#and d.) i never half-ass a tragedy

[ahamkara-apologist]

Hmm hmm debating making Crow's fear-infatuation with Aeris into a genuine short-term crush post-SOTH that Aeris knows about and is uncomfortable with, not only bc it would be a very good harsh lesson for himself given the fact that he is Not In A Good Place right after he escaped but also bc Aeris himself doesn't have enough problems so I gotta slap him with the aroace axe of 'I wish I could be this for you but I cannot' as well as 'I don't know if it's because I can't feel as other's do and I worry if there's fundamentally something wrong with me' autistic aro experience on top of it. Crow grows out of it eventually ofc and in the long run Aeris as YW can't exactly linger on himself for long but it would be an interesting take to spin on the whole concept since Crow/YW pairings are so common in fandom (for good reason)

[starfirewildheart]

Chapter 18

Summary: Sy and his lady both retire from the army but not before tragedy befalls Sy. He slowly tries to adjust to life again on their ranch.

Pairing: Sy / OFC

Word count: 2,353

Rating: mentions of war; being a POW, death and animal abuse. Nothing graphic I promise but if the fic continues (if y'all like it) I'll add warnings for each chapter.

Chapter 18

Deb yawned and stretched, smiling as the soft blanket slid down over her naked body. She took stock in herself noticing the knee brace had been reattached and her body ached in all the right places but she was alone. “Sy?” She called out.

August heard Debbie's soft voice call out and rushed to check on her. “Hey.” He bit back the smirk that was itching to spread across his face as she blushed and covered her pert breasts with the blanket. “Sy and Geralt went on a couple errands. Do you need anything?”

She bit her lip. “Did he say how long he'd be gone?”

“I figure about an hour, hour and a half.” He noticed her squirming. “I can help you if you need something. “

“I..I need to use the bathroom please.” Her face flamed all the way to the tips of her ears.

“Ah, no problem.” He walked to her side of the bed and started to reach for her and she squeaked.

“No, wait! I need some clothes. In the dresser, on the left side are some sleep pants and on the right are some of Sy's t-shirts.”

August gathered the requested clothes and took them to her. He smirked when she looked at the sleep shorts he handed her. They were very short. “Easier to get over your cast darlin. Want me to help?”

“No! Just wait outside the door please?”

Just before he pulled the door closed he looked back over his shoulder. “No standing on that leg, young lady or you're in trouble.” He chuckled when her jaw dropped. 

After cleaning up in the bathroom, August carried her to the kitchen and sat her on the island countertop and handed her a glass of juice and some pills.

“What are these?”

“Anti-inflammatory, muscle relaxer, and antibiotic.” He pointed to each one as he listed them. She tossed them back with a sip of the juice. “Good girl,” 

Deb blushed and grinned shyly at the praise. August picked her up again and instead of carrying her with her legs, well good leg around his waist and his arms under her bottom like Sy, he carried her on his hip like a toddler. 

He settled them on the sofa with her bad leg across his lap and flipped the t.v on finding a show for them to watch. 

“So is there a girl somewhere waiting on you?” She arched her brow at him.

“Personal much?”

“Very, but you dressed me in booty shorts so it's fair,” She smirked.

He sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. “I'm sure there is one, somewhere but I'm never in one place long enough to form attachments.“ She was shocked at his honest answer instead of his usual smart-assed avoidance when the conversation turned to him. It was a common theme with all the guys in the unit. They all traveled so much that they didn't have anywhere to call home after leaving the military. “Don't give me that look, princess,” he shook his head at her.

“There's no look,” She held up her hands in a universal surrender pose. 

“Attachments are weaknesses and weaknesses get people killed.”

“Do you really believe that?” 

“Yes,” his voice was adamant. 

“And you think people who have them are weak,” She added.

“Yes.” 

She nodded and chewed at her bottom lip. “That's why you didn't like me. You see me as a weakness for Sy. You think I make him vulnerable.” They were all statements, not questions. When he didn't respond she knew she was right. “All of you look up to and respect Geralt like he's the father or big brother you never had. He doesn't see love as a weakness.”

“It's different with Sy. Geralt really does act like a father to him and he wants Sy to be happy.”

“He wants you all to be happy,” She countered. “Why do I make Sy weak?”

He moved her leg and stood. “We aren't having this conversation.”

“I'm being serious. I need to know,” She pressed. “I love him and I don't want him to make a mistake.”

August turned to her, eyebrow arched. “Even if you're the mistake?”

“Yes,” She answered without hesitation. “I want to protect him as much as you do.”

“So you can do something stupid like run away? I get the blame and suddenly you're back together? I'm smarter than that girl.”

“I wouldn't run. Sy made me promise him after our very first disagreement that I wouldn't run until we talked out our problem.”

“Not a person to stick around when things get tough?” He leaned his shoulder against the bookshelf with his arms crossed over his chest looking down at her.

She squirmed under his judgmental glare but decided it was only fair to get asked tough questions if you were going to ask them of someone else. “No, I mean, not the way you think anyway. I've never thought I'm good enough for Austin. Always felt like he deserved so much better than me. He disagreed then and still does. When we first got serious I promised myself that I would tell him everything, every dark, dirty little secret and he would see for himself and leave me but  h… he didn't. He told me that I blamed myself for…” She stopped. “The story isn't important but he made me promise to never try to push him away again and not to run because he would chase me to the end of the world if he had to and I believe he would.”

“Sy's on a ranch now. He's out of the game so it's different.” He tried to brush it off. They both looked at the front door when they heard Aika barking.

The door opened and the furry missile darted through the room and leapt onto the couch covering Deb in kisses. Soon enough there were squeals and giggles of laughter.  “Mercy! Mercy,” Deb gasped between licks from the wet tongue of Aika.

“Akia, heel,” Sy gruffed in a commanding tone. Akia instantly went to him standing against his leg. “Good girl, yea such a good girl,” he praised giving her love and scratches. He moves over to the sofa and sits down next Deb giving her a kiss of her own. “You feeling ok?”

She nodded, “August helped me in here cause I was tired of being alone in there.”

“You were resting so well I didn't want to wake you but it's payday for the hands,” he explained. 

“Did you bring me the books?” She asked, preparing to work on the payroll.

“Amy stopped by earlier and brought all the paychecks. She's been keeping the books since you were in the hospital,” Sy explained. “She jumped in so we could keep the horses fed and cared for and I could focus on you.”

“Oh, that was really nice of her. I'm sorry she had to do that but I'm all better now. I can go back to work.” All three men turned and looked at her like she'd grown a second head. “What? I am. Well I can,” She pouted and crossed her arms.

Sy kissed the top of her head and snuggled her close. “Uh-huh, that's adorable. You're getting better but no, you aren't well yet and if you even think about trying to work you won't be able to sit or stand,” he grinned, squeezing her ass for emphasis. His blood rushed south when she looked up at him with big eyes through her lashes. He cleared his throat trying to distract himself from how bad he wanted to take her right there.  “Bet Auggie picked out these little shorts, huh?”

Geralt's bark of laughter echoed from the kitchen and August’s ears turned red as he sat several cans of soda on the coffee table. “I , she told me to get them!”

“Sleep pants!” She corrected. “And Sy's shirt.”

Geralt came back from the kitchen with paper plates, pizza and breadsticks putting them all on the coffee table. “It's OK little one we all know August is an ass man. He's been trying to get a look at you in tight pants since he got here,” he winked at her before grabbing some pizza and sitting down in a chair on the right side of the sofa.

They all laughed and Deb secretly winked at Sy. “I need,” She leaned over Sy's lap stretching to reach the end table lifting her bum up a little bit. She collapsed in a fit of giggles when Sy lifted the t-shirt up showing off her butt.

August growled as he flopped down in a chair at the opposite end of the couch with his food. “Fuckin teases, all of ya “ he huffed but couldn't  hide his smirk. 

 They all ate their pizza while they joked and laughed,  even watched a couple of movies before August left to go to Walt’s. Napoleon had a job to do for a few days so August was going to take his shifts with Mike until he returned. They cleaned up their messes and all turned in for the night. 

~~~~~~♡~~~~~~

Will went through the house checking the doors and making sure everything is secure one final time for the night before he is off shift since August was there to take over. As he was walking toward the guest room he noticed Mike's light on and Door ajar. “Everything alright?”

Mike shrugged then grimmaced; fuckin shoulder. “Yea.”

Will stepped into the room  and sat on the end of the bed facing Mike. “You know it's OK to say no, right?”

“So people keep saying,” he had to fight not to roll his eyes. He knew they all meant well but they didn't know what he was going through. They didn't understand. “I just need all this to be over so I can figure out what's gonna happen to me.”

Will's brow furrowed. “You're gonna be ok Mike. You've got people who are willing to fight for you, to take care of you.”

“I..,” he shook his head, “I can take care of myself. I just have to get out of here to do it. Do you think they really need me to testify? I mean they have Debbie and as far as my old man goes, his dealing with the gang should be enough to convict him, right?”

“If you don't want to testify,  you don't have to. I know that no one has talked to either one of you about any of that yet. I think the hope is that there is enough evidence that it will speak for itself,” Will explained. 

“Do you think they would let me visit my dad?” Mike focused on picking some invisible lint off his jeans.

“Walt can..”

“He said he didn't think it was a good idea,” he cut in.

“Did he say why?”

He shrugged again and growled out “fuck” grabbing his shoulder. “He doesn't think it's good for me. I guess he thinks I can't handle it.”

Will thought about his response for a moment.  “I've only known Walt since the rescue so I won't say he's out of line. I'm sure he means well but I think you need to talk to Sy and Debbie.”

“No, I don't want to bother them. They have enough to deal with.”

“Kid, you know they just got home today right?” 

Mike nodded. “I'm glad she's finally healed enough to go home.”

“They called as soon as they found out she was being released. You know that right?” Mike shook his head. “They told us to get you packed up so we can bring you home to them tomorrow.”

“I..I don't think that's a good idea. I should stay here.”

“Why wouldn't..”

“I'm pretty tired. Think I'm gonna try to sleep now,” he cut him off.

Will sighed and nodded. “Good night.” He headed out to talk to August.

~~~~~~♡~~~~~~

Sy jumped when Geralt stepped up beside him. “Slipping wolf?” the white haired man chuckled.

“Apparently so,” he finished fixing the coffee pot for the next morning. 

“Security company will be here tomorrow at ten to start the security camera install. They've been checked out and approved of course.”

“I can't thank you enough, all of you…”

“Stop. You don't thank family, Syverson.” Sy smiled and nodded, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the counter. Geralt mirrored him, leaning against the island. “You ok pup? Do not lie to me,” he warned. 

“It's better since we've been home. It helps when everything is familiar and having Aika.” She hadn't left Sy's side at all. “I'm sorry you've had to deal with my bullshit. I just didn't want to dump it on Deb with everything else.”

“PTSD isn't bullshit,” he scolded. “Besides, they haven't been full episodes, just the oncoming panic. You..” 

They both jolted and ran to the master bedroom aa Debbie's screams echo through the house, Akia even running and growling. All three burst into the bedroom. Sy turned the light on and went straight to Debbie while Geralt and Aika searched for foul play. “Hey, hey, shhhhhhh,” Sy soothed as he woke her from what was obviously a nightmare. She flailed her arms, fighting an invisible attacker until her panicked eyes slowly opened and locked onto Sy.  “Hey, there's my girl,” he kissed her head and hugged her and could feel her body trembling as she clung to him. He repositioned them so they were laying on their sides facing each other, Deb curled against him. “I've got you baby.”

“T..they were t..t..touching me again.” Her voice was nearly a whisper. “try hurt you again,” he promised.  “I know that doesn't change what they've already done but it's over now.” 

Gearlt and Aika came back from doing a perimeter check. He walked up to the bed. “Everything's secure. Need anything?” He asked Sy.

“Try something?” He asked and Geralt inclined his head. “Lay down behind her?”

“I don't know if..” Geralt started but Debbie turned over and grabbed his hand before he could retreat. Those sweet blue eyes locked with his and it was like she could see into his soul and he couldn’t deny her anything. Kicking off his boots he climbed in behind her.

She snuggled between the two huge bodies and slowly started to calm down when they were all pounced and she was covered in wet doggie kisses. “Aika!” She chuckled as she scratched her ears. Once Aika was sure her human was OK she laid dowcryn on all their legs. Deb's shaking eased up and she turned so that she could see them both as her eyes got heavy .  “Safe,” She said, yawning as her eyes slid closed.

Tag List

@shellyshellshell

@enchantedbytomandhenry

@mrsevans90

@summersong69

@mollymal

@warriormirkwood

@bloodyinspiredme

@kneelforloki

@liecastillo

@mollymal

[hargrove-mayfields]

Disabled Billy and Steve Week

Day 3- special interests

My prompt: Harringrove- Shared Special Interest

-•-•-•-

One month. Billy and Steve have been living together for one month.

In that time they’ve discovered a lot about each other, things they never expected. Things like Steve hanging his jackets and sweaters in rainbow order in the closet, or Billy placing the cups in diagonal lines in the cabinet.

Only one thing had caused a disagreement, and that was about furniture covers. Billy’s ocd wanted them to avoid touching “sofa stank ass,” but Steve’s autism hated the texture of sitting on fabric on top of fabric.

Their solution was two separate chairs instead of one couch. Close enough to hold hands constantly, but separate enough to enforce their individual boundaries. Sure, it means cuddles are limited to their bed, but Billy’s on bedrest with full body aches and bouts of fibro fog usually once a week, so it works.

However, by far the most exciting tidbit they’d discovered was that they share a special interest. Games.

Video games, board games, sports- they’ve both explored the history, researched the best strategies, and played thousands upon thousands of games. DND had brought them together through mutual friendship with Eddie, while Super Mario kept their relationship on its toes.

Tonight, their choice was a little unconventional for them, a big dusty box fished from the very back of the closet. An inherited, smoke stained edition of Scrabble. If either of them and their dyslexia had realized that making a goal to play every game in the house would mean playing a spelling game, they might not have made that promise.

But, Steve already was dead set on doing it, and his dedication was not to be messed with. They were going to play that game, no matter how long it took.

Currently almost two hours and half a bag of letter chips in, it’s Steve’s turn again.

“Uhhh, I’ll spell… sunset! S-U-N.. S-E-T.”

Every chip is placed carefully, and they both double check it with the help of their Scrabble approved dictionary. At first, he’d placed them in the wrong spot, connected to a D instead of the S on the end that he meant to use, but they fixed it quickly instead of dwelling on the mistake. Billy knows Steve might cry of embarrassment if they keep the focus on his mistake for too long.

But now it’s time for Billy to have yet another go, as Steve reminds him in case he forgot again, “Your turn, Bubs! Got anything good?”

“Honestly? I have no ideas. These letters suck.” Billy grumbles, pushing the small tray that holds the letter chips away.

“You can look it up.” Steve suggests, the only way they ever agreed to go along with this game being shortcuts and technical cheats.

But Billy shakes his head, in deep concentration, “No. No, I wanna do it on my own.”

Steve gives an encouraging smile, “Take your time. I’m watching the TV over your shoulder.”

Something about the way Billy snorts says he doesn’t see that as encouragement, but instead sounds hurt, “I’m that boring, huh?”

Regretting the way he’d put it so bluntly, Steve makes sure to promise kindly, “Nope! I just like the game shows!”

It’s true too. He likes learning new words in a way that doesn’t make his brain feel like it’s on fire. And watching other people fail and struggle, even the best of the best, makes him feel a lot better about playing mostly two or three lettered words in this here game of Scrabble.

Billy’s shoulders relax with ease, satisfied that Steve isn’t annoyed with him. He does, however, quip sarcastically, “We’re so old.”

“Thirty isn’t old.” Steve hums, actually happy to be growing older instead of being trapped in the misery of his teens forever.

Growing up meant growing out of his intense self-deprecation, after leaving behind all the pain and the tragedy he’d gone through. Now in California, playing board games with the love of his life, nothing else matters.

Billy clarifies his meaning, showing to Steve that he feels the same way, and was just using an expression, “I’m not talking about literally, baby. And stop rounding up, I’m only 26.”

It’s lighthearted and they both smile, but something keeps nagging in Steve’s head. One of those old fears of his rising up despite his insistence that they don’t bother him anymore.

“We can do young people stuff.” He offers, sounding kind of upset though he doesn’t mean to let it show, “I mean, I just thought this was fun...”

Even though they’ve got a game set up, Billy leans over the small table on his elbows, and holds Steve’s hands, “Stevie. It’s great. I love these slow days with you. They make me happier than anything. I was just kidding.”

Instant relief floods Steve’s nervously twisted stomach, but just in case he asks, “You’re sure? ‘Cause we can do something else.”

It’s his fault they’re doing this. He said it would be okay. Fun even. He said they can do anything they want.

“I want to keep playing.” Billy promises, and then a real pleased look crosses his face, “I just thought of a word even.”

“What is it?” Steve brightens up immediately, leaning forward in interest.

Billy uses an ‘O’ chip already on the board to spell- “Love.”

Picking up from the look on Billy’s face, it’s not a coincidence that he’s taken to flirting through a board game. Steve blushes like they haven’t already been together for eight years. These slow times between them can be relaxing, but they’re usually days where they check in on their romance too. Rekindling the passion over a goddamn spelling game, that should, by all means, have caused Steve to panic ages ago.

It’s sweet, and it only gets better.

An adjacent ‘S’ in line with Billy’s ‘O’ and an ‘M’ further down the board makes it so Steve can spell the biggest word he’s ever played in this game, “Oh! I can use that to spell Soulmate!!”

“You got that right. I’m yours, and you’re mine.” Billy says all suavely. Steve’s literally giggling and kicking his feet, only to be shown once again through the next move just how much of a romantic Billy is.

“Matter of fact, I can use that new M to spell- Marry.”

For a moment, Steve just stares.

He’s not sure if it’s genuine or just a strategy, until Billy produces a tiny box from his pocket. It’s wooden, looks hand carved. Inside is a ring with a small ruby in a heart shape attached to a band, one he recognizes as being Billy’s mothers.

“Billy-“ He chokes. The words he’d been doing so good at freeze up. He’s used his brain so much today and now it’s failing him?

Billy is patient though, leaving the box propped open on the table so he doesn’t have to hold it and lock his wrist up, “Stevie.”

Steve swallows down his nerves as best he can, and starts to ask, “Are you..?”

“I am.” Billy finishes for him, so Steve doesn’t get too frustrated. It’s then that he starts to look nervous too. He chews his lip, a stim Steve recognizes as being an anxious one. Like he’s done something wrong by asking for something so big, “Do you want to?”

But this, this couldn’t be more perfect. A proposal through their shared special interest, a lifelong passion channeled into their love. Of course Steve wants that too. Really, he’s wanted it ever since they were teenagers, but now that they’re in their twenties, they’re finally ready for that dream to become a reality.

“Yes! Of course I’ll marry you!”

~~~~~~

For todays disability organization spotlight, let’s talk about the National Fibromyalgia Association.

The NFA is a site which provides health information and resources about Fibromyalgia, a condition that is under researched and often disregarded by medical professionals as not even existing.

The information on their site ranges from self care guides, science explaining chronic pain, COVID precautions for our disorder, medication and treatment suggestions, and emotional assistance for fibromyalgia patients, among other things.

Run by doctors and fibromyalgia patients alike, the websites main goal is to spread awareness and make research accessible for everyone. When I finally received my diagnosis, I spent a lot of time here learning about little things I could do for myself to manage my symptoms. Now I use mobility aids and am in physical therapy, and my symptoms are much more managed than before.

Because fibromyalgia is such a disregarded disability, so are our foundations. The NFA is currently asking for donations, either direct monetary donations or through buying their merchandise in the online shop.

If you would like to learn more about this organization or access their information guides, you can click here to visit the site.

[therobotmonster]

Why the Murder-Bear Restaurant Keeps Re-Opening

A speculative Fic.

"Are you concussed?"

Rich looked up from his laptop. "Not that I'm aware."

"Forty-five million!" Stan huffed. "I go to a conference for one weekend and you invest us forty-five million into a murdered kid restaurant!!?"

"No, I sank forty-five million into THE murdered kid restaurant."

"That is not the point and you know it. To pay out the company has to exist. Half the locations are very famously burned to the ground."

"It's called venture capital not the sure thing express." Rich was smirking the way he did when he was going to be unbearably right. "Only this time it might well be the latter."

"What do you mean? It's a D-list nostalgia brand at best, without the murders and kidnappings and ghosts that are probably gas leaks driving night watchmen to acts of arson."

"No, you've got it all wrong. It's not a restaurant and its not an IP brand. Those are the loss leaders." Rich turned the laptop around. On the screen was a diagram of a robotic skeleton inside a vague mascot-character shape. "It's the most advanced robotics research lab in the United States, and all of it directed to one goal."

"Ooo! I know this one!" Now it was Stan's turn to be smug. "Pulverizing little Billy and Suzie between hydraulic jaws! No, wait, don't tell me-"

"Very mat-"

"-brand new innovations in reducing the size of the workforce. Literally. By having them compacted by a jukebox that has grown-ass-man-crushing-strength for some reason."

"That's the point. Why give the robot band the ability to walk around? Why make them strong enough to do more than lift a prop guitar?"

"Man's hubris?"

"No. I've looked over the patents, the whole sales document bundle... they were beta testing having them work as wait staff. They could recognize and converse with customers, heck, if these documents are even mostly exaggerated they were halfway to getting them to cook the damn pizza."

"Robot labor." Stan whispered. The whole picture came into focus. "Beta tested in the most chaotic, emotionally tumultuous environment possible, with the least cooperative customer base imaginable."

"If the dancing bear can handle a six year old's birthday party, it can handle the returns desk at the Lady Foot Locker. Exactly." Rich forced a solemn expression on his face. "While the alleged tragedies around the company are crushing-"

"Phrasing"

"-saddening. It would be an even greater tragedy if that work resumed with someone other than us reaping the rewards." Rich's smile returned. "Thus my executive decision."

"If we get haunted, I'm blaming you."

--

"What do you mean the ghosts are real?"

"Yeah, of all the bullshit in the papers, that part tracks. Go figure."

"Rich, you know what I mean."

"Alright, well, apparently the previous owners' idea of a coverup was to blab everything and let the ridiculous story debunk itself." Rich was looking over reams of blueprints. Old fashioned, drawn-on-paper blueprints for machines more advanced than MIT's best efforts. "And part of the story that was true was the ghosts."

"How-" Stan paused, pushing down the first phrasing that came to mind. "-do you even know that?"

"Well, we had the tech boys build a copy of one of the robots. Same firmware, same materials, better workmanship. But the performance was never there. Beat up vintage version responds more naturally, can navigate better, is stronger."

"What, some kind of learning algowhatis?"

"No. We went through the whole inventory from all the surviving locations. Most of the robots are 'low performers', even ones that were in use longer than the ones we have here."

"Do not tell me those are the murderbots."

Stan gave a mock-sheepish shrug.

"How are they not in an evidence locker someplace?!"

"I can only assume incompetence or graft." Stan replied. "But the majority, but not all, of the robots that are high performers are from those locations."

"So your theory is that they're what, possessed?"

"Haunted, possessed, what's the difference. We know what the missing piece is."

"You son of a bitch."

"What?"

"That's why you insisted we build the new prototype store on the ruins of the old one. You didn't just build it on top of the world's only haunted murder-robot graveyard, you did it on purpose!"

"The old man didn't just invent the most advanced robot this side of Star Wars, he may have made the world's only functioning ghost trap." Stan wasn't joking. His smile wasn't the normal sarcastic one he wore day in and day out. It was a hungry smile. "So yes, for the sake of ROI, I put our new animatronic manufacturing facility and demo store on top of a valuable natural resource."

"Dead people."

"We're only 30% certain its actual souls and not some kind of psychic imprint or ectoplasmic residue."

"You made those terms up."

"Maybe, who can say? Regardless. We know our robots are missing a part, that part appears to be a ghost, whatever that means. We pack the place to the gills with robots, keep using the pure-AI versions for now, and if any units get suddenly competent we retrace its steps to find out when the blue fairy does her thing."

"And then what? We harvest the souls of the dead and make them work at the mall?"

"Hey, idle souls crush night watchmen like juice boxes. It's way better if they've got gainful employment rather than just, wandering around murdering people."

"Gainful employment? We're going to pay the robots?"

"Oh no, I mean gainful for us. And the best part, is we're the only ones who will know the secret sauce. Let our patents expire, everyone else's robots will be glorified speak-and-spells."

"While ours will be animated by grandpa's wayward essence?"

"Hey, if he didn't want to work at the Panda Express he should have gone to heaven."

[raeofalbion]

Fic Ask Meme:

Because it’s one of my go to favs: Shatter Albion Series.

Is there any scene that you cut from the main story that you wish you could go back to add? (Or alternatively, tell us about a cut scene that you wish you could have included)

( meme ) -- Thank you! :D <3 And thank you for reading! <3 I'm so glad you like the series.

Y'know, it's funny, cuz this is exactly why I rewrote MoI back in...my goodness, was it 2016? (Surely not that long ago??) There were just so many scenes that needed elaborating and missing bits that needed to be added and it felt necessary to do that before continuing on with the series.

But yes! There are still some I cut and either would like to add back in or might repurpose for later. (Sorry, this is long.)

From MoI:

The first time Victoria and Reaver sleep together. I've tried to write this so many times and it just...doesn't ever work out the way I'm picturing it. There's like...half a dozen-ish cut drafts in a document somewhere. Maybe one day I'll make it work.

The original, hand-written draft of MoI included a scene with Logan questioning Ben after Victoria disappears from Reaver's house, suspicious about why his sister's suddenly not writing him. In the end, it was cut cuz it didn't really make sense to have him go to Ben to find out if Victoria had somehow contacted him, but I still kinda like the idea.

Continuing along the Victoria-running-away track: there's a couple little outlines somewhere for a follow up to the scene where she decides to leave, showing how she got out of Reaver's house. One of them involved her actually shooting Reaver with his own gun; the other involved Reaver essentially stalking her through the house, not interacting or trying to stop her but watching her all the while. In the end, I couldn't make up my mind and I felt like nothing I wrote there would be 100% satisfying to readers, so I chose to scrap both ideas. Not sure if that was the right decision, tbh.

There was a scene before the wedding with Walter and Jasper playing cards in the original draft. Tonally, it didn't work, but I still like it.

There was a scene where Reaver sort of...playfully faux-crowned Victoria in the castle? He's being an ass and very sarcastic about it, and Victoria hates the entire thing, but it was supposed to lead to them having semi-public sex. ...which is also the reason it got cut. What smut I'd written was just...not good. And I never really had the will (no pun intended) to rewrite it, so I scrapped it.

An early on scene where Reaver and Victoria get into a proper row after she walks in on him with one of his...uh...friends. I actually had to check and make sure I didn't add this one back in and I'm not sure why I didn't. Reaver yelling at her about them "pretending to play house" and about how he was never going to choose Victoria above his own interests would've been very 👀👀👀 given how things turn out.

Not something I actually cut, but, if I were to do another rewrite, I'd like to add some more Logan scenes, just for the tragedy angle.

From DoV:

Cut one of the mystery dreams (well, I guess now that we're near the end of Blackout I can just say it: one of the dreams she shares with Scythe, where he's trying to contact her) cuz it was too repetitive.

A couple tiny (very tiny!) scenes with Faraday. Just chatting with him. In hindsight, they were unnecessary to cut.

I've talked about this one before, but the original scene where Victoria and Reaver talk about their relationship was cut and rewritten. Originally, Reaver was going to confess his feelings for her there. But it didn't fee organic and didn't really work and it kinda just pissed off Victoria worse. So instead the scene is -gestures to the story- but the line about the singing fish is as close to confessing as Reaver can get himself at that point.

From Blackout:

Technically the entire first draft was cut because my pc ate it, so I'm sure there's a lot of things on there I would like to add back in. T-T

Cut some flashbacks with the Crawler just for length, nothing really plot relevant, though. (I may come to regret this.)

Also cut some really stupid jokes of Reaver's. (I do not regret this.)

Cut a lot of political stuff that will affect the next story, and I...have begun to suspect this will come to bite me in the ass because a couple things were much more relevant than I thought they'd be. :S SO. I don't know what I'll do about that yet.

The next chapter has a rather large chunk from it that was cut and is in the process of being rewritten. Basically: Reaver and Victoria being horny now that they're reunited. It doesn't fit, tonally or pacing-wise, but I am a little sad y'all won't get to read Scythe interrupting them and Reaver complaining under his breath about not getting off. Maybe I'll turn it into a oneshot.

+ Bonus!

Technically there's an entire story I've cut from Shattered Albion (set between DoV and Blackout) about Reaver and Faraday investigating one of the DLCs together. I would really like to add it, cuz I think it would set up some things for the final book and I think it's fun, but I'm not sure if anyone actually would want to read it.

[greyias]

Still poking my way very slowly through Act 1 of BG3 with my half-elf pally girl, Aravyn, and just had the best series of quests/encounters that hit me a little in the feels.

So, long long ago, when WotC was starting to play test 5e, I started to attend some D&D Encounter sessions at a local comic/game shop, where we'd use some random pre-rolled character sheets to play. And I got handed the following:

This randomized Paladin who, for some reason, was also a wandering minstrel. I got to play her for all of one session, and unfortunately never was able to attend any more sessions (for reasons). Yet this yodeling Paladin has lived rent-free in my head for years, but had never found a group to play with in the years following.

So when I realized that I might be able to bring a version of her to life in BG3, I leapt on the chance and gave her the Entertainer background, and despaired a little that I couldn't multiclass her into Bard in Explorer Mode (although there is a mod for that).

I found a lute on the beach, played it very badly in camp and got yelled at by Lae'zel for it. And then, I wandered a little bit outside of the Druid's camp, to find a Tiefling bard singing so badly a bunch of squirrels were wailing with despair.

Having failed so spectacularly in serenading the camp, it would have been smart for poor Aravyn to just talk her way through this encounter. But here she was, being offered a lute and a chance to inspire someone with music.

And she knocked it out of the park -- being gifted the lute of the bard's deceased lover mentor as thanks for helping her break out of writer's block. (I mean, I get it. I feel that pain Alfira)

Mood™

Right afterwards, because I refuse to take a long rest while still full up on spell slots, I kept the party exploring, and encountered the harpy ambush at the beach. And we died. A lot. Especially in a frontal assault. So finally as a last ditch effort before having to put off saving the tiny child being lured in as a harpy snack for a better leveled party, I just had Aravyn sneak up behind and yeet herself from the harpy nest straight at the beasty ladies on the rock where they were hiding.

As you do.

Anyway, Shadowheart joined her, because what else should a healer do but leap into the fray and harm's way? (there was no way this was going to work, so what did I have to lose but my pride, I told myself) And as both holy ladies started swinging away wildly while the warlock and wizard looked on from above, I found myself wishing I really had some levels in bard in order to use countersong* to nullify the crooning harpy below slowly luring a little tiefling child to his doom.

After exhausting all actions and bonus actions, and since I had Lihala's lute already equipped with nothing else to do in between rounds I was like "...fuck it, we rock", and started blasting a song.

My Paladin, apparently, while fighting a bunch of harpies.

And I don't know if it was just a quirk of the dice rolls, but it worked. On his next round, the tiefling child immediately was able to break free of the song, which was the first time that had happened in all five tries and started running the fuck away. And I was like "...wait what?" and so after kicking ass on the next round, played again. And he was able to resist again and kept running further away while the harpies were distracted tearing the party to pieces.

No one in the party got charmed while Aravyn was playing her heart out, and by guzzling a lot of healing potions, they were able to just manage to squeak out a win. Bloodied and burning through all of their spell slots, they were victorious.

Uh, so yeah. Apparently I unintentionally recreated the end of season 4 of Stranger Things (with less tragedy!), and saved a little kid with the power of rock and roll while using the lute of slain bard. And damn, if that's not a true D&D experience I don't know what is. So I think it's safe to say that Larian has been able to somewhat recapture some of that lightning in a bottle feeling of playing a tabletop RPG in this game.

(even if that was all luck of dice rolls and playing the lute did nothing, I'm headcanoning Ari was channeling Lihala's spirit, because that's a far better story)

[ungrateful-cyborg-moved]

10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags

Basic rules: choose 10 fandoms that you are part of/support, and choose a favorite character from each of those. Then, tag ten folks!

Tagged by: @miqojak! Ty! It didn't even take me half a year to get around it this time XD

In no particular order, except for the first one ever since I'm 16. Also finding 10 fandoms is kinda hard because I'm def not that active, or even a passive participant, in so many fandoms so you'll get a glimpse of my younger self instead :'D

And long post ahead so thank you in advance if you've taken the time to go through this list!

Kanon, from Saint Seiya

Look, this is the blorbo and if you see similarities between his backstory and Kazan's, no you don't. Mentioning either him or the manga is enough to get my friends to sigh and groan as they await the inevitable gushing/rant that'll follow (which reminds me that I haven't, actually, gushed about him or ranted about the manga in quite a while now). Which is to say, I love lonely sad villains/antiheroes and if you've ever seen me mentioning the forbidden blorbo, now you know who I'm talking about.

Emet-Selch, from FFXIV

At this point I feel like I should mention that I do not stand in favor of manipulating or killing people as a form of therapy :'D

A bit more seriously though, I think he's the first character I felt so viscerally about in the game? Like I never agreed with his views but going through ShB I really hoped we'd managed to bring him to our side. My tragedy-loving ass won't complain about how ShB ended for him, mind you, but still.

Honorable mention for Thancred too, whom I feel more and more attached to as times passes, and also Y'shtola but in her case it's perhaps more the fact that she's, in terms of behavior, very much My Type.

Madi, from Black Sails

There are many great characters in that TV show and if you haven't seen it, I can only recommend it to you. But really, Madi is my favourite of the lot and definitely the inspiration for Inge if I had to pick one.

Between her cleverness, her dignity, her integrity, her charisma, her dedication to her people and her cause and her curiosity about others, what's not to love about her?

Varric Tethras, from Dragon Age 2 / DA:I

I was hesitating between Isabela and Cullen, but then I remembered the Best Companion Ever and how could I not put Hawke's most loyal friend on the list? I love him, love his loyalty, how he stays compassionate despite all he goes through, his sense of humor, his honesty... Only wish we could have romanced him in DA:I, but on the other end I like his story with Bianca so I'm not too sad about not being able to.

Byakuya Kuchiki, from Bleach

In the spirit of this dash game I'll respect the rules and make a choice, but if I'd filled this list any other day, I might have put Grimmjow there instead :'D

Anyway. I love a stubborn man with a stick up his ass and too many (conflicting) principles despite a rebellious heart who needs to be almost killed to start thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, he could have handle a Situation better.

And I love this character development past that point.

He wasn't an inspiration for Wolfe, but they're very much alike in several aspect. Byakuya is, however, a lot better at keeping a straight face.

Lois Habiba, from Torchwood S3

I haven't watched Torchwood in a long time but I remember her. In fact I remember Lois better than I remember some of the main cast.

She was just a normal young woman who had managed to get a really good job and risked everything to do the right thing and idk. She was just a really solid character that deserved better recognition.

Dean Winchester. Do I need to say from where?

Look, I loved all five seasons of Supernatural. A shame they didn't add more later!

And with Dean it's a bit personal so I'm not gonna go deep in details about it, but let's just say that there's quite a bit of me that I recognized in him and I just want to give that man a hug.

Donna Noble, from Doctor Who

I'm not up to date with the new seasons/episodes so no spoilers please!

But hm, yeah. I think what I loved the most about how Russel T. Davies was directing the show was how real his everyday people turned companion felt, and while I preferred Rose when I was younger, the older I get, the more appreciation I have for Donna.

She's just so full of life and character, so brave and so unapologetic about being herself despite her self-esteem issues, but I think what I love above all else about her is how she always acted as an equal to the Doctor.

I'm gonna repeat myself but really, the older I get, the more I love her. And I really need to catch up :'D

Cain Hargreaves, from the Cain saga

Honestly I don't expect anyone to remember this manga XD It's an old one I read when I was a teenager and one of the few I kept despite not having re-read it in 10+ years. I don't remember that much from it but I do remember the ending quite well.

Anyways. Cain's a young earl with a tragic past, a strong sense of justice, more money than common sense, a love for poisons and a fear of commitment. Truly, what could go wrong with such a character?

Also:

"Have I ever failed a promise to you? - Yes, all the time." after his sister made him swear he'd come back to her alive is just perfect.

Spike, from BtVS

He's devoted, he's cruel, he's romantic, he's brave, he's pathetic, he's capable of taking responsibility for his actions... I love a multifaceted character and I've had a soft spot for Spike ever since I've watched the series for the first time.

I rewatched it not too long ago and it didn't age that well imo, or maybe I'm just more critical than I used to be, but I still think Spike is an awesome character and I love that it was in spite of Whedon's intentions for him.

---

And I believe that brings me at 10 characters for 10 fandoms! It strangely feels more like undressing in front of strangers than actually undressing in front of strangers :'D So obviously I'm gonna tag a few people to do it too:

@under-the-blood-moonlight @merlwybs-wife @voidtekarc @alannah-corvaine @ashenbun @zhauric @biff-adventurer @tea-and-conspiracy and @confusedtia! And frankly anyone else who wants to!

[nomi--sunrider]

⭐ for the fic writer's ask!

Ah, a behind the scenes for Then, Now, and Always. Let's see....

Oh I know! I'll unpack the scene that got me the most negative feedback I've ever received on anything I've written: The Duel from Chapter 25: Battle of the Goddesses.

(I haven't talked about Then, Now, and Always in like a month, so be prepared for an essay.)

I thought up the silent Tally/enraged Alder epic duel very early on in the drafting process. Literally, it's in the first, very very rough draft in my docs, which is about 15 pages long and half-summary, half- little bites of scenes.

The reason I wanted them to have The Duel is twofold:

It's genuinely the most tragic thing I could think of for two people who love(d) each other. Y'know? Like Anakin and Obi-Wan on Mustafar. Badass scene, but you're fully aware of the tragedy all the way through. It's supposed to hurt that these two women who once loved each other are now on opposite sides of a war and forced to do battle.

2. I thought it would be fucking awesome.

Part of the inspiration of Then, Now, and Always was this scene:

Tally Craven's hottest scene in the whole show imo. What was I gonna do, give her an enhanced witch baton and not let her use it to full effect? And who else was she going to fight who mattered? It had to be Alder.

Also, Alder's headbutt was dumb. You can quote me on that.

Look, if nothing else, Alder and Tally fight in the actual show. And that fight is important, it does have narrative and thematic relevance, and there is a damn good reason it happened. Unfortunately, that fight is also LAME. Seriously, it is the lamest thing ever! And not even because Tally gets her ass kicked in seconds! The scene is shot cleverly, with perspective shifts and quick camera cuts to veil the fact that the actors and stunt doubles aren't really doing that much. It's the only time we see an actual scourge battle that might have given some indication as to why it's the weapon of choice for witches and why witches make such deadly soldiers. And then it's five seconds long and nothing special.

So I wanted to write a cool fight scene for the fic. Not a spar, by the way. Sparring scenes are popular in fiction, but I personally think they're pointless (unless the author is trying to accomplish something unserious). Literally, a spar is a fake fight. A fascimile. It isn't real. I wanted to write something very, very real. And that led to a lot of the narrative wrapping around making Battle of the Goddesses possible.

Someone on Discord posted during a TNAA discussion "Oh Alder would never hurt Tally." The thing about that is a.) canonically, she can and she has, and b.) For Then, Now, and Always, that's actually not an unreasonable assertion to make. Alder is carrying one hell of a torch. Therefore, I had to make Alder angry enough to actually fight Tally with no holds barred and every intention of beating her.

And that ended up making Chapter 24: Judgment, what it is. In that same very early doc, I had this Petra line.

Literally, that's all. I had no idea where I'd put it or for what reason, but it felt important. I knew about the Ozarks twist from the start, so I knew that someone had to call out Alder for her judgment eventually. Then I realized that, since my plan when I started drafting TNAA was to fix everything, including mandatory freaking conscription of a persecuted minority group, I had the perfect, perfect opportunity to make Alder vicious enough to kill.

Tally's trying dissolve the Salem Accords. That was her endgame the whole time.

Now Alder's angry enough to fight to the death and make the duel truly epic, Tally's goal is much broader, the fic has the chance to move into deeply philosophical, big-picture territory, and I get a pair of dope-ass chapters out of it. Eight birds, one stone. I was so happy.

Zooming back out, I think part of the reason a lot of folks were upset by Battle of the Goddesses pertains to my theory that fanfiction is like ice cream. Easy to eat, requires no effort, delicious and instantly satisfying. The main romantic pairing isn't supposed to fight each other to the literal death, even if it's fucking awesome and deeply symbolic. Duels/battles/wars between two love interests are common fare in sci-fi/fantasy because of their intense thematic and narrative heft, but not in fanfic. That's serving roasted sweet potatoes and kale at an ice cream parlor. It's too much for a lot of readers.

Finally, I think a lot of readers were upset about Alder losing the fight. Here's the thing:

It's not interesting if she wins.

Just like it's not interesting if Goliath beats David or if Jamal doesn't win the jackpot in Slumdog Millionaire. It's a story. The underdog has to win against all odds by their cleverness and mettle. Yes, I too, am sad that Sarah Alder's trauma was never addressed. She's a traumatized, damaged victim of the narrative and her story is a tragedy, start to finish. I think a big draw of the Talder ship is that it allows us to protect and humanize Alder in a way the show never did. Few people want to see her be the victim of even more pain in fic.

This doesn't change the fact that General Sarah Alder is brutal, unyielding, and violent. She's a three hundred year old soldier and her entire existence is war. She is not a good person. To defang her without earning it would be OOC. Trauma doesn't make good people. Healing makes good people. And there's no indication in canon that Sarah Alder has healed in any way, shape, or form.

If you've read this all the way til the end, that's very kind of you. Thanks for letting me ramble!

Why her character arc in Then, Now, and Always really doesn't start until Arc III lmao. When Alder is on her knees, defeated and disgraced, but instead of Petra and Tally going for the kill like they did in the show, they both offer a hand to help her back up. Alder heals because she's given the chance to do so by the people around her. Because I chose to not, y'know, immediately kill her off after tearing her from her pedestal. Genuinely, I have lost so much sleep over all of the amazing, transformative character work the show had in its damn lap and chose to ignore.

[error404vnotfound]

in which i rank the whole seliriaverse

as of July 5th 2024

how to read this tier list:

books are indeed in order (which was very hard)

the symbols next to the book titles indicate whether they have gone up, down or stayed in their rank in respect of this prediction tier i made (and/or previous opinion i had of those books years ago)

i did in fact change the tiers up a bit because i had like half of this in F tier and not all bad books are made equally

kind of a long post

sueños de piedra tier

this tier is for sueños de piedra and sueños de piedra only because it's one of my favorite books of all time and it would be unfair to rank the rest with it in mind

sueños de piedra (marabilia #1)

573 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2017 / read: too many times to be counted

i've read this book like 100 times and i'll read it again. it made me cry so much but i felt so good after too. this book never fails to warm my heart <3

A tier

10/10 screaming crying throwing up i love these books

-- ladrones de libertad (marabilia #3)

638 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 4 times

i cried and that's an instant fave. i loved this book so much in the past (and i still do) but not with the same intensity and i think that's okay

-- jaulas de seda (marabilia #4)

637 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 3 times

another past fave of mine. i just love fausto and ivy so much. it did suffer from the *knowing* about reinos de cristal. they are so cute tho. if experienced on a vacuum it belongs here, if not on the tier below

B tier

10/10 too i do love these books too but not as much as the A tier ones

-- encuentros (secretos de la luna llena #2)

737 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 3 times

the drama. the angst. the mess. i love it. i did skim through the povs of characters im not too invested in (because this book is. so long man) but eirene and seaben just carried i love them so much. and chryses

↓ alianzas (secretos de la luna llena #1)

653 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 4 times

the plot of this book is very fucked up in the best way possible. eirene and seaben my beloveds (i did give it a slightly lower rating than previously but i guess that just happens sometimes)

el sol y la mentira (olympus #2)

592 pages / ya retelling-sci-fi (ish)

first time reading (2023)

my expectations for this book 🤝 what it delivered. very fun 10/10 reading experience

-- despedidas (secretos de la luna llena #3)

572 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 3 times

a good ending for the journey :] there's no eirene and seaben drama so i enjoyed it less and i do not care for the fay and svent plot. also chryses' death is mean

-- alma y los siete monstruos

228 pages / middle grade about mental health

first read 2021 / read: 2 times

such a good book. would recommend it to everyone. i did tear up a bit too

C tier

this was a pleasant reading experience :]

imperio

672 pages / ya distopia

first read 2024

started strong but then became too formulaic in a way that detracted from the experience. overall i did enjoy it. it was fun and dynamic and the characters were all interesting and fun to read. the ending did disappoint me. the thg x unwind at home

personally disliked that a couple that broke up came back together but i can get over that. i can't get over not committing to the bit tho and for that the book is just okay and not great

-- antihéroes

520 pages / ya urban fantasy

first read: 2018 / read: 2 times

what it says on the can (tier description). it's just an okay book. very easy to read too which looking around is a big ass thing on its favor. it's funny, and i love yeray. im not as attached to the rest of the cast (and i do despise alicia), but it's a fun, easy read

-- rojo y oro

446 pages / ya fantasy retelling

first read 2016 / read: 2 times

the only good thing i can say about this book is that i wasn't bored so... i feel that speaks for itself. an okay tragedy. interesting enough

D tier

what if i told you that i got bored 💀

↓ títeres de la magia (marabilia #2)

521 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 3 times

i don't care about the characters and i was very bored. can't in good conscience put it over books i've enjoyed the whole of just because i got my arthmael and lynne fix

↓ reinos de cristal (marabilia #5)

688 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2019 / read: 2 times

respectfully your honor: idgaf about 60% of the plots. also the whole fausto thing. the first time i read this i was devastated about it but now (4 years later) i can see that his death is just incredibly dumb and stupid and i hate it and it also lowkey ruins jaulas de seda. like títeres i did struggle with having it this low because lynne and arthmael are on it but even my love for them can't fix this mess

↓ el orgullo del dragón (el dragón y el unicornio #1)

562 pages / ya steampunk (ish)

first read 2019 / read: 2.5 times

what can i say except: i was very bored. technically it's an extremely well crafted and well written book and it does an excellent work of laying the groundwork for part 2. but again, it was VERY boring

E tier

these books did not achieve what they set out to do

la furia y el laberinto (olympus #3)

538 pages / ya retelling-sci-fi (ish)

first time reading (2023)

the main character was unlikable (in a bad way) and suffered from the authors being cowards and not making her unhinged. the adventures they go on are boring and overall pointless. at the top of this tier because i came up with a genius ending that made it worth the pain (the canon ending was fun too)

pétalos de papel

544 pages / new adult contemporary fantasy romance

first time reading (2024)

the Point of this book is to make you attached to the main couple so they can then pull a memory loss ending with an epilogue. needless to say, they failed the first main point. i did not buy their relationship, i did not care whether they ended up together or not, or if they did if she forgot him. it also had very dumb plot points that tried to be dramatic but sounded stupid

i did chuckle at a couple of jokes

el eco del destino (timekeeper #1)

477 pages / ya fantasy

first time reading (2024)

boring. so much yapping in the internal monologue of the characters that got repetitive real fast. all the characters felt like the same and they faced problems in the most stupid way possible (for the plot)

the world building (the point of the book) was all over the place and not great at all. it was an amalgamation of stuff with no connecting tissue tying it all together, and even the things that were connected made no fucking sense

seremos el huracán

526 pages / ya contemporary retelling (ish)

first time reading (2024)

go girl give us nothing. fail book because its mediocrity was bad. bland. didn't achieve either of the two things it should have: make the reader believe the synergy of the band members, and their romances. characters only interact on page with their love interest, which impedes them forming bonds with the rest of the group, and then this interactions are so surface level and one dimensional that you don't see why they then say they are in love with each other

it also left the grief plot completely underutilized (which was honestly just an excuse to have a cross dressing character in the boyband)

la venganza del unicornio (el dragón y el unicornio #2)

664 pages / ya steampunk (ish)

first time reading (2023)

this one did achieve what it set up to do but it did it in a way that ruined the whole ass book when it could have been a C tier, even B tier. the ending destroyed all the groundwork the first book painstakingly set. it went from a grounded, tonally serious story to something completely out of the ballpark. the tonal shift was so jarring it gave me whiplash. and for that, it's the lowest one in this tier

not a fail book because the first 400 or so pages were very enjoyable

F tier

devastating: your favorite authors published a fail book

anne sin filtros

384 pages / ya contemporary retelling (ish)

first time reading (2023)

i get so mad when thinking about this book. i could look past the poor writing but they went and ran over anne and diana's beautiful friendship to turn it into them being horny for each other and that's it and im. so tired of the allos

la flor y la muerte (olympus #1)

632 pages / ya retelling-sci-fi (ish)

first time reading (2023)

i was so bored it was insane. even if it's actually shorter than other books higher in here it felt longer. also, it's a bad book on a technical level, not for the writing style but for its structure. time skip(s) killed this book. there's also 0 chemistry in between characters (even those we have to believe are in love)

i have a whole ass rant on this on the tag

soulcial

506 pages / ya contemporary romance

first time reading (2023)

im so brave for not dnfing this book. did i skip most of the scenes? yes. didn't affect my understanding of the plot whatsoever. read like a bad hallmark movie. like. not even a fun one or one you can hate watch (read). just. bad. i dont like saying this but it's actual garbage. the plot is braindead. it's not even well written

and so we reach the end of the tierlist and the end of the reading marathon

if you read through all that thank you. hope you enjoyed my journey (and my pain) <3

[redeliminator]

*heavy sigh* I could wear this my greatest tragedy is that I had been listening to like half of the bands e&d listened to before I even learnt what columbine was. I have a kmfdm tshirt and I always make sure to wear something colorful with it and NOT wear my sunglasses at the same time, god forbid a trenchcoat, even though I accepted the fact that I will never beat the tcc allegations, too many things about me scream tcc even when they're not true lmao

mfs had a solid taste in music and I hate them for that, like what do you mean "americana" by the offspring is forever tainted for me and I will never listen to it the same way I did when I was 15 because it played on some random ass home video involving a school shooter

what do you mean atari teenage riot is tainted too, a random fucking techno band my friend randomly saw in concert 11 years ago and thought it'd be funny to check how much of hardcore screeching noises I can take but then it turned out atr actually kinda slapped and I loved it

it's tough out here man

front & back

[unproduciblesmackdown]

hmm here’s me talking about su sort of lmao like i said i’m not here to be particularly scentamentle?? just say funney stories....and some opinions.....it’s really been a hot minute and i haven’t been making Long text posts about things so i can throw one out there even if it’s got no thesis statement

also like i said i just so happened to like, actually watch the first ep on actual tv when it actually premiered....all i super remember knowing about it beforehand was like “oh rebecca sugar getting her own series right on” and i was gonna check it out on that alone and then also i remember before it debuted there was an article about it in the wapo in the sort of “local”-ish section b/c it was like. hey this is based in uh yknow the dmv....delmarva area.....this whole Region.....and i (from nova and in nova at that time, and flipping thru the print wapo every day) was like haha. neat. also god damn it was 2013, hell of a year. i can tell you little about it b/c it was so crappy i just like did not bother much with things like “distinct memories” lmfao. great to have like, a weekly thing towards the end of that hot mess (november??? or smthing??) back when....god........it aired weekly.........anyways yeah i was pleasantly surprised from the start i don’t Get when people are like “can’t watch this in order :/ the first few eps don’t sell it well” like okay speak for yourself god dman....more on that later i’m sure lmfao. hot takes

my brother started watching it too just cuz he’s game for shit that way and i was keeping up with it. like i remember i thought cheeseburger backpack was extra fun and i think i showed him a rerun and i remember he thought it was funny lol the Raft Gag......and when i was watching tiger millionaire i kept For Real Laughing and he came over like what is going on.....and i think he was signed on from there........again pretty fun for it to be this weekly thing. also maybe i’m not here to be Sentamental but i was also like “oh no that Spoke to my feelings unexpected :(” during tiger millionaire when amethyst was all “you can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage” and “i only feel how i wanna feel” like guess who was in the early stages of “my self esteem is so crappy it’s starting to circle around into [trying to increase self esteem]”.........like i said hell of a time. though then that’d be 2014 by then i think?? still a hell of a time

started to get “i think i will draw the same character one million times” about it at some point in 2014 too lmfao......every instance of [me drawing the same shit one million times], which is the only way i ever draw anything, then like, benefits whatever i draw later cuz like. sure get some practice out of it. and even though like, it wasn’t quite as huge an Internet Thing as it was gonna get once i started to draw shit, it was already like, classic-me Kinda Niche to be like “hey gang who is going ham about the bored dumbass teens”....not so niche that there weren’t other people going “yeah i am” at any given time tho. and then we put our hands in the middle and go Yeah!! and jump up hsm style. it was also a great time for something Fun and (easier than marble hornets lol) to draw b/c. it simply was a good time for it.....struggling to draw shit back then even more than is like, usual. oh and also i forget but i had sort of Withdrawn from the mh fanbase b/c it got this whole influx of randos after fjsfdking the Video Game we all know the one and i was like. i am gonna.....sidle over here. nobody Likes to be in a fandom actually lmfao. and i mean even while su was getting to be A Whole Thing i was like. bro i am over here in the Donuts section and it is a little quieter and i use the tag sometimes but i’m all set, thanks. still the least Niche niche i’ve been in probably lmfao....see: the fact that probably still way most of my followers are here from su times even tho idk who’s even active still

also had a high time making some great Long Text Posts. i kind of always fail 2 grasp that even as much as my drawings that stuff leads to me actually getting to interact with people, b/c like, those text posts have me actually saying Words in them, which helps lmfao..........i think it’s like, these posts are probably Not That Fun for most people, but then for the people who Are like “oh sweet this is something that i actually want,” that’s obviously a helpful way to find a kindred spirit lmao.....like hey cool you already know i can’t shut up and am opinionated and obviously a lil much? fantastic let’s do this. plus idk it’s fun to Not Shut Up Actually. like, not the biggest deal. ppl can just Scroll Past. or not

speaking of “getting practice Not Shutting Up and Drawing Shit”.......hilarious when in late 2018 i find myself like. oh so you’re telling me this excellent character who is a self-sabotaging struggling-to-know-how-to-cope-with-shit-and-connect-with-others insecure af Teen is not appreciated / ignored / deemed Awful (and then ignored) by the majority of the fanbase?????? hahaha you don’t say....but No Problem. let me just talk about how this person has Complexity actually and is a lot more sympathetic than not and i hate all of you omg like do we have to do all of this ourselves lmfao........guess so, Fine

what am i talking about funny stories who is this funny to lmfao. okay no but okayyy what an experience when the island adventure preview came out and for like the next 4 days i did not experience depression lmao........i Jumped on the opportunity b/c it was like, early fall i wanna say??? i think sept?? 2014 and i was kinda mulling over going to gmx (which was this convention the Marble Hornets gang kept getting invited to & i’d been 2 twice b4 but missed the previous yr coz it was 2013 and i was way not thriving) and yeah jumped on the “depression / (as much) anxiety who???” superpower to Ask if it was cool if i went to a friend’s wedding in georgia for a weekend. there was no friend’s wedding in georgia. and then i went to gmx AND. ironically (not really im sure. idk what irony means and idc) gmx weekend ended up being the same weekend island adventure actually aired and when i left that morning (gmx being in nashville) my lil bro (getting up for school) was like GO GO and i actually made it in time to catch it in the hotel room but. they didn’t have the channel despite it being listed on the channel guide. i about flipped lmfao but i did see it later that weekend and flipped again. gmx was an a-okay time as well lmao that was the last time i made it

they may have never sold a licensed Lars S1 Green/Purple Snake Tee but look when i have this green racerback with a neat snake print & this necklace of purple quartz crystals and also when i was at gmx i bought this necklace with one (non purple, non actual crystals but plastic shaped like it / glossed) pendant In The Spirit Of It All and it gets compliments. anyways the point is. indirectly representing

speaking of crystals = lars i’d just like to reiterate that i’m always right. like sure i was like “look i don’t know how lars could have Crystal Magic in him but something is up with the fact he’s = pink magic flowers with crystals inside them Means Something.” i think it’s reasonable to Not have predicted he dies and gets revived w/ crystal magic that’s in him now. but that’s still a Win for realizing somethings up....tfw as early as like s2 times i’d be like “well the donuts gotta get involved in the center of adventure at Some point and also i Know it is important that steven is just lars’s rly annoying little brother and y/n do you think lars would die to protect him i think he would...” like. i didn’t wanna be That right :/

tfw me and my brother were watching rose’s scabbard while my mom was napping it out in the armchair and like silently Sharing A Look at the whole “she was beautiful” thing like. lol harold

i still don’t know how much of a Thing(tm) magfest is but as far as i can figure it it’s No Comic Con (like, thank god :| ) but still kind of a thing. anyways i learned of it cuz i saw there was gonna be a couple su panel thingies & i looked it up & we were less than an hour away and so it was like midnight but i ask my brother like hey wanna swing by this thing on this one friday. and he was like Sure. so i made it happen and he was 17 so we had to drag our dad to the bank to Notarize a form that he was allowed to be there accompanied by me. it was a big place and it also took us a while to find Registration or whatever and when we tried getting sandwiches later it cost like $7 each go figure. anyways but we were just there for the one Event & there was a room like filled with arcade games and a bunch of other consoles (also Retro though. like old computers n stuff) and they had Galaga, thank fucking god. we 2 playered that shit and wandered around and also 2 playered a game called toobin, which was funny. real gamers know. 

when we were in the (pretty long) Line to get into the Panel, i actually like. spotted a then-mutual who i (was pretty sure i) recognized from her occasional selfie lol and who i guess had travelled all the way from the west coast for the weekend. when we were actually Seated she happened to be a couple rows back and both of us on the end of the aisle and i asked my brother if he could read her nametag (to verify lol) and i bopped over to have the cringe and fail exchange of “hey do you have a Tumblr” and then i was like “haha i’m milo i’m ummmwine” and she got up to hug me and then i had to scamper back to my seat cuz shit was starting lol

like my life was not changed by this event but we had fun and. the Hilarious story is that it was also partially a Q&A and i had a Q and my brother encouraged me by again whispering “go go” as soon as the first syllable was spoken implying Line up For Questions.....i was in like, the last idk, haaalf dozen or so ppl who made it to the mic? and look i knew i was gonna be asking a niche question that like 3 other people of the hundreds in the room would care about but So What. deal with it gang, let’s have some Variety. but i was still nervous. and when i’m nervous, i a) Have A Script and b) get even chattier. and right after the person Right In Front Of Me got their answer, i guess it was noticed that it was getting down to the wire so they were like “haha okay lightning round :)” and i was like NO.......GOD..........lmfao like too late im sorry i Can’t make it lightning round. i was muy anxious.....just that, again, hundreds of people there, i have the floor, nobody’s gonna Like my quastion......and they didn’t know the answer (which i figured was v possible lol) so i was like oh no sklfjd hope this entire room doesn’t hate me. i mean of course i didn’t care if they did too much but, Nerves....also im valid, but were the like half dozen people who asked prior to me about shit that would CLEARLY be too spoilery to answer valid????? no lmfao. cmon. that’s what’s Really cringe

well here we ffw a bit b/c Mid To Late 2015 is certainly a time for me and it doesn’t really make for an interesting story so just to tldr it lmao like, got some beautiful moral support from someone as i was makin a Lifestyle Change lol and continued to get beautiful moral support from that same person and i continue to benefit from it....You know who you are!!!! tyvvm....and it occurred to me that the reason i am where i physically am is via someone i met thru su-posting.......which is true of the You Know who you are person too, which is why i brought it up lmao

uhh god not as many Stories after that lol.....def got to engage in “i’m ___ i’m gonna [draw the same character i always draw] so i won’t be so ___” during interesting times lol. love that for me

tbh the uh. Wanted arc was truly one of the best Serial Arcs, just dramatic & solid af and also it’s lars time and for a second i go “god well at least maybe now ppl will acknowledge lars is a gr8 character” and then a second later i go “Oh No they’ll only say he’s a good character *Now*” and that’s exactly what happened lmfao but well we still got as much lars fanart as we ever got outside that couple weeks aftermath... l o l . . . i had to wait One Zillion Years for my little brother to catch up to this b/c. he was watching via hulu i think where like, a full season would come out a good while after the finale. seriously i think it took him almost 2 years. im like dammit lmfao this is What Matters dfslk....fond memories when hulu was free / no login req’d / shit would be available like the day after airing

uhhhHHH crazy how this show muscled through the weird scheduling change where it was like “no weekly eps Only Erratic Hiatuses”......ppl were so foolishly Into the first “5 eps in a row” release and i was like “no i don’t like this” and then a year later i was like “you see. You See.” rip

i think we can even ffw to sutm at that point lol....im like im in this for lars okay lmfao kinda Shrugggg @ things by this point lol like finale shminale. where’s he at. and i really wasn’t paying a world of attention to like, prior-to-release lore n announcements so i was just plunged into this chaos of like sorry???? excuse me?? of all the people in the world sarah stiles?????? lfsdj like noooo don’t show me these tweets lmfao......truly it’s fine i’m being Hilarious but it’s also very real that like, when i see things like “showtime(tm)” or “SHO” or “billions content” i’m just doused with Dread b/c i hate this series lmao i swear to christ. but it’s really Fine lmfao like. i was kinda “eh :/” to “yea this is alright” about the rest of it but spinel was The Highlight lmfao and having $50 to go ham on her animation was great but really the voice acting Made It.....like the entire takeaways was uh the other friends sequence and fuckin uhh this part. fuck it up ms. stiles........hit it out of the park..........cain was the first funny bitch and spinel was the second. that thought just came to me and i will not elaborate. call that a revelation. oh and also it was a relief cuz i was like “i s2g if this Antagonist is like, aquamarine-style annoying af....i will die” but No. spinel is annoying af in another way which is her rights and i don’t want to die about it lmfao. she’s good.......i don’t even resent the “how come whenever some rando shows up ready to literally kill everyone for no good reason, all of you are ready to be like ‘wow an icon’ and we can’t have 10% of that energy for the teen who’s kinda bitchy b/c he’s annoyed by life and crap???” thing b/c i mean, she had her whole Arc all at once and also is good enough for it i think. the nadir was when the one rando shows up for like One episode like “i Don’t want to kill everyone :3 syke >:)” and for some reason people were like “omg iconic. call them on their ‘don’t kill everyone’ bullshit” like lol i hate you guys

well i like lars’s [last outfit we see him in] and i feel like it only backs up the bi agenda. another epic gamer moment had been when it became a Popular Hc that lars is trans b/c he is lmao. and everyone was all “why is everyone sayign this why would you want him to be trans he sucks” like get good grandma!!!!!!!! it’s too late. well that’s the end of my post. me in 2014 being like “wow way to have something to keep up with b/c now i have to outlive it to get all the dnads content i guess” and here i am. but it’s almost April 2020 so. haha 

hmm what’s a less ominous ending. oh shit another thing that was funny is i was like So about these Skull Plugs featured in this semi-official drawing of lars once and then horror club came out (fun b/c i like horror) and had the skull plugs for Real & they were glow in the dark. that was a big day for me even seeing the promos lmfao. except then i guess it was foreshadowing, so again i end this with Death. don’t we all

wait no lsfdjs What tf was matthew moy talking about “i like your hair.” dude dropping an i-guess cut line on us lmfao. alright alright im done

[moiynapakhi]

only in my old age does it hit how awful of a decision it was for angel to not only transplant the fang gang into a timeline where connor lives, but erase their memories too! it’s like the irreparable damage in season four was merely amplified. of COURSE angel doesn’t feel like his struggle’s getting him any closer to shanshu because he keeps not DEALING with this shit. he’s outchea changing timelines, wiping memories, rewinding days, etc. of COURSE he still harbors resentment against wesley bc the motherfucker’s repressed his feelings of both love and hatred towards him because how DARE one of his closest male friends try to STEAL his child and raise him on his own iNSTEAD OF WITH ANGEL HIMSELF???

and not to mention gunn/fred! they raised that boy for months! they played mom and dad while angel was hallucinating at the bottom of the ocean and wesley was enjoying his dark’ness with lilah AND tryna bring angel back to the surface, and lorne??? lorne clocked that boy’s crazy! angel, in his inability to deal with his grief and loss, stripped his team of their OWN ability to deal with their grief and loss. because THEY deserved to grieve too! wesley deserved to grieve his ousting from the group AND THE FACT THAT HIS PROPHECY FUCKING CAME TRUE. fred should have been able to grieve the crumbling of her relationship with gunn, her shame of not thinking she’s ‘champion’ enough, and the decisions she made in the throes of the literal apocalypse and the revelation that one of her key abusers was a trusted confidant. gunn should have been able to grieve the death of the son that was not his but the one he DID look after, and the relationship he ended after years of feeling helpless himself with no one caring for his needs and declining mental health.

connor was a bitch. his entire existence outside of when he was a baby was the bane of everyone’s existence, BUT HE WAS THEIR CHILD. THEY ALL TOOK TURNS RAISING HIM AND LOVING HIM. they should have been able to grieve not only his death but all the what-have-could-haves!

the tragedy of ats is that the writing was so fucking bad, it inadvertently made angel, the hero, the BIGGEST clown in the show by never allowing him to truly and honestly deal with his pain, and by extension, his team’s pain. the memory wipe was paint on rotting plaster. it wasn’t even half the fix-it angel thought it was, and all it did was diminish the suffering the fang gang had to go thru. it’s always angelus this, angelus this, wolfram and hart this wolfram and hart that, it’s never ANGEL, PLEASE DEAL. and it’s fucking tragic, because after eight seasons of content, he DID deserve to have some respite, to deal with his pain, and finally be put to rest instead of selfishly taking from his friends what only a god could do.

and angel was never a god, and yet he had access to god’s powers. instead of letting this man fucking DEAL with his shit with his friends’ support, joss instead flipped the story on its ass. deaths and unreconciled losses and relationships everywhere, until angel was left to what? fight eternally?

lmao the man never actually left hell, and his poor friends got dragged into it with him. this is why we never need a buffyverse reboot ever again. imagine giving one of the central characters from your original show a whole ass show of his own, and not even writing a conclusion for him. all these years and for what? so he could hurt lorne, watch the others die, and become the very bastard buffy called him out to be thru andrew? it’s grimdark shit from hell and i hope we never have to see a reboot or continuation of it bc IF we did, and angel was STILL doing his clown shit, then buffy WOULD be the one to send his ass to hell again bc all the story would have proved is that you can put a soul in a man, but you can’t make him like it. and how’s THAT for a metaphor? forget trying to atone for your fucking sins, cuz your ass is grass and goin straight back to hell regardless 🤦🏽‍♀️

angel im so sorry joss that dumb fuck did this to you. you were a whiny cunt, but you were loved, and i have every faith that you finally made it out of this hell 😭

[henry-and-the-seven-lords]

Hey Meg remember in obey me they did that play in one of the lessons. (you know the one where there's princess Diablo)

if they get to do an other play, what would the Bro's recommend doing?

I actually just got to that lesson! It's also funny that you ask this. Back in high school I would go to the local play competition with my school (never won, but I did get to direct one year). I am also in love with plays... even more than musicals. I think they are way more immersive than a musical or movie could ever be.

I picked most of these off the top of my head, or by looking through plays that other schools in my area did for the competition. I can't say that I have seen them all but the summaries sounded pretty good.

Well... that's enough of my ramblings so let's go!

Warnings: Asmo's mentions NSFW stuff

Navigation List

The Plays Each of the Brothers Would Pick

💙 Lucifer -

Hamlet by Shakespeare

Summary: A tragedy with ghosts, death, betrayal, and sword fights!

People have often called this one of the best plays. Of course he would pick this!

Also it is serious, has a good amount of drama, eloquent. It matches him perfectly.

He definitely wants to be Hamlet and have Diavolo be his uncle.

💛 Mammon -

A Tale of Two Spectators by Peter Manos

Summary: Two people watching their spouses have affairs together and they fall in love.

There are only 2 people in the cast. Guess who it would be?

Him and MC.

He wants his time to shine with them.

🧡 Leviathan -

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Rober Louis Stevenson

Summary: A man drinks a potion that splits his personality into good and evil and they share the same body.

He wany to be Dr. Jekyll.

He likes the dichotomy of good and evil. It reminds him of himself when he plays games vs. When he is shy.

(I could also see him doing some cyberpunk or anime rendition of a classic play like Romeo and Juliet)

💚 Satan -

An Evening with Edgar Allan Poe by Robert Mason

Summary: A retelling of 5 of Egar Allen Poe's best works. (Telltale heart, cask of amontiallado, etc.)

He likes classic literature, what can he say.

Also, Poe's literature can let his suppressed rage through in insanity! :D

(Could also see him picking one of Shakespeare's comedies to piss off Lucifer)

💖 Asmodeus -

Orlando by Sarah Ruhl

Summary: A young boy begins a 5 century journey where they discover themselves.

Orlando is quite promiscuous... so it matches with Asmo!

There are also a lot of elaborate costume changes which he would love.

And MC can be one of his many lovers ;)

❤ Beelzebub -

The Girl Who Swallowed a Cactus by Eric Coble

Summary: A girl and her friends find themselves in a desert and use their imagination to talk about how people affect the environment.

He liked the title because he has had that problem before.

But once he actually reads it, he like the adventure that the main characters have.

💜 Belphegor -

A Midsummer's Night Dream by Shakespeare

Summary: A fairy dabbles in fixing human affairs and mixes up two pairs of lovers.

He picked this play for 2 reasons and 2 reasons only.

As one of the lovers he can sleep for half of the play next to MC.

Lucifer said it was the stupidest play he has ever read.

Doesn't care which pair of lovers he is, he just thinks Asmo should be the ass.

[v-e-l-v-e-t-g-o-l-d-m-i-n-e]

I was tagged by @marley-manson​ to do this little fanfiction tropes tier game a few days ago and I finally had time to sit down and do it - even if it took me a while because I’m indecisive and I kept changing positions lmao. If I think too hard I may ending up just changing it again

overall my classification was something like

S - favorite things I look for in fic, can make me click right way

A - tropes I strong like when done right

B - tropes I like when done right but actually hate when it’s badly written (ot even half-assed)

C - tropes I’m mostly neutral/indifferent about. Wouldn’t say I actually dislike all of these but It has to be really very well written for me to like. D - tropes I usually dislike, some of them I would say I hate lmao. I’m a never-say-never kind of gal but it really has to be exceptionally well written for me to like these ones

*

I liked this game because it made me think of the things I usually crave in fics in a way I probably hadn’t before lmao. Like I realized that my love for dark fics came before I started to really get into Hannibal but Hannigram solidified my absolute love for this trope (since any canon or slight-canon-diverge Hannibal fic is usually by default a dark fic lmao). Mutual pinning, slow burn, lots of angst are major favorites as well.

And things like ABO or crossovers... I actually love crossovers of some things but it’s SO rare to find good crossover fics, nearly impossible. Back in my first DS9 watch I think I found some good ones in the old Trek archive but it’s not a common thing. And ABO... I have read some fics in this setting that were very good but I like it when it challenges the setting in some day. I also like when the author does an alpha/alpha or omega/omega pairing for the main ship in a way to explore that universe’s prejudices but again, it’s a rare thing and mostly ABO are just kind of terrible or horny. Horny and short can be good sometimes but I can’t excuse the terrible ones lmao

It depends on the pairing, but I’m known for enjoying unhappy endings and major character death fics. I like happy endings too, but some fics with unhappy endings hit just the right way, you know? Same for major character death, with the warning that I NEED to know i’m about to go head first into a tragedy. I really need the major character death warning, if the author puts this in the story out of nowhere it’s their prerogative but it can ruin the whole story for me permanently.

I don’t actually HATE college/high school/coffee shop and similar mundane AUs but they tend to blend together into one same boring thing for me and it’s rare to find one that stands out. Not impossible ofc - I remember reading a human florist/tattoo shop A/C fic that was really good because it explored Aziraphale’s self internalized homophobia in a way I really liked but this is not a thing it usually occurs to me.

I hate fics with pregnancy (other reason why it's rare for me to find ABO fics I like lmao), love triangles are often a source of frustration and miscommunication when overly done can make me give up on a fic. I put crack fic in this category of stuff I usually dislike, but I would also like to say that I actually love Crack Treated Seriously very much. But straight up crack is very rarely good lmao

This got very long! I’m not tagging people because I don’t know which mutuals and followers are very into reading fic like me, but if you want to do this game feel free to consider yourself tagged, it’s really a lot of fun!

Link to do the tier game:

https://tiermaker.com/create/fan-fiction-tropes-302768

[nexyra]

So there were a few likes about my post on DnD... meaning you get to know about our dumb shenanigans and my weird children

Starting with... the current campaign and the band of misfits that make up our party !

Rani Mankana (my OC)

Non-binary, They/She/He, 20 yo Human Ranger, Chaotic Neutral ESTP 7w8 8w9 4w5

Feral gremlin, bread-winner & problem child all at once

- Do whatever they want - Animals are better than humans - Left their village with absolutely no plan and have been fighting for 2 months with glorified gardening tools - Will try to punch you if you get in the way of their fun, but will also kill people who are being an ass to you - Knows nothing but constantly asking questions - Will take 98% of what you say literally - When people wallow & mope about not knowing what to do next, they scream until you get up and *try* something - Has known someone for 1 day and will decide that they're *theirs* now bc they're interesting - Main goal : catch them all (aka becoming friends with enough animals to create a travelling zoo) - Will die for you. Actually no, they have too much stuff to do & see to die so, will most likely kill for you

Lysora Dul'rik

Cis Man, He, ~28 yo Human Fighter/Warlock, Neutral Good ENFJ 3w2 7w6 1w2

Polite truth-seeker, smiling through the pain 7d/7

- Seems well-adjusted, actually dying inside - Constantly gets his worldview upturned by shocking revelations - Noble education & background, notably good at politics & social niceties - Great sense of responsabilities when it comes to protecting the party. TOO great, chill not everything is your fault - Likes to have some fun and get people together - Will die if you don't like him - Flirting is a great therapy method - Tendency to obsess over knowledge, not allowed to stay in a library unsupervised anymore - Very social, will ask for a random passerby name if he asked them a question. - Will die for you. But too busy to die for himself.

Ayla Jaym

Cis Woman, She, Lesbian, 25 yo Human-Werewolf Warlock/Barbarian, Loyal Good INFP 6w7 4w3 1w2

Lesbian disaster, social butterfly but having a hard time rn

- How nearly killing your gf affects your mental health : the story - "When I said I wanted a life like in the books I meant a fun heroic tale with a happy ending, not a 1000-pages tragedy." - Weapons nerd, yield a magic blue axe 3x her size - Any convo will end up with you questioning the meaning of your existence even though she just wanted to ask if you had a sister - Friends good and women pretty. - Born into the trading city of Offonsa where the only law is "don't steal" : somehow got out with a much more refined moral compass (to Rani's despair) - The plot can't catch up if I just avoid it - Will project her issues onto you so bad, you're gonna hope to never be on watch duty with her again - Will probably kill you on a full moon, but swears she didn't mean to

Balthazar Glowbrook

Cis Man, He, 38 yo Half-Orc Bloodhunter, True Neutral ISTP 9w1 5w6 4w3

The edgy grandpa, likely to explode at any given time bc of his experiments

- Thought that living alone in a cave for 10 years was a perfectly reasonable answer to being disappointed in humanity - And only left it when some random woman came find him only to get murdered during the night - Very knowledgeable, very smart but the party has only 1 braincell to share and it's usually Rani's - Awkwardness 100/10, will ramble and bury himself in the ground if left alone, do not trust with diplomatic lies - "Ayla is precious and I'd protect her with my life". Ayla transforms into a werewolf. Balthazar who's part of an organization tasked with killing werewolves : *surprised pikachu face* - Looks responsible. If left alone for more than 5 minutes, will create dubious alchemy potions and end up with chicken wings. - Looks like he could kill you but actually wouldn't. - B.O.O.K.S

Neldëaurë Ramëldis

Cis Man, He, 49 yo (16) Elf Wizard, Neutral Good INTP 6w5 9w1 2w1

The competent nerd, who feels the need to apologize for his very existence

- NEEEEERD - Nerd who collects the other nerds and gets shipped with all of them - "Hey you could pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you." - Constantly trying to make himself useful - Don't ever mention magical concepts if you're not ready to answer EVERY SINGLE ONE of his questions. He WILL ask you about the impact on portal on the links between plans. - Master at creating new ways to use his spells - The only one with a plan, takes everything in strides - "Okay give me 1 night and I'll uproot my entire life to join you and your dubious organization" - Even though he was part of a much more legal, legit & international organization - Will die if you so much as push him

All art done by Yamika - D&D Adventures That's my best friend pls check her out & give love, she the best and I love her with my whole heart !!!

[viastro]

lowkey | xu minghao

ミ★ synopsis: in which you’ve been pining after your fellow dance member, xu minghao, and he helps teach you the choreo one night.

ミ★ genre: mainly just humor, some fluff, y/n is a dummy, minghao is a softy

ミ★ warnings: none!

ミ★ word count: 3,648

ミ★ pairings: minghao x female reader

ミ★ notes: hi!! it’s been awhile uhh, i think i’ll be writing a lot more since i’m quite literally self quarantined. don’t hold me to that tho cause i’m a shithead when it comes to writing 🙈

You know, you weren’t that big of a fan of dancing when you were a child. The first day your mom brought you to your ballet class, you started crying because they wouldn’t give you the big, pink, fluffy tutu. As soon as the class ended you told your parents you were never dancing again, but look at you now. You’re 21 and you are still, in fact, dancing. To make it even better, you’re dancing different genres and are also now part of the dance team at Seoul University.

While you’ve obviously grown to have a love for the art, your parents still like to tease you and copy the way you used to cry about not wanting to go to dance. The most popular quotes they mock you with are, “Wahh! You can’t make me go to ballet! I’m not even the Sugar Plum fairy, this isn’t fair!” as well as the very special, “I’m not a dancer, for I, am The Rock.” (You had a The Rock obsession, so what?) Even then, you let them have their fun because you were truly a nightmare to get into the studio as a child. The three of you made the conscious decision to only j​oke about it together and to ​never ​bring it up to your dance team.

NEVER.

Especially since the guy you’ve been pining over for a good year is part of the dance team. In fact, he’s one of the aces of the team. There’s four of them: Soonyoung, Chan, Junhui, and last but definitely ​not the man of your dreams, ​Xu Minghao. The Uni students like to refer to them as the Four Aces, A4 for short. They’re practically Gods at the University, all the freshmen have a crush on them whether they want to admit it or not. Whenever the big showcase comes up the four of them are a subunit and have their own choreo. It’s pretty epic.

You’re rather close to Soonyoung and Chan since they help you out after practice is over so you can touch up on choreo. Soonyoung’s usually the one you go to to ask for help considering he’s the one who comes up with the choreographies half the time.

“Okay but y/n, make sure to make that move sharper. It shouldn’t be that soft, it has to be aggressive. Yeah, like that!” Soonyoung tells you with a big smile once you correct it. You grin, pushing your bangs off your sweaty forehead. You glance over at the clock to see that it’s 12 am already.

“Let’s continue on Monday, Soonyoung. It’s already really late.” You tell him and he looks up at the clock, shock now displayed over his features. “Holy shit. I didn’t even realize it’s already midnight.” He mutters, making his way over to his bag to pack up his stuff.

“Time flies when you’re with a cool gal like me.” You joke.

Soonyoung looks up and stares at you, no emotion on his face. The room is in pure silence.

“You are hilarious.” Soonyoung says blankly after a beat and you throw your sweat towel at him. He lets out a giggle, dodging said sweat towel. You chug the last of the water in your bottle, before tossing it into your bag. You throw your gym bag over your shoulder and pick up the sweat towel you threw at Soonyoung.

“You’re lucky this bitch didn’t land on your face. It would’ve been a tragedy.” You tell him with a smile, going in for a high five.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you later y/n!” You wave bye and head out the door.

“UghhhHHHH!” You screech into your pillow, kicking the bed with your feet at the same time. Seungcheol stares at you as you have a mental breakdown from the chair by your bedroom window. You lift your head up to suck in some more air before slamming your face back down into the pillow to scream some more.

“Y/N... please... I just wanted some ramen.” Seungcheol begs from the chair, flipping himself so that his head is hanging from the end of the seat where your ass is supposed to be. You lift your head up, shooting him the scariest death glare you can muster. He squeaks, closing his eyes and turning away.

“Haha.... Just kidding... go ahead...”

You turn over in bed, now staring at your ceiling. You recall the previous events of your day that has led up to this exact moment of internal self ​LOATHING​.

earlier...

“Soonyoung, can you come look at this?” You call from the floor of the dance studio, he turns and jogs on over you after telling Jun and Minghao to wait a minute. Minghao stares at you and you glance down at the IPad right away. ​Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

“What’s up?” Soonyoung asks as he plops down beside you, back against the mirrors. You show him the competition list, and he lets out a sigh. “God.” He mutters, turning off the IPad and pushing it to the side.

“Guys, we’re competing against Mayhem.” Soonyoung announces to the group and almost everyone groans. Well, pretty much everyone except Wheein. She ends up choking on her water mid-sip and leaves the studio in a coughing fit.

“Literally why. I swear, they have something against us. Not even kidding, they literally wanna eat our ASS!” Jun yells and Minghao pats him on the back. You put your head into your hands, closing your eyes as you realize how much harder Soonyoung and Chan are gonna push the group to make sure we get another win.

So basically Mayhem are your biggest competitor, but they have a vengeance against your group specifically. You’re not sure whether it was because of the time you accidentally walked in on one of their lead dancers using the restroom because she didn’t lock the door, or the time Chan ate the last chocolate donut in the rehearsal room. Either way, they’ve made it their ultimate life goal to beat you guys in every competition.

Too bad they haven’t been able to do that.

“As long as we work harder, it’ll all work out in the end. Everyone, get in formations.” Soonyoung announces, clapping his hands. Everyone makes their way to the middle of the dance studio, but you sit there and pout.

“Y/N, c’mere.” Chan calls over, shooting you one of his dazzling smiles and making a grabby hand towards you. You sigh, unable to say no to one of the cutest men alive.

Guess I'll die.

“Y/N, hit that move harder! Good!” Soonyoung yells as he watches you practice in the mirror. You feel your cheeks get warm after he calls you out in front of the rest of the team.

In fact, you were so embarrassed by the constructive criticism that when it was time to change the formation you accidentally tripped over Minghao’s foot, aka the foot of the guy you’ve had a crush on for the past two years haha !

This causes you to fall forward, about to plummet your face into the hardwood floor, only for Minghao to quickly step forward and wrap his arm around your waist, spinning you around, basically saving you from a lot of physical pain. It was, indeed, one of the biggest cliches you’ve ever been through in your 21 years of living, but did that stop your heart from beating out of your chest when you were looking into Minghao’s eyes? No. :D.

“Are you okay?” He asks breathlessly and you try to find your voice so that you can answer and not look like a buffoon. Alas, you cannot escape from who you truly are. ​A buffoon. ​You end up squeaking out a “yes.” and twirl yourself out of his grasp, only to trip over your own two feet so he reaches out and steadies you once again.

“Welcome back.” Minghao jokes at the fact that you’re in his grasp once again and you squeak once more, jumping away from him.

It’s only then that you realize the rest of the team is just gawking at you two. Well, except the rest of the A4. Their facial expressions range between a look of surprise and mischief. Minghao begins to take notice of the silence in the room and ends up coughing into his arm to break it. Everyone starts acting normal to avoid getting on Minghao’s bad side.

“Well.. let’s run it from the top shall we?” Chan says as he casts a smirk in your direction. You stick your tongue out at him and he chuckles, heading over to restart the song. You glance up into the mirror and notice Minghao’s eyes on you, and he gives you a sly grin.

Oh good god.

present

“So.. what you’re telling me is that you not only embarrassed yourself in front of your dance team, but also in front of the guy you’ve been pining after for the past what, year?” Seungcheol asks. You nod your head slowly, and he has half the mind to giggle slightly.

“Motherfucker why are you LAUGHING at my MISFORTUNE!!” You yell, throwing your pillow at his face. Seungcheol dodges the pillow while laughing at your outburst.

Frowning you mutter in tiny font, “It’s actually been two years.”

“I have an idea.” You glance up at Seungcheol with a slight hopeful expression on your face.

“What if... you just talk to him?!” You are now frowning at Seungcheol.

“Are you crazy? After our four years of friendship you think ​I’m​ going to talk to the person I’m secretly in love with?! Absolutely insane, love. That would never work anyways, I’ll just admire him from a distance like I usually do.” You explain, sitting up in bed.

Seungcheol stares at you for a moment. Your eyebrows are furrowed as you pout down at your folded hands. Your hair is a mess from slamming your head down onto your pillow for at least ten minutes. You may have passed out for a minute due to that but that’s a secret we’ll never tell. He cocks his head to the side, now thinking about how dumb you are. What you apparently don’t know is that Seungcheol is close friends with A4. He’s heard Minghao complain about how shy he is towards you, and how he just wants “to hold her hand sometimes, maybe even a hug and kiss on the forehead. Perhaps even... a kiss on the lips.”

But I’ll just let her suffer. ​Seungcheol thinks to himself.

“Whatever you say y/n. I’m gonna start making some ramen ​myself​ now since you seem to not wanna get out of bed. Came over for us to have a ramen bonding study session only for it to end up with you being stubborn and threatening to murder me with a hanger. I hate it here. This is Seungcheolphobic.” Seungcheol complains under his breath as he gets up and steps out of your bedroom. You glare at his back, laying back down so that you’re once again staring up at your white ceiling. You grab your white pillow beside you and hold it up, imagining that it’s Minghao.

“​Hi. M​y name’s Minghao, I have nice black hair with pretty brown eyes and a beautiful smile. Not only am I tall, lean and fashionable, but I’m also a multi-talented man. I like to volunteer at the animal shelter for funsies and I have a part time job at a dance studio teaching little kids how to dance. Fuck YOU Minghao. Perfect ass bitch. Literally being my dream man I HATE it here.” You mutter to yourself as you glare at your pillow you’re holding above you.

You scoff, throwing the pillow onto the floor and turning over in bed, now staring out the window. The scent of ramen goes through your nose and you find your tummy beginning to rumble. You hear a new sizzle as you assume Seungcheol is making you both eggs. You sigh, getting up from bed.

“Wallow in self pity later. Have fun with your bestie now.”

“Y/N!” You glance up from your phone to see Chan standing in front of you with a knowing smile that has you feeling a bit nervous. “What...”

“So the incident that happened on Monday-”

“Oh hell no! We aren’t talking about this.” You shut him down real quick, standing up to walk to the other side of the practice room. Chan giggles and reaches out to grab your arm, stopping you from running away to safety.

“Channie! I don’t wanna talk about it please!” You whine and he laughs even more, patting your shoulder to calm you down.

“Alright, alright. I just wanted to let you know that Soonyoung and I have to go to a seminar tonight so we won’t be able to help you later with the choreo.” He tells you regretfully and you raise an eyebrow, heartbeat quickening a bit.

“Then why are you here? Who’s gonna teach me-”

“Chan?” You pause as you hear that familiar voice.

Oh... my god....

“Hi Minghao, I’m just letting Y/N know that you’ll be helping her out tonight since Soonnie and I are busy.” Chan says, and flashes you a sly smile. You almost reach out and choke him but he pulls away.

“Have fun y/n!” He sings and walks out the door, leaving you and... ​him ​alone. You glance up at Minghao as he sets down his bag, taking his hat off along with it. Your eyes widen once he looks over at you and you glance down.

“How often do you do these late night practices with Soonyoung and Chan?” He asks, taking off his windbreaker as well and you feel yourself ​break out into a sweat.

“Um, every week. Soonyoung started helping me once he walked in at like 2 am only to find me practicing for our first showcase in freshman year. It’s been our thing since then, Chan joined in on our late night practices when he was a freshman as well.” You explain, putting your hair up into a low ponytail. He nods with a satisfied look on his face, heading over to plug his phone into the aux.

“What are you struggling on? Is it the part before the change in formation?” Minghao asks and you almost throw yourself off a cliff once the vision of Minghao holding you from last week pops into your mind. He turns to look at you once he notices how you’ve become silent, “I just thought because of what happened on Monday that you were struggling with that-”

“No, no I totally understand why. By the way, I’m so sorry for uh.. falling... on you...” You mutter quietly and he shakes his head, waving his hand as if to say, no biggie!

“But yeah, that one is kind of hard because the formation change is one that we don’t do often, ya know?” You answer and he nods. “Yeah I totally get that, don’t worry.” He responds and you find yourself staring at his black hair, which now covers his eyes a bit.

He’s the only guy who can make a mullet look good, you think to yourself. He glances up at you and gestures for you to go to the middle of the dance floor, to which you comply.

“Alright, so let me play the part right before the formation changes so that I can see you do it. Then we can work on what I see you struggling on and fix it.” You nod. It didn’t hit you until now that the guy you’ve been pining over is going to watch you dance by yourself, analyzing your every move to see what mistake you’d make. Now that it’s hit you, you think you’re gonna shit yourself.

Minghao gives you a thumbs up in the mirror and starts the music. Once you notice the part coming you glance up in the mirror, feeling your stage persona take over and the nerves ease away. Minghao watches you turn from the shy, timid person he knows, to a confident and talented woman as you dance. The change has him in awe as he watches you wink in the mirror when you hit a move nicely. He sees you fumble a bit shortly after before catching yourself, continuing to perform as if it never occurred. He pauses the music once you go to your spot in the formation, and you catch your breath.

“You’re really fantastic at what you do, I could see your stage presence come out and it was really uh, attractive, ​to see. I noticed the technicality error, and it’s really small so don’t worry. I’ll just run through it with you.” Minghao explains and you nod, feeling your face heat up when he compliments you. What you don’t notice is that Minghao’s full on blushing right now from his slip up, but he turns away before you can take notice of it.

“So you need to watch your footing here, because you fumbled a bit during this part,” Minghao performs the specific move where your feet cross over before going into a spin. His movements are similar to water, usually so soft and gentle but later become sharp, similar to an ocean wave crashing onto the shore.

“Try that.” He tells you after he specifies what made you slip up and you nod. Getting into position, you redo what he did and he smiles, clapping his hands.

“Nice! Okay now,” He does the small body roll and you bite the inside of your cheek, cursing to yourself. You stare at his face, noticing the small furrow to his brow as he puffs up his chest for the next move. Minghao glances up into your eyes as he does this and pauses. Warmth floods your face as he seemingly stops teaching you. ​She’s so pretty, Minghao thinks to himself as he watches you for a moment. He runs a hand through his hair, breaking the eye contact as he glances down at the shiny wood floor.

“Is there something on my face?” He mutters and you break out of your spell, shaking your head profusely.

“No! No, sorry I just...” You panic, fingers fumbling together as you try and come up with a response that doesn’t mention how handsome he is and how much you wanna run your fingers through his hair.

“You just what?” Minghao asks, cocking his head to the side as he watches you internally freak the fuck out.

“I just... I really think you’re an amazing dancer and you’re really handsome but it’s so much more than that. You’re so passionate and good at what you do, but I’m really intimidated by you and I’ve been crushingonyouforyears so being in a room alone with you is really nerve-wracking.” You quickly explain. He freezes, staring at you with wide eyes. You also quite literally pause.

CUT THE CAMERAS...

DEADASS!!! Did I DEADASS JUST CONFESS IN A FIT OF NERVOUSNESS!!

“I... am so sorry. I’m going to go. You don’t have to like me back, I’m so sorry!” You apologize profusely, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes as you start to back up towards your bag. He reaches out and gently takes a hold of your wrist, pulling you to him in a hug. You freeze in his embrace, and he nuzzles his head into your neck.

“Don’t go. I like you too, y/n.” He mutters quietly.

And this. This is when you start sobbing.

You fall to your knees, covering your face with your hands as you ugly sob right in front of the guy who you no longer have to pine after. He’s staring at you helplessly as you cry into your hands about the fact that you thought your crush was hopeless for years, and how you never expected this to happen.

“I-I’m so sorry. I’ve been really e-emotionally unstable, ​hiccup, r​ecently for no reason. This is like, the best day of my, ​hiccup, l​ife.” You explain through your tears and Minghao lets out one of his cute little giggles that sends you over the edge once again. You let out a loud sob and he giggles again, pulling you to him in a hug and rubbing small circles on your back.

“That’s okay, we can keep it a secret from everyone that you sobbed after I confessed to you.” He tells you soothingly and you hit his arm softly, making him chuckle at you.

“How are you so calm right now?” You complain, pulling back ​regretfully f​ rom the hug and looking up at him with tear tracks running down your face, along with a bit of snot. ​How cute, h​e thinks to himself. He reaches over to his bag from the floor and grabs his towel, wiping away your snot and tears.

“I’m quite literally shitting bricks right now from happiness, but I’m just not showing it because I didn’t want to overwhelm you.” Minghao explains and you bite the inside of your cheek. You glance back up at him and he gives you a small smile, reaching up and patting your head.

“You wanna get back to the choreo?” He asks you and you shrug, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. Crying made you tired.

“Can we just hug for a bit more?” You ask and he smiles, pulling you back into his warm embrace. You sigh contentedly, nuzzling your head into his shoulder. You both stay like that for a while, letting the recent events settle into your thrumming hearts.

“Does this mean we’re... boyfriend and girlfriend...” (👉👈) Minghao asks shyly, breaking the comfortable silence. Giggling, you reply, “I believe so Minghao.”

He squeezes you even tighter, nuzzling his head further into the crook of your neck.

“Good.”