#and even if doc gives me ideas things to help me those are still things I need to implement myself and that too is hard to initiate
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the-golden-dragoness · 3 months ago
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Not crying and being guilt ridden again :))))))
#tgdposts#personal#when I can’t articulate to people around me so it results in my mind confronting me#(confronting is a strong word here but I digress)#about me struggling to make any decision regarding my future#and on a lesser note being guilt ridden when I’m unable to meet with people because I’m trying to be productive but then I’m unable to be#productive and oh why weren’t we able to meet up but if I share it it just seems like I was being fucking lazy and fuck I hate this#and fuck it’s hard to talk to my dad like he’s a nice guy but I know he doesn’t really understand and sometimes it’s just hard to explain#things with the weight they have in my heart you know?#it’s so hard to explain that I’m not just procrastinating or being a jobless useless bum I don’t even know how to bring that up#and even if doc gives me ideas things to help me those are still things I need to implement myself and that too is hard to initiate#and talking about all of it just makes me feel like a guilty useless shithead#and I know it’s not true but that doesn’t make me feel it any less#from the outside of my brain it just seems like I’m making up my own problems#how do you even talk about that#anyway#I’m going to bed now I’m tired#if you read this I appreciate you for listening to me#you guys are great#<3#mental illness#I guess might as well tag it as this#rant#vent#vent post#summer is lowkey my worst season mentally lowkey which is kind of sad if you think about it
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insertdisc5 · 1 year ago
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🎮 HEY I WANNA MAKE A GAME! 🎮
Yeah I getcha. I was once like you. Pure and naive. Great news. I AM STILL PURE AND NAIVE, GAME DEV IS FUN! But where to start?
To start, here are a couple of entry level softwares you can use! source: I just made a game called In Stars and Time and people are asking me how to start making vidy gaems. Now, without further ado:
SOFTWARES AND ENGINES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE!!!
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Ren'py (and also a link to it if you click here do it): THE visual novel software. Comic artists, look no further ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It has great documentation! It has a bunch of plugins and UI stuff and assets for you to buy! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) You can also port your game to a BUNCH of consoles! ✨Cons: None really <3 Some games to look at: Doki Doki Literature Club, Bad End Theater, Butterfly Soup
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Twine: Great for text-based games! GREAT FOR WRITERS WHO DONT WANNA DRAW!!!!!!!!! (but you can draw if you want) ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's versatile! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) ✨Cons: You can add pictures, but it's a pain. Some games to look at: The Uncle Who Works For Nintendo, Queers In love At The End of The World, Escape Velocity
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Bitsy: Little topdown games! ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's (somewhat) intuitive! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! You can make everything in it, from text to sprites to code! Those games sure are small! ✨Cons: Those games sure are small. This is to make THE simplest game. Barely any animation for your sprites, can barely fit a line of text in there. But honestly, the restrictions are refreshing! Some games to look at: honestly I haven't played that many bitsy games because i am a fake gamer. The picture above is from Under A Star Called Sun though and that looks so pretty
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RPGMaker: To make RPGs! LIKE ME!!!!! NOTE: I recommend getting the latest version if you can, but all have their pros and cons. You can get a better idea by looking at this post. ✨Pros: Literally everything you need to make an RPG. Has a tutorial inside the software itself that will teach you the basics. Pretty simple to understand, even if you have no coding experience! Also I made a post helping you out with RPGMaker right here! ✨Cons: Some stuff can be hard to figure out. Also, the latest version is expensive. Get it on sale! Some games to look at: Yume Nikki, Hylics, In Stars and Time (hehe. I made it)
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engine.lol: collage worlds! it is relatively new so I don't know much about it, but it seems fascinating. picture is from Garden! NOTE: There's a bunch of smaller engines to find out there. Just yesterday I found out there's an Idle Game Maker made by the Cookie Clicker creator. Isn't life wonderful?
✨more advice under the cut. this is Long ok✨
ENGINES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND THEY SEEM HARD BUT ALSO GIVE IT A TRY I GUESS!!!! :
Unity and Unreal: I don't know anything about those! That looks hard to learn! But indie devs use them! It seems expensive! Follow your dreams though! Don't ask me how!
GameMaker: Wuh I just don't know anything about it either! I just know it's now free if your game is non-commercial (aka, you're not selling it), and Undertale was made on it! It seems good! You probably need some coding experience though!!!
Godot: Man I know even less about this one. Heard good things though!
BUNCHA RANDOM ADVICE!!!!
-Make something small first! Try making simple: a character is in a room, and exits the room. The character can look around, decide to take an item with them, can leave, and maybe the door is locked and you have to find the key. Figuring out how to code something like that, whether it is as a fully text-based game or as an RPGMaker map, should be a good start to figure out how your software of choice works!
-After that, if you have an idea, try first to make the simplest version of that idea. For my timeloop RPG, my simplest version was two rooms: first room you can walk in, second room with the King, where a cutscene automatically plays and the battle starts, you immediately die, and loop back to the first room, with the text from this point on reflecting this change. I think I also added a loop counter. This helped me figure out the most important thing: Can This Game Be Made? After that, the rest is just fun stuff. So if you want to make a dating sim, try and figure out how to add choices, and how to have affection points go up and down depending on your choices! If you want to make a platformer, figure out how to make your character move and jump and how to create a simple level! If you just want to make a kinetic visual novel with no choices, figure out how to add text, and how to add portraits! You'll be surprised at how powerful you'll feel after having figured even those simple things out.
-If you have a programming problem or just get confused, never underestimate the power of asking Google! You most likely won't be the only person asking this question, and you will learn some useful tips! If you are powerful enough, you can even… Ask people??? On forums??? Not me though.
-Yeah I know you probably want to make Your Big Idea RIGHT NOW but please. Make a smaller prototype first. You need to get that experience. Trust me.
-If you are not a womanthing of many skills like me, you might realize you need help. Maybe you need an artist, or a programmer. So! Game jams on itch.io are a great way to get to work and meet other game devs that have different strengths! Or ask around! Maybe your artist friend secretly always wanted to draw for a game. Ask! Collaborate! Have fun!!!
I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye
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buckyalpine · 2 years ago
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An idea!
Maybe an FWB situation with BestestFriend!BuckyxAvenger!Reader they do it mostly for Bucky after a long, gruesome, taxing mission. Bucky made it clear that no feelings must be involved. He also made it clear that he’s not into her as he is still very much inlove and hung up with his ex. Basically this FWB situation mostly benefits Bucky, even Nat thinks it’s not really a FWB, just Bucky using her. But she doesn’t mind. Bucky is a good fuck. Like damnnn good. And if she can’t have Bucky as a romantic partner, she’ll take what she can get. Besides, Bucky told her that he doesn’t want an avenger or an agent as a partner. Too much danger and chaos for his heart. He wants to love a civilian like his ex, in hopes of living a normal life after retiring.
So, she starts distancing herself when she sees Bucky slowly trying to get back with his ex. Less sex, more excuses. But for some reason? Bucky does not like it. He does not like how you were not there anymore, how you don’t need nor seek him for the “benefit,” he’s also not that happy with whatever he’s doing to win his ex back. She doesn’t necessarily reject him when he asks for sex, just avoids him all in all. Day by day though, she consumes his thoughts and mind. Did he do something wrong? Say something? Forget something? What did he do to deserve this treatment from her? Bottom line, he misses her. What’s weird is, she’s still there as his best friend when he needs either steve or her. Just less of that benefits part
Then it grows progressively worse (for Bucky) from there as he sees her bring one night stands, to consistent and stable dates in their home. He’s still happy tho Bc if the date goes wrong or the one night stand doesn’t satisfy her, she goes to Bucky for a satisfying sex.
However, what pushes Bucky over the edge was one night filled with passion. Both of them feels this sex is different. One thinks he’s doing and feeling this extreme emotion Bc he’s angry while the other thinks she’s just frustrated. But the truth is? It’s passion and connection between them. She feels so good that she can’t help but blurt out “oh god I wish my future boyfriend/husband could fuck and fill me up like you do”
That’s it for Bucky. Those words are enough to make him feral. Just the thought of another man giving her attention, affection, love, adoration, and faithfulness makes him sick to the core. So, He fucks her with all his might, all his feelings. He fucks her with all the possessiveness and the green monster inside him. He fucks her in hopes of filling her full and deep that no other man can reach and own her like he does. (Maybe even breed her so that no man would actually be with her, but him)
Bc how bold of her to think that he would let another man touch her. That he would let her wear someone else’s ring and last name? That he would let her carry another man’s babies? No. Absolutely not.
Obviously this confuses her, but she thinks of it as part of their play. Maybe heat of the moment? Whatever it is, it’s hot and made their sex better so she didn’t question Bucky as of the moment.
Come next morning, she wakes up buried in bucky’s arms tightly and securedly wrapped around her as if she would disappear any moment. She has things to do so she attempts to leave but this just wakes Bucky up. She was abt to say something but Bucky just kisses her passionately yes Bucky now admits what it is. Not letting her go and aiming for another hot steamy possessive sex. Her words from last night ringing in his ears as she tries to leave.
Idk what to do next, I just want them to be happy and together in the end (maybe fast forward to their wedding? To them having twins?) 😭 then maybe the last line was like “well my love, you’re lucky your husband could fuck and fill you just like I did when we were fuck buddies”
18+
This is so perfect, i love this and that ending line is sending me, its so angsty and steamy and fuck it's so cute. Literally had to pull out a google doc to paste the request so I could look at my draft and the points side by side cause of all the details, I’m so sorry if I missed anything 
-
“Strictly sex?”
“Strictly sex” 
Bucky’s lips smashed onto yours as soon as the words left your mouth, the both of you clawing off your tactical gear, throwing it off haphazardly. You didn’t even make it to the bedroom; Bucky had taken you right in the middle of the safe house floor, no prep, sliding into you and fucking you till the sun was up. 
Moments earlier
The mission was long. Stressful. Violent. Bloody. You weren’t even sure if you’d make it but you’d both made it out alive. You’d noticed Bucky on edge the entire time, his jaw clenched, fingers twitching while you tried to patch up a few scratches on yourself. 
“You okay Buck?”
“M’fine” He mumbled, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back, resting on the wall of the jet letting out a strained groan. 
“You don’t seem fine” You gave him a pointed look, clearly not believing him. “What do you normally do to relax” You cocked an eyebrow while Bucky stared at you, his eyes turning a shade darker. 
“Fuck” His eyes bore into you, challenging you to ask more questions, his patience wearing thin. “I fuck” 
“I can help with that” 
*****
“So what’s with you and y/n?” 
“Nothin’“
“You’re saying there's nothing?”
“I- I’m not over Lauren yet” Bucky shrugged, his mind constantly clinging onto his ex. She was the first girl he had dated in years and the first girl he felt anything for in a long time. The break up was mutual; his job took up long hours and the longer he was away, the more they grew apart. The split was made sense but he couldn’t let go of the lingering feeling in the back of his mind about how things would have been if he had just tried harder. Bucky set down the mug he was drinking from, leaving the kitchen while you entered. He gave you a nod, making his way to the gym to punch his feelings away. What if he had just tried harder...
Nat shrugged, not pushing the matter further but she never believed either of you when you both insisted there was nothing more between you. She knew damn well Bucky was using you to fuck his feelings away but it didn’t seem to bother you. You were more than satisfied with some super solder dick because it was good. Damn good. Still, she was a trained assassin and not stupid. Nat could see the way your eyes would linger on him for a second longer and the way you’d lighten up as soon as he stepped into the room. 
“So you and Barnes are just friends, huh?” 
“Obviously” You looked at her with wide eyes, hoping to ignore her question while you made yourself some tea but she continued to stare at your instead. “It’s nothing more than that. We hook up sometimes but it’s just casual”
“And you’re completely okay with things staying just the way they are?”  She cocked an eyebrow, her eyes narrowed accusatorily as if she could see right through you. “You’re fine with always just being a quick fuck?” 
“It’s what we both need, honestly, I’m fine with the way things are” You nodded,  thinking back to a conversation the both of you had both had after a mission. 
“If I ever settle down, it’d have to be with someone outside of all this”
“Outside of what?” 
“This” Bucky waved his hand around, pointing to the arsenal of weapons you were putting away after yet another grueling mission. “All this avenger shit, saving the world. I just want to go home to something peaceful. normal. Leave all this behind and just exist with someone I love. I’d never date someone from the team or someone associated with this, it’s too much” 
You felt a strange tightness in your chest at his words but you shrugged the feeling off, understanding where Bucky was coming from. 
“So who do you think you’ll end up with Barnes” 
Why were you asking him this as if you’d like the answer. 
“Maybe someone like Lauren” He mumbled, “Just someone who isn’t a part of this. Normal”
You felt the tightness creep back up but you shoved it back down. After all he’d been through, he deserved a little bit of normal. 
You took your tea and made your way to your room, sipping while you thought about Nat’s question. Were you okay with the way things were? He was a good friend to you and no doubt the only person who could have you screaming till your lungs were sore. 
Still. 
He was never yours.
He never saw you that way.
You were just a good fuck.
He always loved his ex.
It didn’t help that you’d recently noticed he’d been out more often. He didn’t say anything to you directly but you could tell he was trying to get back with his ex.  Cut his hair. Cleaned up. Quietly going out and not breathing a word about where he was off to. You weren’t 100% sure what he was doing but it was enough for you to decided you had to pull back. 
A few weeks later
Bucky frowned, hearing yet another excuse from you as you made your way to your room, softly closing your door and hearing the muffled noise of your TV switch on, not going to bed like you insisted. It had been weeks since he’d spoken to you properly. He couldn’t even remember the last time you had the benefits part of your “friendship” You were usually always slinking around him like a cat, your touch, your voice, your scent, some form of you always surrounding him. 
Recently?
Nothing. 
He didn’t like it.
Not one damn bit. 
 He hated that you didn’t wrap your arms around him randomly, whispering in his ear about how badly you needed him. Or the way you’d bite your lip looking over to him in the middle of the field, a silent promise of sucking his soul out as soon as the mission was over. Or how your back would arch off the bed, your thighs suffocating him, tugging the hair from his roots when he nursed from your clit as if your arousal quenched his thirst. Or the way he’d let his cum seep down your thighs, fucking it back into you with his fingers, getting you to lick them clean afterwards-
Bucky groaned to himself, shifting uncomfortably at the hard on he’d given himself thinking about you. It’s not even like he could go to you to get you to take care of it. The few time’s he’d tried to initiate something, you were tired. Had cramps. Not feeling well. Injured. Always something, leaving him high and dry, avoiding him all together. He decided to make his way down to the gym, punching his feelings away yet again, though this time they were over you. 
A few more days had done by and Bucky was worse than before. Sure he was talking to his ex again, but he was more concerned over the growing distance between you both. You’d both agreed the benefits would stay just the same unless either of you got into a committed relationship and while he had reconnected with Lauren, they weren’t official....
Why did you avoid him so much?
Was it because of Lauren?
Why did he even try to reconnect with her...
How come you didn’t let him get close to you anymore?
He started to wrack and pick at his brain wondering where it all went down hill. Did he say something to you? He didn’t forget your birthday, he’d gotten you everything you’d ever mentioned, even the littlest things you figured he hadn’t paid attention to. So what did he do to deserve this? He’s pent up like never before and it’s not just sexually. It dawns on him that he needs more than just sex, he also needs your friendship, your softness, your laugh. 
He missed you. 
All of you. 
Of course you were there for him when he needed you, patching him up after missions, keeping his favorite snacks always stocked up, listening to him vent about Sam. It wasn’t the same though. As soon as you did your job taking care of him, you were out of his hair and off to do something else that had nothing to do with him. 
*****
Bucky thought it was bad before but now he was seeing red. He was silently seething, seeing yet another handsome stranger drop you off, kissing you and giving your ass a playful squeeze before letting you make your way inside. The worst was when your stupid dates would actually make it inside the compound and all the way up to your room, Bucky had never been more thankful for sound proof walls. He watched you carefully, your smile dropping as soon as your date drove off, kicking your heels off and making your way to the kitchen to pour yourself a drink. 
Though Bucky despised seeing you after dates (unable to understand why he felt so strongly about them in the first place) there was one benefit to your rendezvous. One he wouldn’t openly admit to enjoying. A twisted part of him was happy when you didn’t enjoy yourself because while you would keep your distance from him on a regular basis, there were a few select times you’d relent and give into your needs. Like right now. 
“Bad date?” He cocked his head while you downed the dark liquid in one go, slinking over to his side, the warmth of your skin radiating off you. You nodded, letting your arms drape around his shoulders, standing between his legs. 
“Wanna help me forget?” 
It happened often and left Bucky more tormented than before. He hated that you only came to him when you needed to forget your shitty date but what could he say when you were supposed to be just friends with benefits anyway. You have a hold on him he can’t even explain. A hold no one else had ever had on him before. Not even his ex. 
His ex.
Bucky isn’t even sure why he had tried to reconnect with her. He realized there was nothing between the day he met her again after months. He remembered the relationship differently; rose coloured glasses making him forget that there wasn’t ever a strong connection between them. Now he was struggling to figure out why all of his thoughts were consumed with you. If that was the only way he’d get to have you then he’d take what he could get. 
*****
Bucky smiled to himself when he heard the a soft knock at his door, opening it to find your semi disheveled state, your hair a mess, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt. 
“Need something doll?” Bucky smirked while you rolled your eyes, pushing past him, walking right into his room. You were there for one thing and one thing only. He knew it and you knew it.
“You know what I need Barnes” You huffed, unsatisfied from your date who rubbed you like a scratch lottery ticket, asking if you had finished 30 seconds after. “He couldn’t find my clit” You shook your head, tossing your tshirt off, leaving you bare moving laying on his bed “Not that most guys can”
Bucky felt all of his blood rush down south, it didn’t matter how many times he’d seen you naked, how many times he’d had you spread out for him, he’d forever be taken with how perfect you looked wearing absolutely nothing. He palmed his boner as he made his way over to you, stripping all his clothes off before giving his cock a few tugs. 
“Pretty sure I can” Bucky murmured, crawling onto the bed and spreading your legs in front of his face. “And if I remember correctly...” He nipped your inner thigh making, smiling to himself at the soft gasp that slipped form your lips, pressing a sloppy wet kiss right onto your clit “It’s right there, isn’t it baby”
You let out a whimper, nodding while he hummed, a cocky smirk curling on his lips. He pressing his hard cock against the mattress for some relief, the feel of your soft silkiness making him leak. “I know exactly where my pretty doll’s clit is, don’t worry your pretty head baby” 
“He didn’t know how to touch you, huh” Bucky cocked an eyebrow when you silent shook your head, his thumb coming to rub soft circles around your clit, “You like it slow and gentle at first, hm? Barely touching you, teasing you a little before getting faster?” Bucky watched you carefully, your chest rising up and down faster as he started to apply more pressure, his blue eyes locked with yours. “Then you like it faster, just like this” He removed his thumb, twitching to his two fingers', coating them in your arousal before using his fingers tips to rub you making you moan louder, “That’s right, sing for me baby, sing for me while I play with your pretty little clit” 
“I remember you loved when I did this...” He gently sealed his lips around your sensitive nub, suckling with the lightest pressure, his hands holding your thighs apart, loving the way you moaned just for him. He pulled off so he could use his tongue, lapping and twirling around your clit, groaning at the sweetness that coated his tongue. 
“Need-need more” You moaned, getting louder as he pushed two fingers into you, curling them and speeding up his pace, grinding against the bed, his balls growing heavy. “Need your cock Bucky! Please fuck me” You grabbed at his shoulders, too desperate for just his fingers, needing to feel all of him. 
“Okay, okay baby, m’here” Bucky cooed, as he came up, kissing your neck, jealousy creeping through his veins smelling the remnants of your dates cologne still lingering on your skin. 
Another man. Who touched you. Felt your body. 
Unacceptable. 
“Need you” You moaned again, feeling his cock nudge against your soaked entrance, your thighs wrapping around his waist. Your eyes were practically pleading with him, rolling back when you felt him start to press into you, moaning into your neck. 
“You have me” Bucky groaned as he shoved his cock into you, not giving you a second to adjust, his arms wrapped tightly around you, and pounding you right into the mattress. You cried out from pleasure, the air nearly knocked out of your lungs from his cock hitting your sweet spot, his cock starting to drip inside you. You could feel him all over, his body weight heavy on top of yours, the scent of his body wash, the scent of him, the heat off his body, the way he tasted when he smashed his lips against yours. 
You’d hooked up plenty of times before but none of them were like this. 
Bucky’s face was tucked into the crook of your neck, sucking dark bruises, gently licking and kissing them right after. His arms were holding you tight against him, rolling his hips so that he’d still be pressed against every inch of your body the entire time. It felt like he was trying to fuck the deepest depths of your soul, unrelenting, the bed post steadily thudding against the bedroom wall.  
 Bucky felt it too. Something more. He didn’t know what, maybe you were frustrated, pent up from being unsatisfied but he’d never had you like this before. Your legs squeezed his sides, your nails scratching down his back, trying to pull him impossibly closer. You were begging him for more, nearly crying, tears clouding your vision as he braced himself up slightly on his knees, fucking you even deeper. He savored your sweetness on his tongue, the smell of your shampoo, how silky and soft your body was. His cock was throbbing, threatening to blow sooner than he’d like, your pussy sucking him back in every time he fucked you. 
Your hands went to card through his hair, your nails grazing through his scalp, drawing the sluttiest moan from Bucky, his eyes rolling back, fucking you even harder. You could feel your arousal squirt out of you at how desperate and delicious he sounded, squirming under him, feeling the wiry hair at the base of his cock rub against your clit. 
No one else had ever satisfied you the way he did, touching you in a way that made your body light on fire. He felt so good, fucked so good, tasted so good, made you feel things everywhere. Your heart was screaming, wanting to making the night last forever, but forever wasn’t something either of you agreed on. He wasn’t yours. If only. If only you could always have this. You needed this. Exactly this. You tried to bite your tongue, your voice needy and broken, unable to stop the words from tumbling out as your mind swirled. 
“Fuck Bucky I wish my future husband would fuck me this good, oh god-
You cried out as he growled, grabbing you and bringing your knees up, angling his hips till his thrusts made your belly bulge. He felt feral hearing your words, knowing you needed more of what he was giving you, what only he could give you. No one else would ever make you feel this good.
“Yeah? That what you want? Another man to fuck like me?” Bucky felt another surge of jealously course through his veins at the thought of another man having you the way he did. Another man touching you. Making love to you. Fucking you. Filling your tight cunt with their cum, breeding you till your belly was round and swollen. He snarled against your neck thinking about you carrying someone elses name. Someone else making you feel good, making you moan, putting their cock in you, it was supposed to be just him. Only him. 
Huh.
Why was he so possessive.
He tried to shake off the thought but the image seared into his brain. 
He couldn’t stand the image of you in your wedding dress, saying I do to a man that was someone else, your soft lips kissing theirs, sealing the both of you together forever, taking you away from him. 
Fuck that. 
Bucky fucked you like his life depended on it, the green monster of envy and jealous possessing his very soul, pouring all his feelings into the way he fucked you. He marked your neck, your shoulders, your breasts'. 
“Need-need this Bucky” You cried out, feeling pressure and tightness growing through your body, your orgasm desperate to spill over. He grunted, his balls growing heavy, his own climax at the tip of his cock. 
How could you think of letting someone else have you this way. 
To have you so vulnerable, hearing how beautiful you sounded when you were lost in pleasure. 
How could you think of wearing another mans right? Taking his last name?
How the fuck could you think of carrying another mans child, giving birth to his babies, having a family with someone that wasn’t him. 
How could you. 
Bucky’s mind felt muddled, he felt sick at the thought of you belonging to someone else, not when you had him. Not when he could give you what you wanted. He couldn’t push away the thought of how you’d look if you were carrying his babies. The way your tummy would be so round. How tired you’d look, a little super soldier baby growing inside you. 
The way you’d be pouty, your breasts leaking, your swollen belly perfect evidence that you belonged to him. No one would look at you twice, knowing who your baby daddy is. Who would dare look at the pretty thing the winter solider knocked up, thinking twice before they even looked your way. 
Fuck, you’d look so perfect, pregnant with his baby. He’d take such good care of you, massaging your sore feet, rubbing your belly, doting on you every second of the day. He’d spend hours worshipping your pussy with his mouth, knowing you wouldn’t even be able to see him over the swell of your tummy but your satisfied moans would be more than enough for him. He’d carry you everywhere, treat you like a queen, make love to you, drink your sweet milk when you felt heavy and sore, you be all of his-
“F-FUCK I’M CUMMING” Bucky bit hard onto your shoulder, moaning loudly as he started to cum, thoughts of your leaking nipples and firm belly making his whole body jolt, his cock sensitive, spurts of his seed endlessly pouring into you. “Y/n, look at me” He panted, still rutting his cock into you while your eyes rolled back into a silent scream, cumming around his throbbing length. 
“Look at me” He grasped your cheeks, making you look at him, sweat beading at his forehead, his skin flushed “I’m gonna get you pregnant” You gasped, moaning against his mouth as he continued to sloppily grind into you, his cock still some how hard. “You’re all mine, understand?”
You nodded, but it wasn’t enough, his grip on your cheeks tightened, desperate to hear your voice. 
“Say it” He pleaded with you, panting and grunting, overstimulated but too deep in wanting to fill you again to care. 
“I-I’m yours James!” You could feel pleasure creep up you again, working yourself up to a second high just off his words alone. 
“Keep saying it, keeping saying it, m’gonna cum again, don’t fuckin stop, keep telling me” He almost sounded like he was going to cry, his balls throbbing, still full and heavy.
“I’m yours, I’m yours, get-get me pregnant daddy” 
“FUCK YES”  That did it, his second orgasm spilling into you, his cock finally starting to soften. You panted, your mind reeling over the what had just happened, too fucked out to formulate words. He had taken you apart, cumming in you twice, his seed still deep inside you as he stayed inside you, slowly drifting off to sleep. As much as you wanted to ask him about what had just happened, you figured it was just the heat of the moment. You melted into his hold, letting sleep take over instead, what just happened wasn’t a big deal anyway....
*****
You blinked awake, heat engulfing you, Bucky’s arms wrapped around your body keeping you tightly and securely right against him. You squirmed, only to feel him hug you closer, whining, as if you’d disappear if he let go. You tried to gently wiggle free, not wanting to deal with the fact that you’d stayed the night, but your attempts to leave only woke him up. You blinked at his soft blue eyes gazing down at you, his strong arms still clinging onto you like no tomorrow. 
“Bu-
You were cut off by his lip smashing onto yours in a breathe stealing kiss, your eyes growing wide before melting and kissing him back. You both reluctantly broke away for oxygen, your face heating up as he tucked your hair behind your ear, still holding you close. 
“Stay”
“But-”
He rolled over, pinning you down onto the bed, his hard cock pressing against your thigh. “Stay, please” All Bucky could think about was your words from last night, the thought of anyone else other than him having you making him sick. He needed it again. Needed more. Wanting the same passion from the night before, his heart yearning and aching for it. “Y/, doll please” 
You shook your head, a sudden surge of anger fueling you when you remembered he wasn’t even yours and his heart was elsewhere. 
“James, let me go- 
“No” He stayed in place, bringing his hands to lace with yours, pinning you further, “Doll, I know I have no right but-but I need you”
“You had me last night, that’s all you need anyway” You scoffed, while he shook his head, regret clouding his eyes.
“No baby, it’s not enough. It was never enough. It’s always been you” 
“James, you were just trying to get back with your ex-
“It was a mistake. I learnt that the same day I met her. There wasn’t anything between us, truthfully there never was. I guess I remembered things differently from how they actually were. A stupid memory that never even existed. She never made me feel the same way you did. Not even close” 
You stayed silent, while Bucky continued to nervously ramble, his feelings coming out scrambled, fear making it difficult for him to focus. He couldn’t lose you. He adored you. Needed you. Couldn't stand the thought of someone else other than him being by your side. 
“It’s all you baby, always all you” He whispered, giving you his best puppy eyes, his heart hammering against his chest. You spread your legs slightly, letting his cock rest against your core, your nose bumping against his. 
“Show me you mean it” You whispered against his lips, gasping as he filled you, moving slowly so you could feel every bit of him. Him. The only person you truly every wanted. The person you imagined your future with. The person you wanted it all with. 
“M’gonna show you for the rest of my life doll” 
A few years later
You yawned, handing off your little one to Bucky, giving him a quick kiss before he was carried off to bed. Bucky rocked his son in his arms for a moment before setting him down in his bed, kissing him goodnight before switching the night light on. He made his way back to the bedroom, his heart swelling when his eyes settle on you, the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 
“How are my babies” Bucky smiled, laying in front of you and pulling your shirt up over your swollen belly, his two little angels fluttering inside. 
“Kicking and causing a ruckus, just like you a Steve” You huffed, giggling when he laid his head on your tummy, kissing the area where he felt the little ones moving. 
“Let mama sleep” He soothed, rubbing your skin,  smiling when he felt the babies settle down. “Be good for mommy, she’s sleepy, carrying you both around all day, keeping you warm and cozy” 
Bucky continued to coo and whisper to your belly, lulling you in and out of sleep, listening to his soothing voice. He had done the same thing when you first son Steve Grant Barnes Jr. was born, doting on you every second of the day. You had sworn you needed time to recuperate, exhausted from carrying his enhanced little one though both of you struggled to keep your hands to yourselves. 
“You just had to get me pregnant with twins, didn’t you” You playfully narrowed your eyes at him, gently stroking his hair while he continued to cuddle with your tummy. Bucky grinned, taking your hand and kissing your palm, the ring on your finger glinting softly under the glow of the table lamp. 
“Not my fault, you were the one who had your hands down my pants when we got back from that mission. I didn’t hear you complain when I made you cum three times in a row” He wiggled his eyebrows while your face heated up, biting your lip, remembering the way he had taken you apart in the jet, the safe house and then your home, the both of you insatiable as always, “Aren’t you lucky your husband fucks you like I did, Mrs. Barnes” 
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papil0nglegs · 2 months ago
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hiii ‼️‼️ I was wondering if you could do tf2 boys (any characters you want) with Mercy from overwatch reader 😭.
Heroes never die 🪽
Tf2 x Mercy!Reader
Scout/medic
A/n: SHES BAAAACK YUH YUHH BOOM SHACKALACKAAAAA YES GODDDD. Idk what else to say other than I hope y’all missed me!! Idk what my ‘schedule’ will be but just expect more posts in the future
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Medic
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Do I need to say anything? You don’t fw him at all. The differences are pretty clear, moral and sanity wise.
At first he was pretty interested to have another doctor on the team. But he quickly got jealous because the mercs took more of a liking to you than because of your gentleness.
“You’re with me doctor”
“Jou got it”
“Not you ya four-eyed twap! The angel”
“Oh, thank you ☺️”
Resurrecting heavy
“Doctor! We must try this resurrection thing!”
“You too???”
He hates you now, you’re not really fond of him either. Not only does he practice medicine with no license but his procedures are so inhumane compared to yours.
“Thank my medical professionalism, Ludwig.”
“Oo Klugscheißer, miss perfect!! Fuck you.”
He genuinely thinks you’re an Angel here to make his life more difficult cuz from what I heard he’s had his fair share of dealing with satan.
He’s interested in your work but will never EVER ask you about it because of his pettiness. Will try to recreate your resurrection skills however it looked less like a resurrection and more like dragging a zombie out of its grave.
When he showed it off to you you were terrified
“Now if we just grunt just help our little subject on his feet, he’ll be as good as new!”
“Celestial! Ludwig please put him out of his misery!!”
“Vhat? Nonsense, he’s fine!”
*he says as his his subjects body collapses
He got so thirsty for you when he saw you pistol whipping an enemy scout for him, it startled him so he thought it was hot
“Whew, careful out there Ludwig”
“…please, please take my heart. I vill have it taxidermied for you and everything!”
“What 🙁”
Now he’s become obsessed, pockets you every round and the team is not thrilled about that. It is fun to see you fly around landing headshots at the enemy team tho
Scout
This man had ZERO fucking idea you were even on the team until he began a mission with you. So when he was on the edge of dying and you flew over to lend a helping hand he frl thought god sent an angel to save him.
He didn’t even say anything he was just in shock like
‘😦..I’m the chosen one’
When he got back to the base everything felt so surreal to him, but then he immediately started bragging about it cuz it’s scout.
“Omgg do y’all have a guardian Angel? 🤭No? Fucking losers”
“Are you talking about y/n?”
“Who?”
“Hello”
“..oh”
He was so let down 😭 he had a genuine ‘I’m special’ moment there
You get so tired of him so fast. It’s always something with him, he’s like a little boy always getting injured and crying to his mom to pull out the first-aid kid
“Y/n, I lost a friggin’ tooth again”
“Seriously scout? This is the fifth one this week! Next time you’re going to medic for this.”
Free my boy, he didn’t do anything wrong 😞
Loves it when you resurrect him, makes him feel like a ‘newborn baby’
“Did it hurt?”
“Scout I’m busy I don’t have time for your pick up lines.”
‘:(‘
This bitch will do ANYTHING but stay still so you can heal him. It’s like he’s running away from you??
“🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥”
“SCOUT PLEASE GET DOWN HERE!!”
“THEYRE SHOOTING 🏥”
“YOU THINK THIS IS NEWS TO ME?”
Will try hopping on you when you’re flying, it didn’t go well.
“Are you gonna heal my legs now?”
“No! That’s on you for being stupid”
“When are you gonna give me a pair of those wings doc? I was born to fly 👽”
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fairy-writes · 9 months ago
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first, congratulations on 1300!! with the event can i have a medium cappuccino with chuuya from bsd? thank you in advance and congratulations again!!
HAZE OF SICKNESS
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Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!
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Prompt: Hurt/comfort scenario with Chuuya from BSD
Word Count: 0.7k
Fandom(s): Bungou Stray Dogs
Pairing(s): Nakahara Chuuya x Reader
Genre(s)/Tag(s): Gender Neutral!Reader, Sick!Reader, Business AU?? Idk; it’s not the normal BSD universe.
Notes: Idk if this really counts as hurt/comfort? But it’s the idea I'm going with, so it’s what you get, lol.
This also briefly features a character from Stormbringer! But you don’t need to know anything other than he’s a doctor :)
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The world was in a haze. 
You ache. You’re exhausted. Your stomach hurts. Your head hurts. Your mouth feels fuzzy with the lack of brushing your teeth after throwing up.
But you don’t say a word. You don’t call in. Instead, you get up, put on a mask, brush your teeth, and head to work as the infamous Nakahara Chuuya’s secretary. 
Luckily, he doesn’t comment on your mask when you arrive at your desk.
He sweeps into his office as he always does, his coat billowing around his ankles. He sheds it and his hat on the coat rack. He brushes past you without so much as a hello, and his office door shuts with a bang that has your brain vibrating in your head. 
Guess he wasn’t in the mood to talk today?
Work goes slowly. Almost agonizingly so. 
You remind yourself to alternate taking Ibuprofen and Tylenol every four hours and keep your mask on except for drinking water. But it does little good. You still feel feverish and achy, and your stomach is constantly churning despite having walked down to the corner store and bought yourself a can of soup to eat for your lunch break. 
Things come to a head when you knock on Chuuya’s office door with some reports from last week. 
“Come in.” His voice is muffled, but you hear it even through the door and what feels like cotton in your ears. The hinges squeal and grate on your nerves and eardrums. 
“I have those reports you wanted, sir.” You say through your mask, and he looks up from his laptop, sticking a hand out for them as he runs a hand through his hair. 
He looks annoyed. 
You give him the reports and go to leave when he stops you by saying your name. You turn.
“Are you alright?” He asks, and you blink. When did he ever ask if you were alright? You were positive he barely even knew your name.
“I’m fine, sir. Just a little cold, is all.” You say, and his frown deepens, but he doesn’t get up from his desk. 
“If you say so.” He mutters, and you take that as your cue to leave. 
But you promptly pass out the moment you turn around. 
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When you come to, you have no idea how much time has passed. But you hear something… Just on the edge of your hearing… 
“—n you hear me?” A voice… A familiar voice… Your boss, maybe? 
When you open your eyes, you find you were correct. He’s leaning over you with a concerned look on his face, and you realize you’re on the couch in his office. 
“What happened?” You groan, and he sits back, clearly relieved. 
“I thought you died there for a minute,” He grumbled, and you felt white-hot embarrassment shoot up your spine and warm your ears. When you go to sit up, he is on his feet helping you.
“I passed out?” You ask, and he nods, 
“You went down pretty quickly and smacked your head, so I called Doc. He should be here soon.” At that, you swing your legs over the side of the couch. 
“I’m fine. Just a bit dizzy, is all. I have to get back to work.” 
His hand clamps around your wrist, and you freeze. He wears his standard leather gloves, but his hand is still warm through the material. 
“You aren’t goin’ anywhere. And it’s either Doc or the hospital.” He warns, and you glare stubbornly at the floor before relenting and sitting back down on the couch. Chuuya is sitting on the coffee table directly in front of you, hands clasped and resting on his knees. 
Doc, as eccentric as ever, gives you a clean bill of health and a cold compress for the bump on your head. He also says something to your boss that you don’t quite catch, but he nods and dismisses the man. 
“You’re taking the rest of today and tomorrow off.” He says abruptly, and you nearly trip where you are walking back to your desk. 
“What? No! I can’t afford to do that!” You retort, and he rolls his eyes,
“You’ll still be paid.” You pause in your argument and frown. 
“I will?” Chuuya huffs and puts a hand on the small of your back, steering you toward the elevator of the high-rise office building. 
“Of course you will. Just…” He pauses, and you look at him. His cheeks are flushed pink, and he refuses to look at you.
“Yes?” You prompt, and he sighs, still averting his gaze. 
“Come back feeling better.” He says, and you grin at him as the elevator door closes on you.
“Yessir!”
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periprose · 1 year ago
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Ps5 Peter Parker x reader inspired by this?
It's one of my favorite MerDer moments on Grey's anatomy 🙈😭
Peter explains something about physics or an idea for a gagdet...
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🤣 this image really cracked me up lol thanks for the ask!! I've set the fic to take place in the first game, Peter and Reader are Otto's assistants at Octavius Industries. Please ignore the science mumbo jumbo in this fic.
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/
Otto's lab was really cold this time of year. He barely had the funds to make rent in Manhattan, let alone provide optimal heating and other luxuries.
Still, you shiver, searching through your locker for your comfy, oversized jumper. You're just pulling it on when Peter pops up from behind you.
"Hey."
"Jesus!" You flinch and then rub your eyes. "Hey, Peter. How do you get behind me so fast? That's the third time this month I didn't even see you come in."
"Uh... I just have good reflexes, I think." Peter's mouth twists a little, as he tries not to laugh at your jumper. "Are you sure that's up to lab standards? Where's your lab coat?"
"Ah, Otto doesn't mind. He knows I'm cold." You explain, and Peter sighs.
"Well, he never gives me special treatment."
"Probably because you're not as cute as I am." You joke, but Peter nods and you feel a callous level of attraction towards him for being so nonchalant in terms of flirting.
You never really know where you stand with the guy. He's a naturally witty person and you refuse to read into anything any deeper, just for self preservation.
"Hey, I can't disagree with that." Peter laughs that quiet, soft laugh that makes you smile on your own. "Here, I got you a cup of coffee. That should help warm you up."
You look down and see, sure enough, Peter's holding a coffee cup tray, loaded with three cups, surely your usual orders- for you, extra black espresso to stay awake, for Peter, usually some kind of healthy tea hybrid, and for Otto, a large, creamy Italian coffee blend that's particularly expensive (Peter always jokes that Otto wastes funding on things like this).
"Oh, I'll pay you back." You reach back into your locker for your wallet, but Peter stops you with a raise of his hand.
"It's free of charge. No worries." He hands you the cup gently, and your hand skirts across his. You think for a moment.
"Nothing is ever really 'free of charge', Peter." You give him a side glance. In the last couple of months you've known this guy, you've figured out when he has an ulterior motive.
"... Alright, alright. You got me." Peter starts pulling you along by the hand, towards one of Otto's offices filled with white-boards and desks and equipment. You take a sip of your coffee and notice that it's still quite hot- Peter must've been really fast to make it so.
Not that you're complaining, and now that you're warmer you do feel more inclined to listen to him.
"Okay. You know how Otto's neural interface for the experimental arms have been glitching out?" Peter's got a firm look on his face, as you sit and listen.
"Yeah. It's a poor prototype, I think he asked us to leave it alone? He said he'd deal with it." You shrug. "I've moved on to his requests for a tighter, stronger arm. You know I deal with hardware."
"Yes, but even so, the neural interface problem still persists. Otto's lying." Peter looks at the whiteboard, and sees that half of it is covered all over with erratically drawn diagrams and equations. It's fine, he knows he can write what he needs in that space.
"Okay, look." Peter begins drawing a diagram of the neural interface's circuitry. "See how the voltage is really high?"
"Yeah- but isn't that what Doc wanted?" You grimace. "Last time I brought up the voltage issue, he told me to mind my business and continue with soldering. He wants so much power for some reason."
"Right, that's what I'm talking about. Notice how Otto keeps having those outbursts?" Peter sighs, a deeply upsetting look overtaking him. "He's getting a bit aggressive as of late, and I think it's because he can't figure this out."
"You're telling me. Just yesterday he chewed me out for clocking in a bit late." You sniff. "Okay, I was fifteen minutes late, but still."
"I've been there, you don't even have to justify it." Peter laughs, and begins drawing squiggly lines. You can't help but notice how his strangely muscular arms are tense and visible through his lab coat as he scrawls, and you take a sip of your coffee, savoring the view. Looking isn't illegal, you try to rationalize, but you quickly banish these thoughts as Peter looks back with a sly glance, to make sure you're paying attention.
"This is the electricity flow... and it should be heading this way, but the neural interface is made incorrectly and the flow of energy is heading back this way... towards the-"
"The battery of the arms, not the interface." You suddenly realize, and take a scrap piece of paper off the desk, scribbling down notes. "Hmm... maybe the wiring used for the arms is absorbing too much energy? Or the batteries are too big?"
"Maybe, but neural interfaces are tricky business." Peter winces as Otto yells at something in the background of the lab. "I told Otto not to get too involved with it- it's far too easy to accidentally mess with your brain, and then suddenly you've got anger issues or worse-"
"Dementia." You finish his sentence with an equally grim expression. "Okay. I hear you, but how are we supposed to fix it, exactly? I can only think of using different, smaller wires, or a less cost heavy battery- but then it won't move at the speed Otto wants it to."
"Yeah." Peter's shoulders slump a little, and you feel bad. He's always just one dude trying to take on the entire world's problems.
"Peter, it's not your problem, really. You can only do so much- the man has made up his mind, he's going to have to take the brunt of the problem." You try to console him, but Peter has that determined Parker Pride you've seen far too often, and you know he's not going to let it go.
"Wait, wait. Okay..." Peter starts frantically drawing on the board, and seeing that he's running out of space, without missing a beat, begins to draw on the wall.
"Peter! You're drawing on the wall!" You admonish him, and to your shock and utter horror, but not to your surprise, he keeps going. "Now you've completely lost it- it'll take two seconds to erase the board-"
But Peter isn't listening, in that overly stubborn, inventor way that you know you've done before. He's too lost in his own thoughts, and you know that spark will disappear if he takes a moment to stop drawing.
"I'll clean it. It's fine. We got to get a move on." Peter points to the new diagram on the wall. "Look at this."
Peter's drawn a rudimentary depiction of the robotic arm prototypes you've built for Otto, but the battery pack has been split up into several, smaller batteries that extend over the course of the arms. Something about the way the arms move in Peter's drawings look a lot more... smooth, silky, like a cephalopod.
An octopus.
But you are amazed at Peter's capabilities, either way. "Using multiple different batteries, so the energy isn't drawn away from the neural interface in a great capacity?" You blink, a bit amused at Peter's eager expression. "It would work, I think, but only if Otto is willing for a slight decrease in power."
"Ah, but that's where you're wrong. We don't need to sacrifice power at all." Peter draws a set of gears, interlocking through the squiddy looking arm, and you clap your hands, clambering up out of your seat, finally enthused by his idea.
"Peter Parker, you genius!" You shake his arm excitedly, and he turns a bit pinker as he watches you, grinning. "Otto wanted the arm to be almost entirely synthetic material- but if it has rotating gears, the less it will jerk around. It'll be faster, smoother-"
"Thus requiring less power anyways, and less power will be redirected into his neural interface. And, hypothetically, no more angry Otto." Peter grins, and you smile up at him. "I mean, it'll still take some tinkering to figure out, but incremental improvements are still improvements, right?"
"Definitely. Plus we can always try to convince him about solar power again." You joke as Peter snickers.
Peter opens his mouth, about to say something to you, but he stares for a moment too long and hesitates, especially because in the nerdy excitement, he had gotten so close to you, and he was a liar if he said he had never checked out his cute co-worker. Any second now, you should be teasing as you usually do- but your eyes are wide and Peter gets the sense you've been swept up in this too.
He's never been so... close. He can make out individual eyelashes, tiny scars, imperceptible to normal people, but not to him.
And his phone buzzes with some kind of alert. He looks it over with bright, concerned eyes, while you take a moment to step back, much to Peter's mild irritation.
"Ah... must be MJ?" You ask, trying so very hard not to sound like a jealous girlfriend, just a curious colleague. You have nothing against MJ- you just feel that she and Peter are so meant for each other, and this is exactly why you've been trying to protect yourself.
Who are you kidding? You and Peter are both so busy- you'd never have time to be his doting, adoring girlfriend. You just have to remember him as a friend.
Already you feel the walls coming into place, your expression turning neutral, your heart becoming steely, when Peter looks at you again, surprised.
He can tell you're holding yourself back- and he doesn't like that. He wants you to come back to him, to be close with him again, and it drives him nuts that it has to be your choice, but he respects that.
"Not MJ. We broke up a while ago." Peter swallows, hoping he's saying the right things. "Uh... I don't think we're going to get back together. She's dating someone else now."
"Oh." You squeeze Peter's shoulder as comfortingly as you can. "Peter, I'm sorry. I would've been less of an ass if I'd known."
"No, don't be." Peter fixes a firm, kindhearted glance at you, taking your hands, the warmth of his own making you feel especially treasured. "You're great."
There's a teeny bit of hope working it's way into you, into your silly, girly heart despite all the steel around it, and Peter has a soft smile reserved just for you- you know that smile, you've seen it before when he comforts you when an experiment goes poorly, or when you've had a Eureka moment.
He rubs your hands. "Jeez, you're cold! I know women are usually freezing in the workplace- different body temperatures on average and all that- but I'm going to have to talk to Otto about making it warmer in here."
"Lest I die of hypothermia, right." You snort, and Peter snickers, but he still stays close, as if he's using this as an excuse. "Well, at least I have your hands."
Peter's phone buzzes again, another alert, which he apologetically takes a moment to read after letting go of you. Something about Fisk's thugs making their way through Grand Central Station- he shouldn't leave right now, but he can see your curiosity is piqued.
"Just a news alert. Nothing big." Peter lies, and you don't quite buy it, but you don't want to pry at this moment after he's complimented you and been so nice to warm up your hands.
Otto bursts through the entrance of the room, sighing.
"Will you two lovebirds stop canoodling with each other and test out the circuitry? You know, like I'm paying you to do so with very limited funds?" He barks, and then inhales. "Sorry. Just... try to stay on task. And I know you're young and all... but stop drawing on the walls!"
He leaves, grumbling about youth being too romantic and wishing they would understand sensibility.
You're about to refute whatever Otto said, so Peter doesn't feel uncomfortable, when he speaks first.
"I take it he isn't a romantic." Peter jokes as he grabs some paper towels, and you laugh, feeling that Peter's flirting was more genuine than you thought.
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sometimesraven · 6 months ago
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re: the ableism in Dot and Bubble
I understand it almost certainly wasn't Rusty's intention for the "can't walk without the arrows" thing to be ableist, but the implications are there and it was so, so hard to watch.
As I said while liveblogging, I've noted that reliance on tech like Google Maps has caused a regression in skills like navigation and a frustrating refusal to even try. I'm frequently faced with that fact as I live somewhere you have to use your eyes to see and most fast food delivery drivers just Cannot Find Us bc the GPS goes wild and they can't follow the directions I always give them so I inevitably have to go out to find them myself. Believe me, I know what he was going for with that part of the script.
However.
When you exaggerate that point to the tune of "she literally cannot walk" without the aid, and then instead of it being deeply disturbing to the two 'kind, helpful' characters (Doc n Ruby), they actively roll their eyes at her and it's played as an "omg how stupid is she" moment, you have to see how that looks.
Let's reframe it: someone you've met was raised in a cult. A very insular, very strict cult that they literally have never seen outside of. At this point in time you know nothing about them but you do know they're in a very insular, very closed-off society. One day they tell you they have no idea how to,,,,,, idk, wash themselves without assistance. If your first instinct is to laugh at them and roll your eyes like they're overexaggerating, you're an ableist.
I struggle to believe anyone like the Doctor wouldn't perhaps initially react with confusion/incredulity but then, after realising this person is 100% serious, go "oh my god that's horrible okay uh let me try to walk you through this and teach you how".
It's a horrible, cynical response that would maybe track if at this point the characters already knew she was an entitled pissbaby. But they don't and that's why it comes across so terribly.
Especially when there's no indication that this is a side-effect of her entitlement and she's literally insulting herself "I'm so stupid!" and genuinely upset and frustrated that she can't even walk in the face of actual death. And yes, she miraculously can walk again once she meets Ricky but it wasn't because she was ignoring the Doctor's advice because racism because he had not given her any. She had literally zero clue how to walk without assistance until Ricky guided her.
This isn't a refusal to learn a skill based on entitlement, this isn't a heavy-handed metaphor, you have given this girl a disability (even if it is psychosomatic, it is still a disability). And in a time where social media + youth entitlement is being blamed for an increase of ADHD, Autism, chronic illness and DID diagnosis-seekers (among other things, but those are the ones people are most aggressive against) that just does not look good At All.
Russel could easily have made it so that they just had no idea how to navigate without the bubble and refused to learn.
Maybe at first show it as genuine frustration on Lindy's part that she can't find anything without guidance but slowly show that no, she's perfectly capable, she just doesn't care to learn.
Hell, you could have everything play out the same way but have her genuinely get offered help to begin with by the Doctor and ignore it, only for Ricky to say the same thing to her later and she gets it immediately.
Idk, anything beyond literally disabling her. The show does a great job at humanising her before showing us that she was a monster all along, but I feel like Rusty himself forgot that he was still representing a Whole Entire Person (something that people on all ends of the political spectrum do All The Time: "person is bad therefore [___ism] is okay in this instance". Ableism especially)
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clockwayswrites · 5 months ago
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I saw that you had some very in depth organization methods when planning your fics. I am working on one now and realized how much I need something like that. Could you give an explanation and tips on how you organize your ideas?
Oh, sure! I can try my best.
For me, the desire to actually write it usually comes with a scene (or few scenes) I need to bring into existence. I don't care if it's the first scene or last or in the middle, I let myself write it! I know some people don't like writing out of order because they feel it's a 'waste' if they have to change it when they get there, but for me it's never a waste because it helped me find a mood!
I put those scenes down and then try to build a fic around them. If it's a short fic (>15K) I just start working. Medium to long I outline! I like to write the scenes I have and want out on cut up post it notes and this allows me to physically move things around, find the plot gaps, and write down the scene that I wan to go there!
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(image id: post it notes cut into thirds with a scene summary written on each one. Some are grouped together as chapters and there are holes where I feel there needs to be more).
3. I take each of those scenes and make a placeholder file in my writing program! I use Scrivener so this is really easy to do because they have an outline function. Before I used scrivener, I would write them out in a doc and then also copy and past it around the parts I had written.
In Scrivener, I can also color code them and/or use the status to say if it's started, written, edited, etc! You could do this in another program by highlighting the outline different colors.
4. As you are writing, remember your outline might change! You might have scenes that no longer work (Ex lbfd I had a whole Tim & Danny bonding bit where Danny revealed he knew about the Bats I cut cause it seemed clunky) or you might need to add bits for a better flow! (Ex one chapter of lbfd split into three, but then other things got cut). And this is okay! Some things you can't know until it's written.
The more you do this the better you'll get! My first big fic (150+K) doubled in chapters and tripled in length! I needed a lot more time on the slow parts than I thought and added some things based on reader comments. For lbfd, even though things changed, chapter 22(?) was still chapter 22 when I got to it!
Hopefully this helps!
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shoutoutout · 1 month ago
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I've started up another Harlivy fic and was digging through my docs and found this old version of the noses & kneecaps section of she breaks (out, down, through). I cut it way down and changed up the setting for the published version but this Harley quote had me giggling so I thought I'd post here for folks!
Harley turns to the chef.  “If you fucking spit in this food I will literally gut you right now, you hear me?  I’m not letting my bestie eat any of your loogies so tell me if you did because she’ll fucking know, alright?  This bitch will taste them and then you’ll be dead and the misses and junior over there are gonna have a sad as shit Christmas this year.”
You can read the rest under the cut
Surprising no one, Ivy’s not that great at the whole “friendship” thing.
For starters, she has no frame of reference by which to judge.  Like her namesake, she was a wallflower as a child and when high school rolled around she bloomed into a sarcastic loner with Indigo Girls blasting through her headphones.  It left little room for normal girl shit like… well… she would name something if she knew.
But even still, with all her lack of experience, she’s pretty sure that this—Harley’s idea of friendship—is not quite normal.
“I could use some new threads.” Harley calls Ivy out of the blue on a Wednesday evening.  “Cops confiscated all the stuff back at my old place… not like I’d wear any of it anymore.  God, I was such a tightass wasn’t I, Ives?  So how about it?  A girl’s day out?”
Ivy doesn’t know what to say, knuckles pale green where they grip the phone.  She regrets giving Harley her number.  (And by “giving” she means Harley snatching the phone from her pocket and calling herself before Ivy had the chance to stop her.)  The thought of strolling through a department store with Harley causes her anxiety to ratchet the way it did when the pretty girls would laugh at her in English class.  What would they even talk about for fuck’s sake?
Not much to start, it turns out.  Harley’s version of shopping is a lot less mundane and a lot more criminal.  They end up taking twelve hostages in Bergsduff’s and leaving with two hundred thousand in designer goods.  Muzak plays idly in the background as Harley holds the salesclerk at gunpoint, parading him around the floor while Ivy snatches up some cute summer looks.  His nose drips blood from where she pistol-whipped him upon entrance.
“Hey, try those on,” Harley suggests, waving the gun wildly towards a pair of gold-rimmed sunglasses.  The hostages in her line of fire duck and scramble when it points in their direction.  “Those’ll look real hot on you!  Perfect for your face shape.”
Even the sales clerks—with the barrel of Harley’s gun poking between his shoulder blades—can’t help but agree.
Ivy slips them into her pocket.
They go to dinner.
“And it better be fucking vegan, alright?!” Harley screeches through the kitchen door.  When she turns back to Ivy, she’s all grins and bubbles.  “He said it should be right out!” she relays, skipping back towards the table.
Ivy glances towards the chef’s wife and son where they lay bound and gagged, piled in the living room corner.  Harley had arranged a “private meal” by Gotham’s hottest new chef after Ivy had told her the reservations for his restaurant were usually booked a month in advance.
“Are you sure we don’t have to worry about them?” Ivy asks with a skeptical slant towards their hostages?
“Nah,” Harley dismisses.  “They’re chill.”
Their captive hosts nod in agreement, wide-eyed and terrified.
They talk about boys.
“So like I was saying,” Harley picks up where she left off, twirling a fork between two fingers.  “Joker has some real ripe areas for improvement with the overall rollout of his new brand vision before the Legion of Doom induction, ya know?  Just some things I’m helpin’ him out with… order of operations and stuff like that.”
Ivy’s thankful Harley’s doing all the talking.  She fills the space with an endless stream of stray observations and chatter.
She gets a dreamy look in her eye, resting her head against her palm.  “I mean, he’s a real genius, ya know?  It’s pure art what he does.”  (Ivy wants to vomit but the food is coming soon.)  “And don’t ever tell him I said otherwise”—she sits up, clasping her hands together—“but in general, there’s a lack of foresight to some of his schemes.  Like escape plans, for example.  Usually he has it all figured out when Batsy arrives—how to get away that is—but not for the whole crew, ya know?”
Ivy narrows, not quite getting at what she’s saying.
Harley shimmies closer in her chair, propping her elbows on the table.  “Okay, okay, so like, there’ll be a getaway car, right?  But it’s one of those clown cars, like a tiny one.  Only this clown car isn’t like a clown car where it can fit all the rest of us; it’ll just fit him.”  She pauses to let Ivy consider.  “Is that… is that funny?  Like ha-ha Joker-level theatrics?”
Ivy’s dumbfounded.  “A clown car that’s just a regular tiny car…that only Joker can escape in… and he leaves you all behind to get caught,” she summarizes, doubt dripping from her tongue.  “So you’re telling me he just like, takes off in a Smart car?”
“Yes!” Harley nods, excitedly.  Her jester’s cap bounces with the motion.  “Exactly!  Just a Smart car for one.  It could use some work, right?”
Ivy doesn’t even know where to begin.  Luckily the chef returns, placing two gorgeous plates of food before them.  Harley squeals beside her and Ivy snaps to attention, grabbing her fork.  It smells fucking heavenly as it comes to her mouth but then Harley’s hand is strong around her wrist, stopping her mid-bite.
Harley turns to the chef.  “If you fucking spit in this food I will literally gut you right now, you hear me?  I’m not letting my bestie eat any of your loogies so tell me if you did because she’ll fucking know, alright?  This bitch will taste them and then you’ll be dead and the misses and junior over there are gonna have a sad as shit Christmas this year.”
He shakes his head and whimpers; Harley seems satisfied.  They dig in.
“Oh my god,” Ivy says, flavor dancing across her taste buds.  “This is like… orgasmic.”
Harley preens.  “Only the best for my friend!”
Friend.  It rolls so easily off of Harley’s tongue and Ivy wonders what it is exactly that makes this shit so hard for her.  Ivy tries to play along but she’s transported back to English class with Melinda Jenkins snickering every time Ivy raised her hand.  “Ha,” she tries.  “I owe ya one… pal.”
God, she’s a fucking dork but Harley couldn’t care less.  She pounces.  “Come to me and J’s Legion of Doom induction then?!” she asks like the question was burning a hole through her tongue.  “It’s this weekend.  We can drink all of Lex’s fancy-ass champagne.  Please?  Please?  Please, Ivy?”
Harley puppy-dog pouts and Ivy’s stomach flips.  Is this normal friend shit?  She has no idea.
“I’m sorry but fuck no.  No way.  Literally anything but that.”  Harley will just have to deal; Ivy is decidedly not a good friend.
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wazzappp · 2 months ago
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@rokhal okay so you see heres the problem. You asked too many good questions so I opened a google doc to answer them and then things just got going and then I ended up with an entire summary of the story I have so far.
ALSO thank you @moosemonstrous for helping me puzzle through my fugnking ramblings
Also it is IMPORTANT that you know I had this song on repeat the entire time I was plotting my nefarious schemes
OKAY SO. I’m thinking Robbie is some sort of specialized stealth unit. He was originally designed for high level infiltration but was repurposed by the human resistance in the future. He has skin with a metal endoskeleton just like the usual terminators but he ALSO has those nanobots that allow him to heal at the same pace as a normal human. They also would help with repairing any damage to internal systems like wiring. They could also be what repurposes food to grow his metal endoskeleton. I’m debating on whether he can manually speed that up for an accelerated healing process because that would require a level of control over his machinery that I’m not sure it would make sense for him to have right after figuring out he’s a machine. Maybe with some practice he could do it. OHHHHH OR IF HES IN SOME SORT OF ‘EMERGENCY DEFENSE’ MODE IT ACCELERATES AUTOMATICALLY THAT COULD BE FUN!!! 
Also I really like the idea of him being able to heal with those nanobots but like. SPECIFICALLY for Gabe. They’re programmed to create synthetic flesh and skin but only for certain genomes. His and Gabes are similar enough that they can help repair tissue if he’s injured. Like being a blood donor for matching blood types.
STORY WISE HERE’S WHAT IM THINKING: Eli still exists in this universe and he’s still a massive shithead. Still pushes Mama Reyes down a flight of stairs while pregnant with Gabe (their soon to be first child), still a serial killer and still involved with the mob. But shortly after Gabe is born, Eli is caught and sentenced to prison for life. The mob figures he told his brother’s family so that makes them a liability. They kill Alberto and Julianna, but leave Gabe alone in his crib. This happens when he’s about 6 months old.
While this is happening, Robbie is time traveled into the back yard of their house. He goes inside and puts on whatever clothes he can find. When police show up to check after getting a noise complaint from the neighbors, they find what looks to be a 5 year old boy soothing a crying baby and a massive burned hole in the backyard they think is just some sort of already detonated explosive. Everyone just assumes this kid is his brother and they try to get him out of the house without letting him see his dead ‘parents’. He doesn't talk much but does answer that his name is Robbie when asked. 
Things get REALLY weird when they go to the police station and find… absolutely nothing about him. No birth certificate, no social security number, no history of schooling, not even their notoriously nosy neighbors know anything about him. The Reyes’s had not marked down a dependent on their tax forms until Gabe.  Even when they look at the possibility of him being an undocumented immigrant; NOTHING. Half the guys think he’s an illegal alien that slipped through the cracks of.. EVERY country and the other half think he’s an ACTUAL alien For all intents and purposes the kid in front of them does not exist. Eli isn’t much help when asked, he just assumes ‘that bitch of his turned him against me didn’t even tell me that I had a nephew already here god DAMN her’. 
They quickly start questioning whether they're actually brothers, but genetic tests determine that they are. That, and the absolute INSISTENCE of the boy that ‘This is my brother. I HAVE to keep him safe’.
So they do what just about anyone might do. Decide this weird magically appearing child is someone else’s problem, and put them into foster care. From there the story stays about the same for a while. They know Eli exists but they honestly couldn't give less of a shit about him. That guy is never getting out on parole lmao. Robbie catches up with social development and for the most part fits in pretty good (he never gets sick. Like ever. Never gets so injured he has to go to the doctor for emergencies. Just regular checkups, which he passes through with a few raised eyebrows but still good). He’s still a GENIUS with cars and works at Canelos. He understands them in a way that usually takes years of experience way beyond what Robbie has. Things are going.. Not GREAT but they’re okay. And then AMADEUS FUCKIGN SHOWS UP.
Skynet of the future has sent back a Terminator to kill Gabe. No one is really sure WHY but they figure if skynet is going to such lengths to kill this kid then he must be worth protecting. So the human resistance sends back Amadeus to find Gabe and keep him safe from this Terminator. 
He steals some clothes, a gun and a car(not like hes really planning on settling down here anyway who cares about a few broken laws)  shows up at the Reyes residence, meets Gabe.. and basically all his plans blow up. This is absolutely NOT the type of person he was expecting and he sure as shit doesn't want to go anywhere with this random stranger. So naturally he kidnaps Gabe and starts getting the fuck out of the city (while also starting work on an electromagnetic field reader that he thinks can help detect terminators).
Robbie shows up back home after grocery shopping and uhhhhh Gabes NOT THERE theres BROKEN SHIT IN HIS HOUSE and the neighbors keep talking about a STOLEN CAR and some maniac who stole from a GUN SHOP. So he does the only reasonable thing he can think of, checks Life 360 hoping that Gabe still has his phone on him (he does) gets into his car and starts hunting them down. Between his crazy driving skills and freakish persistence, Amadeus can only conclude that Robbie is the terminator sent to kill Gabe.
When Robbie finally heads them off at an abandoned warehouse Amadeus tries to pull Gabe along with him and run away. But when Robbie steps out of his car, Gabe recognizes him and starts trying to get there. Amadeus is panicked, pointing his gun at Robbie to try and keep him away and, at this point, VERY confused. Because he’s pulled out his EMF reader and is getting some absolutely WACK readings off Robbie but hes also very much so being deterred by the gun (terminators couldnt gibe two shits about guns thlse metal fuckheads eat bullets for breakfast). The readings shortly get even more wack when the ACTUAL Terminator sent to kill Gabe shows up. Amadeus fires a couple of shots into the Terminator to confirm what he already knew (subsequently freaking both Robbie and Gabe out sufficiently enough to confirm that at least Amadeus isn’t entirely crazy). They pile into the Reyes-mobile and peel off shortly before the terminator gets into Amadeus’ abandoned stolen car and starts going after them.
Robbie is doing his best to ask what the FUCK is actually going on while getting away but Amadeus is still double checking his EMF readings because Robbie is DEFINETLY not human but also clearly isn’t here to kill Gabe. Quickly puts two and two together that for SOME reason SOMEhow Robbie is here to PROTECT Gabe from this other Terminator. Amadeus is. A little distracted because of this and keeps asking Robbie about his ‘Programming’ (sort of a “WOW your programming must be good you REALLY think he’s your brother and thats WHY you have to protect him!” “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHO WAS THAT GUY HOW DID HE KEEP WALKING AFTER YOU SHOT HIM” “It was a terminator keep up. Hey did you even TRY to call the police or did you just start coming after me because you knew it would be faster? Cause damnnnnn again. PROGRAMMING!”)
After finally losing the terminator that’s been on their tail, they find the police are not too happy about their reckless driving, arrest them and take them to the station to keep in a holding cell. While Robbie is in said holding cell with Amadeus (Gabe is presently being asked questions) there’s a police officer who recognizes him as that weird little kid who just appeared out of nowhere.
“Yeah we had absolutely NOTHING on you. It was like you hadn't existed until the day we found you!” So Robbie has to sit and listen to this while Amadeus is just confirming in his head what he already figured out. Being stuck in that cell trying to stay in denial with the guy whose favorite thing to say in the world is ‘I Told You So’ is not great. (un)Fortunately this is when the actual terminator shows up again.
This time, being faced with both the Terminator AND police trying to stop him from leaving, Robbies defense systems activate. He goes absolutely HAM on everyone in his way. He’s extremely default Terminator-like (Emotionless, distant, empty, quiet) in this state because all of his infiltration protocols have been halted. He even manages to fight off the other terminator decently well, but not before getting blasted in the arm with a shotgun shell. It goes deep enough that his metal endoskeleton is revealed. I also had this idea of like. His arm getting caught in something and he just stares at whoever trapped it there. Looks them dead in the eyes as he degloves his entire hand then beats the shit out of whoever got in his way with his metal fist. He stays in this state until they steal ANOTHER car, and he finally snaps out of it. And sees his hands covered in blood. And glimmers of his metal skeleton. And his brother looking at him in fear.
AND THATS WHAT IVE GOT RN I CAN'T WRITE LIKE YALL CAN I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR IT I HAVE TO GET ALL OF THIS OUT LIKE RIGHT NOW SO YEAH UHHHHHHH ENJOY
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codenamesazanka · 6 months ago
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OKAY. Got it. Shigaraki dies, and goes back in time. To the day OFA was transferred to Deku…
rough idea/summary [part 1]
Shigaraki wakes up in a bed in the Doc’s lab, head pounding, crazy vertigo, feeling awful. Apparently he had suddenly collapsed. Kurogiri brought him to the Doctor, who didn’t seem to find anything wrong with him. AFO is there to check on his ward. 
As the Doctor runs some more tests, Shigaraki tries to regain his bearings. Try to make sense of himself, his surroundings, all the stuff swirling around in his mind. Shigaraki tells AFO that he had a dream, where he died. There was a war, a big one, between Heroes and Villains. He destroyed a lot of things. He fought until the very end to destroy. 
AFO listens, smiles, saying that it sounds like a good dream. Is that what you want, Tomura? To destroy everything? 
Shigaraki considers, and says, Maybe. He considers some more: everything that happened in his 'dream' - all his suddenly now-recovered memories, his new knowledge and experiences. A whole life he just had, and a death.
He's read about this before... mostly in badly-written online light novels. Someone going back in time and getting a second chance. Re-doing their life, with various cheats, to right everything. Taking a different path, taking missed opportunities, taking revenge; all to become a hero, fulfilling their dreams. Absurd power fantasy stuff.
So what’s his stupid power fantasy? What does he want? Shigaraki thinks, and out of everything that just happened/will apparently happen... there's only the League that comes to mind. 
In those light novels, the main character always has to tread lightly, has to keep everything a secret and pretend nothing is wrong and keep walking along the old familiar path until he has harassed the power to change things... But Shigaraki considers killing AFO (again) right here and now. So he confronts AFO the way he never got a chance to do.
Sensei. In my dream...You told me that you gave me my quirk. And not just that. You told me that everything that happened was because of you.
AFO is caught, smile frozen... but then relaxes to a real smile again; laughs. It's a surprise, to be sure, but it's wonderful. AFO has always looked for a time travel quirk. To think that one does actually exist...
Plus, it looks like AFO really had raised Tomura successfully. AFO thought such a revelation would shatter him, but Tomura braved through it. He's still here. A strong, ironclad willpower - exactly what AFO wanted, after all.
So let's get started.
Shigaraki tries to attack/defend, but AFO is faster, stronger, and has that Rivet Stab quirk, literally pinning Shigaraki down.
Foolish child, biting the hand that fed you. AFO monologues - without him, Tomura wouldn't even exist. AFO made him; he belongs to AFO, always had, always will. All that Tomura is, AFO gave to him. And now Tomura will give it all back. 
With that, AFO tries to take Decay—but for some reason, he can't. 
Because Shigaraki was the one who was able to steal Danger Sense from OFA; the one who was able to reject being given OFA, even. And now, if he doesn't want to let Decay go, then AFO can't take it. Shigaraki is the one with the stronger willpower, and he is so much more than AFO has made him. He's so much more than AFO can ever be.
Taking advantage of AFO being momentarily stunned, Shigaraki is able to free himself. He has to break and slice apart his hand, but still, he's free, so he proceeds to decay AFO. Hand to his head, hand to his chest, hand through to the heart. Decays every last bit of flesh he can grab and clench into nothingness. Super-regeneration can't help here.
(Moments too late, proto-Noumu is unleashed by the Doctor to stop Shigaraki, but Shigaraki decays them too. And part of the lab, for good measure.)
It's a bloodbath. ❤️
Afterwards, Shigaraki confronts a cowering Doctor, his aura of fear literally immobilizing the old man. Knowing AFO and the Doc, they probably have a backup plan or five. A copy of AFO (quirk) somewhere, obviously, but what else? A clone? Some sort of memory transfer to a digital brain? The Doc is unable to answer, but Shigaraki doesn't care too much about it right now. Just don't even try digging those out. Shigaraki will deal with him later - there are things Shigaraki needs to confirm and deal with first.
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What's your favorite kind of rock, and what's the worst depiction of it (or lack of depiction in an environment that should have it) that you've seen in media?
I have taken... several days to think about this. Unfortunately, I feel this question would be better asked to someone who might study igneous or sedimentary rocks. So if anyone else in either of these fields or otherwise has some topics to touch on, please give your Ted Talk. Until then, I will do my best to answer!
First things first, I study metamorphic rocks, which are rocks that used to be other rocks, but then were exposed to heat and pressure until they became something fundamentally different.
That's vague though! Specifically, I study rocks that formed in an ancient subduction zone and have come back up to the surface to tell the tale. My favorite kind of rock to look at is a blueschist, but I think the coolest rock around is eclogite (and also rodingites, but they are unrelated to the rest of this).
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A blueschist
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an eclogite
Both of these are formed in subduction zones, just at different depths.
Now how does this become problematic... well... these are all formed very deep in the ground, so I can't really be made at media for not depicting them, let alone depicting them incorrectly.
That said...I have so much ranting I can and will do about geology in general, because it is not mentioned enough in media in any capacity.
Trying to find good geology documentaries is a struggle in a sea of nature and space docs. Even while watching a documentary about space the other day, they had phrased something in such a way that it wasn't "wrong" but if uninformed it would cause an EXTREME misunderstanding just because of poor wording.
I had to pause the video and call my significant other in for him to witness it as well, and this is a DOCUMENTARY for goodness sake. I am not even talking about the conspiracy leaning documentaries they show on the science channel.
Which I serious hate those! Why can nature documentaries get all these shows where they are just telling a story about the beauty of nature and geology documentaries always have to 'draw people in' by suggesting there is a blackhole in the Bermuda triangle or something outlandish. You have to wade through 40 minutes of crazy ass ideas to get to 10 minutes of actual science.
My ideal geology documentary would be them going to a region and taking you out in the field, showing beautiful scenery of today, and then looking at the rocks, talking about what they mean and taking you 'back in time' to see what that might have looked like when those rocks were formed.
You could make so many of those!!! some with every rock type, where people do actual science, and you still get to look at beautiful landscapes, but you also get to LEARN.
Anyway, documentaries aren't the only problem, I love fantasy. I love it. However, what makes fantasy incredibly good is when major plots are rooted in some general idea of truth. And that is true for a couple reasons!
If your idea is founded in some kind of truth, it takes less time to have to explain and people viewing don't have to take time to 'make it make sense' another reason its helpful to have some fleshed out idea built on real life principles is because it helps the person who is making it, as in, if you aren't sure of what this should look like or 'what would happen if you did this to that' you have something similar to look up and find out.
Now not everything has to 'make sense' but at least some things should.
You should not be finding coal right next to gemstones, it isn't realistic, and it pisses me off.
Also, of course I hate movies with unrealistic natural disasters... its not even necessary to depict unrealistic things. There have been super crazy things that have ACTUALLY happened in earth's history that in modern day would have devastating effects.
Anyway, apologies I couldn't grant you the rant you may have wanted, but it did feel good to get some things off my chest!
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saficswrites · 22 days ago
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Commissions are OPEN
Do you like Fire Emblem, gay women, supporting artists, or just really enjoy my work?
Because I’m on VGen now, and I need your help to get verified!
Until I’m verified the only method of transaction available to me is paypal, which severely limits what I can write, not the mention I don’t trust that company within a hundred meters of my livelihood.
This is however a necessary step towards me actually making a living doing this hobby that I adore, and I don’t mind writing sfw fics too.
Thus you are all invited to the Safics… something, it’s an event and I have no idea what to name it. 
The way this will work is that I’ll be opening a batch of safe for work commission slots on VGen for a really low price, and if commissioning artists isn’t your thing you can still help out by sharing or reposting this announcement to increase its reach!
These commissions are likely some of the cheapest I’ll ever offer, and for the price-to-word ratio they will probably be far and above the best deal I’ll give outside of other events like this: I am offering 750-1,000 words, fully edited, for $10 USD. The fics could also potentially be longer if they click with me and I get inspired! In that case, there would be no extra cost associated with the commission despite the total word count surpassing 1,000 words.
That’s 75-100 words for every dollar you spend, and that’s not even factoring in the time spent proofreading and editing!
Because of the nature of this being a larger batch of commissions it may take a bit of time to get all off them done, but I promise to keep my prospective clients updated on their fics progress (including letting them know when I’ve started it) so long as VGen offers me the tools to do so, which I’m sure it does.
The current plan is to release four separate batches of three commission slots, but that may fluctuate as the event goes on.
Additionally, how much say you have in the finished product is also completely up to you! 
-Do you want to mostly be surprised after giving me your prompt? I’ll do it without any input.
-Do you want to have a big say in the direction of every aspect of the fic? I can share excerpts or even the entire draft at multiple stages to make sure it’s going a direction you approve of, while also gathering feedback and advice from you to help make it as good as possible.
-Do you want a mix of those two options? Because I can do that too.
I have experience with both extremes of the writing process from my pretty extensive work offering free requests on Tumblr, for anons I didn’t really have much choice in the matter but when possible I would dm the requestor to ask how much involvement they wanted, and in some cases even share the entire fic as I was writing it!
Because it’s only ten bucks and I’m sure there are at least some fees attached, payment IS due up front, but if for whatever reason I find myself unable to complete the prompt adequately you’ll receive a full refund AND get to keep a pdf of the work in progress draft.
Making this experience as good as it possibly can be for the both of us is something I strive for, but that does go both ways. Overworking myself super hard and burning at this stage out would be catastrophic, and it is something I’m wary of, so because of that the amount of hours I work in a given day will be capped to help keep my work life balance reasonable.
To put all the information in one place: you will receive 750-1,000 words that amount to a fully edited realization of your prompt created to the best of my abilities, either as a pdf file or a google doc.
I cannot give any concrete information on how long each fic will take to be ready, both because of the fact these are batch commissions and because I’ve never done something quite like this before, but I do promise to be transparent with you and offer a full refund (so long as I’ve not yet started on your fic) if the wait becomes too much.
Batch comm rules:
Requests must be safe for work, no horny and no over the top violence. Trust me, there’s a reason I will stop accepting Paypal payments the moment I am verified.
I retain the right to reject any request for any reason, even something as asinine as not vibing with it. Forcing myself to create something that doesn’t click with me will result in a final product that neither of us will be happy with and you deserve better from a commission than that.
They gotta be gay. Well not exactly, but Safics is my name for a reason, I’m not super interested in writing mlw or mlm fics, I am completely on board with nblw though. This rule applies much less to platonic fics but I do generally prefer to write stories that are not about men. Also it should go without saying but trans women ARE women and I am completely comfortable writing them, in fact I actually enjoy it!
Because I am underselling myself here tips are appreciated if you really enjoy your fic, but they are in no way necessary much less expected. Positive reviews would be appreciated as well, perhaps even more-so since those are one of the requirements to get verified.
vgen.co/Safics
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messedupfan · 1 year ago
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Benefits of Car Troubles| 6
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Summary: Jules relapse causes unwanted stress for Leigh and Y/n worries for her and the baby. And Y/n gets an unexpected visitor.
A/N: If you think you've read chapter 6 for this story before... No you didn't because I just posted it. This is chapter 6. Enjoy!
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Thump, thump.
Thump, thump.
You smile as you hear the healthy heartbeat of the baby growing in Leigh’s womb from the speakers on the monitor. “I never get tired of hearing that,” you say as you hold Leigh's hand. The two of you are at another appointment to monitor the baby's growth and health. So far every appointment has gone smoothly and this one is no different. 
“I will say, in my thirty years as a doctor, I have never heard a stronger heartbeat than this one. The two of you should be proud,” the doctor says. And although you're sure she is just saying that to be nice, part of you wants to believe that your baby has the strongest heartbeat ever. 
“Thank you, doctor,” Leigh smiles as she sits up. “I have been under some stress lately and it relaxes me a bit to know that it's nothing he or she can't handle.” 
“Hold on now, stress is not good for either you or the baby. I highly recommend that, if you can of course, you remove yourself from any high stressors until after you give birth. Okay?” 
“Yes ma’am,” Leigh agrees as she wipes the gel off of her belly. 
“And you better help her,” the doctor says to you. 
“I will do my best, doc. Thank you,” you say as you help Leigh down from the observation bed. As you leave the office you can't help but be concerned about whatever is stressing Leigh out and be confused that she hasn't mentioned anything to you about it. “I didn't know that you were stressed out,” you start as you hold the passenger door open for her. 
Leigh sighs and waits for you to get inside of the car. “It’s silly stuff that's all,” she says and you tell her that nothing is silly if it's bothering her so much. “I'm just, I'm scared of being a terrible mother. And there are so many ways a baby could die. I'm just. It's overwhelming sometimes. Then there's my divorce, which isn't going well, at all! I still get sick at night or wake up with intense cravings that keep me up sometimes! And my mom and Jules are arguing again because Jules relapsed and we have no idea what set her off. We thought she was fine after her break up with Estelle! Not only has her drinking gotten out of hand but she comes home late at night and usually has company. If she's not keeping me up that way it's because she's stuck somewhere and needs me to pick her up and I'm just really tired and I-”
“Move in with me,” you interrupt her rant. 
“What?” She freezes at your statement. 
“Before you say no again, please really consider your health here. Leigh, you don't need the stress and you really need the rest. I'm not a terrible roommate and honestly, with you getting closer to your third trimester it'd make me feel more comfortable being near you at all times. I don't want to miss the birth of our child. And I'm even willing to get up in the middle of the night to cater to your cravings.” You try to sell the idea to Leigh. 
“I don't know,” she says as she considers the idea. “Your place is the perfect single person apartment, I don't know if it's big enough for the two of us.” Leigh rubs her belly as she continues to think. “Even if it does somehow fit us, there's no way it's meant for three and I definitely don't want to live somewhere that is so hazardous for the baby.” 
“I guess this is another one of those before pregnancy conversations huh?” You half heartedly joke about the situation. She shoots you a glare and you hold your hands up with an apology. “I just completely forgot about living situations during this whole thing. I never expected you to take care of the baby by yourself in your mother's house but I never thought about us living in my apartment together,” you admit as you try to think about something better. 
“It’s okay, I'm not exactly sure what I expected to happen either. But the idea of having my mom around to help me is very comforting and I'm not sure I can do this without her,” Leigh says. 
“I get that, but it sounds like she already has her hands full with your sister. Not to mention how unhelpful having her around would be. If you can't sleep because of Jules, I don't see how the baby will,” you point out.
“What do we do?” Leigh asks, unable to conjure a solution. 
You grab her hand and kiss her knuckles. “I don't know but we can think about it some more. We have time,” you promise her. She thanks you for trying to take care of her. “Let's get something to eat before I drop you off. Anything you've been craving today?” 
Leigh's eyes light up and you laugh as you start the car and get ready to take her to the fast food places that she wants to combine. 
Later that week, after some convincing, you spend the night at Leigh's house to see how bad the situation really is and wake up at three in the morning to her phone ringing. You answer it before she wakes up as well and feel frustrated when you can hardly hear Jules through the booming music. You take your phone from where it was charging and locate her from the tracking app that you and Leigh worked together on installing without her knowledge. 
You kiss Leigh’s temple as she snores softly in her sleep and leave a little note on her nightstand. You get in your car and drive an hour away to where Jules is. When you arrive, you are grumpy because by the time you get back, you have to go to work. You park and lock your car as you search for Jules in the sea of people having a good time at four in the morning. When you do find Jules it's because you hear chanting and you find her doing a keg stand. You help the two guys that were holding her upside down put her back on her feet and she is disappointed for a moment until she realizes that you're the one that put an end to her fun. 
She jumps you with a tight hug but you are in no mood to reciprocate. “Come on, I don't have a lot of time,” you say as you pick her up in a bridal style in order to keep her from running off. “Let’s get you home.”
“Thank you, Y/n,” she slurs as she nuzzles against your chest. “My mom or sister would have been so pissed but it wasn't my idea to come out here! I swear!”
You keep your mouth shut as you get her into the backseat. On the way back to Leigh's house, you have to stop by a coffee drive thru in order to continue driving safely. You offer to order for Jules but are only met with obnoxious snores and mumbles of sleep gibberish. You continue your drive listening to your playlist and when you get to Leigh's house the sun is starting to rise. 
You carry Jules all the way to her room and tuck her in before returning to Leigh's bedroom. You watch her sleep with a soft smile and write her another note before you leave for work.
While you work you and Teddy take turns looking through listings online in Leigh's neighborhood to see if there is anything available that Leigh might be okay with living in. So that she could have her mom close to her while allowing the two of you to have the space and privacy that you need. The two of you pick out three listings and you send the links to Leigh to get her opinion on them.
In the evening, while you're getting ready to go back to Leigh's house, there is a knock on your apartment door. You frown as you run through the list of people that could be at your door and brace yourself as you open the door. You relax slightly when you see your father. But only slightly. 
“Tell me why I had to hear it from someone else that you're having a baby,” he says as he steps past you. 
You clench your jaw as you curse to yourself, another thing that slipped through the cracks. “I’m sorry dad, it has been a rollercoaster. I meant to call I just… it's been really tough balancing my life and hers and it's a complicated-”
“I want to meet her,” he interrupts.
“What?” 
“She’s having my grandchild and I don't know her name. I don't even know what she looks like,” he makes valid points and the guilt starts to eat at you more. Before he decided to expand the business and open several more locations in order to make more profits, the two of you worked side by side. The two of you were close. He knew everything that there was to know about your life. Then he gave you control over this location and he put his focus on the expansion of the company. The two of you grew distant. Only ever talking about business. “How long have you been with this girl? Are you going to do the right thing and marry her? Are you ready for this kind of commitment?”
You sit down on the sofa as you try to hold yourself together. Lying to your father wasn't something that you knew how to do. But you knew that telling him the truth was going to lead to disappointment. You never wanted to disappoint your father. In the time that you were making the decisions that lead to Leigh becoming pregnant, you never ever thought you'd have to explain yourself to someone. Well, other than Teddy. You certainly didn't think you'd have to explain yourself to your father. It was never supposed to go this far. 
“I love her, dad,” you say after you tell him the complete story of how you and Leigh came to be. 
Your dad clenches his jaw as he processes. “I raised you better than to go after a kept woman.” 
“Really, dad, kept woman? That's not-”
“She was married! You knew better!” He raises his voice. You clamp your mouth shut. “You should have never gone after her. But you did and now we're here. You're going to be a parent and I'm proud that you're accepting responsibility. But I am disappointed in how this came to be.” He shakes his head and sighs. “Do you have the paternity results? My lawyer will need those in case her husband tries to pull something that could negatively affect you or even this company.”
You are quiet for a moment before you tell him that she hasn't taken a paternity test yet. “I’ve read online that those tests aren't safe for the baby when they're in utero. If it's that important, we'll get one done after the birth.” 
Your father stands from where you had him sit as you told him the story. “You accepted responsibility for a child that may or may not be yours?” 
“Dad, I love Leigh. That child is without a doubt in my mind, my child. Even if he or she or they comes out without my genetics, that baby will still be mine-”
“Ah ha! So you do have doubts!” Your father interrupts. 
“No! I'm just trying to tell you how much she and this baby means to me! I'm looking for a house and-and maybe I'll even look into getting a ring if that's what she wants. I don't know! What I do know is that she and the baby are my family now and I hope you can accept that.” 
Your father looks you up and down and then nods once. “Okay, I will. That's what you want, I'm here for you. So when can I meet my daughter-in-law?” He asks again. 
“Uh I was actually about to head over to her house. I can ask if she's up for meeting you tonight,” you offer. 
“No, no, I don't want it to be a last minute thing. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on the poor girl. Here's what I think we should do. You invite her and her family over to my house for dinner on Sunday evening. Under these circumstances, I prefer to host because she's creating my grandchild and she doesn't need to worry about a menu for me and a presentable home. How does that sound?”
You nod along, agreeing with his plan. “Yeah, I will invite them to Sunday dinner. I'm sorry again for taking so long to tell you about all of this.” 
“It’s okay Y/n, you're an adult now. You don't have to run your decisions outside of the company by me. I love you,” he pulls you in for a tight hug. You return the sentiment and hold him just as tight. 
You catch up with him as you walk him out to his car before you part ways to get in your car to go to Leigh's house. It was nice to be able to chat with him like before. You hadn't realized how much you missed him until you had to say goodbye to him. 
Once you get to the Shaw residence you immediately tell Leigh about the dinner with your father and she happily accepts, excited to get to know your father. Then the two of you talk about the houses you sent her and she tells you that she already sent emails in order to make appointments to tour the homes. “So we're really doing this?” You ask her with hopeful eyes. 
She nods with love in hers, “Yes, we're doing this. We're going to find a home for our family,” she takes your hand and places it on her belly. “It’s what is meant to be.” 
“I love you,” you kiss her on the lips and pull her closer to you. 
“Mmm, I love you too,” she kisses you back.
Seven
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bonefall · 1 year ago
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Ask Etiquette
HELLO sorry for the intimidating post lmao, I just need something to toss up on the masterpost because I feel bad deleting asks and then people will never really have an idea of why I never answered them
I get a ton of asks (usually anywhere from 10 - 20 a day!) and I'm not able to get to them all! I try to answer as many as possible but I'm still just one guy. So with that in mind, there are some sorts of asks I will simply not answer, and some 'requests' I have for people who send them in;
Please keep your asks short PLEASE try not to send me essays if you want a response; I still love reading them! But if you send me walls of text/analysis you are asking me to write a lot in response, which I'd rather spend on actually writing or designing cats. (On that note if you send a bunch of questions at once, the likelihood I respond goes down.)
Do not send me personal questions Listen... I'm a stranger on the internet. I'm overjoyed to see when my art connects with people and helps you realize things! But don't ask me sensitive questions like how to move out of your abusive parents' house!! PLEASE learn internet safety and get less comfortable with volunteering that kind of information to people you don't know!
Do not ask me personal questions you do not need to know what i study or where i work. get less comfortable asking these sorts of questions to queer people on the internet, especially when they talk openly about having previously been abused or stalked. (not that a person should even need to be as open about that as i am)
If I don't have a good response I won't answer Especially for suggestions I don't vibe with. I try to only say "No" if I have a particularly interesting "No" to talk about, if that makes sense! If I had to write a full explanation for every veto or idea I don't vibe with, this blog would be 90% what isn't in BB.
No AUs within the AU. "What if Hawkfrost survived his impalement? What if Firestar never joined? What if Tigerstar was never born?" Listen, buddy, you're creating an exponential distraction for possible ways the story could have gone and I'm not looking to write several essays for the literal hundreds of alternative ways Clan history could have been written. It takes you 5 words to ask "What if X never died" but it takes me paragraphs to answer. (This isn't about suggestions btw, I very specifically mean ppl asking hypotheticals for fun.)
Don't be rude. I feel like this should go without saying but please mind the parasocial gap. Especially if you're on anon, I don't know you, your backstory, or your cadence.
No "Fight Baiting" You're free to ask me to speak about fandom trends, or for my opinions on general ideas, character discussions, and popular arguments! But it crosses a line if you're linking someone's posts with their uncropped usernames, sharing unsolicited google docs, youtube videos, etc, with the intention of getting me to attack a third party. We can talk about ideas without making it a PVP battle.
And, lastly, CLANMEW ASKS!!
I make a hard effort to get to everyone!! Those are published on Clanmew Day (WHICH IS NOW JUST GOING TO BE THE 30TH OF EVERY MONTH SO THAT IT'S LESS CONFUSING) but PLEASE understand I get a ton of them.
As I write this I have more than 26 tabs open of unanswered Clanmew asks, a lot more in my inbox, and 9 already in the queue. So that you understand the sheer volume of asks I have there.
If I didn't get to you that month, chances are that I'll get to you on the next, but please understand why I ask for folks to not re-send asks
So here's Clanmew-specific requests;
PLEASE just try a translation on your own first! Don't just send me raw lists of OCs to translate, give it a go first using the Lexicon, just so I can see you tried. I will happily and gladly make more specific words for you when I see you try!
When you send OCs you've translated, ask me for a new word at the end if you didn't already in your list. Just in case I can't think of a witty comment or a word suggestion, you will help me a lot
Please try to format with lists like this one Folks will send me double or triple-indented lists and it will take up my entire screen when they've only sent like, 5 names. Remember that posts you send to me go on people's dashes, be considerate please You can open a list like this by starting a new paragraph, typing -, and then an immediate space. Hold Shift + Enter to indent without adding another bullet.
If you could put "Clanmew" somewhere in your ask, like even if you open up with "Clanmew: Here is my question blah blah," it would help immensely I physically can't get to every ask I receive on Clanmew Day, so if you have "Clanmew" in your ask somewhere, it makes it a lot easier for me to find it when I can finally answer! I really wish Tumblr had ways to sort asks, but currently, I've just gotta make due with Cntrl + F.
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dayacakrawala · 5 months ago
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If you knew how many nasty medical kink ideas parade through my brain, you'd feel pity for me. Today it's Spinister giving Fulcrum a bottom surgery, part 1/2. The procedure of reformatting Fulcrum into a K-con was quick and rough. Living weapon production prioritizes rate and efficiency over individual approach and actually making it comfortable for patients. Fulcrum heard about those who got their post-reformatting dysphoria so awful they asked to be used as fast as possible, ironically, not because of their passion for The Cause. Maybe it was done this way on purpose.
Some of Fulcrum's components have felt like not sitting right since the reformation. And now, when the war is over, it hits even harder, but it's not the worst issue. The worst is that now he doesn't have to die and can enjoy life for a little while, before they run into the DJD again. But he's missing some parts designed for life enjoyment. Long story short, his spike and valve are long gone, his interface panel is sealed.
That's what he told Spinister, who is now working between his legs. Fulcrum's sensors below his waist are shut down, so it's a loud "A-ha!" that tells him the seal's finally come off. Spinister clicks, eyeing the bare array.
"Dirty work," he says, sounding amused. Fulcrum is looking now too, and the whole thing is… unsettling. Dented, crumpled metal. Melted wiring. Well, maybe Fulcrum shouldn't feel shy about Spinister staring at his junk, because there's no junk, technically. This thought is not helping, though.
"They uprooted your fun parts but left the spike housing in place. The juice system seems fine too," Spinister's finger is pointing at a hole with rippled edges that used to be a spike housing. "I can't restore your hoo-ha and ding-dong, sorry, no spare materials. But I can make a neo-cunny from your spike housing. If I fix the tubing, you'll get all nice and wet when horny again! I just need to rewire it here and ri-ight there. You like being spiked?"
Heat washes through Fulcrum's energon vessels in a wave. And maybe it's a glitch in his audio processing, but Spinister sounds… suggestive?
"You mean you can create a valve?" Fulcrum asks hesitantly.
"Short and cute one, yeah!"
Short and cute sounds better than nothing at all. And to be honest, Fulcrum really liked being spiked back then.
So, for the next half an hour, he's staring at the ceiling with his sensors still numb and only his spread-out pose and Spinister's soft humming telling him about the magic being performed. When they're finished, he's hesitating again, not sure if he's ready to see the result now. Maybe it's better to thank the doc, close his panels, and explore himself (in any way it takes) in the safety of his hab. But Spinister's "C'mon, look, that's a cute one" makes him in-vent deeply. And look.
And oh damn, it's a valve. Placed where his spike used to be. Smaller than his old one. But it's definitely a valve, with delicate petals tightly closed over it. Even a small node is visible below the entrance. Could be a beautiful minibot cunt, Fulcrum thinks, feeling weirdly hot. He's not a narcissist or shit, no, but seeing his own array functional again fills him with so much happiness that it quickly transforms into excitement, then into arousal. With his sensors awoken back through the medical panel, he can feel his neo-valve fucking TINGLING.
"Wanna give it a test drive?" Spinister asks, admiring his work and reaching with his finger to touch. Fulcrum nods weakly and pushes his hips up. And oh, he's feeling, he's feeling it.
Lubricant's oozing out while Spinister's big fingertip's circling the external lining, testing the sensitivity, or teasing, or toying, or everything at the same time. When his pad brushes the node and slips lower, the fleshy petals stick tightly around his phalange, and Fulcrum's overloading. His insides are clenching. Mechanisms that used to help his spike pressurize are spasming haltingly, as if confused by their new function. So odd and sweet at the same time. Fulcrum can't hold back a whine.
Spinister lets him catch his breath for several seconds before standing up, but not to move away.
"See, it worked," he says, his plating proudly (or eagerly?) puffing up. "I'll spike you now, right?"
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