#about me struggling to make any decision regarding my future

[the-golden-dragoness]

Not crying and being guilt ridden again :))))))

[kalki-tarot]

A conversation between you and your future spouse – timeless pac 💌

Disclaimer : this reading is for entertainment purposes only and does not guarantee any possible outcomes. Tarot is not 100% correct all the times. Your life is in your hands and you are responsible for your own actions and decisions.

Pile one 💫

This situation seems like some third party is affecting your relationship. The third party can be anything from people to things to addictions etc. You assumed thay future spouse may have lied to you about something which caused a fight between you guys. Remember that fights are normal in a relationship. And can be resolved with proper communication and understanding.

Your fs : See, I'm too disappointed with this situation and i deeply regret it. But you see, it's not entirely my fault..

You : I'm completely heartbroken because of you

Your fs : I clearly left and ignored that woman when she approached me darling, I walked away! I don't even know that woman!

Your anger calms down when your fs explains themselves. And you feel relieved. You may have insecurities about your fs leaving you for some other woman, so you got angry.

You : You know that I'm scared of you leaving me alone for someone else

Your fs : I know that, and i will never leave you sweetheart! Do you get that!? Don't get insecure about anything. I'm always yours. You are my better half and you are the only one with whom i feel at home, at peace.

Your fs comforts you and tells you how much you mean to them and you need not worry about anything or anyone. They also hug you and rub your back for sometime. This situation may take place while you guys are on a trip or traveling somewhere.

Pile two 💫

Wow, this conversation will take place when you are getting married or about to get married to your fs. You are happy and excited but you are also having racing thoughts and a restless heart. You are just feeling nervous about the whole thing, some of you guys actually suffer from overthinking and anxiety. And you are having intrusive thoughts at this moment.

Your fs : Hey honey ~ why are you standing there all alone? Come! Have fun with all our friends and relatives. Let's have a drink together ^^

You just stand there silent and say : Umh, I'm actually kinda scared.. to get married i guess..? This all seems to fast to me. I'm having intrusive thoughts, my mind is thinking of all the possibilities ahh! I'm getting frustrated... this feels like a big change for me. It's not that i don't want to get married with you it's just.. too fast for me!

Your fs : Hey hey hey! Calm down! I'm here for you. This may feel too fast but think of how joyful you were when we first decided to get married! It's a new beginning for both of us, i can understand you. You just need to relax. Don't worry about anything, I'll take the lead and do everything for you. You just take a deep breathe and calm yourself.

Your fs calms you down and assures you. You feel better when you hear them talk about taking care of you well. And you know from the deep corners of your heart that they will make a good spouse. Your anxiety feels relieved. And you are happy to have them in your life as a counterpart.

Pile 03 💫

This conversation can happen when you are going through a tough time in regards of your career. You are struggling between work and deadlines. You are completely exhausted but you are still working hard. Even people in your workplace may not appreciate you enough and you feel disappointed with yourself.

Your fs : hey nerd ;) where your eyes lookin' at? Come let's have some fun, take a break would you? Let's go out somewhere shall we?

You : Can you please not disturb me? I'm doing something important rn. And I'm not going anywhere till i finish this !

You frown and continue with your work. Your fs notices that.

Your fs : what happened dear? Is everything alright ? Are you stressed about anything?

You : yes! I am! Anything to do with you?

Your fs : why are u getting mad sweetie? 😋

You : AHHAHASAHAH, I'm so f**king stressed about this damn work i have to do. no one even notices my hardwork and patience! I'm sick of this!

Your fs : I appreciate you, your family appreciates you and you should change your godamn job if it keeps you hurting all the time yk? You have so much money already you should start some business or smth.

You : You know what! You are absolutely correct. I should start something of my own.

Your fs motivated you to leave your toxic work environment and start something of your own.

[sophistopheles]

hey!! ty for posting about the article talking about continuation of aa. I don’t know as much about the production of aa5 and 6 but you mentioned a person names Eshiro being responsible for the “no spoilers” rule being replaced. what/who is that? just in general giving u the floor to rant about aa5 and 6 beyond what u were able to say in that post and ur hopes for the future 💙✨ ok bye! :)

hiya!! (post here)

So, the story of why aa5 and aa6 are so different to aa4 basically boils down to a change in the team making it (and Eshiro was part of this).

Most people know Shu Takumi wrote and directed the original trilogy of Phoenix Wright games and then worked on Apollo Justice (although the director was technically Mitsuru Endo, people tend to think of AJ as the last "Takumi" mainline game). After that, he left the Ace Attorney team to complete and release Ghost Trick in 2010, and then he became involved in the development of Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright, which released in 2012.

While he was doing all of this, a "secondary" Ace Attorney team had arisen to keep working on the franchise - they had almost all worked on previous AA games and in 2009 and 2011 they were able to release the two Ace Attorney Investigations games.

The two most well-known members of this "team" are the producer Motohide Eshiro and the director Takeshi Yamazaki, and the fact that AAI2 is so beloved shows that they are by no means unable to make really, really good Ace Attorney games. But, with Takumi still busy with his other projects, and a good few years having passed since AA4, this team was asked to create a fifth Ace Attorney game in his absence.

This was, obviously, a challenge, and Capcom were likely in quite a rush to get a new mainline game out soon. Additionally, initial fan reception of AA4 was really not that good - many people hated the decision to disbar Phoenix in particular - and the game itself had many loose ends.

Eshiro, as the producer, decided that for AA5 it was better for the writers to not be held back by previous games, which manifested in what people think of now as the "no spoilers rule". This is why AA5 does not follow up on AA4, and likewise for AA6. Nowadays this decision is widely regarded as a very bad move, but on some level I empathise with it - AA has always been kind of reluctant to spoil past games, and you were always operating with the presumption that the player might be new to the series and wanted to go back to the previous games. Writing a follow-up that addressed AA4, while being acceptable to newcomers and not spoiling almost all of AA4's biggest twists, without the guy who originally came up with the story, would prove really difficult.

So they wrote Dual Destinies as a new story which followed AA4 but didn't really address it, and indulged in fanservice to try and restore the series status quo. It seems like the scenario changed a lot during development and they were pretty crunched for time, too - the final villain's models are apparently called FINALBOSS in the game files and completely broken if you look at them from any other angle.

After working on AA5, Yamazaki was apparently exhausted and didn't really want to make another Ace Attorney. Unfortunately for him, Shu Takumi was still off on his Sherlock & Souseki Victorian-Meiji Adventure, writing the Great Ace Attorney duology, and he wouldn't get done until 2017 when DGS2 came out.

Eshiro managed to persuade Yamazaki to work on AA6 by bringing him to conventions, and having seen the passion and overjoyed reactions from fans after AA5 came out, Yamazaki agreed to direct the sixth game, with Takuro Fuse (AA5 and 6's main artist) acting as co-director to ease the load. Some of AA6's cases were also created by guest writers; the SOJ artbook mentions a struggle for ideas, which explains the outlandish setting of Khura'in.

To the best of my knowledge (and I'm not sure this account is 100% accurate so anyone please feel free to correct me) this is why AA5 and AA6 are the way they are. Nobody is particularly to blame for how things turned out; there were just a couple of bad decisions along the way which has resulted in the games being looked back on by a lot of people with some contempt. Given the circumstances, I'm actually pretty impressed with how enjoyable Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice are, even if they don't reach the heights of the trilogy.

Yamazaki left Capcom in 2019. Eshiro went on to produce Dai Gyakuten Saiban 2, and I'm pretty sure he's still at Capcom.

What all of this means for the next Ace Attorney title is completely speculation, but the short version of the story is that Shu Takumi has finally come back from getting milk Herlock Sholmes Jail writing other games, and seems to be getting hyped up by capcom as the "Director of the Ace Attorney Series". This makes it very likely he will direct and write the next Ace Attorney game. At present we have no idea what this means - he could follow up on AA4's story as well as he's able, he could write another Phoenix game, he might go rogue and write an Athena game, he might do something completely different. But the next AA game will likely be around the quality of AA1-2-3-4 and DGS, not another AA5/6 situation.

As for the producer, this comes from the November 2020 leaks (which was very real - it's where we first got the TGAA localisation confirmed), but the only thing we heard about their projected AA7 was that it would be produced by a guy called Yasayuki Makino. He also produced The Great Ace Attorney collection, and if you read his dev blogs from that release, he credits AA4 for getting him into the series initially, and generally seems to be a huge Ace Attorney fan himself, pushing hard for TGAA to get a worldwide re-release after its unimpressive initial sales (and look how well that's worked out...!)

That's basically the story. I think AA7 will be great, actually, but at this point I will literally take anything, Capcom please my family is starving

[moonyinpisces]

I am curious what you, a preeminent Aziraphale Understander, thinks about all the Final Fifteen theories i.e. the slew of theories that basically boil down to the F15 are not to be taken at face value, Aziraphale is either lying under threat or being manipulated by the Metatron via coffee or whatever, etc.

thank you for asking! it is a blessing and a curse to understand aziraphale but i will do my very best to put vibes into words. like everything he did in the final fifteen tracks to me, but i'll try to explain why in case people are still struggling with it. obligatory this is my opinion blah blah blah but if you disagree then make your own post so it's easier for me to ignore

anyway. here's the thing. i think textually it's pretty clear that aziraphale didn't have a choice. i think the show made that obvious with the "give me coffee OR give me death", the title sequence includes a coffee cup marching along with the other figures, this being a shared moment of materiality/consuming human food which was established as significant in "othering" angels/demons from their respective sides in the job minisode. the end result is meant to be a kinship to rationalize aziraphale agreeing with the metatron, as everything about the metatron in e6 was designed to 1. attract aziraphale 2. repel crowley

the repulsion worked on crowley, even just secondhand. he sees the manipulation and understands that aziraphale being used as distraction for the second coming is far more significant than what aziraphale believes he is capable of towards making any meaningful change in heaven. but i don't think the metatron's attraction worked on aziraphale. i don't think the end result we saw was aziraphale agreeing because the metatron was likable, and i think he's fully aware of the manipulation (even if he doesn't know about the second coming yet). just as, with the coffee cup, he is fully aware that he has no other choice. of course, this isn't a removal of autonomy to aziraphale; most of his character choices throughout the series are him working inside the idea that he he NEVER has a choice anyway (re: god's plan, ineffable or otherwise). and in this case, he knows just as well as crowley does that he was offered this position in heaven to be split up from crowley/earth for whatever reason; he just absolutely thinks that what he'll be able to achieve in heaven overrides however the metatron thinks he'll be able to be restrained/distracted. and in a much larger sense, he sees this as something he's meant to do via god

and aziraphale wants crowley to come with him. that's not fake or naive, and he doesn't think crowley will refuse bc their communication skills are quite literally the central conflict of the show. aziraphale is like, look how powerful we are together. look how much heaven wants to split us up. if you come with me to heaven, we are in a much better position of making meaningful change so we can have a peaceful existence together in the future, ON earth. which is what you clearly want. and i don't think this is a naive viewpoint to have like other people have said; i think this is confident. i think aziraphale is saying we can change the FOUNDATIONS of heaven, while crowley is saying the foundations CANNOT be changed. they are operating off two different modes of thought. and aziraphale uses crowley's perceived 'rejection' as fuel when he steps on that elevator, not out of anger towards crowley (at least not genuinely) but as desperate fodder to the fire that's been stoking 6000-so years of anger. in that moment (regarding the smile in the elevator), following the look to the bentley after he learns about the second coming and understands what crowley knew and was purposefully not saying, i just think that to aziraphale, crowley becomes another person to prove wrong

so ultimately did aziraphale have a choice? no. does he know this? yes. does he still make the decision to accept the supreme archangel position as if he had a choice? also yes. why? because he's insane (i say this with love). and also he has aligned himself with god more than he's ever aligned himself with heaven, and he's going to show everyone what he's capable of

[delimeful]

Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?

And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?

I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.

Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.

(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)

this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.

i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.

to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.

i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.

it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.

my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.

currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.

in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.

finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.

(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)

in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future

[iwantdatcookie]

LIFE UPDATE

Its been a while, but I think it's time I made an update about what's happened to my family and I these past few months, how we've been holding up, and our plans for the future.

Long story short, some few months back, we were victims of a house fire, we all got out okay, but we lost most of our possessions. Right now we are okay and we are not in a terrible economic situation. For that reason, and considering the state of the world, I don't feel quite right in asking for donations, at least not outright.

You can see a more complete history of how things went, what our plans are, and my thoughts regarding any possible help are under the cut.

So the long version of the story is that on May of this year, the house fire started as a fire that began in our neighbors house, that subsequently spread to ours. There was some hope that the fire wouldnt spread, but it ended up happening and most of our house was destroyed

This is the picture i took, which i posted as part of my original post when the incident happened

In the last update from that original post, I mentioned we were being shown a place we could stay at, provided by a friend of the family, which we ended up staying in for a couple of months. The cleanup process for the initial debris and all the costs incurred had to paid from our own pockets, as the house was too old to be insured sadly.

While this all happened, we contracted a construction company to build us a prefab house in the space available in our backyard, a process which took about 3 months. We did this so that we would be able to return as quickly as possible to look after our cats, who managed to survive. We hadn't been able to take them with us to our temporary homes because of lack of space and other animals being there.

As the prefab house was built, we also bought all the necessary utilities, as well as more clothes. My parents covered most of the costs there, including the house, and I pitched in with the cost for things like the kitchen appliances as well as our clothes. Around this time I got some money from people who donated to me as well, so I used it alongside money from my savings. I spent the equivalent to around 1000 usd back then.

The house was finished around August, and we have been living here since then. For my parents and I, its quite comfortable enough as is.

It really has the accommodations of a regular house, despite being a prefab, so it worked out nicely!

That said, because our family is bigger than just my parents and me, we are still thinking of building a bigger, non prefab house so we can still get together with my siblings and other friends of the family more comfortably.

The plans for that new house are still in progress right now, but once those are finalized and we all come to an agreement together, we will go through with it. When that happens, that's when the real big spending will come. My parents will have to take from their retirement savings, and my siblings and I will surely try to pitch in what we can. This however is still a while away from now.

That said, even with such things considered, we are not at risk of becoming destitute. We have enough savings and we can make it by just alright.

This is the part where I go over my opinions regarding donations. Quite frankly, I don't feel fully in a position to be asking for donations too openly. There are many, many other people going through very horrible situations right now, people in Gaza, Sudan, Lebanon, Congo, and many other places (ive still been making some donations here and there to campaigns that take paypal). Besides that, I've been struggling for a while from other things weighing on my conscience going years back, so that is adding to the amount of stress that comes up whenever I think about this.

Still, I've come to a decision. I know still that people care about me, so, if anyone feels able, and is not struggling, they can dm me and I can send you a link to donate if you feel inclined. I still feel inclined to insist that you first donate to a campaign from Gaza Funds , Sudan Funds, and any other campaign I reblog here in my blog. I will feel better if you do, even if I don’t get donations myself.

I thank anyone who’s taken the time to read this, it means a lot to me that people are worried about me. I promise that my family and I will be fine, regardless of what happens.

Love you all a lot!

[marzmeltdown]

Bad Decisions

⌦ Pairing: Prof!Changkyun (I.M) x Fem!Reader ⌦ Genre(s): Smut ⌦ Warning(s): swearing,, age gaps (changkyun's in his 30's readers in their 20's),, power dynamics,, exhibitionism (kinda),, nicknames (changkyun: sir,, professor,, reader: doll,, princess,, idk if slut constitutes itself as a nickname but its used,, ),, cream pies(pls be practice safe sex besties),, deep throating,, face fucking,, desk sex,, choking,, oral (m receiving),, Dacryphilia,, dirty talk,, spit eating (idk if thats what its called),, fingering,, humiliation,, ⌦ Word count: 2.66k ⌦ Summary: You're struggling in your history class, so naturally, you go to your professor for help. You weren't expecting to receive that type of help as well. ⌦ A/N: Listening to Hollywood Undead and Monsta X while writing this was an experience to say the least. I may or may not have written this for myself as well. Have y'all seen that tiktok of Changkyun pulling out of a parking spot w one hand? Twas truly beautiful. If there's anything you feel I should improve on in the future, don't hesitate to let me know! You can find progress updates on everything I write in my pinned post every Wednesday.:)

��� marz’s tag list ⌦ marz’s req form

You cried as you looked at the exam grade displayed on your computer screen. You couldn't believe what you were seeing. D+, you had studied so hard; how could you have gotten such a bad grade? You sat at your desk with your knees to your chest, crying into them.

Your head flew up as you heard the door to your dorm room swing open, followed by your roommate's keys jingling as she walked in. She sat her bag on the floor beside her bed, oblivious to your crying until she took her headphones out of her ears.

"Oh my god, y/n, are you okay? What happened??" She asked, tossing her headphones onto her bed as she rushed over to you. You sniffled a bit, turning the laptop towards her with one hand while the other wiped away the tears that had taken residence on the tip of your chin.

"I got a D on my history exam," you said. It took everything in you not to scream with how upset you were; history was the only class you were struggling in. Which didn't make any sense to you, as you really liked history.

"What the hell? You studied so hard! You study more than I do!" Your roommate gasped, her brows furrowed in confusion and irritation as she too tried to wrap her head around how you could have done so poorly on an exam you worked so hard to prepare for. You sniffled once more, turning the laptop back to you and beginning to write your professor an email asking if he were free tomorrow during his office hours.

"I'm going to go talk to him tomorrow and see if there's anything I can do to get my grade up," you said, your voice slowly going back to normal rather than the shakey, upset voice you had when your roommate walked in on your crying session.

"That's a good idea. Mr. Im is a nice professor; I'm sure he would be more than willing to help you out." Your roommate said she hugged your side reassuringly before walking back to her side of the room.

Mr. Im replied to your email sooner than you had expected; he has always told students that as soon as 5 p.m. rolled around, any emails he had would be answered the following business day.

⌦ Mr Im:

ㅤY/N,

ㅤThank you for reaching out regarding your performance in class, my office hours are open all ㅤday.

ㅤThank you, Mr. Im.

You smiled as you read the email, looking back at your roommate, who had gotten comfortable on her bed. "He's free all day tomorrow; hopefully we can get something figured out."

"That's great; I'm sure he will work with you about your grade," she reassured once more.

You sighed shakily as you stood outside your professor's office. Rarely did you ask for help, so knowing that you were about to knock on Mr. Im's door to do exactly that made you nervous. After a couple deep breaths, you knocked on the door. You were worried that you'd knocked too softly until the door swung open, revealing your professor.

"Y/N, come in; it's good to see you." Mr. Im smiled, and you stood there in awe for a moment as you soaked in his smile. He was ethereal, and you felt as though you could stare at him all day if you could.

"Nice to see you too, Mr. Im," you stuttered, stepping into the room. It was neater than you had expected; every book on the shelf was in order from biggest to smallest, and the couch that sat against the wall looked untouched. His desk looked unused aside from the stack of papers on the left corner and a water bottle that sat next to his computer; the floor was spotless as well.

"What was it you wanted to talk about, y/n?" Changkyun asked, following you to his desk once he shut the door. You both took seats in the chairs opposite each other.

"I wanted to talk about my grade; it's not great," you said, rubbing the back of your neck nervously.

"I'm well aware that your grade isn't anything to brag about," he replied, leaning back in his chair.

"Right.." You said that, blushing a bit as you looked down.

"I suppose you're hoping I can help you fix that?" He asked, and his tone came off more condescending than he had meant it.

"Yeah, if you'd be so kind,"

"Well, if you paid better attention in my class, you might do better," he suggested. Your head snapped up at him as you looked at him with widened eyes. He smirked softly, beginning to speak as he stood up from his chair. "Don't act so surprised, y/n; I see how you stare at me during class; it's pretty obvious." He said, you hadn't noticed that he was standing right next to you until he gently took hold of your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

"It makes me wonder what's going on in that pretty little head of yours," he said, running his thumb against your bottom lip as he spoke. His voice had gotten deeper—sexier even, if that were possible. Instinctively, you parted your lips as you kept your eyes trained on him. "You and I both know that you're capable of studying for my exams, so I'll cut you a deal; I'll fix your grade if you do something for me."

Your professor seemed more talkative than normal, but you assumed anyone would be if they were discussing "deals" with another person. It was your turn to speak now. Before you could, however, his thumb found itself inside your mouth, pressing itself down on your tongue. Changkyun stood still as he waited for an answer, looking down at you with lidded eyes. You nodded in response to his offer.

Changkyun only smiled at this as his free hand worked at his belt. You moved your eyes to his hand as your hands reached up to aid him in taking his belt off. He jerked your head up gently, forcing you to look back up at him. "Eyes on me, doll."

Undoing the clasp of his belt and the buttons of his pants without being able to look at them seemed to be somewhat of a struggle. But the reward behind the zipper was worth the struggle. Changkyun moved his hand from your chin to your head once you pulled his pants down just enough for his cock to spring out.

You broke eye contact with your professor long enough to glance at his cock, your mouth watering at the sight. You brought a hand to pump at the base, looking back up at him as you began pumping his cock with a steady pace. His breath hitched slightly when you let your tongue run against the pink tip of his cock.

"Fuck, you look so pretty like this, princess," he breathed out as you took the head of his cock into your mouth. He gripped your hair roughly, forcing himself the rest of the way into your mouth. You did your best not to gag, though your efforts proved futile when the tip of his cock brushed against your throat.

The sound of your gag seemed to spark something within him as his hips began thrusting themselves into you and shoving his cock further down your throat. Tears began to form in the corners of your eyes from how harshly he was thrusting into you. The lewd sounds of your gags mixed with his groans of pleasure and the saliva being churned in your mouth filled the room. You were surprised no one had heard you two yet.

Just when you were certain your professor was only going to abuse your throat, he pulled out of you, pulling you to stand. Immediately, you leaned in to kiss him, the both of you hungrily attacking each other's mouths. Your hands found their way to Changkyun's collar, tugging him closer as you sat on his desk. Your fingers worked to undo the buttons on his shirt while his worked at the buttons on your pants. You mentally cursed at yourself for not taking your roommate's advice on the skirt she suggested you wear.

You pushed Changkyun's shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, before aiding him in taking your pants off. His hand found itself resting against your heat as his thumb rubbed itself against your clothed clit. You whimpered at his soft teasing, bucking your hips against his hand.

"Patience, princess, I'll fill you up soon," he said against your lips, his fingers still teasing you through your panties.

"Yes, sir," you replied, whining when he pulled your panties aside to continue teasing your hole. "Just take them off," you begged, moving a hand down to push your panties off.

Changkyun chuckled at your impatience but obliged, pulling your panties off the rest of the way, his hand finding itself attached to your heat once more. "You're so wet already, doll," he commented, emphasizing his words by slipping his middle finger into your hole. A soft moan escaped your lips, and you pulled away from the kiss to let your head fall back.

You let your eyes close as your professor began to pump his finger in and out of your hole. You pulled your shirt off as Changkyun inserted another finger, the surprise causing you to drop your shirt onto his desk, letting yourself lean against your hand as his thumb rubbed itself against your clit once more.

"F-fuck, professor, please," you begged as your head fell back. His fingers felt like magic against the nerves between your thighs.

"Please what, princess? Use your words," he said, his free hand reaching behind your back to unclasp your bra. You were surprised at how well your professor did tasks with one hand that would have required a normal person to use two.

"Fuck me, please," you whined, your free hand gripping at his toned biceps. He smirked at your request, pulling his fingers out of you and leaving your hole empty momentarily as he reached into his wallet to grab a condom. Your head snapped up to look at him, and your hand flew up to stop him, looking at him pleadingly.

He looked at you with a confused expression, his confusion disappearing once you opened your mouth to say, "I know you want to fuck your cum into me just as much as I want you to."

You weren't sure where this new bout of confidence came from, but the look on your professor's face when you spoke went straight to your core. You could feel the slick beginning to run down your thighs as you bit your lip. He tossed the partially opened condom onto the floor along with his wallet before pulling you closer by your thighs.

"If you keep talking like that, kitten, I might have to take you home with me," he said as he took his cock in one hand, his other pushing your thigh up even more, causing you to lie on your back. You whimpered as Changkyun rubbed his cock against your folds, propping yourself up on your elbows to watch him.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, princess?" Changkyun began as he slowly thrust himself into you. It took all the strength you had not to let your head fall back so you could watch as your professor's cock disappeared into your hole before reappearing again once you'd had time to adjust to his size.

You bit your lip as Changkyun began speaking again, painting a more detailed picture in your head of what he was talking about. "You'd like it if I took you home and fucked you like the little slut you are," he said, letting his hand rest against your throat, squeezing just enough to feel good but not enough to cause any serious harm.

You nodded in response, letting your body fall back against the desk so you could use your hands to hold your thighs open. "Yes, sir, I'd like that very much." You whined.

Changkyun wasted no time as he snapped his hips into you at a rapid pace, leaning his body against yours so you were eye to eye. The way his body pinned you in place prevented you from arching your back while simultaneously forcing your legs to rest themselves against his shoulders, allowing him to pound deeper into your walls.

You couldn't help the loud moans that came out of your mouth as his tip brutally hit your sweet spot. His hand moved from your throat to slip his fingers into your mouth, muffling any noises that escaped your lips.

"Be quiet, princess; you don't want anyone to catch us now, do you?" He asked, and his question, along with the taste of your slick still on his fingers, caused a whimper to fall from your lips. You shook your head, and the sight of you tasting yourself on Changkyun's fingers caused his dick to twitch inside you.

Only when he thought you were capable of controlling your sounds did he remove his fingers from your mouth, this time gripping at your jaw just as he had done earlier.

"I bet you let all your professors slut you out like this, don't you?" He taunted, angling his hips so every thrust would push the head of his cock against the bundle of nerves that had you seeing stars each time it was hit. His hand keeping a firm grasp on your chin prevented you from shaking your head in protest; he took this opportunity to spit into your mouth to further humiliate you.

His words and the act of him spitting into your mouth went right to your core, and your walls began to contract around his cock.

"N-No sir! J-Just you—fuck, I'm so close," you moaned, digging your heels into his shoulder blades in attempts to pull him closer. You reached back to grip the edge of the desk, effectively pushing the ungraded papers onto the floor.

"Go ahead, princess, cum on my cock," he panted, feeling the knot in his stomach begin to tighten as well. He propped himself up on his hands to give himself more leverage, his thrusts going deeper and harder than they had been previously.

It took a few more harsh thrusts on his end before the coil in your stomach snapped and you were sent over the edge. Your hand clamped itself over your mouth to muffle the wanton moan that escaped your throat as you felt your hole flutter against his cock and your arousal slowly ran down Changkyun's cock. You were positive he would have a stain there afterwards.

The tight grip your walls used to hold Changkyun in was enough for him to fall over the edge, a soft whimper escaping his mouth as he finished. He thrust his cum back into you a few times as he rode out his orgasm, his thrusts coming to a full stop, and he caught his breath before pulling out. He watched as his cum dripped out of your hole and down the side of his desk.

"Here," Changkyun said, handing you a water bottle as he helped you sit up. You weren't sure when he'd walked away, but he had already cleaned himself and adjusted his pants. You winced as you sat up, taking the water bottle from him.

"Thank you," you said as you opened the bottle, taking a sip. You watched as Changkyun gently wiped you clean with a few tissues he had taken from the box that surprisingly didn't fall.

He tossed the soiled tissues into the trash can beside his desk before he leaned in to whisper into your ear.

"I expect you to pick those papers up, and I was serious about taking you back to my place."

[heaven4lostgirls]

HI I WAS READING YOUR BARTY CROUCH JR X RAEDER FICD 2HOCH ARE SO SO SO GOOD BTW LIKE I THINKI UR MY FAVORITE WRITER FOR HIM BUT I CANT STOP BEING SAD ABOUT THE PT 2 ANGST FIC CAN I PLS IF YOUR ALRIGHT WIYH IT REQUEST A PART 3 WITH A HPPY ENDING? IF YOUR COOL ONLY ONVIOUSKY TYSM <333

pairing: barty crouch jr x reader

warnings: none i think??

a/n: this was in my inbox forever and i’ve been trying to clear it out so here we go! i hope this is what you wanted<3

word count: 932

most of your day had usually revolved around barty, you weren’t really sure what to do with yourself now that you didn’t have such an integral part of yourself.

he was always there even when he wasn’t wanted or noticed, looking out for you, waiting for you. many people just assumed your relationship could be taken at face value but in reality so much of what you both had gone through together had shaped and molded you both into better partners for one another.

realistically you knew that you were a bit dramatic about the breakup but barty using a slur against you in a serious argument was always something you had never thought about, whether he meant it or not you knew you made the right decision.

however you also knew you owed it to him to let him explain himself.

barty had been watching you for the past week for any signs of pain or really any negative feeling regarding your breakup but from what he had seen you had been going to your classes and acting as though it was any other day.

barty on the other hand struggled to get out of bed, he had barely eaten and he had regulus and evan on his back about attending death eater meetings after school since he no longer had you holding him back from his “true calling”

he knew it was bullshit, he knew that evan and regulus thought it was bullshit too, he could never say that though, his entire future was riding on this, if he couldn’t make it into the dark lord’s inner circle, he would never be able to protect you.

his father could only do so little and even so, he was never cared for as a son in his father’s home. he had nowhere to turn to and he now had to live with the consequences of his own actions.

the weight of losing you weighed heavy on his mind as he went on about his day until he could no longer bear the thought of you moving on or even frankly being okay with him being gone.

he enlisted the help of evan and regulus and with the three of them, regulus was able to get a small 3 bedroom flat just outside of hogsmead for himself, evan and reg to stay in.

because they hadn’t gotten their dark marks yet and weren’t due for another year, they would be able to hide for the time being until they could get in contact with the marauders from reg’s knowledge knew were in the order of the phoenix.

with his plan in motion barty had one focus, winning you back. the only way he could think of getting you to even talk to him was to catch you at the astronomy tower at night.

normally the both of you would gaze at the stars in silence, both having struggled with falling asleep it seemed like the wiser option rather than being alone.

his footsteps were light however you still turned around at the noise of the door opening, you slightly roll your eyes as you move to gather your things to leave.

“wait!” barty says quickly as he moves towards you, you can only look at him in annoyance before he whispers “please..” and his docile tone makes you soften your gaze as you nod quickly and sit back down.

he quickly takes his seat next to you, however making a conscious effort to leave a small gap inbetween the both of you out of respect.

“what do you want crouch?” you grumble as you look at the constellations, he winced inwardly at the use of his last name, you’d never used that name before, not even when you were both just friends.

“don’t call me that” he replies with a sorrowful tone and all you can do is laugh hollowly before stating “the same way you called me a mudblood without hesitation?” you retort.

his face drops and he nods before looking down at his lap, “i’m sorry y/n. i am, really” he starts as you scoff.

“i was scared, following the dark lord seemed like the only way forward for me, my father doesn’t care about what happens to me after hogwarts as long as i keep his name clean and work for the ministry, at least with the dark lord i had a chance of actually being something, meaning something” he says truthfully and you can’t help but feeling sorry for not noticing this before.

“i didn’t mean for it to get out of hand, i promise i didn’t, i just wanted to keep you safe, i figured if i was fighting on the side of the dark lord, i’d be able to keep you safe but the only thing it did was make me lose you” his voice breaks and you hesitantly life your hand to place on his.

“i only wanted to keep you safe, i wouldn’t be able to survive without you, there’s nothing worth living if not for you.” he says earnestly and your heart thumps in your chest

“god you idiot why didn’t you just say this before we fought over it” you say with a teary smile on your face.

“does this mean you forgive me?” he asks hopefully and you nod a little bit before he’s already crushing you into a tight hug.

“the easiest thing i’ve ever done is love you, i don’t think i could ever live with myself if i were to lose you” he mutters into your hair.

[lordbloodravenn]

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON, SEASON 2 EPISODE ONE: A SON FOR A SON. (‘Rewrite’)

I am taking it upon myself to ‘rewrite’ or alter the episodes so far. I won't stray so far from the original that it becomes an entire fanfiction, as I don't have the time to devote to such an endeavour. However, certain scenes in this adaptation by Condal have not sat right with me. This is all my personal opinion. I'm open to debate, but I'm not here to start any arguments.

Without further ado, let us begin:

Similarly to the original episode, we will start at the Wall, where Cregan explains the North’s duty. Although I would love to explore Jacaerys’ time in Winterfell, sticking to the show's timeline and pacing makes this infeasible. Therefore, this scene will play out mostly the same, with an added dialogue piece. Jacaerys reminds Cregan that House Stark swore an oath but, understanding his foremost duty is to the North, he proposes a marriage between Cregan’s future children and Jacaerys’ future heir. This ensures that the North's duties and agenda can one day be wholly understood by the Iron Throne. Cregan then pledges his Greybeards and agrees to support the Blacks in whatever way he can once he has seen to the harvest and ensured the Wall is as secure as possible. The scene ends with the arrival of the ravens.

Daemon’s spiralling was entertaining to watch, as was his insistence they go and kill Vhagar. I shan’t be changing this scene. It solidifies the threat Vhagar poses, showing that even Daemon, a rogue and impulsive man, will not face her alone.

The next scene with Corlys at the docks on Driftmark remains largely unchanged. However, I found the knife scene tacky; it was unclear when he had the gift forged for Lucerys. Was it during the war while grieving his son or when he was wounded? The show writers wanted us to mourn for Lucerys, but it was nonsensical considering Corlys’ activities over the past few years.

In King’s Landing, we begin with Aegon searching for Jaehaerys in Helaena’s chambers. Their exchange is similar, with Helaena expressing her fear regarding the rats.

Here is where my first decisive change occurs. Rather than skipping to the Alicent and Criston scene, we move to the library where Aegon is collecting his son. Aegon expresses to little Jaehaerys, who is fixated on his tutor and hesitant to leave with Aegon, that he is his heir. There’s a deep, unspoken worry in Aegon's eyes. He does not want Jaehaerys to feel unwanted, unworthy, and underprepared as he does. He starts by somewhat expressing this, trying to tell the boy it’s his duty, but he struggles with the concept himself. He then tells Jaehaerys that he wants him there, that a father relies on his son and heir, and that it shall be good fun; it’s a more playful encounter than the sombre beginning with Aegon thinking about Viserys initially.

Finally, we are in the Small Council scene, only the Lord Commander and Queen are missing. Each arrives late, and Otto eyes them suspiciously. The two (Criston and Alicent) briefly glare at each other guiltily, hinting at an encounter rather than showing it. We’re building to the idea that something is going on between them. The council scene plays out mostly the same. Aegon is trying desperately to seem kingly while also falling into neglectful habits, playing with Jaehaerys. I position Jaehaerys to start on his father’s knee, playing with Aegon’s council ball. He then wanders to our Lannister, and that scene plays out the same. (I’m giving us more time with Jaehaerys and more interaction between the family. I believe B&C lacked impact due to this.)

Following the meeting, we will see the Alicent and Larys encounter play out. He implies Alicent was indisposed (with Criston earlier), but we still have no confirmation. Rather than bathing, we see Alicent sit down to write another letter to Dragonstone. She sends her servants away, feeling they are watching her on Larys’ behalf. She scrunches up the letter in the end, and her scene ends with her staring at her bed, with something guilty in her eyes.

The next scene plays out the same; Lucerys' clothing and Arrax’s wing are found. This scene was fine.

The petitions scene was enjoyable and does not require change, nor does the exchange with Lord Larys and Aegon. Similarly, Alicent’s exchange with Otto need not be changed; it was politically centred and in touch with the politically rooted conversations that I believe made AGOT so enjoyable. I don’t believe the ‘white worm’s’ discovery aboard the ship or the black queen’s return to Dragonstone would benefit from a rewrite. Nor would the ‘I want Aemond Targaryen’ line or Jacaerys’ emotional scene.

The funeral scene is our next change. Alicent lights her candles, and soon after she lights her candle for Lucerys, we hear footsteps behind her. It is Criston, her sworn protector. He kneels beside her and bids her leave to seek forgiveness from the Gods. She suggests they should both atone, and then the scene ends.

Daemon gets his information in the same manner, promising Mysaria’s release.

Rather than beginning with Daemon rowing into King’s Landing, we are back with Aegon and Helaena. He bids his sister to have Jaehaerys’s nursemaid bring him to the Small Council again. He will not be deterred by the antics from the previous session. Helaena nods. Aegon then tells her that he has ordered additional rat catchers to scour the castle for the supposed rats she fears. He bids his children, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, goodnight (I would love to write Maelor back in, but then I’m stepping into entire rewrite territory.) We see Aegon leave, and then we see Daemon row into King’s Landing and employ Blood and Cheese. They discuss that their target is Aemond.

The next scene shows Ser Criston in his chambers, pacing the floor. He’s staring at his white cloak laid across his bed. He then kneels before it and begins flagellating himself. He begs the Mother’s forgiveness, the Father’s forgiveness, and the Maid’s. We see he feels deeply guilty for something.

We move to Alicent’s chambers with Helaena entering them with the children, as is their custom. She looks at the door only for a brief moment, where Criston is absent. Alicent begins reading to the children. Helaena is quite nervous and questions Ser Criston’s absence from her door. Alicent informs her that Ser Criston shall be along shortly, as the Lord Commander has many duties to attend to.

Blood and Cheese finally get their scene. They walk through the tunnels with the dog. They come across the king and make it to the passageways. They do not make it to Aemond’s room. Voices can be heard through the walls. Unclear and muffled voices, but one says a name: Aemond. That is enough to open this passage. Cheese points and whispers, "This is the one."

Criston is now in Aemond’s chambers. The two are plotting when Otto enters. We ensure Otto says Aemond’s name to throw off the viewers.

Back in Alicent’s chambers with Helaena, they’re still reading. Then the passage opens (They have entered the wrong chamber but cannot take it back). Blood and Cheese play out with Alicent being grabbed, Helaena too. Alicent is bound and gagged first. The show's unusual choice to make Jaehaera and Jaehaerys indistinguishable plays out the same. Helaena offers her necklace, then her life. Alicent’s muffled cries earn her a kick from Blood. Helaena is still pleading; Alicent is still crying. "Choose, or they both die," Blood declares. "A son for a son, and the prince will have his debt paid one way or another." Helaena finally points. She falls to the floor as Cheese releases her. Then comes the slicing. As the head is separated, Helaena crawls to her daughter and grabs her, running from the room. She runs into Criston Cole, who is finally about to assume his post. "They killed him, they killed my boy," she says, broken but with glassy and unsure eyes. She collapses and cries, still cradling her daughter. The episode is done.

This isn’t perfect. I tried to keep it similar to the show, with slower pacing. I aimed to maintain a little mystery and build-up, I guess. Should I do the next three episodes or not?

[naisaspalace]

TAROT READING WHATS COMING TO ME AROUND MARCH?

<pick the pile with your moon sign or whichever you feel attracted towards>

<

pile 1 or water signs - cancer, scorpio and pisces

hii water signs i see that on the past you had a goal and you had the power to achieve such goal but instead you ended up not making a move and was left contemplating what you had achieve before i also see that you still have some kind of emotional trauma regarding this situation you had power to change and that might be why you choose to not make any move tho i believe that you dont appreciate much of what you currently have. now i see that you have this new begging and new opportunity and that is a new partnership but my advice is that you have to work with caution and dont focus on the end goal right now dont focus about the celebration focus on the work!! because thats what matters. for the future theres a new beginning to happen and a new journey and i am here to tell you to try your best to focus on the present even tho your emotions will be hurting please do your best and beware of impostor syndrome!!! okay you can do it please believe on yourself.

specifics : signs: cancer, capricorn , pisces , aquarius , scorpio , libra and sagittarius . planets: jupiter , mars , moon , sun , mercury and venus.

pile 2 or air signs - libra , aquarius and gemini.

ooh air signs this is going to be the biggest reading ive ever done before theres so much messages here and first i want to start by saying that i hope that all of you get better eventually okay now lets start (with the past first ) i see that some much has happened to yall like too much emotional trauma and betrayal and yet you are still here and honey i am here to tell you to remember how strong you are okay please remember okay secondly i am seeing that you got you are someone who is emotionally trapped within your limiting believes and thats why you found yourself between relationships that are not worthy of you at the same time due to both external and internal turbulence you are feeling confused and tired and emotional exhausted and i saw that feels pressured to get the approval of others and your decisions are made by your desired to feel this emotional need of approval and dear i know its not simple but we must approve ourselves and we must like us and its a hard thing to do when you are emotionally sad but this is the path to happiness start with little by little but start to love yourself okay. now with the current situation i see that things are shifting from a situation where you well you behaved without control and organization and lack of discipline and the cards are telling me that you must wait the divine timing for things to happen you must stop and wait and while you wait you must look inside yourself and trust tour intuition and work on embracing Vulnerability and start to look inside of you for the answers you seek to find, and start to lead your own life and destiny even tho you might have lost the energy or the desire to keep fighting because if you dont believe in yourself you will lose so many opportunities you need to make effort and search for something that can give you the desire to keep it going and you will need to make a extra effort to be able to move forward dear but thats life okay please dont give up because success takes so much time but everything will work out on the end. and now for the future i see that yes you are still have some struggles specially to manifest your desires because you are changing paths and trying to have discipline and you still have emotional immaturity but as i said before things take time please dont lose your hopes and focus and the necessity to change your thoughts try to meditate because your thoughts are the reason to everything you need to control your mind even tho there is so much pain and sorrow inside your mind you must face it and let yourself free and i also want to advice you to not take too many responsibilities think before making plans and promises dont take too much on yourself especially when you're feeling that emotionally hurt but this will eventually leave you to a better place where those pains are not longer with you and you'll be set free BEWARE to not talk without thinking and also dont act without thinking and also you need to find your inspiration to be able to achieve your goals my dear keep looking for it! but yes changes and progress are going to take time. you must decide what you want and how you want to be able to get the results you must let stuff go and unfortunately doesn't matter how much ambition and courage you have if you are not ready to move on then im sorry its only going to take more time you need hard work discipline and balance to achieve stuff.

specifics: signs: capricorn , taurus , cancer , gemini , libra , leo , scorpio , pisces, sagittarius , virgo , aquarius planets: mars , mercury , moon , venus , sun , jupiter , saturn

damn that was long.

pile 3 or earth signs - capricorn , virgo and taurus.

oh hi damn earth signs just like air signs there is too much going on here for yall so lets go. start with the past okay the cards are telling me that you faced a situation where you felt disconnected from your surroundings and from your social group that led you too feel like introverted and felt lost without knowing what to do because maybe you are someone who often rely on people to take the decisions from you and now that you're more quiet you feel afraid to take risks alone because you are someone who have problems controlling yourself and lack self direction therefore you decided to rely on others to life your life better or at least safe enough but that actually delayed your life for a while in fact for a way long time. now for the current situation i see that you might have stopped or at least is trying to stop to see if this can help the pain go away HOWERVER you need to really think through this whole situation because you often have a habit of running from your emotions and now its not a time for this and you need to rebuild yourself you need to become this new person this organized and disciplined person you need to be a better person to yourself even if you are feeling like you dont want to take this step solo after all this is a personal celebration so dont worry about others worry this change will be celebrated alone and in the right time because right now we are focus on the changes you have to make, good luck and dont give up keep strong and keep planting to see a better life growing for you. now for the future i see that well i see that for the beginning of the path you will still face blockage of manifestations because its only the start of your changes and i want to tell you that please dont give up there are times when times first start being bad to end up good later on and you need to face your fears because i see that you are scared of facing yourself and your life problems but theres not other solution okay thats how life is and i see that you might have to distance yourself from relationships because you will be facing a lot of mistrust issues but this situation will lead you to meat a new person who you will actually feel better with but dont worry i see that this time you will end up embracing the unknown and you actually feel better BUT i see that you will feel as if this person is manipulating you or this might just be something from your imagination therefore i highly recommend that you communicate with this person to fix things out in the end its all up to you how you will shape your reality because you have the necessary skills to make it happen and yes there will require hard work but dear everything requires hard work nowadays you need to use both your intelligence and emotions to give you a HUGE transformation that will be tough really tough and now its the time to use your amazing analytical skills and RESIST THE TEMPTATIONS resist them and WIN guarantee your future victory!!! create your better life by destroying what is bad for you face your fears and win thats your solution.

can also resonate with: signs: capricorn ,aquarius, pisces, [[Sagittarius]] , scorpio , gemini , aries ,cancer, libra, aries planets: mars, jupiter , mercury , saturn , moon , venus.

pile 4 or fire signs - aries , leo and sagittarius.

wow fire signs omg what happened with yall? like without a joke omg lets start wth the past okay i see that theres so many mixed emotions here and there was a lot of nightmares going on and a lot of turbulences especially regarding a partner there was this connection yet you were feeling without power and the was as a lot of illusions within this relationship but the problem was that you were resisting change and only going by faith and dear this lead you to nowhere because you needed to make a decision you need to make a move but you didnt and therefore you arrived at the defeat point therefore both of you decided to separe yet he ended up running to be more distant from you and then you started to balance yourself your life and found a place to be where you would heal yet you couldn't make a choice to leave this situation or to try again. and now i see that you're fighting with ambition to arrive at a better place now you have strenght and you feel strong enough but tough times are arriving and i want you to never lose faith on yourself again because this is all that you need to win and i am here to tell you that you need to focus on yourself only thats all you need to be doing and i know that right now you dont feel satisfied emotionally and i feel thats something that i will take a while to change so keep it strong and do the best to find a motivation. now for the future i see that unfortunately it will be a more of a difficult time with yall fire signs because yall like social life and to be around people but this will be a time where your mind will no be making the right choices and all that i see is that you must be alone and refusing to socialize until your mind is on the right place for you to protect yourself dont forget that you have this beautiful aura and that you are beautiful from within and please do everything u can to make the right choices fire signs good luck.

can also resonate with: signs: aquarius, scorpio , taurus, virgo , libra planets: sun, saturn , mercury , venus , mars.

thank you so much for reading i hope i was able to help someone.

linktree.

twitter.

[lost-art-of-world-domination]

What are your thoughts on Winter? Especially in regards to how her dynamic with Valkyrie has changed. I dunno, some aspects of that were pretty interesting to me

What a good ask! I agree, there are some very interesting aspects to Winter! I really enjoyed her inclusion in the book. Spoilers for A Mind Full of Murder to come, in case anyone hasn’t read it.

I’m not going to pretend I immediately called Winter being Alice, and I think the surprise was very well done, but I did have my suspicions after her “Not any more” line about evil in her family.

Winter Grieving is a name that is almost laughable in its edginess, but for a jaded teen such as Winter it does suit, and I like that it’s something more complex and unique than “Malice” (even though I liked that character).

I also really appreciated Winter’s whole perspective on Valkyrie. She’s rather practical, and won’t ignore her sister at her own risk, such as asking her for help at the end of the book, but I like that, in a way that seems like she can’t even help it, some part of her hates Val.

I like that it’s not necessarily a view we can support, but one definitely understandable given the character and what’s occurred. It reminds me a bit of Auger’s doubt over his future once the prophecy was complete. It’s an interesting question of what a Chosen One does once what they’ve been Chosen for either happens or falls through- whether that’s as a hero or a world-ender.

What Val did was obviously entirely a selfless act of sacrifice and love for her sister, and I like that Landy doesn’t undercut that decision, but simply acknowledges that even an act such as that can have unintended consequences, especially with where it leaves Winter.

Also I like that Winter is jaded, but not cartoonishly evil, and instead, like a lot of teens, vulnerable to bad influences such as the anti-mortal movement in order to deal with their own issues. This is obviously only worsened by having such a famous sibling, and it makes sense for Winter to be lashing out a bit to cope with being in Val’s shadow. It’s subtle and concerning for a character we’ve seen since she was a baby, but I’m excited to see where it goes. Although one thing that didn’t really work is that final moment. Fine on its own and in the context of Winter’s story, but as the end to the whole book it fell a little flat.

One element of Winter’s story I also like is how, from Valkyrie’s side, there’s just a bit of a wall with her younger sister who she used to be so close with, which again is the kind of realistic touch that makes the magical world of Skulduggery Pleasant work so well. It’s also tragic for Melissa and Desmond, who should never have to experience anything bad ever.

One last note I like about Winter is her burgeoning magical skill. She’s not super powerful yet, as evidenced by her struggling with the classic fear vs magic problem we see lots of young sorcerers tackle, but she’s shown some elemental powers and, especially interesting, some pretty solid teleportation. Sure it was just from the ground floor through a window, but it’s been made clear how difficult a skill this is for any sorcerer.

So overall, really interesting character and story, and I can’t wait to see more of Winter and her arc and relationships in the books to come.

[cowboyjen68]

I’m sorry if this is a strange thing to ask advice about. I’m certain I’m a lesbian, it feels correct. It’s what makes most sense to me given everything I know about myself since I was a girl who didn’t understand these things. But I keep feeling like I should try it out with a man before calling myself a lesbian. Like I have to check it off the list. But when it gets down to it I freak out and don’t want to anymore. I think what I’m trying to do is see if I can endure it because being with men would just be more practical for me. Although I get the sense that I only feel this way because deep down I don’t want to be a lesbian. Is there a way for me to be satisfied with the fact that I’m a lesbian? Maybe being with a man will be as awful as I imagine it to be that I’ll stop moping and wishing I was straight. I guess I just wish I could have the strength and motivation it takes to deal with what I don’t like about the lgbt community and what I don’t like about family expectations of who I’m supposed to be and still be content with being a lesbian anyway. What if I’m never happy? I might not be into men, but my family would be thrilled to see me with a boyfriend and maayyybe my life would be happier. I’m sooo sorry I made your read this, but I’m trying to be honest. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore!

The good news is, whether you are a lesbian or not, all of these conflicts are being prompted by outside influences, as you mentioned: Family, LGBT community etc. General society has an effect on us even if we think we are able to subvert it by being aware of the expectations of us as women. Knowing a problem exists does not give us the solution. 

Why is this good news?  Because fixing internal struggles can be helped greatly by  learning how to filter the outside noise as it applies to you. You can learn tools to navigate all the societal junk surrounding you, Humans are naturally built to do so. We all live in a world where we rely on information from our culture to figure out life goals, expectations to get along in our environment and acceptable behavior (ie manners)  so I believe we have some natural ability to take what is around us and shape it into what fits us as much as we are shaped by it. We are not just puppets of our environment or we would all be just exactly the same as our regional friends and family. Clearly that is not the case in the real world.

At the end of each day, at the times in your life when you are alone, whether for a minute or hours or days, you are always with yourself. Happiness is a gift you deserve and you are responsible for giving it to yourself. If you are not happy with a man and you are not happy with a woman you still have yourself. Happiness can occur outside of any relationship. 

When I was young, teens and early 20’s I knew I liked women. I was almost 100 percent sure that I was a lesbian but, at the time, would never have admitted I was 100 percent. There was always some doubt that I was just unsure or misreading or lacking some important experience that would cause a light bulb to go off and I would be straight. Maybe it was youth, maybe it was curiosity, maybe it was desperation to not want to be a lesbian. 

So I dated and had sex with the nicest man I could find. It was… something I did and that was that. I was not traumatized. We dated for maybe two weeks and slept together a handful of times. Each time I was disillusioned that it was okay to meh. Definitely nothing like the movies, TV and love songs made it out to be. Just something that we did and it was not miserable but not fulfilling. IT was not that it made me sure I was a lesbian but it forced me to begin to accept that I was and I needed to readjust my goals and the future I saw for myself. 

I do not recommend sleeping with some dude to force a decision on yourself regarding your sexuality. It is an unnecessary action.

While I don’t regret something that I consider just a youthful experience, if I could go back and give myself  advice it would be to date who I wanted and to have sex when it felt exciting and I was enthusiastic about my partner, whether that be a one night stand or someone I wanted to pursue a relationship with and not with whom I thought I was “supposed” to be attracted to. 

You owe nothing to your family when it comes to your happiness and fulfillment. You only get ONE Life and it does not belong to them.  You can do everything “right” according to what they think they want and they could still be disappointed so instead focus on you, and let them decide if they want to embrace living your best life or not. I can tell you, most parents say a lot of stupid stuff but when it comes to real life they are happy to know their child is happy. 

Being a lesbian is beautiful and natural. Connecting sexually, emotionally and intellectually with the right woman (women) is something well worth walking through the gauntlet of external and internalized homophobia and I say this from experience. Denying yourself of that possibility is neither healthy nor will it benefit you in the long run. 

Being same sex attracted is not an easy road in this world and I won’t tell you it is but it can get easier if you seek others who share your attraction. Find other lesbians or bi women to befriend, read a bit about our history and seek out the stories of those who have been where you are and came out the other side to be proud, healthy, happy lesbians (You found me out in the internet ether so you recognize that something about me resonates with you). 

You will be okay and eventually (it does take time) you will have lesbian friends who can show you all the ways lesbians can and do exist so you won’t have to feel constrained to stereotypes or just another set of expectations that don’t fit your personality.

[protoslacker]

Facing History

Outside, baptisms, weddings and funerals I haven't attended church my entire adult life. I haven't lived in the South since I was 16. Nevertheless both the Episcopal Church and the South are part of my identity.

Recently I dove head first down a rabbit hole on the subject of John Henry Hopkins: ironmonger, musician, lawyer, theologian, architect and the eighth Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church. He was an important figure in local Pittsburgh history, which I hadn't known before. There were many connections to make which had me clicking from article to article. And then I landed on an article by Woody Register, In Their Own Words: An introduction John Henry Hopkins--first Bishop of Vermont, artist and architect, and defender of slavery, which put a damper on the hagiography of Hopkins emerging in my brain.

The article was in Meridiana: The Blog of the Roberson Project on Slavery, Race, and Reconciliation at Sewanee. Many of the most influential people in my young life had attended Sewanee:The University of the South. My attention shifted from john Henry Hopkins to The Roberson Project.

"The Roberson Project on Slavery, Race and Reconciliation at the University of the South is a six-year initiative investigating the university's historical entanglements with slavery and slavery's legacy."

I spend way too much time at Youtube and it seems that I can't view a video without viewing a commercial for Hillsdale College. I wonder if that's because Google's algorithm "knows" those commercials particularly aggravate me--high engagement--or whether every American must see those damnable commercials? Anyhow Hillsdale's 1776 Curriculum (paywall at NY Review of Books. This article at Brown Political Review is open.) is in sharp contrast to Sewanne's approach to history. What's especially important about the differences is the view of the present and towards the future.

Emptywheel is a favorite blog. On the weekends Ed Walker writes posts that are a bit like a book discussion forum. Recently he did a series on the reconstruction era. In the last post in that series he noted that in his education as a young person that he had " no memory of any of the history I’ve discussed in this series." There's a concerted effort to ensure that students today be ignorant about our history of legally enforced and violently imposed racial segregation. A rational for much of the current "anti-woke" legislation is to save white children from discomfort. I was struck by the anger Walker felt in uncovering the history. Surely some students today will be enraged discovering what was hidden from them in school.

The Civil Rights Movement forced a paradigm change about race. And the struggle continues. Hiding that knowledge from children is madness.

Blundering around Sewanee's Website I read a profile of the first Black graduate of the College of Arts & Sciences, Nathaniel “Bubba” Owens, class of 1970. In 1966 the year Owens enrolled, the Episcopal school I attended had to confront how to respond to segregation.The school decided to enroll Black student beginning in kindergarten. A decision that seems "weak sauce" but is more significant when taking into account the proliferation of "Christian" schools in the South in response to court-ordered school desegregation. There were close associations between my school and Sewanee. I'm pretty confident the Black football player at Sewanee was known to some of the folks trying to forge a path for my old school.

The Robeson Project is named for Houston Roberson the first African American to earn tenure at the University of the South. Robertson died too young and was clearly well regarded at the University. But the naming the project for him points to a fundamental change in perspective. In 2009 he wrote an essay for the University's sesquicentennial volume.

"Dr. Roberson sought to show that African Americans, race, and racial conflict were “not a ‘Negro’ problem but an American problem.” Likewise, the history of slavery and its legacies at the University of the South is “not a ‘Negro’ problem,” but a Sewanee problem."

White Americans facing this country's history is something to celebrate. Not in a "that's mighty white" sense of goodness and righteousness. But in the more practical sense that the possibility of reconciliation and justice require a foundation of truth.

[violetsiren90]

Okay, I'm going to make a little speech here regarding a difficult ask I have received today and then move on permanently from this topic, because while I believe in addressing anything once in the interest of understanding I will not repeatedly defend myself on this topic because no one should have to:

{Trigger warnings: sexual identity being challenged; discussions of writing smut and other aspects of human relationships}

An anon dropped into my inbox and challenged my sexual identity this afternoon. I decided not to answer their asks directly or publicly because I didn't want to encourage interaction, however, I wanted to put a PSA out here just the once to hopefully deter anyone from doing this in the future (to myself or anyone else) even if intentions were not malicious.

Note: I do not think this anon was the same anon as the ones I have been interacting with today on my page, so no hate toward them, please. <3

I am very new here, and I only have two small one-shots and a teaser for a WIP up on my page. I also identify the fact that I am bisexual in my bio. An anon sent me an ask today that asked why I only write m/f relationships if I am, in fact, bi, and said that pretending to be bi was not necessary to "fit in" here if I was in fact straight.

Firstly, two of my works are m/f, but one of my one-shots is gender neutral, which was a decision consciously made for the sake of inclusivity (which will always be important to me).

However, as a female-identifying AFAB human being, I find writing readers of the same gender as myself more naturally accessible and so easier. In addition, I am also writing fan fiction where my MC's are paired with Bangtan...who are, as far as they have revealed to us, male-identifying AMAB human beings (though writing them otherwise is also absolutely fine!). These are going to look a lot like hetero relationships if no further details are given. I really try to make my MC's for reader inserts as relatable as possible, and this extends to gender identity and sexual orientation - so if no assignment at birth or sexual orientation has been mentioned, it is because I really desire for readers to have the freedom to relate! You want to imagine Reader is bi, pan, MTF trans, ect? Hopefully you feel free to do so! But remember that what you don't see isn't an indicator of what is not true, rather a space for everyone to bring their own identifiers more fully and richly to the table! 😀

Additionally, I do have a specifically bi MC in the works for one of my reader insert fics, but I actually don't know when and if I will share her because writing her has been very difficult for me having touched on some of the personal struggles I have faced as I have been shaping her and the plot around her.

Secondly, my writings are not definitive of me or my life experiences, they are works of fiction and meant for fun!

I didn't have to share that I was bi on my page. I didn't have to post my works. But generally, I wear my heart on my sleeve. It's who I am, and I want to love who I am and share who I am, both in my person and my works! What I ask for is acceptance in both, should you choose to interact. 💜

Thirdly, what people write and don't write can be very personal - however, remember that reception of writing is also highly subjective, and that as a reader, one brings one's own perspective to what is being shared upon consuming it.

On a final note, please don't challenge the truths about themselves people are kind enough to share with you! Many people are out there just trying to gather enough strength to say those words to the mirror. 💔 Lets make the world, or at very least the spaces we occupy, a place where those fears are unfounded.

If anyone is ever inclined to not read what I write for any reason, I am not offended. You control what you consume, and I support that for you. At the same time, I control what I produce, and I will do so with love and freedom, and being to mine own self true!

Thank you for reading my filibuster on the matter, and I love all of you, and I hope you all know you are worthy of love!

Have the most excellent of weekends!

[triviareads]

ARC Review of An Earl to Remember by Stacy Reid

Summary:

After being stiffed and nearly seduced by Daniel, the Earl of Stannis, Georgianna is shocked to see the same man wash up ashore in her small town, claiming not to remember who he is.... except he does remember Georgianna. To save her reputation and extract her revenge, she claims they're married and subjects Daniel to labor around her home and farm, all while slowly falling for him.

My review:

First off let me say, I appreciate that Stacy Reid made Daniel an unrepentant rake. You see the word thrown around a lot in historical romances, but very few HR heroes are actual rakes. Daniel here however has quite the reputation ("I heard he got three women pregnant from kissing alone!" one 21 year old said in a splendid imitation of me pre-5th grade health): He's getting ready for a foursome when Georgianna accidentally walks in on him naked, has no qualms about seducing The Help (though it is a bit ham-handed of him to immediately ask Georgianna if she likes being chased lolol), and perhaps most importantly, has no issues asking Georgianna to be his mistress RIGHT AFTER he announces he will marry a more appropriate woman. I'll admit, a lot of what made Daniel an enjoyable hero for me is a) his natural sex appeal even when he was pretty pathetic and b) his more "problematic" behavior.

I'm equally appreciative of Stacy Reid making the heroine Georgianna problematic in her own way; the premise that she took advantage of an amnesiac and made him do farm labor definitely qualifies in my opinion (it also reminded me of the plot of Once More, My Darling Rogue by Lorraine Heath). And sure, I did sympathize with her because she was stiffed by the earl (though there's a careful distinction that's made in that the earl's vengeful mistress had a hand in this... but why Daniel believes her to begin with is questionable imo), because of her family's financial situation, and her inability to make her catering dreams realized while still being seen as "respectable". But ultimately, Georgianna did a questionable thing. Did this detract from me liking her as a heroine? Nope.

A lot of the plot is mostly character-driven: Georgianna feels guilty about her actions even as she's very attracted to Daniel, and Daniel experiences character growth via farm work and being around Georgianna's sisters, all while struggling to regain his memory. Things pick up in the last quarter once Daniel regains his memory, which interestingly, happens earlier than I thought it would. I actually think this made the plot more compelling (especially since Daniel's not done making questionable decisions regarding Georgianna; see: their "you'll be my little village wife" era).

The sex:

Daniel gives classic rake sex; For me, this means well-written sex scenes with a decent amount of dirty talk, with nothing extremely unique or out there in terms of sex. He has this sensual presence and he's very persistent, particularly when Georgianna is perpetually waffling between guilt and attraction. Here's what worked for me:

a) Daniel's general confusion about how him and Georgianna haven't had sex if they're married. Like, this is a man who wakes up after being knocked out by the sea and the FIRST words out of his mouth when he sees Georgianna are "I've tasted you". He may have forgotten who he was, but he knows in his bones that he's a slutty slutty man and therefore, how has he not... fucked his own wife? Right?

b) Daniel has what initially seemed like amnesia-induced headaches except he realizes they happen a lot when he's hard so..... they're horny headaches? blue ball headaches? I don't know but I found that hilarious.

c) The inexplicable (yet somehow inevitable) wife kink Daniel develops, to the point where he's rejected any idea of marriage in his and Georgianna's future, but he's STILL calling her his wife while they fuck and Georgianna is totally down.

Overall:

I enjoyed An Earl to Remember for the most part. Stacy Reid did a solid job with the main characters Daniel and Georgianna, who did a lot for me in terms of bringing the drama, and I'd overall recommend the book.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you to Entangled Publishing for this ARC.

[outrunningthedark]

Silly question, but do you think the main characters' sort-of reconciliation with their parents will lessen the value of the group's "found family" aspect in the future, or the firefam's dysfunctional family relationships were for early emphasis that the bond they have with each other is stronger than blood ties?

IMO, there's been no evidence to suggest (or outright confirm) that "reconciling" with bio parents will have any long-lasting effects as the weeks and months [and even years] progress. Maddie and Buck: It was a 'blink and you might miss it' moment, but Boston hinted at things not being so bad between Maddie and her parents despite no mention of/appearance by them after 4x05: Phillip emailed her to check in because Chim would call the Buckleys asking if they'd heard from their daughter; Chim wouldn't have done that if the lines of communication were no longer open. Did Maddie reach out to her mother during her struggles with PPD? No. She leaned on Chimney (and her little brother for a bit) and worked on rebuilding the life she wants for herself to get to where she is now. Buck, meanwhile, hasn't been in therapy on-screen post 4x05 and also hasn't discussed his mother or father with anybody despite Kristen's decision to have the parents try harder/be nicer (even if their effort rubs people the wrong way because parents don't usually say *exactly* what kids want to hear). Were the parents meant to "replace" his dependency on Bobby as a father figure, we would have seen them become more of a consistent presence through phone calls (even if we only know who's on the phone because of what Buck says) or relaying of info. The parents have been putting in the work for two years - but that doesn't mean Maddie and Buck are wrong for still expecting something to set them off - and the standard dynamics have remained intact. It will be much of the same as this season continues, because even if Margaret and Phillip never leave Buck's bedside (we won't see that, though), they're still gonna go home once they know he's making a full recovery. With the way Kristen creates scenarios in her head and deems them irrelevant to the narrative, I'd be surprised if either parent is mentioned again before they're supposed to make another appearance. Chimney: Sang seems to have been brought back for Chim to get a story line to himself (prayers answered!), and *my* first thought when watching the episode live was that Sang is either feeling really, really guilty (Albert talking to them about seeing Jee-Yun and realizing what he's missing out on) OR Sang has gotten some unfortunate news regarding his health and he's wanting to "make amends" before he (potentially) passes away - He's going about it terribly, though! If Sang is meant to have limited time left, any "reconciliation" won't mean much in the long run when Chim can't reach out to his father for advice or help. If Sang's return is solely about the guilt, I expect him to get the same treatment as the Buckleys - Chim won't feel compelled to talk about his father unless it's because we're going to be seeing the Han family again. (And keep in mind that the show already does this with Albert, a character that actually served a purpose at one time...) You know what? I understand wanting to see kids cut their parents off - I'm sure it's what many people watching the show have done themselves or wish they had the strength to do - but if we remove the 'parent' and 'child' aspects of the story for a moment (bear with me)...the show has embraced the philosophy that forgiving someone doesn't mean you forget what they've done or have fully healed from their actions, it just means that you're no longer allowing that person to take up unnecessary space in your head and heart because they don't deserve to have such power over you. [And in the case of the Buckleys, forgiveness means that Margaret and Phillip no longer have an advantage. If your kids learn to NOT put up their defenses whenever you're around, you can't get under their easily as easily as before.] (This became an unintentional TL;DR. I'm so sorry.)