of what BL is (hello ITSAY/IPYTM and 180 Degrees), Thai BLs especially. And I figure that is the only way to show someone the level of absurdity and camp that comes from a lot of BLs, while also maintaining their interest because it has a higher production value, so that if they end up enjoying that they are more willing to watch the low budget shows. 

TL;DR: Many Asian BLs are pretty low budget, compared to like any Western show, which I find to mean we have more stories in Asian BL that people actually want to tell. (there are still very many shows that people seem to just kinda show up for, or get bored with partway through [looking at you Tee] but.)

Reason Four- Abundance

There are 

So 

Many 

Asian 

BLs 

Here's a fraction of my watch list

I have watched 81 in roughly the last year, and there are so many more on my Plan to Watch list, and there are more coming out all the time. The West has given me like…two, maybe three. And when we do get good queer shows in the West, they are frequently canceled before completion. Especially if they are on Netflix. 

We lost Sense8, fans had to fight for Out Flag Means Death to get renewed, The Owl House got cancelled by Disney after giving their main character a girlfriend, ND Stevenson had to write two ending to She-Ra and fought tooth and fucking nail to get the gay one, Legend of Korra had to save the gay kiss until the end just like She-Ra had to. If you want to get depressed here is a link to an article ‘50 TV shows with Lesbian, Bisexual, and Queer characters cancelled after one season’. Because most Asian BLs are meant to be only one season, we actually get complete stories, rather than ending with unresolved tension, or cliffhangers. 

TL;DR: there is a metric fuck ton of Asian BLs

Reason Five- Sex

The West, especially the US, tends to have a very puritanical view of sex (which makes sense because the Puritans were some of the first colonizers…I mean colonials…to murder everyone and occupy…uh, I mean settle the United States (I would also like to place blame on the Italians and Spanish [hey Columbus] and their Catholicism AND PROTESTANT CALVINISM that also influenced the pervasive societal views of sex and especially gay sex in the United States).  

With ever increasing homophobia and transphobia, so many shows are trying, in my own personal opinion, to garner empathy, sympathy, and acceptance for queer characters by cisgender and/or heterosexual viewers by making their queer characters flat, two-dimensional, virginal, perfect people. But homophobes and transphobes consider holding hands to be just as grotesque and inappropriate as full on porn. With Western, and especially US based, views of sex, many queer characters are sanitized, sex scenes are rare, and if they do exist at all they are usually in shows that have mature ratings. 

That is not the case with Asian BLs. Like, do not get me wrong, there are plenty of pure, virginal, don’t kiss, barely touch BLs out there, but because there are so many BLs, there are also plenty of shows with lots of physical intimacy and multiple make out scenes that aren’t maturely rated, as well as plenty of maturely rated shows that have multiple sex scenes AND CAN INCLUDE KINK WHICH LIKE!!!!! I rarely see in the Western media I’ve watched. Hell, Sense8 is a sexual liberation show that includes multiple orgies, but there is not even a hint of any other kink (besides whatever Dani, Lito, and Hernando have going on).

gif by @radishayuan

Meanwhile, The Warp Effect has fucking puppy play, Bed Friend has pet play, Laws of Attraction which has a couple pretty chaste kisses shows handcuffs to at least imply kink, there’s a ball gag and a fucking leash in Big Dragon, I haven’t seen it but Unforgotten Night has a lot of BDSM themes in it, Rain and Payu have a dom/sub dynamic going on, we have daddy kinks abound, I also haven’t seen this one but I know there is some belt bondage in War of Y. And even if it isn’t shown, kink and bondage specifically are often referenced in passing in shows with sex.

Also, there are very very very few Western shows I have seen that treat sex workers kindly, and Jojo Tichakorn is right there giving us sex workers as main characters multiple times in a row. Taiwan has great physical chemistry, the very few things I have seen from the Phillipines are so fucking queer, Japan even when they aren’t including sex at all have some extremely queer narratives, and when they are including sex? Holy fuck. South Korea is developing, but I have liked what I’ve seen so far, and it’s been fun seeing very rapid progressions in the level of physical intimacy characters are allowed to have, Thailand has been making a name for itself.  

TL;DR: There is a very broad range of physical intimacy in Asian BLs from no sex to lots of sex, but the abundance of content means I am seeing more shows with gay sex in them in like…a month or two, than shows I have seen in the West with gay characters at all in like…the past year. (This is of course, subjective, don’t ask me for real numbers). 

And, you know, in case this response wasn’t long enough, the amount of queer content, the types of stories being told, the rapid and continued development of BL is super interesting to observe in its own right. Sure, it may be driven by marketability and sales, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some truly important, realistic, vital, and beautiful pieces of queer media being created and shared with the world, a lot of which is much more accessible to audiences than Western media. I go heavy on the Thai shows in part because they are available for free on YouTube. 

I also think the West seems to think that having gay marriage is the be all, end all of queer inclusivity, and that they do not realize that countries without gay marriage are creating some of the most realistic queer content out there right now. The West has a lot it can learn from Asian BLs, but in my opinion, we’ve got our heads too far up our asses to be following their lead.

[aimfor-theheart]

Act III

|| kaeya alberich x afab!reader || E/18+ || hurt/comfort/fluff || wc: 22k || masterlist ||

When you, a beloved artist and performer of Mondstadt, attract the attention of the Fatui, there is only one person you seek out for help; the infamous Cavalry Captain of the Ordo Favonius, Mondstadt's beloved bastard.

minors and ageless blogs dni, 18+

❀ for you are the world (as i am in pieces) - @lorelune ❀

a/n: a whole ass year later and i have finally finished this behemoth of a fic. i will be including an intro of sorts below the cut, but the rest you will have to read on ao3! it just got too big! but i am sooo so so happy to have it done though. if you are still reading all this time later, THANK YOU! thank you for reading and thank you for waiting! and of course, thank you to my beloved @lorelune who beta read this last part and has offered me constant support and feedback!! also go check out their diluc fic (linked above) as part of this collab — it's really wonderful! i would love to hear how you feel about this ending/what you think!! enjoy!

tags: afab reader (she/her pronouns but is rather gender fluid/binds her chest sometimes and presents both femme and masc), alcohol use, kidnapping, mentions of stalking/full on stalking from the fatui to the reader, emotional smut, mentions of heartbreak/abandonment issues, bodyguard au technically, fake dating au technically

SCENE I

On the sloping, icy bends of Dragonspine. The sky is gray, snow cutting across the landscape in large, harsh flakes–the wind howls like a lone dog. You stumble through the snow, shivering harshly, gripping the fur of Kaeya’s coat around your shoulders like a lifeline. Dark blots of Fatui members urge you to keep walking. 

Your teeth chatter relentlessly. 

Out of fear or cold, you can no longer tell anymore. You have resigned yourself to focusing on one foot in front of the other. Stepping into thick, wet snow, and watching each foot carefully make ground. The wind cuts across your face viciously. You burrow down into the one relief you managed to grab–the fur of Kaeya’s coat. 

You think of him and feel the pressure of tears in your head once more. You sniffle. You stumble. 

The moment you do, you’re being barked at by a member of the Fatui to hurry up. 

Your legs are burning both from exertion and from the cold. You’re hardly dressed properly; they’d barely let you grab anything. They’d barely let you do anything at all. 

They forced you to write the letter; one of them had demanded that it felt real and there were no tricks to be had. In your haste and through your tears, you hadn’t been able to think of anything overly clever. No ciphers or sonnets or songs to uncover a true message to. However, you’d emphasized certain letters, tracing them boldly under the guise that the pen wasn’t working well, parsed through words that would give you those letters to form an easy message, one that you hope Kaeya would catch;

Help. Dragonspine. 

The letter itself had perhaps been too on the nose, perhaps a little too raw, but the Fatui member who had watched the argument transpire had urged you to mention it. To—

“Break his heart thoroughly, so that he wouldn’t dream of coming after you.” 

But you’d left your clues and now it was up to Kaeya to find them. 

To—to trust you, to know you—that you wouldn’t have left him like this. You wouldn't have left for Liyue. To know there is more than just the letter, but another one of your neverending puzzles. 

You hope he notices his missing coat. You hope he knows instantly that it could never be true, that you’re in danger. And you need him, now more than ever. 

Tears burn your eyes, pressing in your temples. Your throat aches. You’re not sure you have any more tears left to cry. They freeze out here on your cheeks, burn against your skin as the cold seeps into your skin. 

Even if Kaeya comes for you—even if he figures out your little message, it doesn’t change the argument. It doesn’t change what was said or what has become of the two of you. 

I don’t love you. 

The words ache fiercely, deep in your chest. 

You stumble. 

One of the Fatui members barks at you, harsh and sharp, to stand up. Get up. Keep moving. You grit your teeth. 

You force your legs to move, to make you stand. 

You keep walking. 

Tears break your lash line. 

The wind cuts sharply against your face, freezing them. 

Even if he’s a liar, does it matter?

If he can’t be open, if he can’t say it, then it may as well be as if he doesn’t love you, anyways. 

It’s all the same outcome. 

You choke on a sound, a whimper that could’ve been a sob if you had the energy for it. 

You sink your hands into the fur of Kaeya’s coat, gripping at it, desperate, and half-sick with your hope. 

With your despair. 

The shackles rub your wrists raw; something that subdues your Vision. You don’t even have your fire for warmth, can’t even call on the inner heat that resides inside of you. 

No, you think bitterly, mournfully, it’s just cold.

So cold. 

And you are alone against the harsh, gray sky. 

You breathe out, let it puff in front of you in a blast of small warmth.

One foot in front of the other. 

You pick your head up, you glance behind  at the world below—at your city and your land. You glance like you may be able to see all the way into Mondstadt, like you could see all you love now in hindsight, so far away. 

For a brief, rash moment, you feel like screaming, seeing how loud it would be. Would it echo across the lands? Would the winds carry it back to your city? Would your Archon hear you? Does he see you now? 

You turn back to face the winding slope of the mountain, like the curved, jagged spine of a dragon. 

You had never hoped to discover how the mountain received its name. 

One foot in front of the other. Deep breath. 

You cling to fur, half-sick with despair. 

With hope that burns and gathers in your eyes. 

***

❀ Read the rest of this part on Ao3 ❀

[heartshapedconchas]

everlong

chapter 1: patrol | ellie williams | 

summary — You knew Ellie Williams. You weren't close with her by any means, but you knew her. You knew that she had been dating Dina for 5 months when you arrived, and you also knew that you were fairly interested in her. One night after a day of patrol together, the two of you talk during a get-together. And not just about the normal trivial things you'd say every now and then to break the almost comfortable silence during patrols. You actually talked.

pairing — ellie williams x reader

warnings — femme-based reader, slight violence? reader is a lesbian, dina & ellie are dating (she doesn’t cheat dw)

word count — 1.8k

author’s note — Hello Hello, I have not written since about middle school so i’m so sorry if this is just horribly written (　ﾟдﾟ) Also I apologize if there are any mistakes/inconsistencies or anything like that. I was raised by an immigrant who’s English wasn’t perfect when he had/taught me so mine isn’t perfect either! So much for Eng being my first language LOL.

7:15 AM. The bright red numbers from your shitty alarm clock burned into your eyes as you decided to actually open them and make an attempt to wake up and start your day. You didn’t just wake up now though, you had been awake for the past hour or so; listening to the sound of Jackson slowly coming to life. Your body is still on its usual sleep-wake cycle from traveling on your own. Before you came across a few people and were welcomed into this community, your sleep wasn’t exactly a priority. Sleep was a luxury, you only got a few hours of sleep so you naturally woke up early even though you didn’t exactly need to. Which of course, was miserable but unfixable so far.

Deciding to actually function, you sit up with a sigh; and internally groan at the feeling of the frigid air compared to the warmth of your bed sheets. “Fuck that,” you mumble to yourself, and wrap one of the blankets around you and stand up. After dressing yourself in the appropriate kind of clothing for the mid-December weather, which was beautiful but fucking miserable, you head out to start your day.

Ellie’s coming with you on your patrol today, which wouldn’t be the first time. You two weren’t usually paired up, but you remember her from a few of your first non-group patrols. Actual conversation never really occurred between the two of you, you said hello when meeting up and all that shit; and talked about how to take out the infected that were in the area. But it was never more than that. Not a big deal though, it didn’t make a huge difference to you. Although, a part of you longed for more. Just a little bit more, even if she just asked you how you were feeling that day or if you had any plans. One time during one of your very first patrols you attempted to shoot and ride at the same time; which evidently failed as you got knocked off by a runner. Ellie took care of the infected that had knocked you off, but she had pulled you to safety before doing that. She was grabbing you by the arm, yanking you behind her. After that, for some reason, you couldn’t stop thinking about her grabbing you. Her touching you. You replayed that moment in your head over and over again, even after arriving back in Jackson that day.

But Ellie had been with Dina for 5 months at that point. You had just gotten there, you didn’t already want to tarnish your image with the idea that you’re going after a taken woman. That would fucking suck. That and the fact that it's just plain wrong. So you just took those feelings and shoved them deep down inside you so they would never see the light of day.                                          

“Hey {name}, you signing in? I grabbed Lady from her stable for you already! ” someone else getting ready for a patrol said as they saw you. “Oh, thank you! And uh yeah, just waiting for Ellie. Have you seen her, she's usually the first one here?”

Almost as if on cue, Ellie walked in. Her face was slightly red, and it looked as if she was frowning; her eyebrows furrowed as she mumbled something to herself that you couldn't hear. “Maybe she’s not a morning person,” you thought to yourself, “maybe we have that in common. God, I hope it doesn’t affect her attitude on this patrol, I really don’t feel like dealing with that shit right now.”

You gave her a small wave and a slight smile, and she gave you a nod of acknowledgment as she grabbed Shimmer from her stable.

“You ready? This shouldn’t take too long, this area never really has any infected.” She handed you a map of the route since you’ve never been on it before, and she didn’t want to deal with you getting lost along the way.

As you saddled your horse you took a quick glance over the route, “Hm, yep. Seems easy enough!”

She gave you a small smile, finally. “Alright, let's go then. I just wanna get it done quickly.” And with that, you mounted your horses and headed for the gate to leave.

 The ride was quiet for the most part, aside from a few comments about the weather or a random animal one of you saw. It was really pretty too, you were kinda upset you had never come along on this route before. No infected to take out and good scenery? It was perfect, completely serene.

There were, however, buildings you had to clear of course. And this one seemed rather large and broken down, it almost looked like some sort of gas station or store like that. All of the entrances were blocked by something so you had to figure out a different point of entry.

“Hey,” Ellie motioned towards an open window with her head, “over here. I’ll boost you up and you can help me get in.”

You silently nodded and jumped off Lady, patting her on the side once before jogging over to said window.

She bends down, links her hands together, and nods up towards the opening, “Okay, up you go.”

Stepping onto her hands, she pushes upwards and you’re able to grab onto the very edge of the window. “Fuck, I think I need a little bit more help—it’s a little too high for me to reach.”

Another touch. This time she grabbed onto your leg to help boost you up more. It wasn’t your lower leg though, it was like—The directly below your ass leg area.

Your breath hitched and you were finally up through the window; standing on what you assumed was some sort of storage unit. After helping Ellie up, you turn on your flashlight and start looking around. There wasn’t much really, you found a few extra bullets and some supplies. Plus an old corpse, which wasn’t too pleasant of course.

“So..” Ellie suddenly interrupted the comfortable silence that you two usually experienced during your patrols, “you coming to that party at the church tonight?” Oh. Oh. That's more than the usual small talk.

“Ah, yeah actually. I planned on at least stopping by if I wasn’t too tired. Why? Did you get ditched by Dina?” You said with a slight laugh.

Ellie bit her lip, almost as if that was partially true, “Mn no, was just wondering.” she shrugged and turned to open another door to see if the room was clear. You raised an eyebrow at her before turning to do the same and see if your room was clear.

It was definitely not clear. As soon as you creaked open the door, a clicker rushed out at you. You stumbled back, grabbing your gun from your leg holster and pointing it at its fungi-overtaken head. But you couldn’t aim steady, so much was happening so fast and you were shaken from being jumped by a fucking clicker.

“{reader}, watch out!” Ellie screamed as she ran towards you and the clicker, who was on top of you now. You were barely able to keep it away from your face, its mouth biting down on air as it failed to reach your skin; loud screeches disorienting you even more.

“Fucking— get it off!” Jesus christ this thing was fucking strong. You weren't weak but you’d have a hard time if you were rushed suddenly like this. Ellie grabbed the clicker off of you and shot it once in the head, and it fell to the floor beside you limply.

“{reader} , {reader} are you okay? You’re not bit are you?!” she said panicked, her voice urgent and unstable; and she kneeled down in front of you so you were face to face. “Yeah…yeah, I’m fine.” but you winced. Your face felt..wet? Reaching up to your left cheek you touched where it felt damp, and when your hand drew back you found your fingertips smeared with blood. Were you bit? Maybe you don’t feel it when it happens, and that's why there’s always that dramatic moment in the cheesy old zombie apocalypse movies where the side character realizes they’ve been bit later on.

“Shit, it’s just a scratch but you’re bleeding pretty heavy,” she paused for a second, “I have stuff in my bag for that, you’ll be fine.” She shrugged her backpack off and rummaged around in it before finding a package of first aid supplies. She grabbed cotton balls and hydrogen peroxide before she began dousing them in the liquid.

“Alright this is gonna sting a bit.” she leaned in close and started cleaning your cheek. You know how when you would fall and hurt your knee when you were a kid? And your parents would pull out the rubbing alcohol and tell you it wasn’t gonna hurt at all. But it actually ended up burning really badly? That’s what it felt like, the stinging making you flinch and almost whine.

“I’m sorry, I know it hurts.” she looked at you with sympathy and continued cleaning, apologizing sweetly every time you would wince or groan. A minute later she was done, and she threw the used cotton balls to the side. “Alright, you’re all done. Feel better?” She got up after pausing to stare at you for merely a second and grabbed her backpack from the floor. “You okay to continue? I wanna get through this as quickly as possible now, I don't want that happening again.” She laughed a little, before reaching out her hand to help you get up.

The two of you finished the patrol, not finding any other infected aside from a few runners that you took down easily.  It started snowing at some point while you were scavenging for supplies in some small building and hurried out of there before it would get any worse. She didn’t ask any more questions as she did before on your way back through the route, she was quiet and almost nervous. She’d glance at you every few minutes or so, and just as quickly as she would look she would turn away from you.

The entire trip back home, you dreaded that party. Pulling your horses into the stable, Ellie hesitated before finally speaking for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

“So uh… you said you are going to the party tonight, right?” She looked almost hopeful as if she’d be disappointed if you said no.

“Oh, yeah!” You smiled, a bit too awkward for your own liking, “Uh.. see you there?”

She smiled and nodded, before handing Shimmer off to the stable handler. As you watched her walk away, you felt that same anxiety bubble up in your stomach again. The same anxiety you felt when you first saw the girl before you were informed that she was in a committed relationship. It almost made you feel sick to your stomach, it was that kind of excited anxiety that made you so giddy you could jump up and down and scream. But you couldn't. "Man I'm delusional" you mumbled to yourself as you followed Ellie's actions and handed Lady off, "She's just being friendly. No need to get excited."

No need to get excited.

Right?

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

I really love you're writing💞

I would really like to ask a request(if you don't mind,I hope you don't,everyone's been ignoring me😭)Obey me brothers reacting to a Mileena Mc from Mortal Kombat.If you don't know Mileena than It's ok.

Obey me brothers reacting to a maneater or femme fatale Mc with her playful,blood thirsty and powerhungry personality.

I hope I didn't bother you.Have a nice day,Ty🥰

Mileena Reader | Yandere Obey Me!

To say you're eccentric is an understatement. You brandish your sai(s) with ease, when you're not wearing the uniform your wearing your typical tight-fitting assassin attire. You often keep a mask on your face only ever revealing it when you feel your getting too attached:

“You scared of me, boys?”

Lucifer

“I’m sure you’d like it if I was.”

He’s genuinely worried 

Not about his brothers about you

He sees you often put up this act of confidence gained by scaring others or tricking them

In the rare moments he sees you, the real you, he wants the moment to last forever

“(Y/n) I love you for you.”

“Even with a face like this?”

“Especially with a face like this.”

“You’re a fool, then I could eat you alive if I willed it.”

“I’d let you.”

“Pftt whatever.”

He knows you put up a front and he doesn’t mind

But he wants the real you

So he kind of backs you up even when your crossing lines left and right

“Ahhhh Lucifer that human transfer actually tried to cut me!”

“I see.”

“Are you going to do something!” 

“It means she likes you…don’t get too cozy though.”

“Oh, Maaaammmoooonn?”

“Ahhhhhh.”

Mammon

“I-I am not!”

He’s certainly not lying

But he is the first to go from running from you to shyly turning on his back for you

Scary and loving are closer than you’d think for the avatar of greed

He knows you play him like a fiddle

Changing your playful voice to something warmer when you cuddle into him

Before switching back to your playful side again

“Now come on Mammon don’t you want this amulet? It's worth what again?”

“I-its priceless! A-a fashion time-piece that is going to sell for thousands no millions.”

“Then. Come. And. Get. It.”

“B-but you p-put it in your–next to your–”

“Are you rejecting my offer?”

“No! I’m coming!”

He’s the puppy you love to chase around and pulling on his leash is a part of the fun

Even when you reveal your face he’s not as phased as you’d hope

“Eh, I’ve seen worse.”

Take that as you will but he’s fighting anyone with something to say

“Oi. Don’t you dare talk about my human! If you do it’ll cost you.”

Leviathan

“Y-yes b-but will you do that voice of that character I like?”

Similar to Mammon you scare him and make him feel amazing

Somehow you show up in his room when he’s locked the door

Laying in his tub/bed when he goes to end the day

But he loves it more than he’d like to admit when you do step on him

Or tease him

You remind of a character from a battle game he plays

A Scarleena from Immortal Combat

“I’ve never heard of such a thing…are you enamored by her?”

“Well duh, I wouldn’t have bought her limited edition figurine model if I wasn’t.”

“Then do you like her more than me?”

“Uh-uh n-n-no. Y-your hands–ack–t-touching me!”

“Good. I was starting to think you would have hated me. Won’t you show me how much you care?”

“O-okay! Y-yes!”

He’s not as reliant on you as Mammon but he still relays how he feels about you when you play

“You look just like that character!”

“Levi.”

“Sorry, b-but I still think you are pretty…for a real-life, anyway.”

“Ara ara and I thought you were only into 2-D?”

*blushing fiercely* “W-well I can make an exception…only cause it's you.”

Satan

“Hardly.”

He’s intrigued by you

He’s not on the run from you but he certainly doesn’t understand you at first

You are his newest investigation

“So you're interested in knowing about me?”

“Yes. Any siblings?”

“Ugh yes, but I’d sooner kill her than see her again.”

“Well, we might have more in common than I originally thought.”

He’s right your help in his pranks against his brother is greatly appreciated

And he finds himself smitten when he sees you past your playful power-hungry actions

“(Y/n)...did you truly think I’d no longer be interested in you after seeing your face?”

“It’s not a bizarre thought, for you.”

“Then you must not know me well enough, dear.”

“Oh? Are you doubting that I know who I’m speaking to?”

“No. I’m doubting how thoroughly you investigated. Especially with a subject as willing as I.”

“Then don’t mind if I do.”

“Go ahead. I promise to be gentle.”

Asmodeus

“Oya? I’ll be really scared if you pin me now!” 

So dramatic it almost throws you off 

But on the best of days you both keep each other on your toes

“Promiscuous as always, Asmodeus?”

“You know it, darling! Now about showing me what’s under that mask…”

“Didn’t I tell you? I’d eat you if you saw.”

“But that’s exactly what I want!”

“I think there's been a misunderstanding.”

Now unlike the others who either don’t care or don’t mind Asmodeus does

“Oh…oh…my that is awfully….gnarly.”

“See. Now that you’ve seen I will–”

“Now hold on, don’t misunderstand you will always be pretty because it's you….but we need to figure out how kissing is going to work…hmm.”

“I see no reason to discuss something so pointless.”

“Nonsense, it should probably be fine if we stole the pair from that one model…it’d be convenient for the upcoming make-up launch.”

“Violence?”

“Yup!”

Beelzebub

*Munch Munch* “Huh? Did you say something?’

The answer is no

You can threaten him all you like or try to seduce him but he’s not budging 

“You’d do best not to hold me if you don’t want to have a chunk eaten off of you!”

“If that's what it takes to make you eat then so be it.”

“Stubborn, I’ll tolerate it if you can defeat me.”

“You want to fight? Fine but you have to eat first it's not healthy to do lots of exerting yourself without eating.”

“Grrrrr I’ll gut you for your incompetence!”

*Shifts to demon form* “If you're going to refuse me I will use force.”

You two don’t really get on the same level on your own 

Someone (Belphegor) has to mediate so you can clear up the misunderstanding

Its a wonder how you two still end up clashing at least on your end anyway

No one knows if he’s really seeing you or just putting his own thoughts on you

“So that's why you weren’t eating around me. Don’t do that again, I was worried.”

“Worried? For me? Best be careful your sentimentality may lead to your doom.”

“If it's really embarrassing for you we can eat away from everyone, I’m sure Lucifer won’t mind.”

“Are you deaf?”

“Nope but if you do have a taste for demons we can take a trip to the slums.”

Belphegor

“Only as scared as you are of me.”

“That would be none.”

“Good.”

You so easily affirm his dislike for humans

But more than he likes to admit he enjoys it every time

And so he fights with himself about what it is he likes about fighting you

The actual fighting or you

It turns out to be the latter as he finds himself waking with anger when you're antagonizing some other demon

“Don’t do that again.”

“What? Leave your side when you slumber? What am I? Your teddy bear?”

“Heh might as well be with how much I think about you.”

“What’s that? Are you admitting a surrender to your teddy bear?”

“Hah never!” 

To the naked eye, your relationship makes no sense 

but it doesn’t matter 

not to him at least

All that matters is that when he sleeps that your in arms-length

“From this point on, you're my human. *Yawn* So no picking fights without me.”

“And who are you to demand this of me?”

“Your demon Belphegor.”

[many-but-one]

Dori here!

Gender and sexuality when fused with so many folks is so strange.

For context I’m fused with five different parts.

-Jules (they/them, femme leaning non-binary, bi demisexual leaning toward women)

-Foster (he/him, genderfluid amab man, pansexual leaning toward men, very hypersexual, DTF with anyone anytime)

-Rebecca (she/her, cis woman, femme lesbian)

-Rachel (she/her, female child alter)

-Maribelle (she/her, female child alter)

All of the above loved feminine self expression so that is pretty obvious on where I land now. Sometimes the masculine side of Foster comes out of nowhere and smacks me in the face though and that throws me for a loop.

Simultaneously extremely hypersexual like Foster was but also don’t want to be touched by anyone except those I trust wholeheartedly like Jules.

Currently dating a butch lesbian, a bisexual man, and a gay man. I am bisexual and that seems to remain constant which is nice. It’s nice to have something constant, here.

Still sort of consider myself a gay man like Foster but also not? I like the term “twink” or even “femboy” to describe myself even though I look female in the IW, use she/her pronouns, and don’t like to be referred to as or considered a man. Describing myself as a femme lesbian doesn’t feel right even though I kind of am one by definition.

When with my girlfriend I am fine being considered a lesbian. But when I’m with my bisexual male partner it feels like a straight relationship. But when I’m with my gay male partner I consider it a gay mlm relationship.

My name IS Dorian but being called Dorian instead of Dori feels Weird. But it also feels Totally Fine That’s Literally My Name.

My brain really said “you’re never going to be able to figure out your gender or sexuality ever again, have fun with that” 😭😭

Which is FINE, I’m the happiest I’ve been probably ever in my life and it doesn’t bring me THAT much uncomfortableness but it’s still a real whiplash to be like “I’m a lesbian girl but I’m also a gay twink” and I don’t even know what to do with this🤣

Any other DID folks who have multiple fused parts in yourself have this struggle??

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen,

I hope this finds you well. I’m sixteen and I’m seeking advice. I am mostly feminine, but in the last year I’ve become increasingly uncomfortable with that, which has given me a sense of whiplash. I’ll be perfectly fine wearing a skirt and revealing top one moment, and then feel like I want to jump out of my skin the next. I know it’s normal to not have all the answers at my age, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

I live in a progressive city and was raised in a relatively accepting home, but I still struggle with my identity and have a hard time feeling comfortable with the word “gay.” I’m out to a few friends (some straight and some LGBT), but I still feel so alone. This, of course, makes me feel awful, because I recognize what a privileged situation I am in compared to a lot of lesbians, and I feel as though I “should” be more accepting of myself, i.e. I end up feeling guilty because I feel bad. Plus I’m all jumbled up about masculinity vs feminity… the point is, I could really use some advice from an older lesbian. I don’t know any of those in real life (actually, now that I think about it, I’m not sure that I know *any* lesbians at all in my personal life, which is pretty sad), and that makes it hard to envision any type of future for myself.

Thank you for your thoughts <3

It always makes me sad to read that young lesbians don't know any older ones in real life because I remember how isolating that felt. It was definitely one of the reasons I struggled so hard to be even just neutral about my sexuality and why I misunderstood being butch for so many years.

The butch/femme and masc/feminine discourse has gotten a bit out of control in large part due to the internet and social media. If you don't have real life intergenerational connections it can feel like ALL lesbians are on one side or the other of a very black and white line and that is just not the reality of real life.

I would say the majority of lesbians are "garden variety" or in the "comfy" zone of neither butch nor femme or neither masc or feminine. Just women who are lesbians and exist on the human level of having characteristics that are both stereotypical and non stereotypical as far as what culture assigns to us based on sex. Even butches and femmes do no necessarily check all the “boxes” the world thinks we should. 

My lesbians friends who are not butch or femme are comfortable in a wide range of clothing and hair cuts and it just depends on what suits them at the moment. Once we get a little experience under our belts out in the world we seem to learn to wear what is both comfortable and utilitarian without worrying about the perception of the outside world. When it comes to dressing up for an occasion like a date or an event I wear what makes ME feel best and while still balancing that with what I think women might find me attractive in.  I think it is a normal, common thought process shared with most other humans. We can choose what makes us feel good and still want to look good for others, especially other women. 

 I can assure you that, all jokes aside, no one can take your lesbian card for clothing choices, hair cuts or any other aesthetics. Your sexual orientation is what makes you a lesbian. Everything else is just being human.  Don’t mistake the community or experiences you might share (or not share) with other lesbians as a requirement of your lesbianism. Those are perks but not necessary. 

If you were sitting in your lawn chair by a fire pit with a variety of other lesbians you would hear many stories about how we struggled with being okay with our sexual orientation and it is not necessarily dependent on any support or lack thereof that we received. While an aggressively negative or anti homosexual home life, family or religious background can certainly make accepting ourselves much harder, even those of us whose family and friends were neutral or supportive had internal obstacles to overcome. 

Few humans are free from the affects of the outside world, even before social media. In my youth, movies, tv, magazine and my peer group all had some backwards ideas about what being a lesbian is and applied incorrect moral ideals to it.   I had to put in the work myself for many years to come to terms with being same sex attracted in a world that attached negativity to such relationships. Once I had lesbian friends, especially older ones I saw hope in my future. 

You are okay just as you are. Your personality, aesthetic choices and hobbies do not have any affect on your sexual attraction and orientation so be you, enjoy what you like and be honest with yourself about what kind of woman you want to love and be loved by. 

I hope you find some lesbian friends of many ages. In the meantime my tiktok might help you see that lesbian life can be full of happiness, friendships and variety. 

[spandexual]

Hello! I’m sorry that today I come without any fun toku questions. I must say I enjoy reading your Boomger stuff on forsaken bird app! Love me a pathetic Blue also.

I wanted to ask whether you have a perfume recommendation for a beginner. I can’t tell you much about my skin, my usual preference at least so far is opposite of what your skin likes. I like citrus and jasmine and I know it isn’t suitable for your skin 😅 Current perfume I have might smell like citrus dish soap (I don’t mind it much) or simply citrus with its bitterness and freshness depending on a day. Yet my head might hurt from salt in perfume for example. Overall I might enjoy to smell a lot of stuff, but can’t wear anything heavy. Anyway, I thought you still might suggest something/know something good, you’re great at perfume stuff 🥰 Sorry if it is something hard, I understand if you can’t suggest me anything. ☺️

From your perfume recs I liked JHAG’s Not A Perfume because it is light and I think it suits me! At least it doesn’t smell like shit, lol (had this experience with Kenzo’s L'eau Pour Femme ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

I kind of feel bad for asking now, sorry I am that curious when my taste is so opposite. In exchange now, I’ll say about toku anyway. I think my fav watch thread of yours is Zenkaiger. It’s just such fun show and seeing you watch it was extremely fun also, you sold me on watching it myself! Also the throuple. I know one day you might write a fic for them so I hope a great idea will fall into your head eventually! I don’t have any in me though 😅

don't apologise, I appreciate that I'm being thought of as someone with good advice lol! Not A Perfume is a fave of mine too, it's a shame so many people have the gene that means they completely can't smell it. I think it's a really sexy scent!

As for jasmine, I actually really love it! I don't wear it a huge amount bc most of the time it's not paired with the heavier woodsier notes I like and like... I have a giant jasmine plant out the front of my house, so I don't miss the scent too much when I'm not wearing it. That said, I like Lush's Vanillary which as you might guess is a pretty heavy vanilla scent but it has a great jasmine note in it as well as tonka (and lasts FOREVER even on my perfume-killer skin, really, I could still smell it after 5 drinks and 4 hours of sweaty dancing at Emo Nite lmao so be careful with your sprays...), and J'Adore Dior is a girly classic for a reason. There was also a relatively recent Gucci perfume that I liked a lot but I don't remember which one it was and there are multiple that have jasmine in their ugly floral bottle range so you'll just have to try them all I guess lol sorry. These should all be pretty easy to find and try tho!

And I'm glad you're enjoying my Boonboomger thread (it's no surprise to say I love pathetic blues too right lol) and enjoyed my Zenkaiger one! Zenkaiger is seriously insanely good, Donbros gets so much attention and praise for being The Best Sentai Ever I think because it was just so many people's first sentai (and/or first Inoue toku, whereas I know him VERY well lol) and it was fairly unusual in structure while still being entertaining but Zenkaiger I think really deserves that title if you were going to choose anything from Reiwa because it is so sentai. I liked Donbrothers and I LOVED Kingohger but both of them clearly were going "HEH we're not like OTHER sentais!!!!" and Inoue for his part seemed to actively hate a lot of what makes sentai sentai lol. Again I liked Donbrothers a lot but lbr it's basically just one of his Kamen Rider shows but brighter coloured.

As for zenkai ot3... I would like to write something for them some day, but it is difficult to think of something when the show is just so cute. I'm not someone who's good at writing fluff, really, and they demand it. My speciality is political underhandedness, moral ambiguity and veiled but burning hot eroticism. I think John Toei made Kaguragi for me specifically

[my-castles-crumbling]

Something I find really challenging is the fact that i only started thinking about my gender identity after graduation high school. It’s been a year since I’ve been questioning my gender, and I finished high school a year and a half ago.

I feel as though I can’t fully identify as anything other than cis bc it’s taken me too long to figure out. I also feel like I express myself rather cisgendered as well. Like I am not masc in any way, but also not femme. Just me. Just a ‘girl’ presenting person, even tho I don’t believe I am a girl.

I also feel as though I’ll never be able to talk about my gender to anyone I know bc the second someone doubts me, I’ll just agree and be like, ‘you know what, it doesn’t matter’. Bc I don’t want to make it a big deal and I hate explaining myself.

I also feel like I doubt myself a lot.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense but I just needed to talk about it and your blog is the most safest space!

(Also, introducing myself as the Yellow anon as I’m always ranting and being an anon in your asks)

Hi Yellow!

Let me ask you something: I didn't start questioning my gender until after I graduated college. Does that make me less nonbinary? Did it take me too long to figure it out?

(I'm hoping you'll say no?)

Listen, I totally get that feeling. A lot of times, I feel like I wasted my teens being a 'girl' and trying to fit into the gender binary when I clearly don't.

But the thing is, this is when I figured it out. And this is when you figured it out. It doesn't make you any less of who you are.

As far as the way you present...gender identity and presentation are two different things. It's is completely okay to wear femme clothing and still identify as something other than a girl.

And listen, I get doubting yourself. It's so hard to stay true to yourself and your feelings, especially when people are doubting you. But remember that you are valid and important, and your feelings are real. Keep reminding yourself of that, and I'm here to remind you any time you need it!

<3 <3 <3

[askachroma]

OOC// Encouraged by exactly two likes and one comment, I am hereby giving you (a lot of) Faba and Knox hc’s under the cut:

Faba:

-Has a special interest in old electronics. Especially gaming electronics— he has a collection of old consoles which includes several game boys. If he trusts you to handle one, it’s the highest of compliments.

-Despises dry textures (chalk, balloons, etc). Keeps moisturiser on his person often to avoid dry skin.

-Deals with stress by taking baths. A lot of baths. It’s like a sacred ritual to him; he has a variety of different bubble mixes depending on the occasion, and scented candles to go with them that he’ll light around the edges of the bath. He’ll take in a good book, and he can be in there for hours.

-Very insecure about his height. He’s a little sensitive about his early receding hairline too, but the one thing that will really get to him is remarks about his small stature. He usually wears heels or wedges, or otherwise platformed shoes to bump himself up a few inches. They sometimes make his feet sore, which makes him grumpy.

-Has a serious weakness for muscles. “Secretly” wants Knox to fold him in half. Colress thinks it’s funny that Faba thinks he’s being subtle about it.

-Watches the wrestling channel a lot because of the above, although he claims it’s because he’s genuinely interested in the sport. He thinks no one knows the real reason. …In fact, everyone knows.

-Bisexual, but with a female lean. If Colress or Knox want to tease him, they know to wear trad. femme clothing, or make-up. …Especially stockings.

-Did drag once, and was actually kind of good at it.

-He and Colress met each other at a Unovan university while Colress was studying for his first Masters, and Faba was for his second. Colress was early twenties, Faba was mid-late twenties. There’s about four years between them.

-While he was at university, he and Colress were party of a DnD society and played with several other of its members. Faba took it very seriously.

-He got married when he was twenty-six ish, then divorced when he was thirty one. It hit him hard, and he stayed with Colress while he picked himself back up. Because Colress was there for him, Faba had/s a deep (platonic at the time) love for him.

-Neat freak. Unfortunately, neither Colress nor Knox give much of a flying fuck about how clean their living space is (unless it’s becoming unhygienic), so Faba does most of the housework simply because he’s the first to be bothered by the mess. Luckily, he doesn’t mind cleaning that much.

-Adores being physically pampered by his partners, especially receiving massages or having his head stroked. Such a cat.

-Good cook! Not like master chef level, but makes some nice dishes.

Knox:

-Enjoys, and is very good at, sewing, knitting and crocheting. He often makes little jumpers or hats for his Pokémon. He’s somewhat embarrassed of the hobby though.

-A terrible cook. They burn everything they touch, despite their best efforts. Although, they were never taught and have undiagnosed ADHD so can you blame them?

-Lived out of their car from age eighteen to twenty-eight. Occasionally they would stay over at Colress’ lab after the two met and became friends, and now at twenty-nine they’ve fully moved in with him. They’ve still got their car though. They adore that car- even though it looks and runs like utter garbage.

-He and Colress saved one another many times early on in their friendship, which lead them to become close quite quickly, even as things remained complicated between them.

-Has a phobia of bodies of water. Even a small pond is enough to make them nervous. All stemmed from almost drowning as a child. As a result they’re not the most comfortable being around water type Pokémon, although it’s mostly the fish shaped ones that upset them.

-Terrified of Pelippers. They were attacked by one once and it stole his fish and chips. He was not happy.

-Has a knife collection they’re very proud of, and keeps them incredibly sharp.

-Specialist in fire type Pokémon. He always liked the illusion of control that burning things, big or small, gave him.

-Heavily neglected and physically abused as a child that left them with mental and physical scars. It’s shaped them into a highly defensive person who is very distrustful of people.

-Trans-masculine and non-binary. Got his hormones from the gang he used to be a part of, as well as his top surgery. Now-a-days Colress gets him his hormones to spare him any hassle.

-A smoker but is trying to cut down, especially after realising Colress steals their cigarettes when he’s upset.

-He’s a mercenary. They got into the line of work young, as their older brothers were in a gang that Knox quickly also became part of. They’ve actually made quite a name for themselves in the black market and among evil teams, because of their ability to consistently deliver rare materials. Hey, they’ve got a lot of experience. Some notable teams they’ve done work for are: Team Rocket, Team Galactic (very briefly), Team Plasma (mostly for Colress), and Aether Paradise (legal work). They tried to work for Team Flare because they wanted a suit, but didn’t get the chance. They were quite bummed about it.

-Because they worked so widely between regions, they know bits and pieces of a few different languages.

-Despite being resigned to the mercenary life, Knox has always had a secret ambition to open a cat-Pokémon café.

-They have a spot for Pokémon, since their Pokémon were the closest thing they had to a family for a long time.

[dragonmarquise]

Bro i love reading your brc headcanons, do you have more about the futurism and eclipse crew members that date each other? I think i saw it mentioned in one of your posts and the idea lives in my head rent free

Ahhh thank you!! ;u; And I have a few for them! Maybe not as extensive as my other BRC ships but still.

Before I get into headcanons, just want give a shoutout again to this awesome art by @monkiinart which inspired me to ship these two in the first place! ;u;

So then, the two particular characters here, at least for my headcanons, are Nyx (FUTURISM spring palette, joins BRC in the post game) and Aquila (Eclipse summer palette, the one with dark brown hair).

First, the set up for them dating:

Nyx decided to just be blunt and asked Aquila for her number. Aquila of course thinks it’s just a trap, with the two of them being on rival crews and all. She challenges Nyx to a series of score challenges, five in a row, but is genuinely impressed when Nyx manages to nail all of them!

A quick script-thing of part of their exchange after Nyx finishes the challenges:

Nyx: So, am I getting those digits or what? Aquila: Still hoping for that, huh? You’re either very brave or very stupid. Nyx: Why not both?

That actually gets a laugh out of Aquila, and she figures, fine, why the hell not. They start texting/calling each other, and eventually go on dates, and then the rest is history!

And now other random bits:

Not quite related to them as a couple I think? But Aquila is femme and Nyx is butch, just saying. :u

At first, Nyx was pretty flustered around Aquila on their dates, partially in a “Holy crap I’m actually dating her now, what the hell do I do” kind of way. Which contrasts a lot with her usual calm and confident personality! Even after a while of dating, Nyx is still sometimes flustered around her girlfriend. Aquila herself doesn’t mind, she thinks it’s cute and will say as much. Which makes Nyx even more flustered most of the time, lol

Aquila does yoga and has gotten Nyx into it too. Nyx has also been getting Aquila more into video games, she’s found she enjoys turn-based RPGs the most.

Nyx tends to be snarky with others, even to friends and people she respects like DJ Cyber. Aquila is the only person to whom Nyx drops the snark. Likewise, Aquila is usually fairly dismissive of others outside of Eclipse, especially any rival writers, but with Nyx she’s genuinely respectful and kind. Not to mention they’re both very loving towards each other!

Favorite guilty pleasure for both of them is watching cheesy rom coms and romantic dramas together!

Aquila’s day job is as the director of a science museum in New Amsterdam. She loves it and often brings up science topics while she’s on dates with Nyx, like new research projects and discoveries across a whole bunch of science fields. She’s really happy with how Nyx is interested in this stuff too and can keep up with her.

Though, sometimes Nyx has to look up a ton of stuff afterward to get a better understanding of certain things they talk about. Usually with topics that she isn’t already familiar with. But hey, she gets through it for her girlfriend!!

Aquila has been meaning to try out cooking new recipes and stuff, but she would often put it off. Now that she’s dating Nyx, she has encouragement for cooking more, plus a taste tester for new recipes!

I mentioned in the FUTURISM post that Nyx sometimes gets into little prank wars with Cueball. She does “pranks” on Aquila too, but instead of like, scary or annoying pranks, it’s more like hiding positive and lovey-dovey notes for Aquila to find~

I think that’s about all I have… for now! If I end up brainstorming more stuff, I’ll either add them here or make a new separate post. :D

[chloedanvers13]

Y’know, what? No time like the present…

First and foremost, Happy Pride!!! 🧡🤍🩷

Second, I suppose a more-proper introduction is in order…

Hi! My name’s Chloe! (I suppose the username tipped you off to that, but I digress.) I am a 30-something trans-femme demi-sapphic woman living, begrudgingly, in the American MidWest.

I am a massive nerd (pop-culture, DC Comics, Music, among others), and well… as you can see also, my chosen last-name is Danvers… so I’m not even gonna lie when I say that my personal inspiration for the kind of person I want to be is Kara (Zor-El) Danvers herself. [Doesn’t hurt that I dumb-lucked into finding my personal Cat Grant… tis the silver-est of linings.💜☀️]

I am a fledgling writer, though I have largely been in a 10ish year slump of writers block… currently trying to claw my way out of it starting with what has been my brain’s salvation these last few years: fan-fiction.

And in that vein, I figure, how better to get to know me, than to talk about my favorite ships, and why they resonate with me. So, let’s do this. :)

Bechloe: My first ship, even though I didn’t realize it at first. I’ve come a long way as an individual, so much so I watched Pitch Perfect the first time and saw 0 sapphic subtext between Beca and Chloe. (That is VERY much not that case now, I assure you. Lolz) So, why them? I’m a sucker for a grumpy/sunshine dynamic (we will revisit this later, I assure you. Lolz) between two women, and especially watching the sunshine warm up the grump a little. ❤️

Also doesn’t hurt this ship’s chances that this Chloe is THE Chloe that my name comes from… aspirationally, that kind of girl is inside me, but life has made me a bit more of a Beca, if that makes sense. Lolz

SuperCat: I could go on for days about them. Once again, Grumpy/ Sunshine, and I mean, I am literally a Danvers, so… lolz. Suffice it to say, they are a pair put on my radar by ‘My’ Cat…. And I have not shut up about them ever since. Seriously, the fact my partner still encourages it is a Raosend. Lolz I won’t go into much more detail, because my writing will do that for them, in spades.. whether it’s SuperCat, or AstraCat…. (No, not Aunt Astra… but consider this a tease for my SG-rewrite. ;) )

Chenrich: “Life is Strange: True Colors” is my favorite game, of all time. I’ve platinumed it, and I’m working on the perameters of a playthrough that gives me different challenges. But all that being said, when I see Steph and got her vibe, I burst out in a laugh and called it my “discount Beca Mitchell dating simulator”.. and I was not disappointed. ❤️ (btw, my canon ending? Alex and Steph stay in Haven Springs, and get the Black Lantern and turn it into a nerd bar… maybe one day I’ll write it. Who knows? Lolz)

Avalance: this is my semi-unexpected one… my brain is almost always in National City.. but these two, they grew on me, so hard. It doesn’t hurt that my partner broke my brain by telling me she saw a lot of Sara in me… and it took me years to finally see it too. (Though I will always, shamelessly, be a Kara… lolz) Co-Captains for life, babe. 💜☀️

Alright, that just may be enough to prolly not tell you all that much. But I’m an open book! And my asks are actually open now. Lolz

Alright, one more random thing, because why not? So… when I world build, I sometimes go to weird tangents… like, I may not have fleshed-out plot-lines… but I have 3 seasons of villian progression, and I’ve created the ice cream flavor made for her by a grateful National Citizen… (it’s “Swirl From The Stars”.. Fic is a lifesaver, swear to Rao. ☀️)

Alright, I’ve rambled on enough. I hope this finds all of you well, and once again, today and every single day ever…. Happy Pride!! 🧡🤍🩷

El Mayarah,

Chlo. 💜☀️

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Why Am I The Last To Notice That Soundwave (from EarthSpark) Has Large-Hips...?

[Note: Don’t Reblog This Without Permission] 

I can’t help but have the word “Mom-Hips” pop into my head when finally noticing how large Soundwave’s (from EarthSpark) hips are....

okay even though not everyone who has such large hips, will automatically be a “Mom” but after seeing some fan art of Soundwave from EarthSpark, and then I had to double check from a image of Soundwave from the show to see if his hips are in fact like that........and well, it seems to be true.

why is it I’m the last one to finally notice this, even if I did see the episode but this....oh my gosh, the whole “Mom-Hips” comes to mind and I know that is just me being weird, and well I can’t help but view TFA-Soudwave as not being 100% the same as the Original Soundwaves like from TF-G1, TFP and even Earthspark, because TFA-Soundwave is more of a Soundwave Jr. to me now, like Soundwave Sr. could be like a Dad figure to him....

wouldn’t be surprised if Megatron based Soundwave Jr. on a Decepticon he use to know who had the same name as him, like some of Soundwave Jr.’s blueprint designs being based on the Original Soundwave, and the Original one could look like a TFA version of the Soundwave from TFP...

well Soundwave from TF-G1 and TF-Earthspark, is technically Frenzy, Rumble, Laserbeak and Ravage’s Dad/Sire...

and given how the IDW had made Scorponok the whole Fanon “Carrier” into Canon....

seriously, I can’t be the only one who had figured out that even if I had to look it up and find it out myself and sometime I need to read the full comic sometime...

that Scorponok had just made the fanon into canon, the Transformers becoming Carriers has become canon, I repeat, it has become canon people, this is not a drill! XD

well at least Soundwave doesn’t have to worry about some people pointing out how big his aft is, I mean that can be a bit embarrassing to some who don’t want it be point out.....it’s one thing when it happens in a fictional movie or show or a book, but it happening in real life can probably be real life embarrassing...

it’s like even if I did end up losing a lot of weight thanks to that first depression that happen in 2015, why couldn’t I.......no, never mind...forget it...

but the point being it might be possible that some Mech and Femme will have large hips, that I guess could be seen as “Caretaker Hips”...           

Scorponok has already made the whole “Carrier” thing canon, so we know the hatchling/sparklings will be carried and be visible by the chest area of the Cybertronian...thanks to Scorponok....who shouldn’t be confused with the one from Beast Wars. 

and of course the thing that pops in my head, after finally realizing and noticing that Soundwave from EarthSpark has large hips, is that the whole he has “Mom-Hips”.........which once again, I know not everyone who has large hips are automatically Moms.......but it fits Soundwave, since his technically a parent.

a Caretaker in theory, is the Sire/Dad or Carer/Mom who takes care of the young ones, like the hatchlings or cassettes.

while their life-partner is off at work, and if they both have work, then the Caretaker will find someone to babysit, but they are still the Caretaker.

no matter if they are the Mentor, Sire or Carer.

and yes I am very much aware it’s weird to view Soundwave having “Mom-Hips” I’m weird enough to have that thought pop into my head...XD

I already talked about in another post on my view on Megatron and Optimus from EarthSpark, technically being Eon-Boomers. 

and don’t misinterpret the whole “Mom-Hips” thing, like I had pointed out before.

I don’t like it when some of the things I say gets misinterpreted in a very wrong way....and depending on how it is, there can be hurt feelings on both sides.

which is why I want to try a bit better to make sure my words don’t get misinterpreted....at least I am trying to.

well my having the whole “Mom-Hips” pop into my head when finally realizing that Soundwave from EarthSpark has large hips...

isn’t the weirdest thing to pop into my head...

that would be calling Optimus from EarthSpark, a Himbo Prime.

and maybe me calling Megatron from EarthSpark, a Sweetie Energon-Pie.     

[riley1cannon]

Trick or Treat! Thank you 🎃🎃

Yay, thank you! Here you go, a little bit of a BBC Sherlock/ACD canon mash up fic I started once upon a time, and occasionally think about completing. It was meant to be for Halloween, in fact, with thrills and chills (so I hoped), so it seems appropriate:

Sid sat up straighter and reached for the pile of documents he had deposited on the table among the tea things. “They are, yes. Don’t you see, Dr. Watson, these faux societies modeled themselves after the Société des Corps D'elite. The Société des Corps D'elite is who the Illuminati and all the others aspire to be. Mr. Holmes, Dr. Watson,” Sid earnestly appealed to them both, and there was something so authentic in that gravity of manner that Sherlock almost wished he could believe him, “I realize what I’m telling you sounds fantastic but if you would only look at my evidence,”—here came another sheaf of papers, some typed, some handwritten notes, all stapled and clipped together—“you would understand. Here,” he pulled one document free and held it out, “just look at this. It clearly shows the connection between the Society and the Hellfire Club--”

“No.” Sherlock held up a hand to forestall him. He had heard enough now. “No. We have gone from cryptids and sacrificial rites to Spring-Heeled Jack and the Illuminati, and now arrive at Sir Francis Dashwood and the Hellfire Club? No, enough.” He extended a long arm, finger pointed at the door. “Leave, now.”

“Mr. Holmes--” Sid stood and began to gather his papers and books. He dropped some, and then dropped some more as he stooped to retrieve the first batch. “Mr. Holmes, you are making a terrible mistake. This is real. You must look into it.” He continued to implore even as Sherlock escorted him to the door. “Culverton Smith and Grimsby Roylott are the Society’s most treacherous agents but Baron Gruner’s up to his neck as well, and--” He broke off then as though he finally grasped his failure to make a convincing case. Disappointment and a kind of fatalistic resignation crept over his expression as he murmured, “I expected so much more of you, Mr. Holmes.”

Unaccountably stung by that last comment, Sherlock shut the door firmly as Sid Persano took his leave at last. He waited a moment and then crossed quickly to the windows where he plucked aside a curtain to watch as Sid emerged from 221 and stood, hapless and forlorn, on the sidewalk. As John came over to join him, Sherlock asked, “Is this where you tell me that was a bit harsh?”

“Thought that could be taken as read.” John peered out at Baker Street where Sid still lingered, shifting his bundle of papers and books. “He does need help.”

“Consulting detective is not a term synonymous with psychiatrist.”

“And just because someone has an irrational obsession doesn’t mean they can’t be in real danger.”

No, no it didn’t. And Sherlock couldn’t deny that the one thing that had rung crystal clear and authentic throughout the entire interview was that Sid Persano was profoundly afraid.

And because I feel extra generous (and am bemoaning that once again I didn't have anything to post for Halloween), here's a preview of a fic I dearly do want to complete one day:

~Vampires of Gotham~

Klarion the Witch Boy was infuriated...

“Pfft!” He spat at the television screen as the local news carried on with its coverage of Casey Stirling’s appearance in Gotham City tonight. Author of the inexplicably popular Grymwood Chronicles, this Stirling woman was scheduled to do a book signing at the Page Turners book shop where her latest volume of hackneyed paranormal twaddle would make its debut.

Would Eden Cordray, tortured vampire with a soul, finally proclaim her love for dashing adventurer/inventor Ransom Wingate? If she did, how could Eden ever resist the temptation to turn Ransom and keep him at her side forever? What of brooding and beautiful Father Alexi, torn between devotion to God and the charms of that femme fatale of a sorceress, Isidora Thane? Had the twins, Verity and Jack, finally unearthed the truth of who had murdered Professor Farradine two books ago, and why? And could the true mastermind behind everything be quiet and unassuming Cecily Dillane, everyone’s best friend and confidant, keeper of all the secrets?

Not that Klarion cared a whit. He had neither read any of the novels nor watched the equally successful films based upon them. His knowledge had been gathered as he lurked on fan sites filled with endless chatter on these and many other matters. The sheer minutia of these fans’ obsession often came near to driving him mad. To gain some relief, he sometimes responded to their postings anonymously to correct misconceptions about sorcery, vampires, or the djinn, or simply to point out how thoroughly feeble minded they all must be, always in an ultra-supercilious manner so as to guarantee the most dramatic hissyfits and demands that he go be a troll elsewhere.

This amusement had its limits, however, and as he watched the zealous acolytes of Casey Stirling lined up outside the bookstore, many of them costumed so as to mimic a favorite character, Klarion felt a powerful urge to do something far more profound.

 “What eldritch horrors should we unleash upon them?” he murmured as his cat, Teekl, curled itself around his shoulders and purred a suggestion into his ear—a perfectly wonderful, awful idea that made Klarion rub his hands together and smile with a glow of pure malevolence. “Yes,” he said as he warmed to it. “They dote upon these romantic incarnations of supernatural terrors but how would it be, eh, if the real thing walked among them?” This could make for glorious mischief indeed!

 “Come, Teekl, we have work to do…”

 ~*~

“Spoilers, Master Timothy,” Alfred warned as the boy persisted in skimming through The Necromancer’s Notebook. “We shall uncover its secrets soon enough,” he added and hefted his own copy as they edged ever closer to the front of the line.

Tim closed the book with noticeable reluctance. “I know I’m right about Cecily,” he said.

“We shall see.” 

Tim flipped to the back of his copy again, this time to check the page count. “Eight hundred and seventy-five… You know I can’t go online again until I’ve read the whole thing,” he said, a fretful note in his young voice.

“We shall apply our best efforts to the endeavor, never fear.” Where some books with such an inflated page count could easily be trimmed by at least a third and be none the worse for it, Miss Stirling was the rare author who truly delivered what was commonly known as bang for the buck. Alfred would not find it a chore to keep pace with Tim’s literary marathon.

“I still think you should have dressed up,” Tim said as he tugged at the collar of his own neat cassock, a twin to the one worn by the tortured priest, Alexi. “With your chauffeur's livery and a really cool pair of goggles you’d be just like Zedekiah Zane.”

Alfred appreciated the comment. Zedekiah was, after all, the most trusted confidante of Ransom Wingate. “Alas, I fear my cosplay days are long behind me, Master Timothy,” Alfred said and cast a look about at the colorful array of steampunk gothic adventurers, vampires, scholars, sorcerors, and others too numerous to catalog, “Besides, this family dresses up quite enough as it is.”