#and even less that i fully understand
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justablah56 · 1 year ago
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i saw the stranger things post you reblogged on my dash and was just like “oh cool one of my old mutuals from my past stranger things hyperfixation” and looked at who reblogged it and was like 🤯🤯🤯 (i let out a little chuckle. amusing)
see the funny thing is that I haven't actually watched the full show dhnsmsksmsm but glad me randomly rbing a post was silly to you <3
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dykedvonte · 4 months ago
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I think about the fact Anya locking herself in the infirmary with Curly to kill herself and how it is in way reclaiming a space that was initially hers from Jimmy.
Not to mention how she must've been aware of Jimmy's obsession with Curly and the idea that he would lose his power over the both of them (based on the fact she likely thought they would never get the door open) and having to face the responsibility of two deaths being on his hands as acting captain.
It was her final act of agency stuck on that ship with her abuser and it says something that she chose to die next to Curly, despite his inaction, leaned against him as if they were just in a casual conversation before her death. Despite everything, Anya made the final decision on her own terms and it speaks volumes considering her treatment and demeanor up until that point.
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mohntilyet · 3 months ago
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Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating
NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around
#and you raise a very hilarious point too LMFAO#not that he is jealous. just mad as hell its not working <3 I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH AND A NORMAL AMOUNT#to be clear i think his characterisation changed dramatically from wigmaker's job and a lot of his uh#very rash decisions about achieving power feels like they just needed a traitor character for lucanis#to really max out the use of spite. i really wish honestly that there was some canon support for illario#who would probably be a little more liked/popular than lucanis. bc lucanis is respected by the crows#but he's also a very distant 'dellamorte heir' figure. respect is not the same as being liked. so you know#there's the serious assassin with a rep for how good he is at killing#and there's a friendlier assassin with a rep for sweet talking#and neither of those reputations are necessarily true. but i know which one i'd be less afraid of#and i think illario would know that. and be able to use that. BUT WE DONT GET IT. WHATEVER.....#illario dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#answered#also we're introduced to an illario that understands being a crow. and has had all that drilled into him since childhood#why. would he. ally with the venatori.#why would he put himself into a situation that he couldnt control. other than 'the story needs a villain'#what im trying to say. is . there were the makings of a crow civil war here that ends with him tragically dead#if you asked me to expand on this i dont think i could. but like the main issue being the crows not standing together making#the antaam invasion worse (btw regarding this why the fuck were the antaam even invading) so lucanis' quest is#idk. something like uniting the crows together and potentially repairing his relationship w illario#or hardening him and convincing he needs to kill illario#this is me spitballing. dont even mind me#(glances at the 'illario mention' alarm going off in the background)#EDIT: AND ALSO IT JUST CAME TO ME#killing illario as an ending also makes lucanis first talon (oh we're really in the cycles now)#forgiving illario ends with illario becoming 'talon' tho he and lucanis work closely. like a ceo vs cfo#and ends with them repairing their relationship#in the ideal world lucanis would fully leave but im alright with crows making small steps towards becoming a bit healthier
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moodlesmain · 5 months ago
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I feel like Metal Sonic fans fall into two camps
Camp A - fans who believe Metal Sonic should have a chance to grow and become his own person completely separate from Sonic, and forge an identity all his own!!
Camp B - fans who believe Metal Sonic when he says he IS Sonic and think he should get the chance to prove himself RIGHT and prove everyone who doubted him or called him a copy DEAD WRONG (i’m Camp B)
Either way we can all agree Metal Sonic is trans as hell 🏳️‍⚧️🤝🏳️‍⚧️
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yrlocalghost · 3 months ago
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you know. i feel like chara is obviously a very complex character and has a lot of problems and a lot going on, but i always thought that the fact that the whole wanting to kill people from their village was like. not that bad. in and of itself.
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trans-leek-cookie · 4 months ago
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listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.
The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.
To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.
If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take
Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"
Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.
I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.
And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).
Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)
Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?
Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.
It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware
Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy
#Mouthwashing spoilers#Rape ment#Suicide ment#SA ment#Yeah. Pronouns were kicking m fucking ass in this post. Names also bc I once called curly jimmy#if I write to much my brain stops cooperating with words#Idk. The way she brings up the locks in my mind sounds a little less like#Singular Incident and more. The lack of locks is a Very Important Boundary That's Missing#That feels like it often leads to the erosion of other important boundaries especially when someone abusive#Is specifically pushing those boundaries. Idk again. My take on it#And while Anya says ''i told you'' a part of me thinks she told him like. Y'know vaguely about the situation but probably didn't#Characterize it as assault (bc even if he didn't believe her I don't think he would ask ''who'' if he remembered her telling him#That his friend assaulted her) and was maybe not interpreting it as assault herself bc she was trying to rationalize it#Bc she's in a very isolated situation for over a year in a place where Two Whole Rooms Have Locks.#Realizing she was in the cockpit (has a lock) when Curly is assuming she's suicidal (or at least going to hurt herself)#And then she's in the medbay (has a lock) when she actually. Y'know#Idk I'm fully up to debate this. If someone has good reasoning why curly is actually worse than I think he is I'm all for it#I'm just trying to like. In the context of my beliefs understand the actions he takes and how they fit in within the timeframe#But legit watching a chronological playthrough helps A LOT bc like. Game is super impactful nonlinear#But like. That's not how the characters experienced it and it really fucks with the timeline of events intuitively#Anyway again. If u hate curly that's entirely understandable I just want to try and organize my thoughts while keeping#The timeline and my view of events relatively straight. Feel like there's sometimes a lil too much focus on how the men failed Anya#When we should focus on what Anya's needs and wants are. Which ofc from our POV characters are Hard bc. It's curly and jimmy#But still it's worth trying to understand her better than they do#Game that makes you think so much your brain becomes mouthwash
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elizabethrobertajones · 8 months ago
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jump scared by the 4th Doctor saying "well" with an uncanny intonation to how 10 says it, except I thought that was just a David Tennant-ism considering he does it in everything eventually, like, that CAN'T have started with him copying this cadence and absorbing it into his being? Right?
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fantasy-girl974 · 3 months ago
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I have mass deleted all my arts on the bird account🧹 So you can find all my socials here : Carrd (take note for Bluesky I have one for my other arts and one for Ace Attorney)
But just know I post majority of my arts mainly here where I'm the most active ✨ *** I'm also taking this opportunity to say hello new followers!! 👋💕
If you're here for my Ace Attorney content and my fanbook project, welcome welcome, you're in the right place!
I'll probably be in this for a looong time since I only just started the Apollo Justice Trilogy last week. I'm at case 4-3, and I can't wait to finally fully discover the 4-4 case (I only know the big events of the story just thanks to the Wiki when I was starting to get interested by the games, but really in depth after AA4, I know nothing *hides* ).
Anyway *ahem* enjoy your stay 💖
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shadowedvales · 13 days ago
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jane does not accept sara hopper’s hair tie as a gift from jim, and not once does she wear it around her wrist. people often get the impression that because of her sheltered upbringing, jane is dumb, or doesn’t understand social cues, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. once she finds out about sara, about how jim lost her, she would come to understand that’s why he was so protective of her in the cabin, why it became toxic and overbearing. she doesn’t excuse his behaviour, but begins to understand it. she understands that he was projecting his dead daughter onto her. after she’s recovered from closing the gate, and he offers her the hair tie, she gently places it back into his hand, saying “i am janessa. not sara.” it’s important she starts growing into her own person, that she stops wearing hand-me-downs and that she definitely does not wear something his biological child owned. jane asks about sara a lot because she wants to get to know her in her own way, she wants to see photographs and hear stories, but she does not ever want to be her. jim is not her father, jane is not his daughter. they both come from broken, fragile families, and have made a new one with each other, but should not be replacing the ones they’ve lost.
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nomsfaultau · 8 months ago
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well i had a tumblr error so I'm going to copy and paste the ask
wlwdwtys asked:
(Potentially) Daily ask №4
Tommy edition!
How did he become a collected? You don't gotta say if it's way too major spoilers
If he was given the opportunity to get rid of the Red permanently, would he? What if that meant that some random child in the world got the Red instead? Would his choice change?
How old is he?
His opinion on SCP 053? That one 3 year old girl physical contact with whom causes the person to become aggressive towards her but die moments after harming her, from a heart attack? She's kind of the opposite to his powers, isn't she?
BOOM I have brought a golden bracelet that allows to turn the red on and off at will. With just the intention to, basically. Now he can hug whoever he wants with little repercussions. Also, eat your vegetables, Tommy Innit.
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Not spoilers at all. Tommy and Philza’s first encounter consisted initially of Philza threatening to caramelize him till he was but naught a stain upon the earth all shuddered to remember etc etc. In Phil’s defense he thought the phone call was a hostage negotiation for his teleported mentee. After reunion with The Blade, Philza’s opinion about the summoning thing was that it was a power not in good hands, given teen Tommy was a twit, but at least non malicious ones. He figured it was best to be on good terms with Tommy given The Blade’s safety was on the line. Tommy naturally had a whole normal life going on and wasn’t exactly going to drop it to be with them 24/7, which Phil thought reasonable despite his security problem. Tommy started visiting them and bringing food (and his mum at first, who wasn’t pleased her kid was hanging around with homeless men but also recognized they had experience with powers that she couldn’t help Tommy with). Tommy was in desperate need of any sort of guidance given he was grappling with suddenly not being human anymore. Poor idiot thought he was in a different genre and mistook the anomalies for a band of superpowered vigilantes. The trio tried to tone everything down for him, make life on the run seem thrilling and not deadly, hide the bodies before he came to visit, etc. Everything just seems safer and lighter when Tommy was around. Philza became fond of the bright eyed ball of energy, and after months realized ‘oh muffin I want to Collect him.’ At which point Wilbur and The Blade traded money in the background. It was more efficient that way anyway, since The Blade wouldn’t be summoned if Tommy was safe so might as well protect him. Not sure what his long term plan was since mother innit would’ve had his hide if he suggested Tommy take up being a homeless nomad instead of going to college, but the Foundation captured Tommy before anything so I suppose it doesn’t matter much. Tommy’s initial reaction to being asked about Collection was “huh? But I already have a dad.”
Tommy would get rid of his Red in a heartbeat. It’s a curse to him, a large source of his trauma, and the reason the Foundation oppresses him. If someone else would get it… he’d still give it up. He’s not above selfishness. And honestly it still might be a better outcome since the new person wouldn’t be traumatized by their own power in a way that makes it far more dangerous and difficult to live with. Frankly if it wasn’t a trigger for him Tommy could very well touch people just fine since its effects are proportional to his panic.
Now that is a spoiler. But he was captured when in the late 15 area, and had a party with Tubbo and Rosalind for his 17th while in the Foundation. They were guessing tho, since it’s hard to keep track of time and so it didn’t really take place on the 10th of April, if I’m remembering Tommy’s birthday right. And since the clues are in Fault and at least a few commenters have figured it out: Tommy is actually 21, and everyone was in the Foundation for 5 years. The Blade is the only one who knows this due to his infrequent escapes. Due to a lack of typical developmental milestones such as graduation, moving out of his parents house (in a normal and safe way), etc Tommy still acts like a teenager. People well into adult hood like Rosalind, Rhodes, etc register him as a kid because of that immaturity. Philza doesn’t judge mortal ages well, Wilbur has no frame of reference and is always taller even when Tommy grows, and everyone is teeny tiny to The Blade. Tubbo was initially pretty shocked given how tall Tommy is, but Rhodes skewed the frame of reference. Plus, then Tommy opened his mouth.
In his role as a research tool, it’s possible Tommy’s encountered her, since the Foundation would want to know if she has powers outside of the touch thing. When ordered not to touch the kid, he laughed humorously. Likely he dripped some Red on her and then sat in the corner while the kid attacked the D-class. He was grateful about the heart attack part, far easier for them to just drop dead rather than watch a baby try to rip em apart. He’d probably try to comfort her after, and would have some degree of success given a scene where he calmed a hysterical Jasmine (5) and the number of instances helping Tubbo through the trauma of the Foundation. It’s helped but the fact 053 isn’t really affected by the attacks, but he would lose points for inadvertently suggesting some of his own ill advised coping mechanisms or convictions. I don’t think her anomalous affect would target him while the Red was active, so he might draw little pictures on the floor for her with Red while janitors took care of the body.
Tubbo has to carry around Tommy for days since he’s in full koala bear mode. They don’t mind but also they don’t have very high stamina due to how many bees they’ve lost. Wilbur would also get a lot of physical affection, and for once wouldn’t be a cagey tsundere about it. There’d be hesitation at first, of course, still instinctively demuring from contact and holding himself back, but that would fade into only subconscious, infrequent moments Tommy would be almost always touching someone, an arm slung over shoulders, a hand hooked in the crook of an elbow, leaning and pressing and starving.
He’d never turn it back on.
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alicepao13 · 26 days ago
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There is one comment that I read which annoyed me and I tried to let go without mentioning it but, you know what? The poster didn't think of keeping their thoughts to themselves about it, and it's the second time this exact thing is happening in relation to one of my shows, so what the hell.
Because of the anti-AI sentiment and discourse, some of which is justified and some completely unhinged (example: if you've ever bullied disabled people online for using it to make their life easier, please rethink your life choices and touch some grass), I'd think that people would be more careful who they're accusing of using AI in art. Turns out, people are not careful.
I've read quite a few "this must have been made with AI" false accusations lately but I did not expect someone to suggest that they used AI on Hudson and Rex. On footage that has already been filmed years ago, no less, and re-used in the new intro. Most of these scenes, including footage that had been used for a S4 promo, are not new. I assume that the use of the footage from S4 is what's confusing here, along with some not-so-smooth transitions and slow motion, which is something I found jarring as well. As a fan of the show, I don't need to know the technology to say that this wasn't due to AI. But as a person who has always tried to keep up with technological advancements and understands some of the AI technology, and as an amateur (non-AI) video editor, I can say that there was no AI use anywhere on that intro.
To people who have no idea what is or isn't AI or don't know much about film/tv/video making: Please don't make accusations like that. It's that simple. And think before you make a post. Posting an opinion presented as fact on a social medium, whether you realize it or not, is like saying something out loud in a crowded (or less crowded but certainly not empty) space. Someone is bound to see it sooner or later. And in a small fandom, it's actually more likely for someone to see it, even though the number of eyeballs is likely to be small, because content is scarce and your post will not "disappear" amongst an influx of other posts.
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I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.
It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.
It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.
When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.
Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.
I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.
#one day i will understand how to convey self in a way that is Mine and also Effective Communication#but lord knows it ain't today#it's always so interesting to me the way people decide to position me in their social/power schema#the funny thing i think is that even as a toddler people seemed to assign me a seriousness and gravity of social value that was both#irrational and inexplicable and in many cases wildly inappropriate#apparently one of my auntie's got in a bad way of 'consulting' me like her personal spiritual guide when I was like#two years old????#and she had to be like#you can't keep talking to my toddler about this stuff#that's an extreme one but like#it's also in line with the trend#i don't think people realize how dehumanizing it feels to be Assigned Moral and Social Weight and Value like that#it makes it so painfully clear to me that i am expected to manage to accommodate everyone's needs while never having#or at least never expressing or acknowledging in the presence of others#any needs of my own regardless of their impact on me#sometimes I think people assume that I went into the fields I did as like. a white knight type motivation#or like#that going into the field is what's made me the way I am#and like.#not really. it's more that I knew my role in life was 'other people's emotional regulation/go-to anchor' as long as I've had self-concept#and at a certain point you've been playing that role long enough that your options are either#become a subject matter expert and contributer to the field#or fucking kill yourself#because you certainly can't keep doing what you're doing#i dunno. i guess i just wished there was anyone in my life i trusted to see me as the fully complexified and messy human I am#i might feel a little less like i'm the only real thing in my life#anyway i think i'm gonna go. dissociate out of existence for a while before i get the kind of suicidal that's going to worry wifey#i don't think i can cope with needing to regulate her out of an anxiety response right now and i understand that means i can't need care atm#you ever just get the feeling that you're drowning under the weight of the needs you just can never seem to meet? i do.
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c0pernicus · 1 month ago
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my besties boyfriend is someone i rly dont enjoy interacting with for a variety of reasons but i also dont know how to talk to him about it without it being A Thing and he keeps trying rly rly hard to be friends with me . miserable existence pain and agony what do i do chat
#i frequently find that i just feel hurt or offended or offput by him way more than i enjoy interacting with him#and when ive spoken up about this in the past i have felt generally unheard#and also he called me a burden in a backhanded way ????????#like ive talked to bestie about it and he was fully understanding because apparently this is A Thing with his bf of just people can't .#really like#put up with how his bf acts/treats them#so like bestie said he understood and he gets that some people just dont vibe together and thats ok#but also like his bf is trying rly rly hard to be friends with me#and i . im so sorry dude but i dont want that i dont think#I SPENT A WEEK WITH MY CRUSH MAKING A FULL COMMUNE ON A SHARED MINECRAFT SERVER SO WE CAOULD ALL PLAY TOGETHER#EVERYONE GOT A TWO STORY CUSTOM TO THEIR TASTE FULLY FURNISHED HOUSE AND GREAT STUFF IN IT#A FARM AND ANIMALS#A FISHING SHACK#A MINE SHACK WITH A FULL SMITHING SPACE#A N D#A FULLY FUNCTIONING RAIL SYSTEM BETWEEN ALL OF THESE PLACES#and he hits me up less than a day after we showed everyone including him saying he wants to play modded minecraft do i have java#like mY BROTHER IN CHRIST THAT IS FAR FROM THE SOLE OR BIGGEST REASON I DONT WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH YOU BUT THAT IS JUST#YOU COULDNT HAVE WAITED A WEEK OR SOMETHING#THAT WAS SO OUCHIES MY GUY#LIKE WE WORKED SO HARD TO MAKE ALL OF THIS FOR EVERYONE#AND SO EVERYONE COULD PLAY T O G E T H E R#SORRY ITS VANILLA MINECRAFT BUT LIKE MY GUY NOT EVERYONE IN THE MC GROUP HAS THE MONEY TO JUST BUY JAVA ??? I SURE AS FUCK DON'T .#SOME PEOPLE DONT EVEN HAVE A COMPUTER TO PLAY JAVA ON AND YOU KNOW THIS BECAUSE WE ALL TALK ABOUT THIS FREQUENTLY#LIKE THATS INTENTIONALLY EXCLUDING PEOPLE FROM PLAYING AND THE TIMING IS HORRIBLE AND NO THIS IS NOT THAT HUGE OF A DEAL IN AN ISOLATED CON#HAS SRSLY RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY#and i know that people have talked to him about a lot of these things#including myself#and i have seen not a crumb of him having intention to work on it#like my guy please listen to what other people tell you
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exopelagic · 7 months ago
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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE
#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED#I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 I’m pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like 👀👀👀#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it#until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth#and I’ve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE#so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man#I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah I’m at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now#what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff#i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA#viola may be my favourite character I’m obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m#i NEED to know what’s up with thorn’s cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there#hrrgrhehh the thing that’s holding me back is I’m allergic to subscriptions#impermanence. even though I know it’s fairly unlikely I’ll wanna watch it again any time soon I don’t like the idea that I’d have to like#in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I can’t afford it even though I already paid for it once#I’m a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips#it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and I’ve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade#and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I won’t be able to watch much for a few weeks#fuck it I’m allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste#more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible I’m pretty sure when this is done I’ll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do#okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes#luke.txt#update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc it’s 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3
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thefuzzhead · 3 months ago
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bmpmp3 · 3 months ago
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also on that end though - it does always surprise me when white people completely and utterly miss mixed race coding in like books and other fiction. which i guess i shouldnt be surprised because of how bad they are with any racial coding at all really like (gestures vaguely at the hunger games rue situation for the past 15 years) but like straight up they dont see it? they don't even see...
#the rue situation was nuts and horrifically racist but also so so bizarre like okay. i read the hunger games by having my 6th grade teacher#read it to our whole class a chapter a day and even in all her mispronunciations of every character name (she said cinna like CHEE-nah)#(went italian with it i guess.... also effie as EE-fee - etc) and the fact that i was 11 i remember CLEARLY that she was discribed as#having dark skin and dark curly hair and put two and two together that she was black. like. hello. can anyone here me. its so dark in here.#but in a much less horribly antiblack and racist situation ONE TIME my (white) mom tried reading a book i really really loved in 8th grade#a victorian ish period young adult novel about a spy girl and like the main character spy also was half white and half chinese iirc#and in like the beginning theres a bit where shes getting questions about her features and for safety reasons she plays it off that she#got it from her irish mother i think. and i read that when i was 12 and saw how she was written to be nervous saying that#and put two and two together and was like oh shes mixed race cool. and then later in the book it was plot relevant and then spelled out#but when my mom read the beginning i mentioned offhandedly that oh i loved that book as a kid cause it was fun and i thought it was cool#to see a mixed race main character in a fun basic spy thriller story like this and my mom was so confused like but shes irish?#and i was like. oh. um. maybe. and waited until she finished the whole book where it was fully spelled out for her to get it LOL#like it wasnt bad or anything it was just a surprise. my mom did understand it when it was spelled out later and thought it was neat#i mean she does have mixed race children after all (meeeeee LOL) but i was like so confused. i like. forgot. that white people dont#think about this stuff that often or at all by default so they just dont see it when its in front of them.#<- mixed race guy who rediscovers the concept of the white default brand new every day
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