#and dont use the excuse theyre fictional

[diemight-a]

not directed at anyone on my dash so dw but if you. age up canonically underage characters to write smut. you’re fucking weird. and i don’t want you anywhere in my line of sight. same goes for people who wait the second they turn legal and writes smut. please do not. thank you.

[lilbirdblu]

obligatory disclaimer to all the "its just mc eggs its not that deep" people that this is about characters. we are allowed to post character analysis, even ones that arent positive, about fictional characters no matter what medium theyre from. this is 10000% about the characters, not the admins and there are moments i may not know about since i cant watch every pov but heres my thoughts on the sunny/leo "beef"

which it feels wrong, at this point, to even call it beef when its mostly one sided on leo's part and the adults are failing both sunny and leo

does leo have the right to be wary about the new eggs? 100%, absolutely

does that excuse her recent treatment of sunny? no

is leo to blame for her behavior? well, no, she's a child

do i think q!foolish and q!tubbo are good fathers? yes

did they both drop the ball in regards to this situation and should have handled it better? yes, but that doesnt mean its not too late now

again, i dont fault leo for being distrustful and cautious of the new eggs, its more than reasonable given what shes gone through. im glad she's warmed up to pepito and i think it's a good choice on foolish's part to not force her to interact with anyone she doesnt like while still encouraging her to try. that being said, i think he should say something to leo about how she has recently been treating sunny because it is quickly getting to the point where it is bullying, not "beef"

to be fair, maybe he hasnt seen [in character/roleplay] the extent to which she has treated sunny, and obviously none of the parents are aware of the baby fight club, but even then, someone should say something to leo if they see behavior similar to how leo treated sunny after the fight [although i believe foolish and roier are two of the only people she will actually listen to /neu] with that being said, i dont think foolish takes it very seriously and at the end day has a rather "well what can you do" type of mentality about it.

we know that leo is stubborn and can be a little hard headed, which is one of the reasons why i personally love her, but its been toeing the line in regards to sunny and i feel as though she crossed it during the baby fight club. sunny has been trying to take leo's feelings into consideration [among other eggs, such as tallulah, who excuse it as distrust of the new eggs despite being warm/neutral to both em and pepito while being harsher to sunny].

the fact that the fight ended and sunny was trying to leave when leo blocked the exit and continued to hit sunny shows that her feelings towards sunny are more than just apprehension. even ramon, leo's triplet, felt the need to step to in and separate them out of concern for sunny's well being.

i can also see the nuance of leo's behavior: its the first time where she has disliked someone and been forced to be in close vicinity/interact with them, and no one has taught her that this sort of behavior isnt ok so how is she supposed to know better?

its not an excuse by any means, but it doesnt make it any less bullying than it is. this is where the adults are failing not just sunny [by being bystanders] but theyre failing leo, too.

and sure, disagreements and fights between the eggs is interesting.. when it comes from both parties but when you have one egg--one child--who doesnt want to be around another egg child in consideration of their feelings while the other egg child vandalizes their things and hits them to the point of almost being downed--that's not a disagreement. thats bullying.

does leo have to like sunny? no

do i think that they have more in common and similar feelings of loneliness that they both dont realize, which could make way for a friendship? yes

would i mind if leo never warms up to sunny? no

its realistic. sometimes kids just.. dont get along and thats ok, its good to teach children that we arent going to get along with everyone or even like them [and not everyone is going to like us and we shouldnt try to force them to], but its also important to teach children that not liking somebody doesnt make it okay to treat them poorly or bully them.

in fact, this would be a really good situation in which both leo and sunny can learn the aforementioned, especially since their fathers are good friends that enjoy one another's company so i dont see them stopping hangouts anytime soon so leo and sunny will hopefully learn to, at the very least, be civil with one another. i hope this is the direction the story goes because a bully arc is one of the last things i personally want to watch

i understand its hard, especially when their first languages are not one that they share, but thats what the qsmp is all about, isnt it? coming together in spite of language barriers

im hoping the sunny/leo situation takes a turn for the better, even if it takes time to get to a point where they are mostly indifferent to one another w/o excessive antagonizing

with all that said, i will always have faith in the admins to give us their best, even if the outcome isnt what we wanted or expected

[msaw]

im feeling very insane right now and my current interest is these turtles so by some weird geometry proof theorem i am going to go insane over these turtles. i hope you find some enjoyment in my needlessly angry old man rambling

spoilers for tmnt 2012 season 3 episode 2 "a foot too big"

the background plot of this episode explores donnie and april's feelings toward eachother WOOOHOOOO. donnie, being the saint he is, decides to make a custom music box for her. he completely made it himself cause where is he gonna get a pre-made music player from that desolate place theyre in

adorable. so he gives it to april and you know what she does? you wanna know how she reacts?? do you???? do you?!???!?!?!??!?!?!??! she gives a half-assed compliment and "thanks" and then excuses herself and runs off to do god knows what. doesnt even take it with her.

girl if somebody gave me that gift i would instantly fall head over heels for them. WHAT IS HER MAJOR MALFUNCTION!!!!!! even if she doesnt like him back, that is still a gift her friend made for her and she shouldve given him a hug or a firm handshake, or if not that, then at least SOUND a bit more grateful!!!

and then somehow donnie is made out to be the one in the wrong later in the episode. ohhh im gonna asplode

this isnt something id normally get mad at, i am uninterested in unrequited fictional crushes most of the time, and i wouldnt be so mad at this either if it werent for the fact that APRIL KEEPS BAITING HIM!!!!!! AND HE KEEPS FALLING FOR IT!!!!!!!!! she kisses him at the end of the episode. after the anguish she caused him in the beginning she has the audacity to do that. she shouldve kissed him directly after he gave her the music box but she didnt. you missed your chance girl stop trying

afterwards, donnie accurately replicates how i feel after witnessing this heresy

you understand nothing because she IS NOTHING!!! SHES A PLAYER!!!! RUN!!! RUN DONNIE RUN!!!

this could all be avoided if she told him a simple "i dont like you" or "i do like you" but noOOOOooo for some reason its gotta be complicated

ok rambling over. i do believe i just beat a dead horse, but i like to type and tumblr is one of the only two mainstream social medias i use anymore so you get my slop. this is msaw reporting live, more hogwash at 11

p.s. you wont hear this topic from me again tbh

[aropride]

TRIPS AND SPILLS MY TOXIC CHEMICALS* ALL OVER THE FLOOR OF MY BLOG

rpf is fine. weird, but fine. all fandom is weird that's like the whole point of fandom

BUT being invasive or rude about rpf or shipping etc is not fine

i unironically identify as a cat

ppl who use contradictory labels r cool. who gaf

shoplifting is fine

using she/her for gerard is fine i dont think he cares. genuinely speculating & digging into their life 2 "prove" theyre a woman is weird however. it's not our business i fear

furries are awesome

i love pansexuals. i love mspec gays. i love women who are gay men and men who are lesbians. i love trans people who don't pass and trans people who don't want to. i love lesbians and gay men who kiss each other. i love asexuals. i love aromantics. i love polyamorous people. i love neopronouns. if u disagree w any of that i dont like u

the term "narc abuse" is just a more ableist word for emotional abuse

i believe in fictionkinity and that i am fictional characters reincarnated

im a childrens cartoon watcher and in fact a childrens cartoon tumblr blog haver

i fucking hate people with proana blogs. i know theyre mentally ill and that absolutely does not excuse having a proana/"only pro for myself" blog

calling people losers for not drinking/smoking weed/having sex/whatever is mean and bad, actually

making fun of people online is mean, actually

calling people ugly is mean, actually. yes even if you dont like them. yes even if they did something bad

*theyre toxic chemicals that make people want to unfollow me soooo bad

[brideofbriar]

since glomas is coming up id like to say somethings specifically abt rollo

him hating mages is not racist as mages may be low in population but they're not a minority group as they usually hold high places in the world. faes on the other hand are a minority as they're discriminated against. rollo hates magic nd its users, not faes.

but he is also implied to hate fae. by his logic a person js a sinner only if they activly use magic, which means he has nothing against faes that don't use magic. except faes need maic to live nd so far we havent gotten any info abt faes who dont use magic so this point is debatable.

the only reason why people think that he is racist becuz he is twisted from frollo, a racist priest who has committed ethnic cleansing nd becuz twisted wonderland's writing is twisted wonderland's writing (aka not the best).

he can get redeemed if he faces judgement, punishment nd consequences for his actions nd truly grows as a person. also he should learn that the death of his brother was no one's fault nd that he cant discriminate against people becuz of an accident nd that his trauma doesn't excuse his actions. but knowing twst this probs wont happen.

edit:: i forgot to add this but he wants to wipe magic out completely which means wiping out faes nd fairys but the way he is presented shows that he isnt thinking of the consequences of his actions nd only the "positive" outcome, which makes sense considering he is eighteen.

also another thing that confuses me is that his thinking is not explained well because why would a teenager's first thought after loosing his younger be to exterminate magic? that makes no sense unless it was to get rid of the self blame or influenced by a third party. maybe if we get chapters abt rsa nd nbc after b7 it could be expanded on.

also also, rollo himself is a mage that hates magic, which is similar to sebek who is a half fae that hates humans. not completely the same as faes r a minority nd mages arent but both half internal conflict abt who theyre which causes them to have negative feelings abt that part of them. (idk if i explained this well)

also also also, in twst there is this whole parallel between that characters nd the villians theyre based one. the villians r evil while the twst charas r js traumatised teens with reason behind their behaviour, with rollo's reason is that HE believes that wiping out magic is for the best. we dont know anything bout rollo's parents so they might not be around or maybe theyre the ones who put this idea in his head.

another thing that people tend to forget is that rollo is 18. he was younger than that when his brother died nd no one ever tried to tell him that his thoughts r bad. blaming him for his trauma induced thoughts that were never shut down is not rlly the best thing to do. do i realise he is fictional? yes. but this is something many teen go through including myself. not the attempted genocide but still.

again js like in nrc, no one in nbc ever picked up on his behaviour nd tried to talk to him or stop (at this point bruv js blame the adults). crowley never picked on the struggles of his students until they overblot and the head of nbc didnt pick up on rollo's behaviour.

does this mean he is a saint. nah literally the opposite. nd to prove that imma list down all the things he did.

attempted murder

tried to kill the prince of brair valley which could cause a war

discrimination

generally a bad person with a bad attitude (nd a bad haircut)

plotted against malleus simply because he is one of the strongest mages

endangered innocent students

arson

attempting to justify his actions

nd even after all of that he got no punishment. at least he shouldve been expelled. at worst? probably jail or a mental hospital.

does this mean u cant hate him? nope. does this mean u cant like him? also no. do as u like, im js trynna educate. plz dont try to kill me 🙏 nd for the love of god js stop arguing.

[spicybylerpolls]

I mean... people act differently in the bedroom. Just point blank, if you look at your friend and go "she would never do that nah." Its possible, she could be a closet freak. No one acts like themselves in the bedroom. So nothing is really out of character unless there is canon material for how they act in such situations.

i just found this on a reddit thread that complains about smut being out of character in fandom in general and it seems like these debates we have re: byler (esp top and bottom, sub and dom) happen everywhere, and tbh, that fact alone speaks volumes? the above argument has been used for byler on this very blog! while it is technically true, it also seems to me to be a bit too obvious and a crutch/excuse for bad writing. for example, the duffers could have said 'mike has never been in a mall before s3, who knows how he'll react?' and then he's opening s3 just twerking on the mall fountain while waving his top around cos he's so excited about all the new shops and the free cinema trips and ice cream. i mean, technically its possible, but is that really mike?

thats a very infantile example because sexuality is complex. but my point is: I KNOW people do act differently in the bedroom, because it brings out another side of people, but the point stands about what 'out of character' actually means, and in writing you need a set of rules decreeing the boundaries of a fictional character - a personality outline - because otherwise their edges blur and they become everyone and no one. and i think this is the problem with lots of smut, as this user wrote:

It's sex scenes where characters stop being themselves and just start being people who are having sex. The sex scenes that feel very could-be-in-any-fandom. Like, for example, when people stop talking like themselves, and not because it's dirty talk or kink or whatever.

THIS! the amount of smut i've read where mike and will could suddenly be interchangeable with any character from any story anywhere, because theyre just two bodies doing sex acts. there are carbon copy phrases and buzzwords (apparently there's even a famous essay on this, says one user: 'you may enjoy ariaste's one finger/two fingers/three fingers/cock rant...')

this is what i mean when i say bad writing. someone on the thread explained that 'A lot of fanfiction is wish-fulfillment, and many of us want to believe the characters we're attracted to are sex gods, even if there's no canonical evidence of it.' the idea of mike and will being sex gods made me laugh and i think very few people who discuss byler seriously here believe they would be, but the operative phrase here is 'characters we are attracted to.' i think this is an unspoken part of fandom, and what divides fans who create fanworks, and original creators. the argument 'the duffers aren't creeps for writing teen sex so why are we?' does hold much water, not because writing smutfic makes you a creep, but because fans are infatuated with characters in a way that original creators usually aren't.

but why not? i dont think it's weird or bad to fall in love with a character. but this still doesnt answer the question of why many writers choose to lean towards this tried-and-typical smut style rather than aiming to emulate the characterisation or writing style of the original creators. so....

why do people think this might be? here are some of my suggestions, and i would love if some of the people who respond are also people who have written/thought about writing their own smut and answer honestly about their thought processes! choose the best that applies to you. thanks to all who partake!

A) the only access to erotic literature i've had in general is via fanfiction, so i can't see any other way of writing it.

B) i've read published erotic fiction and i end up emulating that rather than fanfiction, so i dont think my work is tropey or fanfic-typical.

C) i've read published novels that include sex written in a way i like, so i try to take inspiration from that instead.

D) i write sex the way I have sex/think about sex i've had in real life.

E) i write sex the way I imagine/want to have sex in real life, and this is mostly influenced by porn/fanfiction fantasies.

F) i write sex the way i imagine/want to have it in real life, and this is mostly influenced by my own individual imagination/life experience rather than porn/fanfiction.

G) i prefer the writing style in much of smut fanfiction (e.g. tropes and well-used phrases) because i find them genuinely realistic to character.

H) i prefer the writing style in much of smut fanfiction (e.g. tropes and well-used phrases) because i find them hottest and i typically prioritise this over realistic characterisation.

I) i worry that if my smut is too personal or doesnt read as familiar, people won't like it and i typically (but not always) prioritise audience response over artistic expression or experimentation. i want to add to the canon of byler smut in a familiar way.

J) i try to prioritise what i genuinely think the characters would do during sex rather than my own fantasies/projections/aspirations for either the characters or for myself.

K) i don't usually think this hard about smut.

L) i believe that smut fanfiction, including tropes and well-used buzzwords, does make genuinely compelling and wonderful reading, and i'm happy with the state of smut in general.

Please note that the purpose of this blog is not to be creepy or to make anyone uncomfortable. That's why I created the #spicy byler tag (I will tag all polls with this). If you don't want to see this blog or anything related to it on your feed, please block that tag. Not everyone is comfortable with this sorta stuff, and that's okay.

[evangelionpilled]

i saw someone being an idiot about proshippers so im gonna yap about my opinions on it

basically! people have lost the true definition of proship that its become a buzzword for people who like problematic shit and think it's genuinely okay, when in reality the word proship literally means pro-shipping, like you are for the act of shipping!! its an older term and newer tiktok bitches started misunderstanding it

do i think that the common "proshipper" is bad? yeah! i dont like when people ship problematic stuff and try to excuse it. but when it comes to understanding dark media and looking at problematic ships, i personally do Not care what ppl do as long as its not harming anyone irl! and yeah i know fiction can affect reality however as long as you understand that the content is in fact bad stuff and should not be replicated or glorified then idc what u do

like bitches be shipping light and L from death note despite that both of them want the other dead! that is NOT a healthy dynamic irl but theyre also really fun to think about being gay for eachother BECAUSE ITS FICTION!!!!!!

anyway thats my take if u think every single person who uses the proship label is a horrible person and should kts then please leave my page and if ur a cool proshipper who understands what it means to separate fiction and reality then hi im super cool :3 yall are safe here

[voiceofsword]

every1 that voted rinne as worst husband is so wrong... its literally canon that he cares SO much and fakes his insane persona hes just awkward and embarassed when he gets noticed

i have so many things i can say about this but im really bad at words but theyre stewing around in my brain explodes

what were your thoughts?

i do agree with the ones that mention niki haha those are true rinne is absolutely smitten but the ones that say its like. because hes rinne amagi. and others thay were probably filtered out by the OP... people that either didnt read the main story or just dont want to look further lmao

(cracking my fingers) okay. this may or may not be long. i fear you have struck a bit of a nerve with this (NOT YOU but just as like. a general statement. i feel like u dont know what ur asking. but that is ok)

this whole thing might seem really aggressive at times bc this situation did get me a little heated... plz keep that in mind going in! AGAIN IM NOT ANGRY AT YOU ANON ILY AND THANK YOU FOR ASKING you just happened to ask abt smth i feel very sourly about – not the poll itself but the answers to it – but i tried to be as. tactful as i possibly can while talking abt this

overall im very disappointed in a lot of the answers given for the voting so ive stayed off twitter almost all day today and yesterday. i fear like with stuff like this a very silent population of eng side shines through, the one that specifically Doesnt actually engage with the story and goes off fanon interpretation. look, im not saying its necessarily a bad thing. but when it comes to stuff like this, where people grossly mischaracterize a grand majority of charas or narrow them down to be the butt of a joke, or use it as an excuse to be plain racist/ableist, i feel like people really need to reassess where all of this is coming from. like. not rinne, but KANAME couldnt even be included because the answers used for his votes were, in their majority, apparently ableist, and op (definitely in the right, i think this was the right choice to make) chose not to post at all because they feared the qrts would be just as bad. because for some reason people seem to think that because they're fictional characters that being ableist is somehow ok, that saying they would "pull the plug" on charas like him and eichi is fine because theyre not real people – as if there werent disabled or chronically ill people in this fandom, in every fandom, or hell, around you?

and lets not mention tatsumi and people blatantly misinterpreting his christianity as something he would force upon others – first of all, western christianity does not apply to tatsumi. at all. i understand that people might find it easy to just associate him with that and make "haha, he would make me convert" or "haha he would be a homophobe" quips, and obviously its not necessary to have extensive knowledge on kirishitan history in japan and how they are, to this day, a minority that was persecuted for a lot of japan's modern history. LIKE, EVEN FROM HIS DIALOGUE IN ANY STORY.. when has he given off that impression? cite your sources, he's literally one of the most inclusive and accepting charas in the whole cast! not a prejudiced white christian middle aged mom...

i think that if you absolutely must reduce a character to tasteless jokes, stereotypes that arent even funny to begin with, and you refuse to even read the source content at all to correct yourself, you really need to think about how you engage with any media, not just enstars. if you want to look at the pretty characters just say that! but dont be like this, and don’t speak on things you don’t fully understand as if you did just to make a point or be funny! 

OKAY RINNE SORRY LOL i hate it. i hated all of it and judging by the ratio many people seemed to dislike it as well (god bless!). if you havent seen it i wont link it bc tbf i dont feel like looking at it again (peace and love) but the answers summed up are like "oh he would steal my money" "hes selfish and would take stuff from me and not gaf about my wellbeing" "hes married to niki already" the last one being the only one i agree with. and it makes me think about a lot of issues with how a good portion of the fandom sees rinne. ive seen a lot of people read rinne in bad faith, regardless of whether theyve read main story, hot limit or any story rinne is in. and i dont get it, genuinely. YES he can be upsetting! he can be an asshole, he can be rude, he DOES steal money from niki! but these people neglect to see or mention that he gives it back and then some. they fail to talk about how he spends a lot of his time trying to make niki see his self worth!! since hiiro was BORN he's been trying to get him to understand that he's deserving of love!! that YES he can be a dick but ultimately treats crazy:b and his friends with love and wants what's best for them! these are the same ppl that think he's abusive or something idk i can only assume. like yeah rinne has a carefully crafted persona where hes a complete dickhead and ig some players cant really bother to see past that act

unfortunately rinne himself is built on a few harmful stereotypes of ainu culture irt the drinking, being portrayed or viewed as more 'uncouth' by other characters, etc which is why the initial more explicit ties to ainu culture were removed altogether from his and hiiros design and background. it is understandable, which is for example why it's not really my place to say whether he can be interpreted as ainu or not, and even so, i try not to rely on those aspects of him because it still veers into sensitive territory. and its an unfortunate part of his character, but undeniably, rinne amagi DOES drink, (he's one of the only characters in main cast of drinking age anyway) does partake in harmful behaviors, but fsr suddenly that means hes nothing but a drunkard, to a lot of people. when reading rinne you really have to take these things and ofc, consider that theyre relevant to his character, but it's not all there is...? in the slightest..? there used to be a tweet thread explaining this link further but it's either been taken down or the account has been locked. either way, just a bit of googling goes a long way. i'd rather not go into too much detail here because i don't feel informed enough beyond pointing these issues out, and i personally feel like it's not really my place. if anybody wants to add onto this post to cite more specific sources please feel free

he's such a fun loving, cunning, caring guy who helps people get jobs (dance of the white tiger), who volunteers to play with kids at a daycare (asobi), and wishes so badly to become an idol and grant everyone the same opportunities if theyd like to be, as well (main story, sudden death SUDDEN DEATH IS MY FAV STORY AFTER HL BUT THE TL IS DOWN....SORRY. but i really really think it's one of the most important ones when it comes to rinne's character and motivations. also if u can read it in app it's even better bc it's voiced and theres a line where he's like "oh this guy's [niki] is engaged to me" when talking to kohaku's sister AND HE SOUNDS FULLY SERIOUS TOO....)

don't get me started on people who dumb him down as if he wasn't one of the most clever characters in the game. and unknowingly, people that continue to make rinne's character out to simply be a gambling flirty drunkard who doesn't know how to control himself, as if there weren't other facets of him – they lean into stereotypes, bordering on racism, even if its not malicious or theyre not aware. and it makes me so sad. a lot of the time these interpretations are spread around and then liking characters like him becomes some sort of moral debate, esp in current fandom (which is one of the reasons i think this stereotyping? happens? b/c ive found that fandom sometimes has the tendency of grabbing characters and mischaracterizing them so BADLY that liking them makes you a bad person..? not necessarily villains either! i promise it's okay to just dislike characters without making stuff up!)

that aside also suggesting he'd be an awful, neglectful spouse is simply incorrect. i very firmly believe that if rinne is devoted, he will drop every vice, every pretense, to make the other person happy. he's Like That in the story and towards niki because they keep tiptoeing around the subject but the second he gets an inner monologue, or is truly being genuine, you can tell he would do anything for him, if niki would just let him. to say that rinne isn't capable of being a good partner because he'll treat you badly or not care about you just proves to me that you're not reading any scene he is actually in. if rinne loves you, romantic or not, he will go big or go home. read hot limit btw

im not about to pull the story caps out no wait yes i am lol rinniki4ever ✌️

these arent in order bc i had to scroll up like 2k pictures because i take caps of this game every time i blink. i was considering adding hiiro caps, to show his dedication to him as well, but given that this is for like a marriage poll id rather not. either way he cares about his family and loved ones a lot. read chapter 155 if you want to know the exact scene i was thinking about/referring to while typing this

um ok (breathes out) im fine now. theres things i didnt address because it's 1 am and i want to go to sleep. congrats kuro on getting #1 most marriageable tho u deserve it KURO NUMERO 1 CAMPEAO DO MUNDO 💯💯💯🔥

[reverberation-ensemble]

i feel like elena represents some of the more complicated issues in the reverberation ensemble tbh

obviously shes a bloodfiend and she needs blood from living things ( most of her targets are humans ) to survive , and even if her actions were sinister or unnecessary ( like building an entire hideout inside of the citys sewage with human interiors ) i dont think she was 100 % wrong for mostly going after humans . however how she handled that is debatable

i dont think there are many non human organisms in the city ( saying this instead of " animals " because the crabs [something we consider animals] are referred to as Organisms in limbus , though maybe animal & organism is interchangable ? ) and she admits that the skin , bone & organ is not what shes looking for , but instead the flesh & blood of the organism .

i also dont expect her to find a place that just so happens to be giving out blood donations & be able to make sufficient enough funds without starving or dehydrating herself , ( even if they were able to survive without blood , iirc for bloodfiends theyre mostly impulsive & have an unquenchable thirst specifically For blood ) . elena says shes a victim solely because shes a bloodfiend , which , shes not a victim of roland directly for that ( despite blaming him for certain things ) .

she is a victim of the city , she lacked any kind of help she could turn to so she turned to worse choices , while she couldve easily stuck to the backstreets to target her victims , the people there were probably malnourished & mostly boney , so she had people kidnapped from the nest instead . the problem arrives when she brags about her kill count to roland & angelica : 4172 . she absolutely did not need to do this , she speaks as if what shes doing is barely a problem or even honourable , it doesnt come off as someone who was starving and felt like it was the only right thing to do .

i know earlier i said she wasnt 100 % wrong for certain things , but she also isnt … right about certain things . while she did use part of her targets for food she also used their veins for decoration , she felt almost nothing towards them , she only saw them as prey to catch & kill . obviously shes dehumanizing her victims , but shes not human herself . shes a humanoid bloodfiend . maybe you could argue that she should be held up to the moral standards of a human because she can think & act like one , but i dont think thats entirely true . shes animalistic in a way , she has certain uncontrollable urges & needs that a human wouldnt .

regardless , shes still not entirely a " victim " of roland but she places the blame on him since he bested her a major fight few years back . she was a victim of the way the city treated her maybe earlier in her life , but her actions arent really justifiable when she gets to the point where shes flat out bragging that she killed over 4000 people . the system failed her as a bloodfiend but she failed to find a better solution .

but all of this is kinda weird when you take into consideration that the discrimination elena faced for being a bloodfiend is an allegory for racism , ofcourse i know that fiction & reality arent comparable in certain cases ( like roland being forgiven or let off by someone who wasnt even harmed by his past extreme actions ) , but i guess its itchy to think about for me especially considering who i am & what ive experienced . elena is someone whos obviously went down the wrong path due to the discrimination she faced but a lot of her issues didnt even come directly from the racism she faced as a bloodfiend , i dont like to think that shes using it as an excuse or mask but instead that she doesnt realize the full extent of what shes done is awful . ofcourse shes not excused of her actions because of that though .

TL;DR shes practically morally grey but mostly leaning towards just being kind of " evil " , some things she does are straight up awful but some things are just the result of her being chased into a corner . this entire txt was just the result of me being really passionate about her character , i dont know if i fucked up inbetween the paragraphs ( i was constantly finding a way to close this up without leaving any loose ends ) but i think its mostly fine ? im really tired it was like 9pm when i started writing this . as if now its like 10 : 23pm , ive revised the past paragraphs a little to make sure things actually make sense so i think im done . feel free to tell me what you think .

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

A while ago I had a very lovely conversation with @feyres-divorce-lawyer about Tamlin and the way his stans treat him and Feylin and Ive been having a lot of thoughts about that. Essentially, we talked about how Tamlin stans will often claim to be 'better' in some way than Rhysand stans because they dont excuse all of their faves actions but I mean, do they? like actually? I dont mean to generalize because I have seen people who actually dont excuse his actions, but theres an awful lot of people who have posted some variantion of "well, atleast i dont excuse tamlins actions 😊" when they have either previously posted or will go on to post some variantion of "ugh I cant believe feyre would break up with a man who did nothing but upset her, when he was trying so hard and struggling and his actions werent even that bad" or worse, some variation of "feyre's sooooo stupid, if some handsome fae lord wanted me to just wear beautiful dresses and be his pretty little wifeling I would do as he says 😍😍" like hey dawg, I hate to tell you this but thats just straightup misogyny. You can indulge in your fantasies of being a rich magical victorian guy's tradfwife without implying that other women are stupid for not wanting that. Also if you think that and also complain about acomaf and feysand being bad because its just a self-indulgent billionaire's wife fantasy, please consider that you basically want the same thing but with a different aesthetic. Which isnt bad in it of itself obviously, I just find this kind of hypocrisy very annoying

The way I see it, theres a couple reasons why the (positive) discourse around Tamlin is like this:

Tamlin stans get harassed for liking him or even just debunking blatantly false claims from Rhysand stans (such as the claim that Tamlin said Feyre looked better when she lost weight while Rhysand said she looked better when she gained weight which seems oddly persistant, even though I dont think Tamlin ever commented on her weight in acotar, and Im pretty sure that he only commented on how thin she was in acomaf in the context of how bad she looked), so they get very defensive about him, which is understandable

Tamlin is out of character in acomaf which leads a lot of people to dismiss his actions that upset Feyre because "acotar!Tamlin wouldnt do that though!" and like, thats true and I get it but it doesnt really matter when we're talking about their relationship and Feyre's decision to leave him from an in-universe perspective. Like, imagine if someone in your life opened up about how their previously wonderful partner started to exhibit some abusive behaviours and you were like "nooooo theyre just being out of character right now, its fine, you should stay with him". And obviously its different when its real people vs fictional characters, but my point here is that its nonsensical to earnestly engage with this relationship from and in-universe standpoint only to then use an out-of-universe thing that doesnt actually factor into their relationship to explain why it fell apart

Tamlin is less bad than Rhysand, even in acomaf, and excuses for his behaviour sound less ridiculous to people who think more critically about these books, which most Tamlin stans do; "he locked her up in his manor, but only because she was going to get herself in real danger" sounds a lot less ridiculous than "he sexually assaulted her for months on end, but only in order to protect her from drawing Amarantha's attention (when she wasnt even paying attention to her in the first place)", but again, Feyre is still allowed to be upset by that. I feel like theres this line of thinking among certain Tamlin stans where theyre like "yeah, tamlin locked feyre up in the manor and it rightfully upset her, but later on in the series rhysand locked her in a magical shield that prevented her from having any physical interacting with the outside world and she was fine with it, so she shouldve been fine with whattamlin did" and its like no!! If we're using real-world standards, which I understand we are from acomaf onward, then Feyre does not need any kind of justification for breaking up with someone. Tamlin couldve been the most wonderful and perfect and non-traumatized boyfriend ever and it wouldve been perfectly fine for her to be like "hey man, im not really vibing with this" and leave

And this I think is the most important thing because its what the two previous points ultimately stem from; they buy into the foundation of the narrative that these books present, which is that Feyre needs a man in her life, she needs to pick one of these two toxic guys or else her life isnt complete and she wont ever recover from her trauma, she needs good sex and romantic love in order to stop being broken. And I get it, you do need to buy into the narrative in order to properly engage with it, but whats the point of being critical of the misogyny in these books if youre not going to take a step back and realize when youre just accepting it?

And this is where I would have to start getting into the misogynistic baggage thats attached to mainstream romance as a genre and how trying to do all those typical steamy m/f romance tropes (the MOST dominant man, sexually inexperienced fmc, dubcon/noncon, rough sex, etc etc) while also trying to be feminist is setting yourself up for failure as an author, and setting your audience up for failure when they discuss your work, but Im getting tired and this is a pretty long post so Im gonna stop here. If you are interested in my further thoughts on this, idk maybe send me an ask and I'll get back to it. For now, I'll say that I dont think its impossible to write an m/f romance thats feminist, but know for a fact that its impossible for SJM

[kienansidhe]

hi, im kienan! im the current host of the disaster hearts system. we are a korean american body with dissociative identity disorder and have had multiple diff hosts over the course of this blogs run. i or some variation of me have been host since around 2017-18ish. for transparencys sake, the body is 25+. do not ask abt age specifics please.

we are a survivor of csa trauma, parental abuse, religious and cult abuse, and generally very traumatized, and our experience of life is irrevocably colored by that lens.

we are disabled and unable to hold a job ever since we got long covid in april of 2020. we are fully dependent on our partners, working on our disability application, and still coming to terms with the reality of being probably permanently disabled.

unless otherwise specified it is probably some variation of kienan speaking.

-♡♡♡-

i, kienan, am queer and i prefer to be addressed by strangers with he/they/it or fae/faeself pronouns. i dont rlly care which of those you use, tho, no need to rotate or anything.

some other labels that generally describe me: nonbinary, transmasc, gnc, cuntboy, [redacted], [redacted], femme, femboy, genderweird, bi, aro/ace with a couple exceptions, sex favorable, kink obligate, freak, degenerate, pervert.

i currently have 4 partners, referred to here as prettyboyfriend, nesting boyfriend, girlfriend/daddy, and moirail.

no dni, i think theyre stupid and the only ppl i would not want to interact would not respect dnis anyways lmao. if i have a problem with you i will just say so or block you or whatever.

some of my beliefs and what to expect on this blog are under the cut.

i believe in rehabilitation and compassion, full stop. yes, even for those people. i think that othering and dehumanizing others sucks, that thoughts do not define you (yes, even those thoughts), and that the only thing that matters is your actions.

i think callouts are never helpful, ever. ive literally never seen one do anything helpful or good.

i try my best to interact with others in good faith, and i expect the same in return.

we were homeschooled in a cult and our education was heavily ~moderated~ to keep us brainwashed, and every time i think ive rooted out all the misinfo new stuff comes up. please be patient with me if i ask stupid questions, i literally am stupid. i have so much literal actual brain damage. i will do my best to be open minded, i rlly want to learn!

i believe that the best ways to combat csa are better sex education, breaking down the sanctity of the nuclear family, youth liberation (more legal rights and self advocacy for children), and not clogging child abuse report portals with fucking fictional art, jesus h christ.

medicalization of identities sucks. sysmeds, transmeds, im sorry youre miserable but thats not an excuse for trying to make everyone else miserable with you.

labels are only useful insofar as they help you connect with others like you and form solidarity in order to combat systemic oppression. if labels make you angry or miserable, consider not taking them so seriously.

its okay to just dislike ppl. its not always that deep. trying to come up with moral reasons to justify disliking ppl is rlly fucking catholic.

dont talk to me abt christianity. im aware that my trauma affects my ability to be compassionate in this area, so im staying in my lane. in fact probably dont talk to me abt religion in general.

im not a proshipper or an anti i touch grass <3, HOWEVER:

antishipping / purity politics / anti-kink / whatever you wanna call it, ppl equating fictional depictions of Obvious Bad Things with condoning, supporting, or normalizing them in real life are fucking stupid and have done unbelievable amounts of damage that has now reached far beyond fandom and kink circles. get a life, for fucks sake.

ppl who call themselves proshippers and then go around harassing antis are fucking stupid and have lost the original spirit of the term proship / anti-anti, which hinged around not harassing or harming others over fiction. get a life, for fucks sake.

just be kind. dont be a dick. treat others how you wanna be treated. we are all traumatized but thats not an excuse to be cruel. leave the world better than you found it.

youre gonna make mistakes. you just are. youre not perfect and also the world is complex. remember that you cant help everyone. try your best but dont lose yourself in the process.

art is everything. the act of creation is holy. more progress is made by creating -- building communities, making art, growing plants, building houses, building relationships -- than by tearing things down. there is probably a time and place for violence, destroying oppressive systems, bombing weapons factories, but if we arent creating a positive, healthy society alongside the destruction we are just leaving fertile ground for new oppressive structures to take root. create. create. create.

-♡♡♡-

many hosts has left a chaotic mess of tags on this blog but here are some we use pretty consistently:

#headspace: original posts. diary rambling, random thoughts, actual semi coherent opinions, anything

#my face: the body

#humans are good actually: reminders

#recovery things: mental health help

#important: there is so much stuff in this tag

#bookmark: too much here too lol

#feel better: just fluffy stuff

#vine: general funny video tag

#about, #me kin id, #i ghostwrote this post: stuff we relate to rlly hard + uquiz tags lol

#posts that are funnier when plural

[sapphire-weapon]

As someone who ships leon and ashley and enjoys reading/consuming taboo topics and relationships in fiction including incestuous ones, it's so funny to me that I don't see eagleone that way at ALL. theyre one of the relationships i purely enjoy for being a cute wholesome romance and who i want to see thriving and happy (albeit i enjoy the tragic love angle too--) and yet they have a sizable age difference and a "power dynamic" (??????) so it's a "proship"... honestly outside of them both having a daddy kink i really dont want to see that with them!!! Its just not what I'm here for. Im here for that in OTHER ships and this was supposed to be my one good one and this is what happens. Lol.

As such I try to just not care when people accuse eagleone shippers of being weird because Im like... well I suppose I AM...... but it is really unfair for the majority of vanilla ones. Honestly I don't think the antis are secret shippers or secret incestuous shippers (...okay maybe like one or two--) I think they just have a "NOTP" or are scared of how much they relate to ashley as you say and are just making excuses for why they hate seeing fanart of them and blocking people who ship them. I notice this in other fandoms where people will say two characters are "sibling coded" and its just their way of saying they don't ship them. It's really weird frankly and they're basically ignoring canon to write worse fanfiction but that's just how it is these days.

personally, it actually blows me away that people think of Leon and Ashley as being "age gap" at all.

in modern day 2023, Leon is 46. Ashley is 39.

that feels really fucking normal to me in terms of ages for a couple LMAO if any of these dumbasses met a couple like that irl out in the wild today, no one would bat an eye. but that would require these people actually leaving the house, so.

the whole "power imbalance" thing is completely disingenuous, too, because people only look at it in the context of the events of the actual game and then pretend like that's going to be the norm for them forever and not, you know, a very unique, atypical, and extreme situation they're in.

but if anyone were to think about it a little bit as opposed to not at all, they'd realize that their power dynamic would shift once they got home, and then shift again once Ashley's dad is out of office -- and when the power dynamic is constantly changing, that's not exactly imbalanced, is it?

Leon has all of the power during the events of RE4make, and Ashley is wholly dependent on him. yes. that's true.

but once they're out of that combat situation and they're back home in DC, Ashley has literally all of the power in the world over him. she outranks him socially, and she theoretically has the power to make his life complete hell in terms of his career if she were to whisper in her dad's ear the right way.

but the title of "president" is a very temporary one, and once those very short few years are over...? neither Ashley nor Leon are in a position to hold any power over each other at all anymore. they just become two regular-ass people trying to fit into each other's lives.

the whole idea behind "Ashley is completely dependent on Leon in RE4make, which means she will always be completely dependent on him" isn't just based on a faulty premise -- it's also really sexist and gross and reduces Ashley to something less than human, because it assumes that she's incapable of autonomous thought.

and it's really funny how it's only the people who hate the ship that actually are problematic in their thought process. they project their internalized misogyny and sexual insecurities onto us.

I am pretty much as deep in the middle of eagleone fandom as a person can possibly be, and I have never known a single one of you fuckers to ship this ship because you have an age gap kink or because you get off on the power dynamics. the only time power dynamics get brought up is when we make knight/queen comparisons -- which actually gives Ashley the greater portion of power.

I mean, yeah, there is the whole thing where a lot of the fandom also is of a mind that there are some daddy issue kinks at play in the ship, but --

I don't wanna hear shit from people about us enjoying daddy kink between Leon and Ashley when literally the entire fucking RE fandom is out here posting pics of shirtless Leon mods and writing the word "DADDY" in giant fucking text at the bottom of the post. goddamn hypocrites.

[scourgefrontiers]

not to be that guy again

but i also dont fuck with anybody who talks about "anti culture" or anything like that when it comes to how shit's portrayed in fiction. i super try to stay out of "proship vs anti" discourse bc its stupid as shit and i have other things to worry about than internet discourse. but i still cant help but express my beliefs which relate to the core argument

dont make me tap the sign. fictional exploration of pedophilia/incest/abuse/etc at all isnt the problem, its the way its portrayed. if youre out here portraying that shit as bad and inexcusable, then youre fine. if youre exploring it in a way that doesnt defend it, then youre fine. if youre out here saying that a 40 year old man getting it on with a 14 year old is cute or sexy, or that two brothers having a sloppy makeout is hot, then yeah im going to burn your house down with you in it

the thing about the "what about fictional murder??? ppl romanticize that all the time and you dont see people turning into murderers irl!" argument is that. well. people dont groom people with murder fics. ppl dont show others art of their favs getting murdered and then try to use that to justify them murdering someone. that just doesnt happen. what Does happen is that ppl use incest/pedophilic ships and art portraying it in a "cute" or "fun" light and they use that to justify their grooming actions. that does happen. ive Seen it happen.

and no, im not saying that getting rid of this depiction of these subjects in media or fanworks is going to Stop All Grooming. thats silly. i know that if theyre going to groom someone theyre going to find a way to do it anyway, im not an idiot. but all im saying is that this shit makes it easier, makes it more accessible, and may even make it more normalized, which i hope you can agree is a bad thing.

exploration is one thing! lots of gothic media has "problematic" shit like that in it. lots of fiction has gross shit that the author doesnt condone irl, theyre just exploring it through writing. however, romanticization is another thing. portraying it as cute and fun is another thing. trying to excuse it by saying its fiction is another thing. thats when you ascend to freak status in my book.

youre not ~making a statement~ by declaring yourself a Proud Proshipper--at least not the one you think you are. youre giving me the signal that you dont care about how certain subjects are portrayed even if theyre harmful, and youre telling me that i should stay far the fuck away from you.

last thing i'll say on this is that for the record i am also against purity culture. i dont think ppl should be watering down media to be Acceptable and Pure all the goddamn time. i dont think ppl should stay away from "problematic" media entirely as long as they can use their brains and be critical and not excuse or defend said problematic content. everything is problematic bitch lets get you some fruit. yknow? theres nuance and context to everything; things arent black and white. trying to take the problems out of everything is a waste of effort and frankly makes everything boring as shit. having said all this, the way things are portrayed and how you interact with them are still important factors and i will stand by that

aight rant over o7

[plaguery]

youtube recommended me a video called "whats with all the incest porn?" and its a defense of it but like. the defense had so many holes and was really messy imo. to be fair i didnt finish the video i watched it as i got ready for work and i had to leave before it was done but it was frustrating me.

like first of all they wanted to separate the term incest from cases of csa. i understand incest is a messy term that can mean a whole host of things but like. even though most cases of csa are incestuous doesnt mean that its not valuable to combine the terms to help describe the full experience?

like i fundamentally disagree with this comment which bounces off the point made in the video itself that "you should just call it what it is, its csa" and that incest should be used to describe consensual relations between blood/familial relatives. the point isnt to make it sound inherently worse but to distinguish a relationship dynamic that is inherent to the abuse. it isnt abusive solely due to the sexual violation its a violation of the supposed safety of the family unit which is different, even if not worse than, other forms of csa that involve the violation of things like the safety of school/church/camp etc. they are very similar in regard to the aspect of an adult or older person abusing the trust children have in them and their vulnerability in contrast to them but like. without regard to severity, the experience of being abused by a relative is somewhat different than that of an outsider. the experience of parent/child and sibling/sibling abuse is even different to each other.

i understand that the term incest is complicated in that it can range from a descriptor term for abuse to consensual relations to murky areas like consensual encounters where they dont know theyre related to a dumb fanfiction term. but just because people will associate all those definitions with csa isnt really an excuse to cut away the meaning of the word?

and then they tried going over the historical (& even more modern) instances of incest and how cultural perceptions change the extent of it being seen as taboo. but they kept mentioning the classic "second cousin marriages" and closed off societies that have had to interbreed for the sake of survival/their only options for sex were relatives. and in the latter case they even kept mentioning how ashamed those groups of people were for what they had to do in an extreme situation. like i dont see how that correlates to the interest in parent/child and sibling/sibling porn that is really prevalent today? especially when they were really focusing on the mainstream step- variety, "fauxcest" as some call it, rather than the straight up fiction variety we're more accustomed to here.

I HAVE TO GO TO WORK BUT I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS ILL TALK ABOUT IT MORE LATER

[meatstronaut]

can i ask why u have lawlu and law x ussop on ur dni? like do u just not vibe w them or is there a serious reason bc mentioned them along with incest ships

they met when they were minors (17 while law was 24) and the age/maturity gap is too wide for what ages they are

7 years is too much of an age gap and a 26 year old should never date a 19 year old

and dont use "well theyre both adults!" as an excuse bc yknow thats such a slimy way to forgive the maturity gap. just bc theyre not minors anymore doesnt necessarily mean theyre not still TEENAGERS. and people keep saying that "laws behavior isnt predatory" is also a strange excuse to forgive the age gap too

stuff like that shouldnt be normalized, no matter what laws behavior would be like

also fiction =/= is proshipper mentality too.

[censorality]

tw // neg rant, poppytwt mentioned, minor x adult ship mentioned

this bitch on a dream smp FANDOM wiki im on is being so fucking stupid i have to post to tumblr on my (kinda) vent blog

this guy is 16 and making a c!tubbo x c!dream fic and calling it off bc he's writing an angst fic

mind you, he's posting this on the fandom wiki, a place filled with other minors

god i havent tuned into the lore and've just heard little tid bits of it but i SWEAR to you c!tubbo was a minor and c!dream was an adult. you already know its fucked up when the ship is like THAT

so im like "well dude c!tubbo's a minor and c!dream's an adult dont u think that sounds a lil wrong??" and HE GOES "well tubbo's like 18-19 around this time in the lore" and im like hello????? what?????

so im like "well a lot of people depict c!tubbo as a minor have u thought about it that way??" and hes like "well its an angst fic its ok!!!!!!"

and im like omg fuck this guy its STUPID AF bc u already implied and said u were shipping them romantically, so i literally dont give a fuck if its an angst fic or not, all i fucking care is that its a MINOR X ADULT SHIP. holy shit

on top of that he uses fundy x dream as an analogy, smth like "dude fundy and dream were shipped together and i thought fundy was canonically like 14!!!" and i said "the fundy x dream bit on the smp WASNT CANON DUDE they were playing as CCs and they were BOTH ADULTS"

anyway i like question his idea of c!tubbo being 18-19 in the smp lore and ask him its confirmed and HE FUCKING GOES "well we dont know his actual age but something tells me he wasnt a kid...."

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?????/

like ffirst of all i literally said most people depict him as a kid and likely wont see the ship in your eyes so !!!!! second of all its still weird!!!

and he just keeps on pulling excuses and literally ANYTHING that could validate his ship, like bending canon lore n shit. and honestly if the defenses need to take THAT MUCH EFFORT to excuse just leave atp

dont get me wrong, honestly, go ham with ur fan fictions. but holy shit if theyre gonna be poppytwt behavior keep it to yourself and dont let it surface the intenet

gonna end it here bc im fucking blanking bc of everything today and im jus soooo tired fuckk