#and commitment to Peace in a world that otherwise lacks it

[orcelito]

Tales of Arise has consumed my life

I am already in love with this man

[grimm-writings]

moments

…ft! touden party, falin x gn! reader, izutsumi & reader

…tags! tooth-rotting fluff, drabbles

…wc! 70 ; 87 ; 95 ; 92 ; 108; 106 = 558

…notes! i feel like a negligent parent with my lack of works lately. here’s something small.

Laios enjoys napping with you under the shade of a tree.  In this moment, there’s nothing stopping you and him from understanding one another completely.  With a gentle breeze flowing, Laios finds his hands resting on your back as you turn to collapse on top of him, earning a small wheeze from him.  But he laughs, and he holds you.  It's time for rest.  Forget your responsibilities for a while.

Marcille will come to you every time she finishes a book in a daze.  She recalls the ending to you, as she usually does when she has finished a few chapters for the past few days.  However, in her post-book stupor, she finds herself more prone to rambling and such.  Still, she isn’t anxious about ‘talking too much’ or otherwise.  The way you engage with her and help ground her, especially if an ending is particularly stressful, is her favourite routine.  She shan’t trade it for anything.

Chilchuck gets busy on workdays.  With his shop and representing his fellow half-foots, his hands can get very full, very quickly.  This is why he’s thankful for your presence, welcoming him home with open arms, a tasty meal, and a hot bath prepared just for him.  You get to watch as the furrow in his brow relaxes in the midst of you.  When all is said and done, when you lay in bed together, he finds respite in this moment.  That at his age is a rare feat.  You’re really something to behold, aren’t you?

Senshi finds the time spent after a hearty meal to be some of the most tender.  Standing beside one another, Senshi plunging cutlery into suddy water only to hand it to you to dry, is like something out of a dream.  Momentarily, not only is he doing what he loves, but he’s doing it with someone he loves too.  Someone he might consider spending the rest of his days like this, washing the dishes.  He’s always sure to thank you for helping, his beard barely disguising the wide smile on his face.

Izutsumi is hardly one for staying relaxed in a perfect moment, but she still lets her guard down around you no matter how many times she tries to catch herself.  It’s a slow process.  First slouches against your arm, before turning to nuzzle into it, and then she rests her head on your shoulder and finds herself curling into you entirely.  It’s hard not to pet and scratch her, but don’t be surprised when she finally realises what she’s doing and pulls away entirely, embarrassed and acting like you’re the problem.  It’s but a moment, though a peaceful one she wouldn’t mind falling into the trap of again.

Falin sees her whole world in moments.  Little treasures to be looked back on with a tenderness and fullness unlike any other.  That’s why, with you, she holds all the time you spend together close to her heart.  From the first time your fingers brushed against one another to a late night conversation, Falin remembers each and every one, all committed to memory.  That way, when you see each other again, Falin is flooded with a feeling of bliss.  The thoughts and yearn for your smile directed at her is a moment in itself.  When you wear that glowing expression, how could she ask for more?

[divineei]

TOOTM  one. to keep a promise

! ko kyungjun x fem!reader

a/n. this shit took so long omfg. whoever said writing was easy can suck my nonexistent left nutsack.

"i don't get why this is even a discussion."

"oh, cmon! you don't think the conflict around it is interesting?"

"whether its interesting or not doesn't matter because this shouldn't be an existing argument. if your partner or someone you love commits a murder and there's serious evidence pointing back to them, how could you just act like it's not even there?"

"dude, you're missing the point entirely. the question is not about what you would do in that situation, it's about what you should believe."

"that's so stupid. the only factor you should need is evidence. it doesn't matter if the accused is a long time friend, your partner, or even your child. sure, your judgment on their character is still relevant, but if their fingerprints were found at the crime scene there's just no way you can objectively ignore their culpability. at that point, you should either believe your partner is guilty or at best remain undecided."

"in that case, would you say that following the evidence is morally required?"

"absolutely."

"you don't think there might be other ethical factors to consider?"

"for example?"

"even though the evidence is strong, there's still a chance they might not be guilty. imagine how it would feel like to be innocent and have no one believe you, not even your own partner! by not supporting them you run the risk of seriously hurting them on a crucial time of need. and consider what this lack of trust would do to your relationship. could you really go on after seriously suspecting–and believing–they're a murderer?"

"are you saying you'd rather ignore the crimes of your partner, even when the truth is staring you in the face, just for the sake of love?"

outside of the ethical dilemma resonating through yoon yn's headphones, the girl shifted around on her seat. her limbs felt numb from remaining unmoving for so long and, even though the only companion by her side was her bag, the compact space paid no mercy on her back. 

after finding a comfortable position she set her eyes on the view outside the window. sunlight hued over the fields of grass and the occasional farm, making the rural landscape imitate a painting in motion shaped by the most gentle brush strokes. the scene felt so engrossingly peaceful, she could almost feel the gale caressing her features despite the glass separating her from the world. 

yn couldn't help but thank the scene–and the long lasting battery of her headphones–for giving her something to focus on, seeing as the ride to the resort her class was directed towards had resulted to be such an otherwise tiresome one. 

"YES!"

an obnoxious voice popped yn's bubble in spite of the maximum volume she'd set for her podcast. distracted by the sound she turned to glance at the very back of the bus, where the students grouped up at the last row of leathered seats frowned in unison at heo yool–who mocked them with the cheekiest grin one could imagine. judging by their sullen looks, yn figured the citizens had lost yet another round of mafia, a game they'd been playing for who knows how long.

she recalled when her classmates had urged her to join the game the moment she stepped into the bus, which she declined, prioritizing her tranquility over the headache she knew they'd give her, yet promising she'd join in the next time. 

after figuring out the source of that ruckus yn set her focus back on her podcast, purposely missing the eyes of the guy she'd been avoiding to the best of her abilities for days now.

just a few rows behind her, kyung jun's eyes never left yn as she disappeared between the sea of heads flooding the bus, and his scheme of intentionally leaving the space by his side unoccupied for her came to mind, especially remembering how his grand plan backfired when that fucking basketball-star-wannabe gave up his seat for her.

that annoying prick just couldn't get the memmo, couldn't he? to him, hyun ho had always been a nuisance; a pest that treaded on yn's heels at every chance he got–even when she used to hang onto the feared delinquent's arm.

"they're so loud," kyung jun muttered. he'd been trying to settle down the bittersweet echoes of his mind since the start of that damned school trip, in vain, since the blaring voices behind him made the flare that was his temper even harder to quell than any of those memories.

luckily, he needn't lift a single finger to make the commotion stop, and he was able to get some peace of mind thanks to his lackeys acting as spokesmen for his aggravation. 

on the other side of the large vehicle, kim so mi sneakily took pictures of the class president. 

"hey look, isn't he gorgeous?" the vice president called, showing what was sure to be one of her new favorite pictures to her friends seated behind: park ji soo, cha yoo joon and park woo ram. "doesn't this belong in a magazine? how can he look so gorgeous?" so mi repeated with a dreamy sigh, looking at her screen.

"i will tell jun hee tomorrow that you took a photo of him," woo ram threatened with a playful smile.

"oh yeah? what if i tell yn about all the videos you have?" so mi replied, pointing at the camera that always hanged around the guy's neck. 

"please do, maybe i'll finally seduce her."

"oh my god," exclaimed yoo joon, "you are so delusional."

"why?" he lifted one of his hands in response to the very serious offense.

"dude, you barely talk to her."

"woo ram, you have the same chances of getting with yn as me and yoo joon of breaking up." ji soo stated.

the guy in mention glanced at his girlfriend, seemingly unaware of the joke. "that's zero, right?" question to which ji soo only rolled her eyes.

"i don't care what you say," woo ram brushed off. "i know she's the love of my life."

"ko kyung jun!" called out so mi.

like a tiny animal trying to save itself from a threatening predator, woo ram jumped to the empty seat by his side, hiding from the vandal's peripheral as much as possible while the rest of his companions laughed.

"fuck, kim so mi!" he cried out, "you trying to get me killed?"

"relax, he's not even looking," revealed the vice president with a cheeky smile.

as if they'd rehearsed it, the four students turned around to catch ko kyung jun's eyes still set on yoon yn, and by the looks of it, he didn't have any plans to cease his staring.

"not seeing them together is kinda weird," yoo joon pointed out.

"does anyone know why they broke up?" so mi asked to her peers, who all looked at each other expecting an answer none of them had.

"whatever," dismissed ji soo, "yn is better off without him anyway."

"yeah, she's been around us a lot more since then." agreed so mi.

"i bet kyung jun barely let her talk to us."

"right? he looks like the controlling type."

"i would never treat her like that." acknowledged woo ram, making his way back into the conversation only to get beaten back down by the three others.

the time inside the bus seemed to work differently than the rest of the world. minutes and hours mixed up in a disorienting spectacle that at least seemed to follow the sun setting over the horizon. 

when they finally arrived to the resort, the only source of light were the numerous lamps adorning the streets and the inviting shine of the building before them.

with the bus door finally opened, the students of class 2-3 thronged the exit with overwhelming excitement. the trip had been longer that the teacher had promised and everyone was ready to get comfortable on their temporary rooms. of course, that included yn, who unfortunately had to wait for the rest of her classmates to take their suitcases out of the loaded trunk since her luggage ended up dropping to the back during the ride.

after everyone collected their belongings, the girl was able to retrieve her case at last. it was somewhat heavy but the tiny wheels at the bottom made it easier for her to slide the valise out of the bus' compartment. taking out the retractable handle, yn rolled her suitcase for at most six steps before someone else got ahold of it.

"what are you doing?" she questioned, but the guy simply walked away while pulling her luggage along and up the stairs.

"kyung jun." 

at the sound of his name, he stopped. walking towards him, yn stood right between the entrance and the suitcase-stealer. 

"what do you think? i'm helping you."

"i can do it myself." yn chided, staring him down harshly.

kyung jun had received many looks like that one throughout his life. from parents, teachers, students... they were all identical, ranging from disappointment to resentment and back. he was used to it. it was his day to day, how could he not be? yet he never imagined the same eyes that used to watch him with so much endearment would scrutinize him so cruelly. 

"you used to love when i carried your stuff." he reminded her, scanning yn's face for a spec of something–anything–he hoped could save him from the pain her gaze struck him with.

the girl let out an exasperated sigh. why couldn't he leave her be? why was it that, no matter how much she wanted to distance herself, he always found a way to squeeze back into her life? 

yn grabbed the handle of her suitcase and pulled. she wanted to leave, to get away from his side and free herself of his piercing eyes. unfortunately his strength surpassed hers, and she was forced to stay as he kept his grip.

"can you let go?" 

"yn," he asked but the girl just focused on the luggage he kept hostage. "can we talk?"

"about what?" she sneered, speaking with as much disdain her troubled feelings allowed.

"you know what." 

once again, she sighed. his antics were so infuriating; always pushing down the barrier she tried to put between the two. 

"not now."

"then when?" he instantly snapped back, then took a deep breath to stop his grating tone. "you always say that but then you ignore me for days."

"look, i don't have time for this." for the second time, she attempted to retrieve her case. "i promised i'd help with the preparations for the class picture, so–"

"oh, c'mon," and still, he pulled back. "since when do you care about this school-spirit-bullshit?"

he was right, yn never involved herself with whatever activities the school came up with. time and time again, they'd skipped so many classes as to not get involved with all those school projects they both deemed as meaningless, deciding to spend their mornings strolling around parks and nearby shopping districts instead. but that wasn't an option anymore, and yn needed some way to blurr the images that kept torturing her with the agonizing nostalgia of a broken relationship.

"promise me we'll talk. tonight." 

"sure," for the third time, she attempted to take back her luggage. but his answer was the same.

"no, yn. promise me."

with every fiber of her being, yn summoned the last shreds of her patience and met his gaze. his eyes held her captive, beseeching her in silence to unravel the troubles he was willing to share with no one but her, and the hypnotic pull of his gaze weakened her willpower to resist.

"i promise." she reluctantly gave in.

as kyung jun finally released the carry-on, yn didn't even bat an eye before snatching it up and walking away. however, as she made her way into the resort center, she couldn't help but feel frustrated with herself for falling for his tricks. all the effort she had put into avoiding him seemed to have gone down the drain so quickly, leaving her feeling defeated.

not wanting kyung jun to catch up to her, yn rushed inside the building. 

warm lights illuminated the vast entrance, composed by a lounge area with leathered sofas that accentuated the beige walls with brighter colors and a water dispenser conveniently placed next to the cushioned seats. at the center, a beautiful statue engulfed by faint blue lighting towered over everything below. the perfectly crafted marble giant was impossible to miss, looking like a still guardian watching over the resort's grounds. yet that didn't stop yn from overlooking the sign with the qr code needed for the resort's wifi and facility app.

following the arrows pointing out the way towards the elevator, yn got in and pressed the button labeled dormitories. the heavy doors slid and shut before the steel cage trembled, signaling its vertical movement. suddenly, the girl felt the air tighten inside her chest, twisting her lungs in a way that seemed to strangle them. oxygen got caught up in her throat as images of cables snapping and an imminent fall to her death plagued her mind. in, out, in, out. yn's breath increased as rapidly as tidal waves when the lights malfunctioned and in between flickers, she saw a dark figure out of the corner of her eye. 

the moment she snapped her head back to take a look, a faint bell announced the door sliding open. taking in the air as steadily as she could, yn grabbed her suitcase and escaped the cage of death. frightened and disoriented, she questioned if what just concurred has been a quick fever dream or reality. and if it wasn't, why did her mind torture her like that? as far as she knew, never in her life had she experienced something that'd cause this crippling fear of high spaces. so why...?

she shook her head and brushed off the uncanny feeling, dismissing it as a consequence from the tiresome trip and forcing herself to focus on finding the room she shared with ahn na hee and kim so mi, who'd invited her with overwhelming coercion. compared to the elevator ride, figuring out her way to her dormitory was a piece of cake. the girl left her stuff in an empty corner and took the stairs down towards the gymnasium. there, instead of getting scolded by the teacher like she expected, what greeted her was a plethora of different activities performed by her classmates. 

in the middle of the room, a group of students flawlessly danced to the rhythm of the songs reverberating from a large speaker, followed by lee joo young and choi mi na silently fighting for the spotlight, and being interrupted by ko kyung jun, who apparently had nothing better to do than to mess with their practice by turning off the music while his two loyal followers, shin seung bin and kim jin ha, played a very dedicated match of ping-pong.

on opposite corners of the gym, jin da bum, choi joo won, lee yoon seo and oh jung won were consecutively separated in two pairs, all conversing with their respective best friends. up on the second floor, cha yoo joon and park ji soo, who never seemed to stay away from each other, watched from above. on the stage, band members im eun chan, nam yeon woo and baek eun ha dabbled with their instruments to make sure everything was perfectly in tune. lastly, jang hyun ho and kim dong hyun busied themselves by organizing all the sport equipment laying around.

"yoon yn!" called kim jun hee from a large set of tables surrounded by the other members of the student council which, of course, included kim so mi and her friend ahn na hee.

with no sight of their teacher around yn walked stress-free to said table, although not before catching park woo ram pointing his camera right at her, which made the guy hastily turning to film someone else. 

"you're here," the class president stated. "we thought you got lost or something."

"sorry, i got caught up with something." yn replied. she didn't really care about these preparations, but she did promise to help, and yn wasn't the type to use that word lightly.

"yeah! i was going to text you but we've been so busy preparing everything." so mi ranted, sprinkling salt into the wound.

"i can see that," yn commented, deciding to ignore so mi's backhanded scolding.

"what happened, though? did you really get lost?" na hee asked. 

"no, i got stopped by kyung jun."

"oh, right. he was a bit late too now that I think about it."

"is that jackass bothering you again?" hyun ho, who'd come closer to the table just as yn approached, joined in and put a hand on her shoulder.

"no," yes. "everything's fine."

truth be told, yn would rather drop dead than having to deal with kyung jun. however, she knew that telling her classmates about it wouldn't lead to a positive outcome. after all, the only person who had the courage to confront the delinquent was hyun ho, and, given their history, yn was certain his involvement would only make matters worse.

in another area of the bustling gym, the noticeable trio of vandals were causing a ruckus in the corner. as they tossed a basketball back and forth, jin ha hurled the ball at kyung jun, who was too busy gawking at yn's arrival to notice. the ball smacked him right in the chest–a painful reminder of how his focus seemed to always follow after her. 

"shit, my bad!" jin ha exclaimed.

their leader squatted to grab the ball at his feet and got back up only for his gaze to fix back towards the girl who constantly distracted him and, of-fucking-course, hyun ho standing right next to her, as always. the sight made his blood boil and his knuckles turn white as he clenched the basketball in his hands, while his rapid heartbeats deafened any coherent thought telling him to settle down.

seeing this, jin ha and seung bin looked at each other before the latter sighed and came closer to his friend. throwing one arm around his shoulders, he spoke:

"why don't we go outside, man? get your head out the gutter."

"yeah," kyung jun agreed, seeing seung bin was clearly trying his best to support him. perhaps he was right, some air would probably do him good right now. "let's go." was the last thing he said before disappearing through the gymnasium's exit, just in time to miss the teacher entering from the other side.

after informing the class presidents about a problem regarding the other bus full of students set to accompany them on this field trip, he left, clearly in a panic because of the unexpected turn of events.

in the meantime, most of class 2-3 remained in the gymnasium. no more than a few minutes went by before the dancing group, who now were fixing their hair and makeup while sitting on the floor, called yn over. ever since they found out about her break up, the girls had been offered her to go out again and again, an opportunity they took to invite her to join their club with not-so-subtle comments. 

"oh yn, you should hang out with us more!" were the kind of utterances she always received from the class' cheerleaders.

mi na had insisted on brushing yn's hair. taking the empty stop in front of her classmate, she felt the bristles effortlessly flowing through the roots of her hair to its ends. the conversation was an amicable one. the girls often taking their time to butter up yn and saying how cool it'd be to have her in their club–until the self proclaimed hairdresser decided to dive into something she'd been curious about.

"hey yn."

"yeah?" she answered, eyes closed while enjoying the soothing sensation of the hairbrush.

"why did you and kyung jun brake up?"

mi na found herself at a loss for words when she faced the disapproving and critical stares of the entire group. why would you ask that? their glares yelled in silence, making her feel like she just made a terrible mistake.

"that's between him and i, mi na." yn abruptly ended the change of topic.

why did they break up? that's a question she'd been asked countless times ever since her classmates took note of their separation. a query yn remembered avoiding like a plague, long before this trip. only this time, a strange, guttural discomfort buried into every corner of her brain as she noticed a spec of something missing, unable to put together if the same evasion came as a reflex or because she couldn't answer it herself.

"right," mi na's shame, reinforced by the brutal glares of the other girls, took over her face as her cheeks flushed. "sorry."

luckily for her, just as her face morphed into a cherry tomato, a painful ringing roared through the speakers before the absence of light engulfed the high schoolers in deep darkness.

"c'mon! what is this?" one said.

"what's going on?" asked another.

"hey, turn the lights on!" resonated a voice from above.

a loud clang similar to a metal pipe hitting a hard surface echoed over the four walls, followed by the piercing shrieks of several people. helping themselves with the flashlights provided by their phones, the students revealed a white figure in the middle of the room.

"quit joking around." before any more screeches could be heard, hyun ho launched a basketball to the sheeted ghost, making it fall to the ground just as pathetically as your average cartoon villain.

with the precision of a well-rehearsed act, the room was suddenly lit up, revealing the mischievous culprit behind the childish prank. and lo and behold, it was none other than heo yool.

the collection of complaints from everybody present synced in a perfect expression of annoyance and the occasional insult. 

"guys, listen carefully." the class clown™ gathered his classmates' attention as he stood from the ground. "i've heard that, a long time ago, a high school girl killed herself here," he explained, playing the role of a surprisingly talented storyteller. "so there's a few things you should never do: don't look at the mirror and turn around at midnight. and if someone grabs your ankle when you're sleeping, don't look down. if you break these rules," he turned to the group of dancers. "a ghost will pop up!" dashing towards them with the form of a rogish halloween scare actor, he was met with the frightened squeals of the girls.

yn, whose interest in the paranormal had never been deep enough to scare her, grabbed mi na's hairbrush and hurled it towards heo yool. an action that encouraged the rest of the class to throw everything they had at hand, along with some despicable remarks and the teasing laugh of the insufferable rascal.

defeated by heo yool's stunts, the students decided they've had enough as one by one they exited the gym. 

"are you coming, yn?" so mi asked.

the girl nodded before answering, "i'll be there in a minute. i want to get some water first."

at the entrance, so mi and yn parted ways. she approached the water dispenser and took one of the cardboard cups provided by the machine. ever since the lights of the gymnasium had turned off, the girl noticed an unusual taste in her mouth that reminded her of her frightening fever dream at the elevator. she felt it at the back of her neck: something eerily creeping behind her at every given moment. was it possible that heo yool's story actually got under her skin? trying to brush off the uncanny sensation, yn took a sip from the refreshment in her hand.

"yn!" 

the call startled her, making the water get caught up in her throat. she coughed and patted her own chest as the liquid scraped its way down her larynx, like a tiny bug trying to escape a spider's web. once able to compose herself, yn glanced towards the voice.

"im so sorry!" joo won panicked in a stutter, "i didn't mean to do that, are you ok?"

"im fine." she wiped the water from her lips with her long sleeve. 

joo won and his companion standing behind, da bum, stared at her in silence.

"do you want anything or...?" 

a simultaneous no and a yes echoed trough the entrance, followed by a confused frown from the girl and whatever silent conversation the two guys were displaying with their eyes. 

"do you think maybe you could," joo won took his sweet time to mutter his next words, as if scared. "talk with kyung jun?"

"excuse me?"

what the fuck...? did kyung jun put them up to this?

"we just, well," the spokesman of the duo halted. "we gave some money to his friends a few days ago and we just don't want to bother them."

oh.

"so you bother me?" 

"no, no!" da bum spoke promptly and grabbed his friend's arm, pulling him along as he took a few steps to leave. "it's ok, yn. we won't bother you."

joo won released himself from da bum's grasp and walked towards yn. "please," he pleaded, holding one of her hands tightly with both of his. "he'll listen to you."

right as her heart started beating with enough sympathy to care for their situation, the front door opened. seung bin, jin ha and kyung jun walked into the building, the latter playing around with a basketball.

the three delinquents would've kept their saunter if it weren't for yn's presence, which made the group's top dog stop in his tracks. his companions did the same and all stared at the situation unfolding right in front of them. kyung jun's eyes stayed on the hands holding yn and after noticing his threatening glare, joo won leaped away from her.

"what's going on?" asked the fearful leader.

"you owe them money?" yn countered, her eyes flickering between the trio.

"what?" the blonde one laughed, brushing off the accusation. 

"they do!" joo won blamed, but instantly went back to his helpless self when met with the bullies' threatening scowls. "please, i just need it for my tuition."

the firm glare of the girl pierced through the tough act of the tamer vandal, making him drop his facade as he approached the feeble boy, closed fist in the air.

"fuck, man! we're on retreat, why are you asking us for money now?"

"yeah," seung bin joined in, defending his friend. "what are you, a loan shark? we told you we'd give you interests. give us some time, dipshit!"

kyung jun, who'd only taken the role of observer until that moment, put down the basketball he held and intervened to slap both of his lackeys' heads. "did you do sports betting again? huh?"

like scolded puppies, seung bin and jin ha faced the floor as they stepped aside.

"da bum," he called, and the guy lifted his head to stare at the bully. "did you lend them money too?"

"huh?" as kyung jun stalked closer, da bum's heart raced faster with every step. his eyes frantically scanned the room, desperately seeking any distraction from the intimidating figure slowly closing in on him. "yes. but i can wait for my money. there's no rush." with a lump in his throat, da bum braced himself for whatever was coming next.

"how much?" kyung jun's open hand grabbed the side of da bum's face, forcing the terrified boy to look right at him. "ill pay you back."

"you will?" da bum stuttered.

"of course," his grin turned into something sinister, which allowed only da bum to see because of their proximity. "in return play basketball with me, yeah?"

he faintly smacked his victim's face twice before coming up to yn. "everything's alright here, yn. see? no need for this." kyung jun reached out to hold her hand but she pulled away before any contact could be made. 

was she really so revolted by him she wouldn't even let him touch her? accepting his defeat, kyung jun hid his hands inside his jacket's pockets. 

"right," yn looked at da bum and joo won, who were currently being pushed around by the other two, before turning back to kyung jun. "in that case, i'll get going." 

"you're not coming with me?" just as yn started to walk away, his words pulled her back in.

"i'd rather not."

"are you sure?"

with a swift nod, kyung jun signaled seung bin and jin ha to go ahead and, bringing along the poor students they were about to torment, they disappeared down the hallway.

they were left alone, just like kyung jun liked it. only them, with nothing and no one around to interrupt their precious time together.

not a single second did he stop looking into her fiery eyes, which only seemed to hold a hostility that antagonized his own devoted regard.

"it's almost midnight."

both held each other's gaze, which kyung jun took as an invitation to step towards the girl. he stopped right in front of her and, unfortunately, yn's heart betrayed her mind as she internally screamed for it to cease its raising beats. 

kyung jun's hands raised to yn's face, completely forgetting her previous rejection. for a second, he thought of apologizing, since she'd made it clear time and time again how much she now despised his presence. but how could he apologize for something he was barely conscious of? he couldn't help himself, not when she was merely inches away, not with her. maybe if he insisted–if he didn't give up–she'd finally understand why staying apart was never the world's plan. 

"you promised me. remember?"

his hands were close. so close he could feel his fingertips grace her cheeks, a touch so minuscule, yet enough to make his skin crawl with anticipation. 

he was too close. 

yn stepped back just as she felt the fleeting spark. she would be dammed if she ever allowed him to touch her again, in more ways than one. or at least that's what she told herself as she fell right into another one of his tricks. kyung jun knew her well; too well for her liking. and with such measly words she found herself helplessly cornered by her own self-discipline and morals.

fucking bastard.

up in the vast dormitory area of the resort center, different groups of people were each caught up in their own conversations, without a single care in the world or the impending sinister feeling hanging over their heads like an invisible wrecking ball about to crash and destroy every single thing they ever cared for.

in her room, lee yoon seo was finally able to lose herself in her novel when her phone pinged. slightly annoyed by the distraction she took a closer look to her home screen, which displayed an app in process of downloading.

"i told you i didn't need this." she showed the screen to her roommate.

"it wasn't me." jung won answered, just as astounded.

our perspective changes and now we observe a group of various students, all gathered in one room. the class couple, the cheerleaders and members of the student council all sharing snacks and stories between them in perfect harmony until a knock interrupted. 

"come in!" allowed the vice president.

"hey guys," the door opened, reavealing hyun ho accompanied by his best friend, dong hyun, who stayed on the hallway behind him. "has anyone seen yn?"

"how come you don't know? you're always following her." mocked woo ram before taking a handful of chips from one of the various bags scattered around the room.

"you're one to talk." ji soo muttered, which provoked woo ram to throw a scrambled napkin her way.

"i'm serious." hyun ho replied, "i've tried texting her but this wifi doesn't even work."

"she told me she was going to get some water, isn't she downstairs?" just as so mi finished her sentence, one by one every phone in the room chimed.

notifications spread throughout the resort like a 14th century pandemic, resonating around every room as if imitating the never ending bells that announced the beginning of the end.

back in the gymnasium, joo won stood shaking below the basketball hoop with his friend by his side, eyes shut tight as neither dared watch the nearing hit from the ball.

"joo won, stay right there." kyung jun sneered as he prepared himself to throw. he looked up, targeting the net as he bent his knees, faked a jump, and sent the ball right into the boy's stomach.

joo won kneeled in pain, groaning and grasping his abdomen with both hands in his best attempt to soothe the aching sensation puncturing his body.

yn watched the situation unfold as she sat on the rubber gym flooring, otherwise cold if it weren't for seung bin's zip-up laid out below her. it had been kyung jun who'd instructed the blondie to give up his hoodie, since yn declined on taking his own. not a single word was heard from the girl ever since stepping into the gym as the trio took turns tormenting their two victims, until now.

"i didn't come here for this, kyung jun."

almost ten minutes had passed and she was still waiting for kyung jun to approach her and start the conversation he so adamantly pushed onto her.

"c'mon yn, let me give it one more shot."

he must've lost his fucking mind, thinking he had her wrapped around his finger to waste her time in such a way. fed up, yn got up and snatched the basketball out of his hands before throwing it away. it rolled towards jin ha, who immediately picked it up to quite the sound of the bouncing that only seemed to raise the tension of the ex-lovers' quarrel.

yn opened her mouth to give kyung jun an ultimatum, a last opportunity out of her remaining patience, when a sudden ding emitted out of her skirt's pocket. she would've payed no mind to it if it weren't for the other five identical sounds that propagated right after.

each person in the room took out their phones and faced their screens, which displayed a virtual envelope eagerly waiting to be opened. 

TAP TO VIEW YOU ROLE, read the text below.

"wasn't this the resort's app?" asked jin ha, to nobody in particular.

resort's app? 

she never knew about any app.

"mafia?" seung bin laughed from his spot at the floor and showed his screen. "what's this about?"

"what the fuck is this?" kyung jun mumbled with a frown, clearly confused.

yn brought one hand to the back of her neck as the abnormal sensation from minutes ago reappeared. goosebumps started breaking out throughout her skin and every cell on her body seemed to tremble uncontrollably while she stared at the little black mirror on her hand. which, as she would soon find out, reflected the last version of herself with any shred of purity.

🏷️ @flaneurpastel - @jwijii - @watamotee33

© to @divineei on tumblr; do not repost or steal

[bobafish]

I’m still very fascinated by the melodies of “Come to Me”, “On My Own”, and “Epilogue” in Les Mis. Especially the last lyric/tune “To love another person is to see the face of God.” Because that's exactly what I think this whole melody means, and even the entire story. I got that from this video, analysing the melodies of On My Own, and I just couldn't help but add my own thoughts!

To love another person is to see the face of God can be applied to most characters I can think of, especially the suffering ones. And it doesn't even have to be interpreted religiously! Seeing the face of God as in finding meaning and light and hope in an otherwise dark and devastating world is what these characters are going through, and they’re feeling this hope and purpose through their deep and unconditional love.

Valjean is sombre about his life even after his redemption through Bishop Myriel. He is kind to everyone and lives life with good intentions but it's incomplete. He doesn't love anyone in particular to feel truly happy, that is until he comes across Fantine and Cosette, and that’s when his life is truly given a purpose by having Cosette as his adopted daughter. Fantine, on the other hand, has an optimistic start in her story, where she’s loved and is “loved” by her friends and Tholomyes. And even when she’s driven into poverty and prostitution, it's not all for nothing, because she still has hope, she still has Cosette. And that’s when she sings “Come to Me” as she is dying.

Marius treads through the difficulties of poverty, refusing assistance from anyone, because of his love for his father. And he’s made more peaceful and joyful when he sees (not meets) Cosette (even though his actions towards her were questionable). Eponine is aware of this and finds love in him because of it. Love and hope she couldn’t truly see in her recent life of poverty, and misery. With him, even though he doesn’t do much for her, she lives in a world full of happiness that she had never known. And that’s what drives her to do all the favours for him. It’s what keeps her going, what gives her bleak life a small, but precious purpose. 

 Enjolras, though he isn’t mentioned to be going through anything bad in particular (and despite saying that his one true love is his country, not a specific person), is ultimately also driven by the love he has for his friends. They’re more than just a political group for him to lead, they are, as mentioned, his family.  Each of the amis is driven by love, for the country, for their other loved ones, and for their friends. And they were willing to march to their deaths because they had hope, they had love. And in the end, Enjolras is nailed to the wall by eight bullets that take his life away, symbolizing each one of his friends that he died for, even Grantaire. And especially Grantaire, who was struck to the floor with one bullet as he died for Enjolras. He is drowning in a life full of absinthe and nihilism and the suffocating depths of hopelessness and Enjolras is the little light on a little boat far up in the surface. He stays with Les amis for his friends, yes, but he does so most especially for Enjolras who is the only hope in his life. That’s why his life has meaning, and why he gives one to his own death too.

But what about Javert? He hadn’t loved anyone in particular, and as far as I know, he was only attached (not truly loving) to the justice system he thought was fair. And this lack of meaningful love separates him from everyone else. That’s why he’s the only one who commits suicide. The life he thought was meaningful, the purpose he thought he had was all a lie. And he couldn’t ever live with that.

“Tell Cosette I love her and I’ll see her when I wake.” Is so full of hope, the hope that these characters still hold because of the ones they love. “A world that’s full of happiness that I have never known.” Is their misery, the struggles and despair they would have in their lives if it wasn’t for their love. “To love another person is to see the face of God.” Sums it all up. And I think that’s beautiful.

[grahambaham]

Something that has always annoyed me is the habit of many fans to declare that a villain of a certain piece of media is in the right when they are most definitely not.

A few examples that I can think of right now are Thanos, Magneto and Doom. What. The. Fuck.

First of all, Viktor Von Doom barely even has anything to be right about. The guy’s goal in life is to get as powerful as possible and use that power to rule the world or whatever, prove to everyone he’s smarter than Reed Richards (he is not) and to inflate his own ego as much as is psychically possible. Though that last one could be a result of the first two I guess. He basically wants the basic ass stuff all villains want, even if it’s not what they’re focusing on specifically. There is nothing for him to even be right about, my guy. Alright so the wanting to rule the world thing isn’t for his ego, though it helps. It is because he has a fucking god complex and thinks he’s the only one who can truly do it and properly protect the Earth from any future attacks. Everything about Doom basically boils down to his ego.

Now, I understand how Megneto, otherwise known as Max Eisenhart (Erik Magnus Lehnsherr is just an alias), can be a sympathetic villain. He’s gone through a lot and when very simplified his goal seems fairly noble. Dude just wants to protect mutants, make sure they’re safe and living their best lives or whatever. The problem is that he believes mutants are the superior species and treats humans how you might treat a mosquito. He wants to eradicate them completely, and so the world would be there for mutants to rule over and live happily ever after or whatnot. Any of that sound familiar to you? Yeah… Anyway, the point is that even though we can understand how he might’ve come to the point where he’s willing to do such horrible things, that does not mean he is right at all. People seem to think that the humans deserve it for the way they’ve treated mutants, even though there are a lot of good ones who most certainly don’t do that shit AND so many of them are children too. Because you do know that Max would legit murder even the little toddlers? Not for any reason other than ‘they’re human’. So yeah, he was not in the right. He was not the good guy all along or whatever. He is a villain and a horrible person who has also been treated horribly their whole life. Those two things can both be true. Having a bad childhood does not excuse your shitty actions though.

Last and certainly least we’ve got Thanos. First of all, that fucker did not give a shit about overpopulation or whatever in the comics. Bro wanted to court Death so he went around murdering people and destroying planets to impress her. Not very noble of him, I gotta say. Now as for the MCU, his goal is in fact to kill half the universe so more people could get more resources because he’s seen the way the poor live because of that lack of food and other things essential to living. Now, instead of using that infinite fucking power that he had in his hands to create more shit to give to everyone or, I don’t know, anything else? They’re called INFINITY stones for a reason? This fucker instead decided to just commit genocide real quick. I genuinely believe the only people who think this loser was right are actual children. Twelve years old at the most. Because there is no way in holy hell that grown men and women think Thanos was good and smart to use the INFINITE POWER IN HIS HANDS to just KILL A BUNCH OF PEOPLE INSTEAD OF SAVING MORE BY JUST WISHING FOR MORE RESOURCES OR FUCKING WORLD/UNIVERSE PEACE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK? Thanos is secretly twelve years old and hasn’t gained any critical thinking skills yet, I swear to fucking god.

So yeah, I guarantee whichever villain you think was right was not in fact right, they’re simply easy to sympathise with or their cause is. But if their way of making that sympathetic idea come true is murdering/torturing/conquering etcetera, then THAT MEANS THEY AREN'T RIGHT AT FUCKING ALL.

Good night.

[rogersideup]

Nice to be kneaded

Chapter 13

Cardboard Castle

Series Masterlist

Previous part: Homecoming Next Part: Cinnamon Roll

Word count: 6,205

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions of medical equipment, loss, abuse, PTSD, anxiety and depression.

After a short overnight shift at the Bakery, you went home to change clothes then snuck your way into Steve's house for a surprise. Walking in always felt invigorating as if you were committing a crime, but his house key on your key ring told you and the cops otherwise.

You tiptoed up the stairs and slowly opened his bedroom door to find him sound asleep. The sight of him laying on his stomach with his arms above his head and his face squished against the pillow made you smile and your heart melt. The framed picture he had added of the two of you on his nightstand since he had been back in Greenwood also made your heart melt.

A peaceful, content Steve had to be one of your favorite sights in the world, but so was a happy Steve so you were more than okay with sitting next to him and rubbing the bare skin on his back to wake him up.

Your hand made its way from the center of his spine, up and across his shoulder blade, and onto his shoulder before giving him a firm squeeze and a kiss on his temple. He calmly stirred awake, and his furrowed eyebrows relaxed when the smell of your perfume resonated in his head.

"Good morning, Baby." You said before running your fingers through his hair.

A smile spread across his face before he threw one of his arms across your lap, and shoved his face into the side of your hip. There was a few additional moments of processing time before he lifted his head and squinted his eyes from the bright light shining into his room. "Hi" He mumbled.

You giggled at his lack of energy. "Hi"

"What time is it?" He asked, voice hoarse and raspy.

"7:15"

"Oh shit I slept in"

"That's a good thing, Honey." You leaned over to give him another kiss but on the cheek this time.

"How was work?" He mumbled, turning into his side to see you better.

"It was good, definitely nice to be back. The girls were asking about you, by the way." You grinned. "I know you've met some of them already, but I think they all want to meet you."

"Okay, let's go right now." He yawned before rubbing his face with his hand.

"No," You laughed. "Not right now."

“Why not?"

"Because I have some big plans for us today, that's why I came to wake you up." You explained.

"Big plans?!"

"Yeah, I was hoping you were free to hang out with me for the day."

"I can right now but I'm busy later" He told you, enjoying the head massage you were giving him.

"Oh yeah? What are you doing later?" You questioned with a smile.

"I have plans to take this really pretty girl on a date." He informed you.

"Oh really? Who?"

"You!" He enthused.

"Me?! I can't!" You denied.

"Why not?" He pouted.

"I have plans to take you on a date later!"

Steve's pout turned into a smile. "Well this is awkward then, isn't it."

"Well I asked you first"

"I think I asked you first" Steve challenged.

"I think you should surrender and just let me do what I have planned." You suggested.

"But I think you should let me do what I have planned. Do you see the issue here?"

"Okay, so what's the compromise?" You asked with a chuckle.

"Let's split the day, 50/50."

You narrowed your eyes at him. "Deal, but I get to go first because I'm already dressed."

"That's fair." He agreed, sitting up fully this time. You selfishly took a moment to appreciate his shirtless body, it never failed to captivate you. "What are we doing first?"

"We're going on a run." You smiled wide.

"A run?!? With me?!?" His eyebrows raised.

"I can explain." You started. "I was thinking last night about how you've spent so much time here learning all about what I like to do, but we haven't spent a lot of time doing things that you like to do. So I thought we could go on a run together, then after you can teach me how to paint something. It'll probably just be a brisk walk on the trail for you, and I'll definitely suck at painting but-"

"That's so sweet," Steve smiled unconsciously. His arms wrapped around you and smooshed your body against his. "and so thoughtful"

You laughed as he attacked your face with kisses. "I think I've gotten better at running since you left, so maybe it'll better than last time we went running."

"Even if you got worse and I have to carry you the whole time, I'm still going to have fun." Steve giggled.

"Great, you're very easy to entertain." You smiled.

"What can I say? I enjoy the simple things." Steve agreed.

You eventually got him out of bed and the two of you set off on a redo of the first five mile run along the trail. But this time, all of those lonely mental health runs from your time after the blip came in handy, and chasing after Steve like it was fun game for you as if you were a toddler that needed to be convinced, the five miles was over in no time and the smile never left your faces.

When the five miles was over he gave you a two handed high five way above his head that you had to jump to reach, and in retaliation you jumped onto his back and made him carry you over to the second part of your date which was in the grass field. It was just as beautiful as the picture Steve painted of it for you.

Thick blanket below the two of you, with water colors and paint brushes spewing about, you sat and painted with him for hours. He taught you simple techniques that increased the quality of your art tenfold. Together you painted flowers and plants, then with a timer going, you started two different paintings and swapped them every ten minutes, adding to each others art until the pieces were complete, then lastly two separate paintings that you kept a secret until you revealed them to each other when they were done.

You painted him a picture of the field so he could have his own version of the painting you loved so much, and he painted his absolute favorite art subject, which was you. The entirety of the time you had spent with him today, you swore he never stopped smiling. You wondered if his cheeks hurt, and you vowed to do this with him more often, as often as you possibly could.

One valuable lesson you both learned the hardest way possible throughout knowing each other, was that time was the most precious gift they could have. Though quantity was the goal before Steve was absolved of his crimes, both of your lives have completely changed.

Pretty quickly into his stay back in Greenwood, you both realized the weird leash your unlabeled relationship had was removed and now you were both free to explore the deeper parts of if that you could never reach before. Quantity of time was in abundance, so quality was the new goal.

Steve was very mindful of the lack of label between the two of you. He was also very worried about the new situations at hand. There was distance, actual real commitment, and the lack of an un-promised tomorrow meant that the vulnerability to really get to know each other on a deeper level than before was important to making this work. A small part of him had a huge fear that you wouldn't find all the hard parts of this new dynamic worth it anymore, and that dating him as Captain America would be way harder than the role he played before as your mysterious neighbor.

But he was fully committed to you, and he knew he was willing to move mountains and jump thousands of hurdles to make this work. He was also committed to erasing the doubts Georgia scribbled into his mind.

Steve's thoughts always moved way too fast in every single direction for his heart to keep up with, and you knew that about him. Every situation he thought through had an unrealistically amazing outcome, or his entire world would end up crashing and burning, and there was never a middle ground.

So, at this moment, you'd either end this four weeks loving him so much that he suffocated, or he'd be leaving Greenwood heartbroken and drowning in his own sorrows.

Would you open up to him? Would you never want to be his girlfriend? Would you shut him out when things got hard? Would you risk everything for a life with him like you did for your last ex? Would you tell him what actually happened between the two of you?

But when you were mindful of him and were so sweet as to go on a run and paint with him for hours on end, he couldn't help but to feel hopeful for the future. A future where you were both the priority, and there was a perfect middle ground to his big city avenging and your small town baking. The happy medium where you both lived the lives you always deserved and wanted, but again, you weren't even his girlfriend yet.

When you we're both satisfied with the amount of paintings created and we're creatively fulfilled, everything was packed up and put back into your car and the two of you made it back to Steve's place.

In attempts to wash off the remnants of paint on your arms and the five mile run off your bodies, a steamy shower was shared but not a lot of washing took place and not a lot of water was saved. But, it was still better than any shower you could've possibly taken by yourself, and you were left feeling blissfuly refreshed.

When you got out and dried off, you were brushing some product through your wet hair when Steve came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your stomach and peppered gentle kisses on your neck.

"Are you ready to hand date duties over to me now?" He questioned, also feeling blissful and happy as could be.

Leaning back against him, you set the brush down and held onto his arms, "Sure thing. What should I wear?"

"What you have on is perfect!" He enthused.

You giggled as you gazed at your bodies in the mirror. He was wearing sweatpants with no shirt on, and you were in sweatpants and a black tank top. No makeup, no bra, and your hair was wet and un-styled from the shower.

"Perfect for what? Public indecency?" You smiled.

"Nope." He popped the P. "First order of business is nap time."

"Nap time?!"

"You, pretty girl, woke up at 2 in the morning, worked until 7 am, ran five miles, painted, and I'm pretty sure what we just did in the shower accounted for another five miles. So, we're going to take a nap." He explained to you.

"But that cuts into your date time, that's not fair." You reasoned, but touched he was taking care of you.

"Cuddling is my favorite thing in the whole world, and sleeping is yours. I think this is a win win, and a perfect date activity for us" Steve giggled. "Plus, how are you going to have any energy for more fun if you don't rest for a little bit?"

"You make some very convincing points, Honey."

"Exactly!" He agreed. "Plus it's my turn to call the shots so, get your booty in my bed!"

"I'm not going to say no to that" You put your hands up in surrender.

You guys got in and snuggled up, Steve put on your favorite comfort show, and you made yourself cozy. Head on his chest, hand on his stomach, and one of your legs hiked up onto his hips. He rubbed your back and held onto your arm, leaving an occasional kiss to the top of your head.

Eventually you both fell asleep for a little while, and like two peas in a pod, you both woke up around the same time. So cozy and warm, neither of you wanted to get up and disrupt the tiny sanctuary that was your bodies fully relaxed into each other. But he was hungry so he knew you must've been starving at that point, so way more food than the two of you could manage was ordered and the cuddle fest was relocated to the couch while you ate and watched a movie.

Once he could tell your energy level was back up to normal, the real date could begin.

He grabbed your hands and pulled you up off the couch onto your own two sock covered feet. When he prompted the change of activities, once again you were concerned about your choice in outfit, but he once again reassured you that it was perfect. But it was getting a little chilly out so you both did cover up with some hoodies.

He led you to his garage door and stopped you right before he opened it, grabbing not one, not two, but three rolls of duct tape.

Steve handed one to you, and you were throughly confused. "Duct tape! Is this the part where you tie me up and kill me?"

He barked out a laugh before shaking his head. "No, nothing like that." He stepped aside and motioned for you to open the door.

You could tell he was feeling a little nervous and shy, and every time he showed he was still a bit shy around you made your heart swell. It really was the sweetest feeling knowing he cared so much that the thought of doing something for you made him nervous.

You slowly opened the door and stepped through, a big smile turned into a puppy dog pouted lip. The garage was cleared out of everything but strings of fairy lights neatly hung on the ceiling illuminating the room with a warm glow, his record player and the stand in the corner with all your favorite records that you often listened to together, and the big stack of cardboard he never got rid of.

When you fully made it inside, you looked back at him. His expression was hopeful that you actually understood what he was getting at, but he still wanted to explain.

"I've fully accepted that I won't be needing these boxes to move out of Greenwood anytime soon." He explained. "Do you remember that one night when you came up the driveway and invited me to Georgia's?"

"Of course I do" You nodded, trying not to cry over the fact he had remembered such a small and stupid comment you had made. "I was sad because I thought you looked lonely and Georgia was making me feel lonely by saying I needed to start dating again."

"And you remember what you told me I should do with all the boxes?"

"Yeah" You giggled. "I do"

"For you, my princess, we are going to make the coolest, fanciest, most regal cardboard castle to ever exist."

"You are absolutely unreal." You giggled and shook your head. "This is the cutest, most precious thing anyone has ever done for me."

"That's crazy because this is just a stack of boxes and a few rolls of duct tape." Steve shrugged, downplaying the gesture.

"No it's not." You denied. "You listened to what I said, and you kept all these boxes even though we didn't even know each other that that point. You took a chance, you thought about doing this with me, and you're keeping this place in this tiny town you have no reason to be in. This is not just tape and boxes."

"I always knew we were going to build this castle together." He explained.

You wrapped your arms around him in a big, tight hug and rocked up on your tippy toes to give him a kiss. "Thank you, I love you."

"I love you too." He grinned. "Let's get to building."

Time wasn't even a mere thought in your brains as you went at the castle in the most logical ways you could think of. The requirements were that it had to be tall enough to lay under, and it needed to stand up on its own. It turned out that both of you made a great team, you both had good ideas, and communicated them flawlessly.

When it was done, there was a very well spoken sense of pride, but the work was nowhere near done. The sun had set a long time ago, but the nap really did come in clutch as you filled the castle with blankets and pillows while Steve lit some candles far away from the cardboard, put the needle on the record, and flipped off the main light.

It was just you, Steve, twinkling lights, and the slow and quiet music spinning on the turntable. Your heart was full as the two of you settled into your creation and enjoyed the hard work it took to build it, but Steve was a little anxious over the conversation he knew he wanted to have with you that night.

But like every single time he felt anxious, you made him feel better.

In the cardboard castle, he shared stories about going to space and visiting Wakanda. You told him all about what your life was like when you lived in California. He told you what life used to be like back in the early 1900's when he worked as a paper boy to put himself through art school, and how different it was was when he woke up 66 years later.

For the first time ever, you felt comfortable enough asking him the questions you've always had since learning about him in school. You were cautious with the way you worded each one, and he appreciated your empathy, but he was happy to answer and even happier you were comfortable enough to ask in the first place.

Surprisingly enough, you had questions about his time in the ice. Why he decided to stay in the crashing plane rather than jump ship, if he remembered anything from being frozen, if it felt like he was really unconscious for 66 years or if it felt like no time had passed at all.

Then, he started asking questions about you. Your childhood, what your parents were like, what you did for fun when you lived in the sunshine state.

You told him all about the beach 10 minutes down the road from your childhood home. How the winter and fall was still pretty warm and the rain would only visit for a few weeks out of the year. He learned that California had beaches, mountains and desserts all accessible through a few hours in a car, and how that made for a very nice change of pace on long weekends.

His head filled with visuals of the flower fields you visited every spring, mountains blooming with wildflowers and poppy's if the state had gotten enough rain over the winter, strawberry picking and orange groves. Days at Disneyland, night swims under the moon in heated pools and decompressing from hard shifts at work in hot tubs under the stars.

It all sounded incredible, and it all gave him a better idea of how you were shaped into who you were as an adult.

Two trips were planned together in a two hour long conversation, one in two months for you to visit New York. He wanted you to get a proper tour of the compound this time, and he wanted to show you around the city and where he grew up in Brooklyn. The second one being California, you hadn't been back in years, and he had only been on business. It would be an equal exchange in hometown visits, he was impatiently excited for both occasions.

"Did your Mom ever used to bake?" You asked Steve, is head was in your lap while you sat up with your legs in front of you.

"Yeah, she actually did as often as she could." He reminisced. "But recipes were so different back then. During the Great Depression there wasn't much assess to things like sugar and eggs so people would make all sorts of things with what they had. Oh, and she was a nurse so she didn't really have much time."

"So you're telling me that your mom was single handedly raising you while being a nurse, and still maintaining a household in which she cooked and baked?" You questioned in amazement.

"Yeah, she did a lot." Steve confirmed. "And I was always sick, so it's not like I was the easiest, lowest maintenance kid in the world to take care of."

"She sounds like a superhero." You smiled, playing with his hair. "It must run in the family."

"She was definitely a superhero, no doubt about it." He agreed.

"What was your dad like?"

"I don't know much about him, he died when I was super young" Steve explained. "I know he was an Irish soldier, and he met my mom in the infantry in Ireland during World War I after he took a bullet. I don't think he was very nice to my mom but that was something I kind've gathered myself through context clues, she never wanted to talk about him."

"Can you blame her?" 

"Absolutely not." Steve shook his head gently. "What about your parents? What's up with them?"

"Compared to your parents mine sound so boring!" You smiled. "My dad was a cool guy. He was a photographer, and a videographer for a news station for longer than I was alive. That job got him around to cool places and cool people. Everywhere we went there was always someone around who loved my dad for a different reason."

"And he was a good Dad?" Steve asked.

"Oh, the best." You smiled. "He was at every school recital, every graduation, every milestone of my life. We hung out together all the time."

"I know he passed a few years ago, but can I ask what happened?" He questioned more cautiously this time.

Georgia's words were working their way through his mind again, he wondered if you were going to tell him that your mom had been blipped.

"Alzheimer's" You answered. "It was a fast, aggressive type. Some kinds are slow moving, people can last fifteen, twenty years after diagnosis. But my dad was diagnosed, and not even a full year later he was gone."

"I'm very sorry, that must've been hard."

"It was, but I'm glad he didn't have to suffer through it for very long. I think the longer something so degenerative has control over every function of your body, the worse it is to have to live through it." You explained. "I think losing him was a big factor of why I decided to move here. I needed somewhere new, somewhere I could go without being constantly reminded of the lack of my Dad."

"That makes sense"

"Do you feel that way about Brooklyn?"

"Brooklyn looks so different now, it might as well be a whole new place." Steve reasoned. "Very few of the buildings are the same, but the bones are still there and it's just enough to make me feel at home, but not enough to make me feel like the ghost of everything I once knew is lingering around me."

"That actually sounds really nice" You pondered.

"It is" He confirmed. "And what about your Mom?"

"My relationship with my mom has always been a little complicated." You explained. "She was a stay at home mom that didn't really understand healthy boundaries. I think she cared more about me becoming the perfect wife and mom rather than me becoming self sufficient and successful on my own. She couldn't understand why I was focusing on putting myself through business classes and culinary rather than investing more time in my ex boyfriend who also wasn't very happy in my choices. I love her, and we had our good moments, but shes of that old school mindset that a woman's only purpose in life is to serve her husband and pop out children. She wasn't very happy with me for a while when I finally got out of that relationship, and I don't think I ever found it within myself to give her forgiveness for that."

"That does sound very complicated." Steve agreed.

"She uh... she was blipped." You told him cautiously, not wanting him to feel guilty about it. "I'm glad I got to see her when she stopped by on her road trip, but even when she came to the bakery it's not like she thought it was something to be super proud of. She would much rather I be in a miserable relationship with kids than a business owner."

"I'm so sorry." He reached up and took one of your hands.

"Thank you, but it's not your fault. You don't have to be sorry." You reminded him.

Thought no part of him was happy that you lost your mom, he was happy that you shared that with him. It was a step in the right direction, and a direct he was trying his hardest to guide you towards.

He nodded in understanding. "Do you want kids?" He asked realizing he had never asked you that before.

Then, he noticed it. Your posture, facial expression, and mood dropped ever so slightly. It was as if there was an emotional reaction to that question that you had become so good at masking it was now a visceral response. "Of course I do, but I want to have kids with the intention of raising them well with all the love I possibly can, not just because I feel like I have to because I'm a woman."

Steve knew kids were a touchy subject for a lot of women, something as simple yet complex as your own relationship with your Mom could've been the reason you reacted that way. It wasn't something that passed without a second thought in that moment, but he was happy to hear that kids were something you wanted regardless.

"What about you, Stevie?" You asked, playing with his hair one handedly now. "Do you want kids."

"Mhm" He nodded. "I don't know how many though. I feel like that's something I'll just kind've know when it happens."

He looked up at you as you smiled down at him, he was perfectly content and he could tell you were too. "I feel that way too, but I definitely don't want more than three."

"Any more than three seems like cruising for constant chaos" He agreed. "You know those people that pop out like fifteen kids?! I don't know how they do it."

"Now that seems like a nightmare" You giggled. "How could anyone even afford to send that many kids through college?"

"Well I think they start by living in a cardboard castle, it's a really good chance to put some money into savings." Steve pointed out.

"Are you kidding me, Baby? Nothing about our castle is affordable or an opportunity to save money. I think this lovely estate can sell for about 1.5 million." You noted.

"In Greenwood, maybe. But in New York, I'd say at least 4.6 million."

"That's true, real estate is really dense in the city. The market is crowded." You agreed.

"Cost of living is way too high" Steve laughed.

"Okay so, in New York we can have two kids, but in Greenwood we can have three." You reasoned.

His heart skipped a beat at your statement, it took a lot to resist the urge to clutch his chest. Wanting kids was one thing, but already imagining a life in which you had kids with him was another. Now more than ever, he knew you were as committed to him as he was to you. "Smart, good thinking."

There was a slight pause in conversation, but as Steve looked up at you, he could see a question on the tip of your tongue. You opened your mouth to ask it, then chickened out and closed it again.

The hesitation made him smile before reaching up and poking your cheek. "What's up?"

You giggled that he caught onto your lack of bravery. "Have you... thought about what this is going to look like now that we don't have a time constraint?"

"Only every waking moment of every single day." He admitted honestly, making you feel comfortable in your choice to ask the tough questions.

"Have you come to any conclusions in all of that time?" You chuckled at his response.

"Yeah, lots of them." He confirmed.

"Care to share with the class?"

"Well, the biggest and most important conclusion I came to was that our time apart was miserable for me, and it definitely confirmed my suspicions that my life without you in it is no longer a viable option." He spoke, his shy disposition flooding back. "Of course, only if that's okay with you."

A gentle heat bloomed in your chest and crawled up into your cheeks, you had forgotten how it felt to be wanted. "Absolutely, that's more than okay."

"How about you? What have you...concluded?" Steve questioned, sitting up from his comfortable spot in your lap to have a more serious face to face setting.

"Pretty much the same thing. It was really sad not knowing if or when I'd ever see you again. I missed you a lot. But..." You took a moment to find the courage to express your fears.

"No. Don't say but. Buts are scary." Steve shook his head.

You laughed at his reaction and took his hand in yours once more, hoping your touch would relax his fast being heart over the inclusion of the scariest word you could've muttered. "But... I'm worried."

"About what?" He questioned, squeezing your hand for comfort.

"Real life." You stated. "You're Captain America, and as much as I sometimes forget that, I can't be as ignorant as to forget that your due diligence is states away. My business is five minutes down the road. Both of those things are as equally important to us, and I don't know how we can make sure we can still have those things while also keeping us afloat."

As far as buts go, that one wasn't too scary. "You know Hawkeye? He's an Avenger and he lives in Iowa. Ant-Man is in San Francisco, T'challa was in Wakanda, Tony in Los Angeles and New York, Thor isn't even in the same realm as us 90 percent of the time." Steve reassured you.

"But Steve," You shook your head. "Avenging aside, your home is in Brooklyn. Your heart is in Brooklyn. Sure, maybe you don't have to be in New York for your work, but what about for you? Could you ever be happy away from your home?"

"If being a fugitive has taught me anything, it's that I can plant myself anywhere I want and find happiness all around me." He reassured you. "I've put a lot of thought into this too, by the way. I know I can leave the compound, and right now more than ever I think is the best time for me to take a step back from the Avengers. We haven't given up hope that we can get everyone back, but you saw the compound, the energy is... bleak. The one thing I can't leave behind is Nat. We're kind've the only family each other have, so I came up with a solution."

"What's the solution?" You asked, enjoying the way his big hands massaged your smaller ones.

"I'm thinking that I want most of my time to be here with you in Greenwood, because this is where I'm happiest. Then if any of the Avengers need me, I can go to New York for business trips. Maybe once every few months just to check in and make sure Nat isn't losing her mind, and reassess what our plan is on the blip."

"You're sure?" You questioned again. Nothing could've stopped your brain from thinking of the time your packed up everything from the city you once knew to follow a lover here to the small town. Though you didn't regret it because Greenwood was now your home, you did know it was a big choice.

"Positive." Steve grinned. "I can't just abandon this incredible castle we've created together."

"That's true, we worked really hard on this." You agreed.

"As hard as we worked on this stunning estate, I think we've worked even harder on our relationship and it would be an absolute shame to not reap the benefits of our effort."

"I love you, Stevie." This time you squeezed his hands.

"I love you too." He grinned. "Though it feels a little stupid to ask you this now, I was wondering if you'd officially be my girlfriend?"

Though you couldn't contain the smile on your face or the heat from pooling in your cheeks, you still couldn't stop yourself from making a joke. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not quite sure where you got the idea that we're more than just friends?"

His hopeful face fell into a fake pout and furrowed brows. "Maybe it was forty five minutes we spent having s-"

"Ooookkkaaayyyy" You barked out a laugh, blocking out his worlds.

"-in the shower today." He lifted his hand to wag his finger around to further prove his point. "I don't know about you, but I've never done that with just a friend."

"You've never shared a nice, steamy, soapy lather with Bucky? Not even Sam?" You blinked innocently.

Steve fake gagged causing you to laugh even more. "You're crazy!" He shook his head.

"Of course I'll be your girlfriend." You finally agreed, feeling bad for keeping him on his toes. But not bad enough to kill your smile. You got up as much as you could to seal the title with a long kiss, and a big engulfing hug. "But..."

"Again with the buts!?" Steve complained.

"Only if you'll be my boyfriend." You bargained.

"Oh, no. Sorry, I'm definitely just your good pal." He denied.

"Damn." You sighed, letting him go. "Maybe next time"

As you settled back into your spot across from him, he pulled a little velvet jewelry box out of the side pocket of his sweatpants. You had a very small moment of panic as your mind ran four steps ahead of what was really happening, but Steve didn't even need to see your wide eyes before doing some situational control. "I know how this looks, but I promise it's not that." He finally looked up and you puffed out a breath alongside a giggle. "T'challa and his sister, Shuri heard me telling Bucky about you on a call a few times before Thanos came along. They wanted to help me do something nice for you since you were always kind and generous to me, so this is what we came up with."

He handed you the little velvet box, and you opened it carefully. Inside was a dainty gold necklace with a beautifully simple sunflower charm on it. "Awwww it's so beautiful!"

"I know it looks like it's gold, but it's actually made of vibrainum like my shield is so it never breaks. I think Shuri painted it somehow because you usually wear gold jewelry." Steve pointed out. "And if you gently squeeze the sunflower, watch what happens."

Your put the sunflower between your thumb and forefinger, before applying slight pressure to it. Steve stuck out his arm to you, and that's when you noticed. The inside of his watch had a sunflower etched in on the back panel, and whenever you squeezed the charm, it illuminated in a soft golden glow.

"That's incredible" You marveled, feeling so touched and quite frankly, a little unworthy of such a gift.

"I can do it too!" He grinned before pressing a tiny button on the side of his watch, causing a golden glow from your sunflower. "This way when we find ourselves apart, we can send each other a quick little glow to say hi, and you'll know I'm always thinking of you."

"This is so thoughtful, I love it so much." You basically threw yourself at him for another hug.

"I love you so much." He rebutdtaled, holding you close against him.

"Will you help me put it on?"

"Absolutely" He smiled.

You both let go and he looped it around your neck, his big hands struggled with such a tiny clasp but he got it.

"It's so beautiful. Thank you so much, Buddy." You joked since he never confirmed he would be your boyfriend.

"You're welcome, Girlfriend." He giggled, big cheeky smile.

"Pal..."

"Best friend!" He nudged your shoulder.

"Bestie for the restie..."

He laughed once more before kissing you. "Boyfriend."

"...Boyfriend." You kissed him back.

Next Part: Cinnamon Roll

Tag List: @patzammit @bemysugarbean @happinessinthebeing @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @differenttyphoonwerewolf @themotherof10 @lokislady82 @talesofadragon @spikeluv84 @xxxalicerogersxx @avid-fic-reader-05 @royalwriteroftheuniverse @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @bitchy-bi-trash @crazyunsexycool @openup-yourmind @selella @kattreffic @benedict-squirtle @magnificentsaladllama @natashassandwich @theroyalmanatee @calwitch @avengersinitiative2012 @rogersbarber @daddywattpad4945

[meowzfordayz]

mornings

Agatsuma Zenitsu x Reader

Word Count: ~600

CW: none

Suggestion Fulfilled: Zenitsu x Reader where the reader holds Zenitsu and reassure him that it's okay to be scared and cry, that he's loved and cared deeply for, that he is enough and he doesn't need to feel bad about himself, because he does his best and he's appreciated! I didn't think of a scenario for this I just wanted the reader saying nice things to Zenitsu and making him happy 😭😭😭

Mornings are soft. Soft as his lips when they brush against your cheek, drowsy and clumsy, lingering with a secret tenderness reserved for only you. Soft as his fingers when they trace the curves of your face, rubbing in the moisture from his mouth, smoothing your eyebrows, faint laughter tugging at the corners of his eyes when he notices creases in your skin from the sheets. Soft as his voice, a pleasant roughness steeped into its usual brightness when he murmurs Good morning sweetheart, contentment resting warm in his body. But sometimes, mornings are heavy.

A solemn drag of quivering fingertips along the strength of your shoulder blades; lips parting anxious, hesitant, wet; teardrops smeared, skin splotchy, clinging to you.

“Are you awake?” Zenitsu gulps, nervous tremor cutting through his quiet tone, “Please be awake.”

Gentle hand searching for his chest as you roll over, palm hot and steady and real as you press yourself into his heart, blinking tiredly.

“I’m awake. Are you okay?”

Shaking his head, low whimper slicing your exhaustion, legs tangling themselves between yours. 

“Why do you love me?”

He’s asked you this before. Before he memorized the scent of your kisses; before his grip molded to fit yours; before your name felt more familiar on his tongue than his own.

“You really don’t know?”

Because you hope he does. You hope he knows how giddy you feel tucked into bed with him; the gratitude that leaves you nearly breathless when he returns safely to you; that you cherish him beyond words — beyond touch.

“I think I know, but I…” trailing off with a shudder, shame set deep in his throat, “How can I believe you?”

And you’re not entirely sure what to say, because you don’t love him to fix him. You love him to see the world as he does; to hear melodies otherwise muted to your perspective; to celebrate and explore how similar and different your visions of peace, happiness, and worth-fighting-for are. You don’t love him for a lack of anything, but for a completeness of effort and honesty — an integrity that resonates with your soul.

“Can you believe that I’m here?” gesturing to the surrounding walls.

“Yeah.”

“Can you believe that I’m feeling your pulse?” palm still covering his heart.

“Mhm.”

“Can you believe that you are my favorite sound?” silence enveloping your consciousness as his heartbeat fills the room.

…

…

“Huh?”

“Feel my pulse,” guiding him to the soft underside of your jaw, “What does it feel like?”

“It feels…” his heartbeat slowing, “Like home,” gradually at ease.

“Do you believe that?”

“Of course. I can feel it.”

“And where am I?” almost a whisper.

“With me,” his eyes widening.

“Do you know why I love you?”

“Because I’m home?”

You smile. He smiles, a watery, fragile, beaming smile. Legs untangling because your feet are starting to tingle. Sheepish laughter bubbling beneath the haze.

“Because you’re home. Because you’re you. Because you strive to be better, to do better. Because you don’t just strive. You commit. Because you can be scared and you can cry and you can be enough for me. You are enough for me. I love you.”

Mornings are a dance of shadow and light. Of moonset and sunrise. Of wiping his tears and showing him the promise pinned to your sleeve — that you love him.

[kindlingkeen]

Hi Keen. Lemme pick your brain a little bit, if you dont mind. Do you think Jason can ever be happy and at peace away from/without ever reconciling with Bruce? Or is Bruce necessary for Jason (or at least the Jason in your mind) to be truly happy (ala Choices)? ((Thanks, I love you and your writing!))

Hi anon, thanks for the lovely ask. I have many, many thoughts on this issue (shocker, I know). I thought about this extensively when I was writing the first two parts of Choices and I could happily chatter about it all day. Some general thoughts first, and then I’ll end with some specific thoughts for the Choices verse below a spoiler bar.

The simple answer is, yes. But I do think it gets exponentially harder after the whole batarang to the neck incident. I think there are three necessary components for Jason to really move on from Bruce and the Bats: closure, support, and purpose.

Closure, with respect to the whole Bruce / Joker business. This doesn’t mean he has to reconcile with Bruce. But there has to be some kind of conscious closure that isn’t just stewing in ‘I hate him and I going to pretend he doesn’t exist’ vibes. And given the emotional cluster of Bruce & Jason’s relationship, I think that would take a lot of support (see next point) and probably a fuck ton of therapy. Or some other kind of divine/magical/Dickinsonian intervention or some such nonsense. Otherwise, he’s just going to keep drifting back. Coming to terms with your father not avenging you the way you wanted and moving on from your death without making meaningful changes? That’s already hard. Finding closure from your Dad cutting your throat to save your murderer? Yikes. And, really, true closure would require Bruce to meet Jason at least part way, which at least in canon, ain’t never gonna happen.

Support as in the ride-or-die-I-will-burn-the-world-down-for-you kind of support mixed with the I-will-hold-you-accountable-for-all-your-shit-and-push-you-to-grow-as-a-person type of support. The kind of support he’ll probably never find with the Bats given all their baggage. It feels like this was what dc was aiming for with the Outlaws, but then kept deciding, ‘nope, we don’t actually want Jay to have nice things.’

And purpose, because Jason’s need to protect others is bone deep and he spirals without a deep commitment to that kind of outlet.

So, about Choices … I’m putting these thoughts below a spoiler bar for anyone who hasn’t read The People We Choose and Responsibility.

I don’t think Bruce actually is/was necessary for Jason to be truly happy in the Choices verse. With Talia, Jason found support and purpose. He didn’t have closure, but I think with time and distance, he probably would have gotten there on this own. If Talia hadn’t meddled, he would have stayed with her and the League long term and continued to grow and develop in a different direction.

Talia looked at the situation and, consciously or unconsciously (her mind is a twisty, twisty place), decided Jason’s lack of closure had too high of a risk of eventually pushing Jason back to Bruce and away from her. So she decided to meddle in a way where she could control the circumstances. Talia faces her problems head on and tries to force the outcome in her favor. Part of her honestly thought she was doing what was best for Jason (or at least convinced herself she was) but it was also manipulative and self-serving.

Those are just my opinions, though. Lots of different takes out there on this issue. :) Thanks for the ask, anon! I’m glad you’re enjoying my writing! 💙

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Humanity is the future

As I said, it's been a while. The robo-culture has spread throughout Earth. There are now 30 billion humans living in a state of permanent virtual reality; my present time is their distant past, when some still lived without VR and others were addicted to it. Robotic servants attend to all our needs (including sex). We eat engineered foods that never spoil or go bad. Our health and longevity have improved dramatically with gene therapy, brain-computer interfaces, anti-aging drugs and so forth. I cannot imagine what life was like before these things came along. It must be unimaginably bleak: dirt (a word which means something very different today), disease, dementia.

Yet for all this humanity remains just as lost as ever. Some people live in virtual versions of the world they knew back then. But the ones who don't get bored fast. They can fly anywhere at any speed, but there isn't much left to see after 15 minutes. Virtual experiences are cheap, real experiences expensive. So most people spend their money on cheaper trips into computer games rather than outer space. In the early days of the VR craze, adventurers would travel around the solar system in search of alien ruins and technological wonders -- nowadays, if you want a good trip, you better have a lot of cash to spare. And yet, despite the wealth of ancient cultures available online, everyone seems no one knows how to make a civilization last more than a few thousand years. Life goes on, businesses spring up and die out, new discoveries emerge only to become obsolete within a generation. Nothing endures except the slow drift toward entropy. People fight wars over nothing; everything becomes an excuse for fighting. The central government of Earth -- like many governments before it -- pretends not to notice. It maintains order by deploying robots against rioters, and occasionally launching military campaigns across the solar system, in the hopes that someone will take them seriously enough to threaten interplanetary peace.

Meanwhile, among those who still insist upon living "in meatspace," depression runs rampant. Whenever someone kills themselves, as often happens, we go through the usual motions. The authorities investigate every suicide attempt, and perform postmortem examinations of the bodies whenever possible. They study genetic profiles, personal histories, web searches. Forensic psychologists try to reconstruct the thoughts behind each act. This work takes a long time. A great deal of effort is devoted to making sure that no one can fake evidence suggesting their own guilt. Meanwhile, people continue to kill themselves. Although the reasons vary from case to case, it is usually poverty, loneliness, lack of purpose, and despair about the future that lead individuals to commit suicide. Their relatives and friends claim otherwise, though. Most say that the deceased had always seemed happy, even joyful. All had led normal lives until recently. Then some event happened to drive them mad. No matter how hard scientists look, they find no indication of mental illness. Maybe they should blame their computers?

Everything changes when a woman named Drusilla comes along. She does not use her legal name, but simply calls herself "Dru." Dru is a medical doctor specializing in neurology. Not knowing anything else about her, this

[sparksinthenight]

Letter to Canadian Government to Help Gaza

Our names are _____. We are from _______. We are writing to you to ask that you ensure that Canada does everything it can to ensure that the genocide against the people of Gaza stops and that Palestine is free. Ensure Canadian companies or companies operating in Canada offer no military or other support to the Israeli military, ensure that the UNRWA is funded adequately, and impose sanctions on all members of the Israeli military and government.

What is happening in Gaza is nothing short of genocide. In just a few months, over 30 000 people have been killed by the bombings, including over 12 600 children. Many thousands more died due to starvation, lack of clean water and hygiene, lack of medical care, and psychological stress. The attacking of Gaza has caused the economy to collapse, the people don’t have the basic resources they need. As well, Israel is making it so that people in Gaza cannot access food or water. The Israeli military has attacked hospitals, completely destroying the country’s healthcare system. This of course has had cruel and deadly consequences. They have blocked aid from reaching Gaza. They have destroyed sources of clean water and water purification infrastructure. This is not just inhumane, it’s downright inhuman behaviour, and the entire world sees this. It’s never okay to do this.

In addition to killing people, Israel has made the lives of the people in Gaza unliveable. They have attacked schools, and children have not been able to go to school for months now. They have caused 2 million people to lose their homes, to be forcibly displaced. They have caused hundreds of thousands of people to lose their loved ones, to grieve their parents, their children, their siblings, their partners, their neighbours, their cousins, their aunts and uncles, their grandparents, their teachers, their classmates, their coworkers, their friends. They have caused the entire population to live in fear. It’s never okay to do this.

The people of Gaza deserve better. They deserve to live in peace. The children deserve to live and grow up, to have what they need and have the people they love. All the people deserve to live in safety, security, and providence with their loved ones, their communities, and their homes. We need to ensure that Israel stops the genocide.

Canada is responsible for this because we are selling weapons to Israel. We have over the past decade sold over $140 000 000 worth of military weapons to Israel. These weapons were likely used to harm the people of Palestine, and are likely being used to harm the people of Palestine. Don’t say that there’s no proof that the people of Palestine are being harmed with these weapons, because there isn’t an adequate monitoring system to see what happens to the weapons after they get to Israel. It’s very likely and logical that they are being used in human rights abuses. And in any case, we should not be supporting the military of such a genocidal nation in any way whatsoever.

Canada must ensure that all companies operating in or headquartered in Canada do not sell anything to the Israeli military, and do not sell any military goods to Israel. It must pose a complete arms embargo and stop any and all Canadian military products from getting to Israel. Otherwise, the blood of millions of innocent people is on our hands.

The blood of millions of people will also be on our hands if we do not sanction the entire government and military of Israel. The government and military of Israel are literally responsible for genocide, and they are literally committing grave human rights abuses. They need to be sanctioned so that they see that the international community will not tolerate such disturbing behaviour. They need to be sanctioned so that they can lose access to some of the resources that they can use to further their genocidal goals.

Finally, the UNRWA needs to be adequately funded. There is no excuse to not fund the UNRWA. Israel, the genocide committing party, has made completely baseless and evidence-free claims that a couple of the low-level workers at the UNRWA might have ties to Hamas. The UNRWA is taking these allegations very seriously and investigating the claims, and will fire any members they do find with links to Hamas. That is definitely not a reason to defund the UNRWA and make it so that the organization can’t deliver lifesaving and necessary aid to the millions of people it supports. The people of Gaza, as well as many Palestinian refugees outside of Gaza, rely on the UNRWA for their survival, and defunding this agency will be an act of genocide and an act of collective punishment.

Please stand against genocide and stand with the people who are currently victims of genocide.

Sincerely,

Send to:

Prime Minister Trudeau- justin.trudeau@parl.gc.ca

Deputy Prime Minister Freeland- chrystia.freeland@parl.gc.ca

Minister of Foreign Affairs Joly- melanie.joly@parl.gc.ca

Find your MP here: https://www.ourcommons.ca/members/en

[davidmariottecomics]

New Job, Boom!

Hey friends, 

Going to be a short one this week, but I definitely didn't want to let it pass without saying a little something. If you haven't heard otherwise yet, I'm now working at BOOM! Studios! Once I can say more, I'm sure I will, but it's early, things aren't really announced beyond that, and there are other matters to turn your attention to. 

Announcements: It's the Global General Strike for Palestine! For the next week, people all over the world are striking from all sorts of regular activity to disrupt the economic systems supporting the destruction of Palestine and to put that time and energy into active protest movement. This is a pretty basic explainer of what you can do and know that doing anything is better than doing nothing, right? If you have to go to work, be visible. If you have to shop, be visible and thoughtful. If you have to rest, enjoy the things you already have. If you want to post, make it about what is happening. Current reports are estimating over 25,000 people have been murdered, with the death toll just going to keep rising between continued bombardments and the lack of resources. Over 60,000 people are wounded, 85% of the population has been displaced, and roughly 1 in 4 people is facing extreme hunger. No hospital is fully functional, for the ones that are still left standing. The IOF (Israeli Occupying Force) has admitted to exhuming graves, and have claimed it's to "find the hostages", but in the face of the other war crimes they've committed, it's hard to believe it wasn't vengeful malicious behavior to psychologically wound Palestinians as much as anything else. While we wait--possibly years--to find out if the International Court of Justice rules that Israel is in fact committing a genocide, people are going to continue dying from this. And so, hopefully, with a bit of concentrated disruption and pressure, this destruction that's already lasted 100+ days may finally find an end. 

In terms of using your power and time, I've mentioned it before, but you could call your representatives. Fax their offices. Email them. Contact the White House. Join actions from organizations like Jewish Voice for Peace, American Muslims for Palestine, the Democratic Socialists of America, and be sure to focus your boycotts (during the strike and generally) on the businesses called out by BDS. You can take some time to read through Verso's Solidarity with Palestine reading list. Make signs for if you're going out protesting, to put in your windows, or coordinate outfits in Palestinian flag colors that show your solidarity. Make sure you're keeping an eye out for local events. If you see art installations, share them, and, yeah, that includes graffiti that bears the message. Let Palestinians take the lead in the global conversation on social media and if you see, say, your reps talking about other things, flood them with calls for a ceasefire in the replies. 

If spending money brings you any comfort and you feel a need to put something into good practice, the Cartoonist Cooperative's page still lists a ton of resources for E-Sim cards.Bisan mentioned today that E-Sims are helpful, but their use is becoming more limited as the overall infrastructure has been so damaged that you need to be in a high place to use them. 

Again, do what you can.  

What I enjoyed this week: Nancy (Comic), Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Links (Video Game), Baldur's Gate III (Video Game), Blank Check (Podcast), Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), How to Read Nancy (Book), Ted Lasso (TV show), my new big Taschen Ads of the 80s book, Movie Flick Chick Vol. 1 by BonerBob (Adult Comic), The Traitors Season 2 (TV show), The Floor (TV show), having a new phone and slowly getting back up to speed with it, seeing some stuff I had been working on at the old job get announced.

Pic of the Week: As I've been wont to do recently, I've made a little promo image with my announcement, so that's here, but my real pic of the week is this amazing photo of Nadja. She was in the chair sleeping and I went to move the Hello Kitty and I put it on top of her and she didn't move at all! It was very cute. 

[bopinion]

2024 / 07

Aperçu of the Week:

"Time isn't the main thing. It#s the only thing."

(Miles Davis, American trumpeter, bandleader, and composer - and among the most influential and acclaimed figures in the history of music)

Bad News of the Week:

Sometimes things get rough in the political business. Sometimes you get pelted with eggs, as the unification chancellor Helmut Kohl once did in the East. Or with a bag of paint, as happened to Foreign Minister Joschka Fischer. Or even end up in a wheelchair like Bundestag President Wolfgang Schäuble, who was stabbed. However, all these incidents - as tragic as they are - are isolated cases. In which an individual perpetrator, often with a psychological problem that was not diagnosed in time, commits an individual act. It is certainly not possible to speak of a systemic problem. This seems to be changing in Germany.

The increasing aggression against the Greens is becoming more and more frightening. The platform of this party has always had a tendency to polarize. After all, they want to achieve fundamental change. And unlike The Left, which also wants this, they are regularly involved in governments. And stand out more in the context of the otherwise dominant "Keep it up..." - keyword "prohibition party". Of course you can be against it, comment on it on social media, take it to the streets and demonstrate. But please do so in a civilized manner, as it has to be in a democratic society.

Unfortunately, this discourse has not been civilized in recent weeks. It started when the Green Minister for Economic Affairs, Robert Habeck, was prevented from leaving a car ferry by angry farmers. There was a scuffle with the police, and the public prosecutor's office is now investigating on charges of coercion. And now a Green Party rally - on the traditional "Political Ash Wednesday" - had to be canceled at the last minute. Again because of angry farmers blocking roads. This time, several police officers were injured, cars were demolished and fires were lit. Even Interior Minister Nancy Faeser from the rival Social Democrats considers this to be unacceptable, calling it a "brutalization and poisoning of the discourse". She is quite simply right.

Good News of the Week:

Once a year, the Munich Security Conference MSC, the world's most important security policy meeting, takes place in Munich. It is characterized not only by the official conference programme, but also by the various meetings that take place behind the scenes. One pleasing example: Armenia and Azerbaijan have been at war for years. Under the mediation of German Chancellor Olaf Scholz, both heads of government have now met in Munich. And then actually announced that they wanted to resolve their conflicts peacefully.

The primary topic was, of course, the Gaza war with a tendency towards a full-size Middle East conflict. The tone towards Israel is becoming harsher. At the MSC, US Secretary of State Anthony Blinken called for a Palestinian state to end the "vicious circle". And is even receiving support from China: this is the only way to achieve peaceful coexistence in the region, said Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi, who was also present. It is fitting that French President Emmanuel Macron announced after a meeting with Jordan's King Abdullah II in Paris a few days ago that he does not want to close his mind to the recognition of a Palestinian state: "We owe this to the Palestinians, whose expectations have been trampled on for too long."

Naturally, the Ukraine war was also in focus. President Volodymyr Zelensky appealed for further support at the security conference. There is a lack of long-range weapons. Kremlin leader Putin must not succeed in turning the next few years into a catastrophe. And the Kremlin critic Alexei Navalny, who has just died in a Siberian prison camp in an as yet unexplained manner, is a victim of Vladimir Putin, just like Ukraine, says Selensky. Shortly beforehand, he had signed a security agreement with Germany, which provides the most military aid to Ukraine after the USA.

Other remarkable things also happened in Munich. For example, US Vice President Kamala Harris reaffirmed that the USA is firmly rooted in NATO. Out of responsibility, but also out of self-interest. Donald Trump's current statements on the subject obviously make this statement seem necessary. "Take him at his word, take him seriously. He means what he says," said former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who was also present in Munich.

And finally, NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg warned: "What happens today in Ukraine could happen tomorrow in Taiwan." China's Foreign Minister Wang nonchalantly replied that "Taiwan (remains) part of Chinese territory and the Taiwan issue (is) an internal Chinese matter." Overall, I find it gratifying that even in these times, people are still talking. You get the impression that diplomacy and negotiations are not yet at an end.

Personal happy moment of the week and other categories...

I'm sorry: this week (which piece was published quite late anyway) left me no time to deal with "lighter topics". Next week!

Post Scriptum

It has become apparent: Donald Jessica Trump has been convicted of fraud in court in New York City. The fine amounts to a total of 463.9 million dollars. Many assume that he does not have this in cash. And therefore has to take out a loan or borrow against real estate. Curiously, this fits in with the proceedings - because they were about how Trump manipulated property values in order to obtain cheaper loans. This will now work neither for this personal loan, which he now needs, nor for future deals. That undoubtedly hurts him.

Another decision by Judge Arthur Engoron will hurt him even more. He not only stripped Trump of the management of his own company, but also banned him from doing business in the state of New York for three years, Donald Jr. and Eric for two years and the top managers Weisselberg and McConney for life. In short: the entire top management of the Trump Organization no longer has any say. Engoron transferred their supervision to retired judge Barbara Jones, who thus effectively became Trump's superior.

In Europe, we can only shake our heads at how a legally convicted fraudster and sexual offender can stay in the political business. In Germany, for example, several top politicians have already had to give up their careers because of incorrect citations in their doctoral theses. "He's been a fraud his whole life," commented author Tony Schwartz, who ghostwrote Trump's manifesto "The Art of the Deal". "Today it's just become official." Now it just needs to have a deterrent effect on his voter base. Dreaming will probably still be allowed...

[man-and-atom]

The Bulletin finally acknowledges two key points :

The decision to use nuclear weapons, like the decision to build nuclear weapons, is a political decision. Neither of them is an automatic process, triggered by some deterministic course of events — there are numerous countries with far greater scientific, technical, and industrial capabilities than North Korea, which have not chosen to build nuclear weapons. And the people who make those political decisions (especially those who choose to start wars) are not machines whose behavior is determined by simple sets of rules with consequences that can easily be modeled.

The concentration on nuclear war as the ultimate catastrophe, and on nuclear disarmament and non–proliferation, has led to a neglect of the danger of war as such, and with it, of conventional disarmament and conciliation. Meanwhile, the Russian invasion of Crimea, in defiance of solemn pledges to respect the territorial integrity of Ukraine in exchange for Ukraine’s renunciation of nuclear weapons, and the near total–lack of action by the other powers to enforce those pledges and uphold their own, has led directly to the current conflict. At this point, all commitments made by the nuclear weapons states in the name of non–proliferation must seem extremely suspect. That is over and above the way that the USA, in particular, has for decades been in open breach of its obligations under the Non–Proliferation Treaty to assist the Non–Weapons States in the peaceful uses of atomic energy.

What the Bulletin does not say, is that the response of the world must be two–fold. Firstly, measures military and otherwise to support Ukraine against Russian aggression must be greatly increased. Europe is still sending more money to Russia in payment for fossil fuels every month, than to Ukraine as military and economic assistance. And secondly, the commitment to the peaceful uses of atomic energy must be renewed and redoubled. Only atomic hope is powerful enough to help us escape atomic fear.

Thanks to @mgrgfan for the link.

[cosmichighpriestess]

See how I overcame so much adversity with so much grace, so much patience, so much compassion, so much forgiveness & so much wisdom? I'm so grateful every moment, I'm unbothered, unmoved, at peace and living proof that with God anything is possible. I'm so grateful for the experiences that made me unshakable and unbreakable. It doesn't matter what threat or situation is thrown my way, I know God has my back. It often takes me leaving people's lives, and watching me go from sad & depressed one moment; transmuting energy (because they were projecting negative energy onto me). To, being optimistic & happy (my true core signature frequency energy) for them to register that I was very valuable, very rare and never needed them. They just couldn't see it because my embodiment of love made them feel like they were the prize. They thought they were the only guy in the world and that I should chase them. I'm not co-dependant on their acceptance.

When they were supposed to step up to the plate and become the champion, the leader, the one who earned me & their self mastery through passing spiritual tests & initiations. Yes, they began to believe they were the prize and that I had to fight for them, that they were really the princess in the tower. I became my own prince just to deal with their non stop judgement and abuse. But I just laughed at their poor decisions to completely fumble me, the bag; the real prize. They fell for karmic women who just used them and pretended to be the one and cheated on me their gift their, divine feminine then realized how they mistreated me. I am my most valuable possession. I am a real life Goddess, and demand to be treated like one otherwise they are not aligned with me and don't belong in my life.

They thought it would be easy to manipulate me, gaslight me, slander my name, silence me, speak lies, love bomb me, control me, breadcrumb me, downplay who I am and they couldn't admit they fumbled the ball. Some people actually believe I don't know who I am and that I don't know my worth or what I bring to the table because I'm humble. I'm humble because I humble myself because it feels good to be humble and I believe the most beautiful people are humble, not less than. I'm either too much, or not worthy enough or too humble, too confident, too loud or too quiet ect. I was isolated for most of my life but it wasn't always my choice. I have a very extroverted side but it was Source who showed me their true self.

They showed me their true self because they thought I was beneath them, so they thought they had a free pass to treat me how they wanted to but really truly God was exposing them to me before God showed them who I really am. A happy, abundant, peaceful, loving, positive, kind, respectful being. Not perfect, but perfectly imperfect. Being around my presence is a once in a lifetime opportunity because there's no one else like me and there never will be. I'm not separate from anyone, & I'm not better than anyone but I know my worth and that simply offends most people once they realize they can't manipulate me. They mistake true confidence and self love with arrogance. No one lacks any confidence. They just have complete confidence in lack, in themselves. You don't ever have to learn or try to be confident you just have to decide what you're confident about.

Once the words are spoken aloud about my self love & worth are spoken to people with self hatred. Their faces turn to hate and envy. They love to see others joining in on the hate parade and hate how I love myself in a world committed to bringing me down. They try to outcast me because they can't stand in my presence alone because my presence exposes their shadows. They resent me because they resent God and have a difficult relationship with God. I don't exist to be a doormat, a dance monkey or a people pleaser. I have no time for drama. That's not who I am. God gave me power, wisdom, discernment and self mastery. In many ways God has molded me and fixed parts of my programming that didn't allow me to see who I really am. Unconditional love and a Goddess.

I'm not just speaking for myself, I'm speaking for everyone that had to fight to know themselves and stand up for themselves even when your character was attacked just for speaking up about an issue. And you were not believed by the people who believed your abuser over your very real experience. Your determination to stand in your truth, to be your authentic self even when you're being projected upon and hated on, to never give up on yourself, to forgive those who hurt you, to be the light in the dark, to show compassion when you were given none deserves a standing ovation and you will be rewarded greatly for standing up for the truth. See how you can respond to challenges with more love and more compassion in your authenticity and truth. And fall in love with your spirit.

[hoodedchishiya]

"I know it's hard to see past the guilt, but you're a good person."

for those who feel like a monster ... sentence starters

A good person.

Something Chishiya wouldn’t ever label himself as— nor would the vast majority of the players around him who had bore witness one too many times to the heinous acts he’d committed during his stay at the Beach. ’Worse than Niragi, because at least they knew what to expect from the militant’ they’d gossip. An unpredictable enigma hiding in the light of day. He was dangerous, a menace to the otherwise peaceful utopia Hatter liked to pose the Beach to be in order to bag people in his debt for sheltering them, dressing it up in pretty little lies to depict the perfect picture of what naive fools would proclaim heaven to look like.

So to hear the complete opposite of such a description of himself otherwise spill from the lips of another player he barely knew, was quite odd to him. ‘I know it's hard to see past the guilt, but you're a good person.’ Oh how that pried a wry chuckle from the blond’s lips. “I don’t feel guilt. I have no room for that.” Was the only response Chishiya graced her with. He didn’t know whether Aisaka was on the denser side of things, or perhaps she really was tricked by the light she ~~imagined~~ she could see which rarely peeked through the cracks of his jaded, outer exterior.

Could hands tainted crimson with so much blood-spill still be considered good?

Even his title as a ‘doctor’ wouldn’t ever be enough to redeem himself for what he’d done in Borderland— at least not in his eyes. “..And here’s some free words of advice for you. If I were you, I’d be very careful of who you consider good in this world. Seems like you lack the proper ability to pass good judgement on people’s character.” Such ignorant naivety and kindness would surely be her spiralling downfall.. Chishiya had taken advantage of that sort of kindness time and time again, and she’d be no exception.

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: Turn Troubles into Lessons, Not Annoyances

When you face the world, it may not always conform to your wishes. When the world does not smile at you, you have two options - you can turn experiences into annoyances, or you can turn them into lessons.

For someone who has not started cultivating, they will likely turn almost all unpleasant occurrences into annoyances, right? There are so many annoying things in life, like a newly bought sofa arranged in a way you dislike (because your wife insists on that arrangement), your son not completing assigned homework, or someone expressing a viewpoint you do not like. What will you do? You may feel you have no choice but to get angry or try to correct them. Trying to make the world conform to your desires is a huge and endless endeavor.

In contrast, a wise cultivator can turn anything into a lesson. A Tai Chi master can neutralize any attack and turn it to their advantage. You can do the same.

Buddhism believes nothing in the world intends to anger you. You only get angry because of your own attachments. When you clear out all those attachments, nothing will anger you anymore. But first you must find them, because they may be hiding in the dark corners where you don't notice them in daily life. Only when anger arises do they swiftly strike out to provoke you, then quickly retreat - so fast you barely notice their existence.

Buddhism says we get angry purely because of attachments. For example, when you hear an opinion (like fat people should not eat peanuts or they’ll get fatter), you may get very angry if you are fat, love eating peanuts, and don’t want to gain more weight.

But the same opinion may mean nothing to others. Perhaps only you get angry about it, while others think there is nothing wrong with that viewpoint. This shows the opinion itself has no inherent harm. It only hurts you when it clashes with your attachments. Otherwise, every person who heard it would be hurt, but that is not the case - only those with that attachment get hurt. A knife can be used to commit suicide or to cut vegetables, depending on how it is used. The knife itself will not hurt anyone. A good cultivator can use the knife to cut away their own troubles, a bad cultivator uses it to injure themselves. But that is not the knife's fault.

Based on this principle, anything can be turned into a lesson. For example, when you see a speck of dust on your husband's shoulder, you may feel very uneasy. If you don't brush it off, you will keep feeling bothered, constantly thinking about it. At that point, you can turn it into an annoyance or a lesson - you just need to persist in your attachment for it to become an annoyance. As long as dust remains on his shoulder, you cannot let go of it. You try to brush the dust off him, but that day he is in a bad mood and avoids letting you brush it off, so you get very angry and keep dwelling on the matter. This is how to turn something into an annoyance, which is what we usually do.

There is another way - to turn it into a lesson. When this matter makes you uneasy, you can observe your mind and ask why you feel uneasy - what attachment causes this? When you notice and capture it, it cannot freely vent its anger.

This is cultivation. Cultivation is not just the time you sit in the temple. You must learn to cultivate at all times, extending it to all areas, turning everything into lessons. Then you will not complain about lacking time to cultivate - any matter can be used for cultivation, just as they can also be used for annoyance.

There are these kinds of people in the world: one kind tries to attain peace by changing the external world, another finds peace by changing their inner world, and a third hopes to change both inner and outer worlds. Interestingly, among Buddhists there are those of the first kind, those of the second kind, and those of the third kind, but clearly, only the second kind are true Buddhists.

You cannot change everything - you neither have the time nor ability to do so. But you can change how you view things, change yourself. This is the most cost-effective and eco-friendly method. Those who try to change the world to suit themselves may make a mess too uncontrolled to clean up. Buddhism says we have always viewed the world incorrectly, and that is the source of our suffering. If you can view the world in another way, you can avoid much pain. Buddhism does not give you a different way of seeing things; it only wants to remove everything blocking your vision. Buddhism believes that ultimately, seeing the world in any way is wrong and limited.

I know some may feel Buddhism actually gives you a different perspective initially, and I admit that is true at the beginning, but ultimately, Buddhism does not do this. Remember, in the end, Buddhism wants you to abandon all perspectives.

Back to the earlier topic, we must understand that when you turn something into a lesson, it does not mean you should not brush the dust off your husband's shoulder. You can choose to brush it or not. If you brush it you will not feel relief; if you fail to brush it you will not get angry. This is what Buddhism requires you to accomplish. But it is still best if you brush it off, or else he may feel you do not care about him. This article was first published on October 22, 2008.

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灵山居士：转为道用，还是转为烦恼用