#and bring ur wife
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Anti-Cosmo step up ur game bruh
#pls come back#and bring ur wife#especially bring ur wife#Peri filling in bc of AC's hiatus#fairly oddparents#the fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
3K notes
·
View notes
Note
JJK OLYMPICS OHHH YOURE A GENIUS
head spinning w sooooooo many athlete aus rn…..
satoru honestly isn’t half as cocky as the media makes him out to be but he could be because you bring up world champion men’s freestyle swim times and it’s his name on the scoreboard ten times before someone else shows up. he’s faster than himself by fifteen seconds all around, he’s earned a bit of cockiness. mentioned in the last post that whenever he’s at a competition and he finishes a race, he looks at the camera and signs a little infinity sign and then blows a kiss to you. some bitter old coach always calls him out on it, and gets him fined for unsportsmanlike conduct, and he’s happy to pay the fees if it means getting a message home to you, but eventually you two come up with a new code; and at his next race, he places gold, turns to the camera, crosses his middle finger over his pointer finger and smiles. when he’s in his post-race interview, he makes sure to explain that he does it for you with the widest smile on his face.
megumi nepotism baby but not in the same sport. toji was a multi gold medalist back in his heyday for shooting, so it’s not really a surprise to anybody that megumi has scary good aim, but he takes to archery instead of shooting. actually the idea of megumi being an emo little kid and throwing rocks at a tree when his dad pissed him off his hilarious, and even funnier is toji watching him, slightly amused and a little scared because megumi is maybe six and hitting the exact same spot every single time. he grows to be very blase about it—it’s more of a release/hobby for him that he happens to be really good at, and well, now good enough to earn a few olympic medals. megumi is not a fan of having his dad ruffle his hair on international television after he’s won, but he supposes it can’t be helped.
i don’t know where to put yuuta…. tennis…. tempting….. him in his little white shorts…. little grunts after he serves…. cries….. a complete 180 in his personality when he’s playing vs doing anything else. so charming and sweet and kinda shy when he’s being interviewed, and the second he steps on the court his eyes are so cold it’s scary…. need him… extremely nerdy about his rackets, and shoes, and clothes, and rambles to you about aerodynamics and posture and torque whenever you ask him to teach you, and you always have to shutup him up with a kiss and remind him that yeah you sort of want to learn to play tennis for him, but mostly you came bc he looks hot doing it. once he got asked in an interview if he ever thinks about you while he’s playing and his response was very concise, “no, never. it would be a big distraction,” and did not realize the implications of his heavily televised words.
also…. not to make this post 40% yuuta but we could pull from canon a bit and make his sport fencing. he doesn’t excel because he’s the strongest, it’s because he’s learned to treat the sword as an extension of himself and a good strategist… also because i like the image of him pulling the helmet/mask off and shaking his hair out………..
don’t even know where to put yuuji…. volleyball? basketball? track and field??? the irony of him easily being the most athletic but canonically does not want to play sports 😭 but i can see him playing a sport because someone scouts him and it turns out to be a way to make steady money to support himself and his grandpa :( by the time he’s qualified and made it to the olympics, wasuke is doing much better (thanks to yuuji having landed some preemptive sponsorships and being able to afford better medical care), but not so well enough that he can travel across the world to watch yuuji play. wasuke tells you that you should travel and be with yuuji, but yuuji is so touched by the idea that you would stay with his grandpa and be by his side when he’s away :(( he wins gold, of course, and he doesn’t even wait until the closing ceremony—which, he’d mentioned in all of his interviews, so nobody can be too upset. he’s on record saying, “i’m excited to play, but i’m even happier to be going home. my girlfriend and my grandpa are watching me and i miss them!” several times— he’s on the first flight home with flowers, and tears in his eyes. puts his gold medal on his grandpa’s neck as a thank you, and spends probably thirty minutes straight hugging you and kissing you and honestly don’t put it past him to propose now that he’s got nike ambassador money
nanami started judo as a way to relieve the stress of his overbearing job, and someone at the gym/training center notices he seems to be a natural despite being a beginner. he starts to draw a crowd, which annoys him at first because the point of judo was discipline and release from having to deal with too many people at his office job, but nanami supposes he can’t be too mad when you introduce yourself as a talent scout and offer him professional training. there’s irony in him accepting your offer, because it was definitely not based in professionalism at all… quitting his job as a salaryman to become a professional athlete in his mid-twenties was not on his bingo chart, but if it means he will have met you, then so be it. you’re with him all the way, through his training, competitions, world championships, qualifiers, all the way until he’s on the podium. you’re the first to congratulate him, but he interjects by telling you he’s quitting. you ask him why—he just won at the olympics for crying out loud, but nanami just shakes his head, puts down his flowers and his medal so his hands are free to hold your face and tell you, “it would be unethical to kiss my manager, so i am quitting.” (later, when everything is said and done, and you two are cuddling, you mention to him that he could just hire a new manager, and not quit his new career, to which he blushes because yeah… that’s probably more rational, but rational was not in his train of thought at the time)
#anonymous#nanami kento.......................................... god#also yuuji :((((( just a kid who wanted to do something nice for his grandpa I will CRY#immediate proposal when he gets home to you who does he think he is? yuuta?#speaking of yuuta he's like the best player his age and he's always asked to attend events or parties or whatever#and he's always like ah no thank you I am going home to my girlfriend#every fucking interview it's like yeah I love tennis but I love my girlfriend more for supporting and encouraging me#my girlfriend my girlfriend my girlfriend#one day he actually seems Excited to be doing his press conference and a journalist picks up on it to which yuuta happily raises his hand#and lets everyone know that he's now engaged. and very very grateful for his wife#he does the same shit a few years later like randomly during a press conference he's like#'I am kinda nervous. my baby didn't sleep well last night so I was up with him pretty late' and everyone's like BABY?#and yuutas like yeah! he's almost 14 months now do u wanna see him!#let me stop bringing kids into this bc w/ satoru and kento I could go on for hours....#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#yuuta x reader#yuuji x reader#megumi x reader#nanami kento x reader#once u asked megumi what he thinks about when he's practicing and he's so deadpan as he reloads and arrow#and right before he lets it go he's like 'ur ex boyfriend' and then hits the target dead in the center LMFAO#olympics au
551 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think about this once a week
#and i mean that#byler#u know in the it crowd when moss says ‘ur my wife roy! ur my wife!’ thats how i hear this#it brings me to tears sorry#mine
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
just so you know I'll never recover from the ending of magi like yeah in general it left me devistated but Jafar's final appearance being him back in the sindria robes still with this just steadfast never ending belief in a man who he devoted his life to and who then in return betrayed him on such a fundamental level. like im gutted.
#:v#jafar magi#Magi#the only way I can describe the ending from Jafar's perspective is cruel like that's the only word#how they end out his character. back where he started waiting on sin. I can't man I literally can't#sinja#in spirit#Like it's worse than kill your gays it's leave ur gay abandoned and waiting for his dead husband to return#Hes literally a 1920s house wife leaning against the window wistfully wondering when his husband will return from war#Like I do enjoy this emotion from fiction but I'm not sure it was the intended effect#I need to lie down#Jafar makes me so miserable BRING HIS HUSBAND BACK#where's my ''jafar I'm home'' for post magi .#He's still waiting on sin to come back. he still believes in him#what's more heartwrenching Jafar's last interaction with him being jafar thinking he had really gotten through to sin when it was a lie#or that not even being enough for Jafar to lose his faith in Sinbad.#I can't fucking do this#It was such a come to grace moment for Jarfar too#He was literally pleading with Sinbad he was so desperate to get through to him#all love and devotion and faith and Sinbad threw that all back in his face and betrayed him#AND JAFAR IS STILL THERE. WAITING. HOPING. LOVING.#IM GONNA VOMIT
178 notes
·
View notes
Text
there are some parts of season 10 that imply that the meta was an intentional experiment by the director/counselor or that at the very least they knew what was going on/what was going to happen and didn’t do anything to stop it/wanted it to happen. but that always stood out to me because like. why? they actively want more ai. how does sigma reforming them help? why tear the alpha apart if you’re going to put him back together? but then i thought, well sigmas goal isn’t JUST to reform the alpha. it’s to achieve metastability. and if sigma had the idea that reuniting the fragments might achieve metastability, might the mind he was based on had the same thought?
tear the alpha into pieces. give those pieces life of their own. put them back together, after they’ve grown. create something greater than what you started with.
there’s the question of “why would the director want to achieve metastability”. him being an ai researcher is reason enough on its own, but it’s definitely a pretty extreme way to achieve this. it’s not like the scientific community would be thrilled with the idea of “yeah we can make sentient beings but we gotta torture them first.” and it’s definitely not for the sake of alpha.
but he does have someone else he wants to bring back to life.
#rvb#agent texas#leonard church#the meta rvb#yes anon i did get ur message it just made my brain go down this line of thinking instead lol#also i can’t say ‘put them back together’ without thinking of fnaf 😞#people make jokes a lot about how the director did all that shit to bring back his dead wife but like a lot of what happens on freelancer#has nothing to do with allison#but like. if the goal with the meta was to have them achieve metastability only for the director to take them and turn them into allison…#i feel like this can almost maybe kind of explain the 100 tex bots too? like. kind of? a little?#meta#director
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lots and lots of Peely and Jonesy, ft. A small Hope :)
#I love them smmm#the new chapter bringing more peeljones to me.. thank u#wanna draw some more Hopes too#but anyway I hope ur all liking this new chapter I think it’s pretty fun#personal#drawing#art#sketch#doodle#fortnite#peely#jonesy#peeljones#jonesy x peely#peely x jonesy#hope#hope fortnite#John jones#jonesy fortnite#peely fortnite#my wife was reading me the court case between Apple and Fortnite bc of peelys appearancs#it’s so funny#like ‘sir he’s just a banana’ takes me out#but anyway if u didn’t know it’s why they put clothes on peely now#bc they thought they were naked#but bro the peel is literally their clothes#their beach outfit proves it lmao
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmm liu bang being a verified member of the baby-tosser's club is not as cut and dried as i thought, apparently it's only mentioned in xiang yu's biography but is omitted in his. that's a conflict of interest if i've ever seen it. that being said, u gotta admit nothing about han gaozu make this seem at all out of character for him.
#chu han#note to self: don't live ur life in a way that if ur sworn enemy starts a rumour of u pushing ur kids out of a moving vehicle future#societies will go “no that's plausible actually”#i've seen multiple versions of this discussing the moral implications of his actions.#from a confucian standpoint this could actually be framed as a moral and selfless act 1) children are expected to sacrifice themselves#for their fathers. of course leaving two kids to be killed by enemy soldiers would have been unpalatable in any time period.#sacrifice goes down easier when it's “hua mulan does drag” and less “holy shit someone call CPS.”#b) it's similar to an anecdote of a woman being praised for abandoning her own baby to save her brother's baby. because she was#putting aside her personal needs for the “public” good.#which was why luo guanzhong made up that story about liu bei tossing a'dou and how much he praised cao cao for refusing to mourn his dead#son. it's about the personal vs public. you also get similar vibes from bai juyi's poem where the murder of the emperor's#favorite concubine is framed as a noble and selfless act. for HIM. yang guifei is an accessory and her feelings on the matter don't matter#what i don't see discussed is that Confucianism is based on the concept of benevolence; worth and hierarchy#it's top-down. king > duke > husband > wife +children. and it's a theme i keep bringing up. if kings can lose their heavenly mandates#so can dads. the father should be a benevolent individual that is worthy of sacrifice. he should fulfill his role as a protector and mentor#the whole concept taken to it's logical extreme and corrupted by the rigid patriarchal society becomes incredibly self-cannibalizing#...but then again the purpose of the machine is what it does
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm kinda really in love with the idea that if miles realizes something off about his gender identity, it's gonna be when hes around his late 30s to even early 50s honestly it will take him a while. he's the embodiment of this tweet
which will probably prove my point of him realizing stuff like that post soj or something, AND I'M ALL FOR IT!
i really like applying this to transfem miles the most cuz she'd have a realization from the most mundane of moments and spend like an entire week at the very least thinking of a new name she'd go by and it's all really beautiful old fashioned names and she spends all night researching about hormones and transitioning on top of finishing all her paperwork and when she finally starts... you know, transitioning and wearing more stuff that she actively likes she gets really gender euphoric and like. Yeah i love you (reads notes) Matilda Edgeworth it's always never too late to realize your identity queen
#miles edgeworth#my cute madame chief prosecutor#honestly sprinkles in some narumitsu and now phoenix is a fully fledged I Love My Wife Guy#this is my morticia and gomez#it just brings me so much joy whenever trans people realize theyre trans pretty old in their lives cuz its never too late to be happy w ur#identity and stuff#and also this applies to transmasc miles. i love transmasc miles#miles is just so transgender and Not So Cis that im just loving it#the frills was a big contender#a cis person's closet doesnt look like theyre from the victorian era in 2027 im telling you that#UGH I LOVE YOU MILES EDGEWORTH#(miles vc) im probably transfem but im the chief prosecutor so idrc about that rn
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
welcome to elysium part 2: trial time...
Kuya asks question 1: I'm. I'm stressed for olivine. I can feel my chest tighte ning. I ma sweat.ib
Kuya asks question 2: YIKES😬. AND a HaLf i. I have to leave
(minimises the app and lies on the floor for a solid minute)
ok. Ok let's keept his goin. It's ok It's ok olivine confronting his truths is ok he will be better after airing it all out IT WILL BE FINE deepbreathsdeepbreaths
*coughschokes and falls flat back onto the floor*
(....)
(Regains consciousness a few moments later)
Phew, ok,,, we're safe, olivine is facing it head-on and kuya is-
What THE EVERLIVING FR$* ISTHA*passes out again*
#dragQUeen STORYTI-- I MEAN. evil wife OLD FOX STORYTIME WITH THE CHILDREN AT THE LIBRARY!!!!!!#kuya smiling without malice? in an event? where people can see?????#oli calling kuya out on his existential dread?????#from one mother to another. i can see the ennui in ur eyes#eiden's voice piercing thru the veil of self-doubt and general wallowing...#oli and kuya being surprisingly civil toward each other#despite oli's first comment upon their introduction that kuya's personality is a trial from god 😄#master of elysium was all LET ME TIE UP THIS PRIEST WITH A RIBBON AND PRESENT IT TO MASTER KUYA#and kuya's like naaahhh i bet he's more amusing when he's free roaming and independent#(subjects him to an extremely stressful game of truth or dare)#the girls (kuyoli) are turning slumber party games into Saw movies :(...... :)?#part of me wonders whether kuya actually gave that dude what he wanted#actual infinite sweet dream coma or...? plot twist i'm actually gonna torture you forever#i think he got the sweet dream but i just wanna know what happened at his old trial#i am not clever when it comes to these things. somebody needs to stand there and blast me with exposition#paragraph style. all written out.#he dodged the question... but he didn't get stung...? and .... uh whu? or he jus t lied? but he thought his lies were the truth?#furrows brow. idon't know. and i mean. i guess he got what he wanted in the end#what he THINK he wanted in the end?#*shrugs* oh well. i guess it's just . kuya and oli finish their very special episode of uhhhhh#addressing your actual problems before turning to drugs? no. use responsibly and safely if you must?.. uh.....#don't force drugs onto people? ...and... never bring children into a den of desire?#sure! let's go with that!#welcome to elysium
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
so with Ozzie referring to Stella as Stolas' smokin' wife. Stella for smokin' wife... i mean.. 😏
#⸻ ₊˚ʚ delete this. ₊˚✧#── ♡ ❝ i can bring the sex appeal. ( ooc )#sorry Stolas.#ur cute too birdy babe.#idk Ozzie might *like* Stella's bite#he really said u fumbled a smokin wife. HOT wife..#had the hottie. had a kid. had the matrimony most strive for. but then again .. 😈
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
getting absolutely decimated in the best warden for anders poll for the hilarity of queen cousland having an affair with anders of all people. I made this canon in my world state solely because of king alistair in da2s dialogue for political marriage cousland suggesting that he really does not like her at all. and also him and anders "didn't you used to be a warden?" "didn't you?" ass exchange. Send tweet
as a setup a little heterosexual for me but funny enough that i'm still into it. hope varric writes a book abt it and gets promptly banned from ferelden
#can you imagine being able to bring up 'well your BOYFRIEND blew up the KIRKWALL CHANTRY' in arguments with ur wife#killer
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
presently losing my mind a tad at the visual of lawrence's perfectly cyclical return to the bathroom trap, looking down upon hoffman, the failed discipline he's caged, like some sort of shadowy limb of god ejecting the fallen angel from his kingdom for his hubris, but in the same motion looking back to where he began. he leans onto his cane and coldly meets the wrathful gaze of the beast he has locked in, but in doing so must also feel the weeping gaze of a man he left behind. do you feel the weight of adam's judgment around your neck, dr gordon? it had to be this place. he always had to come back. i'll come back for you. and now he has, a promise technically kept. though adam has never been allowed to leave, all this time, always left behind. he, much like lawrence, has seen everything. but he turned the lights out on him. it's fucking biblical mate *gnawing on arm commences*
#gracious these movies are so completely silly#and 3d is a unique brand of extra super fucking silly#but its the sheer audacious stupidness that brings us tiny bits like *gnawing on arm resumes*#he turned out the fucking liiiiigghghghTS on Him#oh and promotional dvd clap clap clAP CLAP CLAPCLAP my babygirl lest we forget#babe appears on screen and i leap up like 'adam!! thats ur fucking wife hon!!'#ill engage in pithy japes about twist reviving adam stanheight with the rest of em but then the voice on my other shoulder is like#'ah but would having him be undeaded not ultimately taint your Perfect Vision.' and i have to sulk and begrudgingly accept facts. alas.#saw#saw 3d#does this count as chainshipping lads uhhhuhlmao?#chainshipping#sure i believe
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
Honestly this ask blog is like a Church of Irene and you’re the one manning the confessional booth, hearing about all of the Aarmau/Aaron complaints (the matrons sent her strongest warrior)
Love that in this church I have a billboard with everyone's confessions to broadcast
#can u imagine u go to church#confess to the priest you cheated on ur wife#the priest announces that /someone/ cheated on their wife here#and the crowd boos#also thank u#I actually usually cannot handle confession accounts cuz they get too negative and bring down a good piece of media#but Aphmau's series' are kinda self-destructed#so this is all fun and sillies <3#if we ever escape the aarmau asks that is
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can someone. Explain to me. What's going on with high cloud quintet lore??? People said there's retcon?? Im confusion??
#[borealis.txt]#hsr#high cloud quintet#hcq#first of all 1) whats going on with yingxing and dan feng?#2) whats going on with blade and dan heng?#3) so ur telling me that dan feng tried to resurrect baiheng and yingxin; who clearly hates the abundance; helped him#and then was mad at dan feng bc it backfired and made him hard to kill. WHAT#like. how do we even get there. yongxong hates the abundance yet helped dan feng in that and now mad at him for it????#i thought its bc yingxing was short lived and when he was dying/grievously injured#dan feng tried to make him live longer using abundance; thus bringing us to blade hating dan feng for turning him#into what he hates the most; an abundance monster.#thats the most logical one to follow????#like im not questioning them wanting baiheng back. friends do crazy shits too when grieving. BUT I ?????#to me its like this:#baiheng died -> jingliu went mara struck bc she lost her wife -> yingxing is dying -> dan feng tried to make yx live longer -> blade.#thats what its like to me#idk man I've finished the main and companion missions. i still don't understand how?? why blade is mad if its bc of ressurecting baiheng.#im confused im truly am. please help me.#fuckin. typo. im sorry yingxing.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
):
#personal#ugh#not a day goes by where i dont think of her /:#we were such good friends /:#and like admittedly i needed to take space after all that i don't regret it#but i h8 that she prematurely apologized b4 even hearing my frustrations or why i was hurt#bc she apologized for what she THOUGHT i wanted to hear#and it sucks /: cause i really hope she's doing better#i hope shes ok#and i miss her#but i cannot bring myself to message her bc like......#i just don't understand how you hear your friends say something shitty happened with someone ur involved with#and blow up at them and demand proof of it#like i dont care how stressed you are with other stuff .......... who does that??????#nvm the fact that like. majority of the stress she had expressed to me then was literally about...... the ppl who did the fucked shit.......#idk. im just sad#she made me feel so seen and held and heard and we were just friends but like..... i cherished her so much ):#ALSO NVM THE FACT THE DAY BEFORE SHE DID THIS I LITERALLY TOLD HER (after talking to her abt smthn separate) tht#the only way we'd stop being friends is if she did LITERALLY exactly what she did#and yeah she sent it to my Wife's DMs#but honestly that makes it worse cause she knew i was there#nd treated my wife after all that like she was an evil meanie while she apologized to me#(which imo idc it reads and transmisogyny)#and she just like. up and left Everything b4 realizing she fucked up#like she did choose this#and im respecting that and respecting myself enough not to try running and begging her to be friends again#i just. idk man. it sucks
4 notes
·
View notes