#and brings tons of funny edits with funny sounds

[laianely]

Sorry, but this is how TikTok wants it to be

Music changes everything.

Don't know why I didn't want to post it here, but I changed my mind.

Tag people who may be interested: @killianxswan @teamhook @booksteaandtoomuchtv @exhaustedpirate @anmylica @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @undercaffinatednightmare @resident-of-storybrooke @caught-in-the-filter @tiganasummertree @stahlords @lfh1226-linda @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite @captainswan-kellie @motherkatereloyshipper @soniccat @jrob64 @beckettj @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jonesfandomfanatic @zaharadessert @bluewildcatfanatic @once-upon-a-happy-end @ultraluckycatnd

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 07/05/2024

Rooftop Bop

Season 4 Episode 1 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume AI

Ripped by Mitchell

Requested by InitialDDD! (Request Form)

Man, Scatman John...what an interesting relation he has to the internet, huh? For whatever reason back in the early days of YouTube, his titular hit song Scatman became really prevalent to use in amateur comedy videos, most notably with the "Super Mario 64 Bloopers!"-genre of video. These are actually videos that I have memory of watching - people just playing around in their childhood 3D game and making up their own little stories and sketches to the tune of silly music. But Scatman, and its less-viral sibling Scatman's World, are more than just nonsense, there's an emotion to John's two legendary songs, a distillation of raw nostalgia - one that the internet suddenly rediscovered back in 2019, and one that SiIvaGunner itself celebrated in bursts throughout the whole year, with Rooftop Bop being an absolute standout example.

Like with most memes, its hard to really trace down a logistical reason for their upbringing - check any KnowYourMeme page, and its bound to just say something along the lines of "on this date, this video/image was posted, and gained tons of attention". The Scatman-posting of 2019 was a pretty interesting case on top of that - the "AWESOME - HE FINALLY" memes that initiated it all were like a big mishmash of memes old and new. Part of the joke was in using nostalgic pieces from the old internet, the music and the "black border" template, over clips from Vine or elsewhere edited to have a positive, borderline innocent outcome, as if to intentionally turn the "Loud equals funny" format that so much of Vine fell under on its head. It's like three layers deep into irony, to where it loops around into finding sincere happiness funny - but it is genuinely still just a really good bit, the perfect kind of stupid comedy that's at once unexpected yet also brings its audience together over the nostalgia it evokes - nostalgia for two different eras of the internet, even! Despite being so core to the old internet days, Scatman wasn't very prominent on the Unregistered Hypercam 2 takeover of 2018, taking a backseat to other internet anthems like Never Gonna Give You Up in Never Gonna Give Up Mahjong and Dreamscape in How 2 Do Anything. But, as if it was fated to be, just a few months later in 2019 Scatman John would once again be made relevant - and the SiIva team was right on top of things.

A lot of Scatman John's prominence on SiIva in 2019 was, of course, on the legendary Not Funny Didn't Laugh day - on the 10th of September (whats 9 plus 10?), a series of shitposts intentionally drenched in as much irony as possible were featured on the channel, the depths of which I explored back in Sex - Steve Harvey. But beyond giving us all brain damage, the event was like a huge shot in the arm for Scatman Stocks - and just two weeks later, we would receive perhaps the best Scatman rip yet. The guy had been lurking as a meme on SiIva before, notably being in some Season 1 rips here and there - and so his return on Not Funny Didn't Laugh day felt like just one more piece of internet history to be nostalgic for. Early YouTube, Vine, and the very first months of SiIvaGunner - all rolled into two songs filled with such whimsy, yet also filled with pure emotion. Now: Does that ring a bell to anyone else?

I feel like Rooftop Bop is the definition of a "more than the sum of its parts" rip, if that makes any sense. It's an excellent melody swap/mashup no doubt, the kind that almost makes you wonder how it was even done with how authentic the violin's lead melody sounds, and the chorus returning to the original Rooftop Run: Act 1 theme with Scatman John's vocals hits oh-so-hard - its an amazingly paced out rip throughout, ping-ponging between melody swap, mashup and both at once throughout - but like I said, the rip is so much more than all of that. It feels almost like a universal experience (at least, for my generation) to have an attachment to Scatman John - but more than that, we all have an attachment to the very thing his two hits represented. Because his balance of silliness and genuine heartfelt emotion is the exact thing that made SiIvaGunner so special all the way back in Season 1, the kind of balance that has made us all smile, laugh, empathize and outright cry, althewhile never losing its core of pure whimsy. Be it The Paragoomba and the Wiggler, Aphex, Planet Wisp Mashup Medley, Turnabout Fishters, or indeed Rooftop Bop - SiIvaGunner, very much like Scatman John, has gotten so many emotions out of us, and made us all too attached to an entity others may consider naught but a silly gimmick.

It's a fantastic listen - but more than that, it's an incredible experience. The latter half of Season 4 Episode 1 of SiIvaGunner was perhaps the most exciting period to ever follow the channel during, and Rooftop Bop's unprecedented ability to unite us all through a raw dosage of nostalgic memories couldn't have come at a better time.

[friccinfricks]

Joe Elliott x Reader head canons: penpals edition

- of course when the guys go on tour, you and Joe have an agreement to try to call at least three or four times a week, especially right before he goes on stage

- but sometimes those short phone calls aren’t enough to get everything out that you need to say to each other (keep in mind, these are international tours we’re referring to)

- so before the tour, you and Joe sit down over (what was supposed to be just one, turns into three) coffee and go over all the different hotels he’ll be at, explicit addresses, and the exact dates.

- it brings a smile to your face, watching how intently he sifts through piles and piles of paperwork, just so he can be sure you’ve got a mailing address “just in case” you decide you want to mail him a letter.

- it’s February of 1983 and the band will be in America for over two months, and with the tour starting in England, you plan on clinging onto him and finding ways to pop in at his hotels when it’s not too much trouble to get there

- but as you go over the list, you realize how exact and precise your planning will have to be in order to get a letter to him. it’s daunting. they’ll be in an entirely new city, oftentimes state, every. single. night.

- he seems excited just to have had the conversation with you, though. he’s eager to maintain this new, sprouting relationship with you, despite the ever-approaching tour. three months is a long time to be away, but knowing you’ll be back home waiting for him makes his heart leap.

- in actuality, he has already started writing letters to you. he started just weeks after you met, but felt too bashful to actually send them, seeing as you went on dates every weekend and he tried to come over on nights when you’d had an excruciating long day at work and were in no circumstance to cook for yourself

- so now he’s found the perfect excuse to show you in writing, what his words have always wanted to tell you.

- ah, but you’ve got a little trick up your sleeve too, don’t you?

- you’ve got a friend in texas whose got a friend in the international airlines and you’ve landed yourself not just a ticket across the pond, but a few nights in Dallas, perfectly in time for just when Def Leppard’ll be playing.

- but you love seeing how excited Joe is. it thrills you knowing that at least every once in a while, you’ll get a letter from him.

- and so it begins.

- after starting the tour in Europe, you find a way to go to the airport with the boys and see them off.

- Phil and Sav are both making vomiting noises when they see Joe plant a tender, but firm kiss on your lips, to which you both respond to by giving them each the middle finger

- you watch as the five of them board the plane, Joe boarding last, and giving you a final wave.

- it’s bittersweet, only because you sent a letter to their first hotel a week and a half ago and alreadr made sure that they’d received it. Joe was absolutely thrilled when at check in, their tour manager walked over and said, “I don’t know how, but you’ve got a piece of mail.”

- much to your surprise, when you go home that day, you notice a thick envelope on your doorstep

- it’s not got any postage or any indication that it went through the postal service, so you’re trepedatious to open it

- you just smile and sigh in contentment when you look inside, seeing tons of hand written notes, all addressed to you as, “Y/N, my beloved,”

- there are poems, doodles, lists, photographs, a little bit of everything.

- one of the last notes you find says, “I’m sorry for the creepy delivery, I just had to be sure you got it today! specifically, today!”

- a few days later, you get your first call from America.

“Y/N!”

“Hmm, who is this? you sound so… American.”

“Oh, how funny.”

“Hello, Joe.”

“Hello, Y/N.” you can hear all sorts of sudden noises in the background now, mostly exclamations of your name.

“Hi, everyone.” you giggle. you hear a thump and a bit of static.

“Y/N, hi- it’s Rick. please, you have to tell Joe to shut up. I speak for everyone when I say he cannot stop lamenting over-”

“Lamenting? who are you? shakespeare? give me a fuckin break. Y/N, don’t listen to him. he’s a liar and a thief.” you hear Joe distantly in the background.

“Lamenting over how just heartbrokenly lonely he is.” this time it’s Steve who chimes in.

“It’s as if the man has never used his hand before.”

“Bollocks!”

you can’t contain your laughter, it just keeps rolling out of you, your sides hurt as you gasp for air.

- all of the calls right before shows are like this

- some, however, are made from hotel bedrooms, and include much more… explicit, dirty conversation.

- you listen intently as Joe tells you all of his most wild, urgent thoughts. you can feel your heartbeat throughout your entire body as you obey his commands through the phone receiver, accompanied by stern reminders that you have to be quiet, as you wouldn’t want to disturb your neighbors on the other side of your flat’s walls.

- it’s fair. you’ve had it coming, after all. with every new letter sent, there includes a page full of paragraphs of the most raw, animalistic urges you’ve had in his absence.

- and the pictures. oh, the pictures.

- Joe loses his mind every time you send him a new polaroid of some shocking nude pose you’ve gotten yourself into.

- the letters continue throughout the entire tour, back and forth, as do the calls.

- and let’s just say when you show up at his Dallas hotel room an hour before he checks in, clad in a mini skirt, a button up a few sizes too small, and a smile, he goes absolutely feral.

[beeblackburn]

Top 5 favourite films?

Thank you, @hiddenlookingglass!

Before I continue, I have to give the obvious caveat that I haven't watched a ton of films, relatively speaking. I think most of these films were watched last year alone. And, making this list, I have to give honorable mentions, because, fuck me, originally this list was seven entries and, short of cheating this ask to write out top seven or ten, it was never going to happen without title-dropping the runner-ups, so here goes:

You Were Never Really Here: Take the premise of John Wick, drain it of all the orchestra and slickness, ground it in broken people, scarred by violence in childhood to adulthood, and polish it off with some of the tightest film editing and sound design in the industry, and you get my unquestionably favorite anti-violence film.

The Final Exit of the Disciples of Ascenscia: A lovely and tragic indie gem of an animated film about a cult, one that finally clicked the appeal of them without diminishing their harm, and one that breaks me in touching on my own questions of loneliness... and whether being in an unhealthy dynamic is better than being alone.

Paddington: The second one is undeniably an even better film, but this one's rain scenes and leisurely narrative feels cozier to me. Whenever I feel like complete dogshit, I rewatch this, because Paddington's charm and earnestness winning over the Browns before realizing he found his family and home with them is hrrgh.

The Green Knight: A visually sumptuous banquet of the senses, trippy and wondrous in how it depicts Gawain's knightly trials, with moral and literary themes that scratch my itches and a fantastic leading actor who carries the film, complete with an ending that brings it all home, landing with such an earned emotional punch.

The Witch: Eggers' mastery at inhabiting the psychological reality of his time periods is impeccable, and it all started with this horror tale of a family plagued by the supernatural outside their walls... and religious anguish and Puritan misogyny among its members. Paired with a hell of an ending and arresting last shot? Delicious.

And, now, onto the proper top five!

1. Everything Everywhere All at Once

Look, is the script overstuffed with exposition about how the multiverse works? Yes. Is it ultimately narratively unwieldly, even faking us out with a false climax, and increasingly uneven to the end? Yes. Are some of the jokes pretty juvenile in the "haha, dildos are funny" realm? Yes. Could it have been more queer? Yes. Is the conclusion a little too tidy and pat, especially for my Chinese childhood abused-ass? Yes, yes, yes. There are definitely fair criticisms that I can agree to, but...

Every time I revisit this film, it wrecks me a whole another way. I never escape this film emotionally unscathed, I philosophically and morally match to it like an alternate version of me jumped into my mind, slipped into my flesh. There are at least five scenes in it that crack me open like a chestnut and I'm left a blubbering mess and astonished at how it manages to tie together all the chaos at the end in such believable catharsis that I can still buy into.

It's still an amazingly-acted film that allows for a rough, unpleasant, and embittered middle-aged female protagonist to lead the events, quite a few ladies dictate and command the plot, and manages to juggle a ton of disparate tones, balancing genuine pathos with bathos, and emotional weight undergirding every bit of silliness and goofy concepts it throws at you. It's still a multiversal familial drama that, at the heart of it, is centered around the experience of what if our first-generation immigrant parents made different choices, that failure can be its own positive experience in a lifetime full of not living up to your parents-demanded potential, and that, in depressive ennui, loneliness, and intense nihilism, all we can do is love, embrace what little joys our speck of lives get, and be there for each other. That, despite the material hardships and pain of a life, our connections still matter enough to keep at it.

It throws the totality of everything beyond the universe at our minds and senses, even down to "talking" rocks and sausage-fingers people, calling to the sheer information overload that most everyone in 2022 felt keenly, acknowledging that it can be such a burden that threatens to hollow us out with existential indifference... and earnestly makes its own case against that. If nothing matters, if all we do and are is worthless in the grander scope of the universe, then these moments we're facing right now, the people in our lives, they matter.

We're not built to attend to everything everywhere all at once. We'll always feel the whisper of what-ifs, the weight of different paths not taken. We might even be useless alone. All we can really do, in the end, is be there for these moments and people around our present. I can't help, but cherish this film on those grounds, but it offered such an awe-inspiring, emotionally resonant experience that it jumps up to my favorite as a result.

2. Pig

How has this masterpiece of a debut, depicting grief, human connection, the heart and art being hollowed by loss and commercial concerns, and masculine vulnerability with such finesse, flown under the radar, nor been nominated for any major accolades? I'm genuinely asking, because, aside from maybe one particular scene that tries to fake us out into thinking it'll become a more conventional John Wickesque revenge thriller, I don't see any crucial flaws that wouldn't warrant it in the discussion as one of 2021's best films. If you haven't yet, treat yourself to one of the best films I've watched.

I watched one of its mid-section scenes, that speech, you know the one if you've watched it, on its own, and wept at the power of its acting, dialogue, and direction by itself. The fact that I still broke down, despite primed, when watching it in the context of the full film should tell you how good Sarnoski's hands are at his first try as director. He brings an intimacy and restraint to the camera in capturing the events in the film, often situating his central characters against the wider scope of his landscapes and environments through a wider lens, showing them as small people against the greater beasts of being scored by grief and loneliness.

Though, given I brought up John Wick, one facet these two share, despite the bait-and-switch of premise, is that almost every character, no matter how minor, has a personality and some texture of history with the protagonist, by direction or sheer acting. Sarnoski just trusts us to infer the weight of history between our characters and, if you want to know how well that approach turns out, Cage's performance should be the clear-cut sign. If you have any doubts of how good Nicholas Cage could be, and trust me, I had a few, this is easily his subtlest, most restrained performance. No signs of a Cage hamfest, this is him at his best and minutely controlled, portraying a stoic man whose hardened demeanor and lack of social graces belies a painful past and years spent in intentional human disconnect.

And how we disconnect from other people bleeds into this narrative, permeates like an unspoken wound that won't scar and heal without proper treatment. Our central characters are haunted by ghosts in the narrative, unable to process what they've lost or reach out to others, for fear of surrendering to the totality of pain from that absence. But there's also disconnect from retreating to what others want, never showing ourselves and only what's acceptable to our social peers, our patrons, or our families, and it costs us piece-by-piece until there's slowly nothing left of us.

And it ends up on an unexpected climax and such a gentle note about masculinity, about how men suffer in trying to bear their griefs stoically, instead of permitting a chink of vulnerability. I dare not spoil more, you have to see it for yourself in how it succeeds in defining its own terms for masculinity and how much emotion cracks through the narrative. It's a film that divulges into the nature of art and food, and how they can bring forth an invitation of connection to others, and it deserves so much consideration and attention, given how much of a powerhouse it is.

3. A Ghost Story

Oh, this sleeper hit of heartache. I knew, going in, that the ending scene would cut to the emotional bone, having checked it out in a clip before, but the knife this slid between my ribs was unexpected in its depth and sharpness, especially given when I watched it. This was after I watched both Pig and The Green Knight, both stellar, emotional films, and while I think Lowery's later work there is better put-together in both pacing and visuals (A Ghost Story absolutely has scenes that drag, and I genuinely think one in particular suffered from overstaying its moment and not fitting Lowery's strengths as a visual/atmospheric director), this touched me so much more in its statement of grief and time.

I've watched enough films to get a decent grasp on my tastes, and its meandering, contemplative, more mundane fares that let scenes breathe in their silence without a quippy aside. This one suffused me in its haunting, contemplative atmosphere from the halfway point, lingering onwards and well after it ended. Lowery's direction is grounded in its intimacy, choosing to focus long stretches on mundanities other directors would've skipped past, as if to say these small moments, daily and common as they are, are what's most important in the grand scope of life and what we focus on, despite the vastness on time upon us all.

And the time spent during grief is where the film guts me in its first half. Going from cozier domesticity, full of lived-in marital discussions and intimacies, to the tangle of strangers sorting through the post-death ceremonies and the silences in the griever's life, booming from the absence of their beloved. Those long, uninterrupted shots, from then on, serve to point out how life persists after our bereavements. There is such attention and empathy to the camera, in how the director wants to show how people cope with grief, how it dogs our every movement, weighs down our limbs, loosens out the tears inside, and make us focus our energies on such simple things like eating food in the dark, to fill the hole our losses leave behind.

But if some trace of us survive as ghosts, upon death, then loss cuts both ways, and it's here that this film truly unmakes me in how it handles grief and remembrance on the ethereal side. Using ghosts as a speculative vehicle, it invites us to see how differently they experience the passage of time, as these beings are temporally untethered, but stay geographically tethered to a particular land. There's such a bitter loneliness to their existences, how being unravaged by time means they are unable to grieve being left alone themselves, they cannot move on by the temporal march by itself.

It's a beautiful, tender film, where centuries can pass by in the blink of a transition, but tiny affections take up whole minutes. A quiet narrative where snapshots of marriage and the tolls of grief take up uninterrupted stretches, letting them sit inside us and linger. A poignant story that ponders, sincerely, if something, anything survives of us after we are gone from this earth, or if we are doomed to have our impact on this mortal plane swept aside and forgotten after we pass away and time moves on from us.

4. The Last Duel

I have a confession: this is my first and, so far, only Ridley Scott joint for various reasons. I don't love R-rated films, I easily get squeamish over live-action gore, and his biggest film and the one most people remember him by was Alien, which wasn't The Thing graphic, but definitely still above my comfort level! So I never touched him for a decade and a half. Now, later, I watched some of the earlier grisly parts of Game of Thrones and found out he directed plenty of period dramas, which was more my speed, and I got the opportunity to check his The Last Duel out with a group viewing. Now, given that preamble, imagine how I felt at its opening scene: a slow-burn of an opening with a lady being dressed before a duel between two men, shot in the same way they are being armored, as if she bears her life as well on the line, and bears witness to two knights charging at each other, before they converge, both hoping to break bones and shed blood.

That, and the subsequent Battle of Limoges, would absolutely impressed onto me that holy shit, Scott directs action in two minutes unquestionably better than some directors do in entire films. He portrays the inherent viciousness, filth, and ferocity of battle in a way that immediately clicked to me as a fan of Joe Abercrombie and a lesser one of Miles Cameron. And armor matters! But that, by itself, wouldn't have made for a favorite of mine. No, it's how this is a proper medieval legal drama with three central, compelling characters at its heart, each explored through a Rashomon-style framing device, and a heartbreakingly timeless message of what a rape victim's choices are in the patriarchy. Does it have its flaws? A few admittedly key ones of editing and dialogue that give away its directorial intent, but nothing so critical to weigh it down from its vaulted highs.

What's amazing about this film, and one of the key things I respect about it as someone who wants to write in that age, is how much, for the majority of its narrative, it is grounded in its medieval realities without turning its characters into anachronic mouthpieces. It has a showcase of warriors scarred and visually worn down by the wars they waged, discusses how the Black Death affected medieval economics and taxes, deals with betrothals and the dowries involved, and how waning wartime fortunes in a lord can sour the pot there, and the turmoil of marriage life, especially how reproductive knowledge intersected with beliefs about rape and love at the time. It admirably enmeshes itself so utterly in the culture of that age, that it's depressing to consider just how much patriarchal culture hasn't changed since then.

And how it divulges into patriarchal culture with nuance, and how women become victimized by it, is so key to making the proceeding duel all the more impactful. Because, as the framing device shows, these men don't come from a vacuum of their medieval culture, their egos and entitlements and self-justifications were shaped by their sexual circumstances and chivalric tales, and there are countless others like them who've done just as bad, if not worse, to others. It's why, even before the duel's outcome is set in stone, the crushing truth of the matter is... no matter the result, at least one individual dies, but the patriarchal apparatus stands, grinding up women in the future as it did the one witnessing the duel.

It's unflinching in its depiction of medieval culture, it's brutal in its violence, both warfare and sexual, and it demands an expectation of ambiguity in the character psychologies and gives no easy answers on how to deal with the patriarchy, especially when, as a lady of the time, you were dependent on the men who uphold it, at the mercy of their actions for your justice. It's why the last third is so harrowing: before the duel, before the trial, even before the incident, countless women went through similar horrors without the spectacle of public scrutiny. The final emotional context leaches the initial excitement when we return to the opening, leaving behind only cold understanding and terrible tension, no matter how much thrilling combat clashes and clangs in the winter air. It's my favorite period drama so far, and I don't expect it to be beat anytime soon.

5. The Secret of Nimh

Another confession: I didn't watch this, front to back, until the 30th Anniversary screening at my local Cineplex theater last year. Not that I didn't love what I saw in clips and pictures, but when the full film was on Youtube when I was in my teens, I neglected to watch it all the way, then it got taken down for a long while. There were other animated films and I didn't relish checking it out in separated clips. So, I knew a bit of what to expect, but boy, this whole film on the big screen was a greater feast for the eyes than any recent Pixar film I checked out. Does it have its problems? Yes, it's definitely narratively uneven, even rushed at times. I do wish some characters got more fleshed out and more time was given to the runtime, as a result. And I can 100% get the criticism of that climax resolution being a deus ex machina, even if I don't agree with it.

But, also, it's fucking The Secret of Nimh. Every frame here feels like it was downloaded from my mind, every sketchy bit of animated linework like it was distilled from my meaty head pulp. Its gothic and dark sci-fi aesthetics are unimpeachable to me, no other animated film comes close to approaching how much I viscerally crave their visual trappings. Say what you will about Bluth, and I certainly have my opinions about his stinkers, but even in them, the man and his team can draw up gorgeous, magical backgrounds and artistry. They're fascinating, lovingly animated and/or goddamn horny messes, bless them. You get a consistent grainy sort of texture in the linework, in the animation models themselves, that I can't help, but always adore with my eyes, hitting a sweet spot with me in this particular feature animation of his.

Even through the more childish trappings like Jeremy and the simplicity of the quest structure, how it balances those with its more heady themes always intrigues me further as an adult, like how we'll uplift our lesser animals before disregarding them, leaving them with the alienation and consequences of those experiments, and how the arrogance and selfishness of humanity manifests in our creations as a result. There's also bits of understated worldbuilding one catches better as an adult, like the fact that the non-Nimh associated female animals have no first names and are surname-defined by species (Auntie Shrew) or by male partner (Mrs. Brisby), suggesting a patriarchal ecological system. And, even before all that, the poignancy of a mother's quest to suck in her fears to protect and save her child from death only enriches with age.

None of this would hit as well, if not for the characters, even the supporting cast being animated to give them such fluid energy and expressive body language in the best of Bluth fashion. Most are dimensional enough in script to make the overall cast a cut above the typical animated fare, even the one-offs or the minor ones that appear in one scene or two. But the crown that completes the jewel of this production is the lead herself, Mrs. Brisby. She's easily one of the best, if not straight-up so, animated protagonists ever. Female leads weren't unknown back then, but mother leads? Almost unheard of, back then. And a huge part of that best status, what cements her place as such is that she's vulnerable throughout the movie. She's just a small mouse in a world full of giants and monsters, and she never fails to be scared at the vastness of the obstacles in her path. Yet, she doesn't whine, nor cower when the chips are down. By all accounts, her storied husband should've been the hero here, carrying out this mission to help cure his child... but he's gone, and Mrs. Brisby has to rise up to the occasion, stir up her courage to go on this sprawling quest, face down horrors and ancients again and again, all for her child. No one expected this of her, and she's always fearful every step of the way, but her conduct always reminds me of the GRRM quote, that being afraid "is the only time a man can be brave," which Mrs. Brisby demonstrates so much, with such earnest vulnerability.

The Secret of Nimh is a lot of things. It's a story about the vastness of the world as a little person in it through the perspective of a mouse, with horrors and monsters beyond your comprehension and understanding. It's a cautionary tale about human hubris towards nature and how our creations risk being condemned by the same flaws we ourselves succumb to. It's a three-way struggle between nature, science, and the unknown beyond our knowing grasp. It's a beautiful series of nature and grotesque sci-fi backgrounds and animation work, through some of the most expressive body language, facial emotions, and voice acting with talking animals, worthy of being Disney's creative challenge at the time, and especially now. It's a dreamy fairy tale narrative, where the hero must undertake a quest for a reward at the end, except this protagonist dwells in the shadow of the hero that should've been. Deep down, at its very beating heart, it's a mother journeying to the ends of her earth to protect and save her child, with fierce fear and clear courage. It's my favorite animated film.

[illegiblehandwriting1]

Hi there!

Hey guys, I'll admit it.

I'm not sure what I'm doing.

But I'm a writer, musician, and Zelda enthusiast! I write for Linked Universe mainly (Illegible_Handwriting on ao3) and I figured I should make a Tumblr, so here we are! I like a bunch of other things too, though (marble hornets, stormlight archive, gravity falls, unravel 2, metroid, doctor who, the owl house, rottmnt, ben drowned/awakening, generation loss, episodes 4-9of star wars, HUMAN RIGHTS DAMMIT, just to name a few) so I'll pretty much post whatever I want to.

I swear a lot, so be warned.

Nonbinary (and everyone is hella valid, homophobes/terfs/transphobes/racists/ableists/anti-Semites etc. beware >:( so be nice everyone)

I use "#illeg scribbles" for my writing, and #chicken scratch for any other rambles or posts I make. #reblog is exactly what it sounds like!

#smoke & ashes has its own tag, and so does #dear four chronicles! #the chosen and the champion also exists but I don't really use it anymore because I'm working on s&a, so if you want updates on that, use the smoke & ashes tag thx :D

And I don't know how active I'll be on here (probably not a lot) but we'll see how this goes! If I'm not active, don't be alarmed, that'll be normal probably lol.

I guess I should make a masterpost huh. Ok that's under the cut.

The Chosen and the Champion series (in progress)

The Chosen and the Champion (Switch gang tribute): Completed. A ton of Wild and Sky content because I saw Skyward Sword on Switch and went FUCK yes. This got off the rails very quickly. Just read all of them at this point, cuz I don't know what I'll bring back next. Chapter 20 and onwards is Exploring Sky's Hyrule.

Smoke & Ashes: Incomplete and in progress!! continues where C&C left off, with a huge fucking focus on Sky's adventure, specifically the end. However, unlike most fics, people are NOT very happy or forgiving with Sky. If you know, you know. VERY ANGST HEAVY. PLEASE READ ALL THE TAGS AND WARNINGS.

Like Mounds of Molten Gold: Incomplete and in progress!! Just a bunch of extra content for the C&C universe! Some are companion pieces to a specific chapter or section, while some are just random shit. There might be cut content every now and then. All of them help to give a deeper/more enjoyable experience to the main fic (in my opinion).

The Dear Four Chronicles (in progress)

Dear Four: completed. oneshot. pre-Minish Cap Four and post-LU Sky. Shenanigans ensue.

Hey Time: completed. oneshot. pre-OoT Time and post-LU Four. Shenanigans but it's 12k this time.

Hello Wind (temp title): being written! IDK when it'll come out, but it'll happen eventually. I promise.

The Groose is Loose! (temp title, in progress??? Maybe???)

A Weight Called Eternity: completed. oneshot. I asked the question "what was Groose doing during the Demise fight?" This is absolutely spliced from ch16 of S&A. Do I care? No. It's edited substantially as well, and is not LU, but SkSw instead. ALSO HEAVY ANGST

Other fics:

There it is again, that funny feeling...: Incomplete and in progress!! multi-chapter. It's a bunch of different ideas all stemming from the same base question: "what if Sky was the Fierce Deity?" Each chapter is a separate AU. Please heed the warnings on this one.

Imagine all the fun you and your future self could have, if only you had a driver's license: Completed. multi-chapter. Long-ass title because I never thought of a better one. Basically, pre-LU Wild and Sky are in Mariokart! Bunch of crack. Lots of fun.

Here lies Link: completed. oneshot. Four digs a grave for a dear friend. Also Wolfie is there for emotional support. Heed the tags.

Storybook: completed, i guess. oneshot, i guess. pre-Minish Cap Four knows about Sky and I think that's the most precious idea. If I ever come back to this, I'll let you know.

Freezing Flame: completed. oneshot. halloween from a couple years ago. Wind finds a graveyard. Heed the warnings.

All the Lights in the World (Are Slowly Going Out): completed, i guess. discontinued, really. multi-chapter. I tried Wumptober 2022 and I only got 3 prompts in. heed the tags and warnings.

Fluffy Pillows and Angsty Teens: incomplete! multi-chapter. Random shit i wrote!!

Beyond Recollection (discontinued): done, i guess. Multi-chapter. Was gonna be about a female hero after twi who people couldn't remember, but i left the idea.

As twilight fell: completed. oneshot. my first fic. don't read it. save yourselves. I might rewrite it eventually. heed the warnings in the tags.

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

what smiley face would they use the most if they had a phone (changing this to emoji in general)

hobby or interest they are most embarrassed about (PLEASE tell what brings shame to the Durge Boy)

what mundane human job would they have in modern society to pay the bills and do they like it

their top 3 songs on repeat name a toxic trait of theirs that is really just a beige flag at best

THANK YOU BABE EHEHEHHEEH ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 I’m going to answer for both of these smelly bitches bc I can dghj

1. what smiley face would they use the most if they had a phone

Yder’s a definite tie between 🖕 and 😐. Yder is constantly expressing annoyance, whether fondly or genuinely.

Scorpio oh man. I feel like he’s by and large a FaceTime or voice note sort of dude, and his emoji game is fuckin whack and inscrutable fghhd. He’s giving me HUGE 🔫, 🔪, 👊 vibes though, with a dash of 🙇, 🤡, and 🥰. Also maybe a few of these 🐂 bc I feel like he’s got an obsession with the strange ox and he just NEEDS ppl to know he’s thinking about it again.

6. hobby or interest they are most embarrassed about

HUEHUEHUE YESSSS. Oh god this hit me like a ton of bricks, and it’s making me cringe in sympathy embarrassment, but I feel like my poor Durge baby Scorpio has a REALLY pretty voice. Like REALLY pretty, nice and gravelly and deep. Anyway where I’m going with this is smth smth he narrates erotica and/or creates porn ASMR audios. Slaps them on Patreon, makes a mint even though he’s just doing it for fun, but if ANYONE caught him recording whimpering audios, he’d send himself straight to hell. I owe him a formal apology dfhh. He sounds like Ghost Call Of Duty |’:

Real time life update I almost got shit on by a fuckin bird

YDER. So I had to think about this a minute - NOT bc she doesn’t have shame, she has that in spades, but omfg she’s so like Go And Do that she wouldn’t have time for a hobby, let alone an embarrassing one. Oh god no I figured it out. She’s low key kind of a furry/scalie and she’s got sonas for each that she doodles a lot. One’s a water monitor and one’s a mongoose 😭😭 YDER I’M SO SORRY. I’ll give her one redeeming quality, her art Twitter is fucking insane. SECONDARY EMBARRASSMENT: this is the actual one bc it popped in my head but I think the furry thing is funny enough to leave, but she has a huge assortment of romance themed pinboards that she likes to edit and curate and if ANYONE saw them, she’d ruin their life.

15. what mundane human job would they have in modern society to pay the bills and do they like it

Yder’s is boring and immoral, but she’s a computer hardware engineer for fantasy!L*ckheed M*rtin while she’s pursuing her master’s. ): She likes it bc she’s good at it and it pays a lot, but not on its own merits.

Scorpio — my brain IMMEDIATELY said barista and dog walker?? *ETA: also is a bouncer at a shitty dive bar known for violent patrons. I mean he’s probably super married to Gale and living in luxury in Waterdeep like a trophy wife, so he’s just doing both of those to have something to do and some pocket change, even though Gale 8000% gave Scorpio a black card tied to his accounts that he can use freely. Plus he’s got the Patreon audio porn racket going on, he’s just doing shit for a laff at this point lol.

19. their top 3 songs on repeat

THIS ONE IS SO GOOD. All Spotify links!

Yder: Hot Knife - Fiona Apple (gives her Astarion feels, Abs she’ll annoy him by tugging his ear and going, “If I’m butter, if I’m butter, then he’s a hot knife.”) Беспонтовый пирожок - Grazhdanskaya Oborona (THIS SLAPS THANK YOU FOR THE REC WARDS!!). Ederlezi - Barcelona Gipsy Klezmer Orchestra (this version is so fuckin good it got me to change her name).

Scorpio: Dirty Harry - Gorillaz. Anywhere I Lay My Head - Tom Waits (ANY Tom Waits song lbr, but this one is special and probably the song he associates most with Gale). Coal - Dylan Gossett (he’s my loves-country boy, and this song makes him feel seen).

27. name a toxic trait of theirs that is really just a beige flag at best

THIS one really had me thinking bc they’re both literally decimated with toxic traits, but bending them into beige flags is a trick dghj.

Yder: oh god so her selfishness and manipulative tendencies are omnipresent and bulletproof, but 💀💀 safe really DOES use it to improve the lives of the ppl she cares about. She’s an insular, horrid woman who rarely cares if she has to kill to get her way, but she’ll put that to use to beg, borrow, steal her friends’ ways into better lives. It’s a nice bonus if it sets her up nice, too.

Scorpio: He is EXTREMELY fucking clingy and possessive—whether it’s Gale, his friends, or just someone he considers ‘Mine Mine Mine,’ like the Finding Nemo gulls. But uhhh woof his loyalty is SERIOUSLY unmatched. And you’ll never be lonely if you have his number and want to hang out!

Bonus: they’re both in insanely codependent relationships 🤪🤪 but it makes their partners feel loved, wanted, and secure! That’s kind of like getting an A in relationships, right?

[umazane-muesli]

Jukebox January: Day 7

I fell off this bandwagon SO fast it's not even funny 😭 like even for a professional quitter and give up-per like me this is kind of impressive. Anyway. I was so excited about this game, I really want to get back into it, so I'll just try to continue and pretend nothing happened. Kind of a shame, I had banging ideas for B and C and E. Maybe I'll make those posts later, or in February or something, I don't know.

Also, rereading this post i realise how incoherent and insane i sound. I'm afraid it's not gonna get better sorry.

Anyway, today's theme is songs beginning with G.

(Edit I forgot to mention what the hell this game/tag was about, here is the post explaining it)

Głośniej - Kwiat Jabłoni:

I found this band completely randomly while searching for good polish music to go with a polish book, and they have low-key become a favourite in the past couple of years. Their new album is fucking good and Głośniej is one of my favourites on it.

Les gens qui doutent - Anne Sylvestre:

I love the lyrics of this song. Kind of sad, kind of comforting.

Garden Flat - Mini Vague

This one is not even on spotify anymore, barely on youtube, I literally bought it on bandcamp to still be able to listen to it, but I had to mention it because it's one of the most surefire way to make me cry instantly like i'm some sort of pavlovian dog lmao. It's not even really a sad song i don't think, but it was used in some fuckass french web series that was my my entire life when i was a teenager (and still has a piece of my heart if we're being honest, the way I came crawling back at the speed of light when they made a movie two years ago) and anyway. Mini Vague slash Mix Bizarre slash whatever other names your band had please come back I miss you i won't even cringe at your french accents i promise.

Go through it - Blondie

I love Blondie, they have such a wide range of genres and I love Debbie Harris' voice. If you've seen me gush about Brass Ona(TM) you've probably guessed I can't resist a song with good old trumpets, like this one or Island of Lost souls.

Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran

Look, yes, Ed Sheeran, I know. But this song (and the album it was on) came out when I was in Ireland, working on a farm that had the radio on all day, and I can promise you the radio DJs were LOSING THEIR MINDS over it. Big "Ireland mention!!!!!" energy, it was kind of cute honestly. They even interviewed the frontwoman of Beoga, the band that made the song that was used as a sample in Galway girl (the song is called Minute 5 btw). This song just brings up memories of vibing with Today FM and shoveling metric tons of cow shit and visiting pretty Irish towns (including Galway, of course). I still kinda like it. But if you're allergic to Ed Sheeran it's okay, i understand, you can go listen to Steve Earle's Galway Girl instead.

Gnossienne No. 5 - Erik Satie

I like this for normal reasons :) don't even worry about it :)

Gianna - Siddharta

You know what, I get why Joker Out are such little Siddharta fanboys. This rules.

Gole sanje - Big Foot Mama

Me, scanning through a bunch of slovenian music and recognising two (2) words: I'm bilingual :)

Gold - Years and Years

I remember so vividly when this album came out, I thought I was so cool and trendy for listening to it lmao. Now he's going to eurovision apparently. Good on him.

Giordano's Dream pt. I and II - Blanco White

This new(ish) album has immaculate vibes throughout, but I particularly like this double song.

Gold Mine - Beatenberg

I've been listening to Beatenberg for ages and I'm so so happy because ALL the new music they've been releasing recently is fucking great. I'm kind of considering going to their concert in Germany please someone stop me I can't go to Germany ONLY for concerts lol

And now a bunch of songs that could be summarized as "iconic, tbh".

- Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Cindy Lauper

- Grace Kelly - Mika

- Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko

- Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

- Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

- Georgia - Phoebe Bridgers

- Green Light - Lorde

[transsexualhamlet]

Hi :)) for the fics ask - 💌📡🍭🎈🎀🍉🦋

OMG THATS SO MANY???? i love you anon

ask game

putting a readmore because um. so many questions

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

SHAKES AND WHIMPERS finally someone asks me about my wips............. oh dear oh dear oh dear. Trembling wet and pathetic awkwardly holds out 25 pages of handwritten Mairon apologism covered in blood sweat tears . This is one of those ones that I'm terrified I'm going to be dogpiled over in the fandom because. Silmarillion fandom. Intimidating. This is the first time I've read the book and these bitches are veritable scholars in Arda history and languages. Like they have damn phds. doctarates. I'm just like hi I think he did nothing wrong ever except for all the atrocities and the atrocities were fine because it's international womens day and hes like a woman to me.

Anyway I should. Actually explain them i just I have two things going on one of them is just. Six pages of independent ramblings written all at once fueled by "I just woke up with the sickest ass line of dialogue ever conceived and I need to bring it to justice Right Fucking Now" and the other is what will probably end up being a chapter fic with six or seven chapters though I haven't. Decided what point I'll end it at. I'm two chapters deep and I have tons of motivation rn so hopefully. Things will continue that way because god have I been known to abandon works of that length. (looks at the bond fic) (looks at osamu dazai is dead) (looks a-)

The first mentioned one is well. I think it's just such a funny quirky girl trait of his to have not only founded a human sacrifice death cult but to have gotten it sugar daddy funded by batting his eyelashes at the king of Numenor it's just. Truly wonderful situation and I feel it is not spoken of nearly enough. The basic concept of that snippet is "pov ur defeated enemy/prisoner/mistress/royal advisor's bedroom talk involves apocalyptic sermons dooming you to eternal suffering if you don't worship his dead ex".

The other one is pretty self explanatory and has probably been done a million times, just my take on the untold hashtag "Seduction of Sauron". Basically several chapters of Melkor convincing Mairon to seize the means of production this one is very well. It's not very favorable to the methods and ideas of Eru it is decidedly anti-Eru

📡why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

I mean that's like, half of what fandom is. It's sharing words (both fanfic and headcanons/shitposts/analysis/incorrect quotes etc) and images (art/memes/edits/screencaps etc). We wouldn't really fandom without it.

🍭why did you start writing?

It's really just how my brain works? I can communicate so much better written than out loud. I've literally been writing since before I can remember. Both my parents are writers and my parents tell me I narrated stories out loud to myself at night before I knew how to write on paper. I just. I really liked saying things and telling stories and once I started I pretty much never stopped though of course the writing I did as a first grader was not the same kind that I do now.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

I mean, as a fanfic writer I always try to make my writing fit the mood of its source material, so there is definitely a lot of variation between say, my lotr fics and my owari no seraph fics. But I know that I do have many qualities of my writing that are recognizable throughout pretty much everything I do. I have a rather pretentious style, and I focus significantly on body language, exaggerated emotion, flowery metaphors, and internal dialogue. But my humorous work does sound pretty different, though I mostly don't do that unless it's for a general audience who I feel insecure being flowery and sincere around.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

Aww, ok. I mean I think the best thing about my writing is that it fits my personal tastes perfectly. I write 99 percent for myself and the other 1 percent for the six people on the internet who will froth at the mouth over it. I write mostly to articulate and cement my Strong Feelings About Concepts And Ideas and writing them helps me literally understand how I feel about things and what it really is I'm trying to get at. It's an added bonus that other people also like it :)

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

I can't really say I'm a super trauma-ridden individual, though I guess I've had my moments. Mainly writing does for me what I said above. I turn to it to have peace of mind and delve into the concepts that thrill and move me. When I feel overwhelmed and empty and unsatisfied and confused I know it's because I haven't written recently. Maybe thats the autism

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

There's always just the general anxiety that it will be seen by the general fandom as uncalled for and cringe. I'm always worried I will be seen as a Fake Intellectual for my pretentious style and often limited knowledge on the source material and I'm worried especially when I enter a new fandom that I'll just be completely off and get 80 billion things wrong. The more I interact with, know about and post for a fandom, the less anxious I get because it's been established people like it and aren't gonna kill me.

[indigochromatic]

Hm, that's an interesting one for us. We're open to a lot of folks--family, many close friends, and nearly everywhere online--but there's still some close friends we're only just working up to telling (...yeah it's been over 4 years, we know, we know...).

This is maybe going to sound funny, but there's two layers of Extra Shit that, for us, make the process feel more complex and high-stakes, especially for the close friends who aren't necessarily tuned in to the latest queer + ND social circles info: first, if I was Just Some Guy, it'd be easier, but I'm an introject of a character many of them do actually know and also love to hate, (lmao), which doesn't really help with the whole "seeing me as a real person" situation. Second, even though it's a pretty big part of our life and we'd love to talk about it, trying to mention the whole in-system relationship thing to IRL friends (or therapists) has gone hilariously badly for us nearly every single time. Not a great time when you can't tell your friends that you exist. Or who you are. And can't talk about your significant other without having to edit out all references to anything non-platonic. (And the really fun part? even with the few friends who do know who I am, or about the relationship, trying to bring up either topic is practically always an instant conversation buzzkill, to the point where I don't even really want to talk about it with them if it's going to go like that.) "You need better friends" I mean, yeah, but also...these are folks who have known and genuinely loved my headmate for decades? These are people I respect and appreciate from seeing years and years of her memories of them? It's not always actually their fault that this shit isn't normalized if you don't live on tumblr and have a ton of queer friends? Also, like, although we're working on it, making IRL friends is pretty rough during a pandemic when you've got chronic fatigue. Anyways, this turned into a bit of a vent, but yeah. Mortifying ordeal of being known, and all that. Idk, I just get really fucking tired of having to wade through the pain of being wildly, incredibly, invalidatingly misunderstood at least 3-5 times before I can just talk to someone without having to mask half my life. -S

P.S. yeah, it's definitely a lot easier online and in system spaces, for sure, and I'm grateful for that. But we do actually also want IRL friends, and even the couple of local queer groups we've found so far have been Quietly Uncomfortable/Let's-Just-Never-Mention-It-Again about the concept of plurality.

daily discussion prompt: privacy

how open are you about plurality? has this changed for you over time? how does your openness differ across various contexts (online spaces, friend groups, workplace, family, school)? have you felt pressured to share more about your system than you're comfortable with--and/or pressured to not share as much as you would like?

[matsur1]

A Kokonoi fanfiction penned by Matsur1

Warnings: A tiny bit of swearing

Word Count: 1.3k

A/n: Not proofread yet so some things may sound stupid, I don't have the time to proof read this yet but I will one day (hopefully) [Edit: this was posted mins ago but I alr proofread it bc I dont wanna embarrass myself- ASDHHSJSS sorry to the early people who read this and read dumb shit teehee pls read it again if you saw the post without this edit:')]

There was this guy at work that you found attractive. His name was Kokonoi. Kokonoi Hajime. He was very kind despite the rumors spreading around the company you both worked in. He was very generous, caring, and funny. Not the “thirsty for money” guy everyone talked about. 

When you were still new, you weren’t yet aware of these rumors about him. He first approached you at lunch break at the very first day of working. “Hey rookie!,” he shouted in the whole office. You flinched, looking at the direction where the shout came from. It was an attractive guy waving his hands at you asking for you to wait for him. He ran towards you and spoke, “Come with me, I’ll treat you lunch just for today.” He lightly smiled.

The whole walk on your way to the cafeteria was silent and awkward but when you both reached the cafeteria and ordered food, he started his introductions and you both started to get to know each other.

After your first day at work, you felt more at ease since you made a friend at work on the very first day. You only had hoped your friendship would last even if it’s just until tomorrow. 

The next day, he again treated you at lunch. He kept insisting and bugging you so, how could you say no? And so, he did that again the next day, the next, the next, and honestly, he did that every single day. But it wasn’t just to you, he also treated rookies on their first days at work. Not every day like you though. You heard tons of whispering about him but you paid it no mind because in your point of view, he was so much more different than what the rumors say. You found it strange but at the same time, you felt a bit of “special treatment. You weren’t complaining though. I mean, who wouldn’t want a lifetime of free lunch, am I right? 

But after a few weeks, you finally had the courage to ask why he was only treating you every single workday to lunch. You both went to a coffee shop near the building you both work in. After he grabbed your coffee from the counter, he walked towards your table and passed your coffee to you. “Thanks,” you told him as he hummed in response. “Koko, would you mind telling me why you treat me lunch every day?” you politely asked. He looked at you in a way as if he’s telling you, ‘Are you seriously asking this?’ and he lightly laughed resting his coffee down on the table. “It’s ‘cause I like you, dummy. Ain’t that obvious?” he grabbed his coffee and drank while you. You paused and blushed. He glanced at you and understood what that face of yours that you were making meant. He laughed so loud it brought you back to earth. “Not in that way, idiot. I platonically like you, that’s why. Besides, you’re the only one sticking by my side even after you heard those rumors about me. And plus, I like someone else” He told you. In embarrassment of assuming it was something else, you avoided that part and focused on the last thing he said. “Oh? Who is this lucky person that Mr. Koko fancies,” you teased him, smirking. “She’s in the hospital,” his tone suddenly lowered down a bit. “Oh,” you had no words to say, nervous that you may have touched a sensitive topic. “But it’s alright, she’s been getting better nowadays,” he continued, bringing back his normal tone. “I see. That’s good to hear.” You smiled in relief. “Sooo, did you already give her your first kiss?” you once again teased him. “Bitch no,” he laughed. “What about you? You already gave it to someone?” he asked you. “No, a first kiss should be saved for someone you truly love… I believe.” You hesitantly spoke, afraid that he’ll laugh at your words. But he just gave you a hum.

After that day, you felt a bit of spark disappear. Perhaps you were a bit… jealous? Disappointed? But that’s not what matters right now. Right now, you have tons of work due 10 pm. 

Months passed by, you and Koko ended up getting more closer each month. You were very happy to have a friend like him. Yeah, just friends though. He would often talk about the girl ever since you touched that topic. You discovered her name was Akane.

“Their house got caught on fire. I rushed in to save her, ended up saving her brother instead. It’s all because that asshole looks like her.” He laughed it off. “Soon, she was brought to the hospital after rescues came. She looked like roasted bread got into coma. But like I said, she’s been getting better nowadays, so the doctor says.” He explained. “I’m so sorry you went through that. You must love her so much. I mean waiting for years, damn, you’re one of a kind.” You complimented him. “Yeah? I promised myself I wouldn’t ever fall in love again unless it was her.” He spoke with such confidence. And talks about Akane happened for many many days. You couldn’t even count the amount of times Koko has brought Akane into a conversation. You had no problems with it though, it’s just, you kinda wished it was you he was talking about that way. But it was no use, he was so in love. Everyone could see it easily once he starts talking about Akane. Plus, you didn’t wanna act so selfish towards a person you knew you absolutely had no chance with. What a lucky girl Akane was. She has a loyal man waiting for her once she wakes up. 

For about a year later, you received news. Kokonoi asked you if he could talk to you after work. You were confused but you thought of it as nothing. Hours passed by and it was finally time to go home. You stretched as soon as you got up from your seat but then you remembered that Koko wanted to talk to you. You both decided to talk at the front of the building. And when you arrived, Koko looked anxious.

“So, what’s up?” you paused, You look anxious, what’s wrong?” you continue. “Well uhm, good news, bad news. Good news coming first.” He spoke. “Drop it now then,” you responded. “Akane woke up a week ago-“ you cut him off and spoke happily, “Oh really??? I’m happy for you! Did you tell her ab-“ he cut you off this time, “Y/N, let me finish please.” He spoke in a tone of... guilt? You quickly changed into your poker face, letting him continue. “Yes, me and Akane talked now. And we decided it was better if I quit this job and start building our life.” He put so much pressure on the word “our” that for a millisecond, you felt sad but you remembered you had to feel happy for them. I mean, a week of talking and they're already talking about building their life? Oh how much trust they have in each other. Your trust was nothing compared to theirs.

“Yeah?? That’s really great!!! I’m seriously happy for you. You both better invite me at your wedding.” You playfully hit him using your elbow and kept on a smile. “Y/N… you don’t have to filter your words you know,” he held your shoulders, making you look at him in the eye. “What do you mean? I’m seriously happy for you. You don’t think I’m that kind of person, do you?” you lightly laughed.  “But-“ you shushed him, “no buts, so is she in your car? You probably shouldn't keep her waiting, Mr. Gentleman.” You grinned. “Yeah,” he took a deep sigh of relief. You gave a wave at the car, in case she was watching you two. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. But I’ll probably be too busy packing my stuff.” 

“Mhm, I’ll see ya.” You watched as he went off to go to Akane in the car. Taking one last look at you, giving you a smile. Perhaps the last smile he'll ever offer to you. You turned to look away. Suddenly rain started to pour heavily. Did the news say it was going to be rainy today? No. It was really an unfortunate day for you. And that’s when it hit you. Tears started to flood on your cheeks. 

I guess in the midst of your friendship with Koko, he was just trying to find Akane’s shadow in you.

© Matsuri

[fruitcoops]

So this is sort of similar to the people writing fanfic about the lions but can you imagine the YouTube edits? Like the videos that are just "Cap having heart eyes for Loops for 10 minutes straight" or "Loops lovingly dragging Caps name through the mud for 3 minutes" like those kinds of things and I can just imagine them doing reaction videos and it just being funny and the world just loving coops

Okay so this wasn't a specific fic request but I got carried away with imagining videos and....here you go. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Grace and Anna are mine! Bonus points to anyone who remembers the easter egg in this one!

Message From: Gracie

ANNA HOLY SHIT

Anna frowned at her phone screen, squinting to read around the spiderweb crack decorating the upper corner. She had tried to convince herself that it was cool, goth, edgy, but in the end she had to admit that it was just irritating. In a tragic turn of events, packing tape couldn’t fix everything.

Message To: Gracie

Wtf did I do

Two weeks of radio silence, then unexplained accusations. Anna shook her head as the grey bubble disappeared for a third time and turned back to her computer. Grace may have been her favorite cousin—and favorite person, if she was being honest—but very few things came between Anna and video editing. Especially editing for a Lions meme video. She had a whole 2,341 followers to attend to, after all.

Message From: Gracie

DID YOU SEE THE FUCKING INTERVIEW???

Message To: Gracie

Wow thank you so helpful

Message From: Gracie

Skip to 2:45 bestie

A link popped up just as Anna cut a segment from the sleep study video, where Loops’ heart eyes were in full effect. It was a rare, precious find for fan editors like herself.

“Come on,” she groaned. Maybe introducing Grace to the deepest parts of her hockey obsession was a mistake. But, really, what else was she supposed to do when she learned her cousin, who didn’t even live in Gryffindor, got to meet her favorite players just by chilling in a café? What kind of cosmic joke was that?

She narrowed her eyes at the embed of the link, then stifled a shriek. Impossible. How had she missed an upload?

As if on cue, her computer pinged with a new notification from the Lion Pride channel. “Oh, fuck me,” she muttered, scrambling to save her half-done video and pressing play.

The interviewer asked basic questions, ones she had heard the answers to a million times while curating her content. It always felt funny to hear people refer to Cap as ‘Sirius’—it was too official, too formal. She had spent countless hours on the compilations of his softer moments, and they were her most popular videos. Cap Having Heart Eyes for Loops for 10 Minutes Gay. Cap Being an Actual Puppy for Six and a Half Minutes. Everyone Wanting Cap Cuddles for Fifteen Minutes. Every Time Cap Smiles When Someone Mentions His Godson. The list was endless. She loved it.

She did a silent fist pump when she saw the interviewer had snagged both Cap and Loops; that would give her a whole new stream of workable content. If she was lucky, she could expand on her series of Loops Lovingly Roasting His Friends, part…fuck it, who was even counting anymore?

Anna was so caught up in her excitement that she nearly forgot about Grace’s suggestion. I’ve never skipped through a video on the first watch before, she thought hesitantly. But maybe just this once…

Her cursor hovered over the 2:45mark. She closed her eyes, and clicked it.

“—have you been adjusting to life as a celebrity?” the interviewer asked. Anna nearly rolled her eyes when Loops laughed. That question had been used far too often to be interesting anymore.

“It’s had its ups and downs,” Loops said with a smile. “Mostly, though, the fans have been incredible and just knocked my socks off with their support.”

“Really? What’s your favorite part of the Lions fanbase?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Their creativity, for sure. There was a video a while back where we reacted to some of the comments people left, and this person on Twitter made an absolutely beautiful collage of photos.”

“I have it saved to my phone,” Sirius added.

One more clip for the simp video. Anna made a note on the small corner space of her European History notes. The degree can wait for ten more minutes.

“Do you have a favorite creator?”

The interviewer was clearly teasing, but Loops’ smile was genuine. “I don’t know about a favorite, but there’s this person on YouTube who makes a shit ton of videos and they’re hysterical. I saw one the other day about—god, what was it again?”

“Every time I smile when people mention Harry,” Sirius answered around a laugh. “Can you blame me?”

Anna didn’t hear the next question. A ringing noise filled her ears as she sat, frozen, on her shitty dorm mattress and listened to her literal heroes talk about her dorky little channel. “Holy fuck,” she blurted after a moment of silence. “Holy fuck.”

“—subscribed?” The man’s voice snapped her back to reality.

“Of course I am!” Loops said. “You think I’m passing up a chance to watch a compilation of my friends making stupid decisions for the entire internet to see?”

A noise that would have been a shriek if Anna had any breath left in her body escaped her lungs; she clamped a hand over her mouth and shakily exited from the video before going to her YouTube account. 800 new notifications. 700 new followers in the last quarter hour. She was pretty sure she blacked out for a second from sheer shock and joy.

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

You’re famous!

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

I bet he knows your stuff better than he remembers me tbh

“They know me,” she whispered, staring at her computer. The unfinished video showed a perfect frame of Loops’ soft smile as he watched Cap get his toothbrush stuck in his pajama shirt. Somehow, the thought was both exhilarating and horrifying. What if they thought she was a creep? She wasn’t, not really, just a bored college student with not enough free time for a job but too much to keep herself busy with schoolwork. Her 2,341—no, 3,052—followers were just other hockey nerds looking for time to kill.

And the subject of those videos was one of her subscribers.

Anna slipped her headphones back on and began to edit like it was her last day on earth. Her fingers flew across the keyboard on muscle memory while her brain fizzed. Perfect, she thought. It has to be perfect.

In four hours, it was done. She sat back, panting, then hunched over again and began tapping out a title card.

Hello. Idk if anyone saw the new Lion Pride video today (linked below if anyone wants to see why I’m dying right now) but apparently Remus Lupin is subscribed to this channel and has been for a while.

Hi Loops. I’m Anna. You met my cousin once and she said she liked your sweater.

Now that that’s out of the way, please enjoy the next five minutes of our new rookie being the sappiest mf in existence (except for his fiancé). Mr. Lupin, please tell Hattie I say hello.

She pressed upload, peeled her headphones off, and collapsed backward on her bed.

Message To: Gracie

If I die here, tell the world I did it doing what I loved

Message From: Gracie

Will do

OH FUCK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE SWEATER I SOUND LIKE A CREEP

Anna covered her itchy eyes with her forearm and settled in for a long, long nap. Her brain still needed to repair a few circuits.

[yujikuna]

golden hour

summary: Din Djarin wanted to kiss you. The thought of it was all-consuming. It’s funny that the only thing he’s ever allowed himself to want is the one thing he is bound by a creed to never have.

pairing: Din Djarin x Reader

word count: 2k

warnings: absolutely none. just pure fluff and yearning and a shit ton of run on sentences bc that’s my brand

a/n: i posted this over on my ao3 (padme_skywalker) back in april and have decided to post it here since it did fairly well. just something light and fluffy to balance out the pain i’m sure we will all feel during the finale. i did a few quick edits and changes to make this more inclusive, but let me know if something needs to be changed. pls enjoy~

“What’s your favorite color?”

The two of you lay on a grassy hillside on some random planet Mando had stopped at to refuel and for the three of you to stretch your legs. The child was dozing off to the side after spending the entire day waddling in the field and splashing in the nearby stream and chasing after frogs. 

“Red,” Mando answered.

You were on your side, arm tucked underneath your head to keep the grass from tickling your face, watching him with curious eyes. It was nice, being able to lay there, the evening sun warming his beskar, as he played some question game you said was popular when you were younger. He didn’t know how you were able to talk so much at one time, taking the simplest questions he asked and answering them as if he asked you how the universe was made or how hyperdrives worked.

It was new to him- the whole not always being in silence thing. Not too long ago he would go weeks without hearing another being’s voice, just sitting in the Razor Crest with only his thoughts to keep him company. It was hard for him at first. It took him at least a month to be able to talk to you about something not related to the child or the ship. But your voice was smooth and sweet like the frozen cream treats he remembers loving as a child and he would listen to you talk about bantha dung if it meant he could hear your lilting accent and the breathy way you would trail off after talking for too long at one time.

“Really? Why?”

Mando glanced at you from the side of his visor. “It reminds me of the blood of my enemies,” he replied, his voice monotone.

Your eyes widened in shock before you threw your head back and laughed. Rolling on your back, you tried to quiet your giggles to keep from waking the baby. “Your jokes are getting better, Mando. Maybe once this whole bounty hunter thing gets to be too boring you can pursue stand-up comedy.”

You couldn’t tell, but he was positively beaming under the helmet, something in his chest warm at being able to make you laugh. He wished he could hear it without the filter of his helmet. He bet it sounds even sweeter.

“Okay, your turn, ask me one.”

Mando looked back up at the sky. “Do you speak any other languages?”

One corner of your mouth turned into a small frown. “No, I’m lucky that the family you saved me from were nice enough to even teach me Basic. I’ve always wanted to learn another, though.” You sat up, turning the top half of your body to him. “Oooh, could you teach me Mando’a? I always hear you speaking in it to the baby.”

He shifted uncomfortably under your gaze. Your frown had quickly turned back into a small smile and your eyes were wide with hopefulness. He wanted to tell you yes. He would learn any language in the galaxy just so he could teach it to you. “We’re not… We’re not really supposed to use it with people outside of the covert.” His heart clenched at the sight of your face falling.

You sighed and flopped back onto the ground. “I get that. Can you at least tell me what it is that you always call the baby, though? Ad’ika? What does that mean?”

He was quiet for a moment. “It’s what we call our children,” he said, deciding that the one word would be fine for you to know.

You hummed in response, eyes slipping shut. “That’s sweet. What is it that you always call me when you talk to him?” His face burns under the helmet. He uses a lot of names for you to the child. Mesh’la. Cyare. Cyar’ika. “Buir? I think that’s how you say it.”

Parent. Mother. “I… It’s just a nickname.” He clears his throat, not wanting to think about how much of a line that crosses. “You’re using all your questions up at once.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Mando turns his head to look at you again. He could hardly believe the way you glowed in the light of the setting sun. Your hair was fanned out around you, the light reflecting off of it and bringing out undertones that never show in the dim light of the Crest. It vaguely reminded him of the vibrant loom weavings the three of you had seen the local artisans working on early that day when you were in the market- but ten times more beautiful. Mortal hands could never create something as utterly divine as you were in that very moment.

Your brows furrowed slightly and you chewed on your lip. “Have you—” You cut yourself off. “Never mind.”

“Have I what?”

Your fingers twisted around a blade of grass. “Have you ever kissed someone?”

He nearly choked.

You turned your head toward him. Even the sensors of his helmet could detect the heat that had rushed to your face. “Sorry, that was a weird question. Don’t answer that.”

He couldn’t look at you when he answered. “No. I— I haven’t been without my helmet in front of others since I was a child.”

“Oh.” Silence fell between the two of you. “Have you ever wanted to?”

He should steer the conversation in a different direction. It was his turn to ask a question, anyway. He should ask you what your favorite animal is. Or what ship you would buy if you had unlimited credits. Or if— “Yes.”

He could still feel your gaze burning into him. He didn’t know if it was your eyes or maybe the sun or maybe he wasn’t really on this planet at all and he had somehow fallen in the Armorer’s forge because he felt like his beskar was melting right off his body.

“Anyone in particular?”

You, he thought. He would never say it, though. He knew that what the two of you had now was too good to ever mess up and his beskar may be hard but his heart had gone so damn soft ever since you first walked onto his ship and the mere thought of you rejecting him hurt worse than any physical injury he had ever sustained in his entire life.

But oh, did he think about kissing you.

He thought about it every time you walked in to a room. He thought about it every time you came up to the cockpit and sat a plate of food down beside him before going back down to be with the child. He thought about it the time the two of you decided to give the child a bath in a spare bucket since the sink was too small and you both were soaked head to toe from the child’s splashing and the only sounds in the galaxy were you laughing and the child squealing and you brought your hands up to wipe the bubbles off of his visor before you sent an armful of water his way and you made him laugh harder than he had in his entire life. He thought about it when he watched you work on the ship with grease smeared on your face and your brows furrowed and your tongue jutting out slightly while you concentrated. He thought about it when he turned his chair around to find you sleeping in the co-pilot’s seat, mouth slightly open and softly snoring.

He thought about it when he watched your eyes light up at the sight of something pretty at one of the marketplaces and then again when he presented it to you late at night once the child had gone to sleep and it was just the two of you and you hugged him and he didn’t hug you back but you both knew he would one day. He thought about it when he watched you take care of the child. He thought about it when he thought of his parents and how his father would always take his mother in his arms and kiss her and spin her around and dance with her and he thought about it when he told you what happened on that terrible day he lost them and you held him and cried and told him that you would burn down the entire galaxy before you ever let him feel pain like that ever again. He thought about it when the two of you got caught in a rain storm and you laughed the entire time you ran back to the ship and didn’t stop laughing as you stood under the dim lights, chest heaving and hair stuck to your face and you were so beautiful and that was the one time he sincerely thought about giving up the Creed because in his mind kissing you just once would be worth it.

He thought nearly every day about finding a loophole in the Creed. Turning the lights off. Blindfolding you. Asking you to close your eyes. He would trust you to not open them.

It’s funny that the only thing he’s ever allowed himself to want in his entire life is the one thing that he is bound by a creed to never be able to have.

So, yes, Din Djarin thought about kissing you quite often.

He could’ve told you all of this. But instead, he whispered, “Does it matter?” The words came out so softly he was sure they had been carried away by the wind.

You smiled, but it wasn’t like your normal smiles. It was sad and dejected and not like you at all. “No, I guess it doesn't.”

The sky was fading from golds and oranges and pinks to dusky blues and purples. The child was still asleep beside you and Mando wasn’t sure what kind of creatures came out on this planet at night and knew that he would have to guide you back to the ship soon.

The silence between the two of you was deafening and the few inches between your bodies felt like an entire parsec. Something cold began to clutch at his heart. He wanted to do it. He wanted to take his helmet off and hover over you and hold your face in his hands and finally just—

You scooted closer to him then, propping yourself up on one arm and leaning over him. You looked into the T of his visor and he wondered if you could see his eyes because it sure felt like you were staring into his soul at that moment.

His breath halted in his chest as you slowly inched your face toward his. Could you hear how hard his heart was beating?

He was frozen in place as he watched your eyes close and you pressed your lips to the hard beskar of his helmet right where his mouth would be and then he was on fire. He swore he could feel his lips tingling as if the helmet wasn’t there and your soft lips were on his. He was blushing, he could feel it as it traveled from his face down his neck to his chest. His entire body was tingling and numb at the same time and he felt hot and cold and Maker, is this what a heart attack feels like? Was he having a heart attack? You hadn’t even actually touched him.

The kiss only lasted a second before you pulled back and rested your forehead against his. When you smiled he felt the last bit of iciness in his heart melt away, leaving only warmth and happiness and love for this wild, beautiful creature in front of him.

“There,” you whispered. “Now you can’t say that you’ve never kissed someone.”

And then you were moving away from him, picking up the child and cradling him to your chest as you walked down the hill and through the field, taking every bit of his soul with you.

Din lay there on the hill for a moment longer. He was sure then that if he never took his helmet off for the rest of his life he would still die happy knowing that in some weird way he had kissed you and that was enough for him.

[weirdcor3]

how to make weirdcore on photoshop!! :D

i got a great ask from @demonic-screeching about how i do my shit, so i thought id make a more detailed post here! ive been making wierdcore on this blog since january 2021, so ive learnt a lot! more under the cut.

1. find a base image!! i use imgur and pinterest. imgur is especially great because its full of old ass images of the most random shit. you dont even need an account, just hop in and search for mundane stuff like 'hallway', 'field', 'house', etc! explore! screenshot/save any images you think would be cool in an edit- make your own personal archive!! they could even be stills from videos, memes, etc!

2. cropping! this is important. cropping determines the amount of context an image has, as well as focusing on a main point. weirdcore is about removing context, which makes images seem familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. it also adds to the amateur quality of the aesthetic- "why has this person taken this weirdly specific photo?" 99% of the time they didnt! i just cropped the shit out of it!

lets use an example of one of my old edits :) cool concept, cool base image. but it seems like its missing something.... what if we........

cropped it all out????

it is now....... free of context! where are we? where are we going???? who fuckin knows man...... we just gotta gtfo real quick by the sounds of it. the cropping has also compressed the image, which makes it feel even more weird and nostalgic! which brings me to my next point:

3. compression. make sure ur edits are lookin cRUNCHY! weirdcore is about amateurism and nostalgia, so use any means to make ur photos look like theyre from 2003! my personal method is zooming out of the image on photoshop so it gets smaller, then screensotting just the image, then opening the screenshot up in another document and zooming in again to reveal the compression.

4. fonts and captions! these are not necessary, but add to an edit a great deal! common fonts in weirdcore are Helvetica, Arial, and Times New Roman because theyre Normal And Boring, which really adds to the amateur aspect of weirdcore. i like to experiment with gothic and 3D fonts which can give a more webcore-y feel. this site is great for making free 3D text that you can download and add to your edits in photoshop!

as for captions, experiment! use random phrases that are stuck in your head, the more abstract the better! weirdcore is a surprisingly good way to express weird and abstract feelings. keep things vague and intriguing. ask questions!

5. editing. again, experiment! i normally fiddle with the saturation, brightness, and contrast. don't max out every setting- try and think about how you want the image to look! light or dark? bright or dull? you dont always have to tweak things if you think theyre fine as they are. other good tools include liquify, bevel/emboss, smart sharpen, gaussian blur, and warp! liquify is my favourite because you can squish and stretch the image! you can also try warping your captions too! the blemish tool is also rlly good! it can give u some weird trippy blurred out effects.

clone stamping can also help you to morph and duplicate parts of the image too! its very cool

6. go insane!!!!!!!! throw all basic design principles out the window. ignore the rule of thirds. stretch things. make them crunchy ass jpgs. use horrible colours. think about what youd do if you were a child with access to photoshop in 1997, or a middle aged conspiracy theorist making images for their cryptid blog. or like idk some weirdo on myspace.

7. orbs. use the brush tool to make orbs! theyre really good for blocking parts of an image, adding an ominous presence, making shadows, or adding bright lights! shape them, stretch them, make them funny colours. you could also use rectangles, circles, stars, etc... any shapes are cool!

8. inspiration! follow weirdcore blogs on tumblr! ask questions! learn! other resources include the weirdcore wiki and the weirdcord discord server! its where i learned a lot of what i know now, its very active, and has tons more resources there!!

overall, just experiment. you never know until you try, and its fun to develop your personal weirdcore style! its a very broad aesthetic that everyone can contribute to, and a cool outlet!

and lastly, dont worry about followers and likes! online, weirdcore is very random. some of my edits i spent 4378294 years on get like 5 notes, while i can shit something out in 5 minutes that ends up becoming my top post. popularity is pretty irrelevant here. just have fun and do things your own way!

[adhdsix]

i gotta sleep soon so ive decided i will finally dump a buncha my headcanons here aswell adfhsf theyre all in here but im gonna copy paste them as a post as well because i wanna ill be updating the doc a lot but i probably wont edit the post much notes slight spoilers but not much? i dont think? mono is written to be the tallest because rcg is more like a bonus i guess? but she is the tallest + oldest (this goes for other similar things written abt six, mono and/or rk) some of these are more like what-if scenarios (ex. modern stuff mentioned like cars) that could fit maybe in an au of sorts rather than entirely canon all links are safe

Six

she/it/they

ADHD

Tasteblind, but sensitive to certain food textures

Shortest by a lot, youngest but not by much Zero sense of time

Likes lullabies, gets Mono to sing them to her (likes to make up her own versions sometimes) Short attention span, unless she’s insanely invested in something

Definitely bites ice cream Uses Mono like a cat tree, climbs all over him, loves to sit up on his shoulders or just literally drape herself around his neck like a scarf (Mono eventually gets used to it, but she still can’t stay there for long or it starts to hurt) (possibly a little random but think like .. them + )

Likes most toys but hates dolls, usually tears them apart/messes with them for fun Not a huge fan of rain, but the sound is calming, and she loves the aftermath, which includes the smell, dew on grass, just how everything looks, worms and snails coming out of hiding, and splashing in puddles

Likes teddy bears (big and cuddly, plus, reminds her of Mono)

You are not immune to her puppy eyes. Raincoat Girl is probably the only person who is

Collects things a lot, gets attached to certain items for a random amount of time When she learns a new phrase or word, she loves to repeat it to herself ( not really in the “ look at me i learned a new word and i'm gonna use it all the time “ type way, she just finds it entertaining, kinda like vocal stimming ) Does a similar thing when she finds something that someone else said funny, mocks them by repeating it and giggling

Likes making "nests" out of her stuff

Definitely occasionally runs on all fours, it's usually not for too long though.

Most of the time it’s momentarily while she's already in the middle of sprinting, to give herself a boost with a bound or two, or if she trips or feels herself falling forward while running she'll shift onto all fours which is is how she originally developed that "reflex", to prevent herself from falling while running, but eventually she started using it a little more often 

She can also just walk normally on all fours too but she usually only uses it while running 

She likes to show off her object collections to Mono, he’s very supportive :] Loves long car rides, as well as Runaway

Brings mono gifts (usually dead rats, birds, etc. or bizzare objects from her collection that reminded her of him for whatever reason)

Hates drinks like soda or sparkling water, anything fizzy is a no-no

Likes shiny things Her pupils widen (that cat thing) when she sees something interesting, or something/someone she likes Plus her eyes shine in the dark / in photos sometimes, they usually look red

Mono gave Six their lighter

Heterochromia, their right eye is a dark, reddish brown, the other is milky white

Always chewing on stuff

Fidgets lots, stim buddies with Mono Six stims by rocking on her feet, bouncing, cracking her fingers and shaking fists most often She also vocal stims lots, mostly by repeating animal noises

It’s got tons of freckles

She likes to sing, and is very good at it but doesnt get to very often

it’s favorite things to sing are hypno and sunshine ( 11:11 hypno, sunshine )

Not super into arts, but loves to draw, and is very fascinated by origami

Often refers to Mono as a nerd (affectionate) (also sometimes dork)

Purrs, growls, hisses etc. Because she doesn't talk much, she adapts more animal-like ways of communication, not only vocally but also physical stuff (slow blinking, headbutting stuff, mostly cat-like traits and reflexes. also she likes to drop stuff off of shelves and tables just bc its fun)

Doesn't know her own strength a lot of the time

Very touch starved (they all are) even if she doesn't realise it

Flinches and/or swats others away when touched Eventually they get used to Mono, he's the only person that can touch her at all, but she still has limits

No sense of others personal space though

She’s great at tracking things, mostly small animals

Super ticklish, not very happy that Mono found out 

Very visual memory

She really loves all types of music, ranges from things like 100 gecs type stuff, to calm instrumental kinda things, literally anything with maybe a few exceptions Shark teeth, very sharp, loves making dents in stuff with them

Cat-like claws too (retractable maybe?? why not.. it usually has them out though) Love-hate relationship with snow, they find it weird and kind of icky, but Mono teaches her how to make snow angels, forts and snowmen, and she loves snowball fights (Mono regrets teaching them about those though), plus she adores going back inside and just drinking hot chocolate with Mono and sometimes other friends :]  Mono he/she Tallest of the three, oldest as well  Colorblind He has vitiligo Loves all sorts if arts and crafts, often drags Six into making stuff with him Her hair is very soft, even if it doesn't look like it Very touchy-feely, with others and with objects Knows and respects others boundaries. Six does not He will often push his own boundaries though He’s very protective, usually feels the need to put others safety and health in front of her own A little naive, will protect even if she isn’t getting anything in return from the person(s) Likes skirts! Mono loves to learn about his friends and their personalities, strengths, weaknesses etc. to use for their own benefit! For example, he has a different way to cheer up each friend, and does his best to include them in stuff he thinks they'll also like Loves any happy sounding music the most, but listens to lots of other stuff too (a few songs that remind me of him not lyric-wise but like, sounds like he'd listen to them, are She Wants Me (to be loved), Dancing in my Room, Sunday Best and Sunkissed type stuff, I don’t know music genres so) Favorite drink is probably coffee Loves all sorts of soup!! Has lots of nicknames for Six! Mostly uses kitty and shortcake (it hates them but gets used to them, only from Mono though; some of the other kids use them to get on her nerves, doesn’t end well for them) Love loves bugs! Six likes them too, but isn't as interested as Mono and Runaway (she likes to eat them) Runaway he/they Almost as tall as Mono, noticable difference though He loves chocolate milk and tea Probably the most reasonable out of the three Despite this, he still likes to annoy them (mostly Six) Similarly to Six, he sucks at keeping track of the time Likes goldfish snacks a lot His nomes are always nearby when he is Really likes coloring books and puzzles They love the sound of pianos, not the best at playing it but likes messing with them in his free time with Six (their rare bonding moments) Loves any instruments really, pianos are just his favorite Has the biggest sweet tooth Also loves bugs!! Mono and him are bug buddies His favorite bugs are caterpillars and butterflies, he isn’t a very big fan of spiders though (Mono didn’t used to mind them, but after the hand incidents in the hospital, he finds them icky; too similar) Bonus; RCG  she/they Tallest as well as oldest (again, not oldest by much though) Big sister vibes Super supportive Usually in charge of keeping others in line, doesn’t mind a little chaos here and there though (even if it doesn’t usually end well) Also has a few freckles, not nearly as much as Six Lots of energy that often rubs off on the others when she’s around Probably the most responsible, great with kids younger than her Loves teaching the others how to do stuff, has the longest attention span which makes it easier Very playful and teasing, but still knows and respects boundaries when it comes to that kinda stuff Gets easily stressed out and nervous when she doesn't know what to do, as she feels like she always has to be responsible aaaand thats all 4 now! i might do more characters like comic kids if i get enough ideas but thatll be in the doc if i ever do pleas share with me ur hcs and ideas too!!!! if u wanna i would love 2 see them!!

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

On Education

An excerpt from Memoirs of a Flesh Eater, never published.

Previous Excerpt

Next Excerpt

I think every parent struggles with the question of when they should teach their children hard truths. At some point, every child needs to learn about death. They need to learn about hatred. They need to learn about the horrors people will inflict on them for being different. This is something that is as true for ghouls as it is for humans. For most people, it is a fact of life that someone will hate you for existing.

Human-on-human prejudice is still something I don’t fully understand. At least humans have a reason to hate us. I don’t know why they go looking for reasons to hate each other too.

Educating ghouls is a challenge. We need to know about ourselves, of course. We need to know about our kind - our needs, our history, our ways of moving through human society - but we need to learn everything that humans learn too. The more we can fit seamlessly into the human world, the safer we are. You probably don’t know this, what with how much the news loves a story about a ghoul living in secret among humans, their murders exposed to the shock of their friends and acquaintances, but those of us who are brought up among humans don’t get found out very often. It’s the feral children, the big city packs that still hunt most of their food, the all-ghoul communes, that are easier targets for the exterminators. Those of us that are fully integrated are much harder to sniff out, unless we seriously fuck up.

{Editing Note: Don’t say fuck. Even though it’s a really good word}

The best way to make sure a ghoul can pass as human is to start us young. Get us into kindergarten, then elementary school, and keep going all the way through college. There’s nothing better than hands-on training. That’s what my mom did for me, mostly. I was raised in human society, in the human public school system, and I’ve never had a true close call. I’ve never caught the eye of an exterminator, and no human has ever asked me pointed questions about my habits or diet.

For the sake of completeness, I should say that I was in the human public school system for everything except for middle school. It’s not like that’s a great loss, though - everything I’ve heard about middle school sounds like hell. I don’t know how any of you survived going through puberty in front of all your peers.

{Editing Note: I am not talking about ghoul puberty unless I can find a reliable human to tell me what their puberty was like. If I wrote about something that I thought was ghoul-specific but is actually normal I’d die on the spot. I’d call a fucking exterminator on myself.}

Conventional schooling might be the best setup for success, but it’s also the most dangerous route. Kids talk, and that’s as true for us as it is for you. It takes a lot of work to make a child understand that there are some things you can never tell anyone, not even your closest friends, not ever. It’s not a fun burden to grow up carrying either. I’ve known the fear of death for literally longer than I can remember. I’ve known that letting myself be truly honest and vulnerable with any of my classmates would bring it to me and my parents before the day was over {Editing Note: True vulnerability is what I need now, though. I should find a place to talk about my dad}. It’s more loneliness than any child should ever grow up with. I was lucky; I found Scarlet in 4th grade. There are plenty of ghoul children that don’t find each other until high school, if there are even any other ghoul children to be found.

Some parents decide that the risk is too great. They’d rather have alive children than well-adjusted children, so they homeschool them {Editing Note: Okay, that’s way too harsh. Don’t be biased}. I did get to experience this approach for those couple of years when I wasn’t in middle school, and it does have some advantages other than safety. When I was in public school, my mom had to find time after school to teach me about our people. In a homeschool setting, ghoul studies could actually be integrated into our curriculum. It wasn’t completely asocial, either - ghoul parents often use their Society connections to find other ghoul children that are homeschooling so we can learn together. I met my second best friend, Scorpio, because we were homeschooled together.

{Editing Note: My friends are going to read this. I need to make it super clear that Scorpio is the second best friend I made chronologically. I’m not ranking my friends in front of the entire world.}

Scorpio’s a good friend, but he’s also a good case study for the drawbacks of homeschooling. He was homeschooled K through 12 and he is definitely the worst of my friends at passing. He has no idea what’s normal for ghouls vs normal for humans, so he compensates by either saying nothing or saying the most obvious, outlandish lies you could imagine when childhood comes up in conversation. In his defense, those lies are usually pretty funny, and he does connect pretty well with the right kind of people. Scorpio’s got a bunch of very specific subjects that he knows a ton about and loves to talk about. He and Scarlet can go on for hours about literary theory.

{Editing Note: That’s too meandering. I’m just trying to explain why some ghouls homeschool and some don’t - I don’t need to put my weird friends on blast.}

There’s another kind of formal schooling for ghouls that’s much, much rarer - the ghoul private school. The only one I even knew of, St. Raymond’s, was shut down last year by exterminators. Normally I’d tell you to take the lurid details you hear on the news with a healthy pinch of salt, and I still would, but that many rich young ghouls, completely cut off from the rest of humanity… it’s hard to predict what becomes normalized in that kind of echo chamber.

Fortunately, my patron knows more people than I do, so I have more to offer you than grim speculation. According to her, these kinds of places always have a very small student body, rarely breaking a hundred. The lesson content is pretty similar to homeschool - fully integrated ghoul curriculum, plus a few specialized lessons on blending into human society. Out of necessity, they’re almost always boarding schools. It’s easier to keep a low profile if you don’t have a bunch of ghoul kids not used to hiding going to and from the campus every day.

Apparently, it’s that kind of logistical challenge that makes these schools so rare. Aside from all the money you need to run a school in the first place, and how careful you need to be to pass scrutiny from the Board of Education, providing discretely for the needs of that many ghouls is an organizational nightmare. I mean, there’s a reason that ghoul families are so small, a reason why even our extended households rarely do more than scrape the double digits. There’s only so much flesh that can be safely obtained in one area at a time. There aren’t a lot of ghouls that have the resources and the inclination to put one of these schools together.

There is, of course, one more ways that ghouls are educated - the school of hard knocks {Editing Note: That’s such a trivializing way to put it. Have some sensitivity, me}. Given how short our average life expectancy is, it’s inevitable that some ghoul children have to fend for themselves from a very young age. I doubt it comes as a surprise that most of them don’t manage to integrate into human society very well. The lucky ones figure out early on how to kill discreetly, how to hide their nature from observers, and how to vary their hunting patterns enough to avoid the attention of the exterminators. The rest either starve quietly or die violently.

Most of these feral ghouls who survive to be teenagers eventually find each other and form packs. From a pure survival standpoint, this is a bad move. A group of feral teenage ghouls have a much harder time covering their tracks than they would as individuals, but for most, the chance at companionship is too tempting. It’s miserable, being alone in the world. Packs offer most of them the best chance to escape loneliness that they’ll ever get. And for most of them, it ends in a shallow grave within a year. Putting down a pack of feral ghouls is a good headline for an exterminator, and it’s a lot less work than trying to ferret out those of us who’ve figured out how to pass. That isn’t how the majority of ghouls die, but it’s how a plurality of us do.

For those few feral ghouls that survive to adulthood, their lives take one of three paths. Sometimes they find a patron and fall in with a household, and they do their best to heal from the trauma of their childhood. They do their best to find a happy life in human society, just like those of us who were luckier. Sometimes they become true Hunters, living their lives on the outskirts of our Society; still embraced by us, if only at an arm’s length. I’ll talk more about them later.

And sometimes, they become the Lost. Not that ghouls from any walk of life are immune to that fate, but… I’ll get to them later too. You may not have heard of them by that name, but I guarantee you’ve heard of the Lost.

{Editing Note: That’s a really grim note to end the chapter on. I should play with the structure a bit and find a more uplifting note to leave this subject on.}

{Editing Note: Or I could ask Kestrel. I’m sure she’d have ideas on how to better write the section on feral ghouls, and she could help me strike a more authentic tone. But… I don’t want to upset her. She doesn’t like to think about it, and I don’t want to hurt her. Is this important enough? Would she think it’s important enough?}

[sugary-sheep]

An Analysis of How Deltarune Chapter 2′s Soundtrack Made Me Feel, Copied From My Discord Thread

Girl Next Door - a very good track for the beginning of the game. It serves to strongly establish noelle as a familiar, friendly character, since you might not have bothered learning too much about her in chapter which makes sense considering the later revealed fact that kris and noelle are chidlhood friendsIt doesn't have any strong hints of bittersweet, it's just a plain happy melody. You're just starting the game after all.

My Castle Town - this is where the first twinges of bittersweet/nostalgia come in.It's meant to bring back memories of your adventure three years ago, chapter 1. You're back "home," at least from the player's point of view, and the player is the one that all the music panders to. (which wouldn't be a thing to note if the game wasn't so meta). It isn't very strongly bittersweet though. It's a calming melody, meant to ease you into the world, and doesn't draw too much attention to itself. If Girl Next Door is a warm breeze, then My Castle Town is the pleasant chill of fall.

Queen - this song is a wacky and fun melody, borrowing both carnival rhythm and instrumentation. It has twinges of deeper emotion and all that but it's mainly just a funny clown theme for everyone's favorite clown: Queen.

A CYBER’S WORLD? - it starts off with the main melody outlined on a chiptune low-res synth, which drops into a rich collage of higher-res synths. It evokes emotions of adventure and energy and anticipation, while also being neutral enough to act as a backdrop for all the silly things you do in the cyber fields. it's a really damn good song. it doesn't tug on the heartstrings necessarily but it just. it's so nice to listen to.

A Simple Diversion - it’s. a simple diversion. chip tune rendition of the queen motif. it's good. nothing much to analyze.

Almost To The Guys , Cyber Battle , When I Get Happy I Dance Like This - (combined since basically the same instrumentation and the same motifs) god I fucking love these songs so much. they are so happy and sensitive and soft and warm. They are like the auditory version of a hug. idk what drugs toby fox put into these songs but it fucking. they fit these funny guys so perfectly. it's just a silly fun theme about these fun little dudes. it's energetic and happy and makes you wanna dance. It doesn't take itself too seriously and it's just. It solidifies that this is a Silly game with Silly things that happen and fun people that you can be friends with.

Cool Beat - too short to analyze.

When I Get Mad I Dance Like This - same as Cool Beat

Berdly’s Theme - bringing back the CLOWNS, this time without a harpsicord though. it's a synthesizer melody and emphasizes the silly gamer antagonism that berdly provides, while not painting him as a bad person. just an antagonist.

Smart Race - this is a particularly tense battle theme, playing off of the semi-betrayal and kind if indignation you feel towards berdly since like. He's a lightner like you! and he's working for queen! what the FRICK.

Faint Courage - an uplifting melody that (tries) to soothe the pain of getting a game over. The crunched nature of the synths is notable though, compared to other soothing songs on the soundtrack.

Welcome To The City - This is the first song that really starts to dip into the nostalgia. It's still an upbeat and adventurous melody, but like. Your friends just left you, and you're exploring the city alone. It has a lot of flourishes and flair that reminds you that you're in a cool exciting city, and slowly becomes more uplifting as it goes on, but still keeps the distinctly minor sound. (if it's in a major key shut up I don't care). It's also the theme for the time you spend with noelle, and like. in that context, it feels more like a friendly nostalgic melody than a bittersweet feeling. the familiarity of Girl Next Door is back, and honestly it borrows a lot of emotional cues from Girl Next Door. They are double edged and the feelings they evoke are very context sensitive. it can be a friendly warmth, or a wishing for better, older days. 

Mini Studio - a return of the resistance motif. noticably lower res synthesizers but like. your funny little dudes are here :] 

cool mixtape - Clown to the MAXIMUM. not in that it's the most carnival inspired but like. it's really bombastic and fun while also being built around queen's clowny and wacky motifs. The instrumentation also adds to the non-serious quality, making it sound like. well, a shittily recorded mixtape. Lol. It’s great.

Hey Every ! - This song evokes all the emotions of as corrupted seen on tv advertisements with a dash of clown. Very distinctly wacky upbeat song.

Spamton - This is where the creepy factor of spamton starts to kick in. It brings on the menacing atmosphere of being in this alleyway with an unstable puppet salesman who jumped out of the dumpster, however the silly vocals do take a LOT of the edge off the creepiness. Which is fitting for spamton. because he would more intimidating if his dialogue wasn't so ridiculous and silly, and if he wasn’t such a silly little guy.

Now's Your Chance to Be A - a very groovy and slightly menacing battle theme that makes you wanna get out of this situation, but it's not like. scary. it's just a little bit creepy. Like a haunted house. it's a really fun song though. the edge mostly serves to accentuate the wacky and fun qualities of the song, like salt enhancing the sweetness of a dessert.

Elegant Entrance - This has the same menacing/eerie quality as spamton’s battle theme, but much more genuine. it takes the formerly clowny harpsicord used with Queen’s themes, and makes it sound much more regal. It's not bittersweet though. just intimidating.

Bluebird of Misfortune - a VERY strongly minor sounding song, and while it's not a super deeply resonant sadness, it does minimize the wacky/funny factor.

Pandora Palace - the first majorly bombastic song. It's the buildup to the climax, and has a very unique blend of regal, groovy, and energetic sounds with a small sprinkle of bittersweet, mostly to build tension.

KEYGEN - really cool and gives an appropriate feeling for unlocking the door into the SECRET BOSS.

Acid Tunnel of Love - very relaxing, very happy melody. it almost dips into bittersweet at times, but is a solidly uplifting and soothing melody. It's a rest for the soul.

It's Pronounced "Rules" - Rgal in a way very different from Elegant Entrance and Pandora Palace. It's a kind of pretentious regalness, and is a big return to clowniness. Because Roulxs is a pretentious clown man.

Lost Girl - It’s. very bittersweet and nostalgic. It has solid uplifting moments to balance it out, but it's. not a super happy song. it's not a super sad one either. it's just. contemplative. emotional. it'd be a good song to cry to.

Ferris Wheel - A combination of Lost Girl and Girl Next Door, both in mood and actual motifs. It's got a lot more warmth than lost girl, and the chiptune main melody gives it the silliness it needs to take the edge off it’s bitersweetness. The upbeat and kinda whimsical harmonization helps with this too. It's a theme for two girls having an awkward but really nice and fun gay moment.

Attack of the Killer Queen  - oh man.oh MAN.Such a good song. It's absolutely bombastic, fulfilling all the promises of epic finality and regal power that have been set up throughout the mansion section. It makes queen feel like a POWERFUL and intimidating villain for honestly like. the first time in the game. It also has the emotional quality, the feeling of un-rightness, once again driven by berdly being an antagonist, but the context is stronger, since you had just had the emotional connection with him and bringing him to your side.

Giga Size - this song does not let down any of the pressure from killer queen. it has all the menacing strength that you would expect from it, and takes the regal intimidation up to another level. it's supposed to make you feel like you've lost, and as far as the player knows, they have. Also it's a lot longer than you would expect??? the soundtrack is honestly filled with really short songs. but Giga Size is one of the longer ones, despite the short amount of time it actually plays. I don't remember ever being in that portion of the cutscene long enough to hear the full thing. it's worth a listen to if you haven't already.

Powers Combined - the uplifting counterbalance to Giga Size. It gets you pumped, and it has an air of finality stronger than attack of the killer queen. This is the final push. you're on the precipice of victory.

Knock You Down - This theme continues everything from Powers combined. It's less bombastic than Attack of the Killer queen, though bviously it's still very energetic and cool. It's serious in a more uplifting sense, but also quite tense. there is a lot on the line. This is the do or die moment. It both hypes you up and calms you down, and evokes a very particular emotion, especially given the context. Really good for getting in the zone.

The Dark Truth - another song that, while more emotional, doesn't hit super deep. Imo it feels like it’s going for an "exaggerated" sense of danger and sadness. Which makes sense if it's meant to instill some doubt in ralsei's credibility. it's still a very serious song, but it feels like it's trying a little too hard. (not necessarily in a bad way)

Digital Roots - a very menacing song, and probably the most truly menacing song in the soundtrack. Sets the atmosphere for the basement perfectly.

Deal Gone Wrong - This is the climax of Digital Roots and the whole process of getting the secret boss. You're in real danger now. The puppet man wants to make a deal, and he wants your soul.

BIG SHOT - woooh boy. This song carries a lot of this menace, but brings in a ton of bombastic energy and a little bit of clown as well. it's like Now's Your Chance To Be A, but more intense. The vocal editing really adds so much to this track. The motifs are very well used, and it's just an incredibly fun and dramatic song. it's groovy! it's wacky! it's intimidating! It gets you pumped! it's a very good song

A Real Boy - This one is a really nice song. it's got a very nice uplifting quality and there's a very subtle and like. almost angelic sharp pad in the background of it that you wouldn't immediately notice adds a lot to the texture of it, combined with the crunched and low res main synth. the background of that scene fits it perfectly. Childishly painted sun and sky and all that. He’s a real boy now. You freed him :). He can escape his strings now :) 

dialtone - It’s like if you took one of the more emotional songs in the soundtrack and made it a little silly. Which makes sense. You're supposed to feel kinda bad for him, but he's still a weird wacky guy who just tried to kill you.

sans. - what do I need to say. it's sans's theme. it's wacky in an extremely chill way. it contrasts with basically all of deltarune's wacky characters, and that's perfectly cool. sans is a chill guy, especially in this game.

Chill Jailbreak Alarm To Study And Relax To - this one is just toby having fun. It's napstablook's theme with an alarm in the background. it's funny, it serves it's purpose as a gag. it's great.

You Can Always Come Home - this one has the nostalgic quality that I've been talking about very strongly, but the melody is just. It's so soothing and uplifting that you can't help but feel warm inside. it might be cold and snowing outside, but for now, you're home. you're with your family, you're sipping hot cocoa. Everything is right with the world, if only for a moment. You can always come home.

Until Next Time - another soothing melody, being a corrupted version of Don't Forget, and it evokes a lot of the same emotions, if a bit less strongly. It plays into the mystery of the ending, and would probably suit the snowgrave route pretty well. It's a good ending song in general though. It doesn't drown you in emotion. It lets you feel how you felt about what you just experienced.

Before the Story - really strong song. It's hard to fully analyze it given like. there isn't a lot of gameplay context. but it is a very dark and rich song. it's really good.

Berdly (Rejected Concept) - This song sucks ASS. it's like. pretentious. but also so cringe fail at the same.