#and ending that sentence with “shame on you... do better...”

[vv-ispy]

it's a questionable idea on a level or two but. ya know what. I'll do it I'll write a post canon komahina story

[vegley]

hi guys i am pretty bored

[intromortal]

⭑ INCH BY INCH ⸻ park sunghoon

you have a boyfriend gifted with a pornstar cock, but he refuses to use it on you, too scared he'll end up hurting you. so your best shot is to devise a plan to get him to crumble, and even if things don't unfold quite as expected, what matters is the result anyway... right?

starring ⋆ f!reader x park sunghoon, besties!jaykewon

this work contains ⋆ smut ⋆ minors so not interact ⋆ barely any plot, way too much smut, sunghoon being diabolically hung, my extremely poor attempts at humor, established relationship, nasty nasty shit... brat tamer sunghoon, alcohol consumption, implied driving under the influence, jealousy, slut shaming (not from hoon), a tiny bit of violence, blood, size & bulge kink, fingering, dry humping, slight degradation, partially clothed sex, a freaky voice message, edging & overstim, oral (f!rec), mutual masturbation, lube, squirting, unprotected sex ⸻ rules m.list

length ⋆ one shot ⸻ 23.6k words

⭑ NIA ⸻ i'm in pain and my period is abt to start ANDD antibiotics fucked my stomach up so if you see typos no you don't. anyways. big fat cock. who agrees!! shoutout to my homies vivi and stella for putting up with my ass and deactivation threats anytime i write anything ever!!! and for having read this before anyone else

Having a dick so big multiple people suggest you make a career out of it isn't half as nice as it sounds, Sunghoon would know that better than anyone.

Even before getting any experience, he'd been aware of just how comically large his dick was. He'd known ever since he had to go out of his way to search for porn with ‘massive cock!’ in the title for it to look anything like his, and even then he often found himself thinking they had to be exaggerating a bit for the sake of clicks.

Turns out, the comparison with real life average sizes is even more ridiculous.

He knows it sounds silly, there are hordes of men out there that would pay good money to swap places with him—his dear friend Jake being the first in line.

Sunghoon still cringes when he remembers the first time he'd oh so innocently asked Jake for his opinion on the matter. Truthfully, all he wanted to hear from his bleached blonde friend was some reassurance, maybe how it was all in his head, or how at the end of the day the right person would love and appreciate every part of him no matter what, or whatever you tell people in situations like these. His first mistake was believing Jake out of all his friends would do the most tactful thing.

“That thing’s like—fucking huge!” Jake shrieked, grabbing Sunghoon’s phone out of his hands, every protest falling on deaf ears. “There’s no fucking way, man.”

“It’s not that b—” Sunghoon tries to speak, but Jake stops him before he even gets a sentence in, calling Jay’s name at the top of his lungs. 

“What are you—”

“WHAT,” Jay yells back from the kitchen, over the deafening sound of the food processor in use, annoyed by Jake’s continuous interruptions that day. Of which at least four were to show him some nasty looking recipe he found on tiktok.

“You gotta come take a look at this!”

At the time, Sunghoon was still vaguely uncomfortable around Jay. He was nice enough, and he was a great roommate, so there was that at least. It was a good trade off because the other option was staying at the way too crowded shitty dorms, and he liked the privacy that this deal got him. He wasn't always on board with it, Jake had to talk him into it when high school ended, but he swore him and Jay would be the bestest of friends if only he could let his reservations behind for a little, at least give him a chance.

Sunghoon moved away halfway through the second year of high school, and for a while it felt like Jay had swapped places with him and taken the life he was supposed to live for himself. First his best friend, Jake. Then the girl of his dreams, the one he never found the courage to confess to, you.

Thing is, while Sunghoon could recognize Jay had done absolutely nothing wrong to him per se, he still felt betrayed by him in a way. Truly it was just envy.

The food processor comes to an abrupt halt, and all that can be heard from the other room is a deep sigh, followed by the sound of dragged footsteps as their tall friend walks into the messy—in the way only college boys living spaces can be—living room with resignation. “Fine. But this better have nothing to do with Cheetos or tacos.” 

“Much better.” Jake winks at him, nudging Sunghoon’s hands away with his elbow, the younger hissing in pain. “Behold,” he turns the phone towards an unassuming Jay, aware of the fact he's about to change the older's view of Sunghoon forever.“Sunghoon’s monster of a cock.”

Jay’s hands stop on his apron, (the ridiculous one with a bodybuilder torso and cheetah boxers Jungwon got him for a secret Santa) and his mouth hangs open for a second too long, before he comes back to his senses and notices how Sunghoon slumps back on the couch, cheeks burning red. Jay swats the phone out of Jake’s hand. “What the fuck is your problem, dude.”

“What? I’m just saying it’s way larger than average!”

“He’s uncomfortable.” Jay says, going back to drying his hands on the apron. “Leave him be.”

This only makes Sunghoon’s cheeks redder, his ears a bright pink too. Jake scoffs, eyeing him suspiciously. “Sure. I’m sure having a porn star cock must be so mortifying. Who even complains about stuff like this?” he snickers before making his voice a pitch higher. “‘Poor me! My dick’s too heavy! What will I do!”

“Oh my god,” Sunghoon runs a hand through his hair, pulling the ends a bit. “It is not that big.” He looks at Jay for support, expecting him to disagree with Jake.

Jay’s gaze falters to his pants for a split second. His mouth twists but he remains silent.

“Not you too.” Sunghoon's hands now hold his face as he sinks into the cushions further, legs spreading. “Just say what you wanna say.”

“I mean…” Jay gestures towards Sunghoon's crotch. “I suspected you were big but… that’s crazy, man.”

“It’s not that cra—”

“Yes it is! You’ve got a fucking gas storage tank in your pants and you wanna sit here and tell us it’s not crazy?” Jake says, exasperated by that point. “And stop playing dumb. It’s big. That’s good. I’m sure the ladies go crazy over it. Or the gentlemen. Or whoever it is you fuck.” He kisses his teeth, muttering under his breath. “Lucky bastard.”

“Jake’s right, Hoon. I don’t know why you're so… negative about it. It's a good thing."

“I wouldn’t know,” Sunghoon mutters under breath, more to himself than to the guys, but it’s still loud enough for them to catch it.

“Oh? Then whenever the time comes, you’ll see how much they’ll love it,” Jay says.

"I'm just worried." Sunghoon tries his best to avoid both sets of eyes staring intently at him. "What… what if I end up hurting someone?"

Jake coos, then moves closer to Sunghoon on the couch, his breath fanning over his ear as he whispers, “Always so concerned about other people. Aren't you such a cutie pie?”

The boys weren't exactly wrong, but with big dick come great responsibilities—as Jake said. Yup, roll your eyes at him, not Sunghoon. He's innocent—like having to finger and eat out your partners for what feels like an eternity before even trying to push the tip in, which is not exactly the best situation to be in as a virgin. Current Sunghoon thinks that's the best part, but it took a while to get here.

Sunghoon has always been a very patient man though, a gentle giant in every sense of the phrase. The last thing he would ever want to do is inflict pain accidentally on another human being.

When he got his first actual girlfriend, he'd been so nervous and honestly quite scared to have sex with her. So he got on Google whenever he had free time to study ways to make it as comfortable as possible, watching all kinds of video explanations or reading through feminine pleasure blogs written by women for women specifically, because that's where Jay told him the good stuff was at.

By the time he got to actually have sex with her, his mind was so overwhelmed by all this information that he essentially forgot how to even think. It was anything but romantic, so deeply embarrassing Sunghoon still cringes even after all this time when his mind betrays him and reminds him of it while trying to fall asleep at night.

And then, to add insult to injury, his girlfriend cheated on him and left him for this guy she'd only just met, because 'it might not be as big, but at least he knows how to use it'.

Heartbroken and with an hurt ego, Sunghoon did that thing all boys do when their first relationship doesn't work out: hit the gym and promise themselves they're never gonna fall in love ever again.

That second part ended up failing, because from the moment you showed up at his doorstep to visit (your now ex boyfriend, but a beloved friend nonetheless) Jay and Jake, five different bags around you, with eyes as big as saucers and staring at him like he had invaded his own apartment, all the feelings younger Sunghoon had for you hit him like a brick to his nape all over again.

You two dating came as a shock to everyone around you, mostly because while you were aware of Park Sunghoon's existence and vice versa, you'd never given it too much thought. You remembered him as the scrawny kid with the cute moles from math that you used to always catch staring. He was often around Jungwon because they were neighbors, but was way too shy to even say hi to you. That, and he was also always around Jake—who you were not exactly fond of, given his reputation—so you steered clear of him when you could manage to.

Then, when the third year of high school started, you stopped seeing him around, and Jungwon told you he had moved away to follow his dad's business. You wouldn't admit it at the time but the hallways seemed duller than usual for a few days, but that probably was also due to Jake not being as loud and energetic with his best friend gone.

Last year of high school, you went on a few dates with Jay from history class, and while he was the closest you have ever thought a man to be perfect, you both agreed you worked better as friends than anything more. Usually that means 'you're cool but I'm gonna try my best to not have to say hi to you if I see you around', but Jay is so wonderful, you actually kept in touch and became quite close, even if platonically.

By the time the year ended, you had a very tight group of friends consisting of yourself, Jungwon, Jay, and even Jake—who, for the record, isn't nearly as bad as all the crazy rumors make him out to be. It saddened you that it took so long to find your group, but you were grateful you had one nonetheless, a lot of people never get that luxury, so you weren't about to let a little graduation get in between you all. You spent a good five days consoling Jake that no, no one was going anywhere and yes, you will all be best friends for life.

But then college started, and it became difficult to stay in touch because Jay and Jake had to move. Jake reassured you that you and Jungwon would be more than welcome to visit and stay over at their apartment—which you found funny because that is technically not Jake's apartment at all, at least not until Hoon moved in too and the three of them started sharing the costs, but he has a way of making every place he steps foot in his, like he's meant to be there, so Jay let it slide.

So the first thing you did when you finally had some free time was getting on the cheapest flight available to go visit your friends. Heavy luggage in hand and stained sweatpants on, you were dumbfounded when the one who opened the door for you was none other than Park Sunghoon, and not Jay like you expected.

He was no longer the shy kid you remembered him to be, and he had grown nicely into his features, his hair now a jet back instead of the brown you were accustomed to see. Over those two weeks you realized that while you have know Sunghoon all your life, you had never really seen him, and it made you want to go back in time and hand a little paper note to the shy boy always staring at you during class.

Your head sinks further into your pillow with a whine, the case enveloping it sporting gray spots of wetness, where your tears and drool had accumulated over the last torturous half an hour Sunghoon spent fucking you open with his fingers. You don't know what he means, because you feel like you could take his entire fist by now, that's how wet you are. If your pillowcase is such a mess, you don't even wanna think about what your bed sheets look like.

"I can– take you," you protest, breath hitching mid sentence at a particularly deep curl of his fingers inside you.

"Yeah?" Sunghoon quirks an eyebrow at you, moving his thumb to suddenly hover over your clit. It's not a full touch, nor does he really move it from there, but just the expectation of it has your walls involuntary flutter around his digits. A wicked grin overtakes his face, in a way you think it would clash with his prince-like features. But it looks right at home on him, the canines poking out only adding to his devilish charm.

"Then what's this? Gripping me even tighter," he says against your lips again, like he can't pick between kissing you or speaking, like anything he does he needs to do it with your taste on his mouth. He shakes his head, pouting at you before you get the chance to retort. "Squeeze me this tight when I'm inside you, and I'll believe you're trying to push me out, baby."

The press of his length against your thigh doesn't help, and when your eyes roll to the back of your head, half the reason is the new spot he's now reaching making you see stars, the other is your frustration with him. You know he's huge, and you know he cares about your comfort above all, but a little sting as he bottoms out inside you would be a hundred times better than the 'prep' he's subjecting you to. It took so long to even get here, and now he plans on making you wait even more? You have half the idea to push him off of you and get on top of him, take what's yours. If he's not gonna believe you can take him, you might as well just show him.

Of course, that wouldn't work, because Sunghoon is infinitely stronger than you are and the only thing you would accomplish is looking stupid thrashing under him as he keeps you pinned down. Probably with one arm only too, to really get his point across.

"Add another finger then." There's a certain bark in your tone that makes him chuckle. That's all it is: bark and no bite. You can do nothing but demand, and demand, and demand again, but if he's not willing to give it to you, there is close to nothing you can do about it. And it makes Sunghoon's cock twitch against the slick skin of your thighs. He loves knowing he has you at his mercy.

"Woah!" he gasps, and the fake surprise only irritates you further. Or at least that's what you tell yourself, because Sunghoon doesn't miss the way you clench around his fingers whenever he talks to you like this. "Missy, you're so bratty today… where are your manners?"

The retort is ready on your tongue, but the words mold into a surprised hiss when he actually prods your hole with a third digit, feeling around for a way to slowly ease it into you. You fear it won't be as easy as you hoped, but you also don't want to back down now that he's giving in.

"Just put it in." You angle your hips to give Sunghoon easier access.

"Easy there." He leans back on his knees, and you hate how you're so needy. Even when he's still so close, fingers pumping in and out of you at a torturous pace, you crave for every inch of your body to be touched by his, for your breaths to mingle for as long as possible. You wonder how it's possible to miss someone who's right in front of you, but your heart yearns to hear the rhythmic beat of his own against your chest all the same.

You don't get to dwell on it too long, because the sensation of something wet dribbling right where Sunghoon's fingers meet you rips you out of your thoughts.

It takes a few seconds for you to realize what's happening, but when it sinks in, your mouth slowly hangs open in a moan, eyes closed to relish the feeling.

"You like that?" Sunghoon asks, and for once you can't bring yourself to care about the cockiness in his tone. In fact, it's the last thing you could care about—not when his digits are working to spread his spit all over you, and his third finger is slowly making its way inside you right next to the others. It's a tight fit, and Sunghoon can't really move his fingers like he wishes to, but it'll do for now. He can always do it over and over again until you're ready, as long as you keep making those faces for him. "Look at you," he continues. "You were so demanding earlier, now you're falling apart and I'm barely just getting started."

You clench around him hard, body all tensed up as you accommodate the sudden change in thickness.

Sunghoon bends down again when he notices you're not easing up, trailing his way back up your body with pecks, giving you a few on your lips once he reaches your face. "Does it burn, baby?" he asks, the playful edge in his tone from earlier completely gone, smoothed down to the usual soft timbre you love so much. "Do you want me to take it out? I'll make you cum with two fingers, it's okay."

You shake your head. The stretch does burn, but you also want to prove to him that you can take him.

"You sure?" The murmur vibrates against your ear, the sound of his voice close enough to have you arching your back, pushing your stomach against his harder figure. If you had any sort of reservation about continuing, it's totally gone now. His insistence to make you comfortable always ignites pure want in you.

You nod, but your eyes are still screwed shut because of the burn, so it's not enough for Sunghoon to let go yet.

He slows down his movements, trying to help you out, but the whine you let out is enough to let him know you actually want what he's giving you and more. Still, he needs to hear it. "Use your big girl words, I know you can."

"Wanna keep going."

"Aaand?"

"Please, Hoon." You know you're far gone when you don't even care about how whiny you sound, you would get onto your knees and beg if he asked you to right then. You would want to forget about it right after, but still, you would do it in a heartbeat.

Thankfully, your boyfriend is very nice to you, so 'please and thank you's are enough to keep him satiated, at least for now.

"Good girl."

The praise goes straight to your cunt, further tightening the grip you have on his fingers. Sunghoon is flattered, but that's not what you need in that moment. So he reminds you.

"Take deep breaths, baby. It's only gonna hurt more if you don't ease up."

"Hoon, want more."

"I know baby, I know. But it'll feel better if you stop tensing up. Here, follow my breaths and let go." He kisses both of your shut eyelids. "Eyes on me, pretty. Okay?"

You obey him like it's second nature, but when you open your eyes and you're met with the downright angelic sight of your boyfriend, black strands of hair framing his face and his chain dangling slightly from his neck, you don't understand how you're supposed to calm down. He starts taking deep breaths, ones you try your best to mirror. And despite what you thought, the focus on your chest rising and falling and the warmth in Sunghoon's eyes does make the stretch a lot better. You were enjoying yourself before too, all things considered. Now it's different, you're struggling to keep your sounds in, and any other time you would be mortified by how much wetness is seeping out of your cunt, but Sunghoon's presence is relaxing in a way no one else's has ever been for you.

The more you explore each other's bodies, the more you start to think that maybe, just maybe, there is not a single thing you could do with Sunghoon that you would ever regret. The safety of a judgment free zone with someone who obviously cares deeply for you makes the experience so much better than you could have ever imagined. What other people did to you, no matter how pleasurable, just didn't measure up to what Sunghoon does with you. And you haven't even gone all the way in.

"Theeere we go, see how much better it feels when you're not being a brat?"

Sunghoon is careful with you, watching your every reaction and studying your expressions so he can learn exactly what makes crumble and what brings you closer to the edge, what makes you forget you have to breathe and when to pause so he can drag your pleasure out for as long as he wants, for as long as you can handle. His cock is rock hard, casually rutting against you from time to time. You have half a mind to reach into his boxers and help him out, but you're not sure you could do a good enough job at it, not when he's starting to bend the tips of his fingers to reach right where you need him.

You can feel yourself getting closer, so you grab his wrists—whether to stop him or push him further, you don't know yourself. What you do know, is that just fingers have never felt this good before, and if you had the choice to feel like this forever, you would take it.

The sudden grip doesn't deter Sunghoon, it encourages him instead. His movements are faster, deeper, but still just as precise. It's like he already knows the ins and outs of what brings you pleasure. "Gonna come all over my hand, baby? I know you're close."

You nod desperately, throat too raw and dry to produce sounds more complex than little whines—which Sunghoon finds adorable, he can't wait to find out what sounds you make when he's splitting you open on his cock. He coos, and that alone almost makes you cum. Almost, because what really does you in is his thumb moving to finally circle your clit, really touch it.

Your body tenses up again when your vision goes a searing white, but Sunghoon's other hand finds your thighs right away to prevent you from caging his hands between your legs. He worked hard to make you cum, so you're not gonna take the sight of your fluttering pussy away from him, not when he has rightfully earned it.

"You did so well," he says, his hand caressing the skin of your inner thigh as a reminder to relax your muscles, his thumb slowing down its movement on your clit as your walls flutter around his digits at longer intervals each time.

You eventually even out your breathing, your vision still a little fuzzy, but you feel lighter and content. Once Sunghoon is sure you're okay, he pulls you in for a sweet kiss, like he wasn't just rearranging your guts with his fingers alone moments ago.

"Perfect, you're so perfect," he whispers between kisses, landing a wet smack on your nose when you scrunch it in response. "You're always gorgeous but this—fuck, you're beautiful." He keeps kissing you, each kiss waking up a different butterfly in your stomach. You feel giddy like you haven't ever since you were a kid running through the meadow on a spring evening. You giggle when he reaches the valley of your breasts, and run your fingertips through his hair, his head resting on your chest.

"I love you," Sunghoon whispers, and for the first time in your life you know those words to be true, no hidden intention behind them, no cruel joke waiting for you at the end of the line. It feels right when they're coming out of Sunghoon's mouth.

"I know, I love you t—what are you doing." It's much more of an accusation rather than a question, because you see the little wicked glint in his eyes as he resumes kissing his way down your body—first down your navel, then between your thighs.

"Showing you how much I love you, duh." He spreads your legs as open as he can get them before you start protesting again. "Besides, I haven't gotten a taste yet."

You should stop him, because suddenly you're reminded of how he still hasn't come yet, and you would feel bad to neglect him. The look in his eyes though—needy, almost feral— keeps you pinned right in your spot. "What… about you?"

Sunghoon looks at you, genuinely confused. "What about me?"

"Yeah, I should be… helping you out." You glance down at him, and the wet patch on his boxers makes you clench around nothing. Had you not witnessed first hand how messy Sunghoon can get, you would assume he cummed already. Knowing that's only pre though, makes saliva flood into your mouth at the mere thought of your boyfriend's cock pumping load after load down your throat. Screw 'not hurting' you, you would be happy gagging and choking endlessly around him if it meant you got a tiny little taste.

"Oh baby, but you are helping me out. Just lay back and let me." Sunghoon pops two of his fingers in his mouth, tasting the residues of you high still lingering on his skin, rich and divine on his tongue. "So good, now let me get a real taste."

He trails his wet fingers up your body, relishing in the way you shiver under his touch when he brushes over your nipples. He grabs your face once he reaches it, and forces you to look at him. "Wanting to please me… aren’t you such a generous girl? So, so good for me. So eager to please, you’re so cute.” He doesn't miss how your lip twitches in response to his words, and how your hand slides between your thighs and how they close around it. “But, I'm still not done.”

“But—”

“Shhh,” he silences you right away. He parts your lips with his thumb, and your response to it is immediate, sucking on it without needing to be told what to do. You swirl your tongue around his finger eagerly, as if trying to show him what he is missing by not letting you take his cock out his pants. “See? So perfect for me. Such a pretty and obedient girl, am I right?” 

You nod subconsciously, like he has you under a spell, ready to comply with anything he asks out of you. Maybe he does.

“I know that’s right.” Sunghoon takes the thumb out of your mouth, coating your lips with your own spit as he caresses them with it. “Then do what you’re told and lay back. I can fuck you another time. Now spread those legs for me mkay? Yeah, just like that. So much we can do in the meantime."

"I just don't get why he won't stick it in me."

"You have such a way with words."

You throw a fry at your best friend, only to get more irritated when he catches it midair with his mouth. Jungwon chews it loudly with his mouth open—because he knows it annoys you to death—then washes it down with his coconut milkshake that he won't let you get a sip of because 'using the same straw as me counts as cheating now that you're dating Sunghoon'.

"Okay but why? You're a man. What's the thought process behind this? Tell me."

"Girl, it's your boyfriend. You tell me."

"What if he doesn't fine me att—" A fry hits you right on your forehead, and it's like the impact activates your brain cells, because of course Sunghoon finds you attractive, that is not the problem.

"Now, let's be honest with ourselves please. None of that shit."

Your back hits the bed with a soft thud, arms spread out as you stare at the very familiar ceiling of your room. A sight you've been taking in quite often recently, while trying to come up with a plan to get Sunghoon to dick you down good.

Jungwon shoves a fist of fries in his mouth, barely chewing before speaking again. "I don't get why it's such a big deal."

You roll onto your side, facing the blonde little gremlin occupying the space next to you. "It's a big deal because— why is your ass on my pillow. Jungwon get—"

He silences you by feeding you a handful of fries from the container on his lap. "You were saying?"

You gulp them down quickly before replying, because you're civilized enough to do so, unlike someone else. "We've done it all, and I know he's scared of hurting me, but I can also tell he's holding back. I'm ready– I've been ready. It's just… whenever I think it's gonna happen he pulls back so suddenly, like he's restraining himself."

"Mhh… you've talked to him about this, right?" Jungwon looks at you in a way that feels entirely too judgmental, like skipping the communication part is something you do often enough for it to be a pattern. Something he needs to check off of a list before he gives you more advice.

He's not completely wrong. As in, at one point in your life you had made an habit out of assuming people's thoughts and intentions, but that is in the past. And those people are not your Park Sunghoon.

The polaroids messily scattered on the wall above your desk, like someone had dropped them and they'd defied gravity to stay there, glimmer as the sun starts its golden descent into the horizon. Old, more ruined around the edges ones you took right after Jungwon got you a polaroid camera with his very first salary from working at an ice cream shop over the summer. Pictures of sunsets and dumb words carved into sandy beaches, of thumbs digging into teenager Jungwon's dimples. Newer, glossier ones that you took when Sunghoon gifted you a new camera, after the one Jungwon got you finally broke down after years. You'd cried so hard that day, because it had felt like growing up.

The charger is still hidden under all the mess of receipts in your comforter's drawer, you still hope one day the pink sticker covered camera will turn on if you charge it long enough.

But some things are meant to stay in the past, and better ones are always hiding behind the corner, ready to come your way.

You aren't the young girl with the pink polaroid camera anymore, just like you're not the girl that is scared to voice her thoughts and troubles any longer.

"Of course I have."

"And?"

"Won, he just tells me I need more prep. I've had plenty of that, trust me. Like, he's spent the last month using this toy on—"

"Okay, okay I get it. I trust you, spare me the details."

"—Point is, I'm more than ready. I know it's gonna be uncomfortable and a bit painful at first, he's like… so huge it's—"

"I get it."

"—but that's a given with how big he is. I think it's just… him being nervous, really."

"Have you… tried to, uhm. Take charge? Maybe you calling the shots would make it easier for him to let loose." Jungwon looks down on his lap as he plays with the rings adorning his fingers. You wouldn't say he has ever been particularly shy per se, not when it comes to discussing your sexual life, even in heavy detail. He was the boy your mother made you take a bath with after a whole day of rolling around in dirt as a kid, because his wasn't around a lot of the time. The same boy who has seen you toothless and with horrible haircuts, who has seen all your embarrassing phases. Talking to Jungwon was much more akin to talking to yourself rather than venting to a diary, because he stored secrets in his heart that you would never be comfortable writing down on paper. Except he also calls you a dumbass when he needs to.

It's been a little different ever since you started dating Sunghoon freshly out of college, but you imagine it can't be helped since Jungwon is also very close to him.

You take a deep breath, shoulders slumping with the motion. Yeah, like that would ever work. "He doesn't give up dominance ever, really. I have tried a few times but…" you trail off, thoughts suddenly plagued with images of Sunghoon putting you back in your place instantly whenever you tried to take charge. You have already given it some thought, a lot of thought, actually. What wouldn't you do to have Sunghoon under you and at your mercy, so responsive to every touch, perhaps even tied down. Yeah, you're gonna have to bring it up more seriously to him, maybe then he would let you—

"Are you seriously fantasizing about dominating your boyfriend right in front of my cheddar fries?"

But you're gonna continue that thought another time.

"Let's see then…" Jungwon continues, evidently determined to find a solution to your problem. "Maybe act out? Would that work? Mhhh… I don't know, you're already very annoying day to day and he puts up with that…so."

Jungwon genuinely looks like he is putting so much thought into it, somehow it makes it more offensive.

"Yeah. And who grew up next to him? You. Exactly. You trained his patience, if anything," you retort, but Jungwon doesn't even give you the satisfaction of acknowledging it, because you both know that you do love to be a nuisance to your boyfriend whenever you get the chance.

"Wait." Jungwon perks up after a seconds of deep thought, making the plushies on your bed fall on the floor, but the situation is so dire that you don't scold him. Instead, you cast a hopeful glance in his direction. Please let his brain cells work for once in his life.

"Isn't Hoon like, terribly jealous every time someone brings up that time you and Jay dated in high school?"

The cogs in your brain turn, and if someone was to walk into the room at that moment they would be able to smell the fumes coming out of your and Jungwon's head.

Jungwon continues, though he doesn't need to, because you have caught what he is hinting to already. "You need him to snap? What better reason to if not some good ol' jealousy. Am I right?"

But of course he is, that little gremlin genius.

"And, it just happens that a few high school acquaintances are organizing a get together soon. You know people will bring up you and Jay, just drag Hoon along. It's fate."

"Have I ever told you that you're my bestest friend ever and that I owe you my life, Won?"

Your plan is not working out as expected.

Getting everyone on board took you and Jungwon some time, but they all eventually agreed to come along. Sunghoon himself was the one with the most reservations, since he moved away halfway through high school and he missed a good chunk of it. Most importantly, he missed how you and the others became friends in the first place, so he's always been a little bitter about it.

Calling it a plan was an overstatement. You wore a skimpy little outfit, black miniskirt and sheer thighs, and bet on someone bringing up how you and Jay used to date in front of Sunghoon. You hoped that would make him jealous enough to grab you and drag you home, maybe teach you a lesson that you would inevitably learn nothing from.

Instead, you get sulky Sunghoon with a beer in his hand, looking at you like a kicked puppy as you and Jay make conversation with your old acquaintances. It doesn't help that Jungwon refuses to pick up his phone so you two can come up with something quick to stir the night towards your desired outcome.

The call goes into voicemail again, and you sigh for the hundredth time that night as you end it and open up his chat to type in another text.

"No answer yet?" Jay asks, smoothing his pink dress shirt. He's always the classier looking guy in the room, no matter where he goes, but the hue of pink he chose for the night makes him stand out further in the sea of swarming bodies.

You shake your head. You're in a quieter corner, away from the thumping speakers, but your throat is sore after all the screaming you did over the deafening music. You thought you would get used to the volume when a few of the people at the reunion suggested moving to a club across the street to end the night with a bang, just like the old times, but it somehow got progressively worse instead.

From your side, Jake puts two fingers in his mouth and whistles to catch someone's attention, and when it doesn't work, Jay laughs at him.

"Sunghoon looks bored, I think we should call it a night," Jay says.

"Bored? He looks like he's gonna murder the next poor soul that steps too close to Y\N," Jake takes a swing of the drink he's holding, something that looks like aged whiskey. Very much unlike anything Jake would order. He hisses after the liquid burns his throat, even when diluted by the melted ice. "Jay, my man, your taste is so ass."

You give the interaction a half hearted laugh. Despite your original plan, you hate seeing Sunghoon so uncomfortable, especially when you know he only came along to make you happy. He insists he doesn't belong surrounded by people who pretend to remember who he is and keep bringing up stuff that happened in the past expecting a glint of recognition from him. You tell him there are multiple people with a similar experience to his even when they attended all years, you tell him he belongs anywhere as long as you and the other guys are there. He tells you those are the people that don't get invited to these sort of events.

"It's getting late anyway, maybe we should just go," you say, checking your notification bar for any sign of life from Jungwon. Still nothing.

"I'll go get Won." Jake throws back the remaining drink, scrunching his eyes and hissing at the bitter taste he still isn't accustomed to.

You take a second to scan your surroundings, and the swaying mass of sweaty bodies makes you nauseous. You used to love getting rocked back and forth by the music, uncaring for a single thing in the world if not the overwhelming love you felt for everyone and everything around you when alcohol buzzed through your system. When you were younger, it felt like ibuprofen for your soul. Now, it only amplifies the hurt in your chest when you think about how heavy this night must have been for your boyfriend.

Before you can make your way to him, someone grabs your attention.

"Jay! And you over there, it's been a while."

You instinctively turn towards the loud voice, finding a vaguely familiar face cockily grinning in your direction.

"She has a name." Jay takes a deep breath and gives you a look, his jaw tense, and that alone is enough to let you know right away the guy in front of you is nothing but trouble.

The guy continues as if you weren't even there to listen to the conversation. A ghost. "Doesn't matter, being your girlfriend is all she was known for back then." He takes a swing of his beer, taste as bitter as his voice. He's very obviously drunk out of his mind, words slurring and step unsteady, but his words annoy you anyway.

"Excuse m—" you try to interject, but he speaks right over you.

"You two back together?"

Jay looks like he's seconds away from punching him, but you simply shake your head no. "Oh! No, and I'm not single actually. My boyfriend's here—" you turn around to look for Sunghoon where you last saw him, and beam when you find him right as he walks up to you. His shoulders relax just the tiniest bit when he notices how relieved you look when you meet his gaze, the way you reserve that look to him only, the way you light up as soon as you spot him. "There he is! Perfect timing, baby."

Sunghoon slides a hand around your waist possessively, placing a soft kiss to your temple to really get the point across. "I was looking for you."

Truth is, he wasn't. He had his eyes on you the entire time, but you were playing with your rings and kept readjusting your clothes as the conversation was unfolding, and Jay looked uneasy too, so he figured nothing good was being said.

"Yeah, sorry! Just catching up with friends from back in the day. Y'know, reminiscing and stuff. Have you seen Won around?" You want to diffuse the situation before the idiot in front of you says anything he might regret. You want Hoon to be a little jealous, not for him to get you all kicked out of a party because someone decided to run their mouth a little too much. Your hand finds his exposed biceps, and it looks like he made the right choice by stepping in, because now that he is all up in your space, you're visibly more comfortable.

Sunghoon shakes his head. Last time he caught a sight of Jungwon in the crowded space was when the night had barely started, and he wore a cowboy hat as he shoved his tongue down some girl's throat. Good for him. "He's probably… catching up with acquaintances too."

You look like you are about to say something, but the nameless guy interrupts you before you get a single word out. It gives Sunghoon all the more reason to dislike him, even before he listens to what he has to says. "And you are? I don't recall seeing you around."

"Oh! Hoon just moved to a different school halfway through high school, but we're all friends," Jay replies instead, familiar with his best friend's feelings about his high school years.

"Then why is he here?"

Sunghoon's jaw clenches. You squeeze his arm as if to remind him you are next to him, and he melts instantly into your touch.

"I'm here because my girl and my friends are. Now if you'd be so kind, we are trying to have a nice night, and you're interfering with that." Sunghoon turns around, holding you against his chest as he starts to make his way to the bar to grab another beer.

"Yeah? You know your friend and your girl used to fuck? Maybe they still do."

Sunghoon was raised to be a patient man. One that counts to ten before reacting, a man who wouldn't even hurt a fly. So it must be the alcohol fueling his actions, because before he realizes what he is doing, he grabs the guy by his shirt, knuckles white as a ghost making the material wrinkle in his hold. "What the fuck did you just say?"

Sunghoon knows he is being provoked, but not even Jay trying to step between them can do anything to calm his anger, not when the poor bastard spits on his shirt, then says something that he really shouldn't have.

"I mean look at her." The man laughs, and it's bitter, filled with something more sinister than mere disgust. It's envy. "Are you surprised? She's dressed like a whore."

Sunghoon moves before you have the time to grab him, right fist colliding with so much force against the man's face, his lip breaks on contact. He wobbles a bit, hit taking him by surprise, but he just gathers the blood dripping inside his mouth and spits it by Sunghoon's feet.

"Hey! Hey." Jay grabs the guy's arm, roughly yanking him back as a crowd of people starts to notice the commotion, heading to take a look at what's happening, a few bodyguards included.

"So tough," the man starts a laughs interrupted by winching when his broken lip curls too much. "Take that out on your so called friend—"

Your voice drowns out the rest of the sentence. "Baby, please."

Sunghoon looks at you, and for a second you doubt he sees you. There's so much anger in his eyes, like he wants nothing more than to rip the little bitch in front of him to pieces. They're almost unfamiliar in a way that send shivers down your spine. You hate the fact that you can't tell if it's fear or lust. But the storm behind his gaze clears out for a second when he sees the alarm on your pretty face, just the one you need. "I wanna go home."

No matter the anger coursing through Sunghoon's bloodstream like venom, thick black poison inciting him to turn back and finish the job, his conscience always prioritizes your well being and what you want. So when you take his hand a make a beeline for the exit, he follows without a single complaint.

The car ride back home is uncomfortably silent.

Sunghoon doesn't hum the random tune playing on the radio like he usually does, he doesn't hold your thigh nor does he even spare you a glance, and you start worrying he might be mad at you.

The words said about you earlier sting, but they don't hold a candle next to Sunghoon's silence. You want to speak up, fill the void that is so uncharacteristically awkward, but the words die in your throat the second you try to push them out.

A ding! followed by your phone screen lighting up signals a new notification, and you swipe through your phone to find out if Jungwon has finally made his existence known.

It's a text from Jay. You notice how Sunghoon's eyes dart to your phone for a split second before going back to focusing on the road ahead, his jaw twitching under the street lights.

00:27 AM. Jongie <3: You guys made it home yet?

00:28 AM. you: not yet, you? did you find the others?

Last thing you heard as you dragged Sunghoon out of the club was Jay arguing with both the still nameless guy and two bodyguards who had been notified of commotion next to the bar. Your main goal was to get your boyfriend the hell out of there before he broke someone's face in, but now that you're away from the mess and the dizziness from the alcohol has started to die down, leaving your muscles and bones tired, you worry for your friends too.

00:29 AM. Jongie <3: Heading back now, Jake texted me he found Won.

00:29 AM. Jongie <3: Wasted, ofc. But apparently Jake's taking care of him now.

00:31 AM. you: don't know if i like the sound of that. will they ever let us back in there?

00:33 AM. Jongie <3: Yeah no chance, Won won't be happy when he finds out.

00:35 AM. you: how did him and jake even get home?

You lock your phone for good after Jay confirms Jake mumbled something about a really nice girl with a great rack driving them home, deciding you'll deal with their bullshit another day, when you're completely sober and not worried about what your unusually silent boyfriend might be thinking.

Just in time for Sunghoon to pull into his driveway. He doesn't remind you to take your bag with you as he always does, he doesn't wait for you to be out of the car before heading straight towards his front door. Truth be told, you're more shocked he didn't just drop you off at your own apartment because now you're really sure he must be upset with you.

It's dumb, really. What that guy said is anything but your fault. But your panicked mind makes up scenarios in which Sunghoon knows you wanted to make him jealous, wanted to get a reaction out of him for something as silly as getting him to properly fuck you. It convinces you he has every right to be upset.

His hand twitches in pain for a second while unlocking the door, dried blood—both his and not—staining his pristine knuckles, and it only aids in making you feel worse. You follow him through the entrance, and he waits for you to walk inside before locking the door for the night. It's now or never.

It takes all the courage you can find within yourself to speak, and still your voice comes out uneven, shaky, things your voice has never been when talking to Park Sunghoon. "I'm really, really sorry."

He turns back to you like you just said the most shocking sentence he's ever heard in his life, and he quickly grabs you by your hips when he notices just how scared you look. He quickly realizes you must've mistaken his silent attempt at calming down his anger at the situation for coldness towards you for some reason, and his heart breaks a little at the thought of having made you doubt yourself. When he answers, it's the softest you've ever heard him. "What for, pretty girl?"

Tears well in your eyes when you fail to find the words. You're sorry for so many things, you don't even know where to start. You're sorry for dragging him somewhere he didn't even wanna be in the first place, sorry for taking advantage of his kindness for your own benefit, you're sorry his knuckles are raw and bloodied just because he had to defend you. Above all, you're sorry for being so damn selfish.

Sunghoon carefully caresses your face with his clean hand, so none of that bastard's blood goes anywhere near your pretty features. His thumb swipes across your bottom lip like it's second nature, silently waiting for you to say what's on your mind. He searches your gaze, but you're too busy trying to not burst into tears right there in front of him, so he lowers his hand to your jaw and gently angles your head upwards.

His eyes are kind and warm, no hint of the searing coldness they held mere minutes ago. "None of what happened today is your fault," he speaks slowly, sincerely. He makes sure every single word leaving his lips is loud and clear, no room for misunderstanding or doubt. Sunghoon is smart, he knows you like no one ever has put in the effort to. "I'm sorry if I made you doubt yourself back there, I should've said something. I'm sorry." He sounds secure and confident in what he's saying, but the little unsteady breath and the sharp swallow that come right after betray him. His hand slightly trembles on your skin, and it makes your heart sink even more.

Something else to add to the list. You're also sorry for making Sunghoon feel guilty over your emotions when he never did anything wrong to begin with.

You still struggle to speak, especially when Sunghoon is looking into your eyes as one would towards the light shining through the water surface after holding their breath in far too long, like it means being able to breathe again. There's a devotion in him you've never seen, something actors on a stage cannot replicate, something you don't think words to describe it have been spoken out yet. Something purely unique to you and him.

When your words fail you, you show him your own devotion in a different way.

There's a medication kit Sunghoon got forever ago solely to patch up Jake and Won whenever their Jake and Won antics get them hurt (very often, comically often). Never in your life would you have imagined Sunghoon to be on the receiving end of the care, but here you are.

Sunghoon follows you wordlessly to the couch, giving no protest when you point to sit down while you take your spot next to him.

The saline stings as you carefully clean the wound, but Sunghoon makes no show of it. You finally have a reason to look at somethings else other than his eyes as you gather your thoughts, but he doesn't lose sight of the frown deepening on your face.

Sunghoon watches you intently through his now messy bangs as you hold his bigger hand in yours as if it were made out of the most precious, frail glass. His fingers are way thicker than yours are, but you brush against his knuckles with the cotton just as softly as he kisses your forehead seconds before you let yourself be taken by slumber in his arms every night. He sees all the expressions fluttering on your face, he gives you the time he knows you need. He knows there's something you need to get off your chest.

When the blood stains the cotton instead of his skin, you speak up, "Does it hurt?"

Sunghoon hums in disagreement, the sound dry in his throat. You press into the raw skin a little harder, earning a low hiss from him. "Don't lie to me. We don't lie to each other."

"We don't, but you're hiding something from me." He stops before continuing, his voice a mere whisper, "what's wrong?"

"You got hurt because of me."

"That's not—"

"Yes you did." And once the river of words tumbling out of your mouth starts, it can't be stopped any longer. "I know how you feel about high school and—"

"It's not that—"

"But it is. I don't care if it was five years ago or ten or fifteen, I know you feel a certain way about it and don't lie to me to spare my feelings because it makes me only feel worse. You feel a way about it and I still went out of my way to take advantage of it for such a stupid reason and now I feel like a fucking idiot. And it also got you hurt."

"Baby," Sunghoon says after a moment of quiet, only filled by your heavy breathing. "Hey."

You busy yourself by grabbing the gauze in the little med kit next to you, but you make the mistake of glancing at him for a second, and the little smile dancing on his lips keeps your eyes glued to the sight.

"It's only a few scratches. What's all this really about?"

"I just… fuck, I'm never living this down." You stretch the white bandage over Sunghoon's wound, wrapping it a few times to fully secure it. You take a deep breath, buying yourself more time by inspecting your boyfriend's fingers like they're the most interesting thing you've ever seen in your life. He playfully taps his index against your palm. It makes you smile despite your best efforts not to. "I just wanted to make you jealous."

You say it so quietly even Sunghoon, barely inches away from you, almost misses it. Almost, because you hear the teasing in his tone loud and clear. "Jealous?"

Cat's out of the bag anyway, so you might as well explain yourself. "Before you say anything, Won gave me the idea."

"Of course."

"I just, y'know. Best friend stuff," you say, as if it's the answer to everything.

"Best friend stuff… as in?" Sunghoon keeps prodding, and the faint smile you hear as he speaks without having to take a look at him simultaneously makes you want to grin and roll your eyes at him. You bite your inner cheek instead.

"As in… complaining about my boyfriend…"

"Oh, you must have so much to complain about."

"Well, for starters, my boyfriend doesn't want to fuck me—"

Sunghoon erupts in a fits of boyish giggles when he finally figures out what's going on, delighted to see how embarrassed you are by this whole ordeal. He grabs you by your hips and sits you right on top of his lap so suddenly you let out a little shriek of surprise. "Trust me, your boyfriend would love nothing more than to fuck you through the mattress."

Your hands rest on his shoulders, and you lower your chest against his, noses brushing each other. "Then what's stopping him?"

Sunghoon's warm breath tickles your lips when he whispers, "Maybe he thinks your pretty little pussy can't take it yet."

A warm feeling travels through your body, settling into your lower abdomen, and just when you think he's gonna kiss you, he pulls back and rests his back on the cushion behind him, sinking further into the soft couch and pulling you down with him.

"Hoon—"

"Mh-mh. You haven't told me what Won's idea was yet."

"You know it." You raise your hand to playfully hit his chest, but he's faster than you are and catches your wrist midway with his injured hand.

"I don't know a damn thing," Sunghoon says as he brings his lips to the back of your hand, letting them brush gently against your soft skin before placing a small peck. "Go on, enlighten me."

You pout, but Sunghoon's set on making you talk, and even though you're stubborn and embarrassed, you know he won't let it go until he's satisfied with your response.

And, the slowly growing hardness under your exposed panties, combined with the residuals of alcohol still buzzing through your system are making it hard for you to stand your ground. Not when Sunghoon looks as good as he does with his bangs messily covering his eyes, and fitted short sleeve highlighting his hard chest underneath the cotton. Unfortunately for you.

You move on his lap, adjusting your position so you can feel more of him through the thin material covering you. You crave the harsh coarseness of his jeans on you, for the heat seeping out of him to envelope you fully. You're on top of him, thighs straddling his, yet you feel the invisible push to be even closer. As close as you physically can be.

Sunghoon sees the hunger in your eyes, he has all this time. He too is barely hanging on by a thread, and the self restraint he's miraculously managed to keep until now is dwindling by the second. All the times you've begged for him, all the times he's fucked your pretty pussy open with different toys, bigger and thicker each time. All the times he's had to take cold showers after seeing the raw need for him to claim you fully reflected in your eyes, even after coaxing orgasm after of orgasm out of you. You're so insatiable, but he might be even worse. Once he gives in, he doesn't think he'll be able to let you go ever.

Sunghoon knows you've felt ready for a long time, and even if he thinks you could use more getting used to bigger sizes before he allows himself to finally sink into you, the temptation gnaws at him all the same.

He just needs a little confirmation.

"Tell me, what was this master plan of yours?" he speaks with his mouth pressed to your palm, softly running his nose down to your wrist, allowing himself to bask in the warmness of the scent you chose for the night.

"Won's, not mine."

"That you willingly agreed to."

"I just… wanted to make you jealous." You finally admit, avoiding Sunghoon's gaze at all costs.

"How so? Wearing this tiny little dress?" His voice is lower, more dangerous. He slides his free hand to grab a handful of your barely covered ass, the skirt having ridden up to your waist almost completely. "You know I like it when the attention's on you. They can look all they want, you're mine." The movement causes you to jerk up against his crotch, earning a low grunt from the man beneath you.

"Tell me, baby," Sunghoon rocks you slowly against his hard bulge, caging his bottom lip between his teeth as he takes in your needy and embarrassed form. "How did you plan to make me jealous? Why?"

Your hand slides down his chest and dips under the thin shirt before caressing just over the waistband of his underwear peeking out of the dark jeans. "I thought it would be a smart idea to drag you along to the get together, and I guess I hoped someone would bring me and Jay up. I know how you feel about it and I wanted to use it to my advantage, but I also didn't consider how you'd feel surrounded by strangers reminding you of all the time you and the guys lost. All the time we lost. You came to make me happy and I was being selfish the entire time. You even got hurt because of me—"

"Not because of you. He should be thankful you were there to stop me or I would've broken his ugly face in."

"Still. I'm so sorry. It was childish."

A beat passes without either of you saying anything, and you twitch uncomfortably in his lap.

"Why?"

Your lip trembles, and your heart sinks at the thought of having angered your angel of a boyfriend. Tears well up in your eyes before you even attempt to explain yourself, but Sunghoon gently angles your chin toward him until you're met with his gaze. It's intense, darker than you've ever seen in all your time knowing him. He searches your face for something, and you realize it's not anger casting shadows behind his eyes. It's pure, unfiltered lust.

"Why did you want me jealous?" His voice is raw, like it pains him to produce a single sound, like whatever you answer him with is the honey that will soothe it.

You twitch again, and this time you're not scared, but your insides twist all the same. He rest heavy and hot under you, and you don't know how you'll handle another rejection if that's what this is leading to.

"I wanted you to fuck me, really fuck me. I hoped it would be enough to push you to the breaking point, Sunghoon.“ You swallow hard, and the saliva in your mouth feels thicker than usual. Maybe it is, maybe you're just more aware of all the sensations within your body. "I need you to break."

It's all Sunghoon needs to hear.

He lurches forward to capture your lips with his, harsh and messy, like an animal that has finally broken out of the restraint keeping it chained. His hands roam all over your body, eager to explore every single inch as if it's the first time he ever does.

You reciprocate him with just as much hunger behind every movement, hands slipping from his body to his hair to pull his head back. You grind your hips against his, moves deliberately slow compared to the feverish kiss. "I need you. I don't wanna wait anymore."

Sunghoon moans into your mouth when you release his hair, and he doubles his efforts, sliding his fingers through the wide gaps of the fishnets covering your thighs, big palms fully working you on top of his bulge.

"You want it so bad, baby?" He says between open mouthed kisses, full lips raw and red from the fight with yours. "I'm gonna give it all to you."

Uncaring for the mess of knocked over stuff you two leave in your wake, from Sunghoon's keys loudly hitting the ground to your heels abandoned somewhere on the carpet, you make your way to his room without ever letting go of each other. All around you is just background noise and things you'll think of later, the only thing that seems to matter is to get in bed and get rid of all the pent up frustration clouding your minds.

The door shuts closed and soon your back hits the bed with a soft thud, Sunghoon's hands heavy on your hips and mouth hot on your neck as he carves a wet path on your sensitive skin, caging you between his hard chest and the mattress. He wraps your leg around his middle, and when your cores touch again, you both sigh in relief.

You've spent all this time on the cusp of finally getting something more, waiting—albeit not so patiently on your part—for the right moment, and now that you both know you're just moments away from it, seconds seem to stretch out into hours and even the slightest teasing feels unbearable.

That's what you think, at least. Because Sunghoon is nothing but a tease at heart, and he has very different plans in store for you.

You take advantage of the little moment of pause to undress yourself, but Sunghoon stops you as soon as he notices what you're trying to do.

"Keep it on," he murmurs along your neck, feeling your pulse quicken right under his full lips. He kisses along your collarbones, to your shoulder, exactly where the strap of your dress rests. His teeth graze the material, and he draws back slightly before letting it snap back into place, the slight sting making you jump just the tiniest bit in his hold. "You wanted to make me jealous in this? Then I'll fuck you in it." He mouths his way back up, until he reaches your ear, teeth gently biting right where he knows it makes shivers spread all over your body. "Next time you wear it, my cock is all you'll be able to think about."

You can't hide the way your body reacts to his words, thighs pressing together from the sheer excitement.

Sunghoon toys with the strings of your fishnets, and for a moment you think you should take them off, but he just rips a hole through them, allowing his hand to finally slide underneath them and grab your ass as harshly as he wants. "These were getting on my nerves."

"I can take them—"

Sunghoon silences you with a kiss, slower than the previous one, calculated and meticulous but every bit as passionate. His teeth sink into your bottom lip until you gasp against his mouth, his tongue gently licking away at your lip to soothe the sting. He pulls your core closer to his, unabashedly moaning into your mouth as he ruts his hips into yours.

The tights start to frustrate you the more he works himself against your panties. You want to be closer, you need to feel him push against you completely, and they're in the way. So once again, you try to rid yourself of them.

Sunghoon keeps you still. "These stay on until I tell you to take them off." His tone is commanding, but not abrasive, muffled by your skin. "Understood?"

You barely nod when suddenly he's bending you at his will like you're his to drag around as he pleases, and while usually you would've fought back just for the sake of it, you play nice this time, doing anything to not have him changes his mind and leave you hanging once again.

He sets you on your knees, facing the headboard of his king sized bed, a sturdy and thick thing, wood carved with elegant loops and twirls all around the edges. They gleam and cast shadows alike when Sunghoon reaches over you to turn on the bedside lamp.

The same hand steadies your hip as he lowers himself onto you, pressing his chest to your back and littering kisses from your temple to your neck. "Aren't you such a cute little thing?" he whispers into your ear, chucking when he feels you shudder under his weight. "So needy and desperate, making up plans just to have my cock in your tight pussy." He's so big, so warm. So strong. It makes your knees weak, and you would crumble on the soft mattress if not for his large hand keeping you still. "Should've just come to me right away, should've begged for my cock like the good girl I know you can be." His other hand starts to travel down your body, and your thighs instinctively spread open to accommodate him.

Pride blooms in Sunghoon's heart. You're so pliant for him, sweetly allowing him to touch you all over, your body responding so well to his slightest touch, to his softest word. The trust you have in him makes his cock harder in his pants, but he's always been a patient man. A man that enjoys taking his time playing with his meal before sinking his teeth into it.

That, and you still have a lesson to learn. "But you've been bad, so bad." He bites your earlobe as his fingers hook onto one of the little holes in your tights, right over your throbbing core, so needy and ready to be claimed by him. You hear a loud rip before you realize what's going on.

His fingers immediately find your panties, slick and stuck to your drooling lips, and he starts touching you over them like all the teasing he's subjected you to until then isn't enough to satisfy him. "You'll make it up to me, yeah? You'll make me proud and happy." He licks along the shell of your ear, and your thighs shake, spreading open once more to coax him into touching you better. "I'll only fuck you when I'm satisfied with how sorry you are."

"Hoon—"

"Don't worry, baby." His fingers dip under the fabric, finally really touching you for the first time that night. He slides two fingers between your lips to coat them in your juices as he keeps talking to you in a tone that almost seems belittling, the pout in his voice too heavy and pronounced for it to be honest. "I'll make it worth it. All the time we waited will be worth it. I just have to get you nice and ready, dripping for me."

You have half a mind to turn around and fight him, because you don't understand how you could physically get wetter even if you wanted to be patient and take it. "I'm already wet," you say, and it comes out a little harsher than you intend for it to.

"Look at you," Sunghoon mocks you, the bite in your response only making him chuckle lowly in your ear, the vibrations from the sound make wetness pool on his digits, much to his amusement. "Can't keep the brattiness in check even when you should feel sorry. How can I take your apologies seriously?"

You open your mouth to answer, but his fingers pinch your clit before you get a single word out, replaced by a shriek that sounds something right in between pleasure and pain.

"Less talking." Sunghoon doesn't stop or lessen his touch on your poor sensitive bundle of nerves. Instead, he rolls it between his fingers, coaxing loud moans out of you with every single movement. "More of this."

The bed creaks under Sunghoon's knees as he detaches from your already quivering form and gets up to grab something. You complain with a little whine at the sudden loss, but just a quick glance in his direction tells you to stay still and be patient.

"Where's your phone?" Sunghoon asks. It sounds a lot more like an order.

"My… huh? My phone?"

"Your phone. Where is it?"

You gawk at him for a second, still in the same position despite the dull ache in your knees slowly but surely setting in, your mouth agape as you try to rack your brain for an explanation as to why the fuck Sunghoon needs your phone since he doesn't seem to be planning on offering you one. "In my bag. On the couch, I think."

It's only a few seconds before your boyfriend returns with your phone in his hand, and throws it carelessly on the bed next to you. He returns to his previous position, the warmth radiating from his body soothing you even when you don't know what to expect next.

You'd be lying if you said you don't enjoy this stricter version of your ever so loving and doting boyfriend, thighs clenching at the thought of the danger lurking behind his sweet demeanor.

"Unlock your phone and open Jay's chat." Sunghoon's calm facade is completely gone, replaced by pure fire.

"What?"

"You heard me." His grip on your thighs tightens, possessive and angry. "You're gonna open Jay's chat and record while I fuck your pussy with my fingers, and you'll have him hear how good I make you feel."

You're breathless, adrenaline pumping through your system and ears ringing at the thought of doing something so obscene, with one of your best friends on the other end of it no less. "Hoon, Jay didn't have anything to do with this… we shouldn't—"

"I don't care." Sunghoon bites your neck, sharp canines poking you just enough to elicit a gasp out of you. "You'll do as I say and tell him you won't ever go back."

He sounds so possessive, so unlike any version of him you have experienced, and just this little taste has you obsessed. You love the soft spoken, big sweetheart he always is, and you love the sleeping beast hidden just beneath the surface too. You love the anticipation of what's to come, not knowing which side of Sunghoon you're gonna get.

Your hand trembles as you reach for the phone, his is sure and steady as it makes its descent down to your wet pussy again. Sunghoon takes his time, letting his fingers ghost on your thighs for a little before sliding the panties off of you. You hear him moan behind you, and you're glad you don't get to see what you suspect is him licking off the wetness off the fabric he just rid you of. That would be way too much for you in the moment, you think.

The Jongie <3 contact in your favorites section seems so silly now that you're mere seconds away from letting him hear how your boyfriend fucks you, so you take a few deep breaths in preparation. As if sensing your hesitation, Sunghoon quickly places a gentle kiss to your temple, and just like that, he's back to his caring self. "You said you're sorry, baby. You should show me, but you don't have to."

You press the voice message recording button moments later, heart thrumming loudly in your ears as you slide your finger up so it keeps recording hands free.

"Such a brave girl. So, so good for me." Sunghoon praises you, and it soothes some of the anxiety you feel, his tone thick and sweet as honey, you barely recognize it as the same one that was giving you harsh commands earlier.

The downright filthy sound of Sunghoon's digits spreading your pussy lips open has you cowering in embarrassment, but your boyfriend doesn't care. He needs Jay to hear how absolutely soaked you are. He wastes no time, pushing in three fingers inside you.

Your mouth is hung open in a silent moan, eyebrows knit together and eyes closed, taking a moment to adjust to the sudden sensation. It stings, even when you're so wet it's dripping down your thighs by now, but his fingers are so long and thick the initial stretch is always uncomfortable, despite all the training.

Sunghoon doesn't like that, so he gives you no time, no warning, and just starts pumping in and out of you, curling the tips just like he does when you're about to cum and need the tiniest push. He's unfair, so unfair, because how are you supposed to keep your sounds down like you planned to when he's finger fucking you like it's his life mission to have you come undone in record time?

You don't know if it's an ego thing, or he just wants to make your punishment that much harder. It must be both, because within seconds you're moaning and gasping out in pleasure for him and Jay so beautifully, really putting on a show for the both of them. But it's so hard to focus and remember what you're supposed to say, and the longer the voice message is, the more mortified you'll be in the morning.

For now, satisfying Sunghoon's thirst for punishment and placating the jealousy you yourself caused is your top priority. You'll think about the consequences another time.

"Aren't you gonna say hi? Where are your manners?" Sunghoon's mouth drops to your ear, the movement of his fingers inside of your cunt relentless and not giving you a single second to breathe properly. It doesn't matter to him, how much harder he's making for you to accomplish your task. He basks in it, even. He's proud of how just his fingers are enough to turn you dumb with pleasure.

"I—mh," you try your best to muffle the moans cascading from your lips, to no avail. Even if you managed to do so, the incredibly loud squelching noises in the background would betray you.

"Need a hand?" he laughs dryly, and you feel the faint presence of a fourth finger next to the other three, waiting to slide in and stretch you open further.

"Hoon!" you gasp in surprise.

"That's right, baby. That's who you belong to. Tell Jay."

"I—I belong to—Hoon! I can't!"

His fourth digit keeps prodding around to find a possible entrance, but you're already so full you think any more would actually break you. "How do you plan to let me fuck you, then?"

He's teasing you. You both know you can and you will. It's just a matter of taking it slowly. His finger is suddenly not trying to inch inside you anymore, despite how lost you both are in the moment, your comfort comes first always. It just means Sunghoon will find another way.

He speaks lowly against your ear, but it's enough for your phone to pick it up clearly, "Once I'll split you open on my cock like you've been begging for, nothing else will ever satisfy you. No one else will. Once I claim your little hole, it's mine. Jay's seen how big I am. He knows it too. Tell him whose pussy I'm about to split open."

"Mine." You gasp at a particularly harsh thrust.

"No. Mine." The sheer command in his voice makes you clench even more around his fingers, as if the fit isn't already tight enough. "Try again."

"Yours! It's yours."

"Good fucking girl." He moans against you, his hot breath rising goose bumps all over your skin. "Tell him you'll never go back to him," he adds after a moment, quieter.

The pace he is fingering you at slows down just enough so you can actually get a coherent sentence out, and you're silently grateful for this little show of mercifulness on Sunghoon's part. If not for this, the voice mail would probably end up being an hour long.

"I'll never—mh. Go back to you."

"Good. So good. Now tell him how happy you are with me, happier than you ever were with him. Tell him you love me," he rasps, high on the reassurance you're providing him. High on how obedient you are for him.

"Love Hoon so much, I love him. I love him so so much. Hoon, please." You're a mess, dripping down onto the bedsheets and clamping around his fingers so hard any more would probably cut Sunghoon's blood flow. The more you grip him, the wider you spread your thighs to accommodate him, like you're silently begging for him to be harsher. He has half a mind to fulfill your body's wordless plea.

"Look at you, spreading your pretty legs for me. You like it when I talk to you like this? Does it make your little pussy wetter?"

You're so tight, so wet, and Sunghoon is so impossibly hard. He could cum right there just thinking about how good you'll feel wrapped around him, walls convulsing and milking him for all he's worth with every orgasm he gives you. For every orgasm you bless him with.

A sight for sore eyes, one Jay will never see nor hear. Because as soon as he can sense you climbing up your high, getting so close, your walls fluttering against his curled up digits in preparation and juices plentifully seeping out of you, he grabs your phone and ends the recording himself.

Sunghoon moves, and suddenly you miss the weight of his chest pressing into your back, but the pace of his fingers inside you slows down again. You wail as you feel the climax you were so close to dissipate, and suddenly you feel like invisible ropes are keeping your front tied to the bed. Your back gives in under the pressure, arching in ways that should be uncomfortable but it's the only outlet other than the plentiful sounds being pushed out of you your body has to ground itself in the midst of all the pleasure.

The loneliness your heart feels whenever he deprives you of his body heat for as much as a few seconds has tiny broken sobs and whines lurch out of your throat, but like every single time, Sunghoon is there to soothe you. "I know, baby, I know. Just let me help you feel good. Yeah?"

Even when you're supposedly being punished, he can't help but go a little easy on you, his gorgeous angel. His spoiled baby. But it's okay, because you did such a good job, listened and obeyed to his every command.

Sunghoon's warm breath tickles the skin of your bottom, and his nose brushes up from your mid thigh to your ass, giving you a playful yet gentle bite on the plushy skin. Air gets stuck in your throat in anticipation, but like every single thing he does, he takes his time in savoring all the moments leading up to finally get your sweet taste to coat his tongue like he's craved for this entire time.

You're twitchy and so responsive in his hold, and Sunghoon is enamored with the sight of your fluttering walls trying their best to suck his thick digits in even more. Greedy little cunt for a spoiled little girl. A perfect match.

He watches intently how you react to every single thrust of his fingers inside you, how your knees shake and body flops forward when he bends the tips in just the right direction when you least expect it. He pushes in deeper, and deeper, until you're gushing on his palm, your essence dripping down his wrist and a few droplets down to his elbow too. He registers your every moan, every beg for more, imprints all your sounds in his memory like they're the dearest ones he's ever made.

Sunghoon remembers all your reactions from times you'd consider unimportant, from the little moan when you first bite into anything he's cooked—whether you really like it not—to the way your leg bounces when following the rhythm of a song you said you despised because they played it on the radio too often, to the way your eyebrow twitches when he mentions a name you haven't heard before.

When you catch him with that sweet look in his eyes, staring at you with a toothy grin and canines peeking out, it's because he's watching you and storing everything in his mind, no matter how mundane, no matter how dumb, no matter how silly. It's a no brainer he'd do this in times like these too, even when he's witnessed you come undone under his gaze plenty of times, he doesn't want to miss a single one.

It's not really about learning what brings you pleasure faster and what prolongs it, he's familiar with all of that already, Sunghoon just happens to really enjoy watching you, even if you think it's the most embarrassing thing in the world.

So he does exactly that, inspects you carefully as he keeps fucking you open with his fingers, taking guesses about how hard or deep he should make his pumps, pride blooming in his chest—and cock throbbing in his pants—when you react exactly like he expects. While usually he watches you with a lovesick smile, the grin on his face and fiery glint behind his eyes are different now, hungrier and needier, but every bit as obsessed.

Because that's exactly what Sunghoon is, deeply and unashamedly obsessed with you.

He builds your orgasm up again, brick by brick, flick of his wrist by flick of his wrist, until you're quivering and shaking and begging him to not take it away this time.

"Please," you moan, hand clenching onto the bedsheets beside you so hard you'll be shocked if by the end there won't be a hole ripped in them. "I'm so close."

Sunghoon notices how you hold onto your orgasm, waiting for his approval. It makes his hips twitch forward involuntary, eager to please and eager to give you anything you want. "I got you baby, let go. Let me hear the pretty sounds you make when you cum for me."

It's all it takes for the coil in your stomach to completely snap, and the second your warm walls flutter around Sunghoon's fingers for the first time, you feel a sense of emptiness that lasts only a moment, before you're full again. It's not as thick, shorter but so much wetter, and through the thick fog clouding your mind as your body is overtaken by uncontrollable shivers spreading from your core to every extremity of your body, you realize he just replaced his fingers with his tongue.

Another lightning strike shoots right through you, head to feet, as Sunghoon keeps fucking you through your orgasm with his tongue. You're still fluttering around it and releasing all of your juices right into his awaiting mouth when the ringing in your ears slowly fades, replaced by the downright obscene sounds of Sunghoon slurping up all he can get out of you. It's messy and nasty, the lower half of his face completely coated in your essence but he doesn't care. He wants more.

He moans into your pussy like he's the one being pleasured, and once that single second of bliss between fully coming down from an orgasm and overstimulation setting in goes by, he pulls you in closer when you start moving too much. You're still too sensitive, but if Sunghoon thinks you're greedy, you have to realize he's even worse. Feeling the dull throbbing of your walls as you come around his tongue one time just isn't enough. If it were up to him, he'd have you wet his mouth again and again until you physically can't withstand any more. Until you're barely coherent and slipping into a peaceful sleep, completely tired out.

Sunghoon grabs a handful of your ass with his still dripping hand as he licks a stripe down from your hole into your lips, spreading them open with his tongue to find your clit, throbbing and raw from your previous orgasm. He rolls it between his lips, toys with it with his tongue, uncaring for the way your body pushes away from his mouth. After all the begging you did, you have no business running from it, if you ask him.

"Stay still," he growls into you, both of his hands tied together on your lower back as he fully pushes you down on the mattress with his strength, leaving you nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. He nuzzles his face into you, enveloping all he can get with his warm mouth, sighing and groaning contently with every bit of wetness you gush right on his tongue.

He explores every inch of you, every nook and cranny he can get into, cleaning you up with each lick and wetting you even more with every other. "So fucking good," he moans into you, dragging you back against him when you think you can't physically be closer, when the tip of his nose pushes into your hole and when the only way he has to breathe is through his mouth which is full of you. He pants and gasps against your cunt so much you fear he might suffocate himself just to not come up for air a single time.

Your own face is pushed against the bed, mouth biting down on the cotton fabric beneath you to ground yourself in the immense cloud of pleasure Sunghoon is giving you. He's so lost in your taste he doesn't even remind you to not muffle your sounds, the only thing in his mind is to have you come undone on his mouth once more.

Sunghoon knows he's close to his goal when your little pained whines start turning into longer, more drawn out moans, when you stop running away from his tongue and instead start thrusting yourself back into his hold, back into his mouth. All your senses are ablaze, nerve endings lit and confused but so pleased at the same time. You yourself don't know when the it stopped hurting and became that dull, impending feeling of almost there to something more that both maddens you and keeps you hooked, but you roll your hips anyway in search of just the little nudge in the right direction your body violently craves.

Like always, Sunghoon knows exactly what you need.

"Go on, baby. Touch your little clit for me." His voice is full and rich of that low gravel you barely get to hear, but that has tingles run down your body when you do. "Help me make you cum." Sunghoon lets his tongue run back up from your clit to your slit again, inching closer to your throbbing hole as you let a hand sneak under your body to your pussy, immediately finding your sensitive bundle of nerves.

You're so drenched by now you don't need to wet your hand before drawing circles all over it, dragging it in all the directions you know have your toes curl. Sunghoon likes it messy though, so he gathers a glob of spit and loudly releases it on your cunt, the position making it dribble down right where your hand is working to bring you closer to your peak.

The onslaught of wetness pooling down only adds to the already embarrassingly loud noises coming from your cunt, and you're so wet, your own fingers slip a few times. It doesn't help that your arm shakes under you even when pinned down by your entire body weight when Sunghoon shoves his entire tongue down your hole again, using both of his hands on your lower back to move you so you're fucking his muscle as if it were a toy. His nose drags on your perineum with every movement of your bottom half against his face, and under any other circumstance you'd be mortified, but Sunghoon has a way of soothing you in the most embarrassing situations without really having to do anything but be there with you, like nothing matters in the grand scheme of things when his body is heating yours.

You speed your movements up to match the pace he sets, and with every thrust of his tongue combined with every flick of your wrist, you feel the band in your lower tummy stretch and warm up, until your sight turns searing white and warmth envelops your body from your core to all your limbs in rhythmic waves, first every other second, and then gradually slowing down.

You release on Sunghoon's tongue, and he wastes no time, gulping down all he can manage to, moaning into your heat like he's tasting the most divine nectar. You can't see it as you're busy catching your breath and slowing down your heartbeat as the rush of pleasure dissipates into a calmer buzzing felt all over your body, but Sunghoon's eyebrows crease in the middle, his eyes closed as he commits the taste of your cum to his memory, right beside all the indecent bits of you he treasures in his mind.

Sunghoon pulls his tongue out of you, already missing the way you flutter against it when you come undone, and leaves a trail of pecks all over your bottom, first on the plush of your ass still kept up by his strong hold despite you having completely given up on keeping yourself upright long ago, then all over your thighs, switching from one to the other as he runs a reassuring hand all over your skin, wordlessly soothing you. His palms are big and thick on your thighs as he moves to wrap his hands to the front, steadying you one last time to capture your clit in a gentle suckle, just enough to have your body convulse in overstimulation, but too tired and spent to fight back.

He pulls off of you with a pop after hollowing his cheeks around it one last time. "Did so good for me, baby. You're so perfect."

Without Sunghoon's hands keeping you up, you slump on the bed, completely this time, groaning when the burn in your lower body fully sets in now that you can move it again. It's dull and persistent, and especially fiery right where Sunghoon's hands stayed locked for most of it.

"You okay, pretty? Was I too rough?" He sounds concerned when you take longer than usual to regain your strength, his hands immediately roaming all over your body to massage any sore spot. His touch is light like a breeze but welcome like the sun on a spring day, warming up all the knots in your muscles. The dangerous edge seems to have completely evaporated, only leaving your sweet boyfriend behind. In the moment, it's exactly what you need.

You give him a vague sound of approval in response, but you know it's not enough for him when he gently maneuvers your body around to face him, holding you so carefully one would think him scared of damaging you.

The warm light shining from the night stand casts shadows on his face, but the slight concern etched on his features is bright as day. It's an intimate moment, and you'd giggle because of the sheer difference in his behavior if you had the energy to do so. Instead, you reach for his hand. The same hand that held a bruising grip on you just moments before, the same hand that hit the man who disrespected you.

Sunghoon returns you touch right away, locking your fingers with his as if second nature. You place a featherlight kiss on them, allowing your lips to linger on his salty skin as you speak. "I'm great. Perfect even." It comes out a little raspy, like you haven't fully caught your breath yet, but it's a start.

"Yeah. You are."

"And you? You doing okay?"

Sunghoon gifts you one of his cannot-possibly-contain-it smiles, the ones where he looks down for a split second as his eyes crinkle and somehow smile wider than his lips do. Your favorite kind of Sunghoon Smiles you'd say in the moment, though if you were to compile a list they would all be in the number one spot.

"Perfect, even."

"Hey, that's my line—" you start, but Sunghoon finishes your sentence for you.

"—Don't steal it."

You hum, the taste of skin still on your lips as you bask in the moment for a little, neither of you daring to break the peaceful quiet that wraps like a fuzzy blanket around you. Sunghoon flinches just the tiniest bit when your fingers graze the bandaged scratches, making you ease up your hold on his hand. He immediately squeezes yours to tell you it's okay.

"You know," you say after you let the silence linger for a few more seconds, only your heartbeats and shallow breaths filling the air in the dimly lit room. "You look really hot when you're mad."

Fits of giggles pour in the almost nonexistent space between you—first Sunghoon's, yours following suit.

"I must look super hot when I'm jealous then," he says with that teasing edge in his tone you're all too familiar with. He dips down to catch your lips in a slow kiss, suckling on your bottom lip gently, the corners of his mouth still raised. He hasn't stopped smiling once.

"Absolutely," you say before Sunghoon pecks you again, and then keeps doing it as you try to continue. "And when you're happy—" another peck. "And when you're bored." Another peck. "And when you're—sorry if I say this but you look like a cute kicked puppy—sad.

"So you're gonna keep finding ways to make me jealous, I assume."

It's not meant to be a jab, you know he's being playful. But it stings you just in the right way, and suddenly you're in the passenger seat of Sunghoon's black Bentley again, worrying about having hurt his feelings past redemption.

Like all things you, Sunghoon catches it right away.

"Hey there, it's okay. I'm not upset, baby." Sunghoon's hands are secure around your hips, his thumb running soothing circles on your skin while your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer because it's simply never enough.

"You should be. You're too nice."

Sunghoon presses his lips on your fluttering lashes. "You being a little brat is nothing new. I think I know how to handle you pretty well, don't I?" His breath, minty but also vaguely bitter from the beer still, warms your cheekbone. Sunghoon's proximity to you is intoxicating in ways no amount of alcohol could ever be, and you hate beer, but god, what wouldn't you do to taste it off of his lips for the rest of your life.

Whoever is up there must be gracious because your prayers are answered the very next second, with Sunghoon ghosting his lips on yours, looking at you with tenfold the intensity and fire from earlier, like someone drenched the space behind his eyes with gasoline and lit it up without you noticing it. The switch is so sudden, and by now you should be used to this, but you don't think you ever will. Not when your boyfriend is looking at you like he might devour you whole any moment, and you'd let him. You'd love to let him.

"Act out all you want," Sunghoon says, voice dripping in possessiveness, right against your awaiting mouth. You want to swallow every last bit of it. "Go out there in short little skirts barely covering your ass. Make up all the silly plans you want, even ones where Jay's involved. Let everyone get a good look at you because that's all they'll ever fucking get." His hand reaches for your inner thigh, then folds it to give himself better access. His bulge is heavy and hard against your bare core, the weight of it enough to have you shiver and mewl, but when Sunghoon starts grinding his hips into yours, the noises spill out of you like you have no control over them. "At the end of the night, after you've had your fun, you'll always come back to me. In my bed, soaking my pants with your little pussy because you only get wet like this for me."

It's embarrassing how fast you feel like you could come again, but Sunghoon's hard thickness slides so perfectly over your folds even through the fabric, and the harshness of his jeans catches your clit every so often in such a delicious way. His pants are soaked through in your essence, both of you moaning and panting in each other's mouths so messily you don't even know if it could be classifies as a kiss or a mere exchange of spit.

"You're mine," Sunghoon rasps, like his life depends on it. He fumbles with his pants, depriving you of the mouth watering friction. You make a few noises of complaints, but his teeth are quick to sink into your bottom lip to silence them. "A spoiled little brat. But mine."

The heaviness of him finds your dripping core again, this time so much warmer, only his underwear separating your most sensitive parts from touching. It's the closest you've ever been to feeling his cock on you, and it's overwhelming. Electricity shocks run through your body when he starts moving his pelvis against you, completely coating the already damp material with the mix of your arousal and release. He's not unaffected—his own precum shows up right where the little slit in his tip is, the fabric of the boxers a darker shade of gray there.

"Mine to love, mine to discipline, mine to train. Mine." You don't know wether the hoarseness coming from his throat is due to the anything but proper activity you two are partaking in or simply the raw need for you to really let his words sink in, but the effect it has on you is clear. The proof is right where your cores meet.

You tentatively roll your hips into his, movements emboldening when you earn a few low grunts from him.

"This pussy is gonna be mine too now. Mine to worship and please. Mine to fuck open like she never has been before. I'm gonna ruin you for everyone else. You want that, right?"

You nod frantically, your hips running after Sunghoon's in a relentless chase, like they have a mind of their own.

"Say it. Say you want me to ruin your little hole."

"Ruin it—Hoon, please."

His hips falter when he hears just how desperate you sound, his eyebrows scrunched up in the middle and you can tell he's biting down on his tongue to ground himself. It only encourages you.

You reach for his boxers, wrapping your hand around the outline of his bulge and trying to contain your facial expressions at the reminder of just how ridiculously large he is. You squeeze it with your palm, his eyelids fluttering closed and his chest heaving from your touch alone. You try not to think too much about how outrageously wet the fabric is, all thanks to you. "Please, I need to feel you inside," you beg, arms pushing your tits—now basically spilling out of your dress—together and looking up at him with the most innocent doe eyed expression you can muster up.

Sunghoon's jaw leaps, and you feel like under a microscope as he watches you. "Little minx you are." He reaches for the first drawer of his night stand, rummaging though it quickly before pulling a tiny bottle out of it. It's lube.

"I don't need—"

Sunghoon silences you by spitting right on your pussy, your complaint turning into a whimper at the contact. "You do, baby. You need all the help you can get." Complaining more will get you nowhere but tucked into bed, still needy, horny and with a wet pussy, so you decide to play your cards cleverly and let him do his thing.

You paw at his boxers, fingers dipping into the waistband and trying to tug them down to get to the prize hidden behind. You spread your legs open even more as Sunghoon rips a larger hole into your tights, the veins running down his arms slightly bulging from the effort.

The sudden coldness of the lube dripping down on your puffy folds surprises you enough to rip a little yelp out of you, and Sunghoon's wide palms find their rightful place on your thighs, pushing them against your hips and lower stomach. He takes a good look at your cunt, spreading you open to his liking and leaving no inch of your skin hidden from his sight. "Such a pretty pussy." Your joints still ache and burn from all the exertion they already endured, but Sunghoon's words are like a soothing balm for your body and mind. "Prettiest cunt in the whole fucking world, all wet and ready for me to fuck."

You finally manage to free his cock fully, despite his filthy words sending waves of weakness through your body, and immediately wrap your palm around the middle, mouth watering when your thumb doesn't reach your other fingers. Not only is it way longer than average, it's also thick beyond comprehension, perfectly curved to hit all the right spots in you and so fucking veiny you can feel more slick pour out of you in anticipation. You quite literally cannot stop gawking at it, trying to move your hand up to his tip, just as thick if not thicker than the base, and you gulp as you watch beads of semi transparent liquid pour out of it.

"What is it, baby?" Sunghoon asks, Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he tries to not buck his hips into your hand. "We can stop if you want."

"No!" Your grip around him tightens, earning a gasp and a shallow thrust from him. Your thumb swipes over the head to spread his need all over, making it easier for you to slowly jerk him off. "Please," you add, quieter, afraid he might take the opportunity away from you.

The sight of you laying down so prettily with your much smaller hand enveloping his length, has all the blood in Sunghoon's body rush straight to his groin. He could cum at any moment, just from having you right in front of him like this, but he's set on making it worth the wait.

"You're so fucking hot like this." His hand finds your cunt again, fingers spreading your folds open so he can take a good look at the sensitive bud he loves so much, finding it so swollen he wishes to just bend down and suck on it again.

Once the lube fully coats his digits, he brings them down to your hole again, prodding it just enough to make sure it's slick with the cold essence. He squirts more of it right onto his cock while you keep fisting him as best as you can, spreading the lube all over it until all that can be heard in the room is the loud squelching noises and both of your heavy pants and low groans. His fingers keep rubbing your folds, coaxing more of your own arousal out of you, the feeling so distracting the pace you set on his cock falters a bit. To compensate, you add your other hand too, milking him with both at the same time.

"Fuck yeah, just like that," Sunghoon moans, and he looks divine above you with his lip caught between his teeth, gaze flickering from where his hips have started fucking into your fists, to where his fingers are playing with your pussy, like he cannot decide which view is best.

His cock throbs in your hands every time your hold tightens or your movements get faster, and you're stuck watching every reaction. His chest heaves, sometimes he looks like he forgets to breathe and then he has to make up for it. His cheeks are flushed, and when you notice how his bangs are sticking to his forehead because of the sweat accumulating on his hairline, you suspect he might be close.

"Gonna come?" you ask, battling your lashes at him, hoping he'll do just that from your hands alone. That's enough to wake him from his daze, and you almost regret asking when he breaks free from your hold and stops playing with your pussy.

The disappointment is short lived, because without wasting any time, Sunghoon brings your legs close together around his cock and sets both of your feet on one of his shoulders. He fucks your thighs just like that, with slow thrusts, making sure to slide his cock between your folds and let you feel every single vein running down his length. "You'd love that wouldn't you? Me coming all over your pussy. You're so fucking messy."

The shirt still covering his torso leaves close to nothing to the imagination now, clinging to every ridge of his abs and chest because of the sweat, and you're basically drooling at the sight. The feeling of Sunghoon's cock between your thighs and on your cunt is too much for you already, clit throbbing with need every time his tip catches on it, balls pushing against your hole every now and then, but you make the mistake of looking down when his thrusts get faster, and the view you're met with has you absolutely obsessed.

The head of Sunghoon's cock peeks out from your thighs every time his hips move forward, red and leaking so fucking much on your lower tummy it looks like he's cumming all over you already. But then it just keeps going, reaching close to your belly button, and when his head rests right on it, your mouth goes slack. It's one thing to see how big he is normally, but to have it compared directly against you, it makes the room spin in circles and your body feel even weaker. You need him inside you now.

"You like the view, baby? That's how deep I'm gonna be inside you, how deep I'll be fucking you," Sunghoon laughs, a little manically, and you hate how much it turns you on, like you need to be any more than you already are. "You'll feel me riiight here." He stops his thrusts to tap his cock on your stomach, the sounds of the tiny slaps reverberating through the room. "All up in your guts."

You gasp out his name when his hips go back to working his cock between your thighs, in an attempt to get his attention, but he already knows what you want.

"I know, baby. I know. Just a little more I promise." His gaze flicks up to meet yours, watching you intently for any sign of discomfort, any indication that you might want to stop. He knows it's unlikely—Hell, he's sure you were about to beg him to fuck you for the nth time that night just now—but he needs you to be absolutely sure. The weight on his chest, the slightest hint of uneasiness looming over him despite all the excitement fades in the background when all he finds on your face is pure lust, unfiltered need for him.

The pace slows down a little, and Sunghoon keeps eye contact with you as he speaks with his full lips brushing the skin of your ankle, giving you a few kisses there to ease up any anxiety you might feel. "Are you sure, pretty? We can wait a bit more. We don't have to—"

"Hoon. For the love of God just put it in or i might actually die within the next two minutes."

An amused wheeze tickles your skin, followed by a gentle nibble right where his lips kissed you. He rests your legs back down while he still kneels on the bed "Alright, alright."

He's spent all this time preparing you, telling you to take it slow for your own well being, but as you watch the way his eyes hesitantly shift focus around your body, you think maybe he's not the one ready yet. "Hoon?" you catch his attention, voice meek but it's like music to his ears, always.

Sunghoon hums in acknowledgement, but he looks deep in thought. His thumb follows the ridge of your jaw to your chin, then swipes over it a few times as if to encourage you to continue.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Had a change of heart? Weren't you just about to die a few seconds ago?"

"I'm asking you."

He exhales, then bends down to place a soft kiss right on your parted lips. "Of course I'm sure. I'm just…" He trails off, but you already know what he's thinking.

"You won't hurt me," you say, keeping eye contact to really get the point across. "Besides, even if you did. I'd enjoy it a bit."

The corner of his lips lift up, and you know you've finally cracked through him. "I suppose you would."

His elbow rests by your head, while his other hand grabs his cock and gives it a few pumps in preparation—not that he needs it, Sunghoon doesn't think he's ever been this goddamn hard in his entire life. "Give me a few taps anywhere if you want me to stop, if it helps you can bite me when it hurts." He positions himself, hand still guiding his tip to your leaking entrance, but doesn't push in just yet. "Where should I cum?"

You're about to lose your mind, hips slowly rolling against his tip to try to coax it inside of you and he's still talking instead of doing something about it. "Huh?"

"Where do you want my cum baby? You won't be able to talk when I'm fucking you."

The sheer seriousness in his tone has shivers run down your spine, but you don't dwell on it too long. "Inside. Anywhere you want just please—Oh my god."

The sting of his tip slowly pushing in stops you from finishing your sentence. It's a mild discomfort for now, but the feeling of it stretching you open is better than any of the toys you and Sunghoon experimented with could've ever provided. He's just getting started, but your mouth is already ajar, and more wetness seeps out of you when your boyfriend rewards you with the most beautiful moan you've ever heard.

"God, it's like she's begging me to slam all the way in." His thumb swipes over your clit in circular motions to help you ease up so the first few inches aren't too harsh on your poor drooling pussy, and even though the tip isn't even the entire way in, the sight of his cock slowly disappearing inside your heat quickly shoots up to his favorite spot. "Deep breaths baby, remember what I taught you—No, don't tense up, it's okay. You've got this."

Your eyes roll all the way to the back of your head, pleasure and discomfort blending into one slowly as he waits for you to adjust. How are you supposed to not clench around him when he's encouraging you like this? It's beyond you.

Your hand shoots to grab Sunghoon's muscular biceps when he starts moving again, and he stills right away, waiting with bated breath for the taps to come.

They don't.

"Is it all in yet?" you ask, because truly, you feel so fucking full already, fuller than you have ever been. But the amused look on Sunghoon's face tells you exactly what you need to know.

"I mean." He moves a little more, and the burning—even if eased up a bit by all the juices and lube coating both of you—resumes. "A little more than the tip is."

"The tip?"

"The tip." Sunghoon thrusts out gently before pushing in again, both of you moaning at the same time. "I can fuck you with just that, it's enough to make you come harder than you ever have." He doesn't wait for you to tell him what to do, opting to give you shallow thrusts to test the waters, his thumb never parting from your clit.

The way you shudder and the little sweet sounds you make because of his tip alone has his stomach knot in all kinds of ways and his cock leap and throb so much it fucking hurts. Sunghoon would want nothing more than to shove it in and claim you fully, mold your pussy around his girth so perfectly no one else would ever be able to give you a cock half as good as his—like he would let that happen in the first place.

You're writhing under him, legs kicking a little when he feels the slide in and out slowly get more comfortable and slippier. That doesn't mean you're not clenching around him so hard he could cum at any given moment, but for your own pleasure—and his, really. He wants to shoot his load as deep as he possibly can—he tries to hold off to the best of his capabilities.

But fuck if it's not the hardest thing he's ever tried to do.

He almost breaks when your own hand reaches down for the one working on your pussy, smaller palm attempting to cover the back of his and to coax it into moving faster. There's a bit of drool on the corner of your lips, and you look so wrecked already, Sunghoon hates how a shiver runs down his spine at the mere thought of how you'll look like when he's balls deep inside you. "Hoon—fuck. I want more."

He coos at you, pretending he's not a wreck himself, pretending the thread thin sliver of sanity he has left isn't the only thing preventing him to fold your legs all the way up to your chest and fuck you into oblivion, but the arm next to your head shakes with restraint, and the knuckles on his fist are ghostly white by now, even if you're too blissed out to pay attention. His voice is shaky, uneven, but his words are careful and patient, even when you'd rather them not be. "We gotta get your pretty parts used to it first baby, come like this just once, it's only the last stretch."

Your whines turn into moans when his movements on your clit fasten and his tip nudges inside you a little deeper, just enough to momentarily satisfy your craving for more.

"Aren't you a greedy little thing," Sunghoon rasps, holding back his own impending orgasm with all his strength, beads of sweat now rolling down his neck deliciously, and you kinda wish you could bend forward and lick them off of him. "Asking for more, and more, and more after the stunt you pulled today. My pretty baby," his thumb pushes more forcefully on your bud, making it hurt so good for a second as you adjust to the pressure, then giving you harsher drags, meant to have you come undone and quivering under him in no time. "So desperate for cock you just had to go ahead and try to make me jealous. You like it when I'm jealous?"

You gasp, nodding frantically as you feel the familiar knot in your stomach tighten more and more, an embarrassing amount of slick pouring out of you and running downwards.

"You're so fucking lucky this is the first time we do this," his voice is rough, an octave lower than usual. "Or I would've bent you over and fucked you so silly the second we got home without stretching your pretty pussy open. But I'm so kind. Thank me for it."

You clench hard around him at his words, toes bending because you don't know what else to do with all the pleasure coursing through you, and he gives a gorgeous deep groan in response. "I'm gonna—"

"Then thank me for it."

You come around him hard, harder than you ever have, thank you's pouring out of your lips like a broken prayer, entire body shaking head to toe from the intense orgasm. The buzz in your ears persists for a while as you try to come down from it, and you can see but it feels like you can't, like your brain isn't registering any of the images your eyes capture. Bright, static, dark spots, so many things at once. It feels like you blacked out for a second even if you didn't, all your senses dulled to make space for all the other sensations your climax provides.

When you slowly start to regain power over them, you're met with the sight of Sunghoon panting like a dog, eyes closed and fist wrapped around his cock, the head poking out and redder than you've ever seen it, looking like he just ran a fucking marathon. Somehow, he managed not to cum. He was so close though, so close he had to pull out the second your walls started to involuntary flutter around him or he would've been done for.

The tight black shirt is still clinging to him like a second skin, and the first coherent thought of yours after the fog around brain clears is to get him out of it as soon as you can. You tug at the hem, still panting and blood buzzing from the release. "Off."

Sunghoon doesn't answer you with words, but he rips the shirt off his torso, throwing it somewhere on the floor behind him. His hands are shaky as they travel from your waist to your hips, then reaching your thighs, spreading you open further in front of him and allowing him to take a look at the big mess you—both of you, really—made. Sunghoon's cock is rock hard, tip oozing enough precum to make all the prep you've endured so far pointless. (Not really, you know better than that.)

Sunghoon goes back to nudging his tip on your hole, just holding it there without pushing in quite yet, casting a last questioning glance your way because he needs the reassurance that you're okay with this one last time before he fully commits.

When you nod, he slowly eases himself back into you with a low moan accompanying the motion, this time his gaze holding yours. The face you make as his tip stretches you open makes it a hundred times harder for him to keep his chill, wanting nothing more than to say fuck it and pound you stupid like you've been begging him to do ever since things first got handsy between you two.

The burn isn't nearly as bad as it was the first time, leaving space for so much more pleasure to course right through you, and you can't help the relieved sigh that leaves you when his tip is fully back inside you again, like it's a need for you to be filled by it. And Sunghoon sees that. He sees the fire in your eyes, the greediness slowly pooling behind those pupils he loves so much, how your hips look for his even if taking any more in hurts.

His hips jerk forward more than he intends them to, but he can't help it, not when you're looking at him like he's the prey. More of your wetness coats him, and both of you loudly moan into the night.

"You feel so fucking good, baby," Sunghoon whines, actual tears filling his waterline because he can't believe how much you're gripping him, pussy fluttering around his girth with every little bit he pushes forward, welcoming him like no one has ever done. "Tightest little pussy ever."

The hold on your thighs is bruising, but it helps you stay at least a little grounded so you wouldn't have it any other way. Whenever you think you're too full and cannot possibly take anymore, you feel a little more of Sunghoon's cock slide in you, so you get on your elbows with what little strength you have left and take a look for yourself. He's barely halfway in, and the burning sensation is starting to set in again. It hurts, but it hurts so good, you need more and you need less at the same time.

"Yeah, that's right, angel. Watch how your greedy needy cunt swallows me." Sunghoon's eyebrows are creased, sweat now not only dripping from his scalp, but little droplets constellating his broad chest, following the paths preset by his sculpted physique, all the way down to his vline. A mouthwatering sight.

"So full," you sigh, eyes never leaving from where you're connected, clit throbbing the more he fucks his cock into you, begging for a lick of attention.

"You'll be so much fuller. Can you behave and handle that for me, mhh?"

You bite down on your bottom lip, nodding along to his words and sneaking down your hand to play with your clit when you come to the conclusion that Sunghoon's hands are way too busy gripping your plushy skin like his sanity depends on it.

"Smart girl," he praises.

The wetter you become, the easier and more pleasurable the slide is. Sunghoon watches you for any sign of unbearable discomfort, slowing down when you bite your tongue or picking his speed back up when you bless him with those precious needy whines of yours. "You're doing so well, my gorgeous girl. So fucking amazing, making me feel so good already, God, you're perfect."

His words of encouragement play a big part in easing the pain for you, soothing you enough to make it easier for you to not tense up when his cock nudges a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. Your hand flies to your lower belly and you swear you feel him right there, so much deeper than you've ever had anyone—or anything—be.

"There we go," Sunghoon puffs out like he's been holding himself back from breathing this entire time, his pelvis grinding against your folds deliberately. And you finally realize he's all the way in for the first time ever. "Squeezin' me so tight, are you scared I'll run away?" He pulls back a bit before fully thrusting inside again, the curve of his cock aiding in making him hit all the right spots you could've never reached yourself. "No fucking chance. Not after I've got a taste of this. Gonna fuck your pretty pussy open every fucking night, until I've trained her to take me in without any complaints."

He sets a slow pace, not wanting to overwhelm you just yet, then adds, in a softer tone, "Does it hurt too bad, baby?"

If he keeps the back and forth up for much longer, you're gonna end up getting whiplash. But between groans and higher pitches sounds, you manage to answer him. "Any more and you would've popped me like a balloon."

Sunghoon giggles as he bends down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss, hands finally loosening his grip on your legs and traveling all over your body. "You begged, and begged and—"

"I'm not complaining, am I?" you ask, breaking the kiss and resting your forehead on his, the saliva string connecting you two shining under the warm light of the lamp. "Harder."

Sunghoon complies instantly, speeding up his movements and giving you actual thrusts instead of the messy mix of grinding and nudges he'd taken a liking to. His hot, wet mouth finds your neck, too greedy and selfish, in desperate need of hearing the beautiful sounds you make instead of swallowing them down. His tongue skates over your pulse point, a shiver traveling down your entire body when he gives you the lightest nibble right there before licking it up again in apology.

"I can still taste you in my mouth." His breath tickles the wet skin of your neck, your front arching into his when goosebumps appear all over your exposed arms. "Always want to—mh, taste it. You'll let me eat your pretty pussy again after you gush on my cock?"

Even if you want to reply, you really can't, not when the pace he's drilling into you at is knocking the air out of your lungs, and the bolder his movements get, the more you understand why he asked where he should cum before even staring. You want to look at him, take in every expression on his beautiful face, but the pleasure is too much to handle and the only thing that seems to help is closing your eyes and letting them roll back into your skull.

Your lips are raw from all the biting, and you're so incredibly thankful when Sunghoon's hand swats yours away from your clit to replace it, allowing you to sink your fingers into his broad shoulders, clawing at them with every languid thrust he gives you. He feels so perfect, filling you up to the brim and then some more, stretching you out so fucking good you suspect you won't ever be able to scratch the itch if not with his cock.

"I'm in love with this fucking pussy, baby," he moans, loud and unapologetic, making his way with open mouthed kisses down your neck, then following the line of your clavicle, only to dip down between the valley of your breasts. Your tits have spilled out of the tiny little dress due to bouncing around with every precise thrust Sunghoon gave you, and your nipples are perky and hard, begging for his attention right in his face.

"And your tits, fuck. So pretty, I'm gonna eat you right up." He licks a stripe on one of your hardened buds before enveloping it fully between his lips and sucking on it lightly, sighing contently into it when you push your tits on his face further, loud whines spilling out of you.

The very familiar band in your tummy starts to tighten again the more he works on your nipples and clit at the same time, thrusts never once faltering. All of your senses are heightened to such a degree you don't even know what to do with yourself anymore if not lay under Sunghoon and let him absolutely ravage you, not a single thought but 'feels so good' crossing your mind. But it's fast, too fast, and you want it to last for longer, want Sunghoon to keep fucking you for hours until the only word you remember is his name.

You try to push his hand away from your clit, only earning a reprimanding yet gentle bite on your nipple, a warning. "I c-can't."

"Can't what, pretty girl?" He rolls your nipple between his lips, lapping away the tingling sensation the nibble left on it that has you jolt in his hold. "Use your words."

You throw your head back in frustration, feeling the impending climax approach you once again, the nth that night. "Don't want it to end," you gasp, using up all the strength left in you form a coherent sentence.

Sunghoon coos at you. Fucking coos at you only to deepen the strokes of his cock inside you, angling his hips to reach even deeper. "Cum for me baby, I'll just keep fucking you."

Your thighs shake as they wrap around his waist to pull him closer, his hips switching to grinding his cock into you instead of thrusting it, the fat tip poking the most delicious sensitive parts of your heat. You gasp and wheeze, claw and scratch and draw blood from his skin but it never hinders or stops his strokes. You clench around him time and time again, wrapping around his cock so nicely Sunghoon can feel his own orgasm build up in the pit of his stomach.

You come around him with a silent scream, every single part of your body twitching under him as he keeps fucking into you, now chasing his own high. He still takes a moment to watch you and how beautiful you look at the highest of your peak, eyes glazed over and mouth hung open, sweaty skin glistening so beautifully he wishes to be a painter and capture it forever. It's a sight he's never gonna grow accustomed to, and it has his stomach twist in knots. "That's it baby, so fucking gorgeous, keep cumming for me like that, milking my cock so well."

Even in the aftershocks of your orgasm, your body looks for his, hips rolling into his as if to silently ask for him to cum inside you, now that your voice has completely failed you.

"Just a bit more. We're almost there, my perfect little baby, so good for me," Sunghoon is babbling too by now, so damn enamored with the sight of you trying to keep your twitching under control even though you're still cumming around him and teetering on overstimulation so he can fully savor his own high. "The most perfect angel girl ever. I love you so fucking much."

Your head is light and Sunghoon's words reach you as if in slow motion, muffled by your own blood buzzing in your ears. You're completely drenched, and the bedding underneath you is too, but neither of you can bring yourselves to care. The slide is not painful anymore, and everything feels so warm and slippery, you never want it to end.

The image of Sunghoon still grinding and fucking his cock into you, his pace now reduced to a desperate mess and nowhere near as precise as it was, clears up slowly as your ears stop ringing, but your pleasure never does. You don't know if you're still cumming or if Sunghoon fucking you just feels this good you can't tell the difference, but you feel like you're on cloud nine and lighter than you've ever been.

Sunghoon's torso is completely glistening, and you feel some of that slick coat your skin too when he bends your legs into you, folding you against the bed and hitting even deeper inside you.

You're a moaning mess as he pistons his dick inside your heat, dragging perfectly against your gummy walls. You look down and see a bulge poke your lower tummy with each deep stroke of his. The sight alone is enough to have you on the edge again, but it feels different this time, like you cannot possibly contain what's about to happen.

"Hoon—"

"Shh," he silences you, hair a sweaty mess and dripping all over your figure. The squelching sounds of his skin slapping against yours, connected by white strips of slick on both of your thighs get even louder when his pace gets faster, the hand that played with your clit suddenly pushing down on the bulging of your stomach. "Give it all to me, soak my fucking dick—fuck, I'm gonna cum baby, gonna cum so deep inside you."

You cannot stop the dam from breaking, juices shooting out of you so suddenly you're taken aback too, coating his entire lower abdomen in it. Your cunt throbs around him so hard, almost like it's trying to push his cock out of you. You can't think of anything, cannot fathom anything that's not Sunghoon, and his perfect cock, and how good you feel, going completely limp on the bed.

He moans louder than you at the sight of your wetness drenching the bed and his cock. "Fuck, take it all baby. I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm—"

His hips stutter one final time against you, burying his cock deep inside you and shooting his seed in multiple thick spurts as deep as he possibly can, filling you up perfectly. He dips down to catch your mouth in a messy kiss, panting into your mouth even as you two are still both trying to catch your breath from your orgasms, but your lips on his are all the oxygen he needs.

"I love you," you whisper into the kiss, your words finally having found the way out of your throat again.

Sunghoon hums, his body weakened and tired but still hovering above you instead of slumping on you. "I love you more." He gives you a sweet peck like he wasn't just putting you through the matters moments ago. "You were perfect, baby. Did so amazing." He lets his body go beside you on the bed, dragging you between his arms and grimacing when the wet mess you made on the covers touches the back of his body. "A rag won't be enough."

You smile, weak but content. "And who's fault is that?"

Sunghoon pretends to think about it, but from the look on his face you can tell the answer is ready on his tongue. "I think it might be yours for being too hot I couldn't help myself."

You swat your hand on his chest, but there's no force behind the gesture.

"Aaand for making me jealous."

A groan leaves your lips, your arms coming up to cover your face. "How am i gonna ever face Jay again after this."

Sunghoon's chest vibrates against your skin. "You'll think about that after I clean you up."

You make a low noise of complaint, rolling over to push yourself on top of your boyfriend's body, hands resting on his toned chest as you reach for his huge cock and slowly sink yourself onto it, head thrown back in pleasure even if it's not fully hard anymore. Sunghoon's breath catches in his throat as he watches you lower yourself against him again, your head finding refuge on his shoulder. "Later."

You stay like that for a while, breaths slowly synchronizing in the peaceful quiet, Sunghoon's cock comfortably nested in your heat while his fingers lazily ghost over the entire expanse of your back. You could fall asleep at any moment, but you raise your head one more time to look at your boyfriend, his half lidded eyes meeting yours instantly. "You did not strike me as the type of guy to edge himself that much."

"Just go to sleep."

BONUS

You roll over to tentatively search Sunghoon's bedside table, ignoring the sound of the lube bottle hitting the floor, until the cold screen of your phone meets your spread hand.

Sunghoon is snoring lightly behind you, his nose nuzzled against your nape, and you hope to not wake him up as you unlock your phone. You recoil when the light that feels like a million suns momentarily blinds you, but even that is not enough to discourage you from completing the life-or-death task ahead of you.

You open up messages—promptly ignoring Jay's "never do this shit again. you two are nasty."— and click on Jungwon's chat, not wasting time to watch the several unloaded video files sitting in it (you can easily recognize the blonde silhouette of Jake's hair in half of them, so you're free to assume it's nothing of particular importance anyway) to type a quick text.

05:34 AM. You: mission accomplished ;p (cancel the hiking thing we planned for next week unless you carry me yourself. your girl can't walk)

Shockingly enough, he replies within the minute.

05:35 AM. twin: you shameless being (a whole week is crazy)

05:37 AM. twin: whatever, but I'm dragging you out for brunch so you figure out your means of transportation yourself. we need to catch up

05:38 AM. You: crazy night for both of us i assume

05:38 AM. twin: oh you have no idea

[hanasnx]

Heyy <3 dunno if it's gonna echo something in your inspiration, but I was thinking a Nightwing thing, like with vigilante reader and they coincidentally get stuck in a tight space on a mission to catch the riddler. I don't really have much more but yeahhh (love your Clark fics btw i- 🛐)

MINORS DNI 18+

NOTES: DC is for December Event! — request DC characters.

“It was your idea to follow him…” you accuse, and flick your head to the side to sweep the hair out of your face while your hands are stuck.

“Oh, and it would’ve been a better idea to stay there and play sitting ducks?” NIGHTWING matches your energy, and when you neglect to respond, merely occupying your gaze with the surrounding walls in a leisured peer, he looks for a way out. Limited mobility affords him some advanced peripheral vision, but there’s not much else to do than try to slide a direction together and hope for the best. The problem is you’re practically painted on him. Chest-to-chest, the two of you can barely breathe. “If you could just… you could try to..” His suggestions trail off as he lets you finish the sentences, following his lead. His shoulders shifting down, carefully shimmying while the material of his suit catches on the texture of the wall. In an attempt to rearrange the puzzle pieces of your body, you raise yourself on the tips of your toes.

“Like this?” you confirm, right before your foot gets caught on his, and out of instinct his hands fly to you. The only area that they can reach, however, is the space of your outer thighs, and you gulp because his aid to steady you is reminiscent of intimacy. Your lips press into a thin line, and neither of you say anything, the silence filled by your conjoining panting.

Once you’d slipped, the swell of your chest now rests on the apex of his, and your cleavage sits in his immediate view. His eyes visibly widen, and even through the whites of his mask you can tell he’s averting them. The warm breath of his nose washes over your tits pressed up against him, and you know he’s so close he can feel your nips peak in the cold night air. It’s humiliating.

The shame of it blooms a deep heat on your cheeks, and it drives you to take the lead from him. You shift, the gravel under your shoe filling in some silence while you move in your panic. “Let me just—“

“—Don’t move—“ he says, but it’s less of a command, more of a plea.

“—No, if I can just get—“ As you fight for room, he tries to accommodate you, his hips backing up with nowhere to go but bumping back into yours.

“—Wait—“ he responds, firmer this time.

“Trust me!” And as soon as your outburst ends do you feel a new sensation. The hands on your thighs or his chest pushing up yours is all old now. This is entirely unprecedented.

You both fall completely quiet, and completely still. An unmistakable outline nudges your inner thigh as it fills itself out, seeking a warm and wet home an inch away from its head. It creeps towards you, and that familiar feeling pools in your core like its greeting an old friend.

“I told you not to move.” he sighs, and you can hear the frustration masking the embarrassment in his voice.

[fishnapple]

What to embrace more within you

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

Clear quartz 

Losing control is not something you are willing to face and accept. Circumstances might lead you into unknown paths that you have no control over. But you tend to resist them with all your will. You want what is graspable, what you can understand, and can hold in your hands firmly. You avoid uncertainty and ephemeral existences, because they signal an inevitable ending.

You're protective of what is dear to you. You're willing to go hundreds of miles for those you love, but with a price. They should safely stay in the nest you build for them. You may not realise that you want everything, everyone in your life to stay in one place, predictable. You care a lot, your love is large. That is something you need to always treasure within you. But there is a childlike spirit within you who longs for adventures, to just let go of the burden of keeping everything in control. The more you learn to let go of your grip, the more wind you let in to push you forward. You can still care for others, but instead of keeping them behind safe fences, you can help each other to go out into the world, safely, with support. Life knows how to take you to where you need, you have the ticket, you just need to step on the train.

Carnelian 

You have an image to keep, a reputation to uphold, a ground to protect. All of these keep you in a narrow path without much branching, no getting sidetracked, no exploration. Sometimes, you're your own worst critic. You shut down any grand ideas that you have immediately, for fear that they would make you yearning for more, for a more free existence. 

You have a lot to take care of, lots of responsibilities that stoop your shoulders down, keep you legs dragging heavily. You want to run but you're afraid of being lost, of running over the edge with no one to catch you. You have many wonderful ideas in your head that you don't share with anybody. Prefer to keep them stay silently inside. Ideas that would fulfil you more.

What you need to embrace is your vision, no matter how outlandish, how crazy you think it is. You're so used to normality. Let some bizarre thoughts have their space inside you. Don't shame yourself, don't limit yourself. The more you embrace strangeness and unpredictability, the easier it is to make a decision, to go on a different path. Embrace them with nonchalance, if fear creeps in, greet it but don't let it become the master of your inner house.

Sodalite

The message is about embracing your "voice", both your speaking voice and the voice you hear in your head. You have a very intuitive heart that can often show you the way, if only you just listened to it. You might disregard it as wishful thinking, delusional fantasy or irrational fears that try to sway you from what you want to do, or to mislead you into the path of failure. You don't trust this voice enough, so when you have a brilliant idea in your mind, you're your own worst skeptic, you swallow back the ideas, refuse to let them see the light. This can be interpreted by another person as a taciturn nature of yours. 

Speaking loudly might make you uncomfortable. Maybe you tend to stop mid-sentence or take too long to speak your opinion. You might feel that others don't let you speak, they all seem much more confident and assertive than you're. But that's just your perception. In fact, if you're able to get over the barriers of your mind, when you're able to speak freely, you have the ability to captivate people with your words, your voice. There's a force within that when used right, can completely change people's perception of you for the better. Look for merry interactions, where you can laugh freely, talk and exchange ideas without fear nor shame. Get yourself used to the company of people, but not just as a passive listener but an active contributor of the conversation. Slowly, you will find your voice much more lovely, much deserved to be listened to.

Aventurine

I see a lot of movements but also obstacles in the crystals, as if movements are being stifled. The restlessness inside you need an outlet. It's not something you should feel shameful about, not something you need to control with iron fists. Your life seems to be rooted in one place, one routine for quite some time, day after day, nothing much happens that can stir the stillness of it. You don't want to disturb the peace, in a way, you feel content with your current situation, even though there might be some hardships here and there, but overall, you feel safe in it. Yet, you instinctively know that, your life can't go on like that forever. You want to change, to break free of the mould, to walk the many paths that are available to you. You can see far ahead, but your feet are still reluctant to move. 

Embrace your desire to change, to travel and experience life. If you feel restless, bored without knowing why, maybe consider changing something, going away for a while, or even changing your living space. I see a wanderer beneath the seemingly stable surface. Drastic changes might momentarily scare you, but they're also very alluring. Heed their calls sometimes and you will find your fortune turns. 

Strawberry quartz 

There are some habits of yours that you might want to reexamine their usefulness. Your energy feels a little timid, pliable to others will. Not that it's something bad that you need to change, but consider how much you take in other people's ideas and feelings, assimilating them into yourself. Sometimes, you need to separate the influence of others from your core self. Question what's really true, what's really valuable to you.

The message is you should embrace more of your inner rebel. You might readily accept an idea, an opinion or a viewpoint without questioning it too much. You don't want to stir the water of any connections that you have. Showing disapproval, opposite ideas or being aggressive is not welcomed by others, or so you believe. But the truth is, the more you go against the grain, the more spontaneous and random you act, the more connected you are to yourself and to other people, that's your charm. People always admire those who know their own minds, those who dare to go after their visions. If you don't feel too confident with your mental power and think that you never learn and know enough to express yourself in conversations, know that's not true. You have something valuable to bring to the table, that's your unique view of the world.

Amethyst

This might sound weird but you should embrace your more selfish desires sometimes. I see a lot of burdens on your shoulders, almost like you're living for everyone else but you. Your every action is done with consideration for others, you think about the impact, the consequences of your actions greatly, sometimes, to the point of being paralysed and passive. You don't want to hurt others, you don't want to feel like a burden to others, yet you're so willing to shoulder others' burdens. Your charitable spirit is your gift, but also your curse. You hardly have the time for yourself. 

You need to embrace the child within you, the one who needs abundance of care and joy. It's okay to voice your needs and wants, to set aside responsibilities for a while so that you can spoil the part within you that is so in need of love and fun. This also influences your love life. Love can be too heavy, too intense in your eyes, you feel like you always need to do something, to "save" the connection from going downhill. This attitude sucks out the lighthearted fun of love. The child within you craves for a simple love, to feel love with their all and not to have constant anxiety and duties lingering on their heart.

[devotedsweetheart]

・❥ CALEBS FAVORITE KINKS !!!

▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊|• 0:10

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ rundown :: a list of what i think are calebs top 5 kinks !

WARNINGS :: NSFW! 18+, incest , oral sex , bondage , collaring , orgasm denial , porn w/ no plot

a/n :: these are not in order !! :)

1. INCEST :: now, this might seem a little bit overboard , but to caleb ? it's nothing new . after knowing you for so long ... growing up together , living in the same house , sharing everything with each other .. it's like a normal thing to him. so normal to the point where he'll call you his 'sissy' during different times of day . " sissy , could you grab my water from the table for me ? thank you, love . " it just rolls of the tongue !! especially during your alone time, too . it slips out more than you or him could count . when he first moaned it he never even payed attention to it , thinking of it as nothing . it was only when you gave him a look that he couldn't quite read did he notice what he accidentally said . "o-oh my god pips im.. im so sorry. that was fucking weird and i shouldnt have said it... im a damn pervert." shame flooded his face ... but he knew it would happen again , whether he could control it or not .

2. BONDAGE :: listen , he doesnt want to be tied up because hes horny , it's because he trusts you so much ... and that kind of turns him on . the fact he can willingly submit to you and trust you without having to worry about what you're doing . although he likes to be restrained , he'd never do it to you .. only if you asked him . he'd do anything you asked for (within reason) , whether thats strapping you to the bed with ropes , chains , a belt (his) , cuffs .. whatever you please . all he's worried about is them scuffing up those pretty wrists of yours . "nono wait baby .. your skin, it's red . do you need me to stop ? i'll stop right now for you , you look like you're in pain . let me kiss it better pips .." is what he'd say on any other occasion .. but the times when you didnt look so in pain , thats when his freak comes out . "you cant run away silly .. stop trying to run from me . i wont allow it , and neither will those restraints you begged me to use on you . i actually quite like the way you look right now... all tied up and cute for me ."

3. COLLARING :: i feel like this is the most canon you could ever get . he'd seriously be into making you wear a collar for him , wanting everyone to know who you belong to & to not try with his girl ! also , he'd want one with a bell .. just so you couldnt escape without being noisy ;) . buuuut he's up for wearing one for you as well , he also wants to let people know who he belongs to . i think he'd get one for the both of you regardless of you wanting one or not , his need to get people off of you is too strong, as he is alarmingly obsessed with you . the collar isn't just used as man repellent , it turns him on so fucking much . knowing that you're practically his property gets his dick hard to the point of ache , he'd definitely make you wear it during sex . mumbling incoherent sentences about how much he loves the way it looks on your gorgeous neck .. how he never wants you to take it off . "as long as you're here, with me, you aren't touching it . fuck , you're so good for me .."

4. ORGASM DENIAL :: hear me out . it's late at night and he notices your location isnt on ... he texts and calls you multiple times without an answer . eventually , he tracks you down and confronts you about going out without his knowledge / consent . after he's done scolding you , that night , he'd drag you into his car as soon as he could & not let you cum . he would adore hearing you beg for him , solely because it feeds into his desire for you to need him as much as he does you . he wouldnt be too fond if you ended up doing it to him ... maybe as revenge or something , but nonetheless , he would be in pieces . pleading , begging , writhing , all of the above just to feel your perfect cunt squeeze around him one more time so he can cum . he would never put his hands on you , but he would just get so desperate ... he might have to move you himself !! at that point , all he would manage were whimpers and prayers . "ohmygod pips please .. im sorry! okay! im sorry .. i can't take this anymore baby , i need to cum . i need it so fucking bad ."

5. FACE SITTING :: caleb takes "the best way to die is by thigh" way too seriously . he would happily pass away while in between your thighs ... he loves eating you out so much it's kind of concerning . the moment his lips are on your core hes not letting up until you've cum over and over again on his face .. hes addicted to the taste of you . his deep obsession with your juices is so bad that he has to have you suffocating him , almost breaking his nose , using his face as a toy ... he can't get enough . i think this roots from the fact that he jerks off to your voice all the time & that makes him so attached to all your moans . especially when you call out his name while you cum .. he thinks about those moments way too often .

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ in conclusion :: caleb would really do whatever you asked , aka hes into anything , but these are the ones he really enjoys . <3

[angelsforthenight]

professor!caitlyn would just be oh so unruly. so sickly unprofessional that you'd get all queasy from all the butterflies she's given you. who knew there'd be a professor like that in your prestigious, victorian-esque university?

content warning (18+): SOME PROPER FREAKY SHIT, written porn under the cut, professor/student taboo, age-gap, s&m: spanking, power play, dom!caitlyn, sub!reader, degrading, praising.

you were extra bad on purpose today: putting your feet up on the desk so she'd be able to catch a glimpse of your underwear, smacking your gum as loudly as possible whilst blabbing loudly to your friends. caitlyn really had enough of your blatant pleas for attention. it was frankly rather embarrassing seeing you act like a child whilst everybody else was serious about getting work done and building their futures.

which is precisely why caitlyn decides to take a more... hm, let's say, vintage route. she believes these kids today have just got too much smoke up their ass and need to be brought down a notch — to endure the same punishment she had to go through in her days.

so here you are, in all your shame yet perverse glory, bent over the desk whilst she smacks your ass with a ruler again, and again. simultaneously forcing you to repeatedly write down on your notebook 'i will not be a bad girl.'

you've written the sentence three times so far, and each time you're done, caitlyn smacks you with the ruler harder. you flinch and a whimper punches out of your throat, the pen threatening to rip the flimsy paper apart.

'another.' caitlyn commands, her deep voice reverberating through your very core. it's getting harder and harder to write, but you force yourself to scribble the same sentence again. there it goes, smack! and you drop your pen, your head unable to hold itself up anymore.

but alas, caitlyn does not let you remain like that for long: yanking you back up by the hair and smacking you harder.

'keep writing.' her voice is firmer, sharper. your fingers shake, handwriting getting messier and messier within each turn. cait coos in mock-pity, her fingers resting its onslaught and settling in gentle rubbing instead, purposely close to your pussy that is pathetically, pathetically wet right now.

your thighs tremble in anticipation whilst caitlyn explores you with her fingers. a violent shudder rips through you when you feel the tip of her fingers stretch the edge of your cheeks so she can get a better look at your now see-through underwear.

'what disappoints me the most is how you find this arousing. what a sick girl.' she tuts, moving your panties aside and shamelessly smacking the raw flesh. you yelp, a weak 'i'm sorry' somehow leaving your lips. a passionate alone-time with professor kiramman will leave you like that fortunately unfortunately.

you hear the sweet sound of caitlyn's chuckle behind you. 'good pet. that's all i wanted to hear.'

only then does she allow you to properly get off: slim, nimble fingers easing into your sopping heat like a landslide: three fingers at a time. she whistles at how well you take them, whilst you writhe and mewl in pleasure: fingers scrabbling at the desk and knocking over a few papers.

caitlyn sucks in a breath, as she leans in real close and whispers sweet little endearing terms into your ear, ones like 'i wish you could see how well she's taking me' and 'you seem like you're enjoying it, hmm?' whilst you can only moan and drool out your words in response.

such sweet punishment, and if it's always going to end like this then you can't help but fleetingly think what other things you can do to get on caitlyn's bad side again.

note: today i watched bloodsisters (1995), a lesbian documentary about s&m and got seriously inspired, i recommend you guys to watch it! it's really good ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩) this is sauurrrr freaky i hope it's not too controversial or anything lolololol

[glowettee]

✧・゜: self-discipline doesn't mean hating yourself into action :・゜✧:・゜✧

hey lovelies! ✧

i've been thinking about this a lot lately… how did we all collectively decide that being mean to ourselves was somehow the path to getting things done? like, who started this toxic rumor that self-discipline means internal screaming and punishment? because honestly? i spent years believing that the only way to accomplish anything was through this weird self-bullying technique and it was literally the least effective approach ever.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the wake-up call ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

last semester i hit a wall with my essay project. i had been doing that thing where you stare at your laptop, call yourself lazy in your head, promise to work for 8 straight hours to "make up for it," then get overwhelmed and watch netflix instead. but one night at like 2am (why do all realizations happen at 2am??) i wondered what would happen if i just… stopped being mean to myself about it?

what if self-discipline was actually about being the most understanding friend to yourself instead of the worst drill sergeant?

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ what actually works ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

start ridiculously small, i'm talking embarrassingly tiny steps. want to write that paper? commit to just opening the document and typing a single sentence. need to clean your space? just put away three things. the magic is that once you start, continuing feels so much easier.

create environments that make things easier, not harder. i rearranged my desk so everything i need is within reach and visible. stopped trying to work in my bed (even though it's so comfy) because my brain associates it with sleep and tiktok scrolling.

acknowledge the resistance instead of fighting it. when i feel that "i don't wanna" feeling, i literally say to myself "i hear you, and it makes sense you feel that way. what's one tiny piece we could do?" talking to myself like i'm my own bestie changed everything.

use curiosity instead of judgment. instead of "why am i so lazy?" (which never helps), try "i wonder what's making this hard for me right now?" sometimes the answer surprises you. maybe you're actually just hungry or need better lighting.

build in rest BEFORE you crash. i started scheduling actual breaks before i felt desperate for them, and somehow i get more done? it's like my brain knows it's not going to be held hostage forever.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the permission slip approach ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

my favorite technique lately has been what i call "permission slip productivity" where i literally write myself little notes giving permission to:

work imperfectly (first drafts can be messy!)

take breaks without guilt

change my approach if something isn't working

celebrate small progress instead of only the end result

acknowledge when something is genuinely difficult

there's something so powerful about physically writing yourself permission. it sounds silly but it works because it interrupts that mean inner voice that's been programmed into us.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the results speak for themselves ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

the wildest part? i actually get MORE done now that i've stopped the self-hate productivity method. turns out your brain works better when it's not being constantly criticized? who knew!

my essay (very big essay) got finished early. my room stays cleaner. i actually enjoy my study sessions now instead of dreading them. and most importantly, i don't feel that heavy cloud of shame following me around everywhere.

self-discipline isn't forcing yourself through misery, it's creating systems that work WITH your natural tendencies, not against them. it's about making things easier, not harder. it's about treating yourself like someone you actually care about.

and maybe the real glow-up isn't just checking things off your to-do list, but doing it without sacrificing your relationship with yourself in the process.

what about you? have you been trying to hate yourself into productivity? might be time for a gentler approach. you deserve that kindness from yourself. (and honestly? it just works better.)

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[ihatethecrowdsyouknowthat]

legally single - spencer reid x fem!reader

on a walk of shame after a frankly devastating breakup, reader gets stopped by coworker spencer reid and he offers her a ride home

genre: hurt/comfort wc: 1.1k warnings: break up, reader wears makeup and heels, mention of vomit, unhealthy coping, protective spencer, anxiety a/n: based off the beginning of legally blonde!!! yes i wrote this instead of my requests

Heels click on the damp sidewalk in a way that feels mocking. Like a toddler, you sniffle with a humbling pout on your pink lips. You ignore the burning in your feet because you fear it’s your punishment for having so much faith in a person. It’s ridiculous, you know, but if it wasn’t for blind optimism and high expectations you probably wouldn’t be crying on the side of the road. But you don’t know if it’s fair to hate yourself for something that’s not actually your fault at all. You’re not the one who uttered the words I think we should break up. No, that was him.

Unsympathetic too.

Each syllable took an eternity to actually fucking leave his lips. Like it was all an elaborate plan to humiliate you publicly. Or at least that’s what it felt like.

It was a long relationship that ended neatly with one very simple sentence. It feels like a cosmic joke created only for the purpose of you becoming the butt of some–any–joke. Unfair.

Every car that drives by ignores your presence. To them you probably look like you’re taking a walk of shame. Maybe, in a way, you are. One car doesn’t ignore you, though. An old one that’s white or pale yellow. You barely finish the thought that it looks familiar before you see the figure behind the wheel.

He calls your name but you don’t respond. It was embarrassing enough when you were alone.

“Do you need a ride?” he asks.

You just keep on walking. His eyes flick down to your shoes, dampening against the wet concrete. You can’t even remember when it rained last. He doesn’t let you go, slowly driving alongside you until you answer.

An answer he’ll get.

“Go home, Spencer,” you grumble, squeezing your hands into fists at your sides.

Unfortunately, he knows you. “You’ll ruin your shoes.”

He’s right. But you’re not happy about it.

You get in the car, never once allowing your eyes to meet his purely for the very big reason that you’re humiliated. Because of how he does nothing but simply drives, you think he’s okay with the silence. Awkward silence is discussed so often that every time nobody speaks, you feel uncomfortable. This might be the first time you’ve been comfortable in the quiet.

Whatever that means.

The silence only lasts so long, however.

Spencer glances at the smeared makeup under your eyes. “You don't need to tell me what happened but… just know that I’m sure you're better than whoever you're crying over.”

Your eyes finally and cautiously meet his.

That boyish look that shows that he simultaneously wants to make you feel better and show he cares makes your heart sink. You hate yourself for feeling. For having a reaction to what’s surely a friendly gesture. Your stomach swirls with uncertainty.

You know he cares about you, that much is obvious just by how he acts around you. Almost like he has to physically restrain himself from stepping between you and something potentially dangerous. The small kink is that, for him, everything is a threat of danger.

His mind works in a way you’ll never understand. One simple scenario has hundreds of outcomes, each one of them assessed by him in detail. With that ability, he’s able to create alternate realities within his brain. Some of which are affected by his fears. If he can think it, it can happen. So he puts himself a few sacred steps in front of you. Every time.

Because, if anyone was getting hurt, he'd rather it be him. It’s simpler that way.

So, yes, he cares about you.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

It’s like the words register in him differently than they would to someone else. Because he looks at you like he wants to fix you so you never have to say thank you like that ever again.

You never thought you’d want a man to fix you.

The eyes you know so well seem to follow each microexpression on your face. While driving.

Somehow.

The familiar lead-up to your apartment building makes your stomach curdle. In a way that makes you feel like an expired bag of milk. You’re not sure why.

You think you might throw up.

That is, without company. 

Every time you look at the man to your left, you feel oddly at ease. Maybe he could be of service tonight. You mean, you haven’t been alone with a guy since you started dating your ex.

Ex.

It’s when he stops the car that you can’t hold it inside. The worst he can say is no.

“Spence… I really don’t want to be alone…,” you pause for a beat, looking down at your heels, “would you maybe want to come in?”

Your eyes anxiously survey his, searching for whatever it is that means he’ll say yes.

“Just for a minute?” you ask.

The gold in his irises is almost completely swallowed by his pupils, blown wide to accommodate the darkness. He considers it with a bitten bottom lip. His jaw stays stiff until he finally nods.

You try to hide the relief lacing your sigh and just get out of the car. After any emotional day, your advice is to simply go the fuck to sleep. Perhaps it's hypocritical of you to write that advice off as not relevant in this case. Perhaps you’re acting out because you think it’ll make everything go numb. It’s as if you have no control over your body because you know this is a bad idea. You know you shouldn’t be inviting your coworker up to your apartment when you’re in such a vulnerable state.

But you just don’t care.

When your feet hit the first step up, you can’t think of another way you’d be taking such a step. Having Spencer here feels like you have something tethering you to the outside. So you’re not just lonely in a place where you once were in what you thought was love.

That never meant Spencer belonged here, though.

His very presence makes you feel softer but it makes him feel indescribably lost. He wishes he could read the situation better or maybe even have the courage to ask you. His silhouette lingers in the open doorway like he knows he has a decision to make. A decision he would’ve made better any other time. 

But it’s after ten pm and he never said he was strong.

[viperify]

Congrats on 1k im so happy for you girly ❤️

Can you do brother's bestfriend with "look me in the eye when you lie like that" and "don't stop. Don't you dare stop"?? With smut if alright.

I fucking love your works and the way you write tom? Ugh so good 🤌🏽😩🛐

1k celebration | ᴛᴏᴍ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ x ᴍᴀʟꜰᴏʏ ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

₊˚⊹ Home Alone.

Short Summary: He is your brother’s best friend. And, ironically, also the only person who seems to care about you—taking care of you when your parents aren’t home.

Warnings: 18+ only! dubious consent. manipulative and toxic!Tom, naive!reader, deepthroating, rough oral m!receiving

A/N: Thank you for your kind words and for requesting, baby!!! I am so glad you’ve been enjoying my works! :33 I love you so much <333 And ahhhh I have been so so lazy with my requests, I am so sorry. It’s so hard for me to write atm. And I have my graduation tomorrow + I gotta start packing for my vacation. I love you, thanks for being patient🥺

wordcount: 1,6k

in this fic, you will find HINT NR #8 AND #9

“It’s a mistake, Tom. Us, I mean.” You mutter as he stands right before you, arms crossed. You don’t even dare look up at him, trying to get it over with as quickly as you can. “We can’t go on like this. If anyone finds out—“

He cuts your sentence short by grabbing your chin, tilting your head up so you are forced to meet his gaze. His expression is closed, jaw tense—air around you thick with tension. Tom waits just a moment before he speaks—letting it linger—the control he has over you even without words.

“You certainly did not sound unhappy just yesterday when you were screaming my name in your parents’ bed, did you, doll?”

Heat flushes your cheeks, and you avert your eyes at the memory.

—

It shouldn’t have happened—him and you, in your parents’ bedroom. But when his hands slipped under the hem of your dress, eager lips hastily trailing kisses down your neck—your brain short-circuited, and the nearest bedroom had to do.

Which—unfortunately—happened to be your parents’.

You weren’t even supposed to be home alone. But being Abraxas’ younger sister meant sitting out on family travels more often than you would have liked. You’ve always been in his shadow—and your parents don’t care quite enough to make it any better.

An unexpected event led them to leave for the weekend—and you were instructed to stay home and study. Or do whatever—in the end, they have never really cared. 

Mostly, that is. 

Your Potions grades haven’t been great as of late. Even failed one or two exams—and oh, what a shame that was on the Malfoy name. You didn’t get to hear the end of it for weeks.

So, instead of leaving you to yourself, they informed you that “one of Abraxas’ friends” would visit to tutor you while they were gone.

One of Abraxas’ friends. Just for one day.

While it was abundantly clear who they were talking about, you hoped it wouldn’t be him—Tom. 

Memories resurfaced—memories of the countless shared nights in the library when he spared you ten minutes of his time during prefect duties, the prefect’s bathroom he unlocked just for you, but always insisted on joining you…

Luck has never been on your side.

Also not now.

He didn’t leave after the first day. Not after the second either. It’s Sunday evening now, and he is still here. And you can’t help but grow more and more nervous at the thought of your parents seeing you together.

—

“Hm? Cat got your tongue?” He drawls, thumb caressing along the soft line of your jaw. “Tell me then. That I mean nothing to you.”

Tom knows exactly what he is doing—that you would never want to disappoint nor leave him. He’s got you wrapped around his finger. Abraxas’ little sister, naive enough to do anything and everything he wanted. Being your parents’ second choice, it was easy enough for him to make you feel wanted and special—even if he merely gave you an ounce of attention.

You attempt to swallow the knot that has formed in your throat. “I— It’s not right, Tom. I don’t think we should continue seeing each other… like this.”

He scoffs at your vague attempt to talk yourself out of the situation, squeezing your cheeks tighter. "Look me in the eyes when you lie like that."

You do look up to meet his eyes—and stumble over your words when you try to speak again. They feel as though they burn your skin as he stares down at you. A reminder.

You don’t repeat it. Because deep down you know he is right—that it’s a lie.

After all, Tom is the first person to care for you. Make you feel wanted—

“Thought so,” he murmurs, letting go of your face, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You don’t want to disappoint me, do you? Make me angry? That’s not necessary, right?”

You shake your head no, immediately regretting bringing it up in the first place.

“How— how can I make it up to you?”

A grin tugs at the corner of his lips as he leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, breath ghosting over your cheek, voice dropping to a whisper. “Be a good girl for me and kneel, will you?”

Your eyes widen at his words, expression twisting into one of uncertainty.

“But— they are going to be back any minute, I—“ you try, stumbling over your words as his gaze sharpens, eyes darkening as they bore into yours.

“Don’t you appreciate what I have done for you?” He asks quietly, tone strict—not how he usually talks to you—rather how he talks to Abraxas and the others. “Came here to help you study. Comforted you. Made you feel good. Don’t you think it’s time to return the favour?”

“I do, Tom— I just—“

He is the first to appreciate you for who you are.

He makes you feel wanted.

Loved.

Cared for.

“Get on your knees. Now. I don’t want to hear another word.”

So you do.

Your skin scrapes against the rough wooden planks as you drop to your knees in front of him, your hands already fumbling with his belt, undressing him in a hurry.

And Tom enjoys every second of it.

The way your fingers shake slightly as you free his cock, already half hard when you wrap your hand around his base, stroking him up and down a few times.

“Go on, open your mouth for me, sweetheart.” He instructs, hand cupping your cheek after tapping it gently. You obey, parting your lips and wrapping them around his length, swirling your tongue around the flushed and sensitive head, tasting the saltiness of his precum on your tongue. He groans lowly as you do, fingers tangling in your hair.

One of your hands rests on his thigh, the other wrapped around what you can’t take—but Tom isn’t satisfied, slipping his cock from your mouth, a string of spit connecting to his tip as your eyes meet his.

“You have taken more than that. Come on, darling. Don’t want to disappoint me now, do you?”

Before you even get to answer no, he thrusts back inside, heavy on your tongue—waiting. You try to take more, take him deeper—but barely half way inside, you gag around him and pull back with a whine.

He sighs, both hands now fisting your hair. “Dumb little girl. Open wide and let me do it.”

He pushes past your lips with practised ease. Slips deeper—inch by inch—until your nose is flush with his abdomen. You splutter around him, nails digging into his thighs—but he doesn’t let go until a few seconds later.

Tom guides your head, slow at first, yet firm. Pushing deeper until your throat constricts, tightening around him. He doesn’t let you adjust to his pace—never.

“That’s my good girl. Look at yourself taking me so well.” He praises, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as he hits the back of your throat with every single thrust. 

It’s degrading, it’s addictive—the way his hands guide your head, using your mouth for his pleasure, deriving pleasure from your submission.

But it’s all worth it when you feel him getting closer—your name slipping past his lips in a silent prayer—telling you how good you are to him, how pretty you look stuffed with his cock.

You don’t want to stop, not now. Lips puffy, throat sore—yet, you are determined to make him feel good. Just like he did.

But just when he is about to cum—footsteps.

You pull back as far as you can, shaking your head—voice a whisper. “They are home. We should—“

“Don’t stop. Don’t you dare stop.” Tom hisses, taking a step forward. His fingers tighten in your hair—almost painfully so as he pushes back inside your warm mouth, instantly hitting the back of your throat, gagging sounds filling your bedroom. Your complaints are muffled by his thrusts, hips stuttering as his breathing grows ragged—and the next moment, with a few more thrusts, he spills down your throat. Only pulling out when he feels you swallow around him—lips curled into a smirk.

He lets you catch your breath, wiping a single tear from your cheek. “That’s how I want you. Nice and obedient, hm?”

You nod, looking up at him with glassy eyes—and he scoffs when he sees what he’s made of you in mere minutes.

“Filthy girl,” Tom purrs, thumb swiping over the mess on your chin, pushing the mixture of your saliva and his arousal back past your lips. “Clean yourself up, hm? I will buy you some time.”

And a few minutes later, when you go downstairs to greet your parents—he is still there. His mask is back up—acting as though nothing has happened.

“Your daughter was in desperate need of more lessons, so I decided to pay another visit. I am sure you don’t mind.”

That’s what he tells them.

You nod in silent agreement, eyes fixed on the marble tiles beneath you.

That’s all they need to hear before averting their attention.

What you do catch—the slight smirk tugging on Tom’s lips.

Taking in your expression from across the room—quiet and obedient. Hair dishevelled, lips still swollen.

Just how he likes you.

thank you for reading! feel free to reblog and leave feedback <3 — masterlist. | 1k celebration. <- event masterlist.

©2025 viperify. please do not copy, translate or claim my work as your own.

[coldfanbou]

Kinkcember Day 1: Maids

And so we begin this crazy month with a G!P Jihyo. Needed to say that as a warning.

Length: 2K

G!P Jihyo x Mreader

You look around your apartment and sigh. It was filled with empty boxes from packages you had long since opened and other trash. A sound at the door gets your attention, and you walk over; a flyer is at the front, slid underneath your door. “That’s the last thing I need,” you think to yourself before picking up the flyer and turning it over. “Maid Service” was written in big, bold letters across the top, and pictures of women in the stereotypical maid outfit were pictured under it. You look back at the mess in your apartment before considering calling the service. You think about how much work it would be to clean everything up and sigh before looking at the flyer again. “What’s the worst that can happen?” You say aloud before grabbing your phone and calling the number.

A woman picks up the phone on the other end, happily greeting you. “Hello, and thank you for calling Smile Maid Service. How can we help you?” 

“Uh, Hi, I’d like a maid to come over.”

“Of course, sir. Do you have anything that is particularly messy, like a kitchen or bathroom?” 

“No, nothing like that.”

“Okay, thank you, sir. Give me a moment while I get you a maid.” She tells you that you hear some typing in the background before she comes back to the line. “Okay, I just need a little more information. How long would you like to use our service?”

You glance at the mess and consider how long it might take someone to clean it up. “About three hours,” 

“Okay, and what is your address?” You give the woman your address, and after a minute of typing something, she updates you. “Alright, you’re all set. We’ll have our maid Jihyo go over; she’ll be there in thirty minutes. You will make your payment to her; she can take cash or a card. Thank you for calling Smile Maid Service. Have a wonderful day.” The woman hangs up, and you sit down in your living room. As you wait for Jihyo to arrive, you look around and feel embarrassed to have such a mess when someone is coming over. You break down the boxes, laying them on one side of the living room while you wait for Jihyo to arrive. 

There’s a knock on the door. You look at the clock; it must be Jihyo. “Smile Maid Service, Jihyo here!” You hear being shouted from the other side. You walk to the door and open it. Standing before you was a short woman dressed just like the women on the flyer. It’s frilly around the bottom and tight on the top, giving a nice shape to Jihyo’s chest. She steps inside and looks around without missing a beat. “Thank you for hiring me; I’ll get started right away.” She says with a smile. Seeing the flattened boxes on the ground, she picks them up, heaving them over her shoulder, and takes them to the trash downstairs before coming back to clean the room.

“You can rest; I’ll clean up here.” Jihyo huffs as she takes a deep breath. You sit back on the couch, watching Jihyo work diligently as she cleans your apartment. You can’t help but stare at her; Jihyo was beautiful, and the maid outfit made her look better. You were getting hard watching her work. “Hey, Jihyo.”

“Yes?” Jihyo turns around to you, flashing some money in her face. 

“Could I see you work with your tits out?” You ask bluntly. 

The sudden request takes Jihyo aback, and she takes a moment to recover. She glances at the money before shaking her head. “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t—" You pull out larger bills before she can finish her sentence. 

“How about this much?” Jihyo bites her lip as she stares at the money before her. It’s no small amount. She hangs her head as she agrees, feeling shameful as she takes the money. Jihyo turns around, reaching behind her back and finding the zipper to her dress. She pulls it down slowly, her lavender bra showing as she stops just above her waist. The young woman unclasps her bra, holding the large cups against her chest before pulling them away from her body. Jihyo's chest heaves as she takes in a deep breath. 

“Happy sir?” She says with a slight smile. You nod, and Jihyo soon returns to cleaning, her tits jiggling as she moves from side to side. Jihyo begins to make a conscious effort to slow her movements in an attempt to stop her breasts from moving. 

While she’s doing that, you stare at her tits, noting her hard brown nipples. Jihyo continued to work, growing uncomfortable at the attention she was receiving. She was getting hard at the attention you were giving her, a small tent forming on the lower half of her outfit. Jihyo tries to continue working, but her dress gets in the way. You notice the small tent and bring it up. “Jihyo, it looks like your dress is getting in the way. Why don’t you take it off, too?” You tell her, flashing even more money her way.

She gives you a slight nod and places her hands on the zipper of her outfit, lowering it slightly before moving her hands around to her waist and pushing the maid outfit off her body. Jihyo's hard cock was barely restrained by her panties. As much as she felt embarrassed by the situation, Jihyo was also getting turned on. It was the first time someone had wielded their power over her like this. “You know what? Take the panties off, too. I want to see you naked.” You tell her, adding more bills to her growing pile. Jihyo doesn’t resist, bending herself over and removing her panties. She stands back up slowly and continues working around the house, naked, her cock still hard and twitching as she imagines what you’ll have her do next. 

When Jihyo leaves the living room to clean another room in the home, you take the time to strip down, and when she returns, she immediately notices. Her eyes remain glued to your cock for what seems like forever; her own cock twitches at the sight, but soon enough, she manages to pull herself away and continue her work.

You stroke your cock as you watch the young woman. Jihyo can’t help but glance at you; her body feels warmer whenever she does, and she finds herself in more revealing positions as she cleans. Jihyo would bend over when she cleaned the lower shelves over your bookcase, giving you a good view of her body, or as of now, she was squatting between your legs, cleaning the coffee table in front of you. She rose slowly, allowing you a close look at her ass. 

You struggle to resist touching her and eventually give in to your desires. You spread Jihyo’s cheeks and dive in, running your tongue around her puckered asshole. Jihyo moans instantly, her cock twitching as she’s hit with a sudden rush of pleasure. Jihyo uses the table to support herself as she fills your home with her moans. She curls her toes and reaches for her cock, stroking it slowly as she feels your tongue push into her ass. “Oh, fuck,” She groans, moving her hand faster. She didn’t care that she just met you; you’re giving her money and pleasure.

Jihyo thought about how she could get used to it. She pushed her hips back, letting you snake her tongue deeper inside of her. Jihyo began to stroke her cock quickly as she felt herself get closer to cumming. You pulled one of your hands back and slapped her ass hard, a loud crack filling the room, followed by Jihyo’s moan. She bit her lip and began whining; her cock leaked precum onto her hand as she got ever closer. “I’m cumming; oh god, I’m cumming, she moaned. Her legs became weak, and she struggled to stand. You stood up and held Jihyo’s body up; your other hand went over her,s and you began to stroke her cock quickly. Jihyo’s whines only got louder as you pushed her over the edge and made her cum. You sit back on your couch, bringing Jihyo onto your lap as you continue to stroke her cock, milking more of her cum out of her.  

Jihyo turns her head slowly, pushing her lips outward for a kiss.  You grant her one, snaking your tongue into her mouth as you move your hands to her tits and squeeze them, enjoying their softness. You break the kiss quickly and grab Jihyo’s dirtied hand, bringing it up to her lips and forcing her to taste her cum.

Jihyo’s muffled moans continue as you play with her body. “Sir, hold on.” She groans, “Sir, do you like my body that much?” When you give her nod, she continues, “I’d be happy to quit my job and be your personal maid if you keep paying me as much as you have.” You consider her offer, running your fingers over her hard nipples as you think about it. “Master, please,” she whispers, rubbing her ass against your cock. 

It’s enough to make you agree, “Alright, you have a deal. Now why don’t you put those tits to good use.”

Jihyo smirks and climbs off your lap. She kneels between your legs and cups her tits, bringing them to your cock and surrounding it. Jihyo spits on her soft mounds and begins to rub your cock, spreading her saliva around her tits and your cock. “Is this good, Master?” 

“Yeah, real good,” You groan. You shut your eyes and enjoy the feeling of her tits moving up and down your shaft. You don’t react to Jihyo wrapping her lips around the tip when it pokes through her tits; you just enjoy the experience. Jihyo pumps your cock between her tits quickly. When you open your eyes again, you see her using her nipples against the tip of your cock. “I think that’s enough, Jihyo. I want you.” Jihyo rises and offers herself to you, climbing onto the couch and bending over the armrest. 

She shakes her ass for you, “Fuck me, Master,” she says in a sweet voice. You come up behind her and press the head of your cock against her puckered asshole and begin pushing. Jihyo groans as she feels your cock start to fill her guts. Inch by inch, you move inside her, stretching her tight asshole around your cock. You play with Jihyo’s tits, enjoying the large mounds while Jihyo strokes her cock. Her moans fill the room; Jihyo’s eyes roll into the back of her head as the pleasure overcomes her. Her entire body tingles as you begin to thrust. 

Jihyo’s walls cling to your cock, squeezing you roughly. Every thrust takes a lot of energy out of you but gives you more pleasure in return. You spank Jihyo roughly, every smack turning her ass a deeper shade of red. As you make her walls slick with her saliva, your thrusts become faster, and you drive your cock deep into Jihyo’s ass, making her cry out in pleasure as her incoming climax torments her.

Precum covers Jihyo’s hand as she strokes her cock; her whines become loud as she struggles with the immense pleasure. You pull on Jihyo’s nipples, mixing in some more pain. “I’m cumming, Master!” she cries, forcing her eyes shut as she feels the tension in her body explodes. Jihyo spurts cum into her hand again as she cums. You feel her wall tighten around your cock, making you grunt as you feel your orgasm coming. 

You continue thrusting and move your hand down to Jihyo’s cock, gripping it tightly before stroking it quickly. Jihyo grimaces as you overstimulate her. Your quick strokes bring Jihyo to another climax as you slam yourself deep inside her ass and fill her with your cum. You turn Jihyo’s head and kiss her, happy that you spent the money on her. “You’re going to live here now, Jihyo; I’m going to need you at all times.”

Jihyo smiles and nods at you, “Okay, Master.”

[vanesycho]

kinktober day 1 [mirror sex]

|masterlist|

warning:smut without a plot,fingering

Yuta, who entered the room, looked up from his phone and looked at you for a while, you were sitting at the end of the bed looking at the mirror in front of you doing your skin care before going to bed. He threw the phone on the bed randomly, then he got behind you, you gave him a smile, he smiled the same but only he knew it wasn't an innocent smile. He pulled your hair, exposing your neck, gave you a small kiss, you felt him whisper in your ear "You smell so good." You laughed in return for his compliment and turned to him, gave him a small kiss on the lips "Thank you my love, the new shower gel I bought. I think I'll use this from now on because..." he honestly didn't even listen to what you said, his hand roamed your legs, your sentence was cut off when he started caressing between your legs "Yuta- are you listening?"

He looked at you from the mirror "Get on my lap." You didn't understand what he said at first, he laughed briefly when he realized you were looking at him questioningly. "Stand up and then sit on my lap, baby." You didn't hesitate to do that, when Yuta got to the end of the bed you were about to sit on his lap but he stopped you "Take off your panties." you pressed your legs together, seeing you paused, Yuta looked at your face "Are you going to stand there or do I need to help you?" his hand went to your shorts without waiting, pulling you closer and placing a small kiss on your belly while taking off your shorts and panties, your body shivered for a moment, Yuta grinned seeing the effect of even a small kiss "Cute."

He then made you sit on his lap facing the mirror, his fingers didn't wait and went to your pussy immediately, even though you wanted to close your legs, he separated yours with his own legs "Ah-ah, are you trying to hide your beautiful pussy from me? You better not." he said the last sentence in your ear in a whispered tone, making you swallow hard. Yuta looked at the mirror, two of his fingers slipped inside you easily due to your wetness, he let out a deep breath "Fuck- you're this wet and I didn't even touch you. Yet trying to hide it from me." his other hand went to your chin, squeezing it lightly and forcing you to look in the mirror "If you take your eyes off the mirror, good things won't happen to you, do you hear?" You couldn't answer, you just nodded in agreement. He placed a small kiss on your cheek. "Good girl."

His hand moved down from your chin to your neck, not squeezing too hard, just staying there. His fingers started to move in and out of your pussy in a certain rhythm, the wetness wrapping around his fingers, making Yuta lick his lips in pleasure. Your breathless little moans reached his ears. Your voice got louder as he started to speed up his fingers, looking at your body shaking from the speed of his fingers. “Ah...Can’t you handle just two fingers, baby? Does it feel good?” You couldn’t answer, he slid his third finger into your pussy easily, only grinning when he heard a small cry. “So needy and cute...Look at how nicely you wrap around my fingers.”

He squeezed his hand around your neck lightly, your eyes were slightly open but you could see what was happening clearly in the mirror. Your juices were already starting to flow down your pussy, Yuta’s hand moved down your neck and started to play with your nipples this time. His fingertip gently traced circles around your nipple, your erect nipples satisfying him even more. He looked at the mirror again, his hand was still rapidly destroying your pussy "Please..I'm close..Yuta-" he looked at how you can barely speak between your moans and laughed, spoke in a mocking tone "Are you close already? What a shame..I was just starting to enjoy myself."

His fingers continued to hit your pleasure point, you heard him muttering curses as your juices flowed from your pussy. Your eyes closed from the pleasure and you leaned your head on his shoulder, he couldn't help but laugh at how exhausted you looked even for his fingers "Are you going to cum on my fingers, baby? Are you that needy?" The sentences he whispered in your ear were driving you even crazier, when your moans got louder he realized you were getting close, he bit his lower lip, his own breathing was also irregular. A few more hits on your pleasure points and his fingers were filled with your cum, he watched it flow away. Yuta slowly pulled his fingers out of you, watching how your legs were shaking, you closed your legs, eyes still closed and you were resting tiredly on his shoulder.

His chuckle reached your ear "I should have done this sooner, fuck." he whispered to himself, you opened your eyes and looked at him, he gave you a small kiss on the lips "Are you tired already? I told you I was just starting to enjoy it so now turn around and lift your ass for me baby. I need to see how I fuck you with my dick."

[cressidagrey]

It's a Love Story - Chapter 5

Summary:

Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.

Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.

And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

“Where’s Az?” Mor asked as Nesta and Cassian entered the dining room at the River House.

“Busy,” Cassian said with a shrug, as he pulled out the chair for his mate, greeting the rest of their family with a smile. 

Mor cocked her head, a small frown appearing on her face. "Busy?" she repeated, a note of curiosity in her voice. "What's he up to?"

Busy. That had been Azriel’s answer to nearly everything after Koshei. Busy.

Even quieter than usual. Keeping away from all of them…and Cassian still heard that one sentence echo in his head. Better me than you. Like somehow Cassians life was worth more than Azriel’s.

Azriel was just being noble and self-sacrificing as usual, right? Cassian knew that his brother didn't really think that way, didn't really believe that his life was worth less than anyone else's. But still, the words haunted him. He couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, somewhere, he had let Azriel down. That he hadn't been there when his brother had needed him the most.

Maybe he should have tried to talk to him...when it all went down… but then he hadn't realised what exactly was even going on, until Nesta had flatly laid it out for him one evening. Azriel had gotten over Mor only to fall in love with Elain...and that hadn't ended in his favour either.

Cassian grimaced just thinking about it. Azriel deserved to be happy. Azriel deserved a mate that loved him, a female that fucking adored him…and instead his brother had fallen not just for one, but two unavailable females. 

And Azriel hadn’t complained. Not once. He had never let it show.

He always kept his emotions hidden under that stoic mask of his, like he was afraid of letting anyone see how much he was hurting. Cassian knew that Azriel would never ask for help, that he would never admit that he needed someone to talk to. But that didn't mean that he didn't need it. 

Cassian just wished that he could find a way to get Azriel to open up, to let him in…that wouldn’t involve beating him to a bloody pulp. 

Azriel acted like everything was fine. Azriel acted like he didn't care. Cassian knew that it was a mask, knew that it wasn't the truth...but Azriel liked to pretend it was...and maybe it was better to let him pretend. 

It wasn't like he was hurting anybody with it, right? He was doing his work just as well as he always did...and if he wanted to spend his free time reading Sellyn Drake books, maybe they should just let him do that…maybe it made him feel better. 

"Maybe he's seeing his secret girlfriend," Cassian drawled.

Mor snorted at that suggestion. "Please," she said with a roll of her eyes. "As if Azriel would ever have time for a girlfriend, let alone a secret one."

"You would be surprised," Cassian muttered under his breath. Apparently Azriel had time for reading Sellyn Drake novels while locked into his room, after all. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mor wondered. "He has been...distant lately," she said with a pout.

Cassian could only stare at her. Mor couldn't be serious right now, could she?

Of course, Azriel was distant to her. Mor had fucking broken his heart and trampled on it to top it off. And Cassian had helped her with through the years. He probably owed Azriel an apology for that as well.

And still, Azriel hadn’t complained. Azriel hadn’t called them out. Azriel had taken it silently. Had even congratulated Mor when her Mating Bond with Emerie had snapped. Had been painfully polite, making painfully sure that he didn’t cross any lines, didn’t make Emerie uncomfortable in any way. 

"Just leave him be," Cassian said with a shrug. "He's reading Sellyn Drake novels, he'll be fine,” he waved her off. 

Rhys nearly spit his wine over the table and instead started coughing violently. "Azriel is reading Sellyn Drake novels?!" he asked Cassian with an incredious stare.

"Apparently he has trust in Nesta's taste of literature," Cassian answered easily.

Mor raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Sellyn Drake novels?" she repeated, eyeing Cassian like he had gone mad. "Since when does Azriel read those kinds of books? He's not exactly the...romantic type."

Or maybe there just never had been a single person that had appreciated that side of his brother. Who knew what Azriel actually was into. 

Elain and Mor weren’t similar in the slightest after all. 

Cassian shrugged. "Maybe he's expanding his horizons," he said with a grin. "Or maybe he just wants to see what the fuss is all about. After all, Sellyn Drake is...surprisingly good. Or so I've heard, anyway." He gave a sidelong glance to Nesta, who simply rolled her eyes at him.

Still, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rhys play absentmindedly with the stem of the wine glass. There was something there...between Rhys and Azriel that Cassian couldn't quite put his finger on. Some kind of tension...some kind of...something.

But lately, it had seemed like that tension had only been getting worse. Like they were both holding something back, like they were both waiting for the other shoe to drop. Cassian couldn't help wondering what would happen when that tension finally snapped.

***

"Winnowing or flying?" Azriel asked Sky as they stepped out into the icy early winter air.

"I...I can't...fly?" Sky answered haltingly, looking at him with these devastating blue eyes. They were beautiful. Not a light blue, not a teal, not bordering on violet…just beautiful near cobalt blue. She probably would match his siphons, he reflected weakly. 

"I'll fly, I'll carry you," he gave back with a chuckle. She stared at him like he was insane, her cheeks reddening.

"I...I...you...can...can't carry me. I am too...heavy," she mumbled. Now it was his turn to stare at her.

Azriel couldn't help but scoff at that. "Too heavy?" he repeated, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm an Illyrian warrior,” he told her drily. “I could carry a full-grown male into battle if I had to,and I have dragged full-grown males off the battlefield…I can carry you.” 

Azriel couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Was she...was she seriously trying to tell him that she was too heavy for him to carry? She just so reached the middle of his chest! She definitely wasn't thin...her body was covered with soft flesh and lush curves, every inch of it soft and inviting...but even if she weighed twice her weight, he would easily be able to carry her. She would probably weigh next to nothing to him.

And yet, he could sense the insecurity in her voice, the way she didn't quite believe that he could carry her.

He stepped closer to her, placing his hand gently under her chin and tilting her head up so that she was looking directly into his eyes. "You are beautiful," he said softly, his voice full of warmth and sincerity. "And I don't care how much you weigh, I can carry you. I want to carry you. Because you are mine and I will always protect you, no matter what."

Her breath hitched at that, and he could see the warmth spreading through her cheeks as her heart began to race. She looked up at him with those stunning blue eyes of hers, her lips parted slightly in surprise and wonder. "You...you really mean that?" she whispered, her voice soft and shaky. "You...you don't mind how big I am?"

Azriel chuckled softly, shaking his head. "No, sweetheart, I don't mind," he said gently. "I think you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. And if I have to carry you to prove it, then that is what I will do." And without another word, he scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest as easily.

She squeaked as they shot up in the sky and then she laughed, the sound bright and beautiful

They soared through the sky together, the wind blowing through their hair and clothes as they flew. The City of Starlight sprawled out beneath them, a beautiful tapestry of color and light. Azriel held her close, feeling the warmth of her body against his, the sound of her heartbeat pulsing in rhythm with his own. He knew that he could never tire of this feeling, of having her in his arms like this.

Sky looked up at him with a smile, her eyes shining with happiness and excitement. "I love this," she breathed.

How very fitting it was for the female that called herself Sky to love flying.

"Good," Azriel said softly, his voice full of warmth. "Because we can do this anytime you want, sweetheart."

They soared higher and higher, until the city below them was nothing but a sparkling sea of lights. Azriel was in his element up here, his wings powerful and graceful as they sliced through the air. He could feel the wind whipping through his hair, the cold night air stinging his skin. But he didn't mind, not with her in his arms. In fact, he felt more alive than he had in months. Years, even.

He flew a loping circle over Velaris, towards the Lake House the shadows had purchased and he thanked them mentally for their foresight. He couldn't very well bring Sky home to the House of Wind...but here...he could take her. It was private and safe...and if the expression of her face was anything to go by, she loved it.

He angled his body towards the Lake House, gliding towards it with expert precision. As they approached, Azriel saw the soft glow of the lights in the windows, the gentle sway of the curtains in the breeze. The lake glittered in the moonlight, the surface of the water undisturbed and serene. It was the perfect place to bring her, a place that he felt she would love just as much as he did.

"You live here?" she wondered, wonder in her voice as she took in the sight.

Azriel felt a warm swell of pride in his chest as he landed smoothly on the deck of the house. "Yes," he said simply, his eyes fixed on her face, watching as she marveled at the house. "I wanted a private place," he admitted. "Somewhere quiet and peaceful, where I could escape from the chaos of my life for a little while.I haven't been there long though, it’s still a work in progress…" he warned her. More like 2 hours before he had met her. "But I love it."

He set her down gently, his hands lingering on her waist for a moment before he stepped back. "Come on," he said softly, holding out his hand to her. "Let me show you inside."

The shadows skittered inside as soon as he opened the door, like a bunch of little busybodies, rightening the curtains there, fluffing pillows on the couch...It seemed to amuse Sky though. "You must ne...never have to deal with a mes...messy kitchen," she teased him

Azriel chuckled at that. "No, the shadows don't like when things are out of place,”  he admitted.

It wasn't a lie. But then he didn't like it either. 

Like a moth pulled to the flame, Sky was pulled towards his bookcases, fingertips tripping over the spines as she hungrily read the titles.

Azriel suddenly hoped that the shadows had put something other than Sellyn Drake novels in the bookcase, because otherwise he was going to look like a fucking stalker.

He watched with a mix of amusement and apprehension as she examined the bookshelves, his heart pounding in his chest. *Please,* he silently pleaded to the shadows, *please tell me you didn't leave those Sellyn Drake novels on the shelf.* Because if she saw those, it would be disastrous.

The shadows seemed weirdly frozen in place.

"You read Sel...Sellyn Drake?" Sky asked him, sounding delighted and shocked at the same time.

Azriel groaned inwardly, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. "I...yes, I do," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I...There is...I...I need to tell you something."

"Te...Tell me som...something?" Sky asked, turning towards him, these big beautiful eyes staring at him.

"I...It wasn't a coincidence that I was in that bar tonight," he told her, watching as she stared at him. "The shadows told me to go."

"The...The shad...shadows?" she asked him, looking utterly shocked.

"I...I told them...a few weeks ago...to...find me somebody that....that I could love...somebody that I could make happy. A wife," Azriel admitted. "You were the one they picked."

She stared at him, her mouth falling open slightly. Azriel braced himself for her reaction, not sure what to expect. Would she be angry? Scandalized? Horrified that he had sent his shadows to find him a wife?

She stared at him wide-eyed. "You...You as…asked yo…your sha..shadows to fi…find you a wi…wife?!" she asked him, repeating his words back at him.

He could feel his cheeks reddening but nodded nonetheless. "...are you angry?" he asked her weakly.

Sky stared at him for a moment, but then she shook her head. "No, No...no, I'm not," she repeated again, her voice trembling slightly. "I'm...I'm flat…flattered, actually...Though...though I am cu..curious what it…what it was about me that...made…made them pick me," she admitted.

For the first time in his life, his shadows talked to somebody other than Azriel. *We thought you would treat Master like you treat your cat,* the shadows told her brightly.

She blinked at the bunch of shadows that had gathered in front of her.

"You...You...You want me to...treat Az..Azriel like...like a cat?" she asked them incrediously.

Azriel spluttered, his cheeks burning with mortification. He hadn't expected the shadows to be so blunt, and the idea of her treating him like a cat was...well, it was absurd, to say the least. He wanted her to be his mate, his equal, not to treat him as if he were some kind of pet.

"No, no," he quickly interjected, trying to salvage the situation. "They...they don't mean it like that, Sky. The shadows have their own...unique way of looking at things. Please just...just forget they ever said that."

Sky fixed him with a look. "What do you mean?" she asked the shadows.

*You love your cat,* the shadows said quickly. *You buy him ridiculous overpriced Tuna, and you let him sleep in your bed and you scratch him behind the ears. You even knitted him a sweater!*

Azriel winced, feeling his embarrassment and mortification rising even further. 

"That...thats not important," he mumbled, feeling like he was on the verge of spontaneously combusting from embarrassment. "The shadows...they have a habit of exaggerating things. Just...please, don't take them too seriously. I'm not expecting you to treat me like a cat, I swear."

Sky looked at him, then at the Shadows, then at Azriel again. She seemed to be lost in thought, clearly trying to decipher what the shadows meant.

"You..You want your mas…master to be tre…treated...well?" Sky finally asked the shadows, her tone of voice serious. "You pick…picked me because I...be..because I was nice to my cat?" she asked them curiously.

*You are so kind,* the shadows said softly. And so pretty. And we knew you would treat Master well and wouldn't judge him.*

Sky blushed at the compliment.

Azriel felt a sense of relief wash over him as the conversation shifted away from the whole "cat" thing. He had to admit, the shadows were right. Sky had been nothing but kind and considerate towards him since they met, and he was grateful for that. Still, he couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed by the whole situation.

"Look...I apologize for the shadows' behavior," he said to Sky, his voice soft. "They can be a bit...blunt, sometimes."

"I…I un…understand where they are com…coming from," she said nearly thoughtfully. "They just...want to see you hap…happy?" she said carefully and he nodded.

"Yes."

"Though they…they don't seem to have much of a sense of boun…boundaries," Sky said with a laugh. "You hid in my apartment didn't you?" she asked the shadows.

Azriel cringed as the shadows seemed to twirl in agreement. He had hoped that particular detail would have gone unnoticed, but he should have known better. Sky was too observant for her own good.

"Yes, they did," he admitted reluctantly. "I'm sorry about that. They...they have a tendency to go where they please."

Sky still mustered the shadows that were twitching in front of her

"I…I prom…promise to t…treat your ma…master well." Sky said seriously. "He's my mate."

Azriel felt his heart skip a beat at her words. The sound of that word coming from her lips made his knees weak.

He stepped forward, closing the distance between them and taking her hands in his. "And I promise to treat you well too," he swore fervently. 

"And I'll…I’ll even knit him a swea…sweater," Sky continued, looking at the shadows.. "I…I don't know if he likes Tu…tuna, but I'll…buy him some… sweets."

He couldn’t help but laugh at her words, feeling a surge of affection for her that was almost overwhelming. "Sky," he said softly, looking into her eyes. "You don't have to do any of that for me. Just being with you is more than I could ever ask for.But...if you are willing to knit me a sweater, I surely won't say no to it," he added with a laugh. "And maybe you could try scratching me behind the ears too, just in case the shadows are right."

He meant it as a joke, but there was a part of him that was secretly delighted by the idea of her spoiling and doting on him. Maybe, just maybe, the shadows were onto something after all.

"And...who knows, maybe I'll develop a taste for Tuna," he added, grinning playfully. "As long as it's the fancy kind, that is."

He kissed her forehead gently, holding her close for a moment longer before finally pulling away. "But Sky…you don’t have to do all of that…Just being with you is enough."

She smiled up at him, beautiful and blinding and he couldn't help but kiss her.

As his lips met hers, Azriel felt a wave of warmth and tenderness wash over him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he deepened the kiss. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the shadows, not the world outside, nothing but her.

He broke the kiss reluctantly, resting his forehead against hers as he caught his breath. 

"You…You can absolutely sleep in my bed with me," she whispered. "Or I'll sleep in yours," she offered, a grin on her face... and that was all he needed to hear, as he picked her up again.

[firingstars]

in this life | ch. 2

bucky barnes x female reader

summary: "There's only one God, doll, and He's gonna bring me back to you." "I don't need God," you told him, fresh tears brimming over your eyes. "I just need you."

warnings: 18+, mdni, smut, wall sex, clothed sex, fingering, its a quickie, reincarnation trope, language, mentions of financial instability, memories are written with italicizes, no use of y/n, angst, yearning, longing, everyone's alive no one is dead because i said so, alternating pov's

word count: 4.2k

a/n: btw i guess i have an obsession with making peter parker the reader's friend but i promise peter is happy in this fic and mj is also your best friend and ned is also mentioned as well-- you work with mj at the diner LOLLL

previous chapter | next chapter

“Sergeant B̴̜̟̬̿͐ä̸̲̯̳͛̔r̵͉̆n̷͔̯̏̿ẽ̷̥̅͂s̸̠̣̹̒͒,” you read the order, forcing a smile on your face. “107th infantry. Sounds kinda important. Like you’ll be in the front lines.”

“Something like that,” he mutters, fussing with the belt around his waist. You let out a breath, re-reading the words on the ink smudged letter once more. 

You already memorized each letter on this small piece of paper. To you, this letter signified the end of your entire world.  

“How do I look, pretty girl?” he asked, turning to face you. He takes the letter from your hands once again, tucking it away into his breast pocket where you can’t reach it. You’ve been spending every waking moment of your time ingraining the orders into your mind like it was a death sentence. To you, it is. He’s trying to make you forget about it. 

You give him a hum of approval, letting your eyes roam all over his figure. As much as you hate the reason why he’s wearing the uniform, you can’t deny that he looks incredibly handsome in it. He had gotten it tailored to fit him, so it’s perfectly fitting his body in all the right places. Maybe it’s something about seeing a man in a work uniform, in the same way that you swoon when he wears a suit for special occasions.

“Like you’re about to head into war,” you replied with a snort.

“Probably because I am,” he said with a shake of his head. There’s a smile somewhere on his face. You can hear it. You don’t answer him though. You’re a bit busy undressing him with your eyes. Tearing off the uniform into scrapes of thread that you could reuse for something else would be nice. Pushing his naked body into the bed would be even better. Maybe you would keep his dog tags around his neck, just so you could use it to pull him down onto you.

Fingers are placed under your chin, and you’re forced to look up at him, to meet the eyes that you can’t see.

“We don’t have time for whatever you’re thinking of, doll. We have to go meet S̶͔̄͑t̸̙̜̏e̷̲͎̠̅̂v̴͚̤̱̐ḭ̶̊́̕e̴̦̥͖̋ for the Stark Expo,” he said, his voice dropping dangerously low with that deep husk that makes a shiver run down your spine.

“Wasn’t thinking of anything,” you told him, feigning innocence with a sweet smile.

“Really? A shame, I thought we were thinking of the same thing,” he sighed, releasing his hold on your chin. You raise an eyebrow at him, tilting your head.

“What would that be?” you said, looking up at him from your lashes. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he whispered, his voice soft and teasing. 

“It’s an order, Sergeant. From your direct supervisor,” you said, watching as his shoulders shake slightly with a chuckle. “I suggest you hurry up and act before you piss me off and make us late.”

“Can’t be disobeying my first order, now can I?” he grinned, reaching for the sleeves of your dress. 

“Maybe you could,” you hummed, already making work of undoing the belt around his waist before getting to the buttons of his blazer. “Maybe you could get dishonorably discharged, get sent home back to me.”

“Don’t make me laugh, doll,” he murmured, pressing his lips to your neck.

“Worth a shot,” you sighed into him, carefully pushing his blazer off his shoulders. He allowed you to, and you made sure to gently drape it over the couch in a way that it wouldn’t wrinkle. 

“Can’t fully get undressed, pretty,” he muttered, gathering the skirt of your dress in one hand to get it out of the way to allow his other hand to reach beneath it. You let out a soft gasp as his fingers started to play with your clit over the fabric of your undergarments.You grabbed onto his arms for stability, resting your forehead on his shoulder. “We gotta be fast.”

“Fast– why aren’t you inside me yet then, Sergeant?” you moaned, eyes fluttering shut as he stuck a knee between your legs to spread them more. His fingers shifted, moving the fabric of your underwear to the side so he could slip his fingers right into your aching pussy.

“You’re naughty,” he clicked his tongue. “Already dripping. Is it the uniform?”

“No,” you quickly responded. A lie, one that he caught, and answered by curling his fingers in you the way that he knew would make you tremble. 

You moaned into his shoulder, and he hummed happily in response, his fingers speeding up the work. They massaged within you quickly, performing in ways that only he knew you liked. The ways that he only was allowed to touch you– ways that he could only have you. You were a goner, clenching around his fingers, trembling against his body.

“I got you. You’re doing so well. So good for me,” he whispered the praise in your ear. “Cum for me, pretty girl. Cum for me, then I’ll stuff you full of my cock. Sounds good?”

You nodded frantically, unable to produce the words to answer him. You were so close, right at the edge of the cliff– and he pressed the heel of his palm to your clit. You were undone just like that. A moaning, shaking mess. His other arm wrapped around your waist to hold you upright against him as you trembled in his arms, his fingers slowing but never stopping as you came on them. 

When the shaking subsided, you were being lifted up, legs being wrapped around his waist. You felt your back against the wall, and you lifted your head to look at him– only to throw your head back against the wall with a moan as he slipped inside you without warning. 

“B̷̺̝̤̉ṵ̷̓̑͑c̷̠̆̈́̒̋k̸̢̖̰͚͔̾͐̐̒͌,” you gasp, holding onto his shoulders for dear life as his hips piston in and out of you quickly. He was so pretty like this– still in his military dress uniform. He was slightly unkempt now, his dress pants pushed below his waist so he could bury his cock in you without restraint. 

“Yeah, doll?” he whispered, burying his face in your neck, breathing heavily. His heart was beating as fast as yours. You could feel him– feel how hard he was inside of you. His cock was twitching and jumping in reaction to every pulse of your already sensitive walls, and you were going to cum again soon.

“It– it’s too much,” you stammered, digging your nails through his shirt and into his skin. “Baby, slow down–”

“No can do,” he grunted, snapping his hips into you even harder. “We gotta be fast, sweetheart. You… you said it yourself. We gotta go.”

You whine in response, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You really couldn’t take it anymore. He hadn’t given you much time to come down from your previous release before he had set a punishing pace with his cock, and you were done for with him so close to you.

With one more specific thrust, one more moan that hit your ears, you were cumming around him, clamping hard on his dick and tensing against his body. Your lover cursed, holding you tighter to him as he came in you with one last thrust, filling you with his own release. 

He pressed kisses all over your face, murmuring praises in between each one. He held onto your legs as he carried you to the bathroom, only separating your body from his when he had you seated on the sink counter. You both moaned one last time as he slipped out of you.

Your lover grabbed a washcloth, and began to clean up the mess in between your legs, then himself, then made work to make both of you look presentable again before checking the time on his wrist.

“Looks like we’re gonna be late, doll,” he chuckled.

You wake with a deep sigh, throwing your arm over your eyes as you try to calm down your thundering heartbeat. More often than not these days, you were having wet dreams of this soldier man. You couldn’t even tell anyone you were lusting over a soldier from the 40s that was about to head off into war. 

The digital clock on your night stand lets you know you woke up a couple hours earlier than you needed to for your lecture. You could risk it by going back to sleep. You only entertain the idea for a couple more seconds before you force yourself out of bed and into the shower to clean the sticky mess between your legs. 

You have a neuroscience exam coming up in a few days and a psychology exam later that day, but you can’t study as much as you want to. With both your dreams harassing you with details that you haven’t even experienced in real life, along with the crippling fear of drowning in student debt, you’re stuck working late nights at the diner down the street from your university.

Honestly, you want to wrap your hands around your throat for doing this to yourself. The only reason you chose this field of study– Traumatic Memory Rehabilitation Science– is because of the doctors that let you down as a teenager. There has to be something wrong with you. You were convinced there had to be. Something that you missed in your developmental stages of life that’s causing all of these dreams.

That was the selfish reason, at least. 

The selfless version that you told others was simply the fact that you lived in New York and there were more than several times a year when the city became a breeding ground for trauma and heartache. You could help people while helping yourself. And get good money doing it, too.

Money.

You don’t even want to look at your bank account, and you ignore the way your stomach growls. It was the beginning of the month, and you already paid the rent. At the very least, you wouldn’t have to worry about that expense for another thirty days. If things really got tough, you could dip into your savings and treat yourself to a nice meal. You decided to refrain. You could charm the line cook into giving you a free dish later on when you clocked in for your shift. 

Which is exactly what you attempt to do after you put your uniform on. Thankfully, he’s a big softie and you get a warm plate of mashed potatoes and a lesser grade cut of steak, but beggars can't be choosers and meat is meat.

“Table in your section– two customers,” your coworker and one of your closest friends, MJ, called from the front.

“Coming,” you responded, forcing another few mouthfuls down your throat before washing it all away with two gulps of water. 

“Heads up,” MJ said as she handed you menus and a mint, “they’re kinda hot.”

“I’m telling Peter you said that,” you scoffed at her. She grinned at you as she watched you pop the mint in your mouth and tuck the menus under your arm before grabbing a couple of waters to bring to the table.

You wanted to shoot MJ in the foot the second your table came into view. You did everything in your power to stop yourself from tripping over your feet and spilling the waters in your hands. Your customers weren’t just kinda hot. They were the embodiment of desire and sex and all things sinful. 

Steve Rogers was sitting at your table, with James Buchanan Barnes in front of him.

Oh, shit.

“Good evening, boys,” you said, placing their glasses on the table along with the menus. You tell them your name, “I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you something other to drink than water?”

Both men are staring at you like you have two heads. You’d be lying if it wasn’t unnerving. Did you smell like steak? Was your eyeliner smudged? Maybe you had a loop in your hair and they were staring at it, wondering if it was the polite thing to do to tell you about it. Either way, it was making your heart pound in your chest with anxiety the longer they didn’t speak. Usually customers wouldn’t bother you like this, but this was different. These were two war heroes and current superheroes.

“Should I give you two a few more minutes?” you finally speak once more, taking a deep breath as you do.

It’s Steve who snaps out of it, and clears his throat. “No, sorry. Lost in thought– um. Water is good. Thank you. We might need a few minutes to decide what we’ll order though.”

“No worries at all. I’ll come back in a few to check up on you. Call for me if you decide earlier,” you said, releasing the breath. Thank God.

Steve gives you a grateful smile, and nods once. You glance over to his partner sitting across from him, your gaze lingering on him for longer than you would like to admit.

You’ve read about both men in your history classes. You’ve had tests and quizzes on them for as long as you could remember. You recall having a field trip to the museum to see the memorial structure that was made for the two of them when you were in high school, and you remember when Captain America first emerged from the ice. You also remember when the Winter Soldier was all over the news, and how everyone online was torn into sides over the fact that he got a pardon.

Yet, you realize that you don’t think any of the pictures you’ve seen in your textbooks, in the museums, or on the news could do his face any justice. He looks tired, which is a given based on the information that you know about him, but it doesn’t hide how pretty he looks. Stormy, steel blue eyes that stared into yours without wavering. A short beard growing on his face from not shaving for a couple days. Hair that stopped above his shoulders, but looked well taken care of and maintained. He was also bigger than you remembered. He’s full of muscle and memories, all from the years of time that he’s spent fighting. 

You pause at the thought.

Bigger than you remembered? 

What the hell were you thinking of? This was the first time you’ve ever seen this man in person, first time that he’s ever been within arm's length to you. There’s nothing to remember here. 

You give him a smile, and tear your gaze away from his, ignoring the tug in your chest as you do. You need another drink of water. Or a shot. Something to get you through the next hour or two that these guys will be in your section.

You lock eyes with MJ briefly, and she raises her eyebrows at you in amusement. You glare at her in response as the front door opens, signaling that another patron has walked in.

Thankfully, the dinner rush starts to pile in not too long after. You don’t have the time to contemplate what just happened when you locked eyes with the soldier. You were even more grateful that both men seemed to pull themselves together out of whatever stupor they were in, and ordered without another awkward pause between the two of you.

You raced around the diner like this, checking up on them briefly to make sure they didn’t need anything else, made sure their food was cooked properly and tasted good, and kept refilling their waters when you noticed their glasses were running low. You would be damned if Captain America had to ask you for a refill on water. 

When Steve finally caught your attention to ask for the check, you decided to make an executive decision. 

“On the house,” you said, waving a hand like it was nothing.

“What?” Steve asked, pausing in grabbing his wallet from his pocket. 

You gave him a shrug. “For your service. Back then and now. I grew up on stories from my grandfather saying that you saved him from an enemy bunker during the war. He loved the two of you,” you confessed, shaking your head at the memory before looking at them again. “And for your service now. I don’t love that the city I grew up in is always being attacked, but it’s nice to know that you guys are around to put everything back together.”

Both men stare at you, and you think you’ve said too much. You feel a little embarrassed, gushing over your childhood superheroes like this. So, you clear your throat and give them another small, sheepish smile. 

“I hope you two have a great night,” you said. “Take your time, too. No rush to get out the door.”

You quickly leave their table before they can protest your decision for a free meal. Your paycheck will take the hit, but you feel good about it at least. 

Both men linger in the diner for a little while longer before they decide to pick themselves up and leave. Once they’re gone and out the door, you start to clear the dishes from their table. Then, you freeze. A fat stack of cash is sitting underneath one of the plates, next to a napkin with writing. You pick up the napkin, your hands trembling as you read the words over and over again.

Thanks for the meal, doll. - Sergeant 

You carried the money back home in your purse, clutching the accessory like you were holding some sort of bomb. You were still trembling that night when you counted every single bill, only to realize that each bill was a pretty Benjamin staring straight at you.

You ended up googling how much money Avengers made because there was no way that they just walked away from your table after paying your entire tuition for the year. Or rather– was it just Bucky? Barnes was a Sergeant, you knew that. The napkin that you had carefully placed on your nightstand was only from him.

Your mind was still reeling, and you didn’t touch the money for a week. You couldn’t. You kept your eyes and ears open more than usual, looking around every single corner, and perking up at every single patron that walked through the doors of the diner. Maybe Bucky would return, and you could confront him. Tell him to take back the money, that it was too damn much for you to just accept.

But when the first bill came in your mailbox, and you looked at your checking account, your mind only wandered back to the cash you had carefully hidden away behind your dresser. You’d become paranoid at this point, thinking that everyone knew how much money you were harboring. Of course, ten grand really wasn’t that much in the grand scheme of things. Still, it was more than enough to keep you comfortable for a while. 

You sighed and went down to your university’s finance department, ready to pay off a bill for the semester.

“Hm? It’s already been taken care of.”

You’re about to throw up.

“What?” you breathe, mind racing. “What do you mean it’s been taken care of?”

“You were accepted for one of the Stark Foundation’s scholarships,” the receptionist said, typing away at her computer. “Pretty impressive, if you tell me. Tony Stark has been pretty selective in who he chooses for that scholarship. Just keep your grades up, and the rest of your schooling is paid for. If you graduate with enough honors and recognition, I’m sure that he’ll take you in for an internship for the research you’re conducting.”

You didn’t know what to say. Reality didn’t feel real anymore. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought you were dreaming at this moment, but there was no way that you could have been– he wasn’t here. All your dreams included him.

“Oh, and the scholarship includes a meal plan,” the receptionist said, taking a brochure out from her drawer. “For the university’s cafeterias.”

Your university had the best damn food you’d ever tried, but the issue was that it was too expensive without a meal plan to pay for it. You’d had it once, twice, when you were desperate enough between classes and on the brink of starvation. Your next planned time to go there was before you graduated and left the campus behind.

“Congratulations on your scholarship,” the receptionist smiled at you, and you could tell it was genuine. However, she looked behind you towards the line of other students waiting to pay their bills. “Is there anything else that I can help you with today?”

“No. Sorry– um. I didn’t apply for any scholarship,” you quickly said, snapping back into your body after the brief metaphysical journey you went through in your head. “I have the regular grants given to me by the state and some other smaller scholarships that I qualified for, but I wasn’t qualified for Stark Foundation.”

“Stark Foundation is always looking for bright young minds to push the world forward in these tough times. You must’ve caught his eye with a couple of your essays or papers that you published this year.”

You shook your head. No. You knew that it wasn’t enough because you researched it. You applied for every damn scholarship under the sun, and you didn’t meet all of Tony Stark’s requirements. He was looking for engineers. You were studying towards mental health and memory reconstruction and trauma rehabilitation. 

“What– what’s the exact name of the scholarship?” you stuttered, still confused.

The receptionist let out a little sigh, visibly more annoyed now. She clicked a few more buttons on her mouse, looking at her computer screen before glancing back at you. 

“It looks like you have received the Anthony E. Stark Foundation Legacy Scholarship of Distinguished Scholars and Scientific Excellence award.”

You have never even heard of such a damn thing before. 

You leave the administration office, feeling more confused than before. None of this makes sense. Your entire world had been knocked off balance in just one week, but nothing was technically wrong. Was this luck of the draw? 

You pull your phone out of your pocket, immediately calling Peter. It rang once, twice, and he picked up on the third time. 

“Hey!” he greeted you, sounding extremely chipper. “What’s up?”

“Since when does Tony Stark give out scholarships to people that don’t apply for it– people that don’t even qualify for it?” you asked him. 

“Huh? Mr. Stark? Uh… From what I know, and I’m just an intern– the scholarships are a real grueling process. He only grants them to the students that he wants to work with in the future, but there’s a bunch of different meetings and lots of processes that the person has to go through to even secure the scholarship,” Peter answered.

“Is that what you went through?” you demanded.

“Well, you know about my… special circumstances,” he said slowly, and you let out a breath. “And so does Mr. Stark.”

“Right. Of course. Sorry, Peter,” you murmured. 

“Are you okay? You sound a bit off,” he said, and you could hear the worry in his voice. 

“I’m fine,” you said, a bit too fast to sound convincing. “Um– is MJ working later tonight? If so, I’ll see her at the diner.”

“Oh, yeah. Me and Ned will stop by for dinner, too,” he replied, and you were thankful he accepted the topic change.

“Cool. Cool,” you whispered, then cleared your throat. “I gotta go now, but I’ll see you later.”

You didn’t wait for your friend’s response before hanging up the phone. Your mind was still reeling at the cards dealt to you. You had a scholarship. You had a meal plan to feed you when you were on campus. 

Your feet froze in place as the situation dawned upon you.

Steve and Bucky did something. If it wasn’t Peter, then it had to be them. You don’t know why this is tugging at your chest, or why you have such a strong feeling, but you just know that the two of them had something to do with this. They had to. It started off with the money that Bucky left you on your table. Both of them had direct connections to Iron Man, and you don’t think it would be that difficult for them to figure out who the hell you were by just seeing your face and hearing your name once.

Was this the positive karma coming back to you just for giving them one free meal? Did both men feel the need to repay you after showing them some basic respect for the work they’ve done for the city– for the world?

You try to ignore a deeper feeling inside of you. They looked at you like they knew you. Like they had history with you, and were making up for lost time in their own way. It was a silly, strange feeling, but all at the same time– you felt that you knew them. That they did this, that they have had to do this.

You didn’t even realize you were crying until you saw the soft splatters of tears on the concrete at your feet. You let out a soft laugh, touching your face. 

It wasn’t tears of happiness. Strangely enough, you felt empty.

next chapter

taglist: @kitkatyap @bitchycheesecakecat @saintserpentine @miss-chuchu @majorasbat @sleepdeprivedfrfr @shortandb1tchy @bruiscdlikeviolets @thebuckybarnesvault @alltheusersaregone ** please let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist for this series :) **

[somepsychopomp]

Tips for Writing a Good Fic Summary:

I firmly believe that no writer should ever have to say "I suck at summaries", "my summary is bad but my story is good", "idk what to put in my summary" etc.

Why?

It makes you seem unconfident or disinterested in your own writing, which therefore puts off a lot of potential readers

It can come off like you didn't try

When tons of people say "I suck at summaries", it lowkey lumps you in with all the other writers who also don't know how to write summaries, and can make the premise of your fic seem less interesting or unique as a result

And quite frankly, I think every person who's ever slapped this kind of disclaimer on their fic absolutely can write a good summary if only they had some guidance and practice!

So, here are my go-to strategies for how to write a summary that functionally conveys the premise of your fic while also making it sound fun and interesting:

(Disclaimer, a lot of fellow fic writers out there have already internalized at least a good portion of what I've written below. This guide is designed for fanfic newcomers who may or may not still be learning how to write, largely because I most often see them posting the dreaded "I suck at summaries" as a shield, excuse, or preemptive defense of their works. I also want to say- no shame. We all have to start somewhere, and I just want to help out as much as I can.)

1) The In-Universe & Out Strategy:

I'm explaining this one first because if you've ever spared even a passing glance at Ao3, you've definitely come across this summary archetype before. And I'm super guilty of using it, too. But hey, if it works, it works!

This strategy is actually two summaries in one, the first being a blurb explaining the plot in a way similar to those you'd find printed in published books, with the goal of highlighting the drama or central conflict in the story and/or main character(s).

But it's also combined with an "out of character", typically much shorter summary that explains the premise by referencing its tropes or general format. The example below is one of my own fic summaries:

Let's start with the easier "out of character" component of this two-parter, that being the very last line of the example summary. This portion is technically optional in any summary, but has its many uses. The most important of which is that it offers clarity and guidance for your readers, and informs them of what exactly they're getting into if they were to click on your fic.

Also, it always comes second because the technical, "out of character" component is not you as a fandom participant trying to sell your story in an engaging way, it's you as the author explaining what it is you've made using familiar terms like "pre-canon"/"AU", etc.

And to be clear, I personally believe it's always better that your potential readers' first taste of your story (that being your summary) is immersive and enticing rather than plain and technical. So this smaller blurb should always go after your actual summary. Think of it as the cherry on top.

And you can make this portion of your summary very easily. Just state if your fic is an AU, if it's a "5 times X happened and the 1 time Y happened" fic, etc. All you have to do is tell your audience plainly what the main draw of the fic is, and all that takes is 1 sentence.

Aside from that, why does this format work and why is it so common in fandom spaces?

Well I referenced it before, but it offers something that most summaries in published books do not: clarity.

Yes, a good fic summary should tell you who the central character(s) are and a general idea of what happens in it. But summaries are also often used to build intrigue. You want your audience's curiosity to be piqued, so if you make your summary (and by extension your story) sound cool and mysterious, or full of adventure, or intensely cerebral and thought-provoking, readers will be inclined to click on your fic to find out how it ends.

But also, mystique offers uncertainty. And some readers might not like a fic if they can't quite parse out what exactly it'll be about. So, having an additional line or two after your "real" summary to explain the premise the way you might quickly explain it to a friend, gives that balance of intrigue and clarity.

But how do you write that first part? The actual summary?

2) The Cheater's Strategy:

It sounds a little dramatic, but honestly I consider this my "cheat sheet" way of making a summary because it's very much a shortcut that works.

And that strategy is: you sum up the first chapter of your fic. Nothing more. You do not allude to what the overarching plot is, you act as if chapter 1 is all you've got. But why would you do that?

Here's the thing about fanfics, based heavily on my experience in both writing and reading them. When you've got a fic that's more than 5-8 chapters long, or it stretches beyond 10-15k, oftentimes the first few chapters are all set up for your premise and the real meat of the story (the solving of the mystery, the big battles, the winding adventure, the burning portion of the slowburn) will come after.

When it comes to the cheater's strategy, you're going to ignore all the best portions of your story just so you can explain the boring set-up period where you position all your characters in the right places so they're ready to go on their (mis)adventure.

If you think that sounds like a bad idea, let me ask you this: When you pick up a mystery novel at the bookshop, does the summary give away who did it?

No! And you're not going to, either.

Also, it's implied and expected that the longer your story is, the more it will develop, change, and grow. So if you can sell your initial concept idea enough for a reader to click and read the first chapter, you very well could hook them and keep them seated for the rest of your story.

And remember what I said about building intrigue? This strategy is designed to build intrigue by suggesting there's more than what meets the eye.

Here's another example:

That might sound dense. And it's long. And it sounds like maybe a lot of stuff goes on in chapter one, but literally all I've done is explain the initial premise of my fic. (Note- this summary is for an Epic the Musical fic, which is a musical based of the Odyssey. Would highly recommend but that's beside the point)

The point is, this is an AU. But I didn't employ the Out of Universe strategy this time around and say it's an AU because it's obvious to anyone in the Epic fandom and it does not need to be further clarified.

What mattered to me in this scenario is that my potential reader sees my summary and knows that Odysseus the main character is a man who is married to the goddess Calypso, and is currently living in paradise. But in canon (both in Epic and in the actual Odyssey), Odysseus rebuked Calypso's advances because he wished to remain faithful to his actual wife Penelope.

The suggestion or implied understanding here is that something bad happened that caused Odysseus to discard Penelope in favor of Calypso. (Spoiler alert: the bad thing was him being brainwashed by a woman who would eventually become his abuser.)

And in this case, it's the suggestion of something gone wrong that builds the intrigue and curiosity for me without me having to add anything extra.

In the bulk of King of Ogygia, Odysseus goes on a strenuous mental journey to rediscover his true self with the help of various Greek gods, while also physically fighting back against his abuser. That all sounds pretty important to the story, right?

And it is! But I didn't want to include any of that and risk spoiling the overarching story. Anyone who'll be interested in chapter 1 will probably willingly continue reading to see how the story develops because that's just what you do when you find a story you like.

But let's say you're not writing an AU or a complicated, multi-chapter story spanning tens or hundreds of thousands of words.

If your fic is short and sweet, your summary should be as well. Next up,

3) Keep it Simple Strategies

(Yes, plural. This section is more like two different ideas lumped into one sum, but it made the most sense to put them together so please bear with me.)

Maybe you've got a neat little one-shot or a short fic (like 10k words or less) and you're not sure how to write it's summary precisely because it's so short. Or maybe you just prefer simple, direct summaries as opposed to the lengthy, dramatic kind.

Here's my next example from a 3k one shot I once wrote:

To be clear, this is a NOT an ideal summary. Far from it. But it's from a fic I wrote 6 years ago and I've definitely grown and changed as a writer since then. Let's dissect and rewrite this summary together.

Firstly, it does the bare minimum of telling you who the main character is (Kirishima), who he's being shipped with (Izuku), and the setting (a gym). And from a technical standpoint, that's almost all you have to write in order to reach the textbook definition of a summary.

But I didn't even really explain what the conflict or actual plot is, only suggested that that plot would be Kirishima trying to get together with another character who, in this setting, is a personal trainer.

It's succinct, I can at least give it that. But it's so short and plain that it doesn't really spark much imagination, does it? In all honesty, if I saw this exact summary posted at the top of Ao3, I'd skip right past it because it's so unimaginative and bland 😭

But the fic itself is only 3k, how do you build intrigue for a story that most readers can digest in about 30 minutes or less?

Let's start by identifying the main character and make a short list of their most important emotions or characteristics. Here, I would characterize Kirishima as being hopeful (that he can score a date), in love, and active (in a physical sense).

So I should try to channel these primary components into my summary. I could say something to the effect of:

Kirishima has been hitting the gym a lot more often, but it's not to improve his strength. There's a new personal trainer and he's got Kirishima's heart rate spiking better than cardio day. But can he work up the nerve to actually ask Izuku out?

Obviously, he'll ask out the cute trainer and they'll go on a date, but that's not what's important to a ship fic. It's the journey to the inevitable getting together that we want.

What makes this summary a little more engaging is that it's a lot more playful than the original. The gym pun and usage of "strength", "heart rate", and "cardio" really emphasizes the setting and premise. It helps sell the idea that this fic is a lighthearted romp while also hitting all the basics of who we're supposed to care about and where they are.

Here's a marginally better example summary:

Same fandom, different ship, similar premise. One character has a crush on the other, their crush is unaware of their affection at first, and the name of the game is winning them over.

But what makes this summary better than the previous example?

Well, it explains itself quite well by hitting all the minimum details. With four short sentences, it introduces who the two most important characters are and what their deal is. One of them is a god, the other is a mortal. It's a fantasy setting. The romance is one-sided.

But those minimum details coalesce into something greater than the sum of its parts. You also get the sense that Katsuki is dangerous and hot headed because he's the god of war, and you know that the object of his affections is more bookish and not quite interested in the brutish type.

How will they ever get along?

You thereby implicitly understand that the conflict of the story is figuring out how the ship will inevitably become a ship despite their initial differences. We could call this the Opposites Attract strategy, where the summary focuses on the juxtaposition between the two characters in the central ship, and makes that the central defining feature of the story. Got all that?

Good!

But making lists or divvying up character traits might seem confusing or tedious for some. (IMO if you're a new fanfic writer just starting out, it's worth a try to treat these simple strategies as writing exercises for your stories/summaries, even if you end up not using/posting them.)

If you as a writer want a more direct approach, try:

4) The Excerpt Strategy

All that stuff I said earlier about generating intrigue and hiding the meat of your story?

Well, you're still sort of doing that with this strategy, but not really. Instead, you're going to let the fic do the talking for you.

And by that, I mean your summary isn't really a summary at all, and is instead a brief excerpt from the fic itself. Here's some examples from various fandoms I've written for, including some where I've let the fic speak entirely for itself and others that I've combined with Strategy 1:

But how do you choose the right excerpt to represent your entire story?

In my opinion, a good excerpt needs to fulfill a few key requirements:

It has to convey who the main character is or what the plot is, so it will probably be from early in your fic.

Likewise, it can't give away the ending/big reveal because it looks careless. (And does not build intrigue!)

It can't be too long or else it'll seem bloated and readers might skip over it.

It also can't be so short that it ends up being confusing.

And most of all, it can't be so out of context that it ends up being baffling. Like if my fic's summary was just the line "And then all the kangaroos got wet" sure that could convey that my fic might be wacky and/or crack, but it's also distracting, uninformative, and doesn't really convey anything about your characters or plot.

Yes, oftentimes all of the above can be a hard checklist to fulfill, I know from experience. Hence why a lot of writers, myself included, combine it with a brief out-of-character explanation of the fic to cover all our bases.

The third and shortest example is arguably too brief for a proper summary, but it does one thing I really like by establishing the tone. It's sensual and a little sarcastic, offering a hint of danger, and is cushioned from failing by not fulfilling requirement #4 b/c of its supplementary summary.

So, why choose this strategy over any other?

Well, it advertises your writing style and unique voice more than a typical summary would. Sure, a regular summary kind of reflects who you are as a writer already, but I've definitely noticed in my own experience that the way I write a summary might be more formal, less formal, more dramatic, less dramatic, or just plain different from the voice/tone/perspective used in my actual fic.

And remember- that's because a summary is designed to GRAB attention. A fic is designed to MAINTAIN attention. They aren't quite the same and each has its own needs & goals.

And last but not at all least:

5) No man is an island

You really want to learn how to write good summaries?

Read more fics. Read more books. Read their summaries.

Go to your local bookstore or library, or visit your own book shelf, and study how others have written their summaries. What's important to each story in order to make a publishable summary? Is it the character's powers, the world they live in, the time period, the setting, their relationships, their enemies, their conflicts? Or something else? Or is it a combination of the factors above? And how do you make each factor as enticing as possible?

Does a sci fi novel have the same summary structure as a Jane Austin novel? Probably not! So if you have a sci fi fic in mind, it might do you some good to see how sci fi authors characterize their works. (Or maybe think outside the box and do take inspiration from an Austin blurb? Anything is possible in the world of fiction.)

Alternatively, go to Ao3 (or your preferred platform) and read how others in your community portray their fics. Comb through the fics you've bookmarked and study their summaries. Did they entice you? If so, try to figure out how and why. If not, what compelled you to click on the fic regardless?

And don't be afraid to draft out your summaries and revise them the same way you'd do so with your actual fics. Granted, I know there's lots of people out there that post fanfics without editing them, and that's fine. This should all be for fun, after all.

But if you want to put your best foot forward and give your story a strong advertisement, experimenting with the wording and structure of your summaries might do you some good!

Ultimately, when I say no man is an island, I mean it in the sense that artists study other artists all the time, and have been doing so for thousands of years. Crafting an effective and compelling summary is arguably an art itself. So, learn from those around you. Take advantage of your predecessors and the fellow writers in your community.

And that's that!

But we're not quite done here. My parting gift to you all is one last strategy, one that can be readily combined with nearly all others. It's called the Try & Try Again Strategy:

Start with a shitty first draft of your summary. It can be as bad and uninformative and bland as you want because it's just for you and no one else will ever see it. In fact, it should intentionally be as simple and plain as possible. Something like "Percy Jackson goes to the store"

Then tack on an extra detail, something to make it a little more exciting or elaborate. Maybe you've identified that your summary needs to convey what the initial premise or inciting incident is, as opposed to something like a romantic pairing or the setting. So you write a newly revised summary: "Percy Jackson goes to a store and a bomb goes off inside."

But you want to add a few more details to make it just a little more exciting and informative: "Percy Jackson thought he was about to have an ordinary day when he's framed for a pipe bomb explosion inside a deli market." (Now we have the central conflict- Percy is being framed for a crime! But how can we make it even better? How do we build even more intrigue?)

Keep trying: "Percy Jackson's day went from mediocre to horrible as he's framed for an explosion inside a New York bodega. Follow his misadventure as he runs from the local cops, finds the perpetrator, and most important of all- gets his groceries home by dinner time."

But wait, you might say. That's not a strategy. That's just doing the same thing over and over again to varying degrees of success.

To that I say yes, it most certainly is. And that's basically all writing is. It's trying to bring your idea to life, identifying what's not working along the way, and fixing it.

But starting with a seed is how you get a flower.

And if you've made it this far, I just wanted to say thanks for stopping by! Have fun writing! ♥️

[lieslab]

Will you still walk me home?

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Seungmin X gn reader

Summary: Your boyfriend snaps at you after your caring nature starts to feel like suffocation.

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 2k

Trigger warning: Mentions of anger and codependency issues.

_ _ _

At some point, you didn’t know how to detach your limbs from the stretched mold you’d been thrown into your entire life. Growing up and taking care of everyone around you, it left you wounded with more scars than you’d like to admit, but you survived, didn’t you? You always thought you should be thankful for that, at least. 

When you met Seungmin, the world warped from silver to gold. Strength, love, courage, optimism, and most importantly, companionship. Being with Seungmin meant companionship. You didn’t realize just how much that same companionship you loved would break him. You thought you were helping, not hindering. 

Seungmin had other ideas. 

_ _ _ 

“Good morning!” Your cheery voice filled the air. Across the way, Seungmin glided across the hardwood flooring with sleep in his eyes and sock-clad-feet. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up. 

“I made you coffee and I packed your lunch for the day.” 

“Okay.” 

“And I made you breakfast.” 

A grunt left his lips. Usually exhausted from the leftover bits of sleep, you didn’t take this as a bad thing, but rather a chance to continue. “So I was thinking that maybe after you finish work, we could-” 

“We can’t,” he interrupted before you could finish. “I have to stay at work late. I don’t know when I’m going to be home.” 

“That’s okay, maybe tomorrow we-” 

He sighed and rolled his eyes. The sight caused you to freeze. Your stomach twisted itself in knots. For whatever reason, the actions caused a lump in your throat. You didn’t dare finish your sentence. 

“Don’t you get tired of wanting to do everything together? God, you’re so clingy. Can’t you just go away or something? It’s to the point where I can’t even wake up and have my own breakfast because you think you know me better than myself.” 

“Don’t you get tired of doing this all the time?” He gestured around the kitchen. “Can’t you just worry about yourself for once? This is exhausting. You’re like a moth that keeps coming to my front porch light and every time I try to leave, you launch yourself at me. It’s not healthy.” 

The words swung and chipped away at your soul. The fine grains of sand shifted and down you fell. Sucked into a hole, more sand slid, and it suffocated you. It burned your lungs more than anything. The lump in your throat grew so prominent, you figured it’d burst into a sob. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you uttered weakly. Shame dusted your cheeks and caused your ears to burn red. “I-I didn’t know I was making you feel that way. I’ll stop.”  Your head bowed, hoping for forgiveness. 

“It’s about damn time,” he mumbled. His eyes cast over to the granite countertop. The warm cup of coffee you made him sat steaming. “I don’t even want hot coffee this morning. I want it cold.” He reached for the freezer, as if his words just didn’t matter. 

You blinked rapidly. The bite of tears became harder and harder to fight. Glossy little things coated your eyes and turned you into a mess. With your head ducked, you disappeared from the kitchen and back to your shared bedroom. 

You didn’t know why it hurt so much. His demands and outcry, it was a reasonable demand. You knew you could be overbearing, but on the other hand, it’s all you knew. You knew how to be overbearing and fill everyone’s cup before your own. To make sure every other plate is filled with food before you grab yours. 

Was that really such a bad thing? 

_ _ _ 

When you define yourself, you can't do it alone. The shape of other people clouds your silhouette. For as long as you could remember, there was never just you. Someone to please. Someone to manage. Someone to take care of. Your responsibilities littered with the sake of others. 

But what about you? Who picked you first? Who made sure you were tucked into bed and contained a stomach lined with a filling, hearty meal? Who took care of you when your shoulders slumped and you lay defeated due to disease? Who picked you up when you were down? 

Seungmin’s words stuffed your ears all day. The harsh words whispered against your eardrums, even without his presence. Who were you really? Alone. Isolated. Someone unable to find yourself in the murky sea of life. 

The tears kept coming and they stung. It became harder and harder to idly stand and continue working. Your shift stretched on and on. The entire time, you wanted to go home and curl beneath the covers. 

Who were you, really? Deep down, through the fixtures you hung, the need to care for others, what lay at the bottom of the ocean of you? What treasure unfolded? What kept you sane throughout all of this? 

By the end of the day, you weren’t sure if you ever really knew who you were from the start. A present day mess, warped and morphed by the past. You did what you had to survive. That’s all you knew. 

Why wasn’t it good enough? 

_ _ _ 

In the underbelly of the darkened night, guilt eased into Seungmin’s bones. He remembered the way your smile faded from your face. The hurt siphoned in your eyes. He knew he hurt you, but he didn’t know how to take it back. He spat out the words so easily, but coming to terms with his dickheadness, it hurt. All you wanted to do was make his life simpler. 

Jeongin picked up the lingering silence quite easily. As he drove Seungmin back to your shared apartment, he glanced over. “What’s wrong with you? You’re usually talking my ear off, but now you refuse to utter more than two sentences.” 

“Do you ever do something you regret? Lash out in a fit of frustration and never know what to say to heal the hurt? Because I said something this morning. I could have worded it better and I just…” 

“Ah, trouble in paradise.” Jeongin’s hands gripped the wheel tighter. He adjusted his grip on the wheel. “Well, I’ve lived most of my life with seven other guys who annoy me to no end because I’m the youngest. Remember the time I got mad at Chan because he kept babying me?” 

“Because you’re a baby in our eyes.” 

“I’m not much younger than you. I just wanted to be seen for myself. Not as a baby. Not as someone incapable. I might appear younger in your eyes, but I’m still grown, you know?”

“I know. We know. Sometimes, you’re just so cute, I can’t help it.” He reached out a hand and ran it through Jeongin’s hair. He yelped and shoved his hand away. Seungmin chuckled and glanced back out the window. 

Bits and brightened pieces of Seoul passed by. Buildings ignited with light. People scattered here and there. On their own path, a hundred lives flickered before him. Each one with their own thoughts and opinions. The passing thought caused his head to lean up against the window. Jeongin adjusted in his seat and kept driving. 

“My words came out wrong this morning. I worry about them a lot. I always do. When I see them constantly taking care of me, I worry so much. I worry that I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not working hard enough to make them feel appreciated. Maybe, as much as it hurts, maybe I’m the shitty boyfriend that nobody wants.” 

“Then tell them that and talk through it.” 

_ _ _ 

When the door cracked open with Seungmin’s homecoming, you stared at the pile of dishes from the previous night. You always let the dishes from the previous dinner soak overnight. The bits and pieces of food stuck and dried to the sides. You let it soak with soapy water and that never changed until now. You worried that maybe if you did the dishes, Seungmin would grow upset again. 

Approaching footsteps soured your heart. Your hands rested against the edge of the sink. You didn’t bother moving them. Seungmin appeared in the door frame of the kitchen with messy hair. 

“You’re still here? Good. We need to talk.” 

Your fingers tightened around the lip of the sink. Your eyes shut and all you could do was hesitate. What if this was it? What if he broke up with you right here and now. What if- 

“I’m sorry.” 

Your eyes reopened and you stared at the wall in confusion. 

“I didn’t mean to snap at you this morning. I understand why you’re upset with me. That was a horrible and shitty thing to do. You just wanted to make sure I was taken care of. I hurt you in an indescribable way and I’m sorry.” 

He waited for your reaction, but you didn’t turn around. He sighed and a hand reached for the back of his neck. “I’m not good at these things. Jeongin said I should talk to you and tell you the truth. The truth is that I worry about you. You’re constantly taking care of me. Sometimes you take care of me and it feels like you abandon your own needs.”

“I love it when you make me morning coffee and breakfast. I like that there’s a thousand little things you do for me, but at the same time, I worry so much. You’re very codependent and I know it’s none of my business how you were raised, but I worry I’m being a horrible and terrible boyfriend.” 

The words sent a wave of panic through your heart. You jerked around instantly to find him. “Don’t say that, you’re not a horrible and terrible boyfriend.” 

“You do so much for me and what do I do for you? When you’re constantly taking care of me, you abandon yourself. You forget that your needs are important, too. I’m capable of taking care of myself. I know you like doing that, but we have to find a balance.” 

You didn’t respond right away. His words took a few moments to settle into your skull. He shifted the weight on the balls of his feet. “So I’m sorry and I know that doesn’t cut it. I said horrible things this morning out of my own stupid insecurity. I know you’re upset and mad, but what I’m trying to say is, please don’t be upset forever.” 

His eyes squeezed shut. “Because the truth is so much harder to describe. I love you so much and I’m afraid one day, you’ll see me as this horrible person because you do so much. I’m always working and so busy, what do I contribute to this relationship? It feels like you do everything. I try to do things too, but you’re really the only one contributing consistently.” 

“That's all I know how to do,” you finally whispered. “I don’t know how to be alone. I don’t know how to exist without taking care of others. For so long, it’s all I’ve ever known. Outside of that, I don’t know who I am.” 

Someone squeezed Seungmin’s heart and milked out despair. His silhouette blurred and before you knew it, you were wrapped up in a hug. The familiar scent of some fancy cologne, a subtle birchwood and vanilla. 

“Then we’ll figure it out together. We’ll grow and figure out how to balance each other out. It’ll take a while, but if we’re honest with each other, we can figure this out, right?” 

You nodded and sniffled. Seungmin squeezed you tighter and you wrapped your arms around one of his arms. “Thank you for being honest,” you whispered. 

“Shut up. Thank you for being you and taking care of me. I don’t deserve your love sometimes.” 

“You’ll always deserve to be loved.” 

“And you deserve to be taken care of, so shut up and let me hold you.” 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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