#and chris and julie make it so easy because | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gerrystamour · 1 year ago

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here i have found some peace of mind [chapter two]

Rated E | Steddie

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Steve gets to know 'Chris' a lot better. CW: This chapter deals a bit with dysphoria and deadnaming. Steve is deadnamed by a colleague in the chapter (which is based on a situation I actually went through and I'm personally working with HR to address). This chapter also delves into grief a little bit, particularly about the loss of a parent. Because apparently I not only wanted to process my Trans Feelings, but also my Grief Feelings. (Though my relationship with my dad before my dad passed was not strained) NOW INCLUDES AMAZING FANART drawn by my lovely lovely lovely friend Simon @sentient-trash !!

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longing for isolation, for starlit skies

Steve sat at his desk typing up an email to one of the event managers’ clients, quietly grumbling to himself about why he had to email them without any real heat. The managers were busy, and sometimes it just made more sense for Steve to email the clients outright. He would do it, he would just bitch about it while he did it.

“Steve.”

Looking up, he met Joyce’s eyes and cringed under her stern expression.

“Yes, Joyce?” he asked, but he already knew what this was about.

“I was looking through the turnovers. Did Nancy give you a group the other day?” she asked, and Steve looked at his computer.

“It’s just a band and film crew. I’ve already made contact with the client,” Steve said, his ears heating up when Joyce sighed.

“I’d like to speak to you in my office, please,” she said and walked away.

Sighing heavily, Steve finished the email he was working on, sent it, and locked his computer. When he got up and turned, Nancy was hovering at her cubicle and chewing her bottom lip.

“Sorry,” she mouthed, and Steve just rolled his eyes and trudged across the room to Joyce’s office and shut the door.

When he sat down heavily, Joyce sighed again.

“I’m not mad at you, Steve, so you can relax,” she soothed, and Steve tried to do just that. “I’m concerned because I don’t want you burning yourself out again.”

“I know. It’s just rooms, and it’s a band so it’s super easy,” Steve replied quickly. “She wanted me to handle it.”

“Then she should have turned it over properly and put it in the notes that she wanted you to handle it,” Joyce said sternly.

“Nancy seems to think that if she turned it over properly and asked for you to assign it to me, you would assign it to one of the other managers,” Steve said with a knowing raise of his eyebrows when Joyce looked away and cleared her throat. “C’mon, she has a point, Joyce.”

“That’s because if I agreed to assign every group she wants given to you, you would be back in the same mess you were last summer,” Joyce said a bit defensively. “Tell me about the group, and I’ll decide if you can keep it.”

“I already made contact with the client!” Steve said.

“And you were not actually assigned this group properly. If I decide I want to take the group from you, that is my decision to make as your manager,” Joyce said, standing her ground.

Steve sat up straighter and narrowed his eyes. “You would undermine your team like that in the eyes of the client?” he asked, and Joyce pursed her lips.

“And Nancy didn’t undermine me by assigning you a group?” she challenged, and Steve sighed heavily.

“It’s a band and film crew, about twenty rooms if I remember correctly. They’re arriving in July, have already sent the rooming list and the riders, and the tour manager has already received the confirmed rooming list,” Steve rattled off and leaned back in the chair to stare up at one of the motivational posters on the wall above his boss, getting ready for Joyce to take the turnover.

“Is there any catering?” she asked.

“Nope,” Steve replied, trying not to sound dejected. He really liked working with bands and film crews, so the two being combined? He was looking forward to it.

“Steve, you know I’m not trying to punish you, right?” Joyce asked imploringly.

“I know, but you’re also refusing to give me work that you know I actually enjoy,” he replied with a sigh as he looked back at her. “I know you’re worried about me burning out, but that means all I’ve gotten for almost a year has been small little meetings and pop-ups. I haven’t had a single tour, or band, or film crew in months and I’m starting to get sick of my work.”

“Why is this the first you’ve mentioned this?” Joyce asked, and Steve cringed at that.

“Because I knew you were just trying to help me, and I figured if I just kept going without complaining you’d stop babying me,” Steve replied honestly, shrugging one shoulder.

“Oh, Steve, I wasn’t trying to baby you or treat you like you were less capable,” Joyce replied with a big sigh. “And you telling me how you’re feeling about your work is not complaining.”

“Yeah, well,” Steve started, but just trailed off with another shrug. “Just… don’t give it to Tammy. She screws up rooms-only blocks like this every time, and I’ll practically be handling the group anyway.”

Joyce huffed a big sigh and shook her head. “You can keep this group. It has been a while, and I don’t want you burning out because you’re bored either,” she said and Steve looked at her, shocked. She still had a stern expression as she added, “I will be speaking to Nancy about going above me like that.”

“Of course,” Steve said quickly, so happy that he was keeping the group to feel bad that Nancy was going to get chewed out.

“And you! If you’re feeling that way about your work, you tell me, got it?” Joyce added firmly, pointing at him.

“Right, of course, absolutely,” Steve agreed, nodding quickly. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Joyce called and Tammy, one of the event managers, poked her head in.

“Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, but there’s someone calling for Steve?” she said with an apologetic grimace. “He said his name is Chris? I have him on hold right now.”

Steve nodded and turned to Joyce. “Are we good?” he asked, and Joyce smiled and nodded.

“Yep, we’re good,” she replied and waved him off.

When Steve got back to his desk, he heard Tammy speaking to Chris before she transferred the call. Steve picked up on the first ring.

“Good afternoon, Steve speaking?” he said quickly.

“Good afternoon, handsome. How are things going in hotel land?”

Steve chuckled and rolled his eyes a little bit. “Busy, as always. Can’t complain though,” he replied as he tapped his pencil against his notebook. “How can I help you, Chris?”

“What if I just wanted to hear your voice?” Chris teased, and Steve rolled his eyes.

“I’m on the clock. How can I help you?” Steve asked again, but there was a part of him that was still flattered by the attention, interested in the attention even.

And so began the almost-daily calls from Chris. Steve never actually reached out from his end because there was no reason for him to until they got closer to the actual stay. It was always Chris calling him to make requests, to discuss the area a bit more, or sometimes just to chat. As their work relationship progressed, Steve found it easier to fall into more friendly banter, even returning some of the flirting.

Steve still refused to try to find out who the band was or look Chris up, but mostly because he didn’t want to give a face to the man he was talking to on the phone just yet. He knew that if Chris was even half as hot as he sounded, he wouldn’t stand a chance.

As it stood, most days Chris would call, they would discuss matters pertaining to his band’s stay in July for five minutes, then spend the next twenty just talking about other stuff. Usually, it was just Steve talking about his job and complaining light-heartedly.

“The worst way to receive a rooming list is as a PDF,” Steve grumbled into the phone as he painstakingly copied and pasted a rooming list into a spreadsheet. “Please know that if a Group Housing Coordinator receives a rooming list as a PDF? They hate the client just a little bit.”

On the other end of the call, Chris chuckled before stopping abruptly. Steve smirked a bit as he could practically hear the dots connecting in Chris’ head.

“Didn’t we send our rooming list as a PDF?”

Steve snorted. “Maybe,” he replied cheekily, and Chris groaned.

“Is that why you are resisting my charm?” Chris whined and Steve laughed.

“That, and I’m also on the clock,” he reminded Chris teasingly.

“You could always give me your number?”

Steve sighed and thought back to the employee conduct manual. It would be wildly inappropriate to give a client his number. “Not while you’re my client,” he responded, resolving to pull out the conduct manual and read it over again.

“So… after?” Chris pressed and Steve laughed.

“I’m not making any promises, Chris,” Steve sighed, chewing his lip while a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

There was some shouting on the other end of the call and Chris sighed. “Alright, Stevie, that’s my cue to go in a bit. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

Steve almost said yes, but then remembered he had requested the next day off. “No, unfortunately I won’t be in the office tomorrow. I’m taking a personal day,” he replied.

“Oh, doing anything fun or interesting?” Chris asked, and Steve actually grinned at how interested he sounded.

“I wish. Uh, nah, I have appointments and then visiting a cemetery, so,” Steve trailed off with a shrug before cringing. Chris couldn’t see him shrugging, what the hell?

“Oh shit, sorry. That was really stupid of me to ask,” Chris said, and Steve laughed.

“It’s all good, man. I wouldn’t’ve answered if it bothered me,” he admitted and on the other end of the line, Chris chuckled lightly.

“That makes sense. I’ll talk to you another time then.”

“Or you could relax and not call me again about your stay in July,” Steve insisted as he always did when they were about to hang up.

“Mm, no. I think I’ll continue to micromanage our stay, just to keep you on your toes, Stevie,” Chris replied and then hung up.

Steve sighed with a little grin as he hung his receiver up, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully.

“What the hell was that, Dingus?”

Steve nearly jumped out of his skin and looked up at Robin peering over his cubicle with wide eyes.

“Nothing,” Steve lied, and he could feel his face burning with his blush.

“Stephen, are you flirting with a client?” she hissed as she hurried around the cubicle wall to sit on his desk.

“No,” Steve hissed back, glancing around but thankfully no one was paying attention. “No, he is flirting with me.”

Robin gasped dramatically. “He?” she asked excitedly.

“Did you need something? Because I’m kind of busy,” Steve said, shoving his glasses up to scrub at his face.

“I texted you about food in Dustin’s Office, but you didn’t respond so I came to find you,” she immediately replied, smiling when Steve locked his computer and got up.

“I’m definitely in,” he replied happily.

“We’re talking about everything I overheard tomorrow, you hear me, Harrington?” Robin said as they walked, pointing at him accusingly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve sighed, rolling his eyes with a chuckle.

❖

The next morning, Steve woke up with his normal alarm, even though he technically had the day off. It was a bit nice, being able to get up and not rush through his morning routine. He even had time to make a proper breakfast and eat it while listening to an audiobook.

Steve took his time in the shower and then shaving and doing his hair. With a small grimace, he put on gloves and tried to hold his breath as he smeared his testosterone gel on his shoulders. Holding his breath never seemed to work as the sting of the alcohol evaporating always hit his sinuses.

Once he was showered and groomed, Steve went back to his room to get dressed. “Robbie, time to get up!” he called as he passed Robin’s room, pounding on her door without pausing in his steps.

Forty-five minutes later, Steve and Robin were in the car on their way to the first of several errands and appointments. The two of them tried to schedule as many of their things for the same day as they could so Robin wouldn’t have to worry about catching the bus. Plus, it was generally just better to have company for errands and appointments.

“So, what’s up with you and your client?” Robin asked around a yawn, scrubbing her eyes. She had been working a huge dinner party until two in the morning the night before, and hadn’t gotten home until after three.

“Nothing is up, Robs,” Steve muttered, trying to recall the perfectly good explanations he had come up with for what she overheard yesterday but drawing a complete blank. “He just calls a lot, and he just flirts with me. It’s nothing.”

“Okay, but you were definitely flirting back,” Robin said, and Steve shot a quick glare at her. “C’mon, Steve, I can tell when you’re flirting, and you were definitely flirting. I’ve heard you shutting people down before and you were not doing that. Maybe you thought you were, but you weren’t.”

“Fine, maybe I was flirting back. It’s not like it matters, or like anything’ll come of it. He’ll get bored eventually, and he’s only going to be in town for like… three days,” Steve said explosively, running a hand through his hair. “If we hook-up, and that’s a huge if, it’ll be super casual because he’ll be off to the next place, so, whatever.”

There was a long pause, the silence between them deafening.

“Steve,” Robin finally started, and her voice was the gentle one she only brought out when Steve was being especially reckless. “You know how you are with casual…”

Cringing, Steve tried to wrangle up some kind of defense against that. But it was true, it was largely why he struggled so much with dating and a huge factor in why he and Nancy didn’t work out. Steve’s feelings for people seemed to move at the speed of light with zero in-between, whether they were platonic or romantic. The reason he only had one friend was thanks to Robin being very similar, or at least receptive to having someone immediately prepared to die for her after two proper conversations.

“Like I said, he’ll get bored eventually,” Steve said instead of addressing Robin’s point out loud. “It’s not like he even talks about himself much.”

“Maybe you should ask him about himself,” Robin suggested, shrugging when Steve glanced at her questioningly. “If he’s just in it for some casual sex while he’s in town, he’ll probably avoid opening up, right? But if not… just because he’s not in town long doesn’t mean it has to be casual.”

Steve considered Robin’s words for a few moments, rolling them around in his head. “Maybe,” he conceded after a bit, ignoring the smug smile that split Robin’s face.

A few hours later found the two of them at the big cemetery near the posh neighbourhood where Steve grew up in the suburbs. It was one of the errands Steve dreaded, but he did it every year anyway.

Steve didn’t like visiting graves. It felt performative, fake, like it was an act he was putting on. There were better places for him to visit where he felt closer to that person than their grave. But Steve knew that if his mom arrived tomorrow and there were no flowers from Steve on his dad’s grave, she would immediately call him and demand an explanation.

He didn’t hold it against her, not at all. Melissa Harrington was amazing, even if she wasn’t very present in Steve’s life as he was growing up. She was doing what she could to make up for that, and even now that Steve had moved out to the city, they met up regularly for brunch on the weekends.

Steve’s relationship with his dad had been strained just before his unexpected passing. Thomas Harrington had grand ideas about Steve’s future, and he pushed Steve hard to reach that potential. He hadn’t done it cruelly, by any means, just thoughtlessly and without considering Steve’s wishes at the time. When Steve had gotten his first job at a hotel and fallen in love with hospitality, Thomas was not very happy and made his displeasure known.

Ultimately, though, Thomas had been coming around. He’d started showing an interest in Steve’s work and growth at his property. They were fighting less and enjoying each other’s company more often again.

One of the last conversations Steve had with his dad had been an aborted attempt to come out of the closet. Steve never got the actual words— “Dad, I think I’m a boy…”—but there was something in the way Thomas had gripped his shoulder firmly and pulled him into a tight hug that said he knew and that it was okay.

If Steve had known he wouldn’t get another chance to try again…

After a lengthy walk, they finally arrived at Thomas’ grave and Steve immediately began tidying it up. The graveyard was well maintained, so there wasn’t much for him to do, but it felt better fussing over brushing grass off the gravestone than just standing there. Once he was done, Steve laid the flowers on the grave and stood back up.

Robin had joined Steve on his annual visit to his dad’s grave since the first anniversary of his passing. She never questioned why he didn’t say anything when he was there, and she never tried to make him. It was the one reason he always visited the day before the actual anniversary to avoid running into his mom. Melissa would spend hours at Thomas’ grave talking to the gravestone, and she didn’t understand why Steve couldn’t.

It just felt weird to talk to a slab of granite in the middle of a silent field of slabs of granite. The body six feet below them wasn’t his dad anymore; that body stopped being his dad suddenly and quietly—painlessly, the doctors all insisted—in the middle of the night seven years ago.

“Need more time, Dingus?” Robin asked quietly, and Steve took a deep breath. Reaching up to rub his eyes, he found that he’d been crying.

Quickly wiping the tears off his cheeks, Steve shook his head. “No, I’m good,” he said, and he sighed happily when Robin tucked herself under his arm.

“We should get take-out tonight. We earned it after all our running around, yeah?” she said and wrapped her arm around Steve’s waist.

Steve smiled and nodded. “Yeah, take-out sounds perfect,” he hummed, tugging Robin in tightly against his side to kiss the top of her head.

❖

Returning to work the next day was hard, but Steve needed to keep up the momentum. If he took the rest of the week off like his mom always tried to get him to do, Steve would wallow and come back to work in a worse mood.

Unfortunately for him, he had the absolute displeasure to open his emails to find one of the above-property sales managers deadnaming him to not one, not two, but three different clients.

It wasn’t the first time she used his deadname in an email directly with a client. She did that a lot, and Steve was endlessly patient about it because he knew this came with the territory of not legally changing his name yet. The main system where this sales manager would see his name still had his legal one, and Steve reasoned that she oversaw too many properties to remember his preferred name.

It was different this time.

Good afternoon Martha,

Thank you so much for reaching out about your request to add more rooms to your block! I am connecting you with my amazing on-property colleague Carly (Steve) who will follow-up with you if they have availability. She will be delighted to assist you.

It was the first time she added his preferred name in parentheses like that with a double-whammy of using the wrong pronouns. Steve stared at the email, and then the other two and, yup, sure enough she did the same exact thing in every email. The kicker for him was the fact that the sales manager had, at some point, added her pronouns in her signature.

Steve drafted an absolutely scathing email that would absolutely get him fired if he actually hit send. The vent helped a bit, so he deleted it and focused on actioning the requests and replying to the clients. His signature obviously had his proper name and pronouns, so he hoped politely responding would make her look like the moron she was to the clients.

But he was set even further off-kilter by the whole interaction. On top of his grief, he felt like he was drifting outside of his body, above it and slightly to the left so that he could observe himself. Everything felt wrong, things he hadn’t felt dysphoria over in years crawling back up to suffocate him.

He felt nauseous at the way his hands moved on the keyboard or lifted his cup of coffee to his lips, the way he crossed his ankles under his chair or waved to Nancy as she walked past. Steve laughed at a joke Tammy told him, and the sound of it in his ears was like shards of glass and he just barely concealed his grimace long enough for Tammy to turn away. Steve caught himself chewing his nails at some point because they were too long, people could tell.

Steve was proudly out as trans. He managed to get his pronoun and pride pins approved against his property’s dress code and all of his public social media disclosed that he was trans. All anyone had to do was look him up online and they would know.

That didn’t mean he wanted to be seen as trans all the time.

He knew he was fortunate enough that HRT treated him well and he had been able to afford top surgery, so he “passed” pretty well. That meant he could have the safety of people’s assumptions in situations where that person might be hostile if they found out. Passing made his job a lot easier, even if a lot of his work with clients happened over emails and only face-to-face once they came to the hotel.

To be outed from the get-go in those emails? It, quite frankly, sucked.

The giant shit cherry on top of the shit sundae was that Steve had to renew his security badge with the airport that day, too.

All of his paperwork was under his legal name, obviously, but the security agent the year before had let him put his preferred name on his badge. When he made the same request to the agent this year, she argued with him about it in front of the other people in the pass office. The agent only agreed to put his preferred name on the badge when her manager came around to investigate the hold-up and gave her a stern look.

If Steve wasn’t so raw from everything else, he would have been grateful. However, he just felt sick, like he had bullied them into letting him keep a badge that didn’t have his deadname on it.

Like he was getting away with something because he was a big enough dick about it.

By the time he returned to his desk, he had more emails from the bitch from sales and one of the clients responded asking who “Carly” was, and Steve was ready to go home.

Just then, his phone rang, and he couldn’t even muster the energy to check who it was.

“Chicago In-Terminal Hotel Events, this is Steve speaking. How can I assist you?” he rattled off in his best customer-service voice given the circumstances.

“Heya, Stevie! You kinda sound like shit, man.”

Steve laughed humourlessly, even as something loosened in his chest at hearing Chris’ voice. “Thank God someone knows how to use my actual name,” he blurted before he could stop himself.

There was a pause before Chris sternly said, “Of course. What sort of asshole doesn’t use your actual name if they know it?”

“You’d be surprised,” Steve said vaguely, minimizing his emails so he didn’t have to look at them while on the phone with Chris. “What’s up, Chris?”

“Honestly? I’m just kind of bored and I missed chatting with you yesterday,” Chris replied, and his tone was so sincere that Steve felt bad that he was in such a messed up mood. “I know you’re on the clock, but if you have time…?”

Steve tapped his pencil against his notebook as he considered. He was in a rotten mood, but he already felt himself settling back into his skin, feeling a lot less jagged and wrong just after a couple minutes listening to Chris’ voice. That was a bit scary to consider, given the nature of their relationship. This guy shouldn’t have that much power over Steve’s moods, yet he did.

Remembering Robin’s suggestion from the day before, Steve decided to try that.

“Listen, Chris, I’ve had a really shitty day and talking about myself would suck for you,” Steve started slowly, taking a deep breath. “Maybe you could tell me about you? It feels like I do most of the talking…”

There is another long pause. “I dunno, man, there isn’t much to say about myself…”

Steve’s stomach dropped at the deflection. So, did that mean the interest was just casual on Chris’ end? He didn’t want to open up because he was just looking for a quick fuck, nothing more? Steve lied to himself and decided he could live with that, probably.

“Okay, sure. I’ll have to talk to you some other time then,” Steve said, his voice going tight.

“Steve, wait, don’t hang up. I didn’t—there’s just not a lot to talk about that isn’t already all over the internet, y’know?” Chris laughed a bit and added very quietly, “like, I’m surprised we’re even still talking at all at this rate.”

Steve frowned at the last bit, and reconsidered his decision not to sleuth out who the band was. Were there some shady details surrounding Chris Cunningham or the band he was managing the tour for?

“Dude, you—I haven’t even looked up the band you’re managing. I have no idea who you are,” Steve admitted, and the startled laugh he received brought a smile to his face. “Besides, why would I take what the internet says about you when I could get the real details directly from the source? Would you look at my socials and decide you knew me based on that?”

Chris chuckled. “I mean, I have peeked at your socials, Steve,” he confessed, and Steve felt his blush all the way down to his bellybutton. “I didn’t do much digging, I promise! I just—I’m very visual and wanted to put a face to your voice.”

“No, you’re all good, my public socials are, well, public for a reason,” Steve said with a laugh, chewing his lip a bit. “You, uh, like what you saw?”

Chris gave a quiet groan. “You’ve no idea, big boy,” he confessed softly, his voice deep and rumbling through the line, raising goosebumps up the back of Steve’s neck. Then Chris took a deep breath and asked, “okay, Stevie, what do you want to know about me?”

Everything, Steve almost said, and he barely stopped himself. “You mentioned your uncle once. Can you tell me about him?” he said instead, and Chris’ laugh was beautiful.

“My Uncle Wayne, literally one of the best things to ever happen to me, honestly,” Chris sighed.

“Only one of the best things?” Steve questioned curiously.

“I mean, the band actually breaking onto the scene makes that list,” Chris laughed, then added, “getting to talk to you is on there, too.”

“Shut up,” Steve laughed, blushing at how genuine Chris managed to make that absolute line sound. “Okay, tell me about your uncle.”

“Uncle Wayne basically raised me. I lived with my own folks until I was like, thirteen? I think? Then moved in with Wayne. My old man wasn’t a fan of my lifestyle and all that,” Chris explained, his tone flippant, like it didn’t hurt anymore, but Steve had a feeling that wasn’t true.

“It sucks that your parents were like that,” Steve said quietly, hoping Chris heard the sincerity in his voice.

“Yeah, but hey, I wouldn’t’ve met the boys or—yeah, the boys, y’know? Wayne taught me everything I know about guitars and music and shit,” Chris said fondly.

“You play guitar?” Steve pushed, a little embarrassed at how much more attractive Chris was with that little bit of new information.

There was silence over the line for several moments, long enough for Steve to get concerned the call was about to drop when Chris finally said, “Yeah, uh, like a little bit? I don’t play as much as I used to, and obviously not good enough to actually be in the band or anything.”

Chris was laughing at that in a way that didn’t quite sound forced but it didn’t sound real either. “Well, I still think that’s really cool. Always had a thing for musicians,” he teased instead, smirking at the startled laugh that bubbled out of Eddie.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Stevie,” Chris said, his voice low in a way that had Steve shivering.

The next couple of weeks passed with daily phone calls from Chris where he vaguely talked about his life prior to the band taking off, about the band mates and their antics. He mentioned a YouTube channel briefly once, and Steve was tempted to find it but… he liked getting to know Chris without that crutch. Steve liked the mystery of not knowing what Chris looked like.

Steve was really smitten with the way Chris talked about the people in his life, the way his tone would turn so painfully affectionate that Steve could see the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Did Chris have dimples? He hoped Chris had dimples. Steve was always a sucker for dimples. Steve couldn’t help but wonder if Chris told his friends about their conversations, and if Chris spoke about him with that same tone.

If Steve also became a bit more active and a bit sluttier on his socials knowing Chris was maybe monitoring them, that was his business.

“You seem really close with the band for a tour manager,” Steve commented one day after Chris told him a funny story about the frontman nearly falling off the stage during a recent soundcheck. Apparently, he went to lean on his cane purely out of habit, forgetting he wasn’t using it at that moment, and was barely saved by one of the other band members.

“We’ve all been best friends since, like, middle school,” Chris said quietly, and Steve’s smile was big enough to hurt his face. “The band got serious about the dream in high school and then the five of us just… did what we had to to stay together.”

“That’s amazing. I only have, like, one friend that I’ve had more than a year,” Steve said, and he cringed at how pathetic that sounded.

“C’mon, no way,” Chris laughed, and Steve cringed again.

“I’m serious, man. I was… I used to be an asshole,” Steve confessed lightly, thinking back to the way he was in high school and his only attempt at college.

It was a lot of desperately performing a gender that felt wrong and overcompensating for his feelings of inadequacy. He remembered the way he lashed out and held people at arm’s length, the way he would sling cutting remarks at anyone who seemed to be thriving in their own weirdness. How dare they be weird and happy, when Steve had been trying so hard to be normal and was so miserable for it?

Steve felt bad for Carly when he looked back on those memories. She wasn’t real and, on some level, she knew that, even back then when she had no vocabulary for it. Not being real was scary, confusing, painful, and like a wounded animal she bit and clawed anyone who came near enough to see how hollow she was.

That didn’t mean Steve stood by those actions, that he didn’t feel immensely guilty for them, but he was working on showing compassion to that part of himself. It was something he learned in therapy the handful of times he actually went.

“Hm, well, you don’t seem like an asshole anymore,” Chris said, breaking Steve out of his thoughts.

“I’m trying everyday not to be,” Steve agreed, smiling as he tapped his pencil against his notebook.

Chris paused for a bit, sighing. “Go to dinner with me,” he said abruptly. “We’re at the hotel for three nights, right? Go to dinner with me.”

Steve’s breath left him in a whoosh at the blunt request. It was more of a command and that thought left Steve feeling a bit lightheaded. “You’re my client—” Steve started, and Chris made a bit of a noise.

“The way I see it, I stop actually being your client at five that Friday when you clock-out, right?” Chris said a bit suggestively, and Steve blushed.

Steve had looked up the employee conduct manual and the official rules were that dating clients was allowed as long as it happened off the clock and off-property. Their phone calls were blatantly against those rules, but they discussed enough about the room block each time to justify the conversations a little bit.

“Stevie?” Chris sounded so unsure that Steve instantly felt bad for letting his brain run away with him.

“It definitely has to be when I’m off the clock, and we can’t have dinner on-property,” Steve practically whispered into the phone and Chris made a triumphant little noise that brought a grin to Steve’s face.

“Fuck yeah, Stevie, I can’t wait! I know the perfect place!” Chris gushed and then some shouting in the background caught Chris’ attention. “Yeah! I know—I’ll be there in a—fuck off Garebear, I’ll fucking cut you—Stevie, I gotta go, okay?”

Steve laughed and nodded. Grimacing as he reminded himself that Chris couldn’t see him, Steve said, “yeah, of course. Talk to you later.”

“You know it, gorgeous,” Chris cooed and then dial-tone was droning in Steve’s ear.

It took Steve probably a full minute to actually hang the receiver up and wipe the grin off his face.

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Thank you so much for reading! Please consider reblogging!! Taglist! @scarcrossdlvrs, @sidekick-hero, @afewproblems, @mylilplanet, @starryeyedjanai, @steddieas-shegoes, @estrellami-1, @hellion-child, @princess-eddie, @pluckedstrings, @patchworkgargoyle, @findafight, @spookednsaucy, @inairbinad, @lillemilly, @matchingbatbites, @lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus, @scoops-stevie, @steddierthings, @bylerwillnotwriteitself, @indigohightide, @vecnuthy, @stobinesque If you want to join the taglist, just request it in the tags or reblog comments!!

#steddie #steve x eddie #steve/eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie fic #gerry writes #peace of mind

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try-set-me-on-fire · 1 year ago

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Can I do a soft prompt not on the list ? I love your writing 😊 Buck and Eddie driving back from a zoo trip or something with Chris and Chris falling asleep in the back seat.

Going to count this under “road trip” for list checking purposes. Send me soft prompts! Find the finished ones on ao3!

Sometime in May when the end of school was weeks away but felt like eternity even to a kid who liked the place, Eddie had come home from running errands to find Buck and Chris laying out flat on the living room floor marking up a giant piece of paper. Eddie doesn’t know where they got it - it must be 18x24 at least - or why the floor was the best option for putting it to use - a mystery shortly solved by finding the remains of lunch still scattered over the kitchen table - but Eddie is careful not to step on it or any stray limb or crayon as he makes his way through to put groceries away. When anything perishable is safe someplace cold he comes back to sit between them, at the long edge of the sheet.

“What are you up to?”

“Read the paper, dad,” Chris says, exasperated. Eddie makes a face at him, and Buck tries not to laugh from his spot on the floor. The two of them share a look before Eddie puts his attention on Buck and Christopher’s work. Written at the top of the paper in chunky block letters is BIG SUMMER IDEAS, decorated by a smiling sun with cool guy shades and what Eddie assumes is a flamingo judging by the shades of pink. There’s more writing all over the page, half of it upside down because Chris is laying along the top edge. Eddie picks out BEACH DAY and GARDEN WITH PEPPA and NEW PIZZA (RESTAURANT? INVENT?) and, mirrored in both hand writings and circled twice, ZOO.

“You two aren’t sick of the zoo by now?” Eddie asks, and then raises his hands when they both look scandalized.

“Never!” Buck proclaims. “Besides, San Diego and Santa Barbara are both not that far away, we thought we’d maybe try and branch out.”

Chris nods seriously. “We need to expand our zoo repertoire,” he says, confident around the big new vocabulary word.

“Alright,” Eddie gives in, easily. “This is a big list, we gotta do all of these? I don’t know if we’ll have the time…”

Buck pushes himself up to sitting, and shrugs. “Just ideas. We were getting antsy waiting for Summer, huh?” Chris nods emphatically and Buck grins at him, before looking back at Eddie a little less sure. “Thought we’d write out some things to look forward to. We- you don’t have to do all, or any-“

“We’re definitely going to the zoo,” Chris frowns.

“Except for the zoo, of course.” He still has that look on his face, like he’s overstepped somehow, and Eddie wants to say please don’t apologize for finding a way to make Chris happy when he’s feeling down, and of course “we,” of course you’re coming with us, I haven’t the first idea how to invent new pizza.

“It’s a good list,” is what he says. “We’ll see what we can pack in there.”

That was May, and it’s the end of July now, and history books worth of things have happened in between, and Buck and Eddie’s Relationship (capital R, for Romance) is so new it’s stumbling around on doe legs. Eddie thinks they’ve spent years planting a pretty nice meadow for it to stumble around in, though, and taking his hand in public for the first time ever as they trail Chris around the Santa Barbara Zoo is easy as anything. It helps that they both start laughing - giggling, really, he’s a grown man giggling at the zoo - whenever they make eye contact. They hold hands in front of an island full of tiny little monkeys, and in a cave where you can watch penguins swim around, and by the statue of the giraffe with the crooked neck, and on the train that loops around the whole thing and gets so close to the lion enclosure that it’s almost a little frightening. They spend a fair amount of time not holding hands, too, as Buck and Chris pour over every informational plaque in the place. Eddie is perfectly content to watch them have at it and provide sunscreen reapplications and snacks, probably smiling just as sappily at his two favorite people in the world having a good time as he did at holding hands (holding hands!) with his boyfriend (boyfriend!).

They only stay at the zoo until about four, but they’d had to get up at the crack of dawn to make it up the coast in a reasonable amount of time, especially with the mess of construction Buck had to white knuckle through on the northbound 101 past Ventura. Chris is starting to wilt a little, and Eddie’s running on several cups of coffee, and even Buck has yawned once or twice by the time they’re eating an early dinner at a sandy little outdoor restaurant close to the beach outside of town. A train goes right past during the meal and all three of them stand up for a good look, Buck hefting Chris up on his back for a better vantage point. If Eddie gets distracted by watching the joy on their faces instead of the train, well, his sappiness was never going to be contained just within the walls of the zoo. He finds it a little hard to believe, sometimes, the amount of happiness he gets to experience. It jostles around inside of him like loose parts, or a bag of treasure. He’s been happy before, he’s been happy for years here in LA with the family of the 118 taking root around him, but it’s felt… more, these days, almost dizzying since he and Buck had either suddenly or finally closed the distance. It bubbles away inside of him, somewhere near Camarillo with Chris falling asleep in the back seat and pink California summer sunset light washing over them all. Buck’s got the windows rolled down just a little, to feel the air, and the radio is on low, and Eddie has been trying to leave less things unspoken, so.

“Thank you.”

Buck glances at him with a little smile, then looks back at the road. “For what?”

Eddie shrugs, because how is he supposed to encompass all of it with words? “For driving. For coming with us. For holding my hand.”

Buck’s laugh is just a soft exhale. “I should be thanking you for all that.”

“Even the driving?”

“Okay, well, the construction was bad, but yeah even the driving. You know I don’t mind it.” Buck’s smile is still small, and it feels important, suddenly, to try and get across the enormity of all this.

“Thank you for- everything, Buck. For inventing new pizza.”

Buck laughs loud, and then sheepishly checks Chris in the rear view mirror. Still sleeping. “I don’t think we’ve quite perfected it yet,” he says, quietly. “Give me a few more tries.”

Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t know how to- the time you give us, the- everything- Do you know? How happy you make us? Make me?”

Buck glances at him, twice, three times, keeps his eyes back on the road. “It feels like…” Buck is almost whispering, and gestures at his chest. “Like that little bag of rocks Chris got at the gift shop.”

Eddie laughs, folding a little closer to Buck, because a bag of treasure, they’re sharing metaphors. “Yeah. Like that.”

“I know,” Buck says, like he can’t believe it sometimes either. “You know? Me- me too?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I know." There's hardly been any complete sentences in this conversation but Eddie thinks they've never really needed words to communicate anyway. He knows. Buck knows. "We've still got 23 items on the list."

Buck laughs, and lets go of the steering wheel to grab Eddie's hand again. "Well, tomorrow's a new day. Summer's not over yet."

Eddie thinks, holding Buck's hand with Chris sleeping in the back, on the road headed home, that with each other summer is never going to end.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #my writing #I feel like the two modes of my writing are ADHD or Vibey #and this straddles the two so. sorry. or you’re welcome?#also wrote part of it in the drive through of an in n out

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fandomfluffandfuck · 2 months ago

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Romeo & Juliet by Peter McPoland is SO evanstan you don’t understand

its literally all I think about when I hear that song

"Someday, down the road, I hope to be your Romeo I'll climb the wires to your landline While you're crying on the telephone And you're sitting, feet dangling Cheeks so rosy red and saying "Baby, I was so upset, I thought you'd never set me free" "Hello?" I'd say, "Oh, I love you" to my Juliet If you only knew, I'd kill for you, I am for you I am just who you need me to be Let's get down, and let's grow old This fire escape is getting cold I love that dress, I love the rest Of all that you've got going on One day when the lines have all been read and memorized I hope you mean it when you say that I am yours and you are mine Singing down here, on my knees I'm begging, "Won't you marry me?" I love that dress, I love the rest So Julie make me go, go on But how do you know? Is it just something hits you? Yes (look, just do a bit for me) No (no, I don't, I don't mean it, I don't mean it) I mean just the words Um (no, my babe, it's done so many times) Oh for goodness sake Alright do another bit, any bit Um... Oh God I have nothing to fucking sing"

Aw!

That's so fucking cute, like I know how Romeo and Juliet ends so it's not cute there, but, like, the song is really sweet. Also, I love the part about memorizing and reading lines for them <3 that and the mention of fire escapes because fire escapes will ever be attached to pre-war stucky for me, so, in a song about evanstan, it seems like it connects their origin back to those days when they were first cast together. Sweethearts

Thanks for sharing!!

You have a very wholesome song that makes you think of evanstan, but you know what songs make me think about them the most? Rumors by Jake Miller and Strange Love by Halsey. Both of them are much less wholesome songs 💀💀

For some reason, I can only link the live version? Idk, listen to the normal one, haha, I enjoy that recording much more

Rumors feels self-explanatory, like, that's just easy to picture--what if the tabloids caught wind of evanstan? Shit would go insane.

Strange Love is less obvious and more about the fact that I've been meaning to, for literal years, write an evanstan fic using that song. But-! It's still so coded for them: the fucking in the bathroom reads like quickies, the fame of it all, everyone wanting to know, the lyric "you walk like you're a god" makes me think of Chris and his insane strut and "I made you weak" for Sebastian, the saying your name, the keeping it a secret but letting everyone see it, etc.

Yeah 😮‍💨😮‍💨

Thanks again!

#asks #evanstan #chris evans #sebastian stan #rpf #Spotify

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capoteera · 22 days ago

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4days ago

CapT:

Like tell us, when does Sacrifice wrap then huh? Because the crew member posted Day 11 of 47, making the filming go until November 15th.

Rogers:

Looks like they are on day 11 of 47. Safe to assume filming ends November 15.

Yesterday/today:

Capt:

If a crew person said loosely "3 months" they're gonna be in the hotel, then again, there's multiple UNITS people, Greece is also next door to Bulgaria, so you'll just have to wait and see.

He’s filming in Bulgaria until December - test me on that one

Sorry I know we shouldn’t give Capt and her crew any time of day but this point out some inconsistencies. First they were the ones to claim it finished in November based on a crew member then changed it to Dec based on a hotel staff comment. Test her it’s not even her information what’s to test.

So just goes to show they do in fact know nothing about the shitty movie they can to not be interested in.

Now don’t get me started on the immigration status as someone who has worked with many different types of visa nothing is as straight forward as it says on the website. Every situation is different. Example a foreign national living in LA married her American fiancé in PT and then travelled back to the US within a month and has travelled in and out of the country since. They got their green card 6 months after their marriage. (any guesses who🤭) Then you have 2 American celebrities marrying foreign actress in 2 ceremonies in US and overseas. One married in Vegas then travelled to France for another ceremony before return US and again traveling in and out of the US. Another married overseas first and once again travelled back to the US soon afterwards and continued to travel. I don’t remember anyone questioning their visa status and I know some just refuse to acknowledge what visa AB had at the time because it doesn’t fit their narrative hence why they scream she has no US reps. (funny her last 2 movies are by US production companies)As for marriage certificate who’s to say they even lodge it in MA and just did PT? For all their screaming it’s not as easy especially PT to obtain and let’s face it if PR found it there is no way they are going to produce it. First it exposes the fact they lied to officials about why they required it and their real details would be officially recorded.

Yes Capt you can share your ‘husbands’ experience but again I can give you a hundred different ones. The point is you can’t guess what an actress’s status is and say with confidence what it is. Now as to the latest claim:

I don’t get or know why you all don’t get shit . Most PR stunts are public two years.

Count fucking backwards and get back to me . And NO, crumbs don’t count. Public! Public means revealed …. God . I’m not explaining it again.

One from their ‘anon’:

I myself remember regina actually theorizing this would be 2 years public . that makes it November 10 that it hits that mark doesn't it? maybe these fucks should just go hang out on the edge of a cliff. Just be sure not to sneeze. Now according to Capt this was meant to be over April 2023, then July 2023, then September 2023 then it was oh he signed another contract because of the strike then July 2024 it ended and there was a small window of opportunity to end it. Then it moved out to 14 October then end of October now it’s Nov the 2 year anniversary of reveal. Once again claiming they don’t care and saying they don’t know when it’s coming no one does but Chris and the ‘writers’ but now:

None of us care because we know that’s coming and when.

So guess we will see what happens and I see it’s back to calling him coke head.

Let’s just also point out Capt has been wrong more than right with her claims and she has made some pretty obvious blunders which long time Chris fans quickly picked up on. Let’s say about the wedding there is more evidence to something happening in MA and PT with family and friends in the locations and people saying they were there and pics from friends/family at the locations. And don’t start about the weather if a friggin MLB game could be played late afternoon/night & his niece can have a petting zoo outside under a tent supposedly on his front lawn then a wedding could take place add on he and his sisters were meant to have been seen out and about that day.🤦🏻‍♀️

Thank you for this! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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heartlandians · 2 months ago

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Hundreds of fans expected to participate in Heartland's Fans Extras Day for big rodeo scene

If there is one drawback to using a group of devoted fans as extras on a TV series, it’s that they tend to be a little too well-behaved.

On Monday, July 15, the CBC fan-favourite family drama, Heartland, will hold its traditional fans extra day, where roughly a thousand fans from around the globe are expected to serve as extras during a big rodeo scene shot in Millarville.

The episode, which will air as part of Season 18 of the series, is being directed by Michelle Morgan, who has also played Lou Fleming since the series began back in 2007. She has directed a number of episodes for the series and this is the second time she has directed on fan day. The biggest challenge is not the fans’ lack of experience on set. They take instruction very well. In fact, a little too well, she says.

“They are so well-behaved because they are so excited to be there that they’ll all follow the instructions,” Morgan says “When you watch the coverage of the audience, it’s almost too uniform. Everybody is doing the exact same thing. Whereas if you are looking at a real crowd, sometimes people are listening, sometimes people are drinking a beer, sometimes they are chatting with their girlfriend. So that’s one thing I find challenging as a director.”

The episode with be the fifth in Season 18, which begins airing in the fall. As in year’s past, a call went out over social media in late June and on the Heartland blog for fans to participate.

Within 72 hours, thousands had responded. Last year, fans came from Brazil, Australia and throughout the U.S. Fans chosen this year were informed by July 9. The set is not open to the public.

The scene requiring extras will revolve around a rodeo in Hudson, the fictional Alberta town where Heartland takes place. The broad strokes of the storyline will involve most the main characters, with major arcs involving Amy Fleming (played by Amber Marshall), her grandfather Jack Bartlett (Shaun Johnston) and father Tim Fleming (Chris Potter.)

Fans will be on set for roughly four hours and the day will include interactions with the cast, Morgan says.

“We always make it fun for fans, the people who come from far and wide,” Morgan says. “Shaun makes it really fun, he’ll always do a pushup competition with someone or a race or something. Amber is really great, she’ll come out on a horse and explain what we’re filming and how things work behind the scenes. I’ll come and answer questions and chat with people. We always wish people a happy birthday and we take some questions as well. It’s super fun for the fans.”

The fans who sign up come from all walks of life and are of various ages, just like the show’s audience in general. Heartland is the longest-running hour-long series in the history of Canadian television but has a world-wide following. According to the Nielsen ratings of 2023, Heartland is one of the Top 10 most viewed shows across all streaming services .In 2023, Americans watched 22.8-billion minutes of Heartland. It is the only Canadian produced and set series in the Top 10 and falls just below Friends, Gilmore Girls and Big Bang Theory.

The fan days are held in appreciation of the show’s strong following, but also offer eye-opening insight of how television sets operate.

“The biggest misconception is that it’s glamorous and it’s easy and we’re sitting around on set sipping champagne sitting on cushions,” Morgan says. “The set is a really hard-working place. There’s a lot of bright lights. It’s hot, it’s stuffy. We work very long hours. It’s definitely not as glamorous and people may think.”

Season 18 of Heartland will air in the fall.

Source

#heartland #michelle morgan #interview #director #season 18 #18x05 #calgary herald #fan day #it's old but i didn't post it at the time

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somuchyoudontknow · 1 year ago

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"....They need to keep his name in the news. It seems plausible if they use this pr to create the hype before dropping content for jinx products. This pr has failed to boost his image but it is still serving its purpose for Alba's image, promotion of European movies and promotion of Jinx products."

I would say its the other way around. They are not using this PR relationship to promote Jinx. They are using jinx to help either sell or balm( make easy to swallow) this "relationship". I would say Jinx is being used to distract rather than promote or ride the wave of the "relationship"

Until she pops up pushing Jinx or feeding Jinx to Dodger or them taking a cute couple with dog picture proclaiming " we are a Jinx family" I will say it just coincidence. Jinx can't stop promoting just because he has a whack PR relationship to fulfill. He is and was already gonna be the celebrity face of Jinx long before this thing started.

Your analysis might be right, Anon. We don't have enough data to support the idea that Jinx promotion might also be linked to this PR directly. A friend noticed some interesting links between the PR drops and Jinx promotion and from the data it seemed like Jinx might be connected to it as well.

My friend has sent me some data from Similarweb, web analytics platform. She doesn't have free access to it so she could only get data for the last three months. Free version provides the data for 3 months (March, April, May)

This data is not enough. But we can observe something very interesting here. Jinx got a decrease in all brand categories when the media stopped publishing articles about them, and an increase in April/May when they again started to promote their PR.

There was a Jinz reel in March, Alba liked it but there were no articles. In April Alba attended the premiere. In May all this happened:

May 16th - Dodger post (Alba liked it)

May 17th - Chris reblogged Jinx post

May 19th - Alba posted photo dump including Dodger pic (Joana and Justin liked and commented it within an hour, Chris liked it) & new old pic from Ghosted set with Chris and Dodger & Jinx Reel

Data:

My friend would like to see data for Jun in the month of July and then we might get a clear picture of what might be the connection between Jinx and the PR and if Jinx is really being used for promotion alongside this PR.

#chris evans pr #chris-evans #alba-baptista #jinx

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adamwatchesmovies · 1 year ago

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Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

Each viewing of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World reveals new depths to its narrative and humour, making its failure at the box office an even bigger shame. Well, better late than never. Go in for the memorable characters, arresting visual style, humour, and creative story. Come back to catch all the gags you missed. See it a third time to see what this movie is REALLY about.

22-year-old Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) is a slacker musician dating 17-year-old high schooler Knives Chau (Ellen Wong). He's with her because he knows it’ll go nowhere. It's only a matter of time before he dumps her, which will be easy. Enter Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Promptly ditching Knives for the Amazon delivery girl of his dreams, Scott learns he must defeat her seven evil exes before they can date.

If the plot sounds crazy, it is. Director Edgar Wright (who co-wrote the screenplay with Michael Bacall, based off the comic series by Bryan Lee O’Malley) injects special effects in nearly every scene. References and Easter eggs to video games are everywhere in the form of health meters, bonus points, sound cues, non-sequiturs, and more. You can have a great time with a notepad playing “spot the reference” but it’ll be tough. There are so many and the deluge of gags is one hell of a distraction. It’s an outlandish tale with many characters and to ensure you never forget who’s who, we have a hugely talented cast bringing these quirky people to life. Kieran Culkin as Scott’s gay and very seductive roommate, Chris Evans, Brandon Routh, Jason Schwartzman and more as Ramona’s evil exes, Anna Kendrick as Scott’s disapproving younger sister, Aubrey Plaza, Brie Larson, Alison Pill, Johnny Simmons and Mark Webber as Scott’s friends/bandmates... Every time one of them appears on-screen again, you perk up. What hilarious new line are they going to deliver? It never fails. You always laugh out loud.

This is sort of a “battle of the bands” movie, meaning you get all sorts of musical talents adding extra oomph to the dazzling visuals. The score & soundtrack is another character, another reason to re-watch the film so you can properly see (well, hear) how every note perfectly compliments the characters’ actions and the point we’re at in the story.

While you’re dazzled by the audio and visual, you might overlook one of the most important aspects of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: its theme. Those references to bands and video games? They’re just gravy. The fact is, this movie has a great message. It’s not actually about battling a bunch of crazy enemies in order to get a prize lady. All that’s a metaphor. What this movie is actually about is a slacker, a person you’re not really supposed to like. Scott is lazy and he’s stringing Knives along. Even when it’s obvious he wants to move on to the new hot thing, he takes way too long to admit it. When he does get with “the girl of his dreams”, he takes forever to get over the fact that she has a past, that Ramona broke some hearts and was selfish in her past relationships despite Scott having done the same thing to Knives. The battles he fights are actually against himself. To win Ramona, what he must actually do is learn humility and self-respect. This is what pushes Scott Pilgrim vs. the World from being “merely” good to being great. If you really look at it, you’ll learn something.

I might change my mind about this the next time I view it but right now, the only flaw I’ll bring up is the running time. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World a fast-paced, highly economical movie, which makes seven evil exes A LOT of enemies. The combat actually winds up slowing the film down and I can think of a couple of bad guys who could’ve been removed without losing much. Otherwise, it’s an instant favorite. You’ll want to come back to it over and over thanks to its unmistakable style, the ample creative choices made throughout, the humor and the characters. (On Blu-ray, July 24, 2020)

#scott pilgrim vs. the world #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #edgar wright #michael bacall #bryan lee o'malley #michael cera #mary elizabeth winstead #kieran culkin #chris evans #anna kendrick #alison pill #brandon routh #jason scwartzman #2010 movies #2010 films

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nancydrewwouldnever · 7 months ago

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To be honest, I was surprised how fast his agency found him a replacement third project in the form of Pain Hustlers.//

That whole movie happened fast. The rights brought in May, Chris casted beginning of July and filming started later that month.

I wonder if they already had him in mind and once PA was delayed they moved in.

I think it was easy to make it happen that fast because the whole production was CAA-backed and controlled. All the people working on it in big roles were CAA clients. I think CAA therefore had the ability to just stick him in when the Project Artemis conflict came up. I don't know if it really means he was already considered for it, so much as he was already "in house" and in need of a new job.

#ask #project artemis

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starrsarchive · 8 months ago

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if you wouldn’t mind would you like. explain the first few resident evil games for me bc I wanna buy them but I’m so insanely bad at video games and I wanna know if it’s worth it

AAA i love this question!!! (sorry if i over explain things)

i'm gonna explain resident evil 0 and resident evil 1 because their stories connect really well!! (i'm gonna try not to spoil anything lmao)

re0 takes place in 1998, on the outskirts of raccoon city were there have been reports of unusual murders. the city's sends the bravo team from the special forces division (S.T.A.R.S) to investigate. while the bravo team is investigating the woods, they find an abandoned train car and decide to continue their investigation there. rookie cop, rebecca chambers, ends up getting separated from her team. while investigating, she's finds out there's been a zombie outbreak in the car, and the passengers are dead. rebecca ends up meeting ex-convict, billy coen, who hid in the traincar after the military transport vehicle escorting him was forced off the road by a pack of zombie dogs. the pair decide to team up and look for an escape after the traincar starts again.

re1 begins on the night of july 24, 1998. the S.T.A.R.S. bravo team (rebecca's team), which was sent out the night before to investigate the killings, has dropped out of radio contact with the alpha team. the alpha team is then dispatched to the arklay mountains in their own helicopter to find them. while searching the area, this random guy named joseph frost finds a severed hand still clutching a handgun. he is soon attacked by zombie dogs and killed. the other alpha team members flee back to their helicopter, but the pilot brad vickers had already taken off and abandoned them. spotting a mansion in the distance, the four remaining members (jill, chris, barry, and wesker) run toward it in hopes of finding shelter from the dogs. you have the option between playing as chris or jill, and both character's have their own advantages. jill (or if you play as chris, but i think jill is better lmao) is instructed to begin exploring the mansion, and she/he ends up discovering the mansion's secrets.

the first few games are relatively easy, there's quite a few puzzles that can be frustrating, as well as the weird camera angles, but nonetheless, i definitely recommend it. also sorry if the explanations don't make sense/weren't what you were looking for, i'd tried my best to explain without spoiling😭

i went into the games knowing quite a bit of the lore, which was really helpful, so if you do end up getting the games but want more context before playing, i can recommend a few videos!! (also after re0 and re1, the game order gets super confusing, so i can help with that!)

if you havw like anymore questions please please send me an ask🙏 (i am insanely hyperfixated on these silly games)

#the only thing i've consumed today is an energy drink #my brain felt fuzzy while typing this

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katyobsesses · 2 years ago

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Buddie Meta

i'm rewatching 6x02 and i've realized a lot of somethings, but the one I'm focusing on right now is the Buddie of it all.

there's been a lot of complaints in parts of the fandom about the lack of Buddie so far this season (before the midseason finale), and there is, yes, but there is a reason for it and there is a moment when it started - after the Happiness Convention and Lev.

in 6x01 we get them together in Buck's loft - this ridiculously domestic scene for a couple of platonic besties, reminiscent of all the buddie scenes we were graced with in 5b. This shows us that in the time between the end of 5b and 6x01 this was very likely common place for Buddie and Christopher, this was their normal, Buck cooking for Eddie and Chris, the longing lingering looks and smiles from Eddie, Chris's teasing. it's all shown in the first episode of this season as easy and natural for the three of them. this is their status quo. this is where they are at the start of their arcs for this season - a 'platonic' family unit - and it is where their arcs will return to, just changed slightly (because that is what story arcs do) and we already see Buck changing slightly, with him moving his armchair to where his couch was... instead of looking for another couch (or realizing there is a couch waiting for him at the Diazes')

and then it's 6x02 and everything crashes down around Buck, specifically - because Buck is the one that pulls away from this family unit, Eddie never does (in fact in subsequent episodes he tries to draw Buck back in, but doesn't push. he is waiting, patiently, for Buck to figure out his shit).

At the beginning of this episode Buddie are their usual selves, we see them together like normal, like has been established in the first episode of this season, like the new normal they'd created for themselves in 5b. they lean next to each other commenting on Hen being asleep in the engine, they throw popcorn on Hen with Chim - maybe some other stuff i can't remember or more in the background - and then there's the Happiness Convention and Lev.

They're split up on this call, noticeably so. Eddie and Julie go help Lev's two friends, while Chim and Buck help Lev. If Bobby had been there Eddie with Buck, and Chim would have been with Hen. (It's interesting that Hen decided to split Buddie up. this feels relevant to her arc in some way? something something Hen being too overworked and stressed and pulled in two directions to make the right choices??) They're distanced in this rescue, and this rescue is the catalyst to the distance that starts to form between them after this episode.

And I am certain that it's Lev's words to Buck that make him pull away from the family unit he has created with Eddie and Chris:

"You live your whole life doing everything you're supposed to. Marriage, kids, big house, nice car."

"Hey, that doesn't sound too bad, right?"

"It wasn't. It's just this 40 year blur. Work and Family. Never enough time, until one day work stops, and everything finally comes into focus. you're not sure what you're looking at. What was the point of... any of it."

Okay, so, obviously hearing that from a dying man would make anyone have an existential crisis (and this is Buck who collects words from old dying men like baseball cards) but it's the work and family that stood out to me. specifically a blur of work and family.

because that's what Buck is doing, he's blurring work and family together is every single aspect.

his sister is married to his co-worker, his captain is like a father figure, his partner is his best friend and they're basically raising a kid together - family and work is blurred. and I think in this moment Buck is hit with the fact that he doesn't have anything outside of the 118. No friends, no family. the 118 is all he has.

and that's why he spirals. Because if work stops? so does family.

They get Lev's friends out, they get Frankie out, but they don't get Lev out. He dies, but not before saying he "got what he came here for" - Happiness. "I get it now"

The next time we see Buddie they're physically separated by Chim and this is where Buck begins to create some space between Eddie and himself by turning down breakfast. He's unblurring the lines between before and after work by turning down spending time with his coworkers - notably the two coworkers most intertwined with family.

This is the catalyst, the beginning, to the Lack Of Buddie this season - it's Buck suddenly feeling terrified at the comfort he's created with his Platonic Family Unit, because what if, when work stops, this family unit stops too? So he's distancing himself from it now, even if it's mostly subconscious, and he's even making a new family unit with the who Sperm Donation arc. (Oh and he's also internalizing the whole happiness is sacrificing oneself for someone else thing with the recklessness this season that will likely come to a head soon, but that's a non-buddie something)

Buck's arc this season, I theorize, is going to end where it started - with Eddie and Christopher. But he'll be changed, and i truly believe it will be a happier Buck that we end up with, everything will finally come into focus for him, and he'll finally get it, he'll be sure of what he's looking at and finally understand what the point of everything was - a family he's made for himself, with Eddie and Chris, and the knowledge that he and everyone at the 118 are linked to each other forever, even if, in the future, they might drift somewhat. It's the culmination of all of the old men he's bonded with that died on him. It's Thomas, and Red, and now Lev. Love, friendship, and happiness.

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thelonesomequeen · 2 years ago

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Even weirder that HE's been spotted many times this whole time alone or w/Dodger, family & friends but nothing with her. // I’m struggling to think what “many” sightings are being referenced here? I can recall a few off-the-set solo sightings of him over the last year, but not many. Re: your similar point not spotting them in friends’ pictures or posts, can you think of any photos that his friends or family have posted this year which feature even just Chris (no Alba)? Cause I can’t.

On the other hand, there were alleged sightings made by a journalist in Lisbon in May, and a Twitter sighting of him in Vancouver in June, but these are often discounted because they don’t fit people’s theories. Tara followed Alba in late June and commented on one of her posts in July. Chris was filming from late August onward, and we know Alba was in ATL beginning in September because of the yoga course (as much as people will protest otherwise). Earlier in the year, we know her IG location was in the US for all of February / part of March. (Yes, I acknowledge knowing all this overkill. It’s why I take weeks-long breaks from Tumblr. 😆)

I dunno, I’m curious about examples of the holes you see in the timeIine cause I’m not seeing them tbh. The only one I can maybe see is Shanna’s wedding, but if I were in Alba’s shoes I might’ve sat that event out so as not to steal thunder. Imagine the fandom abuse Shanna could’ve gotten following such a joyful day, or the news articles a couple sighting might’ve spawned. I can see if they decided Shanna deserved not to have her day overshadowed that way.

Not trying to be combative at all, by the way. Y’all know I think the PR theory is bogus, but that doesn’t mean I’m the authority on the relationship timing. I’m genuinely trying to understand what others are seeing that I’m not.

There actually were a few photos of him in friend’s posts from this year where he is pictured and she isn’t there. But on the reverse side of that, I think these photos all came at the same time she was knowingly preoccupied with other things. Examples: Tara posted a photo with him from his LA home before The Gray Man premiere. His friend Chelsea posted a photo from a mutual friend’s wedding over the summer plus a golf outing. I think Scott’s boyfriend Steve also posted some cute photos from the Lightyear premiere to his story. I remember thinking it was sweet he was still invited along to join the family even though Scott couldn’t be there. But I believe all of those line up with the same time she was doing Mrs. Harris press?

I also think it’s entirely possible for her to had visited him while he was filming and go essentially undetected. I really don’t think she’s very recognizable to the public at all.

The only issue I have with the Vancouver sighting is that it apparently took place in a mall? Unless I’m confusing that with some other sighting. I just feel like if he was in such a public place that at least someone would have snapped a picture that would have ended up on twitter or something? It’s so hard to know when sightings are real or not anymore when there are so many trolls running around the fandom these days. I feel like I don’t remember the May Lisbon sighting at all, but I don’t doubt the sighting didn’t happen. So much has happened that it’s easy to lose track of. I was also doing a huge home renovation at the time, so I was only occasionally popping in to see what was going on, and I’m sure I missed things because of that.

I do think it makes sense that she didn’t attend his sister’s wedding if they were together. If anyone remembers, I actually played devil’s advocate back then and pointed out that it didn’t make sense for her to fly in when they wouldn’t be able to spend time together. He literally flew in for that weekend only and went right back to filming. He was also a part of the wedding party. Anyone who has been in a wedding party knows how busy you are the entire weekend. There really isn’t much time to spend with a significant other if they’re also not in the wedding party. It’s essentially only part of the reception and that’s it. If she had flown in, they barely would have had any time together that entire weekend between the festivities and returning back to set. So if they were together, I don’t find it odd that she didn’t go for that reason alone. But I also completely agree with you about not going to avoid stealing Shanna’s thunder. If she was there and had been spotted, it would have been articles galore about Chris and Alba. I just can’t see him being the type of person to steal the spotlight from Shanna on her big day like that.

Where I get a little stuck on things is the photo we received of her over the summer with another man. While it doesn’t prove she was dating that guy, it’s still pretty close for two people to be if one of them is in a relationship with someone else. I certainly wouldn’t be happy with my husband if he was wrapped around another woman that way. He’d have a lot of explaining to do 😂 that’s the one kink in the story I can’t really get past. It’s what makes me wonder if they only casually saw each other for a while before making things official? But that’s also a theory of mine that could be wrong. But long story short, late spring through summer is where I see potential holes in the relationship. But it could simply be explained away as them both being busy or us just not being entitled to see every moment they’ve spent together. I think that’s a concept a lot of fans tend to forget about. Just because we want to see them together, doesn’t mean we’re entitled to that.

For the most part, the longer this all lasts, the more I’m inclined to think it’s all real. Specially when she and her friend group pop up and it isn’t being used for PR in any type of way like this year’s NYE Vermont trip. People love to argue that “PR is for the fans to see, too!” but it’s really not. PR is for the public and it’s something that’s very blatantly obvious. You shouldn’t have to follow private accounts of friends, friend’s significant others, and whoever else in order to connect the dots of them being in the same location. I think there are a small handful of PR theories that make sense, but a majority of them are so out of this world I don’t even know what to say about it. I really don’t. I honestly wonder if people hear themselves sometimes. The idea that absolutely everything that happens is part of some elaborate conspiracy theory in order to control a narrative is a bit much for me, personally. That’s when I wish people would truly log off and spend some time in reality to hopefully be able to see some of this with clear eyes and an open mind. Or at least be able to hold respectful discussions about it all. And I also don’t negate the fact that this really could be both. A real relationship that will be used for PR when it suits one of them best. Anyway. This was super long and I feel like I’ve rambled on and on. Sorry! 😂🦎

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wrestlingisfake · 1 year ago

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All Out preview

Orange Cassidy vs. Jon Moxley - Cassidy is making his 31st defense of the AEW international title. He has not lost a one-on-one match since September 21, 2022, but this is easily his toughest opponent yet.

These two were scheduled to meet for the first time one-on-one in November 2021, but that match was canceled. Other than that, these two had very little to do with one another until July 21, when Cassidy and the Best Friends confronted Moxley's partners in the Blackpool Combat Club. Moxley wasn't there, but on July 26 he made up for lost time with an ambush on Cassidy. The two factions and their allies have been feuding for weeks, including a ten-man brawl last week at Wembley Stadium, where Cassidy scored the winning pin. I wouldn't say these two in particular have had a personal issue, but they're the biggest stars on either side, and sooner or later they had to face off.

This is the biggest match of Orange's career. You wouldn't expect a guy with a comedy gimmick to last two minutes against a protected badass like Moxley. But a win, or even a well-fought loss, would prove Cassidy can hang with the tippy-toppy guys despite (or because of) his silliness. Beating Chris Jericho in 2020 meant a lot, and an 11-month title reign helped even more, but this match can take him to the next level.

It's pretty clear at this point that CM Punk vs. Ricky Starks was supposed to headline this show, until Punk was suspended last week and fired yesterday. Now this match has to close the show, in Punk's hometown. Both guys are making this match about which of them will carry the company through troubled times. We know Moxley can handle that kind of pressure. Cassidy has a chance to prove he can too. The best case scenario for AEW would be if Moxley makes his opponent a bigger star, so that people remember this week for Orange stepping up to make chicken salad out of Punk's chicken shit.

I could see this match going either way. Moxley has expressed a desire to "give back" by putting over younger guys; that doesn't mean he'll always do the job, obviously, but he's looking for the right time and place to do it. On the other hand, Cassidy's storyline for months is that he's fighting hurt and refuses to take a break, and that clearly won't end until someone breaks him, so he can return stronger than ever. I'd kinda like to see Moxley hold the international title just to add to its prestige, so I'd be cool with him winning here to set up Orange winning a rematch later on. But under the circumstances, you've only got one chance to headline a PPV with this matchup, for this title. So there are plenty of reasons to just let Cassidy win the big one.

MJF & Adam Cole vs. John Silver & Alex Reynolds - Max and Cole won the ROH tag team title at Wembley Stadium last week; Silver and Reynolds, representing the Dark Order, won a battle royale to earn this title shot.

I expect both sides to get a babyface reaction. The fans love MJF and Cole, even though the entire basis of their friendship is that they bonded over being pricks, and we'll never be sure one won't betray the other. I think the Dark Order is supposed to have turned heel, but they're still so lovable and cuddly that I'm not sure anyone really buys it. Their whole deal now is that they resent Adam Page for "abandoning" them to reconcile with the Elite, so now they're ruthless and looking out for themselves. But it's not going to be easy to get over as selfish heels in the ring against MJF of all people, even if he is a babyface.

It's pretty clear this match is just a pit stop for Cole and MJF, on their way to a reckoning with Cole's former friends Roderick Strong, Mike Bennett, and Matt Taven. Unless those three guys interfere somehow, I don't see any chance of Silver and Reynolds winning the belts. Actually, even if there's a bunch of interference, I'd say the champs are heavy favorites to retain.

Kenny Omega vs. Konosuke Takeshita - Omega and Takeshita have since clashed in various tag team matches, but this is their first singles encounter. As Don Callis has helpfully pointed out, Kenny has not won a singles match since Don betrayed Kenny on May 10.

When Callis arrived in AEW in late 2020, he was symbolic of Omega's heel turn. Once Kenny basically went babyface in 2022, it was only a matter of time before Don turned on him. By November 2022 Callis was scouting Takeshita, raising questions about whether he was looking to replace Kenny. It seemed like Takeshita was too pure of a cinnamon roll to become a ruthless enforcer for Callis, but that's exactly what happened on May 28.

Omega does need to get some payback against Callis and Takeshita, but I don't know that he needs it right now. If he just beats Takeshita clean in the middle of the ring, the storyline's over. That doesn't make any sense when Don has spent months talking about building a new "Don Callis Family," and despite working with half a dozen heels he hasn't actually recruited anyone except Takeshita. We need more guys in this faction, which makes this the perfect opportunity for a new recruit to run in and cost Omega the victory.

Bryan Danielson vs. Ricky Starks - This is a strap match, so the participants will be tied at the wrist to either end of a long leather strap. The goal is be the first person to touch each corner of the ring in succession. I hate strap matches, because the build is "dudes whipping the shit out each other" but then the payoff is "dudes tangled up and reaching for turnbuckles." They always try to lash each other with the strap, but with both ends tied to the wrestlers it's hard to get your body in the proper position for the strappation, dudes.

The setup for this was when Ricky Steamboat refereed CM Punk vs. Starks on August 5, and Starks took Steamboat's belt off and whipped him with it. That was probably going to set up a Punk-Starks rematch on this show, but once that was off the table Starks issued a challenge to Steamboat. Steamboat produced a contract, except it was for Starks to wrestle Danielson, who unexpectedly returned from breaking his arm ten weeks ago. I assume Danielson let Dr. Proper know, and Dr. Unger know, and Dr. Hughes know, that the release forms have been signed, so those guys aren't responsible for the last couple fractures in the forearm, brother.

I assume Danielson will play babyface and get the big comeback win. But I'm rooting for Starks, because he did an amazing promo on September 2 about starting over after the rug was pulled out from under him. Danielson needs to be protected but not nearly as much as Starks needs to be elevated.

Luchasaurus vs. Darby Allin - Luchasaurus is defending the AEW TNT championship, even if his mentor Christian Cage is the one carrying the belt and all but calling himself the titleholder. Cage will be in Lucha's corner, and Allin will be cornered by his young ward, Nick Wayne. Last night Cage told Nick he'd have to throw in the towel for Darby, which may be telegraphing the finish. I suppose it'll be interesting seeing Allin fight someone the size of Luchasaurus, but this feud has been ice-cold for me and so has the Nick Wayne storyline, and combining the two hasn't made either of them better. I get the feeling Luchasaurus retains to drag this out further.

Kris Statlander vs. Ruby Soho - Statlander's AEW TBS title is on the line. Soho is 2-0 against the champion. I vaguely remember that after one of those matches people were outraged because Statlander deserved to win, but honestly that happens so often nowadays that I'm not even sure the match I'm thinking of was these two. Anyway, I don't see much point in a title change right now so I'm sure Statlander will get one of her wins back.

Samoa Joe vs. Shane Taylor - This is for Joe's ROH television title. Taylor was the runner-up to Dalton Castle in a July tournament to earn a title shot, but after Joe defeated Castle they immediately booked another tournament to choose another contender, and this time Taylor won. I have not been terribly impressed with the storytelling in Ring of Honor.

This is a huge opportunity for Taylor. He was with ROH for years, and Tony Khan brought him after the buyout, but he's not one of the ROH guys that got an AEW contract or time on AEW television. This may be the biggest crowd Shane has ever worked in front of, and I think he can deliver at this level. I mean, Joe's still going to beat his ass and retain. But I still think Taylor will turn a few heads.

Miro vs. Powerhouse Hobbs - I decided not to attend this show (last time I went to see wrestling I got COVID) but this is the one match that gives me second thoughts. I don't know what the hell these guys are fighting about but I don't care, and I don't think they do either. They're both huge and mean and they're gonna have a MEAN GUY MATCH~! and I am here for it. Well, not as "here" as I could be, I guess. I am on my couch for it. I'm always gonna root for Hobbs, but honestly it doesn't matter who wins as long as both guys pound the stuffings out of each other.

Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler & Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Jay White & Juice Robinson & Austin Gunn & Colten Gunn - FTR (Dax & Cash) and the Young Bucks (Matt & Nick) continued their rivalry last week, and the Bucks were salty that they lost. They were trying to have a civil conversation about it on August 30 when Bullet Club Gold interrupted and suggested an eight-man tag match.

Last night's Collision (in the same building as tonight's show) ended with the Bucks saving FTR from Bullet Club Gold, and the Chicago crowd was hostile to CM Punk's top enemies asking for handshakes from CM Punk's top buddies on CM Punk's show, on the night where they announced CM Punk is fired. Thew show went off the air with the Bucks smugly shaking each other's hands, which seems like a ballsy thing to do in Punk territory, when so many weirdos think the Bucks set him up somehow.

Anyway I expect Chicago to be radioactive for the Bucks for years to come, but if they are they'll just love FTR all the more. So the crowd reaction here could be complicated. Kinda thinking White's team should win.

Eddie Kingston & Katsuyori Shibata vs. Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta - Claudio vs. Eddie and Shibata vs. Yuta were two top matches on Ring of Honor's April pay-per-view, so I guess we're running those back as a tag match. We have to be getting back to Claudio-Eddie for the ROH men's world title at some point, but they don't seem to be in a hurry. The babyfaces should win, and it'd be nice if one of them pinned Claudio to set up a title bout.

Billy Gunn & Max Caster & Anthony Bowens vs. Jeff Jarrett & Jay Lethal & Satnam Singh - This is scheduled for the pre-show. Last night Jarrett's group gave celebrity guest star Dennis Rodman a hard time, so the Acclaimed and Billy offered to give them a shot at their trios title, with Rodman in the champs' corner. Billy and the Acclaimed just got new custom pink title belts, so there's no way they're going to lose the championship this soon.

Athena & Diamante & Mercedes Martinez vs. Hikaru Shida & Willow Nightingale & Skye Blue - Another pre-show match. I heard Tony Khan wanted to book Athena vs. Billie Starkz for the ROH women's world title, but Billie's not medically cleared. I don't know why that means Athena can't defend her title against one of the other five women in this match, but whatever. WIllow has has been feuding with Diamante and Martinez of late. Skye is a local girl so she always gets a good Chicago pop. Shida should probably be higher on the card, but maybe she can get an ROH title shot out of this if she wins. Actually, I think Athena's side will win.

Over the Budget Battle Royale - It's a battle royale for the pre-show, and that's all I've got. No participants have been announced, as far as I know. The winner will get to donate $50,000 to the charity of his choice. I assume that's 50k of AEW's money, not the winner's. Literally anything could happen with this, but I suppose a babyface needs to win.

#aew #all out #orange cassidy #jon moxley

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