#and even the people that I probably could feel like they already have someone they do all that with

[totallyxtaurus]

Depollute me, gentle angel

Summary: Sylus is away on a business trip while you sink deeper into your depressive episode. Pairing: Sylus x gn reader Genre: Angst (I guess, I'm not sure lol) Trigger Warnings: depression, mental health struggles, anxiety, self-neglect, and hints of suicide A/N: Soo I was going to make a fluffy/smutty story but my PMDD hit me hard af and then BOOM, this. This was super hard yet easy to write at the same time probably because it's a self insert lol like this is literally me. Sylus' "perfect" persona does intimidate me and I grappled with the thoughts of "what if Sylus was real, could he actually handle this?" I hope everyone enjoys and please please please remember to take care of yourselves! 💗

Next

When was the last time you crawled out of bed today? Your stomach twisting, hunger pangs turn into nausea. But the thought of forcing your limbs to carry you into the kitchen for food feels insufferable. So, you stay buried in the tangle of unmade, unwashed sheets. A hint of fabric softener desperately clinging to the fibers, the stale scent of sweat and skin already taking over. Earlier, you pressed your nose into your shoulder, checking. The sweet floral deodorant from days ago (you think) has spoiled into something sour.  

Each day and sleepless night blend together. They become hard to tell apart, except when the phone rings. Work is calling again—probably to ask when you’ll be back in or to terminate you. You know you should care—you do care! Well, you used to. You liked your job; you were good at it. But does it bring you joy? Right now, does anything?

Everything feels like a chore that you can’t be bothered to attempt. Showering? The thought alone is exhausting. But thinking about the steps that come before the shower is enough to make you sit in your own filth. You reach up absently. Your fingers get lost in the greasy roots and tangle in the mess below. Dandruff flakes dust your pillow. You picked at your scalp while scrolling for hours. Anything to pull you out of this pit you’ve fallen into, for a moment of relief. Your stomach churns each time your tongue touches the slimy coating that has built up on your teeth. Panic spikes at the thought of cavities—the decay, a reminder of neglect. Yet, there you lie, paralyzed by your own anxieties. God, you want to move. You really do. But then you tell yourself, I’ll brush them after I eat, for sure. You know it’s a lie. But it makes the guilt easier to swallow.  

These bouts come and go, pulled in by a force you can’t escape—because you are the force. Like the moon dragging in the tides, summoning waves too strong to withstand. When you’re up, you trick yourself into thinking that you have it all together, like you’ve cracked some secret code. You throw yourself into work, into people, an endless loop on performance mode. Blissfully numb. Until the crash. The tide swells too high, knocking you under and swallowing you whole. Then you’re here, again. Bedridden. Isolated. Time slips through your fingers. Days, weeks—who knows how long. Until someone notices your absence. Usually, him. Then you have to explain why you vanished and begin to collect the pieces of you that have washed back ashore.

“You should trust Sylus more," your therapist had said, voice gentle but firm. “Let him in during these episodes. He wants to help you.”  

You nodded, pretending to consider it, not missing the way they emphasized the "want to help you" part. But the idea was absurd, laughable. Let Sylus see you like this? No, it’s better this way. You can keep your dignity and him, a win-win situation.

This episode—as your therapist calls it—came at the perfect time. Sylus is away on a business trip, conveniently absent when you’ve sunk to your lowest. He gives you roughly three days of no contact before the constant calls start rolling in. This time, luck was on your side, a twisted kind of luck, but still one that was to your advantage. You can’t even begin to imagine the horror that he’d feel if he saw you like this.

Undeserving. That’s the only word that comes to mind when you think of Sylus, especially in moments like these.

Sylus, the man who has everything—and if he doesn’t, he simply acquires it. Always composed, always in control. He’s the kind of person who seems to glide through life, untouchable. You can’t imagine him unraveling, not like this. No, if he ever stumbled, he’d just power through it. There are no obstacles he can’t overcome.  

Until you.

You are the only thing he can’t fix. A threat to the pristine world he’s built. Thankfully, he hasn’t seen you like this, and he never will. He can’t.

Your therapist says your way of thinking is the problem. You don’t let him in. You don’t give him a chance to understand. Your therapist doesn’t know Sylus like you do. What if he does understand—but secretly believes you’re too much? And knowing Sylus, what if he doesn’t leave, but worse—stays out of obligation? Out of pity?

Your chest begins to tighten at the thought, your heartbeat picking up. You’d rather disappear completely than let him see you like this.

But before you can spiral any further, the doorbell rings.

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

second chance. l Frankie "Catfish" Morales

Summary: you broke up after a quarrel, now you've met again

Warnings: angst, mentioning drug addiction, crying, breakup, mentioned Santi, some fluff at the end

A/N: I had to clear my head. I'm not proud of it, but I had to write something. Be gentle. Thank you for being here and reading these scribbles.

your feedback is very important to me and I want to thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. I secretly hope you like this story.🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

[my masterlist][Frankie Morales masterlist]

"Hi, you look good."

You didn't expect those words, but you knew that voice so well that your heart skipped a beat. A strange feeling filled your body, as if someone had suddenly stripped you of all your insides and left you empty. Even though the pub was filled with people, suddenly it was just you and him.

"Hi, Frankie." You replied, trying to keep your voice neutral. "You look good too."

A small smile appeared on his lips, he probably realized that it was just a polite greeting. A greeting for those who know each other. But you were more than that, right?

You didn't expect to meet him in this pub that evening. It was a strange assumption, because after all, you lived in the same city. However, when you break up with someone, and that breakup was like a hurricane and an earthquake in one, you don't usually try to meet them again soon.

And so it was with you and Frankie. Almost a year ago, maybe a little longer. And now he was standing in front of you. In a clean shirt and dark jeans, in a cap you knew so well. Brown eyes stared at you with the same attentiveness as before. He really looked good. Like he had a good night's sleep, eaten a few solid meals and... was clean.

"Do you come here often?" he asked, he noticed you looking around the crowd of people looking for someone with your eyes. "Um, are you here with someone?"

"With a friend." you replied. "Do you remember Sarah?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I remember. A girls' night out?"

"Something like that. But no, I don't come here often. I don't have much free time."

Frankie smiled, and a part of your brain woke up sending you a signal - you loved his smile so much.

"I always thought you worked too much." he said, winking at you.

"That's not it." you looked down and there was silence for a moment.

You felt embarrassed by his presence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. You had worked through all the bad feelings you had when you broke up, and you actually missed him a little. Did it make sense? You had broken your hearts, but you still missed him. Was it masochistic?

"I've been going to school for a while now. You know, I told you about it. Back in the day..."

Frankie's eyes widened with interest as he remembered what you were talking about. "No, shit! Really? That's great! You've wanted to do this for a long time, so good for you."

A warm feeling crept up the back of your neck, but you smiled widely. "Thank you."

Frankie bit his lip and nodded in appreciation. "I've always thought you were incredibly smart. So that's what's taking up so much of your time now? That and work?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I go days without a proper meal or... I'm sorry, that must bore you."

"No! Go on, darling."

The sweet nickname slipped out of his mouth naturally, and it was even more natural when he took your elbow and led you a little to the side so you could talk in peace. The smell of his cologne filled your nostrils, you knew it so well. Your body began to react with pleasant excitement to his presence.

"And what about you? How's life?" you asked.

Frankie adjusted his cap and let out a breath. "Good. Quite good." he replied. "I changed companies, and now I have really good conditions."

"That's great."

"Yeah, I think so too."

It was late when he got home, but he could feel something was wrong from the very beginning. All the lights were on, and the noises coming from the bedroom were rather unusual.

Damn it, you should be asleep already. He didn't feel like starting another row, and they filled these walls almost every day. However, he dragged himself down the hallway and gently pushed the door open.

Frankie didn't expect this. There was an open suitcase on the bed. He noticed a bundle of your clothes thrown into it in disarray. The drawers in the dresser and the wardrobe were open.

He cleared his throat and took a step, but at the same moment you came out of the bathroom carrying your cosmetics in your hands. You stood there paralyzed when you saw Frankie in the doorway.

Your eyes were swollen from crying, but there was something else in them. Anger and stubbornness, determination.

"What's going on?" he asked in a slightly hoarse voice.

You lifted your chin slightly. "What does this look like?" you asked as well, quickly approaching the bed and throwing your things into the suitcase. With a graceful movement you closed it "I'm leaving. It's over."

A cold shiver ran down his spine. He took a few more steps and put his hands on his hips watching you struggle with the latches.

"Come on..." Frankie began "It's late. Let's talk about this."

You didn't react. Something inside him boiled and he grabbed the handle of the suitcase, dragging it across the bed towards him.

"Leave it!" you hissed, catching it and holding it "I'm not joking, Frankie! I'm leaving! I've had enough!"

"What this time?" he replied a little too loudly "You're making a scene!"

Before the words left his mouth he already knew he had overdone it. Your eyes widened in a second.

You reached into your pants pocket and after a moment you threw something at him. The small bag bounced off his broad chest and fell silently to the carpet. He recognized it immediately.

"I found it in the car. You must have dropped it last time." you growled.

"It's not like that..."

"Bullshit!" Tears welled up in your eyes. "I've been hearing the same lies for months! I know exactly why you got fired! I wanted to help you, and you promised me you'd never... Ohhh!"

You grabbed the handle of your suitcase and pulled it to the ground, then headed for the door. You pushed past him without letting him grab your arm. Frankie had taken you to the edge. You'd been together for almost two years, and you really loved him. But his addiction was becoming more important than you. You asked, you wanted to help.

The therapist you found for him told you that Frankie had only been to see him three times before he stopped showing up at all. He told you that he went there regularly. Then there were the problems at work and he got fired, he started coming home later and later, and when you were looking for something that had fallen on the floor of your car and you found that damn bag - you already knew.

Your heart was breaking with every step, but you knew that Frankie needed shock therapy. You knew you couldn't...

"Frankie!"

You almost reached the door when you suddenly lost ground under your feet. Strong arms wrapped around your waist and Frankie lifted you up. You started kicking your legs.

"Let me go!" you screamed.

"You're not going anywhere! You can't!" he thundered, putting you down and turning to face him "You have to listen to me, it's not like that..."

"Shut up! You've been lying all this time! All this time!"

"Not when I said I loved you, hermosa."

"Oh! Cut this shit! This isn't love!" your face was full of rage, you wanted to hurt him, to stick a needle in him so hard that it would hurt him for a long time "You just needed someone to clean up the mess after you! Someone to pat you on the head and let you do all this! You needed a pussy you could fuck!"

There was silence. Frankie's hands were gripping your shoulders tightly, his eyes darkened.

"You know that's not true." he finally said.

"Yeah? And what of what you're saying is true? Nothing. Zero. I wanted to help you, but you don't care at all." you jerked away "Let me go, Frankie."

"You have to listen to me..."

"Let me go! Now!"

His fingers loosened and you slipped out of his hands. You grabbed your suitcase again and this time you reached the door.

"I love you." his resigned voice reached your ears.

"I'm not so sure about that anymore."

You took a sip of beer while listening to Frankie. He seemed excited about his new job, and the energy that flowed from him was simply positive. His hand would occasionally brush your arm or wrist as you both burst out laughing, his eyes looking at you with the tenderness you knew from the beginning of your acquaintance.

"I guess I'll have to go back now." You sighed, glancing at your phone. "I have classes tomorrow."

"Do you like it?" he asked, watching you text your friend back, informing her that you had to leave.

"What do you mean?" you looked up at him. Frankie shrugged.

"Your life. Now. Because it seems to me that you're different. More fulfilled? Happier?"

"I don't know, I haven't thought about it to be honest."

He nodded, his hand shyly finding yours. "Can I give you a lift home?"

You agreed. Maybe you shouldn't have, maybe it was a mistake. But Frankie had somehow found his way to your heart, and you didn't want to part ways with him yet.

"When you left..." he began as you drove through the empty streets towards your apartment "It hit me. Really hard."

You clenched your fingers, but you couldn't look in his direction. But Frankie clearly wanted to talk, maybe he had been waiting for this for a really long time and could finally get it all off his chest.

"I drank for three days. I don't remember much from that period. Santi showed up at my place and... He told me something I'll never forget."

You could barely recognize your own voice. "What did he say?"

Frankie cleared his throat. "He said it was all my fault. That I was dragging you down, and you were trying to keep us both afloat the whole time. He also said that if I wanted you back, that if I loved you at all, I should do something about it."

Something tightened your throat and your eyes stung from the tears that were seeping into your eyelids. The car turned, you were already close to your apartment.

"I went to therapy. Santi took me there twice a week. It was a terrible time. He had to take my phone because I wanted to call you every day. I don't know how I managed to get through it without you."

"But you did it." You dared to look at him, a weak smile appeared on his face. "I'm so proud of you, Frankie."

"Thank you."

The car stopped. Your journey ended, and you got out, feeling like your legs were almost giving out under you. You whispered a quiet "thank you" and "I'm glad I saw you, Frankie." and then feeling like your heart almost jumped out of your chest, you headed for the door.

"I still love you."

You closed your eyes. His voice was clear, determined. You stopped, feeling like you could fall apart at any moment.

"Frankie..." you whispered, but he wouldn't let you do more.

He was right behind you now, you could feel the heat radiating from him. Your body reacted to his closeness.

"I knew you'd be at this pub today."

You turned around and looked at him, surprised. Frankie seemed embarrassed, but he continued.

"I met Sarah a while ago. We talked..."

He noticed a small frown between your eyebrows, "She didn't tell me anything..."

Frankie shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and shrugged, "I begged her not to tell you. Listen, all this year you were the only thing that kept me alive. I wanted to be clean again, but I also wanted to be able to look you in the eye again. I'm sorry, hermosa... I'm sorry you went through all that with me. It was hell, and you tried so hard to save me."

You couldn't stop the tears that began to flow down your cheeks. You didn't even react when a warm hand touched your cheek and he wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"I still love you, hermosa." Frankie continued. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop. But I know I can't expect that from you, not after what I did."

"You hurt me, Frankie..." you sobbed, you saw the pain in his eyes, the same pain you still felt in your heart. "I wanted to save you, I wanted to save us... Maybe I wasn't strong enough?"

"No, it's not like that!" he shook his head, taking your face in both hands. "It wasn't a job for just one person. I understand that now. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I let you down so much."

You instinctively snuggled into his chest. Damn, you missed him so much this year. Almost every day you wondered what was happening to him, or you thought back to the times when everything was fine. There were days when you hated Frankie, when you resented yourself for always having him in your heart. But now you understood - you had to fall apart to understand what was truly important to you.

Frankie stroked your back, repeating silent apologies, and you felt as if all the tension that you had in your body was slowly leaving you.

"You okay?" he asked when you finally pulled away from him, wiping the last tears with your hand and probably completely smudging your mascara.

You nodded, "Yeah. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

"Don't apologize, hermosa. You have nothing to apologize for."

There was silence for a moment. But it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, rather one where you were both trying to gather your thoughts. Finally, you were the first to speak.

"I'm so glad you managed to do all this. I'm really proud of you, Frankie. Now... Now your life will be different, better."

"You think so?" he asked, and you looked at him surprised. "I guess you didn't hear what I said earlier. I love you, and I don't know if I'll ever stop. But I know I can't force you to do anything. You listened to me, that's already a lot. Maybe that's all I deserve."

He must have already accepted it, except that he lost you, because before you could answer anything, he slowly moved towards his car. You watched him, feeling your heart pounding in your chest like crazy. You weren't even aware that you had opened your mouth, only the sound of your voice that cut through the silence brought you back to your senses.

"I'm finishing classes tomorrow after three. If you want to go for coffee, or..."

In an instant Frankie turned around "How about for lunch? You'll definitely be hungry, and you said you haven't been eating very well lately."

You smiled and nodded. "Lunch sounds good."

"Wonderful." He smiled too. That damn smile of his.

"So... Are we in touch?"

"Of course, hermosa."

With a slightly calmer heart you disappeared into the building, feeling that the smile didn't leave your face. 

Maybe a second chance really did exist? Maybe you too had a chance for a new beginning...

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[christopherisfoive]

Cold Burn (Chapter 4)

!idol reader x Seungmin; enemies to lovers

Word Count: (It literally won't let me move it from here lol)

Note: I wrote this super late last night and tried to edit my best but sorry if there are any mistakes, going back to drafting on docs because tumblr hates me. It has been a long week. Thank you for reading, I appreciate it <3 (it will eventually make sense i promise)

Masterlist

The city was alive with the midday rush, bustling streets and flashing signs lining every corner. It should’ve felt freeing after being cooped up in venues and hotels for the past few weeks, but even with the fresh air, I still felt off.

I adjusted my mask, letting my hood cast a shadow over my face as I followed behind my group.

It was supposed to be a day off.

But my mind was still playing back every mistake I’d made on stage during the tour.

I should have been enjoying this break. But instead, I was still holding onto every mistake, every moment that made me feel like I was losing control.

And then, like perfectly timed chaos, I heard it—the sound of cameras clicking.

Whispers turned into excited calls.

I instinctively pulled my hood lower, keeping my face neutral as the others started interacting.

A group of fans and paparazzi had spotted us, and before I could even process it, they were already approaching fast.

"Oh my god, it’s Stray Kids and Stellar!" one girl squealed, phone already out.

The energy shifted immediately.

Han, Hyunjin, and Leah engaged easily, smiling and waving. Bang Chan answered a few quick questions, even as security started stepping in to maintain a barrier.

Then came the actual questions.

"Y/N! Can you talk about your solo stage? People said it didn’t seem like your usual energy!"

"Is it true you don’t like performing live?"

"Are you okay? You seemed out of sync in the last show!"

I ignored them.

I always ignored them.

Instead, I kept walking, keeping my gaze forward, shoulders tense under my hoodie.

That was all it took to shift the crowd’s mood.

People started stepping in front of me, blocking my path, shoving phones and cameras in my direction.

The excitement turned to pushy persistence.

"Why won’t you say anything?"

"Y/N, just one word for your fans?"

I clenched my jaw and sidestepped them, but it was too late.

Someone moved in too close.

Before I could react, a fan—a girl, maybe late teens, wearing a hoodie with our group’s name on it—stepped right into my space.

"Why do you always ignore us?" Her voice was sharp, demanding.

I took a step back, my pulse spiking. Too close. Way too close.

She didn't stop. "Other idols talk to their fans. What’s your problem?"

Before I could respond—before I could even process how uncomfortable I felt—she lifted her phone closer to my face, snapping a photo at point-blank range.

I barely kept my composure, my breath hitching as I turned away sharply.

Security finally stepped in, blocking her as one of our managers started ushering us forward.

But the damage was already done.

I could already hear the murmurs.

"What’s wrong with her?"

"So rude."

"Seungmin would never act like that."

And of course—there he was.

I glanced up just in time to see him smiling effortlessly, answering questions, personally greeting every fan that came up to him.

Easy. Natural. Everything I wasn’t.

I could already feel his judgment from across the crowd.

To him, I probably looked like the worst kind of idol.

What he didn’t know was that I had my reasons.

And I wasn’t about to explain myself to him.

The second we finally got away from the crowd, I could feel the weight of the encounter still pressing on my chest. My steps were quick, my head down, but I could still hear the lingering whispers, the judgment heavy in the air.

I wasn’t sure if it was my own overthinking or if they were actually talking about me, but it didn’t matter.

The damage was already done.

As we turned the corner onto a quieter street, I felt someone fall into step beside me.

I didn’t need to look to know who it was.

"You could at least pretend to care."

I exhaled sharply, barely sparing Seungmin a glance before looking ahead again. "Not in the mood, Seungmin."

"Oh, I know," he said, voice casual but laced with something sharp. "You’re never in the mood, right?"

I clenched my jaw. "Drop it."

But of course, he didn’t.

"Seriously, what’s your deal?" He scoffed. "You act like it’s such a burden to interact with people who support you. The rest of us can handle it just fine. Why is it so hard for you?"

That did it.

I stopped walking, turning to him with narrowed eyes. "You have no idea what you’re talking about."

Seungmin raised an eyebrow, arms crossed over his chest. "Don’t I?"

I let out a sharp breath, shaking my head. "Not everything is as easy as you make it seem, Seungmin."

"No," he agreed, "but being decent to the people who made your career possible isn’t that hard."

The words hit me harder than I expected.

I had spent years learning how to brush off the criticism, how to let things roll off my back.

But for some reason, hearing it from him—someone who already thought the worst of me—made my blood boil.

I stepped closer, lowering my voice. "You don’t get to judge me."

"Then give me a reason not to."

The challenge was clear in his expression, in the way he refused to look away first.

I had so much I wanted to say.

But I knew it wouldn’t matter.

Not yet.

So instead, I just exhaled sharply and turned away, continuing forward.

"That’s what I thought," Seungmin muttered behind me, before falling back into step with the others.

I didn’t look back.

But the anger sat heavy in my chest, burning quietly.

-

The hotel lobby was quiet, save for the occasional footsteps of staff moving around and the faint sound of music playing from the lounge area. Most of the others had already gone up to their rooms or found their own ways to unwind after the long day.

I had planned to do the same.

Instead, I found myself sitting in the corner of the lobby, scrolling through my phone, letting the harsh glow of the screen burn into my eyes.

I knew I should’ve put it away.

I knew I shouldn’t have been reading any of this.

But my fingers kept moving, my screen lighting up with headlines, forum posts, and brutal opinions dissecting everything about me.

"Y/N is proof that visuals matter more than talent in the industry."

"Best 4th Gen Dancer my ass."

"She’s not even the best in her group—why does she get so much attention?"

"I heard she got her spot because of connections, not skill. Makes sense why she’s so stiff on stage."

"You really think she made it this far just by ‘working hard’? LMAO, be serious."

My stomach twisted, and I could feel my pulse in my fingertips.

The accusations weren’t new—I had heard whispers like this for years. But somehow, seeing it laid out so blatantly, with thousands of likes and shares, made it feel heavier.

Worse.

Like no matter what I did, no matter how much effort I put in, there were still people who would never respect me.

I barely noticed when someone sat down in the chair across from me, but I did feel the weight of their stare.

"You still look at that stuff?"

I flinched slightly, my thumb freezing mid-scroll.

I glanced up to see Jeongin, leaning back in the chair across from me, arms crossed.

I quickly locked my phone, shoving it onto the table. "It’s nothing."

"Didn’t look like nothing."

His voice wasn’t accusing, just matter-of-fact.

I sighed, running a hand over my face. "Just people talking. Same as always."

Jeongin didn’t respond right away. He just sat there, watching me like he was waiting for me to be honest.

After a beat, he exhaled, shaking his head. "You know none of that’s real, right?"

I let out a small, dry laugh. "Yeah, sure."

Jeongin frowned, his usual playfulness gone. "Y/N."

I forced myself to meet his eyes, but my chest felt tight.

I didn’t want to talk about this. Not now.

So I shrugged. "It’s fine. Doesn’t matter."

Jeongin studied me for a second longer before pushing off the chair, leaning forward to grab my phone.

Without asking, he flipped it face-down on the table.

"Then stop looking."

His tone was soft but firm. A simple statement, not a suggestion.

I swallowed, my fingers twitching slightly.

Jeongin sighed, his expression less teasing than usual, more serious. "Don’t let them win, Y/N."

And with that, he stood up, walking off toward the elevators.

I sat there for a moment, staring at my phone, my reflection faint in the dark screen.

I should’ve let it go.

But the words were still burned into my mind.

And I wasn’t sure if I knew how.

-

The burn in my throat started a few nights ago. Subtle at first, just a scratch that I figured would go away with enough water and rest.

Except, there was no rest.

Not when we were on back-to-back schedules, traveling city to city, rehearsing between shows, barely enough time to breathe, let alone recover.

I pushed through like always.

Now, standing in the middle of the rehearsal room, sweat clinging to my skin, I felt off.

The usual ache from training felt heavier today, my limbs sluggish, my breath coming shorter than it should have.

I rolled my shoulders back, ignoring the way my vision blurred for half a second.

I was fine.

Across the room, Jeongin watched me.

I caught the way his brows furrowed slightly, the way his gaze lingered as I moved through the choreography.

I knew that look.

I ignored it.

"Let’s go again," Chan called out, already stepping forward to reset the formation.

I exhaled sharply, steadying my stance, locking my body into position as the music cued up again.

But the moment I took my first step, I felt it.

The slight dip in my balance, the way my head felt lighter than it should have.

I corrected it immediately, moving into the next beat as if nothing had happened.

But Jeongin saw.

And so did Seungmin.

I felt his gaze before I even turned his way, a glance quick enough to catch the way his expression flickered—something almost unreadable flashing across his face.

For once, he didn’t say anything.

I wasn’t sure if it was the heat of the room or my own body turning against me, but every time we restarted the routine, my chest felt tighter.

I took a deep breath, forcing air into my lungs, willing my body to cooperate.

I couldn’t stop now.

Not when I had spent the last few weeks feeling like I was slipping. Not when people were already questioning whether I deserved to be here.

I needed them to see me succeed.

So I kept going.

Even when my legs felt heavier than they should have.

Even when my head felt like it was filled with static.

Even when I knew—knew—I was moving on sheer willpower alone.

I felt the weight of Jeongin’s stare first.

He wasn’t even being subtle about it anymore—I could see him watching between reps, his usual easy-going expression replaced with something more cautious.

But he didn’t say anything.

Neither did Seungmin.

I caught his gaze in the mirror, just for a second.

He was standing off to the side, arms crossed, eyes narrowed just slightly.

For once, there was no smirk. No sharp remarks.

Just quiet observation.

I ignored them both.

I had to.

The music started again, the pounding bass vibrating through my body, rattling in my chest.

I moved on instinct, letting my muscle memory carry me through—each step, each transition, each sharp hit of the beat.

But something was off.

I felt it before I saw it.

The moment my foot landed wrong, I knew. The angle was off, the weight uneven. My body moved a fraction of a second behind my mind, and suddenly—

I was out of sync.

Just for half a beat.

But in this world, half a beat was everything.

I immediately corrected, snapping into place, but the mistake had already happened. I could feel the eyes on me.

Someone spoke. "Y/N, what was that?"

I blinked, chest rising and falling faster than it should’ve been.

My mind scrambled for a response, but the words weren’t there.

I wasn’t fully there.

"I—" My voice sounded strange, distant, like it belonged to someone else.

Across from me, Ari’s gaze sharpened.

She saw it.

But she didn’t get the chance to say anything.

I sucked in a breath, forcing my posture straight, willing my body to hold itself together.

"Let’s go again," I said quickly, pretending nothing happened.

I needed to shake this off.

I needed them to see me succeed.

Even if my body had other plans.

The music thundered through the speakers, vibrating through the stage beneath my feet.

I kept moving. Kept pushing.

Every step felt heavier, like my limbs were fighting against me. My skin was damp with sweat, but I felt cold.

It was getting harder to breathe.

The stage lights burned hot, casting everything in a hazy glow. The air felt thick, each inhale tighter than the last.

And then—

The misstep.

The dizziness.

The moment my body finally gave out beneath me.

The floor rushed toward me, the sharp gasp of someone nearby cutting through the ringing in my ears.

The music stopped.

Someone called my name.

I barely heard them before everything faded to black.

The moment my body hit the stage, everything exploded into chaos.

The music cut off instantly.

Footsteps—rushed, frantic—pounded against the stage floor as voices overlapped in panic.

"Y/N!"

"Someone get the staff!"

I felt hands on me—someone kneeling beside me, another hand brushing my hair back, the fabric of my sweat-soaked clothes sticking to my skin.

I was aware of it all, but everything felt distant. Like I was watching it happen from the outside, my limbs too heavy to respond.

"Is she breathing okay?" Ari’s voice was the sharpest, her usual calm cracked with pure fear.

"She’s burning up," Leah’s voice trembled. "We need to get her offstage—now."

Someone lifted me slightly, supporting my upper body. The movement made my stomach turn, a weak groan escaping before I could stop it.

"She’s conscious," Jeongin said quickly, relief barely masking the tension in his voice.

A shaky breath. My lips parted, but no words came out.

Through the haze, I caught a glimpse of Seungmin standing a few steps away.

Frozen.

For the first time since this tour started, he looked…unsure. His usual sharp eyes were wide, his lips pressed into a thin line as if he wasn’t sure what to say.

But I couldn’t focus on him.

Because my head was spinning, my skin was on fire, and the weight of every mistake, every moment I ignored my body’s warning signs, had finally come crashing down.

And now?

I wasn’t in control anymore.

The coolness of the backstage area barely helped with the heat radiating off my skin.

I felt cold and hot at the same time, my limbs too heavy, my breathing uneven.

Voices blurred together.

"Her temperature is high."

"She needs fluids—has she eaten today?"

"She’s completely burned out."

I tried to speak to tell them I was fine, but my throat felt raw. The most I could manage was a weak, halfhearted shake of my head.

"Don’t try to talk," Ari’s voice was there, close, softer than before. "They’re just checking your vitals."

I swallowed, eyes flickering open.

The faces above me were blurry, shifting in and out of focus. A few staff members kneeled beside me, pressing a cool cloth to my forehead, speaking in hushed tones.

Ari, Leah, Jeongin, and Lee Know were still there.

Lee Know stood off to the side, arms crossed, watching the scene with an unreadable expression.

I tried to sit up, but the second I moved, my head spun.

A sharp inhale.

Lee Know was faster than Ari this time, pressing a hand to my shoulder and easily keeping me down.

"Not happening," he muttered. "Just rest, okay?"

Leah crossed her arms, clearly annoyed. "How long have you been feeling like this?"

I didn’t answer.

Because I knew the truth would only piss them off more.

Before I could gather enough strength to argue, the managers arrived.

Their voices were firm, no room for negotiation.

"She’s not performing tonight."

The words hit like a slap, and suddenly, the heaviness in my body wasn’t just from being sick.

I forced myself to sit up, ignoring the pounding in my head as I looked between them. "No. I can still do it."

"Y/N," Leah warned, eyes flashing with frustration.

But I wasn’t listening.

I turned to the managers again, pushing past the ache in my limbs. "I’ll be fine by showtime. I just need—"

"You just collapsed on stage," Ari cut in, arms crossed. "There’s no debate. You’re sitting this one out."

No.

No, no, no.

I had spent weeks proving myself, clawing my way through every performance, every mistake, every doubt.

I wasn’t losing my spot now.

"I can do this," I tried again, my voice hoarse. "I just—"

"Oh!" A voice interrupted, and I didn’t have to look to know who it belonged to.

Mira.

She strolled into view, faux concern plastered all over her face, hands clasped in front of her. "If she can’t go on, I can step in."

The air shifted.

For a split second, nobody spoke.

Then, one of the managers nodded. "That could work. You already know the choreo."

My stomach twisted violently.

Mira turned to me, her smile oh-so sweet, but her eyes telling an entirely different story.

"Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll take good care of your part."

I felt numb.

The room was still spinning, but the real sickness sat in my chest.

I should have fought back. I should have said something.

But the moment Mira tilted her head, smiling like she had won, everything inside me just… shut off.

I went blank.

Ari’s head snapped toward Mira, eyes narrowing. "You’re really volunteering that fast, huh?"

Mira turned to her, expression perfectly innocent. "What do you mean? Someone has to do it."

Ari’s lips pressed together, but she didn’t buy it. I could see the irritation tighten her jaw, the way her hands fisted at her sides.

She wasn’t the only one.

Lee Know, who had been mostly quiet until now, finally spoke.

"You sure you can handle it?" His voice was flat, unreadable, but there was something pointed underneath.

Mira smiled wider. "I mean, it’s not that complicated, right?"

Ari let out a sharp breath, like she was physically stopping herself from saying something she’d regret.

Lee Know just stared at Mira for a long moment.

Then, slowly, he turned to me.

"Y/N."

I blinked, but I couldn’t force words out.

What was I supposed to say?

Mira had already taken my spot.

Nothing I said would change it now.

So I just looked away.

-

The moment Mira stepped away from me, I could already hear her faking concern as she walked over to the others.

"Guys, change of plans," she said, voice just loud enough for me to hear from where I sat. "Y/N isn’t performing tonight, so I’ll be taking her place."

The reaction was immediate.

Kat’s face twisted in confusion. "Wait, what? Since when?"

Mira sighed dramatically, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Since about five minutes ago," she said. "The managers agreed, and I already know the choreo, so it just makes sense."

Hyunjin’s eyes flickered toward me, his concern obvious. "And Y/N’s okay with this?"

Mira didn’t even hesitate. "Well, she didn’t argue."

Ari scoffed. "Yeah, because she’s half-conscious."

The room tensed.

Mira only shrugged, smiling just a little. "Either way, we should start getting ready."

Lee Know, who had been watching the whole thing in silence, finally spoke. "Just don’t mess it up." His tone was neutral, but his expression wasn’t.

Mira’s smile didn’t falter. "Oh, don’t worry. I’ve got this."

And with that, she turned away, ready to steal the show.

I barely registered the conversation.

I barely felt anything at all.

Because the second they all turned away, the second I was left sitting backstage, my chest tightened in a way I couldn’t control.

I blinked up at the ceiling, forcing back the burning in my throat.

I had lost my spot.

After everything I had fought for—**after every moment I forced myself to push through, to prove I was worth something—**I was still replaceable.

And the worst part?

Mira was making sure I knew it.

My hands curled into fists, nails pressing into my palms. I squeezed my eyes shut, but it didn’t stop the feeling of failure from swallowing me whole.

I had fought so hard.

And it still wasn’t enough.

-

By the time the show started, I was watching from the wings, still too weak to stand on my own.

The lights hit the stage, the energy buzzing through the arena as Stellar performed without me.

And then, it happened.

Mira did my move.

Not just any move—my signature move. The one I had created, the one I had made my own.

The audience cheered like nothing was wrong.

Mira beamed.

And I?

I felt sick for a whole new reason.

The energy backstage was still buzzing, staff members congratulating each other, the usual post-show adrenaline filling the space.

But I wasn’t part of it.

I sat off to the side, still too weak to stand properly, watching as everyone came back from the stage.

And Mira?

She made a beeline toward me.

She tilted her head, still in full makeup and costume, wiping sweat off her brow like she had just saved the whole show.

And then she smiled.

"That was fun," she said sweetly. "I mean, I wouldn’t want to replace you permanently or anything, but… I did fit in pretty well, don’t you think?"

She let the words sink in, let them cut.

Then, with a final smirk, she turned and walked off.

And I sat there, feeling like I had lost everything.

I needed to get out of here.

The post-show energy, the voices, the flashing lights from the screens playing encore footage—it was too much.

I pushed myself up, ignoring the way my legs wobbled beneath me.

Leah and Ari noticed immediately, their heads snapping in my direction, but I didn’t give them time to stop me.

I kept my head down and moved, weaving past staff and dancers, making my way toward the private restroom backstage.

My hands were trembling by the time I pushed the door open.

The second it closed behind me, the weight I had been holding in collapsed all at once.

I braced myself against the sink, sucking in sharp, uneven breaths.

Everything hit me at once.

The exhaustion.

The humiliation.

The sharp, suffocating feeling of being replaced so easily.

A ragged breath tore from my throat, and I gripped the edges of the sink, my vision blurring as my chest heaved.

I couldn’t do this.

I couldn’t—

A soft knock at the door made me freeze.

My stomach twisted.

For a second, I thought it was Leah or Ari coming to check on me.

But then—

"Y/N."

I went rigid.

Because that wasn’t Leah.

Or Ari.

Or anyone I would’ve expected.

It was Seungmin.

I gripped the sink harder, willing my breaths to even out, willing myself to stay silent.

Maybe if I didn’t answer, he’d take the hint and leave.

Seconds passed.

Then—

"I know you’re in there."

His voice was calm. Not sharp, not teasing—just even.

I clenched my jaw, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Red-rimmed eyes. Flushed skin. The complete opposite of the image I was supposed to keep up.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat.

Silence.

Maybe he’d take that as an answer.

Then he spoke again.

"So that’s it?" A slight shift in his tone, like he was testing the waters. "You’re just gonna sit in there and pretend nothing happened?"

My fingers twitched against the cool porcelain.

That’s exactly what I was going to do.

Pretend this wasn’t happening.

Pretend I wasn’t falling apart.

Another pause.

Then, softer this time—"You don’t have to pretend with me."

Something in my chest tensed.

I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping the sink even harder.

Why was he still standing there?

And more importantly—why did it sound like he actually meant that?

A long beat of silence stretched between us.

I refused to move. Refused to speak.

But Seungmin wasn’t leaving.

Instead, he let out a slow exhale, and when he spoke again, his voice was lower, less guarded.

"You know… I thought you were stronger than this."

Something in me flinched.

His tone wasn’t mocking, wasn’t sharp—just honest. And that somehow made it worse.

He shifted outside the door, and I could almost picture him standing there, arms crossed, debating what to say next.

"All this time, you’ve acted like nothing gets to you. Like you don’t care what people say." A pause. "But you do, don’t you?"

I sucked in a quiet breath, my grip on the sink tightening.

"You care too much."

Another pause.

Then—"That’s why you don’t fight back."

My stomach twisted.

Because I hated how close to the truth that was.

I stared down at my reflection on the floor, my own exhausted eyes staring back at me.

And still, I didn’t say a word.

Seungmin shifted again, like he was about to say more—then stopped himself.

A beat of silence.

Then, his voice dropped to almost a murmur.

"You know, you’re not the only one who’s ever felt like this."

I blinked.

My breath hitched just slightly, but I caught it before it could be heard.

I didn’t know what I was expecting him to say, but… not that.

Something in his voice was different now.

Less sharp.

Less detached.

More like he actually… understood.

I swallowed, my chest tightening with something I couldn’t place.

And yet—I still said nothing.

I heard him shift once more, but this time, he hesitated.

Then, after one last pause—I heard footsteps.

He was leaving.

But somehow, it didn’t feel like an ending.

It felt like the beginning of something I wasn’t ready to face.

The room was quiet again.

No more footsteps.

No more words.

Just me.

I stayed where I was, back pressed against the cool tiles, knees pulled up to my chest.

My breathing had finally evened out, but my mind was far from calm.

Seungmin’s voice still echoed in my head.

"You know… I thought you were stronger than this."

"That’s why you don’t fight back."

"You care too much."

I wanted to ignore it. Pretend like none of this happened.

But I couldn’t.

Because somehow, for the first time since this tour started, Seungmin didn’t sound like my enemy.

And that thought alone terrified me.

I exhaled, pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes.

I didn’t know how long I sat there, just thinking.

Minutes passed—maybe longer.

Eventually, my legs felt steady enough to move.

I pushed myself up, straightened my hoodie, and finally unlocked the door.

The hallway was empty now.

No one waiting.

No one lingering.

And yet, as I stepped out, the weight of what just happened still clung to me.

The venue had mostly cleared out by now—staff moving equipment, dancers heading back to their dressing rooms, the energy finally settling after the chaos of the night.

Seungmin was off to the side, stretching out his shoulders, his expression unreadable.

Jeongin had been watching him for a while.

And he was done staying quiet.

He stepped up beside him, arms crossed. "I know what you’re doing."

Seungmin barely glanced at him. "What are you talking about?"

Jeongin let out a sharp exhale through his nose, shaking his head. "You and Mira. You’ve been messing with her this whole time."

That got Seungmin’s attention.

His expression barely shifted, but Jeongin knew him too well to miss the way his jaw tensed.

Still, he played it cool. "You sound paranoid."

Jeongin huffed, not buying it for a second.

"You think I didn’t notice?" He tilted his head. "The mic feedback. The ‘accidental’ positioning mistakes. Mira shifting in formations just enough to throw Y/N off. You might think you're being slick, but I see it."

Seungmin’s hands curled into loose fists.

But Jeongin wasn’t finished.

"And tonight?" His voice lowered. "You let Mira take her spot. You watched her steal Y/N’s move. And you didn’t say a thing."

Seungmin’s eyes flickered, but he kept his face carefully blank.

Jeongin took a step closer. "Tell me this, hyung." His voice hardened. "At what point does it stop being funny?"

Silence.

For a moment, Seungmin didn’t respond.

Then—"It was never funny."

Jeongin’s brows furrowed. "Then why?"

Seungmin exhaled sharply, rubbing the back of his neck, but he didn’t answer.

Because maybe—for the first time since this started—he wasn’t sure anymore.

Why had he gone along with Mira’s games?

At first, it was easy. It was just harmless frustration, just a way to get under Y/N’s skin—because she annoyed him, right?

That’s what he told himself.

But now?

After seeing her collapse on stage, after watching her lose everything she worked for while Mira stole her place without hesitation?

It didn’t feel like a game anymore.

And suddenly, he wasn’t so sure who the real problem was.

Taglist: @victoriaaf @mirophobic @minhosprettywife @peskybirdysya @littlewolfieposts

[zeel-zzz]

Red Rose Surprise

[a rosekiller kid fic]

BARISTA BARTY | ROSEKILLER | WC: 2.7k

i'm not sure why no one's written a rosekiller kid fic, but i give you this. i will definitely expand on this because i just love this idea so fucking much.

"Stupid strawberry milk."

If Barty was allowed to say one thing publicly without the risk of being fired from his place of employment, he'd probably say fuck big companies who ruined coffee shops for regular ass people. 

Sure, the big coffee chains have been around for years and it’s not like he knew what ordering coffee was like before them, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t despise them.

At least they were taking away the really insufferable customers, or that's what his boss liked to say. The only reason she can say that is because she doesn’t have to deal with them. 

Barty’s known to have a shit attitude. This is especially known in the coffee shops that employed him so many years ago. He doesn't take shit from anyone, and who have been going long enough know that Barty doesn't fuck aroud. 

He’s pretty sure Rosmerta is using his bad attitude in some marketing scheme.

“Stop by The Three Brews and get uniquely insulted by our prickly barista as he makes you latte art.”

He has to give it to her if that is actually what she’s doing, it’s one hell of a marketing tactic.

Still, it doesn’t mean he enjoys dealing with the annoying customers, and sure, he does know how to make the complex orders, and yeah he technically can make them, but it's not like he wants to. There’s a menu for a reason. Barty was not going to make a triple shot latte with a fraction of every type of milk substitute they had in stock. 

I mean, he could use the syrup pumps when people wanted hyper specific orders, but there’s a reason why they were placed so far back. Barty wasn’t going to walk all the way back there when the next customer just wanted an espresso. Getting orders out quickly got him tips and tips were what paid for his lunch.

What really worsened them was Rosmerta's seasonal menu, because now if Barty said they ran out of something they could just point to the menu’s seasonal options. 

“If you’re out, why are you still offering it? The least you could do is take it off the menu."

Apologies Susan, he wasn't aware someone could simply wipe off the words from their laminated menu that was placed in front of the cash register.  

He also hated the menu because it meant he had to put even more effort when serving. It’s not like you could serve a ‘Heart Flutter’ with a frown. It ruins the atmosphere or whatever.

Sometimes he wishes he would’ve just taken Regulus’ money, at least then he wouldn’t be forced to work the morning before Valentine's Day listening to the same romantic pop songs as he wiped down the coffee machine for the umpteenth time. 

One more hour, he just had to hold off for one more hour.

The door chimed and Barty only rolled his eyes when he heard the soft clicking of metal rings rubbing against each other.

“If you're not gonna order, you can make your way out, Sirius. I'm not dealing with your shit today.”

Barty could feel the judgemental stare of a mother on the other side of the counter. If it wasn't for the fact that he was still on the clock he would've flipped her off already.

“You can't kick me out Crouch, Rosmerta loves me.”

“Rosmerta loves using your face to draw up business. Hurry up and get behind the counter before we get told off again.” Barty threw him an apron that Sirius was just barely able to catch.

So, the thing was Sirius didn't actually work here, and technically he wasn't allowed behind the counter, but it's not like Sirius needed the money and Rosmerta wasn't going to keep him from working for free. 

“Are you still pissed off that I'm ditching you to go out with my super tall, super smart, super hot boyfriend tomorrow.” 

Sirius pulled his hair back carelessly before tying it up. Only Sirius Black could present an effortless look with no actual effort.

“Do I need to remind you that I've already had the pleasure of enjoying your super tall, super smart, super hot boyfriend.”

Barty had in fact had a go with Sirius’ boyfriend some couple months back. They hadn't known each other at the time, and Barty was certain that if he hadn’t hooked up with Lupin that night, Sirius and Remus would have never even met. Sirius’ entire relationship existed because of Barty.

“Don't talk about Moony like he's a piece of meat.”

“Oh, so only you can objectify him?”

Sirius nodded as he took off his jacket to hang on a hook and tied his apron. “Boyfriend privileges, but you wouldn't know about that would you Crouch.”

He wouldn't actually, Barty Crouch Jr wasn't known for settling. Not a single one of his relationships lasted longer than three months, at least if you didn’t count Emmeline Vance, who Barty tends to go back to every couple months when she’s single.

Sirius didn't count Emmeline as a relationship.

Barty could only roll his eyes before he started on the next order, cappuccino, no foam. He wanted to kill someone.

And so it went for the next half an hour, Barty rotated from creatively insulting one of his regulars and resisting the urge to pour the frothing milk on some prick's head. 

“Fuck this, I'm taking a break, call me if you don't know what your doing.”

Sirius waved him off before he turned to the cash register with a bright smile, his loose curls falling to frame his face. Barty wasn’t even surprised when the woman began to stumble with her order, Sirius had that effect on everyone.

He was sitting across the counter when a little girl walked in all by herself.

Bright blonde hair held in two crooked pigtails. A set of plastic butterfly wings that were sliding off her shoulder, her face decorated with glitter and star stickers. He was pretty sure that the smudged paint around her eyes was supposed to resemble wings as well. It was the sparkling princess skirt and mismatched shoes with untied laces that really pulled the whole thing together.

She was already heading towards the display case, eyes focused on the pastries that had been delivered earlier that day by the local bakery.

Sirius leaned over the counter when he noticed who Barty was looking at. 

“Hi sweetie, you see something you like.”

The girl looked up at Sirius with a nod before she pointed at one of their last brownies. Barty bit the inside of his cheek, he was really hoping that someone wouldn't take it before his shift was over.

As if to sense his despair Sirius looked over at Barty in question.

Would Barty be generous for the first time in his life and sacrifice the last brownie to the little girl who had her face pressed against the glass, or would he be a selfish prick and break this little girl's dream?

Barty sighed before gesturing for Sirius to give it to her.

He hated kids. He hated seeing their round faces with their big eyes.

Oh, but the smile that broke out the moment Sirius handed it to her in a napkin was heart melting. Barty couldn't help but laugh at the way she began to jump around in joy. Her little wings flapping with each jump she made.

“Luna, there you are. What did I tell you about running off on me?”

The girl turned around proudly presenting the brownie she had just received, “Evie look, brownie!”

Barty hadn't even noticed when the guy walked in, too focused on making sure she didn't slip on her untied shoelaces.

He was tall, and that was saying something because Barty was tall. He might not have been Remus Lupin tall, but he was definitely tall. He also had blonde hair, nearly platinum. Barty was almost in awe of how good it looked on him. He didn't know many people who could pull off platinum.

Silver septum ring with plenty of other piercings on his ears. Each one carrying silver jewelry. Barty couldn't help but think that gold would've suited him better.

“I can see that angel, but I only have enough for one treat right now. You're going to have to choose if you want this or your red rose surprise.”

The girl, Luna, pouted, and Barty wanted to groan. Kids were his weakness.

Sirius looked over at Barty unsure of what to do. Barty only mouthed his response.

“The brownie's on the house.” Sirius gave the customer that charming smile of his as he rested his arms on the counter. This was the real reason Rosmerta kept him around. Always so charming that Sirius Black, no one could resist him. 

“My boss just loves fairies, and she told me that every fairy who visits is supposed to get one treat for free.” 

Luna beamed up at Sirius before turning around to the guy, Evie, and sticking her tongue out before turning back to Sirius.

“I want a red rose surprise.”

“I don't think we have those here.”

Evie let out an exaggerated sigh before he kneeled in front of her. “Imma have to work my magic little moon. Why don't you go pick a seat and enjoy your brownie while I get that red rose surprise.”

Fuck it all to hell, ‘little moon’. Kill him, kill him now. End his existence before he ends up falling in love with a complete and utter stranger.

There was something that needed to be known about Barty.

He found people who were good with kids attractive. And he didn't mean it in a ‘Oh, wow. That's so cute. You're sweet and protective.’ kind of way, but more like, ‘I don't care if it's biologically impossible. I want to have your kids so that I can see you do this for the rest of my life.’ kind of way.

Regulus says he's absolutely mental and this is a result of his daddy issues, while Sirius says that it's perfectly reasonable because it's exactly how he feels about his own boyfriend.

Seeing this super hot guy talk to this little girl like she was the only good thing in the world made his heart race a little. A strangely weird feeling because even though he's felt this way before, it's never gotten this intense.

His friends find the dichotomy between what he's like and what he finds attractive absolutely hilarious, because Barty liked pretty people. He liked sweet looking people who take control of a situation with a smile on their face. A big contrast to Barty who was covered in tattoos, used cheap black box dye, and had a shitty ass personality, or so he was told.

His last boyfriend would disagree, but Sirius refuses to listen to anything James Potter had to say in regards to Barty. Skewed perception was his reasoning. 

“Cute kid, is she your's?” Sirius stood back up and eyed Evie as he stood up, blue eyes following Luna as she sat down at one of the booths.

“My sister's, actually. I’m babysitting today.” 

“Oh, and what, no girlfriend to help you out.”

The guys smiled at Sirius and Barty wanted to roll his eyes. 

Although in a fully committed relationship, Sirius Black was incapable of not flirting with their customers. He's probably the reason why Barty has to deal with so many annoying customers. Charmed by Sirius and insulted by Barty, only at the Three Brews.

“No one at the moment, but Luna’s a good help in getting people interested. Someone's bound to find me worth sticking around for.” He smiled at Sirius and although Barty couldn't see just how lethal it was he could definitely see its effects by just how red Sirius was getting.

It wasn't by much, but no one's been able to get such a reaction from him since he's gotten with Lupin. It wasn't often when Sirius Black could be brought to blush, and if someone ever did manage it, it was a sure fire way to get Barty interested.

Sirius looked over at Barty and Barty took it as his cue to go save his friend from possibly ruining his newly established relationship.

The transition was quick and simple. Barty pulled Sirius back and told him to check on that order Rosmerta had placed for sandwiches for the incoming lunch rush. Sirius barely had time to wish him luck before he was pushed to the back where the phone was.

“Good morning, I'll be serving you since my coworker doesn't know how to keep from drooling when he sees a pretty face.”

And fuck did he have a pretty face. Barty was going to need more than luck to get through this.

“Well, I'm not complaining. One pretty face replaced by another, nothing to be disappointed about.”

Red alert, red alert! This is not a drill! Why the hell is this guy flirting with him?

“Um– what would you like to order? We have plenty of Valentine's Day specials if you're feeling festive, but we do have regular coffee if you aren't looking for anything fancy.”

Barty looked over at the little girl who was carelessly kicking her feet as she broke off a piece of the brownie. He was kinda regretting giving it to her now. He could really use some chocolate to ease the nerves that were eating at him. 

“Do your Valentine's specials have strawberries?”

No, no, don't do this to him. He really didn't want to make anything too difficult. He already had to make three of those today and tomorrow that all he would be doing.

“Some do.”

“Okay, then, do you mind just putting regular milk in a cup, adding some diced strawberries and whipped cream with strawberry syrup on top. It's my niece's birthday today and I always get her one of these, but the last place we went to ran out of strawberries.”

“So, the red rose surprise is just strawberry milk.”

He shrugged a little, “It's what my parents used to do for my sister and I on our birthday. I guess I'm just following the tradition.”

Oh, he was so fucking screwed.

“Yeah, I can make it work, Evie.”

He laughed and Barty could only stare at him as he covered his face in embarrassment. 

“It's Evan actually.”

“Barty.”

“Well, thank you Barty, you just saved my day and made her birthday ten times better. How much would it be?”

And Barty knew the moment he made eye contact, he was done for.

“It's on the house, a gift for the birthday girl, and you if– if you want something?”

“No, I'm good for now, but thanks.”

Evan smiled and Barty swallowed nervously.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

“Yeah, no problem. I'll have your drink ready to go in a moment.”

Evan nodded his head before he turned around and sat next to Luna who was now staring at him with wide eyes and head tilted to the side. As soon as Evan sat down she turned to him and pointed at Barty before gesturing at her cheeks. 

Evan laughed for a moment before looking over in Barty's direction. They made eye contact, Evan winked at him and Barty quickly turned around to get that drink ready.

Strawberry milk, strawberry milk, strawberry milk.

How the hell was he supposed to make strawberry milk?

“Hey Barty, are you okay? Your face is all red.” 

Barty jumped at Sirius' words

“Relax, it's just me.”

“You know how to make strawberry milk right? I mean the pretty kind that you see all over Instagram and shit.”

“Yeah, I used to make it for Reggie. Why?”

“Teach me.”

“What?”

“Teach me how to make your stupid strawberry milk.”

“I can just make you some.”

“No, you have to teach me so I can give it to that little girl and then when Evan sees how good I'm at making strawberry milk he'll have no other choice but to marry me so I can keep making strawberry milk.”

Sirius blinked at him before laughing. 

“Evan? Is he the reason why your face is all red like that?”

Barty wanted to strangle Sirius or drop to the floor and die, preferably both, but not necessarily in that order.

“Fine, I'll teach you how to make it, but first go wash your face. You're as red as a strawberry right now.”

Barty could only hang his head in embarrassment when he saw his reflection on the mirror. Bright red, strawberry red.

Stupid red rose surprise. 

Stupid strawberry milk 

Stupid Barty for falling for some guy named Evan.

tags: @the-person-that-did-that @saiichai

[rhiannonsknife]

DROP UR HOT TAKE GIRLIE WE SUPPORT YOU

-🔆

okay, listen!!! in the grand scheme of things, this is such a non-issue. the show raises way more important questions than this, and i wasn’t even planning on posting this note. it was just a silly little rant in my notes app because my brain latched onto it, so here we are! i wrote this before episode 4 so it’s spoiler free :) (the only things i edited just now are in italics)

also, for context, this is coming from someone who genuinely could not care less about shaving and will never not stand for the fact that body hair is beautiful. if this wasn’t clear from the great bush discourse yet.

anyway. to the people saying ‘it’s a hallucination��� in response to the (minimal but very important) no armpit hair discourse: first of all, be ready to hear from me again if shauna still doesn’t have armpit hair in other scenes, because by your logic, it should definitely be there then. (yeah…this whole argument was proven wrong since then, so…)

but also!!! also!!! while a part of me wants to say this is kind of irrelevant, i really don’t think it is. name more than three movies and/or tv shows where all of the cast actually have a realistic portrayal of body hair, especially the women/non-men. i’ll wait.

like, sure, coach ben has a full face of hair because he (obviously) can’t be bothered to shave out there/probably didn’t even bring a fuck-ass razor for a weekend trip, but most (not all, but most) of the girls have clean-shaven legs, armpits etc etc (we’ve already seen this outside of hallucinations, so don’t tell me it’s about that again)

and yeah, maybe it’s just about the cast’s personal preference, but if you’re on a show about being stranded in the wilderness for nineteen months, giving up shaving for a couple of weeks before filming to reflect a more realistic portrayal of the female body doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch idk 😭

it just highlights a bigger issue in media, which is basically my whole point here: how women’s bodies are always portrayed in a way that conforms to beauty standards, even in situations where it makes no sense. we see men with stubble, unkempt hair to sell the idea that they’re surviving, but when it comes to women? smooth legs, shaved armpits. you could be watching a post-apocalyptic movie, a historical drama, even something like yellowjackets, and still, the natural way women’s bodies actually look is rarely ever acknowledged.

and i get that, to some extent, actors might not want to change their grooming habits for a role. like, obviously, no one should be forced to do something that makes them uncomfortable! there are actors who put their bodies through extreme changes for roles, whether it’s major weight loss/gain, muscle gain etc. and it’s completely reasonable for someone to set their own boundaries with that. but the thing is…growing body hair out isn’t some huge, irreversible transformation. it’s not a physical strain, it’s not a health risk, it’s literally just skipping a step in your routine. it saves time rather than adding any sort of challenge, so what exactly is speaking against doing it? because if it’s just that we, as a society, still think women with body hair don’t “look good” on screen, then yeah. that’s kind of the whole issue. (chat again: not that deep. I KNOW. this is just my take here)

but at the same time, why is body hair seen as something so unthinkable for women to have on screen in the first place? like, we’ve been conditioned to think it’s “unhygienic” or “unappealing,” when in reality, it’s literally just…hair. men get to be scruffy and unshaven in movies all the time for the sake of realism!!

— a/n: guys again: it really isn’t that big of a deal, i know, and i was literally just yapping in my notes app, that’s all this is about. because i feel very strongly about the way our bodies tend to be portrayed in media. but after the great bush discourse, i just felt like pointing it out!!

[maybeimavillain-byleif]

You know what I was thinking about the episode? I was reading what someone wrote about the episode and said that Devon didn't know any of this and never checked what was written on Amanda's CV but just trusted all of it. You know, I remember what Ysa said (or was her mom? Don't remember exactly but it was on the 1st episode) it's true that Devon's way of hiring someone is a bit weird since he just go "yeah you're alright, I trust you, you're hired!" without checking anything written on the CV. Why would you not check anything? Thomas did well by doing some researches on us so it makes sense he did researches on Amanda too but he was kind enough to not say anything about it. You know who is also smart enough to make some researches? Jason. Jason has probably done the same thing Thomas did with all of us who work for Devon and that's what Devon should have done too, maybe not on Elenda and Roy since they know each other since they were kids, Brune honestly, I think she has nothing to hide, I feel like she's pretty honest with all of us. But Devon should have made some researches on the person he wanted to hire, how can you trust someone immediately? I mean, he hired Ysa on the phone and because she's the daughter of a very known architect that her mother is and she helped her to get the job so of course, he didn't have a reason to doubt Ysa. But with people you don't know? You can't trust them at 100%. That's why I think Thomas did well by making researches on us and Amanda (and probably on everyone) and for Jason, he also did well to do it since Devon is his rival, he needs to know everything on the people who work for him if he wants to destroy Devon and his company. Still, he was an asshole for telling the truth to the client but he's ready to do everything in order to destroy us (and I already said it). So, all of this to say that in this situation I find Jason more competent as a boss than Devon, because he also did some researches on us and I think he did the same with all the people he hired at Goldreamz, making them hold an interview and just after he decided who to hire and who not to. You know, even in real life some people might lie on the CV and still get the job, so doing some researches is not a bad idea, even though we're talking about the school one attended here, but still, I think it's a good think to check everything before hiring someone. Well, I hope that in the future, if Devon wants to hire someone new, he checks everything before hiring them, he could even ask Thomas to do it for him, he knows what and where to search😬

[em1989ts]

𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫

five hargreeves x reader

masterlist

word count: 1.7k

summary: when most of his siblings don't make it back to the alley in time to go back to 2019, five is livid. but when you don't make it back in time, he gets worried about what might've happened to you. (idea based on this request)

author's note: i've had a lot of essays to write recently but this request sparked some inspiration so i took a break lol, i've been working here and there on some other works so hopefully i can put a couple more out soon! thanks sm for the request, inbox is still open, and hope you enjoy! *not proofread*

You didn’t show up. 

He waited for you. He waited to see you run around the corner into the alleyway at the last moment, just in time to make it back to 2019. 

He was already extremely disappointed in his family for not meeting such a simple deadline, an opportunity that he worked so hard for. He wanted to be done with killing, it was a part of him he wanted to leave in his past. But as a man who puts the ones he loves before anything else, he gruesomely assassinated a boardroom full of people just to have a chance at returning them to their normal lives in the correct timeline. 

But when you still didn’t show up even after the time he specifically told you, his mind began to assume the worst. He knew you were responsible, he thought you were more than capable of understanding the severity of the deadline. He also knew there was nothing holding you back here. As far as he knew, you had been living alone in an apartment above a diner, no roommates, not even a pet, just taking shift after shift as a waitress to get by in this new timeline, waiting for him to return. He knew you barely talked to anyone in the few months you were left alone here, so you couldn’t have gotten held up with goodbyes. 

As he stomped up the stairs, exhausted from his rant outside in the alley, his aggravated mind continued to theorize the possibilities of your absence. Luther agitated him even further as he trailed behind him up to Elliot’s apartment, already waiting for Five to immediately hand him the next plan. Without another word to his nagging brother, Five made a beeline for one of Elliot’s many guestrooms and locked the door quickly, leaving a worrisome Luther behind. 

Five began pacing angrily, shoulders hunched and hands deep in the pockets of his shorts, chest rapidly rising with every panicked breath. 

“Five?” Luther knocked gently, not wanting to upset his brother further, “Why don’t we just go look for them, they probably got held up somewhere, or they could be in trouble.” 

Of course they were in trouble, his family always manages to fuck up the simplist things. They could never go a day without getting themselves into the most outrageous conundrums possible. They were so careless, yet so selfish. He sacrificed everything, worked and struggled for his entire life, just to save their sorry asses and what does he get? Blame and fault. 

All their problems, blamed on him. It was his fault they got stuck here in the first place, they said. Instead of a thank you, all he received in return from his lifetime of fighting for their lives was utter ungratefulness. 

He thought you were different. 

You were the only one who showed him any signs of appreciation. You trusted him, you thanked him, you made him feel like everything he did meant something, you made him feel like he mattered. 

And that’s what he loved about you. 

So he couldn’t see why you wouldn’t be there. 

Luther was right, something bad must’ve happened to you. The handler, the remaining swedes, something must’ve deliberately tried to fuck up this plan for him. Someone tried to take you away from him. 

His blood was boiling, he knew you were strong on your own, you were independent, you could put up a fight. So what the hell could’ve stopped you? 

~~~ 

You thought you still had time. 

The screen of your watch, synchronised perfectly with Five’s, was completely smashed in, making it impossible to tell the time. Tiny shards of glass fell from your wrist as you ran through downtown Dallas. Bloody, scraped up knees stinging in the wind as you quickly turned the corner into the alley behind Commerce and Knox. 

Your face dropped as you slowed to a stop, noting the absence of the family. 

They couldn’t have left without you, could they? 

As you walked further into the alley, you noticed a large stain of bile covering the concrete, with a groaning Klaus rolling around right next to it. 

Seeing the familiar face gave you a little hope now that you weren’t alone, as you walked over to him and knelt by his side.

“You okay?” you asked, watching him roll over to face you. 

“Oh Y/N!” he said with a groggy yet excited voice, “You sweet angel, you’re alive!”

You held out a firm hand and helped him sit up, trying to ignore the pungent smell, “Yeah I ran into a bit of trouble, where is everybody?” 

“Oh, Five and Luther were the only ones here, but they left a few minutes ago,” he said, referring to the door at the end of the alley that led to the stairwell. 

You helped him stand up with the strength you had left, still a little roughed up from your fight. He wandered off back towards the street while you headed upstairs. 

Once you made it up to the floor where Elliot’s apartment was, you thought your knees were going to buckle with every step you took. When you knocked, Luther was the one who answered the door, looking absolutely relieved to see you. 

“Oh my god, you’re okay,” he moved aside to let you walk inside, “Five’s uh, a little pissed right now so maybe-” 

You walked away towards the shut bedroom door, leaving Luther in the kitchen. 

Stopping in front of the door, you could hear his footsteps going back and forth. 

You sighed as you gently knocked, “Five?” 

The footsteps stopped abruptly, until you heard him walk over and unlock the door, before resuming the back and forth routine. 

You let yourself in and shut the door behind you, leaning against it as you watched him. 

His stare remained on his shoes, not bothering to look up at you. 

His mind was racing, you could tell. It was easy to imagine how frustrated he was, with only two out of six people showing up at the right time. You had no idea what happened to Diego, Allison, and Vanya, you could only account for your own absence, but that would have to wait until he was calm enough to listen. 

Once he stopped pacing, he stayed facing away from you, not bothering to look up. 

“Where the hell were you?” 

Before you could answer, he cut you off, “No, no, it doesn’t even matter anymore, does it? We had one chance, Y/N. ONE chance, to get back home and have everything back to normal again, and now you, and my braindead siblings fucked it up. I thought you were better than this, really. I thought you were actually reliable, I thought I could count on you to be there so we could go home, but I was wrong. Now I’m going to ask one more time, what the hell were you so busy doing that you couldn’t make it to the alley on time?”

He hadn’t gone off on you like that, ever. 

Sure, you’ve seen him get angry from time to time and you’d let him rant to you. You’d always be there to listen to him when he needed to let off a little steam. The Handler bothered him, the Commission stressed him out, his brothers pissed him off, but never you. This was the first time he’d really directed his anger towards you.

You looked at him, his chest heaving heavily, his face flushed red, but his expression confused you. His face displayed his typical scrunched brows, his clenched jaw, but his eyes were hurt, telling you the secret of how he really felt. 

The more you stared at each other, the more realization set into him. He noticed the bruise starting to form around your eye, the reminisce of swiped dried blood under your nose, and slowly, his furious expression turned fully into concern. 

You sighed, breaking the eye contact, “I was on my way here when I bumped into one of the Swedes. I didn’t even mean to start anything, he just saw me and went totally insane. He was by himself so I think I have a good guess as to what happened.” 

You felt like shit, physically and emotionally. The Swede caught you off guard when you ran into him, all the anger and grief he held after he had just killed his brother at Allison’s house was taken out on you. You were sore and tired, and you felt even worse about letting down Five. 

He walked over to you, holding your hand, carefully walking you over and sitting you down on the bed sitting in the middle of the room. 

“I’m sorry,” he looked at your face and felt so guilty. How could he be so harsh on the one person who did their best to be there for him? “Me too,” you said softly, reaching out to comb your fingers through his hair. It always seemed to get a little messy when he got upset. 

“No, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, It’s just-” he paused, “When you didn’t show up I thought-” 

“Hey,” you cupped his cheek gently in your palm, “I’m fine, and this isn’t the end, okay? We’ll figure something out, we always do.” 

He leaned into your hand, his eyes no longer glaring but looking at you so warmly. He didn’t deserve you. You made him feel like time wasn’t bearing down on him, like it wasn’t wasting away at every moment he wasn’t fighting for his life. You were so patient with him, helping him stay in the moment, allowing him to think of new plans without the pressure of his siblings.

As he sat there with you, his mind relaxed just enough to come up with another plan that was so crazy it might just work. The lightbulb flashed in his eyes as he gave you a quick kiss, before he moved to clean up your wounds and begin his next idea to save the world. 

~~~

author's note: i just wanted to note i started writing this in my hotel room in nyc (for some reason hotels are my favorite place to write lol)

also i'm still very confused by taglists so i'm just going to tag people who have asked previously to be tagged and copy and paste it for every work i upload, if you want to be added or removed please let me know :)

tags: @misakiisstupid @lveegsoi @groovydazephantom @tremendoushearttaco @spidermansfangirl @madscamp02 @beanzwritez 

~~~

[glitter-stained]

Stephcass as some of my platonic relationships' most intense moments :

Cass: what are you doing?

Steph: oh, writing a play!

Cass: cool what's it about?

Steph : it's a tragedy about lesbians being burned at the pyre. The main character is kind of a self-insert. I mean, not that it means anything, lol, I'm straight.

Cass: oh.

Steph: also don't take this the wrong way but can I say something weird?

Cass: uh, sure.

Steph: I feel like since I've met you, the lesbian love interest has started resembling you more and more -she's mostly based on you, now. Not that that means anything.

****

Steph: You couldn't dom me if you tried.

Cass: the fuck I couldn't?

Steph: No you couldn't!

Cass: The only reason I'm not domming you because I don't want to!

Steph : You couldn't even if you wanted to!

Cass: I so could!

Steph: oh yeah? Prove it.

Cass: You don't even want me to!

Steph: But you couldn't. If I did want you to.

****

Steph : It's like... You know, I'm never really this tactile... It's hard for me, even with friends, to touch or hug them... You're different, though. I don't know why, what's different about you, but the way it feels hugging you... It just feels right with you.

Cass: You smell nice. Do you wear perfume?

Steph: oh? No, it's probably just my shampoo.

Cass: Your hair smells really nice.

****

Cass: Yeah, so I went to that lesbian bar and it was such a disappointment... I was hoping to get fucked in the bathroom so bad!

Steph: and you didn't invite me??

Cass: I didn't expect you to want to be there!

Steph: of course I did!

****

Cass: I think you're my soulmate... I never met someone who completed me so deeply before.

Steph: like, romantically?

Cass: It's more like, you're a star, and I'm the moon. We should get matching profile pictures.

Steph: whenever I look at the moon I think of you.

Cass: I was going to name a plant after you, but I thought if I gave it your name it would break my heart when you died, so I named it after a goddess that made me think of you.

****

Steph: I wish we had broken up.

Cass: We would make such good exes.

Steph: We would be so bitter about it!

Cass: so toxic...

****

Cass: your eyes are so beautiful... Did you ever notice they change colours with the light?

Steph: you... um, you've already told me that.

Cass: I know. I just really like looking at them.

*****

Cass: You think if we were fictional characters people would ship us?

Steph: oh my god definitely. The ultimate otp.

Cass: people would cancel us for queerbaiting.

Steph : you know what would be really funny? If we wrote a show with our self-inserts having the same relationship as us.

Cass: both canonically sapphic.

Steph: one of them dies tragically and the other just loses it. Tries to summon her back to life.

Cass: goes on a killing spree.

Steph: friends to lovers except they never kiss. They have a child together.

Cass: you get it.

Steph: Even I am starting to ship them.

****

Timsteph!era steph gets an eyelash stuck on her cheek: *looking deep into cass's eyes*

Cass: make a wish

Steph: *closes her eyes and guesses wrong*

Cass, gently wiping the eyelash off her cheek with her thumb: what did you wish for?

Steph: that I were dating you instead of Tim

Cass: *looking away so steph doesn't see the tears brimming in her eyes*

****

Steph, playing with her hair: hey so I really like you and would love to know you better. Would you like to grab coffee sometimes, as a date?

Cass: oh, of course, I'd love that!

[urrmomzfavorite]

PAC WHY PEOPLE FALL FOR YOU

HEYY bestieee ✨ Let’s move on from that balding man who’s been making you cry and check out my MASTERLIST instead. Let’s find someone who’s actually meant for you—preferably someone with a full head of hair. I mean, I’ve had my Vin Diesel moment too, queen, but let’s be real… it’s not actually him. 💀 Time to upgrade to someone who doesn’t make you question your life choices, okay? 😘

Pile One

You come into people’s lives like a quiet storm. You look so innocent, so pure—but you come with surprises. You will never be what is expected of you, and that’s what people love about you. They never know what they’re going to get; their preconceived ideas of you shatter the second you open your mouth.

You’re incredibly smart, clever with your words, and skilled at finding creative solutions to problems. Your good looks, ability to identify people’s strengths, and ease in forming connections (or conundrums) make you the perfect leader. People get close to admire your beauty, bask in your light, and quickly find themselves wrapped around your finger.

You make people surrender to you—they have no choice but to bow to your power. Some find this uncomfortable, but the ones who swim in the sauce? They demand more, getting lost trying to decipher you. You’re multidimensional, a force to be reckoned with, a beauty that commands worship, and a sharp mind. How could anyone not fall for you?

✨💖 Heyyy cuties! 💖✨ Don’t be shy, take a little peek at my other posts—you know you wanna!

Pile Two

“Did it hurt falling from heaven?” You little demon. Pile Two, you’re intoxicating—a sweet poison. (I’m hearing Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris playing in the background.) It’s hard to resist you; your sweet words turn people into believers of your gospel. They need to hear you, be near you, and earn your attention. It’s fun… until it gets clingy.

Pile Two, that push-and-pull power play you act so coy about? It’s dangerous. You’re the match to their gasoline. They’d been floating in still water, comfortable in their stillness—then you disrupted it all. You glide through life with ease and charm, and they find you refreshing. “It’s exactly what I needed,” they say. You’re a cold glass of water in the desert—needed, awaited.

You break a lot of hearts, some intentionally, others because people take care of that themselves. They get intrigued by you and talk themselves out of approaching you. But oh boy, no matter what, you linger, becoming a core memory, a core regret.

By the time they realize you’re what they needed, you’re already gone. It’s hard to hold onto you; you feel like a dream. They’ll swear they imagined you, like a mirage… until you reappear, reminding them how dull life felt without you.

✨💖 Heyyy cuties! 💖✨ Don’t be shy, take a little peek at my other posts—you know you wanna!

Pile Three

It’s your world, and we’re just living in it. Yes, babe—we’re aware, and we’re into it. (I’m the voice of the people!) Pile Three, you’re impossible to miss. That Easy A line? “Google could find me if I was a crack in concrete.” You know, when she comes back to school after the rumor about her losing her "virginity" spreads. You could easily be sexualized by your peers. They fantasize about having you because you seem unreachable, like they’d need to be someone important just to stand next to you.

You’ve got the it factor, that star quality. You belong under a spotlight, and everyone sees it. Your style? The way you put outfits together? Chef’s kiss. People want to be your friend, your lover, part of your circle—but stay wary of energy vampires. They don’t know if they want to be you or be with you. A little bit of both, perhaps? Probably.

Copycats try to mimic you, but it’s never quite right. You’re authentic; they’re just desperate to be liked. Even if others can’t explain it, they feel the difference. You’re put on a pedestal—and honestly? That’s where you belong. 😘

✨💖 Heyyy cuties! 💖✨ Don’t be shy, take a little peek at my other posts—you know you wanna!

[utilitycaster]

i just finished this week's episode and I'm so blown away by Celia's portrayal of faith in exandria and how deep her understanding is and firstly, god, it's just so beautiful to watch but, secondly, it is kind of creating this juxtaposition to me of this person who's been brought in for a mini series, given a lore primer, does seem to have watched SOME episodes, has such a grasp on worship and the role of the gods in exandria vs bells hells who had hundreds of episodes to learn about it

So I agree that Celia's performance has been an absolute highlight, and while I'm try to taper off some of the post-mortem C3 stuff I think a couple things were going on. Most crucially, as Divergence is a limited series with actors who aren't terribly familiar with Exandria, I am sure there was a lot more guidance with regards to character creation and series tone. I would not be surprised if Brennan and Matt wanted characters with a range of attitudes towards the Prime Deities, ranging from Nia and Garen being faithful despite it all, to Crokas and Fiedra's neutrality/apathy, to Erro's loss of faith, and who could show how all of these people, despite those different attitudes, could work together if they prioritized community and hope.

The thing about Bells Hells is again, the cast is aware of the role of the gods in the world, as we've seen in past campaigns. I think again this was a lack of guidance and people building characters who were not prepared to engage with the question of "what would you do if the gods - all of them, not just the Prime Deities - were threatened" in a meaningful way, and Matt did not guide the campaign when they began aimlessly circling that question and indeed simply threw more options at them. They - and their fans - consistently believed the worst not just of the gods but of those who worshiped them and their fellow Exandrians (we've already extensively talked about the breathtaking selfishness of "I don't know if I want to save someone who doesn't love me," but consider how Ashton assumed the gods would smite them down for knowing the true story of Aeor [something Bells Hells chose to suppress for reasons I actually don't understand, like, I don't mind that they did this but it feels like they nearly got Liliana killed simply to go against Ludinus, which wasn't even their ultimate motivation in the end] and repeatedly treated the gods-as-mortals plan as a punishment to humble them, even though the Primes very much did not see it as such). It is, as I said sometime last week, an aberrant party attitude towards the world as compared to Campaigns 1, 2, EXU Prime, Downfall, every canon or semi-canon one-shot (eg: Song of the Lorelei) and, I would even posit, not even in line with the portrayal of the gods within C3's main story (not even Downfall) itself. So I don't want to diminish the excellent work Celia's put in, because they've been fantastic throughout, but I really think it's just...Bells Hells had a bunch of character concepts that probably should have been further refined early on, and far more guidance was given re: Rei'Nia's development, and it shows.

[0viraptoraskblog]

What BTD/TPOF characters I think would be cat or dog people

I’ve had this in my notes for a while, so why not share it?

Keep in mind these are just my opinions, and I didn’t even think very hard about it. It’s just for fun. Feel free to let me know if you have different thoughts though :)

I’m just gonna go down the line:

Rire- He gives me major cat person vibes. I think he likes their elegance, and how they aren’t blindly obedient to humans like dogs (in his words). All of earths creatures are lesser beings, of course, but I think he’d have a little respect for cats. I can see him sitting and drinking tea/reading with a cat lounging on the back of his chair.

Sano- doesn’t really love either one, and would definitely pick centipedes if given the choice. I think he’d appreciate the fact that cats are independent, and they match his demeanor more, but he does have a soft spot for Shaun— who is more like a dog. This one could be 50/50.

Akira- It’s already confirmed that Akira is an animal person, so I think he’d like both. I feel like his extroverted personality would be more fitting for a dog though.

Strade- The one exception, because clearly, he’s a fox person. (If I had to pick: I know he’s kind of indifferent to animals, but I feel that dogs might be better. He just likes that they’re friendly, and he often sees neighbors walking their dogs, so he interacts with them much more than he ever has with cats.)

Ren- I think Ren would be a cat person actually. I think he’d like dogs, but the cuddly nature of cats would be nicer in his mind. I feel like he wouldn’t really consider getting one, he’s never thought of having a pet except you, but if/once he did, they would be inseparable. I think a cat would help him recover from his loneliness if he was on a good path.

Lawrence- Not great with animals, as we know, but I think cats are definitely the better choice. Dogs can be loud and jumpy, and those constant sudden moves might put him on edge if he’s around a dog too long. Especially the ones that go nuts every time someone walks by the door— not Law’s thing. I think he’d appreciate how cats are independent and calm by comparison (in most cases.)

Vincent- Dog person. I know he’s technically part canine himself, but even without that, it just feels right. I think he’s the type of person to just get along with dogs, probably more than he does with people. It’s a simpler connection, and yet it feels stronger (and more honest) than with people, who might not understand him.

Farz- He likes animals, so I know he’d be okay with both, but I actually think cats might be better. If we take his werewolf bf out of the mix, I think he’d like cats because they’re generally quieter- and not just in the sense of noise; he sees them as more ‘thoughtful’ if that makes sense. (I’m not really solid on this one, because I think he’d go well with any animal so long as they’re friendly. Birds especially)

Cain- I think he’d be a cat person. Similarly to Rire, he likes the idea of having cats. They’re more elegant than dogs. I think he sees them with a little respect, at least- wasn’t he around when people used to worship cats? I don’t know, I don’t have much to say on this one.

Damien- I haven’t analyzed his character very much, I’ll be honest, but I think he’d like dogs. Probably one of the “family” dog breeds, like a golden retriever or something. I feel like outside of his duties in game, he prioritizes relationships— including the companionship of his pet.

Ashe- I think cats match Ashe’s personality pretty well. They both tend to keep to themselves and like naps. I think they’d pretend to be indifferent about the cat at first, but then you turn around and they’re cuddled up together. They don’t know how, it just happened.

Derek- I honestly don’t know. I don’t think he’d be good around animals at all. For the sake of this post though, I’m gonna have to say dogs. He’d like a pet that he can train and that will listen to him. I think he’d only start to get attached once they form a bond, meaning the dog responds to him well. He’d probably pay for the training that teaches it to attack on command, just to have another form of intimidation or something. I think he’d start to care for it like a companion too, after a while, but he’d never admit it. (note on Derek- I think he’d have something like a German Shepard or a Doberman for what I described earlier, or instead he could have one of those tiny purebred dog breeds that only rich people can afford. Idk, I’m torn)

Celia- If I can’t say mouse, then cat person. I do think she’d enjoy having a pet with more obedience, but I think she’d chose the cleanliness of cats over dogs. Again, I think she’d like their independence because she wouldn’t have to ‘babysit’ it 24/7. It doesn’t need to be let outside every few hours. And hey, you can still train a cat if you try.

Mason- Dog person. I don’t see him ever having a pet, since he hunts *everything*, but maybe in another universe he has a hunting dog? Plus, I think his somewhat old fashioned off-the-grid lifestyle is more suited for a dog as well. He seems like the type to call them ‘man’s best friend’ and such.

Komodo- I headcanon that he’s a major reptile person, hence why he came up with their nicknames. I think he’d like both cats and dogs. He thinks dogs can be friendly and loyal, and cats can be affectionate and cuddly. Another 50/50? Snakes are probably his first choice.

Dragon- likes both, but probably a dog person. I think he grew up with a family dog, and so he still has a soft spot for them over cats.

Jack- definitely dogs. His whole character screams dog person to me (his mask does, too). I can see him owning his own police dog. Just because he’s bonded with it, he trained it himself! Oh, and it conveniently skips over his own bag when doing scent drills to find drugs.. huh, it must be all clear.

Machete- we know painfully little about machete, but I’ll say dog person. I like to imagine he still has his childhood dog, which helped him emotionally a lot after his sisters disappearance.

Tom- Very close call. I think he connects well with animals, and knows when to be gentle or when to give them space. I don’t think he’s ever had a reason to pick one over the other. If he had to choose, maybe cats?

Jaqueline- also likes both. Although, I think she’d like dogs more, mostly because they’re athletic. She can go out with them and get some exercise. I think having a dog would also help her feel safer after escaping the desert.

Chamomile- I think she likes many animals, especially since she was majoring in biology. I think deer are her favorite, as a nod to her original design, but between the two I’d say she prefers cats. It’s not a passionate difference, but it’s there. I think she’d like animals she can hold/cuddle.

Richard- none, he doesn’t deserve it/hj in seriousness though, I actually am gonna say cats. I have no idea why. It just feels right for some reason.

Wow that was long. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk :)

[starie-leo]

𝐖𝐨𝐧𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬

Since it's his birthday, I decided to read his chart because honestly it seemed so interesting how well all of his placements manifested.

Note: He was on a Japanese fortune teller show where his chart was revealed (in placidius) and I calculated his rising sign using that but could only estimate his birth time. This reading will use that estimate instead and be in whole sign system.

Wonbin’s chart is actually so beautiful to look at as an astrologer. He’s a taurus rising, a libra moon and venus is exalted in pisces. The ruler of his sun and venus is also exalted. He’s empathetic, sensitive, affectionate, romantic, compassionate and very sociable. Honestly he was born to be a star and his chart is just a reflection of that.

Taurus Rising + Chart Ruler in 11H: 

Pretty boy placement. He’s of course very aesthetically pleasing both in looks and fashion, you’ll never catch him dressing badly but we all already know this so I’ll not talk on this much. He leads life in a slow and steady way. He’s someone who holds onto things or has a hard time moving on from them. He has a very sensual, dreamy and delicate vibe to him due to his Pisces Venus. He has Scorpio 7H so either he's very intense and take all of his relationships (one on one friendships too) very seriously or that his relationships end up being very intense. I think combined with his Pisces Venus and 1H mars he should be careful cause he can easily attract very possessive and controlling people. Or he could be the more clingy and possessive person.

His chart ruler in 11H indicates that his social circle, his friends and justice are very important to him. He’s also very ambitious. Combined with his sun in 11H, this placement grants him a lot of popularity both in real life and on the internet. He is easy to talk to & a relaxing person to be around so he doesn't have much trouble making friends anywhere.

Taurus Mars in 1H: 

Wonbin plans, and works methodically towards his goals rather than rushing into it. He has a need to feel comfortable with his environment in order to work, and to see concrete results for all his efforts. He's extremely determined towards his goals, probably even willing wait years for something to work out. He can be slow to anger. He has a lot of patience and endurance but once you've pushed him to the brink, his anger can be very explosive. You also can immediately tell when he’s mad, it shows up on his face pretty quickly since it's in the 1H. He may come off as intimidating on first glance. Very athletic and strong but most wouldn't be able to notice it due to the soft nature of his mars. A common theme I notice with Taurus mars is that their hard work and efforts often go unnoticed even when they put their blood, sweat and tears into it. Mars being in his 1H, just adds to his attractiveness and as it's in a venusian sign, it gives him a nice balance of femininity and masculinity in his looks. Androgynous looks suit him quite well too. He'll almost always speak up if something or someone bothers him even if it takes a while it will happen. He's also direct, honest and defensive when he needs to be, so you really can't speak badly on his behalf or make up things about him, he'll always make sure to prove you wrong real quick; he'll always stand his ground no matter what. He might've been independent and self sufficient since he was very young, I think the evidence of this is that he came to Seoul on his own (?) and joined SM at a really young age too. Mars also rules scouting and he was scouted based on his looks (1H). Mars also rules scouting and he was scouted based on his looks (1H). I also really like the fact that Wonbin also has a scar on his eyebrow which is another manifestation of 1H mars. He can also be pretty reckless and competitive. Also the ruler of his mars is in the 11H so he gets very protective and defensive about his friends.

Pisces Sun in 11H:

He’s sensitive, artistic, hopeful and a big dreamer. This is a highly creative placement and also an indicator for musical talent. He could be difficult to understand for many people. He has sun trine jupiter aspect too, so he has an abundance of creativity and is very generous to others. Lucky aspect in general. He shines the best in group settings and more of his personality comes out when he's with his friends. This combination often creates a heroic person who don't hesitate to sacrifice themselves for their friends/team. If his friends are getting attacked, trust that he’s gonna be on the front lines for them regardless if that gets him attacked in the process too. He's also very well respected in his community and gets a lot of praise from his seniors. He has sun square saturn too, making him not very self-confident and sensitive to criticism.

Libra Moon in 6H:

Libra moons are quite sensitive and empathetic in general, this means he cares too much about how he makes others feel and what others are thinking of him. He feels better when he’s with someone else rather than when he is alone, he’s the type to want someone to come with him everywhere. I think seunghan said it once that wonbin doesn’t like being alone in his own room and Shotaro has said before that Wonbin would rather share rooms with someone during trips. He should be careful since he’s the type to get really attached to someone and even overlook their flaws. He can be overly generous too. He relieves stress by doing something artistic, as venus rules over arts and libra is ruled by venus, His health is very sensitive. He would need to keep his mood and emotions balanced in order to stay healthy. He’s someone who ends up being overly generous. He probably wants to make art/music that can help people or be of service to them in some way. He's also very sensitive to daily problems & prefers to deal with them in a diplomatic and harmonious way.

Pisces Venus in 11H:

He's very romantic and affectionate, especially with his friends. He's able to seduce others and be flirty effortlessly. He's an idealist and has some high standards when it comes to love and relationships. He may feel more comfortable in platonic relationships. He can be very clingy too. He has venus square pluto, so while he has very magnetic beauty, he often he ends up attracting a lot of jealousy and obsessive behavior for his looks. He probably has a strong social life off camera and is naturally able to bring people together. He probably gets along with women or has a lot of female friends too. This placement will also grant him a lot of wealth and fame in life.

Aquarius Mercury in 10H:  

Wonbin is very intelligent and talented. This is also another musical talent placement. Very curious too, probably interested in uncommon topics or stuff that is generally considered weird; always looking to learn something new. His voice or speech pattern is very unique and the way he talks is very clear and sincere which makes him well liked by many people. He could be quite progressive and open-minded, . He’s also very opinionated but not keeps quiet about it. Also not one to tolerate injustice or any kind of bullying; he will speak up whether you like it or not. There's also a need to have original with this placement; the songs he'll write himself and sing will shoot up in popularity than when he's singing a song written by someone else. He has mercury conjunct neptune, making him a very creative and imaginative person who is able to express his dreams through music. A negative manifestation of this aspect is that his words almost always get misinterpreted or that people twist his words. He'll always be known for his voice, singing skills and words. I think he'll also be a great actor because of this placement.

Cancer Jupiter in 3H: 

It baffles me how he’s the only one in a group of 7 to have a well-placed jupiter with no malefic aspects I’m not even joking everyone else in riize has a detriment jupiter. Wonbin has traditional ideals and has a protective nature too. He's more of a thinker, doesn't talk as much in real life, but he's much more talkative and chatty when online. He's prone to overthinking too. Also another indicator for a lot of curiosity and a hunger for knowledge. Excellent placement for writing.

Gemini Saturn in 2H:

He's serious about learning and communication. Another placement that gets him misunderstood easily when he communicates his opinions. He's also very responsible when it comes to managing money.

Neptune 10H:

This is THE idol/celebrity placement. He's gonna be very glamorized by the public. Apart from glamorization, Neptune also rules over the arts so for Wonbin even if he didn't become an idol he would still be connected to art in some way and would be known for his artistic qualities more. With the combination of both Neptune and Mercury here I think again Wonbin would make a great actor. He should be careful to not become too obsessed with public image and be consumed by fame.

Uranus 10H:

His presence in the industry is very unique, truly a one of a kind person. The people with this placement usually become known for rebelling against someone powerful so at some point in his career we'll see him do it.

Pluto in 8H:

Once again, he's good at managing his money & also very good at hiding it. He also probably has been betrayed by his company a lot since this placement is an indicator of that.

(You can tell when I started to give up but I'll update this post again later if I notice any more aspects in his chart also forgive me if I made any grammatical mistakes I did this pretty fast 😭)

[vampire-wizard-solidarity]

not to continue being annoying and bringing up dead and irrelevant discourse (totk) but it’s kind of crazy to me how much almost mandatory resource farming they added into that fucking game.

like i Understand why they made armor upgrades cost rupees in addition to resources, it’s the same motivation they had for making hearty resources rarer and upgrading gemstones to functional items instead of just something you sell or an occasional upgrade item, it’s balancing the game to be a little more difficult by making its systems a little more complex. the difference is that 1. making hearty food more rare is just basic balancing 2. the reason the gemstone thing worked is bc it’s fundamentally about making me make an additional choice, going ‘do i sell this ruby to be richer or do i use it to set things on fire. what do i want more money or to set things on fire”. that choice is kind of diminished by the fact that there’s so many other elemental items that could be used for that purpose that are easier to get and that you accumulate naturally (i.e.: monster parts from elemental variants of enemies), but it’s still a choice that the player will most likely engage with at some point (probably early game). the idea is there.

the fairy fountain thing is just lazy. it’s not forcing me to engage with an existing system in a new way, it’s not asking me to make an interesting choice, it’s just like great. i have to grind for two things now instead of one. this process that was already inherently about grinding for resources is now just even more so. that’s the type of shit that doesn’t make engaging with this system more challenging, just more boring, meaning i’m just more likely to not engage with it more than necessary. and maybe that’s the goal? people said botw was too easy so we’re just gonna make one of the ways to make the game easier for u so boring u wouldn’t want to do it. great, guys. wonderful.

and like for context this criticism is coming from me, a guy who upgraded every single piece of armor in botw after completing the game just for fun. a guy who found every single blupee and cave in this game at the time when guides to the game were still being written so no one resource had the complete list of all the caves, nor all of koltin’s locations. a guy who FARMED STAR FRAGMENTS IN BOTW. do you know how boring, tedious and meaningless farming star fragments in botw is?

my point is i’m not someone who’s unfamiliar with boring, repetitive tasks that offer little to no reward apart from the feeling of accomplishment. i don’t mind farming for resources in theory. its just that there are aspects of totk’s resource farming that just make me feel cynical and not want to engage on principal, like it feels like the developers are sending me on a boring side quest that will make me feel like this game has more content than it does, just because they’re refusing for its systems to be simple or convenient. don’t even get me started on how needlessly complicated upgrading ur battery is, there is no reason for me to be talking to more than one npc, there’s no reason for this amount of transactions or locations being involved, this is all just busywork.

i’m gonna be so real i never finished totk, i at least checked out all the content it has to offer apart from the final boss fight, and part of it was bc i was like this game didn’t earn a final cathartic moment. this game just made me do a bunch of busy work, insulted my favorite characters (except for mipha ig… ill take it as a small peace offering from the devs for wasting her potential in botw), and took my favorite horse (guardian stalker) in the divorce.

also gleeok is a bad mini boss

[puppppppppy]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

[silusvesuius]

n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.

[digitaldesignation]

Yay! Someone else falling into this rabbit hole! Just started on my own journey lol. Genuinely, I think if we could get answers on the clones, on the stuff like this where they just leave nuggets like this and dip, we'd end up with 10+ years of Star Wars content.

Most of this is gonna be personal musings on what I've tried to connect so far.

Firstly, definitely agree with anomalous-fox on the "why" being to make them more nationalistic and loyal by isolating them, similar to a degree to what Palps was doing with Anakin, as well as just looking at historical groups who indoctrinated Youths for their regimes. (I think the trainers would've seen it as more confirmation on the corruption of the Republic/Jedi. And who amongst the clones is going to question the Jedi knowing about their army if elite troopers are being trained on their doorstep?)

Personally, I'd wager Palps even curated the 501st specifically for Anakin to lead. Stick him in the middle of some of the most brainwashed troopers - sorry, sorry the most loyal and elitely trained - and slowly erode his boundaries on the slave army he's helping lead along with all the other horrors (because his boys are different. Slaves aren't made guards, unless you're waiting for them to shoot you in the back. And Anakin trusts his boys not to shoot him so are they really slaves? maybe palpatine is right).

As for where, no dice. I saw something about one of Coruscant's moons on one of the wikis (can't find it again tho in any of the CG entries or entries about the moons) and in the notes here; I haven't seen concrete references yet to back that. Nothing to disprove it either though. The two resources I found (Insider magazine, which I don't have, and the complete visual dictionary, which I do) don't list a specific place, or say much other than that they were "brought in secret to Coruscant." Which is so vague. I'm assuming either an older Republic facility was quietly repurposed/given new life (could be a cool idea if any Old Republic barracks were still around), or some of that Lower Levels or Outter Rim aid money conveniently was redirected into Coruscant's underworld for an unspecified "aid" project around the start of Palpatine's Chancellorship, building a facility that's deep enough it's not safe to question its presence if there are even enough people to see it. Palps could have even used the accounts left by Plagueis to fund an inconspicuous construction, if direct Senate funding seems too risky.

And Kaminoans don't appear to need too much adjustment environmentally, if at all. Maybe some humidifier rooms? I'm not sure what would convince them to leave Kamino. If not money, maybe research specimens/etc to quirk their scientific interests enough to put up with it. And the facility being in the polluted lower levels gives an extra excuse for no one to be outside to be seen.

Getting them all there seems like a basic smuggling question. If Dooku can sneak onto Coruscant in the middle of a war, when security should be on steroids, I feel like pre-war would be no different than average Coruscanti smuggling difficulty. Palpatine would have been Cancellor by the time any troopers would be getting transfered to Coruscant. (Maybe even visited to oversee progress. We know his cloak is as powerful as Clark Kent's glasses lol.) Combine that with whatever corrupt officials, black market/underground networks Palps already had, however much extra Chancellor-y powers he's weasled for himself by the time any clones are moved (if they're trained initially on Kamino and only moved for desired skills being displayed, since he was gathering more power even before the emergency powers/military creation act), and Coruscant's already healthy slave/trafficker network, there's probably a million ways for a few hundred shuttles with official codes/paid off air traffic security to steadily be bringing cadets into Coruscanti space without notice.

Overall, I think kaminoans wouldn't emphasize it because why would the location of their perfect soldiers and perfect training plans matter? It's all perfect. And the Jedi, who knows what they know or would be able to find in the training facility? If they even know it exists. It would have gone from 0 clones to 100,000 and counting within the span of a week. Would they really notice a few thousand that didn't show up with the rest, with all the death and chaos of one mission? Especially when the Guard don't seem to interact much with Jedi in their duties and the 501st could have been presented as just an elite group being incorporated into Kenobi's troops under Anakin, then they're assigned permanently once he's Knighted. Maybe eventually they take notice, while the Council has Shadows searching for leads on how the clone army was commissioned. Even if they did notice early on, I don't think they'd be able to question it initially.

Idk I think this is a really cool opportunity to fill in the blanks in a way that makes sense to you. And then share with the rest of us so we can all brainstorm. XD Hope this helped or at least gave you a few ideas!

Really hope they give us more clone-centric content tho. They're so cool, yet we know so little about them.

I have a genuine question about the 501st and the Coruscant guard. In Legends, The 501st and Corries were raised on Coruscant. Is there a specific facility they were kept? Did the Kaminonans just buy a building and put them there? Did Tyranus set up the amenities for the Kaminonans? Why is this mentioned off handedly? Why is Coruscant instead of Kamino? Why?