#and deem them 'less than'
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ohhh my god i need to get off this website
#first mistake going into the lesbian tag just to immediately see lesbophobia#crazy to me that the popular stance from so many other gay ppl rn is just ‘lesbophobia is good’#i cannot take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#why is everyone suddenly so obsessed with 'proving' that lesbians can be with men#and why are so many people being so horrible and misrepresenting our history#there absolutely were lesbians that were with men historically. because they were either bisexual women#that were forced to mislabel themselves bc of the violent biphobia in the lesbian feminist movement#or they were women unknowingly dealing with compulsive heterosexuality#like how disgusting do you have to be to look at some of these women and be like 'this was when queers were REALLY QUEER'#instead of like. having empathy and understanding about their situation#and also acknowledge that language has changed. there is no lesbian feminism anymore lesbianism is a sexuality that EXCLUDES MEN#end of sentence#there is a difference between someone questioning or who found out they were lesbian later in life#or historically where these words had different meaning the community & society was Completely Different#versus you assholes deliberately trying to force lesbianism to include men to be 'progressive'#like just so fucking vile. you should be ashamed of yourselves#literally just cannot go into any gay spaces as a lesbian anymore because it's just constant lesbophobia and no one cares#theyre more concerned with being So Inclusive and the Better Queer that they'd rather exclude an entire part of the community#and deem them 'less than'#while parroting the same shit conservatives say to all lesbians#did you win? do you feel good about ignoring and talking over and excluding us?
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yea everything legato did was a lil fucked up but consider: it was enrichment for him
#your honor i love him. extremely fucked up little guy#legato bluesummers is a case study in ‘i dont want to get better i want to be Worse’#neeeeeeeed to like. dig into legatos fucked up sense of self and reconciling his own humanity (and long-term dehumanization) paired w knives#hatred of humanity#something something knives as a higher being a holy angel and deity to worship. distinctly inhuman. someone who shouldnt be sullied with#human imperfection#and then legato. who has been so heavily dehumanized on so many levels because of long term abuse. legato who is deemed as less than human#by both his abusers and himself. who wants to be Seen by knives more than anything#who wants to be loved by knives So Badly.#but he’ll never get it. because he isnt vash#something something if i cannot be loved by you as an equal i will settle for whatever scraps of love you offer me like a dog#too many thoughts this is not a good way of getting them out. just know. i love him.
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Spark
Phone Notes 1
As they were about to open the door— about to make it to freedom— fingers clamped down on their wrist. A scream bubbled up in their throat, but his words cut them off.
“I rolled over and went to cuddle my wife, but they weren’t there.” A cheek nuzzled against them, “want to tell me where they went?”
Cold sweat gathered at their brow while Whumpee scrambled for a response. They gaped like a fish locked in his arms, Whumper’s fury palpable in the tense atmosphere, but no excuse came to mind. They was so close.
“Hmm? No answer.” He tightened his grip even more, leaving finger shaped bruises on their skin. “You know what I think,” Whumper’s voice dropped an octave, becoming deep and gravely with anger, “I think my pretty, little wife took my generosity for granted, sneaking out of our bed, the one I was nice enough to leave them unbound in, and took advantage of their husband’s exhaustion, not caring at all about the hard work he does to keep them here well fed, safe, and pampered. That little bitch of a wife tried to escape their loving husband for what?” Whumper was seething, each word bit out, trying, but failing, to keep his composure. “Some woman who doesn’t even realize you’re gone. A job you were forced into despite your affinity for research. A repetitive life that takes your all, but never gives anything in return. A lonely existence without someone to rely on or care for.”
He let out a long sigh. “I simply don’t understand why you would want to escape Whumpee. I have given you everything you need here. All you need is to stay with me. Why do you want to —“
Whumpee whipped around to look at him in disbelief, a scoff leaving their lips at the absurd question. “We both know why I don’t want to be here.” They wiggled out of his loosened arms, swiftly turning their back on him and walking to their— his— room. Whumpee knew when to abandon their current mission to retry again another day.
Stunned by their swift dismissal, Whumper stared after them in shock before hurrying along to their room. He hadn’t expected them to respond with such harsh indignation, and simply give up— no, just regrouping— after he caught them. Whumper had thought they would fight some more to make it out, they were right at the end after all, or at least cower under the weight of his frustration and fury. But they did neither. Their fire wasn’t as bright as before, but it hadn’t been completely put out yet. There was still a small spark eager to grow inside them, despite the months they had spent under him.
Whumper felt a crooked smile spread across his lips as he locked the bedroom door behind him. There was still a lot of fun left to have with Whumpee.
#whumblr#whump#possessive whumper#intimate whumper#obsessive whumper#my writing#W#☡#this is unedited kinda writing from my phone notes#so like when i dont want to use as much battery and dont have internet or am bored#i just write these on my phone notes and when i deem them kinda done ill transfer them to docs and here#so its way less edited than my usual stuff#so it aint that great#there might be more of these#defiant whumpee#whumper#whumpee#whumper x whumpee#villain x hero#i was bored tired and somewhat distracted while writing this hence why its kinda cringe but whatever
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so many problems with hinata's character could've been solved if she was a root sleeper agent
#naruto#naruto shippuden#hyuuga hinata#no but listen. LISTEN#i already think it's bs that kumo tried to steal the byakugan it makes no sense on any level for them to do that#it makes even less sense for them to try to do that by just sending some guy into the house where EVERYONE CAN SEE THROUGH WALLS#it makes even less sense than THAT for them to play the victim when the guy inevitably got killed#UNLESS no one in kumo ever gave him that order bc he was a root plant like kabuto used to be#and kumo thought konoha was looking for an excuse to start shit but make it look like their fault#anyway#hinata's year group includes four future clan heads two back-up heirs and konoha's jinchuuriki (also sakura)#hinata doesn't question things EVER. not whether team eight should kill fellow konoha nin not her own backstory nothing#SO#order of occurrences:#hyuuga elders deem hinata a weak heir ->#hinata is 'kidnapped' by 'kumo' ->#hinata requires routine psych evals to deal with the trauma ->#it's kept quiet bc the clan doesn't want to look weak ->#the evals are held with fuu or another root member from the yamanaka clan ->#what it actually is is a constant stream of conditioning appointments that double as mission reports ->#hinata is entirely in the dark about this and is entirely unaware of the catastrophic effects it's having on her psyche ->#hinata works for root (again entirely without realizing) from ages 3 to 16 ->#danzou and fuu both die when sasuke attacks the gokage summit ->#hinata's ''therapy appointments'' suddenly stop and she's told it's bc she no longer needs them ->#the last order hinata ever got was during the pain invasion when she was told to interfere in the naruto vs pain fight ->#the intention of this was to both remove her from the playing field and piss off naruto into killing pain ->#hinata never talked to naruto about her confession bc she doesn't really remember it ->#she's aware that something happened due to the things the people around her have said but she's been taught to not ask questions ->#hinata goes into the war without having the ''die for naruto'' command de-programmed from her fucked-up little head ->#hinata tries to die for naruto again and neji dies instead ->
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dash is corruption love if you’re just doing what’s best for your daughters . asking for a friend
#thinking abt papa geto & miminana again 😔#thinking abt the scene where he gently pats their heads and tells them to watch closely before brutally slaughtering a man on stage#thinking abt the fact that they call him geto-sama even though he doesn’t demand it from his family in the slightest#(considering larue is out here calling him sugu-chan lmao)#thinking abt the vague implications that they saw him less as a father and more of a God . even though he saw them as daughters.#is corruption love if you just want what’s best for the people you’re corrupting#is corruption love if you love your daughters more than anything else in the world#if you just want them to survive in a world you’ve deemed as predatory#i think geto thinks so.#i wonder if he ever feels guilty though.#ari noises ✩
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some of you never grew up in a small conservative town as a (gay) nerd that was bullied, harassed, and excluded for years on end for not fitting in and for visibly and enthusiastically liking geek things—geek things that then branded you a satanist in everyone's eyes and as something Other, Lesser, and Undoubtedly Unworthy of Basic Human Decency even though you were literally just an actual child with harmless interests and not a satanist or an evil disgusting subhuman thing, and it shows.
you cannot apply modern views and beliefs to a show that is set in the eighties, especially not when it's set in conservative midwest eighties which is a whole other beast. being a socially awkward and nonconforming geek is something that people STILL get bullied for if you don't do it in a way that the majority deems "acceptable", especially if you live in a conservative, religious area.
your experiences are not universal and your inability to relate to a certain motif or story does not make it "lesser" or "bad writing."
#stranger things#mike wheeler#<- tagging and then disappearing into the mist again bc i don't like it here lol.#girls when they love stranger things because they finally see characters just like them with the same exact experiences written with such#care and respect for those that have been Deemed Other but people who have not had those experiences refuse to believe that they're#realistic and STILL happen to people bc if they're fortunate to have not gone through that then clearly that means that it doesn't exist#and if it does then it's not Traumatic Enough or a good enough plot to cause such inner turmoil in the characters who experience that#💥🛼#i got bullied for being a nerd in the 2000s and 2010s. you can absolutely get bullied for being a nerd and being a nerd is enough reason#for social exile in some places. when dustin said that no one was nice to him or mike? when lucas said that girls laughed at them? and it's#all because they're deemed freaks and satanists for liking fantasy things? that's Real and it doesn't hurt any less just because you think#it's not a good enough reason to bully someone.#i was called a satanist to my face by adults. people acted like i was some Creature or whatever just because i liked fiction and wasn't#interested in what the majority was interested in and wore dark clothing sometimes. like.. hello. school shooter jokes? the way#that neurodivergent people get treated when they're visibly ''different'' and enjoy things passionately? the way that liking star wars was#a thing to ridicule until it suddenly became Acceptable and Popular to like? i feel like i'm living in a different reality than so many#people here with the way that they talk about certain things in this show. and don't even get me started on the way people approached#the angela and el situation....#maybe just be glad that these things did not happen to you and stop acting like it's lesser or a bad story bc of that? just a thought.
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Kaeya most definitely tried to rehearse the first thing he would say to Diluc when he'd heard the man was back in Monstadt. Only to have spat out the most silver-tongued, sickly saccharine yet bitingly snarky little remark bc he happened to panic upon seeing the man and immediately knew just how bad he fucked that up by the utter look on Diluc's face.
#hc; kaeya#//Rewatching things and oh my GOD I forgot how funny Luci tryna say his first hi to Charlie in awhile was kjdfgfg#//But yeah. Like what the FUCK do you say when parting was Less Than Pleasant & it's been FAR too long since your last actual convo?#//Kae wouldn't even have been able to lower his guard; just defaulted RIGHT to the facade that's served him well all these years#//That's hidden his fears and nerves so well otherwise; only for it to get the exact OPPOSITE of a reaction than what he wanted#//Meanwhile Luc's been slapped right in the face with what he; having last known Kae as shy and anxious; deems as the fakest fucken#shit he's ever seen; and perhaps the coldest look he's ever gotten from Kae. The very palpable DISTANCE his facade puts between them#//And at first impression feels such ANGER; thinking this must be another deception he's hitting him with#//As if their last words exchanged in person weren't hurtful enough; now THIS?#//He might realize it is just a means for Kae to keep his guard/distance after thinking it over; but in the moment?#//He prolly Loathed having to hear/deal with him; with THAT after every memory he'd kept of him is suddenly shattered under this New Kaeya#//THEN it turns into stewing guilt over how Kae must have had to step up & make such changes in his absence out of Necessity#//Esp the more he learns abt what's gone down in Mond in his absence; be it via Jean or what his little network of ppl has found#//That he will probably never again see the Kaeya he once knew back then ever again. Assuming he even remained in Kae at all#//Which is why seeing mere Glimpses of it is so IMPORTANT to him; why he feels such RELIEF; even knowing he prolly shouldn't#//he's not the same man he once was either; not entirely; but that doesn't mean it wouldn't Hurt to realize it; either way. Like a harsh#bitter sting; not unlike the strike of frostbite he felt that fateful day and confrontation#hc; diluc#//Welp; there we go kjdfbg
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initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.
#i have been possessed by my fourteen year old self.#except now i am *way* less ashamed of my interests#<- oh wow when you're in a place where all your interests that are unique to you are shamed constantly you stop enjoying them#there were so many things i hoarded as ''just mine'' because i was scared that they'd be stolen from me in one way or another#because either it'd be co-opted and i'd have to confirm to their view of said interest. or i'd be shamed and belittled for enjoying it#there are so many little things now (even wider than like. media interests. like literal aspects of myself) that feel wrong to share becaus#the only way to keep it safe was to keep it close to my chest#there are a few names i'd love to go by but as soon as i think about actually telling someone it i feel like i might#(and sometimes do) have a panic attack about it#which is stupid!!! the people around me now love me!!!! and i love them!!!!!#all that to say. being able to post about armand and dm is kind of like. a rebellion i guess#tvc and specifically armand were so important to me because back then i kind of saw myself in him? v. jaded and disconnected with the world#and seeking someone to bring them forward and into a new space to try and reinvent themself#and wanting someone to love them hard enough that it encompassed everything#i wanted to be what daniel was to armand and what armand was to daniel#<- very healthy way to think about the world and relationships btw <3 i was so normal and fine and this was not a sign something was wrong#god this turned into a bit of a vent thing huh.#i'm not like. feeling big feelings i should clarify. i feel like i'm examining them from a distance and taking notes like a scientist lol#it's a thing of like. knowing how unhealthy everything was and acknowledging that i'm healing. slowly; sure. but i am healing#i got to play a game one of them had tainted last week. it was hard and fun and i had big feelings when i was playing#because it was a little triggering. but i did it. i managed. i felt better for it.#i told my partner about one of my favourite bands back in 2021 and now they listen to them too and that's a little bit of joy#because it was one of the things that was deemed ''bad'' and that i can share that with someone now and feel safe to love it is good#and being able to be as obsessive and hyperfixated as i am right now without it being unsafe is really really lovely#and it is making me lean into it! i can engage with this without guilt! i want to fuck that old man!#it's silly and difficult and big and great and awful and complicated. but it's allowed to be. i'm allowed to be.
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Beginners guide to my Jackie and Olivia universe thoughts except the handwriting might be kinda unreadable so idk figure it out
#keese draws#oxygen not included#olivia broussard#jackie stern#also to be clear everything I have for the rabbit and raccoon universes is completely pulled out of my ass lol#I just wanted to play around with the idea of every universe in oni having the same results despite wild differences#in canon they’re both probably near identical outside of what critters olivia works with#but I find it fun imagining those moments in the logs as the moments that come closest to converging#three olivias who are all wildly different but despite it all still end up in a lab feeding their favorite critters in near perfect sync#three separate jackies with varying amounts of respect for olivia each deciding to rid of olivia’s critters#three separate pairs each holding near identical conversations through text that even then could have varried wildly in tone if heard#two women who have a strained relationship two women who don’t realize how bad things are between them and two women who are on the offense#anyways rabbit universe is my favorite of the other two to think abt because god it’s so fun imagining jackie slowly realize that olivia#may have slowly but surely become like super dangerous to both herself and others and that it was initially to support her but now it’s#gotten Way out of hand and jackie doesn’t know how to try to bring it up because she has things that she deems more important to do#and anytime she does try to push her away from the work she’s been doing to focus on other things she at best does it in secret#the problem with people who consider themselves righteous is that they can become incredibly dangerous if they aren’t#now jackie sort of considers herself righteous but I don’t think that’s her primary motivation in scientific advancement#she is far more motivated by the thrill of progress and as such operates less on is what I’m doing right and more how do I most effectively#get this done and as such she’s incredibly strict and shitty to people and is more than willing to cut corners that she rly shouldn’t#the thrill of progress also appeals to olivia deeply but she generally sees herself as a moral person#which even in canon leads to olivia coming off as kind of hypocritical as anything that doesn’t make her actively uncomfortable doesn’t rly#seem to register to her as a problem#her morals are kind of dictated by her personal comforts and as such an olivia who is comfortable with doing questionable experiments is an#olivia who doesn’t see them as questionable at all#now I do imagine rabbit universe olivia is generally nicer to employees than jackie is#but mostly in the sense that she gives them proper breaks and lets them do fun activities and such#she is still mostly invested in optimization she just knows that rested employees are productive employees unlike jackie#like if someone has a breakdown over the work they’re forced to do she’ll send them home early but she will expect them to get back to it#so she’s not actually like. that good to the ppl working under her. she’s just not as bad as jackie
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I MISSED BUG. BEING CORRECT ABOUT WHEATLEY..???? WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL.
#HES NOT SHY!!!!! AWKWARDNESS DOES NOT EQUAL SHYNESS!!!!!!!!#BITCH NEVER SHUTS UP HE JUST DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO CARRY HIMSELF IN CONVERSATIONS AND JUST OVER EXPLAINS SHIT#I AM SO SICK OF SHY LITTLE GUY WHEATLEY HES A MILDLY NERVOUS SHITHEAD WHO GETS CAUGHT ON THESE STUPID ASS LITTLE DETAILS#AND WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM UNTIL HES DOES TALKING OR SOMEONE TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP!#can i Also just say i Hate like. stupidly Tall skin And bones blonde White guy Wheatley#just For a moment.#its A shit design i dont. Why does it. ugh#also Proud wheatley isnt The intelligence dampening Sphere fan#ok. ok ill Be normal now.#but Yeah not only has he Shown the capacity to Come up with Actually decent ideas but Also glados is The smartest thing in Aperture.#and she is So disconnected from the Attributes that can make Someone human (empathy Curiosity Morality etc etc) because Of not only the#events of Portal 1 but Also because of The chassis chamber (glados vs PotatOS. shes Still snarky but is Actually more willing to Be#reasonable blah Blah blah) that when Faced with an Entity that DOES have those Traits#she immediately Deems them as less Intelligent regardless of How smart they Actually are#now this is NOT to Say she cannot feel those emotions#but After losing the Cores attached to Her shes become very Disconnected from Those emotions and Appears uncaring And cold because of it#she Appears more like A machine than A person#and Theres a lot of Character quirks in Wheatley that make him Much more human-like Than machine (even in Chassis!!)#i Could also go On a rant about Why chassiswheatley Becoming suddenly Evil actually Makes sense according to A scientific study but#i Dont think you guys wanna hear That#nor Do you wanna hear my Machiavellian Bach analysis and How its so thematically Correct with the Story while still being true To wheatley#SORRY ILL BE.SANE NOW.
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incredibly interesting how “leftists” on the internet decided that, now that autism is cool and trendy, making fuck of schizophrenic people is 100% completely fine and in fact, the new go to group of people to insult
#y’all fucking hate disabled people!!!!#if you have ever said ‘schizoposting’ i hate you!!!!!!#fr like please die!!! you have less worth to me than any schizophrenic person with any off the wall beliefs. i am so serious. yes including#schizophrenic people who have been exploited and lied to by the fascist alt right#we are forgetting that these people are victims who can’t easily distinguish fact from fiction and reality from delusion#we should be beheading those who make up these dumb ass conspiracies and helping the mentally i’ll but half of y’all don’t even actually#even actually care about any of ts and instead wish to beat on people the world has deemed deserving of it#like we could be doxxing billionaires and instead you are bullying the disabled on the internet#because those millionaires took advantage of the symptoms of said disability to make them complacent in their own and other oppression#how do you guys not see the issue here#excuse typos i am not fixing this lmao
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payoff of being embedded in a unit of authoritarianism since birth is sure then being able to go like "wow this is just like dynamics & phenomena i experienced up close & personal, repeatedly, in many contexts & configurations in my first two decades of life" plus also beyond that in abuse culture world & the noncoincidence that even interactions beyond the confines of the home(tm) reinforced / did not contradict the hierarchy & concomitant abuse within....but then like hey yeah also the Larger Units of hierarchy & abuse / authoritarianism (ft. their logics & practices necessary for continuously & continually shoring up that hierarchy) can also make it like hey yeah the Two Parent abusive nuclear family more like the Two Party [the US is also a one party state but in typical american extravagance they have two] where right wingness is defined by the degree of directly embracing white supremacy & "left wing" is "anything else" hence like wow The Left is always infighting (everyone with any ideas besides "umm christofascist white ethnostate?" so like yeah there are many other ideas) vs The Right's admirable cohesion (simply re: the white supremacy idea which also necessarily embraces all other Out Group / Nonperson paradigms & practices b/c that's what all already has been necessary for shoring up the [when has the US been a nongenocidal non white supremacist non oligarchy])
like obviously individual experiences & contexts vary but like narrowing in on [the Family as immediate relations ideally cordoned off into nuclear households] ft. [Parental Authority the top priority of which is preserving that authority, ideally patriarchal, an abusive mother e.g.? hey, that ought to be the father] times it's like, think people tend to struggle re: having the "nicer" / "safer" parent who was also shitted on as well but also at the end of the day would always side with the "meaner" "more dangerous" parent, even in whatever terms most sympathetic to the abused parties, with the underlying logic that we're always just going to have to deal with them so some secret strategic mitigation is the best that can be done, perhaps the equivalent of being sent a ":(" after an Onslaught Of Expressed / Enforced Authority(tm) event....the tendency to see the best in any lack of actual intervention / protection on the assumption That Could Never Happen Anyway & forever At Least that the one parent isn't as bad as the other [the Not That Bad / Could've Been Worse infocation, like free bingo square in manifestations of minimization if not outright abuse denial] & all the sympathy for, you know, being human & doing their best(tm) &c which sure might all be true but the abused parties (oft children, more vulnerable than adults, by virtue of being children i.e. considered legal property of some specific adults & theoretical property of any adults in general (the paternal logic in any "protect [xyz]" like maintain one group's supposed ownership / control over [xyz] "for their sake" then? great) & also generally smaller & newer at being alive in this world) but who are liable to not extend that sympathy to themselves (or certainly not be extended that sympathy....when is "they're doing their best / they're only human / they mean well or whatever / they love you, they're family" successfully deployed the Thwart an abusive parent like it is to tell an abused child to not be too resentful of this situation, when is it actually deployed toward the abusive parent at all really. & again in the lack of boundary between the authoritarianism within many individual family households & that of the state they exist in (here re: the US) like that naturally one encounters the logic of abuse expressed just as "common knowledge" & the Assumptions of other people, e.g. the rejection of a parent having zero access to a child, the reinforcement of automatic apologia deployed for whatever a parent could possibly do, argued for "family", yet not deployed the same way to automatically defend anything thee child(tm) could do, thinking emoji lol....see: like the non boundary between [the Patriarchal home/family(tm)] & capitalism when uh oh capitalism the system of continuously maximizing exploitation Needs various forms of labor to be unpaid, uh oh another lack of boundary when white supremacy is used to also shore up the patriarchy that shores up the white supremacy, e.g. that even if in some "inferior" class it's treated as More Important that at least you're not that And black, the theoretical ideal/normal white man is a person while a white woman is a woman while a black woman is black, white women could have any legal property via chattel slavery which needed white women's participation to help enforce, the specter of sexual violence all coming from nonwhite & especially black men & it's up to the genteel white man to Protect Women (see prev, implicitly white or you'd have to specify otherwise)
anyway that is to get around to pointing to the Two Parent System wherein so shockingly the results are the same as the One Parent System re: abuse maintaining The Family (properly, i.e. unquestionable & certainly undeniable parental access to children, & "ideally" ofc again the patriarchal Father as ultimate authority w/ownership over the Mother, who in turn is theoretically honored for that motherhood (at least you own your children, insofar as it doesn't contradict w/what the father wants to do with his superior claim to ownership) & then finally all the obviously shittiness from being in that position in a patriarchy is in turn dumped on The Children who are ungrateful & owe the mother everything Because of what the broader society & immediate personal expressions of that abuse have done to her. see also ofc that two adults likely don't have the resources to raise a child in time or money or energy, maybe there's only one but also even an extended family's worth of adults aren't enough, is it enough when a child is sent to school for some other adults to be in charge most of the day, or even if someone is hired to look after them beyond that, all this ofc with the assumed premise that a child is always limited to the various Domains of The Adults In Charge, & from there i segue into how naturally being in gay baby jail unless & until adults are no longer recognized as Legally In Charge Of You (the grand like 5 minutes it's relatively been since the ideal timeline of a woman's life wasn't being legal property of her father until asap passed along to legal property of her husband. still considered ideal ofc but like with "maybe you can have a bank account" now & "maybe you can become 29 before you're in Old Maid danger" Maybe, i said, Maybe....anyway that obviously adults(tm) being divided up (atomised. spritz) into Households isn't even supposed to be enough to live on their own, re: necessitating Marriage, much less uh oh having kids who are stuck with their parents who are stuck with them, but then all the obvious actual problems & abuses inflicted on Adults to have to have their family households & exploited jobs are dumped on the children who Must appreciate & be loyal to the parents (i.e. never Deny Access) while yknow kids have Fake Problems they're whining about, the one Real Problem of having to pay a bill gets the payoff of leverage to tell your children to shut the fuck up or perhaps the more vulnerable spouse
hm didn't segue right into "so shoutout to like The Ratchet Effect diagrams lol, the "Two" Party System where its supposed left wing Blocks Movement To The Left, right wing Moves Everything To The Right" but even that is like, mm, conferring a passivity to what democrats do in the continual movement to the right (won an election? lost an election? the lesson either way is The Right Is Right; exact same logic as in "winning or losing" "the war on crime" like the collection & analysis of whatever statistics show the trend of some "crime" is increasing in frequency or magnitude? show that it's decreasing? the lesson either way is Cops Need More Power) like the institutional effort of democrats to push a candidate nobody wants through primaries (did we even do that this time around. oh great that the assumed candidate even graciously agreed to not force themself as The Candidate, & now like 5 min left with the Next In Line candidate dumped on everyone now with the lesson for the left(tm) to shut up already lol) & then it's up to Grassroots Voters. it's up to Unity & well we all Need to listen to the white supremacists, points were made, in the "elections" with voting as limited as possible & with the electoral college & supreme court as Safeguards against democracy & here's the senate, eternally thus, & again the conclusions will always manage to be moving To The Right, paraphrasing from twitter like democrats are about to be or already at the point of "in the name of unity we will no longer be running against republicans; it's too divisive :(" which yknow is already The Statements of all of yesterday from various like "i'm the republican official white supremacy agree-er now" after also the entire campaign of "no, I'm the fascist" where like wow shocking that the appeal to the fascists didn't win a) the fascists who will ofc want the even more overt fascism, why wouldn't they or b) the people who want antifascism actually, and do not want fascism; who could have foreseen? & it's always the fault of being Too Antifascist for the actions of the fascists or the Diplomatic Comprimises the other party makes with the fascists &/or their Failure to thwart them....the Nicer, Safer party in power is surely doing their best & at least they're not the Meaner, More Dangerous one but at the end of the day they'll always side with that party over america(tm) & those bearing the brunt of the actions of State Power can be told to keep their chin up or else to stop acting out b/c how do you expect that state power to respond, cmon, you bring it upon yourself, & you Have to work with them & understand all their feelings & your role in resolving those feelings by being lesser inferior property, you do Have to understand, b/c in the end this is All About Family, surely Good & Necessary, whoops i mean in the end this is All About America
anyway yeah i'm like damn my "nicer" (also shitty) father who was also the even more sexist & racist (& certainly no Less ableist, queerphobic) parent was basically the democratic party of the Two Parent System of Family Government lol. b/c we Need to perpetuate this Family, no other logics much less actions are acceptable....& people struggling with the Parent / Adults in their life like that who were the "safe" & "protective" ones who markedly failed to protect & minimized the harm afterwards but also in general, never to confront the reality of the situation, or do damage control like "aw some points were made at all :( ah i see you have Feelings about this :( hmm yes the Parental Power is gonna have to make some changes" & then as soon as possible (assuming reeling in the party who was deviating too much) these changes(tm) are already compromised or diminished if done at all, & then oops things incrementally might be right back to how they always were, no guarantees it won't be Worse b/c the Power is even more insecure / aware of weaknesses, & the only way this is thwarted is if the Wayward Parties can actually leverage new boundaries / less vulnerability, not b/c the supposedly sympathetic parties, who never came through where it counts & likely would also become overt antagonizers / wielders of whatever power within the Family hierarchy / turn on the more vulnerable parties to Get Them In Line, actually came through. movement Away (more disruptive to the maintenance of The Family, The State) is blocked, incrementally only ever moving everything back, & then Further....& despite this being what the power structures are, & do, the Disruptive parties liable to be scapegoated lol, can't believe the scapegoat child is ruining everything for everyone, this Family would totally improve & start being everything it could be otherwise & we ignore who actually has the power & is actually enforcing the hierarchy harming everyone to point to that scapegoat; can't believe thee left is destroying america (republican voice) can't believe the left is destroying america (democrat voice) So You See? The Undeniable Consensus. just like how i believe it was my fault my family unit was Like That & i had those experiences, according to the vast majority of Input from that family & even others who, knowing nothing, would say how Lucky i was to be relatively close to home, or just of course that oh well parents love their children & mean well & try their best. just like how i believe that being treated like i've been generally as a neurononconforming person, i.e. hated & the interpersonal abuse & bullying & ostracization & [attention possibilities: ignored, responded to but negatively, interacted with to get something from] & actually rewarding interactions or just actions being liable to get Deluxe authority responses as disruptive(tm) & ofc disobedient(tm) like hell fuckin yeah lol. just as i don't think that other people who have similar experiences or ones i don't have, i.e. assessed race being automatically seen as wrong / inferior, being isolated & undermined from all around? well gotta be their fault then, cmon lol....Abuse is actually normative, not extraordinary, in every Arena of interactions, & so are the logics / apologia / assumptions
anyway lol re: like yeah people struggling with the like betrayal of the "nooo i'm on your side, i sympathize, i'm the one who's nicer & you Need so that things aren't even worse" party, not even One Big Novel betrayal, but rather that that's what's Been done the whole time & doesn't stop. that supposedly if you have Any sympathy for that party you have to be like aw :( keep doing your thing (necessarily reining everyone in) or if you have Any sympathy for the people who also want things to improve but blame & take it out on the more disruptive parties (more disruptive to an abusive family e.g., btw. & not like i see Cohesion as necessarily some Good rather than neutral? when i'm autistic / my existence is supposedly antithetical to this? or when i'm able to look at a zillion hypothetical or actual situations & recognize how "cohesion" isn't the best goal / a destructive one / a vague concept anyways like cohesion Between Whom? on what basis? recognized & pursued how? why? up next: same as vague shit like "family" or "community" &c) then it's like yep gotta be Responsible for their feelings too if you're at all sympathetic & capitulate, The Only Possible Action, vs the idea of those in power actually making things shit stopping, much less being stopped / having to stop in the various ways that can happen....one way being "oh no, adult children who choose to be no-contact with parents" which is seen as A Tragedy, & sign of a Deteriorating Society, take me back. ah jeez oh no, look at the divorce raaates....Oh No, twentysomething women aren't pursuing marriage enoughhhh....again the undetectably identical echo when people peak vaguely talk about "conflicts" that thwart "community" or whatever, ugh nobody will date anymore, commit anymore, be friends anymore, hang out as coworkers anymore, talk to me if i want to talk to them anymore, &ccccc....
the real tl;dr is like wait ""two party"" (one party) US electoral system, just like ""two parent"" maintenance of thee family lol. ratchet effect raise your hand if you've only ever experienced Movement Away from the abusive family blocked, forever incrementally ratcheted back in to the desires & pursuits of those most in power / top of the hierarchy / thus of course most invested in the abuse, that's what the power & hierarchy is made of, sustained by, perpetuates....sorry doing our best :( sorry that's just all that's realistic, no other choice Really. cmon. kind of Your Fault if you don't agree to that & whoops now Everything is the fault of whoever doesn't agree & cooperate enough :( now look what you've done & brought upon yourself :( & we'll just forget the eruption of violence suppression happened & will happen again & be the overhanging threat all in the meantime
#aaand post whoops it's Politics; Abuse text blocks again. you know how it is#the [it's the same thing] resonance of Thee US State things & ppl's responses like what is this. my family (sitcom laugh track)#which then yes i do see the Differences first & foremost lol. going Hmm Antiauthoritarian Lens On News / Politics well before even#doing so re: my own family situation experiences which i was thinking of as normal (they were though) & not that bad (but it was)#indeed ''the home'' as a supposed site of Safety; relative restraint in the intrusion of State Power on such a domain#with being nonwhite & poor liable to make the home(tm) unavailable; less ''safe'' if so; less surveilled or intruded upon by the state#all wherein Money; Patriarchy; Parental Authority is meant to exert its own Control aka ''protect'' vulnerable parties a Home may contain#(that's a not necessarily neutral ''contain'' there lol) e.g. ah [true crime montage] women are Safe & Protected in The Home#as are Children as are Disabled People. oh no we have to be Necessarily Suspicious of what allows ppl to venture outside the home#rather than seeing that as neutral or perhaps even good when the Ideal Home Structure is as a force & site of isolation#oh god no not The Internet intruding into The Home (allowing people outside it. e.g. children. cough Aah Protect Them from Social Mediaaa)#stranger danger satanic panic true crime(tm) serial killer(tm) the scary nonwhite disabled poor Intruders of ideal suburbia etc....#tangent there. & if you aren't contained in a home / your home is not so Safe from state agents? well#just as pointing out [not in prison] as merely Lower Security that you will be moved to higher security (such as prison) over Violations#i.e. failure to be Properly Contained....uh oh out in public Unchaperoned; not spending money properly?? being nonwhite?#disabled? poor? That's Not Allowed; an appeal to some Personal authority (guardian; husband) might be made; might be seized by the state#to higher ''security'' b/c Lower isn't deemed containing you enough at Job & Home & not being too deviant & poor or intruding in the Domain#of those who are less so; incl even their illusion of power like umm i should never have to See a poor#might be executed with the automatic defense of the Necessity Of State Agent Killings & every last noble & sympathetic Feeling behind it#whether spontaneously as extrajudicial police killings or judicial preplanned state execution or the acceptance & embrace of deaths in the#context of the continuous exploitation & extra / exacerbated vulnerability for created & enforced social classes#& that every site of greater ''security'' is like; you must move toward Marriage; Nuclear Family; Normativity#your own ''proper'' exploitation in w/e structures like Family; Business; A ''Good'' ''Community''; A ''Good'' ''Nation''#or else For Your Own Good / The Good Of Others / You Bring It Upon Yourself like eh imprisonment? other exclusion / ostracization#while subject to the forces that get to respond to that realm of abjection. parallel abuse tactics of a prison vs perhaps a house/family#even more meandering tags here lol but much to discuss....certainly granted a relative fast track / front row seat via like#relatively ''normative'' life in various ways; white US sorta middle class; but personal autodidactic experiences as disabled queer#happening to be abused within the home (also plenty of Even More ''not that bad'' logics / practices even from Good Parents(tm)...Uh. lol)#no Experiences inherently guarantee w/e conclusions or principles but sure put mine to an antiauthoritarian context; boo hiss#& learned shit. stunned like wow yeah what's Disruptive to the norm is scapegoated? you stop ppl pleasing; ppl are displeased? whoah....
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I think it should be absolutely mandatory that people work at least a month in a blue collar job and take time to learn about their coworkers before making a statement about blue collar work. I simply think it would fix so many things.
#melon rambles#my father (who makes over 100k a year in his comfy computer job where he can work from home and honestly doesn't even do that much technica#stuff and works less than 40 hours a week) talked about the horrible overtime requirements of the factory I work at#as 'well that's what you get. You just take that job for a bit until a better job comes around'#and it's like. This IS the 'better job' for most people I work with!#Like we live in a small town with maybe 30 companies total that anyone could work at#one of my friends has lived in this town for over a decade and almost exhausted his job options here#because there's only one company in this area that could use his degree but they said he doesn't have enough experience so they refuse to#hire him. Meanwhile he's got a family and bills to pay so he picks up a customer service job and guess what? It sucks#He's worked like at least 10 jobs here and about half of them have had such deep issues (horrible labor law violations. Incompetent manager#who yell at people and cut hours willy billy. Safety issues. You name it)#and now he's trying to find a 'better job' but all of the jobs he can get are bad. And the only good job refuses him for a stupid reason#and that's how it is for a lot of people! Some of my coworkers are 60-70 year olds who can't retire#they've been working blue collar jobs their entire lives and this factory was the most bearable one with good enough pay#it drives me crazy that my father thinks anyone can just somehow work their way up to a job they enjoy#when a lot of people just never get that perfect opportunity#and it also infuriates me how companies can decide to just screw over workers with something like mandated 50+ hour work weeks#and some people can't leave because it's the only job they can get that pays enough to feed their kids#and tangentially related point: blue collar workers are the absolute backbone of society#where would we be without janitors? Construction workers? Factory people? Anything customer service? Maintenence or repair people?#they literally run everything but get treated like absolute crap by companies or looked down upon#it just aaaaaaghhhhhhhggggghhhhhhh#I wish we lived in a world where manual labor jobs were just another career path you could choose of many#and they were deemed respectable honored jobs by everyone#and they were given good pay and good management and working conditions#because honestly from the jobs I've worked. I've actually enjoyed the job itself to some degree#but there were just so many bad management things that made me just dread going in every day.
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I've been reading some stuff on punitive justice, and it made something click for me that I've observed a lot online but haven't been able to put into words before.
When someone does something wrong, that's bad, and the damage it does needs to be repaired while the person needs to try to do better in future to minimize repeating harm. We learn it in preschool - say sorry, don't do it again. If they keep at it, remove them from the situation where they can do the harm until they prove they're responsible enough to go back in.
So if it turns out someone DIDN'T do anything wrong, that should be a relief! There's no damage to fix, no internal errors to correct. Less work for everybody, literally no harm done. False alarm, all good.
The thing I've observed is, lots of people want them to have done something wrong. There's almost disappointment when it turns out there's no harm done. And I think that's because of this general undercurrent of punitive justice as morally righteous and desirable: someone does something wrong, you get to punish them. Turns out they're innocent? That's disappointing. Find another reason you get to punish them, or find another bad person you get to punish. But at the core of it is that desire to punish someone. Someone you can hurt in a way that makes you a better person for hurting them.
This particular brand of almost cannibalistic pseudo-justice is super common in tumblr, one of the most ostensibly liberal spaces on the internet; I see more borderline savagery in online discourse here than in the actually toxic parts of the internet that are just openly cruel for cruelty's sake. It's always thrown me for a loop, and has frankly also hurt me, because on the rare occasions I get personally dogpiled, it only actually stings when it makes me worry that I've legitimately hurt someone. If I did something wrong, or more realistically when I inevitably do something wrong, that would make it good and right for people to give me shit about it every day until I'm dead.
The thing that clicked for me most recently was this bit in Ijeoma Oluo's Be A Revolution:
Punitive justice is specifically, uniquely appealing to people who have suffered injustices. Of course it's the Tumblr zeitgeist. Everyone here is a marginalized person failed by at least one system. Punishing someone for perceived injustice is how someone the system has deemed worthless proves their value in blood, even if the person being punished hasn't harmed you directly - even if they haven't harmed anyone. "Righteous" anger isn't about the target in these cases, it's about the inflicter. This is how much my pain is worth.
And that kind of violent validation is so alluring and so very dangerous. It seeks an outlet, wearing the justification of justice. Who's in reach? Who's an acceptable target this week? What's a good reason to use?
Is there anything they could do that would make me stop?
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im making this post for @wafans-blog because she is trying to reach the goal of 80k by sunday august 18 in order to evacuate her sister and brothers families who are trapped in gaza. wafa went to egypt before the war for medical treatment and has been separated from her family since and is extremely worried about them.
throughout my life ive read so many historical stories about jewish refugees from nazi germany where peoples families were separated and never saw each other again despite searching for years after the war, people who were deported to their deaths a day before they were planning to escape, people who acquired the right papers just after it became useless for them anyways, people whos lives depended on the whims of strangers, border guards, officials, workers, passerbys- on whether they would choose to help someone or do nothing. the actual difference between life and death made into completely arbitrary decisions that are out of the control of those suffering, for the most part. this is the type of existential situation that is created when a people are targeted for destruction, like in the genocidal war israel is waging on gaza right now. i cant help but think about everything ive been told about history since i was young when i see what is happening in gaza today. i dont want that to happen to anyone else.
wafa told me earlier today that the situation now is gaza is getting worse and worse for her family members. the other day they were forced to evacuate at 1am and sleep on the street, leaving behind everything they had in their tents because of another idf bombing on areas previously deemed "safe." they have a young infant, salem, with them who was born during the war and has only been exposed to suffering and devastation. salem is sick right now and theres very little access to medicine or any of the resources that a newborn baby needs. its really urgent that they raise enough money to register them for evacuation so they can join wafa in egypt when the border opens soon, god willing.
out of so many arbitrary decisions that life is reduced to under the conditions of a genocide, one of the less arbitrary ones is that anyone on here, especially those in the west who likely have a higher income in a stronger currency than non-westerners, could help someone today escape death.
i really implore people to donate. especially if you have a degree of disposable income or economic security– consider your life circumstances and how much you can actually afford to give to help save something that really can not be monetarily quantified, which is human life. please donate to this campaign and help reach its goal. if you cant donate, share this with someone who can.
$65,035 raised of $80,000
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