#and by holiday I mean just a change of surroundings and the chance to actually touch some rural grass

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Where is my rich friend who owns a country estate and can invite me on a holiday so I can spend a week writing my thesis and definitely not getting involved in any murder mystery.

[isay]

Chances are that when you think of Australia you tend to think of the beaches, Sydney Opera House, or the red centre and Uluru. Most people by and large tend not to consider that we also have gigantic forests and mountain ranges.

So anyhow, taking advantage of the Chris died for my sins public holiday yesterday, we decided to head out for a drive because Kim has had a hankering to see leaves changing colour with the advent of autumn. We'd planned to head to a place called Jamieson up by Lake Eildon, stopping on the way for lunch at Mansfield, which in winter is the gateway to the snowfields and the skiing at Mount Buller.

Now to get to Jamieson was nice and easy, about a two and a half hour drive on decent enough roads. Not exactly major roads by any means but perfectly capable and comfortable to drive on. But then in Jamieson, with about 120 kms of gas left in the tank we decided to take a 'scenic route' for the return journey.

After forcing Google Maps into choosing a route south along minor roads off we set, oblivious to what lay in wait for us. Essentially a good two and a half hours on unsealed roads, up and down mountains with the traction control freaking out constantly. Both Kim and I are terrible passengers as we both like to have control of the car, but yesterday I got to ride shotgun, which often meant staring off over a sheer drop into a bottomless gorge.

And did I mention the 4x4s that are built to do this that think nothing of roaring along those roads at 60-80km an hour, billowing up clouds of dirt you can't see through? Yeah we came across a few of them too.

Halfway through we also realised that we were likely to run out of gas before making it back to civilisation. Thankfully after about an hour or so and with 60ks of gas left in the tank we made it to a township (pop.30) called Woods Point which showed it had a 'historical gas station'. No actual gas station though.

Thankfully though it has a pub, the Commercial Hotel, which is now my favourite pub in the world. Because it also sells petrol. Just enough to get us back to the 21st century. Off we set again, leaving Brigadoon behind us, grateful that our visit coincided with it's once in a century appearance.

Another hour and a half of time travel through the land that time forgot and we finally hit sealed roads again, much to our palpable relief. Then weaving through some of the most gorgeous driving there is to be had in this world, winding roads surrounded by forest still, and hardly a soul sharing them with us. We finally made it safely home after three and three quarter hours of adventure.

So the moral of this story? There's a reason why Google Maps is sometimes reticent to send you down the road less travelled, and you might want to listen to it. Or you might not, because you'll see things others hardly ever get to, have a grand adventure and you might get to find the best pub in the world.

[shades-of-sapphire]

Live in the now

As she pushed the door open and stepped into the sun-lit, spacious room of the café, she heard her husband taking a deep breath right behind her, inhaling the heavenly smell of coffee and bakery. "God, I missed this," he muttered. 

She took a second to look back and flash him a grin. "As if you don't drink fancy-ass coffee from the fancy-ass machine at your fancy-ass office every single day." 

"Nothing beats this," he gestured at his surroundings. "Stopping by an actual shop to actually enjoy the coffee, rather than just gulping the liquid down as a means to survive." 

"We can go for this kind of trip every once in a while on the weekends, so you don't become a depraved man. Hello," she smiled at the young lady at the register, who was smiling back at her equally brightly. "Could you whip us up two of your frappe specialties, please?" 

"But – " 

"No," she said rather firmly, cutting off her husband's whine. "You said you want to enjoy, so no black and bitter coffee today. That's just a means to survive, and you're not on survival mode today." 

She still let him pick the pastry, though. That was enough to at least stop him from sulking, and by the time they wandered off to a table by the window with their orders, he was already back to his bubbly self. 

He hummed in content as he took his first sip, leaning to the back of his chair. "That's not bad." 

She clacked her tongue, though not unkindly. "You have got to stop questioning my decisions, my darling. Especially when it comes to your happiness." 

That – her exceptional knowledge of his happiness – was also what made her force her husband to take an entire week off. He'd been drowning in his work for the past few months, and she'd noticed that he'd becoming increasingly unhappy and stressed. No drastic change in his behavior, just subtle hints here and there, but she knew him better than he knew himself, so the signs were all but screaming at her to do something about it. She considered a holiday trip for their little family, but being the ever perfectionist planner that he was, she knew a trip, while sounded nice and very well-deserved, would add more stress and to-dos to his list. So she decided that the best thing for him was actually to shut his brain off and focus on the mundane day-to-day things he usually never got to enjoy: making breakfast, dropping off and picking up their daughter from school, grocery shopping, dinner preparation, and of course an impromptu trip to the coffee shop. They were on day two of his leave, and so far he'd been following along with no complaints and lots of hum of content. 

"Alright, you're right," he lifted both of his hands in defeat. "I guess Mom really knows what's best for me." 

She threw him a cocky smirk. He never called her Mom when they're alone before – in front of their daughter, sure, but never when it was just the two of them, and she found that she actually quite liked it. "That I do." 

He took another long sip of his drink and looked out the window. His seat was graced by the morning sunlight, but he didn't seem to mind; rather, he closed his eyes and seemed to be basking happily in the warm rays. It was something he hardly got the chance to enjoy, she thought, the simple sunlight; he was always too busy battling through the rush hour to get to the office in the morning, and almost always came home only when there was no sunlight left. Once again she found herself being grateful for succeeding in strong-arming him to take this long overdue week off. 

"You're staring," he called her out without opening his eyes. 

"I am," she admitted, unabashed. 

His lips curled into a smile. "Enjoying the view, I hope?" 

"Of course. That smile barely paid a visit last week. And the week before." 

His eyes fluttered open, smile faltering off his pretty face. He straightened up on his chair and looked at her squarely. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to abandon you. Or the princess." 

She waved him off before he got the chance to feel even more guilty. "Don't worry about it. We understand. You're doing your best to bring warm food to the table." 

The corner of his mouth turned in a frown. "Sometimes I wonder if all of it is worth it." 

"What do you mean?" 

"The job. We know it pays handsomely, but at what cost? I don't get to see you and the princess as often as I want to. I barely have time for you, and when I do have the time, I don't have the energy to treat you properly. I feel like I'm doing a bad job at this, being a husband and a father, even though that is way more important than my job at the office." 

The word vomit surprised her. Knowing him, she knew he must had kept those things for a while now, and they'd been bothering him for a while too. "Hey." She took one of his hands, squeezed them between both of hers. "Don't do this to yourself. You’re a wonderful husband, and that is coming from me, your wife, who is the only person with the right to judge you as a husband, so it's legit. As for your performance as a father, we should ask our princess about that, but coming from her mother I think you're being a wonderful dad for her, too." 

"Now you're just flattering me." 

"I'm not. You know me, I don't do white lies. And I will definitely call you out if I think you're being a bad husband or father." 

That brought back the smile to his lips – a small one, but enough to replace the frown. "I'll hold on to that." He curled his hand against hers, intertwining their fingers. "Thank you for making me take the week off. It really helps bring me back to earth, to my family – the reason why I'm doing all the work in the first place." 

His smile was always infectious, and she found herself smiling in no time. In front of her, she saw the man who was her husband and the father of their daughter, but she also saw the nervous young man who had asked her father for permission to marry her, and the nervous boy who had asked her out on their first date. It fascinated her, how much he – no, both of them – had grown over the many years they navigated together. 

Her fluffy thoughts was cut off by the sound of her phone ringing. With a sigh, she rummaged through her purse to find the screaming device. Raised an eyebrow at the name of the caller. "It's your assistant." 

He groaned in frustration. "Leave him be. I've prepared him enough to survive without me for a week." 

"But what if it's important? I mean, should be important enough for him to call me after failing to reach you, no?" 

He closed his eyes, as if praying for patience. "Leave him for now. If he calls again, you can pick up. But if he doesn't, don't bother." 

She shrugged. "If you're sure." 

"I am. I'm not going to switch my work notification back on in the middle of my leave." 

They watched the phone rang until it stopped, then waited for a minute. She couldn't help but feel a little relieved when the second call never came. 

So did he, apparently, because he beamed at her. "Now you can shove the thing back to your bag and forget he ever called." 

She laughed and did as he said. Her fingers brushed something that felt a bit foreign in her purse. She pulled it out – and chuckled at the pale green envelope in her hand. "Hey, I was going to tell you about this but then I forgot. The princess showed this to me." 

"What is it?" He took the envelope she was holding out to him, took out the paper inside, and began to read. As he went farther to the bottom of the paper, his eyes became wider and wider. "What is this?" 

"It's from a project at school," she said, still chuckling. "They were asked to write a letter to one of their classmates, and apparently this cute little boy has the cutest crush for our princess." 

"Crush? Honey, he's confessing his undying love for our princess!" 

"Undying love?" she fell into a laughing fit. "Where did that come from?" 

"It literally says here – 'I love you with all my heart, until the day we have to part' – " 

He looked so horrified it made her laugh even more. "Darling, he's six! It doesn't mean anything – although, I have to admit, he has some seriously good rhyming game there. Wonder where he gets it from." 

He didn't seem to listen. "Who is this boy? Can we meet him later today when we pick up the princess? He needs to pass my vibe check first." 

She shook her head, still amused. "No one's taking away our princess, darling. Not yet, anyway. You can calm down for now." 

He huffed, but took a sip of his frappe to calm himself down anyway. "Man, this is hard. Just the thought of some boy loving our sweet princess... I don't think I'll be able to handle it when it's time for me to walk her down the aisle." 

"Hey, slow down, Romeo, no one's marrying anyone soon. You still have about twenty more years to baby her around." 

A slow, sad smile began forming on his lips. "Nah, I don't think so. Maybe not even ten years until she starts protesting and telling me to stop baby her. She'll grow up so fast I won't be able to catch up." 

She covered his hand on the table with hers. "That's a worry for later, alright? We live in the now, and you still have the chance to baby her on her piano lesson this afternoon, so don't freak out just yet." 

"That sounds nice," he muttered. "This is nice, actually. All of this. Fussing over the princess, fussing over cooking meals. Can I just never go back to work and live like this every day?" 

"Now, now," she hummed, "we do still need warm food on the table, so afraid that's not possible." 

: hello, is this Bryan's mom?  : Yes, who am I speaking with?  : this is Cassidy's father. one of Bryan's classmates  : may I talk to your son about a couple of things?  : Sorry, what's this about? Did Bryan do something to Cassidy?  : hi Bryan's mom, this is Cass's mother. I am so sorry about the texts my husband sent earlier  : it's nothing, don't you worry about it! 

[alxiek]

Extended Zodiac and the reasons for my answers. (Warning: Long af)

Lunar Sway

1.Some people on the internet you know are negatively discussing something you hold dear. You could just let it slide, or you could get in there and defend it with your life. How do you respond? D: I jump in and defend the thing, stating why I like it, and why their criticism is wrong. But I won't take it too far. R: Even if I am passionate about my interests it is not worth hurting an other person.

2.You are all set to cook dinner, when you realize you are missing a couple key ingredients from the recipe you're using. What do you do? B: Find a different recipe that you have all the ingredients for. R: No reason doing it if I don't have it all. Plus I am NOT going out or winging it.

3.How do you feel meeting online friends in person for the first time? B: Quite positive. Things are probably going to go fine. R: Super excited but a lingering sense of what if stays in all situations for me.

4.You're having a hard time grasping a topic in a class that everyone else seems to be fine with. You: C: Email the professor or attend their office hours. No point interrupting the class. R: Usually I don't even bother seeking explanation. But if I can convince myself to care I go ask the teacher during lunch.

5.You start taking lessons to learn something you've wanted to for awhile-a language class, art class, bartending lessons, etc-but decide a few weeks in that it definitely isn't your thing. You decide to stick it out, though. Why? B: You spent money and time on this already, you're going to finish it. R: Need I say more?

6.When you're on holiday, do you prefer to leave your itinerary mostly up to chance, or do you plan it out ahead of time? B: You plan out a few key things, but mostly play it by ear. R: By the way the question is formulated I'm guessing they mean a vacation. In that case, Iplan the main things but if something interests me along the way I don't mind a change of plan.

7.A friend of yours and someone you don't know are caught up in a heated argument. They've asked you to help facilitate. You want to support your friend, but after hearing both sides, you actually agree with the stranger. How do you choose who to support? D: You delicately disagree with your friend, while doing everything you can show you still support them. R: I don't want to offend my friend but I can't just lie about how I think in this situation.

8.You have a very important message to write, over email, or some other text communication method. It's a sensitive matter, difficult to compose. Possibly of an emotional or confrontational nature. When you're done writing, you're about to hit the SEND button. What next? B: Not just yet. You give it one more read, maybe change a couple things, then send away. R: I've already thought about it while writting. The re-read is to make sure I did not make any gramatical mistakes and maybe rephrase somethings.

PROSPIT

Aspect

1.Think about your life as if it's a story, and you're the main protagonist. Do you tend to view yourself as lone hero, who along the way meets other supporting characters, who only have a tangential relation to your personal journey? Or do you view yourself as just one hero in an ever-shifting ensemble of important protagonists? C: Either one. Can't say for sure. R: Depends on the times. Sometimes I hang with people some other I'm by myself.

2.When you want to help people accomplish something, and they don't know what they're doing, are you inclined to show them how to do it? Or are you inclined to make them feel motivated or inspired to do it? B: Lean toward showing them. R:I show how and add encouragements here and there.

3.When you are learning about a new subject, or reading a fascinating story, do you feel a strong desire to know everything about it, and have all your questions answered? Or are you more compelled or inspired by the feelings of mystery surrounding not knowing everything? B: I'm very curious, drawn toward knowing. R: I want to know all I can but won't lose my mind for it. Plus, my interests change pretty often. shrug

4.When you hear someone explaining something to someone else, in a way that is questionable, or in a way that makes you suspect they don't fully understand the subject they are explaining, are you more inclined to: teach them everything you know about the subject, to set the record straight? Or just cast doubt on the misinformation, without offering much in the way of correction? C: I'd probably stay out of it. R: The way they phrase it they mean strangers and I don't talk to strangers unless I have to.

5.If you could choose one ability, which would it be? The ability to travel to any period in history on Earth at will, past or future? Or the ability to safely travel (such as, on a nice ship) anywhere in the universe at will, instantly? C: Too hard to choose. R: Both are so cool! How am I supposed to pick only one??

6.If you are working on a project (something you're doing for yourself, not for anyone else), are you obsessively focused on the end result of the project? Or are you enjoying the process, regardless of how it turns out? C: Result and process about equally important. R: Iwant it to look good but if the process is too difficult it sucks.

7.Which option best describes what's more important to you? Understanding yourself, and fully knowing who you are? Or thinking rationally, and making strong decisions? B: Leaning toward understanding myself. R: Knowing myself means making the best decisions for me. Clear headed thought process is important.

8.What idea is more interesting to you? The ability to fully understand your potential as a person? Or the ability to fully understand all potential consequences of your actions before taking them? C: Both equally desirable. R:Hello? Both are important and affect one an other.

9.Which better describes your attitude? Having great conviction in certain beliefs or ideas you're attracted to? Or casting strong doubt on beliefs or ideas you dislike? B: A little more attracted to having conviction in beliefs I like. R:I prefer to speak about things I believe in but I have strong opinions on what I dislike. I just don't tend to speak up on the things I have a negative feeling on brcause it's safer that way.

10.When circumstances are intolerably bad, which are you more inclined to do? Come up with the best alternatives or solutions, and work as hard as you can to make those happen instead? Or don't worry about a better alternative, burn it all down, and whatever follows, you'll just deal with it as it comes? B: Inclined to have a solution first, but not absolutely. R: I want to make it work out but if I feel pushed into a corner I want the f out.

11.If you see someone suffering, are you most inclined to do whatever you can to help them get better? Or is your instinct to relate to their suffering, to empathize, without necessarily considering how you can help? B: I'll focus mostly on helping, but won't be able to stop myself from relating to the problem somewhat. R: Based on my reaction to recent events. I helped first with some empathy here and there.

12.When someone suffers misfortune so terrible that you know there is nothing anyone can do for them, are you most inclined to: feel horrible that nothing can be done? Or feel resigned to the sense that this is the way of the world, and some things just can't be helped? D: Likely would feel somewhat resigned right away. Might briefly consider how to help, but… no. It's not realistic. R: It's awful but you can't save them all and putting yourself at risk ends with double the shittyness.

HOPE

[fuckyeahstylesp]

what's new?

What isn't?

I have so much shit to say but no words to quite fully express the emotions behind it. I do feel like writing it down will help. I keep doing this thing where I try to avoid feeling any emotion and I'm usually good at it. But lately? not so much.

I used to act real tough and hard about how I'd never get this way over anyone, but things change as you actually experience them. I guess I'll start by saying that the shame and guilt I have from being exactly the person I told myself I'd never become has overtaken me. When I'd see my mom react in certain ways, I promised myself that if I ever became a parent - I'd never be like her. Yet here I am. Allowing my own feelings consume me to a point where I feel boxed in.

I used to want to grab my mom's shoulders and shake her vigorously and scream "THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO THE WORLD THEN WHAT'S IN FRONT OF YOU", but my internal screams were muffled by the anxiety of actually causing her more emotional pain then what she was already self-inflicting on herself.

I guess my sense of justice is warped. I hate feeling like people owe me something just because I took it upon myself to put them before my own wants, needs, and goals. How can I be mad at others for choosing theirselves? I mean isn't that the normal human thing to do? I often wonder if I am indeed surrounded by extremely selfish people, or if my sense of selflessness is too much. Either way I'm taking a step back from it all.

A valuable lesson I've taken from this is that, I am only responsible for the actions of myself, and I cannot control how others react.

Beyond this, I realized I need to get back in therapy. I can't pretend for much longer that my life isn't hanging on by a thread, with depression rearing its ugly head around the corner at every moment of despair. I am mostly doing this "living thing" for my daughters. They deserve a healthy and happy mother. Something I yearned for. Family means and meant so much to me, so the lack of holiday celebration has cut deep. The lack of celebrating my birthday hurt me.

I guess when the time is right, I will try to begin my own traditions with my two daughters.

What happened this weekend changed me. I don't think I'll ever be myself again. My body tells one story, and the way my mental is forever fractured is heartbreaking. Tears well in my eyes as I type this.

In due time I will heal from this, it's the only chance I have in creating a better future for my daughters and I. It's either fight like hell to keep pushing or let these lowly thoughts consume me. I know I'm capable of so much more. I want to live to see my daughters grow up. I want to carry this hope so that one day I'll want to live for myself as well.

Anyway, the mental fatigue is kicking in. Even though there's so much more I'd hope to say, I must end it here. I'll try to write more often.

[anonymousfiction211]

Run!

(Gif source: @lokihiddleston​)

Request: Loki with a predator/prey kink. One night, when he is having dinner with his wife, he shots her a glare with that look in his eyes and a devilish smirk on his lips. He gently tells her to run. As she’s sprinting down the halls, he’s tricking her by doubling himself. She soons learns his little game. By now whe’s running in a more open area, she sees him and thinks it’s just one of his clones. She doesn’t pay much attention to him and runs by him, rather cloos. But oops, it’s actually him this time and she’s pretty much screwed, because he pins her to the floor.

Words: 2.705 words

Warnings: Dominant Loki, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, sex (18+)

Run! The last week was a bit of a slur. It was filled with engagements, Loki had to attend, meaning that you had to attend also. Royal engagements never were fun, mostly tedious and boring. But there was something about this week, that had made them even more unbearable. Even your husband - who always knew a way to make things interesting, often not for the good of his royal status, had no tricks up his sleeve this time. You were a little disappointed by that. The days all consisted of polite small talk, political talk, and food. Lots of it. To make matters worse, no alcohol. Due to some religious holiday of the visiting royal family, who couldn't drink this week, Odin had decided as a sign of good will to not serve any alcohol. You got the political motivation behind his reasoning, but had cursed him several times that week in your head.  

The guests had finally left and you were now enjoying a quiet meal with your husband. Unfortunately, it was not a comfortable silence the two of you had fallen in. Both of you were still in an awful mood from the whole week. Literally nothing interesting had happened, that you could discuss. Of course, there were a lot of other topics the two of you could talk about. But for some reason both of you had decided to endure your meal in silence, waiting for this week to end. You were absently minded playing with your food. Not paying attention to your surroundings. You were looking around when your eyes locked with Loki’s. His green eyes sparked trouble, and knowing the devilish smirk that was plastered on his face, trouble was sure to follow.  

You stared at him, waiting for something to happen. But what happened, was not wat you expected. Loki sat up straight, he looked taller that way. His facial expression changed from trouble to regal, he clearly felt like he was in charge at the moment. And what followed was him leaning a bit closer towards you and he gently tells you ‘Run’.

‘What?’ you asked.  

‘Run’ he repeated again in the same gentle voice. ‘You have 10 seconds’ he added.

You abruptly stood up. You still looked into his eyes. His eyes which were saying I dare you to defy me. The adrenaline was starting to pump through your veins. Your breathing was already increasing and the thrill was starting to take control of you. Loki watched you intently, and that's when he said ‘5’

That was the moment you ran towards the door, quickly running through, and slamming it shut behind you. Hoping it would buy you more time, before Loki caught you. Because you both knew, you could run all you like, but there was a moment coming that he would catch you. How long it would take and what Loki would do if he did finally catch you, you didn't know. You quickly sprinted down the hall, reached the staircase and started to descend. Loki knew the palace and every little shortcut like the back of his hand. Your best chance was to remove yourself and him from palace grounds.  

When you were downstairs you had a choice to make. You could run to the left or to the right. Either way was leading towards the gardens, so it didn't really matter. But you still hesitated. You turned left, but then Loki walked around the corner. He was standing at the end of the hallway with a wolfish look on his face, that made the adrenaline run faster through you. You turned around and quickly run the other way. When you were almost at the door that would lead you to the gardens, you saw Loki suddenly appear in front of you.

The two of you were standing a few meters apart from each other. Your eyes locked in a staring contest. But that's when you realized, that this wasn't really Loki. If he had teleported, there would be a green glow, but there wasn't. Meaning that the Loki standing in front of you, was one of his doubles. You could go through them. You gave him a wink and sprinted towards him. You jumped at him and indeed went through. You slid the door to the side and entered the gardens.  

You ran as quick as you could through them, ignoring Loki's who were popping up right and left from you. You knew they weren't real. One appeared in front of you, but you just went through like the others. Suddenly you bumped into the back of a guard. He turned around and annoyingly looked at you. You saw from his face that he was about the scold you, but he didn't get to start because a green glow appeared behind you. Loki was standing at a distance. And you knew that he was real this time. The guard looked at it, bowed to the both of you and slowly backed away. Everyone knew better by now than to interrupt Loki in his games, especially his games that involved you.  

Before Loki could take a step towards you, you ran past the guard. ‘Sorry’ you yelled at them, and then you were gone. You didn't see Loki behind you for a while, but knew he was nearby. You ran towards the horse box, that way you could see him coming from either side of you. When you were almost there, you looked behind you and saw Loki in the far distance trying to catch up. Turning your head, you suddenly saw two Loki's in front of you. You didn't expect that, but knew better than to fall for his tricks. Of course, he would try to make you run the other way, towards him instead of away. You ran towards the Loki on the left in front of you and went through, like you expected.

But suddenly two arms grabbed you from the right and forced you to a halt. You squeaked out of shock and your eyes widened when you realised that Loki had caught you. How he had pulled this trick of you didn't know, but you did know by the look of he gave you, you were in trouble.  

‘So, the cat finally catches the little squeaking mouse’ he laughed.

Before you could response, he swept your feet. You fell backwards and landed, with a lot less impact than you were predicting, with your back on the ground. Loki was on top of you and pinned you down with his weight. You struggled underneath him, but he grabbed your wrists with one hand and put them above your head.

‘You can struggle all you want, but that won't stop me from having my way with you’ he growled in your ear.  

You were completely out of breath from all the running, and didn't have much strength left to struggle. Loki let you struggle for a few seconds, before he pinned your wrists down with his magic, leaving him with two free hands. Without saying a word, he grabbed the deep V-neck of your dress and tore it in half. You weren't wearing anything underneath and lay completely bare for him.  

‘Loki’ you panted. ‘We can't do this here!’  

He stopped and looked at you. The smirk on his face was back, the one that screamed trouble, and you knew now in how much trouble you were in. ‘Why not?’ he innocently asked. As if the two of you were in your private bedroom.

‘Someone will see’ you breathing had slowed down a bit. You didn’t struggle anymore, because it was futile. The cold air hit your body and you started to shiver a little. Your nipples hardened and you saw Loki licking his lips, as if you were a feast and he had been starving all week.

‘Then you shouldn't have let yourself get caught here’ he countered, as if it were your own choice.

Before you could protest any further, Loki kissed you deeply. Without asking for permission, he grabbed your hair and pulled on it. When you hissed his slid his tongue inside your mouth and started to explore every inch. When he broke of the kiss you were, again, out of breath. He started to kiss your necks and leave little bite marks. His hands were descending from your hair to your breasts. Your nipples were already hard, cause of the cold. But Loki started to play with them, taking each of your nipples between his thumb and index finger, slowly starting to roll and squeeze. Making them harder.  

He went on until you were softly moaning. ‘Still don't want to do it here?’ he smirked at you.  

‘I- what if someone sees?’ you asked. Loki just shrugged his shoulders and started to kiss lower towards your breasts. He took one nipple in his mouth. His warm tongue swirling around it, made you arch your back. While he kept his tongue working on your nipples, his hands went lower. He grabbed both of your thighs and spread you as wide as you could. He stopped and sat on his knees between your legs. He pulled the lips of your pussy slightly apart, exposing your wet hole and throbbing clit.  

He put his thumb on your clit and slowly started to circle it. That was the moment you were completely gone. You were now moaning shamelessly and bucking your hips to create more friction. Loki put his other arm on your stomach and pushed you down. His thumb was still working your clit and he put his mouth closer. You could feel his hot breath on your pussy.  

‘If someone sees us, they will see you, laying here so beautifully submissive. My good girl, letting me play with here as I like’

His thumb was removed, and replaced by his tongue. He licked up and down your entire length a few times, before starting to focus on your clit. After a few seconds he removed his tongue and replaced with his thumb again. He kept repeating this action, while he was whispering dirty things to you.

‘If you some sees us, I will not stop. I will keep going until you come moaning my name’

‘After that I will take you how I like. They will watch how you are fucked by me and can do nothing about it’

‘How you will come repeatedly on my cock from the pleasure only I can bring you’

You came hard on his tongue, almost screaming his name. Loki worked you through your orgasm. He got back up and the bonds on your wrists suddenly vanished. You immediately put your hands around his back and realised he was still fully clothed. You frowned at him and he just winked at you.

‘Am I wrong to say that you wouldn't enjoy it? Getting fucked by me, while some stranger watches us’ he grinned. The slight blush on your cheek betrayed you.  

Loki suddenly turned your around. You caught yourself on your hands and knees. He grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you down towards the ground. You heard his zipper open and knew what was about the come. You wiggled your bum a little in anticipation. Without warning Loki suddenly spanked you heard. You jolted forwards, hissing.  

‘Such a needy slut for me’ he growled.

He grabbed your hips with both hands, squeezing hard enough to leave bruises. He entered your slick entrance in one motion. He didn't give you any time to adjust, he started to rut in and out of you. You clenched your hands in the ground, while you felt his cock hitting your G-spot with precision every time he went into you. You were unable to do more than lay there and take it. Moaning so hard, that if someone was nearby, they would sure come looking. Loki was starting to grunt and you knew he was close. Suddenly you saw a light from afar, quickly approaching.  

‘Well, I suggest you come and make milk me for all I have. Unless you want that guard to watch me fuck you’ Loki purred in your ear.

He went on with his animalistic thrusts. The light was getting closer, but you didn't care. You felt his fingers snake to your clit and started to abuse your clit as they liked. Even though it was far too sensitive for any stimulation, you were loving every second. You came hard screaming his name, you walls clenched down on his cock. You heard Loki grunt loudly and his hot seed was spilling inside of you. When he got down from his bliss, he slipped out of you. He quickly flicked his wrist, cleaning the both of you. He grabbed his cock, put it back in his pants and pulled the zipper upwards.  

You slowly stood up, while Loki helped you. You had a little trouble to stand, your head snapped up to the light, which was very nearby.

‘Loki, clothes’ you hissed at him.  

You could see the shim of a horse, and the guard sitting on top of it holding a torch near his face. Suddenly a green shimmer engulfed you. You looked down and saw that Loki had dressed you in his coat, but only his coat. It just about covered you, and still exposed your legs which were covered in dirt. Everyone would know what happened if they only took one look at you.

‘Loki’ you hissed, but he just kissed the top of your temple.

The guard slowed his pace, once he recognized you and Loki. He assessed the situation, his eyes went to your legs and flicked towards Loki. Loki was just smirking proudly, while pulling you closer towards you. Your cheeks heated up, because everyone knew that the guard knew what just happened. To make matters even worse, it was the same guard you encountered in the gardens.

‘Sorry to disturb you. I just saw movement and had to check it out’ the guard said after clearing his throat.

‘Just doing your job’ Loki answered. ‘We were just going back to our room anyway’ he added.

‘Right’ the guard nodded and turned his horse around. And you were thankfully he was about the leave. But that is when you heard Loki's voice again.

‘Actually, my love has a little trouble walking I imagine. Would you be so kind to lend us your horse, so we can ride back?’ his voice betrayed that he was punishing the guard at the moment.

The guard turned around again, and didn't look at all happy with the request. You understood why, he was the one that had to walk all the way back. ‘Of course, your majesty’ the guard said through gritted teeth.

He emerged from his horse and handed Loki the reins. He bowed and started to walk towards the castle again.  

‘Why didn't you just teleport us back and let the guard keep his horse?’ you asked, when Loki had helped you up on the horse.

He got on as well and put the horse in a trot. You were comfortably laying back on his chest. Loki put one arm around your waist and held you tightly against him, while he used his other one the steer the horse.

‘If I hadn't shown up, he was going to scold you in those gardens. He deserves to walk back’ he said.

‘You know you're in trouble with your father after he hears the guard tell him what happened, he is probably walking straight towards him’

Loki just laughed ‘I know, but I will be too busy fucking you in the bath’ he said while kissing your temple.  

'While breaking your promise that you would behave yourself during this week’ you added.

‘He! I promised to be on my best behaviour as long as the guests were here, no tricks. And for once I actually did that, but they left. And I think we can all agree that me behaving leads to very boring events’ he said feigning offence.

‘Can't argue with you there’ you mused and were already daydreaming about all the ways Loki would take you tonight.  

Taglist: @delightfulheartdream @theaudacitytowrite @pescadoavocado @theestorm @taurusbeing​ @justacripple​

Let me know if you want to be added :)

[nycbabyjoey]

A Baby in Toyland

NSFW 18+ Only

Contains ABDL Content

Cynthia tore through the collection of dumb, goofy baby dolls that aligned the shelves. So dumb, she thought as she tossed each doll to the side. None of them were the crown jewel that she was looking for.

Princess Uh-Oh! The only baby doll on the market that will have you saying "uh-oh"!

It was the hottest selling toy this Christmas season, although the reason was beyond Cynthia's understanding. What kid would want a doll that pisses and shits itself? These toy companies just want to indoctrinate girls into motherhood while they were still young. Disgusting.

Cynthia's attitude towards dolls had drawn ire from her sister last Christmas when Cynthia got her five-year old niece a pocket dictionary instead of any of the baby dolls or bedazzling kits that her niece actually wanted. This Christmas, Cynthia's sister had instructed her to go to Toyland and buy Princess Uh-Oh for her niece.

Cynthia had procrastinated on the task out of protest, and admittedly maybe a dash of laziness, but now it was Christmas Eve and this was her last chance to get the stupid thing and wrap it before morning. Unfortunately, Cynthia had cleared the shelves and it appeared as though Princess Uh-Oh had sold out. Oh well, Cynthia thought. Now I can get her something more stimulating.

"Can I help you find anything?" a voice asked from behind her.

Cynthia jumped. There was a woman stood right behind her, but Cynthia was certain she wasn't there a second ago. Cynthia observed the woman's outfit. Her tits were nearly falling out of her shirt. How unprofessional, Cynthia thought. Why do women feel the need to dress like sluts?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you," the woman said. "I'm Betsy Blonka, the founder and owner of Toyland."

Really? This Whore of Babylon ran the toy store?

"Well no, you don't have what I'm looking for. Besides, all these toys are doing is poisoning the minds of today's youth and I have no interest in them," Cynthia responded before turning to leave. "Also, your outfit is very unprofessional, especially for someone working with children."

Betsy just titled her head and gave a polite smile. "I know the holiday season can be stressful, but I'm happy to help alleviate any anxiety you may have," she said brightly. "Were you looking for Princess Uh-Oh? She's a very hot seller this year."

Cynthia was flustered. The woman had been so kind. She must've been trying to embarrass her and make her look bad. "Y-yes, I was," Cynthia stammered.

"Follow me," Betsy instructed. "We may have some spares in the back."

Cynthia followed "Busty Betsy" through the toy store. She had to admit: the store was quite extensive... and eccentric. Model planes flew through the air, stuffed animals seemed to sing and dance on their own. It was a toylover's dream, but Cynthia's nightmare.

After a fairly long walk, the two approached a door in the back. Betsy unlocked it and prodded Cynthia to take a step inside.

Cynthia was perplexed by what she saw. There were no Princess Uh-Oh dolls back here. There weren't any toys at all; the space was completely empty save for a pink dollhouse on the floor in the middle of the room. Otherwise, they were surrounded by concrete walls. Betsy locked the door behind them.

"What is this?" Cynthia inquired.

"Toys fill us with wonder and activate our imaginations," Betsy said. "It's time you have that spark again."

Suddenly, the dollhouse in the center began to glow. Cynthia looked down and her whole body began to glow the same way.

"What's going on?" Cynthia asked, frightened. "What's happening to m-"

In a flash, everything changed. Cynthia gasped. She had been transported. She was no longer in the cold, concrete backroom of Toyland. She was in a cozy living room with a big old Christmas tree and a toy train making its way around the tracks. Cynthia found herself sitting on the carpeted floor against a teddy bear that was larger than her.

She started to stand, but immediately found herself unable to. Her legs gave way and she instantly landed on her butt, but something cushioned her fall. Cynthia looked down in horror at her lack of clothing. She only saw a pink ribbon around her neck, Mary Janes on her feet, and - most shockingly - the item that had broken her short fall: a puffy, white diaper.

Cynthia jumped again as Betsy leaned towards her, having again been oblivious to her presence. She sat above her in a yellow armchair and wore even less clothing than before.

"Merry Christmas, baby!" Betsy exclaimed. "Welcome to the dreamhouse!"

Cynthia went to shout, but a pacifier blocked her words causing them to come out as dribble on her exposed chest.

"Uh uh uh," Betsy said, plucking out Cynthia's dummy. "Use your words."

"We're in the dollhouse?!" Cynthia asked, exclaimed.

"Yep," Betsy responded nonchalantly. "You're the baby doll and that makes me the Mommy doll."

"This can't be real," Cynthia gasped. "You have to put me back!"

"Nuh-uh," Betsy said, getting up. "Not until you learn to play with your toys like a good girl. Why don't you play with your dolly while Mommy warms up your ba-ba?"

Betsy... er, Mommy threw a Christmas shirt with gingerbread and candy canes over Cynthia's naked chest before leaving the room. "Wait!" Cynthia cried out. She jumped to her feet, but found herself unable to use them again falling face first onto the carpet.

She lifted her head and saw something sat on the floor in front of her. It was a baby doll. One dressed just like her from the blonde hair to the thick diapered bottom. Was she really expected to play with this?

Cynthia grabbed the doll by the arm and started smacking it against the carpeted floor until she threw it against the teddy bear where it bounced delicately onto the floor. "Stupid!" she shouted at it, sticking her tongue out and crossing her arms.

She didn't need the infantile costume to have come off childish. Only a few minutes and she was already having a tantrum like a toddler. But so what? She was frustrated! She couldn't walk, she was stuck in diapers, and now she was being forced to play with the stupid dolls that she hated? She would rather sit on the floor and wait for... Mommy to bring her her ba-ba.

What felt like an hour passed and Cynthia had resorted to babyishly making saliva bubbles with her mouth. She rolled over on her stomach and the dolly reentered her view. She scoffed. She was not a baby and she didn't play with toys!

Suddenly, a repressed memory entered her mind as she looked at the dolly. She was three years old (actually three years old) and she asked Santa for a Holiday Hailey baby doll. She had wanted one so badly. But Santa brought her a jigsaw puzzle instead. She cried all Christmas morning and stopped asking Santa for toys after that year.

She looked at the doll once more. "Holiday Hailey?" It was true. The doll she had thrown had been the baby doll she had asked Santa for all those years ago. She crawled as fast as she could on all fours back to the teddy bear where Hailey laid.

She picked it up and started moving its arms, feeling silly as she did so. She peeked around over he shoulder and spoke under her breath, "Hi Hailey, I'm Cynthia."

The doll remained silent.

"M- Mommy says we should play together," Cynthia shared with a bit more confidence this time. "What should we do?"

No response.

"A Christmas tea party?" Cynthia asked, having heard nothing. "I don't know..."

Cynthia felt ridiculous. The doll wasn't talking to her and she knew that. Had she really succumbed to such boredom that she was willing to humiliate herself by having dinner with a doll? She had to admit, though - talking to the doll made her feel better. Like she wasn't so alone or that there was a friend for her who cared. It gave her the warm, fleeting feeling that she had writing to Santa so many Christmases ago.

"Do you prefer green or Oolong?"

Credit: @daddysdreamydollie

"Ba-ba's ready," Betsy sang, coming back from the kitchen. She stopped in her tracks noticing Cynthia's new setup. Cynthia sat in a tiny chair at a tiny table along with Holiday Hailey and the teddy bear. She held a small toy teapot as she poured pretend tea into Hailey's cup.

"Dere you go, Hailey," Cynthia lisped in between her pacifier. "Would you wike some mo', Mista Beaw?"

"Well, well, well," Betsy said. "Is somebody having fun with her toys?"

Cynthia turned and blushed. She had gotten a bit carried away, but it was so nice to have a night of childlike innocence again.

"Yeth, Mommy," she replied sheepishly.

"That's good," Betsy said. "But it's time to put your toys away and come have your milk."

"Wait," Cynthia said, crawling over from the tea table. "Since I've been a good girl and pwayed with my toys, can I go home now?"

Betsy chuckled. "Oh silly, don't you get it? This is your home now!"

Cynthia's pacifier fell out of her mouth from shock. "But- but- you said if I played with my toys..."

"And you'll have plenty of time to do that," Betsy interrupted. "But I also said you were the baby doll of the dollhouse and... it's Christmas Eve. We've already sold the dollhouse as a Christmas gift to a young girl. You're going to be her doll, of course!"

"You're going to be that impetus of childlike wonder for a lucky little girl that Hailey is for you," she continued. "You'll be the one to light up the magic in that little girl's life this Christmas. And she'll take care of you - give you your ba-ba, change your clothes, and especially change your messy diapers. You'll be the new Princess Uh-Oh!"

"And it looks like someone has already earned her title," Betsy snickered. "Let Mommy get you changed and you can change Hailey's own stinky diaper while you lay on the changing table. You haven't noticed? You just made your own little uh-oh in your pants, little missy."

It's a wonderful toy! It's Patreon!

[violet-knox]

1 I would love to request a story for you if it´s still fine to do it, my request is a smut story with a quiet virgin female reader who is popular with opposite gender mostly because of her attractive physical appareance and for that when she confess that she have a romantic interested in him. He thinks is a lie or a joke to hurt him somehow but when she insist that her feelings are honest and she is willing to do anything.

Beauty’s Curse

Pairing: Young!Snape x Half-Veela!Reader

Summary: As Valentine’s day quickly approaches, you find yourself surrounded by more and more people asking to be yours, but you have your eye on someone else.

Warnings: (SPOILERS) Spiked drink, manipulation

Word Count: 6679

A/N: To be honest, I was a bit hesitant with this request because I knew it would be a rather big challenge. I didn’t want to write anything superficial or cliche, but I thought this would be a great opportunity to break the stereotype of “that pretty mean girl” and show that no one should be judged on their looks, even those who are considered attractive. 

I took inspiration from a situation I found myself in more or less recently, so please do read the warnings before reading this even though they are crossed out unless you really don’t want spoilers. 

Nearly six years had passed and the comments from your peers had never once eased. Valentine’s day had become your least favourite holiday from the never-ending line of people asking you to be their Valentine, each year worse than the last as your popularity increased. You knew it wasn’t their fault, not entirely. You were half Veela after all, something you never dare tell a soul. Rumours went around in your fourth year when you hit puberty, an invisible glow seeming to surround you as you walked down the hall, heads turning as they ogled you in amazement. ‘It was a gift’ your mother would always tell you, but you could never see it that way, especially after you’d agreed to go out with that boy a few years above you last year, finding out his charm only extended so far until his true colours showed. Since then, you’d done everything you could to contain your influence over those who yearned for you, knowing you’d never know true love if the man you ended up with only did so from his inability to resist you. 

You wanted to know what love really felt like, real love not the admiration the Slytherin boys chatting you up now were showing. It irked you how they’d suddenly surrounded you like this, three of them, all taller than you, all of whom were doing their best to impress you. One spoke of his father’s status at the Ministry of Magic, offering to take you anywhere you liked on Valentine’s day. Another tried to persuade you with the offer of visiting his mother’s shop in Westminster; the most luxurious dress shop in all of London he claimed, anything you wanted his mother could have you fitted for. The last boy had the nerve to try and hand over a necklace with the most amount of diamonds you’d ever seen, saying he’d offer you anything you liked if you agreed to be his Valentine. You had to hold yourself back from rolling your eyes, the necklace barely managing to snap your attention back to them as your eyes instead wandered to the end of the hall where you saw another Slytherin sitting on the ledge of a window with his nose in a book. 

You could still remember back when that was you sitting alone somewhere in the castle in your first year, everyone passing you by like you didn’t exist, your own nose shoved in the tenth book you’d been reading that week. Of course, that part never changed, you were a proud bookworm, one who’d much rather spend the evening diving into the pages of a good book than surrounded by people gawking at you. The only difference now was it was much harder to find a place where you’d be uninterrupted, but you always found a way, a small corner in this giant castle to call your own and escape the real world if not for a short moment. 

“Sorry, but I can’t be any of your Valentines.” You spewed a quick apology to the Slytherin’s and pushed passed them, only to watch the boy you’d been intrigued by slam his book shut and dramatically swift away down the stairs. 

He’d seen enough, the necklace turning his stomach into knots as he thought about the stupid bet they made before walking over to you, how they each thought they could buy you over with some luxury he could never afford to have. They didn’t even acknowledge his presence as they spoke, didn’t even bother to notice he’d hung back, that he stood by to watch them get rejected by the person who’d been known to reject everyone since first year. You seemed so kind and of course, it probably helped that you were a Hufflepuff, helped your ruse of being everyone’s friend, but he saw through you. He was the only one that did just as he was the only one to see through Potter. Everyone who was popular with the entire school had a dark side, he knew it, even if he hadn’t seen yours. 

“Severus!” He turned around in surprise as he heard his name called out, unable to recognize the voice. His expression immediately turned sour when he realized it was you who’d run after him, calling his name to get his attention. He turned around and began walking away, one hand holding his books tightly as the other formed a tight fist. “Severus, wait!”

You were almost surprised to see someone so bluntly ignore you, shun you like you were nothing and you knew it was an act of dislike towards you, the way he looked at you making it very clear he did not want to speak with you. Yet you couldn’t help but yearn over him all the more. The only person in the entire school that seemed to see you as just another student, the only person who didn’t look at you like you’d blessed the very ground you walked on and he wouldn’t even give you a moment to speak.

“Severus,” you tried again, finally catching up to him as you placed your hand over his shoulder, Severus nearly twisting your wrist as he spun around, acting like your hand had burned the spot where you’d touched him. “I was just wondering, if you’d perhaps like to go out sometime?”

“What?” Severus rose his brow, wondering if he’d heard you correctly. It almost sounded as if you were asking him out, you, the person everyone in his life compared to perfection, the beauty of an angel, kindness comparable to no one else’s. You who’d chatted with the entire school, made friends with everyone, enemies with no one, would choose him?

“It-it doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be. But I just thought, well I thought it would be nice to have a chat with you some time,” you said, feeling the heat rise to your face as you tried to ease the tension. Severus' expression only darkened with annoyance as his suspicion of you grew. 

“Did Avery put you up to this? Nott? Or Potter?” he blurted out. He couldn’t believe you thought he’d fall for such an obvious ruse. That he’d be desperate enough to accept your deceptive invitation, and when he found out who it was that plotted this interaction, he was going to make sure they never tried something like this again.

“N-no! Why would you say that?” You looked at him with shock, your heart sinking as you felt yourself nearly knock yourself over as you hit that defensive wall he had built around himself. You knew he wasn’t exactly liked by the other students, that he had a much tougher time than he deserved, but you’d never imagined him reacting like this when you finally built up the courage to ask him out. 

“I’m not falling for this,” Severus shook his head as he dismissed your advancements. He turned around and resumed walking down the stairs, leaving you to your own failure though he wasn’t surprised to see you running after him.

“Severus wait!”

“Tell whoever sent you to piss off!” He brushed you off without stopping. Reaching the ground floor, he continued to walk towards the Entrance Hall without so much as glancing your way.

“Severus no one sent me, I swear,” you tried to make him see reason, to show him you were being genuine, but as he spun back around, his hair turning dramatically with him as his strands quickly settled back into place, framing the annoyed look on his face, you could tell he wasn’t willing to let his guard down for even a moment and consider your intentions to be pure. 

“Really? Then why?” His words came out more as demands rather than a question, but you wouldn’t let it scare you away. You didn’t want to give up the one chance you had at a genuine relationship with someone who saw you as more than just a pretty face. 

“Why what?”

“Why in Merlin’s name would you ask me out when you already have the entire school ready to put their heads on the chopping block just for a moment with you?” His tone made you wonder if he was asking the question out of curiosity for your answer or if he’d already made up his mind, that no matter what you said he wouldn’t believe you anyways. You had half a mind to walk away, telling yourself you deserved better, but this was what you wanted wasn’t it? Not to be run after, try to be bought over in some way? You wanted someone to go out with you and love you for who you were, to resist the natural attraction of your Veela DNA.

“Because you’re brilliant and love to read. Because you aren’t like everyone else. Because you make me feel normal.” You poured your heart out to Severus only to have him scoff in your face, rolling his eyes, clearly finding your words less than truthful. You’d never admit it of course, but you did, in a way, lie. You’d admired him for so long now. All you saw was his good sides, but you couldn’t bring yourself to admit such a thing. “Please, Severus, give me a chance.”

Severus stared at you a moment, surprising himself as he actually debated your plea. He wanted nothing more than to believe you, to believe someone would be interested in him in the way you claimed. But it was you. How could he believe the most wanted person in the entire school would choose the most hated? He wanted to get the truth out of you, to embarrass you when you admitted to your real intentions and perhaps that’s exactly what he should do. Perhaps he could get you to blurt out the name of the imbecile that would soon regret trying to mess with him like this.

“Fine. There’s a Hogsmeade trip this weekend. I suppose I can spare a few hours with you.” He agreed to your invitation as he made plans of his own, immediately setting off to the dungeons when you smiled and nodded. You looked almost relieved that he’d finally accepted, almost like you had some other agenda and of course, he’d find out one way or the other. He was tired of the harassment, the humiliation from everyone in this school, tainting it with their insolence and stupidity. This was his home, the one place in the entire world where he could belong, and he wouldn’t let anyone push him around any longer. 

This was the last straw. He was going to make an example out of you and whoever it was pulling your strings. He’d make the entire school regret making him out as a punishing bag, a joke for everyone to laugh at. What more could he lose? His best friend had already abandoned him, his Slytherin peers eager to do the same, only ever defending him out of obligation for their own house. He had no one, nothing to care for except his own reputation. He’d come to Hogwarts wanting to make something of himself, to build himself a future better suited for a Prince than a Snape and that’s what he was going to do one way or the other. 

He made his way to his dorm first, retrieving the stash of potion ingredients he hid under his bed and cross referenced what he needed from the notes he’d taken in the back of his Advanced Potion Making textbook. He had nearly everything he needed, but he knew he could get the rest from the potion’s cupboard before Potion’s class today. It would take some time to brew and he’d probably have to stay up tonight, but he knew he could finish it just in time for his ‘date’ with you. 

 You’d spent all week excited for the weekend. Every day you woke up with a smile until finally the day of the Hogsmeade trip arrived. You were the first to wake, preparing for the day as your nerves grew, your friends questioning why you seemed so happy all of a sudden, but you brushed them all off. You didn’t want anything to ruin this day, knowing they’d laugh if you told them you were going out with Severus. You just wanted to enjoy your date, to be left alone and show Severus there was someone in this school who would love nothing more than to spend every second of the day with him. 

Naturally you’d show up early and of course you were prepared. You sat at a nearby bench with your nose in a book as you usually were when you were alone and despite the crowd that grew with every second that past, Severus had no trouble finding you, rather surprised you weren’t surrounded by people all laughing, waiting to see what would come of your plan to humiliate him today. You were reading Magical Theory, one of the most boring books he’d found in all of Hogwarts’ library, yet there you were, enticed by every word, flipping the pages like you couldn’t go another second without reading. 

“H-hello,” he said, startling you as you shot your attention up from your book to him. He felt his heart racing, his nerves escalating like this was a real date. But it wasn’t, it couldn’t be. He was here for one reason and one reason only; the truth. He shouldn’t be feeling guilty for something he had yet to do, but he did. A sliver of him didn’t want to hurt you, instead hoping that this was real, that you were here because you were genuinely interested in him, but he knew better. How could someone as popular, as liked and as beautiful as you be interested in him?

“Severus, I’m glad you showed.” You gave him the widest smile he’d ever seen anyone give him as you closed your book and stood up.

“I said I would didn’t I?” Severus rose a brow at you, taken back by the enthusiasm in your tone. 

“Yes, but you seemed reluctant the other day.” Truth be told, you half expected to spend the day alone in absolute despair trying to distract yourself in that book as you pretended like you weren’t hurt from being stood up. But he came and he seemed much less defensive than before. 

“Shall we?” He gestured to the group of students making their way down to Hogsmeade. You nodded your head and happily joined him as you walked side by side amongst the crowd. Severus was already suspicious of you and your intentions knowing if he was alone, he would have been called ‘Snivellus’ at least once by now. He felt shielded around you, like no one could touch him and for a moment, he was relieved to feel normal for once. 

“I loved your presentation in Defense last week,” you commented, hoping some light conversation would help ease the mood before you found a place to settle for the day. Severus glared at you in surprise, wondering if you were trying to butter him up or if you had actually paid attention during class unlike the rest of his useless classmates.

“Really? What did you like about it?” Severus questioned your honesty, wondering if he could catch you in a lie before your ‘date’ even started.

“I love how in-depth your research was on cursed objects and your theory of their origin was intriguing,” you said with a smile, holding back your enthusiasm in fear of scaring him away. But you couldn’t help it, you admired Severus and how brilliant he was. You felt the heat rise to your face as you thought about the first time you saw him with his nose in a book, the first time you’d ever found yourself pulled away from your own book. “I noticed you like to hang around the Defense section of the library, is it your favourite subject?”

“You’ve been spying on me?” Your question had the opposite effect that you wanted as you saw his wall rebuild itself around him thicker than before. But you’d never give up knocking and asking him to let you in, to give you a chance and show him he could trust you. 

“N-no, I like to hide in the library at times and I just noticed you were a regular as well,” you said, but you could tell Severus wasn’t convinced. He could almost see the crack in your claims, trying to cover them with some made up weak lie. 

“Why have I never seen you in the library?” The interrogation continued, Severus seeing his victory in his line of sight. He had you cornered and was ready to end the day now when you admitted your true intentions. A smirk began to grow on his face as he thought of the victory at the end of his fingertips. He could almost see the horrific look on the face of whoever is to blame for this day. 

“Pince lets me sit on the second floor overlooking the library, it’s only meant for staff, but she noticed my inability to have a moment to myself and rescued me one day from another mob of people looking to make conversation with me.” 

“That’s kind of her,” he said, gritting his teeth as you slipped away from him, freeing yourself from his near grasp. His lips stretched into a frown as his revenge faded away. The longer he spoke with you the more his hope that this was real grew. You surprised him with your lack of self-absorbent qualities and your interest in what the Hogwarts library had to offer. He never imagined having so much in common with someone with your popularity, always assuming you’d be a lot more like Potter than himself. 

He looked over at you as you nodded, your smile enriching the twinkle in your eye as you gleamed at him with joy. You were so happy to speak with him, to have a casual and light conversation, to share things with him you’d never shared with anyone before. It felt good to open up a bit, to show that other side of you that stayed hidden away when you spoke to your friends or classmates. It was almost freeing, and you only hoped with time, Severus could feel the same with you.

“So, where should we go?” You asked, unsure of what his favourite places at Hogsmeade was. He didn’t seem the type to enjoy a trip to Honeydukes and you knew he didn’t have enough money for the bookstore. 

“We could grab a table at The Three Broomsticks?” Severus suggested as he gestured towards the pub. You nodded your head and made your way over, opening the door and began to make your way to the first empty table you saw. You smiled when Severus pulled on your arm and pointed to the booth in the back instead. He was always such a loner, though you couldn’t help but wonder if he preferred the seclusion now because he didn’t want to be seen with you. You wouldn’t blame him for being skeptical and you were thankful he was giving you a chance, but trust was so important in a relationship and you didn’t want to start it off with an inability to trust one another. 

“Go ahead, I’ll grab us some drinks.” You nodded and made your way to the booth, making yourself comfortable as Severus walked over to the bar. As you slide to the middle of the booth, you began to appreciate Severus' choice in seating, realizing how well hidden you were from everyone, not wanting your day interrupted by someone who thought Severus had kidnapped you and forced you into a date because they thought someone like you shouldn’t be out with someone like him. 

Severus didn’t take long to bring you your drinks, setting them down before shuffling into the booth beside you, grabbing his drink and taking a few gulps. His nerves had finally settled in and he almost wished he’d ordered something stronger for himself. The moment of truth had nearly come and at any moment now he’d get what he came here for, but he was afraid. He feared what the truth may bring him, that if by some small chance you were being honest before, he was about to ruin a love that could have been.

“Thank you,” you said as you reached for your own drink and took a sip. “Not just for the drink, but for giving me a chance as well.”

Severus gulped down the guilt that grew in his chest. There was no going back now. He had to find out the truth, even if you seemed genuine with your feelings towards him. “I was curious to know why you’d want to go out with me.”

He dipped his toes in the water as you both continued to enjoy your drinks and as he hoped, you began to open up to him, though perhaps not in the way he would have thought. “I’ve admired you for quite some time and have been trying to build up the courage to talk to you for a while.”

You put your drink down in shock by your sudden outburst of words. You hadn’t meant to say all that, even if it was on the tip of your tongue. Furrowing your brows, you pressed your lips together, unsure of how you’d lost control so suddenly. You felt like someone was pulling your strings, like they had slapped you on the back so hard, the words just flew out of your mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say all that.”

Severus narrowed his eyes at you, doubting his own abilities and wondered how this could possibly be. He was so sure this was a trick, that you were being deceitful, put up by someone else to embarrass him, but your truth was far from what he was expecting. You were real, you were interested in him, and he’d made a terrible mistake. “S-so no one put you up to asking me out?”

“No of course not. You’re the only person I’ve ever met I felt like I could truly fall in lo-” You clapped your hands over your mouth before you could say anymore. Your eyes widened as you bit down on your tongue, muffling the words you could not believe were about to be heard by him. You looked at him in fear, feeling completely helpless. Your freewill had been stripped away from you and you found yourself unable to control what came out of your mouth. “W-what’s going on?!”

“I-I’m so sorry (Y/N). This was not how I imagined things would go,” he said, his sympathetic tone making it harder for you to stay calm as your heart pounded angrily against your chest. Every fiber in your body told you something was wrong, that you should run, but you couldn’t, you didn’t want to. You’d waited so long to be here, to be in this moment alone with Severus, you didn’t want it ruined.

“What are you talking about?” You let yourself speak just enough to ask for clarification, to give Severus the chance to explain himself, to give you the explanation you needed to stay here with him. 

“I-I slipped Veritaserum into your drink. I thought I could get you to admit this was a trick. I didn’t expect this. I’m so sorry.” You looked at him with absolute horror, your heart breaking into a million pieces as his betrayal sunk in. He’d manipulated you, used you like a puppet when you’d done nothing but open yourself up to him. You’d trusted him like you’d done with no one before, and he tossed that away like it meant nothing. Your eyes swelled with tears, unable to look at him any longer. Your legs immediately swept you from your seat as you glued your mouth shut, trying to escape the prison Severus had trapped you in

“(Y/N) wait!” Severus cried after you in desperation, unable to believe how he’d messed up something he could only dream of having. You were an angel that anyone would have felt lucky to be with and he was the demon you’d chose instead. The demon who’d scared you away from love, from happiness, from a good and honest relationship. He tried to grab your wrist, but his hand failed to hold onto you as your skin, your oh so perfect skin grazed his fingertips. You ran out the door with tears dripping down your face and a hand over your mouth, leaving him deserted. His eyes followed you until you were no longer within his line of sight, running to get as far away from the monster who’d broken your trust, your faith in him. 

Slumping back in his seat, he stared blankly at his hands, the hands that had spent all week brewing a potion that was meant to bring him peace, a sense of power and control over his own life, yet it brought him nothing but an empty heart and crushed aspirations. Your words rang in his ears, the kind tone you took with him, the loving look you gave him all sinking in much differently now that he knew for certain they were real. He looked up at the drink that had ruined his second chance, the chance at a happy life, a life where he no longer had to be alone and swung his arm at it in anger.

The pub fell silent as glass shattered, the drink spilling all over the floor as Severus pushed himself up and began storming out the door, ignoring the calls of the angry bartender who stood over the mess he’d made. Severus ran in the same direction he’d seen you head, but found no sight of you. He had no idea what he’d say or why he so suddenly ran after you without thinking. He just knew he had to find you. He couldn’t give up on the miracle he’d been asking for all his life, someone who truly cared for him, who liked him for who he was and could look past his flaws.  

He looked around and found himself in a lost haze, unsure of what to do next. You were gone, vanished like a figment of his imagination and he was left here to wonder how he’d managed to get so lucky to have the one person the entire school was after fall for him. He looked back at the road back to Hogwarts before he found his legs suddenly jolting him forward as if his body knew exactly where to go. He couldn’t understand what was happening, how he felt like he had no control over himself. His mind was cycling as it tried to comprehend what was happening, how he could be driven on nothing but emotions, his feelings for you pushing him to run as fast as he could back to the castle and up those flights of stairs. 

By the time he got to his destination, his hair was sticking to the sides of his face, his lungs gasping for air as he felt his entire body heat up. His heart pounded angrily against his chest, shouting at him to keep going, that he wasn’t done until he’d found you, but he’d never run so much in his life, never felt so unable to breath, even after the massive panic attrack he had the night after the Whomping Willow incident. 

Looking around the library, he found his way to the door he knew only staff were allowed to open. His hand bolted for the doorknob, tugging on it to find it locked. Pulling out his wand, he tried to unlock it with no luck. His fists pounded on the door in frustration, he needed to get in there, he knew you were in there, he could feel it. You’d trusted him enough to tell him about this place and as much as he was aware you didn’t want to see him, he needed to see you. “(Y/N)! (Y/N)! Please open the door! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t think- I didn’t know!”

Severus hung his head low as he pressed himself to the door. This was as close to you as he knew he’d ever get again. He’d ruined any chance of a relationship with you and you were right to hide away from him. He was destructive, ruining anything he touched, anyone who spoke with him or dare come near him and perhaps that was why Potter felt the need to hex and curse him every time they saw one another. He couldn’t let it go on, he had to try and mend things, if not to at least make up for what he’d done.

“Please, at least let me undo what I’ve done. I can cure you and if you don’t want to hear what I have to say then I’ll leave. But please let me fix this.” Severus shut his eyes, tears threatening to fall as his forehead met the door. He stood there in silence, wondering if he’d hurt you so bad you’d abandoned the one place you felt safe in this school, if he’d done to you what Potter had to him. He’d become what he hated and was about ready to retreat to his dorm when he heard the doorknob turning, the door slowly opening as he took a step back, his eyes wide as he wiped away the tears that rolled down his cheeks. 

Your eyes met his and you felt your disappointment melt into anger. Your jaw hardened as you locked your teeth together, doing everything you could to keep from speaking another word to Severus. You watched him snap out of your gaze and begin to fumble with his robes, pulling out a small stone and presenting it to you. You stared down at it confused, wondering what kind of apology this was meant to be. 

“It’s a bezoar. I know it’s not the most comfortable solution, but it’s all I have,” Severus offered it to you, hoping you’d take it, that he could try and regain your trust once again. He held out hope as he watched your posture relax the slightest bit, your hand hesitantly reaching for the stone. He wouldn’t dare speak a word or move a muscle until you indicated what it was you wished of him next. From this moment forward, he would do nothing you didn’t ask for, say nothing you didn’t demand. 

Tossing the stone into your mouth, you swallowed hard and groaned at the feeling of its rough texture travelling down your throat. You heaved for air, but for the first time since you ran out of The Three Broomsticks, you found yourself able to relax your jaw, your fear of spilling your guts disappearing. Straightening your back, you looked at Severus who seemed unable to move or breath, waiting for your command to do so as his wide eyes stared desperately into yours. You’d never felt so conflicted, your feelings for him clouding your instinct to slap him for what he’d done to you. You never felt so humiliated, so used in your life. Severus had gone from the person who’d treated you like a normal human being to the one person in your life who’d hurt you worse than you ever thought you could be hurt. But you still couldn’t find it in you to shove him away and lock him out of your life. So instead, you closed the door behind you and stood your ground with your arms crossed, waiting for Severus to explain himself. 

“I-I’m so sorry.” He nearly choked on his words as they came out when he saw the look on your face, the frown you wore. No word would ever be large enough to truly depict how he felt right now and as much as he wanted to say more, all he could do was apologize.

“You already said that,” you mumbled in a whisper, speaking against your own trauma from the truth serum that Severus had given you. He looked so sincere, so desperate for your forgiveness. You’d never seen him like this before, clawing at someone else for something only they could give. He’d always been such a strong person even if others would disagree. He wasn’t presumptuous as he was proud of himself and his achievements, but the person who stood before you now had no pride left to show. He had nothing but regret and torment in his eyes.

“And I can never say it enough. I should never have put that potion in your drink and I wish I could take it back. I didn’t think you were being genuine. I was so sure you were lying to me.” He spoke honestly, hoping you’d have faith he was being truthful with every word he spoke, that you could at least put the trust in him he failed to put in you. 

“Why?” You couldn’t let go of the sheer stupidity of what he’d done. His reasoning didn’t make the slightest bit of sense to you, and if you could understand why he did it, maybe you could begin to forgive him.

“Why? Because you’re you and I’m me and why would I ever believe you of all people would be interested in me?” Severus went on as if the question was an absurd one to ask, the answer so obvious, even a house elf could see it. He wondered how you couldn’t see his hesitation, why you’d ever think he’d simply accept the fact you were interested in him.

“Because I said that I did!” you said bluntly, rather offended he questioned your intentions at all. Never had anyone second guessed you to this extreme before and you didn’t appreciate it in the slightest.

“I know, I just-”

“Didn’t trust my word?” You looked completely heart broken, more so then when you realized he’d slipped truth serum into your drink. He could see trust was something you cherished between those you let close to you and he’d completely ruined his chance at gaining it from you.

“No, I didn’t. I couldn’t. Not after the way the school decided to brand me all those years ago.” Severus had no hope of convincing you what he did was justifiable because even he knew it wasn’t. All he could hope for was for you to understand his hesitation, to understand why he had to do something when you approached him to see if you were genuine in your intentions.

“I’ve never treated you that way,” you retorted.

“I know. I’m sorry and I’ll understand if you’ll never want to speak with me again.” He put the ball in your court, completely at your mercy. Whatever it was you decided to do, he would respect it, but every inch of him begged you to give him another chance, to let him have a proper opportunity to have someone in his life that would care for him, to have a happy ending. But as Severus stared into your blank eyes, he could tell he hadn’t swayed you in any way. It was his fault and as he had nothing more to say, all he could do was turn around to walk away from everything that could have been.

“That’s it?” Severus stopped as you called after him, turning around in surprise as he stared at you blankly. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re just going to walk away? You’re not going to try and fight? For-for this?” You gestured between yourselves with a sliver of hope in your eyes. You knew you shouldn’t have expected much from him, but a part of you hoped he’d be a little more resilient to giving up on you, especially after all that time you’d spent admiring him from afar. 

“I-I didn’t think there was anything to fight for,” he said truthfully, looking at you with wide eyes as he walked back to you. He stared at you intently, trying to read you, to figure you out with all these mysteries surrounding you. How could someone so beautiful fall for him, want to be with him enough you’d be willing to give him a chance at redemption when his own best friend wouldn’t give him such a thing?

You took a step forward, wanting so badly to have all those talks with him you’d dreamed of having, to enjoy spending time with him if not to simply read together and find comfort in each other's company. You wanted to go back and give him a chance to redo the evening, to have it end much differently than yours and if it were anyone else, you would never have given him the chance to explain himself. But it wasn’t someone else, it was him. It was the one person in this whole world who you thought could break your curse, who seemed immune to it.

“Severus, why don’t you treat me like everyone else in this school?”

Severus stood in silence a moment as he thought back to how easily everyone worshipped the ground you walked on, how you always seemed to have a trail of people behind you, admiring you for no reason other than your looks. His thoughts wandered to Lily and how Potter seemed just as enchanted with her as the rest of the school did to you, how he’d only become intrigued with Lily after finding out she was a kind witch who lived in Cokeworth.

“I just-I suppose I just never thought of you in that way because I didn’t know you, and I never thought you’d be interested in knowing me.” Severus tried to be as honest as he could, watching you with hope. He held onto the fact you hadn’t run away, that you’d given him the chance to speak, to hear him and understand him. You were so kind, nothing like he would have ever imagined and he knew if he was ever so lucky as to get a second chance with you, he would never take it for granted again.

“Well, I am,” you said with a smile. You’d always been rather talented at reading people after the absurdity you’d seen from others, and Severus had truly wanted to make amends. You prayed your faith in him wasn’t misplaced, that he meant every word he said and that he saw what you saw. “If you are.”

“I am.” The words flew out of his mouth faster than he could process. He jumped at the chance you offered, beyond excited for the happy life he saw ahead of him. “Would you perhaps like to try again?” 

You nodded your head eagerly, excited for your do-over date. You almost wanted to forget what had happened today, to approach things with him from a fresh perspective. “Valentine’s day is coming up. Would you care to share a cup of tea with me at Madam Puddifoot’s tea shop?”

“Really?” Severus couldn’t believe how kind hearted you were, how willing you were to see the good in others and how tremendously lucky he was to have found you, or more accurately, have you find him. 

“So long as I’m buying this time,” you nodded with a laugh, eliciting a smile from Severus as you began making your way out of the library. You smiled as you finally got to see the real him, the person you grew infatuated with, the boy who you saw hope for love with. For the first time in your life, you felt content, excited for the spark you felt growing inside your heart. You could experience love for the first time in your life, real, pure love and you couldn’t wait to see what more it had in store for you.

[hallowxiu]

Mammon’s Valentine

pairing: mammon x gn!mc

word count: 2.4k

summary: You decide to get a Valentine's gift for each of the brothers, starting with Mammon. 

a/n: i know this is late but i wanted to do it anyway lol also, let me know if you want any for the undateables. i’m going to write one for each brother, but was unsure for the side characters. 

part one of the valentine’s day series

“Have you ever heard of Valentine’s Day?” It was an innocent question, one that had been lingering on your mind for a while. As you slowly spin around in circles on your desk chair, you wait for Mammon’s answer. The holiday was just around the corner, and you were hoping you could do something special for the boys, something to show them how much they meant to you. Of course, you wouldn’t be surprised if at least some of them knew about the holiday, but you’d like it to be a surprise. You wanted to give all of them something unique, something that you thought would fit each of their personalities. While you had plenty of ideas for some of the brothers, others, well… 

“Never heard of it.” 

A smile formed on your lips from the demon’s response. That’s what you were ideally hoping for; you thought he’d have the cutest reaction to being surprised. Plus, if he was unaware of the holiday, he wouldn’t be suspicious or expecting anything from you. It was perfect for the most part. However… Mammon was one of the brothers you struggled with when thinking up ideas. Not only did Mammon own just about anything he’d ever want, but he also had the money to buy whatever he wanted. 

You could work with this, at least. “Say, Mammon, are you prepared for the exam tomorrow?” You decided to change the topic before he had the chance to ask you about it. “I can help you study if you want. Since it’s all about human history, I’m pretty much considered an expert at this.” You send him a cheeky wink, to which the white-haired demon finds himself blushing over. 

“I’ll have ya know that I’m plenty prepared!” His cheeks puff out as his eyebrows furrowed together. “But if you’re that desperate to spend time with me, then I won’t tell ya no…” 

It’s been nearly a full day since you last spent time with Mammon. The two of you have already taken your exams, and now you were left to focus on a gift you could give the demon. A few ideas have popped into your head since then, but none of them seemed good enough in your opinion. Buying him something was out of the question; anything nice that he would like you could hardly afford. And while you did want to spoil him, you just didn’t have the means to do so. 

It was when you were lounging across Asmodeus’ bed, the two of you having your usual gossip session that you came up with an idea. You were scrolling through your D.D.D and landed on an ad for stuffed animals. They were cute and small, and something Mammon would probably enjoy. However, you could do one better. Why not try to make it yourself? “Hey, Asmodeus,” you glance over at the demon who’s applying makeup in front of his mirror, “do you have any thread or fabric I could use? I want to try making a stuffed animal.” 

Asmodeus glances back at you, a thoughtful expression on his face. “A stuffed animal? That’s cute! However, I don’t think I have any fabric that would be good for something like that.” You frown at his words, though nod your head. You supposed you could always just go out and buy some yourself. “Oh!” Asmodeus snaps his fingers as a sudden thought comes to him. “Why don’t you ask Leviathan? He’s always making clothes for cosplay, and I know he can make plushies. I’ve even seen him make a pillow for Belphie once.” 

“That’s a great idea!” You beam at the thought and hop off his bed. “Thanks, Asmo!” You place a quick kiss on his cheek before darting out of his room. 

You weren’t completely hopeless when it came to the art of making plushies. You had made a panda once, and you even gave it to Mammon afterward when he seemed to like it. That being said, you were hoping that Leviathan would lend you the items you needed. However, it was always hard to tell with Leviathan depending on his mood. You’re sitting on one of his bean bags as you watch the blue-haired demon play one of his games. He had invited you in some time ago, though he told you to keep your business to yourself until he finished the current level he was on. That was… five levels ago. 

“Levi?” You fiddle with your fingers as you watch the character on the screen fight a dragon. You weren’t sure if he was winning or not. “I actually dropped by to ask you a question.” 

“Can it wait?” The demon asks between the sounds of buttons being smashed. “I’m trying to beat this level and talking to you distracts me. I need the utmost amount of focus to get past this level. I want to be the first one to clear this level,” he glances over at you briefly before bringing his attention back to the screen, “it shouldn’t be too much longer.” It had already been thirty minutes. 

A sigh leaves you as you settle into the bag. “I just wanted to borrow some items from you so I could make you and Mammon a Valentine’s gift.” You watch with a concealed smile as Leviathan immediately freezes. While this was supposed to be a gift for Mammon, you did need ideas for Leviathan as well, and you figured that plushies would also be in the realm of things he liked. Plus, you knew this would speed things up for you. After all, you only had a few days before Valentine’s Day and you needed gifts for all the brothers. That would be no small feat. 

“Y-You…” He’s looking at you with wide eyes, the controller now on the floor. You watch as the screen flashes a “GAME OVER” message. “You wanted to make me a Valentine’s gift? Someone as socially awkward as me? Me and Mammon? Sure, I understand the appeal of making a gift for someone as cool as Mammon, but me? A yucky otaku?” You stifle a laugh behind your hand. 

“Yes, Leviathan. I wanted to make you a Valentine’s Day gift.” You left out the part where you’d be making everyone a Valentine’s gift; you figured he didn’t need to know that. 

With a bright red face, he gets up from where he was sitting and brings you over to one of his drawers. “Everything I have to make crafts with is in here. Take whatever you want.” He has an arm covering his face before hurrying out of the room. You watch with a smile before returning to the task at hand. 

“Wow,” you look up from where you’re sitting on your bedroom floor to see Asmodeus leaning on your doorframe. You were in the middle of putting together the first plush for Mammon. You were surrounded by pieces of fabric and sewing string, and you may or may not have pricked yourself a couple of times in the process. Bandaids littered your fingers and Asmodeus found himself chuckling. “You are a disaster with a needle, my love.” 

“So I’m finding out.” You respond, your attention still on the plush in your hands. “But it’s coming together nicely, don’t you think? It’s definitely better than the panda I made.” 

“It was very homemade.” Asmodeus agrees. “But that was the charm.” 

“So I’ve heard.” You hum while working on the plush. “I figured a golden-colored cat would be good for Mammon. I know he isn’t Satan, but he also has a soft spot for cats.” You can hear Asmodeus hum in approval while he sits across from you. “This is leagues above the panda plush.” You’re looking down at the cat in approval, holding it up so you can check it out from every angle. “Do you think he’ll like it?” 

Asmodeus stares at you with a quirked brow. “Darling, he’ll like anything you give him. You could gift him a rock with a bow tied around it and he’d get all red in the face while swearing up and down that it’s the nicest gift anyone’s given him.” You laugh at Asmodeus’ honesty. You weren’t sure that was quite true, but you were happy to hear it nonetheless. “I’m assuming this is for Valentine’s Day?”

“I figured you’d know about the holiday.” It didn’t come as a surprise that the Avatar of Lust knew about a human holiday centered around love. “Yes, I plan on giving a gift to each of you.” Secrets were always out the window when Asmodeus was involved. “I figured I’d get a head start with Mammon’s.”

“Smart. He’d become the next Avatar of Envy if he saw you giving a gift to anyone else before him.” Asmodeus chuckles as he gets back up. “I’ll leave you to it then. Can’t wait to see what you have in store for me.” There’s a cheeky smile on his lips and you can’t help but roll your eyes. 

“Easy tiger.” 

You nervously linger by Mammon’s bedroom door. You’d been standing outside his room for the last five minutes, unsure if you should make yourself known or not. You didn’t know why you were suddenly nervous to give him his gift; maybe he wouldn’t like it? Then again, Asmodeus was confident that Mammon would like anything you gave him. Clearing your throat, you bring up your hand to knock on his door. 

Within seconds it swings open, revealing a red-faced Mammon. You tilt your head to the side, confused as to why he’s so red. “What’s up?” You asked with a small smile.

“You’re askin’ me what’s up? Shouldn’t I be askin’ you that?” Fair point. With that, you find yourself stepping around the other and walking into his room. 

“I brought you something.” 

“I brought ya somethin’.” 

The two of you stare at each other in silence before Mammon awkwardly clears his throat. “Uh, y-you go first.” His face has become redder since you first walked in. 

“Okay,” You eye him cautiously before holding out the bag in front of you. “I brought you something for Valentine’s Day. I know you don’t know much about it, but in the human realm, it’s a day where you show the people you love how much you care about them. It can be for family, friends, or partners.” There's a smile on your lips as you explain the holiday to Mammon. “I thought it would be fun, so I made you a gift!” Shyly, you hold the bag out for Mammon to take. The demon, who looks as if he might faint from the slightest bit of movement, takes the bag from you. He carefully opens it, a dopey smile blooming across his lips as he pulls out the stuffed cat. “What… what do you think?” This time it’s you who’s feeling shy. 

“I love it.” He responds in a dreamy voice. “It’s goin’ right with the panda. They’ll be best friends.” A relieved laugh leaves you, and you feel as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. 

“That makes me happy to hear, Mammon!” You pause when remembering that the other also had something to say when you came in. “But what was it you were saying earlier?” 

“O-Oh, right.” And just like that, the second eldest is fumbling with his words again, nearly dropping the bag and the plush in the process. Quickly, he puts the gift down on his shelf and dashes toward his bed. “I, uh, well-- when ya asked me about Valentine’s Day the other day, I ended up doin’ some research. I wanted to know what you were talkin’ about, and then I saw it was a holiday that ya celebrated with those closest to ya.” He’s finding it hard to speak as he grabs something, hiding it behind his back before you could see it. “And, and so I decided I should get ya somethin’ since we’re close and all.” You think he might pass out if he keeps going. “But don’t get the wrong idea! I’m only doin’ this so ya don’t feel left out and all. Ya should feel honored that The Great Mammon would even spend time on ya.” 

You laugh quietly as you watch Mammon fumble around with whatever he’s holding. There’s a lightness in your chest, and you can’t help but feel happy. “You’re saying that you got me something for Valentine’s Day?” 

“Yes!” Before you can process what’s happening, Mammon’s shoving something into your arms. You look down to see a box of chocolates and a small white card. “Just-- just don’t let Beel around the chocolates. The second he catches wind about it they’ll be devoured.” He’s looking at his door as he talks to you, trying to find anything else to keep his eyes on. “So… I just hope ya like it. I know it’s not much but…” 

“I love it.” There’s a bright smile on your lips as you stare down at the chocolate. “And the card, did you make that yourself? It’s beautiful.” His cheeks are redder now. 

“Yeah, I had some time to myself and when I researched it, I was told that Valentine’s Day gifts are better homemade. It uh, the card,” he takes a deep breath, “it says how much I cherish our friendship.” He blows air into his cheeks, his eyebrows furrowing in embarrassment. 

“It’s perfect.” With this, he finally looks at you. “I really do love it. It’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” Your cheeks are becoming warm and you’re sure you’re sporting a similar look to Mammon now. “If you want, do you maybe want to share the chocolates with me? And we can spend the rest of the day watching movies.” 

“Just the two of us?” He’s trying not to sound too hopeful, though the look on his face is hard to miss. 

“Just the two of us.” 

A wide smile forms on his lips and he tugs at his jacket. “Well, I suppose if the human wants to spend their day with The Great Mammon, who am I to tell them no?”

[lovelykhaleesiii]

Summer

HEADCANON 

PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader 

Words: 1021

Summary: Tom has become fed up with not having time to spend with you, he takes matters into his own hand... A holiday has been long overdue.

Warnings: fluff, mentions of smutty behaviour, swearing. 

A/N - LMAO it’s been a minute. enjoy xx 

Tom had been planning a summer getaway to Barcelona since he began to notice the distress you’d been experiencing from the chaos of work.

You both hardly had time for each other, and in the rare occasions that you did, you both were exhausted and planned nothing than to stay in bed.

Sex wasn’t even possible, which sucked ass.

Some time away was something that you both desperately needed, and Tom had been arranging without your knowledge... A surprise for his soulmate, as he justified.

You’d been together for 3 years, having met through a mutual friend. Tom was the one to notice you and essentially, made the first move.

“Ugh, Tom Holland just messaged me Y/F/N, what the actual fuck...” And from there the relationship blossomed into what it is today.

After Tom breaking the news of this vacation, you’d initially laughed it off thinking it was another one of his “uncalled jokes”, brushing off the fact that you hadn’t even mentioned a holiday to your employer.

“Tom babe, don’t be silly. Not right now, you know I can’t just drop and leave everything!”

At this point after the many long, loving years with Tom, you still failed to realise that he was always a few steps ahead of you, and you loved him for it.

“Darling, when I tell you I’ve sorted everything, I mean everything. I talked to Rebecca and she was more than happy to give you time off, after all the running around you’ve been doing. So shall we get a move on with the packing!”

Touching down the runway was surreal, although actually arriving to the beach side was divine. The salty air of the sea filled you as you took a deep breath of the fresh air. No stress, no worries in sight.

“Come darling I’ve got a few more surprises for you...”

Undoubtedly, Tom knew his fans would come running to wherever they’d find him. A few had already caught you two at the pier awaiting for the yacht Tom had arranged.

You encouraged Tom to meet and greet the fans, take photos, despite him repeatedly explaining that his time during this vacation would be devoted to only you.

Although, you never wanted to be the reason for Tom to exclude his fans.

Finally having the boat to yourselves, secluded out in the ocean, the distant coast surrounding you, could you finally immerse yourself in Tom’s complete attention.

You had to admit, Tom was looking real good lately. You knew he had an upcoming film, and most of the time during these few months was preocccupied with him preparing to “bulk up.” And after all this time, you hadn’t had the chance to see the results for yourself.

Especially in the cyan shorts, every muscle was exposed. From his arm, chest right down to his legs. He’d gotten massive, and quite impressively in a short amount of time.

It was habit for Tom to become self-conscious whenever he did need to bulk for a film. However you made certain that was avoided and persuaded him to feel confident despite the changes to his body.

However right now, you were living for his thunder thighs. Tom was very much into you riding him out, dry humping the fuck out of him... And with his current thighs, you were about to have even more fun.

And his hair had grown out even more. His luscious, brown locks pushed back especially, was a look you’d definitely rooted for.

Right now, this man is a GOD to you.

“Look at you babe, you’re a completely different person now,” You smirked, with literal heart eyes, just gazing upon every inch of his muscular body.

“Have you only just realised now, darling?” Tom laughed, as he laid himself beside you, his thick arm wrapping its way around your neck.

In return, it had been months since Tom saw you even semi-naked. You were either in work attire or pajamas. Yet now seeing you in the navy one-piece swimsuit, the man was about to risk it all. The way the suit clung so tightly to you the shape of your body, defining every curve and crevice that he found so desirable. He’d just stop and stare hungrily at you, with the cheekiest grin on his face.

You even caught the man licking his lips, as if he were about to devour you then and there, no hesitation whatsoever... Not like he hasn't done it before, its just been a while since you'd been intimate with one another.  

He was craving you badly, he sat himself partially upright, one arm still clung around you loosely, and the other gripping your waist, as you laid beneath him.

You could feel his rough hand stroking your side, making its way up to your sideboob, which just so happened to be subtly peaking through.

Cheeky Tom... He was the one that picked out the swimsuit for you, and he knew exactly what he was doing.

“You look sexy as hell, Y/N... God how I’ve missed our special moments, baby.”

His lips immediately met with your hot skin. Small, wet kisses forming a trail from your neck heading into the direction of your peaking breast, a cleavage exposed through the swimsuit. You could feel goosebumps forming, and couldn’t deny... You’d truly missed this. 

“Tom, not now silly-”

You’d spent the rest of the day either swimming, and for the sake of making up for the lost time, making out as Tom carried you afloat in the ocean. Not to mention, his growing bulge even underwater was the cherry on top. And more so, reading a novel you’d been meaning to finish back on the boat with the sun beating down as you tanned, and a glass of the finest red wine at hand. Tom laid closely down beside you, just gently stroking your back the way you liked it.

You were being given the royal treatment, and all thanks to Tom. He loved spoiling you when he could, always ignoring the fact that you’d beg him not to. 

You lived for every single moment with Tom, and this was a summer to remember for a while... 

[zemosreader]

let's make it official ⎛ oneshot ⎠

MAIN PAIRING: Natasha x reader.

summary: Natasha and you have been friends with benefits but that doesn’t stop you both developing feelings for each other. an emotional morning and a trip to your dream destination results in a very important question that will change your relationship for years to come.

warnings: none.

word count: 2.1k

MASTERLIST

It was the first day off from work that you had had in a long time and your only plan was to relax with Natasha. But you woke up to find your sort of girlfriend was no longer lying next to you. You had been forced to finally take a holiday from your job and had been glad that it lined up with when you girlfriend was going to be free. You weren’t in what could be classified as an official relationship, but it was time that you both finally made a decision as to what you were. If you would just continue to be friends with benefits or if you would make it official.

Well at least that had been the plan, but instead Natasha had surprised you by having two bags sitting packed at the front door once you had made your way into the living room from your bedroom. You recognised one of the bags as your own travel bag, but you had no idea as to why Natasha would have taken it or why it would be sitting at the front door. You had thought that Natasha was home from work for a few weeks. But if Natasha had two bags packed and at the door already, did that mean that she was ready for this to be over with? Was Natasha heading back home to the Avengers tower early as well?

“Morning love,” you startled at Natasha's sweet voice as you stood staring at the bags at the front. You hadn’t even realised that she had been in the kitchen making you each a cup of coffee. It surprised you so much that you couldn’t stop the surprise from flooding through you as you looked at your girlfriend who was staring at you in return. “What’s wrong, love?” And that was the Natasha that you had fallen head over heels for. The Natasha that was caring and always tried to make sure that those she cared about were okay and would go out of her way to do so.

“I don’t want you to leave,” you answered with your voice just above a whisper as you looked down at the ground. You didn’t know how to process what you thought was going to happen. It hadn’t occurred to you just how attached you had gotten to your relationship with Natasha, and in some ways the thought of it ending made you feel like you did back in your first year at Shield when you had no friends and didn’t know what to do.

“Love,” Natasha's voice was closer than you had expected it to be. “Look at me, please,” she requested from behind you, and the softness and worry in Natasha's voice forced you to look up and turn towards the redhead. You couldn’t stop your heart from breaking as you finally met her gaze.

“I don’t want you to leave me,” you repeated as you tried to stop your voice from cracking. But it was difficult to prevent it from happening. The last thing you expected was for Natasha's hand to gently graze your cheek and then gently hold you. It was more intimate than you thought it would ever be when Natasha realised that she didn’t want to be with you any longer.

“I’m not leaving, love. I’m not leaving you, I promise,” Natasha replied as she pushed your hair out of your face. It was gentle and loving, and it was everything that you needed in that moment to stop yourself from breaking. But if it turned out that Natasha did leave you, you were positive that it would break you. “Why did you think that I was leaving?” Natasha asked as she pulled you into a tight hug, it was reassuring and pushed the little parts of your heart that had broken back together. There were still cracks there, but it was reassuring.

Despite the fact that Natasha was doing a pretty good job of reassuring you that she wasn’t leaving, you couldn’t bring yourself to verbally answer for fear that your voice would crack and you would start to cry. So instead, you just lifted your hand and pointed towards the bags sitting at the front door.

“Oh, Love, it was supposed to be a surprise,” Natasha laughed as she leaned back so that she could see your face. “We both work so hard, and I wanted to take you away for the week so that we can just relax and have some fun. I’m not going anywhere without you, I promise,” Natasha assured you as she pulled you into a tighter hug but it was clear that you were finally relaxing, and that made her relax as well. The red head could be tough and strong most of the time, but you were lucky enough to get to witness the soft side of the Black Widow, and that was exactly what this was.

“Where are we going?” you finally asked after you had stood in Natasha's embrace and just allowed yourself to be and feel calm and relaxed. It was only once you had calmed down and actually enjoyed the comfort that Natasha was offering you realised that you probably shouldn’t have worried so much. Afterall, Natasha was not the type of person who would just leave without any warning at all.

“That’s a surprise. Why don’t we have breakfast and then you can get ready so we can go?” Natasha suggested before she took your hand and started to lead you over to the kitchen table where there was toast and a spread of breakfast foods for the two of you. It wasn’t romantic in the typical sense of the word, you knew that, but it was perfect for both of you. It was what made your relationship sweet, not that you needed to be in a relationship that everyone else saw as being right, but that you could just be who you wanted to be.

It was only hours later that you gasped as you looked around at the landscape surrounding you. You had never expected that you would get a chance to walk around and see this. You had been a teenager the first time that you thought that you were going to die. You had fought with Shield before you had even finished your education, and whilst you had travelled around the world these past few years, you had never had a chance to really enjoy it at all. And that is why this was so special.

New York was gorgeous, but there was too much blood that had been shed over the town and that stopped you from being able to enjoy it. You couldn’t look at the streets back home without the memories of all that you and your friends had been through flooding your mind. That is why you loved this trip. It had gorgeous scenery that made you smile and feel at peace without the memories of Shield, Avengers and Hydra.

This vacation hadn’t been something that you had expected. You spent most of your days either working on once again establishing Shield as something new and Hydra free, or you were working on your training. You had realised your first year with Shield that you couldn’t fight every enemy but you could make sure that you could keep yourself safe if it came to it. But all of that took up so much of your time that you didn’t really have a chance to do much without having to worry about your own life.

You looked over towards your girlfriend who was standing watching you. In that moment, in that setting, surrounded by something so exciting, you saw what you wanted in life, you saw what you wanted most. You wanted this, moments of happiness with no worries. Moments where you could just be.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” you asked as you walked up to your girlfriend. The sight in front of you just made you smile. Natasha was standing in front of a historical windmill in one of the places that you had always wanted to visit, Kinderdijk Windmills, but the sun was shining on her and the landscape and it made you smile so much. It was so picturesque that you couldn’t stop the little flutter that rushed through you, that flutter of love and excitement.

“Of course I am, love,” Natasha's reply only caused your smile to grow. You had worried that the Black Widow wouldn’t enjoy it as she had insisted that you could pick what your first activity in the Netherlands was. You knew it was nerdy and geeky and probably not all that romantic but you had never had a chance to visit the Kinderdijk Windmills and you were more than happy to let Natasha pick every other activity that you did. “But I wouldn't be enjoying myself nearly as much without you by my side, my love.”

That sentence had been exactly what you needed to hear as you reached out and took Natasha's hand in your own. The two of you slowly started to walk along the walkway that ran past all of the windmills. They were magnificent in their size and presence. In a way they appeared to be completely unmoving, just stuck there no matter what was thrown at them, but that also made sense given what their job was.

“I was meant to come here with mum and dad, that week when Loki attacked,” you finally said after you had walked around the museum and were now sitting on a grassy area not the far away from the windmills just watching some of them turn gently in the wind. It was causing both your own and Natasha's hair to blow around and occasionally hit you in the face, but you loved the way that it gave you an excuse to brush it away from her face. “We were meant to leave the day before, and I helped them to plan the trip.”

You looked off into the distance wistfully. There were days when you missed your parents more than anything and you wished that you had never survived the allien attack. Today was a bittersweet day like that. You were glad to have finally seen the Kinderdijk windmills but it broke your heart as well.

“I know, love. I’m just glad that you’re enjoying it,” Natasha's reply was soft and sweet, as was the way that she pulled you in against her side before pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your head. It was intimate but it was also like a lazy Sunday morning, quiet and peaceful. “‘There’s something I want to ask you.”

Her words had been unexpected and caused you to pull away. After the emotions of the day, you weren't sure how much more you could handle. Especially given the fact that you had already thought that Natasha was leaving you that morning.

“Yes.” Your voice was weak and fragile but you couldn’t stop it. It was taking everything in you not to just walk away and ignore whatever it was that Natasha wanted to ask you.

“It’s nothing bad. Or I hope it’s nothing bad. I just wanted you to officially be my girlfriend. I want to tell everyone, I want everyone to know that I love you and that we’re together. I already think of you as my girlfriend. So, will you be my girlfriend?” Natasha's question once again caused you to choke up. It was what you wanted but you hadn't expected it. Especially not after your hysterical reaction to the bags sitting at your front door that morning.

It took you a couple of moments during which Natasha began to pull away and look worried, but you forced down the tears that were threatening to boil over. You hated that you were being so emotional, but you hoped that you would get through this without crying.

You took a deep breath. And then you spoke. “Yes, of course I will.”

The kiss that followed was both sweet and passionate. It was full of love, no hints of lust, although that would come later. At that moment you were just enjoying being together, and then later once you had celebrated you would decide on how to let your friends know.

Kinderdijk Windmills and the Netherlands had been important to you because of the fact that it was the last place that you had planned to go with your parents. But now it would hold a new importance of where your relationship with Natasha officially began. And if you had a chance it would be where the two of you would take the next step. But that would not be for years to come.

[raspberryranpo]

Heyy may i request Russian caravan tea or chai tea with obey me brothers? Love your headcanons ^^ Stay safe xx

obey me brothers & russian caravan + chai tea

obey me! shall we date?: obey me brothers

russian caravan tea: how experienced are they with relationships?

chai tea: how do they spice up their relationship?

i’ve been watching jojo with my dad & i’ve just noticed that joseph, smokey & caesar are voiced by the voices of lorenz, akechi/hubert & nagito 😭 dead

——> tea prompts

LUCIFER

how experienced are they with relationships?

he’s experienced all right. he’s had many a partner, but most of his relationships weren’t really centred around love

he probably finds it hard to love someone genuinely with his stubborn pride and all that

but he knows exactly what he’s doing and how to go about things - he’s very attentive

how do they spice up their relationship?

lucifer is very stubborn and doesn’t like to admit his true feelings - we all know that, so to spice up his relationship, he’d probably give in and just tell you exactly how he feels

it has to happen when he’s tired, he will not do it otherwise; it definitely cannot be around his brothers, either

you’ll both be lying in his bed & he’ll be telling you how much he cares for you and how much he appreciates all that you’ve done for himself and the people around him

MAMMON

how experienced are they with relationships?

mammon’s definitely had quite a few partners of his own, too

i bet that mammon always falls quickly and deeply for someone, which leads to him always getting really upset over breakups that he causes himself

so yes, he’s had partners, and he knows what he’s doing. doesn’t mean he won’t cry his eyes out if he upsets you at any point though

how do they spice up their relationship?

i’ve heard somewhere that when the avatar of greed likes you, you’ll find yourself being surrounded by riches (or something along those lines)

so that obviously means that mammon likes to buy you pretty things whenever he thinks of you, right??

maybe he’ll get decide you deserve bigger & get you a holiday to somewhere fun in the human world with an extra ticket (in case you decide to bring along your favourite demon)

LEVIATHAN

how experienced are they with relationships?

not at all. he probably has not had a single girlfriend for longer than a few days because they quickly realise how bad his envy can get

he’s dated online girls. by online girls i mean anime girls because he’s probably just as awkward on mic to girls as he is irl

levi likes to think that he knows what he’s doing, though. he definitely does not, so you’ll have to coach him through this because he doesn’t think he’ll get very far

how do they spice up their relationship?

to spice up his relationship, levi’ll probably just take you somewhere where he wouldn’t normally take you

i mean, there’s no way he’s leaving his room or going any further than the arcade. there’s no chance.

levi probably designs some sort of game in which you both get sucked in & visit all of your favourite places, and at the end, he sucks up his awkwardness and tells you how much he seriously appreciates you

SATAN

how experienced are they with relationships?

satan’s probably had a few significant others over the years, but not any that he actually cared about

but he reads a load of books every day, and he’s probably one of those types of people that can just imagine how to do things & do it perfectly

he doesn’t need experience when he’s got a mind like that

how do they spice up their relationship?

most of your dates are quiet cafe dates, or you both sit in his room reading together, or you both wander off and bug lucifer for a bit

so to change things up, he takes you somewhere a bit more exciting - maybe to a fair ground, or an abandoned cave full of lost spells

holds your hand constantly, wherever you go - he says it’s to make sure that you don’t get lost, but he just really wants to hold your hand

ASMODEUS

how experienced are they with relationships?

asmo is very experienced with relationships... but not of the romantic kind

i mean, he’s had a few romantic partners, but never for too long since commitment probably isn’t his kind of thing

but you’re very different. he’s said before that he feels an attraction to you like he’s never felt before

what do they do to spice up their relationship?

i think we all know what asmo’s ideal date is, so i’m not going to say it

but he’s not ALL about that. i mean, sure, he lives for that kind of thing, but he also loves doing little things with you that don’t have to lead up to that, you know?

he’d take you to a small cafe on the edge of town, where neither of you will be bothered, and you’d sit there & talk about whatever you like for hours

BEELZEBUB

how experienced are they with relationships?

beel probably did have quite a few partners before he met you - he is a demon, and one of the strongest in the devildom, but he has the biggest heart out of all of his brothers

he knows what he’s doing but that doesn’t mean he’ll do it all that well

he just gets kind of nervous around you at times - he cares so much about you that he constantly worries that he’s not doing the best he can

how do they spice up their relationship?

when asmo told him that he should change things up & spice up his relationship, his mind went straight to curry and spicy chicken and peppers.... oh....

but he knew what he meant. so immediately he started planning something exciting, something different - a short hike to see the stars!!

he’s a romantic like that. when you get there, he shows you his & belphie’s stars, the stars of his brothers, and he even names some constellations that you’ve never even heard of before

BELPHEGOR

how experienced are they with relationships?

you really think belphie has the will to get out of bed and talk to someone other than his brothers?

absolutely none. he could not care less about relationships and the like (well, before now, that is)

he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. please help him

how do they spice up their relationship?

by actually getting out of bed for once, obviously

his ideal date is just lounging around in bed all day, and since he feels a bit bad that nothing else ever happens, he’d take you out to a fancy restaurant somewhere

he knows that fancy restaurants are always romantic date spots, so he makes sure to constantly make you feel loved while you’re both in there by throwing compliments at you left, right & centre

[jostepherjoestar]

return from Sicily 🖤

sfw // gn reader // so much pining like whew 

Hello everyone, it is i, Cozy, back to give you a lil snack between schoolwork. This was fully self indulgent, to a worrying degree, so my apologies for that. But please enjoy, it was a fun little writing exercise since it’s been a while!💖✨

A distant car door shut, the sound muffled by the thick brick walls that separated you from the sparsely populated street where La Squadra Esecuzioni has been residing for a little while now. It’s not an uncommon sound, not at all actually. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve woken up to heavy car doors slamming in the middle of the night, men of disputable morals stepping out and going about their even more so morally disputable business. But instead of filling you with annoyance that you’d have to lull yourself back to sleep again, this faint slam meant the return of your capo!

He’d been off on his very first holiday since joining Passione. Perhaps it was even the first in his life, the past never really presenting such opportunities unfortunately. 10 days. 10 whole days since the looming figure that brought a sense of calm and comfort to your shared homebase had left to start his travels to Sicily. And God had you missed him. You thought your crush on him had been manageable, maybe it would even dim by not seeing him for a while.

But oh no. It got worse. It got so much worse.

You hadn’t realised it before, but living so close with your teammates had conditioned you. You saw them every single day, for worse or for better. And that also included Risotto. Sometimes he’d be too busy to come out of his office but you were always sure to pay him a quick visit. Just to check up on him, you told yourself. You’d shoot him a warm smile that always received a small nod in return from the tired form pouring over his work.

A rush of excited energy barreled through your body, trying to suppress the need to wait at the front door like an overzealous golden retriever. You put down your phone and exhaled deeply, mentally preparing yourself as to not let on how much you’ve missed seeing him around.

You heard the familiar sound of the front door unlocking and got up from the living room couch you’d been lounging on as casually as possible. Casually making your way to the entrance to casually welcome back your colleague. Casual.

Risotto looked...magnificent. His skin had darkened under the Sicilian sun and given him a nice tan that evenly spread over his figure. He was wearing a simple black shirt that clung to the right places, adorning his chiseled chest and barely holding onto his built biceps. His hat was nowhere in sight and his silver locks poked out in different directions, clearly not bothered to tame them for his drive home.

Your quick once-over cut short over the sound of your own voice. “You’re back! Did you have fun? I missed you-” To your own surprise the words left you all too soon. In an attempt to fix the slip up you hurriedly continued. “We all missed you, I mean…” you trailed off. Risotto’s lips quirked up into an amused smirk, showing off his dimple that rarely appeared. He looked a lot more relaxed than before he left.

“Oh? We?” he said, making it a point to lean to his side to direct his gaze to the empty apartment behind you. No one else had been home. You felt heat rise to your cheeks and the desperate need to run and never return. Why was this already so hard?

You nervously chuckled and wrung your hands together, casting your eyes down at Risotto’s bag that had been put near the messy shoe rack Formaggio promised to clean up while your capo was gone. Sensing you weren’t going to rebuttal his comment, he continued. “It was nice. But I did miss you all, too.” The baritone of voice only stoked the fires burning under your skin.

He had missed you. Your mind swatted away the unnecessary word that followed his statement indicating that he’d also missed your teammates. You really needed to get a grip on your feelings.

You looked up again, feeling a bit braver to face your capo. “You look at ease, it really did you good, huh?” you softly hummed. His eyes held kindness in return, no matter how dark and spooky they were to some, they held no sharp edge whenever they landed on you.

As soon as you both stepped further into the apartment you heard him let out a deep sigh. It wasn’t of displeasure, no, those were way deeper and mostly kept for difficult meetings. He was breathing in the familiar smell of home. One that strangely enough had become the one he most associated with you. Walking behind you towards his room with his bag gripped tightly, his hand clutching the straps even harder turning his knuckles white.

He’d missed you too. So much. His trip was fun and relaxing and he could finally spend time by himself after being surrounded by people 24/7. But with every stroll past the beach, every dinner spent by himself- calmly sipping a glass of deep red wine, he wished you were there to spend it with him. To hold your hand and gently sway it as the sea breeze washed away the stress work had caused to settle onto you both. To rest on the beach together, lazing on a towel while the sun beamed down and a comfortable silence that rested between you.

Risotto was thankful for the holiday he never thought he’d have while working for Passione, but even more thankful to be back home. Where you were.

You had kindly opened the door for him, that cute smile resting on your lips as you let him pass by. The room smelled fresh and sweet like the breeze outside, the wind fluttering the curtains. “I changed your sheets and opened the window for you. Thought you wouldn’t mind it.” you shyly said as he set down his bag and huffed down on the edge of his bed. Idly caressing the light sheets in appreciation. He offered you a quick smile in return, instantly making that heat rise back to your cheeks.

“I’ll let you get settled.” You were glad he was back home safe, maybe you’d rest easier now and maybe your feelings would reach a more manageable level again. But before you could get far, not even a step further towards the hallway, you felt a big hand grasp your wrist. It felt warm and calloused, one that has worked hard and endured too much. You bounced back but steadied yourself to face Risotto who had cleared his throat and swiftly let go of your wrist. Bold move there, he warned himself.

“Sorry, I- I got you something.” he grumbled out the apology, brow creased as he dipped down to reach for something in his bag.

“Here.” He handed you a strangely shaped crumpled newspaper, cursing himself for not wrapping it in something a bit nicer. It was much heavier than your average weekly publication so you held it steadier, gently trying to unwrap whatever was hiding inside. Excitement was still bubbling inside, but a sense of ease that only Risotto supplied had nestled its way into you.

Risotto took over the discarded newspaper to let you admire the gift, trying his best to hide his excited stare, eager to know if you’d liked it. In your hands rested a ceramic mug, it looked handmade and the uneven strokes of shiny blue coloured glaze gave it a rustic touch. Lemons and leaves decorated the sides, making you turn it over a couple times to fully admire the handiwork. You were so enamoured by the gift you’d forgotten to let him know your thoughts.

“For your collection…” he trailed off, getting a bit nervous at his choice and doubting if you’d liked it. He knew you had a particular taste in mugs that were allowed into your hallowed collection. (not to be touched by your other teammates of course)

“I love it Ris. Really, it’s absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much.” You really did love it, your heart could barely take how much you did. Clutching the mug in your hand, you reached over and hugged him. He had barely processed the relief of you liking his gift to be hit with your form clinging to his torso. Carefully, he placed a single hand around your middle, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable as he reciprocated. “Thank you.” you quietly let out while giving him a curt squeeze.

His arm eased you down  to sit next to him on the edge of the bed, feeling his very own surge of warmth ghost over his cheeks. His hand remained on your side, comfortably resting there, feeling right at home. You didn’t mind, not in the slightest. You were just so happy he’d returned and even brought you a thoughtful gift.

“Maybe next time I could show you around the shop I got it from. They have lots more to choose from.” he urged himself on, hearing his own heartbeat reach new speeds at the suggestion and its implications. A next time, but with you by his side.

You held onto the mug for dear life, clasping your fingers even tighter around the sides in case you’d drop it and shatter it like your chances with Risotto. Your mind raced, his suggestion having caused a mild short circuit of all functions. After a trained breath you find the strength to reply. “I’d like that very much. Just be sure to keep Ghiaccio away from the fragile stuff.” you chuckled nervously. A heavenly sound to the smitten capo.

“The rest of the team- as much as I like them- are uhm… not invited.” The smile that danced on his lips and the glint in his eyes made your heart flutter all over as you looked up at him.

A holiday? Just the two of you?

“Oh. Oh.”

You can’t seem to tear your eyes away from his as the thought settles between you. His hand on your hip hadn’t moved, only growing warmer and now finally urging you to scootch a little closer. His soft touch lingering on the small of your back now, closing in the distance and letting your hands rest on his chest as he moved to your inviting lips.

You felt like you’d burst any second, steadying your breath seemingly the hardest task you’ve had to face yet. But then your lips met, softer than any you’d felt before and easing over yours like it was the greatest privilege ever granted. A warm palm cupping your cheek, only deepening the finalisation of your mutual holiday plans. Everything you’d both been wishing to let out finally coming together, moving along your lips with a deep need and hunger that got its chance to grasp at a godly buffet.

With disbelief you both let go- regrettably so, softly gasping for air. If you wanted to go on a holiday together, you would still need to be breathing to get there. As you shared the lingering moment of closeness, appreciating the warmth and love of each other’s gazes, your hearing picked up on scuffling in the hallway.

Mortified you snapped your attention to Melone in the doorway collecting what looked like money from a passing Formaggio and Prosciutto. “Told you they’d do it after he got back.” he smuggly grinned, counting his winnings as you heard Risotto let out a small chuckle under his breath. Earning him a playful jab to his side from you.

“Melone, I won’t kill you if we split the winnings. We have a holiday to save for.” you grumbled.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

All Over Again - Chapter 7

Summary: What was lost can be found.

Warning: 18+ Smut, Language, Violence.

Ch. 6

Here’s to hoping everyone has a wonderful Christmas. I know this one’ll be different for most of us if not all, I’m here to chat for any reason, and enjoy the chapter 🎄✨💚❤

Fluffy white falls just outside the window. The wide surrounding field covered in the crystalized ice. Not a single bird is in sight, but just at the forest edge, is a deer. 

Going from pushing its nose through the snow, it suddenly looks up. If the compound weren’t so far away, you’d guess it was looking at you. 

“Hey, staring out the window isn’t going to get that garland up so chop chop.”

Frown in place, you shove your hand into the box at your feet,“ can’t you like, hire people for this.”

“That’d just make me look like some rich asshole.” Silence passes and Tony’s jaw drops at the look on your face.“ I’m not an asshole Y/Ln.”

“Not as much as before anyway.” Both yours and Tony’s eyes pan to the new presence. Pepper slides a hand across her husband’s back,“ I still love you though.” She kisses his cheek and goes over to help Maria hang mistletoe. 

You stick your tongue out at Tony playfully, then turn back to hanging the garland.

With Mister Stark’s annual Christmas party now being on the 23rd(there’s no way he’s not spending Christmas Eve and Christmas with his daughter), the team is decorating the compound. There are already a bunch of inflatable decorations outside along with lights, according to Tony, things aren’t done until the inside is just as festive as the out. 

Stepping off the ladder, you pick it and the box up, moving over to the next window so Sam and Bucky can place stickers on the one you just left. 

Just before you can get back up your phone buzzes a few times and you pull it out. A smile splitting across your face at the message from Lena, and then dropping at it’s contents. 

Obviously you’d invited her to the party, it’s the best excuse you had to see her so soon after having just left. Except now she’s telling you she won’t be able to make it, something came up at work. You sigh and tell her it’s perfectly fine and to have a happy holiday. 

The second message has a curiouser frown on your face and you spin around.

Eyes landing at the kitchen doorway where Natasha quirks a brow with a little smirk and nods backwards. 

Scanning the common room, as if looking for who she’s actually talking to, you find no one else around you. The playful roll of her eyes and nod tells you she’s talking about you.

You set the garland and tape down and head over. Natasha back steps into the kitchen once you reach her. 

“What’s with the clandestine meeting Miss Romanoff?” 

The redhead chuckles, back facing you while her hands move in front of her,“ I just wanted you to try this. If it sucks then I probably shouldn’t serve it at the party tonight.”

Before you can ask what she’s talking about, she’s already holding a glass towards you. It’s chilly to the touch and the second you raise it to your face you can smell the mixture of cream and bourbon. 

Natasha watches you as you take the first sip, your tongue running along your lips to rid them of the excess cream. Golden green eyes trail the lines of your eyes, cheek, jaw, and back up the other side. 

“Maybe a little lighter on the bourbon,” you chuckle, finishing the drink,“ and that’s coming from me.”

Finally focusing on your eyes, Natasha smiles a little,“ where’s the fun in that.”

You raised your eyebrows,“ don’t tell me you’re trying to get everyone drunk Tash, that’s not gonna end well for us you know.” 

When you see Natasha’s eyes widen you get a little worried. Her smile drops and her jaw slacks. She’s about to say something but shakes her head instead,“ yeah you’re right. I’ll fix it.” She turns back to the bowl of eggnog in silence. 

You don’t get the chance to ask what she means as Wanda calls your name, sliding to a stop at the door and leaning in to look at you,“ mind helping me decorate the tree?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah.” You pull a smile as you turn to face her,“ come on.” 

As you walk out, Wanda throws herself on to your back, arms circling your shoulders.

“Your girlfriend coming to the party?” She asks.

Once again you sigh,“ no. She has some business at work she can’t hold off.”

With her being behind you, you can’t see the giddy look on her face,“ is she seriously your girlfriend?”

Honestly you hadn’t even noticed that you didn’t deny it,“ what, no I- Wanda you know she’s not.”

Your best friend jumps from your back with an agreeing statement and the two of you start hanging ornaments on the tree. As you work you talk about the same stuff you usually do: everything and nothing. She’s really excited about Christmas, after spending the last two with Clint’s family you figure the excitement of seeing the kids has rubbed off on her. It always did you. 

Whenever you and Natasha went to the farm for the holiday their childlike innocence and excitement brought an insane amount of joy to your hearts. You can’t count the number of times you and Natasha had daydreamt about your own children bringing you that joy. 

That’s not exactly how things have gone now though. And you’re starting to feel a lot less upset over it. 

By the time all the decorations are up and the place is Stark approved, it’s late enough to get changed. You keep your outfit simple, burgundy sweater and black pants fitting to you exactly how you like. Last thing you want is to be uncomfortable for the hours that this party will last. 

“Is-is that my sweater?” 

Your gaze snaps up from your shoes to Wanda at your door, you chuckle,“ one: you look great,” her velvet green of the shoulder dress compliments the woman’s eyes and fair skin tone beautifully,“ two: this is my sweater that you stole. I simply stole it back.” 

Wanda’s eyes roll, knowing you’re right, as you leave out.

From the sounds of things, a number of people have shown up already, all of them made known as you step into the common room once again. 

Familiar faces scatter the room: Happy, Rhodey, Carol, the Guardians, the King and Princess of Wakanda, and a SHIELD recruit team lead by Coulson. Alongside the people who were here before.

“Does Stark ever not invite investors?” The younger woman leans over to ask.

Chuckling, you lead her towards the bar,“ they aren’t investors. They’re a team, like us.”

She nods, leaning against the bar,“ are we the only teams?” 

“I have no idea. SHIELD made a lot of quiet moves back in the day. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some other teams.”

Wanda can’t help but agree. She was never under SHIELD but she figures things are a lot alike under the Avengers themselves, or Cap at least. 

Frowning, you finally focus on the bar, that's unattended. Natasha’s usually back there, messing around and avoiding having to socialize for the most part. 

“Alright, what’re you having Miss Maximoff?” You ask, rounding the bar and leaning on the top, eyes set on Wanda.

She looks at the wall of liquor with a raised brow, that is until you start to notice the overwhelmed look. 

You wave your hand,“ don’t worry I’ll fix you up somethin nice.”

With new intrigue, Wanda watches you fix her a drink. As you’re distracted someone eases into the stool beside Wanda and the younger woman’s eyes widen.

“One vodka and cranb-” The drink in your hand jostles as you stop abruptly.

You can’t begin to describe the pure joy that spreads through you at the sight of her. So much joy in fact that you don’t even stop yourself from setting the drink down and rounding the bar to her. Lena quickly accepts the hug you offer, a bright smile of her own spreading. 

It’s not missed on anyone how equally happy she is to see you or the way she buries her face in your neck or how your hold on her tightens.

As Wanda watches with a broad smile, across the room Natasha frowns. 

Despite what she’d told you in the gym weeks ago, something stirs inside her.

She finds herself thinking. Alongside a sudden rush of memories: your arms around her almost exactly like that, your lips secretly pressing to her neck before you pull away. Just as your hug with Lena breaks, Natasha finds herself wondering if you’d secretly kissed the CEO’s neck. 

You have to bite your lip to stop the smitten smile from growing. Once your thoughts calm, you go back around the bar,“ anything I can get you?”

A thought flicker’s through her mind that has her face turning bright red,“ my usual if you have it.”

With a nod and mock salute, you get to work making her a glass of red wine. 

“Miss Luthor,” Tony approaches the bar, champagne in hand as he leans on her other side,“ you  come all the way out here for our sweet little Y/n?”

The drink you’d just made damn near drops from your hand and you snort, holding back a laugh. Sweet little Y/n? You wouldn’t exactly describe yourself as that. 

Silver green eyes look at you, a smile on her lips,“ she’s worth the slight jet lag.”

Her comment makes you smile and you lean forward just a little, your fingers brushing. 

“Y/Ln workin the bar!” The groups eyes fall on the two men walking up, Sam leaning at the very end of the bar and Bucky stopping beside him.“ This either really good or really bad.”

Smirking at the man, you pick up the drink mixer and set to making something he couldn’t possibly deny. Pouring a combination of juices and liquor together, you cap it and shake, then pouring the mix over ice and sliding it to Sam. 

His eyes narrow at you as he lifts the glass. Those brown eyes quickly widening,“ oh I’m going to need another one.”

That’s how you find yourself tending the bar for majority of the night, Lena and Wanda maintaining their positions there with you. While your team does hang around the area a lot, they make sure to step away every so often. 

Still though you end up being teased not long after. Having known you for years, the team. . . your family can tell how you feel about Lena with ease. The amount of attention you pay to her, the smile on your lips, the questions you answer, and your reactions to everything she says. 

“I- no, that never happened. I think I’d remember if I fell off a stage!” You tell everyone as they laugh at the story Lena’s telling. 

Maybe you’d gotten a little too drunk at karaoke night with the superfriends, maybe not. According to Lena, you and Winn serenaded the friends and you tripped off stage. Either way you can’t remember.  

“With the number of shots Winn and Mon-El gave you I don’t you remember anything at all.” She laughs. 

You open your mouth to argue but truthfully, she’s most likely right. Sighing in defeat, you lean on crossed arms on the bar,“ at least tell me the serenade was good.”

“It was perfect.” 

A long gaze holds between you two, small smiles on your lips. 

The thought hits you suddenly: you haven’t had a moment alone with Lena yet. As much as you love seeing her get along with your family, you’d really like a minute with her. So you nod to Wanda who’s quick to mouth ‘tell her’ to you.

You sigh and shake your head, a quiet part of you contemplating it, then turning to Lena,“ hey, you mind stepping away with me for a moment?”

The CEO is quick to nod, her hand slipping into the one you offer her. And you definitely feel eyes on you as you walk off with her. 

Your heart speeds up in your chest as her hand remains in hers. 

“Where, pray tell, are you taking me?” She asks, keeping her voice quiet even though no one is around. 

Pursing your lips, a sheepish smile forms,“ honestly I’m not sure I just wanted to talk.”

Her eyebrows raise a little,“ what about?” She asks with a slightly tilted head.

“Oh, uh I-” Mentally you curse yourself. 

How is it that you can take down HYDRA goons, Cartel bosses, and enhanced persons with natural ease? Yet talking to Lena makes you feel like some lovestruck child. You’ve interrogated men the size of trucks but can’t seem to ask this beauty a simple set of questions.

Stopping, she rests a hand on your forearm,“ Y/n, you can tell me anything, really.”

You can’t help but free fall into the comfort and reassurance of those green eyes. Mouth dry all of a sudden, you clear your throat and swallow,“ I guess, you know, I was wondering a-about you and James.” When her hand slips from you, you hasten to clear it up,“ I’m sorry, you don’t have to reply to that, I-”

“We used to date.” Lena speaks, gaze trained on her shoes,“ though, that ended a while ago.” 

Hearing that makes that thought in your head a little louder. Out of all the things stopping you from telling Lena how you feel, her possibly being with James is no longer one of them. 

You nod. After a bit of hesitance, you grab her hand, the warmth spreading up your arm, across your chest, and straight to your heart. Looking at your smile, makes Lena smile as well. You desperately want to keep that expression on her face so you opt to change the subject. 

“I’m really glad you made it.”

The two of you turn to keep walking, Lena good naturedly bumping her shoulder against yours,“ I would’ve regretted not coming. And your company is much better than the work I left behind.”

You grimace,“ I can’t say I hope it wasn’t important cause I know it was but-”

“You’re more important.” 

Just like before you halt, right foot skidding to a stop beside your left, as your hand tightens around Lena’s. Honesty swirls in green orbs and you can’t pretend you haven’t already fallen in love with her. 

Merely a few months and she’s captured your heart. Is that not something a person has the right to know? You’ve entrusted her with such a precious part of you and the chances of her breaking it are high. What you don’t know is how much higher the chances of her cherishing are. But you resolve that you’re willing to risk almost anything to find out.

“Lena, there’s-” god why are you tearing up, why is it suddenly a little harder to breathe. If there’s any chance of you telling her it can’t be here. 

So you take her to the one safe space you’ve always had at the compound. Lena follows, curiously silent as you tow her to the elevator and ride it up to the second highest floor. A set of stairs take you to your final destination.

The second the brisk New York air hits you inhale, it’s thin sure but it does wonders to calming you. After two, deep, steadying breaths, you fully face the brunette woman. E/c bores into green as you say a silent prayer that this doesn’t implode around you.

“You are in no way obligated to reply to this nor reciprocate, unless of course you feel so inclined.” She frowns at your words and you continue,“ I like you. I mean I love you. And not in the way that I love Winn or Kara or Wanda, I- I want to be with you Lena. You are so goddamn brilliant and caring. Your will to give and help without receiving so much as a nod of recognition is so inspiring.”

When tears shine in Lena’s eyes you understand why you’d teared up moments ago. Emotions like these can be so beautifully overwhelming. Something felt so strongly can only be expressed in a number of ways and tears just so happens to be one of those ways. 

Reaching up, you brush the stray tear from her rosy cheek, feeling the cold skin under the pad of your thumb,“ I don’t know much about how the universe works but falling for you feels inevitable.”

“Y/n,” Lena’s hand cups yours over her cheek, both your hearts are pounding, beating the same rhythm for the same reasons,“ I-” you inhale,“ I love you too.” Your exhale fans across the CEO’s red lips right before they crash onto yours.

A tidal wave of happiness washes over you. The warmth of her hand, of her body against yours, it pales in comparison to the heat that her lips bring. Heads tilt in the slightest to allow for a deeper kiss, a longer exchange of emotions and passion. 

God if you didn’t have to breathe you’d hold her there forever. 

Funnily enough, just as quickly as you pull away, you’re falling back in. Lena’s fingers now gliding gently into the hairs at your nape as yours grip her waist. 

Whatever reasons you’d come up with opposing this have long since vanished, seemingly taken away with the rush of wind past you. The fact that you denied yourself the pleasure of this for so long in baffling. 

Faces flushed from the cold and this very moment, you and Lena pull apart. Winter’s air makes it just a little harder to catch your breaths. Cold and warm air mixes in the space between you as your foreheads rest against each other. 

Both of you need a minute. Not necessarily to process, no this moment is very much real and you both know it. The silence, this pause, it’s needed so as to prolong it. Despite the flurry of snow and wind, you both have to stay in this moment for as long as possible. 

If this were a movie, this scene is exactly what every watcher would be waiting for. The crescendo that draws the two lovers together. The rising of their friendship and the climax of what’s to come. 

“I love you,” you whisper into the silence.

Lena smiles, a full, euphoric grin splits across her face.“ I love you too.” 

How could she not? The way you came into her life, well, the way she stepped into yours honestly, was entirely unexpected. Clicking with you in the way she had was equally as special as it was common. 

Lena’s had a number of partners, multiple people who she could formulate and execute an idea with. Something about you though, working with you, brainstorming and creating, it felt like so much more than just the project. Her zeal for her career was never lost. You coming along though, it was as if a power core had been struck by lightning. All that was, now amplified in the best way possible. 

Out of everyone in the banquet hall that night she found you. Whatever it was(definitely your reply to Mister Richards routine flirting) drew her in and everything you are, who you are, kept her there. And she’s so incredibly glad she stayed. 

The woman curses herself when a shiver wracks her body. 

Your soft hands run up and down her arms, warming them and raising goosebumps all at the same time,“ come on, let’s not freeze to death.” You tease.

“I’d hate for that to happen before we’ve even been on date.” She teases back.

Both of you shudder when the warmth inside the building engulfs you, but you’d been outside a little longer than you should’ve. The heating works but you need a faster relief. 

So you guide her through the halls to your room. You walk in, the door closing slowly as Lena follows, her eyes taking in the space. 

Truthfully it’s not exactly what she expected. While it’s not like the room is a mess or anything, Lena can tell that this is definitely where you spend majority of your time.

Not only is it obvious that you’ve brought your work in here a number of times(little gadgets and small tools splayed across the surface of your desk and dresser), there’s a trash can full of snack wrappers and water bottles, and an article or two of clothing on the floor.

“Sorry about the mess,” you say, quick to tidy everything up,“ me and Wanda had a sleepover last night and I hadn’t had the chance to clean up yet.”

With a nod she walks over to the desk, fingers running over the weapon parts there, some glowing and some not,“ for a moment there I thought you were a mess.” She says.

Laughing, you look back at her,“ I’m the most orderly mess you’ll ever find.” 

“I’m sure of it.” 

You make quick work of fishing another sweater from your closet. The soft knitted material equally as cute as it is comfortable. With a smile you hand it to Lena and a blush resurfaces as she thanks you. 

A part of you, a very very big part, wants to stay in here with Lena for the rest of the night. But your team is still here and there is still a party going on. 

“Guess we should head back, last thing we want is a bunch of Avengers and government agents thinking something happened to us.” You say, holding a hand out.

Lena slips hers into yours, fingers lacing together with ease as she stands. 

In a moment you can’t resist, you face her, and lean down to plant yet another kiss on her lips. The feeling is quickly becoming intoxicating, a drug you’ll gladly give yourself to, no questions.

With that kiss, you leave out, her hand still in yours. A fact Wanda notices almost instantly. 

Your best friend smiles at you brightly as you approach and you shake your head,“ don’t say it.”

She lays a hand on your shoulder, lips pursed in a ‘sorry not sorry’ kind of way,“ I told you so.”

“I know I know.” You roll your eyes good naturedly,“ I should’ve listened to the all knowing Wanda Maximoff.”

The younger woman chuckles, smile turning genuine and serious,“ you deserve this.”

You nod and shortly hug her, a little kiss pressed to her hair. 

“And now I have to tell Kara.” She slides from her seat, phone suddenly in her hand, and fingers flying across the screen.

“Wait-” Lena frowns.

“Since when do you and Kara t-”

Wanda throws a dismissive hand up as she steps away,“ I need someone to talk to about this. Obviously.” 

Your mouth opens, unspoken words falling short as you sigh. You shouldn’t have expected anything less from the two women.“ I have a feeling those two aren’t going to let either of us hear the end of this.” 

Kara and Wanda had to watch from the sidelines as you and Lena pined after each other and now that you’re taking steps towards something more serious they can finally speak to both yours and Lena’s obliviousness. 

“I agree.” Her hand squeezes yours,“ it’ll be worth it though.” 

Just as you had Wanda, with a different love behind it, you kiss Lena’s head. Only for the CEO to quickly kiss your cheek. 

She’s not usually one for PDA but this, with you, it’s new and she’s loving it. A few out of character kisses is the least she could do. And they certainly happen a few more times through the night, a little more frequently as the crowd dwindles down.

Eventually it’s down to your team, Pepper, Rhodey, Maria, and Lena. All of you take up a spot on the common room couches. Most of the guys are nursing beers, Lena, Pepper, and Natasha sipping from wine glasses, and the rest of you drinking water. 

As tradition had been set, each of you have one singular present in your laps. Since it’s likely you all won’t be together Christmas Eve or day, you decided years ago to do Secret Santa and open the presents together the night before. 

Sam is currently gushing over the gun you’d made him. After he saw you using the first model during a mission he begged for one, with your added power effects of course. At the time you told him no but decided it’d make a good gift.

“Don’t say I never gave you nothin.” You tease him. 

He presses a hand to his heart, wide brown eyes staring at you gratefully,“ you’re the best.” 

You shrug, leaning back into the couch, arm brushing Lena’s,“ I know.”

Next up was Natasha. The small box in her lap had more than a few of you curious. 

She shifts in her seat, not a fan of all the attention on her. The quicker she opens it, the quicker you all look away. Her fingers tear the wrapping paper away and she freezes at whatever’s underneath. 

Literally everyone else freezes the second Bruce stands from his spot beside her and kneels. He grabs the gift from her lap, a small velvet box sitting in his hand, as the other grabs Natasha. 

“Nat.” The name leaves his lips nervously, his smile matching,“ I know things between us seemed, unrealistic, in the beginning. It seemed everything was against us all at once. But we were given another chance two years ago and I’ve fallen more in love with you every second that’s passed since.” 

Quiet sniffles come from a number of people in the room but you can’t bring yourself to look away from Natasha. A blank expression sits on your face and not a soul can tell what you’re thinking. And honestly it’s far too much in your head to even begin to answer that if asked. 

“Will you, Natasha Romanoff, do me the honor of becoming my wife?” 

Bruce’s question seems to pull the ex-assassin from whatever reverie she’s in. Green, teary eyes, rise from her lap. Moving right past Banner and landing on you.

A gentle squeeze to your hand grabs your attention and your gaze shifts, flicking from Natasha to Lena. Lighter green eyes stare back, full of concern and wonder, a soft unspoken question of ‘are you okay’ in them. 

The corner of your lips tug up in the slightest and you nod, then looking back to Natasha and Bruce. Oddly enough, the redhead is still looking at you. A small, genuine, smile on your lips makes her eyes widen unnoticeably to anyone else.

Just as you, a whirlwind of thoughts are in Natasha’s head, all focusing on you and the brunette man in front of her. She finally looks down to him. 

Bruce’s nervous smile and loving brown eyes sends her heart fluttering in a familiar way. Despite the confusion in her head, Natasha nods,“ yes.” 

Gleefully, the ring is taken out and slid onto her finger. Once again her gaze flicks to you but back just as quickly. Bruce kisses her and you look away from the passionate moment, even as everyone else cheers. 

A round of congratulations circles the group. While you contribute to it, your thoughts still run wild. 

It seems you and Lena aren’t the only ones stepping into a more serious relationship. Natasha and Bruce are now engaged.

Merry Fucking Christmas!

* * * * * *

Taglist: @username23345 @depressed-bi-bitch @fayhar @trikruismybitch @marvel-wlw @aznblossom​ @chicken-wang09​ @bitchtits15 @coxmicbabygirl​ @blackluthxr​ @aaron-despair​ @cpt-bolter​ @vxidnik​

[romantichopelessly]

Line Without a Hook

Happy holidays @romanapologist ! I am so so so sorry that this @sanderssidesgiftxchange gift comes to you so late, but I am very bad at checking my email and just found out that I was going to be your pinch hitter. I hope that you enjoy this Intruality hurt/comfort anyway. It came with some help from my wonderful friend @sunshineandteddybears as well.

Words: 2.6k

Summary: When Patton's entire world view is challenged--when he doesn't even know who he is supposed to be anymore, help comes from an unexpected source. Maybe things can be okay after all.

Warnings: This is hurt/comfort, so there is a happy ending. Before that there is descriptions of intrusive thoughts, guilt, depression and negative self talk.

----

Morality was a bit more complex than Thomas had been led to believe when he was younger. No, a lot more complex. When Thomas was just a kid the rules were clear cut. Simple. Don’t fight with your brothers. Do as your parents tell you to. Respect your teachers. Say please and thank you. Don’t lie.

Or do?

Were even those simple, childhood rules concrete anymore? Janus’s words suggested otherwise. And from what Patton could tell, the snake-like side was right. Had been right for a while now, just muffled by Patton’s own ignorance and… pride. His insistence that he had to be the one to help Thomas out of every situation. Was the foundation that Patton had built everything on--Thomas’s feelings, his motivations, his perception of the world--even stable?

Patton himself sure wasn’t.

Even now, sitting in his sepia-toned room, surrounded by stuffed animals and memorabilia that could usually comfort him, when Patton closed his eyes, he could see the green on the edges of his vision. He could hear his own voice, distorted and croaking, feel his heart racing again, the knowledge that he had hurt Thomas, his Thomas, and that he was responsible for years of grief-

Patton choked back on a sob. The lump in his throat was almost unbearable. He pressed his mouth into the back of his panda pillow pet to muffle the sound.

The only thing worse than sitting alone in his room with the crushing knowledge of his failure was the possibility that someone would hear him and come to check on him. The idea of one of the other sides--one of his friends--seeing him like this, weeks after the incident, was unacceptable.

He could just imagine the look of pity that would cross their face. Roman would look so heartbroken to find Patton in such a state. Virgil would probably extend the same amount of kindness that Patton had always shown when he found Virgil in the midst of a panic attack. (But had Patton been kind to do so? Or was it just another form of selfishness? An act born out of guilt for shutting Virgil out for so many years. Was Patton only kind because someone told him to be once? Did he actually love any of them at all? Or was he just destructive?) Logan- Patton was ashamed to admit that he was not sure how Logan would react. He was sure that it would be heartachingly sweet, though. He would probably say something poignant and true that would make Patton feel stupid for ever feeling bad in the first place.

If one of the d- the others found Patton…

It wasn’t like Patton had been avoiding them. In fact, in the days following the… incident… Patton had gone out of his way to seek them out. Janus had been wary at first, and it broke Patton’s heart a bit. The look of distrust in his two-toned eyes. The slight curl of his lip. Confusion? Suspicion? Patton couldn’t tell at the time, and although it had replayed again and again in his mind ever since, he still was not quite sure.

He liked to think that he was doing the right thing now. That he could make things right.

But who was he to judge that anymore?

It was obvious, now, that he had never known what was truly right. He was only just deluded enough, just stupid enough, to assume that his function as Thomas’s Morality was infallible. But his versions of right were wrong. Catastrophically so. Up was down. Left was right. Black was white. Or was gray the new goal? That sounded like something that Janus would say. He was still confused about it.

He was just so stupid.

Another sob was stuck in the back of Patton’s throat. His eyes burned, shame and guilt curling in his stomach in an ugly flash of putrid green and black.

He had carried Thomas’s heart on his sleeve and on his shoulders. And he had buckled under the pressure.

And now Thomas was cracked. And no one knew if it was fixable, least of all Patton.

Grounding. Patton knew, distantly, that he needed to ground himself. But it was borderline impossible with tears clouding his vision and pooling in the frames of his glasses.

How could anyone ground themselves when it felt like the ground was opening underneath them?

Did he even deserve to be grounded? Didn’t Patton deserve to feel this way? After everything that he had done to Thomas, to Virgil, by ignoring his obvious discomfort at Patton’s over exuberant displays of love, to Janus, by pushing his contributions aside for years, hell, even to Logan and Roman. Not to mention Remus, who Patton still did not have the guts to spend more than ten minutes alone with. Who was so, painfully, obviously bereft of love and craving attention. Who looked at Patton like he was a friend, like he was something to smile at, even though Patton had shown him time and time again the exact opposite.

A gasping sob wrenched its way out of Patton’s chest before he could muffle himself with his panda. He didn’t deserve that kind of a second chance. He really, really didn’t.

He deserved nothing other than to sit here alone in his room, with nothing other than his own guilt.

In fact, Patton should probably just stay there, in his room forever. He could do his work as Thomas’s heart and emotions from here, and really that was all that he had ever been any good for anyway.

There was a loud POP from the far side of Patton’s room that startled him into raising his head up from his pillow pet.

Across the room, just beside the door, stood Remus. Patton blinked, stunned. His hair was disheveled, which was not out of the ordinary, the silver streak that ran through his brunette locks sticking up in a wild cow lick. The purple eyeshadow that encircled his eyes gave the unique impression that he was startled. Or perhaps deranged.

“...Remus?” Patton’s voice came out in a weak, watery croak that made him wince. Tears were still fogging his vision, so he couldn’t quite see Remus’s reaction to such a sad sight.

“Pattycake?” The usually taunting nickname sounded surprisingly… soft. The Duke’s voice was almost… gentle. It nearly shocked Patton into stopping crying. Nearly. “What’s up?”

“I’m fine.” Patton responded immediately. Reflexively. He didn’t even bother to try for a smile though, even he knew that it would be weak.

“Don’t try that.” Remus’s voice was steady. He still hadn’t moved from his station at the door. “I could hear you bawling your eyes out from the hallway.”

Patton closed his eyes. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. He had been too loud. They had probably all heard him in here, crying like a baby over his own stupid mistakes. And now Remus was here, and could see him, all blotchy and red in the face, his hair messy from when he had been running his hands through it earlier before covering it with the hood of his cat hoodie. Remus was here, and he knew that Patton wasn’t okay right now. Remus was here, and he sounded… sympathetic.

Patton sniffed pathetically. “I’m sorry.” Remus blinked this time, tilting his head at an awkward angle. He looked confused. Patton continued on. “I didn’t mean to be so loud.”

Remus was silent for a moment. Patton took a couple of deep breaths, trying to stop himself from crying.

“Can I come sit with you?” Remus asked.

Patton swallowed. There was no use in denying the Duke. He pulled his knees closer to himself and gestured to the open space beside him. Remus had crossed the room in an instant and dropped unceremoniously down next to Patton.

“Who upset you?”

Patton looked up, surprised once again. It wasn’t unusual for Remus to say shocking or surprising things, he embodied Thomas’s intrusive thoughts. However, the level of… concern that Remus was showing at the moment was not something that Patton expected.

“If someone said something to you, I can remove their toenails and glue them to their forehead for you.”

Patton bit back a wince. That was more like the Remus that he was becoming used to.

“No one.” Patton answered, truthfully. Remus looked skeptical, so he continued. “No one said anything to me, really. I just… Get down sometimes.”

Remus looked confused. “You mean like depression?”

Patton curled back at the word, as though it were a physical blow.

“Well, fuck, Patty!” Remus sounded much brighter now, and when Patton looked back up, he could see that the other side was smiling. “You could have just said so!”

“It’s not just… that.” Even now, Patton was unable to say it. Unable to admit to it. “I’ve been… thinking.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

The joke startled a chuckle from Patton. It was choked and sad sounding, but it made Remus wiggle proudly nevertheless. Patton sniffed again. “No, not like that, sorry. I just mean that I’ve been… thinking about Thomas. About everything that’s been changing lately.” Patton stared across the room at a painting by 12 year old Thomas that was hanging on his wall. “About… how I’ve been holding him back. I can’t stop thinking about it, no matter what I do to try and fix things.”

“Then don’t!”

Patton blinked in confusion, tilting his head in confusion as he sniffed one more. “Huh?” he couldn’t help but mumble out. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t try to fix things.” The Duke grinned widely, showing off teeth. He seemed so proud of himself, but Patton was still confused. How could he not try to fix things? He kept messing things up, so he had to find a way to do it right this time. He needed to. “But-” A hand clamped onto his back, making him startle and tense. It left just as quickly as it came, Remus pulling it away as if he had been burned.

“Oops, sorry. Forgot to ask if that was okay.”

Patton frowned. He hadn’t meant to make the other side feel like touching him had been a bad thing. He typically loved physical affection! He just hadn't expected it, that’s all! But now he went and made Remus feel bad, because apparently that was all he could do lately-

“Anyways,” the Duke continued, his tone unbothered, “you don’t have to fix everything, Pattycakes. Especially by yourself. Sometimes things aren’t as broken as you think they are, and don’t really need fixing at all. Sometimes things fix better when you leave them alone and let time work itself out. And sometimes, you take it to a specialist who knows better than you on how to fix it.” That sounded… rather wise. It was more than a bit unexpected, coming from a side that was currently picking his nose as he gave his advice. But Patton was quickly learning that the others had more to offer than their appearance suggested.

Still... “How do I know which kind of thing this is?”

“You don’t.” Well, that was disappointing. “At least, I never do. Not right away. After a while you start to figure it out, but even then you can still mess up sometimes. But that’s okay.” Grinning a little more softly, Remus looked right into Patton’s eyes. “No matter what, you got others around who can help you. Even when you don’t think you need it, or aren’t allowed to ask for it, they’re there. Like plumbers or doctors! Better to use them than to play handyman or diagnose yourself with WebMD. Get your kids fucking vaccinated Karen!”

A startled laugh escaped Patton at that. He was a little in disbelief over the suddenness of it, but he sounded a little less like he was going to burst into more tears.

Remus seemed to take that as a victory as he cackled quietly himself. “I’m not sure if anything I’m saying makes any sense, but things are gonna be okay. Your world’s been shaken to its core, but it’s still in one piece. Mostly. Just gotta adapt now.” Patton rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve, they felt puffy and a little itchy, as he hummed in thought. “But what about Thomas and everyone else? The pain I’ve caused them…” “Did you say sorry?”

“Well, yes-” “Then the only thing you can do now is learn and work to do better next time.” Remus sounded so sure, so certain. But it couldn’t be that easy could it? “You don’t gotta keep apologizing for the same stuff. We’ve all done bad things before, me especially! Thomas is still standing, and not too worse for wear.” He couldn’t deny the truth of that. Thomas was still more or less in one piece. “He’ll be okay, and so will we. So will you.”

A small smile formed on Patton’s lips. It wobbled and didn’t go very far, but it was genuine. It was hard to shake away his worries, his fears, of the damage he caused and the future, how he’d fit in it. But Remus’s words helped. Made the knot in his chest loosen just a bit. “Thank you Remus.” The Duke stared wide eyed at him, suddenly seeming shocked and dazed. “Remus?”

The other jumped, snapping out of whatever spell he was under. “H-huh? Oh!” Dusting of pink coated Remus’ cheeks, stretched up as he smiled brightly. “Sorry. Not used to people thanking me. Also your smile is fucking adorable.” Now it was Patton’s turn for pinkened cheeks. “Oooooh that little blush is cute too! And it goes to your ears!”

Oh, that was embarrassing.

“Stoooooop!” He whined out, burying his now red face into his pillow pet again.

“Oh. Not okay to say, gotcha.” Patton’s head shot up at that, in time to see Remus frown down at his shoes. “You know I just sorta blurt out everything that comes to mind.”

“No, it’s okay.” Patton said, uncurling a little bit more. “I just felt embarrassed that’s all. It’s silly.” Remus’s frown deepened and he shook his head.

“Silly isn’t bad, but your feelings aren’t silly. So if you don’t like it, just say so. It’s not gonna hurt me any.” It was an easy out Remus was giving him, allowing him a chance to put barriers between them. But Patton was trying to move past those, wanted to move past them.

“No, it’s okay. I promise.” Slowly, Patton reached out and stuck out his pinky. “Pinky promise.” Remus snorted at that, but there was a playful gleam in his eyes. He wrapped his own pinky, that thankfully wasn’t from the nose picking hand, around Patton’s and cackled.

“In Japan, when someone makes a pinky promise they have a saying that threatens the person promising to not lie, or else they’ll cut off their finger and punch them ten thousand times and make them swallow a thousand needles.” That was a very gruesome image that Patton wished he hadn’t pictured. “Don’t worry though, I won’t do that to you. I like your hands too much.”

“O-oh?” Remus liked his hands? That was nice.. Maybe? “Why my hands?” “Well I like everything about you Pattycakes. So naturally, hands fall under that category.” Heat returned to Patton’s cheeks, blooming them in pink once more. “Awww the blush is back!” Remus shrieked with glee, kicking his feet wildly. “Wanna watch a movie?” The non sequitur nature of the question had the moral aspect blinking before he could fully process it.

“Um..” He didn’t really want to leave his room just yet, he didn’t feel quite ready. But a movie sounded nice, and he found himself wanting to spend more time in the Duke’s company. “Can we watch it in here?”

“You got it Pattycakes!”

Relief and a surprising… warmth filled him at that, his smile growing a little bit more. “Thanks.”

[giveemhales]

Moodboards for Sterek AUs: 22/?

For @sterekvalentineweek Day 3

Secret Crush

4 times Stiles gave Derek a valentine, and 1 time Derek decided to return the favor.

The story can be read under the cut or on AO3!

1st grade

Derek was new, and that’s what causes the whole fiasco.

Well, not exactly new. He had been at the school since the school year had started back in August, and it was now February. But he was new in that it’s the first year anyone in his family has ever attended public school. Born into a powerful pack of werewolves with a history spanning back centuries, he had been raised surrounded only by werewolves and humans who knew about the supernatural. None of his relatives had ever gone to public school, as the risk was deemed too great to send children out in public where they may accidentally reveal their true nature. Derek and his siblings were supposed to be home-schooled, as was tradition.

However, times were changing, and their emissary had suggested the children should start attending public school. Not only was it to help the children learn how to handle being around humans and in public, but also the hunters were becoming more aggressive, and it was advised that they act as much like normal humans as possible so as not to raise suspicion.

So Derek and his older sister, Laura, were the first werewolves in the Hale pack history to go to public school. It was their first year for both of them, Derek in first grade and Laura in second. They had spent the years before learning how to control their shift under the guise of home-schooling, and the family was confident they would blend right in. 

They did blend in, for the most part, never letting their eyes change color and holding back growls no matter how angry they became. But apparently, there was more to being human than just looking the part. There were all these rules and customs that everyone seemed to know except them. Derek rarely minded his family’s social faux pas, honestly never really noticing them. But on this one occasion, everyone noticed, and he was particularly upset.

It was Valentine’s Day, a holiday which his family never celebrated (why did humans need a holiday to show their adoration for their mates? How strange). The lack of experience with the holiday is why nobody in the family realized it was customary to bring “valentines” to school to share with classmates, and that’s why he arrived empty-handed. 

When all the other students set up their boxes in which to receive treats, he watched in confusion, which morphed into dawning horror when he realized everyone had gifts to hand out except for him.

Derek had hoped he could slip under the radar, receive the gifts like everyone else and then maybe bring double the treats next year to make up for it. 

The teacher had a different idea. The teacher scolded him in front of the whole class for being irresponsible and inconsiderate, and told him that if he had nothing to share, then nobody could share with him. He had to sit in the corner by himself and think about what he had done wrong (he was 6 years old, he didn’t have money or a calendar, this hardly seemed like his fault).

So Derek sat in the corner by himself, not only having to hear all of the other kids laugh and have a great time, but also smell the delicious treats thanks to his werewolf nose. He was used to being on his own at school, not having made any real friends, but it hurt so much more knowing he was being purposefully excluded. He had to fight hard to hold back his claws, and even harder to fight back tears. He hated this stupid school and the stupid humans in it and their stupid rules and traditions and just wanted to go home. 

When the school day was finally, blessedly over, Derek shuffled out of the room with his head bowed and shoulders hunched, not wanting to see the smiles on all of the other kids’ faces and not wanting them to see the frown on his, unable to help feeling like they were mocking him.

He made it out the front doors of the school, and thought he was finally free, but stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He turned with a scowl. It was a student in his class named Stiles. Derek wasn’t really friends with him. They had played together at recess a couple of times and he seemed funny and nice, but it wasn’t like they had ever spoken outside of school.

Derek began to wonder if he was wrong in his categorization of Stiles as nice, because he could think of no reason for any of his classmates to stop him except to gloat. Before Stiles had even said anything, Derek was already seething, thinking about the treat Stiles had brought that everyone had gotten to try except for him. While most of the students had just brought candy, Stiles had brought clearly homemade sugar cookies, and the scent had had Derek salivating in his isolation. 

Before he could snap at Stiles in anger, however, Stiles thrust his hands forward in an offering. Derek looked down and was surprised to see he was holding two cookies, each partially covered by a napkin.

“Sorry Mrs. Johnson was so mean to you today. She said that we weren’t allowed to give you any valentines but I think that’s mean and dumb and I don’t follow mean and dumb rules. So I saved you a cookie. Actually, I saved you two cookies, one of them is for your sister because I figure if you didn’t bring any valentines then she probably didn’t either and might have also not been allowed any treats, which would be so sad because what’s the point of Valentine’s day besides the treats. If you eat them both, though, that’s okay because you didn’t get any candy or anything so I think you probably deserve two cookies. I would give you even more cookies but I only had the one that was already for you, and then the extra one my mom packed in my lunch box. I wanted to eat that one and then I also wanted to eat yours but I realized I shouldn’t because my mom already gave me a cookie last night so I really don’t need another and also my mom bakes all the time and most people don’t get to try the greatness of her cookies and so I have a respons- responsabl- responsibit- it’s my job to share the cookies.” 

Stiles finally quit his rambling to stare expectantly at Derek, who was staring back in shock. He shoved his hands forward again, until Derek finally took the offered cookies.

Derek didn’t even get the chance to say thank you before Stiles was talking again, telling some story about a time he forgot his shoes at home and how that was way worse than forgetting some valentines. He kept talking before he noticed the bus was beginning to leave, and sprinted off without so much as a goodbye. 

Derek looked down once again at the cookies, and saw there was a note included. Written on a sticky note in first-grader scrawl, it said Sorry the teacher is so mean. You can be my BVF (best valentine forever). Valentine was written three different times, the first two times crossed out as he clearly wasn’t positive how the word was spelled.

Derek did end up giving the second cookie to Laura, and he found he didn’t mind because he knew the note was all his.  

4th grade

Derek still didn’t particularly care for Valentine’s Day, his introduction to the holiday forever tainting his opinion, but he had still come to find himself excited about the impending sugar. 

There was a storm cloud over this Valentine’s Day, though, at least for Derek and definitely for Stiles. Ever since first grade, Derek had looked forward to the homemade treats Stiles would bring, baked with love by his mother.

Derek knew that wouldn’t be the case on this day, though, because Stiles’ mother had passed away a couple of months before.

Everyone in the small town knew about it, rumors constantly spreading about the sheriff’s new drinking habits. Nobody seemed to notice the effect it had on the young boy. But Derek did.

Stiles had become more withdrawn in the months leading up to his mother’s death, presumably having to deal with her illness, but it was like he shut down once she was gone. The boy who once talked a mile a minute now was silent, except for the occasional whispers to his best friend. His absences became more frequent, and he stopped bringing a lunch to school, instead having to buy cafeteria food he would rarely eat. The worst part though was the scent of grief that constantly clung to him.

Derek saw how badly he was affected and could only hope that he would heal with time. Derek wished he knew how to help, but he still hadn’t even figured out how to make friends, let alone how to help someone cope with the loss of a parent.

So Derek knew he wouldn’t be getting any baked goods on this day, that he probably wouldn’t be receiving anything from Stiles. He just hoped that the teacher wasn’t as rude about it as his first-grade teacher had been.

Derek was proven wrong though. Stiles hadn’t brought cookies or anything of the like, but he had brought valentines. For every classmate, he had a red piece of paper which he had folded into a heart and marked with their names. They weren’t perfect, but they were definitely better than most nine-year-olds could do. 

Derek was so touched at the small gift, and seethed when he saw none of the other students saw it for what it was. He even saw one student throw their heart in the trash (which Derek made a point to dig out and keep for himself because that heart was something Stiles had spent time on and deserved to be cherished). None of the students realized how kind Stiles was. That while dealing with grief, which was probably made even worse with the holiday bringing on a reminder of a tradition he could no longer partake in, and a father who himself was probably still grieving and didn’t remember he was supposed to get valentines for his son, Stiles had still made sure he had something to give to his classmates. This gift was far more valuable than anything any other student had brought. 

Derek was even more touched when he realized that there was a note written inside of the heart, too. He carefully unfolded it, making sure to keep track of how he did it so he would be able to refold it, and read what was inside.

Don’t tell Scott, but you’re still my favorite Valentine.

It was made even better when he realized the other heart he had, the one from the trash, had no note, meaning Stiles had written a note especially for Derek. 

Derek gave Stiles the warmest smile he could from across the room and vowed to keep that note forever. 

6th grade

Derek was quick to realize Valentine’s Day was not the same in middle school as in elementary. For one, there was no making mailboxes or handing out valentines. If you wanted to celebrate the holiday, you had to do it on your own time. 

The second major difference was that “like-liking” someone was a thing, and lots of girls “like-liked” Derek. Derek was apparently one of the cutest guys in the grade, and that helped immensely with his popularity. He had finally been able to make some friends, which was nice. 

Derek wasn’t really a fan of all of the attention he got at school, though. He would have preferred to just spend time with the couple of best friends he had made, and ignore all of the people who wanted to be his friend solely for his status.

He knew Valentine’s Day would give some girls the perfect opportunity to confess their “feelings” for him (they didn’t even know him!) and Derek was not looking forward to it.

Derek had been correct in his assumption, and by the end of the day, three different girls had asked to be his Valentine, and he had to kindly reject them all. It was far too much for him, and he was exhausted by the end of the day. 

Before he could go home, though, he had to stop at his locker to grab a textbook he needed for class.

He was surprised, and a little bit disturbed, to find a box of chocolates in his locker. It was definitely too big for someone to just slip through the slots, so someone would have had to break into his locker to get it there. 

Derek immediately felt all of his annoyance of the day growing. Why could these girls not leave him alone?

However, when he leaned in to grab the box, he caught a whiff of a scent that had him calming down.

Stiles.

Suddenly, Derek found he wasn’t too upset. It wasn’t at all surprising that the boy knew how to break into lockers, and Derek found himself inexplicably preening at the thought that the boy still wanted to be his Valentine.

Taped to the bottom of the box was a typed note with no signature, clearly meant to anonymous. Derek likely never would have known who it was if it wasn’t for his werewolf senses.

The note simply read “Why don’t they let us hand out candy anymore? Middle school is lame. Don’t worry, I won’t let them ruin the holiday for you (everyone knows the sweets are the whole point). Hope you enjoy the chocolates, valentine.”

On second thought, Derek realized he probably would have been able to figure out it was Stiles, just based on the note. He could practically hear the words in Stiles’ voice. He would still let him think he got away with being anonymous, though.    

Maybe middle school Valentine’s Days weren’t so bad, after all. 

10th grade

Derek just knew this was going to be the worst Valentine’s Day ever, and he wished that he could just skip the whole day. He would totally pretend to be sick so he could stay home except that werewolves can’t get sick so he doubted that would fly with his parents.

Derek had broken up with his girlfriend, Paige, just a couple of weeks before. He knew that in the grand scheme of things they weren’t that serious, they hadn’t even been together for a whole year, but he had felt like he was madly in love with her. 

He was healing, of course, and, for the most part, had moved on. But Valentine’s Day would just be a reminder of what he was missing (it stung every time he remembered he never got the chance to celebrate Valentine’s Day with her, he had been secretly excited to finally have a real significant other to be romantic with). That, and due to his popular status, the day would either bring on pitying looks from all of the students who thought his relationship was somehow their business, or flirting from girls who thought they now had a chance. Knowing his luck, probably a combination of both. 

Derek groaned when he walked into his first-period history class and saw a heart-shaped balloon tied to the back of the desk he usually sat at. This was absolutely the last thing he wanted to deal with. He thought about just sitting at a different desk but figured it was better to go ahead and throw away the balloon before class started so as to avoid drawing any attention. 

When he got to his desk, he saw a note tied to the string of the balloon. He opened it and a smile bloomed on his face when he was met with typed words.

Of course! He had been so focused on Paige that he forgot about the annual tradition Stiles had begun in the sixth grade of leaving secret gifts with notes for Derek. 

Stiles wasn’t even in the class so Derek didn’t even know how he had known which desk was his, but at this point, nothing Stiles did could really surprise him. 

I know they may not be the usual sweets, but I figure with this, you can tell anyone who bothers you that you already have a valentine. You know I’ve always got your back, Valentine.

The note just reconfirmed for Derek that it was from Stiles.

The gift cheered him up immensely, and he felt his qualms about the day beginning to melt away.

~~~

The day dragged on until lunch, made better by the balloon Derek carted around, which actually did help keep people away.

Derek was sitting at his usual spot with his friends when he hears a commotion from the other side of the cafeteria, and turned to see what was going on.

It seemed everyone turned to look, although he’s not sure if they can all hear. It was easy enough with his enhanced senses, though.

Derek could make out Stiles standing up on a table, looking down at a girl with strawberry blonde hair. The rest of the people at the table had faces ranging from shock to embarrassment, except for one guy who looked like he was fuming. Derek honestly didn’t know if that table was where Stiles usually sat, or if he had just decided to crash.

“Lydia, today, on the most romantic day of the year, I must make my feelings known. I know you are a goddess and I am a mere mortal, but my heart sings for you and I can no longer hide it. Reject your other suitors, for none see how brightly you shine like I do. Please accept this token of my affection, and be my Valentine.” Stiles opened up a thin box he had been holding to reveal a heart-shaped cookie cake.

Derek cringed in second-hand embarrassment, especially when he saw people giggling and filming the whole thing.

“I’ll think about it,” the girl responded in an airy voice. She was too far away that Derek couldn’t tell if she was being mocking or serious.

Stiles’ grin didn’t leave his face as he stepped down from the table. Derek saw him offer Lydia the cookie cake, but she held her hand up in rejection. Stiles shrugged and held the box closer, then grabbed his friend, who Derek recognized as his best friend Scott, by the shoulder and rushed out of the cafeteria.

Derek found himself fuming. At first, he thought it was at the way everyone was laughing at Stiles after he put himself out there, and the way the girl didn’t even appreciate what he had done. But he realized that wasn’t what it was, not really.

It was jealousy.

Derek had always cherished the tradition he had going on with Stiles (although he supposed it was mostly one-sided and it was secret), and it had made him feel special. Now he felt like it meant nothing. It was nothing more than Stiles feeling bad for the kid who once had a bad Valentine’s Day.

Derek abruptly shoved away from his table and stood up. He grumbled an excuse about having to be somewhere and stomped out of the cafeteria, annoyed he had to drag the balloon from Stiles with him. All he wanted was to pop the dumb balloon and shove it in a trash can, but knew he would regret it if he decided to do that in front of a cafeteria full of people.

As Derek stormed down the, thankfully empty, hallway, he heard a voice. He froze when he recognized that it was Stiles’ voice. He immediately hid himself against the wall, then rolled his eyes when he realized Stiles wasn’t even coming toward him, but seemed to be having a conversation in the hallway perpendicular to the one Derek was in. Derek knew there was no reason to, but he couldn’t help but eavesdrop.

“I just don’t understand why you did that! You know Lydia would never go for you!” That was Scott’s voice, and Derek couldn’t help but feel offended on Stiles’ behalf. 

“Thank you for your vote of confidence, Scott. I feel like the more pressing issue that you could have mentioned is the fact that I don’t even swing that way, which would have been a much less hurtful thing to say.” 

Derek froze. Had he heard that correctly? He felt guilty realizing he had listened to Stiles out himself, but felt frozen in his spot.

Scott sighed explosively. “Okay, so then why did you do it?”

Stiles gave an equally dramatic sigh. “Because Lydia asked me to, duh. Besides the fact I’m too afraid of her to say no, she gave a compelling argument. She’s currently fighting with Jackson and wanted to piss him off and make him jealous, and you know I’m always down to piss Jackson off. Plus, she said she would get a cookie cake and let me keep it, which, as you can see, she did. Plus, it’s not like I have a reputation to uphold. This isn’t even the most embarrassing thing I’ve done this year.”

Scott laughed. “Oh yeah, you mean like wooing the same person for years but not even telling them it’s you? Or talking to them?”

Stiles hissed out a “shut up” in anger, but Derek tuned out the rest of the conversation, feeling like he was on cloud nine. 

Scott must have been talking about all of the gifts Stiles had been giving to Derek. Which meant it did mean something, and that Stiles actually had feelings for Derek. Not for Lydia, who didn’t even appreciate Stiles.

Derek spent the rest of the day feeling like he was floating, proudly holding his balloon through the hallways. It wasn’t until the end of the day that Derek that the way he was reacting was a bit over the top unless…

Did Derek also have feelings for Stiles?

12th grade

Derek felt like his heart was about to pound out of his chest, and he was certain he had already sweat through his shirt. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this nervous. 

It was Valentine’s Day, his last one before he went to college. He knew if he didn’t do anything, it would be fine. Stiles would probably give him an anonymous gift like every year, and it would be a nice thing to reminisce about one day. It would be the same as always.

But Derek decided he couldn’t let things stay the same, and he was about to throw a wrench in Stiles’ plans. 

He wasn’t sure at what point he had begun to develop feelings for Stiles, but he had realized in tenth grade after he heard about Stiles’ feelings that they were definitely there, and at this point they had become too deep to ignore. He wanted to be Stiles’ valentine but he wanted it to be for real this time, and the only way to make that happen was by telling him. And desperately hoping that he hadn’t completely misinterpreted everything.

Derek had arrived to school over half an hour early, parking right next to Stiles’ usual spot to make sure he didn’t miss him. He wanted to catch him in the parking lot, to hopefully stay out of the way of prying eyes. 

It had seemed like a good idea, but now he was left stewing in his own anxiety, thinking about everything that could go wrong and wondering if he should back out now before it was too late. He even wondered if he shouldn’t have made his younger sister hitch a ride with someone else so that at the very least he would have company, but he knew she would only make him more stressed. Sisters were evil like that.

Fifteen minutes before school began and Stiles finally arrived.

It was now or never. 

Derek got out of his car just as Stiles did, and called his name. Stiles jumped in shock and turned to face Derek. Derek caught a whiff of nerves off of him, but he didn’t run, so at least that was a good start.

“Can I talk to you real quick?”

Stiles looked surprised, but he nodded and approached Derek. “Uh, sure. Did you want to go inside, or…”

“No, we can talk out here. Actually, it’s better out here, because I have some stuff. In my car, I mean. So it’s easier if it’s here and I don’t have to carry it and we can just talk here now.” Derek realized none of what he was saying was making sense, and felt dread pool in his stomach when he saw the confusion growing on Stiles’ face. God, why was this so hard?

“I just wanted to say- uh- Happy Valentine’s Day. Well, that wasn’t all I wanted to say, but- One sec.” Derek ducked into the back of his car, glad he had an excuse to collect himself for a moment.

When he reemerged, it was with a box which he placed on top of his trunk. He was grateful to see that Stiles hadn’t fled.

Derek looked down at the box, avoiding eye contact with Stiles to the best of his ability, and began pulling out items one by one. “In second grade, you brought me a brownie, one that had heart-shaped sprinkles that your mother had baked. In third grade, it was an equally delicious cupcake.” He pulled out a brownie and cupcake (both store-bought and certainly not as good as Stiles’ mother’s baked goods, but baking was not his strong suit) and shoved both into Stiles’ hands, continuing on before Stiles could interrupt him. “In fourth grade, it was a folded heart, which I now realize was very impressive, since I’m about double the age you were when you made ones for the whole class and just this one took me about 20 tries.” He gave out a self-deprecating laugh, and once again handed the item to Stiles. “In fifth grade, it was a heart-shaped lollipop. In sixth, a box of chocolates. Seventh, conversation hearts.” He realized Stiles’ hands were too full to hold anything else, and began placing the items onto the trunk next to the box instead. “In eighth grade, it was a teddy bear. Freshman year, it was chocolate covered strawberries. Sophomore year, you gave me a heart-shaped balloon, which was actually quite useful.” He had to lean back into his car to grab the balloon, since it had been too big for the box. “Last year, it was roses. And all of it began in first grade, when you decided the nobody kid in the class with no friends deserved to have something nice, no matter what the teacher said, when you gave me the best cookie I have, to this day, ever had. You told me then, and for years to come, that I was your valentine. And as much as I loved that, I want something more. Will you be my real valentine? Will you be mine?” Finally, he pulled out a heart-shaped cookie, covered with pink icing and the words Be Mine written on top.

Derek finally looked up at Stiles, who had his mouth open in shock. He smelled like a myriad of emotions, and Derek was having difficulty getting a read on him. As the seconds passed, he began to get the sinking feeling he had royally fucked up.

“Are you kidding me?” Stiles finally burst out, and barrelled on before Derek could even figure out what part he was reacting to. “You’ve ruined my ten-year plan! I have been secretly wooing you- or at least I thought it was secret- for years, and today was going to be the grand finale! I was going to confess that it was me all along and then I was going to offer you a kiss and if it was weird and you weren’t interested I had some chocolate kisses to give you so I could play it off all cool, but then if you were interested we were going to have a great, romantic first kiss. But you have out-romanced me in one fell swoop! How dare you!”

Derek stared back in shock. He felt.. actually he had no idea how he felt and wasn’t even sure what part of that he was supposed to react to first.

“Well, what do you have to say for yourself?” Stiles demanded, although Derek could see the smile hidden on his face.

“Uh… is a kiss still on the table?”

“Chocolate or real?”

“What do you think?”

Stiles pretended to think about it for a moment. “Well, after that grand romantic gesture, I would say a real kiss. But I do know you have a sweet tooth, so it’s hard to say for sure…”

“How about this? You kiss me now, and then after school we go on a date and finish that whole bag of kisses together. And all this store-bought shit I got you. Sound like a good compromise to you?”

Stiles smirked. “Sounds perfect, Valentine.”

After that, Derek helped Stiles put all of the gifts into his Jeep, and then they walked hand and hand to the school, not even caring they were probably late at this point.

Suddenly, a thought hit Derek, and he froze, causing Stiles to stumble and then turn to him with an expectant eyebrow raised.

“Wait, you said ten-year plan. Have you actually been wooing me this whole time?”

Stiles blushed, and it was the prettiest thing Derek had ever seen. “Well, not exactly. But after I gave you that cookie in first grade, I saw the way your eyes lit up, and when you smiled at me, well, my little 6-year-old heart knew you were going to be the only Valentine I’d ever need.”