#and d.) i never half-ass a tragedy

[ahamkara-apologist]

Hmm hmm debating making Crow's fear-infatuation with Aeris into a genuine short-term crush post-SOTH that Aeris knows about and is uncomfortable with, not only bc it would be a very good harsh lesson for himself given the fact that he is Not In A Good Place right after he escaped but also bc Aeris himself doesn't have enough problems so I gotta slap him with the aroace axe of 'I wish I could be this for you but I cannot' as well as 'I don't know if it's because I can't feel as other's do and I worry if there's fundamentally something wrong with me' autistic aro experience on top of it. Crow grows out of it eventually ofc and in the long run Aeris as YW can't exactly linger on himself for long but it would be an interesting take to spin on the whole concept since Crow/YW pairings are so common in fandom (for good reason)

[starfirewildheart]

Chapter 18

Summary: Sy and his lady both retire from the army but not before tragedy befalls Sy. He slowly tries to adjust to life again on their ranch.

Pairing: Sy / OFC

Word count: 2,353

Rating: mentions of war; being a POW, death and animal abuse. Nothing graphic I promise but if the fic continues (if y'all like it) I'll add warnings for each chapter.

Chapter 18

Deb yawned and stretched, smiling as the soft blanket slid down over her naked body. She took stock in herself noticing the knee brace had been reattached and her body ached in all the right places but she was alone. “Sy?” She called out.

August heard Debbie's soft voice call out and rushed to check on her. “Hey.” He bit back the smirk that was itching to spread across his face as she blushed and covered her pert breasts with the blanket. “Sy and Geralt went on a couple errands. Do you need anything?”

She bit her lip. “Did he say how long he'd be gone?”

“I figure about an hour, hour and a half.” He noticed her squirming. “I can help you if you need something. “

“I..I need to use the bathroom please.” Her face flamed all the way to the tips of her ears.

“Ah, no problem.” He walked to her side of the bed and started to reach for her and she squeaked.

“No, wait! I need some clothes. In the dresser, on the left side are some sleep pants and on the right are some of Sy's t-shirts.”

August gathered the requested clothes and took them to her. He smirked when she looked at the sleep shorts he handed her. They were very short. “Easier to get over your cast darlin. Want me to help?”

“No! Just wait outside the door please?”

Just before he pulled the door closed he looked back over his shoulder. “No standing on that leg, young lady or you're in trouble.” He chuckled when her jaw dropped. 

After cleaning up in the bathroom, August carried her to the kitchen and sat her on the island countertop and handed her a glass of juice and some pills.

“What are these?”

“Anti-inflammatory, muscle relaxer, and antibiotic.” He pointed to each one as he listed them. She tossed them back with a sip of the juice. “Good girl,” 

Deb blushed and grinned shyly at the praise. August picked her up again and instead of carrying her with her legs, well good leg around his waist and his arms under her bottom like Sy, he carried her on his hip like a toddler. 

He settled them on the sofa with her bad leg across his lap and flipped the t.v on finding a show for them to watch. 

“So is there a girl somewhere waiting on you?” She arched her brow at him.

“Personal much?”

“Very, but you dressed me in booty shorts so it's fair,” She smirked.

He sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. “I'm sure there is one, somewhere but I'm never in one place long enough to form attachments.“ She was shocked at his honest answer instead of his usual smart-assed avoidance when the conversation turned to him. It was a common theme with all the guys in the unit. They all traveled so much that they didn't have anywhere to call home after leaving the military. “Don't give me that look, princess,” he shook his head at her.

“There's no look,” She held up her hands in a universal surrender pose. 

“Attachments are weaknesses and weaknesses get people killed.”

“Do you really believe that?” 

“Yes,” his voice was adamant. 

“And you think people who have them are weak,” She added.

“Yes.” 

She nodded and chewed at her bottom lip. “That's why you didn't like me. You see me as a weakness for Sy. You think I make him vulnerable.” They were all statements, not questions. When he didn't respond she knew she was right. “All of you look up to and respect Geralt like he's the father or big brother you never had. He doesn't see love as a weakness.”

“It's different with Sy. Geralt really does act like a father to him and he wants Sy to be happy.”

“He wants you all to be happy,” She countered. “Why do I make Sy weak?”

He moved her leg and stood. “We aren't having this conversation.”

“I'm being serious. I need to know,” She pressed. “I love him and I don't want him to make a mistake.”

August turned to her, eyebrow arched. “Even if you're the mistake?”

“Yes,” She answered without hesitation. “I want to protect him as much as you do.”

“So you can do something stupid like run away? I get the blame and suddenly you're back together? I'm smarter than that girl.”

“I wouldn't run. Sy made me promise him after our very first disagreement that I wouldn't run until we talked out our problem.”

“Not a person to stick around when things get tough?” He leaned his shoulder against the bookshelf with his arms crossed over his chest looking down at her.

She squirmed under his judgmental glare but decided it was only fair to get asked tough questions if you were going to ask them of someone else. “No, I mean, not the way you think anyway. I've never thought I'm good enough for Austin. Always felt like he deserved so much better than me. He disagreed then and still does. When we first got serious I promised myself that I would tell him everything, every dark, dirty little secret and he would see for himself and leave me but  h… he didn't. He told me that I blamed myself for…” She stopped. “The story isn't important but he made me promise to never try to push him away again and not to run because he would chase me to the end of the world if he had to and I believe he would.”

“Sy's on a ranch now. He's out of the game so it's different.” He tried to brush it off. They both looked at the front door when they heard Aika barking.

The door opened and the furry missile darted through the room and leapt onto the couch covering Deb in kisses. Soon enough there were squeals and giggles of laughter.  “Mercy! Mercy,” Deb gasped between licks from the wet tongue of Aika.

“Akia, heel,” Sy gruffed in a commanding tone. Akia instantly went to him standing against his leg. “Good girl, yea such a good girl,” he praised giving her love and scratches. He moves over to the sofa and sits down next Deb giving her a kiss of her own. “You feeling ok?”

She nodded, “August helped me in here cause I was tired of being alone in there.”

“You were resting so well I didn't want to wake you but it's payday for the hands,” he explained. 

“Did you bring me the books?” She asked, preparing to work on the payroll.

“Amy stopped by earlier and brought all the paychecks. She's been keeping the books since you were in the hospital,” Sy explained. “She jumped in so we could keep the horses fed and cared for and I could focus on you.”

“Oh, that was really nice of her. I'm sorry she had to do that but I'm all better now. I can go back to work.” All three men turned and looked at her like she'd grown a second head. “What? I am. Well I can,” She pouted and crossed her arms.

Sy kissed the top of her head and snuggled her close. “Uh-huh, that's adorable. You're getting better but no, you aren't well yet and if you even think about trying to work you won't be able to sit or stand,” he grinned, squeezing her ass for emphasis. His blood rushed south when she looked up at him with big eyes through her lashes. He cleared his throat trying to distract himself from how bad he wanted to take her right there.  “Bet Auggie picked out these little shorts, huh?”

Geralt's bark of laughter echoed from the kitchen and August’s ears turned red as he sat several cans of soda on the coffee table. “I , she told me to get them!”

“Sleep pants!” She corrected. “And Sy's shirt.”

Geralt came back from the kitchen with paper plates, pizza and breadsticks putting them all on the coffee table. “It's OK little one we all know August is an ass man. He's been trying to get a look at you in tight pants since he got here,” he winked at her before grabbing some pizza and sitting down in a chair on the right side of the sofa.

They all laughed and Deb secretly winked at Sy. “I need,” She leaned over Sy's lap stretching to reach the end table lifting her bum up a little bit. She collapsed in a fit of giggles when Sy lifted the t-shirt up showing off her butt.

August growled as he flopped down in a chair at the opposite end of the couch with his food. “Fuckin teases, all of ya “ he huffed but couldn't  hide his smirk. 

 They all ate their pizza while they joked and laughed,  even watched a couple of movies before August left to go to Walt’s. Napoleon had a job to do for a few days so August was going to take his shifts with Mike until he returned. They cleaned up their messes and all turned in for the night. 

~~~~~~♡~~~~~~

Will went through the house checking the doors and making sure everything is secure one final time for the night before he is off shift since August was there to take over. As he was walking toward the guest room he noticed Mike's light on and Door ajar. “Everything alright?”

Mike shrugged then grimmaced; fuckin shoulder. “Yea.”

Will stepped into the room  and sat on the end of the bed facing Mike. “You know it's OK to say no, right?”

“So people keep saying,” he had to fight not to roll his eyes. He knew they all meant well but they didn't know what he was going through. They didn't understand. “I just need all this to be over so I can figure out what's gonna happen to me.”

Will's brow furrowed. “You're gonna be ok Mike. You've got people who are willing to fight for you, to take care of you.”

“I..,” he shook his head, “I can take care of myself. I just have to get out of here to do it. Do you think they really need me to testify? I mean they have Debbie and as far as my old man goes, his dealing with the gang should be enough to convict him, right?”

“If you don't want to testify,  you don't have to. I know that no one has talked to either one of you about any of that yet. I think the hope is that there is enough evidence that it will speak for itself,” Will explained. 

“Do you think they would let me visit my dad?” Mike focused on picking some invisible lint off his jeans.

“Walt can..”

“He said he didn't think it was a good idea,” he cut in.

“Did he say why?”

He shrugged again and growled out “fuck” grabbing his shoulder. “He doesn't think it's good for me. I guess he thinks I can't handle it.”

Will thought about his response for a moment.  “I've only known Walt since the rescue so I won't say he's out of line. I'm sure he means well but I think you need to talk to Sy and Debbie.”

“No, I don't want to bother them. They have enough to deal with.”

“Kid, you know they just got home today right?” 

Mike nodded. “I'm glad she's finally healed enough to go home.”

“They called as soon as they found out she was being released. You know that right?” Mike shook his head. “They told us to get you packed up so we can bring you home to them tomorrow.”

“I..I don't think that's a good idea. I should stay here.”

“Why wouldn't..”

“I'm pretty tired. Think I'm gonna try to sleep now,” he cut him off.

Will sighed and nodded. “Good night.” He headed out to talk to August.

~~~~~~♡~~~~~~

Sy jumped when Geralt stepped up beside him. “Slipping wolf?” the white haired man chuckled.

“Apparently so,” he finished fixing the coffee pot for the next morning. 

“Security company will be here tomorrow at ten to start the security camera install. They've been checked out and approved of course.”

“I can't thank you enough, all of you…”

“Stop. You don't thank family, Syverson.” Sy smiled and nodded, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the counter. Geralt mirrored him, leaning against the island. “You ok pup? Do not lie to me,” he warned. 

“It's better since we've been home. It helps when everything is familiar and having Aika.” She hadn't left Sy's side at all. “I'm sorry you've had to deal with my bullshit. I just didn't want to dump it on Deb with everything else.”

“PTSD isn't bullshit,” he scolded. “Besides, they haven't been full episodes, just the oncoming panic. You..” 

They both jolted and ran to the master bedroom aa Debbie's screams echo through the house, Akia even running and growling. All three burst into the bedroom. Sy turned the light on and went straight to Debbie while Geralt and Aika searched for foul play. “Hey, hey, shhhhhhh,” Sy soothed as he woke her from what was obviously a nightmare. She flailed her arms, fighting an invisible attacker until her panicked eyes slowly opened and locked onto Sy.  “Hey, there's my girl,” he kissed her head and hugged her and could feel her body trembling as she clung to him. He repositioned them so they were laying on their sides facing each other, Deb curled against him. “I've got you baby.”

“T..they were t..t..touching me again.” Her voice was nearly a whisper. “try hurt you again,” he promised.  “I know that doesn't change what they've already done but it's over now.” 

Gearlt and Aika came back from doing a perimeter check. He walked up to the bed. “Everything's secure. Need anything?” He asked Sy.

“Try something?” He asked and Geralt inclined his head. “Lay down behind her?”

“I don't know if..” Geralt started but Debbie turned over and grabbed his hand before he could retreat. Those sweet blue eyes locked with his and it was like she could see into his soul and he couldn’t deny her anything. Kicking off his boots he climbed in behind her.

She snuggled between the two huge bodies and slowly started to calm down when they were all pounced and she was covered in wet doggie kisses. “Aika!” She chuckled as she scratched her ears. Once Aika was sure her human was OK she laid dowcryn on all their legs. Deb's shaking eased up and she turned so that she could see them both as her eyes got heavy .  “Safe,” She said, yawning as her eyes slid closed.

Tag List

@shellyshellshell

@enchantedbytomandhenry

@mrsevans90

@summersong69

@mollymal

@warriormirkwood

@bloodyinspiredme

@kneelforloki

@liecastillo

@mollymal

[hargrove-mayfields]

Disabled Billy and Steve Week

Day 3- special interests

My prompt: Harringrove- Shared Special Interest

-•-•-•-

One month. Billy and Steve have been living together for one month.

In that time they’ve discovered a lot about each other, things they never expected. Things like Steve hanging his jackets and sweaters in rainbow order in the closet, or Billy placing the cups in diagonal lines in the cabinet.

Only one thing had caused a disagreement, and that was about furniture covers. Billy’s ocd wanted them to avoid touching “sofa stank ass,” but Steve’s autism hated the texture of sitting on fabric on top of fabric.

Their solution was two separate chairs instead of one couch. Close enough to hold hands constantly, but separate enough to enforce their individual boundaries. Sure, it means cuddles are limited to their bed, but Billy’s on bedrest with full body aches and bouts of fibro fog usually once a week, so it works.

However, by far the most exciting tidbit they’d discovered was that they share a special interest. Games.

Video games, board games, sports- they’ve both explored the history, researched the best strategies, and played thousands upon thousands of games. DND had brought them together through mutual friendship with Eddie, while Super Mario kept their relationship on its toes.

Tonight, their choice was a little unconventional for them, a big dusty box fished from the very back of the closet. An inherited, smoke stained edition of Scrabble. If either of them and their dyslexia had realized that making a goal to play every game in the house would mean playing a spelling game, they might not have made that promise.

But, Steve already was dead set on doing it, and his dedication was not to be messed with. They were going to play that game, no matter how long it took.

Currently almost two hours and half a bag of letter chips in, it’s Steve’s turn again.

“Uhhh, I’ll spell… sunset! S-U-N.. S-E-T.”

Every chip is placed carefully, and they both double check it with the help of their Scrabble approved dictionary. At first, he’d placed them in the wrong spot, connected to a D instead of the S on the end that he meant to use, but they fixed it quickly instead of dwelling on the mistake. Billy knows Steve might cry of embarrassment if they keep the focus on his mistake for too long.

But now it’s time for Billy to have yet another go, as Steve reminds him in case he forgot again, “Your turn, Bubs! Got anything good?”

“Honestly? I have no ideas. These letters suck.” Billy grumbles, pushing the small tray that holds the letter chips away.

“You can look it up.” Steve suggests, the only way they ever agreed to go along with this game being shortcuts and technical cheats.

But Billy shakes his head, in deep concentration, “No. No, I wanna do it on my own.”

Steve gives an encouraging smile, “Take your time. I’m watching the TV over your shoulder.”

Something about the way Billy snorts says he doesn’t see that as encouragement, but instead sounds hurt, “I’m that boring, huh?”

Regretting the way he’d put it so bluntly, Steve makes sure to promise kindly, “Nope! I just like the game shows!”

It’s true too. He likes learning new words in a way that doesn’t make his brain feel like it’s on fire. And watching other people fail and struggle, even the best of the best, makes him feel a lot better about playing mostly two or three lettered words in this here game of Scrabble.

Billy’s shoulders relax with ease, satisfied that Steve isn’t annoyed with him. He does, however, quip sarcastically, “We’re so old.”

“Thirty isn’t old.” Steve hums, actually happy to be growing older instead of being trapped in the misery of his teens forever.

Growing up meant growing out of his intense self-deprecation, after leaving behind all the pain and the tragedy he’d gone through. Now in California, playing board games with the love of his life, nothing else matters.

Billy clarifies his meaning, showing to Steve that he feels the same way, and was just using an expression, “I’m not talking about literally, baby. And stop rounding up, I’m only 26.”

It’s lighthearted and they both smile, but something keeps nagging in Steve’s head. One of those old fears of his rising up despite his insistence that they don’t bother him anymore.

“We can do young people stuff.” He offers, sounding kind of upset though he doesn’t mean to let it show, “I mean, I just thought this was fun...”

Even though they’ve got a game set up, Billy leans over the small table on his elbows, and holds Steve’s hands, “Stevie. It’s great. I love these slow days with you. They make me happier than anything. I was just kidding.”

Instant relief floods Steve’s nervously twisted stomach, but just in case he asks, “You’re sure? ‘Cause we can do something else.”

It’s his fault they’re doing this. He said it would be okay. Fun even. He said they can do anything they want.

“I want to keep playing.” Billy promises, and then a real pleased look crosses his face, “I just thought of a word even.”

“What is it?” Steve brightens up immediately, leaning forward in interest.

Billy uses an ‘O’ chip already on the board to spell- “Love.”

Picking up from the look on Billy’s face, it’s not a coincidence that he’s taken to flirting through a board game. Steve blushes like they haven’t already been together for eight years. These slow times between them can be relaxing, but they’re usually days where they check in on their romance too. Rekindling the passion over a goddamn spelling game, that should, by all means, have caused Steve to panic ages ago.

It’s sweet, and it only gets better.

An adjacent ‘S’ in line with Billy’s ‘O’ and an ‘M’ further down the board makes it so Steve can spell the biggest word he’s ever played in this game, “Oh! I can use that to spell Soulmate!!”

“You got that right. I’m yours, and you’re mine.” Billy says all suavely. Steve’s literally giggling and kicking his feet, only to be shown once again through the next move just how much of a romantic Billy is.

“Matter of fact, I can use that new M to spell- Marry.”

For a moment, Steve just stares.

He’s not sure if it’s genuine or just a strategy, until Billy produces a tiny box from his pocket. It’s wooden, looks hand carved. Inside is a ring with a small ruby in a heart shape attached to a band, one he recognizes as being Billy’s mothers.

“Billy-“ He chokes. The words he’d been doing so good at freeze up. He’s used his brain so much today and now it’s failing him?

Billy is patient though, leaving the box propped open on the table so he doesn’t have to hold it and lock his wrist up, “Stevie.”

Steve swallows down his nerves as best he can, and starts to ask, “Are you..?”

“I am.” Billy finishes for him, so Steve doesn’t get too frustrated. It’s then that he starts to look nervous too. He chews his lip, a stim Steve recognizes as being an anxious one. Like he’s done something wrong by asking for something so big, “Do you want to?”

But this, this couldn’t be more perfect. A proposal through their shared special interest, a lifelong passion channeled into their love. Of course Steve wants that too. Really, he’s wanted it ever since they were teenagers, but now that they’re in their twenties, they’re finally ready for that dream to become a reality.

“Yes! Of course I’ll marry you!”

~~~~~~

For todays disability organization spotlight, let’s talk about the National Fibromyalgia Association.

The NFA is a site which provides health information and resources about Fibromyalgia, a condition that is under researched and often disregarded by medical professionals as not even existing.

The information on their site ranges from self care guides, science explaining chronic pain, COVID precautions for our disorder, medication and treatment suggestions, and emotional assistance for fibromyalgia patients, among other things.

Run by doctors and fibromyalgia patients alike, the websites main goal is to spread awareness and make research accessible for everyone. When I finally received my diagnosis, I spent a lot of time here learning about little things I could do for myself to manage my symptoms. Now I use mobility aids and am in physical therapy, and my symptoms are much more managed than before.

Because fibromyalgia is such a disregarded disability, so are our foundations. The NFA is currently asking for donations, either direct monetary donations or through buying their merchandise in the online shop.

If you would like to learn more about this organization or access their information guides, you can click here to visit the site.

[therobotmonster]

Why the Murder-Bear Restaurant Keeps Re-Opening

A speculative Fic.

"Are you concussed?"

Rich looked up from his laptop. "Not that I'm aware."

"Forty-five million!" Stan huffed. "I go to a conference for one weekend and you invest us forty-five million into a murdered kid restaurant!!?"

"No, I sank forty-five million into THE murdered kid restaurant."

"That is not the point and you know it. To pay out the company has to exist. Half the locations are very famously burned to the ground."

"It's called venture capital not the sure thing express." Rich was smirking the way he did when he was going to be unbearably right. "Only this time it might well be the latter."

"What do you mean? It's a D-list nostalgia brand at best, without the murders and kidnappings and ghosts that are probably gas leaks driving night watchmen to acts of arson."

"No, you've got it all wrong. It's not a restaurant and its not an IP brand. Those are the loss leaders." Rich turned the laptop around. On the screen was a diagram of a robotic skeleton inside a vague mascot-character shape. "It's the most advanced robotics research lab in the United States, and all of it directed to one goal."

"Ooo! I know this one!" Now it was Stan's turn to be smug. "Pulverizing little Billy and Suzie between hydraulic jaws! No, wait, don't tell me-"

"Very mat-"

"-brand new innovations in reducing the size of the workforce. Literally. By having them compacted by a jukebox that has grown-ass-man-crushing-strength for some reason."

"That's the point. Why give the robot band the ability to walk around? Why make them strong enough to do more than lift a prop guitar?"

"Man's hubris?"

"No. I've looked over the patents, the whole sales document bundle... they were beta testing having them work as wait staff. They could recognize and converse with customers, heck, if these documents are even mostly exaggerated they were halfway to getting them to cook the damn pizza."

"Robot labor." Stan whispered. The whole picture came into focus. "Beta tested in the most chaotic, emotionally tumultuous environment possible, with the least cooperative customer base imaginable."

"If the dancing bear can handle a six year old's birthday party, it can handle the returns desk at the Lady Foot Locker. Exactly." Rich forced a solemn expression on his face. "While the alleged tragedies around the company are crushing-"

"Phrasing"

"-saddening. It would be an even greater tragedy if that work resumed with someone other than us reaping the rewards." Rich's smile returned. "Thus my executive decision."

"If we get haunted, I'm blaming you."

--

"What do you mean the ghosts are real?"

"Yeah, of all the bullshit in the papers, that part tracks. Go figure."

"Rich, you know what I mean."

"Alright, well, apparently the previous owners' idea of a coverup was to blab everything and let the ridiculous story debunk itself." Rich was looking over reams of blueprints. Old fashioned, drawn-on-paper blueprints for machines more advanced than MIT's best efforts. "And part of the story that was true was the ghosts."

"How-" Stan paused, pushing down the first phrasing that came to mind. "-do you even know that?"

"Well, we had the tech boys build a copy of one of the robots. Same firmware, same materials, better workmanship. But the performance was never there. Beat up vintage version responds more naturally, can navigate better, is stronger."

"What, some kind of learning algowhatis?"

"No. We went through the whole inventory from all the surviving locations. Most of the robots are 'low performers', even ones that were in use longer than the ones we have here."

"Do not tell me those are the murderbots."

Stan gave a mock-sheepish shrug.

"How are they not in an evidence locker someplace?!"

"I can only assume incompetence or graft." Stan replied. "But the majority, but not all, of the robots that are high performers are from those locations."

"So your theory is that they're what, possessed?"

"Haunted, possessed, what's the difference. We know what the missing piece is."

"You son of a bitch."

"What?"

"That's why you insisted we build the new prototype store on the ruins of the old one. You didn't just build it on top of the world's only haunted murder-robot graveyard, you did it on purpose!"

"The old man didn't just invent the most advanced robot this side of Star Wars, he may have made the world's only functioning ghost trap." Stan wasn't joking. His smile wasn't the normal sarcastic one he wore day in and day out. It was a hungry smile. "So yes, for the sake of ROI, I put our new animatronic manufacturing facility and demo store on top of a valuable natural resource."

"Dead people."

"We're only 30% certain its actual souls and not some kind of psychic imprint or ectoplasmic residue."

"You made those terms up."

"Maybe, who can say? Regardless. We know our robots are missing a part, that part appears to be a ghost, whatever that means. We pack the place to the gills with robots, keep using the pure-AI versions for now, and if any units get suddenly competent we retrace its steps to find out when the blue fairy does her thing."

"And then what? We harvest the souls of the dead and make them work at the mall?"

"Hey, idle souls crush night watchmen like juice boxes. It's way better if they've got gainful employment rather than just, wandering around murdering people."

"Gainful employment? We're going to pay the robots?"

"Oh no, I mean gainful for us. And the best part, is we're the only ones who will know the secret sauce. Let our patents expire, everyone else's robots will be glorified speak-and-spells."

"While ours will be animated by grandpa's wayward essence?"

"Hey, if he didn't want to work at the Panda Express he should have gone to heaven."

[raeofalbion]

Fic Ask Meme:

Because it’s one of my go to favs: Shatter Albion Series.

Is there any scene that you cut from the main story that you wish you could go back to add? (Or alternatively, tell us about a cut scene that you wish you could have included)

( meme ) -- Thank you! :D <3 And thank you for reading! <3 I'm so glad you like the series.

Y'know, it's funny, cuz this is exactly why I rewrote MoI back in...my goodness, was it 2016? (Surely not that long ago??) There were just so many scenes that needed elaborating and missing bits that needed to be added and it felt necessary to do that before continuing on with the series.

But yes! There are still some I cut and either would like to add back in or might repurpose for later. (Sorry, this is long.)

From MoI:

The first time Victoria and Reaver sleep together. I've tried to write this so many times and it just...doesn't ever work out the way I'm picturing it. There's like...half a dozen-ish cut drafts in a document somewhere. Maybe one day I'll make it work.

The original, hand-written draft of MoI included a scene with Logan questioning Ben after Victoria disappears from Reaver's house, suspicious about why his sister's suddenly not writing him. In the end, it was cut cuz it didn't really make sense to have him go to Ben to find out if Victoria had somehow contacted him, but I still kinda like the idea.

Continuing along the Victoria-running-away track: there's a couple little outlines somewhere for a follow up to the scene where she decides to leave, showing how she got out of Reaver's house. One of them involved her actually shooting Reaver with his own gun; the other involved Reaver essentially stalking her through the house, not interacting or trying to stop her but watching her all the while. In the end, I couldn't make up my mind and I felt like nothing I wrote there would be 100% satisfying to readers, so I chose to scrap both ideas. Not sure if that was the right decision, tbh.

There was a scene before the wedding with Walter and Jasper playing cards in the original draft. Tonally, it didn't work, but I still like it.

There was a scene where Reaver sort of...playfully faux-crowned Victoria in the castle? He's being an ass and very sarcastic about it, and Victoria hates the entire thing, but it was supposed to lead to them having semi-public sex. ...which is also the reason it got cut. What smut I'd written was just...not good. And I never really had the will (no pun intended) to rewrite it, so I scrapped it.

An early on scene where Reaver and Victoria get into a proper row after she walks in on him with one of his...uh...friends. I actually had to check and make sure I didn't add this one back in and I'm not sure why I didn't. Reaver yelling at her about them "pretending to play house" and about how he was never going to choose Victoria above his own interests would've been very 👀👀👀 given how things turn out.

Not something I actually cut, but, if I were to do another rewrite, I'd like to add some more Logan scenes, just for the tragedy angle.

From DoV:

Cut one of the mystery dreams (well, I guess now that we're near the end of Blackout I can just say it: one of the dreams she shares with Scythe, where he's trying to contact her) cuz it was too repetitive.

A couple tiny (very tiny!) scenes with Faraday. Just chatting with him. In hindsight, they were unnecessary to cut.

I've talked about this one before, but the original scene where Victoria and Reaver talk about their relationship was cut and rewritten. Originally, Reaver was going to confess his feelings for her there. But it didn't fee organic and didn't really work and it kinda just pissed off Victoria worse. So instead the scene is -gestures to the story- but the line about the singing fish is as close to confessing as Reaver can get himself at that point.

From Blackout:

Technically the entire first draft was cut because my pc ate it, so I'm sure there's a lot of things on there I would like to add back in. T-T

Cut some flashbacks with the Crawler just for length, nothing really plot relevant, though. (I may come to regret this.)

Also cut some really stupid jokes of Reaver's. (I do not regret this.)

Cut a lot of political stuff that will affect the next story, and I...have begun to suspect this will come to bite me in the ass because a couple things were much more relevant than I thought they'd be. :S SO. I don't know what I'll do about that yet.

The next chapter has a rather large chunk from it that was cut and is in the process of being rewritten. Basically: Reaver and Victoria being horny now that they're reunited. It doesn't fit, tonally or pacing-wise, but I am a little sad y'all won't get to read Scythe interrupting them and Reaver complaining under his breath about not getting off. Maybe I'll turn it into a oneshot.

+ Bonus!

Technically there's an entire story I've cut from Shattered Albion (set between DoV and Blackout) about Reaver and Faraday investigating one of the DLCs together. I would really like to add it, cuz I think it would set up some things for the final book and I think it's fun, but I'm not sure if anyone actually would want to read it.

[greyias]

Still poking my way very slowly through Act 1 of BG3 with my half-elf pally girl, Aravyn, and just had the best series of quests/encounters that hit me a little in the feels.

So, long long ago, when WotC was starting to play test 5e, I started to attend some D&D Encounter sessions at a local comic/game shop, where we'd use some random pre-rolled character sheets to play. And I got handed the following:

This randomized Paladin who, for some reason, was also a wandering minstrel. I got to play her for all of one session, and unfortunately never was able to attend any more sessions (for reasons). Yet this yodeling Paladin has lived rent-free in my head for years, but had never found a group to play with in the years following.

So when I realized that I might be able to bring a version of her to life in BG3, I leapt on the chance and gave her the Entertainer background, and despaired a little that I couldn't multiclass her into Bard in Explorer Mode (although there is a mod for that).

I found a lute on the beach, played it very badly in camp and got yelled at by Lae'zel for it. And then, I wandered a little bit outside of the Druid's camp, to find a Tiefling bard singing so badly a bunch of squirrels were wailing with despair.

Having failed so spectacularly in serenading the camp, it would have been smart for poor Aravyn to just talk her way through this encounter. But here she was, being offered a lute and a chance to inspire someone with music.

And she knocked it out of the park -- being gifted the lute of the bard's deceased lover mentor as thanks for helping her break out of writer's block. (I mean, I get it. I feel that pain Alfira)

Mood™

Right afterwards, because I refuse to take a long rest while still full up on spell slots, I kept the party exploring, and encountered the harpy ambush at the beach. And we died. A lot. Especially in a frontal assault. So finally as a last ditch effort before having to put off saving the tiny child being lured in as a harpy snack for a better leveled party, I just had Aravyn sneak up behind and yeet herself from the harpy nest straight at the beasty ladies on the rock where they were hiding.

As you do.

Anyway, Shadowheart joined her, because what else should a healer do but leap into the fray and harm's way? (there was no way this was going to work, so what did I have to lose but my pride, I told myself) And as both holy ladies started swinging away wildly while the warlock and wizard looked on from above, I found myself wishing I really had some levels in bard in order to use countersong* to nullify the crooning harpy below slowly luring a little tiefling child to his doom.

After exhausting all actions and bonus actions, and since I had Lihala's lute already equipped with nothing else to do in between rounds I was like "...fuck it, we rock", and started blasting a song.

My Paladin, apparently, while fighting a bunch of harpies.

And I don't know if it was just a quirk of the dice rolls, but it worked. On his next round, the tiefling child immediately was able to break free of the song, which was the first time that had happened in all five tries and started running the fuck away. And I was like "...wait what?" and so after kicking ass on the next round, played again. And he was able to resist again and kept running further away while the harpies were distracted tearing the party to pieces.

No one in the party got charmed while Aravyn was playing her heart out, and by guzzling a lot of healing potions, they were able to just manage to squeak out a win. Bloodied and burning through all of their spell slots, they were victorious.

Uh, so yeah. Apparently I unintentionally recreated the end of season 4 of Stranger Things (with less tragedy!), and saved a little kid with the power of rock and roll while using the lute of slain bard. And damn, if that's not a true D&D experience I don't know what is. So I think it's safe to say that Larian has been able to somewhat recapture some of that lightning in a bottle feeling of playing a tabletop RPG in this game.

(even if that was all luck of dice rolls and playing the lute did nothing, I'm headcanoning Ari was channeling Lihala's spirit, because that's a far better story)

[ungrateful-cyborg-moved]

10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags

Basic rules: choose 10 fandoms that you are part of/support, and choose a favorite character from each of those. Then, tag ten folks!

Tagged by: @miqojak! Ty! It didn't even take me half a year to get around it this time XD

In no particular order, except for the first one ever since I'm 16. Also finding 10 fandoms is kinda hard because I'm def not that active, or even a passive participant, in so many fandoms so you'll get a glimpse of my younger self instead :'D

And long post ahead so thank you in advance if you've taken the time to go through this list!

Kanon, from Saint Seiya

Look, this is the blorbo and if you see similarities between his backstory and Kazan's, no you don't. Mentioning either him or the manga is enough to get my friends to sigh and groan as they await the inevitable gushing/rant that'll follow (which reminds me that I haven't, actually, gushed about him or ranted about the manga in quite a while now). Which is to say, I love lonely sad villains/antiheroes and if you've ever seen me mentioning the forbidden blorbo, now you know who I'm talking about.

Emet-Selch, from FFXIV

At this point I feel like I should mention that I do not stand in favor of manipulating or killing people as a form of therapy :'D

A bit more seriously though, I think he's the first character I felt so viscerally about in the game? Like I never agreed with his views but going through ShB I really hoped we'd managed to bring him to our side. My tragedy-loving ass won't complain about how ShB ended for him, mind you, but still.

Honorable mention for Thancred too, whom I feel more and more attached to as times passes, and also Y'shtola but in her case it's perhaps more the fact that she's, in terms of behavior, very much My Type.

Madi, from Black Sails

There are many great characters in that TV show and if you haven't seen it, I can only recommend it to you. But really, Madi is my favourite of the lot and definitely the inspiration for Inge if I had to pick one.

Between her cleverness, her dignity, her integrity, her charisma, her dedication to her people and her cause and her curiosity about others, what's not to love about her?

Varric Tethras, from Dragon Age 2 / DA:I

I was hesitating between Isabela and Cullen, but then I remembered the Best Companion Ever and how could I not put Hawke's most loyal friend on the list? I love him, love his loyalty, how he stays compassionate despite all he goes through, his sense of humor, his honesty... Only wish we could have romanced him in DA:I, but on the other end I like his story with Bianca so I'm not too sad about not being able to.

Byakuya Kuchiki, from Bleach

In the spirit of this dash game I'll respect the rules and make a choice, but if I'd filled this list any other day, I might have put Grimmjow there instead :'D

Anyway. I love a stubborn man with a stick up his ass and too many (conflicting) principles despite a rebellious heart who needs to be almost killed to start thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, he could have handle a Situation better.

And I love this character development past that point.

He wasn't an inspiration for Wolfe, but they're very much alike in several aspect. Byakuya is, however, a lot better at keeping a straight face.

Lois Habiba, from Torchwood S3

I haven't watched Torchwood in a long time but I remember her. In fact I remember Lois better than I remember some of the main cast.

She was just a normal young woman who had managed to get a really good job and risked everything to do the right thing and idk. She was just a really solid character that deserved better recognition.

Dean Winchester. Do I need to say from where?

Look, I loved all five seasons of Supernatural. A shame they didn't add more later!

And with Dean it's a bit personal so I'm not gonna go deep in details about it, but let's just say that there's quite a bit of me that I recognized in him and I just want to give that man a hug.

Donna Noble, from Doctor Who

I'm not up to date with the new seasons/episodes so no spoilers please!

But hm, yeah. I think what I loved the most about how Russel T. Davies was directing the show was how real his everyday people turned companion felt, and while I preferred Rose when I was younger, the older I get, the more appreciation I have for Donna.

She's just so full of life and character, so brave and so unapologetic about being herself despite her self-esteem issues, but I think what I love above all else about her is how she always acted as an equal to the Doctor.

I'm gonna repeat myself but really, the older I get, the more I love her. And I really need to catch up :'D

Cain Hargreaves, from the Cain saga

Honestly I don't expect anyone to remember this manga XD It's an old one I read when I was a teenager and one of the few I kept despite not having re-read it in 10+ years. I don't remember that much from it but I do remember the ending quite well.

Anyways. Cain's a young earl with a tragic past, a strong sense of justice, more money than common sense, a love for poisons and a fear of commitment. Truly, what could go wrong with such a character?

Also:

"Have I ever failed a promise to you? - Yes, all the time." after his sister made him swear he'd come back to her alive is just perfect.

Spike, from BtVS

He's devoted, he's cruel, he's romantic, he's brave, he's pathetic, he's capable of taking responsibility for his actions... I love a multifaceted character and I've had a soft spot for Spike ever since I've watched the series for the first time.

I rewatched it not too long ago and it didn't age that well imo, or maybe I'm just more critical than I used to be, but I still think Spike is an awesome character and I love that it was in spite of Whedon's intentions for him.

---

And I believe that brings me at 10 characters for 10 fandoms! It strangely feels more like undressing in front of strangers than actually undressing in front of strangers :'D So obviously I'm gonna tag a few people to do it too:

@under-the-blood-moonlight @merlwybs-wife @voidtekarc @alannah-corvaine @ashenbun @zhauric @biff-adventurer @tea-and-conspiracy and @confusedtia! And frankly anyone else who wants to!

[nomi--sunrider]

⭐ for the fic writer's ask!

Ah, a behind the scenes for Then, Now, and Always. Let's see....

Oh I know! I'll unpack the scene that got me the most negative feedback I've ever received on anything I've written: The Duel from Chapter 25: Battle of the Goddesses.

(I haven't talked about Then, Now, and Always in like a month, so be prepared for an essay.)

I thought up the silent Tally/enraged Alder epic duel very early on in the drafting process. Literally, it's in the first, very very rough draft in my docs, which is about 15 pages long and half-summary, half- little bites of scenes.

The reason I wanted them to have The Duel is twofold:

It's genuinely the most tragic thing I could think of for two people who love(d) each other. Y'know? Like Anakin and Obi-Wan on Mustafar. Badass scene, but you're fully aware of the tragedy all the way through. It's supposed to hurt that these two women who once loved each other are now on opposite sides of a war and forced to do battle.

2. I thought it would be fucking awesome.

Part of the inspiration of Then, Now, and Always was this scene:

Tally Craven's hottest scene in the whole show imo. What was I gonna do, give her an enhanced witch baton and not let her use it to full effect? And who else was she going to fight who mattered? It had to be Alder.

Also, Alder's headbutt was dumb. You can quote me on that.

Look, if nothing else, Alder and Tally fight in the actual show. And that fight is important, it does have narrative and thematic relevance, and there is a damn good reason it happened. Unfortunately, that fight is also LAME. Seriously, it is the lamest thing ever! And not even because Tally gets her ass kicked in seconds! The scene is shot cleverly, with perspective shifts and quick camera cuts to veil the fact that the actors and stunt doubles aren't really doing that much. It's the only time we see an actual scourge battle that might have given some indication as to why it's the weapon of choice for witches and why witches make such deadly soldiers. And then it's five seconds long and nothing special.

So I wanted to write a cool fight scene for the fic. Not a spar, by the way. Sparring scenes are popular in fiction, but I personally think they're pointless (unless the author is trying to accomplish something unserious). Literally, a spar is a fake fight. A fascimile. It isn't real. I wanted to write something very, very real. And that led to a lot of the narrative wrapping around making Battle of the Goddesses possible.

Someone on Discord posted during a TNAA discussion "Oh Alder would never hurt Tally." The thing about that is a.) canonically, she can and she has, and b.) For Then, Now, and Always, that's actually not an unreasonable assertion to make. Alder is carrying one hell of a torch. Therefore, I had to make Alder angry enough to actually fight Tally with no holds barred and every intention of beating her.

And that ended up making Chapter 24: Judgment, what it is. In that same very early doc, I had this Petra line.

Literally, that's all. I had no idea where I'd put it or for what reason, but it felt important. I knew about the Ozarks twist from the start, so I knew that someone had to call out Alder for her judgment eventually. Then I realized that, since my plan when I started drafting TNAA was to fix everything, including mandatory freaking conscription of a persecuted minority group, I had the perfect, perfect opportunity to make Alder vicious enough to kill.

Tally's trying dissolve the Salem Accords. That was her endgame the whole time.

Now Alder's angry enough to fight to the death and make the duel truly epic, Tally's goal is much broader, the fic has the chance to move into deeply philosophical, big-picture territory, and I get a pair of dope-ass chapters out of it. Eight birds, one stone. I was so happy.

Zooming back out, I think part of the reason a lot of folks were upset by Battle of the Goddesses pertains to my theory that fanfiction is like ice cream. Easy to eat, requires no effort, delicious and instantly satisfying. The main romantic pairing isn't supposed to fight each other to the literal death, even if it's fucking awesome and deeply symbolic. Duels/battles/wars between two love interests are common fare in sci-fi/fantasy because of their intense thematic and narrative heft, but not in fanfic. That's serving roasted sweet potatoes and kale at an ice cream parlor. It's too much for a lot of readers.

Finally, I think a lot of readers were upset about Alder losing the fight. Here's the thing:

It's not interesting if she wins.

Just like it's not interesting if Goliath beats David or if Jamal doesn't win the jackpot in Slumdog Millionaire. It's a story. The underdog has to win against all odds by their cleverness and mettle. Yes, I too, am sad that Sarah Alder's trauma was never addressed. She's a traumatized, damaged victim of the narrative and her story is a tragedy, start to finish. I think a big draw of the Talder ship is that it allows us to protect and humanize Alder in a way the show never did. Few people want to see her be the victim of even more pain in fic.

This doesn't change the fact that General Sarah Alder is brutal, unyielding, and violent. She's a three hundred year old soldier and her entire existence is war. She is not a good person. To defang her without earning it would be OOC. Trauma doesn't make good people. Healing makes good people. And there's no indication in canon that Sarah Alder has healed in any way, shape, or form.

If you've read this all the way til the end, that's very kind of you. Thanks for letting me ramble!

Why her character arc in Then, Now, and Always really doesn't start until Arc III lmao. When Alder is on her knees, defeated and disgraced, but instead of Petra and Tally going for the kill like they did in the show, they both offer a hand to help her back up. Alder heals because she's given the chance to do so by the people around her. Because I chose to not, y'know, immediately kill her off after tearing her from her pedestal. Genuinely, I have lost so much sleep over all of the amazing, transformative character work the show had in its damn lap and chose to ignore.

[error404vnotfound]

in which i rank the whole seliriaverse

as of July 5th 2024

how to read this tier list:

books are indeed in order (which was very hard)

the symbols next to the book titles indicate whether they have gone up, down or stayed in their rank in respect of this prediction tier i made (and/or previous opinion i had of those books years ago)

i did in fact change the tiers up a bit because i had like half of this in F tier and not all bad books are made equally

kind of a long post

sueños de piedra tier

this tier is for sueños de piedra and sueños de piedra only because it's one of my favorite books of all time and it would be unfair to rank the rest with it in mind

sueños de piedra (marabilia #1)

573 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2017 / read: too many times to be counted

i've read this book like 100 times and i'll read it again. it made me cry so much but i felt so good after too. this book never fails to warm my heart <3

A tier

10/10 screaming crying throwing up i love these books

-- ladrones de libertad (marabilia #3)

638 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 4 times

i cried and that's an instant fave. i loved this book so much in the past (and i still do) but not with the same intensity and i think that's okay

-- jaulas de seda (marabilia #4)

637 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 3 times

another past fave of mine. i just love fausto and ivy so much. it did suffer from the *knowing* about reinos de cristal. they are so cute tho. if experienced on a vacuum it belongs here, if not on the tier below

B tier

10/10 too i do love these books too but not as much as the A tier ones

-- encuentros (secretos de la luna llena #2)

737 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 3 times

the drama. the angst. the mess. i love it. i did skim through the povs of characters im not too invested in (because this book is. so long man) but eirene and seaben just carried i love them so much. and chryses

↓ alianzas (secretos de la luna llena #1)

653 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 4 times

the plot of this book is very fucked up in the best way possible. eirene and seaben my beloveds (i did give it a slightly lower rating than previously but i guess that just happens sometimes)

el sol y la mentira (olympus #2)

592 pages / ya retelling-sci-fi (ish)

first time reading (2023)

my expectations for this book 🤝 what it delivered. very fun 10/10 reading experience

-- despedidas (secretos de la luna llena #3)

572 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 3 times

a good ending for the journey :] there's no eirene and seaben drama so i enjoyed it less and i do not care for the fay and svent plot. also chryses' death is mean

-- alma y los siete monstruos

228 pages / middle grade about mental health

first read 2021 / read: 2 times

such a good book. would recommend it to everyone. i did tear up a bit too

C tier

this was a pleasant reading experience :]

imperio

672 pages / ya distopia

first read 2024

started strong but then became too formulaic in a way that detracted from the experience. overall i did enjoy it. it was fun and dynamic and the characters were all interesting and fun to read. the ending did disappoint me. the thg x unwind at home

personally disliked that a couple that broke up came back together but i can get over that. i can't get over not committing to the bit tho and for that the book is just okay and not great

-- antihéroes

520 pages / ya urban fantasy

first read: 2018 / read: 2 times

what it says on the can (tier description). it's just an okay book. very easy to read too which looking around is a big ass thing on its favor. it's funny, and i love yeray. im not as attached to the rest of the cast (and i do despise alicia), but it's a fun, easy read

-- rojo y oro

446 pages / ya fantasy retelling

first read 2016 / read: 2 times

the only good thing i can say about this book is that i wasn't bored so... i feel that speaks for itself. an okay tragedy. interesting enough

D tier

what if i told you that i got bored 💀

↓ títeres de la magia (marabilia #2)

521 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2018 / read: 3 times

i don't care about the characters and i was very bored. can't in good conscience put it over books i've enjoyed the whole of just because i got my arthmael and lynne fix

↓ reinos de cristal (marabilia #5)

688 pages / ya fantasy

first read 2019 / read: 2 times

respectfully your honor: idgaf about 60% of the plots. also the whole fausto thing. the first time i read this i was devastated about it but now (4 years later) i can see that his death is just incredibly dumb and stupid and i hate it and it also lowkey ruins jaulas de seda. like títeres i did struggle with having it this low because lynne and arthmael are on it but even my love for them can't fix this mess

↓ el orgullo del dragón (el dragón y el unicornio #1)

562 pages / ya steampunk (ish)

first read 2019 / read: 2.5 times

what can i say except: i was very bored. technically it's an extremely well crafted and well written book and it does an excellent work of laying the groundwork for part 2. but again, it was VERY boring

E tier

these books did not achieve what they set out to do

la furia y el laberinto (olympus #3)

538 pages / ya retelling-sci-fi (ish)

first time reading (2023)

the main character was unlikable (in a bad way) and suffered from the authors being cowards and not making her unhinged. the adventures they go on are boring and overall pointless. at the top of this tier because i came up with a genius ending that made it worth the pain (the canon ending was fun too)

pétalos de papel

544 pages / new adult contemporary fantasy romance

first time reading (2024)

the Point of this book is to make you attached to the main couple so they can then pull a memory loss ending with an epilogue. needless to say, they failed the first main point. i did not buy their relationship, i did not care whether they ended up together or not, or if they did if she forgot him. it also had very dumb plot points that tried to be dramatic but sounded stupid

i did chuckle at a couple of jokes

el eco del destino (timekeeper #1)

477 pages / ya fantasy

first time reading (2024)

boring. so much yapping in the internal monologue of the characters that got repetitive real fast. all the characters felt like the same and they faced problems in the most stupid way possible (for the plot)

the world building (the point of the book) was all over the place and not great at all. it was an amalgamation of stuff with no connecting tissue tying it all together, and even the things that were connected made no fucking sense

seremos el huracán

526 pages / ya contemporary retelling (ish)

first time reading (2024)

go girl give us nothing. fail book because its mediocrity was bad. bland. didn't achieve either of the two things it should have: make the reader believe the synergy of the band members, and their romances. characters only interact on page with their love interest, which impedes them forming bonds with the rest of the group, and then this interactions are so surface level and one dimensional that you don't see why they then say they are in love with each other

it also left the grief plot completely underutilized (which was honestly just an excuse to have a cross dressing character in the boyband)

la venganza del unicornio (el dragón y el unicornio #2)

664 pages / ya steampunk (ish)

first time reading (2023)

this one did achieve what it set up to do but it did it in a way that ruined the whole ass book when it could have been a C tier, even B tier. the ending destroyed all the groundwork the first book painstakingly set. it went from a grounded, tonally serious story to something completely out of the ballpark. the tonal shift was so jarring it gave me whiplash. and for that, it's the lowest one in this tier

not a fail book because the first 400 or so pages were very enjoyable

F tier

devastating: your favorite authors published a fail book

anne sin filtros

384 pages / ya contemporary retelling (ish)

first time reading (2023)

i get so mad when thinking about this book. i could look past the poor writing but they went and ran over anne and diana's beautiful friendship to turn it into them being horny for each other and that's it and im. so tired of the allos

la flor y la muerte (olympus #1)

632 pages / ya retelling-sci-fi (ish)

first time reading (2023)

i was so bored it was insane. even if it's actually shorter than other books higher in here it felt longer. also, it's a bad book on a technical level, not for the writing style but for its structure. time skip(s) killed this book. there's also 0 chemistry in between characters (even those we have to believe are in love)

i have a whole ass rant on this on the tag

soulcial

506 pages / ya contemporary romance

first time reading (2023)

im so brave for not dnfing this book. did i skip most of the scenes? yes. didn't affect my understanding of the plot whatsoever. read like a bad hallmark movie. like. not even a fun one or one you can hate watch (read). just. bad. i dont like saying this but it's actual garbage. the plot is braindead. it's not even well written

and so we reach the end of the tierlist and the end of the reading marathon

if you read through all that thank you. hope you enjoyed my journey (and my pain) <3

[hotpinkstaples]

only in my old age does it hit how awful of a decision it was for angel to not only transplant the fang gang into a timeline where connor lives, but erase their memories too! it’s like the irreparable damage in season four was merely amplified. of COURSE angel doesn’t feel like his struggle’s getting him any closer to shanshu because he keeps not DEALING with this shit. he’s outchea changing timelines, wiping memories, rewinding days, etc. of COURSE he still harbors resentment against wesley bc the motherfucker’s repressed his feelings of both love and hatred towards him because how DARE one of his closest male friends try to STEAL his child and raise him on his own iNSTEAD OF WITH ANGEL HIMSELF???

and not to mention gunn/fred! they raised that boy for months! they played mom and dad while angel was hallucinating at the bottom of the ocean and wesley was enjoying his dark’ness with lilah AND tryna bring angel back to the surface, and lorne??? lorne clocked that boy’s crazy! angel, in his inability to deal with his grief and loss, stripped his team of their OWN ability to deal with their grief and loss. because THEY deserved to grieve too! wesley deserved to grieve his ousting from the group AND THE FACT THAT HIS PROPHECY FUCKING CAME TRUE. fred should have been able to grieve the crumbling of her relationship with gunn, her shame of not thinking she’s ‘champion’ enough, and the decisions she made in the throes of the literal apocalypse and the revelation that one of her key abusers was a trusted confidant. gunn should have been able to grieve the death of the son that was not his but the one he DID look after, and the relationship he ended after years of feeling helpless himself with no one caring for his needs and declining mental health.

connor was a bitch. his entire existence outside of when he was a baby was the bane of everyone’s existence, BUT HE WAS THEIR CHILD. THEY ALL TOOK TURNS RAISING HIM AND LOVING HIM. they should have been able to grieve not only his death but all the what-have-could-haves!

the tragedy of ats is that the writing was so fucking bad, it inadvertently made angel, the hero, the BIGGEST clown in the show by never allowing him to truly and honestly deal with his pain, and by extension, his team’s pain. the memory wipe was paint on rotting plaster. it wasn’t even half the fix-it angel thought it was, and all it did was diminish the suffering the fang gang had to go thru. it’s always angelus this, angelus this, wolfram and hart this wolfram and hart that, it’s never ANGEL, PLEASE DEAL. and it’s fucking tragic, because after eight seasons of content, he DID deserve to have some respite, to deal with his pain, and finally be put to rest instead of selfishly taking from his friends what only a god could do.

and angel was never a god, and yet he had access to god’s powers. instead of letting this man fucking DEAL with his shit with his friends’ support, joss instead flipped the story on its ass. deaths and unreconciled losses and relationships everywhere, until angel was left to what? fight eternally?

lmao the man never actually left hell, and his poor friends got dragged into it with him. this is why we never need a buffyverse reboot ever again. imagine giving one of the central characters from your original show a whole ass show of his own, and not even writing a conclusion for him. all these years and for what? so he could hurt lorne, watch the others die, and become the very bastard buffy called him out to be thru andrew? it’s grimdark shit from hell and i hope we never have to see a reboot or continuation of it bc IF we did, and angel was STILL doing his clown shit, then buffy WOULD be the one to send his ass to hell again bc all the story would have proved is that you can put a soul in a man, but you can’t make him like it. and how’s THAT for a metaphor? forget trying to atone for your fucking sins, cuz your ass is grass and goin straight back to hell regardless 🤦🏽‍♀️

angel im so sorry joss that dumb fuck did this to you. you were a whiny cunt, but you were loved, and i have every faith that you finally made it out of this hell 😭

[redeliminator]

*heavy sigh* I could wear this my greatest tragedy is that I had been listening to like half of the bands e&d listened to before I even learnt what columbine was. I have a kmfdm tshirt and I always make sure to wear something colorful with it and NOT wear my sunglasses at the same time, god forbid a trenchcoat, even though I accepted the fact that I will never beat the tcc allegations, too many things about me scream tcc even when they're not true lmao

mfs had a solid taste in music and I hate them for that, like what do you mean "americana" by the offspring is forever tainted for me and I will never listen to it the same way I did when I was 15 because it played on some random ass home video involving a school shooter

what do you mean atari teenage riot is tainted too, a random fucking techno band my friend randomly saw in concert 11 years ago and thought it'd be funny to check how much of hardcore screeching noises I can take but then it turned out atr actually kinda slapped and I loved it

it's tough out here man

front & back

[unproduciblesmackdown]

hmm here’s me talking about su sort of lmao like i said i’m not here to be particularly scentamentle?? just say funney stories....and some opinions.....it’s really been a hot minute and i haven’t been making Long text posts about things so i can throw one out there even if it’s got no thesis statement

also like i said i just so happened to like, actually watch the first ep on actual tv when it actually premiered....all i super remember knowing about it beforehand was like “oh rebecca sugar getting her own series right on” and i was gonna check it out on that alone and then also i remember before it debuted there was an article about it in the wapo in the sort of “local”-ish section b/c it was like. hey this is based in uh yknow the dmv....delmarva area.....this whole Region.....and i (from nova and in nova at that time, and flipping thru the print wapo every day) was like haha. neat. also god damn it was 2013, hell of a year. i can tell you little about it b/c it was so crappy i just like did not bother much with things like “distinct memories” lmfao. great to have like, a weekly thing towards the end of that hot mess (november??? or smthing??) back when....god........it aired weekly.........anyways yeah i was pleasantly surprised from the start i don’t Get when people are like “can’t watch this in order :/ the first few eps don’t sell it well” like okay speak for yourself god dman....more on that later i’m sure lmfao. hot takes

my brother started watching it too just cuz he’s game for shit that way and i was keeping up with it. like i remember i thought cheeseburger backpack was extra fun and i think i showed him a rerun and i remember he thought it was funny lol the Raft Gag......and when i was watching tiger millionaire i kept For Real Laughing and he came over like what is going on.....and i think he was signed on from there........again pretty fun for it to be this weekly thing. also maybe i’m not here to be Sentamental but i was also like “oh no that Spoke to my feelings unexpected :(” during tiger millionaire when amethyst was all “you can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage” and “i only feel how i wanna feel” like guess who was in the early stages of “my self esteem is so crappy it’s starting to circle around into [trying to increase self esteem]”.........like i said hell of a time. though then that’d be 2014 by then i think?? still a hell of a time

started to get “i think i will draw the same character one million times” about it at some point in 2014 too lmfao......every instance of [me drawing the same shit one million times], which is the only way i ever draw anything, then like, benefits whatever i draw later cuz like. sure get some practice out of it. and even though like, it wasn’t quite as huge an Internet Thing as it was gonna get once i started to draw shit, it was already like, classic-me Kinda Niche to be like “hey gang who is going ham about the bored dumbass teens”....not so niche that there weren’t other people going “yeah i am” at any given time tho. and then we put our hands in the middle and go Yeah!! and jump up hsm style. it was also a great time for something Fun and (easier than marble hornets lol) to draw b/c. it simply was a good time for it.....struggling to draw shit back then even more than is like, usual. oh and also i forget but i had sort of Withdrawn from the mh fanbase b/c it got this whole influx of randos after fjsfdking the Video Game we all know the one and i was like. i am gonna.....sidle over here. nobody Likes to be in a fandom actually lmfao. and i mean even while su was getting to be A Whole Thing i was like. bro i am over here in the Donuts section and it is a little quieter and i use the tag sometimes but i’m all set, thanks. still the least Niche niche i’ve been in probably lmfao....see: the fact that probably still way most of my followers are here from su times even tho idk who’s even active still

also had a high time making some great Long Text Posts. i kind of always fail 2 grasp that even as much as my drawings that stuff leads to me actually getting to interact with people, b/c like, those text posts have me actually saying Words in them, which helps lmfao..........i think it’s like, these posts are probably Not That Fun for most people, but then for the people who Are like “oh sweet this is something that i actually want,” that’s obviously a helpful way to find a kindred spirit lmao.....like hey cool you already know i can’t shut up and am opinionated and obviously a lil much? fantastic let’s do this. plus idk it’s fun to Not Shut Up Actually. like, not the biggest deal. ppl can just Scroll Past. or not

speaking of “getting practice Not Shutting Up and Drawing Shit”.......hilarious when in late 2018 i find myself like. oh so you’re telling me this excellent character who is a self-sabotaging struggling-to-know-how-to-cope-with-shit-and-connect-with-others insecure af Teen is not appreciated / ignored / deemed Awful (and then ignored) by the majority of the fanbase?????? hahaha you don’t say....but No Problem. let me just talk about how this person has Complexity actually and is a lot more sympathetic than not and i hate all of you omg like do we have to do all of this ourselves lmfao........guess so, Fine

what am i talking about funny stories who is this funny to lmfao. okay no but okayyy what an experience when the island adventure preview came out and for like the next 4 days i did not experience depression lmao........i Jumped on the opportunity b/c it was like, early fall i wanna say??? i think sept?? 2014 and i was kinda mulling over going to gmx (which was this convention the Marble Hornets gang kept getting invited to & i’d been 2 twice b4 but missed the previous yr coz it was 2013 and i was way not thriving) and yeah jumped on the “depression / (as much) anxiety who???” superpower to Ask if it was cool if i went to a friend’s wedding in georgia for a weekend. there was no friend’s wedding in georgia. and then i went to gmx AND. ironically (not really im sure. idk what irony means and idc) gmx weekend ended up being the same weekend island adventure actually aired and when i left that morning (gmx being in nashville) my lil bro (getting up for school) was like GO GO and i actually made it in time to catch it in the hotel room but. they didn’t have the channel despite it being listed on the channel guide. i about flipped lmfao but i did see it later that weekend and flipped again. gmx was an a-okay time as well lmao that was the last time i made it

they may have never sold a licensed Lars S1 Green/Purple Snake Tee but look when i have this green racerback with a neat snake print & this necklace of purple quartz crystals and also when i was at gmx i bought this necklace with one (non purple, non actual crystals but plastic shaped like it / glossed) pendant In The Spirit Of It All and it gets compliments. anyways the point is. indirectly representing

speaking of crystals = lars i’d just like to reiterate that i’m always right. like sure i was like “look i don’t know how lars could have Crystal Magic in him but something is up with the fact he’s = pink magic flowers with crystals inside them Means Something.” i think it’s reasonable to Not have predicted he dies and gets revived w/ crystal magic that’s in him now. but that’s still a Win for realizing somethings up....tfw as early as like s2 times i’d be like “well the donuts gotta get involved in the center of adventure at Some point and also i Know it is important that steven is just lars’s rly annoying little brother and y/n do you think lars would die to protect him i think he would...” like. i didn’t wanna be That right :/

tfw me and my brother were watching rose’s scabbard while my mom was napping it out in the armchair and like silently Sharing A Look at the whole “she was beautiful” thing like. lol harold

i still don’t know how much of a Thing(tm) magfest is but as far as i can figure it it’s No Comic Con (like, thank god :| ) but still kind of a thing. anyways i learned of it cuz i saw there was gonna be a couple su panel thingies & i looked it up & we were less than an hour away and so it was like midnight but i ask my brother like hey wanna swing by this thing on this one friday. and he was like Sure. so i made it happen and he was 17 so we had to drag our dad to the bank to Notarize a form that he was allowed to be there accompanied by me. it was a big place and it also took us a while to find Registration or whatever and when we tried getting sandwiches later it cost like $7 each go figure. anyways but we were just there for the one Event & there was a room like filled with arcade games and a bunch of other consoles (also Retro though. like old computers n stuff) and they had Galaga, thank fucking god. we 2 playered that shit and wandered around and also 2 playered a game called toobin, which was funny. real gamers know. 

when we were in the (pretty long) Line to get into the Panel, i actually like. spotted a then-mutual who i (was pretty sure i) recognized from her occasional selfie lol and who i guess had travelled all the way from the west coast for the weekend. when we were actually Seated she happened to be a couple rows back and both of us on the end of the aisle and i asked my brother if he could read her nametag (to verify lol) and i bopped over to have the cringe and fail exchange of “hey do you have a Tumblr” and then i was like “haha i’m milo i’m ummmwine” and she got up to hug me and then i had to scamper back to my seat cuz shit was starting lol

like my life was not changed by this event but we had fun and. the Hilarious story is that it was also partially a Q&A and i had a Q and my brother encouraged me by again whispering “go go” as soon as the first syllable was spoken implying Line up For Questions.....i was in like, the last idk, haaalf dozen or so ppl who made it to the mic? and look i knew i was gonna be asking a niche question that like 3 other people of the hundreds in the room would care about but So What. deal with it gang, let’s have some Variety. but i was still nervous. and when i’m nervous, i a) Have A Script and b) get even chattier. and right after the person Right In Front Of Me got their answer, i guess it was noticed that it was getting down to the wire so they were like “haha okay lightning round :)” and i was like NO.......GOD..........lmfao like too late im sorry i Can’t make it lightning round. i was muy anxious.....just that, again, hundreds of people there, i have the floor, nobody’s gonna Like my quastion......and they didn’t know the answer (which i figured was v possible lol) so i was like oh no sklfjd hope this entire room doesn’t hate me. i mean of course i didn’t care if they did too much but, Nerves....also im valid, but were the like half dozen people who asked prior to me about shit that would CLEARLY be too spoilery to answer valid????? no lmfao. cmon. that’s what’s Really cringe

well here we ffw a bit b/c Mid To Late 2015 is certainly a time for me and it doesn’t really make for an interesting story so just to tldr it lmao like, got some beautiful moral support from someone as i was makin a Lifestyle Change lol and continued to get beautiful moral support from that same person and i continue to benefit from it....You know who you are!!!! tyvvm....and it occurred to me that the reason i am where i physically am is via someone i met thru su-posting.......which is true of the You Know who you are person too, which is why i brought it up lmao

uhh god not as many Stories after that lol.....def got to engage in “i’m ___ i’m gonna [draw the same character i always draw] so i won’t be so ___” during interesting times lol. love that for me

tbh the uh. Wanted arc was truly one of the best Serial Arcs, just dramatic & solid af and also it’s lars time and for a second i go “god well at least maybe now ppl will acknowledge lars is a gr8 character” and then a second later i go “Oh No they’ll only say he’s a good character *Now*” and that’s exactly what happened lmfao but well we still got as much lars fanart as we ever got outside that couple weeks aftermath... l o l . . . i had to wait One Zillion Years for my little brother to catch up to this b/c. he was watching via hulu i think where like, a full season would come out a good while after the finale. seriously i think it took him almost 2 years. im like dammit lmfao this is What Matters dfslk....fond memories when hulu was free / no login req’d / shit would be available like the day after airing

uhhhHHH crazy how this show muscled through the weird scheduling change where it was like “no weekly eps Only Erratic Hiatuses”......ppl were so foolishly Into the first “5 eps in a row” release and i was like “no i don’t like this” and then a year later i was like “you see. You See.” rip

i think we can even ffw to sutm at that point lol....im like im in this for lars okay lmfao kinda Shrugggg @ things by this point lol like finale shminale. where’s he at. and i really wasn’t paying a world of attention to like, prior-to-release lore n announcements so i was just plunged into this chaos of like sorry???? excuse me?? of all the people in the world sarah stiles?????? lfsdj like noooo don’t show me these tweets lmfao......truly it’s fine i’m being Hilarious but it’s also very real that like, when i see things like “showtime(tm)” or “SHO” or “billions content” i’m just doused with Dread b/c i hate this series lmao i swear to christ. but it’s really Fine lmfao like. i was kinda “eh :/” to “yea this is alright” about the rest of it but spinel was The Highlight lmfao and having $50 to go ham on her animation was great but really the voice acting Made It.....like the entire takeaways was uh the other friends sequence and fuckin uhh this part. fuck it up ms. stiles........hit it out of the park..........cain was the first funny bitch and spinel was the second. that thought just came to me and i will not elaborate. call that a revelation. oh and also it was a relief cuz i was like “i s2g if this Antagonist is like, aquamarine-style annoying af....i will die” but No. spinel is annoying af in another way which is her rights and i don’t want to die about it lmfao. she’s good.......i don’t even resent the “how come whenever some rando shows up ready to literally kill everyone for no good reason, all of you are ready to be like ‘wow an icon’ and we can’t have 10% of that energy for the teen who’s kinda bitchy b/c he’s annoyed by life and crap???” thing b/c i mean, she had her whole Arc all at once and also is good enough for it i think. the nadir was when the one rando shows up for like One episode like “i Don’t want to kill everyone :3 syke >:)” and for some reason people were like “omg iconic. call them on their ‘don’t kill everyone’ bullshit” like lol i hate you guys

well i like lars’s [last outfit we see him in] and i feel like it only backs up the bi agenda. another epic gamer moment had been when it became a Popular Hc that lars is trans b/c he is lmao. and everyone was all “why is everyone sayign this why would you want him to be trans he sucks” like get good grandma!!!!!!!! it’s too late. well that’s the end of my post. me in 2014 being like “wow way to have something to keep up with b/c now i have to outlive it to get all the dnads content i guess” and here i am. but it’s almost April 2020 so. haha 

hmm what’s a less ominous ending. oh shit another thing that was funny is i was like So about these Skull Plugs featured in this semi-official drawing of lars once and then horror club came out (fun b/c i like horror) and had the skull plugs for Real & they were glow in the dark. that was a big day for me even seeing the promos lmfao. except then i guess it was foreshadowing, so again i end this with Death. don’t we all

wait no lsfdjs What tf was matthew moy talking about “i like your hair.” dude dropping an i-guess cut line on us lmfao. alright alright im done

[henry-and-the-seven-lords]

Hey Meg remember in obey me they did that play in one of the lessons. (you know the one where there's princess Diablo)

if they get to do an other play, what would the Bro's recommend doing?

I actually just got to that lesson! It's also funny that you ask this. Back in high school I would go to the local play competition with my school (never won, but I did get to direct one year). I am also in love with plays... even more than musicals. I think they are way more immersive than a musical or movie could ever be.

I picked most of these off the top of my head, or by looking through plays that other schools in my area did for the competition. I can't say that I have seen them all but the summaries sounded pretty good.

Well... that's enough of my ramblings so let's go!

Warnings: Asmo's mentions NSFW stuff

Navigation List

The Plays Each of the Brothers Would Pick

💙 Lucifer -

Hamlet by Shakespeare

Summary: A tragedy with ghosts, death, betrayal, and sword fights!

People have often called this one of the best plays. Of course he would pick this!

Also it is serious, has a good amount of drama, eloquent. It matches him perfectly.

He definitely wants to be Hamlet and have Diavolo be his uncle.

💛 Mammon -

A Tale of Two Spectators by Peter Manos

Summary: Two people watching their spouses have affairs together and they fall in love.

There are only 2 people in the cast. Guess who it would be?

Him and MC.

He wants his time to shine with them.

🧡 Leviathan -

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Rober Louis Stevenson

Summary: A man drinks a potion that splits his personality into good and evil and they share the same body.

He wany to be Dr. Jekyll.

He likes the dichotomy of good and evil. It reminds him of himself when he plays games vs. When he is shy.

(I could also see him doing some cyberpunk or anime rendition of a classic play like Romeo and Juliet)

💚 Satan -

An Evening with Edgar Allan Poe by Robert Mason

Summary: A retelling of 5 of Egar Allen Poe's best works. (Telltale heart, cask of amontiallado, etc.)

He likes classic literature, what can he say.

Also, Poe's literature can let his suppressed rage through in insanity! :D

(Could also see him picking one of Shakespeare's comedies to piss off Lucifer)

💖 Asmodeus -

Orlando by Sarah Ruhl

Summary: A young boy begins a 5 century journey where they discover themselves.

Orlando is quite promiscuous... so it matches with Asmo!

There are also a lot of elaborate costume changes which he would love.

And MC can be one of his many lovers ;)

❤ Beelzebub -

The Girl Who Swallowed a Cactus by Eric Coble

Summary: A girl and her friends find themselves in a desert and use their imagination to talk about how people affect the environment.

He liked the title because he has had that problem before.

But once he actually reads it, he like the adventure that the main characters have.

💜 Belphegor -

A Midsummer's Night Dream by Shakespeare

Summary: A fairy dabbles in fixing human affairs and mixes up two pairs of lovers.

He picked this play for 2 reasons and 2 reasons only.

As one of the lovers he can sleep for half of the play next to MC.

Lucifer said it was the stupidest play he has ever read.

Doesn't care which pair of lovers he is, he just thinks Asmo should be the ass.

[timelostcarrion]

The part where I kill Liam :)))))))))

No doubt it was a drag to get into any remote fight with the known siblings that were connected to Liam, but little do they know it was going to end in tragedy - from one thing to another to get contact and location of their brothers whereabouts... What turned into what was meant to be a blessing to see him alive and well, it was when he cried wolf on them, instead of making his very own assault. False words and outright accusations played into his downright misuse of trust, he knew that his own siblings would never hurt him. But what of the old wounds that scarred, through and through from his chest and exit to his back, that weren’t even their doing. But that’s all he needed to get his point across, things only served to get out of hand when Liam’s lover stepped in after the vocal display... They already lost the moment Fang got involved, knowing, despite that Knox would only act on his brotherly bond to keep the most vulnerable Lex, safe, ultimately became his weakness.

The onyx Serpentine wouldn’t have given so much, knowing what Fang meant to Liam - why would he want him to hate him more, more so if he hurt his partner? Even Lex felt the same, but all the lively glimmer in his gentle eyes were only stained horror and fear - he posed no help. He could only feel like a burden to Knox in the end, and Knox could only feel like a failed brother, like he had for a very long time. All it took was Liam’s direction, and he knew what was going to hurt Knox more than Fang’s blows. The fall of the youngest sibling, who didn’t stand a chance - refusing to do anything but be a dummy to the fatal image, glued to the ground, and inch of his life.

Murmurs were deaths door in the air, Fang was practically his weakness and he utterly refused to give up his vessel dispersion - one thing only Knox knew how to do. But that also made him vulnerable, but he’d only know the worse. In his true body, he’d have none risk to hurt his siblings by accident.

“Spare him, please... just let him go, I don’t care what happens to me, I can’t affor...d to keep... keep losing my siblings, not to anyone, ever again,” For the first time ever, Knox rang with a deep distress, as pathetic as it seemed for him - he had no pride. No ego over his siblings and he would beg to his heart content for them; he shambled along to Lex’s side, little knowing it was far too late.

“That was far easier than I thought. Lex, anyways. Knox’s was always a pain in the ass.” Liam half mouthed in the back, away from the ruckus he wasn’t getting involved in.

@ignitedwill​

[v-e-l-v-e-t-g-o-l-d-m-i-n-e]

I was tagged by @marley-manson​ to do this little fanfiction tropes tier game a few days ago and I finally had time to sit down and do it - even if it took me a while because I’m indecisive and I kept changing positions lmao. If I think too hard I may ending up just changing it again

overall my classification was something like

S - favorite things I look for in fic, can make me click right way

A - tropes I strong like when done right

B - tropes I like when done right but actually hate when it’s badly written (ot even half-assed)

C - tropes I’m mostly neutral/indifferent about. Wouldn’t say I actually dislike all of these but It has to be really very well written for me to like. D - tropes I usually dislike, some of them I would say I hate lmao. I’m a never-say-never kind of gal but it really has to be exceptionally well written for me to like these ones

*

I liked this game because it made me think of the things I usually crave in fics in a way I probably hadn’t before lmao. Like I realized that my love for dark fics came before I started to really get into Hannibal but Hannigram solidified my absolute love for this trope (since any canon or slight-canon-diverge Hannibal fic is usually by default a dark fic lmao). Mutual pinning, slow burn, lots of angst are major favorites as well.

And things like ABO or crossovers... I actually love crossovers of some things but it’s SO rare to find good crossover fics, nearly impossible. Back in my first DS9 watch I think I found some good ones in the old Trek archive but it’s not a common thing. And ABO... I have read some fics in this setting that were very good but I like it when it challenges the setting in some day. I also like when the author does an alpha/alpha or omega/omega pairing for the main ship in a way to explore that universe’s prejudices but again, it’s a rare thing and mostly ABO are just kind of terrible or horny. Horny and short can be good sometimes but I can’t excuse the terrible ones lmao

It depends on the pairing, but I’m known for enjoying unhappy endings and major character death fics. I like happy endings too, but some fics with unhappy endings hit just the right way, you know? Same for major character death, with the warning that I NEED to know i’m about to go head first into a tragedy. I really need the major character death warning, if the author puts this in the story out of nowhere it’s their prerogative but it can ruin the whole story for me permanently.

I don’t actually HATE college/high school/coffee shop and similar mundane AUs but they tend to blend together into one same boring thing for me and it’s rare to find one that stands out. Not impossible ofc - I remember reading a human florist/tattoo shop A/C fic that was really good because it explored Aziraphale’s self internalized homophobia in a way I really liked but this is not a thing it usually occurs to me.

I hate fics with pregnancy (other reason why it's rare for me to find ABO fics I like lmao), love triangles are often a source of frustration and miscommunication when overly done can make me give up on a fic. I put crack fic in this category of stuff I usually dislike, but I would also like to say that I actually love Crack Treated Seriously very much. But straight up crack is very rarely good lmao

This got very long! I’m not tagging people because I don’t know which mutuals and followers are very into reading fic like me, but if you want to do this game feel free to consider yourself tagged, it’s really a lot of fun!

Link to do the tier game:

https://tiermaker.com/create/fan-fiction-tropes-302768

[vaguely-concerned]

X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time 

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable  

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still  

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f  just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it 

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure   

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik 

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)  

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol) 

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol) 

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain  

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you? 

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???) 

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’  

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is 

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)  

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh 

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive 

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES 

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself  

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters 

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh 

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott 

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail 

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster 

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic  

 - ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!! 

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj 

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’ 

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men 

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!  

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha) 

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing 

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)  

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give 

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’ 

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

-          remy                           rogue

                              🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates 

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma 

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww 

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak  

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture 

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence 

baby u r my

 ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it) 

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him  

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what 

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself 

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this 

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day 

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol 

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same 

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess 

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents) 

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau 

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3 

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back 

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha  

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa 

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do 

birds of a feather motherfucker  

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet) 

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u  

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha) 

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay  

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it 

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go” 

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most. 

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.  

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage) 

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s  p r e t t y  solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)     

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)   

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D: 

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!! 

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???  

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way 

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all) 

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts 

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable 

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated 

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol) 

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells  

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(