#and by 'formatting' i literally just mean 'small text' :'D

[skyeqt]

I wrote a quine, without strings, in a calculator

Okay so I should probably clarify some things, the calculator in question (dc) is more of a "calculating tool", it is built into most linux distributions, and it is a command line tool. I should also clarify "without strings", because dc itself does support strings, and I do actually use strings, however, I do not use string literals (I'll explain that more later), and I only use strings that are 1 character long at most.

So first of all, why did I decide to do this, well, this all started when I found a neat quine for dc:

[91Pn[dx]93Pn]dx

If you're curious about how this works, and what I turned it into, it'll be under the cut, for more technical people, you can skip or skim the first text block, after that is when it gets interesting.

So first of all, what is a quine, a quine is a computer program that outputs its own source code, this is easier said than done, the major problem is one of information, the process of executing source code normally means a lot of code, for a little output, but for a quine you want the exact same amount of code and output. First of all, let's explain dc "code" itself, and then this example. Dc uses reverse polish notation, and is stack-based and arbitrary precision. Now for the nerds reading this, you already understand this, for everybody else's benefit, let's start at the beginning, reverse polish notation means what you'd write as 1+1 normally (infix notation), would instead be written as 1 1 +, this seems weird, but for computers, makes a lot of sense, you need to tell it the numbers first, and then what you want to do with them. Arbitrary precision is quite easy to explain, this means it can handle numbers as big, or as small, or with as many decimal points as you want, it will just get slower the more complex it gets, most calculators are fixed precision, have you ever done a calculation so large you get "Infinity" out the other end? That just means it can't handle a bigger number, and wants to tell you that in an easy to understand way, big number=infinity. Now as for stack based, you can think of a stack a bit pile a pile of stuff, if you take something off, you're probably taking it off the top, and if you put something on, you're probably also putting it ontop. So here you can imagine a tower of numbers, when I write 1 1 +, what I'm actually doing is throwing 1 onto the tower, twice, and then the + symbol says "hey take 2 numbers of the top, add them, and throw the result back on", and so the stack will look like: 1 then 1, 1, then during the add it has nothing, then it has a 2. I'm going to start speeding up a bit here, most of dc works this way: you have commands that deal with the stack itself, commands that do maths, and commands that do "side things". Most* of these are 1 letter long, for example, what if I want to write the 1+1 example a little differently, I could do 1d+, this puts 1 on the stack (the pile of numbers), then duplicates it, so you have two 1s now, and then adds those, simple enough. Lets move onto something a little more complex, let's multiply, what if I take 10 10 * well I get 100 on the stack, like you may expect, but this isn't output yet, we can print it with p, and sure enough we see the 100, I can print the entire stack with f, which is just 100 too for now, I can print it slightly differently with n, I'll get into that later, or I can print with P which uhhhh "d", what happened there? Well you see d is character 100 in ASCII, what exactly ASCII is, if you don't know, don't worry, just think of it as a big list of letters, with corresponding numbers. And final piece of knowledge here will be, what is a string, well it's basically just some text, like this post! Although normally a lot shorter, and without all the fancy formatting. Now with all that out of the way, how does the quine I started with actually work?

From here it's going to get more technical, if you're lost, don't worry, it will get even more technical later :). So in dc, you make a string with [text], so if we look at the example again, pasted here for your convenience

[91Pn[dx]93Pn]dx

it makes one long string at the start, this string goes onto the stack, and then gets duplicated, so it's on the stack twice, then it's executed as a macro. In technical language, this is just an eval really, in less technical language, it just means take that text, and treat it like more commands, so you may see, it starts with 91P, 91 is the ASCII character code for [, which then gets printed out, not coincidentally, this is the start of the program itself. Now the "n" that comes afterwards, as I said earlier, this is a special type of print, this means print without newline (P doesn't use newlines either), which means we can keep printing without having to worry about everything being on separate lines, now what is it printing? Well what's on top of the stack, oh look, it's the copy of the entire string, which once again not coincidentally, is the entire inside of the brackets, so now we've already printed out the majority of the program, now dx is thrown on the stack, which as you may notice is the ending of the program, but we won't print it yet, we'll first print 93 as a character, which is "]", and then print dx, and this completes the quine, the output is now exactly the same as the input. Now, I found this some time ago, and uncovered it again in my command history, it's interesting, sure, but you may notice it's not very... complicated, the majority of the program is just stored as a string, so it already has access to 90% of itself from the start, and just has to do some extra odd jobs to become a full quine, I wanted to make this worse. I started modifying it, doing some odd things, which I won't go into, I wanted to remove the numbers, replacing it entirely with calculations from numbers I already have access to, like the length of a string, this wasn't so hard, but then I hit on what this post is about "can I make this without using string literals"

Can I make this without using string literals?

Yes, I can! And it took a whole day. I'll start by explaining what a string literal is, but this will largely be the end of my explaining, from here it's about to get so technical and I don't want to spend all day explaining things and make this post even longer than it's already going to be. A string literal is basically just the [text] you saw earlier, it's making a string by just, writing out the string. In dc there's only 1 other way to make a string, the "a" command, which converts a number, into a 1 character string, using the number as an ASCII character code. Strings in dc are immutable, you can only print, execute, and move them around with the usual stack operations, you cannot concatenate, you cannot modify in any way, the only other things you can do with a string, is grab the first character, or count the characters, but as I just explained, our only way to make strings creates a 1 character string, which cannot be extended, so the first character is just, the entire thing, and the length is always 1, so neither of these are useful to us. So, now we understand what the restriction of no string literals really is (there are more knock on restrictions I'll bring up later), let's get into the meat of it, how I did it.

So I've just discussed the way I'll be outputting the text (this quine will need text, since all the outputting commands are text!), with the "a" command and the single character strings it produces, let's now figure out some more restrictions. So any programmers reading this are going to be horrified by what I'm about to say. If I remove string literals, dc is no longer Turing Complete, I am trying to write a quine in a language (subset) that is not Turing Complete, and can only output 1 character at a time**. You can't loop in dc, but you can recurse, with macros, which are effectively just evaling a string, you can recurse, since these still operate on the main stack, registers, arrays, etc, they can't be passed or return anything, but this doesn't matter. Now I cannot do this, because if I only have 1 character strings via "a" then I can't create a macro that does useful work, and executes something, since that would require more than 1 command in it. So I am limited to only linear execution***. Now lets get into the architecture of this quine, and finally address all these asterisks, since they're finally about to be relevant, I started with a lot of ideas for how I'd architect these, I call these very creatively by their command structure, dScax/dSax, rotate-based execution, all-at-once stack flipping, or the worst of them all, LdzRz1-RSax (this one is just an extension of rotate-based execution), I won't bother explaining these, since these are all failed ideas, although if anybody is really curious, I might explain some other time, for now, I'll focus on the one that worked, K1+dk: ; ;ax, or if you really want to try to shoehorn a name, Kdkax execution, now, anybody intimately familiar with dc, will probably be going "what the fuck are you doing", and rightly so, so now, let's finally address the asterisks, and get into what Kdkax execution actually means, and how I used it.

*"Most commands are 1 character long, but there are exceptions, S, L, s, l, :, ; and comparisons, only : and ; are relevant here, so I won't bother with the rest, although some of the previous architectures used S and L as you may have seen. : and ; are the array operations, there are 256 arrays in dc, each one named after a character, if I want to store into array "a" I will write :a, a 2 character sequence, same for loading from array "a" ;a, I'll get into exactly how these work later **I can only output 1 character at a time with p, P, and n, but f can output multiple characters, the only catch being it puts a newline between each element of the stack, and because I can only put 1 character into each stack element, it's a newline between each character for me (except for numbers). I'll get into what this means exactly later ***I can do non-linear execution, and in fact, it was required to make this work, but I can only do this via single character macros, which is, quite the restriction to put it lightly

So I feel like I've been dancing around it now, what does my quine actually look like, well, I wanted to keep things similar to the original, where I write a program, I store it, then I output it verbatim, with some cleanup work. However, I can't store the program as strings, or even characters, I instead need to store it as numbers, and the easiest way to do this, is to store it as the char codes for dc commands, so if I want to execute my 1d+ example from before, I instead store it as 49 100 43, which when you convert them back to characters, and then execute them in sequence, to do the same thing, except I can store them, which means I can output them again, without needing to re-create them, this will come in handy later. So, well how do I execute them, well, ax is the sequence that really matters here, and it's something all my architectures have in common, it converts them to a character, then executes them, in that order, not so hard, except, I'm not storing them anymore, well then if you're familiar with dc, you might come across my first idea, dScax, which, for reasons you will understand later, became dSax, this comes close to working, it does store the numbers in a register, and execute them, but this didn't really end up working so well. I think the next most important thing to discuss though, is how I'm outputting, as I mentioned earlier "f" will be my best friend, this outputs the entire stack, this is basically the whole reason this quine is possible, it's my only way of outputting more characters from the program, than the program itself takes up, since I can't loop or recurse, and f is the only character that outputs more than 1 stack element at once, it is my ticket to outputting more than I'm inputting, and thereby "catching up" with all the characters "wasted" on setup work. So now, as I explained earlier, f prints a newline between each stack element, and I can only create 1 character stack elements, and because in a quine the output must equal the input, this also means the input must equal the output. And because I just discovered an outputting quirk, this means my input must also match this quirk, if I want this to be a quine, so, my input is limited to 1 character, or 1 number, per line, since this is the layout my stack will take, and therefore will be the layout of my output. So what does this actually mean, I originally thought I couldn't use arrays at all, but, this isn't true, the array operations are multiple character sequences yes, but turns out, there actually are multiple characters per line, there's also a linefeed character. And since there is an array per ASCII character, I am simply going to be storing everything in "array linefeed"! So now, with all of this in mind, what does the program actually look like.

Let's take a really simple example, even simpler than earlier, let's simply store 1 and then print it, this seems simple enough, 1p does it fine, but, lets convert it to my format, and it's going to get quite long already, in order to prevent it getting even longer, I'll use spaces instead of newlines, just keep in mind, they're newlines in the actual program

112 49 0 k K 1 + d k : K 1 + d k : 0 k K 1 + d k ; K 1 + d k ; 0 k K 1 + d k ; a x K 1 + d k ; a x

now, what the fuck is going on here, first of all, I took "1p" and converted both characters into their character codes "49 112" and then flipped them backwards (dw about it), then, I run them through the Kdkax architecture. What happens is I initialise the decimal points of precision to 0, then, I increment it, put it back, but keep a copy, and then run the array store, keep in mind, this is storing in array linefeed, but what and where is it storing? Its index is the copy of the decimal points of precision I just made, and the data it's storing at that index, is whatever comes before that on the stack, which, not coincidentally, is 49, the character code for the digit "1", then I do the same process again, but this time, the decimal points of precision is 1, not 0, and the stack is 1 shorter. So now, I store 112 (the character code for p), in index 2 of array linefeed, now you may notice, the array is looking the exact same as the original program I wanted to run, but, in character code form, it is effectively storing "1p", but as numbers in an array, instead of characters in a string. I then reset the precision with 0k, and start again, this time with the load command, which loads everything back out, except, now flipped, the stack originally read 49 112, since that's the order I put them on, the top is 49, the last thing I put on, but after putting them into the array, and taking them back out, now I'm putting on 112 last instead, so now the stack reads 112 49, which happens to be the exact start of the code, this will be important later. For now, the important part is, the numbers are still in the array, taking them out just makes a copy, so, this time I take them out again, but rather than just storing them, I convert them to a character, and then execute them, 49 -> 1 -> 1 on the stack, 112 -> p -> print the stack, and I get 1 printed out with the final x. Now this may not seem very significant, but this is how everything is going to be done from here on out.

So, what do I do next? Well now's time to start on the quine itself, you may have noticed in the last example, I mentioned how at one point, the stack exactly resembles the program itself, or at least the start of it, this is hopefully suspicious to you, so now you may wonder, what if my program starts with "f" to print out the entire stack? Well, I get all the numbers back, i.e. I get the start of the file printed out, and this will happen, no matter how many numbers (commands) I include, now we're getting somewhere, so if I write fc at the start of my program (converted into character codes and then newline separated) then I include enough copies of the whole Kdkax stuff to actually store, load, and execute it, then I can execute whatever I want, and I'll get back everything except the Kdkax stuff itself, awesome! So now we come onto, how do I get back the "Kdkax stuff", and more importantly, what are my limitations executing things like this, can I just do anything?

Well, put simply, no, I cannot use multicharacter sequences, and I actually can't this time, because it's being executed as a single character macro, I don't have a newline to save me, and I just get an error back, so okay that's disappointing. This multicharacter sequence rule means I also can't input numbers bigger than 1 digit, because remember, the numbers get converted into characters and then executed, and luckily, executing a number, just means throwing it on the stack, so I'm good for single digit numbers. Then in terms of math (I know, this is a post about a calculator and only now is the maths starting), I can't do anything that produces decimals, since the digits of precision is constantly being toyed with, and I also can't use the digits of precision as a storage method either, because it's in use. I can actually use the main stack though! It's thankfully left untouched (through a lot of effort), so I'm fine on that front. Other multicharacter sequences include negative numbers, strings (so I can't cheese it, even here), and conditionals.

So it was somewhere around here, I started to rely on a python script I wrote for some of the earlier testing, and I modified it to this new Kdkax architecture when I was confident this was the way forwards. It converts each character into a character code, throws that at the start, and then throws as many copies of the store, load, and execute logic as I need to execute the entire thing afterwards. This allows me to input (mostly) normal dc into the input, just keeping in mind that any multicharacter sequences will be split up. So now I can start really going, and I'll speed up from here, effectively, what I need to do, is write a dc program, that can output "0 k", then "K 1 + d k :" repeated as many times as there are characters in my program, then "0 k" again, then "K 1 + d k ;" repeated just as many times, then "0 k" again, then "K 1 + d k ; a x" also repeated just as many times, without using strings, multicharacter sequences, loops, branches, recursion, any non-integer maths, with a newline instead of a space in every sequence above. Doable. The program starts with fc, like I mentioned, this prints out all the numbers at the start, and leaves us with a clean stack, I'll explain in detail how I output the "0 k" at the start, and leave the rest as an exercise to to the reader. I want to do this by printing the entire stack, so I want to put it on backwards, k first, k is character code 107 in decimal, and I can't input this directly, because I can't do anything other than single digit numbers, so maths it is, here I abuse the O command, which loads the output base, which is 10 by default, and I then write "OO*7+a", which is effectively character((10*10)+7) written in a more normal syntax, this creates "k" on the stack, and then I can move onto 0, for which I write "0", since a number just puts itself on the stack, no need to create it via a character code, I can just throw it on there, keep in mind this will all get converted to 79 79 42 55 43 97 48, but the python script handles this for me, and I don't need to think about it. The stack now reads "0 k" and I can output this with f, and clear the stack, I then do the same deal for "K 1 + d k :", the next "0 k", "K 1 + d k ;" but here I do something a little different, because I want to output "K 1 + d k ; a x" next (after the "0 k" again), I don't clear the stack after outputting "K 1 + d k ;", and instead, I put "a x" on the stack, and then use the rotate stack commands to "slot it into place" at the end, this is a neat trick that saves some extra effort, it makes printing the "0 k" in between more difficult, but I won't get into that. For now the important part, is the output of my program now looks something like this "(copy of input numbers) 0 k K 1 + d k : 0 k K 1 + d k ; 0 k K 1 + d k ; a x" this is amazing, this would be the correct output, if my program was only 1 character long at this point, now keep in mind I'm writing non-chronologically, so my program never actually looked like this, but if you're following along at home you should have this at this point:

fcOO*7+a0fcaO5*8+aOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**afcOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**af0nOanOO*7+anOanOO*2O*+aOO*3-a08-R08-Rf

definitely longer than 1 character, you might think at this point, it's just a matter of spamming "f" until you get there, but unfortunately, you'll never get there, every extra "f" you add, requires an extra copy of the store, load, execute block in the program, so you're outpaced 3 to 1, so what do you do about this? You print 4 at once! I want the stack to look like "K 1 + d k : K 1 + d k : K 1 + d k : K 1 + d k :" and similarly for the other steps, and then I can spam f with greater efficiency! This was somewhat trivial for the first 2, but for the ax, because I'm using the rotate to push it at the end, I need to do this 4 times too, with different rotate widths, not too hard. And now, I can finally get there, but how many times do I spam f? Until my program is exactly 3/4s printing on repeat, which makes sense if you think about it, and below, is finally the program I ended up with

fcOO*7+a0fcO5*8+aOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**aO5*8+aOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**aO5*8+aOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**aO5*8+aOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**affffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffcOO7+a0fcO5*9+aOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**aO5*9+aOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**aO5*9+aOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**aO5*9+aOO*7+aOO*aO4*3+aO4*9+a355**affffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff0nOanOO*7+anOanOO*2O*+aOO*3-a08-R08-ROO*2O*+aOO*3-a082-R082-ROO*2O*+aOO*3-a083-R083-ROO*2O*+aOO*3-a084-R084*-Rffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

I say finally, but this is actually pre-python script! The final program I actually ended up with will instead be included in a reblog, because it really needs its own cut. But anyway, this was how I wrote a quine, for a calculator, without using string literals.

[tianzhan]

#𝑻𝑰𝑨𝑵𝒁𝑯𝑨𝑵 : jingliu of hoyoverse's honkai star rail , established august 27th , 2023. as immortalized by 𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒔. southeast asian , they / them pronouns. please be 21+ to interact with me !! minors and personal blogs will be blocked. mutuals exclusive , canon , oc , and duplicate friendly! this blog will contain graphic content of violence , identity , abandonment , motifs of and ideations of death , and will reference chinese folklore and culture. i am unaffiliated with hsr and any of hoyoverse's games. you can also find me on: @zixunsilu !

𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 @boxue , @qiinglong.

𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐒 ; temper my soul into a blade that will never dull , destruction as salvation , i am the sword / i am the wound , love as the balm and the blade , the bona - fide sinner. i am nobody; i , the cataclysm.

rules below. / i dont want to make a carrd anymore / promo.

i. im going to keep this brief , so. first and foremost , i intend to keep this space as a place where i can chill and have fun. my workload occupies half of my time , so i'm going to be scarce , so this blog will be a PERMANENTLY low activity space tyty. i will be active with communicating , mainly discord. if i follow you , that means i would love to interact with your muses! i just ask that you be patient with me, since i am scarce as is. i don't really care too much about duplicates and i would love to interact with other blade writers , so long as there is respect to each of our portrayals of blade , but i would love to share around ideas too !!

ii. it goes without saying that i'm unaffiliated with the game, so everything of that material is not mine , the lore for ren will mostly be mixed canon, and expanded upon on from leaks, chinese mythos, culture, and item stories. that being said , ren only offers courtesy to people he holds neutral to better regard to , so he will be rude if need be , and awful where the situation begs for it. but most of the time he's quiet. haha lmao... please keep this in mind when interacting with him! therefore , steal from me and ur ass is grass !! psds , writing, etc are mine unless stated otherwise.

iii. this blog will contain references to and explorations of blade's character within the story and elaboration on chinese culture and mythology, my chinese reading level is literally abysmal (cries) so please bare with me! this blog will also contain triggering themes such as, but not limited to: violence , gore , dehumanization , depersonalization , memory loss , sexual themes , and more to be added. triggering material and general content warnings will be tagged as '___ tw' or '___cw'.

iv. do not involve me in any shape or form in your drama. i don't care , don't involve me. i firmly believe that some things can be solved through talking it out in private therefore, i reserve the rights to block as i please. that being said , i will reblog callouts if it does involve someone who brings genuine harm to the community.

v. i don't really care too much about length or formatting. i personally use small font text with minimal editing , as well as icons, but i do occasionally go iconless bc im lazy lmao... just please don't give me something that i'm gonna have to zoom in 500x to read , and just not one sentence LMAO !! basic roleplay etiquette goes, don't godmod my character etc. i generally do not make starter calls since i am terrible at managing them or answering them but i do. sometimes :clown:. but , the best way to start off threads with me is through ask memes! i loove when ask memes are turned into threads, and i do encourage plotting!! my d*sco handle is available if we're mutuals :)

vi. shipping is not a priority but i'm always up for it. it's not on the forefront of my mind , and i'm sure it isn't for you. what happens , happens. that being said , i reserve the right to drop a ship if certain dynamics don't interest me, or make me uncomfortable. but again , i am pretty flexible , i don't mind exploring darker dynamics between our characters. mains are open, and i consider us mains only if we have talked about it! i do not practice character exclusivity unless requested of me, but i do practice ship exclusivity. this means i will not write romantic ships with different writers of the same character if i already have a writing partner designated to that ship.

vii. if you are a multi , please specify a muse if you send in an ask or like starter calls. if you require anything from me in regards to interpretation or clarification , please by all means drop by my IMs and ask me! all in all , have fun and i look forward to writing with you!

[rex101111]

Whee time to slap stickers on things! 🎱🍓🐇🧃 🍄🦷🥐🧩

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats 

User Subscriptions:84

Kudos:10,191

Comment Threads:621

Bookmarks:2,201

Subscriptions:833

Word Count:313,916

Hits:153,472

No idea how much this stacks up to others but im pleased with it XD surprised how many subscribers i have though :O

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

"...man...these demons in naruto are kinda cool...huh...i wonder if one of them was a dragon...waaaaait a minute..."<-11 year old unaware he's about to discover the joy of writing his favorite cartoons in various situations. No seriously. 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

Much as i appreciate the appeal of self inserts, personally if im going to add anything i'd prefer if it was a different thing from myself. Then again all creative work is an extention of at least even a fragment of the self...meh. Seriously though, I don't do much of either but given the choice id just go with OCs.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I went to a sort of private elementary school that had an honest to god zoo. like, a pretty small petting zoo type thing you can just...go to during recess and pet animals. all sorts of animals too, horses, parrots, a reptile house. my favorites were the weasels though. super friendly and they loved to eat cottage cheese.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Baiken can cook, and after everything settles down she insists on cooking when Anji's birthday rolls around. She cooks like the person eating is planning to go on an expedition, calorie rich, large portions, plenty of salt and fat because the body is gonna need those if you're gonna go out and run around somewhere dangerous for a while. Usually the most dangerous place Anji goes to after finishing one of his Birthday Meals is the hallway between the kitchen and the bedroom. Since doing so keeps him out of trouble, Baiken considers this a success.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

Don't. Force it. Just don't. Every day sit down and give it a try, see if anything comes to you, but if nothing does? Close the doc, take a breath, and go do something else. And I do mean do, like make yourself something to eat or attend to something else you have going on, read or, whatever. Unless you have a literal deadline over your head, forcing it will just piss you off and bum you out. It's okay not to write every day, it's okay not to have anything come out, just leave it alone and check on it tomorrow. It'll be there for you to try again, promise.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

*enthusiastic live action bowser voice* MONKEY! :D

i have no earthly idea why, but years and years later, still gets me.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

no paragraph breaks. full stop on that one. i see a wall of text and i turn around like that one grandpa simpson meme. no thank you. you could have the second coming of the epic of gilgamesh hidden in there but i ain't spending the time to excavate the damn thing. learn how to format your fics, god's sake.

also 1st person POV. sometimes. some fics have done good work with it...very, very few though.

[papessedefer]

Soft  // @charismastatic​ sent:  

 [ embrace ] ( from ann ! )

For a moment, it felt as if her breath was stolen away. That hitch in her throat, that tension seizing in every fiber of her body... all signs of shock at the sudden token of affection. Makoto was frozen -- paralyzed in the arms of the other, and she realized far too late just how starved she was. It had been years since she last felt the embrace of another... years since her father had died, leaving her bereft of the hugs and validation he would always offer. Even Sae blessed her with such affection back then, but now...

..When was the last time she had hugged her sister? Not even the occasional pat on the head from Sae was enough to overcome her overwhelming feelings of loneliness. Until recently, no one had ever dared to approach her. Her peers were all intimidated by her position as the student council president, and by the way she carried herself. It might have been bearable if she had someone at home to cling to, but, even Sae -- the only family she had left, the only person she loved -- neglected her, and left her alone and wanting time and time again. 

So many nights alone in their apartment, spent softly weeping until sleep claimed her. So many times she tried to reach out to her sister, only to be shot down and insulted. So many days she wished for her father to somehow come back, to make everything right again. It was all so pathetic... Makoto was pathetic. That such a simple gesture -- this hug from Ann -- could dredge up so many painful and hopeful feelings all at once... it was pathetic. 

The Priestess couldn’t take it. She couldn’t allow herself to lose control of her emotions, not now, not in front of someone who looked up to her and relied upon her. For as desperate as she was to melt into the other girl’s chest, to let the emotions welling in her own to burst forth, her stubborn pride denied it. Hands found Ann’s chest, but only to push, gentle and decisive, enough to put that small distance between them once more. Her hands immediately retreated, clasped in her lap and stared at. Makoto couldn’t look at Ann, not right now. She couldn’t bear to see the confusion and hurt that had no-doubt filled those baby blue eyes. “I-I’m sorry, you... startled me.”

[mcyt-imagines]

TommyInnit Confession HCs

This is a combination of an imagine and some headcanons, this is a new way of writing for me so let me know if you enjoyed this format! 

- Tommy realising he loves the reader and how he’d confess to them - 

Tommy definitely would deny being interested in the reader in the beginning.

It would probably be a natural progression of feelings but tommy just wouldn’t realise it until WAY too late.

Like he just catches himself thinking about them when he’s just doing schoolwork and chores. And then he’s aware of just how much his mind wanders to them. Far too often in his humble opinion.

He lays hints about his crush when talking with Tubbo. He’s real defensive about it though. “You much of a ladies man Tubbo?” Trying to discretely get advice without actually asking for any. And Tubbo being Tubbo means he completely missed all the hints Tommy was dropping. (Not that Tommy’s hints were any good)

His stream for sure notices a change in his behavior, more scatterbrained showing visible signs of stress maybe a little more irritable too. Tubbo definitely notices the changes too and asks him about it. 

Tubbo would probably ask tommy on stream or in private something along the lines of. “What’s up Tommy, you’ve been kinda uh, distracted lately…”

Tommy for suuuuuure blushes and stutters out a response that even Tubbo doesn’t buy. (So instead he talks to Tubbo about it off stream, doesn’t mention his crushes name, but he keeps Tubbo in the loop. Tubbo finds the whole thing very funny because of how defensive Tommy gets in response, however he offers his support to Tommy, obviously. “Even though I have no experience with romance Tommy. I’ll do my best to be the best wingman ever!” With a salute to Tommy on his webcam. Tubbo quickly leaves the call saying he needs to do some ‘research’ (he puts the word in quotation marks with a wink)

Tommy would be a stubborn flustered MESS if stream ever figured out that he was crushing on someone.

And of course they find out because Tubbo slips up and mentions Tommy having a crush.

By that point he is absolutely CONSUMED by his thoughts about the reader as the more he tries to not think about them the more he wishes he was with them.

He also would 10000% be ignoring or avoiding his crush for as long as possible because he knows he wouldn’t be able to utter a single word to their face. His usual ‘big man’ façade would be in absolute shambles if he were around the reader during this time.

There would be a lot of internal and external swearing from Tommy when he finally realises and accepts that he likes you though.

However, this acceptance doesn’t make him any less stressed because now he needs to figure out whether he is even going to tell you!

But he knows he can’t keep living like this as he can’t keep avoiding his crush forever. And he knows the next time he sees you he knows his heart is going to literally burst out of his chest. And he won’t be able to stop himself. So, he devises a plan.

He gets a pep talk from Tubbo in which they help brainstorm his confession plan but he finds himself messaging Wilbur one late night after his stream. “Hey, can I get some advice?” Wilbur is shocked. “Tommyinnit asking ME for advice? Never thought I’d see the day.”

Wilbur teases him for a short while surely. But when Tommy finally puts his pride aside and tells Wilbur about his crush he sobers up quick and dishes out some solid advice and support for Tommy. “In exchange for my services I better be meeting this crush of yours Tommy.” “You got it big man.”

After speaking with Wilbur Tommy feels as if he can finally breathe for the first time in weeks since he first started to realise his feelings for the reader.

CONFESSION DAY!

Tommy sends the reader a text in the mid-morning asking if they wanted to hang out sometime later today. Also apologizing for how ‘busy’ he’s been the last few weeks using schoolwork or chores as his excuse.

He’s furiously texting Tubbo the WHOLE time he’s waiting for a reply from them. Tubbo pulls Tommy onto Minecraft to try and take his mind off the situation. Offline of course, Tommy would not be able to handle streaming right now.

Even Wilbur sends him a few messages to check in, jumping on discord to give his ear for Tommy to chew off. Which he most definitely does.

Eventually his phone dings and Tommy DIVES for it. “THEY SAID YES!” Both Wilbur and Tubbo groan from Tommy’s mic peaking with his screech.

Tommy waits for a few minutes before replying per Tubbo’s request. “I read it online! You don’t want to seem too into them.” He proclaims with false authority as Wilbur chuckles in the background of the call.

The rest of the afternoon blurs for Tommy as he stays on call with Wilbur and Tubbo as they do their best to distract his overactive mind.

However, as the clock ticks on he knows he needs to start getting ready or he’s going to be late.

Wilbur demands that he choose Tommy’s outfit. So for the next half hour Tommy proceeds to perform a free fashion show for the two, only for Phil to join for a short while to give his two cents before going back to his stream.

Eventually Wilbur settles on what he dubbed “-a classic Tommyinnit look-” one of his favourite red shirts paired with one of his nicer black jackets and the dark charcoal pants his mum had made him get a few months ago for a wedding. They are very uncomfortable.

Tommy heaves a sigh as he thanks Wilbur and Tubbo for sticking around with him today. They both send him away, “Good luck Tommy!” “Go get ‘em big man.”

Tommy had agreed to meet the reader at the park, he thought dinner would have been a bit much. Wilbur and Tubbo both agreed on that front. This park was right near the water, so it had a great view of the sunset. He was still pretty chuffed about that fact, his chat was sooo wrong, he could be romantic if he wanted to after all.

Of course, he was a little late. He repeatedly told his mum to speed. She refused of course. His mother of course had noticed exactly what this ‘hang out’ was and had quizzed him about his crush the night prior.

“Don’t leave the car mum.” Tommy was quick to warn her, he did not want her to be anywhere near them. She didn’t need any more dirt on him to embarrass him with. She could end his whole streaming career in an instant if she wanted. A truly terrifying thought.

Tommy was quick to move near the waterfront puffing slightly, nose a tinge pink with the oncoming chilly wind from the lake. “Hey Tommy.” Tommy would freeze instantly before quickly turning with a forced smile, a little too big for his face. “Hey!”

His crush would lead Tommy over to the nearby bench they had been sitting on before he arrived. And they would definitely sit closer to Tommy than he would have wanted.

Tommy would be so obvious. Stuttering over his words, a LOT of frantic hand movements whenever he’s speaking to them.

Mid-conversation his crush starts to laugh. “Tommy I think I’ve figure out why you have been ‘busy’ recently.” Tommy stills immediately, sweat dripping off of him in POOLS. “H-Huh!?” He makes a noise in the back of his throat that he has NEVER made before.

This seems to only make his crush laugh more, they turn fully to him and take one of his clammy hands. He quickly goes to yank it from their grip knowing how sweaty it is. But their grip is strong, and surprisingly calm in contrast to his shaking hands. He gulps simply staring at the spot where their hands are touching. “Tommy.” His gaze snaps up to their smiling face hiding slight worry. “Breathe.” And he finally does. His tense shoulders drop, and their hand leaves his. And suddenly he’s laughing harder than he ever has before realizing how ridiculous he’s being right now. And when he looks over, so is his crush.

The conversation from that point on flows naturally as the two finally begin to catch up after not seeing each other for a few weeks.

Tommy finally realises how comfortable they make him feel. He simply stares at them as they speak. Awed that it took him this damn long to figure out he liked them.

His crush stops talking, noticing him staring. He jumps out of his thoughts, “Hey Tommy, take a picture it’ll last longer.” And suddenly he’s sweating all over again as they laugh.

His crush is having the time of their life watching ‘big man’ Tommy squirm beside them. Trying his best to scrounge up the courage to say something, anything to them.

They open their mouth to speak when suddenly Tommy yells, “I LIKE YOU!”

Tommy isn’t even looking at them, he has his eyes squeezed shut and he thrusts his arm outwards holding something which promptly shoves into his crush’s chest. Effectively winding them.

They wheeze in response, “Me too. Don’t know why though goD!” They push out through gasps of air, pressing a hand to their chest. Pain beginning to subside as Tommy realises he literally just punched his crush.

His jaw drops and his silence continues as they take what was in his hands. A small book.

A scrapbook.

His crush’s face softens as they flip through the photos, memories flooding back to them of days long gone by.

Tommy stayed up all night yesterday just to finish the final details on the scrapbook, it isn’t the most aesthetically pleasing thing. (Even he knows that) But he put his heart and soul into it.

“Very sweet of you Tommy. But I didn’t bring anything for you…” They end up mumbling in response. Tommy only grins. “So you like it?” They scoff and finally pull Tommy in for a hug. He stills for a moment, then melts into their hold.

Tommy mumbles his apology for literally punching them into his crush’s hair. They giggle into his chest in response, letting him know that it’s fine, they’re okay. Tommy mumbles something incoherent into their hair and presses a cautionary kiss to the top of their head.

“AWWWWW!” A loud noise comes from behind their bench. Tommy and his crush dive apart only to see Tommy’s mum hidden behind a nearby tree.

“MUUUUUUUUUM!” Tommy screeches as his crush cackles out a laugh.

Tommy’s mum ends up driving his crush home as well, they sit in the back seat of the car holding hands.

“This didn’t go at all how I’d planned…” Tommy complains with a deep pout. “Oh really? Your plan didn’t involve punching me? Huh?” Their crush sniggers at him.

“Oh! His real plan-“ His mother starts and in order to cut her off Tommy just starts yelling at the top of his lungs “Nononono!!”. Causing his crush to burst into laughter as the two try to increase their volumes to drown out the other.

His crush shakes their head with a grin and wonders what the hell they’ve just gotten themselves into.

[liquid-luck-00]

Leave Her Alone

This is Part 4 of 10

#10: Leave him/her/them alone @zambie-trashart Prompt List

Part 1 *** Part 2 *** Part 3

SuperSons x Miracilous

~~~~~~~~~~

Two summers have come and past and she could genuinely say she considered Damian a friend. The last time they were together he called her a minor inconvenience, so she'll take that as a win.

She however wasn't expecting to he back in Gotham so soon. She along with seven others were chosen to represent D’Argencourt School of Fencing in an international competition. With challengers from eight total countries. Seeing as it was during the fall recess her parents allowed it, so long as she stayed with the rest of the fencing team and chaperones. They also knew that her Uncle wasn’t far and she had friends in Gotham, that and Ma and Pa invited her for thanksgiving. Having gained a sort of sixth sense when she would be in the states.

So here she is on a flight she makes usually once sometimes twice a year but now she knows her uncle and cousin weren’t waiting for her. She wasn’t going to metropolis she was going to Gotham. Maybe she should have text Wayne, if he refuses to call her Marinette, she refuses to call him Damian, call her petty. But she didn’t even know if he was free or even competing, so she hadn’t bothered.

What was a surprise was that Adrien, their best male fencer, was allowed to come, apparently his father was super strict, only letting him do specific activities. They had chatted a bit on the bus and then on the plane.

“Who would have thought that seeing eight kids walk into an airport with fencing foils would have caused so much commotion.”

“That would be the no weapons laws in place,” she answered not looking up from her reading. “No cutting or thrusting weapons are allowed on the plane and have to be properly secured.”

“That’s why they were put in that case M. D’Argencourt had?”

“Yes.” She stopped the flight attendant who was passing, and luckily it was one that she recognized. “Hello Miss Catalina.”

“Oh, if it isn’t little Mariposa. Wake you up for breakfast?”

“Yes please.” She smiled. “Thank you.”

“Mariposa?” Adrien asked after she walked away.

“Butterfly. Float like a butterfly sting like a bee. Right.”

“That defines your fighting style.”

“Now unless you’re a fan of jet lag, good night.” She fell asleep and ended up waking him up after Catalina woke her. They ate and had a bit of small talk until they landed and made their way to their hotel.

Okay Gotham isn’t the nicest place to ever go but they were in the nicer part of the city. They got settled then went to train for the upcoming three-day tournament. During the first day everyone only had one match but with four matches going on, two for each gender and one for each bracket, it was busy and quite a show. Mari was lucky enough to be one of the first to compete, so she spent the rest of the day watching the other competitors. The third match she noticed something eerily familiar from one of the male competitors.

“Figures you’d be here Wayne.” She snuck up behind him, making him turn.

“Surprised you would come at all.” He lighted his helmet. “Does Kent know you are here?”

“Probably by now he would have.” She shrugged. “Go change,” she shooed, “that way we can over critique everyone else.” He rolled his eyes while his teammates stared at her. “What’s your deal.” She rose a brow.

“Nothing!” Several of them shouted and scattered. If Damian Wayne listened to this girl, and they didn’t know who she was, she must be scary, because Damian is, and he doesn’t listen to just anyone.

“Should I be grateful that you managed to get rid of those leeches?”

“Seriously, manners Wayne, those were your teammates.”

“So?”

“Never mind I am not going to get anything through that thick skull of yours.”

“My skull is thicker than most but that nearly means it is more efficient for head butts.”

“Definitely not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean Dupain?”

“It’s not important just that I can’t change your mind.” He was about to shoot back but she literally put a finger up to silence him. “Did you see that.” He looked towards where she was looking.

A female fighter, in all red, part of block D mercilessly attacked her opponent. In under fifteen seconds she scored each time, quickly accumulating her points.

“They are from the Tsurugi school in Japan, based off the uniform.”

“Figure that on your own Batman.” She rolled her eyes. “But I meant her form it was…”

“Exceptional for a competitor at this level.”

“Must you always be so condescending Wayne.”

“Mariiii,” they both heard a familiar voice drawing their attention away from the red fencer. If they hadn’t, they would have noticed that the same fencer was focused on them.

“Jon/Kent.” A body slammed into them, bu quickly pulled her in a hug spinning her in a circle.

“You should have told us you were competing here. I knew Damian was but you that’s surprising.”

“Come on it’s not that surprising.” They moved away from the crowd, making their way to the entrance hall.

“So, I heard there is going to be a demonstration match after all the preliminary matches are done.”

“How do you know this?” Wayne asked. At the question her cousin claimed up and would not meet their eyes. If both she and Wayne muttered ‘of course’ they figured the answer.

“So, what’s it supposed to be about?” She decided to ask.

“I don’t know I saw you and tuned that other conversation out.” She quite frankly face palmed while Wayne tsked at him. “What you only come once or twice a year and Damian was hogging you.” He whined.

“I was not hogging her, in fact…”

“We didn’t even know the other was competing. It was just a chance that I saw him and then we started judging the others.”

“You are ruining her!” Jon began to pout.

“Oh, quiet you, I want to scope out more of my competition.” She pulled her cousin while Damian walked slightly behind them. That was how they spent the rest of their time watching all matches. When all bouts were over, they split and went to their respective team.

“Now, I would like to begin with a round of applause for all competitors and especially for those moving on.” A judge took the stage. “Now as a demonstration match, every school has given two names which were placed into this lottery. The two called will hold a match, no matter the gender or their block. It will not affect their placement in this competition. Now let’s see.” He reached in and pulled two slips of paper. “Mr. Damian Wayne of Gotham and Miss Marinette Dupain-Cheng of Paris will be our competitors. If you are not yet dressed, please suit up.”

Soon after they faced each other.

Usually her fencing was quick, her foot work light, but against Wayne she knew she had to change tactics. She foot work still light but was grounded, she used more power than she normally would to be in the defensive letting him fall confident. But she alternated between her styles leaving him guess. The score was 7-7 the next touch wins, unknowingly this was one of two inter sex pairs to fight it out. Both of them were panting, neither ready to give up and neither willing to accept defeat. Mari knew that if she was to win against Wayne, she had to be sneaky. Halfway through her lunge she switched forms quickly thinking on her feet, becoming light, quick movements to heavier steps with quick jabs and even stronger swings with light steps. Being creative and spontaneous in her movements.

“Winner, Miss Dupain-Cheng.” A voice announced. Both of them stepped to the center of the mat and shook hands, then lifted their masks.

“You won.” He seemed slightly miffed.

“Oh, don’t look that surprised Wayne.” They walked off and she lightly bumped him. They both left for the day afterwards. She didn’t even pay attention to the whispers around her, ate and went to her room to sleep.

The next day was uneventful, they both had two bouts winning theirs, respectively. Unfortunately, they both had matches when they other was off. Jon would scramble between the blocks to cheer for each of them.

The last day they were given a reprieve before the finals. So, she was meditating along with Wayne, while Jon talked about something or another.

“Marinette!” She heard a cry coming towards her. She opened her eyes and there was was Adrien. “Iv3 been trying to find you all morning. I’m up against that guy you fought on the…” he went quiet probably finally noticing one of the two next to her. “You aren’t going to give me any hints, are you?”

“Just like I’m not giving him any on you.” Adrien looked like he was going to beg, and Wayne quirked a brow. “Thank goodness my match is before yours. Look I think of both of you as friends and I will not sell one out to the other.” She stood up. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” She went off to get ready for her match.

She was up against the same red fencer that she watched with Wayne. Kagami Tsurugi, competitor from Japan, they saluted one another and got in formation. They fought hard and she fought quick striking opportunely, but this girl fought like Wayne. Marinette knew that everyone was talking about the exhibition match, so she knows this girl saw it too. So, she decided to match her strength list of the time. The match was long, but Mari managed to hold a lead before again fighting on instinct, earning the win.

“That was a great match!” She extended her hand.

“I demand to see my opponents face.” Kagami ordered.

“Only if you show me yours.” Mari took off her helmet, but most had figured already. Kagami also removed her helmet.

“It was not good enough.” They shook Kagami turned on her heel and walked away.

“That was…” she saw Adrien come up next to her. “Amazing!!!”

“Okay, okay.” She giggled from under him. “Now go get ready.”

“Yes madam.” He rushed off. But as he did, she saw her opponent and a woman, and she was being scolded. Sure it wasn’t the nicest thing to snoop, but this one time shouldn’t hurt, right?

“Now what made you lose?” The woman asked.

“My opponent was unpredictable and her steps and swings contradicted one another.”

“That much was notable, but that does not answer the question, what made you lose?”

“I lost because I was unworthy of the blade in my hands.”

The woman was going to say something but she could not hold her tongue any longer. “First off leave her alone, second the reason she lost was not due to any technical or observable trait.”

“What are you doing, child?”

“I’m sticking up for the best female fencer here. The only reason I got the touch first was because I wasn’t thinking I was reading my opponent, until she couldn’t read me. I changed my forms so often during the match that if their was no impartial judge I would have lost.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that Tsurugi is the best technical fighter I have ever fought. That I would have certainly lost if I wasn’t spontaneous. That if I wasn’t so good at reading others, Tsurugi would have won.”

“What is your school, if I may ask?”

“The D’Argencourt School of Fencing in Paris, France, Madame.”

“Interesting, well we hope to see such a formidable opponent again.” The two turned and Kagami sent her a small wave before turning around.

“Why do I feel like I’m forgetting something… the match!”

“The Winner Mr. Damian Wayne.” The two shook hands and walked off.

She would have followed had she not spotted one of her favorite people in the states. “Dicky!” She jumped and he caught her on his back.

“Hey Mari, we saw your match earlier good job.”

“Thanks.” She then noticed Barbara, Alfred, and Bruce. She gave them all a nod and a smile.

“We would have talked to you sooner if we had known and if you and Damian didn’t disappear.”

“We would not have disappeared had you not have been so grating.” Wayne returned.

She shimmied off of Dick and stood next to him. “They aren’t too bad.” She stuck out her tongue.

“Yes, just as you are not a dolt for having missed the match.”

“How did?”

“Like I said a dolt.” He poked the center of her forehead.

“Oh har dry hard har Mr. ‘what did you say to my opponent about me’.” She bumped him slightly. “So where I’d Jon go?”

“Your Uncle Kent called him, he had to leave.” Bruce answered. “If you are worried on who is taking you we offered.”

“Okay. Let me just tell my coach about the change.” She rushed off to talk with M. D’Argencourt, because she was not about to miss thanksgiving with her Ma and Pa Kent.

~~~~~~~~~~

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[thorraborinn]

Can you elaborate what do you mean when you said the óðal rune represent the move away from egalitarian communities to feudalism? I am just curious :D

More than happy to. Some of this is (like a lot of my thoughts) still in development, but here's a summary. I'm actually not talking about the rune, I'm talking about the actual institution of óðal, that is, not the rune as a rune, but the meaning of the word that is the rune's name, and therefore also what it means when it appears as a rune in text like here, in Beowulf:

Óðal an institution of rights pertaining to inheritance of land. If the land is to be sold, a person who has óðalsréttr has the right to buy it first before anyone else, and if it is sold outside of the family, the bearer of óðalsréttr has the right to buy it back (at the same price that was paid for it) within a certain amount of time. Normally in English this is known as allodial title, or else we could say that is the specifically Scandinavian form of allodial title.

It does seem to have other, older meanings that are a bit harder to grasp but which do not have to do with literal ownership of property, but one of the greatest deficiencies in modern heathens' ability to understand how symbols convey meaning and are deployed in discourse (e.g. by fascists) is a refusal to see them as having any more than exactly one universal, eternal, unchanging ur-meaning. This attempt to escape from history depletes symbols of meaning and hamstrings heathens' attempts to approach them. We have to deal with them identifying ourselves as historical actors approaching historical objects with complex genealogies.

From many perspectives, óðal seems to be a positive institution. In Norway, it's seen as protecting the rights of the small, independent farmer against centralizing aristocratic (and later, corporate) power and maintaining a decentralized field of power and relatively low hierarchization compared to other kingdoms/states. For example we can see its role in the class conflict around the formation of the early Norwegian kingdom when Haraldr hárfagri ruptured the institution in order to claim the right to tax Norwegian landholders, and it was subsequently restored by Hákon góði. This interpretation is not entirely without merit, but it fails to capture the overall reality of the development of economic relations in the society it was part of. From Knut Helle, Cambridge History of Scandinavia:

However, recent research in both Denmark and Norway indicates that Iron Age society was marked by considerable and growing inequality, both economically and socially. There were chiefs and magnates who owned or controlled extensive complexes of land farmed by thralls, freedmen and free men who were dependent on the landowners in varying degrees or were in a client relationship with them. The large number of tenant farmers in Denmark, Norway and Iceland towards the end of the high Middle Ages is now being regarded as a result of a long-term process with roots in the early Iron Age and continuing in the early and high Middle Ages.

Of course, one could argue that the insufficiency of óðal rights to defend individual farmers from other structures of power as they grew over time doesn't mean that it's bad, and perhaps even that without it things would have been even worse. But this is only looking at the social relations between land-owning farmers and people with more institutional power.

This quotation also brings up something that often goes unconsidered: land ownership in Scandinavia was dependent on massive amounts of slave labor (as well as "free" but still dependent labor). Even in situations where hierarchy didn't develop in a way that centralized under a king, decentralization does not necessarily indicate a lack of hierarchy, and in this case that illusion can only be maintained by taking the land-owning individual farmer (in some places, restricted specifically to male farmers, though not everywhere) as the fundamental unit of society, with all others who didn't own land being dismissed from consideration. None of these people had óðal. Heathens are not wont to talk about how óðal didn't belong to everyone.

In recent studies on the topic, Erik Magnus Fuglestad has drawn very direct comparisons between this recognition of the land-owning free farmer as the basic unit of humanity to things that Americans can relate to our own history. We see this in things like the right to vote being afforded only to white landowning men. Now, my comment referred less to its function over time and more to its inception. So far, I have failed to find evidence to the contrary of the belief that before óðal rights were established, that property was held in common. Here's Proudhon in 1841:

As long as the German tribes dwelt in their forests, it did not occur to them to divide and appropriate the soil. The land was held in common: each individual could plow, sow, and reap. But, when the empire was once invaded, they bethought themselves of sharing the land, just as they shared spoils after a victory. “Hence,” says M. Laboulaye, “the expressions sortes Burgundiorum Gothorum and klhroi Ouandigwn*; hence the German words allod, allodium, and loos, lot, which are used in all modern languages to designate the gifts of chance.”

*I have no idea wtf this means and when you Google it you just get this Proudhon letter. Maybe it originates in a bad image-to-text software transcription?

I imagine that there is both more nuance in what actually happened and history that is inaccessible to us (archaeologists in Scandinavia tell us that there were oscillating periods of hierarchization and egalitarianism for a long time leading up to the beginning of recorded history) but the point is that óðal presupposes a commodification of land that appears not to have existed prior to the establishment of óðal. So this body of laws protecting the rights of the landowner is concomitant with the seizure of what had previously been the commons, and the creation of a formal, economically-determined class distinction. Notwithstanding the fact that this began in conquered places (at least, according to Proudhon's narrative, which I would want to revisit with more recent research), the pattern seems to have repeated one way or another northward into Scandinavia (perhaps we see an early operation of something like the imperial boomerang, without even requiring a colonial state apparatus?). This initial commodification is of course also a prerequisite for the more advanced accumulation that would go on to form kingdoms and nation states later on.

If you think this is exaggeration, consider the set of words related to óðal and its related (by vrddhi) cognate aðal (the cognates especially in non-Norse Germanic languages; in fact Norse may be a source for the older meanings of aðal) meaning 'noble' and 'nobility.' They were quite aware of the class difference between an óðalsborinn ('born with óðal') person and someone who wasn't one, and they were proud of it.

When I see things like t-shirts and stickers with rainbow othalas and "othala means family" and stuff like that, it becomes clear to me that heathens are living in some kind of fantasy world outside of time and space, and their moral high ground will be the death not only of our symbols and traditions but of the countless victims of fascism. Here in the real world, neo-nazis are playing an active role in shaping global geopolitics. Here's some graffiti left by Russian mercenaries in either Syria or Libya (I'm not sure which, photo via Ruslan Trad; click for the full picture):

The liberal neutralization of the history of óðal, land ownership, and colonialism seeks to make the settler heathen innocent and alleviates the responsibility for taking action. For most so-called anti-racist heathens, that is taking action, because washing the blood off their hands is the goal, not the self-transformation required to learn to fight for international autonomy and total liberation for all peoples.

This all converges to make the concept of óðal and the rune that bears the word as a name an interesting site from which to mount a critique of "non-racist" heathenry. There are extremely obvious avenues for reclaiming it and making it stand for something positive, namely, remembrance of the former relation of people to the land held in common and recognition that the United States is an illegal, illegitimate occupying entity that does not recognize the rights that we heathens recognize belong to the original inhabitants of the land. But acknowledging that demands taking action, and heathens, on the whole, we should not expect to be willing to take action.

[subjectnumberx]

Thumbnailing: Subject's Way

Thumbnails are an important workflow tool artists use to make creating their works more efficient. They are essentially tiny, low detail versions of the idea you may have in mind, and save time by helping you catch potential compositional errors, clashing colors in palettes(if you blob some colors on), and poses that simply might not.. work in character art as well as many other things not mentioned.

I am a very visual person and sometimes putting ideas to paper really helps me focus better on the task at hand. Organizing things into steps on the page really helps me not get overwhelmed. It might prove helpful to you as well.

In this tutorial, I'll take you through my workflow process when planning paintings and simple character illustrations.

I start off the process by doing a ton of sketches of whatever thing from many angles, poses, etc. Usually if I have a certain image in mine I simply sketch that and adjust little things like angle, placement of limbs, etc. Work teeny tiny, you can enlarge it later. I,t really depends on what the goal is for that piece what the process looks like. Here the goal was to just draw a character, so I have many options.

environment sketches look a bit different for me, as I will sketch them in literal cubes. I am still working through the technique. I just haven't gotten good enough at them yet to consider a tutorial by me would be helpful to anyone though.

Like with piece D, it's good to plan compositional elements here too. I added the moon that would go in the eventual background, swords in the hands of B and E, etc. Had I had more time, F would have gotten rough roses, but I digress.

After I have base sketches, I do very rough lines so I know what I'm looking at, and it primes me for what I could possibly have issues with in doing the final. I keep it VERY loose and don't dwell too much on details. If I'm drawing a character, I'm not even going to look up references, unless their silhouette is very complex. There is not much need for accuracy here. Just to nail down your subject's silhouette.

At this point, you can start eliminating which poses you don't want. Here I was very indecisive so I went through with sketching all of them.

At this step ill also take the time to plan variants if I feel like I would be indecisive about them/need them for certain platforms (optional).

Here's where things start to actually take the form of thumbnails. I work large and draw most of the anatomy of the subject so that things are positioned correctly in the frame. Draw the whole of something, even if you know it's going to get cropped out. There is nothing worse than trying to draw in a way that is already cropped, it messes up your anatomy bad, and you'll spend more time trying to fix it, especially if you are just starting out as an artist.

Physically drawing a box around them to help with framing is really good to help plan the composition of the final piece. Again, you can eliminate stuff here as well if they don't make interesting compositions. Consider the rule of thirds and how much breathing room you want or need in your piece. The one not in a box was eliminated because I didn't like the pose nor would it make a very interesting piece.

I also use different colors on the boxes so I can overlap them and keep my eyes from getting confused where one "drawing" ends and one begins.

If I'm planning portraits/art in my painterly style, I'll take the time to block in some colors just to see what I should shoot for in the final. I will also do several pairings of colors in their own sets of thumbnails if the piece needs it/i want varients. I highly suggest blobbing so that you can see how potential colors will play with one another. Learning the teeniest bit of color theory will help, I promise, but for now, i'lI'lll refrain from the mini-lecture.

these three two (you'll see), I figured would make better cel-shaded/quicker pieces due to how zoomed out they are, any true details I would want to focus on don't exactly work for my current style faraway. Be sure to tailor compositions that suit your style. I will be keeping these sketch ideas for future reference.

It's important to remember that just because an idea doesn't get used in this piece, that doesn't mean it can't be used in a further piece down the road. I actually have a horrible habit of deleting my thumbnails after I'm done with them, but if I'm thumbnailing in a sketchbook? I find myself browsing back over them for future pieces to get some rough ideas of what could work later.

One last thing, you don't have to plan as many thumbnails as I did, but I do suggest at least 3 or 4 to really stretch your creativity.

Thumbnails also make for a good warm-up. If you're curious, I did the initial sketches in this order: A C E D B F. I think it helped me loosen up a bit, but you can be the judge of that.

I went back and tried another approach for a painting, but now I have the base for 3 paintings I could pursue, albeit rough, but it's good to learn how to paint like a sculptor, I digress.

That's all there is to it. the key is being clean enough to get the idea down, but rough enough to save time. work small, using basic shapes to create silhouettes. You can enlarge it later and use it as a base sketch.

Last two cents: I've also learned that sometimes if a piece is just not working, it's probably more than likely a compositional issue, anatomy, or perspective, Which is why thumbnailing can help you catch these issues early.

happy drawing :)

a/n: this is my first time really creating a tutorial. this might not be groundbreaking information for some of you and that's okay. this tutorial was initially created for someone in an art server I'm in on Discord, hence the slide-text-slide format. I have taken the images and text from that and compiled them here to make it easier to pick up the tips. I do not consider myself a pro on any of the things mentioned by any means, merely my take on it all. Get multiple sources, educate yourself, practice, and find what works for you. - Sub

[sevlgi]

bts as roommates

requested: no

group: bts

a/n: wow me turning back to headcanons because i’m stupid :D (also i hate my formatting i’m sorry if you do too) i intended this platonically but you can take it however you want lol

~JIN~

he’s somehow always everywhere??

like, if you go to the kitchen for food, he’s snacking on something, and if you’re doing your laundry, he’s somehow passing by

likes to pop in and visit his roommates at any given second

if you’re working, he’ll come and sit in silence, but he’ll also crack jokes if you’re in the mood for it

a l w a y s   cooking for some reason and yells that he’s making food

it’s either that or an excessive amount of takeout and some bad soap opera

will send passive-aggressive texts about chores after he’s already done all of them himself

so dramatic for no reason, but very gentle and sweet most of the time

he’ll let you borrow literally anything from him and forgets that he’s given it to you

won’t watch horror movies at night

you don’t ask him to anyway, since he yells in your ear every time

goes all out for every single holiday and makes you decorate with him

~SUGA~

organized in a way that no one understands but him

yoongi will fix anything overnight if you just tell him

that also includes chores or buying groceries; things get done in the dead of night

he never turns on the light in his room, so you don’t know if he’s asleep, working, or dead

kinda creeps up behind you without meaning it and scares the shit out of you

honestly very funny and goofy when he’s feeling up to it

he bickers with you a lot, especially when you ask him to go outside and buy things

likes sarcastically commenting on the bad shows you watch, but watches them with you every single time

he never cooks for himself (survives on coffee and takeout when you aren’t home) but will make a five course meal for you

if you have to go anywhere, he’ll either drive you or walk with you with a scowl on his face

~J-HOPE~

he tries to be helpful but fails a lot

will act as a chauffer for you at any given time, or just drive you around the city playing music for fun

somehow always in a good mood? or at least, he pretends to be

announces that he’s home whenever he arrives

will cook with you for “bonding” but makes you waste time by laughing

somehow the loudest person on earth but also gets frightened by any small noise

hoseok is actually pretty neat most of the time, but he doesn’t care if you aren’t

he does chores without being asked, and will do your chores for you randomly

refuses to talk to you properly and just yells whatever he needs to tell you across the apartment

that, or he spams you with texts

unless you’re willing to cook with him, he refuses to make any food

but he has amazing taste in takeout places, so you don’t really care

~RM~

joon almost always has headphones in for some obscene reason

even if he doesn’t have headphones in, he usually doesn’t hear you yell at him

you’re always finding things he loses and you throw them at him because he won’t notice otherwise

sings very loudly whenever he thinks people aren’t home

he’s rarely home anyway, usually at the studio or something

he can’t sleep a lot of the time, and when you can’t either, you just stay up and talk about anything that comes to mind

can’t cook for his life

for safety purposes, one of you cooks while the other holds a fire hydrant

he sticks to his own room most of the time, but you can find him 

whenever you order takeout, he pays for it very sneakily

he’s very detailed with all the little gifts that you or other people get him

breaks something every three minutes but never breaks something you buy him

~JIMIN~

you forget he has his own room sometimes because he’s always wandering around

he periodically checks in on you in your own room and just kinda stands there

dance battles are a thing

whenever there’s music playing (and there usually is), you can probably find jimin dancing to it, and he’ll pull you in with him

an angel sometimes and a devil at others

he has the sweetest smile when you buy him food, but after barely a minute, he’ll be roasting the way you take selfies

likes to leave colorful sticky notes around the house with smiley faces for you

but also leaves booby traps right where you don’t expect them

insists on helping around the house, but he usually does the things that aren’t that important

pretends like he eats healthily, but any junk food left in the fridge unlabeled is immediately stolen

~V~

half the time, you have no clue what he’s doing

whatever he’s doing, he does it loudly

you never miss when he raids the fridge at midnight because taehyung has no concept of being embarrassed about it

and he blasts music at a volume that gets you the occasional noise complaint

texts you even if he’s sitting right next to you

tae changes his own profile picture on your phone and always sets it to a meme-worthy selfie

but he takes the best photos of you and is always aiming a camera at your face

usually wakes you up by flopping right onto your bed like a literal fish

sometimes you think he’s glued to the couch because he won’t move, but tae’s usually fine

randomly asks questions that send you into an existential crisis

he yells at you to come into his room, just to say “hi” or something similarly dumb

~JUNGKOOK~

clueless about the way things work for some reason

you literally have to teach him how to do his laundry twice a week

when he tries, he usually does things well

makes the prettiest decorations and can follow a recipe competently

however, he almost completely survives off of snacks, and only buys snacks when he goes grocery shopping alone

sometimes he sits in the living room on his phone for hours on end or plays games for days straight

you find him staring at nothing more often than you should

he’s very competitive when it comes to playing video games together or playing any games, really

eats at unfathomable times of day

you literally wake up to the sound of jungkook crunching on chips in the living room

basically has no concept of time, so you have to force him to eat or sleep or he won’t do it

[ranarh]

I've been playing around with AI generated images using Disco Diffusion for a few days and find it very intriguing. DD is open source software that Google Colab provides free access to (as you might expect, you can get nicer features by paying) and can also be run from home. It is a text-to-image generator, meaning you enter a description called prompt, adjust a bunch of parameters to your liking, and watch as an initial colour noise develops into something it "thinks" you described. [Allow me to deviate a bit here: there is a lot of confusion about what computers can and can't do and even more about the capabilities of AI. Right now, they are just dumb machines. Yes, they can produce smalltalk - who can't - and as with any task, if we can use the computer's strength, it shows better results than humans, for example in diagnosing skin cancer, because no human can compare millions of images. But they are just machines. They can't think. They are not alive. We cannot trust them to make decisions for us. Please never forget that, people.]

Diffusion is the math, and Disco is the way it is applied, there are other ways like Latent Diffusion or Progrock (see a pattern here?). If you've used programs like Apophysis or Mandelbulber, you'll feel right at home - change a bunch of numbers, go away for coffee (rendering these things takes time), and come back to find pretty pictures have materialised. Other powerful AI image generators are currently invite only, like the impressive Midjourney and Dall-E, or NVIDIA's beta Canvas that requires quite good hardware.

What I like about the image DD procudes is the density and arbitrary additions taking cues from sources you never knew existed - you literally describe the image to someone else -, it's like being on the client side of illustration for once, and nothing turns out the way you meant to, but is still cool, so you run with it. The same feature of course makes it hard to get it to do what you want (although you can use initial images as a template it will then fill, with mixed success). As a learning experience for myself as an artist, I think it's very interesting to see how much I need to put to words to describe what I want. I'm not one of the artists who smartly write down a description and keywords for their intended artwork beforehand - maybe I should - so I found I had to really make an effort and think, what kind of image, how dense the detail, the camera setup, art style, maybe influenced by an artist? To DD, it's a big difference if you present the same description for a rainy or sunny day. And everything you leave out it will fill on its own; since the AI was trained with images from the internet, I'm sure the eponymous farm will get a burger drive-thru. That's where many surprises lie, what was clear to you, but you didn't say, may have been left out or filled unexpectedly. Even with a good visual library, I think this experience of recalling it in words is very useful to artists. Many images cannot (and I guess, should not) be used as-is, certainly not for illustrations, but they are nice starting points and free to use. However, people have indeed managed to make very coherent, detailed images with it, especially landscapes. Output sizes are quite small with a free account; on the other hand, there are tools available that can upscale nicely to workable solutions.

So, don't be afraid of what looks like math, it's really quite harmless, and give it a try to see what you can make it do. Another tool I have also played with is WOMBO Dream, an app that creates small prompts in premade styles (but also accepts "by <artist>"), with much greater abstraction than Disco Diffusion, and only in portrait format. They too are free to use.

Disco Diffusion: https://colab.research.google.com/github/alembics/disco-diffusion/blob/c8704249481926a126f93741100facbd5471f32b/Disco_Diffusion.ipynb Most quoted starting guide: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l8s7uS2dGqjztYSjPpzlmXLjl5PM3IGkRWI3IiCuK7g/mobilebasic WOMBO Dream: https://app.wombo.art/

Check Discord and reddit for helpful communities; more links in the comments. Now finally, a diverse assortment of images I had DD create with their respective prompts! They are unaltered.

[serabellymrph]

5,18, 22

5. What is a character you love, but don’t think you can write?

Probably Robyn Hill. I'm absolutely biased as fuck because Robyn is voiced by my favourite VA (seriously--I almost never follow VAs or the like on Twitter, but Cristina Vee is just a gem. She is SO funny and SO relatable and deserves the world). I love Robyn's character as well, but I don't know. Maybe in the future/when we learn more about her I'd feel more comfortable writing her, but even after rewatching V7, I'm just not sure there's enough substance there for me to be able to write her.

18. What is one thing you’d wish to see more in the rp community?

More focus on the writing and less on the aesthetic. I see so many of these blogs that do things "because it looks nice", or in the case of some, they won't roleplay anything until they have 20938098324 icons of their character to use in threads. Your icons should not speak for you in your threads. People spend more time making their blogs and icons look pretty than they do writing, and to me... that's sad because roleplay is supposed to be writing. Sure, if you want to use icons go ahead, but when it comes to a point that you spend more time on your icons and your blog layout(s) than you do on your writing, to me, that means you've lost the spirit of what RP is in the first place.

Lastly, I'd like to see more flexibility with it. Just because someone doesn't have a fancy blog layout, or doesn't care to have one, doesn't mean they're a bad roleplayer. I'm so lazy I use the default blog layout with no icons (and have turned my stuff to dash view for the most part)--instead, I let my writing speak for itself. If someone looks at my blog and can't look past a default layout, they're not someone I probably want to interact with anyway. Once in a while, I'll put out an icon just for that extra level of oomph (or for short replies) but it's very, very rare.

22. Are there any red roleplay flags for you that make you back off immediately?

I'm putting this one under a read-more for length, LMAO--cause there's definitely a few, some of which I've encountered personally on here, some which I've encountered on other RP platforms. Keep in mind, this is beyond the obvious of not reading rules/content/etc, these are more specific things that make me back away real fast.

Excessively formatted text is a big one. We're talking extra spaces between words or letters or using more than just your basic bold or italics. Using bold and italics, or maybe capitals, for the sake of emphasis is one thing, and small text is perfectly fine (I've gravitated toward it myself, though I don't particularly care either way) but a lot of these blog layouts using "fancy" text or using font generators/font keyboards for things are an instant turn-off for me. I value accessibility. I don't mind if the dialogue is separated by a couple extra spaces or that kind of thing, but:

  ​​​​  ​​​​When  ​​​​you  get  text  that  is  LIKE  THIS  because  some  mun  feels  the  a b s o l u t e  n e e d  to  stand  out  from  the  CROWD  ?

No. Just no. Stop. I cannot begin to emphasize how it's a) pointlessly making your replies look longer when they're not, and b) it's deeply problematic and inaccessible for some muns, especially when you start adding in fancier text than just that. It hurt my eyes just to try and write that. It hurts my eyes to stare at it. And no, I have no qualms calling people out on this kind of thing. It's by far one of the most garbage trends I've ever seen in roleplay and I despise it, for so many reasons I could write an entire essay on it.

Also: people who just run their queue like mad with musings but never seem to roleplay... at all. And by at all, I mean not even doing short one-offs or dash commentary; I mean never seemingly active on their dash other than their queue filled with musings/etc. I had a few whose blogs literally just spammed my dash every 15 minutes or so with some new musing for one of their muses, and I just... ugh. I get musings are fun, but this was too much. And this was constant, day in, day out kind of spam, not just like... this person is active at the moment and doesn't feel like writing, but feels like spamming the dash for an hour or two with musing stuff to get the creativity flowing. I swear I almost never saw them roleplay or do memes, even headcanon memes/short fun memes on the dash/little dash commentaries. Ever.

And the third is blogs that are like "don't interact with this person" but don't actually give a reason why. And to clarify--it doesn't even have to be something detailed. It could be as simple as, "this person and I had a situation, it made me uncomfortable, and it still makes me uncomfortable to see them on the dash". I get it. People suck sometimes. Not feeling comfortable seeing them/not wanting to be reminded is entirely valid. And if someone is legitimately a problem, and there is evidence, screenshots, an account of the events, all that--that's helpful. That gives context. It also makes it more... memorable? Like something they're more likely to remember as opposed to "if you interact with (name) person don't interact with me". Especially if they haven't interacted with you at all (or tried, and you ignored them) and that other person gladly reaches out and wants to interact.

There are other things that often go along with this behaviour that add to it being a red flag (vaguing on the dash, constantly changing their mun name/blog names, etc) but it just... oof. It very, very much gives the outside impression that they were the problem in the scenario, not the other person, and is a massive red flag, because to me, that screams the type of person who gets their fingers in drama, and I want none of it.

FOURTHLY: Muns who don't separate IC and OOC. I've yet to see it on here, but like--people who think shipping with you means you as MUNS are in a relationship, and conversely, at times when I've seen partners on other platforms (bf/gf, married, common-law, whatever they may be) get weirdly territorial when their S.O. ships with someone else. It is the creepiest, most controlling thing I've ever seen and makes me cringe. And there's nothing wrong with writing those sorts of things with your partner--especially if it's something you both enjoy--but man. Some people get wild and it's creepy. I've been really weirdly hit on when I've made it clear I'm in a relationship, and had people get crazy upset OOC because I was shipping with more than one person, and I just... *shudders*.

[sakura-haruka]

Mike aka captainpoe is talking shit about me so let me get things straight.

He’s gonna do screenshots of what will makes him look like the victim, like he always does so you will have to believe me on my words (since I coun’t found our conversations by pm) but most people who know me or I've been following me for a long time know that I usually stay out of the drama. Big thanks to my friends for telling me what he was doing behind my back like the adult he is.

3 years ago Mike started following me, I was back then a small blog and I thought “wow a big blog is following me!”

He started to talk me and really fast told me to send him my edits by messages and I did! he also reblogged me on his mcu blog (and his sw blog too... I think).

I was really stressed with a big exam around July and I became obsess with EVERYTHING, I was a true pain in the ass to everyone. I’m not gonna lie. So yeah I also became obsess with my Tumblr notes, I did gifs to relax but it was not working very well back then. my behavior was childish and I apologized to him after! 

(He accused me of wanting to be reblogged on his sideblogs, it’s true, but it’s natural to me to reblog everything that people send me or tag me in on my sideblogs, I sincerely don’t understand people problem with reblogging on sideblogs things ).

When he got harassed on here, more like called out (it was actually around the same time I was a dick)  he asked me to take his defense and to reblog a post he made, he was basically whining about how he was the victim and never harassed anyone, he sent me messaged telling me that he was a married man in florida and never did anything against the once upon a time fandom, wasn’t homophobic and meh meh meh... Back then I believed him because he was the nice guy who was helping me getting notes in the MCU fandom. He used me, after talking to other members I realized that I wasn’t alone. 

I WANT TO APOLOGIES TO THE POEPLE I DIDN’T BELIEVED BACK THEN. I KNOW WHO HE IS NOW. 

He started being aggressive but nothing worriedly when TLJ came around, it was a real little thing but I wasn't shipping Rey x poe and I felt like it was problem for him that I wasn’t shipping them. I didn't thought too much about it but still, it left a bad taste in my mouth, I wasn’t talking a lot to him after that.

When I had problems and got hate on my blog he didn't do shit to help me. 

I was still sending me my edits because... Notes. I can’t lie about that, like every  creators here I want my edits to get notes. 

I think we haven’t talked for a verrrry long time, I was sending my edits that’s it. 

Last year he asked me to join my GOT blog, after all the reblog he did for me I thought It would be really bitchy to me to not add him as a member. But I also noted that it was funny how he joined both the B99 and the GOT fandom once he realized that it was very popular. 

He did edits on the blog so no problem at all, until s8 ended. I’m like everybody, I hated that season but when someone join my sideblogs, especially my got one, I am very clear about the no hate rule (I had problems with that on this blog before). But he thought that since he was popular he could do what he wanted, I deleted the two first he reblogged, one of them was calling people to harass D&D and I hate what they did but as someone who has been victim of bullying at school and still suffer from that I was disgusted by what he posted but I haven’t told him anything since he’s really popular and I didn’t want to create any drama... I have a life so I  finally forgot about it. 

My laptop broke and gosh, I really understood who he was at that moment! I sent a messages to all the members of my sideblogs asking them to keep the blogs active while I can’t, normal stuff for an admin. I had my tablet with no photoshop... spidey got “fired” and like a lot of other people I thought about that scene in iw where Tony told him “you’re an avenger now”, lucky me I have already made that gifset before so I took my tablet and just reposted my own gifset, it took me so long because I had to convert it back to gif format because of Tumblr... Anyway, later he sent me a message accusing me of having copied him and I haven’t seen his gifset so told him exactly that. He then accused me of doing that ALL THE TIME with endgame and I told him “listen bro we’re both using the same 30 seconds YouTube clips that marvel gave us”, like 20 other people (they were not a lot of people because that channel was weirdly unknown), it’s true that I was doing them after him but it’s just because I have a life and cannot always do gif, I make them when I have time. He also basically told me that I must be rich for having replaced my laptop that fast, I haven’t, I was using my tablet but even if I did replace my laptop, mêle toi de ton cul ( I have no English expression coming to me ).

I really understood who he was then. 

He totally stopped making edits for my got blog, because it stopped trending so it wasn’t interesting him anymore. 

a few months past and I think the only thing he told me is that he was scared of clowns... Literally. 

And then the BIG ONE, I know he was a douche but omg. Mike asked me to reblog ALL his posts on a sideblog I'm only a member of. He told me that the admin have blocked him because she was shipping reylo and well reylos hate him because he’s posting shit on them , they were a huge misunderstanding then (because i’m French and I may not have explained myself right) , I told him that I wouldn’t reblog him if the admin didn’t want to see his posts on the blog, he was blocked! and I was, at the same time, talking to another member of this blog who is a close friend of the admin and she agreed with me. he was very insisting and I told him that the admin was checking what we add to the queue and would certainly delete his posts, it was the big misunderstanding that could have hurt the admin of the blog, I just meant I know she checks what’s happening because she told me when I don’t tag a post with the right tags, it’s just what a good admin (unlike myself) does. I also told him that it was a new blog with “only” 14k followers, he must have something like 50K followers sooooo, and that his edits were getting 100K notes, more than anybody here. He became... I have no words to describe that. He told me that it was a dictatorship if I couldn’t reblog what I wanted, and that I should leave the blog, I stopped answering pretty fast after that. 

 In our last conversation I was vulgar. (it’s in the post he sent to my friends), he really need to get over it, I’m French and from Normandie : I am vulgar! wtf. It’s also the last thing he ever posted on my game of thrones blog. It was a Sunday either two days after after the last star wars movie came out or ten days ( I don’t remember if he waited a week or not) but he reblogged a text post from his blog sending hate toward the writers of both got and sw and spoiled the entire Star Wars movie on my game of thrones blog, which was “the drop of water that caused the vase to bleed” like annoy me all you want but when people goes on my got blog they don’t want to be spoiled, it was so rude and mean and that post had nothing to do there and it was at least the third time so I told him to “fucking stop” and since mr thinks he is the king he went all “you can’t talk to me like that” “I'm an adult” meh meh meh. I told him to never go in France ‘cause he wouldn't like us. And it was the last time we spoke.  Nothing to do directly with me but I would never do what he does to get notes, that man he’s ready to use any big events such as pride or women’s day to get notes. I do make edits for those events too but I'm actually a bisexual woman and not an heterosexual man and I really don’t think he’s doing those edits to show his support to those movements but just to get notes, this year he did the same thing with blm movement I thought it was disrespectful at best, he even made the famous “I we burn you burn with us” gifset  from the movie and no, just stop dude.  Making that gifset of Naya before she was even found was awful, a lot of people are doing gifs to feel better about things but I don’t think it would have came to anybody else mind to have it ready in their draft. It actually make me think of myself because after they died I made a gifset of Carrie Fisher and Stan Lee  and in my head  it was a tribute but now that I think back about it I wouldn’t make gifset when people dies anymore, I said it once again but in my head it was a tribute to those wonderful people life and work.  I did to feel people and myself a little better in those situations but it didn’t makes me feel better. I thought about it even more, especially for Carrie, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Billie and losing my mom is the worst thing that could happen to me. You can say that, at the end, Mike makes me realize something. 

He has been calling out for his behavior but instead of facing it like an adult he just want to take people down instead of him, I'm one of them and I certainly won’t be the only one.  it’s someone who doesn’t know how to face the consequences of his behavior and still think he’s untouchable, me and one of my friend said that he thought he was the king of Tumblr and I sincerely think that in his head he is. 

Sorry for the grammar I'm French and it’s almost 4 am so I'm gonna check the grammar tomorrow. 

[radramblog]

AFR Precon Commanders

Look I literally did this last week, but also, I haven’t really thought about Magic since then, so I don’t have any particular ideas about what to write other than just another long list of cards. I had an idea for an Ebondeath dech tech, but I’m going to put that on the backburner for a day where I have a bit more time.

Besides, there’s a reason Set Reviews and the like are so popular among players. They’re fun to make, and they’re fun to read/listen/watch. And for whatever reason, WoTC has opted to give us effectively two full Commander sets this year, with AFC having just as many precons and almost as many new Commanders as the 2016 precon offering. So there’s a lot going on, and a lot to talk about.

With only 12 new cards to talk about this time, and them being actually designed for the format, I’ll try to spend a bit longer on each one. And the first one is….

Catti-brie of Mithral Hall

There’s a lot going on here for two mana. Catti-brie is Selesnya’s second Equipment Commander, with her compatriot Nazahn being a bunch more impact, but also triple the mana cost. This is besides the part where Nazahn is not that good outside of finding his absolutely bonkers hammer.

I think Catti-brie has a lot of potential. With the right build, she can get very large very quickly, and considering she costs two whole mana, that’s fairly impressive. With no ramp and just Grafted Wargear, she’s swinging for 6 commander damage turn 3, and only getting bigger from there- literally a 3-swing clock with the extra counters.

I literally cannot envision you ever using that last ability unless someone snipes her mid-combat. But you probably don’t need it? I like her either way. Bit awkward she releases the same day as fellow two mana Selesnya Commander that gets bigger for (deckbuild mechanic), Trelassara.

 Galea, Kindler of Hope

…eh?

Okay, so it Future Sights, but only for Auras/Equips, and it gets the Sigarda’s Aid ability for Equipment, which is kind of gross- you get the card and mana advantage at the same time there. As someone with a Gruul topdeck deck, I know that Green doesn’t really offer much to that pie, but I know Blue absolutely does- not gonna be super hard to manipulate and chuck the swords you want on top of the deck.

But like…eh? This commander doesn’t excite me. They’re obviously powerful, but I just don’t care that much. There’s nothing they do that other things don’t, you know? Bant already has topdeck in Amareth, Auras in the three commanders from the Bant Enchantress deck, and arguably Voltron in Rafiq. I guess this is Bant equipment, but…Rafiq………..

 Karazikar, Eye Tyrant

Goad is such a fun mechanic, and I’m so happy to see it every time. Not only does this basically Edric in Rakdos, it also helps you force the issue? Yeah okay, that’s a solid commander. 5 mana is awkward, especially since they can’t really swing in safely themselves that often. With that in mind, the tap ability is deceptively strong, especially combined with, say, Menace.

There are currently 372 Kardur, Doomscourge decks, which is way, WAY more than I expected. I’d imagine a lot of those are switching to Karazikar, considering it’s basically the same but better. Not that I ever really care for “just better” cards, but not everyone sees things the same way I do.

 Klauth, Unrivaled Ancient

What if we made Savage Ventmaw a legend? Okay, cool, but also we fixed it so you can’t go infinite. Wait no stop don’t put Ventmaw in the deck anyway noooooo-

Whoever decided this should have Haste deserves a raise, as the card would be nigh-unusable without it. As it is, this is going to basically let you doublespell constantly, especially if that first one has Haste. Ramp, Beaters, and X-Spells are going to abound. It’s hardly the most unique Gruul commander- Radha 2 exists, after all- but it’s still a solid one.

 Lorcan, Warlock Collector

I think I’ve played D&D with this guy before.

Lorcan is basically Grave Betrayal in the zone. Upside: Grave Betrayal is a bonkers card, and this doesn’t have the end step clause. Downside: 7 mana in the zone is huge, and the life cost will add up very quickly. Upside: Unironically the exile clause is good, since it means you get to effectively grave-hate with this guy. Downside: some good cards, like Marshland Bloodcaster, are Warlocks, and you don’t want to be exiling your own things.

Lorcan is probably a very fun commander, because Grave Betrayal is fun and cool. It’s probably not actually a very good one. I like it in the 99, though? Might pick one up for Gonti.

 Minn, Wily Illusionist

Okay I don’t care if this card is good it’s so fucking cool. Finally, Illusion Tribal! Get out your Krovikan Mists and Lords of the Unreal! Blue has no trouble drawing extra cards, even on your opponent’s turns, so she’s going to be pumping out a bunch of these tokens.

Oh, also that second ability is bonkers. It doesn’t say nonland, you can ramp with this! Very solid for a more permanent-based Blue deck. There are also just a bunch of random Illusions that this greatly benefits- Murmuring Mystic and Mordenkainen and Meloku all make tokens, and Draining Whelk and Fathom Seer have the type. Not a huge number of sacrifice outlets, but Drowned Rusalka is probably the best it has ever been here. Very interesting card.

 Nihiloor

Mx steal-yo-girl here is certainly a unique effect, but not the most interesting one. The second effect benefits Theft tribal, but not, like, well? Though I suppose ganking creatures is a strong enough effect already.

And yet, on this one it’s really awkward? Esper isn’t known for bigboy creatures, but that’s something this deck wants, apparently. It has a lot of potential, but also, there’s a huge amount of setup and a huge potential to get blown out, since blowing them up gives all opponents their guys back immediately. I like what they were trying to do here, but it’s a tad naff.

Prosper, Tome-Bound

Ah yes, the one everyone’s hyped about. And for fair reason, this card is cool as fuck. It’s a unique effect in the colour, and it’s both card advantage and ramp in one card, and it’s in Rakdos of all combinations? Also, it’s a Tiefling, so surely people are horny for him. There’s a good reason this is the most popular commander from the set, including the main set cards.

This is not the only cast-from-exile matters commander in existence- Laelia came out this year too, but she’s weaker and also not black. The extra colour adds a bunch more to this- theft effects mostly, but also more Cascade cards like Bituminous Blast, things like Dream Devourer, and fucking Valki babyyyy. Add in the black Artifact synergy and you’ve got a both flexible and powerful general.

 Sefris of the Hidden Ways

This is probably the only commander that’s going to see any play with the Venture mechanic, so get it while it’s hot. “From anywhere” is a huge line of text, and I suspect Syr Konrad is going to find his way into a lot of Sefris decks.

I’m sure there’s a combo this can do or something, but at the end of the day: Do you like the dungeon mechanic? If so, you’ll probably like this card. If not, you probably won’t. Also, since they are surely not going to make more Dungeon cards any time soon, and maybe never again, this deck is going to look very the same for a very long time.

 Stormvald, Frost Giant Jarl

Sheesh, Bant kinda lost out on this one. Storvald is so incredibly eh.

Ward 3 is, like, juuust on the edge of not really doing that much, where it makes removal cost 4-5, so it’s awkward, but you’re still going to do it if the target is threatening enough. What I’m saying is that it isn’t actually an especially good protective ability on your 7-drop, even if you are in Green.

Making creatures big is decent enough- I’m of the opinion that Gigantomancer is an underrated card, and this gives more colours for things to embiggen. Making things small is slightly less relevant, especially since your 7/7 commander and beater are likely to be crunching through most things anyway. The card is fine, but unexciting.

I like Bant well enough as a colour combination, but like, none of the commanders are my jam. Maybe one day.

 Vrondiss, Rage of Ancients

Iiinteresting. Look, let’s not beat around the bush, dice-rolling isn’t really a thing unless you’re silver bordered- yeah you could get a few of the better things in there, but you’re probably better off just playing ping effects. Pyrohemia this fucker up.

Enrage was a funky mechanic that didn’t actually get a commander, aside from just the Dino tribal ones. But now we have a proper one, and they’re a Dragon to boot. Also, this is probably the easiest its ever been to generate a bunch of Dragon tokens, so getting triggers from them is real easy, even if they are one-shot-pops. Keep in mind that doesn’t say Combat Damage, so Scourge of Valkas and Dragon Tempest are kind of a nonbo.

Gruul obviously already has Dragon Tribal options, but this is still a good thing to have around.

 Wulfgar of Icewind Dale

WoTC apparently decided to throw everyone a curveball on this one. Because from my recollection, everyone on r/custommagic assumed we’d get this effect at some point, now that technology like Panharmonicon exists, but they and I assumed it would be, you know, Boros. The colour combo that probably needs it more. Gruul, really? Come on Gavin, you’re a great dude but what the fuck is this.

Sigh. That’s not especially fair.

This combos with like half a dozen things to make mana and probably triple that to make damage. And there’s surely ways to draw cards, and blow things up, et cetera, et cetera. I’m just salty. This isn’t the note I wanted to go out on!

Fuck it, at least you can still double a Drakuseth trigger. But my Aurelia……..

[jiminrings]

cabin pressure

pairing: taehyung x y/n

glimpse: pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

wordcount: 17k

notes: this is my first bts fic im gonna post and for sentimentality’s sake, im paying homage to the bullet-point format™️ because this is the same thing i use for my reviewers and it’s v effective in making me focus and not lose interest!!! 

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

jimin really misses you :((

you’re his longtime friend!! someone who’s stuck with him even before he was famous!!

unlike tHose who suddenly appeared claiming that “aHHHHH jimin from bts aha actually we were friends even tho i have never spoke to him once hE’s actually asking me out and-“

and he loves u to death even the both of you fond each other annoying at times

like that one time he pretended he was sick with a bug just to get u out of your very important meeting just bECAUSE he wanted u to cook up a meal he missed

“hey why are u crying and also can you pls still cook why you’re crying”

“jimin i fucking hate you”

:((

and needless to say he really made up for it because he may have screwed up your job bc he wanted you to drop EVERYTHING to cook cheesy tonkatsu for him

so yes he really went up and above just to get you to forgive him

and u know what

jimin misses his best friend so much that he’s thinking of you in the middle of a meeting

and literally at the mention of bon voyage, the gears in his head start spinning!!!!

basically his thought process was:

bon voyage = abroad = y/n = oH DAMN OH RIGHT Y/N’S A PILOT = airplane whoosh = abroad = BON VOYAGE!!!!

“PD-nim!!!!!!”

“what”

and he’s really gonna make a leap for this because it’s given that him and the boys ride in private jets and first-class and all

literally everyone is looking at him now because his previous outburst of a call was surely attention-grabbing and it makes him shrink a bit because aha :D oops lol okay so what i was saying

“i-i was thinking uhm like since, abroad, right?? my friend y/n y/l/n is a pilot!! and the airline she-...”

“you know y/n y/l/n??” bang si-hyuk literally asks with his eyes wide and everyone could tell that it was the positive type of shock

wait

what

everyone in the room is like divided with some nodding and some clapping excitedly and some just with their mouths agape

and that confuses jimin because

“you know y/n??”

bang si-hyuk, ceo of big hit entertainment, his boss,,,, knows you, his childhood best friend-

and it’s not like jimin is territorial when it comes to his best friends and most esp you!!!! but yeah he realizes that he is now, especially because everyone in the room apparently knows you??? and he’s only ever introduced you to the boys???? briefly?? hope and jin have yet to meet you in person???

“how could we not?” jungkook interjects with a bunny smile on his face and everything is seriously confusing jimin rn because honestly

“do you like live under a rock” yoongi has the most confused face ever to jimin’s cluelessness, the situation being ironic because normally the hyung is slower when it comes to these type of things

“y/n went viral all over the news like last week!! up to now even” it’s no joke that namjoon knows everyone that his members know but for jimin to hear joon speak about you in THIS degree offends him

because wait he’s your closest friend he should know these things

he’d like u to know that he isn’t bitter :)

and his eyes go wide at that because oH GOD WHAT DID YOU DO

everyone agrees to what namjoon said, still a bit dumb-founded as taehyung practically yanks jimin’s chair to sit closer near his and almost shoves his phone to his face

it’s you

in your pilot uniform with your luggage at tow

sunglasses at the top of your head and phone on-hand

your id still worn around your neck and

oh

jimin basically deduced all of these things with a couple swipes:

a) ok you look ethereal in those pics

b) it was supposed to be a stolen picture of this dude but you were in the background and you cOMPLETELY stole the show

c) someone zoomed in on you and edited so now basically your ethereal being got even more magnified

d) someone zoomed in on your id (he got a lil bit mad at that)

e) aha the internet loves you

f) edits and i have thirty minutes i am free this saturday retweets and digging into your images in social media EVERYTHING!!! the whole nine yards!!!!

when you woke up to that frenzy though

you literally couldn’t function for five minutes and then you started catching up and digging in on what was happening

“but i don’t look ethereal!! my skin is dry n oily at the SAME time because of cabin air and my eyes are stinging!!! i look ghastly and only a little bit fresh because of the air u get when you’re 50,000 feet up in the air!! but im-...”

oh that’s it you went viral completely on accident

you were just waiting for the free service back home your airline offers it pilots, because you brought your car to work but you were too tired to drive back home

but now you are viral in the worldwide interwebs with articles and twitter threads about you and multiple multiple DMs that make your phone freeze and

wait did your airline just email you about that :D

oh lol did beyoncé just follow you :D

basically jimin got his brothers giving him a three-minute crash course each about what happened with their managers even stepping in to gush

he basically can’t believe that he didn’t know that!! even if you didn’t mention it to him, he should’ve known because it was practically everywhere!!!!

bang si-hyuk is well-pleased and even got jimin to tell how he knew you and what you were like and he was very much :O when he got into the word that aish!!! his employee has really been living under a rock lmao

by then, the conversation about bon voyage has been slightly derailed to talk about you

who knew that jimin simply mentioning your name (lol he didn’t need to because the conversation about you was nearing anyway) would land the meeting to

“oh! actually! the airline y/n works at reached a couple of weeks ago about a proposal to get bts to star in a commercial for them!!”

and now they’re hyped because yes they endorsed clothes and food and malls and establishments but never did they endorse an AIRLINE!!! a damn airline!!!!

okay so now not only did they tackle that you would pilot for them in bon voyage

“ah! you could like also play games on the way there with y/n!!”

“wHO WILL PILOT THE PLANE THEN??? we’re gonna crash!!!”

“you’re thick, jungkook, and not in the way you think so lmao”

“maybe we could extend their vacation! shoot a skit or two with them being flight attendants for run!! one week for shooting, two weeks for resting!! two birds with one stone, really”

an airline commercial

a couple run bts! episodes

a whole season of bon voyage (with a longer production because they have longer vacation days)

more traction for them

more time than he ever wished for to be with you!! :D

soon enough the meeting is finished and it went so good that the boys were gonna be treated to a beef dinner so

everyone’s scattered and dispersed, some making small talk w him about you that makes him smile

taehyung’s lingering behind him with his hands on his back

“what is it, tae?”

the younger boy is just giggling and fiddling with his hands, a careless shrug to his shoulders

“can i have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

“aish!! if jungkook were to ask for her number, you would’ve given it to him in a heartbeat because he’s the youngest!! and-...”

“ya!! thanks for reminding hyung! jimin-hyung may i also pls have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

...

jin had to drag jimin with him bc he wasn’t done shooting the both of them glares and his cheeks were practically pink with how annoyed he was at the younger two

needless to say taehyung and jungkook didn’t have any extra portions of beef from him

he is very protective of you and even if he’s become closer with his brothers more than he’s been close with you he jUST can’t help it!!

not that he doesn’t trust them or anything

not that he doesn’t trust you either

but he doesn’t want figurative blood on his figurative ledger because he feels that it would be his responsibility if ever yOu and someone became a thing and HE was the one who inteoduced you both :(

it’s not just a him thing :( he can’t put it into words but he’s just looking out for both parties!!!

kinda figured out that taehyung may or may not have a shy little crush on you

spoiler alert: it was HUGE

for their entire dinner, every single time your name was brought up, tae instinctively has his ears perk up at the mention

simultaneously he shrinks to his seat and purses his lips and looks around to what’s being said

why are u mentioning y/n’s name?? what is happening??

and taehyung having a serious case of sweater paws doesn’t help him from jimin’s observing gaze

and yes he feels a bit sorry because taehyung kinda looks a bit upset; that little “oh :((“ on his face when jimin snapped at him so quick

he’s not gonna force him to tho,, out of respect since someone else is involved (and in this case it’s you and your number)

jimin nudges him by the shoulder to get his attention

everyone’s passed out at this point because the beef was so damn good

tae kinda looks spaced out so he turns his head immediately and he forgot for a second that he was supposed to be cold with jimin

“what?”

“..... do you still want y/n’s number?”

taehyung almost fALLS out of his chair as he nods eagerly, making jimin shake his head to himself as he hesistantly takes out his phone from his pocket

oh god jimin’s phone is on his hand now oh god that’s your picture oh god that’s your number oH-

“i’m not gonna text her tonight if that’s you’re worried about?? i mean we barely know each other!! consider me asking for her number to be used for future references only :D”

“what does future references even mean?”

...

“... luggage. i want y/n’s luggage bag.”

...

“i also want y/n’s-...”

“BUTT OUT JUNGKOOK!! BUTT !! OUT !!”

when you open up your company’s email to you, you really can’t help but to feel nervous

today was your off-day and they specifically requested that you come to the main office at 10 AM sharp

and in your off-day, you aren’t even awake at that time of the morning!!

it wss both a blessing and a curse that you slept early the night before so your body clock just went “lol u wake up early today get up at 6”

and not to mention the fact that it was the same day you learned that you went viral last night when you were peacefully asleep

so the last few hours have been WILD and it kinda put you into shock

the closest you’ve ever been to fame was having your pictures leaked with jimin when you were still kids!!

if you were lucky enough, your face would be covered by every possible animal emoji that was ever released

apart from that, it was the occassional mention of your name in stan twitter and that was it

but THIS type of fame is on a whole another level!! higher than being tagged as jimin’s best friend outside of bts!! higher than having your face covered with animal emojis

when you thought that you were gonna be fired over being viral for some reason unbeknownst —

even if you know that you haven’t violated anything and if anything, you were the one who got violated because someone uploaded a picture of you without your consent!!!

so when you learn that they aren’t mad at all and ecstatic in fact

because your airline basically got free publicity and promotion just because you looked so good in pictures that weren’t even intentional

and that there is a more than noticeable spike in the bookings of flights

and that people were cALLING to ask if you would be the one to pilot that flight

AND RIVAL AIRLINES WERE CALLING IN TO ASK WHEN YOUR CONTRACT WOULD EXPIRE

and that said rival airlines were pitching in salaries that competed with your paycheck now aND THAT THEY WERE EVEN higher

needless to say that your day was more than eventful

you don’t know how to cope up with it either so while the meeting drags on to talk about your newfound fame you’re just :O the entire time

“i believe that park jimin from bts is a close friend of yours, correct?”

wAIT what

you shouldn’t be shocked by now because practically everyone’s familiar with him and the rest of the boys

but it still takes you off-guard because as much as he is your friend

and as much you admit that you miss jimin :(

or that you haven’t talked to him as much these past few days

you genuinely don’t see the connection of why jimin would be brought up into this conversation that doesn’t involve him in the first place

there’s a self-pitying realization in between that it seems like your only determining factor these days was to be known as a best friend of a kpop idol and nothing else

:(

that’s a sad topic you’d rather not delve in at the moment

:(

“prior to you being catapulted into fame suddenly — we reached out to their company for them to become our endorsers. a commercial and a billboard and some other things.”

“and this is just the pERFECT timing because you’re famous now and people love you!!!”

this was it

the stars were aligning for you

not only do you get to hang out with jimin, but now you’re launched into much more job opportunities!!

when the meeting concluded, you narrow it down to the conclusions that:

a) you’re most likely to film a commercial and some adverts and perhaps be included in a billboard with them (their company has yet to confirm within the week but your ceo ji-eun is damn sure at this point or else she will flip

b) you’re now getting an agent :D because apparently offers have been waiting for you left and right and they already got you one before you even said “yeah sure i guess???”

c) you’re getting a RAISE

d) sooner or later you’re gonna do this photoshoot so your own company could post about you this time

e) interviews. you’re gonna be asked to chat your heart out intentionally. i n t e r v i e w s

and it’s a humbling moment for sure because it’s like 

oh. you didn’t mean for this to happen but it’s here now and you can make the most of this while it’s still here!! you get to do what you love and be with the people you love and basically get paid for it!!

oh is this what jimin feels like all the time then??

maybe you should apply as the 8th member of bts

it’s during an intentionally cold night in your apartment that your phone basically vibrates itself off the table

right when you were still in the bathroom taking your time because you were getting PR!! and the mask you just put on happens to be something you’ve been curious about but it was too expensive for you to be curious about lol

also: curiosity that leads you to buy either new skincare products or makeup are either a godsend or a godforsaken situation because 6 out of 10 times you do that, you breakout!!! 

the sound of something clattering to the ground immediately makes you scramble towards your living room, phone flipped over to see jimin up close, eyes even in a picture enough to intimidate you for not answering immediately

“Y/N!!!”

“JIMIN!!!”

the both of you put each other on speaker mode because while you didn’t want to risk ruining your mask, the rest of the boys wanna listen in

the entire phone call was so intense because even in speaker mode you were still yelling at each other

and it was spent with so much enthusiasm on trying to catch up with the past days and jimin apologizing profusely because he’s been living under a rock

“i can’t believe it!! I CAN FINALLY RIDE IN ON A FLIGHT YOU’RE GONNA PILOT”

what

wait

“... jimin what do you mean”

because as far as you knew, the airline commercial would be done with a green screen to ensure that it’s of the best quality

not a gopro type of thing because ur flight attendants would yell real-time to the camera crew and the boys when they try to do something and the seatbelt sign is still on!!!

“wait jimin i think y/n wasn’t supposed to know that yet”

you hear a voice in the background and it’s very much familiar and it’s now hitting you that there’s an audience for your entire call

“namjoon, is that you???”

“Y/N IT’S ME!!! NAMJOON!! OMG”

and then you hear this scuffle over the line and a very slight commotion

it’s jimin holding his phone away with his arm and the other fending off namjoon while hobi scrambles to steal it back

jin is helplessly saying hello to you in the background while jungkook is hopping around going all “miss y/n i am a fan of you!!!”

taehyung is going all sweater paws again while yoongi is desperately trying to shut them up because he’s still listening into yours and jimin’s conversation and he’s genuinely engrossed ok

and now everyone’s calm and collected especially since jimin gives them a death glare each and nobody admits but angry jimin scares the shit out of them

he’s back to being soft-spoken now because he realizes that he may have slipped in saying information he probably shouldn’t have yet, a sheepish scratch at the back of his head

“uhm well you see you’re gonna fly us over for bon voyage and uhm kinda stick around for some pieces here and there?? uhm that’s from what i know hehe”

right now you’re just blanking out and staring into the distance and you’ve suddenly gone awfully quiet

yoongi’s on the background like “yo i think you just broke her”

“is y/n’s cell broken? i’m gonna get her a new one”

“is she okay?? wHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER???”

“jimin-hyung you said y/n sometimes forgets to lock her door right??”

it’s once again another frenzy and once you realize that you’ve blanked out, you immediately shush them and they miraculously do

it’s a feeling of being overwhelmed and disbelief because this is more than you’ve ever asked for

to think that just last week you were tired and was about to pull off an AWOL because your off-day couldn’t have come nearer

“i certainly didn’t know that”

and there’s a nervous chuckle and a nervous silence that encompasses and for a moment, jimin frowns because he thinks that this is all too much for you and you’re gonna turn down the offer even before it’s gonna be officially pitched to you at a meeting tomorrow (you have yet to know that there’s gonna be another meeting tomorrow)

“oh my god i get to be with the lot of you!!!”

one excited shriek from you and that’s all it takes for hell to break loose

“JIMIN I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I CAN’T WAIT TO WHACK YOUR HEAD AGAIN”

“i can fINALLY meet jin and hope!!”

“where’s namjoon?? this old lady from one of my flights own a stall at the airport and she’s afraid of riding in airplanes! and i was apparently so good and she wasn’t scared and that she waited for me outside the cockpit! she gave me a written note saying that i could come to her stall anytime and the bOOKS I’M GONNA CHOOSE WILL BE FREE OF CHARGE EVERY SINGLE TIME”

“yoongi if you’re hearing this; i heard kyle kuzma’s gonna fly first class next week and i fly that same aircraft do u want me to ask for an autograph”

“we have a boatload of dog treats we give for lil ones we have onboard so they stay behaved!! taehyung can have them for yeontan”

“tell jungkook that he can finally have my walkie-talkie he’s been bugging me about!! i have a new one anyway”

it’s official

they love you

they are practically swooning right now and are mad at jimin because wHY DIDN’T YOU LET US KNOW Y/N SOONER 

they only met you a couple times in the past and hobi and jin are jealous because atleast they got to meet you :((

and all of them are willing to take a splinter for you no doubt 

everyone goes to sleep that night all warm and fuzzy and content

not to mention taehyung being so giddy about what you said

not only did you think of him you also thought about yeontan aNd you haven’t even met the little devil yet!!

and he isn’t the only one who thinks of this but

there’s just something about you that is so warm and so genuine

like you could be as introverted as yoongi and be as much of a team player and and extrovert as taehyung is when needed be

but the point is that there’s always something about you for everyone that makes them gravitated towards you

of course jimin explains this to you and you basically shut him off

“aish don’t put me in a pedestal because i swear that i’m not that special”

“why won’t you believe me??”

“because it isn’t true now eat your cereal jimin i will pinch you thru the screen”

the meeting comes soon enough and you have to pretend that this was your first time hearing this bit of information

the pilot you were helping learn the ropes, hyunjin, will take over your normal workload for the meantime!!

in less than one week’s time, you have to pack your bags for three-ish weeks!! because as from what you can tell, things are gonna be a bit more hectic for you because you’re not only gonna fly planes

for a run episode, the boys are gonna be your flight attendants in a mock flight with the passengers as staff members

but the plane being in the air and them wearing flight attendant uniforms will be very much real

and then another episode to be squeezed in with them trying out flight simulators and quizzed with aviation facts 

and whether u did the best or the worst with the two-part episode

they’re still gonna go skydiving :)

they’re really milking out the sky motif but ok it wasn’t your show anyway and you were just gonna guest so they can go off by all means

after all that work, you’re gonna fly them off again but it’s for bon voyage this time!!

they basically res for two-ish weeks and you can tag along behind the scenes because i mean like you’re flying them home too so might as well

get some clips in between to be used for the commercial

and said commercial would be shot a few days after you all get back from said vacation!!

that’s it narrowed down and as you were taking notes, you can’t help but to feel very excited and nervous at the same time

a few days pass and it’s finally time!! yeah sure run episode but JIMIN AND THE BOYS CAN FINALLY SEE YOU NOW

you were supposed to reunite in the aircraft itself but jimin is an impatient baby which is why he’s called you insistently to say some excuse of “you have to go back to the empty boarding gate u need to meet your camera director”

lol but in truth you really don’t need to and where they are now is what you need to pass to get to said boarding gate

so when jimin sees you by the jet bridge they were all at, he sprints

like actually SPRINTS to get to you 

and he attacks you with a massive bear hug and sprinkles you with noisy cheek kisses

“Y/N *kiss* I *kiss* MISSED *kiss* YOU *kiss* SO *kiss* MUCH *kiss*”

no lie you really did miss him too

and once you get him to calm down because he was crushing your bones and you return his cheek kisses

the boys are all just looking at the scene in front of them with awe

jungkook’s looking at namjoon with his eyes saying “lol imma do that too” and namjoon’s staring back going “NO”

taehyung’s extra pouty right now

he didn’t conisder the fact that maybe you and jimin were an unspoken thing and that his crush on you is now something he shouldn’t hold onto

he got discouraged very quickly

hobi is waddling to you at full-speed and goes for a hug which is wild move for someone who he’s just met (but u don’t mind)

“you’re adorable your uniform is so cute omg”

jin goes in for a hug too and you say something along the lines of “i could see the handsomeness they were talking about” and he goes absolutely rED

he’s laughing uncontrollably like a seal 

namjoon was about to go in for a hug but then he sees your wrist and-

“iS THAT A KAWS WATCH???”

“OH MY GOD YOU NOTICED???”

“HOW COULDN’T I? THAT’S LIKE LIMITED EDITION HOW DID YOU GET IT”

“I HAVE A FRIEND THAT’S A COLLECTOR HE GIFTED IT TO ME I CAN GET YOU CONNECTED TOO”

you are now being wrapped with namjoon’s long arms 

he doesn’t seem to be letting go of you soon

yoongi just has his arms wide and his eyes in a faux irritated manner

“what are you looking at”

and then his gummy smile appears when you just cave into his hug and jin is like??? “aH! y/n’s power is unparalleled”

jungkook immediately goes in for an embrace and even twirls you around

“ooh!! you have more piercings now than the last time i saw you!”

“i can pierce ears now!!”

“jungkook can you really”

“lmao no”

and now that it seems like hugging is the new norm, and taehyung being the last in line for you to greet, that kinda burns your nerves becauseif you were to “admit, you may or may not have a little crush on taehyung ever since the first time jimin introduced the both of you to each other

so you do the sensible thing and don’t think about it

no thoughts head empty head first

“tae!!!”

“aha y/n :D”

you hug him and well

taehyung blanked at that and panicked internally

the stark difference of your enthusiasm and his timid response was cringeworthy and it makes you screw your eyes shut as you hug him

but the moment tae realizes this, he holds on as you were trying to let go of him as qUICK as possible because it was too awkward for you to bear

and a little crushing if you were being honest

taehyung now takes first place for wanting to be reincarnated as a rock in the next life

after yoongi seeing that interaction he was just like ᵒᵒᶠ

before it goes anymore awkward though and tae starts squawking, jimin thankfully whisks you away 

“you look so badass in your uniform will u let me wear it”

“let me wear your hoops and i’ll let u borrow”

“lol forget that i even asked”

no matter what, jimin doesn’t let you borrow his earrings!!

like even if the boys borrow some from him time to time

he absolutely does not let you borrow and when you ask why, he just rolls his eyes and smacks his lips and goes N-O

and then eventually he has to shoo you out because they have to film the intro at the jet bridge and you’re not supposed to be there really

jungkook excitedly squeezes you again and goes “see you later!!”

jeon jungkook knows what he’s doing

so right before the cameras start rolling, he’s just staring at the side of taehyung’s face in close proximity with a teasing smile on his face and then wiggles his eyebrows in the slightest when tae finally returns his stare with a knowing glare

“what was that awhile ago, hyung?”

“one more word out of ur mouth and i’m ratting you out to-...”

“i was just kidding hehe don’t rat me out to namjoon that i accidentally stained his precious table hehe pls”

and he blinks at that and is taken aback

because that was supposed to be an empty threat

and now that jungkook realizes he’s fallen smack-dab into the trap, he now wants to ignite himself

taehyung now has blackmail material :D

jungkook is now held captive by said blackmail material :D

they eventually get done with their intro and into the aircraft itself!! jimin is the one to introduce you and throughout the whole ordeal they’re just hyped-up bc it’s the first time they get to do this type of episode

and they’re doing it with you so that’s a plus

and they get changed into their custom flight attendant attire

snug pink get-up with a silk navy blue scarf tied around as the uniform’s collar 

and golden nameplates engraved with their names on it

and AIR BANGTAN embroidered into the breast pocket!!

they looked absolutely good

your work would be lighter if only they were your actual flight attendants

you’d work every single day

even though they could be tiresome at times bc they could be all over the place

taehyung was admittedly swooning the whole time

the production staff made you alter your speech a bit so you could insert air bangtan and introduce all seven of them individually for the skit

and then everyone’s briefed with what they have to do and how safety should be the no. 1 priority

and then it’s takeoff time!!!!

jimin is really really proud of you

he takes advantage of this as his bragging rights

“aha that’s my best friend who’s flying the plane we are in right now :)”

“lol i love y/n i was best friends with her first :)”

“best take-off ever in your life amirite :)”

“i’m friends with a pilot in case you didn’t know :) no big deal”

“technically that’s captain jimin to you too now :)”

it was a fun and a chaotic episode

a bit unsafe? yes

but then the icing at the top was taehyung swooning at everything you did and cussing at himself every time he remembers how he screwed up earlier

he is the most behaved person in this flight and he wants you to know that :((

yoongi’s mercilessly teasing him

“y/n’s gonna come out to do her landing speech soon; you should pretend reading the safety manual now”

“somebody give taehyung a barf bag and a pen he’s gonna ask for an autograph from y/n”

“ey jimin do they sell y/n’s perfume in this flight?? someone just wants to ask”

the episode wraps soon enough but not without jimin rowding everyone to CLAP FOR THE PILOT WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE MY BEST FRIEND AHA EVERYTHING WAS SO SMOOTH SO COMFY QUICK TAKE A PICTURE OF ME N MY PILOT BEST FRIEND :D

and there’s just this innate feeling everyone feels every once in a while

that everything feels so right and so complete

it’s like complete nirvana

and before you know it, bon voyage is already happening

a vacation with seven best friends (jimin insists that he has the superlative best when you’re talking about them as friends) 

(and maybe one of them you don’t see as a best friend and perhaps something more and that person really doesn’t show much enthusiasm for you as you do for him)

(it’s taehyung)

and it’s not like taehyung isn’t fond of you

in fact, he very much is!! believe him!!

it’s just that he’s paralyzed over his crush on you and the fact that he sees you often because of these circumstances and he can’t believe it

too paralyzed over the fact that he might and may have already made a fool out of himself

and that he’s afraid to make moves on you with the boys here because jESUS CHRIST

he knows he would be teased mercilessly or he would be teased mercilessly while they help him out but they would never let him live this down

and jimin

oh god jimin

because as much as jimin loves him, he knows that one wrong move on you and he knows he’s gonna yeet him to the han river

he doesn’t know either what would be jimin’s reaction if he knew of his crush on you!! will he flip? will he be happy? wILL HE FORBID HIM FROM SEEING YOU EVER AGAIN????

at times he could be very overbearing

and he admits that

but all for good cause as he tries to explain

oh and jungkook

damn jungkook

he’s caught on pretty quickly about tae’s crush on you

and kook likes you but not in the way tae likes you

it’s just a fuzzy, warm, and platonic type of like like what the other boys have for you

but with fLIRTINESS

jimin’s the same but it was natural since you’ve been friends for absolutely ages

jungkook’s however was very fresh and very aBRUPT

it’s him trying to get a rise from taehyung and urging him to just make a damn move on you

he hopes that his flirtiness with you would just intimidate his hyung to the point that “open your eyes!!! oh what am i doing?? don’t you feel that i’m trying to steal y/n away from you?? MAKE A MOVE!!” gets across

taehyung has yet to realize that though

bon voyage doesn’t really include you (as you also try to remove yourself out of the picture as much as possible)

the cameras aren’t always turned on and not all hours of the day are spent on filming

so they can still get to do things and activities without staff members flooding the house!!

the house you’re all staying at is a gigantic one

so it got divided into two wings and you can even close it off!!

one wing solely for the boys and the other for you and the production staff

you were at their wing more often than you are in yours though

and during these past few days that turned into weeks, you’ve been closer to them more than you could imagine

they were easy to get around with!! them knowing that jimin knows you is a plus factor if you think about it

and even if not for that fact, they still think not much would’ve changed in your present friendship dynamic right now

it was comforting to be with them, really

the other way around!!

and you could also hang out with them either individually or as a group and it wouldn’t be awkward!!

.. taehyung may or may not be a slight issue though

you honestly think that he hates you :(

and you’re trying to backtrack your actions to see if you may have done something to him

you always try to keep up with his energy

jungkook was fooling around with a drone and trying to experiment flying it

and then he suddenly had this idea of “tae do you think you could outrun my drone”

and kook’s whipping his head around for you as if in a silent question to ask “wait is that possible”

and you’re just over there narrowing your eyes like “jungkook just because i’m a pilot,,,,, it doesn’t mean i know every flying object in the air and how to operate it,,,,,”

...

“but y/n can you outrun my drone tho”

it’s the sudden challenge that takes you aback and makes your eyebrow raise

and then it’s become a cHALLENGE

taehyung’s competitiveness making him forget that you’re even there and that he’s not acting all conscious

so it’s literally all fun and laughter

and the both of you may or may not be so caught up into this stupid challenge you stupidly both participated to

you’re not even sure if there was a rEWARD for this

so stupidly caught up to the point that jungkook’s already led the both of you to the beach that you were overlooking from the house you all stayed at

(jungkook’s running with the drone and that completely destroys the purpose of the drone but he’s having fun too ok)

before you knew it, both you and tae are crashing full-speed into the beach and it takes a collective second for you to realize that you both were indeed wet when you’re hip-deep into the water

and it sends another burst of laughter and you’re just looking at him helplessly and out of breath

“oh my god i didn’t even-...”

it hits taehyung now that he’s having full-on eye contact with you on what the fuck is he doing

he just immediately tenses and all the alarms in his head are going off

‘hahahaha yes :)”

and there it is again

that noticeable shift in the air that makes your mouth dry at what could you have possibly done

he’s quick on walking himself out of the water, quite literally leaving you there

jungkook’s by the shoreline laughing himself to death and sees taehyung waddling himself out

“hYUNG OMG YOU DIDN’T EVEN-...”

ok what was that

what the fuck was that

he only gets a blank laugh in return and it’s a dampener for his mood right now

and it only sinks in now that why is taehyung returning by himself

“y/n did you drown????”

no you didn’t drown

but the idea did seem enticing because you felt so embarrassed and down with what just happened

so right now jungkook just has his arm around your shoulders as he’s trying to figure everything out

“did i -- did i do something wrong?”

and even if the context isn’t clear. he immediately says no

the both of you are just walking back to the house while the sun sets and he still isn’t sure of what happened but he knows that it’s enough to make you sad and most probably has something to do with taehyung

he just wants to cheer you up :(

so mid-way he kinda picks you up wordlessly and you don’t fight him about it

you’re completely drained of your energy both physically and emotionally

you melt into jungkook’s grasp on you as your way of thanks and he acknowledges it with a squeeze on your arm

by the time you get back, everyone’s just doing their own thing because it’s nearing dinner

kook kinda plops you into the couch yoongi’s sitting on

his eyes question that something’s kinda off but he doesn’t question it

and you just crawl the short distance so that you’re laying on his lap and be sad in peace there

all he does it just past your head once and that’s it

and he’s just watching a replay of a basketall game because he hasn’t had time to catch up with those championship games (even if he knows who won and who lost)

and out of the blue yoongi just hears you softly pipe in

“my ex is a professional basketball player”

“wHO’S YOUR EX WHAT KIND OF PROFESSIONAL ARE-...”

and you shush him bc you don’t want anybody else to know

“omg jimin doesn’t know this?? and i’m like the first one to know?”

“yes”

oh and he kinda huddles because after all, this is a secret and it does have something to do with basketball

“professional as in he played in this show you’re watching rn”

“is he in this game????”

“lol no from what i know, he got injured even before championship but yeah his team’s playing right now”

“what’s his name???”

“theo. i call him theo”

and then that name sounds awfully familiar and he’s specifically requesting to see what he looked like and even tries to get hobi to look for your phone

but your pictures with him are all deleted now so you just make yoongi search up his name and he’s like :O

“....... why did you break up then..,,.,”

and then you just gently explain that it was a mutual decision and that both your jobs were demanding

so yeah it was impossible to happen

and yoongi forgot that fifteen minutes ago, jungkook just plopped you here because you wanted to lie down and were too sad to function

and he made you retell what happened to you and your ex that only he knows about

so he feels a little guilty

“you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to :(”

and you just wave him off that catches him off-guard

“nah it’s all okay :)”

man were u selfless

yoongi now loves you more

jin and namjoon finish dinner soon enough and everybody goes down to eat

even taehyung who’s with jimin

and it doesn’t even look like something’s wrong

but jimin’s counting all the heads in the room and was like ‘wAit where’s y/n???”

he sees you getting yourself out from lying in yoongi’s lap and he’s there with you in a heartbeat cooing at you

“y/n baby what happened”

and you’re back to lying down again but this time it’s jimin pushing you to lie on his shoulder as he’s stroking your hair

you said “nothing”, you know...,,., like a liar

jimin throws yoongi a questioning look and the older boy just shrugs his shoulders because he doesn’t know either

taehyung’s abandoned at the edge of the stairs

and you were about to scoff but that obviously doesn’t hurt as much when he abandoned you hip-deep into the water

“mhmmm i see :D”

jimin most definitely knows you’re lying but he doesn’t want to prod into it because it’s obvious that you weren’t in the mood to be questioned

at this point he’s just trying to cheer you up but in the same time give you sustenance

he’s literally feeding you right now

jin cooked up a lot of box mac n’ cheese (he transferred it into actual bowls) from the conveniece store and you know what

he wanted to try it out

it is not the healthiest thing in the world but atleast it’s somehow foreign right???? 

as much as jimin loves you, he does want to eat though

so he asked jungkook to get him a big-ass bowl with a portion big enough for the both of you and he did just that 

but you aren’t that much cooperative because you’re not eating that much and jimin is really really enticed with the smell of the food rn and jungkook senses that

“i’ll feed her, hyung!! go get another spoon for you or something”

he is really thankful for that so he just pushes the bowl to kook and scrambles for a utensil and perhaps even his own bowl

jungkook’s feeding you now and without jimin sending you a questioning glance every two seconds, you’re more cooperative 

taehyung is sitting by the far corner of the couch parallel to yours and he is CLENCHING

and he’s groaning to his mac n’ cheese and namjoon is ??? why are you like this ???

“good. it tastes so good.”

he nods but he’s still sending tae a questioning look

you eventually gained the appetite to eat

but jungkook was in charge of the dishes tonight and he doesn’t want to wash one more spoon so he insisted that you just share one instead

taehyung is gonna COMBUST

he is now practically yelling into his mac n’ cheese

everyone is now ??? at him and he makes a show of just shoving the bits of pasta to his mouth

“jin-hyung :) namhoon-hyung :) this is so delicious :) how did you do this :)”

“...... taehyung that’s instant,,,, boiled water and the cheese powder...,.,”

“aHA so that’s why :)”

his actions are v fishy and v funny 

but deep down he is boiling angry and frustrated both at himself and a jungkook

kook is giggling to the bowl right now that you had to pry it away from him

you’re not even LOOKING at taehyung’s direction

usually you did

but your will to treat him like how he treats you is stronger

that’s it that’s gonna be the rest of the trip

if there’s any personality trait you’re gonna pick up from jimin from having been his friend for so long

it would be the stubbornness

you avoid taehyung like the flu

AND HE NOTICES THAT

AND THE BOYS ARE STARTING TO NOTICE IT TOO

jimin is the one most on-guard about that 

and he is whispering to everyone except taehyung 

“if you see something that relates to y/n and taehyung tell me ok tELL ME!!!”

and even tae feels sad about it to the point that he’s trying to make a conscious effort in making conversation with you

when you’re on the floor with your laptop turned on and they’re surrounding you trying to help you out with your emails

emails that don’t relate to aviation work and more-on to the viral side of things such as designer !!! brands !!! reaching out to you personally instead of your agent!!!

“mhmm they have really good shoes. what’s your favorite color anyway?”

and he says that in the midst of voices overlapping bUt the boys realized that taehyung gave input into the conversation and wAS LIKe wait wait tae’s speaking shut up shut up

but jimin answers for you in a heartbeat and hobi pinches his arm and he was laughing suddenly

he’s looking around trying to say something with eyes

“lol i’m sorry did i ruin his move on y/n”

and his subconscious-

“WAIT WHAT TAEHYUNG IS MAKING MOVES ON Y/N???”

it takes all four of his hyungs to plead him to shut up with their glares and don’t make this anymore awkward as tae wants to be swallowed wholly by the ground

your resolute will doesn’t crumble until jimin makes it his ultimate mission to find a drink that’s gonna sink you

because your alcohol tolerance was brought up again when they were talking about buying drinks

and jimin tells the story of how you outdrank him one night and didn’t wake up with a deadlier hangover than he did aNd he was still curious to how you did it

you don’t know either but you’re as interested as them in finding a drink that’s gonna sink you

hobi’s random pick in the grocery store did JUST that

you finally sunk

you finally got as drunk as jimin’s level

as in a shit-faced type and not just a happy buzz you usually felt

you and jin have been laughing without end for five minutes now

no one even joked

you just made eye contact with each other and you both immediately started to wheeze 

he was starting to get so red he looked borderline pURPLE if you were still seeing clearly

yoongi was laughing by seeing the two of you laugh because it was starting to get contagious at the point 

by now namjoon’s back was being slapped carelessly by yoongi who’s pleased with himself

taehyung has a grin on his face because you were so adorable

as if his cheeks weren’t warm enough just by seeing you so happy and bubbly

and the heat in his chest isn’t just because of the alcohol nor the warmth his sweater provided

maybe this isn’t a little crush anymore :((

while he’s ignoring that possibility, everyone else is considering it

everyone besides you :((

jimin’s on his feet at the moment because oh my god it’s happening!!!

good news because you’re drunk out of your mind

and bad news that you’re drunk out of your mind

so he’s tending to you with a glass of water and you won’t drink it

he’s trying harder this time by putting the glass to your lips but you were flailing around so much by laughing that it spilled some to you and jimin himself

he’s now looking for a straw

this one’s for boba but he has to settle for this now

and he’s trying to coax you into drinking it

hE’S EVEN USING A VOICE HE USES FOR BABIES

“but water tastes like nothing :((”

“which is exactly what you need”

“but i want it to taste like something”

he’s about to groan but then he sees your eyes glossing 

and oh god did he hear a whimper

“y/N BABY DON’T CRY OK OK WHAT DO YOU WANT????”

he’s now looking for an ice cold chocolate drink that isn’t overly sweet

namjoon has made it his personal decision to follow jimin around

and with his twofold clumsiness at this state, yoongi follows him but not without holding on to the back of jooni’s shirt so he could be slid around

jin stands up and follows them but he’s not sure why

“why are you all -- this is NOT a conga line!!!”

hobi’s staring into the distance turned into snoring

taehyung isn’t all that drunk

but you, on the other hand, are very much drunk

tae’s not sure to why you’re approaching him

maybe it’s because the hoodie he’s wearing now is jungkook’s

maybe it’s because jimin’s scent is on his hair from having borrowed his shampoo

maybe it’s because you’re drunk and your first thought is him even if drunk

but all his thoughts fly out the door when you’re squeezing yourself into the couch he’s lying on at the very moment

one that’s too small for the two of you and that he had to grab you split-second because you were about to fall out of the couch so hard if not for his strong grip that holds you

“y/n.”

taehyung’s not sure either to what his tone contained

whether it was for warning or for reprimanding, literally all his thoughts are crushed once again the moment you speak

“you’re voice is very deep.”

he’s not sure if you know this either but you were unconsciously cuddling up to his side, filling in the gap at the couch that just made you barely fit

you’re

cuddling

him

“a-and it’s very calming.”

he’s not sure to why but the moment you put your hand on his chest because you were basically almost lying on top of him

his first instinct was to put his hand on the small of your back

and the moment and the feelings were so warm that fuck this isn’t the alcohol anymore

nor the sweater

so warm to the point that the both of you don’t notice jimin’s :O and everyone else’s :D

because the make-shift conga line has arrived right in front of where you are and hobi just woke up

and right when everything feels surreal 

taehyung watches a split-second decision happen right in your eyes

you just kissed the tip of his nose

:’)

taehyung thinks he’s gonna ascend to heaven

it’s the softest moment ever because you pull away trying to gauge his reaction

he’s all red with his bottom lip in between his teeth and oh my god his eyes are so expressive

jimin steps in tho

and he clears his throat and taehyung iS SUDDENLY BACK TO EARTH

oh my god oh my god that just happened oh my god

this is a bit more scary and intimidating now

because jimin doesn’t look neither thrilled nor angry

he looks neutral

neutral blank-faced on the verge of who knows what jimin is the most frightening jimin

“hey baby here’s your chocolate drink you asked for :)”

and with just a head rub you immediately come to your senses and are already making grabby hands to the cold mug (with a straw!!) and you’re scrambling to stand up and jimin’s helping you to stay stable because you’re attached to him now

taehyung is now looking at his hands as if they were the most entertaining things in the world “wow look at my rings i have never seen them before so shiny so silver”

and he knows jimin can see right through him

jimin has the tiniest hands out of all of them while he has the largest

and u know what

he could be still strangled with those same hands 

and u know what too

maybe he’ll accept that wrath because he kinda deserves it  

he’s sent a brief look that’s enough to let him know that the both of them will talk

that taehyung shouldn’t leave this couch

nor leave this house

nor this country

you know what maybe tae better start timing his record on how long he can go without breathing

he can do that for a minute and a half underwater

soon enough jimin finally tucks you in with not much protest

much force from him tho but much more apologies and coos when he apologizes and you do as asked

got to make u brush your teeth and change into a fresh set of pajamas

he has to trick you into “seokjin would be mad at u when he learns that you went to sleep with dirty clothes on”

and him being the good friend that he is

since he also achieved of getting to sink you with a drink

he’s gonna go the extra mile

went so far as to wipe you with a wet towel and dry you off since you didn’t want to shower and he’s afraid ur probably gonna fall asleep not even midway

he even does your skincare routine for you

you kept giggling when he was patting your face so he did it more but now you were in the verge of tearing because in your drunk state you tHOught he was slapping you over and over again with both palms at the same time

and after all that

jimin finally gets around with taehyung on the couch and the younger boy just immediately straightens his posture

...

“...,.,., so you and y/n.,.”

there are literally no words in his mouth

“aha yes me and y/n :D”

and it’s a habit of tae’s to be incoherent whenever he’s flustered

that kinda doesn’t help his case because jimin needs ALL of his brainpower and coherence

“what are your intentions?”

“uhm i uhm aha :D great pilot. no jet lag.”

he’s nodding even there isn’t something to nod at

god he didn’t even drink much but he feels just as floaty and as spent

“calm down, taehyung.”

he SOBERS at that

jimin even pats at his knee to try and ground him

“y-you’re not mad at me??”

“lol i kinda am to be honest”

:(

“but i’m only mad because you treated her from the start as if you didn’t like her!!”

“but hyung you knOw it’s hard and -- wait was it really obvious??”

“there’s a difference between being shy AND being an insensitive ass that leaves the room whenever she enters!!!”

“but-...”

“and i know that people cope with things differently but your mechanism with your little crush on y/n was just kinda off for her, y’know? like this is the time she genuinely gets to know you and not just a five-second introduction by me!! and it’s just kinda a ballsy move because she just got to know you in this level and you’re acting like an ass and she doesn’t know why!!”

“ok but-...”

“and ok the boys and i aren’t mad that you kept from us because it was pretty obvious but i mEAN like you could have just went to us, ya know?? even if some would give poor advice, it’s the thought that counts!!”

“jimin-...”

“oH also what if y/n fell for jungkook instead of you, huh??? he has balls and he doesn’t even like her in that way!!”

this effectively shuts tae up because he hasn’t really considered that possibility

and it’s a dunk at sobering reality that each one of these days he let pass could have been the moment but it was just him hindering himself

because he is a shy boi for you and the crippling fear of rejection just always paralyzes him

aND NOW THAT TONIGHT HAPPENED!!!

with his nose still tingling and his cheeks still flushed because of that kiss

with somehow permission from jimin

with you in the picture now and everything in place

taehyung really can’t help but pout adorably and cry up tears of happiness a bit

jimin hugs him for that with a pat on his back

they both know though that even without any verbal warning that jimin will give taehyung hell if ever he breaks your heart

tae kinda pales at the realization because it may be a conflict of interest

and jimin would be like

lol :) why would you be afraid of me when you have no intention of hurting her :) 

tae SWEARS he could hear jimin in his head and he was about to reply but he realizes that he’s just a little bit worried and much more overwhelmed

needless to say that things really did do change overnight

you were trashed yet thankful that you remembered most of how the night went including that bit in which you were drunkenly topping and cuddling taehyung then pressing a soft little kiss to the tip of his nose

you could still hear your internal monlogue of “boop :D” when you kissed him

you’re woken up by the boys (yoongi included because it turned out you slept in for much longer) since today was a no-film day and they basically get to do anything in this vacation without it being documented and such

it was just a never-ending warm feeling with tae

throughout the whole day he was just grinning at you and maintaining eye contact and at times when you’re not even doing anything

(he’s glued to your side much to the grumpiness of jimin)

it was a slow burn at most

bumping shoulders and squeezing of wrists 

having his hand casually on the small of your back and around your shoulders

taehyung scrunching his nose SO MUCH

hobi is genuinely concerned

“tae do u have a cold??”

yoongi is fucking relentless

“what? what? what did the good boy smell???”

seokjin keeps pursing his lips intentionally after trying to gain tae’s attention and he = would shrug his shoulders excessively

“i saw that u little punk i SAW that”

namjoon would be on tune with how yoongi just won’t stop

“tie that bandana around your neck instead and sTOP sniffling”

jungkook would roll his eyes and scoff playfully whenever taehyung would glance at him

“do i need to kiss y/n so you’d be jealous enough to do so??”

jimin would be the mediator with all the teases but that doesn’t exactly mean he’s on tae’s side either bc the one time taehyung bragged that jimin was protecting him, he got whacked on the side of the head

“lol no this isn’t for u taehyung,, i’m just doing this because y/n’s cheeks are so hot and they’re burning a hole on my shoulder”

as much as your relationship was slowly but surely blossoming with taehyung

it happened for the boys as well!! even with jimin who you didn’t even think was possible to get closer to

bonding with jin was spontaneity and strict adherance to plans combined

“jin do u know milktpapi on twitter”

“bubble would have been a better name for that puppy”

following twitter recipes that are fast-paced and a little vague became a big hit for the both of you

he went on a watching binge one night and the morning after there were just paper bags on the counter of ingredients upon ingredients that he so sweetly asked the staff to get for him

DC CUPCAKES!!!!!!!

he liked that there has to be some type of drama between those two sisters

jin would just be ranting to you with no end

“they were on CONEy island,,, C O N E ,,,, and she made cupcakes in cONES but they still chose the sister who thought hAMBURGERS,,, in C O N E y island,,,, was a good idea!!!”

another inside game was to guess the personification of inanimate things but to food

“what must sadness taste like”

jin and you and the never-ending bickering between the two of you almost always fills in as white noise

yoongi and you are rather a quite dynamic duo

and as hobi explains that you could just really really catch on with his tempo

like at times they would just catch the two of you lying on the same couch but at the opposite ends with your feet meeting in the middle

awake and in complete silence

jungkook has his eyes squinted

“why are you texting each other????”

and it has him genuinely baffled but he’s just answered with a grumble and he CAN’T tell whether it’s from you or yoongi

just like with jin, there’s also a food approach

“that dumpling kinda looks like namjoon”

“i was JUST about to say that”

it wasn’t a showy type of friendship with yoongi; rather a more silent concern type of thing and the occasional hug

love language with him seems to be the both of you having a drum-off because he has a nervous habit of tapping his fingers

and he’s v thankful because oh :) you’ve just distracted me from that thing i was nervous about :)

also likes snoozing off so whenever you can, you squeeze in a pillow when his neck’s in an awkward position and when he wakes up and realizes he’s just like :) gummy smile :)

hobi is a force to be reckoned with

asking “hey r u ok” out of the blue even if you weren’t particularly sure how the other one felt and sometimes one of your heads would just whip and go “you noticed???? :(”

hanging with him whenever he scrolls at his phone and online shops

the only difference is that he buys what he wants

“you’re telling me that we scrolled for like an hour and you’re not buying any of the things you saw????”

and you just pass it off every time because although a pilot’s wage is above average salary, your future and earning isn’t as sECURED and SOLID as his was

that doesn’t stop him peeking at your cart when you aren’t looking and adding it to his and perhaps checking out :) i mean it’s definitely not from him when you see some parcels in your doorstep by the time you get home :) not from him :)

it’s become a constant thing to link your arms together!!!

even if you’re not necessarily walking, it is essential to link arms with you as he argues

one time jimin tried getting in between your linked arms with hobi bc he wanted to join

hobi IMMEDIATELY glares at him and jimin backed off like sheesh ok but u don’t get to do the things i do with y/n either

writing on each other’s forearms is a thing too

sometimes it’s to conversate when you’re not in the mood to talk verbally

sometimes it’s just about talking shit but don’t tell jin he has his coat on backwards he looks laughable

“can u choreograph something for twinkle twinkle little star”

“y/n i-...”

nAMJOON however feels like he should’ve met you earlier like WAY WAY EARLIER

he gets on with you so well and sometimes he just sulks to jimin

“why didn’t you introduce y/n earlier to me god what was life like before y/n”

brain talk is more prevalent than ever because there are thoughts that delve deep into your mind that sometimes only namjoon could get

noah fence but if you were to rant about this to jimin, he would just drone off and grumble and he’d turn to sleeping because he just can’t help it

movie symbolisms????? count that to him and jungkook

after watching parasite for the nth time, you’re sure all three of you had all bases covered but nO it was somehow bottomless

“isn’t it ironic and somehow oxymoronic that...”

he is eternally grateful for you because one night the boys wanted to have a seafood night and u may or may not have had some recipes sent in your airline gc with how your airplane food was made

(surprisingly it didn’t suck)

and you considered him since he hates it and you know what,, he gets something else cooked for him

god namjoon gets why taehyung is smitten with you

also joonie is a bit oblivious to this fact but the other boys notice that you always bring him back a trinket of some sort

you noticed (and jimin might have pointed out one time) that he tended to fiddle with things and do small tasks whenever he was ticked off or stressed out

you keep note that you should gift him one of those fun kiddie entertainment packs when you’re back to regular programming as a pilot

it’s also a constant thing for you to bury your head to his chest

for no reason at all

it’s really comforting to say the least

he could be preparing breakfast and you’re just trudging down the stairs still not fully awake

“hey. i’m making-...”

boop

“oh ok jus hang there if you want but u might get burnt by the pan but it’s ok it’s ur call”

jimin has become even much more of a precious being

gets in your nerves a bit more often than the last time but it’s normal at this point

head rubs that lull you to sleep are the best :((

taehyung sometimes looks to his hands because jimin got you to sleep instantly and he pouts

“how do you do that?? i wanna do that too pls”

jimin’s voice feels like a warm weighted comforter,, that you gotta admit

“your voice is very velvet-y and it’s unfair because i can’t stay mad at you”

“𝓲 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀“

you still make an awed face whenever jimin cracks his bones

you’re in the middle of being fond and being disgusted at the sound so it’s still a 50/50 whether you grimace or gasp at him

“can i pls borrow your hoops”

“you could ask a million times and i would still say no”

playing with his rings whenever you’re sad is a habit you would never grow out of

which is why you were attached to him by the hip,,, or rather hands ,,, when taehyung was in the verge of being an ass to you

jungkook is something ELSE

if you aren’t lingering around jimin or taehyung, you would definitely be around him

taehyung is most jealous with the two of you but no he didn’t say that :)

annoying each other is the no. 1 task 

but lately annoying feels like second nature now so it doesn’t seem like tradition anymore

you would be his audience whenever he’s drawing because you’re genuinely enthrilled with him and his work

“how are you so good at this”

you’re almost always trying to copy what he draws

“what were you attempting with this”

“i was attempting your drawing”

“lmao are you sure with that???”

jungkook likes playing with you by pretending that he’s annoyed

but when he sees that u made his art your lockscreen, he was so awed that he was literally about to BAWL

he pretends not to notice when you push your food to his plate because you either aren’t too keen with the dish or you’re just too full

when jimin calls you out for “y/n why are you putting ur food on jungkook’s plate” and jungkook with “and jungkook why are you accepting it”

kook just shrugs and comes to defend you

“nope i didn’t see anything hyung :D”

if you liked shoving your head to namjoon’s chest, you liked leaning on jungkook’s shoulder

seokjin looks most offended 

“not even half of me y/n not even H A L F of me”

this really warms taehyung’s heart

because not only are you close to him but also with his brothers!!

even if he wants to deck jungkook sometimes

and that he may need to work on his jealousy

but none of those things matter because he’s given the assurance that you’re exclusive

that he may be yours and you may be his 

as cheesy as that sounded

taehyung’s working on a plan to properly ask you out once bon voyage ends and not just steal cheek kisses from time to time

or hold your hand and avoid your gaze because he too will surely combust

or hug you from behind tenderly 

much to the teasing and the hoots of the boys

and jimin’s occasional scowls but that’s ok he’s moving on and slowly starting to accept the fact that he can’t be overbearing this much anymore

bon voyage wraps soon enough

and truth be told you didn’t want it to end because you were in such bliss!!

it was a very memorable trip that you now carry close to your heart

and the fact that they still have a commercial to be filmed with you and some billboards to be shot makes you very :D

since the commercial was to be filmed tomorrow and you lived close to the airport, jimin initiated the idea of “hey what about if we just sleep over at y/n’s place??” which was very applauded

taehyung squeals the loudest when the idea was pitched in

“lol no you don’t get to sleep in the same bed as y/n”

namjoon shoots jimin a look that he was being overbearing again

“or you could just let her decide :)”

it’s only been four days since they last saw you but needless to say that it was borderline chaos when they met you at your apartment that was more on the spacious side

“y/n’s uncle kinda owns the building” jimin explains at first because the building did look more lavish than the average complex

“d-do i get to meet y/n’s uncle??” 

taehyung is a bit nervous because he didn’t know that fact obviously and now he’s meeting the family and he is unprepared jesus christ and-

“no he probably won’t like you”

“jimin sTOP making taehyung nervous because he’s gonna start sniffling again”

the lot of them get to your apartment before you because your flight got delayed and therefore jimin just had to whip out his key you gave him as an extra

he does it fast enough before taehyung takes a deep dive to how he doesn’t have an extra key from you or something like that 

jimin does feel like he’s being a bit hard on tae so he lays off of it for now

taehyung has the ultimate heart eyes for you the moment you come home

“i missed you” in the most adorable and heartwarming tone

and there it was again

a cheek kiss and not just a quick peck!!

a tight hug to your waist and a nuzzle against your hairline!!

MUCH WARMTH AND FUZZINESS

once jimin finally got to pry taehyung off of you because he claims that he’s hogging you all to himself, you’re met with very eager hugs and greetings

seokjin and basically everyone else are still in awe seeing you in your uniform so he squeezes in a quick pic in his phone 

you sent him a look and when you peered in, the picture turned out really cool with the nice lighting your apartment had

AND he’s really pushing it that it was good because of the app he downloaded that made pictures have a vintage film cam aesthetic to it

so you yielded and just told him to send the picture to you later 

aha ego boost :D

they insisted on cooking dinner since you did look a bit exhausted from your round of flights even if it was routine at this point (the highlight was when some people recognized you from the pics that went viral and asked to take a pic with you when you were greeting them out!!)

“are you really sure you’re gonna cook dinner, tae? i could always order-...”

“you don’t need to!! i wanna cook for you anyway!!”

that was heartwarming more than usual

jungkook clears his throat

“....,., and us”

“aha yes of course i meant for you and the boys as well :D”

you go to change clothes more than enthusiastically now

because things just seemed to be good with no complications at all

the idea of domesticity with taehyung makes you iMPLODE just by thinking about it

the thought was too soft and too fuzzy that you’ve become energized

maybe reading a couple of emails before taking a shower and cleaning up and getting yourself to look a bit more presentable isn’t a bad thing

it isn’t anything but sheer giddiness when you check your inbox and see an edited version of a run bts ep from a staff member you befriended during bon voyage!!!

you kinda get now what jimin was saying that you had the ability to have people wrapped around your finger

maybe it’s charisma you picked up from wanting to please people just so you could have extra credit???

anyways

it’s a run bts ep you get one of the first dibs on to watch so that’s always a reward

basically the context for it was that it was a hot tub confessions type of thing!! the twist was that they had to speak their heart out (their dislike is very much encouraged) over a certain someone bUT they had to rely on their ~telepathy because names wouldn’t drop

and it was a random selection to who would start the confession first and the others had to go with the flow and basically hope that they’re talking smack about the same person lol

only the name blank would be used and it for the pronoun!!

you were already making assumptions to who it would be about

it could be about jungkook because throughout the whole trip, he would literally gasp out of the blue and take the others in shock like seagulls going WHAT WHAT WHAT IS IT WHAT WHAT

or maybe jimin because he’s a lil shit and would pull chairs and that hobi fell victim and was so annoyed because he fell on his ass so hard 

last prospect was seokjin simply because,, as jungkook emphasized throughout this whole trip,, “ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ ᶦˢ ˢᵒ ᵒˡᵈ ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ” just because he complained about his lower back one time

speaking of jin, he gets chosen to open the game!!

and he buffers for a moment that gets another tease from jungkook 

“ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ'ˢ ᵐᵉᵐᵒʳʸ ᶦˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ʰᶦᵐ ʰᶦˢ ᵐᶦˡᵏ“

“blank bought me an actual film camera!! bit more complicated than taehyung’s!! keeps telling me every five seconds about my settings and i!! i KNOW HOW TO WORK IT THANK U VERY MUCH!!”

although jin is a bit guilty about that because he admits that he has a more-than-sure feeling that most of his pics may or may not be either over-exposed or too dark

this reminds you of that time you bought a film camera for jin on a whim because it was on sale and you were talking about it the night before

lol what a coincidence

hobi takes second call

he is only about a quarter-percent sure to who jin was pertaining to so he trails around for a bit

“blank is like a broken kitchen timer”

he plays it safe with that one 

although there is some sort of edge with his bluntness because everyone might be a little drunk hehe 

“blank looks at things as if it was born yesterday!! literally goes :O”

even goes so far to imitate said expression and it makes everyone gIGGLE

yoongi snorts with that and now he’s a bit more feisty since he’s tipsy

“it joins me in my silence”

wait

“texts me even if i’m in the same room like wtf i can see you”

wait

hold on

“likes hUGGING ME TOO MUCH”

you really didn’t like making things about you because other people doing that makes you tick

but there’s this unsteady feeling in your gut

something that makes you think deep in thought and in doubt

jimin was next to speak so that calms your nerves

he would never, right??

maybe you’re just taking things to heart!! the boys really aren’t talking smack about you, right??

your breath is just held because jimin was surely taking his time in making a show with inhaling so deeply so he could yell a bit more dramatically

“DOES IT NOT HAVE ITS OWN CLOTHES????”

oh

your eyes flicker for a moment to the sweater that’s by your dresser

something of jimin’s that you forgot to return

oh.

“needier and whinier than jungkook”

it was the youngest’s turn to cackle

and at this point you’re only half-listening

you’re a bit too preoccupied with the hurt blooming in your chest

“i!! am!! not!! a!! baby!!”

jungkook’s meltdown makes everyone else laugh because right now he had his fists clenched and his face looking like a baby’s

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

there was just a little bit more hope lingering that this may no be about you at all

but god it was getting too specific 

too specific when it came to namjoon who was a bit more eloquent in speaking and wanting to get his point across

“.... trying to memorize my rap in UGH! .....”

fuck this really is about you

and it’s not just sadness that’s overtaking you

makes you more than deflated than you thought you could ever be

“at this point i sometimes avoid her”

and god there’s this more than familiar laugh that fills your ears through and through

“lol namjoon where do you hide?? i hide in the pantry”

taehyung even?

at this point you can’t even bear watching the video anymore

willing your laptop closed so forcefully that it bOUNCED back open but you can’t even begin to worry that you might have put a crack on the screen

shoving it to your desk with the screen facing anywehere instead of you being the best option

the hurt is painfully fresh and oddly felt so surreal

god were you really that intolerable?

you didn’t know how to cope with what you’ve just heard nor experienced

but the only thing you were sure about is that your situation has just been too good

perhaps this was the complication you were looking for because you weren’t used to things being so good

and you know for sure that this feeling isn’t good at all

and you hated it

at this point you’re just trying to go about your previous plans of showering and cleaning up but the eagerness isn’t there anymore

nor is the eagerness to see the boys

nor is the eagerness to see taehyung

didn’t even notice that you were taking up much time that jimin was at your door knocking, voice gentle and inquiring

“y/n did you fall asleep??”

you’re very much tempted to not go out at all because you lost your appetite for eating too

very much so that you make no move at all and actually think that jimin’s given up on knocking at your locked door

but then your phone rings and he knows for sure that you haven’t gone to sleep because it would’ve been put on silent

“are you hiding???”

you pretty much are and you don’t wanna go out at all

but you basically had no choice to

it was a pressure to wipe at stray tears and say “i’m coming” in an unwavering voice and even more-so pretend that nothing’s wrong at all

or the fact that everyone’s eyes are on you and jimin’s prodding makes everyone else wonder

“are you crying??”

the question doesn’t faze you but it does take you by surprise now that you aren’t comfortable with the situation nor the new attention

taehyung’s getting worried because now he notices the redness in your eyes and the bit of puffiness in your lips

“just sleepy. my eyes tear up when i’m sleepy, right?” you’re using jimin’s knowledge about you against him and he agrees to that almost instantly

can’t help thinking that something was fishy though

you weren’t telling him off when he was bickering to taehyung that he shouldn’t sit next to you for dinner

didn’t react either when tae let off a little victory giggle and grinned when he sat next to you not one bit of acknowledgement when a replay of cake boss was on your tv with jin’s eyes flickering over to you repeatedly but he doesn’t receive an excited glance back

even yoongi found you oddly too quiet and he was tempted to pull out his phone to text you

it’s weirdly off

there’s something missing

namjoon was starting to get worried because you aren’t really engaged in this conversation with a topic he’s direly interested about

“and something done to that degree would just be far too suspicious, right?”

“mhmm yeah”

:(

even jungkook who’s kinda throwing himself at you and you’re just barely responding

he’s wriggling himself to fit by your side and just curl up and when he looks at you expectantly to do something, he just gets a pat on the head

a pat??????

hobi’s being over the top with his reactions right now to try and gauge a reaction from you but to no avail at all

normally he would’ve made you laugh or atleast smile at this point

but there’s nothing

just nothing

taehyung gets you alone on the couch because everyone else was just dispersed at this point and are bumping into each other asking if they knew what happened to you

jimin himself is pressured because he prides himself in being your closest friend aND HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU

tae is a lil bit more confident that he could coax out to why you were acting so differently

even gets far as to hold your hand and nuzzle his face to the crook of your neck

“everything okay, baby?”

god and he’s only called you baby only for a handful of times

“yeah”

that didn’t hurt taehyung’s ego

not at all

or make him overthink to why you’re not all that willing to open up to him nor even look interested in this conversation he’s carrying alone on his back

no not at all

not even when jimin has the most balls out of the group and is the testing point to see how the waters would go

while the night’s coming to an end and everyone’s slowly starting to settle in

“aha so where are we gonna crash anyway?”

you know what he’s trying to get at 

but seeing to it that what you just watched prior to this and perhaps for even a longer period besides that particular episode you don’t even wanna watch

you might as well not give anyone the sense of satisfaction nor pride; even if the question took you by surprise with how bluntly he addressed it

“uhm well the guest room now has two beds since some friends come over from time to time”

“but-”

“yeah the huge couch could fold over as a bed”

“but-”

“i could also-...”

“but y/n you have a king-sized bed!!”

jimin blurts out and almost whines out, a frown evident on his face as you keep your will not to break

“oh. just wanna sleep alone, jimin, yeah? kinda tired because of work today.”

he almost always gets what he wants and this blooming feeling inside him isn’t because of the embarrassment that you didn’t grant his wishes of just plopping beside you on your bed 

it’s because he’s thinking of why not

taehyung tries his best to just swallow the lump in his throat because he may or may not have daydreamed that he’d get to share beds with you

nothing but cuddling in his mind and the tiny bit of friskiness but that’s beside the point

he doesn’t wanna think about how there are no goodnight hugs

the closest thing to it was jungkook receiving a pat on the shoulder

because it happened that his arms were outsretched awkwardly

no cheek kiss for taehyung either

yeah it’s perhaps just fatigue as hobi tried to reason

they don’t know if they’re convincing each other or just themselves

maybe tomorrow would be better :D

...

aha no 

in fact at this point of morning when everyone knows that you’d be awake and it happens to be your off-day before the shoot tomorrow

and that whenever they’re around, you’d rather linger around them than to stay cooped in your room because you would be too sluggish then go back to sleep again

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

yeah you’d rather keep your pride at this point

jimin knocks again and you know you have no choice if you wanted this to go as discreet and as smooth as possible without raising suspicions that you knew

jin panicked for a moment because he was making french toast that he saw from damn milktpapi to try and catch your attention so when he hEARD your door click he was rapping litanies faster than the rapline ever could

they unconsciously just gravitate towards the couch and are practically hovering around you

you’re awfully quiet and the only input you give is when you’re asked a direct question

the only noise was coming from them reminiscing about their bv trip 

namjoon keeps bringing you up with “yahhh do u remember when y/n-....”

yoongi makes a point to keep laughing and have his arms protruding and therefore nudging you each time

at one point he almost shoves you but he’s barely met with a reaction

goddamn does he need to throw you off a cliff or something just to get a rise out of you

they really think that there must be something wrong 

so right when they wanted to open it up, they literally get interrupted but this time with a doorbell

you practically leap at that opportunity because quite literally were you saved by the bell

you don’t know who’s ringing your bell and why but you’re willing to take it 

jimin knows that you aren’t expecting anyone besides them as he’s made you promise

he might as well square up right now and be huffy about it

you’re bordering on confusion and curiosity as you open the door and even more-so your audience behind you who may or may not be in the same state

“theo??”

yoongi’s ears immediately perk up at that while his eyes go the widest

he’s toppling over as he scrambles for a vantage point that would get to see theo but without neither you nor theo seeing him

oh my god is this really your prfoessional basketball player for an ex-boyfriend

the boys are panicked to how yoongi’s acting and they even help him adjust his position even if they don’t know what it’s for

“wHAT YOONGI WHAT WHAT WHAT”

“BE QUIET”

he’s racking his brain for the description you gave and the picture you showed him

tall? intimidatingly. shoulders? perhaps even broader than seokjin’s. muscles? even more defined than jungkook when he lived in the gym. fluffy and silky-looking hair? enviously so :((

oh god it is theo

is he supposed to fanboy now

wait 

what was your ex doing here anyway

“i’m just gonna be out for a second, yeah?”

you say aimlessly and yoongi catches your gaze and he pretends to eat french toast while he’s stretched out on the floor to not break his cover

no one even has a chance to question nor respond because you’re already shutting the door

“WHO WAS THAT”

“WHY IS HE HERE”

“i sWEAR i saw him on tv once”

“taehyung are you ok”

yoongi’s bombarded and even if he’s shocked at the the turn of events because one second ur eating french toast with them and the next you’re out the door; he does have a bit more of an idea

“oh that was theo”

...

“are we supposed to automatically know who tHEO is???”

“you gonna add more context to that or????”

“even jimin doesn’t know!!!”

“theo’s a basketball player”

there are a couple of awed reactions

even namjoon’s explosive “aHHHHH so that’s where he’s from”

but there’s this question that’s begging to be asked

jimin taking front line as he asks with so much spite

“why is theo here then??”

this baffles yoongi too

most times he just doesn’t sugarcoat things and his mouth speaks the truth before he could even think of something else

“aish i don’t know i just know that she’s y/n’s ex so stop asking me if-...”

jimin’s in the corner with his mouth dropped, tongue poking at his cheek

“oh uhm i didn’t know that”

taehyung is sat on the floor with his attention not on the french toast anymore

eyes distant and not blinking as he’s nodding

“i see”

both jimin and taehyung clearly need time to process this bit of information

the conversation ends at that and everyone else staggers around

jimin’s in thought because why didn’t he know that??

shouldn’t he know that?

and what’s it with yoongi knowing instead of him?

taehyung, on the other hand, is conflicted with what he should feel

he’s jealous that’s for sure

the both of you covered masses of topics during the outing

but it never came to the topic of past flames

were you meaning not to tell him? or theo wasn’t talked about because the topic never came????

is this insecurity that he’s feeling

jungkook has to hold taehyung’s head still because he’s still nodding while deep in thought

you really weren’t expecting theo to show up at your doorstep

it’s in good intentions and you remained as friends but he was just too unexpected

“didn’t you know?? i’m gonna be one of those extras tomorrow for your airline commercial and it’s just a lil cameo but still!!! i don’t know i just wanted to visit you since i was in the area too :D”

and that’s what ended up with you coming with him to the little cafe at your complex with the promise that it was just gonna be quick and you’ll show him out

and perhaps that you don’t wanna be in the same room as them either

avoiding is good

yeah it would be good

:)

jimin doesn’t know what he’s trying to prove either but there’s this tug on his chest that basically yelled at him that he was a shitty friend

hasn’t been an hour ever since you left but he’s kinda sitting there fazed, whatever the other was saying coming in his ear and going out the other

“i lost my charger :(((”

jimin’s mindlessly answering to a pouty namjoon

“y/n has the same laptop. you could just get the charger by her desk”

he says naturally as if it’s clockwork and only waves him off when namjoon asks if it would be okay with you

he smiles at that and practically bounces to your unlocked room

quickly finds your desk and looks for a familiar charger

oh uhm it’s still connected to your laptop

jimin already said it was no worries so namjoon sleekly takes it out of the port with little hesitation

why did your laptop turn on

wait

is that his face??

is that

is that them in a hot tub

jimin’s wondering why namjoon is taking so long

he himself hasn’t been in your room for a long time and the thought makes him spring up

“hyung??”

fuck

oh god

it feels like freezing cold water was just splashed onto their spines without warning

jimin immediately pales

it’s taehyung who piles in last to your bedroom with all the commotion he could hear

he wants to absolutely deck himself 

everyone’s just speechless when they clicked play on the video even when they had this underlying feel to what it was

there’s a collective intake of sharp inhales because they couldn’t even finish the episode in which they basically talk shit about you for a solid three minutes

jimin has his face on his hands and he’s visibly stressed as everyone else is

couldn’t even tell on which blow was the hardest because they were all so harsh in their own ways

basically hit where it hurts most 

they were drunk beyond their comprehension and weren’t necessarily thinking

the episode was filmed pretty much in the first day of bv 

and whatever circumstance that night was in, it was still no excuse

absolutely no excuse to how they acted

maybe they took joking and overexaggerating too far

but whatever route they took, be it honest or not, no doubt that they were sure it hurt you

god a mental breakdown is already creeping at the back for all seven of them

tAEHYUNG’S SOBBING

jimin’s shaking

jungkook’s rubbing his eyes

jin and namjoon are repeating themselves

hobi’s dead silent

yoongi’s hands are practically trembling

it’s when you go home that you’ve momentarily forgotten that everything was going downwards because you spent the last hour or two being distracted by theo in just your pajamas

but it’s when you know that they know

and some can’t even look you in the eye

jimin’s the first to shoot up from his seat and god he looks somehow wrecked

“y/n i-...”

“m’sorry for being introlerable and all of those things, yeah? won’t happen again.”

everyone tenses at that

you shouldn’t even be apologetic!!

in fact they’re the ones who fucked up and you’re the one who’s acting as if you did

this makes them even more guilty

they all pipe in and try to point that out but you just easily drown them out with a tilt of your head

taehyung who’s standing by your doorframe just buffers as if to reach out for you but he retracts it quickly

they’ve really done it this time huh

it’s all just in characteristically empty spirits

the shooting next day was painful

having to drive together and be squished in between yoongi and jungkook whose mouths were so dry and eyes glossy

“i didn’t mean it”

jungkook first says under his breath and it’s quite a hitch in his throat when he adds on to it

“we weren’t thinking at all”

it’s a quiet show as jungkook and yoongi try to apologize to you and you’re in the middle trying to just sit through it all

it’s a quick nod as you have for a response before you hurriedly go down the van in perfect timing

you did listen and the apologies were sincere and heartfelt

just not too keen on forgiving something of that gravity in an instant

even with their promise that they could work something out to have that bit cut out or even scrap the whole episode if necessary

you just couldn’t wait to get the day over

you’re rigid with them and them trying to get to talk to you in between takes

the skits required more of them than you anyway so you just sat that one out

all while they try to get genuine with the feelings and lines indicated in their script

taehyung was the most distracted

even if people expected more of him given his acting credentials

and when it’s your turn to be filmed at, he can’t help staring

you looked blank

there’s this certain hyunbin (and also to your surprise) that’s gonna act as your co-pilot that got to make you smile a time or two after making a fool out of himself

if only taehyung knew that theo’s gonna be here as an extra

he would flip and THEN bawl

and as if things wouldn’t get even more unfavorable for you, they decide to cram in the photoshoot for the billboard at this very day too

multiple shoots of you being in the middle of them with a commercial-like smile

you having a solo one

them having one too

the boys wearing your airline’s flight attendant uniforms

trying to have a candid shot but all of you should be laughing and smiling as per the director

that was painful

that was really painful for the staff to watch

most painful for the eight of you

they even had to count to three so you could laugh together even if that takes away the essence of a candid shot

jimin wants so badly to hold you and talk to you

taehyung wants to get on his knees desperately if it means earning your forgiveness

the shoot raps and you’re zooming out the set

tae breaks down yet again because they’re gonna be held up by your ceo for awhile

:(

things feel empty and slow

everyone got around to texting you their apologies because as much as they’re desperate to apologize, they’ve done enough damage and respecting your space is the least they could do

that doesn’t stop jimin dropping in from time to time to leave something by your door

nor taehyung who doesn’t give up with all his texting and calling and sometimes waiting on your door

jimin and him coincidentially went at the same time and they just teared up and sulked together

you weren’t even home at that time

of course you’ve read their messages

trying to talk it out too as you’ve refused to succumb into your passive-aggressiveness

admittedly

you don’t wanna lose what you have either

:(

it’s only been two weeks so far

progress as you reply to texts here and there

slowly warming up again!!

namjoon earning back his partner for talking about movie symbolisms and perhaps everything wrong in this barren earth

seokjin getting to send you incorrect quotes from cake boss again left and right

hobi gaining his online shopping partner back 

yoongi making you promise that you’d hug him when he gets to see you again

jungkook vowing to teach you how to draw and makes sure to send daily content so he could make you switch wallpapers

jimin

well jimin

jimin’s going over the top as he has a lot to mend

but forgiveness was clear in the path and when you finally agreed to meet up with him after your shift

(he’s made the effort to wait for you in your lounge hours before as he got to pull some strings)

and then when you have a drink over it and talk about what happened properly, it just ends in a massive hug and some tears shed :((

“i missed u so much”

“i know”

“i could really be a fucking asshole sometimes”

“you are”

“you are none of those things and i don’t ever wanna stop having you as my friend”

“aha yes”

“you love me too much and i love you too much and this is forever now ok pls don’t get mad at me ever again”

basically everything was slowly returning back to normal

taehyung hasn’t texted you for a couple of days

even if you barely responded and miss him as much

it’s something you still have to come to terms with because his blows hit the hardest

you’re losing sleep just by thinking about him :(

you try to get on with your days with the knowledge that you get on with the six of them

things becoming more hectic for you because sometimes you forget that you’re famous now

but sometimes it was just lackluster if you were to admit

you basically sprint at the chance to pick up a normal shift again because you’ve missed flying

you liked being pampered for shoots but being tired from flying is the ache you’ve been craving for :((

it’s when you’re briefed that the plane you’d be flying isn’t your usual aircraft yet you still have the clearance for it

it’s when you just had the kick to be extra punctual and jump at the chance to greet passengers boarding

it’s these little extras in your day that you were so eager for things

that things just seem to be aligning

:)

taehyung’s by the front-most seat

hyunbin by his side as he gets up and goes to the cockpit to do nothing but take your place

it’s oddly warm just by looking at taehyung

no apologies have been said yet and it’s when that hyunbin practically says over the mic that “y/n take a seat and put your seatbelt on jesus christ” you do beside tae

the atmosphere’s just a loving type of warm

you really can’t explain it

it’s the same type of slow burn the both of you felt in the outing

the same anticipation you had for each other even if the other was doing the bare minimum

“hi”

taehyung croaks out after an eternity, a grin he tries to earnestly keep as it breaks out

“let’s talk.”

he’s nervous as he sees you relax to your seat, knowing in routine that the plane was to take off 

taehyung ever-so slightly shifts in his seat, shoulders touching with yours and hand in an armrest as he flexes them so slightly -- only supposed to be an attempt at a loving tease but it’s when you shift towards him and have your hand skim his for the slightest fraction

:)

“let’s talk.”

[kweebtrash]

FMN (M)

Pairing(s): Kino, Hongseok, E’Dawn, Hui x Reader. This one is Hui focused

Genre: SMUT AF, College AU, little fluffy

Summary: Sexual Liberation Pt 10. First person POV, heavy characterization of reader. just a bunch of smutty goodness in college.

Warnings: there’s a lot of sex over the course of the series. In this chapter, Hui’s voice literally being the bane of my existence, deep feelings, anal (of course), creampies, being pinning down to the bed, teasing, silk ties gripping the sheets

Word Count: 6k+

A/N: I flipflop between stage names and real names. Sometimes the formatting can be weird between mobile and desktop:/ Italics mean memories/past events and thoughts. I missed Hui a lot but I have no idea why this chapter was so hard to write. honestly just tell me it sucks im so sorry

Sexual Liberation Masterlist

Ficspiration:

“FMN” Jr Castro Ft Timbaland

“Swim Good.” Hui ft. Somin

A lump appeared in my throat when I saw him. He was leaning against the door, arms crossed across his chest and brows furrowed into an angry scowl. He was dressed as the Crow, his hair returning to it’s darker blue black color, face painted in black and white. A long black trench coat dusted across his combat boots and tight leather pants encased his thighs. He was still gorgeous even though he looked like he could kill me in an instant. I knew that this situation was grave. I hadn’t expected to sleep with Hongseok and I definitely never expected anyone to find out about it-at least not this way. Now I was forced to face Kino and remember the amazing night we had just a week ago. My body tensed as he spoke first.

“You missed a spot.” He growled and pointed to my neck. My eyes widened and I quickly realized he meant that I hadn’t completely gotten rid of the evidence of Hongseok’s orgasm. I wiped it away quickly and fumbled with my fingers.

“Um...hey.” It was all I could think to say at the time. I didn’t meet his eyes and instead looked over at the dresser.

“You fucked Hongseok.” He stated, flatly.

I swallowed hard and shifted my gaze back down to my feet. He was making me feel ashamed. Like I somehow should’ve never gone near Hongseok. He sounded so mad...Were his feelings hurt?  I didn’t want to do that to him, especially after I realized that I felt something deeper for him. But also we weren’t tied down together just yet. He wasn’t my boyfriend and we still had an agreement that we could be with anyone. Why was he so angry about Hongseok? “I can fuck whoever I want. I mean I fuck Hui and Hyojong so what does it matter about Hongseok?”

“Because Hui-hyung and Hyojong- hyung are just fucks. Hongseok is different.”

“Different how exactly? We’ve only had sex once and that’s all.”

“You know exactly how. I can see it in your eyes.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about but I don’t like your attitude.” I grabbed my heels and rolled my eyes. “You haven’t even spoken to me since the day we all hung out in the rec room. Not one text or snap or video call. Nothing. Now you’re barging in here being pissed that I slept with Hongseok? Please.” I went towards the door trying to leave but Kino pushed me against it, his hands teasing pressure against my neck.

“Answer me this, do you want him?”

I couldn’t help the way my body reacted to his hands on me. I was still sensitive to everything that Hongseok had done to me just a bit ago. I felt my skin heat up instantly but I willed myself to concentrate, my anger overcoming the hurdle of my passionate emotions. “Is that really what you want to know? So you can win your jealousy ridden pissing contest?!”

“I’m not jealous!” He yelled. “Just tell me if you want to be with him or not!”

I grabbed his hair and yanked back hard, pushing him away from me. He bit his lip as an angry groan left him. “I don’t have to tell you shit! We have an agreement. No strings attached. And now you’re upset because I had sex with someone else? What kind of sense does that make?”

He scoffed and completely dodged my question. “Fine! You know what, if you want to fuck him, that’s fine. Go ahead and fuck him. It doesn’t matter to me. You can be with him for all I care too because i’m done with you.”

My eyes widened at his sudden exclamation. “D-done? You mean…” I looked away from him blinking back tears. I definitely didn’t want him to see me cry over this and i definitely didn’t want him to see through the facade I created about not caring about his feelings. I cared about him, way too much in fact, but he didn’t seem like he really wanted to be with me which is why this whole thing was so strange. Sure we had some intimate moments but we went on and continued as if nothing had happened. That was until he started slamming doors and acting jealous for no reason.

He shifted his weight and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Y-yeah...We’re done.” His voice seemed a little quieter now.

I swallowed back my feelings and filled myself with fake pride. “Fine! I have other people to be with. You’re nothing special to me.” The words felt like they burned my tongue as soon as I said them. The look on his face showed something akin to heartache before shifting into his usual scowl. Maybe he was trying to keep up a facade too but right now I couldn’t even stand to be around him. I pushed my hair back and grabbed the door handle, taking a deep breath before running out of the room and the apartment. I didn’t stop until I reached my car, pulling myself into it and slamming the door behind me. God I fucking hated him. What difference did it make that I hooked up with Hongseok? At least Hongseok cared about how I felt during and after sex. He was just being so aggressively stupid I wanted to scream. And on top of all that it hurt...it hurt so fucking bad that he didn’t want anything to do with me.

I pressed my forehead to my steering wheel and let the hot tears run down my face, streaking through my makeup. My body was shuddering from the intensity of my tears, my whole chest feeling constricted into a knot. Suddenly, I heard a knock on my window which made me jump up. I looked up and saw Hui standing outside my car. He beckoned for me to open the door and I did, not saying a word. He seemed to except my solemn silence and instead opened his arms for me. I got up quickly and threw myself into his chest heaving the entirety of my feelings onto him. My breath hiccuped and stalled every once in awhile and he rubbed my back slowly, patiently waiting for me to calm down. I was shivering against him since I was still in my makeshift “costume”. He pulled away from me gently and kissed my forehead. “Come on. Let me take you home.” I nodded quickly and let Hui guide me over to the passenger’s seat. I gave him my keys before getting into the seat and curling up immediately. Just being in my car now had my skin crawling as I remembered the night I spent with Kino. Hui closed my door and got into the driver’s seat. I hoped that he wouldn’t go the speed limit so I could get out of the car quicker. The ride was silent, almost painfully so but it went faster than I expected. He parked in my usual lot and we got to his dorm in no time flat. As soon as i was in his room i took off every piece of clothing I had on. I collapsed onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow and forcing myself not to cry anymore.

Hui joined me a few moments later, his clothes discarded by mine. His arm pulled me closer to him until we were laying on our sides face to face. My heart sunk even more. The sight of Hui taking caring me was one I knew all too well. It created a pit in the recesses of my stomach. A question surfaced on my tongue spilling out before I knew it. “Why do you always take care of me?”

He chuckled lightheartedly. “Why do I always take care of you? Is that even a question? Because I care about you.” He set his hand on top of mine and I held it.

“Yeah but...you’re so patient and loving. Why the hell do you even put up with me?”

“Well you’re definitely a pain in the ass but the pussy’s good so..”

“Hui!”

“I’m joking! I’m joking!” He laughed again. “Well partially. You know I love your ass more.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled the covers up over us. “I’m well aware, Hwitaek.”

“Ouch, don’t full name me. You only do that when I’m in trouble. I’m not in trouble, am I?”

I shook my head. “The opposite. I don’t know if it’s because i’m pretty vulnerable right now or because i’m a glutton for punishment, but you’re making my heart do some strange things.”

“You always make my heart do strange things.” He leaned in closer to me, pausing momentarily above my lips. He wasn’t trying to take advantage of what I had been through. Instead, he wanted me to let him know it was all okay. And I did. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly, a mixture of sadness and comfort. His hands rubbed my hips gently, occasionally sliding up to the small of my back. My stomach was against his now and his kisses left my lips to trail across my shoulder and collarbone. He fell into a soft rhythm of tender kisses, decorating my body with heated trails. I sighed softly, sliding my fingers through his hair and petting him gently. He leaned into my touches like a kitten, wanting more. I smiled and brought his head to my chest giving his scalp light scratches. Hui sighed and laid comfortably against me, the room quieting to the stillness of our breathing. How could I have ignored him? How could I have been so wrapped up in everyone else that I had forgotten about him? Yet here he was with me, in my arms, with probably just as many thoughts that I was having but never questioning me. I wondered if he was okay with letting me sort out my feelings amidst everything that was going on. My hand trailed down his back, tracing his spine as he fell into the early stages of sleep. I laid awake for most of the night wondering what the hell I was going to do with myself.

_________________________

When i woke up Hui was gone. His keycard was left beside me and a text on my phone told me he had a shift at the cafe in the student center. He’d be gone for hours and wouldn’t be home until late. That was fine by me. I was already scheming up a plan to treat him. He deserved as much as I could give him and more. It took me about twenty minutes to will myself out of bed but I got there eventually. My hips were still sore, my heart still heavy, but i was determined to at least try and make today better than the last. I would put everything that happened with Kino out of my mind and focus on Hui. I went to his closet and stole another one of his hoodies (I’m sure he’d be looking for them soon. I had about 3 in my closet right now) and found some sweatpants he had in his hamper. Whatever. I just needed to walk to my dorm in normal clothes instead of the lingerie from my costume. I put the keycard in my pocket and gathered up my costume before peeking my head out. The tv was on in the living room and i mentally cursed. I didn’t really want to run into Hongseok or Kino right now. Quietly I tiptoed out of Hui’s room and crept towards the front door. I could see feet hanging off of the armrest of the sofa but no sign of who it was. My hand rested on the handle of the front door and i twisted it as slowly as possible, keeping my eye on the couch. Suddenly I heard my name from down the hall. Hongseok was staring right at me and Kino sat up quickly from the couch. I looked at Hongseok, then at Kino, then Hongseok, then at Kino who both stared back at me. I swung open the front door and fucking booked it. Shit, shit shit! Gotta go fast!

It wouldn’t be a day in my life if I didn’t run away from my problems. One day I would face those problems head on, but not today, Satan, not today. I managed to get to my dorm in record time. My roommate wasn’t there. It was still early enough for her to be at church singing the god’s good gospel while I went to the back of my closet and got out my box of sex toys. I dug through the stuff Hyojong brought me, pushing them aside until I found all my anal accoutrements. I sighed deeply. The things I did for Hui.

_____________________

It was around 10 pm when I texted Hui to see if he had come home from work yet and if i could come over. He responded fairly quickly and I was off to meet him at the dorm, my overnight bag in tow. I still had his keycard from earlier and I prayed that I didn’t have the same problem of running into Hongseok and Kino again. I really hated that they all freakin’ lived together. As if me fucking them all wasn’t enough. I unlocked the door and looked around. The coast seemed to be clear and I could hear Hui recording in his room. I bit my lip as I heard the slow, sensual tempo coupled with his signature falsetto that always made me weak. I loved listening to him sing. His voice did so many things to my mind, body, and soul. Those high notes always had me weak in the knees. I stood by his door for a moment, ears pressed against the wood as his voice crashed over me like a wave, every note caressing my skin and filling it with a passionate heat.

I dont know…

Make you mine...

My heart was beating faster, my thighs losing all of their ability to keep me grounded. I raised my hand to rasp softly on the door but froze as I heard when I heard that line again.

I’ll just make you mine…

I bit my lip and swallowed hard, finally knocking on the door. The music stopped and Hui opened the door, smiling at me. “Hey,” He kissed my forehead. “Why'd you want to come over?”

“Oh, i need a reason to come over now? I cant just hang out with you?” I teased him as i slipped inside and sat my bag on the floor.

“You know that's not what i meant, babe.”

“Oohh i'm babe today.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. He smiled down at me briefly until he saw what i had on.

“Did you steal another hoodie from me….”

I stood quiet for a moment. “Noooooo….”

“UGHHH you always take them! Give it back! I don't even have any left in my closet!”

“i just had to wear something to get to my dorm! But if you want it back so bad, fine.” I pulled his hoodie over my head and handed it over to him. His head cocked to the side and he stared at my bare chest, presumably entranced at the fact that i wasn’t wearing anything underneath the sweater. “Hui….” I snapped my fingers at him and his eyes trailed back to mine.

“Hmm?”

“Don't act like such a 12 year old boy. You've seen my tits before. They're there. Being boobs.”

“I still like them! And i still like seeing them! But youre not getting this back.” He went to his closet and set his hoodie on a hanger while i peaked over at his computer.

“I heard some of this outside the door. It sounded amazing.” I looked back at him. “Will you sing some for me?”

“Sure….Do you wanna stay like that?” He motioned at my naked torso.

“Do you want me to stay like this?”

“i'm just saying. It's cold so...you know...but i mean if you want you can just stay like that...being...there….being hot.”

“Why, Lee Hwitaek! If i didn't know better i'd say you were flirting with me!” I said in my best fake southern belle voice.

He laughed as he sat down in his desk chair. “You're an idiot.”

“Yes, but i'm your idiot. Now sing for me.”

“Okay, okay!” He hit play on his computer and got closer to the microphone. He closed his eyes and surrounded me with his sultry voice again. I stayed behind him watching his every move as he poured himself into the song like he always did. It was one of the most sexiest things he could do. My fingers drummed softly across his shoulders, rubbing them for a moment before sliding down his chest. He shifted in his seat, clearing his throat for a second before resuming his singing. I smirked just a bit from watching him get heated under my touch. I continued distracting him with caresses across his chest, trailing up to his neck. His head tilted back slowly and i slipped the silk tie i had nestled in my pocket over his eyes, tying it behind his head.

“So that's why you wanted to come over.” he smirked.

“You know i can leave right now, Hui.”

“Noooo,” He whined softly. “Stay. We haven't had any time to just ourselves in awhile.”

“I know baby.” i kissed him gently. “And i'm sorry about that. I felt so bad so I planned this all to treat you.”

His cheeks were burning pink. “R-really?

I moved to the front of the seat, dipping between his knees. Of course he couldn't see any of this but that was the point. I wanted to thrill him and make every single move a surprise, filling him with anticipation. I pushed his knees apart gently and he reached forward to pet my hair. I grabbed his wrist and forced his hand to the chair. “Hwitaek, behave for me.”

He licked those gorgeous full lips of his, teasing his bottom lip between his teeth. Sonuvabitch. Every single time any one of my boys did that i was instantly begging for them to fuck me. I hated it. But Hui wasnt doing it intentionally(this time). I could tell he was already easing into the feeling of me touching him, wondering what I was going to do to him next. My hands trailed up his thighs that were still trapped in his work pants. The faint scent of coffee and whipped cream still lingered on him making him smell so sweet. My fingers went to work on unbuttoning his pants, trailing the zipper down in an anguishing tease. Hui was already pushing his hips forward encouraging me to take him on. Of course i ignored him and instead focused my attention on kissing around his abs, my tongue following the path of his happy trail before veering to his hip bone. His hip bone was one of his favorite places that I left marks on. The feel of his clothes pressing against the sensitive area after i had marked my territory had him leaving class early and begging to come find me all last semester.

The first kiss i landed made his hips twitch and his fingers gripped the sides of the chair tighter. I could almost hear his heartbeat thundering in his ears. I kissed the spot again while my hand worked the center of his jeans, rubbing in time with each lick and kiss. He was hardening with each pass of my fingers, increasing the length they had to travel each time. I looked up and i could see his head tossed back and he was trying so hard not to moan out loud. His moans were always enough to make Kino or Hyojong bang against the wall when they were trying to get some sleep. There were also plenty of times where his moans got us in trouble and suddenly there were 4 people in a tiny twin size bed flowing with a rotation of fucking. My lips smirked at the memories, the times before where everything was easier and my heart didnt flutter every time one of them came near me.

“Pl-please…”

My ears instantly grabbed onto his plead, letting it flow through my body. My teeth sunk into his skin and i sucked deeply, pulling a loud groan from him. I slipped him out of the confines of his briefs, his thickness laying against his stomach, already begging for more attention. I swirled my finger around the perimeter of his head, my nail tenderly scratching the sensitive skin ever so slightly. “Is all this for me?” I whispered against his freshly bitten skin of his hip.

He nodded quickly being on his best behavior so I could treat him more. I kissed the marks on his hip before shifting my focus to his cock. I licked up the length of his shaft slowly, savoring the way he felt on my tongue. I flicked my tongue against his head before repeating my motions. He was already trying to press against my lips and encourage me to take more of him into my mouth. I gripped his base firmly, letting him know that I was in control, and steadied his hips before kissing his tip. His breath was already beginning to become ragged, morphing into the occasional moans that accompanied me slipping him into my warm mouth. I bobbed my head slowly, working his shift and swirling my tongue around his veins. Inch by inch I swallowed down more of him, almost filling my throat completely with his cock. I looked up at him, loving the way he looked so wrapped up in pleasure. I pulled away with a quick pop, licking my lips and swallowing back the taste of his pre cum. “That’s only just the beginning, Hui.”

“You’re killing me.” He panted. I smirked and kicked off my shoes before sliding down his sweatpants that I was still wearing. I had a much bigger surprise for him planned but for now I straddled his hips, hovering just above his cock and pressing myself against him. Slowly, i rocked my hips, dragging the slick center of my panties up the length of his shaft. Hui’s head dropped forwards onto my chest as he released a soft string of curses. I tilted his head to the side and took the opportunity to capture his neck in slow kisses, sucking on his adam's apple and adding small bites wherever i wanted. Each of his breaths were coming in faster now as his hips rolled to meet mine. The tip of his cock grazed against my clit with each pass making me shudder. The lace between us added the slightest bit of friction which only increased the pleasure of our slow grinding. Our moans and soft pants mixed together creating our own music. Hui's hands rose from the side of the chair and slid across the expanse of my thighs, rubbing small circles into my skin. “Fuck, youre so wet already…” He whispered.

I licked his lips slowly, pulling away every time he tried to deepen it into a kiss. “That’s what happens when you sing for me, baby.”

“I want more...please?”

I rose my hips a little bit and focused my attention on sliding just the very tip of his cock against my slick folds, sinking down ever so slightly when he met my entrance. His grip on my thighs mimicked what he had on the chair just a few moments ago, his nails digging into my skin as his knuckles edged into a bright white. “Hwitaek,” I reprimanded. ‘You weren’t supposed to let go of the chair. If you're going to be like this then ill stop.”

He shook his head quickly. “No...no please. I just…” He pulled me closer to him, pressing hot open mouth kisses along my torso, making stops to suck on my nipples and bite the swell of my breasts. “I need you.”

I finally allowed him the pleasure of a kiss before sliding off of him. “Ok, ok,” I smiled. “I guess i've teased you long enough.” I grabbed him by his hand and pulled him up from the chair. He followed me easily to the bed and i made quick work of removing all his clothes. I saved the silk tie for last, untying it and tossing it onto the bed. He blinked a few times, his eyes readjusting to the the dim light of his room before he caught sight of me crawling into the bed, my ass on full display. My lace heart cut out panties accented the shape of my ass and gave him perfect view of the pink gem plug i had nestled inside me. I looked back at him and smirked. “Do you like it?”

His jaw was hanging and it took him a long time to stop staring but when he did he practically jumped onto me, cupping my face in his hands and pulling me into a deep kiss. “God, I love you.” My entire world stopped, my mind warping into a permanent replay of what I just heard. My heart was skipping beats and I could barely keep up. Every time i tried to say anything my mouth was overwhelmed by the hot wave of his tongue against mine. My hands sought refuge on his shoulders pushing him away gently.

“H-hui…” I said, breathlessly.

He looked down at me and pushed my hair back gently. My face felt like it was on fire after hearing those words and especially seeing the look he was giving me. I couldn't help but cover my face and try and hide from him. He laughed, a laugh like warm honey, and pulled my hands away. “What are you hiding for?”

“You...you said…”

He just smiled at me and continued the parade of kisses against my lips. I eventually relaxed under his touches and let him take over. I laid back against the bed and watched as the panties were slowly eased off my body and tossed to the floor. My legs fell open welcoming Hui to lower himself between them. His warm lips decorated my thighs in sweet kisses while his fingers hooked around the base of the plug. Little by little he pulled it out slowly, my body encouraging it to release. I heard a deep hum of approval from Hui before his tongue found itself deep inside me. I raised my hips just a bit so he had easier access between my cheeks which were spread open by his thumbs. My eyes fluttered closed and i sighed softly focusing entirely on the way he was making my body. My heart was racing, his name staining my lips over and over. His heated hands rubbed across my cheeks, sweeping up towards my hips which he clutched tight. My fingers tangled themselves in his soft hair edging him closer and deeper within me while my free hand rested on his, our fingers sliding together instantly. I felt him pull away which earned him an annoyed whine, especially since I was begging for him to tongue me deeper. “Huiiii…”

He shifted back onto his knees and secured his arms around my back, easily lifting me to sit on his lap. I gasped and smiled down at him from my new found angle, tilting his head up so I could melt into his lips. I felt his hand ease itself between us, guiding himself to my eager entrance. I sunk down easily, biting down on his lip and tugging as i felt his entire length fill me. I pressed my hand on his chest, steadying myself as I began to roll my hips, a slow rhythm of pulling out and sinking back down onto him. He kept a firm grip on my lower back, guiding me to where we both felt the most pleasure. His other hand pushed my hair out of my face, a chunk wrapped in his fist as he pulled my head to the side. I expected him to kiss my neck but instead he whispered against my jugular. My skin held the whispers he uttered about anything and everything he wanted to do to me and all i could do was become a mewling mess under his kiss, his touch, his words. He landed a kiss that was wrapped in a smirk against my neck, the pleasure of hearing me moan his name increasing the friction between us. His lips trailed lower to wrap around my breast, sucking deeply and hungrily as his hips pressed into mine. He felt so good deep inside me. It was like he was making an electrifying heat pool in the pit of my stomach.

My hand crept up to cup the back of his head, keeping him tight against my chest, loving the way his tongue teased my nipple. His hips were bucking faster than my slow rolls making my walls clench tight around his girth. His hand left my hair and instead slipped between my cheeks. He didn’t waste time plunging two fingers into my already gaped rim. My mind floated back to the first time we were got together in the piano room. “Hmm, this seems familiar.” I panted and chuckled softly.

He nodded against my chest, thrusting his fingers at the same speed of his hips. “I loved watching you. I still do. All you need is that cute school girl skirt. Fuck…” I could tell he was holding back by the way he was throbbing inside me. He was saving the best for last but he always worked me up first before even thinking of plowing into my ass. I wanted him to have exactly what he wanted. “Fuck me now, Hui. The way you want to.” He pulled away from my chest and slowed his hips, easing me off him. His cock glistened with a mixture of our cum making him perfectly slick. I turned onto my hands and knees and I dipped my back low, my stomach pressing into the mattress with my ass raised high. He was on me instantly practically mounting me. I reached back and spread my cheeks wide allowing him a perfect view of my hole. Hui kept a his hand firm against my lower back as his cock slid against my gape, spreading our cum over me before easing his head into it. My eyes fluttered closed and I bit down on my lip, keeping my moan trapped. He was already stretching me further than the plug did. It was driving me insane. Little by little every bit of him sunk into me and he rested there for a moment, allowing my prestretched walls to adjust. He bent over my body trailing wet kisses down my spine, the room filling with the soft sounds of us panting. I spread my knees a little wider welcoming him to start moving. The first thrust was small and tentative. Even though we had done this plenty of times before he always took pride in making sure i felt nothing but pleasure. I could feel the pressure deep within my stomach. My body reacted instantly and i was pushing back against him in no time.

Hui moved his hand to grip the back of my neck, pinning me to the bed. I couldn’t move under him but it made everything that much more intense. His thrusts were slow and rough, the sound of his skin slapping against mine echoed in my ears almost blocking out the way my heart was thundering. My teeth forwent my bottom lip and instead found their new home buried deep in Hui's pillow. All my sounds were muffled but he could still hear every moan and scream i made. I could feel his eyes on me, watching the way he slid in and out of my ass which wrapped around him so perfectly. My walls were clenching around him, welcoming his swollen member and his impending orgasm. Just thinking about him cumming inside me had my thighs quaking and threatening to collapse under me. His free hand wrapped around my waist, pressing against my stomach, feeling the head of his cock pressing into my walls. My hand clutched desperately at the sheets clenching them in my fist. My other hand slid between my legs and i pushed several fingers inside myself, greedily wanting to feel even more pleasure.

My hair clung to my sweat drenched face, my teeth practically ripping at the pillowcase. I could feel myself on the brink of an orgasm. I was rocking faster. Harder. Screaming for my release. Hui's grip on the back of my neck tightened as my name spilled from him, mixed in with curses and pet names. I looked back at him through the strands of hair that were sticking to me. His eyes were closed, mouth torn between moans and screams of passion. I pressed my ass flush against his hips making sure he could fill me completely. I slid my fingers out from within me, trailing them up my folds and concentrating rough circles on my clit. Hui swelled inside me and my entire being shuddered as I was filled with an intense heat. A wave of ecstasy hit me hard and i screamed into the pillow. My body tried to contain all of Hui’s cum but i could feel it already spilling out of me. “Fuck Hui…” I groaned into the pillow. My legs gave out of me and i collapsed onto the bed with Hui’s thrusts slowing to a languid roll. He braced himself on his arms so he wouldn’t crush me. His cum trickled down between my folds and I couldn’t help but lick my lips, a devilish smile crossing my lips. I gathered some of his cum on my fingers and swirled it around my clit before diving into my entrance again. Hui pulled my hand away and lowered himself to whisper against my ear.

“Youre being bad.”

I turned my head quickly and captured him in a deep kiss, sucking on his lips and tongue greedily. “I love the way you feel inside me.”

“Mhmm…” He moaned against my lips. “You are seriously the best.”

“I'm glad you liked your surprise.” I eased myself onto my side, allowing Hui to spoon me instantly. He kept himself buried deep inside my ass and I welcomed it, feeling comforted by having him there. He bought my cum slicked fingers to his lips and trailed his tongue across them, swallowing down our taste.

“We taste so good together.” He moaned before morphing our hands together. He buried his face between my neck and shoulder, planting warm kisses against my neck. I pulled the covers up over us and settled into our familiar position of comfort. “Did you mean it?” i asked softly.

He nuzzled my neck, muffling his response. “Mean what?”

“What you said...earlier. Or were you just caught up in the moment?” Saying the latter out loud made my heart feel heavy.

“That I love you?” My heart skipped a beat again. The way he said it so casually still blew my mind.

“Yeah...that. That's um...i've never had anyone say that to me before.”

He sighed and leaned away from me a bit. “It's complicated.”

“Boy, youre fucking telling me. Christ on a cross.” I sighed, comforted by the fact that we were both in the same position emotionally.

“I didn't really mean to say it but i also don't like...not mean it? I really do care about you. And i definitely have feelings for you. But i know that you may not want to be with me.”

“What? Hui, thats not true at all. I want to be with you. In fact i want to be with a lot of people and that's why i've basically fucked everything up. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not at all.”

“You're not the only one. We contributed to it too. So we're all dumbasses here. Just take your time with it. I'm patient. I want you to be sure of your feelings above everything else.”

I groaned and pulled him close to me. “I hate when you say those things to me. You're so perfect.”

He chucked and squeezed me tight to him. “Barely. But if it gets me some boyfriend points then by all means keep saying it.” He kissed my cheek and laid his head back on the pillow. “By the way you're not borrowing my hoodie tomorrow.”

“I'll have you know i brought my own clothes this time. I came prepared. Im still gonna steal your hoodie though.”

“I'm going to get a safe and lock them up. You're like a dragon with a hoard.” he yawned then fell into a softer sigh. I could tell he was trying to stay up just to banter with me and protect the dignity of his hoodie. But he was definitely not going to win this one. I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and smiled.

“Go to sleep, Hui. I'm not going anywhere.” I closed my eyes and stayed wrapped up in his warmth not even paying attention to my phone vibrating at the bottom of my bag.

[babyandprincessddlgblog]

Long Distance Relationships

So you want to know more about long distance relationships...

Well, for starters, they’re not easy. They take a lot of work, diligence, time commitments, compromising, and patience. They test you in many ways, and sometimes leave you feeling alone even though you have someone.

Long distance relationships are not for everyone, and they certainly are not something to toy with, because a partners feelings are on the line. Take me and Princess for example: Princess needs that one on one relationship, the closeness, the physical touch, the sexual release of being a submissive for a dom in person. However she is also willing to make a several hour drive to see her partner, no matter the circumstances.

Baby on the other hand, is willing to have a long distance relationship (or in her current situation a long distance queer-platonic relationship), and work with her dom in order to have that bond even though the distance does not always physical meetings.

How do I know a long distance relationship is right for me, then?

Answer me this:

Are you fully prepared to go months, or maybe even a year or more without physically being near your partner?

Can you handle when they are unavailable, that you can’t always talk to them?

Do you have the time, or are you willing to make time even if your day is absolutely overflowing with tasks, to talk to them and love them and encourage them?

Do you have the discipline to save money for gas, plane tickets, and hotel rooms just to see them for a few hours or if you’re lucky a few days?

Can you go long amounts of time and remain loyal to them emotionally, mentally, physically, and sexually?

Are you able to handle not being able to touch them, hold their hand, kiss their lips, play with their hair, and overall do what every other couple does?

I think I can do all those things... So what do I do?

You have a few options depending on your current situation. Maybe you’re talking to a potential dom, and you want to test the waters. Maybe you’re a single sub and you want to be actively searching. Maybe you want to be involved in the community and not worry about it. Regardless, here are a few tips for any circumstance you may be in.

1. I’m single, I like it, I just want to freely express my kinky side.

Wonderful! You know what you want and there’s a simple answer to this:

Munches. Play parties. Teaching opportunities.

Basically, there’s a website called Fetlife that has an “Events” page that shows any and all kinky events in your area. Looking for a rope class? They’ve got the link. Maybe you want to play? There’s the info on Fet. A casual pizza place munch? You bet!

By getting out into your local community, you can build up your knowledge and express yourself freely, without worrying about a commitment.

2. I want to be actively searching for a dom, but like, how??

Have no fear, Baby is here! I’ve used essentially the majority of platforms available to us kinksters to seek out true doms who want to have a great relationship with a sub. You name it, I’ve tried it: Tinder, Fet, Tumblr matchmaking blogs, straight up following doms and trying to court them (sorry GPD lolz).

Here are my tried and true reviews:

Tinder: Listen, you’re literally gonna get like 500+ fuckboys. That’s what Tinder is for. HOWEVER!! I have a hack to weed through them. Simply put a point of outside contact that isn’t your phone number (and a platform where you can block people). I use kik, so I simply put my kik username in my bio. If they’re really looking at each person individually, they’ll contact you. Most of the guys I get are total douchebags, yes, but don’t be afraid of that block button.

But, I did find Daddy through kik. He messaged me by chance when I wasn’t even looking for a dom, and we clicked, and a whole year later here we are still in a healthy cg/l dynamic with each other.

Fetlife: Basically Tinder for guys who want to be called “daddy”. You’re gonna get weirder dudes on here, but you have a bit higher of a chance to find a suitable dom. Princess found the dom she is in a dynamic with through Fet, then Tinder, then Bumble, and now they’re officially a thing.

Tumblr Matchmaking Blogs: STAY FAR AWAY FROM THESE!! The only good thing that comes from these blogs is there’s a bunch of pedophiles in one place to automatically report and block. There might be one or two diamonds in the rough, but trust me it’s not worth it. It’s mostly underage children and creepy old dudes. Just report the blogs and move on.

Tumblr Dom Blogs: These can be good, if you’re able to identify the real ones from the fake ones. A ton of “dominants” run these, and very few are actually in the community with good intentions. I’ve been looking for 3 years and I’ve only found a handful of good blogs ( @mistersbeard​ / @lovemysub​ are my favorites because they’re educational and fun). So, I mean, you can talk to doms on Tumblr, sure, but be careful and know how to identify them first.

Most Importantly: DO. NOT. GO. LOOKING. FOR. A. DOM. IF. YOU’RE. A. NEW. SUB.

I cannot stress this enough, and if you’re like me you’ll be like “lolz, literally nothing will happen, I’m a smart cookie, I can handle-” No. Seriously, this spells trouble and it will leave you a hurt little subby in the end. Learn, grow, gain experience in a safe environment, don’t think the BDSM porn is accurate (it’s not), practice consent, use safewords, and above all don’t rush into anything. A d/s relationship takes time and energy, put in a ton of both before even calling anything a relationship.

3. I have someone I’m considering to be my dom, but I don’t know how to approach it.

Something I learned that has saved me a ton of grief, is to use the consideration phase to your advantage. Essentially, don’t commit, but play into the dynamic between the person you’re considering.

Let’s say you need some help drinking more water. Talk to the dom you’re interested in about introducing a rule to better yourself. Discuss every detail of it. How much water? How many times a day? What if you don’t meet the quota? What if you break the rule and have coffee? Etc. Etc. Etc. Establish a couple low level punishments if that’s your thing. Then when you’re both comfortable, add another rule, add some rewards, add some more dynamics.

When you both feel like you want to commit a couple months, or even years, later, go for it.

A consideration phase makes everything less stressful. There’s no full submission yet unless you choose it. It’s all in your control, which it always should be, and you can shut it all down with the snap of a finger if you don’t feel comfortable.

The most important unspoken rules of LDR’s:

1. Make time for one another. Don’t send just a couple quick texts a day, a goodnight video, and call it good. Actually make time, even if you’re walking the dog or making dinner, to share little tidbits and make it feel like you’re together.

2. Send everything! Pictures, videos, emojis, gifs, stickers. Send a letter, and email, video chat, plan a day trip (if the proximity allows). Send them things that remind you of them. Discuss big things, small things, and in-between things. Make each other feel like you’re right there, but also maintain the responsibility you have to maintain.

3. Things can be sexual, or not, it’s your control. Feeling pressured to send some tit pics? Stand your ground and refuse. Feeling frisky and want to play? Discuss it and see if you can both do so/are comfortable.

4. It’s hard. Like, really hard. You love this other being so much and you just want to be near them and give them the world and that’s not always possible. But cherish every little second you get to spend with them, in person or online.

5. Be patient, and appreciate everything you give and receive. What you have is special, and it should be treated as such. It’s not everyday that you build a unique bond with someone.

Finally, a word from Daddy A:

It strengthens the emotional and mental sides greatly, but the lack of contact does suck. Essentially, a sub can be with another dominant to fulfill that, if their main is alright with it, but it goes beyond sexual release, as some may assume when looking at any format of bdsm.

The LG/DD dynamic has a bigger focus on protection and comfort by and large. We wish for our submissives to be perfectly fine with us, and thus, give us their submission. In turn, we provide the support, the nurturing and protection they desire.

Sexuality isn't inherently a part of the dynamic, but once you've become so familiar with someone, it's hard to separate into something more casual. You don't want to be spanked, you want to be spanked by your dominant.

How I see it, the distance definitely makes the bond so much stronger, leading to when you finally meet in person being a grand thing. However, it does not mean it's for everyone. You gotta be ready for the stretches of time, the worry, the anxiety and personal issues. Patience is big and openness is necessary.

On top of that, when you do possibly meet, be ready for it to not be a scene right away. Sometimes it'll just be grabbing lunch, maybe something tame where you aren't always in the head space. But, sometimes that's enough; just that, whatever it is, is what you both need to reassure that it's real and can grow. It won't be a sexual release, but both can breathe easier.

Expectations have to be tempered. Maybe you don't have a private place, maybe someone is nervous.

Even without it being a scene, the two could be huge dorks and walk past each other at a theme park despite dying to be beside the other.