#and by the time that was done i was too tired to start writing
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sturnslutz Ā· 2 days ago
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Smut with CEO matt?
this has been rotting in my inbox and drafts because i genuinely donā€™t know what to write for ceo mattā€¦
matt had invited you over again to babysit amelia. this has been kind of a weekly thing where he just goes to the bar or wherever he needs to on the weekends and youā€™re stuck at his house watching bluey for 4 hours.
the thing is, heā€™s basically forgetting about the plans you have. youā€™re a college student and donā€™t want to be just at work or babysitting all the time. you actually do have to study, or just hangout with friends.
this is where youā€™re at, at his house basically arguing.
ā€œmatt cmon! i canā€™t always be at work or babysitting lia! i have an actual life!ā€
matt scoffs, looking to the side where the staircase is. ā€œi understand that, but you can at least try.ā€ ā€œtry to what? try to be sane? no, matt.ā€
heā€™s tired of this attitude from you, as his face softens a bit. he knew you were stressed, and he wanted to take that stress away. he walks over, wrapping his arms around your hips and pulling you closer to him softly.
ā€œi know youā€™re stressed, baby. iā€™m sorry.ā€ he ducks his head down into your neck, peppering soft kisses across your skin, occasionally biting a bit. ā€œlemme make you feel good, yeah? howā€™s that sound?ā€
you canā€™t miss the growing wet patch in your panties. itā€™s been a while since you and matt have actually done anything, and youā€™ve been aching. it doesnā€™t take long for matt to break your stubbornness, eliciting a small nod and whine from you.
he smirks, grabbing your hand and bringing the two of you upstairs to his room. he pushes you to the bed, closing and locking the door. ā€œlia is watching one of her shows so she should be occupied for a bit, but make sure to watch your volume, bee.ā€ you nod softly as you watch him take his shirt and sweatpants off, you doing the same.
the two of you are left in your underwear, matt grabbing your ankles and bringing you closer to the edge. he kisses your stomach and chest softly, whispering ā€œiā€™m so sorryā€ ā€œyou deserve betterā€ but those words quickly fade out of your head at the feeling of his lips on your skin.
he can feel your aching, and slips his arms under your chest to unhook your bra, letting your boobs pool out. he leans down and kisses all over them, some open-mouthed. he lets his fingers come to the waistband of your panties, hooking his fingers through them while looking up at you for your approval.
thatā€™s one thing about him, heā€™s a slut for consent. no matter how many times you two could hookup, heā€™s always asking. you nod softly, your patience running out. ā€œneeda hear words, kid. yā€™know that.ā€ ā€œyes, matt. you can.ā€ he doesnā€™t waste another second, tugging down your panties, causing a slight chill to run through you.
he kisses your clit softly, giving it a kitten lick. ā€œmatt stop teasing!ā€ a choked sob releases from your mouth as he just nods and chuckles softly. he leans up, taking off his boxers and patting your clit with his tip a couple times.
he slides his tip inside before taking it out in the same second, continuing to tease, earning a small whine from you. he pats your cheek before tugging on it gently. ā€œi know, baby. yā€™wanna be stuffed, huh? yeah, i know. youā€™ve been so good taking care of my house.ā€ he coos.
he finally slides himself in, being a bit careful as this was only the second time you guys have actually had sex. he waits for your approval to start moving, and when you finally nod and say, ā€œmoveā€, he does.
he goes in and out slowly before going a bit faster, his eyes stuck on your tits moving and your face twisting in pleasure. a choked moan is released from you as he angles himself a bit differently in you, hitting a certain spot you would never be able to reach.
he smirks at this, continuing to hit it repeatedly, the pleasure almost becoming too much for you. ā€œmatt- fuck!ā€ he chuckles softly, patting your cheek once again. ā€œcmon, bee. use your words, smart girl.ā€
he goes faster, and your thoughts are immediately erased. the pleasure is so good and you canā€™t believe youā€™re even able to feel this good.
you cover your mouth tightly as he goes even faster, the sounds the two of you making thankfully covered by the increased volume of bluey matt had turned up before.
the knot in your stomach started tightening by each thrust matt was taking and he noticed this. ā€œgonna cum?ā€ you nod repeatedly, moaning as his thumb makes way to your clit, rubbing softly before pressing slightly harder, and rubbing faster, but not to the point it wasnā€™t pleasurable.
with a final moan, you release all over him and his eyes make their way to his now even more soaked dick and he groaned a bit at the sight. ā€œmā€™ almost there, baby. think you can last a bit longer?ā€
ā€œmmph- yes! yes, i can!ā€ you get out barely and he chuckles at your attempt. he grips his hands on your hips, hitting a certain spot inside you that feels amazing for the both of you.
ā€œwanā€™ me to fill you up, bee?ā€ he looks up at you as you nod and whine out a small ā€œyesā€ and he nods, finally stopping his movements, filling you up. he also got another orgasm out of you, so you finished all over him once again.
the mixed fluids of the two of you sat at the base of his dick as he pulled out carefully, earning a small whine out of you. ā€œiā€™m sorry, bee.ā€ he says softly as he picks up the liquids, pushing them back into you with his middle finger.
he stands up and walks to the bathroom that was thankfully in his room, and grabs a now wet towel and a water bottle.
he comes over to the bed, spreading you apart once again as he pats you softly, cleaning you. once he was finished with you, he used the towel to clean himself up too.
once he was finished, he tossed the towel and cracked open the water for you, holding it up to your lips. ā€œdrink, bee.ā€ his hand makes way to the back of your head, lifting it up carefully so you wouldnā€™t choke.
once you were finished, he drank some of it himself before closing it.
he walked over to his dresser, grabbing you both some clothes, helping you put them on. he tucked you in before finishing dressing himself before kissing your forehead. ā€œiā€™ll be right back, baby. iā€™m gonna go check on lia.ā€ you nod softly as he smiles a bit before walking out.
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sagesbard Ā· 17 hours ago
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Okayy so this is my first time doing a request BUTTTT can you do Daisuke brat taming reader? Idk I just want him to be rough..šŸ˜£šŸ™
Oooooo now this I'm actually excited to write :3
NSFW MDNI
Daisuke x bratty f! Reader
Daisuke was so tired. So done with everything. Swansea had been on his ass all day with stupid shit. He just wanted to go to his room with his girlfriend and have a decent night. Until you started teasing him, bending over to pick things up in a way you normally never did. A way you knew drove him crazy. The way your hips swayed when you walked towards him. Looking up at him with those big doe eyes. God he was so over today, honestly he was waiting for an excuse to take his frustration out on something. That something being you.
You've been bent over the bed for what felt like hours now. Tears brimming your eyes as Daisuke's hand came down on your ass once more. Making you jump and whimper at the contact. "Awww is the little bratty bitch crying?" He laughed meanly. " Too bad, looks like the consequences of her actions have finally caught up to her." He said, his brown eyes glaring down at you." Here's what you're gonna do, you're going to get on your knees and suck me off until I cum down that pretty little throat of yours then maybe, just maybe, I'll fuck you until you can't walk straight." He said, gently shoving you onto your knees in front of him. The bulge in his pants a dead giveaway to how much he was getting off on this. " Go on, get to work." He said, looking down at you. Your hands made quick work of his belt, pulling out his cock as you wrapped your lips around it. Looking up at him as his hand went to your hair. Gripping it gently as he thrusted into your mouth. Tears brimming your eyes as you gagged, Daisuke groaned as he huffed, fucking your throat as if it were a toy. You were practically soaking through your panties. Your eyes crossing while he fucked your throat. "Fuck m' gonna cu-um." He whimpered, that's the Daisuke you knew. With a few more thrusts he came down your throat. You pulled off and started coughing. His eyes were filled with concern as he held your face gently. "Color?" He asked. "Green." You replied. "Good, now get the fuck over here." He said, putting you face down ass up. His cock teasing your cunt. "I want you to apologize for being such a teasing little bitch today." He said, grinding against your entrance. "M' sorry Dai." You whined against the pillow. His hand came cracking down onto your ass once more. "There we go, that wasn't so hard was it?" He asked, pushing into you, burying himself to the hilt. Your back arching as he started a brutal pace. The only thing being heard in the room was the slapping of skin and your desperate moans. "This what you needed? To be fucked like a whore?" He asked, gripping your hips harshly. You nodded as you hummed a small 'mhmm'. You were so close, you just needed a little more for you to cum. Daisuke stopped. "Beg. Say you're sorry and that you won't pull anything like that again." He said, a smile on his face. "I'm sorry, I won't do anything like that again I promise. Just please let me cum." You whined. "Atta girl." He said, speeding up his movements again as he reached around your body. Playing with your clit as your eyes crossed. That knot in your stomach snapping as your came all over his cock. It didn't take long for him to cum after. Once you two were tied out he laid down next to you. "Was I too rough baby?" He asked, those puppy dog eyes coming back within a second. "No it was great." You said with a smile kissing him sweetly. "Good."
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shy-canadian-snowflake Ā· 2 days ago
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Poolverine 12. Writer and editor au
ā€œAnd how many fucking times have you tried calling this guy?ā€ Logan asked Ellie who looked far too tired for it to only be Monday.Ā 
ā€œThree on Thursday, ten on Friday, and so far sixteen today.ā€ He checked his watch, it was only 11am.Ā 
ā€œYou sure heā€™s not dead?ā€ The woman shook her head, sitting up straighter as she pulled her computer close. Logan came around to her side, watching as she typed away. A website he knew his daughter used to post memes and ā€˜shit-posts dad, itā€™s a hellsiteā€™ came up. She logged in and second later had another account up.Ā 
ā€œHeā€™s been blogging all night. Memes, pokemon fanart, some boobs on his private account. This is his main where fans sometimes send questions and he sometimes answers them. That question there.ā€ She pointed to a question. ā€˜Why donā€™t you get off your lazy ass and reply to your goddamn editorā€™. ā€œI asked him that at 2am.Ā Ā 
Logan scratched at his scruff as he read the reply. ā€˜My dear dear Ellie, suck my dick. Iā€™ll send you the next chapter once Iā€™m done.ā€™
ā€œAnd thatā€™s the only communication heā€™s given you? When the hell is his book due?ā€ He lent back. Ellie turned in her seat and shook her head at him.Ā 
ā€œNo. I sent him another question and he made a post about authors needing time to see their babies grow or some shit. Thatā€™s the last I heard from him, but he reblogged a cat playing in snow about a minute ago.ā€ She was back on her laptop, refreshing the page. ā€œAnd some fanart for his series.ā€
ā€œHm.ā€ Logan grunted looking over the screen once more. Deadpool, real name Wade Wilson was a handful. Thatā€™s how he went through six editors in two years. Ellie was at her wits end and had called in Logan to deal with him. Logan was the editor they called in as a last choice. He wasnā€™t afraid to barge into an author's house and harass them until they wrote. Charles, the owner of the publishing house, said to him that this guy might be his biggest task yet.Ā  ā€œAnd when is his book due?ā€
ā€œNext monday. He has a week to get three chapters done, and for me to edit them. Charles wanted it half a month ago.ā€
ā€œGot it. Pack up your laptop, we are going to give this little prick a visit.ā€Ā 
-
ā€œHey now, youā€™re an all star, something something, get paid.ā€ A voice from the otherside of the door that the two editors stood at. Logan clenched his jaw as he knocked on the door. There was silence before a light patter of feet came to the door. Logan stood there with his arms crossed, Ellie just off to the side to not be seen by the author through the peephole.Ā 
ā€œAre you the dancer Dopinder got me for my birthday?ā€ Came the voice on the other side of the door. Logan uncrossed his arms, and jutted out a hip.Ā 
ā€œSure thing Bub. Open the door so we can get the party started, darlinā€™ā€ The door was unlocked and thrown open with such speed it nearly got torn off its hinges. Logan didnā€™t waste another second, shouldering himself inside with Ellie on his heels.Ā 
ā€œWhat- Oh come on! You got me excited for nothing?ā€ The man whine when he saw the woman enter. ā€œWhat, did you get me this piece of eye candy in hopes to trade for the next chapter?ā€
Logan ignored the man as he looked around the room. Pizza boxes, random socks thrown on the floor, the dumbest looking dog heā€™d ever seen laying beside an open laptop. He moved towards the laptop and opened it up.Ā 
ā€œChapter 23
What the actual fuck do I write here. They all died. The end.ā€
ā€œHey, that's private info thatā€™s only supposed to be between me and the Xavierā€™s publishing house.ā€ Wade had slapped the laptop out of Loganā€™s hands. It landed on the dog, who gave a disgruntled sniff and layed back down.Ā 
ā€œI am a fucking editor. Heā€™s still working on chapter 23, what was the last chapter you got?ā€ Ellie opened up her own laptop and was going through some documents. She looked a little less disheartened when she looked up again.Ā 
ā€œ20.ā€ Logan grabbed Wade by the shoulder and shoved him down beside the dog. With one hand holding him there, he bent down so they were face to face. He ignored the manā€™s pretty eyes as he spoke.Ā 
ā€œHere is what we are going to do Bub. You are going to give your editor those two chapters, then you and I are going to get the next few out. I donā€™t care if I have to tie you up and glue your handā€™s to the fucking keyboard. You will start writing, and you will not stop until your fingers bleed. You are getting this done, today.ā€ Wade looked from Logan to Ellie.Ā 
ā€œWhere the hell did you find this guy? Heā€™s going to get my dick hard, not get rid of my writerā€™s block.ā€ Logan grabbed him, spun him around and pinned him on the floor, sitting on the manā€™s back.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m the editor they call when authors are being little shits.ā€ Wade moaned into the floor and nodded.Ā 
ā€œYeah, Okay. I can work with this. Sexy mafia boss business. Got a real bad boy air aboutcha ā€Ā 
ā€œSend me the last two chapters Wade, and I can leave you two toā€¦ all this.ā€ She waved a hand at them. Logan sat the computer in front of Wade, still sitting on his back. The man quickly sent the editor the last two chapters. He then opened his own document.Ā 
ā€œChapter 23.
Write here about MC getting his fucking back blown out by some mafia boss-editor person.ā€
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zoswriting Ā· 1 day ago
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āœ¦ ā€˜if you ask an axolotlā€¦ā€™
ā¤· synopsis : you figured out the best way to put shoto to sleep in seconds.
ā¤· a/n : a quick drabble, just to try and get myself writing again (i knew this would happen), but this is based off of that one axolotl song on tiktok. if you donā€™t know what iā€™m talking about, i mean this. itā€™s been stuck in my head for way too long and i swear, it silences every thought i have.
ā¤· warnings : fluff, not proofread (nothing is proofread anymore, i canā€™t be bothered for that shit), on that note i have no idea if this makes sense because itā€™s late, shotoā€™s essentially just a big baby, i feel like heā€™d have no idea around lullabies, poor baby didnā€™t get any growing up, i donā€™t know what else to put here, have fun
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ā€˜thereā€™s an axolotl on the pinkā€” stairs. is an axolotl supposed to beā€” there? if you ask an axolotl, if theyā€™ll be back tomorrowā€¦ā€™ was all that would run through your head. you could be doing anything; trying to clean, working, trying to sleep, every day tasks, and that damn, soothing-ass song would be engrained into your brain.
youā€™d find yourself singing it out loud at the most random times, too. watching tv? making dinner? showering? a pink axolotl was mentioned in at least every thought of yours. and now it consumed shotoā€™s too.
the first time heā€™d heard you find the video, it was late at night. both of you were trying to sleep, and he was watching you as you scrolled on tiktok endlessly. itā€™s not like he was tiredā€”yea, he knew he should probably be asleep, but itā€™s not like it was too late, and itā€™s not like he was fighting to keep his eyes open either. but the minute the second line played? he was out like a light.
heā€™d woken up feeling so utterly refreshed, still laying in the same position he fell asleep inā€”on his side right beside you, his chin still on your shoulder. this was the best sleep heā€™s had in days, weeks even, and he kept trying to figure what he did differently. was it because you were there? no, you were always there, always asleep next to him. was it because you washed his hair for him that day? yea, it gets him relaxed, but youā€™ve done it countless times and heā€™s never got these results. so what was it that was different?
and then he heard you singing it for the next week, and every time you did in that soft, gentle voice of yours, clearly mirroring the tone of the video, heā€™d find himself yawning. heā€™d find that his mind would clear of any thoughts and suddenly, he was losing his focus in the best, most needed way possible. soon enough, he chalked it up to it being the song, but heā€™d never understand why.
days later, heā€™d ask for you to ā€˜play that songā€™. you were confused the first time, wondering whatever he meant, but when he loaded up the short track on your phone and he fell asleep immediately, you quickly caught on. and just as quick as you caught on, it turned into a weapon even quicker.
you get into a silly little argument about some small thing you both know is stupid? in the middle of him talking, youā€™re playing the video and heā€™s quick to shut up.
ā€œlove, thatā€™s not fair. thatā€™s my kryptonite, you know thaā€”ā€ his sentences would always be cut off by a yawn (the man probably ended up pavlov-ing himself because heā€™d use it to fall asleep so often) and youā€™d just stand there with a cocky smirk, trying your hardest not to laugh, whilst he glared at you.
you need him to do something and he decides to be an asshole and say no? ā€˜thereā€™s an axolotl on thā€”ā€˜
ā€œfine, fine, iā€™ll do it,ā€ heā€™d grumble, hatingā€”but secretly lovingā€”that youā€™ve caught on to his weak point so quickly.
on nights where you feel like heā€™s stressed, tense, or just needs something, even when he thinks heā€™s fine, youā€™ll tuck his head under your chin and play with his hair, gently humming the tune of the song. some might consider that cringe, but youā€™d do it a million times for him if it means heā€™ll be softly snoring, his shoulders immediately un-tensing before you have a chance to start the song again.
ā€˜weā€™ll see you, tomorrow.ā€™
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technocyte-09 Ā· 5 days ago
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anyways back to writing jail with me
im tired as fuck and have a tabletop session today, so idk if chapter 2 of this fic will be done today. but i AM starting since i got the artwork that's supposed to be in the chapter done
might be a bit just because this is particularly out of my comfort zone so i want to write this well
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rapidhighway Ā· 4 months ago
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venting like an idiot
the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired
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xiii-e Ā· 3 months ago
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//ooc posting: I NEED to find more fun/silly things to do with my two they are Not meant to be all agony all the time I swear- I just have a penchant for the dramatic and they're a little in the torment nexus o(-< but on god they will Have Fun too
#//ooc#even in the torment nexus there's spots of brightness!! I need to start playing with them too I'm not a grimdark writer I swear!!#I have ideas for softer bits and pieces. sibling stuff. cute things. I will get to it somehow hell or high water o7#T-E purrs!! they can do that!! it's part of their genetic alterations and I want to play with that too as well as the horrors!!#now don't get me wrong either The Horrors are one of my fav things to write but it's chiaroscuro y'know you need the contrast#it can't be a fight for personal autonomy all the time sometimes it needs to be T-E's huge kitty eyes or Helios being a dork#all this might be unnecessary I just get a little self conscious sometimes about how full-grit my writing can be wehh#holding my creatures in my hands. they are capable of such a beautiful joy. it's actually vital that they are#since I'm rambling anyways: huge part of what I want to do with T-E's pre campaign rp is start pulling them out of their shell#they start the planned game still stuck on their rules but it's talking to people that's gonna put them in a place where like#they know there's something else out there. they want it. they feel so much guilt for wanting it but it's the WANTING that's important!!#helios can't do that on his own because he doesn't know either. neither of them know jack about what exists beyond their narrow purview#making a HA clone to me is in part an examination of how miitary as industry will always result in steadily increasing dehumanisation#it's the commodification of a human body to ever increasing heights. soldiers to products to nothing but parts to be scrapped#military as an endless churn less for the sake of any kind of protection and more for the sake of resources. capital. money#it's part of what makes HA so fascinating to me y'know? the way it takes that concept to a far flung conclusion. how bad can it get#the other part is playing someone realising for the first time it's possible to break from what's expected of them#the wonder. the guilt. the disbelief. all of it carefully hidden. it's a huge part of what's so compelling about writing them to me#three huge cornerstones of T-E are: masking - military - the horror of having to exist in a body.#that last one is my taking the weird sensory relationship I have to Flesh/mind and doing horror with it dw too much about that njbkhjv#okay okay I think I'm done this got a little out of hand I'm just like#there's so MUCH about thirteen/T-E that makes me insane. alas I'm tired and it takes me like 4 hours to write a simple post sobs#anywaysss that's my ramble. I like them#helios too I like him. guy absolutely dead set on finding reasons to smile amidst the Horror
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forabeatofadrum Ā· 1 year ago
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Happy Sunday and thanks @artsyunderstudy , @nightimedreamersworld and @you-remind-me-of-the-babe for the tag.
As the banner suggests, I have no writing done myself but I have read other people's writing. Not a lot though. God, I have so much fic to catch up on. But I have read 2 fics this month.
(I originally planned to do a Fic Rec Friday, but my Friday got super busy and hey, I didn't have anything to show and I also had this banner from last year so it all works out.)
People who follow @klainepolls might've followed along to @kurtsascot's unexpected, a Choose Your Own Adventure-esque kind of fic. Every day, Genevieve would look at the result of the poll to see where the story would go and I voted in almost every one of them and it was honestly a lot of fun, and I applaud Genevieve for coming up with a chapter on such a short notice without being able to plan ahead.
I also read One December Night by @artsyunderstudy and my initial reaction (and AO3 comment) is "Ashton holy fuck" cause Ashton, holy fuck, you've done it again. I am a sucker for reunion/second chances fics, although Simon and Baz never got together beforehand. They meet again, ten years after Simon took down the Mage. I always love how emotional Ashton's fics are.
So yeah, fics!
And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @that-disabled-princess @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @cutestkilla ā€‹ @wellbelesbian ā€‹ā€‹ @martsonmars ā€‹ @facewithoutheart ā€‹ @shrekgogurt @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @blackberrysummer @whatevertheweather @theotherhufflepuff @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @kurtsascot @esilher
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seventh-district Ā· 10 days ago
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it's always something. PLEASE can i just go One single day without there being Something
#vent post#cw injury mention#cw shooting mention#don't know why i keep getting involved in these political debates with an old ignorant drunkard. i'd be better off talking to a brick wall#i say 'talking' as if he ever lets me get a word in edgewise. he just wants a Nice Quiet Woman to complain to. not a real conversation.#can't believe i spent 2hrs last night trying to explain basic facts about the universe and evolution when he probably remembered none of it#not to quote Dr. Ratio in a vent post but. the most annoying thing about idiocy Truly is that you can't explain it to an idiot#'i am a STRAIGHT MAN šŸ˜”šŸ˜”šŸ˜” how do you expect me to give you a QUEER answer???' bro all i did was ask why u don't like gay ppl.. chill...#'well in BibLIcaL tiMeS-' man u just ranted abt how ur atheist & don't believe in the bible. u can't turn around and use it in an argument#so we somehow went from fictional stories to The Gays to religion to outer space to the birth of the universe to evolution to currency#and when he started in on China & covid i simply had to walk away. i can't listen to any more of his regurgitated propaganda conspiracies#oh and how can i forget the tangent he went off on about his beloved guns after the Antioch shooting yesterday! that took 30mins at least#i did read the kid's manifesto and lowkey wish i hadn't because Jesus Fucking Christ i'm so worried about the state of children online#i really do love the internet and the countless good things it has brought into the world and into my own life#but i didn't have access to it until i was.. 11 i think? and the internet was a Very different place in 2011 than it is in the 2020s#worst i did was watch clickbait YT videos about mermaids being real. now 9 year-olds are getting radicalized on Twitch???#idk i'm so 'old' and out of the loop now. i barely recognized like half of those words he used. but god i'm worried sick for the kids.#anyways. all last night's 'debate' accomplished was me getting told that my fiction writing doesn't do anything good for the world#and got reminded that being gay is a mental illness. :) and that he doesn't trust in science. or anything logical for that matter#he's just gonna keep saying the same bullshit he was raised to believe without a single critical thought as to whether it was correct#i'm done trying to find common ground with someone like that. waste of my precious time. i could be playing a video game lmao#anyways later that evening i accidentally sustained some burns to my left hand. and i am totally fine. but i was too tired to clean & wrap-#-it up before i fell asleep. so i woke up hours later panicked from a nightmare with my hand fucking throbbing and my mom standing over me#in her own little panic because she didn't check her fucking pants pockets and accidentally washed her flip phone and it was. well. soaked.#so i got to spend all morning taking it apart in hopes of salvaging it so i don't have to hassle with moving her number to a new one!!!#then poured hydrogen peroxide all over my burned hand Knowing it wasn't the best idea but i. did it anyways bc my hubris cannot be stopped#and holy shit that didn't feel good! had to keep reminding myself to breathe or i was gonna pass out lmao that shit made my joints hurt#how does a skin wound ache all the way down to the bone. anyways. it's wrapped now and i'm Alllll better :) no mental illness in This body#anyways thanks to that i got out of making dinner and doing the dishes! and i got a burger and fries and am dipping them in ice cream#the fries not the burger im not that unhinged. anyways now im gonna boot up Genshin and try to turn my tired little brain off for the night
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neallo Ā· 2 months ago
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cultiver price the forest green bedsheet set at a much more aggressive discount and my life is yours..........
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the-brainrot-central Ā· 4 months ago
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Writing over 30,000 words worth of content for a fic only to realize itā€™s all pointless because you have no interest in it anymore and you were never gonna finish it anywayā€¦.
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What even is The Point anymore
#current mood#itā€™s so joever#this isnā€™t even the worst part honestly#what really sucks is that this project was the last thing in my life I had any sustainable interest in and now thatā€™s gone too.#now I have nothing. like#the fuck am I supposed to do??? get a new interest??? thatā€™s fucking impossible#nothing hits like it used to and everything is justā€¦.blandā€¦.and SO MUCH EFFORT to get into#like hobbies are so difficult? and my old hobbies (ex writing) are becoming more and more toxic and like a chore rather than something fun#like writing at this point has become a battle of perfectionism and Iā€™m fucking losing#what am I supposed to do. nothing inspires me. I have no interests. no hobbies. not many friends irl#and itā€™s not like we ever hang out because people are a fucking piece of work#either they cling to you like dog shit or they never respond to your texts no in between#im just so tired of existing??? and also college??? is fine but like#what the fuck am I DOING here like#why am I getting an art degree??? is this really how I should be spending my time and my parents money?#what the fuck am I gonna do for a job??? what do I WANT from a job???? I donā€™t even fucking know#i canā€™t see myself being happy in life doing anything and thatā€™s such a nonstarter#it makes it impossible to start planning anything because I feel paralyzed with fear#and like I saidā€¦.i donā€™t have any interests. I donā€™t LIKE anything. I am the antithesis of curiosity and interest like. thereā€™s just nothing#i canā€™t do this anymore#im so done#idk why I made this so long but#I guess I have a lot on my mind I wanted to share#sorry for cringe posting on main it will happen again#im sorry in general actually for everything im sorry for being needy and attention seeking and annoying and flaky and never finishing any of#my fics because I lose interest and for not responding to anyone in my inbox Iā€™m sorry#personal#cringe#cringetober#long tags
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seiwas Ā· 1 year ago
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when all the ideas come to you faster than you can type but you have to get it down so the doc now looks like chunks of red paragraphs barely cohesive and without punctuation but the Thoughts are there and thatā€™s what matters šŸ„²
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lesenbyan Ā· 10 months ago
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you know, I keep thinking about how much I'd get written if I had any self discipline at all and then like. doing nothing about it bc like. who's gonna enforce it? not me.
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galaxythreads Ā· 2 years ago
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i am so burnt out from editing my original story. I literally stared at the document for over 2 hours today unable to do anything but try not to cry and watch the curser blink. I don't want to work on it. I really, really don't. I want to write but I don't want to write and i feel like i have to write but I can't write and I've never written anything good in my life ever because everything is riddled with errors and mistakes and I can't even spell definitely and i don't know why i post anything because my plots don't hold up under basic scrutiny and i haven't posted any fics in months and i had so many things I was excited to work on and I just don't and I wish that I was motivated to do anything and i'm not and it's just
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asummersday Ā· 2 years ago
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when will my writing motivation return from the war šŸ˜­
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m-a-d-e-l-e-i-n-e Ā· 2 years ago
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Is it normal to be so obsessed with the idea of being a good or I guess even unproblematic person, to the point where youā€™re nit-picking every single little thing you say or do and feel like shit about yourself for not always fitting your own idea of being a ā€œperfectā€ person? ā€¦what do you mean ā€œnoā€?
#like there has to be a term for this šŸ˜­#I feel like Iā€™ve become so self-aware that Iā€™m ruining my own life with it#itā€™s for the dumbest shit too. oh I didnā€™t make eye contact with someone I passed by on the sidewalk??#well clearly Iā€™m a rude absolute bitch and they hate me now and I have no manners#I donā€™t think this makes sense#Iā€™ll think in terms of what I wrote in my post about other people too not just myself#like sometimes Iā€™ll start to think someoneā€™s not a good person over like one thing theyā€™ve said or done#and applied it to other scenarios like ā€˜oh well if they were willing to say/do this then they would do xyz tooā€™#ā€¦or like ā€˜if theyā€™re willing to say/do this then theyā€™re probably even meaner in their head or with people other than meā€™ you know#Iā€™ve done and said things Iā€™m not proud of so many times just like EVERYONE ELSE#but for some reason my brain will just not let it go and I always think Iā€™m a terrible person and a disappointment#but then on the other hand Iā€™ll think oh well I canā€™t be that bad if Iā€™m always calculating how I react to things#and am actually bothering to think critically about it#I feel like thereā€™s so little goodness in the world and I try to be a nice person but I feel like a fake and that Iā€™m not really one#canā€™t even stand up for myself or make a joke without constantly chewing myself out#gets tiring but Iā€™ve thought like this for a while now#well thatā€™s my writing goal for the week done#personal#txt
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