#and by that i mean i know more country than they know hip hop or r&b etc

[deathtodickens]

No B&W tonight because it was my friend’s birthday and we went to a rodeo.

[whytheylosttheirminds]

Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 8 (part one)

(Rafe Cameron x Reader series, 4.1k words)

series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.

tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder

series content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues

⇢ series masterlist

additional chapter cw! suggestive moments, mature readers only

Carter could hear his car approaching before it even came into view.

She had been grounded for two weeks, caught out with Topper on his granddad’s boat past curfew, and she had never been more bored in her life. Slumped back on the couch, she dipped her hand in the bag to grab another chip, pausing mid-bite when she heard the familiar hum of Rafe’s truck engine growl down the street.

“Oh fuck no,” she hopped off the couch, a trail of crumbs in her wake as she jogged to the front door. 

Though she knew you were away for the afternoon, your mom taking you to tour a local college on the mainland, she instinctively double checked that your car was still gone. She was thankful you weren’t here to see him in his oversized ego-mobile zipping down your street like he owned it.

You’d been devastated all week, crying yourself to sleep in the wake of seeing Rafe kiss Cassie Bryant. Nothing made Carter angrier than knowing you were hurt and not being able to do anything about it. 

She couldn’t believe his nerve to show up here. He’d been texting to you all week, clearly not taking your lack of response for the answer that it was. You were finally finding the strength to stay away from him, and she was not about to let that unravel.

She stood on the front porch, closing the door firmly behind her, arms crossed and stance wide like she was prepared to defend her castle. Really, she was prepared to defend you.

Rafe parallel parked on the street, some misogynistic country song blaring from his subwoofers. Carter rolled her eyes at the way his massive truck took up enough space for two cars, always claiming what wasn’t his, taking and taking and giving nothing in return.

Closing the driver’s door with a bang, Rafe hopped down from his truck and strolled toward the house, stopping short in the front walk when he noticed Carter glaring out at him.

“You have some fucking nerve, Cameron,” she spat at him.

“I’m not here for you,” he glared back.

“Well no one else in this house wants to talk to your ass right now so you can go ahead and turn right back around.”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I just wanna know why she wasn’t at my game today.”

“Uh-oh,” she tilted her head in mock-sympathy, “did ya lose?”

He clenched his jaw, an angry huff of air flaring his nostrils, “yeah, we lost.”

“Good.”

“Can you just let me in?” He started moving toward the front steps, but she didn’t move from her spot blocking the door. “I need to talk to her and she’s not answering my texts.”

“Do you think that’s an accident?” She scoffed. “Take a hint.”

“Okay, what’s your fucking problem, Carter?” He snapped the sentence off with a bite of her name.

“You’re my problem, Rafe,” she bit right back.

“What the fuck did I do? Why isn’t your sister answering my calls?”

“I dunno, maybe you should ask Cassie Bryant,” her hands uncrossed and rested on her hips.

Rafe stepped back, head dropping back in exasperation as he rolled his eyes at the sky.

“That’s what this is about? Cassie and I are just hooking up, what’s the big deal?”

“You mean besides the fact that Cassie’s made my sister’s life hell since they were in the same Kindergarten class?” She threw at him. “Or that you’ve been dragging my sister along since she was six years old just to ditch her for some wannabe Addison Rae tiktok flop?”

“God, you’re always so fucking dramatic, it isn’t even like that,” he gestured toward the window of your bedroom, still assuming you were up there somewhere avoiding him, “your sister knows we’re cool.”

“You’re not cool, Rafe. You’re an idiot,” she told him with a pitying shake of her head. 

Rafe turned her words over in his head, finally stopping long enough to consider the possibility that he’d done more damage than he initially thought.

“Is she really mad at me?” He mumbled, tucking his hands into his pockets.

Carter sighed, “No. She’s not mad at you. She’s never mad at you, that’s the problem. You don’t make her mad, you make her sad. All you ever do is make her sad.”

Shoulders falling, Rafe looked past Carter with a vacant stare. He looked so confused and distraught she almost felt bad for him. Almost. 

“I didn’t mean to make her sad,” he mumbled, almost at a whisper.

Carter scanned him with narrowed eyes, trying to decide if his penance was sincere. He looked down at his shoes, digging the tip of one into the stony walkway.

“How do I fix it?”

Carter started to think maybe he was sincere after all, but she still wasn’t sure he was in any place to be asking for advice.

“I don’t know if you can,” she told him.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” he said hopefully, trying to console himself. “She’ll come around.”

He looked at Carter like he was actually expecting her to agree.

“And then what, Rafe?” She tilted her head, genuinely curious about the answer. “What’s the end game here? You’ll just make her sad for a few more months and then go off to school and…what?”

“I dunno,” he shrugged defensively. “I haven’t thought about it.”

“Exactly. You don’t think things through. That’s always been your problem,” she informed him, “you just do what you want and pay no attention to how it affects other people. If you really cared about her, you wouldn’t keep putting her through the same shit over and over.”

“I do care about her,” he mumbled, her words beginning to penetrate his carefully constructed antagonistic armor.

“I wish I could believe that,” she shook her head sadly, “I wish she could believe that. At least when she did, she wasn’t crying herself to sleep every night.”

Sour regret burned in his throat at the thought of your tears dripping onto your pillowcase, some unfamiliar heartache he didn’t understand. 

“Maybe you could convince her that I do,” he offered, “she listens to you.”

“Why would I do that?” Carter snapped.

“Because then she wouldn’t be so sad,” his voice was so feeble it was like he was shrinking right before her eyes, his tall, intimidating frame so small and inadequate under the towering shadow of his guilt.

“Tell you what Rafe,” she began, “I’ll try and convince her that you care about her if you can look me in the eyes and tell me with your whole chest that you won’t hurt her anymore, that you won’t use her to your advantage, or drop off the face of the earth for weeks not answering her texts, or kiss other girls right in front of her face. That you’ll fight for her and put her before your own selfish bullshit. Can you make that promise?”

He wrung his hands, mindlessly adjusting the ring on his right forefinger, jaw clenched as he tried to will forth a convincing enough yes. He couldn’t do it.

“That’s what I thought,” Carter said. “If you can’t fight for her, then…”

“What?” He asked desperately, hoping she’d offer him some olive branch shaped way out of the  shame engulfing his chest.

“Then I am asking you- begging you really - to let her go. Stop texting, stop coming by the house, stop making promises you’re not gonna keep. Please. If not for me, then for her.”

“Do you think that’s what she wants?” He asked.

“No. But I think it’s what she needs,” she said, knowing it would kill you if you knew she was doing this, but believing with her whole heart that it was right.

Rafe rarely thought about the future. The farthest his mind went was the next few minutes in front of him. It was his fatal flaw, acting for the moment and not for the moment after, or the version of himself that would face the consequences of his poor choices. Yet, in this moment, he had the keen sense that his next move would be a pivotal one, the gravity of it making his feet feel heavy on the stone pathway. He could stay, he could argue, scream your name until you came out and talked to him. But then what? Would he have the courage to follow through? Was he enough of a man to handle the weight of your expectation?

Ultimately, he knew the right thing was to stay and fight, but the easy thing would be to just go.

So, as he almost always did, Rafe made the easy choice.

“Okay,” he nodded to Carter. “I’ll let her go.”

“Thank you,” she said, voice shaking with the fear that if you knew what she just convinced him to do, you’d never forgive her. 

“I’m not doing it for you,” he made sure she knew before turning and climbing back into his truck.

Once in the driver’s seat, he pulled out his phone, looking at your name in his contacts. Like his fingers were moving without his mind’s permission, he deleted you. It didn’t matter really, he thought, he’d remember your number on his deathbed. He’d remember it all, and he’d hate himself forever for driving away.

Carter stayed on the porch, watching him go, praying desperately that you’d never find out she was the reason he left.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄

“We’re gonna have to go back eventually,” you said.

Rafe sat behind you in the sand, holding you with his chin resting easy on your shoulder as you took in the sprawling pink sunrise together. 

“Says who?” He countered.

You smiled, craning your neck to look up at him. His eyelids were heavy, purple under the eyes from the exhaustion of being awake all night.

“You’re falling asleep,” you noticed.

“Yeah because some girl kept me up all night, begging me to take her to the beach and kiss her,” he joked.

“Excuse me, sir, this was your idea!” You sat up and stretched, your words making him laugh despite his immediate discomfort at the loss of your body in his arms. “What time is it anyway?”

“I dunno,” he shrugged, “my phone’s in the car.”

“Mine too,” you chuckled, “I hope Carter’s okay. She was looking rough before we left.”

He had half a mind to propose the two of you never leave the beach, but he could hear the genuine concern under your lighthearted words. He stood from the sand and dusted himself off, reaching out a hand to pull you to your feet. You took it with a smile, lingering for a moment as you stood, your hand in his, taking one last look around the beach, searching for some kind of landmark.

“What are you looking for?” He asked.

“I just want to remember exactly where we were,” you explained.

“Why, you wanna recreate it?” He smiled softly at you.

“Oh, I plan to recreate it many times,” you wink at him.

It took all his strength to leave that spot and head back to the car, back to the house full of people who weren’t you, back to reality.

“I can drive,” he suggested, planning to take the slowest route possible, and actually follow the speed limit for the first time in his life.

As soon as he started the car up, your CD started blasting through the speakers. You laughed at each other, the catalyst of this whole encounter feeling like it was days ago. The time on the car radio told you it’d only been about two hours. You lifted your phone but the screen remained black.

“Shit, it’s dead,” you told him, opening the glovebox and digging around for a charger.

While you were distracted, Rafe lifted his own phone from the cupholder he’d left it in. His screen did light up, displaying a slew of frantic texts from Topper and Kelce. He winced, wishing he hadn’t looked. He didn’t read the texts, not wanting whatever nonsense they were bothering him with to pop the blissful bubble wrapped around the two of you. He knew he shouldn’t start off your new…whatever this was…by lying to you, but he needed to stay in this happy place just a little longer.

“Mine’s dead too,” he lied, flipping the phone over in the cup holder to hide the screen.

“Of course Carter doesn’t have a charger,” you sighed, “she has like twenty hair ties and lipglosses, but no charger. Classic.”

“I know my way back,” he shrugged, “we’ll be good.”

Rafe put the car in reverse, backing out of the little side road with his arm on the seat next to your head. You watched the way he turned in his seat to look out the back window, neck muscles flexing with the stretch and his big hand manipulating the steering wheel with ease. 

For the first time in the sixteen years you’d known him, you didn’t try to hide your gaze as you took him in. The same attraction that used to make you feel skittish and ashamed now settled over you peacefully, like an icy winter finally melting into a warm, bright spring. You looked at him all you wanted, noting every detail, taking mental photographs of every inch of his skin.

You’d always thought he was cute - actually, no, you always thought he was hot as fuck - but now for the first time, you allowed yourself to look long enough to notice how beautiful he was. Pins and needles burst out all over your body as you realized how badly you needed to kiss him again.

Rafe could feel your eyes on him as he drove, choosing not to say anything and risk you looking away. He felt at home in your gaze, happier than he could ever remember being.

Inhibitions left back on the beach, you fearlessly reached out toward him, hand grazing gently over his jaw. You loved the ticklish little stubble that had grown there in just a few days without shaving. You smiled as you thought about the boy who could barely grow peach fuzz, now a man, strong and solid under your fingertips. Something warm and electric buzzed in your stomach, and you knew Rafe could feel it too, his skin heating under your tender touch.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the road but leaning slightly into your hand to encourage you to keep touching him.

“Nothing,” you smiled, “I’ve just never gotten to look at you this long.”

“Is it making you change your mind?” He smirked, clearly not worried about the answer, his confidence making him impossibly sexier.

“Just the opposite,” you confirmed, “I think you’re always gonna have to drive from now on.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well now that I’ve gotten a good look I don’t think I could keep my eyes on the road. I always had the hardest time not looking over at you.”

Rafe grinned wide as your hand slipped from his jaw to the back of his head, fingers lacing in his soft hair, scratching his scalp lovingly. There was no rhyme or reason to your movements, but you didn’t care, you just needed your hands on him. He didn’t seem to mind, head leaning back into your palm to let you know he needed you as much as you needed him.

“I know you did,” he said.

“How?” You asked.

“Because I could never keep myself from looking over at you,” he confessed.

A kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttered their way through your chest. Now you were certain- you’d never been more attracted to anyone as you were to him in this moment.

Rafe took your silent smile as a good sign, “did I get another A with that line?”

Your hand slid slowly down to his shoulder, over the ridges and ripples of his arms, flexing under your soft touch, until you found his hand, pulling it into your own. 

“Gold stars, baby,” you smiled.

Rafe’s grip tightened on the steering wheel, the air in the car becoming thicker by the second as he shifted in his seat. You beamed at him, realizing with a flurry of excitement - you had Rafe Cameron flustered.

“You like when I call you baby?” You purred, eager to see how far you could push it.

His grip tightened around your hand, “you can’t say shit like that to me when I’m driving.”

You could feel the dam breaking. You needed him. Now.

“Then pull over.”

He finally took his eyes off the road for a second at that, looking over at you for confirmation; are you serious? You gave him a steely, lustful look in return; as a heart attack.

Rafe practically popped a tire turning the wheel hard and pulling the car down a side street, driving until he found a little secluded enclave by the beach, a perfectly private spot. He threw the car in park, making you laugh at the jolt it gave with his urgency. He didn’t waste a second, reaching both hands over to grab your face and pull your lips to his.

You sighed into his mouth, no hesitancy holding you back from slipping your tongue between his lips. He pulled away just long enough to grit out a raspy, “come here,” before throwing his seatbelt off.

You unbuckled your own, holding tight to his shoulders as you swung your leg over the console and climbed, somewhat awkwardly, into his lap. Your head fell back in laughter as your butt accidentally pressed the horn, the sound blasting through the quiet morning air. Rafe laughed too, easing your slight embarrassment as he reached down to slide the seat back.

Once you had more room, you pulled back to get a better look at him. He looked up at you with wide blue eyes, so gentle and kind in the way they took you in. Rafe reached up and brushed your hair over your shoulder, taking a deep breath as his hands grazed your shoulder.

“Hey,” he whispered to fill the silence.

You cracked the slightest smile, unable to repress your amusement.

“What?” He puzzled.

“I just didn’t imagine you to be so…sweet like this,” you explained, though you hated how the words sounded coming out of your mouth, afraid it would sound like a criticism and cause him to withdraw.

“Only for you,” he said.

“Uh oh,” you teased, hands laying flat over his chest as you leaned forward, relieved you hadn’t ruined the moment after all, “is big bad Rafe Cameron going weak for me?”

“He always has been,” he nodded, his dimples creasing his cheeks with his sheepish smile.

You slid your hands up to either side of his face, thumbs dipping into his dimples. You’d always wanted to do that. You couldn’t believe that after all that waiting and longing, you really could just lean forward and kiss him if you wanted to. 

So you did, like you were trying to prove to yourself that this was actually real. The second your lips met his, you could tell he was thinking the same exact thing.

Rafe’s hands gripped your hips as he sat up off the seat just slightly to meet your mouth fervently. You bent over him, your hair falling in a curtain around his face. His hands felt so good, so right, warm and strong against you. You smiled into the kiss as you could feel them sliding so slowly, reverently, over your curves, until they found a home on your lower back, bringing you forward to rest fully against him. It was the same gentle control he had taken on the jetski, and it was addictive.

He was hard, you could feel him firm beneath you, and your head flooded with lustful thoughts. You rolled your body just slightly against him, but he felt every second of it, his hands sliding lower until he was kneading the flesh of your ass. Breathless, you paused, forehead against, another roll of your body as you pressed into him.

“Do you want me to stop?” He breathed, chest rising and falling with heavy pants.

“No, don’t, I’ve wanted this for so long,” it came out more desperate than you planned, but you didn’t care, you needed him to know.

“Me too, kid, you have no idea,” he smiled.

Your nose scrunched, pulling back to look at him with narrow eyes, “kid? Really?”

“Well you don’t like when I call you baby, so…”

“That is not what I said,” you laughed, “I said don’t say things you don’t mean. You can call me whatever you want, as long as you mean it”

“In that case…” he leaned in again, hands on either side of your face as his lips met yours before pulling away to meet your eyes as he said, “hey baby.”

You melted into him, his hands cradling your head the only thing keeping you grounded to the planet. He littered your face and jaw with slow, deliberate kisses, working his way toward your neck as he whispered more sweet pet names into your skin.

“Beautiful,” with a kiss to your jaw, “angel,” with a kiss to your neck, just below your ear, “my girl,” with a kiss to your collarbone, lingering to suck on the skin right at the base of your neck, marking you lightly.

Your whole body pulled him in tighter, dizzy with the ecstasy of having him like this. Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging just hard enough to tell him how good he was making you feel. You couldn’t resist but push down into his hardness, muscles tense as his lips tickled the sensitive skin around the collar of your shirt.

“Rafe…” you sighed out as he continued to suck lip shaped marks into you, his hands kneading your ass, arms strong around you like he alone was the one keeping you tethered to the earth.

He pulled away from you just far enough to look you in the eyes, his pupils blown out. There was a kind of darkness in his eyes, sending excitement, and maybe even a touch of fear, shooting through your body. You wondered what would happen if he dropped the gentleness and really seized control, longing to be the one to send him to that place.

“Are you?” He whispered. Hunger, lust, and some more vulnerable third thing laced the deep tenor of his voice as his eyes searched yours, “are you my girl?”

His brows were furrowed so tight with intensity, you worried he was gonna give himself a headache. 

You ran your thumb over the scrunched skin on his forehead, smoothing it out, gentle but firm. You continued to run your fingers over his face, both to put him at ease and to buy yourself time, the answer to his question stuck somewhere in your chest, unwilling or unable to make its way to your tongue.

“I…” you started, the worry growing back on his face at the sound of your hesitation.

Before you could finish the thought, a loud DING! rang out through the quiet car, making you both jump.

“I thought you said your phone was dead?” You questioned, more edge to your tone than you’d meant, frustration over the interruption seeping into your words.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “I just wanted more time with you.”

“It’s okay,” you said, a bit non-committal in your forgiveness. “Who is it?”

Rafe sighed as he retrieved his phone from the cupholder, reading the most recent message.

“It’s Top,” he answered, “he’s saying we should get back to the house but won’t say why. So dramatic.”

You chuckled softly, relief washing through Rafe at the return of your smile.

“We should probably go then,” you said, “if for no other reason than I’m nosy and want to know what’s going on.”

He nodded slowly, hands reluctantly letting you go “we’ll come back to this, though, right?”

You knew he meant more than just the kiss and your intimate position in Carter’s front seat. He meant this; the big ‘What Are We?’

Never in a million years would you have guessed that he’d be the one posing the question, or that you’d have this hard of a time coming up with the answer.

(Chapter 8: part two)

a/n: entering my 'posting what's ready when it's ready and not caring about word count' era, welcome!!

please note, i've closed the taglist for this story. to be first to know when i post please follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifications 💘

[goquokka00]

The Little Things (Jisung Ver.)

The small things he does every day that make you feel oh, so special.

Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

| Compares Hands |

Jisung is one of those people where I just get the vibe where he'd be one to regularly compare his hands to yours. Why? I don't know. But I just get the feeling that whenever the two of you are cuddling, Jisung's got your hand in his, and he's just...comparing them.

Your hands are so different compared to his. They're smaller, so much more feminine. They're so soft, probably because you use that one lotion you hidden from him every day on them. They're nothing like his, which we've seen pictures of them and dear GOD, his hands are absolutely fine. They're veiny and long, they're probably rough, but are just so gentle.

A lot of times, Jisung will take your hand and place it against his to directly compare them. And he'll comment on it, too. "Your hands are so cute, baby," or, "Our hands look so perfect together." They're never bad comments, he just likes to tell you how he feels.

| Shares Earbuds |

This is probably a given. Jisung loves music, and we all know this. And that means he's open to hearing a whole variety of music, mainly to help inspire him for songs for Stray Kids. Where else is better to get that than from the person he loves the most?

If you guys are ever out in public or walking around, Jisung will almost ask for an earbud so he can listen to whatever you're listening to. It doesn't matter what you're music tastes are, either. Kpop, rock and roll, pop, country, hip hop, rap, indie, latin, jazz, he'll listen to it all. And if he recognizes the song, he'll happily sing the lyrics.

There are other times where Jisung will want to share his earbud with you, too. I feel like he wouldn't play any spoilers for upcoming albums (Bangchan would murder him alive), but he'd play music that he listens to regularly, wanting to expand your own horizons. As a bonus, I also think that the two of you would make one big playlist of both of your favorites, and you'd listen to that together a lot.

| Holds Your Arm |

Jisung really likes to be close to you at all times. And that means that whenever you two are shopping, or going to different places outside of JYPE or your work area, or even the apartment, there are times where his arms are wrapped around whichever arm of yours is closest to him. Sometimes your arms are linked, but other times, he's clinging to your arm.

I do have a strong feeling that he'd mostly do this if his anxiety was acting up. If he was starting to spiral because of crowds, or his thoughts were overwhelming him because of work, he'd cling to you to try and ground himself. And of course, you'd be there to comfort him.

He'd probably apologize for it. He'd feel bad because you'd have to put up with him like that. But you really don't care. You'd gently rub his hand, keeping it there while guiding him to a less populated area so you two could chill and just breathe. And while he'd feel guilty, Jisung would be so grateful for it.

| Back Hugs in the Morning |

I've said this once in my first ever post, and I'll happily say it again. I am a firm believer of Jisung not being a morning person at all. The late nights down at the studio, writing songs for hours until the early hours of the morning just drain him, and getting up is quite literally a chore in Jisung's mind.

And so, while you're probably making breakfast, I think that Jisung would be the kind of person to come up behind you and pull you back against his chest, the man still half-asleep as he rests his head on your shoulder. He refuses to talk, as it takes too much energy. And so all you get are grunts, hums, and any other noises he decides to make.

Jisung will just cling to you for as long as he needs. If you need to walk to a different area of the kitchen while you're cooking, Jisung will just follow you, not giving you any space whatsoever. Even when he's finally awake and alert, he's not letting you go. At least, not until he gets his good morning kiss.

| Spoils You |

Guys, I kid you not, Jisung will buy you anything and everything you want. You want food from that one restaurant you went to a few weeks ago? Done. You spotted a sweater that you really like? It's yours. You need something for a hobby of yours? Say no more. As long as you're happy, Jisung's happy.

It doesn't even matter how expensive it is. Nothing is too expensive if it's for you. You can complain all you want, too. You don't want him to spend all of his money on you? Too bad. You're happy with just being his? Yeah, but Jisung wants to make you even happier.

I also have this irk that Jisung would buy you souvenirs from wherever he travels to. If it reminds him of you, he'll buy it for you and then give it to you once he gets back to South Korea. And I'm not kidding you, this man would be like so giddy as he watches you react to each and every single gift. He just loves to spoil you beyond belief, and he will NEVER stop.

Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️

[tsatsked]

Lore details I've noticed: Farewell Rayashki event

As always that's mostly Russian/USSR/Slavic stuff and some translations, feel free to add anything. I've also made a post about Silver Knot lore details

Obviosly, spoiler warning

Alenka - a USSR chocolate type produced since 1965, they are quite soft and sweet and still popular among kids and adults

The playground is quite typical for the time period. The drawings and sunflowers might be Vila’s and kids’ work. It’s not very clear if the graffiti is made by someone inspired by hip-hop culture or is August’s failed attempt at scribbling out his name, judging by “А” and “Г” as 1st and 3rd letters. The only thing I’d add here is more scraped parts recycled into playground constructions

Ijirak, Kikituk, Qiqirn - creatures from Inuit folklore (as far as I know they are not known in native Siberian folklore). I haven’t found information about Hoituk

The Russian word for “most” means “best” in the phrase “the most “most”” (“самый-самый”)

“It was only by luck that we found the runium. For over 60 years, people here have worked together to make it what it is now” - Vila. If the events happen in 60s-80s (judging by the overall vibe), than the last time reverse was at 1977 and Rayashki started to grow from a village to a town at 1917 or later. It means the town exported runium for all the Soviet years.

⬆️ EDIT: Silver Knot (Windsong's story) confirms it actually happens in 80s-90s

Most of the sighs say “For Better Future”, “Welcome to Rayashki” and “Welcome Zeno’s Military Institute”

The room in which Windsong stays is Soviet af. There are an old TV with a lens, cool bookshelf and tiles that surprised me. They’re common for public and liminal spaces but not so much for the living ones. Maybe they’re chosen because they endure harsh Artic climate better that wood or linoleum

EDIT: the TV looks like KVN-49 model, produced in 1949—1962

“It must be Kikituk! But their closest habitat should be Kong Kalrs Land, hundreds of kilometres away”. Kong Karls Land - a group of island of Svalbard archipelago, Norway. As @vingler-mirror point out in their post, Rayashki is likely based on Pyramiden town owned by USSR on the same archipelago

Природа это числа и черты - “Nature is numbers and lines” Природа это мозаика цветов - “Nature is a mosaic of colours”

“Mutant Kikituk from Olga area! You should be at the Olga Strait, hunting for migrating salmon and whales, not here!” - excuse me OLGA STRAIT!? THE ONE NEAR JAPAN!?

Poneva/ponyova - an element of Russian (Eastern Slavic?) female clothing worn on top of the main skirt of the dress. I believe there was either a mistranslation in Needles and Loaves message where Raisa said “poneva dress”, either she meant the whole outfit

Samodiva - Their name is feminine and can be roughly translated as “self-wonder”, but that’s another word for vila the creature from Western and Southern Slavic mythology similar to Eastern Slavic rusalka/mavka

Other stuff I’ve noticed:

The town seems to have a big arcanist population, if not most of them are arcanists. An arcanist right is applicable to them and all Vila’s known students are arcanists (if the kids are arcanists, their parents and grandparents are arcanists too)

The people of Rayashki seem to come from different places, and it makes sense with Pyramiden's history (EDIT: the workers were mostly from a western region of Ukraine). Pasono’s first name seems to be obscure and I’ve found only a surname mostly known in America. Patrik’s name is more popular name in other countries, and it make me to believe his ancestors might be foreigners. Bogina’s name comes from Southern Slavic languages

Rayashki is very communistic compared to the rest of USSR. Maybe it’s the town’s history, citizens’ temperament, small town’s size, seclusion and big self sufficiency combined. EDIT: the town's athmosphere conctasts with the period of USSR where people start feel more positive about the world around and capitalism with it

[thedreadvampy]

I do not understand subcultural politics discourse and at this point I don't know how much is differences in the national scenes and how much is that we just have very different ideas of what these scenes are.

cause like. Punk I get. Punk is not always left wing (there has always been a Nazi punk problem) but punk IS always inherently and actively political as a definitional factor. Punk is foundationally anarchist, counter-hierarchical, and centred on anger and community cohesion. If you approach punk as apolitical or centrist you are Doing It Wrong. Nazis and right libertarians have always made up a small but vocal chunk of the community, and that's a problem punk has to address in its own ways (ideally with steel toecaps). Punk is definitionally political and has a couple of extremely foundational sets of political beliefs.

Or like, hip-hop. More complicated case cause there's even more corporate cooption involved in shaping the modern genre but hip-hop has a foundational political position. Hip-hop is focused on Black pride and power, and on addressing African-American trauma and injustice, and so it's historically working-class, anti-racist and anti-cop. It means something politically as a genre.

But some stuff people say just Does Not Jam with my experience of subculture. Like people KEEP saying 'you can't be a right-wing goth, goth is radically left wing' and all I'm saying is a) we have spoken to some VERY different elder goths bc as much as I was lucky enough to grow up in the scene, going to the goth weekends, etc, my god did some of those 60 year olds vote Tory or BNP with their whole chest. and b) as far as I'm aware the main thing that goth stands for politically is countercultural provocation and a kind of nihilistic disengagement. like Siouxie Sioux habitually used swastikas and Nazi paraphernalia to demonstrate distance from her parent's generation. a lot of the foundational Goth musicians are either right-wing or prefer to keep their politics private because they consider them separate.

like most of the goths I know are left-leaning, because there are foundational philosophical beliefs attached to goth culture and a lot of those, like fluidity of expression, resistance to established power, and celebrating marginalisation, appeal to a lot of lefties. But frankly I've known a lot of goths who are reactionary right-wingers or full on Nazis because, well, other precepts of goth culture can include stuff like nihilistic individualism and glorification of death. Plus the Nazi iconography thing, plus the widespread racism in the community. and those weren't like 'i found goth on TikTok' goths, these are like 'committed to the lifestyle since 1979' goths.

Like goth is not particularly a RIGHT-WING movement, but I have never experienced it as an explicitly political musical/subcultural movement at all? Certainly not the way that punk or reggae or outlaw country or something is.

(and speaking of reggae. I was watching Anthony Fantano and FD Signifier talking about this whole idea and FD said something as a 'isn't this a silly example' about a white nationalist looking for white nationalist reggae. and they were both laughing about what a silly idea that was

and I'm sitting there like...But that's literally exactly what happened with ska in the UK? like ska is obviously an afrocaribbean genre made by and for Black communities and uhhhh by the late 60s in Britain ska was the white nationalist sound. like skinheads love ska and in particular there are a bunch of neonazi/white nationalist ska acts. not all skinheads are far right but if skinheads have a dominant political identity it is probably more far right than far left.

and that did raise the question of differences in national scenes. like I know that behind the Iron Curtain a lot of punks were using UK and American flags the way Western punks were using Soviet iconography, and Caribbean music has a very different cultural association in the UK than in the US, and British rap has a different political outlook than American rap.

and so maybe American goth is a lot more political than British goth? but I kind of think of goth as a European subculture tbh like I think goth I think England and Germany, and the European goth music and goth scenes I've been in are......not explicitly political?)

[apollyonsdarksecrets]

Actions and Consequences

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven

Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.

Warning: 18+ Only MDNI SMUT. Language, BDSM, Dom Aaron, emotionally detached reader, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive father figure, age gap (reader 25 Aaron 40) doesn’t line up with a specific time line, use of Y/n because story is set in 3rd person for the first half then switches POV, last name for reader is Smith,

Specific Chapter Warnings: implied sex (between reader and ex-boyfriend) past boyfriend being rough and mean to reader, eating, official set up of dynamic and rules, a little bit of spicy for you guys 💋(hint)

7 Years Ago

“Two more weeks… I can’t believe it.” Y/n sighs, leaning her head against the shoulder of the boy laying beside her. He smiles, passing a hand over the top of her head, smoothing down her static hair.

“We’re going to be graduates… fuck it’s crazy.” She cranes her neck, smiling as she meets green eyes. He leans forward, pecking her lips quickly. “Alright, let me up. My moms gonna be home soon.” Y/n rolls over, taking the black sheet with her as he climbs out of bed, searching for his shorts.

“Good, I need to help her finish the desserts for your party tomorrow.” After months of hopping from one house to the next, Y/n has finally been able to settle into the guest bedroom of her boyfriend’s family home with what little belongings she owns. She sits up, letting the sheet fall around her hips as she snags her t-shirt and leggings off the floor.

“Oh yeah? What y’all making?” He tugs on his tank top, running his hand through his spiky blond hair as he eyes the naked expanse of her back.

Y/n shrugs, pulling on her shirt before slipping into her leggings. “Um I think a lemon cake.” The young man flops onto the bed and she laughs, laying back down beside him, her fingers twining together to rest over her stomach.

“I do like lemon.”

She rolls her eyes with a smile, “Trust me, everyone knows Trever.” He nudges her with his elbow and she laughs, a joy filled sound she’s finally getting use to.

“God, I can’t wait, finally get out of high school and we can just… do whatever. Well I mean I’ve got collage next fall but still.” Trever sighs blissfully before turning to look at his girlfriend. “Gonna come be my secret roommate? Get me in all kinds of trouble.”

“You wish,” Y/n scoffs, nudging him back. “You know my classes start a semester before yours.” Trever stays silent for a moment, Y/n staring up at the ceiling unaware of the change in his once easy expression.

“You’re still serious about that?” The question catches her off guard, her head turning to look at him. His face is pinched, like he can’t believe her. Y/n sits up, turning to face him fully.

“Y-yeah… Trever I’ve been serious about this. It’s the whole reason I work three jobs and bust my ass in school every week.”

He pushes himself up, leaning against his head board. “Look, babe, I’m not trying to be mean here but… do you really think you can do it? You’re talking about the FBI here… they don’t just take anyone. Especially…” He hesitates and her temper flares, her eyes narrowing.

“Especially, what?”

Sighing he gestures to her with a splayed hand, “Ya know… little country girls who don’t really know what they are doing. If you really want to work somewhere that makes you feel like you’re making a difference, why not go for something you’re almost guaranteed a job?” His expression shifts like he’s had the most brilliant idea, ignoring the obvious hurt growing across Y/n’s features. “911 dispatcher! You won’t even have to waste your money on-.”

“Fuck you.” She spits, standing and marching from the room, anger filling her chest to the point it almost hurts.

“Hey! Don’t talk to me like that!” Trever follows her out into the hallway, grabbing her by the shoulder as they reach the top of the stairs. She spins and shoves him, but he plants his feet, gripping her painfully by the shoulders. “Don’t you ever fucking talk to me like that again. Not in my goddamn house. You’re lucky my parents are even letting you stay here and you’re gonna act like that?” He shakes her harshly, her teeth slamming together making pain shoot up her jaw.

“At least your parents fucking believe in me! Your moms the one that paid off the rest of my entrance fee last week!” She struggles against him, her hands pushing at his chest but his fingers dig into her muscles. His face reddens but before he can say anything the front door swings open. A short, black haired woman stares up at them in confusion, her mouth open slightly.

Trever steps back quickly and Y/n moves down the stairs, keeping her eyes on her so-called boyfriend. “What is going on? I could hear you screaming from the front porch.” She closes the door behind her, her many bracelets tinkling with the movement as she sets her purse down on the landing.

“Nothing, Mrs. Dwayne.” Y/n says quietly, moving down the stairs until she is beside the woman. “I need to go to work…”

“I thought you were going to bake with me dear?” The sad look that passes across the older woman’s brown eyes makes Y/n’s throat constrict, that hated feeling of pinpricks forming in her nose. In the past five months of her relationship with Trever, Mrs. Dwayne has been nothing short of a mother figure to Y/n. Teaching her to cook, to clean, showing her the basic skills of life without so much as a disgruntled look. She didn’t want to hurt her now.

“I-I will.. I mean I am… I just. I need to go get something for work, I mean. I’ll be back.” Before Mrs. Dwayne or Trever can say a word Y/n is bolting out the front door, towards her run down car, rage and devastation simmering in her chest so heavily she can’t think anymore. The need to be anywhere but here propelling the car into motion.

She wouldn’t break down here, not where anyone could find her, when she’s alone she’ll let the tears run freely and her sobs fill the empty space around her.

Present Day

The rest of Tuesday had crept by silently, nothing like the first half of the day. You had joined Aaron for dinner in the dining room, where he informed you he had a few conference calls to make in the morning and he would check on you when he was done. That was many hours ago.

You had been awake long before the sun rose behind charcoal clouds, listening to the rain pelt your window relentlessly. You sit propped against your pillows, lost in deep thought… shameful deep thoughts. Most of your night was spent tossing and turning, what little sleep you did get wasn’t filled with the usual empty darkness, or the occasional bad dream; instead Aaron had taken up every unconscious thought.

You had dreamt of his hands on your body, much like the day before, only this time there was even less in between his burning palms and your skin. You could feel the reverberation of unheard words from his chest into your back, his hands slipping up, up, up cupping your breasts through your bra. His hips ground against your back, the buckle of his belt biting into your skin as his erection pressed against the swell of your ass. Then his palm began to travel lower, straight to your-

You shake your head fiercely, before smothering yourself with a pillow, groaning loudly. You stay like that for a few long minutes, desperately trying to ignore the ache between your thighs until it becomes to much. Throwing the pillow across the room you climb out of bed and head straight for the bathroom, determined a scalding shower would set your mind right.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Steam billows out of the room after you, a scratchy towel wrapped tight around your body, another holding your hair in place atop your head. The skin along the tops of your shoulders and breasts glow pink, having used the hot water liberally. You make your way over to the bags you had placed on the floor last night, grabbing the closest one and rummaging through it.

Something smooth and soft slips against your hand and you grab it, pulling it free of the wadded up clothing. Realizing you should really organize everything before it all becomes a wrinkled mess. Dropping the bag you unfold a Champaign colored silk night gown. It’s simple, a trim of lace adorns the bodice and it reaches about the middle of your thighs, a small slit up both sides. You can’t remember Aaron ever placing it in the cart otherwise you’d of protested.

A large part of you doesn’t want to wear it, or any of the clothing for that matter. That part was called shame. Shame that he had so easily talked you into letting him buy you all of these clothes, better yet talked you into this whole mess in the first place.

But another part of you, the one that really did not want to wear the same sweats again for the 8th day in a row, won the battle. With a defeated sigh you change into the gown. It’s hugs your body, accentuate your curves and clinging to your damp skin. It’s soft, comfortable, and smells clean, that’s all that matters to you.

You grab your over night bag, pulling out your iPod and headphones before crawling back into bed. You set up your computer to finish working, before pressing play on the little pink device and popping in an ear bud. Your phone buzzes on the nightstand only once, but you ignore it, instead typing away on your computer.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Morning slowly rolls into lunch, a half eaten croissant sandwich lays on your nightstand as you dutifully work, bobbing your head in time to the music.

‘What’s in your head, in your head? Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie-ie, oh’

Something connects with your door, the sound reverberating through the room making you scream. You rip out your ear bud, holding your breath as a series of knocks rattle your door, making your stomach swoop and drop all at once. Slowly you move from your bed to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open a crack. Aaron’s usual hard stare greets you, but his cheeks are tinged red, his lips pressed into a thin line. A shudder wracks through your body at the intensity of his stare, your palms feeling clammy against the door handle.

“Um… hi?” He doesn’t say a word as he wraps a hand around the door, forcing it open and you out of his way as he barges inside. “Hey!”he stops in the middle of the room, one hand on his hip and the other rubs at his forehead. He’s dressed in a darker pair of blue jeans this time, paired with a black collard shirt, probably more appropriate for his conference calls.

“Does your phone not work, or have you just been-.” Aaron turns then and whatever annoyed tyrant he was about to go on dies on his tongue at the sight of you. You’re standing at the door, eyebrows raised and eyes a little wide in panic, but it’s not your expression that stops him. His eye dip to your body, noticing what you’re wearing and something in his stomach stirs at the sight. The dress is stretched around your body, specifically across your stomach, an indent where your belly button is. Your hips are accentuated and he realizes with a small thrill that the fabric is just barely see through as he gaze travels from your breasts to your face.

“Fuck.” He breaths out, and a shiver skirts down your spine at the rumble of his voice, blooming into something warm and fuzzy between your hips. Aaron slowly makes his way to you, and this time you stay rooted to the carpet, your chin lifting and the back of your head bumping against the door as he stops a few mere inches in front of you. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

Aaron reached up, dragging his knuckle across your spaghetti strap, brushing across your collarbone where it stops on the curve of your neck. He cups the side of your neck, half of his palm resting against your jaw as his thumb sweeps back and forth. That warm and fuzzy feeling has caught fire, burning with a demanding intensity that leaves you reeling.

“My… My phone?” You ask absently, anything to change the direction of what might happen, his dark eyes snap to yours and you wish you had never spoken, anger and lust swirl together in his irises, his pupils dilated.

“Your phone,” He repeats, head tilting slightly as if he couldn’t quite remember what he came here for. “Were you ignoring me?”

You shake your head, then rethink his question. “Well… no not outright. I was working and in my head space, I remember my phone going off a few times but I honestly didn’t think about it.”

Aaron can only find honesty in the doe eyed look you’re giving him. “That’s two, sweetheart. You need to be more attentive.” Your eyebrows furrow, your soft gaze shifting to something hard as you glare up at the older man.

“Be more attentive? If you really needed me you could of just called. I was busy doing work, I still am.” You snap, gesturing towards your bed. He keeps his hand firm on your neck as he turns, glancing at your open laptop and he can faintly hear your music playing. “And what do you mean by two? Why do you keep counting?”

His thumb presses against the bottom of your chin, tilting your head further back and the pressure makes you squirm. He turns back with a small smile, something impish laying behind it. Aaron ducks down closer and you go still, his breath fanning over your lips and you can smell the tingling scent of mint.

“I did. Twice in fact. I’m counting the amount of times you break your rules, how ever many that is will help us decide what your punishment will be.” Aaron watches the blush slowly form across your cheeks before it seeps down your neck underneath his hand. He would be a lier if he said the effect he was having on you didn’t go both ways.

“We didn’t agree on any punishments, and how can I break a rule I didn’t know about?” You utter, quietly, your eyes betraying you and dropping away from his stare. Aaron smirks, nodding as he smooths his hand down to your collarbone, feeling the wild thump of your heart through your skin.

“That’s why I’m here. We’re going to discuss everything. Over lunch.” He steps back leaving you glued to the door staring at him baffled. “What are you in the mood for? We’ll order something in instead of risking the weather.” And as if the sky could hear his wise judgment a roll of thunder shakes the building. You squeeze your eyes shut until the noise dies off and the only thing that can be heard is the rain splattering against the window once more.

Aaron watches you, gaining a new piece of information, before walking towards the nightstand where the muted green hotel phone lays. He notices your half eaten breakfast sandwich and mutters something you can’t quiet hear.

“Um.. pizza?”

“Pizza it is.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Not long after a steaming pepperoni and sausage is sitting on your dresser. Aarons posted in the chair again and you’re perched on the foot of the bed, picking at the melted cheese glancing your boss’s way every now and again.

“You look like you have something you want to say.” Aaron says, taking a large bite of his slice. Your shoulder rises and falls, watching him openly now. He wipes his mouth with a napkin, leaning back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so… human. This is the same man you’ve witnessed stand his ground against men ready to kill, talk down others who are ready to end it all; protect his team with a fierceness that goes unmatched by any other. It’s hard to think of him as anything else besides SSA Hotchner, but right here… is just Aaron.

“I don’t know… I guess I’m still trying to wrap my head around this.” You admit, biting into your lower lip. “Everything is just… it’s such a sudden change and hasn’t been easy to get use to.”

Aaron smile is pitying at best and you want to convince yourself you hate it. “I know baby. You’ll get there, though. We have the entire month to smooth everything out and come to understand each other better.” The loose use of different pet names makes your insides bubble with craved affection, shame tinting your skin. “Are you ready to talk?”

“I don’t really have a choice do I?”

“You do, at any point you can call it off, but you know exactly where that leads.” His tone is all to knowing of your decision and you huff, scrubbing your hands across your face. He takes your silence as reluctant agreeance, pulling out his phone. “Last night I came up with some rules, punishments and rewards that I think will suit you and I the best.” He taps away at his phone for a few seconds before continuing. “The first, simple, call me Aaron when it’s just the two of us. Second, don’t doubt me when I say I am buying you something or taking you somewhere. Money is not an issue. Third-.”

“Answer my phone at your beck and call?” The sarcastic question sort of fell from your lips, causing Aaron’s eyes to narrow as he sets his paper plate down on the pizza box.

“Third.” He emphasizes, drawing out the word. “Check in with me. I need to know you are okay, if you’ve made it where you are going, if there is anything you need. It’s important that you do so.”

“That’s going to be hard to do when we will be on cases and working.” You point out, picking apart your pizza and taking small bites of the greasy dough.

“That’s why all of these rules are moldable to how we live. Work is for work, but some things will still apply. Like making sure you are eating, drinking plenty of water, getting rest when you can. After hours, when it’s just us, I expect you to follow your rules completely.” He watches the way you pluck off the pepperonis, setting them off to the side. “Punishments won’t be a daily thing like it is with others. We can pick a day where we sit and go over everything you’ve done wrong for the week, then decide your punishment from there. I have a few ideas such as choosing your clothing for the week, have your write lines, have you kneel for an extended period of time.”

Your nose scrunches, the next thing your peeling from your pizza is the little balls of sausage. “That all sounds a bit childish.”

“You aren’t wrong. But you’d be surprised how childish a person can act when given rules.” You roll your eyes making him chuckle. “Just like that.” You shoot him a halfhearted glare that he returns with a smile. “But if you’ve been a brat all day, disobeying me and forgetting your rules multiple times, then I may need to resort to something a bit harsher. Putting you over my knee, bondage, collar.” He watches your face flush, eyes going wide like a full moon. “Even then. It’s more so about the embarrassment than it is ever about the pain. Some people find these things enjoyable.”

“You can’t be serious.”

Aaron’s smile takes on a more devious twist, letting his head rest against his fist as he props his arm on the chair. “Maybe you’ll just have to find out.”

You stare at him in shock, your half deconstructed pizza laying forgotten in your lap as your insides burn. Your mind betrays you, questions popping up like wildfires; what would it feel like? Would he leave marks on your skin? Would you enjoy it like he says?

Stammering you drop your gaze from his, his smile never fading as he searches the soft planes of your face, forcing himself not to look any lower than your exposed collarbones and the gentle slope of your shoulders. You set your plate to the side, crossing then uncrossing your legs, the bed creaking as you try to sort through your thoughts. “Can um… can I ask you something?”

“Always.”

“Does David know? And if so is there anyone else?”

Aaron nods, then quickly raises his hands at the look of panic crossing your features. “David is the only one who knows, and that’s not because I told him out right.” Your panic quickly melts into confusion. “David is the one who suggested I bring up a contract with you.”

Your jaw drops, absolutely flabbergasted. “Wait.. David’s… he’s into this?” Aaron nods again, letting you piece together what you will with that crumb of information. “Oh… so… that means the two do you were talking about me.”

Aaron laughs, a deep pleasant sound. “I promise, it wasn’t anything like you might think. We are just worried, and he thought it would be more appropriate coming from me than him.” Despite his humor you can feel panic rising steadily in your chest.

“Ho- Aaron what if someone finds out?”

“There isn’t any reason for anyone to know.”

The iron grip of your blooming panic wraps itself around your throat, your body humming with a desperate need to move and open your lungs. You stand from the bed and begin to pace the small area, passing Aaron with each turn on your heel.

“What if one of us slips up? The amount of trouble we could get into is-it’s astronomical. I’d be forced out of my job because I’m suddenly a woman who sleeps with their boss. You would be forced to resign but of course they’ll go easy on you-.”

“Honey-.”

“-Even if it doesn’t get to that point, the entire team will see me differently. They will question the authenticity of my role and my job. Oh God, and Morgan would be relentless with the teasing.”

“Y/n.”

“He still calls me señorita after I messed up my order at that Mexican restaurant a month ago! He’d never let us-.” Aaron leans forward, capturing your wrist as you walk by with a sharp tug. Pain laces up your already tense muscles and on instinct you turn, your hand lashing out and connecting with the side of Aaron’s face.

Everything goes silent, both of you stuck staring at the other in shock. “I-I’m… I didn’t mean-.” Aaron pulls you down and you clumsily fall into him, knee banging against the chair; your free hand landing on his shoulder. Aaron wraps a hand around the back of your neck, squeezing and before you can utter a word his lips crash into yours.

A muffled squeal escapes the back of your throat, squirming in his tight hold but it proves useless as his other hand drops your wrist, circling the back of your thigh and pulling you fully into his lap. Thighs caging his hips, chest pressed tight against his you squeeze your eyes shut. Aaron depends the kiss, moving his lips against yours allowing a few whimpering syllables to reach the air.

Your heart hammers painfully, your hands gripping at his shoulders but to your surprise you find your body relaxing. Every panicked thought is eclipsed by Aaron as his tongue slowly traces the seem of your lips, asking for entrance that you hesitantly give. But once you get your first taste of him you know you’re gone for, a soft moan rattles through your chest and Aaron devours it, licking into your mouth like a man starved.

His rough hand slips up your thigh, mindful to stay over your dress as it rides up, to cup your ass, squeezing the fat making your hips jump. The involuntary movement makes you grind down against him, pulling out another moan that is quickly followed by one of his own. He is all you can focus on, the fingers in your hair at the base of your skull, the growing bulge pressing into your heated core, the way the side of his nose bumps into yours. His thighs shift, sliding you further into his lap with a ragged groan.

Slowly, almost unwillingly you pull back, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. He gives you the silent moment you need, his fingers scratching your scalp slightly as you try to compose yourself atop him. He can’t stop the way his eyes roam to your lips though, the short taste of you forever imbedded in his brain.

When you finally let your eyes flutter open you meet his half lidded gaze, you lick your lips. “I-I need some time alone…”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Two hours later your phone buzzes on the nightstand, you glance at it from where you lay, curled up on your side in bed. Your fingers keep tracing your kiss swollen lips, unable to stop thinking about anything else. Grabbing your phone you roll onto your other side, opening your texts.

A new message from Aaron pops up, and your thumb hovers over the screen, your stomach churning with anticipation. Clicking the screen a long message pulls up.

‘Let me know what you want to change, my sweet girl.’

A smile tugs at your lips without your permission, cheeks reddening as you read over the list of rules, rewards, and punishments that follow. At the very end, boldened followed by a question mark is the word:

‘Spanking?’

You take a deep breath, sealing your fate with a few clicks of your keyboard.

Thank you all for the amount of love this has received 😭 I can’t wait to continue writing the rest of this story. Please comment below if you would like to be added to the tag list!

Tag List: @kneelforloki @hmett20 @axionn @ncis0mrs0gibbs @morgthemagpie @zaddyhotch @little-miss-cherry-cola @fandomawesomness @heart-breaker8 @aad1993 @obsessed-oops @supercriminalbean @lex13cm @rosiehale23 @emptybagofchips77 @icarusgloom @imr0nni3 @cashtons-wife

[thehopefuljournalist]

unrelated- what's your favorite news story recently?

Hello, thank you so much for asking!! I've had a hard time because this week was actually full of news stories and I'm working on releasing them all to you guys!

But let me tell you about my favourite one from today :)

As an activist, working within my own country and out especially in climate-related themes, I believe in people-power, fully. I know, of course, that some people have more power and influence than others, but there's no denying that there's strength in numbers.

This recent, huge, protest in New York is such a hopeful turn, I think. I love seeing that I'm not the only one worried, that I'm not alone in my fighting. With numbers, we have a bigger chance of winning over our world leaders, and by doing that, to protect ourselves and our futures.

Well, this is my favourite news story from the past two days.

This past Sunday, 75K climate activists took to New York's streets in a “march to end fossil fuels”

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez criticized the US continuing to approve fossil fuel projects, something which the Biden administration did earlier this year with the controversial Willow project in Alaska.

“We are all here for one reason: to end fossil fuels around the planet,” Ocasio-Cortez told a rally at the finish of the march, which ended close to the UN headquarters where world leaders will gather this week. “And the way we create urgency is to have people around the world in the streets.”

“The United States continues to be approving a record number of fossil fuel leases and we must send a message, right here today,” adding that despite record profits the support for the fossil fuel industry was “starting to buckle and crack”.

“This is an incredible moment,” said Jean Su of the Center for Biological Diversity, who helped organize the mobilization. “Tens of thousands of people are marching in the streets of New York because they want climate action,"

“This also shows the tremendous grit and fight of the people, especially youth and communities living at the frontlines of fossil fuel violence, to fight back and demand change for the future they have every right to lead,” she said.

The march came during Climate Week, as world leaders gather for this week’s UN general assembly, and a UN climate ambition summit on Wednesday.

On Friday, the national security adviser, Jake Sullivan, said Biden was not currently scheduled to take part in Wednesday’s UN climate summit. Biden has been praised by climate activists for last year passing a historic $369bn climate law but criticized for allowing oil drilling projects and the expansion of gas facilities in the Gulf of Mexico.

A decision for Biden to stay away from the UN climate ambition summit is “unacceptable”, said Su of the Center for Biological Diversity. “The time is now for Biden to lead on the world stage, and show he means it when he calls climate change the existential threat to humanity.”

During the march, the Rev Lennox Yearwood, head of the Hip Hop Caucus, likened today’s climate movement to the US fight for racial justice. 

Youth climate activist Vanessa Nakate, from Uganda, said: “When we say that we want climate justice, we’re not just talking about transitioning to solar panels. We are talking about leaving no one behind when you’re talking about addressing the injustices that come with the climate crisis."

Article published September 17, 2023 - The Gaurdian

Another article, interviewing a young climate activist

[youngveinsworld]

the young veins interview at the beat kitchen in chicago, 10 april 2010

Ryan, Andy and Nick M of the Young Veins interviewed by Natalie Kuchik for the Estrella Online blog, 10 April 2010:

Can you please state your name and what you do in the band? Ryan: My name is Ryan Ross and I am the James Dean of the group. Andy: I am Andy Soukal and I play the thumping bass. Slapping the bass. Nick: My name is Nick Murray and I play the drums.

The first tour as The Young Veins, how has it been going and what’s the crowd reaction been like? Ryan: Seems like it is getting better and better. Nick: The tour seems to be picking up steam. Ryan: More and more people are coming I feel like than the first shows, so that’s really nice. Andy: We have such a diverse line-up. We have a hip-hop band, a crazy Freddie Mercury style band and then a throw back band and the crowd has been really receptive to all of it.

How did you guys get on this tour with Foxy Shazam? Ryan: We are managed by the same people. It was kind of tough to get on a tour when you don’t have any music out or any records, so I think they did us a favor. Or maybe we are doing them a favor.

What is it like going back to more smaller intimate venues? Ryan: It is more interesting every night, you never know what you are going to walk into. Some of these stages are, I question the craftsmanship in a lot of these clubs because I can’t figure out what they were thinking but it makes it a lot of fun. Being so close to the crowd again, I forgot how that was and it makes the show have more energy I think.

Do these venue sizes make you guys more hands on? Do you go out and sign merch afterwords? Ryan: Yeah, pretty much every night. If you need to come see me, I am petty much around. It has been really nice to actually be able to talk to the kids it has been awhile since that has been possible. Nick: Especially, since we don’t have any music out or released we are building a really close relationship with what fan-base we do have is really important. Being as close as possible, building friendships and meeting people around the country is good.

What kind of comments are you guys getting from fans? Andy: It ranges all over the place. Ryan: Yeah, where do we begin. Well, I guess about the music it has been cool to have kids say, “I wasn’t sure if I was going to like this or not”, “I’ve only heard two songs but I’m really excited about the album now.” Then sometimes they ask if they can marry me. Nick: The best feeling in the world is to have people that did not come for our band and like our band and tell us that after the show. Especially, since no one has any pretense of what to expect. If they did like it, that is a really good feeling, it is the best feeling in the world. Ryan: It really feels like we are up there trying to win people over, it is challenging.

When this tour ends, what are your plans after? Ryan: More touring, we are going to do Bonnaroo. Then we are trying to route a tour around that so we will be touring in June and then the album comes out June 8th.

The first single is “Change” why did you go with that one? Nick: Seemed logical. Ryan: Yeah, I don’t know. I feel like that album is all over the place and so many songs sound different. I can’t say it represents the album best but it is one of the more upbeat heavier songs. I think live it is a lot of fun to do. Andy: We also did a lot of market research.

Did you really? Because people do that. Ryan: We polled people at the movies.

On your upcoming album Take a Vacation! all the songs are three minutes or less, was that planned or did it just happen? Ryan: No, I don’t know. I guess something switched in Jon and my songwriting and I guess we just trimmed the fat and cut out parts we didn’t need. It is going to kind of make it hard to do a headlining tour. A lot of our favorite records are really short. I mean, there are so many early Elvis songs that are under two minutes long it is really crazy. It wasn’t a conscious thing it is just the style of music we write is shorter, I don’t know for what reason.

The album comes out June 8th, are you planning on streaming it online for free before it comes out, or any other promotions? Ryan: We are sort of putting together some sort of marketing plan but that is not really my strong point, so the label is always coming up with stuff like that. We are doing something pretty cool where if you buy the vinyl you’ll get the CD for free. We are doing these really neat pre-order packages where we are doing these view master things from when you were a kid. We are doing a box set thing where you get one of those with pictures of the band and we did a couple of photo shoots for them. Stuff that is fun for us to do.

Did your label come up with those ideas or was it your guys? Ryan: That was ours. Nick: We really liked the idea of having a view master. Ryan: We were talking about it months ago. Nick: We just didn’t think it was a possibility. Ryan: The label has been really great about letting us do these crazy things already.

What about the vacation photo contest, was that your idea? Ryan: That was their idea, which I really liked because I have been meeting the kids every night and they are really excited about it. There is really nothing we have to do, it is just a great way to have people come for free.

When you (Ryan) were in Panic! at the Disco you wrote a lot of the songs, would you ever do one of those songs live again? Ryan: I don’t know, I sang a couple of the songs so I guess those would be the only ones I would do. I haven’t really thought about it to be honest with you. Andy: It is a different style so it kind of clashes a little bit. I am not super familiar with everything but if there are a couple of songs similar to our style sure it would be considered but otherwise, it would just clash with what we are doing.

I know your sound is so different, when did you feel the shift from Panic! at the Disco to The Young Veins sound? Ryan: The stuff that I was writing, like half this album (Take a Vacation!) with Jon would have been for the Panic! record anyway. It wasn’t a shift really except for when we quit, I guess it allowed us to do even more than we wanted. Maybe half this stuff we actually already knew [that] there would be no chance it would be for Panic! so we went wild with it. It wasn’t a conscious shift ever in our songwriting, it just kept evolving.

When you parted ways did you know your former band members would keep using the Panic! At the Disco name? Ryan: No, I didn’t think that they would keep the name. It was a little bit shocking when I heard about them doing these tours and stuff without us. I figured doing your own thing meant doing your own thing.

What is a song you never get sick of hearing? Andy: “Wounded” by The Cookies. No one is going to know what that is so you don’t have to write that down, but I am going to throw that out there. Ryan: Reason why? Andy: Reason why, well it’s an old song and it’s just really unique and clever. The vocal melody are just so challenging, and that stuff in today’s music is not accessible at all. You don’t find stuff like that. Ryan: You got one Nick? Nick: I just thought of one, umm… Ryan: The one that I keep listening to recently is the song “The Windmills of Your Mind”, the Dusty Springfield version. I think we might cover that song in the future but it is constantly on repeat for me. Nick: It is kind of an obvious one but “Waterloo Sunset” is still one of my favorite songs of all time which is by The Kinks. I’ve never gotten sick of listening to that song. Ryan: Yeah, that’s one of mine. Nick: I have probably heard it fifteen thousand times and it’s never gotten old. Andy: Also “No Scrubs” by TLC, that one never gets old. We sing that one in the van a lot.

Think you would ever cover that song? Andy: I hope.

You are going to need some filler songs when you headline. Andy: Yeah (laughs).

What is something you have always wanted to do but have not done yet? Nick: Shoot a feature film. Ryan: Shoot a feature film star. Andy: I would like to be in Nick’s feature film.

Seriously, are you into movies? Andy: Especially Die Hard. Nick: Yeah, I definitely want to make one though within the next year or so. Ryan: I don’t know, I am sorry I don’t have a good answer for this one. Nick: I don’t even want that to be the answer though, I want something crazier. Ryan: I know I am not really funny today, I am a little bit upset at myself actually.

You guys are young, there has to be something! Ryan: I have done it all (everyone laughs). I want to learn how to ride a motorcycle.

Do you own one yet? Ryan: No, but wouldn’t that be funny?

Well, some people buy frivolous stuff they don’t use. Ryan: Yeah, I have thought about it. Me and Jon were going to buy motorcycles when I still lived in Vegas and we were going to drive up into the mountains until we realized what a bad idea that was. I still would like to because I used to live near the PCH in California, so I always thought it would be fun to drive a motorcycle up and down the coast.

If you could see any band or artist perform any song live, what would it be and why? Andy: These questions are so hard. Ryan: They’re so good though. Andy: Bon Jovi. I agree! No, I’m just joking. Ryan: Can you travel back in time and see the group when they were young?

Yeah, any line up, any song. Ryan: I might want to see The Kinks do “You Really Got Me” like in 1965 or something. Nick: “I Was A Teenage Werewolf” by The Cramps.

Any particular reason why? Nick: Yeah, I’m a really big Cramps fan and Lux died last year, so I never got to see them. Andy: Can I just say, every song that Gentle Giant has ever done.

Just an entire concert, any reason why? Andy: That is such a bad answer. They are just really wacky and they are just this weird band from the 70s that never made it anywhere but was really cool. Ryan: I can’t understand why.

You (Ryan Ross) received a backlash when you left Panic! At the Disco, did you expect that? Ryan: No, but I guess…

Did you have to learn to roll with it? Ryan: Yeah, I mean it was already bad enough without that having to happen to. I guess, when people don’t understand the reasons why it’s easy to get mad at the person you don’t know for something you think they did. It’s weird how some of the fans took it personally. I wish they would understand, this is our life and we have to do what is best for us.

You have to play the music that you want to play. Nick: People grow up. Ryan: It seems to be passing a little bit. Some people are coming around and saying, maybe it wasn’t the smartest train of thought I was on a couple of months ago. I don’t know, I mean obviously if I was a young kid, a teenager and my favorite band broke up I would be a little bit upset too.

Estrella: Do you guys have any final comments? Andy: No, that was my two cents. Ryan: Do you want to comment on it? (laughs) Andy: No, that about covers it. Ryan: Cool, thanks.

[riddles-n-games]

You know what we’ve been really missing out on? A dance headcanon. It may have crossed your mind at some point or you have never thought of it, but trust me you actually have, so here you go and you’re welcome.

We’ve certainly gotten sprinkles (read: karaoke scene, I mean, we were about to get FED and bam Grayson pity party) of such things throughout the series but not in any outright way as is the case with many of the things that could give us more background on the Hawthorne brothers. (Why you holding out on us JLB??? Huh?!) Anyways, here. Read.

Nash-He does line dancing, I mean, you should have seen that one coming. He's basically the country star of his family and he owns it to the fullest; he's literally one of Taylor Swift's back up dancers for goodness' sake. Nash's favorite version of line dance is square dancing and being the sweetheart he is, he will go to retirement homes on dance nights and be one of the choreographers or partners to help the old folks who want to dance. Of course, when there's a festival, that's when he really gets down. But, this might surprise you; he's also had a stint with hip hop and he's pretty darn good at it. He can do the dougie for sure. In fact, he got so good at hip hop that he also started adding his own style to it and gave it his country flare at freestyle competitions (Jamie and Xander's minds were blown, at first, before the big brother cool wore off that is but they were still impressed🤭).

Grayson-All of them learned how to do ballroom dancing (mainly waltz) but someone had to be the best of them, too. Enter Grayson Hawthorne. He is certainly the go-to brother for these types of dances but he excels at tango and waltz which also give him his greatest enjoyment. Certainly, at school events, he was always sought after during the slow songs and was always leading man for the school's ballroom team. It was the one chance the ladies were allowed to swoon without a certain redhead ruining everything. Though he competed nationally and worldwide, he preferred the simple entry level competitions for the sake of the peace. It was also more fun. He also challenged himself by learning flamenco and he was enamored by it, loving the fast steps and quick changes from one thing to another. However, his grandfather wanted him to push it further since he was already pursuing the dance so he wanted him to do competitions and as much as he put his heart and soul into it, Gray hated doing competitions when he wanted to do this for fun. After his grandfather died, he quit comps and stopped dancing flamenco for a while but his brothers (read: Xander) have been encouraging him to take it up again as a fun hobby. He's been warming up to the idea.

Jameson-Should it really come as a surprise that this boy can tap dance? Because, yes, he can and he is damn proud of it. It’s a favorite party trick of his to pull on the dance floor or in the middle of the club and he’s always tearing it up. He also loves Irish stepdance and after watching the famous Riverdance live, Jameson was obsessed. That was how he and Xander ended up being trained by the very Riverdance company itself and they trained for two years until Xan no longer expressed interest but Jamie got good enough that he even went on tour with them. Also, he's been expanding his repertoire with street dancing, mambo, and most recently disco due to a certain someone's obsession with the 70s.

Xander-Despite Gray being the undisputed king of ballroom in the family, his youngest brother still takes to the swing better than anyone. He has been the most enthusiastic about it and loves the energy which matches him well in every aspect of the dance. Unlike his brother, competing never really bothered him and this is actually one of the things that he gets him into a perfectionist complex. He was a junior world champ on two occasions and now is teaching Max how to do it. On the more casual side of casual side of things, he also knows how to shag which is one of his favorite things to do on little dates with Maxine when they aren't going anywhere. And, of course, being the most sporadic of his brothers, Xander always shocks people when he tells them he also has done ballet. He never got to become a principal dancer as a junior dancer but he did get to do a few pas de deux and was a soloist when he was with the Texas Ballet Theater. His favorite ballets are The Nutcracker and Don Quixote; he appreciates Swan Lake but hates the unhappy versions.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Idk how I feel about armys saying Hobi's streams are lower because of the fandom hating the rapline and others saying it's because of boycotters. Something about both narratives rub me the wrong way, as if both sides are trying to push narratives that don't truly really stand up.

You've said you don't focus on streams I think but you're still a rapline bias BPP. You still bias Hobi so you know about his streams. How do you reconcile how these narratives are?

***

I don't think this is complicated. Hobi's numbers were lower because some ARMYs didn't stream his album. That's it. It's the same case for RM.

It doesn't mean the fandom "hates" the rapline or that boycotters are to blame (given they so far appear to be a small minority). It just confirms that the fandom has imploded and so there is less cohesion around music goals, and so ARMYs who just aren't the audience for that kind of music aren't going to stream it.

What I've observed is that the core fandom that also started with BTS, are hiphop-heads. They are fans who actually enjoy the grit, the experimentation, and the crudeness of hip hop, which is the bread and butter of the BTS rapline.

When we used to be a proper country, it was the fandom that worked to make much of that music more palatable for other parts of the fandom, by translating and spreading interesting nuances in their lyricism, by making cool edits and fan mixes, by hosting stream parties with fun playlists, etc. It gave the members a headstart in building an audience. It took cohesive initiative from the fandom, and now much of that cohesive initiative is either hibernating or gone. If BigHit actually knew what they were doing (which is dubious given what MHJ has shown about BigHit and HYBE), they'd take the headstart the fandom gave them and work to establish a more solid market/audience for the members as they matured.

But for that to happen, BigHit has to know how to actually market the members beyond k-pop, beyond mindless radio pop, to more specific audiences. And lol, well, I'm still waiting to see that happen. Just look at the difference in quality between the kind of collaborators the members themselves seek out to work with (Little Sims and Ryuichi Sakamoto) vs. what HYBE arranges for them (Kodak Black and Central Cee).

I'm not worried for RM though. I've never been the sort of fan to take personal stake in his accolades, rankings, or perceived success, but even then I can see he's still doing more than fine, all things considered. Could be have a better performance if more of the fandom was engaged or if BigHit marketed him more to an audience that would better appreciate his solo work? Of course, but I don't ascribe the reasons for that not happening to "hate" or whatever ARMYs think boycotters are doing.

If anything, I find the blame-shifting from ARMYs to boycotters a bit cringe. The fandom is split, people are distracted and most of the people here are more focused on fighting a war on Bang Sihyuk's behalf than actually focusing on BTS and taking time to appreciate their work. It's a bit pathetic, but not malicious and frankly, it's expected.

Stream Neuron and Right People Wrong Place.

[yourmomni]

Casual

Jaehyun x black reader

A/n: this story is inspired by the Chappell Roan song casual. Lately I’ve been obsessed with her,I might write a part 2 and base it off of another song so I hope you all enjoy and my request are back open btw🥰🥰🫡. Also imma miss my man while he away serving his country

TW: sexual content, cursing,Jaehyun is a asshole,angst

“I'm just saying, I don't know why you still hang around him, he's literally everyone's man.” she blew her cigarette smoke in my face as i waved my hand. “You're going to get cancer.” she glared at me, flicking the bud on the ground. I stumped it out for her and handed her a bottle of water so she could rinse her mouth.

“He's not as bad as everyone makes him out to be, he's super sweet and caring.” she scoffed. “ I would not describe Jeong Jaehyun as sweet and caring.” she hopped on the trunk beside me resting her head on my shoulder. “I wished you could see him how I do jazz.” I breathed out fidging with my fingers as I rested my head on hers. “Nah then i'd probably be a loser like you.” i huffed out a laugh rolling my eyes

A loud gasp was yanked from my throat as my hands touched the roof of Jaehyun's car, my other hand was gripping his hair as he went down on me. The rain was hitting the window harder by each second almost like it was counting down the seconds until I finished. His grip on my waist was definitely going to leave a bruise later.

“ Jae- Jae im so close.” He licked from my cunt all the way to my clit as he slowly flicked his tongue up and down making me go overboard. The scream I let out was porngraphic as my legs shook around his head. He quickly connected his lips onto mine as I tasted my release on him. “Was that satisfying for you.” he smirked against my lips, pecking them one last time before going back to the driver's seat. I pulled my underwear up and smoothed my dress back down over my legs. He put the car in drive and began driving me home.

I looked over at him as he drove me home, his hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were turning white, the city lights illuminated his face making his jaw bone look sharper than usual. “What's going on in the pretty little head of yours.” he looked over at me quickly, a small smile evident on his face. “Why don't you ever let me suck you off.” the car swerved a little, making you grab the door handle in fear. “ Sorry i wasn't expecting you to say something like that.” his smile now gone replaced with frowned eyebrows and a clenched jaw.

He looked more like he was having a confrontation in his head than angry and what I asked. “ Sorry its just we always hang out and it always ends with you pleasing me but me never doing anything for you.” he bit the skin on his lip. “ Well babe you don't have to worry about me okay i'm fine with just pleasing you.” you looked down at your hands. A little part of you knew he was going to respond like he did. Once after you guys made out and you were on his lap you got a little too excited and grinded your hips on him. He quickly flipped you over and took your pants off, for as long as you've been hanging out with him he's always stopped you from going over the sex line.

He noticed your sad gaze and reached for your thigh rubbing his thumb over your knee. “ What we have going is fine for now.” she sighed.”but i feel like you're doing all the work.” he chuckled. “y/n lets not over complicate things. I'm not doing this for both of our pleasures, I'm only doing it for yours let me worry about if i get off or not.” he pulled in the front of your house. He looked over to see the pained look you had on your face. You were biting the inside of your cheek to keep from saying anything else. Jaehyun leaned on the wheel then fell back against his seat.

“ I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you like that.” you unbuckle your seatbelt, opening the door. “No it's my fault i dont even know why I said that.” you closed the door “y/n wait-” you cut him off “i'll see you later.” you plastered a sweet smile on your face as you covered your head from the rain. You ignored when he called for you knowing their wasn't much for him to say anyways he said everything he needed

You weren't dating Jeong Jaehyun, hell you haven't even slept with him, so why were you so upset when you found out the night he dropped you off at your house from eating you out, he went straight to anothers girl's house to get his dick wet.You shouldnt be but you were, you were storming down the corridor of the school searching for Jaehyun.

You spotted him dapping up one of his friends wearing the baseball cap you bought him from your trip to Brazil 4 weeks ago. His friends spotted you before he did “Hey isn't that y/n” jaehyun looked over his shoulder seeing you in all your beauty. You walked up to them and jae immediately pulled you in for a kiss. “Hey baby what's up.” you looked at him in shock. He's never kissed you infront of his friends and definitely not in public for everyone to see.

You stuttered over your words completely forgetting what you wre going to say to him, all the anger you had seeped away from you. “Oh i was just looking for you, you never returned my text.” he held you by your waist tucking a braid behind your ear. “Oh i'm sorry i had it on DND for a class.” he bid his friend goodbye as he grabbed your hand and you began walking with him, “i was wondering if you were busy next week?” you shrugged. “No not really” maybe that talk about him being with other girls can wait.

What the hell did you get yourself into, Jaehyun’s mom was sitting infront of you showing you a book full of his baby pictures while jae helped his dad at the grill outside. “Im just so happy you could make it y/n i know long beach is a far drive.” I shook my head. “Oh its fine, really i was super excited to meet you guys.” their was apart of you that wished this was all real, you wished you were dating jaehyun and he introduced you to his family for the first time. You wished you would be a common fae around the Jeong household. But it was all a lie.

Jae needed someone to bring home to meet his parents to show he was making progress in school and not fucking around. And What's a better choice then bringing the girl you eat out occasionally in your bmw. “Mom she doesn't want to see any more baby pictures.” he winned sitting beside me draping his arm behind me head. His mom excused her self going outside to talk to his dad about when dinner would be done.

“Your family is nice.” He nodded pulling out his phone putting all his attention on it.I sighed tapping my legs. “Y/n can I ask you something.” Jae’s sister asked standing infront of me, I nodded standing up and walking with her to her room where she closed the door.

“Okay so theirs this guy I like and I think he likes me to but I don’t know if I should make the first move or not.” Areum looked just like their mom long brown hair and roses cheeks. She was younger then Jae by 3 years and was in her last years of highschool.

“Well if you’re anything like your brother your pretty strong willed so I think you should make the first move.” She smiled pulling me into a hug “ thanks for the advice I’m totally gonna do that.” We talked for a little awhile about the guy she was talking about, even exchanging numbers.

Jae looked agitated for the rest of the night, you couldn’t help but think you had something to do with it. You guys sat down for dinner and socialized but Jae only gave dry answers to his parents when asked how school was or if he talked to old friends. Something was bothering him.

“Jae can you show me where the bathroom is?” You asked standing up from the table, he stood up telling his patents her would be back. He guided you down the hall you quickly pulled him into the bathroom closing the door and locking it

Before you could say anything jaehyun had you pined to the door and in a heated kiss. His hands were traveling up your sides feeling how soft your skin was.”Jae what are you doing, your parents are waiting for us.” He’s lips trailed down your neck sucking on the skin. He slowly reached his hand in your pants, you grabbed his wrist.

“Jae we can’t.” He finally made eye contact with you, his eyes darker then usual as he stared at you. You’ve never seen him look at you like this “ I need you.” He breathed out leaning his forehead on yours. “I need you so bad y/n” his lips ghosting over yours. “Just this once let me have you” he never broke eye contact with you.

His hands were pulling at the waist band of your skirt. You knew what he was asking but you didn’t know how to react to it. Out of all the places jaehyun wanted to fuck you it would be in his parents house in their bathroom. “ But you said-“ he groaned “ forget about what I said…I need you.” He was begging you. He pecked your lips and that’s what made you fall for it. That’s why your gripping the sink with your underwear to your ankles and jaehyun thrusting behind you.

Since then it was like you found a new side of jaehyun. He would see you after school just so you would get him off again and again. You didn’t have a problem with it but it was starting to feel like that’s all he needed you for. But it’s all casual it’s normal for this to happen in situationships.

You finished your last class of the day putting everything in your backpack and throwing it on your back. “Hey.” You looked up and saw one of jaehyun friends waving at you. “ oh hey I don’t know where Jae is” you began walking away from him but he stopped you “ oh I actually wanted to talk to you.” You tilted your head in confusion. “ Can we maybe go outside.” You nodded as you made your way out of the class

“ He told you what?” My eyebrows were raised and nostrils flaring in anger. I was gripping my book bag strap to near death from the guys statement. “ He said you guys weren’t together and only fuck buddies. So I don’t think he’ll mind if me and you did something you know. Maybe we can have what you and him do, no harm no strings attached.” Okay now you were livid you scoffed. “ no thanks.” I walked away from him but he grabbed my wrist. “ You don’t have to be loyal to him y/n, everyone knows your not the only girl he messes around with.” You yanked your arm away. “ He says what you have is casual with no strings attached but why is he bring you to meet his parents? Why is he ranting to you about all his life problems? But turning around and fucking other girls. That doesn’t seem casual to me”

I thought he thought of me as someone better then just a common fling. But I guess not. I’m just one of his side girls he fucks when he wants to. Jazz told you he was a dick but you didn’t want to listen. She told you your heart was to fragile to be in a situation like this, you needed someone to love you, to care for you, to need you like you needed them. You were just a girl he banged on his couch and used when he needed.

You’ve been ignoring Jae for 3 days, it was a lot harder then you thought. You had over 20 missed calls and 50 missed text messages from him. You started taking your car to school and even parking it across campus to avoid him seeing you. “ You know you could just tell him you don’t want to see him anymore.” Jazz was fluffing her hair in you mirror as you both got ready for a party. “I know I’m just trying to find the right worlds I don’t want him to hate me.” She applied gloss to her lips and posed infront of the mirror “ Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

The party was packed to the rim with college students. You were trying to navigate yourself through to make it to a vacated area. “ is it to late to go back home” I groaned pushing my way through people. Jazz was long gone finding one of her classmates starting up a conversation with them which caused you to be left by yourself fight through the crowd.

Once you found a open space you could finally breathe. This was defiantly the last party you were going to this year. What you really needed was a drink. This week had your brain spiraling every which way, not slowing down at all for you to think. You still didn’t know what you were going to say to jaehyun when you saw him.

A little part of you wanted to forget everything his friend told you and go back to the way things were, you so badly wanted to believe everything he said was a lie but a part of you knew it wasn’t.

The problem was you had a faith in jaehyun, you had faith that he wasn’t fully using you and he had more respect for you then what others were saying. Gosh how you wished everything he told you wasn’t true. Maybe you could gaslight yourself into not believing and forgetting everything else. But that quickly changed.

Your heart was fully shattered now, the pieces falling into your stomach. You could tear your eyes away from what you were seeing. Jeahyun was at the part. With a girl pushed up against the making out with her.

She had her arms around his neck and fingers in his hair, like how you use to do. His arm was on the wall behind her while his other hand was feeling up her waist.

God how stupid could you be.

You just wanted to disappear, right then and there. You wanted the ground to open and swallow you up. How could you think and man like that would fall in love with you.Oh how you would do anything for him. How you would answer his phone calls at 3am when he complained about a class or his friends. How you stayed by his side when he was sick, how you met his parents and grew close with his sister. How you thought he saw you more then an object. Because he surely replaced you fast, or did he always know her.

He pulled away from her with a shit eating grin on his face at that moment he turned his head,his smile dropping from his face. He quickly removed the girls arms from around his neck and stepped away from him. He was looking at you with a new expression. He was caught.

And he didn’t know what to do

You headed staright for the door no longer wanting that drink and instead wanting to go home and cry into your sheets. You got through the crowd more quicker then going walking out the door and down the side walk.

How could you be so stupid

Thinking you were the only one

Such an idiot

The tears started to roll down your cheek and you wiped them.why were you crying? You knew what you were getting into. You knew from the beginning. “Y/n.” You heard feet running towards you. Jeahyun grabbed you arm turning you around. You couldn’t even look at him, because you knew if you did everything would pour out of you.

“ Y/n what did you expect?” What did you expect? Is that really what he just said to you. “I told you how it was going to be between us. I told you no feelings should be involved, you knew better” The glare you gave jaehyun would have killed him right then and there if it could. “ You know Jae you're a piece of shit.” Jae's eyes widened at your words. “ I did everything for you. I listened to you when no one else would, I was their for you during your darkest times, I met your fucking parents. Nothing about us is casual.” Now it was all coming back to you. The reason why you were always so angry with him but then forgetting it is because he would open his pretty mouth and sweet talk you down. No more of that

“ I would have done anything for you, I-“a sob ripped from your throat .” It’s hard being casual when I have clothes at your house, it’s hard being casual when I’m close with your sister jaehyun, I try to be the chill girl who doesn’t say much and give you space certain days but Jae I’m not those fucking things.” you wiped your tears with your sleeve. “I - i dont even know why im out here outside this fucking house party crying over a guy who didnt give a shit about me.”

His jaw was clenched and hands running through his hair anxiously. “ I can’t be with you.” You faced dropped. He finally looked at you anger evident on his face ,he closed his eyes tightly. “ I’m a piece of shit, I know that. I know I hurt you but I didn’t care because I was getting something out of it.” Your face fell he did this to you on purpose. “im a narcissist that’s what everyone calls me right? They aren’t lying y/n I don’t care about anyone but myself. I told you not to get attached and look what happened Now your upset.”

You shook your head wrapping yourself in your arms. You hated yourself, why did you put up with this for so long, why did you put yourself in this situation. He was right, you knew what you were getting into but your stupid heart couldn’t take it.

“Why did you start having sex with me?” Jeahyun eyes grew wide. “Y/n- why.” You laughed “it’s because that other girl knew you were full of shit and dropped you isn’t it?” He was clenching his fist. “That’s just what you do, you use girls and drop them when you’re done, when you can no longer control them. Well how does it feel to be dropped jaehyun?” “It feels fucking great that I don’t have to deal with your nagging anymore.” He shot back.

“I hate you Jaehyun.” Now it was his turn to look taken aback. “You don't care how you make other people feel, you only care about yourself. I get we weren't supposed to catch feelings but it's kinda hard not too especially how you treated me. And then you went and fucking told everyone what we were doing. Im a women Jaehyun if they here you’re fucking a girl especially when were in a situationship thats fucking dude points for you, but for me im going to be known as the campus slut. But you knew that right? That's why you told everyone? That’s why your friend came up to me and ask for a fuck. Because you only care about yourself. I cared about you but now i could give a fuck less what happens to you.”

You stormed away from him walking back to your car, jaehyun was standing there in anger and frustration but they weren't towards you. It was to himself, he crouched down on the sidewalk mentally beating himself up.it was hard for him to commit to a relationship, it wast likee he had past trauma but he was just so fascinated by people he couldn't choose who he wanted to spend his life with.

You were the sweetest girl he ever met, always smiling at him even after all the things people said about him, you didn't care if it was true or not you ever treated him differently. A part of him knew you were catching feelings for him, but he still let it happen. It feels good to have someone spend time with him out of care and love instead of lust. All the time you were nice to his parents , and eleven grew close with his little sister. He would be lying if he said he wasn't catching feelings too.

But he fucked everything up.

[solarwynd]

https://www.tumblr.com/solarwynd/765358565733072896/i-feel-a-bit-burnt-out-on-big-pop-songs-nowadays?source=share

Sorry this isn't really Jimin related but I was thinking about this today. Caveat I know there's a lot of great music and talented musicians who are doing cool stuff around but my gripe is that we're getting less and less mainstream exposure to it and all my points are specifically about how exposed the gp is to it, not people who are deep in a particular genre or the indie scene

For one thing the alt pop, rock, edm, britpop and punk genre has totally shrunk in on itself in the mainstream compared to about a decade or two ago. Hip hop and rap have generally expanded to sort of replace that void but this year has been disappointing I think? Is it just me? Apart from the KL - Drake beef in the summer ofc. I'm glad Latin music, afrobeats and kpop is getting bigger but it's also centered on a few big names imo, rather than being full fledged established genres. I'm no expert but that's my layman assessment. Countrys getting bigger but I dislike country so this is bad news for me 😭

But also do you remember when tv series used to try to promote artists? Sure they'd play some current radio hits or oldies and it still happens once in a while like running up that hill with stranger things but we used to get 22 episodes with at least a few indie songs playing in the past. Now that series are getting shorter and shorter, it's had this unexpected side effect of limiting that kind of exposure. Also does anyone feel mainstream movie soundtracks are getting worse too? I think it's cause most of them are marvel Disney movies and they're pretty barren from a soundscape pov. Using Justin Timberlake's bye bye bye during the Deadpool opening scene? Some of the most uninspired shit I've seen in a while.

Even the films that released as musicals this year - all of them are recycling songs from their original theatrical productions like wicked or mean girls or they don't have any new songs at all like joker folie a deux. I don't know if it's because I aged out of watching them, but it also feels like Disney channel used to have more music in general for their teen audience - high school musical movies, camp rock, victorious, Hannah Montana, descendants - need to ask some kids if they still have shows or movies like these still. Again I don't know if I aged out of this either but Disney also used to just release more animated movies with original music right? Not just releasing lion king and Mulan or whatever again with the same songs slightly tweaked with new singers. Also this is apropos of nothing but remember when glee was a thing 😭

But even as TV and movies were getting less musically diverse, I feel like in the late 2010s and around the pandemic, Tiktok, Snapchat, social media in general was taking its place and exposing people to new music. The problem is that music labels quickly caught on and nowadays tiktok is also the same roster of top 40 hits as radio with influencers being paid to dance to a song or tiktok being paid so-called heating deals to promote certain songs. Same thing with Spotify. Spotify has always had paid playlists but the way they push the same songs over and over again now is crazy.

Anyway I sound like old man yells at clouds so I'm going to stop griping and start actively seeking out new music outside what's trending. I was just curious if other people also feel this narrowing or if it's just me

This is such a good assessment and I agree with you.

[ask-spooky-manor]

Music Taste!!!!!

PLEASE.

i need 2 know what they listen to in ur HC!'s. Ty :)

[it can be just Toby, or whoever you want.]

Toby: Punk, all the way. The louder and angrier, the better. He does like a little of everything but he more gravitates to artists like Destructo Disk or GRLwood

Tim: Folk music. He needs something that can get his brain off reality for a few minutes, and the soulful sounds of Hozier or the more epic bravados of The Amazing Devil help. He also really likes Johnny Cash if the poster in his room says anything. He also loves musicals, but that will go to his grave (if he wan’t immortal)

Brian: Unironically likes country and everyone makes fun of him for it, but he will swear up and down that there are some good ones out there. Dolly Parton is his queen, his idol

Jeff: Has a soft spot for classical music like your Midnight Sonatas cause he took piano really young. Performing for the family is one of the few happy memories he has of his parents. Aside from that, he has no other preference other than a strong devotion for My Chemical Romance

Ben: Video game soundtracks obvi obvi. They can chill on the floor and listen to all of the Undertale soundtrack for hours. Though outside of that they adore chill, lofi hip-hop

EJ: Metal!!! Like Toby, Jack likes his music loud and angry though he prefers the more epicness that comes from metal like Fleshgod Apocalypse than punk music which often sound like it comes from amateurs playing in their garage (affectionate, I love punk)

Clockwork: Easy: your classic emo phase music. I’m talking My Chemical Romance, Pierce the Veil, Panic at the Disco before it went bad, Fall out Boy. Did I get that right? Idk, I never had an emo phase

Jane: Latin Pop but not like the modern stuff. I mean Gloria Trevi’s earlier music and Selena. Her mom basically worshipped Gloria Trevi, and Sunday mornings always had Jane wake up to those artists on blast as mama Richardson did her weekly cleaning of the house.

Nina: Literally any song that was in those early 2010 animation memes that you’d see on Youtube and also Vocaloid. But she likes the really fucked up Vocaloid songs like the classic Alice Human Sacrifice or Late Night Madness

Sally: MLP songs…totally not related but Sally is not allowed to use the internet-

Slender: Like super great grandfather like super great grandson, Slender also likes musicals and unlike Tim, he is not ashamed of it.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

2024: A Year In Review

2024 was certainly a year we can all go home and reflect upon. It had its ups, its downs, its utter stupidity, and its signs that augur a much worse 2025. But hey, there are probably some bright spots too.

As the 2020s have finally crystallized into their own cultural identity there's plenty to like and dislike. I hope I don't have to end up eating these words but I kinda feel like this past year was where we hit "Peak Internet" in a lot of ways as AI and botnets have really degraded a lot of the subculture. Being part of that Millennial boom of early adopters it kinda feels like we finally "got grandma online" and everyone regrets that but it pushed a lot of us to move on and remember the real world is cool too. Now we're watching as an upcoming generation and our elders slog through this bastardized version of the platforms until they too realize sitting around staring at a steady drip of ragebait is no way to live a life.

With that dreary assessment out of the way, let's have a proper best of to highlight the bright spots in pop culture, or at least the ones I liked:

Album of the Year: Beyonce - Cowboy Carter

If nothing else, great year for music! And I mean that. Pretty much every major (American) genre had a lot going for it. Except for rock, they're free to get over this weird, middle-aged dad whining about cancel culture era anytime now. There were a lot of ways I could take this. Kendrick Lamar's fiery output was great for hip-hop and Chappell Roan finally breaking into the mainstream were both worthy. But even if I haven't really been the biggest Beyonce fan since her Destiny's Child days this was a great album and one that kept itself in the conversation throughout the year despite being an early release.

Being honest, the griping from country music fans to me. If some little blonde white girl released a song like Texas Holdem it'd be a generational hit on those charts, which had plenty of washed-up white rappers from the last decade getting a crossover hit on. Which is especially funny when Beyonce actually does have more of a "country" background than most of what's coming out of Nashville. And I noticed a lot of country fans around me sure seemed to like Cowboy Carter in the few weeks before it became trendy to hate, but who really cares? In my experience country tends to have a brief mainstream moment when pop culture doesn't really know what it wants, and that sorta defines 2024 for me. This was a great album I was bopping to all year.

Movie of the Year: Anora

Yeah I'll be a bit of a weirdo here because I didn't really hear much about this one. But it was a pleasant surprise when me and sweetie went to see it. Excellent comedy about a stripper who marries a wealthy foreign fuckboy and how everything falls apart when his parents find out.

What really helped Anora stand out to me was the choice to tell a story about a largely Eastern European cast. Gave everything a sort of Crazy Rich Asians vibe but for Russians in Brooklyn. Was it anything truly groundbreaking in cinema? No, but what we got was a funny and well-made story centered around very human characters who were all believable. And it was nice seeing something a little more grounded when most trips to the theater recently seem to be focused on big, grandiose productions. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I do hope we're winding down the era of bigger and grander remakes and rehashes and getting to some more original films in coming years so I'll give Anora the bump in the hopes it's a sign of future trends. Especially if like with Everything, Everywhere All At Once I end up having a solid hunch about something that'll get a lot of attention come this year's award season.

Anime/Manga of the Year - Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

I know it started in 2023 but it finished this year and I saw it this year. Frieren was amazing. You probably don't need me to tell you that. But I cannot say enough good things about this series starting with my absolute love for something so utterly unique. Fantasy story about the ancient elf mage's journey's after the evil Demon King has fallen. The premise alone is worth attention but the execution is where it excels. I make it a point to not give a lot of 10/10s on my anime lists but this one was an instant classic and the only criticism I can level is the art being a little weak in the manga but the anime picks it up so well. Cannot wait to see more of this come to life. If you still haven't taken the plunge my God what are you waiting for?

TV Show of the Year: Shogun

I mean, "TV show" is kind of an arbitrary category these days but you know what I mean. I didn't really watch a whole lot of domestic content because despite Frieren's massive lead over everything else we had a lot of great anime and the wide world of sports had a lot to offer as well. But I'm glad I got to see Shogun. Based on a novel about one of the first Europeans to arrive in closed-off Japan, this was just such an event all around. The way they used language to really capture how alienated our dear Anjin was excellent and the story was solid all around with some great action.

Meme of the Year: Raygun

Sports were fun this year. The Olympics were not part of that. I kinda wish we could just forget the entire thing happened, especially the absolutely ugly attitude towards Imane Khelif in boxing. Fuckers so desperate for trans women dominating sports they have to make up examples, glad she won in the end. And you know what best sums up my entire attitude towards this Olympiad? This bitch. No disrespect to breakdancing because it's cool as hell but it never should have been an Olympic event to begin with and it was all made a lot worse with this whack-ass white lady my age fudging the criteria for getting a spot and making an utter ass out of herself in front of an international audience.

But if there's some silver lining, in a year where a lot of stories were very charged and nasty...at least this was stupid fun we all agreed was worthy of mockery. Hitting that kangaroo move was always good for a laugh.

[letswrites]

C.L- Never be the same

Masterlist

Synopsis

Playlist

Chapter 1

-----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: airports and dirty dancing

November, 2023

Newark, New Jersey, USA.

She couldn't hate anything more than she hated airport's lounges. Why wait so much to catch a plane? Why do they always say "come 3 hours earlier to check in" if check-ins take less than 3 hours to be done? Stupid airlines. At least she had company: Lando Norris. They were in Newark, New Jersey, he was heading to the United Arab Emirates, she was too, her winter vacation was going to be hot in Dubai that year. Their meeting wasn't an accident, Lando informed her about his stopover in the city next to hers, and she, for some reason, booked her flight to that same airport. They didn't get the same plane, tho. Her flight time was an hour later than his but they had a little time together at that insignificant airport lounge."Seems someone isn't here today" his voice called her. She didn't move from the spot she was staring at "If you are alright blink once. If I must call the ambulance because you got paralyzed don't blink" she tilted her head and turned to him "if I were paralyzed how would I blink?" "Exactly" she chuckled "hey, you are socializing!" "Sorry" she sniffed, "Just wanna get into the plane and sleep like a rock" "if you want to start your adventure now..." he sat closer to her "... My shoulder is all yours" she smiled without showing her teeth, warming his heart, he loved when she was sincere. She hasn't been very sincere lately "thank you, mr. Norris" she stood up and kissed his face "I will hop into the cafeteria first. Want anything?" "what are you having?" "Iced coffee" "how do you intend to sleep if you are taking coffee?" "I am immune to caffeine" "so why drink coffee?" "Tastes good" she shrugged, he laughed "you're very complex person" "I know that" I would like a latte and a doughnut, please" "Which flavor?" "Jelly" "okay, be back in a minute”

…

"Porte quatre, porte quatre..." Pierre mumbled to himself, struggling to find the correct gate, so when he saw Lando, sitting with his headphones in his head, he felt nothing but relief "please tell me this is gate 4" the British man places his headphones on his neck and opened a bright smile "Gate 4 and driver number 4" "Enfin!" Lando chuckled "Are you good, mate?" "I am now" he placed his bag on a chair and tugged in there his passport "Is not easy to find a gate on a foreign country with a Japanese lad hanged on your hair" "Yuki?" "Yeah" "Where is he?" "What do you mean?" the French guy turned around to see his former teammate knelled on the floor, wearing a shoe he probably lost on the way "cette putain de merde..." Lando laughed to the scene of Yuki running with his bags to reach Pierre and the other standing with his hands on the hips, a feet tapping the floor quickly and repeatedly "I told you to stay close to me" "sorry, it was my shoe" "seems like you become a father" "I think so" "it was an accident!" "Why haven't I been invited to the party?" She showed up with a Starbucks cup in one hand and Lando's latte in the other with a bag between two fingers on the other "the party just started" "This is Pierre. She's Daniel's girlfriend's friend" "I thought I was your friend too!" "You are, for now" Pierre turned to her, stretching his arms to a handshake "Hi, nice to meet you" "Salut, plaisir. Comment allez-vous?" "Tu. S'il te plaît. Je suis pas mal. Et toi?" "Bien. Pourquoi t'es pas mal?" "Could be better" he came back to his bag "What happened?" "We got a bit lost" "We?" he stepped to the side "that's Yuki" he smiled like a child and stretched his hand out "nice to meet you" she shook his hand "I would say the same but you just placed your stuff where I was siting so..." he widened his eyes "oh my God! Sorry, I- I will take this out and..." "I am kidding! Is nice to meet you too" "but you were sitting here" "I can stand or sit on the floor. No big deal" "I can't let you..." "She can sit on my lap" Lando said. The trio looked at him "at least you rather sit on my lap, I think you can take the chair, Yuki" Pierre and she laughed "alright" Lando pulled her onto his lap, she giggled "Your doughnut. It only had glazed" "No problems. Thank you! Tell me how much it was so I can pay you back" "No, no. You don't have to" "Come on! I insist" "that's your problem. You don't have to pay me back" "Are you sure?" "Yeah" she could tell Lando was disturbed with that "You buy me something next time" "okay" his face muscles relieved "coffee?" "I am good, sweatheart" "okay" "Doughnut? "Sure! Glazed is my favorite flavor" "And it happened to be the only flavor left, huh?" she giggled "I swear to you" he smiled,  she wrapped her arms around his shoulders as they both carried on listening to the Alpha Tauri's and Alpine's pilots argue like a married couple while shared the doughnout.

…

Charles had his eyes off the phone for less than a second and the first thing he saw was her. She was smiling, laughing of something and the place she was sitting on didn't make him any happy. Nor her behavior with her new "chair". His gaze landed at Lando's hands: one was resting on her soft thigh and the other feeding her with a doughnut. Huh, disgusting thing. The doughnut and the scene which became even more worst when he noticed her fingers running through the McLaren's driver hair, caressing his curls as it was an ordinary thing. 

He couldn't feel less dirty: on his phone screen he had his girlfriend wishing him a good flight along with heart emojis and a warm 'I love you' and even so he was jealous of a person who didn't belong to him but he would give up of tons of things for it to be the opposite. And it got even uglier when he replied Alex with the same warm 'I love you'. Did he really mean that? The truth was he had been exchanging messages with her during the past 6 months. Without having any guts or rights to invite her to do something. He also knew Lando have been stopping by way too much in NYC which made him even more furious.

 "When did this happen?" he questioned himself "When did I become that person?" he continued, before greeting Pierre and Yuki. He knew that he must forget about it, but he couldn't  help but feel annoyed with them acting like that "where's Esteban by the way?" "He left yesterday" Pierre said, quite relieved "Oh! What about Daniel?" "I have no idea" Yuki answered focused on his videogame. She stretched herself "hey, Charles, am I invisible to you now?" "Oh, I wish" he thought "no! I was just about to greet you. Both of you, beautiful couple" he leaned and kissed her face, tapping Lando's back, friendly "we aren't a couple" she defensed herself "sure" he said with a disbelief tone "we really aren't" "I believe you guys" "she is taken already" Lando joked. Charles' heart stopped "With her job, of course" "That's true" Charles exhaled the air he was holding and said "Yeah! Me too. Not with my job, with a girl. A woman..." "we already know that..." Lando continued "yeah, just reaffirming" he talked in a rush, he sounded breathless, like he had ran a marathon, but it was only the anger taking control of his body in the same pace her nails lightly scratched Lando's nape "Charles, are you okay?" "Yeah!" he said almost shouting, out of control "I just had too much Redbull" " "Are you drinking RedBull?!" Lando asked, incredulous"yeah?! I just need to sit a bit" he placed his bag on the floor and sat down. "Hey" Yuki started "hum?" "will you be joining us in Abu Dhabi?" "Not Abu Dhabi, Dubai" "what are you doing in Dubai?" "I decided to take my ass to vacations" "so you are going on vacations and decided to spend your time with 4 guys in an airport lounge?" "I didn't ask for that" they looked at her "I mean, the lounge and waiting part, I like you guys" "why don't you join us at a night out tomorrow?" "What night out?" Lando asked "the one I am inviting you to. Pierre?" "I am there already" he said while ate his peanuts "What about the two of you?" "Well, I heard is close to Abu Dhabi" she grabbed her phone "Oh! Very close. Count on me, I'm a party animal, babe" "if she's joining, I'm in" "Charles?" "Hum… oui! Porquoi pas" Yuki looked at Pierre "Oui is yes, right?" "Yeah" "Great!".

//

Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

Why has he agreed with that? "Terrible idea" he looked himself in the elevator’s mirror, he could tell hundreds of reasons for not accepting. And he couldn't regret more when he saw her walking through the hotel pool, wearing a nice bubblegum-pink top tank blouse and ripped white jeans shorts and a pair of golden glittery flip flops. Her breasts were like perfect and firm pillows. No bra. Nipples were showing under the blouse. Her not too much but still toned thighs looked so squeezable and he prayed, oh he prayed, to not be seen by her. Sometimes it feels like Jesus, Buddha, Ali, Shiva, Dalai Lama, Papa, The Queen of England, Santa Claus, any sanctity, didn't exist cause the first thing she did was to direct her gaze to the bar behind him. Damn! He should have hidden. She smiled and waved, walking towards him. He smiled back and walked into her encounter as well "hey!" "Hi!" she hugged him, she smelled like vanilla ice cream and strawberry lip gloss the one he found at that club's floor in Miami. The one he would adore to taste. Directly from her lips. "you look nice" he let her go against his own wishes. He turned around showing his look, he wore a white shirt and beige shorts with a Lacoste salmon slip on shoe "thanks! You too" "Merci, monsieur" "De rien, mademoiselle" she got weak hearing him speaking French, it hurt more than anything on her core. She smiled, tho, when he offered an arm "Puis-je avoir le plaisir?" she tangled their arms "Sure!" he giggled. They walked to the bar where Pierre, Yuki and Pierre's girlfriend already were "Hey! There you are" "Where's Lando?" she asked, Charles frowned "I'm right here" he appeared from behind her and pulled her for a hug "I'll order some drinks. What do you want?" she thought "Something that tastes like Strawberry "I bet your lips does" Charles thought "Alright. Anything for you" she giggled "Can I join you, Lando?" "Sure, Char".

...

"So? Are you guys dating?" "What?! No. We told you" "Hooking up, then" "Not yet" "Lando" Charles leaned on the bar's counter "Can't you flirt with other girls?" "What?!" "There are so many girls that would like to be in your bed, can't you make them happy?" "Why can't I flirt with the girl I want?" "I don't like when you flirt" "Why not?" "I..." he cleaned his throat "I just don't like it. I know I have zero rights to say something like that but I just dislike it" Lando sighed "It's because of it that you freaked on the airport?" he nodded "Does your girlfriend knows?" "Not a single clue of her existence" "I see" "We are not doing anything but... I don't know. I don't have a clue why I asked you to not flirt with her. Just forget about it!" Lando touched his shoulder "I definetly won't stop flirting with her. At least not while you still have a girlfriend and she's out there single" That's fair" "But if you decide to flirt with her even in your condition... I won't put myself in between tha two of you" "Are you teeling me to..." NO! No, no, no. I ain't telling you to do anything. I'm telling you that I don't have a problem if we both hit on her. If we do, she's the one who should choose, you know? And if she chooses you, I can't do anything about it" Charles nodded "Okay" Lando poked the shouder he had his hand on , then turned to the bartender to grab the drinks leaving Charles with his mind poisoned by his ideas "Give me some help here, bro" "Sure"

…

 That night something happened. Something new for her: she saw a slightly drunk Charles. Maybe tipsy only. But one thing she was sure about: he was a very weak person for alcohol. "Bonsoir, madame 'je suis très ivre pour me souvenir de ton nom'. Comment allez-vous?" "I'm excited, mr. Lord Percival. And you?" he giggled "Moi, j'étais perdu, mais j'ai vous trouvé. Le feu dans ma noirceur" she giggled "You're too sweet" "And you are excited, hein? Why?" "I love a night out every now and then! Don't you love it?" "Ouais... De temps en temps" he stared at nothing. She smiled, he looked so cute when he got lost inside his own head "revenons à la drague..." she gasped "what?!" "Puis-je m'asseoir ici?" "That's your chair, Charles" "Sure... In this case, I'll sit here" she giggled "Ok" "Would you like a drink?" "Already have mine" she lifted her glass "Thanks anyway" "Je vous en prie" he lifted his own drink, sipping it "donc... Avez-vous quelqu'un dans votre vie?" She grinned "I don't. My job only. And you already know that" "Can you please play my game!?... S'il vous plaît?" she smiled "Ok. And you, do you have someone in your life?" "Oui. J'suis pris déjà" "So you can't flirt with me" "But I ain't sure if I'm happy in this relationship" her smile faded away, she frozen and her hands got cold "Anyway, do you have a girlfriend?" He nodded "So you don't flirt with me!" "Ok, ok. Je te drague plus" she sipped her drink "You said you are not sure, huh?" "Eh... I'm but from time to time I don't. We both spend so long apart... Well, that's complicated" "I see" "Anyhow... Would you like to dance?" "Yeah! Let's go" he gave a big sip on his drink "Alright, let's go!". At the dance floor, Charles couldn't be more lost "I never danced reggeaton before" "It's very easy. I teach you" she paused to think "You just have to move your hips like Shakira" she showed him "And rub your body on your dance partner's body" "Like that?" "Yes" he slightly rubbed his hips on her ass, she closed her eyes, feeling her legs shaking "What about now?" "Place your hands on my belly" he did "Like this?" "Exactly. And now we move" they did "Et voilà! We are dancing latin music" "That's nice. You're a good teacher".

...

They danced for 20 minutes "It was funny!" "That's true but I'm very tired. Might call it a night" "okay" he said disappointened. After saying goodbye to Pierre, Kika and Yuki she called herself an Uber "That's sad I can't say goodbye to Lando" "I deliver your message if I find him" "Thanks. You're an angel" but Charles was anything but an angel, he knew exactly where Lando was and made very sure that she wouldn't find him"Voulez-vous que je attends votre voiture avec vous?" she giggled "What?" "You" "Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?" "When you're drunk, you speak french. Formally" "I... I am not that drunk anymore. The dance made me feel better" she smiled "I would love if you waited with me" "Good" They had a silent ride till the hotel lobby. A true walk of the shame. "Sorry for flirting with you" "It's okay. You were just kidding, it's fine" "Yes, but..." she stopped in front of a glass door and he approched her "I wish it wasn't" she blushed "Char, I..." the tension between them could be cut with a knife "I've gotta go. Thanks for the night, have a good rest of it" she leaned up and kissed his cheek "wait" he held her arm. He felt guilty and she felt cheap. What was the worst? He hitting on her? Or she almost bending to it? "I..." "Charles, no" "Please... I'm sorry. So so sorry" "you have nothing to be sorry for" "I do have. I'm taken, I was drunk, had hit on you... I shouldn't have. I'm really sorry" "/ should be the one apologizing. You have a girlfriend, I knew that from the beginning. I don't know what happened, I would never dance like that with someone already taken" he locked his gaze on hers "but danced with me" "yeah..." She looked away "that's exactly why I'm so ashamed of myself". He reflected for a few seconds "Fine. We're both ashamed, both sorry, I accept your apologies, do you accept mine?" "Of course..." he exhaled "that's good" "But..." "Oh, no, no, no. No buts" "We should stay away from each other" "No..." "Yes. I ain't going to be in between your relationship, Charles" he looked to his feet "Charles..." "Hum?" "You know I care about you" "I care about you too. That's exactly why we shouldn't distance from each other" "it's exactly why we should" he sighed "I don't agree with that. I will text you as soon I land in Monaco" "who said I will reply?" he smirked "You will, I know you will. Tu peux pas résister à moi" she blushed "well, I..." He smiled "just keep an eye on your phone" he winked at her "bye, Charles” "Bye…” he waved at her before she opened the door and left. He wanted to walk out the door but his girlfriend's face kept him from doing that. Instead, he tucked his hands in his shorts pockets and made his way back to the elevator, pressing the button without being sure of anything but where he was going to spend the rest of the night: at the bar.

[manysmallhands]

Top Albums of 2024: #9 - 'C, XOXO' by Camila Cabello

After three solo albums of solid Latin pop, C, XOXO represented a distinct about-turn for Camila. While the advance promo was all about her embracing hyperpop, a boast sort of delivered on by the wonderful and frankly deranged lead single “I Luv It”, the truth is often a bit more complicated: roughly half of the ten full length songs here would not have sounded out of place on her earlier records and, even within the more altpop material, some of these songs are more off the wall than others. But what it does feel like is something akin to what U2 tried on Achtung Baby: an attempt to harness a kind of cool that isn’t automatically available for the asking. This was something that she soon found out: the press backlash was often vicious, with reviews taking a “how dare she?!” line full of heavy handed authenticity policing. 

Which is a shame, because for those who actually stopped to listen, C, XOXO has got plenty going for it. Rosalía collaborator El Guincho unites with Jasper Harris (Lil Nas X, Tate McRae) behind the desk and it’s hard not to look at them as a team seeking to balance approaches: El Guincho is most obviously in the ascendency on “I Luv It”, but the likes of gorgeously off-kilter ballad "Chanel No 5" and the snappy, minimalist banger “He Knows” bear his mark too: lowkey, deeply unusual but also bracingly melodic. Elsewhere, one assumes that Harris had the upper hand for the more old style Camila material, such as The Dream referencing summer bop "DREAM-GIRLS" (spot the reference!) and the spectacularly ill timed (tho surprisingly enjoyable) Drake collab "Hot Uptown". 

Camila herself ofc is a key player too, fully in charge as chief songwriter for the first time and truly stepping up on the twitching, soaring "Chanel No 5" and the chatty acoustic melodrama of "Twentysomethings". However, she can sometimes sound a bit stretched - "Dade Country Dreaming" in particular is withdrawn enough musically to leave her verse feeling a little exposed, tho luckily guest stars JT and Yung Miami are on hand to steal the show with terrifically bratty performances. Lyrically she takes a hip hop influenced approach at times, drifting into stream of consciousness flows which mostly sound great but can just occasionally fall a bit flat. Tbh I don’t really mind too much - this is Camila after all, I’m not expecting Shakespeare, and i like the sense of her reaching beyond her grasp - but one wonders if a more collaborative approach might have helped from time to time.

The tendency to hedge bets between the two styles feels telling - commercial concerns doubtless came into play - and also speaks to another slight weakness: both sets of material are largely great but it leaves the album feeling a bit messy and unfocused, something added to by the frequent interludes which bring little of any value. The more unusual songs are also too front loaded, meaning that by the time the second half comes around, the early shock and awe has started to fade a little. But this is fairly minor stuff all things considered: the music on C, XOXO is generally very strong. A flop it might have been but it's clear that she needed fresh thinking and, if she can hold her place in this new lane with a bit more confidence, the Camila Cabello show might have a third act in it yet.