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hurpdurpburps · 2 months

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Kozakura and Toriko

SPOILER WARNING: major spoilers up to Vol 8 of the novels, screenshots of the manga-exclusive Kozakura POV Special Chapter 10 and two passing mentions of minor character development in Vol 9 of the novel (currently only in Japanese).

Vol 10 of the English manga was released yesterday, and re-reading the Kozakura POV Special Chapter at the end reminded me why it was actually my favourite of all the ones published so far, and why I am so enamoured with Kozakura as a character.

I know that a lot of the fandom is amused by the idea of Sorawo having a harem (and it's true - Miyazawa straight up confirms Runa's crush in Vol 9 and has regularly insinuated at Kozakura's feelings throughout the volumes), but I think not nearly enough people talk about Kozakura's dynamic with Toriko, or how the story unfolds from her perspective as literally the "only grown-up in the room" before Migiwa's introduction.

So this post is gonna talk about that.

There are multiple times where the story depicts Kozakura favouring Sorawo over Toriko, such as in when she asked Sorawo to accompany her back home because she was scared, or when she decided to call only Sorawo to go over to her house to collect the free hot springs tickets. A lot of people chalk it up to Kozakura liking Sorawo, but if anything I think this behaviour is more of a manifestation of the lack of guilt towards her, compared to the boatload she has towards Toriko.

In the novels, we as readers feel the disgust and dread from Sorawo's POV as someone retroactively discovering that her friend was a victim of grooming.

But what about Kozakura? If you think about the OP character chart from a bird's eye view, she wasn't a victim - nor exactly an innocent bystander. If anything, she'd be an accessory to a predator, being a late-20s/early-30s adult witnessing her similar-aged coworker rope in who was a literal teenager at the time to traversing and exploring a creepy af alternate reality, and doing absolutely fuck all about it.

Miyazawa made a deliberate decision here, to write in no uncertain terms, that Kozakura was conscious of what Satsuki was doing to Toriko, or the impropriety lurking beneath the dynamics of their "tutor-student" relationship. Kozakura saw it coming - his writing leaves no room for other interpretations - and she let it happen.

And how does she cope with this guilt? Kozakura could've avoided Toriko's attempts at reaching out after Satsuki's disappearance. It would've been easy I think, for Kozakura to simply break off all contact. A simple "our mutual friend is gone so bye" would've sufficed to send Toriko packing for good. Toriko is an abysmally shy girl - and unlike Sorawo, Kozakura knew that side of her from the start. Kozakura is clearly not afraid or incapable of conveying her displeasure, but nonetheless makes the conscious, harder decision to make Toriko feel comfortable enough to stick around.

Kozakura unexpectedly grows more accustomed to taking care of Toriko, plus her new sidekick Sorawo, over time. So much so that by the time Vol 6 rolls around, she pretty much gives up her house and lets our dynamic duo do what they want. By extension, I think her guilt over not doing anything to help Toriko in the past was a driving factor behind her decision to take in Kasumi. In a sense, it's a do-over, and now she's right there from the start to make sure the train doesn't derail. I'm happy to reveal that her efforts have paid off - Kasumi's communication abilities have greatly improved in Vol 9. Now the kid says hi, eats ice cream on the couch obediently when ordered to do so, and quotes entire Wikipedia pages psychically or whatever.

The complicated vortex of envy, jealousy and guilt doesn't stop Kozakura from trying to do right by Toriko, but that doesn't mean it's easy to face her either. Coupled with Sorawo's many similarities to her missing crush (emotional erh, robustness, vague physical resemblance, bravery regarding all things Otherside) and the lack of a complicated interpersonal history, it's no wonder why Kozakura intuitively prefers talking to our protagonist than the poor Bird Girl she allowed to be manipulated. And I don't think she's very conscious of this inclination herself.

Personally, I prefer this interpretation of Kozakura's behaviour, rather than the more popular everyone-likes-Sorawo take (not that it's not valid, unsupported, or fun). Also, this is my all-vibes no-evidence theory, but Kozakura totally seems to me like someone who'd only be into older women, not younger...

But that's probably just me projecting. I relate to Kozakura's position quite a bit, as a late-20s woman who leads a team of mostly early-20s younger women fresh out of university, like a naggy mother hen.

Many stories depict difficult situations from the eyes of a victim, survivor, or even perpetrator, but not enough explore the guilt of someone who acknowledges that she could've stopped a bad thing from happening, in my opinion. And she forces herself to atone by proactively keeping an eye for these girls. While maintaining that superior holier-than-thou attitude towards her kids lol. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh I love Miyzawa's takes so much.

This is a 5am, caffeine-fueled ramble. It's not particularly insightful or profound, but I have a lot of energy right now and decided to pen down these surging thoughts.

And yeah - buy the manga! The Kozakura POV shorts add such a rich dimension to these already-deeply introspective novels, and personally I think it really highlights Miyazawa's hyperawareness of complicated, problematic interpersonal dynamics.

PS. I wonder how many volumes we have to reach before finally knowing Kozakura's first name lol.

#otherside picnic #urasekai picnic #裏世界ピクニック #toriko nishina #kozakura

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canonically47 · 3 months

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hot take i guess, but fandoms (and people in general) are so annoying about romance. like genuinely. its so tiring to find a new interest and want to connect with other fans, only for them to be like “look at my ship!!” “look at this ship!!” and ESPECIALLY when the media WASN’T EVEN ABOUT THAT. i just came back from inside out 2 and wanted to find some fun fanart or thoughts of fellow viewers, instead i am bombarded with sadness x embarrassment or disgust x some video game character. ARE YALL OKAY??? THEY’RE EMOTIONS!!!

you people are so annoying and i am tired of sugar coating it. “filter your tags” i have. “let people ship whatever” i do. “do you not have any ships?” i do, but they go deeper than romance. “this is mean” YOU try being aromantic in a world FILLED TO THE BRIM with your tiring, boresome, disgusting romance. you try being aromantic with so many detailed and complex thoughts on relationships while those around you just go “boy and girl stand together = love”. you try being aromantic in a fandom that is meant to be your escape yet all you’re met with is an unaccessible space because everything, everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, is about something you cannot feel, cannot relate to, cannot understand, something you despise, something that is forced on you, something THE ENTIRE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND.

comfort characters that are canonically aspec? guess what! allos took them too! alastor? “oh well idk he interacts with vox and lucifer once so they must be in love.” georgia from loveless? “aroaces can be in relationships too.” i hate this fan culture and i hate this shipping culture and i hate your romance and i hate your society and i hate you.

you have given me no space to express myself in. you have said the LGBTQ+ community is about love, when i am left feeling none, excluding me, my fellow aspecs, and my trans siblings because god know you put them through hell too. you have told me to seek other fans and all they do is drive me away from what i love. you have called me a broken monster and i just had to fucking take it.

i hate you, and i don’t even want to sugarcoat it anymore. why should i have to specify that i want to spare your feelings? obviously im not all against shipping. obviously im not all against romance. click my profile, you’ll see my all-time favorite ship, you’ll call me a hypocrite. because all you care is the angry words i write and you see on a screen without caring for the complex picture - person - i am behind this account, behind this face.

all you want is your romance and your feelings being spared, and i never have either of those. so excuse me for feeling rage.

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theidiotwhowritesthings · 2 years

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A Fresh Start [12]

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Warnings: sick child, fear and panic, angst/comfort, canon violence, mentions of medical trauma, blackmailing

Word Count: 3,588

Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant for everyone.

Ch. #12: GROGU, GROGU, BABY, IT’S OKAY

Chapter Summary: pirates, fraudulent doctors, & bacterial infections, oh my!

“Do not question her fire, she could startle the monsters that stop your heart.” -MvDarkLight

Din Djarin. His name was Din Djarin. Every time the name drifted through your thoughts a thrill ran down your spine. You mumbled the name under your breath and it brought a smile to your face. It suited him. Din. Would it be weird if you thought he looked like a Din? Considering you had no idea what he looked like? He felt like a Din. Maybe that was a more accurate thought.

You filled the spoon in your hand with porridge and held it out for Grogu to eat. Since waking, the kid seemed to feel much better in comparison to last night, but you could tell he wasn’t himself. He wasn’t as energetic. On any normal day he would’ve devoured the entire bowl of porridge then been chirping for more. Right now it seemed the only reason he was actually eating was because you were feeding him.

Grogu fussed at you when you scooped up another bite, and in response you set the cutlery back into the bowl. “You done, baby?” He didn’t speak, just whined. You wet a rag to clean his face, but he only let you wipe at him a few times before he squirmed and held his hands up to you. “Here we go. I got you.”

You picked him up and Grogu didn’t hesitate to curl into your chest. Poor baby. You had seen plenty of sick kids before. It was always sad, but you never felt any different than any other patient you had. You could separate yourself from it easily enough. Now, you had a new respect for the parents of those sick kids. This was hard. You knew the medicine behind it, knew this wasn’t life threatening, but hearing Grogu whimper with discomfort as a small cough left him terrified you.

Mando⏤ No, Din. He said he’d have Daelar stop by for a home visit. The idea of it made you blanch in disgust, but it had to be done. You weren’t going to stroke his ego this time. Daelar was going to take you seriously and give you what you wanted. Your eyes darted to the blaster resting on the island counter beside you. Even if it meant holding the doctor at the dangerous end of your new gift. Could you do that? Could you pick up a blaster and threaten an actual person with it? Grogu coughed again and that was answer enough. Absolutely, you could. For the child in your arms, you’d do anything.

Including reaching out to your past.

You picked up the blaster, which felt dangerously comfortable in your hand, and walked over to sit on the couch with Grogu still resting against you. After setting the blaster down, where it’d still be in reach, you tapped on your arm communicator to call a number you had memorized. It rang three times before the other end picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Lee.” You greeted with a tired sigh.

There was a beat of silence before your old friend seemed to gasp in surprise. “...Doc?”

“The one and only.”

“Maker, what⏤ I⏤ I have no idea what to say.” Lee said. “Hi?”

“I think we already did that part of having a conversation. How are you?”

“Me? I’m fine. I’m about to start a shift down in the⏤ nevermind. That’s not the question. How are you? Are you⏤ Are you okay?” The concern in Lee’s voice warmed your heart. This was part of the reason why you didn’t reach out to your past anymore. It hurt to be reminded that you didn’t just leave behind nightmares. You left behind friends too.

You were lightly patting Grogu’s back in a slow, repetitive rhythm. “I’m okay. Doing better than I have in a really long time actually.”

“I’m really happy to hear that.” Lee replied.

“Lee.” You sighed, “I am so sorry that I haven’t reached out to you in over a year,” He tried to interrupt you but you didn’t let him, “and now that I am calling it’s to ask for a favor, but…”

“Ask away, doc.” Lee replied with a second of hesitation.

“Really? Just like that?”

“If our roles were reversed, you’d do the same.” Lee said. “Now, what can I do for you?”

“I’m looking for information on a physician in my area. His name is Daelar.”

His son was sick, his talk with you was interrupted, and the pirates were hunkered down and had them pinned in the lava plains for the last hour and a half. Din was pissed, to say the least. Of all the days for Pirate King Gorian Shard’s men to show their ugly faces again, it had to be today? More blaster fire pelted the boulder he hid behind and Din locked his jaw⏤ teeth grinding together.

“You were supposed to fly in and end this in your usual flair of dramatics, Mando.” Mayfeld growled. “This is not that. This is, arguably, the opposite!”

“Will you shut up before I take a shot at you?” Cara snapped. “I can’t hear myself think over the blaster fire and your whining.”

Din resisted the urge to bang the back of his head against the boulder. When he had arrived, things had started off well until the pirates had a second wave fly in to help them. The good news was that Karga had scrambled some allies to take care of the ships hovering just outside the atmosphere of Nevarro, and that meant the city itself was safe as long as the three of them could hold the line.

The bad news?

The three of them had to hold the line.

“Do we have any pilots in the city right now?” Din asked.

“No.” Mayfeld shook his head. “They’re all in the atmosphere right now.”

“Not a single one can break free and give us a kriffing hand?” Cara asked.

“Those pilots up there weren’t trained. They’re basically volunteers.” Mayfeld argued. “It’s a miracle they’re standing a chance at all right now! We pull even one out⏤”

Cara and Mayfeld continued to argue from either side of him, and Din lifted his communicator. There was one pilot in the city he knew about. He knew she wasn’t already in the air because she technically only in training⏤ she was his literal last line of defense.

“Marshal?” Nima answered.

Cara’s glare left Mayfeld and snapped to him. “Is that⏤”

“Nima, I need you to get the N-1 and give us some cover. Can you do that?”

“Uh, yeah! I, um, okay. Sure.” Nima replied and he didn’t miss the nervous tones in her voice. “Send me your coordinates.”

The line went dead and Cara grabbed him by the arm. “Call her back. She shouldn’t be out here.”

“We need someone to fly the N-1 out here.” Din argued. “She’s out best bet.”

“She’s still learning!” Cara snapped. Mayfeld continued to fire over the blaster any opportunity he was given in hopes to keep the pirates from coming closer. “It’s dangerous.”

“It’s necessary.” Din retaliated.

“And that makes it okay?!” Cara yelled. She motioned to the area around them. “Would you let Soran throw herself into danger because someone deemed it ‘necessary’?!”

Din took in a breath through his nose. No. He wouldn’t. Din understood Cara’s concern, and he wasn’t denying that he’d react the exact same way if he were in her shoes. The problem was, in this moment right here, it was the only feasible option he had.

“As fun as this all is,” Mayfeld drew the attention to him, “It’d be great if I got a little help here!”

Din activated one of his bombs and hucked it over the boulder. The second it detonated, the three of them stood and began to fire into the fray of pirates half hidden in the smoke of the bomb. They managed to push the pirates back just a bit more before they were forced to duck again.

“Cara,” Din said, keeping his voice firm with determination, “Nima won’t be hurt. I swear to you. We’ll have her fire onto the pirates and leave. There’s nothing she can’t outrun in that ship.”

Cara continued to glare at him, but finally gave him a curt nod. Mayfeld threw his hands up. “Great! Glad to know we’re all made up before the pirates gut us.”

“What did I say about your whining?” Cara snapped at him.

Din let out a sigh. Today was going to be a long, long day.

It wasn’t until mid-afternoon that a knock came at the door. The hours spent alone had only made you wired and jittery. Grogu would have spurts, moments, when his energy seemed to return, but they were short lived. He still had a significantly lessened appetite compared to his baseline. Add to that the fact that Din was still MIA, and you were a borderline mess.

You pulled the door open, Grogu still in your arms, and your eyes landed on Daelar. He looked as grumpy and bitter as the first day you met him, but now his annoyance had swapped to anger. He stepped into the house, with no preamble, and scoffed.

“It’s an abuse of power to pull me away from the clinic.” Daelar said. “I didn’t realize the Marshal was so selfish.”

“He’s not.” You already wanted to wring his neck. “He’s out doing his job right now.”

“Oh, preventing parking violations on the landing pad then?”

“Fighting pirates, you ass.” You defended Din. “Now, why don’t you shut up and do your job?” Daelar shifted uncomfortably and you led him deeper into the house. You sat down on the couch, beside your blaster, and Daelar sat down a few seats down from you. “Grogu is still coughing. It’s gotten worse. He was up almost all of last night.”

Daelar nodded. “I gave you⏤”

“The nebulizer didn’t help.” You said. “Steam did. Calmed it enough that he could get some sleep, but he’s still not acting right.”

“Sounds like he’s a little boy who has a little infection.” Daelar said passively. “It happens. They get better eventually with rest and supportive care.”

You shook your head. “This is different. I know a common cold. Something is wrong. It’s⏤” A gut feeling. Years of experience yelling at you⏤ screaming at you to act. You took in a low breath to try and relax yourself. “Instinct.”

“Instinct?” Daelar scoffed. “Are you comparing your ‘motherly instinct’ to my decades of training and experience?”

You knew this was the direction this would go in. You never considered yourself a pessimist, but you had little hope that a miracle would occur here. Daelar was a garbage person, and you didn’t think that was going to have changed suddenly. Apparently, you were only allowed respect if Din were in the same room as you. Luckily, you planned for this.

“Listen to me, you kriffing fraudulent ass.” You started. Daelar jumped up from where he sat, but you stayed seated. The picture of ease. “You’re going to give me your stethoscope so I can listen to my son’s lungs and then whatever medication I deem necessary you’ll bring to me.”

“You insolent little bug.” Daelar snapped. “Who do you think you are to boss me around? I’ll do what you want? Really? Or what?” He motioned to the couch cushion where your blaster sat. “You’ll shoot me?”

You stood up, setting one hand on Grogu’s sleeping back, and kept a steady glare on the man in front of you. “No. As fun as it would be to threaten you with bodily harm, I know you still won’t take me seriously.” Daelar smirked as if he had won, but you took a step toward him and that smug look faltered. “So, I called a friend who pulled some strings and got me some information.”

“Excuse me?” He scoffed.

“I know you won’t understand the concept of mingling with fellow medical staff. You seem like the kind of physician to sneer and look down on any nurse or tech you pass.” You said. “But there’s benefit in treating others with respect and making friends. For example, it offers all sorts of connections. The kind of connections that allow someone like me to find out why you’re working in a small, backwater city like Nevarro.” Daelar’s entire body stiffened and it made a smile creep onto your features. “Yeah. I know about Harris Twiala, the patient you killed because you came to work drunk. Jane Reem, the patient you paralyzed because you mis-dosed her bacta tank. Yelna Tip⏤”

Daelar lifted a hand as if he wanted to hit you, but instead he pointed a thick finger in your face threateningly. “You shut up.”

“You’re a shitty physician which is why I know you’re familiar with the concept of making deals and blackmail.” You said. “That’s how you’ve bounced around so many hospitals. You sign a deal and your sins get swept under the rug. Here’s your next opportunity, Daelar. You help me out here, and I don’t report you to the Inner Rim medical board. And you know what would happen if a single board member saw your file.”

He wouldn’t just be out of a job. He’d be a pariah. There wouldn’t be a single clinic in the galaxy that would take him. His face would be posted alongside all the other physicians and nurses who had harmed patients through negligence or malice. Daelar took a step back from you. He rooted around his inner coat pocket and pulled out a stethoscope to hand to you. You took it with a smile and sat back down.

Peeling Grogu away from your chest, the boy weakly opened his eyes and began to fuss. “I know, I know. I’ll be quick, baby.” You cooed. Listening to his lungs, it sounded junky. Wheezing and congestion. You tossed the stethoscope back to the man and let Grogu cuddle back to your chest.

“You were a nurse then?” Daelar assumed.

“The biggest danger is a bacterial infection running wild. He could become septic.” You thought aloud. “I need fluids. IV gear. Antibiotics and antipyretics.” You shot him a look. “I want those last two in ingredient form. I can compound it myself. I don’t trust your math, Daelar.”

He chuckled, bitter, “Fine. Less work for me.” His glare deepened. “But that’s it. I bring it, and you keep your kriffing mouth shut.”

“Deal.” You spat. “Be quick about it.”

Daelar made his way to the front door and you followed him. He paused by the door to shoot you a smile. A chuckle left him. “You’re the kind of nurse I would’ve liked. You get shit done. I can respect that.”

“Bring me the meds, or next time I see you I’ll do this again but at blaster point.” You threatened.

He nodded once then stepped out of your house. You stood in the doorway, lightly rocking Grogu, until he was entirely out of sight. Right before you stepped back into the house, you heard the sound of a distant explosion. Too far for you to really gain any insight from the sound, but close enough to fill your blood with ice.

“Din.” You mumbled, heart clenching in fear.

Nima had done her job exactly right. She flew in, rained fire on the pirates, and sped away before anyone could even attempt to shoot her down. From there they were able to mow down some pirates and push the remainders to the edge of the lava plains. Din had been here once before, and as he stared at the base through his spyglass he grunted in annoyance.

“Didn’t I blow that up last time I was here?” He asked.

“Yeah. It’s been abandoned since. No Imps.” Cara sighed. “Apparently, the pirates are calling it home now.”

Mayfeld shook his head. “Well, since you blew it last time, how about we just blow it again. Easy peasy, then we call it a day.” He huffed. “I’m ready for a strong drink. Call Nima⏤”

“No.” Cara snapped. “She’s done her part.”

“Fine. So we storm an impenetrable ex-Imperial base, just the three of us, and hope for the best.” Mayfeld began to readjust the sights on his weapon. “Dream team.” He muttered the last bit under his breath. “I am asking Karga for a raise as soon as this is over⏤ if we survive.”

Din shrugged. “You’re already dead, Mayfeld, remember?”

Cara, despite looking exhausted, let out a soft chuckle and Mayfeld rolled his eyes. As ready as he was for this day to be over, Din was not going to half ass this just to be done early. He wanted to end this. Once and for all. Leave no foot hold on Nevarro for the pirates to even consider occupying. In fact, Din’s new mission in life was to wipe Gorian Shard’s existence from the galaxy.

“Let’s go.” Din stood and the others mirrored his action.

It didn’t take too long to get to the hollowed out Imperial base and they weren’t attacked by a single pirate during the journey. A major red flag in Din’s opinion. As they settled outside a blackened shell of a door, they rechecked their weapons.

Mayfeld sighed. “Does this scream trap to anyone else?”

“Yes.” Cara agreed.

“But we’re still going in?”

Din was the one to answer this time. “Yes.”

“Perfect.” Mayfeld nodded. “Just double checking.”

After a count, they filed in with blasters raised, but were met with the empty, devastated halls. Walls and floors were scorched from an old blast. Din changed the sensor in his helmet and that was when the enemy was revealed to him. Up ahead, around a corner, a group of pirates crouched waiting for them. Din held up a hand to stop them then motioned for Cara and Mayfeld to circle around while he approached head on. His beskar would hold up against whatever they had much better than Cara and Mayfeld’s leather based armor.

Din waited a beat for his deputies to get in place then he pulled a bomb from his bandolier, activated it, and threw it to the mouth of the hallway. The pirates scrambled seconds before it detonated and Din sprinted forward. His initial attack had only taken out the two closest, but the others were prepped for a fight. Din dodged a few swings from a vibroblade and fired his blaster into the chest of someone approaching him from the side. The sound of Cara and Mayfeld attacking from the other side filled the air. They met in the middle, things going well, when Din saw a pirate on the floor⏤ one they believed to be dead⏤ lift himself up and aim a blaster at Mayfeld.

He dove to the side to take the blast himself, but Din realized his mistake when the blaster fire turned out to be a taser rather than a bolt. It hit him in the center of the chest and the power behind the blow sent him flying back. Din’s entire body tensed as the current ran through him, but it faded after a second leaving him twitching on the ground with a groan.

Din mumbled a string of curses in Basic, Mando’a, and a few other languages he had tucked away in the back of his head. Maker, that hurt. A hand wrapped under his arm and lifted him up off the ground. The only person strong enough to lift his heavy form with such ease was Cara.

“Are you insane?” Cara scoffed.

“I’m fine.” Din grunted out. Mayfeld jogged over after finishing the last pirate and his question was only half out before Din waved it away. “Fine. I’m fine. Let’s keep going.”

Cara and Mayfeld shared a wary glance before they pressed onward.

Dank farrik. Din needed this day to be over.

The sun was setting, only a sliver above the horizon, and you were pacing the floor. Grogu was hot to touch. Daelar had never come back with the medicine like he said he would, and any attempt you made to reach him was blocked.

You had considered going to the clinic, but the promise you made Din kept you frozen inside. That indecision had cost you though. Because now, Grogu was crying⏤ inconsolable⏤ and every exposed inch of his skin was radiating heat. You hugged him to his chest as reassurance, held an ice packet to his head for the fever, and rocked him while whispering that everything was going to be okay.

Even though nothing felt okay right now.

“Grogu, Grogu, baby, it’s okay. Shhh.” You couldn’t set him down because his cries would turn to screams, but you knew your own body heat wasn’t helping his rising temperature. You tried to balance the ice pack on his head while using your finger to call Din on your armband.

It rang and rang and rang and rang. For the fourth time, your call went to voicemail. You were near tears. Din said to call if you had an emergency and this was an emergency. There was no way he wouldn’t answer your call. Had something happened to him?

Maker⏤

“Din, please. I need you⏤ Grogu is still…” The child’s cries were interrupted by a round of coughs that kept going to the point you were worried he wasn’t getting air. Finally, he sucked in a deep breath only to go back to crying. That settled it. “I’m going to the clinic, Din.”

You were done waiting idle.

A/N: thanks to all the love and reads 🥰. I love seeing the comments and reblogs and all the thoughts on this story. Good to know I’m entertaining more than just myself.

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #protective din djarin #good dad din djarin #mando x reader #mando x you #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x you #Female reader #reader insert #star wars #slow burn #angst/comfort

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ceruleanwhore · 1 year

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In my soul, I feel disgusted and betrayed by this finale and I am shocked that the same writers who were able to give us such a truly wonderful show somehow came up with such a terrible ending for it. This episode directly opposes the very nature of the show more than any other episode in such a way that then calls into question the rest of the series. This episode feels every bit as hollow and sad as Ted himself seems to be throughout the finale and makes me wonder if we ever were actually supposed to believe and to hope at all in the first place, even though I thought that was the point of the series.

The first of many issues I have with the episode is how they handled Rupert. The whole show is about belief, but specifically believing in others’ capacity for good and ability to change for the better. It’s about believing in redemption and reconciliation, which they actually could have done for Rupert even this late in the show. The scene in episode 10 where we get a glimpse of the inner child that’s still tucked away somewhere inside him showed us that even he still had this potential, up until they did what they did for the finale. While I, personally, tend to be more like Sassy was in that scene — gleefully cheering for the downfall of an odious scoundrel — it felt completely wrong for this show in particular to include that kind of public humiliation, which we the audience are all supposed to be cheering for, and in the middle of Ted’s last game ever with Richmond.

Where we actually could have used a side bit about a scoundrel getting his comeuppance is with Ted’s ex wife and their ex therapist. I think it’s absolutely terrible that they went and set up Rupert’s downfall the way they did while Jake apparently gets off scot free and never gets his license revoked or anything. There also is never really any acknowledgement of just how wrong what he did was, how he should have his license revoked, and how his actions call into question every bit of therapy Ted and Michelle got from him. No one ever questions ‘Oklahoma,’ never mind the entire divorce, relative to this man’s breach of ethics and it bothers me to no end that the most we get is his absence at the end from scenes with Ted, Michelle, and their son. We didn’t need Rupert dressing up like Darth Vader and physically assaulting someone, we needed Michelle realizing how completely wrong her whole relationship with Jake is, dumping him, and reporting him.

The next issue is Ted himself. Obviously, he was in a gloomy sort of mood throughout the whole episode, but I think it’s really important to point out how that didn’t actually clear up once he got home. I do believe he was happy to see his son but, from the plane ride onward, it’s like he’s just hollow. We see him coaching little league soccer for his kid and yet there isn’t any of the heart and soul in it that we’ve seen him put into his other coaching. It’s like he’s depressed, which is understandable because he just left a whole incredible, supportive community to come to Kansas where, like Odysseus at the end of the Oddyssey, he’s a stranger in his own home. He goes from having a whole city around him to support him to seemingly having nothing and not even being a welcome member of his own family since he’s still divorced. Also, as others have pointed out, that montage that seems to be a dream sequence when he’s on the plane ride home is all about him writing himself out of the lives of everyone he just left behind. He’s decided that it’s better for everyone there to just forget about him and move on with their lives as though he was never there and he’s literally dreaming about how happy they’ll be to do that.

This is a major thematic issue for this series because one of the main points of the series is the idea that everyone can change for the better and, more importantly, just about every character does. Ted spends all that time in England working on his own shit like everyone else, and even gets over his aversion to therapy in order to seek help for the first time ever, just to throw all of that away at the very end because apparently he’s just back on his bs and that’s it. This is where it would maybe be alright if there were another season after this one to address and fix this, but there isn’t. In the very last episode of the whole thing he’s throwing away his entire community, dreaming about how happy they’ll be without him, and there’s nothing and no one there correcting that. To me, this is like if right at the end of the last episode with no room left to fix it, they just had Beard go steal another car and then act like the audience is supposed to be okay with it.

The other thing, going off of that, is how they handled some of the relationships, and I specifically want to start off by talking about Ted and Rebecca. They have the distinction of being the only ship to truly be baited, more than once, and very unnecessarily so. The bait scene at the start of the final episode contributes nothing to the plot, the characters, or their relationship with each other — all it does is mock the members of the audience who were foolish enough to believe they ever could have been together. This, to me, also goes against the core values and themes of the show, because ship baiting like that is inherently mean-spirited and Ted Lasso at its core is meant to be kind. There is nothing kind about essentially dangling something over someone’s head, playing keep away with it, until you finally just chuck it in the river and laugh at the person for being so foolish as to think they were ever going to get it. It’s mean for the sake of being mean and again, for the umpteenth time, it contributes nothing.

So then let’s get to Roy, Jamie, and Keeley. Jamie and Roy are another example of a strong relationship that’s developed beautifully over the course of three seasons regressing at the very end because oh no, people ship it and we can’t have that. I do think that Keeley turning both of them down was necessary but Roy and Jamie literally getting into a fistfight over her was completely unnecessary and detrimental to their individual characters. By this point, they both are mature enough and respect Keeley enough that it’s genuinely ooc for them to be fighting each other about who gets to date her while she’s not even there. Season 3 Jamie and Roy would’ve been leaving the decision to her without reverting back to macho Neanderthal crap.

To me, this is also about the creators recognizing that people in the fandom have ships and, for whatever reason, feeling the need to try and shut that down rather than just leaving well alone. If, instead of getting in a fight like they did, Roy and Jamie had a conversation about their shared experiences of wanting to be with Keeley but not knowing where they stand with her and recognizing how hard it is for each other, then it could end up contributing to the further growth of their relationship and, along with it, shipping and oh no, we can’t have that. Just like with Avatar: the Last Airbender, the presence or lack of romantic relationships is not the issue here, the problem is with writers accidentally setting up an incredibly compelling ship and then being like “oops, we didn’t mean to do that,” and trying to ctrl z it in the finale, at the detriment of the whole story. Why oh why do writers keep feeling the need to sacrifice the quality of their whole story for the sake of trying to get people to stop having opinions?

So then last up is Ted and Trent. As many others have pointed out, that bit where Ted’s reading the book and makes that comment about the ‘laugh police’ in response to Trent’s excitement and anxiety is extremely out of character. Ted “but he’s our dork” Lasso would never say that and I was horrified to hear those words come out of his mouth. However, this goes in with the destruction of his entire character arc and every bit of growth he’s done throughout the past three seasons all in this one episode, because that was him actively pushing Trent away because, as previously acknowledged, he’s back on his bs.

One issue with this is that Ted then never has a proper goodbye with Trent and the closest thing to that is the note he left asking Trent to change the title of the book. It’s not that I necessarily think he needed individual goodbyes on screen with every other character but Trent in particular was hugely important for Ted, like how Rebecca was. Do you really mean to tell me that Ted wouldn’t actually say goodbye to the journalist who wrote what, coming from him at the time, was essentially a glowing review when he was actually hired with the intention of destroying Ted’s career? Do you mean to say he wouldn’t get a proper goodbye with the man who threw away his whole career over him? The man who then decided the first thing he wanted to do after leaving said career was to write a book about him and his team? Seriously?

The other thing with Trent is that, where Ted’s ex wife and even Rebecca have felt the need to use ‘Oklahoma’ with him to get him to tell the truth, Trent has a talent for discerning the exact truth from Ted regardless of what he does or does not say. It would have been perfectly in character for him to go talk to Ted like Rebecca tried to but then actually succeed where she failed because he would be able to clearly read Ted’s signals and throw that all back at him. Unlike Rebecca, he could directly call out how much Ted didn’t actually want to leave.

That is actually the biggest issue this episode had — cowardice. The only reason I can think of why they wouldn’t even consider doing something like what I just described is because, like with Roy and Jamie, they are perfectly aware of the chemistry between those characters and how they have set them up so it reads like they’re in love with each other, and a scene like this would be just about impossible to do without coming across as romantic. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Ted and Trent would’ve already been snogging by the start of the season if one of them were a woman. This show did the thing where they’ve decided that they can have a couple gay characters, but those characters can only get with specifically devised side characters because God forbid you just have your two existing characters of the same gender kiss a bit. Between the pairings of Ted and Trent, and Roy and Jamie, there is enough textual evidence of mutual attraction and the potential for real, romantic relationships that one could write over a hundred pages about it, and that is not an exaggeration. When I look at this finale, one of the things I see is the titular character being destroyed because they decided that was better than letting people think that he could maybe not be straight.

The last issue I have here is that there really were no goodbyes. Rebecca showed up at the airport and that’s it and I thought that was very weird and, again, very much not in accordance with the entire rest of the show. Even if they didn’t have the entire team show up at the airport to say goodbye, it didn’t make sense to not even have just the Diamond Dogs show up for that. Where tf was everyone? Because just from watching the whole rest of the show, I think it would be impossible not to expect the team, the dogs, the folks from the pub and maybe also Shannon from town. It was a cold, empty departure far from fitting for the show at all and it left me coming out of that finale feeling cold and empty from the crippling disappointment. They had a whole show centered around interpersonal relationships and support and then had the coldest, loneliest ending anyone there could have devised.

My final thought here is that this is not an ending and the only way to salvage this wreckage is with another season. This feels like something they’re doing to drum up attention and interaction so that it’ll be successful when they do come in and announce that they’ve changed their minds and there will be another season, like an encore at a concert. However, if this really is the end, then I am absolutely disgusted and feel very betrayed right now because this show told me to believe and taught me that maybe hope isn’t actually a bad thing that’s out to get me, just to turn around and crap all over that. This show didn’t just apparently waste hours of my time, it was actually helping to get me to move on from past pain and start to accept hope as a good thing, until it shattered mine. They desecrated the very art they created and then expected the audience to applaud such disrespectful destruction, and I am disgusted by it.

#ted lasso #ted lasso finale #ted lasso meta #ted lasso review #ted lasso s3 #ted lasso season 3 #ted lasso season three #ted lasso spoilers #tedbecca #royjamie #tedtrent #tedependent #ted lasso critical #ted lasso criticism #anti ted lasso

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missmastectomy · 3 months

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Absolutely hate how “queer” has become an acceptable way to refer to LGBT people, as if it’s not a slur. I can’t tell you how many times young straight people have asked if I was “queer,” because most people don’t assume I’m a straight woman.

Like… y’all really have no clue just how offensive that word is. In my conservative southern town, queer = gay = pervert = invert. Less than, disgusting by nature of being SSA or GNC. Not to mention that literally all the older gay people I’ve talked to absolutely think of it as a slur. It never was an identity the way it has become now. It was a degrading term people spat at the time before people were kicked out of their houses, abused, or killed.

Which makes it even more repulsive to me when straight people call themselves this. It’s why I hate the term so much. It is utterly meaningless. You’re queer? Well what the fuck does that mean? And if you push a lot of these people and ask if they’re bi or gay they hardly ever give a straight (lol) answer. Without fail these kinds of people are “queer” because they’re non-binary or demisexual or some made up crap.

Like that Bambi girl from Eurovision. As far as I know she’s not attracted to women or at least never talked about it. Her ENTIRE basis for being LGBT is that she’s non-binary and alternative. But how is that the same as being SSA, or transsexual for that matter?? You live life as a straight woman. Nobody sees you as anything but a woman.

You’re not “queer.” If an LGBT person wants that label then fine. I don’t get it, but call yourself what you like. But not if you’re not SSA. I will always hate these straight activists who had the gall to take our community away from us and make a slur against us mainstream.

#even bi and gay people are using it now too. almost all young people #who don’t have the same experience with queer as a slur as older ppl or those of us who grew up in conservative areas #they only connect it with the modern lgbt movement and a lot of them won’t question the term as an identity #because that invalidates certain people who are in reality… not lgbt lmfao #I hate this term so much

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deckofcookiez · 6 months

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The Alex Kister Situation

Alright; I've been more of a lurker on here for awhile, but for months now--almost a year--I've been a massive fan of the Mandela Catalogue, and this fandom has been a major form of escapism and safety for me. So, I feel the need to say something about the current situation.

To start, I'm putting a link to the document with all of the information about what happened, as it's important to read it and learn about this whole situation in depth:

With that out of the way, I just wanted to share my own personal opinion; personally, Mandela Catalogue has legitimately become my special interest. I have pretty much obsessed over it ever since I first found it, and everything I've written or drawn since then has been to do with it. It's been very important to me, especially due to the community here on tumblr, as this fandom is probably the most supportive and open places on the internet I've found. I feel a lot more connected because of it, and it made me feel comfortable and safe.

I was in a bad mental space today, and when I found out about this, I had a pretty bad breakdown--some might call it an overreaction, but you don't know just how dependent my mental health had become on this series and fandom. (I will be working on avoiding this habit in the future, as it isn't healthy to depend so heavily on one interest)

After reading through the document, and just seeing so many opinions and contributions from others, I am almost certain that these allegations are true. But I always, always listen to all perspectives before making judgement, so I will not be going full "I hate Alex, he's a despicable person!!" before Alex gives his own point of view.

That being said, I do believe Alex has serious issues that he needs to get handled. I am hesitant to call this pedophilia, as from what I've gathered, he didn't seem to have active malicious intent towards minors(correct me if I missed something that said otherwise)--rather, I get the impression that Alex simply doesn't understand boundaries, and genuinely saw his fans as mutuals. He seems to be a person who's manipulative--whether intentionally or not--and his personal relationships, platonic, romantic, or sexual, turn very toxic because of this. So, trying to have personal relationships with fans, people who look up to him and see him in a very different light, results in inevitable toxicity as well.

I get the sense that Alex simply is a young person, struggling with mental health and gender dysphoria, who was thrust into extreme popularity very suddenly, and doesn't have the maturity level to handle it properly. Overall, I do not support him, if he continues to act like this--if he makes genuine, real efforts to deal with his mental health and his unhealthy behaviours, I would respect him for that. I wouldn't look at him quite the same, but as long as someone makes genuine efforts to better themself after doing something wrong, I appreciate and respect that, and may eventually give forgiveness. But, if he doesn't make those efforts, if he continues his patterns and refuses to try and get better, then that is on him and at that point I have lost any and all respect for him. At that point, you are not a good or reasonable person, in my eyes.

Regardless of how things go with Alex himself, though, I want to say...

You do not have to support a creator to enjoy their work!!

I am a huge fan of Danny Phantom, and that show's creator is a genuine piece of shit. Like, a truly despicable human being. That fandom successfully has, just... completely ripped the show and characters from their creator. They have cut him out entirely, nothing he says holds any impact or meaning to them and it hasn't for years. He's seriously fallen off. And it's still a fun, active fandom! The people in there are super neat!!

And, hell, look at the whole mess with J. K. Rowling!! She is an absolutely disgusting person. But so many people grew up with Harry Potter, and still like her stories, without actively supporting her--lots of creators turn out to be really awful people, but that doesn't mean that what they made is automatically awful as well. They still have some kind of creative ability, that happened to produce something that garnered a significant amount of attention.

We don't need Alex to still enjoy the concept, characters, and overall story he's created. We can still make fanworks, still appreciate what it is that drew us to the series in the first place.

Honestly, out of everything that the fallout of this would bring, I was most terrified of the fandom itself dying, as that is what truly matters the most to me. This place, these people are so important to me, and I am so scared of this community falling apart. I've already seen plenty of people stating that they will no longer be associating with TMC, and are just completely distancing themselves from it. It feels like things are already dying and disappearing and it really, really fucking hurts.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that... if that is your choice, if you truly do not want to associate with TMC anymore whatsoever, then I don't blame you for it. I understand if you can't look at the series the same way after this, and I respect that choice.

But you don't have to, if it still means anything to you. Fandoms are more than just their creators--they're the community that has been built around the work, and this community is possibly the best one I've ever been in. I don't want to see it die. So, just know, that you can still love this fandom, this story, these characters, without supporting Alex. You can still draw the characters, make OCs, write fanfiction, etc. He won't get money from that--only from directly watching his content or buying his merch.

Finally, I'd like to say to go support the victims. They didn't deserve this--no matter what Alex's intentions were. Please support them, and regardless of how this turns out, do not continue actively supporting Alex Kister. I am sure that, whatever his intentions were, he did still harm people and that is not okay.

Also, this is all just my own opinion, based on what I know; I was not in the discord, I don't have Twitter, I don't personally know anyone involved and I have not seen everything regarding the situation as a whole. I simply felt I should state my current opinion, as I'm seeing a lot of people freaking out and spiraling and just leaving the fandom entirely. I wanted to remind people that it's okay to still enjoy this fandom and be a part of it, without Alex. My opinion may change some with new information I find, but overall, I am of the opinion that Alex should not be supported, while the Mandela Catalogue itself can be separated from him and still be enjoyed and appreciated.

And, whatever happens... Adam Murray, Jonah Marshall and Thatcher Davis are officially honorary characters in my stash of little guys. If he's not fit to keep them then they will become my creative outlet instead (and others who love them, obviously). They're very special characters to me, I can't express just how many things I have written and drawn to do with them, and I refuse to give them up.

(another addition, regarding the apparent 'alter egos' Alex apparently had: Possibly consider DID? I know a lot of people with DID will often mistake it for other things, including simply being gender non-conforming, when in actuality they really have alters that just identify differently. Not diagnosing, I don't know enough about him to make any real claims--it was just a thought.)

#mandela catalogue #the mandela catalogue #tmc #tw grooming #tw pedophila mention #This is not meant to spark any sort of controversy.#I just wanted to get my opinion out there bc I feel like I'm gonna explode right now #Will still probably post my art of the characters as I'm proud of it and my art has improved significantly since discovering TMC

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antimony-medusa · 1 year

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I read your post on boundaries and the MCYT community recently and have been thinking about as posts that contradict it cross my dash, and I’ve been reflecting on how a lot of what we call “boundaries” are more just like. Community rules? Like take “no sexualization,” for instance. If I’m talking to someone at my workplace, I am not comfortable with them making sexual remarks about me. If someone did, I would tell them so, and not engage in that conversation with them. That’s an actual boundary — something governing how people interact with ME that I am in charge of enforcing. I don’t say “no one is allowed to think anything sexual about me at work ever or tell their friends I’m hot” bc that’s just insane and none of my business, quite frankly. Streamers are well within their rights to say they aren’t comfortable seeing people sexualizing them in their chat or like very publicly on Twitter, but saying no one can sexualize them ever is actually just a community rule, not a personal boundary. Based on how I understand what a boundary is, it can’t be boundary breaking to do something that a creator definitely will not see, because the creator isn’t interacting with the content, and boundaries are about governing comfort in interactions. And saying “I don’t want there to be sexualization or sexual content about me in the main tags bc my main audience is children who browse those tags and they shouldn’t be exposed to that” is a reasonable enough rule to ask your community to follow, but it’s just straight up not a boundary? Like am I misunderstanding what a boundary is? I’m confused bc I’m seeing all this stuff about boundary breaking content and how it’s disgusting even if the creator will never see it and I just don’t get it?

Yeah, I think this is a situation where we're using words to mean something they don't technically mean (see also, "lore"), and then this leads to us also having community arguments about what is acceptable, and it's all totally unnecessary.

Cause the workplace comparison is a good one! If I was telling fellow coworkers how hot they were when they'd said they didn't want to hear that, or walking up to the barista and saying that I wanted them to weigh in on the porn I'd written about them, that would be workplace sexual harrasment and, depending on the severity of the situation, literally a crime I could be charged with. Absolutely inappropriate to do, and I can't express how extremely fair it is that streamers get to say no to that. I am FULLY in support of CCs setting those limits for their spaces and think it's healthy and we all need to respect that.

But "boundaries", as a term, is technically about controlling your own behaviour and people's access to you. You set a boundary and say to your parents "if you bring up grandkids at the christmas meal I will be leaving", or "if you mention [latest discourse] on my blog I will block you". It's about controlling your experiences via your own behaviour and the stuff that you actually see. CC equivalent is saying that any sexualization or shipping in their chats or replies will lead to a block or a ban. That's them controlling their own experience and that's A-ok. Asking a CC to weigh in on what sort of fan work they're comfortable being shown, that's also about them controlling their own experience and is totally fair.

Asking a CC to weigh in on what sort of fan work exists in general— that's not boundaries any more, that's something else entirely. The closest equivilent is companies trying to control what sort of materiel their image or trademarked material show up in, I think? Which is a thing you can do when you're licensing your image, but isn't actually a thing you can do with fan works. Celebrities get to say no they're not going to appear in a commercial advertising an oil company, because they have a moral disagreement with oil companies, but that's because the interaction there is a company offering to pay them money for their image and them declining the money. That's not how fan works operate. The celebrity isn't in a position to decline the money for their "image" being used, because no money is being offered, because the fan isn't making money. It's not a copyright/licensing situation, it's fan works. The celebrity shouldn't be part of the conversation at all, because they should never see that.

And like, there's issues of impersonation or endorsement where it's bad form to do something that looks like it comes from the celebrity, as though they approve of what is being depicted, which is why AI voice lines and deepfakes are being increasingly spoken out against. But man, someone writing Captain Puffy's and PearlescentMoon's cubitos kissing each other on Ao3 and keeping it on Ao3 is not a situation where celebrity endorsement or licensing or impersonation comes in at all. That's a conversation totally within the fandom, without the creators involved. And I really disagree with asking the creator to treat all of fandom like their community, which they should moderate and like, control their image and make kids-and-advertiser-friendly, because that's not how fandom works and also that is unfair to ask of them.

Can one or both of the creators say they don't want to see that? Totally fair. That's a boundary. Can they say that it shouldn't exist in their main tag that kids check? I'm on the side of tagging things to keep them away from minors and people who don't want to see it anyways, rock on. That's a community rule. Can they say that it should never exist ever, anywhere on the internet? That's just not how this works. A) that's not how fan works have ever worked, fan works are for transforming and celebrating existing canon, not for creator approval, and we should stop shoving all of them in creators' faces or asking them to weigh in, B) "boundaries" is entirely the wrong word for what's going on there, like you said. Cause is the mere existence of a thing in a seperate space infriging on the creator's experience and reasonable for them to control? That's what a boundary is, this isn't. C) This isn't even community rules that it makes sense for them to moderate! When you are talking about an entirely different space, cut off from the CCs, doing their own thing to the characters, with age barriers and trigger warnings built in, "boundaries" isn't the right term, but also this doesn't make sense as a space that we're inviting creators into to moderate. This is a seperate space, and stories or art in it aren't hurting people, even if the cc's wouldn't want to see that or even want them in their main community tabs. So yeah when it comes to us enforcing our own community rules, keeping creator boundaries and community rules in mind, the mere existence of a thing does not seem to me like the end of the world. A lot of people have come out and said that all our work needs to be sqeaky clean and able to be shown in the creator's chat, as though the creator is moderating the space and their personal boundaries are involved. And (listing things yet again, this is a post of lists), first of all there's a real focus on sexualization in that case and never on things like family dynamic or kidfic or gore or whump that could also make creators uncomfortable if it was shoved in their faces. (But somehow when anyone brings up those "boundaries" everyone comes to the conclusion that something entirely off on the internet somewhere and never shown to the creators is not going to harm them. Curious.) And second of all, I just disagree that that's a good way to run a fandom community. This is a space for fans, not for the creators, bringing up the "weird stuff" publically to creators is incredibly cruel to people who shouldn't have to see that, AND it's a bad atmosphere for creativity to always want the creators to approve things, fandom is for saying "fuck the man" and doing your own thing. Just tag it to keep it away from people who don't want to see it, and filter the tags for your own experience. Keep everything in its own space and you're good. There's tons of stuff in the fandom that isn't to my taste, ranging from characters that just don't do it for me to tropes that are active turn offs to people writing and undertagging things in ways that is concerning to me. We have got to learn to say "that's not for me" and "that's not for the cc" and put it away (block if you have to) and move on.

#discourse #fandom meta #long post #ask #anon

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daughter-of-sapph0 · 2 years

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the club q shooter is not nonbinary!

he is not! he is a cishet homophobic transphobic man! his father is extremely homophobic and was more upset at the possibility of him being gay than him being a mass murderer! he never claimed to be non-binary! on all his social media, it's constant hatred and bigotry against queer people! he goes to a homophobic church! he constantly posts homophobic slurs and hate speech online! his lawyer only claimed he was nonbinary to get the hate crime charges dropped! far right reporters and news sources are more upset at the fake rumor that this guy is nonbinary than they are at the fact that he killed five people in what is supposed to be a safe space!

look at what they're doing. for decades they have been saying the most horrific disgusting shit and using nazi rhetoric to spread hate and incite violence against us. they called us groomers, pedophiles, disease spreaders, all with no proof at all. they will literally make up shit, so we have to spend time and energy proving a made up talking point is incorrect instead of actually progressing. and now we've reached the absolute peak of homophobic and transphobic violence. these people have done everything to inspire the killer apart from giving him the fucking gun. and immediately after the attack, they skipped straight over the "oh, this guy is bad we don't agree with him" bs phase because they already know no one will believe them. they went straight into "well actually those five people deserved to die because that bar was hosting drag show... wait... library reading.... kids dancing... uh... something bad.... like grooming... yeah... there's a poster from that bar that says 'we fuck children Wednesday nights 8-12pm'. no I don't have this poster. you just have to trust me" and all this other stupid pathetic easily disproven bullshit. but the far right actually believe it because they can't listen to anyone else. they decide that this made up evidence is grounds for being murdered, and that somehow makes it okay. but now, they're going to deny they ever said that shit even though it's all online and public forever. they're going back to the "oh this was extremely unjustified and terrible and we don't agree" because now they have a reason to hate the killer. they think he's nonbinary. he isn't. they're going to say this is "queer on queer crime" when it isn't. they're going to say this is an issue specifically isolated to the queer community, when it isn't. they're going to blame all nonbinary people for this attack, when they didn't blame all homophobic people for this attack three days ago. they're going to use this stupid made up evidence as another stupid talking point that will inspire more murderers and more hate crimes. don't believe them. nothing the far right says is true anymore. it's all lies. they want to commit genocide on anyone they don't like.

for your protection and the protection of the entire queer community:

buy a gun and learn to use it. defend yourself and your community

#dostxt #homophobia #transphobia #club q

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graceofagodswrath · 2 years

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Transformers x Humans Are Space Orcs - A Rant

Alright, I’m gonna complain about something I don’t see talked about enough. Maybe I haven’t found the people who do, so if you know em point me in their direction.

Transformers. I’ve been a long time fan. I’ve watched G1, Animated, Prime, Bayverse, RID, Rescue, WFC, and read all of MTMTE/LL, and I’m excited for the upcoming Earthspark. Course that’s only half if not less of all the content, but enough to prove I’m a fan. Love the characters and world building.

But unfortunately, the majority of not all the Transformers canon content suffers from one major factor that is common among entertainment featuring non-human beings: half-assed human characters. Humans described as wimpy little shits (except Agent Fowler from TFP that man has my eternal respect and love).

Usually the only reason human characters are inserted is to create a relatable character for viewers. But the majority of characters are already relatable, so it’s a moot concept I think we can all accept.

But I cannot for the life of me understand why one would have to give up a realistic, interesting personality for a human character, but give the non-human characters everything. Just take the human characters out for fucks sake!

If you’ve read my other posts, you’re aware I’m an avid lover of Humans are Space Orcs. This community is amazing at digging up mundane or strange facts about humans and turning those into shorts centered around terrifying aliens. That’s what I have always wanted to see in a Transformers story.

I hate the constant “don’t step on them, they’re squishy, gross organics, small and fragile, protect like little cute worm” shit. I’m so tired of it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware there are some badass human character sim the Transformers canon. But they are so far and few, and even then Transformers characters never give them their due.

And that is a main theme in the entire canon. Technoism, I think it’s called. Racism between inorganic and organic species. It’s a very real and moving part of the plot that I love and hate for its realism. Something that always gets me is how even the Transformers characters that are closest with humans (Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, Jazz, etc) still seem to treat humans like little primitive puppies that need their constant protection (this is more prominent in IDW than the more pg shows). And the human personalities don’t help.

The point I’m trying to make is, I want to see Transformers reacting to humans the same way we write aliens reacting to humans. Being confused, scared, in awe or disgust. If someone else doesn’t write it, I will.

Eventually.

I want Megatron to actually recognize humans as a threat. I want him to freak the fuck out when he sees what we can do. I want Optimus Prime to feel a little fear at some human tearing apart a transformer. Somehow.

One idea I’ve always loved is a scenario where a human is mass displaced to be just as big as an average Cybertronian. And they kick ass. They go absolute apeshit like I wrote a character going apeshit over his cat. I want to see transformers understanding just how lethal humans are when you pick on a bitch your own size.

If I get enough requests to do it, I might write it. But I’ve started so much other shit I need to continue, oh mah lawd. I don’t care. I needed to rant.

Thx for coming to my Ted talk.

#humans are space orcs #humans are deathworlders #humans are space australians #humans are weird #humans are crazy #transformers #megatron #optimus prime #tf mtmte #tf lost light #transformers prime #a rant by me #maccadam

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jammatown919 · 5 months

Text

Mistakes Were Made (Chapter One)

A Lightcannon fic I've been chipping away at for a while now.

Fic Description: Jinx unintentionally forces Lux to out herself as a mage.

Lux never would have thought so much good could come out of being kidnapped.

Sure, most people would be terrified to have a blue-haired stranger appear in a flash of light and whisk them away to some sort of pocket dimension for a death match with eight more strangers, but honestly... it had been really, really fun.

Once she'd gotten over the initial shock of it all, Lux didn't have as much of a problem playing along as one might think. The stranger, Jinx, had been more than happy to demonstrate to her that no one could really die in this place she called the Rift, via a swift gunshot to her own head. Lux had maybe screamed a little, but it was definitely comforting to have confirmation that a fallen player would simply reappear at one of two ends of the map, no worse for wear.

Really, it was a lot easier than it should have been to get Lux to play, and from there, everything just sort of spiraled.

Free of all consequences and a good amount of her usual inhibitions, Lux was able to really let loose with her magic for the first time. Jinx seemed to appreciate her raw power and how ever so slightly nuts she'd gone at possibly her only opportunity to do literally whatever she wanted with it. The two of them didn't even need their teammates to completely dominate the game, which they did with reckless abandon.

When it was over, Jinx returned Lux safely home as she'd promised, but not without a promise whispered in the seconds before she vanished again: "I am definitely keeping you, Blondie."

For about a month after that, Lux managed to convince herself it had been some crazy, fantastical dream brought on by her repressive environment. In a country like Demacia, with a family like the Crownguards, it was only natural her subconscious mind would invent a reality it preferred. One where she could use her magic freely, go off on an adventure, and buddy up to someone who represented all of her temptations in life, both physical and otherwise.

But then Jinx made good on her promise, and Lux instead convinced herself she'd simply received a gift from some god somewhere out there. The escape she longed for was real, and her new friend had come back for her.

They continued their games whenever they could, typically at one-to-two-month intervals because of how difficult it could be to get ten people from all over the world together. Lux noticed as time went on that there would often be changes to roster of other players, until at one point she and Jinx were the only two left from their first game.

"Ah, sometimes you just gotta swap 'em out for people who are more fun," Jinx said when Lux asked about it. "Not you, though, Blondie. You were always the most fun."

Eventually, after quite a few swaps and trial runs, Jinx managed to put a solid long-term team together. Her and Lux, of course, with the addition of a surprisingly friendly creature made entirely out of green slime, a pink-haired songbird type on an elaborate hoverboard, and a man in a mask with a very different hoverboard who absolutely refused to play until Jinx pulled him aside for a long private conversation.

Zac, Seraphine, and Ekko. All people Jinx claimed were from home. Or almost, in Sera's case. It was these three, particularly Ekko, who gave Lux some much needed insight into Jinx as a person.

Another area in which Lux differed from most people was that most people would probably feel betrayed or disgusted or afraid upon hearing that their friend had blown up a city-state's entire government. But Lux had heard a thing or two about Piltover's old Council, largely from some of the previous players Jinx had brought around, and to be honest, she considered blowing them up to be an act of community service. A little brutal, yes, but a genuine favor to the people suffering under their rule.

What got to her a little more were the personal blows Ekko had taken. The betrayal of his oldest friend, and her subsequent murders of several of his newer friends. Only the fact that she hadn't gone near him in years made it possible for him to look at her now. Only an old, barely surviving desire to see her be better compelled him to play her game. She needed it, he claimed, to get the crazy out somewhere it wouldn't really hurt anyone.

Jinx didn't seem to love being presented with this information later that day, but she engaged with it nonetheless. Admitted to everything. Agreed with Ekko's assessment. The game was fun, yes, but it was primarily an outlet. A form of therapy, almost. Lux had to respect her for that; for recognizing what she needed to keep herself in check and following through with it.

They played on for another year, mostly sticking with Jinx's favorite assortment of allies but consistently switching up the members of the enemy team to keep things interesting. Lux got more and more used to this recreational violence, but she still found it exciting every time.

Strangely, though, the most exciting part to her was always that Jinx had never lost her initial awe of Lux's performance in the games. She was consistently impressed, often staring, and always laying the praise on thick. This all came to a head after a particularly exciting match, in which Lux had stuck with Jinx in the bottom section of the map and completely destroyed their lane with her. That, according to Jinx, had been "super hot", and one thing led to another led to Lux pinned against a tree in the jungle area with Jinx's lips and hands roaming her body.

This quickly became a standard post-game ritual of theirs, and over the course of the next six months, they grew steadily more emotionally invested each other. Neither of them could say exactly when their relationship became "official", but it did at one point or another, and thinking about it got Lux through the time spent between matches with her mental health more or less intact.

Even at times like this, when she was cooped up in the Crowngaurd Estate, awaiting tomorrow's arrival of a suitor she'd been expected to entertain for at least a weekend, she could sit by her window and draw little pictures of her girlfriend. And once the man was gone, rejected at the end of his opportunity to court her like the three that had come before him, she could look forward to the next game.

She did wonder how many more suitors her parents would allow her to cycle through before they really began to insist that she settle down, but she felt safe for the moment. At least for now, her family seemed to perceive her rejection of each and every suitor as pickiness, and that was fine by them. No noble would want their daughter to settle for just anyone, after all. She could turn up her nose at prospective mates all she wanted, and they'd simply keep bringing in more for her consideration.

It would likely get worse as she aged and cut into more of her "childbearing years", as her mother liked to put it, but for now, she was twenty-three and tolerated in her role as the stuck-up young noblewoman who would settle for no less than the perfect husband.

Yeah, right, she chuckled to herself as she outlined the shape of Jinx's shoulders on her page. Like there's such a thing.

For her, at least, there would never be such a man. One day, when it all got to be too much, she would leave this place behind. Jinx would come for her and whisk her away, not for the day but forever. For all the love she held for her family and the better aspects of her country, Lux knew her future did not lie here. She would leave it all behind eventually, when she was ready to say goodbye.

Until then, she would draw and play pretend and dream and be satisfied with her brief escapes.

She smiled at Jinx's sketched face looking up at her, longing to see the real thing again. They were about due for another game, but Jinx tended to show up with absolutely no warning, so Lux could only give her best guess as to when they'd see each other.

Right now, apparently.

The window by Lux's desk flew open despite having definitely been locked a second before, and in climbed the very woman who occupied the majority of Lux's thoughts these days.

"Mornin', Sunshine," Jinx crowed, dropping from the window to her feet.

"It's nighttime," Lux corrected her gently. Jinx squinted out the open window, like she'd only just realized.

"Huh," she said under her breath. "Guess so."

"It's good to see you, but what's with the entrance tonight?" Lux inquired, recapturing Jinx's attention. "You usually just zap right into my room. And... how did you even get up to my window?"

"Ah, y'know, climbed, dodged some guards," Jinx said rather flippantly. "Had a pretty good time, I guess, but that's not the important part. It's game time, Blondie! Got everything all ready to go!"

"Tonight?" Lux asked.

"Yeah, for tonight." Jinx held out her hand, as she often did, to invite Lux into her teleporter's range.

"I'm sorry, Jinx, but I can't tonight." Honestly, it was kind of a miracle they'd gotten this far without ever having some kind of scheduling conflict. "I have to be up at dawn to greet a suitor."

"A what?" Jinx's brow furrow slightly.

"A suitor," Lux echoed. "A man my parents invited here to get to know me. He's going to spend the weekend trying to court me."

"Huh?" In an adorably canine fashion, Jinx tilted her head to the side.

"Trying to impress me so I might want to marry him," Lux explained. "And I won't, of course! I send all my suitors away. But I still have to entertain them for the time they're given."

"Ohhhh." Jinx let out a small chuckle, which was a better reaction than Lux had expected. Knowing her and her past, threatening to simply murder all of Lux's suitors had been a very real possibility. Instead, she said, "just skip it."

"What?" Like it would ever be that easy. It wasn't even an option, really.

"Skip it," Jinx persisted. "You don't wanna do it, right? And it's stopping you from doing something you do wanna do. So just don't do it. Come with me instead."

Lux would be lying if she said the idea wasn't tempting, but she knew better than to think she could accept. It was too easy to lose track of time on the Rift; too easy to have it interfere with the plans that had been made for her. She would never be able to come up with an acceptable excuse if someone came looking for her and she was nowhere to be found on such an important day.

"I'd like to, Jinx, but I really can't," Lux said as gently as she could. "I have to wait until after this weekend."

"Aw, c'mon, Blondie," Jinx pleaded. "Everyone else is ready to go. We need ya."

"Maybe you can find a substitute this time?" The suggestion almost physically pained her, but not as much as it seemed to offend Jinx.

"No way," she said stubbornly. "You're the best part. It won't be any fun without you."

"I'm flattered, but-" Lux stopped dead as someone knocked twice at her bedroom door. Her entire body stiffened, and she stood to grab Jinx as if she were going to shove her back out the window. "Shit. You have to go."

"Why?" There was a distinct whine to Jinx's voice that was entirely too loud for the situation.

"Luxanna? Are you talking to someone?" Garen called from the other side of the door. Lux supposed it was better than her parents, but still not good by any means.

"I can't let anyone see you," Lux hissed. "I can't explain this to my family."

"I ain't scared of 'em," Jinx protested, "and you shouldn't be either. They're just a bunch'a fancy dickheads with sticks up their asses. I don't get why you think you have to listen to them."

"Lux, are you alright?" The knocking grew louder and more insistent. "Who's in there?"

"Jinx, please." But it was too late.

The door wasn't locked. Lux never locked it, because why would she in a place like this, where she was always safe and disturbing her privacy was a punishable offense for anyone but the parents who rarely cared to visit her quarters? Except Garen had probable cause, hearing an unfamiliar voice in Lux's room.

He threw the door right open and walked on in. For a second, nothing happened. They were just three people staring at each other. Then, all Hell broke loose.

Garen quickly took notice of Jinx's weapons and reached for his sword. Why he had it on him right now, Lux didn't know and didn't have time to ask. Jinx, in response, removed the gun she called Zapper from its holster and pressed it to the side of Lux's head.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Lux glanced back at her, bewildered but not afraid. Crazy as she was, Jinx would never pull the trigger. Not on her.

"Lux!' Garen quickly drew his blade, but the gun to her head stayed his hand. Guns weren't common weapons in Demacia, but Garen knew enough to know he would never cross the room fast enough. If Jinx actually wanted to kill Lux, she could do it in an instant. "Unhand her!"

Jinx took Lux by the arm and dragged her up from her seat. "New game, Blondie."

"What?" Oh, Lux did not like the sound of that.

"If we can't play fight, we'll play keep-away instead." Jinx secured her free arm around Lux's middle and began to back them both up toward the window.

"Jinx, wait-"

Lux didn't have time to finish her objection before Jinx, dragging her along, leaped through the open window. She didn't know which was louder; Garen's horrified cry or Jinx's shriek of delight as they plummeted toward a well-kept garden three stories below.

"Do your thing, Blondie!" she called.

Her thing? What the hell was "her thing" in a situation like this?

"Break our fall!" Jinx clarified when Lux just stared at her incredulously.

Oh! She wanted a hard light barrier, like the ones Lux often used to shield herself and her allies on the Rift. It probably wouldn't work to break a fall in the traditional sense, but Lux was no stranger to getting creative with her magic. She just had to pray nobody saw.

They both collided hard with a barely visible structure that had appeared directly beneath them, then began to slide forward at a sharp decline that gradually eased up. Lux kept her eyes closed, concentrating on the next few feet, then the next, then the next, trying to keep them at a pace that would get them to the ground quickly but not injure them on impact.

It was harder than one might think to keep up with it, even with all the magic practice she got on the Rift, and Jinx hollering excitedly in her ear didn't help.

They landed in a rosebush and seemed to take every single thorn with them as they rolled out in a tangled heap. Jinx ended up on top of Lux, staring down at her with bright eyes and a joyful grin.

"You gotta do that more often!"

"Shhh!" Lux sat up, nearly smacking her forehead against Jinx's with the speed of it, spitting out leaves as she harshly shushed her. "Someone probably heard us land. You have to get out of here."

"Aww, don't worry, Blondie," Jinx replied lightly. "I'm great at keep-away!"

"No," Lux groaned, but she didn't have time to air her frustrations. She could already hear voices and footsteps swiftly approaching.

"And that's our cue." Once more, Jinx grabbed Lux by the arm and hoisted her up, then she took off running. Lux was left with no choice but to stumble after her, mind searching desperately for a way to defuse this situation.

"Jinx, there's nowhere to go!" Lux insisted.

"That's what they think." Jinx casually raised Zapper to remind Lux she still had it, even though by all logic she really should've dropped it in the fall.

"No!" Lux pushed Jinx's arm down. She didn't know what the hell she would do if Jinx shot her guards.

"What's the matter?" Finally, Jinx seemed to realize Lux wasn't having fun.

Unfortunately, it was that exact moment that the guards started to catch up with them. Everywhere Lux looked, a different pair of patrolling guards ran toward them, swords drawn. One of them recognized her in the dark and called out to her by name, spurring the others on.

"You have to leave!" Lux insisted, yanking her arm out of Jinx's grasp. "Zap away. I-I'll do my best to clean up this mess."

"Lux..." Jinx licked her lips, her brow furrowing as she tried to put the pieces together. She had finally clocked that Lux was upset, but not why. "It's just a game, babe. You love games."

"They're not playing!" Lux gestured with one hand at the swiftly approaching guards and used the other to lightly shove at her girlfriend.

"The Pilties were never playing either," Jinx said. "That never stopped me. C'mon, lighten up. It'll be fun."

She raised her gun again. The guards were definitely in range, and almost close enough to reach Jinx with their swords. They were out of time.

"STOP IT!" The scream escaped Lux before she had a chance to think about it, and so did the burst of arcane energy.

Instantly, everyone but her and Jinx froze in their tracks, caught up in a shimmering wall of mana that she frequently used to immobilize people on the Rift. It was one of her favorite things to do; laughing while her enemies raged about being rendered defenseless. Now, though, it gave her a strong urge to throw up.

The guards were frozen physically, but they were still aware. They would still know what Lux had done to them. That she was a mage.

She'd just outed herself in probably the worst way possible.

Part of her expected Jinx to hoot and holler and try to drag her away again, but it seemed the scream had stunned her. Lux had never screamed at her before.

"What's wrong?" she asked, equal parts gentle and anxiety. "We're just playin', right?"

"No!" Lux snapped, tears burning her eyes. "No one else is playing, Jinx! I'm not playing!"

Jinx shrank back with something of a kicked-puppy expression and said, "ohh, fuck... shit, Blondie, I'm sorry. I'll take ya back upstairs, I-"

"No." Lux stepped away from Jinx's outstretched hand. Upstairs wouldn't help her now. Honestly, at this point, the safest option for her would probably be to just go with Jinx after all. Now that all these people had seen her magic, suitors would be the least of her concerns. The oppressive laws of her homeland would be turned on her in full force.

And yet... she still wasn't ready to leave.

"Go home, Jinx," she murmured.

"B-but you're cryin'." Jinx continued to reach for her, but Lux wouldn't have it.

"Please." Lux met Jinx's horrified eyes and held her gaze. "Please, go."

"Okay..." Jinx replied, small and sad. "I'll see ya later, yeah?"

"Yeah." Despite the emotional turmoil, the fear and uncertainty for her immediate future, Lux managed a smile. "Yeah. Love you."

"Love you too." In a flash of electric blue light, Jinx was gone, and not a moment too soon. Lux's spell probably wouldn't have lasted much longer.

Seeing no use in stalling, she released the guards, but refused to look at any of them. She hung her head, tears of fear and grief for the life she'd certainly just lost streaming down her face, and sank to her knees to await judgement.

------

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#lightcannon #luxanna crownguard #jinx league of legends #jinx arcane #my writing #mistakes were made #tagging fic titles now for easy searching if anyone ever wants to go back to them

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